Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

There were so many ways this could have been less terrible, and everything about it was his fault.

To begin with, he should have been more concerned by the apparent interest Ra’s had taken in Tim. Any interest from him was bad news, of course, and he would have much preferred not to have any of his children deal with the League, including and especially Damian. However, it seemed Ra’s had his eyes on Tim for purposes far more nefarious than the usual obsession a villain would have with a particularly troublesome vigilante, and Bruce had not even been aware.

He could have excused that one, given that Tim had not approached him with his concerns, though that only showed another failing by Bruce as his son didn’t feel like he could come to him with things like this. However, he had no such defense for all the other ways he had failed. It was his fault that Tim had gone off on his own without backup, and he certainly couldn’t blame anyone else for the fact that this was a common enough occurrence nobody had found it alarming. He should have been more concerned when Tim didn’t check in rather than simply dismissing it as another one of his disappearances — and how horrible was he as both a father and a leader that he had come to expect Tim to go missing?

Really, it was a wonder Superboy hadn’t decided to simply punch Bruce in the face with all his Kryptonian strength when he came to Gotham to find Tim and Bruce had no information to offer. He certainly wouldn’t have blamed him.

Kon had come to him, concerned because he hadn’t heard from Tim in several weeks and now couldn’t find his heartbeat, and Bruce hadn’t been able to give him any answers, hadn’t even known there was cause for concern. He would have deserved any amount of anger directed at him, for failing his son and not even realizing he had done so.

He had thrown himself into action then, mobilizing all the resources at his disposal, but he couldn’t help but fear it was too little, too late. He was haunted by images of what could have happened, of another son stolen from him, alone and in pain and calling for help that wouldn’t come. How long would it have taken him to wonder what had happened, why Tim hadn’t come home? Before any of them thought to question why they were one bird short?

The fact that he couldn’t say was more terrifying than any number of horrific images his mind could conjure up.

Bruce had already failed his son, in far too many ways.

He was not going to fail him again.

***

The atmosphere in the Batplane was tense, more so than usual with the number of people hiding within. Red Hood had commandeered the controls, a tense Batman barely holding himself back from cutting in and settling for hovering about the cockpit instead. Impulse looked so on the edge he might just vibrate his way right through the plane any moment now, barely constrained by Wonder Girl and Superboy on either side of him. Black Bat and Batgirl were sitting along the opposite wall, Cass’s eerie calm contrasting with Stephanie’s constant checking of her equipment. Kid Flash had his arms folded, drumming his fingers against his biceps in a nervous rhythm, while a broody Arsenal was glaring holes into the floor. Dick suspected the only reason Superman wasn’t there with them was because Bruce wanted to keep him as a surprise backup, seeing how he could arrive at a moment’s notice even to the ass-end of nowhere they were about to get to.

For any other mission short of the imminent end of the world, this kind of a team would probably have been overkill. As they approached the League compound, Dick could only hope it would be enough.

Damian was fuming next to him, hand clenching and unclenching around the hilt of his sword. “This is taking too long.”

“We’re almost there, Damian.” Dick sighed. “You know we can’t exactly run in and crash through the walls. Not when we’re dealing with the League.”

“Why not? We have speedsters.”

“Yes, and if even one of them gets injured, we’ll have a hell of a time getting everyone out. Besides, we don’t know what condition Red Robin will be in. Chances are he wouldn’t benefit from getting carried at the speed of sound across half the globe.” Wally murmured something to his side, probably about speed of sound being for wussies, but Dick chose to ignore him.

Before Damian could continue the argument, a dark silhouette emerged from the cockpit, demanding everyone’s attention.

“Right. We’re almost there, so it’s time to go over the plan one more time.” Bruce was always deathly serious when it came to battle plans, but right now he looked even more so than usual. “Red Hood and Arsenal will land the plane and stay with it. No matter how stealthy we are, there’s a high chance that it gets spotted, so be ready for a fight.”

Arsenal gave a terse nod. “We’ve got it,” he said. “Not the first time we’re dealing with these fuckers.”

“Black Bat, Batgirl, you’re on perimeter. We’ll need a way out, so I’m counting on you to make sure we have it. You don’t have to get all the guards, just enough that there’s a point where we can get out. The less noise, the better.”

“Keep the path clear, understood.” Steph nodded, slipping the last of her batarangs back into her utility belt.

“Everyone else, we’re splitting up. Superboy, Wonder Girl, Impulse, you prioritize getting as deep as you can, try to catch any sign of Red Robin. Nightwing, Kid Flash, Robin, you’re with me. Nobody goes off alone. Impulse and Kid Flash, your primary duty is extraction. If anyone gets in over their head, or if we find Red Robin, you get them out and back to the plane, no exceptions. I’m not giving the League any more of my team.” His glare was as intimidating as ever, but Dick could feel the fear bleeding through. Bruce was afraid he was already too late for Tim, didn’t want to leave behind any more of his kids, real or honorary.

He was pretty sure they all shared the sentiment. They were going to leave with as many people as they arrived with, or more, if they were on time.

“You’ve all got a computer dongle. If you see anything even vaguely resembling a computer, stick it in; Oracle’s on the comms and will be ready to take over the system if we can get her an opening. No extra chatter on comms, but call in anything actually mission related. Again, nobody goes off alone.” Bruce paused, and it looked like he was physically pained by the next words. “If you find Ra’s, try not to engage, and certainly do not pursue him. We’re here to get Red Robin, not to get pulled into a trap.”

“On that note, KF?” Dick glanced at his boyfriend. “If there’s so much as a whiff of Ra’s, get Robin out.” He wasn’t happy about Damian being there at all, none of them were, but he had insisted the League being involved was all the more reason he should come along. That didn’t mean they had to hand him over to his bastard of a grandfather on a silver platter, though.

“No visitation rights for grandpa, got it.” Wally nodded, ignoring Damian’s attempt at protests. Dick would have worried about giving the kid so many reasons for frustration, but he had a feeling all such tension would be channeled into fighting off ninja very shortly.

“We’re about to enter the airspace,” Jason’s voice called out. “Check your comms and other gear, and make damn sure you’ve all got a way down.”

Their approach plan was not overly complicated. The bats all had parachutes or gliders and the training to use them, while Wonder Girl and Superboy were going to get the speedsters down. It was already dark, so they were hoping to make it to the ground before anyone spotted them, but there was no counting on it. In any case, things would get interesting the moment they were down.

Good. Dick was itching for a fight.

Their team didn’t have Superboy and his hearing, but they did have Robin, and that was almost enough to even the odds. All the League compounds had features in common, and Damian had additional knowledge of how his grandfather was likely to think. Dick expected him to find the way to the prison cells, but instead Damian seemed to lead them towards what could only be living quarters, with carpets and rugs softening the stone-carved hallways.

“The elite quarters are deep in the compound, at least as protected as the cells,” Damian explained in a hiss as he peered around a corner before darting off again. “More than that, they always have escape routes available, and Grandfather must be expecting us to arrive sooner or later. He’ll be holding Red Robin there, I’m sure of it.”

“Makes a depressing amount of sense,” Wally murmured. “Ra’s has some sort of plans for him, right? Besides just leaving him rotting in a cell somewhere. He’d want to have easy access.”

Dick fought down a wave of nausea at the phrasing and everything it implied. Still, he knew Wally was right. The interest Ra’s had in Tim was far from innocent.

Even in the middle of the night, they were facing more ninja with each hallway they cleared, which could only be a good sign. Dick told himself it was a good sign, anyway. It meant there was something or someone worth guarding here, and according to Damian, there were very few people that qualified. Most likely that meant Ra’s, or Tim, or both.

Dick had to hope Tim was there. He had to hope they were on time.

As one more ninja landed on the floor after an encounter with Batman’s heavy fist, Dick felt his heart skip a beat as he found the door they had been guarding locked. He motioned to Wally, who immediately proceeded to check all the disposed guards for keys. Coming up with a heavy, ornate key, he paused just long enough for all the bats to get in ready positions before trying it in the lock.

The door opened.

Nothing about this mission had been loud, neither the League ninja nor the bats on a stealth mission exactly known for making a ruckus, but Dick was still startled by how eerily silent the room beyond was. They were deep under the compound now, far from anything happening outside or even the fights in other areas, nothing but their breathing and his own racing heart filling Dick’s ears. It felt like there should have been something, though, some sign that they had reached their destination, something besides silence and a deep darkness that was barely touched by the light creeping in from the hallway.

The corridors they had been moving through had all been at least faintly lit, balancing the impracticality of lighting up such a large space with the danger of leaving shadows for people to hide in from the guards’ gaze. This room was entirely shrouded in darkness, though, even the filters of the mask and his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting giving Dick no real idea of the place until Batman turned on a flashlight with a faint click, chasing away the shadows.

Damian had been right. This was no cell, more like a bedroom, the furnishings basic but made of rich woods and fabrics. There was a bathtub, a small table, even what looked like a mostly empty bookshelf against one of the walls. However, Dick ignored all that in favor of the large bed that demanded his attention. It was set against a wall near the middle of the room, very much a centerpiece, the exquisite fabrics of the pillows and sheets shining in the light. In the middle of all that lay a familiar, pale form, not giving any reaction at their arrival.

Tim. Tim was lying in the center of the bed, even paler than usual, wearing nothing but loose-fitting pants and a metal collar around his neck. A collar that, Dick realized with an icy jolt, was connected to a thick chain that ended at the wall at the head of the bed. There was some slack to the chain, perhaps just enough that he could reach the bathtub and the table, but the intent was clear.

Ra’s had Tim shackled to the goddamn bed.

Dick heard Wally mutter a curse under his breath, couldn’t bring himself to hold Damian back as his little brother rushed forward, climbing on the bed heedless of potential traps. Bruce was striding forward as well, his mouth set in a grim line.

“He’s alive,” Damian reported in a tense tone, and Dick felt his body flooding with relief. It was a small mercy, but it was better than he had feared. “No apparent serious injuries, though there are fresh bruises. I can’t wake him up, though. Probably drugged.”

Bruce lifted a hand to his ear, the comms crackling to life. “We found him,” he said, and Dick could have sworn he felt the relief of the entire team washing over him in a wordless wave. “Alive, likely sedated, we’ll need to get a blood sample as soon as he’s safely on the plane to see what we’re dealing with. Everyone start heading back out, we’re exfiltrating as soon as possible.”

Dick had already shaken himself out of his stunned surprise, stepping up to his brothers. “Robin? You have anything —” He couldn’t even finish his sentence before Damian had already dug out a miniature plasma cutter from his utility belt and handed it over. “Right. Thanks.”

They wasted no time in getting Tim free, Bruce and Wally guarding the door for any reinforcements, yet Dick was hardly surprised when he heard Bruce’s growl while they were still debating whether to try to pick the lock on the collar or just leave it and deal with it later. “Superboy, Impulse. I thought I made myself clear.”

“Yeah, yeah, everyone get out. We all know that’ll happen much faster if you’ve got a helping hand. Oracle agreed, it’s why she told us where to go.” Impulse was speaking just a bit faster than regular, though whether that was a sign of him still being ready for a fight or deliberately trying to slow down his nervous babble remained to be seen. “The ladies are guarding the perimeter, but the sooner we get everyone out the better.”

Bruce sighed. “Right. Impulse, get Robin out.” There was a rush of air and then Robin was gone, his protest cut off halfway. Dick fought down something that might have been a smile if he hadn’t been so damn terrified. “Superboy, Kid Flash. You get Red Robin out, then come back for us. Tell Hood to be ready for takeoff the moment everyone is on board.”

There were no arguments, not even a word said between them. Dick expected Superboy to pick up Tim, but instead Kon seemed to leave that task to Wally. He probably wanted to be able to hit anyone who would even think of getting in the way of their rescue operation.

The next moment Dick was left alone with Bruce, both of them falling into a dark silence for a second.

“Do you think —” Dick started, then cut himself off. He couldn’t quite bring himself to finish the sentence.

“There is very little Ra’s wouldn’t do if it would further his goals,” Bruce replied, voice tense. “And we both know his interest in Tim is… beyond professional.”

Dick nodded, swallowing back the bile rising in his throat. He glanced at the bed and fought down the urge to light it on fire just to make a point. He resisted, but the urge did make him think of something else.

“Say, Batman,” he murmured. “Did you tell everyone to stay away from Ra’s because he’s dangerous, or because you thought we might be too tempted to break the rules?”

He got no answer, which was all he needed to know.

Chapter Text

Jason was rather relieved to see Alfred and Oracle were the only ones in the cave as they filed out of the plane.

It was to be expected, it was pretty late in Gotham, but it wouldn’t have been the first time Lian refused to settle down without them. Thankfully she seemed to have behaved, as Alfred returned his questioning glance with a nod and a terse smile before rushing off to greet the people rolling Tim out of the plane. Babybird was still out of it, though he was at least showing signs of starting to wake up. Their field test kit had confirmed there was nothing worse than sedatives in his system, which was bad enough but at least nothing they had dealt with before.

Jason tried not to think about how fucked up it was that the Legion apparently had a routine of sedating Tim even after holding him for weeks.

Bruce and Alfred seemed to do a good job of shooing people away from the medbay, Dick doing his best to herd everyone towards the showers. Any smaller injuries had already been checked and tended to during the otherwise boring flight, meaning they could focus on Tim at last. Jason tugged Roy along, not wanting to waste time or have to wait for everyone else to get showered and changed. There was no call for their particular skills down here, and they had a very important check to make.

Even trying to hurry, it took Jason a while to make sure he didn’t stink of sweat and blood. Roy had apparently beaten him to the punch, greeting him with a towel and a set of clean sweats as he got out of the shower. “Already checked in with Oracle,” he said as Jason gave him a look. “She’ll pass the word to anyone who asks about us.”

“I love it when you’re efficient.” Jason grabbed the towel and gave Roy a quick kiss in return. “Let’s drop by the kitchen, Alf’s got to have some food ready and I don’t want to wake up just because I’m hungry.” He certainly felt ready to sleep for a month.

“I love it when you’re acting like a responsible adult.” Roy smirked, exchanging the towel for the clothes once Jason had himself dry enough.

“You shut your mouth, can’t have anyone thinking I could ever be anything but a reckless bastard.”

Alfred, blessed Alfred not only had food ready, he’d filled the fridge with readily packaged portions they could just grab and go. Jason gathered enough sandwiches to hopefully feed two grown vigilantes fresh home from a mission before heading upstairs, Roy following him with bottles of water.

He’d been playing nice with the bats for a while now, but it still felt weird making his way towards the family wing like this, tired and freshly showered and ready to fall into bed. It was even weirder to have Roy following along, close enough they could have held hands if they hadn’t both been carrying things.

The door Jason pushed open with his shoulder wasn’t his old bedroom, the one that had been furnished with a bigger bed when Bruce had started dropping not so subtle hints that Roy was welcome to visit as well. This one was still relatively fresh, the walls painted a cheery yellow just the previous winter, the furniture all new because the manor hadn’t been prepared for actual small children since Bruce had been one himself. A bird-shaped nightlight cast the entire room in a soft purple glow, illuminating the sole occupant.

Lian was asleep in her bed, clutching a bootleg Red Hood doll that Dick had picked up as a joke that had turned into her favorite bedtime toy. Jason managed a faint smile as he sat down on the floor next to her, eyes locked on her as he piled the carefully wrapped sandwiches on the rug next to him. Roy handed him a bottle of water before dropping down to the floor as well, heaving a sigh.

“Wish I could pick her up without waking her,” Jason murmured as he started unwrapping the first sandwich. “Will have to settle for knowing she’s safe and sound, though.”

“Sometimes it’s got to be enough.” Roy nodded. “Going to spend all day tomorrow cuddling her, though.”

“Damn right.” The sandwich was perfect, the combination of Alfred’s cooking and post-mission hunger making it the best thing he could have wished for. Well, the best thing he could have hoped for besides seeing Lian safely asleep, but he already had that, too.

They ate in silence, enjoying each other’s company and Lian’s calm breaths. The plane flight home had been quite enough for the adrenaline to fade away, but now the bone-deep exhaustion was really starting to settle in. They did both risk a quick kiss to her hair as they were cleaning up, and Jason couldn’t help but smile as he saw Lian sighing happily in her sleep, snuggling closer to her doll. Safe and sound, indeed.

Roy intertwined their fingers as they sneaked out of Lian’s room, making the short journey to Jason’s room right across the hall. A part of Jason considered risking waking Lian just to carry her along, but he didn’t want to risk startling her with night terrors. He’d been getting better about those, but if there was anything that could trigger a bad night, seeing Tim carried into the plane with a fucking slave collar would do it.

“I’ve no idea how B ever let any of us out of the house, never mind on the streets,” Jason murmured as they settled into bed, holding each other close. “I’ve got one kid and I want to dress her in bubble wrap and cotton wool.”

Roy made a small sound, the usual mixture of fondness and surprise he still sometimes expressed when Jason referred to Lian as his. Well, he’d better get used to it, since Jason wasn’t letting go of either of them. “To be fair, you were all a bit older than three,” he reminded Jason, breath warm against Jason’s skin in the darkness of the bedroom. Warm, solid, alive. “I have a feeling she’ll have a thing or two to say about that when she’s a teenager.”

“Tough. I’m not letting her anywhere near a fight if I can help it, not until she’s at least forty.” Realistically he knew Roy was right, knew that Lian would probably make her way out to the field long before that, but he could at least dream. Surely their fucked-up family was due at least one member who didn’t put their life on the line on a regular basis.

The image of Tim’s motionless body flashed before his eyes, pale and bruised and probably hiding much deeper hurts than could be seen from the surface, and he clung to Roy just a little bit tighter.

Chapter Text

Bruce was eternally grateful to Dick for helping them shoo everyone else out of the medbay. They all needed showers, food, and sleep, while Tim would likely appreciate what little privacy they could afford him. Not that any of them had much modesty left around family and friends, as evidenced by the kids — teens and young adults, but they would always be kids in his head — heading for the showers and locker rooms in one restless mass, but this wasn’t just about injuries and bare skin. Not if his fears were at all founded in reality.

Alfred had everything prepared, moved straight to examining Tim the moment the medbay doors closed. He was nothing if not professional, but Bruce saw the slight shake in his hands, the furrow between his brows. “What can you tell me, Master Bruce?”

He had given Alfred a quick rundown over the comms earlier, but drew a deep breath anyway. No harm in reiterating, especially when he didn’t have to watch his words quite so closely without all the extra ears. “He was sedated in a bed when he found him,” he said, folding his arms for lack of anything better to do. “Guess he’d been giving them trouble if they bothered with that, considering they also had him in a collar that was chained to the wall. Already did what we could for the marks from that once we got it off,” he added, nodding towards Tim’s neck where the marks from the metal collar had been carefully covered with ointment and feather-light bandages. “By the looks of it he’d been wearing it for a while. No major injuries or apparent torture, and it seemed like they were feeding him something at least. Fresh and fading bruises, though, and from how pale he is, I’d guess he hasn’t seen sunlight since they got him.”

“Being hidden away would certainly explain why the young Master Kent could not hear him.” Alfred paused as Tim turned his head toward him as Alfred prepared his arm for more blood samples. Clearly the drugs were starting to wear off. “And his… attire? Or lack thereof?”

“That’s all he was wearing.” Bruce grimaced. “It’s… it wasn’t exactly hot in the room where he was being held. I think we can discount it being a matter of comfort.”

“Indeed.” Alfred’s frown got even deeper. “Well, then. Could you assist me in getting his vitals?”

Bruce knew busywork when it was offered to him, and was grateful to accept. Alfred shooed him off to get showered and changed after a bit, a task he only took with great reluctance and much hurry. It was just as well, as he arrived just in time to see Tim starting to stir awake.

“I… how…” Tim blinked, eyes unfocused for a moment before they settled on Bruce, widening in shock. “Bruce?”

“Hello, Tim.” Bruce swallowed, walking closer. He set aside the spare clothes he’d gotten from the locker room for Tim, rushing over to the side of his cot. “You’re fine. You’re safe.”

Tim sat up, wavering a little until Alfred steadied him with a calming hand. Now that he was awake the paleness of his face was even more obvious somehow, his eyes dark and haunted as he looked up at Bruce. “How…”

“Superboy got worried when he couldn’t hear you.” Which was an admission of guilt on his part, but Bruce wasn’t going to shy away from it. Tim deserved nothing but the truth. “It’s… it took us a while, but we managed to track you down to a League compound. We went in, found you, and got out.” He stepped closer, settling his hand on the edge of the cot, not quite close enough to touch. “I’m sorry, Tim. I’m so, so sorry we didn’t find you sooner.”

“You found me. That’s — that’s what matters.” Tim ran a hand over his face. “I shouldn’t have let myself get captured like that.”

“My dear boy, please don’t blame yourself for not managing to both outwit and overpower the entire League of Assassins.” Alfred sniffed. “You are quite capable, but you are only one person.”

“I’ve dealt with Ra’s before.” Tim shuddered. “Which is pretty much the problem, since apparently I impressed him more than I would have wanted.”

“Right.” Bruce swallowed. “Tim… we need to know what happened. What they did to you.”

“I guess there’s no way around that, huh.” Tim bit his lip. “Can I have a shirt first, at least?”

Bruce wordlessly handed him the clothes, then turned around to give him some measure of privacy. After a moment of shuffling sounds, Tim cleared his throat. Taking this as a sign it was okay to turn back, Bruce wasn’t too surprised to find that Tim had also changed out of the pants the League had put him in. Alfred was already discreetly folding away the offending garment.

“I was tracking down a lead about potential assassin activity in Metropolis,” Tim said, wrapping his arms around himself like he was cold. He wouldn’t look at Bruce or Alfred, staring resolutely at the opposite wall. “Didn’t think to alert anyone because at the moment it was just some rumors. Turns out it was very real, and said activity was stalking me.” He sighed. “One minute I was fighting a dozen ninja, the next I woke up to Ra’s al Ghul looking down at me with an evil smirk and a cup of some sort of magic potion.”

That… didn’t sound good. “What kind of potion?”

“I have no idea, except it smelled awful and burned. He was really keen on forcing it down my throat, though, every day for at least a week. Far as I could tell, anyway, I’m not sure I left that one room since they first brought me there so I didn’t really have much reference for days passing.” Tim grimaced. “I remember my stomach hurting like hell, though I’m not sure if it was the potion or the fact they wouldn’t give me any food for a while, just water. Probably wanted to weaken me so I couldn’t fight, or something.”

“Most likely.” Bruce made a mental note to reach out to any magic users he could. Whatever Ra’s was scheming, it probably wasn’t good, and his methods could well be beyond the reach of ordinary science. “So, that was a week. What happened then?” What kind of terrible things had his poor boy gone through while Bruce hadn’t even known he was gone?

“After that Ra’s raped me,” Tim said, voice flat and emotionless even as it chilled Bruce to the bone. “Repeatedly. Can’t say much more than that, it all kind of blurs together. He liked to keep me just drugged enough that I could struggle but not actually overpower him.”

Bruce closed his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, knowing he could never make up for all this. “This should have never happened.”

“No, it shouldn’t have.” Tim sighed. “Aside from that, I was mostly left alone. Well, alone to entertain myself, though there were always guards in the room unless I was drugged. I’m not sure if he was afraid I’d manage to escape or kill myself, but he was damn well not going to allow either.”

“Master Timothy,” Alfred started, his voice heartbroken, but then trailed off. Bruce couldn’t blame him; he didn’t have much in the way of words, either.

“I’m not going to. I wasn’t trying then, and I’m not going to now.” As Bruce opened his eyes again, he found Tim looking at him with a determined fire in his eyes. “After all the shit I’ve gone through without giving in, I’ll be damned if it’s his wrinkly dick that breaks me.”

“I know. You are strong, Tim.” That much, at least, Bruce had always known. “So much stronger than people give you credit for, yourself included. And I’m so, so glad you managed to hang on until we found you.” He reached out his hand, stopped just short of actually touching Tim’s shoulder. “But… you don’t have to be strong right now. You’re safe, we’ll keep you safe, you’re allowed to break a little. All I ask is that you let us be here to help you put the pieces back together.”

For a moment Tim stared at him, before finally Tim was the one who closed his eyes. A shudder ran through his entire body, arms hugging himself even tighter. “I can still feel his touches everywhere,” he whispered, low enough that Bruce might not have heard him if he hadn’t been standing right next to him. “I’m not sure I’ll ever manage to feel safe again.”

Bruce’s heart was already broken, but he could feel it shattering into even smaller pieces, now.

Chapter Text

For the first time in a long while, Tim woke from sleep without the dull haze of his body working off drugs. It might have been a relief, if not for the fact what woke him up were the lingering threads of a nightmare.

Did it count as a nightmare if it consisted mostly of memories? If his body still held the bruises and aches he dreamed of?

Tim was still trying to calm his breath when the door cracked open. The door of his bedroom, Tim reminded himself, safe and sound back in the Manor, surrounded by family and free to do whatever he wanted.

His hand brushed against his throat, only to wince at the pain. He was free of the collar, but it would be a while before his body could forget it, never mind his brain.

“Tim?” The familiar voice soothed his nerves even before he recognized the familiar shape of Kon in the doorway. “Are you all right? Your heartbeat went kinda wild.”

“Just — just a nightmare.” Tim brought up his knees and leaned against them, hugging his legs. “Thought I was still there. With Ra’s.” His voice nearly broke at that.

“I’m sorry.” The door closed behind Kon. Before Tim could even wince at being in darkness again, the light on his nightstand clicked on. Tim could clearly picture the familiar tingle of Kon’s TTK reaching from his feet to the floor and back up to the nightstand. Imagining the power at work helped him gather himself. As long as he was within Kon’s reach, he was safe from anyone else’s touch. “We should have found you sooner.”

“It’s not your fault.” Tim managed not to wince when the bed dipped under the weight of Kon sitting down on the edge. “None of yours. I’m pretty sure Bruce will institute mandatory check-ins for everyone after this, but it’s not like I haven’t gone off on my own before. You started looking for me the moment you knew something was wrong, and I definitely can’t blame you for Ra’s being a scheming bastard with way too many resources.”

“I know. Doesn’t mean I can’t wish I could have done better.” Tim saw Kon’s hand reaching towards him in his peripheral vision and suppressed a wince. Clearly he didn’t suppress it well enough, though, because Kon immediately froze, then let his hand fall. A moment later Tim felt the tingling of TTK brushing against his feet. It wasn’t enough to hold him down, he could tell that much, but it was a reassurance that Kon was there with him.

It was stupid, Tim thought, that he couldn’t bear to be touched by Kon yet was comforted by knowing he was near. But then, he should know by now that trauma was rarely rational.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Kon’s voice was quiet, but it felt loud in the silence. Tim closed his eyes, swallowing.

“The light helps. Not being in the dark.” He paused, thinking. “And… could you talk? Please? It’s just — it was always so quiet there. Unless Ra’s was there, it was quiet.” And if he never heard Ra’s speak again, it would still be too soon.

“Ah, sure. Do you want me to talk about anything in particular, or…?”

“Anything. I just — I just want to hear your voice.” Anything to reassure himself he was safe.

Kon didn’t ask any further questions, just launched into a story about everything their mutual friends had been up to since Tim last heard from them. Sure, he knew Cassie and Bart had both been part of the rescue operation, had even seen them briefly before they had headed home, but that was quite different from the silly anecdotes about how Bart had managed to get himself a stomach ache from trying out too many ice cream flavors at once or how Cassie was considering a haircut. It all reminded him that life was going on, and he was now part of that life again.

Honestly, he was pretty sure any voice except Ra’s’s would have soothed his nerves at this point. However, the fact that it was Kon talking about familiar matters did make it all the better. That, and the feeling of TTK pressing ever so gently against him, assuring him even without looking that the voice wasn’t just all in his head.

By the time Kon was murmuring about an afternoon he had spent with Jon the other week, Kryptonian genes keeping his voice still steady, morning light was starting to peek in through the window. Tim was actually starting to nod off, the steady stream of words chasing away the dreams.

“Get some sleep,” Kon said when Tim stifled a yawn. “I can just keep talking until Alfred comes to get you for breakfast.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.” He’d already kept Kon up for half the night as it was.

“You’re not asking, I’m telling you.” As Tim peeked at him, Kon was giving him a soft smile. “I promise I don’t mind.”

“If you’re sure.” He certainly wouldn’t complain about the chance was some more drug-free sleep without nightmares.

Anything to remind him he had escaped the silence of his glorified cell.

Chapter Text

“Little brother?”

Tim didn’t flinch at the voice, but it was a near thing. He’d just gotten out of the bathroom and put on some clothes, his hair still damp from the shower. Even clothed and safe in his own room he still felt quite vulnerable.

Still, he knew this voice, knew that it promised nothing but safety. “Cass.” Tim drew a deep breath, collecting himself. “Come in.”

Cass opened the door carefully, peeking in. She then stepped inside and closed the door after herself. “Alfred sent this.” She held up a small tub of Alfred’s best bruise cream.

“Right.” Tim swallowed. “Thank you.”

Cass walked closer, pausing a short distance from where he was sitting on the edge of his bed. “Need help?”

Tim hesitated. He knew some of his bruises were in places he could not easily reach, such as his back, so help would certainly be appreciated. However, that would require being touched. Being seen. Trusting someone else with his body.

If he couldn’t trust Cass, he couldn’t trust anyone.

“Please.” He sighed, peeling off the t-shirt he had just gotten on. It didn’t quite expose all his injuries, of course, but anything below the waist he would handle on his own. This was difficult enough as it was.

Cass aproached on silent feet, checking out his throat first. Tim knew the bandages were there for a reason, knew they were as light and loose as they could be while still protecting the damaged skin underneath. Even so, they reminded him all too sharply of the collar that had rubbed him raw in the first place.

Thankfully Cass didn’t find reason to touch his throat, nodding in satisfaction at the results of her inspection before she opened the tub of cream. The cream was cool as she carefully spread it on Tim’s bruise-mottled skin, rubbing it in with feather-light touches.

He didn’t want to even imagine what she might be seeing when she looked at him. Was she cataloguing every wince, every flinch he couldn’t manage to suppress? Or was there no point when she had no doubt seen all of it in one glance when she first came in?

“Silly brother.” Cass huffed, poking her finger at one of his less battered spots to break him out of his spiraling thoughts. “Don’t worry.”

“I’m sorry.” Tim sighed. “I just…”

“You’re scared.” Calm, factual. An observation.

“I shouldn’t be.” Tim drew a deep breath, trying to center himself. “I know you wouldn’t hurt me.”

“Know in your head. Not your body.” Cass patted him on the head as though to make the point. “You’ll remember.”

“Will I?” Tim didn’t want to voice that particular fear, but he couldn’t help it. “What if I never get less scared?” What if he could never be around his loved ones without remembering Ra’s and his touches?

Someone else might have assured him that he would get over it, that he was strong and brave or whatever else might be thought to necessary to overcome trauma. Cass, however, just returned to her task of applying the cream.

“Then you are scared. We’ll keep you safe.” Cass gave him a calm look. No pity, just understanding. “Still little brother, always.”

In a way, it was comforting. She wasn’t promising that things would be fine, that everything would get better, that they could fix everything and make it go away. What she did promise was much better, because he knew for a fact she could make it true.

Even if he was broken and hurt, he would always be her little brother.

Chapter Text

Even after all these years, even knowing that he had every right to be here, it felt strange to be in the Cave without any of the bats there.

Wally busied himself with getting the medbay ready. Alfred had cleaned out everything after Tim was moved upstairs, which meant he simply needed to get out the basic first aid supplies. They wouldn’t be enough for anything serious, but then, he was rather hoping there would be nothing truly serious to deal with.

There had better not be anything serious, since there had also been no calls for assistance.

Most of the bats were staying home, nobody willing to get far from their rescued bird. Jason had gone out, citing the need to keep his territory under control. While that was no doubt true, Wally also suspected he wouldn’t mind if someone gave him reason to inflict violence upon those deserving.

Dick for his part had not given any reasoning besides the fact that one of them at least should be out. From the grim look on his face before he hopped on his bike Wally knew his motive for volunteering himself was much the same as Jason’s.

It was kind of amusing how people sometimes characterized Jason as the angry Robin. As Dick’s best friend since the time of the short pants, Wally felt uniquely qualified to state that was bullshit. Jason was loud and brash, sure, and did not hesitate to make his displeasure known. However, aside from the time he spent under the constant influence of the Lazarus Pits Jason was not actually as much of a hothead as people liked to suggest.

Dick, though? His temper was legendary among those who knew him, sparking easily and burning bright. And nothing brought out the angry Dick as easily as someone harming his loved ones.

Wally thankfully didn’t need to wait around for too long before he heard the roar of a motorcycle speeding through the tunnels towards the Cave. He made sure to be out of the medbay when Dick arrived, standing in a spot where it would be impossible for Dick to miss him.

Dick didn’t seem surprised to find him there, just sighing as he set his helmet aside and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m not injured. Nothing worse than some scratches and bruises, anyway.”

“We’ll see about that.” Wally lifted his eyebrows. “Either I check you for injuries before you shower, or I do it after. That’s the only choice you get in the matter.”

Dick grimaced, then sighed. “I’ll shower first.”

Wally decided that was a good sign. However frustrated he felt, Dick wouldn’t put things off if he had any truly serious injuries. The bats’ poor self-preservation instincts aside, he knew Wally wouldn’t be happy with him for that bullshit.

Dick’s shower was quick by regular human standards, meaning it was only a slightly agonizing wait for Wally and his speedster senses. When he emerged from the locker rooms he hadn’t bothered to put on a shirt, carrying one in his hand instead. The reason was obvious at a glance, looking at the deepening bruises all over his torso.

“Nothing’s bleeding,” Dick quickly assured him even as Wally whisked him off his feet and deposited him on one of the cots in the medbay. “Well, nothing aside from a few Gotham thugs, anyway.”

“You’re the one who insists on working out your feelings by beating up people, you can handle me checking you over.” Wally paused long enough in his examination of Dick’s injuries to give him a serious look. “And don’t tell me this isn’t about that. I get it, you feel guilty for not helping Tim sooner and helpless to change what happened, but throwing yourself at bad guys isn’t going to help anyone.”

“It’s not just about that.” At Wally’s dubious gaze, Dick sighed. “It isn’t. Well, not just that. I just… really needed to go out.”

Wally nodded for Dick to continue. “Did something happen?”

“Zatanna is coming over tomorrow.” Dick drew a deep breath. “Bruce won’t tell us why, says he’s just covering all his bases. However, I know him. For him to have called in a magician he’s got to have good reason to think Ra’s has done something magic-related. Except either Tim doesn’t want us to know the details, or Bruce doesn’t, and neither scenario is something I want to think about too much.”

“Shit.” He knew they were alone, but even so Wally couldn’t help but glance around in case Alfred was somehow lurking about. “Okay, that does sound ominous.”

“I mean, hopefully it’s nothing, but… it’s Ra’s. It’s never nothing.”

Wally didn’t bother on commenting. Instead he focused on cleaning and wrapping up Dick’s knuckles. Even with the reinforced gloves they showed just how much punching he had been doing.

They both stayed quiet until Wally finished his treatment, brushing a light kiss on top of the bandages. “Let’s go to bed,” he murmured. “Whatever happens tomorrow, you’ll need the energy.”

“You’re right.” Dick sounded rather unhappy about it, though Wally knew it was nothing about the suggestion itself and rather remaining bitterness about the whole situation. “Could you —”

“You don’t even need to ask.” Without waiting for Dick to finish Wally put the shirt on him, then swept him up into his arms. A moment later they were up in Dick’s bedroom, Wally’s clothes shed on the floor by the bed and both of them snuggled between the sheets.

Wally wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and pretended not to notice the tears.

Chapter Text

“Thank you for coming so soon.” Bruce ignored the perfectly sculpted eyebrow that was lifted in his direction. Sure, he wasn’t exactly one for thanking people in such clear words, had never been, but that didn’t mean he was entirely without manners. Certainly not when the safety of his children was at stake.

“When you are asking for help, I know something serious must be going on.” Zatanna glanced around the Batcave, notably empty of any lurking bats. From the zeta access point the entire space seemed quite deserted, in fact, the only other occupants tucked away in the medbay. Bruce hoped it might be helpful, in a way, framing this as just another check they had to do before Tim could be given a clean bill of health, or as close to one as was reasonable at the moment. “Though in a serious matter I would expect to see rather more action around here.”

“It’s not a currently active situation. Well, not as such.” Bruce turned to lead her way towards the medbay, not wanting to leave Tim to his worries any longer than necessary even with Alfred’s ever steady presence at his side. “I’m not sure if the rumor mill has already spread the word, but Red Robin was held captive for a while. We just managed to rescue him a couple of days ago.”

“And you fear there might be some lingering magic at play?”

“I know there is.” Bruce allowed himself a sigh. “It’s — League of Assassins had him. Ra’s al Ghul in particular.” There was no audible response, nothing verbal at least, but he was pretty sure he heard the clack of Zatanna’s heels against the stone floor turn a bit sharper. “He told us Ra’s forced him to drank some kind of a magic potion, several times over a period of at least a week. As you can imagine, we’d rather like to know what that was about.”

Zatanna murmured what just might have been a curse under her breath. “It’s not —”

“Nothing to do with the Lazarus pit. At least, Tim didn’t think so. Apparently he would have expected Ra’s to gloat more openly if that were the case.” Which rather implied that had been a point of contention between the two before, and Bruce was damn well going to get to the bottom of that, too. Once Tim was better, at least. “He’ll give you the exact details himself, I’m sure.”

That seemed to satisfy Zatanna for now, as she followed Bruce without another word. As they reached the medbay and its occupants, she offered Alfred a soft greeting before turning her attention to Tim. “I would ask how you are doing, but just a look at you tells me that would be pointless.”

“Good. I’m way too tired to try to lie.” Tim gave her a wan smile, shoulders hunched as he sat on one of the medical cots. “So. What do you need to know?”

Zatanna asked some very detailed questions about the potion, which Tim answered to the best of his abilities, with Bruce and Alfred both hovering in the background as moral support. Bruce wasn’t sure which horrified him more, the bits Tim wasn’t entirely sure about — how often he had been fed the potion, how much there had been each time, how much water he had been given — or the parts that he recounted with nauseating detail — how it had burned as it was forced down his throat, the pain that could have been the potion or the starvation or both, the sharp acidic smell that had not quite matched the more muddy taste and texture. He’d told Tim beforehand that he could and should take a break from the questioning if needed, but listening to it now Bruce wondered if he wasn’t the one who actually needed an escape.

At last, Zatanna was done with questions, her grave expression offering little insight into her thoughts. “I have a couple of theories, none of them particularly pleasant.” Bruce did appreciate her straightforwardness, and he rather suspected so did Tim. “I’ll have to do a couple of scans before I can say anything for sure, though.”

Tim nodded, mirroring her serious expression. “What do I need to do?”

“Not anything, really, though you might want to lie down. This might make you feel a bit light-headed if my magic clashes too much with whatever is in your system, and I would rather not get mauled by an overprotective papa bat.”

Bruce grunted. “It’s not overprotective if he is in need of protection.”

“Pretty sure there is no safer place for me right now.” Still, Tim lay down on the medical cot, and Bruce tried to ignore the all too fresh memories of him doing the same thing after they had brought him home. He did not look quite as fragile now, but the pain and exhaustion still lingered in every line of his too thin form.

Bruce wasn’t sure he had the right to be protective, when he had already failed so spectacularly at his task.

Zatanna drew a deep breath, extending her arms to draw invisible symbols in the air. Well, invisible until they burst into brilliant blue light, mystical sigils glowing in the air and making Tim look even paler. “Wohs em ruoy esoprup.”

The sigils morphed, their hue changing slightly, and while they were entirely incomprehensible to Bruce, Zatanna seemed to draw some meaning from them. Considering her face turned a shade paler, Bruce doubted the meaning was anything good.

The question burned on his tongue, but he managed to bite it back, if only because Zatanna was clearly not done yet. With another, now slightly shaky breath, she raised her hands again. “Laever eht toor fo efil!”

The sigils from before had faded, now replaced by new shining lights. This time there was no magical writing, though, no runes to read. Instead there were five pinpricks of light casting the medbay into shades of blue. One was somehow glowing from within Bruce’s own chest, somewhere from the proximity of his heart, Alfred at his side having his own hidden spark. Zatanna’s was brilliant and bright, as expected, while the one hidden within Tim’s chest was not quite as bright yet somehow sharper in its glow.

For perhaps the first time in his life, Bruce wanted to be wrong. He desperately wanted Zatanna to say anything but what he already knew she was going to say, his gaze locked on the fifth point of light shining from low within Tim’s abdomen.

“Life and healing and creation, tainted by his darkness and twisted to his purposes,” Zatanna spat out, the words dripping with venom as she clenched her hands into shaking fists. “That snake wanted you to bear his seed, and for that he needed fertile ground.”

For just a moment, her words were followed by silence. Then that silence was broken by several things at once: a murmur of horror from Alfred, a wordless growl from Bruce himself, a vehement curse from outside the medbay.

Wait.

The silence that fell now was tense rather than shocked, everyone’s eyes flitting over to the medbay door. There was no obvious culprit, nobody admitting to their transgression, but Bruce was fast enough to catch a glimpse of several shadows flitting out of sight. Of course. He was not the only one who was feeling protective, and certainly not the only one who wished to know what ailed Tim. Even when everyone else had been warned to stay away.

Tim had been pale just moments earlier, but now his face turned a papery white, red highlights of shame coloring his cheeks. Before Bruce could think of what to say, could come up with any sort of reassurance or promise or comfort, Tim had slipped away from the cot and darted past all three of the adults, breaking out into the cave proper. There were voices calling for him, now, their observers no longer bothering to hide, but Tim only sped up to a point that Bruce would have found impressive in Tim’s weakened state if he hadn’t been so horrified. Before anyone could reach him Tim was gone, slipping into the elevator and closing the doors after him. Bruce wanted to follow, wanted to find him and draw him close and promise him it would all be fine and Bruce would chase away all his nightmares, but he couldn’t.

He couldn’t bring himself to lie to his son.

Chapter Text

Dick drew a deep breath before rapping his knuckles against the door. “Tim?” He waited a moment, listening for a response. He knew Tim was in his room, hadn’t left it since he first locked himself in there, and their initial shock and horror at the news was making way for ever deepening concern. “Tim? It’s me, Dick. Can we talk?”

The silence stretched on a little longer. Finally, he heard a quiet voice, “Just you?”

“Just me, I promise.” It wasn’t even a lie, he’d shooed off anyone else lingering in the hallway, which was no easy feat. “I just — I want to talk, that’s all. You don’t have to say anything. Please, Baby Bird?” It was unfair, he knew, using his plaintive big brother voice, but he was not above unfair when his little brother was hurting so.

Another pause, then, “Fine. But — just you.”

“Promise.” He heard the lock click, waited a second before pushing the door open, giving Tim time to get some distance between them. When he stepped in Tim was sitting on his bed, curled up with his head pressed against his knees.

Dick crouched down in front of Tim, studying him for a moment. It made him ache, seeing his brother so clearly in pain, somehow even worse than when they had first rescued him because now he knew the extent of what Tim was dealing with. He had suspected, of course, had even known it to be likely, but he hadn’t actually known.

“Everyone’s worried about you,” he said, keeping his voice soft. “It’s — it’s okay if you don’t want to come out yet. I know you’re dealing with a lot right now. Just — whenever you’re ready, we’ll be there.”

“I can’t.” Tim’s words were half a sob. “I just — I can’t take everyone looking at me. Not when they know.”

“Oh, Baby Bird.” If there was any part of Dick’s heart that hadn’t been shattered already, it was ground to dust now for sure. “I’m sorry. So, so sorry.”

Tim snorted. “What, not going to tell me they won’t look at me any differently?”

“No. I know that whatever I tell you won’t change the way their gazes feel, not right now.” Dick paused. He didn’t really know how to approach this, but he figured he might as well get into it. “Do you know why Barbara and I broke up?”

At last Tim lifted his head, giving Dick a questioning gaze. He didn’t say anything, but he was clearly listening, at least.

“Babs thought I had cheated on her. Understandably, she dumped me.” Dick gave Tim a weary smile as the boy’s eyes widened, looking as though he wanted to defend Dick against his own words. “In her defense, it was half true.”

“What does that even mean?” Tim’s voice was hoarse, his eyes studying Dick as though he were some strange case to be solved.

“It’s true that someone who wasn’t Barbara had sex with me.” Dick turned his eyes away, gathering himself. It still wasn’t easy to talk about, even after all the time, even though he’d come here with that precise plan. “I just didn’t have much of a choice in the matter.”

“What?” Even without looking he could feel Tim staring at him.

“You know who Blockbuster was.” He had no doubt about that, with how thoroughly Tim liked to read all available case files. “From the official bat files, you’ll know he was shot by Tarantula. What the files don’t state is that I let her do that.”

At last he managed to look back at Tim, found the kid staring at him, hanging on every word.

“It’s… I pretty much shut down after that. Tarantula took that as an opportunity.” Dick sighed. “I told her no, she didn’t care. I still blamed myself for a long time, for that and for pretty much everything that happened that night. So when Tarantula decided to brag about having sex with me, it didn’t even occur to me to argue.”

“And Barbara broke up with you for that?” Tim sounded horrified.

“As I said, she didn’t know what actually happened. Hell, I could barely admit it to myself for the longest time. It’s not like I blame her for leaving when she thought I’d cheated on her and I didn’t even try to argue.” Dick shook his head. “I’ve told her the truth since then, but at that point too much had happened for us to just go back to how things were before.”

“She… doesn’t hate you for it?”

“I’m pretty sure she doesn’t, or my life would be much more miserable.” Dick managed a faint chuckle before turning serious again. “It’s… I’m not going to claim it’s anything like what you went through. However, I do have enough perspective to tell you a few things.”

Tim hugged his knees closer to his chest, staring at Dick. “Like what?”

“Like the fact that none of the people I have told about it have thought any less of me for it. Granted, it’s not too many people, but that’s still true. When I told Wally, his main concern was about not bringing back any of that shit for me.” He paused. “And the fact that you aren’t at fault for anything that happened.”

“But I —”

“No. Not hearing it.” Dick shook his head. “I get that you’re blaming yourself. I blamed myself, too, for not fighting back, for not being strong enough, for feeling hurt and violated and not just being able to shrug it all off afterwards. Hell, I still can’t handle patrol in the rain on bad days, which is kind of a problem for a vigilante in this area.” He reached out a hand, slow and clearly telegraphed, and when Tim didn’t draw away he touched his little brother’s shoulder. “However, it wasn’t my fault, and this sure as hell isn’t your fault. And if you want to argue, remember that I was armed and in costume against one person, not drugged and chained and surrounded by the entire League of Assassins.”

Tim lowered his eyes but didn’t draw away. If anything, he seemed to lean just a little into Dick’s touch. “Then why do I feel so — so worthless?”

“Because you were hurt, Baby Bird. You were hurt and violated in the worst ways, and now it’s complicating your life even further, and for all your incredible qualities you’re still human.” Dick sighed. “I’m sorry I can’t take that away. I’m sorry I can’t just magically make things better, can’t make it so none of this happened, can’t even change it so you could have shared it on your own terms. What I can do is tell you that what Ra’s did doesn’t define you or your value. You’re still our Baby Bird, our Red Robin, and you deserve love and happiness and all the good things. Always.”

“I don’t feel like it.”

“I know. And it’s probably going to take a while before you can really believe me.” Dick squeezed his shoulder. “In the meantime we’re all going to continue loving you, no matter what happens.”

Tim bit his lip. “Even if — even if I have Ra’s’s child?”

“If that ends up being the case — which we don’t know yet, you know B’s going to research any and all possibilities that might help — we’re still going to love you just the same. And yes, I’m sure that also goes for Kon.”

That made Tim duck his head again. “I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t,” he whispered. “I — even if he doesn’t blame me, I can’t even stand the thought of a hug right now, never mind anything else. It wouldn’t be fair of me to expect him to just sit around and wait for me to get better.”

Dick bit back his immediate urge to reassure Tim that this wouldn’t be a problem, knowing his words wouldn’t mean much compared with what Kon himself could do. “If he can’t wait, then he doesn’t deserve you,” he said instead. “Dating you doesn’t entitle him to anything. I don’t think that is going to be a problem, though. He’s a good kid, and he wants the best for you.” He dared to run his hand through Tim’s hair, paused as his brother shuddered. “It’s going to be okay, Timmy. I know it doesn’t seem like that right now, and I know it might take a while, but it’s going to be okay in the long term.”

“How?” Tim’s voice broke at the question, somehow sounding younger than when he’d first showed up at the Manor, terror and courage wrapped up in one tiny preteen on a mission. “How can it ever be okay?”

“It’s going to be okay because we’ll make it that way. However long that takes.” Dick managed a smile somehow. “Robin’s honor.”

Tim looked up at him, now, one side of his lips curled into a humorless smile. “Pretty sure that’s not your promise to give anymore.”

“Once a Robin, always a Robin. We’re an ever-expanding club.” Dick’s smile turned more genuine. “Now, I get that you’re probably not up to joining everyone for dinner, so how about I go get some food for us? You’ll feel better if you eat something, and I’m sure I can convince Alfie that you need extra dessert for the shock.”

“I see how it is. All this was just a convoluted ploy to get yourself more dessert.”

“You got me, Baby Bird.” Dick flashed him a grin.

Things weren’t okay, they were so so far from okay, but they would get there. Eventually.

Dick would not allow for anything else.

Chapter Text

“You’re leaving soon, I see.”

Jason didn’t bother to look up, focusing on checking his gear. “No use in wasting time.” It would be difficult enough to track the bastard down without giving him any more of a head start.

“I agree.” Kon walked closer, steps heavy on the stone floor of the Cave. He was making a point, then, seeing how he was perfectly capable of hovering. “Which is why I want in.”

“No.” At least he didn’t have to consider that response for too long. “No way in hell am I letting you come along.” He lifted his eyes from the gun he’d been checking, meeting Kon’s stormy blue eyes with a glare of his own. “I’m not just going to pick Ra’s up and throw him in a cage, you know. When I track him down, I’ll put a fucking end to him once and for all.”

“I am aware.” Kon’s arms were crossed over his chest. “That is exactly why I want in.”

“Oh, no you don’t. I’m doing this on my own, and you’re the last fucking person that I’d let come along.”

“And why is that? Do you think I can’t handle that?” Kon’s eyes narrowed. “Because I promise, right now I am more than ready to murder.”

“You want the full list of reasons, or just the highlights?” Jason snorted. “Look, the fact that you feel ready to kill is top of the list for why it would be a bad idea. This is one of those things that gets easier every time you do it, and the first one is always the hardest. And I don’t care how furious you are right now, I don’t want to be even indirectly responsible for a super getting a taste for death.”

“So it’s all right for you to kill him, instead?”

“For one thing, I’ve already got a kill list longer than my arm. I know what I can and can’t do without losing control. You’re still a shiny bright hero, an example to all and shit like that. You might not think there’s value in that innocence, but I do, and I won’t help you break that if it can be avoided.” Jason gave him a hard look. “Besides, if I ever do go too far, I’m way easier to stop.”

“I have to agree.” This time it was Damian who stepped out of the shadows. “He is not capable of killing. I, however, am.”

“Fuck no.” Jason grimaced. “You’re not coming along, either. Not only would B fucking kill me, but I’m not letting you get involved.”

“And why not?” Damian clenched his fists, setting them on his hips. “You can’t use the innocence excuse for me. I have killed before, was trained for it since before I could remember. If anything, it would be deeply ironic for me to use my training to take down Grandfather once and for all.”

“Yeah, no. Being trained by him is exactly why you’re not allowed.”

“Why? You think I can’t handle it?” Damian’s frown deepened. “I assure you, I will not hesitate —”

“That’s not it.” Kon was the one who cut him off, glancing at Jason before turning to look at Damian as well. “You were trained to kill because Ra’s wanted a perfect heir. That’s the same reason why he captured Tim, too. If you used your League training to kill him, it would essentially mean he gets what he wants.”

“Exactly. Ra’s has done enough to hurt this family. He meant for you to be a killer, just like he meant for Tim to carry a killer. And I’ll fucking slaughter the entire League myself before I let him get his way with either of you.”

“That still doesn’t mean you need to go alone.” Oh, so Kon was back to arguing, now. “I can at least help you get to him.”

“Also no. This isn’t going to be an easy mission. Ra’s is always hard to track down, more so when he knows we must be out for his blood. I’m good, but it’s still probably going to take me a while.” Jason gave Kon an unimpressed glare. “It’s pretty obvious Timmy already has a shitload of trauma and either doesn’t want to deal with us or thinks we don’t want to deal with him. People don’t exactly come out of that sort of experience with their self-worth and confidence boosted. Think about what it’s going to look like if his boyfriend runs off the moment it became obvious what exactly Ra’s did to him.”

Kon paled. “That’s — I didn’t even think —”

“No, you didn’t, which is why I’m telling you this now.” Jason shook his head. “He’s going to need all the support he can get, from you most of all. I don’t care how badly you want revenge, if you run off now, I fucking guarantee nobody in this family is letting you get back to him.”

“You really are being stubborn, I see.” Damian frowned. “Do you really think you can accomplish this on your own? It won’t be enough to simply deal a lethal wound. You’ll also have to make sure it sticks.”

“Luckily, I’ve got some thoughts on how to do that.” The Lazarus Pit could do a lot, but it couldn’t heal everything. Jason had plenty of ideas on how to get Ra’s to that point. “Though I could use some fast extraction once I’ve got him handled.”

“Just call for me.” Kon seemed less murderous now, at least, which was marginally better. “As long as you’re not surrounded by lead or too deep underground, I’ll hear you.”

“I’ll count on you, then.” Jason paused. “And I’m counting on you both to make sure nobody gets to the family while I’m away, yours or mine.” Which were perhaps connected, though he wasn’t ready to say that just yet.

“Just focus on your task, Todd, and leave us to ours.” Damian pinched his lips into a thin line. “Do you need us to cover your departure?”

“Nah. I already spoke with Roy, and I don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks as long as they don’t try to stop me.” He shook his head. “Just don’t let B find out before I’m out of reach, and I’ll be good from there.”

“You had better.” Kon gave him a serious look. “And call me if you need to get out, even if you’re not finished.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not about to let Ra’s get any more victories over us.” Perhaps, if things got bad enough, he might even do that. Only as a temporary measure, though.

He was not going to be able to face Tim as long as there was any chance that Ra’s might be breathing.

Chapter Text

“Well.” Doctor Mid-Nite crossed his arms over his chest, his expression grave. “I’m assuming none of you want the news sugarcoated.”

“Just tell us.” Bruce squeezed Tim’s arm, a light touch that still made his nerves act up in his already stressed state. They had given him a choice on who he wanted to accompany him for the conversation, if anyone. Tim hadn’t even considered being alone, wasn’t sure he could take in much information at all. So here he was, flanked by his father and oldest brother as he listened to what was essentially his doom.

“Very well.” The doctor sighed, indicating at some print-outs that had been pinned to a wall. Black and white and so much grey, images of what was inside him and shouldn’t have been. “Now, this, ah, addition is definitely magical in origin. From everything we can tell, it functions as a regular uterus, except rather than any ordinary linking structures it has set down… roots, I suppose would be the best description. At the moment, it is very firmly entangled with the body’s own circulatory and nervous system.”

Tim swallowed. “That… doesn’t sound good.”

He hadn’t really dared to hope for a disagreement, but the grim nod still took him by surprise somehow. “Indeed. Now, the good news is, there seems to be no reason to believe this is permanent. Without more ingestion of the potion, eventually both the uterus and its roots will atrophy away on their own.”

Dick lifted his eyebrows. “The bad news must be pretty bad for you to look so serious, then.”

“I’m afraid so.” He shook his head, his gaze directly on Tim. “The change is not permanent, but by Zatanna’s estimate it may take up to a year to disappear.” Which was long enough to carry a pregnancy to term. “Worse still, at the moment I can’t think of a safe way to terminate the pregnancy, especially since you are immunocompromised. Surgical removal of the uterus would likewise be very risky.”

“So, what?” Tim felt nauseous, and he was pretty sure this wasn’t morning sickness. “My only safe option is to — to have the baby?”

“I can’t even call it that. Pregnancy always carries its own risks, even without the complicating factors. It does seem like the least risky option at the moment, but that is only relative to the other avenues.” The doctor looked grim. “I wish I could give you an easy answer, but at the moment, there really isn’t one. You will just have to decide the level of risk you are willing to accept.”

“Thank you for your honesty.” Bruce’s voice was grave but steady. “Can you forward all this information to us?”

“Of course. I’ll be also reaching out to anyone who could possibly be of help. If anything new comes up, you’ll know immediately.” He gave Tim a sympathetic nod. “We’re doing everything we can. You have my word for it.”

“I can’t exactly ask for more.” Tim sighed but nodded.

“Let’s get you home for now, Baby Bird.” Dick squeezed his shoulder. “I think what you need right now is time and space to think.”

“Yeah, because those are famously in great supply at home.” Still, Tim managed to offer him a faint smile. He knew Dick was trying, it wasn’t his fault there was very little that could make any of this better.

Somehow Tim managed to keep things more or less together until they made it through the zeta tubes. Bruce must have told everyone to give them space, that was the only reason Tim could imagine for the Batcave to be empty on their arrival. Which was just as well, because Tim had very much reached the end of his rope, the last fragments of his resolve crumbling away.

“What do I do?” Tim clutched at Bruce’s hand a bit too hard, but his father didn’t flinch. He’d dealt with much worse, of course. “B, I don’t… I can’t…”

“I’m afraid that’s not something I can decide for you.” Bruce gave him a sad gaze. “We’ll do whatever you decide, Tim. No matter what.”

“But I don’t know.” Tim bit back a sob. “Please, B. Just tell me what to do. You always seem to know what’s best…”

“I’m sorry, Tim. I wish I could.” Bruce sighed, setting his other hand on Tim’s shoulder. “I — I want to say you should take the safest route, because I can’t bear the idea of losing you, I can’t lose another son. However, I know that would mean much more of a burden for you in other ways. After you already had so much agency stolen from you, I couldn’t blame you if you would rather take the greater risk.”

“We can make a list of all your options and get things down in as much detail as we can. Really get down to the data; that always helps you figure things out.” Dick gave him a smile that was missing some of its usual sunny energy but at least it was there. “You’re not dealing with this alone, Timmy. We’re in your corner, all of us. And I know like we can’t do much for you right now, but anything we can do, we will.”

“We will. No matter what happens.” Bruce’s voice was slightly rough. “We’ll find a way through this, Tim. I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Tim drew a deep breath. “I know you will try. That’s all I could ever ask for.” All anyone could ask for.

The odds were against him, but he wasn’t going down without a fight.

Chapter Text

“Ah, Mister Harper, Young Miss Lian.” Alfred paused at the doorway. “You seem to be in rather low spirits.”

“JayJay went on mission,” Lian informed him with a deep sigh. “It’s going to take a loooong time! But,” she added, perking up, “he’s gonna bring a teddy bear! From France!”

“France, hm? Is that where he is heading?” Alfred lifted his eyebrows, glancing at Roy.

“He’s going where he needs to.” Which might take a while to establish since he had to actually track down Ra’s, who no doubt knew he was being hunted. “But he did promise to pick up a French teddy bear as a souvenir.”

“Yep! So I’m gonna be good and wait.” Lian gave a determined nod.

“I’m sure you will, Young Miss.” Alfred nodded. “I rather thought he might take on a mission soon, but didn’t expect him to leave quite yet.”

“He didn’t want to let the track grow cold.” Roy blinked as something else occurred to him. “Ah. We’ll be out of your hair soon enough, don’t worry. We know you don’t need any more trouble around here.”

“Nonsense. The two of you are family; you are always welcome here, regardless of Master Jason’s presence.” Alfred stepped closer to give Lian’s hair a gentle ruffle, earning himself a giggle. “If anything, I rather think having a bit of innocent cheer could make this difficult time a little easier for all of us.”

“If you’re sure that would be all right, I guess we could stay.” He didn’t bother to ask if Bruce would be fine with it; he knew by now that Alfred made the final decisions around here. “It would be good to have other grown-ups around, with Jason being off for a bit.”

“Indeed. I do dare say you won’t have trouble finding willing child-minders. And if you are in need of something to do, there is always something to tinker with in the Cave. Though I must reiterate, you need not do anything to earn your place here,” Alfred added with a surprisingly sharp look. “You are family, and that is quite enough.”

“Thanks, Alfred.” Roy managed a smile. “You’re right though, I’ll probably need something to keep my hands busy soon enough.”

“Indeed. Whether you wish to work on your own projects or assist in gear upgrades, we will make it happen.” Alfred then sighed. “Though now that I have said that, I fear I did come here with a request to make.”

“You know I’m always happy to help.” Roy nodded. “What do you need?”

“I was wondering if I could trouble the two of you to take Master Tim his lunch. He is still not feeling too well, and I thought some friendly faces might be welcome.”

“Sure.” He suspected they were the least troublesome candidates; Lian obviously had no idea what was going on, and Roy’s presence probably didn’t feel quite as raw as Tim’s siblings. “Right, Lian? Want to go see if we can make Uncle Tim feel a bit better?”

“Yes!” Lian agreed fervently. “I’ll give Unca Tim tons of hugs!”

“We’ll see if he’s feeling up for that, okay? He’s still pretty hurt, I’m not sure if he can have hugs yet.” Or wanted to be touched at all, though he rather hoped Lian of all people wouldn’t remind him of his trauma.

Lian pouted but agreed, her disappointed soon forgotten as she all but skipped after Alfred, Roy trailing them both. As they got to the kitchen Alfred handed him a tray, then entrusted Lian with a little bowl of chopped fruit — carefully covered with cling film — to carry as well, causing her to beam with pride.

Roy let Lian lead the way to tim’s door, standing back when she set down the fruit bowl on the floor to free her hands for knocking. The response was quiet, but at least Tim wasn’t telling them to stay away, which was a definite improvement over just a few days ago.

“Hey Unca Tim!” It took Lian some maneuvering to open the door without knocking it into the bowl she’d set down, but she managed it, pushing her way into the room with her offering. Roy trailed after her with his tray. “We brought food!”

“Alfred thought you probably don’t feel up to coming out to eat, still,” Roy added, glancing around the room. It was a bit messy, but no more than one would expect from any teenage boy. The only true sign that Tim wasn’t feeling well was the fact his bed was unmade, Tim himself curled up on it with a laptop.

“Thank you.” Tim managed a small smile, accepting the fruit bowl from Lian with a nod. “Alfred shouldn’t fuss, though. If I didn’t show up, Kon would make sure I get fed.”

“As he should. Pro tip from an older bi guy: don’t bother with a man who won’t take care of you.” Glancing around, Roy spotted an empty enough area on Tim’s desk to set down the tray.

“…Kon is good for me.” Tim drew a deep breath. “Still is.”

“That’s because he’s a decent guy.” Roy shrugged. “Which is good for him, because I know for a fact your family has access to Kryptonite.” As Tim gave him an unimpressed look, Roy grinned. “What? I’ve been on the receiving end of a shovel talk or five, and I was Dick’s friend first. I know how your family gets when they’re protective.”

“And they’re all feeling even more so now, I bet,” Tim murmured. He peeled the cling film from his bowl, offering Lian an apple slice.

“That’s because they care about you. We all do,” Roy said firmly. He didn’t want the kid to think they pitied him or thought any less of him. “I know you might not feel like too much company right now,” he added with a soft tone. “However, if you do feel lonely, I’m sure anyone here would be happy to hang out with you. No questions if you don’t want them, but also, I guarantee everyone will listen if you need to talk.”

“Not sure if I’m ready to talk, honestly. Or to be around a lot of people for that matter. Kon… makes me feel safe, but it’s still not easy.”

“Whatever you need.” Roy nodded. “For the record, Lian and I are sticking around for the time being. So if you want some company that’s not quite so, well, bat-like, we’ll be here.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Tim paused. “…Thank you.”

“Hey, Alfred assured me we’re family. Pretty sure that goes both ways.” Roy smiled as Tim offered Lian another piece of fruit. “You’re not alone, I promise.”

They would not allow that.

Chapter Text

As miserable as the weather in Gotham was, it was a literal breath of fresh air after spending so long locked up in Ra’s’s lair.

Today was especially nice, with some hints of sunlight behind whisps of cloud. The weather wasn’t especially warm, but the hoodie and sweats he was wearing were more than enough to keep him comfortable as he wandered around the Manor garden. No doubt there were constant eyes tracking him from any of the numerous windows, but that was fine. Worried family and friends were quite different from uncaring guards, and they didn’t try to stop him aside from some gentle reminders about remembering his limits.

“Alfred thought you could use a snack.”

Well, gentle reminders and a bit of company. Not that he minded, really, when it was Kon.

“Alfred usually knows best.” He turned to give Kon a small smile. His lovely boyfriend was being terribly careful with him, which grated at a part of him, his insecure side dreading the no doubt inevitable moment when Kon decided he didn’t want to deal with all this. Another part of him argued that Kon wouldn’t do that, had seen him go through all sorts of horrible things already, and was still here.

“Good, because I was hoping we could have a little picnic.” Kon lifted a basket that looked like something out of a cartoon, no doubt packed by a very fussy Alfred. “All your favorite finger foods, and a fresh pie courtesy of Ma Kent.”

“I was already going to agree, you don’t have to bribe me.” As wonderful as Alfred was in the kitchen, nobody could match Ma’s pies. “Let’s go to the gazebo?”

Kon grinned, then stepped forward with one arm extended. No doubt he had planned to pick Tim up and carry him over, only to stop himself at the last moment. After a second’s hesitation, he took Tim’s hand instead, giving it a soft squeeze.

Tim felt the tingle of TTK crawling up his arm, not holding him back, just lingering. Reminding him Kon was there. That he was here, he was home, he could walk outside and eat Ma’s pie and nobody was going to stop him.

Kon led the way to the little gazebo Bruce had installed in the garden years ago, a compromise between young people who sometimes wanted to eat outdoors and Alfred who would have preferred they use a proper table. Said table was soon covered in food as Kon unloaded the basket. There were mini quiches, sliced vegetables arranged in a colorful spread on a platter, homemade chicken wings and bread sticks, fruit skewers and finally Ma’s pie. Blueberry, Tim noted with a satisfied little hum.

“Alfred’s really trying to get me to eat, huh?”

“Can’t blame him. If Ma saw you right now, she’d march over all the way from Kansas just to feed you herself.” Kon smiled, but his eyes were sad as he looked at Tim. “Don’t get me wrong, you’re beautiful no matter what. However, I’d really like to see you get stronger and healthier again.”

“…That’s going to take a while, though.” Regardless of what he decided, it would take him a long time to get back to his old level. If he ever did. Even a regular pregnancy could have permanent consequences on a body better suited for it, never mind all the dark magic and physical changes swirling through his system.

“I’ll be here the whole time. If you’ll have me.” Kon reached over to touch Tim’s hand. “…I love you. I’ll love you even if you never fully recover. Even if you never do heroics again, by choice or by circumstance. Even if you never get over the nightmares and trauma, even if you can never bear intimate touch again. No matter what, I’ll love you.”

“Kon.” Tim tried to blink tears out of his eyes. “I just… I don’t want you to feel like you’re stuck with me.”

“Good thing I’m here entirely by choice.” Kon shook his head. “But I know you bats, you only truly believe evidence. So, I’m just going to stick around so you can see it for yourself.”

“Please.” Tim could barely murmur, but that hardly mattered. Kon would hear him anyway. “I… I need you with me. At least a little bit longer.”

“As long as you’ll have me.” Kon offered him a small smile. “Now, let’s eat, hm? Wouldn’t want all this lovely food to go to waste.”

“I’ll do my best, at least.”

Chapter Text

Bart was doing his best not to vibrate out of his skin.

Not that he could actually do that, of course. His speedster physiology meant that his body was immune to the effects of his own speeding, which was very useful when he wanted not to burst into flames from the sheer friction of air particles. However, he certainly felt like he was about to fall apart as he stood next to Cassie, waiting to get the clear to head into the zetas.

They’d hardly seen Tim since the whole rescue operation, and even Kon had only stopped by a couple of times to keep them updated. Not that they blamed either of them, of course. With what little they had heard of what Tim was going through it would’ve been perfectly understandable if he never wanted to be around anyone again. Except that couldn’t be allowed, people needed to be around other people and Tim in particular needed lots of attention and affection or he might get stupid thoughts like “nobody loves me” or some other nonsense. All that to say, Bart was glad they’d been okayed for a visit because he was losing the battle against the urge to run over just to hug the living daylights off Tim.

As soon as they got the text that the bats were ready for an invasion (Bart knew someone had said that just to tease but joke’s on them, they were totally capable of invading a city or a small to moderate size nation without backup) he was off, inserting the coordinates to the zeta tube as fast as the machine could process inputs. Cassie looked amused but so what. Bart knew she’d be right behind him anyway.

The moment he stepped out into the Batcave Bart scanned his surroundings, making a beeline for his friends the moment he saw Tim and Kon standing close by. He stopped himself just short of tackling Tim, spreading his arms in a question. After a moment’s hesitation that went on far too long in a speedster’s mind Tim finally stepped forward, allowing Bart to hug him properly.

“I know you’re probably feeling shitty and that’s okay we’ll be here even if you’re being grumpy no matter how long it takes and even if you never feel all the way better you’re still our Rob and we’ll be in your corner no matter what even if you decide to go all villain on us.” He paused, drawing a breath. “Also that Ra’s creep is lucky Hood called dibs because I know at least a dozen ways to kill someone real slow and for you I’d totally make the effort not to rush.”

Tim gave a half chuckle, half sob, his arms clutching at Bart. “What is it with you people arguing over who gets to murder him?”

“Well, we’d offer to let you have the honors, but we don’t want you to go anywhere near him ever again even with backup.” See, Cassie even agreed, clearly it was all fine. She was their common sense, like, at least 47 percent of the time. Given there were four of them, that was a damn good rate. “You’re looking less crappy, by the way. Good. Means the bats and Kon are doing something right.”

“I mean, we always knew Kon would take care of you, he’s a good guy and really loves you and you’d better remember that, and your family are way better than they were before but we’re also your family and we wanna help you and be here for you and do anything we can.”

“What he said.” Cassie ruffled Tim’s hair. “Now, that probably took up all your emotional bandwidth for the day, being a bat and all. How about we head upstairs and we kick your ass at some videogames to take your mind off things?”

Cassie, Bart decided, was a genius.

Chapter Text

“Timothy.” Damian nodded at his brother. “I appreciate you taking the time.” See, Richard? Damian was doing great at this whole communicating his feelings thing.

“Sure. Not like I’m very busy these days.” Tim sat down opposite him at the briefing table in the Cave. “What did you need?”

“In fact, I wished to address some of the issues that you are not currently busy with.” Damian set down a tablet, handing it over to Tim with the relevant files already open. “When we finally realized your absence, we distributed your active cases among the rest of the team. Most of them have been wrapped up by now, but a couple are still open in some capacity, and some others have given reason for follow up action. All this is detailed in the documents I have presented to you.”

“I see.” Tim tapped through the various files, eyes on the tablet. “So, you want me to take them over again?”

“If that is what you wish. As you can see, we have been able to handle them in your absence. However, I am aware you are often reluctant to delegate your cases to others. If you feel up to it, I’m sure nobody would protest at you taking them back, at least in as much as it is possible without going out in the field.”

“I — think I’d like that.” Tim gave him a wan smile. “I know I’m in no condition to go out there, won’t be for a while no matter what, but sitting around with nothing to do will make me go even more crazy.”

“To absolutely nobody’s surprise.” That earned him an amused huff, which Damian considered a victory. “I have also elected to list a few current cases that can either be entirely handled off the field or which could significantly benefit from some behind the scenes work, as well as a randomly picked selection of cold cases for your perusal. Of course, all of this is only presented in the case that you truly want to work on something. If you would prefer to focus on your recovery, that would be more than acceptable.” Damian certainly wouldn’t blame him for deciding to step back either temporarily or long term. After all, Grandfather had done his best to break Tim both mentally and physically.

“I know. Like I said, I think I really need something to do.” This time Tim’s smile was slightly more genuine. “Thank you. I appreciate this.”

“I have also included details on how we have shifted current patrol routes and schedules to cover your absence as well as provide background support for Hood’s lieutenants while he is away. If you have any adjustments to suggest, I’m certain they can be taken into account.”

“Thanks.” Tim gave him a scrutinizing look. “…You really have grown up, you know.”

“I like to think so, yes.” For one thing, just a few years ago he would have taken such a comment as an insult, irate at the mere suggestion that he hadn’t been perfect before. “Timothy. I have hurt you before, many times. Even so, you have chosen to trust me. I do not take that lightly, nor do I have any intention of proving myself unworthy of it.”

“I know.” Tim’s voice softened. “You are a good brother, and a good Robin. And while Dick’s had a hand in helping you become that, the one who did all the hard work is you. I’m proud of you, Damian. We all are.”

“Tt. Of course. I am an excellent Robin.” Damian frowned. “I know I cannot change my past actions. Even if I could, it would change who I am now. However, that doesn’t change the fact that I do regret the pain I have caused for you in the past.”

“And that just proves you’ve become better.” Tim gave him a serious look. “We all have our regrets. Choosing to do better now is what matters.”

“I certainly endeavor to do so.” After all, Tim was his brother, for all that he had once struggled against that idea. “Again, only work on cases if that is what you want. You are an important part of the team,” again, something he had not wanted to admit for the longest time, “but your well-being is more important than your contribution.”

The sight of Tim’s smile, tired but genuine, was not something he could ever regret.

Chapter Text

“You’ve been quiet.” As Tim lifted an eyebrow at Kon, he got a faint smile in return. “A different kind of quiet than you have been lately. The kind that means you’re turning something over in that big brain of yours.” He poked Tim in the temple, which was rather easy considering they were curled up on a couch together. The living room was empty save for the two of them, though they were both all too aware of various Manor residents peeking in from time to time as though to make sure Tim was still there.

“Right.” Tim sighed. “I’ve just been… thinking. About what I’m going to do.” He didn’t bother to clarify what about, since that was obvious.

“Would it help to talk it out?” Kon gave him a sympathetic glance. “I’ll be very happy to cuddle you and nod at roughly appropriate points and not give any input unless asked for.”

“I know. You’ve only said like a hundred times that you’ll support me no matter what I decide.” Which was very much appreciated, but also didn’t help Tim make decisions. “I guess it couldn’t hurt. Better than getting caught up in my head even further.”

“Agreed. Not that I don’t adore your pretty head, but you’ve been mulling this over for a while, now.” Kon gave him a gentle tug until Tim fell against his side, a strong arm reaching around his shoulders. “So. Are you still deciding between going along with the pregnancy or trying to put a stop to it? Or the details thereof?”

“Both, kind of.” Tim sighed. “As much as I want to just get rid of it and forget this whole mess, there’s no way around the risks. Even with all of Bruce’s resources, my chances of getting through it without complications or permanent effects are very slim.” Would have been slim even in his best condition, and after his time in Ra’s’s hands, he was far from that.

“And while having the baby also has its risks, it’s probably going to be less terrible for you in the long run. Physically, at least.” He felt more than saw Kon nodding. A slight tingle of TTK was sliding down Tim’s body, an invisible embrace that he very much appreciated.

“Right. Except with the other option, it’s not just going to be me who’s affected.” Tim couldn’t help the hand sliding down to touch his stomach. “If I go through with it, and nothing goes terribly wrong, there’ll be a baby. An actual, living human being, and I’m going to be the only parent it has.” After all, however long Ra’s had managed to survive so far, Tim had no doubt Jason would put an end to his life for this.

“You sound like that part troubles you more than Ra’s being the other contributor.”

“Well, yeah. I know Ra’s is never going to get near the kid.” Tim sighed. “Me, though? I would make a terrible parent. My best example of competent parenting is Bruce, and that’s setting the bar pretty low.” Sure, he was doing better, but that was after years and years of various failures. “The only thing I’ve learned from my parents is that I’d never want any child of mine to feel lonely or neglected. Except I have no idea how to be there for a child, I never saw that from my end. And that’s even without getting into the obvious question of whether I could love the baby without letting my feelings about its conception ruin everything.”

“And giving up the baby is not an option, because even with Ra’s gone, his child would forever be a tempting target for the League.” Of course. For all that Kon liked to tease Tim about his brain, he wasn’t dumb, either.

“Not that I would want to do that, anyway.” Tim was quiet for a moment, trying to organize his thoughts into something that would make sense when put into words. “…I’m pretty sure my parents never wanted children. I was born because it was expected of them, and to provide them with an heir. I often wondered if they wouldn’t have been happier if I hadn’t been there.” He drew a deep breath. “With how much time I spent believing they would rather not have had me, how could I bring a child into the world only to give them away? Wouldn’t that just make me even worse than them? Sure, my parents were always travelling, but at least they acknowledged I was theirs.” Whenever they had remembered he existed, anyway.

“Is that your main concern, then?” Kon’s voice was soft, almost soothing. “If you have the child, you’d want to keep it, but you’re not sure if you can do that without messing up the parenting part?”

“Right.” Tim sighed. “And that’s assuming everything goes as well as it can, without medical or magical complications or injuries or whatever.”

“Except the risk of that is even higher in your other option.” Kon hummed in thought. “Do you want my thoughts on the matter? It’s totally fine if you’d rather not. I did promise no input unless you want it.”

“Please.” Tim grimaced. “I’ve been going in circles about this for ages. You know I’m going to overanalyze everything anyway, but I feel like I’m even deeper in the weeds with this than usual.”

“To be fair, it’s also more serious than most things.” Kon held him just a bit closer. “So, you know I didn’t exactly have a childhood. I’m not saying I’m entirely clueless on parenting; I’ve got Ma and Pa as good examples, and then there’s the extremely awkward efforts of Clark and Lex trying to outdo each other out of spite. Still, everything I know about small children or how they should be raised is very much based on outside observation.”

Tim gave a wordless nod. It wasn’t like he could really deny any of that.

“The thing is, even with all that I’ve never thought I couldn’t be a parent. If anything, it just makes me all the more determined to give some kid the childhood I never had if I get the chance. I know I won’t be the best dad ever, but I’m damn well going to try my hardest.” He pressed a feather-light kiss to Tim’s hair. “And the reason I know that is that I’ve never even imagined doing it on my own. ”

“Kon…” Tim swallowed. The implications of that were heavy on his shoulders.

“I’d like to say I know you pretty well at this point.” Well, Tim wasn’t going to argue with that claim. “And that’s why I’m going to say that you’d be a great father. I would, too. Because when we’re together, there’s nothing we can’t do.”

“I don’t want to drag you down with me.” He never would.

“For such a smart guy, you’re being awfully stupid right now.” Kon’s tone was nothing but fond. “You’re not doing this alone, no matter what you decide. If you don’t want to do this, okay. We’ll deal with it, risks and all. If you want to give it a try, great. We’ll be the best dads that baby could hope for, because we want to do better than we got and we care enough to learn how.”

“You really think so?” Tim gave him a sideways glance. “What if we mess up?”

“Of course we’ll mess up. Everyone does. But whether it’s this baby or another child we might get some day, we’re not going to abuse them or leave them alone or try to turn them into assassins or villains. Anything else we can work through.”

“…I want to believe you.” Tim closed his eyes, leaning into Kon’s side. “I really, really do.”

If he couldn’t believe in himself, maybe he could manage that at least.

Chapter Text

“Thank you for doing this, Leslie.” Tim gave her a smile from where he was sitting on one of the medbay beds. He knew Kon and Bruce were both lurking outside, ready to come to his support if needed. As much as a part of him hated having them involved with this whole mess, he was also grateful for the fact that they insisted on being part of it.

“Just so we are clear, I only agreed because I know you have access to specialists whenever you need it.” Leslie gave him a serious look, but it was also soft. “I’m not an expert even in ordinary pregnancy care, and this is in no way ordinary. All I’m going to do is keep an eye on any changes to hopefully catch any problems before they get out of hand.”

“I know, and I already have regular appointments scheduled at the Watchtower. Having you here is mostly for Bruce’s peace of mind.”

“I’m sure he’s not the only one who is worried.” Leslie shook her head. “Now, to start off I’m going to do a regular checkup to see where we are. Height, weight, blood pressure, basic bloodwork. I know Alfred will have already done all that, but I suspect he’d appreciate me double-checking, and I do like to have my own records.”

“That sounds good.” It was pretty much the reason they had asked Leslie to be there; for all his skills, Alfred liked to remind them that he wasn’t actually a doctor, and he got even more fussy whenever something out of ordinary was going on. Besides, while it may not have been her expertise, Leslie had certainly handled plenty of pregnant patients at her clinic and had more of an idea of what could be expected.

Without further ado, Leslie got started on all the measurements she needed to do. “Have you noticed any symptoms yet?”

“Not really?” Tim gave an awkward shrug. “I mean, I’m tired all the time and my appetite is still poor, but I’m not sure if that’s due to the pregnancy or just the after-effects of everything else I’ve been through.”

“It could be both, given everything. Is it a lack of appetite, or are you feeling nauseous?”

“No nausea at least yet. I trust that if and when that does hit, Alfred will have all sorts of tricks for finding things I can manage to eat. He’s already working hard to make food I actually end up eating even when I’m not feeling like it.”

“And no doubt everyone else is helping by reminding you to do so.” Leslie snorted, knowing the bat family all too well. “Well, your blood pressure is normal for this stage. Your weight is below what we’d like it to be, unsurprisingly, but it sounds like you have people working on it.”

“Yeah, being chained out for weeks can do that.” It was his trauma, he was allowed make light of it. “I didn’t exactly have extra weight to lose, either, so it’s all muscle.”

“Which makes it all the more important that we get it back up.” Leslie tutted. “Now, I hope I don’t have to tell you that you can’t go back to your usual training schedule even if you’ve dropped the actual roof hopping for the time being.”

“Oh, I know. Not that I physically could even if I wanted to.” Not with his diminished strength and stamina. “Regular levels of exercise should be fine, though, right?”

“As long as you’re not pushing yourself and paying attention to any warning signs, that should be fine. However, do keep in mind that not only does regular pregnancy put a burden on the body, we have no idea how the magical side of things will affect you.” Leslie gave him an unimpressed look. “Also, I want you to get an outside perspective on what counts as regular level of exercise. I don’t think anyone in your social circle has a proper idea of what is normal.”

“I’m not even going to argue.” Tim sighed. “I know I won’t be back to my usual condition in a while. I just don’t want to start from zero after the baby is here.”

“I know, and I do recommend staying in shape as much as you can. Just don’t overdo it.” Her gaze was even sharper, now. “If you were a normal person, I would tell you to do what you comfortably can. However, I know that your idea of what’s normal and what’s comfortable are rather out of sync with most people. Therefore, I want you to consciously take it easy. Your body is working hard enough as it is. If you push yourself too much, you might end up doing permanent damage.”

“To be fair, this whole situation is already risking permanent damage.” Still, he knew she had a point. “Don’t worry. I have plenty of people making sure I don’t push myself too much, including a boyfriend who can literally hear my heart rate.”

“Good. If they all work together, they might actually have a chance of matching your stubbornness.” This time he was the one giving her an unimpressed look only to get entirely ignored. “Now, let’s talk about your immune system.”

Of course, even a so-called basic checkup couldn’t be easy.

Chapter Text

“Well, everyone’s here.” Dick glanced around the room at the various family members, then looked over at Tim. “Now, I’m guessing you have news for us?”

“Right.” Tim drew a deep breath, meeting Bruce’s eyes across the room. Bruce gave him an encouraging nod, and Kon gave his hand a squeeze. “So. I’ve made a decision on what to do about this whole, well, situation.” He waved his free hand to indicate his midsection. “After considering all the alternatives and weighing the risks… I’m not going to try to get rid of the pregnancy. We’ll see where things go, and hopefully end up with a healthy baby.” It didn’t feel like much of a choice, not with how great the risks were either way, but at least he’d made a decision.

“Are you planning on keeping the child?” Steph gave him a sharp look. No doubt she was thinking about her own decision. While Tim knew she didn’t regret her choices, it was inevitable that the matter would be on her mind.

“It’s the only safe option, whether Ra’s is around or not. Besides, it’s my baby, too.” And he wasn’t going to give up his own child. “And before you ask, Kon’s totally on board. We’re doing this as a team.” He gave Kon a soft look, receiving another squeeze of his hand in response.

“Also, I’m going to move in.” Kon scoffed as this gained him several Bat-Looks. “Yeah, I’ve been spending most of my time here anyway, but we’re making it official. I’m not going to be Superboy in Gotham unless I’m specifically asked to, but other than that I’ll be here for Tim.”

“And your presence will certainly be appreciated, Master Conner.” And if anyone had any doubts about Alfred’s approval, the fact he was calling Kon by his first name would have banished any such thoughts. Which also meant that in the unlikely case anyone else had disapproved it would not matter. Alfred’s word was final. “I am gratified to see that Master Tim has not made a mistake in his choice of a partner.”

“Indeed.” Damian clicked his tongue. “I do hope you don’t make him regret his choice in the future, either.” His eyes promised pain if that were to happen, half-Kryptonian or not.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got no intention of hurting Tim. I mean, I was always in for the long haul, this is just a good reason to move forward with things.” Kon gave Tim a little grin. “Besides, I knew I was getting involved with a bat, an unexpected kid was always a possibility.”

“Hey, that’s still just Bruce!” Dick protested. As Kon nodded at the smirking Roy, he very nearly pouted. “Lian doesn’t count, Roy’s the one who brought her into Jason’s life, not the other way around.”

“Oh, please. We all know one day he’ll bring home a kid he picked up somewhere.” At Dick’s betrayed look, Roy shrugged. “What? I knew what I was getting into, too. And so did Wally, I’m sure.”

“Sorry babe, but he’s not wrong.” Wally patted Dick’s shoulder with a sympathetic smile. He then looked up at Tim and Kon. “In any case, thanks for including me in the announcement. Obviously, we’re all in your corner, no matter what you need.”

Bruce cleared his throat. “Now, I know you said you’re not planning on doing heroics in Gotham, and the distance to Metropolis makes it quite possible for you to simply commute even while living here full time,” he said to Kon. “However, if you at any point do decide you would like to patrol Gotham on more than an emergency basis, perhaps when Tim returns to the field, we can make that happen.”

“Really?” Kon blinked. “I’d definitely be interested, at least on a part-time basis. Not right now, obviously, but eventually.”

“Obviously you would need some extra training on Gotham’s particular issues and rogues, but that can be arranged.” Bruce gave a small cough. “I, ah. May have already been preparing some training materials. I figured either yourself or Wally would end up moving to Gotham sooner or later, and while you’re both capable of quickly crossing considerable distances, I wanted to give you the option.”

Dick gave a wordless sound that Tim found himself echoing. Bruce had always been better at showing his feelings through actions than words, and this spoke loud and clear. Preparing training material so their meta partners could work in Gotham if they wanted? From Bruce, the master of paranoia, that was the deepest sort of blessing. Judging by the way Kon reached a soft tingle of TTK up Tim’s arm he knew that as well.

Tim still felt like he’d been cornered, forced to make the least terrible choice, but with all this help he might actually be able to get through.