Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

We'll sneak out while they sleep

And sail off in the night

We'll come clean and start over

The rest of our lives

“You have gone too far, Fives. The Chancellor is incapable of what you claim.”

“He is!” He doesn’t believe me. No one will believe me. They have to believe me. “I swear to you, General,” Fives pleaded. “I swear to you-”

“Stand down, soldier! Stand down! Get on your knees!”

The ARC trooper spun around to see flashes of red and white closing in on him, and his disoriented mind zeroed in on their blaster barrels pointed directly at him. They work for the Chancellor. They’ll never take me alive, he thought frantically.

“No! No! No! Stay back!” Fives heard himself shouting, but barely registered his own words. He was out of time. It all happened within a few heartbeats. He glanced to his left, where Rex had laid his DC-17s. He felt a tug towards the blasters. No. His hand twitched, preparing to reach for the weapons. They’ll kill me.

Every instinct was telling him to grab Rex’s pistols, but Fives forced himself back, away from them. No. Don’t do that, he ordered himself. He snapped his head up to the Coruscant Guard, still rapidly closing. Then his feet moved.

“Fives, wait!” Rex shouted, but the ARC was already running.

Into the shadows, behind the crates, out the door, to the speeder he’d left hidden outside the warehouse. Blaster-fire sounded behind him, but his muddled brain couldn’t process what he heard. Fives felt himself stumbling, every object a blur, but somehow he made it to the speeder. He clambered on, flicked the engine start, and then he was speeding away into the Coruscant streets. He didn’t know where he was going, just that he had to get away.

They’re coming. They’ll kill me. No one will believe me. No one will. No one- His thoughts were interrupted by cold pain stabbing through his temple. The agony forced his eyes closed for a split second. He quickly pried them back open to see the city swirling around him. He saw colors and shapes, but he couldn’t recognize them.

Then he heard a crash and screeching metal pierced his ears, sending another jab through his skull. Then he was falling. He couldn’t see, couldn’t think, but his muscle memory still functioned. He landed hard, feeling a searing heat in his leg as he rolled forward out of the fall. He scrambled to his feet and fell against a wall that had appeared in front of him.

Fives whipped his head rapidly in every direction, struggling to determine what had occurred. He escaped the warehouse. Got on a speeder. Crashed. Fell. Landed. He had no idea where he was.

They’re coming. He had to keep moving. It didn’t matter where, as long as they didn’t find him. They’re coming. They’ll kill me. They’re coming. They’ll kill me. His thoughts repeated in an endless loop as he moved through the Coruscant streets.

He was trying to keep to the shadows of the buildings around him; trying not to draw attention to himself, but his vision was still blurry and his head still ached fiercely. He slipped into an alley, fighting to form enough concrete thoughts to think of a plan.

Then something struck him across the face, easily flinging him off his feet and deeper into the alley. They found me! They’re going to kill me! The thoughts screamed through his mind and he grasped for the nearest wall, attempting to pull himself back to his feet.

“What’s a clone doing all the way down here?” a voice sneered.

Scrambling back to standing, Fives spun around to face his attackers. “Stay back! No!” he shouted at the three figures that stood before him. They found me. I’m going to die. A tiny sense in the back of his mind said that the beings weren’t the right size to be clones, but his thoughts still couldn’t focus enough to make use of that information.

“Entitled meat droids,” one of the voices scoffed. “Let’s see if he has any credits on him. They belong to the Republic after all.”

The beings closed in on Fives and he raised his fists instinctively. He managed to block a couple strikes, but there were too many coming at once and his eyesight was still hardly registering more than colors and shapes. 

Something heavy slammed into his stomach, knocking him to the ground. He thought he heard himself grunt with pain as the assault focused on his rib cage, sending tremors through him with each hit. Between attacks, he attempted to rise back to his feet, only to be dragged back down as the world spun around him. I’m going to die. It doesn’t matter anymore. I’m going to die.

Then the assault stopped. Fives’ vision tilted as he squinted, trying to determine what had happened. He saw the three beings near the front of the alley now. A fourth had arrived; smaller than the others. The fourth lunged for the ARC’s attackers, striking each of them swiftly. Then the assailants were gone and only the smallest remained.

Seeing his chance, Fives tried to push to his feet once more, only for his left leg to crumble beneath him. He lifted his head to see the small being rushing towards him. No! They found me! his mind was screaming and then his voice was too. “No, wait! Stay back!”

“Fives!”

They found me. They know it’s me. They’re going to kill me.

“Fives, it’s okay!” the voice sounded again. A female voice.

The ARC blinked rapidly as sienna skin, and blue and white lekku filled his vision. A Togruta. Master Shaak Ti? She’s with them. His eyes shifted, searching for an escape.

“Fives, it’s Ahsoka Tano. You’re safe,” the Togruta said.

“Stay back!” he shouted again, as she took a step closer. I won’t make it back. They’ll kill me.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” The voice softened and Fives’ vision focused just enough to see the cerulean eyes fixed on him. “It’s Ahsoka Tano,” she said again.

It finally clicked in his disoriented brain. “Commander Tano?”

“Yes, though it’s just ‘Ahsoka’ now.” She crept another step closer and he flinched, but didn’t yell at her this time. “Fives, you’re safe.”

No, I’m not. They’re coming. They’ll find me. They’ll kill me. The thoughts circled again until his mouth was repeating them too. “They’re coming. They’ll kill me. Not safe. Nowhere is safe.”

“Who’s coming?” the commander asked, furrowing her eyebrow markings.

“The Corries,” he answered quickly. “They’ll kill me. I have to go. It’s not safe.”

He tried to stand again, but stumbled, and this time Ahsoka stepped in to catch him. He fell against her, but she held him steady, one arm looping around his back to support him.

“Fives, you’re hurt,” she said, her voice next to his ear now. “We need to get you some treatment, okay?”

No, no, they’ll find me, no. “No,” he protested weakly. “I have to go. If they find me, they’ll kill me.”

“I won’t let them find you,” she vowed. “Come with me to my apartment and I’ll make sure no one finds us while we treat your injuries.”

What if she’s part of it? She was a Jedi commander, after all. No, she’s not. Right. She left. She’s not with them.

Ahsoka waited patiently as he fought to gather his thoughts. Finally he said, “Okay.” They’ll find me. But no, the commander would keep him safe. She always had. Always. Just like-

“Fives,” Ahsoka’s voice cut off his thoughts. “You need to take your armor off. It’s too noticeable on this level.

“Good idea,” he said. It would be good not to be noticed. He began removing his armor, but his trembling fingers fumbled with some of the plates.

“Can I help you?” the commander offered, after a moment.

He nodded. He had to hide himself and fast. He didn’t care how anymore. He needed to get out of here.

Carefully, Ahsoka helped him peel off the rest of his armor, leaving him in his blacks. She moved away from him for a few seconds to toss the white armor into the alley’s dumpster. While she was discarding the plates, his eyes drifted to where his leg was still burning. His eyes widened when they landed on a blaster wound in the center of his left thigh. He had no memory of that happening.

“Let’s get back to my apartment, so we can take care of that,” the commander said, following his gaze.

“Yes,” he agreed. He realized his breathing was labored. “Yes. Thank you, Commander.”

“Call me ‘Ahsoka’,” she told him again, more sternly this time.

“Thank you, Com-Ahsoka,” he said, with a heavy exhale.

He felt his balance beginning to falter again, his legs as unstable as his vision still was. Then she was back at his side, holding him up.

“We need to go,” she said. “I’ve got you. It’s not too far.”

Fives just nodded and they made their way out of the alley, with Ahsoka supporting most of his weight. He felt safer. A little. The thoughts were still there though, only dimmer.

They’ll find me. They’ll kill me. They’ll find me. They’ll kill me.

By the time they made it to Ahsoka’s apartment, she was supporting most of Fives’ weight and she silently thanked the Force for giving her the strength to hold his much larger body. The ARC trooper, or former ARC trooper she supposed, was just as disoriented as when she’d found him in the alley, if not more so.

She’d been on her way home from her job at Trace’s garage when her montrals had picked up a distressed voice, which she immediately recognized as a clone’s, coming from an alleyway. She’d dashed toward the alley, where she found three thugs–two Nikto and a Weequay–beating a terrified clone trooper.

She had absolutely no context for the situation, but it was enough to switch on her dormant soldier-mode. One of her men needed her help. She had swiftly dispatched the assailants and hurried towards the clone.

Once the threat had been dealt with, she was able to focus on the trooper’s Force signature. She didn’t even need to see his tattoo to recognize him. Fives? 

One of the most intelligent and capable soldiers that she’d ever known was slumped on the ground in front of her, too disoriented to even recognize her at first. His head was shaved and he wore white armor, rather than his standard haircut and ARC gear. His brown eyes were darting around rapidly, as if expecting something else to attack him any second. It had taken a few minutes to convince him of who she was and that she meant him no harm.

What happened to him? It was a likely guess that he’d been drugged, based on his unstable demeanor. How could this have happened? She would have been more horrified if she weren’t currently fixated on securing Fives’ safety at her apartment.

It was actually Trace and Rafa’s apartment, but the sisters had been gracious enough to let Ahsoka turn their tiny office into her bedroom. Thank Force, they had gone out with friends for the evening and she would be able to delay explaining who Fives was and why he was there.

When they reached the building entrance, Ahsoka quickly glanced around to make sure no one was watching, then flicked her hand, opening the door with the Force, so she could keep using both arms to support Fives. He limped with her into the apartment and she used the same maneuver to turn the lights on.

The clone’s eyes widened with alarm at the change of scenery, but he seemed to quickly determine that there were no threats nearby. She wasn’t sure if this was an indication of how much he trusted her or if his fatigue was becoming too great to allow him the same level of paranoia.

In most other situations, she would have set her guest up on the couch in the living room, but whatever was going on here was far too sensitive to leave vulnerable in a common area. She guided Fives down the hallway that led to her room, where she lowered him down, so he was sitting on her bed.

“I’ll be right back,” she said and his head snapped up to look at her. His brown eyes looked more amber now in the light and they were wide with terror. “Fives, you’re safe. I can sense whoever comes near this apartment. No one will be coming in here without me knowing,” she assured him.

He nodded tensely and she took the opportunity to leave the room. She quickly gathered up the few medical supplies she had, which was really just some bacta cream and a few small patches, as well as a glass of water from the kitchen. When she returned, the clone hadn’t moved.

“Here’s some water.” She handed him the glass and exhaled with relief when he took a sip.

Now that she had the chance to look at him directly in the light, she cursed inwardly at the extent of his injuries. There was a gaping hole in his left thigh, where he’d sustained a blaster wound and his left eye was darkening by the minute. She’d felt him wince a few times when she’d accidentally bumped his ribs on the walk here, as well as when he tried to use his right hand. If she had to guess, he had at least one broken bone. It was nothing life threatening, thank Force, but it was more than her meager first aid kit would be able to handle.

“I don’t have much in the way of bacta, but I’ll do what I can, okay?” she said, kneeling in front of him.

“Thanks, Commander,” he said quietly.

“It’s ‘Ahsoka’,” she corrected again. “Look, my roommates here don’t know I used to be a Jedi or part of the GAR, and I’d rather them not know,” she explained.

“Right, sorry, A-Ahsoka.” Her name sounded awkward on his lips, but he nodded his understanding.

“Can you take your blacks off, so I can reach your injuries?” she asked.

He didn’t hesitate to strip down to his undershorts. Having spent his life surrounded by his identical brothers and the last few years in a near-constant war zone, he had no reservations about his body.

Having been on those same battlefields, Ahsoka had also seen the clones in various states of undress more times than she cared to count. Now, with both their minds set in the frame of her acting as a medic to an injured soldier, neither even blinked when he was almost naked in front of her.

His level of undress was the least of her concerns anyway. Now that his shirt was off, she could see the aggressive bruising spreading across his ribs. She could already tell they were broken. His thigh was even worse. The wound was a near-perfect circle gouged into his leg and, though it was cauterized from the laser, she could still see the layers of flesh that the bolt had cut through. As bad as his eye was beginning to look, it was one of his least serious injuries.

She only had enough bacta patches to cover his blaster wound and a portion of his ribs. She did have some cream, but that was really only meant for minor injuries. What if…

It had been months now, but Obi-Wan had taught her the basics that he knew about Force healing. No. She quickly discarded the idea. Inexperienced healers could drain themselves extensively, even when healing something small. She needed to be on full alert right now. She wasn’t sure why the Coruscant Guard, who she assumed Fives meant by “Corries”, was hunting him, but she needed to be on guard, in case she had to protect him.

She got to work cleaning and patching the blaster wound, then moved on to his ribs. Now that he’d calmed some, the clone didn’t flinch when she touched any of his injuries, though she still wished she had a stim she could use to reduce the pain that he was certainly feeling. The med kit was supposed to have one, but whoever had used it hadn’t bothered to replace it. 

When she ran out of patches, she switched to the bacta cream, carefully layering it over his uncovered ribs and, with his consent, gently applied some to the bruise around his left eye. Finally, she put some cream on his wrist, which seemed to be sprained, and bandaged it, so it wouldn’t move as much.

As she worked, she noticed Fives’ hand kept going to the back of his head. Many of the clones had a habit of rubbing the backs of their necks when they were nervous or embarrassed, but this wasn’t the gesture the former ARC was making now. It seemed more like he was getting some sort of shooting pain in his head. She felt his affliction in the Force, adding to her suspicion. She noted an incision on the side of his head, behind his tattoo and wondered if it was related.

“Can you tell me what happened?” she asked after they’d been silent for a while. When he hesitated, she added, “Why is your head shaved?” Maybe that would be an easier question to answer.

“I… I think I had surgery,” Fives answered slowly, clearly unsure.

Why in the galaxy would he have surgery? Ahsoka wondered, alarmed. “Fives, what happened?” she pressed. “Why is someone coming after you?”

She watched as he opened his mouth to answer, then his amber eyes widened with what looked like horror. “I can’t remember,” he whispered. Then his breath started to quicken with rising panic. “I don't know why. I can’t remember. I just know they’re coming. They’ll find me and kill me. I have to leave. I have to get off Coruscant. I have to… They’re coming…” His sentences began cutting off as he gasped for air.

“Fives, you’re safe!” Ahsoka placed her hands on his shoulders and he flinched, but didn’t pull away.

“No. I-I’m not safe, Commander. I’m not-”

“Fives, I need you to breathe. Look at me.” He did. “I want you to breathe in with me. Now.” She inhaled and he copied her, though his breath cut off before hers did. “Now breathe out.” She continued to guide his breathing until he was able to match her pace.

“Why don’t you get some sleep and we can make a plan in the morning?” Ahsoka suggested, once Fives’ panic had subsided.

“I can’t!” His fear flashed so strongly that she felt it in the Force without even trying. “Co-Ahsoka, I have to leave. I have to get off Coruscant. They’re not going to stop until they find me. I can’t sleep. I can’t.”

“Breathe,” she instructed, as his voice was tightening again. Having finished what she could of his medical treatment, she rose to sit on the bed next to him. “No one will know to look for you here. And if anyone comes around who isn’t supposed to be here, I’ll know. Get some rest and then we’ll make a plan to get you off world.”

“No, no, I can’t sleep.” He shook his head and subconsciously placed his hand on his temple. “Even if I try.”

“What if I use the Force to guide you to sleep?” she suggested.

“No.” He tensed again.

“Why not?”

He let out a pained sigh that was almost a sob. “I don’t know. I don’t know why. I don’t know what happened.”

“Maybe your mind is blocking it out for a reason,” she said gently. “I’m sure it’ll come back to you, but for now, the best thing you can do is take care of yourself by resting.”

“I can’t rest,” he said in a shaky whisper.

“Fives, look at me.”

He lifted his head to meet her eyes, his tortured gaze piercing her like a vibroblade. The Fives she’d known in the 501^st had always been so strong and confident. What could have possibly broken him this much?

“Do you trust me?” she asked in a soothing voice.

“Yes,” he said, after a moment’s hesitation.

“Have I ever done anything to hurt you?”

“…no.”

“Please let me help you,” she almost begged. “I’ll just help you get to sleep and we can stop any time if you’re not comfortable.”

“Okay,” he finally agreed.

She turned to face him more on the bed. Keeping her movements slow, she shifted a bit closer and reached out to take his left hand in her right. Then she placed her left hand on the right side of his head, opposite his black eye. He met her eyes and she saw a surprising amount of trust in the layers of brown.

Focusing on his gaze, she carefully reached out to feel his mind. When she first felt it, she almost recoiled, but forced herself to remain steady. It was so cold and desolate. Oh no. She didn’t know how, but a Sith had ravaged his mind, tainting it with darkness. For him not being a Force user, she was honestly shocked, but relieved, that he was still functioning. But now she would need to concentrate even harder.

Taking a deep breath, Ahsoka willed as much warmth as she could muster to the forefront of her thoughts. Then she slowly dipped into Fives’ mind. He flinched when he first felt her, but then seemed to relax as the heat of her signature pushed back the shadows. She wouldn’t be able to banish the darkness completely tonight, but she could shrink it back enough to ease him to sleep. She continued to soothe his thoughts until he began to drift into unconsciousness.

Once she knew he would fall asleep, she helped him lie down on her bed, and she kept her hand on his temple to guide him the rest of the way. When she was sure he wouldn’t wake, she removed her hand.

Only when she went to cover him with a blanket did she realize that he was still wearing nothing but his undershorts. He couldn’t wear his blacks anymore, though; they’d still be too recognizable and the one leg had a large hole from the blaster wound. She would need to figure something out by the time he woke up the next morning.

When she was certain he was sleeping peacefully, she got up from the bed, exited the room, and made her way out to the living area.

Ahsoka scooped up her datapad as she slipped out of the bedroom and settled with it on the couch. The first thing she did was access the HoloNet, looking for more information about Fives’ predicament. She wasn’t expecting to find anything quickly, but when she accessed the GAR database, using a code she still had memorized, she immediately found an all-points bulletin issued by the Coruscant Guard.

Fives was wanted for attempting to assassinate the Supreme Chancellor. What? Ahsoka didn’t know all that had transpired, but the man she’d brought here wasn’t someone who would have tried to kill anyone. She’d seen and felt his terror firsthand. No. She refused to believe that he would attempt to assassinate someone.

But the fact that this announcement existed meant that someone high up wanted the GAR and the Jedi to believe that Fives was dangerous, though she couldn’t fathom why. Then there was the fact that he’d obviously been drugged somehow.

She didn’t know what was going on, but she definitely agreed with him when he said he needed to get off Coruscant without being detected. Then maybe they could find somewhere safe to address what had happened. If Fives remembered enough to tell her.

With a sigh, she set down her datapad and laid her head back on the armrest of the couch. She couldn’t help her friend tomorrow without rest, but she’d promised to stay alert in case anyone came looking for him. She let herself drift into a light sleep, almost more of a meditation, so she could restore some energy, while remaining aware of her surroundings.

She was awoken by the feeling of two Force signatures approaching the apartment. She almost jumped up, but quickly recognized them as Trace and Rafa returning from their night out.

After a few minutes, the lock on the front door clicked and the sisters entered. Rafa was supporting a dizzy Trace, not dissimilar to how Ahsoka had supported Fives earlier, only her roommate was clearly affected by a different type of intoxication.

“How was your night?” Ahsoka asked from where she was still lying on the sofa. Both sisters looked at her in surprise.

“Fun!” Trace announced.

“That idiot Durk got her drunk,” Rafa explained, rolling her eyes.

“Is that a bad thing?” her sister pouted.

The older woman just groaned and ignored her. “Anyway, why are you on the couch, Ahsoka?”

“I have a friend using my bedroom for the night,” the Togruta answered casually.

“What friend?” Rafa asked, as the same time Trace exclaimed, “Is it a guy?”

“Yes, it’s a guy.” Ahsoka already had a feeling where Trace’s drunk mind was going.

“Then why are you out here and not in there with him?”

“Because that’s not the situation,” she explained patiently. “He just needed a place to crash, so I offered to help him out.”

“Just for the night, right?” Rafa questioned, narrowing her eyes.

“Yes, of course. He’ll be gone in the morning.”

Seeming satisfied, Rafa moved to the kitchen, while Trace stumbled towards her bedroom. Then the younger woman’s footsteps stopped and Ahsoka peered around the corner to see that she’d halted outside the room where Fives was sleeping. When Trace started to ease the door open to peek inside, Ahsoka shot up from the couch and roughly pulled her away from the doorway.

“Leave him alone!” Ahsoka hissed, placing herself between Trace and the door.

“Trace, what are you doing?” Rafa shouted from the kitchen. “Stop being immature and go to bed!”

“Ugh fine,” Trace groaned. But before she turned to go to her own room, she flashed a wink at Ahsoka. “Lucky you. He’s pretty hot, isn’t he?”

The Togruta just rolled her eyes. “Go to bed, Trace.”

When the intoxicated woman had finally vanished into her own room, Ahsoka made her way to the kitchen, where Rafa was making caf. She tilted the pot to offer some, but the Togruta declined with a wave of her hand.

“Can I ask a favor?” Ahsoka said, after a moment.

“Depends on what it is.” Rafa furrowed her brow.

“Do you have any men’s clothes that I can have?”

Her roommate’s eyes narrowed again. “Why?”

“My friend is in a bit of trouble and needs some new clothes,” she answered simply.

“Woah, woah, woah. I don’t want a fugitive hanging around my apartment. I have enough of my own problems to worry about.” Rafa said, wrinkling her nose.

“He’s not a fugitive.” Actually, that may not be true. She wasn’t going to go into all of that though. “Look, we’ll leave first thing in the morning. He just needs some new clothes. Please.”

“You’re leaving too?”

Ahsoka hadn’t actually decided. She could help Fives get off world and then come back to her life here on Coruscant. But what if his trauma continued to hinder him? Would he be alright on his own? 

That thought hurt. This was ARC Trooper Fives. Before tonight, she would have been sure that he could handle himself, no matter the situation. But after seeing the shell he’d somehow become, she just wasn’t sure if he’d be okay by himself right now.

“Yes, I’m going with him,” she decided.

“So what, you guys are just going to trot down to the station and hop on the first shuttle?” Rafa’s face was still scrunched with skepticism.

Ahsoka had thought about that. If Fives was being hunted, then going to any station on Coruscant would put him at risk of discovery, even in different clothing. “Actually, I was hoping Trace could give us a lift off Coruscant.”

“No way,” Rafa said instantly. “Whatever trouble you’ve gotten yourself in, Trace will not be a part of it.”

“I’ll let her decide for herself,” Ahsoka countered. “She’s an adult.”

“Adult or not, she’s my little sister and I’m looking out for her. The answer is ‘no’.”

“What if I pay for the fuel? Trace will drop us off on another planet and you’ll never hear from us again.”

Rafa took a long, contemplative sip of caf. “You know,” she began, leaning back against the kitchen counter, “you’re doing a whole lot to help out some guy who you claim isn’t your boyfriend.”

“He really isn’t my boyfriend,” Ahsoka insisted calmly. Then she released a sigh. “But he is a part of my old life and we’ve been through a lot together. We’ve had each other’s backs for a long time and that’s not going to stop now, even though we’re somewhere else.”

Rafa’s dark eyes studied her, as if she was deciding how much she believed. “Well, whatever it is he did to get himself into trouble, he’s lucky to have you in his corner. Fine. I’ll get him some clothes and then we’ll get you guys out of here tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Rafa-”

“Only,” Rafa cut her off, “to get you out of my hair and this fugitive out of my house.”

Ahsoka rolled her eyes. She could tell that her roommate was trying to be harsher than she really felt. “Thank you, Rafa,” she said again.

Chapter Text

Ahsoka dozed on the couch until morning. When she awoke, a set of men’s clothes had been left on a nearby table. She hadn’t actually asked Rafa to steal them from the laundromat she ran, but she suspected that was where they’d come from. Thievery was absolutely not something Ahsoka ever meant to do, but with Fives’ safety at risk and their time short, there wasn’t much other choice. At least they smelled clean.

She took the clothes with her and knocked on her bedroom door. “Fives, it’s Ahsoka,” she said softly. She didn’t want to walk in on him uninvited or unannounced, especially with how jumpy he’d been the previous night.

“You can come in,” his voice sounded quietly.

The door slid open and Fives started to stand from the bed as if he were going to snap to attention. Ahsoka felt a stab of pain through the Force as he put weight on his injured leg and she quickly threw up a hand to stop him.

“You don’t have to do that. I’m not your commander anymore,” she reminded him. And you’re not an ARC trooper.

“Right, sorry.” He sat back down on the bed and she came to sit beside him.

He already seemed much more stable than the previous night. His eyes were no longer flickering frantically, his breathing was more even, and the visible bruising on his body had faded some. His demeanor as a whole seemed less tense, if still a bit on edge.

“How are you feeling?” she asked. “Do you mind if I check your injuries?”

“Go ahead,” he consented to her examining his wounds. “I don’t know how I’m feeling,” he added sullenly.

“You seem a bit better,” she commented, shifting to remove his bacta patches so she could inspect his injuries. As she suspected, his bruises weren’t perfectly healed, but they had definitely improved. “How do your ribs and wrist feel?”

He flexed his right wrist and twisted his torso. He gave no indication of hurting anywhere, though Ahsoka knew that could just be ARC training kicking in to mask his physical pain. “I think my wrist is mostly better,” he reported. “It must not have been too bad. My ribs still hurt, but they’re better.”

“I’m glad,” she said. “I can put some more bacta cream on everything, but that’s all I have.”

“If that’s all you have, don’t waste it on me,” he said matter-of-factly.

“What else am I going to use it on?”

“Save it for yourself or your roommates. I’m fine.”

She opened her mouth to argue more, but decided against it. “Let me check your leg before we decide.”

She carefully peeled off the patch and suppressed a gasp. The blaster wound was better, but nowhere near as healed as she’d hoped. Kriff. She knew these weren’t military grade bacta patches, but she’d still hoped it would be mended more.

“I’m sorry, I thought it’d be more healed,” she said.

“Don’t apologize,” he said quickly. “I’ll manage. You’ve done more than enough, Ahsoka.”

She shook her head. “Not yet. I have a plan to get you off world.” 

He sucked in a breath, but didn’t say anything as she continued. 

“Here.” She passed him the outfit Rafa had given her. “My roommate got you some clothes, so you’ll be harder to recognize. Don’t worry, my roommates don’t know who you are or why you need to leave,” she added quickly. “They agreed to fly us to another planet on their private freighter and we’ll take a transport from there. We’ll go to the Outer Rim or something, where they won’t find you.”

He stared at her for a moment. “We?”

“I’m coming with you.”

“No, I-I can’t ask that of you,” he said, looking down at his knees.

“Think of it like old times. I have your back and I know you’ll have mine too,” she suggested.

But he still shook his head. “We’re not in the GAR anymore. I have to disappear, which means you would have to as well. I can’t ask you to give up your life here.”

She didn’t care. When she thought about leaving with Fives, something inside her did tell her to stay on Coruscant, but when she searched her mind, she couldn’t find a good reason to. She didn’t want to stay here. She wanted to be with her friend who, suddenly, was the only person in her life that she trusted. She hadn’t felt like she belonged since leaving the Jedi and the GAR, and now that Fives was here… She sighed. She still didn’t feel like she belonged, but it was the closest she’d felt since leaving the Order. She wouldn’t burden him with her own issues, though.

“I don’t really care about my life here,” she said slowly.

“You don’t?”

“When I left the Order, I had nothing,” she explained. “So I just found the first job I could and a place to stay. I can’t say it’s where I want to be though.”

Her eyes were trained straight ahead and she felt him turn to look at her. “Where do you want to be?”

She hated that question, not that he could possibly know. It reminded her of just how lost she was. She just shrugged. “I don’t know. But the least I can do is help you now.”

He nodded this time and when she glanced at him, she thought she saw a weighted relief in his eyes. “Okay, if you’re sure,” he said.

“I am.” She paused before deciding to add, “It’d be nice not to be alone.” She didn’t mention that she didn’t really count her current roommates, but he seemed to understand.

“Yeah,” he agreed, his voice shaking the slightest bit. “That would be nice.”

They locked eyes and, for a brief moment, Ahsoka didn’t feel quite so lost.

“Can you walk?” she asked, shifting her gaze towards his leg.

Without saying anything, he pushed himself to his feet. He seemed stable, until he tried to take a step and his left leg practically crumbled. Ahsoka leapt to her feet, halting his fall with the Force, and then rushed to his side to manually help him back up and back to the bed.

She knew, having been through ARC training, Fives was more than capable of pushing through physical pain. Nerve damage, however, didn’t give him much of a choice.

“Kriff,” he cursed, hanging his head. “I can’t stay here.” Some of the previous night’s panic was beginning to creep into his voice. He was right. He couldn’t afford to stay here until he healed.

“I have an idea,” Ahsoka said and he looked up at her. “I can use the Force to heal you.”

Fives’ eyes widened. “You can do that?”

“Well, sort of,” she admitted. “Obi-Wan taught me a little during the time I was a Padawan. I won’t be able to heal you completely, but maybe enough so that you can walk out of here.”

“Do it,” he said. To her relief, all his reservations from before about her using the Force on him seemed to have vanished. Her guiding him to sleep must have helped more than she’d thought.

She nodded and knelt in front of him. She placed a hand over his injury, but not quite touching it, just as Obi-Wan had taught her. She breathed in deeply and closed her eyes. She let her senses extend towards Fives, towards his leg, until she could feel the burning sensation that emanated from the wound. She forced herself not to flinch and breathed in again, drawing some of the pain out with it. Then she felt for the wound. Felt the torn and melted flesh that remained. She imagined it rejuvenating and pulling together in reparation. She felt his agony ease in response, but because she had taken it onto herself. She was meant to cast the pain away into the Force, but she wasn’t skilled enough to do so, while also repairing the injury. She felt herself shaking, trying not to let the burning sensation in her mind interrupt her concentration. She wasn’t making progress anymore, though. She had to retreat. If she didn’t, she would-

Everything went black.

“Ahsoka!”

She opened her eyes to see amber orbs blinking worriedly at her. Then she registered what was happening and her eyelids snapped the rest of the way open. She’d passed out trying to heal Fives’ wound. She was sitting on the floor and he was kneeling beside her, his arm around her shoulders. When her friend saw she was awake, he quickly removed his arm and she leaned back against the bed behind her.

“How long was I out?” she asked.

“Only a few seconds… What happened?”

She exhaled heavily. “Inexperienced Force healers can risk hurting themselves when they heal too much…” she admitted, not meeting his eyes.

“Ahsoka,” he gasped. “If you had told me that, I wouldn’t have let you-”

“I know,” she interrupted tiredly. Her whole body felt drained now, but if she’d healed him even a little, it’d be worth it. “Did it work?”

The gash on Fives’ thigh didn’t look much better, but he stood anyway and took a step. He was stiff, but his leg seemed to take the weight just fine. He took a few more successful steps.

“It worked, but…” He turned back to her, where she still sat slumped against the bed.

“Let’s get moving then,” she said. She went to push herself up, but her friend quickly stepped back over to her and offered his hand. She took it and he helped her up so she could sit on the bed. Her head was spinning slightly, but she did her best not to show it.

He looked like he wanted to say more, but then he nodded. “You’re right.”

“So you’re really not going to tell us your name?” Trace asked for the third time.

“It’s best if you don’t know,” Fives reiterated, shuffling his hands.

Fives, Ahsoka, Trace, and Rafa were sitting in the main area of Trace’s Nebula-class freighter, the Silver Angel, as it carried them through hyperspace.

As soon as Ahsoka had recovered enough from healing Fives’ leg, she had insisted that they use what bacta cream they had on his injuries. She had pointed out that they didn’t know how long they’d be traveling and it wouldn’t help for him to still be hurt in the meantime. He’d reluctantly agreed.

She had put the bacta cream on his leg and then bandaged it. Then she’d used the rest of the ointment on his ribs and around his eye. She had leaned in close while treating his face and Fives’ attention was drawn to the weariness in her features. Guilt twisted in his gut knowing that she had drained herself to the point of passing out, just to heal him enough so that he could walk.

Fives had fought alongside Ahsoka for years, and she’d always been caring and protective over her men. But now she had no obligation to help him, let alone do this much for him. It had struck him that, if she hadn’t come to his rescue the previous night, he might not be here at all. He couldn’t help but wonder if he was really worth all of the trouble he’d put her through.

He’d considered sneaking out or simply telling her he didn’t need her help, but they both knew that wasn’t true. His mind was much clearer now, but he could still feel a dark chill lingering in the corner of his consciousness, waiting to engulf him at the first opportunity.

After Ahsoka had finished treating his injuries, he’d put on the clothes her roommate had gotten for him: a navy tunic, gray pants, and a gray hat that would cover his tattoo and help hide his face. Everything was a bit large on him, but he was in no position to complain. He didn’t bother to ask where the clothes came from, but he’d thanked Rafa once Ahsoka had introduced them.

The older sister had nodded and given him a hard look, which he really couldn’t blame her for. He had showed up at her apartment unannounced and now her sister was using her private ship to help him get off world.

Trace had been more friendly and was obviously eager to help. It was from her that Fives found out that Ahsoka had been working at Trace’s garage and had even provided some physical protection for the sisters.

They had quickly eaten some instant meals and made their way to the garage. 

Even with Ahsoka by his side and his new clothes, he had felt his chest constrict the moment they stepped onto the street. Every moment he was outside, he risked discovery, and he couldn’t stop his fists from clenching or his eyes from shifting at every movement. He hated feeling this way and, even though he could walk now, the pain that still seared in his leg only further reminded him of his situation. He told himself that he was being too paranoid, but the anxiety pressing on him was impossible to control.

The worst part was that he didn’t even know why. He knew the Coruscant Guard wanted him arrested, but when he tried to remember anything further, that cold pain stabbed through his skull and threatened to engulf the front of his mind again. Knowing that he didn’t know what had happened only made his chest squeeze tighter and dread reverberated in his mind with the thought that whatever had happened was horrible enough to cause this memory loss.

Fives hadn’t realized how rapid his breathing had become until he felt something warm touch his palm and realized that Ahsoka had wrapped her hand around his. He instantly felt calmer and the pressure on his chest eased slightly.

“It’s okay,” she whispered from beside him. “We’re almost there.”

He glanced down to see her deep, blue eyes blinked tiredly at him and his guilt came flooding back. She was only so weary because of him and now he couldn’t even walk down a street without her holding his hand. Kriff, I’m pathetic. Despite his thoughts, he tightened his hand around hers, hoping she wouldn’t let go. He hated that he needed this help, but something about Ahsoka’s touch made him feel inexplicably safe.

They’d made it to Trace’s garage, boarded the Silver Angel, and swiftly departed the city. They had decided that the sisters would take them to Alsakan, a human-dominated planet along the Perlemian Trade Route. Like Coruscant, it consisted primarily of crowded cities, which would make it easy to blend in. Also, being along a trade route, it shouldn’t be too difficult to find passage to the Outer Rim.

Alsakan was one of the planets nearest to Coruscant, but it was still a three standard hour flight through hyperspace. This meant three hours for the sisters to question Fives, while he was still struggling to keep his darkening thoughts at bay.

“So how do you two know each other?” Trace asked, undeterred by Fives’ evasive responses.

“We worked together when I lived Topside,” Ahsoka answered vaguely. It was the truth.

“Doing what?”

“I never told you what I did when I lived there before, so why would I now?” the Togruta pointed out.

“Okay, fair enough,” Trace conceded. Then she fixed her dark brown eyes on Fives again. “So why are you on the run?”

His chest constricted. “It’s best if you don’t know,” he said again. I don’t even know.

“If he’s a criminal, I’d rather not know about it,” Rafa remarked, without looking up from the datapad she was scrolling on.

“He’s not a criminal!” Ahsoka snapped defensively, to Fives’ surprise.

He stared down at his clenched fists. He didn’t deserve her protection. For all they knew, he was a criminal. He felt cold and his chest squeezed tighter. He knew the other people around him were still talking, but he couldn’t hear them anymore. They couldn’t see him this way. He couldn’t be here.

His leg shrieked as he rose to his feet and made his way out of the main area and into the tiny sleeping quarters located off to the side. As soon as he was alone, he leaned heavily against one of the walls, resting his head on his forearm, as he fought to catch his breath.

Why? He was an ARC trooper. He’d dealt with countless life threatening situations and now he couldn’t even sit through a conversation. He exhaled harshly, his breath ending in a sob.

He didn’t even register Ahsoka approaching until she was next to him, saying his name. “Fives.”

“I’m sorry,” he choked out between gasps.

“It’s not your fault,” she said gently. “Can I help you?”

Part of him didn’t want her help. She’s done too much. But he nodded silently. Ahsoka slowly took his hand and he let her lead him over to one of the bunks, where they sat down together.

“Breathe with me,” she said, inhaling deeply. He sucked in a shaky breath, attempting to match her pace. As their breaths began to sync, he felt a warmth in his mind, easing the chill that had begun to take hold of him again. The shadows began to retreat slightly and he realized that this was her using the Force to ease his inner turmoil.

“Thank you,” he said, once his breathing had settled. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” she said quickly, squeezing his hand. “I don’t know what happened, but your mind is hurt like a physical wound, only in your head. I can feel it… It needs time to heal, just like everything else.”

He knew she was trying to soothe him, but he didn’t feel any better about his predicament. He wasn’t supposed to succumb to mental injury. ARC troopers were tougher than that. Clones were engineered to be mentally stable, so they wouldn’t break down… like this.

“Fives.” Ahsoka squeezed his hand again, halting his dismal thoughts. “Let’s make a plan for when we get to Alsakan.” He knew she was trying to distract him from himself. How does she know just what to do?

“Right, okay,” he nodded.

“We’ll be on our own and we probably won’t have the chance to be alone for a while, but no one will have any reason to pay attention to us,” she said. “Trace gave me the last of the credits she owed me for working for her and I brought everything I saved, so we should be able to get a transport and then find somewhere to stay, once we get wherever we want to settle.”

She’s even using all her credits to help me, Fives’ thoughts reminded him. He took a breath to ensure his voice was steady. “So, I guess, just find an Outer Rim planet and hide out there?”

“Yes. We’ll find a neutral planet, where the war hasn’t touched. There are so many, whoever’s after you won’t even know where to look.”

“And then what? Stay there indefinitely?”

“Well, yeah. Hopefully we can find a place where we can live as civilians, without having to hide. Then I guess we just build a new life, I don’t know.”

Fives furrowed his brow. “Is that really what you want?” She didn’t seem certain of her words and the last thing he wanted was for her to sacrifice even more for him.

She shrugged, not meeting his eyes. “What other choice do we have?” You don’t have to come with me. Though, even as he thought it, something in his chest trembled at the idea of not having her there with him. She continued, “Besides, that’s basically what I was trying to do on Coruscant. I’ll just be doing the same thing somewhere else now… and I won’t be alone this time.”

Even while dealing with his own trauma, Fives could clearly see how unhappy Ahsoka was with her current living situation. They’d experienced devastating losses and other horrors on the battlefield together, but even then, she had seemed like she was where she wanted to be. That didn’t seem to be the case anymore and he wasn’t sure that her coming with him to some Outer Rim planet would help at all.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why did you leave?” he asked slowly.

She tilted her head, surprised. “You don’t know?”

“I heard the version that Rex heard from Skywalker, but I would think that your version is the most important.” Her head suddenly snapped up, so her blue eyes were staring into his brown ones, reflecting an emotion that he couldn’t quite name. “What?” What did I say?

“Just… no one ever asked to hear my side,” she said in a small voice.

That’s not right. Despite his own mental state, Fives found himself suddenly focused on Ahsoka and that flicker of emotion, deep in her eyes. He had never seen her so despondent like this before and he realized it was something he hated seeing.

“Well, I’m asking,” he said, turning on the bunk, so he was facing her more.

Her eyes lit with silent gratitude. Then she took a breath and told him what had happened. He already knew about the bombing on the Jedi Temple, and he had figured out that Ahsoka and Skywalker had taken part in the subsequent investigation. He knew that she was accused of murder, but no one had ever provided further detail. 

Now Ahsoka told him about how the suspect had requested to speak to her specifically and, once the former Jedi had arrived, someone had Force-choked the suspect without being seen. Ahsoka had been the only one in the room and somehow the audio on the security footage had failed, leading the Coruscant Guard to conclude that she was responsible for the murder.

“I probably shouldn’t have run and evaded arrest, but I knew that… no one would believe me.” For some reason, her words vibrated painfully in Fives’ head, but he wasn’t sure why. He forced the sensation back, somehow gaining more control, now that he was focused on helping his friend.

She continued to explain how she ended up wandering the streets of Coruscant and running into Asajj Ventress who, surprisingly, had been able to relate to what Ahsoka was experiencing. The Togruta had contacted another Jedi, Barriss Offee, who had given her a location to meet at. Ahsoka had gone to the indicated warehouse, only to find a trap that provided further evidence for her framing, when Skywalker and Koon found her next to the same nano-droids that had been used in the Temple bombing.

When Ahsoka was brought back to the Temple, she’d held onto the hope that she’d get a fair trial, but the Jedi Council had expelled her, without looking into or even asking for her side of the story. Then she’d been sent to trial, where she was convicted and sentenced to death. The only thing that had saved her was Skywalker taking matters into his own hands and discovering that Barriss had been the murderer all along, and she was the one who had framed Ahsoka.

“So, as for why I left…” she was hugging herself now, making herself look uncharacteristically small and vulnerable. “Even when they invited me to rejoin the Jedi, it didn’t change the fact that everyone had turned on me, without a second thought, even one of my closest friends. Anakin was the only one who ever believed in me. But I couldn’t go back. They didn’t fight for me, so why should I fight with them?” She opened her mouth like she wanted to say more, but closed it again, seeming to change her mind.

She shook her head, as if trying to clear her thoughts. Fives wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted to comfort her, but he wasn’t sure how. For some reason, his instinct was to embrace her and hold her, but he doubted that would be appropriate, so he refrained from doing so.

“Anyway, that’s my side of what happened,” she said, before he could decide what to do. “How was the GAR after I left? I still feel terrible for not saying goodbye to everyone.”

“We understood,” he assured her. “We all missed you. Skywalker and Rex were a bit out of sorts for a while, but they understood and respected your decision. We all did.”

“Thanks, Fives,” she sighed. “I missed you guys too. If I could have left the Order, but somehow stayed with the GAR, I would have.”

There was a pause and then Fives spoke. “For the record, I’ll fight for you, Ahsoka.”

She met his eyes again. “I’ll fight for you too,” she vowed. “We can fight for each other.”

He nodded, “Like old times.”

“Except we’re not commander and ARC trooper anymore,” she pointed out. She seemed to hesitate a moment, but then reached out and took his hand again. “Now we’re just you and me.”

There was an unexpected tingling in his chest. After the way his torso had been constricting lately, this sensation was surprisingly pleasant. “Okay then.” He tightened his hand around hers. “You and me.”

Chapter Text

As the Silver Angel descended towards the surface of Alsakan, Ahsoka almost questioned if they’d simply flown in a circle and arrived back on Coruscant. Cityscape engulfed this world just as much as it did the capital and, though of course they weren’t identical, it wouldn’t be difficult to mistake one location for the other.

As they drifted deeper into the Alsakan city of Xenvaer, dark skyscrapers grew around them, until they dominated the view from every window of the small freighter. Even the galaxy above was obscured by the light and chemical pollution that poured from the surrounding buildings.

Trace landed her ship in a massive hangar that could have almost been its own city. There was no roof, but the sheer number of ships docked there did well enough to block out the sky. The floor of the hangar wasn’t visible for how many beings, most of them human, populated the tremendous space.

“I’m not going out there,” Rafa announced, once their ship had landed and the ramp had been lowered.

“We should be okay from here,” Ahsoka assured her, though she noted the increased tension in Fives’ Force signature. Then she turned to the two sisters. “Thank you for the ride and for everything. We might not have been able to get here without your help.”

“It’s the least we can do,” Trace said. “You’ve done so much for us, even if Rafa will never admit it.” She cast a glance at her sister, who just shrugged noncommittally.

Fives thanked the sisters as well, to which Trace responded, “Just take care of Ahsoka, okay?”

“I will,” he promised, in a surprisingly serious tone. Then he added, “Not like she needs it.”

“You’re probably right,” Trace agreed with a laugh.

Having said their farewells, the sisters retreated back inside their ship and prepared to take off, as Ahsoka and Fives turned to face the dense crowd before them.

“So… we just find a transport to somewhere in the Outer Rim?” he asked. She could feel his unease rising and she noticed his eyes had begun shifting nervously again, as they had been on Coruscant earlier that day.

“That’s it. Preferably to a neutral system.” She held out her hand to him. “Probably not the time to get lost in this crowd.” Her statement was undoubtedly true, but she also hoped that she’d be able to provide him some comfort while they were forced to be surrounded by so many other beings.

He took her hand, blinking gratefully. His palm was clammy in hers and she felt him shaking slightly. She didn’t know exactly how this environment was affecting him with the trauma he’d sustained less than a standard day ago, but she could tell it wasn’t helping. They didn’t have much choice though. 

She breathed in and took a moment to focus on sending comforting thoughts to him through the Force, hoping to ease his mind, at least temporarily. After a moment, she felt him squeeze her hand in another silent “thanks”.

They kept their hands locked together as they made their way through the throngs of beings and starships. After several minutes of weaving and shuffling past other people, Ahsoka was fairly certain that they really would have been separated if they hadn’t been holding onto each other. 

As they strode deeper into the crowd, she realized her own grip on Fives’ hand had tightened. All they had now was each other and there was no way she would risk letting him go.

They passed by a few obvious transports, but most were larger and were bound for Inner or Mid Rim systems. If they really wanted to keep Fives safe from the Republic, they needed to start by getting as far from Coruscant as possible. Finally, they found a crew of three humans who appeared to be transporting a shipment of fabrics and flimsi.

“Can I ask where you’re headed?” Ahsoka inquired, approaching a dark-haired human woman, who appeared to be the ship’s pilot.

“Voria,” the woman had answered simply.

“Where’s-” the Togruta started.

“Never heard of it?” the pilot interrupted. Both Ahsoka and Fives, hands still linked, shook their heads. “It’s a small planet in the Outer Rim. No one ever goes there or leaves really, but they trade with other systems for supplies, like everyone else.” That sounded like a good location, particularly if it was seldom visited.

“Mind if we tag along? We can help load and carry your supplies,” Ahsoka offered.

“For what purpose?”

The Togruta fished a few credits out of the pouch on her belt and handed them to the pilot. “We’ll be keeping that to ourselves.”

The woman took the credits and nodded. “Well, let’s get moving then. We’ve got three days in hyperspace ahead of us. I hope you brought some food because you’re not taking from our stash.”

“We’ll manage,” Ahsoka said. They had brought several instant meals with them from the Martez sisters’ apartment. It would still cut them down to one meal a day and they’d need to obtain more sustenance as soon as they got to Voria, but they’d both survived on far less on the battlefield.

Finally allowing their hands to disconnect, Ahsoka and Fives helped the crew load the rest of their cargo and then joined them on their ship. The travelers hadn’t given the crew many credits, but they still respected their passengers’ wish to keep their identities confidential.

To that end, Ahsoka and Fives settled on a bench together, in one of the corners of the transport’s cargo hold. They didn’t even bother asking if they could share what was likely a miniscule sleeping quarters. Fortunately, because of how large the supply shipment was, almost every space on the transport was packed with crates, which provided the two passengers with some privacy in their chosen corner.

They couldn’t let their guards down completely, but they both still breathed sighs of relief that all they had to do now was sit and wait until they arrived on the planet that would hopefully be their new home.

“So what do we do for three days?” Fives asked.

They had been in hyperspace enroute to Voria for over a standard hour now. They were both sitting slouched on the bench, where they intended to stay for the majority of their trip.

“I honestly can’t remember ever sitting still for that long,” Ahsoka commented.

Fives suppressed a sigh. Sitting still was the last thing he needed right now. He’d felt the pressure on his chest trying to weigh him down since they had landed on Alsakan. He was sure it would have crushed him completely, if he hadn’t had Ahsoka’s hand as constant anchor. He’d also been trying to focus on finding the transport they needed, which had helped keep his mind distracted from the shadows that surrounded it.

Now everything was still. There was nowhere to go and nothing to do, other than wait and hope he could keep his dark thoughts at bay. He still couldn’t remember anything of what happened before Ahsoka found him in that alley, other than a few, hazy details. He wanted to search his memory for the answers, but it was like walking blindfolded along a cliff. He had no idea where he was going and a wrong move could be fatal.

He felt himself shifting uneasily. Bouncing his knee, cracking his knuckles, running a hand over his head and remembering that he didn’t have hair there anymore. Then he recalled that he had surgery. He had no idea what surgery or why, though. He shook his head, trying to steer his thoughts away from that path. He already knew where it would lead and it wouldn’t be beneficial to him or Ahsoka right now.

“Have you ever played dejarik?” the Togruta asked suddenly.

“Of course.”

He watched as she reached into the bag she’d brought and pulled out her datapad. She maneuvered her finger along the screen for a few moments, then turned towards him and set the device down between them on the bench.

“Come on,” she said, when he hesitated. She was already arranging her pieces on the holo-board.

He was so worn out, he wasn’t sure he wanted to put the effort into a game. Then he reminded himself that it was much better than other places his mind could be exploring. He leaned forward and set up his own pieces.

They played silently for a long while; Fives didn’t keep track of the time. Finally, he launched an attack that defeated her final piece, granting him victory.

“How’d you do that?” Ahsoka gasped, glancing between him and the board.

He just shrugged. “Luck?”

But then he won the next three games as well. They always cut it close, but somehow he found he was able to read her strategy easily enough to allow him the ability to defeat her each time.

Finally, the Togruta let out a loud huff. “Okay, this isn’t fair,” she declared. For a heartbeat, he worried she was genuinely upset, but then he saw the mischievous glint in her eye. It was the first time he’d seen it since they’d reunited.

“What’s not fair?” he asked innocently. “I have the same pieces as you do.”

“Yes, but I didn’t have fancy ARC training to teach me strategies like that,” she whined playfully.

“Oh, so you’re saying I wouldn’t be able to beat you without my ARC training?”

“You can’t tell me that training didn’t help you here.”

“Alright, maybe a little,” he admitted. With each line back and forth between them, he felt a little lighter. It hadn’t been more than a standard day, but whatever had happened to him had crushed him down so far that banter like this was amazingly refreshing.

“So, you admit that I might’ve won if you hadn’t had that training?”

“I don’t admit that at all! And we can’t prove it. I can’t unlearn ARC training,” he protested.

Then she released a small laugh.

“You smiled,” he said, his voice suddenly coming out quiet.

“What are you talking about?”

“I haven’t seen you smile the whole time we’ve been together,” he explained. It wasn’t even something he’d consciously thought about, but when her lips turned up just now, it had struck him that he hadn’t seen her exhibit even the semblance of happiness since they’d reunited.

“I haven’t?” Now she was staring at him and he thought he saw the blue chevrons on her lekku darkening. If he recalled correctly, that was the Togruta equivalent of a blush.

He shook his head. “Not that I’ve seen.”

“That’s… sweet of you to notice.” She let her smile creep back, only now it was her trademark smirk. “Now it’s your turn.”

“What?”

“To smile.”

“Good luck with that.” He said it good naturedly, but after everything that had happened, he wasn’t sure positive facial expressions were very accessible to him right now.

“Fine, don’t smile then.”

“Now you don’t want me to?”

“Nope, changed my mind. Your smiles were always too smug for my taste anyway.” She started tapping on her datapad again, resetting their game.

“Your taste?” He couldn’t keep the amusement out of his voice now. “Do you think I take your opinion into consideration with my facial expressions?”

“Maybe not before, but guess what, I’m the only one here. So,” to his shock, she reached out and poked his right cheek, “no smiling, okay?”

He couldn’t help it. He burst out laughing and she did the same. Then they were actually beaming at each other; it was the brightest either of them had felt since this whole ordeal began.

“Told you I’d get you to smile,” she teased, still grinning. Fives had the sudden thought that he really liked her smile.

“Fine, you win,” he conceded, raising his hands, as if surrendering. Then he added, “At least you won something today.”

She gasped, but her attempts to look offended failed when another laugh escaped her and he couldn’t stop himself from chuckling along with her again. 

Then she opened her mouth as if to say something else, but her words were lost in a yawn. Suddenly, weariness returned to her features and Fives was reminded of how hard she’d worked to help him over the last day.

“Why don’t you get some rest?” he suggested.

“I guess I should,” she admitted, yawning again. “What about you, though?”

“I probably can’t sleep anyway,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Besides, one of us should stay alert, just in case.”

“I guess you’re right.” She went to shut off her datapad, then paused. After thinking for a moment, she held it out to him. “Here, you can do whatever you want on here, while I’m asleep.”

“Whatever I want?” he asked, raising an eyebrow, but she just rolled her eyes good-naturedly and leaned back on the bench.

While she dozed off, he took the datapad and began scrolling the HoloNet, sticking to lighthearted holovids and images. He knew if he wasn’t careful, he could risk his mind wandering and the shadows creeping in again.

He’d managed to immerse himself in a holovid, when he felt a sudden weight on his right shoulder and turned to see that Ahsoka had leaned her head onto him in her sleep. Even though it hadn’t been purposeful contact, he felt himself relaxing at her touch. Somehow, over the course of a single standard day, she had become the embodiment of safety to him.

When she didn’t wake or move again, he decided there was no harm in her continuing to utilize him as a pillow. If anything, her proximity helped ground him, preventing his more intrusive thoughts from breaking through. After a while, he felt himself leaning into her more, until he was resting his face on her montral. She still didn’t move and so they stayed like that for the next several hours.

Chapter Text

Three standard days was a long time. Even when the 501^st would spend the same amount of time traveling through space or hiding out in a war zone, there had always been something to do. Here, secluded to their corner of the transport, all Fives and Ahsoka could do was work together to pass the time.

They got to know each other again. They’d known each other for years, of course, but only now did it strike Ahsoka how much she didn’t know about her companion. They’d always been commander and trooper, though once he was promoted to ARC, he spent more time on solo missions than with the 501^st. Even when he had been with them, though, the two of them had only spent time together in the context of Torrent Company.

On the battlefield, Torrent most often took their commands from Rex, rather than from Ahsoka. Then, when the company would hang out off duty, the large crowd made it difficult for Ahsoka to interact much with the clones individually. As a result, she knew her men, but she didn’t know each of them on any sort of deep level, including Fives.

Now that they were able to talk one on one, she was afforded the opportunity to learn about the man behind the ARC armor. They chatted about everything from their favorite mission locations to workout routines to the strange foods they’d tried.

What they didn’t discuss, however, was anything that could potentially ignite pain for either of them. They only discussed events from before the Temple Bombing and they avoided the more difficult ordeals, such as the Citadel and Umbara.

Ahsoka was astounded at how attentive Fives was when his mind was clearer. He was the one who was injured and who had just been through a particularly traumatic event, and yet he always seemed to be aware of her and her well-being. He made sure she ate and slept, reminding her that she couldn’t help him if she wasn’t in good health herself.

She didn’t mention it aloud, but she was reminded of the times she’d seen Fives looking out for his closest brothers. She hadn’t taken the time to think about it before, but now she could clearly identify Fives’ pattern of bonding with someone and then doing everything in his power to protect, support, and care for that person. She’d seen him do so with Echo, even back when they’d first joined the 501^st, then after he lost Echo, she’d seen him do the same with Tup. She wondered if he would do the same with her now.

She was curious how Tup felt about what had happened to Fives, if he even knew. Come to think of it, since she didn’t know what had transpired, she didn’t even know if the 501^st knew what had occurred or if they thought Fives had simply disappeared. She didn’t ask, of course. It absolutely wasn’t worth triggering his trauma. If he ever remembered, it would have to be in his own time.

When they weren’t talking, they would play dejarik. Ahsoka had always considered herself to be quite skilled at the game, but somehow Fives won nearly every round. She did manage to beat him a couple times, but he was still victorious more often than not. She’d known he was intelligent; he was an ARC, so he had to be. But she was repeatedly impressed when he continued to defeat her without even seeming to try. She didn’t mind though; there was something she really enjoyed about playing games with him, regardless of the outcome.

It was when she beat him for the first time, on the second day of their journey, that she realized just how exhausted he was. They’d done their best to sleep, but having only the one bench to share severely limited their options. They used each other’s shoulders as pillows, but she knew he was still struggling to rest. 

Finally, she suggested he try putting his head in her lap, so he could at least lie down. He’d been hesitant at first, but had eventually agreed. She still wasn’t sure he ever truly slept, but he at least seemed more relaxed when he was able to stretch out that way.

As soon as they got to Voria and found a place to stay, she would make sure he got some proper rest, as well as medical treatment. His wrist had healed completely and his left eye was nearly back to normal. However, his ribs and blaster wound were still in need of more advanced treatment than she was able to provide at the moment. 

She had brought what remained of the med kit with them, but that was pretty much just bandages and disinfectant at this point. There wasn’t much she could do for his ribs, but she was at least able to keep the injury on his leg clean and freshly bandaged throughout their journey.

At last, at the end of their third day of travel, the transport emerged from hyperspace next to a small, green and brown planet. Fives and Ahsoka watched out the window as the ship lowered into the atmosphere. Patches of fields and trees rose to meet them as they descended towards a small city.

The transport crew informed them that this was the town of Kaloshan and it served as the capital of Voria, though there were only a handful of settlements across the planet. Unlike Coruscant, the roads were made of dirt and were sparsely populated. There were several gray and brown buildings that made up the town, primarily constructed of duracrete, and none seemed to stand taller than three stories. The structures were close together, but not nearly as close as on the capital planet. With the space between the buildings and the small number of beings on the wide streets, the town actually appeared underpopulated.

The transport touched down into a community space port. There was only one other crew with their ship on the landing platform, contrasting greatly with the Xenvaer hangar and its dense crowd.

Stretching stiff joints, Ahsoka and Fives helped the transport crew unload their cargo. Once they’d completed that task, they prepared to go their separate ways. Ahsoka thanked the pilot and crew for their kindness and then the two companions made their way out of the hangar and onto the dirt streets.

The air was warm and dry, but not uncomfortable. The sky above was a darkening blue, dappled with white and gray clouds, which were parted by a setting yellow-orange sun. A dark green forest flanked one side of the settlement, rising up into a tall hill that Ahsoka could see above the buildings. Though she couldn’t see them from amongst the surrounding structures, the other external parts of the town that she’d spotted from the air had been primarily chartreuse fields.

They agreed that the first thing they should do was find a place to stay and began making their way towards the nearest part of town that seemed like it might contain apartment buildings.

As Ahsoka took in the environment, she was surprised that everyone she saw seemed relaxed and some even flashed her a smile when she glanced their way. They seemed to be happy and at peace. No matter where she looked, she couldn’t spot any signs of the war that had been ravaging the galaxy for almost four years. She wasn’t ready to let her guard down just yet, but she had to acknowledge the trickle of relief she felt that perhaps they’d been fortunate enough to find a truly peaceful planet.

They entered the first apartment building that they came to, silently agreeing that they would take whatever they could get, for now. The simple structure was three stories and built of ashen duracrete. The interior of the building was quiet and plain, with minimal décor. Ahsoka hoped the lack of flourishes meant that they’d find something here that they could afford. All they had were what credits she had remaining from her time working at Trace’s garage.

Once inside the lobby, they approached a window that had a ledge in front of it; it was the closest thing to a front desk that they could spot. Through the glass, they could see a small office and, a moment later, an elderly Iktotchi man appeared in the window. Ahsoka had the brief thought that this was the first being they’d seen who wasn’t human, other than herself.

“How can I help you young people?” the Iktotchi asked in a slow, but friendly drawl.

Ahsoka and Fives exchanged a quick look. He looked almost dead on his feet and she was the one with the credits, so she stepped forward.

“We were looking for an apartment to rent,” she said.

“Here are the units we have available.” The elderly man passed a piece of flimsi through a slot in the window. It contained a list of the different apartment options, including the layouts, and how many bedrooms and sonics each had. “Each unit comes furnished with a couch, a bed in each bedroom, and a full service kitchen. Of course, you’ll submit a security deposit when you sign the lease, in case anything gets damaged.”

Thank Force. Ahsoka was fairly certain they couldn’t afford to buy furniture right now, but she could work with a security deposit.

Fives’ shoulder brushed hers as he stepped beside her to look at the unit list. Ideally, they’d get a two bedroom apartment. The Togruta bit the inside of her lip when she saw the price. Two bedrooms would cost everything they had and they wouldn’t have anything left for food and the medical supplies her companion needed.

“We can only afford one bedroom and only for a month, if we want to be able to afford food and other stuff,” she said quietly, meeting Fives’ tired, brown eyes.

“That’s fine,” he said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “There’s a couch, remember? I’ll sleep there. And that gives us a month to find jobs and save up.”

She nodded and turned back to the Iktotchi. “We’ll take the one bedroom apartment.”

“Very well.” The man took back the unit list and handed Ahsoka some flimsi forms for her to fill out. “My name is Winvu and I’ll be your landlord.”

“I’m Ahsoka,” she said, as she scribbled her name on the flimsi.

Winvu glanced around her at Fives, waiting for him to introduce himself.

“Fives,” her friend said, with a polite nod. Ahsoka felt herself stiffen with alarm. Why would he use his own name when he’s wanted by the Republic? She couldn’t say anything now, though.

Now forcing a casual smile onto her face, she finished the forms and handed them back to Winvu, along with the required credits. The landlord handed back two key cards.

“Those are your keys,” he explained, “but you can set a passcode on the door, if you’d prefer.”

The Iktotchi led them to the second floor of the building and showed them where their apartment was. He entered with them and gave them a basic tour. The dwelling was just as described on the unit list: one bedroom with a bed, a living room with a couch, one refresher with a sonic, and a kitchen with a refrigerator, sink, oven, stove, and microwave. Not that Ahsoka knew how to use any of the cooking appliances; Fives most likely didn’t either.

“Thank you,” she said, as Winvu was leaving.

“You’re very welcome,” he said kindly. “Just let me know before the end of the month if you’d like to continue to stay here.”

The second the landlord left, Ahsoka spun around to face Fives. “You can have the bedroom, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

He actually laughed. “Yeah, right. That couch is mine.”

“But you’re the one who’s hurt,” she pointed out.

“And after all that, you’re not even going to let me be a gentleman?” He pretended huff and she felt her lips curling into a smile.

“Why don’t we settle in and decide later?” she suggested.

“Alright,” he agreed. “I guess we do have a lot to unpack.” He gestured to her bag that contained all of the belongings either of them owned and she just shook her head with amusement.

She went to run herself and her clothes through the sonic, noting that at some point they’d have to get something to wear other than the outfits on their backs. Food and medical supplies were the priority first though.

She came out of the ‘fresher to Fives poking around at the appliances in the kitchen. “Please don’t burn the apartment down,” she joked, going to grab her datapad and their one remaining instant meal out of her bag. “We literally just got here.”

“I’m not touching anything that involves fire,” he said innocently. As if to prove his point, he turned on the faucet. “I’m surprised we have real water,” he commented, staring in awe at the stream of liquid.

She came to stand beside him. “Fives, you’ve seen water before,” she said, raising an eyebrow marking.

“Yes, but not in my living quarters,” he pointed out. “What’s this do?” He reached for an object connected to the sink that looked like a miniature shower head.

He pressed a button on the back and suddenly water blasted right in Ahsoka’s face. “Hey!” she gasped, instinctively raising the objects in her hands to shield herself.

He turned the nozzle away from her, but his tired hands fumbled with it, now spraying water all over the floor. He frantically pressed the same button, but nothing happened. “It won’t turn off!”

“Well, point it at the sink, not at me or the floor!” She told him. When he hesitated, she stepped in to take the object from him.

Her hand slipped on his and, when she tried to step closer, her foot slid on the wet floor, flying out from under her. Almost in slow motion, she felt her datapad and the instant meal escape her grip, as she prepared to catch herself before she hit the floor. Then Fives’ arm was around her waist, catching her in midair. He lifted her back up so easily, Ahsoka couldn’t help but note how sturdy he was.

Once she was standing again, he returned his focus to the spray head and was finally able to turn it off. He quickly put it back where he found it and took half a step back, as if concerned it would spontaneously go off again. Then they turned to the mess around them.

Both of their clothes were soaked, the floor was a puddle, and in the center of that puddle was Ahsoka’s datapad and the instant meal. She leaned down to pick up the items. The food was securely packaged, so it would still be fine to eat. Her datapad, however, wouldn’t respond when she tried to turn it on. She opened the back of it to find that water had soaked deep into the mechanism.

“Kriff, I’m so sorry, Ahsoka.” She looked up at the genuine remorse in Fives’ voice.

“It’s okay, it’s not a big deal,” she quickly reassured him.

“I’ll fix it for you.”

“You know how to do that?” she asked, though she really wouldn’t be surprised if he did.

He took the datapad from her and scanned the interior. “You’re going to need a new battery, but then I can do the rest myself,” he said confidently. Then he looked at her again, his eyes round. “I’m sorry,” he said again, quieter this time.

Ahsoka felt an ache in her chest for him. He’d been through so much over the last few days and she could sense the real concern he felt, knowing he’d damaged something of hers. The last thing she wanted was him worrying about anything regarding her.

“You don’t need to apologize,” she said, putting her hands on his shoulders and meeting his amber gaze. “I’m not worried about it and I know you’ll fix it. So no harm done.”

He nodded and lifted a hand to grip hers for a second. Then he looked down at the puddle under their feet. “Let’s get this cleaned up.”

They found one towel in the entire apartment and Ahsoka made another addition to her mental shopping list. It was a small kitchen towel, but it cleaned up the water well enough. Then they ran it through the sonic and took turns with their clothes, until they were both clean, dry, and more comfortable than they’d been in days.

They split the instant meal between them, deciding that it was too late now and they were far too tired to go out to get anything else. Ahsoka had pointed out that they should at least get some medical supplies for Fives’ remaining injuries, but he insisted that a few more hours wouldn’t make a difference. In truth, she was relieved to be able to give in to her exhaustion and not do anything else that evening.

They made a plan as they ate together on the couch. They’d go to the market for necessities the next morning and then focus on finding work.

“Where do you think you’d look for work?” Fives asked.

Ahsoka shrugged. “I’m not too sure. I guess I could see if they need a mechanic at the space port. That’s what I did at Trace’s garage, so I know it’s something I could do. What about you?”

He stared down at his food and didn’t answer for a moment. Then he sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know. I was bred to fight. I was never meant to live long enough to do anything else.”

His words felt like a stab in her heart. She’d always hated how the clones were treated and the fact that they’d been created to fight and die, with no autonomy to make their own decisions. But hearing the resignation in Fives’ voice made everything painfully real.

She reached out and took his hand in hers. “Fives, look at me.” He did. “You’re so much more than what you were bred for.” His doubtful expression didn’t change, so she continued. “You were made an ARC trooper for a reason. You’re good in combat, yes, but you’re also smart and you know how to adapt. I’m confident that you could do anything you set your mind to.”

His brown gaze shimmered and she could sense that he wasn’t fully convinced, but he appreciated her faith. “Thanks, ‘Soka,” he whispered. “Sorry, Ahsoka,” he corrected himself.

“’Soka is fine too,” she chuckled, noting the unexpected warmth she felt when he called her that.

“Okay. Thank you, ‘Soka.” To her relief, he smiled faintly this time.

“Speaking of names,” she said gently, “are you going to use your real name?”

“Yes,” he said, without hesitation.

“I know this is a neutral system, but is that a good idea, with the Republic looking for you?”

“My name is the only thing I’ve ever had that’s my own.” Oh. She hadn’t thought of it like that before.

“I understand,” she said, squeezing his hand and he nodded gratefully.

They finished their meager meal and decided to get some rest, so they could get an early start the next morning. Of course, this meant they came back around to the couch debate.

“Fives, you’re still hurt,” she reminded him. “You should be more comfortable.”

“I can pretty much guarantee that this couch will be comfier than any bunk I’ve slept on in the past,” he countered. Before she could say anything else, he stretched himself out across the cushions. “Yup, I was right. It’s very comfortable.”

“Okay, get up, so I can see,” Ahsoka said.

He fixed her with a mischievous look. “Make me.”

“What?” Her voice almost squeaked. “Your ribs were broken and they’re not even healed yet; I’m not going to make you move!”

“Oh well, guess I’ll just stay here then.” He put his hands behind his head and flashed her a triumphant grin.

She couldn’t help but smile along with him. “Okay, fine. As long as you really don’t mind,” she said, beginning to make her way to the bedroom.

“Hey.” He caught her wrist gently as she passed and she turned so they were holding onto each other’s arms. “I want you to be comfortable, ‘Soka. You’ve done so much for me, it’s the very least I can do.”

She wanted to protest again, but his expression was so earnest, she couldn’t bring herself to object. “Thanks, Fives,” she said.

Then she paused for a moment, still holding his arm. “Do you need me to help you sleep?” she asked.

His grip tightened for a second and his eyes shifted away from her. “No, it’s okay. I think I should be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” he said, with a bit more confidence this time.

“Let me know if you need anything,” she said, giving his arm a squeeze.

“I will,” he said softly.

Chapter Text

Fives felt the cold reach for him the moment Ahsoka left the room. He hadn’t slept without her help since they’d reunited, but he felt terrible for having to rely on her so much. He hoped that now, on a comfortable couch, in a safe apartment, far from Coruscant, he’d be able to rest without her assistance.

But when he closed his eyes, the icy shadows immediately tried to sweep back over him and he felt his chest constricting again. Maybe he should just ask Ahsoka to help him after all. No. He didn’t want to bother her; she’d done more than enough already.

He forced himself to suck in a deep breath, trying to slow his breathing, as his friend had helped him do the last time he’d panicked. It seemed to help a little and, after a few breaths, he felt his exhausted mind beginning to drift into unconsciousness.

But it was still cold, as if some frigid entity was trying to engulf his mind, attempting to drown out all other thoughts until they vanished completely. No. He tried to push the darkness away, but the torrent of it only grew in strength. He needed something to hold onto before he got swept away. Fives felt like he was spinning in a circle, searching frantically for something, anything.

Then he saw Tup. His younger brother, his vod’ika, was strapped to an examination table, breathing heavily, his face tight with discomfort. When Fives looked around him, he was inside a medbay and, somehow, he knew he’d just done something to his brother. Or had something done. Wait, no. I’m not a medic. I wouldn’t…

He looked down to see Tup gasping for air and he leaned down to grip his vod’ika’s hand. No, wait. But Fives knew his brother was dying because of whatever it was he had done to him and now it was too late. Tup, wait, no. Stay with me. Please. Fives’ own cries reverberated in his mind as he watched Tup exhale for the last time and he felt his brother’s hand go limp.

Tup is dead. It’s my fault. 

The cold came blasting back, freezing his mind in that single thought. He’s gone. I did this. No. Fives tried to breathe, but his lungs were frozen. He felt his chest squeeze tighter, expelling what remaining air that he had left. He couldn’t breathe and his thoughts spiraled as darkness engulfed him. Tup is dead. I did this.

“Fives!”

His eyes flew open, but he couldn’t see anything, couldn’t focus, couldn’t breathe.

“Fives, you’re safe. I’m right here.”

Ahsoka. Then he felt a tender warmth trickling into his consciousness and the chill in his mind began to thaw. The ice encasing his lungs melted away and he felt himself gasping in frantic, but successful breaths.

He blinked rapidly, trying to focus, trying to find reality. Finally he was able to make out the cerulean orbs of Ahsoka’s eyes as she gazed steadily at him. As his vision became clearer, he realized she was kneeling next to him, where he lay on the couch, with her hand cradling the side of his face. He could still feel her warmth flowing into him, replacing the deafening chill that he’d almost succumbed to.

Finally, once he was able to breathe normally again, he sat up on the couch and his friend rose to sit beside him. He was grateful for the hand she kept on his shoulder, anchoring him in reality; the edges of his mind were still tingling, making it hard to focus.

What just happened? He instantly wanted to retract that thought. It was probably best if he didn’t remember, but it was too late. His dream came flooding back, so clear now that he knew it wasn’t a dream, but a memory, even if only a partial one. The medbay. Fives had done something in that medbay and Tup… Tup was gone because of it.

“Tup is dead,” he whispered, hearing his own voice breaking.

“What?” Ahsoka’s shocked voice sounded beside him.

“I did something… I don’t know what, but he… he’s gone.” As the cold numbness fell away, sharp agony took its place. It pierced through his chest and he felt the painful heat as it rose to his throat and eyes, catching his voice and blurring his vision.

He’s gone. I failed him. The thoughts echoed in his mind as tears streamed down his cheeks. Then he felt an arm around him as Ahsoka pulled him into her, so he was sobbing in her chest. He felt awful for putting this on her, but he couldn’t care in that moment. He wrapped his arms around her torso, clinging to her, clinging to the only thing in his life that he knew was truly safe. She held him tightly and he felt her thumb stroking comfortingly by his left temple.

After a while, his sobs subsided and he realized he could feel the comforting warmth around him that he’d come to recognize as Ahsoka soothing him through the Force. Guilt struck him and he almost pulled away to apologize to her, but instead he leaned into her further and felt her tighten her embrace around him. Selfishly, he just wanted to sit in her warmth a little longer, listening to the calming sound of her heartbeat and breathing in the sweet scent that surrounded her.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, finally sitting back. No longer in the safety of her arms, remorse swept through him, both for whatever he’d done that had caused Tup’s death and for burdening Ahsoka now.

“You don’t have to apologize,” she said, reaching out and placing a gentle hand on his forearm. “I’m here for you.” I don’t deserve it, though. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He wanted to. He wanted to find the rest of the memory, but every time he tried ice stabbed through his mind, blocking him out. “I-I can’t. I’m trying to remember, but I can’t. I just know he’s gone and it’s my fault.” His voice cracked under the weight of the last few words.

“Fives, it’s not your fault.” This time she took his hand and when he turned to look at her, her blue eyes blinked earnestly back at him.

“But I-” he started to protest, but she cut him off.

“I know what you said you remember and maybe you did do something that was related to whatever happened to Tup.” He sucked in a strained breath. “But I know that you would never do anything to hurt someone you care about. So whatever you did, I’m certain that you did it because you thought you were doing what was best. Am I wrong?”

He couldn’t answer right away. Something in his mind was hammering down the fact that it was his fault, but he forced himself to focus on Ahsoka’s words. She was right. After losing Echo, Fives had promised himself that he would do everything he could to protect Tup. He knew he would never do anything that he thought might hurt his vod’ika. But I still failed to protect him.

“You’re right,” he finally said, training his gaze on their joined hands. “But I still failed him.”

“Fives, if it’s not your fault, then you didn’t-”

“No.” Now it was he who cut her off. Her eyebrow markings furrowed with concern, but she patiently waited for him to continue. “After Echo… I promised I would take care of Tup, but I couldn’t even do that.”

“Maybe that was too much to put on yourself,” she suggested gently. “We were at war. None of us were ever truly safe.”

He didn’t know what to say. He knew she was probably right, but he couldn’t expel his echoing thoughts. I failed them. I should’ve done better. I should’ve been better.

“I’m sorry.”

Fives head snapped up at Ahsoka’s statement. He was so shocked, he forgot his harsh thoughts for a moment. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I was there at the Citadel,” she explained, her blue eyes shimmering. “I knew how close you and Echo were. I should’ve been there for you afterwards.”

As a clone in the GAR, not once had he ever expected the Jedi to provide any emotional support. But it was still nice to hear her say it now. 

“Thanks, but it wouldn’t have changed anything and I know you had your own stuff to worry about,” he said, offering her hand a squeeze. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I uprooted your whole life and now you can’t even get a good night’s sleep because of me.”

Despite the mood, she chuckled dryly. “I didn’t have a life to uproot. Trace and Rafa gave me a place to stay, but it wasn’t my home.”

He could see the sincerity in her cerulean gaze, but it didn’t diminish his guilt. “Still… I don’t want to drag you down with my problems.”

“You’re not,” she said firmly, tightening her grip on his hand. “I got your back, remember? And I know you have mine. If anything, I feel more at home here with you than I have since leaving the Order.”

He hesitated, unsure of how to respond. After a moment, he said quietly, “Thanks, ‘Soka.”

He couldn’t for the life of him figure out what he’d done to earn such devotion, but he knew without a doubt that he was just as committed to her. Only… I’ve failed everyone else. It’s only a matter of time before I fail her too.

Ahsoka woke the next morning to sunlight shining through the bedroom window and near silence filling the air around her. It was an odd sensation, but not unpleasant. She’d just never in her life been in a place so still.

Even with how serene the Jedi Temple was, it still always had an abundance of voices and Force signatures floating through it. When she slept aboard the Resolute, she’d always been able to hear the hum of the engines, air conditioning, and everything else that kept living beings alive in space. Then, of course, the Martez sisters’ apartment had been deep on the lower levels of Coruscant, which were never silent. 

In none of those locations did her quarters have an outward facing window, so she’d never had natural light to illuminate her room. There was something incredibly tranquil about watching the tiny dust particles as they floated amongst the sun rays.

She checked her chrono to find that it was still early; the sun must have only just risen. Sitting up, she stretched her sleep-stiff muscles and slid down to sit cross legged on the floor, beside the bed. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, sinking into the Force.

With everything that had happened over the past few days, there had been no time or safe space for her to meditate. It was a relief to be able to commune with the Force once again, and release some of the tension that had built in her mind and shoulders.

That was something she loved about the Force. She didn’t need to be a Jedi to connect with it and it was always there, no matter where she went. When she focused into it, she could also sense its will. Sometimes it was just a feeling, a slight pull in the direction the Force wanted her to go. Sometimes it was a full Force vision, showing her events of the past, present, or future.

She deepened her breaths, reaching out into the Force, searching for guidance. Maybe she could confirm that Voria was in fact a safe planet or figure out what more she could do to help Fives. An image formed in her mind and she saw… Coruscant?

Then she remembered that sensation she’d felt back in the Martez sisters’ apartment. That internal sense that she was supposed to stay on Coruscant and not leave with Fives. She had chosen to ignore that pull because it hadn’t made sense to her. It still didn’t.

Sorry, Force. I made my choice. Fives needed her too much for her to even consider leaving him. This was her home now. Right?

She spent the rest of her meditation clearing her mind and by the time she opened her eyes again, she felt more refreshed than she had in days. It occurred to her that, now that they had a safe place to meditate, she should teach Fives.

She’d stayed up with him for over an hour the previous night. He’d tried to refuse her help in falling asleep, but eventually had agreed to let her use the Force to assist him. Her heart almost broke when she thought of him.

Because he’d lost his memory, he hadn’t known until last night that Tup had died, even though Fives had been there himself. Now he had fresh grief to add to the mountain of trauma that he’d endured and it was even worse because he still couldn’t remember enough details to recall what had happened to his best friend.

Ahsoka wished she could do more; she hated seeing the misery in his features and feeling the waves of pain flowing off his Force signature. She wished she could take his hurt onto herself, like she had tried to do when she’d attempted to Force heal his leg. But even the Force can’t erase someone’s trauma and restore who they used to be.

She stood and tried to smooth out the creases that had formed in her jumpsuit overnight. She had nothing to change into, but at least she and her clothes were clean, thanks to the sonic.

She didn’t hear any sound coming from the living room, so she slowly eased open the bedroom door, hoping that Fives was still asleep and that she wouldn’t disturb him. But of course he rolled over as soon as she entered the room.

“Ahsoka?” he asked drowsily. She was relieved that he at least sounded like he’d been sleeping.

She walked around the couch and sat down next to him, by his hip. “I’m going to look around town and find us something to eat. You should get some more rest.”

“I should come with you,” he said. Despite his suggestion, his brown eyes were dull and tired.

“I’ll be okay,” she assured him calmly.

“You don’t have a weapon or anything.”

“I’ll be fine without one. I haven’t had any weapons since I left the Order anyway,” she reminded him. “Will you be alright?”

“I’ll be fine,” he said tightly, shifting his eyes away from hers. I hope that’s true.

“Okay, I’ll be back soon.” She stood to go, but he caught her hand.

“Please be careful,” he said, his expression suddenly serious. “We don’t know anything about this place yet.”

She squeezed his fingers. “I will.”

The outside air was cooler than it had been the night before, but not chilly. As Ahsoka walked towards Kaloshan’s shopping district, a light breeze made her lekku sway. It was still quiet, other than the sound of birds chirping. She began to see other beings as she drew closer to the center of the town, most of whom gave her friendly, but courteous smiles.

How does this place seem so perfect? Suspicion tickled at her mind. The weather, the people, the general atmosphere; could it really all be this peaceful?

As she passed by different establishments, she took mental notes of what the town had to offer. There was an electronics store, pawn shop, and several clothing stores lined up in a row of small, duracrete buildings. She spotted a significantly larger structure at the end of the main road, backing up to the forest at the edge of town. As she drew closer, she was able to identify it as a hospital. She saw a few more tall buildings in the distance, but today she followed the sign for the market that pointed her in the opposite direction.

The market was the busiest place she’d seen in the town so far. She noted that the shoppers consisted of either parents with their children or young, single adults. Everyone she saw was a human and she decided it was safe to conclude that this was a human-dominated world.

She was actually relieved. More humans meant it would be easier for Fives to blend in. Ahsoka herself wouldn’t meld with the crowd nearly as much, being a Togruta, but she wasn’t the one who was wanted by the Republic.

Several shouts yanked her from her thoughts and drew her attention to a group of younglings running towards her. None of the other patrons seemed to be paying them any mind, but Ahsoka watched as the small kid at the front of the pack darted between two buildings, while the larger younglings followed behind him.

It was when they brushed past her that the former Jedi was able to feel the trails of their Force signatures that told her this wasn’t a fun game. The larger kids were intent on bullying the smaller one.

Trying not to be too conspicuous, Ahsoka slipped into the alley behind them. She approached just in time to see a couple of the bigger younglings striking the smaller one. Now that she was closer, she realized that the larger kids were likely older as well. They stood almost as tall as her chin, while this littler child wouldn’t have made it to her shoulder.

“Excuse me,” she said loudly. All of the younglings froze and then turned to look at her, clearly having not sensed her approach. “You kids might want to reconsider picking on someone who can’t put up a fair fight.”

“What’s it to you, lady?” the biggest kid snapped. Without waiting for an answer, he stepped towards Ahsoka, his hands raised to shove her backwards. She slipped to the side easily and he stumbled past her.

“Uh, Bret, maybe that’s not a good idea,” one of the other younglings warned.

“Why not?” Bret growled, facing Ahsoka again. “She’s clearly not from around here. She should mind her own business!”

He lunged at the Togruta again, aiming a punch at her face. She sidestepped again and used one hand against his forearm to redirect him. Bret stumbled again, tripping on his own momentum.

That still didn’t deter him. He spun around once again and aimed a sloppy roundhouse kick at her this time. Ahsoka easily caught his leg, trapping him. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

“Look, kid. That thing I said about finding a fair fight? This isn’t it.” Still gripping Bret’s leg, she took a step forward, off balancing him and sending him down onto his back. Then she released him and stepped towards one of the walls, unblocking the alley’s exit.

“Whatever,” Bret muttered, scrambling to his feet. Then he took off towards the main street, with the rest of the bigger kids following.

Once they were gone, Ahsoka turned towards the smaller youngling, who was staring at her with wide green eyes. The kid had short, dark brown hair and bronze skin, a shade darker than Fives’. He had a couple bruises marking his face, but otherwise seemed unharmed.

“Are you okay?” the Togruta asked.

“Yes, I’m okay, thank you!” The words began spilling out of the youngling’s mouth almost faster than she could catch them. “My name is Ruta. That was amazing! My dad does moves like that. You should meet my dad. What’s your name?”

“I’m Ahsoka,” she said, extending a hand.

Ruta shook her hand, but then didn’t let go. “Ahsoka, you have to meet my dad. Come on!” He started dragging her out of the alley.

“Oh, what, okay.” She trotted behind him, letting him lead her through the streets of Kaloshan, having no idea where he was taking her. Her instinct was to say she was busy and return to the market, but there was something about the eager look in Ruta’s green eyes that she couldn’t refuse.

The boy led her towards one of the taller buildings in town. It had a wide staircase and pillars on either side of the double doors at the front. Ahsoka guessed this building was Kaloshan’s town hall or something of that nature.

But then, a couple blocks before reaching the prominent building, the youngling veered off the main road, to a one story, duracete building, with a basic, wooden door. Ahsoka almost tensed with suspicion, but reminded herself that she felt no ill intent from Ruta and she could take care of herself, if need be. I told Fives I’d be careful though. It was too late; she was already being dragged through the door.

The interior of the building was larger than it appeared from the outside. Ahsoka found herself in a small area that appeared to be a lobby. There was an open door off to the side and she was able to see a wide open room. The floor of the room was covered with orange and blue mats, and there was a crowd of younglings lined up in the center. A large man with pale skin and blond hair was pacing in front of the kids.

The man shouted a command and the younglings assumed a fighting position. Then the instructor called out several more orders and the kids performed various punches and kicks in time with the commands.

Then Ruta was dragging her to the other side of a lobby, to the entrance of a small office. “Dad!” he called through the doorway.

A man emerged from the office. He looked like an adult version of Ruta, but with a hint of stubble on his jaw and light brown eyes. Ahsoka’s first thought was how attractive he was, but she quickly pushed that aside as Ruta continued talking.

“Dad! Dad! This is Ahsoka. Those bullies were back, but she chased them off. She knows martial arts, like you. She should work here!”

“Nice to meet you, Ahsoka.” The man extended his hand to her, fixing her with a warm smile. “Thank you for helping Ruta with those bullies. I’m Vero Das, at your service.”

“It was no problem at all,” the Togruta said, shaking his hand. His grip was firm and confident. “Is this a martial arts school?”

“It is. We’re the only dojo in Kaloshan, so we train students of all ages, including adults.”

Ahsoka furrowed her eyebrow markings. In the Republic, the Jedi trained in martial arts, as did law enforcement and soldiers, but she’d seldom seen civilians learning such techniques so formally. “If you don’t mind me asking, what are you training for?”

Vero gave her a perplexed look, then smiled again. “Here, we learn martial arts to help develop life skills. To learn discipline, patience, and humility. To learn how to defend ourselves and, of course, to have fun.”

Oh. Ahsoka had never pictured a situation in which people would train for themselves and their own benefit, rather than a sense of duty. There was something incredibly fascinating about the concept.

“Do you need any instructors?” she asked.

“Yes!” Ruta almost shouted.

“Save it for class, Ruta,” Vero said, patting his son on top of his head. Then he turned back to the Togruta. “Yes. We’re open all day, four days a week, so we can always use more teachers. And, based on Ruta’s level of excitement, it seems that you’re quite skilled.”

“I’m looking for full time work,” Ahsoka told him. “What do I need to do?”

“Let’s do this. Come back tomorrow at 0900 for morning classes. I’ll introduce you to everyone and we’ll show you around and see how you do teaching.”

“I’ll do that. Thank you, Vero.”

As Ahsoka left the dojo and made her way back to the market, excitement stirred in her chest in a way it hadn’t since she was a Jedi. She had always loved teaching the younglings at the Temple and the idea of working with kids again filled her with a surprising, but not unwelcome, amount of exhilaration.

Chapter Text

Fives tried to rest more after Ahsoka left, but wasn’t surprised when he couldn’t. His mind was still racing with more thoughts than he could process, but the loudest was the pounding reminder that Tup was gone.

When he and Ahsoka left Coruscant, Fives wasn’t naïve enough to think that he’d see any of his brothers again. They were trying to disappear and, if he was wanted by the Republic, then his own brothers would be trying to capture him. So he knew he wouldn’t see his best friends again. Tup, Rex, Kix, Jesse… But at least he knew they would be alive and as safe as any clone could hope to be. Clearly that wasn’t the case.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Tup. When Echo was lost at the Citadel, Fives hadn’t expected he’d be that close to any brother again. But then he and Tup bonded after the devastating campaign on Umbara. The younger clone had been thrown head first into one of the most traumatic battles since the war began and lost his batchmate in the process. Dogma hadn’t died, of course, but he’d been taken from the 501^st and everyone knew they’d never see him again.

All of the clones understood loss too well, but in many ways, losing a batchmate was so much worse. Fives understood that more deeply than most and he refused to let Tup experience that grief alone. They’d stuck together after that, as best they could between Fives’ ARC missions. But now his vod’ika was gone. Worse, he’d been there and, as far as he knew, he’d done nothing to stop it. Maybe it had even been his fault.

Fives got up from the couch, grabbed Ahsoka’s datapad that had been sitting on the kitchen counter, returned to the sofa, and began tinkering with the device. It wouldn’t work without a new battery, but there were some other things he could fix until they were able to get one.

He was really just trying to distract himself. He wished he’d gone with Ahsoka. His thoughts still swirled, but he felt numb at the same time, as if his vibrant emotions from the night before were now obscured by a fog. They were still there and he couldn’t stop thinking, but he supposed it was better than before.

The longer his friend was gone, the more his shoulders tensed with worry. He knew she could take care of herself; she’d always been more capable than him or any other soldier. But this environment was still mostly unknown to them and, though it had seemed peaceful, based on what they’d seen the previous night, he wasn’t ready to believe that they were safe just yet.

Then there was that constant, underlying dread. He’d first felt it after the battle on Rishi, when he’d lost most of his squad, then it had sharpened when he lost Echo. Now that Tup was gone too, the dread only rose and he had to force it back down before it joined the rest of his dismal thoughts. He still knew it was there, though. I can’t lose anyone else I love.

He wasn’t quite sure “love” was the correct word to associate with Ahsoka. Usually he reserved that for his closest brothers. He and the former Jedi had hardly been together a week and before that, their relationship had been friendly, but mainly professional.

But she was all he had now. She’d done so much–given up so much–for him and he knew he wouldn’t be here now if not for her. He couldn’t let anything happen to her. If anyone deserved the chance to survive and have a better life, it was Ahsoka.

The sound of the front door opening startled him out of his thoughts and he leapt to his feet, ignoring the pain that still throbbed in his left leg. He relaxed when he saw Ahsoka enter, carrying several shopping bags, and he hurried over to help her. He immediately noticed a lightness in her expression that hadn’t been there before.

“How’d it go?” he asked, carrying his share of the bags to the kitchen counter.

“I got a job!” That explained why her cerulean eyes were shining.

“Wow, that was fast. Where?”

She quickly recounted the story of running into the group of younglings, chasing off the bullies, meeting Ruta, and the boy dragging her to his father’s dojo. “I’m going to be one of the instructors there. Well, I’m going there tomorrow and they’ll see how I do and they’ll decide for sure if they want to hire me.”

“I can’t see why they wouldn’t,” he said assuredly. He hadn’t seen her this excited since before she left the Order and he hoped he’d get to see it more. Her brightness made his own thoughts a little less dark.

“Thanks, Fives,” she said, flashing him a genuine smile.

They got to work putting away the items she’d brought. She’d gotten them a week’s worth of instant meals, along with some ingredients, so maybe they could learn to make some real food. She’d gotten a med kit with enough bacta patches, bacta cream, and other supplies to last them for a while, assuming they didn’t find themselves in a firefight.

Finally, Fives was able to put a real bacta patch on his poorly healing blaster wound and Ahsoka helped him put a couple across his ribs. Now that his injuries could be properly and consistently treated, they should heal much more quickly.

They ate a couple instant meals, deciding that they wouldn’t attempt cooking until that evening. Then they set out to do the rest of their errands. This mainly included purchasing some more clothes and other basic supplies, but also stopping at the electronics store, so they could get a battery for Ahsoka’s datapad.

As they walked through the town, Fives felt himself tensing and his chest tightened once again. Everyone they passed cast them a friendly look, but the streets were far less crowded, and they stood out much more than they had on Coruscant or Alsakan.

Then he felt warmth brush against his mind and his fingers. He turned to meet Ahsoka’s calm, blue gaze. She had reached out to gently take hold of his hand and he could feel her using the Force to comfort him. She always knows. His anxiety wasn’t completely extinguished, but he felt himself relaxing almost instantly. He squeezed her hand in silent gratitude. She waited until they’d reached the electronics shop to let go.

The shop was small and a bit cluttered. To Fives’ relief, there didn’t appear to be any other customers there at the moment.

When they entered, an older man, most likely the shop owner, emerged from a door at the back of the store. He was shorter than average, with a thick build. His hair was mostly gray, but looked like it had been brown previously, and he had a matching beard.

“What can I do for you kids?” he asked. His voice was bright and friendly, in keeping with the tone of the rest of the town.

Fives handed the man Ahsoka’s datapad. “Do you have a battery for this?”

The store owner glanced at the device for hardly more than a second before stepping over to a counter along the back wall of the store. He put down the datapad, then turned to rifle through a set of drawers behind the counter. After a moment, he turned back with a black battery in hand.

“This should work. Would you like me to repair the datapad for you as well?” he offered, examining the device a bit more closely.

“No thank you, sir,” Fives responded politely. “I can fix it myself. I just needed the part.”

The shop owner stared at the clone for a moment with narrowed, brown eyes. “What else can you fix, young man?”

Fives shrugged modestly. “Anything electronic, I guess.” ARC training had involved a heavy amount of building, programming, slicing into different devices, so he was fairly confident that he could figure out most common electronic machines.

The older man’s eyes seemed to light up. “Wait here, just a second.” Without waiting for a response, he turned and disappeared through the doorway to the back of the shop.

Fives exchanged a look with Ahsoka, who shrugged. He knew she could sense the store owner’s Force signature, so she would know if he had any sort of nefarious intent, but she didn’t indicate that she’d felt that.

The man reappeared with an old BD unit droid and set it on the counter. “I’ve been working on this droid for a customer, but I’ve run into a problem,” he began. “Most of the fixes were pretty simple, but I can’t seem to get it to connect to other droids or devices, as it should be able to. Whenever I try, it overheats or simply won’t connect.”

“Maybe this person should just get a new droid,” Ahsoka suggested.

“That’s what I told them, but they were insistent that I fix this particular droid, even if it takes longer.”

While Fives agreed with his friend, he wouldn’t have been surprised if the droid’s owner had an emotional attachment to it. He recalled how much General Skywalker cared about his R2 unit, as if it were a living creature.

Suddenly there was a sharp press on Fives’ chest and he had to force himself not to react physically. He didn’t even know what he was reacting to. He felt Ahsoka glance at him, clearly sensing his mental shift. Thankfully, she didn’t respond otherwise and he was able to get himself to refocus on reality and the man in front of them.

If the shop owner noticed, he didn’t indicate as such and continued speaking. “Clearly, there’s something I’m missing. I’d be happy to pay you if you can fix it,” he said, looking at Fives.

The clone was actually a bit shocked and he paused a moment before answering. Sure, he’d trained in programming and slicing, but it had really been Echo’s strong suit. He felt a dull ache in his heart at the thought of his twin and he suppressed a sigh. As much as he valued the memories of his brother, he wished that he could get through at least one interaction without triggering painful emotions.

“I can do that,” he agreed, after a moment.

“Excellent!” The older man grinned widely. “The name is Rik Jakorr, by the way.”

Fives exchanged another look with Ahsoka before they introduced themselves.

“Well, Fives,” Rik said. “If you can repair the BD unit, I’ll pay you and you’d be welcome to work here, if you need a job.”

“Thank you, sir. Before I do anything else, I promised my friend I’d fix her datapad.”

“I can wait, I don’t mind,” Ahsoka said quickly, but Fives shook his head.

“I promised you first. It won’t take long,” he assured her.

Fives was right; it took him less than ten standard minutes to fix the datapad. Ahsoka could tell Rik was as impressed as she was when her friend finished the repairs and handed her datapad back to her.

“You don’t have to look so surprised,” Fives teased, as she took the device from him.

“I didn’t look surprised!” she protested quickly. He just flashed a half-grin at her and she felt herself smiling too. “Seriously though, thanks, Fives.”

He shrugged modestly, but she could see the pride in his amber eyes. “It’s the least I could do. I’m the one who broke it in the first place. Anyway, I’m not sure how long it’ll take me to fix this droid. You don’t have to wait for me.”

“You’re welcome to hang out here, if you’d like,” Rik chimed in. “I can make some tea.”

“Sure, that’d be nice,” Ahsoka said. She didn’t get any negative sensations from Rik, but she wasn’t completely sure she trusted him yet. She also wasn’t sure she wanted to leave Fives alone. Maybe I’m being a bit too protective, she admitted to herself. But the shop owner had offered for her to stay and she had nowhere else to be.

Rik led them to a cozy room in the back of the store. There were a couple couches with a low table between them, where Fives settled to work, and a higher table with chairs, where Ahsoka sat, while their host brewed tea in a tiny adjoining kitchen.

Her friend hadn’t wanted anything to drink, so Rik finished making the tea and sat at the table with Ahsoka, passing her a steaming mug. They chatted casually while Fives worked, keeping their voices low, so as not to distract him. Every once in a while, a bell would ring, indicating that a customer had entered the store and Rik would go out to the main shop to help them. Usually he was only gone a few minutes and then would return to chat with Ahsoka. At one point, he brought some sort of remote control with him and began tinkering with it while they talked.

“You both are new in town, right?” the older man asked. Suspicion was the Togruta’s first instinct, but she still couldn’t sense any ill intent. If anything, the shop owner just seemed genuinely curious.

“Yes, we just moved from off world,” she answered, but didn’t elaborate further.

“Most folks around here are locals, born and raised on Voria, but we always welcome new faces,” Rik told her. Then he lowered his voice. “Don’t worry, hardly anyone else in town knows what a clone looks like, so they won’t recognize him.”

Ahsoka felt alarm zap through her, but she kept her voice steady. “What makes you think Fives is a clone?”

“I’ve been around and I pay more attention than most,” he said. She supposed that was a fair answer. The GAR was spread all across the galaxy, even if not here; the clones’ appearances weren’t exactly a secret. “Don’t worry. Even if anyone here does recognize him, no one will turn him in.”

“How can you be sure?” she asked, narrowing her eyes. She noted the thorn of fear that had formed in her chest at the thought of anything happening to Fives.

“Here on Voria, we have the freedom to do whatever we want with our lives and we believe that everyone should be afforded that opportunity, no matter where they come from.”

“Wow, that’s… hard to believe,” she commented, still keeping her tone neutral.

Rik smiled lightly in understanding. “It certainly isn’t something you can find most places in the galaxy. But, if you stay here long enough, you’ll see. It’s not perfect and we still have our typical small town problems, but most of us do our best to support those around us.”

“If that’s true, I guess we came to the right place.” She took a sip of her tea.

“It’s definitely a good location for young couples.” Ahsoka almost choked on her drink. “How long have you two been together?”

The Togruta had to clear her throat before answering. “We’re not a couple,” she corrected him. “We live together, but we’re just friends. Or I guess roommates?”

Rik scratched at his beard and cast her a skeptical look, but didn’t comment further on the subject.

It took Fives about three standard hours to fix the BD unit. As he showed Rik what he’d done and demonstrated his work, Ahsoka couldn’t help but reflect again on how much she’d learned about her friend over the last week. She’d always had a high opinion of him, but she hadn’t realized just how intelligent and adaptive he was until she started spending more time with him. Not to mention how thoughtful and caring he could be, as well.

“This is incredible!” Rik exclaimed, once he’d finished inspecting Fives’ work. “You did in three hours what I couldn’t do in three days! Young man, if you want to come work for me full time, the job is yours. I could really use someone like you around.”

Ahsoka watched as her friend rubbed the back of his neck at the older man’s praise. She was slightly surprised; she’d always thought he seemed more cocky back in the GAR, around his brothers. Maybe his insecurities were showing through more now, considering recent events and their new environment.

“Thank you, sir,” Fives said. “That sounds good.”

They decided that Fives would start the following day and Rik made sure to give him his pay for working on the droid. Ahsoka tried to give the shop owner some credits for the datapad battery, but he waved her away, saying that Fives had been so much help, they should just take it.

By the time they thanked Rik and left the electronics shop, it was midafternoon. They stopped by a couple stores to get some more clothes and other things that they needed. They were walking past a tactical store when Fives stopped suddenly.

“Let’s go in here,” he said. Before Ahsoka could respond, her friend was already opening the door and waving her through.

This store was slightly larger than Rik’s and stocked with common weaponry. Everything was pretty basic; certainly not GAR quality. Ahsoka followed Fives through a couple aisles until he stopped in front of the pistol selection.

“Why are we here?” she asked, standing close beside him, so she could speak quietly.

“We’re getting blasters,” he answered, still scanning the pistols.

“I’ve never used a blaster,” she reminded him.

“Well, you’re going to now.” Ahsoka was shocked at the sharp determination in his amber eyes that left no room for argument.

Fives picked out two DL-18 blasters, one black and one silver, and purchased them with some of the money he’d gotten from Rik. Once they’d left the shop, Ahsoka spoke up again.

“Fives, I understand you wanting a blaster, but I’ve never used one,” she said again.

He turned to face her now, his expression earnest. “I know this town feels safe, but we never know what trouble we could run into. We should have as many available options as possible.” She opened her mouth to protest again, but he continued. “I’ll show you how to use it. I just want to know you’re safe, ‘Soka.”

She felt a warmth spread through her at his concern. He was the one who was struggling more, but once again, he was worrying about her.

“Okay,” she agreed, smiling softly. “Thanks, Fives.”

The Voria sun was still relatively high in the sky, so they decided they might as well use the remaining daylight to practice with their new blasters. They stopped at their apartment to drop off their purchases and have a late lunch, then headed out again. Fives didn’t voice his thoughts, but the sooner he knew Ahsoka could use a blaster, the better he’d feel.

Maybe I’m being unreasonably protective, he reflected. His friend was a former Jedi and the most capable person he knew, but he couldn’t help but worry, especially knowing that they’d be away from each other every day for work. He couldn’t let anything happen to her.

They made their way out into one of the fields at the edge of town. Some of the land that Fives had seen outside Kaloshan seemed to be farmland, but this stretch of tall grass appeared to be unowned. A few trees dotted the field, so they selected one with a particularly thick trunk to use as target practice.

“Do you know how to hold a blaster?” he asked, handing her the silver pistol.

“I assume you mean something other than just putting my hand on the grip and pointing?” she asked, with a playfully sarcastic tone.

“Uh, yes.” He tried to look exasperated, but ended up chuckling instead.

“Show me then.”

“Okay, put your hand out with your palm up.” He demonstrated with his right hand. “Then place the blaster in your palm, like this.” He moved closer to her to make sure she was copying him correctly. “You’re going to keep your trigger finger straight and curl the others around the grip. Make sure your hand is as high on the grip as possible.”

“How’s this?” she asked. It was almost correct, but her grip still wasn’t high enough.

“I said as high as possible.”

“This is as high as possible!” she protested.

“No, it’s not.”

He tucked his own blaster into his belt and stepped closer to her. He placed his right hand behind hers and used his left to adjust the blaster until there was no more space between her palm and the top of the grip.

“There, that’s better,” he said. “Now, add your other hand.”

“Other hand?” She looked over her shoulder at him. “I’m not going to shoot with just one hand?”

“No, let’s start with two.”

“But you use one hand all the time!” she pointed out, scrunching her nose defiantly.

“Because I’ve been shooting since I was old enough to hold a blaster. You’re the one who said you’ve never used one before.” They were both smiling, despite their argumentative words.

“Fine.” She let out a small huff. “Show me.”

“Just take your left hand and cover the fingers of your right hand on the grip.” He pulled his blaster back out to demonstrate.

“What do I do with my thumbs?” she asked, still shuffling her left hand to adjust her grip.

“Just put them side by side under the barrel.” When she stared blankly at him, he moved to manually adjust her grip again. “There.”

“Okay, I’m holding the blaster. Can I point and shoot now?”

“We need to fix your stance.”

“Fives! This isn’t the GAR,” she whined.

“It doesn’t matter. A good grip and stance will make a big difference when your adrenaline is pumping,” he explained.

“Fine, fix my stance,” she grumbled, though she was still grinning.

“It’s nothing major. Just bend your elbows a tiny bit, so you can absorb the recoil.” He walked behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “And square your shoulders,” he said, as he gently straightened her posture.

“Can I shoot now?” she asked.

“Yes, go ahead.”

“Finally!” she exclaimed and immediately fired off four rounds. Each bolt hit a different spot on the tree, creating black marks on the pale gray bark, but he was impressed that she had hit the target with all of her shots.

“Not bad,” he said. “Now do that again, but try to put all your bolts in one spot.”

“Got it!” she said, with a fresh note of determination in her voice.

As she continued to practice, Fives realized that he was still standing close behind her and he’d never removed his hands from her shoulders. He supposed neither of them had really been shy about physical contact these past few days, but it had almost exclusively been out of necessity.

There was something strange about touching Ahsoka when it wasn’t for emotional support. He didn’t mind, though. In this casual setting, devoid of intense emotion, he realized he really liked being so close to her. She hadn’t reacted to his touch at all, so either she felt the same or was indifferent to it. At least she didn’t seem to mind.

“I did it!” she almost shouted, when she managed to get all her bolts in a single spot. Fives was impressed; it hadn’t taken her too long at all. Jedi skills.

“Good job,” he praised, finally taking his hands off her shoulders. “You mastered that pretty quickly.”

“You don’t have to look so surprised,” she teased, and he laughed at her using his own words against him.

“Believe me, I’m not surprised at all.”

“Do you want a turn?” she asked, stepping to the side to make room for him in front of the tree.

“Not sure I need it,” he said cheekily.

“What, afraid you can’t do better than I did?” she challenged, though he was certain she knew his skill level.

“Alright then.” He pulled out his own blaster and held out his other hand. “Mind if I borrow that?”

“I’m still annoyed that you get to use two,” she huffed, handing over her blaster.

“You’re the one who didn’t want a blaster in the first place!” he laughed.

“I guess you’ve changed my mind then,” she shrugged, smirking. “Are you going to show me what you can do or what?”

“Let’s move to the other side of the tree,” he said.

“Why?”

“So I can see my own shots,” he gestured towards the trunk, which was now almost solid black, marked up with the evidence of Ahsoka’s target practice. She followed him around the opposite side of the tree. “Ready to see some real shooting?” He flashed her a smirk.

“Oh, I can’t wait,” she responded, with a good natured eye roll.

“You’re the one who offered me a turn,” Fives pointed out, stepping forward and spinning the blasters over his fingers a couple times.

He heard her mutter, “Show off,” from behind him.

Without pausing to think, he aimed and rapidly fired ten precise shots at the tree. Then straightened his posture and gestured for Ahsoka to look.

She took a couple steps closer to the tree. Suddenly her hand flew to her mouth, covering a gasp. His bolt marks on the trunk were in the exact shape of an Aurebesh five. She turned to face him and he actually felt his face warm at the amazement in her blue eyes.

“So…?” he asked, after a moment.

She averted her gaze and cleared her throat. “It was, uh, not bad.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle at her stubbornness. “Geez, what do I have to do to impress you?” he joked.

She looked at him again and he busied himself with securing the blasters to his belt, while he waited for her answer. To his surprise, her lips spread into a small smile and admiration was shining in her eyes again.

“Nothing.” Suddenly her voice softened. “You already impress me all the time, Fives.”

He just stared at her, feeling the heat return to his face. I impress her? Other than the brazen display of his shooting skills just now, he couldn’t imagine how.

“Come on, let’s get back to the apartment,” Ahsoka suggested, when he didn’t respond. The sky had started to darken as sunset approached. As they started walking, she added, “thanks.”

“For what?” he asked, turning to look at her.

“For the blaster and for showing me how to use it.”

“Anytime, ‘Soka.”

Chapter Text

Ahsoka was exhausted by the time they got back to the apartment. It was only their first day in this town and it had been an incredibly long, but successful one. They’d both found work, obtained food and other living necessities, and Fives had even made sure they had weapons.

She still wasn’t sure if or when she’d use the DL-18 blaster, but she was grateful to her friend all the same. She had actually enjoyed learning to shoot and, of course, giving Fives a bit of a hard time. At one point, she’d worried she’d gone too far, but every time she glanced at him, he was grinning.

She also had to admit that she’d enjoyed the amount of physical contact between them during the lesson. Since they’d reunited, she hadn’t been shy about initiating contact with Fives, especially to comfort him when he needed it most. 

But this time, neither of them had been experiencing any heightened emotions and he’d been the one who seemed to be touching her at every opportunity. He’d even kept his hands on her shoulders for most of the time that she was practicing. Not that she minded. For some reason, having him there had actually made her feel a bit more stable while she was shooting.

Ahsoka had been planning to try to cook for them that evening, but by the time they crossed the threshold of the apartment, she was almost ready to drop. Fives heated up some instant meals for them and they agreed that they’d attempt cooking tomorrow.

She set up a holovid on her newly repaired datapad for them to watch while they ate. As they sat on the couch together, she felt her mind drifting from the holo to what Rik had told her about the people on Voria having the freedom to do what they wanted.

She knew that freedom was a good thing, but the shop owner’s words had formed an unexpected knot of unease in her stomach. As a Jedi, she’d always had a purpose in her life, something to do and work for. She hadn’t had that with the Martez sisters, but somehow she’d known that living situation was never permanent. But this one could be and she wasn’t sure she would truly feel like she belonged without a greater purpose.

She supposed helping Fives was her purpose at the moment, but that wouldn’t last forever. He’d heal and move on and she’d be left wandering life aimlessly. She hadn’t the slightest clue of what to do with freedom like that.

“Are you okay?” Fives’ deep voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

Kriff. The last thing either of them needed was him worrying about her when he had more important things to focus on, like his own recovery.

“I’m fine, it’s nothing,” she said, a bit too quickly. It was true, though. She couldn’t let such minor concerns get her.

“’Soka, you can tell me if something’s wrong.” His brown eyes were blinking worriedly at her.

She forced a more relaxed look onto her face. “Thank you, but I’m fine. I’m just tired and thinking about starting work tomorrow.” It wasn’t a complete lie; she had been thinking about starting her new job too. I’m sure I’ll feel better once I’m working, she told herself.

“Okay, if you’re sure,” Fives said, going back to his meal. He seemed convinced, for now at least.

They finished their food and got ready for sleep. It took some convincing, but Fives finally agreed to allow Ahsoka to use the Force to help him sleep again. With everything still being so new, she figured now wasn’t the time to test sleeping on his own and he’d reluctantly agreed. She knew he felt bad for relying on her, which made her all the more relieved when he let her help.

Then she retreated to the bedroom. She fell asleep almost immediately when she lay down in her bed and she slipped right into a dream.

Images flashed through her mind and it was like she was watching herself from the outside, almost like a holovid. She saw Anakin and Obi-Wan. She saw Rex and he was holding an orange-painted helmet. She thought she saw a pattern on it, but the image shifted before she could study it further. She saw herself with her lightsabers, but they were blue now. Then black and red filled her vision.

Fives’ shout cut through her unconsciousness and she practically leapt out of bed. Her mind was whirling, still disoriented from her dream, but she ignored it. She rushed out to the living room to find her friend breathing heavily on the couch, where he slept.

Just as she had the previous night, she quickly flipped on one of the lights, then knelt beside him and placed her hand on the side of his head. She focused on his mind and sent comfort to him through the Force. When their minds touched, she grimaced at the cold fear she was met with.

“Fives, wake up,” she said, trying to keep her voice calm. “I’m right here. You’re safe.”

He was taking longer to wake this time. Her own dream completely forgotten now, she focused harder on pushing light and warmth to him, trying to vanquish whatever dark force had its grip on her friend.

Finally, his eyes shot open and his hands flew to the left side of his chest. “Am I alive?” His voice was tight with desperation.

“You’re alive, Fives,” Ahsoka said gently. Why would he think he’s not?

His eyes, dark brown in the low light, fixed on her and he seemed to relax, if only slightly. His breathing was returning to normal as well. “I-I was shot. I was dying,” he said quietly, one hand still clutching at his chest.

“You’re not dying,” she assured him. “You’re alive and you’re here with me, in our apartment. We’re safe.”

He nodded and sat up, but kept his hand where it was. She rose to sit beside him. “It’s just… it felt so real,” he said, staring into space as he spoke. “Like a memory or like it was supposed to happen…”

“But it didn’t happen. You’re here and you're alive,” she reminded him again.

“Right…” He seemed lost in thought, his eyes looking at something she couldn’t see. Maybe he’s remembering more?

When he didn’t move for a moment, she started to reach for his hand, but he jerked it away. Suddenly he was facing her, his hands gripping her shoulders and his brown eyes boring into her blue ones.

“Ahsoka, did you tell anyone that you used to be a Jedi?”

“What, no, I didn’t.” She fumbled with her words, completely caught off guard by his intensity.

“You can’t tell anyone. No matter what. Promise me you won’t tell anyone.”

“Okay, I won’t, I promise.” He was still holding her by her shoulders and she slowly placed her hands on his forearms. “What’s going on, Fives?” she asked softly.

He stared at her for another moment, then took his hands back, seeming to deflate. “I can’t remember,” he said dejectedly.

She took one of his hands and this time he didn’t pull away. “It’s okay. What do you know that you can tell me?”

“Just…” He paused to take a breath. “The Jedi are in danger. Or they will be.” She opened her mouth to ask for more details, but he kept talking. “I don’t know how or when or why. I just know that you can’t let anyone know that you were a Jedi.” He squeezed her hand.

“Okay.” She put her free hand over his, so his hand was cradled between both of hers. “I trust you. If you say I should keep that part of my life a secret, then I will.”

“Thank you.” To her surprise, he extracted his hand from hers and then leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her torso, pulling her close to him. “I just… I’ve lost everyone else.” She heard his voice catch. “I can’t lose you too.”

She hugged him back tightly. “You won’t. I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered next to his ear.

They held each other for a few moments before he let out a deep sigh. “I’m sorry for waking you again.” His voice rumbled against her montral.

“You don’t have to apologize. You shouldn’t be going through this alone.”

“Thanks,” he said again.

Ahsoka let them sit for another minute before speaking again. “I have an idea.” He sat back to look at her. “Let me show you how to meditate.”

“Meditate? Why? I’m not a Jedi.”

“You don’t have to be. Anyone can meditate,” she explained. “It helps clear and soothe the mind. I didn’t suggest it before because we didn’t really have a safe place to do it, but now we do.”

“If you think it’ll help,” he said, sounding a bit doubtful.

She scooted back a little on the couch, crossed her legs, and motioned for him to do the same. “Give me your hands,” she said, once they were facing each other. He obediently reached out to place his hands in hers. “Now close your eyes.”

His whole body tensed. “I’d rather not.”

“How about we breathe a bit with our eyes open first, then?” she suggested and he nodded his consent.

She talked him through the breathing exercises, similar to the way she guided him when he panicked. His Force signature was still tight and agitated, but she felt his tension lifting the more they breathed.

“We’re going to close our eyes now, okay?” she said, after a few minutes. His grip tightened around her fingers. “Fives, do you trust me?”

“Always.” Their eyes met and as she stared into his amber depths, she was astonished to see how deep that trust ran. When he closed his eyes, she could still feel that emotion through the Force.

She closed her eyes as well and began to lead him through the meditation. She helped him clear his mind, casting away the cold shadows, and replacing them with light and warmth. After a while, she felt him truly begin to relax and, when she was sure he’d calmed enough to be able to sleep, she opened her eyes again.

“How do you feel?” she asked.

He took a deep breath as he opened his eyes, but it was much less labored than before. “Better. Thank you, Ahsoka.” He squeezed her hands and she did the same.

She stood up from the couch, so he could lie back down.

“We’ll practice every day, okay?” she said. “Eventually, you’ll be able to meditate on your own.”

“Sounds like a plan. Thanks,” he said again, almost cutting himself off with a yawn. That was a good sign.

“Do you want me to stay until you fall asleep?”

“No, it’s okay.” He sighed, though the action was more tired than anything else. “I can’t ask you to spend every night waiting for me to sleep.”

“It won’t be every night,” she said, kneeling next to him. She placed a gentle hand on the side of his head and used her thumb to stroke his temple. He closed his eyes as she spoke and he leaned slightly into her touch. “Eventually, you won’t need my help anymore.”

“I don’t think that will happen,” he breathed as he drifted into unconsciousness.

She stared at him, puzzled by his statement. Does he think he’ll always need my help? She hoped that wasn’t true, for his sake. She would have asked him what he meant if he wasn’t clearly asleep now. It did occur to her that he hadn’t seemed distressed when making that comment, so maybe he didn’t mean it in a bad way, somehow? Or maybe he was just really tired.

He was sleeping now and that’s what mattered. She got up, turned the light off, and returned to her room, silently praying that he wouldn’t have any more nightmares tonight. Or ever, though she knew that was unlikely.

Ahsoka awoke the next morning to sounds coming from outside her bedroom. Why is Fives up so early? Though, when she checked her chrono, she realized it was past the time she’d wanted to get up.

She rubbed sleep from her eyes and sat up to stretch. She wouldn’t have to rush, but she wouldn’t have time to meditate, as she had planned to do. She’d have to set an alarm in the future.

Without changing out of her sleep shirt and shorts, she made her way out to the living room. The bitter scent of fresh caf touched her nose as she scanned the open area of the apartment. She’d already known her roommate was awake, but she hadn’t expected to find him in the kitchen staring at a carton of eggs.

“What are you doing?” she asked, causing Fives to jump with surprise.

He put the eggs down and used one hand to rub the back of his neck. “I was going to try to make us breakfast, but… I have no idea how,” he admitted.

Ahsoka felt her lips turning upwards with amusement. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I wouldn’t know what to do either.”

She reached over to one of the shelves next to the refrigerator, where she’d stowed a cookbook that she’d gotten at the store. She pulled out the book and handed it to Fives. “Here. This should help us.”

He took the flimsi book from her and stared at it for a moment. Then he smacked her on the shoulder with it. “Why didn’t you tell me about this before I spent my whole morning staring blankly at random ingredients?”

The hit to her shoulder was incredibly light, but her jaw still dropped with shock. “Excuse me? It was with the groceries I brought home. It’s not my fault you didn’t see it!”

“Or you could’ve, you know, told me you got it before storing it out of sight,” he pointed out.

“It wasn’t out of sight!”

“It was out of my sight. I don’t have fancy Togruta vision.”

Ahsoka burst out laughing. “Are you saying that ARC troopers can’t spot books because they can’t see as well as Togruta?”

He shrugged innocently. “Must be, because I didn’t see it.”

She snatched the book out of his hands and tried to smack him back with it, but he caught her arm. Then he dislodged the book from her grasp and held it high above his head.

“I don’t think you should be allowed to have this anymore if you’re going to resort of violence,” he teased.

“You hit me first!” She stepped towards him to jump and grab the book back, but he wrapped an arm around her waist, preventing her from leaving the ground. “Let me go!”

“Only if you promise to stop hiding books.”

She was trying her best to look frustrated, but Fives’ mischievous grin and the playful glimmer in his amber eyes made it impossible to even feign irritation. This was actually the most she’d ever seen him smile and something in the back of her mind noted how good he looked when he was enjoying himself.

“I can’t promise to stop doing something I never did,” she pointed out.

She was still held down by his greater physical strength, but her arms were free, and she swiftly used the Force to yank the book out of his hand and pull it back to hers. Then, before he could react, she wiggled out of his grasp.

“Can I have that back?” he asked, once he’d recovered from his shock at her using the Force to steal the book.

“Why?”

“How am I supposed to learn to cook without it?”

“Can I hit you with it first? It’s only fair.” She offered him a sly smirk.

“I thought revenge wasn’t the Jedi way,” he countered.

“Well, guess what.” She walked up to him, until she was almost close enough for her lekku to brush his chest. “I’m no Jedi.” She raised the cookbook and hit it lightly against his shoulder, then handed it back to him.

He took the book back, but she didn’t move just yet. She was enjoying the way he was still smiling at her and she was close enough that she could smell an unfamiliar scent on him. It was fresh and there was another smell that she couldn’t quite identify. It was a woodsy smell, almost like pine or some sort of tree. Did he get cologne or something when we were out yesterday? Whatever it was, it made her want to lean closer to him and she had to stop herself from doing so.

“I made caf,” Fives said, after they’d been standing there for a moment.

“Thanks.” She took the opportunity to finally step away from him and turn towards the caf pot. “I guess more instant meals for now?”

He chuckled. “Hey, I’m not complaining. They’re way better than ration bars.”

“That’s not saying much,” she pointed out.

“I guess not.”

Fives heated their food, while she finished pouring their caf, and then they sat together at the small kitchen bar. As they ate, Ahsoka couldn’t stop casting glances at her friend.

She could still sense the turmoil swirling around him, but it wasn’t quite as intense as before. She was also greatly reassured by the fact that he’d gotten up early, at least tried to make breakfast, and then had started joking with her. She knew he wouldn’t be fully healed overnight, but after seeing the smile on his face this morning, she felt sure they were headed in the right direction.

Chapter Text

“Ahsoka!” As soon as the Togruta stepped into the dojo lobby, Vero emerged from his office to greet her. “Come on, let me give you a tour and introduce you to the other instructors.”

He gestured towards the doorway that led to the wide training room, inviting her to enter first. Now that it was empty, the room looked even larger. The ceiling was high, with skylights along it, casting gold, morning sunlight onto the mats. Most of the floor was orange, but squares of blue mats divided the space into four rings.

“Just one thing.” Vero stopped her just as she placed her foot on the mat. “We always bow before we step onto the mats and before we step off. It’s a sign of respect to our training space.”

“Oh, sorry!” Ahsoka felt heat rush to her lekku. At the Jedi Temple, they would bow before sparring matches, but they didn’t have mats or even too many strictly defined training areas, like they did here. Oftentimes the young Jedi would find a space to train in the gym or Temple courtyard or wherever they felt like. 

“We didn’t have mats like this where I trained before,” she tried to explain. She really hoped her ignorance wouldn’t hurt her potential boss’ opinion of her.

“It’s alright.” His voice was smooth and reassuring. “We come from different backgrounds, so it only makes sense that our customs won’t line up precisely. You’ll learn how we do things here and, if there’s something you think we could improve on, let me know.”

The former Jedi nodded, letting his words sink in. In the Jedi Order and the GAR, everything had been so strict. As commander, she’d had some leeway with her decisions, but they had still been bound by rigid laws and procedures. For her superior to tell her that he wanted to hear her ideas, if she thought they could do something better… It felt oddly liberating.

After they bowed at the edge of the mats, Vero led her across the training room to yet another doorway at the back of the building. It led to a small, but cozy room. Without windows, the lighting was dimmer than in the training area and the atmosphere was much more serene. A holoprojector rested along one of the walls, along with a small refrigerator. In the center of the space were two black couches lined perpendicular to each other, each with a human stretched across it. This must be the break room, Ahsoka concluded.

She recognized one of the humans as the blond man that she’d seen teaching class the day before. The other person was a woman who also had pale skin and blonde hair. It was immediately obvious that they were siblings. When they turned to look at the Togruta, she saw that they had matching brown eyes and freckles dotted across their cheeks. Both appeared to be about Ahsoka’s age, though maybe a little older. The man had short hair, cut similar to Vero’s, but worn much messier. His sister had long, almost shiny, hair that was held up behind her head with a hair tie.

The woman jumped off the couch as soon as she saw Ahsoka. “You must be Ahsoka!” she said brightly, skipping over to shake the Togruta’s hand. “I’m Sadira.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Ahsoka said, shaking her hand.

“This is my brother, Crest.” Sadira gestured to where Crest was still sprawled across his chosen couch.

“Hey,” he said lazily. He stretched his hand out for Ahsoka to shake, but made no effort to move from his position.

Despite the man’s lax demeanor, the Togruta was surprised at how solid his hand was. Vero’s and Sadira’s had been the same and she noted the subtle confidence that all three martial artists projected, even through their handshakes.

“Sadira, do you mind showing Ahsoka how you teach the first class?” Vero said. Ahsoka noticed how he specifically asked her, rather than ordering. Even the most relaxed Jedi at the Temple would still tell Padawans what to do in a way that never allowed for argument.

“Absolutely!” Sadira responded. She turned to the Togruta. “Did he show you around yet?”

“I’ve seen the lobby and the training area,” Ahsoka told her.

The blonde woman turned back to her boss and raised an eyebrow. “Good job on the tour, Vero. She’s seen two rooms,” she said sarcastically.

Vero rolled his eyes good naturedly. “You are aware that this building only has four rooms that are accessible to all of us.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.” Sadira’s voice softened in mock reassurance.

Ahsoka was quite enjoying the back and forth between boss and employee. It reminded her quite a bit of when she would work and train with Anakin. She felt a brief pang of sadness in her chest at the thought of her old master.

Sadira finished Ahsoka’s tour of the dojo. She had already seen the lobby and the training room, so the blonde woman showed her around the break room and then she led her to Vero’s office. It was really just a tight room with a desk and a cabinet filled with flimsi files.

“We don’t come in here a ton, but we’re allowed to if we need to help him or a student with any clerical work,” Sadira explained. “Vero leaves a datapad in here, in case we need it. It’s his, but we all use it for the dojo.”

Then she led Ahsoka back across the training area to a pair of doors. One was red and the other was purple. “These are our locker rooms. Purple is for the guys and red is for us ladies.” She led the way inside and, just as when she’d first seen the dojo, Ahsoka was surprised at how much larger the room was than how it appeared from the outside.

Sadira showed her the lockers, refresher, and even a sonic. She let the Togruta pick out a locker for herself and showed her how to set her own combination. Ahsoka didn’t have much with her, but she did take the opportunity to stow her DL-18. She could train with it on her belt, of course, but with so many kids around, she figured it’d be best to just secure the blaster here while she worked.

Finally, it was time for classes to begin. Younglings and their parents had begun to trickle into the lobby while Ahsoka and Sadira were in the locker room. They all appeared to be between eight to twelve years of age, if the Togruta had to guess.

“I’m so happy we have another girl working here,” Sadira chirped, as they made their way out to the center of the mats.

Ahsoka furrowed her eyebrow markings. “How come?”

“Oh you know,” the blonde woman waved her hand as she spoke, “it gets tiring being around men all the time. They just don’t understand us like other women do.”

What? Ahsoka felt like her brain shorted out. It had never once in her life occurred to her that she needed to work with another woman. Of course, it had always been nice when she would hang out with Padmé and Riyo off duty, but she never thought much about the fact of their genders. Between Anakin, Obi-Wan, and the clones, she’d always worked with all men, save for the rare occasion when she would work with another female Jedi, and she’d never imagined it being any other way. And does being the same gender really mean someone understands you better? She doubted it, but she didn’t want to stomp on Sadira’s obvious excitement.

“I guess so,” she said noncommittally.

They waited in the center ring as fifteen younglings filed into the training room for class. Without being told, they lined themselves up in three neat rows of five. Sadira stood patiently in front of them, waiting for them to find their spots.

“How’s everyone?” she asked cheerfully, once kids had stopped moving around.

“Good, ma’am!” the class answered, mostly in unison. Ahsoka was impressed by their level of synchronization, considering these kids were neither Jedi younglings nor clone cadets.

“Let’s get started then.” Suddenly Sadira’s bubbly expression vanished, replaced by a sharp intensity, as she called the class to attention.

Ahsoka copied the other woman as she bowed to the class and they bowed in response. Then Sadira shouted a command and the students instantly shifted into fighting stances. She began to call out different moves and the kids performed each one in time with their instructor’s voice.

Of course, some of the younglings were sharper than others with their technique. After a few minutes, Sadira began pacing between the rows of kids. She continued to call out commands, but would swiftly correct students’ techniques in between. After about ten minutes of practicing individual moves, they stopped and Sadira led the class through various stretches.

“After this, we’ll split the class up to work with the students in smaller groups,” she told Ahsoka. “Why don’t you join me and my group for this class, and then you can try taking your own group later today.”

“Sounds good,” the Togruta agreed. She had taught younglings in fighting techniques several times before, but she wanted to get an idea of this dojo’s expectations before she jumped in on her own.

After the stretches, Crest and Vero emerged from the break room to help Sadira split up the students. They spent the rest of class working with their assigned pupils and, by the end, Ahsoka felt like she had a pretty good idea of the move sets the martial artists practiced here.

“So, what do you think?” Vero asked Ahsoka, once the class had bowed out.

“The techniques you use here are similar to the ones I’ve trained with,” she responded.

“Excellent. I’ll check back in at the end of the day.”

They spent the rest of the day teaching class after class. Crest ran the warmup for the second session, so Sadira and Ahsoka could take a break before it was once again time to split the students into their smaller groups. Then Vero started the next class, and then it was back to Sadira and Ahsoka.

Each class had students of different ages and skill levels; the largest group being almost thirty students and the smallest being only six.

The Togruta observed how the younglings responded to each instructor. Crest was the clear favorite. The students, especially the younger ones, always seemed excited to see him. Ahsoka had to hold back a laugh at one point when she saw him walking across the mats with three kids hanging from his arms and neck. She noted that, while the blond man had seemed rather lazy outside of the ring, he could snap into serious instructor mode, just as his sister did.

Sadira was intense and expected a lot from her students, but she was very fair. It seemed like, as long as her class worked hard, she didn’t care as much about their technique.

“Everyone can improve, but not if they don’t try,” she said at one point.

Of course, everyone knew Vero was the dojo’s master. Ahsoka noticed that the students respected him immensely, and seemed to regard him with a mixture of love and fear. He was always very kind with everyone he worked with but, perhaps due to his status, his students seemed much more determined to impress him over the other instructors.

Not all of the classes ran smoothly, of course. There would sometimes be a student, or two, who didn’t want to listen or who were struggling too much to keep up, but the instructors handled each case with a level of patience befitting a Jedi. The staff as a whole seemed to function incredibly well together and Ahsoka decided that she wouldn’t mind spending her days working with them.

After the first few classes, Sadira gave Ahsoka her own group of students to work with, saying that she could start leading classes over the next few days, once she got used to the routine. The Togruta hadn’t realized how much she’d missed teaching, and something about seeing younglings working hard and enjoying themselves filled her with a joy that she hadn’t felt in a long while.

They had just bowed out the last class of the day when Sadira let out what could only be described as a squeal. The sound was so shrill and unexpected that Ahsoka had to fight the urge to cover her montrals as the other woman slid over to her.

“There’s a really hot guy standing over there!” she whispered, leaning towards the Togruta. Ahsoka followed her gaze to see Fives leaning by the door frame at the edge of the lobby.

“Oh. That’s my friend and roommate,” the Togruta told her.

“Is he your boyfriend?” the instructor blurted out, before Ahsoka had even finished speaking.

“What? No!” The Togruta was already walking over to her roommate with Sadira shuffling eagerly beside her.

Fives had been scanning the dojo, but his amber eyes lit up when he spotted his friend approaching.

“What’re you doing here?” Ahsoka asked. She was happy to see him, of course, but she hadn’t realized he knew where the dojo was.

He shrugged. “I finished at work, so I thought I’d come check out the dojo.”

“This is Sadira,” Ahsoka introduced the other woman, who was still staring shamelessly at Fives.

“Nice to meet you,” Sadira added, thrusting her hand out. “I’m going to be one of Ahsoka’s coworkers.”

“I’m Fives,” he took her hand and their shake seemed to linger for some reason. “You have a lovely name, Sadira,” he added smoothly.

Sadira’s face suddenly flushed bright red and for a moment, Ahsoka was legitimately concerned that the blonde woman was about to faint. What’s happening?

Then a memory flashed in her mind. She’d never gone to 79’s with Torrent Company, but she’d heard the stories, and suddenly she recalled Fives’ reputation as a ladies’ man. She supposed she hadn’t had a reason to think about that until now and she wasn’t quite sure how she felt about it.

“So, Ahsoka,” she turned to see Vero coming up behind her, “how was your first day?”

“It was really good,” she said honestly.

“Excellent. Would you like to work here full time, then?”

Ahsoka felt her mouth spread into a smile. “Absolutely! Thank you, Vero.”

“Yes! We get to work together more!” Sadira seemed to have recovered and was now practically vibrating with excitement.

While Sadira celebrated her new coworker, Vero turned to Fives and extended his hand. “Vero Das. Nice to meet you.”

“Fives,” the clone said, politely returning the handshake.

“Fives is my roommate,” Ahsoka explained to her new boss, who nodded.

“So.” The dojo master clapped his hands together. “We have an instructors’ workout every day after classes. Would you both like to stay and join us?”

The two roommates exchanged a look. “We’ll be right there,” Ahsoka said, hoping to indicate that she wanted to talk to Fives alone for a moment.

Vero and Sadira both seemed to understand, and didn’t follow as the Togruta pulled her friend out into the now-empty lobby.

“What’s wrong?” Fives asked, once they were out of everyone else’s earshot. “Don’t you want to join them?”

“I do, but what about you?”

“I can join. It’s been a while since I’ve had a decent work out.” He furrowed his brow. “What’s wrong?” he asked again.

She stepped closer to him and lowered her voice. “What about your injuries?”

“I’ve had bacta on them for almost two days. I’m fine. Besides,” his mouth formed a half-smile, “ARCs don’t feel pain.”

“Sure they don’t.” She didn’t bother to hold back an eyeroll.

“I’ll be fine, ‘Soka,” he said again, this time placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Come on.” He used his hand to gently steer her back towards the training room.

“Oh yeah, how was your first day at work?” she asked, looking over her shoulder at him.

“Not bad.” She could tell it was an understatement by the warmth in his tone. “But I’ll tell you the rest later.”

Ahsoka showed Fives how they were supposed to bow before stepping onto the training mats, and then led them over to the center of the room, where Vero and Sadira were waiting.

“Is Crest joining us?” the Togruta asked.

Sadira snorted. “Okay, so when we say ‘instructors’ workout’, it’s actually just Vero and me working out.” Her voice rose until she was yelling. “Because I have the laziest brother ever!”

“I’ll join next time!” Crest’s voice sounded through the open door of the break room.

“You always say that!” his sister countered.

“Anyway,” Vero said loudly, drawing everyone’s attention back to him, “let’s start with some drills and then we’ll end with some sparring. Sound good?”

Suddenly Sadira whipped around to face Fives. “Do you want to be my partner, Fives?”

The first thing the clone did was glance at Ahsoka, as if asking her if it was okay for him to partner with Sadira. The Togruta just shrugged, not quite sure how to respond. You don’t need my permission to partner with someone else.

Seeming to take her shrug as agreement, he turned to the blonde woman, who had now placed herself close beside him. “I’d be honored,” he said, his voice dropping slightly.

“You can work with me, then,” Vero said and Ahsoka walked over to face him.

They didn’t do anything that she and Fives hadn’t done some version of in the GAR. They did some bodyweight exercises with their partners, then practiced various sets of strikes, then combinations of grappling techniques, both standing and on the floor.

Ahsoka made sure to glance at Fives and Sadira out of the corner of her eye once in a while. The instructor was clearly a skilled fighter, but still not GAR level. It was easy to see, for Ahsoka at least, how much Fives was holding back, especially when striking. She’d always heard that clones were much stronger than normal humans, though she hadn’t had the chance to see evidence of that fact. The soldiers used their weapons most of the time, rather than their hands, and usually it was against battle droids, rather than living beings.

She couldn’t even compare her own experience sparring with the clones, being a Togruta and, more significantly, a Jedi with Force-strength abilities. Of course, she wouldn’t be utilizing the Force while keeping her identity hidden here.

Sadira was good for a non-Force sensitive human, but Vero was on another level and it was easy to see why he was the dojo master. Ahsoka could tell her boss wasn’t using his full strength at first, testing to see what she could handle. However, she made no effort to hide her combat skills and he quickly increased his intensity to meet her. She knew she could overpower him using the Force, but without it, she felt like they were pretty evenly matched. This analysis was only based on their drills, though.

“Alright, let’s do some sparring,” Vero said, after they’d been training for the better part of a standard hour. “Have you guys ever played Ruler of the Ring?”

“I have!” Sadira answered.

“I have!” came Crest’s voice from the break room.

Vero ran a hand down his face, looking both exasperated and like he was trying not to burst out laughing. “And you guys?” he asked Ahsoka and Fives, choosing to ignore the siblings.

“I know I haven’t,” the Togruta answered, while Fives shook his head.

“Here’s how it works,” the dojo master began. “We have two people in the ring at a time and we spar until someone scores a point. A point can be a strike to the head, or to the front or side of the body; or a take down or grappling lock. Whoever scores first stays in the ring as the Ruler of the Ring. The loser will switch out and the next person fights the Ruler. The Ruler stays in until someone scores on them and we’ll see who can stay the Ruler the longest. Who wants to start?”

“I will.” Crest had come up behind them while Vero was speaking. He was wearing a tight, sleeveless shirt and, now that Ahsoka thought about it, he looked much too fit for someone who was too lazy to work out most days.

“Me too,” Ahsoka volunteered. She hadn’t seen Sadira’s brother do anything yet, other than teach, and she was curious of his skill level.

They faced each other in the ring. Crest raised a fist and she tapped it with her own. Then he launched himself at her with a flurry of punches. Ahsoka slipped out of the way, but her opponent changed direction easily, forcing her to dodge once again. She was surprised at how nimble he was for his size. She continued to avoid his strikes until she saw an opening. Just as Crest reached forward with his front arm, she sidestepped diagonally and brought her leg up to roundhouse kick his chest.

“Point Ahsoka!” Vero called instantly, ending the brief match.

“I’m impressed,” Crest said, patting Ahsoka on the back as he exited the ring.

Vero took his place. He was much more controlled than Crest had been. He waited for Ahsoka to strike first, expertly blocking her first kick and countering with a ridge hand that she barely blocked. His light brown eyes were focused, tracking every movement the Togruta made.

At one point, Vero closed in with a pump sidekick and Ahsoka quickly sidestepped to his back, raising her hands in preparation to block a follow up strike. But he spun smoothly and ducked under her arms. One of his hands landed on her hip, the other on her shoulder, while one of his legs hooked around hers. She was genuinely surprised to find herself being flipped over and thrown to the floor.

Just before she made contact with the mat, Vero slowed their momentum and held her weight, so he could gently place her on the floor.

“Point Vero!” Sadira called, the second Ahsoka’s body touched the mat.

The Togruta was still stunned as Vero took her hand and helped her to her feet.

“Good work, Ahsoka,” he praised.

“Yeah, great job, Ahsoka,” Sadira chimed in, as she took her spot in the ring. “Usually Vero scores much quicker.”

She certainly wasn’t wrong. It took the dojo master less than twenty seconds to catch Sadira with a controlled kick to the side of her head.

Fives replaced Sadira in the ring to face Vero this time and Ahsoka found herself focusing on their match with interest. The two men were of a very similar height and build, though she was pretty sure that even the dojo master wouldn’t be able to beat ARC training.

As the match began, Fives and Vero exchanged several volleys of standing strikes, both of them always managing to block or dodge the other. Finally, she watched as Vero set up the same fake out he’d gotten her with. Only, when he stepped towards Fives, positioning to throw him, the former ARC took a step forward with his outer leg, keeping himself from being thrown off balance, and used the knee of his inner leg to strike Vero’s stomach.

“Point Fives!” Sadira called and Ahsoka noted the somewhat dreamy look in her brown eyes.

“That was excellent,” Vero said, shaking Fives’ hand. “Do you need a job? We could use more instructors here.”

The clone’s eyes widened with surprise. “Thanks for the offer, but I have a job. Also, I’m not sure I’d be the best at teaching younglings.” He rubbed the back of his neck at the end of his statement.

“Well, you’re always welcome here,” Vero said, clapping Fives on the back as he stepped out of the ring.

It was Crest’s turn again and he eagerly faced the man who’d beaten the dojo master. The match didn’t last long, however, as Fives easily locked one of Crest’s arms behind his back.

Ahsoka was pretty sure it was her turn next, but Sadira bounced into the ring ahead of her. She had to fight the urge to roll her eyes when the match took a bit longer. Stop going easy on her, Fives! Finally, he did land a soft kick on her ribcage, winning him the round.

Finally, it was Ahsoka’s turn again. She stopped to speak into Fives’ ear as she passed him. “Don’t you dare go easy on me like that.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Commander,” he said under his breath and she gave him a small shove with her shoulder.

Fives’ face was still set in a half-grin when they touched fists to begin the match. He began with a strike combination. Ahsoka moved to dodge, but his fist suddenly became a grab as he caught her arm. She swiftly twisted away, but he continued with his grappling attacks, disguised as punches. She was so busy dodging, she had yet to be able to launch her own attack. She needed to stop his momentum if she was going to be able to score.

Finally, when Fives fired off another set of hand strikes, she was able to duck underneath his arms, instead of sidestepping. She felt him already adjusting his movement, but she swiftly spun around to hook one leg around his side. She continued turning, catching his waist between her legs in a scissor kick, sending him down onto his back. Remembering Vero’s example, she flicked one of her wrists, activating just enough Force to cushion Fives’ fall, without anyone else noticing.

“Point Ahsoka!” Vero announced.

Ahsoka was on her feet first and held her hand out to help Fives up. He took it and, when he stood, he stepped in to speak against her montral.

“I felt that,” he whispered, and they both knew exactly what he meant.

“Are you going to thank me?” she teased quietly.

“I’m still thinking about it.” He flashed her a smirk as he backed away from her.

“I think that’s it for tonight,” Vero decided. “Good work everyone and welcome, Ahsoka and Fives. I hope you’ll continue to join us in the future.”

“I’m sure we will,” Ahsoka said. Between her successful first day of work, and then bonding with her coworkers and boss through sparring, she suspected she would really enjoy being part of the dojo.

She followed Sadira to their locker room to retrieve her DL-18. The moment they were alone, the blonde woman spoke up.

“Are you sure you and Fives aren’t a couple?” she asked again.

Ahsoka felt an unexpected flash of irritation. “Yes, I’m sure we’re not a couple.” She barely held back a groan. “Why do people here keep asking that? Do they see a male and female living together, just assume that they must be involved like that?”

Sadira just stared at her for a moment, blinking as if the Togruta had said something ridiculous. “Well yeah,” she finally said, like it was obvious.

Now it was Ahsoka’s turn to furrow her brow and fix her coworker with a perplexed look.

“Look, Ahsoka,” Sadira continued when the Togruta didn’t say anything, “I know you’re from off world, but here, on Voria, that’s how things are.”

“What do you mean?”

“A lot of people here were born and raised on this planet, or even in this town. This is a peaceful planet, so we’re free to live however we want. A lot of people focus on having a family. They grow up, find someone to marry, and start a family with them. Then they raise their kids to do the same. That’s what most people do here, so there’s rarely scenario where an adult man and woman would live together, unless they were in a romantic relationship.”

“I guess that makes sense.” Ahsoka wasn’t sure why her stomach was twisting with unease. “So that’s it? Grow up, get married, have kids, the end?”

Sadira chuckled lightly. “Well, it’s not the end. We work and when we’re not working, we just do what we want. That’s the beauty of freedom. We take care of our families and then do things we enjoy. I think that’s a much better life than most other places in the galaxy.”

“That’s definitely true.” I guess.

Objectively, Ahsoka knew that Sadira was right. Freedom like that was something that most people would want. It was literally what they were fighting for in the GAR when they liberated planets from Separatist control. So why did the thought of living like that feel like a pool of unease rippling in her gut?

I should be grateful for the opportunity to have this kind of life. But that uncertainty, now reaching down to the pit of her stomach, was evidence to the contrary.

She’d greatly enjoyed working and training at the dojo today, but making that the general routine for the rest of her life? Even if she somehow managed to find someone and start a family? She wasn’t sure she could ever be happy living like that.

As a Jedi, she’d never been allowed to even think about having a family, so the idea of it now was bizarre, and it didn’t feel like a positive thing. She would have no greater purpose. No way to make a difference anywhere but the small bubble that would become her life on Voria.

They didn’t even have a ship and, from what they’d seen so far, transports off this planet were few and far between, so it wasn’t like she could just up and leave either. Not that she’d ever do that to Fives. Fives. He needed her and this would be a good life for him, even if it wasn’t for her.

Her thoughts were still swirling as she and Sadira exited the locker room, and met the guys in the lobby. Then everyone exchanged polite versions of “goodnight” and they parted ways for the evening, while Vero stayed a moment to lock up the dojo.

As Ahsoka and Fives made their way back to their apartment, she noted the content look on his face that she hadn’t seen since they were back in the GAR. She resolved to shove down her reservations for his sake. He needed a home like this and maybe, eventually, she could learn to think of it as home too.

Chapter Text

Over the next eight weeks, their new routine developed. Ahsoka and Fives would go to their jobs each day, her at the dojo and him at the electronics store. He would come by the dojo after work and they would work out with Ahsoka’s coworkers.

Then they would go home and attempt to make dinner together. It usually didn’t end well. They took turns trying to cook or they worked together, but something always ended up burned, poorly seasoned, or otherwise rendered inedible. Once in a while, they’d manage to make a real meal, but they still resorted to instant meals more often than not.

They worked four days a week and then would spend the fifth day just trying to pass the time. They would practice with their blasters, or occasionally go out with Sadira, Crest, and their friends to a bar or to see a holo. Sometimes, they’d just stay at their apartment, resting or playing dejarik.

After their first standard month in Kaloshan, they’d been able to afford to upgrade to a two bedroom apartment, so Fives was able to have his own room and no longer had to sleep on the couch. Ahsoka had made sure to practice meditation with him daily and, gradually, his nightmares had decreased in frequency.

He never did remember further details of what had occurred on that traumatic night on Coruscant. Or, if he did, he hadn’t told Ahsoka. She supposed maybe it was better that he didn’t remember. He was still recovering from the trauma that he did recall, as well as grieving the loss of Tup. He didn’t need any more anguish in his life.

He was safe now. His hair had grown back, though it wasn’t quite yet as long as it had been during his days in the GAR. He smiled more, and Ahsoka could tell that he truly enjoyed his work programming and repairing devices.

So she never did mention her growing sense of estrangement. She did have pleasant days teaching at the dojo, but that contentment was only ever surface level. At the end of each day, she went home to rest, just so she could wake up and do the same thing again tomorrow. And again the next day.

She felt the pool of frustration rising in her gut with each repetitive day, but it wasn’t much of a concern, at first. It was simply a mild inconvenience that she thought about once in a while. But the pool kept growing, getting heavier, and when she let her guard down, it would try to rise up to her chest and throat.

Objectively, she knew this shouldn’t bother her as much as it did. So she felt a little lost. It was nothing compared to the trauma Fives was still dealing with. The waters of her discontentment were getting harder to control, though, and she knew she needed to do something about it before she did or said something unreasonable. The last thing she needed was her best friend worrying about her over something irrelevant, when he had more important things to focus on.

So, after one of her students approached her after class one day, an idea began to form in her mind of a way in which she might be able to finally form a connection to this town.

Kenth was a regular at the dojo’s adult classes and was actually the highest ranked martial artist, other than the instructors. He had light skin, pale blue eyes, and slicked back, dark brown hair that never seemed to change shape, no matter how much he moved around during training. Ahsoka wasn’t sure what his occupation was, but he always carried himself with an upright confidence, as if someone important might come speak to him at any moment.

“Ahsoka.” After the adult class bowed out, Kenth approached her, shuffling his hands in a nervous way that the Togruta hadn’t seen from him before. “I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me sometime.”

“Oh.” She was so surprised by the suggestion that she didn’t know how to respond at first. Even having been in Kaloshan for a while now, she still hadn’t really considered dating. She had to admit that Kenth was attractive, but she still felt hesitant to jump into a new situation without more thought. 

“Do you mind if I think about it and let you know?” she asked, after a brief moment of thought.

“Of course!” The man seemed to perk up, despite the fact that she hadn’t agreed yet. “Take all the time you need and thank you for class today.”

He placed a warm hand on her shoulder as he passed her and made his way towards the lobby. She found herself watching him until he exited the dojo.

Ahsoka was distracted throughout the last couple classes and the subsequent workout. She managed to train and do her job as normal but, in the pockets of time when she wasn’t active, her mind kept drifting back to her conversation with Kenth.

She was still lost in her thoughts when she and Sadira were in the locker room at the end of the day, preparing to depart for the evening.

“So what happened with Kenth?” Sadira asked. Of course, she’d witnessed the interaction and then Ahsoka’s ensuing distraction.

“He, uh, asked me on a date.” She folded her arms across her body as she spoke.

“That’s wonderful, Ahsoka!” her coworker exclaimed. “What’d you say?”

“I said I needed to think about it.”

“What do you need to think about?” Sadira seemed genuinely curious.

“I’ve just never really dated before,” the Togruta began hesitantly. “I’m not really sure if I should just accept without thinking about it.”

The other woman shook her head and Ahsoka realized she actually looked amused.

“What?”

“Do you find him attractive?” Sadira asked.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“So, just go on the date!” Ahsoka opened her mouth to protest, but her coworker continued. “I’m not saying you have to marry the guy, but part of dating is figuring out what you want for yourself in a partner. Either the date goes well and you spend more time with him, or it doesn’t and you figure out what you don’t want for next time.”

“Next time?”

“Well, there has to be a next time, if you’re going to find the person you want to marry!” Sadira said it like it was the obvious answer.

Because marriage is everyone’s goal on this planet. Ahsoka resisted the urge to sigh. She still couldn’t say that’s what she wanted, but… Maybe I’ll feel more like I belong here if I really connect with someone.

“I’m still going to think about it,” she said after a moment.

“That’s fine, but remember, it’s just one date, you’re not committing to anything.” Sadira opened the locker room door, but paused before walking out. “Oh and don’t keep the poor guy waiting too long for an answer.”

Fives noticed something was off about Ahsoka when he arrived at the dojo to work out that evening. She was behaving mostly like her usual self, but he could tell her thoughts were somewhere other than training.

“Are you okay?” he asked, as they walked home from the dojo together.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said, not looking at him. However, the way she was hugging herself clearly negated her statement.

It was because of her that Fives had recovered significantly over the past several weeks. No matter how many nightmares or panic attacks he had, she stayed beside him. She supported him in every way, whether it be talking to him, using the Force to help soothe his mind, or even just holding his hand and reminding him that she was there.

Ahsoka was an unwavering pillar of security in his life and, the more he healed, the more he was able to focus on her and her well-being. So this wasn’t the first time Fives had noticed something was bothering his best friend. He just wished she would tell him when something was wrong. Whenever he asked, she would insist it was nothing.

“‘Soka, you know you can talk to me if something’s bothering you,” he said, casting her a concerned glance.

“It’s…” she sighed heavily, “it’s a lot of things.” She paused for a moment, then finally said, “One of my students asked me out.”

“Uh, how old was this student?” he asked, preparing to laugh if she said it was a little kid.

“It was an adult student,” she clarified and Fives felt an unexpected sting in his gut.

“What did you say?”

“I told him I’d think about it.” Ahsoka still wasn’t looking his way, so she didn’t see his brow furrowing with apprehension.

“We should be careful about getting too close to other people here,” he advised. He’d almost begun his sentence with “you”, but didn’t want to make it seem like he meant only her.

“What do you mean?” She finally looked at him, raising an eyebrow marking. “You flirt with Sadira all the time,” she pointed out. But I wouldn’t date her.

“That doesn’t mean anything.” One of his hands moved to the back of his neck as he spoke. “I flirt with other women too, but I’m not getting close to any of them.”

Ahsoka rolled her eyes and focused ahead of her again. “Anyway, how are we going to make a life here if we never get close to anyone?”

She had a point, but that didn’t settle the unease in Fives’ stomach. “Just please be careful,” he said, letting the subject drop.

The entire next day at work, Fives couldn’t stop thinking about what Ahsoka had said about considering going on this date. He wasn’t sure why it bothered him so much.

It was true that, aside from Rik and the instructors at the dojo, they hadn’t made much effort to get to know anyone since arriving on Voria. By now, they were fairly sure that Fives was safe from the Republic on this planet, but the more people learned about them, the higher the risk of them discovering something that could put himself or Ahsoka in danger.

What if they find out she’s a Jedi? He still didn’t know why it was so important for her to keep that fact about herself hidden, but he was certain it was necessary, even if the reason remained buried within his lost memory. 

What if Ahsoka started dating someone and they got close enough that she started sharing details of her past life with them? Fives wasn’t sure he could trust anyone enough to let them get to know her that well. It’s not up to me though, he reminded himself.

As his mind wandered farther down this thought trail, it occurred to him that maybe he was being selfish. It had been just Ahsoka and him for weeks now, and he’d gotten to the point where he didn’t want to think about them ever parting ways. But they’d have to eventually, wouldn’t they? If anything, he’d been a burden to her, and she deserved to meet someone or otherwise go live her life, if that’s what she wanted.

Fives caught himself sighing inwardly as he worked on the holoprojector he was repairing. If his friend decided she wanted to go out with this guy, he needed to be supportive, regardless of how he felt about it.

“You know, we’re done for the day.” Rik’s voice almost made Fives jump out of his thoughts.

“Already?” A glance at his chrono confirmed that it was almost thirty standard minutes past when the electronics shop closed.

“Are you alright, son?” the older man asked, coming over to the counter where Fives was working.

“I guess I’m just a little distracted today,” the clone admitted.

He wasn’t going to verbalize his thoughts, but he appreciated his boss’ concern. Over the last several weeks, he and Rik had gotten used to working together. Even though he was Fives’ boss, Rik was always kind and considerate, even to the point of asking his employee how he was on a regular basis. The older man had even made food once in a while for Fives to take home to Ahsoka. In some strange way, Rik was the closest he’d ever had to a father.

“Well, if you want to talk about it, you know where to find me,” his boss said, strolling back across the shop. That was something else Fives appreciated. Rik would offer to help and sometimes ask questions, but he was always respectful when Fives didn’t want to share.

Now that they’d saved up some money, Fives had gotten his own datapad, he and Ahsoka had gotten a holoprojector for their apartment, and they’d both gotten their own comlinks. He sent his friend a comm message as he cleaned up his work station.

“Running late. You guys can start without me.”

He knew her last class would be done by now, so he wasn’t surprised when she responded almost immediately. “Okay, we’ll be here.”

Fives finished putting away his tools and waved to Rik before departing the store. The dojo was a fifteen minute walk and Fives had actually come to enjoy watching the setting Voria sun and feeling the evening breeze on the days when he would walk from his work to Ahsoka’s.

They had learned that the climate on this part of the planet was relatively consistent; warm during the day, with a slight chill at night, but the residents never had to worry about scorching heat or freezing cold. It was yet another thing that made Voria so peculiarly perfect.

The streets of Kaloshan also tended to be quiet in the evenings, so Fives felt comfortable getting lost in his thoughts as he walked. He still made sure to take note of his surroundings, but it was a relief to no longer feel the crushing paranoia that he’d experienced when he was out in public in the days following their escape from Coruscant.

He also had his DL-18 on his right hip and, now that he had the money, he’d picked up a dark blue LL-30 blaster to wear on his left hip. Unlike during his time in the GAR, he’d deliberately chosen a second pistol that was different from the first. The DL-18 had a more powerful bolt, but the scope on the LL-30 would allow him better aim at a distance. They weren’t his DC-17s, but they’d do the job and he did appreciate the different advantages that came with each blaster. Fortunately, he hadn’t had to use them outside of practicing with Ahsoka. Until today.

The dojo had just come into view when the unmistakable sound of blaster-fire rang through the quiet evening air. Fives turned towards the noise instantly and spotted several figures running towards the town hall, a couple blocks down from the dojo.

Blue blaster bolts flashed in front of the building as Fives dashed towards the firefight, instinctively drawing his DL-18 as he ran. He took in the scene as he approached.

He hadn’t met any of the individuals personally, but he recognized the Kaloshan governor, Fortis Tapalo, flanked by two officers wearing distinctive, navy police uniforms. The officers were standing in between Tapalo and three other people, who Fives didn’t recognize, but could easily identify as the governor’s attackers.

One of the officers had turned and was now ushering the governor into the town hall, while the second officer stood between them and their assailants, shouting into a radio that was hooked to her vest.

One of the assailants fired towards the governor, barely missing him as he reached the door of the building. The officer facing the shooter fired back at him, but he dashed into an alley, avoiding her bolts.

Fives was finally close enough to fire at the closest assailant, who he vaguely registered as being a male human with blond, curly hair. The man ducked just in time to avoid the DL-18 bolt and turned to point his own blaster at Fives.

Then reality shifted. Fives blinked as the barrel was directed at him, but when he looked at the shooter again, it wasn’t a blond civilian. It was another clone. One wearing red and white armor. The symbol of the Coruscant Guard flashed in Fives’ vision, driving the breath from his body.

No. It can’t be. We’re not on Coruscant. Or were they? In a fraction of a second, Fives tried to process his surroundings. He was in a warehouse and the Guard was a heartbeat from shooting him. It suddenly struck him. He’d seen this before, in his night terrors. Is this a memory?

He didn’t know. All he knew is that he had to run. He had to escape. But his feet wouldn’t move and when he tried to suck in a breath, nothing entered his lungs.

Blue flashed at the end of the blaster barrel, but Fives was still frozen. It was too late.

Then he was on the ground, but he didn’t remember falling. Had he been shot? Was he dying? He still couldn’t breathe.

He heard a male voice cry out and he saw the other clone stumble as two red bolts seared into his leg, causing him to drop. Fives’ vision shattered when the shooter hit the ground and suddenly he was back on the Kaloshan street.

There were a lot more beings there now and two police officers immediately closed in to arrest the fallen criminal. More bodies swarmed around the town hall entrance, but the blaster-fire seemed to have ceased.

What happened? Fives realized his breath still hadn’t returned. He still didn’t understand what had occurred. He was still on the ground and only now did he realize that something was in front of him, partially obscuring his view of the shooter.

“Fives!”

He flinched at the sound of his name. Why?

Then Ahsoka’s face filled his vision and he realized that it was her who had been shielding him. Now she turned to kneel beside him, her blue eyes shimmering with concern. He barely registered her tucking his LL-30 into her belt. He had no memory of her pulling it off his hip.

“Fives, it’s Ahsoka,” she said and he didn’t flinch this time. “You’re safe now. I need you to breathe, okay?”

She carefully reached out and placed her hand on the side of his head. He hadn’t realized how much his heart was pounding until it began to slow at Ahsoka’s touch. He felt her familiar warmth in his mind and he focused on her steady gaze, as he tried to match his breathing to hers.

“You’re hurt,” his friend said, once his breathing had evened out. Only then did he register the pain in his left shoulder and realized that he must have been shot, though he couldn’t recall when. “We need to get you to the hospital.”

“No!” he blurted out. He didn’t even know why. “I-I can’t. We have bacta at home, right?”

“Fives, you really should-”

“Please, ‘Soka.” He couldn’t identify the reasoning, but the thought of going anywhere in this state, other than their apartment, sent a tremor through his chest.

She studied him for a brief moment, then nodded in understanding. She bent to retrieve his DL-18 from where it lay on the ground, most likely having slipped from his grasp when he fell. Then, taking his right hand in her left, she helped him to his feet.

“Is he hurt?” They looked up to see a woman in an orange paramedic uniform approaching.

“He’s fine.” Ahsoka moved in front of Fives, blocking the medic’s view of his blaster wound.

The woman furrowed her brow skeptically. “I thought I saw-”

“You didn’t see anything.” Fives’ eyes widened at the sudden smoothness of his friend’s voice. She made a circular motion with her right hand as she continued. “You need to go check if anyone is injured elsewhere.”

This time, the medic nodded. “I didn’t see anything. I need to go check if anyone is injured elsewhere.” Then she turned and vanished into the crowd of police, paramedics, and civilians that had formed near the front of the town hall.

“Did you just-” Fives started to ask, but Ahsoka cut him off.

“Come on, let’s get home,” she said, pulling him away from the crime scene.

Ahsoka didn’t let go of Fives’ hand until they were safely inside their apartment, with the door locked behind them.

She quickly went to grab their med kit. Then they sat on the couch facing each other and he removed his shirt, so she could access his blaster wound.

Fives didn’t feel any pain as she cleaned his injury. He felt cold; numb to the physical damage he’d sustained. Shame and horror pulsed through him so strongly that he couldn’t even look at his friend.

He’d really thought he was doing better. His nightmares had become less frequent and when they did occur, they hadn’t been nearly as disabling. And not one standard hour ago, he’d been thinking about how his trauma hadn’t been affecting his daily life as much anymore.

Then, worst of all, whatever mess was going on in his head had put Ahsoka in danger. She’d had to protect him as he was on the ground, immobile and useless. She shouldn’t have had to do that. He was an ARC trooper, regardless of whether or not he still officially carried the title. There was no scenario in which it was acceptable for him to put her in that position.

“Fives, it’s not your fault,” Ahsoka said softly and he finally looked at her. She’d finished putting a bacta patch on his wound and was now blinking at him, her cerulean eyes rippling gently.

He shook his head slightly. “You shouldn’t have had to do all this. Kriff, I thought I was doing better.” He felt the emotions pressing behind his eyes and he blinked them away, but he couldn’t stop his breath from shaking.

“You are doing better,” she said, taking his hand. “But that doesn’t mean you’re completely healed.”

“But still. Nothing like that has happened before. Why now?” He was still fighting to keep his voice steady.

She thought for a moment. “Maybe it had something to do with the situation. You haven’t been involved in a blaster fight since we left Coruscant.”

“Maybe.”

“What happened exactly?” she asked hesitantly.

“I… I don’t know.” He squeezed her hand as he tried to search his mind for some form of clarity and he felt her reciprocate. “It was like I was there, trying to help, but then suddenly I was in a warehouse and the shooter was one of the Coruscant Guard. Then when you shot him, it went away and I was on the ground.”

“Actually, I’m the one who pushed you down,” she admitted, subconsciously clenching her hand and around his. “Sorry. You just weren’t moving and-”

“It’s okay,” he interrupted her. “You probably saved my life. Again. Thank you.” As guilty as he still felt for her having to intervene, he couldn’t ignore the small swell in his chest, knowing that she’d been there for him, yet again. It was an unexpectedly good feeling but, she deserves so much better.

“Always,” she responded quietly, meeting his amber eyes with her blue ones. “I know you’d do the same for me.” In a heartbeat.

They sat there for a few moments, looking at each other and holding hands. It wasn’t the first time they’d done this and it wasn’t the first time that Fives felt like he could look into the oceans of her eyes forever.

“Do you think,” she said, after a while, “it would help if you remembered more?”

“How would I do that?”

“Well…” He wasn’t sure why she hesitated now. “I could use the Force to help you try to find your memories.”

His eyes widened. “You can do that?”

“I guess I’ve never specifically tried, but I should be able to,” she said. “Especially since we’ve meditated together so much.”

“How come you never suggested it before?” He wasn’t upset, but a bit confused as to why she wouldn’t tell him that she might have a way to help him regain his lost memory.

She sighed and her eyes flickered as she spoke. “I didn’t want you to hurt more,” she admitted quietly. “You’ve been doing so much better and I didn’t want to do anything that would cause you more pain. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize.” He reached for her other hand, so both their palms were connected. “You’re right. I don’t know if I could’ve handled more when we first got here,” he said, as much as he hated how true it was.

“Do you want to try now?” she asked.

He took a deep breath and nodded. It was time.

She looked into his eyes again, keeping their hands connected. “Do you trust me?”

“Always.” He’d never trusted anyone more.

They’d meditated together enough now that the transition was smooth. They closed their eyes simultaneously and he opened his mind to allow her entry. He was still shaken, but feeling her familiar presence helped him stabilize his thoughts.

“Think back to that day on Coruscant.” He heard her voice, but he wasn’t sure if she was speaking out loud or through the Force.

Fives let his mind travel back to the Republic capital. It went to the warehouse from his flashback, where he was facing off with the Coruscant Guard.

“Why were you there?” Ahsoka’s words were fainter now.

Why was he there? I had to tell someone something.

“Who?”

He searched his mind. He looked around his memory of the warehouse. The Corries were there, but there was someone else. A clone wearing blue and white armor. Captain Rex.

It wasn’t just him, though. Someone else was there. Not a clone. Who would be with Rex who wasn’t one of his brothers? Someone tall and… dark. General Skywalker. I had to tell Rex and Skywalker something.

He heard Ahsoka suck in a breath, but when she spoke, her voice was even. “What did you have to tell them?”

Something-

A cold pain suddenly pierced through his skull and the memory began to fracture. Just before it could shatter completely, he felt Ahsoka’s warmth encircling him, warding off the deafening chill. He exhaled sharply. He felt safer, but his head still throbbed, especially the right side.

Fives wasn’t sure if it was in real life or in his mind, but he felt his right hand drift to his temple. His fingers immediately found the rough skin of his scar. That’s right, I thought I had surgery. To fix something? To take something out?

The memories returned in a blast of icy wind that froze Fives’ entire being. He could only watch as the events leading up to what happened in the warehouse flashed through his mind.

It was back. All of it. Tup shooting General Tiplar. Fives going with Tup to Kamino. Fives discovering the chip in Tup’s brain and having a droid remove it. Tup dying. Fives fleeing when he realized the Kaminoans planned to wipe his memory. Him removing his own chip and discovering that it was a modification made to every clone, before they were even decanted. Fives trying to tell General Ti. Nala Se drugging him on their way back to Coruscant. Fives being left alone with the Supreme Chancellor and he-

It felt like there were shadows in his lungs and throat. He couldn’t breathe and a haze fell over his thoughts. The Chancellor had tried to erase his memory, but Fives had somehow resisted, only to be accused of attempted murder.

Fives had escaped onto the streets of Coruscant. He’d gone to 79’s and found Kix, and asked him to contact Rex and Skywalker. He’d met the general and captain at the warehouse and, unable to think clearly, Fives had trapped his commanding officers in a ray shield, so they’d listen. But they didn’t believe him.

It was so cold, Fives couldn’t think anymore. His chest was tight and darkness was sweeping through his mind, obscuring his thoughts. He looked around, but now there was nothing. Only the icy shadows that now surrounded him on every side.

Ahsoka! His mind screamed for her, but he couldn’t feel her anymore. He had to find her. He felt himself reaching for her, but he didn’t know where exactly he was reaching to.

Then a flicker of light. Then warmth. Then another blast and his eyes flew open.

He wasn’t sure if Ahsoka pulled him into her arms or if he collapsed into them, but suddenly she was holding him. He clung to her, shaking, though he wasn’t sure if it was from fear or cold.

“How much did you remember?” she whispered into his ear.

“Everything.” His breath hitched and he felt the heat of the tears that were now rolling down his face.

Chapter Text

They didn’t speak for a long time. Ahsoka held him, stroking his short curls comfortingly as he expelled as much of the darkness as he could through his tears.

She was right. Fives had barely escaped his own mind, even after weeks of recovery; there was no way he would have made it out back when they first arrived on Voria. Even now, he was certain that he’d only regained his memories because of Ahsoka and the bond they’d formed over the weeks of practicing meditation together.

Even when his breathing was finally steady again, he sighed heavily and leaned into her a little farther, wishing he could stay in her embrace, instead of facing his horrifying memories.

He felt her tighten her arms around him. She was so warm. Even now, he felt her actively soothing his mind through the Force. He hadn’t put his shirt back on after she treated his wound, so now he noted the heat of her palms as they pressed against his bare back and her lekku brushing against his chest. Normally, it wouldn’t be acceptable to touch a Togruta’s head-tails, but with her holding him against her, he took the opportunity to enjoy the feel of them.

He kept his thoughts focused on Ahsoka for as long as he could, letting them temporarily replace the torrent of his memories that he would soon have to face. Finally, he felt stable enough to sit back and wipe the remainder of his tears off his cheeks.

“Thank you,” he said softly. “I couldn’t have done that without you.”

“It’s what I’m here for,” she answered without hesitation.

“So… did you see everything I saw?” He wasn’t sure just how much of his thoughts she was able to witness through the Force.

“I didn’t get everything, but some.” She carefully reached up to trace the scar on the right side of his head, her eyebrow markings scrunched with concern. “You had a chip in your brain?”

Despite the dark content of their conversation, Fives took a heartbeat to enjoy the feeling of her fingers brushing through his curls again. She’d started doing that occasionally since his hair had grown back and that basic action always soothed him immensely.

“I did.” His voice and chest tightened. “And all of my brothers still do.”

“What does it do exactly? Your memories were flashing so fast, I couldn’t always tell what was happening,” she explained.

“When they’re activated, it makes the clones obey orders without question.” He sucked in a shaky breath. Then he took her hand off the side of his head and held it tightly. “It would even make us kill the jedi.”

Ahsoka’s blue eyes rounded with dread and looking at them made Fives’ heart ache. Now that he remembered the reality of the chips, it occurred to him that his friend leaving with him might have saved her life just as much as his. He resolved to keep it that way. I won’t lose her.

“So that’s why Tup killed Tiplar,” she whispered and Fives gave a tiny nod of confirmation.

“He wasn’t himself. He didn’t even know who or where he was, just that he was supposed to kill Jedi. He never would’ve…” he trailed off, unable to continue.

Ahsoka squeezed his hand, though her expression was still horrified. “I know he never would have done something like that if he were in control.” She paused for a moment. “And then a Sith invaded your mind, but who was it?”

“I… don’t remember.” Kriff, maybe he hadn’t regained every piece of his memory, after all. “I just know they tried to erase my memory and I guess they managed to make me forget their identity. I don’t even know how I escaped that.” He shivered involuntarily.

He took a moment to finally put his shirt back on in an attempt to combat the cold and his friend scooted closer to press her warm body against his side.

“That’s why your thoughts have been so cold and dark,” she said, taking his hand again. “It’s remnants of the Sith presence in your mind. It’s better than before, but it’ll take time to expel completely.” She turned to meet his eyes. “Honestly, it’s incredible that you withstood all of that.”

“Only with your help,” he shrugged.

But she shook her head. “Fives, a Sith that powerful could have killed you or at least erased your memory entirely, but you still remembered enough to tell Rex and Anakin. And you’re remembering now. That’s no small feat and all I did was help you along. Your memories wouldn’t have been there to find if the Sith had succeeded.”

“I guess.” He appreciated what she said, but he couldn’t bring himself to believe that he’d done anything significant. None of it had made a difference, anyway.

“So… what do we do?”

He didn’t know how to answer that. This knowledge could save the lives of countless Jedi and prevent his brothers from losing what little free will they currently had. If someone will listen. If Fives tried to tell someone and no one believed him, he could be right back where he started, with his own brothers trying to arrest and kill him. His chest constricted further at the thought.

He could make everything worse. He didn’t even know who had control of the chips and they had no idea when whoever it was planned to activate them. They didn’t know who they could trust either. If his memory was accurate, the Supreme Chancellor was somehow involved, as were at least some of the Kaminoans, but who else? What if some of the Jedi were involved? He had no clue how deep this conspiracy went. What if Fives tried to speak up again, but the wrong person found out and activated the chips early? Then the risk would have been for nothing.

They could help his brothers remove their chips in secret, as Fives had removed his, but would they believe there were chips in their heads to begin with? Or, even if they did, would they believe that they served such a malicious purpose? He’d have to convince them, without the Chancellor or the Kaminoans catching wind of it.

Or Skywalker. Skywalker hadn’t believed him and Fives wasn’t convinced Rex had either. There was no way he could help the 501^st without them finding out. Then, even if they helped some of his brothers, there would be millions of others who still had their chips.

Fives was also certain that whoever was behind the chips would have him executed at the first opportunity. The idea stole his breath completely and his mind threatened to spiral into panic due to that thought alone. He wanted to go back, to help his brothers, but- Kriff. He had to force himself to breathe as the reality of his mental state pressed heavily onto his chest. He couldn’t go back. It wasn’t that he was afraid, not consciously at least. It was his subconscious mind that wouldn’t allow him to return to the Republic. It would paralyze him; crushing him before the Sith even got the opportunity.

He glanced down at Ahsoka’s hand, where it lay in his, her sienna skin blending with his bronze. What if he put her in danger by trying to help his brothers? He realized now more than ever that they really were safest here, on Voria, and risking returning to Republic territory would jeopardize both their lives, as well as his mental stability.

He used his thumb to trace circles on the back of Ahsoka’s hand as he thought; the small action helped his swirling thoughts to calm a bit. His brothers were already at risk, as was every Jedi in the Order. If he tried to tell someone or help his vode remove their chips, he’d be putting himself in danger and them as well. But if he and Ahsoka stayed hidden, at least he could know she would be safe, even if the chips were activated.

Also, regardless of all of these factors, they didn’t exactly have ample access to transportation or long-range communication devices. They didn’t have their own ship and they’d learned that any transports on Voria, both of sentients and supplies, were few and far between. And they couldn’t contact anyone, if they wanted to. Their cheap comlinks would barely reach across the planet, let alone the galaxy.

It was a horrible situation and regardless of what he decided, Fives knew guilt would plant itself in his mind and eat away at him. He could already feel the remorse spreading painful roots into his thoughts. No matter what he did, he would fail someone he cared about. Again.

He didn’t have much of a choice, though, and he decided he’d rather guarantee the safety of one person than risk jeopardizing the safety of thousands, or more. Especially if that one person was Ahsoka.

“Nothing,” he said finally.

“What?” Her voice pinched in surprise.

“I want to help my brothers and the Jedi more than anything, but if the Sith is behind the chips, then the dark side controls both the Republic and the Separatists.” He forced himself to take a deep breath against the weight on his chest. “If I’m discovered in either territory, they’ll try to kill me again. Even if I evaded them and was able to convince my brothers to let me help them remove their chips, there are literally millions of clones.”

“What if we told someone? We could contact the Jedi Order,” she suggested.

“How would we do that? Would they even believe us? Skywalker didn’t. As soon as I suggested that the Chancellor might know something, he seemed convinced that what I was saying couldn’t be true.”

“Anakin and the Chancellor are close, though,” she pointed out.

“And if the Chancellor or the Sith or whoever else is behind this realizes their plan might be discovered, they’ll just activate the chips, and we’ll lose both the Jedi and the clones.”

“What if I went and tried talking to Anakin in person? I’m not wanted-”

“No,” he cut her off. “If we try to tell someone, and we tell the wrong person or the wrong person finds out, that’s it for everyone. They could activate the chips or come after you directly.”

“I can defend myself-”

“I know you can.” He turned so he was facing her completely. “Ahsoka, please listen. No matter what we do, we’re putting someone more at risk. I hate knowing this and not doing anything, but even if we help a handful of people, thousands more would be put in danger. For all we know, the Jedi could defeat the Sith and end the war, and the chips will never be used. And if we stay here for now, at least we can guarantee that someone is safe.”

“I need to at least tell the Jedi Council,” she insisted.

“Do you trust them to listen and not increase the risk to anyone else?” he challenged.

He saw a shadow fall over her cerulean eyes before her gaze dropped to her lap. “No,” she said sadly. “I don’t.”

This time it was he who pulled her into his arms and her head fell onto his shoulder. 

“I hate this,” he said again, unable to omit the tremor from his voice. “I’ve failed almost everyone that I cared about most and now I’m failing again, no matter what I do… Even if we help some of my brothers, millions of others will still be at risk.”

“Fives, it’s not your fault.” He froze as she lifted hand to cup his jaw and trail her fingers downwards, through his facial hair. “It wasn’t before and it’s not now.”

“Thanks, Ahsoka,” he said quietly, even though he didn’t believe her. He took a shaky breath, trying to thread more confidence into his voice, for her sake. “We’ll keep thinking and if we find a way to help without endangering more people, we’ll do it.”

“I don’t like feeling so helpless,” she whispered.

“I don’t either.” He squeezed her a little tighter. “But I feel a little better knowing you’re safe.”

“You too.” She’d turned her head, so her voice vibrated against his neck when she spoke, sending an unexpected, but pleasant tingle down his spine.

The next few days were rough.

Fives’ night terrors had returned with a strength they hadn’t had since he and Ahsoka had first arrived on Voria. Thankfully, she had helped him practice meditation enough times now that he was mostly able to calm himself and return to sleep without her assistance.

There was only one night where his nightmares were so bad that they woke her. Now that he had his own room, she didn’t want to barge in uninvited, but when his terrors failed to wane after several minutes, she had decided it was necessary this one time.

When she knocked on his door, she received no answer. After another moment of hesitation and listening to his tortured voice, she decided that her desire to rescue him from his nightmare outweighed her guilt at invading his privacy. She opened the door and hurried to the side of his bed, where she was able to lean over and place her hand on the side of his head.

He finally woke and instantly apologized, as he always did when his trauma disrupted her in any way. She hated that he felt like he was burdening her, but she knew he was too considerate to be convinced otherwise. She’d still tried to reassure him that he had nothing to feel sorry for. Then she sat next to him on his bed and gently stroked his curls until he fell back asleep.

As Fives’ hair had grown back, she’d started running her fingers through it once in a while to comfort him. It seemed to soothe him greatly and, for some reason, Ahsoka always felt calmer as well. She hoped he’d let it continue to grow. It had also crossed her mind that her best friend seemed to look more handsome the longer his hair got.

In addition to his increased nightmares, Fives had seemed much more tense and anxious during those following days, and Ahsoka hadn’t been much better herself. She could still barely process the concept of chips that would force clones to kill Jedi and knowing that she couldn’t do anything made everything so much worse.

She was still aching to at least try to find a way to contact Anakin and warn him. He was the only one who’d always supported her and looked out for her, so shouldn’t she do the same for him? But Fives had already tried to tell him and her former master had refused to believe anything bad about the Chancellor. If he thought Palpatine was involved with this plot against the Jedi, he might be hesitant to believe the conspiracy existed at all. Even more so if he didn’t consider Fives a credible source.

It was the kind of person Anakin was. He’d defend his friends, even to the point of fault. It was something Ahsoka had always admired about him, but now she feared what sort of danger it would put him in. And was he even at risk right now? What if she told him what she knew and he informed the Chancellor, as a friend, only for it to backfire and turn him into a target for the Sith?

There was no way she could do anything without taking the chance that it might lead to far more deaths than if she’d done nothing. Fives was right. For every Jedi or clone they managed to protect, millions more would still be jeopardized, than if they hadn’t revealed their knowledge of the chips at all. 

At least here, on their neutral, Outer Rim planet, they could secure each other’s safety. Keeping Fives safe had been her goal since she left Coruscant and there was no reason solid enough to alter that objective now.

Though none of this helped with the pool of frustration that was still simmering in her gut at the thought of accepting the domestic life she had been living for the past several weeks. She knew why she had to stay here, on Voria, but the idea that it might be forever still flooded her with dread. 

But if they weren’t going to leave–and she wasn’t even sure how they could without reliable transportation–she knew she had to try to find some sort of contentment here. This could be her future and there was no point in putting off her own happiness, if it was there to obtain. Assuming joy or contentment were even possible with the horrors of the inhibitor chips weighing on her mind.

A few days after the assassination attempt on the governor, the majority of the town had settled back into their usual routines, aside from the police force, as they continued their investigation. Once the public was more at ease again and, more significantly, once Fives had recovered a bit from the incident that had reactivated his trauma and they had both processed the news of the chips as much as they could, did Ahsoka begin thinking more seriously again about trying to make peace with her domestic life. Only then, did she realize that she’d never responded to Kenth’s date proposal.

She still wasn’t certain how much she liked him, but her earlier thoughts had returned about potentially using this opportunity to find a connection to this town. She hated the idea of being so useless and not having more purpose in her life, but the people of Kaloshan seemed perfectly content in their domestic lives with their spouses and children. She doubted she’d ever get to that point, as long as the war continued to rage and the Sith remained at large. But with nowhere else to go, maybe she just needed the right push to focus herself on that sort of goal, at least a little.

She’d seen Kenth a couple times since he’d asked her out and, each time, he’d been friendly and hadn’t pressed for a response from her. After a week, she decided that she shouldn’t keep him waiting any longer.

It had been one of the more difficult days at work. Most of the students were generally cooperative and enthusiastic, but lately, one of the young girls had begun acting out. Her name was Tiiona and Ahsoka had always known her to be a good student, but her attitude lately had soured to the point that none of the instructors could get through a class with her, without some sort of outburst. They had tried different methods of working with her, but she had yet to respond positively to any of their attempts.

Ahsoka had worked with Tiiona that day, but had made no progress. There had also been a handful of other challenging students, as there tended to be once in a while, so she was abnormally drained by the time the adult class had concluded that evening.

“Tiring day?” Kenth asked. He had walked up to speak with the Togruta after she’d bowed out their class.

“Just a bit,” she admitted.

“Was it that student again?”

Of course. It was a small town and an even smaller dojo, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that everyone was well informed as to what occurred within these walls.

“It was,” she said, confirming what he clearly already knew. “But we do have challenging students every day and I don’t mind being tired if it means I can help someone who needs it.”

“I like that about you.” Kenth flashed her a smile that sent an unexpected heat to her lekku.

“Uh, thanks,” she stammered, caught off guard by this compliment. She recovered quickly and decided that now was as good a time as any to address his date proposal. “So about what you asked the other day… Yes, I’ll go out with you.”

His grin broadened and if he noticed her awkwardness, he didn’t show it. “That’s great! How about tomorrow?”

“Okay, sure,” she agreed. “Where?”

“There’s this place down the street. We can have dinner and they have dancing there. Being a martial artist, I’m sure you have some good dance moves too.” He winked at her, causing her stomach to do a small flip.

“I guess that sounds fine.” She had never actually danced before, but she didn’t want to reject his idea.

“I can come pick you up from your place, if you want,” he offered.

“Oh.” That caught her off guard too. I really have no idea what I’m doing, do I? “Why don’t we meet here? You said the place is down the street, right?” She wasn’t sure what proper dating protocol was, but she decided she didn’t know this guy well enough yet to tell him where she lived.

“Sounds like a plan.” Kenth put his hand on her shoulder for a moment, the same way he had the other day. “I’ll see you tomorrow. 2000 hours?”

“Sure.”

The instant Kenth was out of earshot, Sadira rushed over to Ahsoka. Of course she saw us talking. The open training room didn’t hide much.

“What happened?” her coworker asked, her voice high with excitement. “Are you going out with him?”

“Yes. Tomorrow night,” the Togruta answered, feeling herself flushing again.

“Where’s he taking you?”

“Dinner and dancing, I guess.”

“What’re you going to wear?”

Ahsoka shrugged. “I don’t know. A tunic and leggings?”

“Oh, Ahsoka, no,” Sadira gasped, like the Togruta had said something appalling. “You can’t wear that on a date. Come on, we’re going shopping.”

Before Ahsoka could respond, her coworker was grabbing her arm and pulling her towards the locker room.

“What? Now? What about the instructors’ workout?” the Togruta protested.

“We work out every day,” Sadira pointed out, with a small eye roll. “Don’t worry, we’ll make sure you still look really hot, even if you skip a day of training.”

“I- What? That’s not-”

“Come on, before the stores close!” her coworker insisted.

“Alright, alright.” Deciding there was no point in arguing, Ahsoka retrieved her belongings from her locker and followed Sadira out to the lobby.

Vero and Crest were stretching on the mats as the women passed, and Fives was in the lobby, having just arrived.

“Where are you guys going?” Crest called out.

“Ahsoka needs to go shopping!” his sister responded, without even glancing at him. “You boys will be fine without us for a night.”

Fives caught Ahsoka’s forearm as she passed him and gave her a questioning look. Usually the only time they were apart was during work, so she wasn’t surprised at his concern.

“I’ll tell you about it at home,” she said, squeezing his arm reassuringly.

“Okay, be careful,” he said quietly. 

Then he released her and Sadira pulled her the rest of the way out the door.

Chapter Text

Fives was attempting to cook dinner when Ahsoka returned to the apartment. She had a couple shopping bags that she quickly deposited in her bedroom before joining him in the kitchen.

“What’re you making?” she asked, peering at the cookbook that he had open on the counter.

“Something with noodles… I think,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. He had the pasta, along with a variety of other ingredients, simmering in a pot on the stove.

“You think?” Her hand covered her mouth as a laugh tried to escape. “Do I want to eat this if you don’t even know what it is?”

“How bad can it be?” He used a pronged utensil to scoop out some of the noodles and held it out to her.

“No, no.” She quickly backed away. “You try it first.”

“Don’t you have any faith in me?” he protested jokingly.

“When it comes to cooking? No, not really.”

Fives huffed, feigning offense. “Fine, I’ll try it.”

He twirled some of the noodles on the utensil and dropped them into his mouth. They were a bit rubbery and the seasoning he’d added was a tad strong, but it was definitely one of the better things he’d managed to cook thus far.

“See?” he said, swallowing. “It’s not poison. Your turn.”

“Not human poison, but what about Togruta?” Despite her skeptical words, she held her hand out and he placed the utensil in her palm. She twirled the pasta more gracefully than he had done and scooped some of the noodles into her own mouth. “Okay, you’re right. I’m not dead.”

“Oh, what a nice compliment,” Fives laughed. “You’re as difficult to impress as ever.”

“If you want to impress me, I don’t recommend trying to do so with your cooking skills,” she teased.

“Yeah, because yours are so much better.” He rolled his eyes as he divided the food onto two plates and handed one to her.

They sat together on the couch to eat. Fives watched Ahsoka’s face as she took her first bite off her plate, waiting to see how she reacted.

Instead of commenting on the food, she mumbled, “Are you just going to watch me eat?”

“Well, you still haven’t told me how it is!” he protested. “Other than clarifying that it didn’t kill you.”

She stared at him defiantly for a moment, but then her expression softened. “It’s not bad,” she said, bumping his shoulder with hers. “Thanks for making it.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, finally taking a bite of his own meal. “So, what were you and Sadira doing?”

She ate a few more mouthfuls of her noodles before answering. “Remember that guy that asked me out the other day? We’re going on a date tomorrow and Sadira wanted to help me find something to wear.”

“Oh.” Fives was glad she wasn’t looking at him, so she didn’t see the unsettled expression that crossed his face.

“What?” She raised an eyebrow marking at him. She must have heard his discontent in his tone or felt it through the Force.

“Nothing,” he said quickly. “If that’s what you want to do, then good for you.”

He wasn’t sure why the thought of Ahsoka going out with someone bothered him so much. I’m just being overprotective again, he reasoned. They’d been through so much recently, how could he not be? Though he wasn’t sure that explained the churning feeling in his stomach. Maybe that’s from the food.

While they ate in silence for the next few minutes, Fives noticed that his friend seemed more fidgety than usual. Neither of them had said anything else, but she kept shifting in her seat and readjusting her lekku.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, after a moment. A small part of him hoped that she’d say something about not wanting to go on the date.

“Sorry, just thinking… We’re going dancing tomorrow and I don’t know how to dance.”

Fives shrugged, trying to seem unconcerned. “You don’t need to know how. The man is supposed to lead, anyway.”

“I guess, but it’d be nice to have at least some clue as to what I’m doing,” she pointed out.

She finished her food and collected their dishes. Then she came back and slumped beside him on the couch.

Fives took a breath. He didn’t want to encourage her dating this guy, but he didn’t like seeing her so unsure of herself.

“Do you want me to show you?” he asked.

She shot up into a sitting position. “Wait, you know how to dance?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged again.

“Okay!” she agreed eagerly. “If you don’t mind.”

“Why would I offer if I minded?” He flashed her a half-grin as he reached for his datapad.

He scrolled through the device until he found a suitable playlist. He figured, wherever this guy was taking her, they wouldn’t be doing anything too fancy. He selected an upbeat song and stood up from the couch.

“These dance clubs usually have line dancing, swing dancing, and slow dancing,” he explained. “For line dancing, you just watch the people around you and copy them. Usually there’s a set dance to whatever song is playing. Slow dancing is easy. You’re really just standing super close and swaying.” Actually, practicing that with Ahsoka didn’t sound so bad, but it also sent an odd fluttery feeling through his chest. We should probably just avoid that. “So the only thing you might need to know ahead of time is swing dancing,” he concluded.

He turned to offer her his hand. She took it, and he pulled her up off the couch and to the center of their small living room.

“I’m going to put my other hand on your hip and you put yours on my shoulder,” he instructed. He wasn’t sure why he waited for her to nod before he placed his hand on her waist. They had physical contact pretty regularly, but something about this felt different.

“Now what?” she asked, looking up at him.

“Well, like I said, the guy leads, so practice following my footsteps,” he said. “We basically just move around in time to the music.”

“Doesn’t sound too difficult.”

But then she bumped into him on each of the first three steps. He couldn’t help but grin with amusement. A few seconds later, she stumbled, causing herself to trip over his feet. He caught her easily with the arm that was on her waist and pulled her back to him.

“Wow, you’re really uncoordinated for a Jedi,” he laughed.

“Shut up, I’ve never done this before!” she huffed. “Your feet were in the way.”

“I’m pretty sure my feet know what they’re doing,” he pointed out. “I’m not so sure about yours.” She grumbled, but couldn’t hide the smile on her face.

They practiced stepping in sync for a bit, until Ahsoka seemed to be able to match his footwork without tripping.

“Okay, let’s add a spin,” he suggested.

“That’s where I go under your arm, right?”

“Yes.” He raised the hand that was holding hers, so she could twirl underneath. “Wrong way,” he said, as she started to spin.

“Wait, I have to turn a certain way?” She stopped to look at him again.

“Yes and it’s not that way.”

“But I like that way,” she argued. “Why does it matter?”

“Because it’s smoother if you go the correct way.”

“Okay, fine.” She tried the spin again.

“That’s still the wrong way,” he chuckled.

“Ugh,” she groaned, as she reversed direction.

“Okay, let’s try spinning with two hands now,” he said, once she’d gotten the hang of twirling under one arm. She cocked her head. “I hold both your hands now.” He took her hand off his shoulder. “Then we raise both of our arms and you spin towards me.”

She twirled towards him obediently, but spun too far, until she was half facing him, tangled in their arms. She twisted her head to give him a bewildered look.

“You weren’t supposed to turn that far,” he said.

“Well, you didn’t say that!” She scrunched her nose as she started to reverse her spin.

“Let’s reset and try again.”

“Are you going to tell me when I’m supposed to stop?”

“Stop when your back is facing me and then you reverse direction,” he said.

“You could’ve said that earlier,” she complained.

She spun towards him again. When her back was to him and it seemed like she was going to keep going, he pulled her against him.

“Stop there,” he said, his face now by her montral.

“Thanks.” She turned to look at him again and he sucked in a breath when her nose brushed his. Their gazes locked and they both froze.

“Now turn back the other way,” he said, when they’d been staring into each other’s eyes for far too long.

“Right.” She jerked as if he’d broken her out of a trance. She quickly spun back out, so they were an arm’s length apart again.

They continued practicing the twirls until Ahsoka was able to do them almost flawlessly. Though, it seemed like now both of them were making more of an effort not to stay in one spot too long. After a while, they returned to the position in which he had his hand on her hip and she had hers on his shoulder.

“So,” she began, as they moved smoothly across the floor, “how come you know how to dance so well?”

He shrugged casually. “I had to give the ladies something to like, other than my handsome face.”

“Oh, how humble of you,” she said, smirking. “So that’s how you scored so many women at 79’s?”

Fives resisted the surprise that tried to cross his face. Of course it made sense that she knew about his previous dating habits, but it wasn’t something they’d ever discussed aloud.

He let his lips form a half-grin. “Of course. That and other ways.” She raised an eyebrow marking at him. “Hey, I couldn’t be using the same strategies over and over,” he explained.

“You’ll have to tell me about these other strategies sometime,” she said.

“I’ll consider it,” he said cryptically and she just shook her head with amusement.

It wasn’t until they finally halted their steps that Fives glanced at his chrono and realized they’d been dancing together for over a standard hour. Then he realized that they were just standing there, her hands on his shoulders and his on her waist. For some reason, he wasn’t ready to break contact yet.

“Did that help?” he asked.

“I guess I’ll find out tomorrow, but I think so,” she said.

Oh, right. Her words struck him harder than he would’ve expected. This is all for her date… with someone else.

“Thanks, Fives.” The next thing he knew, she had stepped forward to hug him. The sweet scent that always accompanied her filled his nostrils as he wrapped his arms the rest of the way around her.

“Anytime,” he said quietly.

At work the following day, Fives couldn’t stop thinking about Ahsoka. It wasn’t that he didn’t already think about her a lot, since she was his best friend and roommate, but now he couldn’t seem to keep her out of his head, even when he tried.

He kept replaying their dance lesson in his mind, especially the part when he’d pulled her in and she’d turned, brushing their noses against each other. He could still feel her breath on his cheek and, even after taking a sonic this morning, he was certain he could still smell her. The memories of those sensations sent tingles down his arms to his fingertips each time they repeated in his head.

Kriff, this is a problem. He shook himself when he realized that he’d been staring at the droid he was working for several minutes. He quickly resumed his repairs, hoping Rik hadn’t noticed. He knew his boss genuinely cared, but he didn’t want to face any questions right now.

Fortunately, the older man wasn’t nearby, a fact that was confirmed when the front door of the shop chimed and Rik emerged from the back room to answer.

“Chief!” Rik exclaimed brightly.

Fives leaned over his desk to peek around the line of shelves between his workstation and the door to see who his boss was speaking with. She had tan skin and black hair that was pulled back into a bun behind her head. She wore a dark suit and, while her expression was friendly, her demeanor exuded professionalism.

“Hi, Rik,” she greeted. “It’s good to see you.”

“What can I do for you? Are you here on duty?”

“I am.” The woman’s voice suddenly lowered, though Fives was still able to hear what she was saying. “After the assassination attempt last week, we were able to arrest one of the shooters involved. He’d been shot in the leg and hadn’t been able to escape with his crew.”

That must have been the person that Ahsoka shot, Fives realized. This must be the police chief.

He was fairly certain now that the chief hadn’t noticed his presence. She and Rik were still near the shop entrance, with no direct line of sight to Fives’ workstation at the back of the store. He decided to stay in his corner and continue working as they spoke.

“Yes, yes, I heard about that,” Rik said.

“When we searched him, we found a comlink, which we suspect was his means of communication with the rest of his accomplices,” the chief explained. “We want to monitor its frequency, so hopefully we can get more information on the other criminals or even figure out when they might strike next.”

“You think they’ll strike again?”

“Without a doubt. We don’t know if they’re acting independently or if someone paid them off, but regardless, the governor was their target and they failed to assassinate him. The only issue is that this comlink is heavily encrypted. Everyone we have on staff at the station has tried to slice into it, but no one has made any progress and we don’t know how much time we have. Do you think you could give it a shot?”

Rik was quiet for a moment. “Sure, I can take a look,” he said finally. “I can’t promise anything, though.”

“I appreciate it,” the chief said. “Will a couple days be enough time?”

“Of course,” the shop owner agreed. “If I’m able to figure it out, it shouldn’t take longer than that.”

“Thank you, Rik.” The woman sounded relieved. “The sooner we catch these criminals, the safer everyone in Kaloshan will be.”

Fives heard the door chime again as the police chief left. Then he heard Rik’s footsteps as he walked over to where he was working. Fives already had a feeling of what his boss was about to say and he felt his chest tighten as memories of his flashback tried to push to the front of his mind.

“I don’t want to be involved,” he said, before Rik could speak.

The older man set the comlink down on the desk. “Fives, I can’t do what they’re asking, but I know you can,” he said.

Fives knew he could too, but he wasn’t sure it was the best idea to get involved in the same criminal case that had aggravated his trauma. He wouldn’t inform Rik of that, but he had a feeling that his boss had already guessed some of those details. He already knew Fives was a clone and he seemed to be able to pick up on things in general.

“I’m just not sure it’s the best idea,” Fives tried again.

“Listen, son.” Rik hefted himself up to sit on an empty spot on Fives’ desk. “I won’t make you do anything you’re not ready for. But I will say that, even though there’s no war here, we’re not always safe. You’re the best programmer I’ve ever met.” You should’ve met Echo. “And I know that you can use those skills to help protect the people here, if that’s what you want.”

Fives was still sometimes surprised at how well Rik had gotten to know him. As much as his lingering anxiety told him to hesitate, Fives knew he couldn’t let the people of this community remain at risk if he was able to do something about it. He hated that he couldn’t help his brothers with his knowledge of the inhibitor chips, but maybe he could still help someone. He wouldn’t be involved in any fighting anyway, though frankly that’s where he would rather be.

“Okay, I’ll see what I can do,” he finally said, reaching for the comlink.

“Here, I’ll finish that droid for you, while you work on this,” Rik offered.

Fives handed him the droid. “Thanks, Rik,” he said. He appreciated his boss’ faith in him.

“No problem, son.” Rik patted him on the shoulder and retreated to the main counter.

Fives had decrypted much more difficult codes on ARC missions, but it still took some time. He hadn’t realized how long he’d been working until his comlink beeped with a message from Ahsoka.

“You okay?”

Only then did he look at his chrono and realize that it was almost thirty standard minutes past when his work shift ended. He’d been so focused, he hadn’t even registered Rik closing the shop.

“Sorry. Working on something. Had to stay late,” he messaged back and returned to his work.

About an hour later, he heard the door chime and Rik emerging from the break room again. Fives had never stayed this late before and briefly wondered how long his boss was usually here in the evenings.

“Hello, Ahsoka,” he heard Rik say. “Were you looking for Fives?”

“Yes. He said he was staying late,” said Ahsoka’s voice.

Fives heard their footsteps as his roommate and boss walked over to his workstation.

“I didn’t want to interrupt, but you know you didn’t have to stay late,” Rik said.

“Well, it’s a good thing I did because it sounds like you didn’t lock the door after closing again,” Fives chided jokingly. He glanced past Rik, meeting Ahsoka’s eyes, and couldn’t help but smile.

“Oh!” The older man exclaimed and hurried back across the shop to lock the door, while the clone and Togruta shook their heads with amusement.

“Anyway, I’m almost done,” Fives said to Ahsoka. “You didn’t have to come find me.”

She shrugged and turned to lean back against his desk. “You would do the same for me.”

“Yes, but I go to your work almost every day anyway,” he pointed out.

“You know what I mean!” She swatted his shoulder playfully. “So what’re you working on?”

“Remember the shootout last week?”

“Yeah?”

“The police found an encrypted comlink on the guy that they arrested. The guy you shot.” He hadn’t realized that he’d tensed until she laid her hand on his shoulder. “Anyway, I guess they’ve been trying to slice into it all week and haven’t had any luck, so the chief asked Rik if he could help and he gave it to me.”

“And you said you’re almost done when they couldn’t make any progress in a week?” He nodded. “That’s amazing, Fives! Did you learn that in ARC training too?” She lowered her voice at the last part, even though they knew Rik was aware of the clone’s identity.

“Yeah, all ARCs are trained in slicing. It was really more Echo’s thing than mine…” He trailed off at the thought of his twin.

Ahsoka squeezed his shoulder. “He’d be proud of you,” she said quietly. He reached up to hold her hand for a moment, flashing her a grateful look.

It only took him another twenty standard minutes to finish decrypting the comlink.

“I knew you could do it, but that was quick,” Rik said when Fives set the device on his boss’ desk. “I’ll contact the chief first thing in the morning to let her know the good news.”

“Speaking of which,” Fives rubbed the back of his neck, “is she going to mind that you let someone else handle this evidence?”

The older man just shrugged. “If she is, I’ll take the blame, but I’m sure she won’t mind with how efficient you were.”

Fives hoped that was the case. Even though he and Ahsoka had been on Voria for a while now, he didn’t want to draw unnecessary attention to either of them. It was just safer that way.

“Anyway, do you kids want to stop by my place?” Rik offered, as they were preparing to exit the shop. “I can make you some dinner.”

“That’s so nice of you, Rik,” Ahsoka said, “but I can’t tonight. I actually have a date.”

For some reason, Rik’s brown gaze immediately shifted to Fives, who hastily looked away. Did his boss realize how he felt about his friend’s date? Of course he does. Even though he wasn’t a Jedi, the man somehow saw everything.

“Not a problem,” Rik said to Ahsoka. “Have a good time.”

“Thank you!” she responded, turning to walk out of the shop.

As Fives moved to follow her, his boss glanced at him again and raised an eyebrow. The clone furrowed his own brow. What? Rik’s expression shifted into one of skepticism and his eyes darted in Ahsoka’s direction. Fives just huffed silently. It’s not like I can do anything about it.

This time his boss just waved a hand towards the door, gesturing for Fives to follow Ahsoka, which he did quickly. He was glad to not have to talk about the situation, but he had a feeling that Rik would bring it up again when they were alone next.

As soon as they returned to their apartment, Ahsoka retreated to her bedroom to get ready for her date. Fives heated up an instant meal for himself and settled on the couch with his datapad. He’d asked her if she wanted anything to eat while they were walking back, but she’d reminded him that she’d be getting dinner with her date.

There was an uneasy sensation in his stomach as he ate and he tried to convince himself it was from the food, but he knew it wasn’t. The apprehensive feeling had actually begun when he and Ahsoka had left Rik’s shop, so she could get home to prepare for her date, and had only grown since.

I’m just being overprotective, he told himself again, even though deep down he knew he had no right to be. Ahsoka was more than capable of handling herself and she was free to spend time with whoever she wanted. But the thought of another man dancing with her and holding her kept passing through his mind now, making him feel sick.

He only made it halfway through his meal before he concluded that his stomach was too unsettled to eat any more. He returned to the kitchen, tossed out the remainder of his dinner, and began brewing a pot of caf instead.

He was pouring himself a cup of caf, when Ahsoka’s door opened and she stepped out. The pot almost slipped from Fives’ hand.

She was wearing a knee-length reddish purple dress, with a v-shaped neckline that reached almost to the bottom of her sternum, revealing a substantial amount of sienna skin. The fabric outlined the curve of her hips and, between that and her exposed chest, Fives had to quickly force his eyes up to her face.

Then there was the strange fluttering in his chest that almost immediately morphed into a throbbing sensation.

“Why are you making caf at night?” she asked, saving him from his confounding thoughts.

“Didn’t we always have caf at odd hours in the GAR?” He was pleased with how steady his voice came out.

“Yes, but we haven’t been doing that here.” She walked over to him, raising an eyebrow marking.

“What time do you think you’ll be back?” 

Her brow scrunched when he didn’t answer her question. “I don’t know. Definitely before midnight.”

“I’m going to wait up for you,” he said casually, taking a sip of his caf.

“What?” She seemed genuinely surprised. “You don’t have to do that.”

Fives shrugged. “Okay. I’m still going to.”

Ahsoka opened her mouth, looking like she was going to object again, then seemed to change her mind. She stepped forward and placed a hand on his forearm. The throbbing in his chest intensified and, for the first time ever, he wished she hadn’t touched him.

“Thanks, Fives,” she said, squeezing his arm. Then she let go and walked over to the front door to put her boots on.

“Ahsoka?”

“Yes?” She turned to look at him again, just as she’d opened the apartment door.

“You look great.” That was a massive understatement. She was beautiful, sexy, captivating, and so many other adjectives that were running through Fives’ mind right now. But it wasn’t his place to say any of them. “I hope everything goes well.”

“Thanks,” she said again. She flashed him a gorgeous smile as she stepped out of the apartment and closed the door behind her.

Now alone, Fives sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. He took his cup of caf and settled back on the couch with his datapad, determined to distract himself from his apprehension about his roommate’s date.

He really did hope everything went well for her. As much as he didn’t like her going out with someone else, all that mattered in the end was that she was happy. After all the trouble he’d put her through, it was the least she deserved.

Chapter Text

Kenth was already waiting outside the dojo when Ahsoka arrived. He wore a pale blue collared shirt that matched his eyes and sleek, black pants. A smile broke out on his face when he spotted her.

“Wow, Ahsoka, you look breathtaking,” he said, making no effort to hide the fact that he was scanning her body from head to toe.

“Thanks,” she responded, feeling her lekku warm. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

“Why, thank you. Now,” he lifted his elbow towards her, “shall we?”

She paused for a brief moment, before realizing she was meant to put her hand on the crook of his arm. She’d seen couples walk together that way plenty of times, but she’d never done so herself. She took his elbow and let him lead her towards their destination.

The establishment was a mix of a dance club and a restaurant. Dinner tables were spread across most of the floor with waiters weaving between them to serve their guests. Then on the far side of the building, opposite the door, there was a wide dance floor with a small stage, where a band of musicians were playing a lively tune. It felt like the place had two distinct purposes, each with their own atmosphere: casual, relaxing dining and upbeat, vibrant dancing.

A dark-haired woman met Ahsoka and Kenth at the entrance, and escorted them to one of the dining tables. A waiter passed by a short time later to take their drink orders.

“What do you think so far?” Kenth asked. He sat with unusually straight posture, but still managed to portray a casual demeanor.

“Of what? This place?”

“This place, the date so far, me, whichever you like,” he answered fluidly. Kenth had always been polite and pleasant at the dojo, but Ahsoka hadn’t seen this confident, smooth side of him before. She wasn’t sure whether she found it attractive or not.

“I guess everything is good so far,” she answered. “To be honest, this is my first time on a date, so I wasn’t quite sure what to expect.” She wasn’t sure if she should have admitted that, but she supposed some honesty was needed if she was going to form a connection with this man.

“I never would have known,” her date said, his eyes widening slightly. “You don’t seem nervous or anything.”

“I guess I didn’t really see the sense in being nervous.” 

It was true that she hadn’t felt any nerves regarding the date itself, but anxiety still rippled in her gut. She just needed something to come out of this date; anything to reassure her that she could eventually feel like she belonged on this planet. Perhaps that was an unrealistic expectation, but even if she and Kenth didn’t work out as a couple, she still clung to the hope that she’d return home with more clarity.

They put in their food orders when the waiter returned and continued to chat throughout their dinner. Ahsoka learned that her date was a manager for some sort of textile company, though she had a difficult time retaining the details when he explained them to her. He was from off world, like her, and they silently agreed not to discuss their lives prior to moving to Kaloshan. That seemed to be the cultural expectation in this town, which she was always thankful for.

At one point, Kenth did ask about Fives, who he already knew was her roommate. The citizens of Kaloshan might not badger each other about their pasts, but present information spread swiftly.

“He’s a friend from off world,” she said simply. That had become her routine response when people asked about her roommate situation.

“That’s good to have,” her date commented. “Though, I’m sure you’ve heard by now that men and women don’t usually live together in this town, unless they’re romantically involved. So it might be a bit off putting to someone you’re dating.”

Is he saying that he doesn’t like that Fives is my roommate? She supposed that made sense. If Kenth liked her, then he may be jealous that she spent so much time with another man.

“Well, are you put off by it?” she asked.

“If you say there’s nothing going on with him, then I’m not concerned,” he answered with a shrug.

Ahsoka got an inkling from the Force that he wasn’t being completely honest. She’d been having trouble reading his emotions; he’d been keeping them very level, up until now. This was the first time he subconsciously emitted enough internal emotion for her to detect.

Now that she thought about it, she hadn’t actually said that there wasn’t anything going on between her and Fives. Not that there is. So why did she hesitate to clarify that? 

“I’m glad you’re not concerned,” she ended up saying.

They talked more as they finished their food. As much as Ahsoka tried to find Kenth interesting, none of his stories held her attention and she found her mind constantly drifting.

She was relieved when the waiter finally cleared their table, and Kenth rose from his seat and extended his hand to her.

“Would you like to dance?” he asked, his voice low and smooth.

“Of course,” she said, taking his hand. Their conversation hadn’t been the most productive, at least not for her. She hoped that dancing together would help them forge more of a connection.

Her date led her out onto the dance floor, just as an energetic song was beginning. The other dancers had formed lines and were all performing the same movements in time with the music. This must be the line dancing that Fives mentioned. Her best friend had been right too; the steps weren’t too hard to pick up, especially with a crowd of people to follow along with.

They danced to a few songs, all of which had choreographed line dances. Ahsoka noted that Kenth kept up easily with every movement, regardless of the song. They weren’t exactly dancing together, so much as side by side, but she felt him glancing at her every so often.

Then the music shifted into swing dancing and suddenly Ahsoka was incredibly grateful that she’d been able to practice with Fives. Despite the practice she’d done though, the dance moves didn’t feel as familiar as she would have hoped. 

She was in the same position with Kenth as she had been with Fives; him holding her hand and waist, while she rested her other hand on his shoulder. They were performing almost the same steps she’d practiced and she was able to keep up without stumbling too much. But something was different.

It wasn’t something she would have been able to articulate. Kenth clearly knew how to lead and when he put his hand on her hip or pulled her into him, his grip was firm and confident. But something about the way his hands guided her felt… controlling. She didn’t even know if that was the right word.

Each time her date spun her towards him and held her against him, it was just that. He seemed to be trying to make sure she performed each move the way he wanted her to and she realized that she didn’t feel any particular way about being physically close to him. Not like she had with Fives.

Dancing with her best friend had been exhilarating. The smile hadn’t left her lips for the entirety of their lesson and she’d felt a hitch of excitement each time he’d drawn her close to him. He’d held her firmly too, but it had been different. She felt secure in his arms. It was as if she could feel that he cared about her from his touch alone. Then there was that moment when their noses brushed…

“Are you okay?” Kenth’s voice dragged her back to reality. Ahsoka felt heat sweep through her lekku and knew her chevrons were darkening. She hoped her date either wouldn’t notice or assume her blush was related to him.

Then again, maybe she shouldn’t lead him on at this point. Whatever her thoughts about Fives meant, she had come to the conclusion that Kenth wasn’t the person for her.

“I’m fine,” she answered unconvincingly.

“It’s getting late,” her date pointed out. “Should we go?”

“That sounds good,” she said, trying to hide the immense relief she felt.

As they made their way out of the club, Ahsoka felt the uneasy ripple in her gut again and she resisted the urge to sigh. She had known that she didn’t need to commit to Kenth or anything, but she hadn’t been able to relate to him at all. This place, these people… she couldn’t connect to any of them.

Even when it came to Sadira and her other coworkers, they could work together well, but Ahsoka had yet to feel as though she could truly relate to them. Sometimes it felt like her mind was on another planet entirely. Everyone was nice, but they didn’t understand her; not that they were obligated to.

What’s wrong with me? She’d been fantastic at establishing rapport and building relationships with citizens while she was in the GAR. So why couldn’t she do that now, when she was actually living with these people?

She knew it wasn’t their fault though. She was the anomaly who couldn’t seem to adjust to a peaceful lifestyle. But leaving wasn’t an option right now. She was stuck here, where she clearly didn’t belong, and meanwhile she was powerless to help the clones and Jedi, who actually needed her. 

I’m useless here. The realization sent anxiety swirling through her stomach, turning her pond of unease into a whirlpool.

She felt her arms subconsciously wrapping around herself. She needed to get home and throw herself onto her bed before her emotions erupted here in public. Fives was waiting up for her too and the last thing she needed was him worrying about her.

“So, Ahsoka,” Kenth began. Kriff, I zoned out again. She only now realized that they’d made it back to the dojo and her date had stopped walking. “Do you want to come back to my place?”

She was stunned for a moment. She just hadn’t expected him to ask that.

“I’m a bit tired,” she told him, trying to sound polite. “But thanks for the offer and thank you for taking me out.”

She was turning to walk towards her apartment when suddenly Kenth’s right arm was around her shoulders, steering her in the opposite direction.

“Oh, come on.” There was an edge to his voice that hadn’t been there before. “You can rest once we’re there.”

Wait, what? She planted her feet where they were, refusing to walk farther.

“I said I-” She cut off when he tightened his grip on her and began to drag her forward.

Ahsoka hadn’t wanted to assume Kenth had ill intentions, but there was no questioning the level of aggression that was now flowing off him through the Force. 

She moved to grab the arm that was around her, planning to twist out of his grasp, but before she could, his left fist collided with her jaw. He used the brief second in which she was stunned to grab hold of her right arm and twist it behind her back, continuing to push her forward in the direction he wanted. She recovered quickly and flexed her right hand, using the Force to shove her assailant away from her, just enough for her to slip out of his hold.

Now Kenth was the one caught off guard and, before he could react, Ahsoka spun into a reverse hook kick that connected with his temple. The man fell to the ground, unconscious.

The instant her attacker went down, she turned and sprinted away towards her apartment. She only slowed when she’d reached her neighborhood and was well out of sight of the dojo.

Ahsoka felt her heart continuing to pound, even after she’d stopped running. She tried taking a deep breath, but it came out shaky and didn’t alleviate any of the pressure that had formed on her chest. 

Why can’t I calm down? She didn’t understand. She’d been attacked before, countless times, and she’d never had an issue defending herself. She’d even been able to knock out several assailants without even raising her heart rate. But this was different and she’d already been teetering on the edge of stability.

She was tempted not to return home until she knew she was calm enough to prevent her best friend from noticing, but the thought of staying exposed on the street longer only intensified her distress.

Fives was waiting for her on the couch when she entered the apartment. She quickly turned away from him as she closed the door and started to slip off her boots.

“What happened?” he asked, almost immediately. She must not have turned away fast enough or, more likely, the way she was still hugging herself must have given her away.

“Nothing,” she answered, quieter than intended.

She heard his footsteps approaching behind her and she turned around just enough for her to be able to look at him. His brown eyes immediately focused on the darkening skin on her jaw. She felt a pang of guilt as she watched his fists clench and a shadow fall over his face.

“What the kriff did he do?” Fives asked sharply.

“I’m fine, just drop it!” she snapped back. His expression softened instantly, but she could still feel his ire in the Force. She hadn’t meant to lash out at him, but it really was nothing. She was fine.

Her friend took a breath. “Okay,” he said, more gently than she would have expected. “At least let me put some bacta cream on that.”

She nodded silently, unable to trust her voice or the words that it would emit right now. Maybe if she let him help with this, she could ease his worry and then escape to her bedroom.

She hugged herself tighter as he went to retrieve the bacta. When he returned, he gestured towards the couch and they sat down facing each other.

She didn’t meet his eyes as he carefully applied the cream to her face. His touch was soft as he trailed his fingers along her jaw. Her cheek throbbed from the injury, but somehow he managed to rub the bacta in without aggravating it any further.

Ahsoka kept her eyes down when Fives finished and pulled his hand back from her face. A lump had formed in her throat and she knew seeing the concern in his amber eyes would only make her feel worse.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” he asked quietly.

She shook her head, but the motion allowed a sob to slip out. No. Any effort to stop herself was drowned out as her turmoil suddenly overflowed in a stream of whimpers and tears.

Her vision was blurred, but she felt Fives’ warm hands rest on her shoulders.

“‘Soka, please talk to me.” She could tell he was trying to speak calmly, but she could hear his voice shaking with concern. “What did he do?”

She shook her head again and struggled to suck in a breath. “It’s not that,” she gasped, through the tears that were still falling. When she spoke again, her voice continued to break. “I just feel so trapped and useless. We know about the chips and the danger they pose, but there’s nothing we can do and meanwhile I’m stuck here trying to be happy living the life they want me to live, but I can’t do it. It’s not like we can just leave, but I’m not doing any good here. Not that I was doing any good on Coruscant either. I just don’t know where I belong or if I belong anywhere at all.”

Ahsoka sucked in a shaky breath that came out as several more sobs, but she forced herself to continue. “I’m so sorry, Fives. You’ve been going through so much and here I am crying about stupid things.”

“Stop.” She finally looked up at the sternness in his voice. “I’m here for you. We’re here for each other, remember? You and me. Wasn’t that the agreement? Not that all the burden should fall on you.” His brown eyes were shimmering with a deep emotion, but she couldn’t identify which one.

Then he carefully reached out to cup her face, making sure not to put pressure on her injured jaw. Her tears were still falling, but he used his thumbs to gently catch them and brush them away. Despite her current state, Ahsoka felt a tingling sensation where the pads of his fingers brushed her skin.

“I can’t tell you where you belong,” he continued softly, “but I can tell you that I don’t know where I’d be without you. I know that doesn’t solve your problem… but I’m really glad you’re here with me.”

Instead of responding right away, Ahsoka let herself lean forward, and he immediately pulled her into him, so her head rested on his chest and his strong arms engulfed her. Her weeping hadn’t stopped completely, so she took a moment to let him hold her. His hands were warm and soothing on her back, and she felt her tension ease slightly as she breathed in his familiar scent.

“I’m glad you’re here with me too,” she mumbled, after a few moments. “I’ve been feeling like this since I left the Temple… like I don’t belong anywhere. I still feel like that a lot, but… Being here with you is the closest I’ve gotten to feeling like I belong somewhere.”

“Me too,” he whispered. Then to her surprise, he tilted his head and she felt the brush of his goatee as he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

It felt like a pleasant shockwave rippled through her body, beginning at the spot his lips had touched. In response, she nuzzled her face into his neck and felt his arms tighten around her.

Ahsoka let out a long breath as her tears finally stopped. She still had no idea where she belonged or what she was meant to be doing, but none of that mattered right now, while Fives was holding her. As long as they had each other, she had a feeling that everything would somehow be okay.

Once Ahsoka’s tears had stopped and her emotions stabilized, she went to take a sonic and change into her sleep clothes, while Fives made them some tea. When she emerged from her bedroom, he was already seated back on the couch with two mugs on the table in front of him.

She sat beside him and he passed her one of the drinks. Steam floated up from inside, bringing with it a minty scent, and she couldn’t help but wonder if her best friend had deliberately made her favorite tea. If he even knows it’s my favorite.

She let her mind wander a bit farther as they silently sipped their drinks. Fives was so good to her and she realized that she didn’t just enjoy being near him; she was actually excited to be near him in a way that almost made her nervous, despite how close they were.

“‘Soka, please talk to me,” he said, after several minutes. He took one last sip of his tea, draining his mug.

“About what?” she asked, blinking at him.

“About what’s bothering you,” he clarified. He turned to look at her, his amber eyes shimmering earnestly. “You don’t have to, of course… But I want to help and that’s hard to do when I don’t know what’s going on.”

She sighed, leaning her forehead onto one of her hands. “I don’t know where to start.”

“Start with tonight. What happened?”

“I just…” She hesitated for a moment. “After the date, I decided I didn’t want to go out with him again.” She wasn’t sure why, but she didn’t want to use Kenth’s name. “I was distracted, so when I tried to leave, he caught me off guard-”

She cut off when heat suddenly flashed through the Force. She glanced up to see that Fives’ face had darkened and now she could feel the anger simmering around him.

“Fives, I’m fine.” She reached out and placed a hand on his forearm. His brown eyes widened as he realized that she’d sensed his rage without him even saying anything.

“What happened next?” he asked, not bothering to hide the way his voice sharpened now.

Ahsoka almost didn’t continue; the last thing she wanted was him getting upset over her. She’d already burdened him enough for one night and it really wasn’t a big deal. She’d been attacked countless times in the past, though she was still finding difficulty in convincing herself that this was the same.

“Anyway, he caught me off guard,” she continued carefully. “I don’t know what his goal was exactly.” Though she had a pretty good idea and she was sure her friend did too. “He punched me in the jaw, but I was able to kick him and knock him out-”

She was cut off again at the sound of Fives’ mug shattering between his palms.

“Kriff, sorry,” he muttered, quickly leaning over to pick up the broken pieces of ceramic that had fallen to the floor. This time Ahsoka didn’t need the Force to see the ire that had returned to his face and the tension that had built up in his limbs.

“It’s not a big deal,” she insisted.

“Yes, it is!” her friend said sharply, startling her. “Ahsoka, what this guy did is a crime and should never happen to anyone. And just knowing that someone hurt you…” He trailed off, fixing his gaze on what remained of his mug.

“You’re bleeding,” she pointed out quietly.

Before he could say anything, she used the Force to remove the broken pieces from his hands and set them on the table beside them. Then she took his hand in hers to examine where one last ceramic splinter had dug into his palm. He didn’t protest or even exhibit any sign of pain as she carefully extracted the piece from his skin.

Then she held his hand between hers and closed her eyes, feeling for his wound through the Force. Suddenly he jerked his hand away from hers.

“What’re you doing?” he asked and she opened her eyes to look at him.

“Healing you.”

“No.”

“Why not?” she demanded.

“Last time you tried to Force heal me, you passed out,” he reminded her.

“That was a blaster wound, though,” she pointed out. “This is just a cut. How am I supposed to improve my healing skills if I never practice?”

They stared into each other’s eyes, brown and blue, for a long moment. She understood, or at least she thought she did. He’d lost everything and everyone in his life, except her, and she knew how terrified he was of anything happening to her, however small.

“This is a small injury,” she said again. “Let me practice and if I fall, you’ll catch me, right?”

He sucked in a tight breath. “Of course I will. Fine. Just be careful,” he finally agreed.

He held his injured hand out, so she could hold it again. She closed her eyes and used the Force to feel his wound. It was incredibly mild and she still couldn’t locate any pain emanating from him. So she focused on the cut itself. Taking a deep breath, she pictured the injury. She imagined the cells of his skin pulling together across his palm, sealing the cut and smoothing themselves out.

The whole procedure took no more than two standard minutes. Though Ahsoka wasn’t nearly as drained as she had been the last time she attempted to heal, she still felt her breathing grow heavier as the last cells stitched themselves together, completing the healing process.

When she opened her eyes, Fives was staring at her. When she turned to look at him, he quickly shifted his gaze to his hand; lifting it and flexing it.

“That was amazing,” he whispered.

She felt her lekku warm at his compliment. “See? If I keep practicing, I’ll be able to heal more serious injuries eventually.”

“And you feel okay after?” His eyes found hers again.

“I guess I exerted myself a little,” she admitted. “But nothing major,” she reassured him quickly, when his brow furrowed.

“If you say so,” he said. Then he looked at his healed palm again. “Thank you, ‘Soka. I shouldn’t have broken the mug in the first place. I just-”

“It’s okay.” She placed her hand on his forearm again. “I don’t want you worrying about me, but I still appreciate it.”

“So what else?” he asked, after a silent moment. She cocked her head. “What else is bothering you? You said it wasn’t really about tonight.” She wasn’t sure if she was pleased or disappointed that he remembered that part.

She shook her head. “It’s stupid.” She waved her hand dismissively, but he caught it, and pulled both their hands closer to his chest.

“No, it’s not,” he said seriously.

“You don’t even know what it is.”

“I caught some of it while you were crying.” Ahsoka felt heat rise to her face as he continued. “Even if I hadn’t, I know you wouldn’t be upset about something that didn’t matter.”

She sighed, tightening her hand around his and feeling him squeeze back. “Sadira keeps talking about the sort of lives people live here. They’re free to do whatever they want, which I suppose is a good thing, but they don’t have any deeper purpose in life. Or if they do, I haven’t seen how. They just grow up with the goal of getting married, having kids, and raising them to do the same. Other than local crime, their lives are so peaceful and uncomplicated. I know that’s a good thing; it’s what we always wanted for the citizens of the Republic when we fought for them. I’m just not sure I could live like that, though.”

“Rik says things like that too. I’m not sure it’s my perfect situation either,” Fives reflected. “But it is nice to be free and to be treated like I’m actually a person.”

You’ve always been a person to me, she thought immediately, but she knew that’s not what he meant. The majority of the Republic didn’t share that view and, legally, the clones didn’t even have rights. Ahsoka felt a pang of guilt for complaining about a life where her best friend could finally be treated as an equal. Shouldn’t I at least want this, if it means he’s happy?

She squeezed his hand again, unsure of how to respond.

“So no marriage and kids for you, then?” he asked, startling her out of her thoughts.

Warmth rushed to her face and lekku again, and she quickly trained her gaze on her knees, hoping he wouldn’t notice. She wasn’t sure why his question made her feel so nervous all of a sudden. 

“I don’t know…” she answered. “Those things weren’t options for me as a Jedi, so I guess I never really thought seriously about them. But what would be the point if I’m not even happy where I am? I mean, I’m glad we found this place, but sometimes I just feel like… I couldn’t leave, if I wanted to.”

“What do you mean?”

“We have a life here now,” she explained. “We have jobs that we have to go to every day, so we can make rent and all that. Not to mention the whole chip situation that could put our lives in danger if we leave this planet. Even if none of that were the case, we don’t even have a ship. We’d have to rely on paying for transports, just to get off world and then where would we even go? I just don’t know what to do.” She ended her ramble with a heavy sigh.

“I don’t know what to do either,” Fives admitted. “But if you do think of anything I can do, please let me know.”

“I will.” She leaned her head onto his shoulder and felt a small flutter in her stomach as he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

“I’m glad I am too,” he said by her montral.

As he held her, Ahsoka had the fleeting hope that he’d kiss her again, but he didn’t. He just did that to comfort me when I was crying, she rationalized. Instead, she focused on her best friend’s comforting scent and the way his large hand felt, resting just above her hip.

Chapter Text

Fives barely slept that night and when he woke, several hours before his alarm, his veins were still hot with fury.

When Ahsoka had told him what happened on her date, he’d felt rage immediately flood to his limbs. He’d remembered too late that she could sense his anger through the Force, if he wasn’t careful. 

He’d somehow managed to temporarily tame his emotions, for her sake. The rest of the night, he’d kept his focus on comforting his best friend, but his ire had still slipped out when she’d mentioned her date again, resulting in him shattering the mug he’d been holding.

Even when she eventually fell asleep on his shoulder, the rage continued to boil beneath his emotional barrier. He couldn’t recall a time when he’d felt so furious, except perhaps on Umbara or when he’d discovered the chips.

He had carefully lifted Ahsoka, carried her to her bed, and tucked her blanket around her. The bruise on her jaw was already looking better, thanks to the bacta cream, but each time he glanced at it, fresh rage swept through him. He knew it was a minor injury; after being treated with bacta, it’d probably be gone by morning. Yet a physical pain stabbed through his heart when he thought of someone hurting her.

She’d said she’d knocked the guy out and Fives was sure she had, but would that be enough to stop Kenth from coming back to the dojo? Would it be enough to keep him from threatening her again? That wasn’t something Fives was prepared to leave that undetermined.

He rose early, took a sonic and dressed, and slipped out of the apartment, being careful not to wake his roommate. He made his way to the bakery that was a couple blocks down from the building they lived in.

The sky was pink, as the sun had only just risen, and a cool breeze ruffled his curls. He didn’t notice though; his thoughts were too fixated on his task and keeping his boiling ire under control.

Once at the bakery, he purchased two cups of caf and four pastries, making sure that two of them were Ahsoka’s favorite flavor. The baker offered him a pleasant greeting, but his distracted mind could only produce a hollow nod in response.

When he returned home, his friend was still asleep. Good. He quickly ate his pastries and downed his caf. Then, leaving Ahsoka’s breakfast on the kitchen counter for her, he exited the apartment once again.

Back outside, the sky was now a pale blue and more pedestrians had appeared on the streets. Fives did his best to walk swiftly, but not so urgently that he drew attention from anyone. He didn't expect anything bad would happen, but he didn’t need to give anyone a reason to speak to him at that moment.

As he traveled through the town, he tapped his comlink and a voice sounded on the other end.

“Fives?” Rik’s voice was concerned, which wasn’t surprising, given that his employee hardly ever commed him.

“Hey, Rik, I need the day off,” Fives said quickly. “I’m sorry it’s such short notice. You can cut my pay or whatever you need to do.”

“Son, you know I wouldn’t do that. Don’t worry about it. You’ve never missed a shift before anyway. But is everything alright?”

“No. Ahsoka was assaulted last night,” Fives answered bluntly.

“Oh my! Is she okay?”

“She’s alright, but there’s still something I need to do today.”

“Say no more, son. You go take care of your girl.”

Fives was stunned for a second. “She’s not my-” But Rik had already disconnected the comm. Whatever. He’d have to correct his boss later.

The dojo where Ahsoka worked had just come into view and he was pleased when he spotted one of the lights on inside.

“Fives,” Vero greeted, when the clone entered the lobby. A quick glance around confirmed that the dojo master seemed to be the only person there at the moment. “What can I do for you?”

“Sorry to barge in, Vero, but I need to talk to you.”

“Of course.” The dojo master’s light brown eyes flickered with concern and confusion. He gestured towards his office and Fives followed him inside, closing the door behind them.

“That student of yours, Kenth?” Fives could feel his anger threatening to rise up again, but he forced his voice to remain steady. Even someone as understanding as Vero wouldn’t listen to him if he lost control of his emotions.

“Yes?”

“He took Ahsoka on a date last night and assaulted her.” Vero’s mouth and eyes rounded with shock, but Fives continued speaking. “With all due respect, do not allow that man back in here and I’m not leaving until I’m sure that he’s not going to try anything.”

“I agree. Kenth will be expelled from the dojo, effective immediately,” the dojo master said, having quickly recovered from his initial surprise. “Is Ahsoka okay?”

“Yes, she’s alright. I’m sure she’ll be here soon for her shift.”

Now Vero tilted his head, his brown eyes studying Fives. “She doesn’t know you’re here, does she?” The clone just shook his head and he felt his body tensing, anticipating he may need to defend his actions. “And what was your plan again? You’re going to stay here at the dojo to make sure Kenth doesn’t show up and try anything?”

Fives folded his arms across his chest now. “Is that a problem?”

“Oh, I don’t mind at all.” Vero held up his hands innocently and something like amusement flashed across his face. “In fact, if you want to keep a lookout, then that’s one less thing for me to do. I just don’t know how Ahsoka is going to feel about it.”

Fives froze. He’d been so focused on making sure Kenth stayed away from her that he hadn’t considered how she’d feel about it. Kriff. The last thing she needed was someone else disregarding her feelings. He couldn’t back out now, though. However it happened, he needed to ensure that Ahsoka’s attacker knew to stay away from her and the dojo.

“I’ll just-”

“You don’t have to explain it to me.” Vero cut him off before he could say any more. “I appreciate you keeping predators away from my dojo, but however Ahsoka feels about it is between you two.”

Without waiting for a response, the dojo master opened the office door and exited into the lobby, leaving the clone to his own devices.

I’m doing the right thing. Fives continued to repeat that to himself as he selected a corner of the lobby where he could see the door, as well as through the windows that were directed towards the street. It was going to be a long day, but it was far from his first guard duty. 

He was still deciding whether he hoped nothing would happen or that Kenth would show up, so Fives could bash his head in.

When Ahsoka walked into the dojo that morning, she absolutely had not expected to see her best friend standing in the corner of the lobby, his amber gaze scanning each person who entered.

Fives hadn’t been at the apartment when she woke up, much to her disappointment. She still felt a weight in her mind and body from the events of the previous night, and she’d hoped seeing him that morning would boost her mood before work.

The last thing she remembered from the night before was falling asleep in his arms, with her head on his shoulder. Then she’d woken up in bed, which meant he must have carried her there.

Once she had used the sonic and changed into her day clothes, she entered the kitchen, where she found a cup of caf and two of her favorite pastries waiting for her. She would’ve rather had Fives himself, but her heart still skipped from knowing that he’d not only gotten her breakfast, but had made sure to get her favorite flavors.

As she ate, she typed a comm message to her best friend. “Thanks for breakfast. Did you go into work early?”

His response was almost immediate. “Anytime. Not going to work today. Rik said it was fine.”

“Why aren’t you going to work?”

He didn’t respond and Ahsoka felt a tingle of unease in her gut. She had no clue what Fives was up to, but she had a hunch that it had something to do with the previous night’s events.

Her suspicions were confirmed when she arrived at work to find him there.

“What in the galaxy are you doing?” she asked, walking over to the corner of the lobby that Fives was standing in.

“Making sure that shabuir doesn’t come near you again.” 

There was a dark fury in his expression that Ahsoka had sensed from him when she’d told him what happened the night before. He’d seemed calm throughout most of their talk, so he must have somehow suppressed his anger until now. Not counting the mug incident.

“Fives, that’s not necessary,” she said sternly.

“I already spoke with Vero. That man is no longer allowed in the dojo and if he shows his face, I’m going to make sure he knows how unwelcome he is,” he told her.

She felt alarm spike up her spine to her montrals. “You told Vero?”

“Yes,” Fives confirmed, without a hint of regret in his voice. “That man is a predator and he should not be allowed in this dojo, but Vero couldn’t very well expel him without knowing the reason.”

He did have a point, but Ahsoka’s focus was on her own growing irritation. “So what, you’re just going to wait for him to show up? Then what?”

“I’ll do whatever I need to do to make sure he gets the message.”

“Fives! I told you to let it go. It’s not a big deal!” As much as she hated Kenth, she wished Fives would have just let the issue drop, so she wouldn’t have to think about it anymore. “I know you’re upset about what he did, but I’m fine.”

“I know you are, but it doesn’t change the fact that he attacked you and I’m not going to let him get away with that.” Fives’ voice had nearly turned into a growl, but he took a breath to smooth out his next words. “What if this isn’t addressed and he does the same thing to someone else?”

“What if you beat him up, get yourself arrested, and then he goes and does it again anyway?” she snapped back.

“I have to at least try, Ahsoka,” he said with resolve.

Before she could respond, a shrill voice interrupted.

“I said I don’t want to be here!”

They turned to see Tiiona, one of the young students, entering the lobby with her mother. The small girl was loudly explaining to her parent why she didn’t want to be there for class.

Ahsoka resisted the urge to groan with frustration. She turned back to Fives and lowered her voice. “I have to deal with this. Do whatever the kriff you want.”

Her friend didn’t respond other than averting his gaze and training it back on the front door. She rolled her own eyes before spinning around to go over to her student.

“Hi, Tiiona,” Ahsoka greeted, forcing friendliness into her tone. She waved at the girl’s mother, who had taken a seat across the lobby.

“Hi, Ms. Ahsoka,” Tiiona grumbled, crossing her arms.

“Thank you for being early,” the Togruta said, trying to sound positive.

“I don’t want to be here,” the little girl huffed.

“But you are anyway and that shows good discipline,” Ahsoka pointed out. “Don’t worry, class will start soon and it’ll be over before you know it.”

Tiiona just shrugged in response, so the instructor took her leave for now.

Ahsoka tried not to sigh as she made her way across the training mats to the locker room. She was surprised to see that Sadira was already inside. She must have arrived while Ahsoka had been arguing with her roommate.

“What’s Fives doing here?” Sadira asked as soon as her coworker entered the room.

Ahsoka hadn’t planned on telling anyone what happened, but thanks to Fives, there wasn’t much point in hiding it now.

“My date with Kenth didn’t go well,” she explained. “He attacked me, and now Fives is worried and I guess wants to make sure he doesn’t come back here. Not that he needs to. It’s not like we can’t handle ourselves.”

“Oh my goodness.” Sadira’s hands flew to her mouth. “Ahsoka, I’m so sorry that happened!”

“It’s really not a big deal.” Why do I have to keep saying that? “I knocked him out before anything happened.”

“But it is a big deal!” To Ahsoka’s surprise, her coworker reached out to grab her hands. “No woman should have to experience that and I’m so sorry for encouraging you to go out with him in the first place.”

“Sadira, it’s really okay,” she tried to reassure her coworker. “You couldn’t have known what would happen and I’m fine.”

“If you say so.” Suddenly Sadira’s brown eyes sparked. “You know, it’s really sweet that Fives is so protective of you.”

Ahsoka snorted. “I suppose that’s one way to look at it.”

“I know you said you guys weren’t involved, but are you sure there aren’t any feelings there?” her coworker asked.

“What? No, of course not,” the Togruta protested quickly. To her dismay, she felt a blush warming her lekku and she quickly looked away, even though there was no way to hide her darkening chevrons.

“Alright,” Sadira said, making no effort to hide her disbelief. “Well, don’t worry, I won’t flirt with him anymore. Just in case.” 

She winked at Ahsoka and then stepped out of the locker room before the Togruta could respond.

Fives wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed that Kenth did not make an appearance at the dojo that day. He’d remained in his chosen corner of the lobby for almost the entire rotation, only taking a quick break to use the sonic and eat a snack, when Vero had insisted and agreed to keep an eye out. Really, the former ARC didn’t need to be right at the front of the building to respond if something did happen, but he appreciated the dojo master’s support.

Ahsoka hadn’t spoken to him at all since that morning. A small ache in his chest betrayed his guilt for upsetting her and hurt that she was ignoring him, but he continued to maintain that he’d made the right decision. If something had happened today and he hadn’t been there for her, he never would have forgiven himself, and that remorse would have been much more difficult to live with.

Finally, no more students remained in the building and Ahsoka approached him.

“Let’s go home,” she said, not meeting his eyes.

“Aren’t you going to stay and work out, like usual?” he asked.

She shrugged. “Not tonight. Let’s just go.”

“Alright,” he agreed. Even though her despondent demeanor was at least partly his fault, maybe once they were back at the apartment, he could do something to cheer her up.

As they made their way out of the dojo, they waved goodbye to Vero, Sadira, and Crest, who were stretching in the center of the training mats.

The moment Fives set foot outside, he felt himself tense. He was no Force user, but he could tell something wasn’t right. His suspicions were confirmed when Kenth stepped out from the alley across from the dojo.

“Ahsoka, I was hoping to catch you.” Kenth’s tone was eerily friendly.

Fives felt Ahsoka stiffen beside him and he instinctively stepped in front of her, placing his body between her and the man who had attacked her.

“Don’t you dare go near her,” Fives growled. His left hand was already curling into a fist, while his right hovered over the DL-18 on his hip, ready for whatever the other man’s reaction would be.

“Fives, stop!” he heard Ahsoka protest from behind him. Her voice dropped to a hiss as she added, “Don’t hurt him. It’s not worth it!”

“She’s right. This is none of your business,” Kenth said calmly. He strode closer, until he was barely an arm’s length from Fives. “I need to talk to Ahsoka, so get out of my way.”

“No.”

The instant the clone refused to move, Kenth lunged forward with a punch aimed straight at Fives’ face.

Since the former ARC only ever came to the dojo after hours, Kenth must not have realized his skill level. This fact was verified when Fives easily caught Kenth’s punch with one hand and the attacker’s light blue eyes widened with fear.

Without moving any other part of his body, Fives used the hand holding Kenth’s fist to bend the aggressor’s wrist backwards, forcing him down onto his knee. Then Fives released Kenth’s hand and the other man scrambled to his feet, backpedaling just out of Fives’ strike zone.

“Don’t think I don’t know what you are, clone,” Kenth spat. Then he turned his icy eyes on Ahsoka, who had stepped forward to stand beside her friend. “I can’t believe you’d rather be with some lab grown meat droid with half a life than with a real man who could actually take care of you.”

The man had taken a step forward as he spoke, and Fives tensed again, in case he launched another attack.

Kenth was starting to say something else, but before he could, Ahsoka shot forward and slammed her fist into his cheek, knocking him to the ground.

“He’s already a better man than you’ll ever be, no matter how long you live,” she snarled. Fives was stunned by the ferocity in her voice, as well as the content of her words.

This time, when Kenth rose back to his feet, he took several more steps backwards. “Fine. Be with your clone. Tail-head sluts like you aren’t worth my time anyway.”

His last few words were drowned out by the sounds of blaster fire. Kenth cowered as two blue bolts flashed over his head. Fives turned to see that Vero had appeared behind them and was holding a M-300 stun rifle, aimed just above where Kenth had been standing.

“Get off my property!” the dojo master shouted commandingly. “If I see you here again, I’ll have you arrested for trespassing, if I don’t shoot you first.”

This time, Kenth didn’t even try to speak again as he slunk away towards one of the alleys across the street.

“Thanks, Vero,” Ahsoka said, turning to face her boss.

“Not a problem,” the dojo master said, lowering his weapon. “Hopefully that’ll be the end of him showing his face around here.”

“I hope so,” she agreed and Fives nodded as well.

“Anyway, why don’t you two head home?” Vero suggested kindly.

“Thank you,” Fives said. He and the dojo master locked eyes for a moment, and Fives was fairly sure that Ahsoka’s boss understood the rest of what he wanted to say. Thank you for helping me look out for Ahsoka. Then he turned to follow his best friend.

They walked in silence for the first few blocks. The streets had darkened with the fallen night and Fives made sure to carefully note their surroundings, in case Kenth tried to approach them again.

“Are you okay?” he asked after a while.

“I’m fine,” Ahsoka answered, keeping her eyes focused on the street ahead of her. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he responded. He let out a single laugh, hoping to lighten the mood. “So how come you got to punch him, but I wasn’t allowed to?”

He spotted the small smile on her lips, just as she tilted her head away in an attempt to hide it. “Because I can punch a human without breaking his face,” she pointed out.

Of all the things Fives hated about being a clone, being significantly physically stronger than normal humans wasn’t one he ever complained about.

“I… could’ve held back,” he muttered unconvincingly.

“Oh, sure,” she chuckled. “You know, Vero can’t tell people who to look out for if his face is unrecognizable.”

“Would that be so bad, though?”

She finally looked at him and he felt like a weight lifted off his chest when their eyes locked. It’d been less than a day that she’d been avoiding him, but he’d missed her.

Then her expression grew serious again. “Also, I didn’t like how he was talking about you.”

Fives felt a pang in his chest. He appreciated her defending him, but… I’m really not worth that.

“Thanks…” He trailed off as he tried to find the best words to express his thoughts. “But you know, he did have a point.”

“What?” Her voice was high with shock at his statement.

This time it was Fives who looked away and trained his gaze on the road ahead. “I do have half a lifespan, so I can’t be with anyone long term. It wouldn’t be fair to them.” He laughed dryly. “Besides, I have too many problems for anyone to put up with for even half a life.”

Suddenly her hand was in the middle of his chest, halting his stride. She stepped in front of him, keeping her palm on his sternum.

“Fives, please don’t say that.”

“Why not?” he asked quietly. It’s the truth.

Even through the nighttime darkness he could still see the emotion rippling in her cerulean eyes as she looked up at him. “Just… the right person wouldn’t care about all that.”

He wasn’t quite sure what she meant or, if he did, it was pretty wishful thinking. But with her blue orbs still staring into him, he couldn’t bring himself to voice his disagreement.

“If you say so,” he said noncommittally.

She stood there another moment, then stepped to the side so they could continue walking. Then she surprised him by reaching out and taking his hand, threading her fingers through his. 

They’d held hands countless times now, but they had never intertwined their fingers like this. Somehow the small variation was so much more intimate and Fives felt his heartbeat stutter.

“Thank you for being there for me,” she said softly, seeming unaware of his internal reaction.

He used his thumb to gently stroke the back of her hand. “Always, ‘Soka.”

Neither of them let go of the other until they got back to the apartment.

Chapter Text

When Fives arrived at work the following day, he was surprised that Rik waited a full thirty standard minutes after his employee had arrived at work to ask about what happened with Ahsoka.

They were settled in the break room. Rik was using one of the tables to work on repairing a portable holoprojector, while Fives sat on one of the couches, programming a datapad. He rarely had any tasks at the shop that didn’t require the table at his workstation, so he’d decided to take this opportunity to lean back on the sofa while he worked.

Of course, this meant Rik was back there too, as this was where he usually worked. It wasn’t that Fives didn’t want to converse with the older man; Rik had actually become one of his favorite people to talk to, other than Ahsoka. After the events of the last few days though, Fives’ mind was a tangle of emotions that he wasn’t sure he was ready to address.

The rage he’d felt towards Kenth had resolved somewhat, but not entirely. Fives was still horrified that Ahsoka had been attacked and he felt an irrational sense of guilt that she’d gotten hurt at all. He’d felt like there was a literal stab wound in his chest when she broke down and it terrified him that he didn’t know how to help her. He’d comforted her as best he could and she seemed more stable now, but none of that had alleviated her problems.

He had known that he cared about his best friend, but after the intensity of his emotions over the past couple days, he had to question just how deep his feelings ran. Then Kenth’s words had reminded him of the all too real complication of Fives’ lifespan. No matter how he felt about Ahsoka, it wouldn’t last long. Maybe it’d even be better for her if he wasn’t around at all, dragging her down and making her feel obligated to stay somewhere she didn’t want to be.

“Do you not want to talk about it?” Rik’s voice yanked Fives back to reality.

“No, it’s okay,” he responded, quickly burying his dismal thoughts. 

Then he described to Rik what had happened. He told him about the initial assault and mentioned that he comforted Ahsoka when she returned home, though he didn’t elaborate on the true nature of her breakdown. Then he explained his decision to stand guard on the dojo, just in case Kenth showed up there.

Fives paused his story when he heard his boss chuckle.

“How did she feel about you acting as a guard all day?” Rik asked, his brown eyes sparking with amusement.

“She wasn’t too happy about it,” Fives admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m glad I was there though because he did try to corner her when she left work.”

“So what happened?”

Now he let a smirk cross his face. “I almost broke his wrist, Ahsoka punched him in the face, and Vero nearly shot him in the head. I think he got the message.”

A laugh rumbled out of Rik’s chest and Fives couldn’t help but smile along with him.

“You have to wonder who would be dumb enough to try to attack someone at a martial arts dojo,” the older man pointed out, still chortling.

“Now that you mention it, I’m not sure who’d be stupid enough to attack Ahsoka. She knocked him out with one kick the first time and he still came back.”

“Well,” Rik’s voice softened, “she’s lucky to have a good man like you looking out for her.”

Fives had to suppress a snort of disbelief. “Nah, she doesn’t need me to protect her. She’s a much better fighter than me any day.” Despite how defensive he’d been of her over the past couple days, he truly believed that. Ahsoka didn’t need him as much as he wanted her to, if at all.

“Sometimes we need protection from things that aren’t physical.”

Oh. Rik’s gentle statement struck Fives much harder than he would’ve thought possible. He’d never thought about it that way before, but now when he replayed the events in his mind, he realized his boss was right.

Fives knew Ahsoka could take care of herself. It was true that he loathed seeing her injured, but that concern had been miniscule compared to the sharp pain he’d felt when she revealed her emotional turmoil.

He decided it was time to change the subject. “So what happened with that comlink I sliced for the police?”

Rik grinned at him again. “Well, they weren’t too happy at first that I handed the job off to someone else. But once they saw your work, they were thrilled.”

“That’s good,” Fives said, exhaling with relief. He’d been concerned as to how the police would react to his unsolicited help, though that had ended up being the least of his worries over the past couple days.

“Actually,” the shop owner glanced at his chrono, “the police chief wanted to speak with you. I told her you weren’t working yesterday, but that you’d be here today. She should be here any minute.”

Kriff. Even though he and Ahsoka had been living in this town for a while now, Fives still wasn’t keen on the idea of getting too involved with the locals. They still could be at risk, if they got too close to the wrong people. He’d felt the same way about his best friend going out with Kenth, though Fives had to admit to himself now that those feelings had been at least partly due to jealousy.

As for the local law enforcement, his boss seemed to trust them, but Fives had to hesitate, especially after what had happened with the Coruscant Guard. 

“I’m sure it’s nothing bad,” Rik tried to reassure him.

“I hope so.”

The chime of the shop door interrupted their conversation and Rik immediately hopped out of his seat to answer.

“Chief!” Then the store owner stuck his head back into the breakroom. “Fives, the chief is here.”

“You don’t say,” Fives said, trying not to shake his head with amusement.

He placed the datapad he’d been working on down onto the table next to the couch and made his way out to the main shop.

The police chief was standing in the center of the store with Rik. Her appearance was nearly identical to when Fives had seen her a few days ago; she wore the same, or an extremely similar, dark suit and her black hair was once again pulled back into a tight bun.

When Fives emerged from the breakroom, her teal eyes locked on him and she extended a hand as he approached.

“Fives, is it?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he answered, steadily meeting her gaze.

“I’m Theala Iblis,” she said, shaking his hand firmly. “I’m the Chief of Police here in Kaloshan. I wanted to thank you personally for helping us decrypt that comlink.”

“Happy to help,” Fives responded, with a small shrug.

“I have to say, we were quite impressed with your work,” Theala continued. “In one day, you decrypted a device that my best programmer couldn’t figure out in a week. I wanted to see if you were interested in working part time for the police department as a slicer. It would be on a case by case basis since, fortunately, we don’t have a steady flow of high profile crimes around here.”

Fives was stunned, though not surprised that they didn’t have anyone else to call on who had ARC level training. Not long ago, he would have immediately declined, but now he found that he had more reasons to take the job than to not.

He’d been out of combat for longer than he’d ever been in his life but, as his episode last week demonstrated, he definitely wasn’t healed enough mentally for firefights. He missed being able to help those around him, as had been his purpose in the GAR. If he took this job though, he could at least protect the citizens of this town indirectly.

Having a second job would also allow him to save up more money. He had originally planned to ask Rik for more hours, but this would work just as well.

He flashed a glance at his boss.

“I don’t mind,” Rik assured him.

“You can come work at the station around your hours here,” the chief added. “No need to disrupt your current schedule.”

“I’ll take it then,” Fives said.

“Excellent!” Theala clapped her hands together. “I actually have something for you to look at if you don’t mind coming down to the station later today.”

“Sure. I’ll head over after my shift here.”

“I’ll see you then.” Theala shot Rik a quick salute and exited the shop.

As soon as she left, Fives pulled out his comlink to message Ahsoka.

“I’m going to be working late, so I’ll miss the workout tonight.”

He figured she must be on break because she responded almost instantly. “Okay, I’ll see you at home.”

“You know,” Rik began, as they settled back in the break room, “you won’t be able to spend as much time with Ahsoka if you’re working two jobs.”

“I know,” Fives acknowledged, keeping his eyes fixed on the datapad that he’d resumed repairing. “I could use the money, though.”

“Can I ask what for?”

He looked up at his boss now. “Actually, there is something I wanted to ask you about. Maybe you can help me.”

Ahsoka was actually relieved that Fives was busy after work today.

She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what her best friend had said the night before about his lifespan. She’d always known about the clones’ accelerated aging and she had reflected on the implications of such engineering in the past, but she hadn’t thought about what it meant for Fives now. An ache formed in her chest at the thought. He’d been through so much and if anyone deserved to live a full life it was him.

She’d laid awake for much of the previous night brainstorming what she could do for him and maybe even of all of his brothers, one day. She had to find a cure, only she had no knowledge of genetics or anything of that nature, other than a basic understanding.

“Do you or Hela know anyone at the hospital who works with genetics?” Ahsoka asked her boss, while they were eating lunch that day.

Hela was Vero’s wife and Ruta’s mother. She worked full time at the local hospital as an orthopedist, so Ahsoka had only met her a few times, when she was available to escort their son to and from his martial arts classes.

“Hela has a friend who does, I think,” Vero answered, stroking his chin thoughtfully. “Actually, she’s bringing Ruta to class later this afternoon, so you can ask her then.”

Classes started up again after lunch and before Ahsoka knew it, Ruta was crashing into her, hugging her around the waist.

“Ms. Ahsoka!” the little boy cried.

“Hi, Ruta,” she said, using a hand to ruffle his hair. “Is your mom here? I wanted to ask her something.”

“Yeah, she’s here, but aren’t you going to teach my class? Please! It’s been forever!”

“Actually, it’s been two days,” she pointed out, while the youngling continued to ramble. “Mr. Crest is warming up your class, but don’t worry, I’ll be helping teach later on.”

“Okay good!” Then, just as quickly as he’d arrived, Ruta dashed off towards where the other students were lining up for class.

“Hi, Hela.” Ahsoka walked out into the lobby to greet the other woman. 

Vero’s wife was a light skinned woman, with a curved figure and short, black hair. As soon as she saw the Togruta, she pulled her into a tight hug.

“Ahsoka! Vero told me what happened with that awful man. I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Thanks, I’m fine. It really wasn’t a big deal,” Ahsoka tried to reassure her, patting her back.

The other woman pulled back, but continued to hold onto the Togruta’s shoulders. Her big, green eyes were round with concern. Ruta might have looked like a small version of his father, but he had gotten his bright eyes from his mother.

“Okay, dear, but please let me know if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Hela,” Ahsoka said again. “I did want to ask you something, but not about that. I was looking for someone who does genetics research or something like that. Vero said you might know someone.”

“I do!” Hela answered excitedly. Ruta also seemed to have gotten his boundless energy from her. “The hospital does have a small research center and I have this friend, Dr. Ardana Hytoni. She’s a hematologist and she likes to study genetics on the side, though she seldom gets to with how busy she is with her primary work.”

“That’s great. Do you think she’ll still be at the hospital when classes end this evening?”

The other woman chuckled. “If she were anyone else, I’d say ‘no,’ but Ardana never stops working, so I’m sure she’ll be there. Actually, let me comm her now and let her know to expect you.” She turned to dig through the bag that hung on her shoulder.

“Thank you.” Ahsoka exhaled with relief. She still couldn’t be sure that Ardana would even agree to help her, but this was a start.

Instead of a comlink, Hela produced a portable holoprojector from her purse. She tapped a frequency into it and, after a few seconds, the hologram of a Twi’lek appeared.

“Yes, yes, hold on,” the Twi’lek was mumbling something and squinting through her round glasses.

“Hi, Ardana,” Hela said, flashing Ahsoka a small eye roll. “Is this a bad time?”

“No, I’m good, just wanted to write this down so I don’t forget. Yes, okay. Hi, Hela.” Ardana finally looked at them through the holoprojector.

“This is my friend, Ahsoka. She has some questions about genetics for you.”

“Oh! Absolutely!” Even though the hologram was entirely blue, her eyes seemed to light up.

“Thank you so much, Ardana,” Ahsoka said, leaning closer to the Twi’lek’s image. “I know it’s last minute, but could I come by the hospital this evening?”

“Of course,” Ardana agreed. “I’ll meet you in the research lab. Oh wow, I haven’t been in there in a while. Anyway, do you know how to get there?”

“I’ll give her directions,” Hela chimed in.

“Thanks! Okay, now I really need to get this done, so I have more time later.” Then the Twi’lek’s eyes focused on something out of view and the hologram disappeared.

“She can get really sucked into her work,” Hela explained. “She’s very sweet though.”

Ahsoka finished out the rest of her work day and then headed for the hospital. Hela and Sadira had both asked why she wanted to know about genetics, but she’d told them that she wasn’t ready to share just yet.

As far as she knew, Rik and Vero were the only ones, other than Kenth, who knew that Fives was a clone. She supposed the dojo master might have told his wife, but regardless, that wasn’t something she was planning to explain to everyone. They were pretty sure Vero was trustworthy, at this point, but that didn’t mean they needed to disclose that information to anyone who didn’t need to know.

The research lab wasn’t too difficult to find. The Kaloshan hospital was one of the largest buildings in town, aside from the town hall, but it was still tiny compared to pretty much every building on Coruscant.

Hela had explained that Ahsoka would be able to access the lab by entering through the hospital’s main entrance, but it would be faster if she skirted the main building and used the lab’s back door. 

The hospital backed up to a dense forest, which cast shadows over the rear of the building, making the temperature outside the lab entrance several degrees cooler than in the rest of the town. Ahsoka had never minded being around a lot of people, but she had to admit that there was something peaceful about walking along the edge of the trees, rather than weaving her way through the busy hallways of the hospital.

The lab entrance was a single durasteel door that looked more like a closet door than a building entrance. When Ahsoka reached it, she knocked carefully. She could only sense one Force presence in the lab, so hopefully that was Ardana.

“Come in!” came a shout from inside the lab.

Ahsoka obeyed and pressed the panel to open the door, finding that it was unlocked.

The research lab was chilly and bland in appearance. Everything from the walls to the furniture was some color between white and brown. Tables ran down the center of the room, covered in various devices that Ahsoka didn’t recognize and seemingly endless stacks of flimsi. Lab equipment lined two of the walls, while one wall contained rows of cabinets that look like they held flimsi files. The only colorful thing in the whole room was a bench with blue cushions that sat along the fourth wall.

“You must be Ahsoka!” A head popped up from between two of the tables.

“Yes. Are you Ardana?” the Togruta asked.

“Yes!” The doctor hopped up from where she’d been crouched and hurried over to Ahsoka. She was a pink skinned Twi’lek with violet swirls on her lekku and gold eyes, partially hidden behind a pair of gray rimmed glasses. With how much humans dominated Voria, Ahsoka wasn’t sure she’d met any Twi’leks here at all, until now.

“Nice to meet you.” Ahsoka extended her hand and Ardana shook it rapidly.

“I’m so happy to be in here again,” the doctor said. “I get so busy with my day work that I often don’t get to do any research. So, what can I help you with? What do you want to know about genetics?”

Ahsoka took a breath. If Ardana was going to help, she was one of the few who did need to know Fives’ identity. The Togruta just hoped that wouldn’t be an issue.

“First, what I’m going to tell you needs to be kept quiet. It’s not anything bad,” she added quickly. The doctor cocked her head, listening. “It just wouldn’t necessarily go over well if it got out, but I need help because I really have no idea how to go about this.”

“Okay.” Ardana’s face was neutral, but curious, and she nodded for Ahsoka to continue.

“How much do you know about the clones in the Grand Army of the Republic?”

“Some, not a lot. The cloning process is something I’ve always wanted to study, but that information isn’t the most accessible.”

“That… sounds about right,” Ahsoka agreed. “The clones were designed to age at twice the rate of normal humans, so that the Republic could grow soldiers more quickly.” It sounded even more horrible, now that she was voicing it and she tried not to flinch at her own words. “This means that, even after the war, they’ll only get to live half a life.”

“Goodness, that’s awful,” Ardana said, tapping her fingers thoughtfully on her lips. “That’s definitely not something you’d hear about in the Outer Rim.”

“Even so, this next part is what needs to be kept quiet. My friend, who lives here on Voria with me, is a clone who deserted the GAR.” She decided there was no need to explain the exact circumstances of Fives’ departure from the army. “If he’s found out, he could be arrested and executed by the Republic.” This time she couldn’t stop herself from wincing at the thought of such a thing happening to Fives.

“And that would be legal?” the doctor gasped and Ahsoka nodded. “Of course, I won’t tell anyone,” she promised. “What do you need my help with, though?”

“I want to find a way to cure his advanced aging, so that he can live a more normal life. Then, if that works out, maybe we could even help his brothers too, once the war is over.”

Ardana thought for a moment, fingertips still tapping at her mouth, and Ahsoka held her breath, praying that the doctor would agree to help.

“Yes, we need to fix this,” Ardana finally said, determination flashing through her gold eyes. “I’d be happy to help. The only thing is that I work long hours at the hospital, so it’s difficult to find time to do much else. I can still help, it just may take a while.”

“What if I helped?” the Togruta asked.

“Do you know anything about biology or genetics?”

“Ah, no, I guess I don’t really,” Ahsoka admitted. “But I can do other things. I can organize things or clean or really anything you need. I’m happy to devote my time to this, if it means my friend gets to live the life he deserves.” 

Of course, she knew that giving up all of her free time would significantly decrease the time she was able to spend with Fives, but once his aging was fixed, they’d have a whole life of time to spend together. If he’ll have me that long. She quickly shook the thought away; she wasn’t even certain that was what she wanted, let alone what he wanted. That wasn’t the point, anyway.

“I think that could work,” Ardana agreed. “Shall we meet here in the evenings, after our work shifts?”

“Yes, of course. I’m all yours, for as long as you need me.”

“We’ll start tomorrow then,” the doctor decided. “I’ll take a few days to get some things set up and then I’ll need a DNA sample from your friend.”

Ahsoka had hoped to surprise Fives when the cure was completed, but she realized that was unrealistic. She didn’t even know how long this process could take. She didn’t want to ask Ardana yet, but she suspected it could be anywhere from weeks to months to years.

“Let me know when you need him and I’ll bring him in.”

Chapter Text

Ahsoka and Fives didn’t see much of each other over the course of the next week.

After her initial meeting with Ardana, the Togruta had returned to her apartment to find that her best friend wasn’t home yet. Ahsoka knew she wouldn’t be able to keep her project a secret from him for long, but when he got back to their apartment that evening, she was pleased that he hadn’t realized that she’d gotten home late as well. She hoped that she could at least avoid telling him long enough for it to be a surprise when she did eventually bring him to the lab.

Then he told her about the chief of police visiting him at work and offering him a part time job as a slicer.

“Fives, that’s wonderful!” Ahsoka exclaimed, wrapping one arm around him in a hug.

He looped one of his arms around her waist and squeezed her back. “Thanks, ‘Soka,” he said, but she could feel through the Force that something was off.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he said quickly. Then he sighed. “I’m really happy to have this position. I just wish I could do more, you know?”

“I know,” she said quietly, leaning into him. 

She understood without him having to explain. He wanted to fight as he always had: on the battlefield, physically protecting others. Fives had always been like that, even back in the GAR. But they both knew why that wasn’t an option for him right now.

“This town doesn’t need soldiers, though,” she continued. “It needs intelligence and that’s why this position suits you so well.”

He didn’t respond verbally, but tightened his arm around her.

Then Fives elaborated further on his new job; explaining that it was on a case by case basis, but that they did have him working on something at the moment. He assured her that it wouldn’t take up too much of his time, unaware that she’d be just as, if not more, busy.

So Ahsoka wasn’t surprised when she came home to an empty apartment five nights in a row. Even on their day off, Fives had been gone most of the day and she couldn’t help but wonder just how intense this case was. He’d said he wouldn’t be working too much extra, but he did seem to be coming home later and later.

The bright side for her, however, was that she was able to assist Ardana in her spare time, without her roommate even noticing her absence.

After the first two days, Ardana had informed Ahsoka that she had a plan for how she wanted to go about developing the cure. She’d said that she wasn’t sure how long it would take, giving the incredibly vague range of two months to two years. Still, Ahsoka figured two years wouldn’t matter so much in the long run, once Fives’ life was extended.

A few days later, Ardana stated that she was going to need a DNA sample before she could progress further. So that night, when Fives finally returned home, Ahsoka had asked if there was any way he could take the following night off to go somewhere with her.

“That should be fine,” he said without hesitating.

“The chief won’t mind if you aren’t there for a day?”

Fives shook his head. “It should be fine. I’m not working on anything right now that’s time sensitive.”

“Can you meet me at the dojo after work?” she asked.

“Sure. Where are we going, exactly?”

“It’s a surprise.”

He met her at the dojo the following evening, though he arrived later than Ahsoka had expected him to. She’d been pacing just outside the dojo entrance for nearly twenty standard minutes and was just about to comm him, when she spotted him jogging up the road towards her.

“What took so long?” she asked, folding her arms across her chest.

“Sorry, I lost track of time,” Fives answered, coming to a halt beside her.

“What’s that?”

Ahsoka stepped closer to him and she felt him tense with surprise when she reached up to touch his dark hair. She trailed her fingers over a spot of blue intertwined with his curls.

“Is that paint?” she asked, furrowing her brow.

“Oh.” Why did she sense a spike of nerves from him? “Just from something I was working on.”

Concern instantly fluttered in her gut. Fives had always been a terrible liar and, while his statement didn’t seem completely false, Ahsoka had a feeling that he was hiding something from her. She was tempted to say something, but changed her mind. It’s not like he’s obligated to tell me everything he does.

“I didn’t realize painting was part of either of your jobs,” she teased, flashing him an amused smile.

“Hey, I have a lot of impressive skills you don’t know about.” He smirked as he spoke; his brief nervousness having quickly evaporated.

“Oh, I knew you could paint,” Ahsoka countered. “I just didn’t know you could paint things other than Rishi eels.”

“You’d be surprised.” She hadn’t realized her fingers were still in his hair until he reached up and pulled her hand down. “And speaking of surprises, weren’t we going somewhere that you weren’t going to tell me about ahead of time?”

“Yes and we’re already late.”

Keeping hold of his hand, she pulled him away from the dojo and in the direction of the hospital.

Dusk had fallen, darkening the streets as they walked swiftly through Kaloshan. The hospital itself was illuminated by its own artificial light, though it didn’t brighten the walkway between the back of the building and the adjacent forest.

“We’re not breaking in, right?” Fives asked, as they walked through the shadows behind the research lab. “I’m not so sure committing crimes would look so good for me at my new job.”

“What? No!” Ahsoka laughed. “Since when have I broken into anything?”

“Since you were back in the GAR, breaking into Separatist bases literally all the time,” he pointed out.

“Okay, but this isn’t a Separatist base.”

“If it is, they managed to fool us for a long time.”

She chuckled again as they made it to the lab entrance. Ahsoka pressed the panel and the door slid open. She’d learned pretty quickly that Ardana never bothered to lock it and it had taken quite a bit of effort to convince the doctor to at least secure the entrance when she left the lab.

“Ardana?” Ahsoka called.

The Twi’lek immediately leapt up from the desk she’d been hunched over and hurried over to greet them.

“Is this him?” the doctor asked, her gold eyes already alight with excitement.

“Yes,” Ahsoka answered, at the same time Fives asked, “What’s going on?”

“This is Dr. Ardana Hytoni. Ardana, this is Fives.”

“Hi!” the Twi’lek said cheerily.

“Hello, ma’am, nice to meet you,” Fives said politely. He shook hands with the doctor, then turned to blink quizzically at Ahsoka.

“I asked Ardana if she could help develop a cure for your accelerated aging,” she explained. “I’ve been helping as much as I can in my free time, though she’s the real expert here.”

“I actually think I know how we can make this work!” Ardana added excitedly, stepping forward. “I’ve already gotten started, but I need your DNA before I can make any further progress. I can’t say for sure how long it’ll take, but I think I already know how to start.”

Fives stood there, speechless, as the doctor continued to ramble. Ahsoka knew he’d be shocked, but she’d hoped he’d at least be as excited as she was. 

He wasn’t. His brown eyes had darkened and for some reason, he took a rigid step back.

“Ardana, can we have a minute?” Ahsoka asked, cutting the doctor off mid-sentence.

“Oh!” The Twi’lek sounded like she’d been in a verbal trance, but the Togruta’s words had snapped her back to reality. She quickly glanced between the two friends. “Yes, of course, sorry about that.” Then she trotted back to her desk.

As soon as Ardana was out of auditory range, Fives spoke, his voice nearly a whisper. “Why?”

What? Ahsoka was baffled by his reaction. She’d thought he’d be happy, but instead he looked as though he’d been presented with terrible news.

She turned and took his hands in hers. “You’re the one who said you don’t have as many opportunities with a shortened lifespan, so I thought we should fix that.”

“You didn’t have to,” he said quietly, not meeting her eyes. “It would take up so much time and resources. There are much more important things you could be doing… I’m really not worth all this.”

Oh, Fives. Ahsoka felt like something was squeezing her heart. Still holding his hands, she guided them over to the bench along the lab wall, and they sat together.

“It’s not just for you. If this works, maybe we could find a way to make better lives for all your brothers.” She paused a few heartbeats, then added, “But I would still do this, even if it were just for you.”

“Ahsoka,” now his voice was shaking, “I… I wasn’t created to live a long life. I’m not even sure I’d want to…” live longer. She heard the words, even though he didn’t speak them aloud.

She felt her breath hitch. How had she not known he felt this way? She knew he wasn’t fully healed from his trauma, and he may never be completely, but she’d really thought his outlook had been better than this. Maybe he didn’t know either, until now. They hadn’t actually discussed extending his life at any point previously.

Fives didn’t move as she extracted one of her hands from his and carefully reached up to place her palm on the side of his head. He made no effort to stop her from connecting her mind to his and her heart broke at what she felt.

He was still so dark and cold and, beneath everything else, weary. Ahsoka thought she understood. His whole life had been full of anguish. He’d gone through so much and those shadows still surrounded him, even now. To him, more life meant more pain.

She slid her hand down to cup his cheek. “Fives, it doesn’t matter what you were created for, what matters is what you do now. Look at all you’ve done. You’ve been through so much and you were still able to come here and make a life for yourself. You’re creative, intelligent, thoughtful, and for Force sake, you’re even helping the police keep the people in this town safe! And you’ve helped me. I don’t know where I’d be without you, Fives, and I know it’s selfish on my part, but… I just want more time with you.”

He finally looked at her, his brown eyes shimmering with so much emotion that she felt an ache in her chest.

“Okay,” he said, barely audible.

Ahsoka barely held back a cry of relief as she pulled him into an embrace. His arms encircled her, holding her tightly. She took the opportunity to push comfort to him through the Force and she felt him relax a little.

“It’ll get better, I promise,” she whispered.

“Will you be here with me, through all of this?” he asked, his deep voice vibrating against her shoulder.

“Of course.” She leaned back to look at him, but he pulled her close again, pressing their foreheads together.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes. I wouldn’t start all this if I wasn’t prepared to see it through with you,” she assured him.

“Thank you.” He exhaled heavily. “I just… I don’t think I can do this without you, ‘Soka.”

Ahsoka felt her heart clench again. She wasn’t sure if “this” meant the development of the aging cure or life in general.

“You won’t have to,” she said gently. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise. You and me, remember?”

He nodded against her head. “You and me. Thank you,” he said again.

They sat in that position for a while longer, foreheads touching and Ahsoka sending as much warmth as she could to him through the Force. Gradually, she felt his mind begin to lighten, though only slightly. That would have to do for now. Once she was sure he was stable, she sat back.

“Are you ready?” she asked and he nodded.

They stood together and she took one of his hands, intertwining their fingers. Then they walked hand in hand over to Ardana, who was still waiting eagerly for Fives’ blood sample.

Fives lay awake in his bed that night, attempting to sort through the whirlwind of addled emotions that he’d experienced that day.

He was frustrated. Just like before the assassination attempt on the governor, he’d really thought he was doing better mentally. His nightmares had decreased in frequency. He’d been feeling much calmer and his general mindset had been lighter. He was doing well at work and he felt as though he was getting used to his new domestic life. He knew he’d never again be the Fives who served as an ARC trooper in the GAR, but this was the closest he’d felt since leaving Coruscant.

But when Ahsoka mentioned the aging cure, his heart had plummeted. His friend’s blue eyes betrayed her shock and, truthfully, he had been just as confused. The dark chill that he’d barely felt in weeks had suddenly flooded his mind, constricting his chest, and reminding him why he shouldn’t hope for a more positive future.

He couldn’t ask his best friend, or anyone, to put so much time, effort, and resources into trying to extend his life. If they never found a cure, how much time would have been wasted that could have been used for something more important? Fives had known the reality of his lifespan for as long as he could remember and he’d long ago made his peace with it; all the clones had.

What would he even do with more time? He enjoyed his life on Voria now, but how long would that last? Ahsoka had made a good point when she’d expressed her discontentment with an insignificant, repetitive lifestyle. He felt okay where he was right now, but he knew he couldn’t expect to be satisfied running through this same routine over and over for the rest of his life, however long it was.

Ahsoka was the best part of his existence right now, but she would leave eventually. She’d promised to stay by his side throughout the process of finding the aging cure, but then what? He knew she wanted more for her future than he could ever give her. He knew she cared about him immensely, but he could never expect her to want to remain here with him long term, especially once they found the cure. Even if she did stay, even if she somehow returned the swell of feelings that he harbored for her now, it was inevitable that he would fail her eventually.

He’d failed everyone that he’d ever fought to protect. Domino Squad, Echo, Tup… Even Rex and all of his living brothers were a breath away from the chips in their brains activating and overriding who they were as men. So it only made sense that he would let Ahsoka down too and, once she left, he’d be alone. What was the point of living longer if all he was doing was struggling and searching desperately for a sense of purpose that he might never find?

But he couldn’t deny Ahsoka anything, so he’d committed to lending his DNA, if nothing else, to finding the aging cure. Then he’d selfishly asked her to stay with him, when he knew how much she disliked her life on Voria. She deserves so much better than someone as broken as I am.

He needed to halt this swirl of thoughts.

Fives sat up on his bed and crossed his legs. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting himself relax into meditation.

He focused on clearing his mind, casting away his twisted thoughts and creating space for smoother ones. He was still cold, but he managed to push that sensation to the back of his mind.

He couldn’t recreate the warmth he always felt when Ahsoka used the Force to guide him, but it was thanks to her training that he was at least able to settle his turbulent thoughts on his own.

When he finally opened his eyes again, he had made a decision.

He concluded to maintain his focus on the project he had been working on; the one he hadn’t told Ahsoka about. He had been working on this task for over a week now and while he was excited to complete it, he was also dreading its conclusion. After today’s events, though, he had to accept how important it was to finish what he had started.

Chapter Text

Fives and Ahsoka hardly saw each other over the next few weeks, not that he was surprised. She was working her normal shift at the dojo, then heading to the hospital to help Ardana, while the doctor worked on the aging cure. Meanwhile, he was working his usual shift at Rik’s shop, and trying to balance his slicing for the PD with continuing to work on his personal project.

When they did see each other, however, they seemed closer somehow. They held hands more often, sat closer together, and there seemed to be more lingering touches and eye contact than there had been before.

Fives felt his heart leap whenever Ahsoka was near him, but when it landed, his chest would ache from the impact. As exhilarating as their interactions were, the reminder that a deeper relationship wouldn’t work between them was branded to the front of his mind. He could never bring himself to distance himself from her, though.

After about three weeks, he was ready. Ahsoka had yet to take a day off from working with Ardana, but when they were sitting on the couch at home one night, Fives asked that she at least take a break for one evening.

“What for?” she asked.

“Well, first of all, you do need to take a break once in a while,” he pointed out.

“Why? I never took a break as a Jedi in the GAR.”

“We didn’t really have a choice back then.” He nudged her shoulder with his. “Don’t wear yourself out if you don’t have to. But also, there’s something I want to show you and that’s hard to do when you never take a break.”

“Well, I’m off right now.” She nudged him back.

“It’s almost midnight. We’re not going anywhere,” he laughed.

“Okay, fine. I’ll ask if Ardana minds if I take some time off tomorrow evening.”

Ardana hadn’t minded, which was no shock. She was hardly Ahsoka’s boss and, from what little Fives knew of the doctor, she would be too focused on whatever she was working on to really notice Ahsoka’s absence.

Fives met Ahsoka at the dojo after her shift that evening and this time it was him leading the way through the Kaloshan streets. Night was falling, as it always did around the time his best friend got off work. He’d hoped to show this surprise to her in the daylight, but with how busy they both were, he would take what he could get.

“What are we doing here?” Ahsoka asked, when they arrived at the community hangar.

“I told you I wanted to show you something. Were you not listening?” Fives teased, leading the way inside. When he turned to enter the hangar, he almost missed her rolling her blue eyes, as well as the amused grin that spread across her face as she followed him.

The hangar was relatively empty, as it usually was; there were far more starships than people present. Fives led the way down a line of shuttles and stopped in front of an older Nu-class shuttle.

The ship itself was clearly well worn, but fresh blue and orange paint adorned the cockpit and wingtips.

“Is this it?” Ahsoka asked and he nodded. Then she turned to inspect the ship. Her cerulean eyes rounded and her lips parted slightly as she examined the spacecraft. “This is actually a really nice ship,” she said, after a moment.

“It still needs a bit of work, but it’s in great condition,” Fives said and she nodded in agreement.

“Why did you want to show it to me?” she asked, turning her head to look at him. “Did you want to buy it? I know I couldn’t afford it.”

“You don’t have to.” He could no longer hold back the massive smile he’d been resisting. “It’s yours.”

“What?” She spun the rest of the way around to face him.

Instead of saying more, Fives took one of her hands and led her around to the other side of the ship. As soon as she saw what was on the hull, she gasped and her free hand flew to her mouth.

Blue, orange, and white paint was splattered across the side of the ship and, in the center of the mural, were Ahsoka’s forehead markings.

“The ship itself still needs a little work,” Fives continued. “I’ve been doing what I can, but I’m not exactly a mechanic. I was hoping you could help me with the rest.”

“Fives, I…” She was still gaping up at the vessel and the image displayed on its hull.

He pulled a small remote from his pocket and tapped a button to lower the ship’s ramp. Then he turned Ahsoka’s hand over in his, placed the remote in her palm, and curled her fingers around it. She stared at him, almost frozen, as he did so.

Fives drew in breath before speaking again. “Now you’re free to go where you want. You’re not stuck here.”

Suddenly she launched herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck. He barely had time to catch her around the waist as her body collided with his.

“Thank you, Fives,” she said into his neck, her voice thick with emotion. “This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

He leaned his cheek against her montral. “If anyone deserves it, it’s you.”

They held each other for a few more moments. Then she leaned back, but kept her hands on his shoulders, while he let his palms rest on her hips.

“You’re amazing.” Her deep, blue eyes were shining as she gazed up at him. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“Ahsoka.” He sucked in a shaky breath. He wanted to avert his gaze, but forced himself to look at her as he spoke. “I’m sorry for what I said when we were in the lab the other day… about you staying with me. That was selfish on my part. I know you’ve been feeling trapped here and I don’t want you to stay just for me, if that’s not what you want.”

To his surprise, she reached up and pulled him down so their foreheads were resting against each other.

“I told you I’m not going anywhere and I meant it,” she said softly. “I know I was struggling a bit with figuring out where I wanted to be, but everything that’s happened these past few weeks has helped me figure it out. This is where I want to be right now. And if I do leave, I hope you’ll come with me.” She leaned back to look at him again. “Sound like a plan?”

Fives’ heart was fluttering so strongly that it sent a tingling sensation through the rest of his body, to his limbs, culminating at his fingertips. He couldn’t stop himself from lifting one of his hands to stroke the side of her face.

“Any plan sounds good, as long as you’re a part of it,” he said, tracing the white chevron on her cheek with his thumb.

She was still pressed against him, so he felt her shudder at his touch and he watched as the blue on her lekku darkened several shades. He wanted to kiss her more than anything, but as incredible as this moment was… I’m going to fail her eventually.

He didn’t know when or how, but he knew it was inevitable if their relationship deepened, and he couldn’t put her through that. So instead, he pulled her in again to hug her tightly. He felt another rush of warmth when she sighed contentedly in his arms and that feeling quickly morphed into an ache of regret as he finally stepped back.

“So how in the galaxy did you afford this anyway?” Ahsoka asked, turning to stare at her ship once more.

He shrugged. “There’s a reason I’ve been working so much overtime.”

“But you didn’t know the chief was going to offer you a job until a few weeks ago.” She raised one of her white eyebrow markings.

“The original plan was to ask Rik for more hours,” he explained. “It just worked out that the opportunity with the police department came up.”

“I’m glad it did. For more reasons than this.”

Then she grabbed his hand and dragged him with her up the ramp to inspect the interior of the starship. There was the cockpit with pilot and copilot’s seats, a living area with a small table and bench, and a tiny sleeping quarters with four bunks built into the walls. Fives had wanted to give her something she could live in, if she did decide she wanted to travel more or relocate completely.

“So what are you going to name it?” he asked, as she was exploring the vessel.

Ahsoka paused her investigation to think for a moment. “Divergence,” she decided.

“Why Divergence?”

“Because that’s our story.” She walked up to him again and took his hands. “We had our futures already planned out for us, but we decided to take our own path.”

Fives supposed that was one way to look at it. He had to admit that he liked this path far more than the one the Republic had chosen for him. 

“Alright.” He squeezed her hands. “Divergence, it is then.”

Chapter Text