Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a sweltering summer day and sitting in the tool shed leaning against a shed didn’t stop the sweat from beading down Ed’s back as he pulled his nearly shoulder length curls into a ponytail.

Sure sitting in a metal box in the middle of summer wasn’t ideal, but when you wanted to fuck around and smoke some weed with your good buddy Jack instead of doing whatever back breaking tasks his stepfather Captain Hornigold (what kind of dickhead insisted on being called captain?) could dream up or strong arm them into doing.

“Hornigold’s a fucking dick, how’s your arm by the way?” He murmured.

“Yeah. Don’t know why my mom ever married his ass, I saw his dick once and it’s not even big. You can be an asshole if you have a big dick, it’s science or whatever.” He paused to light the joint. “Arm’s fine by the way, not the first time he’s put out a cigar on it while I was passed out. He’s the one who’ll have to explain the black eye he has to all his war buddies.”

“Y’know, it makes sense that you think that. The first thing.” Ed chuckled. Jack had the biggest cock he had seen on a human that wasn’t in a porno, and he was at times the biggest asshole he knew too.

But Jack was never cruel. In fact he was big softie at heart, he just knew what showing it would get him and it wasn’t good. One person in particular he had a soft spot (or rather a hard on) for lately was Ed’s best friend and right hand man Izzy Hands.

“Where’s Iz anyway? Haven’t seen him all afternoon.” Ed asked as Jack passed the joint to him.

“Said he had an appointment. Just hope ole Horny’s asleep or at the bar when he gets back so he can smoke this, stop being such a tight ass and relax a little.”

“Thought you liked his tight ass.” Ed snickered at his own joke, causing him to choke on the smoke he was inhaling. Jack grinned a dopey grin, taking the joint back from Ed.

“Sure do, don’t gotta be jealous though Eddie yours is sweet too.” He chuckled.

Ed rolled his eyes.

“Well fucking duh, my ass is way better than Izzy’s but you’re so cockstruck by him that you don’t care his ass is flatter than a…flat something.”

Jack ashed the joint on the ground.

“Sure don’t! His tits more than make up for it, could make a home between those babi-“

“Should’ve fucking figured you two would be in here.” Izzy glowered. “Better put that shit out, the dumbass taxi driver decided to squeal his tires when he drove off. Heard him bitching that the fence wasn’t fixed yet and his boots hit the floor, so reckon you’ve got about two minutes.”

As he said that, the squeak of the back screen door could be heard following by it slamming against the frame.

“Want a hit before I put it out?” Jack offered, extending his hand out with the joint between his fingers.

“Fucking entitled burnouts, I take them in and they cant ever do one fucking task when asked.” Hornigold slurred to himself, still drunk from the night before as he headed towards the shed.

“No. Just hurry up before he stumbles in here.” Izzy said sharply. On the breath of the final e in his sentence, the shed door swung open and Hornigold locked eyes with Jack who still had the joint in hand. Without looking at the other two young men, all he spoke was three words:

“Edward, Israel, fence.”

In those three words he said so much more, he told them to get to work on the fence and to ignore any fighting they were about to hear; also that they better not try to play the hero and stick up for Jack. It was about a 50/50 shot whether they would actually comply, but they both had to cover for Jack when he came home piss drunk and high on God knows what in the middle of the day last time so they weren’t feeling so generous.

“You do left, I’ll do right?” Ed suggested. He had an ulterior motive in suggesting that; the neighbors on the left had nice pool, one of those inground ones with a tanning ledge. The chances were slim but maybe, just maybe, he could sneak over and take a dip. He’d rarely seen anyone home at that house, and sure as shit never heard anyone taking advantage of that pool.

He stepped up on crate and peered over, not expecting to find what he saw on the other side.

Chapter Text

On the tanning ledge he saw a young man sunbathing, presumably in his twenties like Ed himself, with short golden curls on the top of his head. He was laid out, his sky blue briefs the icing on the top of the cake that was his strong, gorgeous thighs.

Ed felt himself drooling, literally fucking drooling over this blonde stranger.

Mister tall, blonde, and handsome tilted his sunglasses downward and gave a small wave. Ed felt his throat go dry as he waved back, maybe a little too eager.

The blonde decided to sit up and make his way into the actual pool, swimming over to the edge closest to the fence.

“Hiya!” He greeted, eager in the way a golden retriever was eager to greet a new person.

“Hey-” Ed replied, hoping to sound cool and not at all nervous. This guy looked so soft and clean, like sunshine incarnate.

“You’re a dog Jack, a fucking mutt!
-“ Hornigold could be heard faintly behind Ed yelling, followed by some clattering.

“Sure fucking am! Gonna piss in your shoes old man!” Jack laughed. “You knew what you were getting into when you married my mom!”

Ed prayed to any higher being that was out there hoping that Stede didn’t hear them.

“-haven’t seen you ‘round here before.” He continued. A strand of his black hair fell out of his ponytail and began tickling his neck, so he decided to just take it all out of the bun. The blonde man briefly looked at him in awe before blushing and playing it off as if he was looking at a nearby object before turning his attention back to Ed.

“I’m new to the area! I work at a law firm and was recently transferred here, this is one of my bosses houses; he has so many! We pay rent to him, a far cheaper price than any dwelling in this city.” He explained.

Ed felt his heart sink a bit when he heard the word “we”. Of course the handsome stranger he was taken, probably even straight too.

“It’s not ideal living with two of my coworkers but they aren’t so bad, but look at me rambling on and I haven’t even formally introduced myself! How rude of me, I’m Stede Bonnet!” He continued on. Ed smiled.

“I’m Ed, Ed Teach. Nice to meet you Mr. Bonnet.”

Just as he parted his lips to speak again, Izzy looked Ed’s direction and let out a sharp whistle to alert him that Hornigold was coming.

“Fuck, gotta act busy. Nice talking!” Ed hopped off the crate and kicked it over. He walked a few paces over to the toolbox. Hornigold stormed out of the shed, dragging Jack out by his ear.

“Help the boys.” He snarled as Jack stumbled forward. “Fix the fence, then one of you needs to fix the kitchen sink. I’m going out.”

“What about dinner?” Ed piped up. Normally he wouldn’t say anything but Hornigold had promised he’d grill up some steaks.

“Whaderya, a baby?” Hornigold mocked. “Can’t use the big sharp knives and the hot oven to cook yourself a meal? Christ, there should be some chicken thawed out or something.”

And with that, he stomped off. Jacks eyes followed every footstep, his lips pursed in a look that was typical for Izzy but for Jack or Ed meant they were livid. They both knew Hornigold must’ve struck a nerve in there with something he said.

“We’ve still got a bottle stashed, may need to pop it in the freezer for a bit unless you want piss warm rum but we’ve got it.” Izzy said softly to him, his pinky brushing lightly against Jacks hand. Jack nodded and sulked off towards the fence to begin working on it.

After repairing the fence and fixing the sink, the boys were getting hungry so Ed decided to grab the chicken from the fridge. As he punctured the package open, a waft of a sour smell hit his nostrils and he violently retched.

Izzy looked up from the toolbox.

“Chicken bad?”

“Either that or it ripped ass.” Jack joked, running a hand through his sandy locks. Lately he was growing out his hair into a sort of mullet situation, it suited him.

“Glad to see you’re less pissy, but unless you want a green bean sandwich for dinner we’re fucked.” Ed replied, but Jacks smile only grew bigger.

“The safe has plenty of money,” he suggested with a wink. “Surely he won’t miss one little hundred dollar bill, maybe two.”

Izzy only scoffed. He wasn’t about to argue but he sure wasn’t going to act like he was complying with this plan so “Better hope he doesn’t count that money,” was all he said.

“Pssh, count? Doubt he can even fucking read.” Ed snickered. Izzy rolled his eyes and went to start Jacks truck because there was no sense in arguing, they were already halfway up the stairs.

Chapter Text

The lock on Hornigolds door was fairly easy for Ed to pick, there really wasn’t a lock he couldn’t get into. As the door slowly swung open he stepped in, Jack following suit with a smack to Ed’s ass.

“Good work hot stuff, leave this next part to me.” Jack insisted as he walked past, to the closet where the safe resided. He crouched down, pressing an ear to it as he slowly turned the dial. Before finishing the code he stood up and decided to just swiftly kick the corner of the safe with his boot.

“What the fuck?!” Ed exclaimed in shock. Jack laughed and crouched down again as the safe door creaked open.

“Didn’t hurt! Steel toed, baby!”

Inside sat bank envelopes upon bank envelopes, and a stack of hundreds.

“Jesus Christ, has to be thousands here. Couldn’t pay to fix the air con in the basement fixed, but he’s got this stowed away?” Izzy muttered to himself. “How long you figure he’s had all this?”

“Either years or about two nights.” Jack responded earnestly. He swiped a fist full of hundreds and in the same breath was pinned against the wall by Izzy.

“There has to be some blood flow going to your brain, it can’t all be in your cock all the time. We can’t take that much or he’ll have our fucking heads. He won’t miss out on one hundred though.” The shorter man snarled at Jack, who just smirked down at Izzy.

“Aww sugar tits, still thinking about my big ole dick?” He took Izzy’s hand and put it on the forming tent in his pants.

“Christ you two are sickening sometimes, give me the money if you’re gonna fuck. Wanna order a pizza or some shit for dinner?” Ed butted in.

“Fuck yeah,” Jack replied, craning his neck past Izzy’s head. “Get a pizza, and call Anne and Mary and see if they’ll pick up a bottle if we smoke with them.”

“If I call Anne or Mary, the only thing we’re getting is a big fuck off. I’ll order the pizza, you call. Anne’s your fucking girlfriend anyhow.” Ed told him as he snatched the hundred away. “I’m ordering wings too, half hot half naked because we don’t want you shitting your brains out Iz.”

“Thanks.” Izzy said flatly as Jack laughed.

Two large pizzas, wings, cheap booze, and an array of drugs at their disposal; the boys spent their evening with Anne Bonny. A year older than Jack, she was a former high school prom queen who had a thing for burnouts and bad decisions.

Ed leaned his head back as Anne began to brush his hair back.

“God, your hair is soo soft what do you use on it?” She drawled, whatever she had taken with Jack beginning to kick in.

“Shampoo, same kind Jack and Iz use.” He replied, he had never actually read the label before he had just always called it the green lid shampoo. He suddenly felt her breath against his ear as she leaned down and giggled before going back to brushing.

“No shit, really? You’re lucky, I have to use like a billion products or my hair is a dry rats nest. God, pretty hair and a pretty face too; why did we ever break up again?” She murmured as she braided his hair. Ed rolled his eyes.

“Because you said Jacks name during sex with me, and even though I stayed with you I still found you in the shower with him like two days later.” He dead panned. Anne tied the final hair tie then walked to face him.

“Do you ever miss me? I mean us.” She asked as she straddled his lap. Looking down wasn’t an option for Ed, for if he did his face would be in-between her tits.

“Anne-“ he started, his train of thought briefly derailed as he felt her grind against his cock. “You and Jack are dating now.”

She let out a soft whine.

“I doubt we are anymore, pretty sure he’s in the house ass deep in Izzy. Don’t even know why he’d rather fuck that little freak than me, but you can show me a good time right Eddie?”

On one hand, Anne had been Ed’s best girl friend turned girlfriend and his competitive side mixed with the liquor was feeling keen on taking her up on the offer. However, if he was being honest with himself he knew that was a shit idea that would lead to months of trouble.

“Anne, I’m sure they’re not fucking. I know Iz and I know Jack, have you ever met two people more opposite? I mean Jack’s like a puppy, Izzy’s more an old cat; and cats and dogs can’t even fuck so.”

It wasn’t his most airtight logic, in fact it made no sense, but it was convincing enough for Anne. She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder, the slight breeze blowing her brunette locks in his face.

“Thank you Eddie, you always know what to say.” She leaned her head up and planted a kiss on his nose before standing up and heading in to find her boyfriend.

Ed grabbed the bottle from the ground and took a few good gulps before hearing a blood curdling scream come from Anne in the house. Seconds later she came running out the door, Jack soon following behind in only his boxers. Ed took another swig as he noted the hickey on Jacks chest.

Anne turned on her heel to face Jack, taking off one of her wedges and whipping it at him before taking the other and tossing it at Ed’s leg.

“What did I do?!” Ed shouted, nearly dropping the bottle.

“Oh no way that Jack is fucking Izzy right?! Guess I should’ve specified that also meant the other way ‘round you fucking dick!” She informed him loudly, turning once again to Jack.

With Anne’s eye line meeting up with his chin, that made her the perfect height to knee him in the groin.

“Have fun tryna get it up for him now!” She laughed. Though Jack was doubled over in pain, he still began to laugh like a hyena.

“Anney, babe, you should know I’ve got a dick of steel. Plus why are you so pissed about it? I didn’t yell at you when I caught you face deep in Mary’s pussy the other day! I thought it was hot remember?”

Anne glowered and Ed couldn’t help but laugh.

“‘m not laughing at you Anne.” He prefaced. “Jack, of fucking course you thought it was hot. You could get off to paint drying. Would you like it if you caught her with a guy?”

Jack shrugged.

“I mean it was hot when you two were together.”

For that crass (albeit honest) answer; Ed took a swig, sat down the bottle, and decked Jack in the face. The sandy locks of his mullet flew back as he hit the pavement, blood running into his mustache. Anne seemed satisfied with that, so she turned around and began to walk away.

“By the way Jack, we’re over! Get rid of our sex tape you have on that shit box of a laptop.”

“The oral or the creampie?” Jack laughed. Anne stopped for a moment, as if in thought.

“The creampie fuckwad, I guess you can keep the oral.” She responded before leaving the backyard. Ed glared at Jack, and their eyes met.

“Come on Eddie, you can’t still be pissy abo-“

“Jack, just shut up man. Where’s our weed?”

The three men, more so Jack and Ed, would pool their money together to buy a bigger amount of weed than they could each individually afford.

“Most in the house, there’s maybe an eighth in the shed. But I was savi-“ before Jack could finish letting the words pass over his mustached lips, Ed was already halfway to the shed.

He hoped that Jack knew better than to follow him, but he knew that in reality Jack was still fucked up and would just autopilot his way back to Izzy so it didn’t matter.

After loading a bowl, Ed sat in the grass with his back against the fence and took a hit. He watched as the smoke danced through the light breeze. The next hit was larger than intended, and he coughed on the exhale.

Suddenly a halo of golden hair appeared over the fence.

“Oh Jesus fuck!” Ed exclaimed.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!” Stede apologized, and Ed let out a sigh of relief.

“I had heard some commotion over here, and I wanted to make sure you were ok.” The blonde continued. “Wanted to see if maybe you wanted to come over and talk? My roommates aren’t home so it’ll be private.”

Ed considered the offer. A pretty man was inviting him over? Usually that meant a hookup, which he wasn’t feeling entirely up for but he could find the motivation.

“Uh sure,” he responded, hoping he seemed nonchalant. “I was kinda trying to smoke though so it cool with you if I bring some over? I’ll share of course, ‘m not a dick. Dunno if you even smoke though.”

Stede let a small smile come across his face.

“I do smoke, though not often. I didn’t have anything planned tonight besides reading a bit then maybe watching a bit of tv before bed, this would be much more enjoyable!” He sounded downright excited and Ed didn’t know the last time, if ever, someone was excited to spend time with him.

Rather than taking the proper way to the backyard, Ed took it upon himself to hop the fence.

“Hold this, wouldn’t want it to go flying.” He chuckled, handing Stede the mason jar with the weed and a lighter. The blonde watched as Ed climbed over. For a brief moment Ed took a breath as he swung his right leg over, and Stede marveled at the way his full wavy locks looked in the moonlight.

Chapter Text

The blonde led his guest over to a small patio table.

“I have some rose wraps in my house, they aren’t real roses but they’re pink and have rose essence or something. My roommate almost exclusively uses them, so he gave me a pack. Haven’t had a chance to use them yet myself though! I can grab them if you’d like,” Stede offered.

“Rose essence? You’re fucking mad mate. I’d love to.” Ed replied with enthusiasm. Stede clasped his hands together with excitement before heading in the house.

Ed looked over at the other property, hoping that there wasn’t an off chance of Hornigold coming home early; because judging by the shadows he could faintly see illuminated through the curtain of the room they were in, they’d be toast if he did.

To the long haired man’s suprise, when Stede came back out not only did he have the wrap but it was already rolled. Stede handed it over to the other man.

Ed marveled at the craftsmanship.

“This is some excellent work, you do this yourself?"

Stede chuckled sheepishly.

"My father had a friend when I was a boy that had me hand roll his cigarettes, said small hands worked the best, guess it's just muscle memory at this point.”

“Dads can be such dicks can't they?"

“Agreed," Stede took Ed's lighter and lit it.
"To dads being dicks, and more importantly, to meeting you Ed!"

The long haired man grinned.

"Feeling's mutual, Stede Bonnet."

As they smoked, they talked about anything and everything and laughed about it all. Stede was odd but so sincere, which was refreshing for Ed. The temperature fell as they sat outside, so they took their conversation into the house. Ed took a seat on the couch as Stede got nimself a glass of water.

"Would you like a drink?" the blonde called out from the kitchen.

Nah, i'm good. This couch is the softest fucking piece of furniture-" Ed yawned. "Could pass out right here,"

The golden haired man walked back into the living room.

“If your home is too tense of a space right now, you’re more than welcome to spend the night. I will warn you, I have been told I snore a bit.”

Ed yawned.

“I couldn’t do that- ah fuck it, probably wouldn’t get any sleep at home with Jack all riled up. Probably has Iz all tied up and shit, or he has Jack ass up and I don’t need to see that shit again.” He rambled as Stede grabbed him a larger throw pillow and a blanket.

“I do apologize, I should’ve warned it’s somewhat of a heavier indica.” Stede murmured as Ed laid down and stretched, and the blonde tried not to let his eyes linger on the patch of tan stomach exposed.

“Nah ‘s okay mate, just been a long day and it’s been awhile since I’ve had some premium shit like that-“ he let out a large yawn. “-Jack can get some good shit, but not like that.”

Ed’s eyelids became heavier, his blinks becoming slower until he was soon asleep.

Stede walked over to the lightswitch, briefly turning to look at Ed’s sleeping form and smiling before flicking the lights off and heading to his bed.

“He’s been here since I got home from work.” a male voice with a lisp said.

“Well that’s new, don’t figure they fucked because he’s on the couch and Stede was in his bed last night alone.” A younger male with an English accent responded, he seemed a bit bored.

“Yeah, unless they did it on the couch.” The older man responded. The younger one made a gagging sound.

“Please don’t make me imagine that babe. I watch my trashy television on this couch.”

Ed opened his eyes to find the two men leering over the couch. One was a man about Ed’s age, bald and currently shirtless; his chest covered with a moderate amount of blonde hairs and love bites of various shades. The second looked to be a few years younger, with a brunette mop on his head and a pink fuzzy robe on.

Though Ed didn’t know these people, he still felt the need to speak up when he saw the sizable diamond on the younger man’s finger.

“Playing dress up or something?”

The two men furrowed their brow.

“It speaks, which is reassuring I suppose. But what are you talking about?”

“Talking about that rock on your finger.” Ed sat up and shook his head.

To that, the younger male looked to the older and grinned.

“Oh this? My ruggedly handsome fiancé here got it for me.” The brunette giggled.

“Fiancé?” Ed was bewildered. “Are you not like sixteen?”

That earned him a bark of a laugh from the bald man, and a glare from the brunette.

“I’m actually nineteen if you’re so damn nosy. Nineteen, engaged, and on the payroll at a law firm. Whereas you’re like, what? thirty? and clearly living an enriching life seeing how you’re on our couch.”

Ed sat up, brushing a curl from his face before he stood to face the two.

“Ex-fucking-scuse me I’m twenty three, and as far as I’m concerned as long as you still have teen in your age you’re still a punk ass little kid.”

The bald man leaned to his fiancé to mumble.

“Babe, he’s actually a year younger than me. Do I look thirty?”

The brunette pressed a kiss to the other man’s cheek.

“No, no Pete babe you’re looking so youthful for twenty four, especially since you got that sexy new tattoo.” He ran a finger up the other man’s arm as he whispered. “How about we go take a shower and you can show me that new tattoo?”

The man, that was now identified as Pete, nodded his head quickly and practically ran down a short hallway before heading down a longer hallway. The younger man chuckled.

“Stede should be back any minute, don’t know why he’s been gone an hour to get milk and eggs, probably befriended a bird or got in a debate about soup versus bisque.” He stated before he followed his fiancé down the hall.

Any minute was actually twelve (but felt like days), and Ed suffered through hearing the couple hearing incredibly vocal shower sex (he was certain they were doing it on purpose). He could’ve left at any point, but he was eager to see Stede. Just as he was about to give up hope, the blonde man walked through the door.

“Pete? Lucius?” He whispered into the living room. “Can one of you help me bring in some bags?”

As he took another step in, he crinkled his nose up at the sounds he was hearing, then frantically looked over to see Ed was in fact awake.

“Oh my god I am so sorry! I swear I don’t understand how Lucius can-“

“Be such a dick?” Ed suggested. Stede’s cheeks turned pink, embarrassed that his roommate was potentially ruining his chance at…well he wasn’t quite sure.

“I was going to say be so inconsiderate, but that works just as well. Glad to see him and Pete are speaking this morning,” Stede said sheepishly, attempting to put a positive spin on the situation.

“Doing more than talking, sounds like.” Ed quipped, nearly perfectly followed up by Lucius crying out

“Oh fuck yes Pete, right there babe don’t stop! Babe yes!”

Stede hung his head in shame for a moment then looked up at Ed and offered a smile.

“Perhaps, if you can suffer through a few more minutes of that and then whatever White Stripes Pete or dance pop Lucius puts on while they get dressed, we could have breakfast? We tend to order out, busy nights and all, so I bought some ingredients! I bought eggs, bacon, sausage if you don’t like bacon, turkey bacon if you don’t eat pork, plant based sausage if you’re vegan…oh god I’m rambling aren’t I?”

Ed couldn’t help but grin, this guy was a fucking weirdo but definitely cute.

“First off, I’d love to mate. Second off, plant sausage? That sounds awful.” He laughed. “How do you even do that?”

Stede smiled.

“It’s actually not half bad, we tried it one night, our boss gave it to us in a big ‘save the animals!’ initiative. When he asked us if we wanted more, I politely declined. Nothing beats the taste of real meat in your mouth!”

Ed nearly choked on his own spit, which made the blonde raise an eyebrow then widen his eyes.

“Oh you’re probably parched, highly unlikely that Lucius or Pete offered you a drink. We have water, orange juice, uhh I think we might have a bottle of champagne, oh and we have fizzy flavored water but those are Lucius’. I think they’re nasty personally anyway. Oh we have coffee also!” Stede offered. The long haired one took a few slow blinks.

“I’ll take a coffee and I’ll even help you cook, Jack says I cook the best eggs and bacon.” Ed beamed. Stede looked a bit put down by that offer.

“Jack? Is that your boyfriend?” He inquired. Ed let out a loud laugh, which made Stede blush.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to assume-“

Ed shook his head.

“No, no. Jack and I might’ve fooled around once or twice, but he’s more like a dumb older brother. Plus Izzy would be likely to gut me if I tried to dip my toe into that pond.”

Stede let out a small sigh of relief.

“Oh I see, a possessive lover.”

Ed snorted.

“I guess you could call them lovers, that’s the poetic way of putting it. ‘Cept neither one of them would admit it, because both would rather headbutt a concrete wall than ever admit any feelings.”

The blonde nodded once again.

“Ah, I see. Well, breakfast won’t cook itself!”

Chapter Text

The two had eggs, bacon, sausage (even plant sausage) cooking and a pot of coffee brewing when Lucius and Pete rolled back into the kitchen.

“Spare a cup?” Lucius asked. Stede nodded.

“Oh bless,” the younger man thanked as he poured himself some coffee in a mug that read this cup isn’t the only thing getting filled in sparkly blue text.

“Want some?” Stede offered to Pete, to which the bald man declined.

“Lulu and I will share, I only want like two or three sips. Coffee fucks my stomach up if I have too much.”

“Well we have plenty of bacon and sausage and that plant based sausage, you’ll have to cook your own eggs though. My new pal Ed and I will be having breakfast by the pool. Ed, plates are in that cabinet.” Stede informed.

Ed and Stede took their plates and headed out to the patio.

“Y’know, we used to sneak onto this property and use the empty pool as a place to get wasted. But Jack got blackout and passed out there, cops found him. Fuckers said he was trespassing, he sure didn’t help when he was still drunk and pissed on the cops shoe.”

Stede took a bite of his eggs.

“Jack seems like a colorful fellow.” He stated. Ed chuckled through his bite of his food.

“That’s for sure, he’s a dickhead but he wouldn’t be the guy I’ve known for years. Honestly, only ever know something’s wrong with him when he’s not being a dick. Izzy though? His default setting is prick and only gets worse when he’s in a bad mood.”

Stede looked up at the other man with his blue eyes.

“I don’t mean to impede on your personal life, but why do you stay with them? No offense to them but they sound…less than ideal.” He inquired.

Ed sighed, looking at the fence and thinking about what awaited on the other side.

“It’s complicated, call it trauma bonding i guess? Iz and I were friends first, thick as thieves. He’s basically my brother, his dad took me into his custody when my ma ran off. We started getting into trouble, for the hell of it yknow? Started running into Jack, wasn’t any good for breaking into a house quietly but damn he could find some drugs damn good at selling them too.” He chuckled as he took another bite and swallowed it.

“Well we all kept getting locked up and I guess ole Hornigold was Iz’s dads superior officer in the war or some shit and he begged him to take us in before ‘we end up in prison or dead in a ditch’ so dickface gets to fuck around and beat on us for the sake of our ‘betterment’. But jokes on him, he’s an old drunk and Jack might be a drunk, but he’s like a new drunk yknow? More…spry or whatever the word is.”

Stede didn’t feel he should poke the bear and pry about this Hornigold fellow was, so he gave a sympathetic nod.

“Well, if you ever need a sympathetic ear I’m your man!” The blonde gazed at the man in front of him. Long black hair with a small streak of grey gently tousled from sleep, the way his snake tattoo wrapped up his tan muscled forearm, the way his big brown eyes sparkled as he smiled at him.

Ed licked some hot sauce from his eggs off his lips and Stede felt a stirring in his core. As he went to speak, a mustached head popped up from the other side of the fence.

“Oh thank fuck, thought I had heard you a minute ago.” Jack said, his voice filled with panic. “Come help me kick ole Horni’s ass before Izzy fucking loses consciousness.”

Something darkened in Ed’s eyes and he mumbled an apology to Stede before running back home.

“What fucking happened?” He inquired as he followed Jack through the yard.

“He found out about the money, came tearing through the fucking bedroom looking for it.” Jack explained.

“Oh shit, were you and Iz still?” Ed trailed off as they walked inside.

“All I’ve ever done is give to you boys, and this is how you repay me?!” Hornigolds voice boomed through the house.

“No, thank Christ. I guess Iz had gotten up to piss or something, came into it. I woke up to Iz being slammed into the door and getting fucking frisked.”

“You’re a pathetic old fucker! You’d be a fucking mess if we left you!” Izzy could be heard, choking his words out.

“Damn it Hands, can’t help but talk back when getting choked out.” Jack thought out loud as they ran upstairs.

“Keep your guys weird sex life to yourself-“ Ed stepped through the door to find the room a mess. Each knocked over object told a story of the struggle that went on, sand from a glass bottle of Ed’s trailing over to Hornigold, who had Izzy pinned against the floor.

“Get your hands off him!” He shouted, running over to Hornigold and throwing him off Izzy. As the younger man caught his breath, Hornigold rolled to his back and swept Ed’s leg as he took a step and sent him tumbling into the closet door frame.

“For what fucking reason?!” Ed groaned as he checked if his nose was broken, luckily it wasn’t.

“Ungrateful thieves! I take you in and all you do is whore around and steal my shit!” The older man ranted as he stood up. “You think you’re so fucking tough? You’re nothing, I own you.”

“Hey!” Jack spoke up. “You want someone to bitch at? It’s me. I stole the money because YOU left us meat that smelled like shit while you and your old war buddies went at the bar to suck each other off.”

Hornigold fell silent and the boys could practically feel the anger buzzing around him. He looked at a hole in his sock as he began to speak lowly.

“Israel, Edward. If you value your skin, leave this property now.”

The room felt heavy as he spoke, his words ice cold. Neither of the young men knew better than to speak up, especially because it looked as though Jacks lips were about to part to speak. As the two headed out of the room, the phtoo of spit leaving Jacks mouth and hitting Hornigold.

“Fucking knees to chest it, Iz.” Ed muttered as he made his way past Izzy, down the stairs, through the living room, and out of the house. Izzy was out seconds later with the keys to Hornigolds truck.

“You want the keys?” The shorter man offered. “Or would you rather stay nearby?”

The words just in case went unspoken. Ed figured he could just go next door, best case scenario Stede would let him hang out and worst case he just snuck onto their own property and hung out in the shed.

“I’ll stay, you go get some air mate.”

Izzy didn’t bother arguing, he just nodded and got into the truck.

“What time are you coming back?” Ed asked as Izzy started up the vehicle.

“Dunno, I might run by the bar and see if Fang is working. Maybe see if he can convince Captain Twat to come to the bar.”

“Sounds like a plan,”

Ed waited until Izzy drove away to walk next door.

Chapter Text

“So that guy that was here earlier? Did you two…you know?” Lucius could be heard inside. There was a clink, presumably a mug being sat on the counter a bit too hard.

“Oh for god’s sake Lucius, is sex all you think about? Surely nineteen year olds have something else to occupy their mind.”

“Okaaay bitchy, so that’s a no. Why not though?”

Ed knew he should’ve either walked away, or knock on the door; yet he stood and listened.

“Well if you must know-“

“I must.”

“-as ruggedly handsome as he was, with those toned arms and long hair and tattoos-“

“Ok drooling much?”

“-I am not! Do you want to know or not?” Stede huffed. “Anyways, I literally had just met him. We smoked together and then he fell asleep on the couch, what would I have even done? Invited him to my bed?”

“…no offense Stede but it’s truly astonishing how dense you are sometimes. But I don’t have time to walk you through why that is, Pete’s parents invited us to dinner so we need to get ready. All I’ll say is opportunities like this don’t fall into your lap daily.”

Once Ed hear footsteps go down the hall, he decided to knock. Before he could second guess himself, Stede was opening the door.

“Oh hello again!” The blonde greeted, a tinge of blush on his cheeks.

“Hey, I came by to say thanks and everything for last night, and sorry for having to run off earlier…And wanted to see if maybe you wanted to do something, n-not in a weird way of course. Unless you wanna do something weird, I’m down for whatever.” Ed could hear himself rambling but had no way to stop it.

Stede let out a tiny giggle.

“I’d love to! Lucius and Pete are about to head off to a dinner, fancy a dip in the pool? I’m sure between the three of us, we surely have something you could wear! Ooh! And then I could order us some pizza and wings from that place you were saying you liked, I’ve never tried it before!”

Ed’s mind went back to the swim briefs Stede had worn before and he felt a stirring in his core.

“Sounds great!” He responded.

Everything was coming up Ed. He was getting to spend time with Stede while keeping an eye and ear on the house, plus the additional bonus of getting to see Stede in his swim briefs AND free dinner from his favorite restaurant?

Ed was practically in heaven.

Opting for a pair of Pete’s swim trunks that were florescent green with tiny purple octopi.

“These are kinda sick mate, think he’d mind if they went missing?” He asked, half joking as he joined Stede in the pool.

“I doubt he’d mind, I don’t think I’ve even seen him wear that pair since…to be honest im not sure I’ve ever seen him wear them I just know they certainly aren’t Lucius’s. He wouldn’t be caught dead in such a thing.” Stede chuckled in response.

“Not to be a dick but, why is that kid such a complete and utter arsehole? I mean I know I’m not one to talk but he seems like he doesn’t give you any respect.”

The blonde shrugged.

“I suppose everyone has their own advantages in life. Lucius is very goal oriented I will say, he will get what he wants in the long run if he wants it enough. Most things he hasn’t had to try incredibly hard to achieve, or so I’ve gathered. He’s good at getting his way.”

After explaining, Stede took a plunge into the water and began to swim around. Ed watched the figure underneath the water, his toned legs and orange briefs reminded him a bit of a merman. Though Ed hadn’t swam since he was a kid, he figured it was like riding a bike and that he could do it again.

The young men swam around the pool for a little while, each lost in their own thoughts until Stede brushed against Ed; and Ed wasn’t sure if was wishful thinking, but he swore he felt the golden haired man’s stiff cock momentarily pressing against him.

The long haired man was first to come up for air, Stede following suit.

“You looked like a merman.” Ed blurted out. “With your legs all like that, and your orange briefs.”

Stede’s cheeks tinged with a blush.

“Oh, well no one has ever said anything like that to me, thank you.”

Ed took a step forward. The shy card was not one he played often, so he decided to let his hand float with the water gently across Stede’s (now blatant) erection.

Not saying a single word, Ed looked into Stede’s eyes. Watching as the polite admiration in his eyes turned to hunger, Ed fluttered his lashes and nodded once slowly before Stede’s lips were on his.

Somehow, the two managed to get inside, undressed, and in Stede’s bed without being relatively unattached from one another.

“Quick, under the covers.” Stede stated breathlessly, throwing back a plush mint green comforter and matching blanket. He threw the bedding over Ed as his body made contact with the bed.

“You poor dear, you’re freezing. May i warm you?” He inquired. “With my mouth?”

Ed grinned.

“I’d love that.”

Stede made his way beneath the comforter and Ed smiled as he saw the halo of golden hair between his thighs. He pressed his lips to Ed’s erection, sliding them down with ease until he reached the back of Stede Bonnet’s throat.

“Oh fuck that’s so fucking hot.” Ed groaned, Stede still managed a pleased smile with a cock down his throat. He kept at a steady pace, drool running down his chin as he diligently worked his mouth on Ed’s cock.

Stede ran a hand up Ed’s thigh as he sucked, before gliding a few fingers to tease the long haired man’s balls.

“STEDE!” Ed practically mewled before he began to chuckle breathlessly. “Gonna make me shoot off with no warning if you keep doing shit like that.”

Stede took that invitation and ran with it, playing with Ed’s balls in tandem with swallowing down his cock.

Ed whimpered and whined as the blonde pleasured him, and it wasn’t long before he was cumming. He hadn’t even had the time to warn Stede.

“Ohh fuck mate, that was just too good.” He half apologized. The blonde snaked up from under the covers beside Ed.

“I’m so glad to hear! I must admit I was nervous my skills had gotten a bit rusty, it has been awhile after all…but it was good for me too!”

Without discussion, and letting nature take its course, Stede ended up laid against Ed while the man fidgeted with Stede’s locks.

“Thank you Stede,” Ed mumbled. Stede looked up, his eyes glazed.

“Hmm?” He inquired, blinking a few big, slow blinks.

“Huh? What? Nothing.” Ed responded quickly, Stede nodded slowly and snuggled into the warmth of Ed’s side. His breathing slowed and within a minute, the man at Ed’s side was asleep.

Ed debated staying in that moment, laid warm beside Stede. But he wasn’t even what time it was, to be honest he had completely forgotten about Jack and Izzy and all the problems at home.

With the moon lighting the room, he silently got dressed. Before sneaking out, he took one last look at Stede’s gentle sleeping form.

The cooler temperature and the still damp hair brought a chill to Ed’s skin as he walked down the sidewalk and through the backyard to the house. Unsure if the door was unlocked, Ed opted to sneak in via the dining room window and pray Hornigold wasn’t still home.

Luck was in his favor, which meant he could sneak into his and Izzy’s bedroom without repercussions. As he stepped into the room and flicked on the light, he wasn’t met with Izzy bitching at him to shut them off; rather the room to himself. He turned the light back off then went and flopped into bed.

Rolling over, his head laid against the thin wall connecting to Jack’s room, he could hear that Izzy was in fact in there with Jack.

“You’re an absolute twat you know that, Jack?”

“Yeah, I’ve heard ya say that a time or six. But ole Jackie’s kinda cute dontcha think?”

“Never call yourself that again, now do you want me to suck your cock or not?”

“Uh, does a bear shit in the woods?”

There was a brief moment of silence, and he knew across that wall Izzy was glaring at Jack hard for trying to be funny.

Ed knocked three times on the wall. “If you two plan on fucking tonight, turn on some music or some shit. I’m going to bed.”

“Give you a shout out when I cum? Got it Eddie!” Jack replied. Ed rolled his eyes, but he was a little glad to hear that Jack was in a good mood.

“I will kill the mood so quick! Play that one song that makes you cry like a little bitch!” He threatened jokingly, which earned a chuckle from Izzy which was cut off by some breathy sound.

“Captain Fuckface is going to be out of town for a few nights by the way, fishing trip or something.” He informed through the wall.

A pang of sadness hit Ed’s stomach, there was no reason to run home; he could’ve stayed there with Stede. A part of him considered sneaking back into the house.

No, bad idea, Stede seemed the type to call the cops and Ed didn’t need another breaking and entering charge.

Miraculously, Ed managed to sleep through whatever fuck fest Jack and Izzy were having in the next room. When he woke up, he could smell bacon frying downstairs and could faintly hear a conversation going on.

Sluggishly slipping a pair of sweats and an old high school automotive club shirt, he made his way into the hallway.

“Thank fuck you’re finally up, there’s been some pompous twat downstairs for twenty minutes chattering on. Says he wanted to make sure you were ok, Jack decided to let him in.” Izzy muttered. Ed’s eyes flew open.

“Why would he let him in?!” He exclaimed. Izzy rubbed his eyes.

“It might’ve been the three Irish coffees he slammed back, or it might’ve been the way the guy got all flustered when Jack suggested he was your new boytoy.” The shorter man explained.

“Not entirely my problem, though is it?” Izzy continued to snark. “Go figure it out your fucking self.”

Chapter Text

Before Izzy could say another word, Ed ran downstairs to find Jack leaning on the kitchen island while Stede sat with an uncomfortable look on his face.

“I’m tellin’ ya Steve, it was nastiest cut I’ve gotten!” Jack laughed before taking another swig from his cup.

“Actually, again, it’s Stede- oh good morning Ed!” Stede greeted, beaming at the sight of Ed’s face. Jacks eyes flickered between the other two men’s smiles.

“Sooo, Steve-“

“Stede-“

“-that’s what I said. Anyways, did I ever tell you about that time Eddie and I broke into this old broads house? Nice ass house, her medicine cabinet was looaddeedd too. Pills were always more of Eddies thing but damn! she had some strong shit. So after we raided the cabinet and helped ourselves to some, ah shit what the hell was it?”

Jack paused to look at Ed for an answer, but Ed was trying his best not to see the shocked expression Stede was trying to keep off his face.

“Apple juice…” Ed mumbled, knowing Jack would’ve kept asking had he not replied.

Jack let out a roar of a laugh.

“Oh yeah! These dinky ass juice boxes, probably for her grandkid or some shit. Anyways, that many uppers got me rock hard and me and Eddie fucked for hours until the cops showed up.”

Had Izzy not stepped into the room at that exact moment, Ed would have lunged across the room and proceeded to receive an assault and battery charge.

“Fucking Christ Jack you’re insufferable you know that, right?” The shorter man sighed as he made his way to the coffee maker and poured himself a cup. “I would like one damn day of peace and I will make this crystal fucking clear now, no one is getting in my way of that: not a drunk dickhead, not some blonde ponce I don’t know, and I don’t know what you’re> thinking of pulling today but just don’t.”

With his warning in the air, Izzy made himself a plate of breakfast then headed upstairs. Like a lost puppy, Jack quickly piled some bacon on a plate then followed after Izzy.

Stede blinked a few times, thinking about what to say.

“I’m sorry.” Ed mumbled. The blonde looked at him quizzically.

“Why?”

Ed could feel his chest tightening, the tears welling up in his eyes. He rarely cried in front of people, he was taught crying showed weakness, but his feelings were overwhelming him and he couldn’t contain them.

“Because my life is a fucking wreck and yours is so cool and put together!” He wailed, falling to his knees. He was surprised when Stede began to laugh, and not a laugh of pity but a genuine laugh.

“My life? Cool and put together? I’m a twenty two year old divorcee, stuck at a job I don’t even like! My life is so god forsaken boring, you are the first cool thing that has ever been in my life. With your leathers and tattoos and all that.”

When Ed looked up, he found Stede was sitting on his knees beside him.

“Everyone has their struggles, it’s okay.”

He reached out to touch the others man hand.

“You are a beautiful man Edward, no one has a perfect life but the little time I’ve spent with you has been some of the best of mine.”

Ed grinned at Stede, gave him a knowing nod of the head, and within a breath the two men were on the intertwined on the kitchen floor.

“That is the nicest fucking thing anyone has ever said to me. Kind, handsome, and you have a huge cock? You’re a triple fucking threat mate.” He grinned as he pressed kisses to Stede’s face. Stede leaned his head back and giggled as Ed kissed down his neck and his clothed chest.

He ran his hand down Stede’s hardening length and up and under the blonde’s shirt. Ed watched as the other man’s eyes fluttered towards the stairs briefly, then back to him. A wicked grin came onto Ed’s face.

“Ever been fucked against a kitchen counter?”

“A bathroom counter yes, but not a kitchen.” Stede replied matter of factly, followed by an immediate giggle. “I’m just joking, I’ve never. I’d be honored.”

Ed grinned as he stood up and reached in a cabinet, unearthing a small bottle of lube.

“Nicked this from the store one day then threw it in here so old man Horni didn’t know I had swiped it while we were getting groceries. Dumb luck that it’s still here.”

Stede rose as well, standing before Ed and pulling his shorts and boxers to his ankles; displaying his pert ass.

“I’d call it fate.” He giggled as he widened his stance, bending over the cool laminate of the counter.

The long haired man shed his sweatpants, his cock twitching against the kitchen air. Cracking open the bottle of lube and spreading a bit on his hard cock and slowly pushing two fingers in Stede’s tight hole.

“W-What if ahh one of them come downstairs?”

Ed laughed darkly as he removed his shirt.

“Well then they’ll get a show, lucky them.”

He plunged his fingers in and out, curling them just enough that when he moved it made Stede’s pink cock leak. Removing his fingers and replacing them with the tip of his own cock, Ed gazed at the back of Stede’s head in adoration as he plunged in.

“Ohh Ed, you feel so good inside me,” Stede moaned as the long haired man thrusted his hips.

“Yeah?” Ed breathed.

“Yeah,” Stede giggled, breathless. “You’re so big and you feel so wonderful.”

Ed gripped Stede’s hips, his thumbs digging into the pale flesh.

“You’re so fucking tight mate, so nice.”

Ed’s breath came in ragged pants as he fought to pace himself, dancing a fine line between being caught up in the heat of Stede’s body like an animal and wanting to treat such a gorgeous being with tender intimacy.

“Oh Ed!” Stede squeaked as quietly as he could manage, not wanting to raise the suspicion of anyone upstairs. “I want all of you.”

Taking that as encouragement, Ed quickened his pace; diving in deeper to stake his claim. He quickened his pace as Stede gripped onto the counter, his sweat slicked skin not giving him much tension against the counter. As he chased his orgasm, he felt his will to hold on wavering.

“Fuck Stede, not gonna last long, you’re so fucking hot. Where do you want it?” Ed growled.

“Wanna taste you.” Stede managed to slur, drunk on lust. Ed let out a wanting groan, continuing to bury his cock in and out of Stede’s pink little hole.

It was almost as if Stede and Ed were made for one another, because before Ed could tell the other man to get ready, as soon as Ed’s knee twitched ever so slightly Stede was at position; on his knees, tongue lax, like he was waiting for a reward.

Experimentally, Stede took the head of Ed’s aching cock into his mouth. He could feel the warmth and if he tried, he could’ve felt the excitement coursing through Ed’s veins and subsequently his cock.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck gonna cum. Shit you’re so fucking hot.” Ed babbled, spilling down Stede’s throat.

Like a true gentleman, Stede swallowed the cum before standing up and dusting off his knees; all the while smiling at Ed with adoration.

“Wow.” Stede beamed.

“Like awesome sex wow, or what the fuck was that wow?” Ed questioned, shimmying his pants back on.

“The awesome sex one, that was truly amazing.” Stede giggled. The longer haired male was going to reply with a quip, but the blondes cell phone began to ring. He quickly answered it with a concerned look on his face.

“Hello sir! Yes I filed those away yest- oh the Barbados account, you don’t have those? Of course sir, I will be right up there to rectify the situation. Thank y-“ “Oh ok.”

Stede turned his attention back to Ed.

“I apparently forgot to do something before I left the office, so I should probably head out before traffic gets awful.”

He managed to steal a peck on the cheek before he left.

Chapter Text

With Stede now gone and sweat soaked hairs sticking to the back of his neck, Ed went to grab a towel to head to the shower. He made his way to their tiny bathroom, where Jack was putting hanging a shower curtain.

“Finally fixed that shower rod, maybe this one will be sturdy enough to do a pull-up.” He chuckled.

“Jack-“ Ed started plainly. “No fucking shower rod is going to be able to hold your ass. Also, what was all that shit downstairs? It was like you were trying to scare Stede off or some shit.”

Jack sat the screwdriver on the sink and ran his fingers through his greasy locks.

“Well did it work?”

“What?” Ed asked.

“Did it work? Did I scare that prissy fucker away?” He started to walk out of the bathroom, but stopped in the doorway. “Don’t give me those eyes Ed, he’s just some fancy blonde toy you’d get bored with in like a month.”

Ed scoffed.

“Sounds like you and Izzy have clearly had a lot of discussion about my life recently. Is that foreplay for you guys, talking about me?”

Jack shoved Ed, and the dark haired man stumbled back a few steps.

“First of all, I can have my own opinions. Second of all, you fucking wish. Come find me when you’re ready to talk and not be a fuckwad.”

Ed watched as Jack stumbled and swayed to his bedroom. Rather than follow after him, he decided he’d shower and give Jack some time to sober up before he tried to earnestly talk to him.

He turned the shower handle to what some considered scalding, and while he waited for it to heat he stripped down. The shower was a one person shower, but it was bordering on claustrophobic. Hornigold had told them if they complained about wanting a bigger one, that there was a perfectly good hose out back and plenty of yard.

If you wanna whine like dogs, you can bathe ‘em too. He’d tell them.

Ed shook that memory away and stepped in the shower.

As the water cascaded down his body, all that was on his mind was Stede Bonnet. Not even in a sexual way, though he was blonde and hung like a horse, but in the way that he was truly one of the kindest people (if not the kindest) Ed had ever known. He grabbed the bottle of body wash and lathered up, daydreaming about what a life with Stede Bonnet would be like.

With a towel around his waist and his hair wrapped in one too, headed to find Jack only to find him laid leaned against the wall with a half smoked cigarette between his lips that Izzy was plucking out of his mouth as Ed walked in.

“For the love of Christ don’t try to wake him up to argue, he’ll be a terror.” The shorter man warned as he took a drag from the cigarette and blew the smoke out the open window.

“Izzy you can’t deny that was absolute bullshit he pulled, I know you heard it up here.” Ed sulked. Izzy shrugged and laid on his bed.

“Guys like blondie are either arrogant twats, or too nice and you’ll get bored within a month and toss him to the bins.”

Ed’s jaw dropped.

“I would not!” He exclaimed, to which Izzy’s only response was a pointed glance.

“Remind me what happened to that pet rabbit you insisted on having?”

Ed rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath about Izzy being a know it all fuck before looking at the other man to answer.

“Don’t know what you mean mate. Last I heard, Mary Read’s got it in her backyard. Sounds like I was a responsible pet owner and this conversation has nothing to do with Stede.”

Izzy chuckled.

“You got bored with it and sold it the second it pissed on your shoes. I’m not a fortune teller but I can almost guarantee if you go down that road you’ll get bored of him then snap the second he pisses you off; and based on how he fucking talks, I’m surprised he hasn’t yet.”

The longer haired man moved to sit on the edge of the bed, grabbing Jacks stash box from under the bed and packing himself a bowl.

Izzy sat up a little.

“‘Jack probably wanted to tell you this himself, but he that guy he buys weed from- tall, kind of a lanky fucker, everyone calls him Frenchie- has a van that he said Jack could have as long as he fixed it up. It’s a piece of shit, but it’d get us far away quick.”

Before Ed could even say a word, Izzy continued.

“I should mention too that this isn’t one of those things where he’s all talk, I’d say he’s got about a week tops until he’ll be asking you if you’re getting in or not-“ he paused. “Something to think about, s‘pose.”

Izzy put out the cigarette on the wall and flicked the butt of it towards the open window.

“He’s gonna be passed out till at least supper, and I’m exhausted. Take the bowl and fuck off somewhere.”

“You don’t tell me what t-“ the argument died on Ed’s lips as Izzy rolled over to his side and pulled the blanket over his body.

Outside, Ed sat on the porch watching the raindrops fall off the awning and the smoke roll. He could hear a faint knocking noise, but he didn’t pay it any mind.

“Ed? Are you home?” A voice could be heard, Stede’s voice.

“‘Round back!” Ed called out.

Stede dashed around, his face alight with optimism and excitement.

“I have amazing news! I got a promotion!” He sat on the ground, toe to toe with Ed.

“They’ve been so impressed with my leadership skills, they want me to spearhead the department upstate. Though of course I didn’t come here to brag, I came here to offer you an opportunity! See, my company is offering me this two bedroom apartment with a stunning view and well…” he paused.

“I know it’d be awfully sudden, but I was wondering if you’d like to accompany me. I really like you Edward. All I have to pay is the utilities, and you’d be free to stay and go as you pleased. I just wanted to come here and offer it to you because I have to take the papers back to the office before seven with signatures of the occupants, in this scenario you and I.”

Ed slowly blinked.

“Stede-“

“I know, I know, it’s a monumental decision to make in a split second. Like I said, I don’t truly need the papers in office till seven.” He unzipped his coat and took a paper out.

“Think about it, and if you decide to, I need the paper back to me and signed no later than six.”

Ed took the paper in his hand, looking it over once.

“Well I have to run now, I promised I’d take Lucius to the pharmacy before it closes.” The blonde reminded himself. Ed nodded and put the paper in his pocket.

Chapter Text

After a few more hits, Ed went in the house and soon found himself watching a movie with Jack like nothing had happened earlier. The boys were like that, at each other’s throats one minute and laughing about a dumb slasher film the next.

Jack was sat cross legged on the ground, while Izzy sat on the arm of the couch and Ed lay sprawled across the cushions.

“Oh come on! Like that guy wouldn’t have seen him coming, stomping around in those fucking boots.” Izzy exclaimed. Ed laughed, nearly falling off the couch.

“Right?? Could hear him from the next county probably.”

Suddenly, the screen door could be heard slamming against the wall in the room beside them and lumbering footsteps.

“Come on Fang, I’ve always been good to y’” Hornigold slurred. Izzy was the first to turn his head towards the sound, Ed looked towards Jack.

“You’re knackered, you cost me about a months worth of rum when you decided to get into that fight with my bartender, and you pissed in my glove compartment. It’s not even five p.m. Ben.” Fang stated. The boys had only heard Hornigolds first name the times he had nearly gotten arrested (but somehow managed to get out of it) “You’re lucky I brought you home myself and didn’t have the police do it.”

The dining room chair could be heard scraping against the floor and Hornigolds body plopping into the seat.

“If those boys weren’t so fucking worthless, maybe I could live in fucking peace.” The man grumbled.

Ed watched Jack’s eyes dart to the hunting knife on the entertainment center. Izzy’s eyes followed suit, and soon all three gazed at the glint of the blade as the older man spoke ill of them. It didn’t matter that Fang was in there trying to speak positively of the boys, all of the other men in the house were too caught up in their own feelings.

“He wants us gone so bad, he wouldn’t have to deal with us if he were six feet under.” Izzy whispered, which brought a grin to Jacks lips. Ed rolled his eyes.

“A knife wound won’t off him, he’s so drunk the damn booze in him would probably sterilize his wound or something.”

Izzy furrowed his brow.

“I don’t think it works like that.“

“Plus-“ Ed kept on. “No way Fang’d let us go running at him with a knife, can’t stop us from aiming a gun though.”

Jack nodded knowingly. Hornigold kept a pistol hidden under the couch just in case hypothetically he were to be asleep on the couch and someone try to break in.

“You’re the better shot Iz. You shoot, Eddie you can run upstairs and grab as much shit as he can, I can handle Fang.”

Ed could feel his blood running cold and his jaw clenched tight. As he watched Izzy slide his fingers under the couch, gently inching the cool metal of the pistol out, he felt as though if he exhaled he’d be too loud. For a split second, Izzy tilted his head and looked at the gun; the weapon that would change everything.

Anxiety was getting the better of Ed, seconds were something they couldn’t afford. Hornigold’s drunken self could stumble over and see the pistol on the ground. So that’s why Ed was the one who snatched it up before Izzy could. Izzy stared at him wide eyed but Ed was too busy aiming over the couch, he knew he had one chance to do it right and he had no time to waste.

Within seconds, the whole world shifted. Ed’s ears were ringing as he pulled the trigger and watched Hornigolds body slump onto the table. He wanted to run but his legs were frozen. The boys had fully anticipated Fang to fly into a fit of blind rage, mourning the loss of his longtime friend.

Instead he just checked Hornigold’s pulse then walked over to the group.

“Listen boys, I’m sorry things led to this point. Can’t say there aren’t a good number of people who would’ve loved to be in your shoes.” He chuckled a bit sadly. “Get as far from here as you can, because surely someone heard that shot.”

While Jack ran upstairs, Ed ran out the door, hopping the fence over to Stede’s then walked around to the front. As he knocked on the door, he began to hear a siren in the distance.

“Cmon Stede, cmon.” He muttered, quickening the frequency of his knocks. The police cars were now coming up their street, their sirens deafening in Ed’s guilty ears.

The door swung open and there stood Lucius, who had clearly thrown on some of Pete’s clothes on accident to go answer the door; nevertheless Ed shoved past him and shut the door behind him.

“Uh what the f-“

“Where’s Stede?”

He could hear the sirens pass the house and stop at his as Stede stepped into the room.

“Oh Ed, hi!” The blonde greeted.

“Stede, I’ve made my decision. I’ll go with you. I want to start a new life with you, me and you. What do you say? Let’s get out of here. Hell, let’s leave right now. Go break in that new apartment eh?” Ed offered with a sheepish shrug, giving Stede his biggest baby deer eyes. He hoped to someone he wasn’t talking a mile a minute.

Stede was over the moon. He wrapped his arms around Ed and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Oh Ed thank you! Yes, let’s go!”

The two dashed to the garage while Lucius stood there confused as to what just happened. He shook his head, turned away, and went back to his fiancé in their bedroom.

“I guess we get the master bedroom now babe,” Lucius informed Pete as he took off Pete’s t shirt and boxers and crawled back into bed with him. His fiancé smiled at him.

“It’ll be nice to have sex in that bed AND get to sleep in it afterwards, it’s a comfy ass mattress.”

Lucius rolled his eyes but couldn’t contain his smirk.

“By the way, I love you like sooo much, and I would do a lot unspeakable things to-“ his eyes motioned downward. “But wearing your underwear is not a vibe.”

Pete laughed.

Stede pulled the car out of the driveway as Ed put sunglasses on. They began driving past Ed’s house; while Ed himself couldn’t bear to look, Stede couldn’t help but notice the police car. That also meant Ed didn’t see the second squad car pull up.

“There’s police at your house! Do we need to turn around?” The blonde questioned, placing his hand on Ed’s thigh to provide comfort. Ed placed his hand on top of Stede’s, his eyes on their hands.

“Nope. Don’t need to worry about that life anymore. Just keep on driving babe,”