Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Looking down, Tommy wonders if this was how his life was always supposed to go. Killing himself, he means. There was a time in Pogtopia, and the first time before Tommy ever met Wilbur.

The stars are so beautiful tonight.

Tommy jumps.

-

When Techno made it home, blood dripping down his face and sticking in his hair, he didn't think about having company over. In fact, he didn't think about having company at all for a while.

Still doesn't change the fact his house looks different. Almost like a wild animal ran loose in here.

And it's quiet.

Of course, it's quiet. It's the arctic, Techno's closest neighbors are the arctic foxes and other critters living nearby.

But it's *silent.*

Techno has lived a very long time, and still he knows when something bad is about to happen on the battlefield because the forest goes silent. And a forest going completely silent is the scariest thing Techno has ever almost died in.

And Techno has only ever almost died thrice. The third time being today.

And the forest still tops today. Even with the anvil bashing Techno's brain and skull. Even with having to fight for his life only two minutes after his skull reformed. Even then, the forest was scarier.

All this to say, Techno is quite a bit anxious.

Nothing looks taken or gone, just moved. Like, his books, for example, are out of order. But not gone. Maybe on the floor, but still there.

Techno needs a shower and a nap before he deals with this mess someone made.

...

Nevermind, the paranoia of someone breaking into his home and slicing his throat in his sleep is too much to handle, let alone sleep with. Especially after today. Techno rubs at his neck with the thought.

The piglin looks in his living room first, under the couches and even in the chimney. Moving on to the kitchen when he finds it empty. Opening and closing every single cupboard is dreadful, but Techno breathes easier when all of them are empty. Well, empty of anything not supposed to be there.

Then he checks the bathroom, that shower becoming more and more appetizing with every minute he is in there. Unfortunately, the paranoia strikes again. Acting as the opposite of lightning.

The bedroom is second to last. And similar to the other rooms, completely empty. A noticeable difference is that his room is completely untouched. Nobody came in here. Which is wonderful, because this is Techno's room, with all his gold. Or maybe they came in here, but realized this belongs to a certain piglin. Which would mean it's someone that *knows* Techno. Knows that he would be upset if his things, his *gold,* were touched. That makes this game of hide and seek all the worst. A chill rolls down Techno's spine, and it's not from the cold.

The basement is the only room left.

But, the dogs start barking. Someone is here, someone unknown. Which raises more questions. If the dogs don't know who this is, but this person knows Techno. Who could it be? Phil is out of the question, because the dogs wouldn't bark at all, they love the man. Phil spoils them.

Techno regains focus and looks out his window to see blond and brown walking away from his house. He is out the door before anything else can happen, before any more thought can enter his brain.

"Hey!" He shouts, as he runs after it, they run too, "what are you doing?"

The blond and brown turns around, and the first thing Techno notices is a black eye. Then he sees the eyes that are supposed to be blue, have turned gray. Then, finally, Techno sees someone that was once an ally, maybe a friend. *"Possibly a brother."* something in his mind says.

A silence has entered the field. It's the same silence as it was when Techno first entered his cabin, like it followed him. No one moves, or god forbid speaks. Not an ounce of noise is made once the boy turns around. Even the creatures don't dare move to break this moment. Techno stares, the boy stares back.

He finds his confidence though.

Techno's voice is quiet when he says his next word, barely a whisper in the wind, "Tommy?"

He looks so different. Hair is not shiny like it once was, like more of a sandy blond. The jacket he's wearing looks uncomfortably familiar to a certain ghost when they were alive. And his clothes are torn and ripped in so many places. He is missing a shoe, for blood god's sake. And he has these bandages wrapping around his neck. But it's Tommy, after all these years it's Tommy.

And after all these years, the first thing Tommy says is, "sorry, I'm sorry, I just- sorry-"

And then he starts backing *away* from Techno.

"No, no," Techno says, reaching his hands out in a desperate way he wouldn't even show Phil, "please, don't be sorry, Tommy."

The name stings his tongue, it burns to say his *brother's* name, because Techno may have had to stop himself from calling Tommy his friend before, but now? Now when Tommy has blood and rips on his clothes and scars on his face he never had before and his hair practically forming icicles as they speak, Techno would call Tommy family without a moment of hesitation.

The scary thing is, Techno doesn't know what changed, from the first time meeting Tommy to now. From just a few moments ago to now, even. Maybe it was that way Tommy flinched, as if he name was never spoken in any nice way. Maybe it was the anvil shattering his skull, making him think differently. Maybe it was just the fact that Tommy looked like he needed a *hug.* Still, Techno has a change of heart. It could also be the fact he told this child to die and called him a hero in the same breath. Could even be a mix. Whatever it is, it makes Techno desperate for Tommy to stay.

"It's cold," Techno says, it's very obviously cold, it's the Arctic, there's always at least a few feet of snow at any given time but for some reason it's all Techno can think to say. "Aren't you cold?"

Tommy just stares for a moment, he's shivering and shaking. Stone eyes stare. Stone eyes that were once the color of the sky and gem stones. Tommy stares just below Techno's eyes, and he nods.

Techno breathes a sigh of relief he didn't know he was holding. "Okay, let's go get warm," he reaches out a hand, cringing slightly at the blood still there.

The boy of gold takes it, takes Techno's hand, like the blood was never there.

They got back to Techno's cabin. Tommy stumbles a few times, but Techno always helps him up, brushing off excess snow on the brown coat he wears.

Tommy has gone quiet. It's eerie, Tommy is *loud.* Shouting out that he's a big man, yelling jokes, screaming threats. The only quiet moment with Tommy is when he is sleeping. Tommy's eyes are wide and aware.

"Why were you in my house?" Techno asks to fill the quiet.

Tommy stares, the rain cloud eyes will haunt Techno, he thinks. "I'm sorry, it- it was safe."

"Safe?" Techno questions, Tommy's nods. They can see the cabin now, Techno wasn't aware of how far they ran. "My house is safe for you?" Tommy nods again.

The voices call him soft, but Techno still smiles at the fact his house was safe for Tommy. That Tommy still looked at him with safety in his mind.

They two walk in quiet again for the few minutes it takes to reach the door of Techno's cabin. "Go on in," Techno says, as he opens said door. He stares at Tommy for a minute before coming to a decision, "I'll make you some food," he says, walking to the kitchen already, "then I'm taking a shower. Blood is kinda lame to be covered in." The attempt at a joke, falls flat. Maybe Techno just needs better jokes.

Tommy nods, and goes to sit in front of the fireplace. Almost too close, but Techno doesn't say anything, just gets to cooking.

It has to be easy, easy to make but also easy on Tommy's stomach. Techno held his hand, and Tommy's hand was just bone and skin. And if that's just Tommy's hand, Techno can't imagine the rest of him buried beneath that brown coat. It might be worse than Pogtopia. So, therefore, potato soup.

Techno grabs a cutting board and some potatoes, carrots, and parsley. He starts with chopping the parsley. About twenty minutes pass with the only noise being the clicking of the knife hitting the cutting board. It's..nice, domestic. It reminds Techno of Pogtopia, Tommy would help him cook. Even though the boy would complain the whole time, he still would be upset if Techno didn't come tell him that he was going to be cooking. Genuinely pouting over the fact he wasn't there to help Techno.

Techno zones out so much he doesn't hear Tommy walking in the kitchen behind him, until he turns around. Or maybe Tommy was just quiet. Either way, Techno still jumps and has to hold his chest to calm his breathing. "Jeez, Tommy, warn a guy."

"Sorry."

Techno looks back at Tommy, he sighs, "it's fine, did you need something?"

Tommy shakes his head.

"Did you.. want to help?"

A nod.

Techno looks for something relatively easy for Tommy to do. He finds it, "you can peel the carrots and potatoes," he hands out a knife. Tommy stares at it. "So you can peel them."

"*Oh.*" Tommy says, starting to peel the potatoes and carrots.

Tommy was always so good at this part. It's probably all muscle memory now, but even when Techno joined the rebellion and started farming potatoes, Tommy was excellent at this job. So while Tommy peels, Techno chops.

Chop, chop, chop is the only sound.

Then after ten or so minutes, Tommy passes the final freshly peeled carrots and potatoes onto the cutting board, Techno chops them into small cubes. "Could you get a pot of water on the stove?" Techno asks his r- *helper.* Techno's helper, nothing else.

But it's weird, Tommy does so without question. Not even a quick quip or insult to Techno that they both knew he didn't mean. Just, fills up the pot with water, and sets it on the stovetop.

"Thank you." Techno sides all the small cubes and chopped food into the pot making a nice splash, turning the heat up when done. He adds a bit of salt too. "Now, we wait," he says to no one in particular.

The stickiness of the blood is getting to Techno now that he doesn't have anything to do. And it can't be a pretty sight for he's- for Tommy either. All the blood and stuff.

Techno turns to Tommy, "can you do me another favor?" Tommy nods. "Can you watch the pot to make sure it doesn't boil over, I'm gonna take a shower."

Tommy nods again and watches the pot. Still no joke or comment or insult.

"Okay, if you need me, holler." And with that Techno is up the stairs and down the hall, off to his shower.

He zones out partly, just watches the blood go down the drain. It's pretty, in a weird way. Poetic maybe, but Techno was never very good with his words. He can describe it's red water, but he can't make that sound pretty. Wilbur could, he always could.

A part of Techno hates Phil a little for killing the closest thing he had to a brother growing up. Hates that he didn't seem to really hesitate. And Wilbur was Phil's *actual* kid, Techno was just abandoned by his family because he was too human. And Tommy. Gods, *Tommy.* If Wilbur was the closest to a brother for Techno, he almost certainly was Tommy's brother in all but blood. And Tommy had the best view of Phil killing him.

Techno's thinking too much about this. He's cleaned himself off, and now he is just wasting water. Techno gets out, gets dry and dressed in a nice clean short sleeve shirt and some pajama pants, leaving his hair in a towel for a little while longer. He stares in the mirror. Did Phil ever apologize to Tommy? That feels like something you apologize for. Has Phil even spoken to Tommy since then? When was the last time *Techno* spoken with Tommy before this? Was it, no. Was it to make fun of him? Was that the last time? It couldn't have been. But Techno's mind can't come up with another memory. That was five years ago, has- has it truly been that long? And it was to make fun of him.

Before Techno can think more on this, a loud crash interrupts anymore possible thoughts.

Techno's out the door in a second.

"Tommy?!" Techno shouts running down the stairs, "Tommy, are you okay?!"

The boy of the hour is laying on his side in the middle of the kitchen, some bowls and a chair nearby. He's muttering.

"Tommy," Techno is kneeling at his side, "Tommy, breathe. Come on, I need you to tell me where it hurts." He hands hover over the boy, for just a moment, and in the next Tommy is in he's arms. Curled into his chest. "Hey, breathe with me, in one, two, three four," Techno says, like he has any idea of what he's doing, he's only heard Tubbo tell Tommy this in Pogtopia. "I need you to breathe so you can tell me where it hurts."

Now that Tommy is closer, Techno can hear what he is saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I thought-" a cough "-I thought I could do it, I'm sorry I'm sorry-" a sob "-I didn't mean too, I swear, please-" a hiccup "-please don't hurt me, please." And he repeats that. Like a record player. Tommy isn't even actually talking to Techno, he's talking to whoever would dare to hurt someone while they're already knocked down.

And normally, Techno would have no problem just holding Tommy while he calms down, but it was a huge fall and with Tommy being severely malnourished. Bruises are possible, concussions are plausible, broken bones, internal bleeding-.

The boy could be hurt quite easily, is the point.

So, Techno picks up Tommy, frets over how easy it was, and sets him on the couch. Then he quickly runs back to the kitchen and grabs an ice pack from the fridge. Goes back to Tommy, places the ice pack on his face, and the boy gasps and calms. At least Techno learned some tricks while watching over Tubbo and Tommy in Pogtopia. Tommy looks around for a moment before settling on a crouched Techno's face in front of him. He seems confused before remembering, "oh," is all he says. His breathing calms.

"Oh," Techno copies, "mind telling me where it hurts?"

Tommy's face gets all twisted again. "What? Why does- why does it matter?"

It's the first full sentence that lacks unnecessary apologies or panicking, and somehow Tommy breaks his heart even more. Again, Techno wishes someone was here so they can walk him through on how to help Tommy. He move next to the boy.

"It matters, it matters to me," is all Techno manages to say. He repeats himself, "where does it hurt?"

Tommy's vision falls to his knees, Techno doesn't chase it though. Just waits. Slowly, Tommy speaks, "my," he looks unsure again before something sets in place, "my back hurts."

Techno's voices scream, a mix of joy *the golden one* trusting Techno enough to tell him the truth about something hurting, and sadness and anger that he was hurt at all. Techno is just worried. "Can I see your back?"

Nodding, Tommy slowly turns.

The man lifts up Tommy's shirt, there's the start of bruising already. While examining the starting-to-turn-purple spots, Techno tries to pretend he doesn't notice how visible the boys ribs are or the fist and shoe shaped bruises already there. Despite that, nothing looks wrong. Everything seems fine.

"Alright." Techno drops the shirt, "probably just some bruises."

Tommy nods again, very quickly turning around, back facing the back of the couch.

Silence returns. It never used to be this quiet. It makes Techno wonder, who made the great loud mouth, Tommy, so silent? Makes him wonder exactly how they did it.

"The soup should be done now," Techno says before he starts thinking too much again. "You stay here, and I'll bring it over. Put that ice pack on your back."

Techno leaves before Tommy can say anything.

While in the kitchen, Techno figures he should clean up the mess made. He picks up the bowls and puts them in the sink. The chair gets put back at the table.

Finally, Techno grabs two bowls for Tommy and him. He only fills Tommy's bowl half way, too much food after having none for so long will not end well. Techno grabs two spoons also, how else will they eat.

Techno sees that Tommy has listened to him as he walks back. Leaning backwards on the ice pack. Nodding to himself, Techno passes the bowl of soup to Tommy.

"Thank you." The boy says, quietly.

Techno simply nods again.

They both eat their soup in silence, only things making noise are the spoons scraping the bowl. It's nice, peaceful. Techno never thought he would miss Tommy, especially when L'manberg was in flames, but he does. He did.

The voices did especially, talking loudly about the *golden one* and asking when they could see him again. Weeping and whining when Techno answered *"never, hopefully."*

"I'm done."

Techno looks over at Tommy and his bowl, the soup is mostly gone.

"That's good," Techno praises,"here, I'll take that and clean up, and you can take a shower."

Tommy's face goes a bit red from the slight praise. He just nods.

Techno takes the bowls to the sink to wash, then leads the kid to the bathroom. "Alright, turn left to turn it on, the top is the hottest it goes," he explains, Tommy nods intently. "Towels are here," Techno opens up a built-in closet, housing black and red towels.

Tommy gets a look on his face. A slight twitch in the corners of his mouth.

"Listen, I have a style, okay?"

"I didn't say anything," Tommy has a slight smile while he says it.

Techno smiles back, "no, but you were thinking it."

"I didn't know piglins could read minds."

"Just take your shower, you smell."

Tommy giggles at that. It's small and doesn't last very long, but it's everything.

"I'll leave some clothes out here that you can wear," taking down his towel while the hamper is right there, "if you need anything, just holler," then shuts the door, and with that, Techno leaves.

The options of clothes are limited, but an old shirt he can't wear anymore should work. And Tommy is tall, so pants aren't as difficult. Some soft sweat pants should work.

Back down stairs, Techno starts cleaning up. Putting the left over soup in containers to then be put in the ice box for tomorrow night. Then starts on the dishes.

It's a simple process that can very easily be done on autopilot while Techno thinks. And usually Techno would be thinking about everything else he has to do, or Phil, or just listen to the voices. But he can't seem to keep his mind off those fist and boot print bruises.

Who would hurt anyone like that? Wasn't Dream supposed to be taking care of Tommy? Was Dream even doing that? Tommy looks starved, and that's not really a fast process. But Dream wouldn't do something like that, right? He saved Techno from that butcher group.

But Dream did kill Tommy before, twice actually, from Tommy's ramblings in that ravine. Once with a sword and the second with an arrow. And even Techno can see how obsessed with those discs Dream is, obsessed with Tommy.

Even though, this is obviously abuse. And Dream is weird, always talking about some revival book and attachments, but Techno didn't think Dream was that off to abuse anyone, let alone a child. Because that's what Tommy is. A kid.

Techno fought a kid in a pit, he was cheered on by Wilbur. He almost killed him.

Technoblade told the kid to die a hero.

Neither are even justifiable. He was just angry.

The water is cold.

That's what gets Techno out of his head. The dishes are done being washed and set on the drying rack, but it's the cold water that gets Techno's attention.

"Techno?"

Techno breathes deeply, turning around to stare at Tommy, *just a kid,* at the top of the stairs, hair still wet and bandages still wrapped around his neck. "Yeah?"

"Can you, can you brush my hair?" He asks, "please."

Nodding, Techno dries his hands and walks to the couch.

Tommy walks over, a brush in hand, and stands by the couch. Seemingly unsure of what to do now.

"Here," Techno takes one of the pillows off the couch and plops it on the floor in front of him, "sit there."

After handing Techno the brush, the boy does. He is tense though, especially when Techno starts actually brushing his shoulder length hair.

It looks a lot better after the shower. Shines more, like gold. That thought has his piglin instincts purring. Techno takes a deep breath, focusing on the process of brushing his ru-,*Tommy's* hair. It's still tangled and even matted a little in some places, so it's a slow process, but Techno doesn't mind. Tommy seems to grow less tense during it, so he seems to not mind either. It's nice to see Tommy's shoulders slowly relaxing.

Techno has the hair mostly brushed out. There's no major knots at least. And as he was brushing, the hair dries. So he takes to braiding it, making Tommy's hair look pretty. If it resembles what Techno remembers other piglin shoat's hairstyles, that's entirely a coincidence and nothing more. The voices say otherwise.

The voices can eat dirt.

Techno ties off the intricate braid. It's a mix of a french braid and a waterfall braid. It starts at both of Tommy's temples before joining together into one braid. The braid is really a half up half down kind of braid. Techno lets it drop against Tommy's back with the rest of his golden hair.

Tommy raises his hand to lightly touch the braids. Gently pulling at the waterfall part of it, before tugging the braid over his shoulder and examining that.

"Do you like it?"

Tommy turns, a precious smile on his face giving him slight dimples. "I love it."

Techno's heart warms like the fireplace in front of them.

He decides to not act on the mushy feelings he has. "It's late, you should get to sleep, and so should I."

Tommy frowns a bit, before getting up off the floor. He picks up the pillow off the ground, holding on to it, "I.. I don't want to sleep though." Tommy backs away from the couch, a bit tense.

Techno looks up at the boy, amused by his words, "you've had a long day, I'd be tired."

"Then you can sleep."

A grin forms on Techno's face, "how about you just lay down, hm?"

Tommy's frown deepens, "where would I?"

"Well, I have a spare bedroom with a nice soft bed," Techno stands and starts walking towards the staircase, "it has nice soft pillows and blankets." He walks upstairs and grins just a bit wider when he hears light foot steps follow him.

Techno walks past the bathroom, and points to the first door of the left, "this is my room, if you need me."

The boy nods.

"And this," Techno turns and points to the door on the other side of the hallway, "can be your room, if you want it." He opens the door, turns on the light, showing exactly what he said, a bed with more pillows than average and a few blankets. Techno is a piglin and soft things for a den are ingrained in him, and it is the Arctic. There's a desk and chair with a lamp, as well as a trunk at the end of the bed. And there is also an empty shelf.

Techno walks in, while Tommy hovers in the doorway. Seemingly waiting. For what, Techno doesn't know.

"We can decorate it later," Techno speaks in the silence.

Tommy focuses his attention on the man, "really?"

"Well, yeah, it'll be your room," Techno feels embarrassed for some reason, maybe because of the pure look of *hope* on Tommy's face, "if you want it to be." He coughs and looks away, examining the floorboards from where he stands.

Another moment of quiet fills the room. Then, "I want that."

It's spoken barely above a whisper.

Techno turns to Tommy immediately, "yeah?" He can feel his cheeks pinch with how wide his smile is.

"Yeah." Tommy's smile is just as wide.

Then a yawn spills from his smile.

It's the most precious thing Techno has seen.

"We should get to sleepin'," Techno says, already slightly herding Tommy to the bed, "we've both had long days."

Tommy groans a little but still walks over to the bed. When he gets there, Tommy climbs in and under the blankets.

Techno, from a force of habit from his younger years, tucks the blankets under Tommy. He realizes what he's doing when the boy himself stares at him like he's grown a third eye.

"Uh, sorry." Techno stands up straight, that same embarrassed feeling making his neck sweat. He walks back to the door, flips off the light, "good night-"

"Wait-"

Techno looks up from the light switch and at Tommy, giving him his full attention.

"Can.. can you stay with me?" Tommy asks, "just until I fall asleep?"

"Of course."

Techno walks back over and pulls out the chair from the desk, and sits next to Tommy. There's some awkward silence before Tommy speaks up again.

"Can you.. tell me a story?"

The piglin looks over at Tommy in the dark. Once sapphire blue eyes stare at him, "what story would you like?"

"Icarus."

"Alright, I can do that," Techno says, pulling the story for memory. "Really the story started with Daedalus. Now Daedalus was this expert craftsman-"

Technoblade sat there, in that uncomfortable desk chair, telling the story of Icarus until the end. Tommy was asleep before anywhere close to the flying part. That is alright, though, the kid looks tried.

Techno grunts while getting up, greatful for Tommy being asleep because he would never hear the end of it. Thank blood god for that. The piglin leaves the room, turning the light off on his way out, making his way to his own room.

That night, staring at the ceiling, Techno wonders if he could fix it, fix the relationship he has with Tommy. He thinks he can, he thinks he is going to try anyway.

Chapter Text

Tommy wakes up with a scream in his throat. He reaches for the chain hidden under his shirt that's holding his compass. The metal is nice under his skin. Smooth as he rubs his thumb over the sides.

He might as well get up, Dream never liked when he was sleeping still.

After finishing that thought, Tommy looks down at the bed? At the blankets? Looking around at the room? The chair next to the bed? And that's when the memories of the night before settle in.

"It was real," Tommy whispers to himself, a smile taking form on his face. "It was all real."

Water splashes off the glass of the compass. It's an actual bed in an actual bedroom, with a desk and chair and a real door. The sunrise from the window, a real window, lights up the room and Tommy's heart isn't racing for once. His breathing is steady. The smile grows.

Then he sneezes, the room must have not been in use for a while. Tommy scratches at the bandages around his neck, thinking now would probably be a good time to get up. Make himself somewhat useful, it would be a bad idea to ruin this.

So, off Tommy goes. Down to the kitchen, only to find Techno already there. Making pancakes.

Tommy always loved Techno's cooking. The piglin could make edible masterpieces. Tommy wanted to find out his secret for such delicious food.

The boy also missed it in exile. Especially during the nights where he hadn't been good enough to have food. Dream was nice enough to throw him half of an apple, but his stomach still twisted and grumbled into the night.

"Do you want to help, or sit and watch?"

Tommy shakes his head, looking up from where he zoned out looking at the stove. "What?" He holds his breath, bracing himself.

"Well, you took a fall yesterday, and you probably have injuries you haven't mentioned," Techno glances at his neck, "so, you don't have to help if you're not feeling up for it."

Tommy can feel his face scrunch before he fixes it, he thinks about it. "I.. want to sit. And watch."

The piglin remains neutral, not even looking up. Just points to the table and chairs.

Squinting his eyes, Tommy pulls out a chair and sits down. Watching Techno for any slight moment. That is how he knew it was a trick with Dream, the slightest, subtlest moments. But, again, Techno doesn't even twitch. He just flips a pancake.

Tommy shifts his gaze to the window, watching the snow fall. He plays with the chain around his neck. And it takes him a moment, but he realizes he isn't worried. There is some anxiety, Tommy doesn't even think he will ever be truly safe, but he is fine.

"Do you want something to drink?"

Tommy stares at Techno again, watching as he places the plate of pancakes in the middle of the table. 'How did he get there so fast?' "um, sure, yeah- yes."

"Alright, what do you want?" Techno asks, already making his way to the fridge.

He's already pushed, can't test Technoblade anymore. Tommy remembers the piglin favorite language to speak.

"The only universal language is violence."

"Water, please." Tommy chokes out.

Technoblade nods.

It's quiet again. Tommy looks back to the window, the snow is getting heavy now. He chews his pancake, quietly thanking Technoblade when he places a glass in front of him, then pulling out a chair to sit across from him. Tommy wonders if it's true that every single snowflake is unique, he takes another bite.

Technoblade clears his throat, Tommy turns to stare at him on instinct.

"So," he coughs, "what were you doing here? Last night, I mean."

The boy knew this conversation was coming, it was stupid to hope it wouldn't. And Tommy is nothing but a fool.

"I was." Tommy stares at Techno, a lie formed in his head, "looking for supplies."

The piglin looks away, Dream did too, sometimes. He said it was the eyes, the cold, empty eyes.

"Why- uh, why did you leave then?" The piglin asks.

It was hard not to match the similarities between him and Dream. They have such similar patterns. A cough to show they wanted to speak, the twitch in their arms when they were getting angry. Tommy hadn't noticed it before, but exile gave him a lot of time to think.

"I realized it was your place, didn't want to fight with you." The lie rolls off his tongue, slipping through his teeth, and was served on a silver platter with precision. Just like Tommy practiced.

Technoblade inhaled quickly, like he was whistling in reserve. "Okay," he says, while exhaling, "why did you stay then?"

Tommy freezes, he didn't plan this. He didn't plan on staying, so he didn't plan a lie for it, he didn't plan this. This is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong. It was not in the script, it was not planned for, he didn't plan for this.

How could he? How could he be so stupid? Tommy didn't plan this, he doesn't have anything he can say, he doesn't have a lie, he can't just say the truth, he can't. Dr- Technoblade would see the difference. He would know, he would see Tommy was lieing. He can't know.

"Tommy?" Someone says, "Tommy, are you alright?"

Tommy is not alright. He did not plan for this. This is wrong.

The boy, instead, takes a deep breath and nods. Redirecting his attention from the table back to Technoblade, "Um, yeah- yes. Yes, I am alright."

Technoblade stares at him like he doesn't believe him. To be fair, Tommy probably wouldn't believe himself either.

Technoblade nods anyway, "okay, how 'bout you have a drink of water."

Tommy took up his suggestion. He starts glupping down the water, like he hadn't had any for days. Which he hadn't.

"Alright, alright, slow down," Technoblade says, making a slow down motion with his hand.

Tommy stopped, wiping his face from the water that didn't make it in his mouth. He takes another bite of the pancake.

"So, why did you stay? Why did you take-," The piglin coughs, "why did you take my hand?"

Tommy can't stare at Technoblade for this, so he stares out the window. He doesn't see anything. "I don't. Know. I think, I wanted to believe you." He doesn't see the snow starting to fall again, he doesn't hear the wind, Tommy isn't there. Not quite. "I think I was just tired, and I wanted to trust someone."

Technoblade doesn't say anything. Tommy just blinks a few times and goes back to eating. Technoblade starts eating too. They finish breakfast in silence.

When Tommy finishes his food, he gets up to wash his plate.

"I can get that," Technoblade says, "just leave it in the sink."

Tommy doesn't hide his confusion this time, "you made it, so the person that doesn't has to clean it." He explains, slowly.

The piglin eyes the scars on Tommy's hands and wrists. "I can get it," he repeats, "besides, you're the guest."

Squinting, Tommy looks Technoblade up and down to make sure this isn't a trick. There's no twitching arms, his eyes aren't narrowing, and his jaw it loose. Tommy stares at the piglin while he walks to the sink and places the plate and fork in it. Still, Technoblade does not move.

"Okay," Tommy says, walking back to the table. Again, Technoblade doesn't twitch.

Instead, he nods at Tommy. "I have things I need to do today."

There is it. Tommy would roll his eyes, but, well. Technoblade and Dream are so similar.

"You don't gotta help," Technoblade continues.

Okay, so, maybe not so similar.

"I just wanna run down what I'll be doin' incase you need me," the piglin continues, taking a bite of food, "I have to feed the animals, do some enchantin', and then lunch." Techno takes another pause, and a quick sip of his water. "I'll be training after that till dinner."

Tommy is at a lost for what to say. With Dream, it was like an improv with rules. Say this, and get hit. But say that, and get food or whatever. Simple rules. And while there are similarities, there are more differences. And with no rules, it's safer to not say anything.

Unfortunately, Technoblade is the most awkward person alive, so he just starts. Talking.

The piglin coughs, "you like animals, right? You could help me feed them, if you want," another cough, "or just, y'know hang out with them if you would prefer, or just-"

"I- I will hang out." Thankfully, Tommy puts the man out of his misery by interrupting him. "I'll hang out with the animals."

Technoblade smiles at that.

Chapter Text

The brat shouldn't have interrupted Techno

You wanted him to continue talking? And die again from second hand embarrassment?

...No but still

Technoblade shakes his head while washing the dishes, "quiet, he's fine," he mutters.

The voices quiet down, still arguing, but Technoblade won't get a headache.

Tommy was currently sitting on the couch. He looked so uncomfortable, though. Technoblade thought the boy would collapse on it and take up the whole couch. But no, Tommy keeps surprising him.

Newly washed dishes get placed on the drying rack, and Technoblade dries his hand on the nearby towel. Satisfied with the chore done, he walks up the stairs, feeling Tommy's eyes following him.

The piglin goes to his room and digs around in his wardrobe for a cloak the boy could borrow. He finds an old one, light blue in color. Technoblade finds himself pleased with the fact the colour matches Tommy's eyes, or how they used to look that is.

Walking down the staircase, spotting Tommy still on the couch, Technoblade says, "catch," before tossing the cloak at the boy.

More surprises, Tommy actually caught the cloak.

"What's this?"

"It's a cloak."

Tommy stares at Technoblade like he was the stupidest man in the overworld, "I meant, why are you giving this to me?"

It's Technoblade's turn to stare at Tommy, "we're gonna be outside, in the Arctic." He walks over to his own cloak, putting it on and he says, "it's gonna be cold."

Tommy doesn't say anything, just stares and puts the cloak on.

"You'll need boots too," Technoblade says, pulling out spare boots he keeps by the door. "Missing a shoe and all."

Technoblade's watches as the boy just looks down at his feet, like he was contemplating something.

"Why-" he starts, staring at the boots, "I mean, you have hooves, so why- why do you have boots?"

It would be odd from an outside perspective

No, Tommy is just dumb

No he isn't!

"Philza visits, and he needs boots sometimes," Technoblade explains, "he flies here but sometimes forgets to bring good shoes for the snow," he walks over to Tommy, whispering the next bit like Philza could hear them, "he's got birdbrain."

It's makes Tommy smile, so it was worth making fun of Philza for.

Then Technoblade offers the boots, Tommy taking them and putting them on. And then they are off.

"We have to feed Carl first, he complains when he isn't seen first," the piglin explains, leading Tommy to the small shelter holding the horse.

The horse himself weighs like he was annoyed. Then Technoblade enters the small basement, grabbing the horse feed and a few apples, and Carl immediately cheers up.

Tommy just stands by while Technoblade adds the feed to the tray.

Carl, apparently, is offended by that. So, he just about jumps forward and grabs at the cloak Tommy was wearing with his teeth. Carl is successful and starts pulling Tommy closer.

Technoblade almost jumps in, in case Tommy was uncomfortable with that. But he supposes that not everything about Tommy can change. Tommy still loves his animals.

"Oh, my apologies, Carl," Tommy says, giggling, "I didn't know there was a scratch tax I had to pay."

Carl neighs in a way that sounds like, "as you should." For a horse, he has an awful lot of attitude.

"Here," Technoblade says, handing Tommy an apple.

Tommy takes it without a need for an explanation, immediately offering it to Carl. "Please accept this apple as a peace offering," the boy says, in a posh accent.

Carl, of course, takes it without hestion. Causing Tommy to giggle some more.

They spend a few more minutes for Carl. Mostly so Technoblade can take care of the horse's shelter. But also because Tommy is the most like how he remembers. And Technoblade can't bring himself to stop pretending that everything is normal.

It also is nice that Carl isn't bothering him while he tries to clean. And that's the reason Technoblade will tell Tommy if the boy asks.

Once he was done cleaning, he stands up, "alright, now to the turtles."

Tommy's head spins around so fast Technoblade think he gets whiplash, "you have turtles?!"

Technoblade's ears pin back to his head at the volume, but still manages to nod, "uh, yeah, I do."

"Why are you only telling me now? Where are they? Why else are you not telling me?"

So looooud

At least he feels safe to be loud?

I wish he didn't

Technoblade shakes his head, he can feel the headache coming back. When he opens his eyes again, closing them from the volume both outside and inside his head, he sees Tommy looking away and his shoulders tense. The boy keeps glancing at him too.

"I didn't think it was important," Technoblade says.

Tommy just nods, slowly though, like he was waiting for... something. Technoblade is reminded of the old, faded, lemon yellow bruises on Tommy's back, contrasting against the new, vibrant, purm purple bruises. Of the scars, jagged and messy, straight and clean, that show up just about everywhere on the boy.

Technoblade coughs, trying to get rid of the images of just how Tommy got those scars and bruises, "I can show you where they are."

The boy looks at Carl, pats the horse's nose one last time before looking towards Technoblade again. He smiles, but something is off about it. Like he wants to smile but this is the best he can come up with.

"Lead the way, big man," Tommy says.

"They're over this way," Technoblade starts walking towards where he keeps his turtles.

It's a silent walk. Which Technoblade is shocked at just how painful it is. He misses Tommy annoying him, he misses the loudness of his yelling. How would Technoblade even say that though? Emotions and feelings are hard.

And somehow it's worse than if Technoblade was just alone. Because even then, the voices would at least be talking. And they are now, but that would have been all the noise he would have expected. So to be with someone, the loudest person Technoblade knows too, and it's silent? It's feels so wrong.

Thankfully, the turtle sanctuary was coming up, so Technoblade won't have to suffer for too much longer.

They come to the fencing, seeing turtles and a small beach Technoblade had built for them. Technoblade reaches the gate first, opening it and walking through to hold it open for Tommy. Only for the boy to be standing still.

"Tommy?"

Tommy shakes his head, "yeah?"

"You good?" Technoblade feels an eyebrow raise and his legs taking a step closer to the boy.

He shakes his head again. "Yeah," he says, "yeah, just- shocked turtles could survive here. In the cold, you know?"

Something feels wrong, that same off feeling coming back. The piglin squints at the boy, "yeah, I figured a way to heat this area up."

Tommy tilts his head, walking closer, "how?"

"I buried some magma blocks under the sand," Technoblade says, as Tommy finally walks through the gate, "it's like a heated floor."

Tommy looks at Technoblade, amazement on his face, "really? Like, actually?"

Technoblade just nods.

"Cool," Tommy looks down at the sand.

The piglin walks over to the small shed that holds everything needed for the turtles. He walks in and grabs the feed for them, a mix of fish and algae and some other things.

When Technoblade walks back out, he see Tommy crouching down near the egg. Technoblade acts on instinct.

"No, no," he sets the food down, "get away from those."

The boy just about jumps to get far away from the eggs. "I didn't- I-"

Technoblade kneels down, examining the eggs, looking for cracks. "Did you touch them?" He looks toward Tommy.

"I didn't!" Tommy shouts, an angry expression on his face before shifting into fear and then nothing. "I didn't touch them, it's eggs, they're fragile."

Technoblade will process the switch in emotions from Tommy later, for now he breathes a sigh of relief. "Good, that's-" he lets out another sigh, "I'm sorry for yellin', they're just-" he stands up, dusting the sand off his pants. "Zombies like to smash the eggs, and I've lost so many, man, you have no idea." It's an attempt at humor.

Tommy blinks, and then gets a little smile. It's still off, but it's something.

Technoblade doesn't want anyone to be scared of him anymore. He doesn't want Tommy to be scared of him anymore.

"Zombies are assholes." The smile doesn't feel so off.

Technoblade returns it.

Chapter Text

Tommy and Technoblade talk about how awful Zombies are, and then Skeletons and then Creepers, all the way to the barn Technoblade has.

The barn is huge, but Tommy never doubted that. He just wasn't aware of how huge it is. Technoblade opens the big doors, almost struggling. Tommy almost offers to help, just as Technoblade gets the doors open.

It is immediately louder than before. From quiet and empty of the Arctic to pigs oinking and chickens clucking and cows mooing. It's a stark difference and Tommy jumps at the volume.

"Should've given ya a warnin'," Technoblade says, shrugging as he walks into the barn. "Sorry."

Tommy shrugs back, before b-lining to the cows. He hears Technoblade huff a laugh. He ignores Technoblade, instead Tommy pets the cow closest to the fence in the area they are in.

There are three separate areas for the three animals. The cow's area takes up the whole back wall of the barn. The pig's and chicken's areas take up the side walls. There's a second floor that Technoblade was climbing up a ladder to get to.

"Watch out," Technoblade says, causing Tommy to turn around and watch as the piglin drops chicken feed from the second floor.

Tommy jumps and covers his ears, backing up into the cow he was petting. It's loud, it's loud and that means Dream is mad. Dream gets mean when he's mad. And if Dream is mad that means Tommy is the punching bag. Tommy doesn't want to be strapped down and tested on again, or be an actual punching bag.

He can almost feel the straps around his wrists and his ankles, his arms and his legs, around his neck. Tommy can almost feel the needles and scalpels presses against his skin, stealing blood and skin samples. He can almost hear the disgustingly sweet lie of "just don't move and it won't hurt." It was always a lie, Tommy knew. Even if he stopped breathing to not move, it always hurt.

Or, Tommy could feel Dream's fist hitting his stomach so hard he throws up. The prick would kick his back, just to laugh as Tommy would fall to the floor and get another bruise on his face. Sometimes, Dream would use his axe and sword, leaving deep wounds and messy scars. Luckily, that was only on really bad days.

But so none of that actually happens, Tommy has to be good and on his best behavior. He straightens on and drops his hands. 'Be perfect.' he thinks. 'If your perfect, you can't be destroyed.' But there's something on his shoulder.

He turns and looks at a cow? Dream hates cows. No, Dream hated anything Tommy liked. It's part of why Tommy ran away.

"Sorry," Technoblade is saying. Because Tommy isn't with Dream anymore, he's safe. "That's really the best way to get the feed for the animals down, safety and all that."

"Right, that makes sense." Tommy turns back around, beginning to pet the cow again.

Tommy hears Technoblade starting to feed the chickens. And they fall into a peaceful silence. Tommy petting as many cows as he can reach and Technoblade feeding the chickens and then the pigs.

Technoblade says something, but it's far to quiet for Tommy for hear. "What did you say?" He asks, while turning around to face the piglin.

The man himself stands up from where he was petting one of the pigs, Technoblade tilts his head. "I didn't... say anything." His eyebrows are scrunched together, "did you hear something?"

"Well, yeah," Tommy says, turning around to the cow. Her name is Mary. "I thought I did, anyway. Must have been the wind." He shrugs.

"Yeah," Technoblade draws out, "must've."

They enter another silence, this one far less peaceful and containing Technoblade giving Tommy weird glances. Like Tommy was being studied.

Tommy hates it.

He hates feeling like a bug under a microscope. He hates feeling like he was back on that operating table. He hates feeling watched, only watched, 'he was just there to watch me.' He hates feeling like he was strange or weird. He hates being reminded of the past he was desperately trying to forget.

"Stop it," Tommy says, with a carefully calm voice. He tacks on a quiet, "please."

Technoblade doesn't say anything, but he does stop glancing at Tommy.

Finally, they finished feeding the animals. Or, Technoblade finished feeding the animals. Tommy simply says his goodbyes to Mary and followes.

The acquaintances? Friends? Quietly, something in his mind whispers, brothers? Tommy shushes it. Tommy knows that at best he was a guest, at worst... he was a nuisance that was going to be thrown away at the soonest opportunity. Whatever, they walked back to Technoblade's cabin. Technoblade says nothing, so Tommy doesn't say anything either. He also knows that people don't like loud, especially Tommy's loud. So, being smart and learning for the many, many years of experience, he wouldn't talk unless he needed to.

Plan for the worst, or something.

They went in a circle when taking care of the animals, so it's a short walk back to the cabin. Carl neighs at them as they pass by. They walk up the stairs and enter the house.

"Take your boots off," Technoblade says, while shaking off his hooves.

Tommy does as told and goes over to sit on the couch after.

Once Technoblade seems satisfied with whatever it is he's doing, he says, "alright, I'll be in the basement." He walks over to a ladder hidden by a staircase closet. "If you need me, holler or come on down." And with that, Technoblade is gone.

Tommy turns back around from looking at the stairs. He watches the fire, it's definitely not as hot as it could be, but it's still pretty.

Suddenly the door to the basement opens again, causing Tommy to jump and spin around so fast he gets dizzy. It's just Technoblade, looking awkward and lost.

"Uh, make yourself at home, by the way," Technoblade looks around, "pretty much anywhere is free for you. Just stay out of my room."

Tommy simply nods, the piglin returns the gesture before leaving. Again. Tommy watches the door for half a minute just to be sure Technoblade is actually gone this time.

Once sure, he turns back to watch the fire. And then is immediately bored this time. So, Tommy looks around the room for something to do.

There's posters of Technoblade and Philza, Tommy can't say he is shocked because that would be lying. And lying is what wrong'uns do.

There are also a lot of books. Several shelves filled to the brim with books. Tommy almost worries for the furniture, poor things look like they are about to break.

No matter, Tommy still gets up and dares to find something to read.

Besides, Technoblade did say to make himself at home. He really should have thought that through if he didn't mean it. It's really all his fault, not Tommy's.

Scanning the spines with fancy titles, Tommy finds most of the books are about Greek history. He just looks for one that catches his eye.

There's Theseus and the Minotaur. Icarus and his wings. Midas and his greed. And then, a blue spine with fancy silver writing, is the Odyssey.

Tommy plucks it off the shelf, gently opening it up to read the first page. This could keep his attention for a few minutes at least. So Tommy walks over to the couch to return to his spot, quietly reading the story.

It's just about a man returning from war that just wants to go home, to his wife and child. 'Seems simple enough,' Tommy thinks, 'so why is the book so long?'

Because, as it turns out, it was not simple. Not even in the slightest. And Tommy was so invested in the story that he didn't realize how long it's been. He didn't realize how hungry he was getting. And he didn't realize that Technoblade had stopped enchanting and had come up the ladder.

That is, until the man coughed.

Tommy snaps the book shut and sits up straight as a rod. "Sorry," he says, already getting up to put the book back, "sorry, I wasn't- I shouldn't- sorry. I'm sorry."

"No, Tom-" Technoblade sighs. Tommy turns around, now empty handed and the book returned to its place on the shelf and the piglin has he's hands held out in a placating motion. "It's fine, I said to make yourself at home."

Tommy tilts his head, "but... it's your books." He fidgets with his fingers, picking at the skin around his nails. "You like your books."

Technoblade seems to go to say something but stops. He drops one hand, the other moving to pinch the bridge of his nose. He mutters something too faint for Tommy to hear, before staring at Tommy and starting again. "I do like my books, but I trust you not to damage them."

Looking down, Tommy thinks. He thinks that this doesn't make sense. Dream would have him bleeding over this, but Technoblade is talking so nicely and with such patience. Like Tommy was something sweet, like he deserved the gentleness. But that couldn't be true. He looks up at Technoblade again, "really?"

And Technoblade tilts his head this time, "of course." He says. Quickly, like it didn't need any more thought. Like it was obvious. "I know you know that I like my books, so I know you won't damage them. You're a gremlin, not a jerk."

"So, I can finish reading it?"

"Yes, Tommy, you can finish reading it." Technoblade rolls his eyes as he says it. He's smiling too.

Tommy looks out the window.

...someone is coming.

Tommy's eyebrows scrunch up. "Someone is coming."

"What?" Tommy hears Technoblade walk over, and feels him over his shoulder. "There's no one there, Tommy, why.." Technoblade doesn't finish his question. He asks a different one. "Do you know who?"

Tommy shakes his head. "I don't think they're safe." He breathing quickens, heart pumping faster. Something prey like in his mind is paying attention now. Suddenly, he feels warm, sticky liquid coming from his fingers. Looking down, he sees blood. "Oh."

There is a beat and Technoblade's hands come to wrap around Tommy's hands. Making him turn, but more importantly causing Tommy to freeze in place.

He felt trapped. Technoblade was in front of him, a hold on his hands and there was a bookcase behind him. Tommy had nowhere to go. So he stared. Staring at Technoblade for any sign that the man was going to hurt Tommy. Any sign that suggested the other shoe was going to drop and the piglin was going to act on his hero threat.

Technoblade was done examining his hands and looked back out the window. "Follow me," he says while pulling the curtains closed and walking up the stairs.

Tommy, trapped in the thought of possibly getting hurt, followed obediently.

Watching Technoblade's back go into the bathroom. Tommy was going to follow him, but he leaves just as quickly, a small box in his hands.

"Come on," the man says, as he starts walking towards his room. Technoblade opens the door and walks in.

It's a gorgeous room. Tommy didn't get that good of a look when he was... scavenging, he'll say. Anyway, Tommy had only glanced at it before seeing the loud amount of gold and decided it wouldn't be worth the risk of upsetting the probably piglin house owner to go looking for supplies in it. Tommy may not be the smartest, but he wasn't a fool.

The room had dim lighting, even with the noon sun. The curtains seemed to block out enough of the sun to not be obnoxious but not so much to make it hard to see. And the bookshelves. If Tommy thought the shelves in the living room were a lot, Technoblade's room was like a library. Floor to ceiling and wall to wall, so many books that some were on the floor. Well, not all the way wall to wall. There seemed to be a desk in the middle of the left wall and a wardrobe on the right. A stack of what Tommy assumed were books that Technoblade was currently reading sitting on a small side table. Small because the mattress was on the floor.

Pillows forming a semicircle against the wall, which was also the wall the window was on. 'The curtains must be pinned down somehow,' Tommy muses quietly. Blankets were also thrown everywhere. That was the most shocking to Tommy. He thought that Technoblade, for all the piglin's punctuality for everything else, would have made his bed. But no, it's simply a mess.

There was also, as previously stated, gold everywhere. Chains of it dripping off the shelves and curtains. Rings, necklaces, bracelets, and even a few crowns on the floor around the mattress. The carpeted floor gives a soft place for the jewelry, at least.

"Are you just going to stand there?"

Tommy snaps back to Technoblade.

Technoblade was sitting cross legged on the mattress, the box still in his hands.

Tommy realizes, just now, that Technoblade was inviting the blond into his room. Tommy stayed where he was by the door.

Technoblade seems to read his mind. "You can come in." He pats the spot next to him, "it's fine."

And because there seems to be a weird rush to Technoblade, a hurry in his voice. And because Tommy remembers that unsafe and "danger is coming" feeling when he looked out the window. Because there seems to be a static in the air that screams something is going to happen, does Tommy walk into the room.

He quietly sits on the mattress, knees pulled to his chest with his socked feet still on the carpet.

Technoblade holds out his hand, expecting. Tommy puts his hand in his. Technoblade opens the box, revealing that it is a first aid kit. Plasters of all sizes, tape, cleaning wipes and a few other things lay neatly organized.

Technoblade grabs one of the cleaning wipes and wipes it across Tommy's palm, reaching for the other hand when he's done. Then he grabs gauze and the tape. He places the gauze on Tommy's right palm first, "hold this," he says. Tommy does. Technoblade then wraps tape around the gauze and the blond's hand. The piglin repeats this process for Tommy's left hand.

Putting everything back in the box, Technoblade starts talking. "The person is probably Dream."

Tommy freezes again. He doesn't know he didn't think of the man first, but of course it's him. Of course it's Dream, of course Tommy can't even have forty-eight hours of peace away from that man. Technoblade's voice becomes static to Tommy's ears. Becoming background noise to his own thoughts.

It's not like he risked his life running in snow that went up to his calves. It's not like he could have died by Technoblade's hand. It's not like he was going to kill himself just to get away from Dream, to be free of him. To be free of the pain. He knew it was a mistake to aim for the water at the last minute. God, he was so close. So close to freedom.

But now Dream has found him and Tommy is going to die. Technoblade has no reason to protect him. And the piglin could not care less if Tommy died. So obviously when Dream knocks on the door asking for Tommy, Technoblade will be more than happy to deliver the blond on a silver platter. Happy to be rid of the thorn in his side.

Tommy just wished he could see Tubbo one last time, maybe even Ranboo.