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Chapter Text

Choi Seungcheol

26 years

The Devil

"I'd be lying if I said losing you was something I could handle."

Yoon Jeonghan

26 years

The Angel

"And the sweet little Angle couldn't keep his eyes of the Devil."

Wen Junhui

24 years

The Demon

"I'm not the good guy remember? I'm the selfish one. I take what I want, I do what I want. I don't do the right thing."

Xu Minghao

21 years

The Soft One

"I was quiet, but I wasn't blind."

Kwon Soonyoung 

24 years

The Heartbreaker

"The best way not to get your heart broken, is to pretend not to have one."

Lee Jihoon 

23 years

The Realist

"My music will tell you more about me, then I ever will."

Lee Seokmin 

22 years

The Flirt

"My biggest fear is that you will eventually see me the way I see myself."

Hong Jisoo 

 2 5 years

The Strong

"People cry, not because they're weak. They cry because they have been strong far too long."

Kim Mingyu 

21 years

The Bad Boy

"He wore a thousend faces, just to hide his own."

Jeon Wonwoo 

23 years

The Silent

"I don't even know my own self, so who can know me?"

Choi Vernon 

20 years

The Rebel

"I'm sorry for all the people I hurt, while I was hurting."

Boo Seungkwan 

1 9 years

The Romantic

"Good people are like candles, they burn themselves up to give othres light."

Lee Chan

18 years

The Hurt

"It hurts when you realize that you aren't as important to someone as you thought you were."

Chapter Text

When I meet you after time passes

I'll know uh (you were my future)

I'll know uh (I was your yesterday)

When I meet you after time passes

I'll know uh (you protected me)

I'll know uh (I desired you)

"Don't put me in a position where I have to show you how cold my heart can get."

"There's always a wild side to an innocent face."

"I know you are not proud of me Dad."

"I am a child, who was never the first choice."

"You came?"

"You called."

Chapter Text

He was an angel that made even the devil want to get to heaven.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The lights in the club were flashing and blinding. People were dancing with each other, drinking and chatting with each other, while music was blasting out from the speakers. 

Seongcheol was walking through the club, away from the bar, with a cold smile on his face, leaving, yet again, a heartbroken girl behind, while the crowd parted like the red sea. 

He thought back at her pathetic eyes, so full of love and devotion. “Please Seungcheol, you promised me to never leave me.”, “Why are you doing this to me.”, “I did everything you wanted.”, “Was this a game all along?”, “Why can’t you just care a bit more and put more effort in our relationship?” He snickers thinking back at her pitiful words and expression.

She had hoped that he was the one and that he truly loved her. She apparently loved him so much that she ignored every red flag Seungcheol showed. When he ignored her and ghosted her. She should have left the moment she found out that Seungcheol was cheating on her, but she stayed. He just needed to bat his eyes at her and promise to never cheat on her again and she seemingly forgot about everything.

It felt satisfying breaking her heart into two. But he didn’t care. For Seungcheol it was a game. It wasn’t his fault that they got their hopes up and trusted him blindly. Neither was it his fault that they put all they had into their relationship, when Seungcheol showed them from the start that he wasn’t a good person. 

As he walked out of the club, his eyes suddenly caught sight of what he could only describe as an angel. The boy was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He was dancing in the club with someone else, throwing his head back and laughing. He looked bright and his laughter just seemed to brighten up the room.

He had wavy blond hair with green accents in them, which was falling softly on his shoulder. He had a delicate, oval-shaped face, soft features with high cheekbones. He had beautiful almond shaped eyes and a brilliant and warm smile on his face. That was the only thing Seungcheol could make out from his face, but he noticed the angel's slender and tall physique and how graceful he moved under the colorful flashing lights of the club.

Seungcheol couldn’t tear his eyes away and felt his heart skip a beat, the world seemed to stop for a moment. The world seemed suddenly much brighter and he felt like he could forget everything in the world. He wanted to walk over but the next moment a group of people were walking past in front of him, blocking his view on the ray of sunshine on the dance floor, as soon as the group passed the boy disappeared, leaving Seungcheol annoyed.

He wanted the boy. He wanted to own him and ruin him for everyone else, make him emotionally dependent on him, make him never leave him and hide him away from the world. He felt the desire to scratch everyone's eyes out and chop their hands off, who dared to look and touch his angel. A mad smile crossed his lips, he would find this angel and make him his. No one would take this angel from him and if they tried, he would kill them, make them wish that they never crossed him. Same would go to the people who dared to make his angel cry. He would never let a single tear escape those beautiful almond eyes.

As soon as this thought crossed his mind Seungcheol stilled. What was this angel doing with him? He never felt like this before. Of course it was no secret for Seungcheol that he liked both boys and girls. He knew that early on in life, but he never felt the need to own a person, never felt the need to make someone dependent on him and to protect them, except maybe his siblings.

With this thought he turned around walking about the club and towards his car, which was already parked in front of the club. One of his men gave him his car keys and he got in and started speeding down the street, without a care in the world.

He sped down the colorful lighted streets of Seoul, without caring for the speed regulations. Who would dare to stop him? He was Choi Seungcheol, one of the richest men, after his fathers passing. The last person who dared to stop him, nearly lost their job. The person was lucky that they had a family to take care of or Seungcheol would have made them jobless, which should prove that he wasn’t a bad person. 

He continued driving through the streets and stopped in front of Choi Industries. He held in front of the entrance and got out, throwing his car keys to one of the valets, before entering the building and walking over towards the private elevator, which was only for the family, while walking past the reception desk he heard the receptionist talk about, how her mothers birthday was in a few days and how happy she was to see her family again.

He felt his heart get heavy as he got into the elevator and clicked on the button from the top floor and the elevator started moving up, when the door closed his thoughts started drifting towards his own family.

Choi Industries had 35 floors, with the top three floors only for his family, the other floors were dedicated to everything that had to do with science and development and who knows what more. 

If he was honest Seungcheol didn’t really care. If it wasn’t for his brothers he would have already left home a long time ago. If his father could have at least been a decent husband to his wife and a decent father, he wouldn’t be here managing his fathers company and his multiple clubs, he had owned, when he was alive.

No, he would have been a Counselor. He didn’t want to be in this position, where he had to give up his dream, but he had to after his mother died, when he was fifteen and his father came home, with six boys who were his siblings. Wen Junhui, Kwon Soonyoung, Lee Seokmin, Kim Mingyu, Choi Vernon and Lee Chan.

This was when his world came crashing down, he believed that his father was a loving and devoted husband towards his mother. He couldn’t believe that his father cheated on his mother several times. He didn’t blame his siblings. How could he, when he knew that they were just victims of his fathers mistakes. That was the same day that he caught his girlfriend cheating on him, with who he thought was his best friend.

That day he stopped believing in true love. He started drinking and sleeping around, he stopped dreaming to become a Counselor and followed his father into business, since that was what his father wanted. He never saw anything wrong with his behavior, when he started having affairs with multiple women at the same time, he never imagined that this behavior would influence his siblings and when he realized it was already too late. Five of his siblings already took over the same lifestyle he had.

When his father found out, he was furious. His father beat him into unconsciousness and left him laying in his office. This wasn’t the first time his father laid hands on him. After his mothers death, he often was drunk and laid hands on him and to prevent hurting his younger siblings he let his father take his frustration out on him. He didn’t care about himself, he long stopped caring what would happen to him

He was 24 at the time. That time Jun and Soonyoung witnessed the beating, which led to them developing a rather violent character and they practically fell apart. They became like their father. A womanizer, playboy with violent tendencies and emotionally unavailable.

He hated himself for letting this happen, but what could he do, fighting back would just result in his siblings getting hurt and he couldn’t let that happen. He tried protecting them and shielding them the best he could, but in the end the only one he could protect was his baby brother. Who was the only one who stayed untouched from their fathers wrath, but not from theirs.

It was a few months after the beating that their father died. They weren’t sad. None of them felt anything for their father, except their youngest brother. Who didn’t understand how his brothers could be so cold and unfeeling.

That was the beginning of Chan pulling back from them. After that it was like a veil was lifted from Chan’s eyes and he finally saw the world how it really was. A cruel and unforgiving place. He finally saw his brother's true colors. It was too much for the then 16 year old boy and he started pulling back and begging his brothers on multiple occasions to stop their lifestyle and to change, but it never worked. Which resulted in Chan pulling more and more away.

Now they were barely talking with each other, just seeing each other, if it's absolutely necessary. 

The elevator doors opened and Seungcheol stepped out of the elevator into the Lobby of the penthouse. He walked towards the living room, where he could already hear the voices of his siblings. When he walked past the kitchen, he nearly collided with Chan.

He wanted to greet him, but Chan just side stepped him and walked towards the stairs, which led towards the downstairs floor where the bed rooms were, completely ignoring Seungcheol. When he walked past him, Seungcheol could see his brother's teary eyes. He watched as Chan disappeared down the stairs.

He stood there for another few minutes, before continuing to walk towards the living room, where his other siblings were. When he walked into the living room, all his siblings turned towards him.

“Hyung, you are already back?”, asked Seokmin, while swinging the whisky in his glass around. “Yeah, everything went smoothly”, he said, while walking over towards the bar and pouring himself a glass of whisky. “She threw a fit, but it was her fault for staying”, he continued dismissively. 

He walked over towards the couch and sat down next to Mingyu, swaying the whisky in his glass, while looking over his siblings. Jun was having headphones on while staring at something on his phone, while Soonyoung was texting someone on his phone. Seokmin, Vernon and Mingyu were talking about Seokmin's last girlfriend, even though Mingyu seemed distracted.

He let out an inaudible sigh, leaning back and drank the whisky with one sip. 

His siblings may have thought that he didn’t know, but he knew. They may have thought he didn’t pay them enough attention, but he paid them enough to know.

He could see how Soonyoung had found someone, who he would spend the rest of his life with. He knew it for weeks and it became clear for him, when Soonyoung started texting more with a smile on his face. It never happened before, he never smiled, when a fling texted him. He knew it, when Soonyoung refused to go clubbing and got in an argument with Vernon. He stormed out angrily and didn’t return for a few days. He knew it when Soonyoung came home in tears and hugged him, refusing to talk. He knew it when he started smiling and texting a week later again. 

Jun and Mingyu also found someone. He knew it. He could see it.

They may have thought he didn’t care about them and didn’t pay attention to them, but he was the one who cared the most.

He put the glass down on the table and stood up. “Where are you going Hyung?” asked Soonyoung, looking up. “I have something to do”, he answered, walking out.

He walked down the stairs, pulled his phone out and sent a message to one of his men at the club and told him to send the security footage over. He walked into his office, sitting down and flipped on his computer, the glow of the screens casting an eerie light in the dim room. He opened his Emails and opened the email with the footage of the club.

He clicked on the footage and it started playing, showing nothing at first just the staff taking care of the club, before he skipped towards the end, around the time he arrived at the club. The footage showed the thrumming energy of the night he had just left. It was chaotic and alive, people moving in rhythm to the bass, drinks sloshing in their hands, laughter spilling into the air.

He fast-forwarded through the scenes until he caught sight of the boy -the angel- dancing, his laughter infectious. He felt a familiar rush of desire, he needed to know more. He focused on the boy, memorizing every detail, the way his hair fell just right, the spark in his eyes, the radiant smile that could cut through the club’s heavy darkness.

He clicked a button to slow down the footage, capturing the angel’s face in clear detail. With a smirk, he thought about the others in the club, those who dared to draw close to him, their hands resting too casually on his shoulders, their eyes lingering too long. His anger bubbled up, no one else could have him. He wanted the boy to himself, to keep him safe from the cruelness of the world, which took so much from him.

His finger hovered over the rewind button, and he replayed the moment the boy first caught his eye. The thought of finding him, of claiming him, sent a thrill through his veins. He had spent his life avoiding emotional connections, yet the boy stirred something deep within him. An urge to possess, to protect, to cherish.

"Who the hell are you?", he muttered to himself. He paused the footage, when the angel’s face was seen the clearest. He then took a picture and sent it over to one of his contacts, before sending a message: ‘Find everything you can about this boy and send it to me.’ He then put his phone down, the anticipation making him restless. He glanced at the clock; it was late, but he didn’t care. The hunt was on, and he was determined to claim what he desired.

He needed a plan to approach his angel. As he waited for a response, his thoughts drifted back to Chan. The pain in his brother’s eyes had cut deeper than he cared to admit. He had tried to shield him, but it hadn’t been enough. He tried to shield all his siblings, but whatever he did was never enough. His father was right, all he did was screw everything up. He put his hands in his and ruffled his hair in frustration. 

Maybe if he could bring some light into his own life, it would also help Chan heal. Maybe this boy could be that light. If he could fix himself first, he could help fix his brothers. He just needed the angel.

A ding from his phone snapped him from his reverie. His contact had responded quickly.

Yoon Jeonghan, 26 years old, works as a Counselor at Hanul Academy. Lives in an apartment near xxx. He lives with his friend Hong Jisoo and his family and four others. Seems like a good kid—no criminal record, minimal social media presence. Just a couple of close friends, not close to his family. Father, mother, three brothers and an adoptive sister. Apparently left home as soon as he hit eighteen. Works part time at Hong’s Bakery. Will keep digging.

His grin widened. This was promising.

“Good kid,” he muttered. “Just what I need.”

He stood up, his heart pounding with newfound energy. He needed to see the boy again, to watch him dance under the lights, to hear that laughter that seemed to echo even through the cameras. Tonight hadn’t been enough; he needed more.

He walked over towards the window and looked out. A grin was spreading over his face.

“Just wait angel. Soon you are mine and only mine”, he chuckled.

Chapter Text

“I can’t help you Lee Chan-ssi, if you don’t talk to me”, Jeonghan lets out a sigh and gives the boy sitting across from him a pointed look, but the boy across from him stays silent. “Chan-ssi, this is the fifth time this week that you got into trouble for fighting with your classmates and we don’t even talk about the last weeks. Everytime after your fights you land in my office, after you talk with the principal, yet you refuse to talk to me. The principal told me he will issue a meeting with your guardian next week”, he said, his eyes never leaving Chan’s face searching for a reaction from the boy. Chan stiffened, but stayed silent. “You may go now Chan-ssi”, Jeonghan said, looking at the clock on the wall. It was already 6 pm. 

Chan stood up, picked up his bag and left, without another word. As soon as the door closed, Jeonghan collapsed on his chair, it was like all his strength had left him. He tried his best making Chan open up to him, for the last three weeks, they would always talk an hour, but Chan refused to open up. Now the principal had enough of Chan’s misbehaving behavior and called for a guardian-teacher meeting, where they will decide further. He overheard the principal talking about putting Chan in mandatory counseling with him. 

Normally Jeonghan didn’t have a hard time, making students open up to him. They felt comfortable around him and they often said that no one could understand them like Jeonghan could. Moments like this warmed Jeonghan’s heart. He loved the moments of warmth, before the cold sense of self loathing crept back into his mind, but with Chan it was different, he didn't seem to trust anyone, hiding and keeping to himself. Jeonghan found small improvements, with their sessions, Chan didn’t run out or didn’t show up at all, like at the beginning. He at least stayed for the whole session.

He started packing up, it was soon time to go home, just half an hour more. Luckily Chan was his last student for today. He grabbed his phone, dread crept into him, when he saw the messages. He started fidgeting and his finger was rapidly tapping against his phone, debating whether to open the messages or just to delete and ignore it. Another message popped up despite his better judgement, Jeonghan opened the message. 

He should have known, it shouldn’t have hurt so much as it did. He should have been prepared for the storm of crude and hateful words, which filled his screen. That was the only reason his family would even write him, to yell at him and tell him what a disgrace he is. Whatever lie his sister came up with again. 

She would always come up with things to blame him, since she moved in with them twenty years ago. She had everyone wrapped around her finger, Jeonghan adored her once too, but for some reason she seemed to despise him. She hurt herself and blamed him, she would act like he bullied her and in return Jeonghan got punished for things he didn’t do. Even in school she managed to play the pity party and managed to bring his classmates to bully him. She even stole his boyfriend. He was his close childhood friend. One of the only ones who stayed by his side. It was at his engagement party that he found out that his boyfriend was cheating on him the whole time with his sister and that his other childhood friend also betrayed him. In his anger he slapped sister, he thought that his family would finally defend him for once. But how wrong he was. Before he knew what happened, he was on the ground and his brother furiously screamed at him and kicked him. No one stopped him. That day Jeonghan left his family and stopped answering their messages.

Before Jeonghan knew it, his phone fell from his hand.

Pain shot through his back. A cold started creeping through his body. 

He felt his chest tightening. It was too tight. 

His hand shot to his chest grabbing into the fabric of his shirt. Why couldn’t he breathe? He opened his mouth desperate for air, but it wasn’t enough. It was like an invisible rope was wrapping itself around his throat, cutting off the air. He didn’t notice when he crashed to the floor. He didn’t notice when the door flew open and someone ran inside. He was shaking. Dizzy. He felt like throwing up. His vision blurred and he could feel like someone grabbing his shoulder shaking him, but he couldn’t understand what they were saying. He barely could rasp out Joushuas name. “I … I ne .. need Joshua”, he managed to say, through his closed throat. It was like another hit, when the voice started assaulting his brain. Calling him useless, a failure and a mistake. They wouldn’t stop.

Suddenly he felt arms wrap around him, cradling him softly. Stroking his hair softly. “It … ky. Yo .. safe.” He couldn’t make out, but the touch was grounding. He felt his hand grabbing a pair of arms which were hugging him. He felt how his senses sharpened again and the voices calmed down and got silent. “You are safe. Come back Hanni”, he heard Joshua's voice and the cold slowly disappeared, his chest loosens and gasps for breath, the pain in his chest and his back disappears. His vision finally cleared.

He found himself on the floor, being held close by Joshua’s who was cradling him gently in his arms, muttering sweet nothings into his ear. He felt completely drained and just let his forehead rest against Joshua’s shoulder. They stayed in this position for a few minutes or hours, Jeonghan couldn’t tell, he lost track of time, everything blurred together. When he finally managed to pull himself together, enough that he managed to pull himself away from Joshua’s embrace. He looked up and his eyes met the eyes of Lee Chan. He was expecting a lot of things, confusion or maybe even disgust. But instead, he saw curiosity, worry. And something softer beneath it - something that looked eerily familiar for Jeonghan.

He was stunned, before he could ask, Joshua explained. “He forgot something and when he returned he saw you collapsed and having a panic attack. You told him you needed me so he came searching for me.” Jeonghan just nodded, he felt embarrassed. He thought he had everything under control, that just some stupid messages managed to make him panic. He truly was pathetic, wasn’t he?

“Don’t even go there Hanni. I know what you are thinking. You aren’t pathetic”, Joshua said sternly, before standing up and helping Jeonghan up, while Chan was standing next to them, watching them quietly, curiosity and worry in his eyes. Joshua sat Jeonghan down on his chair and picked up Jeonghan’s phone. “That’s the last straw Hanni, if you won’t block your family. I will do it. They are clearly not good for you. You need a real break from them and not just physically. Complete distance, no talks, no calls, no messages. Radio silence and if you won’t block them I will do it”, with that Joshua started blocking Jeonghan’s family members one after another, while Jeonghan just helplessly stared at him, while Chan just looked at them with curiosity in his eyes, not understanding anything, about what was being said.

After blocking everyone, Joshua put the phone back into Jeonghans hand and picked up his bag. "Let's get going, Hanni”, he said, while helping Jeonghan up. As they turned their gaze landed on Chan, still standing there looking at Jeonghan with an unreadable expression. “I would appreciate it if you don’t mention this to anyone”, said Joshua, with a stern expression, before it softened. “Thank you for getting me.” Chan just nodded silently, before he turned around and started walking in the direction of the exit. Joshua and Jeonghan followed him towards the exit. 

When they stepped out, they were met with the sight of an older boy getting out of a sports car and shouting at Chan in a playful manner. Chan just had a blank look on his face, while walking over towards the car and getting in. Then the boy spotted Joshua and Jeonghan and a smirk crossed his face, he sent a wink towards them, before getting back into the car and driving away.

Joshua and Jeonghan looked at each other, with a puzzled expression.“What was that?”, asked Jeonghan. “I have no idea”, replied Joshua. What he didn’t notice was how Joshua's eyes followed the car before guiding Jeonghan towards his car. “Sit. I will drive.”

Jeonghan slid into the passenger seat, without a word. Too tired to argue with Joshua. He leaned his head against the window. Ignoring Joshua's worried glance. 

“What are you thinking about Hanni?” he asked, after pulling out of the school's parking lot. Jeonghan shrugged in return, not looking at him or answering. “When we get home, let's order take out and make movie night with the others. How does that sound?”Joshua asked, throwing a glance at Jeonghan who still stared out the window and just hummed agreeing with what Joshua said.

“Then movie night it is”, Joshua said cheerfully. “Do you want to call the others and tell them to start preparing and to order the food?” “Why not”, Jeonghan said and pulled out his phone and dialed Jihoons number. 

Chapter Text

As Jeonghan ended the call with Jihoon, he let his phone fall onto his lap. The quiet hum of the car engine and Joshua’s occasional hums to a song playing softly through the speakers filled the space between them.

“You okay?” Joshua asked again, not pushing him, just being there.

Jeonghan turned his head, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know. I think I’m just … I’m just tired of always pretending I am. You know … when I was still small I was happy. Always. My family cared about me. But then my parents' friends died and their daughter started living with us. Choi Yuna”, Jeonghan paused for a moment, his face fell and his eyes started to water, before he continued talking. 

“I tried getting along with her. I really did. But it was like everything I did made her resent me more. She blamed me for things I didn’t do and my parents and brothers just believed her, even if it was something completely ridiculous. 

I tried so hard. So hard to make them proud, but it never worked. I tried to be perfect, did everything they wanted, never complained”, Jeonghan thought about everything he sacrificed for Yunas happiness and had to sacrifice .” I always followed, but it didn’t do anything. They just resented me more and started treating me like I didn’t belong. Everyone, my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Everyone picked her over me. Even my own fianceé did. Am I this unlikeable, Shua?” 

Joshua didn’t answer right away. He just reached over and gently placed his hand over Jeonghan’s, grounding him, his eyes still staring at the road in front of them.

“You’re not unlikeable,” he said quietly. “You’ve just been around people who didn’t deserve you.”

Jeonghan let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. His eyes were glossy, lips trembling.

“I used to think I was the problem,” he whispered. “That if I just changed enough… if I just got quieter, nicer, less me, maybe they’d see me. That they would love me again. That they would care about me again.”

Joshua didn’t interrupt.

“I remember this one time,” Jeonghan said, eyes distant now, lost in memory. “Yuna broke my mom’s favorite vase. I was in my room - door closed, headphones on. She told them I did it, and they didn’t even ask. My mother slapped me across the face and told me I was jealous of Yuna. That I was trying to ruin her because I ‘couldn’t stand sharing their love with others’. That she should never have given birth to a selfish bastard like me. All while Yuna was standing there acting like she was deeply hurt, but still throwing taunting smirks at me.”

He paused, his voice dropping lower and tears started to roll down his cheeks. “I was eleven and this wasn’t the first and last time it happened.”

Joshua’s hand tightened slightly over Jeonghan’s, his expression darkening. “That’s not love, Jeonghan. That’s abuse. You were just a kid.”

“I know.” He wiped at his eyes roughly. “But when it happens again and again, you start believing it.”

He let out a shaky laugh, but there was no humor in it.
“My fiancée - Hyunwoo - he used to say he loved me for how ‘selfless’ I was, how I always would put myself down in favor of others. But whenever I tried to talk about how I was hurting, he’d tell me I was making it about myself. That I was being dramatic and selfish. That this wasn’t the person he fell in love with.

And when Yuna accused me of stealing from her?” The words were stuck in his throat, but he continued talking. “Hyunwoo believed her. He didn’t even ask me.”

He turned to Joshua, who could see the raw, exposed, vulnerability in the others' eyes. “I thought I was building a future with someone who saw me. But it was just the same story in a different body. Everyone always chooses her. No matter what I do.”

This time, a tear slipped down his cheek. He didn’t brush it away.

Joshua didn’t let go. “Then let them,” he said, voice steady and cold. “Let them choose her. Let them all choose her, Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan blinked.

“Because I’m choosing you. My parents chose you. As well as Wonwoo, Jihoon,Minghao, Seungkwan and our other friends. ”

Silence settled in the car like a warm blanket, heavy but safe.

And for the first time in a long time, Jeonghan let himself cry, not silently, not in secret. Just fully, painfully, openly. And Joshua stayed, hand never moving, humming softly through the sobs.

The car was quiet again. There was no tension hanging in the air now, no unspoken words, no suffocating silence. The only sound was the soft hum of the engine, Jeonghans quiet sobs and the occasional rustle of the wind outside as they drove down the empty road.

Joshua didn’t pull away. He didn’t speak much more, but the way his thumb brushed the back of Jeonghan’s hand, grounding him, telling him that he was still there, still holding him, despite the suffocating storm inside Jeonghan, was more than words could offer.

Jeonghan’s breathing had slowed, his sobs quieting to soft sniffles. His head had fallen onto the side of the seat, eyes closed, trying to pull himself together again. A heavy sense of exhaustion weighed on him, not just physically, but emotionally, as if every tear had washed something away, leaving him feeling hollow but lighter at the same time.

“Shua…” Jeonghan’s voice was a little strained, but it was still soft, vulnerable. He swallowed before continuing. “I’ve been holding all of this in for so long. You and your parents were one of the only people who know what happened, even if I never told you everything.

I didn’t even realize how much it hurt until now. I think… I think I forgot how to trust. How to let anyone in without wondering when they’d leave.”

Joshua, who pulled into the parking space of their apartment complex, turned his head, his gaze soft as he looked at Jeonghan. “You don’t have to do this alone anymore. I’m not going anywhere. I promise. Neither will the others, when you tell them.”

Jeonghan bit his lip, a lump forming in his throat again, but this time, it wasn’t from pain, it was something more gentle. He could feel the truth in Joshua’s words. Something he hadn’t felt in so long. Trust. A flicker of hope. A flicker he couldn’t help but chase. A flicker he couldn’t help but be drawn to, like a moth to a flame.

For the first time in years, Jeonghan didn’t feel the need to be perfect or to hold everything inside.

“Please Shua, don’t break your promise. Please don’t give me false hope”, Jeonghan said, silently pleading with Joshua, who gave him a determined look. “I won’t break this promise, Hanni. I’ll always protect you. Always.” He leaned over and pulled Jeonghan into a tight hug.

After a few minutes they let go of each other and Jeonghan felt lighter than he ever felt. 

Joshua caressed his cheek: “Let’s get upstairs, the others are certainly waiting for us. And if we don’t hurry then Seungkwan makes us watch Titanic.” Jeonghan couldn't help the laugh which broke out of him and leaned into Joshua's palm. 

“Thank you Shua”, he whispered, a small smile forming on his lips, before they got out of the car and walked towards their apartment. As soon as they opened the door, they were hit with the silent chaos of their home.

The shoes of Wonwoo, Jihoon, Minghao and Seungkwan were scattered at the door. They could hear them in the living room fighting over which movie to watch. As Joshua said Seungkwan wanted to watch Titanic, Minghao wanted to watch Better days, Wonwoo wanted to watch Fabricated City, while Jihoon wanted to watch a Thai movie The Paradise of Thorns,  where one of his favorite singers played the main lead. 

As soon as they entered, they turned around, trying to convince Joashua and Jeonghan to side with them for their movie choice.

“Let us arrive first, before you pounce on us like a bunch of vultures”, Joshua said laughing, before walking in his shared room followed by Jeonghan. While Joshua went for a shower, Jeonghan sat at his desk and staring at his phone, which lay in front of him, before pushing it away.

Joshua was right. He needed space.

He got up and went towards his closet and pulled out a jumper and a pair of sweatpants, before walking towards the bathroom, where Joshua stepped out of the shower.

Both Joshua and Jeonghan soon found themselves in the living room, cuddling together on the couch and watching the movie Better days. Minghao won fair and square, when they pulled his movie out of the hat.

During the movie Seungkwan, Joshua, Wonwoo and Minghao fell asleep, while Jihoon and Jeonghan watched it till the end before they fell asleep too.

And as Jeonghan drifted off to sleep, surrounded by the people who had chosen him, that flicker of hope glowed a little brighter. Not perfect. But real.

Chapter Text

The neon lights flashed around him. The cheers and shouts of the crowd were fusing themselves into a deafening roar, drowning out everything around him. The blood was roaring in his ears. Excitement shot through him as he dodged the punch from his opponent, before he shot a jab low into his opponent’s ribs, making him stumble back, with a grunt. 

Seungcheol didn’t give his opponent time to recover before he lunged at him and landed a solid punch into his opponent's stomach. He doubled over in pain, staggering slightly. His opponent barely had time to react before Seungcheol kicked him in the face with a brutal kick, sending him to the ground, unconscious.

The crowd went wild as they announced the end of the fight. Seungcheol walked out of the cage, still high on the adrenaline and the excitement of the fight, leaving him slightly floaty.

Shaking his head to get rid of the floaty feeling, he hurriedly disappeared into the changing room, instructing the bodyguards not to disturb him and to not let anyone enter, before slamming the door shut.

The high started to fade and he nearly crashed to the floor, while he tried to reach the bench where his bag was. With the high gone, that brought numbness, the sharp, pulsing aches of the wounds inflicted on him spread through his body like fire. His legs were trembling, with each step, blinding pain shot through him and with each move he felt an ache crawl up his side, remembering the blows his opponent gave him.

When he finally sat down he let out a sigh of relief. He looked down at his aching hand, fists were raw and his knuckles were bloodied and the skin was broken, just like how he had felt for the past eleven years.

He let his head fall, gripping his hair and pulling at it, trying to ground himself. The pain was sharp and burning, but it grounded him enough to calm down and take some breaths. 

It was calming in a way. Each tug grounded him into the present. Grounding him into his bruised and broken body.

He wanted to continue, when suddenly the sharp ringing of his phone shattered the silence and 

startling him out of the pain, making him flinch and letting go of his hair. He only hesitated for a moment, before he scrambled towards his bag and pulled out his phone, accepting the call. He barely had the time to brace himself, before Seokmin’s furious voice filled his ears.

“Where are you Hyung and why the fuck didn’t you pick up any of our calls? We tried to reach you for hours, but you never answered fucking once? Do you even know that Chan got called into the principal's office again? Again for school violence? And no one can reach you for hours?”

Under the incoming storm of Seokmin’s words, Seungcheol felt himself shaking and shrinking into himself.

“I’m sorry Min - a. I just got caught up a bit”, Seungcheol started, but before he could continue, he was interrupted by Seokmin, whose voice now laced with worry. “ Hyung, what the hell happened? Why do you sound disoriented?” 

“It’s fine Min - a, I’m fine, just a bit tired.” 

“Hyung, where are you? If you don’t tell me right now where the fuck you are, I will have Ye Rin track you down and if she has to do it, you will not like what will happen afterwards.”

Seungcheol let out a long sigh, knowing that arguing didn’t matter with Seokmin, once he set his mind on something, it was as good as impossible to stop him from going through with it. “I’m at Phoenix Lounge”, he whispered, his voice was hoarse, barely audible, but Seokmin heard it and cursed silently under his breath.

“Don’t move, we will be there in 15 minutes”, before hanging up, his hands sank into his lap. Shaking and hurting.

He leaned back against the locker, letting his head lean against the cold metal, closing his eyes. 

It could have been just 15 minutes just as Seokmin promised or five hours. Seungcheol didn’t know, he lost all sense of time, as the door flew open, making him flinch, as his eyes shot open and he tensed up.

Jun and Seokmin entered the room and immediately hurried towards his side.

Jun knelt down and grabbed Seungcheol’s chin between his fingers, gazing at him with calculating eyes, as he inspected Seungcheol’s face, turning it from the left towards the right. Seungcheol just let it happen, his gaze landed on Seokmin, who just looked at him with an empty expression.

Seungcheol batted away Jun's hand, avoiding their eyes. “My face is fine, you don’t have to examine it.” Before he was suddenly slammed and pinned against the locker.

“You would deserve a few bruises in your face. You disappeared for hours, no call, no text, nothing. Who knows what could have happened to you. You could have been lying in a ditch somewhere, for all we know?” Seokmin growled furiously, fire burning in his eyes, Seungcheol couldn't bring himself to look into Seokmin’s eyes. “Do you even care what would happen to us without you or with Chan, once you are gone?” Seokmin’s voice cracked at the end and his grip loosened, before he pulled Seungcheol into a hug, burying his head into his shoulder, crying softly. 

“Like when we were younger.” , the thought shot through Seungcheol’s mind, as he copied Seokmin and pulled him closer, soothing him softly, looking up towards Jun, who backed away, looking at them with empty eyes and a cold expression.

“You know that we always got your back no matter what?”, Jun finally said. Even though Jun’s voice sounded empty and cold, Seungcheol felt warmth spread through him. Still holding Seokmin tightly, he extended his arm and pulled Jun into his embrace. Jun went willingly, showing only a bit of resistance.

“I know Jun, I know and I’m thankful”, he said. He released Jun from the hug, his hand resting on his shoulder. Looking at him, he tried to show Jun that he meant what he said. 

Jun’s eyes scanned Seungcheol’s face like he was reading a manual. Not out of concern, but out of curiosity. Like he was observing how far a machine could break before it stopped working. 

This was how Jun was, he didn’t show his emotions, but he tried his best to be there for every single one of them, even though he had his own ways of showing his support.

“You don’t seem to really show it though, Hyung”, Jun said, with a raised eyebrow, “If you trusted us, you would talk to us and open up more, but you don’t. You don’t want to burden us and because of that you bottle everything up and when it gets too much you break down and when confronted you change the topic.”

He wanted to defend himself, to deny what Jun said, but deep in his heart he knew that Jun spoke the truth. Jun would never lie. He was painfully honest.

He avoided Jun’s piercing gaze and looked away. The locker room fell into silence, the only sound were Seokmin’s silent sobs.

“Let’s just go home”, he said weakly, looking at Jun pleadingly to drop the topic, Jun just raised his eyebrow as if he wanted to prove his point, before turning around and walking out of the locker room. He let out a sigh, before grabbing Seokmin at his shoulders and softly pulling him away.

“Let’s go home, hmm? We can stop at a convenience store and buy you your favorite ice cream, okay?”, he said softly, wiping away Seokmin’s tears. “Nah, stop crying Min-a. Everything will be fine. I promise you.”

“You always say that, Hyung, but when will you start keeping that promise for more then two weeks?”, before turning around, following Jun to the car, leaving Seungcheol standing in the locker room.

Seungcheol felt a wave of coldness wash over him and for the first time in a long time he felt small and vulnerable.

Chapter Text

Seungcheol stood frozen in the locker room, staring at the door where Seokmin disappeared. He didn’t know how long he was standing there staring before he snapped out of his daze and walked out of the locker room.

As he reached the car, he was still deep in thoughts, replaying what just happened again and again. Deep down he knew that Jun and Seokmin were right. His inability to show trust was evident; every time something went wrong, he promised that everything would be fine, but it never turned out that way.

He shook the thoughts away and slipped into the passenger seat. As he fastened the seatbelt, he turned to Jun: “Stop at one of the stores.” “No need, Hyung, let’s just go home. We still have to talk, you know. About Chan-ah,” Seokmin replied nonchalantly.

“What happened?” Seungcheol asked, not turning around, just staring out the window.

“He got into a fight again. Which you would know if you would answer your damn phone. Anyway, you have a meeting with the principal and the school counselor. They talk about mandatory counseling sessions or expulsion. They said that they can’t allow such violent behavior, and if it won’t get better, you can search for a new school,” Seokmin replied, an edge to his voice. Seungcheol could hear the anger in his voice. 

He knew why. 

“What day, what time?” he replied, ignoring the anger in Seokmin’s voice. 

“Next Monday, 3 pm, principal’s office. I sent the details to your assistant,” Seokmin replied scornfully. 

Seungcheol didn’t answer. The air in the car felt heavier with every passing second. Seungcheol leaned back into his seat, running a hand over his face. His temples throbbed, but it wasn’t just from exhaustion; it was from the gnawing guilt that had been building for years.

Jun stayed silent. His gaze fixed on the, occasionally he looked back at Seokmin through the rearview mirror and from the corner of his eyes he glanced at Seungcheol. He didn’t say anything. He wouldn’t say anything, at least not yet.

The car turned onto the mainroad, Jun carefully maneuvered through the traffic, before he turned and drove into the underground parking lot of Choi Industries.

As the car stopped Seungcheol stared at the grey concrete wall, wondering how much longer they could keep going like this before everything fell apart completely. Even though they stood still no one made a move to get out. They continued sitting in silence.

Finally, Jun spoke, breaking the silence, his voice lower now and empty as always. “You should talk to him tonight. Not as his guardian. Just… as you.”

Seungcheol swallowed hard and nodded once, his fingers tightening around the seatbelt buckle before letting it go.

The elevator ride was silent, as was the penthouse, when they arrived. 

Seokmin and Jun immediately disappeared, Seungcheol remained in the hallway, drowning in the silence. Normally it was loud. They would laugh at Mingyu’s stupid jokes or would scream while they played video games, with Soonyoung losing to Vernon.

His gaze wandered along the dark penthouse before he forced his body to move. He moved up the stairs alone, the wooden steps creaking slightly beneath his weight. Each step felt heavier than the last, a gravity that had nothing to do with physics.

He found himself in front of Chan’s room. He paused outside, listening. There was no sound from within, only the thin strip of light under the door, a steady, unwavering line, showed that Chan was still awake. He took a deep breath and knocked softly.

“Chan-ah, it’s me.”

The silence stretched, and then came the faint scrape of something being shoved across the floor. The door cracked open just enough for him to slip inside.

As he stepped in Chan sat back down at his desk, hunched over a notebook. His pencil tapped lightly against the page, rhythm deliberate, almost mechanical. He didn’t look up.

“You heard about Monday,” Seungcheol said, keeping his voice neutral, careful.

“Yeah.” Chan turned the page without reading it. His tone was flat, but the way his shoulders tensed told another story, a story Seungcheol had learned to read long ago. This was the same routine as always after Chan got into a fight.

“You got into a fight,” Seungcheol said, as he walked over towards Chan’s side.

Chan’s pencil froze and he flinched slightly. “He started it.”

The response was automatic, rehearsed almost. Seungcheol expected it, but the words didn’t make it easier to digest. He studied Chan’s face - calm, too calm, like a mask held over something he didn’t want revealed. Seungcheols gaze landed on Chans knuckles, his stomached churned, as he saw the bruises and cuts.

“You can’t just …” Seungcheol began, but stopped. Words of disappointment felt hollow, too hypocritical to mean anything. He tried again. “If something happens, you tell someone. You don’t handle it yourself.”

Chan’s pencil tapped again, faster this time, tracing lines that weren’t on the page. A smudge of graphite stained his hand. “Like you do?” His voice was flat, almost daring.

Seungcheol’s throat tightened and he flinched, but he didn’t answer. The room pressed in on him, silent except for the erratic pencil taps. Chan wasn’t crying, wasn’t lashing out. But there was a quiet intensity in his posture, in the way his eyes didn’t meet his. 

It always went like this. Everytime Chan had a fight and Seungcheol confronted him about it.

“I’m not going to argue with you,” Seungcheol said finally. “We’ll talk to the principal on Monday. Just… be ready to listen and stay out of fights.”

Chan nodded, still focused on the notebook, not looking up once. The pencil was still tapping against the notebook, snapped clean through the page at one point, he didn’t react. He picked up another pencil and continued writing. 

Seungcheol looked down at Chan a moment longer, before he walked over towards a drawer and pulled out a first aid kit, before walking back towards Chans desk. 

Chan flinched slightly as Seungcheol opened the antiseptic bottle. “I can do it,” he muttered, voice flat, not looking at him.

“You don’t have to,” Seungcheol said, tone even. “Let me do it. I’ll be quick.”

He cleaned the wounds carefully, the antiseptic sting sharp against the skin. Chan’s hands twitched, but he didn’t pull away. When Seungcheol wrapped the gauze around a cut on his knuckle, Chan’s eyes flicked up briefly, calm but assessing, searching for emotions in Seungcheols gaze. Searching what Seungcheol might truly think.

“Better?” Seungcheol asked quietly, fastening the last bandage.

Chan gave a noncommittal hum. “Yeah.”

Seungcheol put the kit back into the drawer, before walking towards the door. As he stood there, he looked back. “ Don’t stay up much longer, even though it’s the weekend. Good Night.” Chan didn’t answer, he just let out a low hum, before continuing tapping his pencil on his notebook.

He walked out and closed the door. As he started walking towards his own room he turned back once more and muttered: “ Good Night Dino-ah”, using a nickname he had used when Chan first arrived at the penthouse.

As he reached his room, he turned on his computer. He opened a folder and a dangerous smirk crossed his lips.

“Soon we will finally meet Angel.”