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Chapter Text

October 1991

She hated it. 

She hated everything about it. 

She had tried to avoid it, but her mother had personally called Yale. 

She stood at the doorstep of a place she hadn’t been in over a year. She should knock, shouldn’t she? But it was her house. Yet she never really felt at home here. The only place she really felt at home was at her father’s apartment in D.C. But then she hadn’t lived there since he died. 

He died 7 years ago. While her mother and her were in Italy. They had come back for the funeral, but they had just as quickly gone back. Her mothers work was always the most important, even more than their marriage. However, she doubted it was a marriage of love, just rather convenience. And Emily was just a complication. Her father tried to make her feel anything but, but her mother never took a chance to not point it out. 

So she stood there. 

Should she knock?

Or 

Let herself in?

Then an idea came to mind. She walked around the house to the back yard, there stood a tree that had a branch that went to her balcony. She remembered when her father had pointed it out. She was 7 at the time, and he was about to go on another one of his work trips. 

Her room was on the second floor, and was the only thing on the second floor. Her mother's room and her study were situated on the first floor. It was a big building, about 20 rooms in total, obviously not including the dining, the recreation and ball rooms. She quite liked the space, it helped her get away from her mother. 

Tomorrow she will turn 21. Legal age to drink, but then again she was doing that since she was 14. So the date was really nothing special. Climbing the tree made her feel like she was a child. She remembered when she first climbed the tree. Her father had taught her, obviously by going first. She remembered as he stood below her, telling her that he had faith in her, and that he would catch her if she fell. That he would always catch her, no matter what. 

Once she got onto the balcony, she noticed the newly installed cameras, she immediately unplugged it from the wall. When was inside she shut the door behind her and took a minute to get in her room. It was a mixture. It had a mature sense to it, but yet it was dark and black. She supposed it somewhat reflected how she felt as a person. She could live her whole life in this room, it was more like a studio. It had its own bathroom, 2 separate areas, one for the bedroom and one for the study. The main door, that led into the rest of the house, opened into the study, after that was the bathroom, and then her own room. 

She used the study as her art room. Her father was the one who taught her to draw, since then she had gotten considerably better at it. When she opened the door, she was surprised to see a man leaning against the wall in front of it. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

Aaron Hotchner had been in this job for 6 weeks. It was his first posting after graduating from the academy. He really didn’t expect his first posting to be the Deputy Head of Security at the residence of an Ambassador. However he was lucky that it was in New York, since his family was just an hour’s drive away. Not that he wanted to see them anyway. 

His brother was in his final year of high school, he also had no idea what was to become of his future. His mother works at the local diner in town. It didn’t bring much money, and the money his father had earnt was either betted away or spent on liquor. It was often that his father would beat on them. But since then his father had gotten old, but they would still expect to have the odd beer bottle hurtled at them. 

Earlier today he had been watching the security cameras, when he saw the Ambassador's daughter’s car come into view. He saw her stand outside for at least 10 minutes before she moved. But even then she didn’t come in through the door. He switched cameras to see her in the backyard, then slowly up the tree, and lastly on the balcony staring at the camera.

Then the camera went static.

Hotchner then made his way outside the door. It  was another 20 minutes before the door in front of him opened.

Out walked her. She was beautiful, though he would never admit that out loud. He had heard from the other employee’s that she was a nightmare. He had been warned to stay away from her unless necessary. He had heard from her mother herself about how she thought her daughter was “unruly”,  as she put it. 

“One would think that you would use the door of your own house” He found himself saying before another thought. 

“You're the new one” Emily says walking past him, and down the stairs. 

Hotchner had to walk faster than he normally did to catch up to her. “Aaron Hotchner” 

She looked back at him then replied, “I know”, then started walking to the door of her mother’s office. 

She walked straight in, without even caring to knock. Hotchher decided it was best to stay outside. Though from the stories he had heard it was likely that he would hear the yelling from where he was standing. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

Emily confidently walked into her mother’s office. She wouldn’t allow herself to show her mother fear. She would be graduating in less than 2 years, and after that she planned to be as far away from her mother as possible. She already had an Internship at the CIA lined up as an Intelligence Analyst. She would go back to D.C and live in her father’s old, technically her apartment. 

When she walked into the room her mother didn’t even look up. 

“Judy, Is the Ambassador ready to talk?”

Emily and her mother had moved back to the states for her last year of High School. Elizabeth had taken a 4 year job in the U.S Department of State, doing God knows what. Emily stayed silent until her mother looked up. 

“Emily Darling, Your home. Everything is all set for tomorrow, so suggest having a good wash up, then dinner and good night's sleep. We need to look our best tomorrow.” Elizabeth looked back at her work. Emily took it as her que to leave. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

While Aaron Hotchner was waiting outside the room, his thoughts drifted to the young woman. She wasn’t what he expected. She didn’t seem anything like what he had heard. She wasn’t what he expected at all. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

The next day, Emily woke up as late as she could. Around 1 a maid was sent to her room to wake her up. The guests were set to arrive at 7. It was supposed to be an informal event, but Elizabeth thought even the most formal wasn’t formal enough. 

Emily had ended up picking a deep red full length dress that went off the shoulders and had a long slit coming up to her left thigh.

Before she knew it, it was 7 and she was standing by the door, ready to welcome the guests. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Agent Hotchner standing at the curb where the cars were pulling up. He too, was in formal wear, Emily didn’t know why, but she was noticing him more. His face, and defined shape. 

She was pulled out of her thoughts when she felt a hand on her back.

“Emily dear, put a smile on your face, the guests are here” Her mother said, walking past her to greet the first of the guests. 

The night was only 2 hours in when Emily was able to get away. The focus had ended from her the moment the guests walked in the gates. It turned into one of the many propaganda nights for her mother. Stopping by the kitchen she was able to nick a bottle of wine. She then moved into the family room, which to her memory hasn’t been used once. 

She sat in the seat that used to be her father, and popped the seal. She brought the bottle to her lips and drank. She thought of the memories of her father, and her enjoyable birthdays and the tears began to roll. It was an hour before someone came through the door. Emily prepared herself for it to be her mother, she waited for the yelling to begin. But it didn’t come.

She turned around to see Agent Hotchner standing there. 

“Are you okay?” He asks. 

“Do I look okay? That's a stupid question” her drunkenness was showing, her mother would definitely yell at her now. 

“Your right” 

“Always am, Is there something you need?” She asks 

“Your mother asked me to check on you”

“Well i Have been checked, so you can go now” Emily stood up, but as soon as she took a step she found herself falling towards the ground. 

2 arms came around her and held her up. Their warmth, enveloping her in a way she had never felt before. 

She turned her head to see Hotchner’s face just inches away from hers. She had the urge to move out and kiss him. She can see through the glint in his eyes and he was thinking the same thing. As soon as she was about to move in, Hotchner pulled back, and pulled her up to her feet.  

“Sorry” He said 

“Don’t” Emily says

“Let me walk you up to your room”

When they reached her door, she turned to face him, “Good Night” 

“Happy Birthday” He says 

“Thank you” She pauses, “Hotch”

“Hotch?” He asks 

“Hotchner is too long” She says before turning around and closing the door.

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

Aaron Hotchner, or now Hotch, thought about her as he walked down the stairs. He almost kissed his boss’s daughter. And worse, he wanted to do it again. He was screwed. 

Chapter Text

December 1991

After that night Emily had quietly left the next morning. She had just informed the guard at the gate before leaving. 

And now she was back. It was the 22nd, she had put off coming here for as long as she could. She would try to remain as invisible until she left on the 3rd. As she stood watching the door, she decided to walk through it. It was her house, why shouldn’t she. 

When she opened the door, she accidentally walked into someone, it was Hotch. 

“You used the door this time” He said

“What?” She said, distracted by him, “Ohh yes, well as someone pointed out, this is my house, why shouldn’t I?”

“Who was this wise person?” He joked, 

“See you later Hotch” She said as she climbed up the stairs to her room. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

The next day was the anniversary of her father's death. 7 years. 

She took a train from New York to D.C. She spent the whole day there. The only flowers were the ones she put. Her mother didn't have the time. She didn't have time for anything but her work. 

It was past midnight when she reached home. She walked in the door, and saw Hotch sitting on the stairs. 

“It's late” 

“I didn't know anyone cared” Emily said 

“Your mother was worried” 

“No she wasn't,” Emily said coldly, smiling. 

“No she wasn't” he repeated back

“Good night Hotch”

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

By the time Emily got up the next day, the decorations were already up. She didn't know why anyone bothered anymore. Christmas tradition ended with her father. Emily stopped wishing on shooting stars, soon after that. The only reason the decorations were there was just for show. 

Emily spent the whole day in her room, doing a spot of cleaning, and then spending the rest of the time sketching. She bought out an old set of charcoal, and drew a picture of her father. It has become a sort of tradition. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

On Christmas Day her mother had gone out for a Christmas Gala. Meaning that most of the security had gone with her. 

Emily had once again stolen a bottle of alcohol. This time going for some fiery whisky. 

She was staring at a tree when she heard Hotch come up behind her. Since when had she remembered how he walked? 

“You know, you have a lot of alcohol intake for someone who just turned 21”

“You really don't think that that was my first drink?” Emily said, turning around and walking closer to him. She was wearing heels that made them just about equal in height.

“We shouldn't” he said 

“Says Who?” she says, looking up to see mistletoe above them. 

She moved forward swiftly, and kissed him. He was intoxicating to her. More than any other drink. 

She pulls back to look at him, he then moves forward, this time his lips claiming hers. 

“Good night, Miss Prentiss” he says

“Call me Emily. Merry Christmas Hotch”.

Once she leaves he whispers, “Merry Christmas Emily” to an empty room. 

December 1991

It was the last day of the year. Hotch had been off work since Boxing day. Emily hadn't seen him since she kissed him. It worried her that she wanted to do it again. She was this type of person. She wasn't the type of person to fall in love and live happily ever after. Life was never kind to her. Yet she could already feel herself falling. 

Her mother was once again out for the night. Emily stared at the stars above her. She remembers how she and her father would spend nights gazing at the stars above them. It was one of the many things that they did together. 

She would spend hours getting lost in the world beyond her. It was like her escape, that went on forever. 

She hears a knock on her door and turns around and walks out of her balcony, to her room door. When she sees it’s Hotch she lets him in. She leads him to her balcony, and notices how his eyes wander around her room/

“I think we should talk,” says Hotch. 

“About what?”

“Us”

“Us?”

“It can't happen” says Hotch

“Why?”

“Emily, I work for you mother, not to mention I'm 7 years older than you.” he says holding her hand 

“You know father used to say that everything was written in the stars, that no matter what stood in the way, it would always come to pass. Hotch I don’t care. I feel a connection between us, I know you do to” Emily says leaning up to kiss him. 

He kisses her back, pulling her against him. “Aaron, call me Aaron” 

She pulls him into the room. They separated when the need for air got too big. 

“I’m taking you on a date tomorrow” he says hurriedly. Kissing her again and pulling her down onto the bed. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

January 1992

Emily wakes up to an empty bed. She reaches over to see if he was still there, last night's memories flashing through her head. As she sat up she heard the crunch of paper, turning to see a note on a paper, she was sure was from her desk. 

Emily,

Had to go before your mother woke up. 

8pm tonight, be ready

H, 

She smiles at his note. The small bit of worry, that said he was just using her, melted away. She got ready then headed down stairs for breakfast, with a jump in her step she thought was long gone. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

He picks her up, on a road parallel to her house. 

“Where are we going?” Emily says

“It's a surprise,” Hotch says, Emily frowns. 

When they got to the Italian restaurant Hotch had planned, it turned out it was closed. 

“Sorry” Hotch says, “The night’s ruined”

“Aaron, this is New York. Don’t worry, let's take a walk”

As the walk down the road, they walk past a cafe called, ‘l'amour et la vie’ 

“Love and Life” Emily says, “Its fitting” Dragging him in. 

Once they find a table he asks, “So how many languages do you speak?”

“French, Italian, Spanish, Arabic, Russian” She says 

“Wow” 

“That's what you get when your mother draps you to a new country every 3 years,” Emily says. 

That's when their order comes up. Emily had ordered a Mochachino, Hotch the same. Together they share a brownie. 

“It's a lot of sugar’’

“That's the point,” Emily says, rolling her eyes. 

“What are you studying at Yale?” 

“Criminology” she says

“Ooh. Are you looking to go into the FBI?” he asks 

“Maybe, I’m following my father. I have an offer for an Internship at the CIA”

“That’s in DC”

“I know, it's not confirmed yet, circumstances change” She says, squeezing his hand, and looking in his eyes. 

When he drops her back home, he gets out of the car to open her door. 

“We’re doing this, right?” Emily ask 

“For sure”

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

A few days later Emily leaves to go back to Yale. Once she had left, Hotch realised that he never got her number. That night when he gets home, there is a note on his pillow. 

Call me

Followed by her number. Hotch smiles as he strokes his thumb over her elegant writing. 

February 1992

Hotch texted her on the 1st, about Valentines Day. Her reply is short, and says that she can’t since she has to study. He isn’t sure if he believes her. He just had to hope that she wasn’t regretting anything that happened. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

Emily was on edge as soon as she saw his message. Valentine’s Day was a day she never liked, from the start, but even more since she was 15. She remembered sitting on the cold exam table, she was sure John was out partying that night. Mathew sat to her left, holding her hand the whole time. Wiping away the hot tears as they fell down her eyes. 

This date set her on edge. When she saw him a week later, she blamed the dark circles on the workload. But she can tell he doesn’t entirely believe her. 

This was a part of her past she never told anyone, not even her mother, but that was to be expected she and her mother never had a relationship. The only people who knew were her and Mathew. 

Oh, sweet Mathew. It was her fault that they both fell into drugs after this. It was her fault she wasn’t strong enough to pull him out with her. 

June 1992 

When the summer break starts Emily is actually excited to go home. She is sure that this is the first time this has happened. She spends most of the time at Aaron’s apartment, her mother not noticing because she spent the summer in D.C. Only occasionally making the trip down. 

Emily is sure time has never flown this fast. Every second of every day, she is falling. It scares her, but doesn’t want to stop. 

During the summer, they visit the Cafe 3 times more. Ordering the same every time. Aaron is sure that this will become their place. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

It was a warm summer night when they were lying in bed next to each other. Emily’s hand ghosts over a scar on his side. She is quiet, she knows how he got it, but she knows not to push him. If and when he wants to tell her she will. Before she knows it she is back at Yale in her final year. 

October 1992

Emily comes down to New York. Not mentioning it to her mother. She planned to spend the day with Aaron. With no interruptions. 

“Where are we going?” She asks, a blindfold covering her eyes, stopping her from seeing anything. 

“It's a surprise” 

When he leads her out of the car, she finds herself at the restaurant he wanted to take her to earlier in the year.  

"It's open, I called ahead,” he says, opening the door for her. Dinner was a quiet affair, but it would definitely be one of Emily’s favourite memories. After desert, which has of course a chocolate brownie

Aaron pulls out a square box and gives it to Emily. 

“What is this?” She asks 

“Open and you will find out” Aaron says

Emily opens to see a neatly arranged silver bracelet. It had one silver moon hanging off of it, surrounded by lots of little stars. This small gesture warm’s Emily’s heart in a way never before. 

“I love it” Emily says, looking up to him. She gets out of her seat, and goes to him to hug him. She had never had such a thoughtful gift. 

He picks up the bracelet and locks it around her wrist.

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

After dinner they go outside for a walk. When Emily notices it's past midnight, tears prick her eyes. Of course Aaron notices immediately. 

“What's wrong?” He says, holding her, stopping their walk 

“It's just, it's stupid. My mother didn’t call or text today” Emily said 

“Its not stupid” He says, wiping her falling tears, “I understand, Come on, we’re going back to my apartment. 

Once they get home, the clothes are off before they reach the kitchen. 

Chapter Text

November 1992

Emily had not known when Aaron’s birthday was. That was until she broke into her mothers office to check the employee records to find out. So far their relationship was the best she had so far. She was in love with him, even if she wouldn’t admit it to him. She didn’t want to admit it to him. She had secrets, and she couldn’t bear it if he rejected her after he found out. Half her mind told her to run. She would talk to her therapist about this.

Another thing she hadn’t told him. She did. She wanted to open up to her, she just didn’t know how. She had never done anything like this before. 

She put her thoughts aside, he had given her the best birthday since her father’s death. She planned to do the same for him. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

Now that she was standing at the door of his apartment she was second guessing herself. She should have asked him. She had no major things this coming week, so she decided to drive down.

She held her hand up to knock but brought it down even faster. She should have asked him. She didn’t like surprises, so why should she assume he did. He just seemed like one of those people. 

Emily gets so caught up in thought that she doesn’t even hear the door in front of her open. 

“Emily?” 

She looks at him, “Sorry, I wanted to surprise you, But it just occurred to me that you may not like surprises” Emily looks anywhere that's not his eyes. She didn’t want to see the look, she knew it was there. She can hear her mothers voice echoing in her mind, “don’t be weak, if you are, don't let anyone see”.

The next thing she knew she felt lips on hers. Strong arms were around her. Stronger than she could ever be. 

“Stop worrying. I love surprises” she heard him whisper in her ear. He pulled her into his apartment. 

“Happy Birthday” 

“How did you know?” he says taking a seat next to her on the couch.

“Stole my mother's files” she said grinning. 

“I am glad you came,” he says. 

“I have something for you” she says reaching into her bag

“Oh”

She gives him a long, but small box, “For you”

When he opens it he sees a sleek silver watch. He could tell by the look of it that it was quality, which meant it was expensive. He wasn't used to getting gifts. His house didn't do it, with mother would try to sneak what she could without his father catching her. But overtime it just wasn't worth it. 

“Is something wrong?” Emily asks, “If you don't like it, I can get it exchanged”

“Em, it's not that. I'm just not used to getting gifts” When Emily looks up at him in confusion, he says, “My home wasn't exactly, um, my father wasn't the best”

When he looks down to the floor, Emily takes the gift out of his hand and puts it on the coffee table. She moves closer to him and hugs him. 

“It's okay”

“My father was a drunk, who used to beat on my mother, my brother, and…”

When he struggles to speak she finishes his sentence, “And you”. He looks at her questioningly, “I saw your scars”

“I tried to protect, Sean as much as I could, but sometimes it wasn't enough” He pulls her closer to him. “I'm sorry, I'm ruining-”

Aaron feels a finger against his lips. “Never apologise”

Aaron picks the watch out of the box, the fine details were exquisite. He flipped over the watch to see a engraving. “What is it?”

“It's a constellation, the Scorpio” Emily said. 

Aaron looks at her cluelessly. “It's your zodiac constellation.” Emily takes the watch from him and puts it around his wrist. “This way we both have something from each other”

“I have never had to tell anyone about my father,” Aaron says. 

“Take your time, I will always be there” Emily said. 

“I feel like I can be honest with you” Aaron says. 

Guilt fills Emily. He was being honest with her and she couldn't offer him the same courtesy. 

“I see a therapist once a week” he looks at her questioningly. “I have anxiety, and daily medication”

“You didn't have to tell me if you didn't want to” he says, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. 

“I want to” she says, kissing him, “Always”

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

December 1992

Emily had made the trip down as soon as the term ended. She went straight to Aaron's apartment. She let herself, he had given her the key last time he saw her. It made Emily's heart jump, they had gotten to such a trusting place in their relationship. 

But these past few days he had become withdrawn. He was there physically, but not mentally. She would fall asleep before him, and most days he was gone before she woke. A note was left by the coffee machine, usually indicating to breakfast in the oven. She knew he would be sleeping in today, he had the late shift. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

On the 23rd, Emily got up before him. She was to get to her father today. She was sure she had mentioned it to him before, on one of their long talks. She packed her art bag, and left a note on the coffee machine. Simply telling him where she was going and that she was going to be back late. 

Once she got to DC, she took another train that got her walking distance from the cemetery. 

She laid out a blanket and sat on her father's grave. Placing a bouquet of purple and yellow flowers on his grave, she got out her pencil. 

It was a bright and sunny day and she planned to spend as long as she could. She thought of one of the many days that would spend sketching outside. She pictured her father's smiling face and put a pen to the paper. 

As the sun went down she got ready to go. She cast one last glance at where her father rested. Brushing her fingers of the letter engraved there. “Cameron Prentiss”

“See you soon daddy” Emily says, brushing her tears and walking away. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

Emily went to her mother's house. She was expecting her yesterday, seeing since the time was touching 1 am. 

She walked up to the door and entered in the code. She closes the door behind her, quietly, hoping not to wake anyone. 

But Aaron was sitting on the stairs, waiting for her. 

She walks up to him, and he to her. “I didn't see you this morning”

“I went to see-”

She gets cut of when Aaron sweeps down and claims her lips. 

“I know, go to sleep. I will see you tomorrow” he says walking past her to the door. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

The next days, Emily's mother held a small get together for her colleagues. Emily spent the time locked on her room, till she was called for dinner. She was barely paying attention, she dropped her fork at what she heard. 

“Elizabeth your flight is booked for the 3rd” 

Her mother was leaving. And she didn't tell her. But what was said next shocked her to the core. 

“They have all been reassigned”

Wait. If the Agents were reassigned that meant her mother had a new posting. She was leaving, leaving. 

Aaron knew. There was no way he couldn't have known.

Emily looked to her mother, once their eyes met, Emily hardened her eyes, then excused herself from dinner. Before the main course even came. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

She sat in her father's study, nursing her 3rd glass of Whiskey. At this point it was just water. 

Elizabeth walked in and sat on the chair opposite her. 

“When were you going to tell me?” 

“It slipped my mind,” he mother said. “You shouldn't have left dinner, it was impolite”

Emily believed her. Elizabeth was the type to let her own child, ‘slip her mind’.

“Where?” 

“Italy” 

Emily nodded, finishing her glass in one go. “You said you would stay till I graduated”

“It's only a couple of months, you will be fine.” 

Emily let out a dry laugh. “Why don't you go see dad?”

“What?”

“I go every year, you don't even send flowers. There are no photos in the house, you have erased him from your life”

“Emily-” 

“No. We used to be happy. The 3 of us. And then he left. And you did too”

“Emily-”

“Its like you don't care, you didn't even wish me happy birthday. Do you even love me?”

Emily looked at her mother's face and she had her answer. She picked up her coat and walked out. 

“Emily”

She kept walking till she reached her car. Turned the key in the ignition and drove away. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

She found herself in New York Central Park. She really shouldn't have been driving. But she didn't care. 

She could hear footsteps. She knew they were Aarons. 

“You knew”

He sat down next to her

“Where have you been reassigned?”

“New York”

“That's good” she says dryly. 

“How often do you 2 fight?”

“Less now that we don't live together, her words sting even more every time. Sometimes I wonder why I even care anymore” 

Aaron pulls Emily into a hug. “My father's name was Cameron Prentiss. He was an FBI Agent, and the Section chief of the counterterrorism unit at the D.C office. He was killed when I was 14. The year after he died, I feel apart. And my mother didn't catch me. I started drinking, smoking”

The tears were freely falling now. “I did a lot of dumb things”

“But you're here now. You got through it”

Emily looks him in the eyes, as he wipes away her falling tears. 

“Emily”

“Yes?”

“I love you”

“You love me?” she says, shocked

“You don't have to say it back. But I love you will all my heart”

“No one has said that to me since my dad died”

“Emily” he says turning her chin to face him, “I have got you, and I am never going to let go”

Chapter Text

February 1993 

Emily’s mother had left a month ago, and Aaron started his new job at the New York Office. Aaron had taken the first month to get used to his job, he was the new agent and was often on call during the night. Few days after Emily’s mother had left, Emily too left to go back to Yale, for what would be her last few months. 

Her mother said she would be back for her graduation, but the operative word being said. Judy, her mother’s assistant had called her to let her know that her mother was having the house closed in June, that meant Emily had to move out by then. She didn’t know how to tell her mother about Aaron. She had never felt anything like this before. Aaron was her forever. 

He said he loved her. 

She loved him too, admitting it out loud was the problem. It was like exposing a weakness, ripping off a bandaid. Emily didn’t know if she had the guts to do it. She would talk to her therapist next session. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

February the 14th was approaching. And Emily knew Aaron was going to ask her. So she had to do it first. She had decided that today she was going to tell him. Her therapist had helped her to understand she needed to be more open. 

Her text was short and sweet. For Aaron to meet her at her mother's house at 7pm. 

She had just changed when the doorbell rang. The house was empty. The house staff had either moved with Elizabeth or been let go. 

Emily had ordered in from one of her favourite French restaurants. She made her way down to the door, where she saw Aaron, standing there with a bouquet of purple roses. She smiled, and got onto her tiptoes to kiss him. 

She guided him towards the kitchen. The food was already on the table. They ate, Aaron finished before her. Emily just couldn't find it in herself to eat, she was too nervous for what was to happen next. 

She had brought Aaron and Desert, which happened to be chocolate covered strawberries, up to her room. 

Once the smiles and laughs had finished, she and Aaron layed down, her head over his heart. 

“I want to tell you something” she says 

“You can tell me anything”

“It's why I don't like valentines day,”

He stays silent waiting for her to speak. Just listening. 

“I got pregnant” 

His arms held her tighter. She needed it to stay together. 

“I was 15 in Italy, it was after my father's death. I fell into the wrong crowd, drinking and smoking. I had an abortion, today. I had a friend, Mathew. He went with me. 6 years ago today”

“You did what you had to do”

“Afterwards, I couldn't make peace with my decision. Neither could Mathew, he was extremely religious, and couldn't believe that after all I went through the church cast me out. and I fell in deeper, dragging him with me. Aaron. It wasn't just drinking and smoking. My 16th birthday, I overdosed. Mathew found me. It shook us both. We got our act together a year and a half later.  But by the time we were good, my mother dragged me to America.”

They lay in silence. Emily feel tears she didn't remember leaking. 

“Was Mathew the father?”

“No, it happened at a New Years party. It was John Cooley, and I was very drunk, barely remembering what happened. He was my first love, and he had so many problems. I just couldn't tell him”

Aaron sits up. “look at me”

Emily struggles to meet his gaze. When she does, she doesn't see what she expects. She sees no hate or disgust. She sees love. 

“I still love you. Unconditionally”

“I love you too” she didn't mean to say it. She didn't even know how she did. But it was done. She gave him a watery smile.

“Always” he says wiping her tears. 

“Forever” she pauses, leaning into him “I love you forever”

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

Emily must have fallen asleep, cause when she opened her eyes, sun was streaming through the curtains. There was a chill, she turned to see Aaron wasn't there. Before she could speak, Aaron came in with coffee.

“Milk, sugar and milo” he says, handing her the cup. She smiled. It warmed her heart that Aaron remembered these things. 

“So I saw these on your desk”. Aaron's says picking up sketches of himself she had done. They ranged from pen to pencil to charcoal. 

She blushed at his comments. 

“They are amazing, Memories or photos?”

“Memory”

“Brilliant, You are brilliant”. He says kissing her deeply. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

May 1993

By the end of May she had packed up her room. She had 100% sure she was never going to come back here. This place may have given her Aaron, but there was too many bad memories. Ever Since her 21st birthday, she had gained her father's will. In which she got his apartment. She had the boxes shipped there.

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

June 1993

She woke up early. Before the sun. On June the 4th. She was graduating today. She had triple majored in criminology & justice, linguistics and psychology. The first woman to take all the subjects concurrently. 

Aaron's arms wrap around her, pulling her in and out of her thoughts. “Stop thinking”

“I can't” she said wiggling free, “I have to pee”.

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

She had picked out a dress for today, and if that wasn't a surprise, it was floral, ranging in flowers for 3 different purples. It was flowy and light, made of Georgia chiffon. . 

Her mid back length hair, had the top half pinned back, and the full length fallin in curls down her back

She was doing her makeup when Aaron put his hand on her thigh. She didn't realise she was subconsciously bouncing it up and down. 

“It's okay, she said she was going to be there”

“and since when does she do what she says?” Emily says with a pointed look, “Can you-” 

She doesn't need to finish, when Aaron puts her bottle of Xanax into her hand, “Thank you” she says quietly. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

Emily stands on the stage looking out into the crowd. She had just given her valedictorian speech, which was a success. But she could still not see her mother. Aaron could be seen in the back leaning against a tree, he was smiling proudly at her. One by one they all got their certificates, she had graduated summa cum laude in all 3 of her majors. After they dispersed, she walked to Aaron and put her arms around his neck. 

“Have you seen my mother?” 

“Em” He says looking into his eyes, “Judy called. You mother couldn’t make it, something came up”

“Of course” Emily said tensely, “Does Judy know about us?”

“I think so. She won’t tell your mother” Aaron said holding her waist, “Where do you want to go now?”

“Ice Skating”

“Ice Skating?” Aaron says 

“Yes, do you know how?”

“No”

“Then I will just have to teach you” she says, leaning up to kiss him softly. “Love you”

“I love you too”

“Forever” She says. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

They next day, they are sitting on a flight to D.C. Emily takes him to see her father, which is something she had never done before. After a while he leaves to get lunch, but Emily knew it was an excuse to give her some alone time. 

“I love him, more than anyone else, Daddy” 

“You would love him, he is so kind, and strong. He makes me feel safe” 

“Mother didn’t show up to my graduation. I was holding onto false hope” 

“But I did it. I got through it.”

“Aaron really helps, I haven’t had as many nightmares or panic attacks, when I am with him”

“I wish you were here. You would be so proud of me”

Aaron chose this moment, to walk back to her, He had heard the last 3 lines she spoke, 

“I am very proud of you, and you should be too,” he says, wiping her tears. “Lets go” He helps her stand up. 

She takes him to her father’s, well, now her apartment. 

“I am redoing the whole place. I am keeping the Kitchen, dining and living the same. My father’s room is going to be my art room, It’s the sunniest”

“I will take one of the guest room’s, everything else will go” She says leading him into the study, she opens a bench, to reveal a box, enough for a child to fit in. “I used to hide in here, “Work the case” as I called it with my father” She closes the box and sits on it. 

“It's a beautiful place”

“I know”

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

They spend a week in D.C, but have to return to New York. Aaron went to the field office, and Emily started her internship at the U.N. She also worked on her application to the FBI. While yes, she could shoot, she didn;t want to be in the field. Her father's death was always in the back of her mind. 

The next month she sent in her application. If it got accepted she would go for an interview. 

Chapter Text

October 1993

Aaron surprises Emily by taking her to the cafe where they had their first date for her birthday. 23 was a long way away 21 when they meant. These were the best time of her life. Aaron completed her. 

They had a last night in bed, and a long sleep in the next day. 

She had 2 close friends, Clara Seger and Fiona Duncan. Clara, like her, was planning to go into the FBI and Fiona was going to use this experience to become a lawyer. They were the closest friends she has ever had. 

2 weeks later she is out with them at a bar. She keeps checking her phone for Aaron's messages. He always texts her, she loved how much he cared. But she had no messages tonight. 

She takes a cab with the others, luckily she is the first dropped off. When she opens the door, she see the kitchen lights are on. Walking past the dark living room, she can see Aaron hunched over the breakfast bar. 

“Aaron?”

She taps him on the shoulders, and he jolts awake. 

He tenses then says, “Emily”. 

His eyes are red, she notes. He was crying. She sober immediately. 

“Talk to me. What's wrong?”

After a minute he says, “My father died, my mother called”

“When are you going up?” 

“The weekend, mom said the funeral is on wednesday” 

She hugs him, “I know it's hard to lose a parent-”

“I’m not sad, you know he wasn’t a good father, we all knew he was dying, liver problems because of his drinking. But I feel relieved, is that wrong?”

Emily stares at him in shock, “No, it's not wrong. Do you want me to come to Virginia with you?”

“I would like that” He whispers, standing up to kiss her softly. “I love you”

“Love you too”

“Forever” he whispers in her ear, 

“Forever” She says back 

She leads him to bed, and watches as he drifts off. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

They left on Saturday morning, reaching Virginia, around early evening. Emily follows Aaron as he walks up to his house.  It was an old house, made of red bricks, with a blue door. Aaron walks in, and is immediately embraced by his mother. 

Emily stands back to allow the reunion unfold, she could see a boy of about 20 standing beside Aaron’s mother, Emily would guess that this was Sean. 

“Emily” Aaron calls her, she walks to his outstretched arm, “This is my mother”

“You can call me Anna” she says, holding out her hand for Emily to shake, “I am excited to meet the woman, who had got my son smiling like this again” She pulls Emily into a hug. 

Emily is overcome with emotion. This was a mother’s hug, she had never had one before, her own mother never cared.  It was warm and soft, and just full of love. 

That night, Emily had her first family dinner since her father died. It was a quiet affair, because of the recent loss. The funeral was to be on November 1st, which was the day before Aaron’s birthday. Emily had bought him a simple, but expensive wallet. And had also been forward enough to add a photo of them both to one of the pockets. 

Over the next few days, Emily got to know Anna and Sean, Aaron took her around the town he grew up in. His family was simple but kind and sweet. It broke Emily’s heart to think of the pain they felt under his father.  

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

The funeral was small , and short. They headed back to Aaron’s house after. Aaron and Anna had masked their feelings of resentment towards his father, Sean not so much. He had ended up storming off from the ceremony, when people started speaking about how his father was a good man. 

Anna had convinced Aaron to stay for another day to celebrate his 30th  birthday. Anna baked a cake, and they had a laughter filled dinner. Emily gave Aaron his present that night, away from his family, since they didn’t exchange gifts. 

“Bye” Aaron says to his mother, hugging her. 

“Bye, Bye Emily, it was nice to meet you” She hugs Emily. 

“Thank you for having me Anna” 

“Come back for Christmas, won’t you?”

“We promise” Aaron says, holding Emily by the waist and leading her to the car. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

December 1993

As promised, Aaron and Emily go up to Virginia for Christmas. On the way there, they stop at D.C, and stay the night in Emily’s apartment. He drive’s Emily to see her father, having lunch there, and then they drive to Virginia. Emily was quiet for the ride from D.C to Virginia, Aaron would guess it was her thinking of memories of her father. 

When they enter the house, both Anna and Sean are in the kitchen, cooking. Aaron knew Sean had a passion for cooking, was hoping that one day he could have his own restaurant. 

“So Emily, what is your family doing for Christmas?” Anna asks, during dinner. 

“Well, my mother is overseas, and my father passed away, 9 nine years ago, today actually”

The table goes silent, “I’m sorry”, she says, “We are happy to have you here, you are always welcome” 

They exchange small amounts of gifts on Christmas Day, Aaron gifts Emily s necklace. The necklace was a beautiful oval tourmaline, Aaron informed Emily it was her birthstone. It was green on the edges and a deep pink in the middle. It was surrounded by a ring of clear stone, and encased in silver. Emily’s eye’s waters at the thought and care he put into her. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

2 days later Emily went shopping, after she leaves Anna pulls Aaron aside.

“You love her, and she loves you”

“Yes” he says

Anna had something in her hand, that Aaron couldn’t quite make out. 

“Then I should give you this” She hands him a small black velvet box. 

Aaron opens the box to see a ring. A silver ring, A triangular blue sapphire in the middle, surrounded by small diamonds. 

“It was your grandmother’s ring, You get your girl” 

Aaron hugs his mother, “I will, I promise I will”

Chapter Text

March 1994

He could feel the weight of the ring, in every step he took. His mother had given him the ring before they left. He considered asking her at New Year, but the time wasn’t right. He considered Valentines but, considering her past with that date, he didn’t know if he could put that on her. 

He wanted it to be perfect. 

He wanted it to be special. 

He looked up when the door opened. Emily was home. It wasn’t often that he was home before her, but he worked the night shift. 

The moment he saw her face he knew something was wrong. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

So far her year was going great. She had never been happier. She got an interview with the FBI, and was expecting a reply soon. She had very good chances of getting in. Aaron was applying to the BAU, and she was trying to get a posting at either the D.C office or Quantico. 

She went out for lunch with Clara and Fiona, and when she got back she saw someone standing by her desk. She could tell who it was just by her posture. 

“Mother?”

“Emily dear. It's good to see you”

“You didn’t tell me you were in town”

“Can’t I just drop by to say hello”

“Mother, you don’t do anything to just say hello” Emily said leaning against her desk .

“We should talk, have lunch with me tomorrow?” 

“Sure” Emily says eyeing her mother sceptically

She still didn’t know what to think about the conversation, when she got home. When she opened the door she saw Aaron’s eye’s on her. He got up off the couch and walked toward her. 

“Hi”

“Hi,” she whispered. 

“What’s wrong?” He said, pushing a piece of hair behind her ear. 

“My mother is in town”

“Oh”

“She wants me to have lunch with her”

“Okay” Aaron says, sitting down with her. 

“Okay? Aaron. She skipped my graduation after she promised to be there” Emily exclaimed

“Just see what she wants,” he says softly, kissing her forehead, and bringing her into him. 

“Okay” she whispers. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

The next day she finds herself at the doors of one of the most expensive restaurant in new York. She walks in, and sees her mother already at the table. 2 glasses of wine in front of her.

They make small talk until they have ordered.

“So are you seeing anyone?” Elizabeth asks 

“No” Emily lies. 

“Your internship will be over soon, What are you looking to do next?”

“I am waiting for a reply from the FBI” 

“Are you doing this for him?” she asks 

“Who?” Emily says dreading her an answer

“Don’t play dumb Emily Elizabeth, I know you are dating that Aaron Hotchner, Somehow you always find the wrong people for you”

“I am not doing this for him” 

“Emily he is too old for you, you need someone better, you are a Prentiss”

“I am fine how I am”

“No, you either break up with him, or I cut you of from your trust fund”

“Do it” Emily dares, “I love him” 

“Is that not enough?Isn't he looking to apply to the BAU? Let me make this clear, if you don't break up with him, I will charge him for harassment of my daughter. He will never get a good job again.”

“Fuck you” Emily says, standing up. 

“I am going to France for a week, that's how long you have.”

Emily walked out of the building, not stopping for a second. She sits in her car for an hour debating her decisions. She knows she can't win against Elizabeth Prentiss. She has to do the best for Aaron, no matter what is means for her. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

Aaron knows something is wrong. But her guesses it's just normal for her after meeting her mother.

“How did it go?”

“She is leaving again, France” Emily says flatly. She needs to figure out how to end it. 

2 days go by, and Emily was still sullen. Aaron had to figure out what was bothering her. He wanted to marry her and she was pulling away. Did she not feel the same way? 

Doubts cloud into Aaron’s mind. 

“What’s wrong?” He says

“Nothing”

“Emily don’t lie to me” He gives her the biggest eyes

“I can’t do this anymore”

What did she mean? Do what”

“Us” She says, “Its isn’t working” Tears rolling down her face

“Emily, don’t” he says pleading.

“I have too” she says wiping her tears

“I can fix it, just tell me” tears on his face too

“No, I can’t do this, its over” 

“I thought you said forever?” He says 

“Forever, doesn't always last” She says walking out the door. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

Aaron sits there, on the floor, next to the door, Where did he go wrong? Was she cheating on him?

The next day he goes to work. Emily didn’t come that night, but he is hoping she will soon, so they can talk. He gets of work early, hoping that Emily would be home. He walks into the empty apartment. Nothing seems out of place. When he enters the bedroom, he sees her side of the closet empty. He checks the bathroom, all her medicine and toiletries are gone. 

Walking back into the bedroom, he sees a note on the pillow

Aaron, 

I am so sorry, I can’t do this anymore. 

Don’t come after me. 

Go enjoy life, 

Be happy

Find someone that you deserve

I love you  

Yours

Emily

Aaron could see the tear stains on the paper, smudging the ink. What happened? Did she cheat on him? 

Her mother had been acting weird since she had lunch with her. Did she say something to her? 

Aaron collapses on the bed beside him.  

The tears fall freely.

Reaching over to his bedside table he finds the black velvet box. 

Opening it, he sees the ring.

He should have asked her sooner. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

This is what she had to do. He would move on. She would try to. 

She was leaving the country, and never coming back. She threw away all modes of contact. After sending one last text to her mother, telling her to never contact her again. She left for London. 

Chapter Text

Aaron Hotchner searched for Emily Prentiss, but he never found her.  He could never get over her. When he said forever, he meant it. Every year the hurt got less and less. He would try to catch her at her father’s grave on the 23rd of December, but he always found flowers there waiting for him. No matter how early he went he never caught her. 

After she left, it took 2 years for him to meet someone else. He bumps into her in a coffee shop, he doesn;t recognise her at first. Hayley, the Hayley he went to college with. They hit it off, talking about old times. But thoughts that she can never be Emily nag at the back of his mind. 

Eventually, friends turn to lovers. 3 years go by. 

She comes to him, telling him she is pregnant. 

He doesn’t know what to do. Every dream of kids he had was with Emily. He lies, when he tells her he loves her. He does love her, he's just not in love with her. He lies saying he has a ring, but it's at his apartment. That night he goes home, and stares at the ring his mother gave him for Emily. 

He can’t do it, that is Emily’s ring. He can’t give it to Emily. Before work the next day he stops at the local jeweller. Pays in cash and buys a ring. It doesn’t speak to him, like Emily’s did, but it will have to do. The smile on her face makes him sink further into guilt. 

They get married at the courthouse, her baby bump showing through the plain white dress she wore. He works to get away. He knows Hayley wants him home, but he can’t do it. 

Specific dates remind him of Emily, the watch she gave him still sits on his wrist. He still can’t let go of it, of her. 

He goes by her fathers grave, laying down flowers of his own. In 2003, he saw there were no flowers. He is worried, the flowers at least told him that she was alive. When Hayley asks what's wrong he says work. He can tell she doesn’t believe him. He goes and buys another set of flowers to lay down. He wishes he could talk to her. 

On Jack's 5th Birthday, he can’t help thinking what life would be like if she stayed. Told him what was wrong, they could have fixed it. After all the hurt that was there, all that was left was Hate. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

Emily leaves, she can’t allow her mother to ruin Aaron. Anyways he deserves better than her. Maybe her mother was right afterall. 

She goes to London, and joins Interpol. Working as a desk agent, she gets promoted, because she puts so much effort in. But really she was using it to distract her from Aaron. All she wants is to be with him. She can spend hours thinking about it, if only…

She still loved him. No matter how hard she tried. Part of her wished, she could let him go, and the other past never wanted to let go. She never wanted to lie to him, Because she knows, when she said forever, she meant it. 

Clyde is what keeps her moving. From the moment they met, they were friends. He knows all about her. He walks her through her Anxiety attacks, which have gotten worse since she left America. He gets her to talk to a therapist, and makes sure she doesn’t stop. 

In 1997, she gets an offer from Clyde to join JTF-12, which is just the International BAU. The thought of it reminds her of Aaron. She checked on him, only once, he was in the BAU and with someone. The thought of him moving on makes her happy and sad at the same time. 

JTF-12 was a new experience. It was a better distraction. But in 2001, she found herself back in America. She only prays not to see Aaron. She couldn’t handle it, these days she was holding on by a fine string. She doesn’t want to live without him. She wishes she had told him. They might have figured it out together. But she can’t do it anymore. While at Quantico, she catches a glimpse of him, Which sets off an anxiety attack. Luckily Clyde came to the rescue. 

In 2002, she was offered an undercover case. She can feel Clyde's eyes on her, knowing that he caught her with her sleeves rolled up and a blade in her hand. She didn’t do anything. She was just staring. 

He pulls her aside and asks her if this is really what she wants to do, if it's all a distraction. She lies. Of course it's a distraction. And they both know it. 

The Doyle case was what it took to have her falling off the tightrope. After this case she leaves. She couldn’t do it anymore. The team falls apart, Tsia and Jeremy run off together.  Returning to London she and Clyde agree to run the London Office together. Once again it's just a distraction.  

After all the hurt she felt, all that is left is Hate. 

Chapter Text

June 2004

After all this time she just feels empty. Emily doesn't know why she agrees to go to a place which has only hurt her.  Clyde had sprung this on her last minute. The current elections in France were their main focus, they weren’t even aware of this case until it reached Paris

There was an international killer, moving around the world. They first connected the dots, in Russia. Then Paris, when he came to London, copying Jack the Ripper, they staged a trap. But he slipped from their fingers. Leaving, one officer dead and Emily with a bullet in the shoulder. Ever since then Emily has been working twice as hard to catch him. Clyde had convinced, more like instructed she be the one to go to America to catch him. They had now identified him in New York, copying Son of Sam. And she was the one going to New York. She watched as the ocean disappeared beneath her, the land that kept her safe going into the distance.

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

She and Clyde had been back to America in early 2003 to hide Declan and Louise, in Virginia, but nowhere close to D.C or New York. 

She hadn’t been back to New York since she left, 10 years ago. She used to come to D.C to lay flowers on her fathers grave, but that stopped in 2002, when she was undercover on the Doyle case. She couldn’t bring herself to go last year. She knew Aaron would have laid down flowers, she used to spend the day, she would always see Aaron bring flowers. Every year he would come earlier, probably in the hope to catch her. But she would never let herself get hurt again. 

She walked into the New York office with her head held high. She was the only Interpol agent here. But she was going to make sure her word was the rule. She had orders to bring the unsub before international court, he was not to be allowed to go into the hands of the FBI, dead or alive. 

Shaking the hand of the Chief and introducing herself, she led herself to the conference room to set up. 

She turned when she heard steps coming closer. 

“Agent Prentiss” She says, holding her hand forward.

“Agent Hansen ma’am, its an honour to meet you”

“What can I do for you?”

“I just wanted to let you know that the BAU will be here soon” he says

“The BAU, Why?” Shit, she was in trouble. 

“The bureau wants this killer caught, they are sending their best team in”  he says before walking out. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

Aaron Hotchner sat in his office at the BAU. Piles of paperwork were on his desk, he could do the same thing on the tables of his agent’s outside. Only one desk was devoid of papers belonging to the one Spencer Reid. Not to say his desk wasn’t full, it just had books.

When the phone rings he picks it up, “Hotchner”

“Aaron, its Erin, we have a case that need your attention”

“We still have paperwork from the last 5 cases we have been on back to back” 

“That's fine, only 3 of you need to do” She says, explaining the details of the case, before the line goes dead. 

Hotch stands up, pulling his gun out of his safe, then getting his go-bag. First he walks down the ramp, to Gideon’s office. Knocking on the door he says, “We are going to New York, Get your bag” then closes his door, proceeding to walk down the stairs to the bullpen. 

“Reid I need you to come with me and Gideon, we have a case in New York” Hotch says

“What about us?” Derek Morgan says 

“We don’t need everyone, Plus you still have paperwork to do” Hotch says. 

“Hah, Your not getting out of this one” Elle Greenaway says 

“Your not going either” Morgan responds 

“Who said I want to go, we just had 5 back to back cases, I need some wine and sleep” She responds. 

“We need to go,” Jason Gideon says, walking past all of them to the elevators. Reid and Hotchner follow behind 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

They brief the case on the plane. It was a short flight, the New York Office had sent a file with all the details. 

“What's going on with the Interpol Agent who brought the case?” Gideon asks. 

“Officially, This is an international case, and we just here to help out, but technically it's serial, so we should have jurisdiction” Hotch says 

“What are we going to do about that?” Reid asks

“We will just go with the flow” Hotch says 

“They almost caught him in London, one of the officers died” Gideon says

“Did they get a look at him?” Reid asks 

“Yes, there is a sketch” Hotch says, pulling out a facial portrait out of the folder. 

While taking the sketch out, he couldn’t help but focus on the, on the strokes of the pencil it was drawn with. There was something familiar about it, like a distant dream. Then it just slides into place. But it couldn’t be. The pencil marks were Emily’s. 

The thought of her brings sadness and hatred into his heart. He thought he had moved past this. He had a child, and a wife.  He hoped he was just seeing things that weren’t there. 

As they walked into the field office, they were directed to the conference room. Inside they could see a brunette woman, standing before the board, pinning up information. 

“She is younger than I expected,” Gideon says, opening the door to the room, and waiting for the others to walk in first. Once they close the door, the woman turns around. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

Emily could see 3 agents exiting the elevator. She doesn’t even need 1 second to tell that the tallest one is Aaron. She turns around facing the board, in an attempt to calm herself down. The door opens and closes behind her. She turns around, and puts her hand forward to sake theirs. 

“Emily Prentiss, I’m the chief of the London Gateway Office.” She shakes Aaron’s hand, their eyes meeting for a second before he looks away. 

“SSA Aaron Hotchner, and this is SSA Jason Gideon and Dr.Reid” 

“Pleasure to meet you” She says with a smile, that Aaron so desperately missed. But internally she was a mess. 

“Let's get started,” Gideon says, taking a seat. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

It was nearing 6 o’clock when they decided to take a break, Gideon and Reid went to go and get coffee, leaving Aaron and Emily alone. 

“It's been a while” Emily says, flicking through the papers, 

Aaron scoffs, “Em, It's been 10 years, you left, and all you can say is, it’s been a while?” He says

“I didn’t have a choice” her voice dangerously low

“You always have a choice, Emily. You made yours”

“You don’t understand” She says 

“No, I don’t. I can't. You left before we could talk. I came home to an empty house and a note”

“Aaron I was young, I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t want to ruin it”. 

“And you thought that breaking my heart was the solution? We could have talked it through, we would have faced whatever it was together” his anger was surfacing ten fold. 

“I’m sorry” She says

“Well sorry doesn’t fix everything. I have a family now, this doesn’t matter to me” he says 

“Your right, we should get back to the case” her voice cold.  “I’m going to get coffee” She says while reaching into her bag to pull out her anxiety pills. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

Once she is outside she leans against the brick wall. Her breaths now coming in shallow spells. She slowly slid down the cool brick wall, her knees coming up to her chest. She throws a pill into her mouth, gulping it down, before closing her eye, and focusing on her breathing. 

“Are you okay?” 

She sees Spencer Reid, standing across from her holding a tray of coffees. 

“How often do you get anxiety attacks?” he asks

“I don’t know” She says

“Want to talk about it” He says sitting beside her, 

She couldn’t tell him the truth, “It's my fault the agent in London was killed.” It wasn’t actually a lie, she knew it wasn’t her fault, Clyde had already talked her through this one, but she couldn’t exactly tell him about Aaron. “You know you should go back inside” Emily says wiping her tears, “back to the case, I’ll be in soon” She says with a sad smile. 

“Okay” he says, standing up, then handing her a cup of coffee, then leaving. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

The rest of the case was tense. Aaron refused to meet Emily’s eyes, or even talk to her. They were professional by all standards. Emily threw herself into the case, working hard to catch the killer, which ended with Emily having to shoot him to kill a young girl. Aaron couldn’t help but wonder if there was something more to the reason she left. 

When they reach the airport, he sees her getting onto the plane headed for England, and couldn’t help regret that he didn’t say anything. It had been 10 years, he really didn’t want it to be 10 more before he saw her again. 

Chapter Text

December 2004

Emily Prentiss stood in the middle of her London apartment, feeling the weight of her recent trip to the United States. The encounter with Aaron had stirred up emotions she thought she had buried long ago. Now, back in the familiar yet cold surroundings of London, she felt more alone than ever.

Her plies over paperwork were usually a welcome distraction, but now the stress was spilling through the cracks. The stress never got to her, but lately her anxiety levels were up, she still hadn’t properly processed seeing Aaon again. 

Emily threw herself into her work, but the memories of Aaron and Doyle kept creeping back in. The nightmares had returned. Every night, she woke up in a cold sweat, haunted by the faces of her past. Her anxiety grew, the walls of her apartment feeling like they were closing in on her.

One afternoon, while she was trying to focus on a report, her phone buzzed. It was Clyde Easter. 

Need to talk. Urgent. Meet at the coffee stand outside

Emily sighed, pushing herself up from her chair. She ran a hand through her hair, trying to compose herself before heading to the conference room. She couldn’t let Clyde see her like this

When she arrived, Clyde was already there, holding 2 cups of coffee. Passing one cup to her he began to speak. 

“Em. We have a problem. The brass want more information on Doyle, they can’t break him”

“I’m not giving them Declan, The things they would do to him to get to Ian, it’s not fair”

“I know. The think we should implement plan B” Clyde says 

Emily nods. “We both can’t go. You should stay, I can write it off as going to see my father.”

“You don’t have to do this alone, I’ll find a way” Clyde says. 

“Clyde, it was my case. You run things smoothly from here”

The trip was physically and emotionally hard. It broke Emily’s heart to have to lie to Declan. To play off such a big threat as a game of spies. He would understand once he was older. Blindfolding was a mercy not only to him and to her, she couldn’t look into his eyes while she did this. 

Lousie understood. Of course she understood. Louise was the person, aside from Declan, that got her through her undercover case. She was just so understanding and perceptive. She can remember how they used to have tea out in the garden, while watching Declan play on the grass. Lousie used to tell Emily her dreams for Declan, which were nothing like his father’s. Emily could only hope he was free to have that life now. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

March 2005

Aaron Hotchner sat at his desk at the BAU, it was past midnight, he still couldn't bring himself to go home. He knew Hayley would be waiting for him, but the guilt weighed little on his mind. Even she has been distracted lately. It wouldn’t take a profiler to know she was having an affair. 

The next thing he knew someone was knocking on his door. He lifted his head from the table to be met with sunlight coming front the windows. 

“Come in” he says, straightening his tie. 

Erin walks in. “I have a case for you, from an old friend”

“I hope it's not Interpol," Hotch says, taking the file from her. It was an abduction case. “If its an abduction case it would be better to consult the” he stops when a familiar face walks through his door. 

“Agent Hotchner”

“Ambassador Prentiss” he says standing up to greet her

“You already know each other, so I’ll let you got to it” Erin says, tapping Elizabeth’s shoulder, she leaves. 

“Let's get to work”

“Let's” Elizabeth says, coldly. 

Elizabeth was cold for the rest of the case. Aaron got the feeling that she didn’t like him very much, but then she didn’t like anyone. He wondered if Emily told her about him, it was unlikely, however, he didn’t know if he ever knew Emily. She was completely different, or maybe Aaron never saw her as herself. When he saw her 8 months ago he saw her kill someone and not even bat an eyelash. This isn’t the Emily he knew. 

The case was over, quite quickly, Aaron still didn’t see how this was a case for the BAU. When he was completing the paperwork, there was another knock on the door. He could only hope it wasn’t Strauss, she wasn’t bringing him any lucky cases. 

“Agent Hotchner”

“Ambassador Prentiss”

“I just wanted to thank you for your help today” she says motioning to walk out again 

“Elizabeth, I wanted to ask you something?”

“Go on” She said in an annoyed tone

“Have you heard from Emily lately?” he asks

Elizabeth’s expression hardened. “I haven’t seen Emily in ten years. She’s a good-for-nothing who has only ever listened to me once in her life.”

Aaron froze. “What do you mean?”

Elizabeth’s eyes flashed with anger. “The only time she ever listened to me was when I told her to leave you”

Aaron stutters. “You... you told her to leave me, and she listened?”

“Of course not, when does she ever listen? I persuaded her with the only thing she cares about” she said, shrugging. 

“Me” 

“And it worked”  Elizabeth says, “I did what I thought was best for my daughter-”

“You manipulated her”

“-And she’s been nothing but ungrateful for everything I’ve done for her.”

“You had no right to interfere-” Aaron gets cut off

Elizabeth turned to leave, but paused at the door. “Think what you will, Aaron. But remember, we all have our reasons. Good day.”

It was like she slammed the door without actually slamming it. The new information weighed heavily on him. The past ten years suddenly made a terrible kind of sense. He knew he had to find a way to reach out to Emily, to understand the full truth of what had happened. 

But one sentence echoed in his mind. 

“She left to protect me”

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

July 2005

When she went to father’s grave there were already flowers there, Aaron put them, she knew it. She wondered if he did it every year. Emily normally went and watched the sunrise with her father. 

When Emily returned to London, she was exhausted. The memories of Doyle, with flashes of Aaron, weighed heavily on her mind. The nightmares intensified, blending images of Aaron and Doyle, keeping her awake. The photos she took are still beside her bed.  

7 months have passed since she was back, and she still couldn’t shake the feeling. One evening, after another sleepless night, Clyde found her at her apartment. The door was slightly open, and he hesitated before stepping inside. 

The lights weren’t on, the room was luminated by the glow of the setting sun. The house was cold, the floors ice cold. Nothing was out of place, the only movement was of the light cotton curtains being pushing in by the wind. 

As he got closer to the window, a shadow appeared at the ledge. 

“Emily!” Clyde called out, his voice laced with concern.

She looked up, her eyes filled with a haunting emptiness. “Clyde,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. She was sitting with her legs hanging out of the window. Which Clyde happened to know was 9 stories high. 

He approached slowly, not wanting to startle her. “Come back inside, Emily. Please.”

She hesitated for a moment, looking away from him, to the setting sun.  Then swung her legs back inside, as if she was just getting out of bed. Clyde tentatively guided her to the living room, closing the window and locking it. 

He knew better than to ask if she was okay. 

“Since your work in New York, the FBI has offered you a job,” Clyde said gently. “I think it might be good for you to have some space, a fresh start. You still haven’t handed in the photo, you have had for 7 months”

Emily looked at him, her eyes brimming with tears. “I don’t know if I can, Clyde. I feel like I’m falling apart.”

Clyde placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “You’re stronger than you think, Emily. You’ve been through so much, but you don’t have to do it alone. Take the offer. It might be exactly what you need.”

Emily nodded slowly, feeling a glimmer of hope amidst the despair. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

The next day, she handed in her resignation and the photographs related to the case. 2 months later as she walked out of the Interpol office for the last time, she felt a mixture of sadness and relief. It was the end of one chapter and the beginning of another.

She knew the road ahead would be challenging, but she was ready to face it. Emily Prentiss was determined to reclaim her life, one step at a time. And maybe, just maybe, she would find peace in the process.

Chapter Text

October 2005 

Emily walks up to the front desk of the FBI. Since coming back to America, she has been living in her father’s apartment. She had it redone in 1994, but left before she had the chance to live it. She stopped by once every year at her father’s death anniversary, but only slept on the couch. There was a layer of dust over every surface. It would definitely take a while to get everything in order.  

While her key card and badge were being made her phone rings.

“Prentiss”

“Really not even a hello?”

“Clyde, what do you want?”

Emily had celebrated her birthday with Clyde before leaving. It wasn’t much of a party, since all those years ago, her birthday always reminds her of Aaron.

“Just to wish my favourite person good luck on her first day of work”

“So?”

“Good Luck”

“I’m going to need it,” Emily says. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

Erin Strauss walked into the bullpen of the BAU. 

“Anderson, Can you get Agent Rossi from his office?” The man nods and walks away. 

“Can I have your attention?” She says, sparking the attention of Agent’s Morgan, Reid, Jareau, and Garcia who were sitting around the tables. Agent Rossi walks down the catwalk and to where the team was gathered. 

“Today, you will be getting a new Unit Chief” she says, the team all make sound of confusion.

“What about Agent Hotchner?” Rossi asks clearly. 

“Agent Hotchner has been suspended for 3 weeks, and then will be heading up a white collar task force”

“Why?” Garcia asks 

“The brass believes that this tema has gone rouge, it started with Agent Gideon, and we believe that a change in management is the best way to sort this issue” 

“But-” Erin cuts Reid off, “There is nothing to argue, it's a done deal, I suggest you understand that sooner rather than later. Ohh there is the new agent now” she exclaims walking toward the elevator. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

After Emily gets handed her badge, gun and security card, they hand her her transfer papers. They look different than the one she had signs, she immediately stops, leaning against the wall she reads them. 

They tell her that she has been transferred from her position in the FBI Counterrorism Unit to one in the Behavioral Analysis Unit. To lead the A-Team. The very team she knew Aaron Hotchner led. At the bottom of the sheet was a signature belonging to Erin Strauss. 

Rage boiled in Emily’s veins. Erin Struass was one of her mother’s friends. She had met her only once, when she was about 17. But that was enough to know Erin had a similar mindset to her mother. And Emily was done being a pawn in anyone’s game. 

Emily got into the elevator, and pressed the button for the 6th floor. 

When the doors opened, she stepped out, through the glass doors she could see Erin talking to the team. 

Emily walked through the glass doors. 

“Right on time Agent Prentiss, this is the BAU” Erin Staruss said, putting her hand forward for Emily to shake. 

Emily tentatively shakes her hand. 

“This is Agent Rossi, Jareau, Morgan, Garcia, and Dr. Reid”

“We met during the case in New York last year” the kid said 

“We did” she says 

“This your team” Erins says, 

Emily nods, pulling a tight smile, “Erin, do mind if we talk?” Erin motions up the the conference room. 

Erint closes the door. 

“Why did you transfer me?” Emily asks, not caring for me volume

“I don’t understand” Erin says 

“I was to start in the counterterrorism unit, and you had me transferred to the BAU”

“The BAU was in greater need” Erin says 

“And what of Aaron Hotchner”

“Aaron Hotchner found himself a better fit somewhere else, I suggest you get to know your team.”

“What game are you playing?” Emily says, as Erin reaches for the door handle. 

“I don’t know what you mean” She says opening the door

“I refuse to be a pawn in your game, whatever you want, I want no part in it”

Emily sits down on a seat in the conference room, she reaches into her bag taking her xanax out and knocking one back. She needed to figure out what she was going to do. A knock at the door bought her out of her head. David Rossi walked into the room, taking a seat beside her. 

“You know, the BAU walls aren’t exactly sound proof” he said

“So I take it you heard everything” he nodded, “I don’t know what to do” she admitted 

“We will see” he says 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

A few days passed. Luckily they had no cases, Emily had all her files spread across the conference room, she refused to walk into Aaron’s office. When they finally did get a case she handled everything perfectly. 

After finding no solution to her problem she picks up the phone. 

“Clyde I need your help” she explains her situation to him. 

“You should have come to me sooner darling” he said

“I wanted to see if I could work is on my own first, I really shouldn't always be going to you”  she said 

“Emily, you can always come to me, no matter, I'll see what I can do” after wishing her well Clyde ends the call. 

The next day Erin Strauss is in the bullpen when Emily walks in. Coincidently the rest of the team was there, Emily must have missed the message. 

“Agent Prentiss, I just wanted to tell you, your transfer to the IRT has been accepted. Agent Hotchner will be back at the end of the month” she says bitterly,walking of and away

“What did you do?” Derek Morgan asks

“Excuse me?” she says

“I have never seen Strauss that pissed off, how did you change her mind?”

She shrugged “I have friends in high places”walking off to the conference room. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

“I hope you didn't do anything that might badly reflect you” 

Emily was startled. She saw David Rossi standing at the door. 

“I didn't do anything” she said 

He just stared at her. “You know, if you would be willing to step down, you could stay as an agent”

“No,” she says sharply. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

November 2005

She had fit into the rhythm of the team. They worked seamlessly. She might have even thought of staying if it weren’t for the fact that Aaron Hotchner worked here. Her transfer to the IRT, was a blessing, they rarely were in the states and if they were not to work to rest, so even less chance of bumping into Aaron.

4 days before she was set to leave and Aaron to come back, they were called on a case in Milwaukee. To catch a serial killer that used his son to lure out his victims. They caught him just in time before he killed again. Emily had gotten a 2x4 to the head for trouble. 

She sat by the window, staring out as the clouds moved away. 

Reid came and sat in front of her, Morgan beside him. JJ was asleep on the couch, and Rossi fixing himself a drink

“How’s your head?” Morgan asks

“Not the worst I have had” She wasn’t used to people caring how she was feeling. Aside from Clyde she would say she never had friends. 

“Agent Hotchner will be back tomorrow” She says to break the silence. 

“I wanted to ask you” Reid says, “A while ago we worked a case with an Ambassador, Ambassador Prentiss, Is she?”

“Yeah she’s my mother”

“She didn’t mention you” Morgan says

“Yeah, we don’t get along, we haven’t talked in 10 years” Emily says 

“How come?” Reid asks 

“I fell in love, and it didn’t fit her plan for me” Emily says, she stands up and moves to a seat at the back of the plane. 

Closing her eyes, she hoped the throbbing in her head would stop. She can hear Rossi, coming and sitting in front of her. 

“You know the offer to stay still stands” He says

“No, I can’t” She says 

Knowing she was hiding something he drops the topic

“You're a good agent, it was a pleasure to work with you” He says, holding out his hand. 

She takes it and shakes. “The pleasure was all mine”

Chapter Text

October 2005

He tells himself that it was a good thing. In the end it would be for the best. Not the best for him, but the best for Jack, for Hayley. It was going to be a loss for the team, they had lost both Elle and Gideon, and now him. But they would learn to live with it. 

Erin Strauss had caught him in the elevator this morning, he knew she was waiting for him. She had taken him to her office and notified him that he was suspended for a month, and he would then be transferred to another unit. 

When he enquired about the team, he was told that his replacement was arriving today, which told him, Strauss wouldn’t have taken any push back. She didn’t even let him inform the team. Sitting in his car he had a few options, he would go home and surprise Hayley. He would make the most with what he had. 

Little did he know that he would be the one who would be surprised. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

The moment he opened the door, he knew there was something wrong. There were a pair of work boots by the door, a pair that he didn’t own. Up stairs he could hear sounds from the bedroom. Sounds he never wanted to hear again. He was snapped out of his haze when the door behind him slammed shut due to the wind. And at that moment the house had pin drop silence. 

Upstairs, the bedroom door opened, and Hayley walked out only wearing a sheet. 

“Aaron” she said

He didn’t say anything, turning around and opening the door and walking out. Once in the car he didn’t know what to do. He just started driving. And driving, around 2 she sent Hayley a message. 

I’m picking Jack up

He turns his phone off, and drives to Jack school. He picks him up and takes him to the playground. Aaron stares at Jack running around the playground. How did he get here?

After he takes him for Ice Cream. Jack ate his chocolate ice cream quietly. 

“Jack”

“Dad” He says

“We need to talk”

“About what?” He says 

“Mommy and I won’t be living together anymore”

“Okay” he says, staring back at the playground, 

“Jack, do you understand?” 

His son looks back at him, “Its like Theo’s parents, they don’t love each other anymore, so his parents don't live together,  he has 2 houses”

“Jack, are you okay?”

“But you still love me Daddy right?”

Aaron stares at his son, “No matter what, I will always love you, Forever”

“I love you too, Daddy” Jack says, “Why don’t you love Mommy anymore?” 

“Grown up things”

“Your lying Daddy, I’m a big boy, I can understand” he say finishing his ice cream and staring at his father 

“Mommy hurt me-”

Jack cuts Aaron off, “So you don’t love her anymore?”

Aaron didn’t want to admit that he never loved her in the first place. “Let's go for dinner”

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

He opens the door, and Hayley is sitting at the island. 

“Come on buddy, go brush your teeth”

Jack runs up the stairs, Aaron looks at Hayley. 

“We will talk once he is asleep” He says, before following Jack up the stairs. 

When he comes down there are 2 cups of tea on the dining table. He sits down in front of her. 

“When did it start?” He asks, she starts to speak but he cuts her off, “I will know if you lie”

“Since March” she says 

That's when Elizabeth told him the truth. 

“I’m sorry” She says 

“I’ll sleep on the couch, you can have the house, I’ll file for divorce” He says 

“Aaron-” 

“We can’t fix this,” he says, knowing what she was going to say. “You're obviously not happy, this wouldn’t have happened if you were. We need to do the best for Jack, I would rather him have 2 loving divorced parents, and 2 who just fight the whole time”

They sit in silence, till Hayley get up to go to bed. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

One week later, Aaron had moved into a 2 bedroom apartment in Arlington, which was just 30 minutes away from where he used to live and Jack went to school. It was a bit further from work, but he would make it work. 

He had some lawyer friends that drew him up a divorce contract and a shared custody one. 

Jack decorated his new room, and helped Aaron with the rest of the house. 

November 2005

Aaron was embracing this freedom, he forgot how it felt. He went up to his mom’s for his birthday, Sean came too. 

When he told them of the divorce his mother said, “I never liked her”, which was her way of saying she likes Emily better. But no one brought up Emily. 

Once he got back home, there was a call on his answering machine. Strauss. She wanted to meet with him. His month was coming to an end, it was probably to inform him of his transfer location. 

He sits in front of her, he could see the annoyed look on her face.

“Your transfer has been sent back, you start at the BAU today” she said

What? How did that happen?

“Thank you,” He says. 

He was happy to be back. It would mean more time away. But he was only on a case 3 out of every 8 weeks so he figured Jack would always stay with Hayley when he was on case.

He takes the elevator up to the BAU, and sees the team standing in the bullpen looking right at him. 

“It's good to have you back” Rossi Said 

“Yeah man” Morgan said 

“How did you go the past month?” Aaron asked, he still had no idea how he got his job back. 

“It was fine, Strauss assigned another agent to lead the team, she went to the IRT now” JJ said 

“Who?” He asked

“The one we met in New York, a while ago” Reid added

“Agent Prentiss, Emily Prentiss” Garcia said

Chapter Text

December 2005

He had to talk to her. He just didn’t know where to find her. Last month he found out that Emily Prentiss was the one running his team when he was away. He knew that she now worked for the IRT, and they were always on cases, internationally. 

He was free now, he had no wife to worry about. It didn’t seem wrong for him to admit that he was still in love with Emily Prentiss in his mind. He just had to tell her now. And he knew where she would be. He headed down to the local flower shop and then drove into D.C. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

She was really enjoying being in the IRT. It was just like JTF without the terrorist which put her at ease. She was surprised to find Clara on the team, the same Clara she interned at the UN with. It was really good reconnecting with her. She missed her best friend. They had also met up with Fiona, who was one of the best lawyers in D.C. Eventually after a girls night Emily spilled the truth about why she left Aaron to them, they both didn’t hesitate to comfort her. 

Emily sat in her car. From where she was parked she could see Aaron Hotchner leaning above her father’s grave, a bouquet of flowers in his hand. She silently walks up to stand behind him. 

“I always knew it was you”

She sees him flinch out of surprise, then turn around standing to face her

“Emily”

“Aaron” 

“Can we talk?” he asks, “Maybe not today but another day?” 

“Sure” she says, still staring at her fathers grave, “2 weeks, the cafe down from my apartment in D.C, 11 am” 

He nods, sure she doesn’t see it. He watches her. She hasn’t really changed, her face is still the same. Her mid-back length hair was now cut to her shoulders. He wanted to know why. He left her there, knowing she liked to be alone with her father. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

January 2005

She wasn’t sure why she agreed to meet with him. Maybe because she was still in love with him but that didn’t matter. Last night Clara and Fiona had come over with ice cream and pretzels, which used to be a tradition for them. They had squeezed the truth about what was bothering her out of her. Then they spent the rest of the night assuring her and giving her advice. They stayed over, all 3 of them somehow fitting into her queen bed. 

In the morning they picked out her clothes, did her makeup and made breakfast. They then told her they would be here when she got back, she left and walked here. 

Sat at the corner table by the window, their old spot. Except Emily was sitting on Aaron’s seat with her back to the wall, oddly reminding her of her undercover days. Looking at her watch she sees the time 10:50 am. She was early, but there was still a nagging feeling that he wouldn’t turn up. Reaching into her bag she pulls out her bottle of Xanax and swallows one, just in time before the door chimed and Aaron walked in. 

“Emily” he says so softly and sits in front of her. Looking into her eyes. She wondered if he saw the walls she had build around herself. He may have moved on but she never could. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

He couldn’t stop staring at her. She looked radiant in the sunlight. 

“Thank you for meeting with me, I know this isn’t easy”

“It isn’t” she says tensely, “Why did you want to meet?”

“I want to talk to you about….. About what happened” 

“It's been almost 12 years, we have moved on, I think its better to leave the past in the-”

He cuts her off, “I haven’t moved on”

“Aaron you are married, you have a child” She must have found out from the team, or saw the photos in his office

“No, I got a divorce. I still love you, I have made mistakes, but loving you wasn’t one of them, by biggest regret will be letting you walk out the door that day”

“Aaron, I can’t”

“I know”

“Know what?”

“Your mother told me, I know why you left. We can start over, we can try again”

“I can’t go back. I am moving on, you should too” She says, “I’m happy”

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

Fuck. He was saying exactly what she wanted to hear. He deserves someone better. She had mistakes due to heartbreak, locked herself away, used her body for her job. She was just finding herself again. He deserves someone better. 

“Are you? You can choose your own path this time. Please”

She shook her head, “I’m sorry, for everything”

“I thought you said forever?”

God. She wanted to die. “Aaron I am not the same person anymore, I have made mistakes, you deserve someone better” She said before walking out.  

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

She sat in her bathtub. Clara and Fiona had left a few hours ago, after crying it out with her. 

Those words brought back all the memories of that day she left him. She had made the right decision, she tells herself. 

No. 

No she hadn’t.

Regret coursed through her. 

She let go. 

Sliding under the water, she watched the bubbles disappear. 

Her eyes closed. 

Suddenly her body was pulled out. 

She coughed the water out.

Strong arms circled her.

“I have got you darling”

“Clyde” Emily says, “I’m sorry” 

Clyde held her tighter, as if he was holding her together. 

“It's all going to be okay”

Tears fell out of her eye, as she clutched the chain around her neck. The same necklace Aaron gave her.

Chapter Text

February 2007

She had spent Valentine’s day alone. It seemed weird to be sitting here, after getting that call so close to the date. She doubted he knew what the date meant to her. She didn’t know why she was here. She still hated him. But at the same time she loved him too. A childhood love she could never let go. 

John had called her a week ago on the 15th. He told her they needed to meet. He sounded genuine and she couldn’t say no, even after what he did to her. 

She sat at the bar, with her drink in her hand. She was currently in between postings at the BAU. The IRT had been disbanded, and the members dispersed due to funding. She currently had 2 options, to either go into the counter terrorism department or she had been offered the chance to run the Boston Office. But she had no desire to go back to counter-terroriam or Boston. 

She sat for an hour, but no one showed up. Emily was more angry at him than ever before. 

She went home and slept. 

The next morning she is awoken by the ring of her phone. Looking at her nightstand the time had barely even reached 7. 

“Hello”

“Is this Emily Prentiss?”

“This is” she says curtly 

“I am calling from the D.C Morgue Office to let you know a person has arrived you and you are named as their last kin therefore we require you to identify him”

“OKay” She says, all evidence of sleep leaving her. “I  can be there in 30”

“That would be great” 

She puts the phone down, jumping out of bed. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

The cold chilled her to the bone as she entered the morgue, ice in her veins. 

When she got closer to the desk she saw a familiar shape standing in the room. 

“Mathew?”

“My god Emily, I didn’t know they were going to call you” he said once he turned around to see her. “You look good, better”

“You do too” she said hugging him close. 

“My name is June” They were pulled out by a voice and the sound of the table being rolled out of the freezer. “I was hoping you could identify this victim before the FBI got here, they want to interview you too”

“The FBI?” Mathew asked. 

Emily was too stunned to speak after seeing who was lying on the table. 

John. 

Emily looked up to see that Mathew had also gone quiet. After clearing her throat she speaks, “Why would the FBI want to see him and us?

“Although his COD seems to be a Heart Attack, they believe that foul play may be involved”

“Foul play?” Mathew asks

“They think he murdered Matty,” Emily whispers. 

Just as she says that, the door to the room opens. And Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid and Jennifer Jareau walk in. Emily hoped that Aaron wasn’t with them, it had been more than a year since she had walked out on him. And she couldn’t see him again. She knew if she did she would break, she regretted it the moment she left him in that coffee shop. She was trying to stay strong, but she knew it wasn’t enough. 

“Agent Prentiss” Morgan was the first to speak. 

“Agents,” Emily said. 

“You know them?” Mathew asked. 

“We work in the same building” Emily says 

“We are working this case in coordination with the D.C Police, would you mind coming down to the station for some questions?” Jareau 

“Sure” Mathew says, looking at Emily, who gives him a nod. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

When they get to the station, they are both taken to the conference room. Emily looked around, the evidence board lacked the information, Emily knew they always had. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Aaron standing by the door. His eyes are fixed right on her. 

“How long have you known John Cooley?” Morgan asks 

“We meet when we were 14 in Rome” Emily says breaking eye contact with Aaron

“When was the last time you saw him?”

“We haven’t seen him since we left Rome, 20 years ago..” Mathew says, his voice trailing off, eyes fixed on Emily. 

“Do you know about a trip he took to Galicia, Spain?”

Emily and Mathew lock eyes, “No”

“He was there with 3 others, during that time a priest was killed”

“Do you think they did it?” Emily asks

“We don’t know” 

Reid jumps in, “There were traces of several drugs on his person, do you know if he had a history of drug use?”

Emily locks eyes with Mathew,

“Yeah” Mathew cleared his throat, “He did, he started when he was 14, he had already moved onto the big stuff by the time he was 17” 

They continued to talk about general things till Mathew had to leave. Emily hugged him goodbye with promises of meeting again soon. 

Emily stood outside the precinct, taking a drag of her cigarette. 

“I thought you stopped”

“I did”

“Are you okay?” Aaron asked. 

“I'm fine,” Emily says, finally turning to face him. She throws the bud to the floor, putting it out with the heel of her shoe. Before leaving. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

A few days later she gets called down to the precinct again, for more questions. She talks more with the team, but worry blooms when Mathew doesn’t show up. As she stands to leave her phone rings. She picks it up, the eyes of the BAU team on her. 

UNKNOWN CALLER

“Hello” She says 

“E–m-m He-lp. He is at my house”

Emily instantly puts the phone on speaker. 

“Who is at your house Mathew?”

A faint voice in the background says, “Confess your sins, so the devil may loosen his hold”

Emily notices Reid and Rossi look at eachother. 

“Emily!” She hears before the phone clatters to the ground. 

And the lines cut. ,

“We need to go, Prentiss, do you know the address?” Rossi says, Emily nods

“That's definitely his voice,” Reid says, as he grabs his things. 

“Whose voice?” Emily asked

“We interviewed a priest as a suspect, but he had diplomatic immunity from the vatican. Technically we still can’t arrest him” Reid informs her. 

As they reach the doors elevator, Emily pulls out her phone, and calls Clyde on a quick dial. 

“How quickly can you get me a line to the Vatican?” She says, not even bothering to address him. 

She can feel eyes on her. 

“Why?” Clyde asks

“I need a rescission of the Diplomatic Immunity, of Father Paul Silvano from the Vatican”

“Okay” She hears him say. 

Once they get to his house, she is ordered to stay outside, to which she begrudgingly agrees. The paramedics and police cars around her did nothing to quell her growing anxiety. She was cold due to the light snowfall around her, but yet it didn’t bother her. 

She felt both relief and worry, when the paramedics were called inside the house. 

After that Morgan and Hotch escorted the Father out. Once they got the car she was leaning against she heard him say, “You can’t arrest me”

“Actually” She says stepping forward, “The Vatican rescinded your status, you are to be deported on the first flight in the morning. An Interpol agent will pick you up from the FBI holding cell in the morning before the flight” She says formally. She excuses herself when she sees Mathew Being wheeled out on a stretcher. 

In the background she can hear the Father arguing with Morgan and Rossi. She walks up to the ambulance that Mathew was about to be put in. 

“Hey E” He says 

“Hi” She says, squeezing his hand with hers

“I’m going to be fine, They just want to take me to the hospital for some tests”

“That's good”

“Can we meet up sometime?”

A smile floods Emily’s face, “Yes, I’ll call you” She watches as the paramedics wheel him into the ambulance. She stays standing in the cold as the ambulance drives away. 

“I heard the IRT got disbanded” Rossi says, walking up to stand next to Emily. 

She nods. 

“You know, that spot at the BAU is still open if your willing”

“I'll think about it” Emily says 

They stay in silence a moment longer. 

“A direct line to the vatican?” Rossi smiles, Emily smiles back. “Is this how you got Strauss off our backs?”

Emily just smiles

“Do you need a ride?”

Emily remembers she doesn’t have her car, it was still at the precinct. She declines, instead opting to walk. She could feel the day’s emotion getting to her, but she shoves it down. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

The cold didn’t bother her anymore. Nothing really did. All those years working at Interpol really numbed her sense, but at the same time burdened her with the weight of what she was to do.  Sure she saved so many souls, but what about her own. She remembered how at 15 Father Gamino sentenced her to hell after she got an abortion. His words always stuck with her, and after everything she did, maybe she deserves this. If she wasn’t damned then she definitely was now.

A car driving by pulls her out of her head. She steps to the side waiting for it to pass but it never does. The window rolls down and Emily dares to look at the car. 

“Emily”

“Hotch”

“Get in, let me give you a ride” He leans over opening the door

“I’m fine walking”

“Emily its been 4 hours”

What? It can’t have been. 

She nods and gets in. It's only when she feels the heat does she realise how cold she was. 

He drives her to what she can only guess is his apartment. She follows him in but stops in her tracks when she sees a toy car on the floor.

“What about Jack?”

He is surprised she remembers his name, “He is with his aunt tonight”

Aaron guides her over to his couch, picking up a blanket and putting it around her shoulders. He brings her face to look at him. “Emily I need to see your fingers”

Aaron could see that they had lost their colour. He turned the heater up. “Emily, Talk to me”

“I don’t understand” she said with a vulnerability that she rarely ever showed 

“Don’t understand what?”

“You know I didn’t want to do it, but he got me drunk. It was a game to him but I still trusted him. I was going to see him last week but he never showed up. I don’t know why I feel like this”

Aaron pulled her into a hug, holding her tight, as if he was holding her pieces together. 

“What are you feeling?”

“I feel sad, but at the same time I feel relieved”

“That's normal Em. He hurt you, exploited you, everything you feel is normal”

They were so close, he could feel her cold breath on his face. No, he wouldn’t take advantage of her when she was vulnerable. What she needed now was just someone to lean on. 

They sat with her half draped over his lap, until he stood up to make tea for them both. 

She brought her beg to her, pulling out her bottle of Xanax. As she gulps down a pill, shoving the bottle in her bag, but not before Aaron catches a glimpse.

He hands her her tea and sits down. 

“Has it gotten better” 

Emily knows he is talking about her Anxiety. 

“Not really, it comes and goes”

They talk for a while, until Emily stills. Aaron looks to see her sleeping against his shoulder, a half cup of tea in her hand. He sets the cup on the table, and then adjusts Emily so her head is laying on his lap. He drapes another blanket over her and then one over himself, settling in to watch her sleep. 

“I know you still love me, and I love you. I know you have been hurt, but I am going to prove that I will always be there for you” He whispers the things he couldn’t say out loud.

Chapter Text

February 2007

The morning after Emily wakes up on the couch alone. The spot next to her was cold, but she wished that it wasn’t. She would be sure that Aaron wasn’t here if not for the smell of cooking coming from the kitchen. 

“Good Morning” he says, handing her a cup of coffee, knowing that was what she liked to have in the mornings. 

“Hi,” She says quietly. She feels like her 21 year old self, when she first met him. 

“I notice you still wear it” He said pointing to the necklace she was wearing. The oval tourmaline he had given to her for Christmas lots of years ago. 

“I couldn’t bring myself to put it away” She admits, taking a seat at the breakfast bar, in front of him. 

She watched him cook. She had done it so many times during their time together, he had banned her from his kitchen. 

She was brought out of her haze, when a plate was placed in front of her. Scrambled eggs. He remembered that she prefered them scrambled. 

They eat in silence, once both their plates were polished, she spoke. 

“I lied”

He looked up at her. 

“At the cafe, I lied”

“I know you did” he said softly, “you have this soft look in your eyes, I always know when your lying”

“I'm so sorry”

“I know, it's okay, I'm sorry too. I know you were doing what you thought was best” he said, taking his hand in her on the table. 

She was startled, when it happened she didn't think she would ever feel her hand in his again. And oh how she missed it. She didn't realise what she was missing until now. 

“What you said in the diner, I feel the same way”

“You do?”

“I don't look like I'm lying do I?” she softly jokes. 

“No, I believe you” he said as a smile spread on his face.

They make some talk for a few minutes until he stands up. He walks to stand in front of her. 

“I love you,” he says, leaning forward to kiss her. 

It felt like drugs to her. Like she was being breathed back to life. 

As they split apart she could feel tears welling up in her eyes. 

“I love you too”. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

She spends the day at his apartment. It was a good idea, since at about lunch she felt a cold coming on. By the afternoon she was sick, in a way she hadn't been in a while. 

At about 3 her phone chimes. She swears when she sees the incoming message. 

“Everything okay?” Aaron asks 

“Remember” Achoo! “remem” Achoo!, “You know the space you have in your team, I applied for it, you know I was going to use it to talk to you”

“And they would be fools to turn you down”

“But what about us?” she asks. 

“There is no need to worry, no one needs to know, not yet, we will go with the flow.”

“Okay” she says coughing. 

“Why don't you lie down, you don't sound too good” He says holding up a throw from the arm of the couch. 

She wants to object, but her body protests, she can feel the need of sleep coming on. As she presses into the couch, he carefully drapes the blanket over her, making sure she is fully covered. 

Aaron leaves to get her a glass of water from the kitchen, but by the time he’s back, she is sound asleep. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

Once again she is awoken by the scent of food drifting through the apartment. Slowly rising to her feet she pulls the blanket across her back, and makes her way to the kitchen. 

“You are just in time for dinner” He says as he sees her. They make eye contact, and he motions for her to take a seat at the table. 

Putting a bowl of soup in front of her, he takes the seat opposite her. 

Dinner is a silent affair, with only the occasional small talk. Once they are done, he takes the plate to wash. Emily tries to offer but is turned down by just a look from him. She instead opts to dry the dishes as he washes. 

“Where did you go?”

“London, I had an offer from Interpol, I took it.”

“You didn’t tell me”

“It was a big move, I was planning to turn it down.”

“You could have told me”

“There wasn’t a point, I wouldn’t have asked you to move for me”

“I meant you could have told you when your mother came to you”

“Aaron,” She says, meeting his eyes. “I, I didn’t know what to do”

“You could have come to me”

“I know, but I was scared. I knew what my mother could do, and I wanted the best for you. Even if it meant it wasn’t me.”

“Have you talked to your mother since?” he says, passing her the last dish. 

“No” She admits putting the plate away, “For what it’s worth, I regret it, both times. I wished I had picked you, both times.” 

He leads her to the bathroom, and hands her a towel along with a shirt and a jogger. She smiles as she thinks about how she loved to wear his clothes. Somehow it made her feel closer to him.

Brushing her hair, she takes in the bathroom. It's clear that a kid lives here, by the spiderman toothbrush on the counter top. It is interesting how you can tell a lot about someone’s life by the stuff they keep.

Doubt creeps into Emily’s mind. It's clear by her surroundings that Aaron had moved on. She couldn’t push her way into this. There is no way that she could ever live up to the mother of his child. Walking out the door, she walks back to Aaron’s room. 

She finds him changed and sitting on the bed. When she sits down next to him, she knows she can’t ignore the anxiety she feels growing. She knows she has to tell him. 

“Aaron”

His eyes snap to hers. 

“I need to know what this is to you” She says gesturing between them” 

When he is silent, she can’t sit still. She stands slightly swaying. 

“I know it was my fault, but I don’t think I could take another heartbreak. Cause if you don’t feel the same about me anymore, its okay I understand”

“Hey” he stand up, holding her shoulders still, grounding her. “I love you, I have never stopped loving you, and I never will. I have loved you since the day that we met”

Tears well up in her eyes.”I’m sorry” She begins sobbing. 

He embraces her tight. 

“I’m sorry, I never should have left, I should have come to you”

“Hey” He says cupping her cheek, forcing her eyes to meet his own. “I know that you did what you thought was best. The past is in the past. Lets focus on what the future has for us now”

She nods against his chest. He kisses her forehead, and brings her over to the bed. Once she is tucked in he moves to leave, intending to sleep on the couch. 

But she grabs his hand, stilling him. 

“Stay”

And he does. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

In the morning they wake up curled into one another. But chose to both not comment on it. After breakfast he offers to drive her to her car. 

“And you will pick up Jack afterwards?”

“Yeah his aunt lives close by”

“He isn’t at Hayley’s?”

Emily can feel the chill in the air as time freezes. 

“Emily”

“What?”

“Hayley died”

“How?”

“A serial killer from my past”

The car ride is spent explaining what happened. Emily silent, but actively listening 

“When?”

“Just over 10 months ago”

“How’s Jack?”

“He is doing better?”

“And you?”

“Better that your here”

She smiles at the sentiment. He drops her off at the station. 

“Where are you staying?”

“At my dad’s place, I’ll see you Monday”

Chapter Text

March 2007

Emily had joined the team just 2 weeks ago and she already felt at home with them. They easily accepted her into the fold, but perhaps that was just since they didn’t know her that well. She was sure that if they knew of her past they would have a different opinion. 

“Round table room” Hotch yelled out of the door of his office. When he saw that people were moving he ducked back into his office. 

“Ready?” He asked

“Ready as I can be” She replied

“Don’t worry, they will love ” He kissed the top of her head and then made to leave. “Just wait a few secs before you walk in”

Hotch strode to the conference room, to his team who -including Garcia- were already waiting for him.  

“So I know things have been shaky since Elle left. But we have finally found an agent to fill the spot” 

This was the moment Emily pushed the door open. 

“Let me introduce you to Agent Emily Prentiss, I am sure most of you remember her” 

Emily stood next to Hotch, awkwardly in her opinion, but he would tell her later that she was perfect. 

“I’m glad you listened to me” Rossi said 

They hadn’t had any cases yet, so Emily was using her time by reading old case files trying to get a better sense of the team. She had gone back a couple of years to basically when Hotch had joined the team. 

Currently she was at a standstill, she was in the archives room staring at the box which held all the files for the Foyet case. Aaron had told her the basics of what happened, but she was drawn to the full truth, one she knew that she could never ask Hotch to give her. She knew that he would probably be mad at her for reading it, but she felt the urge to, next month would be the one year anniversary of Hayley’s death and she wanted to have all the facts if she was going to be there for Hotch. 

I took her a while to unpack all of the accounts from the team, the victim’s families and the witnesses. Foyet had a heavy profile, He was a sociopath, a cunning narcissist who got off on manipulating the authorities that he targeted into surrendering. She read about how he had done it to a previous authority and then attempted to do it on Aaron. 

He doesn’t target a specific type of victim and yet feels the need for power and control. He killed without mercy, wanting his victims to know exactly how and by whom they were going to meet their demise. But he didn’t always kill, he loved to taunt his victims, play with them psychologically. This is what he did to Agent Morgan, leaving behind the bullet letting him know that he chose to spare him, that his life was in his hands.

He was so disciplined that he was able to go on multiple killing sprees, but after controlling his urges to remain hidden for a decade, because he was so hooked onto the psychological torture that he inflicted on the authority members. His control over himself was what made him so hard to catch the first time. 

After reading through the whole box, Emily filed it away, instead becoming interested in a file with her mothers name. She remembers Aaron telling her about this, but she was more focused on the other details at the time.  

Aaron’s accounts are almost funny, it's so typical of Elizabeth to butt her way onto the case. For her to throw her name around so that people would do her bidding.  

At about 5:30 Emily realises she should head back to the bullpen so she can grab her stuff to head home. When putting her coat on, Aaron comes up to her, casually putting a hand on her waist. She looks around to see if anyone saw but realises they are the only ones in the room. 

“It's Friday, they all went home,” Aaron explains. 

“Ohh” She says as if it was obvious. 

“Em?” 

“Mmhhhmhh”

“I was wondering if you would like to meet Jack?” He asks, a small rare smile playing on his face. 

“Are you sure?, it's quite a big step?”

“Are you not ready?” He questions 

“No, its not that” She assures, “I just want to make sure that this is what you want for sure”

“It is”

“Well then, okay” she says 

He leans down to give her a soft kiss on the lips, before pushing her towards the door eager to go home. 

She follows him home, not wanting to leave her car in the bureau parking lot over the weekend. Hotch waits for her to find a parking space and then walks her up to his apartment. Hotch unlocked the door and immediately Jack came to greet him. The seven year old stuck to his fathers legs prohibiting him from moving, before running back to the kitchen. 

Emily had an awkward introduction with Jessica, Hayley’s sister, before she left for the night. 

“Jack” Aaron called him over and gesturing to Emily, “There is someone I would like you to meet, this is Emily”

“Hi” he shyly waved and then turned his attention back to his father, “Is she your girlfriend?”

“Well Jack, how would you feel if she was?” Aaron asks him.

“As long as she’s nice and gives good hugs, and you have been lonely since mommy went to heaven” Jack says, nodding. 

“I can assure she is definitely nice, and to let you in on a little secret she gives the bestest hugs,” Aaron says, winking.

“Can I go play with my toys now?” He asks, Aaron waves him off, getting up from where he was crouched at Jack's level. 

“He is just the sweetest” Emily says leaning into Aaron. 

“Are you hungry, Jack’s already eaten but there is some left over spaghetti?”

“That would be lovely,” Emily says, hanging up her coat and following Hotch into the kitchen.

Chapter Text

October 2008

It had been over a year and eight months since Emily had joined the team, and so far she seemed to be settling in quite well. 

She had celebrated a quiet birthday with Hotch and Jack. Jack had handmade her a card that she was sure Aaron had helped him with. She was still a little stunned at how quickly Jack had accepted her, she had expected a lot more push back from him about his father moving on after the death of his mother. Emily too knew what it was like to lose a parent at a young age she though, was not as young as Jack. 

The team had swiftly welcomed her into the fold, it had taken her longer to gain their full trust. Spencer Reid had been the easiest for her to connect to. He, like her, was a nerd, they bonded over facts and theories about randomist things. Garcia and her spent time together fawning over the newest and hottest celebrity drama and on shopping sprees. Morgan, she had discovered, enjoys proving to her that he was better during tac training and she of course loved to prove him wrong. JJ was not the friendliest at first, but they had now come to a somewhat flowing friendship. About Rossi she had decided it was best to stay away from him. He looked at her like he could see right through her, and all her secrets. 

For the first time in her entire relationship with Aaron, it felt stable. It felt like it was going to last. That was until the most recent case. Before the case even began, she had an unsettling feeling. It was almost like someone was watching her every move.

She had woken up this morning to find out she was alone in bed, in the past few months it had become a rare occurrence. While not on cases, Emily practically lived at Aaron’s, and only went home about once a week to get clothes. Aaron had tried to convince her many times to sell off her apartment and to move in permanently with him. But her anxiety wouldn’t let her do it. She constantly thought what if? What if Aaron left her? What if he decided she wasn’t worth it anymore? Rather than dwell on these thoughts longer, she pushed herself out of bed to go and look for Aaron. 

The clock in the kitchen told her that it was just before 7am, she found Aaron sitting at the dining table, laptop open in front of him. From the angle she was standing, she could see multiple police reports on his screen. 

“New case?” She makes her presence known. 

“Yeah, it’s a bad one” he replies, his eyes not leaving the screen. 

“I’ll call Jessica and see if she can take Jack to school”, she says. Aaron looks to her nodding his approval before looking back at the screen. 

Last year, after they both knew that they were in it for the long run, Aaron had introduced her to Jessica. He thought it would be best as Jack would have ended up telling her himself by accident, it was best coming from them. Emily has thought it would have gone worse, I mean, how would you feel if you found out that your dead sister’s husband started dating someone new, who spent lots of time around your nephew. But she had been rather kind. 

“You’ll look after him won’t you?”

“Of course, I love Jack” Emily replied

“I meant Aaron too…. He wasn’t good after Hayley died, he blamed himself, only stayed upright for Jack. But with you… I can see him becoming how he was before, happier”

“I’ll look out for them both. I promise”

“You are good together, I hope you stay that way” Jessica says before walking out of the room. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

The case was of course bad, there are no good cases, but this was perhaps one of the worst. They had been called to a town in California, where there had recently been a string of teen overdoses, resulting in deaths. But these kids weren’t the type to be messing around with drugs, they had no connecting or past records. But the way they died, there was no way that they could have done this to themselves. 

She could feel Aaron keeping an eye on her throughout the whole case, he knew of her past, of her overdose. 

She was so relieved when they caught the person responsible for driving these kids and forcing them into this. This case had affected the whole team, JJ saw her own kids in them, Reid saw himself and in a way Morgan did too. 

They had met back up at the station to pack up the files, but also to close the case. This was the worst part, they had to call the parents of the children to let them know that the person had been caught. Usually JJ or Hotch would do it, but something was telling Emily that she had to be the one to do it. She couldn’t help seeing herself in all of them, because it could have very well been her. 

The last parents had been the worst, they were a government employee, with a family with money. Their daughter had been the most recent victim, and the mother reminded her of Emily’s own mother. She simply refused to accept that her daughter would do something like this, and immediately went back to work. But on this last call, she broke, and started yelling, saying that the FBI should have done more. That the case could have been solved faster. 

As Emily ended the call, she could feel the onset of a panic attack. The walls were getting closer, the air lighter and heavier at the same time, as if she didn’t know how to breathe anymore. She stalked off to the closet room, which happened to be the record room. She rounded one of the shelves, leaning against it and sliding to the floor. The cold floor grounded her, like water pulling her under and out of the clouds. She could faintly hear the door open and footsteps approach her. 

“Em”

A warm hand cupped her cheek, and she opened her eyes. Aaron was kneeling before her, concern swimming in his eyes. 

“I’m good now” She said once her voice felt strong enough. 

He helped her to her feet, pulling her into a tight hug, gluing her pieces back together. 

“You didn’t have to call them”

“I felt like I did. I see so much of myself in those girls” 

“I know. But you're here, I’m here, we're going to be okay” He says, then leaning down to press a kiss to her lips. They usually refrained while on cases, but he determined this a special case.

But of course to their luck, this was the same moment the door opened and another person stepped in. Both Aaron and Emily turned their heads to lock eyes with David Rossi.

“Hello…. And how long has this been going on?” he inquired. 

They both gave him a look, and then turned to look at each other.

“That long huh?”

“We didn’t say anything” Emily protested

“But your eyes did…..” Roosi said before walking out of the room

“Well we would have to tell them eventually” Aaron whispers into her ears, still holding onto her tight. 

↞✦~🖤~✦↠

Once they got back to D.C. Emily decided to go to her apartment to collect some clothes before heading back to Aaron’s. As she exited the lift to the floor of her apartment, a child ran through her. When the key clicked, she slid into her home, cautiously, her hand around her gun in her purse. 

The apartment was cold, the dining room window was wide open, the wind billowing the curtains. She shut the window looking for anything else out of place, and there on the dining table something that wasn’t there the week before. 

A purple freesia…………..

Chapter Text

The flower sat on the table, its scent floating around the room, reminding her of the past she tried to bury. Emily’s hands shook as she stared at the purple freesia, its delicate leaves mocking her every move. 

A freesia. No one would assume that such a simple flower would have such a great significance. But he knew. And she knew. 

Her chest tightened, she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. She gripped the edge of the table hoping it would somehow ground her back to reality. He was supposed to be gone. But he wasn’t gone, he was coming, but just not for her. 

Aaron. Jack. The team.

Panic ripped through her, her instinct was to run, to disappear and to lead Doyle away from everyone she loved dear. But she knew he wouldn’t fall for that, he wanted revenge, to hurt her as she did him.  

A ring of her phone pulled her out of her thoughts, Aaron’s name flashing on her phone. 

“Emily?” Aaron’s voice was warm, untouched by what was to come, “Are you on your way? I thought you would have been here by now”

Her throat tightened, gripping the phone lying had never been harder.

“I—” She forced her voice steady. “Aaron, I… I can’t make it. Something came up with a friend.”

She could hear his hesitance, as he could tell she was lying. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s fine. I’ll be there later.”

Another pause, she hoped that he wouldn’t push

“All right,” he said finally, “I just picked up Jack so come by any time”

“Thanks,” she whispered, ending the call before he could add anymore. 

She and Aaron had finally reached such a good place and she knew that it was only down hill from here. Reaching into her bag she pulls her Xanax, throwing some into her mouth gulping them dry. Opening her phone she started her next call. 

“It’s bad isn’t it, I was just about to call you” She could hear his panicked British drawl, “How do you know?”

She sucked a deep breath, his confirmation making it seem more real. It appears that some part of her was hoping that he wasn’t out. “A purple freesia was left on my dining room table, I just got back from a case” 

“Fuck” Clyde said. 

Emily began pacing the length of her living room. “He’s coming, Clyde. I need protection for Hotch, Jack, and the team. They can’t know why, not yet, but I need you to put eyes on them”

“And you?”

“I’ll handle me.” Her voice cracked, “Please. Just promise me you’ll keep them safe.”

“Done,” Clyde said, with no hesitation. “But Emily your not doing this alone, I am in the car right now on the way to the airport, don’t do anything stupid till I get there”

“Just keep them safe” she hung up before he could answer.

Her apartment felt smaller with every passing second as if she could feel Doyle’s eyes on her right now casing her in.She dragged out a duffel bag and shoved clothes inside without thinking, just like she had practiced, her service weapon, as well as her personal one, extra ammo. A passport and cash tucked into the lining. Old habits she thought she’d left behind.

But no matter how much packing grounded her and got her into the mindset to leave, she couldn’t quiet the thump in her chest. She couldn’t leave again without seeing him, not without telling Aaron the truth.

By the time she pulled up to his house, her heart was hammering so hard she couldn’t hear anything else. She sat in her car for a while, watching the faint glow of a lamp in the living room window of the apartment. She watched as the lights fell like dominoes, and then she made her move. The doorman knew her by now, letting her up to the lift. 

When she reached the door, Emily clenched her fists, she had no right to be here. No right to drag him into her mess. And yet she couldn't bring herself to leave without saying good bye, at least not this time. 

When the door finally opened, Aaron was surprised to see her. “Emily? It’s late. I thought you weren’t coming”

“Can I come in?” she asked, her voice too quiet, she swayed from her heels to the balls of her feet and back again. 

Something in her expression must have stopped him from questioning further, because he stepped aside letting her in. She felt the warmth radiating from his body, as she brushed past him. 

“What’s going on?” he, as he softly pushed the door closed as not to wake Jack.

She turned to face him, every nerve in her body screaming with the weight of what she was about to do. For years, she had been trained to keep secrets, to bury truths so deep that no one could reach them. But tonight, she was going to go against everything she had been taught, because she loved him more than anything. 

“You know I love you” She started hesitantly 

“Emily, you are worrying me, talk to what's going on” he said softly, inviting her to be vulnerable with him without judgement. She hated his ability to bring down her walls as much as she loved him for it. 

“All those years back, you know I got offers from the FBI, CIA, and you knew when I left I went to Interpol. But you don’t know what I did for Interpol” she looked up, staring into his eyes, and she could see the neuron firing in his brain, “I wasn’t in a good place without you, you grounded me, and I just wanted to be in control. I got reckless. I was offered a place in the JTF-!2” 

“I don’t recognise that team”

“You wouldn’t, everything had been classified, they-........ we were essentially the international BAU, except we worked deep cover cases” 

“Spies”

She could see the resignation on his face, “yeah” 

“Were you a spy?” he whispers, softly, as if he doesn't want the answer.

“Not officially I was only assigned to one case, but it happened to be the most dangerous”

Aaron’s jaw tightened. He moved closer, pulling her down to sit with him, his eyes never leaving hers. “Start at the beginning.”

And so she did. She told him everything. About her time undercover. About Doyle. About the lies she’d told to keep him locked away, and the revenge he’d sworn when she destroyed his empire. She told him about the freesia, and she told him about Declan

“He was in jail, he was never supposed to find me,” she admitted, tears stinging her eyes. “But he’s here. He’s here, Aaron, and if I stay, he’ll come for you. For Jack. For everyone.”

For a long time, Aaron said nothing. His silence cut deeper than any scathing remark could.

Finally, he reached for her, his arms cradling her shaking body. “You should have told me sooner. You don’t carry this alone, Emily. Not anymore. Just stay here for tonight, and we will sort it all out in the morning, okay?”

The words were so steady, so certain, that for one moment, she let herself believe him. She leaned into him as his hand stayed firm against her shoulder.

“Okay” She let him hold her tighter.

But she knew what she had to do.

Hours later, when the night had gone still and Aaron had drifted into a calm sleep, Emily stood at the door. She looked back once, memorizing the sight of him, knowing it could be the last time.

Her throat burned as she whispered into the dark, “I’m sorry.”

And then she slipped out the door.