Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“euugh,,” steven groggily sat up from his bed, putting his hand to his head, wishing he had just gone back to bed, but he got up anyway, ‘what,- what time is it?’ steven thought to himself as he grabbed his phone from the nightstand, 

“10:34 AM, sunday, hm?,,” steven sighed as he turned off his phone and shoved it into the pocket of his pajama pants, steven didn’t care for changing into new clothing, he was comfy, didn’t smell like shit, he’s fine, 

a small smell of bacon filled stevens nose, ‘is- is someone there?,,’ steven thought again as he moved from the doorway of his room into the kitchen, “no ones here,,” steven commented, ‘no shit,’ he replied in his mind, steven walked over to the coffee machine, prepping himself, well, a coffee??, anyway ‘i wonder where the boys are, probably out somewhere- NO SHIT STEVEN!! THEY WOULDN’T BE SLEEPING IN LIKE YOU-’ steven starting shaking those thoughts away before it escalated to something he wouldn’t be happy about, not like he was happy anyway, it just wasn’t the same as it was when he was younger, nothing was.

“its so quiet,” steven muttered, whispering even, reminded him of times he would make himself little meals at home when the gems were gone when he was 13, watching that dumb show, what was it again?, ‘lonely blade’?? yeah yeah whatever, steven cringed, reflecting on the old actions he used to do, ‘ god i was such a loser, ‘ steven kept thinking, 

and thinking, 

and thinking.

sigh.

“OW-ow ow, ssshhnn,,, fuck,,” steven shook his hand as the hot coffee burned his hand, he was stirring too vigorously, some got on him, “mmhm,,” steven healed his hand, 

11:18, AM,

steven sat on the couch, how long has he been sitting there for? he was staring into nothing, it was all so dull to him, everything was, each day was just starting to repeat, over and over, sometimes, he missed fighting different gems each week, it was always something to look forward too, but, i guess he looked to far, 

nothing was fun anymore like it was before,

i mean, the band was fun as shit, but, y’know what he meant, ‘ missions, gems, homes, ‘ those 3 words wouldn’t leave stevens head, why? he wanted them to leave so bad, spiraling in his head, steven felt like he was going to rip his hair out, currently just tugging, 

‘ gems ‘ 

gems, the gems, th- the gems, THE GEMS! 

‘ the gems ! haha ! right, i-i wonder how they are,, i haven't contacted them in a bit, (and maybe this can get the other thoughts about them off my mind.) ‘ stevens head finally started working in the way he wanted, 

‘ wait,- wait wait-’,, steven stopped, ‘oh my god,’ steven came to a conclusion, “LION !!!” steven ran from the living room and bursted thru his bedroom door,

Chapter Text

steven bursted thru the door of his room, seeing the one thing he wanted to see at that moment, ever since stevens,, err,, ‘meltdown’  almost a year back, lion stayed with steven, like a emotional support animal! steven loved that, as steven approached the large feline, petting its soft fur,, comforting,, how? steven isnt sure, but thats okay i guess,, 

“hey buddy,, could you,, do something for me?,,” steven had asked the feline, as lion huffed at him, he stood up, and glanced at steven, steven smiled softly, ”could you,, err.. take me to the moon base?,, ill buy you some more lion lickers?,,” steven shrugged, trying to potentially bribe the animal, little did he know lion already agreed, lion nods, stevens face lit up, as he hopped on lion, lion makes a portal and jumps into it,

like, uhm,, 10 minutes later??

as lion finally comes out the portal, sliding out till he hit the wall, panting as steven got off lion, petting his mane, once he was done with that, steven starting going up the stairs,, once he got off the stairs, he was staring at it, the observation orb, he hadn’t seen it since he found lapis here, he approached the orb, staring at it in awe, once he finally reaches the said orb, he gets on his knees in front of it, selecting the place he wanted to observe, beach city, he looks around,

“not much has changed,, i think,” he decided to go to little homeschool, noticing peridot on her way to show some gems the little greenhouse she had, he smiles, as he looks around more, he notices more newcomers etc,, the place looked even more alive without him their, aleast, thats what HE thought, steven thought to himself as he selected the beach house as the next place he wanted to visit , it was so empty , quiet? it didnt feel like home,, oh how he misses it,,

Chapter Text

steven sighs, glancing around the temple, till he noticed the familiar beam that was coming from the warp pad, once that light disappeared, steven noticed pearl and garnet step off the warp pad,

 “garnet? do you know where amethyst is? i thought she would be here by now..”

pearl asks garnet, looking to her left to actually look at the fusion next to her, a concerned look smudged on her face,

”amethyst will be here any second-“ “HEY P! SUP G!” amethyst bursts thru the beach house door, a more, bright expression on her face, as pearls concern wipes away faster then you can say ‘onomatopoeia’ 

“amethyst! where were you?? i was getting worried..” pearl comments, a hint of relief in her voice as she sighs,

”oh! i was at the ki-“ “you were at the kindergarten, weren't you?.” garnet cuts amethyst off, as amethysts smile fades off her face, ”why were you at the kindergarten?..” pearl questions, putting her hands together, “why not? the kindergarten is awesome!” amethyst pointed out, a small smile appearing on her face

“i mean, she does have a point garnet,, she was made in the kindergar-“ “its fine, amethyst is here now and thats all that matters,” garnet reassures pearl,, as the 3 gems sit around and conjured up something to do for the rest of their day off,

they haven't changed.

steven thought to himself as he took his eyes off the gems and again, around the temple, it feels like as if its been decades since hes last been here,, he hated that feeling, that feeling that he might forgot what his own home looks like, that empty feeling in his gut, oh how he hated it, but he was getting used to it over the past year, he didnt like how he was ‘getting used to it’ hes tried talking to his therapist about it, but he just cant shake that feeling away,

steven uses the observation orb to go to little homeschool, (again, why? because he wanted to see more of little homeschool,) he some things look different since last time he was here, the original crystal gem flag he gave bismuth, blowing in the wind, hanging, he smiled at that factor, there seems to be some new buildings, he didn't really seem to care, as he used the orb for the third time,

steven found himself staring at the people passing by, admiring how peaceful is was, he had forgotten how much he loved the peace and quiet that was beach city, 

as he's staring, he sees lars, he ends up zoning out, remembering one of the last time he had spoken to lars, he trapped him and a whole bunch of his other friends in a pink dome, oh god he regrets it so much, so. so. much.

but, like always, theirs nothing he can do about it,

steven soon stops zoning out, snapping back to reality, 

he stands up, “time to get the fuck out of here..” steven mutters under his breath as he jumps down into the stairs, not noticing now long he's been here for, let alone caring either.

as steven finally reaches to pet lion, he smiled, the softness of his emotional support animal seeming to be very comforting, as he hopped onto lion, 

lion summons a portal to send them back,

like, another… hmm,,, 10 minutes?? /hj

lion finally reaches to the other end of the portal, how does he know? because stevens landing was so ruff that he landed on the floor, upside down. 

“ugh.. my head..” steven mutters to himself as he sits back up normally, rubbing his head,

a minute after that, steven stands up, going to lay down in his bed, all of a sudden a wave of exhaustion hits him like a ton of bricks,, ‘how? not sure,, probably because of me hitting my head..’ steven slightly thought to himself, as he drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Text

”GOOD MORNING!!!”

  jay yells out, on top of steven, as steven lays in his bed, 

”AAAHHH WHAT THE FUCK.” steven yells out as he jumps in bed, clearly startled, as jay moves off him, as sits next to steven in bed, steven sits up, registering what just happened, “oh my fucking god jay don't EVER do that shit again..” steven mumbles out to jay, as jay replies, snickering, “heh,, sorry,” he replied with a smile on his face, 

steven rubs his head, trying to muster out a sentence at this point,

“what,, hm.. w-what time is it??.,” steven chokes out, “oh, its, 2:41,!” jay responds, looking at his phone “AM or PM dipshit.” steven sneered back, raising an eyebrow “its PM,” jay responded, still looking at his phone for another second, until he turns off the said device and puts it off to the side, “wha? then why did you?—nevermind,, anyway, why did you wake me up?” steven questioned at first, then he tried changing that question to a different topic, but still ended up asking a question,

 “oh! well, thats, a really fucking easy question to answer,,, becauseee i didn't want you sleeping the entire day (plus the others were getting worried)” jay answered, a more joking tone then normal,

”well for whatever reason, im gonna make something to eat, im starving,,” steven comments, facing away from jay, standing up soon after, heading for the door, jay following behind

as jay sits at the little island at the kitchen, continuing to yap about what ever topic he got his mind on, steven didn't care, or mind really, he just wanted something to eat, humming himself a song he was practicing for one of their new albums coming out soon,

jay noticed this, jay seemed to notice a-lot of things about steven, how steven would, take his meds in the morning, always wear the same pair of pajamas to bed, etc.. he was never the one to point certain things out, or well, not things like what stevens does (unless it really interests him,)

“hey? were you humming that song we’ve been practicing, like, just now?” jay asked, raising an eyebrow, a slight smile on his face, just as steven got done making his ‘breakfast’ (a piece of toast with like, 2 slices of ham on top, thats it,)

“yeah i was, might rehearse it again later to be honest, got nothing else better to do,” steven says with a slight smile and chuckle eating his toast as he turns to jay, sitting next to him on the island (basically they r js sitting on a table bc why not) 

after around,, 40 minutes of them just, chatting, yapping etc..

as steven puts his plate away in the sink, jay thinks about something,

“hey man? you've been, more,, quiet this morning,,,..you alright?,”

 jay questions, which confused steven, stevens never really heard jay speak like this, let alone act like this! but he went along with it, “im fine,” steven cringed at those words, remembering on how he used to say those 2 words during one of the darkest times in his life,

those two completely innocent words, gone to a waste, because of his stupid mista- no, steven takes a deep breath in, not trying to think about those things, those dark times, and potentially ruin this moment,

“yeah, yeah im fine,, how come you ask?” steven asks, trying to push out the concern into his voice,

 ”n-nothing man! just, wondering, thats all, maybe its just me haha,,”

steven laughed along with jay, what else was he supposed to do? “anyway,, im gonna go out cuz this guy! has got some plans today!!”

 jay jokes innocently, pointing to himself, “thats fine, just get home safe,”

 steven reassured, softly smiling at jay, as a couple minutes, later, steven was alone again, the apartment was so empty it was loud,

kinda liked it, but just before steven gets too comfortable ,  he checks when / how long still damien and omar are gonna take till they come back , around 32 minutes till their here, perfect.

Chapter Text

steven sat on the couch, letting the mindless entertainment that was television consume him, at least for the time being, until,

“HEY STEVEN!” damien bursts out of the front door and into the living room, where steven was, 

“oh hey guys, where were you two?” steven asks, fixing his stance, sitting up straight, a slight smile on his face “oh we were,— uhm… omar where were we just now?” damien, responds? steven isn’t really sure if he should consider what damien said just now as a response, 

“are you fucking stupid?” omar exasperated, “yeah i am lowkey” damien joked, as a small chuckle had escaped his mouth, as omar sighed

“yeah, yeah whatever,—anyway, we were at the mall, didn’t really buy anything other then some food, what about you? what did you do today?” 

omar recollected, as he questioned steven, 

‘literally nothing.’ 

steven wants to tell him, but he can’t, the words just can’t seem to come out his mouth, so he doesn’t say them,

“oh i woke up like, an hour or two ago, soo, not much,” steven replied honestly, it wasn’t how honest steven wanted to be, but he was still telling the truth, so it didn’t really matter.

“cool!!! :3” damien grinned, 

“me and damien are gonna watch a movie in my room, he will NOT shut up about it… so we wont be out for a bit,, just wanted to let ya know” omar started, as he grabbing damien and took him to his room,

steven didn’t mind, totally, 

“hm,” steven hummed to himself, wanting to figure out what to do now.. 

oh of course!

steven hurriedly turned off the TV in front of him, and dashed to his room, then before you know it, steven closed the door, sighing right after, as he grabbed his guitar, his pick, and he started playing to himself, one of stevens favorite pass times, 

around, 30 minutes after

steven put his musical instrument away, his hands slightly hurt from the strings, as steven found himself a bit bored again, and quite tired, 

steven grabbed his headphones on his nightstand, steven wanted to listen to some music! (who doesn’t) as steven put on said headphones, while he was listening, he laid down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, letting time fly by, 

as time becomes the least of stevens worries, he starts thinking, he isn’t fully sure what he's thinking of, its all kinda just a blur,

            hes zoning out, he doesn’t realize, hes still thinking of home, as he’s thinking of how, nice it was, back a beach city, he misses it so much, what was this feeling called?homesickness. he felt so, helpless, he HATED feeling so helpless, so weak, so unneeded.. so. USELESS.. 

“sigh.. stars. why am i like this.. everythings better now, so why am i so, upset?” steven sighed to himself, thinking back at what he said, wondering, ‘why am I like this?’ those couple words kept spinning in his head, until he managed to get them out of his head, letting his thoughts and feelings getting drowned out by music, 

a couple songs blasting later, steven sits back up, grabbing the photo on his nightstand, it was a photo of amethyst, garnet, and pearl, staring into it, tears started to form in his eyes, a lump started to form in his throat, a couple seconds later (which felt like hours) steven felt the warm, hot tears roll down his face, they keep piling up, as stevens sobs grew louder, but not too loud incase damien and omar would hear, he would be sure they didn’t hear a single thing. he starts to breath in and out, fast and quick, soon starting to slightly shake, ‘whats going on?” steven wondered ‘holy fuck.’ steven panicked, 

as he swifty puts back the framed photo, he wanted to prevent that photo from potentially being broken, why did he have to break everything he touched?, he was fully shaking now, hyperventilating, ‘c’mon steven, pull it together,” he wanted to cry, except he already was, he ran his hands through his hair, just like pearl would do if he was upset, steven started to choke out more crys, 

he started tugging a bit at his hair, something he would always do, connie’s mom told him something about it, he just didn’t remember what, and honestly, he could care less about that right now, 

steven plops back into bed, he was calming himself down from the shaking and hyperventilating, which was working, but the tears kept coming, ‘is blue diamond somewhere around here?’ he joked to himself, the joke wasn't that funny, at least not to him,

he just laid there, letting the tears stain his face, as his eyelids grew heavy and heavier every moment, every blink was a battle for consciousness, as he grew more and more tired, he let the tiredness take over him, tears kept coming, like it he weren't about to pass out from 

exhaustion, he soon cried himself to sleep that afternoon.

Chapter Text

steven wakes up, 6:32 AM. really universe?, steven couldn’t fall back asleep, so he just grabbed the phone on his nightstand, checking his calendar, oh! he has a show with his band this week, nice, wait, shit. the show was in beach city, 

steven sighed as he sat up from his bed, he actually wasnt that upset he was going back to beach city, he could stay for the week with the gems! yeah! the others could get a hotel or something and i can stay with the gems! perfect! 

wait, when was this show, wednesday, its monday, he should let the others know to pack up their things, they’re leaving today! (but steven? isn't this so, all of a sudden?) nope! no its not!

steven opened his door to go to the others rooms, he didn’t care anymore that they were still sleeping,,

he opens jays door first, “hey jay! wake up.” steven poked jay, jay was sleeping, so steven said fuck it and started shaking jay, 

“hm? st-steven?,, whats up?,,” jay turned his body in bed to face steven, rubbing his eye, “pack your bags with a week of clothes, were leaving,”

steven then did this same thing with damien and omar, 

as steven was finishing packing his bags, so was everyone else,

“uhm, steven?” omar asks, “so like, why are we leaving?,,,” once omar questioned steven, steven turns his head to look at him, “oh! its because we have a show in beach city on wednesday! so its better to go now then never,” steven recollects, “oh okay,” omar replied, 

soon, they all set a course for, BEACH CITY!!

.

..

…

“hm? are we already here?” damien asks, rubbing his eye as he wakes up, “yup! here; ill drop you guys off at this hotel, because well, i'm staying with my family,” steven tells the 3 boys as he parks and lets the 3 out the car to get their belongings, 

“bye guys!” steven waved to the 3 as he drove off, next stop, the beach house, 

steven couldn't actually believe he was here again, after a whole year, so much has changed, he waved out to the passers by, people noticing, ‘hey! stevens back!’ which steven thought was kinda sweet, recalling how different he looks now compared to when he first left, he thought and thought he drove up to the same area he used to always park his car when driving back home,

as he got out the car, he grabbed his luggage and left the car, going up the stairs to the beach house, a feeling in his stomach that something back might happened, even though he knew damn well it wasn't gonna happen as he finally reached the top step, he unlocked the door,

“hey guys,,” he waved, smiling, 

“STEVEN!” the 3 gems cried out tackling steven into a hug “hey now! hehe don't crush me to death! hah!” steven commented as the 3 gems let go of him as steven puts his bag down, 

“you didn't tell us you were coming?” pearl questioned, putting her hands together, “heh, i wanted to keep it a surprise!” steven responded to pearl, smiling, not telling them the real reason he was here, 

“how long are you staying for?” amethyst asked, intrigued, “oh! I'm just staying for the week!” he answered truthfully, “you can put your stuff upstairs!” pearl reassured “but, isn't that dads room? why would i stay there?,,” steven asked, he sounded concerned, also where was his dad? “greg will understand,” responded pearl, as steven went upstairs, we went up into his old room, 

wow, greg changed this place up, not by a lot, but still noticeable, as steven puts his bags down, he noticed this full body mirror right by him, he stared into it; ‘the gems seem so happy, that's good, they didn't say anything about my look, do they like it?, do they not like it?’ steven pondered, thoughts overwhelmed his head, ‘pull it together universe, they said they would support me no matter what, but what if they find out about the band biz?? what would they say?’ steven wondered again as he laid down on the bed behind him, trying not to let the thoughts waste his time,

as steven lays down, he admires the whereabouts of how much his old room has changed, he liked it, he thought it looked really nice,

as he laid down in bed, he realized how soft the bed was,

“SCHTU-BALL!!” steven heard greg running up the stairs, calling for him, the sudden noise made  steven shot up from bed, looking straight ahead, seeing greg standing in the doorway, 

“DAD! YOU’RE OKA-“ steven spoke, just before being cut off by greg hugging steven, this completely caught steven off guard completely,

“YOU’RE OKAY! I WAS SO WORRIED!” greg quite literally yelled, holding onto steven tightly “o-of course im okay dad,,” steven reassured, smiling,

as greg let go, greg sits on the bed next to steven and turns his head to steven, “since when did you get into using hair dye kiddo?” greg laughed, ruffling stevens hair, causing steven to laugh, and for his beanie to slide off his head “just wanted to try something different,” steven chuckled,

“doesn’t everyone?” greg questioned jokingly as they both laugh together.

Chapter Text

steven had gone to bed last night, today was, tuesday, one more day until the performance, woohoo!, currently he was just sitting in bed, just sitting there, 

it's cold.

he just sat there, and and then he gets blinded by the his bright light that was ceiling light,

“hm..?” steven groaned out, rubbing the side of his head as he sits up, seeing amethyst, 

“hey stevo! sleep okay?” amethyst noticed steven waking up, a small smile appearing on her face, as she walks over to him 

“yeah i slept fine, really restful, wha, what time is it,” steven questioned “its 12:34 PM,, i wanted to let you sleep in, how are you?” 

“i-im, fine? how are you? also, why are you asking me so many questions.” steven responded, “dude, i asked you like, 2 questions, chill,” amethyst countered as she sits next to steven in his temporary bed, “just, happy to have you back, even if it's not the longest time ever, i’m still happy to see you” she added, hugging steven, he smiled, he always saw amethyst as a big sister to him, he thought that was really nice, 

“okay okay, love you too, now don’t get all sappy on me” steven joked as amethyst pulled from the hug,

they both laughed, “so, are the others?” steven turns his head to amethyst, “oh! everyones doing great! of course we all miss you.. but everyones been amazing!” amethyst responded truthfully, “except..” amethysts face turns into a grimace,

“gregs, ‘cooking’.. isn’t the greatest, or.. really great at all.. .      .    . STEVEN PLEASE. I MISS YOUR COOKING SO MUCH.” amethyst added, putting air quotes around the word ‘cooking’, just before grabbing steven by his shoulders and admitting the truth,

“well, what were you expecting from a guy who's lived in a van for over 20 years?..” steven contradicting what amethyst said, but over all agreeing with her,

she lets go of his shoulders, sighing as she laid down, “wanna go somewhere,” she asked, sounding bored out of her mind “i've been meaning to buy somethings,” steven responded, laying down next to her, “then get dressed!! we’ve got places to be!!” amethyst shot up, going downstairs to let steven change, 

steven walked downstairs (hes wearing a beanie because he will always wear a beanie, a pair of baggy jeans because duh, and a plain black hoodie ((sorry this part is long I like describing clothing,)).)

“ready?” steven asked amethyst, looking down at her, “well, DUHH of COURSE I'm ready,,” she exclaimed, “STEVEN AND AMETHYST ADVENTURE!” amethyst yelled out as she ran out the door, steven soon following, “..steven and amethyst adventure..” he sighed, before smiling as he walked out the door, 

after what felt like millennia of walking (10 minutes.) to amethyst, they finally made it to the place steven wanted to buy from, amethyst didn't care where he took her, she just wanted to hang out with steven, they both walked in, greeting the cashier, both walking through the isles, before stopping, amethyst bumped into stevens leg, 

“dude? why did we stop? are you good?” amethyst questioned as she picked herself up, staring up at steven, “hm? oh yeah i'm fine,—“ steven waved his hand up and down, not breaking eye contact with the items on the shelf, amethyst wasn't sure what these items were, 

“I'm trying to redye my hair because the color I have now is fading, but i'm not sure if I should stick with pink, or do a different color,” steven questioned, just before picking up a box, “perfect! okay now let's get outta here,” steven laughed as he went to the cashier, he paid, and they left, going back home, steven goes to the bathroom, as amethyst follows in,

steven takes off his hat, opens the box, puts gloves on (basically prepping the hair dye,) 

“so like, whatcha doing?” amethyst asked, seeming interested in what steven was doing,

“I’m redying my hair, this color is starting to fade and I have a sh—,” steven explained, just before cutting  himself off, almost spoiling his secret, “have a what?” amethyst asked confusedly, “h-have, uhh.. hmm. what did I have… hmm..” steven put his hand to his chin jokingly, as him and amethyst laugh it off, 

“but yeah, I’ve just been wanting to redye it, and I decided to pick a different color! I’ve been sticking to pink since the first time I dyed my hair,” steven explained once again, letting out a small chuckle at the end of his words,

“what color did you pick?” 

“oh boy , I wonder.” steven responded sarcastically. because by the time amethyst asked, he was already putting the color in his hair,, she started to laugh, sighing at the end,

“y’know, you can help me,” steven thought, “really?!?” amethyst replied, stars in her eyes, “yeah! here, put some conditioner in this container, because im starting to run out over here,.” he recollected, gently pushing the cup to her, 

.

…

….

…..

”AMETHYST!” 

stevens voice raised, mainly in shock, because after a minute or two of steven spreading the dye into his hair, he looked back on amethyst, wanting to see how well she did on the task he assigned her, just to see the cup he gave her almost overflowing with conditioner, while amethyst was laughing her ass off,

“really.” he blatantly said staring at her, sighing,

“eh its fine anyway, you can eat that conditioner or something, it turns out i did have enough!” steven said with a little bit of enthusiasm at the end of his sentence, “awh sweet!” amethyst regards 

“also could you leave the bathroom? i'm gonna shower.” steven lets amethyst know as she leaves, still eating the conditioner because who wouldn't?

.

.

.

steven walks out the bathroom, “hey amethyst,” he smiled as he waved to her, the ends of his hair a maroon color instead of the bright pink he had just a couple hours ago, 

“sooo,, how does it look?..” he questioned, a worried expression on his face, but also a smile on his face too, 

“dude, you look AMAZING!! who knew red would suit you so well??” she smiled, stars beaming from her eyes, this made steven blush, (steven likes complements okay) as he laughed, “,thanks,” 

after a couple hours of steven and amethyst, yapping about complete nonsense, talking about different weird and funny events that happened to them, enjoying each others company, spending the whole day together basically, steven and amethyst used to do this alot when garnet and pearl were busy with little homeschool, it was nice.

“night amethyst!” steven waved to amethyst from his doorway, as he plopped into bed, sighing, finally taking in what he did today, he was tired, physically, and mentally, not from anything bad though, today was nice, 

steven switched into some pajamas before finally getting into bed and slowly drifting to sleep,

tomorrow was the big day.

Chapter Text

6:46, AM, 

steven stares at himself in the mirror, 

he's staring hard.

today was the day.

FUCK he was nervous. why was he so nervous? he was so prepared for this day. he dyed his hair for this!, so why am i so, nervous?. sigh,

looking away from his reflection, as he then rubbed his face in the towel in his hand, drying his face, 

once he put the towel down, he grabbed a small bag, grabs some eyeliner, and puts some on, not on the top of his eyes, but on the bottom of his eyes, 

once he was done with putting it on, it looked like he had eye bags, even though he already did, haha, so funny.

he finally left the bathroom, going up to his room to put some clothing for the show, and to pack his guitar, 

.

steven grabbed everything he needed, he was racing downstairs, it wasn't like he was late or anything, steven was just the type of person to arrive early, he dashed over to his car, put the guitar in the trunk,

he got into the passenger's seat, next stop, the hotel.

once steven got there, he parked his car, but he didn’t get out, he pulled out his phone, starting to message jay to let the others and him know that he was outside, 

>jay, get outside im here, bring the others

>ALREADY?? okay okay damn lemme get my shit

>hurry up please

steven turned off his phone and shoved it into his hoodie pocket, looked out his window to admire the scenery, stars, it was so pretty in beach city, he zoned out, but he snapped out of it when he heard omar knocking 

steven unlocked the trunk so the other 3 can put there stuff inside, as he also unlocked the car, 

 they finally got inside the car, (jay front seat, omar and damien back seat,)

“how was the hotel?” steven wondered, as he glanced at jay, “THE HOTEL WAS AMAZING!! WEGOTROOMSERVICE!WEWATCHEDMOVIES!WEATESNACKS!IT WAS SOOOSOO MUCH FUN!!!!” damien yelled as he popped his head into the empty space between jay and steven, “glad you guys liked it.” steven smiled, “damien i don't know how you liked that last movie we watched,, it was so ass..” jay started, as damien then defended then omar joined in, basically the 3 boys were bickering away, as steven just stared at the road, driving, steven always focused really hard on the road,, when he drives, he tries not to speak for continuous periods of time, and just focuses on the road, all because he crashed his dads van, he will never forgive himself for that-  ahem. not to get all sappy, but he still talks when driving, steven mainly likes to listen to people when driving- 

“we’re here.” steven pointed out, parking the car, and unlocking it, “dang that was fast.” jay countered while getting out, “no, no not really, you just wouldn't shut that trapper of yours,” steven sneered, “y’know what else could shut this trapper of mine” jay joked, “shut up.” steven said, grabbing his guitar, as jay grabbed his keyboard, damien grabbed his bass, just before omar spoke up, “hey wait, we didn't bring my drums, how am i gonna play??” omar looked confused, luckily, steven had this covered, “don't worry, the place had a spare pair of drums they’re letting you use,” steven smiled again, “AWH SWEET! now, C’MON LET'S GO!!!’ omar grinned as he sped across the others, racing them to the venue, 

once steven and the others were finally done setting up amps, tuning instruments, practicing songs, looking back on there setlist, just, overall getting ready, 

they had about a hour and a half before there show, 

FUCK. 

“you guys wanna get some snacks or drinks? i'm kinda hungry and, like, what are we supposed to do for a whole HOUR??? ughh..” jay suggested, “i’m fine with that, damien? omar?” steven agreed, “HELL YEAH!” damien and omar shouted,

once they all got to their local convenience store, steven was looking for an energy drink, when he noticed jay standing next to him, staring, 

“hey jay, you okay?,, you’re staring..” steven questioned, he seemed a little uncomfortable, “O-OH, SHIT, oops,, s-sorry man did mean to stare, i uhm, i zoned out, i-i came here to ask you a question,,” jay sputtered, as his eyes widened, only for a second, as he snapped the fuck out of it,

“o-okay?,, well, what's your question?.” steven asked, looking dumbfounded, “are you okay? you’ve been, really tense since you picked us up, anything on your mind?,” jay sounded, concerned, steven glanced around in what seemed to be a hurry for a second, before grabbing jay by the arms, just before slightly whispering, just so no one could hear him, “yes, i’ve been SO FUCKING nervous, what if i fuck up, what if people i know are in the crowd, what if, what if WHAT IF??” steven panicked, as he started heavily breathing in and out repeatedly, letting go of jay, looking down on the ground as he ran his hand through his hair, jay then holds steven by his shoulders  “DUDE! it’s gonna be okay! you’ve performed hundreds of times! and plus, what if someone you know did see you? they would be so proud of you! you’ve come so far! i-.. I'm proud of you.” jay reassured steven, just before smiling at the end of his words, 

stevens breathing starts to slow down, soon turning back to normal, jay lets go of steven, “c’mon, we got a show to go to” jay signaled steven to the cashier, smiling, like, a REAL smile, it was, comforting,

they finally got back to the venue, of course they entered the stage from, well, backstage?? mainly because there was already a line of people waiting to get into the area and they didnt wanna get noticed,

“god damn! did you guys see that line of people? theres still like, 45 minutes till the show..” damien pointed out, surprised, “AAAAA i’m so excited!!” omar grinned, probably the biggest grin stevens seen omar make since their first show, “wanna play something while we wait?” jay suggested as the others all agreed, 

.

fuck.

ffuuuccckkkk..

FUCK.

they were getting their instruments ready, steven had to level out his breathing, he could hear the people in the crowd, they couldn’t hear, nor see him, the stage lights weren't on yet, so you couldn’t really see much, steven and his bandmates finally got everything, steven sighed as he grabbed the mic, 

. 

“how's it going everybody?” once steven spoke into the mic, he could hear people cheering, why? he wasn’t sure, people cheered over everything, he found it funny, but also, once the words left his mouth, the stage lights turned on, they were a mix of colors, green, red, blue, pinks, yellow’s etc.. It looked amazing. 

steven let out a small laugh, as he looked out into the crowd, he didn’t notice anyone he knew, yet.

he looked back at this guitar pick, ‘it’s okay steven, first song from the setlist, you-, you got this.’ he thought to himself.

(btw! the setlist ((aka the songs they are playing)) is:

• like a star (mike krol)
• fell in love with a girl (the white stripes) 
• call this # now (the garden)
• red flags and long nights (she wants revenge)
• dark entries (bauhaus)
• thy mission (the garden)

(okay so i know these aren original songs.. but js pretend they are this entire fic is fiction anyway ALSO GO CHECK THOSE SONGS OUT THEY R SO FIRE)

.

.

oh.

my.

stars.

‘i just fucking did that, i-i, -i didn’t fuck up! holy shit! WOO HOO!’ steven thinks to himself as a smile grows on his face, looking back at jay and damien, the shine in his eyes coming back to him, as he then waved to the crowd, looking into the crowd, he saw,- no, no fucking way.

he- no, they weren’t, why? how? steven noticed, 5 familiar faces in that crowd, 

lars, sadie, connie, amethyst and, HIS DAD??

the shine from stevens eyes immediately wiped away, he could feel his heart drop, his eyes widened, he then closed his eyes and shook his head, trying not to make it obvious that he was staring that them

the stage lights turned off, then the main 4 walked off the stage, 

once they were finally back stage, the 3 of them started cheering, as steven, leaned on the wall, sloping down till he hit the ground, hold his head, his pupils couldn’t stay in place, he was shaking, jay saw him and stopped cheering, he left damien and omar to do their own celebrating somewhere else, as he walked up to steven, 

“steven! dude? are yo- YOU’RE SHAKING!” immediate worry fills jay as he sits next to steven, patting stevens back, 

“i-i i- fucking saw them jay, i-i.. I saw them.” steven stuttered, “saw who?” jay tried his best to comfort steven, “MY FRIENDS! FAMILY! H-HOW ARE THEY HERE, I N-NEVER TOLD THEM I WAS DOING THIS! OH MY,, AAAAHHH,, I THINK I MIGHT PUKE JAY.” steven had a semi higher tone then normal, a panicked tone, rapping his arm around his stomach “steven! listen to me. whatever type of career you pick, even if its this one, they will love and support you no matter what! they. love you.” jay held onto stevens shoulders, staring straight at him, as steven tensed down, staring back at jay as tears filled his eyes, steven quickly hugged jay, caught jay by surprise, but then accepted the hug, smiling, patting stevens back, 

“thank you.”

once everyone left, solarstars packed up everything, and headed back to stevens car, right before steven opened the door to enter the passenger's seat, he felt a tight hug around his neck, laughing 

he recognized that laugh,

“AMETHYST?” steven turned around as she let go, her body dropping to the floor, as once he turned around, he saw the other 4, 

“g-guys? wha-what are you doing here?, i-i thought you went home.” steven rubbed the back of his neck, looking, nervous,  

“well, duhh!! we waited for you to get to your car!” connie smiled, 

“oh, i-i well, w-why are you guys here in the first place?” steven questioned, as he raised an eyebrow, not fully processing everything, “well,, buck told me there was a show here and he bought some tickets, turns out he was busy today so, he gave us the tickets! little did we know you were performing here, i, i didn’t even know you performed at all!” sadie smiled “yeah dude you were amazing! you never told us you were in a band?” lars chuckled as steven blushed, right, he never told, anyone about the band ordeal, until now that is, as they all laughed, greg told steven he was proud of him, steven smiled hard, 

before the 5 left, they asked to take some photos with steven, steven agreed, they had a blast, once steven finally entered the passenger's seat, he drove away, talking with the 3 boys in the car,

. 

it.

it was really nice out, 

steven and jay were semi cuddled up next to each other, lay on a blanket, star gazing, in the forest, as omar and damien were play rock paper scissors on another blanket next to them, steven points up, “look, it’s cygnus, right there,” jay smiled at stevens comment, steven loved star gazing, he knew all the constellations, one of the many things jay loved about steven, 

soon, their eyes started getting heavier and heavier, soon falling asleep next to each other, 

damien and omar giggled at them for a couple minutes before they ended up playing some more, then calling it a night and falling asleep on the blanket (no homo) 

the quiet crickets, the crows of the birds, the sound of nature, the smell of the air, it was all so peaceful, so calming, so amazing, it could bring tears to someones eyes, 

the sound of the 4 boys soft snores filled the silence. perfect.

Chapter Text

“mmhm.. hm?” steven sits up, only just now taking in that he slept at the forest, as he looks around him, he sees jay, omar, and damien, steven sighed, smiling, as steven noticed jay sitting up, also finally waking up, 

“oh! sorry jay in case i woke you up. I also just woke up,” steven joked, “awh what, dude don’t apologize, i needed to wake up anyway” jay laughed, steven and jay both laughed together, both starting to actually wake up, 

“anyway, how did you sleep last night?” steven asked jay, turning his head to him, “do you really have to ask the most small talk question in the book?” jay laughed, so did steven, “okay but i did sleep really good though, at least, with you.” steven blushed, “awh, pfft, stop” steven waved his hand, looking to the side, jay snickered at his tactics,

“uhm..” steven put his hand down, not facing jay, still unsure what to say. steven mildly dislikes conversations like this, 

“soooo..”  jay moved closer to steven in the blanket, smiling slightly, a small blush on his face,

“so what?” steven’s mouth turned into a small smile, his eyebrows furrowing, 

“okay listen, i know this is gonna be, really awkward, but.” jay grabbed stevens shoulder, looked at steven, and,

‘chu!’ <— (btw here jay kissed steven on the cheek, steven didn’t understand that)

steven blushed, “wha,-“ steven sat there in shock, not expecting that to happen, he smiled, and he smiled hard, as jay had a faint blush on his lips, steven laughed, in a good way, he was just happy, so was jay, so jay started laughing too, as they then laid on the blanket together

 steven thought to himself, 

“sigh, should we wake the others?” steven turned his head over to look at jay- “AH! JAY, WARN ME NEXT TIME YOU STARE AT ME.” steven jumped, jay was staring right at steven, “oh! uhm. yeah sure, yea-yeah we should wake them up,.. or not, we don’t even know what time it is, plus, i wanna enjoy this forest a little longer,”

”hm. understandable, wait, what time is it anyway?” steven wondered as he grabbed his phone, 

10:43 AM 

‘hm, cool, not too early, not to late, but still, i should get out of this forest sooner or later,’ steven thought to himself, ‘but, a couple minutes with jay wouldn't hurt anyone.’ steven smiled when he thought of that

“jay,” steven said, “hm? what's up?” jay glanced at steven, before looking back up at the sky, 

“whats your favorite food” steven asked, “really.” jay looked at steven before laughing, a lot, steven joined in the laughing too, 

“you’re so silly” jay snickered 

after what felt like an eon, the main 4 finally leave the forest, where do they go? the beach, why? WHY THE FUCK NOT

“were here~” steven said in a singsong voice, “yeah okay disney princess,” omar chuckled as he left the car  “bitch” steven jokingly muttered under his breath as he got out the car “HEY I HEARD THAT!” omar laughed as he started jokingly chasing steven out the car and into the beach as damien and jay grab the blankets, and lay them into the beach, 

but by the time they got the spot steven and omar put their shoes, steven and omar were already in the water, splashing each other while laughing, 

“HEY!! WAIT UP!!” damien yelled as he finished putting the blanket on the ground, jay set his stuff down before catching up with them, 

once they were all in the water, they played volleyball, in the water, why in the water? BECAUSE WHY NOT

 “ha-HA! that was so fun,” jay laughed “totally!” omar snickered back, the 4 boys walked back to their blanket, they all sat there, the sun was starting to set, 

stars it was beautiful, it was so nice, beach city was beautiful, 

soon on, steven found another small motel for the 3 the stay at for the next like, 2 nights,

as he finally dropped them off, he headed back to the beach house, explained to the gems where he was all of today, they understood, he went upstairs, and went to bed

can’t wait for tomorrow.

Chapter Text

“hm, yawn good morning universe,” steven spoke to himself as he grabbed the phone off his nightstand,

9:03 AM on a friday, nice.

 steven walked down stairs to wash himself when he saw, greg and amethyst chatting away,, as pearl cooked what seemed to be breakfast, “oh! good morning steven!” pointed out pearl, as steven responded to pearl, “good morning pearl! oh and good morning dad!” steven called out to his dad as he then entered the bathroom,

once steven finally got out of the bathroom, “stevo!! c’mon over here!,” amethyst called out to steven from the dining table, he sat in the empty seat next to her, as pearl served them some waffles

”try not to eat too fast now! i don’t either of you to get a stomach ache,” pearl smiled as her patted stevens head and walked past him to do, whatever she was going to do,

“thank you pearl!” steven thanked pearl once he was done, going up to his room, 

once he got up there, he sighed, recollecting all the things in his room, wishing that he could stay longer with the gems, but, nice things can’t last forever,  he did some organization with his stuff in his still temporary room, just before getting dressed into some nicer clothing and going down stairs, 

 “bye dad! bye guys!” steven waved to his family from the doorway as he sped walked out of the beach house,, little did he know that was gonna be one of the last times he saw them,  

quickly going down stairs, he runs on over to the big donut, like how he was just a couple of years ago, then once he finally gets there,, he waits, he waits for that seems to be around 20 minutes, till he sees them,

lars and sadie!

“hey guys!” steven waved, a small smile on his face, he was- “ awfully happy, aren't you steven?“ 

lars laughed, “todays just been really good so far!” steven responded gleefully, 

they all walked around the board walk for a good half hour, remembering all the old times they had together, soon then, they went over to sadies place, and decided to chill in sadies old room, its like nothings changed since last time steven came, he liked when things didn't change, he always wants every to be the same, 

steven, lars and sadie all decided to look back and watch a couple of her horror movies from her collection, sadie was still embarrassed from them, but steven and lars told her that it was normal,

they put in one of the many movies they picked out, and watched it, (no shit) while eating some donuts they picked out,,

they had tons of fun, reminisced about older times and how much each one of then has changed, they played board games, 

“hah! i remember that, that was funny,” lars laughed, “it was okay” steven chuckled, 

“so, do any of you wanna tell any,-“ sadie asked, turning on the flashlight in her hand, it glowed in the already dark room, and pointing it to her face, “scary stories?” sadie smiled

“NOW DO I??!!!” lars basically wung out of the chair he was sitting in, grinning hard, “i wouldn’t mind! i think i have a few myself,” steven agreed, putting his hand on his upper lip,

they all chuckled as they all told their stories one by one, some of the stories even spooking one another, overall having a good time, 

soon it will all be over.

steven laughed as he waved bye to lars and sadie, as the turned away and put his hands in his pocket, reaching for his headphones, he always took his headphones everywhere, couldn’t leave home without them, funny right? 

as he connected them to his phone, he put them on his ears, and started listening,, thats the only thing he cared about, listening, he decided to walk all over beach city, the one thing keeping him company was himself,- ‘such a loner.’ steven thought to himself as he walked, 

he ran into peedee, they chatted for what seemed forever, by the time they parted ways, it was sunset, 

nice job steven,

steven thought to himself as he kept walking, 

walking, 

walking

walkingggg..

WALKING,

he’s legs were hurting, he didn’t care, he wanted to rip his legs off his body, he deserved this pain, he didn't care anymore, he was gonna walk over and around beach city until his legs were going to collapse, 

he couldn’t take it anymore, 

‘where was this all coming from?’ steven wondered to himself as he kept walking, ‘what started this? I was having the best day today?’ steven kept thinking, his head so full of thoughts, he couldn't take it anymore.

he stopped walking, 

there he was, all alone, at the forest he shattered jasper in, 

he did the only thing he wanted to do here,

he screamed, 

a blood curdling scream, 

it sent shivers down his own spine, the ground underneath him broke, 

once he stopped he went to the nearest tree and punched it, his knuckles bleed, 

tears were forming in his eyes, he bottled his emotions back in, ‘just like last time,’ he thought as he wiped the remaining tears,

he walked away, 

like nothing ever happened,

he circled around beach city, 5 times?.. he lost count a while ago, he didn't care,  he wanted his legs to hurt and for fucks sake they did, they hurt a lot. but, they didn't hurt enough,

he looked at the sidewalks, reminded of how he used to walk down these streets all the time when he was younger, 

now he doesn’t even live here.

‘boo hoo universe, there's other people out there in the world who have it worse than you, stop your complaining,’ he kept thinking, and thinking ‘CHRIST UNIVERSE STOP THINKING ALREADY,” steven got fed up with himself and fucking, ow.

he fucking punched himself, why? why-why could he be so STUPID to do that? is he fucking stupid? god. why was he like this, 

first he thought about how he breaks everything he touches, and how he breaks his nose. cool universe, cool, 

steven didn't really notice he broke his nose, it healed immediately so. he didn't really care, 

he wiped the blood off his nose, 

the screaming, punching, it really helped him feel better, he was, happy again, he started to walk home,

“mmmhm hmm♪” steven hummed to himself as he walked, hands in pockets, his knuckles still stung,, but he was getting used to it, 

once he made it to the beach, he sat down, enjoying the nice breeze, 

the smell,

the wind,

the looks? oh dear homeworld it was amazing.

he sat there, he closed his eyes, and dreamed, smiling as he let the small air flow through his hair, 

it was like he was at peace again, 

CRASH! 

steven jumped and quickly opened his eyes, widening them as he turned around to see what crashed behind him, 

“AT LAST!” bluebird?

“b-bluebird?? is that you?,” steven questioned as he squinted his eyes, it was!

“BLUEBIRD?? what are you doing here?” steven questioned as he approached her, 

“i came back here to,-“ bluebird spoke just before cutting herself off and pulling out her sword, “FINISH YOU OFF!” she raised her voice a bit as she put her weapon up to stevens neck

“woahwoah woah woah woah, what the fuck do you think your doing.” steven sneered as he furrowed his eyebrows, reaching for his gem, 

“like i said steven universe, I came here to finish you off.” she repeated, her tone sounding more serious, but with a smile on her face as she pushed the blade more into his neck,

a small cut, nothing serious as steven grabbed the blade with one hand, , glaring at her hard

“don’t you fucking DARE.” he practically yelled at her, as he started to pull out his rejuvenator with the other hand, not yet opening it, as bluebird pulled away her sword, the blade cut steven’s palm,

“FUCK.” steven yelled once again, opening his rejuvenator, as bluebird kept flying upwards while laughing to make herself a harder target for steven. she saw the weapon he had, she stared in awh, “is that?, nono, he’s your enemy here,” bluebird managed to stay together, as she continued to laugh, 

steven jumped to her level, trying to hit her, but missed by a second, ‘fuck.’ steven thought as he pulled out his shield to see his he can hit her from a distance,

‘nice one!’ steven pumped his fist as he saw bluebird fall down to the beach, steven soon following, 

he hit the ground, once again reminiscing about how the smell brought him too close to home, but he quickly snapped out of it when he quickly sat back up, 

“hahaha! finally!” bluebird laughed as she got closer too steven, he turned around, and tried to hit her with his  rejuvenator in a fast manner, he missed again as he swiped him in the face with her blade, ‘FUCK,,’ he said in his head as he starter getting closer to the beach house incase he needed back up 

soon.

he was facing the stairs of the beach house, as he saw pearl entering the porch,

“steven! what are you doing out here? it’s getting late you should get insid-“

blood, blade, body.

blood, oh there was so much blood, he stood there, 

pearl stood in shock 

bluebird stabbed him in the chest. 

“STEVEN!” pearl screamed, her eyes filling with tears as they couldn’t contain the conceal of her eyes, they were pouring out like no tomorrow, 

“ w-whoopsy daisy,, p-pea-pearl! it-it’s gonna be okay, e-everythings go-gonna be alrigh-“

POOF!

“FINALLY! THE ONE AND ONLY STEVEN UNIVERSE HAS BEEN DEFEATED! BY NON ONLY THEN-“ 

POOF!

pearl had thrown her spear directly at bluebird, as she jumped down from the porch, 

she collected both of their gems, 

stevens - she stared at the mix of pinkish-red that were all over the gems shapes, she stared in awh,

bluebirds - she bubbled these 2, she stared in utter disgust and hatred, she wanted to shatter them for killing her baby.

as she walked back upstairs, tears were still pouring out of her eyes, as she opened the door, she looked at garnet and amethyst, bluebirds gems floating in a bubble next to her, and stevens gem straddled in her arms to the point you couldn’t see the gem, 

“pearl?,” amethyst walked up, complete worry filled her voice, 

pearl opened her arms, to show stevens gem, amethyst and garnet gasps, 

garnets visor disappeared, as she looked away, pearl sobs more as she rapped her arms around the gem, amethyst was completely wiped of color, her and garnet both went to there rooms, as pearl sat on the couch, she got a pillow and put stevens gem down on the pillow, not wanting to damage it, as she sent blue bird to the basement, 

pearl held her face in her hands and cried,,

she cried, and cried, and cried.

she hasent felt like this in so long, 

it was like,

she just got steven back, 

and now, she's gonna lose him again?

did she not protect him enough, 

stars,

she felt awful.

Chapter Text

pearl sat there, her eyes still dwelling on the gem that was once her sons,

’oh stars.’ pearl had mumbled to no one other then herself, wiping the already faded tears,

what was she supposed to do now? 

give up?

no, she had to stay strong,

for him.

currently, it was 

1:34 AM

she sat there, she didn’t know what to do anymore, she felt like she just lost everything that was important to her,

“hey pearl!” bismuth,

“b-bismuth!? wha-what are you doing here?.” pearls eyes widened in shock as bismuth bursted through the beach house door, 

pearl quickly grabbed stevens gem,

she didn’t want to worry the others, they didn't even know he visited beach city! 

what would they say?, 

“pearl?.” bismuth walked closer, pure worry had consumed her, 

pearl couldn’t handle the grief anymore, she had to tell someone.

“bis-bismuth,, please.” pearl almost cried out, but she kept those emotions in, 

bismuth sat down next to pearl on the couch pearl hadn’t left in what felt like ages,

“It all went by too fast.” pearl hugged the pink gem curled in her hands once more,

“waitwaitwaitwait. pearl. calm down. takes deep breathes.” bismuth tried reassuring pearl, pearls tears were already pouring out, she was sobbing.

“he-, he’s gone bismuth,.” pearl cried out once again, uncovering the gem in her hands, 

what?

how did this happen?

isn’t that?

”steven?.” bismuth spoke, touching the gem, slightly confused, wasn’t this his gem? why is in pearls hands? Is this even steven?

“wait, where is steven?. because, that gem better not be who’s i think it is.” bismuth’s expression was unreadable. to say the least, 

pearl just looked up as bismuth, tears still pouring, 

no,

no fucking way.

how was this even possible? 

stevens human?

or was he?

was he?

“oh pearl.” bismuth's eyes started to form tears, as she put her hand on pearls back, letting the tears fall as pearl sobbed again,

bismuth had never seen pearl cry so hard,

not even when they were still still in the war,

neither of them knew what to do anymore,

pearl thought that all hope was lost, 

bismuth, was still panicking internally, but she still had hope, very little, but it was still there,

this is steven universe were talking about here! he always found a way out, 

maybe he could this time?

could he?

. 

no one knew anything anymore, 

atleast, not pearl and bismuth, 

pearl soon told bismuth that garnet and amethyst knew, 

how were they going to explain this to lapis and peridot,

they had to tell someone,

_____________

“bismuth! we got your message! is everything?-“ lapis sprinted in, peridot behind her, looking equally as worried,

lapis looked around, noticing how both pearl, and bismuth had tears down there faces,

“..whats going on?..” lapis’s eyes had widened, taking note of her surroundings as she fully entered the house,

her expression changed to something more serious, still a hint of worry,

bismuth grabbed the gem from pearl, but still being unseen by lapis or peridot, 

bismuth walker up to the 2 gems, and opened her hand, we

stevens gem,

“what?- how-how could this happen,- wait. STEVEN WAS HERE?” lapis stated in shock, but also she was upset she couldn’t see steven when he was still ‘alive’

peridot stared, and oh boy did she stare hard 

who could’ve known this would happen?

what we're going to do now?

Chapter Text

“hm? wha?-“ steven muttered as he rubbed his head, he opened his eyes, just barely before the bright light that's blinding his eyes gets covered by a short shadow,

“look! over here!”

steven heard a voice, it sounded like his, but, more higher pitched,

steven opened his eyes completely as he sat up, his eyes getting focusing on the 2 bright legs in front of him, his head trailed up those legs to see,

himself? but, his, gem form?

“AAAHHH!!” steven yelled as he crawled backwards, as his eyes widened in shock, there was another steven here too, it looked like, his younger self?

steven looked around, everything was pink, was he?

IN HIS GEM?

“WHERE AM I? AM I ?-“ steven freaked out, running his hands through his hair, 

“hey! hey! calm down, it's okay!” the younger steven walked up to steven, 

“are you.. me?” the older (current) steven questioned the younger one, he was super confused, and rightfully so,

“yeah! it's so cool that you're here! it's just been me and pinky over there !” the younger steven points to the pink version of himself, it looked just like him, just, pink. It was uncanny.

”’pinky?’” steven looked back at the younger version of himself in confusion, putting up air quotes as he raised an eyebrow,

“yeah! pinky! get it? because he’s pink? haha!!” younger steven laughed to himself as he put his arms on his hips

“yeah, haha,,” steven stood up, and talked over to ‘pinky’ as pinky put his hand out,

“hi! I'm your gem half!” pinky smiled as he explained, steven was finally making the connection,

how did he not realize until now, is he that stupid? of course it’s his gem half, and the other one is,

his younger self?, how? 

steven shook pinkys hand, steven opened his mouth to speak, “so, pinky, wha-where, am i?, i, never really got that through to me,” steven asked, a confused look ran through his face,

“oh! you’re inside of our gem!” pinky stated the obvious, 

WHAT?

“when you were fighting bluebird, you had gotten distracted, and she stabbed you from behind, poofing you in the process,”

“wait WHAT??,, but-but, we're half human! we can’t, ‘poof’ we-we, a-are we aT LEAST, going to reform???” steven started to spiral, putting his hands on pinky as he freaked out,

“hey! hey! It's okay! you can always reform whenever you want to!” pinky commented, 

steven took a few deep breaths as he let go of pinky, he still had to get used to that name,

“o-okay,, so, quick question, if i'm steven, what do we call the younger version of me?,,” steven questioned once again, 

“oh, i have this silly nickname for him, i call him ‘stoob’! get it? because hes a little stub! because he's shorter than me,’ pinky laughed to himself,

stoob? pinky did say it was silly, he wasn’t wrong, 

steven seemed to finally calm himself down, and, enjoy the area actually,

 he soon then found a bed, in a different area from pinky and stoob, ‘how big is this place?’ steven had thought to himself as he laid on the bed, made from one of the softest cushions and comforters he’s ever felt,, 

he just wanted to sleep at that point,

so that's what he was going to do, 

sleep.

sleep all his problems away, 

somehow,

’why couldn’t i poof her? am i getting rusty?’ steven thought to himself, 

it was so easy for him then, 

why couldn’t he now?

why couldn’t he poof bluebird?

but no,

he had to get himself killed in the process, with his, what felt like, his mom, watching him, 

she watched him die, 

god he was stupid.

why couldn’t he just fight back properly?

why couldn’t he do anything properly?

“steven?” the younger steven walked in on the older steven, wondering, something, “you look, stressed, are you okay?,” the younger one worried,

steven sighed, and he sighed deeply, 

“no stoob, im actually NOT okay! i was just stabbed by my mortal enemy in front of my mother! im in a place i didn’t even know EXISTED! and i have no idea how to get out of here!..” steven wiped his eyes, clearly upset about everything, too much has been going on for him, (if you couldn’t tell already,)

“d-do you not like it here..?.” stoob, (steven) muttered, clearly sounding heart broken,

‘awh shit.’ steven thought as his mind starts conjuring up ideas to help stoob feel better, 

“nononono i didn’t mean it like that, this place is amazing! everything here is so nice, i-,, i’m just really stressed out, everythings going on right now..” steven put his hand to the side of his head, feeling overall really bad he hurt stoobs feelings, 

stoobs smile started to slowly come back, “well, thats okay! everyone goes through stressful things all the time! it’s okay to not be able to contain that much stress..” stoob smiled at steven, 

steven took what stoob said to heart, because, well,

he was right, 

“well stoob, sorry i made you upset, now, go one now, im gonna take a nap,” steven smiled to stoob as he patted stoobs head, stoob then runs out the room, giggling, clearly more happy then when he first came in.

steven sighed once more, closing his eyes as he turned into the bed, tucking himself in,

just like pearl would do.

‘not the time steven.’ he thought. as he tried drifting to sleep,

like that was any help.

his thoughts swarmed his head, like thought butterflies from when he was stevonnie,

haha.

swarming.

his thoughts of pearl being disappointed in him, or that his family would’ve left him to die in his gem. 

he felt sick.

‘no, they would never do that,’ would they? ‘no. you’re overthinking it universe, snap out of it.’

and so thats what he did,

he laid there, 

unsure of anything 

was he gonna make it out of this gem alive? 

or was he just going to disappoint everyone,

he felt like a kid again, 

but instead of him hoping his family didn’t hate him when he reformed,  (if that was even gonna happen,) 

it was him hoping his powers were going to work.

he missed that feeling,

again. 

every time. he keeps coming back to this certain feeling, 

dread.

even though he wanted to die countless times.

he hopes he mades it out alive of this gem.

.

zz

zzz.

‘what time is it?’ steven though,

’eh, it doesn't matter anyway, i don't think time works properly in here, or at all.’

he got up to peak out the door of the random room he found,

so what if it was pinky or stoobs room?

so???

he didn't care, it was his gem,

plus he wasn't gonna be here for any longer anyway, 

steven laid back in bed, tucking himself back in bed,

“steven?” pinky was here, god fucking dammit,

“what do you want.” steven muttered as he covered himself with the blanket, wanting to be alone,

“i just came here to check up on you, you okay?” pinky worriedly asked, but, you couldn’t tell he was worried, weird. pinky was weird.

“I'm fine.” steven clearly seemed uninterested, 

“whatever you say,,” pinky walked out, closing the door behind him, 

‘yeah yeah whatever,’ steven thought, 

isnt weird that his place has rooms? 

but, also, he didnt care, if anything he was glad,

he didnt bother to question it,

he just wanted to go home.

steven just kept thinking to himself as he started drifting to sleep again,

Chapter Text

currently, whatever time it was, steven had woken up not to long ago, and had greeted pinky and stoob,

“good morning steven!” stoob said in his happy toned voice, like always, he was always so happy,

“good morning steven,” pinky commented, slightly waving at steven,

“morning?? how do you guys know what time it is??” steven said, clearly confused, (because who wouldn’t be.) 

“oh, it’s funny really, we never know what time it is, we just guess from when we wake up,” pinky laughed it off,

steven brushed it off, 

“sooo.. pinky.. how do i exactly,, reform?,” 

steven first questioned pinky, then looked at him with a hint of, worry?

“oh! uhm.. it, normally just happens on it’s own, you know? it just, happens!”

what? 

who knew how long steven was gonna be here for? 

he already missed home so much,

what if it took him 2 weeks like pearl?

no no, steven, it will be fine,

“oh, okay, thanks for, telling me,” steven responded, finally taking in what pinky said, 

“you’re welcome!” pinky smiled back, 

steven sat on the weird pink couch, the couch itself wasn’t actually weird, it just, looked just like the one from back home, but,

pink?

everything here was pink, 

sure he got used to it fast but, 

it was still unnerving the more he thought about it,

so that's why he didn’t.

he didn’t think about it,

steven had just thought about how his family was doing,

‘how were they feel?’

‘were they okay?’

‘did bismuth, lapis, and peridot find out?’

were all things that were swarming in his head, he just wanted to go home, 

suddenly, 

the place, started, glowing?, 

“oh, that was fast,,, well, i guess this is goodbye,” pinky waved to steven, a genuine smile on his face as he moved closer,

“IT WAS SO AWESOME TO MEET YOU!!” stoob got on pinkys shoulder and waved to steven,

’what the fuck?’

’WHAT'S GOING ON,’

 steven mentally panicked as he waved to pinky and stoob, 

everything kept getting brighter, brighter 

until everything was all white, 

_________________________________

pearl, amethyst, garnet, peridot, lapis, bismuth and greg, all sat in various places in the living room, taking note of the diamond right in front of them, only being reduced to it’s gem, 

“what's taking so long? rose never took this long with her regeneration ..” pearl stated worriedly, putting her head in her hands as she was sitting on the couch

“pearl,” garnet put her hand on pearls head, “steven’s half human, who knows how long it will take,” garnet reassured, but she was in fact not sure,

“yes pearl, the hard light steven’s gem would have to recreate very individual molecule and cell in his body, that can take forever!!” peridot lifted her head up to fact check pearl,

pearl sighed, “i, i-i know, i just, miss him, so much,” pearl held back the tears in her eyes,

“we all do P,” amethyst put her head down, clearly very upset,

then, the gem started glowing! 

it started floating,

first, the light had shaped into pink diamond, 

then, into rose,

finally, steven,

stevens form sparked for a second, as stevens real form showed,

he fell from the sky to the table, 

he slightly opened his eyes as he ran his hand though his hair, but before finally opening his eyes, 

he was sitting up, he looked around, and noticed, basically all his family, 

but just before he could say anything, he felt a tackle of a hug around him, 

it was pearl,

“STEVEN!!” pearl had cried out, as well as a few others as they all hugged him, he finally processed

what the 

FUCK 

just happend,

’that was a joyride,’ steven thought to himself, just before snapping out of it and hearing a voice speaking to him,

amethyst,

“DUDE! you changed!! look at your skin!” amethyst pointed out, as well as she pointed out something else,

something was different about his hair and skin, and he needed to know what,

“you got like, little faint stars on your face! seems like the rest of your body too, and-and, your hair! its got 2 little pink curls!,”

oh,

wait, 

WHAT?

soon then, he got up, and sat next to pearl on the couch, as she hugged him, a didn’t let go as some of the other gems talked to him, 

it felt,

SO nice

to be back, 

________________________

steven was upstairs, 

it has been 2 hours since he reformed, 

he was looking at himself in the mirror,

finally noticing the changes,

’faint stars,’

’2 pink curls’

but he also noticed some other things in his new form,

his eyes,

they were a faint pink with diamond pupils (thanks gem,)

his beanie had a white pin with a a dash on it, he couldn’t take if off by all means, he soon figured out that it was ment for how mant times hes poofed,

his pants also had star patches on the knee of the jeans, the stars were a more lighter blue,

it was nice, i guess, 

he just had to get used to it,

he looked around his room for something to do, 

he found his electric guitar,

(well.. more like he saw it, but u you get the point buster) 

he grabbed it with no hesatation, and plugged it in, he sat in bed, started playing,

”,,,4.2, light years away, i was slow to begin but im ready to fail,”

”i’ve been alone now, for my whole life,”

“,, and i see black, while you see white,”

”in the dark, i burn light for you,,”

”and that way, you can follow me home,,”

”im like a star,”

”im burning out fast,”

”i tired to shine,”

”BUT ITS NEVER GONNA LAST!”

song: like a star - mike krol (GO GIVE IT A LISTEN ITS SO GOOD AAH)

steven sung, he didn’t use a mic though, 

you can still hear him without a mic, 

sometimes steven can even forgot how powerful his voice is,

once he finally stopped playing, he heaed clapping as the place were his door stood, he jumped,

“WHOS THERE,?” steven turned around, just to find amethyst and greg, greg stared in awh and amethyst clapped, 

they both plopped on stevens bed, 

they all talked, admiring stevens playing, he blushed, a small smiling getting on his face

“y’know, im starting to like this new look on you,” amethyst sat up, smiling as she commented, greg agreeing, 

“really?, i,. i-i’m still getting used to it.. haha,” he laughed, glad that others were enjoying his look, because he couldn’t change it unless he poofed himself,

he wouldn’t be doing that anytime soon,

was he?

nono, of course he wouldn’t, 

steven waved bye to his dad and what felt like, his sister, 

he sat in bed after putting his guitar away, 

he stood up, and went to his dormitory, 

we walked in, he remebered all the plants that used to be in here, he gave all those plants away, like he gave the plant named ‘lars’ to lars! haha! so fun. but anyway,

he walked up to the warp, 

their was someone he wanted to visit.

Chapter Text

steven stepped off the warp, breathing in deep before opening his eyes, 

eugh, he had forgotten how bright it was here, 

steven continued walking, taking notice of the palace in front of him with white diamonds ship on top, 

that thing scared him, ever since- “STEVEN!”

steven felt 2 lengthy arms wrap around him, caught him by surprise, “spinel?” he asked, finally taking notice of the pink gem in front of him  “hey steven!!” she smiled, letting go of him, 

he chuckled to himself, “you haven’t changed,” he smiled, “you changed a ton!! hey, has anyone seen a boy with a pink jacket??” she playfully put a hand above her eyes and looked around, they both laughed, “here! come with me, then we can finally catch up on everything!” with spinel telling steven this, she grabbed his hand and hurriedly took him to her room (pinks room,)

she opened the door, steven and her greeted the pebbles, as they both then went to the balcony, and stared at the stars while infamously talking to one another, 

“man, this place hasn’t changed,” steven sighed, “I know right! it gets bornin sometimes,,” spinel had a small frown on her face, steven, took notice of spinels face change, “is there, something wrong about that?, i thought you didn't like change?” steven wondered, “and I don't! it's just, it's been too long,, i like at least a little change!”

“oh, right, you should get a little change,” steven agreed, “well, there isn't really much we can do about it,” “hm, true,” both steven and spinel sighed,

it was nice speaking to spinel again,

“hey, spinel? it’s been ages since i talked to you, this felt, really nice, y’know to, speak to you again,”

“really? ha! nice try,”

they both laughed as they laid down on the floor that was their balcony, as the pebbles ran up to them, 

“i haven’t seen homeworld in a while, do you wanna give me a tour?” steven asked while sitting up, “DUH!!!” spinel stood up and grabbed his hand, both of them running as she took him to the first thing she wanted to show him,

____________________

it’s been, too many hours, just walking, spinel showing steven everything there is to homeworld. If he were to think, he would believe that they toured around the whole planet,,, soon then, spinel brought steven to blue, why? he didn’t know, 

they entered the room, he forgot how blue it was here, it almost hurt his eyes, 

“steven! get on!” spinel laidback on a cloud, putting her hands behind her head,

so steven got on one, seemed fun anyway, he felt the cheer in no time, he was smiling, but not from the clouds, it was, nice, he was having, fun, 

blue was there too, it was her first time seeing steven since the, incident.

steven started taking his mind off of that, but overall, blue was very happy to see him again, him, spinel, and blue all started talking about recent things with them, or upcoming events, blue told steven that they were going to vote for a new zircon in a couple weeks, nice! that was interesting indeed,

steven and spinel soon then left blues place, steven then went home, he wasn’t sure want time it was, all he knew was that it was the next day, and it was night time when he left, 

fuck, he was out all night,

steven wasnt that tired (he was exhausted.) he changed into some pajamas and laid in bed, he mumbled something inaudible to himself as he slipped under the covers, he was kinda cold, 

he laid there, enjoying the emptiness and and silence that was his room, the sound of crickets outside, the sun slowly rising, as his eyelids get heavier and heavier, he tired to stay awake, for what reason? he didn’t really know, but his body said otherwise, as he then drifted off to sleep,

________________

he woke up, it was, monday? ugh. he was supposed to leave yesterday, but no!!! he reformed instead- wait, he was supposed to,- oh my stars,

stevens eyes shot open as he grabbed his phone, and texted his bandmates, but before he did that, he saw he had some unread messages from jay, greg, and pearl, he read pearls messages first,

>Hi Steven! Noticed you weren’t home last night.. Be home soon! We love you! Me, Garnet, and Amethyst will be home late, love you! ❤️

steven noticed her message, he smiled at pearls care,

> hi pearl, im home now, see you when you get home, love you❤️

steven sent the message to pearl, he smiled as he then replied to the other messages greg sent steven, then he got to jay,

>dude? aren't we leaving today? where are you?

>im getting worried,

>your location doesn’t say where you are?

>well just stay in the hotel till you respond,

>i miss you,

>are you okay?

awh shit, this made steven feel even worse then he already felt, steven starts to type,

>hey, sorry i wasn’t responding, i was visiting family, also, change of plans, this trips ended up longer then expected, sorry, 

steven sent the message and turned off his phone, putting it back on the nightstand where it originally took place before steven picked it up, he didn’t care what the messages that were being sent to him said, he was so tired,

steven tries to drift off to sleep, it somehow worked, 

______________________

steven had gotten up, it was around afternoon time, he forgot he got home at like, 5 am, he had gotten up and washed himself, making himself a cup of coffee, as steven scrolled endlessly through his screen,

he turned off his phone for a moment, and stared off into space, thinking about different events that happened in his life, zoning out even, dissociating? maybe not, he didn’t know anymore, he never knew anymore, sigh.

how boring.

Chapter Text

steven sat there, he was sitting there at the dining table, staring into nothing, it was the afternoon, he wasn’t sure what time it was, but it was bright as day out, steven was staring at his phone, not doing anything, zoning out, until-

“HEY STEVEN!” amethyst bursts through the door, slamming said door as steven shuttered, his eyes widened in surprise, he also noticed pearl were there, “hello steven! you're awake!” pearl put her hands together

  “oh! h-hey amethyst, and hello pearl,” steven calmed himself down as amethyst approached him, pearl looming behind amethyst, listening intently, amethyst noticed his phone in his hands, and that there were some unread messages,

“oh dude, by the way, you got some unread messages,” she pointed to steven's phone, as steven became nervous, he lifted his shirt and stored his phone inside his gem (like pearl,) “oh haha! don’t-don’t worry about it!” 

steven shrugged as his shirt went back down, amethyst looked back in confusion, not because he put his phone away in his gem, it’s because he was acting really, weird?,

“i, wasn’t? eh- it’s whatever, anyway, how was your day?” amethyst looked to the side, but then she sparked back up and smiled at steven, stevens face softened as he prepared to respond, “my day was fine, yours?” steven smiled, “my day was great!” pearl smiled “dude, I texted you ALLLL about it!! did you not get my message??” amethyst was smiling, she raised an eyebrow, 

shit,

steven remembers now, he saw a message she sent, he didn’t read it,

“aah,, i remember now, i didn't get to read it, here, let me get it,” steven recollected as he tried to summon his phone from his gem,

aha!- oh wait,

this isn't his phone? It was a bottle of water?

steven tried again, failed, tried again, failed,

fuckkkk,,,

“is, everything okay steven?” “I'm,- ugh, amethyst, pearl, i need you to do me a favor, i need you to go inside my gem and grab my phone, are you able to do that?” steven looked at both of the 2 gems, the 2 gems exchanged looks, but, these looks looked more like looks of worry and concern instead of what steven was thinking, 

“if you say so,” amethyst accepted, pearl agreed, 

“but before that, pearl, can i have your phone?” steven turned to pearl “mhm!” pearl handed steven her phone, “but, for what reason?” pearl questioned “because when you guys finally find my phone, i want you to text pearls number so then i can pull you guys out of my gem,” amethyst and pearl nodded at stevens words, steven put the 2 gems in a bubble, when suddenly-

________________________

“ugm,, where are we?,,” amethyst sat up as she rubbed her head, pearl also got up with amethyst, taking note of where she was, “hmm, were unbubbled, so that's good,” pearl finally stands up, her hand on her chin as amethyst stands up with her, “hey look another steven! maybe he can help!” amethyst basically rushed over to go speak with him, “amethyst!- ughh,,” pearl groaned as she went up to stand right beside the other steven, 

“steven?” she put her hand on her son’s (?) shoulder, as he turned around in surprise, then he smiled as he took notice of the 2 gems that were behind him, then he picked up the short gem by her shoulders and held her, looking at the catalog of items in front of himself, “amethyst, where should i put you,,” steven looked at his rather, small collection of items he was organizing, sure, in retrospect it was a pretty big ‘collection’, but not as big as pearls, 

“steven,” amethyst mumbled as she squirmed in his arm, steven finally realized what he was doing. “oops,” he let go of amethyst, she fell to the floor, “wh-, why are you two here?” steven's eyebrows furrowed as he still had a smile on his face, ”we came here to look for your phone!” pearl smiled externally, but internally she was nervous, “my phone? , oh yeah! my phone!,, it should be rightttt,,, here!.” steven looked thru the catalog, finding the spot where his would be,

“uhm,,” steven started to look a little, worried, “is everything okay steven?” pearl looked at him, “its,, not here,, but, why wouldn't it be here?? or, another me took it,” steven put his hand on his chin, looking a little concerned  “wha-what do you mean another you??”  amethyst slightly raised her voice in surprise, “could you take us to this, other you?” pearl suggested, “ ooooh noo,, you do not want to go there,,” steven moved his hands into an ‘X’ shape, he looked nervous, “dude, just take us to this ‘other you’ so we can find your phone,” amethyst stated, steven sighed, “fine,” steven bubbled pearl and amethyst when, suddenly everything turned white again, like always, 

________________________

“eeeughh,,” amethyst groaned as she put her hand on her head, opening her eyes, pearl was next to amethyst, amethyst opened her eyes, “wait, where are we? this doesn't look like stevens gem,” amethyst commented “if anything, this place looks like- ""the hand ship!” amethyst interrupted pearl. “I was going to say that.” pearl snarked 

“yeah yeah, anyway,-“ once amethyst started talking she was interrupted by a loud ‘CRASH!!’ “WHAT WAS THAT?” pearl raised her voice in shock, but also fear, both of them started rushing to try and find a safe place, instead they were met with the control room, “STEVEN!” pearl spoke out, but this wasn't the steven they knew today, he looked, younger? “steven! do you have your phone on you?” amethyst asked the younger steven, he looked distressed, “m-my phone?,, i-i left it with dad back home,” the younger steven spoke out nervously, pearl and amethyst sighed, “could you store us in your gem?” pearl put her hands on stevens shoulders, he nodded unsurely, then steven bubbled the 2 gems when-

________________________

the 2 gems were met with complete darkness, hints of a dark cyan were slithered around the walls, they heard muttering, mumbling and distant talking, the voices sounded, familiar,

“what the f-“ “hm, this place doesn’t look like one of our adventures?,,” pearl mumbled to herself, interrupting amethyst as she slightly stood up, taking note of where she was, the place was very, unfamiliar, amethyst sat upwards and looked in front of her, she noticed 2 people, there was, lapis? but this didn't look like the current lapis, it looked like, past lapis, and, steven! it looked like the same steven they were talking to earlier, just, not as scared, awh what am i kidding, he looked equally as nervous, 

“steven?” pearl wondered as she finally took notice of the people in her surroundings, ‘where are we?’ those words sat in pearl’s head, as amethyst started to overhear lapis speaking to steven, very loudly, “STEVEN!? YOU BROUGHT THEM TOO?? I HAVE TO STAY FOCUSED!!” lapis raised her voice to steven, pointing out pearl and amethyst as she tugged on the chains on her hands once more, “what? lapis!-” steven clearly wanted to help lapis, but there was nothing he could do, 

“pearl, what do you think they are talking about?,” “us amethyst, she's talking about us, but, what does she have to stay focused about-” 

pearls question was soon answered when lapis sunk into the floor, the floor was, wet?,

“LAPIS!!” steven went on his knees, oh how he cared for people so much, but as soon as he called out to lapis, the ground started to shake, then, they saw how steven started to back up, first slowly, then a large hand appeared from the ground, then steven started to run from it, he looked ahead of him to find amethyst and pearl,

“why did she have chains?,,” amethyst spoke to pearl, not connecting the dots on what's going on, “its,-“ “GUYS!” they both heard steven call out to them, they looked at him, steven was backing up, until pearl and amethyst realized, THEY GOTTA BACK UP TOO OH MY STARS WHAT IS THAT- 

malachite.

“GUYS! wha-what are you doing here? shouldn’t you be back at the temple sleeping? how did you even get into my dream? wh-, why are your outfits different?” steven kept on asking so many questions, “lil man!” amethyst looked steven face to face by putting her hands on his shoulders, (oh how she hasn’t been able to do that for so long,) “dude, this question im about to ask you will determine how the future goes,,” amethyst told him sternly, looking him in the eyes, “what is it?” steven asked back, raising an eyebrow, 

“do you have your phone with you?” she spoke to him, hiding the soon to be smile on her face, “n-no? w-why would i ? I'm sleeping! why would I need my phone ?,,”

no dice, 

“okay so, this might sound weird but, we are on a mission to look for your phone and, could you store us in your gem? we think it might be in there, you can do that, right lil man?” amethyst took her hands off stevens shoulders and ruffled his hair, clearly trying to ignore the fact that malachite was behind them, he bubbled the duo when suddenly-

(your gonna hear that a lot)

_____________________

“ugh,, why is it always the floor,” amethyst sat up almost immediately as she hit the floor, how long was she out for? pearl was already sitting up, its was probably a few seconds- that's not the point right now, 

amethyst turned her head to look at pearl, to see if she knew anything of what or where they were, the room they were in was something they had never seen before, amethyst studied pearl’s expression, pearl looked, worried, why? she wasn’t sure, she was never really sure of anything at this point,

“pearl? you oka-“ amethyst was then cut off by pearl putting her hand on amethysts mouth, “shh,,” pearl whispered quietly as she started to stand

pearl started to walk over to the side of the bed in the room they were in, “steven? a-are you okay?,” pearl called out to him, kneeling once she finally reached him

“i-i just cant pearl, everythings been too much, , but i don't know what to do anymore! it, it was stupid of me to try and kill myself, what good am i now? I'm so , so STUPID! what is my problem ?,,,” 

pearl connected the situation to his words, oh, oh her sweet boy, 

“steven, what-what made you think this way?,”

“everything! ever since i moved i've been feeling so homesick, i've been letting out all my emotions onto myself, hell, i slammed my head into the wall like 19 minutes ago!” steven clearly seemed to get more and more upset by the minute, as he pointed out the big cracked in his wall, pearl took careful notice of this, she hugged him,

she hugged him hard, like she wouldn’t let go “what are you doing,” he responded blankly to the hug, not hugging back, “steven- i-i’m hugging you?” “yeah i know that but, why? ” “w-, because! you're going through a tough time i want to make sure you know i'm there for you!” pearl stood up from the hug, a wave of remorse hit her like nothing before, putting her hands on her chest while speaking “yeah okay, that's just what everyone else says, then your going to leave me like everyone else, heh, drift away even,” amethyst finally took in what he was saying, 

“steven, we're always here for you, you know that, right?” steven glared at amethyst, why was he acting like this? “could you two just, leave me alone,,” the tears the stevens eyes started to spill even more than they already were, 

oh, that was, not apart of the plan, 

at all, 

amethyst sighed, not wanted to bother the clearly distressed steven, so she backed up from where she was, until- 

“AAH!-” “AMETHYST! ARE YOU OKAY??” pearl looked over to amethyst, who was on the floor, she tripped on something? “dude why is there a hammer on the floor?” amethyst got up from the floor, hammer in hand as she turned her head to steven, he looked back, a smile creeping on his face, “OH! HAHA! THAT, hahaha! that, that was my failed attempt, but-but that's okay! It's not important right now! It's over, it happened, it's fine!” 

what?

“steven?, what do you mean, attempt?..” amethyst spoke out to him, pearl turned her head to face him, amethyst was really hoping this ‘attempt’ wasn’t what she thought it was.

“oh just a silly little thing I did! no biggie! don’t worry about it!” steven stood up, walking over to amethyst, taking the hammer from her, and slightly throwing it behind him,

“hey! I was holding tha-” “so. what are you two doing here anyway?” steven cut amethyst off, kneeling to her level, raising an eyebrow, he seemed, annoyed “well, if you’re so eager to know, we’re looking for your phone, do you have it?” steven chuckled before he spoke, “no,” he bubbled the 2 gems, here we go again.

_______________________________

hm, it looked like the place that lapis and steven were in earlier, just, instead of cyan it was pink, “gOD DAMNIT!” the 2 gems heard steven yell out, how were they so sure it was steven? It was obvious, because by the time he yelled, pearl and amethyst looked ahead of them, just to only find steven,, running his hands in his hair, when pearl started to walk, run to him, 

“STEVEN!” pearl finally got near steven, she didn't get too close, but she was around 4-6 feet away from him, “ste-man?,,” amethyst was standing next to pearl, her eyebrows were furrowed, 

“It happened so sudden.” steven just stood there, his face was shell shocked, “s-steven? where are we?,, are you okay?” pearl peaked over steven's shoulder, her face filled with worry, “the corruption.” 

that's what this was about,

“oh steven, i-,” once pearl started peaking, she got closer to steven and put her hand on his shoulder, he quickly turned to face her, “GET AWAY!-, oh. It-, it's just you guys, what-what are you doing here?,,” he seemed scared, nervous, and unsettled, “we, we came here to look for your phone but, this,- this seems a little more important,” pearl put her hand back to her chest, “oh, of course.” steven turned back around, “well, what's on your mind?” amethyst suggested, trying to lighten the mood,

 “are they ever going to forgive me?, oh stars,,” steven ran his hands through his hair, heavily breathing, trying to calm his situation, (but he might just make it worse,) “AGH!-” “STEVEN!” chains made of water held onto stevens wrists, he just kept pulling, he seemed to be getting weak, but he wouldn’t give up, 

pearl remembered this moment, the agony, the tears, the-, oh the diamonds,, the nuisances they were, pearl kept thinking to herself, 

amethyst was slowly trying to recall what happened, not because she wanted to, because she had to, to help steven, when the event first happened, she tried to erase the memory from her head so bad, she wanted to pretend it never even happened in the first place, 

steven, he-he had horns on his head, not big ones, but also small spikes on him, everywhere you looked, he tugged on the chains one last time when all the horns and spikes on his body glowed, and steven? he screamed, the chains, they, they broke off? what the fuck was going on,, was he even okay from that? of course he wasn’t, once pearl and amethyst uncovered their non-existent ears, they hear a voice start to speak out, “finally,” steven just kept mumbling to himself, 

“could you two, leave?.” he turned his head to face them, his body still standing there, not wanting to face the two gems behind him, “not until we find your phone little bro.” amethyst was very unsure when saying that but, this steven wasn’t real? It's fine, “well, ‘bro’” steven held up air quotes when saying that, “i don’t have my phone on me, ill, just, store you in my gem.” “thank you!” pearl shot up, as he bubbled the two gems, he didn’t dare to look at them, he seemed, ashamed? as the room flashed white again, hopefully they would soon stop seeing that white flash.

________________________________

“where are we?,” amethyst mumbled as she sat up, running her hand through her bangs, as pearl finally sat up and took notice of what and where she was, ‘are we? no way,’ pearl kept thinking to herself as she looked up from the ground, she noticed a familiar small figure, it,- wait no, HE, , HE?? “STEVEN?” pearl shot up with worry, amethyst soon following, finally understanding where the fuck she was,

 pearl raced over to the shaking boy, he was, crying, he seemed in a lot of pain, why? Oh she would find out very soon.  really weak, pale, “s-steven, steven? ar-are you okay?” pearl asked in worry as she put her shoulders on the boy, he finally looked up at her, his eyes widened, not out of fear, but in shock, surprise even! “pe-pearl? but, but how are you? h-how are you here?” “that doesn’t matter right now steven, wha-whats going on, tell me!” pearl kept asking the boy in fear for his life, sure he wasn’t real, but he felt for her.  “white, she, she-she,” the boy started to break out in more tears as he collapsed onto the slim figure, amethyst, watching this go down, looked around her, her eyes widened as she found out where she was in,,,

whites head.

thoughts ran through her head fast, she reviewed in her filled head on what the boy said, ‘she? why?,, what is he talking about,, when was this? when did this happen? where are we?’’ she kept thinking to herself as she looked around even more, she saw,

 oh god, 

it was,

 Unsettling,

 Unnerving,

 it was,

 Her,

 Her, pearl, and garnet, they were standing there, from a distance, smiling, not even blinking, amethyst felt tingles go down her non-existent spine,,        

 pearl finally got steven to stop sobbing, “she,- white, took-, took my gem, she-she ripped it out!” he looked like he was going to pass out, pearl felt tears build up in her eyes, ’so that's why he was so afraid of white,’ pearl thought as she let the tears pour, she held,- no not held, she hugged him, and oh did she hug him hard, amethyst let her tears pour out, also hugging steven, not fully as pearl, but from the side, the 2 gems finally understood why steven acted so different after that trip,

amethyst soon hid her tears, wanting to get this trip over with, she stood up, and let her hand out for pearl to hold, pearl took notice and accepted amethysts hand, standing up with amethyst, letting go of her hand to hide her face, she was still crying,

“steven,-” “no amethyst, i know what you're going to ask, looking for this?” 

steven cut amethyst off, he was still weak sure but he clearly and somehow had at least some energy in his body for this, once he was done speaking, he took out stevens phone, 

“looking for this?,,” he smiled slightly, as amethyst took it from his hands, 

Amethyst started to unlock stevens phone and text pearls number when pearl, looked down at steven, she kneeled down and hugged him once more, as once she let go, he waved, before soon, all the memories that they passed though all started flashing at once, then-

_____________________________

“OOF!-”, amethyst called out hitting the floor, pearl soon following, 

“guys! you’re okay!” steven smiled as he helped the two gems up, 

“steven,’ amethyst started, pearl couldn’t speak at all. she was too worked up, “oh, right, that, ” steven turned his head, seeming rather ashamed, “why didn’t you tell us?” amethyst tried not to use too much tone with her voice, but it kinda just spilled out, “i-, i didn’t want to worry you, i also didn’t want you to hate white forever!” he turned his head back around to face them, he sighed, amethysts face softened, steven ended up taking his phone and going back upstairs, 

“thanks, by the way,” steven added on his way up to his soon-to-not-be room

Chapter Text

steven yawned before starting to wake up, this morning was going to be rather calm, he could feel it, 

feel it? that’s a stupid line, but whatever! It was fine! everything's fine now!, 

DING!

what. who the fuck is messaging him at this time?-

oh, it was 10:36 AM, average time for someone to be awake, no wonder he got a message,

>HEY STEVEN!!!1 me jay and damien were wondering if you wanted to join us in bowling!! (i knew you were already going to say yes but jay kept pressuring me to)

steven didn’t have anything planned for today, until now

>I would LOVE too! count me in! 

>okay good, meet us at funland in 10? 

>sorru that was jay anyway ya see u there !1!

>see ya

steven turned off his phone and sighed once more, he got up to change, he swarmed through his closet to find something to wear,

_____________________________

he finally settled on some clothes to wear, they were laid on his bed, steven checked how much time he had left before he had to meet up with the boys, 

SHIT! HE WAS ALREADY LATE??

steven practically dropped his phone when he swiped the clothing from his bed and put them on, he didn't care how messy he looked right now he just needed to get to funland, and fast, 

steven, once he was done dressing, he was wearing his beanie, (duh) which was a dark green, a long sleeve shirt with the same dark green the beanie was, he was also wearing a black vest on top of the long sleeve, the vest was buttoned up with a few pins on the side pocket, he also wore some baggy black jeans, (he got that heel bite!!) with his headphones! and some converse, as he rushed downstairs, no one was home, good, he would out for a while,

___________________________

once steven finally got to the boardwalk, memories and feelings started rushing back to him, oh how have things changed so much since he last walked down here when he was younger, all the times he went to peedee for fry bits, the times he went with his friends or the gems to the arcade, the time with spinel, 

why did it all have to change?

no, 

why did HE have to change? everything was fine before he left beach city, but NO!! he had to fuck it up, he had to fuck up the future, everyone else’s future, all because of him. what a screw up, now look at him, not even a real job, a depressed suicidal loser, how useless of him.

how did his own friends like him? 

sigh, what good was he now, he should just-

“STEVEN!” 

steven looked up from where he was, it was, damien?

“oh hey damien, where are jay and omar?” steven shrugged as he questioned his friend standing in front of him, oh how he was glad to have him, “well, actually,-”

“BOO!!” omar and jay jumped behind steven, causing him to jump in shock, 

“EEP!- oh, it's just you guys” steven turned around to face who was behind him, just his 2 other band mates omar and jay, he smiled at the appearance of the two,”hey dude,” omar waved slightly, jay hugged steven “miss ya! you big goof you weren’t texting me!, i got worried,” jay laughed, letting go of steven, steven laughed back, before damien started speaking again

“sooooo,,,,, where is this bowling place anyway?” he shot up, he seemed excited “oh it's like, down this boardwalk,,” as steven spoke up to damien, he pointed down the boardwalk, “then lets GOOO!!!!!!!” damien started sprinting ahead of the 3 other boys, “HEY! wait up!!” omar sped over to catch up to damien, steven lightly laughing as jay smiled the 2 continued to walk at a normal pace, 

_________________

steven was over by the bowling balls, picking out some to use when it was his turn, then, steven noticed jay! jay was also looking for a ball, but mainly looking forward to speaking with steven, 

“hey, need help with one of the heavier bowling balls?” jay practically slid over to where steven was, “no, not really, these are pretty light,, want one?” steven suggested, “sure!” jay opened his arms out to steven, waiting for him to give him the ball, 

“OOF-” jay almost fell to the floor as steven gave jay one of the bowling balls he was holding, “DUDE, THIS IS LIKE, 10 POUNDS!! WHAT THE FUC-” “uh, its actually 9 ½. but also 10 pounds isn't even that much weight to hold,” steven shrugged,

“wha-” jay fell over, the bowling ball rolled away from his grasp, “here, i—i’ll pick that up,” steven started to snicker as he went to go grab the rolling ball, once he got it he came back to where jay was, still on the floor, steven put the bowling balls on the rack and held his hand in front of jay “need a hand? ” steven chortled as jay took his hand, “hup! haha-, thanks,” jay chuckled as he stood up, , facing steven, “that was- the wwwWORST! pick up, or, an attempt at a pick up line, EVER !” steven laughed as if he was in a laughing stock, jay joined in,

“JAY! IT’S YOUR TURN!” omar called out to jay from across the ally “oops, that's my cue, gotta bounce!” jay quickly grabbed a ball and sprinted over,

they were having so much fun, omar was getting close to steven's score, but he was in the lead, 

“baby, how are you so good at bowling?” jay commented as he walked over to steven, jay was in dead last, made steven sneer, “eh, i used to bowl a lot with my dad,” steven shrugged

“hm,," steven put his hand into his chin, thinking, but this thinking was interrupted by a loud

“BOOYAA!!!!” omar got a strike, “HELL YEAH!! GOT S STRIKE!! BEAT THAT STEVEN U!!!!” omar teased as he walked past him, omar and steven were now tied

“oh you wanna go?,” steven joked back as he grabbed a ball, 

“,,hm,,,” the ends of steven's mouth dented for a moment as he thought before throwing the ball, there were a couple throws before the game was over, steven wasn't too worried, he threw, 

not a strike, but he hit most of the pins, “not bad,” he thought as he went to sit down once his turn was over, 

________________

steven sat down at the couch that was next to the actual place where you bowl, he was watching omar struggle to pick up a ball, heh, funny, 

then, jay walked and sat next to steven, “y’know, you’re wearing something really formal to something so casual like bowling,” jay chuckled slightly, steven looked over to jay, he blushed a little, his outfit was a bit much, not like he hated it, he loved his outfit, “i-i mean! don’t get me wrong you look amazing but it was just unexpected,” jay smiled once more, that made steven smile,  

“jeez jay, 2nd pick up of the night? and you’re rusty?,, pfft-“ steven snickered “SSSSHHHHH STOPPP-“ jay play fought with steven,

______________

it was stevens turn, he was a little nervous, but to be fair, this was the last throw of the night, he would win no matter what,

.

. .

. . . 

STRIKE !!!!!!

“ NNOOO!!!!!” omar was clearly unsatisfied, steven had won “good job hun!!” jay pumped his first “YIPPEE!!!” damien had his arms out

“phew, not bad,” steven had a small smirk on his face, he put his hands on his hips,

______________

they were all sitting down at a nearby bench, steven and jay were on the bench, while damien and omar sat on the ground, steven insisted that they can have the seat, but they refused, they had all gotten fries, so they were just having a conversation at the moment, everything was going smoothly,

at least, to steven.

Chapter Text

steven stood awake, this morning wasn’t going to be the greatest for him, obviously, he was leaving today for crying out loud! steven hated goodbyes, he didn't want to leave, but of course, he had another life ahead of him, steven quickly got changed into something more comfortable, since he was going to be driving a long while, steven started to gather his items, then he found, the picture, it was a picture of amethyst, garnet and pearl, he had it with him in empire city, why did he take it with him? that was stupid, he was living with the gems! 

sigh,  steven packed away the photo, along with some other stuff he was packing, 

_____________________

once steven was finally done packing up the clothing he brought,

‘why did I even bring this much clothing? I don't even need this much!’ steven thought to himself as he grabbed his bags, going downstairs, 

he finally reached the bottom, noticing the gems in the living room, “oh! hello steven! leaving so soon?” pearl asked, smiling, “oh! haha nope, i'm not leaving now, i'm just going to say bye to people and put my bags in the car,” steven smiled, of course not a happy smile, just a reassuring one, steven wanted to do something before he left, he put his bags down by the door, then he finally noticed the 3 gems standing, they had happy-worry looks on their faces, he stared at them, his smile grew just a bit bigger, his eyebrows furrowed, he speed-walks over and hugs pearl, and oh how he hugged her tight, she hugged back, garnet and amethyst joined in the hug

like a family reunion! 

it just, wasn't the same as a real family reunion.

_____________

steven was driving to the place omar, damien, and jay were staying at, and for the final time too, they all finally got in, “jeez, i'm glad we’re finally leaving that hotel,” jay commented as he got comfortable, “yeah, and i’m glad we finally get to leave this city,” steven muttered, he started to drive back to the beach house, he wanted to give the gems one last goodbye before he leaves for another couple years, god steven you are so selfish, leaving your family behind, that's a dumb thing to do, 

,, OF COURSE IT WAS DUMB !! why is he SO stupid? 

once he finally got back, he told the boys to stay in the car, as he went back to, of course, say bye to the gems one final time,  

steven wasn’t that far away from the car when he bumped into the gems 

he stared at them for a moment, letting his tears fall, sure, his stay wasn’t long, but that doesn't mean it wasn’t important to him, or to the gems, pearl hugged him, “it’s okay steven, you’ll have to leave eventually,” pearl comforted “i know,” steven responded, accepting the hug, not to long after, the 2 other gems standing there joined the small hug,- well, more of a crying squad now, haha, once they finally let go, steven took a deep breath, 

“thank you,”

he spoke out, “for what steven?” pearl questioned,

“for, everything, you guys have done everything for me, and i just wanted to thank you for that, you guys mean a lot to me, i think about you guys almost everyday, and, well-, yeah,” steven smiled at the trio in front of him, “oh steven, how did we get so lucky,” garnet ruffled steven's hair as he sneered, 

steven finally said goodbye to the gems, he got back to the car, and he drove off, 

off to see what adventures await the boys.