Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He couldn't fucking write. He couldn't fucking draw. Last thing he couldn't fucking do was sing. Was just so hard, sometimes, for a gobbo like Crusher. All he really wanted was to become a True Soul, that, and finally have a brick home instead of slaving away in hobgoblin war camps. But nooo. Nothing was ever easy for Crusher.

Except for having a crush. Crushing on Tav was easy. Stupid human thought herself queen of the world, and of course she looks the part. Long flowy silken hair, and pretty eyes like the gems he once nicked off a dwarven corpse. Price of those gems fed him and his boys for a few weeks.

So how does he end up having a crush on a stupid human like her? Easy. She smiled at him prettily and asked him for directions to Priestess Gut. Gave it to her like a pup, he did. Should've asked for coin, should've told her she could fuck right off, but he didn't. When she was done asking, Crusher figured he had been standing on his toes a moment too long, trying to look tall.

Ended up sitting near her during supper, behind her really, but near enough that he could sniff out her musk. Don't take ol’ Crusher for a pervert though, that's just the way gobbo's figure out if you're wanting a mate. Some gobbo's like to perfume their wrist using crushed flowers and herbs or the like, others who feel a little more fancy, decide to nab some luxurious oil.

Now, he took a whiff of the air and Tav damn near smelled like she wanted a mate, cause she smelled sweet-like. Deciding to test the waters, Crusher tapped her shoulder, as gentle as a gobbo could be, and she turned to him, her lips covered with a light film of grease. He decided then and there that the cook's lumpy broth had never looked better, than on her lips. Crusher had seconds that evening, for the first time.

No one can say Crusher didn't have a knack for romance, not after he picked some wild flowers for Tav. Presenting the bunch was a whole other story. She was always surrounded by others: a damn elf, another damn elf, a damn human, and another red fucking elf with horns. Wasn't that Crusher was nervous or anything, but he needed a moment alone with the lady before he could use his charms on her. Perhaps he was a little shy, but who could blame him? He's been a hunter all his life, not spending time romancing makes your skills a bit rusty with the ladies; he’s a self-proclaimed expert in pleasing them though.

“Oi, need to talk to you,” he said to Tav, keeping himself all stoic and such. It was a fine evening, the fires burnt hot, and there was plenty of booze and meat around. Crusher had taken a bath specifically for Tav, knowing how humans liked their mates prim and proper. He did find out that not brushing his mane for a few months has its draw-backs; probably broke two combs already. In all his frustration he had pulled it back in a tail. Perhaps showing off his missing ear would impress her, show her he is a real fighter, not a gobbo from the mines or kitchen's, that is, if his scarred face didn't already convince her.

“About what?” She'd asked him, her voice as sweet as nectar, her eyes shining in the firelight. She didn't scowl nor curse at him, she talked to him with respect, something he never got from other races other than his own. Made him stand a little taller and caused his heart to pound faster. Usually that only occurred when there was a hobgoblin warchief or drow around to be scared of.

“Jus’... Follow me alright? Nothing to be scared of girly, just need to speak with you between uh, us four eyes,” he said slowly, trying to keep his voice light, which wasn’t very light. He tried to smile, but his smile could only invite unease with his needle-like teeth, she didn’t seem scared of him though. The bunch of wild flowers he had plucked earlier that day were hidden behind his back. The other gobbo's were too drunk or didn't care enough to see how Crusher's hands were shaking. He was nervous alright.

Tav had followed him, her, in her light dress with gold straps, and he, in his worn leather armour, heading to the back of one of the ruined chapels, for some privacy.

“Got you eh…these flowers, found them, rather. Thought you might like ‘em.” He didn't look at her, the tip of his remaining ear as red as a beet, he handed the small bouquet over. Tav blinked a few times in surprise, accepting the gift, their fingers touching for a moment.

“Thank you, Crusher, that is very sweet of you,” she smiled at him, warmly . Crusher could be decapitated by boss Ragzlin right now and he wouldn't give a fig. He didn't remember what he said back. He probably acted like an idiot and mumbled something about feeling sick. At the time he was sure he was, the way his face felt hot. He stopped by Priestess Gut for a quick potion or some other kind of fix, but she promptly kicked his arse out. Was being stupid, she said, threatening to turn him into a toad.

His heart felt like it could stop at any moment, anytime she was around. Perhaps she was a hag of some kind, but he never saw a hag as beautiful as she; he started not minding that she might be one. 

That night he often looked at the spaces between his fingers, hers would fit perfectly between them.

Chapter Text

Crusher woke up with the usual sounds in a gobbo camp; shouting, screaming and the barking of wolves. He opened his tent, naked and all; the sun on his skin giving him the energy to get breakfast. 

“Rise ‘n shine!” He shouted, much to the dismay of the others who were preparing meals or sharpening their weapons. Nothing could ruin his day now, he tamed it as his own, like a wolf pup. He didn’t dream often, and when he did it was usually shit , but not this time no. This time it was her and her sweet hello’s and thank you’s, her white dress covered in the flowers that she took from his hands. Crusher knew his chances were slim, he wasn’t stupid. Humans hated gobbo’s and vice versa. But not her. Her and him had a chance, he believed it.

At breakfast he was looking, past the bugbears fighting over a grilled leg of mystery meat and the cook disciplining some gobbo kids for stealing food. A gobbo prioritises themselves over all things, none of them would stand up during a meal, for any reason, but here he was, standing up because he didn’t see her yet. After a moment or four he realised she wasn’t sitting at any of the tables.

“Why you standin’ around like an idiot for? Sit down,” Grat said, a fellow gobbo who was making quite some coin from selling loot he nabbed from corpses at the inn they’d raided, a few days ago.

“Shut up,” Crusher growled as he sat down, angrily spooning the drabby stew into his mouth. Maybe she slept in, maybe she liked having her beauty sleep. She wouldn’t be gone, not without saying goodbye to him, would she? She liked his flowers…

In the afternoon, she was still missing from his sight. He had gone training the younglings; teaching them how to span a crossbow, or if they were too small, how to use a slingshot to take out some orc's eye. These gobbo brats showed some cheek, and made his day even worse, but someone had to do it. Living at camp meant you had to carry your weight, no matter your age. No one will help you, that was the first lesson many goblins got taught. If no one taught them, it meant death, most of the time.

“How ‘bout you show us how to shoot then Crusher!” One snotty gobbo brat said. Crusher grunted as he snatched the weapon from the kid's hands.

“I'll show you how, brat, watch ‘n learn!” He cranked the lever and spanned the string, tossed the lever, and aimed at the flour sack in front of them. He was about to show them what he was made of, putting all his frustrations into this one shot, his eyes narrowed, and he—

He missed.

“Fuck!” He yelled, throwing the crossbow down onto the grass. Crusher usually was a good shot, not the best, but good enough to hit a stationary target. The kids laughed at him, and he growled, scaring them away. He couldn't stop thinking about Tav, he was distracted, and he never was before, not like this. Where had his sweet ladybug gone? Perhaps she didn't like flowers, not given by a gobbo anyway; and that made his gut twist.

Rest of the day, Crusher either lashed out at others or was quiet as a mole. In the evening the fires were lit while Boss Ragzlin held another speech of his for the Absolute. That was when he saw her and her unimportant companions enter through the gates, past the torches. He felt his heart thud against his ribcage, sure as hell it would jump out. He wanted to praise the Absolute, and secretly even Maglubiyet; she hadn’t left after all. Couldn’t just walk up to her though, he had to play uninterested. Didn’t want to scare her right off the bat.

Was then that he saw other gobbo’s bow as she walked past.

“True Soul Tav,” one greeted. Crusher’s mouth fell open, his small eyes wide.

Mighty booyagh. His heart sank, much deeper than when he and his boys bound an orc with a large rock and rolled his arse off the dock. Was no way he could ever get to her now, no way he could approach her without paying his respects to her. He meandered through the other soldiers, trying to take a peek at her. Long hair braided onto her back, her eyes bright, her pink lips curled up. For a while Crusher just looked, not sure what he was supposed to do. She was now even more higher up than she already had been. Didn’t treat the soldiers as lesser though; even the ones who deserved the treatment she was kind to.

Crusher took a mug and filled it with lukewarm beer before sitting near a fire pit, watching her. She was talking to her companions, sometimes to other gobbo’s as she herself sat down near the bonfire. The gobbo needed an excuse to talk to her, especially now that she was elevated, much more than he was. Didn’t want to bow down to her though, she’d never see him as a proper strong lad if he did that.

He walked by her a few times, pretending to shoo away a wolf pet, or get another piece of meat pie, which he gobbled down quickly, until he finally stood still in front of her. Her peers were sitting near her, and Crusher, the poor gobbo, felt the blood creep up to his face. Luckily for him, no one would see at this time of night.

“So eh… None of these idiots offer you a drink yet?” he said. They were of similar height now that she was sitting. She was even more fucking beautiful than he thought. Smiling at him, making his heart jump and such. Nothing he could do about it. Maybe she was a hag, a rare one, one that was kind to gobbo’s.

“What drink do you recommend then, Crusher?” she replied with a smile. The way she had said his name inspired him to write a thousand poetries, and he couldn’t even fucking write. His scarred lips parted, his mind racing before he answered. Crusher never really thought before speaking, but she inspired that in him, making him all intellectual and such. 

“They serve only piss in barrels ‘round here, you find the real good ones in tents, stowed away. I can nab a barrel for you if you want,” He offered, smirking, all confident-like.The firelight flickered on her skin, his narrowed eyes locking on hers. He never understood expressions like ‘ getting lost in one's eyes ’, before he had looked into hers.

“I don’t want you to steal a barrel for me, thank you though,” Tav let out a giggle, was better than any godsdamn melody any bard could’ve played. He pissed on human morals, couldn’t give less of a fig about stealing. Is all fair game if a gobbo finds it anyhow. But her morals, he couldn’t piss on. Crusher wanted to please her, didn’t want to disagree with her, wanted to keep making her laugh and giggle, play her little tune, just for him. 

“How ‘bout I bring some of mine, eh? Don’t just tell anyone this, they’ll take me other ear if they heard, True Soul,” Crusher whispered, leaning a bit forward, but not too close. After you eat the cook’s meat pie, you better not be kissing anyone.

Tav didn’t move away, she seemed amused. Expected nothing less of a True Soul, she wasn’t intimidated by him or his rough manners. Is not that he wanted her to be intimidated to begin with, he wanted her to swoon because of him.

“Please, Tav is fine, no need for titles. And of course, I shan’t tell a soul,” she whispered back. He took a step back, it was as if her whisper punched his gut. He was utterly confused, not sure what he was feeling. Warm, bit bothered, afraid and helpless. He didn’t like feeling helpless, but she could ask him to do anything and he would, True Soul or not.

“Alright, alright, not one for titles, eh? Don’t want you movin’ from here, I’ll bring you a flagon, to share with your peers.” He took a deep breath, walking backwards, a big grin on his face. 

“Stay ‘ere!” Crusher said as he moved away. He could see her companions laughing, teasing her like, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want her to fly off again.

Gobbo’s didn’t easily share, they were greedy folk. Who could blame them? If all the worlds seemed stacked against you, out for your death no matter what you personally did, you wouldn’t be some stupid goody-two-shoes. Good or na, a hammer strikes your skull the same way, so might as well enjoy it while your short life lasts. Perhaps this was the first time he ever felt like he could be a little better, change his ways, in a way.

When he stood in front of his tent, he took a moment to catch his breath after running, didn’t like to make the lady wait. But he wanted to say it , no one was around to call him a love-struck fool if he did.

“Tav,” he whispered, saying her name felt right to him.

Chapter Text

Crusher was diving deep into the trinkets he had stashed away for selling. Saw a few things he might gift her; pretty necklaces, fancy rings and some frilly nonsense he hadn’t figured out the use of yet. Perhaps he should sell the stuff instead, buy her a proper necklace, respect her morals and such, as she didn’t like stealing, she said.

He shoved the trinkets out of the way, and found the empty flagon, and uncorked it. The smell of stale wine hit his large nose as he scowled. Couldn’t serve her barrel wine in this stinking piece of shit. He could easily handle it, but he knew humans were frail. He growled in frustration. He had to wash it somehow, and river water was out of the question. Can’t remember the amount of times he had to puke after drinking from it. Not to mention the soldiers that peed and shat into the river. Would he just give her the whole barrel then? Why the fuck not, generosity is a virtue humans gobbled up like oatmeal, she better appreciate it though.

“Why the fock is this so heavy— Tnak !” He was dragging the barrel out of his tent, half his height, full of wine too. Crusher was blessed with good strength though, having held a weapon since he was just a brat himself, but this thing probably weighed as much as he did or more. No matter; with a growl he pulled it out of the tent, dragging it through the grass. Luckily the sun had been shining for days, or else he’d be having to drag it through the mud. 

When he finally got back with his barrel, boss Ragzlin had retreated into the temple, followed by the important folks. Only one of the True Souls was still sitting there: Tav. She had remained on the stool, near the bonfire, waiting for him. He was breathing heavily still, sweat pooling underneath his leather armour. He ran his clawed fingers through his messy hair, trying to smooth the matted mess before he presented her with the barrel. 

What human would do that, wait for a gobbo like him? Sure, Crusher had confidence, but he was not stupid like the pariahs to think that a human could ever respect him. Was one of the reasons he followed the Absolute too, if he got to be a True Soul, he could trample over all the other races that looked down on him and his fellows, torture them like, make them understand what they had to go through.

But not her. She was alright. Could never harm the little ladybug, na, he would keep her safe.

With a huff, he dragged the barrel to her. He looked up at her with his lopsided grin, the burns he had gotten had left his face a bit damaged, couldn’t smile properly. Didn’t give a worg’s behind about it, but he didn’t want her thinking he was damaged goods.

“I thought you were bringing a flagon, yet here you are with a whole barrel!” Tav laughed, clapping her hands in glee. His eyes softened a little, dragging that shitty barrel was well worth it now. 

“A cup would’ve been fine, really,” she said, her eyes catching the firelight in them. She said some more things, but Crusher had no clue what she had said. Was lost in her eyes , as the softskins say. Look at him now, using fancy human expressions. 

Problem was, she asked something, and was waiting for a reply. Only thing Crusher could do was tilt his head all stupid like and react as if he was hit on the head.

“Wot?” Raised one corner of his upper lip as if he smelled something foul. Cursed himself for it, he did, but once the cream is out of the udder, there’s no use squirting it back up.

“I uh… meant, what did you say?” he said slowly, pronouncing each and every word as properly as he could. Hoped he could still save it, thought himself a fucking idiot.

“I said, thank you Crusher, you’re very kind. First flowers, now a whole barrel of wine,” she  said, eyeing him curiously. Felt like he was caught stealing for the first time all over again. Was she figuring it out, that he was sweet on her this whole time? He didn’t think he had been that obvious. Perhaps a little.

“Is it because I am a True Soul?” Tav asked. He scowled immediately. No, no, no! He didn’t want her thinking that. He didn’t know she was a damn True Soul before he got taken by her, she was just a pretty damn thing, is all. Nice smells, nice smiles and kind too.

“Nah, yer wrong. Am just a nice gobbo to all me mates at camp,” he lied.

“Just making sure ya feel welcomed. Can imagine a frail lady such as yerself feelin’ a bit out o’ place here, eh?” He leaned against the barrel, trying to look all unbothered and such.

His heart was pounding though, figuring he should pour her a mug before she questioned him any further, before she found out that one look of hers could turn him into a plate of soft boiled mashed potatoes.

On the table next to her he could see a book. Seemed like she could read, he liked a smart woman. Didn’t expect anything less of his tastes; couldn’t just give his heart out to anyone.

“Roight, but I promised ye a taste of the fine vintage, didn’t I?” He said with his chest puffed out. Next to the book he saw an empty mug of hers. He almost grabbed it, but he stopped when he noticed something stuck between the pages.

“Got some dirt between yer pages, lemme get that for you,” Crusher said. His fat fingers wedged themselves between the pages, opening up the book.

“ Nying… ” he muttered in Ghukliak, the goblin tongue. His voice soft, a rarity. Normally his grating tone could make stone masons lose their jobs. Wasn’t dirt, but the small bunch of wildflowers he had given her, dried and pressed. He swallowed hard. Was just a bundle of weeds to him, nothing he expected to see back, but she had kept them. Was the first time he ever felt appreciated, without him having to beat it out of someone.

“It’s not dirt, it’s the flowers you gave to me. I figured I could dry and press them so they last longer. Then I thought they would make for an excellent bookmark,” Tav said. She couldn’t see his fumbled expression, only his back. He closed the book, and took the mug next to it, turning towards her. Must’ve been something on his face, because her expression changed a little, smiling still, but there was something else .

A gobbo never concealed their feelings; they just threw a fist or fucked you behind their huts, depending on how they were feeling. 

None of them had to read complex expressions; you’re either happy, sad, angry, lustful, angry and lustful, or all of the above if you were a weirdo. Crusher never messed with the latter gobbo’s. Whatever she showed him, he didn’t understand. She was smiling, so he was probably doing good, right?

“Right, the flowers eh, nothin’ special.” He shrugged, his lop-sided grin returning. 

“Could pluck more of ‘em if you like. Don’t think you’re special or nothin’! Do this for all guests at our camp ‘fcourse. All to keep the followers of the Absolute happy, ye catch me?” Whilst talking, he was filling her mug with wine from the tap. Tav seemed to be enjoying their talk, and he was doing that, Crusher was damn proud of it. He kept pouring, the mug half-full.

"Oh, that's enough wine—really—it’s almost spilling—okay…” Tav said, holding her hands up whilst laughing. Crusher couldn’t give her a half empty mug, that would be ungenerous of him. He was a generous gobbo, not usually, but for her he would be.

“You ain’t a lightweight are ya?” He handed her the drink, and she accepted it with both her hands. The wine nearly spilled out of the mug, he had filled it to the brim. Tav hunched over and pursed her lips to take a sip. This had to be the first time Crusher ever wished to be a mug in his life, feel her soft pretty lips against his.

“I am afraid my drinking capacity will disappoint you,” she said, her lips pressed against the rim still, as she took another sip.

“It’s… very sweet, I like it, you have good taste.” Crusher was watching her drink, and he crossed his arms, feeling the leather press against his sweaty skin. 

“Roight, my taste is uh, impeccable , as yer folks say. So…” he started, his eyes looking away for a moment, eyeing the remaining gobbo’s who stuck around for another drink or twenty. 

“Dun get too drunk, or these rowdy bunch of idiots will try to take advantage of yer pretty face,” He looked straight into her eyes. Crusher wasn’t afraid of telling her exactly how pretty she was, didn’t mean nothing, was a fact, objectivity and all that shite. Tav rose her brows at his compliment.

“Are you worried for me now?” She grinned, her cheeks starting to flush because of the wine. Crusher grinned back, flashing his sharp teeth.

“Worried? Me? Hah! Last thing I’ll ever do is worry about a damn human of all things. Keep on dreamin’ girly, jus’ dun want any blame on me arse after a drunk True Soul gets dragged off into some gobbo’s tent,” He crossed his arms. Yes, he was worried, she seemed like the clueless type. Mainly because she was giving Crusher the time of day, and he knew he wasn’t the kindest looking gobbo, meaning she had to be naive.

Tav looked down into her mug for a moment, she seemed to like the drink, and while she claimed to be a lightweight, she drank too fast for his liking. Woman was going to be drunk before he could spell her name, not that he could, but figuratively speaking.

“My companions are here somewhere, I will be fine, and no blame will befall you Crusher, I promise,” she said. Tav swayed her legs for a moment, and it was adorable. He never found things adorable. He fucking hated cute things to begin with, useless, all of it. Didn’t care for litter of kittens or squirrels. Only mattered if he gained something from them, but Tav? Tav was cute, in a way he could appreciate. He groaned audibly when he saw her take a big sip. She liked it a little too much. Why the fuck would he trust her stupid companions who were nowhere to be seen. Na, this was his time to shine. Crusher, the gobbo knight in shoining armour!

“Oi, that’s ‘nough now, give it ‘ere” he tried to take the mug from her hands, but instead, he knocked it, the wine spilling over her pretty white dress. She gasped in surprise, placing the mug on the table. Crusher felt his gut twist. He had gone and fucked it up now.