Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Leon was Camelot’s first knight, a member of the Round Table, and Arthur’s most trusted.

He had friends among the knights, especially among the others of the Round Table.

He was living the dream of every knight who had ever come before him. 

trusted and loved by his king,

Respected,

Looked up to. 

He should’ve been happy.

He was supposed to be.

He had to be the perfect model, someone the squires and young knights looked up to and achieved to be like. 

That is what everyone saw. The perfect loyal knight who’d die for his king. 

He thought he would. He was hoping he would. 

He had.

But his eyes kept opening when they should’ve stayed closed. 

Leon figured out about his immortality the hard way.

He was on patrol with five other knights; it was supposed to be a simple border patrol to ensure no other kingdoms nor bandits had been crossing over into Camelot Land. 

They weren’t prepared for the attack; they were outnumbered; it was a slaughter.

It wasn’t the first time something like that had happened; a few years ago, Leon and two other knights were attacked on a patrol by Cendred’s men. He was the only one that survived thanks to the Druid’s finding him and bringing him back to health. 

Now, even years later, Arthur had increased the number of knights on patrols to prevent stuff like that from happening. But even six fine knights of Camelot were no match for over a dozen magic users. 

There was also when the dragon attacked Camelot—hundreds of people burned in the flames, nobles and peasants alike– he himself was not safe from the flames, his face along with his chest and torso still bore the scars from the attack. The damned beast had burned nearly the whole right side of his body. He heard the gasps and whispers of others when they saw him, he’d even caused a few servants to faint. He lost most of the senses on his right side, it was so bad Uther gave him the choice to retire early with honor.

He didn't take it. 

Leon did not hate magic; he was born before the ban was placed; he was only 4 summers then, but he remembered a Druid maid that served his mother. When he cried, she would summon things like butterflies or lights with magic to calm him down.

She was one of the first to be executed when the great purge started. 

His mother had loved magic before the purge; she taught him that it was a gift, not just a weapon. But then Uther’s laws prohibit anyone to speak of magic, and she never once spoke of it, nor her former maid.

After the druids had brought him back to health, he felt he owed them a debt, not only for saving his life but also for all the magic users he was made to kill.

Maybe this was his punishment for being so loyal to the Pendragons. A punishment to live for eternity with the blood of hundreds of innocents. 

For that reason he could not blame the sorcerers for wanting him and his brothers-in-arms dead; they had every reason to hate them. And despite everything he did not blame the dragon for wanting to rain fire down on Camelot, it too had a reason to hate them. 

Dying had hurt for the first time, and as he closed his remaining eye, he thought they would never open again, but he was wrong, so very wrong. 

When he opened his eye again, he thought he was still dead, just in some form of afterlife, maybe even a ghost. 

It didn’t take him long to figure out that wasn’t the case. 

The wound wasn’t even there anymore, but he was still covered in his own blood. He was pale, like he should’ve been dead. 

Should’ve been dead.

Dead like the knights he had taken on the patrol with him, they were younger knights, only knighted a few moons ago. They were so happy to go on a patrol with the first knight of Camelot. They didn’t deserve this. 

He had laid there for what seemed like hours, in shock of it all. 

Maybe if he closed his eyes long enough, they would stay closed.

That didn’t work.

The journey back to Camelot was a blur, he didn’t even remember getting up, his feet simply dragged him against his will. His fate to always serve a crown, no matter what. 

He didn’t even fully process what had happened until he had finally got back to Camelot, 

he had just died. 

He had come back from the dead. 

Why?

His whole body was shaking, but he couldn’t tell if it was from pain or shock, 

Probably both.

His fellow Knights surrounded him as he entered the citadel, blaring questions down at him.

“What happened?”

“Where’s the rest of the patrol?”

“Where’s your horse?”

“You must see the king!” 

“Are you hurt, Leon?”

That question was strange, different from the others. 

Leon looked towards where the voice had come from, he saw wide blue eyes staring back at him. 

Merlin. 

Merlin was always there.

Merlin always knew when something was wrong. 

Leon didn’t even realize Merlin was dragging him away from the other knights and towards the castle, 

“I’m taking you to Gaius, you’re obviously hurt.” 

Wait, there was no wound, it was gone, he couldn’t let them see it had healed, it would look too close to-

Magic.

This did have something to do with Magic, it had to. 

Leon jerked away from Merlin’s grip, making them both stumble. “I’m fine, I don't need Gaius,” Merlin only narrowed his eyes at him as he raised an eyebrow, Leon almost shivered at how much he looked like Gaius while doing that. 

“You’re covered in blood, and you’re obviously in shock, so even if it somehow isn’t your blood, which yes I know you were about to say that, you still need to be checked over by a physician.” Merlin went to grab Leon’s shoulder again but Leon backed away. 

How was he supposed to explain these things to Gaius? The physician was old but he would see right through Leon’s lies. 

“I’m fine, Merlin.” Leon hated lying, especially to Merlin, who wouldn’t? He was a good friend to anyone, even animals. 

Leon had seen wild animals walk right up to Merlin and nuzzle him like puppies craving attention, hell, Leon would believe Merlin was capable of taming a dragon, like the one who had rained fire down on Camelot. 

“No, you're not” curse Merlin and his stubbornness. 

“Please, just- I don't need to see Gaius, I'm fine. I need to report to the King.” Leon turned and walked away from Merlin before he could drag him to the physician's chambers.

Merlin stared after Leon, his eyes narrowed. He knew Leon was not the best at talking to people but that was weird, even for him. The man looked like a walking corpse, he was covered in muddy blood like he had been lying in the dirt while bleeding out, his blonde curly hair dirty and tangled, not to mention his eye bags made him look like a skeleton from how dark and sunken in they were. 

He’d have to keep an eye on Leon. 

Chapter Text

Leon felt unstable on his own feet, bumping into walls on his way, stumbling into passing servants. Many of them tried to help him or ask what was wrong but he ignored them. He had to get to Arthur and tell him of the deaths, the deaths that were his fault. 

As he turned a corner he ran into someone, his reflexes failed him, leaving him unable to save himself from falling harshly to the ground. The person, whom he had bumped into, had steadied himself and hadn't fallen. He walked over to where Leon had fallen, his long black hair still somehow perfect. 

“Oh shit- you alright mate?” the person- Sir Gwaine, held out his hand for Leon to grab. 

Leon didn't take it.

Leon had nothing against Gwaine, he was honorable, and a good friend to Merlin and Arthur. But the knight was too wild, he often got himself into trouble. Of course, people would just blame that on him being born a peasant. But Leon knew that was what Gwaine wanted others to think, and Leon saw right through him. 

Leon got up on his own, well, mostly on his own, Gwaine had to steady him with a hand on his left shoulder. “I'm fine”  he mumbled as he pushed Gwaine’s hand away. 

“You sure? You look like one of those undead knights!” Leon did not enjoy that comparison. 

Leon remembered the undead army that the High Priestess, Morgause, had summoned, with the help of the cup of life-

The cup of life. The same damned thing he drank from. 

Was that what he was? An undead knight? Nothing more than a walking corpse? An anomaly? The burn scars definitely didn't help him look more alive. 

“-eon?” Leon?”

Leon jerked his head up, when had he looked to the floor? He realized that Gwaine was staring at him with concern. “What did you say?” 

Gwaine somehow looked more concerned, “I said- do you need to go see Gaius? You seriously do not look good.” 

Leon scoffed, “I said I was fine.” he pushed Gwaine aside and kept walking, he had to speak with Arthur. 

He heard Gwaine shout after him but he ignored him, he had to speak with Arthur.

When he finally got to Arthur's chambers he didn't even bother to knock; he just pushed the doors open, making Arthur nearly drop ink all over the papers on his desk, most of them undoubtedly being written by Merlin. 

“Sir Leon! What happened?” Arthur shot out of his chair and rushed over to the knight. “Are you hurt?” 

Again with that stupid question. “No- I'm fine, sire, but the patrol- gods- I’m sorry- we were attacked!” Leon felt something wet fill his eye, what was that? 

Arthur put his hands on his shoulders to steady him, why was he so unstable? “Slow down Leon, who attacked your patrol?” 

“I don't know– they didn't have a crest of any kingdom, but there were so many of them! We were outnumbered, it was a slaughter…” a slaughter except for him… “I'm sorry- I couldn't save them..” 

Arthur took a breath and nodded, a solemn expression on his face as he realized why Leon was so distraught. “I need you to breathe, okay? It is not your fault, things like this happen on patrols–”

But how many were on his patrols? 

“I chose them for that patrol! I killed them!” Leon felt the water in his eye threaten to fall as he yelled at his king- an act he should've been killed for. 

Not that it would work anyway.

“You couldn't have known what was going to happen.”  

Leon wiped his eye, now realizing he was about to cry. “I should have,”  his voice cracked. 

Arthur remained silent then glanced over at Leon again, “We can discuss more of this later, now, I think you need to go see Gaius and have your injuries checked over.”  

“It's fine, I've already been checked over.” Leon thought he was about to get away with that lie until he was interrupted by a rather familiar voice.

“No, you haven't.” Leon froze before turning around to face Merlin's blue eyes again. They were quite nice blue eyes, they looked almost grey in the dark but in the sun they shone a brilliant blue, sometimes they even looked gold–

Wait, when did Merlin get here? 

“Leon?” that was Arthur's voice, Leon swore under his breath as he saw the concern and suspicion in Arthur’s eyes. 

“Merlin’s mistaken, I went to Gaius before coming to you.” Did Leon mention how much he hated lying to Merlin? Well, he really hated lying about Merlin. 

Merlin scoffed, “really? Because I remember trying to make you see Gaius until you refused and walked away. And even if you did try to go see him after that, Gaius left to go help someone in the lower town who broke her leg, so there was no way he could’ve helped you.” 

Well, shit. 

Leon struggled to get words out to defend himself but his voice failed him. “Oh, well, I… uh’ Leon wished he could’ve just died on that patrol to save himself the embarrassment of getting caught in a lie by Merlin and his King. “I’m not injured?” 

Real smooth, Leon, they'll definitely let you get away now. 

Merlin pinched his temple and sighed, “Leon, you're covered in blood, not to mention you've been limping since you got here.” Merlin walked over to Leon and put a hand on his arm–his scarred arm–  “At least let me get you cleaned up and make sure you haven't seriously hurt yourself.” 

He really wanted to say no, to run away again and deal with it all himself, but he could not bring himself to refuse Merlin. “Can we go to my chambers?” Leon, for some reason, blushed at the thought of inviting Merlin into his chambers, but Merlin only smiled,

“Of course.” 

Arthur murmured a few words to Merlin before they left, Leon knew they were talking about him but chose to block them out. 

Leon led the way to his chambers, trying to ignore Merlin's hand, which was still on his arm. Merlin was untouched by scars, despite all the times they've been attacked on patrol he always seemed to be perfectly fine. He looked like an angel compared to Leon's scarred figure. 

Merlin was the only one who didn't look scared of his scars, the only one who didn’t look at him any differently, even when looking at his burned face. 

Once they had gotten to his chambers Merlin turned to Leon after closing the door behind them. Leon flushed as Merlin walked over to him, “uh…”

“I need to take off your armor,” Merlin smirked like he knew what he was doing to Leon, “If that's okay with you, of course.” 

He probably did. 

One part of Leon wanted to say yes, to let Merlin undress him, another part, was disgusted he wanted Merlin to undress him, why would he want another man to see him half naked? The other part was scared of Merlin's reaction to him possibly being connected to magic. 

“Y– that's…” he paused, “fine.” Why did he say yes?! Merlin would find out he was a freak!

Merlin smiled that same intoxicating smile, “Good because I needed to do it anyway.” 

He was so screwed. 

Merlin took off his armor with the skill of someone who had done it for years, probably because he had spent the last few years dressing and undressing King Arthur. 

For some reason, Leon felt his chest ache at the thought. 

Leon was left only in his gambeson and chausses, the blood that had covered his armor had soaked through to his underclothing, making it impossible to see where he had been originally stabbed, if it weren't for the tear in the fabric of his gambeson where the sword had stabbed through. 

“Leon, you said you weren't hurt!” Leon winced at the words from Merlin he had already predicted. Leon opened his mouth to defend himself but Merlin cut him off,  “Don’t even try to say anything, I’m checking you over and I’m healing your wounds. Physician’s orders.” 

Leon would have mentioned that Merlin wasn't the physician, Gaius was, but Merlin's eyebrow raise shut him up. 

Merlin suddenly turned around, walked back toward the door, and opened it. For a second, Leon thought he was leaving him until he realized that wouldn’t make sense. 

Instead, Merlin stuck his head out the door and flagged down the first servant he saw, “Can you bring a bathing tub for Sir Leon? Thank you.”

He closed the door and walked back over to Leon after the servant nodded and scurried away. “You didn't need to do that.” 

He could’ve called a servant himself and asked for his own bathing tub, but it did feel a little nice to know Merlin cared so much. 

“You’re in desperate need of a bath, you’re covered in blood, and no offense but you smell like you’ve run across the whole kingdom and back.” 

Ouch. he knew it was true, but ouch. 

Leon chuckled then groaned miserably. He hated to admit it, but a nice hot bath did sound good right about now. 

Until he remembered that Merlin would most likely want to help him bathe.

There was a moment of silence before Merlin sighed, as if reading his thoughts, “I’ll let you bathe on your own if it makes you uncomfortable but I’ll still need to check you over for wounds first.” 

Well no avoiding that. 

“I’m capable of checking myself over, thank you.” 

“No, you’re not.” 

He tried.

Luckily, Merlin only took his gambeson off, leaving on his lower clothing. The blood had made the material stick to his skin, making him cringe as Merlin pulled it off. 

He didn’t even notice Merlin leading him over to the edge of his bed until he tapped him on the shoulder to tell him to sit down. 

Once he sat down he almost stood right back up as Merlin kneeled down in front of him. Then he realized he was only doing that to get a better look at his scarred skin. 

Still, warn a guy first. 

He avoided looking at Merlin as he started to check over his skin for any open wounds, his fingers skimming gently over his old scars until landing on the most recent one, the scar from the sword that had killed him, right in the center of his chest. The scar was practically fully healed but it was raised, indicating how deep it had been. 

Merlin had at some point gotten a wet rag and gently rubbed away the dried blood from the area, it was surprisingly soft against his skin, he must have remembered how sensitive his burned skin was.  “When did this happen?”

He pushed down the growing buzz throughout his body, “It was a few moons ago, it’s already healed and treated.” 

Merlin hummed and glanced up at Leon before looking back to his chest, “Is that so? I don't remember you ever going to go see Gaius.”

Damnit. 

How had he forgotten that Merlin lived with Gaius? 

“I–“ he hesitated, how much was he going to lie to Merlin? “You weren’t there, you must have been doing some task for Arthur, you’re always running off doing something for him.” 

A lot apparently. 

In his defense, it was a believable lie, Merlin was always with Arthur. 

Never with him. 

But why did he care? 

Luckily, Merlin didn’t say anything the rest of the time he was checking over Leon, but he felt his eyes glancing up every few moments. 

Once he was satisfied he backed away, as if on cue a knock sounded at the door, “I have the bathing tub for Sir Leon!” 

Merlin glanced at the bloody armor and gambeson on the floor and sighed, then called out, “Leave it outside the chambers, I’ll get it.” When Leon looked at him in confusion he continued softly to only him, with a soft grin, “I don’t think others need to see the bloody mess that is you.” 

It was true, he didn’t want any more questions from anyone. 

But of course, he still chuckled along with Merlin even when they both knew it wasn’t really a joke. 

There were a few awkward moments when Merlin went to get the tub, leaving Leon on the bed. He grimaced as he looked at the grim that had gotten on the covers, he’d have to get it all cleaned, maybe even replaced.

Merlin carried in the tub then quickly after the buckets of hot water, he was surprisingly strong, Leon noted, for seeming to have no amount of muscle mass, at least none that Leon could see from his ill-fitted clothes. 

An image of Merlin shirtless appeared in his mind, would he be skinny, or would he have lean muscles from all the work he does? Would he have a lot of muscle?

Better question, why was he thinking about that? 

Leon’s face turned as red as his Camelot cloak as he tried and failed to take the images out of his mind. 

He hated to admit It but it did make sense for Merlin to have some amount of muscles, he had done years of service for Arthur, it would be weird if he didn’t have any. 

It didn't help when he glanced over to Merlin and saw him with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, pouring water into the tub. 

Unfortunately for Leon’s confused brain, Merlin did, in fact, have some muscle. Of course, not much could be seen from only his forearms, but lean muscle peaked out through the arms of his tunic, straining as he lifted the buckets.

He didn't even notice his eyes trailing after Merlin's arm movements until he had finished filling the tub and turned towards him. “Leon, the bath is ready.” 

“Oh—yes,” he cursed and cleared his throat. Why was he so distracted?  “Of course.” 

He hurriedly stood up, which was a mistake because his vision blurred almost immediately. He would have fallen if Merlin hadn't steadied him by his shoulders, “Woah, easy, Not too quick.” 

Despite being skinnier and shorter than Leon, he was able to keep him completely steady. He'd seen the boy struggle to lift a mace a fortnight ago, yet he was fully able to keep him upright without a struggle? 

He pushed away those thoughts when he realized that Merlin's hands were still on his shoulders. 

“I'm fine,” he shrugged off Merlin’s lingering fingers and walked past him towards the tub, ignoring Merlin's eyes trailing behind him. 

He heard Merlin clear his throat, “I'll be going then, call me in after your bath, if you want.” 

Leon didn't turn around as he heard Merlin walk away and open the door and walk out his chambers. 

Why did he want to call him back in? 

Chapter Text

Leon cleaned up quickly, not wanting to stare at his own body for long. He had broken and thrown out all the mirrors in his room years ago when he first recovered from the dragon attack because he no longer wanted to stare at the scars covering his body. 

He remembered when he had first seen the scars; it was nearly a moon after the dragon attack had happened. Because of the burns, Merlin and Gaius had to wrap almost his whole body in bandages. 

When they had finally unwrapped the bandages, the first thing he asked was to see himself. 

He thought it couldn't have been that bad. 

Merlin's expression told him that his thoughts were wrong. 

It was terrible. 

Worse than he thought it would be. 

He could only stare in silence at the mirror being held up for him by Merlin through his only remaining eye. 

Burns practically covered the whole left side of his face; the hair had been charred, but most of the burned hair had been noticeably cut off, leaving his hair disheveled and uneven. He looked down at his body; burns covered the left side of his chest and arms. 

“It could've been worse. You moved out of the way right before Ki-the dragon, hit you; flames only hit your left side,” Merlin had told him after Leon hadn’t spoken. 

Leon wanted to scream. This wasn't worse? Living with these scars wasn't worse? Death would've been peace; at least then, he wouldn't need to live like this. 

But he said nothing; Merlin didn't deserve to be yelled at; it wasn't his fault. 

It was Leon's fault for moving out of the way of the flames. 

He should've let the flames hit him.

Leon didn't realize how long he had been standing by the side of the tub; he had been so caught up staring at himself that he didn't notice the time passing. 

The water was probably cold by now, but he knew he had to clean up. He begrudgingly peeled off his chausses and boots, wincing as the mud and blood tugged at his skin. 

He hesitantly dipped his foot into the water, but to his surprise, the water was perfectly warm, like it had only been cooling for a few moments.

By now, the water should have been chillingly cold, but as he slowly settled down into the tub, it stayed pleasantly warm. Maybe he had only been caught up in his head for a short time.

Shaking his head, Leon sighed with satisfaction as he finally got his full body into the water, his original thoughts forgotten in the bliss of the warmth enveloping him. 

Leon stayed lying in the tub, letting his burns relax in the water. Once his body seemed relaxed enough, he reached for a cloth and soap to wash himself. 

When he had first gotten the burns, he had had trouble properly washing himself; any movement would pull at the scars, and washing them had to be done lightly, lest he reopen them. 

Even now, he had to be careful around the charred skin. He had refused any help from Merlin and any other servant who had offered to help him, and now doing almost all his chores himself.

He couldn’t be seen as weak.

He shouldn’t be seen at all. 

Leon cleaned up quickly, scrubbing his skin until he was clean of any grime. 

The water turned a red-brown; he’d probably need to have another bath to be fully clean. But he could worry about that later. 

He pulled himself out of the dirty water and grabbed his towel to dry off. 

Fortunately, he didn't take long to get dressed. His clothes felt heavy and itchy against his skin, but he hadn't slept without a shirt since the dragon attack. 

It was still midday; when had he arrived in Camelot? 

He couldn't go to sleep now; there was still work he surely had to do. Even if he did want to sleep, his bed was still covered in grime. 

He gingerly bent down to pick up his discarded armor and underclothes off the floor; his muscles were still tense even after the warm bath.

Speaking of the bath, he’d have to dump it out and clean it himself. He couldn't make a servant do it for him. He’d also have to take it out without anyone noticing and trying to question the state of the water. 

It would be easier to do it during the later hours when the lords and servants went to their chambers. He knew the routes to avoid the guards, and even if they spotted him, most of the guards wouldn't question the first knight of Camelot. 

The main problem would be trying to avoid Merlin. He knew Merlin roamed the halls of the castle at night for whatever reason. On a few night patrols, he had seen the man sneaking past the guards with ease. He didn't know why Merlin did it, but he trusted it wasn't for a malicious reason. It was Merlin, after all. What could he possibly do? 

Leon shook his head, clearing his thoughts; he could worry about that later. 

Once he had cleaned up as best as he could, he turned over to his desk, a stack of papers piled over the wooden table. 

Ah, finally something to do. 

He could still be useful. 

There were fewer papers to go through than he had hoped, so he was done by the time the sun began to set. 

He sighed and rubbed his temple; there weren't enough documents to go over as he had wished. 

Maybe he should go over them again.

Maybe he did something wrong. 

He picked up the stack of papers again and started to reread them.

To his disappointment, there wasn't anything wrong with them, not even a spelling mistake. 

Surely that was wrong. 

He lost count of how many times he reread the papers. 

The sun had fully set now, and his chambers were covered in darkness. The only light being the moon and stars. 

How long had it been? 

Leon stood up, stray papers blowing up from the movement; some fell to the floor. 

He looked around; there weren't any candles in his room.

He threw them out, he remembered. 

It was just after he had recovered enough to go back to his chambers after the dragon attack. 

Merlin had lit a candle. 

Leon had stared at the small flame for a few moments.

It was small, harmless; it couldn’t hurt anyone. 

It couldn't hurt him. 

Merlin had told him it wouldn’t hurt him. 

Leon's eye didn't drop from the candle, even long after Merlin had left him alone. 

Would it hurt the same as dragon fire?

Merlin said that he probably wouldn't be able to feel much pain on his burned skin after it had healed. 

But he still had his unburnt side intact. 

He reached out his good hand towards the candle; the flame was too small to do any serious damage, but he still felt the fire heat up his hand until it started to sting the most perfect pain.

It didn't hurt anywhere near as much as the dragon fire had, but it made him feel something. 

Unlike the dragon fire, he could do it himself; he could control it. 

He pulled his hand back as he smelled the scent of skin burning, a smell he had grown used to.

The section of his hand was red and angry, blisters forming above it. 

His other hand squeezed down on the burn, digging his nails, which had grown longer over the months of healing, into the burning flesh.

He tore up the skin, tearing away the already damaged tissue. 

He smiled as blood dripped from his hand.

Then, he blinked once, then twice.

What was he doing? 

Leon shook his hand, trying to dislodge the memory from his brain. 

It had been a while since then; he couldn’t remember why or when he stopped doing it.

It was probably because of Merlin. 

It was always for Merlin. 

Leon looked around after a moment. What had he gotten up for? 

His eye then caught sight of the water tub, he needed to get rid of that. 

Fortunately, his knight training had paid off, leaving the heavy tub easy to carry. 

It was when he left his chambers that he realized the problem of where he would put the water. He could just dump it where all the other water was put, but that was at the far end of the castle.

He sighed, realizing now this wouldn’t be as easy as he had hoped; he was sure to run into a few guards now, but hopefully, Merlin wasn’t doing any walks around the castle tonight. 

Thankfully, he had made the whole way without being spotted. They really had to fix their security, but for now, he was thankful for not being seen. 

The spot where they disposed of their dirty water was nothing more than a hole in the wall that led down somewhere. 

Where? He didn't know, but honestly, he didn’t want to know. 

He huffed and turned around, ready to return to his chambers, but was stopped by familiar narrowed blue eyes. 

Merlin stood before him, his arms crossed as he lifted a brow. Leon would be happy to see him if it weren’t for his disappointed face.

“Merlin.”

“Leon.”

“Are you going to tell me what you’re doing, or do I have to ask?” Merlin questioned after Leon said nothing.

Leon shuffled his feet, avoiding Merlin’s sharp gaze. “I was just dumping out the water from my bath.”

Merlin hummed, clearly not impressed, “You could have told me to do it; you should be resting.” 

Merlin had done so much for him, and yet he still tried to do more. 

He hesitated for a moment before clearing his throat. “I didn't want to bother you.” He had bothered Merlin enough over the years; he couldn't do it any longer. Merlin was surely tired of him by now. 

“You could never bother me.”

Wait, what?

Leon stayed quiet, still not meeting Merlin’s gaze, which had softened. 

Merlin was lying; he had to be. Why would he care about Leon? He was just doing his duty as a physician assistant.

It was all just an act. 

“Go back to your chambers and get some rest, Leon.” Merlin's voice knocked Leon out of his thoughts. 

Leon opened his mouth to argue but closed it as Merlin narrowed his eyes again, leaving no room for argument. Merlin then stepped aside, allowing Leon to walk past him.

Leon walked past him, silence following him, but he heard Merlin trailing behind him the whole way, making sure he went to his chambers. When he turned around after getting to his door, there was no one but a flash of something moving away in the corner of his eye. 

He didn't sleep the rest of the night.