Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was dark when I finally made my way home, after another unsuccessful visit with my therapist to diagnose me with GID, the bitch refused again, and I would probably have to change therapists. She always has a condescending smirk on her face when refusing me and she acts like I don’t notice. Because of that I wasn’t feeling the best and wasn’t watching where I was going, my head ducked down. As I passed in front of a convenience store I accidentally bumped into someone and when I blinked, I was in another world entirely. As my eyes adjusted to the sudden light I stared at the medieval architecture and the people who were obviously not human. The only thing I could think to scream out was, “Fuck!” “Yes!”

The second voice came from beside me, standing there was a young man in a tracksuit with black hair. As my eyes appraised him I noticed him staring at me and a blush quickly formed on my face. I was not used to dealing with people and being openly gawked at was extremely uncomfortable. We both just kind of sat there, stalk still for a second, before understanding we were in a similar situation.

“My name is Natsuki Suabaru.” He introduces.

“Erik, this…can’t be real, right?” I try to confirm that I’m just crazy but I can see a weird light in this kid's eyes.

“It has to be! Look at this architecture and those demi-humans!” He points out.

“Ughhhhh, whyyyy.” I groan.

“Don’t you usually want to be in another world, what’s with this reaction?” He asks.

“It’s not that, in another world, we can’t use cell phones. What if they don’t have toilets or other amenities, I’m a modern person.” I whine.

“Ah, true, but this place might have magic!” He tries to cheer me up.

“Whatever, it's not like we know how to use it and we can’t just ask someone, I don’t know about you but if we weren’t in the same situation I wouldn’t be talking to anyone right now,” I admit. The kid seems to flinch at that, his eyes going downcast for a moment before flicking that up.

“Well, we’re stuck here for now, so we might as well explore for a bit.” He recommends. I hesitantly take him up on the offer, I have nothing better to do and no idea how to get back so it’s not like I have anywhere else to go. It appears we’re in some sort of market as people are shopping at different stalls when we walk by. Subaru stops next to a stand selling something like apples, I glance at the writing to confirm and realize that I can’t read it much to my dismay.

“Hey, are you two going to buy something?” The man running the stand asks gruffly. I freeze in place at the question but Subaru asks the man what he’s selling. The man says the apple-like things are called appas and Subaru offers the man some money but he refuses having never seen it before.

“So you guys are brok then? Get out of here you’re ruining my business!” The man yells. I hurriedly grab Subaru's hand and we run out of the market and into an alleyway.

“That was scary,” I comment after catching my breath.

“You tell me, I thought he was going to kill us.” Subaru jokes. I will say that the strangeness of our situation still hasn’t quite hit me over the head yet, here I am in an alley in another world talking with a man who I’ve known for five minutes. And yet…I don’t quite hate this, I haven’t been social for a long time and it’s nice to be in the same situation as someone for once.

“Ah, but this kind of sucks, I thought when I was summoned to another world there was supposed to be some kind of beauty summoning us, or we’d get some sort of special power.” Subaru groans.

“I guess, that’s how it is in anime and stuff, but I guess real life isn’t that nice.” I reflect.

“Maybe the person who summoned us just hasn’t shown up yet,” Subaru says hopefully.

“Keep trying buddy, I’m sure if you wish harder she’ll appear in this alley in a second,” I say sarcastically. That’s when I hear the sound of footsteps at the entrance to the alley, I turn my head in surprise while thinking there is no way a pretty lady actually showed up only to see three men who look like they want to rob us.

“Give us your shit and you won’t get hurt.” The lanky one in the middle threatens. Correction, they are robbing us. I hurriedly empty my pockets of my phone and wallet and whatever junk is in there and stand to the side. Subaru is looking at me like I just killed his dog, I just glare back at him trying to convey with my eyes that getting into a fight with robbers in another world where magic could exist is probably not the best idea but clearly it doesn’t get across. The robbers are not impressed with Subaru refusing to cooperate and grab onto his shirt, actually lifting him to his tiptoes. I don’t know if I should step in now or wait, if I’m lucky he’ll see sense and drop his shit. Before I have to make a decision though, a girl suddenly runs into the alley.

“Hey! Could you maybe help us?” I call out, trying to get her attention. She stops in place and eyes the situation.

“Um, sorry but I’m busy. Live strong!” She shouts before leaping up the fucking wall and jumping onto a rooftop.

“What the hell?” I stare after her in shock. And then realize that Subaru is still about to get his ass beat. The idiot then proceeds to punch the biggest guy in the face and kick the little one in the head. I noticed a strange pain in my hand but before I could focus on it Subaru rushes at the lanky guy who pulled out a pair of knives. Subaru quickly bows down to apologize but gets kicked in the head, he goes tumbling backward and I flinch after getting a sudden headache. The other three guys get up and start beating Subaru up before I can do anything, I would’ve rushed in to help him if not for the fact that sudden lumps of pain appeared throughout my body and I sunk to the floor in pain. I pull up my shirt to glance at my stomach which is already getting a nasty purple bruise. Like…holy shit am I dying, where the fuck did this come from? While I’m freaking out the bruises that are multiplying over my body, I fail to notice an extra person in the alley until she calls out.

“That’s enough!”

I’m not attracted to girls, but even I can see that this girl is a beauty, with long silver hair, bright purple eyes, and a complimentary white and purple dress, she looks like something out of a fairy tale. Her words caused the men to stop beating up Subaru, and the pain that I was experiencing stopped multiplying, which is something to think about later.

“What the fuck do you want?” The lanky man asks.

“Look, if you just give back what you stole I’ll leave you alone, it’s kind of important to me.” The girl states.

“We didn’t steal anything from you. So you’re not here to rescue the kid?” He asks.

“No, we don’t have any connection.” She replies.

“Well if you want whoever stole your shit she went that way.” The three men point in the direction the girl from earlier went.

“Oh, thank you!” She says, running past me and the three men and poor Subaru who is still on the ground. Is she actually just going to leave us? No way, that’s two people in one day.

“Hmm, although I thank you for your help, I can’t exactly overlook what’s going on here.” She suddenly turns at the top of the stairs and blasts icicles at the three men, making them back off of Subaru and directly knocking out the third one.

“You bitch! Who cares if you have magic, it’s still two against one.” The lanky one shouts. He’s pulling out his knives again while the big one squares up. The girl just has a slightly cocky smirk on her face as she wordlessly holds out her hand for a weird floating cat thing to appear.

“A spirit!?” The lanky one exclaims.

“Correct, I’m a spirit user, so it would be wise if you back off now as I’m in a bit of a hurry.” She states.

“Ugh, I’ll fuck you up next time I see you, I swear!” The lanky man says. It honestly sounds like a schoolyard taunt akin to telling on a teacher.

“If you ever do that I will haunt you for the rest of your days making sure you never get a wink of sleep and you'll always be waiting for the day I decide to end your life.” The spirit threatens. The two men grab their fallen companion and run away.

“Thanks miss, you saved me.” Subaru changes his position from lying on the ground to sitting up. He shoots me a glare, probably for not helping, and I pull up my shirt to reveal the bruises littering my stomach. He glances at them and then straight up ignores me, oh I am going to make this brat regret ignoring me to look at a pretty woman. Which is what he is doing, he’s staring at the girl who saved him with an odd look in his eyes. I can’t tell if he fell in love or he’s appraising her, either way, I’m now in pain and thoroughly pissed off.

“Do either of you happen to know who stole my insignia?” The girl asks.

“No, but they were right about a girl running off. It might’ve been her. You should hurry; she was pretty fast,” Subaru informs the girl. He starts trying to stand up, and I feel a wave of pain run through my skull. Suddenly, my vision goes black and I start to pass out. Through my hazy vision, I can spot Subaru also falling and can see the cat spirit and the girl getting into an argument about helping us. I really didn’t expect my day to go like this when I woke up in the morning.

I don’t know how long it’s been but when I wake up I’m lying on the cold hard ground and hurriedly sit up so as not to fuck up my back. The sight that greets me is…interesting for sure. The cat spirit is now giant and Subaru’s head is lying in its soft lap, the girl is standing to the side and watching the scene with a small smile on her face. I watch as Subaru opens his eyes and seems to register that he is lying on something. The facial expression turn is interesting as at first, he seems to like it, then he seems to realize something, and then his expression turns to horror as he turns his head to find the cat spirit staring at him. I burst out laughing at his horrified reaction and watched as he backed up to the alley wall next to me.

“What the hell!” He exclaims.

“You don’t need to be so surprised, we thought it would be a comfortable experience for you.” The cat spirit whines, though there's a hint of a laugh in the back of its throat.

“Hey, why didn’t I get the same treatment, I’m the kind of person that actually appreciates a nice place to sleep,” I grumble, pointing at myself.

“Hm, sorry but no deal, your gate is a bit unique, and if I touch you all my mana will be sapped away.” The cat spirit apologizes. I have no idea what a gate is but it meant that I had to wake up on the cold hard ground and for that I absolutely despise it.

“Thanks for taking care of us, even though you were in a rush.” Subaru quickly thanks the girl and the cat spirit after an awkward pause in conversation. I nod my head in agreement to show I’m thankful.

“It’s fine, I tried healing your wounds but yours wouldn’t heal quite right so they may still be a bit sore.” The girl says, pointing to me. I lift my shirt again to find the ugly purple bruises gone but a quick poke reveals that it is indeed still sore and I inhale a short breath from the pain.

“Don’t go poking it! I just said it’ll still hurt.” She says indignantly, her face scrunched up in an angry expression more reminiscent of a cute hamster.

“Well, it seems like we owe you a big favor for helping us, you’re looking for an insignia right? We can help you look for it.” Subaru suddenly offered his help, while I would normally disagree with helping random strangers she did help us so I kept my mouth shut.

“Eh! No, you don’t have to help me, you gave me some info on the insignia so we’re even.” The girl tries to deny our help.

“It’s fine, we weren’t doing anything and I’d rather spend my time helping you than wandering around who knows where with this idiot,” I say jerking my thumb to Subaru.

“Oi!” He calls out, but the girl starts laughing and Subaru clams up, his face going red with embarrassment.

“Ok, fine, you guys can help me.” She agrees, “But if you slow me down too much I’ll ditch you.” She adds. The cat spirit then shrinks itself and flies up to rest on the girl’s shoulder.

“Okay, I’m going to attempt to ask the lesser spirits and see if they can tell us where the girl went.” The girl explains. I don’t really have any idea what’s going on but Subaru seems pumped so I just watch. The girl closes her eyes and puts her hands out, concentrating really hard, but nothing happens.

“Huh? Why aren’t they…?” She trails off.

“Did you forget what I told you earlier, about that guy, you can’t summon any lesser spirits with him around.” The cat spirit tells the girl, pointing at me again. I feel a bit embarrassed suddenly but I have no idea what they’re talking about.

“Should we introduce ourselves, I mean, if we’re going to be looking for this thing together.” Subaru pipes up, changing the topic again.

“Sure, I’m Puck.” The cat spirit says.

“My name is Natsuki Subaru.” Subaru introduces.

“Erik.” Is all I say. We then stare at the girl for her name.

“U-um, my name is…Satella.” She reveals. Her expression when giving her name was weird, and Puck's reaction to it is also strange, my guess is it’s a fake name, it seems she still doesn’t trust us all that much. With introductions out of the way, we start off our journey to find the lost insignia, but after a few hours, we get absolutely nowhere in our search.

“This city is fucking huge, we’re never going to find it here,” I complain. I then watch as my compatriots go and approach a lost girl to help her find her parents. I don’t think these people have their priorities straight whatsoever but if I complain I’m sure I’d look like the asshole. They bring the girl back over to me after consoling her and stopping the crying, it’s kind of insane that she warmed up to Subaru so fast.

“Seems like you have a special talent, you’re making me jealous, kids despise me.” I joke, but my words are soon proven true when I bend down to say hello to the little girl and she buries herself into Subaru’s leg.

“Uhm, I’m sure your talents will be realized elsewhere.” Subaru comforts. It feels a bit patronizing but he sounds genuine, doesn’t stop the sarcastic response that easily fits itself on my lips.

“I just hope it isn’t something as useless as attracting little girls.” It’s worth it to see Satella laugh and Subaru’s face turn red again.

We start looking around for the little girl’s parent once Satells stops laughing. While walking I ask her some questions.

“What’s this place called?”

“This is the capital city of Lugunica,” Satella answers.

“Mhm,” I mumble, processing the information. I try to keep the name in mind so I don’t forget it.

“You two are strange, you have weird clothes, you don’t the city name, and there’s other strange stuff.” She gets quite close to the mark, coming to another world with no information has its set of problems.

“We’re from far away.” Is the only answer I give, I’m afraid if I make a story I’ll poke too many holes in it. Before she can answer the little girl breaks away and runs toward a woman shouting, “Mommy!”

“It seems like we found her.” Subaru smiles fondly at the woman and the little girl who wave at them before taking off.

“What do we do now?” Satella asks. I shoot her a look, she’s the one looking for her insignia, shouldn’t she know what to do? We take a short break on a bench at a bridge. My feet are screaming at me from walking around all day.

“Why the hell do my feet hurt so much? I’ve walked for way longer before and been fine.” Subaru whines beside me. I glance down at my feet in confusion but decide to put that train of thought away for the time being.

“Sooooo…what do we do now?” I throw out.

“We haven’t found the girl who stole your insignia, maybe we’re looking in the wrong place.” Subaru offers.

“Or maybe, we’re asking the wrong people,” I add on.

“Is there a slum around here?” Subaru turns to Satella, matching my flow.

“Yes, are you suggesting we go there?” She questions.

“Uh huh, she probably wants to sell the insignia for money if it’s fancy,” I confirm.

“And people from the slums often know more about the gritty details of being a criminal,” Subaru adds.

“Right, then let’s go.” Satella stands up, a fire in her eyes. I dread more walking but the sooner I get this over with the sooner I can sit down again, so I follow her down the road. While we walk we start talking again.

“So, is your silver hair and purple eyes natural? Because if they aren’t whoever did the dye job is seriously talented.” It’s just small talk, and some nice compliments to get the conversation started. The problem with having high emotional intuition but shit social skills is that when I notice how uncomfortable she is with the question I don’t have any easy back out.

“My hair is natural…I’m a half-elf.” She replies, acting like it explains everything in the world.

“I see…I was wondering why you were so cute, elves are always beautiful and you’re no exception.” I never thought I’d be grateful for some frankly awful flirting but I shoot Subaru the biggest look of appreciation for the quick save. Only to notice that he’s not even paying attention to me and is instead staring at Satella.

“If you keep showing heart eyes like that I’m going to punch you in the face.” I threaten him.

“Wait, but…I said I’m a half-elf.” Satella stops in place.

“I mean, I’m sure that means something but I don’t see the problem,” I tell her. Her expression changed rapidly for a moment before she smiled and grabbed onto our hands, dragging us while running toward the slums.

“You guys are weird, but don’t seem like bad people.” She chuckles. I’m just trying to keep up with the running, I haven’t exercised in a while and I clearly need to. With that final sprint, we make it to the slums as the sun is setting. The houses are all worn down and the streets are almost empty. I frown upon seeing the state of the place, seeing the difference between the city and the slums is like night and day, it’s depressing. We walk around for a bit until we find someone and ask him about the girl, he isn’t willing to talk at first, but Satella shows a bit of money and his tight lips easily loosen.

“The girl's name is Felt, if she got something she should be at the loot house that old man Rom runs.” The man points out the way and we thank him.

“My time is up.” Puck suddenly floats out from Satella’s shoulder.

“Huh?” Subaru questions.

“It takes mana to have a physical form, I can usually last from 9 to 5,” Puck explains.

“We can handle it from here, go to sleep, Puck.” Satella urges.

“Okay, I’ll act on my contract so if you need me summon me from your Od.” Puck says something pretty much incomprehensible before disappearing. I turn to Subaru but he’s as confused as I am. With Puck gone, we start moving toward the loot house. It’s dark out when we finally make it to the loot house.

“It took forever but we’re finally here.” I sigh with exhaustion.

“You guys did end up slowing me down haha.” Satella chuckles.

“Eh? Why didn’t you kick us out then?” Subaru asks.

“Because I was having too much fun, your interactions were interesting.” She admits.

“I don’t think we’re that interesting, we only met a few hours ago after all,” I tell her.

“Really? But you seem like such great friends.” She says. I don’t know where she got this feeling from, I level a stare at Subaru.

“I don’t know, this guy is kind of a sarcastic asshole, I doubt we’d be friends in any other circumstances,” Subaru replies.

“Like I’d want to be friends with someone who only knows how to calm down little girls.” I tease.

“Is that your only joke, you can do better than that.” He bites back. I just stick my tongue out at him as Satells chuckles.

“I guess we should go in then…this place is kind of creepy at night though.” Subaru is referring to the loot house. We picked up a lantern once it started getting dark, but it didn’t provide much light.

“I’ll head in then.” Satella gets ready to burst through the door but Subaru stops her.

“Wait, let Erik and I go first, we should make sure there’s no danger.” Subaru offers. The whole chivalry act is charming but he just offered us up as human meat shields. I open my mouth to argue but he suddenly glares at me hard enough to make me shut my mouth. Geez, this guy's eyes are kind of scary now that I look at them. Satella agrees and backs up, Subaru hesitantly opens the door and I follow him inside. He swings the lantern around and it reveals the different items around the house from armor to weapons and weird vases, the place is stuffed with anything that seems valuable.

“Weird, why’s nobody in here, people can just steal all this shit,” I comment. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t slightly scared, a creepy abandoned loot house in the middle of the slums is not somewhere I’d willingly walk into but here I am.

“Who knows, maybe they’re sleeping in the-” Subaru suddenly cuts off what he’s saying and swings the lantern down, to reveal a dead body. The body's throat is sliced all the way through and is leaning against the counter. The blood pools on the floor, flowing to Subaru’s shoes, still sticky from how recent it was. I would’ve thrown up at the sight if it wasn’t for the voice that entered my ears.

“It seems you found that, I guess I have no choice.” It says. I don’t know what made me dodge like that, instinct probably, but I moved out of the way only to watch Subaru get blasted across the room and the lantern falling from his hands. I try to go after him, but I feel a sudden pain in my stomach and fall to my knees. I feel around with my hand and it comes back sticky with blood. I don’t know what this situation is, all I can feel is pain in my stomach as my mouth churns up blood and I spit it onto the floor. The door opens and I can hear Satella come in to search for us. I then hear the sound of someone collapsing, but I can barely focus over the rushing of blood in my ears as my vision gets blurry.

What. Why. I don’t understand. My thoughts rush past one after the other, but the most common one is-It’s not fair. Am I dying? I never even lived my life, I only just turned eighteen, this isn’t fair. The last thing I see before closing my eyes is Subaru reaching out for Satella in the moonlight, and then nothing. Or it should’ve been nothing, but when I open them again, I’m standing in front of the appa stand with a slightly unfocused Subaru beside me. Was that all just a dream?

Chapter Text

I didn’t think too hard about being sent to another world, my parents weren’t abusive or anything, but they were rarely home. Their jobs made them travel a lot and when I came out to them they just traveled more often. I wasn’t able to form much of a relationship because of that. I had no friends after people at school found out, I tried my best to stay but the stares became too much. Nobody ever said anything, my friends were supportive, but I couldn’t take it so I left and slowly distanced myself. I did my work at home and graduated, I even signed up for university thinking that if I just put myself out there, I could do better. And then I got rejected again and again, I told myself it was proof I wasn’t ever going to be anything so I stayed at home and lived off my parent's money while trying to get a diagnosis out of therapist after therapist. And then I got sent to wherever here is, I’ll admit it did feel like a second chance, somewhere I could be true to myself, but staring at the appa merchant after what I’m sure was death, I didn’t know what to think. And so I didn’t, I turned off my brain, I just stood there as Subaru once again told the appa merchant that we were broke. I keep my brain off as Subaru drags me to the middle of the street when he stops and grabs me by the shoulders.

“Oi! Snap out of it!” He shouts, suddenly smacking my head. That smack just kind of reboots my brain, and of course, the first thing I can think to say is.

“Knock it off!”

“You were totally spacing out, also, don’t you remember it being nighttime?” Subaru points out. With my brain working again, it forces me to think about what just happened, or what I think just happened.

“Did we…do you think we…di-” I cut Subaru off before he can finish his sentence.

“I don’t want to think about that right now there’s nothing on my stomach, we’re fine.” I shut down whatever Subaru is thinking before I can think of it myself.

“Uhm, right, so we should probably head to the loot house then, and see if everything is okay there,” Subaru says. I nod my head in gracious agreement, doing something should keep my mind off the logical conclusion. Subaru takes off and I follow behind him at a slower pace, we cut through streets and through the alley where we first met the three robbers. Lo and behold, here they are again.

“Give us everything you have!” They threaten. I could obey them, but I wasn’t in the mood and I’m sure Subaru isn’t either. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as he pretends to put the bag he was carrying down, only to rush up on the lanky guy at the last minute and punch him square in the face. I take that as my cue and run up to the big guy, he punches out at me but his movement is slow and I easily dodge. The best way to defeat an opponent bigger than you is to offset their balance…I’m pretty sure. So I take a wild swing and kick at his leg that appears to have less weight on it compared to the other, the kick connects with his shin and he tumbles forward, losing his balance. As he falls to the floor I turn around and just before his face hits the ground I stomp my foot down, his face making a sickening CRUNCH. He just lays there, not moving, Subaru has already taken care of the other so I check to make sure this guy is breathing. Lucky enough for me he is, and the rush of taking down someone much larger than me almost makes me forget everything that happened before. The key word being almost.

“I can’t believe you took that guy down, have you ever fought before?” Subaru asks.

“No, it was kind of easy though?” My answer is more of a question than anything. I mean, I’m out of shape, but taking that guy down was kind of fun, maybe I should get into fights more often. No, scratch that thought I’d probably get killed…

“Let’s go, we’re wasting time.” I blurt out, taking the lead to exit the alley. Subaru hurriedly runs after me to catch up. We make it to the slums and easily find the loot house, which looks less scary in the day.

“S-should we knock?” Subaru asks me. I can see a cold sweat form on his face, his pupils are shaking and I can’t imagine I look much better.

“I guess,” I answer him, stepping up to the door. I knocked a few times but received no answer. Subaru then bangs on the door, asking if anyone's in there. The door suddenly swings open, making me step back in shock as an old man exits the loot house, blood staining his shirt, his throat slashed, and…and…and he’s fine. He’s a completely healthy and strong old man.

“Why are you two causing a fuss out here?! Don’t come busting down my door just cause you don’t know the password.” He grumbles. I catch Subaru’s surprised expression out of the corner of my eye. I assume it mirrors my own, seeing someone who should be dead, alive in front of my eyes. It makes the conclusion I’ve drawn about what happened all too real.

“Um, can we come in?” Subaru asks. The man steps back and appraises us for a second, before stepping out of the way and ushering us in. Subaru and I enter the loot house, again? For the first time? And take a seat at the bar counter.

“So what the hell do you two want? Banging on my door this early in the morning.” The man grumbles, taking a spot behind the bar counter.

“Uhm, it’s the afternoon, I’m pretty sure.” I unhelpfully point out.

“We’d like to ask some questions, first, have you seen a silver-haired girl?” Subaru shoots me a look out of the corner of his eye. I shrug my shoulders in response, I wasn’t really in the mood to have a polite conversation.

“Nope, haven’t seen anybody like that.” The old man answers.

“Okay, then how about an insignia?” Subaru questions.

“I don’t think I have anything like that.” The old man responds.

“So did we come all this way for nothing?” I mumble. I lay my head down on the counter and close my eyes, I wish I could just fall asleep like that so I wouldn’t have to talk or think anymore.

“It’s not for nothing, we got some information.” Subaru tries to cheer me up but when I open my eyes and turn my head I can tell just by looking at him he’s probably the same as me right now.

“Hold up you two, I have someone coming in later with some good loot, maybe it’s what you guys want.” The old man says.

“Huh? Couldn’t you have said that sooner!” I reprimand.

“Is the person making the delivery a girl named Felt?” Subaru asks.

“You two seem to be very different people, I don’t know how you became friends, but I’m surprised you know who’s making the delivery.” The old man expresses his surprise.

“I don’t think we’re that different,” I mutter. We’re both loners who apparently have no attachment to our old world, and I doubt either of us likes dealing with any of our problems until they blow up in our faces, it’s honestly kind of pathetic.

“Hmm, whatever you say.” The old man replies, having caught what I said. My ears turn red, the only noticeable blush on my otherwise cold face.

“Uhm, we can’t pay for the insignia though,” I say, trying to hide my embarrassment.

“Haha, that's where you’re wrong, we can trade for it!” Subaru exclaims. He actually looks a bit excited at the prospect and I can’t help but be infected by the positivity a bit, even if it’s mostly a mask. I watch with my head propped on my hand as Subaru puts his bag on the table and explains a bit about the snacks inside. I even muster a chuckle when the old man takes the only bag of chips he has and consumes it.

“Good, I can appraise these items when Felt gets here and I appraise the loot she got, wait outside until she gets here.” The old man tells us. Subaru and I leave the loot house and sit on the steps outside. Now that we’re just sitting here, waiting, with nothing to do, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to start the conversation or what we should talk about, but I don’t have to think about that for long as Subaru takes it upon himself to have the first word.

“That…what happened before, it wasn’t a dream, right?” He asks me. He has a serious expression on his face. He looks strong like he’s not panicking. But I can hear the pleading tone in his voice while asking the question, it’s like he’s begging for comfort or some sort of relief. It makes me think that our sanity depends on how I answer. Should I deny what’s obvious to save our minds or accept the truth and figure things out together? What’s the right decision to make, I wouldn’t have any idea, so I avoid it again.

“What’s your plan, you know, for trading the insignia?” I ask him. I see a subtle flinch, it seems he was expecting a different answer, but he grabs onto the change of topic like a lifeboat in a storm.

“People from this world probably haven’t seen the items from our world, something we have should be about the same worth as the insignia and then we can trade for it and bring it back to Satella.” He explains.

“Good plan, I’m sure we can get it back.” I pat his shoulder, it seems like such a small amount of what I could do to help him, but he leans into my touch anyway.

“What are you guys doing? Get out of my way.” Someone orders in a bratty tone. I look up to find the girl, Felt, standing in front of us. It’s sunset now, the red glow of the receding sun casts long shadows on the ground from the slum houses, giving the scene a cozy feel.

“Felt! We’ve been waiting for you!” Subaru quickly exclaims, hopping up and away from my hand. I slowly stand up beside him, keeping a wary eye on Felt.

“Eh! I’ve never met you two before, how the hell do you know me?” She puts her guard up almost immediately. Though her language is still a bit childish.

“We’re looking for a good trade and some people from the slums told us to look for you, for a price of course,” I add at the end.

“Urgh, those unloyal bastards, whatever, what I’m hearing is you guys are clients?” She questions.

“Yep, we want to make a trade for an insignia that you might have,” Subaru replies.

“Hmm, I may have it, or I may not, depending on what you’re offering.” She says. Her guard almost entirely drops and she walks past us and knocks on the door, reciting a password. The old man soon opens the door and we all head inside. Felt immediately rushes to the counter, sitting at the barstool, the old man pours some liquid into a cup for her and gives it to Felt. She downs it in one gulp before making a nasty expression.

“Oi! Old man Rom, did you water this down?” She asks.

“So what if I did.” The old man, Rom is his name I think I heard it earlier, responds.

“It’s nasty.” Felt teases.

“You don’t have to drink it all then.” He says levely.

“Krgh!” She grumbles, her face turning red.

“You guys sure are close.” Subaru remarks.

“This warm atmosphere is making me sick, take your lovely father-daughter relationship somewhere else, you are making those of us with absent parents want to hurl.” It’s meant to be a joke, but instead, everyone just stares at me with pity in their eyes. Maybe this is the wrong crowd for that kind of joke. I kind of want to curl up and die now, but I can’t so I just pull my shoulders inward and wait for conversation to resume.

“Hm, let’s get down to business,” Felt states. I have to hold in my need to finish the line, Mulan was one of my favorite films as a kid and I look back on that movie fondly, Li Shang really did make a man out of me. A small smile graces my face at that thought and I almost let out a small chuckle, but I manage to hold it in.

“Okay, just making sure but, you do have the insignia, right?” Subaru starts the discussion with a question.

“Mhm, took me a while to get it, it’s super fancy, even has a jewel in it.” Felt proudly shows off the insignia and hands it to Rom for appraisal.

“Good, then here’s what I have,” Subaru states, pulling out his cell phone.

“Eh?” I let out a surprised noise but he gave me a wink, telling me it was okay. I would never give up my cell phone for a negotiation like this, even if it doesn’t work I’m a sentimental person. I also value my life which is why I gave it to the robbers earlier who took off with it…wait. I hurriedly check my pockets and clasp my hand around the cold metal of my cell phone. I almost let out a small squeal of delight but I clamp it down and watch as Subaru explains the camera function of a cell phone. He takes a picture of everyone in the room, with flash on the madman. He shows us the pictures once he’s done, Felt and Rom look confused in theirs but I made a V with my fingers and have a small smile on my face. My curly black hair is just beneath my chin with a small part in the back tied up in a loose ponytail. I’m wearing a black and white striped long-sleeved shirt and some short black jean shorts.

“Why does his look so much better?” Felt grumbles.

“Because I’m handsome.” I tease.

“Yeah right, you look more cute than handsome.” I know it’s meant to be a childish tease, but I can’t help the small flinch that runs through my body. I’m used to comments like this at the store, I should just be happy I pass so well in this other world, but the anxiety that lies just below the surface of my mind struggles to come to the surface. I hurriedly bury it, ignoring any bad feelings that try to breach my defenses. I cling to the conversation that has moved on without me, Subaru explaining more about the cell phone.

“Interesting, is this one of those metias I’ve heard about?” Rom asks. Subaru and I are saved from answering a question we had no answer to by Felt asking a question.

“What’s a metia?”

“They’re devices for those whose gates aren’t open so that they can use magic,” Rom explains. The word gate appears again, seems like it has something to do with magic.

“What would the price be?” Felt questions.

“I’ve never seen a metia before, but it probably costs more than the insignia,” Rom says.

“Great, then I’ll just take it and be on my way.” Subaru smiles, grabbing the insignia.

“Uh-uh, I was asked to grab this by a client, they said I could get ten holy coins for it,” Felt explains.

“That metia is probably more than twenty holy coins,” Rom adds.

“We still have to wait for the client though they might be willing to pay more and I have to at least honor the deal,” Felt says.

“Right, where are we meeting this client?” I ask Felt.

“Right here, they should be here soon.” She says cheerfully. As soon as she finishes saying that someone knocks on the door. I can’t help but get a bad feeling like something doesn’t quite add up, Felt goes to open the door, telling Rom she never gave her client the password. Rom collects a giant bat from the wall, placing it below the counter just in case. The door swings open and in walks a woman with black hair, wearing slightly provocative and loose clothing and a cloak.

“Hmm? It seems there are a few more people here than I expected.” The woman remarks. Her voice is smooth and sultry, and her tone is very unserious like everything is a joke. I’m immediately unsettled by her, but I keep my mouth shut as she appraises us, her eyes lingering on Subaru and me. We make introductions and I find out the woman’s name is Elsa.

“These two have offered up something for the insignia as well, a bid will start between you two over the insignia,” Rom explains to her.

“Ah, I see.” She says. Felt sets up a table for all of us to sit at, Subaru and Felt sit on one side while I’m stuck next to the strange woman. Every one of my instincts is screaming at me to not be near her, but I can’t for the life of me figure out why. The bidding war starts with a bang, Subaru pulling out his cell phone and showing its use to Elsa. She follows up by pulling out twenty holy coins, explaining that her client gave her some more to sweeten the deal just in case.

“Hm? You’re working for someone else?” I pick at a certain piece of information.

“Yes, I hope that’s okay.” She says sweetly, a gentle smile on her face. That smile sends off warning bells in my mind and I quickly turn away, dropping the topic.

“Unfortunately for the miss over here, their item can be sold for more than twenty holy coins, he wins this bid.” Rom states.

“Yes!” Subaru shouts, quickly covering his mouth in embarrassment.

“Congratulations on winning the bid you two, but before I leave may I ask what you intend to do with the insignia?” The question seemed innocent enough. But it made me freeze in place, a twisted feeling settling in my gut.

“Wait-” I try to warn Subaru but it’s too late.

“We plan to return it to its owner.” He answers. The vibe in the room instantly changes, I stand up from where I’m sitting, backing away from the woman.

“Ah, I see, so you’re with them.” The smile on her face is the same, but the meaning behind it is much different. Felt pushes Subaru to the ground as Elsa aims for him with a knife. Rom grabs the club from under the bar and rushes the woman, he swings the club down but she easily dodges. He strikes at her again and again but she avoids and blocks every strike.

“This isn't good,” Subaru says.

“Hmph, it’ll be fine, old man Rom won’t lose,” Felt states confidently. But I can already tell that if we don’t do something, he won’t make it, she’s too strong for him. Despite knowing that fact, my feet won’t move, they stay rooted in place, refusing to do anything. Am I really that pathetic? Someone's life is in danger and I’m just standing here. Move for fucks sake! But my feet don’t move, and I watch in horror as Elsa slices Rom’s arm clean off. He stumbles in pain before rushing at her again, trying to take her out as he dies, but she stabs him in the throat with broken glass, slashing his throat, blood splatters over the floor, and a few stray droplets land on my face. That’s when my feet move, stumbling backward as I place a hand over my mouth in shock. This can’t be happening. It’s just like before.

“You bitch! How dare you hurt Rom!” Felt screams. She stands up and rushes at Elsa, she moves so fast I can’t even see her, until it’s too late, and the girl is split down the middle by Elsa. More blood splatters, this time covering me completely, I didn’t even know a human body could expel that much blood. My stomach churns at the sight and smell, but I force the feeling back down, it’s just Subaru and me now, facing off against a complete monster.

“I understand this boy not acting sooner, but you seem to have a sense for combat, why didn’t you do anything? Could it be you’re a coward?” I don’t know if the woman is joking when she stares at me, but I don’t know if I want to find out.

“Shut up! Don’t act all condescending when you’ve just killed someone!” Subaru shouts, getting to his feet.

“Hm? Even he’s acting sooner than you, I must say I’m disappointed that someone who recognized my nature from the start isn’t as interesting as I’d hoped.” She continues to berate me even a Subaru rushes in with a punch. She just takes him in with a disinterested expression before blocking the punch and returning one, right in his face. Subaru flies backward from the force of the punch and I suddenly feel a pain in my nose. Blood drips down my nose and I bring my hand up in surprise, it seems it’s broken. I can barely feel anything though, in fact, I feel like laughing. I’m not sure that’s the feeling you’re supposed to feel in this situation, but with two dead bodies on the floor and their killer in front of me, I just can’t bring myself to care about anything.

“Ah, I see, you’re in shock, maybe that’s the normal reaction in this situation but it’s truly a shame.” She sighs. Elsa then rushes at Subaru with her knife, prepared to end his life, but at the last second, he jumps backward and kicks her in the side.

“It seems I was a bit careless, but no matter.” Her eyes flit downward, toward his stomach. My eyes follow hers and I can see blood, so much blood, and his guts, they’re just hanging out. Seeing him wounded to such an extent brings me back to myself, such an unfortunate time as well, I can now feel the injury from my stomach. I glance down and see a wound matching Subaru’s and I collapse to the ground. Shit. Shit. Shit! It hurts. It hurts. It hurts! Why!

“Hm? I was saving you for last but it seems something interesting happened, well, I still have some time so let's test this.” Her voice floats through the pain and directly enters my brain. I can just see her standing over Subaru with the knife from where I’m lying on the floor.

“Dn’t” I slur, blood spilling out from my mouth. But it seems she didn’t listen to me as I soon feel a pain in my shoulder, and then my leg.

“How wonderful! Every injury I make to him transfers to you as well. But it seems you two can’t take much more, I guess I should end this.” She remarks. The next feeling of pain is from my eyes, it’s slow and gruesome, like someone dragging a knife slowly across them. I can’t help the scream of pain it wrenches from me.

“Haha, are you sad, does it hurt? Tell me, how does it feel knowing you’re going to die?” Her mocking words cut through any illusions I had about this world. Death. I was dying. I died before and I’m dying again. Death…is painful. It hurts. I don’t want to die. My thoughts repeat on a loop as I think back to what happened in the loot house before. Could I have changed the ending if I said something? Would everyone have lived to tell the tale if I talked with Subaru or let them know about my bad feelings about the woman? I’m scared. Why can’t I just die faster? It hurts so much. My last thoughts are spent in pain before the world blinks out of existence.

I open my eyes slowly, my thoughts sluggish. I can feel myself standing, as the world focuses in, I can see the appa merchant from before. The memories of death come back to me, and I bend over and hurl my guts out.

Chapter Text

The bile burns the back of my throat as I hunch over. I spill the contents of my stomach on the ground next to the appa merchant's stall. I am vaguely aware of Subaru passing out beside me and the appa merchant yelling something, but my mind can’t seem to focus right. The only thing I can think about is [Death]. The feeling of it was unlike anything I’ve ever known, it goes beyond pain, it’s something completely different.

I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this.

“Hey! Are you and your friend alright?”

I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this.

“Hey!” Suddenly, a hand is on my shoulder, wrenching me away from my thoughts.

“Don’t touch me!” I scream, backing away from whoever touched me.

“Sorry, but your friend here seems to have passed out. I don’t know what happened to you two but you guys are bad for business so I’m going to wake him up.” The appa merchant apologizes. I watch as he gently carries Subaru to a staircase beside his shop, he leaves to fetch something and I glance around the marketplace. A few people are looking over at the commotion but most people are minding their own business. But I can feel the stares, judgment, and questions. I look away and head over to the stairs next to Subaru, sitting beside him. The appa merchant returns and throws a bucket of water on Subaru, a few drops of water splash onto me but I couldn't care less. Subaru wakens with a dazed expression, the appa merchant offers us some apples and water, but it’s become too much, I have to get away from here, do anything. So I stand up and take off running, looking for anywhere to be alone. I scan the buildings and alleys and stalls as I pass them, settling my eyes on an empty plaza with a long staircase leading to the top. I run up the steps and to the top, I spot the railing, the only thing keeping people from falling to a grisly demise, and I rush toward it and-

“Erik!” I’m forced to stop as someone calls out my name behind me. I slowly turn around to spot Subaru standing there, slightly out of breath.

“What do you want.” My voice comes out hollow and raspy, my question sounding meaner than intended.

“That…what are you doing?” He asks me.

“What does it look like I’m doing? I can’t…I can’t do this. Maybe…maybe if I end it myself, I won’t be able to come back at all.” I can’t help the tears that are shed from my eyes at this moment.

“That doesn’t make any sense though! And…and…if you do end up leaving, then I’ll be alone.” I can hear his fear at the end. I want to say or do something to comfort him, I don’t understand how he can take it this well, but I can’t do it anymore. Even thinking is draining, I have to steer my thoughts away from [Death] at every possible moment.

“I’m sorry.” I choke out, backing up and stepping onto the railing.

“I just…can’t do this.” I sob, falling backward.

“NO!” I can hear the scream as I fall, it’s the longest fall of my life, I can see the buildings soar past as I get closer and closer to the ground. I glance up to see Subaru’s outstretched arm, and then I can feel my head caving in as I hit the ground.

…

…

………

My eyes blink open again, I’m standing in front of the appa merchant again, with a fresh feeling of death on my mind. Why? Why were we given a power like this? Isn’t it just…too cruel? Before I can do anything I feel a rough hand grab my arm and feel myself being led away from the appa merchant. I’m taken to an alley and the hands force me to sit down, it’s only then that I glance up and stare into Subaru’s eyes.

“You…please don’t do that again.” He begs, sinking to his knees.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t, I don’t.” I can barely get any words out of my mouth, my thoughts are incoherent and my tongue feels twisted and heavy.

“We can get through this together, okay?” He says suddenly, wiping his eyes and standing up again, placing his hands on my shoulders he stares into my eyes again. What I see there is confidence, it’s a complete and utter lie, it’s a false confidence. A show put on for me, to make me feel better. I’m so fucking pathetic, aren’t I? I don’t know how old this kid is and he’s putting on a brave face to make me feel better after I just killed myself in front of him. If that’s the case, then I have to suck it up and pretend I’m alright, that maybe I can do this, that maybe we can get through this together. And to do that, we need a distraction.

“That girl, from before, let’s save her,” I tell him.

“Huh? You mean Satella?” He asks me.

“Yeah, you want to save her, right? That’s why we went back to the loot house.” I explain.

“Mhm, I don’t want her to die, she’s way too nice and she’s our savior.” He answers, I can see his expression get lighter, a smile even gracing his face as his mind turns to plans or something else.

“Right, then let’s go over everything we know, first and foremost, her name isn’t Satella,” I tell him.

“What?” He exclaims in shock. He takes his hands away from my shoulders and sits next to me, processing the information.

“I think she used a fake name because she didn’t trust us, rightfully so, we’re pretty strange people.” Her reaction when telling us her name was all it took for me to think it was weird. People who use their real names don’t think about it for a moment. She also seemed somewhat cold when telling us the name, different from her past actions. All this evidence may be circumstantial and I could be wrong but it’s better to be wrong than make a stupid mistake.

“That makes sense, it hurts my heart just a bit though.” Subaru whines.

“The second thing, I believe we’re sharing both pain and injuries.” He goes quiet at that, I assume he’s come to the same conclusion.

“So what should we do? To save her.” He asks me after a minute.

“I have no fucking clue, I’ll be honest I’m not too smart, I was going to leave the planning up to you,” I tell him honestly. I’m able to notice things, but I’ve never been the most logical thinker, if something is wrong I usually keep quiet for fear of backlash.

“Hmm, alright, if we run into those three idiots again, maybe we can try calling for help? When I was running after you before I noticed some people wearing the same outfit standing around, they could be some sort of police force.”

“Good, then we won’t have to fight and get exhausted or get more injuries, let me take care of calling for help.” Guards typically respond to calls for help from girls more, I’ve done a lot of voice training but I can still use my more feminine voice, it sucks but I’d rather call for help than die again.

“Okay, we should look for Felt first, maybe she can give us the insignia and we won’t even need to go to the loot house.” He explains the next part of his plan.

“Right, but if it fails?” I ask him.

“Then we go to the loot house and do the same thing if Elsa shows up again before we can get the insignia…if we work together maybe we can take her down, or run,” Subaru responds.

“Seems like that’s the best we can get.” I sigh.

“Cheer up! It’ll work, it has to.” I can hear the desperation in his voice. Making plans like this has kept my mind off of…everything…but I know I’ll have to face it sooner or later. Whatever, let’s just hope this plan works and figure it out later, after all, if we do manage to get through this it’s not likely we’ll die again. Right?

Chapter Text

We started to head toward the alley again at a light jog because despite our stamina not being the worst, we were both shut-ins, and running around for too long probably wasn’t the greatest idea. While heading to the alley I decided to ask stupid questions because I was not great at starting conversations and I wanted to talk, to keep my mind off…stuff.

“Soooo, why are we going back to the alley where we know we’re going to get robbed?” I question aloud. Subaru shoots me a pointed look, a mix of annoyance and a knowing glint in his eyes, making me think he knows what I’m doing and appreciates it.

“Because it’s the fastest way to get to the slums and the only way we know how to get there.” He answers easily. I’ve noticed this over the few hours we’ve spent together, but Subaru is smart. He may not be able to read people that well but he is smart as hell and is the main reason we have a good plan. My thoughts are interrupted when we finally turn the corner into the damned alleyway again. We only walk a few steps before the trio is before us again.

“Drop everything or we’ll kill you!” They taunt.

“Yeah, we really don’t have time for this so…here goes nothing…ahem.” I lightly clear my throat, before yelling at the top of my lungs, “Somebody help! We’re being robbed!” My voice is high-pitched and feminine, it makes my skin crawl and I want to curl up in bed and binge-eat while watching TV, but that’s not an option anymore so instead I bear with it. I turn to check the trio's reaction and they’re visibly freaking out, they’re sweating and glancing at each other, feet poised to run away.

“Woah, that was pretty convincing! Have you been practicing or something?” Subaru asks me.

“Ahem, shouldn’t we be more worried about if our help will actually arrive?” I hurriedly change the topic. With my reminder he glances around, nobody has arrived yet and the trio has calmed down to an extent.

“Hah, you trying to scare us, well it didn’t work.” The big one states.

“It kind of scared me.” The smallest one betrays the tough act.

“Shut up, you two. Nobody is coming. Let’s just rob them, " The lanky one in the middle berates. They stride toward us, a menacing look on their faces.

“Uhmmm, any chance you could fight them off again?” Subaru slowly backs up.

“No idea, kind of don’t want to try and get stabbed,” I reply, also taking a step back.

“That’s enough, I think it would be for the best if you back off.” A voice cuts in behind us. The voice is clear and rings throughout the alley, with a sense of power and presence to it. I turn around and find someone standing there, my eyes start at their feet, slowly going up his body. He’s wearing a white uniform, has a sword at his side, clear blue eyes, and bright red hair. As I take the man in my face turns red almost immediately as his eyes flit to me when I was obviously checking him out. I want to bury my face in my hands but there are more important things at stake so I simply cough and turn back around to face the robbers.

“W-what are you doing here!? Master Swordsman Reinhard!?” The lanky robber exclaims in shock. It seems like they know his name, though I don’t see why they couldn’t just say it, instead of tacking on the Master Swordsmen part, it sounds way too formal. My thoughts continue to fire away at a rapid pace, most of them being caused by the redhead, Reinhard, walking up next to Subaru and me. As I kind of stare at him, I realize he’s talking and I’ve missed like half of a conversation he was having with the robbers. But it turns out okay in the end because the robbers back off and leave.

“And don’t come back again or…or I’ll fuck your mother!” I shout after them. Yeaaaah…not one of my best insults considering I was a million percent gay and that I just said that in front of a very handsome red-head, which, red-heads, totally my type. I catch Subaru staring at me with an expression that reads, “What the fuck are you saying!?” and kind of shrug my shoulders at him. Yeesh, I need to get my shit together, which I promptly do by shutting the fuck up and letting Subaru handle everything. I can see the slight teasing glare on his face as I stand silently beside him as he thanks Reinhard.

“You don’t need to be so formal, I always help someone in need,” Reinhard assures.

“Well, thanks anyway, nobody else was coming and I thought we were gonna die.” Subaru chuckles. I unconsciously flinch and Subaru awkwardly trails off. I can see a look of confusion on Reinhard’s face for a split second before he switches back to a smile, too fast, too practiced.

“You two were right to call for the guards against people like that, it would’ve been dangerous to fight them.” He comforts.

“Oh, are you a guard?” Subaru recovers quickly.

“Haha, I’m off-duty today, but yes, I am a guard of sorts.” He answers easily.

“Right, and they called you, Master Swordsman, what’s the story behind that?” Subaru asks. I see Reinhard’s expression darken for a moment before he replies.

“I have a bit of a special family, sometimes I feel like the expectations are crushing me.” He seems a bit remorseful, but his smile never drops. It’s only one sentence yet it makes me even more curious about the man in front of us. My instincts are telling me he’s strong, someone I shouldn’t mess with, but he’s a nice person if only a bit mysterious.

“What are your names? You two don’t seem to be from around here, if you need anything I’d be glad to help.” Reinhard’s smile turns back to happiness and sunshine like the somber one from before was just a mistake.

“I’m Natsuki Subaru and this is Erik, and…anything you could help us with, maybe you could come to the loot hou-no I shouldn’t trouble you with that.” Subaru seems to be about to ask him for help, but he cuts off his words instead. I had also thought about asking him for help, my instinct said he was strong, but it felt the same for Elsa, what if he wasn’t that strong and we led someone to their death? I don’t know how I would feel, probably not good though. I still remember watching Rom and Felt die, how I just stood there helplessly and watched. That’s not happening this time, this time, we’ll save them.

“Hmmm, but if you see a girl with silver hair could you tell her not to come to the loot house? Say that someone else will find what she’s looking for and bring it to her” Subaru tells Reinhard.

“Sure, I’ll make sure to pass it on if I see her,” Reinhard responds.

“Thanks! We’ll pay you back sometime!” Subaru says cheerfully, grabbing me by the arm and dragging me out of the alley. I turn my head back before leaving to find Reinhard staring at us, I wave my hand at him and he waves back and damn I’m blushing all over again.

“What the hell was…all of that!? Subaru asks, gesturing to my entire body. We’re almost at the slums, the sun is steadily getting lower and lower on the horizon, the light turning from bright to dim.

“Nothing.” I snip, turning away so he doesn’t notice my red ears.

“Uh, that was not nothing, you didn’t say a word to Reinhard.” He shoots back.

“And what does it matter?” I question him.

“Sigh… never mind.” He huffs, giving up. When we reach the slums we find someone to ask and he shows us the way to Felt’s house. We jog off, hoping to catch her before she heads to the loot house. I’m staring at the ground following just behind Subaru when he bumps into someone. I glance up as he apologizes and I freeze.

“Hrkk!” A stangled gasp rips its way out of my throat as I stare at Elsa. That damned smile is still on her face as she looks at Subaru. I can see him pause in front of me, being face-to-face with her makes me feel sick, I don’t know if he’s doing much better.

“Hmm? You two don’t need to be so scared, I wouldn’t do anything to you.” She chirps.

“S-scared, what makes you think that?” Subaru answers, trying to act tough.

“Haha, I can smell it on you, the scent of fear.” Her tongue peeks out behind her lips and a chill runs up my body.

“Ah, don’t worry, though I am a bit curious it’s not in my best interest to start anything right now, I hope we meet again.” She passes us by, a little hop to her step. We just watch her go, her footsteps fading. No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! I can’t do this. How…how can she just walk around like that? Doesn’t she feel guilty? She must be an experienced killer and yet…she had no remorse. Instead, she taunts and smiles and LAUGHS! I sink to the floor, my breathing starting to come out in short bursts, I can feel myself not getting enough oxygen but I can’t focus on it for long before I’m reminded of the pain…the horrible pain she caused. The shock of dying and watching others die.

“Hey…hey! Snap out of it! Oh, shit, what do I do?!” I can vaguely hear Subari freaking out next to me. But it’s far away like I’m hearing it through a door or something.

“Hik! Hik! Hik!” I can hear my desperate inhales, as my body tries to get more oxygen, but my mind just isn’t there. I’m somewhere else entirely, I can barely feel my body and everything feels distant. My thoughts are slowing down, running through my head like a thick syrup, too slow to form anything coherent.

“Uhm! Hey! Please snap out of it!” The shouting is quieter now, I feel like I’m floating…up up and away. Then I feel a warmth, connected to my hand, keeping me in place. It brings my thoughts down, my consciousness back to reality, and then I feel and think everything. And fuck it does not feel good. I remember what my therapist said about panic attacks and grip Subaru’s hand, which is holding onto mine, like a lifeline. I feel the warmth and softness of it and the comfort of how it’s holding onto me. I feel the ground beneath me and glance around at the slums, the dirty and beat-down houses. I count how many holes I see in the roof of this one house until my breathing is steady again.

“W-what just happened?” Subaru asks me, concern tainting the edges of his voice.

“I-I just had a panic attack, it’s fine I’m used to it,” I tell him. I gather my shaking limbs and steady myself on the house before standing up, letting go of Subaru’s hand in the process.

“That’s not something anyone should be used to,” Subaru says quietly.

“It’s fine, I’ll be fine, let’s just go find Felt and figure shit out, okay?” My question is more pleading than it should be. I don’t want to talk about the panic attack and I don’t want to talk about Elsa. I just want to sleep, but to do that I need to help this girl, or else I will have a guilty conscience for the rest of my life.

“Okay.” He answers softly, turning around to head to Felt’s house. I breathe a small sigh of relief and prepare to follow him, but he stops and suddenly grabs onto my hand, walking forward again. It’s not much, just a handhold, but it brings a small smile to my face amid this fucked up day.

Chapter Text

Hand in hand, we continue our way to Felt’s house, it’s a little embarrassing to hold Subaru’s hand, but it’s comfortable and warm. It’s still sunset by the time we reach her house, though, I wouldn’t call it that. It’s more like a den, a worn-down shed with a couch in it, not a place for someone to be living in.

“You think this is it?” Subaru asks.

“Probably, I don’t see anything else around that could be it,” I reply, glancing around. There aren’t any other houses nearby, or even anything remotely livable.

“I mean, it’s just…” Subaru trails off, gesturing around wildly with his hands.

“It sucks is what it is, people shouldn’t have to live like this.” I frown, walking up to the shack and peeking inside.

“And what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” A voice questions behind us. I jump back guiltily, turning to meet the eyes of Felt, standing there with her arms crossed.

“If you don’t tell me what you were doing in about three seconds, I’ll chop your head off.” She threatens, pulling out a knife.

“Woah, woah, you’ve got the wrong idea!” Subaru panics. The idiot didn’t do anything to clarify the situation though.

“We were looking for you, we have something to trade.” I cut in, Felt is looking particularly murderous and I can tell she was about to launch herself at Subaru with the knife.

“Hmph, why didn’t you just say so?” She shoots a glare at Subaru before sheathing her knife. I can see Subaru let out a sigh of relief at my side.

“We want to trade for the insignia you have, preferably right here and now,” I tell Felt.

“Hmm, I don’t mind, but I have another client, so you better be willing to pay more than them.” She demands.

“Don’t worry, what we have is worth more than twenty holy coins,” Subaru states proudly, with a smirk.

“Huh? You serious?” She questions, shocked.

“Yeah, it’s a metia, everyone wants one.” I grab the phone out of Subaru’s pocket and take a picture of her, she leans over my shoulder to take a look.

“It can freeze a moment in time, what do you think?” Subaru asks her. Felt puts a hand to her chin, thinking. I can see a trace of doubt in her expression, it seems we won’t be that lucky.

“I don’t think you’re lying, but I can’t be sure it’s worth more than twenty holy coins, there’s a loot house at the edge of the slums, follow me and have the old man living there appraise it,” Felt says. A slight wince runs through me, I can see Subaru’s expression twist for a split second. I really didn’t want to go back there, but it doesn’t look like we have a choice.

“Right, let’s hurry up then,” Subaru replies, running off ahead.

“H-hey! Slow down!” Felt calls after him, running off. You’ve got to be kidding me, they just fucking left me here. I now have to run to catch up with both of them, sweating and puffing by the time I reach them.

“Jeez, you look like you haven’t had a day of exercise in years.” Felt chuckles, her hands leisurely resting on her head. Subaru is lightly panting but seems otherwise alright compared to my dying gasps.

“S-shut the fuck up, I just didn’t have time.” I glare at them.

“Okay, okay, someone is temperamental,” Felt smirks.

“Mhm, he must’ve woken up on the wrong side of the bed.” Subaru teases. That’s when the straw snaps and I tackle the bastard to the ground, lightly messing up his hair.

“There ya go, behead.” I laugh, getting off of him.

“Agh, what was that for? Felt was doing the same thing.” He pouts.

“Yeah, but we’re supposed to be friends or some shit,” I grumble, then turn to find Subaru staring at me with a big grin on his face.

“Crap, did I say that out loud?” I question, before getting enveloped in a big hug.

“You said we were friends!” He shouts excitedly.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t get your panties in a twist.” I smile, patting his head.

“You guys are lucky to have such a close bond.” Felt grins wistfully.

“Would you believe me if I said we only met today?” Subaru asks, separating from me so we can continue walking.

“No way.” Felt denies. Subaru and I burst out laughing, surprising Felt.

“What’s so funny?” She questions.

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” I tell her, collecting myself. It is kind of weird to think that I did basically just meet Subaru today. I feel like I’ve been with him for a few months, I guess that’s what life and death experiences do to you.

“Soooo…you don’t have anyone like that, someone you have a close bond with?” Subaru suddenly asks Felt.

“Me? No way, I’m not like the others out here, I’m not going to give up, I’ll make it out of here and live my dream.” Felt scowls, glancing at the people moving about the slums.

“You sure there isn’t anybody you want to share that dream with?” I ask her.

“Hmm, maybe there is one.” She smiles softly. Subaru and I share a look, it’s obvious she’s thinking of Rom.

“I’m sure you guys will make it,” Subaru smirks, patting Felt on the head. She complains about it but I see the small smirk and the blush on her face.

“Ahem, another one? Seriously?” I til my head at Subaru.

“Eh!? It’s not my fault I treat kids with respect.” He complains.

“Maybe so, don’t go getting too many attached to you, you might get some unsavory nicknames.” I chuckle. Felt looks between us, trying to figure out what’s going on. The last few minutes of the walk are spent in silence as we get closer to the loot house. I feel a little tense walking up to the place of my death two times before, but I have a mission, so there’s no use hesitating. Felt says the passcode and we walk in, sitting at the counter in front of Rom…again. We introduce ourselves again and I let Subaru take care of the explanations and negotiations, I keep my eyes and senses out for Elsa, just in case.

“Hmm, I’d say it’s worth at least twenty holy coins.” I catch Rom telling Subaru.

“Great! Then we’re done here and I’ll just take the insignia and go.” Subaru responds with a false cheerfulness. He’s being a bit obvious in his rush to leave, but I don’t blame him, being in here makes my skin crawl.

“Hold on, why are you in such a hurry, I mean, what do you even want this insignia for?” Felt asks him.

“U-uhm, does it matter?” Subaru stumbles over his words, and I wince.

“Well, this insignia is pretty important, I’m sure it could sell for more than a metia.” Felt smirks, I can see Subaru start to sweat. He’s about to open his mouth and say something stupid I’m sure, so I quickly cut in.

“That ploy won’t work on me, twenty holy coins is a lot, if you think someone can pay more be my guest, but don’t forget we’re buying from you, I think we deserve a bit of privacy surrounding our purchase.” I shut them down.

“Tsk, I didn’t think you’d be so good at negotiations.” Felt scowls.

“He has us fair and square.” Rom shakes his head, a light smile on his face.

“What?” Subaru asks, confused.

“She was using some common negotiation tactics to try and get us to give her more money, if she pretends the item is worth a lot more than it is, especially at the last moment, it might have someone panic and bring out whatever backup money they brought,” I explain.

“You saying you have backup money?” She questions.

“What’s it to you, we’ve already agreed on a successful trade.” The scowl on her face deepens at my words, but Rom just bursts out laughing.

“W-well what about our client? What if they pay more?” Felt asks Rom.

“Probably not, people usually don’t bring backup money more than the original offer, and the client offered ten holy coins, even if they brought that exact amount it wouldn’t compare to the metia,” Rom tells her.

“Fine,” Felt grumbles, grabbing out the insignia. Right before she hands it to us, there’s a knock at the door, and my heart jumps to my chest. I whip my head around, but I don’t feel the twisting in my gut I usually feel around Elsa. Subaru looks like he’s about to freak out, though, so I grab his shoulder, giving it a hard pat.

“Ah, that might be the client,” Felt says, jumping up and rushing over to the door. I’m filled with a sick apprehension as she swings it open, I could be wrong, it could be Elsa coming to kill us again. But I remember her telling me to trust my gut, I wasn’t going to make a mistake that could cost us our lives again, so I stood there with my hand on Subaru’s shoulder as the door swung open and…the person that entered our vision is the silver-haired girl we’re trying to help.

“Huh?” Subaru and I both exclaim.

“Hmph, I finally found you, now would you please give me that insignia back? It’s really important to me and I won’t ask nicely again.” She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes and I feel a chill run down my spine.

“No way, I’m not giving it back! I need the money.” Felt replies defiantly, backing up and bringing out her knife.

“Hm? Fine, prepare yourself.” The silver-haired girl summons a few icicles into the air. Yikes…this is not a fight I want to be caught in the middle of.

“Ahem, if you guys are gonna do that, I’m just going to leave,” I say politely, trying to head for the door.

“Stop!” Three different voices shout. I turn to the one I’m most annoyed by and shoot him a glare.

“You’re buying my insignia, I need you to hang around to give me the money,” Felt says.

“You’re definitely working with the enemy, once I beat her I need to bring you in as well.” The silver-haired girl states.

“Right, and your excuse for me not being able to peacefully escape a fight?” I ask Subaru.

“U-uhm, I don’t know, right, let me start over. We were going to buy that insignia to give it back to her, the owner. So how about you hand it to me and I can give you the money, then everybody is happy.” Subaru says diplomatically, his hands in the air as a sign of peace.

“Huh? Why would you do that?” The silver-haired girl asks.

“More importantly, you were planning on returning it this whole time!?” Felt questions. I’m about to answer her when I get a sick feeling in my gut like someone put a stick down there and swished them around. I grab Subaru’s arm with a pale face, staring into his eyes.

“Puck! Shield her!” Subaru calls out. I watch as a blade swings down on the silver-haired girl, stopped only by an ice shield that suddenly appears. Elsa flips away from the girl, landing across the room.

“That was a close one, thanks.” Puck appears on the girl's shoulder.

“Oh? A spirit, I’ve never cut open a spirit before.” Elsa smiles, licking her lips.

“This, what are you doing?” Felt asks Elsa, a worried expression on her face.

“It seems like I won’t be getting what I came here for, so I decided to just kill everyone here.” Elsa chirps.

“Like we’ll let you!” I shout, my hands are shaking, but with Subaru grabbing at my hand I keep my face straight.

“Haha, it’s the two from earlier, and you’re still so scared of me, what do you think you can do?” She taunts.

“Probably nothing, but you know what, at least we’re not psychopaths. I mean, come on, who loses a deal and immediately decides to kill everyone, you sound like a child throwing a tantrum.” Subaru fires back.

“Big words for one so small, they almost seem to be getting to me, but your pathetic attempts to buy time aren’t going to work,” Elsa smirks, in a split second, she’s gone. My eyes track her as she goes straight for the silver-haired girl, it’s now or never. I launch myself across the room, bring my foot up, and kick at her knives, hitting one of them and sending it spiraling out of her hand and into the wall. She glances at me with a surprised expression.

“I did get a different feeling from you, but this is truly interesting, I think I’ll take my time with you.” She licks her lips again. I feel a shiver go up my spine. What did I get myself into?

Chapter Text

Elsa didn't look worried despite one of her weapons being embedded in the wall. Instead, she was staring at me with a fire in her gaze that made me reflexively put my hand protectively on my stomach. The adrenaline I was relying on disappeared under her gaze and I froze when she rushed at me. I closed my eyes in anticipation of the blow that never came, as it was interrupted by an icicle storm getting flung at Elsa courtesy of Puck.

“Never close your eyes kid, first rule of combat,” Rom grumbles, jumping over the counter with his giant bat in hand.

“There are rules to combat?” Subaru questions on the side.

“Not helping right now dude.” I shoot back at him, keeping my eye on the mist that spread around the room from Puck’s attack. We’re all watching it, and as the mist clears I can spot a giant block of ice.

“Did we get her?” Felt asks.

“Ughhhhh.” Subaru and I quickly groan.

“What?” Felt questioned, aggrieved.

“You just triggered a flag,” Subaru grumbles while I nod along. A second later the ice breaks apart with a completely intact Elsa standing there, missing only her cloak.

“Hmph, you broke my cloak.” She pouts, inspecting the damage. From her tone it’s clear that she’s not taking the fight seriously at all, she’s simply toying with us.

“Well then, who should I go after first, eeny, meeny, miny, mo!” She points her knife at each of us in turn, stopping it on who else but Subaru.

“Eh?” He says in confusion as she runs up to him, only to be stopped by more icicles.

“While I don’t have the whole story, it’s clear you’re an enemy, so forgive me if I’m a bit rough.” Puck chuckles. He and the silver-haired girl have their arms outstretched, already preparing more icicles.

“Hehe, I like it a bit rough so don’t worry.” Elsa teases, leaping away from the approaching icicles and dodging some more by…did I see that right? This bitch is crawling on the walls! I shoot a surprised glance at Subaru and find him staring at me with the same look on his face. Rom is standing in front of Felt protectively while Subaru and I watch Puck shoot icicles at Elsa which she dodges easily. The spirit hasn’t gotten a hit in yet and neither side shows any signs of slowing down. Elsa has retrieved a knife from the wall and has taken to blocking the shots that Puck sends at her, the fight leaves no chance for anyone to jump in. It seems like it would just continue but I notice a bit of ice piling up at Elsa’s foot, slowly growing in size. She eventually notices after trying to run at the duo and getting stuck.

“Uh-oh, it seems I’ve been caught,” Elsa smirks, no fear in her voice.

“Don’t look down on us spirit-users.” The silver-haired girl smiles, pointing her hands at Elsa and charging up an attack with Puck. They shoot a humongous blast of ice at her and I have to run to the side to avoid being skewered by the edge of it.

“Hoh, that was scary, I thought I was going to die.” Elsa bemoans childishly.

“Seriously, how much stamina can someone have,” I grumble to myself.

“One must have a lot of stamina to engage in certain hobbies, I pride myself on how long I can last, I’m referring to gutting people of course.” Elsa chuckles.

“Cheap,” I mutter at the obvious double-entendre. Then I realize that she’s on the same side of the ice as I am, Subaru is on the side near the bar along with Felt and Rom, and the silver-haired girl is at the front of the room. Elsa turns her eyes to me and licks her lips again.

“I guess I should take care of matters here first.” She smiles, rushing at me. She seems a bit slower than earlier and I notice her leg is bleeding, I assume it’s from her trying to break out of the ice.

“Wait! Can’t we talk about this before resorting to violence!” I beg, jumping back as she swings at me. I dodge a few of her strikes, she’s slightly off-balance as one of her feet has a tall heel on while the other is bare. How is she fighting in heels!? If she wasn’t such a creep I might have started worshipping her. She seems to notice that and hooks over a piece of ice and attaches it to her foot, not letting up on the attack.

“Tsk, it seems the little spirit is disappearing,” Elsa mumbles in disappointment, not even paying attention to me as she slices away. For some reason, that’s what sends me over the edge. Not her creepiness, not her attacking Subaru, not even the constant flashes of my death that just seeing her reminds me of. No, it’s her not even paying attention to me as she tries to kill me.

“Oi! If you’re going to fight me, take it seriously!” I shout, ducking under her strike and aiming a kick at her stomach. It actually connects to my surprise, but it only sends her stumbling back a bit.

“Hm? Ahhh, there’s that look I wanted to see, that fire and drive to fight. It’s my favorite look in the world, I can’t wait to see your guts spill onto the floor” She taunts, a creepy smile lighting up her face.

“Shut the hell up!” I shout at her, rushing at her. I clench my fist as if to punch her before sliding at the last moment and sweeping her legs, causing her to fall to the side, right toward the ice. Before I can celebrate the accomplishment of hitting my opponent again, she braces her arm on the ground and flips away from the ice.

“I’ll admit, you do have some combat sense, but it’s too untrained. I’m done playing for now.” She says, her face turning from a creepy smile to a more ruthless stare. Shit. That stare sends my brain into overdrive, I’m still crouched on the floor which isn’t good considering the speed at which she’s approaching me.

“That’s enough!” “Stop right there!” Two voices shout at the same time. Elsa’s strike is stopped by a shield of ice and a giant club as the silver-haired girl and Rom stand over me.

“Hmph, interrupting a fight like this is rude.” Elsa pouts.

“Erik! Are you okay!” Subaru shouts.

“Yep!” I shout back.

“I’m going to need you guys to distract Elsa for a bit, can you do that?” He asks.

“Sure.” “Yep.” “I guess?” That last one came from me, I have no idea why I'm being included with two people who clearly know how to hold their own in a fight. I quickly scramble up from my place on the ground and put my fists up, Elsa is appraising us, glancing us over with her eyes.

“You know I’m right here and can hear everything you’re saying.” She chuckles in amusement.

“So? It’s three against one, whatever that boy is planning you won’t be able to interrupt it.” The silver-haired girl says confidently. The ice cutting through the room started to melt, I could see the top of Subaru’s head but was distracted as Elsa rushed at us again. She was using the ice on her foot to slide around at faster speeds than before. Rom, the silver-haired girl, and I exchanged a look, and despite barely knowing them, I somehow got the feeling of exactly what we planned to do. Rom rushed forward first and parried the slice Elsa sent his way, I jumped in after that and aimed a strike at her side while she was off-balance, causing her foot to shift sideways to brace the blow. That’s when the silver-haired girl struck at Elsa with her ice on the opposite side of me. Elsa quickly dodged backward and I was left jumping to the side to avoid the ice.

“Ay, watch it!” I yell at the girl.

“Sorry!” She apologizes.

“Go! Felt!” I hear Subaru shout at the top of his lungs. I can barely spot Felt dashing out the door and turn my head to follow her movement. It seems everyone else did as well because while we’re still recovering from the shock of watching Felt dash off, Subaru shouts a warning.

“Rom! Watch out!” I turn just in time to see Elsa slash at him, he stumbles back, but it’s not far or fast enough to avoid an injury and his stomach is slashed. Blood spurts out but I don’t spot any organs and the man groans in pain so I take the time to get in between Elsa and Rom before she can do any more damage.

“Get him away from here!” I order the silver-haired girl. She rushes in and grabs Rom, dragging him away from the fight as Elsa strikes at me again.

“It seems one got away, a shame, now I won’t get to see her belly cut open.” Elsa sighs, I can’t do anything but dodge the crazy lady’s slices. I’m barely keeping it together, I can feel her knife get closer with each strike.

“Don’t count me out!” I suddenly hear a shout and turn to see Subaru approaching Elsa with a chair in his hands, ready to bring it down over her head. Shit, this idiot is going to get himself killed, who announced themselves like that? I can only watch as Elsa kicks him in the stomach and the chair falls harmlessly to the ground. The moment she kicks him in the stomach I feel something slam into my stomach and I heave out a cough.

“Hm? You appear to be in pain, I didn’t do anything though?” Elsa stares at me with confusion in her eyes. I remember her reaction the last time she found out about the whole sharing pain thing…it wasn’t pleasant.

“U-um, I’m just not used to fighting like this so my muscles are screaming out in pain.” I offer up an excuse. She seems to take the answer, nodding her head, before dashing at me again.

“Not so fast!” I hear a voice call out behind me as I scramble backward, falling onto the floor in my efforts to escape Elsa. My stomach was throbbing and was making it hard to move. The silver-haired girl has her hands out and shoots another icicle at Elsa who easily blocks the strike. It’s dark inside the loot house, with only fragments of moonlight lighting up the space. I glance around the room at my allies, Subaru is struggling to get up, Rom is barely breathing in the corner, the silver-haired girl is panting, clearly exhausted from the fight, and Elsa is standing in the middle of it all, not a single wound on her. We’re outmatched, there’s no way we can win this fight. What was I even thinking of coming here again? Saving someone? What a laughable cause to die for, saving someone who doesn’t even remember you. Tears of frustration well up in my eyes at the thought. It doesn’t make sense, it’s not fair, and I don’t understand. These thoughts run through my head as I glare at the woman. She notices my gaze and smirks at me lazily, that expression only infuriates me more.

“You know what! Fuck this, I’m here for one reason and one reason only! I want to save someone, and I’m not going to let you get in my way!” A shout brings me out of my thoughts and I turn to see Subaru holding up Rom’s club. He’s holding onto his stomach and pointing the club at Elsa. I stared at him in shock, what was this idiot doing? Couldn’t he see it was useless, none of us were in the state to beat her right now! And he’s the weakest of us all! And yet…and yet…he grabbed that club and challenged Elsa, declaring he would save the silver-haired girl. I don’t understand how he can do these things. But…I can’t have someone younger than me showing me up. I don’t quite get how he can be this brave, and discard his fear just to save someone, but I do know his words are the only things inspiring me to get my ass off the ground and at least try to fight Elsa off. I push myself off the ground and put my fists up, squaring off against Elsa again.

“It seems you have some spirit left, I’ll take you up on your challenge,” Elsa says, running toward Subaru. I follow behind her as he tries to block some of her strikes, failing miserably and getting me sliced up in the process. The silver-haired girl provides backup fire and Subaru thanks her as I finally reach Elsa and aim a punch at her back. She dodges out of the way and Subaru tries to bring the club down on her head, she goes to slice him but he lets go of the club at the last second, aiming a kick at her instead. She catches it, but I come and kick at her again, she drops her other dagger and catches my leg.

“Isn’t this quite the comedic situation?” She chuckles. The silver-haired girl sends another icicle her way but Elsa moves her hands and slams Subaru and I together to block the shot. The silver-haired girl quickly creates a barrier between us and the ice. I feel Elsa grip my leg tighter, it seems she’s preparing to throw us or something, but before she gets the chance the roof collapses and she lets go to avoid the falling debris, which Subaru and I immediately get covered in, the dust falling straight onto our heads as we luckily avoid any big planks.

“Cough, cough, what the fuck?” I question aloud, trying not to inhale any more dust.

“It seems I arrived in time.” A familiar voice calls out. I rapidly turn my head, giving myself a painful neck crick which Subaru yelps out in pain for as I spot a familiar redhead. What the hell was Reinhard doing here? More importantly, did he enter through the fucking roof?! These questions are left unanswered as Subaru grabs my hand and drags me behind the newly arrived ally.

“It’s nice to meet you two again, though I wish it were in better circumstances.” Reinhard turns back to us and greets us politely.

“W-huh?” I stumble over my words, extremely distracted by the way the moonlight catches his hair just right to give it an ethereal glow and-fucking focus! I mentally slap myself and clear my throat as I catch Subaru giving me that funny look again.

“Ahem, it’s good to see you again Reinhard, but what the fuck are you doing here?” I ask the man, finally managing a coherent sentence.

“A friend of yours ran into me outside and told me about what’s happening in here, you two seem to have run into quite the opponent, the Bowel Hunter, known for her unique killing style,” Reinhard explains as he turns back to Elsa and examines her.

“Yikes, that’s an evil name, but totally accurate.” Subaru points at Elsa mockingly.

“It seems I truly have met some wonderful opponents today, to have the Master Swordsman himself right at my doorstep, truly wonderful.” Elsa smiles, licking her lips.

“I would ask you to back down, but am I correct in assuming your answer to that would not be in my favor?” Reinhard asks the woman.

“Indeed, I can’t give up such juicy prey,” Elsa smirks. If she looked insane before, then her eyes after seeing Reinhard are something above even insanity. If I were on the other end of eyes like that, I wouldn’t be able to move, but Reinhard seems to be taking it in stride. The gentle smile still stuck to his face.

“I would appreciate it if you two back up, preferably over to that woman over there,” Reinhard tells us, I turn to see the silver-haired girl kneeling next to Rom. Subaru and I make our way over to her, she seems to be healing Rom but I barely pay any attention to them as I watch Reinhard and Elsa begin their fight. If you can even call it that, Reinhard is completely mopping the floor with Elsa, grabbing a sword from the ground that fell off the loot house wall.

“Why don’t you use your sword?” Elsa asks him.

“This sword is a bit special, it only unsheathes for those it deems worthy, and I’m afraid you are not one of those people, so I’ll be using this instead.” He explains, tilting his head toward the sword he picked up. I watch with awe as Reinhard easily blocks all her strikes, even breaking one of her daggers. He doesn’t even move from the spot he’s standing in as she moves around the room striking at him from every angle. The fight is mesmerizing, but the expression on his face is one of boredom. I frown as I stare at him, fights shouldn’t be boring. Scary, exciting, anger-filled yes, but boring? Fights are meant to have feelings behind them, the urge to get stronger, the want to seek revenge, or simply for honor or fun. If a fight is boring, then it isn’t a fight. And really, it’s such a shame to see a look of boredom on his face, someone this strong should have fun fighting, but I guess once you get too strong, those emotions vanish. I take a second to piece together what I’m thinking, and what the fuck? When do I know anything about fights, I must be going crazy.

“The fight’s been going on for a while, he can finish it, right?” Subaru asks.

“He can’t fight at full strength right now because I’m healing this man, if he were to fight seriously all the mana in this room would go toward him.” The silver-haired girl explains. Subaru and I turn toward her in confusion, not understanding her words.

“Why are you looking at me like that, you should understand, your gates are similar.” The silver-haired girl states, pointing at me. That just makes me more confused but I don’t say anything, instead turning my attention back to the fight.

“When I give the signal tell Reinhard I’m done healing this man.” The girl tells Subaru. A few seconds later she lifts her hand and Subaru yells out, “I don’t know what’s happening but do your thing, Reinhard!” The moment he yells I sense a slight shift in the room, like something is being drawn toward the redhead. I gasp as I watch the sword in his hand start to glow and after exchanging a few words with Elsa, he swings. The force of the blow destroys even more of the loot house and sends out a wind that forces me to cover my face. When the dust settles, there’s no sight of Elsa anywhere.

“What the hell! You're even more brutal than she was, there’s not a trace of her left!” Subaru shouts.

“Shut up! Is that how you treat someone that saves your ass, I better not get this treatment if I help you out.” I scold Subaru.

“Haha, it’s fine, certainly the most unique reaction I’ve ever heard.” Reinhard chuckles.

“Unique is one way of saying it, I would personally say crazy,” I mumble.

“I heard that!” Subaru yells, but I’m already walking away toward the redhead, Subaru stays behind with the silver-haired girl, I’m sure he wants to talk to her.

“Hey, thanks for helping us, we would’ve been dead meat if you hadn’t shown up.” I thank the man, after staring at him for the duration of the fight I think I can handle talking normally around him.

“It’s no problem, it’s my duty to help those in need.” He still has that gentle smile on his face, I wish I could rip it off, he probably means his words but he doesn’t know how fake that smile looks to me.

“Ah man, I just want to thank you! Don’t get all high and mighty, I know lots of people who wouldn’t help someone in need even if it was their duty to, so just accept the thanks.” I chide. I see a small trace of surprise run through his expression, his smile dying just a little before returning in full force.

“Sure, but you also have to thank your friend here who ran through the streets and caught my attention.” He deflects, turning to look at Felt. This man utterly confuses me, but I don’t know him well enough to call him out on his obvious change of subject. So instead I listen in as Subaru and the silver-haired girl discuss what to do with Felt. I was zoning out a bit when I suddenly felt an odd twisting in my gut. I turn toward the silver-haired and spot her, but it’s too late, Elsa is already rushing straight toward her.

“Watch out!” Reinhard and I yell at the same time. I watch as Subaru runs and grabs Rom’s club just in time to block the strike, saving the silver-haired girl from being gutted. Reinhard steps in between Elsa and Subaru before she can strike again.

“Haaah, it seems I lost today, but I saw so many interesting things. Don’t worry, I’ll be back for all of your guts at some point, but for now, this is goodbye.” Elsa takes a bow and jumps her way onto the roof and out of the loot house, completely disappearing. I breathe in a sigh of relief knowing she’s gone.

“What were you thinking?! You need to be more careful!” The silver-haired girl turns to Subaru and shouts at him, her voice laced with worry.

“Yeah, don’t worry me like that asshole,” I tell him.

“Ehehe, sorry, but I’ve finally gotten this far sooooo…my name is Natsuki Subaru! And I just saved your life from an evil villain, I’m sure we all agree on that point?” Subaru asks, glancing around the room. We all nod, I have no idea where he’s going with this but the stupid dance he’s doing while saying it is making me cringe big time.

“Right, so with that, I’d like to ask you to grant a wish of mine.” Subaru finishes, placing his hand out toward the girl.

“Ah, fine, but only if it’s within my power.” She agrees.

“Then, I have but one request, tell me your name.” He asks her. I open my mouth in shock. He can ask this girl to do anything he wants, and he asks her for her name? He could ask for money, or a place to live, or a job, hell he could even ask for a kiss. But nooooo, he has to be an idiot and a gentleman and ask for her name.

“Hey! If you get to have a stupid reward then I want one too!” I yell out.

“Fine, you can have one too.” The girl replies, still shocked by Subaru’s question.

“Not from you, but you.” I turn and point to Reinhard.

“Huh?” He questions.

“I get it, you saved our asses and shit so I don’t have to demand anything from you, but I think it would be in any gentleman's right to take on such a request if my other was to be to ask the lady for her chastity.” I grin. Subaru stares at me in horror, the girl has a confused look on her face, and Reinhard lets out a small chuckle.

“I wouldn’t have denied your request in the first place, what do you want?” He asks.

“A smile, I don’t care if it’s now or later, but I want to see your real smile once,” I smirk as I watch his expression freeze for a second. Watching this guy make different faces compared to his fake gentle smile is always entertaining.

“I suppose, that can be arranged.” He eventually answers.

“Hahaha, you two are funny, my name is Emilia, nice to meet you.” The silver-haired girl, Emilia, laughs. She holds out her hand and Subaru shakes it, he has a big goofy grin on his face and I can’t help but be proud of him.

“You truly are lucky Subaru, this thing managed to stop her blade in time.” Reinhard comments, picking up the bat. Only, the bat has been cut in half all the way through…that can’t be good. I watch as his shirt cuts open in a delayed reaction, and a slice opens up on his stomach. I can feel as my stomach is sliced as well and with all the exhaustion from the past few days, I can’t stop my mind from easily slipping into unconsciousness. I hope I didn’t die again.

Chapter Text

My eyes flutter open and I find myself under an unfamiliar ceiling, I didn’t die again…that’s good, right? It would suck to go through all that shit only to end up kidnapped. I sit up to assess my situation, I’m lying in a bed in a big fancy-ass room. I glance down toward my stomach and find a pink scar settled on the skin, my eyes follow the length of the scar across my body until it reaches the other end. I feel a bit proud looking at the scar, some people think scars are something to hide and feel shameful of, but I only think that applies to scars with a shameful meaning. Scars are there to show you fought life’s battles and came out the other side a winner, even if they’re as simple as a small one on your hand after slicing it with a knife while cooking.

As I’m staring at my stomach, I soon realize I don’t have my clothes on, or at least, not the clothes I came to this world wearing. Instead, I’m wearing some weird hospital gown. There are ties to keep the front together but I must have tossed and turned in my sleep and opened it or something because the gown is hanging open. I realize with horror that I’m not wearing my fucking binder, which means someone took it off and has definitely seen my body. I dig my nails into my skin just short of bleeding to hold off the panic attack, I feel like throwing up and I swallow thickly to try and keep it down. My vision is swimming as I roll up my sleeves, they probably saw the scars on my arms as well, little crisscross cuts up and down the lengths of them.

I pull the gown closed and tie it up, my first goal is to find my clothes and put them on, after that…I’ll deal with it all later. I ungracefully roll off the bed and scramble my way to the door, flinging it open and stepping out into the humongous hallway. I’ve never seen anything this fancy before in my life, how the fuck do you even make this much money. I scan the hallway to see if anyone’s around before spotting an open door a ways down. I head over to it and peek inside only to see a little girl with a gown and pigtails with her hand on Subaru’s chest as he falls to his knees.

“Uhm?” I make my presence known by letting out a confused hum. The situation probably isn’t great considering the idiot is passed out on the floor, but I don’t think the girl is someone that dangerous, at least, she doesn’t have a reason to be. I bet the idiot just said something to piss her off.

“Hmph, you’re this idiot's friend, I suppose?” The girl asks.

“Uh, yeah, I guess so,” I reply.

“Then take him away, I don’t want him in my sigh, in fact.” The girl huffs, turning away from me and sitting in a chair. The room seems to be a giant library, with books spread all around. I would’ve loved to read in this place but I can’t read the fucking language, so for now this library's secrets aren’t for me to know. I grab Subaru and drag him out, the door slamming closed behind me as I search around for a room to put him in. I eventually spot another open door and drag his body through it, finding a room similar to the one I woke up in. I place him on the bed and plop into one of the two chairs beside it.

I don’t know exactly what happened back there, but whatever it was, I didn’t share the pain or pass out from it. I don’t know if that means the damn curse is gone or if whatever that was is something completely different. I don’t have much time to think about it though because the door suddenly opens and I turn to find two girls entering the room. They’re both wearing maid outfits, but one has pink hair and the other has blue hair. They appear to be very close as they enter the room hand in hand and stand by the wall. They take my presence in with surprise, but before any of us can get a word out Subaru stirs in the bed.

“Hmm, I know this ceiling.” It’s the first thing out of his mouth and I want to slap him. How can someone take a situation like this so unseriously?

“You just passed out, how the fuck is that the first thing you say!?” I glare at him and watch as his expression goes from neutral to affronted.

“I don’t see you coming up with anything interesting to say.” He argues.

“Because I don’t say shit! You wake up and then you regret all of life's decisions before crawling out of bed like a zombie because you hate waking up and would rather spend the day being unproductive because you’ve got shit to do.” I shoot back.

“Ha! Well unlike you, I stay home all day sleeping only to wake up at night, I have endless hours to sleep in!” He replies smugly, sitting up in bed with a ‘gotcha!’ expression like he won something over me. I just look at him with an intense expression of pity to get my point across.

“It seems our guests are awake sister.” A voice calls out, shit, I forgot about the other two in the room.

“Indeed, and it seems one is extremely pathetic.” I glanced over to find the pink-haired one looking at Subaru with the same expression as I was.

“Hey! I’ll have you know I won that argument!” He immediately switches to arguing with the newcomers, not even a beat of hesitation as he notices their presence.

“Oh, honey, whatever you say.” I sigh dramatically, patting his head.

“Truly pathetic.” The blue one has a sad expression on her face.

“Don’t pity him too much sister, he doesn’t deserve to be cared for.” The pink one tells her.

“To whom do I owe the fine pleasure of being verbally assaulted this morning?” Subaru asks the maids, a trace of annoyance in his voice.

“He wants to know our names sister, should we tell him?” The blue one asks.

“He doesn’t deserve to know.” The pink one replies coldly.

“Hahahahaha, you made a really bad impression.” I chuckle, slapping him on the back.

“Is everything okay in here?” I hear another voice calling out. I turn to the door and find Emilia standing there, wearing a pink dress and looking slightly amused.

“This man was being a complete deadbeat and killing our brain cells.” The blue one answers.

“I feel bad for his companion.” The pink one adds on.

“Tell me about it.” I lean back in my chair dramatically.

“Aw, stop teasing him you three.” Emilia giggles, making her way over to the bed. Subaru’s face is blank but I can see that his ears are red from the teasing.

“Sorry, Miss Emilia.” The two maids apologize.

“It’s fine, are you two alright though? Are you feeling any adverse effects?” Emilia asks, a look of worry appearing on her face.

“Nope, I feel fine.” Subaru answers.

“Same here,” I reply.

“Good, I’m sorry, but there’s going to be a scar. You’re lucky we were able to heal you at all,” Emilia says, turning to me. I wave my hand to tell her it’s alright. I have no idea what she means by that, but I guess I should be glad I’m alive. I glance at Subaru’s stomach to find that it’s completely bare, with no scar in sight.

“Thank you for saving us, even though you don’t know us that well,” Subaru says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

“No no, thank you, I don’t know what would have happened if you two weren’t there to save me.” Emilia smiles. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch a slight blush on Subaru, if I wasn’t attracted to men I’d be blushing too, that smile is something people fight wars for.

“Uhm, sorry if I’m being a bit rude after you saved us and everything, but do you happen to know where my clothes are?” I ask Emilia.

“Sure, I’ll bring your clothes and let you and Subaru get ready for the day.” She replies lightly. I internally let out a sigh of relief. I spent a while saving up to get that binder and it would suck to lose it, I don’t know if they even have anything like that in this world. The two maids leave the room and return with our clothes.

“Would you like to go back to your room to change? If not there’s a closet you can change in instead.” Emilia offers.

“Erm, I’ll take the closet, I guess.” I don’t want to walk back to my room just to change; that would be annoying. We exchange a few pleasantries, and then Emilia leaves the room, and I head into the closet to put my clothes back on. My sliced shirt seems to have been repaired, which is nice. While I’m throwing on all my clothes, Subaru starts a conversation with me through the door.

“So, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for assuming you were a guy, I just thought from the name and the way you dressed…” He trails off a bit awkwardly. My blood freezes and I hurriedly take a deep breath to calm myself down. It feels as if all the wind’s been knocked out of me, I don’t know what to say. I don’t know if I should tell the truth or not, if I don’t, it would suck but I would be safe.

I wouldn’t have to deal with any questions or scorn, any pity. But I would be pretending to be something I’m not, and every single time somebody calls me a girl it feels like being shot ten times right in the heart. But if I do tell, what happens if he hates me, or if he just treats it like everything is normal, when it’s not normal, I’m not normal. Why can’t I just be normal? I’m brought back to the words my parents used when I told them the truth.

“Why can’t you just be normal, for our sake?” My mom asked me, her eyes wet with unshed tears.

“If you take this road you’ll only be hurting yourself.” My dad says sadly. Before I realize it I’m digging my nails into my arm and drawing blood.

“Are you okay?” Subaru asks, his voice soft. I know he can feel the pain, guilt breathes life into my chest knowing that I hurt him, even if it was an accident.

“I…I am…a boy. My name is Erik, and I am a guy, no matter what you might see that tells you otherwise, I’m a hundred percent a man.” My voice is small, but in the quiet of the room, it sounds like a gunshot. I had to tell him the truth, he’s a nice kid and I owe that much to him after all the pain I’ve caused him for being a weak idiot.

“Oh…okay then, is there anything you don’t want me to do?” He asks. It’s hard to hear the exact tone of his voice through the closet door, but he doesn’t seem too angry. In fact, his words are supportive, I try to stop that train of thought before hope blossoms in my chest.

“Uhm, yeah, uh, just don’t ask any invasive questions, don’t call me a girl at all, don’t look at me with pity, I know who I am and what I’m doing,” I tell him, my voice getting a bit louder.

“There is one thing I want to know, can I ask you?” He questions. My brain lags, caught up in making all sorts of scenarios.

“Uhm, yeah,” I answered shakily.

“What was it like…in school I mean. You don’t have to answer that, sorry, I just…I’ve had some bad experiences with school and I wanted to know if you did as well.” He mumbles the last part, I can barely hear it. It’s not the question I expected and a small smile forces its way to the surface of my face.

“School was…not the worst I mean people stared but nobody ever said anything to my face. I even had supportive friends who were there for me. But…I started to make stuff up in my head, what if this happened what if that happened that sort of thing. I overthought every interaction I had, even with my friends. It got to be too much, my anxiety bled through into my schoolwork and instead of facing the problem head-on, I ran. I did online school instead and stayed at home pushing away all my friends.” I explain, my heart is thudding in my chest and I even hold my breath, waiting for his answer.

“Oh…that sucks.” Subaru finally answers, “I-I mean it sucks that you felt like that, I stayed home from school too, for similar-ish reasons. I ran away from it all too, and I know what that feels like, and it sucks, plain and simple.”

“Yeah…” I trail off, my eyes are blurry with unshed tears. I have all my clothes on now, the only thing left to do is leave the closet. I open the door and step out, Subaru is dressed in his tracksuit, and his eyes are on me. They don’t flick down, they don’t have pity in them, they’re the same mean eyes he’s always had, and they’re staring at me like he sees me for me. The tears fall and I rush up to him, embracing him in a hug as I sob into his shoulder. He doesn’t say a word and just lets me cry there for a minute. My cries are ugly and heaving and I know I’m getting snot all over his clothes, but for just that moment I don’t care and I revel in the fact that I have a friend who sees me.

Chapter Text

I dry my eyes with tissues before following Subaru out the door, Emilia is waiting for us outside while the two maids are nowhere to be found. She studies my face as I step out and I can tell she knows I’ve been crying, but mercifully, she doesn’t mention it. Instead, we head outside and I get to take a good look at the place we’ve been taken to.

It’s a mansion, a big fucking mansion, someplace I only dreamed about living in before. Well-manicured bushes and trees litter the area, there’s even a gazebo with a small moat surrounding it. Ahhh, I wish I was as rich as this, if I were this rich I would buy everything I need to stay inside all day and read books without a care in the world, never needing to socialize ever again. While I’m lost in the fantasy of being a rich person, Subaru has led Emilia over to an open area in the grass and started doing…radio calisthenics?

“Erik! C’mon, join us!” Subaru shouts at me.

“Err, I know I’m severely out of shape but I don’t think this is necessary,” I grumble, taking a step back.

“Nonsense,” Subaru smirks, running over and grabbing my hand, dragging me over. That’s how I found myself doing radio calisthenics at whatever o’clock in the morning. I will take it to my grave that I kind of enjoyed it.

“Now we say…Victory!” Subaru yells enthusiastically, throwing his hands in the air. Emila and Puck follow along, but I keep my hands at my sides. I am nowhere near awake enough to partake in that ritual.

“Oh! Puck, it’s great to see you.” Emilia smiles at the tiny spirit.

“Good morning to you too Lia, I must thank you two for protecting her.” Puck greets Emilia and then turns to me and Subaru.

“Hmmm, if that’s the case, let me pet your fur whenever you want,” Subaru states, grabbing Puck and rubbing his head.

“Ehhh, seriously!? Choose better rewards, you dumbass!” I berate him. In reality, I’m just jealous that he gets to pet the spirit that doesn’t want to go anywhere near me.

“You sure you aren’t just projecting? I bet you want to pet the spirit too.” He smirks.

“Ugh. Just shut up.” I scramble for something to say but my ears have already turned beet red and I can hear Emilia laughing next to me. Subaru continues to pet Puck, treating him like a cat and scratching his chin.

“So, is there anything you want from me?” Puck asks. I take a moment to think about his question. There isn’t exactly anything I want from the spirit, but maybe some information would be good.

“What’s this Gate thing you keep talking about?” I ask the spirit. The question seems to give Emilia and Puck pause as they glance at each other.

“Oh yeah, I had that question as well,” Subaru states, looking at the duo expectantly,

“You two don’t know?” Emilia asks. We both shake our heads, it seems like it’s common knowledge here.

“Hm, well a gate is basically-” Puck starts to explain but is interrupted by someone calling out for Emilia.

“Miss Emilia, Lord Roswaal has returned.” The pink-haired maid informs.

“Oh, I see, let’s continue this conversation later,” Emilia says, she pushes on our backs to lead us back inside the mansion. I give Subaru a confused look but he just shrugs his shoulders, indicating he has no idea what’s going on either. As we head through the mansion we approach some double doors and as we walk through them the dining room reveals itself and someone is standing next to the entrance, it’s the little girl with pigtails from earlier.

“I was watching your exploits from upstairs, I have come to the conclusion you are quite stupid, I suppose.” She informs Subaru.

“Hah?! Tough words coming from someone who looks no older than four, you damn loli.” Subaru teases.

“I don’t think you're going to win this fight, remember what happened last time?” I warn him.

“Hey Betty! It seems you enjoy teasing Subaru too.” Puck emerges from Emilia’s hair and floats over to the girl.

“Bubby!” The girl's entire demeanor changes after she sets her eyes on the spirit. She becomes all smiles as she starts chattering with the spirit.

“Wow, isn’t that something,” I say in wonder, watching the girl and the spirit.

“Hehe, she really likes Puck,” Emilia explains.

“My, my, it seems we have a loooot of guests today. It’s niiiiice to see that you wanted to join us, Beatrice.” A voice suddenly cuts into the room. It’s a man with long blue hair and some clown makeup on. He looks very goofy but has a presence that demands respect, I take a small step away from him.

“Hmph, I only came here to see Bubby, in fact!” The girl, I assume her name is Beatrice, replies to the man in annoyance. I turn to try and catch Subaru’s eye but as soon as I look at him I can tell he’s about to do something stupid so I grab his hand which he had slightly raised and give him my harshest glare. The interaction doesn’t seem to go unnoticed by the man as he turns to look at the both of us.

“Uhm, it’s nice to meet you, sir, what’s your name?” I ask, holding out my hand.

“Hm? It is nice to meet you as weeeeeell, my name is Roswaal L. Mathers, I am the lord of this manor.” He shakes my hand and then looks at Subaru who introduces himself as well. After the introductions we are all placed around the table with Beatrice sitting next to Emilia, Subari sitting next to me, and Roswaal at the head of the table with the two maids next to him.

I feel a bit awkward about eating the food, something with which Subaru must be unfamiliar with as he digs in. I try to be careful about manners and such but keeping my damn elbows off the table is such a chore.

“The food is delicious, compliments to whoever cooked it.” Subaru makes idle chatter with a smile on his face. For someone who apparently stayed inside all day he sure knows how to socialize. It’s something I am very jealous of as every second that I talk to someone is hell as I overthink almost everything I do.

“Yeeeees, Rem’s cooking is quite impressive, I am glad you noticed it,” Roswaal states, smiling at the blue-haired maid.

“So the blue-haired one is Rem? Thank you for this meal.” He tells her.

“I am grateful to be of service, I do all the cooking in this household.” She states, “My sister is not good at cooking.” She adds bluntly.

“Ah, then your sister must be good at cleaning then, right?” He exclaims. The conversation is slightly nonsensical and doesn’t have much real merit but it’s interesting to listen to, it’s also nice to learn more about the inhabitants of this mansion. Through the conversation, I find out that the pink-haired maid is named Ram and that she is generally shit at pretty much everything a maid should be good at while Rem actually knows what she’s doing.

“Do you even have a purpose?” Subaru asks Ram.

“My purpose is to kick out deadbeats who laze around all day like a certain someone.” She responds glaring at Subaru.

“I don’t know why the people you tease are the ones who could utterly destroy you with their words or the ones who are too innocent to understand what you mean,” I tell him.

“I’ll just stick to teasing you then.” He replies.

“Oi, I’ll have you know I’ve won most of our arguments.” I spit back.

“Sure, but you don’t win them all which means I have a chance.” He smirks. I’m about to reply but I hear a chuckle come from Roswaal and turn back to my plate, my ears turning red again. I wish I could go one day without completely embarrassing myself but here we are.

“You two reeeeeeally are strange. You don’t seem to know anythiiiing and yet you somehow found yourselves in the Margrave Mansion.” He states. The man's words are totally bait, but we do need information so I decided to ask some questions.

“We don’t pay attention to the world much, is something happening in Lugunica currently?” I ask the man, keeping my face blank and innocent.

“Weeeeeell, we seem to have found ourselves without a King at the moment.” He says, glancing at our faces to gauge our reaction.

“That’s unfortunate, are there any measures being taken to replace the King?” I ask him.

“Yes, the situation is quuuuuuite well-known around here. An epidemic wiped out the royal family so nooooow a council of wise men is running the kingdom while we select a new King.” Roswaal explains.

“Ah, I can see how we would seem suspicious in a time of such strife,” I tell him. Wait…this is actually really fucking bad. We totally seem suspicious, we appear out of random and don’t know shit about the kingdom while all this internal politics and shit is happening. That definitely puts us at the top of a ‘the most suspicious people in the kingdom’ list.

“Mhm, not only that but to have immediately connected yourself to Miss Emilia.” He adds.

“Eh? Miss Emilia? Aren’t you the lord of the mansion, why would you address her so highly?” Subaru asks Roswaal, I’m praying in my head that Emilia isn’t some big shot and that Roswaal is just some quirky mansion owner.

“Even though I am the lord of this mansion it is only right to address someone of higher standing with the proper respect.” He smirks. Subaru and I both stare at Emilia, I almost feel like passing out. I feel like we’ve totally fucked ourselves but hopefully, we can get out of being seen as criminals or spies.

“Ehehe, I am one of the candidates next in line to be King.” She laughs, a bit self-consciously.

“Right then.” I sigh into my hands. Subaru seems to be having a freak-out next to me as I rub my eyes harshly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hide it.” She apologizes, placing the insignia on the table.

“Hey, isn’t that the insignia we got back from Felt?” Subaru questions.

“Yes, it verifies you as a candidate and tells you if you’re worthy of taking the throne.” She explains. Subaru and I just give her a dead stare.

“So you mean to say…” “That you lost the item that proves you’re a candidate to be King?” I start and Subaru finishes. Emilia turns red and starts spouting out excuses.

“So what would happen if you lost it?” I ask, picking up the insignia and turning it around in my hands.

“Someone who can’t hold on to a liiiiiittle insignia like that surely can’t run a nation, their right to the throne would be considered null and void,” Roswaal states.

“Yikes, seems like I helped you quite a lot then Emilia.” Subaru smirks, rubbing his hands together shadily.

“It’s true, you two are my saviors.” Emilia smiles back.

“You can request any one thing you want and I shall fulfill it, how does that sound?” Roswaal questions.

“Perfect! Hire us to work here in this mansion!” Subaru stands up and makes his request. The one request we are allowed. The one request we’re asking a rich man of high standing, and he requests to work here for minimum fucking wage.

“...WHAT! I’M GOING TO THROTTLE YOU, YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOON!” I shout tackling him to the ground. A little while later we’re led to the dressing rooms to find an outfit for us to wear. The butler’s uniforms unfortunately don’t fit either of us.

“Ah man, I can understand why I don’t fit in this but what excuse do you have?” I question Subaru.

“I’m still a growing boy, I’m sure I’ll hit a growth spurt soon.” He says.

“Sure, sure.” I wave my hand.

“You two can’t be allowed to work here in such shady outfits, we will have to alter them.” Ram states.

“Ah, thanks for offering.” I smile at her. I like Ram, she’s sarcastic and witty, she reminds me of one of my old friends from school who didn’t take anyone's shit. Subaru and I stand still while the two maids take our measurements to alter the uniforms. Rem takes Subaru’s while Ram takes mine.

“Have you always worked for the mansion?” I ask her.

“No…but I can’t imagine working anywhere else now.” She responds.

“Do you have an attachment to this place or something?” I question.

“Mr Roswaal, our master, is the one I devote my life to, he saved me and my sister’s life.” She explains.

“I see, you’re the type of person who’s cold and sarcastic but would do anything for your loved ones, right?” I smirk.

“I suppose so.” She gives me a light smile before finishing up. We push up our uniforms so that they are semi-functional and then are taken on a tour of the mansion, I try to remember all the rooms but get lost about halfway through and hope Subaru remembers it enough to let me know later. When Ram is showing us the bathroom, the door opens to reveal Beatrice sitting on the bed with Puck. She seems surprised to see us there and quickly shoves Subaru out when he tries to make conversation. When he opens the door again, she’s nowhere to be seen and a bathroom takes the library's place.

“That was Beatrice’s ability, Door Crossing. She’s able to hide her presence and the only way to find her at that point is to open up every door.” Ram explains.

“Really? I bet she’s riiiight…here!” Subaru glances around before flinging open a nearby door revealing the girl with pigtails.

“Nice find.” Puck chuckles.

“Ergggh, how come you keep finding the right door?” She questions.

“Hehe, I’m just naturally good at destroying flags like that.” Subaru laughs.

“You make no sense, I suppose. Who are you supposed to be?” She asks spitefully.

“That’s what I should be asking you, are you Roswaal’s little sister?” He asks.

“Yuck, I would never be his sister, in fact.” She responds.

“Betty oversees Roswaal’s forbidden library, she makes sure nobody reads stuff they shouldn’t and protects it,” Puck explains.

“There you have it, now leave!” She yells out, shutting the door in Subaru’s face.

“Do you think she’d let me read some of the books?” I ask Ram.

“I highly doubt it, barely anyone makes Beatrice warm up to them, and considering your personality you two could be in the same room for hours and not think of anything to say to each other.” Ram answers. Which, harsh, but true. After our conversation Ram led us outside to finish the tour, she asked if we had any questions but neither of us had anything to say so she started explaining the workload.

Spoiler alert, it’s a fucking lot of work, Subaru was not good at any of the chores and Ram is more of a bare-minimum type worker. That leaves me doing most of the chores which I am luckily good at, being home alone so often teaches you a lot of responsibility. That night I collapsed into my bed exhausted when someone knocked on the door. I open it to find Ram standing there with my uniform.

“Ah, is it finished already?” I ask her.

“Correct, my sister sewed but she asked me to bring it to you while she brings the other one to Barusu,” Ram answers, pushing past me and into the room to set the outfit down.

“Hm, even if you didn’t do any of the work thanks for bringing it to me and showing me around the house today,” I reply, sitting back down on my bed.

“I don’t know why you’re thanking me for the tour when you zoned out halfway through it.” I wince but notice the small smirk on her face.

“Eh, that’s just because you were boring, if you didn’t speak in such a monotone way I’m sure I would’ve paid more attention.” I tease.

“Or you have the inability to pay attention to anything more than a few sentences long and the result would have been the same regardless.” She shoots back.

“Haha, I guess you caught me, I’m shit with directions and stuff I thought it’d be better to have that idiot explain it to me later.” I chuckle.

“Hm, I wouldn’t count on that idiot for anything but I suppose it’s your only choice, have a good night.” She says, making her way to the door.

“Goodnight!” I call out to her before lying down and finally getting a good night’s rest. The next few days are full of pain and accumulating injuries to my hands because a certain idiot cannot figure out how to use sharp objects without hurting himself. At one point while I do some house chores and he runs off to the village a bite mark appears on my hand. I don’t even know how he got bit so I decided to question him about it at night.

I walk around for a while before finding him in the garden talking to Emilia, I hide behind a bush before they can see me so I can eavesdrop on them. I hear him talk about his various injuries and find out the bite mark is from a dog that bit him in the village, I’m prepared to leave but then I hear the bastard ask her out on a date. Seems like he does have balls, after all, every time I’ve had a crush I would stay silent until the crush faded.

I retreat to the mansion with a soft smile on my face, the kid deserves some happiness after everything he went through and I’m proud of him. I turn the doorknob to my room expecting to enter it and lie down for some rest, but instead, I find myself surrounded by books with Beatrice in the middle.

“Ah, sorry, I meant to go to my room.” I apologize, turning around to leave.

“Wait, I wanted to talk to you, in fact.” She calls out to me. I turn back around in surprise, I don’t know why she would want to talk to me, we’ve barely interacted so this comes as a bit of a shock.

“Uhm…sure?” I reply.

“That boy who you came with, tell me about him, in fact.” She demands.

“Wait, you want to know about Subaru? You know you could just ask him, right?” I question her.

“I don’t want to talk to that idiot! I just want information about him!” She replies.

“Suuure? I don’t really know him that well because we only met a few days ago. But he’s a nice kid, sure he’s a bit hyperactive but he means well and just wants to help everyone. He’s also smart even though he looks a bit dumb and scary.” I tell her, thinking about our past interactions.

“Thank you, I suppose, you may leave now.” She says before opening the doors and kicking me out of the library with a blast of wind. I go flying into the wall but not hard enough to cause injuries.

“Ouch, what the fuck was that about?” I question aloud. Nobody answers me so I stand up and head back into my room, collapsing onto my bed as whatever just happened swirls around in my head.

“Fuck it, let’s just go to sleep, I can think about it tomorrow,” I mumble, closing my eyes and sinking into a restful sleep.

When my eyes flit open, I can immediately tell something is wrong. I’m not lying down in my bed and am instead sitting up. I’m not wearing the clothes I went to sleep in and the perspective of the room is all wrong. As I glance up, a memory hits me, of sitting in a room waiting for Subaru to wake up as two maids stare me down. Fuck, no, no, no, this can’t be happening. There’s no way I died again, how? I dig my nails into my hand to keep the panic down. What happened? That is all I can ask myself as Subaru stands up on the bed shouting some nonsense. An entire week has gone down the drain, living only in my and Subaru’s memories.

Chapter Text

Subaru still doesn’t seem to realize we died based on the way he’s acting, getting flustered once he notices Ram and Rem standing over him. I go quiet and pull my knees up in the chair, I’d rather not face reality at the moment but it comes creeping through as I watch Subaru slowly realize the situation. I watch as he glances around in confusion, hands shaking, before he too withdraws and places a hand on his head.

“Are you two feeling alright?” Rem asks. She has a look of concern on her face. I try to urge my mouth to move, to say anything, but all I can do is tilt my head. Subaru runs out of the room and Rem follows after him, leaving me alone with Ram.

“Dear guest…are you okay?” She questions.

“...Y-yeah, I just…I’m not feeling well so I’ll be going back to my room.” I tell her, unfolding my legs and slipping out the door. She hesitates, seemingly wanting to follow me, but I rush back to my room before she can say anything. I crawl into the bed and the tears that had been pricking my eyes flow freely.

What happened? I remember going to bed, I didn’t feel any pain so was I murdered in my sleep? Did something happen on Subaru’s end? I knew I had to talk to him but my mind was spinning and all I could think about was the time lost. I felt like I had gotten close to the inhabitants of this mansion but now all our memories were gone, swept away in the wind never to return.

The kinds of thoughts swirl around but one thought keeps me anchored. How must Subaru feel right now? If he died while I was asleep then it must’ve been painful, I mean, he ran out of the room. So I pull myself together and slump out of bed, I spot my clothes lying on a chair nearby. Did I really miss it the first time around? I easily slide into them before opening the door and heading out into the hallway. Nobody is around so I take the time to walk around, knowing Subaru he probably ended up in Beatrice’s library. I don’t know much about her ability or how it works but I rely on gut feeling and open a door down the hallway.

I’m greeted with the smell of old books and dim lighting…oh…and Subaru right in my face. I plant my palm out and thrust him backward, stepping into the library and closing the door behind me.

“W-what was that for!?” He exclaims, stumbling backward and rubbing his nose.

“Sorry, your ugly face was just right there, didn’t expect it is all.” I shrug.

“That’s not an excuse!” He shouts.

“Bleh.” I stick my tongue out at him which leads to him flipping me off. We end up standing there for a second mutually flipping each other off before a voice cuts in.

“If you two aren’t doing anything in here get out! I suppose!” Beatrice huffs, slamming her book closed.

“Sorry.” We both apologize.

“So…why are you in here?” Subaru eventually asks after a moment of silence.

“I wanted to check in on you, are you okay?” I ask him.

“About as okay as I can be in a situation like this…but I’ll be fine.” He mutters.

“Great, then let’s go. You kind of ran off back there, and I’m sure Emilia is looking for you,” I tell him, grabbing his arm and dragging him toward the door.

“Hmph, good riddance.” I hear Beatrice say behind us. The door opens into an intense sunlight that makes me cover my eyes, and the door slams shut behind us. As I get used to the light I watch Subaru approach Emilia.

“Ah! There you are. I was worried about you!” Emilia rushes over to him, her eyes glancing over his entire body for injuries. I leisurely make my way over to them as they converse, only to hear Subaru flirting with Emilia. I would usually find such a thing cute, but I was not in the mood for it.

“Ew, gross, stop it.” I smack him on the head.

“Hey! I’m still injured!” He shouts at me.

“You are not! You ran around just fine, I'm more injured than you are.” I scoff, lifting my shirt to show him the scar.

“Huh? You’re injured?” Emilia’s worried eyes bore into Subaru.

“Uhhh, nope! I mean all my mana was drained, I think I’m still a bit low on blood, and my mind feels like it’s been run over by a truck and beaten with a stick, but other than that I’m great.” He smiles.

“Okay, phew, I was worried you were-huh!? That doesn’t sound great!” She frets.

“He’ll walk it off…probably,” I tell her, patting him harshly on the back.

“If you keep doing that I might keel over and die.” He snarks, but the quick reply makes us both freeze up awkwardly.

“Ahhh, good morning everyone! Though, isn’t it a bit early to be this enthusiastic.” Puck makes himself known from the recesses of Emilia’s hair.

“Morning Puck!” Subaru happily greets the spirit.

“I really have to thank the two of you for the other day. Tell me something I can do for you, " The spirit replies sleepily.

“Then I want to pet your fur whenever I want!” Subaru quickly sends out his request.

“Tsk!” The noise involuntarily leaves my mouth.

“Heh, seems someone is a bit jealous.” Subaru teases.

“Hey, cat thing, can you tell me what a Gate is?” I ask him. Puck seems to take offense to the name but I’m petty as hell right now and I shrug off the glare.

“I suppose I can, I must tell you the both of you make horrible requests.” Puck answers.

“I know, this stupid bitch over here started it,” I say, pointing my thumb at Subaru.

“Right then, a gate is basically something that all living beings have to regulate their mana. The gate is what allows you to cast magic. The gate allows mana to pass through your body and be stored. If you don’t have a fully-opened gate then you probably won’t be able to cast magic. Other people have defective gates which make it so they can’t release mana, you have a defective gate like that which is why I’m surprised you asked, didn’t your family tell you about this?” Puck finishes his explanation.

“Uhm, no, what about my gate makes it defective?” I ask him.

“Similar to Reinhard, you bring in mana but can’t release it, you don’t bring in as much mana as him though so you have a lot of time before it completely stores up and you burst. If you want to know how to release it naturally I would ask Reinhard, the reason spirits like me don’t want to come near you is because you would suck up all our mana which would kill us if we ran out.” Puck tells us.

“Ooooh, that makes sense, but wait, if everyone has a gate then does that mean I can use magic!?” Subaru asks excitedly.

“I can teach you later, but for now you should probably get dressed.” Puck states, causing Subaru to look down at his clothing.

“I’ll go with him, see you all in a bit!” I wave goodbye to Emilia and drag Subaru inside and to his room. While he gets changed into his tracksuit I decide that now is the best time to talk about what happened.

“Do you know how we died?” I start with a question.

“Nope, I was asleep.” He answers.

“Right, so we woke up here after dying a mysterious death. Luckily it seems we’re not in front of that stand again.” I muse.

“I think the save point updated, but still, a week? We lost all that time…” He trails off.

“It’s fine, let’s just do the same stuff as last time and get it all back while finding out what killed us, we can do it.” I try to encourage him, but I’m not really feeling it myself so we’re both left to stew in the quiet of our minds.

A few minutes later we’re in the dining room and Subaru is making his request to Roswaal again. I try, I try my hardest to try and keep everything exactly the same. Obviously, there will be small differences, but I try to keep the path the same, I can see Subaru trying as well. But things ended up changing and now I was sitting outside the damn bathroom as Subaru took a bath.

To get to this point we have to retrace my steps, instead of showing us around or altering clothing Ram had us assist her with work for the entire day, and at the end, she suggested we take a bath, I took one first and then Subaru went in so now I’m waiting out here. I hear the sound of footsteps coming from down the hall and look up to see Roswaal and Ram coming toward me.

“You guys here to take a bath?” I ask them.

“Yes, Sir. Roswaal will be heading in while I wait out here.” Ram promptly replies.

“You’re welcome to jooooin me.” Roswaal offers.

“Oh, I just took one so I’m fine.” I hurriedly deny.

“You dare to turn down Sir. Roswaal?” Ram glares at me. Sheesh, she can be really scary when it comes to Roswaal.

“Nope, I’ll just, uhm, head in first then.” I squeak, walking into the bathroom with all my clothes on.

“What are you doing? Weren’t you waiting outside?” Subaru asks me when I sit down near him. I took off my shoes and dipped my feet in the water, the steam in the bath and the water obscured everything so luckily I didn’t have to see anybody naked today.

“Roswaal’s coming in and asked me to join him, I wanted to say no but I’m terrified of Ram when it comes to Roswaal so here I am,” I tell him, sticking my hand in and swirling the water a bit.

“Correct! So may I joooooin you?” Roswaal suddenly appears behind Subaru, I won’t admit to him scaring the absolute shit out of me though I can tell Subaru saw me flinch.

“Nope, no way.” Subaru immediately denies him.

“Aw.” Roswaal pouts.

“Though I say that this place is your property, right? So just hop in if you want.” Subaru grumbles.

“That may be…but if everything I own and pay for is my property, then wouldn’t that make you, my staff, my property as well?” I understand the point he’s trying to make completely, but it’s dampened by the scene in front of me as he says it. Roswaal leans down and places his hand seductively on Subaru’s chin, keeping in mind they’re both naked. My jaw opens as wide as it possibly can because this is honestly insane, in fact, I think I can even see Subaru blushing a little. Though he hurriedly recovers and bites Roswaal’s hand, backing away from him.

“Don’t ever say a word about this to anyone.” Subaru manages to grit out, aiming his words toward me. I’ve already broken down into hysterics and even Roswaal is chuckling as he watches me.

“I wanted to aaaaaask you two, how are you getting along with my adoooorable maids?” Roswaal asks after everyone’s calmed down a bit.

“Hm, I think I’m a bit closer to Ram than Rem, we haven’t really talked much,” Subaru answers the question honestly. I take a bit longer to think, I had noticed that this time around the duo of maids were much…colder. They didn’t joke around as much, Ram seemed to be warming up to us but Rem seemed to watch us. After a bit of time, I answer the same as Subaru, it’s best to keep my suspicions to myself for now.

After a bit of conversation we head to exit the bath leaving Roswaal still in there, I remind Subaru that Ram is still out there and have him put on a towel before he leaves. When we step out Ram is waiting with towels and clothes for Roswaal.

“Wait, before you two go, are you doing anything the rest of the night?” Ram suddenly asks us as Subaru puts his clothes on.

“No, I was planning to go to bed,” I reply, Subaru nodding his head beside me.

“Then wait in Barusu’s room together, I’ll meet you there in a bit.” She tells us. We leave in confusion, heading over to Subaru’s room to wait.

“What do you think she wants?” Subaru questions me.

“No idea, I hope she doesn’t want to beat me up for rejecting Roswaal at first, she would totally do that.” I fret.

“What would I have to do with that?” Subaru asks.

“Thank you for waiting.” A sudden voice cuts in, scaring the crap out of me again. It turns out Ram wanted to teach us to read and write, her explanations about why were quite rude but I could feel the good intentions behind the action. We copy down a few of the glyphs while Subaru and Ram have a back-and-forth, I occasionally add in a few licks myself. An hour in the conversation stops as we finish copying, we turn back to find Ram asleep on the bed.

“Ah! That’s not fair, we do all this work and she’s sleeping.” Subaru whines.

“She probably had a lot of work today too, and she helped teach us, so be more grateful.” I scold him.

“Not fair, it’s starting to seem like you prefer Ram to me.” He pouts.

“You just figured it out?” I deadpan.

The next day is spent doing more chores, and gaining more wounds on my hand as Subaru messes up. I eventually took away all the sharp objects from him to keep the injuries from piling up. Throughout the day I can feel Rem watching us, but her eyes…don’t feel kind. They feel wary and resentful almost, but I don’t understand why she would feel that way. It seems like Subaru almost notices it, but Ram deflects, reasoning it’s because he needs a haircut and offering Rem to take care of it. I watch the two more carefully after that exchange.

During the next few days, I took care of the regular chores just like the time before. We ended up getting paired off with Subaru going with Rem more while I followed Ram about. It was nice to relax and do menial chores for those few days, Ram still came in every night to help us with our words, but sadly those times didn’t last for very long as the day we died was soon upon us. Subaru heads to the village again and manages to get bit by the dog again.

That night instead of Ram coming to teach us new words, it’s Emilia. Seeing the blushing Subaru I decide to take my leave and quickly ditch Subaru, I bet he’ll ask her out on a date again. The thought brings a smile to my face as I open the door to my room…and am met with the library again.

“Hello Beatrice, is there something you want?” I ask the girl who is currently sitting on a chair and glaring daggers at me.

“Hmph, I suppose.” She answers.

“Well?” I prompt.

“I wanted to know what you make of that man, I suppose.” She questions. Out of all things to be a constant I didn’t expect it to be Beatrice asking me about Subaru. I can see the curious and perhaps even fond glint in her as she asks, despite her trying her best to glare at me.

“Where to start, he’s an idiot of course, and he gets into verbal spars with people who could easily beat him into the ground. But he’s kind and never hesitates to help someone in need or try to fight back against evil.” I tell her with a soft smile on my face.

“Hm, that is good, now leave, in fact.” She huffs, turning away from me. I take the chance to exit the library and enter my room again, the night is long and it’s only just started, but I’m happy to have that interaction again.

Staying awake in this world is honestly pretty boring, I’m used to all-nighters so I don’t feel the familiar pull of sleep, but there’s absolutely nothing to do. I can’t use my phone here, and I can’t read any of the books yet either. So I’m stuck twiddling my thumbs like an idiot. It must’ve been pretty late when I felt a stinging in my throat like I just threw up. But that couldn’t be right, I wasn’t getting sick or something, right?

I’m pulled from my thoughts by a thump outside my room, I leave only to catch Subaru heading upstairs, the stinging feeling in my throat having just returned. I follow him up cautiously, looking this way and that just in case. When I get upstairs safe and sound I heave a sigh of relief only for it to turn into a gag as I watch Subaru go flying past me.

Pain. That’s the best explanation for what I feel. Utter pain. My arm isn’t attached to me anymore and I can feel the blood soaking my chest as I fall to my knees. I hear an intense scream of pain but I can’t even begin to think if it’s coming from me or Subaru. I don’t even know if my internal organs are still there or if they’re spilling out on the floor. I’m lying on my stomach now and I can see the bones and pieces of flesh jutting out of my severed arm. My vision fades, taste, touch, smell, they all leave me one by one. The last to go is hearing, because of that I’m able to make out the subtle sound of chains before everything fades away.

Chapter Text

“Huff…huff.” I wake up with a jolt and immediately reach up to where my arm was…is? I can feel it hanging there but the pain I had just felt hasn’t gone away, it’s still there, clinging. I rub my hand up and down my arm, clenching and unclenching to ensure it’s really there. I barely even notice Subaru screaming over my relief that my arm is still there. Looking up, I can see Rem and Ram huddled in the corner of the room, obviously frightened.

“Ah, sorry for scaring you. Good morning!” Subaru suddenly switches tones, delivering a cheerful good morning to the duo. I stare at him blankly as he does a small spiel, standing up on the bed to apologize and introduce himself to the two. They don’t seem to take it very well, leaving the room without a word.

“That could’ve gone better.” He sighs.

“...Yeah,” I reply. I don’t have any energy to think of something clever to say back to him. I just want to sleep…and never wake up, or disappear, or anything so I don’t have to experience that pain again.

“We should probably talk about what happened, luckily I know the perfect place to follow me.” Subaru energetically hops out of bed. I can tell he’s faking his enthusiasm, probably even more than normal since my emotions tend to go the opposite direction when under stress.

“...Let me get dressed first,” I tell him after a minute. I don’t want to talk about it but I suppose it would be better if we did, but I’d rather do it in clothes. That’s how I found myself in the library a few minutes later watching Subaru pace around and rant about an attacker on the mansion.

“If you keep pacing around like that feel free to get blown away, I suppose,” Beatrice says.

“Oops, sorry. Walking in circles helps me think, though. Could you let me do it for a bit longer?” Subaru begs the girl.

“Just sit down already, I have some theories of my own and if you keep bothering Beatrice we won’t get let back in,” I tell him, grabbing his shoulders and forcing him to sit down.

“Theories?” Subaru questions.

“I thought about what you said, you told me that you felt tired and sick. And when you went out into the hall that’s when you got attacked. I’m willing to bet that whoever attacked you and the sick feeling were two different things.” I explain.

“Wait…what?” He replies incredulously, putting a hand on his chin to think.

“You died in your sleep the first night but if you felt a pain like that you would’ve woken up for sure, same with me. And if the sickness was caused by the person that attacked you, why would they kill you when you were presumably already dying?” I lay out my thoughts.

“That…makes a lot of sense actually, you’re a genius!” Subaru darts up and grabs my shoulders, shaking me back and forth in his excitement.

“No, the only reason I thought this far was because I have a suspicion as to who attacked you.” I kick him away from me before he can rattle my head off my shoulders.

“Really?! Who!?” He exclaims.

“I think it might’ve…potentially…been Rem,” I tell him slowly, watching his features turn from excitement to shock and disbelief.

“No, there’s no way.” He adamantly denies it.

“Subaru…the way she had been acting was really suspicious, and not only that but who would attack this mansion while Roswaal was here. In fact, the most suspicious people here are me and you.” I explain patiently.

“...Let’s just gather information for now. When Roswaal gives us our reward, let’s ask to stay here as guests,” Subaru suggests. I can tell he doesn’t believe me, and it hurts a bit, but it makes sense as well. My theory isn’t a hundred percent accurate, mostly based on her behavior, which hasn’t been consistent so far. But I can’t help the nagging feeling that something was different last time.

“Then you two shall be leaving now, I suppose.” Beatrice snaps closed her book to address us.

“That would be correct, thanks for letting us in here Beatrice.” Subaru thanks the girl and tries to pat her head, getting a small blast of wind to the gut as a response. We ended up discussing a lot of sensitive things in front of Beatrice and yet she didn’t even seem to bat an eye.

“Did you even hear what we were talking about?” I ask her.

“I heard bits and pieces, I suppose. But I have no interest in whatever you two are conversing about, in fact.” She huffs.

“So rude, I know you must have a secret interest in me, just a tiny little bit.” Subaru has recovered and immediately begins teasing Beatrice again.

“Get out! Your hands have stopped shaking and he has stopped picking at his skin so both of you out! I only let you stay because you two were too nervous to be in front of anyone else, in fact!” Beatrice shouts. I’m completely stunned, I didn’t even notice that I was picking at my skin. It’s a nervous habit I’ve had since childhood, but I’ve gotten better at hiding it, I’m surprised she noticed.

“See, you really do care!” Subaru grins at her.

“If you aren’t out in five seconds you will get a blast to the face, in fact.” She threatens. I hurriedly grab Subaru and rush out of the library, waving at Beatrice as I run through the door. Due to the speed at which I rushed out I’m completely flashbanged by the damn Sun.

“Holy fuck!” I shout, letting go of Subaru to put my hands over my eyes in a desperate attempt to block the Sun.

“Ah, are you alright?” A soft voice asks.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” I respond, opening my eyes slowly as tears gather in the corners. It turns out to be Emilia who asked the question, she’s standing in front of me looking worried. I turn to the side to find Subaru on the floor face-down.

“Whoops, were you asking him or me?” I question Emilia.

“It was a question for both of you.” She chuckles. Subaru lets out a groan of pain as he gets up which reminds me of the sudden pain I now have in my nose, great.

“Why the fuck do my eyes hurt so bad?” He questions.

“Welcome to light sensitivity buddy, get used to it.” I clap him on the shoulder as he glares at me.

“Morning everyone!” Puck makes a timely appearance again.

“Morning.” Subaru, Emilia, and I greet the spirit.

“I really got to thank you guys for protecting Lia the other day,” Puck tells us. Once again Subaru asks to be able to pet Puck’s fur whenever he wants. This leaves me thinking about what to ask, I mean I don’t really know what more there is to ask of a spirit.

“Could you ask me again later, I don’t have the brain power for this right now,” I tell him. The tiny spirit gives me a small thumbs-up in response.

“What have you two been doing all morning anyway? I got a report that Subaru woke up screaming but when I went to find you both you were gone.” Emilia says.

“We went to Beatrice’s library for a bit,” Subaru tells her.

“Wow, she let you in just like that?” Emilia questioned in amazement.

“Nah, Subaru’s just really good at finding her library. She acts all pissed off about it but I think Beatrice secretly likes him a bit or else she wouldn’t have agreed to let him stay.” I chuckle thinking back on the memories of her asking me about Subaru.

“You think so? I knew she was just acting tough.” Subaru grins.

“I wouldn’t go rushing in there trying to hug her or anything, you’ll get kicked out in a heartbeat.” I easily shoot him down.

“How’d you know what I was thinking?” He smirks.

“It’s written all over your face darling,” I reply.

“Only the one I love can call me darling and you are certainly not that person.” He argues back.

“Pffft-hahahahaha.” Suddenly, we both turn at the sound of someone breaking into laughter.

“Sorry, sorry, hahaha, you guys are just too funny together. You really do have a good relationship.” Emilia smiles at us.

“Wow, a smile like that could sell for a million bucks,” Subaru says. I would have to agree, I know a beautiful smile when I see one and that would have people falling for her every which way. Speaking of…I turn to see Subaru’s starstruck expression while he’s staring at her.

“Miss Emilia and dear guests, Lord Roswaal has returned.” Rem and Ram had silently approached us while talking.

“Right, let’s go.” Emilia takes the lead and we promptly follow her inside. The meal turns out just like the last two times, the only difference this time is that Subaru has instead asked for us to remain as guests instead of working at the mansion. Subaru and I decide to head separate ways for the day and discuss things in his room before going to bed.

For most of the day I try to stay as out of the way as possible, I make some small conversation with Emilia and Puck. Treat Rem and Ram politely, I don’t see a closeness happening such as the last few times, but I make sure to watch their behavior closely to see if anything is different. I even found Beatrice’s library on accident once, but she kicked me out before I could do anything. At the end of the day, I quietly open the door to Subaru’s room and sit down next to him, noticing he’s writing in a notebook.

“So…did you find anything out?” I whisper in his ear.

“Agh!” He screams, jumping about ten feet in the air.

“Hahahaha, I thought you heard me come in.” I wheeze between laughs.

“I didn’t now stop laughing, asshole.” He mutters the last part under his breath.

“I heard that.” I tease, flicking his forehead.

“Some tea for the both of you.” Ram sets a teapot and two cups down on the table. This time both Subaru and I jump.

“What is with you guys? Are you all out to scare the shit out of me?” Subaru grumbles.

“If there is nothing else I will be taking my leave.” Ram bows and starts heading toward the door.

“You can be a bit more familiar, I won’t hold it against you.” Subaru tries, but Ram just closes the door without another word. I feel a bit of an ache in my chest, I had considered the maid a good friend before, her brand of humor was a bit similar to mine and despite not being good at chores she was great at assisting me with them.

“Let’s face it, we’re just guests this time around, we don’t need to push it too hard with them.” I try to comfort Subaru, he looks a bit sad but he quickly brushes it away with a happy facial expression.

“It’s fine, we can’t win them all. Right then, let’s discuss.” Subaru tells me all about his day, and the one thing we can both agree on is that we barely got any information.

“I was planning on going to Beatrice tomorrow to ask her about the feeling of weakness, maybe she can tell me something,” Subaru says. It’s the best idea we have, so that night I go to bed not looking forward to doing nothing all day tomorrow. The chores were hard but at least it was something.

The next night Subaru tells me that the weakness he felt was a curse from a shaman and that it basically worked like a mana drain. That would explain why I didn’t feel the effects, I assume that despite our pain being connected our mana probably wasn’t. I didn’t pass out the first time when Beatrice drained him of it either.

“I guess we should work on figuring out who cursed you then.” I summarize. Our conversation ends with a knock on the door, and Ram soon lets herself in. She had offered to help us with our letters again after Subaru pestered her, I wasn’t keen on learning at the moment but Subaru had been ecstatic at the chance to get closer to her.

“I see you’ve been practicing.” She says, nodding at the piece of paper with repeated letters and phrases on it.

“Mhm, I can read simple children’s tales now.” He brags. I give him a blank stare, is that really something he should be bragging about?

“Is that really something you should be bragging about?” Ram says what I’m thinking without hesitation.

“Hey! I’m proud of this, but the stories are really interesting, maybe I should make some stories from my homeland into books, oooh, a good one would be “The Red Ogre Who Cried.” Subaru blabbers excitedly. I notice Ram takes a slight pause at the title, her expression showing both interest and apprehension.

“I’ve never heard that one, can you tell it?” I ask Subaru. Despite being a reader I never really picked up any children’s tales books, and the ones I did know were few and far between. I settle on the floor with my back leaning up against the bed, Ram is sitting on the bed, and Subaru is in front of us on a chair.

The story goes that two ogres, a red and a blue one, used to be good friends. The red ogre was an extrovert and wanted to make friends with the people in the village, but they were too afraid of him. The blue ogre decided to help his friend and hatched a plan to make a fuss in the village and have the red ogre chase him off. It worked and the villagers loved the red ogre, but as time passed the blue ogre no longer visited. The red ogre went to the blue ogre's house and read a letter that was left on the door. It turns out the blue ogre had left to go on a journey because if he was seen with the red ogre the villagers might turn on him. The red ogre cried as he read his friend’s letter, not knowing if he’d ever see him again.

“Yeesh, that’s a children’s story?” I question once the story ends.

“It is very sad.” Ram agrees.

“I guess so, but I also find it quite endearing.” Subaru smiles.

“All the characters in it are stupid,” Ram says.

“I agree, couldn’t there have been a better plan, one where the both of them get a happy ending?” The more I think about it the more the story annoys me.

“Haha, I guess you guys are right, that’s why I both love and hate this story. The blue ogre is kind and willing to sacrifice everything for his friend, but he doesn’t get anything out of it in the end which is stupid. I think you should get the just rewards for doing the work.” Subaru explains.

“Hm, I think the red ogre is worse, he dragged the blue ogre into his petty desires, he got everything he wanted while the blue ogre got nothing.” Ram replies.

“So negative! What do you think they should have done?” Subaru questions Ram.

“The red ogre should have cut off his horns to be with the villagers before the blue ogre couldn’t bear to watch, that would put an end to the tragedy,” Ram responds stoically.

“Uhm, I feel like that’d be even darker for a children’s story.” I point out.

“Which of the two ogres would you want to be friends with?” Ram suddenly asks.

“Hmm, probably both of them, I don’t think either is a bad person.” Subaru grins.

“What about you?” Ram turns to me. I take a moment to think of my answer, the self-sacrificial blue ogre or the red ogre who wants everything.

“I’d pick neither, it’s not like I know much about either of them as a person. Also, having one friend who thinks sacrificing themselves is better than hanging out, or another friend who makes it all about them without even realizing, are both annoying.” I reply. She seems to take both of our answers in stride. I yawn tiredly, standing up and stretching. Ram has moved from the bed to stand by the window so I graciously hop into the bed and curl up under the covers.

“I’m going to sleep here tonight,” I tell Subaru, closing my eyes.

“What? You can’t just-ugh never mind.” He doesn’t get to finish his thought as I let out a fake snore to cut him off. I slowly drift off to the light chatter of Ram and Subaru as they talk about which story he likes the most. Despite everything that’s happened these past few days, I go to sleep with a small smile on my face.

Chapter Text

“...ik…rik…Erik!” I’m awoken by someone roughly shoving my shoulder and calling out my name.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I question Subaru, opening my eyes blearily.

“Let’s go, I have to talk about the plan.” He says excitedly. Plan? What the hell is he talking about? I roll over in confusion and give him a hard stare.

“I have everything planned out, we’ll leave the mansion this morning and pick a spot and watch it from afar to make sure the intruder isn’t hanging around.” He explains enthusiastically.

“What?!” I exclaim. That idea is absolutely horrible, one of the worst I’ve ever heard. I glare at him this time and the shock of it all sends me straightening up in bed to grab onto his shoulders, all thoughts of tiredness cleared from my mind.

“Subaru, that is the worst idea ever.” I make sure to tell him.

“Wait, wait. It’s fine. I’ll bring precautions in case we get attacked, " He tries to explain.

“That is not what this is about. What I’m talking about is the fact that I’m almost sure it’s Rem and watching the fucking mansion from afar will only serve to make us suspicious, we could easily get attacked for that!” I try to shove the information through his thick skull but I can tell he won’t listen to me when his expression hardens.

“You can’t really think that. Rem hasn’t been anything but nice to us.” He states. But his eyes glance away, not meeting mine.

“I don’t think she’s a bad person but we’re strangers hanging around her sister and employer, watching the mansion is a bad idea,” I emphasize again.

“And what if there is an intruder!? I can’t let them all die!” He says harshly, slapping my hands off his shoulders. I understand what he’s saying, I truly do. But he has to know something is up with Rem, he’s just denying the facts and choosing to tell me that he doesn’t believe me.

“I get it, but what about us!? I don’t want to keep dying like this.” I let out an uncontrollable sob and turned away to wipe the tears of frustration.

“...Please can you help me with this?” He begs. I turn back to see his pained expression, I’m so close to reaching out and grabbing his outstretched hand and agreeing. But I can’t, each time I have to die, to watch him die, it gets worse and worse. And now he’s choosing to do something stupid that’ll result in another foolish death, I can’t agree.

“No, I’ll leave the mansion with you, but I’m leaving for real. I’ll go find a job and buy a house or something,” I tell him, slapping his hand away. I can see the pain and frustration on his face, but I ignore him and leave the room to pack…I made this choice…so why does it hurt so much?

A few hours later, we informed the residents of the mansion that we were leaving. We’re currently standing at the door, our stuff packed and ready to go. I still haven’t said a word to Subaru, and the atmosphere between us is awkward. The others can probably tell, but they’re ignoring it as they say their goodbyes.

“Be careful out there you two,” Emilia says, hugging the both of us.

“Yeeees, I don’t want to hear word that our guests are dead in the forest the next day.” Roswaal jokes. That man still gives me the creeps.

“We hope you travel safe, sirs.” Ram and Rem bow politely.

“Thanks for letting us stay here,” I reply, nodding my head graciously.

“Yeah, it’s been great. Make sure you take care of yourself Emilia, Roswaal…I don’t really know what to say, and Rem, I trust you with all the chores…Ram, good luck in life.” Subaru says to each of them in turn.

“I feel like he is insulting us sister,” Ram whispers to Rem. With all the goodbyes properly said, we head out the doors, walking along and watching as the waving hands of the inhabitants fade into the distance. As we walk through a path with the forest surrounding us, we reach a point where Subaru suddenly stops.

“...I’m going now.” He states, turning to head off into the forest. I watch him leave, noticing the way he slightly turns his head as if to watch if I’ll follow him. But I don’t. I leave once he’s out of sight, walking down the road further and further away. I keep walking and only when the sun is about to set do I take a break. Sitting under a tree and grabbing some water out of the pack on my back.

That’s when the tears start flowing. I don’t know why I’m crying, I just am. Large, uncontrollable sobs wrack my body as I wrap my arms around me for some sort of safety. Crying under a tree in the forest is probably a new low but it's not like I can help it.

What am I doing? I’m running off into a place I don’t know anything about. Leaving behind my only friend just because he wants to help people? It doesn’t matter if he’s wrong or if what he’s doing is stupid, I shouldn’t leave him just because I’m scared of dying. He’s my friend for fucks sake! I can yell at him later about it, and we can discuss things later, but he needs me and I’m leaving him alone.

That train of thought is enough to stop my meltdown under the tree. I stand up and wipe my face. I take off running back in the direction I came from, my feet pounding against the ground as I search for the place Subaru went to. My eyes search the trees until…there! I dive through the trees and into the forest. The path I’m taking turns steep as I climb a hill.

The sunset has turned the entire forest a bright red, I can see it clearly as I reach the top of the hill. I also see Subaru, just as he gets attacked, a Morningstar ripping through the trees and embedding itself on the cliff above his head. I can feel a sting on my cheek and watch as he falls backward. I hurriedly duck behind a tree before the attacker sees me.

Subaru should be fine…right? I think he had some sort of rope on; it must have been part of his precautions. I clamp a hand on my mouth to cover my breathing and sneakily head over to a different part of the cliff, glancing down. I can spot Subaru as he runs through the forest. I also see a way down to him, but it involves a lot of climbing.

So that’s how I found myself scrabbling down the side of a cliff, trying not to fall off and die. About halfway down I ended up slip-sliding my way to the bottom, my hands were a bit scraped but I take pride in having no other injuries. I start running off in the direction I saw Subaru heading in, and it’s not long before I reach him.

He’s standing before a cliff with his jacket spread out in front of him, he’s yelling at the attacker to hit him, which is definitely not something I would have done but to each their own. I can only watch from the side as the Morningstar flits out and lands in the jacket, throwing Subaru back into the cliff. My back stings a bit but it’s not as bad as it could’ve been.

“Subaru!” I rush over, calling out to him.

“What are you-? Never mind.” He quickly changes focus to grab onto the chain of the Morningstar.

“I’ve been wanting to see your face for a while now.” He smirks with a false confidence, a mask for his true fear. The chain gives way a bit, before completely stopping in place, showing that whoever is on the other end is strong enough to wield it. As the chain slowly goes lax, I can only watch sadly as the person who steps into the clearing, reveals herself to be Rem.

Even though I expected it, it still hurts. Rem was kind to us the first time around. She showed us how to do things, and I’m sure she and Subaru had a close bond for a while. I turn to see his face crumpled up in pain, though significantly less shocked than I thought he would be. He probably had a feeling already.

“Sigh, I wanted to do this quicker, before anyone realized.” She huffs.

“Rem…why?” Subaru questions.

“Don’t worry, if neither of you resist I will make your deaths painless.” She states.

“Uhm, no thanks I’d rather not die,” I tell her, nudging Subaru, but he’s rooted to the spot.

“Please, tell me why.” He begs her.

“If I see someone suspicious I must eliminate them.” She states simply.

“Did you really trust me that little?” He asks her.

“Yes.” She replies.

“What about Ram?” He demands.

“I will finish this before my sister knows anything happened.” She answers, stalking ever closer. I’m shaking Subaru now, trying to get him to leave, but he’s still standing there as Rem approaches. When she gets within an arm's length, he grabs out his phone and uses the camera to flash her. He reaches out and pushes her over, grabbing my arm and pulling me behind him as we run.

“Thanks for coming back for me.” He manages between gasps.

“No, I shouldn’t have left you in the first place, even if it was a stupid plan,” I tell him.

“It really was a stupid plan wasn’t it.” He chuckles darkly. We continue running through the forest, trying to escape our attacker. I would’ve tried to hold her off if I thought it’d do any good, but despite my apparent combat skills, I doubt it would do anything. I hear a slight sound, barely discernible over our gasping as we run, but I don’t figure out what it is until it’s too late.

My world is turning, that’s all I can describe it as. One second I’m running along with Subaru, the next I’m crashing toward the ground, my hand getting wrenched out of Subaru’s as I roll. I lift my head from the ground, not quite understanding what happened, until I see my leg, in front of me.

“...Huh?” I can hear Subaru screaming beside me, the pain only just starting to register. My leg. My fucking leg is on the ground in front of me. That’s not right…is it?

“Huh? What? Why is it…?” I can barely focus on anything as I slowly turn my head to my leg which is now missing. Blood is pooling on the ground, bits of flesh are hanging off unevenly, and I can see the bone sticking out. I can spot Rem healing Subaru’s leg from the corner of my eye before she turns to me.

“I only need one of you alive for information.” She states coldly. I can feel the pain from my leg, it’s absolutely unbearable, but the shock of it all is preventing my brain from reacting to it.

“What a shame, if you had used this you could’ve run farther.” She states, tossing a knife over her shoulder.

“Now, answer me this, are you part of one of the factions of Miss Emilia’s rivals for the throne?” She asks him.

“No, I support Emilia with all my heart!” Subaru shouts. His efforts are rewarded with a Morningstar to the chest, I can feel my ribs breaking.

“Who hired you? What were the conditions?” She asks.

“Nobody, I only came here to see Emilia’s smile!” Subaru yells out. The Morningstar obliterates his arm, I can feel the blood splash on my cheek as my arm is crushed. My vision is fading now, my breathing is labored. I’ve lost too much blood and I don’t even get the luxury of getting healed. What a joke.

“Are you with the Witch’s Cult?” She questions with pure hatred in her voice.

“No! I have no idea what you’re talking about!” He shouts desperately.

“Lies! All lies! I can smell the witch’s scent on you both! It makes me sick to watch you talk with my sister like that, even though she is only pretending.” She spits, her voice laced with venom. Pretending? Ram? The words don’t quite connect in my brain, I had my suspicions about Rem and I assumed Ram knew about Rem. But I didn’t think she was pretending. Was she? I-I can’t remember.

“Why…I don’t hurt myself as much when I cut things, I can read and write a few things now, I can even read those fairy tales, because of you two!” Subaru cries out, his voice is full of sadness. Blood is clogging my throat, I can’t speak or make any noises even if I wanted to. It’s a miracle I’m even still alive.

“I have no memory of that.” Rem states.

“Why don’t you remember?! It’s not fair, everyone keeps forgetting and we keep getting left behind…” Subaru sobs, “It’s not fai-!” His shout is cut off as something cuts his throat. I can feel it slice through my flesh and I feel the blood as it spills from my throat. I also saw, I saw the person who made the killing blow. It wasn’t Rem, but another person who emerged from the shadows, the person who I considered a friend, Ram.

Chapter Text

The next few minutes after I returned to that damned chair are a complete blank. I can vaguely remember Subaru screaming, and I also caught sight of the two maids, if I were present in the situation at all, I might’ve jumped, or screamed, but I was completely dead to the world.

“Erik, are you alright? Both you and Subaru seem not to be doing well.” A gentle touch brings me back to myself. I find myself looking up into the eyes of a concerned Emilia. She has her hand on my shoulder and I can see Subaru sitting on the bed with his knees up, appearing ready to cry.

“Emilia…we…” It seemed like Subaru wanted to say something, but he went quiet after a few moments, bringing his head back down.

“Can we have some time alone, please?” I managed to get the sentence out, but my voice was dry and raspy. Emilia glances between the two of us, worried, but after some deliberation she leaves the room, closing the door softly behind her.

“...What do we do now?” Subaru hesitantly asks me.

“Fuck if I know. I just want it all to stop.” I huff, tears pricking at my eyes. When I glance up I see Subaru with furrowed brows looking like he’s about to cry. Crap. I didn’t mean to say that.

“Sorry, I’m just on edge right now…I hate it. Them not remembering, it’s not fair that we have to go through all this shit.” I try my best to apologize, but it comes out flimsy at best.

“...We only died three times before, what if we don’t come back again?” Subaru asks.

“I don’t know, I really don’t. I don’t want to try anymore if I’m being honest. Every route we take leads to pain, and it hurts to feel like that and to see you feel like that.” It feels like every time we think it’s over, it gets worse again. Over and over we’ve died and had nobody remember what we did, small conversations, little inside jokes, all wiped away never to return.

“I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.” Subaru apologizes.

“...Thanks, I know you wanted to see the best in Rem, it sucks that it ended up this way.” I stumble awkwardly out of my chair and climb onto the bed, patting Subaru’s back.

“No, it really is my fault, I saw it after you said it but I still wanted to believe and foolishly ignored your warnings and got us both killed, I’m so stupid.” He spits. The self-deprecating words feel more honest than the half-baked confidence.

“You’re an idiot, but you’re not stupid, there’s a difference. Being an idiot means blurting things out in the wrong places or making mistakes. But you’re not stupid, you’re the smartest person I know and you try your best to make everyone feel better.” I softly scold him. He glances back at me with a small smile on his face, but his eyes are tired.

“Maybe, " He says softly. Before we can continue the conversation, the door opens, and Roswaal steps in. He only talked to us about a few things, making sure we were okay and comfortable, before exiting the room and leaving us in silence.

“What should we do now?” Subaru sighs.

“No idea, I don’t know where to start.” I fall back onto the bed in despair.

“Hmph, well aren’t you two pathetic, in fact.” A bratty voice calls out.

“Beatrice? What are you doing here?” Subaru questions. I turn my eyes over to look at our new guest, Beatrice is standing by the door with her arms crossed and a look of annoyance written all over her face.

“Bubby asked me to check on you two, he and the brat thought I did something to you two.” She makes a slight tsk noise with her tongue.

“I mean, you kind of did. You left Subaru passed out on the floor,” I remark.

“That is beside the point! Ahem, anyways, you both look worse for wear, the smell has gotten worse too, I suppose.” She says while walking toward us. At her words, both Subaru and I quickly smell around our bodies, looking at each other in confusion when we finish. I don’t smell anything bad enough to make Beatrice scrunch up her face like that.

“Not that kind of smell, idiots! The smell of the witch.” Beatrice clarifies.

“By witch…do you mean the Witch of Envy?” Subaru asks. The conversation so far has left me completely confused.

“What? Who’s that?” I pull on Subaru’s sleeve to ask him.

“I’ll tell you later, this is why you should’ve done the homework.” He smirks.

“Of course I mean her, it seems she favors you two in some way, in fact,” Beatrice answers.

“Ehhhh, that doesn’t sound good.” I groan.

“Well then, if you have nothing interesting to say I’ll be leaving now, I suppose.” Beatrice makes to leave the room but is stopped when Subaru puts his hand out, shouting “Wait!”

“You feel bad for hurting me earlier, right?” Subaru questions.

“Hmph, not in the least bit.” She huffs.

“I’ll tell Puck.” Subaru immediately switches to snitching.

“...Ahem, I feel a bit sorry for you, I suppose.” Beatrice easily changes her mind.

“Then, if you want to make it up to me could you do me a favor?” He asks her. I have no idea what he has planned this time, I simply watch the situation with interest.

“What is it?” Beatrice asks, clearly intrigued.

“Protect the both of us until the fifth morning after today, that’s all I ask.” He says.

“...I can’t have any harm coming to this place, it’s important to me,” Beatrice replies seriously.

“We don’t plan to do anything bad, we just want to make sure everything stays safe,” Subaru tells her.

“...Fine then, hold out your hand.” She says while walking up to him. I watch as she grasps his hand and closes her eyes. She says a line about being bound to the contract and then lets go.

“I will honor this contract and grant you this idiotic favor, I’ll have you know that if you do anything to break it then he will die, in fact.” She adds, shooting me a glare.

“I won’t do anything, I swear.” I hold up my hands in mock surrender.

“Good, don’t tell Bubby, or I’ll kill you, I suppose,” Beatrice says as she gets up to leave.

“Hey, Beatrice…thank you,” Subaru says sincerely, he has a smile on his face as two small tear streaks run down his face.

“Hmph, it’s only natural.” She answers, though there’s a slight reddening of her ears that tells me it means a lot to her. After she’s gone I turn my curious eyes to Subaru, it seems he can tell I have a lot of questions as he lets out a big sigh.

“What do you want to know first?” He asks.

“Where did that come from, the whole contract thing?” I question him.

“I don’t know, I just kind of thought of it? I thought maybe we wouldn’t die this way.” He answers.

“Right, and what about the whole witch thing?” I continue my questioning.

“I read about that one in a storybook, she’s known as the most terrifying witch in the land. I guess she terrorized a lot of people a long time ago or something, I think she’s sealed up now or something, that’s what the book said.” Subaru explains.

“Hoh, interesting,” I mumble.

“Isn’t it?! Though it seems people don’t like talking about her much.” Subaru exclaims.

“Well, guess there isn’t much to do but laze around all day.” I yawn, stretching out and flopping back onto the bed.

“I guess, Roswaal did say we could take a break for a few days.” Subaru muses.

“Mhm, so c’mon, let’s rest and play some games or something, I’m staying in your room tonight.” The words are said lightly, but it’s clear neither of us wants to be alone. We’re both masking most of our feelings, trying to keep a bit of peace, trying to keep the other from completely breaking down and leaving the other out to dry.

That night neither of us gets any sleep, I don’t want to get plagued by nightmares and Subaru is too scared that we might get attacked while he’s asleep. The next day is spent with us tiredly trying to play different games but neither of us did that well. I also found out that some of Subaru’s nervous habits include scratching at his hands and biting at his lips, which unfortunately count as injuries leaving me to deal with the pain as well.

The next night we manage to get a bit of sleep, I get a few nightmares that leave me waking up in a sweat, but Subaru seems fine for the most part. The next day is spent with Subaru trying to teach me different letters, it’s interesting but my nightmares having kept me up half the night end up making me lose concentration half-way through.

That night, I’m awoken from my sleep by Subaru making noises beside me. We both must’ve fallen asleep. I groggily open my eyes and notice him start to thrash around. He must be having nightmares or something, I surprisingly didn’t have one tonight.

“Shit.” I curse. He’s started crying out and trying to pat his head to make him feel better, but it’s not working. While I’m panicking, the door opens and when Rem and Ram enter I almost have a heart attack. They glance at me when I flinch, but don’t say anything as they each grab onto one of Subaru’s hands. A few minutes later he calms down and they move to leave.

“Er, thanks,” I say awkwardly. It still hurts to look at them, but they haven’t done anything yet and it’s nice to thank people for their help. They both nod their heads and then leave the room. I try to keep from nodding off again, but my eyes slowly start squeezing shut and I fall into darkness.

The next day I decide to keep quiet about what I saw, I don’t want to freak Subaru out by telling him that Ram and Rem came into the room while he was sleeping. This day was spent with Subaru trying to get me to do more exercises which I thankfully managed to avoid.

“Tonight…we shouldn’t go to sleep,” Subaru says anxiously. It’s about sunset and he’s been anxiously pacing the room for the past half hour.

“I know, don’t worry, we can make it.” I give him a helpful clap on the shoulder. But I’m also feeling anxious, who knows where the shaman curse came from, and who knows if Rem will still decide to attack us, either way, we’ll know tomorrow morning.

“Wake up!” Someone shouts and I quickly spring up. I find myself not in the room I fell asleep in, but in the library where Beatrice spends her time. Next to me is a still sleeping Subaru and in front of me is an angry Beatrice.

“Stop sleeping, in fact!” She shouts again, this time she brings her foot up and kicks Subaru in the face. Unfortunately, this means I feel it as well.

“Hey! Did you have to do that!” I complained, rubbing my face where she kicked Subaru.

“I don’t see why you’re complaining, I kicked him.” She huffs, pointing to Subaru.

“I can feel it too,” I grumble, but my complaints go unheard as Subaru is finally awake and yelling about, asking why he’s in here.

“It is the designated time and so I brought you both in here, I didn’t want to stay in that room a second longer,” Beatrice answers him.

“Hm, thanks I guess. Hey, this is kind of a weird question but did either of you hold my hand while asleep?” Subaru asks us.

“Why would I do something like that?” Beatrice replies.

“Uhm…no,” I respond. I don’t know whether to tell him that it was Ram and Rem or not, he’s been avoiding them like the plague these past few days. When I told him it was Ram that had killed him he felt even worse and I don’t want to send him down a confused spiral.

“Here’s a book, be quiet and wait, I suppose,” Beatrice says, throwing a book straight at Subaru’s head.

“Oooh, can you read it to me?” I ask him.

“Fine, but I’m teaching you the letters along the way so you get better at this.” He grumbles. We head off to a corner of the library where he reads the book out loud. It’s not very interesting, I’m sure it’s pretty light compared to some of the other books Beatrice has in here, but it does the trick in keeping me entertained for a bit.

“Hmm, I’m being summoned, I suppose,” Beatrice mumbles. Subaru and I both turn our heads toward her in confusion. We watch as she places her hand out toward the door and the library gets all wavy.

“Eh? What’s happening?” I ask her, scrambling up.

“I’ve been summoned, stay here or come with me, I don’t care either way but you’ll be safe in here, I suppose,” Beatrice tells us, then she walks through the door, slamming it closed behind her.

“We should probably follow her,” Subaru says. He takes a step toward the door and I notice his hands shaking, but I don’t say anything as he flings it open. We both take in the glow of the morning sunlight at our own pace. We’ve never made it this far before, it was nice to know it’s even possible.

“You guys? Where have you been this morning…whatever, come with me.” Emilia is to our right in the hallway. She grabs onto Subaru’s hand and I can just make out her expression, one of pain and grief, something bad must’ve happened.

“Emilia? What’s going on?” Subaru questions. I tap him on the shoulder to tell him to drop it. Emilia brings us to a room with its door cracked open. Before we can even ask what’s inside, I hear a heart-wrenching scream. When I creep over to glance inside, I spot Ram kneeling beside a bed, holding a not-moving Rem’s hand.

“This…how could this?” I question in shock. Subaru blindly stumbles into the room, hand reaching out toward her. Before he can touch her I quickly drag him back, we don’t have any right to do that right now.

“She died of weakness, like she just fell asleep, seemed like a curse more than a spell. Do either of you have any idea what happened?” Roswaal suddenly asks. I can feel myself freeze, he’s suspecting us. Even though we barely had any contact with Rem through these past few days he’s suspecting us and we can’t do a thing.

“If either of you know anything, please tell us,” Emilia begs. I wanted to answer her, to tell her that something was causing this, but what information did we have? All we know is that someone is doing it but not who.

“We-” Subaru tries to say something, but his words are cut off by a blast of wind slicing his face. I feel a drop of blood roll down my cheek.

“I don’t have time for excuses! If you know something say it!” Ram roars and another blast of wind is sent flying at us, and this one is deadly. I flinch backward, ready to take the blow, but it never comes as Beatrice steps out in front of us.

“These two spent the night with me in the Forbidden Library, I’m sure that’s enough to take them off the suspect list-” Beatrice tries to defend us, but is interrupted by Roswaal summoning different colored balls over his shoulders.

“I’m afraid we have no other suspects in this situation.” He states.

“Hah?” Beatrice cries out, a pressure forming around her.

“Argh! Let me through! You have information! I know you know something! Help my sister, you bastards!” Ram shouts. As the situation gets more tense, Emilia steps in front of us.

“I don’t think they would do such a thing, but…Subaru, if you can help Rem, please do.” Emilia says, turning to Subaru. This…this is insane. Does she even understand what she’s asking him to do? Nobody in this room does, they don’t see the pain that we have to go through every time we die.

I can see it in Subaru’s eyes, that determination to try and help the people he cares about. But I can’t let him do it, I don’t want him to do it. I don’t want to feel that pain and I don’t want Subaru to choose to feel that pain.

“Sorry, but I disagree,” I reply coldly, grabbing Subaru’s hand and dashing out of the room. I hear an explosion behind us and Subaru’s protests but I keep running, I run and I run and I run. Dragging Subaru out of the mansion and into the forest, I keep running until I feel a pull on my arm and am forced to stop. Hah, funny, this seems to be the place we died last time.

“Let me go!” I shout at Subaru through the tears that are spilling from my eyes.

“No! What are you doing!?” He yells back.

“I could see it! You were going to do something! I couldn’t…I can’t…do something like that again. I can’t watch you die and feel the pain all over again.” I sob.

“But we’re just running away! We can do something about it, together!” Subaru argues.

“Together!? I don’t think you understand…maybe you can handle dying like this if you have someone by your side, but I can’t! I’m barely holding on! I know I’m fucking pathetic but I also know that I can’t take it like you do!” I shoot back.

“What the fuck are you talking about!? Of course, I understand! I’m just pretending, I’m trying my damn best to help everyone around me but I’m scared. I’m scared of dying, I’m scared when nobody remembers anything, and I’m scared when I see you die! But how are we supposed to leave them? Ram is suffering just like you and I are, the only difference is now she doesn’t have her sister to support her.” He replies.

His words leave me speechless, I can’t do anything but fall to my knees and sob as Subaru embraces me. I must’ve fallen asleep because the next thing I know I can see the sunset and Subaru is talking to someone. I open my eyes to see Beatrice standing there.

“What’s going on?” I mumbled, sitting up.

“Hmph, due to your quick escape, I had to go looking for you. I don’t know what made you run like that, but we all have our reasons, I suppose.” Beatrice huffs.

“...Sorry, I guess I was just being selfish,” I mutter.

“It doesn’t matter much to me, but I will continue protecting you both so I suggest you come with me to escape this domain,” Beatrice responds, holding out her hand to Subaru and me. I see him take her hand for a second, before pausing.

“...Erik, do you know who held my hands that night?” He asks me.

“It was Ram and Rem, you were having a nightmare and they came in and helped you calm down,” I tell him. I can see the soft smile that lights up his face when I say that. But before I can comment on it, I hear the swirling of winds.

“I finally found you, I won’t let either of you get away! Don’t think you can protect them out here Beatrice!” Ram growls. She looks menacing, her hair astray and wind swirling around her, giving us a fierce glare.

“You won’t lay a hand on them.” Beatrice steps in front of us.

“You know, I know that I’m a selfish person. I thought that maybe it would all be okay if Beatrice protected us. But I now know that things in life are never that easy. I’m really sorry for what I’m about to do but know this, I love you guys.” Subaru turns to me for his last few words, I can see what he’s about to do. I can feel it in my heart, but I can’t stop him.

I watch in slow motion as he runs toward the cliff behind us, I watch as he jumps and his body goes over. I feel the moment he hits whatever is down there, my body exploding with pain for a few seconds before everything goes dark.

“Ah, you really are an idiot.” Is the last thing I say.

Chapter Text

“Erik! How did things go on your end?” I hear a voice shouting at me. That doesn’t seem right…wasn’t I just…? I opened my eyes, right, I was on the battlefield. I was standing on Redonas Plateau, and dead bodies of humans and demi-humans were scattered around as a fire burned around me.

I was covered in blood and was using a handkerchief to wipe the blood off my daggers. The person approaching me was a young man with his arms wrapped around another man who was stumbling forward, glancing around with a stunned expression.

“What happened to him?” I throw out the question.

“Ah, it was his first time on the battlefield, his whole unit got slain, a demi-human was coming up behind him and he would’ve died if I hadn’t saved him.” The young man states. I had met Wilhelm a few times before the battle had started, he was about the same age as me, but we didn’t get to talk much seeing as he was placed in a different unit.

“Can you believe the commander? What a fucking dick, no strategy at all, and he got killed just like that,” I say, snapping my fingers, “He just wanted the glory, didn’t think about all the lives he had on his back.” I grumble.

“Hahaha, if you’re going to complain this much, why don’t you just join the enemy side?” Wilhelm chuckles.

“I guess I could, but the Royal Army pays more,” I smirk, rubbing my fingers together in a money-making sign. I was a mercenary for hire. Usually, I would just get hired for individual battles, but the Royal Army had paid a buttload for me to serve in the entire war, so here I was.

“You’re lucky, we can only hope to get glory on the battlefield.” Wilhelm sighs.

“With your swordplay, glory will be easy to come by,” I tell him.

“I guess…I’m satisfied just risking my life like this.” He replies, frowning.

“Blah, you’re such an antisocial person. You should make more friends. If you hang out with someone like me your whole life, you’ll become withdrawn,” I joke.

“I guess you’re right, wouldn’t want to end up like you after all.” He smirks.

“Huh? I know I was making a dig at myself, but did you have to come back swinging like that?” We both chuckle.

“This…what are you two talking about?” The man Wilhelm was supporting seems to have snapped out of his stupor.

“Ah, I know, you should become good friends with your savior Wilhelm over there, make sure he doesn’t become some sort of reclusive hermit,” I tell the newcomer.

“Don’t listen to him, Grimm.” Wilhelm quickly interjects.

“Well, I have a paycheck to receive, so I’ll see you both later.” I wave goodbye before making my way out of the plateau where the army tents are set up. Then, everything goes black.

When I blink open my eyes, I’m sitting in the same chair next to the bed. I blink in confusion a few times. Usually, when I wake up after a death, I have phantom pain, but this time, only the remnants of a strange dream linger in my mind. I scratch the back of my head in confusion and turn to find Rem and Ram standing at the back of the room and staring at Subaru.

“It seems our guests are awake.” Ram states.

“Indeed.” Rem echoes. I glance back at Subaru who is climbing out of bed and stretching, way too casual for someone who just threw himself off a cliff, though I guess I could say the same for myself. Was I already getting used to dying? I quickly pinch myself to dismiss the thought, I don’t think I could ever get used to dying.

“Good morning you two, nice to meet you,” Subaru politely introduces himself, “Do you want to be friends?” Aaaaand there’s the kicker, I rush over to him and drag him away from the two surprised maids.

“Are you crazy?! You can’t just introduce yourself to someone and ask to be friends like that!” I scold him.

“Why not, I mean it.” He replies stubbornly, crossing his arms and pouting.

“Urgh, social customs dictate you should at least hang out with them a bit before asking something like that.” I slap him upside the head, wiping the smug smile off his face. I’m pretty proud of myself for that one until I feel the pain of getting slapped a few seconds later, and that smug grin is back on his face.

“The guests are very active this morning.” Rem states.

“Indeed, the scoundrel and his friend appear to be in a good mood,” Ram says insultingly, how I missed her dry humor.

“Ahem, I heard a small commotion?” Emilia lightly knocks and enters the room.

“Oh, Emilia! It’s great to see you, just one smile from you has already healed my soul.” Subaru spurts out a cringy line. I bring my hand up to smack him again but reluctantly put it back down.

“Right, I’m going to go get changed before I have to listen to any more of this cringy bullshit.” I throw my hands up with a sigh as I squeeze past Emilia. A few minutes later, I’m changed and back in Subaru’s room, Emilia, Rem, and Ram have all left. Subaru is changed and prostrating himself on the ground in front of me.

“One more time,” I tell him.

“Do I have to?” He whines.

“Yes,” I answer sharply.

“...Fine, my name is Natsuki Subaru, and I apologize to Erik for jumping off the cliff like that and putting him through mental stress, I promise never to do it again.” He sighs.

“Good, then let’s discuss a bit, I have a little think and I’m pretty sure I figured out who our resident shaman might be,” I tell Subaru, smirking.

“Really!?” He exclaims, springing up.

“Yep,” I answer, pushing him back toward the bed and away from my face, “You were always the one dying from the curse so it couldn’t have been something I did. And that last day, Rem was the one who died from the curse instead, so what’s the task you and Rem have been doing together?” I quickly point at Subaru for the answer.

“We’ve been going to the village!” He exclaims, raising his hand.

“Ding ding! Correct! So it must be something from the village, and one thing I noticed happened every single time you went to the village, you got a bite from something.” I explain, pacing the room.

“Wait, you think that bald dog is the shaman?” He asks incredulously.

“Only one way to find out, we get the dog to bite you again and double-check with Beatrice,” I reply, shrugging.

“Then it’s a plan, we work for the mansion again, build up relationships, and figure out if the dog is a shaman.” Subaru jumps up, raising his fist in the air.

“Alright!” I shout, trying to match his enthusiasm. We go through the works, asking Roswaal if we could work at the mansion. We separated again for the work day. Subaru had been practicing his knife skills, so I didn’t get any miscellaneous injuries while I worked. While working, I got to talk with Ram a bit; I did my best to get close to her, and I think it worked, though I can’t tell if she’s acting or not. We ended up together again about halfway through the day when we both collapsed on the grass outside for our breaks.

“You guys have been working hard, keep it up.” Puck floats over and throws us a thumbs-up. Emilia is talking with the lesser spirits under the gazebo while we rest.

“Hey Puck, what kind of magic does Emilia use?” Subaru asks the floating spirit.

“Hm, well, Emilia isn’t exactly a magic user per se, she’s a spirit arts user.” Puck declares.

“Eh, there’s a difference?” I ask curiously.

“Mhm, magic users use the mana from within their body to cast spells, whereas spirit arts users gather mana from the atmosphere,” Puck explains.

“Oh, I see.” We both hum in acknowledgment.

“Oh, right! Since I have one of those gate things, can I use magic?!” Subaru suddenly shouts excitedly.

“Huuuh? No fair!” I whine.

“Haha, I could find out your attribute if you want.” Puck offers. Subaru hurriedly agrees and Puck puts his tail to Subaru’s head for a few seconds.

“Done! Your attribute is…Yin magic!” Puck reveals.

“Oh? That’s quite rare.” Emilia muses, she’s finished with the lesser spirits and is heading our way.

“Really? What is it anyway?” Subaru asks.

“There are the four basic attributes of Wind, Water, Earth, and Fire, along with two extra attributes, Yin and Yang,” Puck explains.

“Yin is mostly used for things like blocking vision and sound and slowing people down,” Emilia adds helpfully.

“Ah, it’s just debuffs.” Subaru sighs in disappointment.

“Don’t go sighing like that, at least some of us get to use magic,” I grumble.

“Yeah right! I’ve heard like ten people praise your physique saying you’d be good at fighting or some bullshit.” Subaru argues back.

“We don’t even know ten people! And a good physique can be easily improved with practice; I can’t do shit with magic!” The argument quickly devolves into grappling on the ground as Emilia and Puck chuckle beside us.

“Would you guys like to see a spell? I can do Shamac for you.” Puck offers once we’ve calmed down.

“Hell yeah!” Subaru easily agrees.

“What’s it do?” I ask him.

“It’s a blinding spell,” Puck says simply.

“Shamac!” Puck states happily, one second, I can see the bright and happy colors of the garden, and the next, I’m in complete darkness. It’s a bit disconcerting, to say the least. It even reminds me of death a bit, but I force myself to stay still and remember it’s just a spell. When it was released, I could see the garden again, but Subaru, who was right beside me, had wandered off somewhere.

“And that was Shamac! Are you okay?” Puck asks worriedly, I turn around and spot Subaru, his hands are shaking and he has a pale face, but when turns back to Emilia and Puck, he has a strained smile on his face.

“Yep, I’m fine! Since I use Yin magic, does that mean I can use Shamac too?” Subaru quickly deflects the conversation. Emilia and Puck share a look as everyone wanders back to where I’m resting.

“Hm, it depends on your training, but I could let you try it!” Puck smirks. A few minutes later we’re standing in the courtyard a distance away from the mansion. For our safety Puck asks Emilia and I to stand away from Subaru. I follow Emilia until we’re so far away we can barely see the two.

“Is this necessary?” I ask her.

“It’s just in case.” Emilia smiles, trying to quell my worries.

“Knowing those two, something is definitely going wrong.” I sigh. A bit later I’m proven right as a giant cloud of black stuff engulfs the entire courtyard, almost reaching where Emilia and I stand.

“Basically, you’ve never used your gate before, and it ended up exploding all the mana inside,” Puck explains. Subaru is resting in the gazebo, glaring daggers at Puck.

“Haha, it was great from where I stood,” I smirk.

“I truly despise you.” He tells me, but there’s no heat behind his words.

“You should take a break for the rest of the day, you’ve used up all your mana.” Emilia glances worriedly at Subaru.

“What! No way, I have to work.” He says with determination. I can feel his thoughts from here, he probably thinks if he doesn’t work he might be killed by Rem and Ram again. What a useless thought, taking one day off wouldn’t hurt if he played his cards right.

“I can just take over your work, it’s fine.” I try to reassure him.

“Are you sure?” He questions hesitantly.

“Hm, if you really want to work, I have a way,” Emilia tells us.

“Really?” Subaru asks, turning to her.

“Mhm, it’s called a bocco fruit, if you eat it, you can regain a bit of strength for your gate,” Emilia explains.

“Ah, could I use it?” Subaru asks. He takes it after Emilia nods her head.

“Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to cause trouble.” He apologizes shyly.

“Hmph, you say sorry too much, it’s better to hear one thank you than a ton of sorry’s.” Emilia pouts.

“I guess.” Subaru smiles. With that, we go back to work, and at the end of the day, I collapse into bed, with one day over and done with, we still need to find out more information. But despite everything that’s happened, I feel a lot better about this loop.

Chapter Text

The next Subaru and I decided we needed more information, so we went to the one place that could provide some. It’s still impressive to see Subaru find Beatrice’s library so accurately, I’ve only gotten lucky a few times, and apparently, for the rest of the mansion, it’s even lower than that.

“We need info on shamans! Like how to get rid of a curse and stuff like that.” Subaru immediately crowds Beatrice and I pull him back before that frown on her face gets any bigger, the last thing we need is to get kicked out.

“Why do you want to know something like that?” She questions.

“Research?” I try. She nods her head at my flimsy excuse so I guess it worked.

“Very well, there is no way to undo a shaman’s curse once it has been activated, I suppose.” She answers.

“Eh!?” Subaru and I both exclaim.

“I wasn’t finished!” She shouts, slamming her book shut. The both of us quickly kneel on the ground in forgiveness.

“Ahem, before a curse is activated they are just simple spells, easy enough to undo,” Beatrice smirks proudly.

“And we admire you for that great library spirit.” Subaru flatters her.

“If you came here just to flatter me, get out, I suppose, I don’t need you both in here stinking the place up with the witch’s scent.” She chastises him. Her words catch my attention, visions of when Beatrice and Rem said those words flash through my mind. I stop myself from biting my lips at the unpleasant memories.

“People have said that before, who exactly is this witch?” I ask her.

“Hm, in this world the word witch only refers to one person,” Beatrice says, turning solemn.

“The Witch of Envy…right?” Subaru asks. We’ve had a conversation about this before, but it doesn’t hurt to get more information about it.

“Correct, the Witch of Envy, Satella…a long time ago she devoured the six other witches who embodied the deadly sins and drained half of the world dry, she’s the worst, in fact,” Beatrice explains. Throughout her explanation only one word caught my attention, Satella, isn’t that what Emilia called herself the first time we met?

“It is said she was starved for love and doesn’t understand human language, she has a body that never dies or withers, and that despite the efforts by a dragon, a hero, a sage, and a rogue, they were unable to destroy her flesh, only sealing her in the end. And it is said…that her body is that of a silver-haired half-elf.” Beatrice continues her explanation.

“...” Her story leaves Subaru and me silent. She sounds horrible, but the only thing I can think about…is why Emilia would ever call herself that.

“What would it take for someone to borrow her name?” Subaru asks.

“They would have to be insane, nothing less, I suppose.” Beatrice curtly replies. Ah, I get it. She really must have been trying to test us, by using the witch’s name like that she wanted to distance us from her. Anyone who heard that would go running the other way, but of course, neither Subaru nor I knew anything about this at the time.

When we left Beatrice’s library, it was barely cracking morning. We had gotten up just before the sun rose to talk to her so that it wouldn’t interfere with our work. With our questions answered, we got ready for a day of work. Though our schedules barely interacted, I still saw Subaru around a few times, and he looked…tired.

I was exhausted myself, while I was trying my best to keep up a positive outlook, dying so many times and having to figure out where everything went wrong was taking its toll on both of us. I was quieter than before, cracking fewer jokes, and Subaru was just too much. He was always doing extra, trying to overcompensate.

I was actually starting to get worried about him, he was pushing himself too hard. He wanted to get everything right, everything perfect. I finally managed to corner him in a bathroom, he was splashing water on his face and when I entered his face flipped from a grimace to a bright smile in an instant.

“Cut that shit out, you’re not fooling anyone.” I scold him. His face drops again, this time he doesn’t do anything to hide the exhaustion.

“I just have to make sure everything goes well.” He tries to justify.

“Everything is going well, you don’t have to take everything on your shoulders! I’m right here and so are other people in this mansion. If you start acting like everything is up to you you’ll make me feel insignificant.” I huff.

“But…” He tries to argue but I cut him off.

“But nothing! Take a damn break you fool! We’re both exhausted but we have a plan and it’s going well!” I shout at him, striding forward to get in his face.

“...I’ll think about it.” He replies eventually, then he pushes past me to exit the bathroom. I knew he would pull some shit like this so I had my backup plan wait outside the door, she was more than happy to help.

I secretly watched Subaru with his head resting on Emilia’s lap, I couldn’t hear their conversation from where I was hiding in the doorway, but I could see the tears that rolled down his face as he tried to hide them. I only turned away when I heard footsteps behind me.

“Truly a lucky man, is that what you’re thinking?” Ram asks.

“Nope! What a rare miss from you…I could’ve sworn you could read minds with how accurate your insults usually are. Sad to say but I’m not the kind of man to feel jealous about something like this, besides, I put her up to it.” I respond. Ram makes a rare surprised expression at my words.

“You truly seem to care about Barusu.” She muses.

“Of course! He’s one of the only people who would be able to understand me here. Plus he’s not a bad kid, he takes care of me more than I take care of him, to be honest, I just wanted to make him feel better.” I admit sheepishly.

“Hm, you both truly are pathetic, to have someone like that take of you is shameful, but I suppose he isn’t all that bad.” Ram insults both of us in one fell swoop, but her last words are said with a small smile.

“Haha, I suppose so, Subaru really has a way of making people warm up to him so watch out.” I chuckle, I grab onto Ram’s hand and start pulling her away from the door.

“Let’s go finish up the day's work so he can rest,” I tell her, she appears annoyed by this but still lets me drag her along. A few hours later Subaru is awake and dragging me through a random door in the mansion into Beatrice’s library for the second time that day.

“Do you have to treat this place so casually, in fact!” Beatrice huffs.

“Ahhh, I can’t believe I did that, crying into my crush's legs like a baby, all my pride as a man is gone,” Subaru complains.

“Hah, if that’s what you’re worried about the most then you won’t be happy to know about the people who saw you doing it,” I smirk at him.

“Huh? What! Who else saw!?” He demands.

“Not telling.” I stick my tongue out at him and run away as he begins to chase me.

“If you two are going to goof around I will throw you out!” Beatrice shouts.

“Ah, sorry Beako, but we’re tight, aren’t we? I promise I won’t do it again so don’t throw us out.” Subaru pleads.

“Hmph, fine, I guess it’s alr-wait what did you call me!” She shrieks.

“Beako, it’s a nickname, don’t you like it?” Subaru asks innocently. I watch as Beatrice stares into her eyes, her face changing from annoyance to gradual acceptance.

“Just tell me what you want and get out, I suppose.” She turns away from him in resignation.

“Great, you said you could find curses before activation, so I wanted to ask, how exactly are curses placed?” Subaru questions her.

“There is one rule for curses that cannot be broken, they must have physical contact with the target of the curse, in fact,” Beatrice reveals. Subaru and I glance at each other, it seems my theory is becoming more and more tangible.

“Thanks Beako! I’ll come looking for you soon!” Subaru thanks Beatrice and then drags me out of the library. With our questions answered we both head off to bed after an exhausting day. The next morning the entire lap pillow exchange has been spread around the mansion.

We spend the entire day working and while in the kitchen Subaru asks if we can go to the village today. The twins think it over for a bit before agreeing, I thought it was just going to be Rem and Subaru so imagine my surprise when Ram drags me along as well on their outing.

“Uhm, is this going to be alright? I don’t do very well around people.” I try to make excuses on the way but she isn’t any of it.

“The only way to cure that is by being around people, the more hands the better on this supply run so shut it.” She snaps.

“You wound me.” I sigh. When we get to the village we gather up the supplies as Subaru interacts with the villagers. They seem to really like him, his outgoing personality attracts them as he converses with them. He even brings me to meet the children of the village, though I keep my distance, I’ve never really gotten along with children.

I watch Subaru go off with a young girl with blue hair, I assume he’s going to get bit by the dog again while I help Ram and Rem with the last of the supplies. A bit of pain on my hand soon confirms it and a fresh dog bite forms on my hand. By the time we bring everything back it’s sundown and as we’re resting in front of the mansion Roswaal soon appears before us.

“It’s gooood to see you’re all back. I’ve received a troublesome message so I’ll be going out tonight, I don’t think I’ll be home soon so I’ll leave everything up to you two.” Roswaal tells the twin maids.

“Yes sir.” They both bow.

“I hope you two will take good care of Miss Emilia.” Roswaal directs that at us.

“Uhm, sure,” I responded awkwardly.

“Of course!” Subaru replies more enthusiastically. With that, he takes off, flying into the sky in an elaborate display of magic. I’m seething in jealousy and it seems this is something Subaru and I agree on. Though, I don’t remember Roswaal leaving before this loop…interesting. After getting everything inside, Subaru and I make our way to Beatrice’s library, ready to confirm my theory.

“Hey Beako! Good to see you again, sorry to say this but I think I’ve been cursed, could you check?” He asks, rushing up to her.

“Huh? What kind of nonsensical…eh?” She cuts off her ramble as she gets closer to Subaru.

“No way…you really have been cursed, in fact!” She exclaims in surprise.

“I see.” Subaru sighs.

“Once the curse is activated, you’ll die, I suppose,” Beatrice states.

“I know.” Subaru waves her off.

“You don’t seem that afraid of dying.” She remarks suspiciously.

“Hahahahahaha.” I break out into a burst of laughter at her words.

“What’s so funny!” She snaps.

“Nothing…probably just the fact that out of everyone in this world, we’re probably the most afraid of dying,” I answer her.

“Mhm, you must be nuts to think I’m not afraid, it’s to the point where I wish people who say ‘I’d rather die’ actually died before saying it,” Subaru tells her.

“You two are insane, in fact.” Beatrice easily curses us out.

“Can you remove the curse now, we have some stuff to attend to soon.” Subaru looks a bit anxious now.

“If you don’t do it, Puck would be really sad if he died,” I add. My words don’t seem to convince her all that much.

“I mean, Emilia would probably be distressed, which would make Puck distressed as well, right?” I smirk at her. She gnashes her teeth in anger but complies in the end and we watch as a black mist forms over the wound and Beatrice dispels it.

“Right, thanks Beako, let’s go.” He turns to me for the last part, he has a serious expression on his face and I can feel how tense he is just by standing next to him. He cares about those villagers and knowing there’s a dangerous shaman mixed with them probably has him extremely worried right now.

“Hm.” I agree, letting him lead me out of the library. I don’t know how the rest of the night is going to go, but I know he’d rather die than let any harm come to those villagers, which means we might have to suffer some more along the road.

Chapter Text

“We need to go to the village.” Subaru is speaking with urgency in front of the twin maids. He led me out to the front room where we encountered the duo.

“What for?” Ram questions. She seems a bit on edge due to Subaru’s urgency and is standing close to her sister.

“There’s a shaman there, it’s taken the form of a dog and is playing with some kids, I didn’t have any proof before but Beatrice confirmed it.” He explains, holding out his hand to show them the wound. I spot Ram subtly turning her head toward me and I take a step forward to defend him.

“I was there, Beatrice really did confirm the existence of a shaman, if we don’t hurry we have no idea what it could do,” I tell them.

“Look, if you still don’t believe us how about one of you goes with me to the village while the other two stay here and protect Emilia just in case.” Subaru offers. Wait, he’s thinking of going there alone?

“What are you talking about, I’m not letting you do this on your own.” I scold him.

“They won’t trust us otherwise, if we go one on one then everyone will get looked after, I know this village and its residents better than you so it’s better if I go.” He says. I’m more annoyed with him than ever but I know there’s truth to his words. I almost bite my lip but I remember our injuries are shared and snap out of it.

“Fine, but I’m not happy with this, if anything happens to you I’ll kill you myself.” I threaten. He holds his hands up in mock surrender as Ram and Rem watch our exchange.

“Who says we will agree to this.” Ram huffs.

“Look, Roswaal told you to look after the mansion and everything, if Subaru is right then the village is in danger and if everyone dies in the village I’m sure Roswaal won’t be happy, at the very least you lose an easy place to secure supplies from.” I point out. Ram seems to consider this and then glances at her sister.

“Fine, I agree, take Rem with you.” She finally replies. Rem seems a bit worried about this but a look from Ram is all it takes for her to agree.

“Great, then you two stay here and protect Emilia while we check things out.” Subaru smiles. I’m super annoyed with him, especially knowing that he’s going with Rem. She hasn’t done anything in this loop, but it’s hard to forget when someone has killed and tortured you before.

“Is something happening?” A voice questions. We all turn to find Emilia racing down the stairs.

“Potentially, we’re going to go check things out,” Subaru tells her.

“You’re doing something dangerous again, aren’t you.” She pouts.

“A hundred percent, this idiot thinks it’s a great idea to put his life in danger any chance he gets,” I complain, poking his head with every word.

“Hmph, I suppose there’s nothing I can do about it then,” Emilia pouts slightly before running up to Subaru and placing a hand on his chest, “May the blessing of the spirits be with you.” She says softly.

“Eh, ah, what?” A flustered Subaru takes a few steps back.

“It’s a saying that basically means come back safely, okay?” She smiles.

“Mm.” He replies. We all head out the front door and watch as Subaru and Rem start running down the road toward the village.

“...That fool better be alright by the end of this.” I sigh.

“You’re really worried about him, huh,” Emilia says kindly.

“Eh, of course I am! That idiot is not strong at all, he has no idea how to fight and now he’s run off to a potentially dangerous situation and left me here! It’s so frustrating!” I kick the ground to let some of my frustration out, but it doesn’t do much to help.

“I suppose I must check with Beatrice, I can be assured you two will be alright here?” Ram says.

“Ah, yeah, well we’ll probably go inside though,” I mumble.

“Let’s all go to Beatrice together, if something really is happening, it’s better to stay in a group,” Emilia suggests. Ram nods her head and soon we’re all inside the mansion looking for Beatrice’s library.

“In times like these, I usually open every door to find her, only in truly urgent times will Beatrice let us into her library,” Ram explains.

“Hm, if it’s finding her library…I think I could do it.” I tell her.

“Please do, it would make things more…convenient.” She replies.

“Right then, if I think about it, Beatrice would probably want news of what happened, so she’d place her door in an area where she could sneakily open it and listen, therefore!” I turn around and guide the other back to the lobby, opening a door that’s close to where we were talking, but in an area that wasn’t easily visible. When I fling the door open we’re met with a surprised and guilty-looking Beatrice and the rows and rows of shelves filled to the brim with books.

“T-that, I wasn’t listening in…in fact!” She denies it, though her face is quite red.

“So she was listening, even until recently.” I chuckle.

“If you don’t stop I’ll throw you out, I suppose!” She cries out.

“Miss Beatrice, we’re here to get confirmation on the shaman bite.” Emilia interferes before Beatrice can try unloading a spell on us.

“Hmph, that boy had indeed been cursed by a shaman, but I removed the curse before it activated so all is well, in fact.” She explains.

“I see, thank you, Beatrice.” Emilia smiles.

“That is all I need, it seems Barusu was correct, for now, we should wait for some news, tea anybody?” Ram asks.

“Ah, no thank you.” I wasn’t the biggest tea fan and from what I heard about her tea from Subaru, I’d prefer not to have my taste buds obliterated. Emilia also passes on the tea and Beatrice soon kicks us out of the library which leaves us all anxiously waiting on chairs in the front room.

I was fidgeting with my leg when I felt a bit of pain in my upper arm. I let out a small gasp of pain but I kept a straight face so as not to worry Emilia or Ram. That is, until I felt more pain in quick succession all over my body and I could even spot a little bit of blood pouring through my clothes.

“Ah…this might be bad,” I mumble. I felt my head get light as I swayed in my chair.

“Erik? What’s wrong?!” Emilia suddenly rushes over, but it’s too late and I pass out, my body falling to the ground. When I open my eyes again, it’s an unfamiliar ceiling. I would say that’s a bad thing, but considering I could’ve woken up in that chair I’ll take it. I slowly sit myself up, my whole body is still in some pain and I pull up my sleeves to investigate. My arms are covered in scars and bruises that haven’t faded yet.

“Ehh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” I mumble. I glance around the room but nobody else is there with me so I slowly get up and open the front door. It turns out I’ve been taken to the village, no doubt something happened last night and I was dragged here. As soon as I step outside, a worried Ram is waiting for me.

“You’ve got some nerve, passing out last night out of nowhere.” She scolds.

“It's not like it’s something I can help, if you want to blame anyone blame Subaru,” I tell her.

“...What even happened, one moment you were sitting just fine and the next you were on the ground.” She questions.

“Well, something probably happened here, right?” I ask her.

“Indeed, Barusu was correct and the village kids were attacked by Mabeasts, luckily he and my sister were able to save them.” She describes the events of last night.

“And he was pretty wounded, right?” I ask her another question.

“I fail to see what this has to do with…” She starts to say but suddenly trails off and grabs my sleeve, rolling it up.

“Impossible, these are the exact same!?” She exclaims.

“I don’t quite know why but Subaru and I share our injuries, it’s very unfortunate,” I tell her.

“This matter must be investigated, but not now.” She says as the door behind us opens up and Subaru walks out.

“Oh, hey guys!” He exclaims cheerfully.

“Hey, what! You went and got chewed up by something and I had to suffer the consequences!” I shout at him.

“Hey! I have my fair share of scars now too.” He tries to defend.

“Yeah, but I still have the bruises!” I take my arm away from Ram to show him the bruises running up my arms. Subaru winces upon seeing them.

“Okay, you’re right, my bad.” He apologizes.

“Well, at least tell me you have good news.” I sigh. When I look up both Ram and Subaru are looking away guiltily.

“The thing about that is…apparently I’ve been cursed again and Beatrice can’t remove it this time soooo…” He trails off.

“Agh! You’re going to kill me! Literally! What happened to not getting injured, you buffoon!” I grab onto his collar and start shaking him back and forth.

“Wait, wait! Not all is lost, when Beatrice was telling me earlier, she said that if we kill the mabeasts that did this to me then we’ll be in the clear.” Subaru explains.

“Great, we’re going then.” I start dragging him toward the forest.

“There is no need for that, the foolish maid has already gone ahead, in fact.” A small voice cuts me off mid-drag.

“That, what are you talking about?” Subaru asks Beatrice.

“Beatrice…please tell me that Rem didn’t go into the forest alone.” Ram seems completely emotionless, delivering her words with a cold face. But I can see the twitch of her fingers and the furrowing of her brows. Beatrice’s lack of an answer is all Ram needs to start rushing to the forest. But before she can get very far Subaru grabs onto her arm.

“Wait up!” He calls out.

“I cannot afford to wait, if you continue to grab my arm I will not be so gentle.” She says harshly.

“Just…if you consider us your allies wait a second, if we rush in there with no plan we’ll die, I mean, do you even know where she is?” He questions her.

“Yes, I can use my clairvoyance to find her.” Ram states.

“Clairvoyance?” Subaru asks.

“I can see through the eyes of the bugs and animals in the forest,” Ram explains.

“Ah, I get it, so we can use that to find Rem. Okay, here’s the plan, we head into the forest and find Rem using your clairvoyance, we beat the mabeasts that will kill us and rescue Rem, then everyone gets out alive and happy.” It’s a pretty simple plan but it’s not like we have many options right now.

“This…are you two offering to go with me?” She asks.

“Of course, I’ll slow you down probably but I’m not letting Rem risk her life for me like that,” Subaru states.

“And I’m not letting this idiot over here get more hurt than necessary,” I add.

“Fine, but I’m not as strong as my sister, I do not have a horn but I can use Wind magic.” She says, a confident smile on her face. I feel like I missed something big, what’s this talk about horns?

“Right then, let’s go!” Subaru shouts, grabbing both of our hands and dragging us toward the forest. Before we leave we’re intercepted by a man who gives Subaru his sword and the children of the village who stuff a bunch of random things in his pockets. When we finally make it to the forest with Ram leading us, I grab the sword out of Subaru’s hands immediately.

“Woah, this is pretty nice,” I murmur, waving it around a bit.

“Wah, hey! He gave that for me to use!” Subaru whines.

“Mhm, and do you even know how to use it?” I ask him.

“Do you?” He shoots back.

“Nah, but I could probably figure it out better than you can.” I easily end the argument and get to keep the sword. While we’re walking, Ram suddenly stops in the middle of the path.

“Alright, I’ll be using my abilities now.” She states, closing her eyes and standing still. A few seconds pass by and her eyebrows furrow.

“It seems something is watching us, up there.” She points to the side where the ground slopes up in a natural hill. Before we can even think a giant dog thing is leaping toward us. Is that what they fought last night? Holy shit that’s terrifying!

The mabeast is closest to Subaru and Ram uses her magic to quickly bisect it, but more surround us. Ram uses her magic again to easily take out the rest and then calmly walks forward.

“Damn, that was so badass.” I marvel.

“Urgh, I got blood on me.” Subaru turns pale as we hurry to catch up to her.

“Hey, so I wanted to ask earlier but what does hornless mean?” He asks Ram. It feels like a sensitive question but I’m curious myself so I don’t say anything.

“It doesn’t mean much, I’m just a foolish oni who lost her horn, that’s it.” She states.

“Ah, I’ve been meaning to ask but did something happen earlier, I mean, what’s up with this horn stuff?” I question.

“We come from a race called ‘Oni’ A horn is a feature we use to boost our abilities at the cost of feeling bloodlust and losing our senses and reverting to basic instincts,” Ram explains.

“I’m sure you’ll see once we run into Rem,” Subaru says.

“Beyond that, an oni is supposed to have two horns but twins are born with only one significantly weakening their potential, for this reason, twins are usually detested and disposed of, but Rem and I were allowed to live.” Ram reveals. The atmosphere turns a bit solemn with the new information we’ve learned. As we keep walking I can see Subaru seriously thinking about something.

“What is it?” I ask him, bumping his shoulder.

“I was just thinking, you know how we supposedly smell, what if we could use that to lure Rem to us.” He proposes.

“That’s a great idea, but how can we do that?” I question.

“...I have a hypothesis, we haven’t spoken a word of our ability to anyone but considering we smell like the witch after we return, there’s a chance someone gave us this ability and probably doesn’t want us saying anything about it.” He explains.

“Okay? But I told Ram about our pain sharing earlier and nothing happened.” I tell him.

“Let’s just try it, if nothing happens then nothing happens and we continue to search for her.” Subaru shrugs.

“Fine, do what you want.” I sigh.

“Hey, Ram, did you know that Erik and I can-” Before he finishes the sentence the whole world freezes, a cold sweat drips down my neck as I feel…something…touch and gently squeeze my heart. Ah…this is seriously bad. And then, just like that, it goes away.

“Huff, huff, that was seriously freaky, never do that again,” I tell Subaru.

“Agreed.”

“What did you two do? I can smell beasts approaching! We haven’t even found Rem yet!” Ram cries out. Sensing a battle I pull the sword out of its sheath and crowd around Subaru so that he’s between Ram and I.

“If all goes well, she’ll be here soon,” Subaru states.

“How can you be sure?” Ram asks.

“Because if she’s hinting the mabeasts then she’ll follow them to me,” Subaru explains. We don’t have much chance to talk after that as multiple beasts pop out of the surrounding forest. It’s okay, I can do this, just don’t be scared of the giant fucking dogs trying to kill you.

The dogs start rushing at us and Ram immediately takes a few out with her magic, one rushes toward us from my end and I quickly dodge out of the way, kicking it in the side of the head before it reaches Subaru. My kick sends it flying into the ground and I hurriedly use the sword to chop off its head. The sword is a bit dull but it gets the job done, though it’s a bit longer than I would’ve liked it to be.

I watch Ram cut up four more but one gets through her and I’m too far away from it to actually do anything so instead I level out the sword and toss it right at the beast, the sword goes straight through its mouth and out the other side.

“Subaru! The sword!” I shout at him. He spots it and picks it up off the ground as I run over, another beast makes its way through and rushes Subaru who uses the sword to block, I proceed to throw away all my fear and jump on its back, encircling my arms around its neck and jerking it away from Subaru.

“Kill it!” I shout at him. He then grabs the sword and sticks it through the beast's chest, it goes down but so does Ram, who suddenly collapses.

“Ah shit, grab her and run!” I yell at Subaru, the mabeasts surround so I choose an area and charge forward, side-stepping the beast and running my sword along its side, killing it and clearing the way.

“C’mon!” I shout at them. Subaru is holding Ram like a sack of potatoes on his shoulder as we run through the forest. She’s still awake but she ended up using too much mana which led to the current situation. There are three mabeasts on our tail and I’m bringing up the rear with Subaru leading the charge. I’m glancing backward and forward, trying to keep an eye on both the mabeasts and Subaru, when suddenly I look forward and Subaru is gone.

“What!?” I shout in confusion, I glance down and find Subaru and Ram sliding down a cliff.

“Shit, shit, that’s not good,” I mumble. The mabeasts are about to catch up and that’s a pretty fucking big cliff but I have no time to think as I take a running start and leap off the cliff, landing on my feet near where Subaru is falling. I start kicking into overdrive, making my feet run down the slope so I don’t end up falling.

“Sword, take the sword!” I cry out to Subaru. He manages to turn around and reach his arm out mid-fall and I toss him the sword, he manages to catch himself on it by digging it into the side of the cliff right before it drops off. I’m a bit further up and right as it’s about to drop off I make a flying leap and grab onto Subaru where he’s hanging.

“Holy shit that was the scariest thing I’ve ever done I almost had a freaking heart attack.” I breathe out.

“Barusu, can you climb up?” Ram asks.

“No way, I’m holding onto you with one hand and the sword with the other and Erik is clinging onto my middle,” Subaru states.

“Hey! Did you want me to fall to my deaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!” My words turn into a scream as the sword breaks in half and we’re falling toward the ground once more. Not good, from this high up if we hit the ground we’ll turn into meat pancakes. Right when we get close to the ground, a blast of wind breaks the fall, and Subaru and I land safely on the ground, Subaru then rushes to collect Ram who was tossed into the air.

“Nice timing, thanks Ram…Ram?” Subaru suddenly calls out with worry. I brush myself off and stand up, glancing at Ram whose nose is bleeding from the strange.

“Yikes, we’re in a seriously bad position,” I mumble, we’re in a clearing at the bottom of the cliff, surrounded by more mabeasts. Before they can attack, however, someone jumps down from the top of the cliff landing in front of us. With blood on her face, a pink horn jutting out of her head, and a demonic smile, Rem has finally appeared.

“Oh thank goodness you’re here, can you clear a path for us?” Subaru asks Rem. She slowly turns her head around at his words.

“Rem?” He questions again.

“Duck!” I suddenly shout, grabbing onto his shoulder and pulling him down. Her strike just missed us, the spiky Morningstar drags through the cliff above us, showering us with rubble. I notice the half-broken sword on the floor and go to grab it, during that time she strikes again with Subaru barely dodging and getting hit in the arm. While I’m trying to figure out what to do, the mabeasts suddenly attack Rem and she starts fighting with them, giving us a bit of time to think of a plan.

“Let’s sneak away,” I whisper to Subaru. He nods and we start slowly making our way out of the clearing, except Subaru keeps sneaking worried glances back.

“Sigh, if you want to do something just do it,” I tell him. Knowing this idiot he’s probably thinking something like ‘Oh no, we have to save Rem because she’s struggling’ or I don’t know.

“Right then, Rem! Did you know? We can Return-!” The same weird feeling in my heart, though it only lasts a second this time, and then all the mabeasts along with Rem turn to glare at us.

“Aghhhh!” They all roar.

“Run, run, run, run!” I push Subaru along as they start chasing behind us. While we’re running, I catch a bit of movement from Ram, it seems she’s awake.

“T-the horn, it’s the horn that’s making her like this, you have to hit it,” Ram explains.

“...Alright, I got it, I can probably hit her horn but not if I have to protect you two and not if those beasts are still around,” I tell Subaru.

“Got it, you’ll take care of Rem while we lead them away, right?” He confirms.

“Mhm.” I nod. I move away from them, into the bushes to hide, and wait for the beasts to catch up. I wait until the perfect moment and then leap out, cannonballing into Rem and sending us flying into a tree. Some of the beasts look back but Subaru makes a timely yell and the beasts run after him again.

I try to use this opportunity to hit Rem’s horn, but she dodges the strike and kicks me off her, I go flying into a tree but luckily it doesn’t hurt that bad. I hurriedly dodged a strike from her Morningstar that would’ve obliterated my head. Her movements seem more frantic and erratic than they were that night she killed us. This must be because of her horn, right, I could do this.

I dodge a few more strikes aimed at my body and start inching closer, using the sword to deflect a few blows. I can see Rem getting more frustrated by the minute and her swings become wider and more difficult to dodge. I see my chance once one strike misses entirely and I rush up to her, raising the sword to hit her horn when out of the corner of my vision I see the Morningstar making a beeline to my side.

Ah, at that time, she didn’t miss, she sent it out to curve around. I click my tongue in annoyance and sharply bring down the sword on her horn right as the Morningstar barrels into my side, I’m sent flying across the ground and I can feel the pain in my side, but it’s not bad enough to where I can’t stand. I slowly stagger to my feet, keeping a hand over my bleeding side as I approach Rem.

“Nn, w-what happened?” Rem questions. She’s holding a hand to her head as she gets up.

“You went all crazy and I had to snap you out of it, that’s what happened, now hurry up we need to reunite with the other two.” I try to pull her up but the wound in my side cries out in protest.

“Y-you’re injured, and…the other two? Don’t tell me.” She panics.

“Yep, Subaru and Ram are here too, getting chased by mabeasts, so we should probably go now,” I tell her.

“Why did you come? It was supposed to be just me…why am I so pathetic, I can’t do anything, all I do is cause problems.” She sobs.

“Look, I’m not very good at comforting people like this, and right now we really don’t have the time for a pity party, I’ll tell you this though. You are strong, you do all the work at the mansion, and frankly, I’m terrified of you. Yeah you caused some problems by coming here alone but let’s be honest I’m sure Emilia or I would do the same thing for him at this point so let’s not beat ourselves up about it and go help here and now.” I pull on her hand again, this time she lets herself be pulled up in a state of shock.

“I suppose, you are right, let’s go I can smell them.” I nod at Rem’s declaration and run after her, keeping a hand to my side and trying to shrug off the pain. When we reach Ram and Subaru, both of us are about to pass out and I can tell they aren’t doing much better considering they’re surrounded by mabeasts.

“Erik! Take Ram and run!” Subaru shouts, throwing Ram’s body toward me. I barely manage to grab her in time, almost dropping her when I feel a twinge in my side.

“Subaru! What are you doing!?” Rem calls out.

“I’ll distract them for a bit, you guys go get help,” Subaru says.

“Bullshit! Rem, can you still fight?” I ask the maid.

“Yes, a little bit.” She confirms.

“Same with me, can you stand Ram?” I ask her.

“I have recovered enough.” She replies.

“Great, let’s just take these guys out, and then we’ll be done.” There are only five mabeasts around, despite the wound on my side which I’m sure Subaru is feeling as well, I’m confident I can take out at least two. I launch myself at the nearest beast with the broken sword, it lunges for me with its jaws agape but I duck to the ground and slash the sword through its stomach.

Another one comes at me but I stick the sword through its open mouth and swing it around and into a tree. Rem’s already taken out two and I watch as she smashes her Morningstar against the last one, freeing us from the encirclement of mabeasts.

“Huff, huff, we did it!” I cheer, beside me, Rem falls to the ground, exhausted.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think, I can fight anymore.” She pants. Ram runs over and embraces her sister.

“Don’t scare me like that again.” She scolds.

“Okay.” Rem agrees, tears in her eyes.

“Uhm, guys?” Subaru suddenly grabs our attention, and we all turn over to find the bald dog and three more mabeasts with it.

“Shit, you can’t be serious.” I chuckle in disbelief.

“Ram, take Rem and get out of here, you too Erik.” Subaru orders.

“Screw that! I’m staying with you!” I shout at him.

“We will not leave as well, you two have helped my sister and I will not forget this favor.” Ram states.

“Fine, I have an idea but things will get a bit messy.” Subaru smirks. Huh, what’s he talking about? We all get prepared for a fight, including the bald dog it seems as it grows into a massive version of the mabeasts.

“You’ve got to be joking.” I huff.

“Be prepared! Shamac!” Subaru suddenly shouts. A giant blast of black smoke covers the area and I can’t see anymore.

“Erik, the mabeast should be in front of you, run up and stab it!” Subaru yells out. I can’t see shit, but I trust my friend, so I run out blindly and jump with the sword in my hand, stabbing out until I feel it sink into something. I then let go of the sword and drop to the ground, rolling away and out of the cloud. I spot Ram, Rem, and Subaru standing safely outside of the cloud. I’m about to celebrate when the giant mabeast bursts through the cloud and pins down Subaru.

“Subaru!” “Barusu!” We all shout. I can see the mabeast lean down to bite him and that’s when I spot the sword conveniently sticking out of its neck.

“The sword, use the sword!” I cry out. Subaru spots it and grabs it out, sticking it into the beast's mouth and causing it enough pain to release him. I rush over at the moment and drag Subaru away from it. But the beast recovers quickly and soon it’s towering over all of us.

Shit, are we seriously going to die again? After going through all that? This must be some kind of cruel joke the world is playing on us. With no more fighting strength left I screw my eyes shut, waiting for the pain, until I hear a noise.

“Ul Goa!” Is what it says. I feel the heat on my face and open my eyes to find the mabeast engulfed in flames. And there, flying down in front of us, is Roswaal.

“Myyyyyy, myyyyy, you four seem to be in quite the rough state.” He smirks.

“You’re really late, you should’ve been here…since last night,” I tell him bitterly.

“Soooorry about that, Emilia made sure to tell me back at the village, she’s the reason I was able to find you in the first place. Saying stuff like ‘He’s sure to use magic in a pinch so make sure you’re watching from above’...anyway, I truly am grateful.” Roswaal adds sincerity at the end, but still, couldn’t this guy have shown up earlier?

“Subaru!” An excited voice shouts, and suddenly, Rem is vaulting into Subaru. I wince as that makes her slam into our injuries.

“I’m glad you’re happy that I’m alive…but that really hurts,” Subaru complains. A second later I’m feeling lightheaded and can’t keep my consciousness any longer, I pass out right there in the middle of the forest.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

A hard battle had just been fought, most of the Royal Army had been completely slaughtered in an ambush, and if it weren’t for Wilhelm and his squad a ton more people would’ve been wiped out. Though that doesn’t matter much to me as long as I get paid, currently I’m looting some of the dead bodies.

“Do you seriously have to do that?” A voice questions. Speak of the devil and he appears, Wilhelm has a disapproving look on his face as he trots over to me, there’s a woman with him who has long blue hair and piercing yellow eyes, ah, she must be the magic user Roswaal J. Mathers.

“Their dead, what use is it to them? Besides, I’m not taking anything that valuable, just some money.” I reply.

“So this is that mercenary you told me about earlier.” Roswaal chuckles.

“I don’t know what Wilhelm told you but it’s nice to meet you.” I hold out my hand in a friendly manner and Roswaal shakes it.

“He told me you were kind of annoying but still a good person, something along those lines I think, oh, and he also said you two were best friends,” Roswaal adds.

“I did not say that!” Wilhelm shouts.

“Hahahaha, it’s fine, we all know your best friend is Grimm, don’t worry about it. Though I do hope I’m still considered a friend after all we went through on the battlefield.” I smirk.

“Sigh, do what you want,” Wilhelm says, he always has a cold look on his face which makes approaching him hard. But if you know how to talk to Wilhelm he’s truly an easy man to get along with, just talk about swords and he’ll open right up, the man’s a maniac about them.

“I’m heading off now, I should be getting quite the bonus this time.” I chuckle, waving goodbye to Roswaal and Wilhelm I make my way toward where the army is staying. Avoiding the dead bodies along the way.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

When I wake up I’m slightly confused. Was I just having a dream? I couldn’t remember…though all that was blown out of the way by how sore my body was. It feels like I got run over by a truck.

“It seems you are awake.” A calm voice says. When I glance over, I can see Ram sitting in a chair next to the bed.

“Ah, were you watching over me while I slept?” I ask her.

“Indeed, to make sure you didn’t injure yourself more.” She replies. I pull up my shirt slightly to find another scar on my side where I got hit by the Morningstar, as well as more bruises.

“Seriously, I’m going to be in pain for weeks.” I lament.

“Don’t worry, we will make sure to heal you daily to bring the bruises down, this was the best we could do in such a short time,” Ram explains.

“Thanks, I guess, scars are cool anyway,” I smirk. When I turn to smile at Ram she has a pained expression on her face.

“What…is something wrong?” I ask her, thinking the worst.

“I am simply wondering how to go about this, I am not used to…thanking someone…like this.” She hesitates but manages to get the words out.

“You’re thanking me!? Don’t give me a heart attack like that!” I scold.

“Hmph, well, it must be said so…thank you for saving my sister, I truly appreciate it.” She bows her head as a sign of respect, I didn’t expect it from someone like Ram.

“I mean, I’m grateful and all, but shouldn’t you be saying this to Subaru? I’m just along for the ride.” I respond.

“...I thought it was a two-for-one deal and that dealing with you would be easier, plus, my sister is with him now.” She reveals.

“Right, well, I accept your thanks.” I make a show of it by flourishing my hands around.

“Ahem, not only that but…you may also ask one thing of me…nothing perverted though.” She adds on at the end.

“What do you take me for!?” I exclaim.

“You never truly know.” She shrugs.

“One thing…one thing hmm, oh, I know, how about you agree to be my friend,” I tell her.

“Ergh, anything but that.” She replies harshly.

“Wow, I expected it but it still hurt, c’mon, you said you’d agree to one request, please?” I beg.

“...Urgh…fine.” She agrees hesitantly.

“Great!” I yell out.

“It seems you twoooo are getting along quite nicely.” Roswaal is suddenly at the door. I get a strange sense of deja vu looking at his face, weird.

“Master Roswaal, forgive me for not letting you in.” Ram stands up and bows.

“It’s fine, I just wanted to check on ooooour employee to see how he’s doing.” Roswaal smiles.

“I’m doing as good as one can be when they’ve been attacked by giant dogs and are now bruised beyond recognition,” I say, giving him a thumbs up.

“Haha, I must say, you remind me of an old friend I once had…” He suddenly trails off in reminiscence.

“Master Roswaal?” Ram questions.

“Ahem, sorry, I suppose it’s nothing. I just wanted to let you know that later tonight we’ll be having a party to celebrate you two, make sure to join us.” Roswaal informs me, and then he leaves the room with Ram following along behind him. That guy sure is weird, though there is something a bit familiar about him.

The rest of the day goes by slowly, I manage to get out of bed after a while and I get to talk to Subaru who’s doing a bit better than I am. Emilia gave me a big hug and told me she was worried and Rem thanked me for saving her. At the party that night I ate everything I possibly could and we spent the night celebrating. After everything that happened, I think we deserved a little fun.

Chapter Text

It had been about a week since the whole shaman and mabeast disaster and while I was doing the daily chores, Ram approached me with a slight frown on her face.

“Ahem, Master Roswaal needs some supplies from the Capital and I have been told to take you with me.” She says.

“Oh? So you mean Roswaal forced you to hang out with someone because you’re being too reclusive.” I tease.

“I have no idea what that means, but you can think what you like. Master Roswaal simply noticed that, unlike Barusu, someone doesn’t like to visit the village, " She replies, giving me a piercing stare that makes me flinch. Maybe I had been avoiding the village. Subaru went there to check on things, and they rushed him with hugs and gratitude…not for me, thanks.

Just like that, Ram dragged me along as we hopped in a carriage, her in the front driving and me in the back. It was a bit awkward, but I managed to have a simple conversation during the journey there. Being back in the Capital after a couple of weeks was a weird feeling. It was kind of like returning home, though I guess that’s a weird comparison.

“We just need to head to a few stores and bring the stuff back to the carriage, do you think you can do it?” She asks.

“Of course, what kind of person do you think I am?” I question back.

“Do you really want to know what I think?” She smirks.

“Fair enough.” I shrug. We walk through the city, visiting a few of the local shops. Most of the stuff we pick up is stuff not easily found in the village and we pick it up in bulk so I end up carrying all the shit back to the carriage once we get enough. It was exhausting, and after we finally got everything but one store, I wanted to collapse on the floor.

“What’s this? You boasted so much but a few hours of work leaves you like this.” Ram chuckles.

“Huff, huff, funnily enough I didn’t see you carry that much.” I give her a tight smile.

“Leaving all the work to a girl? What kind of person are you indeed.” She smiles. Ram’s quick-witted dry humor leaves me gasping for air sometimes. I always fancied myself as someone who could jest with ease, but she was on another level entirely.

While I was taking a break and feeling sorry for myself, I glanced around the shop windows. They were all selling different things. Some had armour, others had accessories, and some even had strange items I’d never seen before. But what caught my eye were a pair of daggers in a weapon shop and an outfit in a clothing shop.

The daggers were a gorgeous shiny black, they were longer than most daggers that I had seen, but they were sleek and lithe and curvy around the edge of the blade. The outfit was a brown overcoat with a white shirt and black pants underneath and some fingerless gloves. But the part that brought it all together was a blue scarf paired next to it, even better was that there was a matching orange scarf as well.

Ram was still dealing with the last shop on her own, so I decided to check out the shops. I had garnered myself a bit of wealth by working at the mansion, but when I looked at the price tag for both items, I soon realized that bit of wealth wasn’t anything to be confident about.

“...The outfit, or the daggers.” I’m mumbling into my hands as Ram gets back.

“What are you muttering?” She questions.

“On my measly salary, I can only buy either that pair of daggers, or that outfit with the orange scarf. Ah, what to do!?” I cry out in financial pain.

“Pick the one that’s more useful in the moment,” Ram advises.

“Hmm, good idea, then I guess I’ll choose that.” A few minutes later I’m walking out of the clothing shop a proud owner of a fantasy outfit. I chose the outfit because while the daggers would be useful in combat, I didn’t want to walk around in a butler outfit or my clothes from back home all the time.

“All done?” Ram asks, she’s sitting on top of the carriage with the reins in her lap. The carriages here were interesting, they weren’t driven by horses but instead by something called Earth Dragons. With all the supplies taking up the back, this time I was forced to sit up front with Ram.

“We won’t get knocked off if we go too fast, right?” I ask her.

“Don’t worry, the Earth Dragons have the Divine Protection of Wind Evasion which extends to us as well. We won’t feel any pressure of the wind, but if you go too far out of reach you may be knocked off.” She explains.

As the carriage starts on its journey back to the mansion, I notice something weird almost immediately, Ram said we shouldn’t be able to feel any wind but a calm breeze ran through my hair. When I glanced over at Ram, her hair was lying flat, not moving an inch.

“Uhm, Ram, didn’t you say we weren’t supposed to feel the wind?” I ask her.

“Correct.” She states.

“Then, is it bad if I feel the wind?” I question. She glances over in surprise, but at the same time she accidentally jerks the reins. We’re outside of the Capital driving a near-empty road toward the forest the mansion rests in, so luckily we don’t hit anybody as the carriage suddenly speeds up. The bad news is that I’m not so lucky, the sudden increase in wind pressure sends me flying off the carriage where I roll for a few seconds before grinding to a stop.

“Urgh.” I groan in pain. I have a few red marks on my hands where I landed and my head is dizzy, but overall I’m fine. The carriage has stopped in front of me and Ram has hopped off and rushed over.

“Are you alright? What happened?” She shoots out rapidfire questions while checking my body all over.

“The wind was too strong, it knocked me over,” I explain.

“What? That shouldn’t be possible.” She mumbles.

“I don’t know what to tell you.” I shrug.

“It seems like you’ll have to stay in the back with the supplies, I hope you’re fine with a cramped ride home.” She says, grabbing my hand and pulling me up.

“I mean, anything is better than getting tossed out of a carriage like that.” I chuckle.

“It did make for a funny sight, maybe we could try again later.” Ram smirks.

“Yeah right! If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were trying to murder me.” I shoot back.

“Hmph, but this is something I’ll have to mention to Master Roswaal when we get back.” She contemplates as she hops back into the driver's seat. I open the door to the back of the carriage and position myself into the most comfortable position I can as the carriage starts back up again. From where I’m sitting wedged between some crates, I spot a small bag sitting on top of all the other supplies, I’m curious about it, so I decide to ask Ram what it is.

“What’s this small bag here? I don’t remember us getting anything that small?” I question.

“...Why don’t you open it and find out.” She replies mysteriously. That’s a weird response but I just shrug my shoulders and grab the bag, sliding it closer to me and peeking inside. What I find there is the best thing I’ve seen since I’ve been in this world…besides Reinhard, I think hot redheads take the cake.

“The daggers! Don’t tell me you bought them!” I squeal.

“They are a gift, a small thank you for how you helped my sister,” Ram explains.

“You shouldn’t have!” I exclaim, though my body is betraying me as I hug the bag to my chest.

“Just think of it as something to practice, it’s better for you if you can protect yourself and the inhabitants of the mansion.” She answers dutifully.

“Ram, thank you, I mean it, this is the best present anyone has ever gotten me,” I tell her.

“I would’ve thought Barusu would’ve gotten you something you like?” She says confusedly.

“I mean, we haven’t known each other long enough to buy each other presents, we don’t even know each other’s birthdays. Ah, I should probably make note of that.” I mumble the last part to myself. When we get back to the mansion and after unloading all the stuff, I make sure to give Ram the biggest hug of gratitude. She acts like she didn’t like it, but I can see the tips of her ears turn red.

“What happened during the trip? One second I’m having a pleasant chat with Emilia and the next my hands are red and scraped, what did you do, fall from a carriage?” Subaru questions me as soon as we step inside.

“...” I glance to the side, scratching my cheek at his words.

“...You’ve got to be kidding.” He gives a dry chuckle.

“He is not, I saw it happen,” Ram says, coming up behind me.

“Let’s just forget about it, here.” I rifle through the bag in my hands until I grab what I’m looking for and hand it to Subaru, it’s the orange scarf from earlier.

“What’s this?” He asks, holding up the scarf.

“A gift, I saw it with an outfit I bought and thought it’d fit you, speaking of, when you get the chance you should get an outfit, don’t want to be wearing that track suit forever,” I tell him.

“Hey! My track suit is classy.” He argues.

“In what universe?” I shoot back.

“Urgh.” He chokes on his next words at my comeback.

“I’m going to go try this on, cya.” I wave to him as I leave, heading toward my room with a hop in my step. A few minutes later and I’m in front of the mirror, giving a little spin to check everything out. The outfit is perfect and I couldn’t wish for anything better, there’s even a spot to hang the daggers from the belt, making for a perfect rogueish look.

“Haha, I’m so glad I bought this.” I chuckle to myself. Whatever comes to pass in this new world, I’ll definitely be fine if I’m wearing this outfit…okay maybe that’s a bit presumptuous but the point still stands.

Chapter Text

Despite getting a cool new outfit, I was still forced to wear a butler uniform when performing my butler duties. It was a shame, but they let me keep the scarf on. During this time that Subaru and I have spent at the mansion, he’s gotten the entire village to join in on his radio calisthenics and even included a stamp program. Today he even managed to convince Emilia to go with him.

“Have fun on your date,” I whisper in his ear before he leaves. He slaps me away while blushing, and I laugh after him.

“I don’t see what’s funny about this, while Barusu gets to slack off you have to do his work,” Ram says, coming up behind me. I choke on my laughter at this revelation…I really should have kept my mouth shut. A few hours into our work, we’re informed that someone has arrived on the property in a dragon-drawn carriage.

“Who is it?” I question Ram as we go out to greet them.

“An emissary for Master Roswaal, we are to greet the guests and lead them to the room Master Roswaal is waiting in,” Ram explains. When we step outside, an old man is waiting by the carriage, and a cat-eared girl wearing a frilly dress is standing next to him.

“Welcome, if you would please follow us.” Ram bows and I follow suit. I glance up curiously at the pair, the cat-eared girl quickly follows, shooting me a wink. The old man raises his hand showing that he’ll be staying back. I turn to follow Ram and the cat-eared girl inside, but a feeling on my back makes me turn my head, and I catch the old man staring at me.

He glances away in embarrassment and I quickly head inside the mansion. Weird…I get a feeling that I’ve seen that old man before. Not only that, but he feels stronger than he looks. Ram and I lead the cat-eared girl into the room Roswaal is waiting in and then stand by the door.

“Who was that?” I ask Ram.

“That was Ferris, also known as Blue for his healing capabilities. He works under the Crusch camp for the Royal Selection.” Ram explains. I nod my head in understanding, I don’t know too much about the other camps aiming to be the new King, but Ram had told me a little about them when I had asked, mostly about who the Royal Selection candidates were. A few minutes pass and soon enough Emilia and Subaru arrive in front of the door.

“What’s going on?” Subaru asks.

“An emissary for Master Roswaal has arrived, Emilia, you are invited to the meeting as well,” Ram tells them.

“Great! I’ll try not to embarrass myself too much.” Subaru replies, gearing up to head into the room.

“Wait up idiot, we’re not allowed in the meeting.” I hold Subaru back from bursting into the room.

“Ehhh.” He sighs in disappointment.

“We’ll go do something else, be back later,” I tell Ram, dragging Subaru off. Better he was away from the door just in case he decided to do something drastic.

“Oh, I know what we can do, let’s talk to that old man outside.” Despite his earlier disappointment, the pep is back in his steps as he drags me outside before I can protest. When we get outside, we find the old man polishing off the carriage.

“It must be boring waiting out here,” Subaru says to him. The old man turns to glance at us as we approach.

“It’s not that bad.” The old man smiles.

“How about talking to us to relieve some of it, maybe you could tell us why you’re here in the meantime?” Subaru asks innocently, though there’s a sly gleam to his eyes.

“How obvious can you be? Just shut up for a bit and Emilia will probably tell you.” I scold him.

“What? There’s no harm in asking.” He answers, crossing his arms indignantly.

“Haha, I’m afraid I don’t know your standing, so I cannot say much, but I did see you had quite a close bond with Miss Emilia. I’ve not met you before. My name is Wilhelm, and you are?” Wilhelm turns to me and holds out his hand in greeting.

“Erik,” I say, shaking his hand back. He appears to pause for a second, before letting go.

“Do you really think so?” Subar asks him excitedly, referring to his earlier mention of his and Emilia’s bond.

“They went on a date earlier,” I tell Wilhelm.

“Ahhh! Don’t go spreading my business to others! Besides, it wasn’t really a date.” Subaru sighs.

“Haha, it is a steep path you climb, young man. She may be the Queen of Lugunica in the future,” Wilhelm replies solemnly.

“Hm, maybe, but for now we’re just a servant boy and an adorable girl, you must be the type that thinks your wife is the prettiest girl in the world,” Subaru tells Wilhelm.

“I have to agree, you’re the kind of person who keeps up the tough exterior, driving away almost everyone besides those who truly want to get to know you,” I add on. The old man seems surprised by our words, but he soon lets out a sad smile.

“You’re right, I did think my wife was the prettiest girl in the world.” He states. From the look on his face I can tell it must stir up some mixed memories. His wife probably passed already.

“Old man Wil! Sorry to keep you waiting.” A cheerful voice interrupts the melancholic atmosphere and I turn to see the cat-eared girl, Ferris, walking toward us.

“Were you bored?” She asks him.

“Not at all, I was talking to these two lovely young men,” Wilhelm states. She stares at us with a curiosity, first walking over to Subaru and then suddenly hugging him from behind and biting his ear.

“Huh?!” He exclaims, his face turning red.

“Well, did you appreciate my act of service?” She chuckles.

“What?” He blinks in confusion as she approaches me.

“Look, it’s nice to meet you and all but please don’t hug me,” I beg. She smirks as an answer and runs up to try and hug me. I start backing away faster as she chases after me.

“I don’t know what service you give, but I’m good, seriously!” I shout behind me. While I’m looking back to make sure she isn’t gaining on me, I suddenly smack into someone and realize Subaru intentionally placed himself in my way to block me.

“You bastard. I swear on my life that I will find increasingly painful places to hurt myself in just to make your life harder and more stressful.” I threaten as I get hugged from behind. I feel something rush through me, though it quickly fades.

“Hm? Interesting.” She mumbles after letting go.

“Never do that again…please.” I shudder.

“Nice to meet you two, my name is Ferris.” She stretches out a hand to the two of us.

“I’m Natsuki Subaru.” Subaru grandly introduces himself as always.

“Erik,” I reply simply.

“Hm? So you two are the ones Emilia talked about.” She smirks playfully.

“Emilia talked about us?” Subaru questions.

“Yep! Hopefully I’ll see you in the Royal Capital!” She chirps, stepping past us and onto the carriage. Wilhelm follows behind and she waves at us as the carriage disappears into the horizon.

“The Royal Capital?” I question.

“Let’s go talk to Emilia.” Subaru suddenly says with determination.

“Huh? Wait!” I call out in vain as he grabs me and drags me away. How does he always get away with dragging me like this? I’ve been doing daily training with Ram after I got my dagger, so I should be a little bit stronger than him, maybe it’s the radio calisthenics.

“Soooo, what’s going on in the Capital?” Subaru asks Emilia unsubtly. Rem is standing in the room as well, I have no idea where Ram went but my guess would be with Roswaal.

“I’ve received an important summons,” Emilia states.

“Can I go, please?” Subaru asks.

“Holy shit, could you be more pathetic about it! You want to ask, ask like someone who needs to be there.” I pick up his collar and shake him back and forth.

“Try again,” I tell him. Pointing at Emilia who’s standing there with an awkward smile on her face.

“Ahem, I have some people I want to thank back in the Capital and I want to help with your battle for the throne.” He says confidently.

“Bravo!” Rem claps for him on the side.

“Hahaha, did you come up with an elaborate show just to ask me to bring you to the Capital with me?” Emilia questions.

“Not really, we just have excellent timing,” I reply.

“So?” Subaru tilts his head in question.

“I don’t know…” Emilia trails off, thinking hard.

“I say he shouuuuuuld go. He has friends in the Caaaapital, plus it would help if he got treeeeatment.” Roswaal appears at the door silently, making me jump.

“Please announce yourself before you pop out, I almost had a heart attack,” I tell him.

“Sorry.” He chuckles.

“Wait, treatment?” Subaru picks up on his words.

“You overused your gate in the mabeast battle, not only thaaaat but it was already exhausted beforehand, you met one of the most powerful healers eaaaaarlier, it was hard for even Miss. Emilia to enlist their help.” Roswaal states.

“You better make sure your gate heals, I’m not having the only one of us who can use magic completely break his gate.” I glare at Subaru.

“Alright, alright…also, thank you Emilia, you didn’t have to do that,” Subaru tells her.

“It’s fine, I wanted to, think of it like repaying a debt.” She replies cheerfully.

“Oh, and one more thiiiing. I want Erik to go as well.” Roswaal drops a bomb on me out of nowhere.

“What!? Why!?” I exclaim, but I find Ram glaring at me and quickly shut my mouth before I say anything else.

“I mean, of course Master Roswaal,” I say, bowing. When I glance up, Ram has a proud smirk on her face.

“You should also greeeet the people that helped you before, and it wiiiiill be good for the both of you,” Roswaal states. With that, we start preparing for our trip to the Capital. I get to bring my daggers along for protection, but I have to wear the butler outfit so I can make my status known to anyone we come across.

A few days later, and we all pile into a dragon-drawn carriage, almost everyone is here beside Beatrice and Ram who are staying behind to watch the mansion. I made sure to say goodbye to Ram before I left, promising to get her a gift, and Subaru made sure to spin Beatrice around once before leaving, much to her displeasure.

“Won’t Rem fly off, driving up there with that wind pressure?” Subaru asks as the carriage starts heading toward the Capital.

“Nope, something about Divine Protections and Earth Dragons,” I tell Subaru. I don’t think my explanation was adequate though, as he blinks at me in confusion.

“Divine Protections are something that select people are gifted at birth, all Earth Dragons have the Divine Protection of Wind Evasion which also applies to us as passengers,” Emilia explains.

“Woah, could I have a Divine Protection?” Subaru asks.

“No, moooost of the time users know their Divine Protections, so it is highly unlikely for you to have one and even if you didn’t know there would be signs of iiiiit,” Roswaal states.

“Hmm, oh, I wanted to ask, something weird happened last time I used a dragon carriage. Ram did the whole spiel about the Divine Protection, but it didn’t seem to work on me and the wind pressure forced me off the carriage.” I explain to Roswaal. He seems to know a lot about magic, so I assume the best person to ask is him.

“Hm? Something like that is impossible, unless….” He trails off, lost in thought.

“Unless?” I question him.

“Have you ever had a feeling, something that you just knew as true despite nobody telling you?” He asks me out of nowhere. I think back upon my life, knowing something as true…it wasn’t much but there was a feeling I had when I was younger.

“When I was a kid, it was weird, but I always assumed I would never get sick. I don’t know why I felt that way, but it ended up being true, I’ve never been sick in my life.” I tell him.

“...Very interesting.” He mumbles.

“I want to try out this Divine Protection, see if it works.” Subaru suddenly interrupts. I’m taken out of my conversation and watch as Rem invites him up with her in the front. It isn’t long before I’m laughing as he leans out too far and falls off the carriage. Luckily, Rem saves him before he hits the ground and injures us.

When we finally arrive at the Capital, I pretty much forget about the strange conversation with Roswaal, until he approaches me behind the others.

“About your question earlier, the only thing that can counteract a Divine Protection like that…is another Divine Protection.” He whispers, I turn to stare at him in surprise, but he’s already left. Rem also takes off, saying she has some errands to run, leaving me, Emilia, and Subaru to ourselves.

Emilia is wearing a hood that hides her features from anyone who isn’t permitted to. It also makes them forget having even seen the person, it’s like their eyes just glance over her, it’s an impressive piece of magic and I wish I knew how to study it.

“Uhm, Emilia, is there a reason you’re holding my hand?” Subaru asks.

“It’s because if I let go, you’ll go off and do something idiotic.” She huffs.

“What!? Then why aren’t you holding onto Erik’s hand?” He questions.

“Heh.” I let out a puff of laughter and smirk at him.

“Because he’s been to the Capital with Ram before and been fine,” Emilia replies, walking off and dragging Subaru behind her as I walk beside them. Subaru soon takes the lead, taking us toward the appa stand from before, the man running the stand glances at us in surprise as we approach him.

“I remember you two, bunch of broke troublemakers.” He says.

“Ah, too bad we’re not broke anymore, wouldn’t that have been a good chuckle,” I tell him, giving him some coins for a bag of appas. I reach into the bag and hand Subaru and Emilia one as we walk off, taking one for myself as well.

“Next on the list would be Rom and Felt,” Subaru says out loud, preparing to take us toward the slums.

“Ah, after you two passed out, Reinhard’s face went dark and he took off with Felt, I think we should get into contact with him at a guard station to find Felt,” Emilia tells us, leading Subaru in a different direction. A nervous energy wells up in me at seeing Reinhard again, though I’m also a bit excited. The redhead hasn’t made good on his promise yet and I’m going to hold him to it.

“Doesn’t that sound a bit off, ugh, pretty people privilege,” Subaru grumbles.

“If Emilia did the same thing would you be grumbling about it?” I question him. The question makes him choke up and he simply glares at me while I laugh. When we get to the guard station, before we can knock on the heavy iron door before us, someone calls out to Emilia.

“Ah, Miss. Emilia, it’s been a while since I last saw you, have you been well?” An elegant man with purple hair and a knight’s uniform bows to us. Emilia had taken off her hood, to allow the guards to recognize her in the station.

“I have, how about you Julius?” She asks him.

“I have also been well, I’m glad you remember me, you have grown more beautiful since I’ve last seen you.” The man, Julius, approaches Emilia and bends down to kiss her hand. He’s a bit formal, but he probably just takes his duties seriously.

When I turn to glance at Subaru, I see him with an affronted expression and smack his face lightly, trying to tell him to knock it out before the other two see. His expression shifts into one of more subtle annoyance, though it’s still obvious so I let out a small sigh.

“Sorry for asking, but I’d like you to do me a favor, I have some business here and I’d like for you to act as my agent.” Emilia continues the conversation, unaware of what’s happening behind her.

“I take it this business has to do with these two?” Julius searches our faces curiously. I nod my head slightly when his eyes meet mine, and his face changes from a kind smile to a curious one as he gets to Subaru.

“Your expression is ill-fitted with your outfit, I don’t think that’s any way to greet someone you’ve just met.” The words are formal, but there’s a slight teasing undertone to them, not anything cruel but like he finds amusement from Subaru’s expression nonetheless.

“Hah? What kind of warning is that, well if you want a warning-!” I clap a hand over Subaru’s mouth before he can say anything else.

“Not the time or place,” I whisper harshly in his ear. I take my hand off and he sinks down with a pout.

“If everything is settled, allow me to show you to the conference mirrors,” Julius says, walking by to talk to a guard stationed nearby.

“Conference mirrors?” Subaru asks curiously. I’m also curious about the term I’ve never heard before and listen intently to Emilia’s explanation.

“It’s basically a mirror that lets you talk to and see the person on the other side.” She explains.

“Interesting, well then, let’s go.” Subaru gets ready to start walking into the building.

“Ah, could you two wait here please. This place doesn’t react well to servants and you might have an unpleasant experience, so could you wait out here for me?” She asks innocently.

“Sure,” I reply.

“Bu-!”

“Sure!” I say even louder, interrupting Subaru again. Emilia blinks at us with worry, but she quickly moves ahead into the building, not wanting to waste time.

“Why’d you cover up everything I said?! Did you see that bastard licking all over Emilia’s hand?” Subaru mutters in anger.

“Did you forget we’re in a different world? Customs here are different, not only that, but we’re servants right now. It’s best if we listen to what Emilia says, she knows stuff better than us.” I tell him.

“...I guess.” He sighs, though I can tell from his expression he’s not entirely convinced. With that, we both sit down on the grass to wait for Emilia to come back. We’re not waiting for very long before we spot a girl being dragged into an alley.

“Ah great,” I mumble as Subaru predictably drags me up to go help.

“What could go wrong this time?” I mutter to myself sarcastically.

Chapter Text

The girl dragged into the alley was gorgeous, with long orange hair and a black and red dress that complimented her red eyes. She also absolutely did not look like she needed any help. She was surrounded by some familiar faces of the robbers who had tried to steal our stuff on our first day in this world.

“Hey, honey, sorry I’m late. It seems you got yourself into a bit of trouble, but as long as we move on from here, all should be fine.” Subaru pushes himself past the three men to approach the girl. As he reaches out to grab her arm and pull her away, she gives out a dangerous glare, and I hurriedly push past the trio to grab Subaru back before he does anything drastic.

“Ahem, sorry about that. But I think we got it from here so you guys can go, shoo shoo.” I wave my hands at the trio while bringing Subaru closer to myself.

“Why’d you stop me?” He whispers into my ear in confusion.

“She looked like she was about to throw you into the wall,” I whisper back. Subaru subtly glances at the girl behind us, who has taken out a fan and watches us over the top of it as the other half covers her face.

“We’re not going to leave just because you told us to! Wait…aren’t you the two from the alley back in the shopping district!?” The bigger of the three prepares for a fight but stops as he gets a closer look at our faces. Took him long enough.

“Yep, now if you value your lives you should scram.” I threaten, sending them a harsh glare.

“Why would we scram, it’s three on three and one of you is a girl!” The tiny one scoffs.

“Hmph, don’t include me with these two.” The girl finally decides to speak up, and instead of praise or thanks, it's harsh words of cruelty.

“Seriously? So is it a three on two on one situation now?” Subaru questions, rubbing the back of his head.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, this is ridiculous.” I sigh.

“Now that it’s come down to this, don’t say I didn’t warn you, did you forget that we know Reinhard?” Subaru stalks forward, getting up into the trio's personal space.

“If we call for him, he’ll come running and you three won’t be spared considering your record.” He continues, using his finger to poke at the lanky one's skull.

“Hm? It’s been a while since I’ve seen you two, what’re you doing here?” A gruff voice calls out. We turn around to see Old Man Rom behind us and his figure is enough to tip the three robbers over the edge and flee.

“Aw man, I wanted to rough them up a little as revenge.” I pout, watching them go.

“Thanks for coming, Old Man Rom, I don’t know if we could’ve handled them.” Subaru sighs in relief as Rom walks up to us.

“Hah, there’s no ‘we’ in that statement,” I smirk.

“I would’ve been fine on my own, you were not needed here.” The girl states haughtily.

“Usually people say thank you after things like this,” I mumble.

“I’m not going to thank someone when they didn’t do anything, the world operates in my favor so the situation would never be at my disadvantage.” She says, I jump a bit at the fact that she heard me.

“Oh yeah? Well, if the world works in your favor, then maybe it was in your favor that we’re here, ever thought about it that way?” I shoot back and her eyes narrow.

“Look, we’re sorry for interfering.” Subaru butts in before the argument gets worse.

“I had a question for you two, do you know where Felt went?” Rom asks us as I turn away from the annoying girl.

“Oh, you didn’t hear? Apparently she got taken away by Reinhard.” Subaru tells him.

“I see…an Astrea, eh?” Rom mumbles to himself. I glance at Rom but he doesn’t elaborate further.

“Be careful out here then, I’ll see you around,” Rom says, waving goodbye as he leaves.

“Geez, I finally found you.” A voice calls out from the other end of the alley.

“Is everyone we know going to show up in this alley?” I question, turning to find Emilia standing with a man in a helmet and a missing arm. I tilt my head to study him, he doesn’t seem like a threatening person, but staring at him like this gives me goosebumps, so I tear my gaze away.

“Ah, Emilia! We just went to help this girl in the alleyway, speaking of, who’s this guy?” Subaru questions, glancing up at the man in the helmet.

“I was looking for a lost child, just like this little lady.” The man in the helmet jokes.

“Did you seriously refer to us as lost children?” I ask Emilia.

“You’re lost, and acting like children, so I suppose I did.” She replies.

“Yikes, what did I do to get on your bad side today? I swear we just went to help this bra-ahem-distinguished young lady.” I cut off what I’m about to say by the sharp jab to my side by Subaru.

“While I appreciate you looking for us, trusting a guy who looks like that is a bit much…” Subaru trails off as he stares up and down at helmet guy. He’s basically shirtless and including the helmet…he looks like a robber.

“Well isn’t that rude, some people would lob your head off for that you know, but I’m nice so I won’t.” The man chuckles.

“Subaru! His appearance surprised me too, but you don’t have to be rude!” Emilia scolds.

“No wait, I agree with him, be honest, if I saw this kind of appearance on the side of the road I would definitely cross the street and avoid them,” I tell helmet guy, glancing him up and down.

“Now this is just cruel.” He sighs.

“Hm, how attentive you were to wait where you knew I would be. Your dedication deserves to be commended, Al.” The girl from the alley speaks up, looking at the man in the helmet.

“Guess we weren’t the only adults called lost children,” I smirk. When Emilia catches the gaze of the girl from the alley, she hurriedly hides behind Subaru. She has her hood on that keeps her form being recognized, but this girl must be someone important if Emilia is trying to hide from her even with it on.

“Well, I guess we found who we were looking for, so we’ll get going now,” Subaru states, noticing Emilia’s discomfort.

“Wait.” The girl demands. I almost want to continue walking. I mean, who is she to tell us to stop? But these two give me a bad feeling and I’d rather not get on their bad side right now. So I stop in place, but I make sure to do it as slow as possible, turning around in an excruciatingly slow fashion. This makes her eyebrows turn up, but she doesn’t say anything about it.

“What is in the bag?” She asks, pointing at the bag of appas in my hands. I’d still been holding onto it even after getting dragged by Subaru.

“These? They’re appas, I would’ve thought they were common?” I mutter the last part, glancing down at the bag in confusion.

“Don’t be ridiculous, appas have white flesh.” The girl states confidently.

“Pfft, no way! You mean, you’ve only ever had unpeeled appas before?” I can’t help the laugh that comes to my mouth as I think about what she said. Her face turns into a small frown and I hurriedly shut up before I get my head cut off.

“Here, try it with the skin, and be careful going after bad guys from now on.” Subaru grabs an appa and tosses it to her, a light smile on his face. With that, we leave the alley, I only glance back once and I see the girl smiling lightly down at the appa as the guy with the helmet moves his gaze away from us to look at her. What a weird pair.

“...Where and how did you meet that girl, please give me all the details.” As we’re walking down the street, Emilia gets a serious expression and questions us suddenly.

“What’s this about, you jealous?” Subaru teases. Emilia stops and stares at us, her expression deadly serious. Subaru and I shoot a questioning glance at each other. He shrugs his shoulders, as I shake my head.

“It’s like we said, we saw her get dragged into an alley and Subaru was all like ‘We gotta save a damsel in distress!’ and dragged me with him. Turns out she didn’t need much help and after the robbers got scared away we ran into Rom and then you.” I explain.

“...Alright, it’s fine if you don’t know,” Emilia replies cryptically, walking forward again. Subaru and I turn to each other again, but neither of us has an answer so we start to follow Emilia again.

When we get back to the mansion we’re staying at, Emilia explains her plan for tomorrow. She was going to the discussion about the Royal Selection tomorrow, and she was going without the two of us. I didn’t really care that much, going into a place with that many people all focused on you sounded horrible to me, but unfortunately, my best friend didn’t have that same opinion.

“We still haven’t gotten into contact with Reinhard yet, we should go in person tomorrow to meet with him.” Subaru is trying to persuade Emilia to let us go with her.

“I can’t, I need you to rest and besides, it wouldn’t be good to bring outsiders into this. Just stay here and don’t push yourself.” Emilia tells him calmly.

“But I’m fine with pushing myself, I want to push myself, it would be safer if I went with you.” Subaru tries.

“Subaru, promise me you’ll stay here and rest.” Emilia levels him with a hard stare. He shrinks a bit under her gaze.

“Alright, I promise I’ll rest, but I can rest if I go with you.” He tries one last time.

“No, I know how you are so please, give me a reason to trust you.” She says the last part softly, a look of pain crosses her face at the words. Rem is in the room with us and I glance at her out of the corner of my eye. She’s watching the situation with a cold face, but I can see the slight pain in her eyes at the situation.

The discussion ends there and the next morning we watch from the window as the carriage carrying Emilia and Roswaal leaves. I let out a sigh of relief, I was afraid Subaru would drag me somewhere last minute or try and follow them. But now, I can spend the day relaxing, waiting for the others to get back.

“Rem, do you happen to know where the discussion is taking place?” Subaru questions the blue-haired maid. Huh? Wait, what? What did he just ask?

“No, no, absolutely not. Whatever you are thinking, throw it in the trash.” I demand, getting up from where I’m lazing on the couch to approach Subaru. He ignores me in favor of staring at Rem until she answers.

“It’s in the castle, but the security is heavy.” She says, trying to dissuade whatever idea he’s formed.

“I like Emilia, and I want to be there for her in her important moments and keep her safe. I’m only of use to her when something happens, so I want to be there for anything important.” He says with determination. I glance at Rem, but she has a fond expression on her face and I know she’s going to let him go.

“This is a horrible idea, seriously! Emilia just told us to wait here, she had you promise! All we have to do is relax for one day!” I try to argue with him.

“Ahem, I’ll just be perfecting an appa pie recipe, it will take immense concentration so if someone were to sneak out I’m sure I wouldn’t notice,” Rem says, then she leaves the room and Subaru has a somber grin on his face.

“No! Whatever you’re thinking, just no!” I try again, but Subaru is already heading toward the door and I’m left with no choice but to follow after him.

I don’t get it, I really don’t get it. I try to think of why he would be doing this, why he’s been acting this way lately. I don’t understand until I try to grab him and he turns back to me, a look of determination and self-hatred boiling behind his eyes as he shakes me off and continues on.

So that’s what it is. He really does think he’s a tool to be used by Emilia. This idiot thinks he’s so useless to her, to everyone, that the only way he can protect them is by putting himself in harm's way. He thinks that’s how he can earn her love. Why? How did it get to this point? I thought I could help him, that we could help each other.

I’m such a fool. Of course he feels useless, of course he’s clinging onto Emilia like she’s the only person in the world. After everything we’ve been through and done, it makes sense. She hasn’t killed us, she’s been his guiding light since we got here. He just wants to protect her and protect himself…but doing it this way…isn’t going to turn out well for anyone.

I’m walking by Subaru’s side now as he looks around in confusion. He probably doesn’t know where we’re supposed to go, lucky enough for him that a certain man in a helmet happens to be nearby. Subaru spots the man, Al, as the girl called him the other day, and immediately heads toward him.

“Hey!” Subaru waves out in greeting.

“Hm? Oh, what are you two doing here?” Al questions. He was standing in front of a familiar appa stand when we approached.

“We were looking for a way to get into the castle,” Subaru states.

“Uhm, no, you were looking for a way to get into the castle, I am following you so that you don’t do something astronomically idiotic and get us executed.” I gripe.

“Sorry, sorry, but I have to do this,” Subaru replies as I sigh.

“This isn’t healthy, you know,” I say, but he promptly ignores me.

“Uhm…I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but I can probably help you guys get in.” Al tells us, rubbing the back of his helmet awkwardly.

“Great!” Subaru shouts.

“Oh, hold on a second, just let me…” Subaru trails off, grabbing out a piece of paper and an ink pen from who knows where and hurriedly jotting down a note on the side of the appa stand.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” The familiar owner exclaims.

“Sorry, but could you deliver this to Old Man Rom?” Subaru pleads. The stall owner grabs the letter and reluctantly agrees. With that, Al leads us to a fancy dragon carriage, allowing us to step inside where we find the girl from yesterday.

“We also happened to be on our way to the castle,” Al states, patting the side of the dragon carriage, telling it to start its journey. Considering Emilia’s reaction to the girl last night, and the fact that they were also going to the castle…

“Then, you must be one of the candidates,” I state, looking at the girl.

“Yep, this is Priscilla Barielle herself,” Al confirms.

“Eh? Then why did you agree to take us?” Subaru questions.

“It seemed amusing, bringing you to the castle would be interesting. The world works in my favor after all, so it won’t have a bad effect on me. There is another reason…but you don’t need to hear it.” She explains.

“Wow, I’m so grateful,” I grumble.

“This one doesn’t really want to be here right now,” Al tells her as I sink lower into my seat. At least Subaru has the grace to look slightly guilty as I glare at him.

“I had a reason for picking you two up as well, I thought it’d be interesting to talk to people from the same world as I.” Al suddenly reveals some extremely important information that would’ve been nicer to know earlier.

“Are you freaking kidding me! You could’ve mentioned that at any time yesterday and you chose to wait till now!?” I exclaim.

“You're from the same world as us! No wonder you’re so easy to get along with!” Subaru says happily.

“It’s been a while, so I don’t remember much, but the way you guys talk is reminiscent of that place so I assumed you also got brought here,” Al explains.

“While I definitely have questions, the first is if it’s okay to talk about this in front of her,” I say, pointing to Priscilla.

“Pay me no mind, it is to my enjoyment to hear you speak of such fantasies,” Priscilla states.

“Alriiiight.”

“Can we ask you some questions?” Subaru gazes with starry eyes at Al.

“Hm, maybe, no guarantee I’ll answer you truthfully though,” Al answers.

“Fair enough, how long have you been here?” I ask first.

“Eighteen years, though I’ve just been trying to survive for most of them.” He answers.

“Do you know why you were brought here?” Subaru says next.

“Nope,” Al replies.

“Is there anything about this world that you can tell us?” I question.

“Well, this world is surrounded by the Great Waterfall and is technically flat, I found that pretty interesting.” He tells us. That throws me for a loop, this world is flat, who would’ve thought? Does that mean we can walk off the edge? Or go straight through it? As I think of a dozen more questions to ask, I’m interrupted by the carriage rolling to a stop, we’ve arrived. A fresh wave of dread at what we’re about to do rolls through my stomach.

We all exit the carriage and approach the guard waiting at the gate. Priscilla tells them her name and status and that the two of us are her servants who, and in her words, ‘Showed her the glory of what an appas true form is’, with that excuse she got us in and we were soon standing in front of a grand set of double doors.

“We can still rethink this horrible idea and go home,” I tell Subaru, grabbing onto his hand for comfort.

“I have to do this.” He responds. The doors open and we walk into a giant room, Emilia and Roswaal are there in front of us, and on the left are a bunch of people in knight uniforms. The other side has a bunch of people in black suits. I almost freeze as all the eyes turn on us, but Subaru drags me forward.

Emilia turns around at the noise and the hurt and confusion in her eyes when she sees us is unmistakable. Hoo boy, this is not going to turn out good.

Chapter Text

I’m just kind of sitting there frozen as Emilia looks over us in shock. To the side of me, Priscilla grabs onto Subaru and declares him her manservant. I can see Roswaal walking up, but my eyes are focused on Emilia who is fixing me with a betrayed stare.

“Why?” She questions softly. I motion for her to come closer and I lean down to whisper in her ear.

“I tried to stop him…but, he didn’t listen to me and I didn’t want him to go off on his own…I didn’t want to be left alone.” I added the last part a bit more pathetically. She backs up and nods her head, a sad frown graces her face for an instant before she masks it.

“I told you to stay home.” She tells Subaru, Priscilla has already bypassed our group and headed on ahead, Al is standing next to us awkwardly. Subaru rubs the back of his head in shame, but I can tell he doesn’t regret his choice.

“The Council of Wise Men will now enter!” A voice announces. Our attention is drawn to the back of the room where a group of old men in robes walk in as we step to the side to let them go past.

“Those are the people running the country in the King's absence, right?” Subaru questions after noticing my confused glance at them. His words jog my memory a bit, I really should’ve taken the reading and history lessons more seriously, but they were soooo boring.

“I think we’re supposed to stand over there,” Al says after all the Wise Men have made it to the front of the room. He’s pointing over where the people in knights' uniforms stand, and I can’t help but do a double-take.

“You sure?” I ask him.

“Hmmm, it sounds amuuuuusing so I’ll allow it.” Roswaal smiles and that smile at this moment is the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

“We can still leave.” I hiss at Subaru.

“But Roswaal, if Subaru stays-”

“Miss Emilia, the conference is beginning, you should head to the center.” Roswaal cuts Emilia off before she can finish her sentence.

“Ugh, you’re going to explain yourself properly later!” She huffs, pouting at Subaru who glances down at his shoes. Then, Emilia stalks off toward the center of the room. I follow behind Al a bit nervously as he leads us to the side of the room with the knights. I’m staring at my shoes and holding onto the edge of Subaru’s sleeve as we stop moving. Being around this many people makes me want to run, or hide, but I simply take a deep breath and calm myself down.

“Ah, so you two ended up coming as well, I assumed you’d be here after I heard Miss Emilia was coming.” A familiar voice greets us, I look up to see a familiar redhead and my breathing almost goes completely out of rhythm. I have to turn away so as not to choke.

To the side of me, I can see Al holding in a laugh and I subtly nudge him in the side while glaring at him. Subaru doesn’t seem to notice a thing as he greets Reinhard with a friendly wave.

“We’ve been looking all over for you!” He exclaims.

“Oh! It’s interesting to see you two here!” Another voice calls out. This time, it’s the cat girl from the mansion, only she’s wearing a knight's outfit now.

“Hm? You two know him?” Reinhard asks. Him? That didn’t really fit with the outfit they were wearing last time, but I didn’t want to make any comments so I kept my mouth closed.

“Yeah! Wait, him?” Subaru questions. There goes any subtle tact.

“Mhm, he’s a knight, Felix Argyle.” Reinhard introduces. He looks a bit hesitant, like he’s about to say something else, but keeps his mouth closed in the end.

“Uhm, about the outfit from earlier, do you want us to call you anything else?” I ask Felix awkwardly. I should really know how to do this kind of thing better, but my abysmal social skills keep me from doing anything like this smoothly. Felix looks a bit surprised at the question but eventually lets out an ear-splitting grin.

“Haha, I wouldn’t have said anything if you didn’t ask but, when I wear my knight outfit you can call me Felix, but in my more casual outfit you can call me Ferris, use any pronouns you want.” He states.

“Alright.” Subaru and I both answer. I glance over at Reinhard who sighs in relief.

“We’re you worried about him?” I ask Reinhard. Lowering my voice so the people around us don’t hear.

“Mm, we’re good friends, but sometimes when Felix tells people about himself, they don’t react kindly.” He replies.

“I get it, people are rude to those they don’t understand, so goes the way of human life. History is doomed to repeat itself and all.” I say, waving my hands a bit awkwardly at the end. Man, even though my social skills are in the negative levels I can usually do better than this. Luckily, Reinhard doesn’t seem to take my awkward actions for what they are and instead nods seriously.

While I’m conversing with Reinhard, Julius shows up and takes his place in front of Subaru and me. I can see Subaru is about to give him a nasty glare so I give him a quick pinch and the fiercest glare I can manage, glancing around at the place we’re in to hopefully give him the hint. He’s probably still guilty over dragging me with him so he doesn’t say anything and sits still.

As everyone in the room quiets and stills, a man at the front introduces himself as Marco, the leader of the Imperial Knights, and starts telling the story about how the royal family went into hiding. At least, he was supposed to tell the story, but he barely gets a few lines in before he’s interrupted.

“Look, I’m a bit busy here and don’t have time for a talk like this. As they say in Kararagi, time is money.” A small girl with purple hair states. She’s at the front of the room with the other candidates and speaks in a familiar dialect.

“Seriously, the Kansai dialect?” Subaru mutters.

“Apparently everyone is western Kararagi speaks that way,” Al informs us.

“I agree, although formality is important we are all busy people and it would be better to inform us immediately as to why we are here.” A girl with green hair states. If I remember correctly, the girl with green hair was Crusch Karsten, and the one with purple hair was called Anastasia Hoshin.

“Though, I already have an inkling as to why we are here.” Crusch smirks.

“You do?” One of the Wise Men asks in confusion, surprised at what she said.

“We are all to be rivals one day, so I assume we’re here to get to know each other before that happens,” Crusch observes. It makes sense, but at the same time why would they bring everyone here for something that simple?

My thoughts were proven right as the Wise Men tell Crusch she is incorrect. She immediately takes back her statement, shooting Ferris an annoyed, but teasing glare. Ferris just winks at her back. The discussion on whether to explain it resumes with people taking different sides until Al steps in.

“Hey! I haven’t heard about it! So how about we explain.” Al shouts.

“Miss Priscilla, have you not informed your knight about the royal selection?” One of the Wise Men questions Priscilla, annoyance laced his tone.

“Hmph, whether I tell him or not, you people would just tell us anyway, continue Marco.” She huffs. Marco then launches into an explanation, saying there is a new prophecy that states one of the five capable of being the new leader, choose one priestess to enter a covenant with the dragon. One part of the story makes me tilt my head in confusion and glance toward the four candidates currently standing at the front of the room.

“Five?” Subaru questions, wondering the same thing I was.

“Indeed, there were only four candidates so the royal selection hadn’t really started yet, but today is the start,” Reinhard explains mysteriously, and then he gets called up to the front of the room.

“I greet the Council, I would like to announce that I have located the final candidate in the royal selection, hereby concluding my mission. She is the one I am backing as Queen, Miss Felt.” He announces, bowing down to the Wise Men. The name makes me pause and both Subaru and I turn in shock as the doors open and we see Felt, dressed up in a fancy dress, walking down the aisle of the room.

“No way,” I mutter, watching her in amazement.

“How did they convince her to do this?” Subaru questions. We find out the answer to our question as Reinhard greets Felt and she responds in turn with a kick to his head.

“What the fuck is this! You just dragged me here without explanation!” She curses. It takes all I have not to burst out laughing and beside me, I can see Al and Subaru doing the same. Reinhard just catches her foot and gives her a sad look of disappointment.

“What brought about this behavior?” Reinhard asks gently, slowly bringing her foot down and trying to give her a hint that she shouldn’t act like this in a room full of important people. She either doesn’t get it, or does and decides not to act in turn because the next words out of her mouth are just as volatile as the rest.

“Hah? Do you think you can just ask me something like that when stopping my kick!? I’ve had enough of the shit!” She exclaims.

“Ah, is the dress bothering you, you look lovely in it.” Reinhard desperately tries to fix the situation.

“How’s it going shrimp, guess you can’t change your roots that easily.” Subaru chuckles. Felt glances up and finally notices us.

“Huh? What are you two doing here? Besides that, are your guts feeling better?” She asks, moving her hand around the stomach area.

“I guess you could say that I’ve got some nasty scars now, no thanks to this guy.” I sigh, leaning onto Subaru.

“Get off.” He whines, shoving my arm away, I move to the side out of his reach, smirking.

“Miss Felt, if you are done rekindling old relationships, please step over here.” All three of us stop in place, slightly embarrassed, and Felt walks up to where the other candidates stand.

“So, what exactly is it you want me to do?” She questions the Wise Men, standing with her hands on her hips.

“Though I would like to ask you to be more ladylike, this comes first.” Reinhard sighs, placing something in her hands. When I take a closer look I realize it’s an insignia, just like the one Emilia got stolen. When placed in Felt’s hands it glows for everyone in the room to see.

“As you can see, the dragon gem has recognized Felt as a candidate, I believe it is time we begin the royal selection now that she has been approved,” Reinhard announces. All the knights in the room put a hand over their hearts and bowed slightly except for Al, Subaru, and I. It’s a bit awkward but it’s not like I have a reason to bow.

The room soon bursts into complaints from the other side of the room, all the knights on our side of the room turn to glare at the people standing opposite and the air gets heavy. Before it gets too loud, one of the Wise Men tells the room to be silent and asks Reinhard where he found Felt. When he reveals he found her in the slums, the criticism gets worse.

“Yikes, the atmosphere in here just gets worse and worse,” I mumble anxiously. What almost tips the scales is when Felt and Priscilla get into an argument, with Priscilla almost attacking Felt until Reinhard and Emilia step in the way.

“Hmph, I was only trying to teach an insignificant bitch her place,” Priscilla says.

“What? You won’t even apologize?” Emilia questions in dismay.

“Hah! How about you apologize for your existence!” She shoots back, making Emilia flinch. Yeah, this is pretty bad. Al is rubbing his head in embarrassment mumbling something about enemies and Subaru is practically vibrating with rage as I keep a calming hand on his shoulder.

Eventually, Marco manages to calm the room and starts to call up each royal selection candidate and their knight. Starting with Priscilla and Al, followed by Crusch and Felix, and then Anastasia and Julius. Emilia goes up with Roswaal as her endorser and Felt with her attendant, Reinhard. They all give a small line on what they would do for the kingdom until it reaches Felt.

“Hold on! Who said I wanted to participate in this in the first place!?” She questions irritatedly.

“Hm? Are you saying you withdraw from the selection?” Marco asks.

“Fuck yeah, I am!” Felt curses. The room explodes into dissent, some people criticizing Felt, and others even attacking Emilia, calling her a Half-Devil. I can feel myself starting to get annoyed for them, if I’m feeling this way then…yep. When I turn to Subaru he’s practically writhing with anger. I open my mouth to calm him down, and offer some words of advice, but before I can do that he breaks free from my grasp and runs out into the open.

“Oooh no, oh fuck no.” I panic. When I look around, I see no familiar faces to help me. My best friend has run to the center of the room and I’m left all alone surrounded by people I don’t know. Okay, I’m alright, I can do this. I take deep breaths, trying to keep my eyes from swirling dizzily around.

“Cut the crap! How could you guys treat Emilia like that?! It doesn’t make any sense!” Subaru shouts.

“Subaru! Stop, I can handle this!” Emilia tells him. She turns away and stands before the Wise Men, telling them her name and about Puck, her face is stern and confident. She looks more like someone who belongs there than she did before.

“Miss Emilia, what exactly is this young man's position?” Marco asks. Just when I think the situation is over, Emilia will tell everyone Subaru is her servant or butler or whatever, the fucking idiot walks toward the front of the room.

“My name is Natsuki Subaru, and I am Miss Emilia’s best knight!” He introduces. I can feel the whole room go silent for one excruciatingly long moment. I think I’ve died, there is no other way to put it. Having actually died this pain is almost on a similar level…almost. I want to crawl into a hole and hide until everyone forgets I exist. I want to wash this moment away from my memories so I never have to look back on it again.

“I see, so he’s a knight then.” One of the Wise Men murmurs.

“Hmph, if you are truly Miss Emilia’s knight, then I must ask you something.” Julius declares, stepping out and confronting Subaru. Oh fuck, this is not going to go well at all, will it? Why must my idiot best friend do things like this?

“What do you mean?” Subaru turns to glare at Julius.

“You have just declared yourself a knight in front of the Knights of Lugunica, we know who we are and match that dedication every single day, do you have the resolve to match?” Julius questions. I can see Subaru looking a bit nervous now, probably thinking something along the lines of ‘Why the fuck did I do this’ at least, I hope that’s what he’s thinking.

“I-I want to make Emilia the ruler…no, I will make Emilia the ruler, I may not have much resolve or strength, but I will make Emilia’s wish come true.” It’s a speech that would be almost perfect in any place other than where we are right now. I’m nervously chewing my fingertips as I watch the exchange, trying to think of a way to fix this.

“Don’t you think that answer is too arrogant? Weakness is not something to take pride in, we work every single day to become stronger, can you say the same? Do you think you have what it takes to shame us?” Julius relentlessly shoots down his speech.

“I don’t care, I’m still going to make Emilia the ruler,” Subaru says desperately.

“I don’t understand, why do you continue to stand there despite being denied?” I see a flicker of confusion and sadness run through Julius, and I soon understand that he doesn’t want to do this, it’s something he has to do. He’s a knight, and someone is running around claiming to be a knight while doing foolish things like this, it’s his duty to step up and stop it.

“Because she’s special.” Subaru answers and a flash of acknowledgment runs through Julius. I dare say he even smiled for a fraction of a second, too fast for anyone else to notice.

“While I commend your reason for standing there, I cannot recognize you as a knight. After all, someone who makes their mistress have a face like that…isn’t deserving of it.” Julius states, only then do I notice Emilia’s hurt face. I can see Subaru look down in shame…but.

“Is being a knight really that big of a deal? You just happened to be born into it!” Subaru insults Julius. I can’t help but understand Subaru…I mean, we’ve been through the same things after all. I don’t know how much of this has to do with his experiences back on Earth, but it’s hard not to understand wanting to be accepted and wanting to help your loved ones.

I can’t help but feel pity and sorrow for my friend, even if he wouldn’t want me to feel like that about him. I can feel it in Julius too, I don’t think he hates Subaru at all, in fact, I could see them being friends if the situation were any different, but sadly, it turned out like this.

“Natsuki Subaru, that is an ugly look.” Julius puts the final nail in the coffin as he gets back in line with the other knights. Subaru is completely crushed, even more so when Emilia turns around to apologize to him.

“I’m sorry about this, he is not my knight and I apologize for the interruption, Subaru, let’s go.” Emilia grabs his arm and starts pulling his limp body after her.

“You have…quite the attendant, Miss Emilia.” Someone says mockingly, and Emilia stops.

“He’s…not my attendant.” She states. With that, Subaru is escorted out of the room, and I realize with a shock that I’m still fucking standing here and I really do not want to be standing here.

“U-uhm, s-sorry.” I bow to the room and quickly rush out, I can feel their judgmental eyes on my back as I rush out the door, but there’s not much I could’ve done about that. When I make it out of the room I can see Subaru standing lifelessly by the wall and I quickly walk up to him.

“I really want to dig into you right now about how idiotic that was but first…are you okay?” I ask him. He looks up at me with unshed tears in his eyes and all I can do for him in that moment is hug him. After a few seconds he pulls apart and looks me in the eyes.

“How…how can you just stand there and listen to them call Emilia those things, I just, I couldn’t do it, I don’t know why, I know I was being stupid but I just couldn’t do it.” He says, looking down at the ground in shame.

“Hey, what did I tell you, you are not stupid. Was it incredibly idiotic, yes, but not stupid. You went out there to defend the person you loved which in any other scenario would've been a great decision. But Emilia can take care of herself, she doesn’t need you to protect her like that.” I tell him.

“But every time she runs off, I feel like I’m useless. Like if I can’t be there for her, everything will fall apart. I don’t know how to explain it.” He sighs.

“It’s fine, let’s just calm down for now, okay?”

“Okay.” A ghost of a smile graces his lips before it falls off his face. Then, the doors behind us slam open again and we see someone getting dragged out.

“Old Man Rom?” I ask, moving toward them.

“You know these people?” One of the people dragging him out asks Rom.

“Nope, never met ‘em, must’ve seen my face somewhere.” Rom states, the guard shrugs and continues to drag him away. I give Subaru a worried glance and he shrugs his shoulders in response. A few minutes later, Felix and Reinhard leave the room and bring Subaru and me into a side room to explain what happened.

“Old Man Rom tried to grab Felt? Is he going to be okay?” Subaru asks.

“He might go to jail for a bit, but with Felt’s protection as a royal selection candidate he should be fine,” Reinhard explains.

“So, you’re going to be Felt’s knight now, congratulations,” I tell Reinhard.

“Thank you, I will do my best to back my candidate,” Reinhard replies.

“Sooo, things didn’t go so well in there, did they,” Felix says nervously after a lapse in the conversation. I glare at him before he can say anything else and he quickly shuts up.

“I should’ve jumped in, I was just too shocked to do anything. But it’s okay, we can recover from this…probably.” I add on the last bit hesitantly. I don’t want to lie to anyone in this room, it’ll be extremely hard to get our reputation back after something like this.

“Excuse me for interrupting.” A voice bursts in and we turn to find Julius standing there. I see Subaru’s face twist in displeasure, but he reigns it in, keeping his earlier failures in mind.

“What do you want?” He asks, his voice tired.

“Hm, already an improvement from your earlier actions, though that does make what I’m about to say all the harder. I need you to follow me to that colosseum over there, we’re going to fight.” Julius announces.

“What?! Are you serious, you bastard?! You already knocked me down with words earlier, and now you’re going to fight me! Fine, bring it on!” Subaru states angrily.

“Woah, Woah, this is a terrible idea, how about we make peace.” I try to intervene.

“No way, I was fine with making peace until this bastard walked in and talked about fighting me.” Subaru denies.

“Meet me at the Colosseum in a few minutes then, I need to get ready,” Julius states, walking out of the room. I look between Julius who’s walking away and the angry Subaru, to the helpless expressions on Reinhard and Felix’s faces. I choose to chase after Julius, hoping to fix this somehow.

“Hey! Wait up!” I call out, reaching out for his shoulder and stopping him in the hallway.

“Why are you doing this? You don’t want to fight him…so why?” I question desperately.

“Ah, I didn’t think anyone noticed. You’re right, I don’t want to fight him…but, if I don’t, he might get punished more harshly later on.” Julius reveals.

“What?” I ask in confusion.

“He insulted a lot of people today, he could even be executed for what he’s done. But, if I were to put myself in the line of fire and fight him in front of the knights, then they might consider it punishment enough. Fighting someone as weak as him is a source of shame for me as well, after all.” Julius explains.

“Fuck…Fuck!” I curse, slamming my fist into the wall.

“For the record, I don’t think he’s a bad person, just a little misguided. I also think you’re a good friend to him, maybe one day we can all get along…though I don’t expect something like that after this.” He says sadly. With that, he takes off down the hallway again and I return to the room in frustration.

When we get to the Colosseum, I take a seat in the audience facing Subaru. I watch as Felix and Reinhard give Julius and Subaru a wooden sword each before they head toward the audience. They make their way toward me as Julius declares his fight to the Colosseum. A cheer rolling through the crowd.

“This is sick…why does it have to be this way?” I mutter to myself.

“Because people want to see someone who insulted them get punished, they enjoy activities like this in black and white, never thinking about the other side of it,” Reinhard answers.

“But I agree, something like this is cruel, I wish Julius didn’t have to do it.” Felix sighs. The fight starts with a bang, Subaru immediately throwing dirt at Julius to get the upper hand. I feel the first blow bang into my stomach and I flinch backward. He rolls to the floor, scraping his face across the ground and my nose starts bleeding.

“Are you okay?” Felix calls out in shock.

“I’m fine, something like this won’t bother me.” I wave him off.

“This, but why are you bleeding?” Felix questions with worry.

“Think of it like our injuries are connected, every blow he feels, I feel as well,” I answer, pointing to Subaru.

“But then, we have to call off the fight, someone innocent is getting injured!” Reinhard moves to stop the fight but I grab onto his shoulder.

“Don’t, I don’t agree with this any more than the next person, but I know it has to happen. I don’t mind getting a few injuries out of it, besides, he knows. We’re in this together for better or worse, I can handle it.” I tell him. He scans my eyes and eventually moves to stand next to me.

“Let me heal you at least,” Felix begs.

“Don’t waste your energy, healing doesn’t work very well on me and you’ll probably get called to attend to him.” I wave him off. The fight is still going and I feel blow after blow as it rains down upon Subaru. Ah, it really does hurt, doesn’t it? I can’t imagine what he’s feeling.

When we’re battered enough that I feel like passing out I suddenly hear a voice shout above the din of the crowd as they cheer for Julius.

“Subaru! Don’t!” Emilia cries out. I can see him turn to her for a second, I can see Julius turn as well. I can see Subaru think, for a second he rises as if to strike again, but then he meets my eyes as I stare down at him, blood leaking from my mouth. And he stops, he stays still, kneeling with his sword carrying his weight. Julius brings his attention back to Subaru.

“I guess, it’s time to finish it!” Julius shouts to the crowd. I can barely see it, but he whispers something to Subaru as he goes in for the finishing blow. The last thing I see before passing out is Subaru’s eyes, sad but prideful, that’s when I realize I was smiling at him.

When I wake up in an unfamiliar bed with bandages on my face, the first thing I do is rush out of the room to look for Subaru. I find a room across from mine and quickly grab the doorknob to enter it, but pause. There are voices, barely discernible, so I lean my ear against the door to hear.

“Subaru, I think we need to talk…why did you fight with Julius?” Emilia asks.

“At first…I wanted to get back at him, I was mad at the things he said to me, but mostly I was mad about the things he said about me and you, I don’t know why but it made me so angry.” Subaru responds.

“Just for that?” Emilia asks. I hear a pause, it’s loud, despite making no noise at all.

“You…wouldn’t understand.” Subaru eventually says. It’s true, I don’t think anyone would quite understand exactly what he was feeling in those moments.

“I see. Well, Roswaal and I will be heading back to the mansion in the morning, we’ll bring Erik with us if he wants to go. You will stay here until you recover as per our agreement.” Emilia tells him.

“What? But…why? I-” She cuts him off before he can say more.

“You came here to be healed, and besides, whenever you’re with me, you push yourself,” Emilia says.

“But, wait a minute! I just wanted to do something for you…I just…it feels weird when I can’t do something for you. It feels like I’m the same useless person I always was, you’re the person that brought me out of that feeling, I just wanted…” He trails off.

“See, it was for yourself, wasn’t it? I never asked you to do any of those things! I asked you to stay here with Rem and Erik!” She shouts.

“I was wrong…but you also don’t understand! The things I do for you, the things I’ve done for you, I do them all because you helped me! It’s been so hard.” He sobs.

“I…helped you?” Emilia questions.

“Yes! From the very beginning, more than anything, the things you’ve said, the things you’ve done!” He exclaims.

“I don’t understand.” She says.

“Of course you don’t, but from the beginning, everything I’ve done is to repay you, for saving me.” He replies.

“I’m telling you I don’t understand!” Emilia shouts.

“But! From the beginning, when I first came here, when I-” He goes silent as I feel something clench at my heart.

“See! You never tell me anything!” Emilia cries out. It feels unfair, I know how much he’s wanted to tell her everything from the beginning, but he couldn’t, he can’t.

“The version of me that you think I am must be amazing. She can understand you and she can help you with all your pain and sadness, but I’m not that person, I can’t be that person, I can’t understand unless you tell me.” She says the last part gently, like an offering of peace. Only, it’s the one offering he could never take even if he wanted to.

I can hear that he wants to say something but as soon as the first words come out and that clenching happens to my heart, his words change. He talks and he talks about everything he did for her, trying to make it better, but all it comes out as is someone who’s pathetic.

“Mhm, I do owe you a lot of debts, so I’ll repay them right now,” Emilia replies calmly.

“You know, I had thought that maybe you could’ve treated me without special treatment, that’d you look at me the same way you look at everyone else.” Her voice gets closer to me, she’s walking toward the door.

“...I don’t even know anymore.” He replies. I step back from the door as Emilia walks through it, she shows an expression of surprise that I’m there, but it quickly morphs into one of sadness.

“I wanted to say you’re welcome to come back to the mansion with us…if not, you can at least stay until Rem has to leave and make your choice then.” Emilia tells me, what she’s implying is clear, the mansion, or Subaru.

“I…I’m sorry…I need to be with him…right now…I can’t…leave him.” The words come out slowly, I keep my eyes on the ground, avoiding hers. She walks forward and tilts my face up until I’m looking at her.

“You don’t have to apologize, I hope to see you back at the mansion, but if you don’t come back, I had fun.” She musters her best smile before letting go of me and leaving. I stare after her as she leaves and take a deep breath to prepare to step into the room.

Chapter Text

When I push open the door, Subaru is crying into the bedsheets. I close the door softly and walk over, slipping into the bed next to him and tilting his head so he’s crying into my shoulder instead. I pat his back as rough, messy sobs heave out of him. I try not to think of how uncomfortable it is to feel my shoulder getting wet; it feels like the worst thing to focus on at the moment. After a bit, he pulls away slightly, still keeping his head on my shoulder but tilting his face away from me so he can speak.

“I really fucked up didn’t I?” He asks.

“Hm, probably,” I respond.

“That was a rhetorical question asshole.” He says, lightly smacking me.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” I chuckle.

“I don’t know, maybe be comforting and tell me I didn’t completely fuck up.” He has a small smile on his face, but after a beat of silence, it twists into a frown again.

“But seriously, I just can’t stop fucking things up. One after the other, I know I should’ve done anything else, said anything, but I couldn’t. I just wanted to tell her what happened…but I couldn’t.” A few rogue tear drops drip down, and he wipes them with his sleeve.

“Well, it’s not all bad. It could’ve been worse, all we need to do is work toward a brighter future.” It sounds cheesy, even to my own ears, which makes it worse because I do mean the things I say…ugh.

“Where did you find that phrase? A poster in a therapy office?” He questions.

“...Now that I think about it…” I trail off, I’m pretty sure one of my past therapists did have a poster like that hanging in her office.

“No way!” He shouts in surprise.

“That doesn’t matter right now! Back to the topic at hand.” I tell him.

“Ugh, fine…I just, I don’t know, back with Julius, I really wanted to make Emilia proud of me. To make everyone proud of me…to make you proud of me.” He says, growing smaller each time he says it. His words make me blink in surprise…why would he want me to be proud of him?

“That…why me? I don’t know how you could want me to be proud of you when I’ve done nothing but be a shitty friend.” I say, shaking my head in exasperation.

“You haven’t been a shitty friend, I mean, if you weren’t here for me I’m sure I would’ve embarrassed myself like ten times over.” He says, looking up at me in shock.

“No, I’ve been a shitty friend. The first day we were here, I tried to kill myself because I couldn’t take it. At the mansion, I completely broke down and almost left you, and even now, I couldn’t step up for you or make sure you didn’t do anything stupid at that conference. I could’ve done something, but I didn’t, because I was a coward.” I explain, I didn’t even notice my hand tightening around my own arm until Subaru guides it away and I spot the faint marks.

“Then, I guess we both have stuff we have to work on.” He says, a bright smile on his face. It didn’t match the rest of him, with bruises and bandages, with tear-streaked cheeks and red eyes, but it was one of the most beautiful smiles I’ve ever seen.

“Guess we’ll just have to work on it together then,” I say, smiling in response. I watch that night as he falls asleep, before moving to head to my own room, but Subaru still has a grasp on my arm so I sigh and wiggle my way under the covers instead.

“G’night, idiot,” I tell him, patting his head before closing my eyes. The next day, we wake up to Rem knocking on the door, asking if she can come in. I groggily sit up, rubbing my eyes awake.

“Oi, someone’s knocking on the door.” I push Subaru, trying to get him to wake up.

“You answer it, I wanna sleep for five more minutes.” He grumbles.

“When did you become this lazy? Get up!” I shout, pushing him off the bed.

“Ack!” He squeals, jumping off the floor and shooting me a glare as I snicker at him. He opens the door, and Rem is standing there, a pleasant smile on her face.

“I’m here to tell you both to get ready, as we will be heading to the Karsten mansion for Subaru’s treatment soon.” Rem states.

“Ah, thank you for telling me, Rem,” Subaru says, giving her a thumbs up. She hands Subaru some clothes she was holding in her hands before closing the door and leaving.

“Hm? Oh, I finally don't have to wear the dumb butler uniform anymore!” I exclaim joyfully. My daggers are on top of the pile. I had been changed into medical clothing, and I deemed finding Subaru more important at the moment, so I ended up leaving them behind. Subaru wastes no time stripping down, and I turn away at the last moment, giving him some privacy.

“Is it fine if I change in here? I’m too lazy to go to another room.” I say.

“Huh? Yeah, it’s fine, " He replies. I try to get changed as quickly as possible anyway; I’m barely comfortable with something like this…but I thought being in life-or-death situations every few weeks brought with it a lot of trust.

“Hell yeah! Looking good.” I say to myself in the mirror.

“And you look ever so dumb in that tracksuit.” I jest. Glancing over my shoulder in the mirror, and locking eyes with Subaru.

“Seriously?” He deadpans.

“Hey, you’ve been wearing that thing for weeks, and the outfits in this world are cool as shit. A tracksuit just can’t compare to the amazingness that is this.” I tell him, waving my hands down my body. Subaru just sighs and grabs my hand, leading me out the door to where Rem is waiting.

“I think you look great, Subaru,” Rem states as we approach her.

“See! You’re just jealous of my amazing good looks.” Subaru teases.

“Yeah, right! Rem’s just blinded by sisterly love, it takes a real best friend to insult you.” I shoot back.

“If Rem’s like a sister to me, then what about Ram?” Subaru asks.

“Nonono, you got me wrong. Rem is like the little sister who looks up to her older brother like he’s the best thing in the world. Ram is like the older sister who despises her younger siblings for pretty much everything.” I explain.

“Are you sure you want to insult my sister in front of me?” Rem asks, sending me an icy look.

“Knowing Ram, she already knows I’ve insulted her and will make it her mission to deliver me an insult ten times worse when I see her again.” I sigh. Rem and Subaru simply nod their heads in agreement.

When we get to the Karsten mansion, I can’t help but stare at everything in shock. Is this what it feels like to be the only broke person in a group of rich friends? I feel like I’m taking advantage of them…hmm. Well, it wouldn’t hurt to take advantage a bit, they are rich after all.

“Are you thinking of taking advantage of our hospitality?” A voice cuts right into my heart and I freeze in place.

“Huh? Wha? Why would you think that?” I stammer nervously. Glancing at the owner of the voice, Crusch Karsten.

“Pfft, it’s fine, you will be treated as a guest here for as long as the treatment is ongoing, there’s no need to look so nervous, I was simply joking.” Crusch chuckles.

“Still, it’s scary how accurate you were,” I reply, rubbing the back of my head in relief.

“Were you seriously thinking of taking advantage of them?” Subaru asks, dumbfounded.

“I mean…kind of? But not in a bad way, just, maybe I would take some food from the kitchen late at night or something.” I respond.

“You get access to a mansion like this and the only thing you were thinking of taking advantage of was the food?” This time, the voice comes from Ferris, who is standing to the right of Crusch.

“...Yes?” The answer comes out as more of a question than anything else.

“Hahahaha, you guys are a lively bunch considering what happened the other day.” Wilhelm laughs. He was standing on Crusch’s left.

“It’s good to see you, too, Wilhelm. I was feeling pretty down about myself, but I had someone talk some sense into me. I may not be back to a hundred percent, but I’m willing to try.” Subaru states, shooting Wilhelm a confident glance.

“Oho, then, maybe you two would like to take up training with me.” Wilhelm offers.

“We can do that?” I ask him, glancing at Crusch.

“I don’t mind, but you might want to ask Ferris first,” Crusch replies, giving Ferris the side-eye.

“I do not mind, but we should check on your gate and injuries first,” Ferris replies, nodding.

“Also, I need to talk with both of you.” She says, shooting us a glare. Yikes.

“Are we in trouble?” Subaru asks her, a nervous sweat runs down the side of his face.

“Hmph, maybe.” She responds mysteriously.

“Hahaha, well let’s all step inside first and get things checked out, then you two can head off with Wilhelm,” Crusch says, waving us inside.

“Thank you for the hospitality.” We had all greeted Crusch earlier, but we all bowed when entering, with Crusch giving us a nod in return.

“You sure Rem can’t come with us, I could use a relaxing face to look at and some comfort as I get grilled by you,” Subaru begs Ferris.

“Nope!” Ferries denies cheerfully, her face pulled up in a smirk.

“...I’m going to die, aren’t I?” Subaru sighs.

“Oi, did you forget that we probably shouldn’t say things like that?” I tell him, smacking him on the shoulder.

“Right, right…wait, we didn’t talk about anything like that at all!?” He exclaims.

“We didn’t? Well I’m making it a rule from here on out, no mentioning dying anymore.” I announce earnestly.

“You say that, but I bet you’re going to make some joke about killing yourself within the next five minutes that will make your rule completely moot.” Subaru teases.

“Ah shit, you’re right,” I mutter. Somehow, dying a few times didn’t completely get rid of my dark humor, though I usually keep it on wraps around the others, only letting it shine around Subaru.

“Get in there and stop delaying.” Rem order, suddenly pushing us from behind into the room Ferris had walked into earlier.

“Alright, alright,” I mumble as she shuts the door behind us. A bed and two chairs are set up. Ferris is sitting in one chair, and she motions for me to sit in the other as Subaru gets on the bed.

“The first thing I want to ask about is this pain-sharing thing between you two. How did this come to be?” Ferris asks. Subaru and I look at each other, and we both end up shrugging as neither of us really has any idea.

“We don’t have a clue, one day we were living completely separate lives, and then the next, bam! We’re suddenly sharing our injuries and pain.” I explain by waving my hands around and then crashing them together for emphasis.

“I see, I already checked both of your bodies with Water Magic at an earlier date, so it’s not something to do with either of your gates. The best guess I can make is it’s either a Divine Protection, or something to do with your Od, which I don’t want to mess with.” Ferris explains.

“Oh…” I say dumbly.

“I think I got it, the Od is like our soul, right? So that just means our souls are connected.” Subaru says, snapping his fingers.

“That sounds kind of gross,” I tell him.

“Does it?” He questions.

“That makes it sound like we’re soulmates or something, which, ew,” I reply.

“Hey, hey, hey! You don’t have to be so disgusted!” He exclaims with fake outrage.

“Though he used simple terms, Subaru is close to what my guess is, but it’s not something that is easy to mess with so we’ll have to table that to another day. The next thing I want to talk to you about is the fight with Julius.” Ferris states. I can see Subaru cringe slightly, but he doesn’t back down from Feriss’s gaze.

“Julius is a good friend of mine, and frankly, I can’t stand what you did. Especially since it got someone else injured as well. I wouldn’t have said anything if you came in here looking as defeated as you did the other day…but, I can tell you’re in a better headspace now.” Ferris sighs.

“I…I appreciate you telling me that. I made a lot of mistakes, I was an idiot. But I can’t go and take back the things I did, so I’ll do better, I’ll be better, and I’ll learn. I don’t expect you to take any apology of mine, or even look at me as a friend, but I hope you’ll at least believe me when I tell you that.” Subaru says, looking into her eyes the entire time. She blinks in shock, but then a small smile crawls onto her face.

“There is hope for you yet, Natsukie Subaru. Now then, onto the third thing, I’m going to heal your gate, but you, I can’t fix yours. Are you alright with that? I know Miss Emilia asked about fixing your gate, but I don’t think there is anything I can do.” Ferris says, turning to me.

“Oh, no, I’m fine. I had no idea that was even in the plan.” I reply. I didn’t know Emilia said that for me, but I’m grateful she was thinking about me. After our conversation, I stay with Subaru as Ferris starts the process of healing his gate, and when we’re done, we go to find Wilhelm.

“Although you don’t have much, I believe both of you have adequate experience with fighting, so I’ll do a small one-on-one with each of you to figure out what we need to work on,” Wilhelm says. We’re out on the front lawn of the Karsten mansion, which is massive by the way. I mean, who even needs this much space?

“So does this mean I get to learn proper fantasy swordsmanship?” Subaru smiles with glee.

“Have you done stuff with swords before?” I ask him, I catch the disgusted expression on his face, and hit him lightly on the head.

“You know what I meant!” I scolded him.

“Yeah, I did back in our hometown, but I wasn’t that good. I mean, I could get all the basics down, but it felt like I reached a stopping point and couldn’t grow with it anymore.” Subaru explains.

“I see, then, would you prefer to try a different weapon in our battle?” Wilhelm asks him.

“Sure, what do you have?” Subaru asks, and Wilhelm leads him over to the weapons rack. Subaru looks over the few weapons he has before eventually settling on one, the whip.

“I think I’d do better with this.” He announces.

“A good versatile weapon, though you’ll probably need more training in order to use it to its full potential, nonetheless, come at me,” Wilhelm says, backing up and raising the wooden training sword. I backed up in order to properly watch the fight without getting injured in the process.

“Alright!” Subaru shouts, starting it. Wilhelm rushes forward, ready to take the first strike and Subaru quickly hops back, cracking the whip out to try and hit Wilhelm. It gets close, but doesn’t quite get near enough to Wilhelm to hit him, when Subaru notices this, he hurriedly ducks under Wilhelm’s first sword strike.

As the fight goes on, two things are obvious: first, Wilhelm is definitely holding back. Though considering if he didn’t, he would probably injure us I think that’s fair. The next is that Subaru has no idea how to use the whip. But, some of his strikes manage to get close to Wilhelm, which I’m sure means that he has potential, but I’ve never used a whip before so I can’t tell.

When the fight ends with Wilhelm’s win, I’m almost a bit scared to step up to the field. But I grab out some wooden daggers nonetheless and approach the field as Subaru stands back. Rem had arrived right at the end of the fight, and Subaru approached her to start a conversation.

“Ahem, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to ask you to take it easy on me?” I ask him in a teasing tone.

“Haha! That’s a given.” He responds. The air changes within a second, and then Wilhelm is rushing at me. I block his first strike with the daggers as he puts more strength into it. I move one of the daggers to the side, making the sword glance off it as I swing forward with the other one.

Wilhelm steps back just in time as his sword sweeps in for a side hit, but I duck down and parry the sword up with one of my daggers, launching off the ground for a gut shot. Wilhelm quickly twists the sword and tries to bring the pommel down on my head, but I spot it just in time and roll to the side.

I launch back to my feet just as Wilhelm tries to hit my stomach with the sword, and I take the chance to back up a few steps before rushing in again. His swordplay is fantastic, even though he’s going easy on me, I can still tell it’s something he puts his all into and truly admires.

We exchange a few more blows, and I start sweating from the heat of exertion. I want to end this soon before my muscles collapse; they can barely take this high-stakes fighting, and I can feel them crying out in pain. I spot my chance after I parry another of Wilhelm's blows, his eyes are tracking my open dagger, so I make a split-second decision…and drop the dagger. His eyes follow it for a flash of a second as I bring the remaining dagger toward with speed I didn’t even know I had. The next second…is death. Or at least, that’s what a feels like. A cold chill runs through my body, and before I realize it, I’m lying on my back with Wilhelm’s sword to my neck.

“Ah, sorry for that, the last strike of yours was impressive and I couldn’t keep my instincts in check.” He apologizes, tossing the sword to the side and holding out a hand to let me up.

“Uuuuh, yeah,” I answer, I’m breathing heavily, completely out of breath. I glance at my arm that held the dagger from before, it’s stinging slightly after Wilhelm hit it, but there’s nothing else weird about it.

“Woooah! That was so cool!” Subaru shouts, running over and making me fall to the ground again as he jumps at me for a hug.

“I just stood up! Get off!” I shout, pushing him away from me.

“That was very impressive. It seems some of the training with my sister has paid off.” Rem congratulates me.

“Training? All she does is make me run around and do push-ups.” I grumble, taking Subaru’s hand as he pulls me up again.

“Ahem, it seems someone wants to see you both.” A voice cuts in, and we glance over to see one of the guards from the gate of the property walking toward us. Subaru and I glance at each other in confusion, but Wilhelm urges us on, so we go, with Rem following behind.

When we reach the gate, the guard backs off a bit, and we find Reinhard standing there. He has a troubled expression on his face, but it changes back to a fake smile when he hears us approaching.

“Before we discuss anything, I want to apologize for everything that happened,” Reinhard says, suddenly bowing.

“Woah, woah, you don’t have to apologize for anything, it wasn’t your fault.” Subaru panics, waving his hands around.

“Yeah, if you blame yourself for every little thing almost completely unrelated to you, you’ll get wrinkles,” I tell him.

“Is that so?” He chuckles, rising from his bow.

“Nonetheless, both you and Julius are my friends, and as your guys’s friend, I should’ve intervened in any disagreement. It was a meaningless duel.” Reinhard states, a flash of guilt crossing his face. His words make Subaru freeze for a second, but out of everyone standing there, the person I’m most surprised at is myself.

“It wasn’t meaningless,” I state.

“Pardon?” Everyone looks surprised at my reaction, as I’m full-on glaring at the redhead in front of me.

“I said, the duel wasn’t meaningless. No duel is ever meaningless. People fight for things all the time. Their lives, their honor, love, and even over something as simple as food. For Subaru and Julius, that duel wasn’t meaningless. Julius put his job and pride as a knight at stake in order to help Subaru, and Subaru put his pride at stake to fight for something he believed in. Even if it was wrong, even if it hurt people, it wasn’t meaningless.” I tell him, surging forward with every step until I’m right in front of him.

“I don’t know what kind of life you’ve lived, and I don’t care if I think you're handsome. I will not hesitate to deck your pretty face with this fist if you declare something like that again, got it?” I ask harshly.

“Uhm, yes, I’m very sorry, it seems I let my personal feelings over fights affect me, I apologize for that.” For the second time, Reinhard bows to us, and as the heat of anger cools down, I suddenly realize what I did.

“Uh, um, I really didn’t mean to sound that harsh. Holy shit, what the fuck did I just say out loud!” I immediately start panicking.

“I think you called him handsome and pretty? Was it?” Subaru teases.

“Argh! Shut up!” I dash over to Subaru and slap my hand over his mouth as Reinhard rises from the bow again.

“I appreciate the compliments in the midst of your wonderful speech,” Reinhard states.

“Uhmmm, yeah…thanks,” I mumble, my face turning completely red.

“So, what else did you come here to say, Reinhard?” Subaru asks, steering the conversation back to its original topic.

“I’m not sure if you would be open to it, but I believe it has nothing to do with my personal feelings on fighting, I would like it if you had a talk with Julius,” Reinhard reveals his purpose for coming here. I can see Subaru’s face twist with slight displeasure.

“C’mon, it could be good for you.” I encourage.

“Ugggggh, fine.” Subaru agrees.

“Great! I will let Julius know immediately. Come to this cafe in about an hour.” Reinhard says, handing Subaru a paper with an address on it before taking off down the road.

“Do I really have to talk with that guy?” Subaru whines.

“It’ll be good for the both of you,” I tell him, pushing him back inside the Karsten mansion.

“Indeed, talking out your feelings will certainly help you and Mr. Julius get closer.” Rem states cheerfully.

“I feel like there is something really wrong with what you just said, but I’m going to keep my mouth shut,” Subaru says, shooting her a side glance as Rem just tilts her head in confusion.

“Haha, I’d pay to see that! The world's greatest enemies to lovers story.” I grab Subaru and put my arm around his shoulder, spreading my hand through the sky like I’m revealing a new movie title.

“Yuck! You just saying that makes me want to throw up, it’ll never happen.” Subaru pulls away in disgust.

“You say that, but you totally just set a flag for yourself!” I cackle, skipping off as Subaru chases after me, trying to tackle me to the ground.

About an hour later we arrive at the cafe in question and quickly find the table Julius and Reinhard are sitting at. Two handsome guys together like that isn’t easy to miss, and the rest of the cafe is staring at them in awe.

“You couldn’t have picked somewhere less crowded? I swear, everyone in here only has eyes for you two.” I whine, taking a seat across from Reinhard.

“Sorry, this is the only place in the capital that I know.” Reinhard apologizes. The table immediately goes silent, and I turn to find Subaru and Julius staring at each other like they don’t know what to say next.

“How about you start with a damn apology.” I chide Subaru.

“Ah, right. I’m sorry about all the stuff I said during that conference. I didn’t really mean any of it, to be honest. I was mostly just jealous…I still think you’re a bastard, though.” He adds on at the end.

“I hope you don’t apologize to everyone like that.” Julius teases.

“Nah, just the people he really likes,” I tell him with a smirk.

“If you don’t shut the fuck up I will tell everyone at this table who you have a massive crush on,” Subaru says with a glare.

“Shutting up,” I say, putting my hands up in surrender.

“Well then, I also apologize for humiliating you in front of everyone and then doing that further with the duel. It wasn’t the proper thing to do, and despite getting on my nerves, you still didn’t deserve it.” Julius apologizes.

“Soooo, what are we, like, friends now?” Subaru asks.

“...”

“You know what, nope, let’s keep it at acquaintances, you good with that?” Subaru says instead, holding out his hand for a shake.

“I agree,” Julius replies, shaking Subaru’s hand.

“Good, we’ve all made peace. Now let’s order some food, I’m starving! Whoever is richest gets to pay because I highly doubt my monthly pay is enough to spend on a meal for four at a cafe in the capital.” I cut in.

The food we order is delicious, and overall, the meal is pretty pleasant. Despite Subaru and Julius not really liking each other, Reinhard secretly informed me that he’s never seen Julius tease someone as much as he teases Subaru.

“Yeah, I think they’re just two big tsunderes that don’t want to admit they’d be really good friends,” I tell him.

“Tsundere?” Reinhard questions.

“Ah, something from our hometown, it basically means someone who says one thing, but acts another way,” I explain.

“I see.” Reinhard nods his head. When we leave, I wave goodbye to the duo and we make our way back to the Karsten mansion, where Rem greets us when we arrive.

“How did it go?” She asks.

“Oh, you should’ve seen it. I’ve never seen a worse apology, but somehow, it fucking worked!” I exclaim in exasperation.

“Really.” Rem shoots Subaru a disappointed look.

“What’s that face for?! I apologized, and it all worked out, didn’t it?” Subaru squawks.

“I guess so. But if you ever apologize to me like that, I will have no choice but to get my sister involved.” Rem smirks.

“Hk! No fair!” Subaru whines. The next two days passed much like this one did. Ferris goes to heal his gate, and then we train with Wilhelm a bit. Despite it only being two days, Wilhelm was actually pretty helpful, proposing a proper training plan and how to best hone our skills. It got to the point where Subaru could actually hit something with a whip, and I didn’t become as tired while fighting. It was dusk and Subaru was sitting with his head in Rem’s lap as I rested my head on her shoulder.

“Don’t you two think you are a bit presumptuous? Leaning over me like this?” Rem asks with a chuckle.

“Nah, if you truly cared, you would’ve easily kicked us with your scary fighting skills,” I tell her.

“I’m sorry for making you guys stay with me like this, I know I’m pathetic.” Subaru suddenly says, a look of intense guilt on his face, probably thinking about what happened three days ago.

“Hey man, I don’t know if you remember, but I chose to stay with you. I was given the choice to go back with Emilia, but I couldn’t do something like that to my best friend.” I reply, ruffling his hair.

“Ak! Stop that! What about you, Rem?” He asks, wrestling my hand away from his head.

“I think, even if I wasn’t forced to stay here, I would still stay. Because even if you and everyone else thinks you’re weak and pathetic, I would simply agree and still stay with you to see you overcome it and make it through.” Rem states.

“But what if I can’t overcome it?” Subaru asks, it comes out as a whisper.

“Do you really think we’d give up on you? Don’t count us out that easily, it’d only take you fucking up on an insane level to truly get rid of me.” I chuckle.

“So it’s possible?” He questions, picking out the worst possible detail.

“Did you listen to any other part you dumbass!? That’s not what I said, now let’s go raid the pantry, I’m looking forward to taking advantage of our hosts before we have to leave.” I say, standing up.

“Would you two like to run some errands with me tomorrow?” Rem suddenly asks.

“Sure.” “Why not?” We both answer.

The next day, I’m standing in front of the same appa merchant stand with Rem as the appa merchant shirks off to go talk with Subaru who’s standing in front of a bulletin board.

“I don’t think I ever properly thanked you for talking sense into me back in the forest.” Rem suddenly says.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. You don’t have to, I’m only doing what anyone else would do in that situation.” I respond, waving my hands in embarrassment.

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t say thank you to them as well. I’m also glad that you’re there for Subaru, I’m afraid that if you weren’t here…I wouldn’t have been able to help him as well.” Rem states sadly.

“...Maybe, but knowing you, and knowing him, I’m sure you would’ve been the reason he pulled himself together in the end,” I reply, shaking my head. Before she can reply, Subaru and the merchant come walking back, we grab the appas we want to buy and start our walk back to the Karsten mansion.

Even if our stay with everyone from the Karsten mansion is almost over, I can’t help but cherish the time we’ve spent here. I feel like we’re really taking a step forward in this world, and even if we don’t end up going back to Emilia, I think we could easily make a start from here. With that thought in mind, I jump up on Subaru’s back and force him to give me a piggyback ride back while Rem chuckles as she watches us.

Chapter Text

My head swims as I make my way across the room over to Subaru. It was my first time having alcohol in a while after I snuck some from my parents when I was younger. Back then, it was only a little bit of beer, so it wasn’t enough to make me drunk…this time, though.

“I think I’ve had too much,” I whine, collapsing into his back.

“You’re telling me.” He scoffs, moving his head so I can rest mine on his shoulder.

“Ah…but, why don’t you have some? I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s tasty but…” I trail off, forgetting what I want to say next.

“No thank you. Seeing everyone else in the room has convinced me that alcohol is a big no; besides, I’m still underage. And even more than that, habits like drinking are probably not the best things for us to get into.” He states. I give the room a cursory glance. Rem and Emilia are on the ground, cuddled up next to each other. Ram looks fine, and Roswaal is pouring a drink on Puck.

“Right, right, I probably won’t drink that stuff ever again anyway, it was too…urgh, what’s the word?” I try to fish for it in my brain, but the word doesn’t appear in my head like I want it to.

“Bitter?” Subaru tries.

“Nono, more like…burny, that’s it!” I raise my voice in triumph.

“Don’t shout next to my ear like that, plus, your breath smells.” Subaru groans, shoving me away. I peel away from him, intending to sit down in a chair, when I suddenly trip over my feet (not my fault, there were four of them) and go tilting toward the ground.

Unfortunately, there was also a table in the way, which I clunked my head on. As I fall to the floor, I can just spot Subaru clutching his head in pain as I black out on the floor.

“Ughhhh, my head.” A bit later, I have no idea how long, considering I was passed out, I manage to claw myself back to wakefulness with a splitting headache.

“Did you have to get me caught up in that as well?” Subaru asks from the side, I turn to look at him, when something makes me pause. More specifically, the fact that I don’t recognize our location at all. Instead of the mansion I had grown used to, we were sitting on a grey floor in a dense white fog, with nothing to be seen around us.

“Uhmmm, where are we?” I question Subaru, glancing around.

“...I have no idea.” He mumbles after a beat.

“Riiiight, then, for our own sanity, we are going to pretend this is some weird joint dream for now, alright?” My voice comes out a bit higher than I meant it to, but I’m trying not to get hysterical, so it’s the best I can do.

“Alright,” Subaru answers, standing up and brushing off his pants. He holds out his hand to me and I gladly take it, trying to get a better look through the fog as I do.

“So, considering we are stuck here for now, the best thing to do is walk forward,” I state confidently, trying to walk off. Subaru grabs onto my shoulder before I can get very far. I turn back to give him a confused stare.

“We’re in a strange foggy place and you think the best thing to do is walk forward?” He deadpans.

“...Yes?” I reply.

“...You’re speaking my language.” He grins, clapping me on the shoulder and walking alongside me. And so we start our walk, I don’t know how much time passes but we start to play dumb games while walking along. We started with I Spy but didn’t get very far, soon moving on to different word association games. When, finally, out of the fog ahead of us, I spot a dark shape moving closer.

“Look, look, someone’s there! Hey! Over here!” I shout, before Subaru grabs me and clamps a hand over my mouth.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He questions.

“Ah, yeah, probably shouldn’t shout the strange figures in this situation,” I mumble. Subaru can only slap his forehead at that. The dark shapes move closer after my outburst, and as we wait there awkwardly, trying to decide whether to book it in the other direction or not, the figures step out of the fog and reveal themselves to be…us.

“Right, this is a hundred percent a dream, I’m dreaming! Pinch me, it won’t hurt.” I blabber, holding my arm out to Subaru. He’s too busy staring at the two people in front of us to pay me any attention.

“Hoh? There are other people here?” The other Subaru speaks first, giving us a glance over. The other version of…us, holy fuck that is weird to think, are wearing strange robes as they stare at us with an expression of wariness.

“Other people, I’m not sure you can classify looking at ourselves as other people.” Other me states.

“I guess, well, are you two going to speak?” Other Subaru snaps.

“Uh…uhm, this is a dream, right?” I panic, sweat dripping down my face.

“Call it what you want, I’m not even sure how we ended up here in the first place, do you two have answers?” Other Subaru asks, giving us each a glare.

“Nope, we just hit our head on a table and woke up here.” Subaru answers.

“Useless.” Other me says, clicking his tongue…fucking rude.

“Hey! You’re just as clueless as we are, doesn’t that make you the useless ones!” Subaru shouts indignantly.

“Say that again and I’ll cut your tongue out.” Other me threatens, holding up a pair of daggers I didn’t even know he had on him.

“Woah, woah, I think we’ve gotten a bit confused here. How about we take things slow, obviously you guys look exactly like us so maybe we start there?” I intervene, trying to calm everyone down.

“Fine, put those things away. How many times have I told you not to start with threats?” Other Subaru admonishes, glaring at Other me.

“Ahem, I’m Natsuki Subaru, though of course you knew that, this is Erik, and who might you two be?” Subaru questions, doing a stupid pose again. My face scrunches up in embarrassment, and I scoot slightly away.

“Hmph, Natsuki Subaru, Sin Archbishop of Pride. And this is Erik, my subordinate, you could say.” Other Subaru introduces.

“Sin, Archbishop? Is that an important position?” I ask, earning me a glare from Other me.

“Hm? Haven’t you two heard of the Witch Cult…well, whatever, it’s not important.” Other Subaru shrugs.

“I think I’ve figured it out, you guys must be alternate versions of us that our brains conjured up in this weird joint dream.” Subaru suddenly snaps his fingers.

“Joint dream? Again, call it what you want, but you’re probably correct…though, who’s to say you aren’t alternate versions of us?” Other Subaru puts a thoughtful hand up to his face as he looks over at us.

“Because.” I shrug.

“Ridiculous.” Other me sighs.

“So, what did you guys do to make you turn out sooo…different?” Subaru asks.

“Does it matter? I’ve accomplished my goals.” Other Subaru snaps.

“Geez, what’s got you so testy?” I mutter.

“Though I’m not as hasty as my subordinate I will not hesitate to gut you like a fish, trash.” Other Subaru threatens.

“Okay, okay, I can see we’re not getting anywhere, so how about we move on and forget this ever happened, okay?” Subaru puts his arms up in surrender as I scoot back toward him, closer than before.

“What a waste of time.” Other me spits, following behind Other Subaru as they pass us by, glaring at us coldly as they disappear into the fog behind us.

“...That was fucking weird and the scariest thing I’ve ever had happen,” I say, shuddering slightly. There was something off about those two the entire time, their eyes looked completely dead. I hope I never do something to end up looking like that.

[On their first day in the other world, instead of calling for help, Subaru instead dies multiple times to try and figure out how to beat the trio in the alley. He doesn’t include Erik the first few times and simply leaves him at the fruit stand in annoyance after he killed himself, but eventually, he uses Erik to help him kill the trio and convinces him to help him defeat Elsa.

Throughout every death Subaru convinces Erik to keep helping him, their collective deaths turning them insane as they strive toward the completion of one goal, knowing they could never go back. Becoming the Sin Archbishop of Pride and his subordinate, they go on to burn the Capital city of Lugunica, finally dying in peace after achieving their goal.]

“Let’s just move forward, maybe the exit is just up ahead.” Subaru grabs my hand as I try to shake off the awful feeling of that encounter. We walk forward again, though this time we keep silent, our bodies tense, trying to anticipate if we’ll run into someone again. A short amount of time later, I can spot another dark figure through the fog.

“Ah shit, that’s definitely not the exit.” I curse, stopping in place and backing up slightly.

“Maybe it’ll be somebody else and they can tell us how to get out of here?” His words come out more as a question than anything else.

“Or it could end up like the last two, and I don’t want to meet anyone like that again,” I say pessimistically. My face turned downward into a frown. We wait in place as the fog in front of us shifts, and the next two figures appear; it’s us…again.

Though these ones are slightly different, the Other Subaru is wearing an outfit closer to Japanese style clothing, along with an orange scarf as he looks around with a panicked expression. Other me has slightly shorter hair and is wearing a similar outfit as he guides Other Subaru along with a grin on his face.

“Oh? Hello, it’s nice to see other people here. We haven’t run into anyone else yet.” Other me greets kindly. Other Subaru mutters something as he suddenly grabs out a coin, flipping it in the air.

“Is he…okay?” I ask the Other me.

“Oh he’s fine, just a little shy around new people.” Other me waves it off. He didn’t seem ‘just a little shy’ considering the way he was gripping Other me’s arm like a lifeline.

“We actually ran into some more of…us…behind us, we guessed that we’re all like, alternate versions,” Subaru explains.

“Yes, that would make sense. We run the Pleiades crime organization with Subaru as the head, or ‘The Purge King’ as he’s more commonly known.” Other me explains.

“Oh, that’s pretty cool…wait, did you say crime organization?” I question.

“Yes…is there a problem?” Other Subaru finally speaks up, giving us a hard stare.

“...Nope, not at all,” Subaru says, waving his hands.

“I really don’t know how we ended up here. We were in the middle of an important fight, but…oh well. What were you two doing?” Other me asks. It’s weird, I’ve never been this bright and cheery before, somehow, I prefer the more murdery version of me. This is just plain weird.

“Well, I was drinking when I suddenly slipped and hit my head on a table,” I reply, rubbing the back of my head in embarrassment.

“Hmmmm, maybe we’re all permanently dead? Just kidding, though that is something to think about, ah, we should probably move on already, I want to find the exit quickly.” After spouting out a truly horrible thing to think about, Other Subaru pulls on Other me’s arm and they start walking past us. On their way out, I meet Other Subaru’s eyes for a second as he flips his coin again.

“...Heads.” I can barely catch the whisper as he moves past me.

“Urgh, those two somehow felt creepier than the last two,” I say, turning to Subaru.

“Seriously, I really hope this is all a dumb dream and we didn’t turn out that way in some other reality,” Subaru states, giving the previous duo a passing glance as we continue forward again.

[Instead of killing himself to save Rem, Subaru takes Beatrice’s hand, and she teleports him and Erik to safety. Erik is grateful that Subaru decided not to kill himself and took it upon himself to always be there for Subaru as he delved deeper into committing violent acts. To this extent, Subaru became more and more withdrawn and eventually only relied upon and trusted Erik.]

The unsettlingness of the previous two interactions left us a bit on edge so we decided to make some light chatter as we continued moving forward to look for a way out. We continued along like that until I heard something that made me stop.

“Are you serious! You fucking left me! You left all of us! Why would I want to walk with you through this place?!” A voice shouted, and it sounded like they were arguing.

“I’m just saying we should try to figure out what’s going on. I have a wife and kids I have to get back to…I don’t want to stay here.” Another voice chimes in. Subaru and I turn to give each other confused looks before heading forward past the fog. The sight that greets us is certainly…interesting.

On one side is another version of me, this time with long hair that goes down to the waist, a simple outfit, and wrist cuffs. He is glaring at Other Subaru, who has longer hair in a rat tail and is wearing Japanese-style clothing, slightly different from the previous one we met.

“Finally! Someone who looks slightly normal in the place!” Subaru suddenly shouts.

“Are you two…okay?” I question. They both look older than us, like, a lot older. And the way Other me is glaring at Subaru suggests they don’t like each other very much. Though Other Subaru keeps shooting Other me a guilty glance.

“Fine, I just don’t want to be around this guy, is all, but for some reason, we showed up here together.” Other me huffs.

“We showed up here randomly as well, in fact, we met more other versions of ourselves back there,” I explain, pointing behind me.

“Yeah, we’ve theorized that we’re all alternate versions of each other,” Subaru adds.

“Ah, that would make sense. Sorry to ask, but have either of you seen an exit? I kind of want to get out of here, got a wife and kids waiting for me, so…” Other Subaru says anxiously.

“No, we haven’t seen anything and…wait, wife and kids!” Subaru suddenly shouts.

“I’m guessing you’re younger than I am right now. Let me tell you, getting married was the best thing that ever happened to me.” Other Subaru gloats.

“Psh, at least you were having fun.” Other me scoffs. Yikes, I wonder what happened between them to make their relationship this volatile.

“Who did you get married to?” Subaru asks enthusiastically.

“Ah, Rem.” He answers simply, causing our minds to go completely blank.

“Huh!?” “W-why?” We both spluttered at the same time.

“Hnnn, because of a certain situation, we ended up running off together. We didn’t fall in love at first, but after a while, feelings grew, and we had two kids together.” Other Subaru explains with pride. Other me simply grits his teeth while watching the exchange.

“Uhhh, no matter how cute she is I just can’t see anything like that happening between me and Rem,” Subaru states. Other Subaru just shrugs his shoulders.

“I’m leaving, follow if you want.” Other me suddenly interrupts, stalking off past us and into the fog.

“Ah, I should probably go after him. It was nice talking to you guys.” Other Subaru waves as he chases after Other me.

“I mean, at least we met one normal person here,” I tell Subaru.

[Subaru asks Rem and Erik to run away with him. Rem agrees, but Erik doesn’t. He wants to save their friends and is pissed that Subaru is just giving up like that after their promise, so they both go their separate ways. As Subaru starts a new life with Rem, Erik gets captured by the Witch Cult and is made into a slave by them for years. His resentment toward Subaru only grew as time went on. Subaru feels guilty for leaving Erik and everyone else behind and has constant nightmares about it.]

Though that encounter left me wondering what happened between them, overall, it was a much better one than the two before it, leaving me almost hopeful that whatever we come across next wouldn’t be too bad. I was quickly proven wrong as the next figures we meet through the dense fog have Other me…in a wheelchair.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, in some alternate dream universe, whatever, I’m brain dead!” I shout, pulling on Subaru’s arm as if to show him, even though he can see clearly. Other Subaru is looking at us with suspicion and curiosity. He’s wearing a fancy suit and a pendant around his neck, but his eyes look tired.

“Do you two happen to know anything?” Other Subaru asks.

“Nope, we’ve met like three other versions of us and nobody has a clue what’s going on,” I answer, getting over my initial shock.

“Our main theory is alternate versions of us,” Subaru explains, clearly not as fed up with having to repeat myself as he is.

“I see…” Other Subaru nods. Suddenly, I see him pull out a mini dagger as he brings it up to his neck. I rush out and grab his hand, I don’t go through him, and I can feel him struggling against me.

“Woah! What the fuck are you doing!? Were you going to kill yourself!?” Subaru exclaims, running over and grabbing the small dagger.

“...What’s wrong with that? I’m sure you two also ‘reset’ as well, it would be beneficial for me to gather more information using a different tactic next time.” Other Subaru states.

“The fuck is wrong with you!?” Subaru and I shout at the same time. Other Subaru unconsciously puts his hand on the pendant, but frowns as if something is missing.

“I don’t have to explain myself if you don’t understand. I guess it would be unwise for me to test my ability in this place. Goodbye.” He gives us both a cold look before putting his hands on the wheelchair Other me is in and pushing it forward.

“...That was so beyond fucked up,” I mutter after he disappears.

“This place gets worse by the second,” Subaru replies, grabbing my hand for comfort as we continue onward.

[Subaru takes Echinda’s hand in the Sanctuary and immediately gets to work on achieving ‘The Perfect Outcome’. He shoves Erik aside, who now feels like he’s useless and not able to help at all. Combine that with the sheer number of deaths Subaru racks up, and it causes Erik to completely shut down, becoming unresponsive as Subaru mourns the loss of his friend.]

We walk forward hand in hand for a while, trying desperately to find an exit to this place before we run into anyone else. But our wishes go unheard as I spot two more figures through the fog. When we step out to greet them, my breath hitches in my throat, and I can feel Subaru tense up beside me.

Other Subaru has white hair, and one of his eyes is white, like it’s gone blind. His outfit is a traveling type outfit and he’s wearing an orange scarf around his neck. Other me has the same blind eye and is wearing a brown coat with a blue scarf, as well as a collar around his neck with the end of it leading to Other Subaru.

“Wow, there really are other people. I told you we’d find someone!” Other Subaru exclaims, his eyes glancing around at…something.

“Nobody is there, you crazy bastard. Stop talking to nobody!” Other me curses, glaring at Other Subaru. He barely spares Other me a glance before glancing up at the two of us, his eyes suddenly firmly fixating on Subaru. Other me also glances up at this point, locking eyes with Subaru. His eyes go wide.

“Ah, are you, perhaps, [Natsuki Subaru]?” Other Subaru’s eyes turn up with glee, the way he says Subaru’s name gives me goosebumps.

“I don’t know what’s happening, but are you guys other versions of us?” Other me asks, turning to look at me.

“Yeah, something like that.” I wave my hand around.

“You have to be [Natsuki Subaru]...tell me everything. This guy here is so useless, he immediately tried to kill himself and won’t tell me a thing.” Other Subaru pouts.

“...What?” Subaru questions.

“...It doesn’t matter, you don’t need to know.” Other me says, looking down at the ground.

“Look, we can’t help you guys, we barely know what’s going on ourselves, so we’re just going to go…” I trail off, tugging at Subaru’s hand to leave.

“Wait! Please! You have to tell me!” Other Subaru begs, trying to grab onto Subaru as Other me grabs him and pulls him back. Subaru and I quickly dash off as he tries to follow.

[In the Pleiades Watchtower, the Subaru who lost his memories kills everyone in an effort to find out who [Natsuki Subaru] is. Erik is disgusted with him for his actions and tries to kill himself to bring them back, but Subaru stops him and puts a collar on him so he won’t run off and try to kill himself. Because of this, Erik refuses to tell him about [Natsuki Subaru] and cries himself to sleep every night, knowing they can never get their friends back.]

“I hope…we never end up like that,” I tell Subaru, my words cutting through the thick atmosphere that had built up.

“We won’t, besides, this is just a dream, remember?” Subaru responds.

“Mm.” I agree, though it doesn’t feel like one. We continue to walk, and walk, and walk. Finally, the fog clears in front of us to reveal a door.

“That has to be the exit,” Subaru states confidently.

“And if it’s not?” I ask him.

“What other option do we have?” He shoots back. I nod my head reluctantly and take a deep breath before opening it and stepping through.

When I wake up, I’ve got a splitting headache, and I groan as I sit up. I glance around the room and find it mostly the same as before I passed out.

“What happened?” Subaru groans beside me.

“You tripped and hit your head on the taaaaable.” Roswaal helpfully informs. As I shake my head to clear it, the rest of the night slowly comes back to me. I feel like I had some sort of dream, though I can’t remember it now.

“Hmph, this is what you two get for being idiots.” Ram huffs.

“It wasn’t my fault! I had four feet!” I protest. The rest of the night is filled with laughter and cheer, though I really can’t help but feel I’m forgetting something.

Chapter Text

The next day, we continued our training with Wilhelm. Subaru had gotten a lot better with the whip, but it still wasn’t enough to do damage to someone like Wilhelm. I was slowly getting better as well. Wilhelm had given me a new training plan to implement so that I could build up my strength better.

“That move you used on me when we first fought, when you dropped the knife, how did you make your arm move forward so fast?” Wilhelm suddenly asks me. I’m sitting on the ground and taking heaving breaths after a short spar with him.

“Uhhhh? I don’t remember. I just really wanted to do some damage, and I kind of forced my arm to go forward. That doesn’t make much sense…” I mumble, placing a hand to my chin in thought.

“There is a potential that you used mana to make that possible. If that is the case, you may be able to use a method of utilizing mana to make yourself stronger.” Wilhelm explains.

“Huh? I thought I couldn’t use magic, my gate is defective or something.” I tell him.

“If your gate is defective, there may be a chance you can’t use magic, but mana is slightly different.” He says.

“Hnnn, well, I’ll keep it in mind,” I reply, slotting that in the back of my mind to think about another day. If I could use mana, then that’s great, but I want to check with someone like Puck or Beatrice to make sure.

Later that night, after both Subaru and I had taken a bath, we were walking up the stairs and chattering about our favorite shows from back in our world when we stumbled upon Crusch, who invited us for a drink.

“I can’t drink alcohol,” Subaru tells her as soon as we sit down.

“I shouldn’t drink alcohol, last time that happened, I tripped over my feet and hit my head on a table,” I say, rubbing the back of my head at the phantom pain.

“Hah, well, you both are welcome to drink water,” Crusch states, putting a hand over her mouth to suppress a chuckle.

“It wasn’t that funny! Seriously, have you ever seen a drunk person before?” I ask her with a grumble.

“Many, I still laugh every time.” She answers, taking a sip from her drink. Subaru and I both serve ourselves some water, and Crusch clinks glasses before we take another sip.

“I wanted to ask how the healing of your gate has gone.” She says, placing the glass down and fixing Subaru with a look.

“It’s fine, Ferris can get a bit touchy-feely though.” He answers.

“Seriously, I’ve grown used to it, but the first time we met, she chased after me and gave me a hug.” I shiver at the memory.

“Haha, that does sound like something Ferris would do.” Crusch smiles.

“Ah, but you seem pretty busy as well.” Subaru notes.

“Indeed, there’s a certain occurrence that we’re gathering supplies for, and since the royal selection has started, I’ve gotten quite a few proposals, though I’m sure I’m not the only one,” Crusch answers with a sigh.

“Of course, of cou-wait! Proposals! As in marriage!” Subaru suddenly exclaims.

“Eh?! So a bunch of random people have been proposing to you this whole time? That sounds annoying.” I comment, slumping down on the table to rest my head in my hands.

“I agree, dealing with all those proposals has been quite taxing.” Crusch nods in agreement.

“Oh, I also wanted to thank you for letting us train with Wilhem. If you’ve been as busy as you say, I’m sure we’ve been taking up space,” Subaru says apologetically.

“Don’t worry, your attitude thus far has shown that the training is more than worth it. Who knows, maybe if you make up with Emilia, you could put in a good word for us.” Crusch winks.

“Hah? You’re so mean, Crusch, turning your guests into alliance pawns.” I joke.

“Ah! What are you guys doing here!?” Ferris suddenly appears and points an accusing finger at us.

“I invited them up here for a drink,” Crusch explains.

“That’s not the point, the point is they’re up here with you when you’re dressed like that.” Ferris pouts. Crusch was not in her regular business attire and was instead wearing a nightgown with a small shawl draped over her shoulders to ward off the cold.

“Hmph, men are all lustful pigs who would jump at the chance to lick over a beautiful lady like Crusch.” Ferris huffs. I glance over at Crusch, but she just has an amused expression on her face.

“Hate to break it to ya, but Crusch is not my type, but I can appreciate beauty where there is some,” I tell Ferris.

“And of course, anyone who was at the royal selection conference knows where Subaru’s heart lies.” Crusch butts in.

“...Hm.” Subaru’s reaction is more lackluster than usual, and I turn to glance at him. Where he would usually admit it or stutter with a red face, he instead turns his face to look out the window with a pensive expression.

“Is something the matter, Subaru?” Ferris walks over to Subaru and bends down to look him in the eyes and catch his attention.

“Huh? Ah, no, sorry, just lost my focus for a second there, what were we talking about?” He asks.

“If this is about Emilia, I’m sorry for bringing it up, but I assure you it would be best to make up with her. We can all see how much you care about her and it would be in your best interest to show her you’ve grown.” Crusch says, staring straight at Subaru.

“I know, I’ll make sure to tell her what I want to say properly this time,” Subaru answers, his face brighter than before. Weird. I thought it was about his argument with Emilia…but I guess that’s not the case? I’ll ask him about it later. A cool breeze wafts through the room as we all glance out the open window.

“Hm, the wind is picking up, seems we might have some rough weather tomorrow.” Crusch muses, drinking the last bit of alcohol in her glass.

“Right, I think we’d better head to bed then,” I say, placing my hands on the table and standing up. Subaru follows me a beat later as we both thank Crusch and head off to our room. The next day, in the middle of our training, Rem calls us over with a serious expression on her face.

“We need to discuss something important.” She states, and we hurriedly follow her to a room in the mansion. Crusch and Ferris are already there as Subaru, Wilhelm, and I file in after.

“Has Rem told you what happened?” Crusch asks us, Subaru and I both shake our heads no.

“I felt something…a presence…through a shared bond with my sister,” Rem explains with a worried expression. My heart drops in my chest at her words, and I give Subaru a worried glance.

“So you basically picked up some nasty synesthesia from her.” Ferris clarifies, and Rem nods in agreement.

“That’s not all, we’ve received some reports of troubling movement in the vicinity of the mansion in the Margrave’s domain,” Crusch adds.

“Troubling movement?” I ask, tilting my head in confusion.

“We predicted something like this might happen after Margrave Roswaal announced he was backing Emilia in the royal selection, with her being a half-elf, it might be cause enough for some with prejudice to want to attack,” Crusch explains.

“I…what should I?” Subaru mutters to the side, biting on his nail in distress. I grab his hand out of his mouth and hold it in mine gently.

“I’m going back to check on them. If you want to come with me and check as well, I’m sure nobody would mind, right, Rem?” I turn to her with a glance.

“Though I think Subaru should focus on healing…I have no problem with this.” She answers.

“Is that alright with you…Crusch?” I turn to the woman at the forefront of the room, who is fixing us with a pensive expression.

“I should inform you that Emilia has me placed under a contract. If Subaru leaves that contract will be void, and I am not obligated to help you anymore. That being said, your time here has been an enjoyable experience for me, so I will not look at the Emilia camp with any bad will.” Crusch states.

“So basically, we were great guests and you’d like to have us over again?” I ask her.

“Hahaha! If that is the way you take it, then so be it. I wish you the best of luck.” Crusch smiles, breaking the tense atmosphere. Beside me, Subaru inhales a breath I hadn’t known he was holding.

“Though I don’t quite agree with you leaving, I’ll give you my blessing. Just don’t use your gate!” Ferris warns.

“I won’t, I won’t.” Subaru chuckles. With that, we leave the room and start packing all our stuff. It doesn’t take too long considering we barely had anything to begin with, but before I could leave the room, Subaru grabbed my hand.

“I…I wanted to talk, for a second.” He says, glancing weakly at the ground.

“What’s wrong?” I ask him, leading him to the bed so I can sit down.

“When I heard that there was trouble near Emilia…my first thought was that this is what happens the second I’m not beside her…I mean, how can I think that? Isn’t that horrible? But I couldn’t help it, and I even started to think I could finally be useful again.” He says, digging his nails into his palm.

“Hm, but you didn’t act on those thoughts. You could’ve rushed out of the room, declaring you would save Emilia, but instead, you asked what you should do. I think that shows that you’re making progress.” I smile, grabbing his hands and prying them apart.

“It’s not just that…I don’t even know if I like Emilia. I mean, she’s pretty and I’m attracted to her…but I don’t know if I love her. I just wanted to grab onto something when we first came here, and Emilia was like your typical heroine, I thought maybe stuff would work out like how it did in a video game.” He chuckles slightly at the last part.

“But…over time, I started realizing I was clinging to an ideal rather than a person. I just viewed her as a heroine to conquer, not as Emilia. I wanted her to be the person that would love and support me no matter what…but instead I fucked that all up and now I’m realizing I’ve been a shit person.” Tears start pouring out of his eyes as he says this.

“...When we first arrived here, I was surprised and scared. But seeing you and knowing you were going through the same thing made me feel like I could be brave. But then we died, and it all collapsed. I was terrified and kept thinking, I can’t do this. But you kept pushing through, trying to save Emilia.” I take a breath to formulate my thoughts better.

“What I’m trying to say is, even if you think you are a piece of shit. I’ll always see you as someone who does his best to help others, even if he’s in the worst possible situation. So as long as you keep trying to be better, I’ll appreciate every second I get to spend with you.” I tell him, wiping away his tears with the corner of my sleeve.

“Geez, that’s the sappiest thing I’ve ever heard you say.” He chuckles.

“If you keep complaining, I won’t do it anymore…and hey, don’t forget, we’re in this together, promise?” I ask, sticking out my pinky finger to him.

“Promise.” He agrees, placing his finger over mine in a pinky promise.

When we finally get outside to the dragon carriage awaiting us, Rem is all ready to go and waiting patiently for us.

“Sorry we took so long, we had some things to discuss,” I tell her.

“It’s fine, it’ll probably take around two and a half days to get back anyway,” Rem states as we load our stuff into the carriage.

“What? Why? It only took about half a day to get here.” Subaru says, giving Rem a confused stare.

“We can’t go that way, it’s covered in a fog created by the White Whale; if we go that way, it’s over, so we need to take a detour,” Rem explains with a grave expression.

“I see, that sounds pretty scary,” I remark, goosebumps forming over my skin at her words.

“Dumbing it down to ‘pretty scary’ completely defeats the point of her words.” Subaru sighs.

“Thank you, Mr. Wilhelm, for letting us borrow the carriage,” Rem says, turning to Wilhelm, who followed us out.

“It’s no problem.” He answers humbly.

“Yeah, thanks, you guys have been a great help, even if it was for a contract,” Subaru says, giving Wilhelm a thumbs up.

“Too bad I can’t take advantage of your richness anymore.” I sigh.

“Hahaha, no worries, I simply do it because you three remind me of some people I knew back in the day.” Wilhelm smiles.

“Eh? We do?” I ask him.

“Yes, you especially, I used to have an old friend I fought in a war with, you both share a remarkable likeness to each other.” He muses.

“Hm? Well, if you see him again, you can tell him that.” I reply.

“Unfortunately, he passed away in said war,” Wilhelm reveals somberly.

“Oh, sorry for your loss,” I tell him.

“No need for that, it has been a few years already, and I’ve come to terms with it,” Wilhelm states.

“Well, we need to get going. We’ll see you later, Wilhelm,” Subaru says, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the dragon carriage. We wave to Wilhelm as the carriage slowly pulls out of the driveway of the Karsten mansion.

“Have you gotten anything else from Ram?” I ask Rem as we drive along.

“No…it’s a consciously controlled thing, there’s a chance Ram didn’t even want to send it in the first place,” Rem explains.

“That doesn’t make any sense; that means she probably didn’t want us to come.” Subaru muses.

“If it was just an accident, then we can laugh it off, but if something really is happening…was she trying to protect us?” I question aloud.

“I don’t know.” Rem sighs. The rest of the drive is spent in a tense silence, each of us mulling over different thoughts. I’m worried about Ram and Emilia, but I can’t help but hope it was just an accident and everything is fine.

When the evening air turns into a cool night breeze, we’re forced to stop at a nearby inn so that the ground dragon can rest. Subaru and Rem decide to head off to bed but I go and take a short bath to try and relax. My nerves are frayed as I think about Ram and the others, worry and doubt clouding my every thought.

When I head back upstairs after drying my hair, I step into the room that Subaru and I were going to share, only to find Rem leaning on Subaru’s back with her hands glowing as he suddenly falls asleep.

“...What are you doing?” I ask her.

“I’ve decided to head back alone. If Subaru goes he will end up getting hurt, you as well, I can’t have that.” Rem states.

“You do know he’s going to follow you in the morning, right?” I question her, stepping closer.

“If all goes well, the problem will have already been dealt with,” Rem says.

“Nothing is ever that simple,” I tell her.

“...It doesn’t matter, you can choose to stay here or you can choose to follow me…though I already know you’ve made your choice.” She says, passing me by and walking out of the room.

“...Fuck.” I curse, sinking into the bed and curling up my knees. I can’t just leave him, and I can’t bring his sleeping body with me. I try and shake him a few times to wake him up, but it proves useless. The rest of the night is spent sleeplessly staring at the wall until he wakes up the next morning. He catches that something is off as soon as he sees my face.

“What happened?” He asks, springing up.

“...It’s Rem…she left,” I tell him.

“What!? What do you mean?” He exclaims, grabbing onto my shoulders and shaking me.

“She just…left. She said it was too dangerous for you to go to the mansion and left. She said I could follow her or-”

“Then why didn’t you follow her! I’m not in any danger!” Subaru shouts, his expression twisted in anger that’s directed solely at me for the first time since we got tossed in this world.

“I-”

“Sorry, I’m sorry…I’m just stressed…let’s go find someone to take us.” Subaru quickly apologized, turning away from me.

“...Yeah,” I say hesitantly, following him as he exits the room and heads downstairs. We collect our stuff from the innkeeper, which includes a note for Subaru from Rem. We ask around and eventually find a merchant passed out at the bar. His name is Otto and he’s eager enough to take us up on our offer once we offer him enough money.

The drive is tense and silent. I can feel the awkwardness radiating from Otto, but I can’t bring myself to speak. I was still reeling from when Subaru shouted at me back at the inn…did I make the wrong choice? Should I have gone with Rem…I don’t know. My thoughts are all tangled and I pull lightly on my hair to let out some stress.

After a while of driving through the darkness, the carriage suddenly halts and I have to brace myself against the side of the carriage so as not to fall off.

“What happened?” Subaru asks, moving toward the front to get a look ahead.

“The ground dragon is frightened. Can we please turn back here?” Otto begs, glancing around warily.

“Where are we right now?” Subaru questions.

“In the Mathers domain, near a place called Arlam village,” Otto says, looking at a map in his hands.

“Good enough, let’s go.” Subaru pulls on my arm to lead me out of the carriage.

“Huh? But it’s dangerous!” Otto tries to convince us to stay.

“We’ll be fine, you can keep all the money.” Subaru waves at Otto before running off and pulling me behind him. I can hear Otto shouting after us, but we quickly leave him in the dust.

“Uhm…about back at the inn, I’m sorry, I should’ve gone with Rem. I just, I was scared, and I didn’t want to leave you.” I hesitantly call out to Subaru as we’re dashing along.

“...It’s fine, I didn’t mean to shout at you, I’ve just been anxious. I was angry that Rem left me behind like that. It felt like she didn’t trust me, like everything I’ve been trying to do was useless, so I guess I took it out on you.” He sighs. I stop in place, grabbing onto Subaru as I do. It’s too quiet.

I hadn’t noticed at first, but looking around…there was just…nothing. No animals, no birds, no bugs, nothing. It was completely silent. Then, all of a sudden, I blink. Someone is in front of us wearing a hooded cloak. When I turn, there’s more of them, forming a ring around us. My breath hitches as I reach for my daggers, when they all suddenly bow and rush off.

“What…what the fuck was that.” I breathe out. Subaru shakes his head in confusion before continuing his run. I follow behind a beat later, glancing at where those hooded figures ran off with a sick feeling in my gut.

It’s daybreak when we reach the village. And there too, it’s suspiciously quiet. And when we finally enter, all we can see are bodies. They litter the floor, blood is everywhere, and body parts are strewn about. It takes all I have not to throw up as Subaru flings open doors looking for survivors.

“...Hk!” Subaru cries out, falling to his knees.

“Rem…Rem!” He suddenly shouts, springing up and running off. I follow closely behind him as we head forward, toward the mansion. I try to keep my mind off the bodies, I hadn’t seen one since Old Man Rom’s death, and that doesn’t even begin to compare with the destruction of the village.

Ahead of me, Subaru pauses when he reaches the gate to the mansion, stumbling forward into the front garden. As I approach, I can see why. A bloody morningstar, abandoned on the ground. And a short distance away, Rem, face down, a knife in her back, not moving.

“Rem! Why…why!?” Subaru shouts, tears streaming down his face. He collapses to the ground. I come up behind him, my own eyes wet with tears, trying to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he immediately slaps it away and I look down at my own hand in shock.

“...Wha-?”

“I told you! I told you, you should’ve gone with her!” Subaru shouts, glaring at me.

“What was I supposed to do! What the fuck could I have done in this situation! What could any of us have done?!” I shout back.

“I don’t know! Something!” He cries out.

“No! We couldn’t have done shit! I would’ve died, and then you would’ve died! We’re…I’m…useless!” I yell out, sinking to the ground and crying into my hands.

“All I’ve been is useless, I make the wrong decision ever single time. I killed myself, I almost left you, I didn’t help you during the conference, and I couldn’t follow Rem and protect her…I’m…useless.” I sob.

“Hey…hey, I didn’t mean that. I just…”

“It’s fine, I’m used to being useless. I couldn’t even help my best friend back in Japan, how could I think I would help you here?” I spit, my words echoing in my brain as I push away Subaru, who was offering a comforting arm. We move on in silence, opening a shed filled with the mangled bodies of the kids from the village. Subaru throws up as I stifle another sob.

There are dead bodies littered throughout the garden, all people in hoods. We move toward the mansion slowly, looking for anyone, hoping someone is alive. When we get inside the mansion, not a single person is there…at least…not until we open a door and find the body of Ram holding onto Petra. Subaru turns her over, and her eyes are completely gone.

“It’s all…my fault,” Subaru mumbles as we step over the bodies, following a trail of blood that leads to a hidden door and a bloodied accessory of Emilia. Subaru tries to enter the door, but I stop him with a hand to the shoulder.

“This…we shouldn’t go in. I have a bad feeling.” I tell him.

“But…Emilia could be in there.” He states hopefully…no, delusionally. With that, he breaks my hold and walks in. I follow behind. It’s freezing in the corridor, and more hooded figures are lining it, completely frozen. I move forward at the last second, grabbing Subaru’s hand before he touches the door as I try to throw him out of the room.

My hand only brushes the knob slightly, and it’s frozen to the touch. I let out a cry of pain, but I push Subaru toward the door, back to safety, trying desperately to reach it myself…but it’s too late. I see the horror in his face as I feel my body painfully freeze up.

“My…fault.” The ghost of a whisper on his lips as I feel my skin break into pieces, my consciousness fading.

“You’re too late.” Is the last thing I hear.

Darkness…darkness…and then….

“Hey! Are you alright? You guys are spacing out.” A harsh voice brings my consciousness sharply back into focus.

“...Hk!” I breathe in a short gasp of air before stumbling to my knees and throwing up.

“Ah, are you okay?” A kind voice rushes over, Rem. I turn my teary and snotty face toward her as I wipe my mouth.

“My fault…my fault…all…my fault.” I hear a mumble to the side of me, and then nothing. When I turn, I see Subaru, knees on the ground, tears streaming down his face, and a manic smile.

“No…no…way,” I mutter, standing up and walking over to him.

“Subaru? Erik? What’s wrong?” Rem asks.

“Wake up, you bastard! Wake up!” I shout, grabbing onto Subaru’s shoulders. He doesn’t react, he simply stares at something I can’t see.

“You said…you promised we’d be in this together! Wake the fuck up!” I shout, slapping him in the face. It does nothing. I slowly sink down to my knees, tears streaming down my face.

“Please…wake up,” I mumble one last time.

“Are you two alright?” Rem asks, hurrying over to us. The last thing I see is her worried face as the exhaustion builds up, and I pass out.

Chapter Text

When I wake up, I don’t quite know where I am for a second. That’s worrying, so I take a second to think back to what I was doing before I was lying down in a bed. A single memory flash is all it takes for me to bolt up, a strangled scream in my throat.

Dead bodies float across my vision, freezing cold, shattering skin, and I feel completely numb. Numb…am I numb? I can’t feel anything, can’t think about anything, only the memories cling to my mind. I have to make sure I’m alive; that’s the only thought that manages to break through.

I don’t even realize I’m scratching violently at my arms until hands wrap around my body and force me to stop. When I come back to myself, my breathing is panicked, and I can feel the gouges in my arms where my nails ripped through bare skin, leaving bloody trails. I glance up to see Ferris looking at me worriedly, her face twisted in a frown of confusion.

“Ah…sorry.” I apologize, glancing away guiltily.

“It’s fine.” She sighs, grabbing my arms, and a blue light comes out of her hands, and I feel the wounds slowly heal until a pink mark remains, but the frown doesn’t leave her face.

“I can’t do more than this; healing you takes a lot of my energy, and I want to save it.” She remarks, pulling away, but staying close by, all her attention fixed on me.

“What happened to you two? As I recall, you were doing fine and went on a shopping trip with the blue-haired maid, suddenly she barges in saying Subaru wasn’t responding and you had passed out after having a breakdown in the middle of the street.” Ferris huffs, going on a tirade as she studies me.

“I-I don’t know…how to explain,” I respond, keeping my eyes on my fidgeting hands. The bodies float through my head, and I put a hand to my mouth, trying not to throw up.

“It just doesn’t make any sense, I’ve checked for any injuries, I’ve checked for a curse…” Ferris mumbles.

“I wish I could explain…how is Subaru?” I ask her, trying to focus on something besides the memories of what happened.

“I can’t do anything to help him, he’s not responding to anything we do, just lying there with his eyes open. I’m sorry.” Ferris apologizes.

“That bastard…he promised me…how could he?” I curl up into my knees, quietly sobbing. I feel the ghost of Ferris’s hand on my back, but it’s gone in an instant.

“I’ll call the maid over, see what she has to say,” Ferris says, then she leaves the room as I try to collect myself. When the door opens and Rem walks in, I don’t quite know how to feel. Mostly, I’m happy she’s alive. But there is some part of me that’s angry at her for leaving us…even though it probably wouldn’t have changed anything.

“Are you feeling alright?” She asks gently, taking a seat in the chair next to the bed I’m in.

“I don’t know, no, probably not,” I answer.

“I’ve heard from Ferris,” She says, glancing at me. I see her nose twitch and her eyes narrow for a fraction of a second.

“Ah, the witch’s scent, or whatever, it got worse, right?” I ask her, and she looks surprised at this, but eventually nods her head.

“Does that have something to do with what happened?” She questions.

“Kind of? I can’t really explain it.” I reply.

“I think…I’m going to take Subaru back to the mansion tomorrow. Nobody here can do anything for him, and maybe seeing Emilia would help him,” Rem reveals. My first instinctive reaction is to shout no. But then I think about it again…maybe, just maybe. If we get there fast enough, we can make it in time.

“Uhmm…sure.” I eventually agree, besides, being stuck here and not helping the others when I could be helping is worse than anything else. Though I don’t like to think about what that anything else entails.

Rem leaves my room shortly after, I decide to try and get some sleep until the next day. It’s fitful at best, and when we’re saying our goodbyes the next morning, I’m dead on my feet. I’m standing next to Subaru, he’s still completely out of it. I almost want to hit him or scream at him again, but it’s not going to do anything.

“Thank you for letting us stay, I also thank you on behalf of my master.” Rem bows, I utter a short thank you as well, but it’s hard to focus on anything because of my lack of sleep.

“Yes, would you send Miss Emilia this message, ‘Let us compete in a manner that will bring neither of us shame,” Crusch states with a small smile.

“Hey…I know you guys are set on going back to the mansion, but can anyone there help him?” Ferris suddenly cuts in.

“He might regain some clarity upon seeing Miss Emilia or my sister, he utters their names sometimes,” Rem states, and I can’t help the slight flinch that runs through my body at the mention of their names. Crusch narrows her eyes, but I shrink away from her intense gaze.

“Besides, Rem and I technically still work there, so maybe the others can offer us guidance,” I add, twisting my fingers as I speak to them, trying to keep my eyes on their faces. My anxiety was acting up, and I just wanted to stare at the floor, but I had to at least keep up some appearances.

“I’m glad he has you two to look after him. Though we didn’t get to talk too much during our stay, he certainly exceeded my expectations after what happened during the conference,” Crusch says with a smile. Rem and I both nod our heads, and with that, we say our goodbyes and leave.

The first half of the journey is mostly silent. Subaru is sitting up in the front with Rem, while I stay in the back. My mind keeps looping on different questions, most of them being why. Why is this happening again? Why can’t we just have a break? Why did he leave me alone? Why did he give up?

Over and over, my thoughts chase each other, I’m forced to come back to myself when I realize I’m biting my lips hard enough that they bleed. Ferris already had to heal the scratch wounds on Subaru yesterday, I’m just making it harder on him by doing this.

We soon stop for the night, and I climb out of the dragon carriage and stretch. I help Rem set up the campfire and some other supplies. We leave Subaru to sleep in the dragon carriage as we sit around the fire. I keep my knees curled up as I watch the flames curl and sputter, a lone ember sparking out and disappearing in the breeze.

“...Can I tell you something?” I ask Rem, slightly turning my vision toward her. If she was startled by me saying something, she didn’t show it, and instead glanced at me with a small smile.

“Sure.” She replies.

“I think…some people are going to attack the mansion. I don’t know who they are, but they were wearing these weird hoods. I know I sound crazy, but it’s the truth.” I tell her, waiting to hear a laugh or something along those lines.

“...Robes? Were there any designs on the robes?” Rem asks, suddenly looking at me with all her attention.

“Uh, uhmm, I think there was…a red eye?” I can barely remember; I was mostly focused on not looking at their dead bodies.

“Hk! The Witch Cult!” She spits, her expression turning immediately spiteful as she grinds her teeth.

“The Witch Cult?” I tilt my head in confusion at the unfamiliar term. Though in this world, things surrounding ‘witches’ were generally not a good thing.

“They’re a despicable group that worships the Witch. I won’t get into the specifics of it right now, but they’re completely detestable. They cause chaos and murder people wherever they go.” She seethes.

“Oh, like terrorists?” Rem appears not to understand the word, so the topic drops as Rem starts thinking about something.

“You should get some sleep, I’ll deal with this tomorrow,” Rem says. I would argue with her, but my eyes are starting to droop, so I head into the carriage, drawing into myself for some warmth, and I quickly fall asleep.

The next day, we finally reach the forest of the Mather’s domain. I feel anxious being here again, but I decide to just keep an extra watch out for things, that’s why I notice as soon as it goes quiet.

“Rem!” I shout to warn her, but her head suddenly tilts down, and she grabs at her chest. Everything happens in slow motion. I can only watch as the head of the ground dragon is cut off and the carriage tilts to the side.

I manage to jump out at the last second, but Subaru goes sprawling across the ground, and I feel a few scrapes appear over my body. I glance around and find that the people in hoods…the Witch Cult, have completely surrounded us.

I take a deep breath before grabbing out my daggers. They’re clearly not friendly and I needed to get my shit together or we’d all be in serious danger. I force myself to think of them as just weird floating hoods, not as people. It works for the most part as I don’t even flinch when one of the creepy fuckers approaches Subaru and is suddenly smashed by Rem’s morningstar.

Things swing into motion after that, I run toward Subaru at the same time as another one rushes up. He swung his daggers at me, but all the training with Wilhelm paid off as I easily blocked them and sliced at them with my free dagger. I tried to remember what I did back in the fight, picturing putting a bit more force into the blade. Surprisingly, it worked, and the hooded figure is bisected cleanly in half.

To the side, Rem is taking out three of them with her morningstar as two of them run toward me. I duck under the first blow, slicing up and taking off his head as the next guy throws a dagger at me. I parry it and throw my own right into his face, grabbing it out by stepping on the guy. His body slinks to the ground.

I make the mistake of looking at the blood on my dagger for a second too long and feel a sudden heat at my back. I only have time to glance over my shoulder to see the giant fireball heading my way before Rem runs in front of me, a shield of water appearing over us. As the steam clears, I notice her hand is completely burnt…and Subaru is gone.

“Shit!” I curse, glancing around for him.

“Subaru!” Rem cries out in anger. We spot one of the hooded figures running with him in their arms, but before we can give chase, three more figures pop out and block the way. I grit my teeth as Rem grabs onto her morningstar. Four more hooded figures appear, and they all hold up their hands to launch a fire attack.

I share a quick glance with Rem before she hurls her morningstar at them. I throw a dagger each for the two at the very back, striking one in the neck and another in the stomach. An explosion lights up the forest, and I’m forced to take a step back. Luckily, Rem managed to block the attack.

The Witch cultists that were blocking the way are all dead, so I run up to retrieve the daggers. Trying to keep my mind off the ‘humans’ that I killed. I look back at the fuming Rem, she has her horn out, but is keeping enough sense that when she points in the direction Subaru went, I nod and follow after her.

It was actually easy enough to follow the trail of Subaru, as we went through the forest, we just followed the Witch cultists that showed up here and there. Rem took out most of them, I was starting to breathe heavier after running for half an hour. I would occasionally feel a twinge or two in my body, but for the most part, it seemed Subaru wasn’t hurt.

When we reached the outside of a cave, my head blanched with pain, and a few drops of blood dripped down. I rubbed it away so it wouldn’t get in my eyes and sliced out at a hooded figure that tried to get close. This was definitely the place.

There’s one guard in the cave when we first enter it, but Rem slams her morningstar into him, and he goes flying further in as we walk deeper in. When we reach the depths of the cave, the first person I spot is Subaru, he’s chained to the wall with his head against the ground.

The next person I see is a pale man with green hair and a hood standing over him. His eyes are bugged out, and he has a wide smile on his face. It’s creepy, and I can’t help but want to take a step back. More hooded figures appear in front of us as we stare down the room.

“Found you,” Rem states, her fury evident in her gaze. She’s covered in blood and her clothes are ripped, I can’t be in a much better state.

“Give him back, you bastard,” I demand, glaring at the green-haired man.

“HAHAHAHAHA! Isn’t this fantastic! Look! A girl and a boy! Bloody and battered but pushing forth to save their companion! What a story!” He raves.

“Shut up Witch cultist! I have no time for your nonsense! Give him back or face the consequences. After all, trespassing in the Mather’s domain like this is a crime, and I see it fit to act on my master's behalf.” Rem shouts, pointing her morningstar at the man.

“Huuuh? Just admit it, you only came to save the boy, you don’t have to sugarcoat it with attractive words.” The man mocks.

“Shut the fuck up, you’re a damn lunatic!” I yell out as the man holds up Subaru as a display for Rem.

“Straight to the point, that’s what I like to hear! To forgo more words in favor of reaching a faster conclusion is truly…slothful!” The man cries out, a mad smile on his face.

“Don’t touch him!” Rem shouts, suddenly hurling her morningstar into the nearest hooded figure. At that, the fight starts, with different hooded figures throwing themselves at us. Rem takes on most of them as I stab at anyone who gets close, slicing off arms and legs and stabbing them in the neck or stomach.

The lunatic shouts at us the entire time. I try not to let any of his words get to me, but as the fight continues, I get more and more frustrated. The things he says are insane, without a doubt, but they all have an edge of truth to them. We get closer and closer, finally nearing enough to reach out for Subaru.

“My brain…trembles.” It’s one phrase, muttered under his breath. Everything stops as I feel my body get jerked up into the air, I hear a splattering noise, and can only look to the side in confusion at a bloody Rem.

“...Huh?” It is the only noise that escapes my mouth.

“Look what you did! How awful! Because of you, this girl…because of your action, that boy, they’ve been strung up. She’s dead, and soon he will be as well. With my arms and my fingers, you, you, you, you, you…killed them.” The lunatic says, his words directed at Subaru.

No…this can’t be right. This shouldn’t be happening…something like this. How? I can only glance around at my arms in wonder. Clearly, something is holding them in place, but I can’t see anything.

I can only watch in horror as Rem’s limbs start twisting around, first her arms, then her legs, then her head. The lunatic mocks her screams, reveling in sick, twisted glee as her body is mangled.

“Petelgeuse!” Subaru shouts, yelling over and over that he’ll kill the lunatic.

“And now, for the main event. I’m very happy you finally said my name. That boy over there also gave off a similar feeling as you…but it’s not quite on the same level, so I’ll just kill him here.” The lunatic smiles.

I can barely feel it at first, just a bit of pressure in my arm. But sure enough, the skin starts to twist. The only thing my head can comprehend is pain, it’s a slow pain. Building up as my skin starts to twist, followed by my muscles, and eventually the bones. Slowly, ever so slowly, twisting around.

All I can do is let out a scream. All I can see is red-hot pain behind my eyelids. All I can hear is the creaking of my bones and the scream that I let out. Behind it all, I can hear Subaru screaming as well, and then it all stops. My arm is still mangled, I’m still in pain, but it’s not twisting anymore.

“How strange, how strange? Well, I can’t have you dying, so I guess I’ll just leave you two together, you can watch him die of starvation perhaps.” The lunatic says.

“It’s quite messy in here, alright, men, return to your duties!” He shouts, clapping his hands.

“I’ll leave you here for now, maybe one day a Gospel will fall into your hands, but we’ll see.” The lunatic then walks away, passing by below us. He mumbles a few words before dropping me and Rem to the ground, I can barely feel my body as it hits the floor. I’m completely numb besides the pain in my arm.

I hear Subaru let out a scream of pain, but I’m numb to it all. Why, why, why, why, why, why, why!? It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts! I thought we were doing better, I thought we could make it in time, I thought we could save everyone. But I thought wrong, I always think wrong.

I can never make the right decision, no matter where I am. I’m just a pathetic follower, going along with whatever someone else tells me to do. Following pathetically behind the first person, I manage to cling to. But what else am I supposed to do? I can’t do this on my own.

The world bleeds in again as I feel a steady thumping pain in my head and wrist. It’s increasing ever so slightly, and I turn my head to see Subaru smacking his head against the ground. Maybe I should stop it, but I don’t want to think anymore, I don’t want to feel. One of his arms is mangled beyond belief…is that what my arm looks like?

A sudden dragging noise catches my attention, and I look to my side. Rem is gone. No…she’s dragging herself across the ground toward Subaru. She was alive. Rem was alive. How? With those wounds…how could she stand the pain? How could she drag herself over?

“Fuck…fuck!” I curse, gritting my teeth and forcing my body to stand up through the pain. It’s just and arm, if Rem can do that with all her limbs twisted, I can fucking stand up and stop having a pity party for myself. I slowly walk over to Rem and gently pick her up with my non-mangled arm, bringing her closer to Subaru.

When she reaches him, she whispers something, and just like that, his restraints are gone.

“Live…please. I love…both.” Those are the only words that can be heard before her eyes go dim.

We walk out of the cave in silence. Carrying Rem between our good arms. I don’t want to think, don’t want to talk. I don’t want to make excuses, there are a lot of things I don’t want to do. But mostly, I want to go home, back to Japan. I want to curl up on the couch and drink a nice warm cup of tea, and watch my favorite show. A small tear leaks out of the corner of my eye at the thought.

We move slowly, walking through the Mather’s domain and into Arlam Village. It’s snowing. We move past the frozen bodies of the villagers. I can hear Subaru mumbling a name…Petelgeus, probably that madman's name.

The ground is covered by snow by the time we reach the mansion. It’s cold, so cold. The wind freezes my eyelashes, and my teeth chatter from the cold, but I don’t bring my arms closer for comfort. One is holding Rem, and the other is too destroyed to be of any help.

I spot Ram again, this time she’s by the storage house. My heart twinges painfully as I look at her body, surrounded by dead witch cultists. I can’t stop the tears from flowing now. I hadn’t fully cried til now, I hadn’t fully accepted the situation.

It happened again, I couldn’t do anything again, and everyone died. I hate this, I hate doing this. I’m forced down as Subaru drops to his knees, he’s sobbing as well, calling out the lunatic's name over and over.

I feel it before I see it, a hulking figure behind the mansion. I turn my head upward to get a better view of it.

“Sleep…along with my daughter.” Is the last thing I hear. I can vaguely feel the cold setting in and my head falling off my shoulders, before darkness.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Fuck…shit! Damn it!” I curse again and again as I run through the swamp, my head spinning. That damned mage, if she didn’t tell me anything then I would’ve been fine. But now…what am I supposed to do?

The knowledge swirls around again and again in my head. We had been ambushed, it was a magic circle trap. I had barely managed to avoid it when it went off. I should be thinking about lost comrades or getting out of here alive. But the only thing I could think about was the ■■■■■

That bitch knew what she was doing, telling me. Fuck, whatever. She probably expected me to go on with my life, holding onto this information. Well screw her, instead, I sat down with my back to a tree.

Was this going to hurt? I had no idea what death felt like. I was sorry I couldn’t say goodbye to any of my comrades, but this had to be done sooner rather than later. Who knows what would happen once everyone was gathered?

“Ah, I should at least make a grave for myself,” I joke. Turning to the tree behind me, I take a dagger and carve into it.

‘Here lies Erinew Worsch, former mercenary of Kararagi. Fought and died in the Demi-human war on the side of the Royal Army.’

It seems professional, and well, it’s the best I could do in these circumstances. I shrug and lay down, pulling my long hair free from its ponytail as I place my dagger in front of my neck.

“Goodbye, cruel world. May I do better in the next life?” I smile, then I sink the dagger into my neck.

Ah, so this is what it feels like…to die.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

A few days later, after the soul was long gone, a young-looking girl found the body. She had pink hair and pointy ears, and upon noticing the body, she lit up with a small smile.

“I’ll take this one for later.” She smirks, picking up the body and throwing it over her shoulders. She remembered him from the battles that had taken place in the previous years. An outstanding mercenary, yes, he would be very useful.

Chapter Text

When my eyes flutter open, I’m hit with an influx of memories…dreams…thoughts…something. And then they’re all gone, leaving me standing in front of the familiar appa merchant as I struggle to recall what just happened. I remember dying, I remember everything that happened in the last loop, but it also feels slightly muted and far away, like something happened after that dulled the blow.

“Erik, Subaru, are you both alright?” A gentle voice asks. I turn to find Rem standing there with a worried expression. I’m so glad to see her alive and healthy, visions of her arms and neck twisting around hit me, and I struggle not to throw up.

“Rem…you’re alright.” Subaru breathes out a sigh of relief from behind me and rushes over to embrace Rem.

“Ugh, don’t do the whole couple thing in front of my stand, it turns away customers.” The appa merchant grumbles.

“Subaru, we need to talk.” I make my voice steadier than I’m feeling. In reality, I want to curl up into a ball and never think again, but this is something that needs to be discussed. He turns to me and nods, and I walk over to a private area with Subaru following behind.

“You can’t ever fucking do that again, you hear me?” The first thing I do is grab his collar and hold him up to the wall of the building. I make sure to give him my most intense glare, he promised he would stay and then he fucking left.

“I won’t, I swear…and, I’m sorry.” He apologized, looking down guiltily.

“Don’t just say it, you’re going to make it up with your actions,” I say, letting him go and turning away in anger.

“I will.” He replies with an intense anger in his voice. I turn around to see venom in his eyes, something that can’t be hidden. How did I not notice it earlier?

“Wait, what?” I question, backing away slightly.

“The Witch Cult, I’m going to take them down. For what they did to us and the others…for what they did to Rem.” He seethes.

“While I agree, exactly how are we going to accomplish this?” It’s a quick backpedal from my earlier heat, I’m not liking his expression much, and while I despise the newly revealed Witch Cult, there isn’t a feasible way to bring them down currently.

“We can ask for help, I’m sure Crusch or someone else will agree to help.” He answers.

“That is a horrible idea!” I shout, running my fingers roughly through my hair.

“What?” Subaru questions in confusion.

“There is literally nothing for them to gain in helping us. Look, Crusch is a nice person, but that only extends so far. And we currently have nothing, we aren’t important or of a special status. We have nothing to offer her at the moment.” I explain.

“But…what other option do we have?” Subaru asks, hesitation in his voice. I don’t have anything to say to that, the situation has made itself clear, we’re fucked. Angry tears start leaking from my eyes, and I hurriedly try and scrub them away.

“How about…you just leave it all to me. You don’t have to do anything, don’t have to think, you can just follow along. I know you’re tired.” Subaru places a hesitant hand on my shoulder, his words offering rest, a respite. Oh, how easy it would be to give up, to stop thinking. I’ve contemplated doing this a million times, but I kept going for the others, for him…but now. Now, he’s offering it himself, so…it couldn’t be that bad to just…take it, right?

I lean into his touch, just slightly, “...Alright.” I mumble, wiping away the last of the tears. We walk back to the patiently waiting Rem, although our conversation didn’t really lead anywhere, Subaru’s expression does look a bit clearer, and that in itself makes me happy.

When we get back to the mansion, Wilhelm is outside and talking to a guy with blonde hair and a beard, wearing a fancy-looking suit. I catch the tail end of their conversation, something about Crusch’s goal, before the two glance up at us.

“Oho, how unusual to see you. Pardon my rudeness, I am the treasurer of the capital’s merchant guild, Russel Fellow. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Natsuki Subaru.” The man bends at the waist, introducing himself politely. He gives off a slimy feeling, like he would drain us of all our money if we said the wrong thing. Shortly after that, the man leaves in a dragon carriage, and Subaru stares after the man with curiosity.

“Wilhelm, who was that guy?” Subaru questions.

“Hm, despite his outward appearance, he is a shrewd man. He has multiple dealings with the capital’s outer and inner financial matters.” Wilhelm explains. Ah, so that’s where that feeling came from.

“Wilhelm, I need to talk to Crusch, is that alright?” Subaru asks Wilhelm. He thinks it over for a second before nodding in agreement and guiding us into a room. Before we head in, he grabs me by the arm and pulls me aside.

“Is everything alright with you two?” Wilhelm asks.

“Huh? Uh, yeah, why do you ask?” I stumble over my words, but manage to meet his eyes while I say it.

“Nothing, it’s just, you seem more tired and Subaru appears more, how do I say this, spirited? Like something has lit him on fire within.” Wilhelm explains.

“Ah…it’s nothing, really, I just don’t want to think anymore,” I mumble the last bit, the only evidence that Wilhelm heard it was a small frown that appeared on his face before he let go of my arm. I walk into the room and take a seat on the couch next to Subaru as we wait for Crusch.

Rem is also glancing between us with worry, but she doesn’t say anything. Soon after, Crusch enters the room and sits at a desk. We rise to meet her as Wilhelm and Ferris take their places at her side.

“So, is there something you wanted to discuss?” Crusch asks. She places her hands under her chin as she stares at us.

“Yes, in about three days, the Witch’s Cult is planning to attack Roswaal’s domain. I was wondering if you could help.” Subaru says, with faux confidence on his face. I can tell he’s nervous as he begins to nervously wring his hands on his shirt just out of view of the others.

“Hm, it seems they have made their move.” Crusch deliberates.

“From the moment Miss Emilia was revealed to partake in the Royal Selection, we thought something like this would happen.” Ferris sighs.

“Alright, I understand, but why did you choose me to help you?” Crusch asks, a serious air about her, like his next words would make her lose all trust for us. Subaru takes in a subtle gasp of air as he prepares his words.

“We don’t have a lot of support right now. I know you guys are busy, but I was always taught it’s better to ask and get a no than not ask and waste a potential yes.” Subaru answers.

“Haaah, such a simple phrase, things aren’t always so black and white, you know,” Crusch states, a small smile on her face.

“Though I hate to say this as you have been polite guests so far, I am not obligated to help you as part of a contract I signed with Miss Emilia, and you need to be able to offer up something of equal value so as not to waste my time and resources,” Crusch says diplomatically.

“Hm…I can owe you a huge debt.” Subaru tries, and I mentally smack myself in the head. That is one of the worst things to offer in negotiation.

“If that is the case, then the only thing I will ask for is Miss Emilia dropping out of the selection; that is the only thing you can offer in such a case.” Crusch responds, tilting her head as if to ask, ‘Is that what you want?’

“Ah…” Subaru falters for a second, trying to decide whether to figure something else out or continue with it. He glances over to me for a split second, then shakes his head and turns back to Crusch.

“Then, I will have to disagree with that proposal, I don’t think I should make such a decision on Emilia’s behalf,” Subaru says, his voice rougher, like he doesn’t want to say it. But I can’t help the pride that wells through me as he says it.

“Hoh? Good answer, though with nothing else on the table, I’m afraid I cannot offer you my help.” Crusch sighs.

“Though this discussion didn’t lead anywhere, and there are some…interesting things I will refrain from calling out, you don’t seem like a bad person, so I won’t tease you relentlessly about your poor negotiation skills.” Crusch chuckles.

“Gah! Were they really that bad?” Subaru questions.

“Yes.” I nod my head from the side, and Crusch gives me an appraising look.

“I assumed you knew what was going on. Why didn’t you intervene?” She questions.

“Ah, I’ve taken a break from thinking for a bit, he said he had it handled.” I shrug.

“Sorry for bothering you guys, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit frustrated, but I already knew this was a long shot.” Subaru sighs.

“Would you guys like to join us for dinner?” Crusch offers.

“No, I need to think for a bit.” Subaru declines, saying goodbye and grabbing my hand to take me to our room. Rem follows behind us, worriedly, as Subaru starts pacing around the room. I take the bed and just…relax. It’s something I haven’t done in a long time, it feels like, but as soon as I close my eyes, I get flashes of dead bodies and pain that isn’t there.

Hah, I knew it wouldn’t be that easy, relying on someone else can’t take away all the burden, and it mostly just gives them twice as much to think about. I switch my position, putting my back to the wall and curling up my knees as I watch Subaru pace back and forth, muttering to himself. I only stop him once I feel a tiny bit of pain at the corner of my lip as blood starts flowing down.

“Stop it, just stop. You need to take a break, let’s discuss together, it’ll be better that way.” I tell him.

“But…you’re supposed to be resting, I made you do all the work last time, you deserve to-” I cut him off halfway.

“No, it’s not working. You’re just getting frustrated, and I can’t just rely on you; it’s not going to work. It just…doesn’t work like that.” I sigh, letting the frustration build up in my chest as I pull roughly on my hair.

“Okay…okay, we need a place to start at…” Subaru trails off.

“How about time, we don’t have much of it if what you say is true.” Rem offers. I flinch at her words…if. I can see Subaru doing the same.

“It’s going to happen, no ifs or buts about it. But you’re right, we don’t have much time, but we need more people than just us if we want to do something about it.” Subaru says, placing a hand to his chin to think.

“What about Roswaal? Shouldn’t he be there? Maybe we could contact him.” I offer, but Rem is soon shaking her head.

“He’s not there at the moment, he’s been required to visit some officials within the domain,” Rem explains.

“Fucking great, this guy is never where he needs to be.” I seethe.

“So it comes back to more support…what about Reinhard? I’m sure he’d help us.” Subaru states, his expression lighting up.

“The other day, he said he would be away from the capital on a courtesy call.” Rem interrupts.

“Shit! Why is everyone so useless!” Subaru shouts, frustration leaking out as he slams his hand on the wall. His words make me flinch back, and the sound of his fist hitting the wall makes me sink into myself. It always comes back to that, huh? I’m useless.

“No, wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” Subaru hurriedly apologizes once he looks over to me.

“It’s fine, I already know I’m useless,” I say quietly.

“...Alright, how about tomorrow, you check out the knight’s station and see if they’ll help, Erik and I will walk around and see if we spot anything that could help.” Subaru eventually squeezes out a half-hearted plan, and with that, Rem leaves, and Subaru and I settle in for bed. But it’s a restless night, and neither of us gets any sleep.

The next morning is spent wandering around the capital, looking for something that could be of any use to us. But as time went on, it became clearer and clearer that there wasn’t anything we could use. At one point, Subaru even suggests asking Priscilla for help since she’s a candidate that we know.

“Absolutely not, she’s insane. If we ask her for help, she would make some crazy demand like we should be her stepstool or something, and then berate us for following along with it.” I reason. Subaru thinks about it for a second before nodding.

“You’re probably right.” He sighs. About halfway through the day is when Subaru really starts to lose it, his pacing becoming more frantic as his eyes search the stalls of the marketplace we’ve wandered to. He starts biting his lip unconsciously again, causing mine to bleed as I hurriedly try to stop him.

“Woah, blood! Are you guys hurt?” A cutesy voice calls out. I look down to find an orange-haired cat girl at our feet, looking up at us expectantly.

“Uh, yeah, just a bit,” I tell her, squashing my fingers together to emphasize my point.

“Now, now, don’t bother people, Mimi, I’m very sorry, she’s just curious.” A voice calls out. I look past the young girl, Mimi, and flick my eyes up to find another Royal Selection candidate, Anastasia.

“Oho? Now, ain’t this a coincidence? Meeting Miss Emilia’s knight out here,” She grins. Alarm bells instantly go off in my head as soon as she says that.

“Is it? A coincidence, I mean.” I cut in, giving her a hard stare.

“Ah, you caught me, I was informed you both were runnin’ around the capital, so I decided to bump into you and invite you for lunch as thanks.” She says gleefully, not a bit embarrassed.

“Thanks for what?” Subaru questions.

“For havin’ a talk with my knight, of course.” She reveals, waving her hand to beckon us. We both look at each other and shrug, following behind Anastasia and Mimi as they head into a cafe.

We take a seat at a circular table, and I take a glance around, noticing almost everyone in there is wearing the same uniform. We order our food, and Anastasia decides to start the conversation while we wait.

“I wanted to say my thanks to you for talkin’ to my knight. I heard about what happened and I appreciate it, he’s always been the type of guy to take his pride seriously, so hearin’ he apologized as well was certainly a treat.” Anastasia chuckles.

“So you’re treating us to a meal because of that?” I ask her, not entirely trusting her words.

“Sort of, I wanted to give you some information as thanks. The prices of materials have been fluctuating recently due to someone buying up all the iron and weapons.” Anastasia reveals.

“Really? Who? And do you know what for?” Subaru asks curiously. I give him a withering look, and he hurriedly shuts his mouth.

“It’s someone very familiar to y’all, Duchess Crusch Karsten.” She grins. That’s the moment our food arrives, and Mimi digs into her burger as soon as it touches her plate. The rest of us eat ours slower, mostly thinking about the new information.

“Can I get seconds!?” Mimi shouts.

“Sure, but wipe your face first,” Anastasia replies. Mimi nods and quickly wipes her face off before running to the counter to ask for more.

“She’s super cute, ain’t she. You couldn’t tell just from lookin’ at her, but she’s actually second-in-command of my personal army.” Anastasia says, looking at her fondly.

“Hm, so Crusch is the one buying all the supplies?” Subaru questions for clarification.

“Indeed.” Anastasia nods, but she gains a slight shrewdness to her mannerisms. Subaru opens his mouth to say something but I smack my hand down on the table before he can.

“So, why is that the information you chose to reveal as thanks? You could’ve offered us something, or said you’d cover lunch instead, but no, you gave us information that doesn’t particularly matter to us, why?” I ask her.

“Hmph, and right as he was about to say somethin’ too, you’re correct, I thought I could glean somethin’ from your words and facial expressions, too bad.” She pouts.

“Wait, what?” Subaru asks, confused.

“It was a setup from the start,” I explain.

“What!?” Subaru splutters.

“Don’t freak out, I simply heard some rumors you fought with Crusch last night, and thought it’d be perfect to take advantage of. I didn’t expect this one here to be so shrewd, but I know when I’m beat. So here’s what I actually wanted to give you.” Anastasia sighs, slipping over a folded piece of paper.

“This is?” Subaru asks, holding it up.

“I heard about some of your problems, so I wanted to offer you a dragon-drawn carriage as thanks for talkin’ to Julius. It’s faster than any of the ones Crusch can offer at the moment.” She states.

“Oh, thanks,” Subaru says, pocketing the paper.

“Now that I’ve done so much for you, don’t you think I deserve a little scrap of info?” Anastasia pouts.

“Nah, I think we’re good. Thanks, though.” I tell her.

“Worth a shot.” She sighs. She’s acting like this, but I have a sneaking suspicion she already got what she needed. With that, we all say goodbye and leave the cafe, and once we step out, we run into a dejected Rem.

“How did it go?” Subaru asks, even though we already know the answer.

“They didn’t agree to help us, said that the information was too vague, and they didn’t have the manpower to investigate every little hint at where the Witch Cult could be hiding,” Rem replies.

“Fuck…we don’t have time. Rem, send a letter to Crusch telling her thanks, but that we’re leaving. Then meet us by the appa stand, we’re going to grab a dragon carriage and head out.” Subaru states, Rem nods, and Subaru and I hurry off toward the appa stand. We already have most of our stuff on us, and if everything works out, we can retrieve what’s left easily.

When Rem returns, Subaru opens up the paper and follows the instructions on it to find where the carriage is being kept. This one has no top, so I lie on the bottom of it as Rem and Subaru take the front. I can only hope that we make it in time.

Chapter Text

The ride is tense, with my thoughts racing. If we get there in time, how do we get everyone out of the domain? What if we have to fight the Witch Cult again? Will we even make it in time? The questions swirl around in my brain…I really don’t want to die again. But more than that…seeing the bodies, watching people die like that.

As my train of thought continues, I can feel myself getting sicker, so I quickly stop it, focusing on the swaying carriage as we drive along. It’s dusk now, the sky changing to dark oranges and reds that stain the sky with color.

While I’m looking at the sky, the carriage suddenly starts to slow down, and I raise myself up to get a glance at what’s happening. Doing so, I spot a familiar figure waving us down. It’s Otto, the merchant who took us to Roswaal’s domain the first time. He’s standing next to a bunch of caravans, and I can tell Subaru has an idea as we pull over. As night falls, we end up next to a fire, merchants surround us as we all eat dinner.

“You want transportation from here to the Mathers' domain? It’s pretty late, that sounds dangerous.” Otto worriedly tells us. Subaru had told Otto our plans earlier.

“You could stay with us instead, we’re camping here.” He invites cheerfully.

“Hah! You say that, but I’m sure you just want to get rid of all that oil you bought out of season.” A merchant laughs, and the others laugh alongside him as Otto panics.

“No way! I wasn’t thinking that! Though…it would be nice if you used a bit of it…” Otto trails off after denying.

“Seriously? How did you manage to get that much out of season?” I question Otto.

“Well, it’s actually a pretty funny story. I was in this small town towards the west a bit, and some guy was talking about this rare oil he had that he wanted to sell, well I misheard him and thought he said rare soil, and soil was selling pretty hot at that time, so without thinking I immediately said yes.” Otto explains.

“You’ve got to be kidding.” Subaru huffs out a puff of laughter.

“Hahahaha, no way, so you signed off on it without even seeing the product?” I cackle.

“Right! I’ve never heard of a merchant making that kind of mistake before.” The other merchants laugh.

“Ahhh, what am I going to do? I probably can’t even sell it at the capital.” Otto sighs. I pat the man on the back in sympathy.

“Wait, Otto, could I ask for your help? If I were to buy all the oil you have, could you offer transportation? In fact, if any of you want to sell transportation for money, I’ll do it.” Subaru says, looking out over the merchants. I didn’t even think of that, but this is perfect. If we do that, then we can get everyone out in time.

“What’s this for?” One of the merchants asked suspiciously.

“Oh, it’s for transporting people,” Subaru replies cheerfully. A ripple of disgust and shock rolled around the merchant's faces.

“You idiot!” I shout, ruffling his hair.

“Not anything weird like that, there’s a village in the Mathers’ domain, we want to transport the people somewhere else for the time being.” I clarify.

“We will, of course, pay you generously,” Rem adds, holding up a bag of money. Nice going, I shoot her a thumbs up and she winks back at me. That’s the final push the merchants need, with all of them immediately agreeing to our deal. With that, we pack up all the stuff, deliver the money, and get on the road.

I hop in the back of the carriage with Rem and Subaru, holding onto the side to keep myself steady as I place my head between them, the wind running through my hair as we start racing through the night toward the Mathers' domain.

“Sorry, we won’t be able to take breaks; speed is key here.” Subaru apologizes to Otto, who is riding beside us at the front.

“Oh, it’s fine, I’m willing to do anything as long as it means I get that oil out of my hands,” Otto replies cheerfully.

“I feel like you should choose your words better, considering you’re a merchant and all.” I deadpan, staring straight at Otto.

“Wha! That’s not what I meant!” He blushes, pouting and turning away.

“Subaru, could I see the map for a second? I put it in your bag.” Rem cuts in, pointing to Subaru’s side. He digs around inside the bag for a second before pulling out a map.

“Here! Though it’s too dark to see anything…wait!” He suddenly shouts with glee and rifles through his pocket before retrieving an item, his cell phone. I blink, staring at it for a second. I almost forgot we had those. I left mine at home since there wasn’t much I could do with it. He turns on the flashlight, illuminating the map for everyone to see.

“What’s that?” Rem asks, staring at a phone.

“It’s a cell phone, a piece of wonderful technology you can use for all sorts of things. Ahhh, I miss mine so much. I used it to play offline games and ran out of battery almost immediately.” I sigh, I really miss that thing. Maybe I should hold a funeral for it when we get back.

“That looks like a seriously complicated piece of technology.” Otto comments.

“Yep, and now that you’ve seen it, you should just forget we ever had this conversation, knowing about something like this could send you to an early grave.” Subaru teases.

“I know it’s a joke, but for something like that, I can almost believe you aren’t kidding.” Otto chuckles. Rem has been looking at the map this whole time, and after she studies it, she turns to look into the distance.

“We should be able to see Flugel’s tree in a bit, as long as we head northeast from there, we should be able to reach the Mather’s domain soon.” Rem states.

“Flugel’s tree?” Subaru asks.

“It’s a giant tree, standing so tall that it appears to pierce the clouds, and legend has it that a wise man named Flugel planted it centuries ago,” Rem explains.

“Woah…that’s actually really freaking cool!” I gush, looking forward, trying to spot the tree. I have seen many fantasy things in this new world, but a giant tree has got to be a standout. I look over to Subaru, and he looks like he’s about to say something, but I get a creeping feeling up my spine and whip my head around.

There was…a caravan, next to us, right?

“Hey, guys? Where’d the guy next to us go?” I ask, Subaru glances over and notices it too.

“Oh, you’re right, where’d bandana guy go?” He questions.

“What’s wrong, guys?” Otto glances over to us.

“Uh, the guy riding next to us disappeared, I think he ran off course or something,” I tell him. He just looks at us in confusion though.

“The older bandana guy.” Subaru clarifies.

“Uhm, what are you guys talking about? There wasn’t anybody riding on that side.” Otto states, giving us a weird look. I feel all the blood in my body instantly freeze, a strangled gasp stuck in my throat. The horrible feeling in my gut intensifies, and that’s when I notice the fog.

It rolls around us, cold and sticky, clinging to the ground and weaving through the caravans. A dark shadow floats over the top of us before settling next to us. My breath hitches in my throat as I stare at it, not comprehending that there’s a shape next to us.

With shaking hands, Subaru grabs his phone again and turns on the flashlight. An eye. It’s a giant eye staring back at us. I look up at it in horror as it turns to stare at us.

“Oh…fuck.” I swear.

“Augh!” Subaru shouts, recoiling backward. This scares the giant creature, its pupils dilate, and it lets loose a loud roar that makes me take one hand off the side to cover my ears. I can’t tell what happens next, but there’s a woosh of air that knocks me off my feet and into the air.

Air rushes around me as a fly around in a disorienting fashion, I feel a hand grab onto my back and toss me onto the back of a caravan, Subaru landing beside me. My body aches from the rough treatment, but it’s better than being a pancake on the road. There are screams of terror, and suddenly, the caravan we’re on goes careening side to side. It’s a struggle to hold on as the caravan shakes and shudders.

“What the fuck is happening?!” Subaru screams over the noise.

“Stay down!” Rem calls out, she doesn’t need to tell me twice. The wind rushing about is like that time I fell off the carriage with Ram, except ten times worse.

“There’s only one being who can move through the fog that fast at that size…the White Whale!” Otto reveals, his voice tense. A conversation from earlier rings in my head, about how encountering the White Whale is equal to death.

“Rem, can you see it?!” Subaru shouts at Rem, who is holding onto the side of the carriage and staring out. I slowly pull myself up beside, staring out.

“No, it’s too dark!” She replies. She’s right, the fog and darkness of night cover up any visibility we had prior.

“What about the other caravans!?” Subaru asks.

“I don’t see any, they must’ve scattered and fled!” I shout back. A sudden roar shakes the caravan, and I turn backward just in time to see a mouth open and start to breathe in. I can feel the caravan pulling against the force, but the wind gets harsher, and I can feel myself getting pulled back. I spot Subaru getting dragged backward, and suddenly, he’s not in the carriage anymore. He’s dangling in the air, barely holding onto a strap.

“Subaru!” I shout out. Rem gives out a roar as she jumps up from the caravan and toward the White Whale, striking out with her morningstar. I use that chance to slowly crawl over and grab Subaru, pulling him back in as the caravan starts shifting to the left.

Rem pulls us both toward the back of the caravan as she splits off the side, throwing it at the White Whale. It gives out a cry of pain, but doesn’t let up the chase.

“Did that get it?” Otto asks desperately.

“No, it’s still coming,” I tell him.

“Fuck! Why is it only coming after us? What about the other caravans!?” Otto splutters. A feeling of dread rises in my chest, but I don’t say my fears out loud.

“C’mon, think, think, think, is there something? Anything? Fuck!” A curse and a feeling of pain bring me out of stupor. I spot Subaru slamming his fist into his head.

“Subaru, take this.” Rem walks over to Subaru and hands him a bag. His eyes light up with hope for a second.

“Did you think of something?” He asks.

“I’m going to get off and intercept it, you guys escape the fog while I’m doing that.” Rem smiles.

“What! No! Take me with you, I’m sure I can be of some help!” I cry out, there’s no way I’m letting her go off on her own again. I don’t want to see her die again, not like this.

“You need to stay and protect Subaru, Otto, take care of them. Subaru has your payment.” Rem tells the merchant.

“Payment!? That’s the least of my worries!” Otto screams.

“Subaru, Erik, I know I’m not the smartest, so this is the only plan I could think of, so please…”

“Wait! I’m not going to let you go through with this! What if you don’t make it out?! What am I supposed to do then? That’ll be the…” I trail off, tears in my eyes, afraid to say the next words for fear of a squeezing in my heart.

“If you…again…then I-” Subaru’s words get cut off as the caravan strikes a stone and we all stumble. I manage to stay upright, but Rem falls onto Subaru, and suddenly, he’s hugging her tightly against his chest and crying.

“Please…please don’t do this.” He begs.

“I’m sorry, but this is the only thing…I can do for you.” She whispers, leaning in. I notice it too late, there’s a stinging sensation in my neck, and I collapse to the ground. I watch Rem leave as my consciousness slowly fades out, unable to do anything.

When my eyes crack open, I immediately search for the blue-haired maid, but she’s nowhere to be seen. Across from me, I spot Subaru doing the same before turning to Otto at the front of the caravan.

“Where’s Rem!?” He shouts.

“Ah, be careful back there! The ground dragon is running at full speed, and I can’t watch over you two.” Otto warns.

“Otto, tell me, where’s Rem?” I demand, my voice low and menacing.

“...In order to lose the White Whale, Rem jumped out to intercept it, allowing us to escape.” Otto sighs painfully.

“Damn it!” I yell out, tears pricking my eyes.

“...Go back.” Subaru orders.

“What?” Otto questions.

“I said, go back! We have to go back for Rem!” Subaru launches himself to the front to grab Otto.

“Are you insane!? Did you see that monster! We can’t go back!” Otto screams.

“Exactly! That’s exactly why we have to go back! Didn’t you see that monster!” Subaru cries out.

“Do you want what she did to be in vain!?” Otto tries to reason.

“Fuck that shit! She doesn’t deserve to just be used as a sacrifice! Doesn’t she understand her life is precious?” I say, gritting my teeth.

“How dare you fucking speak for her! You abandoned her!” Subaru points out.

“Do you two even understand how terrifying the White Whale is?! When a punitive force sent out by the Kingdom of Luginica to kill it, the White Whale managed to kill the Master Swordsman!” Otto shouts.

“...Shit.” I breathe out in surprise.

“I’m weak, and so are you. And even if you could do something against it, you’re only one person. There’s no way we can save her.” Otto says painfully, looking at me for the last part.

“Ugh…fuck.” I curse, looking down.

“But Rem…she isn’t that strong either,” Subaru says, a tear trickling down his cheek.

“Well, we were fortunate to escape it for now, but there’s no telling when it’ll show up again in this mist,” Otto says, and something about his words seems off. It’s a complete flip from his attitude before, less stressed, more relaxed.

“Watch your words!” Subaru admonishes him.

“Huh?” Otto looks at Subaru in confusion.

“Fortunate? You must be fucking joking, do you even know how Rem felt when she-”

“Who’s Rem?” The words make my head snap toward Otto. What the actual fuck? We were just talking about her, how could he forget that?

“Are you trying to forget her already? That’s fucked man!” I snap at him.

“There wasn't anyone by that name in the merchants that separated from us, I really don’t know who you’re talking about.” Otto quickly defends.

“Huh?” Subaru questions in shock. My mouth is hanging open as I stare at him.

“Do you…seriously not know who we’re talking about?” I question.

“Really! I don’t know who this ‘Rem’ person is, I’ve never heard of them.” He replies.

“What!?” Subaru shouts, running his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“I’m sorry, I just have no idea who that- augh!” Otto suddenly lets out a scream of shock, I turn to find the White Whale staring at us from the side. No…it can’t be. Rem was supposed to be holding it back.

“Why, why, why, why, why!? Why the fuck is it so persistent!? I thought we left it behind!” Otto freaks out, grabbing at the lantern and throwing it, maneuvering away from the White Whale. The sinking feeling in my gut grows; there’s only one reason I can think of for the White Whale coming after us specifically.

“Why only us? Even in this darkness…it’s like it’s following some sort of…mark.” Otto theorizes.

“No…it can’t be, is that monster, the White Whale…is it a mabeast?” Subaru turns, asking Otto. Shit, shit, shit, this can’t be happening.

“So, it’s being drawn to me?” When Subaru mutters these words, I freeze.

“It’s my…fault.” He sobs. I turn around as quickly as I can, trying to grab Subaru, but it’s too late.

“Please…die.” These are the words Otto mumbles before pushing him out of the caravan. I only have a second to rush to the front of the caravan and try and reach out, but I miss, his fingers missing my hand by an inch.

I’m thrown back into the chair by the injuries. Arms, legs, face, side, scraping across the ground, bruises appearing over my skin as I cry out in pain. All while keeping consciousness, feeling every bit of pain that appears on my body.

“Fuck! Why? Did I really just do that? But…I had to live…and so…” I hear Otto mumbling from beside me.

“You fucking bastard!” I shout, fighting through the pain to punch him in the face.

“I don’t care what you do! I’m going back for him!” I yell out, turning to get off the caravan, holding my side, I think my ribs might be broken.

“No, you can’t!” I feel a hand on my shoulder as Otto holds me back.

“You can’t stop me!” I shout at him, tears pouring freely down my face. I just watched this man push my best friend out of a damn caravan and to his death, fuck him if he thinks he can tell me what to do. Before I can move, though, another bout of pain rips its way through my body.

“Augh!” I cry out in pain, my body falling back into the seat. My arms getting the worst, new bruises popping up as blood runs down my face.

“What’s going on?” Otto looks over in horror.

“This! This is what my best friend, the man you pushed out of the caravan, is going through!” I scream spitefully, smirking at the expression of guilt and horror that appears on his face. I move to get up again, but before I can, the caravan stops.

“What is it now?” I huff, glancing around, I notice the mist is gone, and in front of us, a distance away, is the forest.

“I don’t know, the ground dragon just stopped, give me a second…” Otto trails off, trying to figure out. That’s when I notice how quiet it is. Through all the pain, I grab onto my daggers and throw one toward the right, and blood sprouts from the neck of a cloaked figure.

The Witch Cult. Three more show up in front of us, and Otto reels back in fear. One of them rushes forward, dagger in hand, and I run out to meet them. My legs are fine, but my arms hurt with every move I make, and it’s a strain to try and focus. I manage to sidestep the initial cut and gut the Witch cultist. The next one tosses their dagger at me, but I parry it and stab at their face.

The last one raises their arms above their head, ready to blow up the caravan with magic, but I toss my remaining dagger with all the force I can muster, and it cuts them clean in two.

“Ugh, fuck.” I curse, sliding down, my arms twinging in pain.

“Uh, uhm, thank you for protecting me.” Otto squeaks.

“I didn’t do it for you, asshole. I did it for myself. I didn’t want to die here.” I spit, glaring at him. He scrambles off the caravan and grabs my daggers, placing them beside me and backing up. I realize I’m too tired to move, and sigh in frustration.

Otto nervously looks around, it’s clear he doesn’t want to be here any longer than he has to.

“You can leave, I don’t care,” I tell him, lying back on the ground.

“I…I don’t want to leave you out here alone.” Otto responds weakly.

“Yeah? You sure didn’t fucking hesitate to push my friend out of the damn caravan.” I shoot back harshly, I watch him flinch. And so…we just sit there, neither of us speaking to each other as I stew in my own pain and anger. Until the night changes to morning, and I hear footsteps behind me.

“Subaru!” I turn, launching myself to my feet and running over to embrace him. We go sprawling to the ground, and my wounds ache, but it doesn’t fucking matter because he’s here and didn’t die by himself, away from me, scared and alone.

“I’m so fucking sorry, I tried to grab onto you but I couldn’t make it in time and then we got attacked when I tried to leave.” I babble, sobbing into his chest.

“It’s alright, it’s not your fault.” He comforts, patting my head. I sit up, still sniffing, and turn back to Otto, giving him a sharp glare.

“You’re not going to speak a word. And you’re going to take us into that forest and toward the village. You don’t even get to say sorry, you don’t get even the chance for an apology.” I tell him. He squeaks and nods, hopping in to drive the caravan. Subaru and I support each other as we hop on the back of the caravan.

The ground dragon moves slowly, tired after a night of running full speed. We approach the forest slowly, and the ground dragon stops a short distance in. Not able to go any further. I groan, we don’t have the strength to walk any further. What happens if we don’t make it in time?

“Huh? What are you doing here?” A sudden voice interrupts my thoughts, and Subaru lights up beside me.

“Guys! Back here! I’m so glad…we made it in time.” Subaru shouts for the voices, I see them as they come around the side of the caravan. It’s the kids from the village. They flock around us, and then, the strain becomes too much, and I pass out.

When I wake up, I’m lying on a bed, sore, but feeling a lot better. I recognize the place as the mansion. When I turn my head, I spot pink hair, a girl in a maid's outfit…Ram. Fuck, I can’t believe I didn’t think about Ram…what am I supposed to tell her?

“Ah, you’re awake. What happened? You and Barusu were in terrible shape, we barely managed to heal you, and for a second I thought…” She trails off, carefully guarding her expression. She’s worrying about me, when I’m part of the reason Rem is gone…but, Otto didn’t remember her.

“Ram…do you know someone named…Rem?” I ask her, testing the waters.

“I’ve never heard of such a person. Are they the ones that did this to you?” She questions. Fuck…she doesn’t remember. She doesn’t remember her sister and it’s all my fault and I’m a horrible fucking person.

“Hey, stop it, you’re hyperventilating,” Ram says, grabbing at my hand to try and ground me.

“...Sorry, no, it wasn’t that person who did this,” I answer her.

“Was it the grey-haired man? We’re keeping him under watch right now.” She asks, and my face twists in displeasure at the mention of Otto.

“No…it wasn’t him, though he is a bastard. It was the White Whale…and the Witch Cult.” I tell her, and her face freezes, before turning into burning hatred.

“Right, I’ll go tell Emilia to let the grey-haired man go, and I’ll go check with Barusu,” Ram says, standing up to leave.

“...I’m sorry.” I apologize.

“What for?” She asks.

“You…don’t remember,” I tell her, stating it as a fact rather than a question. She shrugs her shoulders and exits the room. A little while later, the door opens again, and Otto enters.

“Why are you here?” I ask him bitterly.

“Because…I wanted to apologize. But let’s be honest, that would just be to make myself feel better. I wanted to survive, and I thought pushing a person off the caravan was the best way to do that. But I couldn’t deal with having two lives on my hands, so I forced you to stay behind.” He says, standing at the edge of the room.

“...So you admit you fucked up? That’s it? What were you expecting…coming in here?” I ask him. Sitting up to glare at him.

“I don’t know, but I had to say it. I’ll probably be leaving now. Just…I just wanted to tell you, it wasn’t your fault.” He states, looking away guiltily.

“You…fuck you! You know nothing about me, about us! What right do you have to barge in here and say that!?” And then I’m crying, heaving sobs into my hands as snot pours out of my nose.

“Why are you saying something like that…to me of all people?” I sob.

“Eh! Ah, I don’t know…it just seemed like you’re the type of person to get caught up in that sort of thing…Natsuki too.” Otto explains hastily.

“You’re a jerk…and I hate you…but thanks. I still don’t forgive you.” I add on at the ends. Wiping tears from my face. I glance up at Otto…and freeze. I feel the temperature in the room get lower, everything becomes fuzzy, and I feel something reach out for my heart, and lightly caress it.

“Are you alright?” Otto asks worriedly when I gasp back into the present.

“I…no, something’s wrong.” I huff out through panting breaths. I rip the sheets off and shakily stand to my feet. I have bruises scattered all over my body, and my legs feel like jelly, but I fight through the pain and make my way toward the door.

“Wait, if you go like that, you’ll hurt yourself!” Otto reaches out. I glance at his hand, thinking about brushing past it…but it would only take longer if I fall.

“...Fine.” I relent, grabbing his hand and leaning against him for support. We walk through the halls of the mansion, it’s a slow agonizing crawl as we look around for someone. I can’t find Ram, and Subaru isn’t in the room he was in before we left for the capital. That only leaves one place left to check.

When we finally make it to Emilia’s room, a significant amount of time has passed, enough for the afternoon to turn into dusk. Am I really that weak right now? When we push the door open, I hear a faint voice speaking.

“At least die where I can’t see you, I suppose.” When I open the door to the room, and walk all the way in. Subaru isn’t there, neither is Emilia, only Beatrice stands there, with blood on the floor in front of her.

“Where is he…where the fuck is he!?” I scream, pushing away from Otto and running toward her, stopping in front of her as my legs give way.

“He said he wanted to die, so I gave him the choice. Besides…everything is already hopeless, Emilia is dead.” Beatrice reveals.

“That…how?” I question, the tears starting to build up again.

“I don’t know, but it has something to do with that boy, in fact,” Beatrice states.

“...Send me to him. You sent him away, send me to him.” I demand, glaring at Beatrice.

“I can’t do that, in fact. That boy has made his mistakes, and so I sent him away to deal with on his own.” She answers.

“No, please, I don’t want…he can’t be alone when he…when I…I don’t want to…alone.” I choke out the words, my breathing picking up as I struggle to say any at all. Right then, I feel a subtle choking on my neck, and I can barely breathe, more than before.

“Hrgk, gk!” I choke out, struggling.

“This, what’s happening? I don’t understand?!” Otto panics.

“...Bubby.” Beatrice breathes, looking out the window and into the distance. I feel a shiver on my skin, and look down to see my fingers and toes freezing over. Ice…Puck…no.

“This, don’t tell me that was Puck!?” I shout out loud, looking over my fingers. Beatrice simply looks at me with pity and sadness.

“Seriously? Why is this happening again…I don’t want it to hurt…again. Please, I don’t want to die. Not like this, not alone.” I babble as the cold sensation spreads up my body. It’s cold, obviously, with my skin freezing over. But it also burns, the sensation floods my senses as I sob.

As my body freezes over, I can feel my skin crack and break off. Somehow, despite being numb, I can still feel the pain. I’m still aware, but I can’t scream or cry, because everything is frozen.

“No..why?” I can see Otto kneeling down beside me. Ah, I should’ve forgiven him. That was my last thought before complete and utter darkness took over my consciousness.

Chapter Text

When my eyes blink open…again, the first thing I feel is tiredness. A bone-deep tiredness, I can feel it in my soul. And then I feel anger, a burning anger in the pit of my belly. We’ve tried so hard and done so many different things. And still…it never works.

Why do we do all of this just to suffer? It doesn’t make sense! I want to kick something, to break something. And then I’m hit with sadness, a sadness that makes me wonder if we’ll ever make it out, a sadness that makes me think, what if we never do?

I turn to glance at Subaru, to try and get an idea of what he’s thinking…of what we should do. Except…he looks as tired as I am. Even more, maybe. And I end up freezing, only able to watch as he stands there, glancing between me and Rem…before running away.

I blink in surprise, turning to Rem. I don’t even get a second to celebrate the fact that she’s alive again before she turns back to me with a quizzical expression, and we both immediately turn to run after him. I’m a fucking idiot, it’s the only thing running through my mind as we chase Subaru through the streets. How could I not notice how he was feeling? We’d gone through the same things, yet I only cared about myself and how I was feeling.

Of course, I was worried about him, but I never thought these things…affected him in the same way they affected me. I should’ve known, the time before when he was gone from the world, when he completely gave up. Maybe I treated him too harshly, fuck if I haven’t felt that way myself a few times.

We followed up some stairs and toward an area overlooking the capital with broken columns littered about. He paused there, stopping at the edge, not turning to look at us. Rem and I both stopped, waiting behind him for Subaru to do something, say something.

“Ah, sorry about that, I was a bit stressed, so I made you guys follow me all the way here.” He apologizes with fake cheer in his voice. It makes my heart break to hear it, it’s hard for me to remember that he’s just a kid, like me. He’s still a high schooler, seventeen years old.

“It’s fine, you really worried me for a second, running off like that.” Rem says, a bit of hesitance in her voice, like she’s trying to figure him out.

“I’m sorry I worried you both, but it’s fine, I’m alright now. Geez, you guys really only see me at my worst, getting all depressed and stuff, but it’s fine, I get it now.” He responds, his words give me a terrible feeling in my gut.

“Get…what?” I ask him, my tone laced with worry.

“Really, I’ve bothered you both for a while now, a lot of people in fact. The solution was looking me in the face the whole time, but I didn’t want to think about it. It’s frighteningly simple, I just don’t know when to give up.” He sighs, stretching his body, half-turning himself to face us. I don’t like where this is going, and neither does Rem as she gives him a confused expression.

“Hm? But that’s what I find so wonderful about you.” She tells him.

“It’s fine, I’ve known this whole time…I just didn’t want to accept it. But after this and that, I realized a few things, I’ve decided…Rem…Erik…” He trails off, moving to the side to face us completely.

“Yes?” We both answer, gazing into his tired face.

“Run away with me, as far as we can go.” He says, offering his hand. What? I stare at him in shock, my jaw opening slightly. But he just continues on, rambling over our lack of answer.

“I think we should leave the capital, go to the west, or maybe the north. I heard nobody can enter the kingdom to the south, so that’s off limits. And I don’t like cold weather, so personally, I say we go west. It’ll be a long journey, and I know this is a quick decision, so it won’t be easy…” Rem and I stutter as he rambles.

“Subaru! Stop!” I finally shout, cutting him off.

“You…sound like you’re planning to go to a different country. Is this another plan of yours? Something to help Miss Emilia and Lord Roswaal?” Rem asks, hoping for a yes.

“That’s not what this is.” Subaru cuts her off, his voice turning serious.

“I can’t do anything in the capital…but I’m even worse off going back to the mansion. That’s what I’ve figured out, so…please, will you two run away with me? We can’t stay here, that’s what everything has been telling me. I didn’t want to believe it, so I denied it…but it’s true, I’m useless.” The pain in his expression makes my heart ache. How could I not have seen this? It’s so obvious.

“That’s not-!” Rem tries to cut in, but Subaru cuts her off instead.

“It is true!” He shouts, making Rem pause.

“It’s been spelled out for me time and time again, I mean, really? What have I even done!? Nothing, I would’ve gotten strung along if not for you two. I’m useless, so I should just disappear; it’s for the best. Anything I do will lead to a dead body, or hurting someone…I’ve had enough…so let’s just run.” His eyes flicker to me and back down to the ground as he talks. His voice is strained, as if even talking about it brings him pain.

“Subaru no…you’re not-” I try to tell him.

“But I am! You’ve been doing all the work for me, I can’t do crap on my own! And even together, it’s just…useless.” He says, I can only focus on the dark circles under his eyes. Circles that weren’t present just a few loops ago.

“Subaru…this is just so sudden, I-” Rem begins to say before getting interrupted again.

“I know it’s sudden, but it’s for the best. So you two have to choose. Me…or someone else. We can get a dragon-drawn carriage and head west…to…Kararagi, I think it was. We could buy a house and start living together. I know things would be hard, but together, we could do it! We could be happy…so please, run away with me…choose me.” He pleads, bending down and extending his hand to us.

It would be so easy…to take it. It’s so easy to imagine our life together in Kararagi. We could get work, we would stay at home together, playing games, and living our lives. We could relax, no more deaths. But…but, but, but, but…this wasn’t the Subaru I know.

It would kill him if we did that, I know it would. Rem too, they would be leaving the others to die, and it would kill them inside. Every single day we lived, knowing we killed the others would leave a fresh scar on our minds. I can’t let that happen to him…to us. Besides, he helped me grow, he helped me every single time I was feeling bad. So I should do the same.

“Subaru, I can’t run away with you…after all, we’re supposed to laugh as we talk about the future, remember?” Rem questions, smiling at him.

“I bet we can if we get moving…maybe not right now…but in the future-!” Subaru desperately tries to convince her.

“I’ve thought about it too…all of us, together. It would be wonderful, I’ve received an education thanks to Lord Roswaal, so I could easily find work. You two would be able to find work doing other things, or help me out, we could save up money and buy a house together, or a shop. We would be a family. I’m sure not everything would go to plan…but I wouldn’t mind that. I would want to die before you two, so I could look out at both of you and say ‘I’m so happy’. I could end my life happily, so happily.” Rem rambles, I let her talk, I need time to sort out my own words.

“If you want it so badly, then…” Subaru trails off.

“If you could want that future with a smile, then I would be truly happy to die that way. If I could live with you both, knowing that you wanted me to run away with you, that would make me happy from the bottom of my heart. But I can’t…because I know that if I leave now, I’ll be leaving behind the Subaru that I love most.” Rem glances down guiltily as she says it, like she’s betraying Subaru by saying it, but then she looks up with a determined gaze.

“Subaru, I would like you to tell me what happened, or if you can’t…then please trust me. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it right, but for now, I think we should go back. If we can take our time and consider things calmly, I’m sure we can reach an answer.” She suggests lightly. But it was the wrong thing to say, I can see it in his eyes.

“I’ve already been through this…I’ve already thought about this. I already suffered through this. Why do you think I gave up?” He questions.

“Subaru…it’s easy to give up, but…” Rem trails off halfway through what she said, I had no time to stop her. Subaru glares at her, his fist clenched.

“It’s easy to give up? Don’t give me that shit! There’s nothing easy about giving up! I tried my damn hardest through everything! I know I made my mistakes, and I know I had to fix them! I tried! I tried my damn hardest each and every time, trying to make things work, trying to be better! You think that I would give up this easy? Well, it’s not that easy! It was easier to think there was something…anything that I could do!” He huffs, gulping in a huge breath of air before continuing.

“But there’s not a single thing that I can do! I’ve tried! The only path to getting out of this is to give up! If I could do something…I would…out of everyone…I would…” His tirade becomes quieter by the end.

“Subaru…it is easy to give up, but it doesn’t suit you. I don’t know what you’ve been through to make you give up, or what happened to make you suffer. And I know I can’t thoughtlessly say I understand. But even so…there is something that I do know.” I listen to Rem talk, as she tells Subaru that he isn’t the kind of person to give up. I watch as his face contorts more and more into denial.

“I have, I have given up! Doing it all was impossible from the start, I tried, but everything slipped through my fingers…leaving me with nothing!” He cries out, in pain, in sorrow, in outrage.

“No, that’s not true. You have-” He cuts her off again.

“What do you know!? What the fuck do you know about me!? This is the kind of man I am! I have no strength, but I want it all. I have no knowledge, but all I do is dream. There’s nothing I can do, but I struggle in vain! I…I...hate myself!” He shouts, I flinch back in shock at the declaration, I never knew his feelings went this far.

“All I can do is talk big, I complain, but I never do anything! I tried and tried, but I still went nowhere! I still couldn’t keep my promises! You think I don’t know who I am? I know exactly who I am! Do you think I don’t feel ashamed every second of every day?! Every time I do something!? Huh?!” He questions, holding his head in his hands as he shouts.

“I have no personality, I’m empty! What do you think I did before I got here? Nothing! I’ve never done a single thing! I had all this time, all this freedom, yet I never did anything! And this is the result! I thought that coming here would save me, make me better, but it just pointed out my flaws even more. I’m just a cowardly piece of shit who worries about how others see me, and nothing, absolutely nothing about me has changed! I knew it…all along, that it was my fault. I absolutely hate myself.” He admits.

His tirade has stopped, and he’s on the verge of tears. The raw pain in his voice, every emotion and feeling he’s ever had about himself, being spit out as a verbal poison to himself. All those vile thoughts and emotions, the things weighing him down. I’ve collected myself now, and I know I have to do the only thing I know how.

I walk over to him, he glances up at me in confusion, hope, and fear all at once. And I punch him in the face, I feel it hit me with a sickening crack, but I don’t care as I lift him up by the collar.

“You idiot! You big fucking idiot! Why didn’t you tell me you were feeling this?! Why are you keeping all this shit inside when I’ve been right here? I know I’ve been a shitty friend, but I didn’t think I was this bad!” I yell, giving him my harshest glare, and he tries to interrupt me, but I ruthlessly cut him off.

“No, you don’t get to talk right now. Because out of everyone, I’m the only one who knows. We’ve gone through similar things, so if you’re giving up now, then what am I supposed to do? No, fuck that. I also thought about living together, how easy it would be to run away, but I thought about what it would do to you.” My mouth moves a mile a minute as I try to organize my thoughts into coherent sentences.

“If you left them all, you would feel guilty for the rest of your life. You’re not the kind of person who can leave people behind like that. Who fucking cares if life hates us, if we have to keep doing this again and again, the point is, everyone dies someday! News flash asshole, but we’re going to die at the end of our long happy lives. So who cares if we encounter some bumps in the road?!”

“We should live our fucking lives to the fullest! Live for others, live for ourselves! Giving up is easy sometimes, and sometimes it’s hard…but is that really what you want to do? Or do you want things to work out? Do you selfishly want everyone to get the happy ending they deserve? Because I know what I want, I want to live with you and everyone else in a big, happy, fairytale mansion until the end of our lives! So keep fucking struggling and live you idiot!” I shout in his face, breath heaving at the end of my speech.

I don’t even know if it got through to him; all I know is that I need a break. So I let him go, I walk away, and I sit to the side. Tears spill out of my eyes as I rub them furiously with my hands. I can hear Rem talking to him, but I can’t quite make out the words, something about him being her hero. A short while later, I feel a pressure at my back, and I turn slightly to see Subaru leaning against me.

“I’m sorry for saying all that stuff, I didn’t mean to lay it all on you like that.” He apologizes.

“I don’t know what you’re apologizing for. I should’ve talked to you about more stuff sooner, but I was too caught up in my own issues. I just wanted to not think about what we went through, so I ignored it, and in doing so, I ignored you.” I reply.

“Do you think we can do it?” He asks me, his voice vulnerable.

“I don’t know, but I think if we work together, it won’t be as bad,” I answer, a slight smile in my voice. And even if everything before has been shit, and if everything after is going to be shit, for that singular moment, I was happy. Truly happy.

Chapter Text

“Alright, if we’re going to make this work, we need to start planning,” Subaru states, clapping his hands together for emphasis. We were all sitting in the same area from before, we obviously couldn’t head back and do the same things that hadn’t been working, so I proposed we put our heads together and think of an idea.

“First, we need to compile the information we already have,” I suggest.

“Right, okay, so we know the Witch Cult is going to attack the mansion and village.” Subaru starts.

“Do we know the exact reason?” I ask him.

“Yeah, something about Emilia being a threat to them, I guess.” Subaru answers.

“Do we have any information on the Witch Cult that is attacking?” Rem questions.

“Mhm, their leader is a super creepy guy called Petelgeuse…he has this ability, he calls it Unseen Hand, I think. Anyway, it’s these hands that nobody can see, and he sends a bunch out to attack people.” Subaru explains. The thought sends shivers up my spine as I remember the feeling of my arm being twisted.

“Right…we also know Crusch has been preparing for something. She was talking with that guy, Russel, I think it was. And Anastasia said she was buying a bunch of weapons.” I add, shifting the focus away from the Witch Cult.

“What could she be preparing for?” Rem muses, tilting her head.

“About that, I think they are planning to subjugate the White Whale,” Subaru smirks, snapping his fingers.

“Are you sure?” I asked him, though it would make sense, but it wasn’t like there was a way to be a hundred percent sure.

“No, but it’s a bet I’m willing to take,” Subaru replies, “Not only that, but we also know the exact time and place it’s going to appear.” He adds.

“If we have that…then maybe we can negotiate with them.” I clap my hands together with excitement, we have something to offer, and Crusch was willing to listen to us, if we get enough leverage, we might be able to get her help.

“But what if we don’t have enough? She might ask for other stuff.” I tell the others, it’s better to plan for this stuff now than later.

“There are some magic stones in the Elior Forest, which is in Roswaal’s domain, you could offer her mining rights to them.” Rem suggests. Subaru and I nod our heads in agreement. That was perfect.

“So what do we suggest?” I say, glancing at Subaru.

“An alliance between the Emilia and Crusch camps,” Subaru responds with complete confidence.

“Hm, I think we should get some extra help for this, just in case. I have a feeling even that won’t be enough to sway Crusch. Plus, even if it was, the White Whale is a formidable enemy. What if Crusch can’t take it out?” I explain. Though I hate to imply Crusch is weak, the White Whale is just that strong.

“What about Anastasia and Russell? They’re both business people, we can sway them to our side with information more easily than others. Plus, Anastasia has her personal squad and Julius as a knight.” Subaru suggests.

“And we can use the same tactics for those two, if worst comes to worst, you still have your ‘Metia’,” I tell Subaru, pointing to his pocket.

“Right then, Rem, you go bring Anastasia and Russell into this, we’ll go talk to Crusch and get negotiations started.” Subaru ends the discussion.

“I’ll be back soon,” Rem states, bowing as she leaves. Subaru and I hurriedly rush through the capital and back to Crusch’s mansion. When we enter, it’s already nighttime. But when we ask for a meeting, Crusch happily agrees, and in a few short minutes, we’re sitting in her study.

“So, you would give us mining rights in exchange for?” Crusch asks, sitting on a couch across from us.

“An alliance between the Emilia and Crusch camps,” Subaru replies.

“Hm, though that is beneficial, it is not enough to warrant helping you with an alliance, especially if it involves helping with the Witch Cult,” Crusch states.

“I assure you, we have some information that you might like to get your hands on.” I look at Crusch as I say this, and a sparkle of interest appears in her eyes.

“Hoh? And what might that be?” She questions.

“The time and location of where the White Whale will appear,” Subaru says, a confident smile on his face. The change is instant, a pressure descends on the room, coming from no other than Wilhelm.

“The White Whale, you say?” He asks. Crusch gives him a sharp look, and Wilhelm stills before bowing.

“I apologize, the White Whale is something of a…personal matter, to me.” Wilhelm apologizes.

“It’s fine,” I reply, waving my hand to let him know it’s no big deal.

“Then, I must ask you two, how do you figure the White Whale has anything to do with this?” Crusch muses, tilting her head at us.

“Because of the increased traffic around your estate, plus the fact that you were buying a ton of armor and weapons. We put two and two together, we found out the White Whale was supposed to be appearing within the next few days, and guessed, it seems it was right on the money.” I answer her.

“Indeed, then, let me ask you, how do you know when and where the White Whale will appear?” Crusch questions.

“Because of this, it’s a Metia that can be used to tell me when the White Whale will appear,” Subaru states, placing his phone on the small table between our couches.

“Hm, a Metia, is it?” Crusch hums in acknowledgment.

“Well? Do you believe us?” Subaru pressures.

“Don’t worry, I believe you.” Crusch chuckles.

“It would be extremely difficult to lie to Miss Crusch,” Ferris smirks. Subaru and I tilt our heads in confusion.

“I have the divine protection of wind-reading. I can see a wind that blows around someone when they tell a lie.” Crusch explains.

“Oh, yikes, I’ll be a lot more careful with what I say around you from now on. Wait, can I commission you to ask people awkward questions? I swear it would be worth your time!” I exclaim, already thinking of the questions I’d ask.

“Not the time or place,” Subaru whispers, pinching me in the side.

“I don’t know why you did that, it hurts you as much as me.” I chide him.

“You hit me all the time. Stop your own bad habits before you preach about mine.” He scolds.

“Ahem, back on topic, do you think you’ll agree to the terms?” I turned back to Crusch, she was looking at us with amusement in her gaze and a small smile on her face.

“Well, even though I believe you, I wouldn’t quite say I’m ready to agree.” Crusch says, “This is not a light decision I have on my hands.” She adds as an afterthought, her expression turning serious again. Damn, I hoped it wouldn’t come to this.

“Excuse me, mind if we come in?” A polite voice asks from outside the door. With permission, it soon opens, revealing Rem, Anastasia, and Russell.

“Pardon us.” Russell greets.

“Anastasia Hoshin…and Russell fellow, did you bring them in?” Crusch turns a pointed glance to us as Rem takes a spot beside our couch.

“Hmph, I can’t believe ya’ll started without us, isn’t it important to have everyone here when startin’ negotiations?” Anastasia pouts.

“We thought they might help in our discussion.” I wink at Crusch as she sighs.

“The White Whale is a big obstacle to us business folk, I wouldn’t mind it disappearin’ for good. Of course, I’d be willin’ to lend my mercenary team for the occasion.” Anastasia offers.

“I, on the other hand, am very interested in the magic stone deal Sir Natsuki and Erik have proposed. It’s important to me as the representative of the merchant’s guild to monitor things like that if the stones are distributed through the capital under Crusch’s name.” Russell says, a shrewd glint in his eye.

“Then, we’ll say it once more. In exchange for an alliance between our camps, we are willing to offer a share in the magic stone mining rights and information on when and where the White Whale will appear. In other words, we are giving you everything you need to get rid of the mabeast that has terrified the world for so long.” Subaru smiles, I can’t help but feel proud of him, he’s come a long way.

“Of course, if our words mean nothing to you, then you can just ignore us. But if your goal and our wishes align, I think it would be beneficial for you to let us help you. Let’s hunt that fucker down.” I lean across the table, reaching my hand out to Crusch.

“Though there are a lot of unknowns, and I have a lot of questions as to how it got to this point. I’m going to trust your spirit, it was a wonderful negotiation and brilliant of you to figure out my plans…though, it would help not to use profanity in a negotiation.” Crusch smirks as she takes my hand.

“Oops, I may have gotten a little excited at the end,” I reply, my face turning red with shame.

“Well, that was quite the exciting deal, I’m sure you’ll hold to what I was promised after the subjugation?” Russell asks.

“Yes, we will give you the Metia once it is complete.” Rem answers.

“That was really stressful though. Couldn’t you guys have gotten here faster?” I whine, pointing at Anastasia and Russell.

“Ah, the little lady had us here right around when they began, but I suggested we wait for the right time to come in,” Anastasia reveals.

“Yeah, right, you just didn’t want to have to do as much work.” I accuse, Anastasia just shrugs and winks.

“Then, I need to get prepared, I hope you’ll shop with the Hoshin company in the meantime.” Anastasia advertises as she leaves. Russell slips out of the room along with her.

“So you guys planned everything out beforehand?” Crusch questions.

“Well, it wasn’t the best planning session ever, but it got the job done,” I tell her, heaving out a sigh and collapsing onto the couch, putting my feet on Subaru’s lap as he gives me an annoyed glare.

“Subaru…Erik, thank you.” Suddenly, Wilhelm is bowing to us.

“Wha-?” I make a noise of confusion.

“You both deserve gratitude that is equal to that for my lady, Duchess Crusch Karsten. As perceptive as you are, I’m sure you’re both aware, but if I may introduce myself…my name is Wilhelm van Astrea. I took the previous Sword Saint, Theresia van Astrea, as my wife, giving me the honor of the lowest seat in the bloodline.” Wilhelm pauses for a second to take a breath. I feel like my brain just exploded.

“I am grateful to you for giving me the opportunity to slay the loathsome mabeast that took the life of my wife,” Wilhelm states. Subaru and I are both silent for a second. Holy shit, this guys is related to Reinhard, oh fuck. I get a sense of foreboding, and I quickly turn to see the devious smirk on Subaru’s face.

“Nope, no, you are not going to say a word. Just shut up.” I throw myself at him, covering his mouth with my hands. I feel a cool sensation on the palm of my hand, and it takes me a split second to realize he licked it.

“Ew! Gross! What is wrong with you!? You fucker!” I shout, wiping my hands on my clothes.

“You know Wilhelm, Erik has the biggest-!” Before he can finish what he’s saying, I tackle him to the ground, covering his mouth again. I start to drag him out of the room.

“We’ll leave Rem to talk details, see you later!” I call out to the group still in the room as I take Subaru out. I drag him until I deem it safe and let him out of my grasp.

“C’mon, you’re no fun.” He complains.

“If you ever breathe a word of it to Wilhelm, I will make your life a living hell, and I know exactly how to do it.” I threaten.

“Okay, okay, geez…are we really prepared for what we’ve just done?” Subaru pauses for a second, his face changing as he asks the question.

“I have no idea, but this is our chance. We can get this done right, and I’m not going to waste it by being scared of the White Whale. We have so many people on our side, the only thing we can do is our best.” I reply, shifting uncertainly.

“...Yeah, you’re right. And hey, I’m sorry for all the shit I’ve done. I know I’m not the best person…but I’m working on it.” Subaru says, turning to me.

“Hey, I’m just as bad, alright? So let’s work on it together.” I tell him, putting my fist out for a fist bump. He glances up at me in surprise before smiling and bumping his fist against mine.

The rest of the night is busy as things shift, people start loading up dragon carriages full of supplies, and gathering anything they might need. I go to bed early, but the noise doesn’t help me sleep. Subaru sneaks out of our shared room for a bit before coming back, but eventually, I manage to get to sleep.

In the morning, Ferris leads us out to choose a ground dragon to ride. Subaru walks down the line up with an intense expression as the rest of us stand to the side.

“You’re not a ground dragon expert, seriously, just choose one already!” I yell at him.

“How do you know?” He shoots back, not even looking at me.

“I swear, this guy is insufferable,” I mumble.

“You’re just mad you have to ride in the carriage,” Subaru states.

“I hope your ground dragon drops you in mud.” I taunt childishly. Eventually, he settles on one. A proud-looking ground dragon with vibrant orange eyes and a regal air to her. I try to get close to her, and she snips at me, rude. She likes Subaru well enough, though.

After that, we’re brought into a room with all the people participating in the subjugation. We get to meet the head of Anastasia’s mercenary team, a demi-human named Ricardo. Crusch spots us over the crowd and makes her way over. She’s wearing her hair up in a ponytail and has armor on. I feel slightly bare compared to her, but I’d probably just be uncomfortable in armor.

“I didn’t think you guys would be participating. Can either of you fight?” Crusch asks us.

“I can, though I don’t know if it’ll be much help,” I add sourly.

“I can’t fight at all, so at least you’ve got that. But I have a way of being helpful during the fight. I have a way of attracting mabeasts, so you guys can attack while I lure it away.” Subaru explains.

“...I-What?” Crusch seemed shocked by the statement.

“I don’t sense any lies, so it must be true,” Crusch murmurs to herself. Subaru just has a proud smile on his face. Though I can do the same thing, I knew Subaru wanted to be in the battle himself, he would feel guilty just watching from the side, plus, it would let me focus on attacking.

Before we can continue speaking, a group of armored individuals enters the room and arrives before us. They thank us, and Crusch explains that they were people who all had a history with the White Whale. They were invited to be here by Wilhelm.

Ferris soon comes by to tell Crusch it’s time, and after a short speech, it’s time to set out. I get placed in a supply carriage, much to my unhappiness, but I open the window and stick my head out to speak to Subaru, even though it is hard to hear over the wind. When we finally arrive at the big tree, it’s already night, and my back is sore from the ride over.

“Seriously, I wish we had airplanes in this world, or some other form of easy travel. Riding in a carriage is not comfortable at all.” I whined, and my back flopped against the tree.

“Hey, look at this, someone graffitied the tree, Flugel was here, so cliche,” He mumbles, then louder, “Rem, gimme a chisel.” Subaru held his hand out to Rem, who was standing beside us as he investigated the tree.

“Even you wouldn’t be so dumb as to presume you wouldn’t get in trouble for that.” Rem deadpans.

“Maybe, but c’mon, it’ll be fun, plus, who really investigates a damn tree this big anyway,” I say, grabbing out my daggers and handing one to Subaru.

“So what should we do? Same thing as the guy above us?” I muse.

“Sure, let’s put them right under, maybe we’ll make a chain, and soon people from all over will graffiti the tree.” Subaru chuckles as we manage to very unelegantly carve our names.

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t see or hear any of this.” Rem sighs when we finish.

“Well then, good luck to us, if we fail, at least our names are engraved in this tree forever, haha.” My laugh sounds hollow even to myself.

“You two can always back out, it would be a weight off my shoulders.” Rem offers.

“As good as that sounds, if we suggested the idea and then didn’t participate, wouldn’t that make us awful people? Besides, this is history in the making, being part of a legendary battle like this and helping the world is something I’ve always wanted to do.” Subaru explains, staring up at the sky.

“Yeah, though it’s scary, I think we can do it.” I smile confidently.

“...Then, I have complete faith in you two,” Rem tells us. With that said, Rem and Subaru walk off to talk to Wilhelm a bit before the battle starts. I stay by the tree, simply staring at it. Something about it is calming, almost familiar, more specifically, the carving on the tree.

I run my fingers against it, simply letting my thoughts flow as I breathe, until I hear the sound to call all the troops together. I walk away from the tree and head over to the line-up. Though the wind would whip me around, I needed a ground dragon in order to move fast, so they willingly let me borrow one.

I was a bit nervous about this as I had to deal with making sure I didn’t fall off due to wind pressure. But the power I was able to tap into sometimes while fighting…if I could harness that, then maybe I’d be fine, at least for one battle. Who am I kidding? I was way too nervous about falling off and making a fool of myself; I didn’t even know how to ride one of these.

The wait was tense, rows and rows of people were staring at the sky, looking this way and that for a sign of the White Whale. You could feel the tension when Subaru’s alarm went off, and when we finally spotted it, you could hear the gasps from the troops. Covering the moon, it looked even bigger than before.

Right then, I was really doing this. What has my life become? I took a deep breath before giving Subaru a glance from where he was beside me.

“Let’s do this!” “Give him hell!” We shouted at the same time, kicking our ground dragons into gear.

Chapter Text

The battle starts with a bang, literally, with Rem shooting icicles at the White Whale as I throw daggers at it, not my normal ones, just a few extras lying around, feeling a pull from inside me as I wrap my arm with whatever ability Wilhelm was talking about. Blood spurts out as the attacks land, but I can barely focus as the wind almost knocks me off my ground dragon.

I was struggling to hold on and knew that if I didn’t do something soon, I was going to fall off. I focused on the warm energy in my arm, concentrating on spreading it throughout my body, and for a second, it worked. I didn’t feel the wind or the shaking of the ground dragon running as much.

“Woohoo!” That is, until I raised my arms and shouted with glee, undoing the effect as I lost my concentration. Cannons go off behind me as I lose my balance, almost falling off, until a steadying hand grips my back and keeps me on.

“We can’t have you falling off here!” Crusch shouts, I nod back at her and focus again, this time making sure I can keep it up. This ability won’t last forever, and I’m sure if I overuse it, I’ll be in for a world of pain, so it’s best if we finish this fight sooner rather than later.

Something gets fired off behind me, Crusch is gesturing to her eyes next to me, and I obediently close them. They had talked about this before the battle started; it was called the Night Banisher, I think. The effects were immediate. As soon as it exploded, the area around us lit up like it was daytime again.

The White Whale roars, the force of it creating a shockwave that pushes me back a bit. I place a hand in front of my face to cover it from the dust. It writhes around in the air, and I finally get a good look at the thing. Just like its name implies, it’s a giant white whale, with beady eyes, humongous fins, and a large horn on its head. The thing is big, how something that big can glide around in the air effortlessly is a mystery to me. If it wasn’t so scary, I’d even call it beautiful.

While I’m staring at it in wonder, Subaru and Rem run ahead, attracting its attention. The White Whale dives down to follow but gets hit by a wind blade courtesy of Crusch. It roars in pain as cannon attacks follow it up. I can’t help the small smirk on my face, seeing something that tormented us before whining like a baby certainly was a big ego boost.

Its attention focuses on Crusch now, and it starts descending toward her at a fast pace. She orders the troops behind her to disperse as the beast lowers itself to the ground to strike at the unmoving Crusch. From behind her, Wilhelm passes by, moving his ground dragon toward the White Whale.

“Right then, looks like it’s our turn,” I murmur to myself. The plan we had come up with beforehand had me teaming with Wilhelm to take down the White Whale; everyone would act in turns, with Subaru and Rem making sure to keep the White Whale’s attention away from everyone if things got dicey. I was surprised when Wilhelm had requested me to fight with him, but he said that he was used to my fighting style when we practiced together for all those days.

I follow behind Wilhelm on the ground dragon, stopping the ground dragon and jumping off just before the White Whale. To be honest, I was scared right now. The White Whale was huge, and last time, I couldn’t do anything. Not much had changed about me between then and now, either, but with strength flowing through me and Wilhelm at my side, I felt that maybe, just this once, I could actually do something.

“For fourteen years I have dreamed of nothing but this day, fall here and leave only your corpse behind.” Wilhelm seethes, glaring at the White Whale as it digs into the ground, mouth agape, ready to swallow us.

We jumped at the same time, I noticed Wilhelm do a cool spin out of the corner of my eye, only letting myself be jealous for a second as I landed plainly on its back. I started throwing daggers into its skin left and right, putting as much force behind it as possible. It writhed in pain, and I had to stick a dagger into its side to avoid falling off.

And then the damn thing took to the skies.

“Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, this can’t be happening!” I shriek as the White Whale lifts into the air, and I’m left dangling, merely hanging onto a dagger. I can see Wilhelm out of the corner of my eye running along its back, getting closer to me before reaching down and picking me up by the coat and flinging me over his shoulder.

“Thanks for the save,” I tell him gratefully.

“Don’t worry, I won’t let you die. Now, can you throw some more daggers while we’re up here?” Wilhelm asks.

“With pleasure.” I grin. I had lined the inside of my coat with as many daggers as possible. Throwing them into the White Whale’s back one by one was satisfying. It felt like I was getting back at it for all the pain it caused before. Even if it wasn’t the worst thing we faced it was still one scary motherfucker. When the White Whale stabilizes in the air, Wilhelm puts me down.

“Do you think you can manage? I suggest focusing some energy on your feet to hold on, or simply keeping one dagger in its skin at all times.” Wilhelm suggests.

“Yeah, I think I got it,” I reply, moving the energy down near my feet, keeping some in my arms but leaving my middle unprotected. I should really study more on what ability I’m using, if this has disastrous consequences to my body, I can only blame myself…and maybe Wilhelm for suggesting it.

At this point, more attacks are being flung at the White Whale, causing it to shake as I walk across its back, getting a feeling for moving.

“Alright…you can do this.” I hype myself up as I grab the two daggers hanging at my side.

“If you two make it through this battle with me, I’ll make sure to give you super awesome names.” Though I have no idea if it’s possible to hype up a weapon, I thought it better to try. I throw the daggers, and they cut through its flesh like butter, then I pull, and the daggers come flying back at me.

“Wait, shit, I didn’t think it’d be this fast!” I panic as I dodge, and it goes sailing past me. I had attached strings to the daggers to make sure I didn’t lose them in the fight, but I had clearly never practiced before, as the daggers went sailing past me, the string tightening and making me stumble a slight step.

My face flushed in embarrassment, but luckily, nobody had seen…probably. I go and pick them up, sending out another test strike. This time, I managed to catch the daggers before they went past me.

“Hell yeah!” I cheer, starting to run across its back, sending out strike after strike with my daggers and pulling them back afterward. Another explosion hits the side of the White Whale, and I almost get blown away, but I stick a dagger in its side just in time.

At this point, I’ve realized something is off. The White Whale is still in the air, despite all the attacks, it hasn’t lost any altitude. Its skin was barely injured by any of the cannons, which meant that half of our attacks weren’t working.

“Crap, I’d almost be impressed if it wasn’t so annoying,” I mutter. I catch sight of Wilhelm, tearing into its side, and decide to get back to work. Cutting into its flesh as I run along its back, occasionally throwing out a dagger or two to embed in its skin.

When Wilhelm cuts out its eye is when I decide to strategically make my exit, and by strategically, I mean that I jump off the side and scream as I fall down, closing my eyes until I feel arms wrap around my body. I open them to find Subaru staring at me with an unimpressed face.

“...What?” I ask him.

“...Nothing.” He glances away.

“No, what? Tell me!” I bang my fists on his chest lightly.

“It’s just…I’ve never quite seen someone jump on the back of a beast like that only to scream on the way back down.” He states.

“What are you trying to say?” I glare at him.

“Nothing, you wouldn’t be my best friend if you didn’t do something totally uncool to ruin the moment after all.” He smirks.

“Fuck you,” I say, flipping him off as Rem steers us toward my abandoned ground dragon. I hop on it just as the entire battlefield seems to freeze, everyone staring up at the White Whale. It had stopped attacking all of a sudden, instead, it was just floating in the air.

“Wait, look, it's eye.” Subaru points up and I take a closer look, its eye was gradually turning from yellow to red. That…can’t be good. A split second later, I’m forced to cover my ears as it lets out a deafening roar. A mist spreads out from its body and covers the battlefield as everyone watches in horror.

I kick my ground dragon into action, following behind Rem and Subaru as the mist blocks our sight. I can hear Crusch shouting for a retreat, and we follow her voice as the sounds of people screaming echo through the battlefield. A jet of mist almost eviscerated me, but I dodged out of the way in time. My whole body is strained tight, the ability I’m using is starting to falter a bit, but I hang on as we gather with the others.

Crusch starts asking about damages, hearing about all the people that died or disappeared makes me clench my teeth. But this is a battle, we were prepared for this. These people wanted to be here and help defeat it…but still, to be forgotten like that. It must’ve been the fog; those jets the White Whale sent out would erase someone from existence as it killed them.

My question is why. Why would a beast have that ability? It doesn’t make any sense. The attack would most certainly kill whoever got hit by it, so why make them disappear from memory entirely? It’s just too cruel.

Another group joins up with us, including Wilhelm and Ricardo. Crusch starts giving more orders to disperse, when suddenly, everyone brings their hands up to their ears. I blink in confusion as some people even fall off their saddles.

“What’s happening?” I question, glancing at Rem as Subaru goes to help one of the men who fell off.

“You don’t hear it?” Rem asks, clutching at her head. People around us are screaming, clawing at their faces and arms.

“It’s the fog, it’s letting out a noise that attacks our minds.” Subaru answers.

“Do you feel anything?” I ask him.

“No, but I did hear something in the beginning.” He shakes his head as he replies. I frown. I didn’t hear anything. Felix hops down from his ground dragon to heal the people who were injuring themselves.

The attack makes me shudder. What kind of beast does this? These attacks don’t make any sense. They’re not for killing prey, but for hurting them. In the worst ways imaginable. It makes me sick to think about it.

“Right…Crusch! I’m going to go buy us some time, make sure everyone regroups!” Subaru shouts at Crusch, running over to Rem and their ground dragon. I move to follow him, but Subaru shakes his head.

“You had your chance to be cool, now it’s mine. Besides, they need you here just in case.” He tells me, taking off on the ground dragon before I have a chance to protest. Crusch orders anyone who can move to take the injured to the base of the tree. I help drag them there, lightly biting the inside of my cheek with worry, until Wilhelm rides up next to me.

“Let’s go help, I’m sure you don’t want to be stuck here, and I’m afraid he won’t last much longer without help,” Wilhelm states, holding out his hand. I accept it, and Wilhelm pulls me onto the back of his ground dragon.

“Hold on tightly, save your strength for later.” He tells me, snapping the reins and pushing the ground dragon forward. When we finally catch sight of the White Whale, it’s already getting attacked by Ricardo, Mimi, and her brother. Wilhelm grabs onto my coat before I can say a word and throws me at the beast.

“Huh? Aaaaaaaaaa!” I scream as my body flings through the air and lands on the White Whale, right at Ricardo’s feet.

“Ah, good of you to join us, take out the air vents leaking mist.” Ricardo orders, picking me up and placing me upright.

“You got it,” I say, giving him a shaky thumbs up as I get to work. We eliminate a few more before the White Whale itself tilts up into the air, I dig a dagger into its back, but Wilhelm and Ricardo suddenly fly past me, with Ricardo grabbing onto my foot as he passes by,

“Are you kidding me? Not again!” I scream as my dagger dislodges, and we start falling to the ground. Once again, I land in someone's arms, this time it’s Wilhelm, who had managed to cut off a piece of the White Whale as he fell.

I shift to a more comfortable position as we all come to a stop, glancing around in search of the White Whale that disappeared into the air. Subaru and Rem are alright, I knew that, of course, because I would’ve felt if Subaru got hurt…but still, it’s nice to see for yourself.

“Isn’t it going to follow us?” Ricardo questions.

“Here it comes!” Wilhelm shouts before anybody can answer. We’re all forced to dodge to the side as a blast of fog comes down from the sky. Wilhelm and I are thrown off the ground dragon, the ground scrapes my arm and chest where I tumble.

“Shit, damn it.” I curse as my arms tremble from the pain.

“You two! Run!” The words catch my attention from the side, I turn my head to the side to see Subaru staring at me in horror, that’s the last thing I register before the ground below me is scraped up, and I realize that the jaws of the White Whale are closing around me.

Well, this was fucking great. My mind was scrambling to keep up with what had just happened. The White Whale had swallowed me up, I was in the White Whale’s mouth.

“Get up, we need to move before it realizes we’re still alive.” Wilhelm is here too, grabbing onto my coat and picking me up out of my stupor.

“Uh…right,” I reply dumbly.

“This isn’t ideal, but we’ve been given a chance, we can use it to damage the White Whale from the inside,” Wilhelm explains.

“Right.” I nod in agreement as we walk down the White Whale’s tongue. The shaking is still there, but it’s nothing compared to the outside. I tried very hard not to think of the disgusting spit that was getting all over my boots as we walked further in.

When we reached its throat, Wilhelm grabbed out his sword and started slicing in random places. I followed his direction and sliced my daggers across its throat, sticking it in and jumping down, using gravity to force my dagger down.

When I land, the ground shifts beneath me and I almost trip over, but Wilhelm grabs the back of my coat to prevent me from splatting onto its insides.

“We have to move fast and find a weak spot in its side; it’s already begun the process of digesting, and if we wait too long, the acid will melt us,” Wilhelm states. I turned around to see that he was right. The sides of the beast were secreting some weird mucus, and it was starting to fill up the place we were standing in.

I follow Wilhelm to an area, and he starts furiously cutting into it, and I follow along. I try not to think about the acid that is slowly making its way toward us, or the blood and other liquids now covering me. My stomach is already clenching at the situation, and I really don’t want to throw up right now. My arms are exhausted by the time we make a sizeable dent.

“Ugh, we’re never getting out of here! I can’t believe I’m going to die like this, after all we’ve been through.” I mutter frustratedly. I can’t help the few tears that leak out. Wilhelm shoots me a sympathetic expression.

“I’m sorry, it’s my fault you are in here. I should’ve been more aware.” He apologizes.

“It’s not your fault, I also should’ve been paying more attention.” I sigh.

“Would you like to hear a story?” Wilhelm asks as we continue trying to cut through the thick wall.

“Sure?” I answer him with a question. He chuckles at that.

“Don’t worry, it’s not that boring. In fact, it’s about the person whom you reminded me of.” Wilhelm explains.

“Hoh?” I made a noise of interest, this was something I was curious about.

“This is a story about the first time we met. It was a long time ago, back when I was fighting in the Demi-Human War. I had only been in camp for about a month or so, I had a duty to fulfill, so I spent most of my time practicing, which led to me becoming…a loner.” A slight sigh leaks out of him at the admittance.

“Haha, join the club, old man, back home I ended up cutting off all my friends for a stupid reason,” I tell him, wincing at the memory. He gives me a small look of sympathy before clearing his throat.

“The first time I met him was at the gambling tent. It wasn’t a place I usually went to, but it was unusually loud that night, and I was interrupted in the middle of my practice. I walked in there prepared to beat everyone up to make them be quiet, but even I got enraptured by the sight in front of me.” I turn my head slightly toward Wilhelm to show that he’s got my attention.

“It was a man with long black hair tied up in a ponytail sitting at the head of the table. He had a loose smile on his face as he pushed all his chips in. The others at the table were in different states; some were sweating, some were confident, and others were secretive. The crowd was going wild.” Wilhelm gets a nostalgic look on his face as he continues the story.

“I was curious as to what was happening, and a few of the others explained that this guy had been winning all week, he had been going all-in on the first hand every night, and then immediately leaving with his earnings. The group around the table was now upset by that and wanted to get their money back.” Wilhelm explains.

“So what happened next?” I ask him.

“This time, they wanted to call his bluff. Everybody went all-in, and they revealed their hands. The guy beat them all with a straight flush, he collected his money with a grin on his face before walking out. When he left, I caught his eye, for you see, I was the only one who noticed the cards up his sleeve. He winked at me before leaving, and I left quickly after that.” Wilhelm says, shaking his head in disappointment.

“He started bugging me during my practice after that, kept asking me random questions, and trying to get me to spar with him. Eventually, I gave in, and we got to be good friends. To this day, I never told him I was the one who snitched on his sleeve tactic.” Wilhelm chuckles.

“No way! Weren't you guys friends?” I questioned him.

“Yep, but seeing him strung up under a tree, occasionally getting whacked by someone, was worth it.” He laughs.

“He sounds like a fun person. Sorry about your loss.” I tell Wilhelm.

“It’s fine, he wasn’t the best person in the world, he would often steal money off of corpses and cheat in games, but he had a certain…way about him, that drew people in.” By the time Wilhelm is done talking, we’ve cut out a decent chunk.

Suddenly, I can hear slicing noises from the other side. Wilhelm and I look at each other in surprise, then we start cutting through even faster. Eventually, there’s only a thin layer separating us from the outside, the White Whale flips, and we’re left clinging onto the edges as we pull ourselves up and into the outside world.

“Freedom!” I shout, spilling out of the whale and onto the ground, landing on my feet but stumbling at the last second and sprawling out on the ground.

“Are you two alright?!” Someone shouts, and I turn to see Subaru kneeling down next to me.

“Yup, just peachy,” I tell him, and then I remember all the blood and saliva covering my body, and I twist around to throw up.

“Ugh.” Subaru backs up in disgust.

“I’m fine, just a little exhausted,” Wilhelm replies. He’s already standing again.

“Good, because I think I figured out the problem.” Subaru smirks.

“What problem?” I ask, and then I see it. Including the whale we just exited from, there were two more flying in the air.

“Oh for fucks sake!” I curse. Subaru pulls me to my feet, and I follow him back to where Crusch and the others are waiting.

“Did you figure something out?” Crusch asks, turning to Subaru as he hops on his ground dragon with Rem. The one Wilhelm and I had been riding joins us. I have no idea where my original one went, so I just hop on the back of Wilhelm’s.

“Yeah, I think the one flying highest in the sky is the original body, the others are just copies. They’re weaker, plus, they don’t have their eye gouged out.” Subaru explains.

“But still, killing three White Whales is no easy task.” Crusch hums in displeasure as she glances up.

“We don’t need to kill three, just one, the original has just been making its buddies fight while it stays up there and stays away from the danger,” Subaru responds with a smirk.

“I could maybe use my sword to hit it from down here…but I doubt it would do enough damage to kill it.” Crusch frowns.

“Heh, I have a plan, though it might be crazy dangerous and not even work. You want in?” He asks, glancing around at all of us.

“I mean…do we have any other choice, I say fuck it,” I respond, shrugging my shoulders. Subaru smirks and tells us his plan, and damn if it isn’t a crazy plan. But in this kind of situation, we have to use anything we can.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this.” I sigh, I’m on a new ground dragon next to Crusch. Wilhelm is on my other side. Crusch is inspiring the troops as we face down the White Whale, or well, the two doubles. Our job is to distract the doubles while Subaru grabs the original's attention.

“Haha, that boy is nothing if not bold.” Crusch smiles.

“Indeed.” Wilhelm agrees. Crusch charges up her sword and blocks a fog attack that almost blows her back, if it weren’t for Wilhelm and I’s hands supporting her shoulders.

“Well, if we’re going to do it, let’s do it!” I shout, rushing forward on my ground dragon and throwing out my daggers as I pass them by. The fighting continues as anxiety wells in my gut, thinking about what Subaru is doing makes me want to throw up again, but I have to keep it together.

I eventually hear a roar and manage to just see through the fog as the original White Whale passes by us and around the back of the giant tree. I continue slicing at the doubles and dodging their attack until the signal is shouted.

“Fire!” I hear, and the cannons are turned on, all facing toward…the tree. They light up against the fog and strike, the tree creaking as it falls…directly on the White Whale. A shockwave goes up around us as the tree lands.

“Yes!” I cheer as the doubles get blown back along with the fog, the light of the morning breaking through the night, as I get a clear look at the White Whale under the tree. I quickly steer my ground dragon over in time to watch Wilhelm furiously strike at it over and over again. I can only watch in awe as he makes one final attack, and the White Whale collapses…forever.

“Finally, it’s over.” A fear tears leak out of me as I sink off the ground dragon and onto the ground, exhaustion clawing at my bones as everybody cheers around me. And even if we still have more to do, I can’t help but feel the enormous success of what we have accomplished.

Chapter Text

I’m still lying on the ground in exhaustion when Subaru leans over me, his face twisted with a grin as he stares down at me.

“What do you want?” I ask him grumpily, my exhaustion taking a toll on my cheery attitude.

“Geez, do I have to send you with Crusch as well? Rem got injured in the fight, and they’re all heading back to Crusch’s mansion with the other injured.” Subaru teases.

“I’m fine, I’m fine!” I quickly shout, springing up into a sitting position, forgetting that Subaru was above me until our heads clack together painfully.

“Ouch! Are you kidding me?! We barely got injured in the fight with the White Whale, yet the first chance you get, you’re knocking our heads together.” He gripes.

“Sorry, your face is just so plain that I could forget it was there,” I reply, sticking out my tongue.

“I’ll have you know my face is not plain, my eyes are mean enough to be a point of reference.” He states, glaring at me.

“Whatever, do I get to say goodbye to Rem before she leaves?” I ask, standing up with Subaru’s help. I roll my shoulders a bit to try and stretch out the muscles. They’re feeling a little sore, but nothing too bad.

“Yeah, c’mon.” Subaru leads me to the wagon with all the injured. I manage to wave goodbye to Rem, Mimi’s brother, Hetaro, and Crusch as they take off in the wagon. Glancing around, I notice that we have about half of our forces left to take care of the Witch Cult.

“Are you two really alright? You did a lot of work in that battle.” Ricardo says, approaching Subaru and me.

“Yeah, yeah, just a bit exhausted, but nothing I can’t handle,” I tell him, waving him off.

“I barely broke a sweat, Rem did most of the work.” Subaru grins.

“What about you two?” I ask Ricardo and the approaching Mimi.

“I’m fine! I’m full of energy, ready for the next round!” Mimi exclaims enthusiastically, punching out her fists in excitement.

“Same here. Besides, my lady asked me to do a favor, so you should be able to see what I can really do in the real battle comin’ up.” Ricardo chuckles.

“Hm?” I tilt my head at Ricardo’s words. Obviously, he’s talking about the Witch Cult, but I don’t remember mentioning that part to them. Though this is Anastasia we’re talking about, why she would be helping us leaves me slightly worried, though.

“Ah, here’s the help.” Ricardo looks past us, and we turn around to find some more people approaching, wearing the same coat as the rest of Anastasia’s team.

“Hn, were they blocking the road or something?” Subaru questions Ricardo.

“Yup! That’s about half of our team.” Ricardo states proudly.

“Hoh? And who’s leading them?” I ask Ricardo, but it’s Mimi who answers.

“My younger brother, Tivey!” She shouts.

“Eh? You have another younger sibling? I wonder which one he’s like…” Subaru trails off, squinting to look at the approaching group, when he suddenly freezes. I turn to catch who he’s staring at and spot a head of purple hair as Julius rides up on a ground dragon.

“No need to freeze like that, didn’t you two make up?” I elbow Subaru.

“Oh, right, it’s been so long I honestly thought it was in a failed…” He trails off again, a pained look on his face. I place a hand on his shoulder in sympathy.

“Hey, Julius! Good to see you again!” I wave at the man as he stops before us.

“Nice of you to finally join us,” Felix smirks, elbowing him as he walks up.

“It is good to be here, but I am not Julius at the moment. How about you call me…Juli. Even though it is temporary, a man with the status of a knight really shouldn’t lower himself to a mercenary.” Julius smiles as he greets us.

“Do you have to go this far? I mean…if you were, shouldn’t you have disguised, y’know…” Subaru waves his hand around his face for emphasis.

“I think the name should be sufficient, after all, it’s not a strict guideline. Besides, I doubt anybody here would use this information against me.” Julius says.

“I guess, still, it sucks that you have to do all this.” I shrug.

“Yep, Juli holds tight to his code of honor.” Felix smiles.

“It’s good to see you’ve been well since our last visit,” Julius states, looking at Subaru and I.

“Yeah…I guess you could say that.” I reply awkwardly, my gaze shifting.

“We’ve just been through a lot these past few weeks, that’s all.” Subaru sighs.

“Yes, sorry about that.” Julius apologizes.

“Again, not your fault, I was being a dumbass.” Subaru chuckles, Julius laughing along with him. After everything gets settled, we sit everyone down in a big circle and start the discussion of our plans.

“Right, all of you were a big help in taking down the White Whale, but there’s something else that must be done before we can be completely done, namely, taking down the member of the Witch Cult that will be appearing,” Subaru reveals the purpose of the discussion.

“Uhm…are you sure? If it’s merely speculation…well, we were brought here to act as reinforcements for the battle of the White Whale- Ow!” Tivey gets cut off by a hit from his sister.

“Do you seriously not believe them? Well, even if you don’t believe them, believe me, and I believe in them!” Mimi scolds.

“Haha, it would be nice if you believed us, though. The Witch Cult is no joke, we ran into them before.” I say bitterly, my mouth twisting with displeasure at the memories.

“Yep, they’re the worst kind of people,” Subaru states, gritting his teeth.

“Hmm, didn’t you look into it, Wil?” Felix turns to look at Wilhelm.

“Indeed, there wasn’t much conclusive evidence, but it did strongly suggest that the appearance of the Whale and the activities of the Witch Cult could be linked,” Wilhelm responds.

“Well, that means our words are as good as true,” I smirk.

“Does it?” Felix deadpans.

“Yes, now shut up and listen,” I say, putting a finger to my lips and shushing him as he laughs.

“The Witch Cult is hiding in the forest of the Mather’s domain, so all we have to do is go in there and crush them before they even know what’s happening!” Subaru states, planting a fist in his hand.

“Isn’t there a village around there? How are we able to keep them safe?” Someone in the crowd asks.

“Easy, I had Anastasia and Russell talk to the merchants along the highway. If they agreed to the deal, then the villagers should have enough transportation,” Subaru explains.

“And knowing those two, there’s no way they failed,” I add, and a majority of the crowd nods their heads in understanding.

“Also, we wrote a letter and sent it ahead of time so Emilia will know that we’re arriving, otherwise, it would be chaos,” Subaru reveals.

“Right then, looks like we’re ready to go.” Ricardo chuckles.

“Yup, and with the extra help from Juliu-ahem, Juli, and the other team from Anastasia, we should have no problem.” Subaru smirks.

“We know the battle with the White Whale was hard, some people died, and others vanished…” I trail off, the memory of Rem disappearing flashes through my mind.

“We don’t want any more suffering, so let’s all do our best and make it home alive!” Subaru finishes for me. A resounding cheer echoes through the crowd, and soon, we’re getting ready to take off.

“We’re going at a slow pace, do you want to ride with me?” Subaru asks atop his ground dragon. I stare at the thing and it stares back, in fact, I think it's glaring at me. Hah, I’m not letting a damn ground dragon scare me off.

“Yeah, why not, just make sure I don’t fall off,” I tell him, grabbing his hand and jumping on. I wrap my arms around his waist and lean all my body weight on his back.

“Oi! Shove off, I can’t do much with you leaning on me like that.” Subaru whines.

“Too bad, you’re just going to have to accept all my love.” I tease, messing up his hair. With that, we take off, the pace is indeed slow, but I’m struggling to hold on as I bounce here and there. Maybe I should’ve just gone on my own…but the thought of riding another ground dragon by myself was not very appealing, I’d rather sit back and let someone else do the work. As we ride along, Julius eventually pulls up beside us, looking like he wants to talk.

“Ahem, I really have to thank you two, you put an end to a calamity that every nation has ignored for way too long. So, thank you.” Julius says sincerely, looking right at Subaru, who seems a bit taken aback.

“You…don’t have to thank me, I really didn’t do much, and I’m grateful to you as well. I know we apologized before, but still, after everything I did…I’m grateful you still came out here to back us up.” Subaru tells him. And suddenly…I feel like I’m being ignored. A strange atmosphere forms even though I’m sitting right here…the fuck?

“So, how’s everything going for you? Being a fancy pants knight must have its issues, right…Juli?” Subaru drags out the fake name in a teasing manner, but Julius only smirks.

“I assure you, being a knight is no issue to me; if I were to name any struggle, it is that I cannot go out in public without having one or two admirers.” Julius brags, he’s just doing it to tease Subaru, and evidently, it works.

“Ah, seriously? Handsome men seriously have it all, it’s so not fair. If I had a face like yours, I’d make sure to use it to my advantage.” Subaru threatens.

“Hm? You think I’m handsome?” Julius smirks. Subaru’s entire neck and ears turn completely red, I’m sure if I leaned in more, I could hear his heart beating a mile a minute…that was too smooth, even I got flabbergasted.

“Okay, okay, you two, I get it, you're flirting, could you at least do it while I’m not here?” I interrupt.

“We’re not flirting!” Subaru shouts, but Julius turns away, his cheeks dusted a faint pink. No fucking way, are you kidding me? This has to be the greatest day of my life, I’m going to tease them so much afterwards.

“Ugh, you’re seriously not funny, you know.” Subaru scolds me as Julius moves away.

“I’m just calling it like I see it,” I say, shrugging and sticking out my tongue.

“If we want to talk about calling things, what about you and Rein-” I cut him off by encircling my hands around his head and blocking his mouth.

“I’m not in the mood to get teased about that right now…besides, I’m sure I have more guts than you, let’s make a bet. If I ask out Reinhard first, then you do whatever I want, but if you ask Julius out first, then I’ll do whatever you want.” I grin, removing my hands after the fact.

“Hah? I’m not asking him out on a date, I don’t like him like that!” Subaru insists.

“Really? Your loss then…” I shrug.

“Ah, huh? Uhm…wait!” He eventually caves after a minute of deliberation.

“So you’ll take the bet?” I question.

“Yes, but next time has to be the next time we meet, not the next time we talk.” Subaru agrees.

“Deal.” I laugh. A few minutes pass in silence before Subaru speaks again, this time about a more serious subject.

“...How do you really know you like someone, though? What if all my feelings are just fake, like how they were for Emilia? Just a mix of different things, I mean, it isn’t even that long since I figured out that I didn’t like her like that.”

“Well, I don’t believe there’s too much reason. It’s kind of like…you always want to be around them, you’re always thinking about them. When they get close to you, you can’t really function right. And even if you don’t love them at first, attraction can always lead to something more. I think it just depends on if you see yourself dating that person, spending time with them on mundane shit.” I try to explain my feelings, I don’t know if they got through, but I feel Subaru relax a bit.

“That helps a bit, thanks. Ugh, sorry I’m such a mess all the time.” He apologizes.

“No worries, it’s cool. Not like I have any relationship experience either, I just read a shit ton of romance books back in the day.” I chuckle. The rest of the ride is spent talking about random things from back home, and it’s nice, comforting, to be able to talk about that stuff with someone.

Chapter Text

The plan is overall pretty simple, Subaru will distract Petelgeuse while a few of us follow behind and take him down in a surprise attack. I felt a bit wary, after all, Subaru would be facing that creep down alone, but he promised he could handle it. So I had no choice but to believe him and let him do his thing.

“Ugh, I’m still worried though,” I whine, following him through the woods from a distance. He’s with a few of the Witch Cult members, confidently walking beside them as they bring him toward Petelgeuse, I assume.

“Have faith in young Subaru, I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Wilhelm chuckles.

“Hey! I know he’ll be fine, but it doesn’t stop me from being worried. Doesn’t he look like someone who should be protected and coddled?” I say, pointing ahead at Subaru.

“Are you sure? That mister has really scary eyes.” Tivey shudders.

“Hahaha, you got that right.” Mimi laughs.

“I’ll make sure to tell him you said that.” I deadpan and watch as the siblings scramble to take back their words.

“Ahem, I believe we should be paying attention now.” Wilhelm suddenly holds up his hand, telling us to be quiet as we approach a cave opening. I can see Subaru talking to Petelgeuse in the distance, a shudder runs through my body as I lay eyes on the man, I can still remember the feeling of twisting…nope, not going to think about that.

We watch, and we wait until just the right moment when Petelgeus is distracted, and then…we strike. Mimi and Tivey run ahead first, using their joint attack to destroy the cave and the cultists who were inside completely. While they do that, Wilhelm and I run around behind the top of the cave. We wait until Subaru gives the signal, and then…we jump.

It’s still slightly surreal to feel the energy flood my body, giving me strength I didn’t even know I had…though something about it is slightly…familiar. I shake my head to get rid of the confusing thoughts as I grab out my daggers and slice. My daggers and Wilhelm’s swords cutting through his body like butter. I would be lying if I said it wasn’t satisfying.

It hurts to think that I’m so used to human cruelty already, but at the same time, do I really have to care? Nobody in this world seems to bat an eye at this sort of thing; it’s normal, in fact. Still doesn’t help the weird feeling that arises every time I kill someone. Like my values are at war…whatever. It’s…strange to see Petelguese dead, it doesn’t feel real. But there he is, sliced completely in half. We even bring Felix over, just to double-check.

“Hey, you alright?” I ask Subaru, giving him a quick glance over.

“Yep, you?” He shoots back.

“Mhm, nothing wrong here,” I say, flourishing my hands over my body. We quickly focused back on Petelgeuse after that. I busied myself haphazardly cleaning my daggers while Wilhelm meticulously cleaned his, and Subaru checked in with Felix. That’s when something catches my eye.

“Hey! Are you two looting his corpse?! Why didn’t you let a guy know he could have money on him?” I run over to the body, all guilt-ridden thoughts flee my mind at the thought of looting the corpse. I mean, why should I feel guilty? He was a bad person; he twisted my arm before, and besides…loot.

“Are you seriously joining them in looting the body?” Subaru questions, looking disappointed.

“Yes, why the fuck would I not? I killed the guy, I get dibs on his loot…unless Wilhelm wants some.” At my words, everyone turns to Wilhelm, the man glances at us in surprise before laughing.

“Go ahead.” He chuckles.

“Sweet!” I cheer, rifling through the blood-splattered clothes. Eventually, my hand brushes up against something, and I pull out a black book.

“Eh? The fuck is this?” I question, flipping it open and rifling through the pages.

“Oh, that’s the book Petelgues called the Gospel,” Subaru informs. Immediately, everyone turns pale.

“What, what’s wrong? It’s useless anyway, I can’t read a damn thing.” I scoff, squinting at the text.

“That item is what the Witch Cult uses as their sacred text; it’s an identifier within the cult,” Wilhelm explains.

“Yep! Anyone with potential gets delivered one, and then, bam, they’re part of the cult.” Felix states.

“Heeeh? Creepy, well, might as well keep it, could be useful.” I say, pocketing the book. The others give me a weird look, but they don’t say anything about it.

“Well, well, now that we’re done here, how about we go kill the other enemies!” Mimi exclaims, a bit of excitement in her voice.

“How can you say such scary things with such an adorable face?” Subaru sighs.

“Haha, so you admit I’m adorable!” She squeals.

“I think that’s the wrong thing to focus on, but yes, you are adorable,” I tell the younger girl, ruffling her hair.

“So, the people Petelgeuse called his ‘fingers’ are still around, and they number ten in total.” Wilhelm muses, recalling the earlier conversation we heard between Subaru and Petelgeuse.

“Mhm! One got pinned under there…” “So there are nine left!” Tivey starts and Mimi finishes, a proud look on her face.

“Right, then let’s go after them. I want this entire ordeal to be over.” I mutter with exhaustion. Though I tried not to show it, my muscles were in a lot of pain after using that ability. If I keep using it, there’s a good chance I won’t be able to move for a few days.

We walk off, abandoning the body, and I still feel a slight sense of trepidation, like not everything is over. Subaru feels it too, as he keeps glancing back at the body until Mimi blows it up, scattering pieces of flesh over the area. We soon meet up with Julius and Ricardo, who report their success, having managed to kill two of the ‘fingers’.

“I’m sure everything went well on your end as well?” Julius questions.

“Yup! Petelgeuse is dead,” Subaru confirms with a grin.

“I even managed to steal his book.” I move to grab the Gospel, but Subaru grabs my hand before I can do that, leveling me with a glare.

“Right, then let’s just clean up the rest of these guys.” One of the demi-humans on Julius’s team says.

“We should get this done quickly. Don’t want my lady turnin’ old before we’re done.” Ricardo laughs.

“Hah, I don’t suppose we can stay good friends after all this is over.” Subaru sighs as the others pair off, moving away from us.

“Thinking of the future already? We haven’t even gotten through this yet.” Julius chuckles, scaring Subaru slightly, as he jumps when Julius approaches from the left.

“What? You can’t blame me for being a chronic overthinker, if I don’t start thinking of future plans before our current one is done, I would’ve died a lot sooner than this.” Subaru defends.

“Even if we don’t look it, we’re super high-strung right now,” I tell Julius. I can feel my muscles coil tight beneath my skin, my senses running high. It’s a deep paranoia, something that we’ll probably never get rid of after our many experiences with death. In fact, I can almost feel something…

“Get down!” Subaru and I shout at the same time. I duck quickly, moving my neck to look in the direction I got the feeling. I can’t see anything, but watch in horror as five people get picked up, lifted into the sky, only to get twisted and squeezed, blood raining down on us from above.

“What is it? What’s happenin’!?” Ricardo shouts. I rise to my feet and glance around. Subaru is frowning to my side. The only person I remember having an ability like this…is Petelgeuse.

“Shit, how-?” I’m cut off before I can finish my thought by Subaru falling to the ground beside me, a strangled shout coming out of his mouth as he gets dragged off.

“Woah, woah!” I shout, quickly running after him. A few Witch Cultists try to get in my way, but I slice through them before too many can gather, breaking through their formation just as they block the others.

I follow the shouts through the woods, arriving in a sudden clearing with a small pond. I see Subaru upside down on a tree and struggling. I see a woman standing next to him wearing a Witch Cultist’s robe. Before I even think, I grab out one of my daggers and toss it out. I feel the strength ripple through my arm muscles; the force of the strike is more than necessary, but it’s satisfying to watch her head explode, the anger and fear leaving me as I rush over to Subaru.

“You okay?” I fret, grabbing him off the ground.

“...Yeah, that was weird though, she could use Petegeus’s ability, she acted kind of like him too.” Subaru muses.

“What even is that ability?” I question aloud.

“Huh?” Subaru looks at me in confusion.

“What do you mean huh? It’s a valid question, I mean, it kind of felt like being grabbed by something invisible…maybe he has invisible ropes or something?” I mutter.

“You…you can’t see it?” Subaru asks.

“No, wait, does this mean you can see it?” I question, grabbing his shoulders.

“Uhm, yeah? I thought you could as well, they’re hands, I’ve been calling them Unseen Hand. So wait, you haven’t been able to see them this entire time?” He looks completely taken aback, exactly how I feel.

“You know what, we can table this for later, I’m sure it’s not that important.” I sigh, glancing over him once more to check for any injuries before patting him on the hand and backing up as he looks at me in confusion. The others arrive soon after.

“What happened?” Felix asks, getting straight to the point.

“Uhm, well, she attacked me, and she could use the same ability as Petelgeuse. She also talked and acted like him, which is pretty worrying. There may be a chance she inherited his abilities or something.” Subaru explains, putting a hand to his chin in thought.

“That is worrying, we cannot confirm if she is the only one showing the same abilities either, everyone, keep your guard up,” Wilhelm states, the rest of us nod in confirmation as we head back to the meeting area from before. In the middle are the six dead bodies, all covered with a white cloth.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, I shouldn't have gotten you guys involved,” Subaru says guiltily, his eyes never leaving the bodies.

“It’s fine, we knew what we signed up for.” Julius comforts, but they’re empty words. I put a comforting arm around his shoulders.

“Hey, we can worry about all this when we’re safe. Worrying now won’t do anything, we stay alive and we try our best to help everyone who is still alive, you get me?” I ask, forcing him to look at my face.

“Yeah.” He hesitantly nods.

“Then let’s do this.” I grin, ruffling his hair.

“Hey!” He complains as I separate.

“You two ready?” Wilhelm asks. Subaru and I nod, and we walk over to the dragon carriages, where the merchants are here to help evacuate the mansion and the village. Subaru grabbed my hand and helped me onto his ground dragon. I still hated being on these things, not much I could do about it at the moment, though.

“You don’t look too comfortable there.” Of course, Felix comes to tease me as soon as he notices. I shoot him a withering glare as I cling to Subaru.

“I can’t help it, I’m about to fall off the damn thing. The wind is messing up my hair as well. It’s an overall horrible experience.” I complain.

“I would say I feel sympathetic, but that would be a lie, so instead, I’ll laugh at you.” Felix chuckles.

“Bastard.” I curse. Felix pulls away from us as he laughs, and Julius easily slides into place next to us.

“You could’ve ridden in one of the carriages, why didn’t you?” Julius questions.

“By the time I realized that, it was too late. Plus, I have my pride.” I sniff.

“You two make some interesting decisions because of that,” Julius smirks.

“Too soon, too soon,” Subaru grumbles.

“And you have your knightly chivalry, I don’t think it’s wrong to say they’re a bit similar. One day, you might find yourself in a tough situation because of it.” I tell Julius. He seems to ponder it for a moment, and then…everything freezes.

Literally, I almost get chucked off the ground dragon as Subaru suddenly stops in place. Every carriage and person beside me stops as well. I glance around in confusion before silently slipping off the ground dragon. I catch a figure in a white cloak out of the corner of my vision, who notices me looking, and quickly turns around, running away.

“Wait!” I shout, running after them. They’ve had a head start, but I push my ability through my legs, gaining a sudden burst of speed, enough to catch them and pin them to the ground.

“...Ram?” I question as the hood falls off, revealing pink hair.

“Krgh, what do you think you’re doing?!” She shouts, her face twisted in anger.

“Uhm? What? I should be asking you that! We’re trying to help you! Why are you attacking us?” I question, because it’s clear that Ram is the one doing this.

“Help? You’re leading armed forces from other camps through our domain. What is this if not a threat? I just can’t believe…you’d betray us like this.” Her eyes well up with…tears, I’m immediately taken aback.

“Wait, wait, wait, there’s clearly been some sort of misunderstanding. We sent a letter in ahead of time, didn’t you get it?” I ask her.

“You mean the blank letter, declaring war on us?” She deadpans.

“Huh? Blank? No, no, there was writing on it that explained what we were doing. Fuck, what happened? Did it get intercepted?” I mumble off ideas of what happened, but Ram is still looking at me doubtfully.

“Look, you have to believe me, the Witch Cult is going to attack. That’s why we're here, even if you can’t believe the others, believe me. Why would I do this to you?” I beg her, I see a flicker of hope run through her expression, and then she heaves a sigh.

“Fine, but if I find out you’re lying, I’ll rip you limb from limb. Now get off.” She threatens, and I quickly jump off her to avoid getting torn apart.

“Erik, what’s going on?” Subaru soon comes running over.

“Ah, it was Ram who made you guys freeze like that. We talked it over, though. Apparently, the letter they received is blank.” I explain quickly.

“Right, did you get things sorted out?” He questions.

“Yep.” I throw him a thumbs-up. Ram just sighs.

“Then we should get back, we have to evacuate the villagers.” Subaru urges us on. I turn to follow Subaru when Ram suddenly punches my shoulder out of nowhere.

“Ow! What was that for?” I ask her.

“Hmph, I just have the feeling you insulted me when I wasn’t around.” She huffs, and I’m left staring after her in confusion as she heads back to join the others. I hurried to catch up, rubbing my shoulder painfully. Hopefully, everything will be fine after we evacuate the villagers…but still, the bad feeling in the back of my mind persists.

Chapter Text

Everyone quickly puts the event of before aside as we hurriedly make our way to the village. There are a few weird things about what happened that I need to think about…but that can wait till later. Currently, we have to convince the anxious villagers that they should evacuate, hooray.

“Sometimes, I wish people would just do what we ask the first time,” I grumble.

“It’s not their fault, they’re scared of being around all these unfamiliar and heavily armed faces.” Julius defends.

“Well, I know that! It doesn’t mean it isn’t a hassle.” I pout.

“Everyone! I know it’s been a bit since I last saw you all, but the mabeasts in the forest are acting up a bit, so I brought some exterminators, but it’d be best for everyone if you all evacuated the village while the extermination is happening, if you catch my drift.” Subaru is talking to the crowd, a bit of false cheer in his voice to try and hide his unease.

“Don’t try to lie!” A voice from the crowd cries out, startling Subaru. I only sigh, it makes sense someone would guess about what’s going on.

“You sound cheerful about this…but the villagers are scared! We’ve known the Witch Cult would try something, it’s just been a matter of when.” One of the villagers says bitterly.

“Huh? The Witch’s Cult? I wasn’t told about this!” A worried voice chimes in. The crowd quickly grows unruly and starts anxiously chattering while throwing insults at Subaru, who grows increasingly more frustrated. Some even take jabs at Emilia and Roswaal.

“Oi! All of you! Shut the hell up!” I step forward and shout. The villagers' chatter cuts off immediately, with a few looking startled, while others are angry.

“Look, I get you’re scared, but do you think you guys are the only ones? My friend here was trying to explain the situation in an easy manner, and I get it, maybe you don’t want to be talked down to. But does that give you any right to insult him or the people who rule this domain? No! So come back and talk when you have an actual complaint, for now though, you can shut up and listen!” I give the crowd my best glare before stepping back with a huff. Subaru sends me a grateful look.

“Nice job, if he started looking any more pathetic, I would’ve slapped him.” Felix chuckles, holding up his right hand.

“Seriously?” I deadpan, giving him a hard stare.

“We can all admit he wasn’t doing well.” Felix shrugs.

“I guess, but I don’t condone you slapping my best friend, considering I’d get hurt as well,” I say sharply.

“Ooooh, right, forgot about that…haha.” He’s definitely lying, though, it’s easy enough to tell with that cheeky grin he hasn’t wiped off his face.

“Alright! I hear your concerns and your fears, and you’re right, the Witch Cult is going to attack. I won’t try to sugarcoat it for you guys, and that’s why I’m asking you to evacuate. If you’re still here when the Witch Cult arrives, you all could die, so for your sakes, I hope you’ll follow our directions and evacuate.” Subaru addresses the crowd once more.

A few of them still look uneasy, wavering on whether they should follow along without complaint or not, until Ram steps up, looking out over the crowd with her blank face.

“The words of my household’s employees are the words of my master, Lord Roswaal, himself. Follow their instructions immediately.” She states. With that, the villagers begin moving, heading toward their houses to collect supplies with the help of the mercenaries and knights under Crusch.

“Nice job Ram!” I lift my hand up for a high five, which she immediately ignores.

“Ouch.” Subaru jokes.

“Hmph, you can laugh, but I saved you from getting slapped by Felix earlier.” I tease.

“Wait, really!? He was going to slap me?” He questions.

“Mhm, I saved you from a world of pain,” I say dramatically.

“My, you shouldn’t have, I don’t deserve it.” Subaru puts a hand on his forehead and fakes swooning.

“Ergh, this dramatic display is nothing short of disgusting.” Ram fake gags as she looks at us.

“Aw, don’t be like that, Ram, we know you love us.” I slide in on her left, sticking an arm around her shoulder.

“Yeah, you can’t let us have a little bit of fun?” Subaru slides in on her right. I don’t feel the danger until it hits me in the head, literally, with Ram quickly punching both of us on the head.

“Ow!” Subaru and I both crouch down and hold our aching heads in pain.

“Uhm? Subaru?” A small voice suddenly calls out, I glance over to see one of the children from the village pulling on the edge of his shirt. I think her name was…Petra? Yeah, Petra, she had a worried look in her eyes as she pulled on his shirt.

“What is it?” Subaru quickly asks.

“Well, I was wondering if the lady from the mansion was going to come. She came to the village yesterday, saying the same thing as you…but everybody ignored her.” Petra glances down at the ground guiltily.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to worry about her. And I’m sure she’s not mad at you.” Subaru comforts, patting her head. The girl soon brightens up and runs back to her mother and the rest of the villagers.

“You really do get along with kids, I always get so awkward around them. My thoughts swing wildly between wanting to kick them and pat their heads, guess it really depends on the kid.” I muse, ignoring the shocked look of Subaru next to me.

“Did you just admit to wanting to punt a kid?” He questions.

“I can’t help it! Sometimes they’re so annoying and loud, and they’re rubbing their snot everywhere and ugghhh, even thinking about it has me grossed out.” I make a gagging motion as Subaru shakes his head in disbelief and laughs.

“Anyway, I’m guessing it was Emilia who did that? How did things go afterward?” I ask, turning to Ram.

“She wasn’t able to convince them to take shelter in the mansion with her, so she fixed the barrier as she was worried about a mabeast attack.” Ram reveals.

“Right, I think I should go explain things to her then, I think I’m going to bring Julius with me, I have something I need to talk to him about.” Subaru fully stands up, waving to us as he starts to leave.

“Good luck!” I shout for encouragement, standing up next to Ram and waving my arms in the air.

“You two are embarrassing to be around.” Ram sighs.

“Nothing is embarrassing if you forgo shame,” I mutter, slipping an arm around her shoulder again.

“Do you want me to hit you again?” She threatens.

“C’mon, didn’t you say we were friends?” I look pleadingly in her eyes until she sighs and shrugs her shoulders.

“Haha, I knew you’d come around.” I chuckle teasingly, the look in her eye makes me quickly back off with my hands raised in surrender. Looking at Ram like this, an odd thought strikes me, I would’ve thought she’d have asked about Rem by now. Maybe she already asked Subaru about her? I make a move to ask her, just in case, but before I can, an explosion rocks the world, sending a blast of warm air and debris toward Ram and me.

A pain rushes through my head, I can feel some burns appear on my arms as well. I almost went unconscious, but luckily, I managed to pull through. I shake my head a bit to try to clear the pain and fogginess. Subaru must’ve gotten caught in the explosion. I quickly circle energy through my body, hoping it will stop the pain just a little.

“What was that?!” I exclaim, looking at where the blast came from. Smoke starts to cover the sky as the sound of fighting gradually reaches where we’re standing. Ram gives me a look of concern, but I pull myself up and wave her off to show that I’m fine.

“Let’s go, we can’t waste any more time,” Ram states, rushing toward the fighting. I quickly nod and follow along beside her. I spot a Witch Cult member in front of me and throw a dagger, quickly cutting off their head. I notice Ram gives me a look of surprise.

“Heh, I learned how to fight a bit better while I was gone, impressed?” I ask her. She just scoffs, and we continue on toward the center of the village, tearing through any Witch Cult members that get in our way.

“What’s the situation!?” I shout at Julius, he’s currently fighting off two members of the Witch Cult. I spot Felix, currently healing Subaru; he’s conscious, but in a bit of pain. I’m suddenly glad for the energy circling through my body,

“We missed one of the Witch Cult members, they snuck in with the merchants. They were hiding stuff in the carriages.” Felix explains.

“We’ve managed to get most of them, but Wilhelm is fighting off a finger right now,” Julius adds, swiftly killing his opponent and taking in a breath of air.

“What do you want us to do?” Ram asks, straight to the point.

“You, go with Tivey and bring the injured to the mansion. You can stay here and get your injuries treated by Felix, sorry to say, but you look dead on your feet.” Julius points to Ram first, and then to me. I probably do, I can feel blood trailing down my face, and the burns over my body are starting to rub against my clothes.

“Right.” We both nod, with Ram quickly grabbing injured people as I head over to where Felix is wearing what seems to be some sort of rag as he heals Subaru.

“What were you doing getting caught in an explosion blast?” I question, quickly letting go of the energy as I sit down heavily, feeling a slight twinge in my muscles as I do.

“Not like I could help it.” He mumbles.

“Alright, all done. Do you want me to heal everything or just roughly get everything?” Felix asks me as he turns away from Subaru.

“Just roughly get everything, you should save some energy to heal other people.” Felix nods and hurriedly gets to work, a blue light emanating off of his hands as I feel the wounds across my body get slightly healed.

When Felix is all done, we stand up, and Felix wordlessly rushes off to go help the injured. Julius turns to us with a nod, and we race off to where Wilhelm is currently fighting a Finger. We’re able to easily locate the fight due to houses getting destroyed by seemingly nothing.

As we run there, the smoke curls around us, with a few embers falling through the air. Most of the fire is already out…but the dead bodies littering the road tell a grim story. I gnash my teeth together as I stare out at the chaos. When we make it to Wilhelm, he’s on the ground, with a nasty-looking wound in his side.

“Wilhelm!” Subaru shouts, approaching his side.

“Are you alright?” Julius asks. Dead bodies of the Witch Cultists are sprawled on the ground around him.

“I’m…ahem, fine.” Wilhelm coughs a bit as he says it, making everyone wince.

“Why, why, why, why, why, why, why! Why won’t you all die already!” A deranged voice whines. We all turn to find a woman standing there in a Witch Cultist uniform, gnawing on her fingernail until it breaks off, blood welling up.

“That's-!” Before Subaru can finish his sentence, she waves her hands in the air, and a dozen more Witch Cultists pop up.

“Are you kidding?” I exclaim in annoyance.

“I have a plan, can you guys take care of things here while I lead her away?” Subaru whispers. Julius and I turn to him, subtly nodding our heads.

“Hey, is this what you were looking for?!” Subaru calls out to the woman, reaching into my coat and grabbing out the Gospel I was keeping in there for later. I almost grabbed it out of his hands if it weren’t for the stern look he gave me as he did it.

“That! I knew you stole it! Give it back!” She screams, and debris is flung everywhere, presumably from the invisible hands she was using.

“If you want it, then come and get it!” Subaru shouts, running away into the forest behind him. The woman makes a guttural noise of annoyance before rushing after him, leaving Julius and me with the rest of the Witch Cultists.

“Well, guess we gotta take care of this.” I sigh, reaching for my daggers and letting the energy circle.

“Indeed.” Julius nods. There are about twelve of them. I decide to go for the ones on the right, throwing out my dagger and quickly bringing it back to me with the connected string. I rush forward and slice through another two before they have the chance to do anything. Out of the corner of my eye, I can spot Julius doing the same.

Two of them rush at me while another prepares a spell in the back. I simply flip over them and send my dagger swinging through the one preparing magic, before using the string to swing the dagger through the other two and bringing it back into my hand.

“Phew.” I let out a relieved breath as my muscles started to ache. And by ache, I mean ache. I hurriedly drop the energy circling through my arms as they start to twitch in pain.

“Shit.” I curse. Apparently, the drawbacks have decided to make themselves known. I can also feel a few rough scrapes appear on my arms and legs, but it’s nothing as bad as my muscles. It feels like the most intense muscle soreness and cramp all rolled into one. Luckily, it was mostly on my arms; the rest of my body was fine, as I didn’t use it as much there.

“You alright?” Julius asks.

“Yeah, yeah, I think I just used whatever this ability is called a bit too much,” I tell him, letting out a frustrated sigh. Wilhelm is still safe where we left him, leaning against a house.

“What ability?” Julius questions curiously.

“Ah, Wilhelm explains it better than I do, it’s where you, like, use the mana in your body to strengthen yourself, I think.” I try to explain, using vague gestures that don’t really help.

“I see, you are talking about the Flow Method? How long have you been training with it?” Julius asks.

“Uhm? Like a week, I don’t know, I only used it a few times,” I respond, only to promptly flinch back at the shocked noise Julius makes.

“Ahem, forgive me, it is just that the Flow Method is usually very hard to apply in combat without years of training. Only a certain few can use it without any training.” He explains.

“Ah, really? It just felt really instinctive, I don’t know what I’m doing with it either.” I reply, frowning a bit.

“Hm…well, you should be careful using it, the Flow Method can have drawbacks if one is not used to it,” Julius warns.

“No offense, but I don’t think I need to be told that.” I chuckle, holding up my shaking and now-useless arms.

“Ah, it appears so.” He laughs in response. It’s not ideal, in this situation, not to be able to fight. But I don’t see any other Witch Cultists in our area, and I have Julius here to protect me, so I’m sure it’ll turn out alright. A short while later, I can hear the sound of a fight and see a house collapsing; this time, it’s followed by a pillar of ice.

“I think I’m going to go check that out,” I tell Julius.

“You sure?” He asks.

“Yeah, I think I’ll be fine,” I respond, before taking off in that direction. As I run, the smoke gradually clears out and the sun starts to set, casting the sky in a pretty orange glow as I move through debris and bodies. When I reach the area, I can see Subaru standing next to Felix, and in the middle, Emilia is standing before a man who is completely encased in ice.

“Wow, nice job.” I whistle, she turns, surprised, before giving me a shy smile.

“We’ve eliminated all the Fingers; victory is ours,” Julius says, coming up from behind me.

“Ah, why’d you ask if I was going if you were going to follow?” I criticize him as he shrugs his shoulders with a smirk.

“Finally…it’s over.” I look to my side and see Subaru breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Yeah…” I echo, walking over to bump his shoulder.

“You should go talk to her.” Felix encourages, inclining his head toward Emilia.

“Yeah…yeah, I should.” He chokes out, taking a wary step forward…and then pausing, his shoulders shaking. Normally, I’d just think he was scared to talk to Emilia again. But for some reason, when he stops, my blood runs cold. It’s only a second of hesitation before he’s running in the opposite direction, toward the forest.

“Subaru!” I cry out, quickly rushing after him. I follow him until he trips over a log, Felix and Julius right behind me.

“Are you alright?” I approach, but hesitate, just before putting a hand on his shoulder.

“...You’re too late.” It’s his voice, but also…not. It makes me shiver and unconsciously back up a step.

“No, no, no, no, why does this shit always happen!” I cry out.

“What’s happening?” Felix asks.

“I had a feeling when Ia was flung out of his body…that’s not Subaru,” Julius states as he turns around, a manic smile on his face.

“Indeed! I am the Sin Archbishop of the Witch’s Cult representing Sloth, Petelgeuse Romanee-Conti!” At the end of his introduction, his neck twists awkwardly to the side before flying back into a regular position.

“Kahahaha, truly, truly! What a fantastic body this is, I haven’t had one that fit me this well in ages!” He cackles. My brain refuses to call that thing that is in Subaru by its proper name…but I can’t call him Subaru either.

“Krgh, get out of that body at once!” Julius demands, grabbing his sword and holding it in front of his body.

“Hah? You think something like that is going to work?” He questions, moving into the blade instead of away from it, blood runs down the side of my cheek.

“Hk! You madman!” Felix curses as Julius is forced to back his sword away.

“Mad? I suppose that is correct, I’m absolutely mad, mad with love that is! Any kind of love you can think of! Simply full of love, love, love, love, love, love, love!” His tone increases with each declaration. I feel sick.

“Subaru! Subaru! C’mon, fucking snap out of it! Remember what we came here to do! We fucking did it! We won, you can’t…this can’t be happening now! We were so close!” I yell at him, tears pricking my eyes and rolling down my face, and I make no effort to wipe them away.

“It’s no use, this body is already completely under my control!” He chuckles, spit rolling down the side of his mouth…but then, he pauses.

“What?” It’s softer than the things said before.

“Don’t what me, you bastard!” This voice is different, familiar, it’s-

“Subaru!” I shout, relief traveling through my entire body at the familiar voice. From there, the two get into a verbal and physical argument over whose body it is, before Subaru collapses before us.

“Please…kill me.” He begs. I stab of fear runs through my body. Again…we’re seriously going to do this again? Frustrated tears prick my eyes again. Why can’t anything go right? But…Subaru sounds so scared. I have no idea what’s going on in his head, but for it to be bad enough that he’s asking to get killed…

“I…I can’t.” Julius grimaces.

“Why is this happening?” Felix cries, tears spilling down his face.

“...You really…make me do the worst things…you’re so unfair,” I whisper, kneeling down next to him and cradling his body.

“M’ sorry.” He manages to apologize through teeth gritted in pain.

“But, Erik, you can’t! If you do that, then you as well…” Felix trails off, gnashing his teeth together.

“It’s fine, I’ve long since understood the consequences,” I tell him. It’s true, I’ve long come to terms with what death means to me. Not like I’ll ever like it or enjoy it…but it’s something I have experienced and will most likely continue to experience. Besides…it’s not like it’s his fault. The look of pain on his face and the encroaching headache I’m starting to feel are enough to tell me that.

“...Sorry guys, guess I’ll see you on the other end,” I say, not daring to turn back as I grab out a dagger. I don’t give myself or Subaru any time to think as I stab it directly into his heart. You’d think it would be over just like that, but no, death was never that easy.

It was certainly faster than other deaths, but there were still those grueling seconds of pain as I felt the blood choke up in my throat. My clothes were soaking through with blood as I lost consciousness and gradually felt my heart stop beating to the sounds of our crying friends.

Chapter Text

The fire was warm and flickered faintly as I stared at it. My companions were discussing something around me as I simply sat and watched. Taking time to stew in my own thoughts peacefully…until I felt an arm sling around me as someone sat down at my side.

“What’s up with the depressing attitude over here? Never known you to be that kind of person, eh?” The rough male voice grates my ears, and the smell of alcohol washes over my nose, leading me to lean away from the person who invaded my space.

“Ew, gross, can’t you give a guy a warning before you invade their space, Reid?” I whine, pushing my hands out to try and get the guy away from me. He just laughs and breathes in my face, making me kick out at him as I fall to the grass, trying to get away. Our companions soon notice the display and begin laughing at our antics.

“But seriously, what’s up? Did that shit in those ruins scare you that much? I don’t know what you saw, but if it was bad enough to make you like this…” He trails off as I make a gagging motion with my hand.

“Eurgh, if I’m acting weird, then what is this? I’ve never known you to be one for sympathy.” I tease.

“Hk! See, this is what happens when I try to be nice and do good things, and people wonder why I don’t try at all.” He huffs.

“Hahaha, you guys just can’t get along at all, can you?” Satella chuckles, a hand flying up to wipe some loose tears away.

“Though Reid is right, if something is bothering you about what happens in those ruins, you can tell us,” Flugel states, I glance at him from my spot lying on the grass. Everyone is looking at me with a worried expression, well, besides Reid and Echidna, but those two were never big on the whole ‘camaraderie’ thing.

“It’s nothing, guys, I swear. I’m just being stupid.” I sigh, straining my face and voice into the more upbeat version that I usually have. There was no way I could tell them what I saw in there, the things that I couldn’t do anything about, knowing them, they’d try to fix things, or study what I knew. On second thought, it now makes sense why I was the one who was told this stuff in the first place.

“We should go to bed, we’ve got a long day tomorrow,” Alec states, walking over to the fire and rudely pouring water on it, much to everyone else's complaints.

“The fuck?! What if some of us wanted to stay up longer?” Reid growls.

“Or what if we wanted to hear the lovely sounds of a crackling fire as we went to bed?” I chastised.

“You’re all stupid. If we leave the fire out, it could potentially set our surroundings on fire.” Alec scolds.

“But what if Echidna gets cold? You remember what happened last time.” Satella points out. We all shudder as we turn toward Echidna, who glances away guiltily.

“Did you guys forget that we have stuff to keep warm inside the tents?” Farsale states, taking Alec’s side.

“Uggggh, fine.” We all groan, sitting up and making our way to the tents like scolded children trying to stay up past their bedtimes. As I got ready for bed and closed my eyes, I couldn’t help but think about what I saw in the ruins one last time. I forcefully shoved it out once my thoughts became too heavy to bear, instead thinking of what we were going to do tomorrow.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Waking up in the circle of people after the battle with the White Whale was one of the greatest reliefs of my life. It was something I didn’t really think about upon dying, but if I had to live through that battle again, I would probably have gone crazy.

My thoughts are clear, and I’m not feeling the usual phantom pain, so I take that as a good sign, despite the mental trauma killing my best friend like that is definitely going to have on me after things finally calm down a bit. I can tell Subaru is a bit distracted, though, as he doesn’t notice Felix biting his ear for a few seconds.

“Ew, gross! What the hell!” He covers up his ear and quickly backs away from the culprit. Felix only shrugs his shoulders in response.

“You were spacing out a bit,” I tell him. He rubs his ear as he focuses on the surroundings, playing with his fingers a bit.

“Right, right. Okay, where were we again?” He questions, much to the annoyance of a few in the group. After managing to explain everything again, Subaru heads right into the new issues.

“I found out some new information, the main guy leading everything, the Sin Archbishop or whatever, he has some weird ability to put his consciousness into other people, does anyone know anything about that?” He questions.

“I think I may know something. I once saw something about it in an old research book; it’s a type of magic that has been lost to time. There are certain conditions for it to work; they have to be in the Witch’s Cult, and only a certain few from there.” Julius explains.

“Hm, so those would be the Fingers, right?” Felix asks.

“Most likely, it’s a technique involving the soul, so the Sin Archbishop is likely using those as his spare bodies, what a tasteless technique.” Julius sighs.

“So it’ll all be fine if we destroy the Fingers then,” Ricardo states.

“...Not quite,” Subaru says hesitantly. Everyone’s focus turns to him.

“I think I’m affected by this ability as well. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do?” He questions, glancing around at everyone’s surprised expressions. After that revelation, we quickly started to make plans.

They’re a little different from last time, now that we know exactly what we’re dealing with. Plans are easily made against the blank letter, Petelgeuse’s soul thing, and the merchants. Anything that went wrong last time is immediately discussed and fixed, and now, we’re ready to set out.

The first thing to take care of was Ram attacking the group in the woods. We had already decided to lead the attack after getting the villagers out. So that meant skipping out on killing Petelgeuse until after we dealt with the village.

We held up signs as we went along, they said how it was all a big mistake, and hopefully, Ram would read them and decide against attacking. Luckily, it all worked out, and we were able to safely make it to the village where we explained what was going on to Ram.

After that, we had to convince the villagers to leave. Well, that was easily left up to Subaru. Who basically groveled on the ground as he explained everything. I won’t make too much fun of him for it, though, because it worked. The villagers were on our side. After that, Wilhelm, Ram, and a disguised Subaru went to tell Emilia what was happening while the rest of us waited in the village.

“Seems like everything is going well.” I grin as we help some of the villagers get their stuff into a dragon carriage. One group was heading to the capital, while the other was heading to a place called the Sanctuary. I don’t really know what it is, but Ram said it was safe, so she’ll be leading that group out once they get back.

“Indeed, if everything continues at this smooth pace, then we shall be done in no time.” Julius smiles back.

“And then I can finally have a break and recover from all the trauma this experience has given me!” I cheer. The others just look at me in confusion.

“Ah, right, I forgot this kind of humor isn’t as popular here.” I sigh.

“Oh, looks like they’ve returned.” Felix points out, I turn to see Emilia walking toward the village with Ram, Wilhelm, and Subaru. While Emilia talks with a few of the kids, Subaru gives us the signal to leave. You see, we already knew about the spy planted within the merchants, so we simply gave them false information on when everything was going down, giving us ample time to get everyone out.

The guy had already snuck off earlier to go communicate, it was our job to take him down after he had done that. So we followed Subaru into the woods until we reached the cliff the guy was at. He was using a metia to communicate, surrounded by some friends from the Witch Cult. It was easy enough to take them down, with Felix and Julius killing them as Wilhelm held the spy at sword point.

We search the man's pockets for anything and find a map leading straight to the people he was talking to. We return just in time to see the last dragon carriage leaving as we hand the map to Ricardo, who is taking a small team to pick them off. Wilhelm leaves with the carriage, being its protection, while the rest of us stay behind. When Ricardo returned, presenting his success, he brought back something a little strange.

“Eh? No way!” I exclaim, glancing at their ‘prisoner’ tied up to a pole. It was none other than Otto, someone whom I had very mixed feelings about. Overall, though, this situation was pretty comical.

“How did you manage to get caught like that?” Subaru questions as I walk over and cut him down, explaining to Ricardo that he’s not part of the Witch Cult.

“Ugh, I don’t want to talk about it. Thanks for saving me.” He says, rubbing his wrists where they were tied.

“Really, I should’ve expected something like this; you must be the most unfortunate merchant in the world.” I sigh, patting Otto on the shoulder.

“Urk! It’s not like it’s my fault, things just happen.” He complains. With that, we finish off the final preparations to defeat Petelgeuse once and for all.

“You think this is it?” Subaru asks, a bit of trepidation in his voice.

“Yeah, I think we got this.” I grin, punching his arm.

“What was that for?” He asks, rubbing his arm even though we both know it didn’t hurt.

“It’s for good luck, and to tell you to stop worrying. Everything has gone to plan, even if shit does go wrong…I think we can handle it.” I tell him, keeping my voice light and optimistic.

“...You don’t really believe that…do you.” It’s a statement and not a question.

“Look, I’m not going to lie, I don’t want to have to go through this all again. If something goes wrong…again. Let’s just say I’m at the end of my rope here…so let’s just do our best and hope we make it.” I sigh, finally letting my voice betray a smidgen of the tiredness that I feel.

“Isn’t that depressing.” Subaru sighs in return.

“Yeah, if our mental state was bad before getting here, I’ve definitely tanked a lot.” I can’t help the small chuckle that comes out at the self-deprecating joke.

“Haha, yeah. Though this place did help me with a few things, so it’s not all bad.” Subaru says fondly.

“All ready?” Julius interrupts our conversation by calling out the the group. A cheer goes up throughout the crowd as we get ready to fight. My side of things is relatively easy in the grand scheme of things. I just need to go after the Fingers and some of the Witch Cult members.

I can feel the exact moment Petelgeuse is defeated as Subaru calls out his ability. I can feel the pain in my heart as time seems to stop…and then it continues. With that, the fight is done, and we easily reconvene at the village. Of course, that’s exactly when things decide to go wrong.

“The magic stones of fire are missing?” I question as we’re sitting around a table. It can’t be anything good based on the serious looks of those around me.

“It means someone left them onboard when we were loading up the villagers. They have enough firepower to blow up a small village.” Otto explains, and my mind is instantly brought back to the explosion from last time. The information makes me frown. We were right there, man!

“Damn it!” Subaru curses, likely thinking the same thing.

“Which carriage is it?” Julius asks, ever the responsible one.

“It was Ketty’s,” Otto responds. Subaru and I glance at each other, neither of us has any clue which one that is.

“That’s the carriage taking Emilia and the children to the capital,” Felix states gravely, instantly making us go pale.

“Fuuuuuuck.” I groan, smashing my head into the table.

“Shit, shit, we gotta go!” Subaru shouts, grabbing my hand and hauling me up and out the door.

“Felix, is there any way we can catch up on a ground dragon?” Subaru asks desperately.

“Not if they already made it out of the Mather’s Domain,” Felix replies.

“If I may? I’d be willing to help, but considering I’m in a bit of a desperate situation at the moment, I’d like to request a tra-!” Otto gets cut off mid-sentence by me.

“Look, whatever you want we’ll try to help, just know that trading over kids lives is kinda fucked though,” I tell him, he immediately panics, saying that wasn’t his intention, but we’re already on the move and so Otto is forced to start helping. Soon enough, I’m in a dragon carriage with Otto while Subaru talks to Julius. And then we’re on the road.

The carriage ride is…rough, more so than usual. I have to cling to the side just to make sure I don’t get blown away or tossed off. Otto brings us through a shortcut he found by using his divine protection, which lets him talk to animals and bugs. It seems having him help us was the right decision…until he drives us straight down a cliff and I almost fall out the back.

“Hey! Be more careful!” I shout, hanging onto the side desperately.

“Sorry!” Otto shouts back, but I know he’s not sorry at all because that bastard is definitely laughing about it. In fact, he starts absolutely losing his shit for a bit, talking about the rush of the wind, up until he completely pauses, his face going slack with shock.

“What is it?” Subaru questions.

“...The trees, they were loud for a second. The birds and bugs were making noises, but then…they just stopped. Something’s coming!” He warns. I turn back in time to notice the most horrifying and fucked up thing I’ve ever seen with my eyes come flying toward us.

It’s Petelguese…only it’s not. He’s clearly dead; that is a dead body flying at us and yelling about his flesh body. His eyes are blank and empty, and the back half of his body is completely gone, trailing blood across the ground as he gets closer. His movements are unnatural, like he’s moving with something unseen.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, OH FUCK!” I scream, backing up toward the front of the carriage. Subaru grabs me by the shoulder, passing me by to face the monstrosity behind us.

“What is it?” Otto questions, unease lacing his tone.

“Nothing, absolutely nothing, you don’t have to pay attention to it. Don’t look behind you, at all.” I tell Otto. Subaru is remarkably calm, facing down whatever the fuck that thing is. I can only watch in shock as Subaru faces it down as it screams about Satella and love, blood pouring from its eyes.

“D-dou you need any help?” I manage to stutter out.

“Nope! Just make sure I don’t fall off this thing, I know exactly what to do.” Subaru states confidently.

“Alright,” I answer, internally breathing a sigh of relief.

“We’re almost out of the forest!” Otto warns us. I then proceed to watch Subaru do the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen him do as he kicks oil at the thing and lights it on fire using a borrowed spirit from Julius. It works, but also makes the thing even more terrifying as it floats toward us now on fucking fire.

It attacks again, breaking up part of the carriage and hitting Subaru in the leg, causing me to wince in pain. I manage to catch Subaru as he falls backward, the things still shouting about this and that as it rips up the carriage. Subaru then grabs out a book, the Gospel, my mind supplies, and tosses it out of the carriage. The thing's eyes follow the book as Subaru stands up and punches it in the face.

“No, no…it can’t be over!” The thing shouts.

“You’re finished!” Subaru yells out, writing in the book with his own blood as the creature gets dragged under the wheel, screaming Subaru’s name.

“...Holy shit, that was the scariest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.” I breathe out.

“No kidding.” Subaru chuckles.

“I will never look down on you again,” I tell him.

“That’s good…wait! You looked down on me?!” He shouts, aghast. I can’t help but laugh. Then Otto points out something ahead of us, and we look out at the battlefield on the highway. Passing by, we ask Wilhelm where Emilia is, and he directs us forward. Eventually, Otto steers the carriage close enough so that we can hop onto the carriage holding Emilia and the children.

“You ready?” I ask Subaru, and he nods.

“Then let’s go!” I exclaim as we jump onto the carriage.

“Erik!? Subaru?!” Emilia questions upon seeing us.

“Sorry, no time for talking right now,” I say, as Subaru runs over to the floorboards of the carriage. Ripping one open and pulling out a bag. He hands it to me as he hops on the back of an earth dragon. I hop on behind him as we start riding off toward a cave in the distance, far enough away that the other carriages would be safe.

“Is this really the best idea?!” I ask Subaru as we ride out further.

“It’s the only one I’ve got!” He answers.

“Fuuuuuck!” I groan. As soon as we get near the cave, I jump off the back of the ground dragon, pool energy into my arms and legs, and throw the bag as hard as I can right as it starts smoking. The bag lands and then explodes.

“Oh, shit.” Is the last thing I get to say before the blast engulfs me. Luckily, we’re far enough away that it won’t do too much damage, but it sure doesn’t feel that way as my body goes flying and I hit my head on a rock, making myself unconscious.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Did you know something about this?” The voice is accusing, and it makes me flinch. I’m currently sitting in a bar in Flanders, sitting next to two of my previous companions. The third person sitting around our table is none other than the dragon Volcanica, currently using an illusion to convey human form.

“How could I know anything about it?” I question Reid; he was the one who made the accusing remark.

“But you must have, you looked at Satella weird after that trip to the ruins, and not only that, but when we told you what happened, you barely had a reaction! So, excuse me if I think you’re hiding something.” He grumbles.

“...Look, I did see something about this in the ruins, but I didn’t say anything. It’s not like I could’ve changed anything, and besides, I didn’t see the point. It’s not up to me to change anything anyway.” I reply. This only seems to make Reid angrier, but before he can do anything, he’s interrupted by Flugel.

“Let’s discuss this later. For now, we have to talk about how to defeat her.” He states.

“Easier said than done.” Volcanica sighs.

“I don’t think there is a plan to defeat her; all we can do is work together and give it our all.” I sigh.

“So, an alliance?” Reid asks.

“An alliance,” Flugel confirms.

“Right then, the alliance to defeat the Witch of Envy is officially formed.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

When I awaken, my body hurts. I can feel a dream slipping away from me. It felt important, but by the time I even realized I had one, it was gone. Sitting a distance away from me is Subaru, who had also just woken up.

It finally hit me, it was over, everything was finally over. I would cry…but I didn’t feel like I had any tears left. They were all ripped out of me by what had happened before. It’s a victory, but I also feel numb inside. I doubt this would be the end of our deaths…but one could always hope.

Subaru finally gets to talk with Emilia and apologize, and then we all drag ourselves back to the carriages to continue on our way to the capital to reunite with the others. I’m exhausted and surrounded by children. I want to sleep, but my mind is still running a mile a minute, not quite trusting that everything is over.

I’m only half listening as Subaru describes what happened after Emilia left. Going over our training with Wilhelm and the battle with the White Whale. He’s enthusiastically talking about Rem and how much she helped him, when Emilia says something that makes my blood run cold.

“Subaru, I’m glad you found someone who helped you like that, but I have a question for you.” Subaru easily nods his head, ready for the question. Not thinking about how weird her sentence was.

“Who is…Rem?”

Chapter Text

“...Huh?” In an instant, everything changes, and both Subaru and I turn toward Emilia with a confused glance as she stares back at us. Not a single shred of recognition on her face at the name that came out of her mouth just before.

My mind instantly travels to a time before, when an encounter with the White Whale led to Rem getting…well, it doesn’t matter because we defeated the White Whale. So something like that shouldn’t have happened. But…it is weird, the blank letter, Ram never once asked about her sister. Just like that, all the dots connect inside my head, and I’m left with only the harsh truth.

“You’re kidding, right? Rem works as a maid at the mansion; she’s Ram’s sister.” Subaru states, his expression one of confused denial.

“I’m sorry but…nobody by that name has ever worked for Roswaal, I don’t think. And Ram never had a sister, are you sure you’re not confused?” Emilia questions, placing a worried hand on his shoulder. Subaru turns to me for confirmation, and all I can do is shrug my shoulders, indicating I have no idea what happened either.

“We’ll know what happened when we get there,” I tell him, placing my head on my knees. I don’t have the energy to deal with all this right now. If Rem…isn’t there, then I don’t know what we’ll do. It was only a few hours. How could things have gotten this bad?

The rest of the ride is silent and tense, even though the others don’t quite know what’s going on, they sense that something is wrong. It leaves the atmosphere stilted, and no new conversations are able to start. It’s night by the time we finally arrive at the capital.

The scene upon arriving at the Karstein mansion is dismal; there are injured people lying on the floor outside as medical staff rush about, placing bandages and trying to heal the wounded. Some people didn’t make it, and had a cloth placed over their faces. The screams of the injured and their friends alike are horrific.

“Rem, where’s Rem?” Subaru frantically glances around. I can only watch in horror as he runs off to go look for her, as Emilia steps out of the carriage beside me.

“This is horrible. What happened?” Emilia questions, glancing around.

“I have no idea.” I manage to choke out. I spot Felix and Wilhelm, standing over a collapsed Crusch still in her armor. I start to head over to where I saw Subaru last, and when I find him, he’s hovering over the body of Rem; she’s completely still, her eyes closed.

“Is she-?” I cut off, not willing to finish my words.

“No, just asleep, but nothing they do will get her to wake up,” Subaru says through tears. I lower myself beside him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, and let out a soft gasp when I see what he’s cradling in his hands, a broken sword.

“I thought…I wanted to…I just want to see if we can fix this, but I don’t want to do it without your permission.” He explains, keeping his face carefully turned away from mine. I’m silent for a second as I choose what I’m going to say next carefully.

“Do you…think it’ll change anything?” I ask quietly, even though I tried to be gentle about it, I still feel the full-body flinch.

“I’m not…trying to be rude or anything. It’s just…they were already gone after our most recent save point. There’s no guarantee we can catch up to them, figure out what happened, and defeat Petelgeues flawlessly. We might run ourselves into the ground trying.” I explain. I feel his shoulders sink as he leans his head against my shoulder, the sword falling from his hands.

“I just…want everything to be okay again. Is that too much to ask for?” His voice cracks as he begins to sob into my shoulder as I rub comforting circles on his back. Emilia finds us a bit later, and we’re led into the Karstein mansion after everything gets sorted out and the injured are mostly taken care of. Rem is moved to a bed inside the mansion.

Currently, Subaru and I are both sitting in the room next to the sleeping Rem. Nobody can wake her, and nobody remembers her besides us. It feels like I didn’t try hard enough to help her by refusing to die…but I can’t do it. I can’t take having to go through everything again and having to figure out another plan.

“Hey, it’s not your fault. I understand that, well, it’s hard.” Subaru places a hand on my shoulder, and I’m quickly brought out of my thoughts.

“Yeah, but it still feels like I’m not doing everything I can, everything I should. If it were you, you wouldn’t have stopped until you saved her. But I’m just…I can’t take doing it over and over again.” I tell him, looking guiltily at the floor.

“I know, and you don’t have to. Don’t ever feel like you have to. I don’t want to put that burden on you.” He states, fiddling awkwardly with his hands.

“You shouldn’t have to either…” I trailed off in a small voice; it didn’t look like Subaru heard. Suddenly, a bright light appears in the room, expanding to show Puck.

“Oh, hey, Puck.” Subaru greets, trying to keep a chipper attitude but failing miserably.

“Well, isn’t the mood in this room awful.” Puck comments.

“Seriously?” I deadpan, shooting him a withering glare.

“Sorry, sorry.” He quickly apologizes.

“What are you doing here, Puck?” Subaru questions.

“Well, I’m here to see this girl, of course. I have a connection with her, don’t I?” He states.

“Ah, then can you-?” Subaru’s cut off as Puck waves his tail back and forth with a tsking noise.

“Nope, not even my power can wake her up. But I can tell you a bit about the thing that did this.” Puck offers.

“Yes, please, any information would help,” Subaru says gratefully, letting out a sigh of relief.

“Right, the one that did this was Gluttony. To make things simple, the Authority of Gluttony is related to eating in a sense. He has the ability to ‘eat’ names and memories. If he eats your name, everyone forgets about you; if he eats your memories, you lose them. And if he takes both, you’re left with nothing but an empty shell.” Puck explains.

The explanation has shivers running through my body. What a truly disgusting ability, to have the entire world forget about you, or to forget yourself. And then taking both could cause you to sleep forever, never being able to wake up again, with nobody even knowing what happened or who you are.

“...That’s awful.” Is all I manage to say out loud.

“Indeed, may I ask you two a favor? I know you both are going through a lot, but this would ease my mind.” We both turn to Puck as he says this, a questioning look in our eyes.

“Take care of Lia for me.” He says, before disappearing in a flash of light. We’re left in silence, and eventually, it becomes too much.

“Let’s go, we should probably talk with the others,” Subaru suggests, and I follow him out of the room and into the dimly lit hallway.

“Ah, there you two are, how is she?” A voice calls out to us. It’s Crusch, wearing a pink gown and standing a bit away from us. My feelings are complicated as I look at Crusch, it’s hard to tell the difference at first glance…but Crusch was also a victim of Gluttony. Having her memories stolen.

“She’s the same as before…” Subaru responds.

“I’m sorry for prying.” She quickly apologizes.

“No, no, it’s alright, we’ve just been through a lot recently, so our mood isn’t quite there,” I tell her, waving my arms around as she bows her head toward us in apology.

“Right, well, I just came to tell you that everyone is in the lounge and waiting for you…” She suddenly trails off as she looks at us, a trace of horror in her expression. It takes me a minute to figure out that she wanted to use our names.

“Erik, and this guy right here is Subaru.” I introduce again.

“Yes, I’m very sorry.” She quickly apologizes.

“It’s not your fault, you don’t have to worry about it so much.” Subaru comforts. We follow Crusch to the lounge, where Ferris, Emilia, and Wilhelm are already waiting. We quickly take a seat as Ferris apologizes for having Crusch get us.

“Now that everybody is here, let’s get started,” Wilhelm says, catching everyone’s attention. We start with a quick review of the situation. On the way back to the capital, the carriages Rem and Crusch were apart of got attacked.

Some people died, and others lost their memories before the backup arrived. No healers could fix the lost memories or Rem, who got both her name and memories stolen. It was an obvious attack by the Witch Cult.

“Seriously, what rotten luck this is. Right after defeating Sloth, we have to deal with another one. Though we already knew the Witch Cult would be involved since Emilia was revealed to be participating in the Royal Selection.” Ferris sighs.

“...Then, it really is my fault,” Emilia says sadly.

“No, it’s not your fault. You are not responsible for how other people act based on something you can’t control. Say somebody pushed me in the street because I had black hair, is that my fault?” I ask Emilia.

“...No.” She answers, “But it’s not that simple-!” I cut her off before she could continue.

“Maybe, but the base problem is that it’s not your fault. You aren’t responsible for their actions, alright?”

“Alright.” She relents.

“Hmm, though I slightly disagree, I can admit there is truth to your statement. But I’d like to bring something up about the alliance.” Ferris states, leading the conversation back on topic. We all stare at her as she prepares what to say next.

“I think…we should scrap it.”

“What, why?” Subaru immediately questions.

“An alliance is made to benefit both parties. Even if it’s not her fault, it’s still a fact that Emilia and her allies will be targeted by the Witch Cult. Can you guarantee that Crusch won’t get hurt again?” Ferris questions. The silence on our end easily makes her point.

“I have to say I disagree.” Wilhelm suddenly cuts in, and Ferris whips her head toward him.

“What?! Why!? Look what already happened to Crusch because of this alliance, if we continue to help them, who’s to say something worse won’t happen!?” She wipes away tears of frustration as she glares at Wilhelm. The two soon start to argue about their reasoning, with Ferris getting more and more upset as it goes on.

“Stop it! You have been making all these decisions, but we have yet to hear from the one person whose decision truly matters. Crusch is the Royal Selection candidate here, and she is the one we offered the alliance to. Whether she remembers or not doesn’t matter; she deserves to have an opinion.” I interrupt them with a smack to the table.

“Thank you. He’s right, I think out of everyone here, I can choose what I want to do for myself. Even though I am much more useless now, and have forgotten certain people. I do know I owe a great debt to these people and that they have done a lot to help us. Personally, I am in favor of keeping the alliance.” Crusch states.

“Crusch…” Ferris trails off, fresh tears falling from her eyes. She breaks down then and there, with Crusch holding and comforting her.

“It seems you will have to deal with me for a bit longer. Sorry for the inconvenience.” Crusch says, looking at Emilia.

“No, it’s fine. We still have to discuss stuff with our side. But for now, I’m glad that we are allies.” Emilia smiles, extending her hand toward Crusch, who gladly shakes it. I start to head to bed soon after the meeting, but before either Subaru or I get very far, we are stopped by Wilhelm.

“There is something I must tell you both.” He says, his tone grave.

“What is it?” Subaru asks curiously.

“An…old wound on my shoulder has recently flared up again. It was one given to me by my wife, who had the Divine Protection of the Death God. When close in proximity to the user, it will continue to bleed, and no healing magic or bandages will make it better.” Wilhelm explains.

“So, for it to have flared up again, does that mean…” I trail off, thinking about the implications.

“I do not know, I can’t confirm anything. But I thought I should let you two know, just in case something were to happen in relation to my injury.” Wilhelm states.

“Well, I hope everything turns out all right.” Subaru places a comforting hand on his shoulder. After that, Subaru heads to Rem’s room while I head off to bed. I would’ve stayed with him…but I’m too tired, I can barely keep my head up as is. I just hope I’m exhausted enough that the nightmares don’t haunt my sleep.

The next morning, we’re quick to leave under the supervision of Crusch. It’s better for us to get back to the mansion so we can talk to Roswaal and Ram about everything that happened and what it means for the future. Subaru even got to keep his earth dragon, who I now find out is named Patrasche. Even Otto is coming back with us, having managed to stick around to get something out of Roswaal when we meet with him.

The ride back is leisurely, with Emilia, Subaru, and Otto all discussing different things as I watch out the window. Complicated feelings stir in my gut as I stew in my emotions. Too many things have happened recently for me to just ignore. But watching the others relax a bit makes me think I’ll have the chance to finally decompress after everything.

A sudden chill overcomes my body, and a sense of foreboding overtakes my mind for a second before completely disappearing. Sometimes I think back on that moment and wish I had taken it more seriously than I did in the moment. Maybe I could’ve been prepared for everything that was to come.

Well…there’s no use thinking back on it now. What happened, happened, for better or for worse. But still, it hurts to think about the person I used to be before the Sanctuary, before arriving in this world.

Chapter Text

When we arrive in the village…nobody is there. Which is weird because in the plan we discussed, both groups would immediately head back after everything was over, and considering we got held up for negotiations and other things in the capital…the other group should be back by now.

“It seems the others haven’t made it back yet,” Emilia states, trying to keep her voice optimistic.

“Maybe they got held up by something?” Subaru suggests.

“...Maybe.” I sigh, watching the villagers we brought from the capital search around the village.

“Emilia, do you happen to know where the Sanctuary is?” Subaru questions, turning to give her a curious glance.

“Eh!? I thought you knew where it was!” She panics.

“Shit, you’re telling me none of us actually verified where the Sanctuary was before we sent them off,” I say, looking at the other two who glance to the side guiltily.

“Right…well, what kind of place is the Sanctuary? Did anybody mention it to you, Emilia?” Subaru asks, trying to get information.

“Hm, Roswaal didn’t tell me much, only mentioning that it was a secret base and…never mind. I really should have asked more.” She sighs. I can tell that she was about to mention something before cutting off, but I decide to give her the benefit of the doubt. It probably wasn’t anything that would hurt us in the long run.

“It’s fine, don’t worry, we can still head to the mansion and find some clues.” Subaru says optimistically.

“They probably just got held up by something stupid.” I shoot a side glance at the villagers who have started listening in on our conversation. I don’t want them getting too worried.

“Otto, you want to come with?” Subaru asks the merchant.

“Eh? To the mansion…I’m not so sure…” He trails off worriedly.

“It’ll be fine, just bring the carriage there and put it and the ground dragons in the back,” Subaru instructs as we hop back in the carriage to make our way to the mansion. Subaru places Rem on his back as we make our way out of the carriage.

“Y’know, this place looks kind of creepy. I mean, the lighting and with everyone being gone, it’s kind of like a ghost mansion.” I muse, it was currently sunset, casting an eerie orange glow over everything.

“You don’t have to go scaring me like that, next thing you know, we’re going to knock on the door and some creepy ghost girl is going to be popping out.” Subaru admonishes, though he really only helps grow the story.

“Well, Beatrice is still here, maybe if we knock, she’ll pop out?” Emilia suggests.

“Yeah, but only to see Puck, she couldn’t care less about the rest of us.” Subaru sighs. I have to stifle a laugh; this man is completely oblivious when it comes to the important things. How does he not know that Beatrice definitely sees him as a friend, no matter how much she might deny it.

“But if Beatrice doesn’t pop out, what kind of ghost girl do you think it’d be?” I question Subaru as we start walking up the stairs and toward the entrance.

“Hmm, maybe the ghost of an old maid? She died underneath the mansion unbeknownst to anybody, now she haunts the place furiously trying to get people to find her body, with scary teeth and clawed hands.” He jokes.

“Geez, you guys don’t have to be telling scary stories like that, the only thing it’ll do is keep you up at night.” Emilia scolds as we reach the door, and she quickly raps on it a few times to let Beatrice know we’re here.

“Coming~!” A strange voice lilts. Subaru and I turn to each other at the exact same time, and the door opens to reveal an unfamiliar woman in a maid outfit.

“Welcome back, I have been waiting for you.” She greets us with a curtsy before glancing up and smiling at us with two rows of shiny, sharp teeth. Subaru and I instantly scream and take a step back as Emilia starts laughing, and the unfamiliar maid stares at us in confusion and shock.

“Guys, guys, don’t worry, this is just Frederica,” Emilia says between wheezes. Emilia then launches into an explanation as to who exactly this woman is. Apparently, her name is Frederica Baumann, and she used to be an employee at the mansion before we arrived.

“I think I remember hearing about a maid who used to work here.” Subaru muses as we sit down in one of the meeting rooms of the mansion.

“I left for personal reasons, but came back at a request from Ram. But then I found the mansion completely empty, luckily I found a letter in the Master’s office that explained what happened.” Frederica explains.

“Huh, interesting, but why did Ram ask you to return in the first place?” I question.

“Well, when I returned, the place looked dreadful. All the trees were a complete mess, and the kitchen was destroyed.” She recounts.

“Yikes, that sounds pretty serious!” Subaru interjects.

“But it doesn't make any sense, Ram did a good job when you left, so why now in the past few days did it turn out like this?” Emilia mutters. The room turns silent, and Emilia pauses as if suddenly realizing what she said.

“It’s because Rem is gone. She used to do all the chores, I’m guessing Ram couldn’t keep up, so she asked Frederica for help.” Subaru explains, his voice and face carefully blank.

“I’m guessing this has something to do with this person?” Frederica says, her head tilted toward Rem, who is currently lying on the couch across from us.

“She’s Ram’s younger sister, she’s a maid here, in fact, you probably knew her pretty well. But something happened and…well, I’m sure you don’t remember her.” I tell her, keeping my explanation short.

“I’m sorry, how do you think the Master and Ram will react when they return?” Frederica asks, quickly changing the subject.

“I have no idea, I can’t imagine Ram not remembering her sister, they were really close. And Roswaal, well, I have no clue what he would do.” Subaru states, glancing down guiltily.

“Ahem, have you heard anything from Roswaal?” Emilia asks, tilting her head toward Frederica.

“No, that man is a complete mystery; only two people in this world are able to figure him out accurately. Ram and the great spirit of the mansion’s forbidden library. If he told anyone anything, it would be one of those two,” Frederica reveals.

“Ugh, knowing that bastard, he definitely has something planned.” I curse.

“Erik! You shouldn’t criticize him, he’s still technically your employer.” Emilia scolds.

“Oh fuck, I forgot about that. Whatever, as long as you two don’t snitch, it’s fine. Besides, can’t we all agree that the guy is kind of creepy? I mean, he definitely has something going on behind the scenes.” I say, sinking down lower into my chair as I talk.

“Hahaha, be careful who you say that to, but don’t worry, I won’t tell him.” Frederica chuckles.

“Well, that’s good. I was actually kind of worried there.” I sigh in relief.

“What should we do now?” Emilia questions.

“That’s easy, we go talk to Beatrice, she’s the library spirit you mentioned, right?” I say, turning to Frederica to confirm.

“Indeed.” She nods as I push myself out of the chair, Subaru rising beside me.

“I guess it’s time to go see the lovely Beako.” He says, with a giant smirk on his face.

“If you tease her too much, she won’t give us any information,” I warn him as we walk out into the hall.

“It’ll be fine.” He waves off my worries as we walk down the hall for a bit, until Subaru suddenly stops and opens a door next to us, successfully leading us to the library and Beatrice, sitting on her usual stool with a book in her hands.

“Wow! Long time no see, Beako! Don’t you have any greetings for your best friend in the entire world?” Subaru immediately starts shouting as soon as we enter the room. I have to physically hold him back to keep him from pouncing on her. Their relationship is like a cat that wants nothing to do with its owner.

“Hmph, no wonder it’s been so noisy.” She chastises him, closing her book with a snap as she glares up at him.

“Right, while we’re very happy to see you, we’re actually here for some information about Roswaal. An entire group of villagers and Ram went to the Sanctuary to escape the Witch Cult, but they haven’t returned. Someone told us you might have heard something from Roswaal.” I explain, letting go of Subaru as he calms down and sits down on the floor next to Beatrice.

“Hah! Who told you that!? Ah, it must be that girl, well, she isn’t completely wrong, I suppose.” She scoffs.

“So? Do you have anything for us?” I ask, sinking to the ground beside Subaru.

“Well, he hasn’t given me anything. I doubt he’s thinking that far ahead.” She answers.

“Hm, are we giving him too much credit?” Subaru questions. I don’t quite believe it, but I keep my mouth shut as the conversation topic shifts to the gospel, which Subaru brings out of his pocket.

“Wha-! Why do you, of all people, have one of those!?” Beatrice immediately shouts. The wording of it makes me pause, but I don’t have the chance to say anything again as the conversation continues around me.

“Oh, I picked it up off the enemy; it belonged to the guy who was leading the witch cult guys surrounding the mansion.” He tells her calmly.

“...I see, and what happened to him?” She asks.

“He’s dead, I killed him.” He responds.

“...Then you’ve left me behind too, just like the rest, I suppose…Geuse.” She mumbles it quietly, but Subaru and I are both able to hear. We turn to each other, but I shrug my shoulders, and Subaru sighs, a silent conversation to say we should avoid talking about it.

“Now then, if you’ve killed Sloth, a Sin Archbishop, then what happened to his Witch Factor?” Beatrice asks after taking a moment to compose herself.

“...Huh?” Subaru and I echo at the same time.

“You both…wait, you truly don’t know…then why in the world did you kill Sloth? And what is Roswaal…” She mumbles to herself.

“Look, Roswaal is at the Sanctuary, we just wanted to figure out if you heard anything from him.” I interrupt her musings, though it appears to have made her a bit annoyed.

“All of the answers you seek lie in the Sanctuary, I suppose. Roswaal’s intentions, the meaning of the Gospel, and answers about the Witch Factor, it’s all there. If you want to go, simply ask the half-beast girl; she can lead you, in fact.” She lists everything off like instructions in a book.

“If you know all that, then why can't you just tell us yourself?” I question her. She flinches before giving me a glare.

“I don’t have to tell you anything, I have the right to refuse that. I already showed you the path, now get out. I am not a tool for your convenience.” The room shakes as she talks. I can feel a pressure push against me as the door flings open and we’re shoved through. In that moment, though, I couldn’t help but think she looked a little sad.

We get flung out and just so happen to land on one very confused Otto. We soon head back to the meeting room, this time with Otto in tow, neither of us talks about what happened in the library with Beatrice, only mentioning a few vague details.

“Hm, so you really can just enter the forbidden library whenever you want.” Frederica muses.

“Of course he can, he has it down to a cheat, though I bet half of it is Beatrice letting him do it,” I tell her.

“What are you talking about?” Subaru questions. I simply shrug in response.

“Well, back to what we were talking about, I think the best course of action is to head to the Sanctuary. While you guys were with Beatrice, I made sure to ask Frederica if she could tell us.” Emilia says, easily getting the conversation back on track.

“I agree, I don’t think we’ll be getting much out of Beatrice, so the best thing to do is figure it out ourselves,” I state.

“Ugh, this makes me anxious for some reason. But I don’t suppose we have any other choice.” Subaru sighs.

“While I was told not to disclose anything other than necessary information, Emilia was very persistent, so I will help you all. I just need some time to prepare, so please give me two days.” Frederica says politely.

“Ah, I guess you do need some time if we’re all going-” Subaru gets cut off by Frederica.

“I will be staying at the mansion.” She tells him.

“Hm? So then, how are we getting there?” He questions.

“Isn’t it obvious, we’re getting Otto to take us. More like he volunteered for it so he could get some brownie points from Roswaal for helping Emilia.” I cackle.

“Though I don’t know what ‘brownie points’ means, I’m sure I get the gist, why would you put it that way!?” Otto complains.

“What, Otto, really? I thought better of you!” Emilia scolds.

“Can we move on, please?” Otto begs.

“Haha, fine, fine, Frederica, could you tell us a bit about the Sanctuary?” Subaru asks the older maid.

“Alright, listen up then, what I’m about to tell you is the undisclosed location of the Sanctuary of Clemaldy and how to enter it. There is one name there you must be careful of, beware the one named ‘Garfiel’. He is the one whom you must exercise the most care around.” Frederica warns. The words leave a sinking feeling in my gut as she continues the rest of her explanation.

Two days pass by in a flash, also seeing the arrival of a new maid to help Frederica in the form of one of the children from the village, Petra. I haven’t interacted with her enough to get a good read on her, but Subaru seems to know her well. Though their interactions leave me thinking the girl might have a small crush on Subaru.

I’m waiting outside for Subaru, Otto, and Emilia are beside me as Frederica stands to the side, ready to see us off. After he finally arrives, Frederica hands Emilia a blue necklace, saying it will allow her to pass through the barrier surrounding the Sanctuary. Petra gives Subaru a white handkerchief as a gift, tying it around his hand before hiding behind Frederica, slightly flustered.

“Thanks for giving us this information, Frederica. I hope we get to know each other more after we return, you too, Petra.” I tell the younger girl, bending down a bit to look her in the eye.

“Mm, I also look forward to getting to know you.” She replies. I reach out my hand for her to shake, and she takes it lightly, giving it a small shake before letting go. With that, I turn around and enter the carriage, sitting down to prepare for the journey.

For a second, while I’m alone, I think back to all the interactions I’ve had since arriving back at the mansion. Something isn’t adding up. Frederica received a letter from Roswaal, but didn’t tell us anything about it. Beatrice clearly knows something, but she won’t tell us. All of it points to something more going on, probably centered around Roswaal and the Sanctuary. But there’s not much I can do about it, so I can only sigh to myself as the others enter the carriage and we head off.

“Puck isn’t showing up?” The question is asked by Subaru, we’re a while into our trip to the Sanctuary, and after talking about a number of different things, Emilia nervously brought the topic up.

“Mhm, I can feel the link from our contract, but I’ve called him a few different times and he hasn’t shown up.” She explains.

“Well, has this ever happened before?” I ask her.

“Not really…though there have been times when he hasn’t shown up for a few days. It should be fine, though. I have some contracts with lesser spirits, so I can still fight.” Emilia reassures. My mind immediately turns to what Puck told us before heading back to the capital, well, hopefully it’ll turn out fine.

“Excuse me, just wanted to say we’ve entered the forest, so we should be getting close!” Otto calls out to us from the front of the carriage. We all glance out the window at this declaration. I feel a clenching in my gut, and I can see Emilia grip the edge of the seat. It seems the only one who wasn’t nervous was Subaru.

“Don’t worry, you guys, I’m sure everything will be fine.” Subaru tries to cheer us up.

“I know, I didn’t mean to worry you.” Emilia quickly apologizes, “I was just thinking, the Sanctuary is a home for Demi-humans…so maybe there will be another half-elf there.” She says.

“I can see how that would be nerve-wrecking.” Subaru comforts.

“What about you, Erik? Why are you nervous?” Emilia asks.

“Ah, well, I guess it’s more of a feeling. This whole thing seems kind of sketchy. I’m just a bit worried. Even though we’ve had a few days of break, it would kind of suck to get pulled into something again so soon.” I explain.

Before the other two can answer, a sudden flash of blue light has us glancing at the necklace Emilia is wearing. Subaru apologizes before grabbing the necklace off of Emilia, who collapses before Subaru is able to chuck it out the window. The light grows brighter, and suddenly, Subaru is gone.

“Ah, fuck.”

Chapter Text

“Otto! We have a problem back here!” I shout, quickly rushing up to the little window that separates the driver and the rest of the carriage, and throwing it open.

“What happened-!?” Otto cuts off with a strangled noise as he glances back into the dragon carriage.

“I don’t know, the necklace Emilia had started glowing so Subaru took it off her, she passed out, he disappeared, and I have no clue what’s going on,” I explain, panic starting to set in.

“This isn’t good. What do we do?” Otto questions frantically.

“How am I supposed to know, I mean I-” I cut off as soon as I spot something in front of us.

“Otto,” I say harshly.

“What? Did you have an idea?” He asks.

“No, Otto, turn around, keep your fucking eyes on the road!” I screech, turning him around harshly to face forward. He lets out a scream when he spots the figure of a person in the middle of the road, right before a clearing. Swiftly grabbing onto the reins, he tries to stop the carriage by moving it sideways, but it doesn’t stop in time, and I close my eyes, expecting a crash.

I open them hesitantly when it doesn’t happen, and can only watch as the figure that was once standing in the road is now in the driver's seat next to Otto, picking him up and throwing him into the clearing. My mouth gaped open with shock, unconsciously cursing as I scrabbled to open the door to the dragon carriage. When I finally stumbled out, the person stood there with a smirk on his face, as if he were waiting for me.

He has short blonde hair, a blue necklace wrapped around his neck, and an open vest-like shirt, a scar shaped like an X on his face, and sharp teeth that made his smirk look downright terrifying. The resemblance was uncanny; there was no doubt that this person was related to Frederica.

“Hmph, what do you idiots think you’re doing, trespassing here like this. Well, I’ll just throw you out into the forest and be done with ya, so long as you promise not to tell a soul.” He grins, cracking his knuckles.

“Woah, woah, I think there’s been some sort of misunderstanding, so how about we just relax and not start a fight?” I suggest, while placing my hands up placatingly. A split second is all I have to grab out my daggers before he’s in front of me, a fist straining against my daggers as I block.

Damn, this guy is strong! I can feel my muscles groan and stretch under his force, he seems almost surprised by it as well, so I use that chance to push him back slightly and give myself some distance. Already circulating mana through my body in the technique I now know as the Flow Method.

“Look, I swear we had permission to be here, ah, do you happen to know-” Before I can say Frederica’s name, the man's attention is caught by something else as he glances behind him toward a weird building covered in different vines and other such overgrowth.

“Huh, so there was more of ya.” He mutters. It only takes a second for me to understand what he’s talking about, but it’s already too late as he springs toward the building that Subaru is now walking out of. He stops just in front of Subaru, grabs him, and throws him up in the air and into the clearing.

I move to catch him, and then remember the daggers in my hand, I pause, trying to think of what to do with them, my brain not quite catching up to the entire situation. That pause ends up being slightly too long as I throw my daggers down and realize I’m not close enough to catch him. I’m saved by none other than Patrasche as she maneuvers the dragon carriage, allowing Subaru to bump off the top, letting me dash in to catch him on time.

“What the actual fuck is happening?” He questions breathlessly.

“I have no idea.” I sigh, glancing around the clearing. Otto is still on the floor, and Patrasche is now squaring up against the man. Wait…what?

“Patrasche, no!” Subaru shouts, raising a hand out to try and stop her, though it’s useless in the end as she charges at the man and bites him. The man doesn’t even flinch before grabbing onto Patrasche and throwing her halfway across the clearing. He then turns to us with another grin before launching himself straight toward us. I have no way to block as I still have Subaru in my arms.

“Wait! You know Frederica, don’t you!?” Subaru desperately shouts as the man’s fist gets near enough to create a fair amount of wind as it suddenly stops, right in front of my face. Holy shit that was terrifying.

“Hah? Why is that name coming from your disgusting mouth?” The man questions.

“Why do you think? Just think about it for a moment.” Subaru insults, and I can’t help but think this is not the time for this. Considering I’m the one about to get punched. I make sure to pinch him to let him know of my displeasure. It doesn’t matter much that he would feel the same thing; it’s the principle of the matter.

“...Thought about it. No idea. I’ll think more after I bash your skulls in.” He grins, lifting his fist up higher to punch again. Subaru and I immediately started heavily protesting.

“Look, if we know her name and were able to get here, obviously we know her too!” I shout anxiously, slowly tilting my head away from his fist.

“Hm, well, if you do know her, then she must’ve told ya about me, right? I’m Garfiel, so how the hell do you know I have anything to do with Frederica?” He questions, his mouth twisting with displeasure.

“...” Subaru and I are silent as we look at each other for a moment.

“You can’t be serious.” Subaru deadpans.

“You look exactly the same,” I tell him. It seems the person Frederica warned us about was her own brother, but seriously, she could’ve told us more if it was going to lead to this kind of situation. Now that Garfiel has calmed down some, we quickly explain the situation to him, and soon we’re all in the carriage again with Otto driving us to the location Garfiel told us about.

“Seriously, how come I’m the only one who got beat up?” I hear Otto sigh.

“It could’ve been worse,” I tell him with a shrug.

“I could at least get an apology.” He mumbles.

“Sorry, not much I can say, you were trespassing,” Garfiel states.

“Is this how you treat everyone who ends up here? What if something like this happens again, but they can’t defend themselves?” Subaru scolds.

“Hey, it’s better to hit first and ask questions later. Besides, you should’ve told me about that stuff sooner, gotta act on a ganglion before ya think about it.” Garfiel says. I’m sure it was a saying, but whatever it is he just said made absolutely no sense. Subaru and I give each other a shared look of confusion before turning back to the conversation.

“So, this must be the famous Miss Emilia, the silver-haired half-devil that Roswaal’s helpin’ out,” Garfiel states coarsely.

“Hey, she’s a half-elf, don’t call her that.” Subaru immediately scolds, glaring at Garfiel.

“Hm? Looks like you do have a fight in ya, wanna know how it feels to be a bazomazo bein’ flung back an’ forth?” Garfiel asks, cracking his knuckles again.

“Ahem, strange terms of speech aside, we’re not trying to start anything. It’s just respectful not to call someone by a hateful term.” I leap in to clarify, glaring at Garfiel, who only shrugs and goes back to looking bored. Just then, Emilia sits up and Subaru rushes over to make sure she’s alright.

“You gave us quite the scare, passing out like that,” I tell her, as she blinks around in confusion, her gaze suddenly sliding over to Garfiel.

“Who are you? I won’t let you hurt my friends if that’s what you’re here for!” She immediately jumps up and rushes between Garfiel and us.

“Emilia, though I appreciate this, I can hold my own in a fight,” I tell her, grabbing one of her arms and pulling her back.

“Yeah, don’t worry, he’s with us. We ran into him while you were passed out.” Subaru comforts.

“Oh.” She mumbles, backing off but angling herself so she can jump in if Garfiel decides to do anything.

“I won’t do anythin’, don’t worry, if I did, Ram would give me hell later,” Garfiel states.

“Ram?” Emilia blinks at him in surprise.

“He’s Garfiel, the one Frederica told us about. He’s bringing us to the Sanctuary right now.” Subaru explains.

“Speaking of, they are there, right? Because if they aren’t, I promise hell to pay.” I tell Garfiel, placing my fist in front of him threateningly.

“Hah! Believe me or don’t, you’ll see in a bit, ‘sides, a threat from you don’t scare me none.” He chuckles. I feel the urge to stick my tongue out at him, or flip him off, but considering I don’t really know this guy, I don’t manage more than an annoyed huff.

“I don’t know why you’re questionin’ me now though, we’re already past the barrier so there’s no turnin’ back.” He adds on, almost as an afterthought.

“Ah, so we’re already in the Sanctuary?” Emilia questions.

“You passed out, didn’t ya? When you got close to the barrier.” Garfiel clarifies. It’s almost like he’s confused that we don’t know what’s going on. Which is seriously pissing me off, it’s not like we ever got an solid details about this place.

“But then, why did Emilia pass out. This thing glowed at the same time, was it all because of the barrier?” Subaru pulls the necklace out of his pocket to show as he talks. Garfiel is staring at us like we’re idiots.

“You should know the reason she passed out and the rest of ya were fine. It’s obvious.” He scoffs. I can almost feel my patience snapping. I roughly card a hand through my hair in an effort to calm my tense nerves.

“So this is a place where demihumans with mixed blood live?” Subaru asks.

“Yup! We welcome you, Miss Emilia, and your three escorts. Though, while Roswaal likes to call it a Sanctuary, it ain’t the place that deserves that kinda name.” Garfiel adds on bitterly as we move toward the window to take a glance outside.

There are a few houses spread around, but they’re cracked and decaying, covered in different overgrown plants. The residents, people with different animal features, all look wary and half-starved. They look worn down and weary, my gaze slides over a few of them, and some flinch back while others glare. I could even swear one girl with rabbit features grinned at us, but when I glanced back, she looked as wary as the rest of them.

We’re stopped by someone standing in the middle of the road, when I move to look who it is, I see pink hair and a maid's outfit. It’s Ram, of course, she’s insulting us for taking too long, but even though it’s only been a few days, I feel like I haven’t seen her in forever.

“Ram! I missed you!” I cheer, throwing myself out of the carriage and rushing up to hug her. I can feel her stiffen under me, but she eventually slightly relaxes.

“I knew you liked hugs,” I whisper to her.

“You only get five seconds, any longer than that and I will make sure both you and Barusu feel my wrath.” She states coldly. I timed it perfectly, letting go just before the last second was up. I raise my hands in surrender as she swats at me with a glare.

“Hey! I let go in time!” I chuckle, moving slightly away from her. All I get in return is a glare and a huff.

“Miss Emilia, I welcome you. Lord Roswaal is waiting inside.” Ram dutifully greets Emilia as she walks out of the dragon carriage.

“Hey Ram, it’s good to see a familiar face here!” Subaru greets.

“Barusu.” Ram replies coldly.

“Geez, how come the reaction is so different?” Subaru mumbles to himself. Ram must’ve heard as she fixes him with her gaze again.

“It is simply easier to tease Barusu, plus you get on my nerves.” She responds. Subaru can only stare at her in shock. Then Garfiel hops out of the carriage and gives me an annoyed glance, which, rude.

“Garf, take the carriage and ground dragon somewhere suitable.” Ram orders.

“Is that any way to treat me? Well, it’s not like I don’t like being treated this way.” He grins, grabbing Otto and ordering him to follow. After they leave, with Otto protesting the whole way, I turn back to Ram.

My feelings looking at her are slightly complicated. I was worried when we couldn’t get in contact. But staring at her like this, I can see her sleeping sister and how we failed to protect her from harm. Not like she even knows she has a sister right now.

“Is there something on my face? Why are you both staring at me like that?” Ram asks, I startle, only to realize Subaru was doing the same thing I was.

“It’s nothing, we were just worried for you,” I tell her.

“Yeah, when you weren’t there when we got back, we got super worried. I mean, we had no way to get in contact with you or the villagers.” Subaru explains.

“Don’t worry, I’m healthy and more beautiful than ever, and the villagers are alright as well,” Ram assures.

“That’s good.” Subaru sighs in relief, and I place a comforting hand on his shoulder. Everyone quickly lapses into silence, and Subaru looks like he’s struggling to say something. But Emilia quickly interrupts.

“This isn’t any place to stand around and talk. How about you show us inside?” Emilia says, turning to Ram, who quickly nods and motions for us to follow. Emilia shoots Subaru a wink, and he nods gratefully in return.

We follow Ram inside a house, and the inside is quaint and homey. Making me feel relaxed, that is, until I see the man occupying the bed. It’s Roswaal, completely bandaged from head to toe, lying in bed inside the main bedroom.

“I was getting ready to punch you the next time we met up…looking at it now, I don’t think that’s possible. What the heck happened?” Subaru questions, staring at Roswaal.

“Now, now, that’s not any way to greeeeeeet someone. You’re supposed to say good to see you again.” Roswaal smiles at us, his usual smile that hides every emotion and is most assuredly fake.

“What could have hurt you like this?” Emilia frets, completely ignoring his previous words.

“Well, I don’t quite know where to staaaaart…” He trails off, thinking.

“Ah, before that, we have an alliance with the Crusch camp, you satisfied?” Subaru asks, giving Roswaal a glare.

“Truly, I am indeed most satisfied. Now, I will start explaining, so how about we get some tea fiiiiiirst. It’s a special blend I made myself.” Roswaal waves at Ram, and she leaves the room, soon returning with some tea. I make a face, tea, right now? But I take a cup anyway, knowing Roswaal, he might not talk to us if we don’t drink it, beside me, I see Subaru and Emilia take a careful sip.

I take my cup and knock it back in one go; it’s steaming hot, but I don’t notice it that much, instead focusing on the strangely cool sensation as it travels down my throat. I give Roswaal a glance as I put the cup back, startled to find him staring at me. I’m instantly uncomfortable and start shifting in place.

“Roswaal, what is going on in this place? I’ve been anxious ever since we entered, and this place doesn’t seem like any Sanctuary I’ve ever heard of before.” Emilia immediately starts with the questioning, grilling Roswaal with a stern tone.

“Hmm, then does it make more sense to call it…The Witch’s Graveyard?” Roswaal says pointedly. A shudder runs through the three of us at the name.

“What do you mean by that?” Emilia demands.

“Exactly what it says in the name, this is where the Witch of Greed, Echidna, met her end long ago. To me, it is worth calling it a Sanctuary.” Roswaal explains. Echidna…Echidna? The name caused a stab of pain to run through my head. Huh? That’s weird, am I suddenly getting a migraine?

“Echidna…” I hear Subaru echo beside me.

“Are you two alright?” Emilia asks, glancing back at me and Subaru.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine, just getting a headache, I think.” I reply, and she nods her head as Subaru gives similar affirmations.

“So, why are you overseeing this kind of place?” Subaru questions Roswaal.

“It’s quite simple, really. The head of each Mather’s family has been looking over this land for generations.” Roswaal explains.

“Ah, then the Mather’s and the Witch of Greed-”

“Echidna.” Roswaal cuts Emilia off, correcting her with only a subtle change of expression. It’s enough to make me flinch, though.

“Please, when speaking of her, please use her name. Witch of Greed sounds so evil, and it’s not very nice.” Roswaal says jovially, showing nothing of his previous anger. The contrast is enough to make me gape at him.

“Ahem, then, the Mather’s family and Echidna have been acquainted for a long time, which is why the Mather’s oversee this place?” Emilia clarifies.

“Yes, though it is a bit of an exaggeration to say we oversee this place. Echidna’s barrier prevents entry to anyone who refuses to follow the forest’s rules. As well as having a certain effect on anyone's blood matches the conditions. I’m sure you experienced it yourself, Miss Emilia.” Roswaal says.

“Right, but you still haven’t explained why you’re injured.” Subaru accuses.

“Haven’t you noticed it? That nobody here has left.” Ram points out.

“Huh? I just thought it was because he got injured, is that not it?” Subaru questions.

“We are all being held here under house arrest. Everyone, including you three who have entered here now.” Roswaal answers simply. That’s when the door behind us opens, and Garfiel walks in, completely unbothered.

“Geez, ya’ll still talking?” He huffs in annoyance.

“That, house arrest…then are Roswaal’s injuries…?” Emilia turns to Garfiel, her question goes unfinished, but it’s clear what she’s implying.

“Nah, he got those ‘cause he was rejected by the trial,” Garfiel states.

“Trial?” We all echo in confusion.

“Those of mixed blood who enter through the barrier are never allowed to leave. It doesn’t mean shit to anyone else, and the only way to break it is for someone of mixed blood to go through the graveyard’s trial, and if anyone who isn’t goes through, well…” He trails off, glancing at Roswaal, the implication is clear.

“Then, doesn’t that mean Emilia can’t leave either?” I question him.

“Right! Doesn’t seem fair, does it.” Garfiel chuckles.

“Look, all the villagers are safe and in one place. They even get three meals a day. But they won’t be able to leave unless you heed our demands, complete the trial, you’re the only one who can. And if you don’t agree, well, I won’t hesitate to use any method to ‘persuade’ you.” Garfiel threatens this with a smile on his face.

Emilia takes a shuddering breath as Garfiel leaves. We’re all just standing there in shock, contemplating the information we just received. That’s when the headache at the back of my mind suddenly brings itself to the front.

“Ack!” I make a small gasp of pain, holding onto my head to try and ease the pain.

“Are you alright?” Emilia and Subaru hurriedly rush over. I spot Ram looking slightly concerned from her place beside Roswaal, but she doesn’t move.

“Yeah, just that headache. I think I might go lie down somewhere, are you guys gonna be alright for a bit?” I ask. They both nod their head and discuss heading to see the villagers.

“Right, just come get me if anything happens then,” I tell them. After that, Ram leads me to a side house with a bed, and I lie down, hoping to get some sleep. The aching in my head only seems to get worse, and then it’s gone, just like that. I sit up in confusion, a headache doesn't usually disappear like that. But then again, I’d rather have no headache than whatever that awful migraine was.

Now that my head is clear, I decide the best thing to do is to catch up with the others. It’s already dark out, and I move toward where the most noise is coming from, finding Subaru and the others standing in front of a large building.

“What’s going on?” I question as I move toward everyone.

“Oh, Emilia’s going to do the trial now, you woke up just in time!” Subaru says excitedly.

“Yeah, my headache just went away, it was kind of weird. Well, good luck on the trial.” I say, turning toward Emilia.

“Mm, thank you.” She replies. With that, I watch as she enters the building, now that I look at it, isn’t it slightly glowing? I wait with the others as the minutes pass, and then, the light suddenly goes out. There are exclamations of shock, and I can only watch as Subaru starts racing forward.

“What are you doing!?” I shout, trying to grab him. My movement is stalled when the building starts subtly glowing again.

“Just wait for me here, I’ll be right out!” He shouts back, running into the building before I can stop him.

“That idiot!” I curse, kicking a stray stone. I turn to Ram and Garfiel, the only others here.

“What do we do? Is that normal?” I question.

“No, but he qualified for it somehow, so we just gotta wait for him to come out,” Garfiel answers, rubbing the back of his head roughly.

“Ugh! Damnit!” I curse again. Being helpless like this only serves to make me more frustrated after that nightmare migraine. But the only thing I can do now is wait and hope everything will be okay.

Chapter Text

The wait is excruciating, humans aren’t allowed in, and I don’t want to push my luck just in case. If I were to head in after Subaru and get injured, it would reflect on both of us, so waiting is the only option. That doesn’t mean I’m not anxious, I spend about half an hour pacing in place to the point where Ram had to tell me to stop.

“Sorry, I’ve just been in a foul mood with everything going on, and that killer headache from earlier.” I sigh, apologizing to her.

“It is alright, but if you continue pacing like that, I will send you back to bed myself.” She threatens. It’s a few more minutes of waiting before something changes, and the glowing light around the building deactivates. Before, it was a bad sign, but considering how much time passed, I can only hope it means they’re coming out.

“Help! Someone, please help!” A shout suddenly draws my attention, and I turn back toward the forest. Someone is running up the trail with a look of panic on her face. It’s a demi-human with rabbit ears and short brown hair wearing a brown and white dress.

“What happened?” Garfiel immediately jumps over to greet her.

“I-it's Old Man Pak! He’s been murdered!” She cries out, the blood inside me instantly freezes, and Garfiel gains a murderous expression.

“What?!” He grits out.

“Nobody knows what happened. We were all gathering for dinner, and we couldn’t find him. I went off to look for him and he was dead, his throat had been slit, it was awful. I ran off to find you immediately.” She falls to her knees and starts to sob as Garfiel holds her. I glance at Ram and find an uneasy expression on her face.

“Can I have some help over here!?” Another voice calls out. I turn back toward the building to find Subaru walking out with Emilia in his arms. He has a tense expression, and the reason behind it is obvious: Emilia is shaking, her eyes wide and terrified as she mumbles something incoherent.

“Let me.” Ram runs up and grabs Emilia from him.

“I’ll take her back to the house. I suggest we all gather to discuss some things.” Ram states, walking off down the trail with Emilia in her arms.

“...I’m going to go check the body, you two go with Ram.” Garfiel orders as he’s helping the girl up. His tone and expression make it difficult to muster up an argument, so we quickly follow behind the pink-haired maid while Garfiel walks in the other direction.

“What happened?” Subaru questions.

“Someone got murdered, one of the villagers living here, I guess,” I tell him as I rub my arms. Something about it makes me uneasy.

There’s definitely something fishy going on.

…Huh? I pause in place, glancing around. Subaru stares at me in confusion.

“Did you hear something?” I ask him.

“No, should I have?” He questions.

“...It’s nothing, probably the wind or something,” I respond. That was weird. When we finally get back to the house, Ram is standing in the dining room, and Otto is sitting at the table. Subaru and I quickly take our seats without a word.

“Miss Emilia is currently sleeping. I’ve burnt some herbs that will make sure she has a peaceful sleep.” Ram reveals.

“Thank you, she seemed really scared.” Subaru muses.

“What exactly happened to you guys?” Otto questions.

“A lot, Emilia went in for the trial when the light suddenly went out. Subaru followed after her, and as we were waiting, someone reported a murder.” I tell him, my expression uneasy.

“It seems the Sanctuary is further from being set free than ever.” Ram states with a slight frown. Just then, the door opens and Garfiel walks in, his face set in an angry scowl. He spots our curious expressions and moves to sit down in a chair with a huff.

“He’s dead alright, this wouldn’t have happened if I wasn’t stuck with you idiots all day.” He growls, slamming his fist down on the table.

“How were we supposed to know this would happen?” I quickly counter. Garfiel looks affronted by that and opens his mouth to argue, but he’s interrupted by Otto.

“We shouldn’t be arguing about this; we should be looking into who did it. Did you find any clues?” Otto looks at Garfiel with a pointed look.

“...Fine, he was killed earlier today, probably right after your meeting with Roswaal. His throat was slit, by either a knife or a dagger, his body was found in the middle of the forest, he said he was going to look for herbs earlier.” Garfiel states the information one by one, counting them off on his fingers. The room grows uncomfortable as he continues talking, and I even catch Subaru shifting in his seat.

I find my own feelings toward the matter to be slightly strange. I feel anxious about what the murder could mean, but I don’t have much sympathy or empathy toward the person who died. Maybe it’s because I didn’t know them or some other reason, either way, I keep a straight face as Garfiel talks.

There’s no reason to feel sympathy for someone just for dying; it’s not like it’s that hard.

I pause for a second. I swear I can hear a voice coming from somewhere. Only it doesn’t sound like anybody in the room. My attention is only diverted for a few seconds, though, as the conversation shifts from the ongoing murder investigation back to Emilia and the barrier.

“Maybe there’s a way to get everyone out of the barrier without completing the trial.” Otto proposes.

“And how exactly are we going to achieve that?” Garfiel scoffs.

“Why don’t we have the people who can pass through the barrier drag those who can’t outside,” Otto suggests.

“Oh, that makes sense, then we could get everyone out.” Subaru agrees, eyes shining.

“If it was that easy, wouldn’t Roswaal and Ram have tried it already?” I counter.

“Indeed, I’d prefer not to become an empty shell of a soul.” A voice chimes in, and we all turn toward the open door to spot a young girl with long pink hair and pointy ears.

Sphinx

I’m hit by a sudden and intense headache and throw my hands up to my head with a hiss. It’s gone the next second, but leaves me blinking my eyes in intense concentration, trying to make sense of exactly what just happened. To the side of me, Ram is burning Subaru with a cup of tea.

“Ah, could ya get me some tea too, Ram,” Garfiel states.

“If you want.” She says.

“I wouldn’t trust her tea if I were you,” I tell him, now recovered from the sudden burst of head pain.

“I simply put some leaves I found lying around in it, enjoy every last drop,” Ram says as she walks off. I keep a curious eye on the girl with pink hair as the table settles again.

“I see you brought some people in from the outside, Young Gar. They are very interesting,” She states as her eyes roam around the table.

“Uhm, who exactly are you?” Otto questions.

“I am Ryuzu Bilma, my duty is to represent the community despite being old and frail.” She introduces.

“Old? Are you one of those types that’s hundreds of years old but looks ten? I knew I’d meet one eventually, but still…the effect is rather creepy in real life.” Subaru mutters to himself. I turn and give him a look.

“How rude, we only just met, and you’re already calling me old. That won’t do, Young Su.” Ryuzu tsks as she moves to take her seat. Subaru just sits there completely astounded.

“What makes you think my idea won’t work?” Otto quickly brings the conversation back on track.

“The barrier repels the soul; if someone of mixed blood tries to exit, the barrier will repel their soul, and the body will go through.” She explains.

“So the barrier is like a giant net that traps souls, and if we try to force someone through, they’ll come out the other side…not there.” Subaru repeats.

“Correct, they will be dead,” Ryuzu replies. The faces around the table turn pale.

“But, don’t you and Garfiel qualify for the trial? Couldn’t you guys free everyone?” Subaru suggests.

“We could take the trial, but we couldn’t free the Sanctuary. It is written in a contract that has been passed down for generations.” Ryuzu quickly shuts the idea down, and the conversation stifles. Ryuzu shifts in her seat as she glances around the table, and I decide now is the time to pipe up.

“This conversation isn’t what you’re here for, though, is it?” I say, inclining my head toward Ryuzu.

“It is not, murder is a serious offense in a peaceful place like this. It has never happened before, and I would like for it to never happen again.” She states.

“Do you have any leads?” Subaru questions.

“The way I see it, there is only one group of people it could be, the ones who happened to come in on the same day as the murder.” She points out. Her tone isn’t accusing, but the meaning behind the words is clear to everyone at the table.

“But we didn’t do it!” Subaru yells out, raising his voice a bit.

“Relax, Young Su. While I am not sure if you did it or not, the evidence suggests it was someone in your group, so while everyone is still on high alert, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if we keep an eye on your group.” Ryuzu responds. Everyone at the table is tense. I can feel my hands clench at the accusation, but there’s nothing we can do for the moment.

“Fine, watch us all you want, we didn’t do it,” I tell her, turning away from the table to look at the door. Ram had returned and placed a cup of tea in front of Garfiel. He takes a sip and immediately makes a face, and with that, the conversation concludes.

Subaru follows behind me toward the house we’re sharing. He has a troubled expression on his face, and I swiftly change my pace so I can walk by his side.

“Is something wrong?” I ask him, and he flinches for a second before he realizes who it is.

“Ah, I was just thinking about…well, before. Mostly about my parents and stuff, do you ever think about your family?” He tilts his head toward me.

“...Not really,” I answer, glancing toward the ground. I feel a bit guilty about it, but it’s the truth.

“My parents weren’t really the best, and I was mostly taking care of myself at the end. I haven’t really thought about them because of that.” I tell him.

“Hm, my parents were the best-I mean!” He cuts off, face flushing with embarrassment, and it pulls a laugh out of me.

“It’s fine, I know what you mean.” I chuckle, gesturing for him to continue.

“Right, they always tried to help and include me in stuff, they never hated me or judged me for what I did. They were doing their best, and what was I doing? I was holding a pity party for myself and being a complete shut-in. You know, I didn’t even get to say goodbye to my mom before we got transported here. I’m really, the absolute worst…” His voice cracks, and he starts breaking down in tears.

I pull him into a fierce hug as he cries into my shoulder. We stand there for a few minutes as he calms down, and I simply rub circles on his back as he cries.

“Geez, it seems like you’re always doing this for me.” He sniffles.

“You’ve done the same for me, it’s not a big deal,” I reply.

“I just hope that they’re doing well. I can’t imagine how much it must’ve hurt them when I didn’t come home.” He states, his eyes filled with pain.

“Hey, it might not even work that way. Maybe our world is paused while we’re here, who knows? We have to focus on the here and now. Wherever your parents are, I’m sure they’re doing alright.” The words feel like a cheap lie on my tongue, but they do the trick, and Subaru marginally cheers up, enough for us to finally make it inside our house. I went to sleep that night with an anxious feeling in my gut.

The next day is decently tense. Garfiel is around here and there, always glaring at us with a decent amount of suspicion. We barely see any of the residents of the Sanctuary, and the ones we do see turn pale and head the other direction. After that, I mostly decided to stay in the area where our houses are.

Currently, I’m silently doing laundry with Ram. Though I’m tense, this silence is more companionable and I’m able to relax slightly, that is, until Ram starts talking.

“Not all the residents are in favor of setting the Sanctuary free.” She states, making me pause for a second to consider her words.

“And why exactly are you telling me this?” I ask her. She gives me a side eye as I continue to do the laundry.

“Only the heavy-handed people like Garf, led by Miss Ryuzu, are pushing for freedom.” She continues.

“Again, why are you telling this to me?” I ask again.

“Because it’s important, there’s a conservative faction that doesn’t want to interact with outsiders. With this murder…someone could be framing us. And besides, don’t you think it’s suspicious that Frederica gave Miss Emilia that necklace? Something is going on here.” She explains.

“I don’t doubt that, but you’re never usually this forthcoming with information. What’s the special occasion?” I turn toward her as I say this. She’s giving me an annoyed look as she continues to do laundry.

“I’m just…worried. Things appear to have gotten a bit out of hand.” She answers, “Just be careful.” She adds on as she finishes her task, walking away from the drying racks. The entire conversation makes me frown.

This place is confusing. Everything was fine before we came here, but now it feels like everything has just gone completely wrong. Not only that, but it feels like there’s an information gap. The thought makes me sigh in annoyance.

Later that night, we’re situated around the building where Emilia is currently doing her trial. There are more people this time in the hope that more support could help her get through it more easily. Though it could also be Ryuzu and Garfiel trying to get everyone together to watch over us.

I’m sitting down on the stairs, listening to Garfiel and Subaru converse. There’s not much to do while we wait, so I just draw circles in the ground with my finger as a way to pass the time.

This is so boring, can’t we do something fun?

…Again, another voice. I still can’t locate where it’s coming from, so I just ignore it. Instead, turning around to face the building, right then, the light shuts off, and Emilia walks out, sobbing. Subaru rushes up to her as I linger behind. I don’t really know how to comfort her, so I leave it to Subaru.

After that, we bring Emilia back, and Ram informs Subaru and me that Roswaal wants to have a conversation with us. Personally, I don’t really want to talk to him right at this moment, though, it’s not like I have much choice. So I simply follow Subaru and Ram into the room.

Ah, so that bastard’s still alive

My head starts aching upon seeing him lying in the bed, but I can see him studying me curiously, so I simply shake it off and sit down by the bed next to Subaru.

“So? What did you want to talk to us about?” Subaru asks.

“Oh, this and thaaaaaat.” Roswaal replies.

“Cut the crap, just tell us.” I scoff.

“Weeeeeell, if you put it that way. I just wanted to tell you two to continue supporting Emilia, we are a team after alllllll.” Roswaal smiles.

“Are you kidding me? Stop being so contrary.” Subaru grits out, his hands clenched.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you meeeeean.” Roswaal tilts his head.

“You knew, you knew what would happen to Emilia once you announced she was participating in the Royal Selection. But you didn’t do anything, you intentionally hid information from Emilia and traveled all over to talk to different people when she was in the most danger. If you hadn’t done that, then maybe everything wouldn’t have-” Subaru cuts himself off, breath heaving.

“Ah, but you two performed splendidly in my abseeeeeence.” Roswaal smirks.

“Shut the fuck up!” I shout, standing up and moving toward Roswaal, but I’m stopped by Ram, who puts herself between us.

“Let me go,” I tell her.

“No, I can’t let you hurt Lord Roswaal.” She states.

“Krgh! Fine, but I’ll have you know he just said something reeeeeally insulting, so you better watch your words from now on.” I threatened, giving him a pointed look. That man makes my blood boil, he was fine with leaving Ram and Emilia behind to die, he was fine making two inexperienced people figure out how to deal with it on our own, and he was fine with leading me straight to my death.

The last thought makes me pause…that wasn’t my thought, was it? I mean, it’s true he led me to my death if he knew what would happen. But it didn’t feel like my thought. The conversation continues around me as Subaru berates Roswaal in my absence.

“Relax, there is a simple reason as to why I concealed information from Miss Emilia and why I wasn’t present when the Witch’s Cult attacked…” Roswaal turns to watch us closely as he says his next words, “To ensure I never dealt with the Witch’s Cult personally, I led these events to happen.”

He says it like it’s common knowledge, like it’s something anyone would’ve done. All the pain and suffering we went through back there, Rem’s continued sleep. All of that was personally led by this man.

“It worked, did it not? If I were there, all the credit would’ve gone to me, but now the people of Arlam village respect Miss Emilia. It would not have turned out this way if I had done all the work.” Roswaal explains.

“Ha…hahahaha, of course, of course…you were always this kind of person, weren’t you?” The condescending words come out of my mouth before I can stop them. I can only stand there awkwardly afterward while Roswaal watches me eerily because, well, I didn’t mean to say that. I feel slightly sick now, but the strange moment is soon covered up by Subaru.

“It only looks good in hindsight! You don’t fucking understand, people died because of that!” Subaru shouts, outraged.

“I give my condolences to those who died, but compared to what we won, the consequences seem worth it. Or would you like an apology instead?” Roswaal questions.

“No, no way, you can’t be fucking serious! What would’ve happened if it all went wrong, what if we left Emilia behind?!” I ask, my face twisted in shock and rage.

“You wouldn’t have, I had faith in you two,” Roswaal answers easily.

“What?” Subaru breathes out, shocked.

“I had faith you would continue to help Emilia, I had faith you would make an alliance with Miss Crusch, I had faith you’d put your lives on the line to eliminate the Witch’s Cult and protect the village.” He rants.

“How, what do you know about us, how could you know we’d do any of those things? I was useless back then, how could you know I’d do that?!” Subaru demands, his face twisting with rage.

“I think our conversation is over,” Roswaal states, and it’s as easy as that. Ram leads us out of the room, and I find myself walking back toward our house.

“That guy is fucking crazy.” Subaru curses.

“I-”

He’s always been like that, a bitch to the very end, willing to manipulate people for the best outcome.

I completely freeze in place. I had been ignoring it earlier, but it is now distressingly clear. These voices weren’t coming from an outside source. They were thoughts, I was hearing thoughts that weren’t my own. Oh great, that’s exactly what I need right now.

“Are you alright?” Subaru asks when I don’t give an immediate answer.

“Yeah, yeah, just tired. I think I’m going to head straight to bed.” I tell him, walking ahead into the house. My sleep that night is fitful at best.

The next two days pass by in a haze. Most of it is Subaru trying to convince Garfiel to let us and the villagers out of the Sanctuary, because as long as Emilia is still here, there’s no way we would actually leave for good.

Eventually, we manage to get through to him, and now everyone is packing up the carriages to go home. I haven’t heard any voices since that night with Roswaal, and I’ve avoided him like the plague. So now, I’m standing with the others, letting my thoughts drift as we get ready to leave.

“Wait, don’t go yet.” A voice calls out. It’s Garfiel, he’s pushing through and making his way toward us, a wary expression on his face.

“What’s up?” Subaru asks.

“Look, I didn’t want to have to do this, but I’ve got good enough reason to believe that your friend might be the one who murdered Old Man Pak,” Garfiel states, pointing over his shoulder toward me.

“...What?” Everyone glances toward me, confused.

“I didn’t murder anyone,” I tell him.

“Well, a lot of the evidence points toward you as our main suspect, so we’re just gonna detain you and ask you some questions.” Garfiel shrugs.

“What? What evidence?” Subaru puts a hand on Garfiel’s shoulder to stop him from walking toward me.

“Well, he was the only one not with the group at the time the murder happened, and the murder weapon just so happens to fit his weapons. It’s not confirmed, but we feel safer detaining ya for the time being.” Garfiel shrugs off Subaru’s hand and walks up to me.

“You wanna do this the easy way or the hard way?” He threatens, and the ridiculousness of the line almost makes me forget to take it seriously.

“Erik…” Emilia calls out to me softly.

“It’s fine, I’ll go with him. Just make sure you come back for me and Emilia, alright?” I try to joke around the situation. It relaxes some of the tension, but as Garfiel hands me away to one of the residents, I can’t help the outrage that swirls in my gut.

My hands are tied, and my daggers are taken as I’m brought to a room underground. It was fashioned up like a jail cell, and I was thrown roughly onto the floor. I try to rub the spot where it hurts, but with my hands tied up, the best I can manage is flailing them around a bit.

“Hey, couldn’t you go a bit easier on me, innocent until proven guilty!” I shout at the guy as he locks the door. I scoot back the wall and groan in frustration. This is not how I wanted to be spending my day.

Time passes, I don’t know how much, but it must be near dinner because my stomach has started rumbling. That’s when I hear footsteps from outside the door and a set of keys jangling as they’re placed in the lock. I assume it’s Garfiel or Ryuzu here to question me, but instead, the person who opens the door is the rabbit girl from the first night.

“Huh? Are you the one they chose to question me?” I ask her as she shuts the door behind her.

“Hm, not really. I mean, that’s what I told them, but that’s not what I’m here for. My name is Renee, nice to meet you.” She introduces, holding her hand out. She pointedly glances down at my hands before letting a small smirk grace her face.

“If you’re not here for questioning, then what are you here for?” I ask her, hoping that the answer is to set me free.

“Ah, I just wanted to have a conversation. It must hurt to be placed in jail because of something you didn’t do.” She pouts.

“Uhm?” I have a bad feeling in my stomach as she draws closer to me.

“I mean, it must be even worse to know that your life and death are in the hands of one questioner. I could just walk out there and say you confessed, and bam! Tomorrow morning you’re without a head.” She makes a slicing motion with her hand as she crouches before me.

“You…were you the one who-”

“Ah! You finally figured it out, good job.” She claps her hands together slowly.

“Look, I’ll keep it honest with you. I’m a bit frustrated because I was called out here months ago so I wouldn’t look suspicious, but that left me stuck in one place. So I came here to relieve a little stress before you die.” She smiles as she reaches behind her back, grabbing a knife. The sight makes my breath shudder.

My feet aren’t tied, so I move to stand up, but she has the blade in my shoulder before I could even think to dodge.

“Argh!” I cry out in pain as she digs it in further, a bit of blood pools out as the knife goes out the other side of my shoulder.

“Don’t try to run away now, it’s too late for that, we’re going to have a niiiice long session, and once we’re done, I get to see your head roll. Isn’t that fun?” She chuckles, grabbing onto my hair and pulling my head up and down as I gasp out in pain.

I start to shiver involuntarily as she slowly removes the knife. Seriously, why did this have to happen again? What’s causing it this time? What reason is there for my death? I flinch backward as she moves to stab me again, but my eyes flick open when I don’t feel the knife entering my skin.

“Ah, seems I was too late, looks like she got to him already.” She sighs in disappointment. My movement feels sluggish as I try to understand what she’s talking about. That’s when I notice my guts falling out of my body in front of me.

“H-huh?” I manage to choke out. She lets go of my hair, and my body swings to the side, my head hitting the ground. That’s when the pain registers, a burning fire in my gut as the rest of my body feels icy cold. I want to scream, but my mind is still confused as to how this even happened. And with that, my vision goes dark.

Chapter Text

When I come back to consciousness, it takes all I have not to pass out or throw up where I stand. My hands are shaking as I curl my arms around my abdomen and try to keep myself from heaving. Ram gives me a glance, but doesn’t say anything as a shout comes from behind. I instinctively freeze when I turn around to see her.

I don’t know how I didn’t notice it sooner, the fake tears and panic in her voice. The lack of any exhaustion despite having apparently run a decent way. The way her eyes shift over to me as she rambles to Garfiel, who's comforting her. I can’t feel anything but disgust when I stare at her. The only other person who gave me such an…unclean….feeling was Elsa. Just the thought makes me shiver.

As I’m glaring at her, she shifts her eyes over and they meet mine. It was a subtle thing, noticing her demeanor change. It was only a split second, but I could swear I saw her taken aback before a small smirk appeared. And then she appeared terrified, she started shaking even harder as tears poured out.

“I-it was him! I saw him leaving the area when I went to go find Old Man Pak! I know it was him!” Renee cries out, pointing her finger in my direction and burying herself into Garfiel’s chest. I feel my blood run cold as Garfiel turns his glare to me. This didn’t happen before, why did it…there’s no way. There’s no way that one glare was enough for her to falsely accuse me like that.

“Hey! Is what she sayin’ true? Did you murder him?” Garfiel is deadly calm as he questions me, which somehow makes everything more terrifying.

“What? No! She’s lying. Why would I murder someone?” I shoot back.

“Maybe you hate demi-humans and saw this as your chance, or maybe you’re just a psycho; we won’t know until we get to questioning.” Garfiel releases Renee before moving toward me, fists clenched.

“Garf, calm down. Tensions are high right now, it is best to conduct this in a polite manner so as not to cause a fuss.” Ram states, stepping between us.

“Guys? What’s going on?” Emilia is leaning on Subaru, but awake, as she exits the building. Subaru looks just as confused at the tense situation, but I ignore his curious look as I grit my teeth.

“Look, I didn’t do it, but if you really want to question me, can we do it tomorrow? I’m sure everyone is exhausted and we all have a lot to talk about, so let’s just head back.” I suggest not waiting for an answer before walking back toward Roswaal’s house.

“Ah, wait up!” A voice calls from behind me. It’s Subaru, because who else would it be? He’s jogging to catch up to me and places a hand on my shoulder when he reaches me.

“W-what happened…uhm, on your end?” He asks, his eyes shifting around to make sure nobody else can hear us.

“Well, I managed to find out who the actual murderer was…the hard way.” I sigh, rubbing my arms as we walk.

“...Oh.” Subaru replies lamely, “I mean, I’m sorry. I went to the mansion, but nobody was there, except somebody was there, and well…I got killed.” He explains.

“I’m just asking for one fucking week where we don’t have to deal with this shit,” I growl.

“Yeah, I get it. So who is it? Who murdered that guy?” Subaru questions. I turn around, Ram is following behind us while holding onto Emilia. Garfiel and Renee are nowhere in sight.

“It was that girl, the one who reported the murder. They locked me in some fucking prison room, and she stabbed me in the shoulder. Kept talking about how she was going to torture me and stuff. And then my guts were on the floor.” I see Subaru wince as I say that, moving his hands up toward his stomach.

“Fuck, this isn’t good. That means there’s stuff going on both here and at the mansion. Damn it.” He curses under his breath.

“It gets worse, I just got accused of murder again, so I’m already under suspicion,” I tell him.

“Seriously? But it wasn’t like that last time…” He trails off as I fix him with a look.

“That’s what I thought, too, but I think it was because I glared at her. I don’t know, this is all so frustrating. We should just try and figure out what’s going on first.” I groan, running my fingers through my hair.

The atmosphere around the table was tense, to say the least. Nobody was talking, Garfiel was glaring daggers at me, Emilia looked uncomfortable, I was pissed, Subaru looked worried, Ryuzu seemed interested, and Otto was confused. It wasn’t a good combination, especially when those…thoughts…were back.

You should’ve just killed the bitch, then you wouldn’t have to deal with this.

Yeah, it would’ve solved everything right then and there.

The voices aren’t mine, and the things they’re saying don’t make any fucking sense. So, like anybody would, I ignore them. And I shall continue to ignore them for however long they are going to be there.

“So, are we going to talk about it? Because in my eyes, you definitely murdered Old Man Pak, so give me one good reason why we shouldn’t lock you up right now?” Garfiel questions, his eyes never moving away from me.

“It wasn’t me, I know a lot of evidence points to me doing it, but I’m being framed. What reason would I have to murder someone? I didn’t even know what this place was until, like, a day ago!” I respond, my face turning red from anger.

“You bastard! Are you telling me the people I protect would lie to me about this? That doesn’t make any sense!” Garfiel shouts back.

“Now, now, I think everyone needs to calm down. Garfiel, your concerns are valid, but we know Erik and he would never do something like this, right, Ram?” Emilia turns to the pink-haired maid.

“Indeed, I do not think he is the kind of person to do something like this.” Ram agrees. I turn to Garfiel with a smug smirk. He grits his teeth and glares, but doesn’t do much else.

“I think, maybe we should talk about the trial,” Emilia says after a beat, trying to turn the conversation in a more productive direction.

“Yeah, that would probably be better for now, it’s about facing your past, right?” Subaru jumps in, sweating slightly as he tries to help Emilia.

“Huh? How do you know about the trial?” Garfiel shifts his attention to Subaru, who flinches under his glare.

“Uh, well, that’s because I qualified for it…and I passed it as well.” He explains.

“Huh!?” The entire room explodes with interest.

“Hm, if this isn’t a joke, that is quite the achievement. If he passed, then we can remove the barrier, Garf, how does it look?” Ram questions.

“No changes.” He proclaims.

“Ah, then you lied, drop dead.” She tells Subaru.

“Seriously, so harsh.” He laughs awkwardly. Garfiel is staring at him with a confused look, and Emilia looks slightly anxious. At least most of the attention was off me now, though this topic didn’t feel comfortable either.

“If that’s true, then how…I mean, what did you see?” Emilia questions, placing a trembling hand on her chest.

“It wasn’t like I saw, it was more of a feeling, a realization. It seems there are more of them, too, a total of three, I think.” Subaru answers.

“Ah…so two more then.” Emilia looks down as she says this. Subaru looks conflicted at this, his gaze going around the table before finally resting on me.

“Look, I have a suggestion, Emilia. Maybe I could do the trial in your place? Look, things are getting kind of tense here, and maybe it would be faster if I did them, or we both did them? I don’t know…besides, it looks like it’s giving you pain.” Subaru explains gently. Emilia looks shocked and… disappointed.

“Hah!? Where do ya get off talkin’ like that with no input from others? I want the princess here, and only the princess, to be the one clearin’ the trial. And if anyone else were to do it, the last person I would want it to be is you.” Garfiel cuts in.

“Huh? Wait, wait, wait-” Subaru tries to speak but is cut off once again.

“Haha, did you seriously think I would take your side for this? How stupid can you be?” Garfiel taunts.

“No, I just-”

“Subaru, do you not trust me? Did you see me failing and think I couldn’t do it? If I leave everything up to you and don’t fight my own battles, then am I really fit to even be in the Royal Selection?” Emilia questions, glaring at him.

“That’s not what I meant, I just-”

“We should stop talking about this. Let’s end the discussion here. We will continue it tomorrow.” Ram says decisively. I take in a short gasp of air as everyone turns toward the maid. People start to file out of the house one after the other, leaving only Subaru and me in the end.

“W-we should probably go.” I saw, awkwardly clearing my throat.

“Yeah.” Subaru sighs. This whole situation just sucks. Maybe I should’ve said something, but not being able to mention the whole getting murdered part really makes it hard. There wasn’t anything I could’ve reasonably done that wouldn’t bring the attention back to me and make the entire point of him speaking up completely moot.

When we step outside, Garfiel and Ryuzu are just about to walk away, until Subaru reaches out to stop them.

“Ah, wait, I had a question. Why were you so opposed to what I suggested?” Subaru questions. The way he says it makes me think he was told something in the last loop.

“Because-”

“Because it is what Young Ros wants. He believes that Miss Emilia should be the one to liberate the Sanctuary.” Ryuzu explains.

“Sooooo, you guys back him on that?” I ask them, maybe I shouldn’t have said anything, though, because Garfiel fixes me with an intense glare.

“Ugh, look, I hate that son of a bitch just as much as you guys, but…you get it! Don’t you?” He shouts.

“I guess, even if the barrier disappeared, it would still be part of his domain,” Subaru responds.

“Young Ros oversees this place; nobody wants to lose their position by disobeying his will. I hope you and the others know I’m sorry.” Ryuzu explains.

“Geez, it’s getting harder and harder to trust that guy.” Subaru muses.

“You shouldn’t trust him at all, that guy has definitely done worse stuff, I mean, once he even-” I cut off, where was I going with that? The story was on the tip of my tongue, but it didn’t feel like mine.

“Uhm… never mind,” I say instead.

“Anyway, it’s gotta be the princess who goes through the trial, I’m not lettin’ you do it,” Garfiel states before walking off.

“Alright, we need to talk about what happened at the mansion,” Subaru says after a beat of silence.

“Didn’t you tell me most of it?” I ask him.

“Yeah, but not all. I left out a pretty important detail.” This causes me to raise my eyebrow, “Elsa is back.” He finishes with a wince.

“Fuck, that crazy bitch is back?!” I curse.

“Yeah, I have a feeling Frederica might be up to something as well. Whatever it is, I need to get back as soon as possible.” Subaru states gravely.

“I can stay here and try to make sure things go well, but you know, I might just get hauled off and locked up.” I shrug.

“Hm, I’m going to go talk to Roswaal about some stuff, you wanna come with?” Subaru offers.

“Not really, that guy creeps me out, so I think I’m just going to turn in early,” I tell him. Subaru nods, and we say our goodbyes.

The next morning has him heading out early to the mansion with Ram. It’s a bit uncomfortable to know we’re going to be apart for a while. Not only that, but last time this happened, we died. It doesn’t help that I’m not as close with the people left here. The only ones I ever really talked to were Subaru and Ram.

But still, maybe this could be a chance to figure out what was going on over on this side of things. If I could get to the bottom of why Renee was targeting me, all while avoiding Roswaal and helping Emilia, maybe we could get out of this with no other deaths. One could hope.

Chapter Text

As I watch Ram and Subaru head off on Patrasche, I have the distinct feeling that someone is glaring at me. I turn to the only other person in the area, Garfiel.

“What are you looking at?” I shoot him back a glare. I’m not some pushover who’s just going to take whatever is thrown at me.

“If you think I’m just gonna let you walk free, you must be outta yer damn mind,” Garfiel states.

“And if you think I did it without getting all the evidence, then you’re an idiot. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you I didn’t do it. It makes no sense for me to do it! I have no motive, and it would actively harm my goals to commit murder here. I’m being set up.” I stalk closer to him as I talk, sticking my finger in his face as he gnashes his teeth.

“Then prove it!” He growls, smacking my finger away from his face.

“I will, but if you try to arrest me without solid proof, I won’t go down easy.” I threaten, turning around and stalking back toward the village. I can feel Garfiel glare at me as I walk away, anger twists in my stomach, and the unfairness of the situation makes me huff out a sigh.

“Erik, hey!” When I step back into the village, Emilia is waving me over, and I tentatively take a few steps toward her. I consider Emilia a friend, and we’ve definitely hung out a few times. But compared to Subaru, I don’t know her as well as I could’ve. It makes a tight coil of guilt pang through my chest.

I’ve never been the most social person, but I was amazed that I even became Ram’s friend when I usually stay closed off. My anti-social behavior is something I know I have…but it’s not so easy to correct. It’s not like I can just wave my hand and pretend to enjoy surrounding myself with others, pretend that I don’t close myself off at any sign of conflict, and drift away at a perceived slight.

I can’t help but think every single person is better than me fundamentally. I may appear strong, but a facade like that can only go so far. I can already feel it weighing on me in the time I’ve been in this world; it’s only so long before I start disappointing others. Though it makes me think of my relationship with Subaru.

I’ve been unconsciously putting our friendship into a completely different category. I don’t know how to describe it, maybe it’s because our lives are so similar, or we trauma-bonded or whatever, but it’s definitely ‘different’ than any friendship I’ve had before. Well, except for maybe…but I don’t like to think about that.

“Hey, you doing alright?” I ask, I hadn’t seen her since last night, and the perceived betrayal from Subaru must’ve hurt her.

“Ah, yeah, I’ve done better, but as long as I keep a positive attitude, I’m sure I can make it through.” She smiles.

“You know…Subaru didn’t mean it like that. I don’t want to make any excuses for him while he’s not here, but he’s worried about you. He didn’t do it because he doesn’t trust you.” I tell her. Her expression falters for a second before returning to a small smile.

“I know, but still, it feels like he doesn’t think before he says things sometimes.” She muses.

“Haha, he probably doesn’t.” I chuckle.

“Did you want to take a small walk with me?” She offers shyly.

“Sure, I’m not doing much right now,” I answer, following behind as she starts to walk through the village. We talk about a few mundane things, but I start to feel uncomfortable as we walk. A majority of the villagers have woken up and have taken to glaring at me suspiciously as I walk by.

“Is everything okay with you?” Emilia asks worriedly.

“Uh, yeah. Kind of, this whole situation is just making me kind of tense.” I reveal, crossing my arms for comfort as we pass by another group of people.

“If it makes you feel any better, I totally don’t believe that you did it.” Emilia stops in place to face me, enthusiastically placing her hands on my shoulders. I feel my chest warm at the statement.

“It doesn’t help anything, but yeah, that makes me feel a bit better.” I smile. Emilia pauses for a second before realizing that she grabbed onto me with no warning and hastily apologizes, letting go with a red face.

“It’s alright, I didn’t mind too much.” I laugh. Though physical contact can make me uncomfortable, it’s really only when it’s a stranger. The rest of our walk is spent in comfortable silence as we make our way back to the house Emilia is staying in. When we arrive, she takes a seat on the front steps and pats the spot next to her. I hesitantly take a seat.

“Do you…think I can pass the trial?” Emilia questions after a short pause. She looks like she regrets even bringing the topic up, but the question lingers in the air as I think about it for a moment.

“Right now…no, probably not.” I catch her flinch out of the corner of my vision, and I hurriedly say the next part of my sentence, “But that doesn’t mean you can’t. What I mean is, right now, you’re terrified of whatever happened in there, you aren’t ready to face it at all, and if you keep trying, it will probably make things worse.” I explain.

“Is there any way to fix that?” She asks.

“I have no clue, I don’t know what you saw in there, and I can’t say that I’m all that good about confronting my past either.” I rub my head awkwardly at the negative answer.

“I want to confront whatever it is I saw…but the problem is, I can’t remember. I don’t remember anything about what happened to me as a kid. All I know is that every time I think about it, I start shaking as an uncontrollable fear runs through me.” She states, gritting her teeth as a shiver courses through her body.

“It’ll be okay, I’m sure we can figure something out, and I know you’ll be able to get through it. It’s really unfair of them to spring this on you before you’re ready.” I comfort, bringing my arm around her shoulder hesitantly. I give her a small squeeze as she leans into the touch.

“But…if it wasn’t forced on me, would I ever have the will to get through it? Maybe this is what’s best for me to be a good leader in the future.” She muses.

“Maybe, I wouldn’t have any idea, I put all the trauma from my past in a small little box in my brain and spend the rest of the time ignoring it.” I chuckle slightly at the dark joke, but upon meeting Emilia’s worried gaze, I choke up, forgetting that dark humor doesn’t quite work on some people.

“How about…you tell me about your past, maybe it’ll make you feel better?” She requests after a beat. I feel my breath hitch in my chest at the suggestion. I could, it would be so easy to do it, just let it all out. But then, then, then, then, then, then, what if? What if I die again?

What if she doesn’t understand or blames me?

What if I ruin one of the only relationships I’ve managed to make?

The voices that have been talking in my head combine with my own. I grit my teeth against the headache and pull my arm away from Emilia to brace it against my head.

“I-I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I reply.

“Oh, okay.” She glances down, clear guilt smeared over her face.

“Sorry, but I have a headache, and I have to do some investigation to clear my name, so I’m going to head off now.” I turn away from her, standing up quickly to try and avoid looking at her face.

“Alright, I’ll see you later.” She says.

“See you later.” I parrot, stalking off in a random direction. I can feel my breath start to pick up. I pinch the skin of my arm to try and offset the sudden panic attack, seriously, getting this worked up over a stupid question. When I calm down enough to look around, I find myself lost in the middle of the forest.

“Ugh, fucking great.” I curse, leaning against a tree and slowly sliding down, placing my head on my knees. Hot tears slide down my cheeks uncontrollably, and my breathing picks up again as I try to force my brain to think of anything else; the voices aren’t helping either.

What, did you want to be alone again? Nobody to talk to as you wander through warzone after warzone?

Or did you want to throw away your connections again?

“Just shut up, who even are you!” I shout, clawing at my aching head.

“Geez, isn’t this pathetic?” A grating voice greets.

“...I’m not in the mood, go away,” I tell the voice.

“Finally coming to terms with the fact that you murdered someone?” The voice continues.

“I said, go away!” I shout, glancing up and trying to look tough, but it’s ruined by the sob that escapes my lips and the pool of tears that continues to stream down my face.

“...Seriously, what happened?” Garfiel sighs, sitting down across from me, not leaving like he’s supposed to.

“Do you think I want to talk about this with somebody who hates me and actively thinks I committed murder?” I question roughly.

“Oi! You were the one who said you didn’t do it. Besides, I’m not a monster. If someone is doing this badly in the middle of my forest, I’m going to check it out, I’m the Sanctuary’s protector, after all.” He states proudly.

I consider it for a moment, should I be telling him my troubles for him to use against me? No, that’s a horrible idea, but at the same time, I feel the ache of not having Subaru by my side. Nobody else here is a good option. I would rather die than talk to Roswaal. I left because I freaked out on Emilia, and I don’t know Otto well enough. Maybe I could bottle it up?

But…it wasn’t like I was ever going to see Garfiel again after this…and, if we lopped again, he wouldn’t remember.

“...I don’t know, I guess everything is just hitting me at once. I’m thinking about stuff I haven’t thought about in years, I miss my friend, I’ve been accused of murder, I’m terrified of dying, and I have these voices in my head that won’t shut the fuck up and keep giving me a headache.” I let the words pour out of me as I wipe away my tears in frustration.

“Well, that sounds like a lot. Look, I’m not good at all this emotional stuff, and I’m not really in the mood to try for you, but uh, you can do this?” Garfiel says, patting me on the shoulder awkwardly. It’s enough to make me burst out laughing.

“Hahahaha, man, you’re seriously bad at this.” I double over on myself laughing.

“Well, nice to see that as soon as I try to be nice to someone, they laugh at me, who would’ve figured.” He spits.

“Sorry, sorry, but that did make me feel a bit better. Thanks.” I tell him sincerely. He pauses for a second, glancing at me from the corner of his eye as he watches the forest around us.

“Right, ahem, well, it’s getting late. So if you want to present whatever evidence you got during the day, now is the best time, while I’m still in a good mood.” Garfiel states. I glance around in confusion and find that the sun is about to set. When did it get this late? And, shit, I didn’t get to look around for any evidence at all. Whatever, I’m sure I could weave something together.

“Fine, but you have to listen to me say everything before denying what I say,” I tell him with a glower.

“Whatever.” He waves me off.

“Right, the one who did this is the same girl who told you about the murder, Renee.” I can see him gearing up to say or shout something, but I fix him with another glare, and he shuts up.

“I don’t know the exact reason she did it other than to frame me. But think about it, she came later than most of the other demi-humans. She was the one to find and report the body, and she was the one who said I did it. Everything leads back to her.” I explain.

“But why would she frame you? Have you met her before?” Garfiel questions. His question makes me pause with a frown.

“I don’t think so, I don’t know why she wants to frame me, but I’m sure we could figure it out if we interrogate her.” I insist.

“...I guess, I see the point of yer reasonin’, but it’s almost exactly the same as hers. Urgggh, this is so difficult! Maybe I should’ve asked Granny for help.” He sighs.

“Maybe if you investigate where she lives, it would give you a clue, like a knife or something, I don’t know. I’m not any good at this either.” I admit.

“Right, I guess I’ll go do that, yer not off the hook yet…but ya ain’t as bad as I thought. You should hurry back, though, it’s gettin’ dark.” Garfiel suggests standing up.

“Yeah.” I agree. I wiped down my face and stood up.

“If I find somethin’, you’ll be the first to know.” He says, turning around and running off before I could even say goodbye.

“...Okay then, that was weird,” I mumble, slapping my cheeks to recover. Walking through the forest as the sun set behind me was a novel experience. It almost felt peaceful, if it wasn’t for the constant reminders that I’m still believed to have murdered someone.

Right as I reach the edge of the village, I feel a sharp pain in my back. I reach backward and feel a familiar sticky sensation of blood. My breath picks up again, but I quickly push it down. When no other injuries present themselves, I stride forward into the village, hoping to find some bandages. Instead, I’m greeted by the sight of a crowd of villagers standing in front of me.

“What…?” I question, glancing out.

“We all appreciate Garfiel and the work he’s done for the Sanctuary, but he’s taking too long on this case. A murderer like you can’t be allowed to live.” One of the villagers states.

“Uhm, what?” I ask again, taking a step backward.

“Do you not get what’s going on? We’re punishing you for murdering someone dear to our hearts.” A woman sobs.

“Hang on, I didn’t do it. You can ask Garfiel, he’s investigating something right now!” I try to reason.

“He’s lying, I saw him murder Old Man Pak! I can’t stand watching him waltz around free like that!” A voice cries out. My head instinctively whips around to spot…her. The sight of her shaking and crying makes me feel sick to my stomach. I swivel my head around, looking for an exit.

All it takes is one step back.

“He’s trying to run, get him!” I’m immediately surrounded on all sides, arms grab onto my body, and I’m twisted around and pushed roughly onto the ground. My knees ache in pain, and my arms strain against their twisted position. My thoughts start running a mile a minute. Is there any way to get out of this? I could use my strength to push them away, but there are so many of them, I’d have to fight my way out, and then I really would become a murderer.

“Stop! Let me go!” I shout, struggling desperately. I feel another sharp pain in my back and make a noise of pain.

“Drag him to the clearing; we don’t want to dirty our village.” Someone suggests. I hear a murmur of approval before I start getting dragged across the ground.

“Wait, stop, stop it!” I cry out hysterically. But before I can continue, I feel a sharp pain in my head, and my vision goes cloudy. I must’ve passed out for a minute because when my vision clears, I’m in the same position, but instead of the village, I’m kneeling before the trial building,

“Please, don’t do this, you have the wrong person, I’m innocent!” I beg, trying to thrash around as the arms hold me down.

“There’s no use; all the evidence points to you.” Someone states.

“Really, did you think you’d get away with it?” Someone asks, grabbing my hair. It’s Renee, she yanks up harshly, forcing me to look her in the eyes as she glares down at me.

“Good riddance, filth like you should just die already.” She huffs, throwing my head down and kicking me in the face. I feel my nose crack in on itself. Blood starts leaking down my face, and a coppery taste fills my mouth.

“Bring the sword over!” Someone yells. I catch it moving through the crowd, getting passed from person to person before it lands in somebody's hands. Somebody who is standing right above. I feel them place the blade against my neck, bring it up and down as if practicing the motion. The fact only truly hits me there: I’m going to be executed.

“No, no, let me go, let me fucking go!” I couldn't care less about what happens to these people now. I bring forth my mana, letting it circulate through my body, but before I have the chance to break out, someone cracks their foot down on my head, and I’m forced into the ground face-first. My already broken nose cries out in pain once again.

“He’s trying to escape, do it quickly!” Renee shouts. I’m sure it’s her foot that’s forcing my head into the dirt. I wiggle my face to the side, enough to see and breathe. I spot her there, looking down upon me with a smirk.

“Oi! What’s going on here?! Stop!” I see Garfiel at the edge of the clearing, running toward me. But it’s too late, the sword rushes down, and I feel it connect with my neck. It’s not clean, it barely cleaves through half of the bone, and the person holding it chops again and again as I scream in pain.

Eventually, it slices all the way through, but I’m somehow still conscious. Agonizingly, for a few seconds, I watch as Garfiel reaches the area and stops next to my body as the people around me either cheer or whisper to each other in distaste.

“I'm sorry…’m sorry.” I hear Garfiel apologize as he kneels down next to my body. The last thing I see is the smirk on her face as she picks up my head before throwing it down on the ground and walking away. Then, it’s darkness.

Chapter Text

Why? Why why why why why why why why why! That’s the only thought that rings through my consciousness as I blink my eyes open. This time, I can’t help the heave of my stomach as I double over and start heaving onto the ground. I feel a comforting hand on my back and turn slightly to find Ram rubbing circles on it. Garfiel is standing a distance away, a suspicious but slightly worried expression on his face.

“Are you alright?” Ram asks.

“...I don’t know.” I manage to cough out.

“Is your stomach hurting you? Does this have to do with your headache?” Ram questions.

“No…I think it was just a one-time thing, don’t worry.” I say, standing up fully and wiping my mouth, leading Ram away from the mess. She stares after me in worry, but I ignore her, staring up at the trial building, waiting for Subaru and Emilia to come out. The rushing of my head is almost enough to make me forget when she is going to show up.

“Hk!” As soon as she appears, I involuntarily inhale a breath of air. My eyes flick to her act for a second before turning away. I bring my arms into my body to keep them from shaking too visibly. I can feel her eyes on me, and my head starts to ache as the voices in my head start chattering one over the other.

You should just kill her here, get it over with before anything happens!

But if that happens, then we’ll get locked up with definite proof, idiot!

I try to pay attention to what Renee and Garfiel are saying, but the voices are making it hard to focus.

‘Shut up, both of you! I’m getting a headache!’ Maybe I’m going crazy, after all, who speaks to the voices in their heads like this? But after a second…it works.

…Sorry.

…Mm, sorry.

With that all dealt with, it’s much easier to focus on what’s currently happening. It seems to be following the route of the first route, which is fine; I can handle that. I’ll just have to keep in mind everything that happened the first time. Subaru and Emilia come walking out soon after, and when Subaru is done checking on Emilia, he hands her off to Ram and walks straight over to me. I avoid his searching eyes as he steps in front of me.

“Do you need something?” I ask him, my shoulders hunched as I stare at the floor.

“We need to talk.” He sighs.

“...Not right now,” I tell him, glancing sharply toward Garfiel and Renee, who are just wrapping things up.

“Alright, everyone, listen up! Someone’s been murdered in the Sanctuary, and as the protector of the Sanctuary, it’s my duty to figure this out. You’re all suspicious, so I’m gonna be keepin’ my eye out.” Garfiel announces.

“You guys head back to Roswaal’s place, I’ll join ya shortly.” He states, waving the rest of us off and leaving with Renee. I breathe out a sigh of relief the minute she’s out of sight. As Ram leaves ahead of us with Emilia, Subaru drags me into a slower pace to talk.

“So what exactly happe- never mind, I’ll start first.” He cuts himself off after one look at my face. Was I that obvious?

“First things first, Frederica doesn’t know anything, and…Beatrice has a Gospel.” He hesitates for a fraction of a second before revealing the information.

“Hmm…so she does know something. Are you sure it was a Gospel?” I ask him.

“I’m sure, I think? She said it was, she said she did everything according to it…but it’s Beatrice, I just can’t believe that everything we did together was all because of some book.” He spits out the last word like it’s a curse.

“Ugh, this is all so confusing.” I groan in frustration, running my hands through my hair.

“So…what exactly happened on your end? I don’t think we died because of Else this time.” He shudders slightly as he mentions the Bowel Hunter.

“...I didn’t get much information. I tried to talk to Emilia for a bit, but I…well, it doesn’t matter. I know who did the murder, and I know most of the why. But I haven’t figured out how to stop it. I basically got fucking lynched. I don’t know if I can keep doing this…I…I don’t know.” A strangled sob forces its way out of my throat.

“Maybe, maybe we should just use this chance to figure out information. I’m sure if we play our cards right, then we can figure stuff out for the next time.” He suggests lightly.

“And then what? I can’t keep facing these meaningless deaths! I just can’t, I’m at my wits' end here. She terrifies me, the people that kill us, they terrify me, alright! I can’t just look past it even though I act like I do, and I have these voices crowding around in my head, and I know Roswaal has something to do with it and…and…urgh.” I feel the urge to throw up again, fighting against it as a double down in place.

“They terrify me too, but just what am I supposed to do about it. Some of these people don’t even remember killing me; they’re different people now, those memories lost to a different world. If we don’t keep going, then who will?” Subaru says after I straighten back up.

“I get it, I get it! So let’s just, ugh, fuck! Right, I’ve got this, we can do this!” I hype myself up, slapping my cheeks to get my brain buzzing. We head back to the house to reunite with everyone, going over the same information, making some of the same decisions. When the topic of discussion is over, Subaru and I make our way outside for a breath of fresh air.

“After this, I usually talk to Roswaal. Do you want to come this time?” He questions.

“I probably should, I have some questions for him,” I reply, glancing off into the distance as I try to order my thoughts.

“Hey, are you two, okay?” A voice brings me out of my silent contemplation, and I turn to find Otto staring at us with worry in his gaze. I haven’t talked with Otto much since coming here, a fact I feel kind of guilty about, but it’s not like I really know him all that well.

“Yeah, we’re fine, why do you think something’s off?” Subaru asks cheerily, putting some fake pep in his voice.

“Hm, it’s not exactly that something is off, you just seem a bit too calm, and you seem not calm enough.” He states, his gaze swinging from Subaru to me.

“Eh, what’s that mean?” Subaru questions.

“I’ll put it this way, in the time that I’ve known the both of you. You would be extremely worried with Emilia being in such a state, and you would be trying to lighten the mood or figure out how to fix it. Am I wrong to say this kind of attitude shift is unnerving?” Otto questions.

“Hmm, but isn’t it a good thing? If I can act calm, then that means I can still think reasonably.” Subaru responds. If I were in my right mind, I would’ve smacked him, but at the moment, I was barely functioning. The voices that had stopped earlier had come back at the mention of Roswaal and were quietly discussing something I couldn’t make out. And isn’t that weird? I can’t make out the voices in my own head.

“Uhm, what? I don’t think that’s right, I mean, there’s a big difference between looking calm and being able to think rationally.” Otto stammers.

“Well, it should be fine. I need to get to Roswaal quickly; there are some things I really need to pin down in regards to him.” Subaru waves Otto off lightheartedly.

“Well-” Otto moves to say something, but is instead interrupted by a call from none other than Garfiel.

“Yo, I have something I want to talk to the two of you about.” He says, pointing to Subaru and me.

“Can’t this wait till later? We were going to go talk to Roswaal.” I turn, giving him a curious head tilt. Garfiel is always doing something different from loop to loop; it’s hard to get a good feeling on him when he’s always all over the place.

“Ugh, your guys’s shady scheme with that bastard can wait till later.” He scoffs.

“And what exactly did you want to talk about, the Sanctuary?” Subaru questions.

“What else would I want to talk about? Now hurry up, I won’t wait for long.” He huffs like he wasn’t the one who asked us to come over.

“Here, you go talk with Garfiel, and I’ll go over to Roswaal’s, that way we can get all the information we need. You wanted to ask about Beatrice, right?” I ask. Subaru nods his head slowly, contemplating what to say next.

“Just be careful, alright.” He says eventually.

“Of course,” I answer as he walks away.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow then, Otto!” Subaru shouts at the grey-haired man next to me.

“Urgh, alright.” Otto sighs.

“I guess I should go talk to Roswaal now.” I let out my own sigh as I think about having to deal with that man.

“Are you really alright? I know he left before I could really interrogate him, but you don’t look the best.” Otto says, pointing in the direction Subaru left.

“...Is it that obvious?” I question.

“No, I don’t think so, but I’m a merchant; it’s my job to be observant.” He smiles.

“The problem is, almost everyone here is just as observant.” I point out.

“That might be true, haha.” Otto laughed awkwardly, “You know, you could talk to me about it, if you want. I mean, I know we don’t know each other very well, but it’s good to rely on others.” He offers. I take a moment to consider his offer, so close to others in the previous loop. But really, does it matter anyway? I’ve all but given up on this loop; despite what I’d said, there was just too much we didn’t know.

“I guess I’m just tired. And scared, so many things are happening that I’m not ready for and don’t have a single clue about. It feels like I’ve been giving everything a hundred percent ever since I came here, with no room to breathe. And it’s all chosen now to fall apart.” I sigh, dropping down to hug my knees as I stand on the ball of my foot.

“Hm, that sounds serious, but as I said, you’re not alone. How about I go with you to talk to Roswaal? Would that be better?” Otto asks, tilting his head.

“Actually…I think it would. This isn’t just so you can have a chance to ask him for a favor or something, right?” I ask, shooting him a withering glare.

“Nope, I swear.” He says quickly, backing up with some nervous energy.

“Geez, alright. Let’s get this done sooner rather than later.” I push against the ground to stand up, motioning for Otto to follow as I head toward Roswaal. When I open the door to his room, he glances over with a curious expression.

“Oh? Hoooooow interesting, I would’ve thought for sure Subaru would be the one coming through those doors.” He smiles his usual fake smile, which gives me the creeps.

“Yeah, well, you’ve got us, and we want to ask some questions,” I reply, spinning a chair around and sitting down with my arms resting on the back of it.

“Y-yeah!” Otto stutters out in an effort to be supportive.

“What do you want to knoooow?” Roswaal questions.

“Hm, first I should ask about Subaru’s thing. He wants to know if Beatrice is in the Witch’s Cult; apparently, she had a Gospel.” I tell him, watching his expression carefully. It doesn’t change much.

“What are your thoughts on thiiiis?” Roswaal says instead of answering the question.

“Do you really need to know?” I counter.

“If you want the answer.” He responds.

“Ugh, fine. It’s not like I was there, and while I do think Beatrice is hiding something…I don’t think she’s in the Witch Cult. And before you ask why I think that, it’s not much more than a feeling.” I say, holding my hand up to stop him from interrupting.

“Interesting. Weeeeell, I suppose I can answer you now. Beatrice is not a Witch Cultist; the object she had may have resembled a Gospel, but it is not. It is a magical text that can tell the future, one of only two copies that are the closest there is to the Tome of Wisdom.” Roswaal explains.

“I see, I’ll make sure to tell him that,” I mumble.

“Ah, then, if you could, would you tell him this…‘Roswaal said to ask the question’. If he appears to show confusion toward this statement, tell him to say ‘I am that person’ to Beatrice instead.” He requests.

“And why would I do that? Anything you tell me to do must be some level of shady.” I huff.

“It may be the clue to getting out of your situation, but who knoooows?” Roswaal smirks.

“Right then, now onto my own questions,” I say with a glance around the room. Usually, Ram spends her time with Roswaal, but she must be out on an errand as she isn’t in the room this time. I take the chance to grab onto Roswaal and drag him closer to me.

“What the fuck did you do to me, you bastard?” I growl, gritting my teeth and glaring at him.

“Ah, so you found out. I wonder, did you figure it out on your own or did someone tell you, well, I suppose it doesn’t matter in the end.” Roswaal laughed lightly.

“Answer me, you son of a bitch!” I demand, shaking him once for effect.

“A-ah, how about we all just calm down.” Otto interferes, and I’m forced to put Roswaal down, leaning back into my chair with a huff.

“So, what was it?” I repeat.

“It was a special kind of tea I have access to, which helps activate the soul's full potential. I simply had Ram make your tea with some. It seems it’s workiiiing.” Roswaal reveals.

“You fucker, you spiked my tea!? I have constant headaches now as well as weird voices in my head, I started thinking I was going crazy!” I shout, clenching my fists in anger.

“I only did it to check a theory, it seems I was riiiight. But you said voices, not voice?” He clarifies.

“What does it matter? What you did was fucked up, and this conversation is over. Maybe I’ll come back, maybe not, but just know that I don’t trust you, not one bit.” I tell him, standing up and knocking the chair over in my hurry.

“C’mon, Otto.” I gesture for the man to follow me, stepping out the door without looking back to see if he followed.

“That was certainly something,” Otto says, shutting the door behind him.

“You’re telling me.” I huff out a laugh as I drag my hands down my face.

“Don’t you want to find out more information?” Otto questions.

“Yeah, but if I’d stayed in there any longer, I wouldn’t have been able to hold myself back,” I reply. Before I can say anything else, though, I feel a tightness around my neck and a sharp pain, like I’m being strangled.

“Kghrk!” I choke out as I reach my hands up to my neck.

“Erik? Erik! Is something wrong?” Otto panics, fretting about me as I sink to the floor. I claw at my throat, trying to show him what’s wrong. It must be something on Subaru’s end; there’s no way it’s anything else.

I feel my throat tighten once more, all the air leaking out of me as it does. I’m being choked and I can’t do a single thing about it. All the strength is leaving my body as the edges of my vision turn black. I pass out with a strangled gasp, my body falling like a puppet with cut strings.

When I come to, gasping for air, Otto is leaning over me. I hurriedly scrabbled away from him, placing a hand to my throat to feel for any damage. It seems…I’m not dead.

“W-what happened?” Otto questions.

“It’s Subaru. Someone choked him until he passed out. Damn, the only person it could be was Garfiel. But what happened, why would he…?” I start to rapidly mumble under my breath until Otto interrupts me.

“Whoa, whoa, you’re going too fast, how do you know that?” He asks.

“We share pain and injuries, and I sure as hell didn’t get choked out by you. Something happened to him, we have to find him!” I shout, panicking a little.

“Calm down for now, I don’t think he’s in too much danger for the time being if they only made him pass out. We should try and figure out what happened to him discreetly. If it was Garfiel, then he has a lot of sway in the Sanctuary; it wouldn’t do well to make a fuss.” Otto explains.

“Ugh, that makes a lot of sense. Let’s go find the others and figure out what happened.” I sigh, taking Otto’s offered hand to stand up. We decide the best place to go is where the most shouting is, and what we happen to find is Garfiel and Emilia surrounded by a bunch of villagers from Arlam.

“What happened?” Otto questions as we walk up.

“Subaru is missing; nobody can find him. Do either of you know where he went?” Emilia asks.

“Ugh, this is why you shouldn’t go walking into the forest alone at night. Anything can happen out there.” Garfiel grumbles. Otto glances at him, but Garfiel simply glares back.

“No, we haven’t seen him since earlier,” I reply easily, hoping that Garfiel won’t catch onto us.

“I want to talk to you two alone real quick,” Garfiel says, pulling Otto and me aside as Emilia organizes a search.

“What is it-kgh!” Otto is cut off as he’s slammed into a tree.

“Look, you two need to be silent. Ideally, it wouldn’t have happened like this, but whatever, it’s too late for that. If you keep quiet, I can assure your friend's safety, and if you stay quiet, I’ll give you this.” Garfiel states, pulling a purple crystal out of his pocket.

Otto and I glance at each other before nodding, agreeing to what Garfiel said. He backs off with a hesitant nod, glaring at us as he rejoins the search. It’s weird to see him like this, after what happened in the last loop. I wonder what changed to make him go so far as to strangle someone like that. Whatever, it doesn’t matter; what does matter is figuring out how to get Subaru back before something happens.

“So, we’re both in agreement that we should make a plan to get Subaru out of wherever he is?” I ask Otto.

“Indeed.” He agrees.

“Good, let’s get to planning then.”

Chapter Text

Overall, the base plan we made that night was very simple. Garfiel may have threatened and bribed us, but he still doesn’t trust us, so he would probably be watching our every move. The best plan was to split up and see if we could find where Subaru was being hidden while avoiding both Garfiel and the Sanctuary villagers.

“Then, tomorrow you stay around the village to draw their attention while I see if I can find Mr. Natsuki.” Otto finishes. The search had been called off for the night, and we were conversing in the house Subaru and I were staying in.

“Alright, be careful out there. I know there’s some weird prison room somewhere, but I couldn’t tell you where.” I tell him.

“Thanks for the info, let’s make the most of tomorrow.” He shoots me a cheesy wink before leaving. I sink into the mattress of the bed once he’s gone, rubbing my neck absentmindedly. There was a way I could communicate with Subaru…but considering I don’t know his situation, it would probably be a bad idea to carve into my skin if he couldn’t answer.

I rub my eyes harshly before getting undressed and lying in bed. Somehow managing to get a few hours of sleep despite how bad the past few hours have been. The next day brings its own set of problems, though. It starts with Emilia, who swings by to knock at my door just as I finish getting dressed.

“Hey, is something wrong?” I ask her, spotting her worried face.

“Ah, no, I mean. I am worried about Subaru, but I just wanted to check in with you. I’m sure this must be stressful.” She frets, waving her arms around awkwardly.

“It’s fine, honestly, I really should’ve expected something like this to happen. But if I’m still here, then that means Subaru is probably fine; all we have to do is look for him.” I comfort her.

“Mm, I mean, argh, I was supposed to come comfort you, but here you are comforting me, maybe I really am useless…” The last few words were quiet, but I heard them anyway.

“You’re not useless, you have your own talents, and other people have theirs. Imagine if Subaru heard you calling yourself useless, what would that make him? Worse than dirt. And we all know that’s not true, have a bit of confidence in yourself.” I say, patting her head. I freeze for a second at the gesture, taking my hand away quickly, though Emilia doesn’t seem to notice.

“Hm, you’re right. I shouldn’t be worrying about this kind of thing; we should focus on finding Subaru. I was going to spend the day searching. Did you want to join me?” She asks. I hesitate for a split second, memories of the previous loop flashing through my mind. Emilia reminds me a bit too much of a…former friend, but still, that’s not a reason to turn her down.

“Sure,” I answer, stepping out of the house and closing the door behind me. The day goes much like last night, with no real progress being made from searching the woods. I can see Emilia getting more and more depressed and anxious as time goes on. But it just confirms my suspicions that Subaru is being kept somewhere, either underground or an aboveground area we don’t know about. The search is soon called off, and a despondent Emilia fidgets by my side in the middle of the town as the rest of the villagers from Arlam village head off to rest.

“We’ll find him, don’t worry,” I tell her, trying my best to comfort her.

“Mm, it’s not just that, though. I think I’m going to take a break from the trial tonight to search for Subaru. Did you want to come with me then, too? I don’t really want to be alone…” She trails off. I open my mouth to speak, but am quickly cut off by an unfortunately unskippable event.

“Hey, did you really think you could get away with it?” Garfiel's voice cuts in.

“What are you talking about?” Emilia questions as I internally groan. The voices in my head groan with me. Speaking of, I should probably ask Roswaal more about that the next time I see him.

“We found some evidence that you murdered Old Man Pak. I’m just gonna ask ya a couple of questions, and hey, maybe if we’ll let you go if you’re convincin’ enough.” He says, pointing his finger into my chest with an annoying smile on his face.

“I didn’t murder him. I was framed, and I don’t care if you don’t believe me. I’m not getting questioned until I know that my friend is safe and sound. You know, maybe the murderer was the one who kidnapped my friend; in that case, it most definitely isn’t me.” I tell him, grabbing his finger and pushing it away from my body as I cross my arms.

“Kgh, fine, but I’ve got my eye on you. Plus, the information might’ve gotten leaked to some of the villagers, so I’d watch your back.” Garfiel growls, turning away from us with a huff. Emilia has gone pale by my side.

“Do you really think the murderer has Subaru?” She questions, her hands fiddling with her sleeves.

“Maybe, but I haven’t felt anything, so he’s still fine,” I reply, grabbing her hands and giving them a comforting squeeze. Emilia nods, some color returning to her face.

“I don’t mind going with you tonight, but I’m afraid I’m not super welcome around here,” I tell her, referring to our earlier conversation before getting interrupted. Emilia glances around at the few Sanctuary villagers in the area, all of them glaring at me.

“R-right, then I’m going to go take a break for a bit before tonight, I’ll see you later.” She says, taking a step back and waving despite the rejection. I lightly rub the back of my neck before returning to my own house to rest. Before I even have a chance to sit down, there’s a desperate knocking on the door. When I open it, Otto flings himself inside before shutting the door with a slam.

“Seriously?” I deadpan from my spot on the floor where he knocked me over in his rush to get in.

“Ah, sorry.” He apologizes, reaching a hand down to help me up.

“I take it you have some information for me?” I ask, it was currently late afternoon around dinner. That meant Otto had an entire day to try and figure out where Subaru went.

“Yep, I managed to find where Mr. Natsuki is being held. I saw one of the Sanctuary villagers walking off into the forest and followed them. Turns out they were switching another villager who was on lookout duty. I made sure to remember the area so we can find it again.” Otto reveals.

“Nice, now we just need to make a plan to get him out of there!” I lightly cheer.

“It’s going to be hard, though; our best choice is to get Mr. Natsuki out of the Sanctuary entirely,” Otto mutters.

“I can’t do much either. I just got accused of murder today, so Garfiel and all the villagers are going to be on my ass if I so much as sneeze. Worst comes to worst, they might even mob me.” I say, suppressing a small shiver.

“Alright, I’ll think of a plan tomorrow then, and try to monitor the lookout and how often they switch. I’ll come by the same time tomorrow night.” Otto states.

“Sounds good,” I reply. He checks outside the window for a second before casually strolling outside and closing the door behind him. The rest of the night goes as expected, and the next day Emilia shows up at my door again. I only have a short amount of time to appreciate the fact that this is the longest we’ve made it yet.

“Roswaal wants to talk to us about what to do today,” Emilia reveals.

“Right, let’s get this over with then.” I sigh.

“You and Subaru don’t seem to like Roswaal that much,” Emilia says, shooting me a curious glance.

“Do you like him?” I ask her instead of answering.

“I don’t know, he’s helping me with the Royal Selection, but his methods are a bit…’extreme’ sometimes.” She responds.

“A bit? Well, it doesn’t really matter; I hate him with all my guts. He’s effective for sure, but he doesn’t care about what it takes to get those results. Whether he’s consciously doing that or unconsciously, it doesn’t matter; he just doesn’t care about our well-being and only wants to further his own goals.” I spit, my face unconsciously forming into a grimace.

“Mm, I can see that.” Emilia nods in return.

“I mean, just the other day, he spiked my tea with something just to settle a curiosity he had. I don’t even know if he really thought the effects through either.” I sigh.

“Uhm, that sounds really bad,” Emilia states, looking at me with a blank face.

“What’s done is done, I’m not happy about it either; actually, I’m furious. But he’s way more powerful than me, even while injured. He still has Ram around, too, so it’s a lost cause.” I explain.

“A-alright, if you say so,” Emilia says, glancing downward, “I’m sorry that happened though.” She adds, giving me a comforting pat on the back.

The meeting with Roswaal goes about as well as it could, considering it’s Roswaal we’re talking about. He tells Emilia that it would be better to focus on completing the trial and that we could find out what happened to Subaru afterwards. With that all settled, I spent the rest of the day with Emilia, trying to prepare her for the trial. I don’t think I did a very good job considering we’re both extremely distracted. Otto pops into the house at the same time as the day before, this time, with Ram on his heels.

“What’s going on here?” I question, tilting my brow up.

“Ah, she saw me sneaking around, said I looked pathetic, and offered to help. At least I think that’s what happened? It was all layered under extremely hurtful insults.” Otto explains.

“That sounds like Ram, so you’re going to help us?” I ask her.

“Indeed, I couldn’t take much more of watching this man pitifully scrabble around like a bug, and besides, my orders from Roswaal were to assist you two.” She reveals.

“Alright then, do we have a plan yet?” I question, turning to Otto.

“Roughly, I say we do everything at night, so we can have some cover. We’ll have Ram grab the earth dragon, Patrasche, and wait at a nearby spot. Meanwhile, we’ll rescue Subaru after sneaking past the lookout. We’ll meet up with Ram, get on Patrasche, and make our way out of here.” Otto explains.

“Doesn’t sound too bad, but what happens if Garfiel finds out?” I counter, even if I could hold my own against him, it’s not the best strategy in the long run.

“I’ll stay back and hold him off; he has a better relationship with me, and I can keep him at bay for a bit.” Ram offers.

“Though that sounds risky, it’s not like we have much choice. I doubt the three of us could stay here if it comes to it.” I sigh, referring to Subaru, Otto, and myself.

“There is one thing that’s bothering me, though. It would help if we had some way to know where the exit is. I don’t think it’s ideal to try and figure out where to go in a dark forest.” Otto mutters.

“Ah, I have an idea, actually. What if we get the people of Arlam village to hold up lanterns to light the way? We could easily follow and make our way out.” I suggest.

“That could work!” Otto snaps his fingers with a grin.

“Good, then let’s gather everything necessary tomorrow and make our move at night.” I grin back.

“Good luck to you both.” Ram nods, turning around to leave the house, Otto following close behind her. A few hours later, I find myself standing in front of the trial building, waiting for Emilia. Garfiel and Ram are there again as well, but the villagers of Arlam have stayed behind.

When the light turns off and Emilia comes stumbling out, I rush over to support her. She has a pale face and tear streaks rolling down her cheeks. She turns her head into my shoulder and lets out a sob.

“I couldn’t do it, I failed.” She sobs.

“It’s okay, let’s just go back and get some rest,” I tell her, rubbing circles on her back as Ram comes to support her on the other side.

“Do you think…I’m ever going to be able to complete the trial?” Emilia asks softly. It’s the next day, and we’re sitting in the shade a distance away from the village.

“Maybe, it’s not like I actually know these things. I can’t tell the future after all.” I respond.

“Ah…” It wasn’t the answer she was looking for.

“Look, I can’t tell you if it’s all going to work out. I just don’t know those things. But if you were to ask me if I believed you could be able to complete the trial, then I would say yes wholeheartedly. You’re more determined than anyone I’ve ever met, so I believe you can get it done, even if it takes some time.” I explain.

“But…I don’t have time. The entire Sanctuary and the villagers of Arlam are counting on me. Not just that, but Subaru too. I can’t let them down, I have to do it!” She cries out, frustrated tears welling up in her eyes.

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to shout.” She apologizes, wiping her tears away.

“I don’t mind, look, the best advice I can give you is that it’s your past, it’s a part of you, and it always will be. But you don’t have to let your life be ruled by the past, whether you remember it or not. We should accept the past, but try to focus on the future. Or something like that, I don’t know, this is the kind of bullshit my therapist would tell me.” I mumble the last part, my face flushing in embarrassment.

“Thanks…I think that helped.” She says, giving me a small smile.

“Good luck with the trial tonight, I’m sure everything will go well tonight.” I shoot her a reassuring smile.

“Mm, I’m going to go rest for a bit now, see you later.” She shoots to her feet, waving at me as she leaves.

“Hm? Well, that was a ridiculously sappy conversation.” The voice makes my blood freeze as someone moves to sit next to me.

“What, are you that scared of me?” She teases. I turn to find Renee, leering at me with a sharp smirk.

“What the fuck do you want.” I snap, facing her with a glare.

“Not much, I just wanted to talk a bit. It’s a shame, but I don’t think I’ll have the chance to talk to you much later on.” She sighs, shooting a small glance down at the knife in her hand. I take a small inhale of breath before trying to regulate my breathing.

“And what did you want to talk about?” I question. Positioning my body so I could leave at any time.

“Oh, just this and that. I mostly wanted to know if you had any questions for me, mostly because of something Roswaal said.” She grins. Of course, it was Roswaal, it’s always Roswaal.

“Then, why are you doing this?” She opens her mouth to speak, but I cut her off, “Not this specifically, I mean in general. How did you get to this point?” It was something I was curious about: what were the circumstances that led to her being here?

“Aw, you want my sad life story? The depressing circumstances led me to become an evil assassin. Well, there aren’t any, haha! I grew up in an average house with an average family. The only thing different about me was that I didn’t have any friends, but that’s mostly because I didn’t want any. I mean, who wants to hang around a bunch of useless snotty brats.” She grits her teeth, squeezing her hand in annoyance.

“When I was a bit older, Mother found me and invited me to join her. Obviously, I said yes, I didn’t care about my family or anyone else, only Mother was interesting. I was usually given orders alone, but sometimes Mother paired me up with those two. And then I got sent here, that’s it!” She finishes.

“Hah, you’re the worst kind of person.” I scoff.

“Really? It’s not that hard to end up like me, though. All it takes is a little isolation and we all go a bit mad, haha!” She laughs, her eyes cling to my body uncomfortably, and I stand up.

“Right, I’m going to go now,” I tell her, already moving away.

“Be careful out there, the world's a scary place, and it doesn’t take much for people to turn on you.” She states as I walk off. It unconsciously makes me shiver, and I walk faster than I was before. The conversation gave me a lot to think about, mostly about how Roswaal was involved in all this, that bastard. The rest of the day passes quickly, and when nighttime comes around, I find myself in the house once again with Otto and Ram.

“Is everything good to go?” I ask them. They both nod in affirmation.

“The villagers of Arlam are all set up; they know the plan. And I’ve marked down how often the lookout switches and their general patterns.” Otto states.

“Garfiel should be held up getting Emilia ready for the trial tonight, so we have a short window before he notices we’re not there. So let’s hurry.” I say, waving them forward as I step out of the house.

Ram moves off in a different direction as Otto and I sneak past the village and into the forest. Otto leads me through the trees until he pauses and sinks down behind a bush, pulling me down beside him.

“Do you see that person right there?” Otto asks, pointing through some trees. It takes me a minute, but I eventually spot the person. They're a demi-human with short hair and dog ears; they stifle a yawn as they glance around.

“The building Subaru is being kept in is just behind them. When they turn to look the other direction, we sneak in as quietly as possible, got it?” Otto looks at me for confirmation.

“Yeah, sure, but how are we going to get him to turn around?” Just as I finish my question, Otto grabs a rock and tosses it off into the forest behind the person. As soon as they turn around, Otto grabs my hand and quickly brings me into the building.

The inside of the building is completely dark, and we find ourselves walking down a flight of stairs before a familiar room is revealed to me. The same prison area I was kept in during the first loop, and there, on the ground, is Subaru. Tied up and gagged with a blindfold on.

“Shit!” I whisper, trying to keep my voice low. Otto and I rush over and begin untying him.

“Make sure to keep quiet, we don’t want the lookout knowing we’re here,” Otto tells Subaru. He nods as we manage to get the blindfold and gag off. I grab out one of my daggers to cut through the rope binding his wrists and feet. Otto hands Subaru some water, and he chugs it before wiping his mouth off.

“Oh, thank fuck, I was so worried.” I reach over and envelop him in a big hug, my hands slightly shaking. I was trying to keep it together in front of everyone, but it was still really scary to have him disappear on me like that.

“H-how long has it been?” Subaru winces at how rough his voice sounds.

“Three days,” Otto reveals. Subaru just blinks in surprise before sighing at the information.

“It’s currently nighttime and time for the trial,” Otto adds.

“The trial? It’s still happening?” Subaru questions in surprise.

“Yeah, the first day, Emilia was too worried to do it and spent the night searching. But we had a talk with Roswaal the next day, and he suggested she focus on the trial.” I explain.

“What else happened while I was gone?” He asks.

“Well, Otto was sneaking around trying to get information and making a plan. I tried to help Emilia, but news of the murder got out again, so I’ve been trying to avoid the villagers.” I answer.

“Garfiel had his eyes on us, so we had to be extra careful.” Otto sighs.

“Yeah, he threatened me and tried to bribe Otto.” I laugh.

“Thanks, but I’m just confused on why you did this, I mean, I get why this idiot did it,” Subaru states, rubbing his fist against my head until I push him away in annoyance, “But why did you help?” Subaru asks Otto.

“Huh? Isn’t it obvious, it’s what friends do, right?” Otto starts mumbling to himself after that sentence shocks Subaru.

“Huh? Friends, did you say friends? Not blends, friends?” Subaru questions.

“Uh, yes? Is there something wrong? Are we not, I mean, I know I never asked, but do you not want to be…” Otto continues rambling on until I stop him.

“Of course, Subaru wants to be your friend, right?” I turn to Subaru with a small glare.

“Right, I was just so surprised, I’ve never had anybody ask to be my friend like that.” He chuckles.

“Uh, well, I’m just not used to stuff like this.” Otto flounders, his face red.

“C’mon, we’re all best buddies or whatever, but we need to get out of here sooner rather than later.” I urge, pulling Subaru up.

“Right, let’s go,” Otto says, taking the lead as we walk up the stairs, pausing at the top to glance at the lookout. Otto pulls out another rock and throws it, catching their attention again as we move past them and toward the meeting spot with Ram.

“Man, we really had to get a lot of help in order to make this work.” I sigh, starting a conversation as we move through the forest.

“A lot of help?” Subaru questions.

“You’ll see,” Otto states. In a few minutes, we make it to where Ram is waiting with Patrasche. Subaru stares at her blankly.

“I guess I didn’t expect this.” He finally says.

“You don’t need to look so surprised, Barusu. I did this to assist you two as per Roswaal’s orders.” Ram scoffs.

“There’s the usual Ram.” He smirks.

“Right, the plan is we’re going to get the hell out of here on Patrasche and figure out what to do once we’re outside the barrier, sound good?” I look around at the other three for confirmation.

“Ah, wait, I need to talk to Roswaal about that thing from three days ago.” Subaru panics.

“Don’t worry, I already asked him, remember? He told me that Beatrice isn’t in the Witch Cult, whatever book she has is different from the Gospel. It’s one of the original two or whatever. He also said to tell you ‘Roswaal said to ask this question.” I pause for a second, watching his expression at the last statement. When he simply tilts his head in confusion, I move on.

“Well, basically, just tell Beatrice I am that person. That’s what Roswaal told me to tell you.” I finish.

“Ugh, that doesn’t make any sense.” He groans.

“It doesn’t matter, for now, we should focus on getting out of here.” Ram states.

“Alright, although, how are we going to make it out of here? There’s one dragon and four of us.” Otto points out.

“I can probably run beside Patrasche while carrying someone if I push myself.” I offer.

“Well, isn’t this just a fun reunion. Did ya really think I wouldn’t find out?” A voice interrupts. I turn around to find Garfiel standing there, an aura of pure murder radiating off him.

“Shit!” I curse.

“Weren’t you supposed to be overseeing the trial?” Subaru questions.

“My job is to protect the Sanctuary, and that means takin’ out threats to the Sanctuary. Your little plans got leaked, how d’ya feel about that? So? Where ya plannin’ on goin’?!” Garfiel growls, taking a step forward.

“We’re going to take Barusu out of the Sanctuary. I’d say it works perfectly for you as you won’t have to deal with him anymore.” Ram says, stepping forward.

“Hah!? You assumin’ what’s goin’ on in my head? Really, there’s nothin’ lovable about ya, that’s what I like though.” Garfiel grins.

“So, you’re going to let us go?” Subaru says tentatively, I almost want to smack my head. Does he look like he wants to let us go?

“Look, I know it’s a pain in the ass to keep those two here, but the thing is…well, to put it another way, Hoshin was Banan’s sunset!” Garfiel smirks. The words don’t mean anything to me, not really; there is an edge of familiarity to them, but not enough to make me understand. What I do understand, though, is Otto and Ram’s body language.

“I still don’t know what you mean, but-” I cut Subaru off by slapping a hand to his mouth and dragging him back a bit. Otto and Ram immediately move to stand in front of us.

“You may not understand what he’s saying, given your lack of information.” Ram starts.

“But that saying was based on how the legendary trader Hoshin brought the small nation of Banan to ruin. It’s a declaration that gives your opponent two options: Surrender, or face an all-out attack.” Otto finishes.

“S-seriously?” Subaru deadpans.

“Garf, did you not understand me at all?” Ram questions.

“Hah, of course I understand, don’t misinterpret me, just cause I have the hots for ya doesn’t mean I won’t twist yer arm,” Garfiel states.

“Why are you so obsessed with keeping us here? Wouldn’t it be better to let us go free?” I question.

“I dunno what the hell you two are, or what you could do, so I can’t let ya outside.” Garfiel denies.

“This decision may upset Master Roswaal, because to Roswaal, those two are…useless employees; they could be easily discarded.” Ram states.

“Roswaal? You think he cares about this place, about the old hag, or anybody else in it? He doesn’t care about you either, Ram! Face the facts!” Garfiel shouts.

“Master Roswaal is-” Ram starts.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up! I don’t give a shit about that bastard, we’re done here, hand them over!” Garfiel yells, swinging his fist into a tree and splitting it in two.

“Ram, Erik!” Otto shouts.

“Let’s go!” I cry out, grabbing Subaru and putting him behind Otto on Patrasche. I push mana into my legs, utilizing the Flow Method to keep pace behind the earth dragon as she starts running off into the forest. Otto makes a whistle noise, the signal for the villagers of Arlam.

“W-what?” Subaru glances around at the lights.

“Told you we had a lot of help.” I tease. We twist and turn, following the lights through the woods as the villagers yell encouragement. We stop in front of two villagers, the last ones to give directions.

“Just keep going straight and you’ll reach the barrier. We’ll stall for you.” They say.

“Thanks,” Otto says gratefully. Before we can move on, though, a rumble echoes through the forest. I’m barely able to grab Subaru and Otto and push them down before a tree comes flying through, landing on the ground with a small shockwave, kicking up dirt and rubble.

I have a few scrapes on me, but no permanent damage. I move off of Subaru and Otto to assess the surroundings. That’s when I see it, a giant tiger, moving its way through the trees, right toward us.

“Gar…fiel?” Subaru chokes out. This…this is really bad. I don’t know if I can fight something like that with this many people around to protect.

“Garfiel, please, I-I’ll do what you say, so just, don’t hurt anyone else.” Subaru stutters, standing up and moving toward the hulking figure. I reached out for him, trying to stand up, but it was too late by the time I got moving.

“Watch out!” Otto shouts, pushing Subaru out of the way. Blood sprays on my face as claws slice through his midsection like butter. Half of his body flies off, landing on the ground a short distance away, blood and intestines spilling out. The other half collapses to the ground.

“Garfiel!” Subary cries out in anguish. I try my best to ignore Otto’s body, moving toward Subaru right as Garfiel roars, the blast sending us flying through the air. I maneuver Subaru so that he’s in front of me, taking the brunt of the force onto my back when we land. Though I suppose it doesn’t matter much anyway.

I can see the villagers throwing rocks at Garfiel as I try to blink away the stars in my vision. I feel something grab onto the edge of my shirt, and I can hear Subaru begging for everyone to stop, that they shouldn’t die for him. I can see one of the villagers get killed, and then there’s a bright light. When I come to, I find myself in the prison area from before. With Subaru waking up at my feet. It’s cold, and my back twinges in pain.

“Urgh, are you okay?” I ask Subaru, shaking him a bit.

“Why…why does this always happen?” He questions, looking at his bloody hand.

“L-let’s get out of here first, assess the situation,” I tell him, standing up with a fair bit of pain before helping Subaru up as he winces. We support each other as we walk forward and up the stairs.

“It's…morning?” Subaru questions, glancing at the light ahead of us. I keep quiet as we make it to the edge of the building. What greets us is a wide expanse of white snow.

“Huh?” I make a noise of confusion at the sight.

“W-what happened?” Subaru asks. I simply shrug my shoulders and take a step forward. Subaru and I move through the white expanse, through the forest, and into the village. There’s not a single person in sight.

“Nobody, there’s nobody,” Subaru says, his voice empty.

“I… what should we do?” I question him.

“Just…continue moving, maybe they left?” Subaru suggests. We move on past the village and then past the trial building until we reach an open field covered in snow. I pause for a second, my breath catching in my throat.

“Maybe, this is a bad idea, we-we should go back and leave the barrier, they could’ve gone the other way,” I tell Subaru.

“There’s no way they went the other way; the barrier keeps them in. This is the only way they could’ve gone.” He states, breaking away from me to move forward. I stumble after him, moving at a slightly slower pace. Then, I see him stop to bend down.

“What is it?” I ask him as he reaches his hand out.

“It’s a rabbit.” He responds, and my blood freezes. Before I can even attempt to shove him away, his hand is gone. The pain hits me a second later as I pull my hand into my body, letting out an involuntary scream at the sudden pain.

My hand was gone; instead, there was blood, dripping down onto my body as I sank to my knees. I could see the bone and different veins and muscles that used to be connected to my hand. And before I can focus too much on that pain, my leg is cut off. I can see the moment it happens, it’s there, and then half of it is disconnected from my body.

“Agh!” I cry out in pain. I can barely see Subaru through the tears that start streaking down my face. But I can hear him and his cries of pain. I glance around, and there are rabbits everywhere. They’ve completely surrounded us.

It only takes a second before they pounce. I can feel it, their teeth, as they chew through my body and my skin. Taking off limbs and burrowing into my body to eat at my insides. And I’m awake the entire time. I can feel them chewing on me as my body breaks down into a gory mess, my own ears numb to my screams. They dig trails through my body, up and up they go, it doesn’t stop until they chew through my face and into my brain. But even the sweet release doesn’t completely stop the pain.

Chapter Text

I’ve experienced phantom pain before; usually, it’s in the case of feeling like a missing limb is still there. Then, what if the opposite is true? Suddenly losing a limb, feeling that all that pain, only for it to quickly cut off again like it was never there. Even though the source of the pain is gone, the brain can’t comprehend something like that, so the pain still exists, even if the injury is gone. 

There’s a dull throbbing in my head when I regain consciousness, my body feels like it’s on fire, and little twitches of pain appear here and there. The feeling of something digging through your skin like that can never truly leave. I want to throw up, I want to curl up into a ball, I want to scream, above all, I want to disappear. To never have to feel this pain again. But instead, I just stand there, numb to even my own body. Wishing something would happen so I could leave the limbo that is my mind. 

I can’t even recognize my body as my own; that’s how disconnected I am. The only thing I’m aware of is the pain. I try to make some sense of the tangled mess of nerves, but it doesn’t work. I can only sit there, trapped in my own mind. Until I feel a dull pain on my forehead, over and over, it feels like something smacking against it until a trail of blood streaks down my face. 

“Hk!” I come back to myself with a gasp, stumbling backward and tripping over my feet, landing painfully on the ground, staring at my trembling hands. 

“Ah, kghk! Why, why, whywhywhywhy!” I mumble tearfully into my hands, placing them against my face and sobbing against them. 

“Is something wrong?” A worried hand touches my shoulder, but I flinch against it violently, lifting my hands away to find Ram staring at me. 

“I-I don’t…” I can’t even finish my answer before turning over and throwing up, wiping my mouth as I finish. 

“Oi?! What’s goin’ on over here?” Garfiel stomps over to check the situation out. I don’t want to see his face, I really don’t, so I inch myself up on shaky feet and manage to stand up. Carefully backing away from the two of them. 

“I-it’s fine, I’m fine.” I try to say, putting my hands up to stop them from taking a step closer. They obviously don’t believe me. I’ve been avoiding eye contact the entire time, my hands are shaking, and my voice is wobbly. What can I do to convince them to leave me alone? I need to be alone. 

Just fix your expression, look them in the eye, and will your body to stop shaking. 

Make sure your voice is fine too, and give them a believable excuse. 

Oh, great, the voices are back, too. I mean, they had always been there, but after telling them to shut up, they had stayed in the background, droning on in a low buzz I couldn’t make out. A split second of inattention is all it takes for Garfiel to step forward, grabbing onto my arm and locking me in place. 

“Obviously, yer not fine, just go rest for a bit, it won’t hurt ya none.” He says roughly, despite that, it’s clear the words are said with care. It’s such a dramatic shift from his behavior the last time, it almost gives me whiplash. 

“Wha-?” I barely have enough time to start voicing my question before an awful chill envelopes me. I’m standing there, completely frozen as a horrible thickness glides over my body. 

“Watch out!” Ram shouts, and suddenly, I’m being blasted away by a gust of wind. 

“Ram!” I hear Garfiel cry out as my body hits the ground. I quickly try to get a grasp of my surroundings. I was sitting high up, on top of the trial building, if I were to guess. And down below is…the ground? Or at least, it should’ve been the ground; instead, everything was covered by a shadow. 

“W-what?” I question aloud, moving forward and searching for Ram. At first, I don’t see anything, but then, my vision catches her. The shadow is crawling up her body as she struggles to escape.  

“Ram!” I hear Garfiel yell out behind me. I feel a hand push me away roughly, grabbing onto my shoulder and pushing me to the ground. 

“Don’t come down here! It’s too late for me!” She cries out. I rub my shoulder as I move back toward the edge, just in time to watch Ram get fully engulfed by the shadow. Fuck, again? Already? Why is this happening? Something like this didn’t happen before. 

“Why…why, why, why, why, whywhywhy!?” I grip my head in my hands, slowly rocking back and forth. 

“Oi! Stop it! Stop freaking out! You can’t handle a crisis? Why did she save you if you were gonna be this useless?!” Garfiel shouts, grabbing my hands and launching them away from my head. He leans down till his face is only a couple of inches away from mine. 

“This is not the time to completely lose it, bottle that shit up and save it for later.” He growls. 

He’s right you know. 

Focus on getting to safety first. 

But what’s the point? This loop is already done for, Ram is dead, so is anybody who was on the ground, the shadow has already swallowed everything up. 

But you don’t want to die, right? Then why are you focusing on others and calling the loops a bust? Figure out how to make it out of here alive; your life comes first and foremost. 

You can make friends anywhere, just keep yourself and that boy alive, and deal with everything after. 

But that doesn’t make sense…if I choose to do that now, then what’s been the point of everything I’ve done so far? I’ve always chosen to help Subaru save his friends, my friends. Changing that now just to survive doesn’t make any sense. 

But if you don’t try to leave now, who knows how much worse it’ll get. What if those rabbits come back again? 

A flinch. 

You can’t just ignore us, we’re a part of you after all. If we’re saying this, then that must mean you’re thinking about it deep down. 

Another flinch. 

“...Fine. I’m good now.” I respond to Garfiel. 

“Good, let’s figure out what’s goin’ on, maybe we can still save some people,” Garfiel says, a nervous energy about him as he bounces on the balls of his feet. While I was pointlessly getting stuck in my own head, Garfiel must’ve realized that the Sanctuary he had tried so hard to protect was gone. Fuck, I’m so stupid. If anyone should be freaking out, it’s him. 

“Shit, look at this.” Garfiel motions me forward toward the edge. I follow his prompt and push myself toward the edge, glancing over to see a figure in the middle of the shadows. She was wearing all black with a black veil covering her face; her body was wreathed in shadows. 

“It’s…” Garfiel starts, his voice choking up. 

“Satella…” The name comes out of my mouth unbidden. 

“The Witch of Envy,” Garfiel agrees, “But how could she be here?” He questions. 

“It doesn’t matter, what the fuck are we supposed to do against something like this?” I ask. 

“She doesn’t appear to have noticed us. Maybe if we stay quiet, we could find a way to sneak out. Her shadows haven’t covered everything, look.” Garfiel points out the distant forest beyond the village, the shadows had stopped just at the edge of the village, and beyond that was a clear path toward the barrier. 

“Hello?! Emilia, Otto?! Ryuzu, Ram?! Erik!? Is anyone out there?!” A familiar voice shouts, shit, how could I forget? Subaru was standing on the stairs of the trial building, another part that hadn’t yet been invaded by the shadows. 

“What’s he shoutin’ for? Doesn’t that idiot know not to do somethin’ like that?” Garfiel grumbles. 

“We have to go help him, then we get the fuck out of here.” I hiss at Garfiel. 

“I wasn’t plannin’ on leavin’ him.” He growls back. We only looked away for a second, but that was all it took for the shadowy girl to approach Subaru and put her arms around him. It almost seemed like a hug, but Subaru was frozen stiff as the shadows started to climb up his body. 

“Let’s go!” Garfiel shouts, standing up and leaping down, hitting the ground between them with an axe kick, forcing the shadowy girl away as Subaru was swept up in the blast. I leapt down, quickly helping Subaru up. Before I can even turn around, I hear Garfiel curse. 

“We’re gonna jump!” He calls out. I nod and grab onto Subaru, tossing him up on my shoulder as he makes a noise of surprise. I follow Garfiel as he jumps up onto the top of the building and then off into the forest. I follow him as closely as possible, swirling mana around in my legs as I try not to slip on the tree branches. I can hear a crashing sound behind us and look back for a second to find shadowy hands destroying the trees we were just on. 

“Fuck, that’s terrifying!” I cry out, turning my head back forward to continue following Garfiel. We eventually stop on top of a house in the village. I place Subaru down and watch Garfiel’s expression change minutely as he takes in the area. The shadows are already up to the windows of the houses, even if someone was still alive in there, it’d be impossible to rescue them. 

“What’s going on? Why, why is she here? The Witch of Envy.” Subaru starts mumbling to himself as Garfiel scoffs. 

“Get off yer ass, I’m gettin’ you two out of here, then I’m gonna find a way to finish her off,” Garfiel says roughly. 

“Wait, you’re not leaving with us?!” I exclaim, shock lacing my tone. 

“I’m the protector of the Sanctuary, if I left without at least tryin’ to fight that thing off, I would be a failure.” He states. I open my mouth for a second to argue, but then close it; there’s no use. He wouldn’t listen to me if I tried, and besides, as long as he helped us get out of here, everything would be fine. 

“Huh? The bitch isn’t followin’ us?” Garfiel tilts his head and looks into the distance as the shadowy girl turns away from us, moving in a completely different direction. 

“Is she heading toward…the barrier?” I question, looking toward the direction she’s heading in. 

“The mansion…she’s heading toward the mansion!” Subaru shouts. 

“Shit, if she gets out, there’s no telling what she’ll do,” Garfiel grumbles. 

“We have to stop her,” Subaru states, finally moving to stand up. 

“W-what? Can’t we just leave? Take the time to reset, find people who can actually defeat her?” I try to reason. 

“It’ll be too late by then, she’ll already have reached the mansion,” Subaru argues. 

Just ignore him. If you keep moving, you can get out of here before her and be well on your way to safety. 

…I say you help defeat her; she’s not supposed to be here. 

Oh? So now you’re going to be contrarian? 

I’m just saying, if they can defeat her here, it’d be better for everyone. 

“Ugh, just shut up, you’re giving me a headache!” I shout, grabbing at my head. 

“Sorry…” Subaru apologizes. 

“Oh, uh, not you, sorry.” I apologize quickly, before realizing that there was nobody else here who was talking. The silence after is considerably awkward. 

“Let’s go, if we’re gonna get this done, we better hurry.” Garfiel waves us on as he jumps down from the house and onto the clear forest floor. I grab Subaru, helping him down as well as I can. Garfiel starts running through the forest, and Subaru and I are forced to follow. 

“She seems to want to follow me, maybe I can…” Subaru starts to say something, but is quickly cut off by Garfiel. 

“If yer gonna try and sacrifice yerself, I’ll punch yer face in. Everyone else got swallowed up, Ram blew us away with her wind before we even knew what was going on. I’m not gonna let their deaths be in vain for you to kill yerself.” Garfiel states, slowing to a stop. 

“It…swallowed them up? Everyone?” Subaru asks blankly. 

“Mhm, it happened in an instant, we barely had time to blink,” I reply, gritting my teeth. 

“Damn it, why does this always happen?” Subaru grabs his head, shaking it roughly as a rustling noise catches my attention. I turn my head to find a bunch of…Ryuzu’s? 

“What…what the hell?” I open my mouth wide in shock. 

“Ugh, I didn’t want ya to see this, I guess it’s too late.” Garfiel sighs. 

“Are these clones of Ryuzu?” Subaru questions. 

“Don’t worry, they’re not her, they don’t got anythin’ inside,” Garfiel explains. 

“I…what?” I sputter in confusion. 

“I’ll explain some things later.” Subaru pulls me aside to whisper in my ear. 

“Ooookay,” I answer. 

“What’s your plan?” Subaru asks. 

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m gonna bust through with sheer numbers.” Garfiel smirks. After that declaration, we moved into a position just ahead of where the shadowy girl was heading, hoping to cut her off. After a few minutes of waiting, she appeared through the forest with her shadows. 

“I love you.” Was the only thing she said. Repeated over and over again. Before my frozen body could even think to move, Garfiel had transformed, his body growing larger until he took the form of a giant tiger. I unconsciously flinched back at the form, biting my lip to try and recover. 

He launched himself at the shadowy girl, Subaru calling out “Wait!” in vain. He was caught between her shadows as she held him up in the air by his wrists and ankles. 

“Go!” He shouts, and the clones move forward, stepping closer to the shadowy girl before blowing up. The force is enough to cause the shadows holding onto Garfiel to dislodge, and he moves forward with his attack. 

“Wait, I don’t think you should-!” I try to move forward, but it’s too late. It always is; I can never arrive on time. A shadow pierces through his chest, before exploding into spikes sent all throughout his body. His transformation wears off as his body is thrown to the side by the shadows with a wet splat. 

I try to force my body to move, to use my daggers to cut through her, to do something, anything at all. But I can’t. It’s not fear, it’s not exhaustion or injury. What is it then? What stops me from moving forward? Ah, that’s right, it’s a memory, a memory of a crackling fire and a smiling girl. 

“W-what? W-why am I? W-who is?” A sharp pain shoots through my head, and I’m forced to my knees. 

“Erik!” Subaru is next to me in a second. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.” Over and over, the shadowy girl repeats herself. 

“Shut up! What do you know about love? Don’t say you love me after killing all the people I love. Compared to you, I’d have an easier time loving Echidna or any of the other witches!” Subaru shouts at the girl. There’s a pause, one where she stops talking, and I turn to Subaru in confusion. 

“How do you…?” Before I can finish my question, the shadowy girl swirls around, engulfing us in shadow. I can’t think, I can’t breathe, all I can do is float around in nothingness. All I can hear is I love you, repeated endlessly. Is this how everything ends? Am I just going to be stuck here forever? 

There’s a pain in my throat, and my mouth chokes up with blood. Of course, of course, something would happen. I can’t decide what’s worse: dying and having to go through everything again, or being stuck there endlessly, not being able to move as endless words of love rush through my mind until I waste away…still, it hurts. 

Of course, it hurts; death always hurts. If I were to get used to something like this, that’s when I’d know I’ve truly gone insane. And really, isn’t this just insanity? We keep going through the same loop over and over, hoping something will change. Ah, seriously, I don’t want to keep dying. Maybe…maybe I should listen, maybe I should try putting myself first for once. And then, there’s the same darkness that comes with every death.

Chapter Text

I open my eyes with shaking hands. I want to laugh, I want to cry, but nothing manages to come out of my throat as I stand there, staring blankly at my hands. I’m vaguely aware of my surroundings, vaguely aware that I’m back again. Again. I’m starting to hate that word now, again, again, again, again, why do I have to keep going? Keep trying for the perfect ending? I’m so sick and tired of it, of trying my best only for it not to be enough. 

So just do something different. 

Find a way out of this. 

For what happened next, I could blame the voices. I could blame the fact that I wasn’t really in the best state of mind. I could make as many excuses as I wanted to, but that doesn’t change the fact that it happened. As soon as I heard her voice, I gave up. I had to do it quickly, or else she would react. I gathered up the mana in my body, filtering it through my arm as I swiftly grabbed out one of my daggers and threw. 

It flew through the air. I’m sure they would’ve been able to stop it at any other time, after all, Garfiel was the protector of the Sanctuary, and she was probably a trained assassin. But as it stood, nobody expected it, so it hit its target. The dagger flew straight through her head, exiting the other side and sticking into a tree. 

“Kghk!” She manages to breathe out, somehow having the strength to glare at me as her body falls. 

“...What the fuck!” Garfiel swears, stepping away from her body. 

“Ah…seriously, why didn’t I do that sooner?” I mumble. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Garfiel growls, fixing me with a glare so sharp I almost winced. Almost. 

“Does it fucking matter? All this time she’s been pestering me, I can’t stand to be anywhere near her, she’s a fucking assassin who was planted here, I did you a favor.” I spit out, my face contorted into a frown. 

“You bastard! You can’t murder someone in front of me and expect to get away with it!” He shouts, stepping close to me and grabbing onto my shirt. 

“Like I said, what does it matter? Everyone’s going to be dead in a few days anyway.” I reply, a self-deprecating smile slipping onto my face. 

“Is that a threat?” He leans in close, and I can feel his breath splaying on my face. Too close. 

Just get rid of him too. 

He’s pretty strong, though. 

Nothing we can’t handle. 

I beg to differ. 

As the voices start arguing, I involuntarily frown. Seriously, don’t they understand it gives me a huge fucking headache when they do that? My eyes slide over to Ram, standing frozen to the side with a frown on her face, watching the altercation. 

“Whatever, I’m lockin’ you up, you’re not gonna touch another soul in the Sanctuary with yer filthy hands.” He grabs onto my arm, squeezing hard enough to make me hiss in pain. I could shake him off, I could just leave. But my eyes make their way back to her body, and I just feel empty. So instead, I let him lead me away. 

A few minutes later, he throws me roughly to the ground of the same prison area Subaru had been kept in before, the one I had been dragged to in the first loop. He ties up my wrists and legs, connecting my wrist ropes to something on the wall to keep me in place. 

“Yer sick, y’know that? Murderin’ people like that, murderin’ the people I was supposed to protect, fuckin’ bastard.” He curses, kicking over a box that was lying in the corner of the room. 

“I didn’t murder the other guy, Old Man Pak, I’ve never even met him.” And wasn’t that funny? I’ve never met the guy whom I so often get accused of murdering. 

“Just shut yer mouth, I’ll be back later to decide what to do with ya.” He huffs, leaving the room. And so I’m left alone with my thoughts, isn’t that just fucking great? I want to put my head in my hands, but they’re tied above me, so that’s not an option. I can feel tears starting to form, but I roughly blink them away. I’m not going to cry about something I got myself into. 

I was just so tired, I’ve been so…lonely, this entire time. Subaru was only here half the time, I’m getting headaches every other minute courtesy of the voices in my head, and I’m left feeling like I can’t connect with anyone. Every time I try, it gets erased, or I don’t try, and end up feeling worse about myself. I guess this is what I get for bottling everything up. 

The sound of footsteps rips me out of my musings, and I glance up to find Ram staring at me as she lightly opens the door and steps into the room. I don’t know what she’s here to say, I don’t know if I want to say anything to her, my head is a mess, and I can barely focus. 

“Why…why would you do something like that?” She questions after a beat of silence. 

“...I don’t know, I thought, maybe it would make everything stop, or make it better. I’m just so…tired.” I admit with a small voice. 

“That doesn’t give you an excuse to murder someone. I don’t know what you’re going through, but you’ve almost ruined everything. Miss Emilia, Barusu, and Lord Roswaal are now going to be in trouble because of your actions…I-I thought I could trust you, I thought you were my friends. How could you do this?” I watch in alarm as her emotions change rapidly, from anger to sadness to pleading. 

“I-I don’t know! What was I supposed to do?! What did you want me to do in that situation?!” My voice rises without meaning to, but I can’t stop it, finally voicing all my frustrations out loud. 

“I don’t know what situation you’re talking about. Nothing has happened to make you do this, nothing that would warrant this level of action. Just tell me why, tell me what happened, please.” She begs, blinking away tears. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her cry before. I’m suddenly hit with a strong feeling of guilt, the memory of her sister and everything that happened, how she would no longer remember someone so important to her. 

“I-I can’t…tell you. Fuck, I’m pathetic, aren’t I.” It’s not a question; I can only glance down at my lap as the tears finally fall from my face. 

“...Indeed.” It’s all she says before stalking out of the room. A curl of dread makes its way into my stomach, and I can’t help taking in a sudden gasp of air. This is it, I’ve really done it this time. I’ve fucked everything up. It doesn’t matter if it all goes away; I’ll remember, and Subaru will remember. Fuck, what am I going to do if he hates me? I don’t think I could take that. 

That’s when I hear a rush of footsteps as the door is thrown open and the man himself bursts into the room. He stands there, completely still for a second, and my breathing halts. Shit, I wasn’t ready for this, not yet, at least. The best I can do is calmly take a deep breath and prepare for the worst. And then…and then…

“I’m sorry.” Arms envelop me in a warm hug, and I completely freeze. This…isn’t what I expected at all. This isn’t what was supposed to happen. 

“W-what?” I croak out, confusion evident. 

“I’m sorry,” He repeats, “I didn’t know what was happening with you. I was so focused on finding out a plan for us to get out of here, no matter how many deaths it would take, I didn’t think about how that would make you feel. I should’ve been paying more attention, shit.” He curses. 

“What? No, no, you’re not supposed to be taking care of me. I mean, we look out for each other and everything, but I didn’t say anything, I didn’t tell anyone how bad I was getting, and I didn’t ask for help. I made my own choices; it's not your fault.” I reason. 

“Maybe, but I still should’ve looked out for you more. I mean, I’ve barely told you any of the information I’ve found out while you’ve been running around trying to save my ass time and time again. And I never checked in on you after the…,” He gulps, “Well, it doesn’t matter, the point is, I should’ve talked with you more and I’m sorry.” He sniffles, pulling back from me a bit. 

“Fuck off, I’ve kind of been avoiding you a bit. It’s not your fault, I’m an adult, I should act like an adult instead of sulking and bottling up my feelings…I’m just glad you don’t hate me.” I say softly. 

“You’re barely an adult, and I would never hate you for this. Though I don’t know how everyone else is going to react.” He sighs. 

“I think Ram already denounced our relationship. I really fucked up big time.” I give a short chuckle, though the situation isn’t funny at all. Subaru winces. 

“Well, I’m sure if we find a way to explain, we can fix it.” He tries, but I shake my head. 

“Just…try your best to figure out what’s going on. I’m sure you’ll do a better job now that I’m out of the picture.” I tell him. 

“Don’t…don’t say things like that, you’ve helped me a lot.” He states. 

“Are we sure about that? I haven’t found any new information, and when you were captured, Otto did most of the work. If you haven’t noticed, I’m basically useless.” I shrug. 

“You’re not useless, you notice things about people way before I do, and you’re a way better fighter than me. We have our strengths and our weaknesses; you can’t say you’re useless when all you’re looking at is the data of one day out of hundreds.” He says, flicking my forehead. 

“...I guess.” I reluctantly admit. 

“Good, then I’ll focus on trying to help you out of here and gathering information. I’ll tell you everything I learn in a bit.” He smiles, a bit of cheer back in his voice. 

“Alright, just be careful,” I warn as he stands up and sprints off toward the door. 

“I will.” He supplies. I shake my head fondly. Seriously, what did I do to deserve such a good friend? Fuck if I haven’t been a horrible one. The rest of the night passes slowly with no sightings of anyone else until Subaru returns just before dawn. 

“Alright, I have a bunch of new information. I guess I should start by explaining some things that have been going on.” He rubs the back of his head sheepishly, and I tilt my head in confusion. 

“Why do you sound like you’ve been hiding something?” I question, and he flinches. I narrow my eyes, and he lets out a sigh. 

“It’s not really my fault, I didn’t remember for a while, but anyway, just give me a second. Okay, so you know who made this place, right?” He asks.

“The Witch of Greed, Echidna, right? Roswaal mentioned it.” I reply. 

“Yeah, so I’ve kind of been meeting her, or something? That’s how I was allowed to take the trial and stuff. We’ve had a few meetings, and I’ve met a few of the other Witches as well. It’s still a bit confusing, and I don’t exactly know what she wants yet, but that’s been happening for a while.” He rambles on, his face flushing in embarrassment. 

“I’m not going to blame you for not telling me, it’s not that big of a deal. Plus, you didn’t remember in the first place…but Echidna, huh. Be careful around her; she seems nice, but she would do anything for knowledge.” I warn. 

“Huh? What? How do you know that?” Subaru questions with a tilted head. 

“Uhm, I don’t know, I just do,” I respond dumbly, a small headache popping up. 

She’s really clumsy too. 

“Right, well, it turns out that this place was Echidna’s lab when she was alive. And one of her experiments was Ryuzu Meyer. She wanted to be immortal, so she was trying to figure out a way to implant her soul into clones. That’s why there are so many Ryuzus; it didn’t work with Ryuzu Meyer, so she kept making more in hopes it would work.” Subaru explains. 

“That explains a lot, actually.” I sigh. 

“The only other thing I remember happening is that Frederica is Garfiel’s half-sister. She’s able to leave the Sanctuary because she’s only a quarter-blood.” He adds. 

“This is a real mess.” I huff. 

“You’re telling me.” Subaru chuckles. We sit in silence for a moment before Subaru opens his mouth to speak again, “I’m going back to the mansion in a few hours. I’ll do my best to make it out…but I can’t guarantee anything.” He reveals, fiddling with his fingers. 

“It’s fine, just do your best,” I say, giving him a light smile. 

“Mm.” He hums. With that, he leaves, and I’m left alone again. I could try to sleep, but really, I just want to cry. I know I’m bottling things up again, but what would even happen if I told Subaru I didn’t want him to leave? He wants to protect the mansion, and I can’t take that away from him by being selfish. 

What must’ve been a few hours later, loud, angry footsteps burst into the room. The door having been kicked open as Garfiel stands in front of me, his face twisted in rage. 

“Stupid, fuckin’, I can’t believe I let him leave. Where does that bastard get off sayin’ shit like that? How could someone like him know about our suffering, damnit!” He punches his fist into the wall, the room shakes, and it leaves a decent-sized dent. 

“What’s got you so wound up?” I really shouldn’t have asked, but even talking to an enraged Garfiel is better than stewing in my own thoughts. 

“Shut the fuck up, like I’m gonna tell a murderer like you.” He spits. 

“Not even to vent your feelings? And she was an assassin, the one who murdered Old Man Pak. I did you a favor.” I respond. 

“Hah! Like I’ll believe that…though I guess there’s no harm tellin’ ya, not like yer gonna be around for very long after everyone decides what to do with ya.” Garfiel mumbles. I can barely make out the words, but what I do hear makes me shift uncomfortably. 

“Fine, it was just something yer stupid friend said.” Garfield huffs. I’m assuming he means Subaru; there’s nobody else it could be. 

“He’s not stupid,” I say with a glare. 

“Remains to be seen, anyway, that bastard thought he could just leave the Sanctuary. So I went to stop him, the bastard claimed he wouldn’t harm the Sanctuary, acted like he knew everythin’. So I told him he couldn’t possibly know the hell and suffering everyone here has been through. And that bastard had the nerve to glare at me and tell me he knows what hell is like.” He grumbles. 

“Did-did you actually say that to him?” I ask, stuttering for a second. 

“Yes? What’s it to you?” He glares. I can’t help it, I burst out laughing. 

“Holy shit, did you actually say that to him? He’s one of the worst people you could say something like that to. You’re an idiot.” I chuckle, wheezing until I run out of breath. Garfiel’s face is completely red, his nostrils flaring. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you both. Yer both fuckin’ crazy.” He curses. 

“Almost, it’s getting to a point,” I mutter, not really meaning to say it out loud. Garfiel is silent for a second, I turn to look at him curiously only to find him watching me. 

“What?” I ask him, a bit more harshly than intended. 

“Why did ya do it. I mean, yer crazy, but ya don’t seem like someone who would do somethin’ like that.” He admits. 

“Huh?” My mouth hangs open in shock. 

“Don’t ‘Huh?’ me, it’s a genuine question.” He sputters. 

“No, I mean, I’m pretty sure you’ve always hated me and thought of me as a murderer. Why the fuck are you changing your mind now?” I question. 

“I’m not…ugh, look, I’m the protector of the Sanctuary, which means I make all the decisions about people’s safety here. I have to make decisions based on what I and the people here think is best, that doesn’t mean I can’t have an opinion about stuff. I just usually don’t mention it.” He explains. 

“So why mention it now?” I ask. 

“Ugh, do you ever run out of questions? I don’t know why I’m tellin’ ya this. It’s just a feelin’.” He grumbles. 

“Right. Well, I can’t give you a good reason why I killed her. I guess I was just tired, tired of doing the same thing over and over again, expecting something to change. I was going to go insane, so I made a bad decision. Not that she didn’t deserve it.” I add. 

“Whatever, I’ll see ya later.” He says, stopping for a second to glance back at me before moving on. Garfiel is…both predictable and unpredictable. Certain things make him lash out, but he also has consistently helped me almost every loop at one point or another. 

Even now, when I murdered someone right in front of him, he still talks to me like that. I don’t understand it. Alone again with my thoughts, I decide to try and drift off to sleep. I don’t want to sit here and overthink some more. As I try to calm my racing mind, filled with different thoughts and voices, I can’t help but send out a wish that maybe this time we’ll succeed.

Chapter Text

Time floats in and out after I manage to wake up. It couldn’t have been more than a few hours I slept, but it felt like it had been both longer and shorter. My body ached like it had been hit by a truck, contorted into an uncomfortable position to try to sleep. My head ached, a steady throbbing pulse as the voices hovered in the back, always muttering away in the background. 

While I slipped in and out of actually paying attention to my surroundings, I was firmly brought back into my body by the door slamming, announcing Garfiel’s presence. He definitely acted more on the dramatic side, playing up his actions and quoting random things here and there. 

“Something you need?” I question, frowning at the raspy quality to my voice. He stalks closer, and I spot some food and water in his hands. He shoves them onto the floor before roughly sitting in front of me. 

“Forgot to feed ya last night.” He grumbles. I glance down at the food and water, and then back up at him in quick succession. How does he expect me to eat this? 

“What!?” He growls, throwing me a glare. I move my hands slightly, drawing his eyes toward where they’re tied up above my head. He sputters for a second, his face turning red as I roll my eyes. 

“Either let me out of these or feed me yourself.” I offer, trying to keep the smirk off my face at his reaction. 

“Fine, but don’t ya dare try anythin’,” He huffs, moving to untie my wrists. When he does, I bring them down and rub at them, trying to get rid of the burning feeling, glaring at them when I am unsuccessful. 

“You know, I could get out of here whenever I wanted. I’m not that strong, but some ropes aren’t going to stop me.” I mumble, grabbing the plate with bread and cheese on it and moving it closer to me, placing it in my lap as I tear off a piece of bread and pair it with a small piece of cheese before shoving it in my mouth. 

“You’d still have to make it through the lookout up top, and I’m not far behind either. I’ve got eyes all over the Sanctuary, so don’t even try escapin’,” He says critically. I gulp down the food that was in my mouth before replying; it always helps to be polite. 

“By eyes, do you mean all those clones of Ryuzu?” I question. Garfiel pauses, a flash of surprise flickers across his face before it turns guarded. 

“How d’ya know that?” He asks, voice low. I beckon him closer, acting like I’m about to tell him my biggest secret. When he moves closer, hesitantly, I cup my hand around my mouth and whisper.

“Not telling.” He backs away with a growl of frustration as a small giggle escapes past my lips. Honestly, if we weren’t in this kind of situation, I probably would’ve enjoyed his company; he’s too easy to tease sometimes. There’s a beat of silence as I finish off the food and gulp down the water, but when I’m finished and Garfiel doesn’t immediately leave, I assume he’s here for something else. 

“The princess,” He starts.

“Emilia.” I immediately cut in. 

“-Emilia, she’s not doin’ too well. She said she’s goin’ to do the trial tonight but…fuck. Everythin’ here has been fucked up since that bastard and you guys came along.” He curses. I frown, silently contemplating what he said. Emilia isn’t doing well? Is this because of what I did, Subaru leaving, or something else? Well, there’s no knowing unless I talk to her, which is currently impossible. 

“You act like we wanted to hang around here. Did you forget that you were the one holding the villagers hostage? Or the fact that Emilia can’t leave. Not only that, but you seem rather partial to keeping us in rather than locking us out.” I point out. 

“Well, yeah, a threat I can see is better than one I can’t.” He quips, though the quote is something wildly different, I assumed that’s what he was going for. We fall into silence again, before Garfiel inhales lightly and continues to speak. 

“Why didn’t ya break out? Even if ya know about…the eyes, ya have no reason not to at least try and get out of here.” Garfiel turns to me with genuine curiosity in his expression. I take a moment to think about what I want to say. 

“I guess…I don’t see the point. I’ve already ruined everything; making it out of here won’t make me satisfied. Just because I’m alive doesn’t mean I’m happy. I don’t need a perfect ending, but leaving things like this just feels too cruel.” I explain, though I have no idea if he even understands what I’m talking about. 

“Hn, ya still don’t make any sense to me…but I think I understand where yer comin’ from.” He states after a beat of silence. It’s enough to make my eyes widen a fraction, but as I open my mouth to question him, I’m surprised by sharp pain in my head. 

“Wha-?” I don’t finish my words as I bring one of my hands up to my left forehead, I pull it back and stare at the dark blood dripping down. 

“Shit!” I curse. Knowing there’s only one thing that could cause this. I thought we had more time, though? Is this loop over already? I still don’t want to die. 

“Hey! You alright? What happened?” Garfiel asks, moving closer to inspect the wound. 

“It was-” Before I can even start explaining, pain bursts through my head, centered on my left eye. It’s a kind of white hot, all-encompassing pain I’ve come to know intimately. 

“Kgh!” I cry out, instantly clutching my hand to my eye. As I try to breathe through the pain, I can distantly feel hands on my shoulders and a voice talking in my ear, and when I finally move my hand away from my eye…

“I can’t see. I can’t see, I can’t see, what the fuck, fuck!” I can’t help the panicked nonsense that comes out of my mouth. My breathing picks up, and the only things I can focus on are that it hurts and I can’t see. It’s as I’m hyperventilating and everything starts sounding far away that I realize I’m passing out. 

“..., -ey! Hey!” I blink into awareness with a startle. Confusion rippling through me as I first realize I’m not in prison anymore. Then I realize my eye hurts, and that’s when the memories come back, and I scramble up, a hand immediately grabbing for my left eye. All I can find are bandages. 

“Hey! Don’t mess with those!” Someone scolds, and I turn to find Garfiel, sitting next to me with a glare. 

“W-what happened?” I ask, glancing at my surroundings in confusion. I seem to be in another house, and glancing out the window yields little results besides telling me it’s now night. 

“You started bleedin’ out of nowhere and passed out, I was worried ya were just goin’ to die in the prison and I couldn’t have that. So I brought ya here to get bandaged up.” He reveals. 

“You could’ve let me die, I’m sure nobody here would have a problem with it,” I reply numbly. 

“Well, maybe I’d have a problem with it, so there.” He scowls. The shock of it is enough to make me turn toward him with wide eyes. But he doesn’t say anything else about it, so I just sit there in silence. 

“How’d ya even get the wound anyway?” He eventually asks. 

“Wasn’t me, it was Subaru, connected by pain or some shit. He gets hurt, I get hurt, something as small as a papercut or as big as losing an eye.” I reply, the small joke I made ringing hollow throughout the room. 

“Can ya walk? The princess started her trial earlier, but I came back to check on ya.” Garfiel waves his hand lazily, like the words didn’t make the inside of my head twist in confusion. Why was he helping me like this? 

“Uh, yeah, I can probably walk,” I answer. The pain in my head hasn’t gone away, nor has the pain in my eye, but it’s much more manageable now. I follow after Garfiel as we walk out the door and into the…snow? 

My body stops in place, refusing to take a single step outside. 

“Why’s it snowing?” I ask, my voice wavering slightly. 

“You don’t like snow or somethin’?” Garfiel questions. 

“Just answer the question.” I snap. 

“...No idea, it doesn’t snow around here often.” He responds, turning away with a huff. Okay, this is alright, I’ll be fine. It’s not like one of the most painful things to ever happen to me happened in the snow. I can still hear the snap of bones and the wet crunching as they dug into me-

A hand on my arm. 

“Yer freakin’ out, let’s go,” Garfiel says harshly, pulling me out the door. I would almost think he was doing it to be cruel if it wasn’t for the comforting hand on my shoulder as he leads me out. When we stop in front of the trial building, a little girl with pink hair is already standing there. She gives no outward reaction to us arriving, so I’m assuming she’s one of the soulless clones. 

I don’t quite know how long we’re standing out there in the cold; my mind was wandering, trying not to focus on what happened the last time it snowed like this. I’m brought out of my musings as the door slams shut, and I glance up to find Subaru, his face blank with a jacket tied around his eye. 

I stumble forward, rushing to meet him, but his eyes slide past me. Something was wrong, something was very wrong. 

“What happened with yer eye? And where’s the princess?” Garfiel questions, not even asking how or when Subaru got back. 

“If you’re talking about Emilia, she said she loves me,” Subaru answers simply. I breathe in a harsh intake of air. 

“Huh?” Garfiel makes an affronted noise. 

“She said she loves me…and that as long as she has me, she doesn’t need anything else. That’s what she said.” He repeats, his voice low. 

“You bastard! Now isn’t the time for-!” 

“There’s no way she would ever say that!” Subaru shouts, finally turning to Garfiel, finally acknowledging someone. Garfiel pauses, his confusion evident. 

“There’s no way she would say something like that, to be pushed to the point of only relying on me, to think she can only love me, Emilia wouldn’t give up like that! Someone pushed her to that point!” Subaru cries out, falling to his knees. 

“Then, is she the one makin’ all this snow? Drag her out and make her stop.” Garfiel orders, I can’t stop the small squeak that comes from my mouth. My arms wrap around my sides as I start shaking. 

“No, no, no, no, I’m not going through this again. W-we have to leave, to get out of here…” I mumble quietly to myself as Subaru and Garfiel continue the conversation around me. 

“It’s not Emilia who’s making the snow. Take me to Roswaal.” Subaru demands. Garfiel pauses, then, turning toward me with a frown on his face. 

“Snap the fuck outta it, don’t go freakin’ out on us now.” He orders harshly, his hands slapping roughly down on my shoulders. 

“A-alright,” I answer, but I still can’t stop shaking, my hands fidgeting as I bring them down from my sides. 

“Getting an answer out of him is the last thing I need to do in this world.” It’s said quietly, but I can still hear it. Garfiel probably can too. Tears flow from my eyes, well, eye, of course, we’re already doomed. There’s no getting out of this one; we’re dying, again. When will it be over? 

“Fuck, let’s get goin’. There’s somethin’ wrong with you two, I swear.” Garfiel grumbles, all but dragging us along as we head toward Roswaal.

Chapter Text

Standing in Roswaal’s room is just as uncomfortable as it always is. I don’t want to be near the man currently, but the situation leaves no choice in the matter. I can barely think anyway. Subaru was gripping my hand tightly as he pulled me along into the room. 

“Hmmmm? Well, isn’t this an interesting grouuuuuup?” Roswaal smirks, his eyes trailing over us. Ram is standing to the side, her expression carefully blank. 

“Cut the crap.” Garfiel huffs. My eye starts twitching painfully, and I bring a hand up to rub against the bandages, hoping to soothe it. 

“You’re the one who’s been making it snow in the Sanctuary, right?” Subaru asks. Roswaal’s face falls as he turns to look at us. 

“Is that something you heard from me?” He questions. His eyes search Subaru’s, who takes a slight step back, uncomfortable from being stared at. 

“Hm? I see, well, that’s unfortunate.” Roswaal sighs. 

“You’re not even going to try and deny it?!” Garfiel shouts, gritting his teeth. 

“Well, I could try and feign ignorance, but you seem to have a reason for asking me this, so I suppose I shall respect it,” Roswaal states simply. I make a slight noise of outrage as I curl my fingers into my hand, digging sharp marks into the skin until Subaru grabs them and unclenches them. My headache is back in full force as I glare at Roswaal, the whispers in the back of my head growing louder. 

“Fuck off, if you want to play shitty games, I might as well pound your skull in!” Garfiel threatens, taking a step forward. 

“Stop, I will not allow you to insult Lord Roswaal like that.” Ram moves in front of Garfiel, taking a protective stance. 

“This isn’t the time to be protecting the bastard!” He takes another step closer. 

“Like you aren’t protecting someone? What happened to your claims of getting rid of the murderer? Back off, Garf.” Ram states, leveling me with a pointed look. Garfiel grits his teeth, looking back at me for a split second. I move my eyes toward the ground, a sense of guilt enveloping me. 

“I don’t want to have to take this out on you.” He growls, turning back to Ram. She opens her mouth to reply, and a wet, squelchy sound comes out instead. 

“Ram…you truly were an excellent servant.” Roswaal sighs. Blood pours out of Garfiel's mouth. My hands fly to my mouth in shock. I didn’t even see him move, but here he is, with his hand sticking through both Ram and Roswaal. 

“Ros-” Ram doesn’t get to finish. 

“I am a man of my word; I shall offer this soul to you,” Roswaal states, peeling his hand back and letting Ram fall forward onto Garfiel, who tumbles to the ground with her. 

“You…you…you bastard! What the fuck is wrong with you!” I cry out, grabbing onto his shoulders. Roswaal stares at me in disdain as Garfiel mumbles Ram’s name behind me, over and over again. 

“I asked what was wrong with you! How could you?” My hands shake as Roswaal wipes them off his body, pushing me backward. My knees are too weak to do anything but comply as I fall to the ground and stare blankly over at Garfiel, who is currently trying to heal Ram as he begins to transform. Roswaal steps forward, raising his leg, and kicks. Garfiel’s head is obliterated in a mess of blood and brain matter. A chunk falls off my face as I bring my hands up to wipe the blood off my face. 

“Now then, in accordance with my vow, shall we talk, Natsuki Subaru and Erinew?” Roswaal stated, turning to us. The name tickled something in my brain, and one of the voices moved to the front of my brain. 

Why does that bastard want to talk to me? 

Huh, does that mean that voice was named Erinew? The name feels familiar, but not in the traditional sense. It wasn’t like I’ve heard before in a book or a conversation; it was almost like…it was said in another lifetime. 

Flashes of visions? Memories? Race across my mind, my headache growing again. I could only pick out bits and pieces, but I could tell what it was. Memories, memories of another life that wasn’t mine. 

“What’d you do t’ me?” I slurred, glancing up at Roswaal. 

“Hm? I thought you knew already, I had Ram make you a special tea-” Roswaal starts. 

“I know about that already. What. Did. You. Do.” I demand gritting my teeth. 

“If you know that, then I am sure you know it is a tea to help activate the soul. You should simply be getting the memories left over from a previous life that didn’t get completely washed away.” Roswaal explains. 

“Memories…of a past life?” I repeat dumbly. 

“Indeed,” Roswaal answers simply. 

“Why…did you kill them?” Subaru suddenly says, I glance over at him. Before, he had been blankly staring at Ram and Garfiel’s bodies; now, he was staring at Roswaal. 

“They were interfering in our discussion; it was an awful thing to do to Ram, but had I not created an opening, I wouldn’t have been able to defeat him,” Roswaal states, glancing down at the bodies. 

“Huh?” Subaru exclaims, his eyes going cloudy. 

“Hm, an unexpected reaction, I would’ve thought you were going to fly into a rage from this.” Roswaal hums. I grit my teeth, putting a hand on my knee as I struggle to stand up against the memories that are now constantly flowing through my head. 

“Why do you always do this? Why? You did it before, too, manipulating others to get your way. Killing anyone who gets in the way. Why are you like this? I thought you were my friend?” The words coming out of my mouth don’t feel like mine, but they are, they’re mine, attached to some memory I don’t have access to anymore. 

“I am sorry that it came to that. But it was still too early; I needed you to be out of the picture until later. Looking at things now, it seems I made the correct choice.” Roswaal replies. 

“Whatever, I’m not talking to you about this anymore. You’re sick. Do you even understand the things you’re doing? We’ve tried over and over again to-” I’m cut off by Roswaal. 

“Over and over?” He tilts his head. 

“Shut up, just shut up! What are you trying to get at! Killing people like this over a conversation, what is wrong with you?!” Subaru suddenly shouts, turning to glare at Roswaal. 

“...Let me explain it simply, you two feel no grief over their deaths,” I make a small noise in my throat, but Roswaal holds up a hand for silence, “You feel shock, indignation, but no grief. Almost as if you are able to undo it all.” Roswaal smiles as Subaru and I freeze in shock. 

“You knew? You knew all this time and you still-!” Subaru is cut off as Roswaal moves toward the bed. 

“It is far easier if I show you.” He says, pulling out a small black book, “It is not one of those defective texts they call the Gospel, but instead the genuine article, of which only two exist.” He explains. 

“You have one too?” Subaru questions. 

“It appears I need not explain who has the other one. I assume she has fulfilled her dearest wish to disappear?” Roswaal asks, turning to Subaru. 

“Huh? Dearest…wish? You mean dying like that was her dearest wish?! Are you kidding me?!” Subaru shouts. I don’t know exactly what he’s talking about. Whatever happened at the mansion this time, it hadn’t gone well. 

“Indeed, that is what she wanted. Ah, I envy her; it seems I am incapable of fulfilling my dearest wish.” Roswaal sighs. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you.” It comes out as more of a rage-filled chuckle than a genuine question, but Roswaal answers it anyway. 

“I cannot say. I have made a vow of my own. I can, however, tell you that I am constantly doing my utmost to fulfill my dearest wish. Every scheme I hatch, every person I offer my support to, it is for that purpose,” He replies. 

“You’re following that book, too. Did it tell you to make this snow? Why?!” Subaru cries out desperately, pointing outside the window. 

“Why else? Isn’t it obvious? It is to isolate Miss Emilia.” Roswaal answers. 

“What?” Subaru and I exclaim at the same time. 

“An unseasonal snowstorm in a place with a deep connection to the witch. Garfiel would condemn her, and the villagers would be stuck inside due to the cold spell. Miss Emilia would then become isolated and emotionally unstable.” Roswaal explains. 

“Wait, is that why you hired them? Is that why that bitch Renee is always accusing me?” I turn to Roswaal. 

“Correct. I gave her detailed instructions for different scenarios, but she always has a tendency to do things her own way. It is unfortunate she died so early, though the effect was much of the same.” Roswaal states. 

“Are you serious?” Subaru questions, shock bleeding into his tone. 

“I knew if you had stayed, you would help her, so I made sure that wasn’t a problem as well,” Roswaal replies. Subaru’s eyes widen as he seems to realize something. 

“Is that what you did to my letter?” He asks. 

“Letter? Hm, in any case, your current selves cannot bring about the future indicated in the text. If there is a discrepancy, it must be corrected.” Roswaal says, moving forward, past me and toward where Subaru is, by the window. 

“Are you going to kill us?” Subaru questions, wary. 

“That would be putting the cart before the ground dragon. I need you both to be ready to try again at the next opportunity. I cannot kill you, but there are other things I can do. Am I wrong?” He tilts his head before placing a hand on Subaru’s shoulder and punching him in the gut. All the air is drained out of me as I sink to the floor, groaning in pain. 

“Considering the future you and I share, this may not be the smart thing to do. Did I use that correctly?” The word he used was in English. Subaru had a habit of blurting out random things in English, even though nobody but him and, to a certain extent, I could understand. 

It was a weird thing to be focusing on right now, as Roswaal kicked Subaru to the floor, raining blow after blow on him as I curled in on myself, every fraction of pain extending to me. When we got to this world, everyone spoke the same language as us. But we couldn’t read any of the words. Did that mean everyone in this world spoke Japanese? Or is it something else?

“Hm? Even after all this, you have no mind to start over?” Roswaal questions. It’s then that it hits me, Roswaal has no idea, he has no clue how we start over. He’s been doing all of this, causing all of this, thinking we can do it on a whim. I would’ve laughed at the absurdity if I weren’t doubled over in pain. 

“Roswaal…you’re talking of starting over, but planning what you do to someone on the assumption that they start over is insane.” Subaru grits out. Roswaal doesn’t reply; instead, he glances out the window. 

“It seems the time for our discussion is over.” He states. I hear the sound of the window breaking as Roswaal blasts some fire at the figure. I glance down to see a rabbit, burnt to a crisp. I make a small noise of alarm. 

“I see, I see, so this is how it ends.” Roswaal mumbles before grabbing me and Subaru and hoisting us out the window and onto the snow. I shake my head, disoriented, before raising it up and freezing as I spot the rabbits. 

“The Great Rabbit…but it’s only the second day,” Subaru mutters. 

“It is likely due to the snow.” Roswaal steps out between us as I struggle to my feet. 

“Daphne said the Great Rabbit is drawn to large amounts of mana…” Subaru trails off in thought. 

Daphne, how does he know that name? 

The second voice made an appearance again. The first one had all but disappeared; instead, it was replaced by painful swirling memories. The second voice is probably the same as the first one…a past life, one of mine. The situation didn’t allow me to think about it for too long, but it was long enough for me to accept it as fact. The second voice was gone, just like that, and a new set of memories was added to the mix. These were more painful, but they soon disappeared, too. It was too confusing for me to even try to picture what was in them, and they soon got buried in my mind. 

“Roswaal, we have to make a truce. We need to get Emilia and everyone out.” Subaru says urgently. Roswaal only shakes his head. 

“How would we do that? They can’t leave the Sanctuary until the trial is complete.” Roswaal explains. 

“But…there has to be something we can do, I’m not done yet! You might think it can wait until next time, but…” Subaru is cut off. 

“There is something you seem to be mistaken about. Perhaps you two can start over, but I cannot. My present self will end here, but that is fine. Another me will be waiting for you when you start over, and so long as that me fulfils my goal one day, it will make no difference.” Roswaal states. 

“That’s insane, you’re insane. No normal human thinks that way!” I cry out. 

“I look forward to the day you catch up to me, old friend.” The words make me flinch back, a scowl on my face. 

“And Subaru, if there is one thing that is truly, truly precious to you, you must give up everything but that one thing. Think of nothing but protecting that one precious thing. By doing that…” Roswaal is interrupted as a rabbit jumps up, biting a section of flesh out of his neck, “You can become like me.” He finishes, staring at Subaru as the rabbits swarm him, biting his body to bits. 

“Go, go, we need to get out of here.” I start pushing Subaru while the rabbits are distracted by the feast in front of them. 

I wish I could say we made it. But we don’t, we arrive at the trial building…barely. Our bodies are torn to shreds, only the magic of the trial building itself keeping us from getting in. The pain only increases when we get inside. I’m not meant to be in here. I collapse, and Subaru has to drag me across the ground, the blood leaving stains on the stone floor. 

He sets me up on the wall, giving me a clear view of the room and the person inside it. It’s Emilia…but not. The look in her eyes…it makes me shiver unconsciously. My eyelid droops as I struggle to stay conscious. I can only watch as Subaru is placed on her lap, blood leaking out of his body as he finally collapses. 

Emilia is talking, but my ears don’t register any of the words. My consciousness is fading each moment, and I can barely focus on anything as the world around me has become completely void of any colors. The last thing I see before death takes me once again is Emilia leaning down to place a kiss on his lips.

Chapter Text

As I blink my eyes open(eyes, my eye is back), I’m not assaulted by the usual phantom pain. Instead, I get actual pain as my head threatens to tear itself apart with memories. Memories that are mine, but aren’t, and even trying to comprehend one just makes my head ache more. I must’ve stumbled, because the next second, Ram is at my side. 

“Are you alright?” She questions, it’s almost enough to make me cry. Despite dying almost more times than I can count, seeing one of my best friends die like that still hurt. 

“Yeah, just got…headache,” I respond, not having the energy to think about my words for more than a second. My head is throbbing painfully as the memories flit around my brain. I can only grasp it for one second, and then it’s gone, disappearing somewhere for the time being. 

“Do you need to go back?” Ram asks. I think about it for a second, and it would probably be better to stay here and wait for Subaru, so we could discuss things some more. But what would be the point? My head is hurting too much to actually have a decent conversation. 

“Yes, please,” I say instead, letting Ram guide me through the forest and back toward the village. Reaching the house, Ram opens the door for me and drops me on the bed. I stifle a small groan at the rough treatment. 

“I need to head back to watch over Miss Emilia, but if this continues tomorrow, I will talk to Lord Roswaal and Garf about getting you medical treatment.” Ram states. Her voice is clinical and clipped, but I can hear the touch of worry; it makes me grin a little. 

“Don’t worry about me, I’ve gotten through much worse,” I tell her ruefully. 

“I’m not worried, but it wouldn’t suit you to die in such a stupid manner.” She sniffs. I manage to huff out a laugh at that, which satisfies Ram enough for her to leave. I place my hands over my eyes, closing them in an effort to ease the headache. It doesn’t really work, but I find myself slipping away into unconsciousness anyway. 

My dreams…if you can call them that, they’re more like memories, are messy and confusing. Whenever I’m about to understand something, it slips away and presents me with another memory. When I wake up, for a second, I’m not even sure I am awake. The headache has lessened, and the flashes of memories are all but gone. I can still feel them, though, just behind the surface, waiting for something to trigger them to the forefront. 

At first, I couldn’t tell what had woken me up. It was a feeling of wrongness that permeated throughout my body. I couldn’t figure out where the feeling was coming from. I could only glance around in confusion. Subaru wasn’t there, so either everyone was still at the meeting, or he never came back. 

I slipped out of bed, moving to the front door. It was better to check for myself. The light wasn’t on when I reached where Roswaal was staying, so I walked through the village. Everyone seemed to be asleep, so I headed to the trial building. It was glowing when I reached it, but nobody was in sight. That couldn’t be a good sign, but before I could take a step forward, the world around me blinked. 

“Carmilla’s ‘Faceless Bride', it makes one forget to breathe in her presence. In the end, it even makes your heart stop beating.” A feminine voice explains clearly, though the meaning behind it is lost on me. It’s bright, and I’m standing in a grassy field with no clue of how I got here. 

“What the hell have you been plotting, Echidna?” I turn slightly to acknowledge where the voice has been coming from. I spot Subaru, kneeling on the ground, just behind him is a table with a sun umbrella above it, a woman with white hair and a black dress sits there, staring at Subaru with a masked expression. 

She’s…familiar, I know her. Or, more like, I knew her. Echidna, the Witch of Greed. Except…it’s not really her. I catch the moment she notices me easily, the minor change in her expression, from surprise to annoyance, and then back to that calm mask. 

“I don’t recall giving you permission to enter here…interesting.” She smiles. 

“Have you been having meetings with her?” I ask, turning to Subaru, who looks extremely confused that I’m here. 

“Uh…yes?” He answers it like a question. I simply sigh and help him up. 

“How did you get involved with someone worse than Roswaal?” I mutter, shooting the witch I’ve been ignoring a glare. 

“That’s rude, I’m a delicate girl, you don’t have to be so mean.” She sniffs, fake hurt on her face. 

“What is this place?” I ask, changing the subject as Subaru sits down in a chair across from her. I do not doubt that she could conjure up one for me as well, but she chooses not to. 

“This is the world within which my soul resides. I can control anything and anybody here, which means I can easily make you leave and forget you ever encountered me here.” Echidna states, a warning edge to her tone. 

“You just said you didn’t bring me here, I’m willing to bet you can’t make me leave either,” I say smugly. She frowns, just a little at that. 

“Perhaps not, but it doesn’t matter. I can simply will you away while I have a conversation with our dear friend here, you wouldn’t want that, would you?” She purrs, now it’s my turn to frown. 

“Why did you do something like that?” Subaru cuts in, glaring at Echidna. 

“It was the most effective method; if I left you to continue, your mind would’ve worn away to nothing in the trial,” Echidna answers, almost sounding concerned, though it was as fake as everything else about her. 

“What happened?” I question Subaru; he looks a bit uncomfortable, but explains anyway. 

“I wanted to take the second trial, after what happened with Emilia, but what I saw…” He shakes his head, as if willing away the bad memories, “Anyway, suddenly, Rem was there, only it wasn’t Rem, it was another girl pretending to be Rem, I got mad and then I couldn’t breathe and then I was brought here.” Subaru explains. I nod my head, thinking. 

The girl here is Echidna, but also not. The real Echidna looked different, and there was something about this one; she seemed almost…crueler. Which was a weird thing to think about, both in the fact that Echidna could be very cruel when she wanted to be, and also in the fact that I knew what Echidna was like. 

“Well, I suppose I should answer the question on your mind right now.” Echidna interrupts my musing with a pointed glance at Subaru. He straightens, looking mildly perturbed as she continues to speak. 

“Allow me to explain the trial. Just like the first one, the trial puts you in a world recreated by your memories. It’s a thoroughly well-constructed unreality.” Echidna explains. 

“Then-” Subaru starts, only to get cut off. 

“However, your Return by Death is the Witch of Envy’s Authority; only she knows whether the things you saw in the second trial happened in some reality.” Echidna finishes. I’m almost startled that she knows about our ability, but knowing Echidna, it definitely tracks. 

“You mean all that stuff might’ve actually happened?” Subaru asks worriedly; he’s fidgeting now. I have no idea what he saw in the second trial, but it must’ve been bad. 

“I’m only saying it’s a possibility, instead of counting the many people you have failed to save, just think about the ones you have.” She says positively, like it’s encouraging. I don’t miss the way she says many, she’s taking at least some enjoyment out of Subaru’s distressed state. 

“Idealistic cliches like that don’t help.” Subaru huffs. 

“Don’t be like that. I know how much of yourself, both physical and mental, that you’ve given to survive this far. You arrived at this moment by doing everything in your power; none of your experiences up until this point have been a waste. Even at the risk of your own life, that’s something to take pride in.” She smiles. It makes me sick; every single word of hers drives home the point that she’s trying to manipulate him. 

“Why do you keep trying to help me like this?” He sounds distrustful, but goes far enough to call it help. I can’t believe this was happening right under my nose, though, knowing Echidna, that was on purpose. 

“You call this help? She’s just trying to manipulate you; that’s what she does. She doesn’t care- can’t care about you.” I tell him. 

“Here you are being rude again, and I thought it’d be nice to visit with an old friend.” She pouts. 

“You’re not my friend, you’re…different,” I reply. 

“Well, that’s really rude. Clearly, we’re both different from how we were.” Echidna huffs. 

“Echidna, why are you doing all this?” Subaru asks, a bit tiredly, bringing the discussion back to the main topic. 

“Ah, it makes me feel a little shy to have you asking me so bluntly, but I suppose I can say it if you want to know. Ahem, would you be willing to form a contract with me, Natsuki Subaru?” The sudden question has both of us reeling, though I’m a lot more tense about it. Not a single good thing can come of this. 

“A…contract?” Subaru questions. A feeling of dread curls around me. I go to say something, but Echidna gives me a warning look. It’s almost too quick for me to notice, there and gone, but if I move or say anything, she’ll send me away so I can’t interfere. 

“Yes, a formal contract with the Witch of Greed, would you enter one with me?” She asks again. 

“What happens if I do?” Subaru ventures, I want to tell him no, to just grab him and get him out of here. There’s no way this witch has anything good in mind when it comes to contracts. 

“It’s very simple, from now on, if you ever run into an obstacle that you can’t overcome, I’ll be there to support you. Even when you’re feeling crushed by the weight of your own sins, I will help you. I’m confident in the amount of knowledge I have; I should be able to come up with a way for you to deal with any problem. Above all, I can share in your Return by Death ability.” She explains, and I can’t help but liken her to a shifty car salesman. 

“What, you’re actually telling me the selling points of making a contract with you?” Subaru seems surprised she would describe it at all. 

“To me, it’s better if you know what you’re getting into, plus, it might steer you toward agreeing. It’s all calculated.” That last part is said with the same blank smile she’s had the entire conversation. It makes a chill run through my body. 

“That might not be such a bad idea.” The words are said so casually, the fear welling up so suddenly that I forcefully bite down on my lips, causing them to bleed, and getting Subaru to glance over at me. But before I can say anything, Echidna butts in between us. 

“Really!? Does that mean you’ll do it!? Uh…I mean, ahem, if you absolutely insist, I wouldn’t mind entering a contract-” She fumbles, I can’t tell if the clumsiness is just an act or if she was actually eager enough to forget herself. Knowing her from before, I might say it’s the latter. 

“It’s a little late to play it cool, anyway. How would we even form a contract?” Subaru questions. 

“No, absolutely not, you cannot form a contract with this witch!” I shout, brushing past Echidna and grabbing Subaru’s shoulders. Before I even get the chance to blink, the world around me has completely shifted. I strain my eyes, glancing around, and spot the table, ever so far in the distance. 

“Shit, shit, shit!” I cry out. There’s no way I would make it in time. If he accepts that contract, who knows what’ll happen? 

“Looks like you and your friend are in need of some help!” A voice rings out behind me, and I turn to find a woman standing there. She has blonde hair held up in a ponytail and is wearing a white and purple outfit decorated with hearts. My brain supplies the name and title, Minerva, the Witch of Wrath. 

“Uhm?” Before I have the chance to say anything, she grabs onto me, wrapping her arm around my waist. 

“Sorry about this!” She cries out before launching into the air. I close my eyes against the wind, when suddenly, we smash into the ground. She lets go of me, and I stumble to the side, dizzily trying to make out where we are. I can see Subaru and Echidna; the table is on its side, presumably where it got launched after Minerva crashed into the ground. 

“I’m gonna have to put a stop to that contract!” Minerva demands, glancing up at Subaru and Echidna with tears in her eyes. 

“The Witch of Wrath?!” Subaru exclaims. 

“Hmm? So you’re after him too, jealous much?” Echidna teases.

“Stop teasing me! I’m outraged, I’m indignant, I’m absolutely boiling with anger!” Minerva claims, waving her arms around in the air. 

“I have to agree with her, I can’t believe you teleported me away like that.” I shoot Echidna a glare. 

“How is she even here? I thought you had to switch places with them?” Subaru questions Echidna. 

“That’s a lie! She’s an evil jerk who messes with people like that for no reason.” Minerva accuses. I nod my head in agreement. 

“I didn’t want the other witches to start popping into existence to try and take you from me,” Echidna explains. 

“Stop being taken in by all her smooth-talking! It pisses me off! She hasn’t even told you what parts of the contract would be bad for you!” Minerva stomps, creating cracks in the ground as she rages, tears freely flowing from her eyes. 

“She’s right, you know, taking a contract of Echidna’s is a bad idea. She lives for knowledge and nothing else; she doesn’t experience human emotions as other people do. She’s willing to lie and manipulate you in order to get what she wants.” I tell Subaru, pointing an accusing finger at Echidna, who just lets the insults roll off her. 

“What does she mean when she says ‘bad for me’?” Subaru asks Echidna. 

“Hmm, she’s just talking about your payment for contracting with me, though calling it a bad thing is a bit of an exaggeration if you ask me.” Echidna sighs. 

“What do you want then? What’s the payment?” Subaru questions. 

“It’s simple, everything you feel, everything you think, everything that remains in your heart, the future as you know it, anything you accomplish, all the potential within you, all the fruit of the unknown that is borne from your very existence…I want a taste of it.” She states. 

“T-that’s all true, b-but don’t assume that she just t-told you everything…” A young and shy-sounding voice has everyone’s attention turning to the newcomer. She has pink hair, red eyes, and a green scarf. I recognize her as Carmilla, the Witch of Lust. 

“E-echidna isn’t lying…but there’s a lot…she’s hiding from you…” It seems to take most of her will to even get the sentence out. She looks about two seconds away from sobbing hysterically. 

“Don’t bother listening to these three, Natsuki Subaru. Once you form a contract with me, I will, without fail, guide you to the future you desire.” Echidna entices. 

“This wouldn’t be the promise you always precede with ‘In the end…’ would it?” Another voice, this time from a woman lying on the ground, with long magenta hair spread around her, wearing a black dress. Sekhmet, the Witch of Sloth. 

Seeing all these ‘familiar’ faces was making my head ache all over again. Memories of a time I shouldn’t be privy to are rushing through my head. There seemed to be two categories of memories. Ones that came to me easily and were gone the next, leaving my head as peacefully as they had come. And others, which entered violently, not giving me enough time to comprehend them before leaving, much the same way. 

“Who are you?” Subaru questions Sekhmet. 

“The Witch of Sloth, Sekhmet. Just letting you know my name for the record and all. I’m only here as a watchdog to preserve the fairness of this place. But I will fulfill my obligation to her.” Sekhmet answers. Now it was just getting confusing; there were too many witches, and it was starting to hurt. 

“Oh! Baru, you’re here, ah, I haven’t seen you in a while!” A childish voice greets. I turn around and find myself looking at a child with short green hair and a white dress filled with flowers. 

“Typhon.” I nod to her, and she brightens up. 

“It’s been a while since we’ve had a tea party. We even have some familiar faces, I see. You should’ve invited me.” A childish voice pouts. The next one to pop up is shackled in a moving coffin. Daphne, the Witch of Gluttony. That amounts to six witches and the dull throbbing in my head returning full force. 

“Hey, hey, are you alright?” Typhon asks, bounding up in front of me with a frown on her face. 

“Yeah, just a headache,” I reply gently, though it only got worse with her proximity. 

“Typhon, back off, can’t you see you’re hurting him. His soul is incomplete, so reminding him about stuff is only gonna make it worse.” Minerva scolds. I send her a grateful look when Typhon backs off with a pout. 

“What the fuck is happening? Why are you all here?” Subaru finally questions; he looked like he was about to get a headache as well. 

“I believe I told you already, it’s the promise that’s always preceded by ‘In the end…’,” Sekhmet trails off. 

“In the end…,” Subaru pauses for a moment, thinking about his next words as everyone else watched in silence,” Echidna, you said you’d guide me to the best possible future, didn’t you?” He turns to the witch then, waiting for her answer. 

“Yes, I did. It was true.” She replies simply. 

“And with your help, would I arrive at the best possible future by following the best possible path?” He asks, keeping his wording clear. A few seconds pass by, and then a few more. Echidna doesn’t say anything. 

“Well? Why aren't you saying anything!? Answer me, Echidna!” Subaru demands. 

“For the purpose of attaining the future you desire, you must accept any sacrifices made along the way. Is that not the resolution you made, Natsuki Subaru?” Echidna questions. 

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!” Subaru shouts, holding up a hand to his head in confusion, trying to understand what is happening. 

“No, I will not wait. You are the one who needs to understand better. Just think about it! The Return by Death Authority you possess is a tremendous thing. You do not fully understand how truly useful it is. It allows you to restart the world all you want until you reach your desired future. It’s the embodiment of the ultimate ideal any seeker could wish for!” 

“Of course, I won’t force you to Return by Death. You will use it to achieve the result you desire, and I will lend you all the wisdom you need to fulfill your wish. I expect all the results that come about in the process to contribute vastly to the satisfaction of my curiosity. We will agonize over, struggle with, and solve the same problems together.” 

“We will have the optimal relationship to achieve that! I want you to use me to achieve your best possible future, too. My maidenly heart’s affection for you and desire to help you are real. I’d be more content to have you treat me as a convenience. If it’s what you want, you’re welcome to use my body for your comfort. I gladly offer it to you!” 

“I will give you the strength to move forward with my words. Whether you want comfort, motivation, or love, or even hatred, I will give it all to you. I can give it all! You like girls who give you everything, don’t you? You need me! No one but you can satisfy my curiosity now. If you use your power to save someone, I want you to save me. I cannot control my own greed!” 

“No matter what happens, I will guide you to the future you desire. I swear it! I absolutely swear it! And the Sanctuary’s liberation lies beyond that. You can save everyone trapped there-all those you care about! For that purpose, I want you to take me, use me, and rob me of all the greed you want, so we can take hold of our future! That is all I want of you, all I desire from you, and all I offer in return.” 

“I have now told you everything…truly, every last detail, with passion. This might be close to love. It’s a vow of love! And how will you respond to my love? I want your answer! That is one of the answers that will satisfy my curiosity, after all.” 

All that follows after that is complete and utter silence. Everyone is staring between Echidna and Subaru, simply waiting for an answer. 

“Echidna…” Subaru starts. 

“Yes?” She blinks. 

“You’re going to use me?” He asks. 

“I am. And you can do the same to me. That’s what this contract is for. If you want to criticize me for using it as a means to keep you as my own, I’ll accept that. It’s the truth, after all.” The words make me shudder. 

“It’s not as if I never considered that your intentions might not be a hundred percent good. But…that’s just way pale!” Subaru clutches his hands to his face. I move closer and wrap an arm around him for comfort. 

“I don’t quite understand what you find so problematic,” Echidna says simply. 

“Everything about your attitude is so infantile and shallow. It’s all completely superficial. When you laugh, even when you’re mad, your attitude is…you’re incapable of understanding how anyone else feels!” Subaru yells out, glancing at her expression. There’s nothing, not even a minute change. Echidna has always been like this; every expression she makes is one only to have other people understand her better. Just another manipulation tactic. 

“I see. You have taught me much; next time I will keep that in mind.” Echidna answers, snapping her fingers. The grass that was blown away by Minerva appears again, and the table is fixed, this time with extra chairs.  

“Why not have a seat? I’d like to discuss our contract a bit more.” Echidna urges. 

“I just remembered, there was one thing I wanted to ask when I saw you again,” Subaru states, staring straight at Echidna. 

“Hm? What is it?” Echidna asks. 

“Once I hear your answer, I think I’ll be able to make a choice. You know Beatrice, don’t you?” He questions. 

“Yes, I do. I was deeply involved in her birth.” Echidna replies. 

“Beatrice has lived her life under a contract forcing her to wait for ‘that person’. I believe that contract was with you.” It’s not a question. 

“True, I’m the one who ordered her to protect the forbidden library and await the one who would come for her. Then, who is ‘that person’? How can I set her free?” Subaru finally asks. 

“Good question. Whoever could it be?” The answer makes my blood run cold. Subaru makes a noise of outrage. 

“What!? You mean you don’t even know who Beatrice is waiting for!?” He exclaims. 

“I really don’t know,” Echidna says plainly. 

“But…why? Weren’t you the one who told her to wait for them?” He questions desperately. 

“I think you’ve had a misunderstanding. I didn’t force Beatrice to make that promise so she’d give the forbidden library to ‘that person’. That wasn’t my goal at all. By making her promise to wait for ‘that person’ to come to her, I want to find out who she will choose to be ‘that person’. Of course, her staying there for four hundred years without choosing anyone is the result of that.” 

“Her inability to choose anyone so easily all this time and wanting to die as she agonized over whether to keep upholding the contract or not are also results of that,” Echidna reveals. 

“And how do you feel about that?” Subaru asks. 

“I think it’s wonderful.” She responds. Of course, what else would she respond with?

“Echidna…you are a witch, you embody the very meaning of the term, and I will not take your hand. I know whose hand I want to take. There is a girl who’s been tied down by the words you spoke out of pure curiosity without malice. My mind's made up. I’m going to take her hand. Not yours.” Subaru rejects her completely. I can’t help but feel proud of him; not a lot of people would turn down that offer even after hearing the consequences. 

Of course, that’s when she arrives.