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Chapter Text

Prologue : 

I Have To Marry You

There always came a time in a woman's life when she had to take the bull by the horns. Charge forward, head first into unknown waters because that was the only solution to the problems life had thrown at her. Im Sol felt the familiar frustration and resentment creep up as her thoughts veered to the current predicament she was faced with.

MARRIAGE!

Yes capital letter, big bold highlighted word that flashed on the screen of her life in neon lights.

Apparently it wasn't enough for her mother and grandmother that as the successful CEO of the family business, she had doubled in fact tripled their company's net worth in the last ten years. She was now expected to get married if she wished to get her contract renewed as the CEO.

The whole thing was preposterous and moronic and she had made her sentiments clear at dinner last night. So naturally as a result she had been banned from the family dinners and her company until she agreed to sacrifice herself on the altar of matrimony. And that too with none other than her father's best friend's son, Ryu Sunjae.

Ughhh that guy was literally the antithesis to who she was.

It was her father's dying wish on his deathbed, her halmeoni had let the water-works on full speed last night, dramatically announcing that her ungrateful grand daughter was hurting her son's soul.

She could vividly see through her diva granny's crocodile tears but her father's death had been a sore spot for her and hence the temperature at the dinner table had quickly turned hot.

Her father had been her best friend, her pillar of support and would always be the first man she had idolised but the fact that he was flawed in the worst way possible had shucked off the case of hero worship she had sported all through her childhood till she turned thirteen.

On her thirteenth birthday she suddenly developed the maturity and objectivity to see through the facade of perfect marriage of her parents. She saw the real reason for her mother's tears but before she could confront him, he died, succumbing to the injuries from a car accident just a few days later.

Overnight she lost the loving and loyal family she thought she had with affectionate parents, a jovial brother and a warm hearted grandmother. Replaced by a dead father, a powerless mother, an absent and disinterested brother and a stern and unrelenting grandmother.

Things in her family had literally taken the turn for the worse and at the impressionable age of thirteen she had realised she would soon have to step in as the family head. Hence she had begun working as an intern once she turned sixteen and from there had swiftly learned the ropes of the family business of hotels and real estate.

Im Sol shoved down the twinge and panic that grasped her throat like a noose. She immediately searched for the bottle of her prescribed pills. She rummaged through the drawer of her vanity and took the crutch in the form of a tablet that helped her maintain her control. No one knew that she took these pills. She couldn't afford for anyone to know in the first place because once they knew you weren't perfect they had the ammunition to destroy you.

She couldn't reveal her imperfections nor could she lean on anyone in her family because no one had been the same after her father's death. Her mother had a nervous breakdown and had retreated into a shell of a quiet and polite stranger. Her halmeoni had turned more stringent trying to maintain her authority and controlling every little move and decision of her grandchildren's lives and her brother had all together stopped caring.

And despite the fact that she was the only one working day and night to keep their enterprise afloat, her halmeoni still didn't trust her enough to relinquish control. The main company and shares were still in her grandmother's name and I'm Sol hadn't had any cause to fight against that until this ridiculous proposition of marriage to the one and only masterpiece, as her grandmother had put it to describe him, Ryu Sunjae.

She brushed down her wavy black hair and applied her strawberry red lipstick once her jittery nerves settled. In a black and white polka dot skirt suit she looked both professional and impressive. She was self aware enough to know if she dressed well she looked the part of the rich CEO boss woman. She fastened small butterfly black diamond earrings and her wrist watch and stepped into her white stilettos. She was obsessed with white shoes. Her closet was full of a dozen of those.

Once dressed she twisted halfway to peer for any flaws in her appearance and finding none she grabbed her handbag and strode out with a singular mission on her mind. Convince Ryu masterpiece Sunjae to sign a fake marriage contract with her till she had the keys to the kingdom she had worked diligently to save.

TTTTTTTTTTTTT

She turned a few eyes as she entered the main restaurant of their most famous hotel The Savant. Her heels clicked against the stone and porcelain tiles.

She went to a corner table. The concierge approached her and asked her if she would like to order. “Sa-jang-nim.” He recognized her well enough to address her by her title, “Would you like to order something?”

Sol gave him her courteous smile. “Thank you, Seo Jun. How is your daughter now?”

“Sa-jang-nim. She got discharged yesterday. She was really looking forward to seeing the fairy princess again. She calls you that now, after you visited her in the hospital last week. We are very thankful for your kindness. I'll pay back…”

Sol’s smile was more candid now, thinking about the concierge’s six year old daughter. The girl was such a precious little energy ball, even after being operated on for acute appendicitis, she just didn't sit still.

“Seo Jun, you don't have to do that.. I just need honest and hardworking people like you in our hotel… and please don't embarrass me by thanking me. Oh and I'll have my usual coffee only please.”

“Ye, Sa-jang-nim.” He bowed slightly and then left.

She glanced at her wrist watch and let out an audible sigh. She should've expected tardiness out of a flippant and frivolous individual like him. She wondered what he really looked like, it had been a few years since they had last met. If he looked like his tabloid photos then he surely was handsome. There was a time their families were practically one but that had altered too with her father's death.

She didn't exactly know the real reason Mr Ryu Geon-deok had distanced himself from her family to a certain extent but she guessed it had something to do with her father not being alive anymore.

She glanced down at her watch again. She didn't like waiting for anyone or anything, it wasn't that she was impatient, she just abhorred wasting time and he had just wasted fifteen minutes of her precious time.

TTTTTTTTTTT

He stood a few feet away and took in her appearance. Her coal black hair cascading in waves down her back and her astute wise coffee ground eyes were scanning the restaurant hallway for him. It gave him a sick pleasure to know that she was looking and waiting for him.

He had seen her three years ago at some inauguration event for another branch of one of their hotel adjacent enterprises. He leisurely sauntered towards her table knowing her well enough to predict that she would complain about him being late before she even greeted him.

He stopped at her table. She gazed up and the hint of displeasure that flashed in her eyes made him smile, not because he enjoyed annoying her but because he had been so on point about her.

“You're late.” She stood up.

Manners, her immaculate manners, irritated him even though he chuckled at the initial words that flew out of her mouth.

“I'm sorry.” He was still sniggering when she added, “Late and rude. Nice to see you haven't changed, Sunjae-nim.”

It was his turn to get miffed. He knew what she thought of him and it had always been something he had unknowingly struggled with. “I won't say the same because it is highly unpleasant to see you haven't changed at all.” Then just to that spark of anger in her eyes again he shifted behind her and pulled her chair back, and waited for her to sit on it.

Ass, he was nettling her on purpose.

She couldn't school the ire that flickered in her eyes but he admired her control when she didn't respond. Quietly she sat down. He leaned closer as he pushed her chair. It was lavender and something exotic, the scent she was wearing and somehow it suited her perfectly.

He circled around and sat on the chair across from her.

“If you think we have adequately exchanged insults I would like to get down to business.” With reluctance, Im Sol noticed the magazine photos didn't do him justice. In his short denim jacket, white shirt and brown slacks he looked rather dashing and polished. The metal chain with the infinity pendant would have looked tacky on anyone else but suited him just fine as the adventurous and over zealous heir of Ryu Geon-deok.

“What if I say it's not adequate yet?” He tilted his head. Never had he seen a businesswoman look intimidating while wearing polka dots.

“Then I give you thirty seconds to express whatever animosity you feel so we can actually get on with the real agenda of this meeting.” She placed her neatly manicured hands over the table and made him feel like a fool with her answering remark.

He scoffed even though he didn't want to, it seemed she had more social etiquette than him. He extended his hand as if gesturing her to go on with her “agenda.”

She lifted a brow and then continued, “You might have an inkling why I called you here?” It was always such a feat to talk to him. With his unnecessary frankness for some unknown reason, she was always on edge around him.

They had once been somewhat close as kids but both of them had outgrown the friendship they had shared over the years.

“If you've called me here to tell me you won't marry me then you just wasted your valuable time, Sangsognyeo.” He looked away, getting more annoyed by the minute. “I know you'd rather eat bugs than marry me even if we were playing house.”

Of course he didn't want to marry her but at the same time he wasn't someone who relished hearing her enlist his less attractive attributes, the way she had the last time they had met at her business event.

“Oh come on. We were ten and you kept bringing Jessica flowers. I know you wanted to be her husband when we were playing house at the Summer camp. I just took the initiative so you won't have to be all nice about it and reject me.” She smiled. The foolish memory brought back a time when everything was alright in her world.

Her expressions softened and hence letting go of his indignation he leaned forward. With mischief in his eyes he muttered, “Were you jealous?”

He was too close, feeling an unusual hum inside her tummy, she leaned back. It wouldn't be prudent to be attracted to him considering why she had called him here in the first place.

“What does it matter now?” She flicked back her hair. It was meant to soothe the sudden burst of allure she felt for him but he construed it as haughtiness.

“It didn't matter then and it doesn't matter now.”
Her gaze zeroed in on his, when he answered her.

“Good.” She swallowed the tiny prick she felt. “Shall we continue then?”

“Continue what?” He looked up when the waiter showed up with a black coffee.

“Sa-jang-nim. Your coffee with honey and cinnamon.” He smiled and she thanked him. “Thank you Seo Jun. Would you like to order anything?” She asked Sunjae and he shook his head.

“You still drink the sugary sand water?” Sunjae asked, when the waiter left, contorting his mouth as if he was actually tasting sand.

“Just because you think it tastes like sugary sand doesn't mean it is. So I was saying how would you feel if we did get married?” She saw his eyes widen. “You must be shocked?”

“And contemplating if you are in your right mind.” Sunjae added. “I am glad I didn't order your sand coffee or it would have been currently adorning your very pretty dress.”

The unintentional compliment jarred her a little. “Look I know it's sudden…”

“Very. Is this some joke? You really want to marry me?” Why did he feel an alien spurt of joy?

“Sunjae-nim, please don't flatter yourself. I don't want to marry you. I have to marry you. There is a difference.” His eyes were always very intriguing as if they able to glimpse at the secrets she had buried deep in her soul.

“See words are coming out of your mouth but they are not making any sense. It's playhouse all over again you said you didn't want to marry me but you cried about it later on.”

“Who told you that?” She felt her composure slip. He wasn't supposed to know that. But the weirder part was she was getting agitated about something that happened some nineteen years ago.

“I'll tell you if you tell me if you really wanted to marry me or not when we were ten?” He was having fun now. It was a rare sight to see her lose her cool and he found that he liked it very much.

“Don't be juvenile.”

“Do you always evade answering stuff that makes you uncomfortable by using petty insults?” His smirk told her he was enjoying rattling her.

“Sometimes. But I am not here to hash insignificant childhood memories. I am here to offer you a proposition.” She leaned down and lifted a file from beneath her handbag and placed it in front of him.

The word insignificant didn't sit well with him but he didn't have time to analyse it as he became curious about the nature of her proposition.

He leafed through it and closed it. She waited for him to say something when he didn't she raised a brow.

“So?”

“Sangsognyeo. Don't you think I deserve a traditional sappy proposal?”

She scoffed and looked sideways for a second. “No. Because it'll be a fake marriage until I get my company back.”

“There's nothing in it for me why should I marry you and ruin my life?” He wanted to see that flare of emotion in her eyes again.

“Are you trying to piss me off by purposely being naive and asking stupid questions?”

He leaned closer and smiled again, “Yes.”

She ignored the heat she felt in her belly again.
“You know very well us continuing to have a career we have both worked our asses off for is contingent upon this marriage. Samchun Geon-deok won't let you put a step in your own office if you don't marry me. So why not give them what they want and get what we want in return?”

She looked so cute, looking so pleased with herself. But Sangsognyeo Im Sol didn't have the slightest clue what her halmeoni actually wanted and right this instant he decided he didn't want to shatter that moment of self satisfaction he saw on her face. He would do what her halmeoni had suggested him to do because for the first time in a long time he saw that her smile reached her eyes and he wanted to see more of this smile.

She extended her hand. “What do you say? Do we have a deal?”

He took her hand, and hadn't counted on the ripple that coursed through him. Unaware she kept staring at him to answer. “Deal. But I won't bear any responsibility if you fall in love with me.”

She laughed out loud then. “Oh don't worry I won't cry this time if you actually married someone else.”

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

(NINETEEN YEARS AGO)

(SUMMER CAMP, IN US)

He plucked a bunch of random yellow and pink flowers. Pink because Jessica had specifically said she wanted pink and yellow because it was the same colour as Im Sol's frock. She had told him if he brought flowers for her only then she would let him marry Im Sol while playing house.

Playing house was dumb and girlie. Sunjae didn't know who had made Jessica their leader but today all of his friends were siding with Jessica and she had decided that they would first play house and then they could all play basketball. She had also asked him to be the husband today, yuck but he had told her if would be the husband then he wanted Im Sol to be his wife.

He liked it when she smiled at him and she was always very nice to him. So he grabbed half squished branches and ran towards the cabin they were staying at. He opened the door and shoved the pink flowers towards Jessica. She smiled and flicked back her golden brown curls, “Thank you Sunjae. They are so pretty.”

The rest of the girls gathered around them and the boys started laughing and make fun of him. However he couldn't find Im Sol anywhere. “Sol doesn't want to be your wife. So we can get married.” Jessica curled her arm around his.

“No.” He shrugged his arm away and ran out of the cabin to look for her, a few yellow petals fell on the ground. She was playing on the swings. He immediately went to her.

“Im Sol!” He was out of breath when he reached her and half of the yellow flowers were petal-less now.

She got off the swing she was slowly rocking and stood in front of him.

“Let's go play house. You can be my wife.”

She pushed him away, an angry pout studded on her baby face. “I will eat bugs but I will never marry you.”

He was feeling very embarrassed and upset. “I don't want to marry you either.” He threw away the remaining yellow flowers on the ground and ran away thinking two things one he was right playing house was dumb and girlie anyway and two he would never ever marry Im Sol even if she asked him a hundred times.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Chapter Text

Chapter 2

I have to protect you

He took her hand, and hadn't counted on the ripple that coursed through him. Unaware she kept staring at him, waiting for him to answer. “Deal. But I won't bear any responsibility if you fall in love with me.”

She laughed out loud then. “Oh don't worry I won't cry this time if you actually marry someone else.”

He stood up and she followed suit.

“It's good that you agreed to my proposition but I would still like you to read the agreement and sign it.” Im Sol suggested, her meticulousness in business matters took over.

“I don't believe there is any need for that. This seems pretty standard to me.

Party A (Im Sol) shall enter into an arranged marriage contract with party B
(Ryu Sunjae).
Party A shall remain married to party B until both assume control of their respective companies.
However a special clause remains if one or both want the contract null for any untoward situation in the future in such an event the contract can be revisited in the presence of a mediator.

Looks very sensible, especially the last clause. You never know if you develop rage issues or God forbid become an acute case of bridezilla and I might have to run for my life.” He quipped, jesting in good spirits.

“Bridezilla? You think we should have a proper wedding?” She tucked one loose strand of her silky hair behind her ear, not responding to his intentional provocation. She didn't want him to change his mind.

“You don't want a traditional wedding?” He asked putting his hands in his pocket to subdue the urge to tuck that loose strand she had just righted.

She let out a tiny scoff, “We are not really getting married.”

“But we do need to convince our families, don't we?” Sunjae noted she kept looking at her watch.

“Sure. Okay we can discuss that later. I'll ask my secretary to schedule another meeting with you. I'm sorry I have to be somewhere in half an hour and with the Seoul traffic I don't want to be late.”

“Tell me one thing. You have never been late to a professional commitment have you?” The way he asked her instantly made her defensive.

“No. That's not true… I..I..was once late… Why am I defending myself for being punctual? If anything you should justify yourself for being late.” The curled upper lip demonstrated her pique causing him to laugh out loud. “What? It's not funny, you know.”

He lifted his hands in surrender. “No it's not and I am not making fun of you. Just a thought that popped in my head.”

She slung her handbag around her right shoulder just because she felt foolish standing chit chatting and not doing anything. “Remind me to discuss a specific clause regarding the random thought-pops appearing in your head when we meet next time.”

“Ye Sangsognyeo.” He exaggeratedly bowed and she rolled her eyes and strode away.

He laughed at the knowledge that under any other circumstances Im Sol would have never rolled her eyes. It didn't suit her stature and of the kind of woman she was but the fact that he had caused her cast off her flawless persona even if it was momentary, gave an odd pleasing kick to his heart.

“This will be one hell of a ride, Ryu Sunjae.” He murmured to himself and putting on his shades left the restaurant.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Bone weary Im Sol could not wait to get home and lie in her bed. The meeting with the international clients who wanted to do a documentary on top hotels in South Korea, where they wanted to feature five of Jang family's hotels, had entailed her taking them to tour all five of the hotels, today.

Some would argue she was just wasting her efforts and energies when her halmeoni was hellbent about the CEO decision being dependent upon her marriage.

But Im Sol still had one month left before the negotiation for the contract renewal. She had never been one to leave a task in the middle and she wasn't about to do that to her own business and company.

She padded through the grand foyer of the Jang family Mansion. For a little while the family name had been changed to her father's Im Ye Jun but after his death her halmeoni had decided to take back her father's name.

She knew little about what and how her halmeoni operated but she had once believed it had stemmed from a place of goodness and concern. But after her halmeoni’s recent relentless and draconian stance Im Sol wasn't even sure of her halmeoni's intentions.

The mansion was soundless and the grandfather's clock placed against the west wall had its big arm on 3 and the small on 11. Im Sol tried to tip toe in an attempt to avoid making a sound that might wake up anyone from her family.

Cautiously she took one step at a time still making sure that she didn't disturb her family and was almost on the middle step of the grand staircase when her halmeoni's voice punctured the eerie silence. “You missed dinner, Sol-li.”

Im Sol didn't want another ugly confrontation with her grandma after last night. She let out an inaudible sigh and turned with her briefcase in one hand and her heels in the other, and put them both down. Her halmeoni was standing at the base of the staircase. “You told me I wasn't welcome.”

“If I told you, you are a toad so go live in a pond, would you start doing that?”

Her halmeoni never had a straight answer for a simple conversation. Her friends had always loved her halmeoni for her dramatic flair and loud personality but for Im Sol it sometimes became a little too much to bear. Especially when she never appreciated Im Sol's efforts and kept pushing her limits.

“Does that mean I don't have to marry Ryu Sunjae too?” Im Sol tried to one up her eccentric grandma.

“I was talking about dinner. Was Ryu Sunjae your dinner?”

Im Sol felt a blush creep up her face. Her halmeoni’s double meaning statement was not lost on her so she simply covered her face to hide the mortification she felt.

“Why are you blushing? Just last night you were telling me that the mere idea of marrying Ryu Sunjae was repulsive and today you were having coffee with him at The Savant. Not so repulsive now that you met him, huh?”

Im Sol climbed down the stairs until she was on the same level as her father's mother. “Who told you that?”

She was fatigued and incensed now.

Sol saw her granny bristle. “You know one of my friends….”

“Save it halmeoni. You are now spying on me. What did you think I would do, that you asked one of your crazy sycophants to keep tabs on me?”

It infuriated and saddened her in equal measure. Im Sol could never understand why her grandmother couldn't comprehend that Sol only wanted the best for her family.

“Halmeoni I don't know what you are thinking but I would never do anything to harm this family.” The pain was acute, but Im Sol didn't have any tears to spare.

“Sol-li. I never ….”

“I won't let you treat me like this. I won't give up my company and for that I am even willing to marry Ryu Sunjae.”

Panicked, her grandma immediately interrupted, “Sol-li I just want you to be happy.”

“Is that why you want me to marry a guy who I am extremely incompatible with?”

With regret Jang Mal-ja noted how her granddaughter didn't talk about not being in love as not being a reason to not marry Sunjae.

“Sol-li. Sunjae was your friend and…”

“Yeah when we were kids. Now……Please halmeoni just…” she pinched the bridge of her nose not having the energy to get into another verbal duel she continued, “I can't do this anymore. I have to be at the site for the new resort tomorrow.” With that Im Sol left with her halmeoni still standing at the bottom of the stairs.

TTTTTTTTTTTTT

She shut her room door and leaned against it for a second. She shouldn't have aggravated her grandma, specifically announcing her marriage to Sunjae like that. What if she mandated that they were to remain married or worse, sicced one of her spies on her again to unearth the reality of this union?

Im Sol facepalmed herself internally and then went to her closet to put her briefcase and documents in the drawer. After that she stashed away her heels.

She took off her suit jacket and sat down on the ottoman in front of her four poster bed. She swallowed one of the pills from the bottle in her bag to dispel the stress that threatened her sanity and took deep calming breaths. Once a little settled she began massaging her feet. Her cell phone rang and she took it out of her handbag.

She didn't recognize the caller ID and for a second debated if she should answer it but then thinking it might be something important she picked it up. “Hello. Who is this?”

The voice on the other end had her put a hand on her forehead. “Huuuhhh. I can't believe you don't recognize your husband to be.”

“Sunjae-nim,....”

“Sunjae.” He corrected wanting her to lose the Nim which she had no doubt added next to his name because to her this was strictly professional.

"I don't think there should be any formalities between us anymore, Yeobo.”

Im Sol rolled her eyes and just that instant he muttered, “Are you rolling your pretty eyes? I wish I was there to see it.”

Blushing at his compliment and feeling self conscious at his ability to predict her habitual eye rolling, Im Sol instantly sat up and stopped. “Sunjae-ssi…”

“Aren't you going to use an endearment for me just like I did for you? Since you like things in a systematic way, so I made a list of the names I would like you to use for me….” Sunjae didn't know why he was trying his utmost to irritate the heck out of her and on an instantaneous whim he had called her.

But the more perplexing thing was she was patiently listening to his odd ramblings.

“Wait a minute. Aren't you going to tell me to eff off in your superiorly elite and cold way where you pretend you're being courteous but it's actually really just disdain?” He inquired.

“No.” That small word made him smile when he heard her let out a breath.

“Why? Do you like hearing my voice?” He flopped down on his bed with one arm behind his head, expecting to hear a witty answer.

“Me indulging in your midnight musings has less to do with your voice and more to do with my own inability to crudely say no, unlike you, despite me knowing it would be more beneficial if I did, Sunjae-ssi.”

He laughed. “Wait. Wait. Let me break down your amazing piece of speech will you? I am a little slow.”

Im Sol smothered her own laugh. His brand of self deprecating humour was strangely adorable.

For a beat he waited as if making sense of her statement in his head, then began,“On second thought I give up it's just sophisticated Im Sol lingo to make me feel like a discourteous peasant. Isn't it?” He heard her sigh once more.

“Sunjae-ssi. What do you want?” She really was exhausted, so she put on her night suit and got into bed while holding the phone to her ear. As soon as her head hit the pillow she felt sleep take over.

“World peace, Healthy ozone layer, equal distribution of Earth's resources among the rich and the poor and….”

“I mean why did you call me….” There was a short pause, Im Sol yawned, covering her mouth, as she struggled to keep her eyes open. “At this hour.” She finished.

His phone call and his ridiculous antics had made her forget about the tension, that the clash she just had with her grandma had induced. As much as he was the exact polar opposite of who she was as a person, she didn't want to admit every conversation she had with him was very peculiarly both stimulating and relaxing.

“I called to ask you about our next meeting regarding our contract marriage and its shenanigans. My secretary couldn't reach yours so how about we go to this park? They have all these extreme sports.”

Im Sol was already half asleep so she only responded with an Ummmhmmm.

“Great, I'll pick you up at seven tomorrow.”

“Hmmm. Okay…sure.” Her voice was getting languorous. Was she actually falling asleep while listening to him talk? Gosh his voice was really soothing, strong and clear.

“Im Sol.” He called out her name, stunned by what he had heard her say and then he listened as her breathing became even.

How fatigued was she that she had gone out like a light? Did she even have dinner? He hoped she did. He was beginning to surmise why her halmeoni had approached him that way.

It was true that he had become more sensitive and compassionate after his mother's death but the intensity of this urge to protect Im Sol was something that astonished him. He put his cell phone down and feeling edgy headed for his studio.

It wasn't a secret that he drew, sometimes when inspiration struck he doodled. Today his fingers itched to draw something with colour. He took out his oil paints. After roughly sketching a profile he began filling in the colour in the background of the faceless woman standing alone. He needed to give that lonely woman a world of contrasting colours. There was a covert strength and an overt vulnerability that he wanted to display in her.

Once he painted a yellow sunny sky and green grassy meadow with an assortment of multicoloured flowers he felt that edginess dissipate. It was a simple and lively scene.

Satisfied he covered the canvas and realised it was almost four in the morning which meant he had only two-ish hours to sleep before he had to go see his fiance. He smiled when his thoughts circled in her direction. For a brief fraction of a minute he felt somewhat guilty for hiding his deal with her halmeoni but after last night's conversation he was convinced that it had to be done, for Im Sol's own sake.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Im Sol entered the construction area of The New Savant Resort and Spa. Her secretary walked behind her as she surveyed the site. The supervisor and the contractor Mr Lee Kwangsun immediately approached her when he saw her standing on the threshold of the resort's structure.

The construction was seventy percent done, and then they had found a leak in one of the floor pipes. They were in their initial phases of laying down the wooden floorboards when Mr Lee had called and informed her of the potential disaster.

This wasn't the first project she had faced such unexpected calamities on, but she didn't want it to be her last since lately she wasn't on good terms with her halmeoni. And Im Sol didn't want to give her any ammunition to decide against her granddaughter inheriting the family business.

“Sa-jang-nim. We have fixed the leak. It damaged a few wooden floorboards but we were able to save most of them.” He informed her, handing her and her secretary a protective helmet.

Both Im Sol and her secretary Ga-hyun fastened their helmets and followed Mr Lee as he led them through the safe areas around the site. He briefed her about the process and then once he was done Im Sol signalled her secretary. “Ga-hyun.”

She nodded and hurried towards the coffee and food truck Im Sol had brought for the construction workers. “Mr Lee. Please ensure that everyone takes coffee and snacks.”

“You are very kind, Sa-jang-nim.” Im Sol gave him her professional smile and headed towards the food truck. Ga-hyun was serving coffee. Im Sol entered the truck and asked Ga-hyun if she needed a hand. “Oh no. Sa-jang-nim you don't have to do that. You can go sit in your car I can….”

“I have a few hours before the next meeting. Besides, the sooner we get this done the sooner we can go. I need to reevaluate the figures of the new contract with the Chinese delegation before the meeting.”

“Ye, Sa-jang-nim.” Ga-hyun replied with a smile. There was no denying that Im Sol ran a tight ship but she was just as generous and empathetic when it came to her employees and that's why Ga-hyun truly respected her boss.

Im Sol took a doughnut and wrapped it in a tissue before handing it to one of the workers who was waiting for it.

That is how Sunjae saw her. In a plum coloured skirt suit and a yellow helmet over her head, she was handing a doughnut to one of the workers. Sweat beaded her face and she daintily took out a tissue and dabbed it off of her face.

Sangsognyeo Im Sol could not have looked more out of place distributing doughnuts, wearing a custom made purple skirt suit and black heels standing almost in the middle of a hazardous construction zone. Howevrr her generosity and kind heartedness warmed his heart.

“I would order a coffee with honey and cinnamon but never did I imagine that someday I would get the live example of a zebra in a horse's herd.” Sunjae leaned against the food truck.

He was wearing a navy blue checkered shirt and dark brown cargo pants with another chain hanging from his neck. This one had a key as a pendant. He had rolled up the sleeves of his shirt up those vein-y and muscular arms, and was looking absolutely dashing.

Im Sol pursed her lips, to withhold herself from saying something caustic in return. Ga-hyun kept staring at him as if awestruck by his beauty.

By now she was very much cognizant of the fact that Ryu Sunjae was enjoying riling her up, hence she kept quiet. She casually handed another worker a coffee and a doughnut without acknowledging him. It was so satisfying to see that smirk fall off his handsome face.

But she had not expected him to actually jump into the truck. “Yeobo. I know I am, what five seconds late but that is no reason to freeze me out.” He took umbrage at her silent treatment. He tried to take off her helmet but she moved away from him.

“What are you doing?” She whispered when she saw her secretary giggle suggestively at them.

“I am here to convince the world our relationship is real, my father just threatened me to take my electronics business away from me today. So let me hug you.” He added the hug part, hoping he could see her roll her eyes. Why was he so obsessed with that small gesture from her?

She smiled too sweetly, “No. I said we would talk about it. You didn't have to come all the way here.” She leaned even farther so he pointed towards Ga-hyun.

Im Sol shook her head, coming a bit closer she voiced, “Aeg..iya…” Her scent was rose and something else this time but it was equally alluring like last time.

He chuckled at the way she called him baby in Korean, it was as if someone had fish-hooked it out of her throat at gunpoint. Then she leaned around him and glanced at her secretary, “Ga-hyun.” The secretary immediately took a hint and left them alone in the truck.

“Come on, let's go.” He tried to take off her helmet once again but she jerked her head back. “What are you doing? And, go where?”

“Don't you feel hot in this? And we have to leave for the park in ten minutes, I reserved it for the next few hours.” He took her hand and glimpsed at her watch.

The way he kept invading her space would normally have vexed her but she found that she didn't mind it. Maybe it had to do with the association their families shared or that they had once been friends.

Once or twice his proximity had incited a dangerous temptation but she was a big girl. She could control whatever magnetism she felt for him, she argued with herself and even if she felt overwhelmed she would just avoid meeting him after all this was all just pretend.

“Sunjae-nim. Did I sleep through a conversati…” her words were still in her mouth when she remembered she actually had agreed to meet him last night when she was almost half asleep. She audibly exhaled.

“Yes. When you told me you liked my clear and soothing voice.” Her eyes widened comically and he couldn't help but chortle at that.

“Only you can tease me about a compliment I paid you. Anyone else would have been happy.” She shook her head trying to bypass him and move out of the tiny space of the small truck. It had not been the brightest idea to be alone with him in such close quarters. Her inner self was laughing at her for thinking she was a strong big girl who could resist him.

He blocked her path, “Who said I am not happy, Yeobo. In fact I am ecstatic.”

She saw the way his pupils dilated, eleventh grade biology had said it either meant that a human being was scared or aroused, and she didn't like either option. Her own heartbeat drummed in her ears and she prayed her pupils were pinpoint at the moment because she was sure he was familiar with biology as well.

Sunjae felt an invisible tug towards her. He had only meant to jest with her but it seemed that the joke was on him. He bridled the bizarre hankering to kiss her that rushed forth. That wide eyed fragility in a woman who was also resilient was such an enticing contrast. Slowly he moved back against his will.

Thankfully the unseen spell that thrummed between them subsided.

“I am so sorry Sunjae-nim, I have an important meeting in about an hour and a half. I remember I agreed to accompany you but….”

“We still have an hour and a half. You're not going to go back on your word, are you?” Sunjae asked, being wise enough to know that she won't be able to say no.

TTTTTTTTTTT

Twenty minutes later she was standing on the top of a hill overlooking the most exquisite scenery below. The sun was hidden between the clouds and its rays cracking through them tinted the horizon in light orange hues. Violent wind blew her hair away from her face and she felt revitalised. All of the strain and pressors of her life were forgotten in that calming moment.

Im Sol closed her eyes as Sunjae noiselessly stood beside her. He couldn't stop looking at her.

Feeling the heat of his gaze even with closed eyes she shivered or maybe it was the cool morning wind. Her eyelids fluttered open and she murmured in a low voice, “It's magnificent isn't it.”

He felt something stuck in his throat. Sunjae wanted to hold her hand and share this profound moment with her, but he knew he wouldn't be welcome.

“It's definitely staggering.” He was talking about his own reaction to her nearness and her innocent beauty but he didn't want her to know just yet.

“I'm glad I said yes last night. Oh and by the way I prefer a cupcake in a plate of muffins.”

“Oookkaayy. We can buy that ….” He looked confused.

This time she giggled. “I mean rather than call me a zebra you could have used a milder more respectful idiom.”

“I am deeply sorry Mam but you know, thickheaded peasant guy here, what do I know?” He wasn't oblivious to the fact that she thought of him as a non-serious and thoughtless man-child. He hadn't paid much heed to what she thought of him until now when for some reason the more time he spent with her the more that careless remark had begun to matter to him.

It was the second time he had joked about it. She wondered if she had unknowingly bruised his ego. Im Sol always tried to remain respectful and civil to people she was acquainted with so when he responded like that she felt like she had probably crossed a boundary. “Sunjae-nim. I merely said that as a joke…… I'll try to maintain an appropriate distance from now on. I think I should leave now.”

One moment she was bantering with him and the next due to his naive idiotic remark she was retreating away from him. It arose an unwelcome and wounding pang. He gently grasped her arm when she was twisting away. “I know it was a joke. It's …… my response was uncalled for. I didn't mean to ruin this moment for you.”

She gave him a tight smile and very politely pulled her arm out of his hold. “You didn't. I really have to go.”

Sunjae didn't stop her nor did he tell her that he had planned other activities as well because even though she said he didn't he knew he had shattered that moment of peaceful intimacy by his silly remark and for that he was unusually regretful.

TTTTTTTTTTT

Im Sol marched towards conference room number one in her office. With Sunjae's penchant for lateness she had been sure she was early even though she was on time. But she reached the glass door of the conference room and saw him sitting in one of the chairs.

She briefly paused to observe him. He looked every bit the chaebol heir of Ryu Geon-deok with his exotic looks and debonair style, as Vogue Korea had described him. He acted all easy going and amiable but she sensed an underlying ruthlessness in him.

“Hey.” She greeted him.

It was a bottle green skirt suit today and she had paired it with ivory coloured pencil heels. He wondered if she preferred white shoes. “Hey. I hope I am not late this time.”

“Nope. Right on time. You look like you came straight from your office.” Im Sol commented seeing his grey button down vest and pants, and took a seat across from him. “Would you like anything, coffee or….”

“No, thank you. Actually I am headed to my office. I had some time so I thought I'd drop the signed contract. Also you said we needed to discuss a few things.”

“Yes. I had some time to think and I believe you are right. We need to make it look convincing. So I am afraid we'll have to do some pretend dating too.” The way she said it made him laugh.

“You say as if someone asked you to slackwire with a bicycle, with the slackwire on fire and the bicycle's one wheel flat.”

“I am serious. I am not dating anyone right now but…. I don't want to presume anything about you… I read somewhere that you were dating a Chinese actress.” Im Sol didn't know why all of a sudden she was feeling self conscious.

“Isn't it a bit late to worry about it? Also did you look me up on the internet?” If he knew what that mischievous smirk did to her he would have a field day.

Im Sol scoffed, “Nooo…It's just common sense to do research on someone I am doing business with.”

“And that includes reading about my alleged link up’s?” It was exhilarating to see her try to hide that gorgeous, a tad abashed colour in her cheeks. She leaned down and pulled a folder out of the table drawer, although she didn't need to bend down for that.

“There is no such thing as useless information, Sunjae-nim.” Im Sol improvised. She only had searched him on the net because she had been mildly curious and nothing else.

“Okay… whatever you say.” His lofty smile still in place. “But you'll have to lose the Nim after my name among other things. And to add on that useless information tag I am not dating anyone, have actually been single for the past year and a half. By the way you could have just asked me you know, I would have told you since we are getting married….”

“Fake married.” She interrupted.

He nodded, “Fake married and also because we may have drifted apart but our families aren't just distant acquaintances they are friends. My dad thinks of your grandma as his own mother and I love your halmeoni as my own grandma, Sol.”

She could see the genuiness in his eyes, it softened her. “I’ll keep that in mind. So we need a schedule for the pretend dating.” She slid the folder towards him.

“I really want to laugh out loud but I don't want to offend you.” He opened it and saw neatly arranged columns with dates, times and potential dating spots.

“You'll find it funnier to know it was initially colour coded.” She admitted.

“Really? Not funnier but it would have been so much cooler.” She waited for him to mock her again but he was sincere this time and it touched her.

“What are these empty slots?” He asked looking up, now actually curious. It was classic Im Sol, with precision and planning, but he couldn't deny it was efficient as well. Sunjae stood up and leafed through the rest of the folder.

“Those are for places you prefer, that is if you'd want to…I mean we need to be out in the public together for a few paparazzi photos. We could just stage them but my halmeoni's actually spying on me so we'll have to fake date in reality.” Im Sol winded around to table to stand beside him.

“Can I get a copy…” before he could finish his sentence she pulled out a copy of the schedule and handed it to him.

He found it so endearing that he unwittingly uttered, “You're a woman after my heart do you know that….?” His excited smile faded as the awareness between them intensified just as their hands brushed over the folder. His gaze was so intent and fervent. What did he think when he looked at her like that, she thought. She knew this was perilous, they were just doing this for their respective careers but it was like she was helpless.

Sunjae knew the fascination he felt for her, recognized the desire that rushed forth but the need that enmeshed with the want was novel. It was like he needing to breathe. The potency of this pull between them was too raw.

A knock and her secretary’s voice had her jolt away. However he was still standing in the same spot. Each time she withdrew something pinched his heart.

“Sa-jang-nim. The chauffeur called there is something wrong with your car so he is taking it to the automobile repair shop. I have asked for another car to take you to The Savant but it would take half an hour for it to arrive…”

Im Sol was about to respond but Sunjae beat her to it, “I can drop you off it's on my way. I just have to pick a file from my Office and then we can head to The Savant.”

“Sunjae-ni…” As if she changed her mind and with a nod towards him continued, “Sunjae it's fine I can…”

He leaned towards her shutting her up, “Remember we need to be seen together.”

“Okay. Ga-hyun cancel the second car. Sunjae will take me.”

“Ye. Sa-jang-nim.” Ga-hyun responded even as she kept staring at Sunjae, Im Sol noticed but Sunjae was busy reading the schedule as if it was the most important document.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Im Sol knew she shouldn't have taken him up on his offer to go along with him to his office so he could pick up the important file. She had never seen such a disorganised working space before. It was triggering her in the worst way.

Everyone was doing everything at the same time and the same place. There was a table tennis right in the centre of what was supposed to be an office area, a small cafe/library spot on one side, a makeshift gym area and then a large smart computer system on one side besides the laptops and ipads everyone had on their randomly arranged, neon coloured tables.

It looked more like an art studio than an office for an electronics company.

The way Im Sol malfunctioned for a second was totally worth it. He could literally see her system crashed and then rebooted, by the look on her enchanting face.

“I must confess bringing you here and watching that horrified slash stupefied look on your face was purely for my personal gratification. It must be a war zone for you?” Sunjae uttered, with a gigantic smile on his face.

It took all of her strength to prevent her mouth from hanging from the shock she felt.

“How do you get anything done?”

“Well…”

One second she was teasing him back and the next instant she felt a wave of dizziness take over her and she swayed. Was it the chaos and disorder that had her reach for her bag for her pills or was it her forgetting to eat lunch?

When she wobbled then steadied and fumbled, Sunjae, who was enjoying the deer caught in headlights look on her face, immediately caught a hold of her arms. “Hey. Are you okay?”

She didn't know why it affected her so much. “Yeah. Yeah. Can I…. Where's the ladies room?”

“It's on the left beside the library. I'll take you.”

“Uhhh no…”

“Don't argue.”

Once inside she splashed her face with cold water and took a pill. The burn she felt beneath her ribs was especially severe today.

The fact that her stress had triggered her gastritis and ulcer had befuddled her when she had gotten diagnosed almost three years ago. She leaned against the countertop and waited for the fiery pain to subside. It lessened so she righted her suit and walked out but then it lanced her again. She was almost about to fall when he caught her.

“Hey. Hey. Im Sol!” In a flash he lifted her in his arms bridal style before she could object.

“Sunjae… please…” her face was deathly pale and her lips were as white as the shoes she was wearing. Panic rolled through him like an angry tide. “I'll take you to the hospital.”

“No please. I'll be fine in a minute…” she breathed through the pain which oscillated from mild to severe. “Im Sol….”

“Sunjae… please….I'll be fine once I lie down. Trust me. Please.”

He nodded and then took her to his penthouse which was only one storey above his office.

A few of his office employees asked if they could help and he replied by telling them to have In Hyuk call him.

Once inside the penthouse he headed straight for his bedroom there. Gently he put her on his bed and shuffled the covers around her. He literally waited five seconds before he stated, “You said you'll get better if you lie down, you're still the same… I am calling the ambulance.” He turned but she halted him by clasping his arm.

“It usually takes a few minutes before it goes away.” Im Sol sat up. One hand around her midriff and the other around his arm. She didn't want anyone to know. She hated showing her imperfections, she had conditioned herself to put her needs after everyone else in her family. Hence had gradually forgotten to take care of herself long ago.

Sunjae was literally panicking like he might lose something that would topple his world. He swiftly leaned down to help her. Some of the colour had returned but he could see she was still in pain. “What is this? Did I do this to you?” The agony in his voice and his eyes struck her heart.

Unknowingly she placed a hand on his cheek and smiled wanting to soothe him even though she was the one in pain. “No you didn't. It's just that I forgot to eat lunch.”

He wanted to bundle her, close in his arms. She awoke a fierce kind of protectiveness in him. “You sure?” He held her hand keeping it still on his face when she would have pulled away. His eyes raked over her face, looking for any signs that she might still need to visit the hospital.

“Yes.” She was hypnotised by the concern and worry she saw in his eyes. No one had ever cared enough to force their way through the barriers she had erected.

“You know what?” He was still kneeling in front of her. “It's okay to let people help you every once in a while.”

The air around them, thick and tense. She needed to pull away before she drowned. Im Sol tugged her hand away from his. “That's why I didn't let you take me to the hospital.” She gave an extra friendly smile. Sunjae understood that this was another way that she was putting distance between them. He thought he'd ponder on it later on why he chafed each time she did that.

“Fine. But since you've missed your meal you won't leave without getting something inside that stomach of yours.” He stood up.

“No. Sunjae. Really I have to be at a meeting in twenty minutes….”

“Your freaking meeting can wait. The sky won't fall if for once you're late for a meeting. I am not letting you leave with an empty stomach.” With that he trotted towards the kitchen.

Im Sol felt a unique elated yet serene feeling encompassing her as she watched him stride away. She didn't fight it, instead let it wash over her. She stood up and from the threshold saw him curl up his sleeves over his arms. Her heart melted in an instant and Im Sol knew she was in deep trouble.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

(NINETEEN YEARS AGO)

(SUMMER CAMP, US)

Jessica took Im Sol to the back of the cabin. Im Sol had been excited to play house but she didn't like that Jessica kept telling everybody what to do. However Im Sol kept quiet because she didn't have many friends here except Hyunjoo, who was also a girl from Korea, and Sunjae who was her best friend.

Sol knew Sunjae would be the husband today and it was her turn to be his wife. She liked that. She and Sunjae were very good partners. Whichever game they played together they won. And she liked Sunjae very much. But she hadn't told anyone that except had secretly told Hyunjoo about that last night when they were sharing a sleeping pad.

“Im Sol, I have to tell you something.” Jessica stated after looking around if anyone was listening.

“What?” Im Sol asked while smoothing one corner of her sundress which had turned up when they were running towards the backside of the cabin.

“Sunjae does not want to play house with you. He said he would only do that if you ate bugs.” Jessica giggled covering her mouth.

Im Sol didn't know why she wanted to cry. He was her best friend; he should not have told Jessica to make her (Im Sol) eat bugs if he didn't want to play. “It's okay. I don't want to play house with him either. I am going to play on swings.” With that she ran away while wiping the tears from her chubby face.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Chapter Text

Chapter 3 

“Your freaking meeting can wait. The sky won't fall if for once you're late for a meeting. I am not letting you leave with an empty stomach.” With that he trotted towards the kitchen.

Im Sol felt a unique elated yet serene feeling encompassing her as she watched him stride away. She didn't fight it, instead let it wash over her. She stood up and from the threshold saw him curl up his sleeves over his arms. Her heart melted in an instant and Im Sol knew she was in deep trouble.

Her epigastric pain had receded. Feeling much better she followed him. The sight that greeted him kindled a flame that torched both her desire and her heart. Indeed it was trouble with a capital T.

Sunjae was chopping off vegetables, with his sleeves rolled all the way up to his elbows. As if the universe wanted to torment her more, light shined on his muscular arms with veins like thick ropes running down through them. She was transfixed.

“Im Sol. Im Sol.” He called out twice before she responded.

“Yeah.” She finally looked up at his face. She must have been extremely hungry that she was staring at the vegetables he was chopping. She was practically looking like a zombie drooling over brains. His heart went out to her. This tough yet fragile woman provoked a possessiveness he was powerless against. For a second he put his knife down.

“You must be really hungry.” He gave her a sad, understanding smile.

Why was he looking at her with pity in his gaze? “What?” Im Sol sat down on the kitchen stool and poured water for herself, feeling a little thirsty.

“I mean the way you kept looking at the vegetables I was cutting, you must…”

She choked on the water that she was drinking. In a flash he was by her side and thumping her on her back. “Im Sol. Gwenchana?”

She waved him off, “Ahoo., I'm fine. Ahoo.” Gosh he thought she was salivating over food. If he actually found out what she had been drooling over he would probably poke fun at her for the rest of their lives. Belatedly she chuckled when the thought of what she had been dreaming about and what he had interpreted it as, formed again.

“Why are you laughing?” He touched her forehead checking for temperature, concerned all at once.

Somehow his worry, her dirty thoughts about him and then him touching her forehead to ascertain if she had fever, which probably why he thought she was hooting like a loon, made her laugh harder. He sat down beside her, the confused look on that gorgeous face made her guffaw even more.

“Im Sol you are scaring me, now. I mean you scared me before as well but this is a different scary.”

When she kept chortling he smiled seeing how captivating she was when she laughed without restraint. He felt an insane yearning to kiss that laughing mouth but couldn't cross that boundary yet hence he cooled himself down by drinking from the same glass she had just drank water from.

He put the glass down and finally quiet she turned towards him. “Sunjae. I wish I could tell you why I was laughing but I am sorry I can't.”

“It's rude, you know.” His curiosity was ready to murder the cat inside him so he tried to pry it out of her with the way he thought would work.

She slid off the stool, in an attempt to ignore him, but the movement pushed her even more close to him. She was all but standing between his legs. The air shifted again, becoming somewhat magnetic.

“So you won't tell me why you were laughing at me?” That tinge of susceptibility in his voice, shot a pang through her. Just like she had done earlier she wanted to caress his face and reassure but she shouldn't. She knew she shouldn't blur these lines.

Cool water momentarily diminished the fire in the pit of his stomach but then it roared high when he saw it reflected in her eyes. The need to hold was greater than anything hence he gripped the sides of the stool he was sitting on.

Im Sol took the first step away, again. She recognized she was afraid of rejection. When had she last been terrified of a man shunning her? The answer to that was vivid but she didn't want to face it.

“Why would I laugh at the man who has literally saved me?” Her reply made him relinquish the hold he had on his emotions and the stool he was grasping, but before he could reach for her she turned and popped a carrot in her mouth. “Or should I call you my fairy godmother?”

Again the moment was lost, again she had concealed it with nonchalance and humour. The hand that had stretched towards her, fell to his side.

“Okay let's make a deal. The day I get my company back I'll tell you.” Because that day it wouldn't matter what she felt for him, that day they would depart and hopefully they could laugh it off as friends.

“Okay.” He walked back and put a frying pan on the stove and turned it on. Her smile was too bright and too cheerful. Not wanting to dim it by relaying his own turmoil he flicked her nose, “Deal. Now sit back and let your fairy godmother slash gourmet chef make you a meal you'd remember for ages.”

TTTTTTTTTTTTT

Sunjae entered Ryu Mansion and his major dormo instantly shuffled into the main hall and took his coat and briefcase from him. “Dorrenim. Mr Ryu is waiting for you at the dinner table.”

“Si-woo. Should I be prepared for his anger or is the weather pleasant today?” Sunjae inquired of him.

He knew his father wanted him to get married. He had been pestering Sunjae for the past year or so.

Being from a chaebol family he no doubt had many of the life's luxuries people only dreamt about, in their lives. But almost every tiny aspect of his life had been planned for him in advance. He was expected to achieve a certain level of excellence and follow specific timelines.

There was an unsaid code and a pre-designated time for everything. And according to his dad and probably Im Sol's halmeoni it was time they were married to carry on the family name.

Sunjae had easily been able to stall his father before. He had never threatened Sunjae with anything so drastic like he had this time.
Ryu Geon-deok had previously only wanted his son to marry; he hadn't insisted that he marry Im Sol so it was quite likely that Mrs Jang Mal-ja had roped his father in with the idea of a friends becoming family thing.

And hadn't he himself fallen prey to her devices as well and made a deal with her. His initial motives had been selfish but now he really wanted to do what Mrs Mal-ja had asked him to. His feelings for Im Sol had altered in such a short time. It was something that was brewing inside him and he was waiting to see which way it spilled.

“The weather is cloudy with a slight chance of rain.” It was Si-woo’s way of telling Sunjae that his father may or may not get furious.

“Okay… I'll be down in fifteen minutes.”

TTTTTTTTTTTT

“So you've decided to marry Im Sol?” His father put his fork down when Sunjae sat down on the chair beside him. “You were seen with her at the office.”

“Yes.” His father didn't look satisfied with his answer. “Isn't that what you and halmeoni want?”

“I want you to get married. I was hoping you might have a woman in your life so when you didn't say anything I agreed to Mrs Mal-ja’s proposition of uniting the families. Ye Jun would have been happy.” His father's voice softened when he talked about his best friend.

“So why are we talking about this?” Sunjae couldn't hide the displeasure that seeped into his voice. “You're getting what you want.”

“Sunjae… I really want you to be happy…”

“On your terms.” Sunjae interrupted him. The unfairness and compulsion of this whole ordeal made him irate. He had never rebelled against his father's wishes due to his own insecurities about how his mother had died but something about all of this was just wrecking him.

It wasn't an exaggeration that he had agreed to Im Sol's fake marriage proposal on his own but neither he nor Im Sol would have to resort to such moronic tactics if their elders hadn't been so unbending and tyrannical.

“And what is wrong with that? If I had waited for you to get your act together then I probably would have died before I got to bounce your kid on my knee. Is it really that horrendous of me to want to see my grandchildren before I die…” Ryu Geon-deok knew his son's kind heart hence he hid his smile when he saw Sunjae getting a tad uncomfortable.

“Abeoji…”

Then becoming more sombre Ryu Geon-deok continued, “Adeul. You know I won't live long. I don't want to leave you alone. You have always been so much like your mother. Putting other people's needs before your own. It's time you have someone whom you can depend upon. If you want to be mad at me for that I won't blame you. But just know I will always want my son to be happy.”

Sunjae couldn't fault his father for that. In his own way he was looking after his son. But everything about this arranged marriage scenario was grating at him like sandpaper, now. Because he didn't want Im Sol to find out the deal between him and her halmeoni. Sunjae even felt like arguing with his father, but the hypocrisy of his own actions was taunting him too.

“I know.” With that Sunjae stood up. His appetite spoiled by the dilemma his life had become.

“Adeul. You didn't eat anything.” Mr Ryu stood up too. “Don't hate me for….”

“I don't hate you. I am not hungry anymore.” Sunjae turned to leave but his father's next words paralysed him for a second. “Is it because I mentioned your mother? It wasn't your fault.”

Sunjae wished that his father had not said anything about his Umma. It had taken him years to forgive himself and his father's random mentions of his mother messed with his mind. He couldn't say anything, couldn't even nod, just mutely walked with tears that never fell.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Im Sol wasn't sure if acting upon this nonsensical impulse of hers would be taken as a gesture of generosity or would he think she was acting creepy stalker-ish?

Though stalker was debatable, because their families knew each other closely and they were good friends who had lost touch for a few years. But still did friends show up at friends doorstep so late at night. She checked the time it was 9 pm. Again late might be debatable.

Mustering up her courage she took out her cell phone and called him. He answered on the fourth ring. “Hello. Im Sol. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah everything is fine. I was just….ehm…. Actually I brought you food.”

“What? Where are you?” She heard something shut, probably a door.

“I am outside your mansion.” She felt like a nervous school girl bringing gifts for her crush.

“What are you doing outside? Come inside. Si-woo knows you he would have let you in.”

TTTTTTTTTTTTTT

His hair was mussed up and wet. In a black T shirt and black trousers he looked wonderfully rumpled. An irrational itch to comb his hair with her fingers surfaced so she gripped the paper bag tightly to subdue it.

He climbed down the stairs and saw she was holding two paper bags. She lifted them, “I come bearing delicious food.”

Knowing her now even more closely he guessed she was heading back from work. A whole days work and not a single hair out of place. Her orderliness was somehow super sexy to him.

“Are you trying to compensate for this morning?” He took the bag and peaked inside.

“Why else would I be here? I hope I am not intruding so late.” She quipped, glancing around.

He smiled at her joke. “You're right on time.It's tteokbokki.”

“Yeah. SeoJun made it himself when I asked him to. I still remember you made a fuss about wanting to only eat tteokbokki at camp. I took a risk. You still like it don't you?” That expectant joy on her face was a stab on his chest. He didn't want to sabotage this pure moment and make her regret her sweet gesture so he vowed to himself to tell her about her halmeoni’s plan later on.

“Yeah they only had American food. I still love tteokbokki. Let's go, we'll eat this together.” she had been to their mansion many times so she knew he was heading towards the kitchen.

“No. Actually. I just came to….”

He grabbed her hand. The butterflies in her tummy went absolute bonkers.

“I won't eat this alone.”

TTTTTTTTTTTTT

The night sky all obsidian with tiny diamond stars made for a serene picture. They were sitting side by side on the table, in the front gardens of the massive lawn.

A comfortable silence etched between them. She had helped him warm the tteokbokki and set up the table. The domesticity of such a mundane task and the synchrony with which they worked together had terrified her a little.

Desire was easy but affection was something she struggled with. The culmination of this partnership they had settled on was even scarier. She re-examined the sentiment that had spurred her to come here tonight and cajoled herself into chalking it up to concern for a friend. Sunjae had gone inside to get water. She was holding the bowl with some leftover tteokbokki.

He moved beside her.

“It's so peaceful.” She muttered. He dipped his chopsticks in the bowl she was holding and ate some as if it was quite normal for them to share food without the required reservation

The way he kept pushing at her barriers with his candidness, would have rattled her control just a few days but it stirred a warmth that she had craved her whole life and hence she pulled away.

Depending on this feeling was nothing short of a disaster.

She avoided his gaze. The searing intensity resting there heated her insides.

“Thank you.” A whisper which felt like a caress under the dreamy navy sky. He put his own bowl and chopsticks on the table.

“What are friends for?” She wanted to laugh it off but wasn't able to and leaned forward to put the bowl on the table, all of a sudden hyper aware of the magnetism that drew them together. It was fire, scorching the seems of her nerve endings, crackling and dangerous, pulsating between them.

Sunjae risked it and tucked her hair behind her ear wanting her to look at him. When she did he sighed, “I said thank you.” Im Sol barely heard him, his eyes weaving a spell she wasn't strong enough to curb.

He leaned closer wanting a taste, a want so urgent like the next uttered breath, vital to his existence.

Muted breathes, and roving gazes, assessing, hesitating but still yearning to touch and be touched.

He wanted to take and give. Feel and make her feel. The way she looked at him whenever they were just near and the way his heart responded to it was singular, unique and poignant. Blood turbulent, rampant through his veins, pouring desire in every hungering pore of his body and she was the only flavour that promised to satisfy it.

Her eyelids fluttered half close when he touched his lips to hers. It was as electric and as shattering as he knew it would be. The soft pressure of her velvet lips intoxicated and spurred. A hesitant hand touched his chest sliding up into his hair and the volcano of wildfire erupted. He snatched her on his lap, impatient and desperate like an addict lunging to snatch his next fix.

He held her caged, her tiny breathless mewl, awoke something possessive and fearful simultaneously hence he encircled his arms around her, afraid she might vanish. Her tongue seeked entrance and lost and enslaved, he deepened the kiss.

Im Sol had never felt a passion that wrecked and fulfilled her at the same time. His touch, his lips and his tongue, an inferno of sensuality that flooded her senses making her unaware of who they were and where they were. One hand tunnelled in her wavy locks and the other caressed her face. He nipped her bottom lip then his tongue rolled over hers. It was ravenous and gentle, an annihilating contrast. Nothing and no one mattered except what they felt and made each other feel.

“So ….beautiful…” The murmur was a sound of both a confession and pleasure but somehow it shook her out of that trance.

She pulled away so abruptly that she almost fell out of his lap. He leapt for her but she pushed his hands away. “It's late. I am leaving.” With that she hurried away, leaving him severely aroused and baffled and… speechless.

TTTTTTTTTTTT

Lying in her bed, or more accurately tossing and turning, she had one thought circling in her mind, shit she shouldn't have kissed him.

No matter how much she was attracted to him she should have stayed away. Mixing business and pleasure was never a good idea. It always had a way to screw up both. Although it wasn't something she knew from experience, she had witnessed her best friend Hyun Joo make a muck of it in the worst way.

A flash of the kiss ran through her mind and she shuddered when a wave of ecstasy coursed through her. How could a kiss leave her so turned on? It wasn't like she hadn't had sex before but she had never felt such need enmeshed with her wants and desires.

She squeezed her eyes shut. What must Sunjae be thinking about her and about their kiss? Definitely nothing of much import. A guy who had dated a K Pop Idol, a K drama actress and a Chinese model all in a span of six months must be thinking what a bumpkin she was. It was just a kiss, heck a kiss was practically nothing more than a hug these days. A hug of lips.

She facepalmed herself for her over reaction when she had run away. She must have looked like an utter simpering fool.

Tomorrow she will visit him and act all non-chalant as if it was the most natural thing. That was the only way to deal with this complication, she concluded and tucked her head under the covers hoping that she would soon fall asleep and not think about him anymore.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTT

He kept looking at his watch. For a woman who was so anal about punctuality Miss Im Sol was late by a whole five minutes. The seconds on his Rolex watch seemed to be passing like hours.

Sunjae knew his impatience had stemmed from how she had left him last night after a mind fuzzingly hot kiss. He knew her well enough to know that she wasn't a tease nor was she faking her response to his kiss, because she may be demure and reserved but she wasn't an actress. So his frustration about her rapid departure after their kiss was warranted.

It was imperative for him to know why she had acted that way especially when he knew she was as turned on as he was. It was hurting his ego and had nothing to do with his heart he convinced himself.

He saw her enter the main gate. They were meeting for a typical, kdrama-esque date at a theme park. Sunjae had been waiting for her. She was wearing a beige jumpsuit with a caramel coloured jacket with her signature white heels, these ones had butterflies at the back. Her beautiful hair was half pinned up. Unknowingly he smiled. Even for casual dates this woman dressed like a royal.

She sensed him and her gaze shot to his. He felt his heart twist even from afar. Her slow hesitant smile and a hitch in her step, gave him some satisfaction. It was an indication that he wasn't the only one who probably had a sleepless night yesterday.

Once close to him she greeted him with a suspiciously bright smile. “Hi. I was really surprised when you suggested a theme park date. Although I think you briefly mentioned something adventurous. Most of the rides here are somewhat daring.”

It irked him even further that she was acting like nothing had happened between them so he did what he knew would jostle her. He leaned down and kissed her cheek and then lingered for a few seconds not wanting her to recover so quickly.

As expected she appeared shaken. He wanted to smile but didn't. “Hello, sweetheart.” Sunjae saw desire mixed with confusion in her almond brown eyes.

She took two steps back and he grasped her hand. He wasn't going to let her withdraw this time. Curling his fingers through hers, he tugged her to his side, “Remember we have to play the part of doting lovers, hence this theme park date. Oh and don't immediately look back, we already have people taking pictures.”

For a few seconds she let him guide her then slightly craned her neck and saw a guy and some teenage girls taking their pictures.

“I am first taking you to one of those daring rides you mentioned.”

She looked at his face and saw a giddy anticipation evident on it.

TTTTTTTTTTTTT

“Absolutely out of the question.” Im Sol remarked standing a few feet away from an extreme ride called Monster. It was a circular framework of seats that went up in the air and then gyrated as it plunged downwards.

Im Sol had always been one to entertain herself with more mentally stimulating hobbies such as reading and solving crosswords. As an adult she had never understood the concept of such daredevil activities and had regarded it as unnecessary and disorderly. The screams erupting from the direction of the ride further solidified her belief.

“Don't tell me you are scared. Do you remember your thirteenth birthday, you're the one who was practically recruiting your friends for a vacation to Abu Dhabi because the amusement park there had installed a new roller coaster?”

“I do, because I was thirteen. It was acceptable at that age. It's entirely ridiculous right now.” She pulled out her shades and put them on. Her skin was getting a beautiful shade of red, the sun particularly merciless today.

Unconsciously Sunjae stood in front of her blocking the sun with his lanky frame. That apparently ordinary gesture of care, stroked something deep inside her.

“Admit it you're scared.” He teased, his eyes bearing a mischievous glint.

“I am not scared. I merely fail to see the appeal of such an unruly and loud form of leisure.” It wasn't that she was frightened, she felt she was too old to indulge in these kinds of sports.

“Is that Im Sol code for I am too chicken to ride it.” He grinned, knowing she won't be able to resist his challenge.

“Even though I know this is reverse psychology to get me to ride this thing. I still accept your challenge.” She removed her shades and with a flip of her silky black hair proceeded towards the ride. Sunjae's eyes and lips creased from a smile he tried to smother.

Fifteen minutes later her sweet laugh filled the air, engulfing a warm fog around his heart. It was such a wondrous sight to see her laugh without holding herself back. He handed her the pink cotton candy and was about to take a bite out of the blue one when her next words stopped him.

“Pink for the girl. Really it's very sexist of you.” The laugh lines now replaced by a stern frown and he felt chastised.

“Uhh. Honestly I didn't mean to….” She leaned up and took a huge bite out of the blue one then laughed again. “I was just messing with you.”

Relief flooded through him and he shook his head.
In a matter of mere seconds the woman beside him had made him feel a flurry of emotions, contentment, joy, surprise, shame and finally joy again at seeing her jest with him.

She was taking a bite out of her fluffy ball when at the same moment he leaned down and bit into it. A jolt of awareness clashed between their eyes. His gaze never left hers, as he took another bite, the fluffy confection vanishing on his side leaving only a thin flossy cloud on her side. That quick punch of lust that shot through him mirrored the sentiment in her eyes, as if an invisible thread bound them.

She swallowed once, and then twice hoping he couldn't hear the loud thrum of her frantic heartbeat. She wanted to look away and wanted to deny this overwhelming desire but couldn't, not when he was this close. A knowing flicker in his eyes telling her he knew how affected she was, should have frightened her, but it was even more sensuous.

“I think I prefer this one.” He winked and straightened.

She stole a glance at him from under her lashes before finishing off the rest of her candyfloss. How could he be so nonchalant after churning her insides into a puddle? Was she the only one who felt short of oxygen each time he intentionally and unintentionally came near? Desire she understood, was truthful enough to acknowledge but the yearning and urgency it carried threatened to upend the pieces of her sanity was mystifying.

A harrowing voice from within told her once she let him in she wouldn't be able to salvage herself. He was like a vivacious, forceful tide that washed away anything in its way leaving nothing but broken fragments behind.

Once done she disposed of the stick. “You were right. It was fun.” Just because she understood the fire he awoke in her didn't mean she was ready to confess it to him.

“See. I told you, Sangsognyeo. If you continue doing what I say soon you'll see that life can be so beautiful.” He wanted to show her every fascinating and delightful thing in the world. He wanted to make her laugh, live without the shadows of loneliness that lurked behind her gorgeous zircon eyes. He wanted her to lean on him whenever she felt she needed someone. Possessiveness was perhaps outdated but he didn't give a single shit about it.

“It can until it's not.” She took out her shades again. It was a flimsy shield but it'll have to do until she could quell some of the fire that burned between them.

They rode the roller coaster next. This time she was the one who dragged him onto it. He had refused not because he was afraid or anything but because this wasn't even that thrilling and had told her it was like riding a see-saw. She had just rolled her eyes at him and propelled him towards it.

The staff members were strapping them onto the roller coaster and checking the safety belts. The couple in front of them were kissing and talking in baby voices. The guy lightly pulled her girlfriend's cheeks and called out in a baby voice, “Where are my baby's cheeks?”

The girlfriend in turn giggled like a schoolgirl snorting candy powder, covered her face for a second and then peek-a-booed him, “Here.” The boyfriend tittered like a parrot.

Then he pulled her nose. “Where is my baby's nose?”

The girl peek-a-booed again, “Here.”

“I wonder where is his and his baby's brain?” Im Sol's sarcasm had him purse his lips to bite down a laugh. It wasn't everyday he saw this candid and sassy side of hers.

Her upper lip was curled up, he had never seen shocked, disgusted and nauseous at the same time before. If the nauseous emoji had a human face it would match Im Sol's right now.

“Yeobo. Do you remember last year this roller coaster almost got derailed and I had to hold on tight to you?” Sunjae pretended to lean towards Im Sol as much as the strap allowed him to and then made a puppy dog face.

The couple immediately craned their necks towards Sunjae giving half petrified and half stupefied looks to him and Im Sol. Sunjae nodded his lips upturned like a baby's. “Yeobo. Don't let go. Please. I don't want to die.”

Im Sol's disgust transformed into confusion. Awkwardly, she held Sunjae's hand and he combed his finger through hers.“Jagiya….” Her sentence was still incomplete when the couple swiftly unstrapped themselves and ran out before the ride started.

Sunjae beamed at Im Sol. “You're welcome.”
They were still holding hands. “It looked liked you were ready to jump off the roller coaster just to avoid them.”

Im Sol shook her head. “I don't know if the ride would have done it but if I had to hear him ask her where is another one of her body parts, he would surely have met my stomach contents.” For a second they stared at each other. “That's code for I have would have puked over them.” Then they burst out laughing as the roller coaster ascended its track.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Although they had arrived separately at the park, Sunjae had insisted he would drop her off at Jang Mansion. Her chauffeur had taken her car and she was sitting in the passenger side of Sunjae's car outside her home.

He was still trying to convince her to wear one of those animal headbands, having bought a bunny band for her and a giraffe one for himself after she had pointed at it.

“Okay at least keep it as a souvenir of our first date.” He extended the band towards her with a smile.

“Fake first date.” She needed to come down from the high of the warm and fuzzy feelings he kept stirring each time he did something adorable. The date itself had been a huge guillotine against her self control especially after their spontaneous kiss last night.

Hurt slashed across his face for a millisecond or maybe she imagined it. “Fine .. fake date.” He slid it on her lap. Im Sol picked it up, “It's ….”

“Ridiculous, juvenile, utterly unnecessary? I know but sometimes it's just fun. Stop resisting everything you think might sabotage your end goal. Sometimes it just happens and you need to enjoy and embrace it rather than question everything.”

She knew he wasn't talking about the headband anymore but it wasn't any better that he was talking about their kiss last night.

“Sunjae…I…”

“So you're really going to pretend that kiss didn't happen?” He hadn't meant to but the words just slipped out of his mouth after an entire day of watching her shed off her collected persona at their fake date. He hated that contrast of sophistication and liveliness almost as much as he was drawn to it, at this moment.

Misery, a constricting ring around his heart. He had never been the one to deny what he felt or what he wanted but he wasn't a sadist either. She was grasping her bag like a lifeline, her knuckles white around the strap. She perhaps thought of their kiss as a giant complication in her plan to get her company back. Agony was like cotton balls in his throat.

“But don't worry like I said. Somethings just happen… They don't have to mean anything…” letting the words hang hoping she would deny it but when she didn't the scratchiness in his throat accentuated.

A mere second ago she had been ready to tell him that their kiss had meant more. Despite their fake dating and marriage contract it had felt too real, almost something tangible. Im Sol knew she had acted irrationally and immaturely after their kiss but she had done that because nothing had shaken her before like their kiss had.

And hearing him dismiss it as something that had happened in the heat of the moment was like being knifed even though she herself had called their date fake a minute earlier. Discussing their kiss was a moot point.

She knew her voice would wobble if she spoke so she just nodded and got out of his car. She turned, a tear escaped and she brushed it off. She had no business feeling heartbroken. It was just a stupid kiss and nothing more. The high she had been riding on was effectively down the drain.

Im Sol didn't turn around to look and she heard him drive off.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

Winding into the Jang Mansion again this morning, after last night felt a bit surreal and awkward. He had never been one to leave things unresolved because it always left him feeling tense and edgy and he did not freaking enjoy that feeling. But when it came to Im Sol, his soon to be fake wife, emphasis on the fake, as she kept reminding him, he had been doing many things he had never done before.

He had let her in his penthouse, he had accepted her proposition without thinking it through and he had given into his baser urges and kissed her.

It wasn't that he hadn't kissed anyone before but he hadn't done so with such drugging emotion before. Affairs or if one were to put it more candidly his physical relationships had never before stemmed from this deep rooted, inane throb inside his chest that suffocated him.

He never took any of his past girlfriends to his penthouse because that was his safe haven and he didn't want to share.

And he had never been so eager to accept weird fake marriage proposals before, granted they hadn't happened before but it was neither here nor there.

So the fact that Im Sol his once upon a time, best friend was making him do once in a lifetime unusual stuff should have excited someone like him. Someone who thrived at the prospect of new challenges, ran on adrenaline rush but it didn't.

Instead it left an uncharacteristic itch beneath his skin, one that addicted and annoyed him at the same time. Because where he was dealing with perhaps a new medical condition that left him aroused and irritated each time he was close to her, she seemed super chirpy at keeping him at arms length, well as chirpy as she could be in her poised, no nonsense way.

That kiss had obliterated something inside him, letting out years of vulnerability and insecurities he hadn't let himself feel. The kiss that had been a silent vow of something more tempting and soothing, had been an anomaly for her. It had enraged him, and everytime she resisted this invisible bond that stretched taut between them it ticked him off. But Sunjae wasn't a violent person by nature nor was he about to change now, however it didn't mean he had to take her evasiveness lying down.

He parked his car inside the massive garage and tossed the keys at the chauffeur. Everyone knew there was an early morning meeting of sorts between the Jangs and Ryus.

He traipsed inside the foyer and unconsciously his eyes landed on the woman who had given her more than a few sleepless nights. With one leg behind the other, her neatly manicured hands in her lap and in another one of those business woman skirt suits, this one a deep shade of crimson, she looked every bit as professional as she actually was. Her feet encased in another one of those fancy white heels with a red broach on side she sat insouciantly, unaware of the torrents inside him.

He would love to peel back those layers of finesse and gracefulness, starting from her toes, muss her up and leave her as jangled as he felt. The thought formed and levitated in his mind, and he realised indeed that would be a glorious day.

Before anyone else could greet him, her eyes met his, as if becoming aware of his perusal of her. As always, a charged cloud encased them, leaving them isolated from the other occupants. He saw the tiny flicker in her gaze, that momentary hitch in her breath and barely visible shudder of her hands, it pleased him. His heart full of the knowledge that try as she might she couldn't stay immune and detached. He smiled and that shudder intensified.

“Sunjae. My dear magnificent child.” Her halmeoni's voice cut through the haze, thankfully.

Her magnificent child directed that fifty kilowatt smile, that left Im Sol gooey and dyspneic everytime, towards her halmeoni.

He went to her and kissed her on the cheek. “My Queen.” He sometimes called her that. “You summoned.” He exaggerated a bow and her halmeoni smacked him on his shoulder. Despite yesterday's unease, Im Sol smiled even as a minute shard of envy pierced her.

Then he leaned towards Im Sol's mother and greeted her. One of the new occupants, or if he were to say old acquaintances jumped up from her position on the sofa beside Im Sol and enthusiastically hugged him. “Sunjae! How are you?”

He returned her hug with equal excitement. Whereas he and Im Sol had sort of drifted apart, Hyunjoo had always kept in touch. She was Im Sol's best friend and had been in US this past year working on a branch of new fashion line there.

“I'm good. How are you?” His eyes met Im Sol's over Hyunjoo's head as he hugged her and he thought he saw a hint of unease.

“I’m great. Just came back yesterday and had to meet my friends. Good thing both of you are in one place.” She pulled back and she looked between Sunjae and Sol. “Colour me surprised to know my two best friends are getting married. I'm a bit pissed no one told me.”

Before either Sunjae or Sol could reply, halmeoni replied, “Sometimes love happens in odd ways. Years of buried emotions burst out in a second. Am I right, Sol-li?”

Im Sol nodded with a tight smile warring with the urge to reach for her pills. She knew her grandma was baiting her, but Im Sol was too wise to take it. She stole a peek at Sunjae, the relentlessness in his eyes softened as if he saw her agitation as if wanting to ease her despite their acrimony last night. Her heart melted.

“That's why I have decided. We shall have the wedding in three weeks in Italy.”

Hyunjoo who was thinking that her friends had finally given up being stubborn asses and had realized they were perfect for each other saw a strange look pass between them.

“Halmeoni three weeks is too soon. I haven't even decided on a wedding dress, venue and…” Im Sol stood up desperately trying to come up with an excuse to delay the wedding. She did have a fake wedding contract with Sunjae but she hadn't expected to marry so soon.

Im Sol was still battling the panic, when she stole a peek at Sunjae and watched him as he extracted himself from Hyunjoo and came to her side.

Surprise and something like hope, made her eyes even more mesmerising as he took her hand and threaded his fingers with hers. He felt her stress thaw somewhat. 

Mrs Mal-ja lifted a hand, leaving no room for any argument. “You said you were willing to marry him, didn't you?” Im Sol regretted how she had challenged her grandma a few weeks ago. She had half a mind to hurl the crystal vase on the table in front of her on a wall and ask her grandma why she was pushing her like this. It shouldn't have mattered if the wedding was in three weeks or three months, which had been an arbitrary timeframe in her mind, but it infuriated her no less. She didn't like how her grandma kept pushing her hand.

Conflicting emotions, from her halmeoni's hijacking of her fake weddings plans and from Sunjae's proximity kept bombarding her. 

“And since you two are willing to get married and are even dating, you should be happy it's happening so soon. Plus it can be like a vacation if sorts for both families.”

No one objected.

One because they respected Mrs Mal-ja too much.

Two even if they did she would find another way to get what she wanted done.

So a day later, Im Sol and Sunjae found themselves extremely disgusted and horrified, in a resort in Italy in a room where of course there was only one bed and that too had a large heart of red rose petals on it.

(NINETEEN YEARS AGO)
(SUMMER CAMP)

Hyun Joo hated that Jessica had made her friend Im Sol cry so she had told Sunjae everything. Jessica was very rude and she always acted like she was a queen or something and besides Jessica had lied when she had told Sunjae that Im Sol didn't want to play house with him.

Sunjae and Hyunjoo were now looking for Im Sol so Sunjae and Sol could make up and the three of them could play together.

“She was at the swings earlier. Let's go there.” Hyunjoo muttered.

A few minutes later they went there but she wasn't there. They then went back to the cabin. Jessica and a few other children were riding their bikes. Sunjae asked In Hyuk about Im Sol.

“Her grandma was here. She is going back home.” In Hyuk answered.

Sunjae felt super bad. He had hurt her because of Jessica and he knew he should say sorry so he ran towards the main entrance of the camp. She could not leave without him telling her that he was sorry and that she was his best friend. But before he could do that he saw her car drive off. She turned back and glanced at him from the back mirror and Sunjae again felt super bad when he saw the sadness on her face as her car then disappeared.

Chapter Text

Im Sol and Sunjae found themselves extremely disgusted and horrified, in a resort in Italy in a room where of course there was only one bed and that too had a large heart of red rose petals on it. And a bunch of red heart shaped balloons floating around.

It hadn't hit him that he was getting married, although fake married but still. Not until he found himself staring at a bed of literal roses with a gross ass heart on it.

Im Sol hadn't moved a muscle, except for the right eyelid that twitched every now and then. It looked like all it had taken was a cringey ass bed decoration to break the ever poised and stoic Miss Im Sol.

No one had had the courage to defy Mrs Mal-ja’s absurd “marriage in three weeks slash vacation in Italy” order. Hence both he and Im Sol were now supposed to not only share a suite but also a bed of roses.

But they couldn't continue staring at it and hoping it might disappear. Someone had to do something so he pulled out his phone and called Si-woo.

“Uh.. I'll get rid of this.” he stole a glance at her. 

“What is this? What in the fucking hell is this?” She whisper-yelled, looking ready to tear her hair out. 

Yep the bed had definitely broken her, also did she just curse? 

“We're engaged. And this.. monstrosity….” She shuddered visibly, “Shouldn't even have been arranged for a honeymoon couple let alone an engaged one.”

“Well halmeoni said and I quote, “It's the new Gen Z era and she doesn't mind if we partake in coupling before marriage.” 

“Are you saying she used the word coupling?” Im Sol's horror and the twitch in the eye intensified.  

“Twice. It'll only give her grandbabies sooner.” He half laughed.

“I feel like this is some strange kind of nightmare. Normally she would be opposed to even me kissing let alone….” She shuddered again then extended her hand and continued, “Coupling. Pinch me. I actively choose to believe this is a dream.” 

He laughed heartily now. Every passing day she was becoming more and more unreserved and open and it delighted him that he could witness that. Her face flushed with anger and embarrassment, her usually tense eyes now relaxed and somewhat irritated.

Instead of pinching her he had this bizarre urge to bite that curled up top lip. They hadn't talked about the kiss or how her avoidance had bored giant craters in his heart. But he couldn't hold a grudge against her, not when she had needed the support when her halmeoni had made the abrupt announcement about the wedding date.

Sunjae could now recognize the signs of panic in her eyes. He had suspected that she was ill and had even talked to In Hyuk about her condition. In Hyuk his doctor best friend had told him it was most probably stress induced gastritis or could be a manifestation of panic attacks or both. Knowing her stress was making her unwell agonised him. 

For a fraction of a second he was transported back to the moment when he had seen her double over with pain, and that scared the living hell out of him, even more so now. Now when he knew that she was slowly seeping into his existence, becoming a permanent fixture of his being.

Now when he knew that with every breath he took she was the air that kept him alive and that is why her withdrawal felt like a million rusted needles digging inside his flesh.

His laugh gradually died, replaced by a sombreness produced from a frisson that slithered beneath his skin, making him very cognizant of her proximity. 

He knew she felt it too, that every resident charge engulfed them, bringing forth desire.

Hence she was about to pull her hand away but he grasped it and on a whim yanked her closer. Surprise interspersed with lust clouding her eyes, was satisfying in a unique way, but still he wanted her to feel his desperation. 

Feel as out of mind as he felt each time she was close. 

“Sunjae…” His name was a tiny whisper from the lips he now was aware were soft and intoxicating. He wondered if she would sound this maddeningly breathless if slowly kissed the pulse that thudded erratically in the hollow of her neck.

He caressed that frantic beat with a thumb and heat shot through him when she closed her eyes.

The gentle rise and fall of her bosom with each breath, absolutely provocative.

Why was she so powerless? Why was a single tug, a single touch and a single kiss enough to consume and incinerate her from outside in?

She opened her eyes, and saw muddy storms mimicking hers in his. Magnificent truly magnificent how the sentiments brewing there called to chaos inside her.

And those eyes, dammit, why did he have to be so handsome? Not only that but everytime he did something considerate she fell deeper into the vortex named Ryu Sunjae. She fell even though she floundered, thrashing her limbs wanting to survive and emerge as a victor but everytime she lost. Utterly helpless.

Even now she knew she should pull away, but she shamelessly savoured the feel of his thumb rubbing against her skin. A sinful yearning of wanting his mouth to replace that thumb simmered, and yes she was helpless irrevocably.

For god's sake he wasn't even kissing her this time. His hand sneaked into her hair, cupping the nape of her neck, inching her closer. 

Their breaths mingled, heat zinged through her nerve endings with the anticipation of the kiss. 

A loud knock and they jerked out of the entrancing mist. She moved away again, just like she always did and it was a colossal blow to the stupid organ that kept him alive so he kept feeling agony. 

“I'll take the couch in the living room.” 

She didn't even look at him and scurried out, shutting the door to the living room adjacent to the bedroom. 

Another knock resounded and Sunjae opened the door to find Si-woo. “Clean this up.” Sunjae ordered in a strained voice and marched to the bathroom for a very, very cold shower.  

He couldn't believe that the freaking roses worked.

TTTTTTTTTTT

She leaned against the door, attempting to steady her heartbeat. That practised and ingrained need hugged her and she fumbled with her bag. With nervous jerky hands she took the pills and sat against the door waiting for them to work their magic.

Pain beneath her ribcage was a duller version of its twin which was like an angry child loud, kicking and punching her, but it was there. 

The sentiments he wrenched out of her, terrified her especially when it was meant to be a facade. A facade which aimed to preserve what she had worked so diligently for. She couldn't lose it, for a man who had promised her nothing except a temporary union. Her company was the only thing that gave her purpose. Career alone some might argue wasn't fulfilling but no one in her family cared, in fact hadn't cared especially since her father died. 

Im Sol took deep breaths as the pain subsided. She lied down on the couch, telling herself that she would only rest for a few minutes and then will sift through her office correspondence.

TTTTTTTTTTT

It was dark when she jerked awake. She stole a peek at her watch and saw it quarter past nine well after the dinner time. Gathering her wits and her coat she groggily got up and ran a hand over her face. 

Leaning over to grasp her handbag she pulled out the pill bottle and popped another tablet in her mouth. She had taken the tablets earlier and but she still felt that vague discomfort she knew might morph into the familiar burn in her gut. Im Sol tied her hair up and freshened up. Once she came out of the bathroom she heard a faint knock from the adjoining room bedroom. She got up and the cracking noise from her spine matched the ache in her back. She wondered if she should have taken the bed rather than this couch. She glided towards the door and opened it. 

Ryu Sunjae was standing on the threshold with a tray of food in his hands. “I am starving and don't want to eat alone.” He didn't even give her a chance to answer before he stepped closer leaving her no other option than to let him in.

He placed the tray on the table. He had apparently taken a bath and changed. In his grey slacks and white shirt, with his sleeves rolled up on those vein-y arms, which she was pretty sure fifty percent of the reason she was attracted to him, she wondered if this guy ever looked anything less than dashing. 

“I am not hungry.” She wasn't ready to face him yet. They were getting really close and really fast or more like she was rapidly falling for him.

She hated that she had no control over her feelings. It felt like she was riding on a fast train with engine failure that was heading towards a cliff. 

But she was hungry. Her stomach chose that exact moment to let out a loud rumble and call her a liar. 

He lifted a brow and pursed his lips to conceal his mirth. “Ummm. You can just sit and give me company.”

“Fine.” She took a seat on the sofa across from him.

It really was unfair though that he had ordered almost all of her favourite food. Bulgogi, kimchi and bibimbap except for Tteokbokki which she knew was for him.

He didn't even offer her and began eating without sparing her a glance. Well technically he did but she had refused and now she was regretting it.

She crossed her arms. “Where did you get Korean food from?”

“Halmeoni arranged for Korean chefs to be flown in for the wedding by the way.” He lifted a piece of tteokbokki and licked it between his lips. Im Sol didn't know if she was more hungry or turned on? Gosh maybe it was both, she scrunched her nose feeling discomfited at her less than pure thoughts.

Sunjae mistook it for her annoyance about the wedding.

“You know we did agree to fake marry. It was bound to happen …”

“So you're saying I shouldn't be upset.” Fantastic, she was now horny, hungry and angry. He lifted a piece of his tteokbokki and without thought she took it.

Chewing on it at first then paused as if she had made a mistake. She stole a glance at him, expecting him to make fun of her but Sunjae was busy dishing out some kimchi. He then fed her some of the kimchi and she didn't resist.

“I know it was but…” she protested in between eating. “But I wasn't expecting it to happen so soon. I hate it.” 

He swallowed against the pang that lashed out of nowhere like a huge thorn eroding the skin beneath his feet. 

“Look I'm not exactly ecstatic about marrying you either but we have a deal. A deal you made because for you, your company is everything. But if you really hate it that much why don't you just call it off?” He couldn't prevent the slight edge in his tone.

God how he abhorred himself for sounding like a passive aggressive prick. 

Every freaking time she pulled away he felt pathetic. He wanted her, desired her, deep down knew that his sentiments for her were more than just passion but he could clearly see how none of the potent emotions he had for her would be welcomed by her hence he ended up acting like a pisshead.

She took a sip of water and for a few seconds watched him carefully. He had always been nonchalant but she knew he had never been downright rude. 

Was he hurt? Was he taking this personally? It felt like a shard of glass poked her heart. She didn't want to hurt him.

In fact she knew she couldn't hurt him. He was becoming one of the very few people she would die before she causes them any agony.

And honestly he wasn't wrong. She was the one who had offered him a contract marriage.

“You’re right. But I don't hate that I am marrying you, Sunjae. In fact I am grateful for you. I just hate being controlled. I hate feeling like a marionette with its strings in my halmeoni's hands.”

She let him see part of the insecurities and peeves eating at her. She despised lowering her guard but if keeping her walls up meant he was hurting she would rather let him see.

His face softened. He grasped her hand. “And is it worth making yourself sick over it?” Im Sol tried to tug her hand free but he didn't loosen his hold. 

A shadow of unease and embarrassment crossed her magnificent face. If only this strong woman would let him take care of her.

He would literally put the entire world at her feet if she asked. The overpowering thought didn't scare him as it should have rather it unfurled a healing warmth.

“Sunjae…”

“Whatever halmeoni is planning, it's not worth losing sleep over or staying hungry for. Neither is the business you think comes first before your own self. I promised you that I would hold up my end of the deal. You'll get that damned company, trust me but nothing and no one is worth making yourself sick.”

“Why do I feel like this was an intervention?” She smiled. His words and the underlying anger and concern on her behalf touched her. 

“Call it whatever you want.” She tugged her hand again but he didn't let go instead pulled her closer and lifted a morsel of bulgogi towards her. She took it the chopsticks from him rather than continue being fed.

He lifted a brow as if questioning her. 

“I don't like being fed.” 

“You were fine with it a few minutes ago.”

She tilted her head, “I am not a complete grouch. I didn't want to seem rude.”

“So you were sparing my feelings?” He teased.

“I ..I …” When she seemed at a loss of words he waved a hand in the air as if clearing it. 

“I was just messing with you. But it's nice to know you care about my feelings.” 

Before she could agree or negate he prodded on,“Also if you think she is manipulating you why give her the satisfaction that she can easily rile you up. Why not enjoy it and rub it in her face?”

When he didn't let go of her hand she stopped resisting, slowly letting his grounded presence soothe her turmoil. “But that would be playing into her hands.”

“Exactly and that is why she won't see it coming when we…when we divorce.” His voice wavered at the thought of losing her. 

Get it together, idiot, it's all a facade, he chastised himself.

“You're right. You're a genius.” 

“Wait.” He instantly pulled back. 

“What?” 

“Wait. Wait. Can you please repeat it for the camera?” He pulled out his phone letting go of her hand. “You called me a genius. I want this moment to be immortalised.”

She shoved his hand away with a tiny laugh. “You're an idiot if you think you're not a genius.” 

He put his fingers over his forehead in a dramatic gesture. “Is this a compliment or an insult? I can't tell.” He put his phone down.

“Of course you're brilliant. Everyone knows that. You run a tech and electronics company and you have doubled its worth in the last five years. I don't think someone who is not mentally proficient and astute could have accomplished all of that.” 

Joy, unfiltered and intense, rushed through his veins. It was quite weird that many people had praised him before, he was even on Vogue Korea’s list of most eligible under thirty list and yet hers was the one that made him feel like he had conquered the entire world.

Dammit he was really going doopey over her. He knew he was smiling like a dumbhead on crack.

“What?” She asked when she saw him smile like a crackhead.

“Nothing. Just glad that you think I am mentally proficient.” 

She blushed, her gorgeous face becoming even more exquisite with that reddish tinge. 

The air crackled with the familiar awareness. The way he looked at her sometimes made her short of breath. It unnerved and excited her. For a moment he leaned forward as if he might kiss her but then he leaned back. 

“So are you ready to rock halmeoni’s boat?” He quipped, making her laugh. “I know that sounded weird. But I….”

“I know what you meant.” She shook her head as she basked in the warmth of his smile.

TTTTTTTTTTT 

Im Sol stepped out on the porch of the villa and looked at her watch. She was dressed in a light green sundress and a blue denim jacket with white sneakers. Her hair tied in a braid. She was supposed to meet Sunjae at the steps of the villa exactly ten minutes ago. 

Although he was as usual tardy but she wasn't aggrieved this time around in fact she was grateful for the distraction Sunjae was offering her. She wasn't in the mood to face her halmeoni yet hence she had avoided breakfast and had immediately perked up at Sunjae's suggestion to sight see.

She pulled out her cellphone intending to call him when she heard a sputtering noise of a vespa. She saw Sunjae driving a red one towards her. He stopped in front of her. “Hop on and hurry up.”

“How?.. Sunjae…” She was about to voice her objection when she saw a man in his early fifties running towards them.

“Hurry up, will you?” Sunjae exclaimed but when she kept frozen to her spot he swung her on the seat behind him and drove off before the man could catch them.

He tilted back and handed her the spare helmet. 

Im Sol put it on. “WHAT WAS THAT?” she yelled over the noise of the vespa. “DID YOU STEAL IT?”

“I merely borrowed it. To be fair his son took money from me but the old man found out and chased after me with a gun.” Sunjae skirted around a flower shop and pulled a rose and handed it over to her. 

“WHAT IS THIS? A ROBBING SPREE? AND HE HAD A GUN? Are you insane?!!!” Im Sol shrugged off the gooey feeling she experienced upon receiving the rose.

“Like I said, BORROWING SPREE. I'll give his vespa back and give the flower guy money.” Sunjae leaned back and relished the way she encircled her arms around his midriff, “For now stop moral policing and enjoy.” Then he sped it. 

Im Sol was about to pull her arms away but when he pressed the accelerator, amping up the speed of the vespa, she had no choice but to immediately hold onto him. And the fact that her arms were all but plastered to his body made him very very happy.

TTTTTTTTTTTT

She hadn't laughed this much in a long time. They were sitting at an outdoor cafe and he was telling her about the time they had gone to Spain and In Hyuk had accidentally proposed to an old inn keeper rather than ask for a room to stay because Sunjae had tweaked his translating app. 

And then the old woman's husband had beaten In Hyuk up with a broom even though the lady kept winking and shyly smiling at In Hyuk.

“So he still doesn't know you fiddled with the app?”

“Nope. He kept insisting the app had five star ratings, still tries to convince me the lady lied to her husband just because he (In Hyuk) is extremely handsome and the cougar just fell for him.” Sunjae took a sip of his latte and smiled again at the satisfying peel of laughter from her mouth. 

He could really get used to having her sit across from him and laugh while he regaled her with certifiably absurd stories. 

This Im Sol the one who didn't hold herself back from just savoring this moment unapologetically and taking this for herself was quickly becoming his favorite. 

“Will you tell him?” She stabbed a fork into her mushroom pasta and took a morsel.

“Meh. We'll see.”

“I could never be like you. Never be this crazy. I would worry myself sick with guilt and immediately come clean.” She shook her head as if done with his antics.

“I know. I can be crazy enough for the both of us.” Heat flashed in his eyes, and the promise in his gaze and his words seared through her.

One cursory look and she was ready to melt. She picked her own cup and took a sip hoping it dispelled some of that forbidden heat.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTT

They went back after having a light brunch which gave Im Sol to evade her halmeoni and the rest of the “family.” 

Im Sol changed into her silk nightwear, trousers and a camisole before settling down with her laptop. This living room couch situation was deplorable but the alternative of sharing a bed with Sunjae was a tad embarrassing not to mention toe curling. 

It didn't help that he kept offering her to take the bed in exchange for the couch but she had this unconscious need to not inconvenience him more than he already was.

Some moments she rshe really wanted to be reckless and just storm in there and announce they were sharing a bed, others it felt too much like unravelling. Letting go of her guard and letting him in. 

As much as she felt a certain tenderness and affection for him she wasn't ready to admit it was more. And somehow she had this irrational fear that sharing a bed, however platonically that might be, would charter her into a territory she wasn't ready to breach, the giant L shaped one that scared her shitless.

Shaking off her thoughts about her soon to be fake husband she opened the browser and answered her emails. Just as she clicked on the screen her cellphone rang. It was her secretary.

Five minutes later, securing a robe around her, Im Sol was knocking her halmeoni’s door. Her mother who was occupying the adjacent room came out probably alarmed by the urgency with which Im Sol tapped the door.

“Im Sol?” Her mother asked and she would have answered but her halmeoni opened the door at that exact moment.

“Why did you ask the suppliers to cancel the new order for materials? Ga Hyun just called. The construction stopped because they said they received a call from you telling them we don't need the concrete and the wood anymore. The contractor just quit because you've been interfering with his work. Half the workers have been ordered to be fired with a two weeks notice and the tinted glass I ordered has been replaced with patterned one. Why are you doing this?

Rage and frustration was an ugly blend running through her veins, she couldn't stop herself from confronting her halmeoni. Although she knew lashing out against her halmeoni had never yielded the outcome she wanted. 

Her halmeoni just smiled. “I don't agree with their rates and the materials are substandard.”

It was a giant load of bullshit. Im Sol knew that this was just another way that her halmeoni was making things difficult for her. Because they had been dealing with the same supplier for the past five years and they had never had any such complaints before.

Im Sol scoffed. “I have been working with them on previous projects. In fact you've worked with them on one of the earlier hotel renovations. I want to know why you are doing all of this? What will this help you achieve?” Her voice grew a tad louder at the end.

Anxiety was a bitter coil churning inside her stomach. She could never hate anyone from her family but she wasn't sure it was true for them though. Her halmeoni's actions should have infuriated her but they wounded her more..

“I am merely trying to help you from making mistakes that can't be taken back.” With that she dismissed Im Sol not bothering to elaborate or even consider being courteous enough to wait for Im Sol to leave before the old woman shut the door in her face. 

Tears, always useless and weakening threatened, a few even spilled but she hurriedly wiped at them, abhorring herself for thinking she could get some ounce of understanding from a woman whose heart had probably turned into a stone the day her son had died.

She lifted her hand to knock on her door intending to demand an explanation but quickly lost the battle with her own misery and choler.

Well aware of her mother standing mere feet away at her back, Im Sol whispered, “I'll be fine Umma.” and turned away from the woman who was as helpless as Im Sol herself was when it came down to standing up against Mrs Mal-ja.

But apparently the night wasn't over yet. It kept getting effed up and bringing more shitty surprises along. 

Sunjae standing a few feet away at the opposite end of the hallway and directly in her path.

Saying anything was perhaps as futile as the few drops of water she had shed considering he may have heard everything if the pity she could see on his exotic face was any indication.

She hated being pitied but seeing it on his face embarrassed her more.

So trying her best at avoiding his questioning gaze, this time she was the one who walked away without bothering with general courtesies. 

TTTTTTTTTTTT

Sunjae wasn't sure if he should be miffed but he sure felt a stinging sensation where his heart rested. Why? Because it happened every time she put this invisible wall between them.

They had once been inseparable as childhood friends sharing nonsensical games and dreams until the day she had lost her father. 

With that she lost the insouciance of a teenage girl, growing up overnight. And now he wasn't sure what she regarded him as, a friend or just someone she had made a deal with. But whatever it was he didn't like it not even one bit. 

The past few days had made something abundantly evident to him that he didn't want to be just her friend, especially not when he sensed she felt something more too. So he pushed the adjoining door open and entered her side of the suite.

She was on the phone talking to her secretary one hand fisted through her hair over her crown, indicating that some of the vexation she had been suppressing had leaked.

Her robe draped over the chair in front of the vanity and she was pacing barefoot wearing the silky camisole and trouser shorts that stirred something dangerously sinful within him. 

“Okay. Schedule a meeting with the contractor and the suppliers. If they refuse I want you to get the green folder from my office and pull out the list of other contractors. Send me a copy of that list. I’ll shortlist some other suppliers.”

She waited a beat for Ga Hyun to reply then added, “I know you're working overtime. Log that in the company roll call but please do this tonight we have to sort this out by tomorrow I can't afford to push the date …” Then she turned and saw Sunjae leaning against the door. Quickly recovering from the surprise of seeing him standing inside her suite she continued, “the date of the inauguration.” She paused again waiting for whoever was on the other end to reply then continued, “Okay. Thank you.” 

Then she disconnected the call and put her cell phone on the dresser. 

Waiting a beat for Sunjae to state the obvious she inquired, “Is everything okay?”

“You tell me. It doesn't seem so.”

She was shrewd enough to comprehend what he was asking but wasn't feeling gracious enough to answer it honestly. “It's fine. It's just company matters. It's getting late, so you should go back to sleep. I'm sorry if I was loud and disturbed you.” 

If he hadn't started feeling for her what he now felt her reply would have been perfectly polite but just because he did her comment managed to expertly rile him up.

Anger at being relegated to merely an acquaintance and resentment at not being good enough to share her problems with him and a deep stab of pain merged with the two made for something twisted and irrational.

“I probably should do that.” He uttered through a clenched jaw as he paced towards her with the grace of a predatory animal until he had her backed away against the vanity. 

His spicy scent smothered her senses and those bewitching eyes with so much ire filled in them should have made her terrified but the fact that it excited her was paralyzing. 

Her hands clenched against the vanity. He was so close that one slight movement and she could touch his hard chest. 

The blush staining her stunning face almost disarmed him. He almost pulled back. The way her eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat called to the temptation she evoked in him. 

So damn gorgeous.

He didn't move back. Because he was on a mission tonight. This would either blow up in flames or bloom into a freaking bed of roses. 

“What happened?” He whispered and the words slithered against her skin. Her grasp around the vanity tightened.

“It's just….”

“Company matters.” He scoffed, “I know but I need to know what exactly?”

“Why?” She searched his gaze, wanting to gauge why exactly he was inquiring about her company affairs. It was a knee jerk reaction for her, to question people's motives. Not because she was cynical but because no one had been selfless enough with her to not do so.

“What do you mean why?” The doubt in her eyes, made him ball his fists. Self loathing reared up. Even when she didn't trust him all he wanted to do was lay himself at her feet. 

“Why do you want to know?” 

“Because I secretly am planning a coup against you.” His sarcasm seems to hit its mark when she looked appropriately chastised, “Jesus! Im Sol, what kind of a man do you think I am? I am asking because I care. I am asking so I can help.”

He couldn't take her being so close and yet so far anymore. He wanted to crush that defiant and distrustful mouth to his. Fury choked the blood flow to his thinking organ and his ability to be rational.

“Sunjae…” she felt the loss of his nearness as much as his pain. As piqued as he was, she wasn't blind to his suffering.

“What?” He whirled back towards her. Even with all the incandescence he didn't raise his voice. 

“I don't know what to tell you. You don't have to worry about me…”

He shook his head. “I really shouldn't worry about you.” The distance he had sketched between them he once again crossed it. Each slow step brought him closer. 

“But I can't help myself. I can not for the freaking life of me stop worrying about you. Don't you see? Can't you see what you mean to me?” He abhorred making himself vulnerable in front of the woman who had the power to destroy him and now he was letting her know that she could do precisely that.

“There is no one else in the world who makes me want to burn it down the moment I feel it has wronged you. You make me unhinged. I want to protect you. I want to give you everything that makes you smile.” He ran an antsy hand through his hair. 

He could see the light brown flecks merging with the darker ones in her eyes. Perhaps she was taken aback by his ardent confession.

“Why?” She whispered. His words had left her incapacitated. She felt like she couldn't move, didn't want to move. One wrong step and the enchanting spell around them might break.

His beautiful existence might vanish before she got to hear what she really wanted. Her heartbeat drummed in her ears. 

He touched his knuckles to her cheek as if he was entranced by its softness. “Because you're the only one my heart wants to beat for. I …” 

Two heart wrenching seconds passed before he jerked back as if he had been burned. A tiny tear escaped her eye and he felt himself reeled back in. Gently he wiped it. 

“I am not brave enough to say it when I know you don't feel the same way.” The dull throb that had begun fungating through her ebbed at his quiet reassurance. 

She grasped the hand that had wiped her hurt away and kissed the palm. Astonished he could do nothing but take in the beauty of the owner of his heart. 

“And I am not brave enough to let myself feel. I won't lie and say you mean nothing when you mean so much more. More than anyone else. But you deserve someone who knows how to love you the way you do, Sunjae. You ….”

He pulled back feeling dejected at her rejection. “You don't know what I deserve.”

As if desperate to make him understand she moved closer to him. “I do. I know you deserve someone who loves you without inhibitions and…”

“No you don't.” He interrupted, “Don't strain yourself with a brush off. You don't reciprocate my feelings, that's fine but you don't get to decide what I do with my own.” With that he stormed out and the thudding sound of the door echoed the turmoil that reverberated through both of them.

Feeling agitated, she took one step towards the door he had just gone through but then on after thought rushed towards her vanity. She slid open the first drawer and extracted her medicine but the bottle was empty. There was a note beneath it.

“You don't need this. Just eat healthy.” Running on anxious and incensed fumes she grabbed the note and furiously entered the bedroom.

“What the hell is this?” She shoved the note at Sunjae’s chest. “How dare you? Who gave you the right to rifle through my stuff?” 

He had really gone and done it, made her so hot under the collar that she had forgotten all decorum. “You had no freaking right at all.” 

He really was a glutton for punishment he thought to himself, but he would take her anger and vexation any day over her making herself sick. 

He tenderly encircled her wrist with one hand and took the note in the other. Then pocketed the note. “You're right. I have no rights but I won't sit idle and see you make yourself unwell like this.” 

She didn't know how to respond to that but she wasn't ready to let go of her wrath. She tugged her hand away but he grasped the other one too.

“You can try to break yourself. I will keep building you back together.” He tucked one curl behind her ear. “You can try to isolate yourself. I will keep invading your space.” He ran his thumb over her lower lip. “You can try to convince yourself you don't deserve love. I will keep trying to give it to you anyway.” 

She knew she was melting under the influence of his touching words and gentle caresses. Battling with herself she held onto her resentment and jerked herself out of his arms. 

“So you'll meddle in my affairs and go through my stuff under the pretense of care?” It wasn't lost on her that she was accusing him of faking concern but she needed this altercation. She needed to establish boundaries.

“Fine, get angry at me but you know there is no other way than to literally arm wrestle you to stop and look after yourself. If you have survived one night without those damned pills then you can do it for the rest of your life. That was the only way that came to my mind. I just wanted you to be healthy.”

Sunjae referred to how she hadn't been aware that her pills were missing since yesterday. He had taken them when she had fallen asleep after their shared meal. 

He wasn't an idiot. He knew the pills weren't something that were necessary for her health hence after consulting with In Hyuk, he had hidden them. 

She was chugging antacids like candies and they were more detrimental than beneficial for her health. 

Maybe there were other ways he could have gone about this but when it came to her he often felt like he was desperate. Desperate to shield her from all and any calamities, desperate to make her happy and his.

“Do you think I am mad about you wanting me to be healthy? Do you think I don't know what I am doing with my life? How dare you lash out like that at me as if I am a clueless child unable to make decisions for myself. You cannot push me in a corner to make decisions like that.” She shoved him away needing to do something with her hands.

“I can and I will a hundred times if it's someone I lo…” The fire went out of both of them as soon as the confession was on the tip of his tongue. The shocked pallor on her face was more hurtful than her constant distancing. He swiftly improvised more for his own self respect than anything else…”if it’s someone I care about.” 

Again that almost confession softened her more than any other justification might have.

“You don't push someone you say you care about just to suit your own pace and moods. You give them space, let them come to you.”

“That's the problem Im Sol you never come to me. I keep expecting you to run to me but you keep running away from me and I know why you do that?” 

It was a vicious circle with them, but was it really worth it when neither of them was ready to show all of their cards.

“Why?”

“Because of what you think about me but I won't start on it, that could definitely be a fight for another day. I'm leaving.” He turned towards the door but she stepped in his path.

“You can't leave like this. Act out and get pissed at me after you did the wrong thing.” Im Sol pointed one jerky finger at him. Rage made her shake.

“I can do whatever the hell I want, because this isn't a real marriage in the first place, remember.” 

Oh how he wanted her to tell him otherwise. For once lean on him and need him the same way he needed her. 

She wasn't wrong; he knew he was being a gaslighting asshole but the way she kept a wall between them he felt so inconsequential in her life when he couldn't see his future without her. 

It was killing him to harbor this intense love he felt for her and to receive courtesy and civility in return which wasn't anything special anyway. She treated everyone with that level of controlled compassion and generosity and it was making him sick.

For a few minutes he waited for this silent stalemate between them to end but when neither was ready to lay down their arms he walked out. 

Im Sol didn't want this animosity to aggravate but she wasn't at all feeling very magnanimous so she didn't stop him.

TTTTTTTTTTTT

A walk on the beach had cleared his muddied thoughts and improved his foul mood. After gaining some clarity he was ready to grovel and ask for forgiveness. His unrequited feelings were his problem. It wasn't her cross to bear. He entered his room and was astonished to see her sitting on his bed. 

“Sunjae.” She stood but stayed rooted to her place, was she apprehensive of him? That was the last thing he wanted her to feel for him he realized with a constricting squeeze around his chest.

“Look…” 

“Listen…” 

They began simultaneously then paused before he added, “Let me apologize. I was out of line. I shouldn't have taken undue liberties….Soo yeah I am sorry.” 

He strode towards her wanting her to never fear him. “And don't ever shrink away from me.” The raw intensity and anguish on his face softened her. 

“I'll kill myself before hurting you.” He could stitch himself with her he would. He wanted to imbibe himself in her essence.

Desire and love diffused with the warmth spreading through her like a blend of varied colours through water, vibrant and effervescent. His closeness, stifling and cocooning her. The way he raked his eyes over her, made her feel abashed and yet she wanted to take a plunge in its depths.

“Why?” Thoughts about what she wanted to tell him earlier scattering from her brain like a flock of sparrows.

“You know why.” It was a feat not to snatch herself in his arms and claim that tantalizing mouth of hers. A torture not to bury his face in her scent and mark her, dirtying her pristine and ravishing body.  

She shook her head, unable to break eye contact. “No. …No..” A tender whisper inciting flames of wicked and potent lust. “No… I want to hear you say it. I want the words.” Gingerly she cupped his face and for a second he closed his eyes. That tiny contact was a deluge of untethered concupiscence. 

He kissed the palm titling his head lightly, still holding her gaze. It shouldn't have felt sinful but it did. “I would say I love you. But love feels so meaningless for what I feel for you. I'm bewitched I'm obsessed. You make me burn and you make me feel. There is no me without you.” 

Some invisible barrier broke. She lunged towards him, taking his lips in one fiery kiss. Sunjae kissed her back with all the love and passion he had for her. Hoisting her legs around his waist he carried her to bed.

TTTTTTTTTTTTTT

SIXTEEN YEARS AGO

(IM SOL’S THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY)

Everything was perfect. Her dress, her cake, her party and the decorations everything was specifically suited to her taste. All of her school friends had come.

Hyun Joo was as usual messing and poking fun at Im Geum and her umma and halmeoni were carrying trays of food from the kitchen to the backyard, where the party was set up.

Im Sol shut the curtain she had been observing everything through from her bedroom window on the first floor and surveyed herself in the mirror for any imperfections.

She tucked her silver pins on one side of her black curly hair and ran a smoothing hand down her lilac gown. She wasn't a child anymore hence she had dressed like a lady. Exhilaration and anticipation for her party bloomed with a smile on her face. With one last look she turned and pushed the door when the voices echoed. 

What was her father talking to their head housemaid, Choi Ga Hyun, about? 

“Im Yejun you can not do this to me. I have given up everything for you.”Ga Hyun grasped her father's face and kissed him. Shock, crippling and devastating precluded any reaction. Im Sol could only stare at her father kissing Ga Hyun through the door crease. 

Her heartbeat was a continuous staccato, it felt like she had happened upon something she should never have seen. Her father was her idol and she unconsciously used to resent her mother for the disconnect between them. They used to be a happy family until a few months ago when her parents had begun fighting.

She never knew how her mother must have suffered. Im Sol felt disappointment and heartache as soundless tears slid down her face.

Another bitter voice echoed in the hall signaling her mother had witnessed her father's indiscretions. “Really Ye Jun, on Sol-li’s birthday and right in the hallway? You didn't even have the courtesy to take it somewhere private this time?” 

“Bok-sonah..” her father started shoving Ga Hyun away.

“And with a twenty year old this time? You've really hit a new low.” She then slapped him. 

“Bok Son!” He yelled. 

“Get out!” Her mother muttered. “Get the hell out!” 

“Umma. Aboji.” Crying, she ran into the hallway, not worrying about hiding anymore.

“Sol-li!” Her mother instantly hurried to her daughter, “Go downstairs. We'll cut your cake. Everything will be fine.” She frantically wiped the tears blocking her view of her father and Ga Hyun. 

Despite everything she didn't want her Aboji to leave her birthday but it must be so hurtful for her Umma so she mutely followed her Umma’s order. 

TTTTTTTTTTTTT

Her father didn't attend her thirteenth birthday. It was the worst birthday ever. He wasn't by her side when she cut the cake, he wasn't there when she blew on the candles and he hadn't even left a gift for her. 

Her friends kept asking her why she seemed sad and she kept giving vague nonsensical answers. The party had begun and ended and somehow she hadn't even registered how time had passed. 

She was still wearing the gown and was sitting on the porch steps, staring into nothingness. She kept replaying everything in her mind hoping to understand what had gone wrong? 

A rustle beside her jolted her out of her thoughts. 

“Im Sol.” Sunjae took a seat beside her. “Are you okay?” 

She shook her head but didn't elaborate.

He had been observing her during the whole event. Something seemed to be wrong with her. He had been crushing so hard on her because she was looking a total smokeshow but her eyes were all wrong. 

She wasn't laughing or even smiling and it was giving him a weird stinging ache under his ribcage. Was he catching some sort of a bug? Maybe he was coming down with some infection but he also hated seeing her cry. 

Two tears fell on her knees. 

“C'mon, Sol-li you know we tell each other if we are not okay. Remember when we promised we will never let the summer camp stuff happen again and that we will always be best friends.” He tucked a box in her hand and she glanced at him and then at the box.

She opened the box and saw a beautiful gold charm bracelet. “This is beautiful.” She smiled and Sunjae shyly scratched the back of his head.

“Are you sure? I mean if you don't like it we can go shop for something else together.”

“No. This is really really beautiful.” Another tear escaped when she remembered that her father hadn't even wished her.

“Sunjae. Let's make another promise.” She grasped his hand and he couldn't stop the funny squishy feeling he got every time she held hands or smiled at him.

“Okay. I'm game.” He really wanted her to think he was cool so he didn't wanna sound so eager.

“We will always be there for each other. We will never leave each other alone.” She leaned her head on his shoulder.

“I promise I will always be there for you…” he tilted her face up and was about to kiss her when a shriek resounded from inside the house.

They dashed inside and saw her halmeoni and her mother were wailing, a police officer was standing at the threshold.

“Sol-li, your father left us.” Those words had bulldozed her entire world to rubble.

That summer her father left her.

And so had Sunjae, to go study abroad, even when he had promised he wouldn't and Im Sol had decided she would never let herself need anyone ever again in her life.

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