Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

@scottsummers created a chat!

@scottsummers added twelve people

@scottsummers named the chat ‘School Prep!’

School Prep!

Timestamp: 5:51pm 

Scott Summers:

heyyyyy

since were all in the same class

i thought it would be much easier if we had each others numbers

And were in a same groupchat tgther

Bobby Drake:

so ur solution to this was to add us all in a chat?

stupid

Scott Summers:

shut up

Jean Grey: 

Okay, how about we calm down here

Warren Worthingham:

Y the fuck you think theyd care?

Their basically babies given degrees and education

Bobby Drake:

fuck off warren

Jubilation Lee:

ooooo drama~

Ororo Munroe: 

Maybe we shouldn’t fight 

Its a bad example

Logan Howlett: 

Nah

Let them brawl

Finally bring some kind of fun in this bleak place

Anna-Marie:

Logan

Logan Howlett:

Fine

Sorry

Hank McCoy:

Everybody calm down

It is not logical to fight so quickly without proper in point reason

Kurt Wagner: 

Ja, I agree with Hank!

Tis, unwise to argue without any ill intention 

Jean Grey:

Yes, thank you

Warren Worthingham:

God this entire chat is so stupid

Private Chat: Scott Summers - Warren Worthingham

scottywottypoo:

what crawled up ur ass and died

couldflyifhewantedto :

Fuck off

scottywottypoo:

damn

Private Chat: Logan Howlett - Anna Marie

angydad:

I dont like it

sweetkid:

Cmon logan

You cant consistently be suspicious of everybody

What if they gen just want to be friends?

angydad:

I still dont like it

School Prep!

Timestamp: 6:38pm

Kurt Wagner:

Does anybody understand what the Professor meant with the essay?

I am afraid that I am a bit stuck with the outline of it

Hank McCoy:

Oh, I got you. 

What part of the outline is confusing you?

Kurt Wagner:

The entirety of the topic

What am I writing about?

How am I supposed to structure it?

Bobby Drake: 

Your supposed to write about urself lmao???

Its quite obvious!?!?

Kurt Wagner:

Yes but

How?

Do i write a thesis?

Do i write a claim?

How do i structure it?

Hank McCoy:

Okay so,

Your supposed to talk about yourself, correct?

But Xavier never specified exactly what the prompt was

So I get it, you dont really have anything to go off on

Kurt Wagner:

Yes!

Thank you!

That sums it up i would say

Hank McCoy:

See what im doing is why I chose my major

You can write about something your interested in

Could it be, a random color

A sport

A thing your crazy good at

Anything that makes you, you really

Jubilation Lee:

damn

Thats a really deep way to think about it

Ik you were talking to kurt but that helped me out with the essay too

Thanks Hank

Kurt Wagner:

Ja!

Thank you Hank

This was very exciteful!

I think i will do my essay on my fascination for church architecture

Ive always enjoyed it, and its a fun fact about me!

Thank you again!

Hank McCoy:

Of course

Jean Grey:

Welp, now we know who to go to if we need help with assignments, amiright?

Hank McCoy:

I’m flattered

Timestamp: 2:10am 

Remy LeBeau:

qu’est-ce que c’est?

Peter Maximoff:

???

Remy LeBeau:

Ah

désolé

I’m afraid i’m still in france mode

Gods, I can’t even sleep properly

Peter Maximoff:

Nah man, its fine

I sometimes slip up and speak in slovak instead of english

That or my accent slips through

As for the sleep part

Insomniac

I get it

Remy LeBeau:

That explains why you are up at the same time

Do you know what this chat is? 

Peter Maximoff:

No clue man

Private Chat: Peter Maximoff - Scott Summers

gotagogotagogotago:

Dude

You did NOT just create a whole-ass group chat

JUST to get jeans number

iknowiknowiknow:

Shut up

gotagogotagogotago:

Dude

This is a whole nother level of down bad

iknowiknowiknow:

shut. up. 

Chapter Text

violently convulsing on the floor cause were sexy like that

Timestamp: 2:22 pm

superspeedy:

Ever just wanna

Kill yourself

constipated:

Please 

You would do the world a favor

superspeedy:

Jump

Commit

Die

Hop

Slit

ragingweatherofhormones:

How creative

superspeedy:

Thank you

birdfood:

Lets all point and laugh at scott for creating a groupchat to talk to a girl

Hahahhahhahahhahah

@scottsummers

froyo:

Stop 😭

Thats why you created the chat?

Naww fammm thats another LEVEL of downbad

superspeedy:

Thats what i said!

constipated:

Fuck off

ragingweatherofhormones:

It is pretty stupid

Just talk to jean scott

She wont bite

Infact, even if she didnt like you she would still let you down easy

And you two would still be friends

froyo:

And its not like she wont say yes

Pretty sure shes just as downbad as you are 

constipated:

You dont know that

Its not like she even knows who i am

Jean’s amazing, shes like this god who descended apon earth as the savior

Compared to her, im nothing

Like why would she ever want to date me?

birdfood:

Okay generic wattpad plot and story

ragingweatherofhormones :

Bro is not the main character

superspeedy:

“I-im just the nerd!” aah text

froyo:

Aint no way this bitch tried to re create the “why should she give a damn about me” tiktok audio

constipated:

Okay so

Yknow what

Fuck you all

School Prep!

Timestamp: 4:48 pm

Remy LeBeau: 

In a bit of a dilemme

In citations do you include the punctuation in the quote or not?

Jean Grey:

Well it really depends on what the punctuation is

If its a question or an exclamation you would keep the punctuation

If it was just a regular period you would end quote then add the citation then add the period

If that makes sense

Remy LeBeau:

Merci, merci 

I still sometimes get mixed up with this mla format

Jean Grey:

Of course!

Jubilation Lee: 

Dont sweat it remy

Mla is a bitch to get down

Bobby Drake: 

Yeah just dont be like scott

Scott Summers:

???

Wait wad i do?

Peter Maximoff:

Oh

OH

OH SHIT

OH LMAO

I REMEMBER THAT

Warren Worthingham: 

The essay you turned in for darkholme

First year?

Ring any bells?

Scott Summers:

???

I dont know what ur talking about dude

Peter Maximoff:

Really dude?

Do you not remember?

The essay on sharks????

Warren Worthingham:

Does bro have dementia?

Private Chat: Scott Summers - Peter Maximoff

iknowiknowiknow:

Peter

Shut up

gotagogotagogotago:

Ahhahaha

No

iknowiknowiknow :

PETER

School Prep!

Peter Maximoff:

LMAO

SCOTTYS DMMING ME RN

Scott Summers:

SHUT UP

Ororo Munroe:

Hes probably blushing so hard right now

Scott Summers:

SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPP

Ororo Munroe:

Okay so, your proving me right right now

Bobby Drake:

Wait lemme check

Scott Summers:

Bobby i swear to god if you show up to my window i WILL pelt you with rocks

Ill do it i swear

Ororo Munroe:

Send photos

Scott Summers:

Count your days

Warren Worthingham:

Okay count dracula

Bobby Drake:

I gotchu

Ororo Munroe:

Ty

Peter Maximoff:

BAHAHAHA

Scott Summers:

I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE MAXIMOFF

DONT TEST ME

Private Chat: Jean Grey - Jubilation Lee

Mental:

Aldajs;kjdsajk;sdf

Hes so cuteeeee

Little adorable thing

I just wanna kiss himmmmmmm

Hospital:

Jean

Baby

I love you so much

But you are so down bad for that man its just sad

Mental:

Have you seen him!?

HES SO DAMN CUTE!!!!

He gets flustered so easily its adorable

I wanna make him blush adkajfdkajk;dj

Hospital:

meh

His older brothers hotter

Hey when you get together with scott

Make sure to tell his brother about me

Mental:

…

nah

Hospital:

NAH!?!?!

Mental:

nah

Private Chat: Logan Howlett - Anna Marie

angydad:

hes cute

sweetkid:

!?

School Prep!

Timestamp: 5:15 pm

Kurt Wagner:

If you dont mind me asking Remy,

What essay were you asking for the citations for?

Sorry just to make sure if i wasnt missing anything

Remy LeBeau: 

No worries!

It was for an assignment for Mr. Lensherr’s class

Hank McCoy:

Was that the essay where you write about your culture and hometown?

The one where you cite the sources on how the supposed origin was conceived? 

Remy LeBeau:

Thats the one

Quite a pain in the ass if i do say for myself

Kurt Wagner:

Ah

Thank you!

I completed that assignment, but i thank you for your patience with me

Mr. Lensherr is one of the teachers whom i am afraid to go up to and ask for an extension

Anna-Marie:

Valid

That guy looks like he kills babies as a sport for fun

Logan Howlett:

Aw

The kids learning

Anna-Marie:

Shut up

Logan Howlett:

Damn

Private Chat: Scott Summers - Peter Maximoff

iknowiknowiknow:

Now whos running away from their problems?

gotagogotagogotago:

Shut up 

Chapter Text

School Prep!

Timestamp: 11:06 am

Jubilation Lee: 

Yo peter

I got ur weed

Lets meet up and knock back shottttssss

Jean Grey:

what. 

Kurt Wagner:

Oh!

Thats not!

Bobby Drake:

Weed at 11 am is crazyyyyyyyy

Peter Maximoff:

JUBILEE

YOU ABSOLUTE DUMBASS

Jubilation Lee:

MY BAD

I DIDNT

I GOT THE CHATS MESSED UP

Peter Maximoff:

HOW DO YOU FUCK UP THIS BADLY⁉️

Jubilation Lee:

MY BAD 😭😭

IM SO SORRY

Logan Howlett:

Yknow what

Hell yeah

Fucking share you entitled brats

Remy LeBeau: 

What does one do to be a part of the cercle de drogues?

Anna-Marie: 

GET OUT!!!

Warren Worthingham:

THATS CRAZYYYYYYY

Jubilation Lee: 

Price to go up is $20 per weed stick

Join the circle its 30

Remy LeBeau:

Pricy

Eh ill pay it

Peter Maximoff:

Imagine

She gives me my drugs for free

Hank McCoy:

Peter

Jubilation, 

Jubilation Lee:

Oh 

brotha eaughhghgh

Lemme just

@jubilationlee changed their username to Jubilee

Jubilee:

sorry i am not a fan of 

shudder

Jubilation

Warren Worthingham:

Honestly what were ur parents thinking

Ororo Munroe:

your one to talk

Mr worthingham

Warren Worthingham:

Fuck off

Scott Summers:

Is that just ur catchphrase

fuck off

Warren Worthingham:

Fuck off

Scott Summers:

Proving my point rn

Hank McCoy:

Back to me

Peter, Jubilee

Its not okay to do drugs

Especially since your underage

Peter Maximoff:

ehhhhhhh

Its not like our parents care

Scott Summers:

aggressively coughs

Peter Maximoff:

shut the fuck up

Jubilee:

Cmon hank

Its not that deep

We just do it to unwind

Plus its not like we do it everyday

Just after realllyyyyy hard tests

Logan Howlett:

I agree 

Let the kids have their fun

Their not harming anyone

Anna-Marie:

you do not get to be apart of this conversation

Freaking junky 

Logan Howlett:

good god, you smoke in front of the child once

Anna-Marie:

first off it wasnt just once

You did it multiple times

second

FUCKING COCAINE!!?!?

REMEMBER THAT!??!?!

Logan Howlett:

hh yeah

Good times, good times

Jean Grey:

First thing, hank’s right

Its not okay to do weed or drink alcohol underage

Who knows what kind of trouble it can bring to the brain

Ororo Munroe:

I dont know about jubilee but peter doesnt really have a brain that could be bothered

Peter Maximoff:

Hey! So! Jump!

Jean Grey:

Second

Logan you did cocaine?

Thats not good for you

Logan Howlett:

okay?

so?

Jean Grey:

so????

I care about you you dumbass

Your my friend

Anna-Marie:

Awww you see that logan

You do have friends!!!

Logan Howlett:

shut up

Anna-Marie:

:(((

Private Chat: Scott Summers - Bobby Drake

eyes:

Im gonna strangle that fucker

cold:

Kinky

eyes:

.

kill yourself

cold:

DAMN

School Prep!

Timestamp: 11:30 am

Remy LeBeau:

wait

Do i still get my weed

I still want drugs

Helloooooo

Ill venmo you the $50

Anna-Marie:

respectfully

Remy if you even dare to get near drugs ill choke you

Remy LeBeau:

sexyyyy

Logan Howlett:

Disrespectfully fall off a cliff while your dick lobs off with a goddamn ax

Remy LeBeau:

Oh. 

sommes-nous susceptibles?

Logan Howlett:

I have no clue what you said and neither do I care

I see you near rogue i cut your dick off

Clear?

Remy LeBeau:

Okay alright,

ombrageux 

Private Chat: Jean Grey - Jubilation Lee

Mental:

.

Why was that so hot

Jubilee

Why do i find logan hot

I like scott

Hospital:

Normally id say because everybody thinks logan’s hot

But its you

And your so down bad for scott its sad

Mental:

So then whats going on?

Its not just over text to

Whenever i see him in class, i feel so weird

Its like with scott but different

Yknow????

Hospital:

Hm

Have you ever heard of polyamory? 

Mental:

Its the lgbtq thing right?

I dont really know the specifics

Hospital:

Its when more then two people date each other

In this case it would be you, scott, and logan

but that would only work if scott likes both you and logan

otherwise it would be an open relationship

Mental:

Oh

I kinda get it

Hospital:

ur gonna scream in a pillow then read doomed yuri arent you?

Mental:

yeah

Hospital:

Ill bring the donuts 

Chapter Text

School Prep

Timestamp: 6:55 pm

Peter Maximoff:

Im gonna fucking cry

Scott Summers:

Good

Sob

Cry

Warren Worthingham:

I hope it sucks whatever your going through

Peter Maximoff:

Hahhahhahahhaha

Kill yourself

Kurt Wagner:

Let’s all calm down here

Nobody should kill themselves

Bobby Drake:

Naw

Peter should

Ororo Munroe:

I agree i agree /lovingly

Peter Maximoff:

Take that /lovingly and shove it up ur ass

Ororo Munroe:

Nvm

/srs

Kurt Wagner:

Ok then

Peter, why are you crying?

Peter Maximoff:

Thank you kurt

See? This is how you should talk to people

Take fucking notes you whores

Scott Summers:

Ruh roh

Somebody’s touchy!!

Warren Worthingham:

You cannot be talking 💀💀

Bobby Drake:

Im gonna touch you

Anna-Marie:

WOAHHHHHHHH THERE

Jubilee:

BOBBY YOU GOT SMTHING TO SAY TO US?????

Bobby Drake: 

NO

STOP

SHUT UP

Jean Grey:

Coming out of the closet pog????

Bobby Drake:

HELL NO

OMG

FUCK

NO

A;AAAJKDAJ;AKDJ;ADJ

IM STRIAGH

STRAIGH

STRAIG

STAGH

STRAIGHT

FUCKIGN

FUCK

Logan Howlett:

Its okay 

We understand how difficult this might be

We accept you

Bobby Drake:

NO

STOP

A;JDKLJA;LDJ

IM STRIHGA

STRAT

TARGIHT

STRAGIHT

STRAIGHT

PLSE

YOU HAFTA

Hank McCoy:

Very convincing👍

Bobby Drake:

HANK!?!?

Scott Summers:

I think bobby’s actually gonna blow up if we keep teasing him

Ororo Munroe:

Teasing?

Oh honey, this shit is as true as the twin towers falling

Bobby Drake:

IM NOT GAY

Jubilee: 

Biggest lie your ass has ever said

Bobby Drake: 

I SWEAR

ON MY LIFE

IM NOT A HOMOSEXUAL

I SWEAR

Ororo Munroe:

Sebastian stan oiled up 4k 

Bobby Drake:

.

Thats different

Ororo Munroe:

Oh?

Bobby Drake:

Yeah

Everybody’s gay for sebastian stan

Logan Howlett:

Hes right

Anna-Marie:

???

Logan Howlett:

Man

That shits bothering me

Anna-Marie:

?

@loganhowlett changed @annamarie’s username to Rogue

Logan Howlett:

Much better

Rogue:

Oh

Coolio!!

Kurt Wagner:

Back to peter

Why were you about to cry?

Peter Maximoff:

mannnn

Kurt your the best

Ororo Munroe:

cough cough cough cough

Peter Maximoff:

FUCK OFF

Anyways

WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKK

DARKHOMES OUT TO GET ME ISTG

Kurt Wagner:

????

How so???

Warren Worthingham:

Is 

Is this about what happened in class?

Peter Maximoff:

YES

Warren Worthingham:

Oh

OML 

DUDE I FELT SO BAD FOR YOU

(i really didnt)

Peter Maximoff:

Ahhahhahaha

Fuck you

Kurt Wagner:

What happened in class?

Jean Grey:

It couldn’t have been that bad

Warren Worthingham:

It was

And it was fucking hilarious 

Peter Maximoff:

NO IT WASNt

Jubilee:

What the fuck even happened?

Peter Maximoff:

Ok so

Instead of teaching what she should have

(martial arts/history of martial arts)

She centered her lesson around family

How family is SUPPOSED to care about you no matter what

How to reach out to cps, parental services

All that jazz

Scott Summers:

No way

Peter Maximoff:

Not only that

She invited mr LEHNSHERR 

TO THE FUCKING LECTURE

Scott Summers:

NO WAY

Peter Maximoff:

AND AND AND

SHE WAS FUCKING GLARING AT ME THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME

Ororo Munroe:

NAHHHH

THATS FUCKING INSANE

Bobby Drake:

OH SHE WAS OUT TO GET YOU OUT TO GET YOU

YOUR NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING

Scott Summers:

Wait

Did you tell her?

Peter Maximoff:

…

No comment

Scott Summers:

PETER

WHY

Peter Maximoff:

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

Warren Worthingham:

man 

This is all ur fault

Peter Maximoff:

Yeah i realize that

Kurt Wagner:

May i ask

Whats the big deal?

I mean, it’s alright to change up course material once in a while

Mr. Lehnsherr is a loud to be at other teachers lectures

And Ms. Darkholme glares at a lot of people

Whats the problem?

Peter Maximoff:

i 

Its a long story Kurt

Kurt Wagner:

Oh

Thats alright peter

Ill be happy when your okay to share with me

Peter Maximoff:

Gods, your adorable Kurt

Ororo Munroe:

COUGH COUGH COUGH

Peter Maximoff:

SHUT THE FUCK UP

Timestamp: 10:24 pm

Remy LeBeau:

WAKE UP

I REPEAT

WAKE UP

I HAVE MAJOR NEWS 

Jubilee:

IM HERE FOR THE GOSSIP

Rogue:

What?

What?

What?

Peter Maximoff:

wsp

Remy LeBeau:

Okay so

I went sleuthing

Jubilee:

Oohhhhhh

Dirtttt

Rogue:

Why????

Remy LeBeau:

Idk

I was bored

Peter Maximoff:

Valid reason

Remy LeBeau:

So

I was looking around at old vhs tapes of the security system

Jubilee:

How did you even get those?

Remy LeBeau:

Shut up

N E ways 

I found one from around fifteen years ago

And 

Drum roll please

Rogue:

🥁🥁🥁

Remy LeBeau:

Thank you

Turns out

Darkholme and Lehnsherr?

They kissed

In a storage room 

Peter Maximoff:

Shut up

SHUT UP

YOUR KIDDING

STOP

Remy LeBeau:

Nope

100% authentic

Jubilee:

Link

Now

I dont believe you

Rogue:

Sorry remy

I dont either

both of our most stoic teachers kissing?

Hell no

Remy LeBeau:

video.mp3

Its a bit shaky because my hand isnt steady but

Here

Peter Maximoff:

Holy shit

HOLY SHIT

Rogue:

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!??!?!?!?

Jubilee:

TAHTS

THATS NOT FUCKING KISSING?!?!?

THATS FULL BLOWN MAKING OUT!?!?!?

Peter Maximoff:

Im gonna fucking cry

Private Chat: Peter Maximoff - Ororo Munroe

kleptomaniac:

Im gonna go kill myself now

So im just going to tell you right now

That you were my closest friend

idontthinktheresawordforcompletelymentalyderanged:

Why?

kleptomaniac:

Check the chat

idontthinktheresawordforcompletelymenntalyderanged:

Oh

OH

yeahhhhhh

Thats a valid reason

School Prep

Timestamp: 10:45 pm

Rogue:

THATS

WHAT

HOLY FUCKING HELL THATS CRAZY

THEY KISSED

Jubilee:

MORE THAN KISSING 

THIS IS FULL ON OPEN MOUTHED

GAHGHGAKJDAJD;SD

Ororo Munroe:

Thats crazyyyyyyyyyy

Wow

Two of our most stoic teachers getting it on

Peter Maximoff:

Im begging you pls stfu

Ororo Munroe:

No

Remy LeBeau:

No offence peter

But why are you so freaked out about this?

Like i get that its darkholme and leshnerr but this was fifteen years ago

They probably dont even care about other anymore

Peter Maximoff:

Uhm

Its a bit different for me because

Well

Rogue:

Cmon remy the guys in shock

Dont back him into a corner

With the way darkholme and leshnerr act to each other now and then seeing that video, its kinda jarring

Remy LeBeau:

Really???

I’ve never met leshnerr

Jubilee:

He’s an asshole in an overly constipated fatherly way

He cares but he doesnt want to care but he still cares and he acts like a douche

Ororo Munroe:

That was the most brilliant way of putting it

Hes a fatherly person

He practically adopts every student he teaches whether he likes it or not

Imagine coughcoughcough him being told he has a biological kid

Peter Maximoff:

The idea of having a biological kid for twenty years that he knew nothing about?

To a guy whos daughter has died already

Wow that sure would go real peachy!

Rogue:

He would definitely still care

In fact i think he would care to much

He would be a clingy parent, a velcro parent if you must use terms

Peter Maximoff:

Orrrrrrrrrrr

Peter coming in with the more realistic reality

Jubilee:

What ur insecurities are telling you

Peter Maximoff:

Shut up

Lehnsherr would say “fuck you” and completely shut that kid out of his life

REASONABLE BECAUSE THAT KID IS NON OF HIS GODDAMN BUISNESS

He didnt need the kid in his life before, why would he need them after?

Ororo Munroe:

Oml

There was so much wrong with that statement

Erik isnt gonna shut you out of his life goddamnit

Peter Maximoff:

You dont know that

Its the most logical thing to do really

Rogue:

Asking in gen confusion

Peter, why would lehnsherr shut you out of his life for his biological son??

That makes no fucking sense

Peter Maximoff:

.

Jubilee:

Oh shit

Oh shit

THIS IS MAIN

FUCK THIS IS MAIN

ORORO THIS IS MAIN

Ororo Munroe:

YEAH IM REALIZING THAT NOW

FUCK

WAIT

Rogue:

Wait

I just rubbed my two brain cells together

Private Chat: Anna-Marie - Peter Maximoff

Anna-Marie:

I’m not an asshole and we’ve barely talked outside of texts in the main

Lehnsherr’s your dad?

Peter Maximoff:

Ty dude this means so much

Anna-Marie:

Ofc, basic human decency

Move to dms the minute it gets to serious

But please answer my question

Peter Maximoff:

Yeah

Yeah he’s my dad

And he doesnt know

Anna-Marie:

Aw shit man that must suck

Peter Maximoff:

Yeah

Imma

Just

Yeah

School Prep!

Remy Lebeau:

Wait

What

Wait im confused

????????????

Jubilee:

It’s fine

We shoudlnt be texting about this anyways

Didnt we like, just get a lecture about digital print and safety?

Ororo Munroe:

Its fine Remy, and jubilee’s right we shoudln’t be talking about our teachers like this at all

Besides, its getting late. And tmmrw is your first day to college after a long time, aint it????

Remy LeBeau:

Yeah ur right

I need to get some sleep

Goodnight amie 

Ororo Munroe:

Goodnight!!

Private Chat: Erik Leshnerr - Charles Xavier

erik <3:

Why did I just get chills

Charles?

charles♡: 

Go to sleep erik, make sure the demons don’t get you

erik <3:

Shut up

Chapter Text

Private Chat: Scott Summers - Warren Worthingham

Timestamp: 3:31 pm

scottywottypoo:

Gahhhhh

I just had class with jean

God shes so cuteeee

She does this thing where she wrinkles her nose when shes focusing and she looks so adorable

I just wanna kiss her man

Why she so kissable????????????

Blahhhh life isnt fair 

Why do i have to be doomed for this love story????????????

couldflyifhewantedto:

First thing

mf you are NOT the main character

dont make urself look like a fucked up anime shonen protagonist whos love story is doomed from the beginning bcs the manga writer is fucked up

Second

Why the fuck are you telling ME this????

Go vent to bobby tf

scottywottypoo:

Bobby blocked me :(

Said i was ‘to hetero’ for him

couldflyifhewantedto:

The closet is glass

Also smartest thing that dumbass has ever done

scottywottypoo:

are u just saying that because your a lonely fuck who hasnt liked anyone since hell froze over?

Or because ur bitter nobody will ever like you because your a salty shit

couldflyifhewantedto:

Block button looking real shiny and nice rn

scottywottypoo:

NO STOP

DONT BLOCK ME ILL BE NICE I SWEAR

couldflyifhewantedto:

Desperate are we?

scottywottypoo:

I cant bitch to ororo about this, she’ll block me immediately

Peter would use it as blackmail

ur my best bet dude

couldflyifhewantedto:

*second best bet

Bobby was first remember?

scottywottypoo:

Nahhhhh

He blocked me :(

Hes back on the hitlist

Me and alex are gonna egg him

Now back to jean

couldflyifhewantedto:

ugh 

dude just ask her out

Not that hard

scottywottypoo:

And risk me being seen as a clown?

Not in a million years

couldflyifhewantedto:

Not much of a change in what ur seen as now

Also im pretty sure jean would go out with you

She seems pretty much in love with you to

scottywottypoo:

HAH

JEAN???

JEAN GREY????

couldflyifhewantedto:

??

Yea?

Who else would i be talking about stupid

scottywottypoo:

She doesnt like me

She’ll never like me

couldflyifhewantedto:

Okayyyyy i see you

generic fucking pick me boy

scottywottypoo:

No warren you dont get it

She doesnt like and she’ll never like me, bcs she likes someone else

Im not going to get in the middle of that

couldflyifhewantedto:

Im sorry where in the actual clusterfuck of the world did you get the fact that jean grey likes someone who isnt you

Scott are you okay

Text x if someones holding you at gunpoint

scottywottypoo:

Har har

Laugh it up

couldflyifhewantedto:

Trust me i really want to but i cant tell if ur joking or not

Ur joking right?

Scott you cant be this stupid cmon

Jean doesnt like anyone else

She only likes you cmon man??

scottywottypoo:

She doesnt like me warren

And thats okay

She doesnt owe me anything

A guy can dream tho

couldflyifhewantedto:

Okayyy crazy train has left the station a while ago it seems

Who is this mystery man jean is supposedly crushing on?

scottywottypoo:

Logan

couldflyifhewantedto:

.

Ur joking

Pls tell me ur joking scott

Scott this isnt a funny joke man

This is depressing

scottywottypoo:

Yeah yeah

Laugh at my misery

couldflyifhewantedto:

I cant tell if this is bcs of one of ur moods or if you genuinely believe it

scottywottypoo:

Its true

She likes logan, and I cant do anything about that

I wont get in her way but a guy can dream

couldflyifhewantedto:

So scott

I think ur the stupidest person in the entire world

And im friends with bobby drake

scottywottypoo:

???

Private Chat: Warren Worthingham - Bobby Drake

cawcawmf:

Scotts gonna egg ur house

bobsicle:

??

Is he texting u or smth

cawcawmf:

Yes

Im about to strangle this motherfucker

bobsicle:

Yeah 😬

I had to block him

He was getting a bit to hetero with me and well, a man can only take as much

cawcawmf:

Thats not the reason i want to strangle him

Well

Part of the reason

Fucker was ranting about jean

bobsicle:

Like he always does

cawcawmf:

Like he always does

Except

When i inquired to him about why he hasnt asked jean out yet

bobsicle:

Big boy word

cawcawmf:

Stfu ur just illiterate

Anyways instead of saying his usual “nOboDy wOulD eVer liKE Me” agenda he said and i kid you not, “she likes someone else”

bobsicle:

Shut up

cawcawmf:

It gets worse

bobsicle:

Shut upppp

Wait now im feeling second hand embarrassment

cawcawmf:

I ask “who?” 

This mf says logan

Logan

LOGAN

bobsicle:

Actually wait

I see it

cawcawmf:

Wait what

bobsicle:

Look, logans outwardly hostile to everyone right?

Everyone except for rogue and jean

cawcawmf:

Actually?

I havent ever noticed that

Wait so logan likes jean okay, but jean doesnt like logan

bobsicle:

So about that

cawcawmf:

No

Stop

Shut up

Ur kidding

bobsicle:

Me and jubilee yap

And when she was talking to me we talked about scott and jean

I was bringing up the times when scott was an absolute idiot because jean made his brain short circuit and she brought up the time when jean called logan hot

cawcawmf:

Jean called logan hot?

Fuck

Was scott right?

bobsicle:

Hold on

It gets better

I talk to rogue as well

cawcawmf:

are you just a gossip magnet now

You got the terrible twos feeding you the tea

bobsicle:

Shut up

I talked to rogue 

And she mentioned one time logan called scott cute

cawcawmf:

Wait what

Wait

Poly?

Threesome???????

But scott needs to be on board for that

bobsicle:

Remember when jean fretted over logan in the chat

cawcawmf:

Vaguely

I dont remember bullshit stuff and that entire chat is the epitome of bullshit

bobsicle:

Shut up you softy

N E ways, scott texted me during that and he was like “im gonna strangle him” and as a JOKE i texted back “kinky”

He did his flustered up hesitant text thing

cawcawmf:

The one where he types a . then replies to that with kill yourself?

bobsicle:

YEAH

THAT

cawcawmf:

Oh shit

Hes in denial 

LMAO HES IN DENIAL 

UR BOTH IN GAY DENIAL

bobsicle:

LMAO YEAH HES IN GAY DENIAL

wait

IM NOT GAY

FUCK OFF WARREN

cawcawmf:

Sure buddy sure

Keep telling urself that

Also unblock scott i dont wanna deal with him anymore

bobsicle:

nuh uh

Hes ur problem now

cawcawmf:

BOBBY

TAKE HIM BACK

Private Chat: Warren Worthingham - Scott Summers

couldflyifhewantedto:

Scott

Ur a dumbass

scottywottypoo:

Wow

You vent to your friend expecting good advice or something and you get that

Real nice warren

Real nice

couldflyifhewantedto:

Stfu and go bother bobby

scottywottypoo:

he bLOCKED ME

couldflyifhewantedto:

TO FUCKING BAD

School Prep!

Timestamp: 7:30 pm

Peter Maximoff:

Food recs???

Anyone

Im hungry as hell

Warren Worthingham:

Just eat the cafeteria food

You have meal swipes right?

Peter Maximoff:

Well yeah

But the cafeteria food tastes like literal bird food

Theres no way that shit is edible

Scott Summers:

Bird food?

No wonder warren likes it

Warren Worthingham:

I mentioned liking birds one time people

ONE TIME

Ororo Munroe:

Yeah but thats the only thing notable about your personality

You got nothing else

Warren Worthingham:

Fuck you

Kurt Wagner:

You could go to a restaurant nearby?

There is a thai place

Peter Maximoff:

Oooooo thai food

Love that shit

Jean Grey:

I love thai food 

Fried rice is always so nice to have, especially after a long test

Remy LeBeau:

I’ve never had thai food

Is it good?

Jean Grey:

You’ve never had thai food!?

Blasphemy

Rogue:

Well thats a damn shame

Remy ill take you out

Remy LeBeau:

Oh?

are you asking me out mon ami?

Rogue:

Maybe

What? You to good for a nice date at a thai place?

Dont worry princess, you dont have to pay

Remy LeBeau:

I dont know whats happening right now but i'm enticed

Hank McCoy:

I believe you were just asked out on a date, Remy

Jubilee:

With rogue!!

Luckyyyyyy i wanna go out with rogue 😔

Remy LeBeau:

Back off

My time to shine

Rogue:

Ladies ladies ladies

Dw theres enough of me to go around

Logan Howlett:

Your a dumbass

Rogue:

Your just mad I can pull them ALL

Logan Howlett:

Nahhhh

Your just a dumbass

Kurt Wagner:

Peter, are you planning on eating alone?

Peter Maximoff:

Uhh yeah

I mean, nobodies joining me for dinner rn 

Theyre all busy

Im alone 😕

Kurt Wagner:

I could join you for dinner if you’d like?

Peter Maximoff:

REALLY?

Wait thatd be awesome

Hol up lemme text you the address

Ororo Munroe:

sigh

Peter Maximoff: 

Shut up

Jean Grey:

Logan are you busy with anything tonight?

Logan Howlett:

Nah

Im planning on laying in bed while smoking some weed and watching shitty soap operas

Why you ask?

Jean Grey:

Do you want to play poker with me?

Usually id ask Jubilee but she refuses to play against me

Jubilee:

Because you always win!!

Its so creepy

Istg you have some kind of telepathy power or smth

Logan Howlett:

Im down

I should warn you though, im the reigning champion at poker 

Rogue:

Its true

Cant beat him for shit

Ororo Munroe:

Second that

Its weird

I kind of want to see you get beat by jean

Bobby Drake:

HOLD YOUR THOUGHTS

Isnt poker best played with more then two players????????

Warren Worthingham:

.

Your up to something

Bobby Drake: 

Shut up

Jean Grey:

Wait your right

Logan Howlett:

Kids got a point

Its more fun with three people

Warren Worthingham:

Oh i see what your doing

Bobby Drake:

Great keep your epiphanies to yourself or dms bitch

Warren Worthingham:  

Ooo big boy word

Bobby Drake:

SHUT UP

Anyways scotts really good at poker

Scott Summers:

Wait what

Ororo Munroe:

Hes decent

he plays well

Scott Summers:

Yall what

What are you on about

Jubilee:

Someone please shut him up

This is getting embarrassing to watch

Omg i should ss to send to peter

We can laugh about this together

Scott Summers: 

Hold on you talk to peter???

Hank McCoy:

I fear I am the only one completely out of the loop

What is going on?

Jubilee:

Dms hank

Ill catch you up on the tea

Jean Grey:

Scott do you want to join us for poker?

We have coffee!!

Logan Howlett:

And beer

Im bringing beer

Ororo Munroe:

He’d love to

Scott Summers:

Wait im confused

What am i doing

Bobby Drake:

Your going to jeans dorm to play poker with her and logan

Have fun!!

Logan Howlett:

Shouldn’t you let the kid answer for himself?

Ororo Munroe:

No

Hes worthless

Logan Howlett:

Ahh

Jean Grey:

Well I’ll see you all there!!

Private Chat: Bobby Drake - Scott Summers

cold:

Ur welcome

eyes:

so NOW you unblock me?

cold:

Fuck you

Private Chat: Jubilation Lee - Jean Grey

Hospital:

Congrats

You got your two boy crushes in the same room as you playing poker

Make it strip

Mental:

I hate you so much

Hospital:

They only hate you when your right

Man peters gonna have a field day with this

Mental:

Im blocking you

Chapter Text

Private Chat: Kurt Wagner - Anna-Marie

Timestamp: 2:10 am

istghesaghost:

Rogue?

Are you up?

lmaourgettingold:

Yeah Kurt

Whats up?

istghesaghost:

I’m sorry to bother you at this time

lmaourgettingold:

Kurt your my brother

Ill always have time for you

Wassup?

istghesaghost:

I’m worried about someone

lmaourgettingold:

Who?

istghesaghost:

Peter 

I’m worried about him

lmaourgettingold:

Why?

Hes his regular snarky ass sarcastic self

istghesaghost: 

When we’re together he’s more subdued then in the chat

Does he not feel comfortable around me?

I’m worried

lmaourgettingold:

Define subdued

istghesaghost:

He isn’t very sarcastic at all when we talk, he doesn’t ramble as much

And he always pays when we go out, and he always stares at me in a strange way

I don’t want him to be uncomfortable around me

lmaourgettingold:

.

Respectfully kurt, your a dumbass

istghesaghost:

?

That is something Peter taught me!!

He also taught me how to use emojis properly, ♥️

lmaourgettingold:

cute 

But your still a dumbass

Private Chat: Anna-Marie - Peter Maximoff

Timestamp: 2:20 am

Anna-Marie:

You like my brother

Peter Maximoff:

What no

Wait

Two questions

Why are you texting me at this hour

And who the fuck is your brother

Anna-Marie:

Bcs i can

And my brother is kurt wagner

Peter Maximoff:

.

I dont like ur brother

Anna-Marie:

Dont lie to me

Kurt told me how you act around him

Peter Maximoff:

Wait what

Why

Does he not like me anymore

Is he bitching about me

Its okay if he is ill keep my distance

Anna-Marie:

Wow

You both are dumbasses

Two peas in a pod you two

Peter Maximoff:

???

Anna-Marie;

Hes scared that you dont want to be friends with him anymore

Because your more chaotic in chat then you are with him

Why?

Peter Maximoff:

He likes it when i talk a lot?

Anna-Marie:

Yeah

Why dont you?

Peter Maximoff:

Well

People find it overbearing yknow?

I dont want to annoy him

Anna-Marie:

I think its impossible to annoy kurt

He has the patience of a saint

And even if he could, he wouldn’t be annoyed by you being you

Peter Maximoff:

Oh

Thanks

Ig i can ramble about shit with him

Anna-Marie:

He loves listening but if you want to get him actually yapping, get him started on church architecture

He wont shut up

Peter Maximoff:

I would never want him to

I would love to hear him talk on hours on end

Anna-Marie:

Oh go fuck yourself

You both are to oblivious and sweet its sickening

Peter Maximoff:

???thanks???

Hows remy doing

Anna-Marie:

Fuck you

Peter Maximoff:

Wow

Im changing your name to bitchy romy

bitchyromy: 

Im changing yours to panic! At the gay

Romy?

panic!atthegay:

You and remy’s ship name

bitchyromy:

Kys

panic!atthegay:

DAMN

School Prep!

Timestamp: 12:40 pm

Hank McCoy:

I am genuinely wondering, what in the world was food at the cafeteria today?

Warren Worthington: 

Real tho

I usually gobble that shit up but today it tasted like straight DOGWATER

Bobby Drake:

Oh look, warrens going back to his origins

British

Scott Summers: 

Nah

His origins is birds

Bobby Drake:

birbs

Warren Worthington:

Scott i hope you die from an adrenaline overload from when you finally cum in a girl you virgin

Bobby i hope you choke on a dick you suck

Jubilee:

DAMN

CLOCKED

Bobby Drake:

IM NOT GAY

Hank McCoy:

Keep telling yourself that

I believe in you

Bobby Drake:

HANK!?!??!?!

Logan Howlett:

Imagine getting roasted by hank

Hes literally the nicest guy ever

Hank McCoy:

Logan, have you finally invested some money on deodorant? 

Rogue:

HA

Loser

Hes right tho you reek of weed

Logan Howlett:

Oh go fuck yourself

Jean Grey:

Idea!

You stop weed

Logan Howlett:

Now sweetheart

You know i cant do that

Jean Grey:

Oh well

A girl can dream

Hank McCoy:

Someone go check on Scott

Scott Summers:

HANK!?!??!?!

Jean Grey:

???

Why?

Logan Howlett:

Oh im sorry

Did scott also want to get called sweetheart?

Kurt Wagner:

Oh

This is going to be so much fun to watch

Peter Maximoff:

Kurt you messy bitch

You read my mind

Scott Summers:

Pardon?

Warren Worthington:

pArDoN oh hes so FaNCy

Bobby Drake:

Warren

Shut up

Logan Howlett:

Oh dont worry sweetheart

I leave no man behind

Scott Summers:

.

.

.

Peter Maximoff:

Five bucks says he fainted

Jubilee:

I’ll raise you on that

Hank McCoy:

Ten dollars says he’s flustered and doesn’t know what to type so he’s pretending like he fainted

Ororo Munroe:

I’m loving this side of hank

Hank McCoy:

I haven’t had my coffee yet so,

Peter Maximoff:

Valid excuse continue on

Kurt Wagner:

I fear of the kind of demon i’d become if I didn’t have caffeine

Peter Maximoff:

Dw id love you either way

Remy LeBeau:

Excuse me?

Kurt Wagner:

Aw i love you too peter

Remy LeBeau:

EXCUSE ME?

Rogue:

Remy sweetheart

Shut up

Remy LeBeau:

.

Call me sweetheart again i beg

Warren Worthington:

coughcoughBOTTOMcoughcough

Hank McCoy:

Warren, everyone knows you’d be a bottom if a girl ever approached you

Not like that is happening anytime soon

Ororo Munroe:

Lmao

Loser

Imagine

Warren Worthington:

Fuck you

Ororo Munroe:

Eat shit birdfood

Hank McCoy:

He already does

Whatever that cafeteria food is

Warren Worthington:

YOU EAT IT TO?!?

Hank McCoy:

Except I have half a brain to eat off campus most of the time

Warren Worthington:

Oh so i like to save money so sue me

Hank McCoy:

You’re rich

Warren Worthington:

Fuck off

Chapter Text

School Prep!

Timestamp: 5:15 pm

Peter Maximoff:

Guys

Guess what

Bobby Drake: 

Chicken butt

Jubilee:

Heyyy warren reference!!

Warren Worthington:

Okay since when did you get on the warren-hate-connect-to-bird thing?

Peter Maximoff:

Yall stfu

YALL I RAN A 4:58 MILE IM GOATED

Kurt Wagner:

Good job Peter!!

Peter Maximoff:

Thank you kurt it was for you

Kurt Wagner:

<3

Rogue:

Excuse me while i vomit

Logan Howlett: 

Heh welcome to my world

Rogue: 

At least me and remy are actually dating

Get on my level hoe

Hank McCoy:

That is incredibly great Peter!

Insanely fast!

One might think you take something

Scott Summers:

Oh he definitely takes something

Peter Maximoff:

Shut the fuck up youre just jealous i beat ur ass in the mile

Jean Grey:

Scott you do cross country?

Scott Summers:

ocassionaly 

Warren Worthington:

Stfu your not special

Ororo Munroe:

Peter you fucking hoe

Kurt Wagner:

Oh!

Remy LeBeau:

Oh merde

Rogue:

Yikes

What could possibly elicit such a reaction??

Logan Howlett:

“Elicit”?

Rogue:

Stfu

Ororo Munroe:

Peter you bastard

Where the fuck is it

Peter Maximoff:

Uh

The what?

Ororo Munroe:

Do not play stupid with me maximoff

Istg i will march to lehnsherr and tell him myself if you dont give it back

Rogue:

Ooookaaayyy

This is where i step in

What did peter take?

Peter Maximoff:

Yeah ororo

What DID peter take?

Ororo Munroe:

Do not play with me maximoff

I have lehnsherrs phone number

Jubilee:

Im sorry

What

You just casually have lehnsherrs phone number?

Jean Grey:

Why????

Ororo Munroe:

For purposes like this

Logan Howlett:

Oh i LIKE this kid

Scott Summers:

Do you now

Bobby Drake:

.

Wait a damn minute

@ warrenworthington dms now

Warren Worthington:

??

Sure man

Scott Summers:

Oh HELL NO

I know you two bitchasses are going to talk about me

So just fucking text in the groupchat

Bobby Drake:

You sure you want me to say it here?

Warren Worthington:

No you dumbass

The other one

Bobby Drake:

OOHHHHHHH

Peter Maximoff:

Yknow what ororo

I dont believe you

Hank McCoy:

Peter, I don’t believe it is in your best thought to provoke Ororo right now

Kurt Wagner:

Hank is right

Ororo is very capable of making things hurt

Jubilee:

You lot should just give up on talking peter into something sensible

He doesnt have a brain large enough to comprehend that

Peter Maximoff:

What is with the hate guys

Ororo Munroe:

Image attached

[screenshot of a conversation with Ororo Munroe and Erik Lehnserr about an assignment]

You sure about that speedy?

Remy LeBeau:

Chaud mince

You do not fuck around, do you????

Jubilee:

Why was that hot

#blackmailedbyahotwomenbeingalifegoal

Logan Howlett:

Damn straight

Rogue:

Freak

Jean Grey:

Careful jubilee

Your lesbian is showing

Peter Maximoff:

You wouldnt

You dont have the balls to

Jubilee:

And i oop

See i said he has no brain

Hank McCoy:

Peter I believe you are playing with fire right now

I advise you to stop before you get burned

Kurt Wagner:

Please don’t die, I want you alive so that I can kiss you

Peter Maximoff:

.

What

Logan Howlett:

Rogue

Your brothers an idiot

Rogue:

Yeah i know

Peter Maximoff:

Wait hold up

Kurt, you want to kiss me?

Kurt Wagner:

Well I would like to

If you’d allow me to

Jean Grey:

Because remember kids, consent is important!!

Remy LeBeau:

This is the stupidest love confession i’ve ever seen

Yet somehow it matches their vibe

Ill roll with it

Jubilee:

Good god, why of all times is bobby gone right now

He’d be having a field day with this

Ill send him screenshots

Ororo Munroe:

Have your gay epiphanies later

Eyes on me maximoff

Peter Maximoff:

Wait wait wait

Yall cant just drop a bomb on me and expect me to ignore it hello???

Kurt Wagner:

No no no

Ororo is right

I shall wait for her to finish

Peter Maximoff:

WAIT

NO 

COME BACK

Ororo Munroe:

Thank you kurt

As for you

Image Attached

[screenshot of a text in the bar saying ‘Peter Maximoff is your son, he is also Magda Maximoff’s child’] 

Hank McCoy:

Oh shit

OH SHIT

Logan Howlett:

Wow you got robocop to lose his composure

But seriously what the fuck

Rogue:

Oml

You all are idiots

Remy LeBeau:

C’est quoi ce bordel

C’est ton père?

Est-ce que tout le monde est devenu fou???

Jubilee:

Wow you shocked him into french

Remy LeBeau:

Ce fou merci beaucoup

Lui??

Kurt Wagner:

Is this what you were going to tell me?

Peter Maximoff:

Yeah

Among other things

Jesus ororo you can have the damn switch back

Ororo Munroe:

Was that so hard?

Jean Grey:

Dont you think that was a little over the top

Hank McCoy:

Little is an understatement

Logan Howlett:

As much as i love the blackmail train

Yeah that was a bit to much

Ororo Munroe:

He’ll get over it

Ive done worse

Plus he trusts you all

He was going to tell you sooner or later

Kurt Wagner:

But don’t you believe that should have been his choice?

Ororo Munroe:

I suppose so

dream threesome guys

Timestamp: 5:20 pm

Bottom:

Out with it

And for the love of god can we PLEASE change these names

Switch:

HELL NO

It adds to the atmosphere

Top:

Bobby

My guy

You are NEVER beating the gay allegations

Bottom:

At least change the positions

I am NOT a bottom

Top:

Nobody likes a liar scott

Bottom:

Shut up warren

Switch:

Scott, we all know that if you ever get jean in bed, she’d be the one calling all the shots

Bottom:

Bobby istg

What did you need to tell warren about me hmmm?????

Switch:

Oh yeah

I found it funny that u were jealous

Bottom:

Jealous!?!?!?!

Me???

Top:

Who else dumbass

Bottom:

Bro what

Of who help???

Switch:

Of ororo

Bottom:

What no

Why would i be jealous of her?

She’s literally aroace??????

Switch:

Rationally you know this

Top:

But your scott so ur not rational

Bottom:

Its lot like jean hit on her or anything

So why would i care

Top:

Do we really need to talk you through this?

See this is why your a bottom

Bottom:

Stfu

Explain

Switch:

You werent jealous of ororo bcs of jean

You were jealous of her bcs of logan

Bottom:

.

Im not gay

Switch:

Never said you were

Bisexuality is a thing yknow

Bottom:

Okay but

I like jean

Switch :

And?

Bottom:

So i cant like logan

Are you that stupid bobby?

Top:

Oml

Stop being a bigot scott

Bottom:

Im??literally??not??

Yall are confusing me cmon

Switch:

Warren hes not being a bigot

He just doesnt know what were talking about

Top:

Fucking

Have you never heard of a polyamorous relationship???

Bottom:

.

A what???

Switch:

Dude

Thats literally the theme of this groupchat

It means that your in a relationship with multiple people at once with their knowing consent

So basically, all three of you are in a relationship together

Bottom:

But

Wouldnt that be cheating?

Top:

No you dumbass

All THREE of you would be in a relationship TOGETHER

So if you, jean, and logan got together you’d kiss jean, jean would kiss logan, logan would kiss you

Bottom:

Thats

Thats okay?

Switch:

Its legal in the states

Knowing your brother, he’d be pretty chill with it

Bottom:

I do want to get with them

Both of them

Top:

Then whats stopping you?

Bottom:

I dont know if they’d be down

Like what if they dont agree?

Switch:

I havent talked to logan that much, but from what ive heard from jubilee and rogue, he’s a really chill guy whos open to almost everything

Pretty sure hed be down

Top:

Jean has the hots for both you and logan

Shes terrible at hiding it

Bottom:

She does?

Switch:

Can confirm

Jubilee has told me lol

Bottom:

I mean

Ig i can try

The worst thing they can say is no, right?

Top:

PRAISE THE LORD

ABOUT FUCKING TIME

IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO GROW BALLS

Switch:

Atta boy

Go gettem tiger

Bottom:

Well

Not at this moment

I have hw

But sometime this WEEK

Top:

Works for me

Im just glad you got your head out of your ass

Bottom:

Love you to warren

Top:

Fuck you

Private Chat: Jubilation Lee - Bobby Drake

Timestamp: 6:00 pm

Beebeejubilee:

Image Attached

[screenshot of the groupchat where Peter and Ororo were arguing]

Robert:

Jesus

I leave for what, an hour and things go to shit

Beebeejubilee:

That was a big thing ororo told everyone about

Will they still be friends after this?

Robert:

Oh yeah they will

Like ororo said, she has done worse

Beebeejubilee:

You seem to know both of them pretty well

Them and scott and warren

Robert:

Well, i met peter and ororo in high school

They’ve been friends since primary

Beebeejubilee:

Shit really?

Robert:

Yup

Longer then me, warren and scott have been friends

We met in middle school

Beebeejubilee:

Your absolutely positive that this wont affect their friendship?

Robert:

Pretty sure

But they’ll have to apologize to each other

Private Chat: Peter Maximoff - Kurt Wagner

Schatz:

Kurt

Did you mean what you said in the groupchat

That you wanted to kiss me?

Miláčik:

Yes I did

If that’s okay?

Schatz:

I would love that actually

Miláčik:

What is it you call that here?

Ah

Are we boyfriends now?

Schatz:

If you want to be

Miláčik:

I would love that actually

Schatz:

<3

Miláčik: 

<3

Private Chat: Ororo Munroe - Peter Maximoff

Timestamp: 12:37 am

idontthinktheresawordforcompletelymentallyderanged:

Peter

I need to apologize

I shouldnt have reacted the way that i did

I should have let you tell them the way you wanted to tell them

kleptomaniac:

Thanks ororo

Apology meant a lot

But a im not all that mad at you

It was partially my fault

I shouldnt have stolen your switch

idontthinktheresawordforcompletelymentallyderanged:

You shouldn’t have, but i still over reacted

Im sorry

kleptomaniac:

I cant all be that mad at you

Your the reason me and kurt got tgther anyways

idonthinktheresawordforcompletelymentallyderanged:

Wait actually

Congratulations!!

kleptomaniac:

Thank you

Also i think ur right

I should tell erik sooner or later

I should stop pussying out

idonthinktheresawordforcompletelymentallyderanged:

Take your time

kleptomaniac:

Ororo

Since when do i ever take my time?

idonthinkttheresawordforcompletelymentallderanged:

touché

Private Chat: Kurt Wagner - Anna-Marie

istghesaghost:

Image Attached

[screenshot of Kurt and Peter getting together]

lmaourgettingold :

Excuse me while i got vomit

istghesaghost:

Love you to rogue

lmaourgettingold:

Boo you whore

Chapter Text

violently convulsing on the floor cause were sexy like that

Timestamp: 1:08 am

superspeedy:

Ok guys

I got this

What could possibly go wrong?

froyo:

He could freak out and ask for professor xavier to remove you from this school?

constipated:

dude

birdfood:

Not helping man

ragingweatherofhormones:

Oh my god you all suck

Peter just tell him

superspeedy:

But like

How

How do u go up to smone and be like, hey dude im your fucking son

Thats so weird

constipated:

Then dont do that

Write a note or smth

froyo:

Oh because that would go so well

“Yo im ur son check the boxes if you accept”

Bro what

constipated;

Man

At least im trying

birdfood:

I dont see whats so wrong with the whole just say it to him thing

Lehnserr’s a pretty get to the point guy

Pretty sure hed appreciate you saying smth like that

superspeedy:

But like

Its so blunt

ragingweatherofhormones:

God

Fuck you all

@ororomunroe added @annamarie to “violently convulsing on the floor cause were sexy like that”

@ororomunroe changed @annamarie name to ‘whitestreakinmyhairbutnostressnow’

ragingweatherofhormones:

For the love of god

Please please please knock some sense into these people

I will buy you all the coffee you want

whitestreakinmyhairbutnostressnow:

Oh wtf is this

Wait

Backreading

Oh

Just email him

birdfood:

Im sorry

What

whitestreakinmyhairbutnostressnow:

Legit just email him

froyo:

Waitwaitwait

You want peter to email lehnsherr about their supposed father-son relationship?

whitestreakinmyhairbutnostressnow:

Yeah?

Whats the problem?

superspeedy:

.

Holy shit im fucked

You were supposed to be the smart one

constipated:

Im still not seeing the problem with my ‘give him a letter’ idea

birdfood:

Scott for the love of god pls shut the fuck up

ragingweatherofhormones:

Elaborate

whitestreakinmyhairbutnostressnow:

Lehnsherr always checks his emails

So he’ll see it

And if it goes bad you can just blame it on alcohol

Say like “oh i meant to say that you seem like a father figure to me”

Fool proof plan

froyo:

Why does that lowkey make sense

birdfood:

Rogue’s right

Lehnsherr always checks his emails

And the best way to avoid a situation is to blame it on alcohol

Trust me it works

constipated: 

Didn’t you break up with two of ur girlfriends by pretending to be an alcoholic 

birdfood:

Scott istg

Shut the fuck up

whitestreakinmyhairbutnostressnow:

Wait

Wait no scott continue

I want to hear more about this

ragingweatherofhormones:

Its not like warren was lying lol

birdfood:

You be quiet

superspeedy:

Alright

Im emailing him

froyo:

Good luck dude

Dw we got ur back if it goes south

constipated:

Yeah man

If it goes bad head to my apartment and we’ll eat all the twinkies you want and watch that shitty movie of yours

ragingweatherofhormones:

Oh and we’ll play undertale

superspeedy:

Megalovania level?

birdfood:

Oh fuck you yknow i always fail at that level

constipated:

Musics fire tho

birdfood:

Cant argue with that

superspeedy:

Rogue youll join

whitestreakinmyhairbutnostressnow:

Wait actually?

superspeedy:

Seriously

Girl your one of the only reasons im working up the courage to do this rn

Thank you so much

whittestreakinmyhairbutnostressnow:

You got this peter <3

constipated:

Ill send you my address

whitestreakinmyhairbutnostressnow:

Ty!

But why are we planning for if lehnsherr doesnt accept him?

ragingweatherofhormones:

Oh peters anyways going to be in shambles after that email

Better to just be prepared

Private Chat: Peter Maximoff - Kurt Wagner

Timestamp: 1:20 am

Schatz: 

Im doing it today

Right now

Miláčik:

Ah

Glückwunsch!

You’ve got this der liebling

Schatz:

Thank you milý

Miláčik:

<3

Schatz:

<3

INBOX:

You have (one) new mail!

Would you like to open it?

You have selected to open it!

From: Pietro Django Maximoff      >>>>>([email protected])

To: Erik Lehnsherr     >>>>>([email protected]) 

Dear Prof. Lehnsherr

I have decided to email you with urgent news.

It has come to my recent attention that you and my mother (Magda Maximoff – formerly Eisenhardt) had sexual intercourse around twenty years ago. 

Around twenty years ago, I was born. 

Surprise, you're my dad!! (pause for dramatic effect — rahhhh the cymbals are crashing, the guitar is halting)

I hope and pray that you didn’t get parent trapped, and if you did, whoopsie.

Have a splendid day,

Peter Maximoff

#wecouldhavehadabetterlifeifwewereanarchists

Timestamp: 2:30 am

serious(level,EXTREME):

@all

Get up

All of you 

caillou(butlike,older):

Erik, why in the world are you up at this ungodly hour

…

Alex did you rename the chat again

THEbrochacho:

Whoopsie

Sorry charlie yknow how it goes

caillou(butlike,older):

I actually don’t

couldbeabrochachobutimscaredofher:

Erik what the actual fuck do you want

.

Alex did you have a fucking stroke or something

THEbrochacho:

Hey!

Dont knock on the scared guy!

REEEEEE(aggressively):

Your always confused alex

…

Really?

Is this about highschool?

THEbrochacho:

Hey so sean?

Fuck off

caillou(butlike,older):

I created this group chat so that we could discuss lesson plans

Not at people in the middle of the night and rename names into something foolish

couldbeabrochachobutimscaredofher:

Yeah summers

Erik what the fuck do you want

serious(level,EXTREME):

[Attached: screenshot of the email that Peter had sent Erik]

caillou(butlike,older):

…

What the fuck

What the fuck

REEEEEE(aggressively):

Holyyyy

Erik you knocked the british out of charles

Thats insane

THEbrochacho:

Wait  were you both just parent trapped

serious(level,EXTREME):

What does that mean

Why both

Only me

THEbrochacho:

Arent u two dating

caillou(butlike,older):

Holy shit

serious(level,EXTREME):

Why in gods name would I be dating charles

REEEEEE(aggressively):

Alex

Stfu

Hes had one big realization today

Dont add more

familial group chat and shit

Timestamp: 2:35 am

motherdearest:

[Image attached: the professor group chat]

Peter finally fessed up?

Don’t ignore me, I know your all awake

daughter#1:

oh wow

logan owes me so much money

daughter#2:

Why?

daughter#1:

i knew those lot had a groupchat

motherdearest:

hello???

back on track here?

daughter#2:

Yes

Peter decided to tell Mr Lehnsherr about their familial relationship

daughter#1:

prof xavier and lehnsherr are dating?

motherdearest:

no

their to fucking oblivious 

daughter#1:

lowkey forgot scotts brothers a TA

daughter#2:

Isn’t Hank on his way to becoming one?

motherdearest:

…

are you shits just going to ignore me

daughter#1:

we should add peter to this chat

since ur dating him and shit

daughter#2:

That means we should also add Remy

motherdearest: 

wait what

#wecouldhavehadabetterlifeifwewereanarchists

Timestamp: 2:45 am

REEEEEE(aggressively):

charles has been only saying holy shit for the past fifteen minutes

should we be worried

THEbrochacho:

why do you sound like a fucking reddit post

REEEEEE(aggressively):

stfu

caillou(butlike,older):

holy shit

REEEEEE(aggressively):

no but /srs

wtf do we do

THEbrochacho:

man

tf am i supposed to do

ts is eriks problem bro

REEEEEE(aggressively):

idfk

give him advice or smth????

THEbrochacho:

how the fuck am i supposed to give him advice😭😭

REEEEEE(aggressively):

arent u used to shit like this

THEbrochacho:

.

are

are you implying that i got a girl pregnant and left her?

REEEEEE(aggressively):

well when you put it like that

THEbrochacho:

sean wtf

im ur best friend man

REEEEEE(aggressively):

yeah

and as ur best friend

ik how much that thing was swinging

serious(level,EXTREME):

Both of you shut the hell up

What in the absolute world am I going to do

caillou(butlike,older):

Oh my lord, Erik’s a dad

Erik’s a father

My Erik has a kid

THEbrochacho:

YOUR erik has a kid?

couldbeabrochachobutimscaredofher:

alex stfu

theyre both stupid leave it alone

REEEEEE(aggressively):

wait did scott know about this?

hes friends with peter isnt he?

THEbrochacho:

oh good point

imma go ask him

serious(level,EXTREME):

Charles, direct messages

couldbeabrochachobutimscaredofher:

oml erik just say dms

its not that hard

Private Message: Erik Lehnsherr - Charles Xavier

erik <3:

charles

what do I do?

charles♡:

what do you think erik?

youll have to talk to him

erik<3:

but what if he doesnt want me in his life?

gods charles twenty years

i missed twenty years of my sons life

i didnt even think magda was pregnant when we divorced

after anya, i just wasn’t thinking

charles♡:

erik, peter went out of his way to tell you

he even emailed you

gmail is the only thing you actually check

email him back and come up with a time and date 

erik<3:

….

if your sure

charles♡:

i’m sure

INBOX:

99+ unread

You have (one) new mail!

Would you like to open it?

You have chosen to open it!

From: Erik Lehnsherr 

>>>>>([email protected])

To: Pietro Django Maximoff

>>>>>([email protected])

Peter,

In light of recent revelation, I ask that we meet on campus, maybe on the track or at a cafe?

Please contact me again so we can make plans

Lehnsherr

INBOX:

You have (one) new mail!

Would you like to open it?

You have chosen to open it!

From: Pietro Django Maximoff

>>>>>([email protected]) 

To: Erik Lehnsherr

>>>>>([email protected]) 

sybau

#wecouldhavehadabetterlifeifwewereanarchists

serious(level,EXTREME):

[screenshot of the email peter sent him]

???

What is this

THEbrochacho:

oh that poor kid

ill text scott

REEEEEE(aggressively):

LMAOOOO

poor peter lol

couldbeabrochachobutimscaredofher:

oh that damned bastard

familial group chat and shit

motherdearest:

add me to that fuckass group chat you lot have

i need to yell at peter

daughter#2:

Oh lord

Please don’t kill my boyfriend

motherdearest:

no promises

Chapter Text

violently convulsing on the floor cause were sexy like that

@annamarie added @ravendarkholme to “violently convulsing on the floor cause were sexy like that”

Raven Darkholme:

peter 

i swear to god im going to fucking kill you

superspeedy:

oh fuck me

ororo hide me

ragingweatherofhormones:

oh HELL no

your on ur own buddy

froyo:

are we not going to question how rogue has darkholmes number?

nobody?

okay

constipated:

darkholme’s rogue’s mom

froyo:

.

and

and was this just common knowledge?

Raven Darkholme:

Get with the times bitch

Peter wtf is wrong with you

Birdfood:

peter bro

wtf did you do 😭

Constipated:

Yeah man

What DID you do

She seems pissed

whitestreakinmyhairbutnostressnow:

Oh yeah shes realll pissed

You better hope she doesnt know where u live peter

superspeedy:

.

Well shit

whitestreakinmyhairbutnostressnow:

No shot

Actually?

Holy shit ur fucked

constipated:

Bro??

Why does darkholme know where you live bro???

superspeedy:

I mean i live on campus its not THAT hard to figure out

But there is lore

Lore that i will not divulge in

ragingweatherofhormones:

But lore i will be divulging in

Dm me if you want to know

Raven Darkholme:

You are the only sufferable person in this entire groupchat

whitestreakinmmyhairbutnostressnow:

Yo????

Betrayed by my own flesh and blood how dare

Raven Darkholme:

Your adopted

birdfood:

ur adopted?

whitestreakinmyhairbutnostressnow:

Yeah my parents chose me

Raven Darkholme:

Ehhhhhhhh

whitestreakinmyhairbutnostressnow:

fym ehhhh?

froyo:

Back on topic

Why are we killing peter

superspeedy:

NOBODIES killing peter actually

so 

Raven Darkholme:

[screenshot of the email peter sent erik]

constipated:

Oh wtf

DUDE

birdfood:

HOLY FUMBLE

 ts is genuinely wild

froyo:

This is like the biggest fumble ive ever seen

and im friends with SCOTT

constipated:

oh fuck off im not THAT bad

ragingweatherofhormones:

peter

my guy

ur my best friend and i love you but what the genuine fuck????

‘sybau’

to ur own FATHER

superspeedy:

oh FUCK OFF

I PANICKED OK?????

whitestreakinmyhairbutnostressnow:

panicking is not sending the email

sending a literal boomer who was probably alive in ww2 ‘sybau’ 

fucking dumbass

Raven Darkholme:

lmao im telling erik you said he was alive during ww2

rogue’s right though

your a dumbass

superspeedy:

ok well

how do i fix it

froyo:

I mean you already fucked up the email approach

so 

how about you text him or smth

ororo has his number right?

Raven Darkholme:

you have eriks phone number?

ragingweatherofhormones:

yeah i do

Raven Darkholme:

why?

ragingweatherofhormones:

for an assignment

constipated: 

i think peter has lost his credibly to type

he’ll chicken out again or smth

he should call him

froyo:

good idea dude

congrats!!

birdfood: 

omg scott you used ur brain

you should take some advil so your head doesnt hurt

constipated:

ok

it is not such a rare occurrence for me to have good ideas

froyo:

ooooo big boy word

‘occurence’ 

birdfood:

woowowooww

two big things today

congrats scott!!

highly recommend taking that advil rn

constipated:

oh fuck off

ragingweatherofhormones:

ill dm you his number

superspeedy:

alright 

ok

I got this

Its just a phone call right?

Raven Darkholme: 

If you say sybau outloud i will kill you

superspeedy:

I wont okay?

Ill try not to

whitestreakinmyhairbutnostressnow:

Take two peter

You got this!!

Private Chat: Erik Lehnsherr - (914) *** ****

(914) *** ****:

uh hello

is this erik lehnsherr?

Erik Lehnsherr:

Yes

Yes it is

Who might this be?

(914) *** ****:

Peter Maximoff

sir 

@eriklehnsherr has renamed (914) *** **** to ‘Peter’  

Erik Lehnsherr:

Erik

Please drop the sir

May I ask why you are texting me?

Peter:

uh 

i emailed you about some really serious stuff

and then panicked

so 

im hear to talk about said srs stuff

Erik Lehnsherr:

Of course

Peter:

can we call?

srry its just that i feel like im going chicken out if we talk about this over text

Erik Lehnsherr:

Of course Peter

Outgoing call; Erik Lehnsherr - Peter

“Ok so cool…uhm thank you so much for agreeing to this Professor Lehnsherr, it means a lot.” 

“Of course, and Peter, drop the Professor, Erik is just fine.” 

“Right yeah Erik uhuh.”

“Was it a prank?”

“...What?”

“Was the email a prank Peter? If so, you can admit it now and have no repercussions, I'll make sure of it myself. All you have to do is—-”

“What!? No!? Of course not!? That’s such a dickhead move! Seriously, it so fucked up to ever say that to someone, even while drunk, which was my plan but it backfired horrendously because I freaked outwhichissostupidcausei’mtheonetellingyouallthissowhyamIfreakingout—”

“Peter?”

“What? Hm oh yeah?” 

“I couldn’t understand a word that you said.” 

“Oh whoops. Sorry I sometimes do that. English isn’t my first language, y'know? Polish and Slovak are much much faster paced than English. My therapist also says that I speak fast so I’m able to get everything I want to say out. She says it’s a coping mechanism from being alone and ignored for so long soooo.” 

“...First thing; Your first language isn’t English? You weren’t born here?” 

“Hell no. I was born in Slovakia. My grandmother taught me Polish. My name is actually Pietro, my m– Magda wanted me to ‘fit in’ I guess so she started calling me Peter. Ororo calls me Pietro from time-to-time but only in serious situations. She’s the only one who knows my name is Pietro. Well, other than you of course.” 

“...I see. Thank you for trusting me with that. Pietro is a beautiful name, I am surprised she named you that though. It was what we were going to name our late daughter if she was a boy.” 

“Anya?” 

“Magda told you about her?”

“...No, my grandmother did. M– Magda was a real good gatekeeper, y’know? If it wasn’t for my grandmother I wouldn’t have ever known you were my father.” 

“...Forgive me if I’m overstepping, but I'm guessing you and Magda don’t have the greatest relationship?” 

“She disowned me when I was sixteen.” 

“...She what?”

“Disowned me. She didn’t like me for a number of reasons. I was too needy, dyed my hair different colors, cost her a lot of money, I was too fast and I had ADHD. I think the straw that broke the camels back was that I was gay, thank GOD for Ororo, otherwise I would have been on the streets.” 

“Ms. Munroe gave you a place to live?”

“Yuuppp lived in her shitty apartment with her till the end of high school. Got into Xavier’s with a cross country scholarship.” 

“I’m so sorry Pe– Pietro, if I had known—”

“But you didn’t, and that’s not your fault. You didn’t even know I existed man, don’t blame yourself. Also I knew for a while but held out on telling you, you literally have nothing to blame for.” 

“May I ask why you were too hesitant to tell me?”

“...I was scared you wouldn’t, y'know, want me. I mean I'm a twenty-year old something that’s barely passing my classes, and I felt that it would be unfair to drop that onto you.” 

“Pietro, you're not a burden. Raven talks about you highly in her classes. Summers is happy he has a brilliant athlete on his team. You write amazing essays in my classes, I would have never expected you to not have English as your first language. Pietro, I am proud of you as a teacher, and I would be even prouder to call you my son.” 

“...Christ almighty dude I think I’m crying. Thank you, I really needed that.” 

“Of course Pietro.” 

“We talked a lot about me, what about you? I’m down for a bit of father-son story-telling.” 

“I would be glad to share stories with you, son.” 

“Thanks dad.” 

Private Chat: Erik Lehnsherr - Charles Xavier

erik <3:

Everything is okay

And now I have a son 

charles♡:

See?

I’m glad everything worked out

Now when can I meet him?

erik <3:

Shut up charles

Private Chat: Peter Maximoff - Ororo Munroe

kleptomaniac:

I now have a father :D

idontthinktheresawordforcompletelymentallyderanged:

what did i tell you?

everything was going to be okay

kleptomaniac:

You did say that

ororo i gotta thank you man

youve been with me for the most bullshit ever

ily so much

idontthinktheresawordforcompletelymentallyderanged:

youve come a long way padawan

and im insanely proud of you

16 year old you would be foaming at the mouth rn

kleptomaniac:

damn right he would be

@jubilationlee has created a chat!

@jubilationlee has added: @bobbydrake, @petermaximoff, @annamarie, @hankmccoy, @remylebeau, @ororomunroe and @alexsummers to the chat!

@jubilationlee has renamed the chat gossip girls!

gossip girls!

Jubilation Lee:

Alright motherfuckers

operation get those idiots is a go

Remy LeBeau:

oh non

Alex Summers:

fucking finally

cant wait to make sure my brother doesnt die alone

Bobby Drake:

pretty sure thats set in stone

Peter Maximoff:

cant disrupt a canon event lol