Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

you wake up.

henry gasped. he rested his worn hand over his heart as he felt it squeeze. “l-lark… sparrow…” his two beautiful boys looked at him, a mixture of terror and surprise on their young faces “remember me…” and like a candle being snuffed out far too soon, the crunchy munchy granola eating birkenstock rocking hippe nature druid dad was gone.

Chapter Text

you're still awake.

light yagami was sprawled on his bed, giggling and kicking his feet. “whats the most crunchy munchy granola eating birkenstock rocking hippie nature druid dad name i can think of? lets wright it down for funsies.” he took his pink fluffy pompom pen, and in gorgeoys cursive, wrote out *hen’ry oak* he dotted the apostrophe with a heart.

Chapter Text

you're still awake.

light yagami giggled again and kicked his feet harder. "i should move on to nouns." he doodled little hearts in the corners of the death note. "how about river?" he fancily lettered their name in. far away someone dropped dead. the megamind movie plays.

Chapter Text

you're still awake.

light yagami's face dropped in horror.
his inner monologue started.
oh shit. i just killed the man who wrote rocks rock. now how can i survive without my epic beats?
light yagami grabbed another sparkly gel pen, blue this time, and doodled in another name.

light yagami

just kidding

he found dream from the dsmp and revived henry and river and they all lived happily ever after

the end.

Chapter Text

you're still awake, right?

something dark awakens.

shi creaks with movement after remainign dormant for so long.

a wild casey appears.

Chapter Text

are you still awake?

casey kills everyone...

...except light yagami.

"you. you bastard. what did you do to henry and river? why arent they the same as they used to be? and dream! dream sucks roflmao XD" the megamind movie starts playing again. casey takes light's head in hir arms and slits his throat.

somewhere far away, the megamind movie finishes.

earth is drawn to a standstill.

everything stops spinning.

oxygen stops working.

you wake up.

Chapter Text

what do you do when your arm itches?

Chapter Text

you cut it off, presumably.

Chapter Text

"nick thinks otherwise."

"if his arm itched, he wouldn't do anything about it."

"nothing at all."

"after all, what could he do?"

"phantom itches were a bitch."

"heh, that rhymed."

"what, you were expecting something deep?"

"nick honestly couldn't bother at this point. you'd have to pay him to care."

"his arm was gone, and so was his trust in your harsh world."

"but you don't care. after all, he's just a character to you."

isn't he?

Chapter Text

"lark wakes up, and fire consumes him. the scent of brimstone, fire, weed, and something vaguely christmaslike overtakes him."

"he remembers that lopsided smirk."

"at this point, he is used to it."

"he takes a couple of long-fought-over pills."

"the fire recedes."

"his memories of nick do not."

Chapter Text

"sparrow receives a call. it's 3:41am. a normal 20-something should be asleep."

"sparrow is not normal, nor will he ever be."

"she lets the phone ring for a minute. it's far too early to put up with this, no matter who it was."

"alas, they roll over and slam their hand on the phone."

hello?

"a demonic voice replies." sparrow, there's been another incursion. i need you. now!

"sparrow is halfway out of bed, before he realizes."

"the doodler is gone."

"nick is gone."

"her walls curve inwards."

"their ceiling caves in."

"purple slime drips."

"the voice on the phone screams, and hangs up."

sparrow awakes.

Chapter Text

"sparrow receives a call. it's real this time. it's still early. a normal 20-something should be asleep."

"sparrow is not normal, nor will he ever be."

but you know that already.

"sparrow gets up faster this time."

"what's the point of calls if there's no one to receive them."

"sparrow hears lark's voice. 'sp..sparrow- get here. i need you. these pills... something's wrong. i can't think pro-' his words slur off."

"sparrow takes a few calming breaths. 'already on my way."

"she gets dressed, nothing too fancy. his binder hurts. they take it off. lark would kill her for wearing it too long." nick would too

"he grabs his keys. his keychains jingle at him. the two little birds clink together next to a purple pentagram and a chug jug." the phantom presence of a little fender guitar clinks with them

"she starts her engine. it roars to life. he had donated his eco friendly one." the red exterior reminded them too much of nick's teasing

"the radio plays. 'what the hell am i doing here? i don't belong here.' the lyrics hit a little too close to home "

Chapter Text

"the door clunks open. a faint floral scent wafts through the air. lark misses it terribly."

"sparrow rushes to him. he's on the floor in the spare bedroom." the one where ---- used to sleep on bad nights

"faint music plays. lark has managed to start the old record player in the corner. the disc spins." faintly, exit music (for a film) plays. ---- spins lark around, giggling like a middle schooler. 'this isn't the best song for dancing' lark grumbles. ---- doesn't mind. ---- shows lark how to twirl"

"sparrow stops the music. lark finally notices him. 'i- he- i shouldn't be here- where am i?' sparrow looks down at him. his hair is messy, it hasn't been cut in years." ---- used to cut it for him

"lark seems to realize that sparrow won't answer him. he stands, or tries to. his phone remains on the floor next to him. it's unlocked, call history showing." it's just line after line of ---- <3, ---- <3, ---- <3

"sparrow realizes this. sparrow holds him under the arms. she puts him in the bed. the covers are already rumpled, sweat and tear stained." the covers smell like ----. everything smells like ----"

"lark's eyes shudder closed. sparrow climbs into bed next to him. his hair's come undone from it's braid. it hasn't been cut in years, because what were they if not the same man, twice."

Chapter Text

Lark wakes up. For real this time.

His dreams have been haunting him recently.

He wished they would stop. There's no way he could lose Nicky, right? And Henry? Even though he had fallen asleep to Death Note, Light Yagami had no right showing up in his dreams.

Nicky rolls over in his sleep. Lark stares at him.

Long hair so black it's almost blue drapes over round cheekbones and eyes wrinkled from smiling too much. Reddish-orange split ends beg to be caressed. Lark prevents himself from doing so. He would have forever to do that, and Nicky could use the sleep.

Lark would be there for him later and forever.

right?

Chapter Text

Lark can't stop staring at the microwave.

Such a small device. The radiation was probably getting to him. But strangely, the corner of the microwave shook. It jiggled like Doodler pus.

"Nicky, do you see this?" Nicky had woken up earlier, but he was resting on the couch, his shirt off, revealing well-worn scars and ripped abs.

He pulls Lark from behind, resting his chin on his neck, scratched by Lark's short stubble.

"Looks fine to me, sweetheart. Wanna go finish Death Note?" Lark shrugs the demon off his shoulders, and turns to look at him. "No. Something's wrong. Why don't you see it?"

Nicky blinked up at him. His purple eyes reflected the sunlight.

His purple eyes? Nicky's eyes were auburn, like his mom's.

Nicky stepped backwards. "What's wrong?" she said.

She? Nicky was a guy. Yes he was trans, but Lark had never misgendered him before.

Sparrow looked at him again. "Lark? Are you okay?"

Sparrow? When did Sparrow get here? Where was Nicky?

The microwave beeps.

A bomb beeps.

A clock ticks.

A bird sings a song of mourning.

A lovesong plays, and a nark turns it off.

lark wakes up.

Chapter Text

lark wakes up. henry wakes up

lark stares through the void. henry stares through the void

lark sees a man in a purple robe. henry sees a man in a purple robe

lark makes eye contact with the man. henry makes eye contact with the man

the man speaks to him. to him

"you're not enough. you can't ever be enough. you hold no purpose. no... reason. why are you still here?"

lark just stares. henry's quick to respond with a rebuttal

lark slumps into himself. henry stands up a little straighter

lark is boosted only by himself, or so he thinks. henry is boosted by the rest of his friends, or so he thinks

lark turns to leave. henry gets closer to the purple robes

lark wakes up. henry goes back to sleep

Chapter Text

lark wakes up.

how many times has he awoken? sparrow should get him new pills.

sparrow. nick

sparrow. nick.

lark needs her needs him. right now.

was he even awake?

he blinks. blinks again. slower this time.

his eyes shut.

lark sleeps.

he stops dreaming.

"right? he stops. it's over now. you've put him through enough, dear author. haven't you?"

i'm sorry, my dear reader. he does not. for our songbird is merely a character, i can do with him as i wish. that's what fiction is for, is it not?

"because he is fictional, right? he has no true soul. he is only a puppet for us to play with?"

correct yet again, dear reader.

Chapter Text

Lark wakes up.

He hates dreams. Especially ones like those.

The crushing kind. The ones that reminded him of his shortcomings. His failures, of which there were many.

The ones that reminded him of Nicky. Of what they'd had. Lark misses him more than anything.

"What do you do when your arm itches?"

"You cut it off."

Thanks a lot Terry. Lot of good that did Nick.

Lark remembers the last time he had seen him. Nick had made him kneel.

Lark remembers thinking how kinky it was. Lark remembers chastising himself three seconds after that thought.

Nicky was there when Willy died, drowned in his own piss.

Nicky was there afterwards when the teens celebrated.

Nicky was there for Lark's first kiss. After all, he was the recipient.

Nick was there for Lark's first period. Nick had brought him pads. Nick explained how using tampons were scary, but it was ultimately up to Lark.

Nicholas was there for Lark's first period, too. Nicholas also brought him pads. Nicholas explained the dangers of tampons and why they shouldn't be used.

Nicky was there for Lark's surgeries. All of them. Top surgery. The hundreds of times he was too hurt for Sparrow's healing magic.

Nick was there for help with Lark's homework. He helped him realize that getting a B in a class wasn't the end of the world. They played Mario Kart.

Nicholas was there for help with Lark's homework, as well. He helped him realize how important studying was. They reread Lark's textbook

Nicky was there for Lark.

Nicky was there for Lark, and Lark was not there for him.

Lark's chest squeezes. He rolls over, shutting his eyes closed.

Even acid-trip pill-induced dreams (nightmares?) were better than this.

Chapter Text

lark wakes up. again.

this time it’s different. he knows it’s a dream.

he knows because nicky is there.

they look at him. nick, nicholas, nicky. they stare at him.

heyhihello, lark

they continue to stare.

they reach out a hand for him.

i don’t fucking forgive you
i miss you
i need more time to process

their hand is covered in scars.

his nails are painted
friendship bracelets line his arms
a watch from - - - - - encircles his wrist

lark reaches to meet him.

they shatter.

lark shatters too.

Chapter Text

lark wakes up.

is he dreaming? nah. it feels real enough.

he picks up his phone.

his wallpaper stares back at him.

it’s him and nick last christmas.

they made shitty box sugar cookies and predicted the plot of generic hallmark movies.

it’s taken right after nick successfully predicted the ending of one for the 8th time.

he’s beaming, and lark is staring at him.

his phone screen dims. nick fades.

Chapter Text

sometimes lark forgets. sometimes he doesn’t, and today he finally remembers.

he remembers a blunt, left in a mailbox with a promise to return.

he remembers the time he saw a cat flex its hind legs as it prepared to leap into the air and snatch up a sparrow.

he remembers a loved one grinning at him, catlike, as they prepared to prank his twin.

he remembers being shown a gun. he remembers whoever handed it to him frowning, which was odd, because they normally smiled.

he remembers blood. so much blood. blood everywhere.

Chapter Text

lark has a strange relationship with blood.

without blood, he would certainly die, a fact he remembers most prevalently when he is losing it.

his blood, of course. not his mind.

his knuckles covered in blood as he punches a tree, laughing along with his twin.

his forehead covered in blood from a head wound as he stares up at a massive tree that is supposed to be his grandfather, wondering if his twin is alive.

his hands covered in blood after he kills. and kills. and kills.

his eyes covered in blood as he witnesses - - - -.

- - - - covers him in his own blood, because he would dare to sit on - - - -‘s throne.

his hands covered in blood after he kills again. and again. and again.

his hands covered in metaphorical blood as he holds his newborn nephew in his arms.

his face covered in blood, and he doesn’t know if it’s from him or from his friend’s arm. he notices blood covering his friend holding the gun, and his friend grimaces.

his face covered in blood, and he doesn’t know if it’s from him or from his friend’s body. he notices blood covering his friend holding the gun, and his friend screams.

he’s always covered in blood.

it seems it can’t be washed off.

stuck under his nails, the creases of his palms (that apparently read that his life is long), the joints of his trigger finger, the thumbs with which he types and calls for help.

he’ll never get all the blood off. it’ll follow him forever.