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Chapter Text

Sirius Black hasn’t been to a church in ten years. 

He walks, the heels of his shoes sending echoing sounds against the decorates walls, searching for a confessional booth. 
Normally, being the stubborn and independent type, he wouldn’t give two shits about talking about his ”problems” with anyone. He never had opened up like that, really, unless it was about something small that he could discuss with a friend, but simultaneously he’d felt a weird fascination with the idea of turning to a complete stranger and letting them know his secrets.

Sure, a church might not exactly be a judgement-free zone, but it’s cheaper and more private than therapy. 

As he takes a turn to the left, he is finally faced with the wooden booth.

He takes in a deep breath as he walks over to it, his steps a bit slow with growing hesitance. Should he just go back? Should he just call his friends and dump all the information on them? Should he-

He’s already at the booth. 

He runs a hand through his hair, huffing out a breath, and opens the door. 

He takes a seat, the small booth feeling a bit uncomfortable for a grown man of his height. His eyes dart around, looking at the carved wood accents on the walls. It’s quite beautiful, he admits to himself. 

”Is anyone there?” 

A voice cuts off his train of thought.

A deep voice. 

”Oh. Yes. Um, hi,” he answers, cursing himself in his head for how awkward the introduction was. 

”Hello,” the voice answers, ”do you wish to confess your sins?” 

Sirius almost feels taken aback. The voice coming from the other side of the booth is that of a man, and it sounds beautiful.

Smooth, deep, like it’s trying to lure you in. He can detect a hint of an accent, but can't quite pinpoint the origin.

”Yes, I…” he thinks for a second, not really sure how to proceed in a situation like this.

Suddenly, he hears a soft laugh. 

”It’s alright. I’m guessing you’re nervous? Believe me, I won’t judge you. Whatever it is that you’re here to say I can guarantee I’ve heard worse,” the voice says, a smile evident in its tone. Sirius lets out a sigh. 

”Okay…” he says under his breath. ”Umh… forgive me, father, for I have sinned,” he says, the sentence almost sounding like a question with how unsure he is of whether or not he’s saying it right. 

”Very good. How long has it been since your last confession?” the voice asks. Sirius thinks silently for a second. 

”Umh… I haven’t…”

”Is this your first time?” the man asks. Sirius feels his face heat up a bit. 

”It is, yes,” he answers. 

”That’s okay. I’m glad that you’ve decided to turn to the house of God,” the voice says. ”Please, tell me what’s weighing on your conscious?” 

Sirius buries his face in his hands. The man’s voice is incredibly distracting from what he's here to do.

He rubs his face for a bit, rethinking if he really even should admit to his recent actions. 

”Whenever you’re ready,” the voice says. The reminder that they’re not in a rush soothes Sirius’ nerves a bit, and he finally opens his mouth. 

”I’m… attracted to men," he begins, "well, I’m not only attracted to them, it’s like I crave to be touched by one whenever I can."

The man on the other side stays silent as Sirius continues.

"I’m addicted to them. I love sleeping with them, kissing them, flirting with them- it’s like… I don’t know. I’m not ashamed of being gay, don’t get me wrong. I love loving men. I’ve just… recently I feel like I’ve been going a bit overboard with the amount of men I’ve slept with, and that’s been making me feel guilty. So I guess that’s why I’m here. I feel like I need an intervention or something.” 

Once Sirius realises he’s been rambling, he goes completely quiet, and so does the booth. All he can hear is his own breathing, and for a second he’s scared he’s shocked the poor man sitting on the other side. That is until the voice finally speaks up. 

”An intervention…” the man repeats, his tone almost curious. ”Why do you feel guilty?”

Sirius feels dumbfounded. ”Well… because I feel like I’m being passed around?”

”You are in control of your own body, are you not?” the voice asks, ”is that really your own impression, or are you afraid of what others might think if they find out?”

The question makes Sirius go quiet again as he thinks. It’s an excellent question, he has to admit. 
”I’m… I’m not sure. A bit of both, maybe?” he answers. 

”Understandable,” the man says, ”I wouldn’t be too worried about what others say. After all, only God can judge us.”

”So… you aren’t judging me?” Sirius asks, his voice careful. 

”No, my child. My job is to listen, guide, make people feel better. Never to judge,” the voice says, tone soft and soothing. It makes Sirius feel oddly comfortable. 

”Oh… thank you,” he responds, ”I was scared you were gonna tell me I’m disgusting or something,” he says with an awkward laugh. 

”Disgusting?” the voice says, responding to the laugh with a quiet one, ”no, no. You’re far from disgusting. You are a creation of God, just like we all are. We are all human, and we all sin.” 

Sirius huffs out another laugh. ”I don’t think we all do. I mean, you’ve probably never done anything remotely sinful, Father.”

The title tastes off as it rolls from Sirius' tongue. He hasn't called anyone that in years.

The man laughs aswell, a bit more bright this time. ”Nobody’s perfect, myself included,” he says. 

”Oh? What have you done, then?” Sirius asks. He can’t help but be intrigued, his gossipy persona shining through. The man only responds with another short, breathy laugh. 

”I can’t say, I’m afraid. That’s between me and the Lord,” he says, tone playful. Sirius pouts at this. 

”Fine… maybe it’s good if you keep it professional.”

”I do try my best every day,” the man says.

There’s a moment of silence before he continues. ”Is there anything else you’d like to admit?” 

Sirius thinks for a bit, before responding; ”No. I think I’ve said enough.” 

”Very well,” the man says, ”then I wish you a good rest of your evening.” 

Sirius’ eyebrows furrow a bit. ”What? Really? Am I not getting a penance or a punishment or something?” he asks. 

The man lets out a sigh, and Sirius can hear him stand up on the other side of the booth.

He then hears the door open, and a few steps right behind his side of the booth. 

”If you come back next week with an actual confession, I’ll be sure to give you one,” the man says, the words coated with a challenging tone. After that, the only sound audible is footsteps, slowly fading away. 

Sirius sits in the booth, looking forward at the door, eyes wide.

Was the man he just spoke to really a priest, or was someone messing with him? Did he really ’get away’ with just a conversation? Was the man challenging him?

Whatever the answers were to the questions spurring in his mind, one thing was for certain:

The man’s voice was extremely attractive. 

Chapter Text

”You need to get laid.”

Friday night finds Sirius sitting in his close friend James’s bar downtown. James had promised Sirius discounted drinks and small sums of money in exchange for favors whenever they were needed, and today has been one of those days.

However, Sirius is finding it hard to keep the drink in his mouth after his friend’s comment.

”No. No, no, no,” he disagrees, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, ”you’re supposed to tell me to not get laid.” 

”Why? It’d be a good way to clear your head,” James defends.

Sirius lets out a sigh, the priest’s voice playing on loop in his head. He had briefly told James about their ’meeting’ today, and it was safe to say that the young man was now completely invested.

”I just… fuck,  I can’t stop thinking about it. About him. His voice. His voice was like-” 

”Y’know, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else,” James says nonchalantly, but with a small grin.

”That’s-” Sirius, although unimpressed, can't help but let out a laugh, ”that’s quite funny, but no. Either way, there's nothing to 'get over'. He's just a man doing his job. I’m serious.” 

”I know,” James says, not even trying to hide his smirk.

Sirius feels like his brain is about to explode. He's already starting to stand up to leave before James reaches over the bar and grabs him by the arm. 

”No, okay, I’m sorry. I’ll stop with the jokes,” he says, looking up at him with pleading eyes, ”I want to hear more about this man.”

”Well…” Sirius mutters as he sits back down, ”I don’t have anything else to tell you, honestly,” he admits. In reality, he could be more specific about the event, but he wants to keep some of the specifics to himself.

”How did he react?” James asks, ”to you being gay, I mean,” he adds.

Sirius feels the gears in his head start to turn. Maybe he could indulge his best friend just a bit more.

”He was… weirdly okay about it. For a priest, I mean,” he says, ”I pretty much asked him if I should stop and he said no. Isn’t that kind of… unprofessional, almost? I mean, for someone who works in a church.”

”Not every christian is conservative, Sirius,” James comments, ”we’re in a progressive era.”

”Since when…” Sirius sighs, looking down at his half-empty G&T.

Sirius had grown up in a Christian home. Throughout his entire childhood he had been attending church every Sunday and was forced to read the bible and learn each prayer by heart. His mother was especially strict about it all, making sure that both her sons respected the word of God as the hightest law.

When Sirius had come out as gay at 15, or rather when his parents found out, he was immediately secluded from the family and exiled from their home. James’ parents, being the kind souls they were, took him in for a few years before he moved out into his own apartment at 18 with the help of the money he inherited from his uncle, Alphard, who was also one of the only people in the family who saw him as worthy of a better life than what his parents had given him.

James’ mouth forms a thin line. He knew the look in Sirius’ eyes a bit too well by now.

”Look. If you don’t want to think about anyone else, let yourself think about him,” he says.

Sirius finally lifts his gaze to him curiously.

”What do you mean?” he asks.

”Go see him again,” James clarifies.

Sirius decides to entertain the idea in his head for a bit. It wasn’t a bad idea, not at all, but he’d need a plan.

Luckily, one had already been offered to him by none other than the priest himself.

”I mean… he did tell me to come by next week…” Sirius says with a shy smile.

”What?!” James asks, although it sounds more like a screech and makes several patrons turn to them in their seats. Sirius looks around, his face going a bit red. His friend, however, shows no signs of shame.

”He… he almost said it like it was a challenge. That’s what it felt like, at least,” Sirius explains further.

”He’s challenging you to go speak to him again? Sirius. Darling,” James brings a hand up on the bar to hold Sirius’, his tone sounding jokingly disappointed.

”He said I had to have an actual confession, though,” Sirius sighs as he swats James’ hand away, ”what does that even mean?”

”I think you and I both know what that means,” James says, smirking already, ”and I think that blond guy who’s been eyeing you all night knows too…” he adds, nodding his head towards the other end of the bar.

Sirius looks behind him and is met with a wave from a tall, blond man. He waves back, offering a smile which is then kindly returned along with a wink.

”Shit,” Sirius sighs as the man stands up and starts walking towards them. ”You’re a bad influence,” he says, gritting his teeth, but also starting to stand up.

”Go get ’em, tiger,” James says, clapping his hands together quietly while beaming at Sirius.

”Please never say that again,” Sirius sighs, rolling his eyes and grabbing his coat before turning to follow the man out of the bar.

Chapter Text

It had been a week since Sirius’ confession, his meeting with James and the night he’d spent with the man from the bar. Though the memory of the evening they shared was still fresh in his brain, the priest’s voice still echoed as well.

It truly was unlike anything he had heard before. It was deep, but not enough to be intimidating. It was soft, but in a smooth way, like honey. Gentle, careful, almost like he was holding himself back. Extremely fitting for someone that spoke to large groups of people for a living. He couldn’t seem to let it go no matter how hard he tried.

Good thing he wouldn’t have to try anymore.

As Sirius neared the booth, this time easily remembering which part of the chruch it was in, he slowed to a stop. He felt a bit of hesitance again. As he digged the soles of his shoes on the marble flooring, he tried to calm his nerves by reminding himself that the man had personally asked him to come back. The playful tone in which the priest had challenged Sirius brought a pleasant heat to his face.

It’d be okay. He’d be okay.

Sirius walked to the booth in long, slow strides, trying not to make too much noise. He let his hand fall on the handle, feeling the engraving, studying it with his fingertips for a moment before finally opening the door and sitting down in the small wooden stall. He took a deep breath and wiped his hands on his jeans before speaking up.

”Forgive me, father, for I have sinned-”

”It’s you.”

Sirius could barely finish his sentence before a voice, the voice, spoke up. He inhaled sharply, almost gasping, as the familiar tone settled in his ears. ”It’s me.”, he answered.

”I was starting to think you wouldn’t come.” The voice said, letting out a barely audible huff of laughter. Sirius couldn’t help but feel… honored. The man had been waiting for him to come. He also felt a bit guilty, seeing as he had been hesitating on even leaving his apartment at all that day. But he was a man of his word.

”Well, here I am.” Sirius answered, smiling to himself. The booth fell to a comfortable silence, almost like the two men were simply enjoying eachothers presence for a short while.

”Well, let’s not keep you from admitting your sins.” The priest spoke up. ”Go on.”

Sirius took a breath, and the smile on his face almost turned into a smirk. This was what the man’s challenge was all about.

’Not a real confession last time?’ He thought to himself. ’Lets see what you make of this one…’

”Well, I went to a bar last weekend, got a few drinks in me and… slept with a stranger.” He admitted, crossing his arms. ”He was okay, I guess. Not necessarily a gentleman but good enough for me.” He continued, starting to feel a bit more comfortable about his confession ”His dick was an okay size too, if that matters. Not nearly the biggest I’ve handled, but size rarely means anything anyway. We went for a few rounds, he fell asleep, and I left.”

The booth fell to silence once more. Sirius was smiling to himself, feeling almost smug. He was sure, with the amount of detail he had gone to, that the confession was bound to be ’good enough’. The feeling lingered for a bit, but was soon crushed when the priest spoke up:

”That’s… less interesting than I was expecting.”

All traces of cockiness immediately left Sirius’ body, and his face dropped.

”What?” He answered through gritted teeth. ”It was a good confession! I did something wrong, so I-”

”Why do you feel like what you did was wrong?” The priest questioned, cutting him off.

”Are you fucking kidding me?” Sirius scoffed, almost laughing in disbelief.

”Language, please.” The priest said, letting out a small, breathy laugh as well.

”Right, sorry. I’m just… ” Sirius sloutched forward, holding his face in his hands for a bit and letting out a sigh. ”Aren’t you supposed to tell me that what I did was wrong? Why aren’t you judging me?” he asked.

”I have nothing to judge you for.” The priest started. ”What you did could only be wrong if it went against your own morals, if you yourself felt shame about it. If I recall correctly, you have no shame in loving men. Am I correct?”

”Yes…” Sirius answered.

”Then, frankly, I don’t see what the problem is.” The man said. Sirius felt dumbfounded.

”I went against the word of God?” He said, almost as a suggestion.

”You mean the Bible?” The priest asked.

”Yes, whatever. Same thing.”

”No, it isn’t.”

Sirius raised his head from his hands. ”Sorry?”

”The Bible isn’t the word of God.” The priest said. ”It is only written from the perspective of those who served Him. It’s not like He wrote it Himself.”

Sirius thought about the man’s words. He was right, in a way. ”But then… what does someone have to believe in to be a christian, if not the Bible?” He asked.

”God.” The man answered, short and simple. Sirius swallowed, thinking it over. There was so much meaning in that one, small word.

”Do you… do you not believe in the Bible, father?” He asked, carefully  

”I do, in some ways.” The priest replied. ”I believe God created the universe, but not in six days specifically. I believe that Jesus lived and taught people, but not that he walked on water…”

Sirius listened intently, taking in the information. He was surprised, that much was evident, but he was starting to understand what the man on the other side of the wall was talking about.

”…and most of all.” The priest continued, ”I believe that God created all of us in the way we are, because He thought we were good that way. I believe He is forgiving, and kind, and loyal…”

”…and I believe in His love. I believe in love in all its forms.”

More silence. Sirius could only sit quietly as he took in the information that the man had bestowed upon him. He took another deep breath before speaking, under his breath:

”I’ve never really thought of it that way.”

The man hummed, a short ’mm’ before responding; ”I’m glad I could give you something to think about.” he said. ”I’ll look forward to hearing your thoughts next week.”

’Next week?’

”Next week?” Sirius questioned.

”Only if you want to, of course.” The man said. ”I’ll… be here. Waiting. Like I did today.” he continued. If Sirius had allowed himself to think about it more, he’d have thought the man sounded almost… shy.

”Waiting…” Sirius echoed silently, bringing his thumb up to his mouth, biting down on the nail.

Then he heard the door open on the other side, just as it had last time. ”I’ll be waiting.” The man said, his voice now closer, as if he were standing directly outside Sirius’ door.

”See you, then.” Was all Sirius could muster up saying before the familiar sound of footsteps started again.

”Farewell.” The priest said, walking away from him for the second time.

Chapter Text

Sirius had barely left his apartment in six days.

He had only gone out to the grocery store once, and had left one other time when James had called him for help with unloading some boxes at the bar. Other than that, he had only stayed home in the company of his cat, Crookshanks. The cat, although an amazing friend, wasn’t much entertainment for long for the man, and he found himself longing for human interaction.

A specific human, really.

On the following Friday, Sirius finally decided to get his act together and go to the church again. The priest was slowly becoming less of a stranger to him, but there was still so much more to be discovered. Sirius wanted to find out exactly who was behind that voice on the other side of the booth, and he wouldn’t be able to do it from the comfort of his home.

—

Sirius arrived at the church near the evening. There were seemingly less people there, seeing as the final communion of the day must have had already ended. Sirius paid the lingering people no mind as he made his now familiar way to the confessional booth.

He opened the door of the booth, sitting down with a sort of newfound confidence blooming in his chest. He took a breath and decided to just rip the band-aid off with a simple;

”Hi.”

He heard a bit of shifting on the other side of the booth, like someone was trying to sit up straight after slouching against the wall. Sirius listened intently for a bit, almost holding his ear against the wall.

”Oh. Hey, you.” the familiar voice finally answered, sounding strangely tired. Sirius’ brow raised on its own.

”Hi…” he said again. The man on the other side coughed, and to Sirius’ surprise, let out a deep sigh. Sirius found it slightly amusing, and felt the urge to ask if the priest had had a rough day, but he couldn’t finish the thought before a voice spoke before him.

”Go ahead.” The priest ordered. Sirius sat up straight, a bit confused at first.

Oh, right, he was at a confession. The realization continued on further as he registered that he hadn’t really thought this through. Since they had last seen (or heard) eachother he had only been staying home, watching TV with a cat in his lap. He let out a small, embarrassed laugh.

”I don’t really have anything to confess.” He said quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

”Why are you here, then?” the priest asked.   

Ouch?

”I just… wanted to talk.” Sirius admitted, now realizing how stupid he must’ve sounded. He wanted to add ’to you’ to the end of the sentence, but knew that it’d maybe be too forward.

Thankfully, the priest didn’t judge him this time, either.

”We can talk, but… this is hardly the place for casual conversation.” The priest laughed.

”I guess you’re right.” Sirius replied somewhat sheepishly. He was almost ready to get up and leave with an apology, but he couldn’t even move before the man spoke up again.

”Would you… like to talk somewhere else?” The priest asked. Sirius’ face must’ve lit up at the question, because he found himself replying ”yes” maybe a bit too eagerly.

More shuffling was heard on the other side of the booth, before he heard the door open. The sound of the priest’s footsteps outside his side finally drove him to get up and exit as well.

Once Sirius stepped out of the booth, he was finally met with the sight of the priest, and by God…

The man was beautiful.

Soft, light brown curls fell over hazel eyes. A few light scars made contrast with olive skin on his face. The figure was slim but tall, taller than Sirius, and accentuated with broad shoulders. The man looked back at him, a small smile curving over pinkish lips, and a tired gaze running along his face. He, too, was taking something in.

The staring contest was, however, interrupted as the priest held a hand over his mouth, seemingly stifling a yawn. Sirius’ eyes narrowed a bit, and he looked between the man and the booth they had just stepped out of.

”Were you just… sleeping in there?” Sirius asked, pointing behind the man at the booth. The priest closed his eyes, clearly embarrassed.

”Please don’t tell anyone.” He pled with a small smile, to which Sirius mimicked sealing his lips, locking them on the side and throwing away the key.

—

”I never caught your name.” The priest spoke up as the two made their way down the corridors of the church. Sirius had no clue where they were going, but he truested that the other knew a good spot.

”It’s Sirius.” he answered.

”Sirius.” The man echoed. ”Sirius…” he said again, almost like he was trying to taste the name on his tongue. Sirius’ face was hot and red as he nodded.

”I’m Remus.” the priest spoke up. Sirius smiled at that.

”Remus? Like Remus and Romulus?” he asked.

”Like Remus and Romulus, yes.” Remus confirmed with a laugh. ”My mother was a bit of a history buff.”

”I see…” Sirius fought back the urge to say he thought the name is beautiful. ”It’s a nice name.” He ended up saying, to which Remus responded with a warm smile.

The two men reached a door at the end of the hallway, and Remus had to pull out a set of keys from the pocket of his cassock to open the door.

”Sorry for the mess.” the taller man said as he pushed the door open. ”Feel free to look around, though.”

Sirius nodded as he stepped in to what was seemingly Remus’ office. A desk, chairs on both sides, a bookshelf, what looked like a closet and a small armchair furnished the room, all in colors that fit together rather nicely.

While Remus went to clear away papers at the desk, Sirius busied himself by looking through a selection of framed pictures on the wall, all depicting different animals.

”Did you take these?” He asked. Remus let out a small ’hm?’ before looking up and realizing what Sirius had referred to.

”I did.” he answered with a smile. ”they’re quite old now, though.”

”They’re beautiful.” Sirius said quietly, returning the smile and stepping away from the pictures, but not without giving them one final look.

As Sirius sat down opposite from Remus, he couldn’t help but feel as if he was back in school, in a meeting with a teacher after doing something he wasn’t supposed to.

”So…” he started, a bit awkwardly, slowly rubbing his palms against the fabric of his jeans.

”So.” Remus responded with a smile. How could a smile look so right?

”How long have you been a priest for?” Sirius asked, looking away for a bit to avoid thinking anything more of a simple facial expression.

”Coming up on five years now.” Remus replied.

”Five years?” Sirius echoes. ”How old are you?”

”27.” The priest answered.

”I’m 25.” Sirius added.

”Oh. Not too far off, then.” Remus smiled. ”When’s your birthday?”

”November 3rd. How about yours?”

”March 10th.”

”Not too long ago, then!” Sirius smiled. ”Happy belated.”

”Oh, thank you.” Remus said through a humble laugh.

The two men smiled through comfortable silence before Sirius decided to keep the flow of the conversation going.

”Did you always want to become a priest?” he asked. The question made Remus visibly think for a bit, and the man leaned his elbows against the desk.

”I suppose this was sort of always the idea. It was the back of my head since I was young, and that.” Remus answered. ”It was either this or a teacher.”

”What would you have taught as a teacher?” Sirius asked. He could definitely imagine Remus as a teacher.

”History, maybe. Like I said, my mother always liked it.” Remus answered.

”Mmh.” Sirius hummed. He got caught up on how Remus talked about his mother. ’Was’, ’liked’. He decided not to mention it, though.

”What about you?” Remus asked him. ”What do you do?”

”I’m… in between things.” Sirius answered, an embarrassed blush creeping up on his face. He knew that his answer was basically another way of saying he was unemployed. ”I help out at my friend’s workplace, though. He owns a bar.” he added.

”Oh? Interesting.” Remus nodded along. He didn’t seem judgemental, but not necessarily interested either.

”It’s a bit embarrassing…” Sirius laughed under his breath.

”Owning a bar?” Remus raised an eyebrow.

”Not having a job.” Sirius corrected.

”No, no.” Remus shook his head. ”Not at all.”

Another spot of silence fell over the two, this time making the atmosphere a bit more tense. Remus took in a breath before speaking again, this time opening with a question.

”Can I ask you something, Sirius?”

”Sure, yeah. Go ahead.” Sirius replied, curious as to what direction their conversation would go in.

”Do you believe in God?”

Shite. Should’ve seen that coming.

Sirius’ face heated up even more. It was an awkward thing to admit, since the person sitting in front of him was probably the most religious person he had ever met.

”Oh, well… no, not anymore, to be honest.” he answered, deciding to stay truthful.

”I figured.” Remus answered, nodding with a small smile, more understanding than pleased.

”Sorry if that’s… upsetting to hear.” Sirius said, almost sighing.

”No, of course not.” Remus shook his head, straightening up in his chair. ”Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. I’m only curious as to why you decided to come to a chruch… come to me with your problems.” He explained further.

Sirius realized that Remus didn’t care about his religious beliefs, but rather just why he wanted to speak with a priest.

”Well… I don’t know. I just sort of figured.” he said awkwardly, not really being able to put together a proper answer. He didn’t really know either.

”Figured?” Remus repeated curiously.

”I don’t know. Maybe it was a subconscious thing. I didn’t want to admit these things to anyone else… except maybe my friends.” Sirius clarified.

”I see.” Remus smiled. Still not judging, and still open to everything the other was telling him.

”And… even though I don’t believe in God, I’ve still always found a weird… comfort in churches.” Sirius continued.

”Do you go often, then?” Remus asked. ”I haven’t seen you around here, at least.”

”Oh, no. I…” Sirius was about to admit that he hadn’t gone to a church in a decade, but something held him back, so he opted to replying with; ”I hadn’t gone in a bit before I came here.”

”I see.” Remus said again, still keeping a smile on his face. ”Well, either way, I’m glad you did.”

The words made Sirius think for a bit. Remus must’ve been glad he had come to a church. Glad he was finally starting to ’feel the grace of his lord and savior’.

Sirius let out a small scoff, looking up into the priest’s eyes. ”I don’t think coming here is going to make me start believing, father.”

”I know.” Remus replied with a small smile. ”That’s not why I’m glad, either.”

Chapter Text

After their short but riveting conversation, Remus had seen Sirius out of the church and welcomed him to come by whenever he’d like. Sirius couldn’t help but smile to himself as he made his way home.

Monday came along as another day helping out at James’ bar. Luckily for Sirius, whom had barely slept the night before, the activity was more procrastination and banter than it was physical labour.

”Tell me everything” James had opened with, after setting down a fourth cardboard box filled with a wide assortment of liquor.

”I don’t.. know much yet.” Sirius answered sheepishly. ”We only really introduced eachother. I didn’t even know his name before that.”

”So, what is his name?” James asked, leaning his elbows against the bar, his mouth forming a sly smile.

”Remus.” Sirius replied, his lips curling up aswell.

”Remus?” James echoed. ”That’s not something you hear every day. But, then again, neither is Sirius.” He shrugged. Sirius rolled his eyes.

”What kind of music does he like?” The brown haired male questioned further.

”I dunno.” Sirius answered. He really was curious about the answer, though. Music was a big thing for Sirius, and he wanted to know if he and Remus shared the same interests.

”Seems like a rock kind of guy. I doubt listening to all those hymns plays out outside of work.” James thought out loud. ” Maybe Weezer?”

”Weezer is far from being a rock band.” Sirius scoffed.

”They are a rock band. What else would they be?” James asked, raising a hand to his chest, mock-offended.

”I don’t know!” Sirius laughed. ”Some kinda-”

”Sirius.”

The man was cut off by a voice coming from behind them. As they turned around, they saw none other than Sirius’ younger brother, Regulus, standing at the door.

”God, you move like a ghost. Did you hear him come in?” James asked.

”Hi, Reg.” Sirius said, ignoring James.

”Hey.” Regulus responded, shaking his wet umbrella, sending specks of water across the floor. James didn’t seem too pleased.

”You haven’t been answering your phone.” The young man continued.

”Have you been calling me?” Sirius asked, a bit surprised, already starting to take his phone from the pocket of his jeans.

”No. Mum has.” Regulus clarified.

”Right.” Sirius’ mouth formed a thin line as he put his phone back. He should’ve guessed. ”She sent you as a sort of messenger owl, then?”

”Something like that…” Regulus muttered, looking around at the bar. Sirius wasn’t sure if Regulus had ever visited the bar before, but it wasn’t a complete impossibility.

”You shouldn’t ignore her calls like that.” Regulus continued, crossing his arms over his chest.

”I’m not ignoring her…” Sirius started, defending himself. ”I have her blocked.” He clarified, adding a sweet, sarcastic smile.

”Of course you do.” Regulus said, and Sirius could tell the younger was fighting back the urge to roll his eyes.

”I totally get it, mate.” James chimed in from behind the bar, but went back to work after both of the brothers gave him a look that was basically the equvalent for saying ’ stay out of this.’

”She wants to talk to you about-” Regulus started again, but was quickly cut off.

”Look, Reg.” Sirius said, running a hand through his hair. ”I appreciate you coming all this way, but I genuinely would rather piss glass than talk to our mother right now.”

”Sirius…” Regulus frowned.

”I’m sorry.” Sirius said, slightly frowning too. ”Let her know I’ll call her once I feel like it.”

”Alright.” Regulus nodded. He gave James a quick look, then turned around to walk out the door.

”…You could call me sometimes, y’know.” Sirius said, making the younger man stop with his hand already on the handle.

”A phone works two ways, Sirius.” Regulus answered, then pulled the door open, stepping back out into the rain.

Chapter Text

Sirius woke up to the sound of something breaking.

He jolted up in bed, eyes wide as he looked out into the hallway through the open door of his bedroom. Did someone break in? No, it couldn’t be, he lived on the third floor. Did someone climb the fire escape, then?

He took in a deep, shaky breath as he wrapped a blanket around himself and stepped out of the bed, very quietly planting his feet against the persian rug on his bedroom floor.

”Fuck,” he whispered to himself, barely audible. ”Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck…” he kept muttering as he tip-toed into the hallway, looking every which direction to make sure he was alone.

Finally, he made his way to the end of the hallway, where he could still hear faint rustling in the kitchen. He braced himself both mentally and physically, wrapping the blanket under his arms in case physical combat was needed, then peered into the kitchen.

Where he found his cat, Crookshanks, on the floor next to a broken coffee mug.

”Oh, thank God.” he sighed, leaning into the doorframe as he sank down to the floor, holding a hand over his racing heart. Usually he’d find the cat’s antics annoying and burdenous, but in reality he was grateful that it had only been Crookshanks making the noise, not an intruder.

As he sat on the floor, eyes closed while he tried to regulate his breathing, he realized what he had said out loud.

Thank… God?

-

Sirius entered the church at the end of a communion. He hadn’t been to one in a decade, but the smell of the red wine and thin wheat wafers was enough to send him right down memory lane.

He entered the church hall, which was still bustling with people, and stood at the door, leaning against the frame as he watched people linger in the pews with their families and friends. Other people were making their way out, some of them shooting odd looks and even glaring at Sirius.

Turns out that a leather jacket and combat boots aren’t necessarily appropriate church attire.

Seeing as the dark clothing made Sirius stand out in the crowd of white button-ups and pastel dresses, he noticed exactly when Remus, who was standing at the altar talking to who seemed to be another staff member (could he call priests staff members?), took a glance his way.

Remus looked to him, and Sirius swore he could see Remus go quiet, his mouth hanging open for a solid five seconds, before he excused himself and started walking towards the other end of the room.

”Hello, you.” Remus said as he finally reached Sirius, holding his hands behind his back. Very priestly of him, Sirius thought.

”Hi.” Sirius replied, feeling rather shy suddenly. He hadn’t mentally prepared himself for a conversation, like he had usually done when he came to Remus. Talking face to face casually was certainly different than through the wall in the confessional booth.

”You’re the last person I was expecting to see today,” Remus said, ”I almost tripped up on my words when I noticed you.”

”I wasn’t… trying to be noticed.” Sirius said, half-lying. Sure, he wanted Remus to notice him, but he didn’t want to be a disturbance to his work. At least he was pretty sure that chatting to members of the church counted as working for Remus.

”You sure?” Remus asked, gesturing to Sirius’ dark attire. Sirius placed a hand over his chest, mock-offended.

”You expect me to own church clothes?” He responded wittily, feeling the fabric of his shirt.

”Touché.” Remus shrugged, still smiling. Sirius smiled too. Another short moment of comfortable silence settled between the two. Sirius liked those moments. They never felt awkward, and they gave him a chance to look at Remus and pay complete attention to his features. He was now even discovering more scars trailing down along the man’s neck.

”I gotta get back to my office.” Remus said, slowly pulling Sirius out of his trance. ”I’ll walk you out?” He suggested.

”Sure.” Sirius nodded, focusing his gaze on Remus’ eyes. He was slightly dissapointed that their conversation had to be cut short, but he just let out a quiet sigh before the two of them walked off into the hallway.

The pair walked in silence, occasionally exchanging small glances, until the sound of high heels on the stone flooring could be heard behind them, causing both men to turn around.

”Remus! Just who I needed.”

A woman with hair so red it could be mistaken for actual flames made her way to them, and Remus smiled as she came to stand beside him.

”Sirius, this is Lily. Lily, this is Sirius.” Remus introduced the two.

”Hi. Nice to meet you.” The woman, Lily, said whilst holding out a hand for Sirius to take.

”Pleasure’s all mine.” Sirius smiled, taking Lily’s hand in a gentle grip and giving it a small shake.

”Lily here is our choir director.” Remus said. ”Voice like an angel, this one, really.” He said, to which Lily waved a hand in an ’oh, you’ kind of manner.

”That’s actually what I needed to talk to you about, Remus.” Lily said, clasping her hands together. ”You play guitar, right?” She asked, causing Remus to clear his throat while looking a bit dumbfounded.

”I… played bass in elementary school.” The man corrected. Lily responded with a frown.

”Oh, right. How’d I get that mixed up….” She sighed, letting her hands drop back down to her sides. Sirius raised a brow at the evident stress the woman was going through.

”Why do you need a guitarist?” He chimed in.

”The choir is holding a small performance on Saturday, and we need a band.” Lily explained, gnawing at her thumbnail now. ”We already have a drummer and a pianist… but we’re lacking a guitarist.” She added, looking down at her shoes.

”I play guitar.” Sirius said.

Lily and Remus’ heads suddenly turned back to Sirius with a simultanious ”you do?”

”Yes, and I’d love to help out.” Sirius smiled. ”Only if you’ll have me, of course. ”

”Are you serious?” Lily asked.

”Didn’t Remus just tell you that?” Sirius joked, earning a smile from the both of them, though he could’ve sworn Remus slightly rolled his eyes.

”No, but really. Would you be able to help me out?” Lily asked.

”Of course! I’ve got nothing going on this weekend. I’d love to help.” Sirius confirmed with a sweet smile.

”Oh, you’re a lifesaver!” Lily beamed. ”Thank you so much, Sirius.” She sighed, taking out her phone.

”It’s no problem.” Sirius said with a small grin. He looked to Remus, who was still standing there, watching the exchange with a smile on his face.

”Give me your number. I’ll text you more details.” Lily said, holding her phone out for Sirius. Sirius took the phone, typed in his number, and saved it in Lily’s contacts.

”Thank you, again.” Lily said once again before turning on her heel to walk off to the direction she had originally came from.

Sirius and Remus stood there, watching the red curls dissapear behind the corner.

”I didn’t know you play guitar.” Remus said, breaking the silence.

”I didn’t know you played bass.” Sirius said, looking back to Remus, the smile still plastered on his face.

”Seems like there’s a lot of things we don’t know about eachother.” Remus said, taking a step towards the front doors again.

I’d like to find out, Sirius thought, but stayed quiet as he continued to walk beside the taller man.