Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Ugh.” Minho groaned and leaned back against the cooling pack that Felix had just handed him. He was extremely pissed off. Why did this have to happen? Why to him?  “Thanks man.”

He rolled his eyes when his friend said nothing in reply and just looked at him with worry painted all over his features. It looked even more dramatic with the makeup that Felix was still wearing, the dark blue around his eyes, the glitter on his cheekbones… It made Minho inadvertently wonder what theme the shoot had been that the younger model had worked on earlier that day…

He sighed when Felix raised a brow. Minho hated when people made a fuss because of him. And yet, he couldn’t help but be grateful for the younger in that moment. Apparently, the Omega had heard what had happened in Tokyo, that Minho had been attacked, and had rushed home to take care of his Hyung.

He had called him, as soon as Minho’s plane had touched down in Seoul and had told him to come to his place. There, he had welcomed him with all of his favourite foods and everything that you could possibly need to treat the aftermath of an insane ‘fan’ attacking you, from cooling packs, to bandages, to all sorts of pain killers, tinctures and cremes… Minho didn’t deserve him.

“It’s not that bad,” he tried to reassure the younger model, knowing full well that it wasn’t going to help at all.

“I don’t know,” Felix huffed. “It looked pretty fucking scary to me. And your back is literally turning purple and blue as we speak. Are you sure you don’t want to go to the ER? I’ll drive you.”

Minho groaned again. “Yes.” He scoffed. “Entirely sure. I’m okay. It’s just a bruise. I’ll live.”

Felix huffed once more, but he didn’t press the topic. He knew as well as anyone just how stubborn Minho could be. He knew that if Minho didn’t want to do something, he wasn’t going to do it.

Minho had met Felix on the first ever ‘real’ job he had booked as a model. It had been a campaign for Tommy Hilfiger and the Omega had been his shooting partner on set. They had immediately clicked and kept in contact after the shoot. By now, they had become real friends… close enough for the Alpha to let his head fall back onto the sofa while letting out a pathetic: “Why?”

Minho didn’t allow himself to be like this around a lot of people. It felt vulnerable to show his emotions like this, even if it was ‘just’ annoyance. But Felix had broken down his walls a long time ago. Around him, Minho felt comfortable enough to whine. “Why did this have to happen?”

Felix sighed. For a moment, he seemed to be torn between continuing to lecture Minho on how to treat his injuries and feeling sorry for him. In the end, he took the bait and sat down on the sofa next to the older. He started rubbing his leg soothingly. “I know,” he whispered, and Minho shivered.

Suddenly, the air around them was filled with the sweet and calming scent of the Omega. It reminded him of his childhood, of home, of his own mum. His heart clenched. There wasn’t a day that went by on which he didn’t wonder what she would say if she knew where life had taken him.

When she had gotten sick, his modelling career had only started to take off. And she had died just before he truly made it in the industry. It hurt him to his core, to know that she would never get to see how successful he had become. He had always promised her that he would make it and that he would buy her a house, make sure that she always lived comfortably.  And yet… he never even got to treat her to dinner with his heaps of new money.

Felix took his hand, tearing Minho from his thoughts. “That attack must have been really scary, hm?”

Minho was truly endlessly grateful for having met Felix. The Omega had been by his side through so much already. He had stayed with him through his improbable rise to fame, had held his hand through countless sleepless nights when his mother had passed away, had never abandoned him over anything. And yet, Minho still couldn’t help but scoff in that moment.

 “It’s not that,” he grumbled. “Nothing was ever going to happen to me. They had so much security there. I’m just pissed off because this will make me lose a ton of freedom.”

He wasn’t dumb. Minho could tell from the way that Felix’s hand froze in its movements and the way the Omega remained silent that a) his friend didn’t believe him when he said that he was fine and that b) he kind of agreed with the rest of Minho’s team, that yes, after this sort of attack, he should probably lose some freedom.

He groaned again. He couldn’t help himself. He just felt so defeated. “Seungmin is making me get a bodyguard,” he mumbled. “Like, one that will follow me around whenever I go outside.”

He was embarrassed to admit that he had hoped for more sympathy from his friend. He had wanted Felix to coo, and for the younger to tell him how sorry he felt for him… However, the Omega just took a moment, and then shrugged. “I know this is not what you want to hear,” he mumbled. “But I don’t think that that’s a bad idea Hyung.”

Minho didn’t even dignify that with a response. He just rolled his eyes.

Felix persisted. “You absolutely blew up Hyung.” He pressed closer. His presence alone was incredibly soothing. It always had been. “And that’s incredible!” Felix lightly knocked his elbow into Minho’s side to show his excitement and the Alpha knew that it was genuine. All of his friends always celebrated each other’s success as if it was their own. It was one of his favourite things about them.

However, the younger then went on to continue by shaking his head. “But it’s not normal for a model to be as famous as you are. You are literally a superstar.” Felix let out a deep sigh. “You can’t compare your life to that of any of us. You probably have to look to people like I don’t know… BTS instead. There’s a trade-off Hyung.”

Minho scoffed again. “Trade-off my ass,” he mumbled. “I’m about to pull a whole Chapell Roan and tell these people that they need to learn about boundaries.”

Fortunately for him, the doorbell rung before Felix had a chance to lecture him on his personal war on fame. However, his relief was short-lived. When Hyunjin stumbled inside, he looked absolutely frantic with worry. It made Minho want to jump out of a window.

He had known Hyunjin almost as long as he had known Felix who had introduced the Beta when they had first gone to a club together. He was a model as well, though he was much more interested in taking part in the creative process than Minho was. Hyunjin was an artist in every sense of the word which Minho usually adored about him… however that also unfortunately included an extremely sensitive nature and proneness to dramatics.

“I’m fine!” he hurried to half-shout across the room. He really did not need Hyunjin to burst into tears that afternoon. “You need to all stop fussing. I’m good. I’ll be okay.” He glared at Felix. “And I don’t want a bodyguard.”

Hyunjin frowned, though he at least seemed to somewhat relax as he realised that Minho was just as rough as he usually was. “A bodyguard?”

Felix rolled his eyes while he pushed the Beta into the living room and offered him something to drink. “Seungmin is making Hyung get more security.”

Hyunjin nodded. He was clearly still very confused. “Yeah,” he said. “As he should?”

Felix scoffed. “Exactly. Only that our superstar here thinks that he shouldn’t need one.”

Minho was about to cut in, but Hyunjin was faster. “Well, I agree,” the Beta said. However, Minho’s little hope for support was immediately brutally crushed when he added: “But I am not going to let you make an example out of yourself at the expense of your health and or fucking life?!” He shook his head. “We need you, not a fucking martyr.”

Minho wanted to howl. He hated this. Why could nobody understand his desire not to have a stupid stranger go with him wherever he went? Hadn’t he worked his whole life to be independent from other people? How had he ended up so far removed from that dream?

Felix shot him a sympathetic look. “It won’t be that bad, Hyung,” he mumbled. “I’m sure that Seungmin will find someone who’s suited perfectly for the job.”

His words had Minho groan again. “He’s going to want to fucking involve me in the hiring process,” he complained. “Like he did when he tried to get me a personal assistant.” He rolled his eyes. “I don’t think I hate anything more than job interviews.”

Hyunjin hummed. “You know what?” he asked. “My manager’s mate has a security company.” He tilted his head. “I think you might have met him before? Chan? Felix definitely has.”

The Omega nodded. “He was super nice.” Meanwhile, Minho couldn’t remember ever meeting anyone called Chan… though he was also just generally bad at remembering names and faces. He knew that Hyunjin and Jeongin’s manager was a kind Alpha called Minhyuk, but what his Omega looked or was like? Minho had no idea.

Hyunjin furrowed his brows. “Maybe he can hook you up and then you at least don’t have to actually go through the whole hiring process.”

***

By the time Minho was supposed to meet his new bodyguard, the fuss and panic around him had died down significantly. Sure, his friends still walked a lot closer to him whenever they went anywhere, and Felix’s worried looks were a near constant presence on their outings now. But no one had attacked him since Tokyo, no one had even tried… which Minho chose to take as another sign that he definitely did not need more security.

And yet, Seungmin would not budge. He insisted that it was a necessary precaution that they needed to take for Minho’s personal safety and that ignoring the very real threat that such physical attacks posed on Minho’s wellbeing would border on enabling abuse.

“I know that you don’t like it,” he gritted out whenever Minho brought up his favourite topic. “But it’s for the best and I won’t hear anything about it.”

Minho supposed that, at the very least, his manager had listened to his wishes and had contacted Bang Chan instead of making Minho go through a whole hiring process. Apparently, Seungmin had even known the guy himself… which probably wasn’t super surprising considering how much time he had inadvertently spent with Minhyuk, the man that was both Hyunjin’s and Jeongin’s manager, over the past years.

From what Minho could tell, Bang Chan had at first been hesitant. Protecting Minho was apparently a bigger job than what his company usually took on and he wasn’t sure whether he had someone who would fit the role… But eventually he seemed to have caved. Because one day, Seungmin had walked into Minho’s dressing room on the set of yet another shoot and told him that Chan would send them a highly qualified security detail.

So, now, here they were… sitting in Seungmin’s office, waiting for the new guy to arrive. He was late. Which Minho felt supported his argument that it was all for nothing anyways.

“This is so stupid,” he mumbled quietly but loud enough to be sure that Seungmin could hear him.

His manager groaned and buried his head in his hands. In that moment, Seungmin looked far older than Minho - despite being almost two years younger than him. It was as if Minho could positively see the grey hairs forming and the wrinkles start to appear from pure exasperation and stress alone. It was times like these when he wondered why Seungmin put up with his bullshit. Money, probably.

“What if I hate this guy?” Minho now complained. “He’s already annoying me by being late. What if he’s a complete douchebag?”

“Look,” Seungmin seemed extremely tired. “God, I feel like I am talking to a toddler.” He rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to be his friend. No one is forcing you to be his friend.” He scoffed. “Hell, you don’t even have to be around him when you’re not out and about.”

Minho raised a brow. “I don’t?”

Seungmin huffed. “Well. I can’t exactly force you to let him into your apartment, can I?” He rolled his eyes once more. “And when you are out doing something else, work, the gym, friends… whatever it may be… he’s supposed to be in the background and barely noticeable.”

This caused Minho to click his tongue. “And if he isn’t?”

Seungmin looked entirely unimpressed. “And if he isn’t, we’ll replace him. Simple as that.”

In that moment, the door flew open with a bang and a guy with messy hair and wide eyes stumbled inside. “I am seriously so, so sorry!” he panted, and Minho almost had to laugh. That was supposed to be his bodyguard?

To be entirely honest, when Minho had learned about the ‘highly qualified security detail’ that Bang Chan was going to be sending their way, he had expected a massive man with a serious expression. He had pictured someone who towered over everyone and sucked the joy out of every room he entered. But that wasn’t what this guy looked like at all.

The newcomer was shorter than Minho and in his oversized hoodie that gave him fucking sweater paws and with his little legs that had been squeezed into skinny jeans, he didn’t exactly look threatening. He looked… almost cute.

Plus, he gaped at Minho as if he was the eighth wonder of the world… which didn’t exactly help him with coming across as intimidating and which would usually annoy the shit out of the model. Minho hated it when people seemed to think that just because he was famous, it was okay to just blatantly stare at him. It always made him feel like he was some kind of animal in a zoo.

However, with this guy… Minho had to admit that it was… well, maybe not the worst thing in the world. He blushed at the stranger’s fascinated expression and the attention had a hot shiver run down his spine.

Maybe it gave Minho a sort of subconscious power-trip that even someone who had been hired to protect him couldn’t quite conceal his amazement. Maybe it was the hope that the staring would make Seungmin realise that this guy couldn’t possibly be suitable for the job. Or maybe it was something deeper… something that Minho was entirely unwilling to address.

“Han Jisung,” the man now introduced himself. He bowed politely. It was the first time Minho got a whiff of his scent and… well… at least that was unmistakably Alpha, even if sweeter than most…. dark chocolate if Minho had to guess. Fucking delicious. Nope.

Jisung was still smiling brightly at him. “Thank you for meeting me today. It’s an honour to be of your service.”

Suddenly, the familiar weight of anger was back in Minho’s stomach and the feeling began to eat away at his insides. He had been so taken aback by Han Jisung’s appearance that he had almost forgotten just how much he didn’t want this guy to be of his service.

He spared him one final glance. The guy’s hair was a light brown that couldn’t possibly have been natural, and his ears were covered in piercings. He looked like a rebellious teenager more than he looked like security… And while yes, Minho still couldn’t completely deny that he looked good… he definitely did not look like he would be able to truly protect Minho.

The model schooled his expression into one of unimpressed disbelief and turned around to Seungmin. “You’re not serious, are you?” he asked his manager. “This?”

***

The drive to Minho’s apartment was extremely awkward. Seungmin had dismissed them and now, it was just Minho and the new bodyguard in the backseat of the company van. Which… Han Jisung seemed to also have realised, at least judging from how happily he pointed it out after about two seconds.

“So it’s us against the world now, eh?” he said cheerfully, as if this was some fun adventure and he hadn’t been hired because Minho had been tackled to the ground by a crazy ‘superfan’ only a few weeks before. When Minho didn’t reply, he happily added: “You can call me Jisung, by the way. I am not super fond of formalities.”

Minho… honestly? He was absolutely dumbfounded. This was definitely not what he had envisioned when he had pictured his new bodyguard. “Okay…”

Jisung beamed at him. “I was born in 2000,” he happily announced. “So I’m younger than you. Can I call you Hyung?”

Minho shook his head. “I don’t care what you call me,” he grumbled, trying very hard to sound as nonchalant as he could.

Jisung giggled. He actually fucking giggled. “How about I call you Baby then?” he asked cheekily, and Minho’s jaw dropped. What the fuck was wrong with this guy? Not only did he seem freakishly confident in general, he had also just casually made a joke that most Alphas wouldn’t even make with a gun pointed to their heads.

Of course Alpha-Alpha relationships weren’t entirely unheard of - and thus probably also Alphas calling other Alphas Baby - but they were rare. And they were judged. And they were shunned. As far as Minho was concerned no one would ever want to even just give rise to the possible assumption that they could be well… gay in that way. Jisung however, seemed entirely unfazed.

He just giggled again. “Sorry, that was unprofessional.”

Minho sighed. “I have a headache,” he mumbled weakly. “Could you please just shut up?”

He knew that Jisung saw right through his lie, but he complied. Neither of them said a word for the rest of the journey. It was almost as if neither of them were breathing. They just sat there. In complete silence and a tension so thick that you could probably cut it with scissors if you tried hard enough.

When they arrived at the door to Minho’s penthouse, he turned to his newly acquired bodyguard. He almost rolled his eyes when he saw the stupid grin that the guy was still wearing. “You can’t come in,” he muttered dismissively.

His stomach tightened uncomfortably, when Jisung’s face fell. But the bodyguard quickly caught himself again. He shrugged. “Alright.” The smile he gave Minho was obnoxious… and also heart shaped. Who the fuck employed a security guard that had a heart shaped smile?! “Your company has provided me with a car.” Jisung held up some keys as if to prove his point. Stupid. “I’ll be in the parking lot in case you need anything.”

Chapter Text

Minho groaned as he watched his coffee spill all over his counter… which was maybe a sign from the universe that he shouldn’t be consuming that amount of caffeine this late. But what was a sleep schedule anyways? He hadn’t left his apartment in a week. Well, except to go to the gym and to work… And it was beginning to drive him crazy. He felt restless, he felt irritable, he hated this version of himself.

However, he was also too stubborn to leave. Jisung had been sitting outside of his house, in the stupid car that Minho’s company had assigned him all day every day for a week now… which Minho assumed probably didn’t exactly lead to him feeling particularly inclined towards the person he was being paid to protect.

Jisung was professional enough to not let his contempt show… but not professional enough for nearly anything else. Never in his life had Minho met a goofier, more foot-in-the-mouth person. Aside from near constant, stupid puns that seemed to be all that was on Jisung’s mind, there was also the fact that he was loud as fuck, singing and dancing and giggling all day long.

His antics drove Minho crazy, especially because of how his bodyguard often made a smile unbiddenly creep onto the model’s lips after all… and he wasn’t supposed to look happy around the bodyguard! ‘In the background and barely noticeable’ his ass.

But Jisung had never actually done anything that would be a fireable offense and so Minho’s only hope was that Seungmin was going to change his mind and decide that he didn’t need a bodyguard after all… which… seemed more than unlikely at this point.

He sighed and began wiping the coffee. Sure, Minho could have probably gotten the guy fired anyways… and he might have, had he thought that he wouldn’t then just get another one immediately or that he would actually have to go through the hiring process after all… and if he didn’t feel kind of bad for the guy as well.

He almost jumped out of his skin when his doorbell suddenly rang. Who the fuck could that be?  But then he remembered that he had ordered sushi. They had said that it would take an hour to deliver though… oh well, they must have just gotten it done much faster than anticipated.

He huffed and dropped the dirty tissues that he had reluctantly wiped his counter with into the bin before he opened the door. However, instead of the sushi he had anticipated, there stood none other than Han fucking Jisung.

“Hi?” Minho had no idea what he was supposed to do. Why was his bodyguard at his fucking door? Was he supposed to remind Minho of something? Had he forgotten a schedule? But it was so late already… Was Jisung here to tell Minho that he was going to go home? But it was a little early for that still… and usually he just… well, left… Minho swallowed. Was Jisung here to resign? Did he want to make sure to tell him that he was an awful human being before he did? It would be more than understandable of course but…

“I need to piss.”

Oh. Minho couldn’t help himself. He huffed out a laugh. “Are you serious?”

Jisung nodded. “Absolutely.”

“Right….” Minho still had no idea what to do. Technically, he didn’t want to let Jisung into his apartment. But apart from ‘Seungmin had said that he didn’t have to let him in’, he couldn’t really come up with a good reason as to why. He trusted everyone who had selected Jisung enough for him not to be a threat. If he didn’t let him in, it would just be because he was being petty. And while yes, Minho acknowledged that he could indeed be very petty at times, denying his bodyguard the use of a toilet, simply because he could, seemed a bit far – even for him. He didn’t want to be that kind of person. In the end, Jisung had been nothing but polite and – in his own goofy way - professional towards him. It wasn’t his fault that Minho hadn’t wanted a bodyguard to begin with.

He stepped aside. “It’s down the hall, the first door to your left.”

Jisung bowed politely and thanked him before scurrying off, leaving Minho to stare disbelievingly at where the younger had stood just a heartbeat earlier, unbelieving that that had really just happened.

After awkwardly hovering by the door for a bit, Minho realised that he had no clue what he was supposed to do. Was he supposed to wait by the door until the guy came back? Was Jisung going to find his way out by himself?

In the end, Minho sighed and decided to just sit down on the couch and start an anime he had been meaning to get to. Jisung would have to go through the living room anyways. If he had any questions… or anything like that, he could bring it up then.

Jisung did indeed walk through the living room… only that Minho didn’t notice him until he said: “Oh, I’ve been meaning to watch that for ages!”

Minho jumped and almost let out an embarrassing shriek but managed to catch himself at the very last second. He stared in complete and utter disbelief at his bodyguard who looked like the picture of peace, with his arms comfortably crossed in front of his chest and seemingly entirely enthralled in watching what was on TV. In a way it was almost… cute. Which was definitely an adjective that came to mind a little too often when Minho looked at his personal security detail.

The model swallowed, decided for his own mental health not to dwell on that for too long and instead reflected on how strange it was that Jisung was in his apartment. Even if it had technically just been to use the toilet, they had still crossed that boundary now… He found that he didn’t mind it. It was just… yeah, strange.

“Did you really?” he asked casually, watching for a reaction… trying to find something that would give away that the security guard had just attempted to make small talk and wasn’t really all that interested in the anime that was still playing.

But Jisung just gave Minho a bright and honest, heart shaped smile. “Yeah,” he said happily. “I have a list. Do you want to see?”

Minho had no idea how it was possible for a person to be as carefree and confident as Jisung. While the model himself always struggled in social settings, always felt unsure of what was appropriate and what wasn’t, always uncomfortable and letting people know just by his demeanour alone… Jisung simply did not seem to care. Minho almost admired him for it.

“Maybe later,” he mumbled and then he surprised himself with saying: “But if you want to, you can stay up here for a bit and watch with me?”

***

Jisung did stay. And it was almost worth it just for how funny it was that this obviously wasn’t a part of his job that his employer had prepared him particularly well for. He didn’t seem to know where he was supposed to go and when he eventually sat down on the side of the couch and Minho offered him something to drink, he just asked for a small water. It was almost… endearing. Almost.

They watched a few episodes in comfortable silence. And Minho found himself relaxing more and more with each passing minute. He hadn’t been alone for an extended period of time since his mother had passed away…and he had missed the company over the last week.

Almost as if Jisung had read his mind, the younger Alpha suddenly asked: “Aren’t you lonely?” His voice was quiet, tentative… more careful than Minho had ever heard it.

He sighed. “I wasn’t before you came,” he answered honestly.

Before he had gotten a bodyguard, he had spent most of his time with his friends, whether it was to hang out at their place, grab coffee with them, meet them somewhere else… he had practically been addicted to keeping himself busy and avoiding being alone. It had been quite some time now since his mother had passed, and yet the fear of being alone with the pain remained. Honestly? By now Minho sometimes wondered whether it would ever go away.

His reply caused Jisung to huff quietly. “I could say the same about you,” he mumbled, causing guilt to shoot through Minho’s system like an electric shock. He hadn’t even considered that. It made him feel like a horrible person. How could someone be as stupidly stubborn and selfish as him?

“Don’t worry about it,” Jisung mumbled, correctly interpreting the pained look on Minho’s face. “I get paid to sit out there. It’s not the worst gig in the world.”

Minho hummed, hardly convinced. “Are you planning on doing this all your life?” he asked, genuinely interested. Jisung didn’t seem like the type of guy who had always wanted to work in security, not at all.

The younger Alpha laughed quietly. “I wasn’t even planning on doing it now,” he replied, his voice betraying the mixture of amusement and embarrassment he must have been feeling. “I went to college for something entirely different.”

Minho raised a brow. “Oh?” For some reason, that was not the reply he had anticipated. While he did not take Jisung for a hardcore security guy… he also didn’t take him for a scholar. “What did you study?”

“Engineering.”

Oh wow. Yeah, Minho definitely hadn’t expected that.

His surprise must have been obvious because Jisung chuckled again. “Hard to believe, isn’t it?” He shrugged. “I was pretty good at it too.” There was a pause before he shook his head.  “But I hated it.” When he looked up again, he smiled a weird half-smile that somehow looked equal parts happy and sad. “Chan offered me this job. And it’s not engineering, and it pays well… so I took it.”

Minho nodded pensively. He still for the life of him couldn’t remember what Minhyuk’s Omega looked or was like... or even whether he had ever crossed paths with him. But everyone who had met this Chan-guy seemed to love him. So, he decided to see whether he could find out more.

“Do you know Chan well?” he asked, genuinely curious. Jisung’s phrasing hadn’t made it seem as if he had applied for this job in the traditional sense. Plus, an Omega running a security company wasn’t something you came across every day.

Minho hadn’t really thought about what response he had expected, but probably something like ‘Yeah, we were classmates in college’ or ‘Kind of? We were best friends back in high school but drifted apart’… what he definitely hadn’t expected was for Jisung to nervously bite his lip and say: “We actually dated for a bit.”

“Oh.” The answer had been so out of leftfield that Minho almost had to laugh. “Do you often take jobs from your exes?”

Jisung blushed. “He’s my only ex so…” He smirked. “I guess technically I have taken jobs from all of my exes?”

This time, Minho did laugh. “I’ve heard of work relationships turning romantic but never the other way around.” He shook his head, still huffing with laughter. “But good for you, I guess. I mean, that’s definitely better than hating each other. Though… Isn’t he mated? Isn’t that awkward?”

“Honestly?” Jisung was still giggling. “Not really. Minhyuk-Hyung is like a big brother to me. And… I mean we’re chill. It was never going to work out between me and Chan anyways.” He looked almost disgusted by the mere idea of being with Chan, which only added to Minho’s amusement. “I don’t even know how I could ever think that I was romantically interested in him.” The younger shivered dramatically.

Minho chuckled. “Well, when you’re young and don’t know any better…”

His reaction had Jisung giggle again. “Yeah, I guess,” he said and shrugged. “It was probably just because he was the first Alpha who ever showed any kind of romantic interest in me. So of course I was all for it back then.” He laughed once more… but Minho froze.

Suddenly, his ears were ringing, and his heart was racing. Chan was an Alpha. Jisung’s ex was an Alpha. Jisung was gay. Oh. God.

He forced a smile, mumbled: “Well, that’s how it goes sometimes…” and was unbelievably relieved, when Jisung was still seemingly too busy laughing to pick up on his sudden awkwardness.

Minho didn’t want his bodyguard to think that he was homophobic. He wasn’t homophobic. He was just… well… He didn’t think that he had ever met an Alpha who was so open about his attraction to another Alpha.

***

After that first night of anime, Minho and Jisung made a habit of hanging out together.

At first, Minho just invited Jisung to come back to watch more of the series they had started… but after a while they had gotten so comfortable that Jisung came up to the penthouse as soon as he started his shift and didn’t really leave until it was time to go home in the evening – often, he even stayed longer than he was supposed to be working.

Minho wouldn’t have thought that he would like it as much as he did, but it was nice to always have someone around him. By now, Jisung didn’t feel like a guest that he had to entertain or make space for. The younger Alpha made his own coffee, dutifully washed the dishes if Minho had cooked for them, took a shower in the guest bathroom if he needed one, got a blanket from Minho’s closet if he was cold… he seemed to be perfectly content looking after himself. And Minho?

Well… It turned out that Minho liked getting up and knowing that he wouldn’t have to have breakfast alone. He liked regularly cooking for more than one person – especially because Jisung was always so grateful for the food.

It turned out that Minho enjoyed getting a recommendation for a series or a movie from someone on set and putting it in his notes app so that he could tell the younger about it later and Jisung could add it to his list. It turned out that having Jisung hang out with him meant that, for the first time in years, Minho felt excited to return home after finishing work.

It sometimes occurred to Minho that his company was paying Jisung for all of this. Sure, technically he wasn’t getting paid to hang out with Minho… but yeah…

However, whenever Minho got worried about whether Jisung felt obligated to spend time with him because of his job, the younger would stay way past his allocated hours to finish a show or an endlessly stupid game of ‘would you rather’ which then again led Minho to believe that he couldn’t hate hanging out with him that much.

He looked over to where the younger was currently sprawled out on the far side of the couch, clearly struggling to get comfortable with his tea and his blanket. He looked cute like this… Minho had given up on denying that. He didn’t look unhappy. And really, as long as Minho didn’t leave the house, Jisung didn’t necessarily have anything better to do than to waste away the day with him, did he?

Plus, it wasn’t like Minho had asked his company to get him a bodyguard. It almost felt like a small act of rebellion that, instead of making Jisung protect him while going out like he was paid to do, Minho just curled up on the sofa next to him. They should have listened to him when he had said that he didn’t need the extra security! Now, he didn’t exactly feel bad about wasting their money this way.

“I think we should play truth or dare,” Jisung announced when he had seemingly finally settled in his spot. “We finished the best drama ever yesterday and I feel like I need a little bit of a grieving period before I can start a new one.”

Minho chuckled. “Truth or dare?” He raised a brow to portray his scepticism at the suggestion. “Just the two of us?”

Jisung shrugged. “Why not?”

“Hm…” Minho hummed. He didn’t trust Jisung not to suggest something absolutely outrageous if he agreed. “How about two truths and a lie instead?”

“Bet.” Jisung sat up. “But you have to start.”

“Fine.” Minho leaned back and quickly realised that this was going to be much harder than he had anticipated it to be. After long consideration he started with: “I once spilled red wine all over a custom designer outfit worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.” He frowned with concentration. “One time I had a photoshoot on the back of a camel in the desert and…” He bit the inside of his cheek to focus. “And I had to be completely painted in green for a job once.”

Jisung huffed. “These are all work-related,” he complained and the pout that he gave Minho was so heart wrenching that the older Alpha practically melted on the spot. “That’s not the point of the game!”

 “Well, I’ve been working nonstop since I was 18,” Minho argued. “What do you expect?”

His reply caused Jisung to scoff. “You could have at least included a sexy one.”

Minho chuckled. “Fine. Scratch the last one then. I once rented a motorcycle and drove through the entire city in close to freezing temperatures and pouring rain to escape from a hook-up.”

“What?!”

Jisung’s disbelief was immediately worth the embarrassment Minho felt at having impulsively let the admission slip. His eyes were wide, and his jaw had dropped. He absolutely looked as if he genuinely could not fathom that Minho would do such a thing. It was… frankly? Hilarious.

Still, Minho knew that he was probably blushing horribly. And yet, he gave his best to play it cool. “I could have swapped out the lie,” he reminded the younger.

However, Jisung just scoffed. “Nah,” he made. “I’ve already decided that I think that the red wine one is a lie. You’re too stuck up and perfect for that.”

What the fuck? Minho couldn’t help himself, he outright snorted. “Nope,” he said and chuckled. “That’s a true story.”  He burst out laughing again. “But I love that you think of me that way.”

“What the hell?” Jisung looked positively shocked. “Hundreds of thousands of dollars?! Did you get in trouble? Did you have to replace it?”

Minho bit his lip to prevent himself from smirking. He had never really gotten a chance to tell this part of the story before. Usually, he wouldn’t want to, too concerned about coming of as arrogant or boasting. And yet, with Jisung, he decided that it would be fine.

He slowly and deliberately took a sip from his cup before looking right into the younger’s eyes and saying: “It sold for over a million with the stain.”

He had been right. Jisung didn’t look disgusted at the not-so-subtle brag. He just giggled and dramatically exclaimed: “Damn. To be a superstar...” Which in turn caused Minho to chuckle again as well. He only stopped when Jisung looked up at him and asked: “So you really didn’t escape on that motorcycle?”

His question caused Minho to blush once more. “I… uh…” he made and sheepishly looked down at his nails. “I’ve never sat on a camel.”

Jisung immediately began to laugh again though the disbelief still hadn’t left his features. “How old were you when this great escape happened?”

Minho frowned. “About eighteen, I think? Maybe a bit younger.” He shook his head. “I definitely didn’t have the right license… or the right money. I flirted so much with the Omega at the rental place that I basically courted her.”

This seemed to be the most entertaining story Jisung had ever heard because he just kept laughing even harder. “Was the hook up really that bad?”

Minho winced. The truth was that he had actually been dating the guy. He had just not felt like sleeping with him that night… and had probably overreacted in his determination to leave. No, he definitely had. Hell, he had been incredibly rule-loving, even back then, and he had risked getting in real trouble with the law, simply to go home. “I just wasn’t in the mood,” he mumbled.

Jisung shook his head. He was still giggling and gasping for air. “Why didn’t you just tell them that?”

Minho shrugged and decided to pretend to be much cooler than he actually was. “Why tell the truth when you could almost die on a motorcycle instead?”

“Fair point.” Jisung was still fighting to catch his breath, and it filled Minho with a strange sense of accomplishment to think that he had been the cause of so much of the younger’s laughter.

When he had finally caught a grip of himself again, Jisung grinned happily. “Okay, my turn,” he announced and then hummed in concentration. “I was once almost eaten by a crocodile.” He tilted his head. “I’ve never run from a hook-up on a motorcycle that I didn’t pay nor had a license for…”

Minho huffed. “That doesn’t count!”

But Jisung just grinned. “And I have a tattoo of a wolf on my ass.”

Just like he had probably intended - the little shit - that quickly put an end to Minho’s complaining as the older Alpha was suddenly too busy swallowing thickly and trying very hard not to imagine that.

“You don’t have a tattoo on your ass,” he mumbled, honestly just hoping and praying that that was the lie at this point.

Jisung laughed. “You think that’s less likely than the crocodile?”

“So you do?” Minho wasn’t even sure whether he wanted to find out at this point.

And yet, to make matters worse, instead of answering like any normal person would, Jisung turned around and wiggled his ass. “Find out for yourself.”

Without thinking about what he was doing or whether it was appropriate or smart… honestly, without thinking at all, Minho lunged over the sofa and began to tickle the younger until he was gasping for air.

“I surrender. I surrender,” Jisung panted and sighed with relief when Minho finally let up and retreated back to his side of the couch. “I don’t have the tattoo. That was the lie.” Jisung winked. “Sorry.”

Minho threw a pillow at him. “So tell the story about the crocodile instead.”

Chapter Text

“Why is it so hot in here?” Jisung complained. He was sprawled out on Minho’s sofa… which seemed to have become his natural habitat. But he was pouting. “Did you turn off the A/C or something?”

Minho couldn’t help but chuckle a little at that. Jisung’s cheeks were indeed flushed from the heat, but what had he expected to happen when he had picked out what he was going to wear that day? “It’s exactly the same temperature as always,” Minho teased quietly. “It’s your hoodies that keep getting thicker and thicker.”

Jisung pouted. And Minho wasn’t too proud to admit that yes, that expression was fucking adorable on him. If Jisung looked at him like that for too long, Minho would probably try and steal the moon for him… or do something even more stupid.

“But it’s almost September,” the younger Alpha now whined. “I am in my fall era and thick and comfy clothes are an integral part to that.” He sighed and began toying with the hem of the gigantic hoodie that he was wearing that day. “But I guess you’re right. This one is way too fucking hot.”

It wasn’t that Minho wanted to stare. On the contrary, he even tried to tear his gaze away from the younger as he started to – at least partially – undress himself. It was just that, well… he simply couldn’t ignore what he was seeing.

The tank top that Jisung had been wearing underneath the hoodie was barely there and did absolutely nothing to conceal an impeccably built chest and honestly just general upper body. It occurred to Minho in that moment, that he had never seen Jisung not wear something extremely oversized and well… the fact that he was a bodyguard certainly made much more sense now.

The younger’s arms were simply massive, his chest and stomach sculpted and defined… but his waist was so small that Minho could have probably reached around it with one arm. And even just seeing it made Minho want to rethink his life goals and maybe put trying that on top of the list. He was almost dizzy. Minho spent most of his days surrounded by some of the most sought-after models in the world and yet here he was, positively salivating, because Jisung’s proportions were insane.

Plus, there were tattoos. Which… Minho swallowed thickly. He knew that what he was doing in that moment was exactly what he hated when other people did to him. He was staring at Jisung as if he was the most delicious meal in the world, like he wasn’t real, maybe an angel, maybe a god. But how could he have helped himself?

“Do these have a meaning?” Minho’s voice sounded raw and helplessly dumb.

Jisung looked up in utter confusion, but he smiled when he caught Minho staring at his chest. “They do actually,” he said, a faint blush painting his skin the most beautiful pink. “But they’re not super deep.”

The younger seemed to consider something for a moment. And then - to Minho’s alarm – he took off the tank top as well and turned around so that Minho could better see his chest.

“I mean… ‘Blessed’ is kind of obvious,” Jisung mumbled, while Minho was actively trying to not spontaneously combust at the sight of so much of the younger’s beautiful honey-toned skin. He was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge of wanting to attach his lips to Jisung’s neck and suck until he was properly marked and claimed… And yes, that was definitely a normal reaction to have as an Alpha to your Alpha bodyguard taking off his shirt, thank you very much.

“It’s just meant to remind me that no matter what happens, I have so much in my life to be grateful for,” Jisung continued, either not realising that Minho was looking at him like a lion looked at a gazelle, or unwilling to address it. “I am kind of prone to complaining, so that tattoo is supposed to remind me to shut up and be grateful sometimes.”

He smiled and scratched his head. “And then the compass is meant to remind me that no matter what, I will always find my way and then this…” He pointed to a quote right beneath the compass. “This is from one of my favourite movies. Up? Do you know that one? I cried like four times when I watched it.” He turned around and grabbed the remote from the coffee table, bending over in the process so that his sweatpants stretched over his ass and… yup, at this rate Minho might have to excuse himself to go to the bathroom. “We could watch it tonight?”

Minho forced himself to smile when Jisung leaned back again and opened Disney+… still shirtless. “They’re really cool,” he mumbled… which was probably the lamest response ever. Ugh. He shook his head and tried again. “I would love to get a tattoo.” He finally managed to avert his eyes when Jisung put his tank top back on. “I don’t know what I would get but I would love to get something.”

Jisung hummed while he scrolled through seemingly countless Pixar movies. “It can be hard to decide on a design.” He shrugged. “But you don’t have to get one across your chest right away. You could start with something small first. Maybe that way deciding could be easier?”

Minho had to swallow a sigh. The truth was that he would love to get something in honour of his mother. A rose since those had always been her favourite flowers maybe… maybe a lyric from ‘love poem’ because when Minho remembered her, he pictured her singing that song in the bathroom as she got ready for work. But he hadn’t told Jisung about his mother yet. It felt… too personal, too heavy.

One night, when Jisung had been particularly enthralled by the meal that Minho had prepared, the younger had asked him about how he had learned how to cook. Back then, Minho had considered for a moment but then, eventually, quietly repeated with what he had told countless media outlets over the course of his career. “I learned because of my mother.”

It wasn’t a lie per se. His mother had definitely had a big part in him learning how to prepare a good meal. But she hadn’t taught him. He had taught himself, not just so that he wouldn’t starve while she was away for work all day… but eventually also so that she could come home to a nice, warm dinner.

Minho would never tell the media that story. He knew that they would criticize her, that they wouldn’t understand. He wasn’t going to stand for that. He had however truly considered telling Jisung. And yet, in the end he had decided that he didn’t want to put his baggage on the dinner table… and so Jisung had just smiled and said: “That’s nice.” He hadn’t pressed the topic.

And now, that there was another opportunity to tell him, Minho once again just forced a smile. “Maybe,” he mumbled. “But it’s not like I can get one any time soon anyways.”

Jisung frowned. “You can’t?” He tilted his head. “Like, because of your contract or something?”

Minho swallowed. “My contract would technically allow me,” he mumbled. “It’s just because of… you know… jobs.” He sighed. And then, then his mouth apparently decided that it was time to get personal after all. “Sometimes I hate this life.” He didn’t know what was up with him. He never, ever talked like this. Ever. And yet, for some reason it all burst out of him in that moment. “I’d love to dye my hair whenever I want to. I’d love to just be able to go out and hang out with my friends. I’d love to be able to… you know… date.”

Jisung’s frown deepened. “But why can’t you do that?” The reply was so stupid that Minho couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Jisung scoffed. “I’m serious!” he insisted. “If I can hang out in here, why can’t a date?”

Minho hated that he had a point. Still… “If it got out, I’d be fucked,” he mumbled. “I’m not risking my career for that.”

Jisung still looked more thana little sceptical. “I bet it wouldn’t be that bad,” he mumbled. “Tons of celebrities date. Hell, don’t some fake it just for publicity? It’s not like…” But then he stopped. He turned to Minho and realisation dawned on his face. “Oh.”

Minho had no idea what exactly it had been that had made the shoe drop but he smiled sadly. “Yeah…”

And Jisung… Jisung suddenly shifted until he sat right next to Minho. He hesitatingly began to rub his back soothingly and the gesture reminded Minho of something Felix would do… Only that it felt so different with Jisung. It was almost like his touched burned… but in the most pleasant way possible. It made fireworks erupt wherever his hand went. Minho never wanted it to stop.

“It’s okay,” the younger said sympathetically and for some reason his tone almost caused Minho to cry. “I know it makes things so much more complicated, but I promise you that it doesn’t mean that you are doomed to be alone.”

The model wasn’t sure what exactly Jisung was referring to. And yet, he still nodded and allowed himself to be held by his bodyguard.

***

Minho picked up his empty cup for the fifth time in ten minutes. He had long finished his coffee. It had already been his second of the morning and yet he was tempted to drink another one. He was so, so nervous… and he didn’t even really know why. Well, he did. But rationally he knew that it was stupid to be this anxious for a reaction of his fucking bodyguard.

Still when the doorbell rang, he positively jumped to his feet. However, before he opened, he hurried to the full body mirror at the end of the hallway. The beanie looked a bit stupid… but that was the point… kind of. He took a deep breath and then tried to give himself an encouraging smile. Showtime.

Jisung was beaming at him when Minho finally opened the door. He held up a bag of breakfast that he must have picked up on the way. “Hungry?”

Minho smirked back. “Need to piss?”

His words had the desired effect. Jisung immediately pulled his shoulders towards his ears and began to giggle. It was such a stupid little thing that Minho had started doing whenever he opened the door for Jisung… and yet it never failed to make the younger laugh. So, of course, Minho kept doing it.

As he stepped inside, Jisung lightly boxed the older’s shoulder. “You’re so lame, Hyung.” Minho smiled but held his breath as he waited for… “Wait, why are you wearing a hat?” There it was.

“Well,” he mumbled, fully aware that his ears were probably turning crimson and very glad that they were also hidden away. “When you left yesterday, I kind of… I don’t even know why?” He wanted the earth to open up and swallow him whole. Just so he wouldn’t have to endure Jisung’s confused expression for a single second longer. Why hadn’t he thought of what he was going to say ahead of time?

“Do you remember how we talked about you know…. tattoos, the freedom to just do stuff… all that?” He swallowed. Jisung still looked extremely confused. “Well, I kind of couldn’t stop thinking about it?” He blushed and then… and then he took the hat off. “I figured that maybe I should just… you know… try it?”

Jisung’s expression alone was worth all of the trouble that Minho had had to go through the night before. As soon as Jisung had left and the model had come up with a plan, he had called Felix.

“Hyung?” It had been obvious that the Omega had either already gone to bed or was about to. “Are you okay?”

Minho had hurried to reassure him that, yes, he was fine. “I just need you to go to the store for me,” he had insisted. “Jisung already left, and I am not allowed to go by myself.”

Unsurprisingly, Felix hadn’t exactly been eager to comply with Minho’s wishes. But after a few ‘are you insane, Hyung?’s he had let himself be convinced.

When he had shown up at the penthouse, it had been long past midnight. Minho had never seen Felix regard anyone with a look that was quite as judgmental as the one he had given him when he had walked through his front door… and Minho had seen the younger in a lot of situations.

“What happened?” the Omega had asked exasperatedly. “Why are you having a mental breakdown?”

Minho had rolled his eyes. “I am not having a mental breakdown,” he had muttered. “I just wanted to try it.”

Felix had raised an unimpressed brow. “In the middle of the night? On a Tuesday?”

“Well… evidently.” Minho had sighed. “Come on Lixie. A little bit of purple won’t kill anyone.”

It wasn’t a little bit of purple. It was a lot of purple. Felix had worked on his hair for hours and now… Now, Minho matched fucking Tinky Winky. It was perfect.

It was perfect because now, Minho got to watch how Jisung’s expression went from surprised to shocked to nothing but utterly awed. The widest smile Minho had ever seen on him spread across his features. “It suits you, Hyung,” he whispered and reached out to gently tug at a strand. The simple action alone was enough to take Minho’s breath away. He didn’t want to think about why that was. Luckily, he was soon distracted because Jisung smirked and added: “Honestly? You look hot as fuck.”

Minho choked on nothing but thin air. What the fuck? Had Jisung really just said that? Was he insane?

“What?!” God, he sounded so fucking pathetic.

Jisung giggled. “You heard me,” he teased as he pushed past Minho towards the coffee machine. However, before he had gotten far, he stopped to look over his shoulder. “But I’ll tell you again if you want me to.”

Minho almost said yes. He suddenly really, really wanted Jisung to say those words again. However, he caught himself before he could make a complete and utter fool of himself. And instead of saying ‘yes, please, pretty please’, he rolled his eyes.

“Get your ass on this couch,” he mumbled in his best imitation of someone who was indifferent to the fact that his bodyguard had just called him ‘hot as fuck’. “I need to know what happens next with that fish that they sent to space.”

***

Obviously, Minho couldn’t have given two shits about that damn fish. Even the night before, he had barely paid attention to the weird ass show that Jisung had insisted they’d start… But how else was he supposed to have rescued himself from that situation?

Jisung was still giggling when he crawled onto the sofa and Minho realised with a jolt that the younger Alpha was much closer than he usually was. Normally, Jisung curled up on the far side of the couch. And yet, here he was, right next to Minho, clutching his steaming cup of coffee in both hands and smiling up at him.

“It was so cold this morning,” he said quietly. “It really feels like fall is in the air now.” He shuffled even closer. Minho felt his back inadvertently stiffen up, but Jisung didn’t seem to mind. He just pulled his legs close to his chest and curled up against Minho’s side. “I like the cold. It just makes everything cozier.”

Minho forced himself to at least pretend as if he felt totally normal about having Jisung lean against him in this way. He hummed. “Yeah.” Wow. What an intelligent response. And yet Jisung cuddling him seemed to have wiped out the few braincells that Minho had had left. Cuddling? Was it cuddling? Minho wasn’t sure. But he decided that he liked the proximity.

He liked how intense Jisung’s deep and rich scent of chocolate was when he was this close… Hell, he even liked how it mixed so seamlessly with his own coffee scent. He took a deep breath and had to suppress a shudder. Then, he gathered all of his bravery and carefully wrapped his arms around Jisung’s shoulders.

The younger immediately took it and pulled him closer. He sighed contently. And Minho inadvertently smiled as well. For some reason having the other Alpha this close almost seemed to force calmness and relaxation into his system. It felt good.

They started the space fish series and Minho soon zoned out. As he absentmindedly let his fingers run up and down Jisung’s arm, he reflected on how different his life could have been, had he not been scouted at sixteen and signed a contract with the biggest agency in the country just a few weeks later.

He imagined himself in a dorm room instead of a multi-million-dollar penthouse… Imagined a twin bed, cheap linen and pillows, books and homework everywhere… What would he have studied? In a perfect world, he would have liked to think that he would have done dance… but he would have never been brave enough for that. Maybe veterinary medicine? He would have loved to work with animals.

Minho pictured how Jisung would be laying in his arms just like he was now and that the same space fish show would be on… but that they wouldn’t be paying attention to it. Instead, Jisung would be going on and on about how engineering wasn’t the right fit for him and Minho would be encouraging him to switch to a different field. And Jisung would smile that heart-shaped smile at him and…

He winced. No. If he was still at uni, he would have no clue about what his future would bring… There would be so much uncertainty. He had already made enough money to last a lifetime, how could he be ungrateful for that? And so what if he was trapped inside of the penthouse and the person in his arms was his bodyguard? This was fine. It was stable. It was safe.

Chapter Text

When Jeongin announced that he was back in the country a couple of weeks later, Minho immediately invited him over to his place. Having just made his acting debut, the younger worked overseas so much these days that they barely got to see each other and so every opportunity had had to be seized.

Back when Felix had introduced Jeongin to the group, it had been glaringly obvious just how much the younger Alpha looked up to Minho. And while the older had tried his best to guide and mentor him as much as he could, over the years, they had simply become extremely good friends. To Minho, the younger was almost like a little brother by now.

Of course, Minho was proud of Jeongin and happy that he finally got the opportunities that he deserved. The younger Alpha had had only been picked up by Hyunjin’s manager about a year ago. Before that, he had been with a terrible agency that had done far more damage than they had done good and it had been a nightmare and taken the combined forces of Minhyuk, Seungmin, Felix, Hyunjin and Minho to get him out of that contract.

So yeah, of course he invited him over… but he didn’t stop to consider whether it would be awkward that Jisung – who had all but moved in at that point – would of course also be there.

Jisung had become a stable presence in Minho’s life. Whenever they could, they made coffee and had breakfast in the morning before they had to leave for Minho’s schedules. Throughout the day, they would make little jokes to somehow brighten a dull day of work, until they cuddled up on the couch together in the evenings.

And yes, by now, there was no discussion about whether what they did should be considered cuddling or not. It absolutely was. Usually, it was still Jisung who curled up in Minho’s arms, but on occasion Minho had also found himself being held by the younger.

Hell, once they had even accidentally fallen asleep in front of the TV and Minho had woken up with his face pressed into the crook of Jisung’s neck, with two strong arms slung around his waist… Not even Minho would deny that that was cuddling.

And yet, he somehow still hadn’t panicked. Normally, Minho would have never let anyone, especially another Alpha, get this close to him. Normally, he would have long gotten too afraid of what this could mean for the jobs he could book, for his career, for his life…

However, with Jisung, it was just so easy to ignore all of that. It was so easy to simply hide behind the label of Jisung being ‘his bodyguard’. If Minho didn’t think about it too hard, he could simply pretend that this was normal behaviour for two bored and lonely people who were more or less forced to be around each other.

Of course, even Minho wouldn’t have been able to deny that, somehow, he just was extremely comfortable with Jisung. He liked having him around. Hell, he liked having him close. But it wasn’t like they kissed or anything… and so Minho was still able to convince himself that none of what they were doing was weird… or concerning… or, well… gay.

Hell, he was so sure in that, that he hadn’t stopped to consider that it might be strange for Jeongin and Jisung, neither of whom knew each other, to just meet unexpectantly.

Jisung happened to be in the shower when the younger model arrived. Apart from the lingering scent of chocolate that could have honestly meant anything, there were no traces of him to be found when Jeongin stumbled inside of the apartment, and as such it probably shouldn’t have been surprising that the younger hadn’t asked any questions or suspected a thing.

However, the two friends had only just settled on the couch, when Minho’s bodyguard walked into the living room with damp hair, dressed in sweats and what Minho knew to be his favourite hoodie announcing that he was ready for ‘The Princess Diaries 2’ and Jeongin’s jaw dropped to the floor.

“Oh.” Jisung stopped dead in his tracks when he caught sight of the unknown Alpha. “Hi?”

He looked to Minho, presumably for an explanation, but Jeongin was quicker: “Hi.” He looked as confused as Jisung did… which Minho honestly thought was pretty hilarious. “And you are…?”

The bodyguard frowned. “I’m Jisung,” he said slowly, as if he wasn’t quite sure whether he wanted to give Jeongin that information. “Who are you?”

It seemed that at least Jeongin had somewhat recovered from the initial surprise when it was time for him to politely smile again. “I’m Jeongin. Nice to meet you.” He got up and offered a hand to Jisung who hesitatingly shook it. After the awkward exchange, Jeongin turned around to give his friend an incredulous look.

Minho’s stomach tightened. Suddenly, he was extremely aware of what Jeongin must be assuming in that moment. Especially, when he could see surprise flash across the younger’s face, presumably because he had gotten a whiff of Jisung’s unmistakably Alpha scent. “This is the bodyguard that Seungmin made me get,” he rushed to explain. And even added a panicked: “Don’t worry.”

Jisung scoffed. “Right,” he mumbled. “Which is why I should have been informed that someone was coming.” He gave Minho a look so cold that it caused him to shiver. The older had never seen him act this way. He frowned. Since when did Jisung take his bodyguard duties seriously?

“He’s on the approved list,” Minho argued. “Stop pretending like you care about the protocol and sit down so we can watch something.”

Jisung laughed. But there wasn’t a trace of humour in the sound. “No thank you,” he said decidedly. “I will wait in the car.”

Slowly but surely, panic crept into Minho’s system. “Why?” he whispered, suddenly wishing that they were alone so that it wouldn’t feel awkward to go and hug Jisung. “We can still watch the movie. I don’t think Jeongin would mind.”

This time, Jisung didn’t even reply. He just turned around and marched to the door. In the next moment, he was gone. And Minho was left to stare after him with his jaw dropped and a strange ringing in his ears.

As soon as the door closed, Jeongin groaned. “You’re so dumb, Hyung,” he whined and threw a pillow in Minho’s general direction.

“What did I do wrong?” Minho was getting more and more angry by the minute. Why had Jisung acted that way? Did he not understand that Minho would still have friends over on occasion? “I offered that he could watch the movie with us, didn’t I?”

Jeongin rolled his eyes. “I presume that this wouldn’t have been the first time you would have watched a movie together?” he asked, while still looking at Minho as if he was the biggest idiot in the world.

A mental image of Jisung and him cuddled up on the couch made Minho blush and look down at his hands. Jeongin groaned. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He scoffed. “Hyung, that guy just came in here with the confidence and casualness of someone who lives in here. And he clearly wasn’t expecting me.” He looked absolutely exasperated. “Why didn’t you just tell him that I was coming over?”

Minho huffed. “Didn’t think it would be an issue,” he mumbled. “And he doesn’t live here. We just… hang out.”

Jeongin sighed. “Right… And what do you do when you ‘hang out’?” He drew quotation marks around the last two words. “Do you have breakfast together? Do you spend all day cuddled up on the couch watching movies? Do you fall asleep in each other’s arms?”

Minho swallowed. “Maybe.”

His response caused Jeongin to bark out a laugh. It sounded too loud in the too empty apartment. “Seriously?” He shook his head. “I was kidding! Hyung, that poor guy is probably in love with you.” He groaned. “God, why didn’t you just tell him that I was coming over?”

Minho scoffed. “Whether he’s in love with me is not my problem.” He didn’t even deny it. He couldn’t. He knew that there was a real chance that Jisung had developed feelings for him… and also a chance that they weren’t entirely unreciprocated either…

By now, Jeongin just looked downright disappointed and maybe even a little sad. “Hyung…” he said gently but Minho couldn’t bare it.

“What?” he barked and got up to get himself a drink. “I’m not even gay!” What he didn’t add was the silent: ‘I can’t be’ that a pleading voice that sounded suspiciously like his younger self desperately added in his head.

***

Minho was sitting in the dressing room on set for one of the biggest campaigns he would do all year. The shoot had been scheduled for months and usually, even Minho would have been nervous before a project like this. That morning however there was just one thing or rather one person on his mind… Jisung.

After Minho had barked at Jeongin to very believably deny any homosexuality, the younger hadn’t brought the bodyguard up for the rest of the night. Or well, at least not until he had put his shoes and coat back on to bid his friend goodbye.

Minho had been able to tell that he was about to mention him before Jeongin had even opened his mouth… The younger had just always been so obvious in the way he nervously averted his eyes and touched his ears.  He had still been surprised when Jeongin had suddenly pulled him into a tight hug. “I can only imagine how hard this is for you, Hyung,” he had mumbled. “But if you let your own fear hold you back on this… you might regret it for the rest of your life.”

Minho had swallowed thickly. He had wanted to ask: ‘And what if I ruin everything?’ But that itself would have been an admission that he had not been ready to make. In the end, he simply hadn’t been able to bring himself to say it. He had only shaken his head and had mumbled: “Good night, Innie.”

He had gone to bed with the resolution to not think about it at all. And yet, Minho hadn’t been able to sleep. ‘If you let your own fear hold you back, you might regret it for the rest of your life.’ Jeongin’s words kept ringing through his mind.

Would he?

As he had uselessly tossed and turned, he had tried to imagine it, had tried to imagine how he would feel if he had truly messed everything up that evening… He had tried to picture how he would feel if Jisung were to resign and never ever talk to him again. He had started crying at the notion.

At five in the morning, Minho had officially given up on sleep and had gotten up to prepare breakfast instead. He had made everything that he knew Jisung liked, had arranged it so that it looked cute, had spent hours in the kitchen… That morning, he had convinced himself that Jisung would simply come and knock on his door like he always did and that he would smile at the smell of the food. In Minho’s mind, Jisung would hug him, and Minho would get to breathe in his scent, and everything would be okay again.

However, Jisung hadn’t turned up in time for breakfast. The hours and minutes had ticked by and yet… nothing.  Minho had never felt more pathetic in his life than when he had packed the breakfast into Tupperware in an effort to convince himself that Jisung had just overslept.

When Jisung had eventually shown up, it had been only in time to escort him to his car and accompany him to the shoot.

It was pitiful, how Minho had arrived on set with his stupid little bag full of boxes of food. Especially, because his bodyguard had been so cold to him that he hadn’t even been able to bring himself to ask Jisung whether he wanted some.

By now, he couldn’t deny that Jisung was pissed, that he was mad at him. And yet, he still couldn’t really make sense of as to why. Was it really ‘just’ because he hadn’t told him that Jeongin would visit?

He winced when the door to his dressing room suddenly flew open. “You were right!” Seungmin stomped inside, and Minho knew that this had to be worse than just the usual stress of being at a high stakes shoot. Not just because Seungmin was so red with anger that Minho wouldn’t have been surprised if actual smoke started coming out of his nose and/or ears but also because he had just said that Minho was right. Which… that was never a good sign. “The bodyguard experiment is over.”

Minho felt his heart fall through his stomach. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.  What happened? Panic began filling his system. Had Jisung actually resigned? He couldn’t have… right? He wouldn’t… Minho’s throat began to close up and tears started stinging in his eyes. He tried to ask Seungmin about what was going on, but his voice failed him.

Luckily, Seungmin still explained. “Han Jisung just got in a fucking fist fight with the photographer.” He huffed. “I’m going to fire him as soon as the venue security is done talking to him.”

Minho winced. He was used to Seungmin talking this roughly but when he did so about Jisung… well, it hurt. “Don’t fire him.” His voice was barely more than a whisper and he was ducking his head.

“What?” Seungmin looked absolutely incredulous. “What do you mean ‘don’t fire him’? You threatened to fire me over hiring a bodyguard…. Why the fuck would you want to keep him now?”

Minho swallowed and stared at his hands. They were shaking. “Just don’t,” he whispered. “I’ll talk to him. But please don’t fire him.”

Seungmin scoffed. He was scrutinizing Minho for what felt like years. And yet, Minho never looked up. Not until Seungmin sighed and defeated grumbled: “Fine.”

***

Seungmin wasn’t gone for long. Only a few minutes after he had left, he already stomped back inside. This time with a very angry-looking Jisung in tow.

Minho’s breath caught in his chest at the sight of the younger Alpha. He looked… well, as if someone had just punched him in the face. One eye was almost swollen shut and there were remnants of blood on his lips. As soon as he saw him, Minho was sure that Jisung hadn’t just gotten in a fight for nothing. This had to be bigger… and yet, he wasn’t sure whether he could get his bodyguard to admit that.

In that moment, Minho wanted nothing more than to just hold Jisung. He probably would have run straight into his arms – fuck Seungmin – had his bodyguard not still glared at him as if he wished that Minho would just suddenly drop dead.

Seungmin didn’t seem to share Minho’s sympathy. He had crossed his arms by the door and raised an unimpressed brow. “So?” he asked. “What was that just about?”

Jisung ducked his head. It was obvious that he knew that he had fucked up. And yet, Minho would be right about him not wanting to admit it. “It was nothing,” he just mumbled… a lie if Minho had ever heard one.

Seungmin scoffed. “I really hope that it wasn’t nothing for your sake,” he hissed. Minho winced again. He absolutely hated that his manager talked to Jisung that way.

“Seungmin?” he asked carefully, speaking up for the first time since Jisung had entered his dressing room. “Could you maybe give us five?” He looked at his manager with an expression that hopefully made it clear that he wasn’t above begging. “Please?”

The Beta seemed absolutely exasperated. He threw his hands up, as if to ask some higher being what he had done to deserve this. But eventually, he left.

As soon as the door fell shut behind him, Minho focused all of his attention on Jisung. He hesitantly approached him, slowly walked closer with one hand raised in an effort to gently cup his cheek and comfort him… but Jisung turned away before he could make contact. “Don’t touch me.”

The words were like a slap in the face.

Minho felt his bottom lips start to tremble. “I don’t understand,” he whispered. “Why are you so angry? What have I done?”

Jisung scoffed. “Look,” he said coldly. “I understand that we’re not together and that I am therefore in no position to demand anything from you.” He clicked his tongue. “But I would have assumed that it’s simply common decency to at least tell me when you plan to have another Alpha over.”

Minho frowned. “I should have asked you,” he admitted quietly, choosing to ignore the part about them being together for now. That was something to lose sleep over later. “I… I just assumed that it would be fine.”

Jisung still looked angrier than Minho had ever seen him. “We had plans,” he insisted. And before Minho could object and say that technically, they hadn’t ever said that they were going to watch a movie together, Jisung dejectedly added: “I made a complete fool of myself.” He sounded positively disgusted, and it tore right through Minho’s heart. “Couldn’t you have least given me a heads-up so that I would have had a chance to compose myself?”

His words caused Minho’s heart to skip a beat, he felt horrible. “Jeongin was mad at me too,” he whispered. “He said that I should have informed you. He…”

Jisung made a noise that managed to portray both his complete and utter disbelief as well as his contempt for Minho.  “Oh,” he hissed. “I’m so glad that at least your date had some manners.” He clicked his tongue again. “Want to maybe give me his number?”

Minho winced. He was suddenly nauseous. And he wasn’t even strong enough to pretend that part of that wasn’t raw and ugly jealousy at the notion of Jisung making a move on Jeongin. “He’s just a friend,” he whispered.

Jisung scoffed. “A friend that you fuck?”

“No.” Minho’s voice was so quiet that it was hardly more than a breath by now. He was shaking. The reality that he was arguing with Jisung about whether he had slept with another Alpha hit him with the force of a thousand bricks and… in a moment of nothing but pure and utter panic, he added a whispered: “I don’t sleep with Alphas.”

Chapter Text

There was complete silence for a while. The only sounds in the dressing room were muffled shouts and instructions yelled by strangers on the set, the ticking of a clock on the wall and Minho’s rapidly beating heart. He swallowed thickly. “I…”

But Jisung didn’t let him speak.  “I feel so sorry for you.”

Those words hurt more than anything else he could have possibly said.

“When you dyed your hair, I was so happy for you.” He shook his head, almost as if he couldn’t believe it himself. “I truly thought that could mark a new beginning. A fresh chapter of your life in which you aren’t completely driven by your own fear anymore.” He swallowed. “How long did you last until you dyed it back?” He huffed. “A week?”

Minho winced. “It was for a job,” he whispered.

Jisung didn’t even react to his excuse. He knew as well as Minho that there would have been another way. He knew as well as Minho that the older had used the first opportunity that had presented itself to dye his hair right back. Jisung didn’t need to listen to Minho’s lies. He could see right through him. “Do you know what I think?” he asked slowly, almost threateningly.

Minho really didn’t want to find out.

“I think that you’re scared.” Jisung scoffed. “You sit around and complain about how you can’t cut your hair and how you can’t get a tattoo… When the reality is that no one is stopping you from doing these things. The only thing you have to fear is judgement. And apparently that’s enough to stop you.”

Minho forced himself to straighten up. “Get out.” His voice was as calm and decisive as he could force it to be.

But Jisung didn’t care. He just came closer and closer, invading Minho’s space more and more. “And you know what?” he whispered. “I think that’s why you hated me as soon as you saw me.” He tilted his head aggressively. “Not just because you didn’t want a bodyguard.” He huffed out a humourless laugh. “You hated me because I am everything you are too scared to be. I have my hair the way I want, I have tattoos and,” he looked up. “And you know what? I’ll even add another thing that you can be envious off.” He smiled far too sweetly. “Because I can look you in the eyes and admit that I like Alphas.”

Minho shivered. He tried to take a step away from Jisung, but his back hit the wall. “I like them close to me.” The bodyguard put his hands on either side of Minho’s face, effectively trapping him between them.

“I like to kiss them.” He licked his lips, and Minho couldn’t help but follow the motion. “I like to drop to my knees and suck their fat cocks.” He hollowed his cheeks. By now Minho was positively dizzy. “I like to bend over and let them fuck me.” Minho sucked in a sharp breath. Jisung just smirked. “And sometimes I like to bend them over and watch them struggle to take my knot.”

There was no way for Minho to hide just how affected he was in that moment. His heart was racing, he let out so much scent that people could probably smell coffee in the hallway as they walked by, he knew that his face had to be crimson, and well… his pants definitely hadn’t always been this tight either.

Jisung stepped back. “I think that’s the third reason why you hated me…” he said, cocky as ever. “You hated my guts because you were attracted to me.” He smirked and nodded to the noticeable bulge in Minho’s pants. “And I’d hazard the guess that you still are.” Those would be the last words that he said before he turned around and left the set.

***

How Minho had somehow managed to get through that shoot would forever remain a mystery to him. He had been so numb to everything that had happened around him, had moved through the schedules almost like a puppet controlled by strings. It had seemed so absurd to him that everything just went on as normal… as if his whole life hadn’t just been shattered to pieces and stepped on in the dirt.

Chan had sent in a replacement for Jisung for the day, since the venue security had kicked the bodyguard out after the fight. And Minho hadn’t even been able to bear the mere sight of the stranger. He had known that he would burst into tears as soon as he laid eyes on him. And so, he had kept his head down and his eyes locked onto the floor.

It had bordered on a miracle that he had been able to stay professional throughout the day… or maybe it was simply the years of experienced that had left him numb and strung out but able to carry on despite the fact that he had been on the verge of tears for hours, unable and unwilling to eat anything, shaking so much that he couldn’t even open a water bottle.

What he did know was that he collapsed into desperate sobs as soon as he got home. He hadn’t even had time to put down his keys before his knees gave out and he was sitting on the ground with his back against his front door, crying his heart out.

It wasn’t just that Jisung still despised him… although that hurt immensely. What was worse was that he was right.

He was so fucking right about Minho, who had always been afraid of judgment, of stepping out of line, of doing anything that could possibly hurt his chances. Minho, who had figured out that he would like to try to be romantic with another Alpha years ago, but who had always been too scared to actually go through with it. And Minho, who had dyed his hair purple in a moment of bravery and who had gotten extremely self-conscious and had dyed it right back at the first opportunity that had presented itself.

It could have been minutes, hours or days until Minho finally gathered the strength to stand back up. His tears had dried by then, but his legs were still shaking so badly that he had to hold onto the wall for balance. His eyes and throat hurt endlessly, his head was pounding, and he felt so disgusted with himself that he wished he could just throw up.

It was hell, how he found himself wandering aimlessly through the apartment, as if he could thereby somehow escape the pain. Without making the conscious decision, he eventually crawled into the guest bathroom, the only room in which there were still traces of Jisung… A toothbrush by the sink, a used towel that had been hung up to dry, and – fuck - a hoodie.

Minho’s heart stopped. He immediately dropped himself on top of the piece of clothing as if it might escape if he didn’t. It was soft and warm from the heated floor and… he buried his nose in the fabric, it still smelled like Jisung. He immediately began to sob once more.

He hated how the chocolate was still there, but how even the scent of Jisung was faded. He despised how it provided him with a semblance of comfort while also just serving as yet another reminder that Jisung had left.

Suddenly, Minho couldn’t stand being on the floor anymore. He jumped up as nervous energy poisoned his veins. His heart was racing again, and he was gasping for air. To distract himself, Minho began pacing.  He paced through the kitchen, then the living room… until finally coming to a halt in his bedroom.

There, right on top of his dresser, was something as simple as it was heartbreaking that had stopped him…. a faded but framed picture of him and his mother. He swallowed and stared at it for a while. Minho absolutely loved that photo.

It had been taken by a neighbour when he had been about ten. In it, his eyes were big and round and curious, and Minho smiled as he remembered how fascinated he had been by the camera back then. It was absurd really, considering how much time he spent around cameras of every price class and calibre now. But something like that hadn’t been common where he had grown up. Not at all.

Minho had only realised how poor he and his mother had been as he had grown older. As a kid, he had never really noticed how small the apartment they had lived in had been, how they had never really had anything new, or how his mother would occasionally go hungry, just to make sure that he had enough to eat. As a child Minho had simply assumed that every mother worked all day and only had a few hours to spend with her son on the weekends.

He took the picture from the dresser and gently cradled it in his hands. He still remembered that they had just come home from the market when the neighbour had snapped the shot. But even if he hadn’t recalled that detail, he would have been able to tell from how dressed up his mother was in it. She had always said that if you were beautiful, you needed to make use of it for good deals.

Now, Minho smiled at the notion. In a way, he had taken her advice to the extreme and had built an entire career around his looks. The thought made him once again wonder whether she would be proud of what he had built for himself.

He gently touched the glass of the frame. His mother looked young in that photograph. Beautiful. Almost… happy. Whenever Minho imagined a heaven, he pictured her laughing and looking exactly like this.

“Mum?” he asked into the emptiness of his penthouse. “I miss you so much.” It was not what he had been planning to say. But he couldn’t move on before telling her that. Because it was the truth. Even after all these years, Minho still missed his mother with every breath he took.

“I…” he began slowly. “I don’t know what to do. I…” He wanted to ask for her advice, wanted to tell her about Jisung, about what had been going on… but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. It broke his heart.

But the reality was that even If she had still been there, he wouldn’t have asked her. It would have been pointless. He knew what she would have said anyways… She would have cautioned him. Of course she would have. His mother would have told him that a ‘fling’ with his hot bodyguard wasn’t worth his career.

Minho had never gotten the chance to ask her, but he had always wondered whether there had been a time in his mother’s life when she had believed in love. He knew that she had never mated, that she had gotten pregnant with him from a boyfriend of hers that had immediately dipped upon finding out and that her parents had kicked her out that very same night. It was why it had only ever been the two of them.

Sometimes Minho wondered whether she had loved his father. Maybe. But maybe not. He knew that she probably regretted the relationship with him. A relationship that had cost her everything. Even if she had always said that she couldn’t be angry because all of it had given her Minho.

Minho couldn’t remember how old he had been when he had realised that she was lying to protect him. Of course she was angry. With everything she had experienced, how could she not have been?

Maybe it was impossible to believe in love after you had been abandoned by so many. Hell, when she had died, the only people at her funeral had been a handful of neighbours, some colleagues, Hyunjin, Jeongin, Seungmin, Felix and Minho. Not even her own parents had shown up.

He wondered whether his mother would have wanted him to believe in love. Minho definitely wanted to. And he did have reason to believe. He could still feel the love that his mother had tirelessly poured into him when he looked at her photograph. He knew that it was real and possible… There was just the question of whether his mother thought that he should ask an Alpha to be with him.

While they had never ever talked about it, Minho had always had a suspicion that his mum had known about his… inclination towards Alphas. Maybe even before he had known about it himself. And she had always been clear about her opinions of it. She had never been homophobic… But she had known that the world was, and she had made sure that Minho knew was well.

His mother had never been an idealist. How could she have been with the life that she had lived? She had always stayed firmly rooted in reality and had always been unyielding in her belief that what you wanted was not always what you needed. So, yeah… even without being able to truly ask her, Minho knew that she would have never told him to pursue Jisung.

***

Fuck. Minho put the picture down and buried his face in Jisung’s hoodie instead.

A tear rolled down his cheek as he breathed in the scent of chocolate that he loved so endlessly. From the moment he had encountered the scent for the very first time, Minho had been enthralled by it. It was so deep and so strong, so Alpha in so many ways. And yet it had that warmth to it, that slight sweet edge that made Minho think of wrapping his hands around a steaming cup of hot cocoa and curling up by a fireplace.

Just the faint trace of the scent on the hoodie already made Minho feel comforted. Even if he had never wanted anything as much ever in his life as he wanted Jisung to hold him in that moment. His legs gave out from underneath him, and he slid onto the ground again.

Never in his life had Minho ever felt quite as pathetic and miserable as he felt in that moment. When his mother had died, he had spent night and nights full on sobbing in Felix’s arms. And yet, that had at least felt appropriate. Now… what was he even crying about? Not getting the guy he wanted?

He shivered. No. This was bigger than that, and deep-down Minho knew it. He wasn’t crying over Jisung. Well, he was. But he was mostly crying over the fact that the one thing he had always repressed about himself, the one truth he had never been willing to address, the one thing that Minho never wanted to acknowledge had become impossible to ignore.

He took out his phone as if in a trance. For a moment, he just stared at the lockscreen. It was a picture of a cat and apparently that was enough to cause him to start crying again. He didn’t even know why.

As he went through his contacts, Minho realised that he didn’t have Jisung’s private number. Only his work one. He pressed the contact. The phone was turned off. Minho didn’t leave a message after the tone.

The reality of it all hit Minho at a thousand miles per hour. He and Jisung had gone weeks practically spending their whole lives together. Minho had learned so much about Jisung, so many small things and habits.

During the meals they had enjoyed together, Minho had learned that the younger Alpha had a massive sweet tooth, that he didn’t like spicy food, that he couldn’t handle more than a can of beer and that he was absolutely useless in the kitchen. During their movie nights, he had understood that Jisung laughed as easily as he cried and that he could get fascinated by practically anything. When they had cuddled, Minho had realised that Jisung liked back hugs, that he was sensitive to touch and that he made a sound almost like a purr when Minho scented him.

And yet, there was still so much that Minho didn’t know about him yet. He had no idea what relationship Jisung had to his family, whether he had siblings, whether he had a happy childhood… He didn’t know whether he had many friends, whether he believed in true love, whether he had ever lost someone… Hell, Minho didn’t even know his phone number.

He looked down at the phone as if it was personally responsible for all of his failures and shortcomings. Jeongin had sent him a photo from one of his sets... It just reminded Minho of what the younger model had told him: “If you let your own fear hold you back on this… you might regret it for the rest of your life.”

It was almost laughable to Minho that he had once questioned whether Jeongin had been right. By now, Minho was entirely sure that if he didn’t get Jisung back by his side… whether that was as a friend or… or maybe even as something more – he would never ever get over it.

Suddenly, his mind supplied him with the mental image of how close Jisung had gotten to him earlier that day in his dressing room… Minho sobbed as he remembered all of the things he had said, all of the things he had been right about. ‘You were attracted to me.’

Yeah. Minho was. He had been from the moment they had met… and he still was maybe even more so now. What was the use in denying it?

He let out another choked sob. Suddenly, he felt as if he would suffocate if he didn’t tell anyone. Suddenly, it felt as if the weight of the truth was too heavy on him, as if he would get crushed if he didn’t share the load. He opened his chat with Jeongin again. He didn’t even stop to think about what he was doing before he wrote: I like Alphas. He paused. Hesitated. And then he added: I like Jisung.

When he put his phone down, Minho was shaking worse than he had all day. It was an overwhelming moment. He had never said that to anyone. Ever. Somehow, saying it made it more real. It made it scarier… But it also felt as if he could finally breathe again.

Of course, he technically knew that Jeongin wouldn’t judge him. Still, when the three little dots kept appearing and disappearing on his screen, Minho began to get extremely nervous despite his better judgement.

In the end, he of course had nothing to worry about. Thank you for trusting me with that, Jeongin just replied. I know that this hasn’t been easy for you. But nothing changes. I just want you to know that we are all proud of you and that we will all be by your side, no matter what.

Chapter Text

Jisung was gone for a week.

Apparently, Chan had decided that it was best to exchange him for someone else for a bit after the incident with that photographer. And Minho had to excuse himself to the bathroom so he could sob into his hands when a much bigger, much more intimidating looking Alpha had greeted him instead of Jisung. The new guy didn’t talk at all. He didn’t laugh. He didn’t even crack a smile. Overall, he made Minho incredibly uncomfortable.

And the worst thing was that Minho hadn’t known whether Jisung would eventually come back. The one time he had gathered all of his bravery and asked Seungmin about it, his manager had just shrugged. “That’s up to Chan, I’d guess,” he had said. “Do you have any problems with the new guy?”

Minho had shaken his head. Because well… the only problem he really had was that his smile wasn’t heart-shaped, that he didn’t close his arms around Minho’s waist and nuzzled into his neck while Minho was preparing dinner for the two of them, that he didn’t smell like chocolate and well, simply that he wasn’t Jisung.

However, after exactly one week, Minho was put out of his misery… at least partially. Because at least Jisung was back. He still kept his distance. He insisted on spending his days in his car. He kept their exchanges painfully professional. But at least he was back.

There was just a new issue now: Minho. Or rather the fact that Minho was clearly in pre-rut.

He had felt dizzy all morning, weak on his legs, nauseous… They were on yet another set, for yet another campaign and he simply was not doing well. It felt as if there were bees buzzing underneath his skin. And he was hot. So, so, so hot. And thirsty and…

“Minho!” Seungmin looked far from happy with him.

It caused the model to let out an exasperated groan. The last thing he needed in that moment was for Seungmin to annoy the fuck out of him. Suddenly, Minho was overwhelmed with the urge of wanting to punch his manager in the face. Of course he would never actually do that... But he sat on his hands, just in case.

“Why wouldn’t you tell us that you’re in pre-rut?”

Minho let out a low growl. “I’m not supposed to have my rut for another three weeks,” he grumbled. Even if that hardly mattered in that moment.

There was a knock on the dressing room door and Jisung stuck his head inside. “Everything okay?” He looked genuinely concerned.

Seungmin’s eyes widened. Usually, the last thing you wanted in an Alpha’s proximity when they were in pre-rut was another Alpha. Betas were normally fine, and Omegas could usually tell the Alphas what to do and in an effort to appeal to them, they would listen. But Alphas… Usually other Alphas just led to injuries.

And yet, Minho nostrils flared at the scent of his bodyguard. And then… then he let out a pathetic little whine. A desperate call for attention.

It was possible to see the exact moment when Jisung’s instinct took over. “Minho?” he sounded more than alarmed. Without hesitating even just for a second, the bodyguard slipped through the door and carefully pushed it close behind him.

Seungmin’s eyes got even wider. “Don’t,” he began. “Go. Leave.”

Jisung ignored him. “Are you okay?” he gently asked instead, and slowly, very slowly got closer to the other Alpha. Minho could see him shivering when he caught the first real whiff of Minho’s pheromones.

At this point, Seungmin looked outright panicked. “Don’t get too close to him,” he warned. “He’s…”

But he never got to finish his warning because in that moment Minho dashed forward. Seungmin shrieked. He threw his hands up protectively, clearly anticipating that Minho would attack his bodyguard… But Jisung knew what was coming.

He was smiling as he caught Minho in his arms and allowed him to bury his face in the crook of his neck. Had Minho been thinking any clearer, he would have been amazed by the amount of trust that Jisung afforded him. “Hey…” the younger said gently and began carefully caressing Minho’s back. “Are you okay?”

Minho couldn’t help it. He immediately burst into tears. “I’m going to have my rut,” he sobbed pathetically. “I’m not supposed to have it for three weeks.”

Jisung cooed. He hugged him even more tightly. “That’s okay,” he said quietly. “We’ll get you home and then you will be safe, yeah?”

He tried to make eye-contact and Minho gave him a small smile. It was strange, to finally see that face, that had grown so familiar over the last few weeks, up close again. God, he had missed him so much. “Will…” he began quietly, searching Jisung’s features for any hint of how he might be feeling in that moment. “Will you come with me?”

It hurt to see the younger’s face fall at those words. “Oh Baby,” he mumbled, using the pet name he had once joked about calling Minho. It felt as if years had passed since then. “I would… but I can’t be sure that you really want that.” He gently and in what was clearly meant to be an encouraging way patted his back. “You’ll be okay by yourself. I promise.”

Minho shook his head. His tears were spilling over again. “Don’t wanna be alone,” he mumbled. “And I know what I’m saying.”

Jisung sighed. “I…” But Minho interrupted him. “You know what?” He frantically began searching for his phone. His hands were shaking terribly as he selected a contact and opened a chat.

“I have been trying to make things right with you since the uh… Jeongin incident,” he whispered. Jisung’s eyes widened. “I missed you so fucking much. I…” Minho swallowed thickly. “Whenever I come home, I pull on a hoodie that you left behind, and I eat chocolate, and I cry.” He looked to his feet.

He had never been quite this vulnerable with anyone. But he knew that he would hate himself if he didn’t at least try. So… he took a deep breath and… turned the phone towards Jisung so he could see the texts that Minho had sent to Jeongin in the middle of his breakdown. ‘I like Alphas. I like Jisung.’

There it was. It was the truth. “Of course you can say no, if you don’t want to,” Minho whispered. “But I’m not just asking you to come home with me because you’re the only one around. I… I like you.”

Jisung had tears in his eyes when he pulled Minho back into his arms. “Okay,” he breathed. “I’ll… I’ll come home with you.”

***

Seungmin looked well… shocked. And confused. But mostly just shocked.

His head whipped back and forth between the two Alphas as if they were playing in a tennis match and Minho wanted nothing more than to run and hide from his scrutiny. He couldn’t even imagine what his manager had to be thinking in that moment.

Not only had Minho not told anyone that he was in pre-rut and thus gotten himself in what could – because of the unpredictability of someone’s behaviour during their cycle - potentially become an extremely dangerous situation. He had also just shown the exact opposite reaction that he should have when seeing another Alpha during his rut. Which, for Seungmin, probably meant that he was currently realising that he would have to spend the next few years covering up his employer’s sexuality. Wonderful.

Plus, it hadn’t just been any Alpha that Minho had just basically begged to fuck, it was his bodyguard. And, as far as Minho knew, Seungmin had still been under the impression that the model didn’t want to have more security, as well as that he was still making Jisung stay in the car whenever he was home.

And yet, the Beta rolled with the punches. He didn’t show any judgement, didn’t even make an offhanded comment. Instead, he just instructed the two Alphas to stay in the dressing room and explained that he was going to let everyone know that Minho wasn’t going to be able to complete the shoot and that they would have to reschedule. “Afterwards,” he continued, his voice as stable and nonchalant as ever. “We can figure out how to get you two home.”

If the model had been less concerned with getting into Jisung’s pants, he would have probably cried at how much he appreciated his manager. However, as soon as Seungmin had closed the door behind himself, Minho was busy trying to undress Jisung.

The bodyguard just laughed and batted him away. “You’re going to have to have a bit more patience,” he chastised gently. “We’re going to have to get you home first.”

Minho rolled his eyes. “But I’m horny.” His pre-rut had just completely removed his filter apparently.

Luckily Jisung seemed to find it more amusing than anything else. “I can tell,” he teased and nodded to where he had stopped Minho’s hands from removing his hoodie. He leaned in to suggestively whisper: “And when we’re home, you can have at me all you want, okay?” Minho whined again.

Jisung just giggled. “Be patient for a little longer, okay? Can you do that for me?” And of course Minho could do anything if it was to please Jisung.

When Seungmin came back, he waited far longer than he usually did between knocking and opening the door to Minho’s dressing room, despite Jisung’s repeated reassurances that it was fine. “I’m going to drive you two,” the manager announced when he finally stuck his head inside. “Jisung, do you think you can get Minho to the car?”

It turned out that getting Minho to the car was no problem at all as he would have probably happily followed Jisung to the end of the world in his state. However, the drive itself… well…

Jisung had spent the better part of the last quarter of an hour trying to prevent Minho from unbuckling his seatbelt and climbing into his lap. Even Minho could tell that he was starting to get annoyed… But so was he! Why wouldn’t Jisung just let him cuddle? He wasn’t even going to try anything… probably.

Eventually, the younger Alpha sighed defeatedly. “Would you stay put if I allowed you to hold my chest?”

Minho’s eyes widened. He loved Jisung’s chest. “Under the hoodie?”

Jisung huffed. “Fine. But over the tank top.”

Minho immediately settled and held up his hand. This was amazing. Sure, occasionally he would get lightly smacked for trying to sneak underneath the tank top… or pinching Jisung’s nipple but overall, he was pretty happy just cupping Jisung’s peck for the remaining twenty minutes of the drive.

When they arrived in the parking lot underneath Minho’s building and finally got out of the car, Minho couldn’t understand why Jisung didn’t want to immediately run upstairs to his apartment. Sure, Seungmin was still talking but Minho was too distracted to actually listen to what he was saying.

He had attached himself to Jisung’s back and was mad that Jisung had pushed a hand between them to keep him at a distance, effectively preventing him from making any actual contact with his ass. How unfair was that?

***

Later, when they had actually made it to Minho’s floor, Jisung chuckled as the older finally managed to grind against his ass while the younger was trying to open the door to his apartment. “You weren’t kidding when you said you were horny, hm?”

Minho pouted. “It hurts,” he complained. He felt like he was still being pretty reasonable about all of this. He hadn’t yet tried to fuck Jisung in public after all… that should count for something, right? Although most of that was probably Jisung not letting him rather than because of a lack of trying on Minho’s side.

But it did hurt! And it also felt as if ants were crawling underneath his skin. Or maybe it was fire that was burning its way through his veins. Either way, it wasn’t very pleasant. And he knew that it was going to get better if he knotted.

Plus, admittedly, there was also a part of him that was convinced that Jisung would leave or get snatched away if they didn’t get a move on. Some of that was probably an irrational instinct born from a time when rut partners would indeed get ‘snatched away’ if they went unclaimed for too long… but part of it was also just that, deep down, Minho was scared. The way Jisung had left when he had seen Jeongin, it had damaged Minho’s ability to trust him to stay.

Jisung gave him a sympathetic smile. “I know that it hurts, Baby,” he said gently, and Minho positively preened at the pet-name. “We’ll take such good care of you, yeah?” He put his head on Minho’s shoulder so that the other Alpha could nuzzle into his neck and scent him as much as he wanted to. “I’m not going anywhere.”

When the door finally swung open and they stumbled inside, Minho couldn’t get Jisung underneath him quickly enough. He didn’t think he had ever felt as much urgency as he did in that moment. It was primal. It was instinctual. It was fucking overwhelming.

He backed the younger up until his knees hit the edge of the sofa and positively jumped on top of him as soon as Jisung sat down. He frantically scented him, tried as best as he could to mark him as his. He was positively tumbling towards truly being in rut now. It was probably a matter of minutes until his brain would practically shut off and his instincts would fully take over. He was already so, so desperate.

And yet, before Minho could finally truly get his hands on Jisung, the younger stopped him again. “We need to talk,” he said solemnly, and Minho’s jaw dropped to the floor.

What?! There was no way Jisung was serious, right? He wasn’t actually going to try and have a conversation about their relationship while Minho was on the verge of his rut, was he?

Minho’s shock must have been obvious on his features, because Jisung immediately started to giggle. “Not like that,” he reassured quietly and reached up to tug a strand of hair behind Minho’s ear.

The older Alpha instinctually chased the touch, but Jisung didn’t indulge him again. Instead, he put both of his hands against Minho’s chest and firmly pushed him away until he could slip out underneath him and sit down on the coffee table across from him instead. “I meant that we need to talk about well…” He vaguely gestured around them. “All of this… and we have to do it before you truly fall into rut, yeah?”

Minho swallowed. He had a very, very hard time focusing on anything but how unmarked Jisung’s neck looked in that moment. Still, he gave his best to at least nod.

Jisung let a hand run through his own hair. “Right…” he hesitatingly begun. “So, I guess my first question would be whether you have ever been with another Alpha during a cycle?”

It was as if the words were water that Minho was trying to hold in his hands. They just kept slipping away and nothing made him able to retain them. Jisung’s lips simply looked so good. And his scent of chocolate was so strong. And he was so far away and…

Jisung sighed. “Do you think you could focus better if I got in your lap?” He added something about how the proximity could maybe calm Minho’s restlessness a little, but Minho didn’t care. He was already leaning back and nodding enthusiastically.

The younger Alpha expertly straddled his lap. It was almost as if he had never done anything else. However, before he truly sat down, he hovered uncertainly for a moment. Which… didn’t exactly help with Minho’s horniness as his rut-induced brain wasted no time in supplying a vision of Jisung riding him in that exact position.

Jisung must have noticed because he smiled deviously and sat down in the middle of Minho’s thighs… not where he wanted him. However, he did at least allow the older to place his hands on his ass. So, yeah, Minho immediately forgave him and was smiling like the biggest idiot while Jisung calmy continued.

“Okay, so I was saying that ruts with two Alphas can be tricky.” The younger almost sounded as if he was holding a business meeting. “I know that you really want me right now…” He wiggled his butt for emphasis and Minho growled possessively. “But we still have to be careful about your instincts. If I feel like you’re getting too aggressive, I’ll leave. So, try to keep yourself in check.”

The mention of him leaving alone was enough for Minho’s grip to tighten and they both inadvertently moaned at the action. It immediately made Minho want to do it again. But Jisung just continued.

“I’m clean,” he said next, as if he hadn’t just rocked Minho’s world with the most pornographic moan, he had ever heard… that he had let out because his ass had gotten squeezed. “Have you been tested recently?”

Minho nodded. “Just got tested with my last checkup,” he said hastily, absolutely frantic at the prospect that Jisung might let him go raw. “Haven’t slept with anyone since.” The truth was that he hadn’t slept with anyone in years… but Jisung didn’t need to know that.

“I assume that you will want to top?” Jisung calmly asked next. “Just based on how obsessed you currently are with my ass?” He wiggled his brows and devilishly rolled his hips.

Minho groaned and closed his eyes in an attempt to focus. He wasn’t quite sure what Jisung meant. I assume that you will want to top… Should he just say yes? Or would it please Jisung more if he said that he didn’t mind? The picture of Jisung just a minute ago, hovering over Minho’s lap… riding him flashed across his mind. And yeah, no he definitely didn’t mind that at all. “Whatever you prefer,” he mumbled and then blushed before he added: “You can be on top too.”

The reaction wasn’t what he had expected. Like, at all. Instead of a smile, or even just Jisung continuing in his businesslike interrogation, the younger Alpha tilted his head. Confusion flashed across his face, then realisation, then shock. It was enough to have Minho’s heart racing again.

“Hyung?” Jisung’s voice was quiet, gentle… compassionate. “Have you ever been with an Alpha?”

The question had Minho freeze. He suddenly felt caught… ashamed as he slowly shook his head.

The truth was that he was embarrassingly inexperienced when it came to sex. He had had his first experiences with Omegas when he had still been in high school but all of them had been a letdown. It hadn’t taken long for him to figure out that he preferred men over women. But even then, he had never truly enjoyed sleeping with them.

Later on, just before he had been scouted, he had met a kind and hardworking Beta, and they had dated for a while. However, after Minho hadn’t truly enjoyed their first time together, he had started to find excuse after excuse not to have sex with him again. And, in the end, the relationship had gone nowhere.

In the years that had followed, Minho had done a lot of introspection. He had felt ashamed, had been sure that he must be broken in some way… It had taken him years to figure out that he might be interested in trying something with another Alpha... However, by then he had already become a famous model… and he had always been too afraid to ruin his career to truly test that theory of his… at least until Jisung had come along.

“Hey…” the younger Alpha now said gently and scooped up a tear that had quietly made its way down Minho’s cheek. He hadn’t even realised that he had started crying again. “It’s okay. We’ll go slow, yeah?”

Minho nodded pathetically. “Have you ever been with another Alpha?” he asked quietly, unsure whether he even wanted to know the answer.

Jisung ducked his head. “I’m not going to answer that as long as you’re this instinct driven,” he mumbled. “All that you need to care about is that I’m all yours for now, okay?”

Minho growled. He wasn’t all too happy with that answer… but he also knew that he had asked, so he couldn’t really blame Jisung for replying. Still, it just made his quest to finally truly claim the younger even more urgent. He moved his hands up from where they were still sitting on Jisung’s ass and instead slipped them underneath his hoodie and tank top.

Jisung shuddered at the contact. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back. He was submitting so beautifully at such a small gesture already… Minho was absolutely fascinated at the sight. He wanted to keep going, to…

But Jisung had already caught himself. “Not yet,” he gently chastised and pulled Minho’s hands out from underneath his clothes. “There is one more thing that I need to talk with you about.” He took a deep breath. “I’ll submit to you.” He said it as if he was talking about the weather, as if he wasn’t turning Minho’s entire world on its head with his words.

“Usually, I would ask you whether you are okay with that happening…” He sighed. “But I mean… we can both tell how affected I already am. I don’t really think that there’s a chance that I’m strong enough to resist the urge to submit to you… especially when you’re in rut.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry but if you are not okay with that, the only thing I can offer is to leave.”

Minho immediately clutched the younger close again. “I am okay with it,” he reassured immediately. He wasn’t quite sure what Jisung’s submission would entail but he was ready to do anything if it meant that he stayed. 

“Good.” Jisung leaned down and nuzzled into Minho’s neck. “Then the only thing I ask is for you not to hurt me. You can spank my ass a bit, that’s fine. You can fuck me as hard as you can. I’m happy to be thrown around a little, manhandled into any position, pushed down or pulled up… But don’t hurt me. Don’t bite me. Don’t take advantage of my vulnerability, yeah?”

Minho’s eyes widened. “I would never,” he breathed and shook his head. “I… I have never spent my rut with anyone,” he quietly admitted. “So I can’t be completely sure how I am when my instincts take over… But I promise that I could never hurt you.”

Jisung nodded. “I trust you.” He leaned back to smile at him. “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here.”

Chapter Text

Minho groaned. He was leaning against the door of the guest bathroom with nothing but the sound of running water and his own racing heart to keep him company.

Before he and Jisung had been able to do anything else on the sofa, the younger had leaned back and said that the first thing that was different when you were with an Alpha instead of an Omega was that he was going to have to take a shower before they did anything.

Minho’s eyes had immediately glazed over as he had pictured water hitting honey toned skin, Jisung’s slender hands roaming all over his body, him bending over to pick up the soap… He had growled possessively.

But Jisung had shaken his head. “Alone,” he had said decidedly. He had leaned down a little to leave a soft kiss on Minho’s forehead… but then he had jumped up and had practically sprinted to the guest bathroom.

The action had taken Minho by surprise… but not as much as the sudden carnal desire in him to… well, chase. He had rushed after Jisung without a second thought but had arrived at the door just when the lock had clicked shut.

And now his heart was still racing, his blood was still rushing… but he was alone. With Jisung right behind that door, naked, ready to spend Minho’s rut with him… so close… and yet still out of reach.

He closed his eyes and imagined the expanse of defined muscle and unblemished skin under the shower… It still seemed absolutely absurd to him that he would get to touch it soon. He remembered that night that seemed so long ago now, when Jisung had taken off his shirt and explained his tattoos to Minho. He still recalled just how unreal the Alpha had looked back then, how his tattoos had been like an incredibly intricate artwork and how his nipples had sat so delicately right in the middle of all of it.

Another groan escaped past Minho’s lips. This time it was deeper, with more desire mixed into the tone. He leaned his head back against the door and began fumbling with the front of his pants.

He wondered whether Jisung would let him play with his nipples, whether he would be allowed to take them between his fingers and pinch and roll... He imagined how they would slowly harden, how Jisung would turn more and more sensitive with every breath he took. He pictured how he sucked on them, abused them until Jisung was so desperate for more that he began begging…

His hand began working his cock, pumping it to fullness while he listened to the water being turned off and on again on the other side of the door. It was a constant reminder that Jisung was truly in there and that he was really going to spent Minho’s rut with him.

The model let his hand run up and down his cock with more urgency now. He was so hard that it hurt. He needed to cum. He so desperately needed to cum. There was no thinking straight anymore. He was fully in rut now, focussed on nothing but wanting to claim and breed the man behind that damn door.

He was so close… so goddamn close. And yet, he didn’t want to waste a load. He stopped just in time to prevent his orgasm and watched his cock twitch pathetically between his legs instead.

Behind the door, Jisung made a choked sound. “Fuck,” his muffled voice mumbled. “You smell so fucking overwhelming, Hyung.”

The lock clicked and Minho groaned again. He took a step back so that Jisung could finally open the door and… and then Jisung had already slipped out and was sprinting away from him while squealing: “Catch me!”

Minho’s body took off without him even thinking about it. He chased after Jisung through the entire apartment. There was no doubt that the bodyguard was in good shape, but so was Minho… and he had the advantage of being pumped full of rut hormones as well. It felt absolutely exhilarating.

Back when people had still lived in packs out in nature, ruts had always followed the same pattern: Chase, catch, claim, breed. And even though Minho wasn’t chasing Jisung through a forest, adrenaline was still pumping through his body and fuck – he had never experienced anything like it.

Minho finally caught the younger Alpha after cornering him in the kitchen. It had been fascinating to watch how Jisung’s eyes had widened when he had realised that he was trapped. He had shuffled nervously, almost like a scared animal. But Minho didn’t have time to coo at how cute he looked. He immediately tackled him to the ground.

He came to his senses for a split second after they had both hit the ground and for a moment, he was scared that he had been too brutal, that he had already broken his promise to Jisung not to hurt him. But then Jisung suddenly let out the loudest moan Minho had heard from him so far and the older Alpha had been left to watch how his bodyguard pressed his chest into the ground and opened his legs.

Jisung was presenting. He was presenting… for Minho.

The older Alpha growled. He decidedly yanked Jisung’s pants down, expecting to have to work him out of his boxers next… but instead, he was met with the sight of his bare ass. For a short moment, Minho was so taken aback that he forgot how to breathe.

It was obvious that Jisung must have fingered himself in the shower. His hole was red and open and glistening with something that looked suspiciously like lube… The thought that he had done this, only a few steps removed from where Minho had worked his own cock… it was enough to make the older dizzy again.  

“Slut,” he mumbled but he made sure to bend down and press a kiss to Jisung’s back. He wanted to tease, but he didn’t want Jisung to think that he was actually degrading him.

The younger Alpha gasped and arched his back even more. “Just for you,” he breathed. “Just for Alpha.” God, Jisung would be the death of him one day.

Minho’s cock was still thick between his legs. He hadn’t even put it back into his pants before chasing after Jisung. He had been so high on adrenaline and whatever else his rut was pumping into his system that he hadn’t even noticed until now.

He growled again and watched in complete and utter fascination as Jisung’s hole closed around nothing. “So beautiful,” he mumbled, almost entranced by the sight alone.

His words had Jisung moaning again and it wasn’t long until the younger started to squirm impatiently. Minho tutted and smacked his ass… not exactly with force, but with enough deliberateness to sting. “Patience,” he chastised and smiled as Jisung went completely pliant once more.

Minho sat back on his heels and began working his hand over his cock again. It wasn’t time to breed just yet. First, he had to claim.

“Hold yourself open,” he instructed. Jisung whimpered as he obediently complied. He was so fucking perfect that Minho almost wanted to reach out and make sure that he was really truly there, that all of this wasn’t just a dream, or some fucked up fantasy.

As he pumped himself faster and faster, he thought about just how much trust Jisung was lending him in that moment. This was an Alpha who was presenting himself for Minho. His bodyguard. Someone who could probably easily put him out of commission if he wanted to, was instead holding himself open for Minho to claim him… It just felt so fucking unreal.

With that thought in mind, the chase, the orgasm he had denied himself earlier… of course it took absolutely no time until Minho groaned and came all over Jisung’s back and ass.

If he had stopped to think about it, Minho would have had to admit that he had absolutely no idea what he was doing. He was controlled by his instincts and his instincts only, and as such he made sure to waste absolutely no time in diligently rubbing his cum into Jisung’s skin.

Somewhere deep inside of him, there was a carnal desire to spread his scent as much as he could, to make sure that no one was going to see Jisung and think that he didn’t belong to Minho for the foreseeable future. With this, Minho had finally truly claimed Jisung as his partner for this rut and something deep inside of him settled at the realisation that no one was going to take him away now.

All the while, Jisung seemed to be as lost in his desire as Minho was. He didn’t even attempt to stop the older from rubbing his jizz everywhere… instead he spread his legs even further, leaned into the touch wherever he could, constantly let out a string of small gasps and moans…

***

Minho’s cock was still hard when he yanked the hoodie off of Jisung and pulled the younger back to his feet so he could sit him on top of the kitchen island. He was so beautiful with how he was leaning back on his elbows with that beautifully sculpted body on full display. His firm and tattooed chest, his tiny waist, the flushed cock that was heavy against his abs… Minho growled once more. He simply couldn’t help it.

Jisung threw his head back and let Minho push his legs towards his shoulders, effectively folding him in half. He even held onto them when the older told him to… all so that Minho could finally fully access his hole again.

The model had to swallow thickly at the sight. Jisung was just so perfect everywhere. His skin seemed so endlessly smooth, his muscles were flexing in anticipation, and his hole… It was still closing around nothing, still practically begging Minho to finally fuck into it. It was mesmerizing. It was sinful. It was perfect.

As he carefully lined himself up, Minho thought about how endlessly glad he was that Jisung had asked about them being clean. He didn’t think that he could have put on a condom in that moment, even if he had tried. The urge to cum in Jisung, to breed him was simply all consuming.

The first push inside was heaven… so wet, so welcoming, so tight, so incredible.

The second one was Minho’s fall from grace… so hot, so lewd, so sinful, and yet so irresistible.

Minho kept punching little moans out of Jisung. Skin slapped against skin. Both of them turned sticky with sweat, lube and cum. Guttural groans and breathless begging echoed through the kitchen. And Minho kept going and going, setting an absolutely unforgiving pace.

At one point, he had to hold the younger up so that his head wouldn’t hit the granite of the island. And yet Jisung didn’t seem to mind. “Breed me,” he just kept begging, even as tears began to stream down his cheeks. “Please, please breed me.”

It only made Minho even more frantic. “I’ll give you such beautiful pups,” he promised breathlessly and Jisung moaned when he pushed himself even deeper inside. “You will never not be round and full with them.”

Jisung grasped at Minho’s back, clearly desperately trying to get him to be even closer. He was nodding hectically and chanting: “Yes, yes, yes” over and over and over again.

So much was happening all at once. Minho’s knot soon began to swell at the base of his cock. And Jisung positively screamed when he first felt it against his rim. “Yes!” he squealed. “Inside, Alpha. Inside!” He was still trying to pull Minho down to him. “Breed me. Give me your pups!”

Just before he had to come, Minho scooped Jisung up and pulled him into his arms. He wasn’t sure whether he would have normally been able to carry Jisung in this way, but the rut and his determination to give Jisung all that he wanted, all that he needed, all that Minho was able to give him, made him stronger.

When he finally pushed his knot inside, Jisung came with a scream. Minho put him back on the island and collapsed on top of him, shielding his body completely with his own. They were both panting, both positively dripping with sweat and cum… But they smiled at each other. It was in that moment, that their lips met for the very first time.

***

Minho knew that his rut was over as soon as he woke up. His entire body just felt… well… different. He wasn’t restless anymore. He didn’t feel as if he was burning up. He wasn’t all consumed by the desire to breed. He was just… honestly? He was exhausted.

The last days had passed in a blur. After he had first knotted Jisung in the kitchen, Minho had finally been able to think more clearly again. Clearly enough to at least carry Jisung to his bedroom when his knot had gone down enough to do so.

But it hadn’t taken long until his next wave had hit, and he had once again fucked Jisung with more brutality than he probably should have used. Luckily, Jisung hadn’t seemed to mind. He had let Minho throw him around, manhandle him into every position he wanted to and had always just asked for more. 

Minho had fucked him over a desk, the dinner table, on the couch, on the floor, against a mirror… Hell, at one point he had made him kneel on the coffee table so that he could watch his own cum drip out of him… Basically, it had been a lot.

And now, as he looked down at the younger Alpha who was still plastered to his front, he felt nothing but shame and guilt. He hadn’t known what it would be like to spend his rut with another person. And of course, he had known that there was a big possibility that he would lose himself entirely.

Still, he had spent most of his adulthood convincing himself that… since he didn’t feel that pull towards Omegas, that he would be different from all of the others. He had always thought that he wouldn’t go completely knot-dumb, that he would still listen to his partner and treat them with love and respect…

Welp… Turned out that he was just as bad as everyone… only that he threw an Alpha around instead of an Omega. Ugh. He felt disgusting. And not just because of his behaviour. Both him and Jisung were sticky with who knew what bodily fluids. They were still naked and they definitely both desperately needed a shower.

Minho shifted uncomfortably, only to realise that he was still inside of the younger. Fucking wonderful. Had he really made Jisung sit on his dick for three days straight? He let out a small groan and then, slowly, very carefully tried to pull out.

Before he could far however, a hand against his hip stopped him. “Good morning,” Jisung’s sleepy tone couldn’t have been more attractive. “Need to go again?”

He said it so easily, so casually… as if he was asking Minho whether he wanted to go to the gym. It fascinated the older. However, before he could reply, his bodyguard sniffed the air. “Oh,” he said. “Done?”

Minho groaned. “Yeah,” he croaked. “At least I think so.”

He knew that Jisung was smiling without having to see. “Good.” The younger snuggled back against his chest, seemingly not caring that he still had a dick inside of him. “I’m going to sleep again.” He shot Minho a stern look. “And don’t you dare go anywhere.”

Chapter Text

Minho was crying and he didn’t even know why. He was laying on his bed with Jisung, limbs tangled, heads touching and both absolutely exhausted in each other’s arms. And Minho was crying.

It wasn’t the type of cry where your whole body got wrecked with sobs, where snot was clogging your face, and everything began to burn. No. Minho was just lying there, while tears quietly rolled down his cheeks. He didn’t even know whether they were happy tears or sad tears… or maybe neither. Maybe the past few days had just been a lot.

When they had woken up again that morning, his aftercare instincts had taken over. He had cradled Jisung in his arms and had spent all morning giving the younger Alpha baths, massaging him and stuffing him with food. At first Minho had been extremely self-conscious about his behaviour, unsure of how to act since Jisung was not an Omega. He had been worried about coming of as patronizing, hadn’t wanted to seem as if he didn’t respect the younger… But his bodyguard seemed to have enjoyed the extra attention and with time, Minho had gotten more and more comfortable spoiling him.

The model had been absolutely horrified to find just how much damage he had done over the course of his cycle. Jisung was completely covered in bruises that Minho had sucked into his skin and there were even little bite marks all over his body. Not that the model had actually bitten him… he had just… you know… nipped a bit here and there. For a few hours, Minho couldn’t even look at Jisung. He felt incredibly bad about having been so rough with the younger.

However, Jisung had reassured him over and over again that he didn’t mind. It was frankly some of the best sex I’ve ever had,” he had said over lunch before decisively dropping himself onto Minho’s lap. “So please don’t feel sorry for me.” He had assured him that he liked the marks, that yes, Minho had been rough with him… but never too rough, that even in the height of his rut, the model had had a feeling for what Jisung wanted and had given him exactly that. His words had helped to calm Minho a little... Although he had still been feeling extremely overwhelmed with the entire situation.

Jisung had sighed when he had realised just how strung-out the older was and he had probably known that no matter how tired he was, Minho wouldn’t leave him… even if it was just to go to the other room. And so, eventually, it had been Jisung who had suggested that they’d go back to bed.

And now here they laid. And Minho was crying. He was exhausted. He was overwhelmed. But he was endlessly grateful that Jisung was there with him.

In the end, it was still the model who broke their comfortable silence. “What happened at the shoot?” he asked gently. He didn’t have to clarify which shoot he meant. They both knew it. There had only been one occasion on which Jisung had gotten into a fist fight with a photographer and had to be sent home with blood drying on his lips.

Minho felt the younger Alpha tense in his arms. “He called you something nasty,” Jisung mumbled. “I don’t think he realised that I worked for you. He probably thought that it was safe to gossip.” He snorted. “If you even want to call it that.”

The model swallowed. Jisung had been so angry with him that day after what had happened with Jeongin… and yet his bodyguard had still apparently immediately jumped in to protect him from an insult. He shivered. “It was something homophobic, right?”

Jisung just nodded. He seemed to be ashamed of his actions back then. Minho absolutely hated it. He pulled the younger closer to himself. “I was so sure that you didn’t just punch someone in the face unprovoked,” he whispered. “Seungmin wanted to fire you.”

Jisung smiled timidly. “You asked him not to, didn’t you?”

Minho pressed his lips together, but he nodded slowly. “You don’t have to protect me,” he whispered. “I’ve been called worse. I can take it.”

Jisung huffed. “You shouldn’t have to,” he said, reminding Minho of the time that Hyunjin had agreed with him that yes, he shouldn’t need a bodyguard… but that he was not going to watch Minho turned himself into a martyr. The younger Alpha tore him from his thoughts with nothing but a simple smile. “And protecting you is kind of my job.”

Minho let out a small and breathy laugh. “My favourite bodyguard,” he chuckled before pressing a soft kiss to Jisung’s temple.

The kept lying in the bed, all wrapped up in each other and, for a few moments, there was silence again. Once more, it was Minho who broke it. “Are you close to your family?” He had no idea why he had asked that. Maybe it was just that his mother had been on his mind so much since his rut had ended. He just couldn’t stop thinking about what she would make of all of this… how disappointed she would be if she knew how he had ended up in this situation.

“Sorry, that was an invasive question,” he mumbled when Jisung still hadn’t responded after a while. “I don’t know why… I just…”

But Jisung gently interrupted him. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “I… I am just trying to organize my thoughts. It’s… It’s kind of a long story.” He swallowed. Minho pulled him closer. He hated how obvious it was that the topic caused Jisung pain.

“I have a brother that I am pretty close with?” the younger said after a while. “He lives about an hour from here and I try to visit him as much as I can.” He sat up to search for his phone. When he returned to Minho’s arms, he showed him his lockscreen. It was a picture of a little girl, maybe 3 or 4 years old, who had the same heart-shaped smile as Jisung. “That’s my niece,” he explained proudly. “She’s my whole world.”

Minho swallowed. Jisung sounded so happy when he talked about them. It made a pit in Minho’s stomach grow. “Do you like kids?” he asked quietly, almost afraid of the answer he might get.

“I love kids,” the younger Alpha whispered. “I would love to be a dad one day if I got the chance.”

Minho nodded. He hated how tight his throat suddenly felt. “I can’t give you that,” he breathed, as if Jisung wasn’t already fully aware.

The younger turned to his side so that they looked right into each other’s eyes. “You might not be able to get me pregnant,” he said quietly, almost teasingly. “Although it isn’t for a lack of trying…”

Suddenly, Minho was embarrassed about all of the breeding talk he had engaged in during his rut. “Does it hurt you?” he asked breathlessly. “You know when I… when I… say things about uh… pups and stuff?”

Jisung smiled. His gaze was soft… but the sadness in his beautiful, round eyes was impossible to miss. “No,” he whispered. “I mean there might be time when I wish that it could happen. But… well, I know that it won’t. I’ve made my peace with that. There are other ways that kids could find their way into my life.”

For a moment, they just rested their foreheads against one another and breathed in the perfect blend of their scents. Eventually, however, Jisung sighed and rolled back onto his back to stare at the ceiling. “With my parents…” he swallowed. “Well… it’s complicated.”

Minho hummed and gently took Jisung’s hand so he could squeeze it in what he hoped was a comforting way. The younger gave him a grateful smile. “In their eyes I am a complete disappointment,” he continued. “Dyed hair, tattoos, no college degree, hooking up with other Alphas…” He grimaced. “I have tried to please them for a long time. That’s why I went into engineering. But I can’t live my life only with them in mind. I’d never be happy. I had to realise that.”

“You should be proud of yourself,” Minho whispered and gently squeezed Jisung’s hand again. “You’re incredibly brave for putting yourself first.”

Jisung nodded. He didn’t say anything for a while. And when he did speak up again, it was only to ask: “Are you close with your parents?”

Minho had known that the question would come. And yet, he still winced. He rolled onto his back as well. “Never had a dad,” he mumbled. “It was always just me and my mum. She… She did so much for me.” He shook his head and felt his throat close up again. “It was never easy for her to make ends meet, and yet she somehow always managed it.”

Jisung scooted closer to Minho again, carefully placed his head on the older’s chest and allowed the other Alpha to absentmindedly comb through his hair. “That’s beautiful,” he whispered.

Minho nodded. “I want her to be proud of me,” he said. “I want to honour her sacrifice.”

Jisung smiled. “She must be, right? Really proud of you, I mean.” He shook his head. “You… you have already achieved so much at your young age…”

A tear rolled down Minho’s cheek. “I really hope so,” he croaked. “I want nothing more.”

Jisung swallowed so thickly that Minho could feel it. “Have you asked her?” he mumbled hesitantly. “It… It might be worth it to just be that direct. She…”

“She’s dead.” It would never ever get easier to say those words out loud. They would always hurt the same. Still, Minho knew that it was time to share that part of his story with Jisung. “She was sick,” he mumbled. “She has been gone for a few years now.”

“Oh Hyung…” Minho could tell that Jisung was close to tears as well. He wanted to tell him that it was okay. But he just couldn’t get the words out. The younger pulled him into his arms again. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I bet she’s so, so fucking proud of you.”

***

It took a bit of time for everything to settle back into normalcy. On the first day, Jisung and Minho were constantly practically on top of each other, and even as his hormones settled a bit on day two, Minho still found it incredibly distressing to not be around the younger Alpha.

Still, after spending three more days holed up in his penthouse together with Jisung, the model knew that it was time to pick up the phone and call Seungmin.

He had been dreading this phone call for days, sure that he would immediately be bombarded with questions and lectured about the dangers of what he was doing for hours. And yet, when the call connected, the first words out of his manager’s mouth were: “Are you okay?”

Minho swallowed thickly. The real concern in Seungmin’s tone had been unmistakable. “Yeah,” he mumbled. “I’m good.” For a brief moment, he hesitated, but then he admitted: “Honestly? I feel much better than I usually do after my ruts.”

Seungmin hummed. He didn’t press the topic, didn’t ask about Jisung at all… and Minho had probably never been more grateful for his gentle manager who had been with him for so many years already than in that moment.

A schedule was laid out for him and Minho had to approve a few things… business as usual. It was only at the very end of the conversation that Seungmin carefully said: “I have talked to Chan.”

Minho winced. “Right,” he mumbled. He felt guilty for not even considering what this would mean for Jisung and his job. There was no way that they would just let the two of them get away with this, was there?

“I know that this is probably not what you want to hear,” Seungmin said, his tone even more cautious now. “But we think that it would probably be for the best if Jisung wasn’t assigned to you for the next little while.” He hesitated. “Of course he can eventually come back if you and him want that.” There was a pause before he added: “But Chan and I both think that the risk of something happening is too big this shortly after your cycle.”

Minho swallowed. His head was spinning. Seungmin had said so much just then. “So Jisung won’t be fired?” he whispered carefully, eventually. In his eyes, that was the most important take away by far.

Seungmin sighed. “No,” he mumbled. “Chan and I both don’t think that his uh… personal relationship to you will affect his ability to protect you. If anything, it’ll just strengthen the desire to keep you safe. So… no, we don’t see a reason for him to lose his job.”

Minho nodded, despite knowing that Seungmin couldn’t see him. He wasn’t exactly thrilled with the plan to have Jisung be assigned to someone else for the next while… but he also knew that it was for the best. And honestly? In that moment, the relief that Jisung would be able to keep his job far outweighed the anguish over not seeing him for a little bit.

Well… it turned out that Minho had severely underestimated just how much he would miss Jisung. He absolutely hated waking up alone in the apartment and knowing that no one was coming to join him for breakfast. He had taken to only eating cereal for his first meal of the day… if even – entirely unable to motivate himself to cook something just for him.

Jisung’s silent and giant replacement was still creeping him out, and work generally seemed way too quiet without the younger’s stupid puns and antics. Plus, he once more wasn’t looking forward to returning to his apartment after work. Without Jisung it just felt… empty. It still felt like the same place, it just wasn’t home.

What made it worse was that they couldn’t even hang out in the evenings as Jisung always had to work. Sometimes, they would be able to have a short video call, when Jisung was waiting in a car and his client was somewhere safe. But the woman that Jisung had been assigned to protect seemed to be going out much more than Minho did and so it was rare that the bodyguard ever truly got enough time to talk.

Minho missed him. He missed him so, so much.

He tried to distract himself and combat his loneliness by meeting up with his friends more often again. He hung out at Felix’s place, invited Hyunjin over or facetimed Jeongin for hours… But it all couldn’t quite fill the hole that Jisung’s absence had left in his heart.

Still, it was better than being completely alone.

“I can’t wait to see you all in Paris!” Felix squealed on the other end of the line and Minho even smiled a little smile as he pushed his third frozen pizza of the week into the oven… He should really be eating better this close to fashion week.

“Yeah,” he mumbled. It was far too rare that all four of them were in the same place at the same time. He looked forward to being able to truly hang out with all of his friends. Although there was something that made his heart turn heavy whenever he thought about seeing them again…

Jeongin was still the only one who Minho had mentioned his feelings for Jisung to… and even he didn’t know about the rut yet. Minho wasn’t even sure why, but for some reason he was still extremely hesitant to tell his friends – despite deep down knowing that they would be fine with it.

He should have just gotten on with telling them… especially since there had been plenty of opportunities to bring it up lately. Felix had recently gotten himself an Alpha and he wouldn’t shut up about him. Minho hadn’t met him yet. But he sounded nice enough.

As if he had read his mind, Felix used that exact moment to say: “I might bring Changbin.” He was smiling when he talked about his boyfriend. It was good to see. “I really want all of you to meet him,” he said happily. “And he goes to the same gym as Minhyuk and Chan. They’ll both be traveling to Paris as well.”

Minho winced at the mention of Chan. He had no idea for how long he and Seungmin were going to keep him and Jisung apart and he was too afraid to ask in case he didn’t like the answer. “Yeah,” he just mumbled again. “Why not?”

The truth was that he was a little envious of his friend. Deep down, he wished that he could simply bring Jisung along as well. Maybe even as his official boyfriend. But for them, it would probably never be that easy.

***

Minho’s flight to Paris was scheduled only a few days later.

It was cold when Minho got to the airport. No. It was fucking freezing. He had no idea what the media outlets got from taking photos of him in a giant-ass coat with a hat pulled into his face and wearing a massive scarf that he basically disappeared behind. But if they wanted to run all over each other in an attempt to capture him like that… sure?

However, the model didn’t give them any time for questions… not in these temperatures. He just scurried inside the terminal as quickly as he could and sighed with relief as warm air finally engulfed him again.

It didn’t take long before a young member of staff approached him with a practiced customer service smile. “Good afternoon, Sir” she said and bowed. “May I show you the way to the lounge?” It was ridiculous at this point. With how much Minho flew from this airport, he could have probably found that lounge with his eyes closed. Still, he nodded politely.

Usually, the lounge was empty when he arrived. Normally, only he, Seungmin and whatever members of their team they took on the trip would be hanging out in there until their plane departed. It was honestly Minho’s favourite part of any flight… the peace and quiet with a stable internet connection and actual good food…

However, that day, someone was already waiting for them. There, perched on top of a leather sofa like the king of the world himself, sat none other than… “Jisung?!”

Minho couldn’t fucking believe it. He knew that his mouth stood open and that his eyes were wide… but he couldn’t help himself. He absolutely hadn’t expected this. And hell, Seungmin should be glad that he at least had the willpower to hold himself back from just running straight into his bodyguard’s arms.

“Are you kidding me?” he said, turning around to his manager with what he knew to be a look of nothing but pure and utter disbelief on his face.

Seungmin was grinning. “Good surprise?”

Minho just nodded dumbly. Meanwhile, Jisung had made his way across the room to them.  He was blushing. But he was also beaming from ear to ear. And he was wrapped in his favourite hoodie. And he smelled like chocolate… And… “What are you doing here?”

Jisung smiled at Minho’s amazed tone. It was obvious that he also had to hold back from just wrapping the model into his arms. “As far as I know,” he said quietly. “I’m going to Paris.”

If it had been up to Minho, the flight wouldn’t have had to ever end. He was sitting next to Jisung, finally, after all these weeks. And while he couldn’t exactly do what he wanted to do… which in that moment was mostly to climb into the younger’s lap and kiss him until he was gasping for air… At least he was finally by his side again.

And they did manage to sync up their screens to watch a movie together while inconspicuously holding hands underneath a blanket. When Minho got tired, Jisung ‘accidentally’ swapped their blankets so that they could each cuddle up with the other’s scent… And Minho – who was usually terrible at sleeping on the plane - finally, finally truly felt at peace again as he curled up next to his bodyguard.

As soon as they touched down in Charles-de-Gaulle, Seungmin came up to them and told them that Felix had invited all of them to hang out in the apartment he had rented for the week. And, apparently, it would make much more sense not to go to the hotel before that since it was on the other side of the city.

Minho sighed and glanced at Jisung. Not going to the hotel first would mean that they would have to wait hours before they would finally be alone together again. And yet, he simply couldn’t cancel on Felix. Jisung gave him an encouraging smile and he let his shoulders slump. “Fine.”

Chapter Text

It wasn’t Felix who opened the door when they arrived. It was Jeongin. Minho’s heart immediately sank. He had been so caught up in finally seeing Jisung again that he had not thought this through at all. “Oh”, he said awkwardly. “Hi, Innie… Jisung this is uh… Jeongin… and…”

But Jisung seemed to have already recognized the Alpha. At least if the possessive arm he had curled around Minho’s waist at the sight of him was any indication. And, despite Jeongin literally being the only person that Minho had fully willingly shared his feelings for Jisung with – because him being horny enough for his bodyguard while he was in pre-rut not to care that his manager was in the same room definitely did not count – Jisung was being far too obvious for Minho’s taste.

“Right.” Oh shit. Minho had completely forgotten that Seungmin was also still standing behind them. “While you do your introductions, I am going to get myself a drink.” The Beta smiled as he gave Jeongin a friendly hug and then disappeared into the apartment.

Minho hated this. The arm around his waist seemed to positively burn where it touched him. He felt so exposed. So vulnerable.

“Hi!” Jeongin sounded far too cheerful in Minho’s opinion. Especially considering how awkward his and Jisung’s last meeting had been. “I’m so sorry for the circumstances under which we met last time,” he said, smiling as bright as the sun itself. “I’m so happy to see that you two have reconciled.”  He nodded to where Jisung was still holding the model with a smirk.

Minho inadvertently jerked at the mention, while Jisung simply smiled back at the younger. “I am truly sorry as well,” he said and stretched out the hand that wasn’t currently wrapped around Minho for Jeongin to shake. “I was just very uh… surprised last time.” He looked at Minho with a raised brow, almost as if this was amusing to him. Then, he turned back to Jeongin and assured that: “It was nothing personal at all.”

Minho blushed and looked to his feet. His reaction had both of the other Alphas chuckle. Jeongin shrugged. “I suppose that it could be seen as a good thing that he didn’t even consider that it might be a bit weird to suddenly meet a stranger… in the middle of his living room.” They both laughed again.

Meanwhile Minho wanted to cry. Of course he was happy that they apparently got along but… to him, this was all still… frankly? It was terrifying. Knowing that this time, when Jeongin assumed that he and Jisung were well, involved with each other… that this time, he’d be right… it… it made Minho want to just break out into tears.

Fortunately, he was rescued by Felix before he could truly start to spiral. “Hyung!” The Omega popped up out of what seemed like thin air. “I am so happy that you made it!” He hugged him tightly, either not noticing or completely ignoring that he was crushing Jisung’s arm in the process. “I can’t wait for you to meet Binnie!” He was beaming from ear to ear. And as he turned to the apartment and shouted for “Bae!!!” Minho thought about how he had never seen him glow like this before. It was good to see their sunshine so happy.

However, Felix soon tore him from his thoughts and made him crash back into his messy reality by asking: “So you must be Jisung?” He was still smiling. “Sorry, I think I completely crushed your arm.”

In response, Jisung finally let it fall from Minho’s waist. However, only to dramatically pretend as if it was broken. “I’ll sue you,” he huffed in pretend resentment. “I will never be the same!”

It was such a stupid bit, and yet Felix still giggled happily at it. Enough for a short but extremely built Alpha to raise a brow at while he wrapped his arms around the Australian. “Laughing at other Alpha’s jokes now, are we?” So that had to be Changbin.

Felix just laughed even harder. “Don’t be stupid, Bae,” he chastised and slapped the Alpha’s – admittedly impressive – chest. “They’ll think you’re actually that insecure!” He shook his head. “And Jisung is with Minho anyways, so I don’t think you have anything to be worried about.”

Minho wanted to simply just vanish. He didn’t care how or where or when or even if he would reappear… just as long as it got him out of this situation. He still hadn’t told Felix about well… all of this yet. So, either someone else had told him, or they were just so obvious that it was easy to assume. And Minho didn’t like either option.

He hadn’t planned on announcing his sexuality that night. He… he didn’t feel ready for that yet. Hell, he hadn’t even had time to truly figure out what his sexuality even was. And well, of course he trusted his friends… but he didn’t know Changbin… and… and… And what if something did come out after all? What if this got leaked to the press?

He didn’t even realise that Felix’s boyfriend was offering him a hand until Jisung gently bumped into his side to get his attention. “I’m Changbin,” he Alpha politely introduced himself. “The boyfriend.” He winked at Felix who blushed before lightly slapping his chest again. “And you’re the Minho-Hyung that this guy can’t shut up about?”

“Oh uh… yeah,” he mumbled, knowing that he was probably blushing bright red. “I’m uh… Minho. And this…” He turned to his bodyguard who was smiling encouragingly at him. “This is uh…” What was he supposed to say?! What did he want to say? If he was entirely honest, he would have still preferred to introduce Jisung as his bodyguard… and yet, deep down he knew that that would just make everything even more awkward. “He’s uh… Jisung.” He looked to his hands. “Yeah, Jisung.”

Next to him, the younger Alpha huffed out a light laugh. “Exactly,” he said and also extended a hand to Changbin. “I’m Yeah Jisung, nice to meet you.” He lightly pushed Minho’s side, and the model somehow managed to force a smile. He still felt absolutely terrified.

***

“Hyung?” Jisung must have finally picked up on Minho’s anxiety. He excused the two of them and led Minho into the kitchen under the guise of getting drinks. “Everything okay?” he asked as soon as the door fell shut behind them.

Minho was almost unable to hold back his tears. Almost. Relief flooded his system, and he fell straight into Jisung’s familiar arms. It was the first time that day, the first time since the rut, that they were finally, truly alone. “I’m just nervous,” he whispered. “And exhausted. And this is all so new to me.”

Jisung hummed sympathetically and pressed a kiss to Minho’s head. “I’m here,” he mumbled in that steady, reassuring tone that always had shivers run down Minho’s spine. “I’ll be right by your side whenever you need me, yeah?”

Minho nodded. He couldn’t bring himself to ask Jisung not to act as lovingly when they were around the others, not when he knew that the younger was just trying to do his best around who he knew to be Minho’s closest friends.

“Oh my God!”

The sudden shout had them immediately jump apart. Minho went right into fight or flight mode… or rather – he froze where he stood, with his heart racing and his stomach trying to evict itself from his body. Meanwhile, Jisung just let out a surprised laugh. “Hi!” he said cheerfully. “You must be Hyunjin?”

The Beta, who had never been able to maintain a poker face to save his life, looked absolutely incredulous. “I am,” he said breathlessly. “And you are?”

“I’m Jisung. The bo…” Minho’s heart dropped just as Hyunjin’s jaw did, only for Jisung to smirk and say: “Bodyguard.”

Someone giggled at that, but it wasn’t Hyunjin. And Minho’s heart came to a sudden halt again when a brightly smiling Felix walked into the kitchen. “Chan and Minhyuk just arrived and we’re going to play beer pong in the living room,” he announced happily. “Do you want to join?”

In the end, Minho told Jisung to go ahead. “I just need a moment,” he quietly told him when the younger Alpha looked more than sceptical. “I’m just tired. I’ll… I’ll be right there in a minute.” He forced a smile. “Go have fun.”

He collapsed onto the floor as soon as the three of them had closed the door behind themselves. He was so weak. So pathetic. Unworthy of such loving friends and especially unworthy of Jisung. How anyone could want to be with someone like him would probably forever remain a mystery to him. He was so broken. So damaged. So afraid. He hid his face in his hands, but he couldn’t even cry. He didn’t feel like he deserved it.

Minho was so caught up in his pain that he didn’t even notice that someone had walked into the kitchen at first. Not until the person crouched down next to him and gently put a hand on his shoulder. “Hey…”

The model winced, even at the gentle tone. He didn’t know this voice. And yet, when he looked up, he somehow immediately knew that the man in front of him just had to be the elusive Chan. “Is there anything I can do?”

Minho could honestly understand why Jisung had dated this guy. He looked good. He had dimples. But what stood out the most was just how understanding he seemed. If comfort was a person, this guy would probably be it.

Still, Minho shook his head. “I’m just tired,” he lied quietly.

Chan nodded. “You flew in from Korea today, right?” he asked. “It must have really been a long day for you then.” He squeezed at Minho’s shoulder. “I’m sure the others would understand if you said that you want to go to bed.”

His words just caused Minho to choke on a sob he was trying to suppress. “I looked forward to today,” he whispered brokenly. “And I slept on the flight. I just… I don’t know…”

Chan sighed and pulled Minho into a brotherly hug. “This is probably all just a lot for you, isn’t it?” he asked gently, and Minho found himself nodding.

He even quietly admitted: “I didn’t expect that I would have to come out to everyone today.” He didn’t know what had compelled him to share that. Whether it was simply the pure and utter kindness that Chan seemed to emit. Or whether it was the fact that Minho knew that he already knew about the rut. Or whether it was maybe even the knowledge that, at some point, Chan must have gone through this too if he was mated to another Alpha.

Jisung’s boss sighed again. He let himself drop onto the ground and sat down next to Minho, with his back against the kitchen cabinets. “Is Jisung your first Alpha?”

Minho nodded. He wanted to cry. But he felt too numb to even just do that.

Chan hummed understandingly. “So, a lot has changed for you recently, aye?” He let out a deep breath. “Look, I know that well, this…” he vaguely gestured around them “…is incredibly hard to come to terms with. I really do.” He huffed. “It took me years to get there myself.” He swallowed and then shook his head. “But I promise you that Jisung is worth it.” He smiled. “From what I can tell, you both are.” He put a hand on Minho’s arm. “Trust him,” he said. “And talk to him. Tell him about your fears. Be open. He’s one of the best people I know but he needs you to talk to him.”

Minho nodded once more. He let himself be pulled back to his feet and even followed Chan into the living room where the others had started another drinking game. Still, for the rest of the night, he avoided Jisung and fled whenever the younger Alpha got too close for comfort. He would talk to him later. In that moment, he just couldn’t.

***

The drive back to their hotel was incredibly awkward. Minho sat in the middle seat in the back of a car, Seungmin and Jisung on either side of him. None of them said a single word. At one point, the model made a weak attempt at sneaking his hand onto Jisung’s thigh but the younger immediately pushed it off. Minho didn’t try again after that. He knew that this wasn’t going to just be okay again. He knew that he was going to have to have a hard talk with his bodyguard sooner rather than later.

When they arrived, Seungmin told them to go up without him, that he would have to sort out some stuff at the front desk before he could head to bed… and yet, instead of falling into each other’s arms the second they were alone like Minho had envisioned it for so many weeks… they just walked next to each other in silence. They didn’t talk on the elevator ride up. They opened their shared hotel room without saying a single word.

With every minute that passed it got harder and harder for Minho not to panic.

It was only when the door fell shut behind them that Jisung turned around and confronted the older. “What is your problem?” he hissed. “Am I not good enough for you? Are you embarrassed that you fucked your bodyguard? Is that it?”

Minho winced. “That’s bullshit,” he whispered back. “It’s not true and you know it.”

“You’re ashamed of me!” Jisung wouldn’t let up. “Don’t you think I can tell that you are?” He shook his head and Minho hated that he could see tears glistening in his eyes. “Do you know how much that hurts?”

“I am not ashamed of you. I just…” Minho absolutely despised how weak he sounded, how unconvincing, how pathetic.

Jisung didn’t even let him finish. “Don’t fucking lie to me!”

Minho’s shoulders slumped. He was defeated. There was nothing else to say… nothing but the truth. “You were right,” he mumbled.

“What?” Jisung tilted his head. He seemed genuinely confused.

“Do you remember when you were angry at me in the dressing room?” Minho quietly asked. “After you had gotten into a fight with the photographer?” He swallowed. “You were right back then. I…” He shook his head. “I am scared.” He huffed. “Hell, I’m fucking terrified.”

Jisung looked positively shocked with the honesty he was getting. His mouth stood open as if he still wanted to argue but couldn’t find the words. Meanwhile, Minho averted his eyes. He simply needed to keep going. Jeongin and Chan and all of them were right. He owed at least that to Jisung. And hell, he also owed it to himself.

“I just…” he began shakily. God, he wished that he had had time to prepare something, to at least sit down and organize his thoughts a bit. But he also knew that it was now or never. “I have such a hard time shaking everything that I’ve been told all my life,” he whispered. “I… I told you about my… about my mum…”

He winced as the familiar, sharp pain of grief shot through his body. “What I… What I didn’t tell you was how…” He fought his tears but then figured that it was useless anyways. “What I didn’t tell you was just how poor we were. It… It was always just me and her trying to make ends meet.”

He couldn’t stop a sob from escaping past his lips. “From the first moment that I can remember, my mother always told me that the most important thing was to keep your head down, work hard and be grateful for what you have. And… and…” Minho shivered. “And being grateful in her eyes meant to make the most of every opportunity, not to be reckless in your behaviour or your decision making… to always be the best version of yourself…” He shook his head.

It had taken him years to come to the conclusion that he was about to present to Jisung. And hell, he hadn’t thought that he would ever repeat it out loud to anyone. “The… the best version of yourself, for her…” He swallowed thickly. “It had never had anything to do with health or happiness or even with kindness or anything like that. In her eyes, the best version of yourself was always the version that society would love the most, that was the most agreeable, that would get you the furthest.”

Minho grimaced. “I did once dye my hair before, you know?” His shoulder slumped. “Back in high school. When I came home, my mother she… she started crying. She told me about how this would lead my teachers to think of me as a delinquent, how it would impact my marks… my life… I… Her logic made so much sense to me back then. I… I thought she was right. I dyed my hair back to black.”

He looked up at Jisung and was surprised to find that the younger by now also had tears streaming down his cheeks. “I’ve followed that philosophy all my life. And even after her death… and as I slowly got to see more of the world, was exposed to more opinions…” He swallowed. “And never had a reason to deviate from the path that she had laid out for me.” Minho smiled weakly. “You were a wrench in my system…”

Jisung shook his head. “Minho, I…”

But Minho didn’t let him speak. Not yet. “I love my mother with all my heart,” he said, and he meant every word. “I always, always will. She… She has done so much for me, and I truly think that she tried her absolute best.” He bit his lip. He knew that what he was about to say would hurt. “But she did damage with that, I think.” He swallowed again. “In her mind, the best version of me… or any Alpha for that matter, did not like other Alphas.”

He tried to take a steadying breath. It didn’t work. “She never truly had any compassion for the fact that liking Alphas had never been something I could have ever been able to change about myself.” Minho shuddered. “And repressing it, just not acting on it as to not ‘be reckless’ with my decisions… It didn’t fix anything. It just led me to think that I was a failure. I… I hate myself so much sometimes. Scratch that, all of the time.”

He sobbed. “I have so much baggage that I have dragged with me all the way into adulthood… It made me turn into a person I never wanted to become. I am not emotional or romantic. I work all the fucking time. I blow up in people’s faces when I am actually mad at and unhappy with myself. I do so much wrong.”

He looked up. “I’m terrified of not being able to be a good partner or not being able to make my family happy.” He had never been this honest in his life. Not with anyone, not even with himself. “I had a talk with Chan earlier tonight. In the kitchen at Felix’s place.” He choked. “He told me that you were worth the pain…” He shook his head. “As if I had ever doubted that. The… the truth is… you’re… you’re way too good for me.”

Jisung stumbled towards him on what were clearly weak legs. “I don’t give a shit,” he mumbled and fell right into Minho’s arms. “About any of that. And I…” He huffed. “I can’t believe that you think that I am too good for you.” He pressed his face into the crook of Minho’s neck, seemingly trying to steady himself with his scent, maybe trying to gather the bravery to say what he wanted Minho to know. The older didn’t push him. He let him take all of the time he needed.

“I dropped out of college,” Jisung whispered eventually. “I have no contact to any of my family except for my brother. I have so much baggage as well…” He shook his head. “And even still, I can’t imagine how hard you must have had it. I…” He closed his arms around the still sobbing model. “The only thing I know for sure is that I love being with you.”

Minho almost howled at those words and yet Jisung just kept going. “And I know that you like being with me too.” He pressed a kiss to the older’s temple. “Let’s figure this out together, hm?”

He tightened his arms around Minho. “I think I understand better now why family is such an important topic for you,” he said softly. “But we can talk about that down the line. There is no rush and we both have a lot of healing to do before we can even responsibly consider any of that.”

He took Minho’s chin and gently pulled it up until they were looking right into each other’s eyes. “You still have a lot of grieving to do as well.” Minho had never seen as much sadness and heartbreak on anyone as he saw in Jisung’s smile in that moment. “But I want to be by your side and for now, let that be all that matters, yeah?” the younger asked gently.

“It’s okay if you struggle. It’s okay if it’s too hard sometimes. I just ask you not to push me away.” He leaned closer until their foreheads were pressed together. “Don’t give up on us before we have even started. At least give us a chance.”

Minho didn’t reply. He didn’t think that he could have in that moment. But it also didn’t matter. If he had realised one thing over the rollercoaster that had been the last weeks and months, it was that his home once again had a heartbeat. After it had been his mother for so many years, Minho had now finally found a new home with strong arms, a gentle scent of chocolate and that damned heart-shaped smile.  And yes, maybe that was enough for now.

He tilted his head a little more. And then he simply kissed Jisung, with all of the love that he could ever offer.