Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jeff, Barry and Kane sat in Jeff’s cubicle, eating lunch. Alex walked by. He’s been working as their tech lead for the past year and they were all testing his new game, Demonik 2. In the meanwhile, Jeff has taken over Alex’s role as QA lead.

“What’s up, testers?” Alex said.

“What’s up, grey bush?” Jeff replied.

“I heard Mr. Cheezle is hiring a new tester.”

“Oh,” Jeff raised an eyebrow. “Finally, we’ve been a tester short since you ditched us for a cushy game designer job.”

“I heard it might be a girl,” Alex added.

Everyone perked up their ears and their bored expressions shifted to curiosity.

“We’ve never had that before. I hope she’s good,” Kane said.

Chapter Text

Remy sat on a soft uncomfortable “chair” while her new boss, Mr. Cheezle, sat on the table in front of her. He was just done with a yoga routine and fixed them both a cup of tea.

“Congratulations! You are hired. Your first work day is on Tuesday,” Mr. Cheezle put his cup down to shake her hand.

“Thank you, Mr. Cheezle. Before I start, there is something I want to ask. It concerns me as a woman entering in the gaming industry. Please don’t take it the wrong way but… has there been any sexual harassment at your company?” she asked with barely concealed excitement in her eyes.

“Oh no, I assure you we have nothing of the sort,” Mr. Cheezle frowned sympathetically.

“Oh… good to hear…” Remy sighed, and her face fell.

“But if anyone mistreats you, remember you can always come to me for help,” Mr. Cheezle smiled warmly.

“I will,” Remy smiled.

Chapter Text

It was midnight. Only the screen of a single computer monitor illuminated the dark, quiet office.

“Goddammit, why did Alex have to make it so hard!” Kane cursed and threw the controller down in frustration.

He’s been working hard all evening, trying to beat level 5, but failed miserably. It was embarrassing.

“Why do I suck at this?! I don’t deserve to live!”

As far as he could remember, thoughts of death as a sweet release from the stresses and pain of life haunted him. It sucked to be so disproportionately affected by every little failure. He wished he could stop being “a crybaby” like his grandmother once called him, but he couldn’t help it. He threw his head onto his desk, covered his face behind his arms and cried quietly, until he fell asleep.

He woke up early in the morning from a back ache. Groggily, he lifted his head from the desk and jumped. Next to him stood a woman, about 5 foot 2, with black hair styled in a short bob, dressed in a back miniskirt, turtleneck and shiny leggings. She stood there, motionless, doing nothing but staring at him.

She was hot.

“Uh, hi,” Kane croaked, his voice hoarse from not using it for hours. “Can I help you?” he asked, wondering how long she must have watched him sleep before he woke up.

The woman stopped acting like a creepy statue and smiled.

“I’m Remy, I’m the new tester,” she extended her hand to him, and he shook it. “What is your name?”

“I’m Kane,” he replied.

“Do you know where my cubicle is?” she asked shyly.

“Um, I guess it might be the one next to Jeff,” Kane pointed to the right cubicle in the office. “It’s been empty since one of the testers quit.”

“Thanks,” she smiled and let go of his hand. He noted her fingers traced his palm as she did so for just a fraction of a second. “See you around, Kane.”

She smiled as she left. Kane watched her shapely ass and toned legs when she was no longer looking at him, but the pleasure of the view was spoiled by negative thoughts.

“I can never get a girl like that. She’s probably fucking Chads every night,” Kane muttered to himself and sighed heavily.

Chapter Text

The testers gathered in the break room, ready to challenge Alex and Jeff, the best players in the company.

“So close,” Alex teased Dan and Tim, who just lost to him and Jeff in a two vs two first person shooter game.

“We’ll get you next time,” Dan said.

“We have 10 minutes left of the lunch break, anyone else wanna lose to us before we have to go back to work?”

“Me?..” came a small, feminine voice.

Everyone turned to the source of the voice, the girl who sat in the corner and watched the competition. Somehow nobody noticed her presence until now.

“Ooooooooooooooh,” everyone oo’ed when they saw who it was. “The new tester!”

“Okay,” Alex raised his eyebrows. “But you need a team mate.”

Kane caught her eyes on him and looked down. He was terrible at that game and didn’t want to embarrass himself more than necessary.

“I’ll be your team mate,” James, a guy wearing a beanie hat, said.

The game was on. It was agonizingly slow, as both Alex and the new girl kept hiding and trying to sniff out where the other one was in the concrete maze of buildings. Eventually Alex and Jeff located James, who started trying to snipe them from the roof, cutting off their exits. They killed him and went looking for Remy, who was still nowhere to be found. Eventually they saw her elbow sticking out from the second floor window. As they were about to shoot her, both their characters were eliminated by a single shotgun blast, fired by Remy at close range, who came from a completely different direction.

The crowd of testers let out an involuntary scream of surprise.

“HAHAHA Boom, headshot!” the real Remy laughed heartily in a strange, deep voice, and clapped her hands like a child as digital blood of her enemies covered half the screen.

“..what just happened?” Alex said, shocked that someone has finally beaten him at anything.

Remy giggled enigmatically, got up and left the room, swaying her hips, her perfect boobs bouncing with every step, supported by her impossibly thin waist, leaving the crowd of testers speechless from her skills and her gravity-defying figure.

Chapter Text

The office was buzzing with life and work when the front door opened loudly and sounds of boots stomping down the hall were heard.

Jeff looked up. Kane looked up. Alex looked up. Everyone looked up. Their collective heart skipped a beat.

A tall supermodel of a woman with shoulder-length brown hair with pink and teal streaks walked confidently down the hall. Her trench coat was open, revealing legs in stripy thigh-highs, a miniskirt and a tank top that strained to contain her boobs. She kind of looked like a mix of PJ Harvey and Shelley Duvall. Everyone followed her body with objectifying eyes as she disappeared inside Mr. Cheezle’s office.

“Wow,” Kane said, when she was out of hearing range.

“Who is this?” Jeff asked.

“I don’t know,” Alex replied, puzzled.

Later that day, Alex was called into Mr. Cheezle’s office. A half an hour later, he entered the common room, looking preoccupied and exhausted.

“What happened?” Jeff asked, noticing his best friend’s sorrowful expression.

“You’ll understand in a minute,” Alex said, and plopped into a chair and covered his eyes with his hand.

The tall woman entered the common room, followed by Mr. Cheezle.

“May I have your attention, please?” Mr. Cheezle said, and all the testers turned to him.

“Our company has been sort of understaffed the past year. We’ve been struggling to program and design our games on time, so we’ve hired another developer. Or, more precisely, rehired… Please say welcome to…”

Barry’s eyes widened in recognition. “Oh my god, it’s JP!” he exclaimed loudly.

Everyone who previously drooled over her, gagged, and struggled to conceal it.

The tall woman glared at him. “That’s my deadname. My new name is PJ!”

“Why did you rehire him? He’s a thief!” Jeff protested.

Mr. Cheezle frowned. “First of all, I’ve been in touch with PJ after that incident and she has proven to me that she turned her life around and is truly regretful about what she’s done. I’m willing to give her another chance and ask you to do the same. And second… Jeff, our company policies clearly state we have zero tolerance for misgendering colleagues. I’m afraid you will have to undergo 5 hours of obligatory sensitivity training.”

“What?..” Jeff exclaimed, shocked, but Mr. Cheezle didn’t want to hear anything.

“Get back to work, testers,” PJ smiled an evil smile as Mr. Cheezle and her turned to leave.

Chapter Text

PJ sat in her new office. The first meeting with all her old colleagues didn’t go entirely well, but she needed the job and nobody else wanted to hire her after that game stealing incident.

*flashback*

She was working on her latest game, wearing a lot of makeup, which she only dared to do when alone in her house, when she noticed she got a message from Samantha, the girl she had a massive crush on. Her heart skipped a beat and she eagerly opened it, only to hear the voices of her colleagues making fun of her and calling her a freak. She realized everyone actually did hate her a lot, and that realization hurt.

But the last part of the prank call hurt the most and ruined the last bits of confidence she had left.

“My name is JP, I’m a robot, I love robots, I have a robot vagina.”

It really hurt to be reminded of what she so badly wished to have, but didn’t. It was then she realized she couldn’t live like this anymore and had to transition, regardless of how much ridicule this might cause, as well as make all these jerks pay for making her life miserable.

Chapter Text

Remy came to work super early to investigate everyone’s desks to get to know everyone better. Most people decorated their desks with action figures and their cubicle walls with game posters.

Remy stopped next to an especially unkempt desk covered with several empty coffee cups, empty bottles of Mountain Dew, and candy wrappers, and a poster of a sexy woman wearing a bikini. The keyboard was well-used and several keys had missing letters. Remy leaned in closer and her heart beat faster.

“Is that… Cheeto dust?..”

This keyboard surely belonged to a virgin neckbeard. She looked around. Nobody was at work. Surely nobody would notice…

She leaned it, closed her eyes, and slowly trailed her tongue sexily along the well-worn black keys.

“Yep, it is Cheeto dust alright.”

Remy made her way to an office. It was right next to Alex’s office. It wasn’t as big as Alex’s office (that one was the biggest), and it was decorated with all sorts of Matrix-related stuff. Remy noted it had a nice gaming chair, a curved monitor and… the sexiest keyboard she has ever seen. She pushed some keys. The sound of mechanical clicking caressed her ears. It surely had backlighting too, but she didn’t dare to turn it on.

“Oh, I can’t resist!..” she moaned, and gave it several voracious licks, enjoying the taste of plastic and the germs the owner surely left on it.

PJ arrived to the office. Before she could open the door, Alex greeted her with a big stack of papers.

“These characters need redesigning. Oh, and there is a long backlog of bugs that need fixing. Get to it,” and he dropped the stack into her hands.

PJ sighed, but said nothing. Alex was her superior and she had to do what he said, which meant lots of dirty, unglamorous work he didn’t have to do.

She went inside her office. Alex has not only taken the role she used to have, but also moved into the office that used to be hers, leaving her a smaller one. She sat down to have a nice day of coding. To her dismay and disgust, as she touched her fancy mechanical keyboard, her fingers felt strange, sticky goo.

She stormed into the open office landscape where the testers sat.

“Hey look, it’s the missing Wachowski sister!” Jeff joked.

“Alright, which one of you did it?” she demanded.

“What are you talking about?” Dan asked, confused.

“One of you covered my keyboard with something gross!”

The testers looked at her, then at each other and burst into a fit of laughter.

PJ saw a bottle of chocolate milk on Dan’s table and knocked it over angrily, sending its contents spilling onto Dan’s keyboard.

“What the hell!.” Dan yelled, but PJ had already stormed off into her office to clean up her keyboard.

Chapter Text

Remy was very, very sad. She’s been working at Brainasium for a whole week, and nobody has tried to grope, catcall her, awkwardly hit on her, or use their position as superior to coerce her into sex. The testers just stared at her and smiled stupidly, but did nothing.

“Damn you, gaming industry! Where is the sexual harassment I was promised? Did I looksmaxx for nothing?” she complained under her breath as she changed a pad in the women’s bathroom.

She slammed the door angrily as she walked out, and walked into another woman on her way inside the bathroom. Remy’s small body bounced off of the other woman’s statuesque one, and she fell on her ass.

“I’m so sorry,” Remy said, picking up the papers the other woman dropped. “Oh!..” her eyes widened in recognition. It was PJ, the new dev who was apparently the cause of some kind of juicy drama a year ago, the details of which Remy didn’t care to find out.

“No, I am sorry. It’s alright,” PJ said, and offered her hand. Remy took it cautiously. She was wary of other women, trans or cis alike. They were competition for the virgin neckbeard attention Remy so desperately craved.

“I haven’t seen you here before,” PJ said, and eyed Remy up and down with interest. Remy was cute. And held no embarrassing memories about PJ’s past life. “I’m PJ, the new dev here.”

“I know,” Remy smiled politely. “Nice to meet you. I’m Remy, I’ve been working as a tester here for a week.”

“You know what,” PJ rummaged through her pockets. “If you need any help with anything here, just call me any time you want,” and she handed Remy a card. “Want to go to lunch together tomorrow? Were like, both new. And need a break from all these guys sometimes, don’t you think?” she said the last part with thinly veiled resentment.

“Sure,” Remy shrugged and took the card. She thought nothing of having lunch with a colleague, and went back to her cubicle.

Chapter Text

Ever since PJ showed up, Kane hasn’t been able to stop thinking about her. He was not sure why. She was mean to him when she was a guy and didn’t seem any better as a girl, but he couldn’t stop wanting to win her approval.

He knocked on the door to her office, and walked in. PJ looked up at him with annoyance as he entered, and turned down the music she was listening to.

“What is it?” she asked impatiently.

“I uh, I’m just wondering why you haven’t used my recoloring idea for your dwarves and elves earlier. You guys seem to be having the same problem with the new game you’re making, and Alex is having you redesign all the characters. Isn’t that way more expensive?”

PJ sighed and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, but we’re obligated by law to have something called accessibility in our games now, and you cannot use color alone to distinguish the characters. Which you would have known if you read the rules. The age of inclusivity is here, haven’t you noticed?”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to -“ Kane started to speak, embarrassed.

“Go read up on it before you come to me with any more “bright” ideas,” PJ cut him off and waved her hand at him, signaling him to go away.

Kane left, feeling crushed.

Later that day, after returning home, feelings of destroyed self-esteem turned into feelings of rage. He logged into incel forums and made a post under his usual username, subhumanRicecel.

“Femoids are destroying my workplace. I thought I was safe in the gaming industry, thought I could just pretend sex doesn’t exist there, but femoids have infiltrated that, too. Recently our woke boss hired two of them and now I have to see them every day. Can’t even work for five fucking minutes without being reminded of what I can’t have. I hate them so much. One of them is a tranny who used to be one of us, jfl. The other one is constantly teasing everyone, shaking her tits and ass in everyone’s face like she thinks there are no consequences. I wish someone made her have them already. I hate them and I hate my life, fuuuuuuuck!”

His post was punctuated with angry Pepe emojis and hanging Pepe emojis, and replied to with sympathetic posts of other users.

Chapter Text

Remy met PJ next to the exit to the building.

“It’s such a bright sunny day, would you join us to lunch outside?” PJ said, and opened the door for Remy.

“‘Us’?” Remy asked, looking around, confused.

“…me. Would you join me?” PJ corrected herself, somewhat flustered.

“Sure,” Remy said.

“After you, milady…” PJ said, and bent in a chivalrous gesture.

Remy’s eye twitched. Then the corner of her mouth. She involuntarily started drooling, but slurped it back up.

It was the most socially awkward gesture she has experienced in a long time, and it made her so horny her knees went weak.

PJ noticed Remy’s weird glitchout. “Are you alright?” she asked, concerned she was witnessing a stroke.

“Yeah,” Remy smiled confidently and offered no explanation.

PJ looked around as they sat down on the grass and started eating sushi and sandwiches that they shared with each other. There was nobody but them in the park, as IT people generally didn’t like the outdoors. PJ hated the sun too, but at least it scared the competition away.

They talked to each other about their work and interests without being disturbed.

“It’s nice to see other women working here. You like it here at Brainasium?” she asked.

“Yeah, I like my job,” Remy replied. “The people leave much to be desired though,” she sighed, thinking of how ignored she was.

“Can’t agree more,” PJ narrowed her eyes. “They are a bunch of jerks. Hey, we should hang out after work sometime. There is a cybersecurity seminar at UCLA next Thursday at 5, want to join me?” she segwayed into the invitation, doing her best to appear cool and collected.

Remy didn’t care much about cybersecurity. In fact she only cared about food, sex, other cheap thrills, and claiming weak men’s hearts, but PJ looked so nervous and cute when asking her out that her predator instincts got activated and she relented.

“Okay,” she shrugged.

“Great!” PJ exhaled in relief. “You won’t regret this. Talk to you soon…” and with these words, she took her hand in hers, bowed to it and brought it to her lips. She then straightened up and robot-walked away, hydraulic sounds and all.

Remy felt herself freeze up as PJ did this. She brought the back of her hand to their face. There were traces of lip balm on it, and it smelled like vanilla.

“I’m not usually into women, but I can work with this,” she thought.

Chapter Text

Remy met up with PJ at the university. Remy noted her date was dressed all formal and conservative in a black jacket, black pants, shiny boots with thick soles and a black bra peeking out. Remy matched her style, wearing a little black dress and black heels. PJ offered her elbow and Remy hung onto it.

Remy yawned as she was forced to sit through a lot of boring lectures, and PJ’s commentary as she escorted Remy home, most of which Remy was too uncurious and uneducated to understand. It took a lot of faking to appear genuinely interested.

Finally, it was over, and they were standing outside Remy’s front door.

They sat on the bench to rest their legs. PJ was not sure what to do next on a date. Did Remy know it was a date, or did she forget to specify?. Should they both just go home, or should she go for a kiss? She knew it would be the next logical step, but wasn’t sure when or how to make it happen.

“That lecture on penetration testing was very interesting. In the future we’ll all be cyborgs, and be modular, have robot legs, and brain-computer interfaces so it’s important to have security,” PJ said as she scooted over closer to Remy on the bench, and put one arm around her shoulder. “I look forward to that,” PJ sighed dreamily, imagining her cyborg future, although she was already on her way there with fake boobs and semisynthetic skin achieved with filler and botox. Then she looked back at Remy to access her reaction.

Remy looked at PJ’s hand on her shoulder, then at her face intensely, but didn’t move or say anything. Which probably meant it was ok to continue.

“It’s pretty amazing what you can do to someone’s database through SQL injection,” PJ continued, and sat even closer, her arm wrapping around Remy’s waist. “Did you like the lecture?”

“No, but I like you,” Remy smiled a dumb, vaguely predatory smile.

“Oh,” PJ exhaled, feeling blood rush to her face. “Maybe we could.. go to my place sometime, install Kali Linux and test it?..” PJ’s other hand went up to Remy’s chest and brushed over her boobs, before settling on her stomach.

Remy looked at her like a deer in the headlights as PJ held her in her arms. Her colleague and superior was feeling her up in public as people occasionally passed and looked. But it felt pretty good and warm, especially since the summer air was a bit chilly.

“OMG I’m kinda being sexually harassed?” she thought giddily.

PJ felt her heart beating hard in her chest. She didn’t know what to say, she was making shit up as she went, but things seemed to be going well. She’s never been this close to a woman. The heat emanating from Remy’s body and the smell of her skin were intoxicating. Several moments passed in silence, and she leaned into the smaller woman for a kiss. Remy moaned into her mouth and leaned her head back. The taste of vanilla lip balm on PJ’s soft lips was sweet, and Remy licked between them, inviting herself in.

PJ broke away once Remy’s tongue got too hot and heavy with her own, and things got too intense. “Wow,” she exhaled, and giggled. Remy smiled back and said nothing.

“See you at work tomorrow,” PJ said as she got up to leave.

“Yeah,” Remy bit her lip and smiled. “Thanks for a good date,” and she went inside her home.

Chapter Text

Someone walked into PJ’s office. PJ was about to get annoyed, when she saw it was Remy.

“Remy! Do you need anything?” she asked.

“Where is your keyboard?” Remy asked, looking behind PJ’s screen. “Oh, it’s still there, good…”

“Huh?” PJ asked, confused.

“Anyway, I’m here to tell you I… fucked up. I didn’t test levels 3-4 like I was supposed to,” Remy said in a small voice, and her lip trembled.

"Oh, what happened?" PJ asked.

“I took a mental health day on Monday," Remy whimpered.

"That's cool, I understand," PJ said sympathetically.

"...and after that my sister needed someone to take care of her cat," Remy continued.

"Okay," PJ nodded. "That's rational..."

"...and afterwards my horoscope said it was a bad day for making decisions so I didn’t do anything," Remy bit her lip and put a finger to her mouth in a guilty gesture.

"Uh, okay, I guess..." PJ frowned.

"...and today I overslept so I just… didn’t do it. We're off schedule, what do I do?" Remy whined.

PJ sighed, as she was getting a little ticked off.

"Please don't get me fired!" Remy feigned fear and hung her head, but looked up with a small, devious smile.

"I'm not gonna get you fired.." PJ said, expression softening. “I’ll just find some other tester and make them do it.”

"But I'll do anything to keep this job.. Anything," Remy cut her off, walked up to PJ's desk, sat on it and shifted so that her jacket fell off one shoulder. Below her jacket she wore a low-cut top that exposed her cleavage.

"And what is that?" PJ asked, unable to take her eyes off Remy's chest and her seductive face.

“I want you to rawdog me the way you rawdog VSCode," Remy half-moaned breathily.

PJ stared at her in shock. "Mmkay," she said in a robot voice, but then regained composure. "Don't mind if I do…"

Remy felt small as PJ slowly got up from her chair, walked around the desk to face her, and loomed over her as she leaned onto the table with one hand behind her and used the other to stroke Remy’s cheek, trailing down her neck, chest and down her stomach.

“Like this?” PJ asked, as her hand hiked up the front of Remy’s skirt and went down her underwear. Remy but her lip as she felt PJ’s fingers caress her clit.

“More like…this,” Remy moved PJ’s hand lower, further between her legs, and pushed.

PJ felt her face get hot when she sensed her fingers sink into the wet heat of Remy’s pussy under her guidance. She leaned in and brushed her lips against Remy’s and slipped her tongue inside her mouth as she went deeper and curved her fingers.

Remy moaned through the kiss as PJ rubbed her clit with the upper part of her palm and put her talented fingers to good use inside her needy cunt. Remy leaned against the desk, practically lying on top of it, as she was penetrated and pleasured by PJ on both ends. She hooked her arms around PJ’s neck, and one leg around her waist.

PJ’s moaned quietly, not wanting to be heard by anyone. She felt unbearably horny, but couldn’t afford to lose control or have her knees go weak, and so she put effort into standing steady on her feet.

Even through the kiss, Remy’s moans got louder and louder. As hot as this was, PJ couldn’t help but be distracted by thoughts of everyone in the office hearing them and coming in, and ruining the moment. She opened one eye and reached her free hand for the keyboard, which strained her back and leg muscles as Remy was still halfway hanging off of her. She pushed a key and increased the volume of the music, drowning out Remy.

Remy came to hypnotic sounds of an industrial track, and she came so hard she squeezed PJ’s fingers and left scratches on the side of her neck.

Chapter Text

*fast forward two months*

Remy had been enjoying PJ’s attention, orgasms and gifts, but was starting to get bored. PJ was a bit too sweet and sex a bit too tame and consensual. Things settled into some kind of boring normalcy and it irritated Remy. And worst of all, PJ was resourceful and had high self-esteem. She was way more rich and famous than Remy first thought, and this popularity nagged at the back of her mind.

PJ has been enjoying having her first ever girlfriend. Remy was hot and loving, and having her made everyone at the office jealous. But something was missing. It was fun to play with Remy’s body, but she never returned the favor and barely initiated, instead preferring PJ do all the work.

One day, PJ and Remy were having lunch at work.

“Your additions to the game were so cool! You are so talented,” Remy said.

“I know, right?” PJ smiled back, pleased with herself. “I’m pretty amazing.”

Remy frowned and paused on thought. “When you first came out, did your parents get angry?”

“No, they were very supportive right away,” PJ replied. “And I’m glad to have a supportive gf too,” she said, and gave Remy a kiss on the cheek.

Remy’s expression darkened and she stayed silent for several minutes.

“PJ… There is no easy way for me to say this, but… I don’t think this is working out. I don’t think we should be together anymore.”

“What?..” PJ’s smile fell. “But.. everything is going well! Why?”

“To tell you the truth, you are too good for me. You’re rich, famous, a genius, you know people, and I’m super intimidated just talking to you.”

PJ looked at her, speechless, listening to Remy’s words, which seemed incomprehensible. “But, but, you know it doesn’t change my opinion of you,” PJ protested, but Remy cut her off.

“I feel like trash when I’m with you,” she gave PJ a dead, contemptuous look. PJ was so shocked she stopped talking.

“I know your kind. You’re all alike,” Remy said cryptically, and walked away to her cubicle, leaving PJ sad and confused.

Chapter Text

The breakup left PJ completely blindsided. She tried to talk to Remy, but Remy walked away whenever she approached and completely ignored her.

But, regardless, PJ believed the breakup happened due to some kind of massive misunderstanding, and everything would go back to normal if it was cleared up, so she kept trying.

One day she went to work and went to speak to Remy, only to stop halfway through the hall. Remy sat on Dan’s desk, with her jacket off one shoulder. It was obvious they were joking and flirting.

Remy noticed they were being watched, and turned her head to face PJ. “Um, can I help you?..” she asked, confused.

PJ couldn’t believe it. Remy went from wanting to be railed by her every day to acting like she was nothing. An empty space. PJ turned around and walked away, sad, barely audible robot noises punctuating her steps.

The evening after work, PJ cuddled up with her blåhaj in bed and sobbed quietly as she scrolled through her favorite mental health TikTok channel, run by a schizophrenic woman names Bea.

“Sometimes we are confused. Sometimes things are confusing,” the older woman with shoulder-length wavy blond hand said in a sympathetic tone. “It can be disorienting. But it is important to do our best not to let the feeling of confusion make us despair and panic. Lack of clarity is an inescapable part of life, for neurotypical and neurodivergent people alike, even if causes might be different. But in the end, you will always find meaning.”

PJ listened to Bea’s soft, calming voice for half an hour more, and fell asleep.

Next day, Mr. Cheezle himself asked PJ to stop following Remy, no doubt asked to do so by Remy herself.

Chapter Text

PJ resolved to focus on her career and to bury herself in work to escape the heartache. That proved to be hard, because her work was often interrupted by a new hater/admirer.

“Hey! PJ, your outfit is nice, where do you buy your clothes?” Kane asked as she passed by a group of testers. They must have thought it was a joke and laughed. She walked on, ignoring them.

The next morning, Kane abruptly appeared in front of her, blocking her path. “PJ! I noticed your coffee cup was dirty so I washed it along with everyone else’s!” Kane said, smiling.

“Um, thanks I guess,” PJ muttered, weirded out, went around him to her office and washed her cup one extra time, just to be sure.

Another time, PJ discovered Kane siting on the floor right outside her office door when she opened it to go to the bathroom. She gasped in shock, as she was pretty sure she saw him cleaning the outside surface of her door.

“Hey PJ, I learned about accessibility, just like you asked! Your “play” button lacks an accessible name!” Kane said as he perked up upon seeing her. “And the contrast between your character name text and background is a bit too low! Here, let me show you!” and he almost walked inside, but PJ slammed the door in his face, freaked out.

Yet another time, she waited outside the building, waiting for her mom to pick her up. Her mom was late and PJ was getting worried.

“Hey!” Kane’s voice came from behind, and she jumped. “I see you’ve been standing here, waiting for 20 minutes already. I have a car, I can give you a ride home,” he offered, and his features twisted in a strange, desperate grimace behind the smile.

“No thanks,” PJ said, and moved away a step. “Why are you following me?”

Kane’s smile faded and he looked a the ground sadly. “I know I’m just a tester, but… Would you give me a chance and date me?” he almost whimpered.

“I’m not into men,” PJ replied, cringed involuntarily and averted her eyes, uncomfortable about the whole thing. Somehow Kane’s behavior was so self-deprecating that it inspired contempt instead of compassion.

Kane did not respond. Mercifully, PJ’s mom finally appeared, and PJ ran to her car and got inside. She watched Kane as they drove away. He stood motionless, following her with a dark look of hatred in his eyes.

Chapter Text

Kane typed furiously on his phone. It was a post on incel forums.

“Can’t take it anymore, boyos, that’s it for me. I’m ending my suffERing forever.”

He hit “post” and exhaled. A strange calm came over him as he realized his suffering would be over soon. His anxiety returned when he noticed that Remy watched him from behind the cubicle wall. Cold sweat ran down his back as he wondered if she noticed the site he was on. But then she yawned and turned to walk away. She probably saw nothing.

He wondered how he would go. For the past two years, he’s been hiding a gun inside his closet. It would be easy to use it on himself, but it would be a waste. He briefly wondered if he should shoot up his workplace, but cast such thoughts aside, as he had a few real friends there and didn’t want to accidentally kill them. He wondered if he should run people over with his Toyota, but felt unexcited about killing random people he didn’t know. Then he got a bright idea - he would stay at the office all night and wait for PJ and Remy to show up. They often came to work before anyone else. Then he would shoot them both, then himself, and let his body fall from the top floor and leave a gory blood stain on the asphalt below.

He put his plan into motion. Next day, he brought the gun to work in his backpack and waited. After the torturously slow workday was over and everyone left, he hid in his cubicle pretending to work, then went up on the roof to clear his head.

The night sky was so beautiful. The sunrise was already shining bright in the distance. It was a shame to leave this world and all the beauty that existed in it, but it was impossible to go on when he had no access to the beauty he yearned for.

Tears fell from his face. “I don’t want to leave! But I must…”

His thoughts turned to PJ and how much he hated her. He tried so hard. He gave her compliments. He did small acts of kindness towards her. He leveled up his technical skills. But she remained cold and impossible to impress. He wished he was just as smart, beautiful and confident, and a star like her, but it was never going to happen.

An evil smile crossed his face. He pulled out his phone and found PJ’s number.

“Hey PJ! You Will Never Be A Femoid!” he recorded the voice message and pushed “Send”. He laughed soundlessly, his laughter gradually morphing to crying.

It hurt to say those words.

“I… I will never be a femoid!…” he she cried, admitting what she has tried to repress for so long.

She sat down, feeling defeated, with her gun in her lap. Her parents would be so mad. And she was too ugly to transition anyway. There was nothing left to do, but go through with her plan.

Chapter Text

Kane got up, ready to head back to the office with gun in hand. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Remy standing on the roof with her. Remy stared at her with wide eyes as Kane lifted the gun and pointed it at her.

“I thought I’d find you here,” Remy said with a fearful smile.

Kane didn’t respond, only came closer, hand trembling. Actually killing someone was a big commitment.

“If you’re gonna go on a rampage, don’t you at least want to take what you want?” Remy said, trembling all over.

“What do you know about what I want?” Kane asked darkly. Then she remembered Remy watched her browse and post on incel forums.

“Nobody will come to my rescue here, on this roof…” Remy whispered, and slowly took her jacket off. “Just try me, before you kill me…” she whimpered as she pulled her stockings down her legs beneath her skirt. “I always thought you were cute!..” she exclaimed as her eyes glistened.

Kane looked at her, bewildered. Remy came closer and closer, until the gun pressed against her stomach. Remy reached out her hand and trailed it across Kane’s cheek and chest. Kane grabbed her hand and threw it off, disgusted.

“Stop pretending to like me, your act sucks,” Kane said, and pushed Remy onto the cold concrete floor.

She loomed over Remy, but stopped, not sure if she should go on. She never planned to rape anyone and wasn't sure how to, but Remy made her so angry that she jumped onto her and pinned her to the floor. She planned to end both their lives soon after, anyway.

She spread Remy’s legs and fumbled with her girldick, but got it in eventually. She never had too much bottom dysphoria and was ambivalent about her cock in her sexual fantasies, but, in this situation, it felt fitting to use it this way. Remy moaned and writhed beneath her, making a bit too much noise while she was being railed.

“Be quiet,” Kane ordered, and put her hand on Remy’s throat. The moans ceased. Remy’s face turned red and her eyes soon rolled to the back of her head. Yet through all of this abuse, she turned her head with the last of her strength and caressed the barrel of the gun with her lips, kissing it lovingly.

“Why…” Kane sobbed, feeling disgusted with herself. She was starting to believe Remy’s act. She fucked her, in tears, until she came. She felt Remy’s kisses caress her ear. “Why are you like this?.. Do you really think I’m cute?”

She got off her victim and sat on the floor next to her, while Remy caught up on her breath, sat up and did her best to get dressed and clean herself up.

“I do,” she said, “Whatever lead you to this, I can try to help.”

“Nobody can help me,” Kane sighed. “I’m.. not a man. But I can’t be a woman. If I try to transition, I’ll be ugly anyway, I’ll get botched, end up with chronic pain, my parents will kick me out, then I’ll lose my job and kill myself.”

“That’s one heck of a prediction,” Remy said. “You won’t get botched. I’ll hook you up with my surgeon. He’s really good. With his help, I went from ugly to hot. He made me the masterpiece I am today!” Remy smiled.

“Okay,” Kane said, feeling hopeful for once on her life.

Chapter Text

Remy took Kane home with her after that night, and called in sick for both of them. Kane sat on the kitchen chair and looked at the ground, glass-eyed.

“Kane? Are you hungry?” Remy asked.

“Amber,” Kane Amber said softly. “Can you please call me that from now on? But only when we’re alone.. for now. I hate Kane. I always wanted to be Amber.”

“Okay,” Remy smiled. “Amber? I like it,” and she turned around with some sandwiches on a plate, and two cups of coffee.

“I’m sorry I raped you,” Amber said guiltily.

“You didn’t,” Remy smiled sweetly. “I knew your plans. I saw you posting them in incel forums.”

Amber stared at her in shock. “Why didn’t you call the police?”

“No need to call the police for what I can solve myself.”

“… I could have killed you,” Amber near-whispered.

“But you didn’t,” Remy retorted.

“But why would you do this?” Amber asked, dizzy with adrenaline comedown and confusion.

“I liked you since I first saw you,” Remy replied.

“What about PJ? You dated her!” Amber asked with suspicion.

“You didn’t seem to respond to my flirting, so I dated her, but.. she was arrogant. A bitch. So I dumped her,” Remy explained. “You, on the other hand,” Remy’s eyes lit up and pupils dilated as she looked at Amber, and Amber involuntarily shuddered. “You.. are humble.”

Amber inched away from Remy, who moved closer. “What do you plan to do to me?” she asked, regretting how accusatory it sounded, but at the same time worried Remy would eventually report the incident to the police.

“Nothing bad,” Remy laughed innocently and moved away again. “I’ll introduce you to my surgeon.”

“Are you… trans?” Amber asked carefully.

“No…” Remy said, “I was just really ugly before. I’ll prove it,” she continued, when she saw disbelief in Amber’s eyes. Remy took out her phone and opened Instagram. “Here, look at my accounts.”

Amber’s eyes widened as she scrolled through one account, featuring Remy’s thirst traps with thousands of likes, then switched to the alternative account, last updated 3 years ago. It had very few pictures, most of them group and family photos, as well as boring pics of food and landscapes nobody cares about. Amber struggled to find Remy in them, but soon recognized that the chubby girl with crooked teeth, acne, a big potato nose, thin lips and no curves was her. Amber felt a surge of optimism. If Remy’s surgeon could make her look so naturally hot, there was hope for her, too.

“There is one more thing I want from you…” Remy broke Amber out of her concentrated scrolling.

“What is that?” she asked.

“Be my girlfriend.”

“…just like that?” Amber asked, shocked.

“Yes, it’s that simple,” Remy smiled.

“Ok,” Amber exhaled an insecure laugh. If she was honest with herself, she would have loved to have a girlfriend, especially someone like Remy.

“Thank you!” Remy smiled angelically and threw her arms around Amber, thinking of all the things she planned to do to her. She always wanted to own a human doll to dress up and play with.

Chapter Text

*flashback one*

It was summer. Remy was 10 years old, and not yet ugly. That summer, her parents sent her to a summer camp for the summer vacation.

While the camp counselors weren’t looking, boys would play a game where a whole gang of them would catch one girl and not let go of her until she kissed all of them on the lips. Most girls would get upset and try to break out without kissing anyone, but not Remy. She got caught as many times as she could, and planted a wet one on everyone’s face. The boys eventually got weirded out and stopped catching Remy, which made her sad.

*flashback two*

Remy sat in her college dorm and killed people in video games under a male username, killing female characters especially much, probably giving male gamers everywhere a bad reputation. There was homework to do, but Remy wasn’t known for her discipline, and was a C and D student as a result.

She was 20 years old. She’s been ugly for 7 years.

Her phone made a sound, and Remy looked at it. There was a message. Remy was surprised. She was a lazy asocial slob and never got any messages from anyone.

“You’re cute! I love gamer girls. We should meet up sometime”

The message was from Dave, a local straight A student, gaming god and gigachad from Remy’s computer science class. The message warmed Remy’s heart and she responded.

“I think you’re cute, too. Want to meet after class tomorrow?”

He didn’t reply until hours later. The message was:

“WTF, I didn’t send you the message.”

Remy stared at the phone blankly for several minutes. And just like that, she realized she was a victim of a smishing prank. Dave would never ask her out, he was a gigachad and a genius after all, and she was just an ugly girl with average IQ.

Later that year, Dave received third-degree burns on 40 percent of his body when his car spontaneously combusted while he sat in it in the parking lot, and he dropped out of school and had to have a long recovery and lots and lots of skin grafts.

Chapter Text

PJ had a very busy, eventful workday and did not discover the voice message until it was over. Anxiety washed over her when she saw it was from her stalker, but opened it anyway.

The stalker’s voice was obscured by wind, but PJ understood the message.

“Mr. Cheezle! Kane sent me a transphobic message!” PJ complained, showing the message to her boss.

“Oh, I’m so sorry this happened, PJ, I will talk to him and take necessary measures,” Mr. Cheezle said, and called the employee he knew as Kane to his office.

Amber showed up, holding hands with Remy.

“What is she doing here?” PJ asked, seeing her ex with her stalker.

“I’m here for emotional support,” Remy said.

“Alright,” Mr. Cheezle nodded, and took a seat between PJ and the couple. “Kane, you sent a transphobic message to PJ. What have you got to say for yourself?”

“Mr. Cheezle…” Amber began, “I… admit I did this. But I sincerely regret it. I know it was wrong. I did it during a crisis. Truth is… I’m a transgender woman… PJ,” she said, turning to PJ with a pitiful expression. “I’m really sorry. It was just internalized transphobia talking!..”

“Well, that’s convenient!..” PJ scoffed, not convinced, and extremely uncomfortable with the sight of her ex sitting there, with her arms around the stalker so lovingly and supportively. “You don’t believe that, do you, Mr. Cheezle? He’s obviously lying so he can continue to send me slurs and get away with it!”

“I believe her, PJ. After all, you came out similarly yourself. And, as you are aware, we have a strict policy against misgendering colleagues, so both of you will have to undergo 5 mandatory hours of sensitivity training.”

“Are you serious?” PJ said in disbelief, but Mr. Cheezle didn’t want to hear any of it and dismissed them all.

Amber and Remy just looked at each other and shrugged, relieved Amber didn’t get fired.

Chapter Text

PJ and Amber sat in their chairs as they watched an LGBTQ+ sensitivity training video and answered multiple choice questions based on it. Amber was wearing nail polish, a colorful hair clip and eyeliner publicly for the first time in her life, which convinced PJ she was serious about the whole trans thing.

“Observe Jim. Please write where Jim went wrong,” the narrator of the video said.

The video featured a typical office. A man in glasses came up to another man holding a cup of coffee.

“Hello, faggot,” Jim said casually.

PJ and Amber looked at each other wearily, but wrote their answers.

“Next example!” the narrator continued speaking, and the scene changed to the same man in glasses, standing a few feet away from a woman.

“Jane is transgender. How should Jim start a conversation with Jane?”

A. “Hi, Jane! Nice shirt!”

B. “Good morning, Jane!”

C. “Hello, faggot”

PJ passed her hand over her eyes and Amber sank into her shoulders as they wrote their answers.

“Alright, that’s enough for now, let’s take a coffee break!” The HR leader said, and went out of the room to refill his cup.

“This is insulting, and ridiculous,” PJ said. “We, of all people, shouldn’t have to do this.”

“I know. It’s more like insensitivity training, am I right?” Amber allowed herself to chuckle, encouraged by PJ’s acceptance, but still afraid of her wrath.

“Yeah..” PJ sighed. “This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t hit me with a transphobic meme over the phone. That really hurt, you know!” she said angrily.

“I’m sorry!..” Amber whined. “I regret it. I didn’t mean it. To be honest though, you really hurt my feelings too when you blew me off and told me my game improvement ideas were bad. I was just trying to be helpful and wanted you to like me.”

PJ’s expression softened. “Oh. Sorry, I thought you were pointing out everything I did wrong to mess with me, I guess,” she said, looking a little guilty.

“It’s okay,” Amber replied, relieved. “Are you still mad at me?”

PJ thought about it for a minute. “No,” she stated. “I still don’t like you that way though,” she made sure to add.

“It’s okay, I don’t like you that way anymore either,” Amber sighed. “Sorry about stalking you. I went a little crazy I guess. I confused wanting to be you, with wanting to be with you.”

“Sorry Amber, nobody can be me,” PJ said. “I’m one of a kind.”

“Yeah whatever,” Amber chuckled.

The HR leader went back into the room and the lesson continued.

Chapter Text

Amber looked at herself in the mirror. She did not yet pass, but several months on HRT and electrolysis on her face were starting to really kick in. Her dark hair grew longer, so she started to gain confidence.

“I want to try wearing girl clothes in public. But I don’t have any,” she sighed. Ever since she came out to her parents, they were unhappy with her and the relationship with them has become strained. They didn’t cut her off or kick her out, but didn’t take her gender seriously and constantly nagged for her to “stop being silly”, so she moved in with Remy and stopped asking them for financial help to escape the negative atmosphere at home. She badly wanted a whole new wardrobe of cute clothes, but it would cost a fortune.

“Hmm,” Remy said, “I still have all my clothes from when I was bigger. You can try them! They might be short, but some might fit.”

“Really?” Amber perked up. “I would love that.”

Remy brought some boxes from the basement and let Amber rummage through them.

Amber looked through the clothes. She was only medium tall, but still six inches taller than Remy, who was tiny. Although the clothes weren’t very trendy and some were too short, many of the dresses and skirts fit. Amber picked out her favorites - a pastel peach dress and a short black jacket.

“Very nice,” Remy sent her an appreciative look, but Amber was not happy with what she saw in the mirror.

“No, I can’t wear that! People are gonna laugh!”

“Wait, don’t despair,” Remy said reassuringly. “Come here.”

Amber sat next to Remy and sighed, feeling sad. Remy took a small makeup bag out of her backpack and lifted Amber’s chin with her soft fingers.

“Your skin is so soft and flawless,” she sighed, as she inspected Amber’s face, sending shivers down Amber’s back. “I don’t think we’ll be needing that,” she said as she put foundation away.

“Oooh, this will look soooo hot,” she half-whispered as she took out an eye pencil, mascara and eye-shadow. Amber had to resist the urge to squeeze her eyes shut defensively as no one but herself has ever applied makeup on her eyes before, but Remy was so gentle and professional that the urge soon subsided.

“Some lip gloss tint won’t hurt,” Remy said, and applied it to Amber’s lips. Amber noted it had cherry flavor, the same flavor Remy smelled like when she was close.

“Now your hair,” Remy smiled, and took out a brush. She changed something about the placement of the hair and applied a few hair clips. “Now close your eyes.” Amber closed her eyes as Remy sprayed some hair spray.

When she opened her eyes, she saw Remy biting her lip and sighing, admiring her handiwork with a loving look. Amber blushed.

“Now look,” Remy gestured to the mirror.

Amber looked in the mirror again and got a small jolt of adrenaline, in a good way. Somehow, Remy’s little makeover worked, and now the person in the mirror was a relatively cute girl.

“Wow. I think I can go out like that,” Amber smiled nervously. “Thank you for helping me, Remy. Not gonna lie, without you I would be dead.”

“Don’t mention it,” Remy smiled.

“You are my whole world,” Amber said softly.

“Oooohhh,” Remy sighed giddily, hoping she could stay Amber’s whole world forever.

Chapter Text

Amber anxiously entered her workplace the next morning, dolled up by Remy, wondering what her colleagues would think. They knew she was transitioning, but so far still treated her as one of the bros cuz she was in boymode.

She hunched over, trying to look as invisible as possible, but the other testers still saw her and stared. She reached her cubicle and sat next to Barry, who also stared.

“Hey,” Amber smiled sheepishly. To her dismay, her voice was always out of practice in the morning, so it broke and she had to clear her throat and repeat herself to be heard.

“Hey,” Barry said. “Nice dress,” he gave her an awkward thumbs up and smiled, trying to be encouraging.

“Thanks,” Amber blushed, embarrassed but relieved, and turned her laptop on, to start her work day.

During break she went to the break room to watch her coworkers compete with each other as usual, and noticed there was a lot less cursing in the room once she went in. She was unsure if it was a bad or a good thing.

Chapter Text

Remy watched Amber change, knowing it was all her doing. It was a huge thrill to shape and modify a human being however she wanted. In a different life, Remy hoped she would be smart and disciplined enough to be a surgeon, as it felt like the perfect job for her. In this life, she contented herself with being a mental surgeon. And hooking Amber up with her own plastic surgeon.

Amber has been living with Remy for eight months, and noticed Remy’s peculiarities. Remy was obsessed with dressing and making her up, which at times felt a bit creepy. And although Remy loved teaching her beauty tricks and loved doing her hair and applying her makeup, which was a very relaxing activity Amber enjoyed, Remy was also a total pillow princess in bed. Amber didn’t mind. She still hated her body and didn’t really want Remy to touch it, apart from cuddling in bed wearing pajamas.

Remy more than made up for that by letting her do whatever she wanted to her. No matter what toy or idea Amber suggested, Remy’s eyes would light up and she’d let her try it. Amber had a lot of wicked ideas, and so did Remy.

They tried spanking. Amber got a bit carried away one time and the next few days Remy had to work standing up. Luckily Mr. Cheezle invested in adjustable standing desks for all employees.

Another time they tried light choking, which resulted in Remy’s delicate neck skin getting bruised. She wore a scarf to cover it up, which looked very cute on her.

Another time Remy expressed a desire to be played with while sleeping, which they tried. At first it wasn’t working, because Remy kept waking up. To fix the problem, she got really drunk and let Amber do whatever she wanted. Amber would never forget playing with Remy’s semi-unconscious body. She was warm and moaned quietly in half-sleep, but was as pliant as a doll and as inanimate as a corpse. There was something comforting about this type of intimacy, Amber could be with her girlfriend without being watched and only vaguely being perceived. Amber took the opportunity to lie next to Remy and put her soft, warm hands on her face and her body, and felt her touch without feeling ugly. Yet deep down in her soul, Remy’s lack of fear and limits freaked Amber out. She was afraid they’d go too far one day, and someone might get seriously hurt.

Chapter Text

One day Amber returned home from a doctor’s appointment. “I have bad news and good news,” she said.

“What are the bad news?” Remy asked.

“My insurance doesn’t cover your surgeon for SRS. It only covers another guy, who doesn’t have as good reviews…”

“Oh..” Remy said, a bit disappointed. “And the good news?”

“It does cover him for top surgery and FFS.”

“That’s good.”

“I think I’m fine with it though,” Amber shrugged. “I’m not sure I want bottom surgery. I think things are fine… the way they are.”

“I’m cool with whatever you choose,” Remy said.

The time came, and Amber had a boob job and a FFS. Mr. Cheezle was understanding and let her and Remy have time off work to recover.

It hurt a lot and took time to heal, but Remy helped Amber with everything until she could be more independent, and comforted her when she felt like her facial surgery made her look bad.

Eventually, Amber noticed that things started settling, the swelling went down and scars started fading, revealing remarkably beautiful features underneath. The more time passed, the more she looked more and more like Remy.

They went shopping together and bought matching outfits. They went to a hair stylist and got matching haircuts. Remy got platform shoes with thick heels, while Amber wore flats. That way, even their height matched.

“Wow, it’s like looking in the mirror. Twinsies!” Remy grinned, and her eyes sparkled as she looked at Amber.

Amber’s expression matched Remy’s. She didn’t feel ugly for the first time in her life. They made out right in the changing room, and each of them felt like they were engaging in selfcest.

Chapter Text

One day Amber sat in her cubicle when PJ unexpectedly approached and began speaking without asking Amber if she was busy, ripping her out of her concentration.

“Hey, you have some programming skills, don’t you?”

“Uh, yeah, a little, I’ve been learning..” Amber said shyly.

“GitHub, C+++, test automation, refactoring, any of that ring a bell?”

“Yeah, why?” Amber replied.

PJ smirked. “Then here is your great chance to have me as your mentor! How does working with me as a junior developer sound?”

“Huh? You want to work… with me?” Amber stared at PJ, wide-eyed.

“Yes, you’re very dedicated, now what do you say?”

“Yes!” Amber beamed, and jumped to her feet in excitement, almost knocking the chair over.

They went to PJ’s office, where PJ showed Amber all the work she wanted Amber to do.

“Alex’s spaghetti code hasn’t been cleaned up in years,” PJ sighed and rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, I’ll review your work to make sure you don’t fuck up too badly… But, you won’t, you have an eye for detail, don’t you? Also, my code needs better documentation. If you can’t figure it out, just ask me and I’ll tell you what each part means. Oh, and can you test these components for accessibility? Oh, and can you make some automated tests for this, and this, so each time we deploy nothing bad happens?”

“Uhuh, yeah… mmhm,” Amber said as she nodded, frantically making notes and trying to remember everything.

“Understood?”

“Yeah,” Amber looked at PJ and nodded uncertainly, feeling her brain strain under the weight of the information.

“Good,” PJ smiled.

PJ let Amber move her own desk and chair into her office. On the inside, she was just glad to finally free herself of the bulk of the boring menial tasks Alex was making her do.

“Oh my god, she let me near the code!.. ” Amber thought with excitement as she started carefully looking into the code. “I’m gonna be a real programmer! I’m not worthless, I have a purpose!”

Outside Amber and PJ’s office, Remy stood still, observing them, her face betraying no emotion.

Chapter Text

Working with PJ was hard. The learning curve was steep. Amber poured all her effort and intelligence into her work, as she so badly wanted to be skilled. Not to mention she didn’t want to disappoint her mentor.

One day she ate lunch with PJ to make sure she didn’t miss out on any knowledge. When she returned to her cubicle, Remy was there, eating an extra spicy portion of ramen. Remy looked up from her soup with an unreadable expression.

“Remy!” Amber squeaked. “I’m sorry I ate lunch with PJ today, I just wanted to learn as much as possible.”

“You can eat with whomever you want,” Remy said.

“Is it alright if I do that more often?” Amber asked nervously, and smiled. “I think this is my chance! I will become a real developer, and then you won’t have to pay my rent anymore!”

Remy lowered her gaze into her meal. “You can do whatever you want. But I wouldn’t get your hopes up, if I were you. I know PJ. She will likely dump all the work on you, give you no credit, and get rid of you once she gets bored of you.”

Amber’s face fell. “Oh.. It’s probably still worth it. I’ll take my chances.”

“Be my guest,” Remy chuckled. Amber grimaced. There was something contemptuous in her tone, which made Amber sad.

Remy was fuming. Amber spent more and more time with PJ, ignoring her more and more. Amber grew mentally stronger under Remy’s “care”, and was currently escaping through her fingers. And worst of all, it was her successful ex causing all this.

Dark thoughts consumed Remy every day.

How dare she. I made her! She’d be nothing without me.

Haw dare she. Trying to take what doesn’t belong to her.

How dare they.

Remy knew she had to do something about the situation, and do it soon.

Chapter Text

Alex and Jeff stopped to talk after a work meeting.

“How is Samantha doing in New York?” Jeff asked. After finishing her work on E.D.S. 3 Samantha went back to New York to work on other projects.

“Not bad,” Alex said.

“Any plans to move in together?”

“We’re not sure who should move yet,” Alex shrugged. “We both have good jobs where we are, but we’ll figure it out.”

“Must be hard to live so far apart though?” Jeff said. “I mean, how do you bang?”

Alex frowned at his friend’s bluntness. “Oh, we have an arrangement, for the time being,” he replied. “We can both sleep with others… other women, that is.”

“Nice arrangement,” Jeff said, impressed. “Is it working for you?”

“Yeah, I’d say so,” Alex smiled enigmatically. “I have this one chick I’ve known for a long time, who I like to spend time with…”

“I hope it’s not just your grandma again,” Jeff said.

“It’s not,” Alex smiled. “What about you? How are things doing with Grace?” Alex asked.

“We do alright,” Jeff replied.

Chapter Text

Work at Brainasium grind to a halt due to Mr. Cheezle’s terrible management skills, so Mr. Cheezle called his secret weapon for help.

“Samantha! I’m so glad we could have you here again. Your skills are in demand,” he greeted the blond woman in his office.

“I’m glad to be back,” Samantha smiled.

“Hey Sam,” Alex smiled when he saw Samantha enter the open office space.

“Hey Alex,” Samantha smiled, then hugged and kissed him. “I’m gonna go greet everyone,” she winked and went to the break room where everyone was currently playing games and having fun. On her way there, her eyes lingered on the office next to Alex’s. PJ looked at her, then quickly closed the door. Sam exhaled, hoping PJ wasn’t planning to renew her creepy interest in her.

The break room was full of familiar faces of testers, and two unfamiliar ones.

“Hey! I’m Samantha!” Sam said as she offered her hand to the two new girls, and they each shook it.

“Nice to meet you!” Remy smiled as she shook Samantha’s hand, analyzing her grip strength and every little body movement, as she always did with new people.

“We’ve met before,” Amber rolled her eyes and laughed. “It’s me, “Kane”,” she explained sheepishly.

“Oh!” Sam gasped. “Sorry, I recognize you now,” she smiled. “I see there have been lots of changes around here.”

“Oh definitely,” Amber said, and began updating Samantha on it.

Chapter Text

Samantha quickly whipped everyone into shape and the production of Alex’s new game was quickly back on schedule.

When Sam wasn’t busy working, she engaged in making fun of PJ along with everyone else. Alex secretly started a Kiwifarms thread on her and told his friends about it. Samantha, Alex and almost all the testers secretly took pictures of PJ, documented her social media activity, wrote down dumb things she said and posted it all on the Kiwifarms thread. Misgendering wasn’t a part of the plan, but since it was the norm on Kiwifarms, everyone did it.

“He’s really dumb IRL. Last week he had the flu, and told everyone he caught a computer virus and had to debug himself. Honestly, I never met anyone dumber, who can still program.”

“Don’t trust the pictures on social media. He uses filters and angle-frauds a lot. As someone who met him IRL I can attest that he smells very, very bad, and doesn’t pass.”

“I talked to someone who used to work with him. All the rumors are true - you can’t reveal any good ideas within his earshot, he will invariably use them himself, and take the credit.”

Amber and Remy were the only ones not in on it. Alex didn’t tell Amber because she was his friend and he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. And Remy wasn’t told, because she’d reveal everything to Amber if she was.

Chapter Text

PJ and Amber sat in PJ’s office, fixing a stubborn bug long after everyone went home.

“You’re not terrible at this,” PJ said, inspecting Amber’s solution with a narrow-eyed look.

“Thanks!” Amber chirped with a grin. From PJ, this was high praise. “Oh!” she gasped, looking at the clock. “It’s 8 already?.. I better go home,” she said mostly to herself.

“See you,” PJ shrugged, and waved to Amber as she swept her bag off the floor and ran to the elevator.

Amber drove her car home, feeling a vague sense of unease. She was so preoccupied with her work that she didn’t even notice Remy leave. Remy never left without saying goodbye before.

Amber reached her front door and opened it with trepidation. It was dark inside, apart from a dim light coming from a crack in the door to her and Remy’s bedroom.

“Remy?..” Amber asked timidly, opening the door slightly and peeking inside. What she saw made her heart drop.

Her girlfriend was on the bed, face down. Her shoulders shook in silent sobs.

“Remy…” Amber stretched out a hand to her as she approached.

Remy turned her head, revealing a red, tear-stained, furious face.

“Don’t touch me!” she snapped. “I waited for you for hours! And you… you were so busy laughing with your precious mentor that you didn’t even notice that I left!..”

“Remy, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to!” Amber stuttered an apology, but Remy cut her off.

“I know what this is. You like her,” Remy’s eyes darkened and she sat up.

“No…” Amber shook her head, her insides hurting from Remy’s piecing gaze of cold suspicion. “I just don’t want to be a poor tester forever. I want to make money, make something… do something meaningful! I want to be a game developer. Please, believe me!”

“Oh, is there something wrong with being a tester?” Remy chuckled mirthlessly.

“That’s not what I meant!” Amber protested. “There’s nothing wrong with it! But I’ve been working as a tester way too long. Sometimes… this job makes me want to die.”

“After everything I gave you… you still want to die?” Remy’s lip quivered.

“Without you I would be dead,” Amber whispered, “But I want more… for myself. And for you. Anything I earn will be used to make you happy. I owe you my life, you know how much I want to repay you.”

Remy stared at her for several long seconds. “I don’t believe you. I’m starting to think you are like all the others… letting me pay for everything, while you go on late night dates.”

“I’m not like all the others,” Amber shrank under Remy’s judgement. She didn’t know who all those “others” were, but didn’t want to be like them. “I would never cheat! I care about you, Remy..”

“Then stop talking to PJ, stop having lunch with her every day and stop coming home late from work from your little dates,” Remy snapped, got up and walked out of the room.

Amber stood stiffly, feeling adrenaline and stress surge through her body, feeling like what little life she managed to build for herself was slowly crashing down.

Next day Remy and Amber went to work together. Not a word passed between them.

“So… what are you gonna do?” Remy asked.

Amber sighed heavily. “This is my chance to finally get a job I actually like… Please don’t make me choose between it and you, Remy,” she begged.

“But you must,” Remy said coldly.

Chapter Text

Remy sat at her desk, looking pissed and concentrated, testing the video game with extreme precision as always. A small smile crossed her lips. Amber would stop seeing PJ, but it would take a little work.

Alex, Samantha and all the testers went out for beer the first Friday after getting their pay. Remy hovered around Samantha and Alex as they all got tipsy, relaxed, had fun and talked about their lives.

“What you are looking at here is the only person that has beaten me at any game at Brainasium, and probably will be for a long time,” Alex sighed, and Remy giggled.

“I’m impressed,” Sam raised an eyebrow.

Alex went to buy more beer, leaving his girlfriend alone with Remy.

“Yasss queen, slay,” Samantha laughed with Remy, “finally a woman put this man in his place.”

“I know, right?” Remy swayed, beer can in hand, feeling a lot less drunk that she let on.

“We should have more women in the game industry,” Sam said, suddenly serious. “Representation. Empowerment. Cultural evolution. That’s how we generate positive synergy.”

“Totally,” Remy nodded in total incomprehension. “We should play a game together sometime,” Remy lightly tapped Sam’s shoulder. “Like, be a team in those two vs two shooter matches, I bet we’d beat most guys there!”

“Yeah, maybe,” Sam snorted, “I’m a bit rusty though. What happened to your usual team mate though? Where’s Amber? I haven’t seen much of her this week,” Sam asked.

“Oh, her,” Remy’s expression darkened, “She’s probably hanging out with PJ.. as always.”

“Oh, okay,” Samantha didn’t question further, noticing the change in mood.

“Not that I’m jealous,”  Remy said defensively, “I’m just worried PJ has a bad influence on her.”

Sam nodded. Her eyes scanned the room, looking for Alex, who was taking his time bringing that beer. She found him next to the bar, chatting with a cute redheaded barista.

Remy followed Sam’s gaze, noting the momentary microexpression of discomfort in her face, which quickly turned to her usual curated confidence as she turned to Remy and smiled.

“They are flirting,” Remy stated flatly.

“Alex is charming,” Sam shook her head and laughed it off. “But even if he was flirting, it’d be alright.”

“Home come?” Remy narrowed her eyes.

“Things are non-exclusive until we move in together,” Sam stated simply as she sipped the last of her beer at the bottom of the glass. “We can both… explore other women,” Samantha laughed awkwardly, noticing Remy’s incredulous look. “Keeps things easy. Simple.”

“Really?..” Remy probed, her lips curling into a smile. “I don’t think I could do that… Aren’t you jealous?”

“Not at all,” Sam grinned. “To each his own, but I don’t think keeping your body reserved for one person for the rest of your life is the definition of love,” she shrugged.

“Oh interesting. I guess there’s some truth to that,” Remy grinned, holding back a laugh.

“Poor thing. That man has tricked her into a one-sided deal… one she can’t leave without admitting she’s not as liberated as she pretends to be... This is going to be fun.”

“Hey,” Alex interrupted Remy’s train of pleasant thoughts. He thrust a can of beer into Remy’s hands. “Looks like my charm won me a free drink,” he winked at Sam, who grinned back at him and accepted a tall glass of beer from him.

Remy stood on a top of a mountain, her hand extended to the phone that took the selfie. Behind her was Samantha, waving at the camera. The image was blurry from Amber’s tears and inability to hold the phone without shaking. Her fingers scrolled the Instagram feed, picture after picture of her girlfriend having fun with someone else passed in front of her eyes. Remy and Samantha having lunch together. Remy and Samantha in escape rooms together. Remy and Samantha going shopping together, wearing matching clothes, with Remy making a sexy face at the camera and Sam making a silly one.

Chapter Text

“Your performance is slipping,” PJ’s voice pulled Amber out of her thoughts.

“Huh?” Amber looked up from her screen, anxiously.

“You’re slower. Unfocused. Less accurate. I’m saying, you haven’t been as effective as usual,” PJ explained. “What’s in the way of your progress?”

“N-nothing,” Amber said.

“Denying problems never solved anything,” PJ frowned. “The faster we get to the bottom of it, the faster you can assist me properly again, now what is it?”

“Oh…” Amber exhaled, “It’s just… Remy. She thinks I’m trying to cheat on her… with you , of all people!” Amber chuckled. PJ frowned, looking herself over.

“I tried to convince her I’m not, I gave her passwords to my social media and even my phone code, but she doesn’t believe me! She wants me to stop talking to you,” Amber shook her head. “And now she stopped talking to me and is hanging out with Samantha all the time!..” Amber’s voice wavered, notes of despair seeping through. “PJ, you dated her, tell me what you did, that made her leave! I can’t afford to lose her…”

PJ’s eye twitched lightly, her mouth pressed into a line. “Ah. Remy. All I did wrong was being too rich and brilliant, she told me so. I think she just can’t tolerate winners.”

Amber suppressed an eye roll. “Yeah, right.”

“You don’t believe me?” PJ’s voice jumped in pitch. “I took this woman out to exclusive restaurants! I gave her an iPad! I treated her like a queen. I didn’t talk to other women, or… people in general. There was nothing I did wrong! And there is probably nothing you can do. …apart from becoming a loser again.”

“Alright, I believe you,” Amber said hastily, seeing PJ get worked up, then smiled. “You really think I’m a winner now?”

“You’re on the way there,” PJ corrected.

“Oh my god, thanks, this means a lot to me!..” Amber beamed, then sighed heavily. “I don’t know what to do anymore... But thanks. For asking,” Amber smiled wearily.

“Don’t get any ideas, I just don’t want my assistant unit malfunctioning,” PJ averted her eyes and kept typing.

“‘Assistant unit’? Is that what I am now?” Amber chuckled. “In any case.. thanks.”

Chapter Text

Amber walked home, each footstep heavy and laden with ever-increasing dread.

Remy gave her love. Support. Stability. A reason to keep going. And now it was all in danger of unraveling.

Amber thought with horror about what would happen if she lost Remy. She’d be single again, probably forever. She’d have to go back to her parents, and have to survive their invalidation all alone.

“Ok, I’ll just stop talking to PJ, it’s no big deal… I’ll have other opportunities..”

The thought was deceptively calming, until it was replaced by thoughts of still being stuck in QA in 10 years, her talents wasted, estranged from her family, and buckling under the pressure of poverty and new health problems. Amber’s blood ran cold, and she hugged herself for warmth and comfort that didn’t come.

“No, I can’t!.. I can’t!” she raked her fingernails along her bare arms. The physical pain let a bit of emotional pain out, leaving long, red marks.

“I can’t choose! There is no way out!…” Amber whispered as tears ran down her face and her mind spun in a loop of panic.

“…become a loser again,” PJ’s words echoed in her memory.

Amber let out a choked, manic laugh.

Remy jolted as the bedroom door opened and slammed against the wall. Amber stood in the doorframe, her mascara smeared, her arms covered with dry blood and red, raw scratches.

“Remy!” she exclaimed, voice full of desperation, “please don’t leave me!! And don’t make me give up career opportunities! I NEED you… and I NEED this chance! If I lose either…I’LL KILL MYSELF!!!”

She collapsed to her knees and sobbed uncontrollably in front of Remy, who stared at her in shock. Amber faced the floor, anticipating the worst.

“I.. I didn’t know it mattered to you so much,” Remy near-whispered. “I believe you…”

Amber felt Remy’s warm hands gently stroke her hair and cup her chin. Amber lifted her gaze to face her. When she did, she met the face she remembered from better days - loving and full of tender affection. Remy looked at her the same way she did when she applied makeup on her for the first time.

“Don’t cry,” Remy whispered, “It’s okay.”

Amber threw her arms around Remy, sobbing and trembling in relief.

“So… you don’t mind? I can keep learning from PJ?” she asked.

“Yes… I misunderstood. I”m sorry,” Remy replied.

“I knew you’d believe me!..” Amber laughed through tears. “Haha, our first fight, and we resolved it!”

“It brought us closer together, huh?” Remy chuckled, and squeezed Amber tighter.

Chapter Text

Samantha, Alex, PJ, Mr. Cheezle and all the testers sat at a table in a large meeting room, while an old Eastern-European lady was standing with her eyes closed and palms outward, whispering, blessing the room.

“That’ll keep away the evil entity in the shape of a gnome,” Mr. Cheezle explained as the old lady retreated. “Got any news for me, Samantha?”

“Production of Demonik 2 is back on schedule, Mr. Cheezle,” Samantha said.

“Excellent,” Mr. Cheezle smiled. “I think it’s cause for celebration. Samantha, why don’t you take everyone out for dinner tomorrow? Go to Our Lady Health, it seems you guys loved that restaurant last time.”

“Haha, sure,” Samantha laughed, thinking of their last outing where they skipped the vegan restaurant Mr. Cheezle picked and spent the dinner money on fast food and cheap beer.

Amber was excited for the party, while her mentor looked glum.

“I don’t think I’ll join you, I have too much work to do,” PJ said.

“Really? What work can you possibly have now that we’re on schedule?” Amber asked.

“Important work,” PJ gave a non-answer.

“Hey, I’ll be there. And if you find it loud or annoying or whatever, you can leave at any time,” Amber smiled. “Come on, join us.”

PJ looked  at Amber. The way she smiled with her eyes, was something she has never noticed before.

“Alright,” PJ sighed.

“I think PJ might actually come to the party tomorrow,” Samantha muttered into Alex’s ear as they stood in the parking lot together. “She’s never joined us before.”

“Eh, in a large crowd she’ll be easy to ignore,” Alex reassured, putting a lock of hair behind her ear. “…or take recordings of her if she does anything stupid.”

Samantha looked at Alex with eyes full of mischief, a look he mirrored.

Remy was alone in her apartment. Amber was, as usual, working late.

Remy opened her closet and reached for the top shelf, aided by a small chair under her feet. Her hands found the small black shoebox. She sat down onto the bed and opened it, inspecting its contents.

“Ungrateful. Look at what you’re making me do,” she muttered under her breath. “…But it’s nothing I can’t fix,” she shrugged, took what she needed from the box, and put it back on the shelf.

Chapter Text

Alex’s grandma liked the last party her grandson organized so she didn’t mind hosting another.

Alex invited Dante, who brought his weed and his friends with him.

“What am I smoking, Dante?” Alex asked after taking a hit.

“You’re smoking the Brown Bomber,” Dante replied.

“Oh no, isn’t it the one that makes you shit your pants? You could have warned me,” Alex grimaced.

“Don’t worry, you shit your pants figuratively, not literally,” Dante laughed.

Amber walked inside, PJ not far behind her. Both of them did their best to appear relaxed while hiding tension. Amber’s eyes scanned the house for the sight of the familiar black bob haircut, while PJ’s eyes scanned the people talking over each other and socializing.

“I think I just saw Remy!” Amber exclaimed. “I’ll be right back. You’ll be fine on your own right?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” PJ shrugged, but felt instantly less comfortable once Amber ran off to meet her girlfriend. She stuffed her hands into the pockets of her trenchcoat and wandered around, not sure what to do next. A few coworkers briefly glanced her way and smiled, then kept talking to each other.

“Hey!” Amber called out, approaching Remy, who was busy doing something on the kitchen counter. Remy spun around, her eyes wide in surprise.

“Amber,” she exhaled and smiled.

“What are you up to?” Amber attempted to look behind her, but Remy leaned on the counter in such a way that Amber’s view was blocked by Remy’s body.

“Oh it’s nothing. You just surprised me.”

“I didn’t think you’d come..” Amber said. “But I’m glad you’re here,” she smiled, and encapsulated her in a tight, warm hug.

“Me too,” Remy ran her hand across Amber’s back and leaned her face into the crook of her neck.

“Um, PJ is here too, I hope it’s not a problem…” Amber asked anxiously.

“I told you, it’s not a problem at all,” Remy smiled.

Chapter Text

The party intensified, thanks to alcohol, weed, and good music.

“What is that? You’ll never beat me at anything at this rate,” Alex laughed, pointing at the alcoholic soda Samantha was holding, and took a shot of tequila.

“You’re not outdrinking me this time,” Samantha said as she discarded it and took a shot herself. It warmed her chest on the way down and hit her consciousness with a wave of euphoric relaxation and a bit of nausea. Samantha sighed. She would never win, but would rather black out before she admitted that.

“Ha, if anyone can win this game, it is me,” Remy said, and took a shot, too.

“Come on guys, drinking games? That’s been known to kill people,” Amber chuckled with a slight grimace, holding her beer.

Samantha turned her head to PJ, who sat a good few feet away from them, holding a cup of cold tea.

“What about you, PJ?” Sam asked as she leaned on one elbow, her movements somewhat sluggish. “Join us.”

“No thanks, I’m good,” PJ replied.

“Come on, relax, live a little,” Alex said. “You’ve been sitting in that spot like a creepy mannequin for half an hour. Have a beer with us!”

“Ooh, beer, I’ll bring some more!” Remy squealed in delight, and ran to the kitchen.

“I already had a few,” PJ lied unconvincingly.

Samantha rose to her feet and approached PJ. She leaned in way too close, with an intense look in her eyes, and sniffed the air like a predator. PJ shrunk into her seat.

“That is false,” Samantha calmly stated, and withdrew. Others laughed along with her while PJ did her best to look unperturbed.

“Here,” Remy said as she returned with a six pack and opened a bunch of cans with a loud crack and pop, and started handing them to people.

Remy watched closely as Sam took one can from her and shoved it in PJ’s hands.

“I don’t want it,” PJ protested, growing indignant.

“Hey it’s alright, you don’t have to. Just give it to me,” Amber took the can from PJ’s hands and brought it to her lips.

“Wait — “ Remy gasped, her eyes wide, and swiftly grabbed Amber’s arm so fast the liquid splashed into her face.

“Hey!” Amber protested.

“I already opened another for you, take it,” Remy gave her a different can leaving Amber awkwardly holding two identical cans.

Alex grabbed the extra one before Remy could stop him, as he felt entitled to it already, since he was sitting closest to Amber. He already had another can, but forgot he had it.

“No,” Sam swiftly grabbed a beer from him, “This one belongs to PJ and that’s final,” she said.

Remy grew increasingly more and more pale in the face as she struggled to follow which can was the one she so diligently “prepared” earlier in the kitchen today.

“We want you to have fun, too,” Samantha said. “Come on. What are you saving yourself for? Or perhaps you’re a lightweight?” she teased and lightly poked PJ’s arm, drawing giggles from nearby testers.

PJ narrowed her eyes. “No I’m not,” she said, grabbed the can decisively and downed it all in one go.

Samantha gasped.

“Wow, you are human after all,” Alex laughed and gave her an overly enthusiastic pat on the back. “To PJ’s newfound humanity,” he said, and the rest of the group clinked their drinks together and took swigs.

PJ exhaled, feeling proud of herself. For once, she felt cool.

Remy darted her eyes from one person to another, her can squeezed in her hand so hard it crinkled.

Chapter Text

Amber danced with Remy when the sound of breaking glass caught her attention. She turned her head.

PJ stood in the middle of the room, flexing the fingers that just moments ago held a glass of water.

“I can’t feel that…” she muttered.

“Whoa, are you ok?” Alex asked.

“I can’t… hear my robot voice anymore,” PJ replied, confused.

Alex snorted. “Now that’s progress.”

“No,” PJ groaned under her breath.

“Ok, who gave the lightweight weed?” Alex asked, and looked at Dante, who just shrugged.

PJ grabbed Alex’s shoulders and stared into his eyes with pupils like saucers. “We’re in the Matrix, Alex,” she said. “We have to get out before the agents are here!”

“Uuuuuuuuh,” Alex stared at her with a scared, incredulous expression, not sure what to say. She mercifully let go of Alex, and started running around the living room checking all the phones. It soon attracted attention of the people around her, who laughed in mild amusement.

“What the fuck’s happening?” Samantha stumbled towards Alex to see what the commotion was all about.

“Lightweight’s high.”

“Wow. And how many beers did she have?” Samantha asked, observing PJ’s poorly coordinated movements.

“Only one,” Alex shrugged, and took out his phone. “Anyway. I think this event deserves to be documented,” he smirked, and started filming.

PJ found no ways out of the Matrix and was growing increasingly panicked. She grew even more panicked when she noticed everyone’s eyes on her. They all looked at her with malicious amusement. She slowly walked over to the table, picked up the nearest potted plant, and threw it through the window, shattering it. The plant fell onto the asphalt two stories below.

“Hey, now, that’s enough! No troublemaking in my grandma’s house!” Alex said angrily, and made a move towards restraining PJ, but she pulled pepper spray out of her pocket and pointed it at him.

“Hey,” Sam said, approaching PJ slowly and carefully. “What’s wrong? Need any help?”

PJ’s eyes softened. “It’s too late, Samantha. This place is swarming with agents and there is no other way out.”

“What do you mean?” Samantha asked, her drunk brain working slowly to comprehend the meaning of PJ’s words. “Come on, if you want to leave, I’ll help you get home…” she said, extended her arm and took PJ by the hand. It felt hot and clammy. She gently pulled her in the direction of the stairs, but PJ wouldn’t budge.

“I can’t. They’re waiting for me,” she exhaled, wiping away hair stuck to her forehead.

“What a wet blanket….” Alex muttered under his breath, but PJ heard him and shot him an angry glare.

“Come on Alex, this is not normal…” Samantha scolded, concerned.

“No shit!” Alex agreed. “I’m not inviting her to any more house parties.”

“You’re all ugly, ok?” PJ said, hearing more and more sounds of disapproval from the crowd. “Alex, you sound like a normal person, in the worst way. Who is your mother? She’s nobody! I can speak in binary. You though, are an NPC who doesn’t even have internal dialogue. You’re ugly, ok?” she kept cursing him out, while Samantha was trying to pull her towards the exit.

“That’s it, I’m calling the police,” Alex snapped.

PJ heard that, and peppersprayed him. Alex screamed and covered his face and stumbled back, getting most of the spray on his clothes rather than his eyes. PJ ripped herself free from Samantha’s grip, ran straight for the window and jumped through it.

The party guests screamed.

“Oh my god. Oh my god!..” Alex ran a hand through his hair with a shaky hand. “We’re fucking going to jail.”

The party guests quickly realized shit hit the fan and began to hide their illicit substances, packing their stuff and leaving the house.

“Shit, we have to hide the black box. We have to hide the weed,” Alex paced the room, feeling a wave of paranoia hit him. “Sam, can you check on the body?”

“Stop saying “the body”!” Sam said angrily. “She might not even be dead! I can’t believe you. We have to call the ambulance.”

“Hey it was you who forced her to drink, so get off my case,” Alex said, a bit hurt.

Samantha thought about his words and realized he might be right. She sighed heavily and ran downstairs, tripping halfway down and bruising her butt. She got up with a groan. She walked slowly outside, dreading to see what she knew she would see.

Chapter Text

Amber made a move to run after Samantha, but felt someone grab her wrist. She spun around and saw Remy’s oddly calm face.

“Stay out of trouble. Let Samantha deal with it,” Remy said.

“PJ is my friend,” Amber said, taken aback, ripped herself free and resumed following Samantha.

Samantha paced under the window PJ jumped from, surrounded by glass shards, confused. PJ was nowhere to be seen.

She yelped when she took a turn to go looking in the parking lot and PJ appeared in front of her. PJ was standing still, sweaty and disheveled, seemingly unharmed.

“Er… are you okay?..” Sam asked carefully.

“Yeah,” PJ sighed. “I guess I can’t fly in the Matrix yet… Anyway. I’m looking for superglue. Have you seen it?”

“Huh?” Samantha frowned, struggling to think.

PJ lifted her sleeve, showing off a bloody arm fracture, with a bone sticking out, and Samantha covered her mouth.

“It’s gonna take more than superglue to fix this!..” Samantha said. “I’m calling a cab and taking you to the ER.”

“No,” PJ said resolutely. “There will be agents there.”

Samantha grimaced. PJ wasn’t cooperating, and she didn’t want to anger her by calling the ambulance right in front of her against her wishes.

“Okay… How about I drive you to my place and there we’ll see if we can patch you up?” she asked.

PJ looked unsure, but less paranoid than before. “Okay,” she said.

Amber was relieved when she saw that her friend was all in one piece.

“She’s… still alive!” Remy exclaimed behind her in dull amazement, and crossed her arms. “Anyway, you can see now she’s in good hands. Let’s go home,” she insisted, and dragged Amber towards their car.

Amber drove home, staring at the road ahead. Silence stretched out between them. Alarming thoughts consumed Amber’s mind, but she was afraid to voice them.

“You sure got scared when I reached for that beer,” Amber blurted out, and felt cold sweat send a chill down her spine. “What was that all about?”

Remy looked up from her phone. Amber perceived a microexpression of irritation, which swiftly changed to calm. “What are you taking about?” Remy asked.

“I mean… It was just beer, why’d you rip it out of my hands like that?” Amber laughed, but Remy’s smile faded, replaced by a cold glare.

“Are you implying I did something to make this whole thing happen?”

“No! I just thought… I upset you somehow and you didn’t wanna let me have a beer,” Amber lied, breaking into a sheepish smile.

“Not at all,” Remy’s voice turned sweet once again, and she leaned in to give Amber a soft kiss of the cheek.

Chapter Text

Samantha sat in the cab as it took her home, occasionally using her side vision to observe PJ. She seemed way too unconcerned about having an open fracture, but was conscious and alive. Luckily the drive was short.

“Okay…” Samantha sighed, once they were both inside her apartment. “Just wait here. I’ll just… uh.. find some superglue.”

She made a move towards her kitchen when she felt PJ grab her sleeve and stop her. Samantha yelped in fear, and grabbed her hand, determined to loosen the grip.

PJ’s face was pale and full of panic. “Don’t leave!.. They are close, I can hear them talking behind the walls!”

Samantha’s grip on her hand softened. Instead of trying to pry it open, she gave it affectionate strokes. It worked.

“I’m only going to the kitchen, I’ll be very close. I’ll be right back,” Samantha whispered.

“Okay,” PJ said, and reluctantly let go of her.

In the kitchen, Samantha stopped and leaned on the fridge. “What now..?” she rubbed her eyes, trying to think clearly. After a few minutes of hopeless inaction, she came back, sighed and prepared to make her point.

“PJ, if I could help you alone, I really would. But I don’t have the type of superglue that would work. Please, just let me call a doctor. Or take you to the ER. They’ll… repair it. I’ll be there with you, I promise.”

PJ looked at her with a pitiful look. “Promise?” she asked.

“I promise,” Samantha said.

Samantha nodded off in the ER waiting room.

She woke up abruptly when someone touched her shoulder. She looked up, and saw a doctor.

“We patched up your friend. I gotta say, she was really unlucky to get such an injury from falling off a curb!”

“Falling off a curb?..” Samantha asked, confused and groggy.

“Yeah,” the doctor said. “You can pick her up now.”

Samantha looked behind the doctor, confused, and saw PJ walking behind him with a cast on her arm. She stopped by them and looked at both.

“Be careful where you step,” the doctor smiled, and left them alone.

Samantha was flabbergasted by this turn of events. She expected PJ to be in a drug-related psych ward by now, and herself to be free of her.

“What about.. agents?” she asked stupidly, her head pounding with the same-night hangover.

“I pretended not to know anything, and it worked,” PJ whispered. “They believed me and didn’t do anything to me.”

“Okay,” Samantha sighed. She was still stuck with a crazy girl, and she was not sure how to either get her professional help, or get her to regain sanity, all without incriminating herself.

“Thank you for waiting for me,” PJ said. “Are you sure you aren’t Trinity? You seem to know how to evade agents.”

Samantha sighed heavily again.

“Let’s just go home,” she said, feeling defeated.

Chapter Text

That same evening, Samantha let PJ have her bed, and resigned to sleep on the couch in the living room, but her guest was having none of it.

“No!.. don’t leave, they are still here, I don’t want to be alone in the room with them,” she pleaded, and held onto Sam’s arm, looking up at her with big hazel eyes.

“Er.. Okay,” Samantha cringed, but relented. As PJ lay down on her bed, wearing a trench coat and boots and all (which she refused to take off, due to fear that someone might attack during the night and she’d need to run away or fight immediately), Samantha lay next to her. PJ exhaled and relaxed, and fell asleep almost immediately.

Samantha couldn’t sleep, too wired from the weird situation she was in. She looked at PJ’s relaxed face, and her chest rising and falling steadily. It was strange to see her with her eyes closed. Quiet, not berating anyone.

Samantha sipped black coffee, dark rings subtly visible beneath concealer. Someone knocked on her door cautiously, and Samantha let them in. Alex entered her office.

“How are you? How is… everything?” he asked.

“What do you think?” Sam sighed, exasperated. “You left me alone with her! And you know what? It’s been days… but she isn’t snapping out of it!”

“..she’s still in your apartment?” Alex asked, low key horrified.

“She’s not at work. Where do you think she would be?” Sam threw her hands up. “I’m worried…” she said.

“Let’s wait a few more days,” Alex said, hugging her, “and if nothing changes we’ll call help.”

PJ seemed deceptively calm in Samantha’s apartment. Sam left her there while she left for work, and when she returned, she was watching TV or playing video games on her computer. She only slept 3 hours a day but seemed fine otherwise.

One day Samantha returned from work and saw dirt in her living room. Concerned, she ran to the bedroom and opened the door.

“They were getting into the room through this hole, I had to stop them!” PJ said, pointing at the air vent. It was full of dirt.

Samantha sighed, annoyed, but knew it was no use in arguing with her. “Okay,” she said, “did it work?”

“Yeah, they are not coming in anymore,” PJ said, with a sense of accomplishment.

“Do you want to get some fresh air? There are some nice woods nearby. Must be hard, staying inside all day,” Samantha said.

“Oh? Okay,” PJ replied, and let Sam drag her outside.

They walked through the woods. PJ talked about all the horrors the Matrix made her experience, and how it was stalking her and making it hard for her to sleep. Samantha listened and nodded, not having much to contribute.

Chapter Text

Later, when they returned home and PJ went to eat in the kitchen, Samantha inspected the air vent that she ruined, and noted with some relief that she didn’t completely fill it up so it was still working.

That night, Samantha scrolled on her phone as she lay next to her sleeping guest. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw that the Kiwifarms thread gained some new videos. They were of PJ acting weird and confused at the party.

“Take that down! You want to be doxxed?” Samantha typed furiously on the phone to the coworker she guessed was the poster. The videos were gone off the thread within an hour , but likely not off the internet.

Samantha sighed and ran a hand over her face. The whole gossip campaign has gone too far and she was starting to feel bad. Come to think of it, PJ hasn’t really bothered anyone, or tried to creep on her after transitioning. She did not look like a man in a dress, and didn’t act like a caricature she expected. Although she gave catwalk Olive Oyl energy, she was definitely not gross.

Not to mention, she had long eyelashes, and her lips looked pretty soft… Samantha blushed, and tried not to think about it.

They continued having nature walks together, and it seemed that PJ gradually slept longer every night.

“You know, I think there wasn’t anyone coming in through the air vent after all,” she said one day, after a week of living with Samantha. “And I think I might have.. overreacted a bit.”

“You think?” Samantha raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah… And I don’t think agents were really after me,” PJ looked at the floor. “I’ll uh, pay for the vent repair. Just don’t tell anyone what you’ve seen or heard, okay?”

Samantha nodded. With the amount of juicy drama she witnessed this past week, the Kiwifarms thread could hit front page. But all that seemed so vile now, even if she could post it all without doxxing herself.

“I won’t,” she said. “And… I’m sorry I made you drink at the party.”

PJ tensed and averted her eyes. “Okay… I know why you did it though.” She looked up again, and took a step closer. “You think I’m uncool. Embarrassing. I’m not like you and Alex, and you were just trying to even out the difference. I get it. I didn’t two years ago, but I do now.”

Samantha shrunk under PJ’s gaze. She didn’t expect this self-awareness, and she didn’t think PJ was capable of it. Plus the accusation kinda stung.

“PJ, you talk like a robot half the time. You act in ways we don’t understand. We don’t know how to include you even when we try. Why are you like this?..” Samantha sighed.

“I was raised by computers, what do you expect?” PJ shrugged.

“You mean like, Tarzan, raised by monkeys so he acts like one?” Samantha snickered, but it died in her throat as PJ looked dead serious. “Okay, that’s fine, I get it… I think. Anyway, I’d never do it if I knew something like this could happen. …and I don’t think you’re uncool…. Or embarrassing.”

“You mean that?” PJ looked at her with a face that made Samantha’s heart flutter.

“Yeah…” Samantha exhaled.

Before she could think, she made the greatest mistake she could have made. She gave PJ a compliment.

“I think you’re… interesting.”

PJ took a moment to process the compliment. It felt good. She was sure it was just past rejections flaring up under scraps of warmth, but broke into a happy grin anyway.

“I think you’re interesting, too,” she said as she fiddled with a stray lock of hair. “We should like, hang out sometimes, as two interesting people…”

Samantha stared, heart pounding from a mix of anxiety, feeling of wrongness of her actions, and a morbid, unhealthy curiosity.

“Maybe…” she half-whispered, moving an inch closer.

PJ inhaled sharply. Samantha just stood in front of her and stared at her. Neither dared to move for a solid minute.

“Try me… You won’t regret it,” PJ near-whispered.

Samantha closed the short distance between them. PJ froze. Samantha let her lips brush against PJ’s, feather-light.

She pulled back, observing PJ look back at her, dazed.

“Oh my god,” PJ said breathlessly.

“Please, just don’t get your hopes up,” Sam said defensively. “I’m just… curious. I want to try… I’ve never tried… someone like you.”

“That’s fine,” PJ grinned, pride lighting up her features, “You can try me. Any part of me…”

PJ gave a look that was meant to be seductive. Samantha’s face turned bright red and she covered it with one hand and turned away.

“But… won’t Alex mind?” PJ asked, serious.

“It’s okay, me and him are both allowed to be with other women. It’s a “don’t ask, don’t tell” kind of policy,” Samantha reassured.

Everything she said was technically true. But deep inside, there was a part of her that thought this was a bad idea.

Chapter Text

Amber snuck out into the back yard of the apartment complex, walked behind the garbage containers and dialed a number.

“Samantha?.. It’s Amber. I was just wondering if PJ is still there with you? She hasn’t been to work for a week now…” she whispered.

“Oh yeah, she’s here,” Samantha replied, breathless for some reason. “She’s just fine… Don’t worry, she’ll be coming.. back to work tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Amber muttered, confused, but took Samantha’s word for it. She hung up and turned to go back insider her house, when she saw Remy standing there.

“Who are you talking to?” Remy asked.

Amber cleared her throat, repressing the spike of fear. “I was just calling Samantha to check on PJ. You said I could be friends with her!” she said a bit more defensively than intended.

“That’s fine. But if she’s just your friend, why did you feel the need to hide?” Remy gestured to the back yard.

“I was taking out the trash,” Amber lied. “Are you spying on me?”

Remy rolled her eyes. “I’m taking out the trash, too.” And then she glared so hard Amber thought she was talking about her, but Remy just passed by her and threw a plastic bag into one of the containers and stomped back inside her house. Amber took a deep breath, but the cortisol caused by the conversation did not go away.

PJ lay on her stomach and hid her face in a pillow, with Samantha’s 7 inch strap-on in her custom-made designer pussy. It took half an hour and half a bottle of lube to get it all the way in, and now she moaned and whimpered in 5% pain and 95% pleasure as Samantha’s hips pressed against her butt. Samantha moaned too as the vibe  built into the double-ended toy she was wearing moved against her clit.

“Talking .. on the phone.. while cumming? That’s sexual harassment,” PJ barely made out the words. Her jaw was still sore from pleasuring Samantha, and her body tingled from having Samantha’s hands and mouth on her everything earlier.

“You’re cute when you try to be serious,” Samantha laughed and booped her nose. PJ smiled and let her head drop back onto the pillow.

Chapter Text

Remy sat in her cubicle, stewing in petty jealousy and regret. Across from her, Amber walked by, side by side with PJ, laughing about some coding joke Remy couldn’t hope to understand.

“I knew I should have put in a whole gram,” she sighed, beating herself up over being greedy with the poison. On the other hand, this whole disaster lead to Samantha and PJ getting closer, which calmed Remy’s  fears.

Remy was all alone when she entered her apartment. Her hand went for the switch of the small table lamp when someone’s large hand covered her mouth, while another hand grabbed her by the neck and squeezed.

“Mmmhhh!…” Remy struggled and tried to scream, but the hand only squeezed harder, making her vision grey out. She heard a male voice. It was cruel, mocking.

“Why do you fight? You used to love being choked.”

The struggle ended as consciousness left her body, which was thrown onto the bed. When she came to, she recognized the figure looming over her. He was blond, tall, and looked like he hasn’t slept a week.

“Keith,” she rasped, struggling to keep her eyes focused.

“So you do remember me,” the man chuckled. “Sure didn’t seem like it after you left me. Is this what it takes for you to care about my existence?”

Remy blinked slowly. She knew turning up the charm could get her out of this, but jealousy over Amber occupied her thoughts too much. She was in no mood for this.

“What do you want from me, Keith?” she asked.

“Nothing. I’m just gonna kill you,” he said, and a small laugh escaped his throat.

Remy’s heart dropped. “What? What have I done to deserve this?” she cried, and her lip trembled.

“You know! You killed my grandmother!” Keith yelled.

“But you hated her! You told me she was controlling,” Remy argued.

“She tried to save me from you, I know,” Keith replied.

“A-and you got that inheritance you always wanted,” Remy stuttered.

“Which you spent on your plastic surgeries,” Keith said, resentment apparent in his eyes.

“You said it was a gift!” Remy whimpered.

“…and then you left,” Keith said. His eyes turned glassy and wet, and he kneeled in front of her and cupped her face. “And I have nothing left. Why did you leave?…”

Remy’s thoughts raced as her ex boyfriend’s fingers caressed her face and ran through her hair. He looked so forlorn, so hopeful. It was pathetic. Her lips twitched involuntary before she could stop herself, until her mouth slowly slid into a catty grin.

“You…. are laughing at me?..” he exhaled, in disbelief. Remy whined as his fingers traveled to her eyes and squeezed. Her vision went dark and full of light patterns. She wrestled herself free, but was rewarded by a slap to the face that made her ears ring. Deaf and blind, she hit the floor, and lost her breath to blinding pain when his leg connected with her gut. Her arms instinctively went to protect her head and torso, but the kicks kept coming. As her hearing returned, she could hear all the nasty slurs he was calling her. She dared to open her eyes. Keith looked furious, but she was glad to discover she could still see.

“We’re done!.. MOVE ON!” Remy choked out through coughs and the blood that welled up in her mouth. The beatings stopped. Remy looked up, hopeful he changed his mind. Instead, she saw a sharp, long object gleaming in his hand.

“This is the end,” Remy thought with dull recognition of her own kitchen knife. “What a bummer.”

Chapter Text

Remy closed her eyes, preparing for death. She jolted when she heard a loud pop. Something heavy fell to the floor. She opened her eyes and saw Keith’s bloody hair next to her nose. Amber was standing over him, holding her gun.

“Amber!..” Remy exhaled in relief, but Amber only stared at her with a palpable coldness.

“You killed his grandmother,” she said. “And you tried to kill PJ. I know it now.”

Remy’s smile and heart fell. She started at Amber’s gun. It was lowered, but the finger was still on the trigger.

“And you scammed him for money and left him, didn’t you?” Amber continued, tears welling up in her eyes. “So you’re a serial killer and user, huh? Am I gonna be just one more casualty in your long string of simps?…”

Amber’s cruel gaze turned to bitter tears. She collapsed on her knees, and covered her face, letting the gun drop to the floor next to her.

“Not you… Never you,” Remy swallowed, trembling. “I’ve never cared this much… about anyone,” she admitted, but Amber only cried more.

Remy felt her blood run cold, like the ground was giving out beneath her.

“I’m… sorry!..” Remy begged, but it was too late. The mask was off. Amber has seen her nature — the one that was nothing but a big, black void.

Remy didn’t dare to touch her. She sat next to her, feeling cold and hollow inside.

“We should call the police…” Amber said, when sobs and hiccups subsided.

“The police?..” Remy asked in a small voice.

“Yeah, to report this!” Amber gestured to the body. “He had a knife. It was self-defense!”

“No, no police,” Remy’s eyes widened, thinking of all the illegal stuff she had hidden in her apartment. “I’ll take care of it…”

Amber gave her a tired, contemptuous look. She understood.

“Fine,” she lowered her head. “I’ll help you…”

“You will?..” Remy asked, incredulous.

“I still owe you one crime coverup,” Amber chuckled unhappily.

Amber didn’t know why she volunteered. Her own involvement probably had something to do with it. As well her dark plans that Remy stopped. And yet, even if Remy had no dirt on her, Amber knew she wouldn’t be able to leave — Remy held onto her soul like a black hole holds onto light.

Amber drove them both to the forest with the dead body in the trunk. Her heart felt heavy.

“She saved me,” Amber thought. “Yet she is killing me…”

They returned home, exhausted. Their muscles shook from exertion. Their matching clothes were covered in dirt and drops of blood.

“I’m going to bed,” Amber said, and turned to leave.

Remy flinched. Amber never used this tone with her before.

“I love you,” Remy tested.

Amber sighed and turned around, weary, as if Remy’s proclamation of love was more of a demand than a gift.

“I love you too,” she said, dead-eyed, turned her back to her and left into the bedroom.

Remy groaned and bent over on the couch, crying. Sometimes being hyperperceptive to microexpressions was truly a curse. She could physically feel her heart break. Amber would never look at her the same way again. She used to be her savior, her angel, her role model, her twin sister, but all that was gone now. Even if Amber stayed, she would know her in ways she didn’t want to be known.

Chapter Text

“Everything ok?”

Samantha felt a vague sense of unease as she replied to Alex’s message.

“Yeah, everything is fine. She got better, we aren’t in trouble.”

She stared at herself in the bathroom mirror.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” she muttered. She and PJ fucked five times. Each time Sam swore would be their last. And yet… the forbidden fruit was intoxicating.

“I flew too close to the sun. I fucked a lolcow. I’ve become a lolcow,” she said mournfully, and laughed at herself.

PJ couldn’t sleep. The room was too bright with the ambient light of Samantha’s gaming mouse, and the bed felt empty when Samantha wasn’t in it. She got up and awakened Sam’s computer to check if she had any interesting games to play. She found Call of Duty, Portal 2 and Cuck Simulator icons on her desktop, as well as an open browser window. She went to close it, when something familiar captured her attention. She saw her own name.

“PJ is really dumb IRL. I’ve never met anyone dumber, who can still program.”  - a user with the name Cute and Valid posted.

“Huh?…” PJ read in disbelief.

“You gotta give him props though, for choosing a halfway sane name. Every other tranny calls themselves some variation of Aurora Penelope Cinderella.” - user well-adjusted tweaker replied.

PJ stared at the screen, growing red in the face. She scrolled, hoping it was about some other PJ. But the more she read, the more details from her life were mentioned. It was undeniable — they were definitely discussing her. Pages upon pages of gossip, all about her.

She stopped when she reached an comment field. It was ready to be used for posting. It was clear the site was logged into, by none other than the user Cute and Valid.

Samantha returned to her bedroom from her long bathroom visit.

“Hey,” she smiled, seeing PJ sitting at her computer, “Couldn’t sleep?”

Her smile faltered when she saw the familiar green of the gossip site she so frequently used.

“Uh…” she opened her mouth, but closed it, at loss for words.

PJ turned to Samantha, stunned. “You’ve been gossiping about me… for over 300 pages?..”

“I did do that,” Samantha admitted, “But I regret it,” she was quick to add. “I wouldn’t have done it if I knew you better…” she hung her head, feeling like a jerk.

“ ‘He’?… You think I’m a man?” PJ asked, hurt.

“No! I was just gossiping and on this site you just have to misgender people, it’s the law,” Samantha explained. “Not that it’s an excuse… I’m sorry…”

Samantha felt like falling through the crust of the earth from shame. PJ stood up abruptly, and looked at her with her big, wet eyes, looking utterly hurt and miserable. Samantha was sure she was about to burst into tears and run out of her apartment.

Instead, PJ smiled. A soft, warm sort of smile, ridiculously unfitting for the setting. “Hah!” she chuckled, a noise that started Samantha. “So you were always obsessed with me?” she said softly.

“Haha, I guess so,” Samantha exhaled, still uneasy but relieved.

“It’s ok, I forgive you, Cute and Valid,” PJ said, and wrapped her arms around Samantha in a warm hug. Samantha hugged her back, still shocked by this turn of events.

Chapter Text

Samantha lay in bed, scrolling on her phone, with PJ clinging to her like a sleepy koala.

“Profile deleted,” Samantha sighed. PJ smiled and kissed her cheek. Samantha blushed.

“This is so embarrassing,” she said. “Are you going to make fun of me for this?”

“For falling for my obvious charm? Why would I?” PJ smiled, and Samantha cringed a little. PJ’d high self-esteem was a bit much sometimes.

“Will you tell Mr. Cheezle?” Samantha asked.

“Nah. This was all worth it,” PJ replied, and clung tighter.

Samantha woke up, vaguely aware of sounds of footsteps and keys jingling through the fog of sleep. She jolted awake when someone knocked on the door.

“Sam?”

It was Alex’s voice. 

“Who is this?” PJ stirred awake.

Samantha had time to throw a sheet over PJ before the door opened.

“Hey, I saw you deleted your social media, I thought I’d…”

Alex swung open the door, and didn’t finish his sentence, when he saw Samantha in bed, with PJ in bed with her, peeking from beneath the sheet. His face changed to pale, then to red.

“Samantha.. what is this?” he asked, his tone dropping an octave.

Samantha flinched at his harsh tone. She looked around helplessly, unsure if she should get dressed, get up, or stay put.

“I’m just.. having sex with a woman,” she shrugged. “Like we agreed we could. What’s wrong?” she tried to sound confident, but it came out small.

Alex just shook his head. “Sam.. I know you aren’t that stupid. You’re not fucking a woman. You’re fucking a person that stole my game. Someone you knew caused me a lot of grief. You had hundreds of choices Sam, and of all of them you chose JP with boobs!”

He gave PJ a contemptuous look. PJ returned a smirk.

“I.. didn’t know it still mattered to you! I’m sorry!” Samantha said, but she knew she was not entirely honest.

“Here I was, worried that you deleted your profile because maybe something bad happened to you, and all this time you were fucking a person that hates me. I’m done!”

“Wait!” Samantha yelled as Alex turned to leave. She tried to jump to her feet and run after him, but PJ hooked around her with arms and one leg.

“Leave him, Samantha. We’re a better match,” she said, looking into Samantha’s eyes so intensely Samantha leaned back.

“PJ… It was just sex… I told you,” Samantha cringed.

“But it couldn’t have been just sex,” PJ protested, “You deleted your account. You took care of me when I was having a.. perceptual malfunction. You cared!”

“Because I’m not a complete monster,” Samantha sighed. “It doesn’t mean I love you, PJ.”

The hope in PJ’s eyes flickered out upon hearing this, and she averted her eyes. “Right…” she said, and let go of Sam.

Sam raced outside the apartment, only to catch a glimpse of Alex’s car speeding away.

Chapter Text

Jeff’s phone rang.

“Samantha! Hey,” he responded, seeing his best friend’s girlfriend’s name on the little screen of his phone.

“Hey Jeff…” Samantha said. “I need your help…”

“Sure,” Jeff frowned. “What is it?”

“I can’t get in touch with Alex,” she said, and her voice cracked a bit.

“He’s missing?” Jeff asked, alarmed. “But I saw him this Friday..”

“No, no, it’s nothing like that,” Samantha reassured. “We just had.. a fight. I think he’s avoiding me. Won’t answer my calls. And he won’t open when I knock on his apartment door. Would you come with me? He might listen to you.”

“Okay,” Jeff said. “What happened, though?”

Samantha hesitated, but Jeff was their good friend and she didn’t want to lie. “I kind of… had sex with PJ,” she muttered.

Jeff hissed. “Yiiiikkkeessss,” he grimaced. “Did she sound like a robot?”

“Now’s not the time for jokes,” Sam rolled her eyes. “Help me get Alex back!”

“Fine, but only if you spill the details later.”

“Deal,” Samantha reluctantly agreed.

Samantha and Jeff looked for Alex everywhere. They did not find him at his grandma’s house. Nor was he at Dante’s.

Finally, Samantha drove up to Alex’s apartment. Jeff knocked on the door and called his best friend, just like Samantha instructed him, but there was no response.

“Do you hear anything inside?” Samantha asked.

“Hmm, not really,” Jeff said, putting his ear to the door.

Samantha’s mind swarmed with bad thoughts. “I’m getting worried. What if he did something stupid?”

“Oh, I know! There is a low window in his back yard!” Jeff exclaimed. “I’ll climb the wall and check it.”

Samantha raised an eyebrow but followed him anyway, through a secret hole in the fence and through the thick bushes. Jeff stopped in front of a second floor window, conveniently made slightly reachable by uneven, hilly ground.

“Let’s .. take a look!..” Jeff huffed as he struggled to climb using only the spaces between the planks of the wall and other unevenness he could hold onto.

He finally found stable footing and looked inside. A sheer curtain was obscuring the view, but he recognized that he was seeing a naked couple. Jeff could see the man’s face. It was most definitely Alex. He sat on the bed with a woman on his lap. She was straddling him, her hips moving sensually in rhythm with his. One of his hands kneaded her ass, the other ran fingers through her hair.

Jeff smiled. Alex was safe, and most importantly not miserable. And then, Jeff went pale. There was something oddly familiar about the woman. He squinted, hard. The woman, aroused by gentle hair pulling, arched her back and moaned. Her face came into view.

“Mom!..” Jeff screamed before he could stop himself, face contorting in disgust as the image burnt into his mind forever.

“Jeffrey!” the woman yelped, got off Alex and covered herself with the nearest sheet.

Alex threw on a pair of boxers and approached the window. “What are you doing here?” he asked Jeff, annoyed and embarrassed.

“You weren’t answering our calls, we thought you got murdered,” Jeff explained, his mouth still open in shock.

“We?..” Alex squinted, then looked to the side. “Oh, Sam,” he said gruffly, when he noticed her standing there. “Well, I’m alive, I appreciate your concern,” he said to Jeff. “As for her, we’re done. She betrayed me, I don’t want her anymore. I have nothing more to say.”

“Okay…” Jeff shrugged. “Still… I can’t believe you came on my mom! …again!”

“Yeah… Sorry,” Alex grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck. “Anyway… gotta go,” he said, and gestured for Jeff to leave.

Jeff climbed down, and met Samantha’s gaze.

“Sorry, I tried. Looks like he doesn’t wanna talk to you,” Jeff shrugged.

“Fu-huuck!..” Samantha nearly sobbed.

Chapter Text

PJ entered the biggest office in Brainasium, which once belonged to her, and recently became hers again. PJ grimaced — the walls were still decorated with Alex’s Demonik stuff, and there were only two monitors.

“Alex ruined my office with his plebeian taste,” she sighed.

She sat in the office chair and smirked. She finally had what was rightfully hers — her old job as tech lead and her office.

It’s been two days since Alex quit his job.

“Fuck PJ, fuck Samantha, fuck Brainasium, I’m leaving for Valve! They have better pay anyway!” he yelled, and stormed off, leaving Mr. Cheezle muttering something about negative energy.

Samantha left shortly after, stating a new project as the reason. Mr. Cheezle bought it, but everyone else knew she simply couldn’t bear the shame after Jeff gossiped about her fling with PJ in full gory detail.

PJ didn’t care about that. She quietly celebrated Alex’s defeat and her promotion, alone.

It was true that the testers now hated her more than ever. Nobody was happy about her taking her old job back. Samantha didn’t answer her calls. Amber’s number was no longer in use. She told herself it was fine, she was used to it. She won, and that was all that mattered. 

“So what if they don’t like me. At least I broke up Alex and Samantha,” she laughed.

Her text messages to Samantha and Amber showed as “not delivered”. PJ frowned and deleted them. Ever since her transition, she has been getting more ass than a toilet seat, yet nobody ever wanted to stick around longer than a few months.

“There is nothing wrong with me!” she insisted, but inside she was eaten up by gnawing fear that there was.

Chapter Text

PJ worked late in her office long after everyone left, trying to overcompensate as usual, and focus on the code. She was in the middle of solving a difficult bug when she heard footsteps. Concerned it was an intruder, she armed herself with pepper spray and peeked outside, and was greeted by a sight both confusing and comforting.

“PJ?..” Amber stepped from one foot to another. Her eyes were red, her shoulders slumped under that familiar peach-colored dress she was so fond of. There was no malice in her voice.

“Amber…” PJ exhaled.

Amber’s face scrunched up in a miserable grimace. “She left!…”

PJ gasped when Amber ran towards her, wrapped her arms around her and sobbed.

“Amber!.. What happened? I thought you blocked my number…” she asked, her own hands hovering over her friend’s back, unsure what to do.

“Remy… is gone!… She said.. she couldn’t stand my love anymore! She left me her apartment to rent, and then I changed my locks and my number!”  Amber choked out through sobs, in a way that was simultaneously full of suffering and elation. “I gave her everything I had! I did things I cannot undo….” Amber stopped sobbing upon uttering the last part and looked into space. “And.. and she said it’s too much, and left!” she resumed sobbing.

PJ stood and listened, stiff as a board, but soon relaxed and let her arms rest carefully on Amber’s back. “Ugh, I know,” she tried to be comforting, “I told you. That Remy, she doesn’t appreciate anyone. Forget her…. Fucking cissies, they have no concept of love and loyalty…”

Tension drained from Amber’s body as PJ’s voice muttered something about cissies being users. “I’m a horrible person,” Amber said.

“No you’re not,” PJ frowned. “Why would you say that?”

“I just wanted to be happy..” Amber cried. “But I don’t deserve it. I hurt everyone. I hurt my parents. I hurt Remy... I hurt my workplace by being absent for days.. and I hurt you, too.”

PJ chuckled. “It was mutual and a long time ago,” she said, and then stayed silent, not daring to say what was really on her mind. “Actually…” she began after a long pause, “You’re … helpful. You’ve been a great programming partner, and a .. friend.”

Amber looked up at her with big hopeful eyes. “Really, you think so?”

“Yeah,” PJ’s face grew warm under Amber’s gaze, “You progressed fast thanks to your talent and drive. I’ll ask Mr. Cheezle if he can update your position to junior developer officially…”

“Oh my god, really? Thanks so much! That means a lot!” Amber’s eyes sparkled with happiness, but then she grew quiet. “…I meant the friend part…”

PJ looked away, embarrassed. “Yes… I’m glad.. you came back.”

Amber smiled through tears. PJ’s voice was monotone, but the way her warm hands pressed Amber closer told a different story. “And you’ll always be my senpai,” she joked, and buried her face in PJ’s chest.

Chapter Text

The office drama slowly died down, naturally due to passage of time and because Jeff found new things to gossip about. The testers still mocked PJ, but she stopped paying attention to them, and the mockery gradually decreased.

One day, Amber and PJ sat in PJ’s office, staring at the same screen, going through Amber’s PR together.

An hour passed, they were mostly done. PJ sighed dramatically, as she always did when something wasn’t done exactly as she was used to. “Look, I’m not mad… Just disappointed.”

“Oh, what’s wrong?” Amber replied with a cheeky smile.

“‘play button bug obliterated, lol’? Your commit messages are chaotic.. like your thought processes. Here, let me fix that for you…” she muttered as she provided a better example. “Next time remember to include what you fixed, and why.”

“Sure boss,” Amber smiled. “I’ll remember.”

“Stop, this is serious,” PJ frowned, but the corners of her mouth twitched. “And I’m not your boss.”

“Super serious. I’m literally in your lap right now,” Amber smiled, wrapped one arm around PJ’s waist and squeezed.

“That’s not the point,” PJ argued, but broke into a full smile. “Anyway, commit your changes. And try to write something intelligent this time…”

PJ’s eyes widened as Amber’s message appeared on the command line. ‘PJ’s lap is comfy’

“Don’t,” she slapped Amber’s shoulder.

“Ow,” Amber said, but removed the message and replaced it with “Fix bug preventing play button from working on iPad Safari”.

“That’s it for today,” PJ said. “Wanna go out to eat?”

“I’d rather we got some takeout and went to my place,” Amber said.

“Okay,” PJ smiled.

They clocked out and rode the elevator down to the parking lot. Amber looked up at PJ. She couldn’t believe this woman was not afraid to wear platform shoes, which made her effectively 6’5. It gave her the courage to try it herself one day.

Amber drove them to an Indian takeout place, then home. Once inside the apartment, they threw off their shoes and settled on the couch with food, blankets and a movie.

Amber leaned on PJ’s shoulder, hugging one of her arms. Amber’s fingers absentmindedly traced PJ’s skin.

“Soft…” she thought, letting her hand travel upward to gently rub the inside of her arm, fingertips trailing along that soft, nerve-packed stretch just past her elbow.

PJ stopped breathing for a second. Then, drew a sharp inhale. Her shoulders twitched.

Amber bit her lip, her fingers running slowly up and down PJ’s arm in light, meandering strokes. Back of the hand, circles traced in the middle of her palm. Wrist. Elbow. The soft skin on the inside of her bicep. PJ’s eyes turned to look at her, glazed. Her body melted into the couch a little more with every stroke, her head tipped back, her lips parted, until it was hard to hear the movie over her barely-contained sighs. Every few minutes a little shiver ran through her body.

“How do you get this much out of me rubbing your elbow?” Amber asked.

“It’s the estrogen,” PJ half-moaned. “Don’t you feel it, too?”

“I don’t know..” Amber shrugged, “I’m usually the one touching, rather than being touched.”

“You’re poor thing,” PJ perked up. “We must correct that..”

“You don’t have to…” Amber protested weakly, but let go of PJ’s arm as she pulled it out of her grasp and turned toward her.

“Relax, I know what I’m doing,” PJ smirked as she leaned over her. Amber’s heart rate spiked, but she leaned back on the couch obediently, half excited, half afraid. PJ closed the distance and brushed her lips against Amber’s, first feather light, then licked between her lips to let herself in. PJ’s hand cupped her cheek and ran through her hair, sending shivers up her spine.

“That was nice,” Amber giggled nervously, not used to being the center of attention. PJ only smiled seductively and let some of her weight rest on Amber, and nuzzled into her shoulder.

“Oh…” Amber whimpered as she felt PJ’s soft lips press to her neck. Then her collarbone. Up her neck again, until they reached her ear. Amber squirmed as PJ nibbled at her earlobe and dragged her tongue on the sensitive skin behind her ear, overwhelmed, but the pressure of PJ’s weight stabilized her nervous system.

“Better?” PJ asked.

“.. hnng..” Amber tried to reply, but it came out as a soft moan.

“I take it as a yes,” PJ smirked. “Now let’s see if we can make you cum by touching your boobs alone…”

“Uh…” Amber mustered a quiet whimper as PJ unbuttoned her shirt.

Amber was happier than she’s been in years. Not in a manic, obsessive way she was with Remy. Rather, in a stabilizing, validating way. And yet, one thing was missing. As affectionate as PJ was, she never let her hands travel lower than her waist.

One time they were at Amber’s place, making out. And just like always, PJ’s affections stopped somewhere at her boobs.

“PJ, can I ask you a serious question?” Amber said.

“Hm?” PJ looked up.

“ …is it bad that I have a…six inch clitoris?” Amber laughed, embarrassed.

PJ laughed too, but with an undercurrent of sadness. “I like you a lot,” she began. “But when it comes to that… I’m sorry, but I just can’t!..” she looked away.

Amber sighed heavily. “I figured.” It didn’t hurt as much as she anticipated. Deep down, she knew. But it still stung that there was a part of her PJ didn’t like.

PJ looked up, hopeful.. “Why don’t you have bottom surgery? You have the money now! I can even help you, and then everything will be perfect!”

Amber grimaced. “I know this sounds like the perfect solution… But at this point, I don’t know what I want yet. But I know I will no longer try to become someone other than myself. Or let myself be turned into a copy of someone else…” She reached to PJ and put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry. But I must figure out who I am first.”

PJ’s hopeful excitement faded. “So… Does it mean we’re breaking up? You will leave?”

“No!” Amber closed the distance between them and wrapped PJ in a tight embrace. “You’re my best friend. I will always be there to code with you, be there for you… make out with you after work,” she laughed when tears threatened to spill out of her eyes.

“That sounds wonderful…” PJ muttered into her shoulder, disguising a sob.

And so they remained best friends, the type that codes together and makes out with each other, and is allowed to date other people.

Chapter Text

Remy looked like a child in a toy store as she walked around the new city, where nobody knew her. Everything was new and exciting, and free of painful memories.

She swore she would never date another woman ever again. Not after that… Annie? Alice? …whatever, that dark-haired trans girl nearly ruined her by becoming her twin sister, then dashing their perfectly harmonious relationship against the rocks by individuating. It felt like finally loving yourself, then losing yourself all over again.

“Guys are easier to work with,” Remy decided. And there were many of those at her new job, where she was recently accepted. A cashier at a McDonald’s drive-through — it was not glamorous, but it sure was new and social.

Later that day, Remy looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. The red uniform went well with her black hair and made her boobs look good. Nothing of value was lost. There was always a fresh start, if she needed one.