Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The group (minus Mike who took fucking forever to get out of class) sat at their usual lunch table, the buzz of the school cafeteria a constant hum in the background. Will picked at his tray of food, lost in thought.

It was senior year now, their last year in the shithole they call Hawkins before they were all leaving for New York together.

"You're a virgin aren't you Will?" Max half-asked, already knowing the answer was yes. She was trying to make El feel better about still being a virgin after El had heard Lucas,Dustin and Max had all lost theirs already.

"What? No." Will answered defensively.

The group looked at him, surprise etched on their faces.

Lucas pat him on the back “you dont have to lie man its fine”

Will chuckled, confused.

"I'm not lying” He defended.

“yeah why would will lie about that?” Dustin added, and Will shot him a grateful look.

Max nodded, her curiosity piqued as she smirked. “So who was the lucky boy that got to dick down with our dear will the wise?”

Dustin made a gagging sound and El giggled.

"Don't say 'dicking down'" The curly haired boy piped.

Max laughed before they all turned their attention back to Will, expecting an answer.

Will felt his cheeks redden as he thought back to the bar three years ago. He was 15 when he had met this guy Alex,  he was older but he was sweet from what Will can remember, it's all a bit hazy seeing how they weren't really all that sober when it happened, all Will remembers is waking up in a bed that wasn't his with a pain worse then hell and the smell of fresh pancakes as Alex cooked him breakfast. Alex was lucky, Will remembers thinking, he was so bright and happy while Will had the worst hangover known to man. He remembers realising that maybe sex wasn’t for him, that maybe sex wasn’t all that everyone made it out to be, that maybe no one really enjoyed it as much as they said.

"Just some guy," Will said trying to play it cool, hoping to brush off the conversation. But Max wasn't having it, she leaned in closer, eyes sparkling with gossip.

"Some guy? You lost your virginity to 'just some guy?'” She asked, a confused smile on her face.

In the 5 years Max had known Will, she knew it was safe to say that didn't sound like Will, and the confused looks mirrored on Lucas, Dustin and El's faces, it only confirmed the odd behaviour further.

Lucas shifts in his seat, "Where'd you meet this Prince Charming Will?" He teases, trying to lighten up the situation.

Will shrugs, "It was at a bar, that queer one just outside town." He admits, giving Lucas a weary smile.

"A bar?" El asks, her brows furrowing. "But we are not allowed in bars."

"He snuck in." Dustin explains and El makes an 'ah' sound as she nods.

"Wait wait wait, you met at a bar?" Max asks, her eyes widening in surprise slightly.

Will nods "Mhm" he hums.

Dustin gestures his curly fry between Max and Lucas

"How old were you guys when you lost your virginities? I was 17 when me and Suzie did it." He says, throwing the fry in his mouth.

"Dude isn't Suzie Mormon?" Lucas asks, narrowing his eyes at Dustin.

"Yeah, so?" Dustin retorts, his cheeks reddening.

"We were 16." Max explains, throwing a smile at Lucas.

"How bout' you Will?" Dustin asks, throwing another fry in his mouth.

Will clears his throat, "15," he mumbles, his cheeks growing redder by the second.

The table falls silent. Even the cafeteria noise seems to hush in Wills ears as his friends stare at him in astonishment. The revelation of Will's secret hangs in the air like a thick fog, obscuring the easy banter that had been there moments before.

"15?" Max repeats, her voice a whisper.

"Holy shit man." Dustin adds and El jabs his side at her brothers defence.

"What? It's not a big deal." Will says defensively, his eyes darting around the group, hoping they weren't judging him.

"Wait wait wait," Lucas starts, his hands clearing an invisible fog.

"So you were 15, under the influence and slept with 'some guy' ?"

Will nodded, feeling his face heat up even more. He took a deep breath and said,

"Yeah, his uh, his name was Alex he was really nice," Will defends "At least I think he was?" He tries to joke but it falls flat.

The group exchanges concerned glances, the lightness of the conversation dissipating into the air. Max's eyes soften, and she reaches out to put a hand on Will's arm. "Will how old was he?"

Will chuckled uncomfortably,

“Jesus, can we please stop talking about my sex life?” He laughs nervously.

Lucas rubs his eyes stressfully.

“No! not if you’ve been fucking assaulted Will!” He suddenly snaps, a little louder then he meant.

The whole table turns to face him, shocked by Lucas's sudden voice of what they were all thinking, well apart from El, she was quite confused right now but decided to stay quiet.

"What do you mean Lucas?" Will asks, his voice low and serious.

"Well, you were underage, drunk, and apparently didn't even know the guy. That doesn't exactly scream 'consensual' to me," Lucas responds, his voice filled with concern.

Will's eyes widen, the reality of the situation sinking in.

"It wasn't like that, we were both drunk..." The hangover, Alex's lack of one, the pain all through his body, the cut lip...fuck.

Lucas' words hit him like a ton of bricks. Will had never considered it that way before. It was a blurry night, one filled with whispers and the sticky feeling of regret that had haunted him since. But assault? No, it couldn't be.

The cafeteria chatter faded away as Will felt a lump form in his throat. His eyes filled with tears, and before he could stop them, they began to spill over, rolling down his cheeks and dropping onto the cold lunch tray in front of him. His friends' faces morphed into a blurry mess of concern and confusion.

"Will, are you okay?" El asked tentatively, her hand reaching out to comfort him.

Will took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. "I... I don't know." His voice was shaky, the weight of Lucas's words still pressing down on him.

"What's going on here?" Mike's boisterous voice cut through the tension, as he slammed his backpack down on the table, finally joining the group after his prolonged class.

"Mike, we were just talking about-" Dustin began, but Mike cut him off with a glare.

"What the fuck did you do Lucas?" Mike narrows his eyes at Lucas, pushing between Max to get to Will.

"Lucas didn't do anything Mike it's a complicated situation." Max warns.

"No shit Sherlock, but my best friend is sitting here in tears and no ones helping!" Mike retorts, still glaring at Lucas.

"Mike stop it's fine, it wasn't Lucas." Will mumbled but Mike ignored him, fighting his arms around Will and turning to yell at Lucas some more.

"What the fuck did you say to him? Why is he crying?"

Hands on him, everyone at the table watching, hands on him, he's not being listened to, they're treating him like a child, hands on him-

"Mike get off!" Will snaps, standing abruptly.

Mike looks up at the brunette with a mix of hurt and confusion, his hands falling to his sides. "What? You're mad at me for being worried about you?"

Max scoffs "This isn't fucking about you Mike." She snaps.

Her and Mike continue to bicker but Will blurs it out, just like he blurs out the concerned looks from Dustin,Lucas and El, just like he blurs out the stares of people around the cafeteria as he continues to stand.

He's angry, he's hurt, he's confused. But most of all, he's scared. It was three years ago...and he was scared.

Will's heart is racing, his fists clenched at his sides. The cafeteria buzzes around him, but he tunes it out, focusing on the sensation of anger and fear coursing through his veins. He tries to remember what he was thinking at the time, but it's all muddled up with the whispers and the sticky feeling of regret. He doesn't want to be the kid who gets taken away, who everyone looks at differently.

"I gotta go." He blurts out, slinging his bag over his shoulder suddenly and dashing out the cafeteria, ignoring his friends cries for him to come back.

The bathroom is empty, the stalls all locked, the sinks abandoned. Will hurries to the farthest corner, where a few of the sinks have been propped open to reveal the dirty ceramic underneath. He crouches down, digging into his pocket and retrieving a crumpled pack of cigarettes. His hands shake as he fumbles with the filter, the paper crackling against his fingers. Finally, he manages to light the end of the cigarette, taking a long drag that makes him cough. The harsh smoke fills his lungs, making him feel a little less trapped.

He leans against the sink, staring at the graffiti-covered wall in front of him. The names and initials and obscene drawings swim before his eyes, blending together in a haze of red and black. He tries to remember when he first started smoking, if it was before or after the final battle. He doesn't know anymore.

"Hey."

Will glances over his shoulder, startled out of his thoughts. Max stands in the doorway, hands shoved in her pockets, her expression a mix of concern and frustration. He takes another drag of his cigarette, feeling a twinge of guilt at the thought of her seeing him like this.

"Willing to share?" She asks, gesturing to the cigarette.

"Always," Will smiles wryly, holding the lit cigarette out to her.

She steps into the bathroom, taking the cigarette with a nod of thanks. They stand in silence for a moment, sharing the smoke between them.

"So," Max says finally, breaking the quiet.

"So." Will agrees.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." Max says, her voice barely above a whisper as she hands the cigarette back to him.

Will takes another drag, exhaling slowly. "Let's not do the whole 'I should have been there' thing," he pauses "Please. i mean max you were in a coma for fucks sake.” his voice breaks.

When he was taken to the upside down the first time everyone did that, said they'd be there -but they weren't. They just treated him like he could break at any moment and then left him when it was no longer convenient for them. It's selfish to say that, he knows. But it happened every time.

So when Max steps forward, her arms wrapping around him in a tight hug, he tenses up. His body goes stiff, his muscles clenched. But she doesn't let go. She just holds him there, her warmth seeping into him, and for a moment he feels like he can breathe again.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, her voice muffled against his shoulder. "I'm sorry Lucas yelled, I'm sorry I pushed for an answer, I'm sorry that whole thing just happened, I'm sorry this whole fucked up situation just got dumped on you."

Will doesn't know what to say. She's right, of course she's right. He's just so tired of being the kid with the burden, the kid everyone feels sorry for. But as her words sink in, he feels something shift inside him. He stops resisting, lets himself lean into her a little, feels the weight of everything lift, even just a little bit.

"It was my fault," he whispers, his voice hoarse from smoke and emotion. "I shouldn't have done it."

Max pulls back to look him in the eyes.

"Will," she starts firmly. "This is not your fucking fault."

Her words cut through the fog in Will's mind, making him flinch. Max has never talked to him like that before, with such certainty and anger. It's like she's trying to fight for him, even though he's not sure if he deserves it.

"Yeah but I was naive about it," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "I mean I should have fucking realised."

Max shakes her head, "You were fifteen, drunk and probably didn't even know what was happening. That's not your fault."

She hugs him again and this time, he hugs back.

they stand like that for several minutes, crying together, before Will breaks the silence again.

"He was 34."

The words hang in the air like a lead balloon, heavy and suffocating. Max's grip on Will tightens, her eyes widening in shock and horror.

"What?" She whispers, her voice trembling.

Will nods, the tears rolling down his cheeks.

"He was. I saw his license on the table the next day, it's the only way I remembered his name."

"Do you..." Max starts cautiously "Do you remember his name?" She finally asks. "Like his full name?"

Will nods, though it's been three years, how could he ever forget.

"Alex Kline," he says, his voice empty.

Max's eyes widen, and she pulls back to look at Will, her grip loosening slightly.

"Will," she says, her voice shaking. "We have to tell someone. That's not okay."

Will shrugs

"It was three years ago, we met at an illegal queer bar and I can't even prove we actually had sex because I can't remember anything."

Max's expression shifts from horror to disbelief, "But that's-"

"I know it's not okay," Will interrupts, his voice hardening. "But there's nothing we can do."

Max looks at him, her eyes searching his, trying to understand the depth of his pain. She doesn't push, she knows Will well enough to know when he's reached his limit. Instead, she pulls them out the shitty bathrooms and out the school building all together.

Before Will knows it, they're in her car.

Max pulls out of the school parking lot, her eyes fixed on the road ahead. They don't speak for a while, the only sound being the murmur of the engine and the occasional sniffle from Will. The cigarette smell lingers in the air, a grim reminder of the conversation they had just had.

"Where are we going?" He asks, smiling wearily.

"The quarry, I feel like a swim." She explains, drumming her fingers on the dashboard to the radio while she drives.

Will laughs

"Are you crazy? It's so cold." He chuckles. It's spring at the moment, but the days fluctuate between freezing and overheating in Hawkins.

"I heard it's like cleansing of some shit, good for the soul." She explains.

Her words make him laugh, but he nods, not arguing. He needs this, needs to feel something other than the burning in his chest right now.

Chapter Text

He gets home in the evening. Max dropped Will off after they'd spent the rest of their day swimming in their underwear in the cold and screaming at the rocky shore.

"Thank you," Will says quietly as he gets out of the car, his teeth chattering from the cold.

Max nods, her eyes never leaving his. "Call me if you need anything, okay?"

Will nods, "Thanks Max."

He shuts the car door and heads inside, the chilly spring air hitting him like a slap in the face. The house is quiet, just the sound of the TV from the living room echoing down the hallway. Will can't face his mom right now, not with the storm of emotions swirling inside him. He makes his way to his room silently, his steps feeling heavier with each passing second.

And there Mike is, sitting on his bed, his elbows propped up on his knees, his face etched with worry. Will stops in the doorway, surprised by the sight of his friend. Mike looks up, his eyes red-rimmed and his expression tight.

"Where the hell where you?" Mike snaps, standing up.

Will sighs and closes the bedroom door behind him.

"Mike, what are you doing here?" Will smiles wearily, trying to keep his voice steady.

Mike ignores his question,

"Where did you go after lunch? You and Max just fucking disappeared after that whole...thing."

"We went to the quarry" Will says, avoiding eye contact as he shuffles past Mike to hang his jacket on the back of his chair.

Mike looks at him with a mix of anger and concern.

"The fuck Will? Why? You scared the shit out of me."

Will turns to face Mike, the exhaustion etched on his face.

"I needed space."

Mike scoffs

"Space? Will what wrong? You used to tell me everything." The ravenettes voice breaks as he speaks.

Will sighs, narrowing his eyes at the floor in annoyance off Mikes persistence, Its not like Mike told him everything, the existence of Hellfire came as a massive surprise so why does Mike suddenly care? He doesn't know where to start, so he just says it.

"Apparently I was fucking raped okay?." Will says harshly "Are you happy now? There, the secrets up, you know now, so does everyone in our friends group."

Mike's face falls, his anger dissolving into utter grief.

"What?" He whispers, his voice hoarse.

Will laughs bitterly, wiping away the tears that start to form in his eyes with the back of his hand.

"And the stupidest part of it all is that Lucas had to be the one to tell me. I was too naive to fucking realise on my own."

Mike stares at Will, his heart racing in his chest. He opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. He feels like he's been punched in the gut. Will, his best friend, had been through hell again and Mike hadn't been there when he needed him. Fuck, he didn't even know Will had lost his virginity!

"Will, I'm so sorry," Mike whispers, his voice cracking. "I had no idea."

Will laughs harshly again, openly sobbing now. "Yeah, well, neither did i."

He sags against the wall, his legs giving out beneath him as he slides down to the floor. The tears come unbidden, hot and heavy.

"Will," Mike says, his voice cracking. He moves to sit beside him, not knowing what to do. He feels helpless, like he's failed his best friend in the worst way possible.

Will shakes his head, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "It's not your fault."

"It's not yours either." Mike whispers, his voice hoarse with unshed tears.

And then, without another word, Mike pulls Will into a fierce hug, his arms wrapping around the smaller boy's shoulders and squeezing tight. Will stiffens for a moment, surprised by the sudden contact, before he melts into it. The two of them sit there, on the floor of Will's bedroom, holding onto each other like it's the only thing keeping them afloat.

Mike's heart is racing, thumping in his chest like a drum. He's so fucking mad, mad at the person who did it, mad at the world, mad at himself for not being there when Will needed him. But most of all, he's just sad. Sad that Will, who Mike would move heaven and earth for, had to go through something so fucked up alone, again.

They sit there for what feels like an eternity, the only sounds being Will's quiet sobs and their shallow breaths. Mike doesn't know what to say, so he just holds on tighter.

"You're not going to tell anyone, are you?" Will asks, his voice muffled against Mike's shoulder.

Mike pulls back to look him in the eyes, "Will, you know I would never-"

But Will cuts him off with a firm shake of his head. "I know Mike, but I can't...I just can't do it again. I can't be the kid who went missing, who's been bullied, who's a fucking liability." His voice is shaky, his eyes pleading.

Mike nods, his throat tight. He knows this is a bad time, a fucking selfish thing to do, when Will is so vulnerable and in need of his best friend but he can't help it. He'd been planning to tell Will how he felt today, that's why he'd been so mad when Will and Max had fucked off to the quarry for the rest of the day, but now? Knowing why? Mike had never been more grateful for the redheaded girl.

Will had always been a giver between the two, Mike always the receiver, the taker. But right now? Will needed Mike to offer it, give him the affection he needed.

So, before he can stop himself, Mike finds himself blurting out the words he never could to El.

"I love you."

The words hang in the air, unspoken, but Mike can feel them pressing against his lips. He's been carrying this burden for so long, the love he feels for Will, and in this moment of vulnerability, it feels like the right time to finally let it out. But what if it makes things worse? What if it complicates things? What if this wasn't what Will needed right now? To juggle this trauma and Mikes feelings? shit.

But Will's eyes are on him, wide and wet with tears, searching for something. Mike can't find the right words to say, so he does the only thing he can think of. He leans in, his heart pounding like a bass drum in his chest, and kisses Will gently on the forehead. It's a gesture of comfort, of support, but it feels like so much more.

Will's breath hitches, his body going rigid for a moment before he relaxes into Mike's embrace. He looks up, his eyes searching Mike's, looking for any sign of doubt or pity. But all he sees is genuine concern and affection.

Without thinking, Will leans in, his trembling hand reaching up to cup Mike's cheek. His heart races as their eyes lock, and for a moment, the world outside of this room fades away. And then, Will presses his lips to Mike's in a gentle, desperate kiss. It's a kiss filled with pain and confusion, but also a hint of something more, something that's been building between them for years.

Mike's eyes widened for a fraction of a second, shocked by the suddenness of Will's action. But then, as if he'd been waiting for this moment forever, he leans into it. His hands come up to cradle Will's face, his thumbs wiping away the trails of tears that had stained the other boy's cheeks. The kiss is gentle, tentative, as if both of them are afraid to break the fragile moment.

The difference between this kiss shared and the one between the brunette and Alex was astounding. Mike's touches were soft, cautious and awaiting consent. Alex's had been rough, fast and uncaring.

All too soon, Will pulls away -Not far, just far enough to lean their foreheads together and speak into each others mouths.

"I love you too." The brunette whispers as if it's almost a natural response. The skies blue, waters wet, Will Byers love Micheal Wheeler.

Mike's heart swells, the words echoing in his mind like a melody that's been playing in the background of their entire friendship. He's heard those words from Will before, of course, but not like this, not with the raw emotion that's coating them now, not with the depth that follows them now.

Will chuckles against Mikes lips, "I love you so fucking much Micheal."

Mike smiles into the kiss, the warmth of Will's words spreading through him like a warm blanket. "I love you," he murmurs back, his thumbs brushing away the last of Will's tears.