Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The perfect summer break activity and the one thing Jisung is looking forward to the very most every single year without fail, is church camp.

It makes sense to everyone, actually. His parents, his friends, the students from the all girls school next to his own, male only one, whom he knows find him to be quite the catch. There is no secret at all to it. To Han Jisung, the pastor's son, always being the first name on the list of participants for church summer camp. The whole thing is too great to miss anyway. He could have fun with fellow believers in a safe space, a little vacation for young men, while his parents would be away on a trip of their own.

So when Jisung puts his name right on top of the list once again, he is just as optimistic as he always is that everything will be nothing short of unforgettable.

With his father's close friend being one of the pastors present to take care of service, confessions and honestly also anything else regarding proper religiously led aspects of young people care they need to provide, Jisung is also one of the very first people to arrive and help out right on scene. He really is such a wonderful young man, dutiful, diligent, helping wherever he can. Though it might also just be like this because he takes his role as a first time supervisor very seriously. And he is just done carrying the last boxes into the dining area in the main house when everyone is being called to assemble, gather in the giant open space within the building they use as the main activity and club room too and listen to pastor Park's annual starting speech.

Jisung is smiling from ear to ear all throughout, excitement unable to stay hidden when camp is his favorite summer activity after all and he has had this feeling all along that this year would be extra special. He could feel it in his bones that something would be different this year and until the end of pastor Park's speech when the door opens and his wife comes walking in with another person right by her side, he could have sworn it had to be something good. Life changing in all the most positive ways.

Really, he had woken up this morning around ten minutes before his alarm rang, to perfect weather and the feeling of a great rest. His coffee was the perfect temperature with the ideal amount of sugar and milk and there was not a single red light on the way up to camp, where his father dropped him off, said goodbye, then left him there with everyone already present.

But one glance at the young man by Mrs Park's side is enough for Jisung to know that life had just given him all the good things for the day to then fuck him over big time with an unforeseen danger in the shape of a sketchy looking newcomer, who looks like he smokes at recess and wants to be absolutely anywhere else but here. Jisung barely even manages to properly listen to the pastor introducing the guy as Minho or something similar. Because the moment he can see Minho's eyes start to wander, he does all he can to not be looking back by the time his gaze might or might not reach him. No way he would risk that. The guy would probably start to bully him for it or something and even though he is not looking at him right now, he could swear he feels his eyes on him at some point, glaring holes into Jisung's entire existence. Great. Wonderful. Just peachy. Day one of his favorite summer activity and he already feels like he might not survive it this time.

And because Jisung values his safety and cannot risk the chance that his parents might have to plan his funeral so early on in life, he approaches pastor Park once everyone else disperses into their assigned huts, to ask him about who the new guy is and what brings him here.

"Minho is smart, talented young man with lots of potential. But Satan has been trying to tempt him, drag him down a path of no return. I was hoping that maybe there is a chance you could keep a bit of an eye on him? I trust you the very most and if there is anyone who can help him find his way back to God, it is you, Jisung. I am counting on you."

Needless to say that walking to his own hut after that conversation simply has to be one of the most uncomfortable walks he has ever had to take. Of course pastor Park would want him to keep an eye on Minho. Of course it would have to be him. Han Jisung. Son of the pastor Han everyone in the community accepts, cherishes and loves so dearly. Jisung, the guy who loves camp more than anything, returns every year, helps out wherever and whenever he can. Though even Han Jisung would obviously choke up and still in his movements the moment he opens the door to his assigned hut, number five, just to be faced with the very newcomer he was hoping not to have to see for much more than the occasional glance to check on him whether or not he is carving profanities into trees when nobody is looking.

Minho does not talk when he sees him though. He simply stares with a bored expression, eyes dropping down to look him up and down, full concentration. He almost feels naked from how intensely Minho is staring at him, worries for just a moment the guy might attack him or something. For no reason of course because Jisung did not do anything to him at all. But all Minho does when he is done is to let out the smallest chuckle, then turn right back to where his bag is on his bed, taking out some clothing and bathroom essentials. Jisung lets out a relieved breath. Just enough to gather his courage, do what he can to make the pastor proud.

"Hi, I'm Han Jisung.", he introduces himself with a smile, steps closer and holds out his hand. Minho looks at his hand first, then up at his smiling face, waiting for a few seconds, still completely silent. Great. He is not much of a talker, apparently. "I will be your roommate for the duration of camp and do think it couldn't have been any better for you, considering I am a veteran. I know all there is to know about camp, so feel free to ask me whatever you might need an answer to and I will do my best to help. Let's get along and have an unforgettable summer."

He tries to be motivating, optimistic. Anything to pull Minho along, who still makes not a single effort to grab Jisung's hand. So Jisung retreats it again, awkwardly clears his throat.

"Unforgettable, you say... tell me, Jisung, how old are you and who dragged you here?"

It is the first time Jisung heard his voice and he almost wants to laugh at the tone and exact choice of questions the other had chosen to ask.

"Excuse me?"

"What? You said I could ask anything I might need an answer to, so that is what I did. Going back on your word already?"

Jisung scoffs in disbelief at the audacity of this guy. He wishes his friend Felix was here with him instead like every other year before. Just because he would have far less of an awkward and uncomfortable atmosphere to deal with than he does with Minho. Felix is the sweetest and one of his closest friends since absolutely forever. He is not scary and certainly not the kind of roommate that would kill you in your sleep, then make it look like a tragic accident to authorities. He is not so sure he could say the same thing about Minho though.

"I'm eighteen and no one dragged me here. I came because I absolutely love camp. I've come ever since I was a kid."

The fact that Minho is laughing at his reply makes Jisung furious.

"Yeah, right. I don't know what's worse, actually. The fact that you just said you are coming here and proceed to still do so even at eighteen or that you are actually proud of it."

"Hey! Why would I not be proud? It's a great journey, makes me feel closer to god than most other experiences outside Sunday mass ever could."

"Mhm, sure, if you say so."

"Don't speak like you can think of even-"

"I can think of at least ten very enjoyable and free activities that can bring you closer to god and are not masquerading as some pretentious staycation for the good ones.", Minho interrupts, "Or those that think they are, at least."

"I don't believe you."

"No? Hmm... ever had a kiss that made you all hazy? That's one."

Jisung decides to change the topic before he would start an argument with the scary roommate on day one already. He cannot die so soon.

"Anyway, why are you not telling me your age and why you are here?"

Minho grins like the mischievous cat demon that he is. Jisung's jaw tightens. Calm. He could stay calm. No problem. Especially because he knows that any bigger reaction would probably have Minho even more smug than it already does.

"You never asked."

"But you did and-"

"And?"

Deep sigh, reciting his favorite prayer in his head to stay focused, stay calm.

"Minho, how old are you and what brings you to camp this year?"

Minho once again just grins back extra infuriatingly smugly, shoves his bag aside and drops onto his bed, one leg propped up into some inappropriate manspreading position Jisung finds highly unnecessary. He most certainly does not stray from still looking the man in the face. He does not want to look anywhere else on him after all.

"Twenty one and was sent here by my parents. Let's just say there's lots of shit at stake and me being sent here for some healing position as the second young supervisor next to pastor Han's son was their one and only condition set for me after a particularly unforgettable situation of mine they involuntarily got to experience as well. Wouldn't be here otherwise though because I have better shit to do than this.", he says, leans further back, but makes sure to still be looking at Jisung in the process. What a dick.

He keeps the talking and general interactions with Minho to a minimum after that. But Minho does not try too hard either, just stays separate to the others at most times, minding his own business. Despite him coming here to help Jisung out, become a better person in the process, find his way back to god along the way. So on day two of camp after successfully avoiding him for the rest of the past day, Jisung decides to approach him again, despite all the attempts of that little voice in his head to just leave the guy be, enjoy camp without his meddling. But Jisung wants to make pastor Park proud. He wants him to tell Jisung's father how wonderful his son is, wants to make his parents look at him with the most pride parents could ever feel for their only child.

He finds Minho leaning against a tree outside, fishing rod in his hands. He sits a whole lot away from the kids and teenagers Jisung is helping to look after ever since he legally became an adult himself and could not attend camp as a mere camp goer anymore. He and Felix would always talk about signing up for the position as additional supervisors instead once the time came, then share a hut and have the best time. But Jisung, despite missing his friend so much, cannot blame him at all for skipping their yearly trip this time to go to Australia to visit his family and a friend he had been reconnecting and nonstop calling with lately. Their work vacation times only happened to work in this particular time slot this year and perfectly fit into the post-graduation celebration mood Felix was most certainly still in. But Jisung knows how much Felix loves and cares for his family and had been so sad when they were not able to fly in and be there for the actual ceremony. It is to be expected that he would try to see them once given the chance to. Jisung would not want it any other way either.

His new roommate is far from being all lively and sweet and funny like Felix is and that is fine. Because everyone is different and god created every single person with the most love and care, intended for them to be different, not the same. But approaching Minho is a hurdle he finds himself struggling to overcome every single time. The guy is just too intimidating, dangerous. He has to be. No matter how calm and soft he actually looks right now, seemingly at peace while sitting in his very own spot to fish. For just a second, when stopping in his own tracks to observe, Jisung wonders if there is more to Minho than his mean and overly serious side. The one that probably only cares about himself.

It must be the leather jacket, Jisung thinks. A cliche, if nothing else. Honestly, in a way, Minho feels like he came straight out of some American high school movie. The bully, dressed like he most certainly rides a motorcycle, might even be a part of those gangs, maybe one of the ones that are somehow involved with drugs. The delinquent who was sent to church camp because his parents are hoping to cure him of whatever it is that has tempted him to do whatever the fuck he did to get here.

He would be lying if he said he did not want to know what it is. Especially because he really needs to know just why the man keeps staring at him, looking at him with that dark gaze of his. Dangerous, he thinks. Because Minho looks at him like no one has ever looked at him before. Jisung does not have any enemies. He cannot think of anyone who dislikes him. Minho is a first and as long as he does not know why he is here, simply not knowing, is what scares him even more.

It almost feels a little ironic to him that the one time Minho is actually minding his very own business without sparing a single one of his intense glances at Jisung, the younger is the one to seek him out. Purposely so, with the very intention of trying again to just talk, maybe befriend him even, show Minho how nice it is to find god, let him help, lead the way into a brighter future than where Minho might end up if left unsupervised.

Jisung is determined to try what he can. His parents did not raise a quitter after all. So he gathers all his courage and approaches Minho, far enough away from the others to catch him without risking any negative consequences for either of them depending on what they might talk about or not, yet still close enough to have the other supervisors see them if they tried to. Or be heard if Jisung screamed out loud enough.

"Can I sit?", he asks, voice not coming out as loudly or harshly as it could have, but Jisung is proud of his mostly gentle, moderately loud and somewhat confident attempt at getting closer.

Minho looks up at him instantly, does not visibly startle, but looks surprised for a moment, blinks repeatedly in a far more innocent expression than what Jisung thought he would ever even be capable of showing. It does not stay for long though. Because the corners of Minho's lips twitch soon after, the smallest teasing grimace directed right at the younger of the two. But Jisung will not let that deter him.

"It's a public space. Sit if you want to.", Minho says, "But don't be too loud. Not that I will catch anything around here in the first place, but let a man hope."

He nods, sits down beside him and does not know what else to do or say for a solid three minutes of silence afterwards. Jisung was quite honestly not even expecting Minho to be okay with him staying. He thought he would be sent off, maybe a comment or two thrown after him as well about how someone like Minho would never want to hang out with someone like Jisung. Not here at camp and not outside of it either.

"The weather is nice today, isn't it?", he blurts out then, squeezes his eyes shut right after to take a deep breath, curse himself in his head for saying the lamest thing possible. But to his surprise, Minho actually laughs, no... giggles? in response. He seems delighted, smiles so brightly when the sound bubbles out of him and Jisung can only stare back at him, wondering how the man could look so soft in addition to already being far more handsome than the majority of males he has come across in life. He would argue about the number one position probably being between Minho and Felix, whom, Jisung had thought to be one of the best looking people in probably all of the country at the very least. But with Felix having every single quality of his unmatched in lovability, he thinks he very much deserves the top spot in Jisung's made up handsomeness ranking. It does not matter if Minho suddenly became the biggest saint, saved half the world or whatnot, but he will always be in second place at the very best regardless.

But that is just Jisung and his nervous existence, drifting off for no valid reason. None that make sense to him at least.

"Out of all the things you could have said to start a conversation, first thing you could think of was the weather?", he asks and Jisung has to clear his throat to guarantee that he will be able to reply without any betrayal from his voice.

"I mean, it's a start, isn't it? What else would I start with?", he asks, "Sorry I'm not interesting enough to talk about more exciting stuff."

But despite all expectations, Minho does not laugh this time. He just stares at Jisung in that intense way of his. The one Jisung does not know how to explain other than it boring right through him with no issues at all.

"I find you plenty interesting, Han Jisung."

Why on earth that makes Jisung's chest feel strangely tight, said in a low tone and with that soft smile, he does not think he could ever properly explain. But it is progress and Jisung will take what he can get.

"Then... how about we start over?"

"Huh? In what way?"

"I don't know... I guess I would like to try and be friends?"

"With me?"

"Yah! I am talking to you after all, not anyone else. It's just us here.", Jisung says, watches intently when Minho nods, seems to contemplate his answer. He nods again soon after, more determined and hums approvingly. Jisung immediately perks up, smiles brighter than he thought he ever would for Minho. "Really?"

"Yeah. I'm willing to try, church boy.", Minho says, looks him up and down once again even though Jisung is convinced he could probably very accurately draw him already or describe him to someone who can, details and all, just by how often he looks at Jisung. The worst of all is that Jisung is not used to this in any way whatsoever, from literally any person. So excuse his awkward self from flustering like a girl in first grade. "Though I doubt our interests will align too much to form any lasting bond, no?"

"No? Well, there has to be something. I'm sure of it."

"Mhm, doubt it."

"Hey!"

"As if you like anything other than your Bible lesson bullshit."

"Minho.", he says in a warning tone, not amused at all, "You can be a dick and all, but don't insult our beliefs and the lord like this. Where does your negativity regarding all of this even come from? You're at church camp. You must have at least believed at some point."

"Don't drag me into this. There's no us in this context. I might have been raised in a more or less extremely religious household, but just because my parents believe in your god, does not mean I do.", Minho states, sighs, gathers his fishing equipment. He must have given up for good. "God has never done me any good, Jisung. Why would I believe in some made up entity whose followers do not even accept me for who I am. Nor will they ever. I've always had to fend for myself, find my way despite knowing my parents would never be on my side, regardless. It's a lonely world and even if God was real, the people worshipping her would still keep me far away from any sort of respects payed to her apart from getting people to moan out her name or title or whatever when I fuck them. Consider it my service."

Jisung is speechless for several seconds, eyes probably as wide as saucers. At least it feels like that is his expression. The amount of sheer disrespect from Minho makes it so hard to want to keep trying to push through the total of three weeks of camp they would have to get through. Jisung made it through one night. Fuck. Far too many left to go.

"First of all, her? How-"

"Jisung, if there is any entity out there as powerful and almighty as people claim god to be, said entity better be female. No man should have that much power."

"You do know that you should not try to give god a face or physical identity? Neither should you be using his name in vain. Or speak so crudely about said action, in context of what I am assuming is supposed to be about pre-marital coitus and-" Minho bursts out laughing, so loud and for so long, so genuine that for just a moment and while watching him in his fit of genuine positivity, Jisung forgets what they were even talking about. Just for a moment, he cannot seem to recall at all what it was Minho said that made him angry, why it even made him angry or what Jisung was even trying to say in response. But again, just for a moment and until Minho speaks through his laughing fit, manages to finally talk clearly once he ends the outburst with a drawn out sigh, audible with an 'ahhh' right at the very end.

"Pre-marital coitus?", he repeats, chuckles again right after, "What are you, huh? Some fifty year old virgin? Who even says any of that at eighteen?", he continues, grins stupidly as if somewhat endeared by Jisung, who can feel some kind of strong heat in his cheeks that simply have to have tinted in an almost embarrassingly deep shade of pink. "See? I told you. Plenty interesting. Funny without trying to be."

"I'm- I'm not-"

"Anyway.", he interrupts this time, "Sorry for offending you, but it's a sensitive topic for me. It's already bad enough I am being punished by having to spend three weeks in what is absolute hell for someone like me, but constantly having to join activities having to do with literally everything I don't give a shit about, does not necessarily help my mood. All I need to do is to get through this stupid camp period, then pretend to be all cured when my parents come to pick me up on the last day and I'll be fine."

"What-"

"So I'll make a deal with you.", Minho interrupts yet another time. Jisung has to bite the inside of his cheek to hold back from showing his frustrations once again. He wonders if Minho knows how infuriating his constant interruptions are to Jisung. Maybe he is doing it on purpose. "I'll stop openly shitting on your beliefs anymore, if you stop talking to me about all of it outside of those activity things. I need someone around here who won't get on my nerves. Will have to deal with that enough when I'm in the car with my parents for several, probably never ending hours."

Jisung finds out when entering their shared hut after dinner that same night that they both share a love for anime and Jisung ends up getting so lost rambling on and on about his most recent watch that he almost forgets how intimidated he should probably still feel by Minho.

Within the following two weeks of sharing a hut and his favorite summer activity with the guy, Jisung discovers that talking to Minho is actually quite lovely. He got used to his humor, the inappropriate remarks and the intense stares. All to an extent where he can even laugh about them sometimes. Minho holds back on making too many comments about Jisung's confession outside of actual mass and themed group activities he reluctantly, yet diligently joins and in return, Jisung helps him through them. Though Jisung does find it quite lovely to see that despite not sharing anyone's beliefs like he probably and most certainly should as a supervisor at church camp, Minho does get along particularly well with the younger kids. They love him, actually and Jisung cannot even blame them for it because the guy is showing his soft and nice side a lot more around them than he does in front of anyone else. And whenever he sees Minho like that, Jisung catches himself staring too. Does not notice actually until Minho does first, gives him a somewhat flustered, possibly very embarrassed little wave or a nod, depending on his level of embarrassment in that moment and Jisung returns the gesture, feels his cheeks hurting from all the smiling he must have done up to that point.

Minho is really not at all like Jisung thought he was, apparently. Because he proved already, more than once at that, that he does have a good side to him. He picks up after Jisung in their hut when Jisung does not get to do so himself, turns off his lights earlier when reading, claiming to be done already anyway when he is really just doing so because he knows Jisung needs to sleep and cannot do so with the lights turned on. He gets him his coffee and breakfast ready in the morning, all just the way he likes it the most as well because he remembers from the first morning they decided to go to the dining hall together. And now he even finds out the guy sneaks out during lunchtime, a few minutes before it officially ends, every single day, consistently, to play with the stray cats before all the camp participants would swarm around and have them hiding away as a result.

Can the guy really be so bad if this is what he does while around Jisung and the others?

Not to mention that they talk. A lot. Well, mainly Jisung and Minho listens, maybe gives the occasional hum or actual reply, even little rambles and proper sentences once he gets lost in a topic he finds particularly interesting. Jisung actually finds himself enjoying Minho's company so much that once their third and last week together starts, he is already dreading for it all to be over. Yet for the very first time, it is not just because camp itself is almost over. No, Jisung can very much say that he already knows he will miss having Minho around, talking to him, eating with him, working with him. Everything. Minho might be a pretty private person and does not necessarily tell Jisung too many details about his life or any at all about the exact reason he came to camp (Jisung did not directly ask either, so that one is partially on him) but Jisung knows enough about Minho himself to very honestly say that he likes him. A lot. Not having his new friend around anymore will not be easy for him. Jisung is too emotional of a guy to just be okay with it. No extra feelings.

But he is too afraid to just ask Minho about a possible after. To the point where his constant worrying and the more quiet state of his self does not stay unnoticed for too long. Not when his current closest person, as sad as it may sound to call him that after just two weeks that feel like at least half a lifetime, is as observant and Minho as Lee Minho. The guy who makes it harder and harder for Jisung to understand just what he could have done that was grave enough to send him to church camp against his will. At the age of twenty at that. There are two years between them, as Jisung has found out. Jisung just graduated high school and will turn nineteen not long after camp, then start university a month later to study law, just like his parents have wanted him to. Minho will turn twenty one shorty after the semester starts, refuses to tell Jisung what he studies though and what university he is going to. Jisung decides not to tell him either. Just to be a little shit.

"You're awfully quiet today, Jisung. Even more in your head than usual.", Minho says, speaks into the dark a little while after he has turned off his little light and apparently used the silence as an invitation to at least try and understand what is up with him today. "Are you okay?"

Jisung really tries to speak up like a normal person, like the adult he knows he is. But all he can manage is a choked out whimper, followed by silence and a few deep breaths to gather himself, close his eyes, not be absolutely and ridiculously emotional. Minho gives him all the time he needs and the fact that Jisung can literally feel that being the case, means so much to him. So much more than Minho might ever know.

"It's stupid.", he mumbles, almost incoherently so. But Minho hears him regardless. It stays silent for another beat, in which Jisung actually even hopes Minho might have given up and fallen asleep or something, just so he could let his pitiful emotions out and cry silently on his bed like the man he is.

Much to his surprise though, Minho's little light turns on with an audible click. Jisung looks over to the other side of the room, locks eyes with his hyung and the gentle expression on his face. Hard and unreadable to anyone else, he is sure. But to him it is no longer. He has gotten to a stage of easily distinguishing nuances of Minho's expressions. Most of them are easy for Jisung to read now, to understand. Not all of them though. Not yet, he thinks.

"Come here.", Minho says, scoots over, a bit further towards the wooden wall of their shared hut, then grabs his blanket and lifts it just enough for Jisung to understand. It should make him feel ashamed how he wastes not a single second to get out of his own bed, grab only his pillow to take with him and place next to Minho's, just before he slides right into the already warmed spot in his bed that was freed just for him. Minho puts the blanket over him, tucks him in properly and pulls him closer, right there against himself, an arm around the younger to not only hold, but keep him close. Jisung just lets it happen. Gladly so. It feels surprisingly nice to be so close to Minho. Though Jisung figures it makes sense he would like the general closeness, considering he and Felix are always hugging or cuddling or close in other wholesome best friend type of ways. But Minho is different. Should be less warm, less safe, less welcoming. "Did something happen?", he asks. Jisung shakes his head. "Then... do you want to talk about it? It's okay if you need time or don't want to say anything at all even. Just wanted to let you know that the option is there and I won't judge you for it. No matter what it is."

"Thank you, Minho. I appreciate it.", he replies, mind racing, not sure at all how to settle enough to just do something as simple as asking the guy for his number, figure out if he even wants to keep talking to him later. Post camp. But would he not make it really fucking awkward if Minho did not want to keep in touch? Yes. If he asked him now and Minho said no, Jisung would have to awkwardly stride back to his bed, sleep by himself in the then very much uncomfortable silence, then proceed to very uncomfortably exist around Minho for the rest of the week. No. He does not want that. He will not ruin things between them so soon. Not when he can just ask Minho another time about staying in touch. "Don't wanna talk about it tonight."

He whispers the last sentence, feels Minho stiffen around him, just the slightest bit before he sighs out, breath tickling Jisung's skin. That is how close they  are. Closer than they have ever been within their two weeks of bonding.

"Then don't.", Minho says, arm leaving its position around Jisung for a moment. A moment so short that Jisung's fear of sudden abandonment is most certainly very dramatic, totally misplaced. But he keeps himself from saying anything possibly far too embarrassing, does not even notice how he is the one stiffening very noticeably now. All Minho does is to reach towards the light switch again though, because as soon as he has turned off the light, his arm finds and returns to its previous spot around Jisung. The younger relaxes instantly, melts right into Minho's warm embrace, even snuggles a little bit closer, face buried in his firm chest. Minho absentmindedly, carefully glides his fingers through Jisung's hair. Just a little, not too much. But Jisung loves the feeling, drifts off so quickly, almost completely effortlessly so. "Good night, Jisung."

He cannot even say it back. That is how fast he is gone.

The next morning, it feels like something is different than it was before. In what way, Jisung is not so sure about. He just knows that something about that morning is not what any previous morning had been like up until now. He doubts that Minho sleeping soundly by his side, halfway on top of him and completely at peace, face snuggled and smushed against Jisung's chest is anything like what they had before. One glance at the clock inside their hut and despite there only being maybe five minutes at most before they should start getting ready, Jisung cannot get himself to wake Minho up.

He does the same thing Minho did the night before, lets his fingers glide into his hair and gently massages his scalp. Minho lets out a satisfied hum, tightens his grip around Jisung and starts to mumble incoherent little phrases against the skin of his collarbones, breath tickling ever so slightly. It makes him giggle before he can stop it and Minho wakes up in the process, much to Jisung's dismay.

Though, rather than pulling away completely, he simply lifts his head to stare into Jisung's wide eyes, his own still squinted from literally just having woken up, he just lets out a deep breath and drops right back down. Jisung blinks stupidly into the room.

"We need to get ready.", he blurts out, feels a puff of air against his skin again, this time due to Minho's amusement.

"Yeah, yeah. Just give me a second to properly wake up, little baby." He almost chokes on air at that last comment, wants to argue but has a finger on his lips before he can do so, Minho shifting once again right after to prop himself up on his unoccupied arm, hover over Jisung and look right down into his eyes. Jisung is stunned to silence with just that. "Shh no complaints so early in the morning. Besides, you were the one who came into my bed and actually stayed. Aren't we practically engaged at this point or something, honey?"

Needless to say that Jisung thinks Minho deserves all the slaps he gives him against his arms and chest for the most part. And he will not admit to Minho at any point in time ever that there is no sound Jisung likes to hear more from him than his genuine laughter.

He still kicks the guy out of his own bed and turns his back towards his presence in the room while Minho is getting ready. Minho does not argue about Jisung's unserious sulking at all. Just gets himself dressed and ready fairly quickly and tells Jisung to take his time, but not too much of it either, so he could still somewhat sanely go about his day. When Jisung walks into the dining area several minutes later to an already perfectly set tray of coffee and breakfast like every other morning too, the young man cannot at all suppress the bright smile anymore that creeps itself through despite him having planned on pretending to still be all sulky when he walks in.

Minho almost makes him burst out laughing during the kids crafting activity in the afternoon and Jisung attacks his belly with little squirrel stabs as Minho likes to call them, as his very much deserved punishment.

That evening, Minho does not even have to ask. Jisung had left his pillow next to Minho's when he made the bed before leaving the hut in the morning and in an almost completely automatic manner at that, as if it is the most normal thing to do, Jisung simply gives him a small, pleading glance when he pretends to maybe go get his pillow, just to have Minho opening the blanket once again to let the giddy young man slip right in.

Jisung is up first again, does not startle Minho awake this time, but looks at his peaceful sleeping face, fingers in his hair again while he quietly hums a tune, sings a little bit, quietly and calmly. Just to pass time better and not disturb Minho all too much. He only stops to grab his phone and check the time on there this time, then take a look at the schedule for the day while he is at it.

"Why'd you stop?", Minho asks, morning voice still far from reaching is regular state.

"Oh, sorry. I'll continue.", Jisung apologizes, resumes his scalp scratches. "Better? Hm, honey?"

Minho chuckles against his chest, his remaining grin far too evident as well. Even without Jisung looking directly.

"Don't threaten me with a good time, Jisung.", he says, earns back the cutest little laugh, if anyone were to ask him about it later. "But I meant the singing part. Was that your way of majorly hinting towards your Uni major?"

"Ah no, not at all. Music has always been a big thing for me, but I couldn't- no. I am not studying it."

"Mm. Pity.", Minho tells him, grumbles when he stretches right after to finally sit himself up, look at Jisung when he adds: "Your voice is beautiful. What a waste, to not do anything with it."

Left a blushing, flustered mess, the younger of the two stumbles through the most embarrassing thank you, then leaves his grinning roommate on the bed while rushing right into their little bathroom to get himself ready first. Minho is already dressed by the time Jisung is done and enters the bathroom next.

Minho stays closer to him today than he usually does. They are always by each other's side, but after two nights of peacefully sleeping in each other's arms, Minho seems to have found and released his physically affectionate side. His once intense and somewhat dark and scary stares have turned into a soft, almost affectionate gaze that keeps finding Jisung all throughout the day. His arm wraps around his waist, rests around his shoulders at the most random times and once during prayers, Jisung is surprised to feel a foreign weight on his shoulder from Minho resting his head on there for just a moment.  His chest does that strange squeeze again that it has been doing for a little while now and Jisung figures it must be comparable to having a pet cat that suddenly approaches you out of nowhere to come and cuddle. Why else would it have the power to get him so soft?

They might have had their little ups and downs in mainly their first few days, possibly almost the entirely of their first week together, but once they figured each other out, Jisung was happy to see that they only seemed to go further and further up, steadily so. It is nice to have Minho around. So, so nice. He really wonders even how strange it would be to just go ahead and ask Minho where he lives. Just so they could keep hanging out, but also possibly have more sleepovers too, just like the previous two nights as well. Warm and comfortable in each other's arms. So different to cuddling with Felix. Minho kind of makes Jisung feel small in a nice way. One that makes him want to curl up against the guy and let himself be hugged, no responsibilities and worries there at all, just because of how easily Minho makes them all disappear. He is different than anyone else in Jisung's life, yes, but with each passing day he keeps thinking that maybe, just maybe, Minho being different is exactly what he needed. Another perspective, another personality altogether.

Minho never fails to surprise him and it took a little over two weeks with the guy in his life for Jisung to see that despite loving his life, his friends, his faith he has been holding onto forever, his safe place - just how boring it all was as well. Nice, but so incredibly dull, repetitive, stuck in a colorless spot. It took someone more adventurous, someone who wants to see the world, for Jisung to finally see the appeal in it as well. To get out, see more, feel more, experience more. He cannot wait to bring it up to Felix. Maybe join him the next time he goes to Australia to visit his family and Chris, the friend Jisung cannot wait to meet in person either.

It is during a visit by a famous author who once lost his way, but found it again and then wrote a book about the whole journey, that Jisung really feels Minho's newfound affinity for him the very most. Because while the man is reading out loud, the camp participants all seated in front of him on a cushion each, Minho and Jisung are seated in the very back where they can see everyone perfectly. Jisung does not even notice Minho moving at first, cannot hear anything at all and focuses on his task and the story he is being read, until he can feel a presence behind him, twitches in surprise, but successfully keeps in the pitiful whimper he knows would have come out otherwise.

He sees Minho's legs first, appearing on either side of Jisung's, just before he scoots himself closer, pelvis against Jisung's first, then a strong pair of arms around his waist, chest pressing against his back and chin resting on his shoulder. He sighs out, the puff of air against the side of his neck making goosebumps prickle over Jisung's skin. But he takes no time at all to let himself fall into Minho's embrace, let himself be held close. And if he closes his eyes for a moment to fully relax against him, then that is completely fine as well.

"Jisung, can I talk to you for a minute?", pastor Park asks when he approaches the two of them later, in the process of leading the younger participants towards the author and out of the room once they have gotten their book copies signed or personal questions answered. Minho gives Jisung a quick glance, one that makes it clear he might be okay with Jisung leaving his side, but would still prefer having him close and would also make up an excuse for him any day if needed. But Jisung will be fine. Of course. There is nothing to worry about at all. So he gives Minho a small smile and follows the pastor into a more private corner of the room.

"Is everything alright?", Jisung asks, a little worried he might have done something wrong after all. But the pastor just gives him a soft smile and puts his hand on his shoulder, giving it the smallest, yet very appreciative squeeze.

"I'm proud of you, son. So proud, you know that?", he asks, smiles brighter now. An expression Jisung very gladly returns, making it known that he is indeed excited to hear such words from his father's closest friend. "I still remember you as the adorable little boy you once were. Still remember how your father and I were talking about your future, about how special we know you are. And this might be your first time as an actual supervisor at camp, but you are doing the most wonderful job. Especially with Minho."

"Huh?", he dumbly lets out, almost forgot that he had a very particular task regarding Minho. One he has not fulfilled in the slightest. Because he and Minho might have gotten closer, might be good friends at this point, but Jisung has done absolutely nothing to bring him closer to god. Not at all. Minho has stayed where he was, while Jisung existed by his side, went with the flow and decided to just let go and enjoy camp with someone he found himself liking once he let go of all the prejudice he had after judging him by his appearance alone. All Jisung has done was to help Minho blend in during activities, perfect his role in front of others, just for him to deflate and gather new energy as soon as they were out of sight again.

"To be quite honest with you, while believing in you from the very beginning, I was a bit worried at first. You looked a bit scared, intimidated. I was worried he might try to pull you towards the wrong side at first, but if anyone could have had a positive impact on him, it would have been you. You did great, boy. Truly. I can feel Minho's growing sincerity, the willingness to get and stay on the right path. That eulogy writing practice task the other day? He moved me to tears. I believed, prayed that he would get better. But to get this far? Wow. Son, you will get far in life. If you managed to turn an especially hard case around in the matter of weeks, I have no doubt you will become a wonderful attorney as well. You have a talent for people, boy.", he praises and praises. At least Jisung thinks they are praises. They are meant as such at least. No matter how confused they have Jisung. How at a loss of words he is in ways the pastor probably interprets as him simply being overwhelmed by the sudden expression of pride from the old man. He pats Jisung on the shoulder once more, smiles with the proudest, fatherly smile. "Keep up the good work, son. There is a special place in heaven for boys like you."

When the man leaves, Jisung stays back, still frozen in the exact spot he has been in ever since he was led out and away from the others. The words he just heard are replaying in his head and he tries to understand, reminds himself of what he had promised to do, thinks of how camp progressed, how Minho must have really blended in so well that even the pastor believed him to have been cured of whatever it is that he suffered from. Whatever it is that made his parents send him away, have enough leverage to get a legally adult young man to attend church camp against his will, despite him certainly having had the chance to simply refuse and not go at all. He was so impressed. Jisung wonders why. Nothing could have been so terrible. Not with Minho being such a good person, a great guy who simply chose to be an atheist for reasons Jisung may never understand. But he chose that path for himself and as long as he is an actual, decent member of society, Jisung thinks there is nothing to worry about. Not with Minho. Anyone but him.

"Scared, huh?", he hears from behind him, twitches at the coldness, the deep tone. But he cannot recall the last time he felt like this upon hearing his voice, turns around reluctantly, staring right back into those dark eyes, glazed with very deep hurt. He looks at him like a man betrayed and Jisung's chest hurts terribly from the sight, the feeling. They stand a few meters apart, not far enough for him not to see the brooding in his expression, the hurt, the darkness. Yet far enough for him not to be able to just reach out and touch him or close the gap between them all too quickly. "Intimidated."

He whispers the last word, rips Jisung right out of his frozen state to finally stop being useless and say something.

"Minho, it's not- that's not- I don't think that way about you."

"Mhm. I could tell by the cuddling last night that you are at least not scared of me anymore.", he scoffs, "And here I thought you became my friend because you might have noticed I am not as bad as I am sure you thought I was when we first met. But knowing now that you used the one thing you knew would work to get me on the right path, says more about you than it does about me. There really is a special place in heaven for boys like you, isn't it?"

Without another word, he turns around and leaves, quick, determined steps away from Jisung, who once again needs a second to snap out of it before he finds himself hurrying after him, rushing to find Minho and make sure he does not pull away from him any more than he already has. Sudden dread fills him, the images of Minho's cold, deeply hurt expression making his chest squeeze painfully for the first time. But the pain is different than usual. This is the very first time it hits him after an actual bad situation. And why in the world he is panicking this much because of a guy he met during camp, one he was probably not supposed to see again afterwards anyway, is beyond him too.

Just the thought of losing Minho, not to him rejecting any attempt of Jisung's to possibly stay in touch, but to actually having disappointed him because of something is breaking his heart in all the wrong ways. His heartbeat is all over the place, breathing heavy, eyes watering, trying to hold back tears because he does not even know why Minho cares so much. Why he got so upset over something that Jisung thinks is not even that bad. Especially considering the way they so naturally ended up getting closer over time.

He finds Minho in their hut, sitting on his bed and with his phone in his hands, the camp grounds mostly cleared of people anyway due to them being in the dining area for dinner. Neither Minho nor Jisung could eat anything right now anyway.

"Minho, please-"

"Leave me alone. I don't want to see you right now.", Minho says back, calm voice with a venomous undertone. One Jisung is sure he can only hear so clearly because he can feel it seep through his skin, infect his bloodstream.

"This is my hut too."

"Oh yeah? This is my bed. Didn't stop you from sleeping on it though.", Minho snips, then grabs Jisung's pillow from beside him and throws it right past him and onto his bed. From the mere sound of it hitting the mattress, Jisung is more than glad to not have been the one it landed on instead. "Now go away for a second. Let me calm down enough to then proceed to ignore your existence in peace afterwards until camp ends. Only a few days left to go. Easy."

"But I don't want you to ignore me."

"Why? Because you're not getting any scholarship recommendations or some shit like that if your charity project fails?", Minho seethes. Jisung's face falls impossibly more. It hurts, how could he just-

"I don't know what you're even talking about, Minho. You're not a charity project to me."

"You knew, didn't you? He told you why I'm here and you faked everything to cunningly coax me into this fake friendship foreplay situation with you. And my stupid existence just fell for it too."

"Minho what in the world are you talking about?", Jisung desperately asks, almost full on whines in frustration at simply not being able to understand at all what is happening, why Minho would say all of those things over something so small. Something that could be so easily explained, if only he would let Jisung speak properly for a moment. "I wasn't faking anything. Everything was real. Our entire friendship was. We- don't shake your head. Why are you shaking your head? Why would you still look at me like you don't believe me?"

And then Minho just starts to laugh, stabbing into Jisung's chest over and over and over. Who would have known that a sound so beautiful, one he enjoys to hear the very most, could ever hurt so much?

"Ahhh this is ridiculous.", he breathes out, wipes a tear from under his eye from how hard he was laughing, "You wanted to be my friend to get me closer to god, then what? Gave it up because it didn't work and you wanted to just be my friend?", he continues, has Jisung dumbfounded, nodding quickly because it pretty much sums it all up, roughly so. "Then you really don't know why I'm here, do you? You wouldn't have gotten close to me if you did. Wouldn't have crawled into my bed all excited and shit. Of course not. It all makes sense now, hm?"

"Then does it matter what it is? I would be lying if I said I never wanted to know why you were sent here - that I'm not curious. Of course I wondered about it, but if you didn't want to tell me, then why would I make you? I approached you initially because the pastor asked me to, yes, I won't lie about that. But after you made it clear that you didn't want to talk about any of what camp is actually about, I was hoping to at least get closer to you, help you adapt, get through camp and maybe make a friend along the way. Everything I did was because I wanted to. Because I like you for who you are. I didn't trick you, Minho. Never. I really want to be your friend and I am not gaining anything from it scholarly either like you think I do."

Minho shakes his head again.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, sweetheart.", he quietly says, leans back until the back of his head is resting against the wooden wall behind him, phone already discarded somewhere onto the mattress at some point. Jisung does not even know when. The pet name makes him gulp, in fear or something else, he does not know. But he does not give in anyway, does not back down now. Not when he has something to prove to Minho. "I'll tell you."

"Huh?", he asks, dumbly blinking back, because he really wants to know. So bad that he has been thinking about it from the start, let himself be haunted by constant wonder, just to now be right here, answer served on a silver platter. "You don't have to-"

"I want to.", Minho insists, focuses on Jisung's every twitch, his every move, every tiniest reaction, "Because I need you to understand and leave me alone. Camp is almost over and I don't need you to survive or anything. So I'd rather have you back off now before I need to deal with any extra bullshit. I don't want to be your friend, Jisung."

"Don't underestimate me and my care for you.", Jisung insists, very confidently so, doing his best to hide his pain from Minho straight up telling him he does not want to be his friend. "Tell me if you want, but I won't change my mind about wanting to be your friend."

"Okay then. Listen to me and see if you change your mind."

"I won't."

An amused huff, Minho shifting again to scoot onto the edge of his bed, sit there to be just a bit closer, possibly stand up if he needs to. Jisung does not back down. Will not. No matter what Minho might or might not tell him.

"A few months ago my mother came home earlier from work than I had expected her to, walked into my room to let me know about whatever, but ended up discovering me in a rather unconventional scene of - to say it in your words - pre-marital coitus.", he explains, "Everything changed after that. They treated me like I was someone else entirely, had someone come in and perform an exorcism on me, my room, trying to get all the demons to leave. I wasn't willing to bend or give in to their demands and ended my part of the whole thing saying that once I leave for uni, I am leaving for good. They shut down all my money sources before I could get to them and gave me an ultimatum. Either I leave for good like I said, but with no financial kickstart or I am willing to get cured, fight for our family, our reputation and have full support."

"But... lots of people engage in sexual activities before marriage nowadays and I'm sure your parents are aware of that too. Either they are just extremely conservative or catching you in the act was just far too much for them to handle. Why would that be reason enough to send you here? Or to make me not want to be your friend anymore?"

Minho stands up, steps closer, menacingly nearing himself almost, as if he plans to intimidate Jisung to the simple point of pulling away on his own accord, finally fold and give up and leave Minho alone like he wishes to.

"It wasn't normal maybe, in the eyes of others, like my parents. You.", he says with a lowered tone, puts his hands on either side of Jisung's waist in a firm grip, keeps eye contact the entire time. One hand glides towards Jisung's lower back to pull him closer, have him stumbling, falling right against Minho's chest with an audible puff of air being punched out of his lungs at the impact. His other hand moves up, rests on Jisung's jaw to tilt it up a bit, see if his eyes are following, if the boy himself is still focusing as he should be doing. His thumb moves to rest just beneath Jisung's bottom lip, eyes dropping to the actual pair for just a moment. "It was wet, messy, loud...", he trails off, lets the hand on Jisung's lower back glide down just a little, enough to dip just half the lengths of his fingers past the hem of Jisung's denim pants. Jisung's eyes widen instantly, he twitches very noticeably, gasps, hands both tightly fisting Minho's shirt at chest height. "...and from the very back."

"B-but still... why would that be so..."

"Because it's not about the act in itself, but who it was with, Jisungie.", Minho says, has Jisung thinking about all sorts of scandalous scenarios. Was it a family friend? A neighbor? A teacher maybe or someone who was already taken at that point? Someone older than him? What woman could possibly be scandalous enough for Minho's parents to fully turn against him? ... unless- "Not a woman. Because I am not romantically nor sexually attracted to those. Not at all. And I kept thinking you might just be too dense, closeted without or while actually knowing and I don't know what's worse to be honest. Because you're so fucking pretty, Jisung. Had my mind picture full on sappy future scenarios with you, falling asleep, waking up, making you mine. Everything." He trails off, lets his lids drop, inspects Jisung's face inch by inch as if he cannot believe either that he is right here. Jisung's mind is simply struggling to keep up completely. This is all just far too surreal. His heart is going crazy in his chest, panic or something else entirely. "I don't want to be your friend, but the one person that knows you like no one else, treasures you, holds you... loves you."

It happens before he can fully catch up. Because Minho leans in while lost in his daze, the sight of Jisung's pretty lips, pink and plump and looking like they are so fucking soft. Because of course they would be with how regularly they are being chapped. Minho has kept track of it this entire time, but acts without thinking regardless when he simply presses his lips against Jisung's, is just about to move and press closer, when he snaps right back into reality.

Because what the actual fuck is he even doing right now? Kissing Jisung without permission like some asshole. The kind Jisung probably expected him to be when he saw him first. Jisung, who stands frozen still, will probably hate him for this, loathe him, be full on disgusted.

He fucked up. Fucked up big time and he realizes quickly enough before he can do anything even more stupid, try to do things to him that are not as easy to forget about as a kiss.

He pulls away immediately, wide-eyed when staring at nothing in particular, too shocked about his own actions to respond with anything other than immediate and complete withdrawal from Jisung's entire person.

What if Jisung tells someone? The pastor, Mrs Park, his own parents? Minho's? What if he speaks and Minho's future is fully fucked because of one moment of weakness, one moment of him acting like the biggest idiot. His feet carry him automatically. Away from the hut and into the forest without a jacket on his person or any rational thought in mind.

Jisung stays right where he is, frozen, mind racing endlessly even now that he is left alone. But Minho just... he just kissed him! On the lips, not the cheek, head or anywhere else. He gave him a soft, damp peck on the lips and Jisung knows he should feel disgusted, nauseous, should probably let someone know about the assault, the attempt to drag Jisung onto the wrong path instead. But the disgust never comes. And how could it when Minho looked so shocked by his own actions, went from cocky and teasing and defensive to full on shocked, completely pulling away from Jisung to just run away from him.

He has never kissed before and he could hardly call what just happened an actual kiss either. But when Jisung tries to understand where the skip in his heartbeat came from, no matter how shocked he is about it, the choice between fear and something else entirely is rather easy to make.

Not once has he been genuinely scared of Minho. Not after talking to him more, getting closer to him. He did not want him to stay in his life because of any sort of charity project situation and being close to him has always felt different than being close to Felix. Jisung simply never understood why.

Is this it then? Is this how it ends or is it rather what it was always supposed to be? At least he understands Minho now. Because of course he would give up on any sort of connection to the religion his parents have raised him into, knowing that his parents of all people have decided to completely push him away, change him instead of trying to just accept him for who he is. Jisung is not homophobic, he knew that already. Felix has many non-heterosexual friends and has introduced Jisung to a few of them over time. God created everyone, flaws and all. To Jisung that meant that everyone with the sheer ability to love, who does not harm others, has been made right at that. Not that he would ever doubt the art of the lord in human creation, but after spending the past two weeks with Minho, he understands were those that have given up, might be getting their doubts from. Jisung simply believed that even though they all think they do not believe, god would never actually give up on them, guard them in secret.

And when deciding between fear and the unknown of something else entirely, but with Minho, Jisung's possibly far too reckless and ridiculous thoughts leave him with only one reaction that feels right to go with. Once again, reckless and ridiculous. How very fitting.

It is not fully dark yet, but getting there. When Jisung runs after Minho, right into the forest, he cannot care about anything other than his immediate worry about him though. He needs to find him, has to be quick and hopefully do so before it gets dark. He does not call out to him because he worries someone might hear him, then figure out that something is wrong, punish them, punish Minho. But Jisung cannot let that happen.

He probably seems aimless to most and that is because he very much is at first. But it does not take him long at all once he stops for a second to breathe, to actually know where Minho most certainly is.

He finds him sitting by the little stream Minho found once when taking a stroll through the forest by himself, then showing Jisung the following day because he knows how scared Jisung gets inside the forest as soon as it is not fully bright out.

"There you are.", he sighs out, closes his eyes for a moment to breathe again, suppress all that wetness threatening to spill out of him. The relief is immediate though and he is so focused on Minho and that guilty and surprised expression on his face to even properly care about how fucking terrifying the forest is becoming. Gradually so.

But before Minho can speak up, Jisung drops to his knees right beside him and wraps his arms around his shoulders, holds him tight, as if he fears that Minho might just vanish again if he let go of him. So what if that is his main worry right now? Sue him for still acting stupid and possibly against everything he has ever believed in. Openly and in this particular environment that is.

Minho stays right where he is, stiffens in Jisung's desperate hold.

"Why did you come after me? What are you doing in here, Jisung? It's getting dark.", Minho says and despite everything else, no matter how sick it may sound, all he can feel is the immediate relief he feels when he hears the genuine worry for him in Minho's tone. Finally, finally closer to him, closer to what they were.

"I don't- I can't give you any reason that makes sense to me or possibly ever would to you either. But please, Minho. Anything, just don't run away from me again, don't push me away like that.", he begs, wants to hurt himself from the shame he feels for his desperate tone. But as soon as Minho's strong arms wrap around him, clutch him tightly in a desperate hold of his own, there is no space for any shame left at all.

"I'm sorry.", Minho mumbles against Jisung's shirt, the apology muffled terribly by the fabric, the tight embrace. He pulls back afterwards to look Jisung in the eyes. "I'm sorry, Jisung. I acted like a dick. I'm sorry for doubting you and your intentions, but I felt so betrayed that I couldn't see anything else and then I just acted like a child and I fucking -", he stops himself. Jisung cannot stop staring at his face, perfectly sculpted features illuminated just enough to look impossibly more majestic. How could anyone with functioning eyes just look away? "I shouldn't have pushed you into my own hopes and expectations like I did and... I'm sorry I kissed you."

That last one stings more than any of the previous apologies did. So much so that it is the last thing needed to snap apart the lingering string of rationality he still had left. So much so that Jisung cups both of Minho's cheeks and pulls him in, inexperience and lack of proper knowledge simply leading him to place a firm peck square on Minho's lips. He pulls away just as quickly.

"Sorry... I've- I've never... I don't know how to do this.", he apologizes, begs with his gaze, keeps himself close to Minho and just tries to convey what he can to the wide-eyed young man right in front of him whom he hopes knows him enough by now to understand what he wants. What he struggles to convey by himself.

"How to do what, Jisung? Have you- have you not kissed before?", he asks, careful, soft. He is back to being all soft to Jisung, but in a far more heart fluttering and intimate way than before. One that Jisung finds himself leaning into more than he most certainly should. Jisung shakes his head to answer his question, feels Minho's grip around him tighten just a bit, dark eyes keeping him in a chokehold he knows he would not be able to escape. Not now, possibly not ever. Whatever is happening right now will simply proceed to burn itself into his skin, leave marks, scars that would never heal again. Not once before has Jisung wanted something as much as whatever burst of feelings it is that Minho is awakening in him. His irregularly beating heart, his stuttering breath, shaking limbs, tingly twisting gut. "Fuck, baby. You're fucking perfect."

"Min..", all the can whimper out pathetically in response. He feels warm, jittery. And all just by being held close, being looked at like Minho is doing right now, like he means every word, like he wants to change it all, introduce Jisung to a world beyond anything he is familiar with.

"Do you want me to kiss you, Jisung?", he asks and Jisung's brain short circuits, breath getting stuck in his throat. And against all rationality, he nods. Because he does. He does want it. Wants Minho to kiss him, show him how it's done. "Tell me you want it. I want to hear you say it."

He inhales sharply, gulps thickly afterwards. How embarrassing, he thinks. Words he thought he would absolutely never say. To another man at that.

"Y-yes. I want you to kiss me."

Minho does not need more to comply, give in to what he has wanted since day one anyway. But he is determined to make Jisung's first kiss as life-changing as he can. He needs to. Because Jisung matters and Minho cares too much about him not to want him to feel anything but absolutely well taken care of. He knows that he is a virgin, knows Jisung enough to be fully aware that him not having kissed also means that he has most certainly not done anything else yet either. Nothing that goes beyond. Such a waste, he thinks. But all the better to know that he is untouched, yet aching for Minho to change that in at least one way. Minho would give him all the others, if only he asked.

He guides Jisung's hands away from his cheeks, gently holds him by the wrists when he does, makes him wrap his arms around his neck instead. His own hands get into new positions as well, one dropping to his lower back, the other now gently cupping his cheek, thumb reaching out to gently brush over the soft, pink bottom lip of the pair he has only been fantasizing about so far, has only properly felt far too briefly so far. Jisung's glassy eyes stare back at Minho, chest rising and falling quickly in anticipation.

"Last chance to tap out, Jisung.", he tells him, "Tell me you don't want me to kiss you and I will not. But give me the go and I will make it so you can't even think about kissing anyone else ever again.", he continues, luring him in like a siren does to sailors on the sea. Impossible to resist and with a voice as beautiful as the man it is coming out of, the softest gaze, tainted by some dangerous twinkle Jisung would not know the meaning of just yet. But he could very much find out if he continues giving in, keeps falling into Minho's embrace, his warmth. If he just- "Give yourself to me, baby."

His entire system fails upon hearing that final whisper, an offer impossible to resist.

Jisung never felt the need to do anything he was not supposed to. He has never been drunk, stays faithful and nice and does what his parents expect of him. He prays frequently, attends mass, does not play around with any of the girls at church that show interest in him. He has not kissed anyone yet, has not gone further, had originally planned on keeping it that way until meeting the right woman to fully give himself to. He would save his virginity for their wedding night.

Of course he has many people around who live differently, less rules, more freedom. Lots of things Jisung might not ever even consider doing. But not once has he been tempted to do anything his parents or the church would not approve of. Not once has he knowingly sinned. But Minho? Minho is the personification of universal temptation and every single thing one should stay away from, just because of the very likely consequence of getting addicted. Minho is pure sin, dressed all handsome and nice, sent by the devil to get even the strongest believers to crack.

Minho has probably kissed, tasted and bedded many. Only men, considering he said he was not interested in women. And Jisung wonders how he did that, kept it a secret from his parents until it was no longer possible to do so. Maybe he was right after all with his first impression of the guy. Maybe Minho is dangerous after all. Maybe Jisung should have stayed away. Because he would not be in this situation then.

But he could not simply wish to erase the past two weeks with him if the chance arose. Just because it is precious time spent with Minho. Them together, warm cuddles for the past two nights and a feeling of having found someone special. Not to forget that he would absolutely not be in this situation, had he not decided to try and get close to Minho after all.

"Kiss me, Minho.", he tells him again, grasping his shirt tightly, keeping him close, "Please."

Minho tips over the edge with that plea at the end, groans out and closes the gap between them before he starts to fantasize too much, drifts off into places he cannot afford to get lost in right now.  How could he possibly think about how perfect Jisung could be for him, if only he gave them a chance to stay together, let Minho fully take care of him?

Their lips latch onto each other's, perfectly fitting in every single way imaginable. Minho starts off slowly, patiently works Jisung into a rhythm he can easily follow, let himself fall into. They kiss for a while and until Jisung melts into it enough to be all weak, so lost in the entirety of just how fucking incredible kissing - Minho - actually feels. Because he is making it so perfect, is treating him like he wants him more than anything, but at the same time is holding back enough to show him that he treasures him, does not want him to worry about a single thing. Not when they are together.

If that is not the message Minho was trying to convey to him, it is still the one Jisung allows himself to receive.

He whines pathetically when Minho pulls back, tries to dive back in, feel more, taste more. But Minho does not let him. All he does is to give him an endeared little chuckle, then grin so irresistibly. Not mean in any way or proud in a degrading manner. Jisung can tell that just that kiss they shared, that wonderful, incredibly dizzying kiss, means so much to Minho. It only makes Jisung all the more excited as well, all the more greedy, needy.

"Did that feel good, hm sweetheart?", he asks like he didn't just wreck his entire world, like he did not just come crashing into his routine to pull him away, take him to new grounds. But Jisung nods regardless. "Yeah? I'm glad. I liked it too. Like to kiss you. You're so pretty, Jisung. So perfect and all mine."

"Ngh more. Minho, can we kiss again? I want more. Want you to show me."

"Anything.", he whispers, grin turning into a lovestruck smile, grateful. "Anything you want."

He kisses him again, sends his heart into overdrive when he licks against his bottom lip, uses his thumb to help a little, coax his lips apart and slide in right between them. He licks into his mouth, tastes everything Jisung has to give right now, swallows every little moan that manages to slip.

"Thank you.", Jisung gasps against his lips when they part again, kisses him once more, "Thank you, Minho. Feels so good."

Minho's dark eyes are full of affection in addition to something Jisung cannot quite place and every single second of him knowing how wrong it is to want to kiss him again and again, kiss him all night and until the sun comes back up, lips all bruised up and swollen, hard to explain to anyone else reasonably, just turns into full contentment.

"I can show you so much more, baby. So much. You only need to let me.", he promises then, gently brushes a strand of hair behind Jisung's ear, "Say the word and I'll make you see stars."

They kiss again, plea after plea deliriously spoken against the lips of sin, jeans growing tighter and tighter, uncomfortably so. Minho asks him to trust him and Jisung only needs one glance into his eyes to know he would never do anything else, as sad and pathetic as it may seem to think so.

He would usually not be this okay in the forest while dark, the water beside them at least making enough sound to keep the other sounds of nature out of his mind. Those that could possibly sound way scarier. But Minho is doing a pretty great job distracting him as well, kisses down his neck, nibbles and sucks on the delicate skin right there. Jisung arches into his touch, lets himself go, lets himself live.

And Minho cannot believe what is happening either, decides to treasure him in all possible ways, to show him what he can possibly get him to ever feel. He keeps kissing him everywhere he can reach without taking off his clothes because they are still outside and the setting does not call for it. He would also not want to go too far, push Jisung away, risk losing him completely. Not now that he just got him back, got to hold him close, feel his lips against his own, taste his skin.

So with both his hands on the younger's hips, Minho kisses him, sucks on his skin just enough to make him whine and whimper, but not enough to leave marks because he knows better than to be so reckless, helps him shift, then grind down on his thigh. He tells him how pretty he is, how he drives him crazy with those eyes of his, how good he is being.

Jisung is still fully dressed, but Minho's eyes on him, his hot breath against his skin, his lips so gentle, whispering all sorts of praise while he helps him grind, helps him make himself feel good... everything is so unreal. So unreal, but so, so good. He comes with Minho's name on his lips, in the middle of the forest, but held by strong arms, an embrace he does not ever want to get back out of, he decides.

They have to go back eventually though and once Jisung feels like he can properly stand again, Minho helps him back up on his feet and apologizes once he sees his expression twist into disgust, Jisung so uncomfortable from how wet and sticky it is inside his pants. He holds Minho's face to kiss him again, cannot risk him getting worked up, thinking he might have done something Jisung quite possibly regrets. But even though he probably should, Jisung is really not regretting a single thing.

"It's not because of you, Minho. I'm good, I promise. We are.", he tells him watches the doubt in Minho's eyes melt away, watches him nod, "I just really need to get out of these pants as soon as possible. Can't go to sleep like this."

Of course Minho understands, but apologizes regardless for causing him such discomfort in the first place when he could have just waited for them to go back to their hut first. Jisung takes it upon himself to kiss reason back into his pretty head. Minho is not complaining about that.

He walks Jisung back to the hut, hand in hand, then makes sure he is alright when he disappears into the bathroom to clean up and once Jisung comes back out, wearing his pajamas already, Minho is not back yet. He sighs to himself, thinks for a moment, then switches on the light on Minho's side of the room and grabs his own pillow from his bed, the one Minho had thrown there earlier, to place it back to where it was on Minho's bed. He crawls under the sheets afterwards and decides to just wait there for Minho, hopes he will not be kicked out.

When Minho returns to their hut and closes the door right behind him, he freezes upon spotting the pretty boy sitting comfortably on his bed. One look at that hopeful glance, the scene itself, and Minho can only smile back at him warmly.

"Now I won’t accept any complaints because we both follow different rules in life, but I snuck into the kitchen to fetch you something to eat. I figured that after keeping you from eating dinner with everyone else, I should at least get you something proper to consume. So I made us sandwiches."

Needless to say that if he did not already know before, Jisung knows now at the latest that Minho is just far too perfect for honestly anyone's good. They eat their sandwiches on Jisung's bed and spend the night all cuddled close on Minho's.

And when Jisung wakes up in the morning to an almost panicked, worried expression on Minho's handsome face, it only takes a soft smile from him to immediately watch Minho deflate, smile back. But Jisung can tell immediately that he has no issues with Jisung. Minho must have simply worried that Jisung might have regrets now after sleeping over things, having had time to process. But with Jisung cuddling closer to get a few more minutes of warmth before they would have to go on about their days, there is nothing at all for Minho to worry about anymore.

They get ready together this time, share the small bathroom space because they cuddled for too long to each get a time slot this morning and as soon as Jisung has dried his face after brushing his teeth and washing his face, Minho kisses him, short and sweet, smiles softly and leaves him standing there, still stunned for a second, heart skipping a beat before it registers and he smiles brightly, shyly so.

When he finally gets out of the bathroom after gathering his things, Minho has just pulled down his shirt and Jisung finds himself conflicted, thinking thoughts he should not be thinking. Like how he would have seen him shirtless, had he been just a few seconds  faster. How he would have really wanted to.

But he shakes off those thoughts by acting before he can follow up on anything. Minho has his shoes on already by the time Jisung has picked out an outfit for the day and it is Jisung who kisses him this time before sending him out into camp and towards what he knows is an already set breakfast table in the dining area, thanks to Minho simply being absolutely incredible.

The newly occurred change between them is, well, new. New in every way imaginable for Jisung, who cannot seem to get rid of at least some sort of lingering grin all throughout getting dressed and ready to step out of the hut as well. The hut he knows will be the place of secrets for a while. Will be their own little world for at least the next few days. Even more so than before because it is the one place on camp grounds that allows open affection, without anyone else knowing.

Spending a day at camp has never not been great for Jisung. He has always loved coming here and enjoyed activities all the same, not once thinking of them as overly repetitive even though they are pretty similar each year. The main difference this time is that he is one of the supervisors instead of being a regular camp participant and of course, the mere presence of Lee Minho.

Though the two of them rather easily keep up their regular behavior and Jisung is honestly very proud of himself for not making it blatantly obvious that he wants to hide whenever possible, just to kiss Minho again, let himself be held close, maybe learn something new, something that goes beyond kissing and making out or even grinding against his thigh until coming pathetically in his pants. But Minho promised to show him the stars, mentioned before that his only service to god is to have people screaming for him when he fucks them.

Jisung was a good student, a dutiful, respectful young man for as long as he can think. He has never not followed the rules, is the son of a pastor with the best of reputations, knows he will make his parents even prouder than he already has, once he studies law, becomes a defense attorney, one who helps those who need it. He has saved himself for the one person he knows he will marry, has decided that sex should not happen casually. Not to him.

Yet with Minho's words and the feeling of his kisses in mind, he finds himself wondering, imagining. Would Minho get him to scream? In pleasure of course. He told him last night before going to sleep that if Jisung wanted him to, they could take it step by step, with Minho taking one step at a time with him, each following night a new thing. Now, Jisung might have agreed to wanting to do all that, but wonders regardless... how far would they even go? Knowing Minho, as far as Jisung wants to go is probably a safe assumption to make. He knows he would not force him into anything Jisung does not want too, even made Jisung promise to tell him if he wants to stop at any point so they could do just that. But is fucking the end goal? Is it what Minho wants? What he is preparing him for, step by step?

He knows by now that when men are sleeping together, they do so from the very back and the thought of putting anything in there is honestly pretty intimidating, scary. Of course he knew that some women take it that way too, but never even thought about how it would be for two men. He never even thought of anything more than holding hands between them, no matter how many times he has met Felix's friends before. It does not matter because none of them even kissed in front of him before.

He simply remembers hearing about anal sex for the first time through Jeongin, Felix's pansexual friend who told them about that one girl he was with once who had to stay a virgin until getting married, played the part with pretty much everyone relevant, but had regular anal sex with Jeongin in secret. At least that way, one of her virginities was still intact and no one would ever even know about the other unless she told them or tried to experiment with her husband and took it far better from the back than he might have expected at that point. Jeongin said it was a lot more common for girls like that than one might expect, said the good girls are always the freakiest or most surprising ones. But Jisung never cared. He stopped listening when Jeongin started to drift off.

Now he is wondering if he is just like said good girls though. So good on the outside, but wondering about how far he and his male hutmate might go now that they have made out and Jisung came in his pants pathetically fast just because he was riding Minho's perfect fucking thigh like a bitch in heat.

"When two becomes one,
How does one find two?

Different in the right ways,
Born apart, different places,
Red string counting the days,
Till they are both in one space.

One are still two,
But go as one.

Nothing feels quite like it,
Yeah nothing at all,
Odds were all against it,
Yet fate made them fall.

Now two becomes one,
Because one found two."

Minho reads a poem to the group that he claims is the sappiest bullshit ever, but pastor Park is beyond in awe of it regardless, had not expected such words to come out of Minho of all people. Jisung can tell by the exact way he praises Minho for his work that he is probably going to mention this at mass back home or something, along with Minho's eulogy speech, as soon as someone dies. Jisung perfectly keeps in a chuckle when Minho rolls his eyes as soon as no one is looking at him anymore.

They somehow make it through the rest of the day just fine, but the moment they are back in their hut after dinner, Minho closes the door, tucks Jisung in with a tight grip on his wrist and pushes him right there against the wooden door. He sighs in relief the moment he has his lips on his in an almost far too longing entanglement, as if waiting all day was the hardest thing in the world. Like kissing Jisung is his cure for anything terrible. And Jisung wants to believe that he is, wants to believe that he is living up to those expectations.

He moans against his tongue, feels Minho's thigh push between his legs so he can grind against it, feels his erection against his own. Separated by the fabrics of their pants, but Jisung has the feeling that will change soon.

"Let me taste you, Jisung.", he lures him in, speaks in incantations, so simple in theory, but so hard to master so it can work on anyone so effortlessly. Jisung nods, bites his bottom lip and releases it only when Minho's thumb tucks it back out. There is another peck as a reward and he knows it is pathetic at the very least just how easily he accepts it, how it took nothing more than that to have his cheeks heating up, flushed deeply. "Tell me whenever you want to stop and I will."

It is the last thing he says, Jisung's "okay" being the last thing he is waiting for as well before he moves, kisses down his neck, looks back at him, waiting for approval, the hem of Jisung's shirt held by both his hands. Jisung simply lifts up his arms to let Minho take it off of him, sees the fire in his eyes the moment he sees him, feels his heart almost beating out of his chest at the small groan he lets out when he looks him up and down, still leaning against the door for support, shirtless for Minho to see, to take in, to claim.

Hungry eyes study every inch of him and he almost wants to cover himself, yet only tries once before his wrists are being grabbed, hands slowly being moved out of the way again.

"Don't hide. Let me see how beautiful you are, Jisung."

The choked out sound he lets out is far too embarrassing to ever talk about again, but Jisung does not mind, does not care. Not when Minho is looking at him like he means it all. Not when he leans in to scatter kisses all over his newly exposed skin, his chest, closer and closer to one of his nipples, yet not fully going there just yet. All Jisung can do is to at least try and control his breathing, as little as it might actually be working out in the end.

Minho moves on to the other side, teases him all the same, then glances up at him just once to check, lets his tongue slip out from between his lips and flicks it over the first nipple, teasingly, so light, so quick, but enough to make him gasp, make him grasp Minho's hair. He can tell Minho liked his reaction, goes right back in for another teasing flick before he circles the sensitive nub with the tip of his tongue, closes his plush lips around it once he deems it wet enough and sucks.

"Ah- Min-", he moans out, does not get any farther though. Not coherently that is. Because every suck of Minho's pulls a other moan out of Jisung, fingers of both hands now buried in his hair to keep him there, eyes unable to look away from him, so close, so good. Minho only stops to circle his tongue around it once again, nipple glistening prettily in the dim lights of their shared hut. He pecks him right there afterwards, kisses his way over to the other nipple then to repeat his ministrations in the same way and Jisung still just lets it all happen with no complaints. He did not even know his nipples were sensitive, never thought about it being a possibility.

Minho kisses down to his belly button, teasingly dips his tongue in just once, gets on his knees properly while he works his way down. His fingers work quickly but not quickly enough in unbuttoning his jeans, then hook into the hems of both, jeans and boxers, eyes on Jisung's, not straying even once while slowly pulling the last two clothing items on him down to his ankles. One nod from Jisung and his gaze finally drops down, eyes locked to the leaking erection right in front of him.

Not once in his life has Jisung been so exposed to anyone. Not a single time before. And Minho being the first to see him this way, all of him, is seriously one of the most fitting things in Jisung's very humble, very tainted opinion.

"So perfect. How did I get so lucky?", he compliments him, kisses his hipbone so gently, Jisung's brain could never even reach a stage of doubting his sincerity. His stupid, buzzing brain, currently feeling like he is high. Not that he would know what that feels like anyway, but he has heard from Felix's friends. Thinks this is pretty comparable.

"Don't- you can't say that, Minho...", he breathes out, eyes fixed on the scandalously stunning scene below of the most handsome man he knows.

"I can't? Isn't lying a sin though? Shouldn't you be proud of me instead for telling the truth, Jisungie?", he grins up at him, playing unfair. Because Jisung's most certainly committing some of the greatest sins by even letting him get so close, for even letting him touch him the way he does. For liking the way he feels from it. "You're the prettiest thing I've ever seen, baby. That is nothing but the truth."

He moans out pathetically loud when Minho licks over his leaking tip, clasps a hand over his mouth and tries as hard as possible to steady his heartbeat upon hearing Minho's cute giggle in response in addition to the overwhelming feeling of something other than his own fingers touching his erection.

He loses it even further when Minho's hand gets a hold of him, pumps him in a loose fist. Dry at first, but significantly wetter when he spits on him, mixes his saliva with the spurt of precum Jisung releases in response.

His hand stays on his lips, joined soon by the other, just to additionally muffle his moans. His back is still pressed up against the door and even though they should be safe under normal circumstances, Jisung knows that him screaming or moaning at the same volume would certainly attract some unwanted attention from the outside. Unwanted attention neither of them could afford to get. Not Minho who is pretending to fit into camp for now and not Jisung, who is desperately trying to hide the fact that he is so infatuated by his male hutmate that he is currently standing in said little building, said roommate kneeling right in front of his naked self.

Minho truly is a work of art. Truly sculpted and put together out of the most expensive materials, so rare to acquire that they might as well just not exist anywhere else anymore at all. The sharp angles of his cheekbones, his jaw, his straight nose, the tiny mole on it, as if trying to give him at least one tiny flaw, but failing miserably at the task by only adding to his visual perfection. His catlike eyes, sharp, attentive, dark, but filled with all sorts of hidden treasures, glimpses of genuine affection that Jisung is willing to explore forever if he could. No matter how ridiculous and unrealistic thinking that way is. And Minho's lips- that pretty, plump pair of lips, pecking his tip, then opening to let his tongue back out, let it swirl around the head of his cock before it settles below, rests Jisung on the warm cushion of the muscle.

Jisung swears he sees stars when Minho closes his lips around him, then glides down on it until it hits the back of hid throat. His eyes roll back in his head when Minho moans around him, swallows, envelopes his length in a tight heat Jisung has never felt like this before. He moans and whimpers with each dizzying bob of Minho's head, every hit against the back of his throat with Minho taking him expertly. The guy is obviously experienced enough not to choke and Jisung feels the heat in his abdomen the more he continues, the more of him Minho tries to take the closer he gets. He is torn between succumbing to the pleasure of Minho's sinfully hot mouth or throwing a jealous fit first about all the guys Minho must have trained giving blowjobs on.

"Oh fu- ngh, gonna come Min-ho ffff-"

His legs are shaking with the next hum, the pleasurable vibrations and the squeeze of another swallow right around him. Minho does not stop and Jisung cannot warn him further, cannot allow his hands to leave his mouth again. He clasps them over himself, does not use them to pry Minho off himself and Minho does not seem to want him to do so either. All he does is to open his throat further with each one of his slowed down, deep bobs, take Jisung further, teary eyes blinking up at him. It does not take much more than that for him to fully lose it.

Minho's hands shift from a comfortable resting position on his thighs to the backs of them, holding Jisung securely into place, just below his ass. He holds him up like that, steadies him enough to increase his speed once again, just a little, but more than enough to make Jisung come only seconds later. He shudders all over from an orgasm so intense - unlike anything he has ever felt before when pleasuring himself. Neither one of his hands could ever come close to deep throated releases, pretty, teary eyes, swallows around his tip, slight spluttering, the fucking imagery he is blessed with right now.

Minho clearly has to be a lot stronger than Jisung initially thought, judging by the secure grip he still has on him despite Jisung's muffled screams into his own hands and the accompanying lack of support from them in grasping onto literally anything to keep himself standing. He struggles on Jisung's cock at the same time, yet stays focused on him, his expression. And he waits until it is close to being too much for him altogether. Until he starts to twitch in overstimulation and Minho carefully slides him back out with an audible, wet pop that will echo in his mind and memory and haunt Jisung possibly for the rest of his life. The sound and the image of Minho, face so pretty, so ruined, wet, swallowing thickly because of all the gathered saliva, flushed cheeks, a string of wetness having made its way down his chin, slipped past full, crimson, glistening lips.

If this is what sin looks like, Jisung can very much understand how it is so tempting for people to indulge.

"Mhm figured you'd taste just as sweet as you look. Did that feel good?", Minho rasps out, voice ruined from the strain on his throat and all Jisung can possibly do in return is to let out another embarrassing sound he never thought he would make, drop to his knees the moment Minho releases him from his tight grip to wipe over his chin with the back of his hand. He pulls him in with a firm tuck, lips crashing against his for a deep, heated exchange of passion. He has no idea what he is doing right or wrong otherwise, but is quite honestly getting more confident in his kissing abilities the more they do it. So at least he can to this much to show him how much he liked it, how good he made him feel. The moment he bravely drops his hand down to the very obvious bulge in Minho's pants, Minho is pulling away, holding his wrists, small smirk on his lips. "What do you think you're doing, sweetheart?"

"Uhm...", he blinks at him, wide eyed, at a loss of words. "Wanted to make you feel good too? You're- you're h-hard. And I-"

"You're too cute, Jisungie. But you don't need to do that. I'll be fine.", he says "Making you feel good is all I need."

He pecks him once again, then gets up and helps him do the same. Minho spends an extra minute or two in the shower and Jisung finds himself wondering whether he might have done something wrong to not have touched Minho back, for him to have straight out refused it even. But he does not think Minho is not interested in him enough to want his touch. He cannot- he would not have looked at him the way he did then, right? Exactly. Jisung is just working himself up over nothing. Of course. Minho immediately cuddling him when he gets into bed beside him is more than enough proof of that.

The next day, Jisung feels conflicted. Everything is great. Wonderful as always, perfectly hidden forms of affection exchanged whenever possible. But their time is running out and he has still not asked Minho for his number. But trying to speak up about staying in touch after everything seems too real, too hard to just do. Because speaking about an after means that they would have to accept and understand first that things are really coming to an end.

Three days. Two and a half, actually. Two nights, then half a day afterwards with mainly breakfast and lunch, free time in between to pack their bags, clean their huts and the rooms in the main building they used. Jisung does not want to think of a goodbye. He cannot. Not when he has gotten so attached. Attached to the exact opposite of what he was ever expected to be with in the first place: a heathen man.

What would he even tell his parents? How would he even introduce Minho to them? Not once before has he lied to them. But Minho becoming a part of his life would require it. The alternative would be to tell his parents that he has very willingly let himself be touched and tainted by a man too stunning and sweet to resist and Jisung knows that is anything but an option for him. He does not know how they would react, but he can very much guess it would not be positive at all.

And Minho? Minho already has plans. Plans outside of actual university. He came to camp to be healed of something Jisung had to learn through Felix's friends was not rightfully condemned. Love is beautiful, pure. It should not matter whom one falls in love with, he knows, but to get either of their parents to think that way too seems impossible to imagine. Minho came to change, but even so, he has not done a single thing to genuinely do so. If that is telling Jisung anything at all about Minho's future, then that there is no space for someone like Jisung in it.

They do not do anything sexual that night, just kiss for a while, then cuddle while Jisung gets lost in thought.

"You don't plan on going back to your old life, are you?", he dares to ask, hopes Minho would not get angry about him clearly sticking his nose into what is anything but his business. But if there is any moment to ask, it should be now, right?

"Hm?", Minho hums, leans back just enough to look at him properly, not angry in the slightest.

"You're not going to just keep pretending to be healed, are you? Not for long, at least."

"Mhm of course not.", Minho chuckles, still nothing mean in his tone, his gaze, "I'll keep up the farce for as long as it takes, then grab my money and get the hell out of there. Open my own accounts without some preexisting clause allowing my parents to access my finances. I'll be free. Finally free."

He gulps in response, eyes watering. Of course. Of course Minho would go far, would leave everything behind that he had. Anything that would have allowed some space for Jisung to maybe slip into, stay a constant presence in. They could have met at church, could have played the part, then kissed in a secret spot, one only Jisung and Felix know about so far. Their parents could have become friends and then Minho could have stayed for sleepovers or gone on little trips with him with parental approval because what would there be to worry about, right? Just two young men going on overnight trips, one of them cured, the other just the perfect, good boy any parent would want to have.

Then he curses himself in his head for thinking the way he does. Wrong. So wrong.

"Okay.", he whispers, nods, watches the worry spread across Minho's features, accepts the soft touch of his hand on his cheek any day regardless. Minho holds him like he could break at any moment if handled incorrectly.

"Hey, are you- Jisung, sweetheart, are you okay?", he carefully asks, Jisung just nods, does not know what else to do. Minho does not seem to buy it though. He looks hurt, more than anything. "Do you regret it? Letting me touch you?"

"No!", Jisung responds a bit too loudly, a bit too quickly. Minho is quick to calm him down though, always just so sweet to him that it is starting to hurt, "No, I don't regret any of it. I just, guess I just realized that there's... We won't be seeing each other again after camp, will we?"

"Jisung, baby...", he whispers, eyes as watery as Jisung's. The air in their safe place is getting tight, everything now starting to become real in the one way Jisung did not want it to. His eyes are burning and he wants to cry so badly, but just cannot get himself to do it. "I'm sorry."

Words he never wanted to hear when asking about after, stab after stab, right into his gut, his heart. How could he be so stupid?

"Right, you're sorry. Of course you are.", he says, pulls back from him, just to be stopped before he can possibly slip away. Minho is grabbing onto him firmly, just softens his grip when he realizes what he is doing. But hurting Jisung is not his intention.

"Please don't pull away from me, Jisung. But what do you expect me to do, huh? I can't... I can't do this to you. Me, my life.", he explains, "I have already allowed myself to get attached to you to a point that makes it so fucking hard to let you go the day after tomorrow. But I am a fucking mess and I will be for a little while, until I have finally gotten myself out of my family. I would never forgive myself if I dragged you along and you ended up regretting everything. I want to be close to you, but you have so many great things ahead of you that I could never compete with."

"But... how would you know that I'd regret anything? I just want to be with you."

"I know, sweetheart. But we can't. I know you know that too. I'm not... not what you deserve to have."

"Don't say that. You're so much better than you are saying you are. How can you... just don't say all that about yourself when I care so much about you. You not seeing how great you are hurts me more than you know."

"Us being together after camp would mean constant lies, constant hiding, being trapped in a relationship with me. I'll get out of here, out of my family, become a dancer, somehow get around. But you, baby, you'll go places. I know you will.", Minho tells him, still so soft, still so pained about it. Jisung can tell that he is trying to show him how much he cares about him by doing the one thing he knows is right. He is setting Jisung free. "You are incredible. So good, so wonderful. You'll study law like pastor Park said you would, meet the prettiest, coincidentally also religious as fuck girl and your parents will adore her so much. You'll get married and make everyone proud. And I'll be right here all along.", he continues, puts a finger right where Jisung's heart is and Jisung sniffs, bottom lip wobbling, "And even if everything ends up turning out to be so much different to what you originally planned, if by any chance we are meant to be each other's forever, I am willing to believe that your god up there will lead you back to me when the time is right."

He makes Jisung promise to do just fine without him, gently pecks him all over the face, then lingers longer on his forehead, the tip of his nose, kisses him properly on the lips. His tears make the kiss taste the slightest bit salty, yet Minho does not seem to mind at all. Not when it is Jisung he is holding in his arms tonight.

Yet all Jisung can really do instead of simply accepting everything with no complaints and falling asleep along with Minho, is to work his mind up over all they have said, all they have talked about, all of the confusing things he has been feeling for Minho all along.

Jisung had saved himself up for marriage and he knows Minho knows. Even without him explicitly mentioning it to him. It does not take a genius to figure out. But would he really have to wait that long if he has already given Minho so many of his significant firsts anyway? The most valuable ones?

He had always hoped for the first one he would ever share a bed with like that to be his forever. Had always hoped that it would be the one person meant to be by his side once, then prevail until the very end of time. Someone who cares about him more than anyone else, treasures him, wants the best for him at all times, someone he fully trusts. Had he been asked at any point in time before camp this very year, he would have probably been the most shocked, appalled and offended in all honesty, had the person asking brought up Minho as a potential candidate.

Yet Minho seems so fitting, does he not? He checks almost all the boxes. Almost, because they are not married and whether he would be Jisung's forever person is in the stars, fairly unlikely actually. Jisung is fully aware though that one of the most honorable things Minho could have done, one of the most sincerely placed display of his feelings for him, has to be the mere fact that he is giving Jisung up because he knows that a life together, at least one respecting where they are currently at in life, will possibly ever end up at, is not possible without sacrifices. Sacrifices Minho fears would indubitably lead to Jisung resenting him one day for taking a more promising future he could have had away from him.

They have just one night left together before separating into their respective families, going back to lives that do not include one another. One night, preceded by one day that Jisung spends thinking deeply, once again. Because he cannot act on a whim, knows he should think properly before taking a path somewhere that does not have a way back. Right now, said path would be the type of intimacy he knows no woman he could ever end up with would explore or indulge in with him.

Is he even ready to let anything or anyone near his ass like that? Inside at that? The thought is still scary. But he figures it must have its reasons that gay men, bottoms (as he has learned the term to be for those he is referring to) at least, enjoy being in said position. Why would they be so into it if it really is so terrible? Jisung is sure that Minho, no matter how stunning he would look, is not a bottom. And judging by the amount of experience he has, as well as the amount of affection and care in his heart for Jisung, he would make it good for him. He would stop when it gets too much, would not force Jisung to do anything.

Besides, what could make this very last night of theirs any more memorable than having their first time together, Jisung's first time overall? Nothing would ever come close. Nothing would ever be as good. Not memory wise and not regarding Jisung's own expectations of how his first time being fully connected to someone should feel like.

He plans it out in his head, almost ends up not doing it. But once he has showered and gotten himself ready for bed and Minho has gone off to shower next, he puts his plan into motion. Instead of just getting into bed like he did before, he undresses himself completely, bare as he can be, then throws on one of the shirts from Minho's bag. Worn just once and smelling so nicely of him. Jisung's current favorite scent. Probably a long time competitor for the future as well. It will be hard to top. But Jisung is not looking to top anything anytime soon anyway.

He sits on the bottom edge of the bed, legs dangling off the side, hands on the mattress, right behind himself to sit up properly. He glances down at himself while he waits, would feel ashamed with anyone else, but figures Minho will understand, will be just as sweet as he always is with him. Just the way Jisung has gotten to like him as. The shirt is a little oversized on Minho already, a bit more so on Jisung due to the slight, yet significant differences in their physiques. But the garment is still long enough to cover his most private part, his thighs peeking out below the hem in a way he knows Minho will call pretty again. And he cannot wait to hear it.

His heart stops for a second when he hears the water being turned off in the bathroom and even though Minho does not do too much in there afterwards, it feels like he is taking absolutely forever until the doorknob turns and the door swings open, revealing a very stunning Minho with damp hair, dressed casually in his pajama shorts and shirt. He halts when he spots Jisung, wide eyes blinking in quick succession as if trying to make sense of what he is seeing. As if trying to understand if it is even real. The sight of Jisung right now, glancing up at him with the most sinfully innocent expression, laced with the tiniest amount of something aching to be ruined. Lethal for someone like Minho. For anyone with eyes and a heart.

Yet it does not take much to break the ongoing silence between them, the staring contest, the challenge in each other's gaze. Jisung is trying to gather his courage and Minho is trying to keep himself from a stroke, blessed by the sight of the most enticing creature he has ever seen, barely dressed, only wearing Minho's shirt and just looking like the sweetest little treat. For only Minho to taste.

"Please make love to me, Minho."

An audible hitch of breath, the clenching of fists for just a moment, sirens at their best, holding each other captive. Oh how badly he wants to give in, hold him down, make him see stars. Maybe this is payback. Maybe this is some sort of twisted challenge to see how Minho would do, what decision he would make.

"Jisung, you can't-"

"No, I can. I can because I didn't decide on a whim. I thought about it and I made this decision, knowing what it means. I know how wrong it is for someone like me to give myself to you like this. But when it's so wrong, then why does it feel so right? I know you'd make it good for me. I know you care about me and I want it to be you. I want you to be my first time. Don't want you to leave my side without taking this part of me with you.", he so bravely requests, "I want you to make it inevitable for us to cross paths again one day."

"Oh baby,", Minho says, so softly, like it pins him to continue with what he wants to say afterwards. Jisung's chest squeezes painfully in response, his every cell screaming for him to pull back, get dressed or cover himself otherwise, as quickly as possible. Just to hide away and not have to feel the humiliation of Minho rejecting him in such a delicate state of his. But Minho moves before he can, kneels down on the ground right in front of him, holding both of Jisung's hands in his, thumbs pressing the gentlest circles around his knuckles. "you'll probably never know how much it means to me to hear that you care so much about me. It's an honor to be with you and for you to offer me something so important, but we can't have sex."

"Why?", Jisung whispers, tries in vain to swallow the lump in his throat, "Do you not want me?"

"It's not an issue of want. Of course I want you. How could I not? Just look at you, baby. So pretty, so fucking stunning. Holding back has never been harder.", Minho tells him honestly, emphasizes his need for him by giving him a very clear once over, eyes saying more than words ever could, "But we have nothing here. No condoms, no lube, nowhere close by, close enough at least, to get any of it from. And I'm not compromising on those. Not for your first time."

Okay well, Jisung figures that makes sense. He understands where Minho is coming from. That does not make his disappointment any less potent though and he knows Minho can clearly tell by the very clear pout of his lips, his drawn together brows.

"Can I at least touch you then? Just this once."

Once again, Minho shakes his head, chuckling sweetly.

"I'm afraid that all my plans of doing the right thing would no longer have a chance if I let you touch me.", he says, waits for a moment to see if Jisung's disappointment ever shifts into something else. But it never does. Minho finds another solution. "I could do something else though. Give you a slightly better understanding of what I would have done, had we met anywhere else. If you want me to show you, of course."

Jisung perks up at the promise, nods quickly and lets Minho pull him down for a deep kiss.

"I want to.", Jisung breathes against his lips, leans back just enough to rub their noses together, then look into Minhos eyes, "I trust you."

Minho kisses him again, longer this time, tongue taking every moment possible to taste him further, drag it out, make him dizzy.

"Turn around for me, sweetheart. On your knees, ass up and turned towards me."

Jisung bites back his embarrassment, reminding himself of who he is with, the promise he made before. He kisses Minho one more time to gather the courage needed to move, get into the exact position Minho told him to get into. He immediately hears all sorts of whispered praise, buries his face in his arms in shame. He feels so exposed. Which, to be fair, he is. But it feels so much more like it now. He feels thoroughly watched, studied, knows Minho likes the view, tells him he does. But Jisung knows it will get better, gasps the moment he feels two hands, traveling up the sensitive backs of his thighs to hold both his cheeks, squeeze him, pulling them apart more. He can see him. Fully, all of him, in ways no one ever has, ever will.

"Fuck, even your hole is stunning, Jisung, what the hell.", he groans, has Jisung whining in embarrassment.

"Minhooooo!", he scolds, hears the chuckle from behind him, heart fluttering at the sound, the images in his mind of the prettiest smile.

"Oh sorry. Guess hell is a sensitive topic, huh? Gonna try not to mention it anymore. But no promises."

"That's not- hhhhnnnngg-ah-"

The words fully disappear from his mind, stripped away with the firm drag of Minho's tongue over Jisung's rim. He can feel himself twitch on both ends, lets his hands fist the sheets, considers to complain, tell Minho to stop. But after the sound of the cutest giggle, followed by another wet press against his rim, Jisung has no capacity for any complains.

It feels unlike anything he could ever possibly explain. He did not even know he could be so sensitive back there, could feel actual pleasure from a few licks, the feeling of Minho's saliva, gradually wetting him further, tongue pushing more, trying to work its way in.

Such a filthy act, providing such dizzying pleasure. Minho and his stupidly experienced self, his perfectly trained tongue, have Jisung all hazy, have his mind swimming with such ease.

Minho is eating him out like a man starved, circles his rim, wets it enough to lick him deeply, attach himself around his hole to get at deep as possible, suck, slurp even. The sound has Jisung's legs shaking, his strength almost giving out completely. Minho works his way in so well that once he can easily thrust his tongue in and out of him, slip past his rim with not a single issue at all, Jisung cannot stop himself from rutting back the slightest bit to meet Minho's movements, chase the feeling of him, get lost in it. Minho lets him.

"Taste so fucking good everywhere, Jisung. How could you ever think I didn't want you? I'm hanging by a threat, baby.", he tells him and Jisung can vaguely make out some wet sucking sound behind him, hole left dripping, clenching around nothing. He barely makes out the existence of the sound before he feels pressure against his rim again, a wet finger circling his rim, then pushing against it just slightly to check its give. He has made him wet and soft enough to slip in without any big issue and with the gentle kisses he places on Jisung's cheeks along with a few loving nibbles and sucks, as well as Jisung's sensitivity, Minho soon has his finger all the way in. Jisung moans loudly when Minho pushes downwards, makes him twitch and clench around the digit at the sudden surge of pleasure, rushing through his veins, originating from a spot within him he did not even know existed. Not like this. "So perfect. Does that feel good, hm?"

He pushes again, prods against the spot with the next slide of his finger and Jisung knows for a fact he has to be smirking from where he is seeing all of him, is feeling him all hot and tight around his finger.

"Good- hnnggg how is it so good?"

"Mhm told you it would be. You're doing so well, Jisung, feel so fucking tight around my finger.", Minho praises, increases his speed just a little, just enough, holds him open with the other hand, olaces kisses wherever he can reach. His butt, his thighs, the bottom of his spine. He pauses his movements, slips out his finger and listens to Jisung's needy whine from below. The prettiest sound from the prettiest boy. The mattress dips when Minho kneels on it, leans forward to pepper kisses over the back of Jisung's neck now, his shoulders. His finger slides back into him and Jisung keens, Minho's other hand now having made its way around him to pump him in sync with his thrusts, steady pace, not too slow, nor too fast. Slowly pushing Jisung into a peak of ecstasy. "I wish I could have properly made you mine, baby. Would have taken my time with you, would have gotten you ready to take more than a finger, so, so much more."

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, Min- want that too. Want to be yours too."

"You are, baby. It's okay, because you are. All mine. So good for me.", he whispers against his skin, lips once again pressing against the back of his neck, "I can feel you clenching, can feel all of you. Can't stop thinking about how fucking stunning you'd be around my cock, will be haunted by that for the rest of my life, images I wish I could make real."

He cannot tell if his words are driving him over the edge or the pleasure of his touch. But either way, something is pushing and pushing, is making his insides tingle, his abdomen twist into something sinister, something so painfully tight, something about to burst.

"Weird, Minho- it feels-"

"You're close, aren't you?", he asks, adjusts his movements, his pacing, pumps him quicker, firmer, massages his prostate to tip him over and and over and over, so, so close. Jisung can feel the pleasure building, adding to the twist inside of him by simply twisting it further until - "Come for me, Jisung."

Siren whispers, gentle kisses and a loud moan, pushed into bedsheets that aren't his. His entire body is shaking, shuddering, aftershocks of his orgasm hitting one after another. This is what heaven must feel like. This is what it has to be. There really is a special place in heaven for guys like Jisung. And this right here is it. In the arms of Lee Minho, worked through an intense release, then kissed stupid afterwards.

He hates that he falls asleep so soon afterwards, too tired to stay awake, no matter how hard he tries. But he is glad they already packed most their stuff the evening prior, is glad to have some more time with Minho between breakfast and lunch. More time for kisses and lazy make out sessions, desperate attempts of keeping each other as close as possible for as long as possible. All until the alarm they set on Jisung's phone goes off and they have to part, the younger of the two now crying in the arms of the other, letting himself be held close just one last times for just a few more seconds.

Jisung only sees Minho's parents for a few seconds, maybe a minute at most. But watching them greet their son, silenced and playing the perfect example of a cured version of himself, both parents crying happily, then loading him into the car and driving off with just a small wave and a pained smile from Minho to Jisung before leaving his sight - a challenge. He sees it as the biggest challenge yet. To seem unaffected when he just wants to cry and run up to Minho, hug him tight, kiss him once more. Just one more time. As if he has not done that enough already.

But he simply figures there is no hope with that anyway. There would probably never be a limit to how often one could kiss Lee Minho. No amount of kisses could ever just be enough. Jisung has tasted the forbidden fruit and finds himself addicted, tainted forever.

He remains hopeful in other ways. Because he remembers what they talked about, what Minho said, could never forget a single second spent with him anyway, even if he wished to. What keeps Jisung hopeful, keeps him strong, even when saying goodbye to camp yet another time and driving off with his parents afterwards is that if their paths are meant to cross again, he is sure they will.

He will pray for it every morning and night. If Minho is his forever person, god will make sure they meet again.

Chapter Text

In the past two years, so much has happened. So much that Jisung barely even noticed so much time passing at all.

When camp ended, he was at a low point of his existence. He was barely keeping it together while his parents were around, stuck to his schedule and decided to just be as undercover about what had happened as he possibly could. But with Minho being somewhere out there and no way for Jisung to contact him, check in with him, maybe at least see him somehow to figure out how he is doing, he just fell deeper and deeper into his heartbreak. He longed to see him more than anything, regretted not a single moment he had spent with him, any memory they had made. He had given a part of himself to Minho at camp and he kept on hoping it might have led to something in the future.

Like a planted seed, meant to grow into a tree one day, them meeting again and Jisung undoubtedly dropping anything around him immediately to be with him. It sounds ridiculous, thinking back and prevailing into the present. But Jisung figures he might just have been a little crazy all along. It simply took a vey certain someone to get him to see.

When Felix returned from Australia, coping with the loss of Minho's existence in his life became easier. Felix immediately noticed that something was off and the moment he was alone with Jisung, he asked him and Jisung broke down crying, telling Felix absolutely everything that happened at camp, start to finish. And Felix being the absolutely precious and perfect being that he is, simply held Jisung in his arms and let him cry for as long as he needed to. He purposely waited until Jisung was calm enough to then confess to him that said close friend he had gone to meet, Chris, was far more than just that and Felix apparently lost his virginity that same summer. Jisung was less shocked than he thought he would be and decided to wait until meeting the man officially before settling on whether or not he would accept him to be by his favorite person's side.

Jisung did everything that was already on his agenda, planned out for him long ago, long before Lee Minho happened and threw him off the rails. He even made a friend at law school, met Seungmin on his third day and spent the majority of his days there in his dorm instead of his own. It helped him get over having neither of the two people around that he wanted to be with the most, since Felix and Chan went on some long ass travel trip together, just before Felix started university, a semester after Jisung started law school. But Seungmin is wonderful. He is sincere, honest, direct, but just the right amount of nice and caring as well. Jisung considers him an important friend and one of his number one stops when needing to ask someone for advice on literally anything.

Chan moved to Korea for Felix and Jisung was only the slightest bit salty about it. Because of course he was beyond happy for his best friend, but felt just as bad for letting jealousy creep in to an extent that had him praying longer after Sunday mass, then sitting in the confession booth right after. Though it was then that he felt for the very first time probably ever, just how off it felt to sit there and complain about wishing he could have the very same happiness as his best friend, no matter how foolish it was to wish for something so out of reach. He called Seungmin afterwards to meet up with him, got drunk for the very first time, made out with his friend and regretted everything afterwards. Seungmin was more than understanding and during an extra greasy brunch the next day, both of them having taken medicine for their headaches after crawling out of bed, he helped him work through his shit.

And that is where he is now. Because he knows for sure that law school does not make him nearly as happy as he thought it would. The more he goes and attends classes, the more he realizes that he would rather be anywhere else. He is good enough of a student, hardworking in nature, to still make it through fine up to that point, but realizes quickly that he is not going to stay in this field. Telling his parents is something he pushes back for as long as possible, determined to wait for the right moment to tell them and lessen their disappointment he knows for sure will follow, no matter how supportive or understanding they might or might not turn out to be. He calls Felix and Chan as soon as he has created enough clarity to hopefully figure the rest out with their help and one invite from Chan later, Jisung thinks he knows where life would lead him in the end. He is all excited to make music with Chan, crams out his old scribbles and notes on his phone he took whenever he could or needed to and finds himself smiling and laughing more than ever upon taking deeper dives into each one of them. Seungmin helps him gather all the materials and information he might need to try and enroll at the university both Chan and Felix attend too. He is the exact support Jisung thinks he appreciates far more than he ever thought he would. Seungmin does not complain even once about Jisung potentially leaving him behind to attend another university, but fully supports him in his decision instead. He is a true friend.

Jisung meets Mina during a campus visit to the university she currently and Jisung hopefully soon attends. She is extremely pretty and equally as smart, a literature major. Religious enough for his parents to absolutely fall in love with her the second they meet her during dinner, the day Jisung decides to bring her over and let them know about his final decision of dropping out of law school to pursue a more artistic degree at the same university his girlfriend attends. His parents react surprisingly well and Jisung thinks that Mina being present, might have been a big influence on them. They are actually quite excited to see him follow his heart and do not mind either that he is going to attend the same university as his absolutely incredible girlfriend. It is a win for everyone involved. But Jisung still cries when he and Seungmin end up saying goodbye the day Jisung takes off to go back home before classes would officially start at his new university.

"Don't worry. You can still call and annoy me as much as you need to. Text me, keep me posted. I actually insist on it. Things will get annoyingly quiet without you around.", Seungmin tells him, makes him promise to stay in touch before he lets him leave. He also invites himself to come visit Jisung in his new place once he is off and can do so. Jisung insists on him keeping that promise of his before managing to get himself to leave.

About three months into their relationship, about a month before Jisung is supposed to start university, he realizes that being with Mina is honestly fine. Not amazing, exciting, heart-fluttering in the same ways he has already got to experience only once before, but Jisung already knew he would probably never end up feeling that exact way with anyone ever again anyway. Nothing ever comes close to a first love, first experiences. Lips on his not fitting as perfectly as they could, soft skin beneath his fingertips that does not smell as intoxicating as it could, a warm mouth, not feeling quite as addictively hot and practiced as it could. Not like what he had once, had before. Not like Minho, who just fit like no other person ever could. He set the bar as high as he said he would, told Jisung that kissing others would not ever feel as good anymore if he gave in to him, let Minho teach him, show him. And Jisung has kissed two people after camp, Seungmin and Mina. Nothing has made it close enough just yet. But pushing the thoughts of Minho away has become a lot easier for him now than it used to be and he would not allow himself to ever spiral back down if not necessary, if avoidable. It took so much to get to this stage after all and he has a girlfriend now, even if she is not going to be his forever person like his parents probably hope and pray she would be.

Maybe he just needs more time though. More time to get to know her better, be closer than they already are once he moves out of his parents's place again to live at the other dorms of his current university. They have tried a lot already, have kissed, made out, went down on each other more than once. Jisung has been turned on enough to know he is still interested in women. Much to his relief, considering he wants anything but to imagine any other guy to see him like Minho did at camp. So humiliating. So fucking humiliating. How could he ever show himself like that in front of anyone else? Anyone who is not Minho? Impossible. Not even Mina knows about that side of his though. Mina, who does her part as his girlfriend, makes it comfortable. But he is the one who has to step up and be the more dominant partner when with her, words more or less kept to a manageable minimum due to him simply struggling with dirty talk if he is the one initiating, keeping things going.

Yes. Maybe Mina is not his forever person, because she is too passive during intimate acts? Maybe Jisung needs someone more active, someone who tells him what they want to do to him, kiss him gently, treat him like he is some sort of rare treasure. He misses the feeling of it. Hates that he lets the memory of it make him have doubts, think of things, scenarios, he knows should not be. He is too hard on Mina, he thinks. Not fair at all. They could talk about it sometime and maybe things will at least get better, more enjoyable for both of them. They can talk like adults first though because that is what they are and Jisung wants things to be right, wants her to be treated well. Him too. They both deserve to.

"You're coming right? Didn't forget when and where?"

Felix's voice comes from where Jisung has his phone standing up on his desk, full volume on their video call. He is gathering clothes from his wardrobe, has just placed the last stack of neatly folded clothing items next to the duffel bag his father still had lying around somewhere from one of the previous youth activity event gifts they handed out a while ago. It was to raise money for their church, get some donations for several little renovations that needed to be done. Ended up being quite the successful sports event. Jisung scored terribly though, so he usually does not like to bring it back up.

"Of course I am coming. Performance building B, 14th of September, five in the evening, got my tickets right here.", Jisung replies, holds the tickets up into the camera for Felix to see, then makes sure to capture the entirety of him putting them back into the envelope they were just in, to then put them into his tote. The one he is going to carry around with him when he is walking around town or the campus.

"I swear I just love you too much. I'm so excited and you being there for my first official dance performance is just- Ji, I'm so happy. I love that we will attend the same university soon. It got so lonely without you.", Felix says, pouting cutely into the camera. He is currently laying on his bed, phone propped up somewhere beside him and Jisung is almost convinced it is probably all one of his many phone stands he uses for pictures or dance clips. "Like, I know I have Chris, but it's different to have your incredibly wholesome boyfriend around, but not your amazing best friend who somehow happens to be your non-biological twin."

He gets Jisung to giggle in response while he starts putting his stuff into his duffle bag.

"I know, I know. I missed you too. Not been seeing you enough these days and I can't wait to spend actual days in a row with you again when I'm there.", he replies with a soft smile, "I had Seungmin around and yes, I love him a lot, but you know you're my favorite, Lix. Always."

"Okay now stop or I'll start squealing again because I'm both, emotional and excited. Channie said I was crazy with that sexy dad voice of his. You know, the one he only uses sometimes but when he does, it's extra hot?"

"Mhm. You're the only one who thinks that, but yes. I know what you mean."

"Can't help that I just so happened to win the fucking jackpot.", Felix says with the most smitten little grin on his flawless face. He is not even wearing makeup right now and Jisung thinks it is unfair how stunning he is, how there is not a single spot on his face that is misplaced. "You sure you don't want to stay with Channie and me though? I know you're staying with your girlfriend and all while you're here, but you could just spend the first two days there, then get your stuff to ours and stay with me. I'll make Chan sleep on the couch. He'll understand."

The plans for the next few days are pretty simple, actually. Jisung will get in a taxi once he is done packing and has properly said goodbye to his parents. Then he will stay at Mina's for the month between his arrival and the official start of the semester. Once a dorm room has been cleared, he will move over there. Easy. Not to forget of course that because Felix's show is on Jisung's birthday, they made plans to gather at the Chanlix apartment after the whole show, to order food, eat whatever cake Jisung knows Felix has most certainly made for them and then proceed to stay awake until midnight to congratulate and celebrate Felix before turning in for the night. Felix invited some friends to join in and Jisung is bringing himself, his girlfriend and a FaceTime call with Seungmin.

"Well, as much as I appreciate you being very willing to make your boyfriend leave his own bed for me to sneak in for late night cuddles instead, I do think it makes more sense for me to just stay with Mina. I know you and you won't sleep properly from all the excitement and catching up and whatnot. Plus, I cannot fuck things up with Chan. He and his friend, Changbin, if I remember correctly, wanted to spend as much time with me in the studio as we can possibly get before your performance day. And you have practice anyway. I'll see you after your performance though and then we can properly celebrate. Okay?"

It does take a bit to make the whining young man on the other end of the line agree with him. Felix is simply too excited right now to let it go too easily. It was worth a try, he thinks, but easily moves on to a different topic altogether, talking about anything and everything until Jisung is fully packed and ready to leave.

He ends the call with his best friend and swings the duffel bag over his shoulder, bucket hat following next, sitting atop his grown out hair. He wears it longer now than he used to, thinks the change was very much necessary for him to make a proper switch from perfect, Christian son and camp attendee who went to law school afterwards, to full time musician. Felix also said he looked great like this though and after having changed quite a bit within the past two years, mentally and physically, as well as emotionally, Jisung thinks he likes this particular difference quite a lot as well. His parents thought it weird at first, but accepted his new style just as much as probably anything else Jisung ever tried to change or adjust in his life in general. Though he still wonders sometimes, considering they only ever hear about the manageable and decent things, just what they would have said, had he told them what had happened at camp the very last year he went. No details, of course. Just the general mention of having developed feelings for a boy. Would they have ostracized and sent him away as well? He would hope not. But then again, no need to dwell on such questions anyway. Not when they wouldn't be necessary to answer. Not relevant anymore.

Both his parents are emotional when waving him off. His mother more so than his father, to absolutely nobody's surprise. Jisung and his father find it quite endearing of her to still react so strongly to him leaving, despite it being the second time already and both make sure to hug her properly. Extra tight and with an extra kiss on the cheek from Jisung, who promises to both, take care of himself and be alright, as well as careful when living with Mina for the time being. His parents might be understanding and supportive for the most part, especially because Jisung is still their only son and a proper good boy, diligent, smart, faithful, but neither of them would want him to stray too far once left alone with his girlfriend. He should at least finish his studies and find an occupation before bringing up any potential pregnancy mentions. Preferably after getting married at that.

A few hours in a cab by himself later and Jisung finds himself standing in front of the door to Mina's apartment, glad to know that she has enough space for the two of them at least, considering that her parents pay for this place and she lives alone. At least she used to. Because for the following weeks, she and Jisung are going to be together. Close and with not a single other soul around to disturb them. He can very much guess what that means for them, apart from every wholesome aspect of simply existing in one space with your partner, sharing food, hanging out. Knowing her, she might as well have special plans for his birthday celebration. Either before they go to Felix's show or after they return from the apartment in the early morning hours of Felix's birthday. Jisung is just going with the flow at this point. Who is he to refuse? Mina is good to him. She is everything he should want, everything his parents want to see him with.

When she opens the door, she greets him with the brightest smile.

"Baby!", she squeals in pure and utter excitement and it honestly doesn't take more than that for Jisung to smile back, catch her when she jumps into his arms, return her kiss once their giggles have died down enough. "Come on in, you're here just in time for a late lunch. Let's get you properly filled up."

He ignores that last sentence for the sake of his own sanity and the remnants of his almost pathetically small dignity.

She ordered food when Jisung texted, saying he was around an hour away. Knowing her, the kitchen is not stocked properly anyway because she enjoys going grocery shopping and getting things with him instead of doing it herself. He honestly finds it incredibly cute of her to be like that. So they enjoy their late lunch, then go grocery shopping and stumble through an online recipe together in the evening, with surprisingly much arguing and frustrations thanks to neither of them necessarily being any actual good in the kitchen.

To make up for upsetting her, Jisung goes down on her before they go to sleep. She forgives him easily after that, even though she was the one to start the argument earlier. Jisung is used to it. Nobody is perfect and Mina has her flaws, as well as Jisung has his. He is not one to hate, just because someone is being human. Her being stubborn and completely unable to see or admit when she is wrong or the way she would full on ignore his existence when annoyed (until he comes and apologizes first) or her slight obsession with her phone are some things to name. But they are fine. Everything is fine. Jisung is just overthinking.

They have eggs for breakfast the next morning and kiss goodbye before parting ways, Mina for going to work, Jisung for meeting Chan and Changbin at the studio. They planned a full day of actually being properly productive and Jisung is beyond excited to finally spend some extra time doing what he loves with two guys who share the same passion. Chan is his best friend's boyfriend and Changbin is the friend Chan made on his first day. They had a group chat after Chan told Jisung they were trying to make something rather big happen soon and he would love for them to meet. And during Jisung's visit before semester start, the day just before Felix's dance performance, he meets Changbin in person for the first time and he instantly feels like he has known him forever. This guy is one he is sure will stay one of his closest people at uni once he officially starts. Especially judging by the way he keeps telling Chan that he loves Jisung too much already to let him slip away again. Chan agrees. They settle with telling Jisung they would have to talk some things over before seeing him again at the casual birthday hangout at the Chanlix apartment. It is all Jisung needs to be smiling and giggling extra excitedly when he leaves the studio again later that day to see his girlfriend. Well, to go home to his girlfriend's place that will be his own as well for at least a few weeks.

There is nothing sexual happening before they go to sleep that night.

Waking up on the morning of his birthday every other year before, used to be him in his own bed, his parents waking him up with a song and a cupcake with a candle on it for him to blow out. Felix would come over and they would spend as much time together as they could before celebrating Felix the next day.

Just last year he thought that waking up in Seungmin's bed instead of his own would be the weirdest thing to happen to him. But Seungmin paid for coffee and cake and even sang for him when Jisung begged him over and over again. It turned out to be way nicer than he expected it to initially. Because Seungmin is a good friend with a resting bitch face and the attitude of a mischievous, charming as fuck little shit and Jisung loves him too much to back out of their friendship absolutely ever again. Not that he would want to anyway.

This year though, he wakes up to gentle kisses on his neck and collarbones and the mental image of none other than the one man he has been trying to forget about for the past two years. His eyes stay closed, he leans into the feeling, hums in delight. It is a feeling he has missed, so much that apparently, he is thinking of him on his birthday morning, fully aware that he must be dreaming. But why would he complain? It is all he has wanted for far too long. So much so that his body is letting itself go, is letting itself fall into the birthday morning dream he is apparently gifting himself with.

He moans out when he feels lips settling on a certain spot on the side of his neck, just below his ear, to suck. His hands reach out at that, lips parting slightly, brows furrowing. He grabs onto a pair of thighs, gives them a squeeze, receives another suck and whimpers from the pleasure.

"Ffffuuuck, Min-", he groans out, finally opens his eyes and stills, completely frozen in his tracks. Because the body on top of his, straddling him, sitting on his morning wood, is not the one he expected, the thighs in his grip not the ones that have had him restless for fucking ever, have caused him god knows how many erections he had to take care of himself every single time. The lips on his neck are not the ones satiating his hunger, the pair he was made to match, the ones he wants to feel absolutely everywhere again. And then again and again and some more after. "W-what-"

His eyes are wide, burning with unshed tears, watery because he is a stupid fucking idiot and of course it would not be Minho he is with right now. Because he is god knows where, away from his parents with the money he had, probably sleeping with someone else this instant. While Minho is somewhere living his life, having sweet morning sex with some overly handsome guy that looks nothing like Jisung, probably having completely forgotten about him anyway because why would he not? He can have anyone. He is the one who let Jisung go. He is the one who moved on first, showed him what it feels like to be properly had, without even having had him in every way Jisung was willing to offer himself to him to.

But just because Minho moved on long ago, does not mean that Jisung is the same. No, because he is too emotional to let go, too invested. Minho was his first love, is the one that got away. And every single day spent hoping and dreaming and praying about seeing him again one day if they are meant to be together, every single moment he pushed it all back - it all comes crashing down on him now. Like he is trapped in a room with no doors or windows, just solid walls. A room with swords hanging from the ceiling that end up falling, impaling him, taking him out instantly.

It must be a sign. Because the day he last went to camp, he remembers feeling like his life would change forever and now? Now it is happening again. Strange dreams he is not supposed to have, then his eyes opening to the obviously and only logical sight of his girlfriend straddling him. It has to be a sign. Because this might be the clearest way god has to show Jisung how foolish it is to keep holding on. Seeing Minho, then seeing the truth. A wake up call. Quite literally so.

"Good morning, little baby.", she says, he gulps down something that could come out wrong. He does not like her calling him that. Something about it feels wrong. Does not sit quite right. "Happy birthday. Thought I'd make your gift extra special this year, since you are moving here soon, are taking such a big step. I think you deserve it, no?"

Her voice is lowered, her lids are too, the woman herself obviously having thought the whole thing through to a certain extent before making the final decision of gifting him... well, his guess would be that Mina herself is the gift. She must have snuck out of bed noticeably early, judging by the entirety of her getup. Her hair is falling over her shoulders, the slope of her breasts and parts of her back in pretty, styled, loose curls. She is wearing makeup too, more so than she usually already does. Her lips match the color of the lingerie she is wearing. Red. His favorite color ever since something in him just changed. The color of blood and sin. The latter being something he has indulged in more than he probably should have ever done.

"Uhm... what exactly are you- what's the plan?", he asks stupidly, gulps nervously. He cannot look away, cannot move his hands away either. He just stays right where he is, how he is, and looks at his girlfriend and the sight of her, all pretty and flawless. Any guy would go wild upon seeing her like this. But Jisung just cannot seem to move at all.

"Well, do you like it? Do I look pretty?", she asks, pouts at him, lets one of her hands play with the hem of his shirt, then slip beneath it to rest on his abdomen. Jisung gulps again, holds his breath afterwards.

"Of course you look pretty, Mina. You know you're beautiful. I think I am telling you often enough, aren't I?", he asks, tries to sound less tense than he feels, more chill instead, at ease, full on cool. Just peachy.

"Then... I mean, I know we said we'd like to wait, but I think we should take the next step. With you coming here and all, I thought about it and I think- I think we should have sex. You know, go all the way?", she says, bites her bottom lip while she grinds down on him just a bit, lets out a soft, high moan. Jisung gasps, grabs onto her thighs more firmly. He groans out, morning wood not necessarily helping his case. But he holds her firmly enough to make her stop moving as well. "I'm ready. And it's your birthday, so what better gift could there be than this?"

His mind is racing, going all kinds of places. In general, he knows this is the absolute perfect opportunity. He could sleep with Minh-A - Mina, lose his virginity on his twenty first birthday to someone he knows for sure cares about him, someone he trusts and has been with for months. They have done oral before too, far more than once, each time having done the job enough for Jisung to not even consider going further.

He once thought he could only sleep with someone he would be married to, his wife on their wedding night. He has strayed since then to accepting someone he would simply see has his potential forever person, someone he can imagine a full on future with, said he would let it happen if it happened and the time was right. Mina is right here, straight up offering, is dressed in lingerie in his favorite color, made herself look extra pretty to impress him, make his gift more memorable. He is hard, thanks to male human biology, has her sitting on him already, their most private areas separated by two very thin layers of fabric, both their underwear being such.

He could have it all. He could let himself go, make a promise, tell Felix in private later what happened earlier in the day and maybe get a repeat tonight after coming home. But for some reason, no matter how stunning and wonderful and ready Mina is, no matter how much he knows he can trust her, he does not feel like he can cross that line with her just yet. It does not feel right. His heart is not ready.

Maybe talking to Felix is what he needs. Maybe he needs to have some sort of rant and panic moment, then receive some encouraging words and a slap on the back before claiming his present at night. But maybe Jisung is also just plain stupid and a total asshole. Because his next words are definitely not the right thing to say.

"Can I think about it?" The question is out before he can stop it, Mina's hand now slipping out from under his shirt to rest on top of it instead, her whole existence slumping in on itself. He knows immediately that he fucked up, sees the hurt on her features, the watering of her eyes. But he reacts quickly, sits up to hold her face in his hands to at least make her turn her face towards him, even if her eyes are not following. "No, no, it's not you, Mina, it's me.", he says, mentally slaps himself for only saying more of the wrong things, "You're beautiful, baby. You look incredible and believe me, I would, but... I can't, I - it's so sudden. I haven't... you know I haven't done any of this yet. I was also not expecting to anytime soon. So please. Let me make you feel good, then let us spend the day together, go to Felix's show like we planned and talk again after everything is done? Let me... let me think, wrap my head around things. It wouldn't be fair to either of us if I just agreed and we did it right now."

He thinks he has deescalated the situation rather well. Especially considering that he thinks what he has said is more than valid. Mina refuses his help though, stating she is no longer in the mood, but still gets up from the bed to get herself dressed. Jisung notices that she is keeping the lingerie on, just puts clothes over it. Her university sweater and a pair of tight denims. Knowing her, she will stay in that outfit until the show. So Jisung finds his own pair of jeans, more on the looser side, darker, pairs it with a white shirt and an oversized, dark green jacket. Works well enough for their birthday date with far too much tension and a very clear disappointment always evident from Mina.

She spends more time on her phone, speaks less, does not necessarily smile at him either. Not properly at least, but more forced. He can tell because he knows her well enough. And he understands, really. Because gathering the courage to tell someone that you want to sleep with them, want to give them one of the most important memories you might ever make, then being rejected, is a strong blow to the heart, the self esteem. But at least for today he was hoping for her to be just a little more understanding. He was overwhelmed and it is his birthday. It would be nice not to worry too much on a day that should be so nice.

When he mentions briefly over a text to Felix when they are on their way to the performance location that they are close by and currently not in the best position towards one another, Felix only tells him not to worry, because he will make sure they are going to make up in no time. Jisung might not know what his plan is, but he trusts Felix like no other. So he hopes he would not regret doing so now either.

They take the seats they were assigned, side by side and right at the edge of the seating area at that. Jisung figures Felix wanted to make sure they could take as many toilet breaks as needed. Especially because Mina tends to drink either a slushy or two or a whole lot of iced coke, whenever they go to any kind of event. Like that one time Seungmin had a baseball game and they went to watch. She was constantly using the bathroom then and Jisung learned to adjust from then on. Be it for sports or music events or even the movie theater. It is the least he can do.

She is not looking up from her phone much, still very clearly upset, no matter how hard Jisung tries to make her feel better today. They went out and all he could do was still just to make sure he would at least try to do whatever he possibly could to make her smile, somehow pay more attention to him, acknowledge his existence. And maybe he is also upset, just a bit. Maybe he wishes today was easier, more about him, less actual work from him. Maybe it is selfish to think so. But Jisung thinks he has the right to complain in his head at least, even if he sounds like a privileged little kid who did not get his way. Sue him.

When Felix said before that the venue and the group of volunteer university student staff responsible for making sure the whole event would go well, took inspiration by American sports events for the entertainment in between performances, he was not lying. There is a kiss cam first, a lookalike cam the next break, then the kiss cam again. Jisung watches the big screens at the back of the stage, thinks it is cute how the audience reacted to the previous two breaks, how there was laughter and applause, and an overall lightened atmosphere, minus the still very grumpy and distracted Mina, sitting right next to Jisung, between him and the isle next to their seat area, separating them from the next block of seats and people.

Though he is still surprised when the kiss cam starts for the second time, but settles on them. Him and Mina, one looking up in surprise, the other not looking up at all, clearly pissed off about something.

"Mina, hey- we're-", he says, turns towards her to speak, stunned, but certainly not opposed to joining the game along with everyone else. She waves him off immediately, swats his hand away when he reaches over.

"Not now, Jisung.", she grumbles.

The camera moves on to the next couple, Jisung huffs, slumps into his seat. But when it returns to him and Mina once again, he curses Felix in his head for probably interrogating the shit out of whoever is in charge of the kiss cam to have tried with Jisung and Mina for a second time. No matter how unlike him it is to push a finger into the wound, try again after the first time was already so fucking humiliating. But even when Jisung tries to wave the camera off, it does not budge, stays pointing at them. Seriously, he is going to curse him out, be all pissy about it later at the party. This is not helping and it is not funny either.

"Mina, seriously-", he tries again, does not get far at all though because she snaps at him immediately, unknowingly right in front of the eyes of the entire crowd of people currently gathered here for the performance.

"What about not now do you not understand? I'm busy."

"What the fuck is your issue today?"

"My issue? Nothing. Just me putting myself out there, just for you to still have to think about it. So let me think too. For once, just let me-"

"Jisung."

They stop instantly. Mina because she has been interrupted, Jisung because... well, because he is stunned into silence, breath stuck in his throat. He must be dreaming. This- no, no, no, it cannot possibly-

He blinks once, then wills his gaze up and past his girlfriend, settling on the exact man standing beside her in the isle that she is now turning to look at as well. But Jisung cannot possibly see her anymore when his eyes have caught sight of him. The bane of his existence, the ruin of his purity, the siren luring him towards an irreversible step into a direction far too deep into roaring, wild waters. The constant presence in every single more or less successfully suppressed emotion and memory, every single fantasy he has kept from escaping- everything. Every ugly and bad and sinful, yet beautiful and nice and heart-fluttering, deep affection one could ever have for another.

The echoing sound of the prettiest laughter, returning images of the most stunning smile, the addictive taste of the most stunningly sculpted pair of lips. It all comes back, start to finish, all of it right now. He cannot see his own face, does not dare look away and at the camera to see either. How could he? How could he when he is still trying to make sense of him being here right now? If he looks away, will he vanish again? Forever this time?

And looking at his heaving chest, as if he ran up here, in a hurry for some reason, Jisung instantly knows, realizes that it was not Felix who made the camera seek Jisung out again. It cannot possibly have been Felix, because it has to have been him. To find him, to run to him, know where he is exactly because he just had to see him again, closer. Jisung knows. He knows because he thinks that even after two years apart, he still knows him better than anyone. And if not, would he be willing to learn again?

"Minho?", he whispers, sound barely able to come out right, but it is enough for Minho to react just enough, to look at him with teary eyes of his own, in absolute disbelief, staring at him like he as well had never expected for it to happen. Actually so. But all Jisung can do for now is to speculate. It is all he is able to do.

He blinks repeatedly, tries to see if the image vanishes, if the man himself does. But it is not working. He is right here right now, right in front of him, looking back at him with just as many conflicting battles in his mind upon seeing him as Jisung has as well.

"Who are you?", Mina speaks up, breaks the seemingly endless, longing, conflicted stares between them. Her voice is what has Minho's eyes looking at her just once and for a good second at most before he turns back to Jisung, seemingly more conflicted than he was before.

Jisung can almost see it all too vividly. The pain, the worry, the hope. Flashing and flashing until he balls his hands to fists by his sides, takes a deep breath and reaches out, one hand outstretched towards him now in a very clear offer.

It should be harder to decide, should not be this easy to act. Jisung has a girlfriend, pretty, lovely, faithful, loved by his parents. She is sitting right fucking next to him at that. Currently right between Jisung and the man he has never been able to fully erase from his entirely rewritten genetic code, the one that has had Minho's name on it for the past two years, waiting, hoping, praying. He even dreamed of him this morning. It almost feels like he wished hard enough for god to grant him this wish, bring him back, take him to the one person he knows for a fact he would never not choose.

It is wrong, so wrong. Not right to do, objectively speaking. But Jisung does not care anymore. He could be engaged at this point and he would still choose the same, would still reach up and ignore Mina's presence, ready to apologize at any later point in time rather than now and ruining the moment. He would still make the exact choice he is making right now, would hold Minho's hand and let himself be pulled onto his feet, standing for just a split second before his weak legs are moving with just another pull from Minho. He climbs past Mina, who is still trying to protest, but stays unheard, realizes it soon enough though to finally put her phone away and actually pay attention. Not that it matters anymore though.

Minho looks at him like he can still not believe his own eyes, looks at him like seeing Jisung again in this very moment is like the completion of a huge puzzle with thousands of tiny, oddly shaped pieces. He lets his free hand wander when they are finally standing close enough, right in front of each other. He gently swipes a strand of hair out of Jisung's face, obviously noticing the length that was not there quite like this the last time, but seemingly approving nonetheless. And all Jisung can do is to stare and study and observe, then lean into the warmth of Minho's palm on his cheek. So familiar, yet foreign as well. A bit rougher than it used to be. Two years. They have not seen each other in two years.

"How the fuck are you even prettier now?", Minho asks, the world around them long forgotten about, tuned out way before the electrifying touch of skin, the tingling feeling of everything nice that comes with feelings, proper affection. Real ones at least. Everything he has missed in those two years is all here now. Right here for him to just grab and hold and never let go of again.

He knows he does not have to say anything. All it takes is one look into feline eyes, his free hand grasping Minho's shirt. They both move simultaneously, neither of them able to tell to reacted first and it does not matter anyway. Like they are pulled in by an invisible string and wordless, mutual understanding, lips are meeting in the middle, crashing into each other and immediately moving in a familiarly dizzying, longing tango. Two years might have passed, but Minho still tastes the same. Still so addictive and all consuming and everything Jisung could ever want, has ever needed to do something as full on simple and mundane as to just breathe.

They kiss like they missed nothing more, pull and hold each other closer like it is the only way they know how. Yet it is Jisung who pulls away first.

"Minho, I- I never gave up, I swear I didn't, but I can't believe you're here, I-", another kiss, shutting himself up, "It's- my wish. I wished for you. I dreamed of you and now you're just here?"

He is smiling through the tears, lets himself be admired, smiled at with the same amount of brightness he is giving.

"Never stopped hoping, sweetheart. Never stopped thinking about you.", he tells him back, gets him to giggle at the flattery, pulls him in just once more for another quick peck. Their smiles are not necessarily making it possible for them to do much else anyway. So Minho takes the opportunity to hold his face again, wipe his tears off his face.

The crowd is going full on crazy, is escalating in all sorts of ways. It is then that they look back towards the monitors and see themselves for just another moment, until the knowledge of everyone just having witnessed the entirety of their reunion scene becomes too much to handle and Jisung is being grabbed at the collar of his green jacket, yanked back forcefully.

"Jisung, what the actual fuck?! You're my boyfriend, why would you just kiss someone like that? A man?!"

Mina is furious, reaches up her other arm to slap him across the face like he probably very much deserves. But the impact never comes, to a point where Jisung forces his eyes to open again, just to see Minho, holding both her wrists to stop her from hitting Jisung.

But she still has every right to be mad, no matter how elated Jisung is to see Minho again. He refused her gift in the morning instead of gratefully accepting it, then went straight ahead and kissed the first guy that came to see him when she did not look up from her phone to just kiss him, make up and satisfy whatever part of the audience that cared enough. And Felix. That crazy chick with the terrible ideas.

"I don't care that you're a woman, honey, because I'll fight back if you hurt him.", Minho threatens her, gaze not backing down, hard, piercing, full on sexy. Jisung is being ridiculous. How could he think so now, in this very situation? But then again... how could he not?

"He's my boyfriend, you sick fuck!", sick, sick, sick... yeah. Maybe that describes him best. Jisung, not Minho. Infected years ago, terminally. No way to be cured. Not even god thought them best apart. She brought them back together.

"I've waited two fucking years for this moment. Had you not been there, I would have taken what I want immediately, not waited and offered first.", Minho states.

"Are you saying you waiting to kiss my boyfriend was you being considerate!?", she yells out, camera long having moved on to another form of entertainment in hopes of distracting the audience for another moment at least, until the next group would have to dance. But those sitting closely around the trio are still here, still able to listen, still doing so to some more or less voluntary extent. Material to talk about during tea time. "You're disgusting! Jisung, I don't care about this show anymore. Let's go home. Now."

"Jisung,", Minho speaks up then, giving him another option, "please come back to me, baby."

He looks between them like he is considering either given option, when in reality, his mind was already made up years ago. But he was in a relationship for months at this point, even brought her home to meet his parents. His parents, who will most certainly get to hear all about this very day from Mina once she leaves the venue without Jisung by her side. He likes Mina though. Maybe not in any similar way to the pull towards, the fire between him and Minho, the connection found only once in a lifetime, but he does like her a lot. Hurting her like this was not his plan.

"I'm sorry.", he says, not looking at either of the two tense people right in front of him. Then he does, shifts his gaze towards Mina with an apologetic smile. "For this morning, for just now. I hope you can find it in you to forgive me one day for hurting you like this. You deserve better, Mina and I hope you'll find someone great. Someone who can love you like you should be loved. But I already handed my heart over two years ago."

He hugs her stunned state, pecks her on the forehead just one last time, then takes Minho's hand again and lets himself be led away. They smile at each other, hearts beating faster, both of them full of adrenaline that makes their mutual running feel more like floating among the clouds. Minho leads him back down from the audience to the off-stage area arranged for the dancers and their closest friends and family.

Jisung does his best to ignore Chan and Changbin, both looking at him from the other side of the block with the best view of the stage, tries what he can to zone out and ignore the fact that they most certainly have questions and will demand answers that Jisung is not yet able to give.

Minho leads him to the only empty seat, his own name on it, as if it was waiting for someone all along. But he knows from Felix that every dancer gets a seat with their name on it for one person to come and watch them from an extra special spot. Considering that Minho's seat is empty, only makes him more hopeful. Sad, knowing his parents would not come anyway, but hopeful that he seems to be single as well. Because a boyfriend would be here to see and support him. Jisung knows that he most certainly would.

When Jisung is seated, Minho leans down to give him another kiss. One for good measure, for good luck. Jisung will kiss him as many times as possible from here on out.

"Let's talk after the show? They've had to put a group before us because I was too preoccupied to be on stage in time so... watch me? I'll come and get you as soon as we're done. Promise."

He nods in agreement, sends him off and grins from ear to ear once he is left alone. His cheeks are hot, probably flushed more than they should be, considering how he is a man and getting all like this from kissing another male. Yet at this point he does not even care anymore. His parents will hear all about what happened today and they will be upset and Jisung cannot get himself to care at all. Two years. Two years of waiting, growing restless, tired, losing hope to some extent. He was waiting for the impossible, the forbidden, something he knows he should have never wanted as much as he does. Yet here he is. In the audience of his best friend's dance competition, having so many questions, but also none at all. He changed his entire future plan, came to another university because it felt right. Just for all of it to lead him right back to the one person he knows he was made to be with. If nothing else already was, today should be the biggest sign.

Fate has funny ways of operating sometimes.

It brings Jisung this delinquent looking individual, makes him disrupt the entirety of him going to his favorite place, turns it into a place of painfully beautiful memories of devotion, sin, deep affection. It has him questioning, has him wanting to give his all to the young man, just to then take him away from him again. It makes him struggle and suffer and work through everything until he finally reaches a state of wanting to at least try and move on for good, just to make him dream the morning of his birthday, relapse, push away the person he could have been with so very comfortably.

And then it goes ahead, goes a step further and takes him right back out of the life he was beginning to slip back into, just to reunite him with everything he thought he had left at camp that last summer he went.

Fate is cruel, if nothing else. It is mean and mischievous and sometimes god gets bored and plays around with her creations. That is what Jisung has concluded at some point. He is nothing but a temporary source of entertainment for her.

Apparently she thought it was exceptionally funny to keep Minho's whereabouts from him. Thought it was so hilarious to keep from him that Minho and Felix are part of a dance trio, have probably been dancing together for at least as long as Felix has been at uni for. But Felix never really mentioned more about his dance group than them being two guys he gets along with great and that one of them is in a relationship with Changbin, which is how they got closer as a group as well. Who would have thought that besides Hyunjin whom Jisung has already seen on Changbin's lock screen, his Minho would be the one to complete Felix's circle of newfound dancer friends. All at the same university Jisung will be attending very soon as well.

He had already known him to be a dancer before, but today is the first time he is actually seeing him in action. The perfectly executed motions from all three, fluidity at its best, a dance solo each, one of them lethal on a whole new level. Regular Minho is already devastatingly hot. But dancer Minho is on a whole new level, a whole other plane of existence. Jisung cannot avert his eyes even once, mind going places, mouth uselessly hanging open while he tries and tries not to blink any more than necessary, so he would not miss a single second, engrave the entire performance into his brain, add it to Minho's signature on his genetic code. He does not miss the wink Minho throws at him from the stage, smug smirk on his lips, chest heaving, sweat dripping. He is perfect and Jisung has missed him even more than he initially already thought and for a fact knew he had.

As soon as the three are free to leave the stage, all of them supposed to stay back to talk to their professor before leaving the show for good and returning home, Jisung can only watch from a distance how Minho says something to Hyunjin and Felix, then turns away from them to walk off in quick steps, right to where Jisung is seated in the audience. He does not need to talk, only holds out his hand and once again, Jisung grabs it without any hesitation, pretty much almost running out of the actual venue and onto the street, hands not separating even once. Not even when Minho waves the first cab over that is waiting outside, opens the door and only looks back to check if Jisung is still there, still on board, still alright. But Jisung is too far gone not to want to go absolutely anywhere with him anyway at this point. So following him into a cab first, then staring at his side profile when he leans forward to tell the driver his address, is a very small step of hopefully many more to follow.

When Minho is finally looking at him again, everything quiet, no one there but the two of them, Jisung just wants to cry. He wants to sob and wail and disintegrate into Minho's embrace. He had already thought he was the most stunning at almost twenty one. But now, at almost twenty three, Jisung freshly twenty one, the man has only gotten impossibly more attractive. Only two years, yet he looks so much more mature, features impossibly sharper, he himself looking bigger overall as well. At least from what Jisung can tell with Minho being fully clothed, sweaty and stunning. All his and right here with him, right back by his side where Jisung thinks he belongs anyway. He might as well just accept that Jisung would not let him leave ever again, get comfortable and crawl right into his warm nest he has built and grown into over time. Minho seems equally as enthralled by the sight of him though, must have noticed how Jisung spent more time at the gym, how his chest and shoulders have gotten wider. He has definitely noticed his longer hair, the full cheeks on a face a lot more mature than it was before. They have both grown into proper men when apart, will continue to do so when together, from here on out. Jisung only needs to look him in the eyes to know Minho will not let him slip away again either.

"I missed you.", Jisung tells him, only able to let out a whisper. But he is scared to raise his voice further, does not want to ruin the moment or risk his voice cracking in this very moment, "I thought... there was not a single day I did not think about you.", he continues, watches him intently, every single reaction of his, "I have so many questions, want to know what happened after you left camp. But... No matter what happens this time, if you're where you wanted to be yet or not, but please don't leave me again."

Minho shakes his head, reaches up with both of his hands to cup Jisung's face, hold him like he is going to shatter if he is just a little too forceful with him.

"I'm not leaving again, Jisung. Not for as long as it takes for you to push me away on your own. I'll stay forever if you'll have me.", he promises, smiles a small, affectionate smile. He means every single word he says and Jisung knows because he knows Minho. He believes absolutely every single thing coming out of his mouth, those pretty lips of his. "We can talk about everything when we reach my apartment. I promise I'll tell you everything. But right now, all you need to know is that I cannot believe you were so fucking close this entire time and I would have come to you, had I known you are Yongbok's friend. I was hoping to see you again, but you actually being here right now? Fuck, baby, it's almost too good to be true. You'll never know how much I missed you, Jisung. But if you'll let me, I'll spend however long it may take to show you."

He is the first to move this time, unable to hold back any longer from kissing him. Minho is the one who taught him and Jisung gives his all, trying to show him how great of a student he's been, still remembering everything so well. Minho just lets him, follows his lead and lets him keep doing his thing until he can no longer just take it. He hums into the kiss, grabs him by the waist and pulls, swallows Jisung's noises when they deepen their entanglement. All while Jisung climbs onto Minho's lap, fingers grabbing and tugging on his damp hair to get him to make more noises, tighten his grip on him more, go crazy, lose control.

"You're crazy if you think I'll let you leave me again. Fuck that.", he pants against Minho's lips, darts out his tongue to lick over his own bottom one, wet from a mix of their saliva. "I just left my girlfriend for you without thinking twice about it. What makes you think I would give up on us now that we will be so close? I'm staying here. I'll start Uni here this semester. And I'll make sure I'll have a boyfriend during all of it."

"So you'll already let me call you my boyfriend then?"

"Oh hell yes.", he replies, kisses him again, fully sits down on his perfect thighs, thick and strong and his very own and personal, favorite seat. "You're stuck with me now. I'll have to come out to my extremely religious parents or something and you'll have to make me forget about it all afterwards."

"Yeah? How so?", he smirks, lures him in, pulls him down deeper and deeper into the bottom of the sea.

"Break me in tonight, then make it last every single time afterwards."

It wipes the smirk off Minho's lips, draws his brows together, head falling back against the seat with a deep groan, a tightening grip on Jisung's waist that soon slides further down until he is holding both his cheeks over the fabric of his jeans. Jisung only feels a little sorry for the cab driver, because he is sure the man has probably seen worse than this, working in the campus area.

"Jisung, sweetheart, you were gone for two years, but came back to me all ready to be ruined like this? Looking for trouble by learning how to speak like that? Careful, baby."

"I was ready to give myself to you back then already. I had the chance with Mina this morning and it felt wrong to just go ahead and do it, despite having dated for months at this point. But you? How come you just step back into my space after being absent for such a long time, yet I would still cross that line with and break all my rules for you immediately, no questions asked? You confuse me Minho. You ruin me. Nothing makes sense anymore whenever you are around. Not then and not now.", Jisung tells him, decides to bleed just a little bit because it is just them right now and he wants Minho to know, needs him to hear, "I think something in me just kept waiting, hoping that you would finally and officially make me yours one day. I want to feel you. Want you to feel good with me. Different than last time, because I did proper research and I need you to just do me already. We can apologize to everyone else later."

Another kiss, the dizzying drag of tongues. So addictive, all consuming. But Minho is not one to complain. Especially not this time, now that he has him back.

"Okay.", he says, promises, lures, voice just the sweetest poison. It simply cannot be anything but pathetic of Jisung's heart to skip a beat like it does, for his insides to do all sorts of flips and twists like being on a rollercoaster ride. Yet the sheer prospect of knowing that the moment they reach Minho's apartment, Jisung will finally be able to fully become his like he has wanted to for two full years, has him exhilarated like nothing else ever has. Minho, Minho, Minho. The only thing he can think of is Minho. Honestly, Jisung's obsession, his devotion to the man is truly the saddest of sights. What will his parents say when hearing about tonight's events from Mina first, then Jisung and the man he has given himself to afterwards? It should hold him back, keep him from acting like a fool. But nothing could ever. "I'll prepare a five page letter, including a sappy as shit poem about your ass to give to your parents, will include two additional pages, thanking them for your existence and after everything I'll fuck you in my car somewhere on the way back to campus. But we'll start tonight in my apartment, just you and me, easing you in before seeing our friends for some free food. How's that sound, hm?"

Jisung thinks it sounds like an absolutely perfect dream come true.

They spare the cab driver of seeing or hearing anything beyond some additional promises and kisses, the occasional needy moan. Minho tips him generously for the trouble they caused and all the man does in return is to laugh and wink when he says:
"If this is what you tip me after all that already, I'll let you fuck on my backseat instead of yours when you go deliver that letter to his parents!"

Minho drags him out of the car, hand in hand when he leads him inside the building, surprisingly nice and fancy with some security guy at the entrance who seems happy enough to see Minho, but does not ask about Jisung either. Best case scenario. They behave in the elevator because Minho knows there are cameras and he would not want anyone to see Jisung in any publicly unnecessary manner. But that does not stop Jisung at all from snuggling closer in his embrace, keep his arms around Minho to tug him closer, kiss and suck along the side of his neck, the man's skin still salty from the lingering sheen of sweat from his dance performance, which Jisung does not mind at all. All while Minho keeps whispering to him, sinful messages, praise because he is being so good to him, possessive comments about not ever letting him leave ever again and all sorts of little things about how he cannot wait to see him again, feel him again.

The moment they have stepped inside Minho's apartment, Jisung is the one who has Minho pushed against the nearest wall in the hallway, kissing and kissing like a starved man in the desert who just came across the very first and only water source in days. Minho's hands never stop wandering, are on his waist first, then all over his torso, his arms, exploring him over his clothes to the best of his abilities. Jisung swallows the groans he feeds him with, gladly so. His insides become all fluttery and weak, knowing that Minho apparently really likes his frame despite the change that occurred over time, Jisung himself just overall broader than he used to be. He lets Minho when the older adjusts their positions, hands on Jisung's hips when he slips his thigh in between his legs, then moves to grab both his clothed cheeks to pull him against it, help him grind and -

"Oh fuck~", he slurs against Minho's mouth, both of them having pulled apart just enough to be able to properly look at one another, Jisung with slightly parted lips and his brows drawn together, Minho with dark eyes and a smug grin. He lets himself be led in a steady rhythm, rolling his hips against Minho's thigh like the pathetically horny being that he apparently is and fuck how much he likes it. Fuck how good it feels to be handled again, by Minho. Fuck how he could swear that his thigh is thicker than it already was, the man himself, just like Jisung as well, having gotten broader, manlier. Impossibly more sexy. And Jisung could come like this if he wanted to, would come like this, looking into Minho's eyes the entire time throughout, if he had not already set his mind on a very important mission long ago. So he shakes his head before he can change his mind, before he would get too lost in the pleasure to still be able to back out. "Not like this. Don't wanna come like this."

"No?", Minho grins, so sure, so full of himself. He is making the rules to a game they have both decided to play, lets Jisung pull back regardless. "I liked when you did last time. Too cute when you fall apart like that."

Jisung shakes his head once again, decides to push the boundaries, play how he is supposed to, yet tether on the very edge of overdoing it, needing to be punished. Maybe he would actually like that though. Not for tonight, but he will keep the option open. He places both his hands on Minho's chest to push off of him, swallows down the whimper that is threatening to come out at the loss of pressure against his front to keep himself steady instead, keep up their eye contact, not break the tension in the air. So hot and heavy, like a thick fog he cannot find the way back out of. He takes a few steps backwards. Maybe two, maybe three, he has no idea whatsoever. Not that it matters anyway.

He sheds his jacket off his person, lets it fall to the ground, then grabs the hem of his shirt to pull it over his head, reveal his lean, yet toned torso to the man in front of him who cannot stop his own dark eyes from wandering and full on admiring him like Jisung has been waiting to be admired. No one ever looked at him like Minho does, no one ever sees him like Minho does. His hands drop to the front of his denims next to cup himself over the fabric, moan out in a deep, needy tone he purposely uses to provoke the other, watch that shift, the glint in his feline gaze. Jisung's bottom lip gets trapped between his own teeth, Minho's Adam's apple bobs where he stays rooted in one spot, watching, indulging, feasting with his gaze alone to take in the fruit of his own labor, the sight of the guy he has already ruined to such a sinfully sweet extend.

When Jisung unbuttons his pants, then pulls down the zipper, he takes his sweet time. He lets them drop, easily so due to their bagginess and wastes no time afterwards pulling his underwear down as well. Minho's breath hitches noticeably, the sharp intake of air through his nostrils clearly audible in the otherwise silent apartment. And Jisung feels no ounce of shame, standing in front of Minho like this, leaking and hard and fully bare, no fabric left he could hide behind. He gulps, decides to deal the final blow. Because he is the one who holds the power this time. Minho is objectively more experienced, yes, but Jisung has had years to do research, dwell on fantasy scenarios, write songs about a very specific person.

"Tell me where and I'll let you have me."

It is like Minho jolts awake from having been in some sort of semi-conscious state up to that point. Because he moves instantly, crashes his lips into Jisung's to kiss him all messy and hungry until he is all drowsy from it, unable to protest at all when the man pulls away again to crouch down, grab him firmly to then throw him over his shoulder with ease. The display of strength has Jisung reeling, glad he is currently not relying on his legs to have any strength at all.

He yelps when a hand collides with his ass like assessing a price, lips pressing against the side of his hip for a kiss. It has him giggling in return and Minho smiles from where he is, proud and happy and on the go to finally carry Jisung through the hallway and living room, past the kitchen and another two closed doors, before opening another and entering. He stops walking for a moment, a solid few seconds of silence that Jisung makes use of to take a glance around the room just long enough to locate the placement of his bed, a desk, a wardrobe, a shelf that is filled to the brim with books in all sizes. Then Minho uses one of his hands to squeeze one of Jisung's ass cheeks, pulls just enough for Jisung to get confused for just a moment. A moment that lasts until Minho turns around and Jisung can see it. A full body mirror. Minho just took a moment to take a proper look at Jisung through it. Got lost in the sight, memories of the last time he saw that part of him, tasted that part of him.

His back lands on soft sheets, the impact causing a cloud of smell to waft up, the smell of pure Minho invading the last of Jisung's senses, making him drowsy, dizzy, full on drunk on the man as a whole.

Veiny hands on both his ankles, a firm pull until Jisung's ass is hanging off the mattress and his legs are spread apart, dark, feline eyes, the most stunning of all, taking in the sight of him like there is nothing more precious, nothing more perfect and beautiful in the whole world. Without needing anything else, Jisung believes him everything. He did so last time and he does so now. Always would.

"I'll say it and I won't accept a single complaint,", Minho tells him, one hand on the back of his thigh to push, keep him in place, the other resting on his abdomen, just avoiding his leaking erection, "but dear god, Jisung, you're so fucking perfect. Thought it was impossible for you to get any prettier, but there's certain moments in which I will gladly accept being proven wrong."

Jisung just groans out, watches Minho when he retreats for just a moment and stays in his current position while he waits for him to return, now holding a pink bottle Jisung knows to be lube. It is not completely full and knowing that he has been with people other than him, obviously so and as unreasonable as it is of him to feel that way, has his insides twisting in jealousy. He has no right, but feels it anyway, the tug further away from rationality, down into a place someone like Jisung was never supposed to get down into. And MInho kisses him when he notices that something is wrong, and as sweet as he is, asks Jisung if he said something wrong. Jisung only shakes his head.

"It's stupid."

"Jisung, darling, nothing you say is stupid. What is bothering you, hm? Want to stop? I won't be mad. Not now or ever. I know we are rushing through this because we literally just found each other again and if you're not ready yet, then we can just-", he tries, lets himself be shut up with a kiss regardless.

"Sorry. I'm sorry. But please don't think I don't want this because I know I'm ready and I really want to keep going.", Jisung says, holds Minho's face in both his hands while the other looks down on him with the gentlest, most affectionate, patient expression. Jisung might be in far too deep. "It's stupid, but I guess it just dawned to me that you were obviously with other people while we were apart and I have no right to complain because I had a girlfriend until literally a few hours ago, but I suck and what if I'm not good enough after all? Or-"

"Yeah, stop right there, because there is no way you could ever not be enough when you are the only one I want to be with, Jisung. In every single sappy love story type of way imaginable.", Minho says, "I stayed home after camp and behaved until I could leave with all my money. Took a trip through Europe and had celebration travel sex with maybe two guys during that time. Concentrated on life when I came back, started uni as planned and there was just one guy in my first semester I saw a few times, but nothing since. I'm telling you because I want you to know everything and not worry. They didn't mean anything to me, Jisung. But you, baby, you mean absolutely everything. I never lost hope, but it wasn't easy to always be thinking of you, having those newfound standards, but no one who could ever even come close. I tried to move on, but it never worked."

Anyone else would probably not have this type of conversation in this very situation, but Jisung thinks there is nothing more fitting than for them to be a full on mess together anyway. And Minho is trying to start their joint future on a clean slate, the truth, the knowledge that they would both not ever keep anything from one another. Jisung kisses him again, tells him to keep going, spreads his legs back apart and lets himself be kissed through most of Minho's pre-prep-prep. But he can hear it all. The sound of unasked questions swirling through Minho's own mind, a bottle cap being opened, the wet sound of lube being squeezed out, then warmed between fingers. Minho pulls back to look at him, to raise a brow in question, receive a clear nod.

When the tip of Minho's finger touches his unopened rim, gently rubs against it as if just giving him the gentlest massage, Jisung gulps, decides to come clean as well.

"I never went back to camp after that time I met you. It hurt too much. Was a mess for so long, always crying and trying so hard to do the right thing, return back to normal, be who I was supposed to be. I met one friend at law school, got drunk for the first time, made out with him.", he says, watches Minho intently, eyes never leaving his because he is busy reading him, watching every shift, the clear distaste he is trying to hide because he knows just as well that he has no right to complain. They separated after all. Of course they would be with other people afterwards. But Jisung is glad to know that it bothers Minho regardless, some twisted part inside of him has him all giddy from it.

"Yeah? How far did you go? How was it?", he asks, but Jisung knows he is asking out of curiosity, as well as pride, possessiveness. He knows Jisung is still a virgin. He simply wants to know if he is the reason for it to at least some extent. Not just because Jisung tried to go back to being the faithful little church boy he was before.

"Only kissed, some grinding, upper body stuff. He's.. not like you. He's just a friend.", Jisung continues, gasps when Minho's finger finally breaches him, eases his way inside of him so very carefully. "Met Mina a few months ago when trying to apply for the music program at Felix's uni. My parents love her, she's nice...name's uhm... 's similar enough."

Minho gulps, adds to the still foreign feeling of his finger inside Jisung, keeps his composure, eases another finger in alongside the other. He does not want to hear more, concentrates on Jisung instead, on kissing him through the added stretch, repeatedly whispering to him, anything along the lines of how well he is doing, how perfect he is, how good for him. He does not start moving his fingers until Jisung tells him to.

It does feel strange at first, but Jisung has already felt it before, a finger inside of him. The second one is new. More present, the stretch more noticeable. But with Minho right here, holding him, kissing him through it, his body adjusts easily. His hole swallows both digits greedily and the moment Minho crooks them upwards to change his angle, Jisung is letting out a long, high-pitched whine, legs twitching. Minho removes his fingers completely then, taps against Jisung's inner thighs to help him move them a little further apart.

"Sit up, baby. Want you to see.", he instructs, grabs a pillow to help him sit and stay up a bit, clean fingers grabbing onto his chin to peck him just once, then turn him towards the mirror, watching himself sitting on the edge of the bed, fully erect and leaking, legs spread to give him the perfect view of his glistening rim. His heart does a strange flip, eyes are glazing over. Not once has he seen himself like this, looked at himself from this angle, in this way. He cannot remember ever having looked at his asshole in the first place and most certainly not with it all wet and winking at him almost provokingly when he clenches, now that it has been opened up, has been stuffed with two fingers. And he can see Minho next to him, their eyes meeting through their reflections, "Want you to watch me getting you ready. If you're good and listen to me, I will give you a reward."

"W-what's the reward?"

"Me and the best orgasm you've ever had."

Enough to have him motivated, determined. Minho kisses him once more for good luck, then makes him look right back into the mirror. He lubes up his fingers again, more, watches Jisung intently in the mirror, both of them unable to look away anyway. Two fingers push back into him easily and Jisung groans in a mixture of shame and arousal, seeing himself, his body, opening up like this. But he stays good, stays obedient, does exactly what Minho told him to because he always would, knows what his reward will be. But Minho only grazes that spot inside of him teasingly, barely, not even nearly enough. On purpose, Jisung figures, knows for sure. Because he wants Jisung to feel his best, fall even deeper, have these images of his most private parts, those absolutely no one but Minho has ever gotten to see quite like this, burned into his memory. He wants Jisung to see how stunning Minho knows he is, wants him to see what he is capable of, what his body is willing to do for Minho, for the two of them.

"Mmmminho, more... more, more, moremoremore~", he chants, voice gradually getting higher, whinier. He can tell Minho loves it, can see his smirk, feels the pecks he litters wherever he can reach, as well as the burning intensity of those eyes of his that keep on finding his, keep making sure he is being as good as they both know he is.

When Minho gives him more, with Jisung not having specified either in which way he meant it, no matter how obvious it is to both of them, it is a simple addition of sinfulness. Because Minho completely stops teasing his prostate to spread his fingers apart, stretch him further, open him further, make him watch how easily he manages to do so, how taking his time with him is paying off in every way. Jisung cannot even complain, does not even notice the way his jaw just dropped, watching in wonder, curiosity, burning cheeks on both ends giving Minho the most wonderful view. When he adds a third finger, the stretch is even easier to get used to than the previous two. Jisung is a panting mess by the time Minho pulls out of him completely, leaving him all empty and grumbling in protest at the sheer audacity of no longer having him properly filled up anymore. Now that the stretch, the feeling of having something inside of him, having some part of Minho inside of him, has already become a new obsession of his.

Minho kisses the pout off his lips, then stands up, gets off the bed and steps right into Jisung's line of sight, right between his legs where he very much belongs anyway. He pulls his shirt over his head first, throws it somewhere neither of them cares enough about to pay much attention to. Not Minho, who has the most stunning of men right here in front of him, prepped properly and waiting for him. And not Jisung, who lets out a very appreciative sound, looking at him in pure awe, showing this much skin in front of him for the very first time. But he is stunning, sculpted to absolute perfection, defined, but not too much. Soft around the edges, visibly sturdy and strong and everything and more than Jisung imagined. There is a small scar on his abdomen, his wide chest is rising and falling in a pattern Jisung finds himself utterly transfixed on. He wants to touch him, wants to appreciate and worship him just like Minho has done to him too.
Soon. They have all the time in the world now to learn more, do more. Jisung can lick over those nipples another time. He is sure Minho would let him anyway if he just asked.

"Like what you see, sweetheart?", the older of the two chuckles, smirks, drops his hands down to his pants.

"You're fucking majestic, shut up o- oh.", Jisung is interrupted by the failure of his own brain, the system shutdown caused by the final sight of him once his pants drop to his ankles and Minho steps out of them. Turns out he was not only visually blessed in general and in every single aspect visible to most, but in his most private parts as well. Jisung can only swallow down a strange noise threatening to escape otherwise, the moment he sees him, hard and leaking and fucking big at that. Bigger than Jisung, noticeably so. He cannot not stare, cannot not gulp once again while salivating at the sight, the thought of Minho trying to fit all that inside of him. Jisung. Jisung's ass. And those thighs! Fuck how stunning they are, all bare and thick and- "How are you so fucking stunning?"

Minho chuckles shyly, blushes, flattered, pretty, cute cute cute, Jisung wants to put him inside his pocket and never let him leave ever again. He makes a mental note to give him more compliments from here on out, make sure he is hearing as often as possible just how wonderful he is.

"Not any more than you, my love. Nothing comes close.", Minho tells him and leans in once again, closes the distance between them to get impossibly closer, kiss Jisung with all the love and affection in the world, then pull back, just to look at him all the same. Jisung is truly blessed to have given his heart to the right person, has received Minho's back in a fair exchange. "Are you ready for me?"

"Yes.", he breathes out, wraps his arms around Minho's neck, rests them on his wide shoulders, hands in the man's hair. He smiles up at him and he swears he can see the stars in his eyes in return when he smiles back. This is them and this is exactly where they are supposed to be. "I was ready two years ago and I am ready now. I'm yours. Nothing will ever change about that."

Nothing can be done about both of them needing another kiss, fully falling into it while Minho lubes himself up, inhales sharply at the feeling, then rests his tip against Jisung's rim. The moment he pushes against him, Jisung gasps into the kiss and when his head finally breaches him, Jisung pulls back to look him in the eyes. He can see all the battles he is fighting, the way he tries his hardest to be careful, slow, gentle enough to not hurt or overwhelm him. And Jisung appreciates all of him so much that he wants him to see, wants him to know. He wants him to be able to notice the amount of pleasure he is giving him, the way Jisung is being so good, is pushing trough everything because of how much he wants him. Because he does. Jisung wants nothing more. Does not want anyone else to be doing this with.

He praises him through it, pushes and pushes, lets Jisung dig his nails into his back, lets him cling onto him as much as he needs to. And when he finally bottoms out, he releases a deep breath he was holding all along, then lets a long, drawn out groan out along with it. All while Jisung finds himself delirious, completely gone crazy, cockdrunk already from just this, proud to an even further extend about having managed to take all of him like this. He can feel Minho pulsing, twitching inside of him, feels so stretched out, so full and he fucking loves it. So much that he feels properly drowsy and drunk in the most dizzying of ways. Like he is floating on water, weightless.

"All yours, Jisung. I'm all yours.", he promises and pecks him on the forehead, insides flipping and jumping in all humanly possible expressions of joy. Jisung can see it in his eyes, can feel it in the way he touches him, handles him. Jisung smiles brightly, giggles like he is properly gone, then gasps when Minho rests his hand flat on his abdomen, pushes, has Jisung looking down at the scene. The older groans out. "Holy fuck, baby, can feel myself right here. You're incredible. So fucking perfect for me."

When Minho pulls back, Jisung feels like he is taking every remaining ounce of rationality he had left along with him, then replaces it with something else, something far more dangerous, when he pushes back inside. One hand on his hip, the other not leaving its position on Jisung's abdomen. Addicted. Jisung quickly finds himself addicted to the drag, the stretch, every single feeling the man evokes in him. Minho takes his time with him until Jisung gets properly used to him to the point of becoming restless and when he is just about to say something, ask for something he cannot quite place just yet, Minho is already acting. The next thrust in is a more forceful snap of his hips, angled differently and grazing against that one spot inside of Jisung Minho has been avoiding on purpose all along. It has his back arching off the bed, vision spotty and nails digging deeper, eliciting all sorts of noises out of the other in the process.

"Oh fuuuck! Oh my god, Minnnngghhhhh fuck-" The words slip out before he can stop them, have him twitching in shame as soon as he realizes. But Minho's smugness just grows in response, a proud laugh escaping his pretty lips before he decides to take it further, keep a steady rhythm, but increase his speed and force overall. He fucks Jisung just like he knows the younger deserves to be fucked, waits until he has him close enough to the edge before he grabs a hold of one of his hands, put it right where Minho's was resting on his abdomen before and thrusts once so he can feel it, knows what Minho was talking about. Jisung's noises have to be the prettiest sounds, the most beautiful melody, and Minho will do what he can to have him singing their siren song until he loses it completely.

Jisung can feel Minho right there with each thrust. Even more so when Minho uses both hands now to almost fold him in half so he can adjust his stance once again, fuck him deeper, let it build and built and built until-

"So fucking tight around me baby, sucking me in so greedily. You were made to be on my cock like this, Jisung, fuck.", Minho tells him, thrusts getting slightly sloppier with each word, "You're still the prettiest thing I've ever seen. So good. You're doing so, so good.", he continues, "Are you close, hm?" Jisung nods frantically, whimpers and whimpers and whimpers, eyes brimming with tears that finally start to fall, abdomen tied into a knot that keeps being pulled tighter and tighter. But his hand stays there all along, pushes down as he revels in the feeling, the sound, the knowledge that it is making Minho feel so much better as well.

"So close, Min-hooo fuckfuck - please. Wanna come on your cock, baby, please please pleasepleaseplease hhhnnnggg-", he begs and begs until his entire body spasms and shakes, twitches uncontrollably through the most intense orgasm he has ever had, washing over him the very second Minho has grabbed his erection to pump him just once, maybe twice at most. He works him through it, releases deep inside of him with a loud moan of his own when Jisung asks him to with the prettiest, faux innocent expression, so ruined and wet and everything worth fighting full on wars for. His blissed out smile and fucked out giggle afterwards are maddeningly hot and for just a moment, Minho thinks he might be dreaming after all. Maybe he died and this is one of god's favorite angels. The best of the best. "Thank you. Thank you, Minho. So good, 's good. Fuck."

Minho lets himself drop down onto Jisung and the mess between them, still buried inside of him when he giggles along, blesses Jisung's ears with one of his absolute favorite sounds. He feels him inside of him, wraps his arms around him and holds him impossibly closer, right here in his arms.

They almost want to forget about everything else and just cuddle each other to sleep. But Minho is the one scolding Jisung in the end for not letting him back out of his grasp for a very much needed cleanup. So he gets up first, makes Jisung watch his cum dripping out of his fluttering hole, all properly opened up and certainly visible through the mirror. To make up for it, he laughs, picks Jisung up and princess carries him to the bathroom while littering his face with endless little pecks. Jisung's heart soars all throughout. He just had his first time with his first love, his forever person. It was absolutely perfect.

Taking a shower with Minho simply has to be something he cannot believe he is allowed to just do now, for free at that. The man looks stunning, so hot with all that water running down his skin that Jisung gladly accepts the lazy makeout session while cleaning up. He even allows himself to properly feel him up this time, lets his hands wander to Minhos chest, kneads his thighs, even kisses down the column of his throat, steering towards his chest, those nipples he's been wanting to taste ever since seeing them for the first time.

He is very happy to report that despite his eagerness, Minho stops him from going down further for now, properly weakens him by easily finding and sucking his favorite spot on his neck. But after marking him up there to make a very clear statement, he promises Jisung that he will teach him how to suck him off another time because they still have plans tonight and all the time in the world to learn after that. Jisung kisses him until Minho's giggle breaks them apart, makes Jisung smile from ear to ear.

How come that after committing one of the most sinful deeds, he now feels so blessed, like never before? He remembers Minho telling him once how he knows many more effective ways than mass to bring someone closer to god. He remembers him telling Jisung that his service is to get his partners to scream for her during the act. All of which, Jisung can very much confirm to have worked on him as well. No one told him before that being with your person, intimate or not, would feel quite like this. But he decides that this is a discovery he very gladly accepts making on his own regardless.

Minho gets out of the shower first, insists on Jisung waiting there for him, then returns a little while later with the fluffiest two of his towels. One is being wrapped around him, the other draped over his head and rubbed over his hair, making him laugh just because of how silly and domestic it all feels.

"Oh and Jisung.", Minho then says out of nowhere, lifts the towel on his head like it is some sort of veil and Jisung can feel the heat in his cheeks, knows he must be blushing from the mere thought, the idea.

"Hm?"

Minho leans in to press his lips against his forehead, just to lean back again afterwards with the most stunning smile and galaxies in his eyes, all directed at one Han Jisung and no one else.

"Happy birthday."

"You remembered?"

"Of course. Couldn't ever forget."

"October 25th.", Jisung grins back, "Couldn't ever forget either."

Another kiss, the two of them simply making up for lost opportunities now that they are back together. Then Minho sends him back to his room to get dressed and Jisung decides to only wear his own pants this time. He steals underwear and a white shirt from Minho and finds a hidden gem in his wardrobe that he cannot possibly ignore. And when Minho reenters his room after having started the laundry and gathered their phones, he stops right in his tracks at the sight of Jisung. Right here in his room, freshly fucked and showered, wearing his favorite leather jacket. One he has worn for years and has properly grown into. He had considered donating it a few times when he felt like he had outgrown it just a little bit, but never ended up doing so after all. He was either too lazy, forgot or had something come in between.

But seeing Jisung in it right now, perfectly fitting just like that, Minho finally understands. Because he was supposed to have it. He is sure of it.

"It's yours if you want it.", he tells him with the softest expression, "Fits you perfectly."

Jisung thinks it is his favorite birthday gift of all time. Right after reunion birthday sex with Minho.

After Minho gets dressed, the couple gets down to where Minho has parked his car, hand in hand and right by each other's side where they are supposed to be. Jisung momentarily blocks Mina and his parents due to the swarm of messages and calls he is getting from them still, but decides to unblock and deal with them the next day. For now, it is their friends they need to concentrate on first.

Seungmin calls at just the right moment, the second Minho and Jisung have parked the car and are standing in front of the door to the Chanlix dorm. Felix opens the door when Jisung picks up and immediately pulls him into a tight hug. He almost drops his phone in the process, but Minho is quick enough to catch it, then connect one and two in his head at the very confused guy on the other end of the line, whom he then opts to just glare at for the remainder of the night. How dare he make out with his Jisung.

"You two have so much to explain!", Jeongin shouts excitedly from where he is draped sideways over the armchair in the living room the other two and Seungmin on the phone are being dragged into. Everyone else immediately starts to scatter around, make space on the couch that Minho very calmly pulls Jisung towards, then sits down with him, one arm around him the entire time.

"What do you already know?", Minho asks, totally calm and collected like this is not the absolute strangest situation to be in right now. Like they are not being interrogated by their very noisy friends, like they are not being stared at by every single one. Jisung just blinks up at him, receives a reassuring smile, then an additional squeeze on his bicep. He easily relaxes into him then, easily melts into his side.

"What Jisung told Felix and what Felix knows apart from that, as well as everything you told me about that guy you met that you couldn't get over.", Hyunjin says, arms crossed in front of his chest. Jisung recalls Minho telling him in the car that he has a roommate and that he and Hyunjin have been close since the day Hyunjin transferred to his school. He was a big help in getting out of his old life and after escaping together, the two of them have only grown closer as well. Hyunjin met Changbin, the group made more friends, Jeongin joined the music program with another focus in his studies than the other three in the same art field.

Seungmin is being propped up against a bottle on the table, Minho and Jisung tell everyone what is new or unknown to them as of yet. By the end of it, Felix and Changbin are emotional, Chan and Hyunjin quick to be by their sides to calm them down, Seungmin congratulates them and Jeongin makes some sort of side comment about only having waited for Jisung to admit he is not straight.

The group is full on supportive, Hyunjin is living for the drama pre-dance that occurred over the monitors, Felix occupies Jisung's other side and happily accepts the cuddles he thinks he very much deserves. Especially because he is so happy that his plan to help Jisung with Mina turned into two of his closest people now being together. He remembers better than Jisung even just how terrible he was after leaving camp that year. So seeing the two of them together like this, especially after knowing now that he knew parts of the same story, told from two different perspectives, without even realizing it. And receiving cuddles from only Jisung at first, then Minho in addition once the older decides to pull them both closer like little cats, Felix feels good enough to jump right into the party they all came for.

So much seems to change after that.

Minho and Jisung actually pick up his stuff from Mina's together, apologize for hurting her and then get the door slammed shut in front of them the moment they step out with his bags. Minho takes it with humor though and spends the rest of the day cheering Jisung up, even takes him to a cat cafe close to campus that he frequents.

Chan and Changbin officially make Jisung a part of their group and the three of them make music together from then on out. Seungmin aces law school, but has several FaceTime calls or previously promised visits in which he just complains about absolutely everything. Minho stops his glares by the second visit from Seungmin because he knows the guy is not a threat and he actually likes him quite a bit. Though he would never admit that to anyone. Especially not Seungmin.

The cab driver receives the most generous tip yet after driving the couple home after a failed visit to Jisung's parents. Minho simply leads Jisung out of the house when things start to escalate, then leaves an envelope in the mail with everything he promised to write and on the way back home, they fuck like rabbits on the backseat of the cab. They keep in touch with the man, promise him to send an invitation to their wedding, once they finally reach that stage of their lives.

Jisung never ends up moving to the dorms. He stays with Minho and Hyunjin and has frequent sleepovers with Felix. When Seungmin comes to visit, he sleeps on the couch in the living room.

3RACHA, the trio Jisung is so proud to be a part of, receives multiple big opportunities, production or straight up performance gigs. Even more so when the other two have graduated and Jisung is still stuck at uni for a little longer. Minho makes his own dream come true when he opens a dance school that Felix and Hyunjin are quick to start working in as well.

The day Jisung hands in his final project, Minho comes to visit him at the studio with food and an emotional support cockwarming in his mouth when Jisung starts to get too jittery and scared. Then the moment he has sent out the document, all done and anything else in the hands of the lord, he pulls Minho off his erection, switches their positions, pulls out the plug he had put in before going to the studio because a man can hope, and rides him until he is coming pathetically quick, seeing stars from the intensity. He makes sure to suck Minho to completion as well of course, having found out after learning how to, just how much he likes it.

Jisung's parents never fully approve of their relationship, but still make sure to send a gift for their wedding, then actually even attend a couple's dance class at the studio a few years later, led by Minho, in hopes of staying in their son's life to at least some extend.

Sometimes days are easy, other times they are hard. But every single one is worth it nonetheless. Because Jisung gets to spend it with his friends, his found family. And most important of all, while lying in bed, right next to the peacefully sleeping figure of his forever person, looking at his features that aged beautifully like fine wine, he knows.

He has no regrets, lives a life fuller than he ever thought possible. He is being loved dearly, in the most sincere ways and loves back just the same.

Thinking back, two years apart feels like nothing now after several years together, living a dream dreamt with someone who was always meant to stay forever.