Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The moment he heard the proposal come out of the doctor's mouth, Aventurine laughed. The good doctor could sometimes be very hilarious. After laughing for quite a while, Ratio's serious expression didn't change at all, making his smile of amusement falter almost imperceptibly.

"You didn't really mean it, did you, Ratio?" he asked with a tone that expressed his disbelief.

Ratio frowned slightly, letting out a sigh. "Indeed, I did." Was the blunt and direct answer.

Aventurine blinked for a few seconds in bewilderment, sitting up straighter on his seat in the hotel room where he was staying. After everything that had happened on Penacony, since Aventurine was temporarily off duty, he was assigned to stay at a hotel on a planet near Pier Point.

Ratio would not have to be with him in the first place. Even though the Doctor of Chaos assigned by the IPC already made sure that no trace of Nihility was left in him, Ratio insisted on continuing to check on him. As it was Dr. Ratio himself offering, the IPC accepted and left the rest of Aventurine's recovery under his care.

Right now, the gambler was momentarily speechless before he let out a laugh again. No way. The proposal was totally outlandish, coming from someone as smart as Ratio. Join the Astral Express? No way, he couldn't just run away from his position in the IPC just because. It would be too sudden and... They probably wouldn't even accept him anyway.

"Doc, I appreciate your concern," he began to say, his smile back in place. "But I'll be fine. There's no way someone like me would be on the Astral Express. Besides, my luck has never failed me before." He stated confidently.

"But it could," Ratio said instead, with a complicated expression. "Gambler, you destroyed your cornerstone, the greatest offense you could commit. You know very well what the outcome will be if they decide to punish you."

Aventurine's smile slowly faded and his expression went blank. Under the table, one of his hands began to tremble slightly. He knew, of course, he knew. It wasn't too hard to deduce when, in the beginning, his only choice was to work for the IPC or end up on the gallows. Despite trusting his luck, there was always that small feeling of doubt and fear that maybe, just maybe, at some point he would lose the bet.

Besides, he knows what the procedure is like. He knew very well that it didn't exactly sit well with most of his coworkers in the Stonehearts. At best, perhaps he could count on Topaz and Jade's vote. And even if he made it through the voting phase, in the end it was Diamond who had the final say.

And maybe that was his best chip in this gamble. As long as he was useful, a useful asset, Diamond would not let him go so easily. As long as he was a useful tool for the IPC, his survival would be assured, regardless of whether his colleagues wanted to take this opportunity to get rid of him.

And yet... It felt as if Ratio knew that very well. That in reality, Aventurine did have a chance of coming out of this situation well. But even knowing that, it seemed like Ratio had actually been waiting for an opportunity like this, a chance to offer him a way out.

Or perhaps they had both been equally affected after Aventurine had risked his life like that in the dreamscape. Aventurine still didn't want to stop and dwell on everything that had happened, on the introspection he had had with himself. Ratio had already tried to ask, but Aventurine had closed himself like an iron door and was determined to stay that way.

Lost in thought, Aventurine finally let out a sigh, controlling the trembling in his hand. "Ratio," he cocked his head slightly, speaking with a firmer tone this time. "There is no way they would accept someone like me."

He was about to say more, but Ratio wouldn't be quiet. "I already talked to them," he said instead. He folded his arms and snorted almost offended, as if he hadn't already thought of everything. "And they're more than willing to take you in." The gambler's expression of utter surprise caused Ratio's hard look to soften slightly. "The Nameless always keeps their doors open to anyone who wants to join them."

Aventurine averted his gaze for a moment and then looked back at him. "I threatened to kill them."

"I think, at this point, it's evident to say they already realized it was all an act of yours."

He sighed again, thinking of any other excuse he could use to flatly deny Ratio's proposal. He couldn't help but let out a mirthless laugh. "The IPC won't let me leave that easy."

Ratio stared at him. "They don't need to know," was his terse reply, without any qualms. "Right now, you are under my care for an indefinite time. You could simply leave and they wouldn't know until much later."

Aventurine didn't think he could express as much disbelief as he did at that moment, practically open-mouthed. "Doctor, you're asking me to just defect from the IPC, just like that?" this was a surprise. Why was Ratio so enthusiastic about this idea? "Besides, I'm under contract. They'll drag me back to them once they find out."

"Not if you go to the Express,” Ratio did have something to refute his every word. "They can protect you. Even when the IPC finds out, they'll have to think more than twice before messing with the Nameless. They won't want to risk breaking the alliance they're just beginning to cement."

There was a moment of silence between them. Ratio seemed to be waiting for the gambler to say something again, some excuse that he would refute without batting an eye. Aventurine noticed this, and suddenly pulled himself together again, with an extremely plastic smile.

"You really thought of everything, eh Doctor?" his tone was a soft purr, but his expression was completely closed, eyes sharp as he seemed to analyze the professor. "I don't understand what your goal is with this."

Ratio was undeterred by the gambler's sudden defensiveness. "I thought I made myself quite clear with the note I gave you," his gaze wandered for a moment, his expression oddly wistful before turning back to Aventurine. "I want you to live."

As if those simple words were capable of explaining all his reasoning behind it. Aventurine barely reacted, but his expression softened. Was that all he was going to say? Aventurine was still grappling with why the doctor would be there with him in the first place. Ratio was always a good partner on missions, the only one capable of following his sharp mind and working with him. Even if he always had the slight impression that the doctor didn't care much for him.

Though after what happened in the dreamscape, and then that note...

"I'll consider it." It was Aventurine's quick and final response, rising from his seat, almost stumbling. For a moment he noticed that Ratio wanted to say something, but he had already crossed the threshold of the door, retreating towards the bedroom adjacent to that room.

He closed the door, leaning against it and letting out a sigh he didn't know he had been holding back. Now, being alone, Aventurine let his closed expression break for a moment, tired. He lay back on his bed without changing his clothes and stared at the wall for several minutes, in a silence that was too heavy. The lights were off, and the small bedroom became stuffy.

He became conscious of catching his breath, realizing that he had stopped breathing. He needed to distract himself before he...

Slowly, he pulled out his phone to check his messages. He had no new messages, though he had expected that, so with nothing else to check he turned to his chat with the Trailblazer. The last time he wrote to him was to explain what happened to him after the Emanator's blade strike. He didn't think much when he did it, but he felt he had to when he read the message the Trailblazer had left him.

"See you later. Hope to see you again soon"

That was the response he received from Caelus to his scheduled message. Aventurine closed his eyes and set his phone aside, his thoughts scattered. That gray-haired boy sure was too naive a fool to want to see him again, even more so after he actively drew him into his magnificent show, where he threatened to detonate the Stellaron inside him.

But then there was that message, and then Ratio mentioning the Express' willingness to take him in with them. They wouldn't accept something like that if they believed Aventurine was a threat.

No, there was no chance. He was to remain in the IPC, in his position as Stoneheart. It was all he had ever known, and there was nothing beyond it. He couldn't just risk it all, throw away everything he'd earned so far just for a fleeting possibility of... what, freedom?

Is that what he had unconsciously been looking for? By risking his life in the dreamscape, was that the reward he was hoping for?... Could the Astral Express really offer him that?

Amid his turbulent thoughts, he let out a small amused snort to himself. Of course, he could risk everything on the smallest possibility. That was just the way he was, wasn't it? Putting all the chips on the table and waiting for his luck to make him win, as it always did. The odds were never on his side, but he always ended up coming out on top.

Maybe... He could try to make this gamble. What else could he lose if he failed?

He picked up the phone next to him and read the message again. Perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad thing to consider. With that last thought in mind, he set the phone down on the nightstand and fell asleep in the darkened room.

Early the next morning, he was already in the common room where he had been yesterday, after Ratio had done the daily check-ups that he said the gambler still needed. The doctor did not say a single word related to their conversation yesterday, and maintained a relatively comfortable silence. A smart move on his part to keep Aventurine from running away again.

At this moment, Ratio quietly noted down his observations on a tablet, while Aventurine simply remained seated in the same chair he had sat in yesterday, tapping his fingers lightly against the table. After thinking about it last night and then more that morning, Aventurine was feeling particularly bold.

"I'll do it," he stated suddenly, stopping the tapping of his fingers and looking at the doctor with a serious look. "I want to join the Astral Express."

The silence suddenly became heavy. Ratio stood perfectly still for a few seconds, then looked at him with a mildly surprised expression. "I didn't think you'd make up your mind so quickly." As he said this, his brow furrowed slightly. "You can think about it more if you want to. You don't need to make a decision like that so rushed just because you feel pressured."

Aventurine's expression relaxed a little, smiling wryly. "Doc, weren't you actively trying to talk me into it yesterday? Why those words so suddenly now?"

"I offered you an alternative to your current situation, one which I personally prefer.” Ratio set the tablet down on the table, folding his arms and holding the gambler's gaze with no problem. "But that doesn't take away from the fact that you're the one making the final decision, and you haven't thought about it for more than a day."

Aventurine pouted playfully and leaned back against his seat. "Well, I've made my decision and thought it through." He really hadn't, but if he didn't say yes now, he never would. "I like risks, and I'm willing to take a risk on this."

Ratio's brow furrowed even more, as if he could read through the foolish gambler's words. After a short struggle of glances, Ratio relaxed his expression, letting out a snort in slight annoyance. Once Aventurine made a decision, he remained incredibly stubborn and there was no way to make him change his mind about it.

"In that case, I'll let them know," Ratio finally said in defeat, though he also didn't seem too exasperated as he had on other occasions. Probably because he was not displeased with the decision, despite it being hastily made.

Aventurine felt curious about it. Ratio really seemed to think that Aventurine would be better off with the Nameless ones. What exactly was making him think that way? Was there something that Ratio knew and he didn't? Mm, he would have to find out on his own, if that was the case.

From his seat, he watched the doctor pull out his phone. He couldn't see who he was texting, but he could already guess who it must be. Suddenly his decision felt more tangible and true, and he realized that perhaps he had indeed been too hasty.

Could he still regret it? Probably. Was he going to? Not at all, he would dive straight in head first. He was going to handle this new change the way he always did, by gambling and winning.

...

Actually, maybe he should have thought better of it.

Chapter Text

A few days after making his decision, Ratio helped him make the preparations.

Aventurine only had a couple of changes of clothes that Ratio had brought him to his room in this hotel, since the rest was still in his apartment in Pier Point. Anyway, he wasn't going to need anything else from there. Everything he had there was just a bunch of expensive, meaningless stuff that he didn't even use and was there to fill space.

When he was ready, he was waiting in the main room of the hotel room when Ratio appeared before him with a strange device. After activating something, the device turned into a Space Anchor, the trailblaze technology that the Nameless used to teleport in and out of the Express. It was the first time Aventurine had seen one from so close, looking curiously at the interesting shape.

"This is the most discreet way for you to enter the Astral Express without you having to leave this hotel room." Ratio explained next to him. Boy, had the Doctor really thought of everything.

Aventurine looked somewhat suspiciously at the Space Anchor, cocking his head to one side. After a few seconds of contemplation, he finally slung the strap of his bag over his shoulder, reaching out towards the Space Anchor. He stepped back suddenly when he realized that Ratio didn't look like he was going to follow him.

"You plan to leave me to deal with them all alone?" said Aventurine with a sly smile, though his tone held a slight hint of uncertainty.

Ratio looked at him for a few moments and let out a soft sigh. "I'm sorry, but there are some matters I still need to take care of." His gaze drifted slightly, as if he wanted to avoid giving any more details. Aventurine arched an eyebrow and for a moment decided he was going to question him, but he immediately retracted it, closing his mouth.

"Of course." The slight bitterness in his voice showed through more than he expected, and he hoped Ratio hadn't noticed it too much. He absently arranged the glasses over his eyes, turning his attention back to the Space Anchor.

Whether Ratio noticed or not, he gave no sign of it. "Let me know when you're fully settled in," he said from behind him. Aventurine did not turn to him, and Ratio still kept talking. "After all, your recovery is still under my care."

"Sure, I will." He repeated without paying much attention.

Aventurine again extended his hand towards the Space Anchor, and though he tried not to, he turned around to look at Ratio one last time. Catching his gaze, Ratio offered him a slight nod, causing him to quickly turn his attention back to the Space Anchor. Finally, he came close enough for the Space Anchor to detect him, enveloping him in a bright blue light that blinded him, vanishing him from where he stood.

Now alone, Ratio looked down, his expression complicated and conflicted. He pulled out his phone and dialed a particular number, waiting until someone answered on the other end of the line. Ratio spoke.

"Mrs. Jade-"

He still had some matters to take care of.

The sensation of warping, although to be expected, took him by surprise for a moment. The teleportation was so fast that before he knew it, he was standing in the middle of the famous Astral Express. He blinked for a second, looking around cautiously, taking as his first main view the large windows that showed the vast extension of outer space.

Suddenly, as he gazed at the universe before him, he began to become more conscious of his decision and his lips tightened slightly at the bitter feeling of doubt and regret that was rising in his chest. What am I doing? I should have said no. I should have said no. I should have said no. I should have said no-

"Aventurine," said a voice behind him. Aventurine reacted and turned around, seeing that all the Nameless were present, as if they had been waiting for him. The first to approach him, of course, was Caelus, who had a big smile of excitement on his face, though he was clearly trying to appear composed. "We've been waiting for you."

Aventurine quickly took off his glasses and smiled at him, with the same kind of smile he had used when he first met them at the reverie hotel in reality. "Mr. Stellaron! Finally we meet again in person. I didn't expect to have you all present here."

"Well, Mr. Aventurine," a tall red-haired woman, whom Aventurine recognized as Himeko, the navigator of the Express, began to speak. "It is appropriate that we are all gathered here to welcome our newest member. Welcome to the Astral Express."

"I'm March 7th!" A pink-haired girl exclaimed lively. Aventurine definitely remembered her. "We didn't get a chance to properly introduce ourselves earlier. It's good to know you're okay after that big attack Acheron made-"

"March," a dark-haired boy interrupted her with a slight warning tone. March let out a nervous chuckle at her own words, accepting the scolding and giving Aventurine an apologetic smile. Then, the boy turned to him, looking at him without much expression. "I'm Dan Heng. We haven't met before, since I wasn't in Penacony at first. Still, they told me about you and what happened."

Aventurine could only imagine what he must have been told. The threats, the assassination attempt and his subsequent defeat must have been interesting stories.

"And this is Mr. Yang," Caelus introduced the tall bespectacled man, who nodded towards him. "Well, actually it's Welt Yang, but to us it's Mr. Yang." He explained, pointing to himself, Dan Heng and March. The older man smiled slightly at that.

"It's a pleasure to have you here," Welt spoke this time. "At the time Doctor Ratio's proposal took us by surprise, but after telling us a bit about your current situation and your indirect help on Penacony, we agreed that as long as you want to be part of the Astral Express, we'll keep our doors open for you."

Pursing his lips slightly, Aventurine couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable about how much Ratio would have told them. Before he could say anything, his eyes widened slightly as he saw a small creature with large ears approach in short strides, until it was only a couple of steps away from him.

"Of course, that's only as long as you follow the rules," the creature said, leaving Aventurine puzzled by what he was seeing. "I'm Pom-Pom, the conductor. Look, Pom-Pom will tell you this once and only once. No matter how special or important you've been in the IPC, you're just like everyone else here, so remember that and refrain from the rules."

"What..."

To his own surprise, he was speechless. Caelus came up beside him with a knowing smile. "Don't let him intimidate you, Pom-Pom is nicer than he looks."

Aventurine looked back up at the Trailblazer and then at everyone else present. This... This was not what he had expected at all. He didn't know what exactly he had expected but it definitely hadn't been as friendly and warm a welcome as this. It was strange, very strange.

The robotic, frivolous smile he had been flashing softened ever so slightly, not knowing what to say. He took a step back, not wanting to show his discomfort.

"Okey, I'm not sure how much Ratio has told you, but-"

"We can talk about that later," Himeko interrupted him gently. "You should get settled in first. We've already assigned you a room, Caelus and March will guide you there."

Both Caelus and March smiled brightly, nodding. Aventurine followed them hesitantly, leaving the car they were in to the next car. He could feel everyone else's gaze on his back, but he didn't say anything about it.

He had to admit that the interior of the Express looked very nice, even elegant. The large windows that showed the outside space, added to the bright, warm lights, gave a cozy feeling throughout the place, totally different from the empty, cold feeling Aventurine felt when he entered the IPC offices.

"This is the Express Sleeper Compartment. This is where everyone's rooms are," March explained to him as the three of them made their way through the car, until they stopped at the final door. "This is your room! At the end of the hallway."

"And next to mine," Caelus added. They both pointed to the door, as if expecting Aventurine to be the first to open it.

He did. The room was relatively small, fairly empty. It had only a bed and a couple of closets. Aventurine moved forward and looked around with a strange feeling in his chest, leaving his bag on the bed.

"Afterward, you can customize your room however you want! You know, paint the walls, add a little personality there and here, no problem with that." March laughed lightly, probably thinking of his own room.

"We'll let you put your stuff away, then head back to the parlor car, we'll be waiting for you." Caelus nodded to March for them both to leave the room that now belonged to Aventurine.

Finally alone, Aventurine let out a sigh that he didn't know he had been holding back. Wow, this was really happening. He didn't realize how sudden everything was until this moment. He looked around again, still with that strange feeling he couldn't quite identify. It didn't feel like a bad feeling, anyway, it felt like something good, almost welcome.

This room was nothing like his own apartment at Pier Point. His apartment was luxurious, expensive, without any soul or sense of comfort or home. Most of the time Aventurine only went there to sleep and nothing else. This place, on the other hand... Maybe it was too soon to tell, but it wasn't too bad.

Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad after all.

Too soon to think that. After unpacking the few things he had brought with him, he again headed for the parlor car, already knowing the way. At this point, again as the center of attention of the rest of Nameless, he stopped feeling relaxed and secure as he had when he had been alone in his now new room.

"It's a surprise that you actually decided to board with us." It was Himeko who spoke first. "If you are wondering what the Doctor told us, well, it was that due to your actions at Penacony, you are not in the best position under the IPC's eye right now," she explained calmly, without giving too many details.

But March was a bit more direct. "Are they going to punish you for destroying your cornerstone? Seems a bit excessive to me... Aren't you supposed to have completed your mission?" she asked with both hands on her hips, as if indignant.

Aventurine let out a small, unamused chuckle. "The cornerstone of the Stonehearts is extremely valuable, and worth more than our own lives," he stated, as if it was no big deal. "I was already expecting that outcome." Perhaps he hadn't worried at the time because he had expected not to come back in the first place.

"Anyway," Himeko spoke again, in that voice that seemed to attract the attention of everyone present without any effort. "Ratio gave us to understand the consequences you might come to receive, and honestly, we made a unanimous decision to take you in here, as long as you agreed."

"Anyone can decide to board the Astral Express," this time the little big-eared creature spoke. Pom-Pom, apparently. "It's not like it's the first time the train has taken in people who decide to run away from the IPC and go their own way." He grumbled lower and to himself.

Aventurine frowned slightly. Was that what he was doing? Running away from the IPC? Ugh, he had already decided to come here, so he couldn't blame Ratio anymore even if he wanted to. The Doctor had simply taken it upon himself to offer him the way and Aventurine was the one who decided to take it, much to his disgrace.

"I'm glad you decided to come with us!" exclaimed Caelus. "As long as you're here you'll be fine, you won't have to worry about the IPC." Beside him, Dan Heng nodded at his words, keeping quiet, but offering that small gesture of acknowledgement.

Wasn't everyone being too... Kind? This seemingly selfless kindness wasn't giving Aventurine any kind of good feeling. In his experience, when people were too kind to him it was because they expected something in return, no one did something completely selflessly without expecting to receive nothing.

But what did they want, then? Aventurine tried to think of why the Nameless were doing this. All of them, especially Himeko and Welt were looking at him in such a... compassionate way, although he could see the effort not to make it obvious. Had Ratio told them more? Or had this already come from his mission in the dreamscape?

As if his mind had found an answer, the very words he had spoken before their confrontation echoed in his head: "I came from the wastelands of Sigonia. For just sixty red copper coins, people paid to brand me, put me in chains, place me in the gallows, and bury me in the golden sands..."

Oh, he had said too much. Aventurine had to admit to himself that he had been overdramatic at the time, and knowing that part of his past had slipped out to him made him even more uncomfortable. Hopefully he was just overthinking and the Nameless hadn't remembered any of it. That was the last thing he needed, their pity.

"Hey," his attention returned to the conversation when Welt spoke. "I think I speak for everyone when I say we hope to make this work. You probably won't totally trust us, but as a now new member of the Astral Express, you should know that you can count on us anytime."

Aventurine had to avert his gaze at the intensity of those words. That was too much to ask. He didn't trust anyone completely, even if he used false trust for his stratagems or tricks.

"Don't think too much about it yet," at his lack of response, Himeko looked at him with such a soft gaze that Aventurine felt sick to his stomach. "Just go with the flow, okay? It doesn't matter what the end is, what's important is the journey that leads you towards it, and all the things you do and discover along the way. That's the meaning of trailblazing." Himeko looked at Caelus, nodding to him. Caelus nodded and began to approach with a red and gold badge that was similar to the one he and the rest of the crew had on their attire.

"Officially, welcome to the Astral Express," Caelus said with an overly large and cheerful smile, extending that shiny badge to him. "Looks like I'm no longer the newest member of the Express." he said with a chuckle.

With some hesitation, Aventurine reached out and grabbed the red and gold badge, which seemed to sparkle a little more in his hands. He saw the reflection of one of his eyes in the badge and realized what an abysmal change his life was about to make, starting from now.

A small smile, not necessarily sincere, was reflected on his face, bringing the red and gold badge closer to his chest. He was still full of doubts and negative thoughts about this, but decided that for the moment he was going to pretend he didn't have them to give them and himself a false sense of security.  "I guess I'm that one now." He finally said.

What next now?