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Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Dear Juno,

 I'm most pleased to receive correspondence from you, it feels like it had been far too long. I know you had said the last time you left Orlais with your parents that you'd be traveling for some time, and writing may be hard, but I never anticipated you'd wind up in Antiva, let alone staying with the notorious crows.

Do they all live in one estate? Admittedly, I don't know the same tales of the crows that you do, just what mother has spoken of times long past. Are you safe there? Are you surrounded by assassins? Are they kind to you?

It may earn the ire of your father, but if you need Mother and I to rescue you, you need only say the world and we will cross the border to Tevinter to bring you home.

Orlais is quite quiet now, I would argue much safer a place than anywhere near the Tevinter Imperium. The disbanding of the Inquisition seems to have quelled the worries of the Chantry, though I imagine Divine Victoria would've much preferred to keep that power under her rule for at least a bit longer. It seems the Inquisitor had "bigger fish to fry", the last I heard, they were traveling as well. It's strange how all the biggest heroes always seem to vanish after saving the entire continent. Perhaps it's a lesson in being humble?

I digress, that is all to say: you haven't missed much in Southern Thedas. I don't think mother will want to stay in Orlais much longer either, to be honest. She's always been keen on wrapping up "loose ends" and moving forward in the pursuit of more interesting endeavors, likely dangerous ones.

No telling what that means for my health in the future...

I don't suppose there's room for more in the crow's nest? Somehow trained assassins seems less intimidating that whatever trouble my mother can conjure up.

I eagerly await your next correspondence.

PS: I shall have a selection of nuts and dried meats for your carrier bird next time. Seems he likes to scream until he receives what he wants.

Yours,
'Ran.

It had taken some time to receive a letter back from Ran, at least two weeks. It's hard living in an echo chamber, though I suppose it was more like being in the Orlesian Courts like Ran has-- You do not speak out against the authority. Hell, you don't speak if he's speaking. Period.

 When every time you open your mouth, you are met with the greatest scrutiny-- it's hard to speak at all. 'Yes Sir' has become the most common phrase in my vocabulary. I'd need time to even think of a reply to my friend, every day for the last two weeks has been filled with trials and tests to see where the most important instruction must occur.

 The answer, is apparently, basically every aspect of myself need instruction desperately. I am a most helpless would-be assassin who 'does not even know how to use her feminine wiles properly'. I suppose I had always known that seduction was an important piece of being a crow, Papa had told tales of men using poison on their lips to kill women, but I suppose I did not fully grasp just how much Crows were expected to engage rather than just living in the shadows.

 Apparently, more so the women than the men, because I have never once seen a "seduction master" teaching Viago.

Speaking of Viago, he's been most apologetic since that duel. Apparently, the dose of poison he gave me should've only affected me for a few hours at most-- It kept me in bed for two days, almost paralyzed, in fact. I like to hang that above his head, when I get the chance, just to see the look on his face. Viago wears his heart on his sleeve and emotions on his face when his guard is down, he's going to regret giving me an opportunity to notice that.

 "Miss Juno? Your next instructor has arrived." An attendant calls from outside my bedroom door. With a weary sigh, I rise from my vanity, placing Ran's letter down to return to later. I give a polite nod to the attendant as she walks me out to the gardens, where my instructor waits at the gazebo at the head of the event space. This area seems mostly unused, which makes sense since Matteo De Riva did not seem the type to host parties, but it was quite breathtaking, regardless.

 A large tiled dancefloor in the center, tables in the grass to the sides, each edge of the space lined with beautiful flowered hedges. Verandas covered in Ivy offering secret rendezvous points, a raised stage to the far right for a band, soft orange and yellow lights to fill the space with a romantic glow. Every space in Antiva, especially Treviso I've learned, can be quite romantic with the right lighting. Though, I imagine if you grew up here, perhaps the long winding canals and energetic marketplace aren't quite the enigma they are to outsiders.

 "Miss Juno, I'd like to introduce you to Andarateia Cantori, of the Seventh Talon Household." The attendant makes sure I step up to the gazebo before dismissing herself, leaving me with the very stunning, very young, master of seduction I was told would be coming to train me.

 I was not anticipating her to be around my age.

 "A pleasure to finally meet you, Juno, I've heard much about you." Andarateia sticks out a gloved hand, offering one of the most genuine smiles I had seen from any of the Crows since I moved in. "You can call me Teia."

 It was just nice to be called something besides 'Little Bird' for once. That name had been haunting me for two weeks.

 "Quite a pleasure, Teia," I release her hand and she gestures over to a table in the center of the gazebo, where we both take a seat. "I'll be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect when they told me I'd be getting lessons in seduction, but I certainly wasn't expecting someone my age."

 She raises a brow at me, pouring some tea from an odd looking kettle, "Would you preferred to talk sex and seduction with someone three times your age?"

 "--Absolutely not. No." She laughs at my quick response, and I raise the cup she has just poured to my face. "What I meant to say was; Thank you."

 She laughs to herself as I take a sniff of the drink in the cup in front of me. Everything had to be smelled now-- they had already started micro dosing poisons into me both with and without my consent. Blah blah, build immunity, blah blah.

 And this was NOT tea. How very strange. It smelled both good and also somehow horrible? Like warmth but also maybe like something that should not be warm.

 "Gods," I choke, placing the cup back down and pinching my sensitive nose to try and make the smell dissipate from my senses. "What is this?"

 "You've never had coffee?" She takes a sip of her own cup, a relaxed smile falling on her face as her eyes flutter shut for a moment.

 Wow, she has long eyelashes.

 "Is it supposed to smell like that?" I stare back down at the cup, wondering if she had truly poured us the same drink, considering the look on her face.

 "Not everyone drinks it straight," She sits up a bit, leaning forward to reach across the table and spoon what appears to be sugar into the cup. As she places a hand on the table to reach a small container of cream, I notice her nails have been colored a lovely deep shade of blue. Nail lacquer certainly existed, but I had never spent money purchasing it. Looking closer at her, I actually noticed she took the time to put on rouge and eye products as well. Every part of her image appeared carefully crafted, and quite stunningly so. Teia was a beautiful woman. "Try it now," she waves a hand at the cup, leaning back into her seat and watching me expectantly.

 I look down at the cup, now a more tan in color, more like breakfast tea with cream. The smell was less apparent as I brought the cup to my lips, still warm, but without that invasive scent of agony. I wasn't expecting the noise that came from my throat as I managed to swallow, but it appears I was able to illicit another laugh from the seduction master across from me.

 "Much better. I couldn't smell it at first, but there's almost something... sweet about the scent? Like it was masked before."

 "Hazelnut," She nods, "I do not take my coffee without it. It makes it significantly less bitter."

 Bitter! Yes, that's the word for the invasive agony scent.

 "This is lovely, thank you."

 "To business then?" She asks and I give a disarmed shrug. There was no getting around it, I suppose. She places her cup down, leaning forward with her elbows on the table, interlocking her fingers. "Unlike you, Juno, I was raised by Crows. As... unsettling as it can be to have to rely on your body, your looks, or your charm to complete a contract, often, it can be the only thing that saves you from a dagger in your heart." Teia rests her chin on her hands, a much more serious look on her face than she had been carrying this entire time. "There is no expectation for you to rely solely on your prowess rather than your skills with your weapons, but information and infiltration is just as important as being able to take down a target. Sometimes, it takes one to get to the other."

 I give a solemn nod. She wasn't wrong, you could go into a contract completely blind, that was one of the first things I learned in training these past two weeks. Sometimes, to find a target, you have to learn about the target, and sometimes that took getting closer to those in their inner circle or personal lives, by whatever means necessary.

 It's not like I doubt that seduction is important, I am simply just stunned that it's being taught to a sixteen year old. I may be, by this nation's standard, old enough to marry-- but I do not claim by any means to yet be an adult. It has felt an odd thing to insist be taught to someone the same age as your children. But, you know, you don't speak out against the Talon so. Seduction 101 it is.

 "I will not teach you anything you are not comfortable learning," She speaks again, noticing my elongated silence. "But from what I hear, you already carry some skills that would be easy to... elevate your charm." Her brown eyes bore into me, and she tilts her head just a little, expecting me to catch on to something unsaid.

 What skills did I possess that anyone here could know about? Magic? Perhaps she was referring to...

 "Dancing?" I respond, unable to hide the surprise in my reaction.

 Her smile is absolutely captivating as she holds my gaze, "Precisely, body language is the biggest trick to seducing anyone. As simple as a brush of the arm, the tuck of hair behind your ear, or perhaps," Teia drags her eyes down for only a moment before her eyes meet mine again, "Holding your gaze with intention."

 Gods, she was doing this on purpose? I'm practically sweating in my leathers under that intense look.

 "Point taken," I respond, watching as she shifts back to a neutral smile. "I haven't been the best at disguising my true feelings, admittedly, but that's not to say I couldn't learn."

 "With your looks, Juno-- You wont have to learn much at all," She raises her cup and drags her eyes over my figure. "I'm sure you well know, but there are few men in Antiva, hell, all of The Tevinter Imperium, even all of Northern Thedas-- who can resist the looks of an Elf. Let alone one who clearly did not grow up in the North." She takes a sharp breath as her eyes catch on my hair.

 "That obvious?" I ask.

 "You may sound a bit like you grew up in Antiva," She stands up now, crossing the table to inspect me. "But you have fairer skin, almost like lightly browned butter, and your eyes and hair are far too bright to be Antivan. You look more like you hail from Ferelden than anywhere in the North." She leans her hands down on the arms of my chair, bringing he face down close to mine. "It will do you well," She enunciates each word, her curly hair nearly brushing my cheeks as she leans down. "Everyone loves foreign delicacies. Especially the rich bastards we're hired to kill."

 "Yes, I've heard that a few times," I bring my eyes up to hers, she seems to be inspecting my face. She looks over my lips, my eyes, my cheeks.

 "Purple is your color," She states, standing up to round the table once more. She retrieves a bag from the space beneath her chairs, pulling a few small trinkets and brushes out. She picks her chair up and brings it closer to mine, sitting back down and leaning forward once more. "Let me show you how easy this is, yes?" Teia reaches for a small brush, opening a small silver box to reveal an array of eye cosmetics. She swipes her brush into a lavender colored pigment before turning to me expectantly. "Close your eyes, give me just a moment, and hold deadly still."

 I comply, giving her access to my face. Makeup was fairly foreign to me, I admit to letting Ran's mother occasionally try to put a lipstick on me, something about needing to 'embrace being a woman', but Mama usually wiped it off before too long. 'Women have no need for makeup' she'd argue. Pretty rich coming from the woman who always seemed to cover Papa in her own lipstick.

 There's a bigger brush that dances across my cheeks, and then a smaller thinner brush, this one with a sort of creamy substance that brushes over my lids. Finally, the familiar sensation of a lip color being place on my top lip, and simply a line down the center of my bottom lip.

 "Open your eyes," Teia commands, appraising her work as she comes back into my vision. "Purple certainly makes the green of your eyes stand out. How lovely," She compliments, retrieving a small hand mirror off the table to hand to me.

 "Oh," I say, catching sight of myself. Teia did more than I thought, there were at least three shades of purples around my eyes, and a deep purple eyeliner below my eyes. The rouge used on my cheeks was almost cool toned, but matched my complexion quite well. Finally, my lips were a more subtle purple, almost a mauve/grey mixture, like a waxy plum. "Why just a line on the bottom lip?" I ask, tilting my head to see more of my face.

 "More elfy," She responds with a shrug. "Or at least, it looks more elfy to me." She taps her chin thoughtfully before reaching back into her bag. "One more thing, give me your hands." I watch as she uncaps a small bottle, bringing a small brush into the liquid to my nails. Ah. This was the nail lacquer. It was lovely, also a deep purple, but with some sort of pearlized affect that had it shifting colors in the light. "This is your color now, no one else may have it." She smiles as she moves over each nail quickly.

 "What exactly does that mean?" I chuckle, finding myself rather enjoying 'embracing being a woman' this time around.

 "It means that everyone who meets you from here on out, will look at this color and think only of you." She recaps the lacquer as the finishes painting. "And it means that you may hold your head confidently high knowing that you look absolutely captivating whenever you wear this color." She taps the table right in front of my finger, "This shade of the color, especially. Like wild storms, like lightning, like raven feathers caught in the sunlight; an ethereal purple that glows like magic. This is your color, Juno. Wear it with pride."

 Our attention is drawn to the opposite side of the courtyard where the foyer doors open to the outside, Viago leading two strangers into the gardens. His eyes seem to meet Teia's across the yard, and he turns to his guests, saying something quietly before turning back to approach the gazebo. "Andarateia," He practically purrs. "How lovely to see you again."

 Oh. That's why he's here. Giving me more ammunition by the minute.

 "Always a pleasure, Viago." She eyes over the other two gentlemen before her eyes widen and she gives a small bow with a hand on her heart. "Illario, Lucanis, this is most unexpected. Greetings to the house of the First Talon."

 Lucanis? I had heard that name before...

 Right, Javier said that Lucanis was the only one to ever truly get the upper hand on Viago. That he was 'in a league of his own'.

 "The First Talon had some business with my father," Viago starts up the steps to the gazebo to meet us, nearly halting in his tracks as his eyes meet mine. "--Juno." His eyes flicker over my face, inspecting Teia's work. I couldn't tell if he was appalled or impressed, honestly. "I-- You.." He swallows, turning his attention back to Teia. "Your work?"

 Teia gives a satisfied smile, "She didn't need much, she's quite the lovely elf, actually."

 I could almost hear the snapping of the neck of one of our guests as he turned his attention right over to me. He was the leaner of the two gentlemen, probably also around my age, maybe a year or two older. His hair was chopped rather short, longer on top than on the sides, and blended well with his beautifully tan skin. It had very clearly been swept back with some sort of hair wax, but overall there was nothing incredibly remarkable about him. Handsome, but not in the same captivating way someone like Viago was, with defined features and eyes that see into your soul.

 "So this is the little bird I've heard so much about," He finishes hurrying up the steps to meet me, and I rise from my chair to meet him. If nothing else, he had quite lovely teeth, pretty and pearly. "Illario Dellamorte." He introduces himself, holding a hand out to me, but rather than shaking mine when we meet, he brings my knuckles up to place a soft kiss atop them.

 I must've not been able to hide my alarmed feelings well, because I felt a small kick on my leg from Teia behind me. I swallow back my fear and bring my hand up to brush some hair from my face, tucking it behind my ear.

 See? I learn things.

 "My name is Juno," I can see that Illario's eyes catch on my ears, my golden jewelry swaying as my hair is brushed over it. "Quite lovely to meet you, Illario." I pull my eyes from him, uncomfortable with how fixated he is on my ears, and bring my attention over to the second stranger. "Hello."

 Now this man. He was striking.

 I can't quite put my finger on exactly what it was about him. Whether it was the way the he carried himself with such confidence, or the fact that it felt like all my breath left my lungs when he looked at me, I was unsure. Perhaps it was the way his eyes reminded me of the warmth of the coffee I had drank earlier, or the prominence of his cuspids as he smiled, or how clearly amused by Illario's forward nature he was. Perhaps it was his longer hair, swept back in a manner that looked much like waves frozen in time.

 Whatever it was, maybe everything, I nearly lost the feeling in my knees. He was handsome in ways Viago would never be.

 "Perhaps we give our fledging some space, Illario?"

 Oh gods, even his voice was as smooth as velvet.

 I prayed to whatever entity would listen that this man couldn't hear my very audible gulp as he climbed the stairs to stop beside Illario, patting his shoulder.

 "She seems to be getting lessons from Teia, I don't think she's quite ready for your..." He narrows his eyes as he searches for the words, "Eager prowess, just yet." His eyes catch on mine, and he seems just as surprised as Viago, but quickly lets the surprise fade from his face as he dips his head towards me. "Lucanis Dellamorte. You'll have to forgive my cousin, he is a connoisseur of all things shiny and beautiful, and it appears you may have to run far to not wind up a part of his.... collection." He chuckles as his cousin elbows him in the side, but he is unphased as he smiles at me. He was not incredibly taller than me, but something about how he looked down at me sent my heart racing.

 "That is quite alright," My body works on its own, bringing a polite smile to my lips and bringing my lids halfway down my eyes under his gaze. "I could always use some practice, I have only just started learning seduction tactics from Teia today." I wrap my arms behind my body, clasping my hands behind my back and straightening out my posture. "I'm quite sure Viago would prefer I not practice on him, though admittedly he still does owe me quite a debt."

 I turn my gaze over to Viago, who gives me a warning glance as I feel my teeth poke out from my lips as I grin.

 "Viago poisoned me in combat all but two weeks ago, before I even started training--"

 "YOU started that fight," Viago interjects, his hand clenching at his side so he doesn't wag a finger in my face. "And might I remind you, you were using magic." The last words is almost a hushed hiss, he's not truly angry, that much I can see, but he clearly doesn't want to look bad in front of Teia.

 "What's a few sparks between friends?" I shrug, causing Viago to roll his eyes.

 "A mage?" Lucanis brings his gaze between Viago and I, "It's been a while since we've inducted a mage."

 "You are certainly becoming more interesting by the moment," Illario adds, finally pulled from whatever stupor he was in. "Range fighters aren't typical assassins, but I've heard they can be more stealthy than rogues if they're casting the right spell."

 "She's not a ranged fighter." Viago pinches the bridge of his nose, "Actually, no. I'm going to stop talking before I implicate myself any further."

 "Even I've heard word of your skills, Juno," Teia seems to enjoy the flush coming to Viago's cheeks. "Though, I'm unsure how to further instruct you without seeing you work. Perhaps a demonstration is in order?"

 Viago holds up his hands, "Absolutely not-- I am not-- No!"

 "Aww, I didn't mean to fluster you, Viago. My deepest apologies," From the outside looking in, Teia and I probably were grinning like mad men as we watched Viago's wide range of emotions on flagrant display. "It appears I have no willing sparring partner, Teia, I'm afraid I cannot showcase the mage blade for you today."

 "Mage blade?" Lucanis raises an eyebrow, "I haven't heard of this. Enchanted weapons?"

 "Something more," I answer, dragging my fingers over my hip, where a brand new holster for my blade resides, a gift alongside my training uniform from Matteo. Lucanis' gaze shifts down to my thigh before dragging back up to my eyes. "More like a conduit for magic than something magic simply resides in. Perhaps, would you like to spar with me and see for yourself, Lucanis?"

 Illario thumps the back of his hand into his cousin's chest, "Yes, perhaps you should be the one to spar with the little bird, Lucanis." He makes it sound like a joke, and judging by the paling of Viago's face, he seems to think this is a terrible idea.

 "Lucanis, I don't thin--"

 Lucanis holds a hand up to Viago without pulling his gaze from me. "Just for demonstration purposes, yes? Then I will refrain from being too... rough."

 Who was taking seduction classes again? Are we sure it wasn't him?

 "By all means, be as rough as you'd like," I take a step towards him, still holding his gaze as I lean in. "I'm sure its nothing I can't handle," His jaw tightens, flexing the muscle in the most delicious way. "I have been poisoned with zero warning, after all." I throw over my shoulder and watch as Viago throws his hands up before turning to take a seat at the table.

 "By all means, Juno, fight the future First Talon, but once he kicks your sorry ass, I expect you to let go of the poison." He crosses his arms, mumbling something about how every crow needs to build up immunity anyways. Teia covers her mouth with her hand to hide a laugh.

 "You're so kind for your concern, Viago." I breeze past Lucanis and descend the stairs to the dancefloor. "Will here work just fine?"

 "Don't damage the dancefloor!" Viago warns, and I close my eyes for a moment to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

 "Obviously, Viago," I roll my shoulders and stretch out my legs, "The only thing I damage is pride, apparently." He just makes it too fucking easy, and the reaction is always priceless. It's honestly a wonder Viago hasn't killed me in my sleep yet.

 "Any warnings for me, Viago?" Lucanis jokes, his sleek black hair jostling as he turns his head back while descending the stairs.

 "Now now, Lucanis," Teia interjects, "I just finished explaining to Juno about how not every job has intel right away, you need to earn it."

 Lucanis scoffs, shaking his head with a smile, "Alright, going in blind. That's fine."

 "Viago didn't think so." I joke.

 "I'd prefer to make judgements for myself, Viago and I have much different skills." He carefully unbuttons a cape, tossing it to the stairs and begins rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt halfway up his arms. "I don't poison on the first date."

 "This house is fucking prison." Viago grumbles.

 Lucanis chuckles to himself, flexing against his rolled up sleeves and unfastening the covers to his knife holsters. For a moment, I think he may be doing exactly as Viago did and allowing me the first move, but just as he readies himself-- he disappears.

 Oh, this is a rogue.

 I'm quick to pull my blade from it's holster, dragging my hand down the hilt to summon the matching orb. The silence that falls over the courtyard is palpable, but his footsteps aren't entirely silent, his dress boots had silver embellishments, and I hear the slight clinking on the dancefloor behind me.

Elf ears, bitch.

 I bring the orb above my head, bringing forward a storm around me. Lucanis evades a spark, rolling out of the way and pulling himself out of stealth. He's quick to rise back up, knife in hand to clash blades-- though he appears to mostly be inspecting the blade against his.

 "How interesting," His eyes look over to the orb in my hand. "Doesn't seem like much of a conduit." I use my full strength against the blade to make him back off, bringing the orb down to flow with the knife, becoming a one handed weapon in an instant.

 "I'm just getting started, have you no patience?" I make a quick slash, lightning coming out much like a whip from my blade. "Don't tell me you've lost interest already?"

 "On the contrary," Lucanis avoids a few more slashes, I can't keep up with his agility or speed for sure. "This is quite thrilling for me. I hardly get to spar anymore."

 I detach my orb for moment, using it to send out three deliberate chains of lightning towards Lucanis, "In that case, I'm delighted to pleasure you this evening."

 Teia's laugh was audible this time.

 I see Lucanis swipe his tongue across his teeth while grinning, clearly holding back from letting the conversation drift in that direction much further. He disappears from sight again, but I could tell from his stance he was about to leap.

 Time for a lesson in dancing.

 "Don't you know it's rude to drop in on a woman without warning?" I rise onto my toes to clash my blade against his, his stealth fading once again as he engages in combat. He takes a few more slashes as he finds his footing on the ground again.

 Now or never, he's in my space.

 Break his strike. Step into his space. Use your free hand to grab his collar. Lock a leg around his waist, tucking it back around his leg. Pull his collar to you first, and then lean back. Exaggerate contact on his hips, just for fun. His hand rushes to find my waist, quick to stop me from falling-- but I wasn't falling. Pull him closer, lean back more, feel his breath on your neck. What were we doing again? Right.

 Plant the other foot, use the force and position to push his body up, twisting it over your planted leg. Lucanis? Meet Ground. Ground? Meet Lucanis.

 Or, that was the plan, anyways.

 I, unfortunately, was the one who became acquainted with the ground. Just as I thought I had him, Lucanis managed to wrap his arms around my neck in just a way to be able to leverage his own velocity against me, planting a foot and flipping me over in the process.

 "Maker," Illario jumps a bit at the scene, "Don't kill her, Lucanis!"

 I groan as the breath returns to my lungs, and as I go to push myself up, I feel the telltale sensation of a knife at my throat.

 If this was the death that awaited me, the fade could have me-- I was ready.

 Lucanis was above me, knees locking me in and holding my legs tightly. His arm rests on the ground beside my head, keeping me from turning my head to the left. His hair fell forward, masking his face from everyone but me, and boy what a view I had. His silver dagger had the tip just barely pressed to my throat, only ever having to use one hand to take me down. But the most satisfying part? The most deliciously sinful part?

 His flushed cheeks, his dilated pupils... His bedroom eyes and daring grin.

 "You," He whispers, "are trouble."

 "Actually," I laugh as I let my head rest back on the tile, "I've heard I'm quite thrilling."

 "Another win for Lucanis," Teia rests her hands on her hips, "Though I suppose none of us are really surprised about that."

 "Those moves, though?" Illario whistles, "You sure you even need to teach her, Teia?"

 At the sound of the other's calls, Lucanis removes his knife from my throat, steadying himself before reaching out a hand to help me up. I gratefully take his hand and notice it barely takes him any effort to pull me to my feet.

 Noted.

 "Didn't even need to poison me," I joke. "Impressive."

 "Sorry--" Viago makes a perplexed face, "I know the little bird who just got her feathers pulled isn't still going on about a MINISCULE amount of poison. She couldn't possibly still be on about that after such a humiliating loss!"

 I tip my head back while I laugh, tilting my head over to look at Viago up in the gazebo. "Sorry Viago, I was just informed I'm trouble, I just needed to live up to the name!" I holster my mage blade, snapping the top over the handle. "No more comments on the poison from here on out, on my father's honor!" I raise a hand over my heart, and this seems to quell Viago's taunts for now, his attention turning to Teia up in the gazebo as she pours everyone a cup of coffee.

 "Do you think he actually believes you?" Lucanis unrolls his sleeves as he approaches, his dark eyes practically glowing under the warm orange lights decorating the garden. "Should any of us, for that matter?"

 "He might be quite disappointed to know-- my father has no honor."

 His breathless laugh would echo in my mind for days to come.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~

Chapter Text

My Dear Ran,

 I've had the week from hell, you'll have to excuse me for how much longer it took me to write you this time. Would you believe me if I told you I lost more than a few fights very painfully fast in the past three weeks? I really thought that with both of our mother's teachings under my belt, I'd have been a better mage by now, but I have repeatedly gotten my ass handed to me in combat. By ROGUES, none the less? What is the world coming to?
 

You asked if every Crow lives in the same house... Are you stupid? Do you even know how many Antivan Crows there are? There's like eight Talons, and an army of fucking crows that work for each one.

The only reason I am here and not in some glorified orphanage training ground is because Papa had connections and refused to let me sleep on a wooden cot. The answer is no, they don't all live together and frankly, only the ones who were born into Talon families even really live in the estates.

 Well, most of them, anyways.

 You also inquired whether or not they were kind, which is the only other question I will choose to answer. I've met quite a few up and coming recruits, not yet sworn into the crows, who are perfectly kind. Well, apart from them occasionally poisoning me or pointing a dagger at my throat. All water under the bridge, anyways. One of my instructors has become a master seduction expert and she's not even a full Crow. Even Viago is essentially a poison master. I guess there are particular trials you have to go through to be sworn in, and they have not yet taken those. But, some of these recruits in combat move like lightning, Ran. It's both fascinating and terrifying to watch. And to fight. I have no idea how they have yet to be sworn in.
 

As for those who are sworn in, I am not sure I have enough information to be able to answer that. Leonardo De Riva seems tame, not unkind but certainly full of himself. Arlo De Riva seems a bit obsessed with weapons and combat, to the point where I'm not sure he thinks about much else apart from killing people. The Fifth Talon...
 

All I see in him is darkness, Ran. I've no doubt he clawed his way to the top of the crows to become Fifth Talon. I do not understand how Papa could have this man as a contact. When he heard I fought the First Talon's son (an agreed upon sparring session, might I add), he hit me across the face so hard my chair toppled over with me in it. When I finally was able to stand, he told me not to worry about it bruising, because "purple is my color".

 I think people in this household report my every move to Matteo, because there is not one conversation I have that he does not hear about somehow. Every word I speak must be thought through now, less I risk his fury from my next grand mistake.
 

I am not ready to go yet, Ran, though my heart does warm at the thought of being back with you and your mother in Orlais. I have no idea where it was my parents were headed, but the only place they know to find me is here, and they put me here for a reason. I'm beginning to think Papa knew something about Matteo De Riva that I did not, but I fully intend to find out.
 

As much as I miss you, my friend, I do not think the crow's nest is any safer for you than being with your mother. Hold on for me, and I shall endeavor for you just the same.

With bruised ego and face,

-Juno

 "Maker's breath!"

 "Hello to you to, Viago" I retort, placing my quill down as I finish signing my name at the bottom of the letter.

 "What has happened to your face, Juno?" Viago bounds the room in an instant, pulling my chin to inspect the deep blue and purple spot on my right cheek.

 It's damaged, you fucking idiot.

 No, don't say that. Don't take it out on him.

 "Turns out, I'm terrible with the cosmetics Teia gave me," I chuckle as I rise from the chair at my vanity to cross the room to the window. I pull a small whistle from my pocket, watching as my messenger bird bristles awake in a tree out in the courtyard and finds his way over to perch on my windowsill.

 "That's bullshit," I can practically hear him cross his arms without even looking at me. For someone who claims to be annoyed by my very existence, he sure is acting all protective.

 What would he even do if I said it was Matteo? Yell at him? Start a fight? As if.

 "I shouldn't have fought Lucanis, okay?" I give a shrug as I scatter some nuts on the sill for my bird and begin folding and rolling my letter for him to deliver with the small tube attached to his leg.
 

"Lucanis did this?" Viago once again invades my space just as I finish sending off my messenger bird, "I did not even see him actually hit you, was this when he flipped you? Why was this bruise not there earlier this week?"

 "It wasn't Lucanis!" I snap, holding my hands up to give myself an added barrier between us. "What do you want me to say, Viago? Do you really have to think hard about how this happened?" I shake my head, sure that I was once again, not hiding my emotions very well. "You know damn well I'll suffer even more if I speak out about it. I learned my lesson, I do not put my hands on a Talon's son-- end of story."

 The recognition that flooded his features, then the remorse, the anger, the guilt-- It was all waves that crashed over Viago. It's good to know I'm not the only recruit who sucks at not getting emotional.

We can't all be Adarateia, I suppose. 

"Then I am quite afraid to give you some more bad news, Juno." Viago places a closed fist on his hip as he drags a hand through his hair. "Lucanis and Illario both wrote to me over the week. They are quite curious about you. I expect that they will drop in whenever and however they like."
 

Fear, elation, dread, excitement-- How was I supposed to feel about this?

 Both Illario and Lucanis seemed kind, like good connection to have within the crows not just because of their status, but because they were friends with Viago and Teia, and Viago and Teia were good people.

 Matteo's threat was quite clear; I am not worthy to be around the First Talons in any capacity. How on earth could I justify being seen with them again after such warnings?
 

"I suppose," I take a deep breath, "Do your best to keep them away from me, and I will do my best to make myself scarce." I reach a hand up to my cheek, wincing at the contact. It was only now I felt a small cut across my cheekbone in the center of the bruise, likely where a ring scraped across my skin. "I already know he's watching, that he has people listening... I cannot be around them, Viago."
 

Viago seems frustrated at this answer, but is lost in thought, clearly angry thoughts by the look on his face. "If I know they're coming... If I have enough heads up, I will have Arlo take you out of the estate. Perhaps he can take you to the market, get your mind off of everything." He lets out a frustrated sigh, finally brining his other hand down to rest on his hip as he eyes my bruised skin once more.

"I don't think I can get you out of training, so I can only hope they don't have the audacity to interrupt your lessons once more."

 My laugh breaks the tension in the air, and I pull my dress cape off the bed to reattach to my training uniform, "Something tells me that they absolutely do have the audacity, Illario especially." Once I've made sure that the window is closed, I turn to Viago and a silence settles between us before I raise an eyebrow expectantly. "Well, are we going to the infirmary?"

 Annoyed disbelief this time, classic Viago. "You cannot possibly expect me to dose you with poison when your face looks like that."
 

"So you're okay with secretly micro dosing poison into my food, but a bruised cheek is where you draw the line?" I shake my head and breeze past him, "I have a regimen to keep, Viago, so either you poison me, or I do it myself."
 

"You don't even know how much to inject!" Viago hurries to catch up, matching my pace to the infirmary. "I'm just saying, with a weakened body it will take longer for wounds to heal--"
 

"This weakened body is going to throw you down the fucking stairs if you don't stop fretting over me like--Like you're my father!" It feels weird coming out of my mouth, comparing Viago to a dad, even to MY dad, but I still say it. And I still suffer the awkward silence afterwards.

 Viago seems to be trying to figure out what to do with his hands now that we've both stopped in the hallway to address that comment.
 

"I was not fretting," He starts, trying his best to get a nonchalant look on his face. "As your instructor and teacher in all things poison, I was simply expressing that your body may not even build immunity if it is trying to heal elsewhere."
 

"Sure, dad."
 

"I take it back, let it fucking kill you," Viago storms into the infirmary, throwing open the doors with his usual faux rage.

 I've learned a few more things about Viago since last week. The first is that Viago has loved Andarateia from the very moment the Seventh House took her in. The second is that Viago is actually the illegitimate son of the king of Antiva. The third is that he is one of many illegitimate children of the king, but the only one to choose becoming a Crow rather than facing exile. And finally, I learned that because of this, Viago is very much weak when it comes to forming attachments.

 All that to say, Viago is never truly mad at me. He can call me 'Mierdita' all he wants, I know we're friends. He always seems to get over any teasing pretty quickly.

 "You'd have no fun in this house without me around, Viago," I smirk, taking a seat at the bed located in the back of the room, rolling my sleeve up to prepare. My arm was littered with tiny pin pricks, small yellowing bruises around injection sites and very visible veins after three weeks of venoms and anti venoms. But hey, at least its not making giant fucking bruises on my face, right?

 "I'd have significantly more peace and quiet," He retorts, preparing a syringe whilst looking back at my arm to make sure no injection sites were festering or infected. "And I probably wouldn't worry so god damned much."

 I could continue to tease him, but honestly, the fear is once again bubbling up in my throat. Taking poison is supposed to get easier over time, but that doesn't make it any less scary. Would you trust a 17 year old with your life time and time again? To be able to recognize how much poison is too much poison?

 I'm always sweating before he even injects me, if I can even go without fainting before he even get the needle in. No wonder he's choosing to poison foods every now and then instead, he's trying to keep me conscious.

 "If you start to get woozy, I need you to tip your head back this time," He instructs, cleaning my arm with some antiseptic. "You will have identical bruising on your cheeks if you faceplant the floor again."

 This one isn't like fire in my veins, or the bugs crawling out of my bones or even the one that gave me chills like all my organs had turned to ice.

 This one made the room spin immediately. I had heard the phrase "made the room spin", but I never understood it until now. It's not like you're spinning in a circle, its like the walls are warping into a spiral in front of you. Closing you eyes brings you no relief, instead of spiraling walls you see a constant flickering white light. It's like my heart can't slow down, my eyes can't stop hallucinating and my brain can't keep up with either to function properly.
 

I know Viago is speaking, but its very hard to grasp the words coming out of his mouth.
 

"Juno-- ay back." Every other word, focus. "Lay back!" His arm comes down rough on my shoulder, tipping my torso back and making me fall back onto the bed. Even my head hitting the pillow feels like it jostles my brain out of my skull. Do I keep my eyes open? Do I close them?
 

"I'm so--" The world is suddenly muffled, like every wall around me has closed in and I can only hear everything like I'm locked inside a closet. "--ti-venom. Too much--- ry, Juno."

 There's so much sweat on my neck, it's all I can focus on that doesn't make me feel like I might throw up. There would be a stain on this pillow from my neck, if not every part of me.
 

"Give it a moment, okay?" There's Viago, every word, but still muffled. Less flashing in my eyes, less spinning, but still wrong. Wrong enough that it hurts to keep my eyes open, like it's impossible to focus my vision.
 

"You cannot be in here!" Someone has entered the infirmary, and sounds like is getting a firm talking to from Viago, although there are only harsh whispers.

 "Your father is with Caterina, they are requesting your presence."

 I can hear his boots cross the floor this time, Viago's back at my side, his hand is on my hand. I open my eyes, but my vision remains blurry. "Do not move from this spot, do you understand?"

 Its all I can do to give a nod of my head before squeezing my eyes shut again. Viago takes off, but I can hear him push the intruder out the door with him.

 I try to focus on breathing, on anything other than how sick this was making me. The entire world was sending me hurling around, and yet my body knew we were stuck in one spot-- that this was all just hallucination. It somehow made it worse.

 "Hello, little bird." I open my eyes, but there's still nothing but blurs, should I be scared? Did I recognize that voice? Only so many people called me by such a name. I groan and shut my eyes once more, turning my head away.

 "Javier?" I ask, but the laugh I hear is nothing like his.

 "Illario," The response comes. "Here to visit you, specifically. You should feel honored."

 "No!" I gasp, trying to push my body away from the sound of his voice, "You cannot be seen with me, we-- I -- I'm not even supposed to TALK to you, please!" I nearly fall off the bed entirely, unable to see anything with the dim lighting and blurred vision.

 "Woah, woah, it's okay, it's okay," His hand lands of my shoulder and I am unsure if I violently flinched or just imagined the feeling altogether, "Why would you not be able to talk to me?"

 I cannot find the right answer to say. If Illario got upset by Matteo's orders, would he try to do something about it? Did Matteo have the right to stand against anyone in the First Talon House? Did Illario have the right to try and change the Fifth Talon's orders? It was all too complicated, and the easy answer, the safest answer-- was to not let him know the truth.

 "I am not worthy," I choke out, and it feels disgusting coming from my mouth. Like I've lowered myself, like I've placed him on a pedestal, like I've.. like I've said elves are lesser. "You are of the First Talon House, Illario. I am not even a legitimate to the Fifth Talon House-- You d-" I tilt my head back as I choke on words once more. "You degrade yourself by speaking to me."

 Gods, I fucking hate Northern Thedas. Mama would strike me across the face if she heard me say such things.

 "Little bird, you wound me!" His hand comes up from my shoulder to my cheek, then up to my ear, tracing a line all the way up to the tip. "While it is true that I may be in line to be the next potential First Talon, you must not forget that at the moment, we are not even yet Crows." I feel him flick at a leaf charm on my ear cuff, it tapping against my ear in response. "You being an elf doesn't bother me, your family or standing does not bother me. We don't have to be anything more than a man and a woman."

 Why did he say it like that?

 His hand disappears from my ear, and I'm not even sure how to respond to his words. Would Matteo take this the wrong way again? Would he strike me again?

 When panic fully sets in, its like going through a tunnel. Everything fades away, the spinning, the blurs, the lights behind my eyes, Illario, his voice, any sensation of his hands upon me... All that is left is darkness and silence.

 And then suddenly, not.

 I can tell my eyes are closed, but the lights seem brighter than before even with them shut tight.

"Who put this mark on your face?" His voice is back, and I let out a sigh, having forgotten it was there temporarily.

"It is punishment," I respond. "I deserved it."

"Why?" He presses, and I bring my arm up over my eyes, trying to push down the anger and shame associated with the mark on my face.
 

"It is none of your concern."
 

There's an unsettling silence once again, and I worry he has left the room altogether until I hear him pipe up once more, "What do you want, Juno?"
 

What?
 

"Do you want to be lesser than me? Do you want to feel unworthy when you speak to me? When you speak to Lucanis?" Tears are hot in my eyes, burning at the corners and threatening to spill.
 

No.
 

"No," Its firm when I say it in my head, sounding so sure, but when it comes out of my mouth it's more like a whine, a cry for help. "I just want to get to know you-- To," I breathe in sharply, "To be able to see you and Lucanis, and have fun with Viago and Teia, too." The tears finally fall freely, and I keep my eyes shut so I don't have to see the pity on his face. "I want to be worthy."
 

"You are worthy."
 

But that was not Illario's voice.
 

When I force my eyes open, instead of only Illario in front of me, I see Lucanis at his side as well. I can feel the heat rise to my cheeks, something about him hearing all that was even more shameful than having said it to Illario.
 

"Becoming a crow means carving a path for yourself," Lucanis gently pats his hand on mine, his thumb stroking over my knuckles. It's soothing, and it's a kindness, but it's also touching, and that's dangerous. "Not every Talon was born into the role, and not everyone born into a Talon family is deserving of becoming Talon."
 

"Lucanis," I start, but he shakes his head at me, kneeling down to meet my line of sight when I cast my gaze to the floor.
 

"Did you know that Teia is being looked at to be successor to the Seventh Talon?" He asks quietly, "Teia was taken in by my grandmother after she was caught stealing in the streets and captured."
 

His fingers brushing across my knuckles feels like the only thing in the world now. No poison, no hallucinations, no pain.
 

"Teia is being looked at to be successor already, when my own grandmother hasn't even thought about choosing," He chuckles, and its low and quiet but soft and alluring. "That will make her the youngest Crow to ever ascend to Talon. What I mean to say, is that no matter your background, no matter the shape of your ears-- Crows are family. We do not pick and choose who to stand by based on things you cannot change. The strength of your character, how high you climb-- that's how I choose who gets my respect, who is worthy of my time."
 

I wipe at my eyes once more, making a vow to never let him see me cry again. I'm sure later I will claim it's the effects of the poison.
 

"Then I will become someone worthy," I press my lips together as I finally meet his gaze, unprepared for how soft and compassionate he looked compared to the bedroom eyes he had given me all but a week ago. Lucanis seemed to be a man of many layers, but I now know my assessment of him was in fact correct; Lucanis was a good man. A kind man. "I will climb and climb until everyone else needs to look up to see me, and I know you'll be there beside me," I look up to Illario, who also has dropped his facade for a more empathetic gaze, "Both of you."

 "I look forward to it."

~-~-~-~-~-~

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

 Kieran,

You're always so dramatic, you know?

I'm fine. No one has laid a hand on me since the first warning, and I have no intentions of letting anyone else do anything to bruise me.

Papa and Mama aren't here, okay? That's what it boils down to. They left me here, and I need to do what I can to survive. I don't expect you to understand, when you're living the cushy life in Orlais, but I hope at the very least you can understand that I'm not the kind of girl to give up over one tiny bump or scrape.

This has never been about Papa's honor, or anyone's legacy-- I'm just going to keep going down this path and see where it leads me, there's too many unanswered questions to say for sure I know what I want. So for right now, I'm going to search for answers.

I think I have the perfect lead.

Do not come here, I'm fine. I've always been just fine.

Good luck in bard school, Ran. Don't forget us little people when you're playing for the king.

Love always,

Juno

 My head ached. The first night Matteo was gone, all of us snuck down to the wine cellar and cracked open a bottle, passing it around until our eyes were heavy and our faces hot. Most of the night was just spent cracking jokes at Leo's expense (easier when he wasn't there to defend himself) and planning out the rest of the week we'd be free of Matteo's watchful eyes. It was so so needed after such an emotional night of crying my eyes out to Viago.

 I don't quite recall at what point in the evening we had made our way to bed, but I remember Javier had carried me up himself, making sure I was thoroughly tucked in before collapsing onto my bed laying the opposite direction.

 Much to my surprise, Viago was also asleep on the chaise lounge across the room. Arlo must have been the only one with enough clarity to make it back to his bedroom before passing out.

 The scratching of my quill on the parchment is likely what awoke Viago, I heard him groan while he stretched before he even was able to mutter a 'good morning'.

 "No--" It's almost a whine when it falls out of his mouth, he brings a hand to his temple and struggles to stand. "No words, coffee first."

 "Good morning, Viago." I tease, earning another groan from him as he passed by my chair, ruffling my hair on the way by. Javier was still curled up on my bed, snoring up a storm. It must be nice to have such a deep sleep.

 I decided, after sending off my latest letter, that it would behoove me to prepare for the day by heading to the bathhouse with a fresh set of clothes. Since I wouldn't be training, there wasn't much need to wear my uniform, and I was free to wear the clothes I brought along from home. I settled on a deep red top from Auntie Morrigan and some simple leather pants, but keeping my uniform boots with me for the day, as it seems most in Antiva wore shoes rather than simple foot wraps, elves included.

 The bath house was the one place where I knew it was unlikely I'd be disturbed, as I was the only female on the estate. From what I understood, Viago's mother stayed with the King, and Javier, Arlo and Leonardo's mother had passed shortly after Javier was born.

 I poured a bottle of bergamot and vanilla oils into the bath before sinking in, hoping to get the smell of sweat off my skin and let the scent soak into my scalp.

 From what I learned last night, Javier did not, in fact, want to be sworn in to the Crows. He especially did not want to swear his loyalty to Matteo, and did not feel Matteo even wanted him to be sworn in. Arlo was sworn in shortly before I arrived, and as he describes it, he just "rolls with the punches".

 It sounds like the only person in this estate that ever truly cared for Matteo's approval was Leonardo, which comes as no surprise considering he was the eldest son.

 But, also from what I've learned, there's whispers that Matteo does not want Leonardo as his successor.

 "Everything is a power grab," Javier explained, pointing the lip of the bottle at me, "Matteo took in Viago because Viago has royal blood. In his mind, if he has the king's son, he has the king's favor."

 "He'd push Viago ahead of his own first born to succeed just for recognition from the king?" I had asked, and Javier, Arlo and Viago has all laughed in response.

 "Matteo would kill any one of us if it pushed him farther up the ladder," Arlo replied, snatching the open wine bottle from Javier and stealing a swig. "Leonardo included. The only thing that matters to him is getting to where Caterina is."

 "Matteo wants the crows-- all of them." Viago added, his head lolling back on his neck. "Each son he takes out on the way is just collateral damage."

 Every word I could remember from last night was important-- all catalogued in a corner of my mind that was dedicated to unraveling Matteo De Riva. I don't know if there's anything I could ever do to remove him of his position of talon, but I'll be damned if I don't have ammunition the next time I'm alone in a room with him.

 When my fingers were pruned and oils and perfumes thoroughly soaked into my skin, I pulled myself from the baths and dressed myself in my casual clothes for the day. I made my way back to my bedroom, a smile on my lips as I saw Javier missing from bed, mysteriously now made, and a steaming cup of coffee left at my vanity.

 The De Riva boys were really too kind for their own good. Amazing how trauma can shape someone into more of a man than their abuser.

 When my coffee was gone, my layers of golden jewelry on and my cosmetics painted onto my skin, I was finally prepared for the day-- and just on time, from what I could hear.

 Our guests were already here.

 Another decision made over wine last night; invite over our dear friends from the First and Seventh households. We'd do our recquired studying before Matteo and Leonardo came home, but there was a mutual agreement over a few things for the next week:
 1. Fuck Matteo.
 2. Although unproven, Leonardo is likely our rat.
 3. We could prove that this week, with enough planning.
 4. We should probably enjoy this time without them while we can, as Javier will be forced out into a contract shortly after and then we'd be planning for his ceremony immediately following.

 "Our little bird finally coming home to roost!" Javier, somehow the least affected by last nights shenanigans despite arguably drinking the most, is pleased to see me coming down to greet our guests at the main staircase.

 "Hello, Juno." Illario gives me a warm smile, which I return in kind.

 "Good to see you in good health." Lucanis added with a nod.

 "What the fuck are you wearing?"

 Oh, Viago.  Sulking at a side table sipping his coffee. Someone didn't sleep well.

 I look down at my top and give a shrug, "Clothes? These are clothes, Viago. Would you prefer I not wear clothes?" Viago chokes on the sip he was taking and is quick to cover his mouth with his arm.

 "That is not what I meant and you--" He coughs again to clear his through. "And you know it. Idiot."

 "Jerk."

 He's distressed by my rebuttal, but turns his attention back to his drink, "Lucanis, Illario, would you like a cup of coffee?"

 "Why don't we take coffee out in the sitting room rather than the foyer, yes?" I offer, starting down the hall to the large sitting room. Two couches opposed eachother, as well as a few armchairs, all gathered around a lowered center table for tea.

 "My little bird's all grown up, Juno went from hiding in the corners to inviting guests to the sitting room," Javier brings a hand to his chest. "I've never been prouder older bother."

 "Thanks." Viago spits out sarcastically and rolls his eyes, taking a seat on the couch opposite me, leaving the rest of our company to decide where they would be sitting. Much to my chagrin, Lucanis took a seat on the couch across the table, leaving Javier and Illario to sit on either side of me.

 Was it too much to ask to get a smidgen of attention from him?

 "When you stop being... you, so much, I'll make sure to compliment you, Viago." Javier adds, placing his arm up on the sofa behind me and offering me a smile. "It's just nice to see Juno so relaxed."

 "How could I not be, when all my favorite people are here?" I ask, standing only to take the serving tray from the maid as she delivers the coffee kettle to the sitting room. I prepare 5 cups, simply topping off Viago's cup that he had yet to remove from his grasp-- only Andraste herself knows how many cups he's had so far.

 "Did you not invite Teia?" Viago raises an eyebrow, and I'm sure he's thinking he's being very smooth and very casual about it...

 He's not.

 "She had some business this morning, she should be here at some point, don't fret, Viago."

 "I was not fretting," Viago looks around, trying to play off his unsubtleties, "Do I appear as though I was fretting?"

 Lucanis let out the same breathy laugh that reverberated in my mind for days after the first time I met him, it brought goosebumps to my skin as I handed him his coffee. "Not at all, Viago, none of us could tell how you're waiting with bated breath for Andarateia to show up."

 Gods, I could drink the look on Viago's face right now.

 "Do not encourage her, Lucanis." Viago starts, but Lucanis simply ignores him by closing his eyes to sip his coffee.

 "She just says words, it's your reactions that make them so entertaining, Viago."

 He just gets it.

 "Nobody blames you for finding Teia so lovely, Viago," Illario comments with a shrug. "You don't become a master in seduction by being harsh on the eyes."

 "That explains so much about why you have no experience in the tactic, Illario!" Viago is smiling, but it's sharp, and it's sarcastic, and it's just as hilarious. "Thank you for putting that into perspective for me."

 And for the first time in a long time, I just feel... normal.

 Like this could be anywhere. Orlais. Ferelden.

 And for a moment in time, we aren't spies and assassins in training, we're just young and friends and the world isn't falling apart around us.

 And I laugh, it bubbles up and out of my throat and shakes my shoulders, and I realize it's been so SO long since I've laughed so freely and so genuinely.

 I missed it.

 "I will forgive you for such words since you seem to have tickled Juno so much with them," Illario composes himself, sitting up straighter to asses me as I laugh. He is grinning alongside me, and even that feel genuine. Part of me wishes Matteo would never return.

 "Sorry," I wipe at my eyes and take a seat, leaning into Javier's arm. "Sometimes I forget we're all people, past the uniforms and knives."

 "You certainly aren't getting out enough if that's the case," Illario counters. "What on earth are you doing cooped up here all the time? Are these knuckleheads not taking you to see Antivan nightlife?"

 Viago places his empty cup on the table, rubbing at his temples, still clearly fighting a hangover, "I can barely keep track of her during the day, why on earth would I bring her out at night?"

 "You make an excellent point," Javier raises an eyebrow, "Juno, would you like to see the night market with me tonight?"

 I hadn't really gotten a super fair assessment of Javier yet. My instincts said to trust him, but my lingering fear of anyone with Matteo's blood still lingered. The fact that Viago didn't immediately argue the suggestion is a good enough sign, I suppose.

 "That sounds fun," I respond, "I'd like that."

 We probably managed to pass an hour by just talking, getting tales of intel missions Illario and Lucanis had been on in the days prior. When the attendant came to the sitting room, announcing Teia's arrival, most of the gang had followed Viago out to the foyer to greet her.

 The only people remaining in the sitting room was myself and Lucanis.

 "I see your face has healed," He breaks the silence, and when I meet his gaze it's like something in my starts alight. "And no new bruises, as far as I can tell."

 "No, no new bruises," I fidget with my hands, feeling my skin warm under his gaze. "I've stayed out of trouble, mostly."

 "That doesn't sound like you at all," Lucanis teases, the corner of his mouth raising up into an endearing grin.

 "And yet you come over anyways," I lean forward on my knee, unable to stop myself from the thrills of flirting with Lucanis Dellamorte.

 "I can handle trouble in small doses," He places his coffee cup down, his eyes dragging down the deep red top I had chosen to wear. "Thank goodness you are quite small."

 "Thank goodness, indeed." My ears could hear the group making their way back to the sitting room, but I still had things left to say to Lucanis, things I didn't want others to hear. "Will you come to the gardens with me? I have questions."

 "By ourselves?"

 "Questions for you," I specify, "Questions I'd prefer Viago does not hear me ask." I stand from my spot, making my way to the second door of the sitting room and not waiting for an answer.

 He'd follow. He'd be too curious not to.

 "Viago's fury is yours to handle if he does not approve," Lucanis jokes as he meets me at the door. I reach out and grab his arm, stopping him before he exits. I look out to this side of the hallway, empty. I pull him to the back door, keeping an eye out to make sure we weren't being followed in any capacity.

 I'm quick to find a secluded veranda in the garden, ivy strewn across the tops and making it so anyone on the rooftops wouldn't have eyes on us.

 I needed to not be interrupted until I got all my answers.

 I place two ice wards on either side of the veranda, if anyone stepped into the circle, they'd be frozen for a short period of time. Ice magic was not my specialty, but the basics were simple enough.

 "Who exactly are we hiding from?" Lucanis asks, now more concerned than curious.

 "I don't know," I take a deep breath, trying to decide on what to ask first. "Lucanis, in your household, are all your conversations reported back to the first talon?" I lean towards him, his back meeting the wall of the veranda. "And I mean ALL of your conversations, even the smallest things."

 "I-I don't believe so. Not that I know of."

 "Would you know?" I counter, and his eyes narrow a little at this.

 "Of course I would, no one knows stealth better than me. I can find anyone, spies included." He shakes his head a little as he reads over my expression. "What is going on, Juno?"

 I bring my thumb up and bite it between my teeth for a moment. Here was safe, right? No one would get this back to Matteo?
 

"The Fifth Talon is having me followed. Everywhere, at every moment." I take a sharp breath in, remembering the most paralyzing moments. "I think I'm even being watched when I'm sleeping."

 "By who," Lucanis' eyes darken at this, his entire mood seems to shift. "How do you know it's under Matteo's orders?"

 "He knows about a conversation I had with Teia when we were the only ones around, he knew that Viago had given me too much poison and..."

 "And?" He's expectant, impatient. Did he not believe me, or was he pissed?

 "He knew that you and I had... dueled," I cant find it in me to hold his gaze anymore. "He was very adamant that I not lay a hand on you anymore."

 "Is that why he struck you?"

 It seems I did not have to explain that part, it had always been obvious.

 "Yes," I whisper. "I don't know for sure, but I think it may be Leonardo who is watching me but-- I just don't know. I need to try and catch him, both in the daylight and at night."

 "And what will you do if you catch him, little bird?" Lucanis crosses his arms and looks down at me over the tip of his nose. "I do not think that would make him stop if his goal is to keep tabs on you."

 "I'd fight him just for even a few nights of peaceful sleep." I bring my hand up through my hair. Well, that was one question down. "I have more, if you don't mind."

 "Go ahead."

 I shift my weight from leg to leg, unsure how to tackle the next question I had. Perhaps that one could wait.

 "What would happen if a Crow did not complete their contract and gave up on it?"

 Lucanis seemed eerily quiet for a moment, "They can give the contract to someone else to complete if they are physically unable, but if they cannot find anyone to fulfill the contract, they are expected to die at their own hand. Quickly. Lest someone need to do it for them."

 That cemented what I already knew-- Papa should've died by Crow standards.

 "And if they had... family? A paramour?"

 "We're only contracted to kill specific individuals. We don't go after anyone we don't want to-- especially someone who has no crimes to speak of. It used to be relatively common but," Lucanis searches for the words. "Since I lost my parents and Caterina took over as First Talon, most of us choose not to kill unnecessarily, or without reason. We're no angels, but neither are our targets."

 Okay, so Matteo was all talk with that. One truth, one lie.

 "Sorry, just a couple more questions," I clear my throat, not excited to ask this. "This was just something I was told, so I'm sorry if this comes off as rude. Does... Does Caterina take recruits and turn them into... breeders? For the First Talon household?"

 "... what?"

 "Yeah, now that I've said it out loud, it sounds fucking stupid." I take a step back and groan. "Matteo has really gotten in my head."

 "Matteo said this? To YOU?"

 "Specifically, he said that if Illario or ... well, you, uh. Wanted me, that you would have me, and that I would not be able to become a crow, and I would simply be domesticated and used to make more heirs."

 Lucanis waited, as if there was some punchline coming or I'd tell him I was kidding at any moment. The silence made me itch.

 "That's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard," Lucanis pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh. "I really was not anticipating going into this-- but there's a history between the Fifth House and the First House. Specifically, between Matteo De Riva and my mother."

 Woah. WOAH.

 What does THAT mean?

 "Before he was Fifth Talon, he was just a crow. From what I've been told, he was supposed to be sent out on a contract in Ferelden with about 6 or 7 other crows, maybe 16 years back? He was worried that in the time he'd be away, my mother would become betrothed to the man my grandmother hand selected for her. He negotiated his way out of the contract somehow, another stepped in to fill his shoes that day, and everyone involved with that contract died in Ferelden." Lucanis tapped his foot, seemingly lost in his thoughts. "Some good it did him anyways, my mother still didn't want him, and yet he blames Caterina. And even worse, he drags you into this drama? It's just strange, with how much the man wants power, you would think he'd be doing anything to get his family involved with the First Talon house."

 That's a pretty good point, based on what everyone was saying last night, Matteo is power hungry. So why would he not be pushing for union between the two houses? Does he have something bigger in mind?

 "I'll look into it... One last question," I step into Lucanis' space and wrap a fist around his collar, wanting to make sure I can get a good read on him when I ask him this question. "Can I trust you and your cousin? Or will you report me to Matteo as well?"

 "Little bird," Lucanis shakes his head at me, sounding like a disappointed father, "I have no allegiance to Matteo De Riva, and never will."

 "And Illario?"

 "Illario is harmless," Lucanis gives me the grin I had come to know so fondly. "Take all his words with a grain of salt, he thinks he's far more charming than anyone else does."

 "Good to know," I respond, still not stepping back. I unfurl my fist and drag it down the lapel of his jacket, pulling my eyes from his. "I'd hate for you to be without a little trouble in your life."

 "You and me, both." Lucanis' hand finds mine, wrapping around it gently. His touch felt very different, different from Viago and very different from Matteo.

 There was electricity under my skin once more, but it felt less like it was going wild and more like it was reaching out Lucanis, aching for contact. The static through my body made me feel weightless, like my stomach was floating but would drop at any moment. It was addicting, exhilarating and heated.

 And it came to a shattering conclusion when a ward was activated, and the tell tale sounds of ice magic pierced through the air.

 "Juno... why is my foot frozen to the ground?"

 "Looks like magic."

 Nice, Teia.

 I took a deep breath before slowly pulling away from Lucanis, biting my lip as I took one last look at his expression, letting it sink in, and pulling down the wards around the veranda. "You know, I was trying to catch a bug, and it's looks like I caught one," I bend over to inspect Viago's boot, wrapped in thick ice and stuck to the ground. "I wasn't exactly aiming to catch a fly on the wall, though."

 "Unfreeze. My. Foot."

 "Oh, definitely don't do it now," Lucanis jokes, earning Viago's ire as he rounds the corner of the veranda. "Viago seems to have misplaced his manners."

 "Just to be clear," Teia clears her throat, "I sent him over here. I just really wanted to see him walk over the magic circle."

 "Oh, you don't have to trick him, I'll hit him with spells for free if you're the one asking, Teia."
 

"You two bring out the worst in each other," Viago closes his eyes, bringing his face to the sky since he was still unable to move from that particular spot. "Every time I'm in the same room as the both of you, I age ten years."

 Lucanis raises a hand up to pat Viago's shoulder, and for a moment, Viago seems glad to have someone's sympathy.

 "We can tell." 

 Lucanis wouldn't let Viago hold that delusion.

 I love that about him.

Chapter Text

I'm unsure at what point Javier became less my spy tactics teacher, and more a good friend, but he has quite the way of growing on you expeditiously.

 His decision to take me to the night market, and to purchase the pinchitos, certainly had my favor for him skyrocketing.
 

"They only make these during the night market, you know," Javier waved his chicken skewer at me, "The stand is filled with another vendor during the day-- Not as good. Nightlife in Treviso is truly where you see the city shine."
 

"Do you come here often?" I ask, taking in all the sights around us. The night market was a bit more interesting, blue and orange flamed lanterns dotted the area and there seemed to be a street performer around every corner. There were puppet shows, bards and even magicians. There were many unique stands, along with the expected fruit, weapons and clothing stalls. There were tarot and palm readers, pottery dealers and fine arts-- it would've felt out of place in an outdoor market if this wasn't Antiva.
 

"Not as often as I used to," Javier admits, his eyes watching one of the puppet performances but clearly not absorbing the story. "Leo used to take me here, actually."

 "Truly?" I swallow the bite of chicken I had been working on, "He doesn't seem the type to..." What were the right words to say here? "Want to participate in extracurricular activities."

Nailed it.

 Javier takes a deep breath, a solemn expression dancing across his features, "Yes, well... He hasn't always been so caught up in titles. He used to be much more carefree, much more interested in having a life outside of the Crows." Javier chucks his empty skewer into a trash barrel and wipes his hands on his pants. "We used to be quite close."

 "What happened?" I follow Javier as he move through the space in the market, back towards the vending stalls. Javier seems to contemplate whether or not he wants to tell me whatever he's alluding to, and I throw out the rest of my skewer before grabbing onto his arm. "Javier, I only ask because he scares me," This seems to make Javier's expression soften, and he shakes his head in defeat. "If there's any good in him, any at all, I'd like to know of it."

 "I fear there may be none left, Juno," Javier places his hands on his hips, "Leonardo hasn't been the same since... well, since Viago was brought home to the estate." Javier gestures towards the stands, leading us over to look at a jewelry display. "Before Viago, there was no question that Leo would be the successor for the Fifth Talon when the time came. All he had ever wanted was to succeed Father, he craved Father's approval." Javier picks up a small pendant, raising it up to hold it beside my face, thinking a moment before putting it back down. "When he realized it was more likely that Viago would become successor, Leo lost himself. I'm not sure he's known peace since that day."

 I drag my eyes across the jewelry, my heart aching, "That's not Viago's fault, he had no where to go--"
 

"Please do not misunderstand," Javier interrupts, holding another jeweled peace up to my face, giving me a sympathetic smile. "Nobody blames Viago, not even Leo. It's just what Father does, he pits us against each other to see who comes out on top. His love is conditional, and can change in an instant."
 

Javier holds a few more stones up to my face, it surely was a strange way to see what I thought of each piece. Was I supposed to react to trinkets when he's being so open with his heart?
 

"Is that why you don't want to take your oath?" I respond, quietly, never knowing who is listening. "Is that why you're nervous?"
 

Javier quickly plucks something off the table, raising it to the vendor.
 

"15 gold."

 Javier pulls some coin from his pouch, handing it to the vendor before filling the void in his pouch with the purchased jewelry. Javier looks me over, then looks around, then gives me a nod to follow him towards one of the bard performers in the street.
 

He leans against a wall, around the corner from a lantern so as to slip into the shadows.

 I see. He wanted the music to drown out his words to listening ears, and if they can't see his lips, they cant read them.

 "I am no killer, Juno. I never have been, that's why Leonardo no longer cares for me, either," He doesn't whisper, but he isn't loud. Javier had mastered not letting his voice carry, clearly. "When you are raised in the Talon's Estate, you aren't offered a choice. Even if you're marrying out, moving away-- you're still a spy. There is no 'getting out' once you've been sworn in."

 "Is that what you want?" I look up to Javier, his hazel eyes seem to glow with the reflections of the lights of the market. "Do you want to get out?"

 "That is merely a dream," He responds, bringing a hand up to pat my head. "An impossible one." His thumb strokes over the top of my head, and I can tell talking about this is hard for him.

 I can't imagine carrying the weight of knowing that no matter how hard you fight, you'll never escape the expectations. I suppose a part of me understood, having parents that have already done more for the world I could hope to achieve.

 "You could try," I whisper, placing my hands behind me on the stone building. "I could help you... I know good people in Orlais."

 Javier pulls his hand from atop my head, shaking his head, "I think we both know we are watched far too much for that to be possible. Not with how the crows watch over the new recruits. Besides, if I leave, who will look after your sorry ass?"

 "Javie, please," I hold up a hand to dismiss the thought. "That's why I keep Viago around."

 Javier's laugh is genuine, and he looks up at the sky while he nods.

 "You two are good for each other, despite what he may say, I think you remind him to hang onto the humanity he has. I hope that continues as he succeeds the Fifth Talon. It gives me hope for the future of the Crows."

 There's a comfortable silence between us as we listen to the bard songs, and I try to compose the right things to say in my mind.

 Javier did not want to be a Crow, he didn't want to kill people, how could that be a bad thing to anyone? Was there really no way to get him out? Was there truly no moment he could just... slip away?

 But I should know better than anyone, if you betray the crows, there is no returning to Antiva. Do or die. But was that the same for recruits that weren't sworn in? Would they be hunted down, or was it not a loss in the long run?
 

"If you left before your ceremony, would that be the same crime as you leaving after?" I turn to face him, looking up at his face, surprised by my question. "If you left the estate, left Treviso, would they come after you?"
 

Javier seemed speechless for a moment, "If I leave Treviso before being sworn in, I will still have nothing. No money, no family--"
 

"You will ALWAYS have family," I bring a hand up to his bicep, making sure to squeeze his muscle to get my point across. "There is no oath or vow or ceremony that could take away the fact that you are loved, and you do not need Matteo's approval, you are a better man without it."

 Javier's cheek flush a little at this, but his eyes close, and I can tell I've stuck a chord.

 "I'm not pushing you, Javie, but I can say with confidence that if you decided to go, I would stand between you and any person who tried to bring you back, and I would not be alone." I let my hand slide down his arm, taking his hand in mine and stroking my fingers over the top of his knuckles. "Your capacity for being loved is not restricted by what you can do for Matteo. You are a good person, Javie. As long as you know who you are, and what makes you happy, it doesn't matter how Matteo sees you, because I see you, and I care for you."
 

He gives a small nod of his head, clearing his throat to fight back his emotions. He and Viago might not be related by blood, but they certainly share a similar emotional capacity.
 

"Thank you, Juno," He lets out a breath he had been holding, "Maker, you are going to take men to their knees with words alone. Teia might be able to retire early," Javier chuckles at his own joke, patting me on the back to get us moving again. "Do you have any shopping to do before we head home, little bird? Anyone you'd like to buy something for, perhaps?"

 He wiggles his eyebrows at me and I narrow my eyes, "I have no idea what you mean by that."

 "Come now, surely one Dellamorte has caught your eye, if not both. They seem to both have eyes on you at all times."

 "Should I be worried about that?" I slow my pace as we reach a new section of the market, my eyes caught on the confectionaries.

 "No no, they're nothing you can't handle," Javier brings a hand up to his chin, taking interest in the stall I stopped at. "Teia mentioned Illario perhaps got off on the wrong foot with you, but find solace in the fact that he's just simply an idiot."

 "I gathered that much," I laugh, pulling coin from my pouch and calculating out a few different purchases. "Do you think he tries to be that creepy?"

 "I'm almost positive Illario thought he was being mysterious and charming, whatever he did. Poor fool has barely talked to women, let alone won their affections over Lucanis."

 I feel myself stumble over my own footing at these words.

 "Is uh," Did I really want to ask this? Yes, I suppose I did. "Is there a lot of women with affections for Lucanis?"

 "Oh, I'm sure there are," Javier gets a very sly grin on his face, one that I'd like to punch off. "I've seen him turn down more than a few dances at gatherings, but in comparison to Illario, Lucanis is far FAR worse with matters related to the heart." Javier calls the vendor over to purchase some truffles I had just been looking over as well. "He tried to give Viago a knife once as a gift, very clearly expressing interest-- Viago had no idea. Not that Viago has ever had eyes for anyone but Teia."

 Sorry, what?

 Viago was my competition?

 "Fret not, little bird, you take the air from Lucanis' lungs whenever you enter a room. It's audible, and honestly a little embarrassing."

 Was it suddenly hotter in this area of the market?

 "I'd like a small bag of these chocolate covered espresso beans, please." I choose not to respond to Javier, who's clearly enjoying trying to get a rise out of me. "Could I also get a box of the chocolate butterfly pastries? Thank you."

 "Espresso beans? Has coffee grown on you that much?"

 Keep your face neutral. Don't blush. Don't let him figure it out.

 "Ohhhh, it's a gift." Javier gives an approving nod, "I see, and why this particular item, Juno?"

 Because every one of you eggheads drinks coffee, Javier.

 ... and maybe because Lucanis smells of it, just a bit. But not the overwhelming bitter kind Teia served me, his was more rich. A layered scent, like the cakes that were made by soaking cookies in espresso that Viago made me try.

 "Make that two bags of the espresso beans, please," I hand over some extra coin to the vendor as she prepares my order. "I'm just buying gifts for my friends, Javie. I'm not buying anyone knives."

 "Shame," Javier grabs my pile of confections before it can be handed to me, keen to carry my items for me. "He seemed to think it was a great gift, he'd probably really like to get one someday."

 I roll my eyes and breeze past Javier, looking over another booth, "I thought I could make men fall to their knees with my words alone, why do I need to bring a knife into it?"

 "Is that the goal then, to make Lucanis fall to his knees before you?"

 Now that, that is a nice thought.

 "I don't like how long you're taking to answer-- never mind, forget that question." Javier shakes his shoulder as if letting his invasive thoughts leave his body, "Stick with espresso beans, I'm sure he'll enjoy it."
 

"You sure? I could talk about bringing men to their knees a bit more--"
 

"Nope! We're done with that," Javier groans and gestures to the canals, "Shall we head out then?"

 I glance back to a stall behind me, giving Javier a smile "You go, I'll catch up in just a moment."

 Javier rolls his eyes, starting off to the Gondola, "Just make sure it's sharp and not a decorative knife!"

 Men.

 I hustle back to an artisan booth, seeing the two exact items I had been searching for, "Could I please have the map of Southern Thedas, as well as this silver compass?" When I opened the compass cover, I couldn't help but smile at the etching inside the cover.
 

He might not go even if he gets these, but I want him to have the choice.
 

Javier does not need to be a crow if he doesn't want to be.
 

I tuck my purchases into my inside pocket of my jacket, paying the vendor and hustling back to the gondolas to get a ride home with Javier.
 

"Soooo, is it silver? Any encrusted jewels? How fancy is it?"
 

"I did not buy a knife, Javie," I scoff, looking out to the canals to watch the lights reflect off the ripples of water. "Do you suppose Viago will be waiting at the gates to scold us for being out so late?"
 

"No," Javier crosses his arms, "He will be in the foyer, sipping on a coffee he made to be sure he'd be awake long enough to scold us."
 

"Care to make a wager on it?" I raise my eyebrow, challenging my counterpart.
 

"Fine, I win, you show me the knife you picked out."

 "Fine, but if I win, you show me the brooch you purchased." I counter. I didn't have a particular interest in Javier's love life, but if he's buying jewelry for someone, than that has to be the biggest force stopping him from leaving Treviso behind. I'd have to talk to them.
 

"Deal," Javier leans back in his seat, the Fifth Talon Estate coming into view as we round a bend in the canal. It was too dark to see much past the front gates, but I held onto hope Viago would not let me down.

 That was my mistake. Can't count on Viago for shit.

 "Looking a bit like Viago's not anywhere outside, Little Bird. Are you prepared for another difficult loss?" Javier teases as we approach the front door. "Tell me, would you prefer I wait til we're alone to gloat about this?"
 

"I'd prefer you not gloat at all, though I imagine that's asking for the impossible." I feel my breath catch in my throat as we open the door, both of our eyes darting around the foyer.
 

Looks like Javier was wrong too. Figures.
 

"A tie," I shrug, "Seems Viago must've gotten tired waiting around."

 Javier sighs, placing my purchases down on a side table, "Well, that certainly makes our wager a bit less interesting."

 "Perhaps," I tap my chin performatively, "But perhaps you were wrong all along, Javie, and you would've never gotten the reveal you were hoping for." I reach into my jacket and pull the folded map and compass from my pocket, presenting it to him.

 Javier's brows furrow as he takes the map, unfolding it and falling into a stunned silence as he looks it over. Wordlessly, he clicks open the face of the compass, revealing a halla and a blackbird etched into the top. Javier clicks the compass shut, swallowing down his emotions as he gives a small nod. He tucks his gifts into his own jacket pocket before looking down at me.

 And then he surprises me.

 Javier reaches around and pushes me forward into his arms, beding down slightly to rest his cheek on top of my head.

 It's a different hug from Viago's, but it's just as warm, and its easier to wrap my arms around Javier's waist since he's so much taller. He doesn't need to say anything, the hug said enough.
 

He plants a quick kiss on top of my head before pulling away, "You're far too good for this world, little bird," Javier thinks for a moment before continuing. "I need you to close your eyes."
 

"I'm pretty sure it's in the Crow manual to never take your eyes off your opponent," I joke, "But I suppose I can comply, for you."
 

"We are not opponents, Juno," I feel his hands fiddling with something on my shoulder, the collar of my jacket, perhaps? "We are family."

 Oh.

 I don't know why that makes me want to cry.

 "And your family will always have your back, even when you close your eyes."

 "Even when you walk away." I add, giving him my best smile.

 "Open your eyes, you smooth talker." Javier jokes, his hands leaving my jacket. I pull my shirt forward to be able to see what he'd done.

 Double oh.

 On my collar was a onyx brooch, carved delicately into the shape of a flying crow. In the center, where the outstretched wings met on the crows back, was a deep purple amethyst lined in silver.

 It was purple, MY purple.

 "It reminded me of you," Javier gave an approving nod of the brooch on my jacket, "Though admittedly, I did walk over to that booth knowing I'd be buying you a gift."

 I guess Teia was right about that, no one would be able to see the color and not think of me.

 "Thank you, Javie," I get a little choked up on my own words. "For this, for today, for... for everything."

 "I don't know how often we'll get days like this, but... I'll happily take you to the night market any time you'd like." Javier ruffles my hair, bringing his hands to his hips after. "Now take your presents and get upstairs, lest we wake Viago and face his wrath."

 "Goodnight, Javie." I smile as I collect my things and hustle upstairs, happy to have these days of peace in Matteo's absense.

 I push open my bedroom door, quick to place my purchases down on my nightstand as I searched for the oil lantern that usually was usually resting on the same surface.

 The answer came as the room was lit by a faint orange glow, and when I turned to face the chaise lounge by the window, I could see the culprit.

 "You were supposed to be home four hours ago," Ah, there he was, coffee cup and all. "Where have you been?!"

 "You know Viago, you can just say you missed me." I chuckle, turning my back to him to retrieve something from my stash of purchases.

 "You could've been kidnapped for all I knew!" I chuck a bag at him, and his reflexes kick in just in time to grab it before it makes contact with his face. "What is this?" He unties the ribbon holding the bag closed, bringing it up to his nose to sniff it. "Oh, chocolate covered espresso beans? I haven't had these in quite some time."

He's got a very short attention span.

 "I had to make a few extra stops, sorry to keep you up, Viago." I offer, earnestly. I really didn't want to have a back and forth this late at night. Viago was surprised by this, almost like he didn't believe I was giving him a gift.

 "Yes, well..." He reties the bag and looks me over before heading to the door. "Get some rest, it's late."

 "Goodnight, Viago." I sing at him, and he stops before closing the door entirely.

 "This isn't like the... knife thing, right? This isn't supposed to mean anything? I can never tell anymore."
 

Oh god. No. No.
 

"No Viago, it's just a gift," I roll my eyes before turning to meet him at the door, "Actually, Viago, just checking here... You're not interested in Lucanis, right?"

 Yeah, the look on his face was my answer.

 "Did you hit your fucking head with Javier? Be honest."
 

"Just checking! Goodnight Viago."
 

"Goodnight, idiot."

 "Jerk!" I counter before he's able to close my door entirely. I shake my head with a laugh, fully prepared to lay down for bed before I spy a new letter on my vanity.

 Viago must have grabbed it from my bird for me. The real question is did he read it? Did he sit here to make sure no one else could read it?

 He really is very sweet.

Juno,

I had a long talk with Teia the other day, and she informed me that I may have gotten off on the wrong foot with you. Admittedly, I'm not much good with words, and I've never been the best at making friends, but that's no excuse. If I caused you any discomfort the day we met, or any of the days following, I sincerely apologize.

I will give you more space from here out. Please know that all of my actions were just in eagerness to get to know you, it's not often that I get to interact with other recruits, they tend to keep most of the Talon houses away from regular recruits, so it's rare to meet new people.

I hope you can find it in you to forgive me, and that we may continue to get to know eachother in days to come. You are truly an interesting person, and I'd be glad to help you get to know Treviso's charms outside of the Fifth Talon Estate.

You needn't reply if you don't want to, but you are more than welcome to send me mail whenever you wish.

Deepest regards,

Illario Dellamorte

Chapter Text

We share a laugh and I look back over to Lucanis, enjoying the way the sunlight reflects off of his dark hair. He certainly was a sight to behold, especially in such a lovely dress shirt and vest, muted colors compared to what Illario was wearing. A gray purple dress shirt, almost like dried lavender, and an even more muted purple vest, but a deep purple tie that reminded me of the color Teia painted my nails. MY purple.
 

"Did you have a question in mind, Lucanis? You seem like you're waiting with bated breath," Viago's words finally have me snapping my eyes back up to Lucanis', nearly jumping when I see that I've been caught inspecting him.

 "Yes, actually." Lucanis places his coffee cup down on the platter and interlocks his fingers, leaning forward on the table, holding his gaze-- with intent, Teia might say. "Do you have a goal for your future?"

 There were many. So many.

 Some felt more like daydreams, when he looked at me, but I could formulate a sentence of two. He didn't completely shut my brain off, but it was close.

 "One important one," I remove the rose from behind my ear and look down at it, if today has taught me anything, it's that there is hope in the mystery of the future. I don't think Viago was expecting me to look up at him, because the smugness falls off his face when our eyes meet. "I'd like to see Viago become the Fifth Talon, more than anything else."

 He's the hope I see, at the very least in the future of this household.

 Red cheeks and all.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

This entire time I thought he must be blind to it, that we were helpless and doomed to a life of Matteo's cruelty, that Viago would have to take over as Fifth Talon before any light would be cast on the darkness of the Crows.

But the entire time, Viago was five steps ahead. Ahead of Matteo, even ahead of me.

There he was, as brilliantly as ever, the hope in the mystery.

Chapter Text

 I waited the entire night for a reply that didn't come. I truly, TRULY mean all night. I barely slept, which is saying something because since I've been feeling more paranoid, I maybe get a few on and off hours a night.

 The liquor has been the only thing putting me into a deep sleep these past few nights, and I obviously can't keep that up forever. Especially not from Matteo's wine cellar.

 When Viago had come to see me in the late morning, I had been hours from the bath, having snuck down before the sun even rose to scrub my skin raw until it felt like I washed enough of my shame off.

 I get not being interested, but to not reply to my letter at all? To completely IGNORE it and leave me waiting? Torture. True, evil torture. Nothing Matteo could ever do to me would hurt as much as the despair I anguished in waiting at a window for a bird to never come.

 If Viago and I had never discussed what we had last night, I imagine a spirit would've risen right there are corrupted me.

 But it's fine.

 Because he'd be back over today, according to Viago, and above everything else, I cannot look bothered. So bless Teia for the cosmetics, because it's enough to cover the deep circles around my eyes, and to add a little bit of the flair I had seen Auntie Morrigan place around her eyes.

 Smoky, like wisps were kissing away the colors around your eyes. And then Teia's new trick, adding just a slight hint of innocence to the allure, making green eyes sparkle without the need for tears. I take it a step further and bring the shimmer down onto my cheek, over my cheekbone and highlighting edges of my facial tattoo. I couldn't exactly call it Vallaslin, but it wasn't just some random tattoo either. Papa and I had picked it out together, simple feathers sprouting from under my eye and sweeping down over the top of my cheek. It had only fully healed this past year, and it meant the world to me. It deserved to be showcased.

 And of course, as Teia put it, the "elfy" lip had to be put back on.

 I was unsure if I'd ever wear it when I received it from Auntie Morrigan, but if there was ever a day, it was today. I pull a draped maroon fabric from my dresser, the hood sliding through my hands as I twisted it around. You'd think, with how much fabric there was in the back compared to the front, that it was meant to be worn the other way around-- but alas, the deep dip, down to the navel, was worn in the front. The lace detailed bandeau I wore across my chest was more than Auntie ever wore, so it's incredibly more tame, but still scandalous enough that I know I'll hold the power today.

 Whether or not that will bite me in the ass is yet to be determined.

 Did men feel the same way about women in leather pants as women felt about men in leather pants? Let's find that out, too. And no shoes today, just footwraps and toe rings. We're just going to toe the line in the complete opposite direction and see what sticks.

 When I heard the parlor door open, for what may well be one of the last times before Matteo returned, I waited patiently, leaning on the railing as I watched Javier and Viago open the door for our guests.

 I could feel my hair sliding over my bare shoulders, a feeling that become foreign apart from time spent in the bath, and golden locks dangled by my arms as I leaned forward, clasping my hands as I watched the door. My fingers clinked together impatiently, rings clattering against each other as I watched our guests enter one by one; Teia, Lucanis, Illario.

 That meant the full chessboard was in the Fifth Talon estate today, with no Fifth Talon in sight. I wasn't even the one to invite everyone over-- that was Viago.

 If I had to guess, today's meeting was just the start of what would become a regular meeting involving the chessboard. Though I was unsure how any meetings could be held at all when Matteo returned-- Would we rely on letters? Would we have to speak in code? Is that why everyone was a chess piece?

 I felt a bit more like a falcon perched in a tree than a crow on a railing, waiting for my little target to finally look up. Once the front door has closed, Illario is actually the first to look up and meet my gaze. I probably look like the cat that just ate the canary.

 "Dios Mio," Illario mutters, whipping everyone's attention to him, and then up to me. Javier whistles, patting Illario on the shoulder.

 "Careful now, that's my baby bird right there." He jokes, and is quick to grab Viago by the collar before he can come stomping up the stairs.

 "Juno, you go put a real shirt on this INSTANT--"

 "This IS a shirt Viago, this is the clothing of my homeland-- now you're just being racist." I click my tongue at him and fiddle with the gold necklace brushing against my collarbone. Maybe he didn't need to know that Auntie Morrigan was likely the ONLY woman who dressed like this back home. "Besides, this was a gift, it'd be a shame not to appreciate it."

 "Yeah," Illario slaps Javier's hand off his shoulder, still not turning to look at the older male. "Let her wear the clothes of her people, Viago, who are you, her father?"

 Well then. Illario still your favorite now, DAD?

 Javier manages to wrangle Viago enough to get him to calm down, pushing him to the side to lead the group into the sitting room, and finally, F I N A L L Y, I can see who I came all the way downstairs for.

 And he's stopped just in front of the door, where he's been standing this entire time. And as Teia corrals everyone into the sitting room, she sends me wink. What a wing woman.

 "Lucanis," I take a step off the stairs towards him, caught in his onyx gaze. "I'm surprised you showed up today."

 "Why wouldn't I?" I watch his eyes slide down my neck, my chest, tracing the edges of my shirt and rounding all the way back up.

 "Well," I take another step closer, watching his posture straighten as he's nearly backing into the door. "I would think your hands were either poorly injured or cut off altogether if they were not right in front of me. Or perhaps you had gone blind overnight, but by the way your eyes cant pick a spot to stare, I'd say your vision is just fine."

 Lucanis shuts his eyes tightly, turning his head to the side for a moment. The faintest pink dusts his cheeks. I suddenly understand why he always looks like he gets the most enjoyment when I'm absolutely flustered.

 This? This was addicting.

 "I wrote to you," I take another step to him, my chest only inches from his-- our bodies weren't touching, but his space was now mine. "Did you simply burn my letter, Lucanis? Did you cast it into the trash the very moment it arrived? Or do you just hate me so?"

 I can see the frustration build on his face despite still having his eyes shut tightly, but that seemed to be the final word he'd let me get out.

 "I read it," For once, he's whispering, "I read it. Several times." He goes to lift his hand, but stops himself, instead closing his fist tight enough to turn his knuckles white. His head dips down, "I spent the entire night, hours, trying to even think of a reply that would compare," Whatever held Lucanis back before, it's gone, and he reaches up to move some hair from my cheek and place his where it once lay, his thumb brushing my cheekbone and his fingers locked into the curve of my skull. "The only things that were burned or thrown out were my failed attempts to deliver a response that could match the prose you sent to me."

 And I could, if I wanted to, live in that moment. I could stay in his grasp and let him give me pretty excuses, ones that removed the ache from my heart of the insecurity of the night before-- But if I lose myself in this moment here, I might lose sight of my goals entirely. There is a possibility of a future with Lucanis, but not until Matteo is gone. Not until I know myself, and everyone I care for, is safe.

 So I pull away.

 "You were not the only one up all night," I look to the sitting room, then back to him, his head hitting back against the door in defeat. "But I was the only fool waiting by the window." I shake my head and turn sharply, starting into the sitting room without Lucanis.

 The sound of his first smacking back into the door did not go unnoticed.

 I am most pleased to see an empty seat between Illario and Arlo, and am quick to make myself comfortable in the center of the sofa. The opposing sofa held Viago, Teia and Javier. Which just left two of the armchairs for Lucanis to sit in, and as he enters in the room shortly after, his jaw tenses as he sits in the chair nearest Viago.

 "What kept you?" Illario turns to me, eyes more curious than I'd like to see.

 I'm done letting him get secrets out of me.

 "I was just saying hello to Lucanis," I smile at him, feeling my eyes crinkle at the corners, "You already gave me a most warm welcome, what was it you said, 'Mother of God'?"

 Illario leans back against the sofa, sweeping his arm up over the back, "Well, I admit I was caught by surprise by your... choice of colors," His eyes sweep over me, and he covers for himself-- though we all know what he was thinking, "It slipped out, my apologies if I caused any offense."

 "No offense taken," I respond, leaning back against the sofa as well, practically laying my head on his arm. "I appreciate when people speak their mind, makes it easier to understand their intentions."

 "And what do you understand my intentions to be?" He counters, bringing that charming smile back to his face. His eyes were half lidded, but his brow was raised, he was amused by this. I suppose I was too, a bit.

 Before I can respond, Arlo has dipped his head down to whisper in my ear, "If he grips the arm of that chair any harder, he's going to break it, knock it off."

 I spare Lucanis a glance, though he's not looking at me, he does indeed have a tight grip on the armrest of his chair. I take a deep breath and let my head roll back to look up at Arlo with a grin.

 "Amusing, is it not?"

 Arlo quirks his brow before reaching out and flicking me on the nose.

 "Bad bird."

 Tsk. No fun.

 "I'm sure you're all aware from the correspondence you received this morning, but I'll reiterate so that we are all on the same page," Viago had been pouring everyone coffee, and begins the discussion once he is seated again. I craned my neck back up, pulling myself back up to sit straight on the couch and offer Viago my attention. "Juno put her piece on the board, suggesting a reformation of the Crows before it was ever brought up to her. I am confident we can use her help, and with her, we may finally stand a chance of bringing down the current tyranny within the houses," He raises his cup up, looking to me, "I am very proud to introduce our new Rook, cheers to Juno."

 Everyone around the coffee table picks up their cups, raising them in the air. It's a show of respect unlike anything I had experienced before, and it made my heart swell.

 "Thank you," I raise my cup in response, and everyone seems to relax as they take a long sip of their drinks. "Viago has a confidence in me that I'm not sure I can match, but I'm going to give it my best shot."

 "Glad to have you on our side," Teia holds her cup tightly in her hands, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees, "It's a shame it took terrible things to bring us all together, but the more of us there are, the stronger we stand." Teia casts her gaze over every person in the room, stopping with a lingering gaze on Viago. "The game will be long, but I know we can win."

 "I don't mean to drive a wedge in this plan," Javier interrupts, "But this may be the only time we can speak about this without fear of repercussion-- How are we going to work on this plan if we have no where we can meet outside of Talon eyes?"

 "Then we find somewhere," Viago nods, "There's plenty of buildings in this district with no eyes on them, let's find a space and make it our meeting point."

 "All of the Fifth Estate will not be able to leave at once," Arlo places his coffee cup down and crosses his arms, "One or two, fine, but if all of us vanish, Matteo will notice. I think it's best if Javier and I only show up when we're directly involved in something, you will need someone to cover for you."

 "Why don't we have a code," I offer, "When we're needed at the meeting, we get a letter. Innocuous to an outsider, but means something to us." I chew on the inside of my cheek for a moment, before a thought falls into my brain. "E4. The center of the board. When you're needed, you will receive a letter by carrier bird, and it will read your calling sign, and E4, wherever our base of operations will be."

 "Rook to E4," Javier gives a small nod, "Honestly, even if anyone were to find the messages, they'd just think someone was playing a game in the most boring way possible."

 "For everyone's sake," Viago interlocks his fingers as he rests his hands in his lap. "In any correspondence regarding these matters, refer to yourself and others only by the appropriate calling sign. No names, I don't need Matteo dragging anyone else into the shit he puts the people of this house through."

 "Apart from that, expect nothing different from what you've already been told-- You recruit NO ONE, if someone has proven themselves to be trustworthy and looking to fight for the same cause; you tell Viago and I first." Teia adds, "I will go scouting with Viago today to find a suitable location for a base of operations. We will be in touch."

 Viago tips back the rest of his coffee, sets down his cup, then gestures two fingers towards his eyes, then points directly at me.

 "Behave," He warns.

 "No promises." I watch Viago's eye twitch just slightly as he follows Teia out the door, hearing the front door open and shut shortly after. "Well... now what?"

 "I cannot bare another day inside," Javier slaps his hands on to his knees, "How do you feel about seeing the market during the day, little bird?"

 "Is it much different?" I ask, and Arlo chuckles beside me.

 "If the night market is meant to be for older people with coin flowing from their pockets, the day market is a stark contrast, very much made for children," Arlo looks at me from the corner of his eye, "You should go, you'll love it."

 "What is that supposed to mean?"

 Rude.

 "I happen to love the market during the day," Javier raises a hand to his chest, "There's all kinds of games and performers that don't play at night--"

 Oh. Okay. Yeah, if Javie likes it, it's probably pretty childish.

 "It's not all bad," Illario offers, "The do a smaller version of baile del cordón, there's artists painting scenery, there's helado being sold by the mages."

 "What is helado?" I ask, earn a collective gasp from everyone in the room, Arlo included.

 "Well, shit," Arlo stretches before standing, "I guess we're going to the market."

 "Nice," Javier grins, quick to leap and dash out of the room to the front door. I look to Illario, then Lucanis, shrug, then stand.

 "You boys coming?" I throw over my shoulder, and hear their footsteps scurry to catch up with me moments later.

 Good. Obedient.

 Arlo leads us out to the city canals, pays a gondolier, and nods towards a gondola. I truly did love this about Treviso, that to get about in this city you used gondolas. Something about it just felt romantic.

 Arlo and Javier occupy one side of the gondola, Arlo's wide shoulders taking up much of the space where third person MIGHT have fit if he didn't man spread his body across the seat with Javier following suit.

 If I didn't know any better, I'd say these two were planning something.

 Fine. Two can play at that game. You wanna make it weird? I'm excellent at making things weird.

 Once Lucanis slides into the gondola, I pull myself from the middle of the seat, instead sliding myself over to the space between Lucanis and the wall, bending my knees over his lap and letting my feet rest atop Illario's thigh. Lucanis is frozen in the space and Illario takes what feels like an eternity to look from my toe rings up to my face.

 "I want to be able to see everyone," I let my teeth slide over my lip, nodding over to Arlo and Javier. "Why should I only have to look at them the whole ride? I see them every day." Javier and Arlo don't wear it on their faces, but one of them snorts back a laugh. "Am I not permitted to look at you?"

 "I can see why you keep her cooped up at home most days," Lucanis grumbles, finally letting his arms fall onto my legs to hold them in place. "Do you think they make leashes for people like they do mabari?"

 "Oh I know they d-" Arlo drives an elbow into Javier's side before he can finish the sentence, causing the younger male to bow forward in pain. "Malnacido," Javier mumbles, and a laugh bubbles out of my lips at their antics. Javier looks up to me, his eyes softening "Oh, little bird. Your laugh is like the sweetest music when you live a life completely surrounded by men. They are cruel, and their voices like gravel."

 "All men? Or are you just making jabs at Arlo?" I tilt my head, not realizing that as my head rolled to the side, I brought my head close to Lucanis' hair. His scent filled my nostrils before I even realized what happened.

 Cinnamon. Coffee. Something deeper, richer, buried underneath the other scents. Something familiar, sweet, tying it all together.

 He smelled like chocolate.

 Good gods if I don't stop myself from breathing right now, I may huff his hair into my nostrils.

 My eyes flick up to Lucanis, but he seems like he's either very annoyed of having some kind of private conversation with his god, so I refrain from opening my mouth and making it worse.

 I absentmindedly point my toes, going to stretch my foot but quickly realizing I still in fact had Illario's thigh under my feet. It was muscular, and didn't feel very pliable under my foot, so my foot just wound up driving his thigh into his other one. I can see his jaw flex as he brings a hand up to his temple, trying to focus anywhere but my feet.

 And then the most interesting thing happened.

 "Dear Juno, you look tired." Arlo starts.

 "Exhausted," Javier adds, "I'm sure Lucanis would have no qualms about you resting your head on his shoulder. Rest, little bird, we will wake you when we reach the market."

 "Oh?" I look to Lucanis, who snaps his head down from the heavens, "Truly, Lucanis? Could I rest on your shoulder? I'm afraid I was up rather late last night."

 If it hadn't been for those words, I'm almost positive he would have said no-- much more contact with his body and I think we'd become one-- but I watched the guilt hit his eyes, and he simply gave a nod in response.

 If he opened his mouth now, would he be cursing? Or calling my name?

 It would've been too easy for him if I had just simply tilted my head down to lay on his shoulder, and I'm not feeling very generous today, so I choose to tilt my head up, burying the top of my head into his hair and letting my nose tuck into the curve of his neck, feeling his heart rate throttle against my skin. I laugh quietly, and his shoulders tense in response, a small wiggle, like he had goosebumps spread over his skin.

 "Thank you, this is nice," My lips lightly scrape over his neck, just barely and hardly visible to anyone else, "You make a comfortable pillow, Lucanis."

 "Yes, you've made that abundantly clear to everybody." I feel his fingers press a bit harder onto my legs, and I have to stop myself from squirming in his grasp.

 I'd have to thank Arlo and Javier later for whatever this was. In the sitting room, Arlo stopped me from flirting with Illario, but appear to be actively encouraging it with Lucanis. No drinking game was needed to see that Arlo and Javier had a favorite, and it wasn't Illario.

 It wasn't too surprising how heavy my eyes felt the moment I closed them. At this point, I was becoming desensitized to coffee, and I needed a hell of a lot of it to make up for an entire night without sleep. So when it became hard to focus, hard to hang onto anyone's voices anymore-- I think I might actually fall asleep in the gondola against Lucanis.

 But that thought is quickly jostled from my brain as the gondola rocks with sudden movement, pushing my body even more firmly against Lucanis and cementing my lips against his neck.

 In a panic, I use my legs to try and push myself back against the wall of the gondola, once again digging my feet into the meat of Illario's thigh, earning a pained groan. Lucanis brings a hand up to cover his eyes for a moment, taking a breath, and dragging the hand down his face.

 He decides in that moment that he's had enough, scooping me up into his arms and ducking as he pulls us both out of the gondola and onto the dock.

 Javier's shit eating grin is enough to tell me he basically leapt out of that gondola to make it rock in such a manner.

 Lucanis puts me on my feet and then reaches up to adjust his collar, his sleeves, his belt, his pants, his--

 Oh.

 Nice.

 Illario stumbles out of the gondola muttering under his breath and actively adjusting his clothes as well. Two for one deal. He looks to Javier with a wild gaze, "You did that on purpose."

 Javier brings his hand to his chest once more, feigning hurt, "Whatever do you mean?"

 "You rocked the boat!"

 "That's what happens when you get out of a boat, genius." Arlo brings a fist down atop Illario's head, digging his knuckles in. "Now let's spend less time whining and more time finding the nearest Helado vendor."

 Illario, Arlo and Javier start towards the market, the faint sound of a live band ringing through the air. Lucanis took a step to start after them, stopping himself after only one. He turned to look at me, his eyes more obviously tired in the sunlight. He sighs, reaching into the pocket on his vest and pulling out a small, folded piece of paper. He holds the paper out to me, pulling it from my grasp just as I go to read it, giving me a warning look, "Later," He tries, but I don't bend.

 "Now," I say, crossing my arms, "I waited long enough." Lucanis' tongue press against his cheek, and I can tell that was not the answer he was expecting, or the one he wanted. But as his eyes flick over my face, he shakes his head, though it appears to be mostly out of disbelief-- because he hands me the note anyways.

 He's quick to turn and start off after the others, and I'm quick to unfold the note in my hands. I'd have to read it before anyone else could see.

 Juno,

 You write like you're singing a ballad, with declarations so lubricious I find myself barely able to keep my head clear enough of you to write any response.

 You sent me home with chocolates, and I had anticipated I would get a letter when you wanted to invite me back over, but the letter delivered to me was so unexpected I fear I've had to reread it several times just to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

 You were not overtly forward, and yet I find myself embarrassed. You were not inviting me back over, and yet I feel inclined to find you. I fear that when I do see you again, my mind will fall back to your letter and I will be rendered entirely speechless. Will you be able to tell how hot my body burns when I recall the things you wrote? Will you be able to tell from my face how much I want to caress your skin in my hands?

 I fear you've made a mess of me, and I do not know how to collect all the pieces of myself you've unraveled. You say the Fifth Talon will bring harm to you if you get involved with me-- You seem to like to walk a little to close to the edge, Juno. Is that a risk you are willing to take?

 Because if that means I need to meet with you in secret, then I would do it, know that. There is no force known to man nor god that could keep my thoughts from drifting back to you, back to the sensation of your lips against my fingers, or from spending this night and many more to come reading over your letter and yearning for the same sweet moments despite the bitterness of when they end.

 I will live an eternity in that moment, Juno. I pray it's not our only one.

Lucanis.

Chapter Text

 My feet feel like they've been glued to the cobblestone. No, they feel like they're a part of the cobblestone. Like if I even tried to pull myself from this moment, I'd be stumbling over my own feet. As if the world itself grabbed me by the ankles to remind me that I am here, I'm not just up in the clouds somewhere dreaming this entire letter.

 No, this is real, and it's tangible, and I'm not alone in the sweeping waves of need that drown me every time we're together.

 And I don't know what to do with that knowlege.

 So I fold the letter up, tuck it into the pocket of my pants, and run to catch up with everyone-- because words are easier in letters, and letters can wait.

 What I can offer, and I do, is a smile to Lucanis as I pass him, our eyes meeting for only a moment before I latch on to Javier, my arms wrapping tightly around his. He will have to make do with that for now.

 "Tell me, baby bird, would you rather play a game potentially rigged against you, or gorge yourself until you can no longer walk?" Javier is happy to bend his elbow, allowing me to hang on while I walk beside him and Arlo.

 "Well," I purse my lips, "Something about how you worded that tells me I should select games first, and gorging myself after."

 "Precisely," Javier gives an approving nod, and Arlo gives a disapproving sigh.

 "The only person who gorges themself is you, Javier. The rest of us only have a small cup of helado,"

 "-- I still do not know what helado is." I interject, and Arlo stops, thoughtfully stroking his chin.

 "Might I propose then," Illario pipes up from behind us, "Arlo and Lucanis may go scout out helado and find us near the games booths once they have made a decision on whom to purchase from?"

 "An EXCELLENT proposal," Javier pats Arlo's bicep, giving it a small shake as he grinned up at him. "I prefer pistachio, see you soon!"

 Before Arlo could get an argument out, Javier is tugging me away from them, Illario walking with a renewed smile on his face beside us.

 "Now then," Javier tips his head towards me to make sure I can hear over the busy noises of the market, "The thing to know about these so called 'games' is that they are here to take your coin. So if the first thing you try doesn't work, forget everything you know about the scenario and take a moment to really look it over."

 "This sounds like throwing coin at something until it sticks," I remark, and Javier pats my hand proudly.

 "Precisely!"

 "Fret not, Juno, I'm quite accustomed to beating these games," Illario cracks his knuckles, looking over the various booths with wild colors in their displays, "You will not be leaving here without a prize."

 A prize?

 My eyes looked all about the booths, now seeing that the colorful displays around the edges I thought was just colorful to attract children, was in fact-- Various trinkets. Namely children's toys, stuffed animals, whittled instruments, music boxes, small things that didn't look to cost much to produce, but seemed all the more exciting because they would be won.

 Yeah. I needed to win something. I HAD to.
 

Javier pulls me to a booth, the display looking like it had a bunch of terracotta plates set up on stands, a 4 by 3 display. He releases my arm to pull some coin from his pouch and hand it to the vendor at the booth, recieving 5 leather wrapped balls in return.

 "Let's use those eyes, Juno, what do you see?" Javier asks, placing the balls onto the booth table in front of me. I look back up at the display, searching for something hidden that he obviously was alluding to.
 

"Plates, easily breakable... 12 in total. Straight lines, perfectly spaced apart..." I look to Javier, hoping I'm on to something, but his response shows I'm not.

 "Are they?" He raises an eyebrow at me. I tilt my head for a moment, leaning in. They LOOKED like they were?

 Okay, what did he say to do? Forget everything about what I've observed, start over.

 Let's try a different perspective.

 I place my hand on top of Javier's shoulder, propping myself as high up onto the points of my toes as I could, trying to view things a bit closer to his height. This was, after all, a game for children, so those of us who were more vertically challenged may be missing a vital clue.

 And there is was.

 When you looked straight on, it appeared as though the plates were all lined up perfectly, identical to one another-- but from above, you could see each plate was in fact varying in size, and simply placed closer or further back to look the same size as those around it. Some were tilted at various degrees, some appeared to have a lacquer painted on them.

 "They're all different," I say, falling off my toes, "Every single one. They just look alike."

 "Excellent eyes," Illario gives a hum of approval, patting my head. "Which means that if you try to hit them all at the same speed, some may break, some may bounce off-- your aim might be off, some plates are offcentered. So you throw as hard and fast as you can at the plates closest to you."

 Illario lifts a leather ball from the table, his eyes shifting over the display, before very clearly setting a target. He maintains complete focus as he reels his hand back, and I almost miss the throw altogether because of the absolute speed he pitches the projectile at the plate, only sure that he did it because the plate he had focused on shattered into pieces and fell from the display.

 He turns to me, a proud grin on his face, and reaches down to hand me the next ball.

 I pick up the ball, rolling it between my hands while I looked over the booth, trying to find a plate that didn't have any lacquer on it to harden over the terracotta. If you moved your body enough, you could see which plates had a slight sheen-- those were coated.

 Maybe I shouldn't be too proud, considering it's a game for children, but when the ball whipped out of my hand, slamming into the plate-- I took a little pride in watching it shatter. If nothing else, it shows I have impeccable aim, right?

 Javier grabs another ball, throwing it without hesitation and shattering one of the shinier plates, "Every game requires some subtle observations, but they aren't unbeatable." Illario reaches over for the final ball after Javier, zeroing in on another plate and throwing the ball with so much force it doesn't even recoil as it shatters the plate, simply going through it to slam into the wall of the booth.

 The vendor looks over the work, then gestures around him, instructing us to pick anything on display. Javier looks to me before imitating the gesture. I look over the booth, my eyes zeroing in on a shelf with small carved wooden objects on top. I point to a small trinket box, and as the vendor hands it over, I admire the carving on the lid. It was carved with a single flower, looking much like a bloomed rose. When I popped open the lid, not much bigger than the palm of my hand, a small melody started to play from within the box.

 If anything ever happened to this tiny little box, I would kill everyone in this market and then myself.

 I must've looked like a dazzled child, because Javier and Illario's voices plotting quickly filled my ears.

 "She needs more," Javier says.

 "Many more." Illario agrees, and they turn to venture to the next booth.

 It makes my heart pulse with an unfamiliar warmth. I guess, in traveling so much with my parents and only really keeping in contact with Kieran, there were parts of life that I never got to experience-- and what a loss that was, but how amazing it feels now. Connection. Friends. Compassion. It felt like everything I've already been through up until now was worth it, just for these tiny moments. How was I ever deserving of such wonderful people?

 Several booths later, with games involving tossing metal rings onto empty wine bottles (You need to stack your rings and toss them lightly, so they fall in a line and make a bridge to the desired lip of a bottle and sink into place) and testing your strength (purely how hard can you smack a target to launch a weight into the air) and many more, with pockets full of small trinkets, we were finally met by Arlo and Lucanis, with several tiny cups in their hands.

 "Didn't have enough hands," Arlo mentions, handing over a green container to Javier, "So Lucanis just got a bigger cup with two flavors."

 Lucanis hands over a smaller yellow cup to Illario, "The lemon, I assumed that's what you'd pick." Illario gives a delighted smile, taking the cup eargerly as Arlo handed everyone pieces of small sanded wood.

 "We assumed you'd like the chocolate," Arlo says, handing my my own small piece of wood. "Most people prefer the chocolate, Lucanis is the only one typically reaching for the coffee flavor."

 "What's wrong with coffee?" Lucanis looks down at the cup in his hands, frowning at the jests from Arlo.

 "It's meant to be dessert," Illario chuckles. "You know, something unusual from what you typically eat? Like a prize for your mouth."

 "Yours is citrus flavored, you always eat fruit." Lucanis counters, furrowing his brow.

 "Yes, but this is... Well, it's frozen, and has other things in it. Yours is just coffee and cream, frozen. You may as well be drinking cold coffee."

 "Yeah, I think you're losing this argument, Illario, I'm pretty sure Lucanis sees coffee as a dessert." Illario scoffs, using his wooden tool to pick up a scoop of his helado.

 "Here, try this, and see what I mean," Illario holds out the yellow substance to me, close to my lips. "Lemon is the superior flavor, it's refreshing, it's sweet and tart, as it's meant to be!"

 I'm not sure what it ever was about Illario that sent a chill down my spine when we met. It was evident now that he was just young and eager and excited, as I was. He liked meeting new people, he liked learning, and he loved to observe people for their reactions. We were more alike than I had thought back on the first day, and only now have I truly come to appreciate him.

 And his taste in sweets.

 He was absolutely correct, I thought, as I took the offered bite between my lips. The so called helado was ice-cold, but not at all the texture of shaved ice like I had seen back in Ferelden. This was soft, pillowy and creamy, but the flavor that lingered in my mouth was refreshing, light and addicting. My mouth felt lighter just for letting it linger on my tongue.

 "Oh gods, that's good," I moan, "Why on earth are these cups so small!? I could eat SO much of that!"

 "HA!" Javier whips his head to Arlo, "See? Juno gets it! Here little bird, try mine." Javier scoops out his helado, this one green in color, and offers me a bite.

 I'm much quicker to steal a bite from Javier.

 Interesting. If Illario's was sweet and tart and refreshing, this was more sweet and salty, an earthier flavor mixed into the cream, and the sweetness didn't seem to come from sugar alone-- honey, perhaps?

 Delicious all the same, but different.

 "Wow, it's hard to believe it's even made of the same things, it's completely different," I bounce on my toes, pleased with the feeling of my throat being cooled as the helado slides down. "I think I still prefer Illario's over yours though, Javie. I think I might struggle to eat more than a few bites of yours."

 Javier nudges Arlo, who looks to me then scoffs, "Absolutely not, she has her own," He pulls his cup of helado closer to his chest.

 Typical.

 I finally look to Lucanis, holding the cup we were to share due to 'lack of hands'.

 Sure, Arlo. Sure.

 There was a lighter scoop, and beneath it a much darker one, both brilliant shades of brown that reflected the respective flavors. I reach in with my little wooden stick, getting hit with the smell of chocolate as I brought a bite up to my face.

 I love how much chocolate is a staple in Treviso, truly. They did not make it like this back home, and it was in quite short supply in general.

 This must be exactly how Lucanis feels when he drinks a cup of coffee. I can't even help the way my eyes flutter closed, or the appreciative hum that purrs out of my throat. This wasn't just food, this was a healing experience. Chocolate and cream, cold and soft and rich without completely destroying the tastebuds. The lingering flavors of citrus and pistachio and honey melding with the way chocolate just coats everything it touches.

 "I think she likes it more than the games," I hear Arlo chuckle, and I peek open an eye with a smile. "Not that we were competing."

 "We weren't," Javier quips, "But for the record, she had a great time playing games. Illario and I won her several prizes."

 "I helped!" I add, dipping back into the helado.
 

Lucanis seems perturbed, and I can't help but raise a curious eyebrow at him. What was his deal? Was he upset that Illario won me a child's toy? 

He looks down to the cup, reaching in to scoop up not just the the lighter colored helado, but a scoop of chocolate as well. He brings it to my lips without a word, simply staring at my lips as they wrap around the wooden helado vessel gratefully.

 He didn't need to say anything.

 It was coffee, and it was chocolate, and it hit me like I was a terracotta plate on display, shattered to pieces the moment it clicked in my brain. It wasn't just his favorite and my favorite, it was ours, together. It was our moment back on the balcony during the training drill, it was his hands back on my lips, it was my letter to him when the sun went down.

 The sweetness of a moment followed by its bitter end.

 It's strange how my eyes never really want to leave his, how the curtain of his dark lashes hanging over his spice colored eyes always seemed to pull me in deeper. When he looks at me, I don't want to run from his gaze, quite the opposite. I never want it to fall anywhere else.

 Was he thinking of my letter right now? Was his body burning? Did he want to touch me?

 "We are all still right here, you know."

 Arlo's voice is always very grounding when I feel like I may drift away. I suppose I should learn to cling to that, considering I did resolve to not to let Lucanis be my weakness.

 That's going exceptionally well.

 "Sorry, I just discovered he was onto something," I play off the moment, "Chocolate and coffee do go quite well together, it's like coffee somehow manages to make chocolate taste even more like chocolate."

 "It's still not meant for dessert," Illario scoffs, letting the wooden stick hang from his lips. "I stand by that."

 Everyone continued to wander the market slowly, Lucanis and I staying close to share our helado cup. Javier and Arlo held Illario in a conversation about art, an apparent shared interest among the 3, about ten paces ahead of us. There's a comfortable silence between Lucanis and I, though my heart still chose to leap despite my protests.

 I fear that may continue until I have no heart left to protest with.

 "Would the young couple care to have their fortunes read?" A vendor calls as we nearly walk completely by, and I look back to the woman who spoke, admiring the deep blues and purples of her booth.

 "Alright," I look to Lucanis before shrugging and pulling some coin from my pouch, offering it to the woman fortune teller. I wasn't particularly superstitious, but Auntie Morrigan often read my mother's cards, and she always seemed to be particularly interested in the possibilities of the future. It was in my nature to be curious.

 The woman, an older elf with dark curls of hair and Mythal's markings on her face, shuffles a deck of tarot cards in her hands. She pulls three cards as she shuffles, placing the deck down to the side once she had chosen three.

 She flipped each card over, some facing towards me, and others facing towards her. "Three major arcana, you have a powerful story, and it has only just begun," She taps the first card, facing me and away from her. It looked like a woman with a wreath wrapped around her. "The world, reversed. This represents your past; You are drawing near to something that marks the end of a journey. You may have many accomplishments that have lined your path, but there is a strange emptiness that fills you when you look backwards upon it, as if you have all the pieces but they are not coming together," She reaches over to flip the next card, which appears to depict an angel playing a horn above people praying below "Judgement. This represents the present, you are in a time of reflection, learning from past mistakes and determining a path ahead. You are followed by purpose, always on the edges of your sight, but to move forward, you must look it in the eyes." She flips over the final card, "Temperence, the future. You will find the balance that leads to the greatest possible outcome, you have a clear vision and know what you want to achieve. Remain vigilant, focused, and unwavering and you will continue to succeed."

 It was a broad reading, I'm sure it had to be to make any coin, but it still felt empowering. It still felt like the words were important. I give her a smile, going to thank her, but she holds a hand up.

 "Heed these words, child : The longer you hang onto what was and do not move forward on your path with purpose, the longer it will take to achieve your goal."

 "Thanks," I say, a little haunted by her warning. "I'll keep that in mind."

 Lucanis looks to the tarot reader, then back to me as we start to walk off, "That sort of thing has always freaked me out a bit, I won't lie." He offers me the last bite of helado as we head towards the direction Arlo and the others wandered off in. "I mean, I don't read too much into them, but one time I got a reading and they told me something would be coming to cause stress and anxiety, and I watched one of the newer maids put coffee beans directly into a pot of boiling water later that same evening."

 When my eyes close this time, I can actually picture the shock and horror on his face. Would he be above reaching into boiling water to fish out coffee beans?

 My laugh catches him off guard, but he smiles at me nonetheless.

 "Yes well, thankfully there wasn't anything too distressing about that reading, so I think it'll all turn out okay. No boiled coffee beans in my future." I tease him, enjoying the way he slides his lower lip into his teeth to stop himself from smiling any wider.
 

That would be a favorite new memory for me.

 This whole day would. The calm before Matteo's return. The calm before the game starts. Just a happy moment in a market, where teens were just teens, not crows, and I could just let my heart fill without facing consequences.

 It would stay with me all night, comforting me before I settled down to bed, sending off my latest letter before diming the lanterns in my room and preparing myself for the long days ahead.

Lucanis,

I am forever grateful for the joy your presence brings to my tiny world. Every day I get to see you is a new favorite day, filled with endless moments I catalog to look back on when my world begins to feel too dark.

Whenever I feel as though I have some upperhand, you are there to twist my arm, our constant struggle seems more like a dance, with no clear leader. The moments you lead our steps, we fall into perfect harmony, like you were born to do this-- to make me fall apart at the seams.

When I lead, we somehow fall into chaos, rapidly spiraling and colliding into each other, leaving sparks in our wake, but every moment lights up my world.

You say I unravel you, but we unravel together, we are tangled, braided-- intertwined eternally.

I love our moments, our dance for dominance, and every bittersweet moment they bring.

I pray you found the lipstick smudge on your neck before anyone else did, I'm afraid I enjoyed staring at it too much today to tell you to wipe it off. Though, if you had asked nicely, I might have done it for you. I do so love feeling your heartbeat there.

Until we meet again, remember this day fondly.

Juno

Chapter Text

Kieran,

I received Auntie's care package the day after your letter. Please be sure to let her know how much I appreciate the clothes, herbs and tonics. When I close my eyes and hold the package, it smells like home. It's a much needed comfort today.

The Fifth Talon was gone for a few days, so the estate was quiet, it was peaceful, even. I learned so much in such a short time, and I have so much hope for the future.

I know this isn't what you were hoping to hear, but I do believe I will become an Antivan Crow, whatever it takes. I cannot do all the good this place needs, but it needs all the good I can do.

I think you would like Treviso, the market is always laden with bards and traveling troupes. It felt like Val-Royeux with less of the stuck up noses that come with it. And the weird masks.

I learned how to throw knives, which is apparently both a performance art and an important tactic in stealth combat. It's also a nice stress reliever.

I also got my fortune read with cards like Auntie does. It was pretty interesting, though not as decriptive as Auntie's. She simply cannot be outdone.

Miss you both.

All my love,

Juno

 The knock on my door was expected this time around. We all had a sneaking suspicion we'd be called to 'family dinner' again when Matteo came home.

 The biggest difference this time, is that when we filed into the dining room, Matteo was already sat at his spot at the head of the table. Compared to how the last few days had been, this felt like drowning before the tides even came in.

 Wine was poured, food was served, but no words were said right away. It took Arlo's bravery to finally have sounds return to the room.

 "Was your trip pleasant, father?"

 Does Matteo even know what that word meant?

 "Indeed," Matteo looks to his right at Leonardo, who's been obnoxiously quiet for someone who was usually obnoxiously loud. "I was able to witness Leonardo successfully lead a team in a contract to take down a merchant's guild."

 A guild? As in, the contract was for multiple people? He led a charge against an entire group?

 "And as such," Matteo turns his attention back to his plate, flaking off a piece of fish with his fork, "Leonardo has been promoted to Guildmaster for the Fifth Talon branch of Crows."

 Never has there been a silence so silent as this silence.

 Leonardo getting to take any charge means if he recruits us for anything, we're under his command. He could send any one of us to our deaths, if he so wished, and that included Viago.

 He was now the most powerful piece Matteo could use on the board.

 I would have to be the same for Viago, even if it meant disrespecting Leonardo.

 "I expect that you did your reading, Juno?" The Fifth Talon is quick to change the topic, pulling my attention to him.

 "I did. I read all the way through the book." I respond. Would he put that to the test? I'm sure I could answer whatever he threw at me anyways.

 "So you are aware of what one must do to be sworn in, then?"

 "Yes sir," I answer, placing down my cutlery. "One must select a contract, successfully take down their target, and deliver a trinket to their Talon as proof of completion. Then they make their oath."

 "And if you fail your contract?" He raises an eyebrow at me, his dark eyes seemingly more menacing than ever.

 "Contracts are completed, or your life is forfeit."

 He sits up a bit straighter in his chair, seemingly pleased by this answer.

 "Excellent, you studied well," He is praising me, but there's nothing satisfying about it. I just feel even more bitter. "And you, Viago, did you learn from your reading?"

 "Yes sir," Viago responds, choosing to focus on his food instead of the Talon.

 Matteo does not seem pleased to not have Viago's full attention.

 "Then perhaps you could tell me at what point a dose of deathroot poison becomes fatal for an elf?"

 Another silence. This one far more menacing.

 "I'm not asking for you to put into practice Viago, I am simply ensuring that you studied as you were told," Matteo places his cutlery down as well, looking over at Viago, who has yet to raise his head.

 Oh gods, he doesn't know the answer.

 His eyes are wide, and he looks like he may start sweating at any moment. He's afraid to say an answer in case it's wrong, which means getting it wrong is just as bad as saying nothing at all. Shit, why didn't Viago study?

 Was it because I kept having everyone over? I kept distracting him? Because we met as a chessboard on the final day, and then he needed to go find a new base of operations? He was so caught up in everything involving me he just never got around to reading?

I did this.

 "I see," Matteo interlocks his fingers, leaning his elbows on the table. "Now why would you lie to me, Viago? This is important work, I'm disappointed."

 Matteo sighs, looking to Leonardo, "Bring him to the shed, exercise the punishment you see fit."

 "Father--" Javier nearly launches out of his chair, Viago's panicked expression crinkles into agony. I didn't know what happened in the shed, but I couldn't let Leo get his hands on Viago, not with how twisted of a grin was on his face right now.

 "It's my fault," I interject, my voice drowning out Matteo trying to silence Javier. "I asked him to help me study, I took up too much of his time."

 "Juno-- No,--"

 "If anyone should be punished, it's me. I used his time selfishly, and I wont sit around looking better than him knowing I dragged him down." Viago grabs at my arm.

 "She is lyin--"

 "I appreciate the honesty," Matteo interrupts, eyeing over Viago who immediately shuts his mouth. "It is quite unlike Viago to fall behind, I see now that he was assisting you. That does not make his failure acceptable, however." Matteo looks to Leo, who looks irritated by my interruption. "While you are living under my roof, you follow orders. Since you feel you should be punished in Viago's place, I shall give you his punishment."

 "Father!" Javier interjects, "She is too young to be put in the shed, surely you can see that?"

 "Since you two seem so keen to disobey and speak out against me directly," Matteo looks from Javier to Viago. "You will be in charge of creating and administering poisons," He looks to Viago, "You better hope your knowledge doesn't fail you this time, because her blood will be on your hands."

 Viago's breathing gives every sign that he's upset, but he dares not speak again.

 "Viago will be in the lab until he has created the proper dosage of 3 vials deathroot poisons for Juno. And Juno will be in the shed until she has received all three doses. Arlo, you will watch over Viago. Javier, you will be administering the doses."

 Poisons I could handle, I mean, I had been already-- granted, I had antidotes then, but surely Viago could get it right this time?

 But... In the shed until he does? How long would that be?

 "I accept the punishment," I speak up, much to the dismay of Javier, Arlo and Viago. "However, might I ask that I deliver Viago's books to the lab before Leo brings me to the shed? I'd prefer to not die the first night."

 Matteo contemplates this, before chuckling once at my statement, likely at Viago's expense, and waving his hand dismissively, "Go, deliver it to the lab and meet Leo in the foyer."

 I gave a short nod, refusing to meet Viago's burning gaze as I stood from my chair and left the dining room.

 I'm sorry, Viago. I can't let Leo hurt you, and I know he will try to. We just barely started the game and the odds are so stacked against us. I wont let them win.

 The truth was, Viago's book was not in my room at all. I just had no faith that my stuff wouldn't be snooped in while I was away, and I don't need anyone finding Lucanis' letter in my box, regardless of poison-- I don't know how long I'm going to be in this shed, but something tells me Leo would be unparalyzed before I could stop him from revealing my secrets.

 So along with some prop books, namely the ones given to me to study crow history, I also grabbed the chest from my dresser. I ripped my necklace off my neck, the hidden key to the chest, my bird whistle, and the corner of a sheet of parchment.

 Don't let them touch my bird. I will be ok.

 I stuff the paper along with my key and whistle into the pages of the heavier book, hurrying to bring everything to the lab. I wasn't hurrying because I was eager to face whatever hell this punishment was going to be, but I was hurrying to make sure Leo didn't come looking for me.

 When I met him in the foyer, he seemed twice as pissed as he had at the table.

 "Brave little bird," He mocked me, opening the door to the yard, "Taking on punishments because Viago isn't man enough to do it himself. Father might let that shit fly, but if it were up to me, you'd both be in the damn shed tonight. Him for fucking up and you for trying to rescue him." He pushes me out the front door, leading me to a small wooden shack at the corner of the property, relatively face away from the main house but still visible out past the gardens. "At least I can take pleasure in knowing Viago will be sweating bullets," Leo pulls open the door to the shed, which actually just sort of looks like a normal shed, though there was quite a number of tools mounted to the walls. "Viago would sooner willingly poison himself than you. How cute it is that the orphans care so much for each other."

 "Cuter that your father seems to care for us more in general," I counter, giving him a bored look despite my insides raging. As if ANY of us want to be here.

 Leonardo lets out a laugh, clearly irritated as he rolls his jaw back and forth, "Just remember, when you're stuck out here, cold and miserable-- that you did this to yourself, for him." Leo grabs some rope from the wall, and I am just now seeing that the things I thought were simply tools has a wire variety of knives included.

 And I suddenly understand why the shed was so alarming to the boys.

 "Drop your knives on the table," Leonardo nods to the mounted counter attached to the wall, and lets out an exasperated huff when I hesitate, "You'll get them back, they wont leave the shed. You're being punished, but I'm not fucking robbing you."

 I cautiously unclip the holster on my leg, placing my mage knife onto the counter. Leo gives an expectant stare "Any others?" He asks, and I feel around my pockets, realizing I did in fact still have a throwing knife in my jacket pocket. I place the second knife on the counter and look back to the older man.

 "That's all of them," Leo clicks his tongue, nodding to the chair. I take a seat as he approaches.

 It felt pointless to fight this. If I fought back, would he put Viago in here? Javier? If all I was doing was being poisoned to the brink, then so be it. I can hallucinate in a shed for however long it takes.

 "Now, I was instructed that I couldn't leave any disfiguring scars," Leo chuckles and he brings my arms around to the back of the chair and ties them together tightly. "So I guess we'll just stick to the smaller knives." He bends down and similarly ties my ankles together.

 Knives?

 "What do mean, knives?" I ask, trying to turn my head to see what he was clattering with behind me, but my arms were actually pushed so tightly against the back of the chair that I couldn't crane my head to see. "I thought I was being poisoned."

 "Oh Juno," Leo says, sickeningly empathetic, "You being poisoned is Viago's punishment," He comes around to the front of me, my own throwing knife in his hand. "The shed is yours." Leo flicks the blade of my knife, a satisfying 'ping' resonating through the metal.

 Fuck.

 "I imagine you're going to be the new honeypot when you get sworn in," Leo slides my knife down my arm, not cutting me open but still giving me the looming threat. "Explains why he doesn't want scars visible anywhere important." Leo looks over my body, like he's marking targets on my skin. "Thank goodness anatomy is such an important topic to cover in the manuals," Leo drags the knife over my torso, across my stomach, and to my thigh. "I know just where to hit that hurts."

 I don't even have time to react.

 He brings my knife into my thigh, holding it down while he listens to my scream.

 Scream? Howl? Shriek?

 I don't know what came out of me, but it almost didn't sound real.

 "Oh yeah," Leo chuckles, "That will get me through the night." He stands, leaving my knife driven into my thigh. "I think there's a lesson for you to learn here; an important one. If you choose Viago, if you support him in line for succession, well--" He nods to the back wall, "I've got plenty more knives."

 I can barely hear him over my hyperventilating, but he leans down one last time, grabbing me by the chin and dragging my face to his ear, "Sleep well, little bird. I'm sure I'll be here before Viago can make a dose of that poison, and we can have more fun in the morning."

 And then he leaves the shed. I can hear a lock click in place.

 And there's still a fucking knife in my leg.

 If I squirm, I can feel it cutting at the edges. If I hold still, it's all I can focus on. There is blood on my pants and seeping out more and more by the minute.

 I try to focus instead on the other sensations, the sweat forming between my shoulder blades, my teeth biting hard into my cheek, the pain of the rope rubbing against my wrists-- but it's still there. It's impossible to ignore.

 There is a piece of me stabbed open with a knife in it, and I cant even pull out the knife.

 And the only thing that stopped that knife from cutting open my face was the sheer fact that I'm going to be used as a honeypot.

 Gods, I fucking hate the Fifth Talon.

 I try to level out my breathing, a new sensation, anything but focusing on the knife-- but it always comes back to the knife. While there is still blood actively seeping out and dripping down my thigh, it will be the only sensation my brain can fixate on.

 What good were these methods in the Crows? Why is this discipline? How many sooner take death over this?

 My vision was blurring at the edges. This wasn't even poison, this was just pain.

 I have no idea how long it's been since Leo walked out, I'm not even sure if I've passed out in small doses, anything felt possible. At some point the night grew eeriely quiet, only occasional crickets to fill the silence.

 Did Papa go through this when he was recruited to the Eighth Talon's house? Was he stabbed when he joined Mama in taking down the archdemon? Was Mama ever stabbed, for that matter? Surely, she must have been, if not by human than by some manner of darkspawn. Was there any way to view this as some fucked up rite of passage?

 Kieran would be so pissed if he knew.

 Kieran... I hope Viago is able to retrieve my letters from my bird. I know there's a window in the lab. Will he be too focused to do so?

 He must be driving himself mad in there.

 Viago and I were much the same, we cared too much. I'm sure he's cursing me down to the deepest part of the deep roads right now, but it brings some relief knowing he's not in here. I imagine he'd have more than just one wound if he was.

 Was this how life would change with Leonardo becoming Guildmaster? Would we need to be perfect by Matteo's standard or else face punishment?

 If this was punishment for not studying, what was punishment for speaking against him? What was punishment for real failure?

 There was no light in the shed besides whatever moonlight could peak in through the cracks in the wood, up until the sun began to rise and the sounds of birds filled the air.

 Had I slept at all? I couldn't even tell, I certainly wasn't actively trying to, but blood loss is a funny thing, it has a way of creeping up on you.

 I was only startled completely awake when the sounds of the lock turning rattled my brain. I steadied myself, only to face surprise when instead of Leo walking in, Javier entered the shed.

 "Juno," His eyes widened as he looked down to my leg "Maker, your leg!" Javier fell to his knees before me.

 "Leave it," Arlo's voice came from the doorway, trailing in behind Javier. "It'll just bleed more if you pull it out anyways, and we both know you aren't allowed to do first aid. That has clotted for now. Don't make her bleed out."

 "Has this been here all night?" Javier asks, and I feel a small sarcastic laugh come out of my lips.

"No, that's where I've always kept it."

 "I cannot believe you are cracking jokes right now," Javier is mad, but not mad enough to smack me. "You've got a knife sticking out of your leg, and I'm expected to dose you with poison? This is actually insane."

 "Is that the knife I bought you?" Arlo furrows his brow "Man, Leo is such a dick."

 "I'll still use it to slit his fucking throat," I give Arlo my best smile, though I'm positive it looks absolutely unhinged given my current state.

 "Damn right you will," Arlo gives a nod. "Three doses. You just have to make it through three doses, and then you're done."

 "We've only got one done so far, but if we start you now, we're hoping we can get you through it quickly," Javier pulls a syringe and vial off of a tray he carried in. "And don't worry, I helped Viago look over his notes. This shouldn't be enough to kill you."

 "Shouldn't be or isn't?"

 "Juno, please," Javier sighs, digging the needle into the vile, "You're a very skinny elf and we were doing our best. Just be grateful this is deathroot and not a vandal aria poison, you'll hallucinate like crazy, but at least the poison wont burn."

 "Might make you itchy," Arlo adds, and I roll my head over to glare at him. "Still could be worse!"

 "I can't move my fucking hands Arlo, don't make me think about being itchy."

 "I know you're in pain Juno, I'm sorry," I can tell Javier thinks about placing a hand on my thigh to try and comfort me, but stops himself. "When you get out of this, I will buy you as much chocolate as you need."

 Maybe that was enough to get me through this. Maybe.

 "Just get it over with," I look to Javier, who is still clearly distressed but knows I'm not wrong. The sooner I get these doses, the quicker I can get out of here and the quicker I can get my leg stitched up. Gods, would it get infected at this rate? "Do not tell

Viago about the knife, he needs to stay focused."

 Javier is fighting back tears as he brings the needle to my skin, muttering another apology as he injects me with the first dose of Deathroot poison. It doesn't feel like much at all, if anything, it just feels cold, like ice water in my vein.

 "Matteo has instructed no more than 1 dose per 12 hours," Javier removes the syringe and puts pressure on my arm to stop any bleeding. "I imagine that's because the dosage becomes lethal if it's given too soon. All well and good anyways, because boiling down the deathroot takes hours as is." He lifts his finger to make sure I'm not bleeding, placing the syringe down on the tray before leaving it on the counter, I imagine as proof of the dosage to Leo. "Ideally, we have you out of here by tomorrow at the latest, though I have no idea if that would be early morning or later in the evening, depending on how fast Viago can craft these potions."

 "Make sure he rests," I look to Arlo with this request, knowing he's more likely to make Viago slow down than Javier is. "If he doesn't sleep, he's more likely to slip up. At least two hours, if nothing else."

 "You think I can convince Viago to do anything?" Arlo raises an eyebrow at me.

 "He certainly can't," I nod to Javier. "Tell him I asked him to. Tell him it's my one demand."

 "Anything else?"

 I close my eyes, feeling my head start to fog. The poison was kicking in.

 "Tell him I'm sorry."

Chapter Text

Waiting is exhausting.

And that's not just because it feels like endless nothing, it's because your brain tries to fill that endless nothing with whatever it can, despite whether it makes the waiting better or worse.

Every noise can be analyzed, every sweat drop rolling down my forehead can be followed with imaginary lines, connecting over my skin like lightning strikes. Deathroot did, in fact, itch. Like the sensation you get when you finally realize a mosquito has been drinking from your veins, but you can't lift your hand up to slap it away.

It takes all my brain power to continuously rub my tongue to the roof of my mouth, trying to soothe the itch away with tiny distractions. The only positive was it finally made me not feel my leg, though I'm unsure if that's the poison, the distraction, or the pants stuck to my thigh from the dried blood and sweat. If I come out of this with green skin, I'll make sure to cut it off and mount it on Matteo's bedroom wall.

I’m just angry.

Unbelievably angry.

Not so much that I'm stuck in this situation-- but the fact that everyone in the Fifth Talon house knew exactly what being 'put in the shed' meant, meaning all of them had been here . Meaning every single one of them was brought here to be a personal knife block.

Matteo, and maybe Leo, had hurt my boys, all of them.

And I would make them pay for that someday.

When Leo returned, I was still in the throes of deathroot poison hallucinations. I could focus enough on his shape to see him bending over to get close to my face.

"You look like hell," He chuckles. "I want you here for this, so time for a wake up."

His words were just words until he stood straight up, and I felt the slap of water drench my body, ice cold and plentiful.

My vision snapped back, and I could see his smug look once more, though I much prefer not to.

"Fuck you," I laugh bitterly, tipping my head back in the chair. I was so tired. So unbelievably tired. And now I was wet and cold, and the only relief came with feeling the water drip down my spine and wash away some of the sweat. "It was so much better when I couldn't see your face."

"I wouldn't want you passing out before I got to have any fun," Leonardo throws the bucket in his hands to the ground, looking down the knife in my thigh. "What a good girl you are, keeping our little trinket right where I left it. Obedience will get you far, you know."

He presses down on the handle of my throwing knife, ripping a pained groan from my throat, fighting against the teeth I was gritting trying to hold back from giving him a reaction. What the hell happened to this guy to make him like this? Was he just born like this? Could anyone just be this way from birth, or was he a victim of his circumstances like the rest of us? If we all stayed here, under Matteo's thumb, would we all turn out this way?

No.

No, I wouldn't let myself fall that low.

"Now," Leo rises, his footsteps shuffling back to the shelf. "Should we keep this little collection going?" I hear metal scraping against metal, "Really such a shame you're so small, I feel like I never get to use the big knives unless it's Arlo in the chair."

Arlo?

"He's not so tough when there's a knife in his ribs, you know?" Leo chuckles, swinging back into eyesight. If I could punch his eyes out of their sockets to get revenge for whatever shit he put Arlo through, I’d do it. "Oh, wipe that look off your face. Everyone who has been in here has earned it, one way or another," Leo reaches down, sweeping some dripping hair from my face. I snap at his fingers with my teeth, not quite catching his fingers. "You know, you're a pain in my ass. Here I am, trying to help you, and you just keep getting more insufferable."

"You put a knife in. my. leg."

"And I'd do it again," Leo brings his fingers up, placing them around my throat but not squeezing down enough to choke me. "The sooner you learn your place, the easier this gets. Give in, and maybe I'll cut you some slack, I could be generous."

If the way Lucanis looked at me felt like a predator and prey, then this was more like how a reaper looked at a lost soul. This was the moment before the final strike to deal a killing blow.

It really is such a shame I'm a giant pain in the ass.

"Is that what you did, you gave in?" The familiar sweat comes creeping back in, despite the chills from the ice water still lingering on my skin. "Let the Talon turn you into a beast he can bend and break?"

"I was a beast before he ever asked it of me," Leo's amusement fell from his face, now bored of words and wanting only to bring his reckoning upon me. "Last chance, Juno. You can support my climb to Fifth Talon, or you can struggle in the pits with the rest of this house."

Leo brings his new knife of choice up to my lip, slicing open a slit slowly in my lower lip. It burned, but it was nothing compared to everything else. He was nothing. I wouldn't let him become anything, especially the next talon.

"Give me a shovel, I'll dig the pit myself." I pull my lip into my mouth, sucking hard to dry blood, before spitting it towards Leo. It lands, rather satisfyingly, square onto his chest, past the gap in the open buttons of his shirt.

I could see his jaw lock, break its stuck position, and snap close all in a second's time.

"Have it your way." He's dragging the newer, smaller knife down my body much in the same way he did with the first. It makes my leg twitch and recoil in fear, not ready for another round of pain. For a moment, I think I'm saved, because he doesn't push the knife into the same wound.

"Tendon," Leo drags the knife to the right, stopping a few inches past my first wound "Muscle."

And his arm is drawn up and back down once more, a new knife driven into my thigh. My cries are strangled, trying so hard to hold it in but at some point, you can't fight it anymore.

"Louder, make sure he can hear you. I opened the lab window myself before coming down. I want him to hear you cry ," Much to my dismay, he twists the handle sideways, changing the slit sized wound to a circular stab wound peeled open further. "Maybe Viago will work a little faster for you if he can hear how bad it hurts."

Now I really needed to reign it in. I could not afford to have Viago distracted.

It came out as sharp breathes, whining between each, not enough to travel through the air but enough that Leo could hear, which was frustrating.

"I will ruin you," I manage to choke out.

"I'd like to see you try," Leonardo leaves another handle jutting out of my leg, dropping down low to see the wounded skin up close before rising to his feet. "You wouldn't last a day in the field. You won't make it past intel."

"Try me," I spit back. If I keep talking, I can not focus on my leg. "I'll rise higher than you, faster than you , with ease ." Leo collects his bucket from the floor, "I just have to make it to Guildmaster before 25, right? Easy."

I can see this strikes a nerve with him, by the rolling of his shoulder as he looks back to me, "You won't even get your oath in."

He's gone again, the sound of the lock of the door clicking into place.

And I can finally let out the groans of pain that had been shaking their way up and out of my throat.

Fuck. All that is holy, holy fuck . One was bad, one healed over was manageable-- Two was unbearable. Two was a nightmare. Two was having your pants nailed to the chair, like you couldn't lift your leg even if you tried.

It was sobering enough to pull me from the poisons once more. I wasn't sure I'd slip back into it this time. Did hours pass? Was it just minutes? How could you tell the time in here, apart from whether or not there was any sunlight creeping in between the wooden slats of the roof?

The second time the door opened, it was Javier again. I thought for sure it was still day, but the blue light of the moon creeping in the door was unmistakable.I had lost time again altogether.

"Juno," Javier gets a glimpse of my legs, winces, and then cannot bring his face to it again. "I hate this." He says, his voice shakes in his throat.

"Get it over with," It comes out from my lips like I'm drunk, like this is just another shot in the shit show of my life. "The sooner the better, I don't want to regain feeling in my leg."

"If I look at your leg, I might actually hurl," Javier turns all the way around, holding the tray with the needle and vial to one side, while holding his head to the other.

"Then throw up and get it over with," I groan, my hands balling into first behind my back. "How is it that you've all experienced this shed enough to know what happens in here, but can't bear to see what happens to me in it?"

"Because it's YOU, Juno," Javier snaps, his head turning but not completely looking over at me. "I cannot handle seeing it happen to you."

"That's pretty weak, Javie," I chuckle, leaning my head on my shoulder to look at him. "I put myself here, you know."

"And for WHAT ?" He finally turns to face me, and it's an expression I've never seen him wear before. He's mad. He's actually mad. "So that Viago wouldn't have to go toe to toe with Leo? You don't think he's learned to handle that by now?"

"You know who hasn't learned to handle it? ME," I strain against the ropes on my wrists, wincing as the pain in my leg shifts and bolts up my entire sciatic nerve. "I have nothing to go off, no frame of reference at all. So yeah, out of everyone who could be in here, I make the most sense."

"That's enough." Arlo's voice is not nearly as emotional. It's definitive. It's the end of an argument. "Juno, putting yourself at risk for Viago's sake was rash and reckless. He doesn't approve, and neither do we," Arlo scoops the vial and needle off the tray Javier holds, kneeling down before me with an unshakable nerve. "You're right that you haven't learned to handle it, you're trying to swing full speed into something that took us years to get accustomed to. You're not supposed to learn your limit in a single night, and yet you're sitting here trying to push it."

I remain quiet as Arlo hurriedly plunges another needle into my arm, dosing the second vial of deathroot poison. "I am trying my best to give you the respect you're asking for, but it's hard to cultivate any when you choose to sit and act like a defiant child. You acted against Viago's wishes, you took on a punishment meant for him, and you put yourself into a compromised position when we just barely brought you into the game. If you asked Viago, nothing you did is deserving of respect," Arlo holds his thumb tightly over the curve of my elbow, stopping any poison from leaking out of the injection site, a distinct trait of a crow who was used to years and years of self dosing. "I can't give Viago everything he wants, I can't help but admire your courage, but I cannot compliment you if you continue to act so reckless . You aren't deserving of praise if you act like a woman on fire."

My head pulses with his words. Sure, I'm positive Viago didn't want me here and sure , he would do anything he could to get me out as fast as possible-- I get it. Lecture me. But did I deserve it? Truly?

I don't think so.

"You've got one more dose," Arlo whispers, pulling his hand from my elbow and rubbing small circles around the wound to try to disperse the seeping blood, "One more dose to sit through the side effects of and then you're out-- Please, please just pull through. No more pissing anyone off, no more jumping into the frey-- just accept fate and let it run its course. The game isn't in here, it's out there, and we need you."

"One more dose." I repeat, and Arlo pats my arm one final time, placing a kiss over the bruise in my elbow and rising to his feet. 

"Almost done, little bird, hang in there."

My head is so heavy as he leaves. so heavy as the lock clicks close. Is it the lack of sleep? The poison? The adrenaline crash?

It could be everything.

It's harder at night, when the bird songs are gone and there's no lingering sounds of the city in the air. It's just quiet, dreadfully, painfully quiet.

I've never been much good at sitting in silence.

The third time the door opens, it's a relief. No more silence, something to free me from the real torture-- the quiet. The thoughts.

But then I see who it is, and it's clear that it's all in my head.

"Juno," His voice is almost foreign now, but it hasn't even been that long. "It's time to get up."

"You're not real," I shut my eyes tight, dropping my head as low as I can manage so I don't have to look. This wasn't real.

"And how do you know that, princess?"

It squeezes the parts of my heart I didn't know were still hurting.

"Because if you showed up when I needed you, you would've been here already," I decided to spare a glance at the familiar bronze eyes, my eyes betraying me by filling with tears. "And you would never wear something so boring."

"You wound me," His hand reaches out to my cheek, and I feel it, and it's warm and it's so SO real, "Why not get out of those ropes and give Papa a hug?"

But it's not real enough.

A second glance at the door shows it's closed. Still locked in place. I was still with it enough to see that much.

"If I get out of these ropes, I will be in twice as much trouble as I already am," I respond, leaning back in the chair, choosing to face my hallucination head on. "And if you were really Papa, you would've had me out of them by now."

"Must you overcomplicate this? Can you not just be glad to see me?" This hallucination, this thing wearing my father's face, had a convincing tap into my memories, because the way it could reflect my father's disappointed face was absolutely spot on. "I did come to help, you know."

"Then help," I shrug, "It doesn't change the truth."

"What exactly are you afraid of? Are you afraid that someone could possibly care enough to get you out of here?"

"I'm not afraid of shit--"

"You are.” His arms cross, and I feel like a little kid all over again. I'm 5 and Papa's upset I stole something from the market when we have plenty of coin, I'm 10 and he's upset I pushed Kieran over when I was arguing with him, I'm 13 and he's upset I tried to hide that I couldn’t control my magic from him and Mama because I was scared--- Every time. Every time I was scared. I was scared that they were spending all their coin when Mama could no longer fight the same as she used to, I was scared of the old god inside Kieran and I was scared that Mama and Papa wouldn't want me anymore when I couldn't use a regular staff to channel my magic. I was scared of Papa. I was scared of his disappointment in me.

I was scared of everyone's disappointment in me.

Even my own.

"Being scared is not a weakness, Juno," Papa leans down, placing his hand on my head. My mind is filled with leather, campfire smoke, hearty stews and spiced brandy. Even my nose betrays the truth. "Being scared simply means you understand the worst possible outcome. So if you know what the worst thing is that can happen, you should be able to figure out how to avoid it."

"No," I shake my head, pulling the traitorous hand from my scalp. "I need to stay here. I'm almost done, I'm almost free."

"You are dying ," His fingers graze over the knives on my legs. "You are losing blood, you are filled with a poison that your body is too busy fighting off to work on healing anything else. You will bleed out before you're able to take anymore."

I choose to look at my leg, for the first time in who knows how long. It's worse than I remember. No wonder Javier almost threw up.

My entire pant leg was a mix of dark dried blood stains and wet shiny new ones. In tensing at the sight, I can see blood still pooling out of the newer wound, and there's the slightest bit of new blood bubbling up out of the old one.

Looking at it brings back the pain.

"So what is this," I wince, willing some bile back down my esophagus. "Are you my brain trying to come up with a plan? Is that what happens now, we just rely on someone else to get us out of our messes?"

"I am not you, or your brain," He hesitates, "Nor am I your father , I am sorry for that."

"I gathered that," My vision pulses as my head throbs, was it dehydration? The blood loss? "So if you aren't me, who are you?"

The image waver in front of me, glowing, shifting. Then its form is shapeless, before it settles on what looks almost like a floating rib cage, but more bird-like than that, a glowing spine with outreaching limbs that flexed like wings.

"Oh shit," I yank on the robes binding my hands together. I was so close to death I was attracting spirits, now? That woke me up.

"Fear not," It says, though it has no mouth to speak from. Is it a man? A woman? Could it be either? I couldn't tell. "I only came to remind you that you are bigger than this, that your soul has much more to do, and that you must get out of here and get help."

"So you aren't here to possess me and use my magic to blow up a church? Because that's apparently a real concern people have to consider." Pushing back against the ropes on my wrists, I feel the jute cord in the braid carving and peeling back skin.

"Justice had no business going to a place where injustice ruled, nor did he have any business taking that mage's body for his own," The glowing blue light of the spirit lit up every dark crevice of the shed. It was pretty, in an eerie way, such an ethereal blue. "Justice and I are not the same."

"Then which one are you?" I reach up, scratching at the ropes with the nail of my middle finger. There was no way to bust this open. "Despair?"

"Purpose."

Purpose.

'Heed these words, child : The longer you hang onto what was and do not move forward on your path with purpose, the longer it will take to achieve your goal.'

Here I was thinking I just needed to steel my resolve.

Could the real truth really be so literal?

"Have you been watching me?" I ask, and there's no voice echoing through the shed in response. "Have you been watching me sleep? Following me?"

"I apologize," No way, "I tried to remain out of sight, but you are very in tune with the fade."

"Yeah, I've heard that before," I scoff, this still didn't feel real.

'You are followed by purpose, always on the edges of your sight, but to move forward, you must look it in the eyes.'

Was this really the best decision? Was I opening myself up for possession if I listened, if I interacted? It says it's not here for that, but what else?

"You are yearning for bigger things," It responds "I can hear your heart sing. You have much to accomplish, much to live for. I do not wish to see you die here."

"So what exactly was your plan, then? Taunt me with my father until I tried to kill you? Or were you actually planning on telling me how to get out of this?"

"I have no plan," it responds, "But I hear your deepest thoughts, the ones your mind hides and your heart echoes. You always think of something."

"So you came here to help me, to tell me to think of something?"

"Sometimes you may need a reminder."

.

.

.

Thanks. I guess.

"Still didn't need to bring my dad into this," I grumble, tugging at the ropes behind my back again. "I've got enough open wounds."

"You are quite motivated by your father, I thought his shape may help."

"Yeah? And his cologne?"

"That was simply your memories I was pulling from, they can evoke senses when I grasp on to them"

"Yeah, well, knock that off," I look down at my legs again, trying to assess the rope situation on my ankles. "I'd probably let myself die if he ever saw me in this state. Not exactly the motivator you thought it would be."

"You felt your fear," Man, what is this things deal ? I don't need to be read so hard . "That was a motivator you needed. You push down fear instead of looking it in the eyes before."

Those words again. Weird.

"Yeah, well, if I ever get out of here I'll probably have to do it a lot more," I cock my head to the side, trying to figure out if there was any way to dislocate my wrist to get it out of these bindings. "If the Talon doesn't kill me on the spot, I'll need an upperhand."

"You have magic," The spirit says it likes it's that simple. "He does not."

Magic.

It was... well, it was difficult without my knife there to contain the mana, but I could still use it. I used to be unable to control my magic altogether, that's why Mama had Auntie Morrigan train me in the first place, because even Mama didn't understand how to reign it in. Without the knife touching me, without it on my thigh or in my hands, it was risky.

But. Surely it couldn't still be THAT bad?

"You should get out," I look back to the spirit floating before me. Purpose, huh? Fine. Move forward on my path with Purpose. I can do that. "This could go really wrong and I don't want you hurt."

Watching the spirit float off and fade through the door, I took a deep breath. It was time to face a whole lot of fears, all at once. Did I have a plan?

Barely.

Even if I get out of these ropes, there's still two knives in my legs, and Viago and Javier and I are all still technically being punished. If I try to get these wounds cleaned and stitched up before I get the chance to see Matteo, he might be more pissed.

I'd have to see him first.

And what do I even say?

Negotiate? ' Hey, I was dying, so I got out to get help '.

No, he'd blame Viago. He'd blame the poison. So what does that leave me with?

Mythal'enaste, I don't know!

... What would Papa do?

Well.

I know what Papa would do, but he's stronger than me, and he's never been one to care about consequences. This time there's stakes. Viago has not been declared Matteo's successor. So Papa's answer-- killing him-- that's not an option.

But maybe I don't need to be Papa. Maybe... I just need to remind him of Papa, like Viago said.

"Good enough," I take one more deep breath, channeling my mana into a stream like Auntie used to have me do. I channel it from my core up my torso, down my arms, to my fingertips. Any magic would do, ice, storms, necrosis-- Honestly, if it got these ropes off, it was enough.

I stare at the floor, trying to focus on the feeling in my fingertips, trying to focus on the rope-- but it goes wrong, of course it does. A circle begins to form on the floor, red, glowing.

Fire magic.

And not just small fire magic, a pyre. And here I was, at the center.

The flames are high immediately, bursting from the ground as if demons had torn their way to the surface. It's hot, bright, and it hurts to keep my eyes open.

But it still works.

I use my toes to tip the chair back enough to dip my hands into the flames, feeling the dry jute rope catch instantly, and I'm quick to rip it from my wrists and let the chair fall back into place. Ankles free, just in time. The roof of the shed catches fire above me.

I raise up, determined to fight off the dizziness of my weak state, and grab my mage knife, directing it at the wooden door and blasting it away with my lightning magic.

I make it through the door and turn to watch the roof of the shed cave in, embers fluttering up into the air like fireflies.

A poetically beautiful end to such a fucking tragic space.

Now. There's no turning back .

You'd think, with two knives in my leg, my steps would be heavy, that they'd betray me altogether and let everyone hear there was a ghost creeping though the halls. But even this damaged, Leo truly didn't account for just how small I could be. No fancy silver lined boots clicking as I walk, just me and my footwraps, holstered mage knife on my leg, slinking through the halls and up the stairs, all the way to the master bedroom.

You want to make me a weapon? A little elven lure for the crows to catch their prey? Then you'll be first.

Even the doorknob to his bedroom is silent as I slip inside the room.

If you had asked me a week ago whether I thought Matteo De Riva slept, I'd sooner argue he was possessed and stayed up at night scaring children and lurking in shadows. But I've learned some things about Matteo recently that changed that. Matteo De Riva was inarguably human; and to try to compare him to the monsters in the night made him seem untouchable.

Matteo was not untouchable.

Especially not while he slept.

He didn't stir at first, when I climbed onto the bed, placing my knees on either side of his sleeping form. He didn't stir as I stared, running through the scenes in my head-- choking him, stabbing him, clawing my way into his chest to rip his heart out with my bare hands.

No.

Matteo didn't wake up until I gently placed a hand on his pillow, directly beside his head.

"Juno," You would think he'd stir instantly, push me off, throw me to the ground. But much more curious than that, he remained deathly still. "Which one of them let you out?"

Oh. How delightful. He thinks I got help.

I can’t help the teeth that poke out from behind my lips, "I burnt that shed to the ground, all by myself." I lean forward, wishing I could get a painting of the look on Matteo's face. It was everything. "I'm done being punished."

"That's not for you to decide." Matteo narrows his eyes at me, his hands finding their way to my waist, trying to gain some control of the situation. "You're not in charge here, Juno."

I wasn't?

I rip the smaller knife from my leg in an instant, watching Matteo flinch as I stab it into the pillow next to his head, not quite touching him, but not enough to make it seem like I wouldn't.

"I said: I'm. Done. " His hands grip tighter on my hips, his eyes are wider and wild. He was scared. Scared of me. "You want me to be a crow? Fine. You want me to be your little honeypot? Absolutely. Make me a weapon -- but letting Leonardo follow me around? Spy on me? Leave me with knives sticking out of my fucking leg? Stops. Now." I hold my breath, pulling the other knife out of my thigh and raising it to Matteo's face, cleaning the side on his cheek and leaving a trail of my blood in its wake. "Did you really think I'd be so helpless? The daughter of the crow's biggest traitor and the woman who brought an archdemon to its knees?"

"The warden..."

"That's Mama," I press my tongue into my cheek. "You can have my power, you even can put me in your weird little talon ladder climb to the top-- But don't you think for a second you can break me, because I'm born of legends , and you're just another crow begging for a visit from my Papa."

"Your father isn't here--"

"No. I am , and that should scare you more," I pull the smaller knife out from his pillow, looking over the blade, now mostly wiped clean of blood from the down of the pillow. "He spared your life once, let you run with your tail between your legs to skip a contract-- You'd be dead if it weren't for him. Do you think he'd do it again if he knew there were stab wounds in my legs? Poison in my veins?" I slide off the bed, knives still in hand as I stand before him on his tiled bedroom floor. " Do you think you could outrun us both?"

He's silent. It's not much of an answer, but it would have to be enough for now.

"I'm going to get stitches," I start towards the door, feeling new blood seep down my leg. "So I will be retrieving Viago, and then I will be going to bed, and by the time I wake up, you'd best have called off your dog-- Sorry, Guildmaster ," I correct, "You get your way when you negotiate, not by trying to bleed me out."

I half expect him to yell for Leonardo, but it's silent as I make my way to the infirmary attached to the lab. I could see the lights on, pooling through the crack under the door.

There's the blood loss capturing up with me.

I stumble into the door, nearly collapsing as I push it in, spilling into the infirmary.

"Juno," Javier is to me first, grabbing my elbow to hold me up, "What are you doing in here?" He follows as I stumble over to a bed, collapsing onto it and sticking my leg out to try and get the blood to pool and clot. "You need to get back to the shed before Le--"

"There is no shed." I snap.

"W.. What?"

"There. Is. No. Shed," I toss the knives in my hand up onto a rolling medical tray, "So go get the iodine and a needle, before I bleed out."

The hurried steps from the lab section of the infirmary match the flying pace of my heart.

"Juno," His voice is a comfort, even though I know he's going to give me hell.  "How are you here?"

I tilt my head over on the bed to view Viago in all his glory, because if I can't have my dad here, I really needed the next best thing.

"I burned down the shed," I admit, choosing to leave out that whole... spirit interaction . "Could we perhaps continue this interrogation over sutures? I've been bleeding for two days."

"Bleeding?" Viago's eyes look to my leg, pants stained red with blood. "Mierda, what did he do to you ?"

Viago pulls off his gloves as Javier hurries over with a bowl of water, rag, scissors, a needle , suture thread and iodine.

"Tis but a flesh wound," I reach back for my throwing knife, grateful I carried it all the way here despite its precarious location, and sliced at my pants, cutting the thigh out of my pants. "Okay, so maybe it's a little deeper than a flesh wound, but I got here, so that's something." I peel back the fabric, unsettled by the sound it makes as the soaked fabric peels apart from my skin, akin to the noise that's made when pulling hide from fur, tearing and wet.

"That is not a flesh wound, Juno, " Viago clenches his fist to compose himself. Yeah, he really wants to yell at me. But he isn't. "This is going to hurt."

"No shit," I counter. "It hurt going in, it hurt coming out, it'll hurt getting it put together. Just do it, I'll manage." Viago stands, pulls his belt off, and holds the leather to my face. 

"You are going to bite down so you don't bite your tongue, and you--" Viago looks to Javier, "are going to go grab the vials of antidote we were crafting for when she was out. She won't be able to fight off infection if she's still fighting deathroot."

Not out of the woods yet, just out of the shed.

I couldn't tell you which part of the stitches hurt the most-- the cleaning, the sanitizing, or the stitches themselves. It all sucked. My molars left permanent indents into the leather of Viago's belt. I was covered in sweat all over again, I probably smell horrific.

But I could tell Viago was scared. His hands shook when he sewed me up. He winced every time I made a noise. He made Javier hold my hand through each stitch.

And then, in his greatest act of mercy, he carried me to the bath in the corner of the infirmary, placing me down to check the temperature of the water he had Javier heat up before sending him to bed, and to pull the privacy screen across that small section of the room.

"What will you do when Matteo finds you?" He asks, from the other side of the screen.

"He knows already." I answer. "I found him."

"And he let you walk free?"

"He didn't have much of a choice," I answered, finally free of my clothes and sinking into the tub. It stings, there's herbs in the water mingling with my fresh wounds, but it felt good to get the dried salt of my sweat scratched off my face and neck. "I was the only one in the room with a knife."

"You threatened him--"

"No," I ponder, "Well, yes and no. I prefer to say we negotiated."

"Juno," I can hear Viago sigh, "What did you negotiate , then?"

"Me," I answered. "I reminded him of who I was, who my parents were. I let him know that if he intends to try and get me to cooperate with his plans, then he'd only get it if he called off Leo."

"and that ... worked?"

"I don't know," I looked over my hands in the water, my wrists rubbed raw from the rope that bound them. "But I'm here, and I'm not dying anymore, so..."

"You lost a lot of blood," Viago says quietly. "Your skin is so pale, you don't look the same."

"Speak for yourself," I joke, "You don't look like you slept at all."

"I didn't."

Yeah, I guess I saw that coming.

I lean my head back, dunking my hair into the water to scrub it free of sweat.

"Juno?"

"Hmm?"

He's quiet for a moment, like he still doesn't think I'm real.

"Don't do that to me again," His voice is still soft. "Please."

"I'm okay, Viago." I still my movements in the water, listening for his reply. There is none. "Really, I can handle--"

"DAMMIT, Juno, I don't CARE what you can handle--" The suddenness of his temper makes me leap a bit. "-- I can't. I can't handle it. I can't handle hearing your screams."

I guess Leo was right. Our biggest weaknesses were each other. Two sad little orphans, taking stabs for one another.

"And I wouldn't be able to handle hearing yours." I answer. I slipped out of the tub, drying myself off while I spoke, "And I wasn't wrong, you lost your time over the week because of me, my plans, my ideas, my mess."

"But I made that choice, I did that on my own, and then instead of letting me face it-- you took that from me. You made your own choice, and you got hurt."

I slide on the night clothes Javier prepared, meeting Viago on the other side of the privacy screen, looking up into his blue eyes.

He was tired. Wrecked, even.

"I'm afraid I have no regret to give you, Viago." This was my path now, the one I chose to make to help us reach the heights we needed to to change the Crows. I was a rook, I would risk it all to protect the king. "You don't get to be the only person trying to protect someone, that's not how loving people works." His eyes gloss over, and I reach for his hand. "Yell at me, scream if you'd like, but you are my family and I love you, and I won't let you spill blood for my sake."

And I watch Viago crumble. His shoulders sag, his eyes shut, and he pulls me to him, bringing his forehead down to rest on the top of my head.

"You just might kill me before I ever become Talon."

"You won't die from feelings, stupid."

" Idiot. "

" Jerk. "

His breathless laugh brushes down my face, followed by an annoyed groan, and even though he claims to be upset with me, and he is irritated with how this entire scenario played out, he still joins me in bed and keeps his arm wrapped tightly over me until the morning.

And for once, I was grateful to have no letters to read before bed.

Chapter Text

Auntie,

I came across something rather curious, and I'd like to hear your thoughts on the matter. I was facing a tough moment, and before me appeared a spirit. It identified as a spirit of purpose. I haven't heard of such a spirit before. I know your ideas of what spirits are and what they can do vastly differ from Mama's. Can you tell me about a spirit of purpose? Are they safe? Would it's nature fall victim to the cruelties of this world too easily and change it to a demon?

Please do not misunderstand my line of questioning, I do not wish to have any physical interaction with this spirit or to be bound to it in any way-- but I wonder, is talking to a spirit dangerous? What if I aided it in getting it back to the fade?

I believe fate is pushing me towards something, but I am unsure just what.

I miss you, deeply.

Love always,

Juno

Never again will I take for granted the feeling of parchment under my fingertips. The scratching of quill on paper sounded like a symphony to my ears. I even missed this vanity, my own reflection echoing my movements in the mirror in front of me. It wasn't just two days of being away, it was two days of agony longing for the simplicity of day to day life.

And letters were day to day life, my favorite part of it , in fact.

Historically, I didn't oft wake up before Viago. He was usually in bed at night and awake in the early hours before anyone else in the De Riva Estate. Today was the exception, all the stress seemed to have whittled him down to nothing. I managed to pry myself out from his arms once the sun rose, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a struggle. The guy had an iron grip, even in his sleep.

I was able to follow my usual routine; braid my hair out of my face, put on makeup. It wasn't until I got to changing that I realized that I really didn't want the feeling of tight pants pressed against my sutures all day. Though I hated to do it, I settled on wearing a long skirt to let my wound breathe. I would just simply have to not do combat training today, not that I imagine Arlo would make me do much of it anyways. 

Today was bound to be weird regardless, right? I'm sure I'd get another earful from each brother, perhaps even each chess piece if word got around about what happened. I'm sure I'd have another uncomfortable confrontation with Matteo, deal with glares across the courtyard from Leo and likely spend at least the next week stumbling from a small limp-- I could walk, but using the muscle to step certainly made my leg feel like it could collapse at any moment. It would be a weird day... but I would get through it.

I always do.

When Viago finally stirred from his sleep, I watched him quietly palm at the bed, furrow his brow, then frantically sit up and whip his head around. I was by the window when he awoke, placing my gifted chest atop my dresser once more, retrieved from its hiding spot in the lab.

"Good morning," I offer, and Viago's once tensed shoulders drop. "Nervous about me sneaking off, are you?"

Viago falls back onto the pillows with a sigh, rubbing at his eyes, "If I know where you are, I can stop you from doing reckless things."

I snort, "You can't keep your eyes on me 24 hours a day, Vi."

"I know," He pulls himself off the bed, getting up and stretching his back "I need to become talon so I can pay other people to do it for me."

"You need to become talon so you don't have to have anyone watch me." I correct him, but he tosses an unamused glance my way.

"You won't stop being you simply because I become talon, I will always have to worry, and I will always have to watch out for you."

"Wow, that's a super strange way to say ' Juno, I love you, you're the best sister I could ever ask for' , but I will accept your compliments nonetheless."

"Not a compliment," He rebuttals, "Tonight, I need to show you the place Teia and I found. Can you walk okay?"

I cross the room to him, flinching every few steps, "If we take it slow, it should be fine. I'll get some elfroot in me, that always seems to do the trick."

"I'm sure I have some painkillers in the lab I can give you as well," Viago starts into the hall. "I'll find you later."

It was not long after his retreating footsteps were followed up by newer ones in my doorway.

"Miss,"

"Yeah yeah, I know," I look over myself in the mirror before looking back to the attendant who came to retrieve me. "Where is he?"

"The sitting room, Miss."

Matteo De Riva chose to be the first stepping stone of the day. Fine.

I pull open my dresser, grabbed an old clay pipe passed to me from Auntie Morrigan, packed it full of dried elfroot and started down the stairs. I might as well be masquerading as her, at this point, wearing her clothes and jewelry, smoking her herbs from her old pipe.

No wonder Kieran and I never really clicked romantically. I see his mom in him, and he sees his mom in me.

I can feel my mana flowing through my mage knife on my hip as I summon a spark into the pipe, the dried herbs smoldering under the momentary flame. The first breath of smoke was everything.

To most, Elfroot was just a healing herb, great for putting on wounds to speed up healing and drink in teas for quick ingestion and internal issues. For elves ? For mages?

It was healing heat, it was slightly numb limbs, it was the feeling of mana pooling in your center building and building until it flows through your veins. For elves, elfroot was inner peace. For mages , elfroot was renewed energy. For elven mages? It was flowing, circling power and complete control.

Not feeling my torn muscle helped, too.

It must've been quite the sight for Matteo, to see the girl who was bleeding atop him last night, smiling like a devil and wiping blood on his face, so tame the following morning.

With a gesture, he has the attendant shut the sitting room doors, and we're left alone. I step to the seating area, sitting on the couch opposite of Matteo, taking another inhale of my pipe and eyeing over the space.

He had coffee made on the center table. How unsurprisingly hospitable.

"You seem to have recovered well," Matteo looks me over, searching for any sign of damage on the skin that was available to the eye. "Will there be any permanent damage?"

I snort, boredly drawing my attention to the door, "Leo's not dumb enough to damage the goods." I run a hand over my thigh, the silky fabric of the skirt brushing over the peaks of my stitches. "Maybe a scar on my thigh, but I'm sure the wound will heal before too long."

It's disgustingly civil conversation, but it had to be.

We all had to ascend to greater ranks in the crows to be able to dismantle it from the inside, and Matteo was my way in. I had to be good enough to get him to give me a contract, complete that contract, and swear in. And I had to do it while being quiet enough about the plans that he would still be interested in having Viago be his successor.

So as much as it felt like I wanted to choke , I had to be a good little crow for the Fifth Talon, so I could destroy what he's created later.

"Excellent," Matteo picks up his coffee cup from the table, "You seem to have a grasp on the empty role I'm looking to have you fill within the Fifth House positions, so let me spell it out for you; our ranks lack women, especially elves. Most Elves wind up in the 8th house, and most women either wind up in the 7th or 1st Houses. That means, to enlist crows who are experts in seduction techniques, we wind up borrowing from other houses--- splitting the contract payments."

The laugh under my breath does not go unnoticed by Matteo, but he continues, "The loss of coin for the assassins putting actual work in causes discourse in the rankings."

"So," I take another puff on my pipe, tilting my head as I watch over Matteo, "You need the pretty elf to fill the gaps. I get it, I believe the term Leo used was ' honeypot '," I feel a grimace fall onto my lips, "I'd prefer to not be called that, but I already told you I was interested in joining the crows. You don't have to convince me." I gesture to the coffee table, littered with pastries and drink fixings, "I took a punishment that I deserved until I couldn't, and then I got out. This doesn't have to be more complicated than that."

"You made it more complicated," Matteo glowered at me with suspicion, "I had my doubts when your father brought you here about your intentions, and then I try to test what you can handle-- and you stab a knife into my pillow and wipe your blood on my face."

I give him a little smile, "What can I say? Red's your color."

"If you are going to fight me around every corner, what good is having you here?" He snaps, letting out an irritated huff. "You say you want this, and then you turn around and act out."

"I don't think you get to play the victim this time," I reach down, tapping the ashes out of my pipe into the filled coffee cup on my side of the table, a gesture that I hope conveys my disinterest in his kindness. "You have your eldest son following me around like an obsessive stalker, reporting on my conversations and actions, and you punch me in the face for getting along with both of the boys in line to be the future first talon. Saving my sanity is not ' acting out '."

The Talon sneers a bit as he watches the elfroot ashes floating in the coffee, "If you get involved romantically with one of the Dellamorte--"

"-- So I wont," I interrupt, throwing up a hand. "See how easy that was? No bruises, no blood, no knives." I gesture to Matteo, " You are the Fifth Talon. Your word goes. And I'm sure you've noticed by now, but I'm rooting to see Viago move up to eventually become your successor-- So the answer is pretty simple. I obey," I watch as Matteo relaxes his shoulders, looking over me with less frustration and more satisfaction. "I only ask that Leonardo busies himself with something more meaningful, I'd like to be able to bathe without the paranoia of his eyes on my skin."

"He would not watch you bathe--"

"Do you know that?" I spit, "Do you know for a fact that he is not following me everywhere I go? Watching everything? Waiting for the perfect opportunity to.. to SOIL me? Before I'm even the Fifth House's little baited trap?"

Matteo is silent for a moment, and I swallow down the minor irritation at his lack of a reaction.

"He's creepy and the only reason I ever want to be near him is if I'm on a mission. I will sit through dinners with him when you call, but if I catch him in my shadow again I will drink all the blood from his body and throw him in the canals."

"Leonardo will no longer be an issue," He places his coffee cup down, placing his hands in his lap. "Being Guildmaster will take him away on contract missions frequently, anyways, and we had a word this morning about his behavior towards you," He looks down to my lap, dragging his eyes back up my torso, "And his choice of discipline when he was very specifically told to be gentle."

Gentle? That was his idea of gentle?

"Thank you," I pondered my next choices, "I apologize for my state last night, I was... distressed . And viciously hallucinating." I looked over my nails, noticing some polish was chipping. I'd have to fill these in, or Teia would have my head.

"Yes, well... If anything, last night only proves you are exactly who the Fifth House needs in their ranks."

There it is.

You basically just spelled it out, didn't you, Matteo?

You want me for seduction tactics because you know you'd fall for it. You'd be the first little bee to the honeypot if you didn't need the vacancy in the ranks filled so badly.

Horrific.

But what an upper hand to have.

"I'll make sure to ask permission before giving a demonstration, next time," No rest for the wicked , "Do you need me for anything else, Sir? I do have class today."

Matteo's eyebrow quirks, his gaze on me is now one I can put a finger on-- interest. Want.

You never should have laid your cards down, Matteo. You give me room to cheat.

"You are dismissed," He responds, picking his cup back up and taking a slow sip as I stand, "And Juno?"

Just give him the last word this time. Make him think he still has all the power.

"No more fires, or you'll be the one rebuilding the estate with your bare hands."

I find my way to the training circle, where Arlo is looking especially irritated, throwing more knives than I even realized he had the pocket space for.

"You cannot possibly have that many pockets," I tease, catching Arlo's attention as I approach the circle.

"Well look who walks among the living!" He lifts a hand and pats my shoulder, a wicked grin on his face. "Good to see some color back in those cheeks, little bird."

I watch as Arlo flips his knife in his hand, significantly less irritated than he was before he noticed me, "Yeah yeah, I looked like shit, I get it, you guys do not have to keep reminding me."

"Ah, well, that's the unfortunate part of having brothers, I'm afraid--" He hands me one of the knives, which upon closer inspection, did not match his previous set. "We will always be there to humble you."

"Not sure I can find a humble bone in my body today," I joke, turning to chuck the knife at a hay lined dummy, "But catch up with me the next time I embarrass myself, perhaps you can deflate my ever growing ego." Arlo hands me another knife, this one also different, and I flick a wrist to chuck it at a target, "Where did you get all these knives, seriously?"

"Pulled whatever hadn't melted out of the shed rubble," Arlo answers honestly.

Of course he did.

My face must have said it all, "They're perfectly good knives, Juno," He argues.

"Right," I roll my eyes. "Listen, my leg is still pretty messed up, I won't lie, got any combat training that's requires less... well, movement?"

Arlo couldn't help but chuckle at the question, "Yeah, yeah sure I've got some things I can show you," He puts his knife collection down onto the grass, and I swear I almost saw a pout on his lip for doing so, before he turns his attention back to me. "Then, for today's lesson, we won't rely on knives, or mage knives-- Today will be about using the weapons you were born with; your hands."

I hold my hands out to look at them before looking back up at Arlo, "Oh, you mean these weapons of mass destruction ?"

" Sure , Juno," Arlo holds my hands in his, flipping my hands to face up with my palms to the sky. "There will come a day where you are disarmed, where someone has gotten the best of you and you're left with nothing but your own hands to get you out of a mess. You need to know how to fight using your fists, your bodyweight, and your momentum." Arlo takes my fingers, folding them down to rest just at the tops of my palms, much like a cat paw, "Now let's say someone is coming at you to attack from the front, you've got no weapon, your mana is depleted-- You aim for the face. You throw your weight into an upward hit, the base of your palm to the base of their nose-- If you do it right, you'll hear the pop. Broken nose means enough time to make a second move or get the hell out of there." Arlo flips my hand again, pulling my arm up slowly to follow the trajectory my hand should move to smack into a nose to break it.

It amazes me how much of this he just knows, it's no wonder he got sworn in already.

Arlo steps around behind me, pushing slightly down on my back to push my balance forward, "If they come for you from behind, you can do three things, in particular, they should be in this order--" Arlo places a hand on my hip, pushing that forward as well, "Backwards force into the groin, enough to make them double over," He slowly pulls my hips back, stopping just before contact. "When they're low enough," He places a hand on top of my skull, tipping it forward before slowly tipping it back "Try to hit them in between the eyes with the back of your head, again, you need to make them lose their focus. Then finally," Arlo puts an elbow around my neck, and I reach up to wrap my hands around his arm like I was trying to break out of a chokehold. "Get your hands to a vantage point where you can use the force of your body to flip them over you-- Lock in position, jump, and toss."

"I don't know if I'll have quite enough weight to flip everybody, but I appreciate the optimism," I joke, watching Arlo step back in front of me with a grin.

"If all else fails, just remember that all birds sing ," Arlo holds out four fingers, tapping his thumb to each as he lists them off, " S olar Plexus," He points to the center of my abdomen, " I n-step," He uses hit boot to tap on the center of my foot, " N ose," He lightly taps my nose, his eyes crinkling at the corners as I give him a smile, " Groin. I don't think I need to point that one out."

"Is that a crow acronym, or an Arlo-nym?" I watch his face sink into disappointment.

"Stick with magic, Juno, humor is not your day job."

I spend a few hours outside with Arlo, appreciating that he lets us move slowly and deliberately so as not to further damage my leg, but still giving me training-- and training that was not known to me before. My whole life I relied on magic, it never occurred to me that I'd even be capable of fighting semi-successfully without it.

The rest of the day was spent in the lab with Viago, discussing poisons and their effectiveness, the numerous different sources of venoms and natural toxins in nature, and how to best prepare them to maximize potency. He had me boil down some mushrooms, waiting for the liquid in the vial to turn a dark murky brown before we pulled it from the flames and onto a waiting rack. As it cooled, the brown settled to the bottom of the vial, and left a deep green filtered poison resting on top. Viago used a pipette to extract the poison and place it into a waiting vial, which he insisted needed to be labeled FIRST before putting anything in it, which seemed to be less of actual advice and more like a jab at me assuming I'd forget what poison I was preparing by the time I finished it.

Anyways, he put whatever the hell that poison was on the shelf and rid himself of his gloves he used to the toxic mushrooms.

"Are you ready to see the location we scouted?" Viago puts his hands on his hips, looking over at a clock on the wall before waiting for my answer.

"Yeah, I think I should be able to keep up just fine," I give a nod. "I also got Matteo's word that Leo is no longer breathing my air, so we should be fine on that front."

"Do I want to know?" Viago quirks a brow.

"Actually, no. Like-- probably not. Not at all."

"Then let's go, I don't know how long Javier can cover for us, or if he even needs to, but I'd rather not waste time."

Chapter Text

The rooftops of Treviso were an area completely unexplored to me. It's amazing just how much bigger everything looks from the perches up in the sky, how all the lights look even more beautiful from up high, like lantern bugs in the summer.

Viago allows me a moment of respite to catch my breath, looking with me out over the city, "From up here, you'd never know that there's such an underbelly to Treviso," Viago places a hand on his hip, his blue eyes scanning the skyline. "A place to look down and see the beauty of this place; I think that's what all of us need. A reminder of what we're fighting for."

Treviso was a lot of things. A hub for the Antivan Crows, a city for new beginnings, a bustling market, the art capital of Northern Thedas... but it wasn't inherently evil, despite the criminal activities that happened there. A place couldn't be defined just by the evil that occurs within it, not when there's so much light still cast on it from the skies.

When I need a reminder, I will come here again, I will look down on Treviso and see the sparkling lights and hear the ambient noise of the city-- and I will take heart in knowing that I'm doing everything I can to make it an even more vibrant place, a better one .

"Come, we're almost there." Viago steps up to an odd contraption, wheels and gears starting to turn when he flips a switch. "You need to grab and hold on tight, this will get you across quickly, but you don't want to slip." Viago looks at me, waiting for some confirmation.

Confused, I step over to the machine, noting that it was spinning a large wire in a rotation, uphill towards the top of a building.

Over a very, very large gap in the rooftops, where one could easily plummet to their death.

"You are out of your mind," I look at him, gesturing to the death valley "What are you asking me to do, trust this wire to carry my body 100 yards? Over the vast expanse of nothingness where I may slip and subsequently die?"

Viago gives a small shrug, "Yeah," He answers, wiggling an eyebrow before grabbing a passing bar on the wire, letting it pull his body off the rooftop and across the gap.

"You're on fucking drugs!" I shout, an absolute hypocrite. "Oh my gods," I let out a nervous laugh.

No. Nope.

Baby birds don't fly.

"You're going to miss the surprise if you don't hurry up! Get on the zipline, Juno!" I can just barely hear him shout to me, and I turn around to squeeze my eyes closed and scream with my mouth clamped shut.

Screw it.

Can't overcome fears if I don't face them-- That's what Purpose told me, right?

The bars spin pretty fast around this so-called zipline, but I manage to jump up and grip on tightly with my hands, regretting not wearing leather gloves today as I'm sure it would've helped my grip. The wind is hitting my face, sending my hair behind me to be tousled in the wind-- but it wasn't, surprisingly enough, all that scary. It was quick enough that I was able to forget altogether that I could've died if I let go.

The building we're on a balcony of is unreasonably huge, and still somehow towers up even higher. The buildings in Northern Thedas made a mockery of any building to the south, the architecture was so artistic and colorful in comparison to the boring grey stones you'd see littering  any place in Ferelden. Curiously, I approach a window, staring down below.

"A casino?" I ask, spotting numerous card games happening at large tables below.

"Not just a casino," Viago starts walking around the balcony, about to round a corner before I jog to catch up, "The Cantori diamond. Probably the biggest source of income for the Seventh Talon House. Teia suggested we use the storage space in the attic above the casino as our base of operations."

"So you're telling me," I nudge Viago with my elbow, "that you left that day to go ' scouting ' for a location, and you settled on something that you both already knew was there..." I tap my finger to my chin, "and that took the entire day?"

Viago looks to me, unblinking, but I can tell he's doing his best not to smirk and give up his secrets. "Indeed, I am."

You DOG, Viago.

We start up a set of set stairs that nearly blend into the building, popping up into a large open space with high ceilings. It felt like a bell tower from the churches back home, but somehow far more charming, and far more expensive.

"They just don't use this space?" I glance around, there are a few crates and spare chairs here and there, but really not much space is being used as storage.

"Would you want to have to lug everything all the way up here?" Viago remarks, stepping into an arcaded section of the room, a table pressed to the wall. "We won't keep anything important up here, and thankfully, the 7th Talon is quite soft on Teia, if she's caught up here with friends, it won't reflect poorly on her, especially if she's getting along with other houses," Viago turns on a small oil lantern mounted to the wall, casting an orange glow through the arcade. "The 7th Talon is actually the one who recommended Teia to Matteo for instructing you. He's not so bad, the 7th Talon, one of the few good ones."

"It's a nice space, secluded. Seems mostly abandoned, I think this will work quite well," I approach Viago, running my hand over the table, "Could probably use some personality, though. At least a place for snacks."

"This isn't your playhouse, Juno."

"Why not? Clearly it was yours and Teia's."

Viago narrows his eyes, leaning forward on the table and sighing at my jeers.

"Alright, I'm done with her. Get her out of here." Viago stands, straightening out his back and turning to face a part of the attic that branched out like another room.

What the heck does that mean?

I follow his gaze, watching as someone steps around the doorframe.

"Lucanis," I take the first step without thinking, feeling Viago place a hand on my shoulder to stop me from moving any further. "What are you doing here?"

"I want to make this abundantly clear; I may have helped you," Viago drops his hand off me and crosses his arms, standing at full height, "But that doesn't mean that I'll do it again. So have her home before too late, and remember she is still healing--" Viago takes a step towards Lucanis, making him slide back in response "So hands. off."

What is happening right now?

"You know exactly what I was planning, I don't know what you think is going to happen." Lucanis responds, an irritated eyebrow quirking up.

"What I know isn't going to happen is that she comes home in a worse condition than she was brought here," I see Viago's jaw tense, "So return her home in the same state of dress she was when she arrived."

" Mierda ," Lucanis raises his hands, "Relax, Viago, it's not like that."

"I am literally right here," I remark, adding "hearing ALL of this."

Viago turns to me, raising two fingers up to his eyeballs before turning his hand around to point them back at me.

Yeah yeah, Dad, I get it, you've got your eye on me.

For WHAT?

"Juno, remember, his hair is flammable if he gets too close." Viago starts at the door.

"I think I'm good with fire spells for a bit, thanks."

"Who said you'd be the one lighting it?" And with the sound of his chuckle rounding the corner at the bottom of the stairs, Viago is gone.

And I'm alone with Lucanis again, but this time... Really, really alone. No big brothers twenty paces ahead, no spies lurking in the shadows and no cousins hunting me down in the gardens.

Just me and Lucanis.

And every step he takes toward me is somehow an echo of my heartbeat.

"Hello," I say, as I always did. Because what else could I say? He hadn't written to me, there were no letters waiting for me when I finally managed to get out from the damn shed in the yard, not that I've been inundated with time to read them-- but I would have made time.

I would've stopped time for him, if need be. It's easy enough when he looks at me. Everything around us slows to a halt when I'm in his line of sight. Even the rate at which my mind floats away from me is slowed, wanting to pull apart and analyze every twitch of his mouth, every move of his hands, the way his body leans towards mine when we speak.

Time around Lucanis Dellamorte was prolonged and interminable, and I was always stuck in its flow.

Only one of his hands reaches out to me, landing on my lower lip and pulling it ever so slightly, his honey spiced eyes locked in on the split notched into it, where Leo had torn a tiny cut in the center.

He wears contempt on his face like it was an old friend. The way his brows tip down, the way his eyes burn with a fire that's barely contained-- Lucanis may be able to restrain his anger, but he can't hide it from the world entirely.

"I'm okay," I whisper against his fingertip, watching his eyes climb back to my eyes with the interruption. "I don't know what you've been told but, I'm okay. Really."

"I was waiting," He answers, letting his hand fall from my lips but making no effort to pull his body back from mine. "I told myself that I could just wait, and instead of toiling over a letter this time, I could just talk to you, face to face-- and then I couldn't, for days. If Javier hadn't written me--"

"Javier?" I ask, and Lucanis takes a deep breath.

"I had been corresponding with Viago first but he was too focused on getting you out of trouble as quickly as possible--" Lucanis puts his hand on his hip and I can watch the anger build up in him again. "Javier wrote me after I sent Viago a second letter, I can only assume at Viago's request."

"Why were you writing Viago?"

He looks over me, that rage burning out in an instant when our eyes meet.

"Come with me, I will show you."

Lucanis offers a hand to me, and though an eternity of thoughts buzzed through my brain urging me not to take it, I did anyways.

The floor was beneath me now, it's not as if I could fall any further, right?

Lucanis leads me out the door and down the steps to the balcony, rounding even farther around the corner before gently helping me across an improvised wooden walkway to another rooftop. He drops my hand to climb down a trellis on the side of one of the buildings, landing on a lower rooftop, and we continued our slow pace parkour.

Then, atop another arch on a rooftop much closer to the ground, Lucanis looks to me before pulling me slowly around a corner.

I guess I could fall further.

"I wanted to do this a few nights ago," Lucanis starts, stopping as he pulls me to a small blanket stretched out on the stucco floor of this cove. "I had written to Viago to get some help."

I could tell.

A small blanket, with a small vase in the center, purple statice flowers and ferns jutting out from within. A small basket, wine glasses, fresh fruit, bread, cheeses. He might as well have recreated the entire night out I had described to Viago, apart from fireflies and a lake.

How did I let this happen? How is it that after I was so sure I could stop him from taking complete control of my heart, he still managed to sink so deep beneath my bones and wrap a caring hand around it to cradle it? How did he do such caring things for me that I questioned whether I had ever been cared for at all?

"I decided, after Javier wrote to me, that instead of making this about-- well, about us. That tonight could be just about you." Lucanis gestures for me to sit, and I'm eager to get off my knees lest he notice they're shaking beneath me. Quietly, from somewhere below, a melody fills the air. "Originally, I had thought to take you to the First Talon Estate, there's a lovely pond in the backyard, but Teia suggested this setting might be a little more comforting after everything you went through."

In the quiet misty morning, when the moon has gone to bed

When the sparrows stop their singing, and the sky is clear and red

When the summer's ceased its gleaming, when the corn is past its prime

When adventures lost its meaning, I'll be homeward bound in time.

I can't help the way my body sits up, the goosebumps that crawl over my arms. The song that rang out into the air was an old elven song, one that most city elves knew from generations of being passed down through their families. It was a song of finding a calling, knowing that those you love will be waiting for you as you head off to chase that newfound purpose, and the inevitability of coming home a changed person. It was a very popular lullaby, back home.

I crawl to the edge of the balcony, peering out over the city. Across from us, on the steps of a church, stood a small choir. Interestingly enough, they were all elves.

Bind me not to pasture; Chain me not to the plow.

Set me free to find my calling, and I’ll return to you somehow.

"Teia says they all meet weekly for this," Lucanis's voice says quietly behind me. "Most are freed slaves, but from what Teia said quite a few of them came from Southern Thedas."

If you find it’s me you’re missing, if you’re hoping I’ll return,

To your thoughts I’ll soon be list’ning, in the road I’ll stop and turn.

Then the wind will set me racing, as my journey nears its end,

And the path I’ll be retracing, when I’m homeward bound again.

More than just being popular among the elves, it was popular among the Grey Wardens, so much so it had been translated to several other languages entirely.

"My mother used to sing this to me," I whisper, my scalp prickling as the choirs' voices move my heart in ways I didn't know it could still be moved.

I feel like I can't swallow, like there's this cork in my throat stopping me from forming words or speaking or even crying. So I just close my eyes, and listen.

Mama used to love this song, she said that when she joined the wardens, the song took on an entirely new meaning to her, despite knowing it for years before. She said she loved it even more when I was born, that even Papa would stop to hum along when she would rock me to sleep at night. When I was small, it was just a song.

But now that I was here, without them, it felt different.

It felt like it had always been a promise. But how could you make a promise to return when the Deep Roads would inevitably call?

The harmonies fade out, echoing through the sky, and I'm left in my thoughts.

"What was she like?" Lucanis kneels beside me, looking out at the choir as they prepare for another song.

"Like a hurricane," I smile fondly, placing my hands in my lap, "A storm of a woman, capable of both knocking you off your feet and sweeping you off them," I spare Lucanis a glance, noting that he was really taking the time to watch the performance on the street below. "Papa always said she's what peace feels like, the kind you can only get when someone quiets down the noise of the world for you."

Papa was never really one for words like that, he preferred to call them ' sweet nothings ', but I've also heard him say that he struggles to find ways to talk about feelings because sometimes they're rooted so deep down in history, there's no language in existence to describe them.

"It sounds like you're just like her, then."

"I hope so," I whisper, choosing to pull my attention from the choir to really look at Lucanis. I wanted to etch this moment so deep into skin that it carved the strings of time itself into my bones. His cheeks were not pink this time, there was no struggle for control of the situation-- we were simply just there, together. I wasn't trying to run damage control in my brain, or trying to decide which inevitability was worth the risk--

This was just a place in time for us, it didn't have to be more than that .

But he did bring my favorite flower, and he did have Viago running intel on how to give me a perfect night out, and for as much as he pretended to protest, Viago still went along with it. He even got Teia involved. I can only assume this was Viago's way of saying thanks. To think he got up the morning after playing a drinking game with Teia to pen Lucanis a letter, and then even got Javier to write Lucanis when he realized neither of us were capable of responding... What a dork. And a sweetheart.

It would be a shame to see such hard work go to waste.

"Did I see a bottle of wine?" I ask, pulling Lucanis' attention from the street below. I surprised him, by the looks of it, when I shifted the conversation, but he accepted it regardless.

"Vin Santo, I thought it may go well with the cheese,"

I use my legs to push myself back onto the blanket, admiring the sweet little set up. I watch as Lucanis pulls the cork from the wine and pours two glasses about halfway, offering one to me before making himself comfortable on the blanket.

"Thank you," I can't help but look over every inch of him, his silhouette hugged by the glow of the city in the distance behind him. He was so earth shatteringly handsome, his cheekbones defined and sharp, the gentle slope of his nose down to the cupid's bow of his lips. He was freckled with beauty marks, a poetic reflection of the truth of his face. Lucanis Dellamorte was a painting fit for a museum, and if my mind could be that museum, his image would rest there eternally.

"I know you were subjected to cruelty this week, Juno, I do not know the depths of what you were forced to survive through," He looks down, swirling the wine in his glass, "But if you asked it of me, I would put a knife through anyone who dared to lay a finger on you, plans be damned."

His eyes flick back to me, and the rage isn't back but there's something so familiar in his eyes-- like he was challenging me to do it, begging me to--

But I wouldn't pull the knives from my wounds to hand them to another, this was never his burden to carry.

"You needn't ruin yourself for me, Lucanis."

"But I would," He answers, his brown furrowing as he glared back down at his wine. "I would ruin myself a million times for you."

"I have the most heart warming burden of knowing you are not alone in feeling that," I reach out, placing a hand on top of his, pulling him from the cavern of darkness he threatened to disappear to. "I had one brother stitching my wounds, one talking me through my lowest moments, and another writing to someone I care for deeply to make sure he didn't feel like he was being ignored. I had a friend suggesting locations to hear songs of our kin because she thought it might comfort me-- I have no need for anyone to try and harm Leo. My happiness will be the atrocities in his life, I will stand taller than he ever could supported by the people he failed."

Lucanis tilts his head, seeming to miss the entire conversation past the first sentence, "What do you mean ' stitching your wounds '?"

I clutch the ruffle of my skirt, unsure how to correct the mistake I made. I had ruined this entire moment with but a few words.

"I needed a few sutures. Nothing major," I respond, tipping my wine glass to my lips, but Lucanis pulls his hand from beneath mine, stopping the glass before it tips back too far, and grabbing it from my hands to place on the ground.

"Show me."

And suddenly that familiar flame in his eye was back, like he was just another wooden shed I was unintentionally burning to the ground. The way the orange glow of the city danced in his irises, you'd think his body a hearth in which stoked flames grew.

But he doesn't have to repeat himself, I know that no conversation and no pleasantries will continue from here until I concede. So I do.

I grab the black skirt base by my ankle, and carefully pull and fold it up my leg until my thigh is exposed, iodine stained skin around raised bloody stitches. Looking at it now, the wounds were wider across than I remembered, requiring more stitches than I had remembered counting. I suppose, even when the relief of being out of the shed came, I still lost myself in the moments after, allowing fear to blind me of the hurt I experienced.

But every moment of the day is lost on me when Lucanis' finger glides just past the edges of the wound, tracing the edges of the bruise around my thigh. I can feel my heart leap to the point that it rattles the ribs in my chest, and a fire burns in me in that moment as well. There's entire wildfires just at the tips of his fingers, catching on the dry tinder of my veins and burning everything in me until there's nothing left but my barred soul.

"That's nothing major?" He asks, finally dragging his gaze from my leg to boldly stare into my eyes. "Your skin was torn apart like something was crawling into it."

"And now it's fixed, and someday maybe it will be like it never happened at all," I respond, my fingers twitching at his fingers still delicately tickling around my leg. "And besides which-- I made my message quite clear. Nothing like this will happen again."

"Until it does ," Lucanis counters, his fingers finally leaving my leg only to carefully and slowly pull my skirt back down over my leg. "Because that's what the Crows do, they tear you apart, feed you words of encouragement, and then they throw you to the wolves to suffer all over again." Lucanis reaches down, picking up my wine glass to hand it back to me, "You carry the weight of knives in your back and you do it so well they might as well be wings-- but just because you carry it well, doesn't mean they aren't heavy , Juno. It's okay to rely on someone." Lucanis collects a small cracker and lines it with fig jam, my favorite, before holding it to my lips, "I don't mind being there to help you fight off the wolves."

And we share a look there, one so deeply intertwined, full of so many unspoken but well known words that the gods themselves would shake at the thought of separating us. There are corners of my mind that know I shouldn't have him, shouldn't love him, but it doesn't stop it from dreaming of all the ways that it could.

I settle for fig jam on a cracker, something to root me to this earth so that I don’t send us both to the skies, migrating away from the harshness of Antiva to find a place to nest with each other forever.

After finally getting to enjoy the wine, the walk back home felt easier. I felt lighter on my feet as well as in my heart. No ziplines or makeshift boards and bridges could scare me, no heights could shake me-- I was up so high that any come down at all would take hours.

Lucanis walked me all the way home, even following up the trellis to my balcony to make sure I was safe in my little tower. He lingered, perhaps looking for the right words to say, perhaps knowing none had to be said at all.

I gravitated towards him, as I always tend to do, and put a hand in the middle of his chest. His heartbeat was a comfort, a reminder that regardless of whatever spell I may think he places on me, he was just a human. There would be a part of me, for as long as he was around, that would always remain soft, never quite able to let the world harden me from the trauma. If he was there fighting off the wolves by my side, I would know what the peace is that quiets down the rest of the world.

The kiss I placed upon his cheek would have to be the goodbye we both were searching to find the words for, and my retreat to my bedroom would have to satiate the part of me still begging for any control at all.

I returned to my vanity once more, for a new recipient this time, one that need not be delivered by messenger bird and simply slipped under a door down the hall instead.

Viago,

Years down the road, when I'm asked where the turning point in my life was, I will speak of you. I will speak of how meeting you formed me into someone the world could not corrupt, how the friendship we have goes beyond just being around each other and trying to get along-- I will speak of how your soul knows mine in ways no one else's ever will.

Thank you for everything you do for me. From the days where I see you fighting the urge to scold me to the moments you care to make special simply because you hope to see me happy.

You are my most favorite person, Viago. The best one I've ever known.

Thank you.

-Juno

~-~-~-~-~-~

Chapter Text

Juno,

To answer your queries; in my time I've come to find spirits are quite curious beings. A spirit of Purpose is quite rare this side of the fade, rarer to be uncorrupted by man. If that particular spirit sought you out, it believes it can help you achieve a goal.

A spirit is an emotional being, typically latching on to one thing-- Love, Justice, Purpose. They can hear and see things inside us that no mere mortal can, a part of us that's more in tune with the fade than we realize. You must have quite a goal in mind for a spirit of purpose crossed to this side of the fade for you.

If you feel fate is calling you to something greater, then you do not need me to tell you to grasp for it; we both know your blood denies you the right to ignore it. Speak to your spirit, but do not let it in. You're a highly emotional person, so much so that the moment a spirit joined your form, it would likely lose itself in your mind. 

Tread lightly, Juno, but not so lightly that you don't forge your own path through the wood.

Take care my darling,

Morrigan

Two weeks had crept by since my time in the shed, and it felt unreal how the world just continued on after that; like time could just keep slipping by when I both lost and found a part of myself during those few days. The world itself was unchanged, ever moving and letting days shift into nights-- I still had training, still had combat classes, tactics tests, poison practice, and seduction sessions. Every class carried on the same despite there being a wordless shared knowledge that this was all part of a grander plan leading to a better life.

The hardest part of time continuing to persevere was watching Javier lose his light. As the month crept to an end, it became clear that there were discussions none of us were privy to between Matteo and Javier. Javier didn't have the same light in his eyes anymore. He wasn't the first to join in discussions anymore. He barely spoke much at all.

His silence haunted me.

So when the rest of the estate had gone to bed, and when I finally thought of any words I could possibly say to him, I found myself tiptoeing down the halls to his room. "Javie," I say, not too loudly, but over a whisper enough that he could hopefully hear it mix with my knuckles lightly tapping on his door.

No light turned on, but I could hear his footsteps approach the door. I would say his eyes looked tired when his figure appeared in the frame, but they had been tired, growing ever more tired with each passing day.

"Juno?" He questioned my presence at his door, but stepped aside to let me in regardless. "Is everything all right?"

I pull my hands from behind my back, showcasing the bottle of wine I had slipped from the cellar, "Would you like to stargaze with me, Javie?"

I saw a piece of him return in that moment, just a fragment, in the gratefulness that shone in his eyes. I heard him breathe out a laugh, before gesturing out to his balcony. "After you."

Javier's room truly had the best view, essentially centerstage above the courtyard with the event space, dancefloor, fairy lights and paths out to the gardens below. It made sense, in a way, that Javier would want to be the closest to the ‘ life ’ of the estate when it was there. Javier was probably the most sociable of all the De Rivas, the first to start a conversation, the first to crack a joke and the first to speak his mind.

That's what made seeing him like this so hard. It's like every piece of joy in him was missing. Every day that ticked closer to him needing to take a contract tore a fragment of his soul away.

Javier had a small table off to one side of his balcony, but I opted for simply using it as leverage to get up to the flat part of the roof above his bedroom. Javier followed up after me, and I crossed my legs as he sat down. He seemed to inspect my movements, his eyes moving from my leg to my face-- like he was making sure I wasn't in pain anymore.

It was all bruises and scabs now, and barely even that. Sure, there'd probably be a small pink scar marking my history on my leg, but it no longer hurt to walk-- that's a win in my book.

I pulled a small thin knife, another of the ones Arlo had stolen from the remains of the shed, and used it to stab into the cork of the wine bottle and pry it out. Thankfully, becoming a fighter who was ever familiar with knives meant finding out all the ways to use them-- Thanks, Arlo.

"What's the occasion?" Javier asks, taking a sip of the wine bottle the moment I pass it to him.

"No occasion," I answered honestly, "I just missed you." His momentary surprise by my response is sullied by the smile that forms after.

"Sorry," Javier whispers, "I've had a lot on my mind."

"I know," I tap my fingers against the wine before stealing it from his hands, "And that's okay. I can't expect you to fill the time between all your thoughts with me, so I was hoping maybe we could think them together."

Javier's eyebrows scrunch down, "I'm not sure you want to, Juno, they're such a heavy burden. You may be jumping into waters far over your head."

"Ah, but that's exactly why I do, heavy things are better carried by two people," I place the wind bottle between us on the ground, leaning back on the palms of my hands with a smile. "Besides, I'd rather drown in stormy seas of thoughts with you than sail through calm ones with anyone else."

Javier cracks a small smile, another piece of him returned, "You have this infuriating and adorable way of breaking up everyone else's dark storm clouds, you know that?"

He stares up at the sky, eyes tracing lines between stars so well you'd think he'd mapped the constellations himself. The most beautiful thing, I've noticed, about people blessed with brown eyes, is that it makes it so much easier to see the night sky reflected in them. Perfect dark pools reflect the twinkle of stars so easily it's almost as if they lived inside them all along.

"I don't know how to help you other than to tell you that I'll be here for you, Javie," I decided to join him, looking up at the sky. If I feel like I'm talking to the stars instead, perhaps the words will come out easier, "Bring me with you, put me on intel. When it's over and you need a safe place to crawl back to, I'll be waiting with my arms open."

"I cannot bring you, Juno. I won't have you witness the sin of who I must become."

"Why must you define yourself by the darkness you struggle to endure? Why can't you make something of the light in you that refuses to surrender despite it all?" I pull myself off my hands, reaching over to tap a finger against Javier's chest, "Clouds rolling in doesn't mean that the stars lose their light, they're just harder to see until the storms pass. You, Javie, are an endless expanse of night dotted with the light of so many burning, brilliant stars. Even when you think no one else may see that, that there may be too many storms for you to glow, I see you . I look up to the skies of gray and I know you're there, waiting to shine again."

He silent, but he tips ever so slowly, leaning down until his cheek rests atop my head and my hand falls from his chest, "Sometimes, you make me feel like I'm the youngest one here," He scoffs, it's quiet but it's him and I almost shed a tear in reverie of it, "What church ordained you to preach such words of innocence? I simply must tell them that I know you're out kissing virgin necks in gondola rides."

There's my Javie.

"Just returning all the love you give in kind, Javie," I hum contentedly, "To me, you aren't composed simply of the person you are or the things you do, you are also the things you choose not to be and the actions you refuse to take. No matter what it is you wind up doing, even if you come home with blood still stained on your hands, you are no monster, Javier . You are, and always will be, an angel of mercy in the darkest moments of my life."

And then we sat in the silence of the evening, nothing like the quiet that drove me to the edge of insanity back in the shed. This silence was comforting, healing, in a way. I could feel the wet spot forming on top of my head where Javier had let himself cry, but I would never speak out loud that I knew it to be there.

The time that passed before either of us spoke was immeasurable to me, because the comfort I felt in simply existing with him could've made sleep take me over at any moment. He did speak, however, and it seemed he had found all the parts he was missing, "Have you still been writing to Lucanis every night?"

I click my tongue at him, half tempted to shove him off the top of my head but settling on continuing to give him my empathy, "I do not write him nightly, and I'll have you know that I write plenty of other letters to plenty of other people."

"Oh?" Javier pulls his cheek from my head, bending down to give me that mischievous grin I came to know so well, "And just how many birds feed from your palm, my dear sister?"

Even in all the teasing, I can't help but feel a section of my heart heal every time a De Riva refers to me as their sister.

"No one feeds from my palm," I swat at his arm, "And not all letters are written to my ever growing line of potential suitors," I gesture out to the empty gardens, "Look at them all, begging at my lawns for just a sight of me."

"You are certainly a sight to see," He jokes back, picking up the wine and knocking back a sip. "You've at least got the Dellamortes wrapped around your finger, marrying into the First Talon household wouldn't be such a bad thing. Lots of old money there."

"--- Let me just stop you right there, marriage is not even an option on the table," I close my eyes, completely exhausted from the turn this conversation took. "Becoming a crow comes first, Viago becoming Fifth Talon is next, and everything else can come after that. There is no plan we've concocted that involves me leaving this estate to go join another Talon. It's Viago, or it's no one."

"Poor Lucanis," Javier chuckles, "Always getting his heart torn apart by Viago's hand."

"Don't sully Viago's name with my choices, I'm not saying never, just..." There it is again. The unknown. The mystery. Always creeping back into my thoughts to remind me that plans can be plans, until the plans don't follow suit or end entirely. "Not now, not when there's so much at stake, you know? Lucanis may be the paintings I decorate the walls of my mind with, but if the world doesn't know how valuable they are to me, perhaps they can remain there longer. Perhaps no crooks or thieves will try to steal that from me if they don't know all it is worth."

"You let Lucanis decorate your walls , huh? Yeah, I bet he did," My fist punches into his arm, once, twice, every time he opens his mouth. "Giving you tons of new coats of paint, if you know what I mean!"

"You are incorrigible!" I huff, relenting my hits only when Javier rolls back with laughter, clutching at his stomach. I wanted to be mad at him, but he was both hilarious and the most meddlesome pain in my ass -- but he was here again, and that was all I could hope for .

His laughter slows, and we catch eyes, his smile like a breath of fresh air after seeing weeks of his misery. His eyes soften, before he closes them altogether and tucks his arms up behind his head, "Did you mean what you said? About wanting to be intel for whatever contract I took?"

"Of course I did," I answer, laying my back down on the roof and getting a better view of the stars above us, "I may not always have the right words to give to make a situation easier to swallow, but I'll always have two arms to soothe you until the storms stop. I'd rather be right there for you than have to wait around at home for you to roll in with the clouds growing."

"I'd... like that; if you were there, that is."

"Then there I shall be, Javier."

Chapter Text

Viago's fist hitting the table made the plates and silverware rattle, and the glare he had fixated on Javier would likely actually kill me if he looked at me the slightest bit similarly. Javier seems only unamused at Viago's outburst, however. It was the complete opposite of the wild smile that stretched across Leonardo's mouth.

"Viago, that is enough," Matteo scolds, eying his youngest son over his cup of wine, "It's a good thing that Javier is bringing Juno for intel on this, it's time she learned to work with other recruits and crows."

"She is not ready," Viago slowly unclenches his fist, trying to take a calming breath. "She hasn't even been in training for that long--"

"Would you relax? She's going to have people with her who have been going on many intel missions, and she's just spying -- No combat, no risks." Javier pushes his plate to the side, clearly done with dinner and this conversation. "I'm not an idiot , Viago, I'm trying to put her on an easier intel mission to start her off, and you or all people should understand why I'd want to."

This seemed to quiet Viago down, though he snapped his glare down to his plate, picking up his fork to stab at some pieces of roasted tomatoes, not bothering to eat more but just passively poking at it.

"If you are confident in what you have been teaching her, then you should be confident in her abilities to put them to use." Matteo looks to Viago, to Javier and then to me, a small smirk tugging at his lips as he nods. "It will do Juno well to be able to observe the assassin teams, and get her more acquainted with following someone else's orders."

Well, when you say it like that it sounds terrible , actually.

"Leo, should you feel so inclined, now that you'll be leading more contracts, take our fledglings out for intel missions as you see fit. Arlo, the same goes for you, the younger ones need more time in the field."

And encouraging Leo to take us out sounds even worse .

The rest of dinner ticked by quietly in comparison to the ruckus caused by Javier stating he would take me on his first contract mission to do intel. Viago still fumed, though quietly, lost somewhere in his jumble of thoughts. It had been a while since I had actually seen him so frustrated at something.

Viago, at some point, would just have to come to terms with the fact that he cannot protect me forever. The plan will not move forward unless we are all working towards it, so it can't just be Javier accepting that he'd be sworn into the Crows-- I had to face that as well.

"It's not as bad as you might think," Javier said to me quietly as we climbed the stairs to our rooms. "There was a contract out to take out a Tevinter Slaver after they stole a Noble's daughter. That's the one I took," Javier stops outside my door. "I know it's... well, no matter what it's still dark, but I thought maybe the worse the person was, the less bad I would feel about what I have to do."

Javier was always surprising me, I cherish that about him.

"I think that's a very poetic first contract, all things considered," I responded, placing my hand on his shoulder. "No matter how you feel at the end, Javie, it doesn't mean you're any less good. That's just the fate of our circumstances, and it wont change who you are."

"Yeah yeah," Javier waves his hand dismissively at me while giving a rather half hearted eye roll, "Believe me, I've heard your sermons over and over in my head since the other night. I won't forget it, little bird."

He pats my head, frizzing the blond hairs at the top of my head, before starting off towards his room. "Wait Javie," I pipe up, "Who else is coming? Is it just us?"

Javier turned over his shoulder, a smirk on his lips as he tips his head to the side, "Come on Juno, use that big brain of yours -- I need recruits for intel, not crows, we don't have to pay recruits no matter which house they're from. Who else would I bring?" I felt my mouth drop slightly open, did he mean... "Just no fresh coats of paint on the job, please."

Yup. That's who he meant.

Once behind the closed doors of my room, a smile on my face from the good news, I called out for a friend, as I had been doing for the past few nights since receiving Auntie Morrigan's letter (and admittedly, a few times before that). When the spirit manifested before me, I felt relieved once more to see that it remained true to its nature and still had not been corrupted by this world.

Hello, Purpose," I greeted, taking a seat on my bed. "Were you off exploring the world today, or just with me?"

The spirit morphed in front of me, choosing to swap its glowing body for that of a crow, its black feathers appearing all the same like the true animal and landing on the nightstand beside me-- an impressive feat I've come to learn is quite normal for spirits. It reminded me of Auntie.

"I stayed around to observe you today," It answers, its bright blue eyes watching me curiously. "You will be traveling soon?"

"Yes," I respond, patting the bird lightly on the head. "I'll be going on my first intel mission, so I'll need to travel to Tevinter for a few days."

"May I follow you?"

I contemplated this for a short time, but decided on "No," as my answer. "I think it's best if you remain here, I do not believe you would remain safe around the target. I don't want to see you corrupted by the wicked. Please wait here for my return, stay safe in the trees with the birds and remain out of sight."

The spirit is quiet, seemingly considering my words, before it responds, "Will you be able to fulfill your mission?"

"Oh, yes," I respond with a smile, "This one will be easy enough, I'm sure. There's no combat, and I'll be going there with people who have done intel runs before. It'll launch the start of the next level of training, so it's important I do well."

"Because you want to be a crow?" Purpose asks.

"Because I need to be , to be able to help people."

"Then may your journey be guided by your heart's ambition," Purpose gives a small bow of its crow head, before hopping off the nightstand and onto the bed to stare up at me. "Will you tell me of your tales when you return?"

"Of course," Purpose was quite cute in my eyes, almost childlike in its wonder but still always changing its focus back to my goals. It was almost as if it was slowly gaining curiosity for the world outside the fade, curious about man made anything, be it tools, songs or memories. "Three days. If you can count the rise and fall of the moon three times, I will return then and regale you with my stories."

"I shall wait for you, then." The spirit takes flight out of the room, out the open window, and I am alone once more.

I work up the courage to visit Viago in his room, eager to ease some of his concerns.

“Hey,” It comes out quieter than I thought, I guess I was still a little afraid.

“Hey.” He answers, fidgeting with something at the window seat. I approach him, and we have a bit of a wordless conversation with our eyes, resulting in his sigh of defeat. “It’s not that I don’t believe in you, Juno. Things just... have a way of going sideways quickly, and I guess I just thought I’d be able to walk you through your first mission and be there to help you if it did.”

“Is that what happened to you? Is that what Javie meant?”

Viago looks a bit more distressed, looking down at his feet. “Sort of,” He flips something in his hands, over and over, watching it shift slightly in the light. “My first intel mission... By my suggestion, we decided to take a shortcut, cut up a pretty densely brush-covered hill, to try and keep a trail on the targets,” Viago holds the item up in his hands, revealing a small glass vial, a yellow liquid inside. “A saw-scaled adder popped out of the brush, and bit my partner. Th-” Viago shakes his head, struggling to find the words. “The venom killed him so fast, I didn’t even have time to get him help.”

Oh, Vi.

“He was 18, and so full of potential. I watched a light get snuffed out before I was ever even an assassin... and it was my fault.” Viago reaches over and places the small vial of what I now know to be venom on his desk. “I resolved to be a master of poisons that same day. If I could study enough, perhaps creating the anti-venoms in advance could save more from similar fates.”

What do you say to someone who’s haunted?

“What was his name?”

“Dante.” Viago responds, still staring at the vial on his desk.

“Dante started a legacy,” I give a small nod to the venom. “Can you imagine how different life would have been here if anyone else was the poison expert? How royally screwed I would be if you hadn’t started microdosing me the moment I got here?” I sink to my knees, making Viago meet my eyes instead of looking to the floor. “I think Dante would be happy he had such an influence on the future Fifth Talon’s life, and on everyone who will one day be a part of his household. Dante probably saved me, he’s probably a big part of why I didn’t die out in that shed. I think that’s amazing.”

Sometimes, when Viago looks at me, I swear I watch his silent shift from annoyance to veneration. If there are soulmates in this world, platonically speaking, Viago was mine. I think if you boil me down to my simplest reason for being, it would be to watch Viago work his damndest every day to become better. A better person, a better crow, a better talon-- a better brother.

And in the moment where he retrieves the vial from the table again, rising to tower over me as he holds it out to me, placing it gently in my palm-- I wonder how he could ever possibly be better than he already was.

“Take this with you,” Viago closes my fingers around the vial before wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “It need only get under the skin or into a mucus membrane, and it should act quickly. You won't have to suffer through much combat with it just... be careful. You may be immune and you may not be, I haven’t the time to test you to tell.”

He was already so perfect.

.

.

.

When the sound of wings return to my window later, it is not the spirit crow at my window, but my messenger bird instead.

Juno,

I think a lot lately about the feeling of your lips on my neck. I don't understand what makes it so intimate, what about it makes it feel like you fanned a blaze within me, but since the day we went to the market together, it is often the last thing on my mind before I am able to fall asleep. My thoughts can't seem to move an inch without bumping into you somewhere along the way.

You make me feel so calm, and yet so on fire. Being without you for this long has been the cruelest thing I've experienced in my lifetime, and I say this as someone who was raised in a Talon house. I fall asleep thinking of your lips pressed against my pulse, how you could bite in and draw blood and how in the end, I'd still be lost in it night after night.

How have you managed to tether yourself to me in such an impossible way? Is it in your nature to start a fire then run before putting it out? Do you enjoy stoking the flames within me when touching my hands or kissing my cheek? Is leaving a fire unattended the only trouble you intend to get up to, or do you dare to come to me and watch me burn when the spark of your lips meets the kindling of mine?

It grows inside me, raging only for you.

-Lucanis

Nearly three weeks of time apart, how would that affect us tomorrow when we leave for Tevinter? Could the both of us play it off like nothing was happening at all? Could I keep myself from staring at his neck, his cheeks, his lips? Could I get the heat to fall from my cheeks before I left tomorrow?

I would have to read this letter many, many times tonight if I stood any chance.

.

.

.

I stood absolutely no fucking chance.

Every time I had seen Lucanis, he was in nicer clothes, a dress shirt and a vest-- I had yet to see him in the training uniform. When I had left the house the following morning, bag on my back and getting a disapproving farewell from Viago for the 3 days I'd be gone, there was absolutely nothing that could have prepared me for meeting Lucanis and Illario just outside the gates of the city to begin our journey.

I don't think the Crows' wardrobe choices could make anyone look bad , but I'd never seen it make anyone look this good before either. Even Illario's charm was enhanced by the dark leathers.

"Juno," Illario greets me with his usual wide smile, "We were unaware you would be coming on this mission, what a pleasant surprise!"

"Yes, that was something Javier happened to leave out of his letters." Lucanis eyed my older brother suspiciously, who could only shrug before placing his bag into the carriage and retrieving mine from my shoulder to do the same.

"I couldn't bare to take this entire journey with only the company of men, you're all too boorish."

"I am not." Lucanis answered, but mostly under his breath, before following Javier's lead.

It would take a full day's time to get to Tevinter, we'd spend one night there, and then a day's journey back. From what I understood, this was anticipated to be a rather quick contract-- the slaving operation was run mostly by one man, he was the primary target, but the other assassins in the group were made aware that any other slavers taken down as collateral damage would earn them extra pay. A Nobleman's rage in Tevinter was not one to trifle with.

"We will have a base of operations out of the basement of a cafe in Docktown. The assassins are all Fifth Talon, so if we need to rely on some extra hands for intel, we have them," Javier holds out a hand to me, opening the door of the carriage. I take it with a smile and hop in, noting that he stops both of the Dellamortes from getting in first, and takes a seat beside me.

The way both sets of their eyes narrow is not lost on me.

"We'll stop once it's too dark and set up a camp, it won't be more than a few hours travel after that the following day, and we'll try to make it one straight shot home after the job." Javier reaches into his larger bag on his thigh, pulling a small palm sized book from it to thumb at.

Just like the meddlesome brother to leave me to endure the awkward atmosphere on my own. Thank goodness Illario was there.

"Did you sleep well, Juno?" He asks, and I think perhaps maybe I shouldn't be thanking anyone just yet. "You seem a bit out of it."

"I didn't," I answer, my eyes meeting Lucanis' before shifting back to Illario and giving my best halfhearted smile despite the blush building in my cheeks. "Too excited, it would appear."

"Yes, I understand, Lucanis has had much of the same problem recently, I see the light from under his door many nights when I go to fetch a nightcap." Illario pats Lucanis on the shoulder, "The pressure can be a lot sometimes, but intel is a way to prove yourself as a spy first, which is an important piece of being an assassin."

"I am not cracking under pressure," Lucanis responds, crossing his arms while glancing over at his cousin. "It's just been too hot to get good sleep."

"Well, then let us be grateful for Autumn's swift arrival," Illario draws back the carriage curtain to look out at the scenery, "A Lucanis without sleep is a frightening one, indeed."

"How have you been, Illario?" I ask, trying to pull my mind from this subject before my face could become any bit more red.

"Dreadfully bored," Illario tipped his head back against the cushion of the seat, "I could fill a castle with all the paintings I've made in my spare time."

"It'd have to be one hideous castle to make those paintings look any good," Lucanis chuckles at his own joke as Illario scoffs.

"And what of your free time, Lucanis? You've had your nose down in books every time I see you! What have you even been reading?" Illario pokes an accusatory finger into his cousin's shoulder.

"Poetry."

Mythal'enaste. Someone, anyone, please help me.

"You know," Javier's book snaps shut in his hand as his jaw drops, "Now that I think of it, I've noticed Juno with her head in poetry books as well! Has she been recommending poets to you, Lucanis?"

The look on his face, it was clear, he only brought me on this mission to keep himself entertained.

"She has not," Lucanis answers, and it is beyond me how cool and level headed he can respond to Javier's instigating. He must have had many years before I arrived to learn how to deal with it, "But she should. I'd love to hear about her favorite poems, perhaps we have some in common."

No, no don't join in on this . Do not rally against me.

"Why not recite a verse for us? I've heard that's quite popular among nobles lately." Illario, the only one absolutely clueless in all this, encourages me with a smile I can only deem as innocent.

These other two men? Dead to me.

"An excellent idea, Illario! Juno, why not give us a stanza, hmm?" Javier pats my leg encouragingly, and I make a silent vow to line his bedroom floor with olive oil when we return home.

"I would love to hear it." Lucanis adds.

You of all people should not betray me.

You want to get a rise out of me? Fine. I'll get a rise out of each one of you.

"Alright," I answered. "I suppose I do have a new favorite." I cleared my throat, sitting up higher on the cushion as I spoke the prose aloud.

"You have formed within me a new religion.

I find the gospel in your whispers and salvation in your lips.

I no longer question faith, or look for gods in an empty sky.

If you are the temple, then make me your alter.

Fall to your knees, wrap my hallowed legs as a halo around your head.

Remain head hung heavy in prayer and reverie,

and let your tongue rise up towards salvation."

I think I could actually hear Illario swallow down the spit that once choked him.

If Lucanis was breathing, I could not see it.

And Javier? His eyes were wide, but his grin was wider. His laughter was the only thing that broke the silence.

"A-and who wrote that piece?" Illario asked, trying to continue with polite conversation.

I feel my eyes crinkle at the corners as I smile at him.

"Me."

I hope this carriage ride is the longest one you've ever had in your entire life, shit heads.

~-~-~-~-~-~

Chapter Text

Viago,

We've stopped for the evening, somewhere close to the border of the Tevinter Imperium. Once we manage to get a few hours of sleep in, and the sun has began to rise, we will continue on in the carriage to Docktown. I am a bit nervous to meet Crows outside of the Estate, but I am eager to at least take the next step.

I know you're worried about me, and I appreciate that about you, but I think this will be okay. I just have to get there, and to stop Lucanis and Javier from arguing any more than they already have.

Did you Lucanis was coming? Or Illario for that matter? Sometimes it feels like all you De Riva's have your hands in the pot, stirring.

Rest assured, I am an angel. No one knows the word ' behave ' better than me.

Love always,

Juno

"You're not ACTUALLY related," Lucanis' ongoing argument with Javier was beginning to make my head hurt. "Sharing a tent would be inappropriate!"

"Why?" I smirk, signing and folding my parchment, tucking it away to send home with a carrier bird tomorrow in Docktown "Javier and I have shared beds before. Even Viago and I. Though I must say, I enjoyed Javie much more."

It wasn't a lie-- Javie laid the opposite direction, I didn't have to curl up against his body heat and try not to sweat all night-- Viago was like a furnace, and he wouldn't let go of me. But if there’s anything I’ve learned in the past month, it’s the fun game of cat and mouse Teia has perfected-- so they don’t need to know why that is.

The two wide eyed expressions of horror, mixed with Javier's cat-like grin made it all worth it. I place my bag down and step to Javier, wrapping my arms around his neck and giving him my best doe eyes.

"They think I'm going to do despicable things to you, little bird," Javier remarks, raising an eyebrow and petting the back of his hand down the side of my cheek.

"Like what?" I look over at the two Dellamorte boys, still frozen in their spots, staring at Javier and I as if we had murdered one of their loved ones. Lucanis was both seemingly still irritated from the back and forth with Javier, but also watching in wide eyed wonder as Javier held me by the waist.

"Oh, you know ," Javier spares them a glance before dipping down to my ear and whispering so only I can hear, "Let you share the flask I packed, gossip about which one of those two is going to try to come steal you away in the middle of the night," I laugh at Javier's scheming, mainly because I know it is probably driving both of them mad; Lucanis by how intimate it seemed, and Illario because he was never a big fan of anyone having secrets. "Do you want me to make a big fuss of it? Want me to force you to share a tent with them? I am in charge of this contract, I could--"

" Javie! " I laugh, releasing his neck and pushing on his chest, a laugh fluttering out of my throat. "Not that, please." I roll my head over to face Lucanis, my eyes narrowing as I dropped the act. "Anything but sleeping! The horrors!" I roll my neck, getting a satisfying crack as my head tips back, "I don't think anyone but me gets to decide where I get to sleep, thanks, and if it becomes an argument, I will sooner sleep on a rock."

"Rook on a rock," Illario chuckles. "You might get better sleep that way, going on missions and having to bunk with either of these guys gets you furiously kicked while they sleep."

"What's the alternative, anyways?" I wink at Illario, "Shall we make Lucanis and Javier bunk together and you and I share a tent, Illario?"

Javier lets out a single " HA! ", reaching over to stoke the campfire with a log, "Viago would slaughter us all. Let's end this debate; Juno is not only my sister, she is my friend. I would never lay hands on her that way."

"Exactly," I nod, " Plus I have my own tent ."

I always love a good silence after a big reveal.

"You what ?"

"Oh yeah," I pick at my cuticles for a moment, contemplating if I was really ready to end the fun. "Nobody bothered to ask, so I was just going to let you carry on, but since we're dragging Viago into it and threatening slaughter-- Yeah, I brought the canvas to set up a tent. Which is where I shall sleep. Alone. " I emphasize the final word, pulling out a cast iron pot to put over the fire. "Now, show me this dish you kept talking about on the way here-- Crows feed?"

" Ugh ," Lucanis lets out a noise I had never heard from him before, but one that made me laugh. His disgust was evident on his face, and it's weird to think about him being picky about anything.

"I'm going to guess it's not as good as Javie and Illario were pitching it to be then," I pull a snack from my bag and head over to the carriage to grab some food packed in the bench crate. "There's like... two ingredients here?"

"Yup!" Javier strides over, pulling a single onion and a bag of rice from the carriage, walking back over to the fire. He tosses the onion to Illario and drops the rice bag down by the fire. "Crow's feed is just that-- food for the crows. It's not complicated, it's not elaborate-- it's low cost, high efficiency. Root veggies and rice."

"Food is not meant to be 'just food' ," Lucanis responds, sneering at the cast iron pot. "You can't possibly feel like you have the energy to get the job done eating something you dislike."

Okay, really selling it, Lucanis.

"I happen to like it," Javier shrugs. "Sometimes there's beauty in the simple things."

"Having a hard time finding beauty in onions and jasmine rice, Javie." I watch Illario cut into the onion like he was slicing an apple, expertly making cuts deep enough to make progress but not so deep the onion started falling apart. Once he seemed pleased with his diagonal cuts, he flipped the onion in his hand and stood over the pot, his quick cuts dropping the onion into the sizzling cast iron.

"That was kind of impressive," I compliment him, "You didn't cry? I always wind up crying when I cut onions, even the wild ones."

"If you wait to cut off the ends, the onion never bleeds-- no tears," Illario tosses the end of the onion into the actual fire to let it burn. "The real trick is getting your hands clean with a dull knife-- the steel of the blade pulls the smell of onion from your skin. Learned that from an assassin on my last intel mission." Illario looks quite proud of himself, and I can't help but respect that. It was kind of useless information, but it was important enough for him to want to remember it, so that made it important to me, too.

"Sometimes, it seems like you just like learning stuff just so you can share it."

"Yes!" Illario puts his hands on his hips as he grins. "I like information, especially information that will stick with you-- Try and look at an onion from here on out and not think of me, Juno, I dare you."

I snort, "You're something more delicious than onions, Illario, of that I'm sure." I could see him shake his head as he looked back to the fire. Was that maybe not the right thing to say? He had taken the teasing so well until now, I guess I'm just surprised this would be what breaks him.

"You could find out for sure, if you'd like." And then he steps away, choosing to focus his attention on raising the tents for the evening instead.

Damn that... was actually pretty smooth. He could switch from complete fool to quite charming at the flick of a wrist. That was almost more impressive than the onion.

"What did you just drop in the pot?" Javier sighs, and I turn to see him shooting Lucanis with an accusatory glare.

"Hmm?" Lucanis tips his head, feigning innocence "I didn't, what do you mean?"

"Lucanis, I'm standing right here."

"I did not add anything!"

"It smells like peppercorns and garlic."

"Perhaps it was divine intervention," Lucanis suggests with a shrug. Ah, the powers of a rogue. Using stealth to be able to change the flavor of a dish to your liking. You'd never know he was in line to succeed the most powerful Talon within the Crow Houses.

"You're lucky I like you, Dellamorte."

I sit on the ground in front of the fire and turn my attention to snacking on my sweet pepper, one of the few things I packed from the estate to munch on throughout the day. We were so caught up in talking for most of the ride, I never even remembered to eat. Maybe it's a weird thing to snack on, but I loved peppers. I love that they have crisp skin and somehow a sweet and savory taste rather than the sweet and tart you would get from a fruit.

Mid bite, there's another accusatory voice above me, "What are you doing?"

Teeth sunk into the pepper, I look up at Lucanis, unsure how to answer him when the answer is so obvious. I settle for continuing to bite into the pepper while maintaining our staring contest.

"You wait until dinner is cooking to snack?" Lucanis crosses his arms, and I wipe at my lip with my pinky. Never have I had to defend my right to snack before.

"It's an appetizer?" I suggest.

"It's a pepper ."

"Don't let him talk to you that way," I stick my lip out and stare at my pepper fondly. "He can't feel a fraction of what I feel for you, pepper." I press the pepper to my lips, placing a delicate kiss against it, before returning it to my teeth.

"I go through the trouble of sneaking ingredients into the pot, and you're going to eat like a bird." Lucanis sighs, taking a seat on the ground beside me.

"It is called Crow Feed," I lift a finger and point up to the cauldron where Javier stood impatiently, "And I can say with confidence that even if I wanted more, Javier will be taking a double portion. Besides, peppers are like the ultimate snack!"

Lucanis raises an eyebrow at this, a disapproving grimace on his face, "That is an ingredient. You aren't supposed to eat that as a meal. Do they feed you at the De Riva Estate? Be honest."

I roll my eyes, "It's an old habit I can't break, okay? I just like it, peppers taste so different when you cook them."

"That's the point of cooking it, Juno."

"You know what, I'm not sitting here judging you for eating... Whatever it is you eat."

It occurs to me, sitting together in the dirt, that there is quite a lot I don't know about Lucanis. Everything we know about each other is either words on a page or shared moments, and there weren't that many, even now. I could tell you he's great in combat, he's the likely pick for the First Talon Successor, that he likes cooking and apparently poetry... but what else did I even know about Lucanis?

He likes coffee?

That's still nothing. Who was he before I crashed into his life? Does he have dreams outside of the crows? What are his favorite foods? Does he look like his mom, or maybe his dad? How did he meet Viago? Do our morals align? What does he think about at night, apart from when he claims to think of me? If you peeled back every layer and broke him down to a simple core-- Who was Lucanis Dellamorte?

He surprises me every day, so I can't even claim to know.

But I wanted to.

The dish didn't wind up as dreadfully bland as Lucanis claimed the original to be, though I imagine that had much to do with him packing his own ingredients to slip into the cooking pot while nobody else was looking. It is hard to imagine how it would have tasted with just rice and onions, but I wasn't exactly eager to find out either.

Around the witching hours, I found myself awake. The particular fact wasn't too strange, I had been tossing and turning in the night pretty frequently lately, but it was strange that I couldn't even think of a particular reason why.

I just want to be relaxed enough to sleep. The more tired I am, the more I put myself at risk on this mission. That was my justification for tiptoeing out of my tent, towel and change of clothes in tow, and making my way down the hill from our camp to the river's edge.

Surely, scrubbing my skin free of the day would wash away the inability to sleep.

It was on the cusp of Autumn, so the water was at the warmest it would be for most of the year, with the sun beating down on it all day. It was just warm enough to not feel cold, but not warm enough to give no relief from the heat that still remained in the air of the evening.

I knew it was the right decision the moment the water rose up to my armpits, cooling off my skin in an instant. There truly was something about the moments where the heat of your body leaves you all at once, like sticking your foot out from underneath the warm covers to be kissed by the cool nighttime air. It was everything.

It was only when I was tipping my head back, letting the tips of my ears touch down into the water, that I heard I was no longer alone at the river's side. My ears burned once more, and I turned away from the bank he stood, wondering if I should maintain any semblance of decency or if I should simply throw caution to the wind.

"You could at least say hello , so I'm not surprised when you show up." I suggest, and his laugh that comes from somewhere deep in his chest brings both relief and panic to mine.

It was just Lucanis. It was Lucanis.

"Why, so everyone else could wake up and soil this imagery? No, I prefer to save this memory in my mind without anyone else in it." Lucanis steps to the water's edge, and I'm already spiraling through a million scenarios in my brain and each and every single one ends with him touching me.

"Why did you come down here?" I ask.

" To worship. "

That was, surprisingly, not one of the scenarios I had in mind-- but it wasn't a bad thought. And it’s certainly on my mind now.

"Are you going to come in here?" I try so much to sound enigmatic, like my voice isn't shaking and my body trembling and my lips damn near begging-- but I don't.

He doesn't even speak, he just begins stripping off his clothes and I have to whip my body to turn back around before I see all of him and involuntarily snap my hips up to attention, ready for his praise.

Good Gods , Juno, calm down .

I shut my eyes, but I feel his fingertips ghost over my arms, pulling his own arms around me and leaning my back into his chest. He was so warm in comparison to the water.

He's not even doing anything to me and there's some part of my fucked up brain that wishes he'd destroy me in such throes of passion that the gods themselves would part the clouds just to look down on us from the skies in envy.

"Is this what you were hoping for," His lips are pressed to my ear, his hot breath gliding against the canal, even that entry is enough to make my heart leap, "When you were reading that poem earlier? Or shall I fall to my knees and pray ?"

I'm breathless, speechless, soundless-- I tip my head back against his chest, drowning in the feel of his arms around me. "Did you like that? Wrote that one just to watch you squirm." I manage a smile, despite my heart making thunderclouds in my throat. Admittedly, out of the two of us right now, I was the one closest to squirming.

"I did," He answers, his lips dragging down from my ear to the nape of my neck, barely touching and making me lose my mental hold on myself. "Your words usually tend to leave a... lasting impression ." He puts a gentle kiss to my pulsepoint, and I shiver against the drag of his lips.

" Lucanis ," Its half a whisper, half a whine-- whispering because I'm afraid if I let my voice out at seemingly normal decibel, my wanton noises will be heard all the way up the hill, and whining because in the back of my head I knew that if I became addicted to Lucanis Dellamorte, I would be fucking up any respect I had garnered with the Fifth Talon and I'd fall right back down to square one, where Leo watched my every move.

Lucanis' lips kept making small presses to my neck, which grew in both intensity, frequency and size as he traveled to the base of my neck. I understand his damn letter now, how it feels unlike anything I'd ever felt before and I knew it would also be the last thing I think about before bed. I don't know if I'll even catch my breath again.

"Lucanis," I say again, but this time he brings his attention right up to my face, placing a kiss to my cheek, to my temple, and I have to turn my head away before he reaches my lips.

And I hate that I have to, but I do .

"I'm sorry," I squeeze my eyes shut, every muscle, vein and bone in my body fighting the control of my mind. "I-If.. If I let that happen, I will lose myself to you, completely," I let out a breathless laugh and looked up at the skies.

Sorry to disappoint you, gods .

"I don't want a whirlwind romance with you, Lucanis," I lean my head into him, my hands finding his arms still wrapped around my chest. "And that's the path we're on, always full force and always so fast. I don't want to lose you before I've even started to understand you." I slide a hand up behind me, dragging my fingers up to hold the top of his shoulder. "You don't know all of me."

He's quiet for a moment, pressing his cheek against my temple, "Nothing I'm seeing so far makes me want to look away."

He really, really needs to stop saying things like that.

"They could , though," I pull from Lucanis' arms and turn to face him, "I just want time, Lucanis. I want you and I want time, so that I can know you and see you in the ways you deserve to be seen," I feel my entire body cover in goosebumps, just looking at him was setting my body alight. "I deserve that too, to be known, truly. So, if you can handle that, and you still are okay with sneaking out to meet me, then I'd like to start there, because if I let you near my lips I will devour you until you have nothing left to give."

"And I'd let you ," He counters, stepping into my personal bubble again. He reaches for my hand, pulling it up out of the water and placing it on his chest, "I'd let you take every bit of me if it made you feel whole," He keeps his hand over mine in the center of his chest, I'm not sure if the stammering beat I feel is the blood pumping through my veins or his heart beneath my palm. "But if you do not feel seen, if there is more to you that you feel I must know first, then I will give you time. I will give you as much and all of my time that you are willing to take."

I don't have words again. He does that a lot. They just rise up out of my heart and fly away, leaving me feeling more exposed without an answer than I am without clothes.

"Thank you," My thumb rubs slowly across his chest, "You.. you're welcome to kiss elsewhere just--" I groan, pulling both my hands back to cover my face. "That sounds awful."

"That sounds like a good middle ground," Lucanis chuckles. "I like when the negotiations make themselves."

And with that, he finds his way back to my neck, never too harsh to leave marks, but just enough to make me never want to leave the water.

I'd let myself drown if it always felt like this.

Chapter Text

Docktown was an interesting place. It seemed like it was both an incredibly rich and incredibly poor area, with the most affluent people living in the heights, and the poor living closer to the docks. The crow meeting place was indeed in the basement of a cafe, a pretty conspicuous one at that, there were cats all over the inside of the building.

That's not a problem, per se, but it is if you're trying to work and every brain cell you have just wants to focus on petting the animals.

The basement itself wasn't huge, this seems more like a stopping point for small groups of assassins to meet and less like an actual hub. The lighting was mostly candles, every piece of paper with information on the target and contract itself were held to a wooden wall by a knife, and there was no seating area-- If you're here, you're working.

"There's a set of docks not far from the main port, out past the beaches-- We've been tipped off that our Slavers might be using these docks as their rendezvous point," Javier reaches up to the wooden wall, dragging his finger over a map pinned to the wall, "I need intel to run a stake out, when there's any sign of movement, someone needs to report back. If we can get more than one slaver, the rest of the crew is paid more-- which they prefer," Javier looks back to me, his eyes scanning over Illario and Lucanis as well. "Remember, you are here to observe-- quietly . Do not engage under any circumstances , and when you see this man--" His finger whips back to the wall, pointing to a sketch drawn of a man, his light hair was swept up into a coiff, he had thick eyebrows that sat close to his eyes, he was human, as far as I could tell from the sketch, and he was wearing some sort of hooded robe. "-- That's my target, my contract. You leave him to me. " 

From what was described in the contract, the target was likely Venatori or working for Venatori, and it's entirely unclear what happens to those they kidnap, but they don't come back. I can see why Javier took this contract, it wasn't just a hit; it was essentially a rescue mission. If we could take out the target before their ships left Docktown, we might be able to at least save whoever was being held captive for the latest shipment.

"Illario, Lucanis -- Get Juno close, but not too close . Her ears can pick up more than yours, it's imperative you do not distract her so she can get any and all information, just in case our target is a no-show."

"Yes sir," Illario answers, his hand resting on the dagger on his hip. We may not be hired to be the muscle for this job, certainly not paid for it, but having self defense items was important; you never knew when things could take a turn for the worse. My mage knife stayed in my holster on my thigh, and my throwing knife from Arlo remained tucked under my leather waist cinch, well concealed against my form.

It's funny how you can form an attachment to something that had been used so despicably against you-- like Stockholm syndrome, but with a knife.

We accepted our orders from Javier, and the three of us made our way to the cliffs above the beaches. A second intel team would be moving in the shadows of the night, tucking into beach caves and abandoned buildings to trail anyone coming or going from the suspected docks. The nice thing about this particular area was the high cliff faces made the docks have a bit of a breeze, meaning anyone trying to talk down by them would have to speak up over the wind-- their voice would carry to my ears better. The cherry on top was the nearly full moon, providing enough light to be able to look down upon the docks and see all activity clearly. Atop the cliffs, I felt more like a gargoyle or vigilante than I felt like a crow, but above all else-- I felt good. I felt right working this mission.

It was once the night fully set in, that moves started to be made; a boat pulled into port with a deep hull indicating ample storage below the deck-- a classic indicator of a slaver ship, but no one captive in sight to prove this was the target. My eyes couldn't find the second intel team, it was likely they were tucked into a cave witnessing the same activity.

The ship was manned by several people, all dressed in dark robes, with hoods blocking their faces from view. They kept their heads tipped low when they spoke, always gathering close by one another to talk; meaning the wind drowned out their voices effortlessly.

Damn .

I look back at Lucanis, who's zeroed in on the same targets I am, he's squinting, like he's trying to watch their mouths for movement despite their faces being shaded by their hoods. Leaning forward from the cliff gave me nothing.

I needed to get closer.

I stick my hand out, gaining Lucanis and Illario's attention- I use my index finger, middle finger and thumb to gesture at all of us, then gesture to a path that leads to the docks.

" Closer ," I mouth, not letting out a sound. Lucanis gives a nod, looking to Illario who returns the gesture. We crouch, keeping our bodies low as we move quickly and quietly down the rocky terrain to the beach.

"--- ves and children--"

"--es, down--"

Each piece of the conversation I was only just catching as we inched closer. We reached a hollowed shack, the windows blown out and providing a lookout directly to the docks. It was actually surprising the second team wasn't taking up lookout in this building-- it seemed all too perfect.

"Did we get enough to meet the quota? They don't like having the auctions unless it's going to be full." One of the hooded men is tying the ship to the docks, making several loops of a knot around a dock piling.

"About 15, sir," The other responds, rushing over to tie another rope to a piling in the front, "But we were able to get several children and 4 elves, so we will be paid handsomely, regardless."

The Tevinter Imperium truly disgusted me. The only place in all of Thedas where slavery was still legal, they made laws against it only to return to their old ways months later when a new king came to power. How is it that the Chantry operates in a place so dark? I guess that's a dumb question, the Andrastian Faith had always been particularly racist to elves-- It was only after Inquisitor Lavellan that Thedas saw a small shift in how the Elven people were treated.

But that influence didn't touch Northern Thedas at all, especially not the Tevinter Imperium.

It made my blood boil. First, my mother and father, then all those that aided the Champion of Kirkwall, and most recently Inquisitor Lavellan-- how many elves needed to dedicate their lives to saving the world before we gained some semblance of respect or true freedom? At what point could the corruption be cut right at the heart?

"The carriages are arriving," My eyes shoot over to the taller of the two men at the docks, "Be prepared to sweat, boss likes to get these transfers done as quickly and as quietly as possible. We leave as soon as we're done loading."

I looked at Lucanis, seeing if he heard what I did. He gives a nod and I gesture over my shoulder with my head, " Javier, go ."

Lucanis slips out of the house, footsteps drowned out by the wind as he races back to the cafe to retrieve Javier and the assassins.

"I picked up some rats along the way," A third man calls from a carriage approaching, one of three lined with two rows of captives on each, chained together at the wrists. I swat at Illario as I get a line of sight on the third carriage-- where three Crow recruits sit, chained at the wrists as well.

Shit.

They must have been seen tailing the carriages and got caught. I can't blame them, these men were towering, boulders of men-- taking one down would be hard, not to mention three.

Two slavers on the docks, two on the ship, three in carriages. Seven in total, more than we had initially anticipated, but not impossible for the team assembled-- there were at least 9 assassins waiting at the cafe, and no one knew how to plan an attack better than Javier, there was a reason he was the one teaching me tactics.

"Crows? Bit of a risk putting them on the ship, boss, don't you think?" I look to see which figure responds.

"They're young, these aren't crows, they just want to be. If they're going to throw their lives away, we might as well make a profit off of it." Okay. Middle carriage, dark robes with red adornments-- he may have a hood, but that is Javier's target.

"You don't suspect there's more of them waiting to ambush?"

"-- There was only three of them, no one else in sight. Plus if taking the scouts down was this easy, the crows in Docktown are weaker than we suspected." He gestures to the back of his cart. "Now get to loading, we needn't push our luck either way."

The two grunts on the dock start towards the carriages, pulling people off the carriages by the chains on their wrists. Some fought against the chains, against their pulling-- but they were strong, and most of the people held captive were not. My heart practically dropped to my stomach as I watched two young boys being pulled off the carriages, their eyes full of tears and their sobs beginning to echo through the harbor.

"Dammit, shut him up! "

I couldn't help the look of horror that twisted onto my face as one of the two hooded men raised his hand high, bringing it down hard against the face of the boy.

He couldn't have been more than 8, maybe 9? He was small, skinny. He went flying to the ground at the strike. I could feel my mana bursting inside of me, fueled by rage.

"Don't hurt him!" The other boy, even smaller, piped up, shielding the one that was struck to the ground.

"Pipe down!"

Where was Javier? Where were the assassins? Surely, coming from the cafe couldn't take THIS long? Were they trying to get a hold on which one was their target?

As the figure in the red adorned robes approaches the back of the carriage, a man, maybe in his early twenties, raises his foot back in an instant and swiftly kicks the man in the chest, sending him flying to the ground, knocking off his hood as he flails trying to regain balance.

He looked identical to the sketch.

So why is no one going in? Why is no one helping?

"You will live to regret that," The man is quickly back up on his feet, grabbing the offender by his hair and pulling him off the carriage. He holds him in place and brings his fist down on the man's face, not once, but twice-- holding him still so he can look him in the eye. "I will take great pleasure in seeing you go to your death at the hands of the highest bidder."

"Get down, knife ear, before I make you," Another muscle is pulling people off the first carriage-- an elf not much older than myself being forced to start walking to the ship, knocked in the back of the head every time she attempted to stop and resist.

So much violence. They were just trying to keep their lives, but they stood no chance when they were chained trying to fight these men, especially not the children.

My heart was twisting in my chest like a knife-- How was no one doing anything? If they load everyone before Javier's team gets here, they will take off, and all these people...

Mythal'enaste , what would happen to them? Who wanted to take kids this young? And for what? I dread to even think it.

"I said PIPE DOWN!"

The way time slowed around Lucanis Dellamorte, it was happening again-- here, but he was nowhere in sight. No, this was just me, in my heart racing horror, watching as some piece of absolute shit lifted his foot up off the ground, making a child-- no taller than my thigh holster-- recoil in fear. The young boy lifted his arms up to protect his face, but that man wasn't aiming for his face, no... That kick would land on his chest. He’d be lucky if he came out of it without broken ribs.

I barely gave Illario a moment to see the rage in my eyes before I'm out of the shack, mage blade in hand, lightning firing down on the man before he could drive his foot into the chest of the boy. That launched the slaver back a few yards, but I was now in the open, facing down all 7 of the men on my own.

SURELY, NOW, RIGHT?

But no, time resumes its usual pace, and it's all I can do to make note of who out here was a victim of the slavers, and who was going to be my victim if the Crows didn't make an appearance soon. The attacks were an onslaught, these men weren't all just stealth rogues, one was a mage, and there was a warrior coming down off the ship with sword in hand.

Illario was beside me in an instant, large daggers in each hand and covering my left side.

"This was NOT the plan--" He shouts, kicking back a rogue as he approaches, their blades clashing.

"Plans change when Lucanis doesn't run fast enough!" I slash my mage knife towards the warrior, sparks firing out of my blade in a sporadic line, cracking like a whip as it moves. I manage to jump out of the way as an arrow is fired in my direction from one of the carriage drivers. The man who was initially knocked off his feet is back up and charging towards me, the warrior from the ship also rapidly encroaching on my space, and the man in the red robes has taken out his staff, hurling spells in Illario's direction.

In a panic, I throw a magic circle at the rogue Illario was fighting, his legs immediately freezing to the ground. I raise my mage knife up, clashing against the warrior's sword. He was strong, the impact knocked me back, directly into the arms of a second warrior who was the man I initially knocked down. The man held my arms back, knocking my mage knife to the ground and trying to restrain my wrists.

I wouldn't let my training fail me, weapon or no weapon, a bird's gotta sing .

I pull my chin to my neck, slamming my skull back into the face of the man behind me, his arms slipping from restraining me and holding his face immediately, giving me time to walk through Arlo's words-- Solar plexus. My elbow drives back into the man, likely striking his abdomen rather than the nerves I was aiming for, but he folds forward regardless. Instep. My feet may be small, but the crows uniform boots had steel in the base. I brought my heel down onto the center of the man's foot as hard as I could, hearing a sickening crunch beneath it. It almost made me lose focus. Almost . The man's hands had come off his face, now was my chance-- I spin on my left toes, reeling my right arm back low. The man was so much taller than me, the upward strike was nothing. Either I heard his cartilage snap free of its natural position, or his nose broke against my hand, but either way I drew it back covered in the blood pouring out of his nostrils. I used that same fist to throw his shoulder down while my knee drove up into his waist, a hard hit to his groin.

He, in particular, deserved that, and the groans from his lips were the prettiest tune I had heard in a while.

I use his body to shield myself from oncoming arrows, two flying right into his shoulder and back, and the man fell slack. I dip out of the way just in time, scooping my dropped knife up off the ground and immediately engaging back in combat with the first warrior.

And then finally, I heard him.

"Why am I not surprised you can't follow any orders !?" From across the docks, out past the carriages, Javier instantly engages in combat with the mage in charge. I find Illario in my line of sight, slipping down under the legs of one Rogue and knocking them off their feet. A crow appears in a cloud of smoke, driving his daggers into the chest of the downed man. There's another assassin who looks like she flies down from the sky, landing behind the rogue frozen to the ground and quickly dragging her blades across his throat.

"You've got legs for days, and you couldn't run any faster?!" I yell back to Javier, who cackles like a madman while still dodging attacks from the mage-- his target.

"We came as fast as we could," Lucanis appeared beside me, pulling himself from stealth to take on the warrior still hell bent on coming after me. "It's not easy navigating this damn city at night."

"So you got lost ?" I ask, a smirk forming on my lips as I hurl spells towards one of the two rogues remaining by the carriages, careful not to let it hit any of the trafficking victims. Lucanis growls in response, and I catalogued that into a far shelf in the back of my mind to replay later-- when there wasn't children witnessing intense bloodshed.

Illario and I both met in front of the kids at the same time, and he looks to me with respect in his eyes and he uses a key set, presumably taken from one of the downed slavers, to free the children of their restraints. I am quick to pick up both kids, one on each hip, and run them to the safety of the shed I once stood in. I place them in the far back corner, hoping they would refrain from trying to look out the windows or entryway.

"Listen to me," I speak in a hushed tone, as gentle as I could be, "I need to go help those other people, can you wait right here for me? Will you stay right here until I come back to get you?"

The older of the two, a red welt on his face where he had been backhanded, nods his head, and I give him a pat on the head, before turning and taking off back out the door. I rush to Javier's side, chaos in every space around us-- Crows' ganging up on  the remaining rogues and warrior, no one daring to touch Javier's target.

"Any bright ideas? I can't even get close to him at this rate," Javier grits his teeth, side stepping to avoid another shot of ice magic bursting at him. I run through scenarios in my head; I engage in combat, just enough to distract the mage-- no, he'll definitely get me with ice magic at close range . I'll be skewered. Send Javier into stealth? No, this mage has crazy good instincts, he won't be able to sneak up on him -- just like the other recruits couldn't stay hidden. We needed to get close enough to drive a damn dagger in his heart, but there's no way to reach him from this far--

Unless.

"Javie," I cast a few spells towards the mage, using my free hand to pull my throwing knife out of my pocket, "Did Arlo ever teach you how to relieve stress?" I flash the knife at him, and Javier looks from the knife to the mage, getting a moment's reprieve from the onslaught of attacks to catch his breath.

"That won't be enough to kill him , Juno--"

"It doesn't need to kill him. It just needs to hit."

I use what was remaining of my mana to summon a storm around the slaver boss, quick to sheathe my mage blade and whip a small vial out of my pocket, uncorking it in an instant and pouring it over the blade.

"Is that?" Javier looks to the vial with wide eyes.

"Viago called it ' Up and Adde r', up for the way it spikes your heart rate to lethal levels--"

"--And Adder for deadly viper venom." I give a nod, passing my throwing knife to Javier, who shakes his head in disbelief.

"If this works, I'll promote you my damn self--"

"Go Javie, I'll distract him. Just don't fucking miss!" I pull my knife back out, waiting for Javier to go into stealth before pulling my storm from the mage. I didn't have much left in me-- I'd have to get closer.

I try to stagger my steps, not moving in a straight line one way or the other as I rush the mage, making quick slashes of static that launch towards him. I had no idea how much power he had, or if he could summon any greater spells than I had already seen, but I had to keep moving if I wanted to stay alive.

Because something told me pulling this man into a salsa dip wouldn't save me this time .

I duck low to avoid large stalactites of ice being hurled at me, sliding past the mage's feet and swiping at his boots with my knives, the resistance pulling me to a stop. I jump up as high as I can, flipping to turn around and face the mage once more, closer than I had been previously and now in what I would dub the "danger zone" when fighting a mage.

When at range, I had the advantage of dodging, of seeing it coming.

At close range, I did not .

It came first in the form of ice stabbing into my bicep, and my hiss nearly broke my concentration, but I kept moving around the mage, trying to leave an opening for Arlo. A second piece of ice barely scrapes my cheek, leaving not just a scratch but a large scrape in its wake.

" Little bird ," His voice echoed, but I could pinpoint the source no problem-- 15 feet back, 8 feet up. "Time to duck!"

So I drop, my leg sliding out behind me as my hands hit the ground. I hear the hit before I see it, the thump of the knife landing solidly in the man's chest at a high speed-- it was unmistakable. I gaze up at the mage, who pulls the knife from his chest-- and when there's the smallest amount of blood, relief washes over me.

It's not as instantaneous as I thought, you can watch the man's face turn red as he clutches at his chest, trying to find the reason for his racing heart. His eyes find mine, saliva bubbling up out of his mouth-- he drops the knife to the ground, tipping backwards seconds after.

And he was gone.

There's no more sounds of clattering knives, just the sounds of chains falling.

I pick up my knife, using the man's robes to wipe the blade free of remaining poison, before tucking it into an external pouch, deciding it wise to not keep it up against my skin. When I pull myself to my feet, I can feel eyes on me. Javier was there, mouth hanging slightly open like he couldn't believe that worked -- neither could i -- but there were other eyes too. Crows, recruits, children, elves, humans-- Assassins and victims alike, looking to Javier and I.

" The crows send their regards, " One of the female assassins drives a kick into the rib of the man whose nose I broke.

" Antivan Crows ?" A hushed whisper rings out.

"We were rescued by crows!"

"I didn't know crows did that!"

I look back at Javier before a thought rolls into my head-- the kids.

My feet took me to the shed without a second thought, relief crashing over me in waves when I saw both the boys still tucked in the corner of the shed where I left them.

"You did so good, you were so brave," I whisper, pulling them both into my arms. "It's okay now, you're safe ." The older boy's shoulders drop, and he clings tightly to my shoulder. I carry both the boys back out to the docks, looking over the crowd. "Where are these boys' parents?" I ask, watching as the man who kicked the Slaver in the chest and the smaller elf both look at each other, before looking back to me.

"I'm afraid they... Well, they didn't make it. They were killed back in the caves we were being held in." The elf frowns as she looks over the two young boys in my arms, "I was trying to think of ways to look after them after that but I... I don't have a home, miss, I cannot take care of them."

The two boys clutch onto me tighter, clearly having heard the elf's words.

"If I may," Illario approaches from behind, looking from the man to the woman, "Should you be in need of a home, the crows have placements available." The two seemed shocked at the suggestion, but didn't seem immediately opposed. "We welcome all, regardless of background, especially when there's clear potential and loyalty. Might I ask your names?"

"Chance."

"Heir."

" I'll be a crow ," One of the boys in my arms whispers, and I feel my lips curl into a smile despite the situation.

"Oh yeah?" I whisper back, letting Illario engage in conversation with the two adults about the semantics of becoming a crow. "And what's the name of our next future crow?"

The little boy peers up at me, hazel eyes wide in awe, "Jacobus , my name is Jacobus." The young boy reaches across my chest to clutch onto the older boy, "And this is my cousin, Dareth ! We'll be crows, just like you ."

I feel the older boy, still shying into my shoulder, nod against me. I tuck his head under my cheek and look out over the scene, where the assassins collected evidence of the downfall of the slavers to turn in for pay.

"I bet you will, someday. When you become Crows, you'll be the best and brightest out there. Heroes ."

If speaking things into existence was possible, I'd say it a million times. My greatest wish is that by the time these two would even be sworn in, we could rebuild the Crows to be something better, where rescuing kids like these wasn't just about how much money we made off of it. Where using poison was a favored method of killing over cutting open throats. Where people like Javier could be spared if they wanted to be rid of this life.

Where I wouldn't inevitably get scolded for engaging in combat if it meant protecting a kid from getting hurt.

That hope would have to be the stream I use to wash the blood from my hands.

Because Gods know, there will be much of it.

Juno,

You best make it home without a scratch on you, or I will kill Javier myself.

On second thought, he may die anyways, for placing you on a mission with tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumb.

For everyone's sake, I pray you take care of this job quickly and quietly, that last thing we need is to bring more attention to you.

-Viago

~-~-~-~-~

Chapter Text

The silence of the scrutinizing eye of Viago De Riva was enough to make one break out into a cold sweat. If you didn't know why he was upset, you would play through every event that happened in the past month to figure out what you did that he expects an apology for.

If you did know why Viago was mad, you knew there was nothing you could do to fix the situation, that includes apologizing.

I kept my gaze cast to the bookshelf beside me, refusing to meet Viago's blizzard of a glare. He had backed me into a corner so fast I had absolutely nowhere to run to escape him.

I could feel his eyes; on the scrape on my cheek, the scuff on the toe of my boots, the blood in my hair, my uniform where a piece had been sliced out to stitch the wound on my bicep. It felt like he was calculating the damage, doing the math out in his head to decide how angry he was.

When he left without speaking, hurrying up the stairs and around the corner, I prayed for Javier. I don't know who I prayed to, or if any god could even save him-- But I do hope Viago doesn't beat him entirely to death.

"Juno," The voice of the Fifth Talon comes from the sitting room, and I steel myself before stepping into the room, watching once again as an attendant shuts the doors behind me and leaves us to talk. "Take a seat."

Matteo gestures to the couch across from him, where we had spoken not all that long ago, and I make note that this time, the coffee is not already poured into a cup at the table in front of me. Seems like even Matteo hates to see a good cup wasted, though I had no pipe with me today.

"I've read over the mission reports," Matteo adjusts some gold glasses higher on the bridge of his nose. Here we go, what punishment awaits me, now? "Engaged in combat, directly attacked the target, got wounded, kept witnesses alive..." He lowers the papers to give me an accusatory glance.

Do I push my luck? Do I stay silent?

"They were going to get away--"

"I wasn't done, just watching for a reaction," Matteo raises the paper back up, reading more from the report. "Aided in the assassination of 7 targets resulting in extra pay for the 9 assassins, provided weapons and poison to the hired assassin, rescued 3 recruits from captivity and recruited four civilians."

Wait a minute, I didn’t recruit them. Illario did.

I watch as he tosses the papers down on the coffee table, his hands folding into his lap as he took a deep breath before starting, "You disobeyed the contract holder, which is, in itself, one of the most disrespectful things you can do to a superior," I wince a little, yeah, I guess I had forgotten that was a thing, "If Javier did not have such a detailed report speaking your praises, you might have lost your chances at being an assassin before you even got your own first contract."

Bless you, Javier.

"And to speak of providing support to your superior, rescuing other scouts and then on top of all that, recruiting civilians to the crows," I watch as the corner of his mouth quirks up a bit. Have I impressed Matteo De Riva? "I'd be remorseful if I did not say that you hold great potential, and that I can respect the eagerness to dive into combat."

I watched his eyes dart over my face and arm, much like Viago's had, but his gaze felt heavier, it lingered more.

"Foster that bloodlust in you, Juno, it will get you far," Matteo pours himself a cup of coffee from the kettle on the table, pouring some into mine as I'm sure a gesture that it wasn't poisoned, as if that was the reason I didn't want to drink coffee with him last time.

But as much as I hate it, as much as I hate him, it sounds like I've made quite the step in the right direction, and perhaps going forward I can avoid knives in my legs if I stay on his good side.

I bring the cup of coffee to my lips, taking a cautious sip before placing it back down on the platter-- a returned gesture to signify that I was comfortable, despite being undoubtedly NOT comfortable at all, and despite the coffee being so disgustingly bitter I was half tempted to spit it back into the cup.

"Since Javier was able to complete this contract in time, he will be able to pledge his loyalty to the Crows and I as his talon at the induction ceremony scheduled for this weekend. You may not be a full fledged crow, but you are expected to attend the ceremony as a De Riva. You have not taken my name yet, but you are under my roof, and thus in my care."

I truly expected Matteo to be the last person who would ever consider me a De Riva, let alone imply that I would take his name down the road.

"Each ceremony is held at the First Talon estate. Every house attends, every crow attends. I expect that you will be on your best behavior that evening. I will have a meeting with Caterina before the night is through to discuss the recruits you brought in. I suggest keeping your head down so none of the 8th Household can figure out why you look so familiar." Yeah that's actually a fair point, "It is a formal occasion, I will have Andarateia take you out shopping for a dress."

"Oh," I lean forward on my good arm, propping my elbow on my leg. I want to say ' well, that won't be necessary, I think I have just the dress ', but a day out with Teia could be exactly what I needed this week. "I appreciate that, thank you."

"I expect you will be joining in as intel on several more missions going forward, I look forward to your dedication."

I take one more polite sip of coffee before leaving the sitting room, rolling my shoulders to get the feeling of Matteo's eyes off me. As I begin to head up the stairs to get a change of clothes, Javier practically vaults past me, being chased in hot pursuit by Viago, who had a needle in hand.

"It's just a paralytic, Javier, what are you so afraid of?" Viago taunts, trying to block any path Javier can make out of the house.

"I'm not afraid of the paralytic," Javier looks at me, gesturing wildly at Viago. He wanted help handling this, "I'm afraid of what will happen to me after!"

"Perhaps you should have been considering the consequences when you decided to bring a 16 YEAR OLD ELF on a TRAFFICKING CONTRACT, you idiot!"

A part of me was too tired to handle this, a part of me was curious how it would play out and a part of me pitied Javier-- which I guess was the biggest piece, since I made a decision to help him. I take a seat on the stairs, letting the tiredness really soak in and fill my eyes with tears. Javier manages to point at me before Viago can fully encroach on his space, and I hold Viago's gaze as I reach up and wipe some tears from my eyes, smudging my makeup in the process for added effect.

"What did you do?" Viago smacks Javier in the chest.

"Ow! Nothing, she just started crying."

Viago crossed the room to the stairs, kneeling down in front of me and capping his syringe before tucking it into his coat pocket. "That bad, huh?"

"Yeah," I answered, adding a pathetic sniffle. "That was a lot, and I'm tired and stitched up again. I just wanted to come home and see you and have you tell me I did a great job, but you didn't even talk to me. The first person to tell me I did a good job was Matteo ."

Was I exaggerating for effect? Sure. Was it still a little true, deep down? Yeah.

I wanted him to ask me a million questions. I wanted to be able to tell him about using all of my training to hold my ground, about using Arlo’s knife and Viago’s poison to take down a contract we couldn’t even get our hands on. But he’d rather be mad at Javier than be proud of me.

"I-I'm sure you did do a good job, Juno--" Viago brings a hand to my arm, a troubled look on his face, "But that still wasn't a good mission to send you on--"

"Because I can't handle it?" A few more very tired tears slid down my cheek, "I did handle it, you know."

"Because I don't want to see you on missions where you would be a profit," Viago pulls his arm bank and rubs a hand over the back of his neck. "You are 16, you are female and you're an elf; you are exactly the kind of person slavers go after because they fetch the highest prices in Tevinter," Viago stands, holding a hand out to help me up off the stairs and we ascend them together. "I don't doubt that you're capable of getting out of a tough spot, Juno, but I hate to see you in them in the first place, especially when I'm not there to help."

I stop in front of my bedroom door, "But you did help. More than you know-- Viago, we only took down that target because we had your poison. Things would have been far worse for both Javie and I if we had to rely solely on our own weapons. With your poison, we only needed a small wound."

"Then how did you get hurt?" Viago asks, his eyes drifting back over the scrape on my face.

"Just a little ice spell, I may have... well, I had to engage in combat with the target. A mage."

Viago flips his palms to the sky, a silent gesture of ' this is exactly what I fucking mean '.

"But I also was able to distract the target so Javier could use the poisoned throwing knife to hit the target, and we rescued the second intel team that was ambushed and I think I may have also inadvertently recruited more members to the crows... some children, also."

He's quiet while his hand slowly comes up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He thinks for a moment, eyes shut tight in irritation.

"And what did Matteo have to say about this?"

"Good job."

...

"what?"

"He said good job , that I show great potential." I shrug my shoulders, "That I should prepare to attend Javier's induction ceremony. That Teia would take me out to find a dress."

Viago chews my words, like there's something wrong with them but he has yet to put his finger on what, "I don't know whether to be pissed off or relieved that you somehow did not wind up in trouble--"

"Please be relieved, I am. And I'm tired, and I would like to shower and then sleep for 10 consecutive hours." I open my bedroom door, casting a glance at Viago over my shoulder, "Perhaps if you're decent to Javie, I'll consider taking you on my excursion with Teia, if that's what she wants."

Viago adjusted his posture, trying to find a way to stand that made it seem like he was unaffected by the offer, "She wants it." He answers, but with a small waver in his voice.

He's got it so much worse than I do. If he was anymore down bad for her, he'd be 6 feet under.

I shut my door behind me and took a deep breath, happy to finally have a moment to myself. I do enjoy the company of Javier, Illario and Lucanis; but there is something very special and very comforting in having a moment alone to process the entire journey.

And processing meant groaning into my pillow for ten minutes while I tried to focus on literally any other part of the weekend apart from the river.

It felt impossible, actually truly impossible.

At what point does a river of friendship become an ocean of intimacy? I kept building this dam higher and higher hoping I could stop the flooding, but somehow every intersection of us leads to an estuary. I have to fight the currents just to keep my head about water.

How is it that seemingly overnight Lucanis went from being ' awkward knife guy ' to ' aspirational poet '? Here to ‘Worship’ me? Are you fucking kidding ? 

I mean seriously, poetry books? When did he start reading poetry, had he always liked poetry? Could he tell I liked poetry and so he started reading poetry to impress me? Because while half of me was impressed, the other part of me felt like a feral mabari biting at my pillow.

And somehow, despite it feeling like the most difficult thing in the world to do, I was able to shut it off for a moment. I was able to ask for more time, and he was willing to give it. If there was any hope, any future, where I could see him without it being an issue with Matteo-- I had to make sure Matteo knew I was loyal to the Fifth house, that I wouldn't be leaving it.

And then, maybe after he sees that I'm not going anywhere, I wouldn't have to worry so much about allowing the current to take me out to sea, with a Lucanis that I had truly taken the time to know. I want to know his favorite foods, his favorite poems-- and I'd like for him to know me someday too. The me I was before I came here, my family and my friends; I'd like for him to get to know Juno Tabris-Arainai. She may only be a piece of who I turn out to be in the end; but she's still very much a part of me, and one that I cannot let go.

That isn't to say that I don't love every interaction with Lucanis, but rather to say that I don't feel like I deserve those interactions. If his affections boiled down to nothing more than a body on body experience, perhaps it wouldn't feel so awful to hide who I am. But for him to fall for me, in the direction we seem to inevitably head towards every time we're close to one another, I'd rather he loves all of me rather than just the pieces he sees. The pieces I choose to let him see.

Until I can tell him the truth, I hope he is content with poetry, with letters and with just Juno De Riva.

Lucanis,

I have come to realize you pull at me like the tides. In the darkest hours of night, you find me. When your hips brush mine and your lips find my neck, I find myself pulled under entirely, breathless in your grasp. If to be yours means to let your waves crash into me, then for you I would surely drown. I'll kiss at the tidepools of your body until my lungs burn with saltwater. 

I'll let the current pull me from shore if it means I'll stand just a little closer to the moon.

Yours,

Juno

I was going to need two birds.

Teia,

Matteo should be contacting you shortly about a shopping trip. Please agree, please come see me-- I'm fucking drowning.

-Juno

And as I open my window to call for the birds, another perches itself on the sill, a small scrolled letter attached to its leg. I guess it's a busy day for the birds.

Juno,

I have been unable to pull the events of our intel mission from my mind. I was always aware you were a good person, nearly all the De Rivas are, but you will forever stand out in my mind as the best.

You put everything aside to help two children in danger, you risked your life for them, complete strangers. I have nothing but immense respect for your actions, and I can only hope that by giving you complete credit for the recruitment of the people that were spared yesterday, that you avoid any cruel punishments for the events that transpired.

You are color in a gray cruel world, Juno. Just when I think the monochrome canvas of life has been filled, you come by and run pastels over everything. My respect for you grows with each passing day, and I hope to see so much more of the art you create in the world around you.

Never lose all that makes you bright, I fear the sadness of sepia would be too much on my heart.

Take care,

Illario

Poetry? From Illario? I fear I need more help than I initially thought.

~-~-~-~-~-~

Chapter Text

Juno,

I fear you've made error in comparing me to the moon, for you are far more like it than you realize. You shine so bright I could spot you in the darkness regardless of how whole you may or may not feel. I search for you in your absence, just to be caressed by your radiance when you return. Even the stars reach towards you in envy.

Every evening without you is dark, but I will stay up later tonight and look up into the skies.

Perhaps I won’t yearn for you as much, if I can gaze at the moon and be reminded of you.

Yours,

Lucanis

I probably paced my bedroom for 15 minutes after receiving a letter from Lucanis in the morning. Was I to spend the rest of my life teetering on the brink of insanity? Was I doomed the moment I met him? Was there ever a course of action I could've taken that would have freed me from wanting to spend every second of my life pressed against him?

And then there was Illario, who seemed to have found himself lost in a moment where I was authentically myself and had nothing but kind things to say in response; it was flattering at minimum, cheek warming undoubtedly and heart filling to boot. There were no ulterior motives, no push for any dominance like I had seen with Lucanis time and time again-- just genuine respect and admiration. It was endearing. How does one respond to letters that compliment themselves without sounding egotistical? How does one be humble without being degrading and self deprecating?

Why did these two always seem to have a knack for making me feel like every lie I tell or every truth I leave out made me undeserving of their affections? I felt ingenuine . Admired only for fragments of my soul.

My heart nearly launched out of my chest when I heard the sound of bird wings at my window, but was relieved to see it was not one of the messenger birds.

"Greetings to you, Purpose," I breathe a sigh of relief, "I'm happy to see you still hold true to your form."

"As do you," The spirit counters, moving over to the table and staring up at me curiously.  "Was your mission successful? Do you feel rewarded by achieving a goal?"

Hm, how do I answer that?

"Yes, and no . Perhaps a little of both," I pull out the chair at the table and take a seat, propping up my elbows but stopping myself before I lean my head on my bad arm. "The mission itself was a success, but that doesn't mean I feel rewarded by my actions, especially if it's going to be more of the same going forward. Work like this isn't black or white-- it's this gross mess of a gray area that I can only hope will lighten over time. It just feels like it's going to take a long time to get to the good part, and I think that I will often feel bad about the things I have to do. And perhaps regret for the things I want to do, but do not, in pursuit of something bigger."

"Is this not the first step, as you said?"

Well, yeah I guess I did say that.

"It is."

"Then find comfort in that knowledge, be rewarded for continuing to walk towards your goal, that you are still trying to do good in the long run," Purpose leans forward, hopping towards my hand and placing it's talons on the index finger of the hand I dropped back down to the table. "There may be times where your path must diverge off the trail you had planned, but that does not mean you won't ever reach your intended destination. Enjoying the journey can be just as much a goal as anything else, perhaps even more rewarding."

I couldn't help but shake my head in wonder, "You know, for a spirit, there is something decidedly tangible about the way you speak-- like this world is yours as much as anyone else's."

"I can hear your heart for miles," It's blue eyes stare up at me, and it tilts its head in a manner that makes it seem just like any other animal craving attention. "I know what words to speak simply because your desires and the truth of this world align greatly; I am drawn to you because you refuse to see it that way, you have yet to see how important you are." I pull my hand up, bringing the spirit bird up to meet me at eye level. "You are deserving, and having more than one goal does not limit you from fulfilling all of them. Let your path diverge, take the road less traveled by, and seek enjoyment on the nights where you cannot find peace. The journey will feel less exhausting then."

" Less traveled by , huh?" I reach up and scratch at the cheek of the bird, "I presume you were reading my books while I was gone?"

"It made the nights go by far quicker."

"I'm surprised you can just reach out and grab things, I didn't think sp--"

The door opens, and I nearly jump out of my seat as the bird on my finger flaps its wings. Viago is standing in the doorway, his eyebrow arched high as his eyes scan the room.

"Please tell me there's a rogue hidden in here, and that you aren't talking to a bird ," 

Uh , fuck. Something tells me Viago would not be in support of me speaking with spirits.

He steps inside, continuing to scan. "Maker, you are carrying on with a bird, aren't you? Did you hit your head on this mission? You do know it can't understand you, yes?"

Oh. OH, he just thinks it's a bird-- a bird bird. Not a spirit bird. Well, I guess it did look like a bird, so it was easy to make that assumption. Good.

"I find the birds to be better listeners than most companies in this house, actually." I purse my lips, standing and bringing Purpose to my window, "Back to the trees with you, little bird."

"Little bird-- Now you sound like a De Riva," Viago chuckles, stepping over to my dresser and patting the chest he gave me with a very small, but clearly proud, smile. "Are you expecting Teia today?"

Mhhhhm. There it is. I knew he couldn't possibly be coming here just to lecture me about chatting with birds.

"Shortly, actually," I respond, watching Purpose fly back to the trees on the property line. "Are you positive you want to tag along? It is simply shopping for dresses, or getting mine tailored, you may find yourself quite bored."

"I'd be far more bored here," Viago answers, his arms crossed tight around his chest, "And besides, no one knows Antivan fashion better than I." He smirks, and I draw my eyes over him. A satin shirt? That's Antivan fashion?

No thank you.

"Please forgive my doubts," I mumble, "Fashion in Orlais and Ferelden varies greatly from what you claim to be fashion here."

Viago huffs, "I'm well aware, we wear actual shirts in Antiva, not strips of fabric. "

"That is from my aunt-- that's Korcari Wilds fashion, not Orlesian."

"Your aunt lives out in the swamps!?" Okay Viago, relax, I can practically see you clutching your pearls.

"No actually, she's serving as an advisor to Empress Celene, so I'm sure she's dressed much more modestly than she has in the past." I walk to my bookshelf, thumbing through to see if I can figure out which books had been moved or read by Purpose.

"I'm not sure you can say anything to surprise me anymore, you could tell me you knew the King of Ferelden personally, at this point."

Well...

"I apologize for the interruption, Lady Andarateia Cantori has arrived." An attendant stops in the doorframe, stepping aside after introducing Teia's company.

"Teia!" I practically skip to the door, never so relieved to be in the company of another woman before in my life. "Thank you for coming."

"As if I'd miss this, it's like getting my own doll to play dress up with." Teia gives me a wide smile, her eyes practically closing with cheer. "Not to mention, you seemed very desperate in your letter."

"Teia," Viago greets, nodding to her with a smile.

" Viago ," she returns, though noticeably less amused. What happened? What did he do? "Shall we head out then, Juno?"

"Ah, I wanted to get your opinion first," I hustle to my dresser, pulling out a large wrapped package and pulling open the strings, "I've had this dress for a while, I wonder if this is maybe appropriate wear for the party?"

I pull the gown from the wrappings, holding it up to display it to Teia. Her eyes are wide in surprise as she inspects the dress, fluffing the chiffon and inspecting the embroidered details. "Where on earth did this come from?"

Didn't think that one through.

"I've had it for a while," a few weeks , Auntie sent it in the mail "It came from an old family friend." Leliana , more specifically, who wanted to dress up Auntie, but settled for me instead. But Teia would have to accept those answers and leave it at that.

"Yeah," she breathes out, her eyes fluttering down the dress "This should work quite well actually. Do you have shoes? Jewelry?"

"--No. Nothing like that. Still need help with that."

"Thank goodness, I was really looking forward to shopping." Teia takes the dress from me, folding it over and placing it on my bed. She interlocks her arm with mine, "Let's get out of here!"

"Shall we get lunch while we're out?" Viago asks, following as Teia pulls me towards the door.

"We?" Teia stops on her heel and turns to Viago, "This is a girl's trip, Vi."

"I--" Viago stops short, and I can see the absolute shock on his features. He takes a moment to process, then regains his composure. "Very well, at least let me get the door for you."

Viago steps around us, and I can see his brow furrow as he moves around us and down the stairs. It hurts my heart a bit, to see the hurt in him. I'd have to stop and get him a treat before I came home.

"Be safe," Viago reaches out and ruffles my hair before opening the door for us, leaving it open to watch us until we were entirely out the estate gates.

"Are we going to talk about that?" I ask, still arm in arm with her as we walk to the canals.

"Don't think too much into it," Teia responds. "That's how you keep them coming back, give them a taste and then take it away. Works every time."

"You're giving him the cold shoulder... to make him want you more ?"

"Precisely!"

"...And that works?"

"Oh, Juno," Her laugh rings like a melody in my ears, "How do you think we got to this point in the first place? Viago doesn't enjoy things he doesn't have to work for."

"Are all men like that?" I query, and watch the corner of her mouth twitch, like she had caught wind of something humorous.

"A lot of them, why do you ask ?"

"Oh I , I just--" I could lie . I could. I could not tell her anything and that could be that. Or I could tell her and cope and by the time I return home perhaps I won't continue to feel so torn. "Well, I suppose I've been having a more difficult time... ' cornering ' the Dellamorte boys, as you so delicately put it."

We approached the docks, paying the gondolier and choosing to take one of the smaller, uncovered gondolas up the canal to the market. Teia interlocks her fingers when she sits down, learning her elbows forward on her knees and staring at me expectantly. "Go on." She commands.

"I've been following your advice," I sigh, scratching at the back of my neck, "I've been writing to Lucanis, I've tried to maintain some upper hand in our conversations by being the dominant one in them, but he has bounced back full force and I just lose every time."

"He's been writing you back, then?" Teia asks, and I scoff. Boy, was he .

"He's sending me poems, Teia, telling me how he stays up at night thinking about me--" Oh shit, the kiss. Gods, I had to tell her that too, didn't I? "About how I may have wound up accidentally kissing his neck one day."

" OH ?" Teia's eyes were wide, but she was grinning ear to ear. "Pray tell, what made you do that?"

"It's a long story, but essentially I was very close and Javier rocked the boat. Literally rocked the boat, and sent me flying into Lucanis."

"He's meddling? I should have known." Teia chuckles, crossing her arms.

"Clearly it's working, considering Lucanis took me out on this beautiful date to take me to see an elven choir and--"

Wait.

Wait a second.

My eyes narrow on Teia, "Actually, now that I think about it, he mentioned you suggested that choir." Teia looks out at the water, avoiding my gaze. "Teia, spill." She moves her head to look up at the sky like she still can't hear me. "Dammit, Teia, tell me or I tell Viago you're playing games just to get him worked up."

"First of all --" Teia snaps her head down to me, narrowing her eyes, "Viago knows exactly what I'm doing. We do this, we've been doing this. If Viago and I don't do this ridiculous dance every few months, his ego would go through the roof," Teia crosses her arms and sits up straighter in her seat. "Secondly, I wasn't giving him any advice that told him exactly what to say, just letting him know your interests . I refuse to see how any of this is my fault."

"You've been giving him advice?" I shake my head, "Like what?"

"He wanted to take you somewhere special after your... well, your punishment. Viago told him the things he knew you liked in his letter to Luca, but I might have added a few additional things to it." She shrugs.

"You told me you stayed in bed when he wrote that letter," I mumble.

"Oh I did, I made Viago stand still so I could use his back as a writing desk," Teia tucks some hair behind her ears, her eyes distant for a moment, like she's reliving the memory in her head. "I only added a few poetry books he should read, the choir and maybe suggested he try to maintain the upper hand when it came to dealing with you."

"Teia! That's literally the same advice you gave me."

"Precisely." She chuckles. "Would you have preferred to wind up with a knife placed on your desk with no note or explanation? Because according to Viago, that's a threat and not a gift."

I don't know who was dumber in this scenario; Lucanis for leaving a knife in front of Viago and running off, or Viago for immediately assuming it was a threat.

"Is that why Viago seems to dislike Lucanis?"

"He doesn't dislike Lucanis, he just holds a grudge," The gondola stops at the market and Teia is first to step off onto the dock. "Besides, his money is in on Illario."

"Sorry?"

Teia turns, watching me step off the gondola and giving another nonchalant shrug, like she isn't flipping my world on it's head, "The bet, on who will confess their love first--"

"The WHAT?"

"Viago put money in on Illario, I put money in on Lucanis, Arlo says you, and Javier said all three of you would sooner die before confessing any feelings."

Why is it, every time I'm on these damn docks, I'm absolutely speechless? They have a BET ? They put actual money in a pot, and it's a bet on my love life?! And ALL of them, to boot? You would think Viago would be the one to discourage this altogether. I suppose he's just simply too prideful to be willing to lose, Javie probably taunted him into placing a bet.

I'm not even sure who I want to win, at this point.

"I’m thrilled my personal torture can be used to entertain you all," I rub my hand over my temple, "Like I don't have enough things to think about."

"Ah, then think them out loud, my friend. Let me hear your heart's struggles." Teia actually leads us past the market, rounding the corner to a street with several smaller boutiques. She pulls open a door for me and inside are some of the most beautiful heels I had ever laid eyes on. They might as well have been tiny pieces of art.

"If I can be completely candid with you-- and you mustn't speak of this to anyone-- my biggest concern is actually Matteo." She looks around the shop quickly, assessing our current company, likely to make sure this wouldn't make it back to the Fifth Talon. When she seems satisfied that the shop is safe, she nods to me.

"Not a word, I promise."

I reach over and pick up a shoe, holding it up in the light to see how the jewels in it sparkle, "I think he..." How do you even say this? "He might have a thing for elves. He's been odd recently."

Teia is quiet, so I pull my gaze back over to her-- There is no fury greater than the one I see in her eyes. "What do you mean by that?"

I put the shoe down, now incredibly uncomfortable that I have to say any of this out loud. "He's said a few things, looked at me a certain way, lingered... I didn't get in any trouble for going against Javier's direct orders on the mission we just returned from. He now seems... more eager for me to be sworn in as a crow. Like he may put me on a fast track to it. And he keeps pulling me aside to speak privately-- Maybe I'm just reading things wrong--"

"Has he touched you?"

My body nearly flinched at the suddenness of the question. She still looked like if I spoke the wrong words she would set the world on fire around us. "No," I responded. A half truth. He had touched me, but only as I was inches away from killing him.

Though I suppose his hands had lingered then, too.

"Listen to me, Juno," Teia takes a deep breath, pulling herself from whatever dark place she just went to. "If he touches you, if that touch lingers, or it leaves a terrible feeling in your gut-- it's already too late." Teia brings her hand up to squeeze her arm, turning her attention to the shoes on display. "When I told you that Antivan men cannot seem to resist our people; I spoke from experience. Matteo is in quite the position of power, you are under his roof, you are trying to join his house, you will have to pledge loyalty to him. He knows exactly what's at stake for you-- and he will exploit that to get what he wants." Teia pulls a pair of shoes from the rack, a black heel with some excessive straps up the leg. "If he touches you, you tell me. I will get you placed in another house."

"I can't do that, Teia," I counter. "I cannot leave Viago, or Javier or even Arlo to deal with that place all alone. I might be the only person capable of stopping Matteo and Leo from torturing them any further. I have the upper hand--"

"And what about when you don't? What then?" She shakes her head at me, "What will you do when you are backed so far into the corner you can only see him in your path?"

I felt like crying, in truth. I had this terrible habit of pretending problems weren't real, or they never happened at all, and I just live in my own little delusion. Now that I speak it out loud, it feels so much more real.

I didn't just have Matteo wrapped around my finger, he had his fingers wrapped around my throat.

"I'll pull him into it with me," I responded, "We can dance around and see who stumbles first." Teia seems even more upset by my answer, before letting out a sigh and seemingly shaking away my answer. 

"Just... Please do tell me if things get bad. We can figure something out."

"I will," I say, but I also don't feel confident in that answer. What constitutes as bad in this scenario? If I could get him so obsessed, then perhaps we could push Leo out of the Fifth house altogether. Perhaps he could focus so solely on me that he'd never even see Viago's plans of changing the crows coming. Maybe I could get him to designate Viago as successor earlier.

"I say you pick these," Teia changes the subject, picking up a pair of black silk heels, one strap around the ankle. Notably, the heel had a pinkish gold metal piece that went from the base of the heel to just under the top of the shoe, with tiny flowers and leaves set in gold. "You seem to prefer gold jewelry anyways, and the flowers match the embroidery of the dress."

I look over the shoes, then back to Teia, "Thank you," I say, trying my best to sound brave but my voice comes out a bit more like a breath of relief than anything else. "For caring."

Our shopping trip is, for the most part after that, uneventful. We selected some earrings and cuffs that were more suitable for my formal wear as well as one other embellished item, grabbed Viago some pastries (Teia informed me his favorite is actually called Cannoncini, which looks a bit like the cream horns I had seen back in Ferelden, but with a much more yellow creme filling) and then we sat down for lunch together where I told her all the tales of my intel mission, except the part that was too embarrassing to include.

I'd rather the river stay a special moment with Lucanis, one that I can't be teased about endlessly for the rest of my days.

"The First Talon estate is quite beautiful, bigger than even this one," Teia nibbles on another pastry as we walk to the front door of the De Riva household. "They have a massive fine art collection, some of the finest chefs and most importantly--- a large dance floor."

"Do they dance? After the ceremony?" I ask, actually surprised at this. I have only met 1 talon, but he didn't exactly seem the dancing type.

"Dancing, gossip, arguments-- Crows throw good parties," Teia shrugs, "Caterina really enjoys going all out for these things."

"Caterina being... First Talon?"

"Indeed," She smiles at me. "She's First Talon, Lucanis and Illario's grandmother, and also the woman who saved my life ." Teia leans against the entryway, holding onto her last few bites of pastry. "I thought for sure I was going to either rot in jail or have my hands cut off at minimum when I got caught stealing, but Caterina paid my way out. She invited me into her home, taught me how to hold my own-- She even pushed me into another household where she knew the Talon wouldn't be around much longer so that I could move up quickly and have a place for myself."

"She sounds like an amazing woman," I comment, though knowing that in the past she was the one who ordered the other crows to come after Papa, I'm not sure I believe it. "With a good taste in protege." That part was at least true.

My words made her huff out a laugh, looking up at the darkening sky like it had some inspiration for her. "It's the least I could do for her.  I hope you can meet her at the party, I'm sure it would piss Matteo off just a smidge."

I couldn't say if I wanted the same. Teia made her sound loving and lovely and almost maternal-- but she sent so many people after my parents, ordering them to kill my parents or kill themselves if they fail. How could this possibly be the same person?

The door opens, and Viago peeks out at us, "Welcome back. Shopping go well?"

"Splendid," I answer, giving Teia a reassuring smile before she can even begin to worry about me.

Her eyebrow quirks and the corner of her mouth curls up, having a wordless conversation with me. "Got you something, Vi," Teia steps up to Viago, holding the rest of her pastry up to his mouth. Viago takes it cautiously between his lips, and Teia swoops in like the crow she's destined to be, taking a bite while it hangs between his lips, wiping her own of the cream as she comes back down off her tiptoes.

Gods, I had so much to learn from her.

"Goodnight," Teia smirks, taking a few steps backwards while staring at Viago. She throws me a wink before turning on her heel and hustling out the front gate.

"I hate it when she does that," Viago mumbles, pulling the pastry from his lips as he holds open the door for me.

"You love it," I correct.

"I do," He groans, making a pitiful face before finishing off his pastry.

I return to my room, not anymore sure on how to respond to these letters than I was this morning, but feeling deeply inspired by watching Teia work her own magic. Using my own poetry against me, were we? Fine, then I'll use his own moves against him.

Lucanis,

It's flirting, not a threat.

Always,

Juno

I tuck the small folded note into the top of a package, and find an attendant downstairs to deliver it to a courier for me in the morning. When he opened the box tomorrow, he'd see the knife I picked out for him. The sheath was engraved, and the lines then filled with silver, the handle was layered with black leather that almost looked like dragon scales with how they were laid and the guard and the pummel were both a brilliant silver, with an inlaid ruby in the top of the pummel. The knife itself was thin, likely not meant for much actual combat, but I believe it was Arlo who told me that crows should carry as many backups on their person as possible. I was also sure to include the chest strap that was offered with the purchase, so that he needn’t rely on a jacket pocket to carry his knife around.

If you insist on speaking my love languages, you better be prepared for me to learn yours.

~-~-~-~-~-~

Chapter Text

Kieran,

Today I will get to see a crow induction ceremony and a crow party for the first time. Its apparently quite an elaborate affair, so much so that I get to wear the dress Auntie sent from Leliana to it!

I think most of the boys are just looking forward to the wine and food, but I heard there’s live music and dancing-- it made me think of you. I think I’m most excited to just not have to think about death, murder or violence for a day.

I hope school is going well for you. I just know you’ll make a fantastic bard. Do you think you’ll travel when you graduate? See the world? Or will you stay in Orlais?

Sometimes I miss being on the road, traveling with Mama and Papa, but other times I’m just grateful to sleep in a real bed and not a bed roll.

I miss you very much! Please write me soon, your letters keep me sane.

Love always,

Juno

The boat ride over to the other side of Treviso, where the First Talon estate was, was uncomfortable. Originally, Matteo had called for two boats, one to send the younger De Riva boys in, and one to send himself, Leo and I in. Viago was vehemently opposed to this, and essentially forced himself into the boat beside me so as to not leave me alone with the reasons for my scars.

"I pray you remember my warnings about tonight," Matteo reminds us both anyways, "This isn't just a celebration for Javier, it's for all the recruits up for promotion tonight, so you will act with respect and be courteous to those who rank higher than you. It matters not what house you come from, but how you have proven yourselves, and presently-- you both have done nothing of the sort."

"I have no intention of taking any of the attention off of Javier," I respond, tapping my fingers against my leg. "He worked hard for this."

Even if he never wanted this in the first place . He made the decision, for whatever reason, to stay, and I would not take that decision from him or do anything to ruin that.

"Look on this day with excitement for the future," Matteo nods, "Because you two will be promoted someday, and I expect big things from you."

Some more than others, I suspect.

Leo remained quiet for the entire ride, choosing to focus on looking out the window rather than attempting to taunt either I or Viago. It felt odd, like he was only half of his usual shitty self, but I could speak nothing of it-- because if nothing else, he was leaving me alone.

The Dellamorte Estate was indeed massive, if the party got too big and spilled outside for any reason, there was always a guesthouse on the property for the overflow crowd. There was a live band, music playing the moment we walked in. Fine art on full display, the smells of all kinds of specially catered dishes and desserts and seemingly endless wine and champagne as far as the eye could see.

Matteo left the rest of us pretty early, taking Leo off with him claiming he needed to have a "discussion" with the First Talon before the ceremony was to begin. This gave me the time to look over each of the Dellamorte boys, each seemingly more cleaned and groomed, more bright eyed and far more lively than I had ever seen them before.

You can turn teenagers into weapons, but that does not rob them of their entire youth. I've heard before that hope is a thing with feathers, and for us, for the chessboard, those feathers belong to crows . Before us was a room filled with the very people we hoped to convince to change some day, and while it was just one of us being inducted presently, it was still a step-- still a move on the board in the right direction, and for one night, we could find comfort in that and choose to simply live in the moment.

The ceremony was everything I had read about-- recruits kneeling before their talons, offering proof of completed contracts, and reciting a pledge of loyalty. It crosses my mind that maybe Javier dreaded this part the most-- but if he did, it did not show on his face. He made it through each step effortlessly, and there before the entirety of the eight houses he stood, a crow.

Hope with feathers.

The party began right after, full swing, as if pieces and trinkets belonging to murdered men were not just handed over en masse to the powers that be. Like it was just another party on another day with some real reason to celebrate.

And I knew not how to be anything but a wallflower, stuck by Arlo and Viago's side as we watched the dancefloor fill with people.

Well.

I watched the dance floor fill with people.

Viago watched Teia.

"You could ask her to dance," I offer, tipping my champagne glass out in her direction, "I'm willing to bet she'd say yes."

"I'm not a betting man," Viago responds, and I roll my eyes.

"That's bullshit," I watch as he takes a large sip of champagne, "I heard you have 30 gold pieces on Illario professing his love to me."

Viago chokes a bit on the sip he took, having to clear his throat several times after lowering his glass.

"I didn't start that bet." He answers.

"No, but you participated."

"I was pressured to!"

"By whom!?"

"Who do you think?" Viago gestures across the room, to where Teia stood speaking with who I came to know was the Seventh Talon during the ceremony. " You try saying no to her!"

"You're saying no to her right now by not asking her to dance, stupid."

"Idiot," He grumbles his usual response to my taunts. "If she wanted to dance, she'd greet me first."

"I can't bear another moment of this," Arlo pushes himself off the wall, passing his drink to Viago as he crosses the room. To my surprise, he approaches Teia and holds a hand out to her, inviting her out to the dancefloor. Teia had an amused smirk on her face, but took his hand and followed him to the center of the room regardless.

If Viago's hand clutched the wine glass any harder, I fear it may shatter in his hand entirely. I don't think he was mad at Arlo as much as he was mad at himself for not working up the courage, or perhaps putting his pride aside, to be able to go over there himself and do the very same.

Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

I take the glasses out of Viago's hands, placing them down on a table, and present both my hands to him. He's surprised for a moment, amused for another, but eventually gives in with a shrug of his shoulders before taking my hands and letting me drag him out to the very same dance floor.

"Do you even know what you're doing?" He asks, placing his hand on my back as we straighten ourselves out to dance.

"I know a few styles of dance, how hard can it be?"

And that's true for quite some time, the steps remain mostly the same, albeit not as stiff as dancing had been in Orlais, nor as free flowing as the swing style dancing that was popular in Ferelden. This was a happy sweet spot, relying mostly on the rhythm of the song to time when to move your hips. Antivan dancing was a bit more like the salsa dancing Papa had taught me, where he said people stand significantly closer together and used more than their hands and feet to dance, mixed with the swing step of Ferelden dance that had you constantly using, moving and pointing your toes throughout the entire dance. Every movement involved a bit of swaying hips, bending your legs into steps, hands moving across the back through dips and sways-- It was far more exciting than any sort of waltz you'd do in Orlais.

And it felt far more natural.

At first, Viago thought he would naturally have to lead and the dance itself would be foreign to me entirely, but when he realized I could freestyle steps in between each dip and spin, he focused mostly on using his weight as an anchor to throw me into more dramatic twists and turns. You could see on his face how much he actually started to enjoy himself, and it was like seeing a completely different side of the Viago I've been getting to know for months now-- He was happy , this is what he looked like when his soul didn't feel so burdened.

When Viago's arm is extending out entirely, and I step towards him, I can feel myself grinning from ear to ear. He steps backwards, pulling me back with him and twisting my arm up over my head as we step, my heels spinning across the floor. His hand finds the crest between my waist and hip, swinging us back into step. Every move felt like a flurry of hands finding each other, quick turns and legs entangling-- an easy thing to fumble if you were clumsy, but if I was good at nothing else in this world, I was good at knowing exactly where to put my legs at exactly the right moment.

Viago has pretty damn good rhythm too. It seems a bit like he's been practicing; and I suppose it wouldn't surprise me if he was, waiting for the perfect moment to impress Teia.

When I cast a glance over Viago's shoulder, she's watching, a hunger in her eyes that even I can recognize. What he's doing, what he's been practicing-- it's working. Viago had completely flipped the role on its head; leaving Teia completely captivated waiting for his next move.

They had such chemistry without even looking into each other's eyes, it made me wonder if perhaps Lucanis had the same look on his face.

I could find his eyes in any room.

It was only flashes, glances, because of how fast Viago continued to spin and turn me in beat with the music; but he was watching. It felt all the more empowering knowing his eyes were on me, following the movement of Viago's hand through every dip, turn, push, pull and twist.

Was it more exciting to Lucanis because it was Viago as well, or had that ship long sailed? Was every glance just for me? Would he find me after this dance, much like I know Viago and Teia will find each other immediately after this song finishes?

"You know you're really not meant to take your eyes off your dance partner," Viago chuckles, drawing my line of sight back to him. He had quite the smirk on his face, spinning me under his arm.

"Yeah well, you're not as subtle as you'd like to think either," I responded, placing my hand on his shoulder. "Yes, she's watching, and yes, she will accept a dance when you ask her after this."

"You act as if I haven't been playing this game for many years," Viago chuckles, pulling me in close as the song comes to an end. "She drives me crazy, absolutely , but it would be no fun if I couldn't do the very same."

We step apart as the song comes to an echoing end, and Viago gives me a knowing look before turning and stepping to Teia before the next song can start up. Arlo steps aside for Viago with a smug smirk on his face, his teeth poking out just under the scarred part of his mouth. He must hear my laugh, because his attention is drawn to me before he gestures to himself, and I nod enthusiastically in response.

Arlo beckons me over by bending his fingers up from his palm, another playful side of a De Riva I feel like is such a rare sight to see. Now that I knew Lucanis was watching from his perch on the balcony above, I felt far more tempted to get into the swing of things-- letting my hair toss just a bit more with every spin.

"I got to read the report from your mission, "Arlo grins, our hips moving synchronously, "Javier made you sound really good in the write up, poisoned throwing knives and weaponless combat? Now who raised you to behave like that?"

"A lady never tells her secrets," I joke, dipping down a bit while grabbing onto Arlo's bicep, "A wise man once told me that all birds sing, I just gave those big bad guys a little tune."

Arlo tips his head back, an infectious chuckle from his core slipping past his lips, "That's our little bird, really showing 'em all what it means to fuck around and find out." Arlo was quite a bit taller than me, which made most of his dance moves require him bending his knees quite a bit more than Viago had to to dance with me, but he was putting in the work full force. "I'm quite positive you made that entire experience easier on Javier, you know. I'm not sure you understand how grateful I am for that."

"I would do anything for you De Rivas," And I mean it, "Apart from. You know, the shitty ones."

Arlo nods, an understanding look on his face, "Ah yes, Viago ."

" Yeah ," I laugh. "Shittiest one of the bunch."

"It's nice to see him let loose, he's been much too tense lately," Arlo watches over his younger brother over my shoulder. "Parties are nice, it's like the rest of the world doesn't exist for a short while."

And he wasn't wrong in that, for the entire time I've been out on the dance floor, I haven't thought about any of the other shit happening within the De Riva house. I would, either fortunately or unfortunately, still have to see Lucanis tonight and face that ongoing battle for domination, but at the very least we were in a very public setting and he knew for both our sakes that getting too close would make a scene.

"Doesn't a night like this just make you want to, say, spill your heart out to someone?" Arlo suggests, and I feel my eyes narrow as we step in time to the rhythm.

"I know about the bet, you dick." I shoot back, and Arlo clicks his tongue in disappointment.

"Damn, I thought for sure I'd be taking all the gold home tonight," He raises an eyebrow, "You still could though, the First Talon estate is quite romantic out in the gardens."

"Don't hold your breath, Arlo."

The song slows to a stop, and as we pull apart, Arlo gives a small bow with his hand pressed to his chest. "Wasn't planning on it, you wouldn't be you if you didn't surprise us all, somehow. Just don't let Javie win."

Speak of the devil.

"I believe it's my time to step in," Javier greets, taking both my hands without offering them at all. Arlo pats him on the back as he steps off.

"Good luck Juno, Javier is a terrible dancer."

"He exaggerates," Javier rolls his eyes, "I simply dabble in all dance, I don't limit it to Antivan style. Why should women get all the fun?"

"Oh?" My jaw drops open a bit, "So I can spin you around too, Javie?"

The music kicks in, and Javie begins stepping into beat, walking me backwards, "I'd be heartbroken if you did not!" Javier seemed to hold much more bounce in his steps when he danced, like he had extra energy pouring out of him at every moment. Unlike Arlo and Viago, Javier made sure to snap his head in time with the music as well, a bit more common in ballroom dances where the steps were all pre-planned, but this was very clearly a Javie special.

One of a kind.

But still joyful, still very fun, and a completely different energy than the last two dances I had. Javie didn't hesitate to pull a classic Juno move, stepping his own leg into my space to dip me over it or simply pull us closer together and move in tandem.

"Have I said thank you today? I know I think it a lot, but I feel like I don't always say it out loud," Javier jokes, breathless. He was REALLY into this dance.

"I haven't heard you tell me how great I am today, no," I lift my arm to spin Javier around twice, and he uses his own velocity to spin me by wrapping an arm around my back after, both of us sliding across the floor. "Javier, why did you do it? You didn't have to take a contract."

"I did though," He scoffs, "When we hadn't... started the game," I see Javier's eyes dart across the room to make sure no one was eavesdropping. "I wanted out, as fast as possible. But you're here, and more than just having a goal, I have someone I don't want to lose, and she is, most unfortunately, at the center of all of this now."

You big softie.

"Besides, I have 30 gold on the line that you're going to torture the Dellamortes into an early grave." Javier slides his hand up my back as I tip backwards, tipping me back up vertebrae by vertebrae. "Wouldn't want to miss out on that."

I slide an arm around his neck as our feet step in a salsa rhythm, choosing to ignore that damn bet coming up again, "I shouldn't be holding you back Javie, I could help you still--"

"You aren't holding me back," He answers, "You're making me want to stay. " I felt a bit like a mabari puppy with the stare I melted into, "If I don't feel like I can anymore, I'll go but... For now, I intend to be here for you in the same way you were here for me."

I could feel my eyes threatening to water, but Javier grabs me by the cheeks and sways me side to side to the music to knock the thoughts out of me entirely.

"Who's good at breaking up storm clouds now, hmm?" I ask, watching Javier positively glow as if he owned this entire dance floor.

"You learn from the best, clearly."

If Lucanis was still watching from somewhere, I could no longer spot his figure in the room. I find myself scanning the space over and over as Javier and I finish dancing, but he's nowhere to be seen.

"Come, look for him after having some refreshments," Javier holds his elbow out to walk me back up the stairs off the dancefloor, somehow knowing exactly who I was searching for. Was I that predictable? He retrieves two glasses of champagne, offering one to me before clinking his glass against mine. "To the future," He offers as a cheer.

"To you." I respond, taking a sip of my champagne.

We both take our time to be wallflowers once more, relishing in the peace that Viago and Teia seem to have as they dance together song after song.

If the whole night had gone that way, perhaps we could have lived in that peace until the sun came up-- but things never really seem to work out that way. Not in my life, anyways.

" I heard Magister Renata is livid about the deaths of her slaver team, " Someone snorts, sipping from a wine glass to the left of Javier and I.

" I bet, I hear she uses virgin blood to keep her skin youthful. She'll have to resort to wrinkle creams while she tries to recruit more Venatori. "

" I heard it was the Fifth Talon's kid who took on that contract ." Another pipes up, oblivious to Javier and I standing nearby, and Javier’s human ears not privy to picking up the conversation at all.

" I can't believe anyone would, Zara Renata isn't someone to fuck with. "

" Neither is Matteo De Riva, there's a reason nobody wants to work with his house ."

Oh?

" Yeah, it's the same reason Caterina hates his guts-- he's a snake. He's so power hungry he's willing to sacrifice just about anyone to claw his way to the top. "

" Including his own kids. "

Fenedhis, did everyone hate Matteo?

" I heard he took in some elven kid as well, probably a paramour, but he's trying to pass her off as a recruit. What a joke, "

I see.

" The same man who was hurling insults like 'halla breeder' and 'pin ears' last talon trial? "

" Tale as old as time, my friend. They see no value in them until they're naked or slain ."

I had heard quite enough.

I placed my glass down on the table and hurried out the nearest door, trying to calm my racing heart before my magic started to act up in rage. It's always about the ears, isn't it? The ears, the height or the simple fact that we were once enslaved-- we're fetishized. Constantly, always, even after giving and giving to a world that offers us nothing in return.

It makes me wonder how Mama's clan could have ever been okay with leaving The Dales. How was living a city life any better for our people? We're just exposed to our hatred more now than ever.

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes until I could no longer feel my pulse in my ears. I tipped back my head, choosing to hold it high and to do my best to forget the events that just transpired. When I open my eyes once more, they focus on the wall in front of me, where a large portrait of a beautiful woman is displayed.

Beautiful isn't even the right word. Ethereal . Hair as dark as the night sky, beautiful brown eyes with the center exploding into an olive green. Her skin was flawless, dotted with beauty marks beneath her eyes and close to her temple. She looked like she was actually rather pleased to be sitting for a portrait, or at least her smile seemed to meet her eyes in a way that looked like she was enjoying herself.

" Beautiful , is she not?"

A woman's voice comes from the door I just entered, and I turn on my heel to meet her eyes. This was Caterina Dellamorte, First Talon. I recognized her from the ceremony, as well. I was alone in a room with Caterina Dellamorte.

"She is," I responded. "I thought I had come face to face with a goddess when I looked up." I pull my gaze back to the painting, deciding that no matter what, it would be best to agree with the First Talon no matter what she says.

"Her name was Rosaline," Caterina steps up beside me, her arms tucked behind her back. "The former heir apparent to the First Talon."

She's stating facts, but I can tell by her tone there is deep grief in there, remorse and guilt. If Lucanis was suspected next in line to be First Talon, then that must mean that his mother has passed. "What happened?" I ask, following with, "If you don't mind me asking."

Caterina is quiet for a moment, taking in a sharp breath and sighing it back out, "My foolish children... They went chasing after someone, all convinced that if they could be the one to take out the target, they'd earn the right to become successor." Caterina takes a few more steps, staring up at the painting which is now identifiable as her daughter. "All of them, my daughters, their husbands and my son, went chasing after the Black Shadow, and all 5 of them were returned to me in caskets."

" Black Shadow ?"

"A traitor, deserted his duties and failed his contract," Caterina brings a hand up to rub at her temple, "Nobody ordered them to go after Zevran Arainai, we all knew it was futile, but they were too stubborn, too sure of themselves,"

No.

"And we lost them all that day," Her voice sounds like it might shake, but she pulls herself back from the brink. "I took in Rose and Julietta's children, I've been raising them to the best of my abilities, but I am no substitute for a mother."

Please. Please say it's not true.

"My poor boys, I can only hope I raise Lucanis and Illario to recognize when a battle simply cannot be won. There is no pride worth your life."

Papa... what did you do?

"Now, child," Caterina had glanced over her shoulder at me, tutting when she looked at me. "Don't lose yourself over this, death is all too common within the crows. You will move forward to see much of it." She turns around fully to look me over, clearly making judgements about me within her own mind. "Especially as a De Riva, the Fifth Talon is quite notoriously a cut throat." She composes herself once more, lifting her head high, "Take the tale as one of caution; know your limits... and never go chasing after an Arainai ."

My knees manage to wait the few seconds it takes for her to leave before they collapse underneath me, my kneecaps nothing but a sharp thud on the marble floor.

All of Caterina Dellamorte's children went hunting after my father... and all of them never returned home. Lucanis' parents, Illario's parents-- gone. At my father's hands . I know that he had taken down most of the eighth house when they came after him, but I thought it had stopped there. Why did more come after him after what happened with the Eighth house? Was it truly all for pride, for power? Did the first talon seat mean that much to them?

How would I ever... ever face Lucanis or Illario?

They do not know the real me, and now I was absolutely sure they never could. I could never be both a girl who loved her father and a girl who claimed to care for the Dellamortes. I could not blame my father for the deaths of their parents and in the same breath be grateful for all he has ever done to keep my mother and I alive. How could I stop this spiral? How could I untangle myself from the death of Dellamortes?

I couldn't .

Even if no one else ever knew-- I did.

Matteo did.

Matteo, who loved Rosaline. Matteo, who warned me to stay far away from the Dellamortes. What else did he know that he didn't share?

How would I ever make moves against him as a Rook, when he held the secrets to my greatest downfall? If my identity got out, would there be another power struggle? Would Illario and Lucanis come for me much the same way their parents came after my father?

Would history be doomed to repeat itself, or would I simply ask they be gentle when ripping me apart ? Would they even be willing?

Could I even look at myself as the same Juno they see when they look at me now?

I had somehow gotten back onto my feet, but every step felt like I had been risen from the dead, a lifeless corpse set to roam the halls whilst the world moved on around them. I didn't really know what to do, just stayed hugged to a wall. Conversations were just muffles now, like the slow setting of poison in my veins, I was dying from the inside out.

" Juno ,"

Why is it always your voice? Why is it all I can ever hear, even in the mess of everyone else?

" Dance with me. "

Do you sense when my world is falling apart, or is fate just simply that cruel to us? To always intersect at the moments when being alone were the only things I deserved?

It was never a choice, like the way his hands found mine and pulled me to the dancefloor, falling in love with Lucanis was as inevitable as death itself.

And I was at death's door, knocking, doing anything I could from turning to face that love.

Was it my brain, altering time around him once more, or was the band suddenly playing a decidedly slower song the moment we faced each other?

"You look like you've seen a ghost," Lucanis' voice is as soft as ever, his hand snug against the curve of my hip. "Too much wine?"

Is this who I would be forever, just a liar?

"Perhaps," I responded, my lips twitching at the seams; whether I was trying to fake a smile or stop myself from crying, I was unsure. "Alcohol and spinning around aren't always the best mixture."

"Ah," He chuckles, his eyes softening as he smiles, "And spinning, you were. I think the whole dance floor parted to watch you."

"Which time?" I ask, desperate to keep up any small talk. Anything to stop this from sidelining into romance. My heart couldn't carry that right now.

"All of them," Lucanis answers, raising his hand to spin me around slowly. "Each time more captivating than the last. You move like wild storms, sudden and unpredictable, but lighting up the room."

Death may have me at his door by one hand, but Lucanis had the other, stopping me from going through it.

"Maybe I'm crazy for wanting to go storm chasing... But I admittedly was envious of every De Riva tonight, and I couldn't let that feeling linger til the night's end."

Perhaps that was the consequence of immortality, the pain of a love that you'd lose.

"I'm glad you didn't," It's the truth. It's a painful, awful, terrible truth . "I've heard lightning never strikes the same place twice, you might've missed all your chances if you didn't dance with me tonight."

His hand is warm. So warm. Having one hold mine and the other on my waist would be enough to keep me warm for an entire season. I can look at him more closely now that I've ever had the opportunity to before. I could commit every line of his face to memory; how his bottom lip was fuller than the top, how his eyelashes curtained over his eyes in a way that made his waterline looked like it was line with smoke, or how for tonight's events he had decided to use hair wax to sweep his hair out of his face entirely and up over the crest of his head.

He was beautiful in ways no poet could ever articulate.

"Thank you for the gift,"

Of course, how did that slip my mind?

If I had known this morning what I did now, I would've never sent the damn thing.

"Yes, well... Teia's told me much about the things you've done to... well, to make me smile. So I thought, perhaps I could do the same."

Lucanis' eyes flicker to my lips briefly, and he tilts his head slightly, leaning into my ear to whisper as he leans us both into a dip, "I believe your letter called it flirting."

Our legs tangled as he pulled me up, and I spun to pull them apart as fast as I could, "Is that a problem?" I whisper, unable to keep air in my lungs with every word out of his mouth.

"Not at all, I'm not sure I've... Well, I'm not sure I've been this happy in a long time."

Rot , Juno. You will rot for this. Every second you've ever put him through.

"I feel seen, as you put it." He dips me one final time, and the song ends. He stares at me for a moment or two more before pulling me to my feet. "I look forward to getting to know you more, to make you feel seen."

Every word is both salt in the wound and a fire in my heart.

"Thank you for the dance," I whisper, giving a small curtsy before making my way up the stairs off the dance floor. I can feel Matteo's eyes before I see them, and I know the moment our eyes meet he expects me at his side.

There he stood, death himself. Beckoning me.

Somehow less scary than ever having to face Lucanis learning the truth.

I took my place at his side, his unamused glare the evidence I needed that he had been watching that entire dance.

"It was just a dance," I say, looking out at the crowd as I stood beside him. "Nothing more."

"Yes, I'm sure it was," He says, his fingers tapping against his wine glass. "But considering the foul bitch at the head of that family just gave away all your hard work, I neglect to see why you're fraternizing with them."

"What do you mean?"

"The recruits," He answers, his words particularly sharp. "The First Talon assigned them to the Seventh House. We don't even get the extra help."

Thank the gods, the maker-- whoever was out there listening. They were free of Matteo De Riva and his cacophony of terror.

"Perhaps next time we let it fly under the radar," Matteo nods, mostly to himself, like he was convincing himself. "Just bring them into the training camps without consulting Caterina." Matteo places a hand on the small of my back, leaning towards me like he needed to convince me. "Yes, the next time you bring in recruits, it can be our little secret."

And I should be more upset that he expects me to drag more people into this, but all I can think about...

Is that his touch lingered.

~-~-~-~-~-~

Chapter Text

Dear Juno,

I'm not sure I'll have time to send another letter before then, so let me say it now; Happy 18th Birthday. About time you caught up to me, you're always lagging 4 months behind. Slacker.

As I am writing this, I am packing my things to travel from Orlais to Rivain. I completed school only a few weeks ago, but as I have come of age, Mother has agreed that I may finally set out to travel. She actually suggested Rivain because Varric Thethras said he's got an old friend living out in Rivain I could visit and perhaps find room and board with. From what I understand, it's a fairly warm climate with white sand beaches-- A fantastic first destination.

Unless I wind up on a very long boat excursion, I'll likely come through Antiva at some point. Would a busy would-be assassin have time to make for their childhood friend?

I'll send you letters, though they may have to come by courier until I finish my journey. When I am a week's time from Antiva, I'll make sure to let you know.

I'm eager to meet your friends-- and yes, you needn't say it, I'll refrain from speaking of your family.

Perhaps I should craft myself an elaborate backstory? Is that what you've been doing? Do you think I could pull off being heir to the Ferelden throne? No? Perhaps in another lifetime.

I'll write soon. Take care in the meantime.

You better be ready for me when I reach Antiva!

Yours,

Kieran

Like I needed the reminder.

There was a week left before I turned 18, meaning it had been about 14 months since the night I learned that my father killed an entire generation of the Dellamorte family. 14 months since Javier was inducted into the crows and began accepting contract work. 14 months since my first intel mission which I somehow simultaneously fulfilled and botched, 14 months since Matteo De Riva first laid a hand upon me that wasn’t intended to leave a bruise and 14 months since I began putting all of my focus onto the crows, getting involved in as many intel missions as possible, even if that meant having to work alongside or for Leonardo De Riva.

True to Matteo's word, Leo had remained less of a thorn in my side. He was still unusually quiet most days, choosing not to spend his time hurling insults at anyone, including Viago, and instead taking up more and more work as the Fifth House Guildmaster. It was likely that the closer Viago and I inched towards being inducted, the more nervous Leonardo grew. There had been no more slip ups, no days we failed to study and no Matteo special pop quizzes we failed, no research projects wasted and no intel missions on the cusp of success and failure like before.

There was certainly no more shed.

I had made myself a promise to myself 14 months ago that my biggest focus would be on advancing the game. The sooner that I can, at the very least, set the rest of the chessboard on a course to success, the sooner I can rid myself of the weight of the lies I have to tell just to survive.

There is a part of my brain, the kind that can still look for hope in things, that prays that the day I do come clean to Lucanis and Illario, they can at least see that my decision to stay (to hide who I am from everyone) wasn't rooted in malicious intent or just based purely on surviving-- My decision to stay was to make their world a better place by any means necessary.

I would die at Caterina's orders so long as everyone else was in place to complete the final moves on the chessboard, I would die for all of them; every single one, without hesitation and without fear. This chessboard wasn't just about my future in the crows, or the future of those who would come after me. It was the future of everyone I cared about in Treviso; their happiness.