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Hi guys! This is my first long Greys fanfic, and I'm really excited to see where it goes, I hope you all really enjoy it and please leave me a review if you do and it really motivates me to keep updating!

 It’s also my first time posting on AO3, but I have an FF.net account (user: daisy2007) with some of my other stories, but I’m trying posting on both platforms for the first time. Enjoy!

Amelia couldn't stand it anymore she had to get out of there. Charlotte with her sad "I know what you're going through eyes". Because she didnt know what she was going through, and she didn't need her sympathy. Sheldon with his constant neediness and smoothering, acting as if she didn't have bigger things going on in her life. But she did have bigger things going on in her life, nothing to do with him. Addie with that look of concern, and worse, disappointment. She acted as though Amelia's choices were an attack against her personally, but it had bothing to do with Addie. But the concern and disappointment wasn't the worst bit, it was the guilt. The look as though to ask "Was it my fault?" But it had nothing to do with her, it's Amelia's life, no one elses. Being in LA any longer was going to kill her.


“They know what's going on" Amelia thought to herself. "Well not Sheldon, he doesn't know anything. But Addie and Charlotte know. I can tell from the look in their eyes. The same look people have been giving me since she was 14" Amelia stood up from the foot of the bed and started pacing. "It's not like I've ever come to work high, or drunk, I've never hurt anyone." Amelia was reasoning to herself out loud now. "I would never hurt anyone, I'm just dealing with things how I need to deal with them, I shouldn't have to explain that to anyone,"


"Amelia?" Crap. Addison must have heard her talking.


"What Addie?" She snapped back


"Amy chill, whats wrong you sound stressed?" Addison was doing that guilty look again


"Str..stressed, stressed? What makes you say that? I'm fine Addie, just leave me alone for fucks sake, I'm fine, okay! I'm great actually, better than great! I've decided I'm gonna go and stay in Seattle for a while, with Derek, probably. I've got a load of personal days saved up, so I'm gonna go up, see the kids, and Ryans gonna come up to so I can show him around, so yeah I'm fine, definitely not your problem to worry about."


"Amelia what! Where has this plan suddenly come from? You can't just up and leave, talk to me Amy, what's the matter?"


"Addie I've seen the way you and Charlotte look at me. You don't look at anyone else like that, or when you go out drinking until the early hours of the morning, you dont see a problem with anyone else's drinking, but mine? Mine is all your business isn't it? People drink Addie, it's normal!"


"Not alcoholics Amy, thats not normal,"


"I'm not a fucking alcoholic!"


"Amelia are you high right now? Drunk? You're not thinking straight. Have you even called Derek to ask him?"


“He's my brother Addie, whats he going to do, turn me away on the doorstep? I've packed my bag already, I need to leave for the airport now if I don't want to miss my flight."


"Amelia please don't do this, don't leave."


"Its already done Addie. I'll call you tomorrow." And Amelia picked up her bag and walked out without looking back. Addison stared at her as the door slammed, wondering what else she could have done.



I hope you liked it! Please leave a review if you did, along with any suggestions, I'm really excited for the fic!
- Daisy

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Two chapters in one day? Whos this! I really hope you enjoy this. Also just for a timeline explanation, this story correlates with season 5 of PP, but not a specific season of GA. Imagine however that the plane crash didn't happen, and Meredith and Derek have all 3 kids (and Derek is alive obviously). Also I'm assuming Amelia's spent a significant enough time at Seattle Grace Mercy West for her to have formed relationships with people

Addison watched as Amelia's taxi pulled out of her driveway and off in the direction of the airport, and then decided it was time to pass the Amelia responsibility on, because she couldn’t help her from here. She grabbed her phone of the table, scrolled through her contacts and clicked dial

Addison: "Hey Derek, are you there?"

Derek: "Yeah I'm here whatsup?"

Addison: "Am I on speaker?"

Derek: "Um not now whats going on?" Addison never normally talked like this

Addison: "I need to talk to you about Amy, Derek. She's coming to Seattle, shes actually on a plane right now, and she wants to stay with you,"

Derek: "Um okay, how come this is coming from you not her?"

Addison: "Because you can't let her Derek, you can't let her stay in the same house as your children. She's drinking again. I don't think shes on drugs, but I'm worried Derek. Shes left LA because I've tried to intervene, so instead of letting me help her she's run away. But Derek please, don't let her stay in the house with the kids"

Derek's face dropped and he almost threw up

Derek: "Addie...Addie are you bring serious? This isn't some kind of sick joke? Because that's really, really fucking messed up Addison"

Addison: "I'm being serious, I wish I wasn't, believe me. But you know this is a slippery slope for her, I mean she treats it like a freaking water slide, at the worlds worst amusement park. Derek look I know this is a shock, and I'm sorry I didn't phone you before now. But when she shows up I don't think you should mention it. Don't even tell her I phoned. You know what shes like when she gets like this, you're on her side right now, but theres none of us over here that are, so just try and keep it like that,"

Derek: "For fucks sake!"

Addison could here something smash on the other end of the phone and closed her eyes trying not to cry. She knew how much this would ruin Derek

Derek: "Look Addie thanks for the heads up, I'll um, I'll keep in contact and let you know, thanks"

He hung up the phone and ran his hands over his face in disbelief. His baby sister, how did it happen again, he should have been there to stop her, to protect her. But he would do it now, he could fix it now, he had to.

6 hours later

Amelia took a deep breath as she stepped out of the airport. It was going to be another day before Ryan came, her perfect Ryan. She couldn't wait for him to arrive, they could get a place, a place where they could have sex 10 times a day. A place where they could have alcohol, without it being a big deal. Because it wasn't a big deal. Shes a recovered alcoholic, shes in total control of how much she drinks and could stop at any time. She didn't want to stop, because it was her life and her choice, but she could, if she wanted to.

Amelia hailed a taxi and went straight to Seattle Grace Mercy West. She couldn't wait to see Derek, and Mark, and Meredith and the kids. At least here no one would badger her acting like they know best. She would get surgical privileges, and her life would settle back down to normal, without the worried looks from everyone. She'd sobered up slightly on the flight, and decided to stay that way until later in the evening. She'd picked up a bottle of vodka on the way out of the airport though, merely for convenience, so she could have a drink later on if she needed to. No. If she wanted to. She never needed to have a drink, that was completely her choice, just if she wanted to.

The hospital seemed reasonably quiet, so rather than wandering around the neuro floor, Amelia decided to go straight to the attendings lounge, and she was right, because she found her brother and sister in law in there having lunch.

"I'm backkkkk," Amelia leaned on the door frame and grinned at them.

"Amelia!" Meredith jumped up and hugged her, grinning too. Derek smiled, but stayed in his seat. He hadn't told anyone about his phone call with Addison, not even Mer, because he wanted to see for himself. He largely wanted to see if she was drunk when she showed up, which he couldn't tell yet, hence his hanging back.

"Do I not get a hug from my big brother?" Amelia held her arms out and tipped her head to the side.

"Of course," He smiled gently and hugged her, but then sat back down

"So how are you? Hows LA?" Meredith turned to face her as Amelia sat down, both of them beeming widely

"I'm great! LAs amazing, but you know I just had a load of personal days saved up, so I thought I'd come up and see you and the kids, I'd love for you guys to meet my boyfriend, Ryan, he's just so perfect!" Amelia didn't stop smiling once during this spiel, and was racing through her words. This worried Derek as that was what she did when she was hiding something. Trying to get all her words out in one go as though she might forget them, like she'd rehearsed them as lines.

"Thats great! That sounds really good, right babe?" Meredith turned to look at Derek and smiled, hoping he would chime in at some point.

"Yeah Ames, yeah thats good,"

"But anyways, I was hoping, if its not to much bother, if I would be able to stay with you guys for a couple if nights?" Amelia smiled hopefully, looking between the two of them

"Yeah of cour..."

"We'd love to normally Amy, but nows not actually a great time. We're redecorating the spare room at the moment, and you know we've got your Uncle Joe coming into town tomorrow Mer, right?"Derek looked back at Meredith after having cut her off, but she didn't try to interupt him. Meredith and Derek had a code word, Uncle Joe. Neither of them had an Uncle Joe, but it was their way of saying to the other 'I need you to go along with what I'm saying. Its important and I'll explain later, but just go with it'.

"Yeah I'm really sorry Amy, but now just really isn't a good time. We've just got so much going on, the kids going back to school soon as well. You know how it gets," Meredith looked at her sadly, feeling genuinely sorry, but knowing this was one of the times she had to just trust Derek's judgement.

"You could stay in the trailer!" Derek perked up. The last thing he wanted to do was throw her out on the door step, but he had to trust what Addie was saying and he couldn't risk his kids.

"Oh...um ok, thank you, that would be good thanks," Amelia's face dropped, but she picked up her smile again not wanting them to spot anything. "Thank you really. Hey you know, Ryans flight is gonna get in tomorrow afternoon, how about we all get dinner?"

"Yeah that would be good Ames, I'd really like that," Derek smiled and squeezed her hand from across the table. "Hey we'd better go, I'm being paged to the pit for a massive MVC, Mer you should come too," Derek stood up and smiled at her again, then walked out. Meredith smiled and squeezed her sister in law's shoulder, then followed Derek out.

Amelia breathed out deeply as they left and closed her eyes. She had somewhere to stay. She didn't have to grovel at anyone. In fact the trailer was probably better. She had her own space, she wouldn't be crowded by them, she was more in control of her life. She breathed easier now, maybe this would all work out even more smoothly than she'd hoped.

Hope you all enjoyed, please leave a review, follow and favourite if you did!

- Daisy

Chapter Text

Hi all! I've had the next few chapters written for a few days now, I was just holding off publishing to make sure I wanted to write it this way. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy, and please leave a review if you do!

Amelia needed to talk to Owen Hunt. She thought anyway, they change Chief of Surgery round here like they're nothing. She paused for a moment after she stood up and looked over at her bag. She walked over to it, unscrewed the top of the vodka and took a swig before replacing it in the bag and putting that bag in her suitcase. She walked out of the lounge, shoulders more relaxed and feeling more confident. Its not like she was operating today. Thousands of people have a drink for extra courage everyday. Theres nothing weird about that.

By the time Amelia had finished this conversation in her head she found herself at the door of the Chief, without really realising it. She pulled put a pack of breath mints from her coat pocket, popped one in her mouth and knocked.

"Come in," A deep mans voice called from inside. So it was still Owen, which was good. Amelia thought she stood the best chance of getting privileges with him.

"Dr Hunt," Amelia opened the door and nodded to him behind his desk

"Dr Shepherd, long time no see," Owen looked up and put his pen down. He was surprised to see her, it was a few years since she'd been in Seattle, and he hadn't heard that she was coming back

"It's good to see you Owen," She walked over and shook his hand before taking a seat across from him

"Likewise Amelia, anything I can help you with today? I didn't even know you were in Seattle,"

"No it was a surprise visit. I wanted to talk to you because I'm going to be in Seattle for the next couple of weeks, possibly the foreseeable future. Wanted to be closer to the family, you know. But I was wondering if it would be possible to get surgical privileges while I'm here? I can only imagine how bored I'll be if I'm not working, there's only so many tourist attractions in Seattle. But if you don't mind I'd really love to do a few weeks working here." Amelia smiled at him hopefully

"Of course you can have privileges! I'm never going to deny a Dr Shepherd privileges in this hospital. In fact I can do you one better, if you're going to be here for the foreseeable how about an attending position in neuro? We're always in need of new attendings anyway, and I'd be stupid not to hire a Dr Shepherd whos sat on my doorstep,"

"Yes that would be brilliant thank you!" Life in Seattle was starting off brilliantly for Amelia

"I'd need to confirm with Derek, of course, but he'll say yes, I'm sure. What day is it today, Saturday? Lets say you start Monday morning?" Owen stood uo to shake her habd once again and smiled

"Pleasure doing business with you Dr Hunt," Amelia shook his hand then left the office, feeling as cool and relaxed as possible.

"See," Amelia thought to herself "An alcoholic would go and get a drink right now, but I won't, because I'm not an alcoholic," She smiled to herself contently, then stuck her hands in her pockets, grabbed another mint and went on a walk, proud of how self sufficient she was being.

The MVC took ages to clear, but luckily none of the patients were surgical for either Derek or Meredith, so they were out of the pit about an hour and a half later. Derek was stood at the front desk signing papers when Meredith walked over having finished her last set of stitches.

"Dr Shepherd have you got a minute to talk?" Meredith was concerned about Derek, he never turned his sisters away, never

Derek kept looking at his paper as"Yeah course, whats up?" Meredith looked around at the other doctors stood there, Lexie Grey, Callie Torres, Jackson Avery, plus half a dozen nurses. They couldn't have the conversation there.

"Um about Uncle Joe, Derek," Derek turned to look at her, then back at the other doctors. They were hardly paying the pair any attention, but still, this was a conversation to have in private

"You know what? I need to scan these papers onto the database, why don't you walk with me?" He gave her a meaningful look, and they both walked towards the elevators briskly, hoping to find an empty on call room upstairs. As luck would have it, the first room Derek stuck his head into was empty, so he ducked in quickly followed by Meredith, and they clicked the lock shut.

"Uncle Joe? What's going on Derek, why can't your sister stay with us?" Meredith span round and folded her arms across her chest

"Okay um," Derek ran his hand over his face and sat down on the edge of a bed, head in his hands. "Addison called me this morning. She um..she said Amelias been drinking again. And that her coming to Seattle isn't to come and spend more time with the family, its to get away from LA and the people who know shes started drinking again,"

"Oh my god, are...are you sure," Meredith dropped her arms and started fidgeting with her necklace

"Yeah but Mer, Addie said don't let her stay in the house with the kids, and I think she's right. I mean I love Amy more than anything, but if shes drinking again then she's heading down the road to using again, and she can't stay with us," Derek looked up at his wife with tears in his eyes

"No of course, I completely agree. So do you think Addies right? I mean what do we do?" Meredith bent down in front of Derek and held both of his hands

"I don't know, I really don't know," Derek put his head back in his hands and Meredith hugged him tight to her chest, wishing she could make it better.

Derek and Meredith decided to just not say anything to Amelia for now, not unless the situation got any worse. For starters they couldn't think of what they would say anyway, but then again, Addison was right. They were on her side now, and that would carry on for as long as they weren't trying to interfere with her.

They walked out of the on call room over to the front desk where Mark Sloan was stood.

"Hey ho!" Mark chuckled and smirked. "Dr Shepherd, Dr Grey, aren't we a little old for on call rooms now? I mean you have a house, a big one!"

"Grow up Sloan, not all of us are as horny as you," Derek hardly looked at him as he walked past to sign in to one of the computers.

"Derek, Hunts looking for you," Mark said still grinning.

"Hunt? Why, did he say why?"

"No idea man, but there he is ask him now," Mark pointed behind Derek where Owen Hunt was walking over to the pair

"Derek, I just wanted to run something by you, if you've got a minute. Your sister came to me this morning asking if she could get surgical privileges, because shes going to be in town for a while right? I suggested I hire her on Neuro while shes here, I mean we need another attending anyway, but I just need to run it past you first with you being department head and all,"

"Oh right, I didn't know she wanted to work, I thought she wanted a break from work." Derek paused for a moment, brain racing as he did. "Um, why don’t we just wait, you know, she doesn't know how long she's gonna be here, and its just a lot of paper work and a lot of contracts if she ended up not being here for long, so maybe we should just wait and see,"

"Okay sure, whatever you thinks best, thanks Shepherd," Owen tapped his clipboard on the desk and walked away

"Amys back in town? Since when? And why don't you want to put her fully on your service?" Mark chimed in once Hunt was out of earshot. He hadn't wanted to interrupt whilst the Chief was there, anyone who knew the Shepherds properly knew Amelia Shepherd could be a sensitive topic, definitely not one to be brought up lightly.

"Yeah, yeah shes back in town, shes here now actually," Derek looked over his shoulder and saw the floor around them deserted. "Listen Mark I need to tell you something that you're only the 3rd person in Seattle to know. I'm telling you because it's important that you know specifically, and I need you to not treat it like gossip, because if anyone finds this out I'll know you told them and I'll kill you,"

"Derek what the hell is wrong,"

"Addie called me this morning,"

"Oh shit Derek, are you cheating on Mer with Addie? Because I get it, I've been there, but I would not recommend the affair thing man. Wait does Amy know, is that why you don't want her around?"

"Mark, Amys drinking, shes got a boyfriend coming into town tomorrow too, I think he might have something to do with it, but it's Amy so if she's drinking then she's on her way to using again," Derek looked at Mark with his jaw hanging open. "Mark do you get what I'm saying,"

Mark closed his mouth and gulped "Amy's drinking, and she might start using again. Shes also doing surgery. Shes an alcoholic which means at some point the two are going to collide. Between the two of us and let me guess, Mer too, we have to make sure she's sober going into every surgery. We need to keep an eye on her for the point she starts using again, because if she does, its too late for us to do anything. I know Derek, I remember the drill. I was there when she was a kid, and when she relapsed in New York. I drove the fucking car to rehab remember. With you and Addie sat in the back with her crying. I remember Derek, I know the drill," Mark took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He felt numb.

"Okay I know I'm sorry that was patronising, I just, I just thought you needed to know. I just..." But before he could finish Mark cut him off

"Hold that thought, Hurricane Amelia incoming," They both stopped talking and turned to face Amelia coming down the hall.

"Amyy!" Mark did his Mark Sloan smirk as she ran up to him, jumped and hugged him round his neck

"So Mark, tomorrow night Derek, Mer, Ryan and I are going out for dinner for them to meet eachother, so you're gonna come to because you're family! Oh and bring Lexie too! I mean you guys have been together for what, a year now? Shes Mer's family and shes yours, so Lexie should come to!" Amelia kept smiling, she actually hadn't stopped smiling since she got off the plane

"Yeah Amy, yeah that would be amazing," Mark smiled looking deep into her eyes looking for some kind of hint to what was going on

"Well!" Amelia snapped away from the eye contact feeling the tension between them building. "I'm very jetlagged and shattered, so I'm gonna go back to the trailer now, but I will see you guys tomorrow! Spare key still in the same place?" She looked at Derek but didn't wait for an answer. "So it is time for me to love and leave you because there is a very comfy bed called my name," And she walked off, ponytail swinging behind her.

"She has no idea we know does she?" Mark folded his arms and looked at Derek.

"No, she had no idea," They both turned back to face the desk and just stared. Hurricane Amelia was back.

Fuck.

I hope you all liked it, please leave a review if you did! And feel free to add any suggestions too, thanks!

- Daisy

Chapter Text

Hii! Hope you're all enjoying so far, please leave a review if you did, I'm really looking forward to where this is going! This is a bit of a longer one, so consider it a Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays present!

TW: Serious mentions of alcoholism/drug addiction from this point on. Also suggestions to EDs and unhealthy eating habits

Amelia wandered back up to the attending's lounge to pick up her bags before heading to the trailer. She grabbed her suitcase handle and pulled it up, but then paused before leaving. She waiting for a few seconds, but then unzipped the case, pulled out the vodka and took a swig, but then quickly screwed the top back on and shoved it in her bag when she heard someone approaching.

"Dr Webber!" Amelia smiled when she saw him.

"Dr Shepherd! Good to see you, what brings you over to this neck of the woods, last I heard you were in LA still?" Richard walked towards her and hugged her. Amelia held her breath as he did, and she popped a mint in her mouth as soon as he stepped back. Richard knew Amelia had had sobriety issues in the past, he was one of the few people at the hospital who did. But she was very keen to keep her drinking from him, for now at least, because if anyone made a big deal out of it it would be him.

"I just wanted to come up closer to home for a few weeks, but I've got privileges here, so I'm just hanging out for a while. But I've got quite a lot on tomorrow Richard, maybe we could catch up some other time?" She smiled and yawned, hoping he would just let her go

"Of course, well it'll be good to have you around again. Goodnight Amelia,"

"Goodnight Richard," And she walked out of the lounge. Richard watched the back of her head proceed down the corridor. She was acting strangely, he couldn't quite put his finger on why, but she was, as though she was trying to lie or cover something up. He would keep an eye on her, because something wasn't quite right.

Amelia got a cab back to the trailer that evening. She was going to have to stop getting cabs or it would bankrupt her eventually. Ryan was going to rent a car when he got there though, then he'd be able to drop her of at work, pick her up again at the end of the day. She couldn't wait for them to have their own place. Well kind of a place. But they'd have their privacy. She kicked off her shoes by the door and went and lay down. Her phone vibrated with a new message as soon as she did, and the screen lit up with Ryan's name. The message wishing her a good night made her feel warm and fuzzy, like a teenager looking at their crush. No one had ever loved Amelia like Ryan did, not her family, not Addison, not even the booze or drugs. Ryan was like a drug all on his own.

Amelia sent a goodnight message back to him, and wished him a good flight, promising to meet him at the airport as soon as he landed. Even when Ryan wasn't with her, just the thought of him felt comforting, felt safe. After texting Ryan she figured she should probably let Addison know she was okay too, otherwise the older girl would start mithering all her Seattle friends to keep an eye on her too. She just needed to learn how to relax. Amelia shot her a quick message, much more brief than the one to Ryan, just to tell her that she was safe and staying at the trailer. Without waiting for a response though she switched her phone off and plugged it in next to her bed. She rolled on to her back and stared up at the ceiling, fidgeting. In an attempt to get more comfortable pulled her sweater off, then wiggled out of her jeans so she was left in just her panties and tank top. There was still something wrong through. The bottle of vodka was lying at the foot of her bed so she grabbed it and took a swig so that only about 1/2 the bottle was left. It would just help her sleep, that's all. And true to her belief she instantly felt more relaxed.

Really she should have something to eat. She couldn't remember the last time she ate anything, last night maybe? But that was the other thing about the vodka, it made her feel skinny. As though the alcohol just fizzed away all the fat on her body. Amelia's favourite feelings in the world largely consisted of things related to Ryan, then being drunk, perhaps watching a patient with a supposedly inoperable tumour wake up after she resected it with no deficits at all. But right up there with those feelings was feeling skinny. There was nothing quite like it. And if she ever got really drunk or high, to the point people were staring, she could tell herself they were jealous of her, of her body. She went to sleep to this thought, feeling relaxed about the start to life in Seattle. For the first time in a while she felt in control.

Meanwhile, back in LA, Addison was still sat behind her desk, having not moved for over an hour. She couldn't let herself leave without having heard from Amelia, her legs just wouldn't let her.

"Hey Addie you heading out soon?" Charlotte stuck her head round the door frame, blonde hair swinging despite there being no breeze. "What's wrong darlin' you look like you seen a ghost,"

"Charlotte erm, Amelia's gone, shes gone to Seattle I don't think shes coming back," Addison said it very quietly, as though saying it loudly would make it more real.

"Gone? How can she just be gone?"

"She realised we both knew about her drinking, she said she couldn't stand to be here anymore. Shes gone to Seattle with Ryan, and shes got people over there, but I think this it. Charlotte I think shes too far gone." Addison wiped the tears away from her cheeks not knowing what to do anymore. Charlotte couldn't help but think she could have stopped her before it got this far. She reached across the desk and grabbed Addison's hand, both if them knowing it was too late to fix it now.

When Amelia woke up the next morning she decided not to bother with breakfast. She was going to have a big meal that night after all it wasn't that important. She took a swig out of the bottle lying on the floor in order to stop her stomach growling, then she would grab a coffee or something once she met up with Ryan. It wasn't like there was any food in the trailer anyway, she should probably pick some stuff up so they had some food this week. Luckily for Amelia there was a bus stop about a 10 minutes walk from the trailer, so she wanted out and waited for the next airport shuttle. She brought her cross body bag with her but left the vodka.

"An alcoholic would bring it with them," She thought out loud. "But I'm clearly not an alcoholic, because I don't need to bring it," She smiled to herself feeling proud, feeling totally in control

The bus to the airport was only a 15 minute journey, but the bus was late so she ended up getting there only just in time. As she walked into baggage claim she saw a tall, brooding man walking towards her, head hung low looking at his phone.

"Ryan!" Amelia screamed and ran towards him. He dropped his bags next to him as she jumped at him and wrapped her legs around his waist. He held onto her tightly (not that it took a lot of effort, she weighed nothing) and kissed her deeply, not wanting to let go.

"Hey baby, I missed you," Ryan put her down, picked up his bag again and they walked towards the exit, Amelia wrapped around his right arm. "So where we staying them? Your brothers place?"

"Not quite, were staying in his trailer, its basically a caravan. But it means we've got our own space. Their place has 3 kids running around, you can't have sex around the clock there," She smirked at him and he bent his head down to kiss her

"Mm, you taste like vodka," he smiled at her as they stepped onto the bus.

"Yeah well I couldn't be asked cooking last night," As they sat down Amelia's phone lit up with a message from Derek, reading '7 O'Clock at the steakhouse across from the hospital alright with you?' She looked at the time realising it was already 3. She must have slept for a lot longer than she'd thought. Amelia shot him back a text to say they would be there, and relaxed leaning into Ryan's body, her safe place.

They lay in bed talking for a while when they got back to the trailer. Well, not just talking. Amelia felt safe when they were together, like nothing would be able to get either of them. They hadn't even drank anything. She never felt like she had to when she was with Ryan, not unless Ryan was drinking, but then she wanted to so he wouldn't feel upset that she wasn't. There was just no pressure. Ryan encouraged her to do stuff, sure but she never had to, she wanted to, to make him happy.

"Hey Meels, guess what I got while I was waiting for you at the airport," He rolled onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow to face her. Amelia tucked the bed sheet around her bare chest and looked at him, as he pulled out a thin, white, roughly wrapped tube.

"You wanna smoke it with me? I could only get one, it was all the guy had on him, but we can share it," Amelia stared at the joint contemplating for a second before saying yes enthusiastically. After all she didn't want to upset him. Ryan propped open a window next to them, flicked his lighter and inhaled deeply, then laughed as he lay back on his pillow and handed it to Amelia. She took a hit without coughing too, it might have been a while, but once you know how to smoke you don't forget. The sheets seemed to melt around her body as the joint warmed her up. Smoking that joint felt like coming home after along time away. It felt normal.

They had to get dressed to go out not long after that. Ryan was in a black suit with the top few buttons of his shirt undone, allowing his chest to peak through. Amelia was wearing a very dark red mini dress with a slit in the leg and strappy black high heels. She'd picked the dress because she knew it was Ryan's favourite. He always said it showed off her chest very favourably, and also made him hold onto her all night when she wore it.

The taxi to the restaurant was quick, and when they got there everyone else was already sat down. Amelia looked at her reflection in the window, bushed her dress off and tried to smooth down her hair, but Ryan grabbed her hand and kissed it.

"You look gorgeous babe, now come on lets go in," Ryan smiled as Amelia wrapped her arm around his again and they walked in. As they approached the table her 4 friends were sitting at, it was Mark that looked up and saw them first.

"Hey guys!" He smiled and Marks greeting caused the dress of them to look up too.

"Hi! Guys this is Ryan, my boyfriend," Amelia beamed as she said the words, then looked up and kissed him. "Ry, this is Derek, Meredith, Mark and Lexie,"

Derek stood up and shook his hand. "Good to meet you man, I've heard a lot about you,"

"All good things I hope," Ryan chuckled at his own joke, but Derek merely gave a small smile to be polite before turning to his sister

"You look beautiful Amy," and he kissed her on the cheek before pulling out the chair next to him. Ryan took the chair on her other side, opposite Mark, who introduced himself again and shook hands with him.

Lexie complemented Amelia on her dress, but then there was a moment of awkward silence whilst they all looked at the menus before the waiter came over.

"Can I get you folks started on some drinks whilst you decide on food," The smiley waiter walked over to their table and looked to each one of them as they ordered their drinks. A pint Derek, red wine for Lexie and Mark, a mojito for Meredith, and a pint for Ryan too. "And for you Ma'am?" The waiter looked to Amelia as the only one who hadn't ordered yet.

"A white wine please," She snapped the menu closed and handed it to the waiter smiling and he walked away. Derek's stomach dropped when she said it though. If she would so blatantly have a drink while they were all there with her then Derek could only imagine what she would do when they weren't there.

"You're drinking?" Derek said quietly without looking up from the table. Everyone else at the table fell silent and looked at the pair

"Well you know, it's a special occasion," Amelia had a hint of bitterness in her voice.

"I see." The passive aggressiveness was thick in the air between the two of them now.

"Mhm." Amelia bit her lip trying to refrain from retaliating. She knew he wanted her to rise to it, but she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

"So how long have you been drinking then?" But Derek hardly got the second question out before she stood up.

"Excuse me," Amelia looked at everyone else but Derek and smiled. "I just need to use the restroom," And she picked up her purse and turned to walk away.

"I should probably go and see if shes okay," Ryan started but then Meredith stood up.

"No she'll be in the ladies, I'll go don't worry," Meredith followed her sister in law leaving the other four sat in an incredibly awkward silence.

Luckily there was no one else in the bathroom when Amelia pushed the door open, so she walked over to the sink with a huge gold framed mirror behind it. The marble sink was cold when she grabbed the sides, it made her shiver. When she looked up in the mirror she saw she was shaking. If only she had a drink right now, it would calm her down completely. Her mascara was smudged under her eyes too, but she didn't know if she'd rubbed it or shed a few tears without even realising. She started trying to rub it away with water from the tap when the door swung open again

"Hey," Meredith said softly, stood just inside the door way. "I wanted to check if you're okay, and maybe if you need a makeup wipe it seems. It feels like you need a sister right now Amelia,"

"Yeah I'm fine," Amelia laughed to try and show that she was actually fine. "I mean I'd be better if Derek minded his own business, but that was the same case when I was like 10," She sniffed and looked back at her reflection. "I'll take a makeup wipe though, please, I just smudged it. I really am okay Mer, I'm fine,"

"I know you're okay,"

"Hey what do you think of Ryan?" Amelia span round and smiled, hoping to lighten the mood and stop Meredith looking so concerned.

"He seems lovely Amelia, he really does,"

"D'you think Derek and Mark like him too?"

"Yeah of course, all they want is you to be happy,"

"Well I am happy, really happy," Amelia cut Meredith off quickly, not wanting her to keep going.

"I know Amelia, and Derek knows too, he just wants to make sure you're okay, and you're safe. He knows that wasn't fair to start asking you stuff like that while we're at dinner, he just wants to make sure you're okay," Meredith was actively trying to keep a sad or concerned look of her face, any thing that might make her want to stop talking to her

"Hey you know Mer, we should probably go back, they've probably ordered fold already, we should go," Amelia walked past Meredith swiftly, being careful not to barge into her, but not waiting for her either.

The rest of dinner went a lot more smoothly. When Amelia and Meredith came back no one mentioned what had just happened, but instead continued on with the small talk. There was a glass of white wine sat on the table in front of Amelia's chair when she sat down, which she took a sip from immediately. She resisted the urge to down the whole glass in one go, knowing that would cause a world of trouble. She had to show them she was in control, but Amelia's instinct had been right because the second the wine hit the back of her throat it was as though someone had hit a button to make her calm down. She relaxed more into the conversation from that point, even turning to talk to Derek about what she'd been doing in LA. Amelia only ordered the one drink all night. She wanted more, but it was more hassle than it was worth. Besides, it was probably better that she didn't have too much around the others, it didn't take her long to be drunk nowadays, She supposed she'd lost weight and that was why. It made her smile inside to think about that though. Mark seemed to quite like Ryan, which Amelia was glad about because she hoped that he could make Derek come around. Derek was being perfectly polite to Ryan whenever necessary, but seemed to be avoiding conversation with him still.

Amelia and Ryan were the first to leave after dinner. Ryan insisted on covering the whole bill on their way out, much to Derek's displeasure. The others were still standing up and putting their coats of as Amelia and Ryan stepped out into the cold evening air.

"Ugh that feels good, it felt kind if stuffy in there don't you think?" Ryan shook his shoulders as the breeze hit them. He'd taken off his jacket and put it around Amelia's shoulders before they left, but even with the jacket going down further than her dress it was still very short. They were holding hands but as they cleared the door way Ryan span her round in his arms and kissed her deeply. Amelia let him, obviously.

"What was that for?" Amelia chuckled as he pulled away from her, but before Ryan could answer though someone wolf whistled behind Amelia. There were four 20 year old guys stood smoking outside the restaurant, the one who had whistled stood at the front of the group.

"I don't blame you man, I'd hit that too, I'd have a piece of that ass. Fuck and those tits, WOW," Amelia whipped her head around and clutched Ryan's jacket tighter around her body. Derek, Mark, Meredith and Lexie were walking out of the restaurant too by now and saw the interaction from just behind the glass.

"You're gonna walk away now, otherwise you can deal with me instead of her," Ryan pulled Amelia behind him and squared his shoulders he he walked up to the guy.

"Oh come on shes a big girl, she can make her own decisions. Ain't that right sweetheart!" The guy was clearly drunk, slurring his speech as he shouted at Amelia.

"Hey you need to walk away now," Derek was speaking to the guy now, putting himself in front of him to stop him coming any closer. But before Derek could say anything else Ryan's fist collided with the head of his head, and then a second time to his stomach.

"WHOA!" Mark had grabbed Ryan's shoulders and pulled him back before he could get a third hit in. He had to use all his strength to push him back away from the guy bleeding profusely from his nose. It took Mark and Derek to push Ryan far enough away from the wolf whistler for him to stand up. Only Amelia's fingers intertwining with his made him turn around though.

"It looks like he's got a broken nose, but a hit like that doesn't cause lasting damage," Amelia was talking quietly, almost nervously. It was strange for the others to hear, because who had ever heard of a shy Amelia Shepherd. "He'll be fine, but he should get his nose reset at a hospital. Ryan, babe, lets go." Amelia held his hand tighter as she pulled him into a cab. Ryan's knuckles were bruising already and bloody, but it seemed like it wasn't his blood. He wrapped an arm tight around her shoulders and she lent into him.

"I'm sorry," She said it quietly, almost too quietly for him to hear, but Ryan didn't lash out just kissed her head.

"It's not your fault baby, I'm just protecting you," No one had ever loved her like that, not like Ryan did.