Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Alright Rise. It’s okay Rise. You’re just on a date. With a boy. A boydate. Datiiiing a boy.” Rise stared at herself in the mirror of the tiny Aiya bathroom, trying her best to retain composure. “It’s fine, totally fine, you’re fine, he’s fine, it’s all fine. You’re ooooogli goo! Oooooooogli goo! Arrruaharurrururharrrruuuuuruahhahrauuuuhraaraaahhhhh!”

“Rise?” Yu’s voice froze the girl on the spot, locking her in place. “Are you alright in there?”

“Ooooh, yeah Senpai, totally alright!” Rise laughed nervously, straightening herself out and turning to the door. “I’ll be out in a second!”

Okay. She can do this. She can do this. She can go on a date, she can have a normal date. She’d be fine. With one last deep breath, she pushed open the door and smiled her very best smile at Yu.

Unfortunately, in her madness she had accidentally called upon the dark arts of the Kujikawa clan, and her mere presence disintegrated Yu, the whole restaurant, and a random man in Tulsa Oklahoma on the spot.

…fuck!

Chapter Text

“Kotone.” Aigis’ pale blue eyes seemed to glow as she peered down at Kotone from where the auburn-haired girl was lying on the couch in the dorm’s common room. “I would like to slow dance.”

“Huh?” Kotone blinked, looking back up at the android with ill-disguised confusion. “What do you mean slow dance?”

“It is something Junpei mentioned doing with Chidori.” Aigis nodded seriously. “He says that it is something both intimate and romantic. I would like to experience it with you.”

“Junpei huh? Yeah, he usually knows his romance stuff.” Kotone set aside the magazine she was reading, standing upright and putting her hands on her hips. “Slow dancing… I guess that just means dancing slowly? Seems easy enough, right?”

“Yes.” Aigis nodded, following after Kotone as she made her way to the open space of the hall. “Do you know of any dances that may be slowed in order to be experienced intimately?”

“Uh… well, there is one?” Kotone scratched her head, shrugging. “I guess you’ll just have to follow my lead.”

“Understood.” Aigis stanced up, clenching her fists determinedly. “Let us start!”

---

“It’s a pretty normal dorm, really.” Yukari waved her hand dismissively as she led the new transfer student up the steps. “We had some exciting stuff last year, but it’s nice and boring this year.”

“Aww…” Eri sighed, adjusting the way her bag sat on her shoulders. “That’s no fun. I prefer exciting.”

“Trust me, you really don’t.” Yukari rolled her eyes, pushing the door open. “Anyways, we-“

Yukari froze as she caught sight of what awaited her inside. Kotone and Aigis were face to face, which was just about normal. What wasn’t normal was the way they were slowly moving their bodies in some sort of strange ritualistic dance. Almost like… they were spelling something out.

Y.

M.

C.

A.

Oh God.

“Oh, hey Yukari!” Kotone turned, grinning at the pair of girls. “You brought the new girl huh? Hey there!”

“Yukari.” Aigis turned as well, nodding severely. “I have just been made aware that there is no need to feel down.”

“That- you-“ Yukari stuttered over herself for a moment before facepalming. “Oh my God.”

“Oh wow.” Eri grinned, watching as the two girlfriends continued their dance. “If this is your boring, I think I’m gonna love it here!”

Chapter Text

“Haha! I must admit…” Elizabeth grinned, sweat pouring from her brow as she backed away from half court, the sound of a basketball bouncing echoing around the indoor gym. “I didn’t think that these human forms of competition would be so engaging!”

“I’m happy to help.” Saori smiled warmly, bouncing the basketball carefully in front of her as she looked between her opponent and the net. “It’s more fun than I expected.”

“I am so glad you think so too!” Elizabeth clapped, a merciless grin on her face. “However, it must now come to an end. For there are but a few moments left in this game, and I am up by a singular point! There is no chance that you will be able to outclass me now.”

“Maybe not that you could see.” Saori clenched her free hand in a triumphant fist, smiling determinedly. “But someone taught me to never give up, so I won’t!”

“Ha, but- wait. No, you wouldn’t dare!” Elizabeth gasped, her eyes widening excitedly. “The fabled half-court shot?”

“That’s right. Because I…” Saori grabbed hold of the ball, steadying herself for a moment before aiming her shot and shooting with all her might. “Am balling!”

Swish.

Chapter Text

Gallica blinked. The sign didn’t blink back. She blinked again. It still didn’t blink back. Behind it, before the pale blue sky, a group of riders on the rollercoaster yelled in exhilaration, their joy infectious if it weren’t for the single obstacle in front of the fairy.

‘YOU MUST BE THIS TALL TO RIDE’

“Y’know what?” Gallica crossed her arms, sighing and turning away. “No, this is dumb, I’m not even going to bother doing this bit, I still have my dignity.”

…

…

…

…

…

…

20 minutes later, the ride attendant looked Gallica up and down and sighed.

“Ma’am.” She shook her head. “I can’t let you on this ride.”         

“What? C’mon!” Gallica stomped her foot, frowning. “Why not?”

“Because.” The ride attendant rolled her eyes. “You are clearly a fairy sitting on top of a boy in a trenchcoat who is also not tall enough to ride.”

“Uh oh.” Will glanced up at Gallica from where he stood hidden in Neuras’ old coat. “I think we’re busted Gallica.”

“…yeah, probably.” Gallica sighed, shaking her head. “C’mon, lets vamoose before they find out about the corndogs!”

“What? What are you-“ The ride attendant fell silent as Will scampered away, corndogs falling from his pockets as he did. “…what the fuck.”

Chapter Text

“Kotone…” Marianne raised her hand in front of her, frowning as she stared at it. “…where are we?”

“Huh?” Kotone blinked, frowning at the other girl. “What do you mean, Mari?”

“I mean… where are we? How did we get here?” Marianne looked into Kotone’s eyes, care and concern clear within. “It feels as if this moment just started existing now, and we’re just… in it.”

“…I know what you mean.” Kotone smiled, reaching up to gently cup the other girl’s cheek. “Like it’s impossible in so many ways, but still… here.”

“Exactly.” Marianne leaned against her touch, swallowing nervously. “It’s going to end soon, isn’t it?”

“Feels like it.” Kotone smiled nervously, inching closer to the other girl and wrapping her other arm around her waist. “It’s… it passes. Like everything.”

“I see.” Marianne flinched, looking downwards. “I… I don’t want it to.”

“Me neither, Mari.” Kotone winced, reaching up and brushing a strand of hair out of the other girl’s eyes. “But… I think we should just enjoy it while it’s here, okay?”

“…okay.” Marianne sniffled as Kotone leaned forward, a smile nonetheless on her face. “I love you, Kotone.”

“Heh…” Kotone grinned, face to face with the other girl. “I love you too, Mari.”

Their lips met. They smiled, a warmth spreading through their hearts.

And the moment passed.

Chapter Text

"Okay, um..." Saori winced under her deep purple mask, brushing whatever hair not held back by her hat out of her face. "Are you sure about this?"

"Positive!" Hamuko nodded seriously, crossing her little hampster mascot arms with as much gravitas as she could muster. "Ekoda's Shadow doesn't think the Phantom Thieves are something to be worried about. You've got to show him!"

"Right." Saori swallowed, looking forward. The courtyard of the Palace loomed before her, Ekoda's cabal milling about in scattered fashion. This was about making an entrance. Making a statement. Not sitting back and just hoping that it would all work out. Deciding for herself. "...do you really think I'm up to this?"

"No." Hamuko shook her little hampster head, grinning emphatically. "I know you are."

"...thank you." Saori took a deep breath, stepping forward into the light. "It's Showtime."

Ladies and Gentlemen of Ryohei Ekoda's innermost self... my name is Duskrose, and I have come to take your hearts!

Chapter Text

"Labrys." Aigis' voice caused Labrys to look up from where she was scribbling her notes at the dining room table of their shared apartment. "It is okay that you are gay."

"Wha- what're-" Labrys sputtered, slamming her notebook shut and hiding the little doodles she'd been drawing of that kung-fu girl with hearts around her. "Where the hell's that comin' from sis?"

"You are not subtle, sister. Both Yukari and Kotone have already described you as a 'disaster lesbian'." Aigis nodded assuredly, holding up a wrapped white package. "There is also this."

"The hell's that?" Labrys stood, taking the package in her hands. It had some heft to it, nice and heavy. Somewhere in the Plume of Dusk she had as a heart, Labrys felt something stir. "This for me?"

"Yes sister." Aigis nodded, which was enough for Labrys to go ahead and rip the packaging apart to reveal her second favourite thing in the world behind cute girls. An axe. "It is called a Labrys. It is an old style of axe from Greece."

"Awww, sis, ya' didn't hafta." Labrys grinned, then tilted her head. "Wait, what's this gotta do with the girl likin' thing?"

"The labrys has commonly been associated with lesbians since the 1970s." Aigis nodded. "I believe our creators were aware of this association, and used it intentionally for your designation."

"Woultcha look at that? They up and designed a gay robot?" Labrys blinked, hefting the axe in her hands. "Damn, maybe our creators ain't so bad after all."

"Sister." Aigis blinked. "Do you truly mean that?"

"Nah." Labrys grinned. "I'd still kick they're asses iffa got a chance to. And now I gotta 'nother axe ta do it with!"

"Sister." Aigis' eyes widened as Labrys made her way to the door, still hefting her new weapon. "Sister, no."

Chapter Text

“I can bearly believe it!” Teddie bounced as he walked down the courthouse steps. “Not guilty! Wow! I’m a free bear!”

“That’s because Junes bribed the judge, Ted.” Yosuke adjusted his tie, looking around nervously. “Now c’mon, let’s get out of here. That oil spill you caused hurt a lot of people, some of them might come after you for revenge.”

“Revenge? Oh, that’d be grizzly!” Teddie pouted as a black car pulled up to the curb in front of them, the front window rolling down to reveal a scarred up woman with an auburn ponytail and black sunglasses. Teddie all but skipped over to her. “Hi! Are you our ride?”

“In a sense.” The woman tilted her head forward, lowering her sunglasses. “Teddie Hanamura, yeah?”

“Uh, no-“ Yosuke gulped, putting a hand on Teddie’s shoulder. “He’s-“

“That’s right!” Teddie nodded enthusiastically. “You’re pretty~! Want to bear my children?”

“Yeah, that’s him.” The woman rolled her eyes, rolling her window back up. “Light ‘em up.”

“Light-“ Yosuke stumbled back as the back window of the car lowered, revealing two women with similar sunglasses, one with a heart choker around her neck and the other with her silver hair tied up in a ponytail. “Wait, you’re not-“

Yosuke didn’t have time to finish before the two woman raised pistols from within the car, taking aim at Teddie and firing at the man. There was a sound like a squeaky toy being crushed by a dog, followed by bursts of confetti as Teddie screamed and flailed under the assault. The two women fired until their clips were empty and Teddie was well and truly dead, his body deflating like a balloon animal as he slumped across the steps.

“Case closed.” The silver-haired woman nodded, patting the seat in front of her to gesture for the driver to go. “Guilty.”

The window rolled back up as the car sped off, leaving only the grizzly sight of Teddie’s body, and a bewildered Yosuke in its wake.

“Aw man…” Yosuke slumped as confetti continued to pour out of Teddie’s body as it deflated. “I knew I should have stayed home today.”

Chapter Text

Lightning crashed and thunder roared over the horizon as rain pounded Inaba's main street, the feeble light of the late-night streetlamps barely illuminating Yu's path as he made his way through the downpour toward Aiya's unlit storefront. He rattled the handle to the door for a moment, struggling to pull it open before something clicked and he was able to will himself inside. He shut the door behind him, the howl of the storm dying down as he straightened up and peered into the gloom inside. There was only one light on in the interior, a lonely bulb illuminating a blue-haired girl as she sat at the end of the bar and stared at a box on the counter.

"Aika." Yu brushed water off his jacket as he approached the girl, shaking his head. "You wanted to see me?"

"I did." Aika nodded, glancing at the boy then at the box. "Come look at this."

"Okay." Yu nodded, sitting next to the girl. She slowly opened the box, revealing... a pizza. A pretty good pizza, if Yu had to guess. But still just a pizza. He stared at it for a moment, then glanced back at her. "It's just a pizza."

"No." Aika shook her head. "This is a pizza made by a Chinese restaurant. Here, at this Chinese restaurant."

"...what?" Yu's eyes widened. "That's impossible."

"Nothing is impossible." Aika shook her head, closing the box "I made this pizza. For you."

"Aika." Yu shook his head, staring at the box. "This is too much power. A Chinese restaurant shouldn't be able to make pizza."

"I don't believe that." Aiya was insistent, still holding the pizza out to the boy. "I believe this is true power."

"No. No, Aika, I-" Yu stood taking a careful step back. "This is too far."

"Or not far enough. We could learn from this. Grow. Become something ungovernable. A food empire to rival giants, right here in Inaba. Think about it Yu." Aika stood, walking menacingly toward Yu as she continued holding the pizza out toward him. "Aiya pizza, is the pizza, for you and me. Sing it, Yu. Aiya pizza, is the pizza, for you and me. Aiya pizza, is the pizza..."

"No, Aika, I-" Yu shuddered, his back to the wall. "We can't! It's too far! It's too far! It-"

Lightning crashed.

---

"Well now." Dojima looked up as Yu walked through the front door, soaking wet and holding a drenched cardboard box. "You were out late."

"I was." Yu shuddered, falling to his knees. The cardboard fell from his hands, bits of cheese and dough dripping through his fingers as he faltered and wept. "Aiya pizza, is the pizza, for you and me... Aiya pizza..."

Chapter Text

"Hey Aigis!" Kotone grinned as she spun her laptop around toward the metallic maiden. "Check out this link I found!"

"A link?" Aigis blinked, staring at the url on the screen. "What is it?"

"Secret!" Kotone nodded emphatically. "Just check it out!"

"Junpei had advised me that clicking unknown links on the internet is inadvisable." Aigis shook her head. "There may be a virus."

"Well, sure, but that's why we have anti-virus!" Kotone nodded seriously. "And you're an anti-shadow suppression weapon, so that's probably the same, right?"

"That is acceptable logic." Aigis nodded, clicking the link. "Accessing."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

Kotone tried her best to hold back her giggles as Aigis watched the whole video with a look of intense concentration on her face. By the time it was done, she couldn’t anymore, breaking out into a fit of laughter as the video came to an end.

“Kotone…” Aigis blinked, turning to look at Kotone and taking her hands. “I… I feel the same.”

“Huh?” Kotone blinked, wiping an eye as the android girl leaned closer. “Wait, what do you mean?”

“I will never give you up. I will never let you down.” Aigis nodded seriously. “I will commit to all the same things as Mr. Astley, if you are doing the same.”

“Aigis, I-“ Kotone blushed, her eyes widening. “That- wow, um, okay. So would you say we’re together forever, and never to part?”

“Yes.” Aigis squeezed her gently. “That is exactly what I am saying.”

“…hell yeah.”

Chapter Text

“Nah, look, see?” Skull grinned as he knocked on the front door of the house and put his hands on his hips. “They ain’t here, they left for the holidays.”

“I dunno…” Panther bit the inside of her cheek, staring at the door. “There totally was that party a few days ago…”

“Don’t worry about it man, they left since then!” Skull grabbed the doorhandle, twisting it open with a grin beneath his mask. “It’ll be totally fine, Ann.”

“Ryuji, what’s the point of codenames if we don’t stick to them!” Panther huffed as she and her partner stepped into the front hallway of the house, their flashlights bouncing across the walls as they did. “Hey, wait a second. If they left, then why is the door unlocked?”

“Uh…” Skull shrugged, stepping forward. “I dunno. Rich people are dumb?”

There was the sound of something snapping as Skull’s foot collided with a tripwire hung through the entrance, the lights of the house suddenly flickering on in an instant. The two thieves only had time to try and cover their eyes before there was a flash of red and yellow across the wall, and a hatch in the roof above them opened. A pair of bowling balls tied to ropes fell from above, swinging and colliding with their stomachs in a moment. The two thieves had their breath knocked out of them as they were sent careening back and down the front steps, landing in the snow of the walkway with heaving chests. Above them, a boy in a red and yellow hat stared down at them from the upper floor window, a grin on his face.

“GET SMOKED!”

Chapter Text

ALIBABA – VIOLETBOW DM

alibaba: sumi

alibaba: sumire

alibaba: sumi

alibaba: sumiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

alibaba: sumire

violetbow: Oh, yes Futaba?

alibaba: sumi

alibaba: oh hey

alibaba: i found something out, something MAJOR

alibaba: i gotta tell someone

violetbow: Oh wow, um, okay.

violetbow: Thank you for trusting me with this.

violetbow: What is it?

alibaba: the water

alibaba: the chemicals in it

alibaba: its turning the freaking frogs gay

violetbow: Pardon me?

alibaba: the japanese government is putting chemicals in the water thats turning the freaking frogs gay

violetbow: Futaba…

violetbow: Are you alright? Should I call Ren?

alibaba: im more than alright, im enlightened

alibaba: come to leblanc, ill show you

violetbow: Pardon?

violetbow: Futaba?

violetbow: Futaba, are you there?

violetbow: Oh no.

---

Sumire walked quickly through the streets of Yongen-Jaya, her hands tapping against the strap of her bag as she went. She knew Futaba was probably fine, this was far from the first time she’d ever texted her some… concerning things, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t worried. She stopped in front of the door to Leblanc, taking a deep breath. It’d be fine. It’s fine. This is just classic Futaba.

Classic… Futaba…..

Sumire found herself suddenly unsure of how to think as she stepped through the front door and caught sight of Futaba waiting for her. She was sitting at the near end of the bar, a glass of water in front of her. More importantly, she was wearing an adorable green frog hoodie, and grinning at Sumire in that adorable way of hers. Adorably.

Adorably.

“Sumire!” Futaba shot a finger gun at Sumire, causing the other girl to squeak in surprise. “There you are! Here, I present to you, my evidence!”

“Y-your um…” Sumire gulped, her heart pounding in her chest. “Your evidence?”

“Yep! Mwehehe!” Futaba took a swig of the water in the glass, before setting it down and leaping into Sumire’s arms. Sumire squeaked as she caught the other girl, thankful for how relatively small Futaba was in the few moments before the orange haired girl leaned up and planted a kiss on her cheek. “I told you, the chemicals in the water are turning the frogs gay!”

And in that moment, Sumire knew from the very depths of her heart, that if there really were chemicals in the water, they definitely worked on more than just frogs.