Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Oh my god!” Henry exclaimed from his spot on the couch curled up next to Walter. “Actually?”

“Why are you so surprised?” Wilhelm said. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Walter shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth. “Dude, you haven’t dated anyone since like, that one time when you were 16.”

“I’m not dating anyone! I just really really like them.”

“Will all of you shut up?” Felice swatted Wilhelm, eyes not leaving the screen.

It was Saturday night, and Wilhelm, Henry, Walter, Felice, Sara, and Simon were all watching Red, White, and Royal Blue squished onto a couch. Henry and Walter were sharing a blanket since they were dating, and both Felice and Sara had refused to share with any of the boys, so they shared one. Which left Simon to share with Wilhelm. It also left him to sit next to Wilhelm while he told the group about his crush.

Which didn’t bother Simon. Why would it? He was happy for his friend. Friend.

From what Wilhelm had told them so far, it wasn’t just a crush. This was more than that. He had only told them a few sentences about this girl and Wilhelm was obsessed with her. Simon could tell Wilhelm was in love just by the look in his eyes. Simon knew everything about Wilhelm since they had been friends since they were nine. He had known Wilhelm for way longer than any random girl had. He knew more of Wilhelm’s secrets than this girl.

Except for this one apparently. Simon didn’t know what would be worse, Wilhelm choosing a terrible person over Simon, or Wilhelm being in love with an amazing girl Simon could never compete with. Either way, Wilhelm was in love with someone, and it wasn’t Simon.

Which also didn’t bother Simon. Supportive friend. Friend. God he hated that word.

“Hey! Don’t hit me.” Wilhelm swatted Felice back.

“Please just listen to Fel and shush.” Sara threw a piece of popcorn in the general direction of the boys and it landed in Henry’s hair. “Some of us are trying to watch a movie.”

Henry picked it off his head and threw it back. “It’s not even that amazing. How do you even fall in love with someone after they make an entire cake fall on you?”

“That’s why it’s enemies to lovers. And it is an amazing movie, thank you very much!”

“You idiots are going off topic. Wilhelm, please, you have to tell us who it is!” Walter said.

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

“Plea-”

“I know who it is.” Felice said with a smirk.

Wilhelm turned towards her. “No you don’t! I never told you.”

“You didn’t have to. It’s so obvious it’s actually embarrassing.”

“No it’s not! I’m perfectly subtle.”

“They only reason they haven’t realized is because they’re an idiot. Both of you are.” Felice gave a knowing look to Sara.

Did Sara know who it was too?

Henry tugged at Felice’s sleeve. “Felice, I’m your best friend. Tell me.”

“You sure about that?”

Henry feigned offense and slapped a hand to his chest. “Bitch!”

Walter yanked the popcorn bowl out of Wilhelm’s hands. “At least tell us about them, otherwise you’re not getting your popcorn back.

Simon kept his eyes on the screen and tuned out the conversation. At least he tried to. He didn’t want to listen to Wilhelm tell them about how amazing this girl was.

“Okay, so they’ve got the most beautiful eyes ever.” Wilhelm’s eyes practically glazed over. Simon held back tears. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to sob, throw up, scream, or just combust.

“And the best laugh. Like their entire face just lights up when they laugh.”

Simon could feel the bile in his throat.

“They’re so passionate about everything they like, and they’re like, so much smarter than me.”

“That doesn’t exactly say much.” Henry dodged the popcorn thrown at him for that comment. “How the fuck do both Sara and Felice know but we don’t? Wait, Simon, do you know who it is?”

Simon didn’t answer, afraid that if he opened his mouth a sob would choke out.

“Simon?”

“No.” How he managed not to sob as he said that, he didn’t know.

“Really? Wilhelm tells you everything. I would’ve thought you’d know.”

“He hasn’t told anyone.” If Sara noticed anything off about Simon, she didn’t comment on it, for which he was thankful for. “We just figured it out by ourselves cause we’re not oblivious idiots like some of you.”

“Yeah.” Felice added. “I’ve literally seen Wilhelm make puppy eyes at this person so many times right in front of me! I don’t know how they haven’t figured it out yet.”

Simon was going to be sick. Scratch that, he was already sick. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” He slipped out from the blanket he was sharing with Wilhelm and practically ran to the bathroom.

Simon shut the door behind him and looked in the mirror. Wilhelm said the girl had beautiful eyes. Simon didn’t. He had plain brown eyes like almost everyone else on the planet. He would never have beautiful eyes. Now, looking at himself, he realized nothing about him was special. He had average eyes, average hair, an average smile. He didn’t have beautiful eyes, his face didn’t completely light up when he laughed, and he wasn’t smart. He had nothing for Wilhelm to be interested in. He didn’t even have any cool interests, just architecture, piano, and singing.

Simon wondered what the girl that Wilhelm was interested in was like. Probably blue eyes. Perfect white teeth that showed when she laughed. Maybe a doctor or an engineer. Someone smart. Never too loud or pushy or needy.

Simon’s phone vibrated in his pocket, bringing him out of his thoughts.

Sara <3: Hey, you good?

Sara <3: I can make everyone leave so you have the dorm to yourself if you want

Simme: no its fine just tired

Simme: can you tell them i’m going to beth

Simme: *begin

Simme: *bath

Simme: *bet

Simme: *bed

Sara <3: Oh my god

Simme: sry i’m tried

Simme: *tired

Simon could vaguely hear Sara in the living room telling the others he was going to bed. He quietly walked to his room hoping the others wouldn’t hear him. He immediately closed the door, put on his headphones, and clicked on his saddest playlist.

There, in the comfort of his own room, hugging his frog stuffy, could he finally fall apart.

When Simon looked in the mirror the next day, his eyes were red and puffy. He fixed himself as much as he could before making a quick iced coffee in the kitchen. Thankfully Wilhelm wasn’t awake yet, as the others had probably gone to bed really late. 

Then he practically tore apart his room looking for his contacts.

Simon wore contacts everyday, but when he was 14 Sara had gotten him green contacts as a joke. He had just shoved them in his closet and never wore them, as he liked his own eyes. Sure they were a bit plain, but they looked like his mom’s eyes, and he loved that. But know he had more important things to worry about. Like Wilhelm. 

If his eyes were the problem, would contacts make Wilhelm notice him? Would Wilhelm like him if he had pretty green eyes like the ones everyone had on TV? 

Realistically he knew it would take more than different eyes for Wilhelm to like him, but it was a step in the right direction. And he was desperate. As much as he loved being friends with Wilhelm, he hated being just friends with Wilhelm.

He wanted to be more, so much more, and if he had to change everything about himself, so be it.

Chapter Text

Rom-Com movies were liars.

They always had the characters pinning after one another, then one of them confessed, they kissed, then, boom, happily ever after.

Okay, maybe they were a bit more complicated than that, but that was pretty much the plot of all of them.

And Wilhelm hated all of them. Because it wasn't like that. It was so much worse than that. Not once had he thought about the years he had pinning after Simon and wanted to laugh. Well, sometimes it was almost comical how sad Wilhelm's love life was. But aside from that, nothing was happy or cheesy about any of this. Wilhelm kept waiting for the day that Simon would realize that Wilhelm liked him, and then confess that he too, liked Wilhelm. Then they would get married.

But clearly, Simon didn’t like him back, so he would have to pretend like he didn’t spend many hours imagining what ring he would propose to Simon with. 

Because they were just friends. Friends. What a terrible word. Wilhelm hated it.

But if it meant staying close with Simon, getting to share a blanket with him on movie night, getting to stare into those beautiful eyes every day, getting to see Simon’s face light up when he laughed, or how he practically vibrated with joy when he told Wilhelm about ancient architecture, he would bare it. 

He would pretend it didn’t break his heart when Simon introduced him as his best friend. Friend. Why did that word come up so often? Useless word.

But when he woke up in the morning, he felt a slimmer of hope. He had just told everyone, including Simon, about his crush, and maybe, just maybe, Simon had realized he was talking about him. And this morning would be the day of their first kiss. 

He knew he was a bit delusional, but he needed delusion. Delusion was what kept him going. He would never make it through the day if he was honest with himself.

He heard a sound from the kitchen and basically leaped out of his bed. 

Simon was awake. 

“Hey.”

Hey? What kind of idiot said ‘Hey’? Wilhelm mentally scolded himself.

“Hey,” Simon replied.

No good morning. No smile. Instead, Simon just gave a dry answer and slid over a cup of warm tea without even looking at Wilhelm.

All bad signs, but Wilhelm ignored them. Simon was probably just tired. He always overworked himself with all the homework he got from school. It was just that and nothing else. Wilhelm was not lying to himself. Just being positive.

Wilhelm had put on the best outfit he could find in a rush, combed his hair 10 times, and even put on a bit of cologne. But Simon hadn’t said anything. 

“What do you think of my clothes?” Wilhelm asked, hoping to break the awkward silence. Or was it just a normal silence and he was overthinking it? Now he was overthinking overthinking. Was that even possible? Could he overthink overthinking overthinking?

“They're good.” Simon’s eyes didn’t leave his tea.

Simon wasn’t giving Wilhelm much to work with, but that was fine.

But then a worse thought entered Wilhelm. What if Simon had realized who Wilhelm liked and that was why he was acting weird? Because he didn’t like Wilhelm back?

There was only one way to find out. Ask Simon.

But obviously that wasn’t going to happen. Because asking Simon would require confidence that Wilhelm didn’t have. He was too scared of rejection. So he would just try to ease into the topic.

“How did you find the movie last night?” Wilhelm regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. Why did he say it like that? It sounded way too formal.

“How did I find the movie?” Simon repeated with a laugh. “Why did you say it like that?”

He made Simon laugh. That was good. He loved watching Simon’s face light up.

“It was good I guess. I only saw half of it though.” And then Simon finally looked at Wilhelm. And Wilhelm almost choked on his tea.

“What happened to your eyes?!” 

Simon winced at his bluntness, and Wilhelm regretted it, but there was something wrong with Simon’s eyes. Instead of their normal warm brown, they were a striking green. Not that Wilhelm had anything against green eyes, and Simon could pull off anything anyway, but Wilhelm loved Simon’s eyes. 

“Oh, it’s just my contacts.” Simon mumbled, looking back at the ground.

“What?”

“You didn’t know I had contacts?” Simon said, surprised. “I literally wear my glasses around you all the time, and I’ve put my contacts in right in front of you before.”

“No, I knew you had contacts. I was just surprised because your eyes were a bit different.” 

“Oh yeah, Sara gave me green contacts a bit ago, so I thought I’d try them out. Do you like them?”

Simon asked the last sentence with so much hope in his voice that Wilhelm couldn’t say no. And the truth is, Simon did look good. He always looked good. So Wilhelm said that. “You look amazing.” And, oh, Simon smiled so wide at that. 

If Simon liked the contacts that much, Wilhelm would learn to like them. Even if he missed Simon’s real eyes. Because Simon’s smile was worth it. “Any specific reason?” Wilhelm asked.

Simon shook his head, a bright smile still on his face. “Nope, just felt like it.”

“What’s that book about?” Wilhelm gestured to the book lying next to Simon’s forgotten tea on the counter.

Instead of saying anything architecture-related, and then going into a long spiel about it while Wilhelm stared at him with heart eyes, Simon gave him a short answer. “Physics.”

Wilhelm looked at Simon in surprise. “Really? I thought you hated that kind of stuff.”

“So? I can like science things.” Simon said it fast and defensively, so Wilhelm decided to drop the topic.

“Ok.”

Wilhelm pretends it doesn’t disappoint him. Simon didn’t like him back, and it was fine. Was that why Simon was acting weird today? Because he was disgusted with Wilhelm? 

“I’m gonna go finish this book, Wilhelm.” Simon mumbles the words before taking fast steps over to his room with his head dropped.

Wilhelm.

Simon never called him Wilhelm. Always ‘Wille’. Sometimes ‘Wil’. But never Wilhelm.

Did Wilhelm just destroy his friendship with Simon forever?

Simon doesn’t make any attempt to talk to Wilhelm for the rest of the day, so Wilhelm does the only thing he can think of, and goes to Felice’s dorm with an assortment of candies.

He knocks at the door and hears two voices from inside the room, who he assumes are Felice and Sara. After a few seconds, Felice opens the door.

“It’s 11 pm, what could you possibly have to—” Felice flatters as soon as she sees a lost-looking Wilhelm with a bag of candy in his hand. “Oh. Hi Wilhelm.”

From almost the very beginning of their friendship, Felice and Wilhelm had a few unspoken rules, one of which was: that if one of them came to the other in the night without notice with some form of food, there was something important. Usually, if the food was ice cream, they would eat it while one cried on the other’s shoulders as they watched a movie. If it was takeout, they had something to rant about angrily, and candy meant one of them had a problem that they would stay up until 3 am talking about.

Felice held the door open, so Wilhelm stepped into the dorm. Sara stood in the kitchen with a bowl of pretzels in her hand, staring at Wilhelm in confusion. Then she and Felice looked at each other as they seemed to have a conversation with just their eyes. After a look of understanding passed over Sara’s face, Felice gently grabbed Wilhelm’s hand and led him over to her room.

Sara and Felice were like that sometimes. Actually all the time. While Felice and Wilhelm were undeniably close friends, she and Sara had a different kind of friendship. There were no words for Wilhelm to describe it, they just understood each other better than anyone else. The kind of friendship Wilhelm had with Simon almost. 

Was he still friends with Simon?

Felice sat down on her bed and Wilhelm followed.

As Wilhelm pulled the different candies out of the bag and opened them, Felice finally spoke. “What happened?” She asked in a comforting voice.

Wilhelm stuffed some Skittles in his mouth. “Remember last night?” Though, with the Skittles in his mouth, it sounded more like ‘Vememwer wass white?’.

Felice rolled her eyes but didn’t tell him to not talk while chewing, which she always told him to. “When we watched Red, White, and Royal Blue? Yeah.” Then her eyes widened. “Oh my god. This is about Simon isn’t it?” The look Wilhelm gave her was confirmation enough. “Oh. My. God. Did he find out? About…?”

Wilhelm just gave her a shrug. “I don’t know.” Because, truly, he did not know. Did Simon find out? It was certainly a possibility. But perhaps there was another reason why he was acting weird earlier. Wilhelm hoped so. He couldn’t bear to think that his own stupidity would be the reason that his and Simon’s friendship was ruined. 

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Felice asked in doubt.

“I don’t know. He was just… different this morning, I guess. He was acting weird.” Wilhelm trailed off but Felice gestured for him to go on. “He was reading a book on physics.”

Felice looked at him in disbelief and slightly exasperated. “Wilhelm, you know I love you. But really? You came here because Simon was reading a book on physics?”

“You haven’t listened to him rant on for hours about how much he hates anything science-related!” Wilhelm said defensively. “Unless it’s also related to architecture.” He added as an afterthought.

“Wilhelm.” Felice said softly but firmly. “I know you’re not here because of a book.”

“He was just kinda,” Wilhelm struggled for a word. “Cold.” He said while aimlessly gesturing his hands.

Felice nibbled on her Airhead Xtreme. “Cold?” She copied Wilhelm’s hand gestures.

“He… kinda ignored me. No, not really ignored. But he seemed like he didn’t want to talk to me. Like, gave me really short answers, and just seemed off in general.” Wilhelm didn’t look at Felice as he said it, instead opting to search through the Sour Patch Kids bag for a blue one.

“And you think this is because of what you said last night?”

“I don’t know. I’m just kinda worried that I ruined our friendship. What if he realized that I like him, and he doesn’t like me back, so then it’s just awkward between us.” 

‘What if he realized I like him?’

‘I like him.’

Wilhelm knew since yesterday night that Felice knew that he liked Simon. And Wilhelm had known he liked Simon since he was 14. But he had never said it aloud. Saying it made it feel so much more real.

Wilhelm liked Simon. It had always been a fact but now it was official. Wilhelm liked Simon. Wilhelm loved—

No. He couldn’t think that now. Not when he was sure Simon didn’t like him back.

“Wilhelm.” Felice’s voice took him out of his thoughts. “You know that would never happen, right? You guys have been friends forever, there’s no way your friendship is going to end because of this. And, I can’t say for a fact, but I’m 99% sure that Simon likes you back.”

Wilhelm shook his head. “Please don’t get my hopes up for nothing.”

“It’s not for nothing.” Felice insisted. “That boy likes you. You would notice if you weren’t so oblivious.”

“I’m not oblivious and Simon doesn’t—” Wilhelm didn’t finish that sentence. The more he thought about it, the more he got his hopes up. And he could not afford to do that. So, instead, he changed the topic. “How did you know I liked Simon?”

“Oh, it was too obvious. I swear, you’re always staring at him, and you follow him around like a lost puppy.” Felice said it with amusement, and Wilhelm half smiled. “He doesn’t even realize it, but he’s got you on a leash, and it’s so fun to watch.”

“He does not!”

“He absolutely does.”

Wilhelm scoffed, but a part of him knew it was true.

“Oh!” Felice added. “You also snuggle way too much to be platonic.”

“No! I snuggle with you, that’s platonic.”

“Yeah, but the way you snuggle with him is not. Henry and Walter would have noticed it too if they weren’t so daft and obsessed with each other.”

“They are obsessed with each other. Does Sara know?”

“Know what?” Wilhelm swore a light blush came over Felice’s face, but he decided not to comment on it.

“About how I like Simon.” 

“Oh. Does she know about that.” The blush on Felice’s face became stronger. “Definitely.”

“I can’t be that obvious, can I?”

“You most definitely can be.”

Wilhelm gasped. “I almost forgot to tell you! This morning, Simon was wearing green contacts. He had green eyes!”

“I think he could pull off green eyes.” Felice shrugged and bit off the head of a yellow Sour Patch Kid. 

“Well, of course he can. He looks good in literally anything. He could probably pull off a Voldemort look.” Wilhelm had seen Simon with his hair sticking straight up, and he still looked beautiful. “But that’s not the point! I miss his real eyes. They were so pretty!”

Felice laughed. “Oh my god, you are so far gone it’s not even funny.”

And as expected, they stayed up until 3 am, until Wilhelm almost forgot about his troubles with Simon.

Almost.

Chapter Text

Not even five minutes had passed and Simon wanted to bang his head against the wall until his forehead was flat.

He was trying to give the physics book a chance but he hated it. But he continued, willing his head to soak in any information, but it just wouldn’t.

This is for Wilhelm, he reminded himself.

If the problem was that he wasn’t smart enough, then he could change that. His plan was to read every book and watch every documentary on anything and everything ‘smart’, until he was just as smart as the girl Wilhelm liked. Physics, biology, logistics, business, he would learn it all. Logically, he knew he couldn’t, but he was fueled with delusion and love, which did not help him in any way, but did motivate him.

And cloud his better judgment. If he ever had any of it.

‘I thought you hated that kind of stuff.’ 

And Wilhelm had sounded so surprised and confused when Simon had told him what he was reading.

Did Wilhelm really think Simon was incapable of being interested in science? Did he really think Simon was that stupid?

The logical part of Simon told him he was looking too deep into it, because, in fairness, he did absolutely hate science. He barely passed it in high school. But, of course, the overthinking part of Simon said he wasn’t looking into it enough .

Maybe Simon should have picked a different major. Become a doctor, or engineer, or lawyer. Anything more impressive than an architect. 

On the bright side, Wilhelm seemed to like the contacts. He had never commented on Simon’s eyes before, but he called his eyes ‘ amazing’ this morning. Although Simon would have preferred ‘ beautiful’ , or ‘the most beautiful thing on the face of this earth, so beautiful I’ve forgotten about that random girl and am now in love with you!’.

Was that too much to ask for? Simon certainly didn’t think so.

He was doing everything he could think of, changing his eyes, trying to become smarter, being less needy and clingy to Wilhelm. What else? 

Should he change his hair? He was always insecure about it, comparing it to the straight or wavy hair of the people around him, Simon being one of the few non-white people where he grew up.

Should he change his interests? He had no interests other than singing and architecture, unless you counted Greek mythology, but he doubted anyone wanted to listen to him ramble on about that. What were cool people even interested in? 

So instead of doing anything productive, Simon just watched comfort movies while sulking in bed for the rest of the day. 

Because clearly that was going to make everything better.

So while Simon and Wilhelm usually spent all of their free time together, today they only crossed paths once, barely looking at each other.

Or at least Simon didn’t look at Wilhelm.

And Simon desperately hoped Wilhelm didn’t look at him, because then he would have noticed his puffy eyes.

Simon already knew what Sara would say: ‘You’re acting like one of the characters from Mamá’s telenovelas.’

But Simon didn’t care if he was being dramatic. He had been pining after Wilhelm since he was 13, he felt he had a right to be dramatic. 

Sometime around 11 pm Simon heard the door to the dorm open and close, which he assumed was Wilhelm, probably going to Felice’s dorm.

Or to the mystery girl’s room, but Simon tried not to think about that.

Barely ten minutes later, Simon heard a knock at the door, and groaned as he opened it.

“Dios mío.” Sara looked Simon up and down, and took in the sight of him in sweatpants and a shirt big enough to be a dress. He had wrapped himself so tightly in a fluffy blanket that he had to practically waddle up to the door, and his eyes were so swollen and red that they would probably not fade overnight. “Let me guess; you were watching Dead Poets Society while bawling your eyes over a tub of ice cream?

Simon moved aside to let her into the dorm, but made sure she saw his eye roll. “Why are you the way that you are?”

“ You are not in a position to be quoting Michael Scott at me. And I was right wasn’t I?”

Despite her annoying voice, Simon could see the worry laced in her eyes, which made him cave. “Yes. Yes, I was. But it wasn’t just Dead Poets Society . I watched other stuff too, so you were wrong.”

“Partly. Only partly.”

“Sara. Why are you here?”

She sighed, and Simon immediately had an idea of what she was going to say. “So… Wilhem came over.”

“Cool.” Simon said it with indifference, or at least what he hoped sounded like indifference. “Why are you telling me?”

“Did…anything,” Sara hesitated over the words, and Simon really wished she didn’t, because it shouldn’t have been this hard to talk about his best friend. Friend . “Did anything happen between you two?”

“No.” And that was right. Because nothing had happened between them. They would have to interact for that to happen. “Why, what did he say?”

“Nothing, nothing. He came over, and I got the vibe something was wrong, so I assumed it was about last night.” Sara paused after she said that, and studied Simon’s face for a reaction.

“What about last night?”

“Nothing, nothing.” Sara repeated.

But clearly she still thought something was up. So, in order to distract her, Simon offered the one thing she couldn’t turn down: “Wanna watch sad movies while we bawl our eyes out and eat ice cream?”

“Oh my god, you’re like one of the characters from Mamá’s telenovelas.”

“You still love me though.”

Sara rolled her eyes. “Absolutely not, you’re even more insufferable than Henry.”

Simon gasped. “Some low blows there!”

Regardless, she grinned and joined Simon.

And watching movies with Sara, Simon almost forgot about his troubles with Wilhelm.

Almost.

Simon woke up to someone hitting him with a pillow.

“Wake! Up! You! Little! IDIOTIC! BITC-”

“Ow, ow!” Simon rolled away from the pillow hitting him, taking the blanket with him. “Sara I’m awake!”

“Finally. Okay, get changed and eat, I made breakfast.”

Simon rubbed his eyes. “Ew, you’re a terrible cook.”

“Suck it up.” Sara moved around the room and stuffed a few things that Simon couldn’t see in a bag.

“What are you packing for?” Simon asked groggily.

“I’m not packing, just getting sunscreen and hats. We’re going out with Felice and Wilhelm.”

Suddenly Simon was awake. “What?!” He all but jumped out of bed.

“I laid out an outfit for you, and I’m going to go back to my dorm to change.” She said it offhandedly, without even looking at him. “We need to go in about 30 minutes.”

“WHAT?!”

“What?”

“I need to get ready!”

“That’s what I’ve been saying.” Sara slung the mini backpack over her shoulder, and walked out Simon’s door. 

“OH MY GOD!”

“Chill, you still have half an hour. Bye!” She held out the ‘e’ in bye, so it was more like ‘byeeeeeeeeee’. 

The moment Sara left his dorm, Simon started running around to get ready. Usually he wouldn’t worry too much about going out with his friends, and would just throw on pajama pants and a hoodie and barely comb. But this time, he had a Wilhelm to impress. Plus, Wilhelm had looked extra hot yesterday, so Simon had to look just as good as Wilhelm.

Realistically he knew he couldn’t do that, because Wilhelm was practically Aphrodite, while Simon was more of a Hephaestus. And the other girl would be Ares or something. But he would try.

He tamed his hair as best as he could, which wasn’t that amazing, and put in his green contacts. He skipped breakfast, too focused on getting ready. Before he was fully done, Sara barged in, not bothering to knock

“Wait, I'm not ready yet!” Simon protested.

Sara ignored him and dragged him out the door. “You look fine. Just put on some sunscreen.”

“No! It makes me look like a ghost!”

“A really ugly annoying ghost.” She grumbled.

They got in the car, Felice and Sara talking happily in the front seats, and Wilhelm and Simon sitting in silence in the back.

Tired of the silence, Simon tried to start a conversation. “So…”

“Um…” Wilhelm said, not helping at all.

Why was it so awkward between them? It wasn’t like they had a fight or anything. They just both mutually decided to stop talking. Why?

Well, Simon knew why he was avoiding Wilhem, but why was Wilhelm avoiding him?

You’re being dramatic. You guys literally talked less than 24 hours ago, a voice in his head said. This is why he doesn’t like you. You’re too clingy and needy.

“Shut up.” 

“Huh?” Wilhelm looked at him in confusion.

“Oh, um, sorry, I just meant–” Simon scrambled for something to talk about, and just brought up the only thing he could think of. “How’s Mystery Person doing?” He blurted it with a bit too much force, and winced.

“Huh?” Wilhelm said before understanding washed over his face. “Oh. Yeah, um… good?”

Dear god, why did Simon have to be in love with such an idiot?

Simon had been wondering for too long, so he went straight to the point. “Who is it?”

“What?” 

Simon resisted the urge to face palm.

“Who is it?” He repeated.

“Oh. Um, like… a person?”

Forgetting slapping himself, he wanted to slap Wilhelm.

“Fine, can you at least tell me about them?”

Wilhelm still looked at a loss of words, which confused Simon, as Wilhelm had been so eager to talk about this girl just this Saturday.

“They… have hair?” Wilhelm said, then seeing Simon’s eye roll, quickly added: “Brown hair. Curly brown-ish hair. And brown eyes. Really pretty ones.”

What?

What?

This entire time, Simon had been so worried that Wilhelm didn’t like him because of his hair and eyes, but he liked brown eyes and hair, so then what was the problem? Was it just Simon’s face? Or his entire personality?

“Do I know them?” Simon asked, hoping his face didn’t show how much his heart was breaking.

“Yeah. You know them, really good.” 

Simon noted the emphasis on ‘really’. So he was really close friends with this person. Or maybe enemies. Or a family member or a friend of a friend that he knew for no absolute reason.

“How long have I known them?” Simon went through a list of everyone he ever knew.

“Practically since birth.” There was a weird look on Wilhelm’s while he said that.

What?

Who had Simon known since he was born? Maybe Wilhelm was exaggerating?

“We’re here!” Felice said from the front.

“I still don’t understand why you would choose a café so far away, when we have like ten so close to us.” Sara complained.

“Because this one has the best scones!” Felice argued as she and Sara got out of the car. Then she turned to Simon and Wihelm. “You guys coming?”

“Oh, ye– sor–, ye–” Wilhelm stuttered while Simon just quietly got out of the car.

He didn’t even talk while they ordered and just ordered whatever Sara got.

He had only one thing on his mind, which was Wilhelm.

Because there was only one person that matched Wilhelm’s description who Simon had known his whole life.

Sara.

Oh god.

Oh fucking god.

Please no.

Simon silently begged for it not to be true, but it was the only thing that made sense.

“Simon?”

“Huh?” Simon looked up to see Felice and Sara looking at him expectantly.

“How’re classes going?” Felice repeated.

Simon groaned. “Terrible. There’s so much homework. I’m pretty sure the only reason we have a break for a week is to catch up on work.”

“ Right? And literally for what?” Sara agreed.

“Sara, you don’t get to complain. You have been way too busy doing something else.” Simon said, and a blush shot up Sara’s face.

Sara hit Simon on the head. “Shut up!” 

Wilhelm and Felice had similar faces of confusion. 

“What?” Felice asked. “What have you been busy with?”

“Sara’s got a boyfrien–”

“We’re not official, we just hang out sometimes!” Sara defended. “We’ve never even kissed, I’m not sure if he likes me.”

“He definitely does.”

“Wait what?” Felice looked a bit hurt, but Simon wasn’t sure if Sara noticed. “Who?”

“You know August?” Sara said, taking a sip from her coffee. “A junior, I'm pretty sure.”

Felice was about to say something, but then Wilhelm choked on his water and almost spit it out, his face so comedic that Simon burst into laughter.

“What?” Sara asked defensively.

“August?!” Wilhelm exclaimed. “Sara, that's my second cousin!”

Felice choked on her scone and Simon laughed even harder.

“Sara, he’s disgusting, you can’t like him!”

“No he’s not! And I didn't know he was your cousin!” Suddenly she turned to Simon. “Did you know?” 

Simon nodded as he shaked in laughter, and Sara looked so aghast that tears started forming in his eyes.

“Simon! Stop laughing! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Cause it was so funny.” Simon choked out between laughs.

“Simon!” This time it was Wilhelm scolding him. “How could you let Sara date my second cousin? August? He’s terrible! Sara, you could do so much better!”

“I like him! I will do as I want!” Sara said defensively.

Felice spoke up. “Sounds like Wilhelm and August have a very similar type.”

That made Simon stop laughing.

Because what?

Felice knew who Wilhelm liked, Simon already knew that.

But what did that mean?

“Sounds like Wilhelm and August have a very similar type.”

Did that mean Wilhelm…

Felice just confirmed Simon’s greatest fear. 

Wilhelm liked Sara.

Simon wanted to throw up. He wanted to get out of here. He needed to get out of here. Was that why Wilhelm was so against Sara and August. He was jealous?

Oh god.

WIlhelm and Sara continued bickering with each other but Simon and Felice stayed quiet. When Simon looked over at Felice, he recognized the expression on her face immediately. He knew exactly what she was thinking, because he was thinking the same thing.

It was the face of a jealous person. Not jealous really. The face of someone who just found out the love of their life was in love with someone else.

Realization dawned on Simon.

Felice liked Sara.

What kind of fucked up love triangle had Simon’s friend group turned into?

Chapter Text

His cousin?

So many people in this world, and Sara chose August? He was a wanna-be fuck boy.

“Sounds like Wilhelm and August have a very similar type.” Felice said, and Wilhelm immediately forgot about August. 

He would shoot her a glare, but that would be too suspicious if Simon had not already figured it out. Wilhelm wasn’t sure if he even wanted Simon to know or if he wanted to keep it a secret forever.

He had gotten extra confident in the car earlier, and had practically told Simon. But, knowing Simon, he would probably come up with an insane explanation for everything, because Simon could just not understand that he is an extremely likable person. He was smart, kind, talented, beautiful, and also extremely oblivious. Wilhelm had seen many people flirt with Simon, and Simon would just assume they were friendly.

Not that Wilhelm was complaining. None of them were good enough for Simon.

Was Wilhelm?

Wilhelm continued arguing with Sara, because if he stopped talking, that would leave him to deal with worse things that he didn’t want to think about.

“This is a betrayal!” He slapped a hand to his chest to emphasize the fact and for dramatic effect.

Sara rolled her eyes. “Now you’re just being over-dramatic.”

“No I’m not!”

“Guys, tell Wilhelm he’s being an idiot!”

There was a beat of silence, before Felice and Simon, who were both zoned out, said in unison “Huh?”

“Oh my god, were neither of you guys listening?” Wilhelm pretended to be annoyed, but was more worried. He couldn’t exactly place the look on Simon’s face, but he knew it wasn’t good.

He would ask Simon about it later. 

Although he and Simon weren’t exactly talking. Maybe Wilhelm was overthinking it, but he and Simon always talked, and always spent all their free time together. Simon was the clingiest person Wilhelm had ever met, and he loved it. 

But now everything was awkward between them, which didn’t make sense, because there was no reason for anything to be awkward, and yet, it was.

When they climbed in the car, Wilhelm and Simon were in the back together again, so he took the opportunity. “You okay?”

Simon hummed an unconvincing ‘yes’, but Wilhelm decided to drop until they were alone.

Felice was uncharacteristically silent. Usually she and Sara would be chatting away, but Sara was the only one talking, oblivious to the tension in the car. At least Sara was happy, but everyone else all clearly had some problem, though Wilhelm could not figure out what was wrong with Simon.

“Why didn’t you tell me about August?” Felice cut into whatever Sara was saying.

“Nothing really happened between us yet, so there wasn’t really anything to tell you.” Seeing the hurt look on Felice’s face, she added “Sorry.”

No one talked for the rest of the car ride.

“So,” Wilhelm started when both him and Simon were alone in their dorm. “How long did you know that Sara…” He trailed off when he realized Simon wasn’t listening to him, and was instead giggling at his phone. Then, a little harshly, “Who are you texting?”

Simon answered without looking up from his phone. “Just one of Ayub’s friends.”

“Why are you giggling?”

“Cause he said something funny?” Then, seeing the look on Wilhelm’s face, he added “I don’t like them, not like that if that’s what you think.”

“Really?” Wilhelm asked doubtfully.

“Yes. My heart already belongs to another. But, alas, he is in love with another. Woe is me.” Simon put the back of his hand to his forehead and leaned his head back dramatically.

What?

Wilhelm was just now hearing of this?

“What?!” Wilhelm was not panicking. He was very chill about this. Knowing Simon didn’t like him was one thing, but Simon liking someone else? That was completely different.

 Simon was clearly confused. “What?” 

“Who?” 

Not panicking in any way whatsoever.

“You really think I'm telling you when you won’t tell me who you like?”

“That’s completely different!” Wilhelm said it a bit too defensive but Simon didn't seem to notice.

“How?”

Wilhelm paused. “I can’t exactly tell you, but trust me it is.”

“Why can’t you tell me?”

“Why can’t you tell me ?”

“Because…” Now it was Simon’s turn to pause. “It’s complicated. Trust me.”

Wilhelm sighed. “Okay, this is really stupid. Why are we arguing over this?”

“I really don’t know. Because we’re idiots? You especially.”

“What? I’m not an idiot.” 

Simon snorted. “You’re an oblivious idiot.”

“What am I oblivious to?”

“You would know if you weren’t an idiot.”

“ You’re an oblivious idiot too!” Wilhelm retorted, in a very original way.

“What am I oblivious to?”

And that reminded Wilhelm exactly what this was about. What he could never let Simon find out about.

“You’ll never know.”

“Wait, what? Now I need to know.” Simon complained.

“Too bad.”

They were both silent for a few comfortable seconds, because Wilhelm broke it.

“That guy’s an idiot.”

Simon’s head perked up at that. “What?”

“The guy you were talking about.” Wilhelm explained. “He’s an idiot. For not liking you.”

Simon suddenly burst out into laughter.

“What?” Wilhelm said with an awkward laugh. “What’s so funny?”

“It– It’s hard to explain.” But Simon kept laughing.

And that made up for all of it. For having to suppress his feelings for so many years. He would do it forever if it meant he could stay friends with Simon. To keep these small moments, like Simon’s complete unguarded laughter. 

Did it absolutely break his heart to know that someone else would see these parts of Simon someday? 

Obviously. There was no point in denying that.

But Wilhelm still wanted to keep this for as long as possible.

“Oh my god, it’s so funny though.” Simon said. “You’re never going to believe this; I was so sure that I wasn’t this guy’s type, but turns out he likes Sara.”

“What?!”

“I know! Guess I don’t need the green contacts anymore.”

“What do the green contacts have to do with any of this?” But Wilhelm already had an idea of what he was going to say, and it horrified him.

“I was wearing them to impress him. I thought he’d like me if I had prettier eyes. God, I even considered straightening my hair for this dude.” Simon said it with a laugh, but Wilhelm knew him well enough to hear the hurt hidden in it.

“Hey. Look at me.” Wilhelm said softly, and gently grabbed Simon’s hands. “You shouldn’t have to change yourself for anyone, Simme. You know that right? You’re perfect.” 

Simon just stared at him. Then Wilhelm realized how close they were. He could feel Simon’s breath on his lips, and if Wilhelm just leaned down a bit–

Simon cleared his throat and yanked his hands away. “Yeah, yeah, that’s great. Awesome. Um, I have to go so I can–”

Wilhelm grabbed one of Simon’s hands before he could run away. “No.”

“No?” Simon questioned.

“No.” Wilhelm said it firmer. “You don’t get to leave until you say it.”

“Say what?”

“That you’re perfect.”

“What? Wille, this is stupid.”

There’s the nickname Wilhelm missed so much.

“Say it.”

Simon gave in when he saw that Wilhelm wasn’t going to budge. “I’m perfect?”

“Don’t say it like a question. Say it with confidence.”

“I’m perfect.”

“You’re perfect!” Wilhelm shouted right in Simon’s face.

“I’m perfect!” Simon shouted back.

“Yeah! See?”

When Wilhelm looked straight into Simon’s eyes he saw a look he couldn’t really explain. Affection?

No. He was looking too much into it. But still, it was so easy to imagine that it was something more than 9 years of friendship. Though maybe that was just Wilhelm’s delusion.

“That guy’s a bitch.” Wilhelm said, to his friend .

Friend.

Simon lightly slapped Wilhelm’s shoulder. “He’s not a bitch. He just doesn’t like me.”

“And he’s an idiotic bitch for that. For making you feel like you need to change.”

“You said the green contacts were amazing!”

“No. I said you looked amazing. The contacts had nothing to do with that. That was just you. And I miss your old eyes. They were beautiful.”

Simon blushed, and Wilhelm did not throw an internal party for being the one to make Simon blush. He did not do that. 

“I don’t think you’d think the guy is a bitch if you knew who he was.”

“Why’s that?” 

“You know him.” Simon said simply, and Wilhelm wanted to press more, but decided they had talked enough about this.

“Want to watch the Lego Batman Movie with me?”

“Obviously Wille.”

It happened again.

Not just once again, multiple times, in just a few days.

Wilhelm had caught Simon giggling at his phone too many times, and whenever Wilhelm asked, Simon just said ‘Just one of Ayub’s friends’.

When Wilhelm about the 10th time, Simon finally told him. It just wasn’t what Wilhelm wanted to hear.

“I think I’m gonna give him a try.”

“What?”

Simon looked up at Wilhelm, warm brown eyes looking into Wilhelm’s. “Ayub’s friend. He’s been flirting with me, and I was ignoring it, but I think I’m gonna give him a try. I've been pining on a dude who doesn’t like me for way too long.”

“What’s his name?”

“Marcus.”

“How do you know him?”

“Invited Ayub to a karaoke place and I went too.”

“Is he a good singer?”

“Absolutely not. He’s terrible, it’s actually kinda funny. But he was really into it I guess, and he’s pretty nice.”

“Simme, you can’t settle for someone just because he’s ‘pretty nice’ and into you.”

“It’s not just that. He’s a good guy, and I just really need to get my mind off– Nevermind, that’s not important.” Simon said. “I’ll just give him a chance, and if it doesn’t work, then it doesn’t work.”

“Give him a chance?”

Oh no.

Please no.

“Yeah.” Simon nodded, so oblivious to the fact that he was single-handedly crushing Wilhelm’s heart and soul. “Ask him to go for coffee or something. Maybe another karaoke place.”

Wilhelm didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. He just sat there listening to Simon happily chat away, and pretended he was excited for Simon.

Because that’s what a supportive friend would do.

Friend.

“It was so fun!” Simon said as he climbed into Wilhelm’s car.

Simon began to tell Wilhelm in full detail about his date with Marcus, and how he was ‘such a gentleman’, in Simon’s words. 

Personally, Wilhelm thought that if Marcus was such a gentleman, he would have dropped Simon home himself, but Wilhelm wasn’t complaining. It was another part of Simon’s life spent with Wilhelm instead of Marcus.

Not that Wilhelm was competing with Marcus.

“ And , he asked me out for this Sunday!”

“That’s great, Simme.” Wilhelm said in his fake-happy voice. Thankfully Simon didn’t notice.

Simon knew almost everything about Wilhelm, but this was one thing Wilhelm had become good at lying about.

Chapter Text

“What?!”

“I know, I know, Fel.” Sara said as she brushed her hair. Or at least tried to, as her hair was far too tangled for the brush to go through it. “I’m sorry, but it's just this time.”

“You can’t miss movie night!” Felice protested. “No one has missed movie night since the first. You can’t just skip it because you have a date!”

“I’m sorry, I really am.” Sara faced Felice, then did a little spin, her skirt twirling with her. With an almost shy but giddy smile she asked, “How do I look?”

It was Saturday evening, and Felice and Madison were helping Sara get ready for her date with August. And as much as Felice wanted to be mad at Sara for skipping movie night for some random guy, it was hard to stay mad at Sara when she was so excited about the whole thing.

Felice rolled her eyes, but smiled. “You look amazing. But Sar, seriously, you did not need a full hour to get ready for a movie date.”

“I can’t believe he’s taking you to a movie date. You could do better.” Madison said as she adjusted Sara's hair clip. “Also, I stalked his instagram. He’s ugly. Like seriously ugly.”

“He is not ugly!”

“Sara, I’m gonna hold your hand as I say this, he looks like an elongated gnome.”

“No he does not!”

“Ye–”

“Oh my god, please shut up!” Felice interrupted. She checked the time then switched off the music they had playing on a speaker. “It’s about time right now.”

Sara’s phone buzzed, and she looked down at it and practically squealed. “He’s here!” 

“Do you want me to walk you downstairs?” Felice offered, hoping Sara would accept. Unlike Madison, she had not stalked August’s instagram, and had no idea who he was or what he looked like. All she knew is that he was Wilhelm’s second cousin, and that he apparently looked like an ‘elongated gnome’.

Did a part of her want to see the person Sara was replacing her with?

Obviously. But there was no way she would ever admit that. 

“No, it’s fine. Thanks though!” Sara waved goodbye and left, and Felice was not disappointed. 

Because, as much as it hurt her, she knew what she had signed up for when she started liking Sara as more than a friend. She knew Sara would never like her. Not like that.

The problem wasn’t that she was a girl, Sara had been out as pan since before Felice knew her, Sara never had a problem with people knowing about it. But the thing about Sara was that she never saw friends as anything more than platonic. She decided the moment she met someone whether she was interested in them or not. Every person she had ever dated she had only known for a week or two before she started going out with them. 

Felice, however, did not operate like that. She was raised off rom-coms and romance movies. Best friends to lovers, childhood friends to lovers, high-school sweethearts. She had had occasional crushes from time to time, her first one on Wilhelm (a secret she would keep with her till the end of time), but she had never felt like doing anything with them. 

And when she met Sara for the first time on a tour of the campus, she hadn’t really felt anything. She knew they were going to get along well, but that was it. But after a few months of late night facetimes and dorm planning, she started to like Sara as more than a friend. Then after only two months of rooming together, Felice was in love. 

She didn’t even try to deny it when she realized. She had just accepted it. She had panicked a little, because she had absolutely no experience with this feeling, but she got used to it.

I’m in love with my best friend and she doesn’t love me back.

 That was the phrase she had repeated to herself in the mirror when she home alone for a week straight. One time Sara had walked in on her, so Felice had started singing it, then tried to convince Sara it was just a song they were singing in choir.

‘That’s an odd song.’ Sara had said.

Thankfully Sara had stayed oblivious to all of it.

The Erikssons. Felice didn’t know what they fed their kids, but it had made both of them grow up to be completely oblivious to the obvious crushes their best friends had on them.

And although Felice knew Wilhelm was going through a similar thing, this was one thing she couldn’t even tell Wilhelm. For all her love of romance movies, she hated talking about her own romance life. 

“Felice?” Madison’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

“Yeah?” Felice looked up to meet Madison’s eyes, but Madison only raised an eyebrow at her. “What?”

“You know I’m not blind, right? Or stupid?”

“Yeah?” Felice said unsurely. “What does that have to do with anything?”

Madison put her head in her hands. “Felice, you’re always the smart one, but you are so dumb when it comes to this.”

“When it comes to what?”

“You like her.”

Felice didn’t even have to ask who Madison was talking about.

And she didn’t say it as an accusation or question. Not even a revelation. Just as a statement. An obvious fact.

The grass is green, the sky is blue, Felice was hopelessly in love with Sara.

After studying the look on Felice’s face, Madison concluded, “So I'm right.”

They both reached out for a hug at the same time, and Felice buried her head in Madison’s shoulder. “Maddy, I don’t know what to do.”

“Just let it out.”

After spilling her guts to Madison, despite her slightly red eyes, Felice decided to go to the movie night.

“Where’s Simon?” She asked Wilhelm.

“Oh, he skipped to go on a date with Marcus. It was supposed to be on Sunday, but it got moved to today.” Felice could see the pure hurt on Wilhelm’s face.

Me too, Wilhelm. Me too.

“I’m sorry. I was really sure that he liked you.”

“Honestly, I kinda thought so too for a bit. Got over it though.”

“Sara had a date with August.” Felice told him.

Wilhelm let out a little laugh, but it was dry.

“Yeah.” Felice nodded. “So just the four of us then?”

“Actually, you’re never going to believe this, Henry and Walter canceled.”

Felice groaned. “So everyone’s going on dates except for us.”

“Pretty much.”

They turned on a movie, some rom-com Felice didn’t pay attention to the name of, and shared a blanket on the couch.

“It’s cold.” Felice complained, moving closer to Wilhelm to steal his body heat.

He let her, and moved a bit closer too. “Why the hell would you wear shorts?”

Their sides were pressed against each other now, and Felice could hear Wilhelm’s breath.

“I wasn’t thinking ahead.” She turned to Wilhelm as she said it, and Wilhelm turned to face her.

Oh god.

Their faces were barely a few inches apart, and neither of them moved. Felice wasn’t even sure if either of them were breathing.

They were so close.

Felice suddenly remembered the crush she used to have on Wilhelm. For a full month, she could barely talk to Wilhelm without blushing (though the idiot never noticed). She had replayed every conversation she had with Wilhelm, taking each one of them as a sign he might like her back, just to find out she was misinterpreting all of them.

But she knew there was no way she was misinterpreting this. It was very clear what was happening.

Felice wasn’t sure which of them leaned in first, or if they both did at the same time. All she knew is that just a moment later they were kissing.

It was hesitant at first, maybe a little awkward. But then they both got more confident, and the kiss deepened. Felice slowly leaned backwards, until she was laying with her back on the couch, and Wilhelm started to climb on top of her. 

As a hand slipped under her hoodie the door opened.

“Wilhelm, I think I left my hat—”

Wilhelm jumped off Felice, almost falling off the couch in the process.

“Oh, um— I didn’t—I think—” Henry stuttered, looking everywhere but Felice and Wilhelm, almost as red as they were.

As Henry tried to stutter through a full sentence, Felice took the opportunity to grab her jacket and rush out the door, past Henry.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cockblock anyone or—” Felice heard Henry say.

But she didn’t hear Wilhelm’s response as she had already run away.

Chapter Text

Hen: Can we talk?

Simme: are you breaking up with me?

Hen: It's urgent.

Simme: proper grammar?

Simme: damn it must be serious

Hen: Simon

Hen: Actually, like right now.

Simme: i'll be there in like 10 min

Simme: im at sara’s right now

Simon was panicking.

Henry was the most illiterate person he had ever met, and never texted in full sentences.

And on top of that, ‘Can we talk?’ was never a comforting question in any context.

He had already had the worst date of his life, and whatever was going on with Henry was definitely bad, and he barely had any energy for any of it.

But, of course, he was going, because it was Henry.

Simon ran through campus, probably looking like an idiot with his unzipped jacket flying in the wind, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

He banged on Henry’s door, still trying to catch his breath. He had been in a rowing team for three years (the worst three years of his life) but it had done nothing for his stamina.

Henry swung open the door almost as soon as Simon knocked, like he had been waiting there, which did not ease any of Simon’s worries.

“Simon, oh my go–” Henry froze when he saw Simon’s face.

Simon was fully aware of what he looked like right now. His face was flushed red from running, but more concerning were his red puffy eyes, clear proof he had been crying for hours before.

Henry took an audible breath. “So you already know?”

“What?” Simon was expecting many things, but not that. 

Know about what?

“Is that why you were crying? Because of…” Henry trailed off.

Just then Simon noticed Henry’s voice. It was a little raspy and hoarse, almost as if he had been yelling for a long time.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I promise you this–” Simon getured to his face, “ –has nothing to do with it.”

“Oh.” Henry sounded both relieved and more troubled at the same time, if that was possible. “What happened?”

“Shouldn’t you tell me what happened to you first?”

“Nothing happened to me, just… You go first.”

“Okay.”

Henry let Simon into his dorm, where Simon had been millions of times before.

Simon remembered when Henry first showed Simon his dorm.

“Welcome to my humble cardboard box.” Henry had said gesturing to his dorm. “But you can call it the Hen Den.”

“I will absolutely not be calling it that. And it isn’t that bad.” Simon had argued. “Everyone’s dorm is pretty much like this, you just need to decorate it. It looks like a cardboard box because you decorated it like a cardboard box.”

“It’s terrible, Simon. You just don’t understand because you have a good roommate.”

“Wilhelm is a terrible roommate. Who’s yours?”

“It's like, Al or something.”

“Alexander?”

“I think so. He snores. So loud! He’s pestiferous!”

“I’m surprised you even know what that means.”

“I’m friends with you. I know every synonym for annoying.”

Henry’s dorm had changed since he first moved in, with the front room lightly decorated, with slight color in random objects, like the mismatched neon stools.

They walked to Henry’s room, where Henry quickly shut and locked the door, then joined Simon on Henry’s bed.

“Talk.” Henry said as he dug through a bag.

“What’s in the bag?”

“My emergency snacks. You should know this by now.” Henry smacked a bag of some gummy candy between him and Simon.  He looked up at Simon expectantly. “Now… Talk.”

Simon took a deep breath in, preparing to say everything in one breath. “So I was on a date–”

“What?!”

“You don’t have to sound so surprised!” Simon said, offended.

“No, it’s not that, just– a date? With who?” Henry looked severely confused, which just confused Simon.

“Marcus. He’s one of Ayub’s friends.”

Henry’s confusion did not clear up in the slightest judging from his face. “I– Marcus?”

“I don’t get it. What’s so confusing?”

Simon could have guessed billions, trillions even, of possible responses before even coming close to what Henry said next.

“I thought you were dating Wilhelm.”​​

“WHAT?!”

Simon choked on a gummy in his throat.

Henry looked even more confused than before if possible. “Are you not dating Wilhelm?”

Simon spent a good half-minute choking while Henry got increasingly more and more confused.

When he could finally talk, Simon choked out an incredibly intelligent response. “WHAT?!”

“I– I thought you were dating Wilhelm.”

“NO?!”

“But you guys act like boyfriends, all the time. And didn’t Wilhelm confess to you, like literally last Saturday?”

“NO?!”

“I swear you guys always look at each other like husbands.”

“NO?!”

“Oh my god, say something else.”

“Wha– What are you talking about?”

“Walter thinks you guys are dating too.”

“I– What? Why? When? How? Where? Who? Wh–”

“Well, let’s see. One, you flirt all the time. Two, you guys are literally perfect for each other. Three, you look lovingly into each other's eyes every two seconds. Four, you verbally edge each other on all the time. Five, everyone thinks you guys are gay for each other.”

Henry continued on listing things, counting them on his fingers, until he had used both hands twice.

Simon’s head was barely processing any of it.

Wilhelm and Simon?

Dating?

In Simon’s daydreams maybe.

“Henry, we’re not dating. And we’re not perfect for each other.”

Wilhelm was perfect for Simon. 

Wilhelm was perfect for practically everything. 

But Simon wasn’t perfect for Wilhelm.

“Oh my god. I can’t believe this. I thought you guys were dating for a full week.”

“We’re not. And we never will. Trust me. ” Simon assured Henry.

Henry clearly wasn’t done with this conversation, but Simon was, so he moved on.

“So basically, we were supposed to go to the movies, but Marcus decided at the last minute he didn’t feel like going to the movies, so then he decided we would go to some dinner place. And it was kinda decent for like, two minutes, but when the waiter came, Marcus started flirting with the waiter. Like full-on flirting. He didn’t even try to hide it! And when it was over, he wanted me to pay. After taking me on the worst date ever, this peabrained, dumb-ass, boil, plague sore, embossed carbuncle had the audacity to tell me to pay. After flirting– Henry, why are you laughing?!”

Henry was doubled over in laughter, his laughs so loud they were almost silent.

“What are you laughing at? Henry, stop laughing at my misfortunes!” Simon slapped Henry on the back of his head, but if anything it just made Henry laugh harder. “Stop it!”

“I can’t.” Henry barely got out the words through his laughing. “It’s too funny!”

“No it isn’t!”

“Simon, this is hilarious!”

“This is terrible!” Simon argued back, but as Henry kept laughing he couldn’t help but join in.

Now they were both laughing, so hard Simon could barely breathe.

“Wait, wait, Henry.” Simon tried to stop their laughter to no avail. “Stop, Henry, actually.” Simon tried once more, this time it worked, though it took time for both of them.

“I can’t breathe.” Henry heaved out.

“Henry. What did you want to tell me?”

That shut Henry up, the laughter immediately draining from his face. “Oh, um… about that.”

“About that?”

“It wasn’t as bad as I originally thought.”

“What did you originally think?”

“I thought…” Henry’s words trailed off, the last part of his sentence mumbled so Simon couldn’t understand it.

“What?”

“I thought that… Wilhelm cheated on you.”

“What?!”

“I saw him making out with someone, and I thought you guys were dating, so I thought he was cheating on you, and I kinda freaked out.”

Once the initial shock wore out, that’s when the realization stepped in.

Henry saw Wilhelm making out with someone.

Wilhelm was making out with someone.

Wilhelm had found someone.

Simon knew Wilhelm. Never once had he ever just hooked up with someone for fun.

Every relationship he ever had was with someone he truly cared about.

So that meant…

This was the mystery girl. The girl who Wilhelm had talked so much about. And now Henry had seen them kissing.

Oh no.

Please no.

No.

“Who was it?” Simon prayed Henry didn’t hear the obvious crack in his voice.

Henry hesitated. “Um… Felice?”

Felice.

Of course. 

It all made sense.

Felice had brown eyes, curly hair, brown if you put it in the sunlight. Simon knew her really well, just like Wilhelm had said. She had an amazing laugh, was passionate, and really smart.

“They were making out on Wilhelm’s couch.” Henry added unhelpfully.

Wilhelm and Simon’s couch. 

Simon never wanted to sit on it ever again.

“Oh.” Simon said.

Because what else could he say?

“Um… Simon?” 

“Yeah?”

“So… You know how I said that I thought Wilhelm cheated on you?”

Simon nodded hesitantly. He didn’t like the tone of Henry’s voice.

“I may have freaked out a little.”

Simon didn’t know where this was going, but he didn’t like it.

“And, as soon as Felice was gone, I may have yelled a bit. And then kinda… punched him?”

“WHAT?!”

“I thought he cheated on you!”

“Still, why would you do that?!”

“You’re my friend! He can’t cheat on you!”

“I– Is it wrong to say I’m strangely… honored?”

“Maybe just a bit.”

“You’re still really messed-up.”

“Well I didn’t know that you guys weren’t dating! Mainly because I ran away before he could explain himself.”

“OH MY GOD!”

“I’m sorry!”

A beat of silence.

Then Simon spoke. “How much did you yell? Your voice is still kinda raspy.”

“I may have yelled just a little too much. Then cursed him out. Then used every insult you ever taught me.”

“HENRY!”

“You’ve taught me too many insults!” Henry defended. “It’s not my fault, I was bound to use them at some point!”

“Yes, just not on Wille!”

A voice Simon didn’t recognize called from outside Henry’s room. “Is everything okay?”

Henry rolled his eyes. “Oh my god, SHUT UP ALEXANDER!”

“Fuck you!”

Henry showed his middle finger to the closed door even though Alexander couldn’t see him.

“Henry, be nice to your roommate.” Simon scolded, pulling down Henry’s hand.

“No, he’s a bitch!”

“Henry.”

“Ugh.” Henry groaned. “I just sucker punched a dude for you, you should be on my side!”

Simon laughed, then groaned too. “Oh, I probably should go clear that up with Wille.”

Henry winced. “Yeah. Can you tell him I’m sorry?”

“How bad was the punch?”

“Pretty bad.”

“Oh my god.” Simon got up from the bed and unlocked Henry’s door.

“Go get your not-boyfriend.”

“Oh gosh.” Simon said when Wilhelm opened the door.

Wilhelm’s face was truly a sight.

His bottom lip was busted, he had a slightly swollen purple nose to which he held an ice pack.

“I’m gonna murder that imbecile.” Simon grumbled under his breath, forcing his way past Wilhelm into his dorm. “That absolute fucking moron.” 

Wilhelm slowly followed Simon, unsure of what to say. “How… How was your date?”

“Is your nose broken?” Simon ignored his question and instead opened the medicine cabinet.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Did you take pain killers?”

“No. Was I supposed to?”

Simon resisted the urge to face-palm. “Yes!”

“Sorry.”

Simon fixed up Wilhelm’s face as much as he could. They both sat in silence, but not their usual comfortable silence. 

“He flirted with the waiter the entire time.” Simon told Wilhelm.

“What?” Wilhelm asked, confused. Then he seemed to realize what Simon was talking about. “Marcus?”

Simon nodded.

“Oh, sorry. That sucks.”

“Honestly, I’m not even sad. Didn’t like him enough for that. Hurt my ego though.”

Something spread over Wilhelm’s face.

Hope? 

But for what?

Not being able to keep it in any longer, Simon blurted the only thing on his mind. “Why did you kiss Felice?”

Wilhelm winced, but didn’t look surprised. “I don’t know. It just kind of happened.”

“Do you like her?” 

“No.”

“Why were you making out on the couch then?!” Simon was aware of how violently his questions were coming out, but he didn’t care.

“I don’t know! Why do you even care?!”

“Because you’re my best friend!”

“You’re a terrible friend! You barely talked to me for a week because you were too busy on your phone talking to Marcus! And then you skipped movie night to go out with him!”

“Because he was actually interested in me! Unlike some people!”

“I’m interested in you!”

“What?!”

“I like you Simon!”

Silence.

What?

There was no way Simon was interpreting this wrong. 

Could he?

“What?” Unlike just a second before, Simon’s voice was barely a squeak.

“You’re so dumb.” 

Wilhelm brought his hand up to Simon’s cheek, and Simon couldn’t breath.

There was no way Simon was interpreting this wrong. 

Wilhelm leans down, and their lips collide.

Chapter Text

Wilhelm was kissing Simon.

Wilhelm was kissing Simon.

He had been fantasizing about this since he was 14, and now it was happening.

Wilhelm leaned down a bit more, pressing his lips against Simon’s even harder. Simon stayed still.

Wait.

Wilhelm pulled away from Simon, to see him wide eyed and frozen.

Oh god.

Wilhelm had just kissed Simon, and Simon hadn’t kissed him back.

Wilhelm had just kissed Simon without warning, and taken away his ability to talk. To say no.

Wilhelm had just forced himself on his best friend.

Oh god.

What was he thinking?

Wilhelm jumped off the floor and tried to think of something to say. What do you say after assaulting your best friend of nine years? 

“I– I don’t– I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Oh my god.” Tears started to well up in Wilhelm’s eyes. “I shouldn’t have kissed you. This was a mistake. I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Wilhelm stumbled backwards to the door, Simon still sitting frozen with his eyes wide.

Simon opened his mouth to say something, but closed it after no sound came out.

“I’m sorry Simon.” Wilhelm choked out before slamming the door behind him. 

But an apology wasn’t going to change the fact that he had just violated Simon.

Sweet innocent Simon, who used to cry when they stepped on ants. Simon, who made frosted brownies whenever Wilhelm was sad. Simon, who was literal sunshine.

Wilhelm ran down the stairs of the building and out the door. The cold air hit him like a punch to the face (which he unfortunately had experience with), but he welcomed it, hoping for it to calm him down.

He slammed his back against the brick wall and clutched at his heart.

He just needed to focus on his breaths.

In…2…3…

Out…2…3…

It wasn’t working.

Wilhelm banged his head against the wall and clutched at both of his arms. He knew it was bad, but pain was sometimes the only way to bring himself back to his body.

Usually Simon helped him through these.

In…2…3…

Out…2…3…

Wilhelm could feel his breath gradually slowing down, and his chest stopped heaving.

He stood there for a few minutes, just staring into the nighttime abyss. In his head he counted how many red things he could see, how many lights he could see, how many hats he could see. A few people passing gave him weird looks but he couldn’t find the energy to care.

When he finally felt fully in control, he didn’t know what to do.

He obviously couldn’t go back to his dorm, he couldn’t face Simon, and Simon would want him gone. Henry and Wilhelm were close friends, but Wilhelm knew Henry would go to Simon first, and Walter would just follow Henry.

At least Simon would have support right now. Simon was the one who needed it. Why was Wilhelm panicking right now? He should’ve been on his knees begging for forgiveness from Simon, but as it was taking him effort to breathe, he didn’t think he could do that right now.

He needed Felice right now, but Wilhelm had ruined things by kissing her, and Wilhelm didn’t think he could look Sara in the eyes right now. 

Fuck it, he thought watching people pass by in pairs and trios. Aside from Simon, Felice was his best friend, and a single kiss wasn’t going to ruin their friendship.

A single kiss ruined your friendship with Simon, an annoying voice in his head said.

“Shut up.” A weird look from the girl passing by told Wilhelm that he said that aloud.

A habit he had picked up from Simon, he realized.

Wilhelm walked as fast as he could to Felice’s dorm, too exhausted to run.

The first time Wilhelm ever took this route was with Simon, at the beginning of the year when they were still figuring things out. It was when Wilhelm had tried to make pasta for him and Simon and had failed terribly, so they had just given up and decided to go to Felice and Sara’s for dinner.

“I can’t believe you messed up pasta!” Simon had complained. “That is like, the easiest thing to make!”

“No it’s not!” Wilhelm had defended. “It’s not my fault it was so easy to burn! And I don’t cook often.”

“Sometimes I forget how rich you are.”

“I’m not–”

“Don’t even try to defend yourself on this. Wille, you live in a mansion.”

“It’s not that big.”

“Wille!”

When Wilhelm finally reached and knocked on the door, Sara answered instead of Felice.

Sara sighed and rolled her eyes, an eye roll that reminded him painfully of Simon’s. “What are you doing here?”

“I just, um, wanted to see if Felice was here?” Wilhelm fiddled with the cuff of his jacket.

“Yes, she’s here.” Sara stared straight into Wilhelm’s soul, but made no move to let him in.

“Can I– Can I see her?”

“Why?” The word was almost hostile.

Sara and Wilhelm were never that close, but were usually on pretty good terms because of Felice and Simon, but clearly Sara didn't like him right now. Wilhelm assumed it was because Felice had told her about the kiss.

“I– Listen, it’s really important. I wouldn’t be here so late if it wasn’t.” Wilhelm was considering making up a lie to tell Sara, because there was no way he could tell her the truth, when Felice walked in.

“Wilhelm?” She asked, her voice groggy.

“Felice!” 

Thank god.

Felice rubbed her eyes, then did a double take as she saw Wilhelm’s face. “What happened to you?”

“I’ll tell you later. Can I talk to you?” Wilhelm fidgeted with his hands. “Not about… that.”

Felice studied his face. “Simon?” she guessed.

“Is it always that obvious?”

“Yes.” Felice said immediately.

“Do you still like Simon?” Sara said almost right after. 

“How do you know about that?”

“Do you?” She pressed.

“Yeah.” The answer came without any hesitation, but Sara didn’t seem to believe him.

“Why did you kiss Felice then?” 

Wilhelm groaned. 

Why did people keep asking him about that?

Felice whipped around to Sara, her former tiredness seemingly gone. “How do you know about that ?”

“Henry.”

“I’m going to murder that little shit.”

“So are you and Wilhelm a thing or…?” Sara prompted.

“No.” Wilhelm and Felice said in unison.

Sara seemed content with this answer, but Felice went on. “Trust me, I would never want to date him.”

Wilhelm turned to face Felice. “That’s offensive. Why wouldn’t you want to date me?”

“I love you and all, but you’re disgusting.”

“No I'm not!”

“Yes you are.”

“Well I wouldn’t want to date you either.”

“Okay.”

“You should be offended!”

“But I’m not.”

“I’m not offended eith—”

Their back-and-forth argument was cut off by a phone ringing.

Wilhelm checked his phone to see Henry calling him.

“Oh shit.” He whispered under his breath. “You guys remember how my face was a bit… messed up?”

“What do you mean ‘Do we remember’? It’s literally right in front of us.” Sara poked his nose, making Wilhelm wince.

“Henry punched me.”

“WHAT?!” Felice exclaimed.

“Why?” Sara asked, not seeming too interested.

“I’ll explain later.” Wilhelm did not want to pick up the phone, but knowing Henry, if Wilhelm didn’t answer Henry would just find Wilhelm himself.

Oh shit.

Had Simon told Henry what happened?

If Simon had, Wilhelm was already a dead man walking.

“Felice he’s gonna murder me!”

“What did you do this time?” She sighed.

“I think I might have— Sara, please don’t murder me— hurt Simme?”

“WHAT?!” This time it was Sara yelling, but instead of sounding surprised she just sounded angry.

“Let me explain!” Wilhelm dodged when she lunged for him, and Felice stood between them blocking Sara from jumping at Wilhelm.

“What do you mean you hurt Simo– Felice let go of me!”

“I didn’t mean to, I swear! You can punch me after I explain, I deserve it! Just let me talk first.”

Sara stopped struggling against Felice. “Fine. You have 1 minute.”

“I think I forced myself on Simon.” Wilhelm blurted, regretting it when Sara immediately lunged for him again. “I didn’t mean to, I swear, and I feel terrible. It was just a kiss, and pulled away as soon as I realized.”

Sara eventually tired herself out fighting Felice, so she accepted defeat and just plopped on the floor. “Explain.”

Wilhelm joined her on the floor, but kept a safe distance for obvious reasons. “He was fixing up my face after I got punched, and he asked about the Felice thing, so I told him about it, and then we kinda started fighting, and I told him I liked him, and then we kissed. And then I kinda ran away.” Wilhelm rambled through the words, pausing only once to breathe.

“Wait, you just ran away?” Felice asked. “Without talking to him about it?”

“No, you don’t get it. Felice, he didn’t kiss me back. I kissed him and he didn’t want to kiss me. I didn’t even ask before I kissed him.”

“Did you just jump on him?”

“What?”

“Did you just kiss him out of the blue,” Sara explained. “Or was there some type of thing before the kiss? Like in the movies where they just stare into each other's eyes for a full minute before they kiss.”

“I mean… We kinda looked into each other’s eyes? Like, I was right above his face for a few seconds before I leaned in.”

“So… I think he wanted to kiss you?” Felice didn’t sound very certain in that statement.

“Also, I’m pretty sure he’s liked you for a while.” Sara added. “Ew, this is disgusting. I never thought I would have to talk about my brother’s love-life.”

“So you’re saying he wanted to kiss me?” 

“No, I’m saying he might have wanted to kiss you, but he was so shocked he just didn’t react. I’m pretty sure. My brother’s an idiot, it sounds like something he would do.”

“So he might ha–”

“Wait a minute.” Felice cut Wilhelm off and slowly turned to look at Sara. “If you knew that Wilhelm liked Simon, and you knew that Simon liked Wilhelm, why didn’t you say anything?”

“I wasn’t completely sure if Simon liked him, and I’m meddling in his love-life. That’s weird.”

“That’s so stupid.”

“No it’s not!”

“Yes it is!”

“No it’s n–”

Sara was cut short by the sound of a phone ringing.

“It’s mine.” Felice said. Then added, “Oh shit. It’s Henry.”

“Decline!” Wilhelm said almost immediately.

“I can’t decline! He’s my friend.”

“I’m your better friend. Please. ” Wilhelm begged.

“Nope.” Then, before Wilhelm could protest anymore, she accepted the call and put it on speaker. 

“Hi Felice.” Henry’s voice came from the phone. “Is Wilhelm with you? I need to talk to him and he didn’t pick up when I called him.”

“Yeah he’s with me. What for?” She asked as if they hadn’t been discussing it just a second back.

“Just something about Simon.”

Despite Wilhelm violently shaking his head and mouthing ‘ NO!’ Felice gave him the phone.

Was it too late to move to Iceland? Wilhelm had heard they had beautiful waterfalls there. Henry probably couldn't murder him there.

“Uh…” Wilhelm was currently trying to calculate how much a plane ticket to Iceland was. “... Hi?”

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!” Wilhelm dropped the phone when Henry yelled, and even Sara and Felice flinched at the volume of it.

“I sorry, I swear, I’m so sor–”

“WILHELM! SIMON IS CURRENTLY IN MY ROOM RIGHT NOW SOBBING HIS EYES OUT, AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU DID, BUT IT’S YOUR FAULT!”

“I didn’t mean to, I promise! Is he okay? Is there anything I can do?”

“NO HE’S NOT OKAY! HE’S SOBBING HIS EYES OUT YOU RUMP-FED RUNION!”

What the fuck was a rump-fed runion?

“Ask if you can talk to him.” Sara whispered, worry evident on her face.

“Um, Henry, can I talk to him?”

There was some whispering on the other end of the line, three voices, one of which he did not recognize, but he assumed the other was Simon.

“NO!” Henry yelled when the whispering was over.

“Please, I just want to apologize.” 

“FIRST TELL ME WHAT YOU DID YOU BONEHEADED IGNORANT–”

“Stop yelling first!” Felice shouted into the phone.

A beat of silence, then a quiet, “Sorry.”

Wilhelm mouthed ‘Thank you’ while some more unintelligible whispering happened on the other end of the call.

But the gratefulness did not last long, because not soon after Henry was yelling again.

“WHAT?!”

Sara groaned. “What now?”

“YOU SAID IT WAS A MISTAKE?!”

Now Wilhelm was confused. He was expecting Henry to yell at him for many things, but that was not the part he thought Henry would bring up. It was true, he had said that, but why was Henry bringing it up?

A voice Wilhelm didn’t recognize spoke on Henry's end of the call, sounding to be far from the phone. “Calm down.”

“Shut up Albert!” Henry snapped.

“Alexander.” The voice corrected.

“Whatever. That’s not important.”

Sara snatched the phone from Wilhelm, seemingly losing her patience. “Henry, can I talk to Simon?”

More whispering.

“He doesn’t want to talk to anyone.” Henry reported.

Even more whispering.

“Wait. Nevermind.” Henry announced. “Wilhelm, can you come over here?”

“What?” Wilhelm asked, confused. 

“He wants to talk to you, but in person. Can you come over here?”

Wilhelm was already slipping on his shoes. “I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”

The second his shoes were on, he slipped out the door, not bothering to tie his shoes, and ran through the cold night air towards Simon.

Chapter Text

“I can’t believe this.” Henry had repeated the phrase several times since Felice had hung up the call, and didn’t show any sign of stopping.

“I think it was just a misunderstanding.” Alexander said from his spot on the floor, since Henry refused to let him on the bed where Simon sat bundled in blankets.

“Why are you even here?” Henry asked, shoving his mouth with Skittles.

“This is my dorm too.”

“This is my room.”

Simon stuck his head out from the blanket burrito he had become. “Will you guys please talk about literally anything else? You’ve been having the same argument for the last 10 minutes.”

“Where is Wilhelm? If that prat was lying about coming here, I swear to god–”

“Henry, why would he lie about that?” Alexander tried to snatch some candy from Henry but got his hand swatted away.

“Because he’s a git. Why would he kiss you, and then run away? He literally made the move.”

“He also said it was a mistake.” Simon grumbled.

“I can’t believe this.”

“Stop saying that!” Alexander exclaimed.

“But I can’t!” Henry argued. “This is unbelievable!”

Whatever response Alexander could have come up with was interrupted by a knock on the door, causing all three of them to sit up.

“I’ll get it.” Alexander volunteered, standing up. “Just so Henry doesn’t… do anything.”

“That was one time!” Henry defended.

“But you would probably do it again.”

After a pause, Henry agreed, “I would.”

Alexander left the room, and a few seconds later, Simon heard the door open.

From Henry’s room, Simon heard a breathless voice that was undeniably Wilhelm’s. “Hey. Can I talk to Simon?”

“Yeah.” Alexander’s voice says.

“Thanks.”

Simon heard footsteps coming towards them and then the door was slowly pushed open, and Wilhelm stood in the doorframe.

He was almost completely soaked, rain water dripping off him onto the carpet, which visibly pained Alexander. His face was red and he looked out of breath, as if he had just been running.

And he, as always, looked amazing.

Simon’s face turned bright red at the sight of WIlhelm, which Henry rolled his eyes at.

“Simme.” Wilhelm breathed out as soon as he saw Simon.

“Uh– Wha– Um?” was Simon’s very intelligent response.

“Okay.” Alexander cut in. “Henry let’s go, you two can talk.”

“I don’t want to go!” Henry protested.

“Henry, we’re going.”

“Can’t I stay?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“You know why not.”

“Fine.” Henry groaned, walking to the door, making Wilhelm move out of the doorway. “Simon, if you need me, just shout out the code word.”

Wilhelm turned to Simon in confusion. “Code word? What code word?”

“There’s no code word.” Simon assured him, then turned to Henry. “Henry, what code word?”

“The code word you shout out if need me.” Henry explained as if it was common knowledge.

“We don’t have a code word.”

“Really? We’ve known each other for two years and we don’t have a code word?”

Simon nodded.

“Fine. From now on, the code word will be conflagration.” Henry decided.

“Why would that be the code word?”

“Because I said so.”

“So many words in the world, and you chose conflagra–”

Alexander cleared his throat. “Henry. Let’s go.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Alexander and Henry left the room and closed the door, which left Simon and Wilhelm alone in the room, Wilhelm awkwardly standing, dripping water onto the floor.

“Wille, you know you can get on the bed right? Instead of just standing there?” Simon suggested.

“I just don’t want to get all this water on Henry’s bed, you know. He’ll be so mad if I–”

“It’s fine, he won’t get mad. You can sit, it’ll be fine.”

“Okay.” Wilhelm sat down on the bed, keeping the maximum possible distance between him and Simon, making Simon realize getting the bed wet was probably not Wilhelm’s main concern with getting on the bed.

“Wille–” Simon started, but was cut off.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I really didn’t mean to force myself on you at all.” Wilhelm rambled. “I kinda leaned in, and it really seemed like you wanted me to kiss you–”

“Wille–”

“And I’ve been wanted to do that for a while –you’d never believe actually– so I was just really hoping that you liked me too–”

“Wille–”

“And I never would have done that if I knew that you didn’t want me to, I swear, I would never ha–”

“Wille.”

This time Wilhelm stopped talking and looked straight at Simon for the first time since he entered the room. “Yeah?”

“I– Oh god, I really don’t know where to start. Wille, I wanted to kiss you. Trust me, I really did. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything after you kissed me, I was just really shocked, and couldn’t believe it, and I just kinda, froze. But I really wanted to kiss you, I promise. You didn’t force yourself on me or anything. You would never.”

Wilhelm stared at Simon in pure confusion, sadness and guilt no longer on his face. “But– why… Henry said you were here crying your eyes out. Why then?”

Simon resisted the urge to face palm, and instead settled to just gawk at Wilhelm in disbelief.

How oblivious could one boy be?

“Because you called it a mistake! My long-time crush kissed me, and then called it a mistake. So no, I was not over here dancing in joy.”

Absolutely no recognition or realization passed over Wilhelm’s face. “I– Long time crush?”

“Oh my god.” Simon groaned.

Then the dots finally seemed to connect in WIlhelm’s head. “You like me!”

“No shit Sherlock.”

“So you wanted me to kiss you.”

Wilhelm positively beamed at the realization, which made almost all the annoyance Simon had at Wilhelm obviousness go away.

Then the realization hit Simon.

Oh my god.

Wilhelm liked him.

Wilhelm liked him.

For all the years Simon spent pining after Wilhelm, he finally liked him back.

Years of daydreaming and wishing come true.

Oh my god.

“I’m sorry.” Wilhelm blurted. “I still should have asked you before I kissed you.”

“Ask me then.” Simon said, staring straight into Wilhelm’s eyes, only letting his gaze drop to Wilhelm’s lips for a second.

“What?”

“Ask.”

“Oh.” Wilhelm breathed out a laugh. “Can… Can I kiss you?”

Simon immediately grabbed Wilhelm’s collar to bring his lips down to Simon’s.

It was nothing like it was described in the books Simon read. It was messy, it tasted like rain and was a bit salty from Simon’s tears, and Wilhelm’s lips were rough from how often he chewed them.

But it was perfect, and maybe better than it was described in the books.

After a few moments their lips fell in sync, and one of Wilhelm’s hands came to Simon’s face while Simon’s free hand found its way to Wilhelm’s hair. The kiss so full of desire it nearly knocked the breath out of Simon.

When Simon let out a small moan of pleasure, Wilhelm took the opportunity to slip his tongue between his lips, their tongues meeting and fighting for dominance, though Wilhelm won quickly.

It was messy, it was disorganized, and it was so very wonderful.

Simon didn’t have lots of experience with kissing, but this made every other kiss he had seem insignificant, unimportant.

They scooted closer to each other, and Wilhelm dropped both his hands to Simon’s waist, lifting him onto his lap, allowing them to further deepen the ki–

A loud knock on the door, making Simon and Wilhelm jump off eachother.

“How’s it going in there?” Henry’s loud voice sounded from behind the door.

“Great.” Wilhelm said. “Amazing. Um, Henry, we still need to work out a few things, so if you could give us some time.”

“Yeah, yup, of course.”

They both sat in silence until Henry’s footsteps sounded far enough away, which gave Simon time to look properly at Wilhelm.

Simon had no idea how he looked, but Wilhelm looked thoroughly kissed. His lips were red and swollen, and his hair was tremendously disheveled. His face was even redder than it had been before, and a spot of his shirt was scrunched up from how hard Simon had been gripping it.

They sat for a bit, catching their breaths and slowing down their racing hearts, until Simon said the first words.

“Oh my god.”

“Oh my god.” Wilhelm agreed with a small laugh.

“So… What do we do now?”

“We need to talk.” Wilhelm said immediately. “We need to sort out everything right now so there’s no more confusion and we’re on the same page.”

“Yeah, that would probably be for the best.” Simon paused. “Wille… I like you. Like, really like you.”

“I really like you too.”

“So what are we then?”

“What do you want to be?”

“Boyfriends.” Simon said without hesitation. “I want to date you. But if you don’t want to, it's cool.”

“No!” Wilhelm blurted. “I want to date you! I would love that.”

Simon didn’t even try to hide the big smile that appeared on his face. “Don’t we have to actually go on dates before we’re officially considered ‘dating’?”

“Probably.” Wilhelm nodded. “Does this count as a date?”

Simon looked around Henry’s room, the candy wrappers and dirty clothes on the floor. “This isn’t very romantic. I really don’t want this to be our first date.”

“It won’t then. Next weekend, I’ll take you on a romantic date.” Wilhelm promised.

Simon smiled even wider at that if it was possible. “Yeah. I’d like that. Though, to be fair, you running here in the rain is pretty romantic.”

“It is.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a bit before Simon started giggling.

“What are you laughing at?” Wilhelm asked, laughing a bit himself at how cute Simon looked when he laughed.

“We were both so oblivious. Looking back at it now, it was so obvious. How did neither of us realize?”

“You didn’t realize for so long, Simme. I’ve liked you forever, and you never realized.”

“I bet I’ve liked you for longer.”

“There’s no way.”

“When did you start liking me?”

“When I was 14. Four-teen.” Wilhelm sounded out the word to give it more emphasis. “Can you believe that?”

“I can actually. I’ve liked you since I was 13. I beat you by a year.”

“Damn it.” But Wilhelm’s tone and face didn’t match his words, as there was nothing more than adoration in his voice and eyes.

“We wasted so much time.” Simon leaned back against the wall and put one hand in Wilhelm’s hair, mindlessly playing with it.

Wilhelm stayed silent, then suddenly jumped, making Simon pull back his hand. “Oh my god!”

“What?!” Simon said, equally panicked, although he didn’t know what for.

“I just realized, when you were telling me about the guy you liked, and how you changed your eye color for him, that was me!”

Simon breathed a breath of relief realizing it was nothing important, and leaned back against the wall. “Yeah.”

“Simme.” Wilhelm’s voice didn’t seem to be calming down. “You changed yourself because of me.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s terrible!” Wilhelm turned so he was looking straight at Simon and gently cupped Simon’s face with both his hands. “Simme, whatever I did to make you feel like you had to change yourself, tell me right now, and I promise I’ll never do it again. Okay? Never.”

“It’s fine, it really was nothing.” Simon waved it off, but Wilhelm didn’t accept it.

“No. You’re the most perfect person I’ve ever met. You know that right? So just tell me what I did, please, and I’ll never do it again, because you’re perfect just like this.”

Simon hesitated, before telling him. “It’s really nothing, I kinda overreacted. It’s just, last week, when you were telling us about the person you liked, I just really wanted to be like them, so I thought you would like me if I just… changed a few things.”

“Simme, all that was about you.”

“I know that now.”

“And it was all true. You do have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen, and you do have the best laugh, and you are the smartest person I know. You’re beautiful, and perfect, and kind. You need to know that. I need to know you know that.”

And, oh, Simon wanted to cry at that.

“I know that now.”

“Good.” Wilhelm placed a kiss on Simon's forehead. Neither of them were used to the gesture, and it was a little stiff, but it was comforting nonetheless. Then he added, with a small chuckle, “I can’t believe you wore green eye contacts because of that.”

“That’s not even the worst of it.” Simon laughed. “I almost straightened my hair!”

“What?!”

“Yeah!”

“Oh my god!” Wilhelm brought a hand up to Simon’s hair. “Please never straighten your hair, I am begging you.”

“Don’t worry, I only considered it for a few seconds.”

“That’s more than you should have ever considered it for.”

When their laughter died down, Wilhelm glanced at the clock on the wall and flashed Simon a mischievous smile.

“I’m guessing we have about 5 minutes before Henry comes to check on us again.”

“That’s a lot of time.” Simon said.

“What are we ever to do with all that time?” Wilhelm fake-sighed.

Simon smiled at Wilhelm’s terrible acting. “I’ve got a few ideas.”

“Oh really?” Wilhelm wiggled his eyebrows, which made Simon burst into laughter.

“Oh my god, please never do that again!”

“Fine, fine, but you know I looked hot while I did it.”

“No you didn’t.”

“I really did. You know I did.”

Simon shut him up with a kiss.