Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Azriel couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t take his brothers finding their mates and falling in love while the woman he loved wanted nothing to do with him and there was no mating bond in sight. How many years had it been? How many days of watching and worrying over and protecting her had he wasted all for nothing? How many times did she have to reject him? Turning from him to Cassian, to Helion--motherfucking Helion of all people. And it wasn’t like he hadn’t considered it. Accepting Helion’s offer to join him in bed when Mor had already accepted. But as much as he wanted that, he couldn’t stand the thought of seeing her with Helion. Being with Helion himself was another thing entirely.

He had to get out. Out of his brothers’ spheres of happiness. Out of the House of Wind. Maybe out of the Night Court entirely.

So he flew. Savoring the wind under his wings, rustling through his hair. In the air he felt free. From everything. Feelings, memories, the past, present and future. It was his salvation. It had always been, ever since he learned how. Ever since he had taught himself how.

He was at the Court of Nightmares before he knew it. This was always where he went. The others hated it so they were never there. No one was ever there. And he had always appreciated the moonstone balcony above the Court. There it was quiet. There no one would bother him.

He landed without a sound, his shadows gathering to muffle out any and all noise, he didn’t want those who dwelled beneath him to be alerted of his presence. He didn’t think anyone was there, he didn’t feel anyone there. So he let his mind relax, let the focus that drained his energy fall away. He walked to the edge of the balcony, leaning against the rail, gazing at the sight he never got tired of. That held no horrible memories of his past. That held no horrible memories of Mor’s rejections. That held only his feelings for this land. This sacred land that he would never stop protecting no matter how old or how injured he became. Closing his eyes he let himself focus on the cool air around him.

Normally Azriel would have felt someone winnowing before they snapped into existence. Normally. When his focus was sharp and his mind occupied only by what was going on around him, on protecting those around him. But this time it wasn’t normal. And the only thing that alerted him to it was a male slamming into him.

His instincts took over, his hand snapped around the male's neck, his warm skin making his burns ach even through his glove. He shoved him up against a moonstone pillar and was satisfied to hear the crack that was the male’s head hitting stone.

“Why are you here.” He growled, staring down into Eris’ eyes, his forearm pressing into his throat. He could feel his blood pounding, his adam’s apple bobbing, feel every move Eris made.

“Just visiting,” a grin was painted on his face but there was panic in his eyes, giving him away.

“Why.”

“Would you believe me if I said I liked it here?”

“No.” He didn’t bother to hide the threat in his voice.

“I need to talk to Kier,” Eris shoved him off of him but didn’t try to walk away. He knew that he had no chance against Azriel and he preferred to keep his head.

“About what.” Azriel’s gaze followed Eris’ every move.

“My father, what’s it to you?”

“You are an enemy to my Court.”

Eris lunged towards him, getting right up in his face. “My Court fought with you—I fought with you. Hell, I did a lot more than fight for you.” He spat.

Azriel’s hand shot to his throat once more, his fingers wrapping around his neck. He growled under his breath, “We agreed never to speak of that again.”

“I forgot how much you liked to have your hands around my neck Azzy.” Azriel tightened his hand, drawing a quiet moan from Eris’ lips.

Azriel stared at him, that sound taking him back. Back to the image of the high lord’s son beneath him, to his hand around that pretty bronze neck, to the sounds that spilled from his lips, begging and teasing and longing. For a moment that was all he could think of. All he could imagine doing. And he had to hold himself back, calling on ever once of control he had to keep from ripping Eris’ clothes off and fucking him right there.

Eris chuckled, leaning closer so his nose pressed to Azriel’s cheek. “You’re not very good at hiding those thoughts of yours.” Azriel could feel his breath on his lips, the warmth of his body radiating off of him like a fire. “Right now…” Gazing down at his lips, Eris grinned, hesitating less than an inch away from his lips tempting him into kissing him. “You’re thinking of what it would feel like to have this inside of me.” His hand cupped the bulge in Azriel’s flying leathers, pressing against his impressive cock. Eris chuckled at the faint blush kissing Azriel’s cheeks. “I forgot how big you were.”

Azriel shoved him away, stepping out of his reach before Eris could reach for him and feel how truly hard he was from just a thought of him. He shouldn't be having this reaction, he shouldn't feel this for a male. For Eris of all fucking people. For Mor or for Elaine or any random female at Rita’s but Eris? Eris?? How could he ever feel anything--even simple lust--for Eris? For a male? “Fuck off, cunt.”

“Ooo,” Eris exaggerated a shiver. “So foul mouthed today. Come on Azzy, call me a cunt again, maybe I’ll cum.”

Azriel lunged forward once again, his hand returning to its place around his neck. That place that simultaneously felt like torture and home to Az. Where he longed to be yet where he hated himself for being. “Will you just fuck off.” He was so close to him. Too close. Yet he kept returning to that place. Kept stepping into Eris’ space not because he wanted to torment him or threaten him like he so often did but because he couldn’t bring himself to move away from him. Because if he moved away from Eris, if he stepped away and stopped pinning him to the stone he would leave. He was scared that he would leave. And he hated himself for it. But he hated even more that he wanted him to stay. He wanted to stand there and tease him, play with him, touch him. His heart ached for it. His heart that hadn’t moved, hadn’t felt anything for anyone besides Mor for centuries. His heart that he had begged to move for Elaine, for Gywn now moved for Eris.

What was wrong with him. What the hell was wrong with him.

“Will you just fuck me.”

Azriel froze, staring into his eyes. Had he really just asked that?

“You heard me,” Eris breathed, the shift in his tone remarkably distinct. From teasing and mocking and poking fun to so very close to begging. “I’m hard. You made me hard. You are so obviously hard.” Eris’ hands drifted to Azriel’s sides; drifted over the seams of his leathers, the laces holding them together. “Finish the job.”

This was no longer Eris. This was the future High Lord of the Autumn Court. And Azriel had never been one to disobey an order from his High Lord.

Azriel didn’t move his hand from Eris’ throat as he leaned in to kiss him. Eris breathed deeply into his mouth, pulling himself closer to him, shifting his hips to press against Azriel’s.

“You really are hard,” Az breathed. Eris moaned very softly in response, his body rocking into Azriel as he moved his hand between his thighs.

“Shut up.” Eris muttered. He didn’t want to hear him. He didn't want to be reminded of who was fucking him. He just needed to feel good. That was all. It didn’t matter that it was Azriel. Just that it was someone. Someone whose tongue was tracing his lips. Someone whose hand was pushing apart his thighs, caressing higher and higher; whose fingers tangled in his hair; whose body slammed his into the stone pillar behind him. He had always liked it rough. Whether it was with a female or male. Whether he was topping or bottoming. And Azriel was rough. Amazingly, wonderfully rough.

He moaned softly, gasping for breath against Azriel’s mouth and he felt Az’s cock harden against him, pushing against his hip, drawing his attention until he could focus on nothing else. He wanted that thing inside of him. Needed it. Desperately. But there wasn’t time. He was lucky enough that he had decided to arrive at the Night Court early. But he needed the release. He couldn’t just walk into the Court of Nightmares with his cock still aching and hard in his pants.

“Quickly,” he moaned, his hands scrambling to undo the ties that held his pants together. Azriel copied his movements and suddenly he had their cocks in his large hand, pumping them, grinding them together. Azriel groaned deep in his throat, it was an animal sound, dark and threatening. Eris could feel it rumbling through his chest; it made longing wash over him, hot and heavy and all consuming. He panted, his mouth against Azriel’s jaw. “Fuck,” he gasped, his hands scrambling to find something of Azriel’s to hold onto. He found his hair and pulled it back, forcing Azriel to expose his neck. His strong tattooed neck that his mouth longed for when he lay alone in his bed in the dark. That drove him to slip a hand down his pants and fuck himself thoughtless.

He kissed him, sucking at his tattoos, not caring one bit about leaving a mark behind. The feel of it forced a moan from Azriel’s lips, a moan that was entirely unlike his voice. Eris laughed, that cruel mocking laugh that he had perfected in his Court. “That was a bottom’s moan, Azzy.” Azriel growled, tightening his hand on their cocks. The pressure of it drawing a similarly high moan from Eris’ lips.

“Then what was that you little slut?” A blush deepened on Eris’ nose and cheeks, making Azriel grin smugly, pumping their cocks faster and harder until he had Eris bracing against him and moaning with every breath.

“Fuck…you,” Eris gasped, hands clawing at his back, dragging his nails up his spine, right between his wings. At that moment he was tempted to touch his wings. To trail his fingers across the delicate muscle and find all those sensitive parts that would make Azriel cum in seconds. But he didn’t want this to end. It felt too good. Azriel’s hand was too good, his mouth on his neck making his legs too weak. He was close and he could feel it, pulsing, building, threatening to spill all over Azriel’s hand. He tilted his head back, letting the moonstone pillar support him so he wouldn’t lean forward onto Azriel.

“Gods,” Azriel growled, bowing his head. He couldn’t look at Eris. He couldn’t look at him because he was supposed to hate him. Looking at him was supposed to make him soft, not make his heart pound in his cock. But fuck he was close. Just a little more and he could fly back to Velaris and never have to deal with Eris again. Just a little more and--

“Fuck!” Eris shouted, his orgasm washing over him, making flames flicker in his bones. Azriel followed him over that cliff only a few seconds later, his shadows dousing Eris’ flame. Their cum mixed together on Azriel’s chest, soaking his leathers.

Azriel shoved away from Eris as soon as it was over, no even saying a word to him before plunging over the edge on the balcony and into the sky. Eris watched him leave as he straightened out his clothes.

“Nice to see you too, jackass,” Eris muttered under his breath, stalking off towards the Court of Nightmares.

Chapter Text

What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me?! Azriel thought, Velaris no more than a speck of light thousands of feet beneath him. How could I have gone to Eris? AGAIN!

Tucking in his wings Azriel plunged into a dive and let the roar of the wind clear his mind. He needed to see Elaine. Or Gywn. Or any random female he could fuck just to remind himself that Eris was not what he wanted--that he was just a means to an end.

He landed at the House of Wind without a sound. He would go to the library, try to find Gywn. And if he couldn’t, find a book on battle techniques to lose himself in. But as he stalked down the halls Cassian and Nesta stepped out from one of the many hidden corridors one could hide in and never be found. Cassian greeted him with his booming, joyful voice that made Azriel flinch inside. Around them hung in the air the sickeningly thick scent of sex. Azriel snarled softly, shaking his head just a little to get that scent out of his nose. But then his mind went to Eris and did he carry that same scent? Did he carry Eris’ scent? The scent of his lips on his neck? Of his hands on his back? Of his cum on his chest? So he let his shadows snake around him and hide whatever scent clung to his body before muttering a greeting back at them and slipping off into another one of those corridors. He would have to bathe before he went anywhere else and risked being found out. It was dangerous not to. What would Cassian think of him? Or Rhys? Or any random person on the streets who scented another male on him? There was something wrong with him and he knew it. There was something terribly, terribly wrong. Males couldn’t procreate with each other and wasn’t that the whole point of love? To drive a male to fuck a female and carry on the race? There was no other reason for it, there was no other use. For him to feel anything at all for Eris was just fucking wrong. And Eris of all people? The spy, the male whose father had fought against them?

So fucking wrong.

Azriel.

Rhys’ voice in his mind. In a heartbeat, Azriel refortified the walls around his mind. If Rhys got in…and heard--and saw--what he had done with Eris not once but twice…

What.

Be at my place in five.

Fuck, Azriel thought. He wouldn’t have time for a shower.

Rhys and Cassian were waiting for him in the meeting room when he winnowed in. His heart lurched when he saw them; he never got there before Cassian. This would be it. Cassian must have smelled Eris on him after all and went to Rhys. Here they would find out what was wrong with him. They would tell him he was disgusting and to get out so they would never have to see him again. His jaw clenched, his shadows whispering in his ear all the things he knew to be true.

“What is this?” It would be better to get it over with.

“Az,” Rhys leaned forward in his seat, resting his head on his hands. Azriel braced himself, holding himself up ramrod straight, his wings held just as straight, the tips just barely trailing the ground. “We need you to spy on the Autumn Court.”

Azriel waited for more. For a warning not to go near Eris. But nothing came.

“That’s all?”

“We need to know if Eris is really on our side or not.” Cassian interjected.

“Okay,” Was that truly it? There was no warning? Did they really not know? “I’ll leave at dawn.”

***

Why had he done it? Why had he been so pathetic? He had begged him. He had fucking begged him. Eris cringed as he leaned his head against the dark slate wall of his bathroom, steam curling in the air around him. He couldn’t believe himself. The first time was one thing, tensions were high, they were in a foreign palace, Azriel had pressed against him and sparks had flown. That time could be rationalized. This time…there was no way he could come up with a way to reason with that. And he initiated too. Azriel probably hadn’t even wanted to touch him.

Eris, lightly, banged his head against the stone. He hadn’t been able to get his mind off the encounter. Not as Keir tried to set him up with some flustered and curvy female. Not as he walked through the halls of his father’s palace or stood in the shower as the water washed Azriel’s scent off his body. He knew how he felt. He knew that even though he had tried and tried to convince himself that he just needed a release that it wasn’t really the truth. Those two times he had had sex with Azriel weren’t meaningless to him as they were to Az. They were hope that he wasn’t completely, wholly alone. That someone might feel something for him other than hatred. Hope that Azriel could make him feel again.

But in his heart he knew that that idea was just as delusional as his father thinking he could fix him by setting himself up in some meaningless political marriage with some blubbering female.

Chapter Text

Gliding through the early morning fog of the Autumn Court, Azriel finally felt at peace. It was q=uiet there, actually quiet. There were no shadows to whisper to him in the cold white mist that surrounded him, not even before the sun rose, no happy couples or conflicting feelings about Mor or Gwyn or Elain and the chill of it against his wings forced him into the present.

He had been scouting the Autumn Court for a month now, searching for any sign that Eris wasn’t completely and utterly on their side. Azriel had been watching Eris’ every move to the point where he had his entire schedule memorised; wake, shower, dress, breakfast with his mother, courtly duties for the rest of the day, bathe, dinner, occasionally read on his bed before sleep. Yet he wanted nothing to do with Eris. He hated this. He never wanted to know this much about him. He never wanted to know what Eris looked like as he slipped into the bath at sunset, the steam that curled off his body glowing and sparkling in the light that poured from the wall of windows. Or how his smile as he talked to his mother changed, turning genuine like Azriel had never seen it before. Or watch him thrust against his sheets at night, breathing such tempting moans into his pillow.

Azriel wanted nothing to do with it and he was fighting with everything he had to never have to look at Eris again, to never have to be tempted by his hands or the lines of his torso that Azriel’s eyes traced down four times a day everyday for a month. He was desperate to fall for someone. Gwyn. Elain. Anyone to make him feel something for someone other than Eris. And yet here he was sectioned off from everyone save Eris and Rhys, waiting to be told to come back to the Night Court. To the women he needed to see. But instead he glided through the air after Eris as he deviated from his routine to walk through the forest in the middle of the night.

Dry leaves crunched under Eris’ feet, wind blowing through his hair as he walked. He did this so rarely out of fear that someone would find him or follow him and discover the only place he had that was solely his; the only place he let himself relax and let what he was feeling show. So he walked quickly through the trees, the path illuminated by the moon reflecting through the low hanging fog that consumed the trees above him. Sure he could have winnowed there but part of the experience was the walk. It was therapeutic and quiet and peaceful. It was exactly what he needed when his thoughts were too loud for him to think clearly.

It didn’t take Eris long to reach the small lake and waterfall that were his safe place. Azriel followed right behind him, landing silently in a tall tree just below the fog cover, enabling him to watch Eris without the threat of being seen. And he watched in similar silence as Eris stripped down and waded into the cold, shallow water of the lake.

He stopped and stood where the water came up to his waist, staring up at the cascade strong enough to kill either one of them. Eris was still, so remarkably still Azriel could have mistaken him for a statue, until his mask of calm and collection broke and he screamed into the waterfall. It wasn’t a scream of rage or frustration or physical pain but one of misunderstanding and loneliness and hurt.

Azriel startled. That was the last thing he had ever expected Eris to let loose. Yet the waterfall masked nearly all of the sound and the fog hid the rest. Previously Azriel had thought Eris to be going there to meet someone but now he saw the truth. This place was Eris’ getaway just as the Court of Nightmares was his.

“Are you watching me now?” Eris muttered as he stared at his own reflection in the water. While his words were not loud enough to be heard naturally the shadows carried them to Azriel’s ears, whispering them back to him. Eris chuckled. “Who am I kidding?” He growled. “Why would you ever care to watch me. Why would you—why would anyone care about me. For me.” He spat into the water. “Is this what you want?!” He was shouting now, fury tainting the edges of his voice. “When I rejected Morrigan for being bi because I knew she would not be happy here--with me? When I proposed to Nesta because I was so desperate for someone to look at me the way she looked at Cassian?” His voice died down, losing the anger, the passion, the will to fight against the fate the Caldron had written for him. “When I fell for a man who will never want me back?”

His words left Azriel shocked. Mor was bi? And Eris knew? And that was why Eris had proposed to Nesta minutes after meeting her? As for the last…Using his shadows to mask the sound of his wings, Azriel launched into the sky. He didn’t know what he was doing or what compelled him to do it. What he did know was that he wanted to see Eris, not just watching from afar but to stand next to him and touch him and talk to him. And, while he denied it, that he wanted Eris to share that place with him. He landed heavily a short distance from the side of the lake, making sure Eris heard him.

Eris spun around to face him, ready to fight whoever approached him, flames burning around his fists.

“I heard a scream,” Azriel said by way of greeting. It wasn’t a lie. Eris had screamed.

“Shit,” Eris breathed, his heart pounding in his ears. If Azriel had heard his scream, what else did he hear? “Why are you here?” He didn't mean to sound so hostile but he was scared; scared of what Azriel could have heard; scared of why he was there. Could it be that he had heard him and that he was there to confirm what he had known all along because some horrid piece of his mind still held onto hope that someone could love him.

“I heard a scream.” Azriel repeated, his eyes traveling over Eris’ disgraded clothes. He had been so consumed by watching Eris’ every move that he hadn’t had the time or energy to bathe in days. Once again he found himself moving without thinking, this time striping down to match Eris in nudity and join him in the water. No one had seen him fully naked before, aside from Rhys and Cassian, no one. So why was he stripping in front of Eris? Why was he letting this man see him when he knew nothing would ever come of them? Yet he didn’t stop.

Eris’ heart lurched as he watched Azriel undo the buckles on his flying leathers. “The fuck are you doing?!” Why was he protesting this? Was this not what he had thought of so often since they met? Since Azriel pinned him against the floor in front of all the High Lords? Since he had found Azriel after and aggravated him into pinning him against a wall and fucking him?

“Does it matter?” Azriel asked, not wanting to admit what he had been doing that prohibited him from even bathing. Or acknowledge that he was nervous for Eris’ reaction to his body. He dropped his leathers to the ground, his wings, large enough that the tips dragged on the ground when he walked, no matter how high he held them, twitching at the movement. Eris stared at him wide eyed and transfixed by the sight. As Azriel approached him, Eris’ eyes only got wider.

There was so much of this male to see; so much he had never seen before as they had never taken their clothes off when they fucked. The well defined muscles, the dark flowing tattoos that curled up his arms over his chest and to his neck. He looked at him like he would never be able to get enough of him; like he could spend the rest of his life memorizing every inch, every fucking millimeter of his body and be perfectly, wonderfully content. And when Azriel got close enough to touch, his gaze landed on his hands and the unmistakable scars that covered them.

He wanted to touch them. He wanted to hold Azriel’s hands and bring them so very gently to his mouth to kiss every inch of them. But Azriel would hate that and he knew it so he shifted his eyes to meet his instead only to find him already staring. And suddenly the few inches Azriel had on him seemed to be so much more as they stood there, frozen and so close together. Eris had gone to Azriel both times before this, aggravated him and begged him. He wanted this time, if anything came of standing so close together naked in the lake, to be different. He wanted Azriel to be the one to come to him. For, if Azriel did, it would mean that maybe, just maybe he felt any fraction of what Eris felt for him. So Eris didn’t move as much as he longed to kiss him, watching whatever conflict was waging behind Azriel’s eyes.

Then, slowly, so very slowly, Azriel raised his hands to frame Eris’ face. His fingers and palms rough with centuries of training and fighting, his skin tight and ridged from his scars, yet his touch was soft and gentle. Eris leaned into it just slightly, and completely involuntarily. Completely. Or at least that’s what he told himself. But when Azriel’s lips touched his, the way they parted was not involuntary, nor was the way he tilted his head for a better angle or moved his hands to Azriel’s wrists to keep them there.

There was no urgency in this kiss they shared. It was gentle and loving and full of longing. And so very unlike anything either of them had experienced before. Eris sighed into the kiss, letting it consume his mind and drive away his thoughts, letting his being simmer down until he was nothing but that kiss. But it ended too soon when Azriel pulled away and Eris’ heart fell. However, Azriel didn’t let go of him or move away from him but rather pulled him closer, wrapping him in his arms and burying his face in his shoulder.

Eris froze. Was this really happening? Was Azriel really hugging him? Tentatively Eris moved to hug him back, slipping his arms around his neck. His hands came to rest on Az’s back just inches away from the base of his wings. Inches that were the difference between whatever it was they were doing now and something real. Something that would last. Something that would mean he could touch him, kiss him, talk to him whenever and wherever he wanted. But he would take this—this confusing mess, this relationship that was built on hatred on one side and desperation for understanding on the other—over nothing. So he tightened his grip on the male before him and focused on the feel of Az’s head on his shoulder, his thick wavy hair against his jaw, the warmth of his body against him.

What am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing, what am I doing, what am I doing?! What the fuck am I doing? Azriel recited, very slightly rubbing his cheek against Eris’ shoulder. His skin was so soft there and he smelled so good. Like rain on fallen leaves and cinnamon. The sweet scent of autumn that he had always loved all wrapped up into one person. Eris. Why did it have to be Eris? Of everyone there was? Eris? A male? And a potential enemy at that. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t be falling for Eris. He just couldn’t.

Azriel pulled away from Eris to look at him. He had pretty eyes and soft hair; a straight nose; strong jaw; perfect lightly freckled skin. He had everything Az looked for in females, at least in physical characteristics. And he was good in bed. So good. The way he clutched at him, how his body moved under and against him, the sounds he made. All of it. If Eris was female, if Eris wasn’t Eris everything would be so much easier. But he wasn’t. And there was no point in love, in affection, in a relationship if the line could not be furthered—if a child couldn’t come of the union.

But this was just sex, it meant nothing, Eris’ words claiming to have fallen for him meant nothing. It couldn’t.

Azriel clung to those thoughts like they were his lifeline, reciting them over and over again even as he leaned into Eris to once again seal their mouths together.

They lost each other in the kiss, pulling and clutching and grinding at the other. This kiss was so much different than the last. It was fast and desperate and passionate, leading up to something both of them knew was coming. And it was Azriel who slid his hands to Eris’ lower back, whose tongue traced his lips, who rolled his hips into Eris. It was Azriel who did everything first, just as Eris had wanted him to. All while Eris went along and waited with longing in his pounding heart to be taken by this beautiful nightmare.

He leaned into him, letting Azriel take most of his weight, which he did like it was nothing. The water that rippled around their waists was cool, runoff from the Winter Court borders that warmed as it traveled down to Autumn and Summer. The sun that crested over the trees and cut through the fog warmed Eris back in a delightful manner. He had always liked warm better than cold. The sun in the Autumn Court was hot and comforting—and meant that Eris was supposed to meet his parents in fifteen minutes.

Pulling away sharply upon the realization, Eris gasped out: “I have to go.”

“You do.” Azriel repeated. His voice was emotionless yet his heart ached with disappointment.

“I do,” he confirmed, forcing himself to nod against Azriel’s neck. He didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay and feel Az’s hands on him; feel how he thrust his hips forward to grind their cocks together between them. He wanted to stay to be able to feel Azriel inside of him again for only the second time, that was all he could think about at the moment. However his father would be expecting him to show his face soon and he knew the punishment that came with not following his orders. Eris shifted to look up into Azriel’s dark eyes. “Find me tonight? In my room?” This would be his answer. He would know that night if Azriel felt the same for him.

Azriel nodded, it wasn’t like he had anything better to be doing anyway; he’d be watching Eris, might as well join him.

Eris stood watching him for just a few seconds, admiring what he could have had had he not made previous arrangements, before hurrying from the water to his clothes. Azriel watched him as he went, steam curling from his body as he raised his temperature to dry himself off. Everything in his body told Azriel to follow him. The sight of his perfect ass alone was enough to test Az’s control. But he let him go, knowing that not only would he be spying on him throughout the day but he would get to be with him that night.

***

For Azriel and Eris alike the day was long and tedious, both eagerly awaiting the next moment they would have alone together. However, as Azriel watched Eris training his dogs with one of his brothers in a field of green grass and scattered fallen leaves he heard Rhys’ voice delivering the message he had waited so long for.

You can come home, Az. We’ll have a meeting tonight about what you’ve found.

Azriel had thought those words would be his salvation. Watching Eris’ for all these weeks had been torture. He had never thought that those words would make his heart sink. He wanted to stay for just one more night. But he couldn’t and he knew it, Rhys would be furious. So he took off from the thick boundary of trees and winnowed away into his room at the House of Wind.

Maybe it was for the best anyway.

***

Eris returned to his chambers quickly that night, anticipation making his heart race in his chest. His bedroom was empty when he got there, but that was normal right? He had asked Azriel to find him there, not meet him there. So he took a shower, too nervous to sit still long enough to take a bath. When he stepped out of the bathroom, his room was still empty and silent. So he hung his towel and grabbed a book to lay on his bed and wait. And so he waited. And waited…and waited.

It was only after a few hours that he realized he was hoping that Azriel would come, and that that hope had been crushed. He should have been expecting this. He should have known, without a doubt, that Azriel would not be meeting him that night. But he had let himself hope that he would and he never should have.

At least I have an answer now. Eris thought. At least I know he feels nothing for me.

Chapter Text

The dining hall of the House of Wind was full of chatter. Happy chatter as the Inner Circle sat around the table, Rhys at the head, Feyre beside him, baby Nyx on Cassian’s shoulders reaching, fascinated, for his wings as if he didn’t have a pair of his own. Azriel sat at the end of the group, an empty chair between him and Cassian. It was obvious they were waiting for someone, Rhys would never have called for a meeting for no reason, nor set a random seat.

Azriel shifted restlessly in his chair. Elain sat across for him, Mor next to her, both of them participating in the conversation he couldn’t be bothered to follow. He watched their movements out of the corner of his eye. Fluid and graceful. Their skin, perfectly smooth. Their hair, long and curled and delicately styled. Their bodies all curves and soft lines. Mor was everything he had wanted for centuries. Elain everything he had wished for since he met her. And yet he found himself thinking of Eris. Comparing them. His movements strong and confident; the skin of his jaw speckled with stubble in the morning; his hair ruffled and messy from Az’s own hands; his body all cords of muscle and hard angles. He was the exact opposite of them. At least Azriel could rationalize that with the red hair and freckles he was simply replacing his fantasies of Gywn with someone who looked vaguely—very vaguely—like her. But with Mor and Elain…

Azriel shook his head, just a little, trying to dislodge those thoughts from his mind while the door at the end of the chamber opened and in walked their last guest.

Eris’ eyes landed on Azriel immediately, dragging over his broad shoulders and gloved hands to his wings draped over the short back of his chair. There was an empty seat next to Azriel; the only empty seat complete with wine and a place setting. Clearly where he was meant to sit. Yet he could hardly bear the idea of sitting next to Cassian let alone Azriel after he had as good as stood him up. At least he knew Cassian hated him and hatred he could deal with. Hatred he had dealt with all his life. But Azriel’s confusing knot of mixed signals…that was an entirely different feeling. A very unwelcome feeling and one that, despite his greatest efforts to put it behind him, sparked anger in his chest when he looked at the male.

Yet he slipped between Azriel and Cassian’s wings, being extraordinarily careful not to touch either of them, and took the seat between them. Cassian, who hadn’t noticed his arrival, choked on his wine, startling Nyx on his shoulders while Azriel shot him a quick, sidelong glance. It had been weeks since he left the Autumn Court, weeks since he had even seen Eris. He had had no choice in leaving…in standing him up. But Eris didn’t know that, did he? He had to tell him at some point, otherwise Eris would continue to ignore him, sending anger rippling off of him in Az’s direction.

But maybe, Azriel thought as he tugged at the confusing knot of his emotions, looking for an end that would give him at least some understanding of what he felt, that was for the best. Maybe if Eris continued to ignore him, if he stayed angry with him for the rest of eternity--or at least until Azriel found his mate--it would keep him away from him. For he hated that he had gone to Eris; that he had kissed him and hugged him in a way that he should only treat a female. It haunted him at night, consuming his mind in memories, memories that he drowned in until he gave up on sleep and went in search of alcohol, or Gwyn. Memories of Eris’ scent, his touch, what it had felt like to be inside of him, how it was better than it had ever been with a female. And now, as he sat next to Eris in front of the Inner Circle--in front of Elain and Mor--and his scent washed over him, those memories came rushing back. And he could hardly stand to sit still.

“Why is he here?” Cassian spat the question out at Rhys, not bothering to hide any ounce of the hatred he held for Eris from his voice.

“We need to build trust with our allies, don’t we?” He said sweetly, smiling and wiggling his fingers in Nyx’s direction, who laughed and clapped in response.

“And we do that by having dinner with him?” Nesta added.

Beside him, Eris sipped his wine, completely unfazed by the way they were talking about him as if he wasn’t sitting at the same table. But as Azriel watched him out of the corner of his eye and listened to what the others said, a spark of anger flared in his chest. He had been talked about like that before, he knew how it felt…and yet Eris didn’t seem to be affected in the least. So he let it go and, as much as he didn’t want to, let the conversation continue around them.

“Because this isn’t just a dinner,” as Rhys began to pass the food around, his mate’s words finally got Azriel to look up from his wine. Why had he not known about this? He was supposed to know everything about the Night Court and yet Rhys had failed to mention the true meaning behind this dinner? “We need to strengthen our alliance…but there’s also something we need to do.”

"Something we’ve been putting off since the war,” Amren added with a pointed glance to the High Lord and Lady. Clearly the “we” they were speaking of hadn’t included her.

In truth, there were a lot of things that hadn’t dealt with after the war--The death of not one but two death gods, the rest of Hybern’s forces, Jurian and Lucien and Vassa, including her curse--they only thing they really attempted to deal with was Beron and the Autumn Court. But there was one thing that stood out above all the others to Azriel. One thing that no one even wanted to talk about.

You cannot be serious.

He shot at Rhys, glaring his down over the potatoes Eris had to reach around Cassaian’s plate for. While Rhys didn’t answer, merely shooting him a sly grin, Feyre gave all the explanation they needed a second later.

“Bryaxis.” The mutterings around the table went, suddenly, quiet. Tense silence falling like a fog over them all.

What felt like an eternity later, Cassian was the first to speak, a sharp “What.” cutting through that silence. Despite Bryaxis coming to their aid against Hybern, Cassian still shuttered at the mere mention of its name. Eris, on the other hand, forced himself to hold back the laugh that crept up his throat. He had seen Bryaxis during the battle; the being that was meant to be a living embodiment of fear itself that to him seemed like nothing more than a puppy testing how far it could run.

“It’s been over a year since the war ended,” Feyre continued. “We’ve been waiting for it to come back, but it’s time we face the reality that it isn’t--that we will need to bring it back.”

Cassian, setting his fork heavily on the table, opened his mouth to protest, however before he could, Azriel spoke: “She’s right. It’s been too long and we know too little.”

“Exactly,” Cassian argued. “We hadn't heard anything. Don’t you think that if it was causing problems somewhere in the world we would have heard something? That word would have gotten back to us by now?”

“The Autumn Court had no idea what’s going on in the Night Court,” Eris sipped from his wine, loving the small fact that he could prove Cassian wrong. “If it was up to my father, you wouldn’t know what was going on in Autumn either. It is nothing short of ignorant to believe nothing is going on in the world just because you haven’t heard of it.”

Rhys sighed from the head of the table. He had made it abundantly clear since the war, and even before that, that Eris was on their side and had become increasingly annoyed when Azriel and Cassian refused to treat him as such. “It doesn’t matter if we’ve heard about it or not, it’s out there somewhere and it isn’t honoring its bargain--it's time we find it.” Cassian huffed his disagreement, shooting a glance across Eris towards Az.

“Okay. Fine.” Nesta shrugged, her mate’s expression mirrored on her face. “Why does he need to be here?” she gestured unceremoniously at Eris, not bothering to look at him.

Something akin to anger flickered in Azriel’s throat. He had never really liked Nesta, tending to avoid her as much as possible, but now that she was Cassian’s mate he could hardly do that. That had to be what he was feeling. It couldn’t possibly be anything else. He had never felt it for Mor or Elain or Gwyn after all.

Azriel opened his mouth, determined to say something--what, he had no idea. Yet he felt compelled to defend his High Lord’s decision to invite Eris. However before he could, a small voice chimed in significantly quieter than anything said so far that night. “He hasn’t done anything to you, why do you have to be so horrible to him?” Everyone’s gaze swung to Elain, shocked that she would speak in favor of Eris. Eris who was staring at her with raised brows from across the table. He had done nothing to deserve that defence of such a kind and gentle individual, and his brother’s mate at that.

An awkward silence followed after her words, Nesta’s eyes filled with what could only be a mix of anger and confusion and Azriel’s chest with pride over how Elain could defend someone almost all the others at least disliked. Rhys cleared his throat, tense and awkward before he continued to Nesta and Cassian, “Eris proved his trust and loyalty to us…but a few of us have yet to do the same,” it was more than clear who Rhys was talking about; Cassian, for obvious reasons and Azriel himself. Nesta’s dislike for him came purely from disdain of his personality, but for Az and Cass it was a lack of trust. “Think of it as a…team building exercise…” he waited then, as if expecting a response from the others who simply stared at him. “Amren?” He segued, after a short but nonetheless awkward silence, gesturing to her to explain what he could not.

“On the continent,” She began, pulling a weathered book out of a bag on the floor. “There’s a lesser fae, a cousin to the Suriel, that will tell a truth to whoever finds it. However, only three things are known about it: no fae, lesser or higher can find it, it only exposes itself to groups of three and that it takes something in return.” She flipped through the pages as she spoke, landing on a rough sketch of a hooded figure shadowed in the trees over a lake.

“Cassian and Azriel will be going,” Rhys said, once again taking control of the situation. “Along with Eris, who’ll be using his dogs to find it. To ask the location of Bryaxis.” There was no room for argument in his words. And as Azriel choked on his wine, Rhys’ gaze found his.

You. Are. Fucking. Kidding. Me.

Azriel growled into his head.

Rhys smiled at him, linking his fingers together and resting his head on them like he was watching the most entertaining play in the world.

I figured you would be the most comfortable with Eris considering you spent a month following him.

Azriel looked down quickly after that. His hands on Eris’ body. His lips parting under his. The grind of his body against him, their cocks rubbing together, sliding inside of him down to the hilt. Every memory with him raced through his head. Kissing him. Fucking him. Hugging him. There was no way Rhys could know, Az prided himself on his mental shields. It was just a coincidence. That was all. That was all it could ever be. While Rhys didn’t want him with Elain and had made that horribly clear there was no way he would want him with Eris. It was wrong. It was so wrong on so many levels. His mating bond would manifest. To Gwyn or Mor or some other female as it couldn’t with Elain. There was no future with Eris--no feelings with him. It was just sex. That was all. Just sex…yet his heart moved when he was with him. He had kissed him and wanted more. His shadows may have sung for Gwyn, for Mor at one point, but they longed for Eris. They searched him out, bringing him reports even when he didn’t want them--when he was alone in bed and Eris was stripping down for a bath. When he lay awake and Eris had his hands down his pants. Even now they snaked towards his feet under the table--But nothing would ever come of them. Nothing. He wanted to be happy with a female like Cassian was and have kids like Rhys did. He wanted to trust his mate like Feyre did. And he would never trust Eris.

“When do we leave.” Cassian growled, his displeasure obvious in his voice that pulled Azriel out of his head.

“First thing tomorrow morning,” Rhys grinned.

***

The rest of the dinner passed in surface level conversations, nearly all of which Eris was left out of and awkward silence. And, finally, when it was over, Rhys ordered Eris to be directed to his room by the last person he wanted to be around. So he trailed nearly two meters behind Azriel as he led him through the halls. There hadn’t been a word exchanged between the two of them all night and Eris wanted to keep it that way. He had no desire of ever interacting with Azriel again, he had given him a chance to get into his heart, to show that he felt the same way and he had thrown it all away.

Azriel, however, was trying to come up with something to say to him. He wanted to apologize, yet he had no idea how. So they walked in silence to a room a few doors down from Azriel’s. It was blatant that Eris didn’t want anything to do with him anymore--That was for the best if Azriel was being honest with himself--yet he still felt compelled to apologize. He was about to be forced into proximity with Eris for who knew how long for the first time, he might as well try to smooth things out between them while Cassian wasn’t with them.

Eris watched with a raised brow and skepticism as Azriel opened the door for him, revealing a large common room leading to a slightly smaller bedroom decorated in oranges and reds. As he walked in he noticed the high ceilings and two of his favorite books already on his nightstand. Who could have done this? Who had the time to do this? Who would take the time to do this for him of all people?

“Hey,” Eris turned to look at Az as he spoke, an emotion he couldn’t--No, that he didn’t want to identify flaring in his chest. “Eris, look, I--”

“Shut the fuck up, Azriel,” Eris snapped. “You had your chance.”

And with that, Eris slammed the door in Azriel’s face before he had a chance to finish.

Chapter Text

Early the next morning, Eris leaned against the railing on the balcony attached to his bedroom and watched the silent sunrise bathe the city in golden light that sparkled against the river and gleamed against the roofs and buildings that lined it. He hadn’t slept that night, tossing and turning and thinking about Azriel. What had he wanted to tell him? What had Eris stopped him from saying? Would Azriel have apologized if he hadn’t slammed the door on his face? Did he even want that? Azriel had as good as told him what he felt about him and that was that. What more was there to say? 

“I’m sorry but I don’t feel the same for you.” Already said. And Eris would get passed it, he knew he would. This was just another rejection. And there had been so many rejections in his horribly long life. This would be no different. He would get over this just as he had all the others. Azriel was no different, he had to be no different. 

But in his heart Eris knew he was. He didn’t have the energy for rejection anymore. Azriel would be the last person Eris pursued and he knew it. He would accept the next marriage arrangement his father thrust on him and that would be his life. The same as any other part of it. Disappointing. Painful. Lonely.

He sighed softly to himself, hanging his head in his hands. Why the fuck did he have to agree to this task? He would be stuck with the very male he never wanted to see again for who knew how long. 

Fuck. What is wrong with me? 

Azriel let the wind take away his thoughts, whipping at his face and hair, clearing his head. He didn’t usually do this. But today he needed to. Today he woke up to a dream of Eris’ mouth around his cock and wet sheets. It had been centuries since that had happened to him. He was falling apart and it was all because of Eris. Fucking Eris. So he flew, for hours before the sunrise, pushing himself until his wings ached and then further. All to get Eris out of his head. 

And it worked. For a while. 

Until he went back to the House of Wind and saw Eris, bathed in gentle sunlight, bent over the railing with his beautiful hands in his glorious hair. His heart moved in his chest, tightening behind the walls he had built around it when he was just a kid. Why is he holding his head in his hands? He wondered. Did something happen? Did he dream about my cock in his--Azriel shook his head. What the actual fuck was he thinking about? He didn’t think like that about Eris. He never thought that way about Eris. It was just his dream. It had to be, there was no other reason for it. He had dreamt of Eris sucking him off, his tongue swirling around his dick, his throat enveloping his length in silky warm flesh, his lips wrapping around him and throat constricting as he swallowed all the cum Azriel spilled in his mouth, of course he thought that when he saw him bent over a railing in his home. That was the only reason he had thought that. The only reason. 

Yet the image of Eris standing there lingered in his mind long after he had reentered his room, jerked himself off for the third time that morning and met Cassian in the courtyard as they prepared for their departure. 

Cassian was not happy with Rhys. How could he have wrapped him into this bullshit without even telling him? He happened to have plans that week. But now his dinner and elaborate sex plans with Nesta had gone to the dogs and he was stuck with insufferable Eris. At least Az was there to keep him sane. Hopefully. However Az was being quiet that morning, or, more quiet than usual, and that usually meant that there was something on his mind. 

“What’ch’ya glaring about?” He prodded for what seemed to be the thousandth time as they leaned against the wall, waiting for Eris and, much more importantly, his dogs. 

“Nothing.” Azriel snapped back, his gaze fixed on the horizon. 

Fuck. Cassian thought. This is gonna be a long trip. 

The soft footfalls of padded paws alerted them to Eris’ approaching presence; Eris’ dogs flanked him as he walked, well mannered and exceptionally well behaved…until they caught sight of Azriel. Immediately they broke formation and bounded towards him, tails wagging and mouths open in happy pants. “Heel!” Eris called as they ran from him to a stunned frozen Azriel. Yet they only stopped running when they reached Az’s feet where they begged for his attention. 

Cassian raised an eyebrow at Az. The dogs were completely ignoring him, so why did they like Azriel so much? It was almost like…like they had met him before. And liked him.

Azriel had no idea what to do. He knew these dogs to be vicious and often out for blood, not the sweet, happy puppies that were wagging their tails hard enough to wiggle their whole bodies in front of him. 

“Fucking hell,” Eris muttered. His dogs only ever reacted that way to him. Had he really carried enough of Azriel’s scent that last day he had seen him to make his dogs this comfortable with him? How had his father not known? Or his brothers? His mother wouldn’t have mentioned it if he did. “They’re not usually like that. I apologize.” His dogs didn’t usually like anyone but him, let alone go against him to run to them and the fact that they had done it for Azriel of all people…his dogs were supposed to be on his side. But now they ran to the very male he wanted to hate. 

Azriel grunted in recognition, unsure of what he should do in his situation. He would have tried to apologize again if Cassian hadn’t been there, but then again. Had he really done anything wrong? To Eris, yes. But he had been stationed in the Autumn Court to follow him and he had been called back. He had been following orders. That was all. It was nothing personal…if it had been…but that didn’t matter. That hadn’t happened. 

***

Just short of an hour later Eris led them through the forest, following the trail his dogs had already picked up. Cassian and Azriel lingered behind, distancing them by a few yards to allow Cassian to mutter all his grievances to a silent Azriel. 

“He’s gonna pull something, I fucking know it,” Cass muttered, pushing a branch out of their path. “He’s gonna sabotage this whole thing and try to get one of us killed.” 

“Mmm,” Az muttered back, his mind elsewhere. 

“I mean why else would he agree to this? Amren didn’t say it has to be dogs that find the thing, and definitely not his dogs. And sure, there’s Rhys’ whole ‘team building’ thing,” he quoted the words in the air as he said them, exasperation saturating his voice. “But does he really think walking through the woods for fuck knows how long is gonna make us trust the fucker? It’s Eris.” 

“Mmm.” 

“Who the hell would ever forgive him for what he did? He nearly killed Mor, he–” 

“He didn’t do anything to Mor,” Azriel interrupted out of nowhere. Cassian’s words had sparked his memory of Eris at the waterfall. The truth of why he had done what he had to her. “He didn’t hurt her, he simply didn’t help her.” And probably made her happier in the long run. 

Cassian stared at him. “The fuck is wrong with you?” 

“What?” So fucking much. 

“Why are you defending him? You’ve hated him more than all of us combined for centuries and now you’re on his side; what changed?”

What had changed? Azriel asked himself. Because he didn’t hate Eris anymore. 

And that scared him. 

That night they made camp in a small clearing of mossy grass and ferns surrounded by impossibly tall trees that scraped the low hanging clouds. It reminded Eris of that day when Azriel had found him at the waterfall. The day he had kissed him and hugged him like he had never been kissed or hugged before. Like he mattered. Like he felt something for him. Like when he rubbed his cheek against his shoulder he wanted to mark him with his scent and never let him go. Eris’ heart had fluttered then with a tiny glimmer of hope. But oh how wrong he had been. It had been an accident at best and pity at worst. After all, why in the Mother’s name would someone like Azriel ever want someone like him?

He picked at the rabbit he had roasted himself as Cassian had refused to make him one as he had with Azriel and himself. They were talking now, Cassian mumbling things to Az that Eris was clearly not meant to catch from the opposite side of the fire. He had known this trip would be lonely, however he hadn’t expected to be completely ignored. 

I suppose this is what happens when Rhys isn’t around to play peacekeeper. Eris thought, allowing his mind to wander to distract from the conversations he was being left out of. What would have happened if Azriel had gone to my room that night? What would be different now? 

It would have started slow, with tentative kissing as this would have been different from the other times. Azriel would have backed him onto the bed, forcing him onto his back on his soft comforter, his wings would have spread as he got on top of him, the dim light glowing through the thin skin. And he would have reached out to touch them and Azriel would have leaned into the touch, because he would want it too. Azriel would have stripped him then, before himself, and pressed their bodies together as they never had before. His body would have been warm and comforting and so wonderfully heavy, and for a second, they would just lay there, soaking in each other's presence, Eris crushed beneath his weight. But they would grow impatient fast and Azriel would reach between his legs and--

“We should take shifts,” Cassian announced, for the first time all day speaking to Eris as well. “We don’t know what's out there.” 

“I can take first,” Azriel grumbled, not looking up from the bones of his rabbit. The entrails had gone to the dogs. Eris shifted in his seat when he spoke, adjusting his pants to hide the tent in them. 

“I’ll take second,” he added, more by default than anything before standing and snapping at his dogs to get them to follow him to his tent. 

Eris sighed once inside, glad to finally be free from Azriel and the memories he brought with him, even if only for a few hours. However, it didn't last even thirty minutes, soon after Cassian’s snores had started to drift through the canvas walls. 

“Eris?” Azriel called quietly from the closed tent door. 

Eris sighed. Fine. He thought. If he wants to say it that badly, fine. So he unzipped the opening with his shirt hanging unbuttoned to show off his torso. He might as well see what he’s missing out on. 

“Azriel?” He answered with a cocked brow and mock surprise. Yet his gaze wandered over the male that stood before him. Damn his wings are huge. 

Azriel hadn’t expected Eris to answer. And he certainly hadn’t expected him to do it with his shirt undone, the light of the slowly dying fire gleaming against his freckled skin. He hadn’t planned this far ahead and now thoughts were racing through his head as he tried to come up with something to say. 

I’m sorry I wanted to meet you that night I didn’t know I would have to leave I like your freckles something inside me wants to kiss them and touch you and no something’s wrong with me and it's your fault you’ve done something to me you’ve broken me I don’t hate you I don’t know what I feel for you but it's wrong I shouldn't I should hate you why don’t I hate you why don’t I hate you WHY DON’T I FUCKING HATE YOU?

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

Chapter Text

 Lit by the waxing moon Azriel led Eris through the trees, away from camp. The leaves crunched beneath their feet, a soft breeze making the trees whisper back to the hooting owls that inhabited them. Eris watched him as he walked. The way his wings twitched when a leaf drifted down and hit them. How his dark hair fluttered in the breeze…

 Where was he taking him? Maybe the whole point to this mission wasn’t really to find Bryaxis but to kill him and this was now what Azriel was plotting. Why else would he be leading him so far into the woods, so far away from camp? If he had something to say to him--if he wanted to apologize, he could have just stepped into his tent. Yet here they were…still just walking. 

It was another fifteen minutes before Azriel stopped and turned around to face Eris. He had cleared his thoughts during their trek through the trees, taking them farther than was necessary just to avoid saying what he knew he should. Now Eris glared at him with arms crossed and one eyebrow raised in suspicion and impatience.

Azriel swallowed. 

“Eris,” He began, taking a step closer to him. “I didn’t mean to leave you that night,” another step and they stood toe to toe. “I was called away. I would have met you.” Eris scoffed, rolling his eyes. Yet before he could say anything Azriel had pressed closer to him, backing him into a tree. His heart pounded in his ears, and he wished it would stop. “Let me make it up to you.” This, Azriel hadn’t planned. This was his body disobeying him and doing whatever the hell it wanted. And his shadows were doing the same as they crept up Eris’ legs, spreading them, making room for where his thigh slotted between them. 

Eris gasped, panicking every so slightly. “Azriel,” he panted, clutching at the tree behind him, digging his fingers into the bark until he felt pain. Pain that grounded his soul to his body. Pain that wasn’t enough to clear his head. “What exactly are you making up to me?” His heart was pounding faster now, and as Azriel’s shadows inched further up his legs and his hand curled around his throat it wasn’t pleasure or excitement he felt but fear. How many had those hands choked to death? How many had his shadows suffocated and tortured and skinned? This male wasn’t something to be admired or cherished. 

He was a weapon meant to be feared.

When Azriel didn’t answer, sparks burst to life in Eris’ palms. This male in front of him  might have been a weapon of mass destruction, but he was a finely honed sword. And could do just as much damage. In a flash of white hot fire, shackles snapped into place around Azriel’s wrists, burning with bright flame as they forced his hands behind his back, the light chasing away his shadows. He was in control. He was a high fae. A future High Lord. And Azriel was nothing more than a trained dog. 

“Answer me.” Eris growled, his sharp teeth bared. Azriel only stared at him, as if shocked that someone had overpowered him. “Answer. Me.” Eris repeated, tightening the fire shackles. “Were you going to kill me? Rape me? Toss me aside like I did Mor? What?” 

The look in Azriel’s eyes changed at those words that cut into him like his own blade. No. The words were on the tip of his tongue. If only he could say them…

“ANSWER ME.”  

The yelling. The fire. The burning in his hands. 

Azriel closed his eyes. The scent of that room filling his nose. And words spilled from his mouth like the vomit that had splattered the floor that day.

“I know what you did to Mor. I know why you did it. I would have done the same. Keir was at fault, not you. Never you. You gave her a chance at happiness through hardships when you knew she would have suffered with you. And you suffered the wrath of your father because of it. But you didn’t tell anyone. Not after centuries. Not after we villainized you after only hearing half the story. I heard you that day at the waterfall. I heard you. I felt you. You were misunderstood. You always have been. Yet you misunderstand my intentions. I wished to kill you once. I would have given anything. But not now. Now I understand. So understand me when I say I did not mean to leave you that day. I had every intention to meet you. I only wished to do to you what I would have done that night. If you let me.” 

Eris stared. He had never heard Azriel say so much at once. No one had. And the content of what he was saying…it was shocking. Eris’ fear and anger and defensiveness trickled away, like ice melting in the fire of his heart. And with it, the shackles that held Azriel in place dissipated into wisps of smoke and angry blisters on red skin, melting into the preexisting scars on his hands. 

When, finally, Azriel's eyes opened--when the burning in his hands had faded and the moldy, rotten scent had dissipated--they met Eris’ and his heart moved like it never had before. “Will you let me?” He asked, tentative for the first time in centuries. 

Eris blinked, hard, as if coming out of a trance. He could smell that horribly familiar scent of burning flesh and knew that he had hurt Azriel. That was why he had said so much. No other reason. And yet he found himself nodding and breathing out the simple word: “Yes.” 

It wasn’t a second more before Azriel’s mouth crashed down on Eris’, his hands wrapping around Eris’ waist and pulling him closer. Eris moaned into him, clutching at his arms, needing him closer. “Tell me,” he breathed through bruising, desperate kisses. “What exactly…you plan…to do to me?” 

Azriel pulled back, a smile on his face that Eris had never seen before. “First,” his voice was low, a growl deep in his throat. “I’m going to kiss you and touch you until your cock is rock hard for me. Then I’m going to bend you over fuck you until you see stars.“ 

Eris hummed in delight, pressing tightly up against the male in front of him. He could feel his already hard cock pressed against his thigh, restricted by his leathers. “Do you want me to tell you what I want you to do to me?”

“Yes.” The answer was immediate. 

“I want you…” he reached one hand up to Azriel’s neck, wishing that he could reach for his wings instead. What did he want Azriel to do? This was nothing like he imagined it would be. It was not that slow gentle fuck filled with longing that would mean something more than just sex. And he couldn’t very well say that was what he wanted—that he wanted Az to claim him as his own; to scent him and mark him…Like he would with a mate. But Azriel would never want that, so he settled for something that he would. “To kiss me and lick me and bite me until my skin is red and bruised for days. Then I want those pretty lips around my cock; I want your throat to constrict around me as I fuck into you. I want to cum in your mouth and I want you to use it to loosen me up so I can take that huge cock of yours. And I want you to fuck me with it through your watch, through mine. So I have to wake Cassian with shaking legs and your cum dripping out of me.”

“Fuck…” There was a blush on Azriel’s cheeks as he stared at Eris, any and all pain in his wrists long forgotten. He had never heard someone talk like Eris did. Where did he learn it? What experience did he have that made him know what to say? Something flared in Azriel’s chest at that, it crept up his throat and left a bitter taste in his mouth. He didn’t like to think of Eris with another before him. He hated the idea of it. Another male’s hands on his body or a female’s lips around his length. He wanted to purge Eris’ body of all those he had had before him. Make him forget everyone but him. 

So he dropped to his knees and hurried to unlace Eris’ pants. “Forgive me,” he hated that his breath was heavy already, that he cock ached without even being touched yet. “For skipping a step,” Eris’ hands crept to his hair. There was no way he was complaining about this. “And forgive me for my inexperience. But I can kiss you and mark you later. Now,” Azriel looked up at Eris as he pulled down his pants and let his cock spring free. “I want to make you feel good.” 

Eris grinned, yet Azriel had never done this before. He had never been with a male before Eris, let alone sucked someone’s cock. But he had received it before, so he knew where to start. 

He licked the head of Eris’ cock, letting his thick tongue form around the contours of it. Eris shuttered, a moan slipping from his lips. Azriel licked him again, the tip of his tongue pressing against that small hole, as if wishing to push inside. “Mmmff…” Eris whined. Azriel glanced up at the noise and his cock jumped. Eris had his head slightly tilted back, his eyes closed, a smile on his lips as he bit the bottom one. He was enjoying this. But it wasn’t what he had asked for, so Azriel kissed him and sucked him into his mouth. “Uuung,” Eris groaned. 

Rewarded with his noises, Azriel took Eris further, struggling, briefly, when his cock hit the back of his throat. His own cock throbbed at the action, begging for a similar pleasure--to be in Eris’ mouth, his ass, his hands, pressed between his thighs, anywhere. As long as Eris only thought of him while he did it. Eris hissed, his brows pulling together. “Don’t--ung--don’t use your teeth. Yes,” his hands tightened on Azriel’s hair, pushing him further into his cock. “Like that, uhn fuck, yes.” 

“Mmgh,” Azriel groaned, struggling to take him all the way into his mouth and down his throat. Eris looked down at him, admiring the sight of the male that held himself to such high standards choking on his cock, saliva and precum dripping down his chin. 

His cock throbbed at the sight before him, pulsing in Azriel’s hot, wet mouth. Yet as his gaze traveled further down Az’s body he found himself chuckling. Azriel was hard for him, remarkably hard, his cock outlined beautifully against his pants, the fabric wet at his tip. Eris’ dick twitched at the sight. So he slipped his foot out of his shoe and pressed it to Azriel’s cock. Azriel moaned, his hips thrusting up, and he took Eris’ cock to the base. “Fuck,” he gasped, letting his hips minic Az’s and fuck into his mouth. “Azriel,” he pulled his hair, forcing him to look at him. He did so through thick lashes and red rimmed eyes with a soft blush on his dark bronze cheeks. “Relax your jaw, I want to fuck your throat.” 

Azriel complied to his order entirely too fast. This male was not his High Lord, he wasn’t a High Lord at all, yet he followed through faster than he ever had when given an order from Rhys. His mouth fell open, allowing Eris plenty of room to fuck into him without minding his teeth. Eris grinned, sliding his foot up and down Azriel's impressive length. Azriel curled his tongue around him when Eris began to move his hips. “Ahng!” he gasped. “Oh, good boy, Azzy.” Azriel’s heart lurched, stuttering over the words he had never heard before. “Oh?” Eris cocked a brow, grinning and put more pressure on Azriel’s growing cock. “You like that?” There was no denying it, Az’s dick didn’t lie. “You like being called a good boy?” He moaned in protest, because there was no way he could…but he found himself wanting to hear it again. 

He curled his tongue further and swallowed around him. Eris moaned, his voice shuttering. “Good boy, Azriel,” he dropped his head back, letting his fingers rake and pull at his hair. “You’re doing so good…Agh…mmm fuck…” his hips bucked and rocked faster and faster still until Azriel thought he would suffocate. “Hung…! Uuhn good--Hynh--good bo-y! Ungh! Unh! Good--Hungh!! AH-FUCK!” 

Cum flooded Azriel’s mouth, filling the space around Eris’ cock and he knew that he should hate it. That the very idea of a male’s cum in his mouth should revolt him; make him want to spit it out and scrub his mouth until it bled. However as Eris pulled his cock out of his mouth he sucked it, milking him of everything he could and holding it on his tongue. And as he looked up at Eris, he wanted to swallow. He wanted something of Eris’ inside of him. He longed for it. But Eris had told him not to. And he obeyed.

“Did you swallow?” Eris asked after he got his breath back. Az opened his mouth, still on his knees, to show that he didn’t. Eris ginned. “Good boy,” he squatted down in front of him, grabbed his jaw, admiring his swollen, red lips. “You remember what to do with it?” Azriel nodded. How could he forget? “Good,” he leaned closer to him. “Now do it.” 

Azriel tackled him, shoving him onto the forest floor. Eris gasped gleefully. He always forgot how rough Azriel treated him. It made him love it all the more. As Azriel stared down from above him, shucking off his pants before undoing his own, he pressed himself against him, pushing his legs apart. Eris moaned softly, his dick rapidly hardening. He loved the feel of Azriel’s powerful thighs under his, of his hands awkwardly drifting over him like he had no idea what to do next, his eyes fixed between his legs with his mouth firmly closed to keep his cum from spilling out. 

“You gonna keep staring or are you gonna fuck me?” Eris teased, hoping to provoke him into action. And it worked. 

Azriel glared at him, his brows pulling together. Yet it was all for show, in his heart this was what he longed for--for Eris to tell him what to do so he could pretend it wasn’t his choice; that he didn’t want this…that he didn’t want even more. 

He spat Eris’ load onto his hand and reached between his spread legs. Eris mewled when he pushed the first finger inside. He forced his body to relax into the feel of it, the burn, the desire, the pain and pleasure, all of it. To relax was to take Azriel further. And he wanted all of him inside of him. For, to have Azriel inside of him was to claim him. To a degree. And his fingers were so long. “Mmm,” he mumbled, Az’s finger sinking in to the knuckle. “Fuck Az, that feels good,” but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t nearly enough, but he knew more was coming so he settled for focusing on the amazing feeling of it. Eris arched his back, pushing his ass closer to Azriel and allowing his shirt to slip up his stomach, showing off his V-line, tempting him. 

Azriel stared. 

Everything about this body before him was so very masculine. From that gloriously distinct V-line to the subtle but defined abs, the angles of his muscles that he so badly wanted to run his hands across, even the sounds he breathed out rumbled in his throat. He wasn’t supposed to like this. Yet his cock was aching in his pants, begging him to take it out. Begging to be inside Eris. The feel of his tight, warm, hole only made him want it more. So he worked him faster, stretching him to put two fingers in, then three, all while Eris’ moans and gasps grew louder, his hips thrust faster, his cock leaking onto his belly already. 

“Eris,” there was so much strain in his voice just from holding himself back. “Can I…?” 

“Yes,” Eris nodded. “Please yes.” Azriel moaned softly, pressing his lips together to contain his smile. He planted his hands on Eris’ thighs, spreading them open even further. He would never have admitted it, to anyone, but at that moment Azriel wasn’t imagining Eris as some female from a tavern he was sleeping with just for the feel of it. He was Eris. And he wanted to make Eris feel good. Not for his own pleasure but for Eris’. His own was just an added bonus. So when he pressed the head of his cock to Eris’ entrance, he sank in slowly, allowing Eris time to adjust to his length, and Eris needed that time. 

He gasped and moaned, bracing his hands against Azriel’s shoulders as his body squirmed and writhed, taking Azriel further into him. He gasped desperately, overwhelmed by the sheer size of him. Azriel had fucked his ass once before, but that had been quick and his feelings dulled with anger. Now there was no such thing and the excitement of doing this with him when Cassian slept not very far away in the forest where anyone could see rather than tucked away into one of their rooms in a strange palace heightened everything he felt. And there was so much to feel. 

“Ahg, gods,” he gasped, his cock quickly filling up and stiffening once again. 

“Does it hurt?” Azriel panted, Eris’ walls clenching around him making his head spin. 

“No,” Eris looked him in the eyes. “It’s good,” But he did wish it would hurt. Just a little. “Give me more.” More pleasure. More pain. More of everything. More of you. 

Azriel breathed out heavily. An attempt to hide how Eris’ words made his stomach tighten. Swiftly, he leaned down and sealed their mouths together, deepening the kiss with every moment that passed. He started thrusting slowly, rolling his hips to pull out and slide in just an inch at a time. Eris moaned against his lips, spreading his legs to allow Azriel to get closer, press tighter against him, chest to chest, stomach to stomach. “Ahh…” he breathed, arching his back so his cock would rub against Az’s abs as he thrust into him. “Harder,” he moaned, “Fuck me harder, Azriel.” Az’s heart stuttered. Eris’ begging shouldn't have had this effect on him. He always hated when people begged him for anything, there had never been any exception. Until now. Until Eris. 

When had that happened?

But he put the thought to the back of his mind. He would think about that some other time. Now he had a job to do. A wonderful job that he shouldn’t have wanted anything to do with. 

He dragged out of Eris, slowly, getting lost in the feel of him. His eyes rolled, just slightly. Eris felt so good. Unlike anything he had ever felt before. The first time he had been to focused on trying to ignore who he was fucking to get to really feel it. Now it was everything. Every breath matched with Eris’, every movement, every push and pull, every clench of his ass or twitch of his dick. It felt different from when he fucked females. Physically, but also emotionally. He felt connected to Eris in a way he never had before. With anyone. Not even Gwyn, or Mor, or Elain. He could feel it in Eris’ body when he moved, when he thrust into him, deep and hard, hitting his sweet spot so Eris cried out in delight. Something shimmering and golden, like his fire but dormant as if waiting for the right moment to rear its head. 

“Eris,” Azriel growled in response to Eris moving his hands up his chest. 

“What?” Eris panted, his entire body moving from Azriel’s thrusts. “Do you not like this?” Eris took his pecs in each hand, his palms pressing against Az’s nipples peaked in the cool air. He squeezed. Azriel closed his eyes and turned his head away, a flush burning his cheeks. 

Eris chuckled at the sight, provoking Azriel into another growl. 

He kissed him. First just to get him to stop talking. But then the kiss deepened. Eris slipped his tongue between Az’s lips. Probing into his mouth. Asking, silently for more. Azriel sucking his tongue in a mimic of the action he had performed on his cock just minutes before, his hips thrusting in time with the movements of their tongues. But then Azriel was pulling away from him. He moaned in dissent, wanting for more.

“Forgive me,” Azriel mumbled, staying so close to Eris that their lips brushed when he spoke. “But I have a promise to live up to.”

He moved down Eris’ body, trailing soft kisses as he went. Eris’ breathing grew heavier as Az teased him. When is he going to suck first? Eris wondered. It was the first coherent thought he had formed since Azriel entered him, save the more, harder, and fasters that had become his mantra. Azriel’s cock pounding into him felt like he was trying to drive his soul from his body. And he couldn’t think of anything that could possibly be better. Until Azriel gave a tentative lick to the hollow of Eris’ throat and sucked. “Uuungh…” Eris whined, his eyes rolling back. “Fuck…” He never knew he liked to be kissed there. “Azriel,” he clenched around him, hoping to draw out another of Azriel’s noises. 

Az groaned. His hips lurching sharply forward. 

“Uungh!” Eris moaned, his hands scrambling for a hold on Azriel. Any and every where he could. He wanted to be close to him. He wanted him to fuck him harder, faster, to press burising kisses to every inch of his skin. He wanted everything. “Az,” his hand latched onto his hair and pulled, forcing Azriel to look at him. “More…It’s not enough. Please--Agh!” 

Azriel’s eyes widened, his mouth still open from sucking on his throat. “Fuck how do you say stuff like that.” He caught Eris' grin before he kissed him. Hard and deep. He increased his pace as he did so. His thick cock thrusting into him down to the base, the head of it pushing wonderfully into his warm, wet hole. “Ung,” he groaned into Eris' mouth. The feel of being inside of him was blissfully overwhelming. “You feel good,” he trailed his lips down Eris’s jaw, following the tendons of his neck down to his collar bone. 

“You…too, Az,” he panted. “Uung…you’re doing so good. My–” my good boy he had stopped himself from saying. Because Azriel wasn’t his. This meant nothing to him. “My gods…” Azriel kissed down his chest, sucking at his freckles, leaving cherry blossom hickeys in his wake. His hands grasped Eris’ hips, pinning him down as he fucked into him, his thrusts wild and uncontrolled. “Ahg!” Eris arched his back and tightened his thighs around Azriel’s body. He locked his ankles over the small of Azriel’s back. And the tips of his toes brushed the edge of Azriel’s wings. 

Azriel gasped, his hips snapping forward. “UNGH!” Eris blurted, unexpecting. 

“Fuck,” Az growled. He pulled out of him, suddenly, drawing a displeased whine from Eris’ lips. 

“Why--Unh!” Azriel had grabbed his sides and flipped him over, onto his stomach. “Oh!” Eris hummed, distracting himself from the lonely absence of Az’s mouth on his chest. “Do you prefer t--HNGH!” Azriel had thrust inside of him once more. Met with no resistance he sank in deep and fast, hitting and sliding against his sweet spot like he was made to fit there. “Ungh! Huung!! Az!” He couldn’t take this. This new position allowed Azriel deeper still. He could feel him bulging out of his belly with every thrust, pressing his skin to the forest floor. “Azriel! Hung!” 

Azriel grabbed a fistfull of Eris’ fiery locks and pulled him up. Forcing him onto his knees and pressing his back to his chest. “Eris,” he growled, rumbling low in his throat, his cock thrusting into Eris’ ass in time with their heavy breathing. 

Eris moaned in response, his head tilted to let his lips graze his cheek. “Azriel…” his panting breaths came in heavy puffs against Az’s bronze skin. “I want to cum. Uung, I want to cum…” 

“Gods,” he moaned. Azriel reached around him, to take his cock in his hand. 

He wrapped his fingers around Eris’ length. “Hung…” His thumb traced circles around his head and glands. “Ungh!” Azriel’s cock pounded into him, hitting that spot every time. “Azriel! Fuck, ungh!” Azriel cursed under his breath. Eris was tightening around him, approaching his orgasm and driving Azriel fast towards his. “Faster! Hyung! Yes!!” Eris dropped his head back, falling into the feeling of his muscles tightening, his cock and balls filling up. And Azriel jerked his cock faster and thrust harder. “Hung!” he whined. “UNGH! AGH!!’ he grabbed on to Azriel’s arm, searching for purchase. “I’m gonna cum! Az!!” 

“Fuck,” Azriel panted, his head bowed, just a little. “Me too.” 

“Yea–ugh?” 

“Yes.” 

Eris smiled. “Good boy. Cum for me, Azzy. Cum for me. You’re such a good boy, you’re doing so well. Yes. You feel so--ung!--good! Cum for me. Cum for me, ba–-BAUNG! AGH! MMMFF…” Eris’ voice trailed off into a muffled groan as he and Azriel dove together into a spiral of flame and shadow. 

Engulfing their bodies. Melting them. Fusing them together. Making them one. 

Azriel fell into a kneeling position as he came down from his high. Eris fell with him, his body limp, his legs spread so they framed Azriel’s thighs, shaking softly. Vaguely, in the back of his mind he registered the warmth in his stomach that Az had planted inside of him. But mostly, he was happy; he was content, for the first time in so very long, he was content. He felt like he could stay there, wrapped in Azriel’s warm embrace, with his softening cock still inside him for the rest of eternity.  

Yet he wanted more.

“Azriel,” his voice was soft and low and raspy from how much moaning he had done already. Azriel looked at him, meeting his eyes with that intense gaze Eris could never get enough of. “Fuck me again.” 

The first time had been quick. It wasn’t even the end of Azriel’s watch yet. 

So he fucked him again.

And again. 

And again. 

And again. 

Until too much time had passed and they would barely be able to make it out of the forest before Eris’ watch was up. His knees wobbled as he walked; he could feel Az’s cum leaking out of him and dripping down his thighs. He smiled. 

Together, they rushed back to the clearing. They didn’t talk. Not because it was awkward or that they regretted it, but because they both agreed that nothing should be done to shatter the newfound peace between them.