Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Usually, vampires are written as humans in works of fiction, and when seen in the world of Ninjago– they're also usually humans, with pale skin and long fangs and pointed ears, but still with flesh and bone just like (mostly) everyone else!

Besides one specific vampire.

Zane, the ever-loving cook of the team, with all his robotic body parts and horrible detection of social cues, is a vampire.

Being hard-coded into his system to take in blood as sustenance and an alternative energy source, makes him a vampire by definition. What further backs it up are his fangs, longer than a normal human and able to suck blood from any living thing he latches onto, and his pointy ears, although they never actually affect any of his hearing capabilities (which are already way above average, considering he's a robot first, vampire second). He thinks they were just an aesthetic choice made by his father.

Zane never genuinely questioned why he was built the way he was, but he thinks it might have to do with how pale his father was.. And his fangs... And the pointy ears–

Yeah okay, his dad was a vampire.

And as a result of not knowing that much earlier on in his life, there were some moments where he… didn't quite make sense to the rest of his teammates.

–

Jay was not an early bird in the slightest, but he always managed to get dragged into waking up early with everybody else, sharing a room and all.

With a yawn tugging at his lips and half-open eyes, he made his way out of their shared room into the hall and towards the bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for the day.

It was too early for training, he remembered complaining about it to everyone their first day here– and the next, and literally every day after because Master Wu was some sort of wizard, he swears! It's the beard, just look at the bea–

" Good morning, Jay. "

Jay shrieked, stopping his inner monologue at the bathroom door, one leg up and arms in the air in self-defense. Once he realized it was just Zane, he opted to put his limbs back down and frown at his roommate, because getting jumpscared half-asleep at 5 AM was not fun! " Good morning to you too, Zane. " He sighs, dropping next to Zane at the bathroom counter and grabbing his toothbrush and the toothpaste tube, opening it up and placing some on his toothbrush like he always doe–

What.

…

What?!

He looks back and forth between Zane and the mirror, watching the other spit out his toothpaste and begin rinsing out his mouth of the leftover toothpaste like absolutely nothing was wrong.

Jay blinks, drops his toothbrush on the counter, rubs his eyes harshly, looks back at the mirror then at Zane multiple times in shock, agape mouth, bug eyes, everything. Looking completely bamboozled by what he's seeing.

" Am I dreaming..? " he mutters to himself and watches silently as Zane washes his face, dries it with his towel, and walks out of the bathroom with little to no reaction to whatever had just occurred. Did he not notice? He literally didn't have a reflection?!

Jay blinks a couple more times, looks back at the mirror, stares at his own reflection in it, and pinches himself to make sure he's not dreaming.

" I should... just get more sleep. Yeah, that's it. "

–

Another night, another shared dinner between all of them made by none other than Zane.

Hearing the chatter and laughter coming from the other room with everyone else whilst Zane cooked made him feel warm in his little robot heart, even if he couldn't tell if it was just from the flames he was using to cook or not. Regardless, he felt happy, no more lies, no more questions.

After the events that transpired a few hours ago, and finding out about his very-not-human build and ancestry, the rest of his friends didn't treat him any different and reassured him that he's still Zane, their teammate, their friend, regardless of his weird vampire-robot hybrid body that he resides in, and has been residing in for decades.

It was a very heartwarming conversation, but even then, he was glad he gets to be alone right now, with his thoughts and thinking about what he wants to do with the recently discovered information, and how he wants to feel about it. No more questions, no more lies.

He focused his eyes on the cutting board in front of him, chopping up some carrots and onions for the slowly heating pan on the stove before a pair of footsteps was heard approaching the kitchen doorway. Alone moment over, it seems.

" Hey! Zane. How's it going? " Zane perked up, turning his head and making eye contact with Cole over his shoulder. " Hello, Cole. Nothing is going on, just preparing dinner. "

Cole made his way closer to where Zane was and peeked over his shoulder at what he was cutting up. At the face Cole made, Zane raised an eyebrow. " What is so conflicting about garlic, Cole? Do you not like it? I could've sworn I added some to other dishes before… "

" Nono! That's not the issue at all, it's just… Uh. aren't you a vampire or something? Isn't garlic meant to hurt you or.. ? " Cole mumbled and didn't continue his sentence, realizing how stupid he sounded, but was genuinely asking.

Zane smiled, turning to grab the bottle of oil off the counter as he talked– " One, garlic doesn't hurt me. And two, that's actually a mistranslation from the original Dracula. Vampires aren't allergic to garlic itself, but the flower where it originates from. Now that would hurt me. " Ever the encyclopedia, Zane explained the misinterpretation, pouring a sufficient amount of oil into the pan and letting it heat up to a correct temperature.

" What? You mean to tell me one of the most commonly known facts about vampires is a complete mistake? "

Zane nodded, moving to hover the cutting board over the pan to drop in his freshly diced garlic into it, hearing it sizzle.

" My life is a lie. "

Cole walked out of the kitchen and back into the other room where he came from, and Zane quietly chuckled at his reaction.

–

" So you just kinda bypass the sunlight thing because you're a robot? " Kai asks, as they both sit outside to train, directly in the sun's bright beams.

" Yes. which, come to think of it, kind of makes me a more traditional vampire. "

" What do you mean? "

" Back in the day, Vampires weren't ever really harmed by sunlight like we see today. But over the centuries they devolved to become less sun tolerant and the sun began doing much more damage to the skin than a rash or something similar. "

Kai made a face that said 'oohhh' and Zane smiled at his reaction, " But yes, it means I get to be in the sun all I want because I'm not actively a human with sensitive skin. "

" Our skin isn't sensitive! "

" Can you compare to a nindroid? "

–

Due to his vampirism, Zane is kind of forced to drink blood as his main energy source.

Even though he doesn't mind the taste at all, or the texture. It's a very delicate taste that he thoroughly enjoys, regardless of where it comes from. So he's never complained.

On usual days, he goes with animal blood directly from the source. On others, he prefers the bagged stuff that the ninja acquires for him on occasion and keeps it refrigerated. It isn't common that he gets human blood straight from the source either, as he feels bad taking it from his friends– and is horrified by the idea of taking it from strangers. He's had to explain to the rest of his friends on multiple occasions that they won't end up well by the end of it– because as you could imagine, taking blood out of a human being in any way is bad for them, or at the very least won't be comfortable. How he, a robot vampire, understands this better than them, humans, he doesn't know.

The bagged blood stays in their fridge and can last him a while, so he's never had trouble acquiring any food for himself if anything were to happen to the outside wildlife, that is.

Zane also doesn't find himself getting 'hungry' that often anyway (something about being a robot?), but he likes the illusion of free choice.

Zane isn't immune to midnight snacks, however, and he's been seen once or twice by his other housemates in the kitchen with blood on his mouth and… let's just say he's caused some nightmares to a couple of his friends because of it.

…

Cole steps into the kitchen and turns on the light, looking to look through their snack drawer for something to eat as a small midnight snack.

His eyes slowly get more accustomed to the sudden light, and he can make out a figure in front of the fridge, staring right back at him with wide eyes. He slowly registers the blood on them and–

" WHAT THE– Zane?! "

" Hello… it's just bagged blood, I promise."

–

After looking into other cultures for dinner one night, Zane figured out the other alternative ways that you can cook with blood!

Being himself, he looked into them and tried to either replicate or find them the next time he went grocery shopping.

He's happy to report having tried and liked many, including blood tofu, blood sausages, blood pudding, and more, and even got the others to try some as well, albeit with hesitancy, but their reactions were very satisfied once they tried them at last.

Zane slowly added the different dishes to his meal plan that week, and the weeks after that followed.

–

" Hey, Zane? " Jay snickers.

" Yes? "

" What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? "

Zane raises an eyebrow. " What do you get? "

Jay smirks as he responds, "Frostbite."

Zane frowns, but then immediately after–

Nya comes up from behind him, " Hey, Zane! What do you get when you cross a vampire and a laptop? "

Zane only gives her a blank facial expression, not entertaining her with an answer back.

" Love at first byte! "

Jay laughs from beside them, " Ha! Good one! "

" Thanks! "

" Hey Zane– Why did the vampire start a tech company? "

" Hey Zane, Why did the vampire take up knitting? "

" Hey, Zane! "

" Zane!! "

" Wait! Zane! Where are you going? " Jay yelled after him, " We aren't done yet!! "