Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Lo’ak opened his eyes.

He stared at the ceiling for awhile and then spared a glance at his window which had the moonlight peeping through the curtains. His throat felt so dry....it was almost painful. He sighed deeply, rubbing his hands over his face before sitting up.

The house was quiet, something which rarely happened ever since the fights between him and Jake had become more frequent at home. Lo’ak often found it difficult to sleep at times. He sighed and glanced toward his door.

“I need water” he muttered to himself, kicking off the blankets and dragging himself to the hallway.

As he walked toward the kitchen, his bare feet barely making any noise on the cold floor, something made him freeze. There, in the shadows of the living room, was a small figure curled up on the sofa.

Lo’ak’s heart jumped into his throat. “What the-?” he whispered, backing up a step, instinctively preparing for a fight. Then he squinted, his brain catching up with his nerves.

"Tuk?" he whispered angrily "What the hell are you doing here? You trying to scare me to death?"

Tuk didn’t move. She sat there, huddled on the sofa in her hello kitty pj's, eyes overfilled with tears.

Lo’ak’s annoyance quickly turned to confusion. "Tuk?" he said again, softer this time, stepping closer. "What are you doing? It’s the middle of the night."

At first, Tuk didn’t respond, just sniffled quietly. Lo’ak could see her shoulders trembling, and his heart sank. He hated it when his siblings cried, especially Tuk.

His hands were hovering in the air uselessly. Stupid, your sister's crying. Comfort her!

"Tuk... Why are you crying?" His voice came out awkward and stiff, betraying his discomfort.

Tuk wiped her nose with the sleeve of her oversized pajamas, still not looking at him. "Are you leaving?" she asked, her voice small and broken.

Lo’ak blinked, taken aback. “What? What are you talking about? I’m not going anywhere.”

Her tiny voice shook as she continued, "I—I keep hearing you and daddy fighting. I thought… I thought you might leave the house at night. So, I’ve been keeping watch… to make sure you don’t."

Lo’ak felt like he’d been punched in the gut. He had no idea Tuk had been doing this. He ran a hand through his messy hair, groaning softly. “Tuk… you shouldn’t be doing this. I’m not going anywhere.”

“But you’re always so mad,” she whispered, hugging her knees to her chest. “And when you and daddy yell… it’s so scary, Lo’ak. I don’t want you to go!"

Lo’ak’s stomach twisted uncomfortably. He hated that she had to see him at his worst, but there wasn’t much he could do. The house had become a battlefield lately. “Tuk, listen. I’m not going to leave. I promise. You’re stuck with me.”

Tuk didn’t look convinced, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks as she buried her face in her knees.

Lo’ak rubbed the back of his neck. Comforting people was Neteyam’s thing, not his. He sucked at this. Still, seeing Tuk like this was breaking something inside him. “C’mon, Jewel,” he said softly, using the nickname he reserved only for private moments. “You really think I’d leave you like that?”

Tuk peeked up at him through her tears. "But… we haven’t even talked that much lately. And you don’t play with me anymore. You’re always mad or busy."

Lo’ak winced. She wasn’t wrong.

Between school, the fights, and his own internal battles, he hadn’t been spending as much time with her. Guilt gnawed at him, and he felt a weight on his chest. “I know I’ve been… distracted,” He admitted quietly. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you, Tuk. You’re my little brat, remember? No way I’m leaving you behind.”

Tuk sniffled again, her tears slowing, though her face remained buried in her knees. “Promise?” she whispered, raising her pinky finger.

Lo’ak knelt beside the sofa and wrapped his pinky around hers "I promise," he said, his voice firmer this time. "And I'll start playing with you more. I’ll even—" He groaned, already regretting his next words. "I’ll even let you use makeup on my face"

Tuk finally lifted her head, eyes shining. “Really?!” she asked, a tiny smile starting to creep across her tear-streaked face.

Lo’ak sighed, ruffling her hair. “Yeah, really. Just don’t make me look like a clown, alright?”

Tuk giggled softly, wiping her eyes. “Okay. You’re the best, Lo’ak.”

He smirked, feeling a little more at ease now that she wasn’t crying anymore. “Yeah, yeah. Now c’mon, it’s way past your bedtime.”

He stood and offered her his hand, but Tuk didn’t take it right away. Instead, she looked up at him with big, pleading eyes. “Can I sleep in your room tonight?”

Lo’ak hesitated. He hated sharing his bed but looking down at Tuk’s puffy eyes, there was no way he could say no. “Alright, alright,” He grumbled. “But just this once.”

Tuk’s face lit up as she jumped off the sofa and grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly as they walked back to his room together.

Once they got to his room, Tuk immediately climbed into his bed, snuggling into his pillow. Lo’ak sighed, lying down beside her, feeling her small body curl up next to him. She rested her head on his chest, her breathing slowly evening out.

Lo’ak stared up at the ceiling, feeling Tuk’s warmth next to him. He didn’t like being so close like this—it felt suffocating sometimes. But for Tuk, he’d make an exception. He wrapped an arm around her, gently pulling her closer. As much as he hated cuddling, he’d do anything to keep her safe. 

And for the first time in a long while, the house felt a little less heavy.

Chapter Text

Tuk was in her room reading a text that her friend sent about ghosts. She never believed in ghosts because her mommy and daddy told her that ghosts aren't real and that’s all she needed to know. 

As she continued reading, her brother Lo’ak’ entered the room. “Tuk, it’s time for you to go to bed” He approached her and saw what she was reading “why’re you reading about ghosts?” she sighed and said, smiling “My friend’s tryna convince that ghosts are real but they aren’t”.

“Yes, they are”.

Tuk turned to her brother with a look on her face “Not you too!” He looked at her with that same look.

“They're real”

“You can’t convince me that they are!”

He smirked “Oh, but I can”

He sat on the edge of the bed and said “You know my friend, Peter?” She nodded “He didn’t have glasses before,” He got up and walked towards the window “but after he went near the abandoned building. He got them” With that he closed the curtains and walked towards the light switch. “Ao’nung left me there in the afternoon but Peter went there at night so he could sneak out”. 

Tuk watched him with a disbelieving grin as he looked at her “Once he stepped inside that building” The light switched off and since Lo’ak had closed the door and curtains, it was even more dark. Tuk’s grin disappeared in a flash

“Dark.” She heard his voice, it sounded so soft and dreamy…too dreamy for it to be her brother. 

“He looked around the place but stopped when he heard noises”

Suddenly she heard something clash with something, she hugged her body close and wrapped herself with her bedsheet.

“He continued walking and he was so sure that something touched him behind”

Tuk felt something touch her shoulder, she whipped her head only to see darkness “Lo’ak? Was that you?” But to her shock, she heard her brother’s voice in front of her “No, I’m in front of you”. 

Silence for a second. 

“Anyway, he walked faster and then…if you were really quiet, you could hear a scream”

Tuk jumped at the sound of a woman’s scream, she started breathing quickly in fright as she hugged her body closer. 

“And then…” He paused, Tuk waited apprehensively

“Light”

She saw a small circle of light shine in front of her “He walked towards it, thinking it was the exit but it wasn’t” She heard footsteps...

“Then BOOM!”

Tuk shrieked “That light almost made him go blind! If you were in his place, the only thing you wanna do to survive is run” She heard his voice go low “But he couldn’t. Not after he saw something that almost ripped his face off!” At that moment, she felt him grab her cheeks “Finally he got the brain cells to actually get up and run”.

Tuk hoped this was where the story ended because she couldn’t take anymore.

 “So he ran and ran and ran and ran” She heard the light switch click and the bedroom lit up “All the way to his home”. Lo’ak was standing near her door, hand near the light switch as he gave her a small smile. 

Tuk didn’t understand how he couldn’t feel the tension that she was feeling.

“Well,” he started as he came closer to her, putting a hand on her head to ruffle her hair “Sleep tight!” He smiled and left her room as if he didn’t just tell a life-threatening story. 

She covered herself and went to sleep, trying to shake off the scary sounds she heard. But everything she heard, every squeak and howl in the wind made her stare at the ceiling wide awake, not daring to move at all.  She couldn’t sleep at all

The next morning, Tuk went down the stairs to eat breakfast with a grouchy look on her face. She saw that her whole family (other than Jake because  he has to go to work) was already there.

“Tuk, you seem grouchy” said Neytiri as she looked at her daughter “I couldn’t sleep last night” She shot an annoyed look at Lo’ak who was trying to hide his smirk “Why?” asked Neteyam, he looked at his sister “Because Lo’ak told me a story” She gave him a bitter smile “Oh, god. Was it about him and his love problems?” asked Kiri with a bored look on her face.

“Hey!”

“No! It was a scary story about his friend going to the abandoned building!” Everyone looked at the boy who stared at his sister “Tuk,” He started, smile gone “You realize I made everything up, right?” Tuk stared at him dumbfounded for a moment before throwing a fork at him

“Tuk!”

“Tuktirey!”

She got up and walked over to him then gave him the hardest slap she could ever muster on his back “AH! Tuk!” he clapped his shoulder “You’re-so-stupid! You-idiot!” with every hit, she spat out words.

Neteyam and Kiri pulled Tuk away from Lo’ak who was suffering from pain aching all over his back. Neytiri glared at her son as she told him off for scaring his little sister like that. 

After eating, Tuk pulled Lo’ak to her room by the arm and forced him to sit down.

“Why’d you bring me here?” He asked, apprehensive of what she was going to do “I’m going to ask you questions and you better answer them!” She said bitterly, she folded her arms and stood in front of him.

“First, The whole entire story was made up?” Lo’ak nodded “Peter’s too much of a goody good to disobey his parents and sneak out” She gave a curt nod and then pointed a finger at him “What were the clashing noises?" Her brother smiled a bit before going over to her study table and twirling his fingers in Tuk's very stuffed pen holder, making the same clashing noises that Tuk heard. 

"See?" He started "It's just your stupid unicorn pens" Tuk grabbed his hand and made him sit down "First; Never insult my unicorns" She bent down and cupped her hand near his ear "They're really sensitive" Lo'ak rolled his eyes "And secondly; What about the thing that touched me?" 

"what?" 

"Something touched me from behind and when I asked you whether it was you, you said "No, I'm right in front of you"" He chuckled "Tuk, I have long arms. I can literally do this-" He stretched his arm and touched behind her shoulder "And still be in front of you so I lied" Her eyes squinted. So far everything that was scary actually became...not scary.

"Ok, then...what about the woman's scream?" Lo'ak stared at her before bursting out with laughter "What's so funny?" Asked Tuk in an annoyed tone. That scream still haunted her. "Tuk, that was not a woman's scream!" He said between laughter "It wasn't?" Her brother shook his head, still laughing "Tuk, that was Rotxo!" 

Huh? That was Rotxo?

"I recorded him screaming one day when a pack of seagulls attacked when he was eating ice cream" He wiped his tears of laughter and took a deep breath, smiling "Well, let me him know he screams like a woman" Tuk said confidently but she couldn't deny, now the scream seemed funny. "Ok, ok" said Lo'ak, sighing deeply, he was still smiling.

"Ok, last question; What was the light thingy?" Lo'ak showed the back of his phone and switched on the flashlight "Tuk, it was all a story. Nothing's gonna hurt you" She sighed and went up to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her head on his shoulder. She moved so that she could sit in his lap. Lo'ak rolled his eyes playfully and rested his head on hers, just for the sake of it.

"Alright, alright. Are you done with the hugs?" No answer. 

"Tuk?" Lo'ak asked, he looked at his sister only to see that she was fast asleep. "Damn," He started "I didn't think you wouldn't sleep all night!" He stood up, lifting his sister and placing her in her bed comfortably. 

"I'm sorry, Jewel" He said as he walked towards the door, glancing at Tuk. He opened the door but heard something.

"What about the unicorns?" Lo'ak scowled "Shut up, Tuk!".

He closed the door and Tuk felt a smile growing on her face as she slept. 

There was nothing to be afraid of after all.

Chapter Text

It was late afternoon. 

The sun was shining in Awa'tlu, leaving golden streaks across the ocean as waves rushed onto the shore. Ao'nung could hear chattering from one end to the next as he passed by a few of the marui on the bouncy walkway. 

He lightly jumped onto the sand and walked along the grains, trying to fill that aching gap in his chest. 

Ever since that dreadful incident with those sky-demons where Neteyam had... passed , Ao'nung had tried busying himself with training to the point where his own mother had forced him to get some fresh air and behave like his age. 

He brushed past a few giant leaves with his finned hand and noticed Tuk, Kiri and Tsireya laughing as they gathered seashells. Tuk screamed as Tsireya splashed water onto her, Kiri was shaking her head. Suddenly Tsireya and Tuk pushed Kiri into the water and started having a water fight, completely forgetting about the seashells. 

Oh, if only he could do that. 

Nashvi, Koro and Ongu had started to be a little distant with Ao'nung. Everytime he tried to hang out with them, one of them would come up with an excuse. 

"Sorry, Ao'nung. My father is calling me to hunt with him"

"Can't do it today. I have some left over chores to do"

"I am not free. Maybe some other time..."

Ao'nung wasn't dumb, of course. He knew what those looks meant and though it hurt him that his best friends ever since the cycles of 6, they had formed bond like with the Tulkun. It didn't help that they also had an argument about how Ao'nung was hanging out with the Sully's. 

"Those vrrtep do not belong here, Ao'nung! Yet you gallop with them like they are Tulkun!" 

"They aren't vrrtep, Koro. Maybe we just have not been excepting them as they are!"

"But you were the one who said they were—"

"Then I was wrong!"

Ao'nung sighed softly and walked past the girls, ignoring the sounds of laughter.

He wanted to talk to someone, but Rotxo was with his grandmother to do some chores. If Neteyam was alive, they would have tried to at least not kill each other and talk about their siblings (Well, Neteyam would. Ao'nung would just nod and try not to stare at him as he rambled on and on). 

 The only person who was free was Lo’ak…

And Lo’ak had vanished.

He didn’t tell anyone, but he'd noticed Lo’ak more than he should after the his —Ahem!— leaving-Lo'ak-outside-the-reef sunt. He noticed how he always pushed himself as if there were always eyes watching him. He noticed how with every comment and teasing made by the others, his ears would droop much like his thin tail. He noticed how he treated Tsireya… like she was something precious.

Though it warmed his heart that someone else cared about his sister other than him, he couldn't let go. To him, Tsireya was still that three cycled girl who picked up seashells thinking it would lead her to her one and only. She hadn't met anyone then but now all those seashell picking that he done with her faded into the distance whenever she was near Lo'ak.

Which was exactly why Ao’nung had always told himself, He's not good enough for her.

But deep down, that wasn’t the full truth. Lo’ak reminded Ao’nung of himself, if Ao’nung had grown up just a little more lost. 

To his dismay, he and Lo'ak had more similarities than anyone else. Maybe that was why they went off a rocky start. 

With a deep sigh, he made up his mind and decided to hang out with...Lo'ak. 

He dragged his feet against the sand, trying to spot for the Omaticaya but he couldn't spot him anywhere. Ao'nung made his way to the Sully marui and saw Neytiri cutting up some yovo. 

"Uh...Tsakarem?" Ao'nung called, uncertain of what to call her. 

Neytiri looked up. Ao'nung winced at the sight of her face; Sunken, dull amber eyes, frail structure. It looked like her life was hanging on a thread. Ao'nung could see the grief in her eyes, just like his mother who had barely anytime to mourn over Ro'a.

She huffed, "You don't have to call me that. You can address me as Neytiri" He nodded and swallowed, feeling a little awkward.

"Ok, Neytiri, uh...Do you know where Lo'ak is?" She shook her head and gestured outside "The last I saw of him was outside near the others. Why is he not with them?" He could hear worry enter her voice.

"Well, no" Ao'nung said, watching Neytiri's eyes widen "But I'm sure he's fine...I'll just go look for him" He added quickly. He strode out of the marui and let a deep breath out. 

At this point, looking for Lo'ak should have required a number of hunters to search the entire island of Awa'tlu. It was as though he didn't even exist. He was about to give up when his ears picked up a sound.

Quiet sniffles.

Ao'nung crouched and followed the sounds, his ears going higher and higher by with every step. He found himself on the edge of Awa'tlu staring at the figure facing the waves. As he approached closer, Ao'nung could tell by the tail that it was another Omaticaya.

Lo'ak. 

He straightened up and stared at Lo'ak. The younger didn't see him; his body was curled into himself, forehead resting on his knees. His tail moved slowly, curling towards him as his shoulders shook with silent sobs.

Ao'nung felt something rise in his chest. His breath caughter.

Lo'ak was...crying.

For a long moment, Ao’nung didn’t know what to do. He froze behind a tree, watching.

Lo'ak wasn't one to cry. He fought. He yelled. He did stupid things. He drove everyone crazy. But he never cried.

Ao'nung quietly moved closer towards him and sat down next to him with a sound —Half grunt, half cough— annoucning his presence before he could regret everything. He knew that Lo'ak had an idea that someone was next to him by the movement of his ears rising up. Ao'nung stared at the setting sun, only to turn back and see a pair of watery amber eyes looking at him. 

Silence fell between them, but it wasn't the comfortable type. 

Lo'ak slowly sat up straight and wiped his face. "What do you want?" He muttered, voice cracking. 

Ao'nung let out a sharp breath. "You forgot to be annoying today. Thought you might have died.”

Lo’ak gave a humorless snort. “Too bad I didn’t, huh?”

That hit Ao’nung like a gut punch.

“…Don’t joke like that,” he said after a pause. “It isn't funny.”

Lo'ak didn’t respond.

Minutes passed again with that uncomfortable silence.

Then, softly, Ao’nung asked, “Are you going speak or should I assumed it's a one-sided conversation?” Lo'ak quickly averted his eyes to the ground, his two stray braids blocking his eyes. 

"What happened? Why are you so...?" His words trailed off as Ao'nung struggled to find the word. The younger sighed and spoke, his eyes still fixed on the floor. "...I messed up big time," His voice was hoarse. 

"I killed Neteyam," Ao'nung stared at him. Of all the tings he was waiting to hear, this was not one of them. "You killed...? But—".

"I made him go back for Spider, the tawtute, and he got shot by a guy. I should've left it, I should've gone with him" His voice was more shaky now, new tears rolled down Lo'ak's cheeks as he continued "And then I had watch him die with a fucking bullet shot in his heart, I felt his heartbeat stop, Ao'nung! And it's all my fault!" Ao'nung's eyes are wide as Lo'ak is unable to speak anymore and sobs harder. 

He lifted his hand and hesitantly hovered it near Lo'ak's back. A few seconds of contemplating, he rested his palm and rubbed the younger's back, just as he did to Tsireya when she was little. 

Under all the sobbing, Ao'nung heard a quiet mumbling, "It should've been me. I'm nothing compared to Neteyam".

Ao’nung’s voice was quieter than it had ever been. “You’re not nothing.”

Lo’ak blinked, caught off-guard as he raised his head from his knees. “…What?” 

Ao’nung exhaled sharply, looking away. “You’re a skxawng. You do stupid things. You talk too much. You have no idea when to shut up. So there is that”

Lo’ak stared at him like he’d grown a third eye, Ao'nung continued "You're the fastest swimmer out of all your siblings. You bonded with a Tulkun, though he's sort of an outcast and—Do not interrupt me, Lo'ak!" He added sharply as he noticed Lo'ak opening to mouth to argue about Payakan. "Anyway, you make my sister happy—"

"She has a number of things to make her happy"

"But with you, she's the happiest," Ao'nung said, he nudged Lo'ak by the waist with his elbow, making the other hiss out of annoyance. "So you’re not… nothing."

Lo'ak scoffed, “Who are you and what have you done with the real Ao’nung?”

Ao’nung scowled but didn’t move. “Shut up. You cry like an ilu, by the way.”

“…Thanks, man,” Lo’ak said sarcastically, sniffing.

They sat in silence again. This time it wasn't uncomfortable.

And then—

“You know,” Ao’nung said slowly, “I used to wish I had a younger brother.”

Lo’ak raised an eyebrow. Ao'nung glanced at it —how could anyone grow hair there? It was just crazy!— before going back to the setting sun.

“Though he's younger, Rotxo’s more like a twin,” Ao’nung continued. “He doesn’t look up to me. He scolds me like a grandma, probably because he lives with one" Lo'ak gave a small smile, looking at the floor once more.  The next thing that Ao'nung was going to say made him a little hesitant but nevertheless, he started.

"And Neteyam—he was the exact person everyone wanted to be”

Lo’ak’s voice was quiet. “Probably because he was perfect.”

“No one is,” Ao’nung replied. “But I guess what I’m saying is… I didn’t want a younger brother.”

He glanced sideways, tilting his head at Lo'ak

“And I guess I got one anyway.”

Lo’ak blinked. “Wait. Are you saying—”

“Don’t say it,” Ao’nung cut in. “Don't make it weird, and get your tail away from me!” He snapped, feeling Lo'ak's tail thump against his back and the ground.

“Too late,” Lo’ak said, managing a small laugh.

“Tell anyone I said this,” Ao’nung warned, “and I will personally launch you off beyond the reef again.”

“…Even Tsireya?”

Ao’nung gave him a death glare. “Especially Tsireya.”

Lo’ak wiped the last of his tears and leaned back, looking up at the clouds.

“I wish I was good enough for her.”

Ao’nung didn’t answer at first.

He wanted to give a good answer. He remembered the first time that Lo'ak had come to Awa'tlu. One simple "Hi" from Lo'ak had Tsireya tuck her chin to her chest. Then later, he noticed how the two looked at each other—It was the same look that his parents gave each other, like they were the most special people in the whole of Eywa— and how they both would quickly turn away if one of them was watching. He noticed how Lo'ak had rode on the same ilu with Tsireya when they were meeting the Tulkun. 

So with all this, he realized why he even made problems with him in the first place, it was because—

“You already are.”