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Published:
2024-12-23
Completed:
2025-09-20
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2,141
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2/2
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32
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The Ultimate Christmas Gift

Anonymous

Summary:

Vio finds a way to bring back Shadow, but there's a catch!

Notes:

Authorzz note!

Hiiiii everyone!! Happy christmassssssss. My dad got out of prison finally lol. I thikn it's time for me to dust off the old writing fingers. This was a request from Viostinkyfeet2675. It's not reallly my cup of tea lmaooo but it was good practice, and I'm suuuuper happy woth how it came out. Plz enjoy!!

WARNING FOR IMPLIED SMEXY TIMES (LEMON) AND OBVIOUS YAOIIIIII

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Links having sex, not with a mouse (a/n any Minish Cap fans *winky face*?)

Nine months ago Violet Link had spoken to his dear friend Reddit Link (a/n that's his full name, look it up). He told him that he had a plan to bring back Shadow Link from the dead. 

"I have a plan to bring back Shadow Link from the dead." Said Vio Link. 

"OwO? Really? I miss my friend Shadow Link." Said Red Link. 

"Yes." Said Vio. 

"But he needs a vessel. A vessel like the womb of a Hylian man." Said Vio. 

"Wh-wh-wh-what do you mean?" Said Red 

"I need someone to bare Shadow, as if he were a fetus." Said Vio. "In other words, Mpreg." 

"Mpreg? Y--y-you mean?" Red whimpered. 

"Yes Red. I think you womb is very wombly. I have run the diagnositics. It would make a wonderful incubator for our dear friend. (Your wide hips are a big bonus)."

"How did you talk in parenthesises?" 

"Shut up [slur]"

":(" 

"Aaaaanyway, Red, do you trust me?" Said Vio

"Always, Burpleboo~" said Red. 

"Do you consent to getting inseminated?"

"I do"

"Good. Now bend over." 

 

The night? Christmas eve. The bells? Jingled. The egg? Nogged. Red was now heavily preganonent, incubating the un-ripened baby Shadow Link in his tum tum. Soon the demon would be reborn into this cruel world, whether he wanted to or not. Red could only hope that Vio's semen had worked in this ritual and he wasn't just having Vio's unplanned, unrelated spawn. But regardless Red would care for the infant, demon or not. He had taken up knitting to make those cute little baby socks. He went to a diaper website, but he thinks it might not have been for babies (a/n O_O). 

Christmas was here and so were the festive four sword traditions. Blue would make takoyaki with little santa hats. They were vegan and they sucked ass but everyone ate it because they felt bad. Green would break the peppermint pig (whatever that means). Blue would not eat the pig because it was not vegan (loser). Vio usually drank delicious mulled wine in his La-Z-boy armchair, but these days he prefered to stay in his underground medical facility (a/n Why does he even have that lol?). Red usually did an ice plunge, but he feared this year it may interrupt his pregnamci. He could not risk that, he didn't want Shadow to have frozen baby syndrome. So he would spend the lead up to the holidays eating fresh rupees. He was told to eat a rich diet, after all. 

Christmas dinner that fateful eve was interrupted by Red wetting himself.... his water broke. 

"Shit dawg!! My fuckin carpet is ruined!" Blue sneered. "Fuckin' pissin' on my fucking carpet again I'll fucking kill you-"

"Blue you dolt!" Green said calmly. "His pregnomcy labour has started!" 

"OOooooooooohhhhhhhhh" Red whimpered. 

Vio crashed through the window. 

"Quick! To the basement!" yelled Vio 

Red dribbled his way to the underground medical facility (a/n again?? what's up with that? 0_o). He could feel the baby kicking and all he could do was FUCKING SCREAM!!!!! Being preggnog was so hard. He kind of forgot about this part. It felt almost as if a fully grown human man was inside of him right now. 

He lay down on the examination table as Vio glanced at his vagonja. It had dialated to 13 inches, a healthy length to dilate. 

"You're doing so well boo." Vio cooed, stroking his leg hair. "Push now, darling. Push for me." 

Red pushed. It kind of felt like he was taking a gargantuan poopie. He decided not to tell the others that. 

"It's so biiiiiggggggg" Red cried, his tears limpid and pooling on the cold tile. 

"We don't have the tools for a C section." Vio muttered. "We'll have to do a B section."

"W-w-what does B stand for?" Red gulped 

"Birth." 

Red whimpered and sobbed. It felt like this wasn't a normal pregonarcy. It was almost as if..... the baby....... was moving..... up?!?! 

"Vio!! I think I'm going to throw it up?" 

"Throw what up?!" 

"The baby!!!!!" 

"Red that's not-" 

Suddenly, Red begin to scream. His chest started pushing outwards, like in the movies. Everyone started screaming! Red was screaming! Vio was screaming! Blue was screaming! Green was creaming! Red could feel his organs start to unalive themselves. 

"Vio!!" Red cried. "Take care of our baby-" 

Bursting forth from the bloody orifice, a fully formed, fully clothed Shadow Link, rose from the carcass of his deceased mother. Horror etched across the faces of all who witnessed this revival. A moment of agony and beauty, a symbol of the eternal circle of death and birth. The roundabout of suffering and joy, now bared flesh in front of their very eyes. Shadow Link took his first breath, freedom from the warm dark place he had inhabited and ultimately destroyed though it had not been in his nature. 

Blinking, taking in the surroundings, Shadow became familiar with the sight before him. His friends, who he had not seen and thought he never would. 

"So what did I miss?!" Shadow grinned, sitting happily in Red's demolished chest cavity. 

"Red is fucking dead." Said Green. 

"This ain't about him." Said Shadow. 

 

 

The end 

 

Chapter 2

Notes:

HELLOOOOOO <33

THank youse for the 22 kudos everyomwe!! I cant bleieve it!! 22!! That's at least 17 kudos!!

My dad said if this nedt chapter gets 22 MORE kudos, hell tAKE me to [Lane Bryant] and im soooooooooooo excited rn. Thank you again for all of this, thankds to you I can now afford my Splenectomy. Everythings lookin up for me!!!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It had been twenty 8 minutes since Shadwo Link had been borned. (a/n if you need a refresher i would recommend reading the firest part. Click the button that says "previous chapter". Remember yo like and subscribe and clicj the bell).

Red is dead.

"Welp" said Green, standing up like somebody from Missouri who wants to leave the function. "This is happening."

Blue begin to weep and weep and weep. His boyfrined had exploded into atoms anf blood. It was very bad. Blue was upset because the stain on the carpet would never come out and now his SHEETS?! They weren't even vegan anymore!! WHAT THE FUCK?!!

Vio was feeling morally grey. It was time for the morally grey confetti (a/n it's balck and white lol. like a pinto bean horse). His beautiful pookiebear shadow link the hedgehog was BACK!! The experiment was a success! apart from when red exploded into atoms and blood. That part was not radical. hE was kind of worried that if he tried to sew red back together he might mix up the intesines and the brain (a/n it wouldnt be the first time hehehe). Vio was versed in mpreg magic not in anatomy. He failed his necropomarcy classes. It was the only thing hed ever failed in his fucking life.

"whwhwhwhwhwhwhat are we going going to doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo." Blue said clamly. "Reddit died! His atoms are all over my shoes!! This is the WORST christmas EVER!"

"Be still my child." Vio eloquently articulated. "We will find a way to bring back Red, I am sure oif it. As sure as it snows on mount fuji."

Blue sucked back a tear. He had to bleieve that Vio was telling the trusth. They would soon be reunited with thier dear friend inside me, Reddit Link.

"GUYSSSSS??" said the newborn. "WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEE?"

"You are a baby, just sit there and shit yourself, dawg." Green quipped.

So he shidded himself, but he didnt want to (a/n :( ).

------------------------------------------------------------------

THE NEST DAY [at target] [[lets hope they have ebough soy sauce or theyll have to go to winn dixies]]

The day? Christmass. The Holly? Jolly. The Red? Dead. Redemption? maybe

Today thry were looking for a way to reconstruct red's body. As it turned out, Vio was not good at doing that sort of thang. He hafd mistaken Red's managled remains of a bladder and put it in his rectum. Now, Green's no rexpert at anatomy, but he THINKS that maybe that shouldnt go in there?????????????????????? Does vio even have an anatomy book??? As far as Green has seen the only thing on shelf is a bunch of "hen ties" whatever THAT means/

So, to target they went! There was surely some boy replacement kits lyin arounf the place. Blue had a coupon too. The shrimp section was sadly closed.

"CAN I GET A SLUSHEEEE/#?!" whined the petulant Shafow Link. Vio was pushing him in a one of those red and yellow car things (a/n you know what im talking about right? come onnnnn).

"Babiues cant have slushees. It's too much red 40." replied Bluey.

"Red 40'd himself at home you stupid cunt." Shadow sneered, sticking out his tonfue. Blue was aghast and he kicked the car as hard as he could. Shadow went zooming into the parking lot and blew up a cybertruck. There was a bitcrushed explosion and a scream that peaked the mic. Luckly he only recieved a mild singe (a/n he lost a eyebrow : ( ).

anyway.

The fouro headed through the isles looking for something that they might be able to use. Anything would work! Anything at all!

"Hey look what I found." Green said triumphanlty holding up his treasure. It was a Nintendo Switch 2.

"GREEN WHAT THE FUCK??!" scream Viol. "DO YOU THINK WE ARE FUCKING MADE OF RUPEES?" (A/n red dont answer that).

"It's two percent offf theouh." Green sniled sneetly. Blueyy slapped him across the head very hard. It sounded hollow, empty, desolate, like a watermelon.

Nevermind. They would keep looking. They had to keep looking. They had to. The fate of the red was in their habnds.

Next they decided... GASP... the lingerie section. How acandlous. But if they wanted to bring Red back they knew he'd need those double d cups for his large fat bosoms. That was a good start. They picked one that had pictures of Sonic on. Thats what Sonic wears.

Next they went to the makecup section. You could get lashes and brows and fingernails.. GASP.. FINGERNAILS!! Red needs fingernails!! That's a part of the human body i think!! Thank goodness they have tthem in stock!

"I WANT LASH EXTENSIONS!!!!!" Shadow Link screamwed and peed a little.

"Somebody get him his bottle." groAned Pluey. Vio rolled his eyes and handed Shadow his soothing bottle of gasoline blue. Shadow suckled delightedly :).

What else.. what else.. what other things could they use to build a red.

CHICKEN GIZZards!!!

Of course. It was the perfact reciepe. Unfortunately the economy had just crashed, like moments ago. Chicken gizzards where facing import tariffs, you know how it is. So they devised a cunting plan to steal them.

They would stuff them down Geen's pants. It was that simple! It like one of those youtube tutorials you know? Like the guy with the eggs.. come on guys. you know? the guy? with the eggs? guys? Hello? It's sp cold in here.

On the way out they also sumggled some soy sauce. It wasnt rrally important in the grand scheme of things. They were just kinda low on it.

The quartetlet made their way out of the store. Green waddled to the car (a/n 2006 Honda Civic) and let the bounty out of his pants. At this point Shadow was asleep. They put nyquil in his baba bottle.

------------------------------------------------------------------______________________----------------------

AT DA HAOUS

Everything was ready. The summoning was about to begin. They would soon be reunited with their sugarbooger.

They made a pentlegram with Crayola Supertips®. Red's corpse and bodildly parts (allegedly) were pilled up and mixed with the #Target Haul #Mytargethaul. It was a beautiful painting odf death and destruction. (a/n D O YOu ThiNk IT WOUlD Be gooD iN a ChilDrenS HosPITal???????????????????????????????????????????). The cooler with the spleen was placed on top like a slimy little crown.

They chanted the magic words, while doing the chicken dance:

"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum."

The thangs in the pentrogram started glowing and vibrating. It was just like last thursday night except maybe less blood.. i think.

Oh god it's so cold in here. I wish I could tell my mother that I loved her. I wish the light wouldn't come so quickly.

You know who else comes quickly?

Suddnely it was RED!!

OR WAS IT???

Actaully, instead of Red there was some strange kind of amalgam.. what the fuck??

Red.. if that was his real name (a/n it's actually Reddit) turned his head 600 degrees, making the most unholy of noises. I wil now attempt to transcribe what he said:

"NVURBOTIGMBERWWEKVMRUBTHNTEIPVMWEPLQCMDVJBNERGUJEKOFRJGTITJH46IJTBIHRIPVFBIOBVWUGVECBYDEVCAYCE4TY5H8GTRIERIBTRONKYONIMY9HUJT8BRYVRW7HDUOVJNFSJSDBVUD JB."

Oh

They forgot to use the soy sauce.

SHitballs.

Notes:

I'm on my way

Notes:

Updates may be sparse girlies :(. I hab to go to the hospital cuz I tripped on my kitty cat and I broke my FUCKING SPLEEN :(!!!!!!! Thanks George!!! (a/n George is muy kitty cat lmao)