Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I do not own this universe, it belongs to Stephanie Meyer.

In this fanfic, Jacob is the same age as Bella. The differences this caused are:

• Grew up closer - they stayed in contact as much as they could, and were better friends.
• He became a werewolf before anyone else in Forks. As an alpha who did not want to lead, he stayed as a lone wolf.
  • Due to his unwillingness to share a mind with the other wolves, he learnt to form psychic barriers, immunizing him against Edward's power.

I have tried to keep all of the supernatural element's about Jacob's gifts as close to Native American beliefs as possible. I apologize if I have offended anyone through the use of this.

I try to post as often as I can, however, I do have to prioritize other work. If you want to help me make this a full-time job, support me on patreon here:

https://patreon.com/hopeful_thinking

Chapter Text

I’d never thought about dying. to be honest, I’d felt immortal, in that way that every kid does - when you’re 16, living to 80 seems like an eternity away. Though, I suppose, with everything that had happened recently, I probably should have. But like this? Never in my wildest dreams. And not in a good way.

He watched me. Watched and waited. Calm and patient, and that was the worst part. If I had to die, I’d want it to be fast, not the anticipation, waiting for him to strike. I’d say the anticipation would be worse than the experience, but I doubt it.

Of course, I wouldn’t mind dying like this. If I had to go, at least it’d be a life for a life. My sacrifice would let him live. Honourable. Maybe that’d be some brownie points, wherever I end up.

I know that if Bella had never come to Forks, I wouldn’t be in this situation. But despite the anxiety, and the horror, and the foreboding, I could never regret it. Because of her, I’d managed to glimpse a world so brilliant, that now it wouldn’t be fair to mourn it, even though I have to see it end.

So I’m doing this for her. At least, that’s what I’ll tell people. But really, I’m mostly doing it for *him*.

The hunter smirked, a playful grin so out of place in this moment that I almost laughed. Then he tried to kill me.

Chapter Text

I always preferred spending my time as a wolf. To be honest, I always felt awkward in my human skin, pretending to be something I’m not. But like this, wind rushing around me, barely touching the ground with my paws, the landscape green and soft and the perfect place to run. This is where I belong.

Once I told that to Sam, and he joked that maybe my mate was the woods. While I know it was a joke, sometimes I actually consider it - Sam always feels most at home when he’s with Emily. Never felt anything quite so perfect as the air in woods, tinged green with light filtered down from the canopy, woody and fresh. Eventually I convinced myself to phase back - Dad would worry if I was out for too long. He knows I’m a wolf, of course, but he’s sure that one day, the cold ones will come for the pack. So, I simply must be home for dinner.

“New school tomorrow, remember?”

“Yeah, of course Dad.”

I would rather spend my time on the reserve - this is where all of my friends are, but when Charlie asks, my Dad answers. Bella’s coming back, and between them, they decided that the best thing would be for her to have someone supporting her in school, and apparently the best person for the job is me - the guy she met a few times over a decade ago and can barely remember. Why not?

***

The next day, Bella ran out of her car to meet me under a tree directly outside of the school. “Were you waiting for me?” She prods, teasing.

“No, IK like to stand alone in the pouring rain for *fun*.” I say in the driest voice I can manage. She giggles and it feels fake. Like I wasn’t even trying to be funny why are you like this? Gods she’s going to piss me off.

We hurried down the little stone path lined with dark hedges. I opened the door for her, then took a deep breath before stepping inside.

It was brightly lit, and the surprising heat buffered me in a wave as I moved through. The office was small; a little waiting area with padded folding chairs, orange-flecked commercial carpet, notices and awards cluttering the walls, a big clock ticking loudly. Plants grew everywhere in large plastic pots, a nice was to add some extra greenery. The room was cut in half by a long counter, cluttered with wire baskets full of papers and brightly coloured flyers taped to its front. There were three desks behind the counter, one of which was manned by a large, red-haired woman wearing glasses.

The red-haired woman looked up. “Can I help you?”

“I’m Isabella Swan,” Bella said, stepping forward. Relief exploded in my chest - new people weren’t exactly my thing. Well, actually, *people* weren’t my thing, but new people were worse.

“Of course,” She said. She dug through a precariously stacked pile of documents on her desk til she found the ones she was looking for. “I have your schedules right here, and a map of the school.”

She brought several sheets to the counter to show us.

She went through our classes, most of which we shared, and highlighted the best route to each on the map, and gave us slips to have each teacher sign, instructing us to bring them back at the end of the day. She smiled at Bella, and hoped she would like it here in Forks. Not a single word to me though, in the whole conversation. I’m not sure whether that disappointed or relieved me.

I waited for Bella as she parked the truck, trying to memorize the map so I wouldn’t have to walk around with it stuck in front of my nose all day, probably looking a right schmuck.

We walked quickly to the sidewalk, crowded with teenagers, and we blended in almost immediately.

Once we got around the cafeteria, building three was easy to spot. A large black “3” was painted on a white square on the east corner. I forced air through my lungs, fighting through the anxiety that had appeared in my chest. I’d spend all my life with the same people - played with them after school, studied and failed exams together, all on the reserve. Here, I was alone, just as much as Bella was.

The classroom was small. The people in front of us stopped just inside the door to hand up their coats on a long rack of hooks. Bella copied them, but I hadn’t brought one - my body heat would evaporate the rain in a few minutes, and a coat might give me heatstroke.

We took out slips to the teacher, a tall, balding man whose desk had a name plate identifying him as Mr. Mason, He gawked when he saw Bella’s name, making her blush, but again, took no notice of me. He sent us to an empty desk at the back without introducing us to the class - exactly my favorite type of introduction. It was harder for our new classmates to stare while we were behind them, but somehow, they managed. Of course, all eyes were on Bella. I checked out the reading list Mr. Mason had given me; pretty basic, but I was surprised Romeo and Juliet wasn’t on there - it was one of my favorite books, and it was mandatory in my old school.

When the bell rang, a painful, shrill bussing for *my* ears, a gangly boy with acne and greasy black hair leaned across the aisle to talk to Bella.

“You’re Isabella Swan, aren’t you?” Gods, you’d think she was a celebrity.

“Bella,” She corrected.

“Where’s your next class?” He asked.

“Um, Government, with Jefferson, in building six.”

“I’m heading towards building four, I could show you the way…”

“I’m Eric,” he added.

“Thanks.” Bella smiled.

They got their jackets and headed out into the rain. Just over an hour and Bella had forgotten me already. Brilliant.

I sighed deeply as I forced myself to my feet, and began to walk to my next lesson - Spanish in building four. Guess I’d be with Eric. Can’t wait.

Just as I was about to leave, a short girl with dark hair cropped short bounced into view. “Jacob, right? I’m Alice, nice to meet you. I have Spanish too, do you want me to walk you there?”

“Uh, sure.” The surprise of someone finally talking to me, rather than Bella took me back so far that my mind left all of its thoughts somewhere ahead.

“Great!” She beamed.

I took a breath, and my muscles locked up, my eyes narrowed.

“It’s okay wolfie. I wouldn’t violate the treaty, especially in as public a place as this,” she gave me that piskie-like smile, “plus, I can tell we’re going to be really good friends.”

Mr. Wagner decided I was going to sit next to Alice at the back, but she turned out to be really good conversation, which improved my mood significantly. The cold ones aren’t quite as scary as Dad said they were. For some reason, I trust that this is the real her, not some facade to hide a monster. Somehow, I know.

Of course, I was stuck in Trig alone the next period, but that was fine. Going off how today had gone, I was going to have to get used to it.

Slightly disgusted by the cafeteria food, and not hungry enough to risk it, I settled for an apple and a soda.

Surprising nobody, Bella already had a friend group and a full table, so I started the walk to an empty one, before Alice appeared beside me. “Hey, wolfie, wanna meet the rest of us?”

“Sure, I guess.” Certainly wouldn’t do any harm to scope out the enemy. She dragged me to a nearby table, and yet far away enough no one could hear our conversation.

“This is Emmett;” she gestured at him, a seriously muscled boy, with bright blue eyes, and dark curly hair.

“This is Jasper;” A taller and leaner boy, with honey-blond curls and hazel eyes. “Mine,” she snarled playfully, but not without seriousness.

“Rosalie;” A tall girl, golden hair gently waving in a phantom wind. I gave her a tight smile, and got a vicious glare in return. I liked her already.

“And, Edward,” When I looked at him, everything slowed to a stop. I felt like I was floating when I looked into his coal black eyes, and his untidy bronze hair was my new center of gravity. Shit. I imprinted. On a fucking vampire. What else could go wrong?

He was gazing at me for a moment, but then I realized - it wasn’t me he was looking at. I turned to look back at whoever it was, and, of fucking course, it was Bella Bloody Swan.

She had been here less than a day, and was stealing everything from me. My school, my friends, conversation, and now, my *my* imprint! And then she looked back at him. My hands balled into fists, as I tried to breathe through the rage, feeling my nails cut crescents into my palms.

But then he looked at me. All that anger washed away in a sea of euphoria, the world falling out from under me. His perfect lips parted, moving slowly, making noise I couldn’t hear.

“Hey, wolfie? Got lost in dreamland?” Emmett laughed.

“What? Sorry.” I rubbed my neck, embarrassed. Ignoring him. Great first impression.

“Why can’t I read your mind?” Edward asked in a quiet voice that sounded like the soft rumble of thunder.

“You can do that!” Shame and fear exploded inside me - if he knew about the imprint, would he be weirded out? And what about all of the thoughts I’ve already had of him? He’d definitely find those creepy…

“For most people. Not you. And not her.” He nodded at Bella.

The relief at him not knowing my thoughts and the anger at Bella that had decided to rear its head jumped into a cage fight in my gut.

I managed to find words. “I’m not sure why. Maybe ‘cus I’m a wolf, but also, because of how I learnt to keep my mind clear.”

“Why?” Alice asked, confused.

“When wolves are close to each other, we get a uh… ‘group mind’. I don’t need strangers peeking at my thoughts.” Realizing what I’ve said, I try to smile an apology at Edward, but he’s looking at Bella again. Nausea pools in my mouth and I fight not to run and tear her face off.

“I don’t know why you can’t read Bella, she’s not a wolf or a vamp, so…” I trail off, pretty sure he hasn’t heard a word I’ve said. My heart goes heavy. Gods. I know emotional roller-coaster is such a cliche, but damn if it isn’t fitting.

Alice smiled a knowing smile at me. “You’ve got Biology II next, don’t you? Edward has it too, he’ll walk you,” she pinched his elbow, and I had to stop myself from laughing at his furious expression. But then it cooled, and he glanced over at me. “Yeah, sure.” I tried to find something, anything, in his gaze, but indifference was all there was. I fought the tears attempting to well at my eyes. I didn’t need to be a mind reader to know that he didn’t care about me. And never would.

Mr. Banner sat me behind Edward, a great placement, at least, until Bella walked in. Edward stiffened as she took her seat next to him, and he leaned as far away as he could.

The entire lesson, he never relaxed his stiff position on the edge of his chair, his hand on his left leg was clenched into a fist. My eyes could barely leave the tendons and veins standing out under his pale skin. He kept sneaking glances at Bella through the dark screen of her hair, and every time he did, I felt a little more broken. When the bell rang, he was out of his seat, and out of the door.

Sighing, I made my way to gym. Once I’d finished, I walked to the office, where Bella and I had agreed to meet. When I walked in the door, the high tensions crackled - if this wasn’t Forks, the wettest place on Earth, there’d probably be a fire. Edward glared at Bella, and I could see she was fighting back tears.

I really didn’t know what was worse - his obsession disguised by hatred for Bella, or his complete indifference towards me. But then I realized - he loved her, not me. I was definitely worse off. Just like always whenever Isabella Swan was in the equation.

Bella left the second he was gone, forgetting about our agreement earlier. I followed out the building, shifting and running into the woods, feeling heavier than I ever had when running. Once I was sure no one could find me, I shifted back, allowing myself to cry. Wolves can’t cry.

Chapter Text

The next day was better…and worse.

It was easier because I knew what to expect of my day. Bella was next to me in English, and we made up for her leaving me (more because of her excuses about stress than actual apologies, but I already have enough to be annoyed at her about. Bella introduced me to a big group at lunch, that included Mike, Eric, Jessica, and several other people whose names I had now forgotten.

It was worse because I was tired; I hadn’t been able to sleep with Edward’s gaze at Bella echoing in my brain. It was miserable because I had to play volleyball, and I had to constantly avoid the ball to hide my wolf strength. And it was horrible because Edward Cullen wasn’t in school at all.

All morning I had been looking forward to lunch, dreaming that just maybe, his eyes would be focused on *me*. Part of me wanted to confront him and confess my feelings. While I was lying sleepless in my bed, I even imagined what I would say. But I knew it was stupid even as I was thinking it. What would I say? ‘Oh, hi guy that I met yesterday. I know you’re obsessed with that pretty girl, but would you consider me, a guy of a species that has tried to kill your family for centuries?’ I made the scarecrow look like fucking Einstein.

But when I walked into the cafeteria with Bella, trying to keep my eyes from sweeping the place for him, and failing entirely, I saw that none of the cold ones were there. And judging by Bella’s immediate slump, she had realized it too.

As I sat, oblivious to the conversation around me, I jittered uncomfortably, waiting for the moment he would arrive.

I walked to Biology, happy as I realized that I wouldn’t have to watch helplessly as he pined for Bella. But I couldn’t get rid of the nagging suspicion that Bella was the reason he wasn’t there. I could tell Bella worried the same thing. But at least for *her* it meant he cared about her enough to avoid her. He hadn’t noticed me at all. And that hurt.

Once the school day was done, I ran to Bella’s car, determined to talk to her before she left for the Thriftway.

“Hey Bella, you okay?” I asked, looking down at her.

“Yeah, why?” Her eyebrows drew together slightly. “You just seem a bit… down. That’s all.” Bella sighed.

“It’s Edward. I know it’s silly, but it feels like he’s avoiding me, like *I’m* why he’s not in, and I *know* he hates me. The problem is…” She glances at me, “I’m pretty sure I like him.” She pauses, as if giving time for fate to crush me. “I know it’s really fast, but he’s just…”

I quirk a smile, attempting for camaraderie. “Yeah,” Better than she knew.

“I better go. Thanks for helping me get it off my chest,” she grins.

“Anytime,” I say, but my stomach curls with melancholy as I say it. Because I *knew* he liked her back. And I was going to have to pretend to be fine with it. Forever.

I shifted and ran home, fighting the tears in the corners of my eyes and the lump in my throat.

That night was quiet. Quiet enough for my sadness, my pain, to drag itself up my throat, out my eyes. My body racked with sobs, but I forced myself still, choking the noises crawling out of me into a pillow, so I wouldn’t disturb Dad. I knew Edward would never want me. So why should I even do anything? Without him, nothing mattered. I should just focus on Dad. He wanted me, needed me. One reason to live. Just live through this pain long enough for him to not need me anymore, and I could *finally* be free of my pain.

The rest of the week was uneventful. I dragged myself through the routine of my classes. By Friday I was able to recognize, if not name, almost all of the students at school.

Edward Cullen didn’t come back.

Everyday I waited anxiously, unsure whether I wanted to see him, and everyday, none of them came.

Monday morning came, and I managed to stay on autopilot through my lessons. At least until lunch.

Suddenly, Bella froze in front of me, and I almost stumbled into her. Worried, I glanced where she was looking. And instantly, my heart flipped as I saw Edward. I swallowed and forced myself to look away, but Alice whispered quiet enough that only we could hear to come over.

Sighing, I made my way over to their table, ignoring the quiet comments from Mike and Jessica and Eric, saying how selfish I was - a full week of trying to help me get comfy, and leaving the second I got a better offer.

“Don’t listen to them,” Alice elbowed me.

“I wasn’t.”

“Not consciously. But you believed it. And wolfie I’m sorry we had to leave, we were…” She glanced at Edward for a second, “hunting.” Great. *Fucking* perfect. So he did like her back. I forced a smile despite how sick I felt inside.

“No worries, it’s fine.”

We spent lunch laughing, the snow sticking to all of out clothes. For vampires over a hundred years old, it was astounding how much joy they could glean from something as simple as snow. Well, almost everyone. Edward spent the whole time staring moodily at Bella. I tried to focus on the others, but the majority of my brain was blazingly aware of him gazing at her.

I’d been behind Bella in Bio for a hot minute, but I was already dreading the longing looks I’d have to swallow. My fists clenched as Edward’s eyes never left her as he sat.

“Hello,” he said, quietly, his melodious voice making the regular word feel like a perfectly worded sonnet. Bella glanced back at him, clearly stunned he was talking to her. I wanted to rip out her eyes, so she wouldn’t be able to see his dripping wet hair, the small smile, and his flawless lips, his intelligent hazel eyes letting you know he meant every word.

“My name is Edward Cullen. I didn’t have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan.”

I glanced down at my hands realizing I’d drawn blood where the crescents of my nails had been.

Edward was so engaged in his conversation that it didn’t faze him in the slightest. Why did that annoy me so much?

“H-how do you know my name?” Bella stammered. He laughed a soft, enchanting laugh, like wind charms in a soft breeze. I saw myself tearing off her ears so she could never hear it again. I forced myself to breathe.

“Oh, I think everyone knows your name. The whole town’s been waiting for you to arrive.” She grimaced.

“No, I meant, why did you call me Bella?”

His thick eyebrows scrunched cutely. “Do you prefer Isabella?”

“No, I like Bella. But I think Charlie - I mean my Dad - must call me Isabella behind me back - that’s what everyone here seems to know me as,”

The bitch. What is she even complaining about? At least he knows *your* name. I’d be happy whatever he called me, whether he called me Jacob or wanker. The only thing that’s upset me would be if he called me Bella.

“Oh,” He let it drop. Thankfully, Mr. Banner started class at that moment. I tried to concentrate on the rules of the lab we would be doing.

I tried to keep busy on my solo lab rather than their conversation, but that seemed far too difficult.

“Ladies first, partner?” Edward asked, a crooked smile playing on his lips. What I wouldn’t give to be the cause of that smile.

“Of I could start, if you wish.” his smile dimmed, and I tried to crush the part of me that felt triumph.

“No, I’ll go ahead,” she blushed. Edward couldn’t look away. My breathing started to speed up. I knew if I observed much more I might actually kill her. I grabbed the scalpel and dragged it across my palm.

“Sorry sir, may I go to the nurse?” I asked, showing him my wound.

“Yes, of course, but be more careful next time.”

“Yes sir.”

I looked back and saw Edward’s eyes still on Bella, despite the blood nearby. I left and I didn’t bother fighting the tears.

I walked into the bathroom, pulled the seat down, locked the door, got fetal, and cried. Silently, of course. But if felt good to get it out. When I was done, I left, and saw Jasper waiting outside. “You good?” he asked.

“Yeah…”

“Sure?”

“Mhm.” I couldn’t stay longer. I had to get out of here.

As I left school, I saw Bella almost crash into a Toyota Corolla in her haste to escape, and Edward burst out laughing. More tears welled in my eyes.

Pathetic, I called myself. Getting this caught up over a *vampire*.

Chapter Text

When I opened my eyes in the morning, something was different.

It was the scent. My lungs pulled in the clear air easily, and I smiled. Snow.

Grinning wildly, I ran downstairs, and grabbed an apple, feeling the skin crunch underneath my teeth, juice dripping down my chin. Perfect.

I waved goodbye to Dad before phasing and running to Forks High School. Nothing could ruin my day.

A high-pitched screech came from the car park, and I went running, forgetting to phase back.

Just before I realized what was going on, Edward pounced on Bella, before a van went crashing into Bella’s truck, gliding straight through where Bella had been.

Edward, I thought, panicked, is he okay? I phased back and ran over, leaping over Bella’s truck in a way no human could.

They were both fine. Edward was checking her for wounds while she was checking out his eyes. *‘MINE!’* I screamed in my mind, anger filling me to the brim. Edward flinched, and for a moment I thought he could hear me. But no. They hadn’t noticed I was even there. I climbed back over the truck, and decided that I *really* wasn’t in the mood for Edward’s moony eyes over Bella all day. Whelp. Those positive vibes really stayed strong.

Once I was in the woods, I phased and took off, glad for the lack of tear ducts.

What the fuck was I doing? I hadn’t spoken to Edward (and gotten a reply) once, and yet I was crying over him every. single. fucking. day.

Pathetic.

I ran and ran until all there was was the wind in my fur, and my paws on the ground.

A sudden pain in my chest had me screaming, writhing in pure agony. I phased back unconsciously, and the more concise thoughts of my human form helped me figure it out - the fucking imprint magic didn’t want me getting too far away from Edward.

Groaning, I phased and started running in the direction it was pulling me in.

Soon enough, I arrived just outside Forks’ (surprisingly advanced) hospital to hear Bella’s irritating voice drifting down from an open window.

“Edward Cullen - he was standing next to me,”

She’d always been such a terrible liar. But why was she covering for Edward? Well, now he owes her one - and she knows it. I started giggling hysterically. I didn’t even know why. Of course, it rapidly descended into sobs. I stayed, racked with tears, curled up in a ball against the wall of the hospital for a few minutes, until I heard footsteps too quiet to be human, so I forced myself to breathe slowly, wiping my eyes. Turns out it was Rosalie - I’d been hoping for Edward, or Alice. I gave her a tight smile, fighting the tears welling up.

“You okay? I heard uh…” She trailed off. Shit. Was I really that loud?

“Yeah, yeah,” I waved the question away.

She knelt down and leaned against the wall beside me. I wanted to tell her to get up, since the grass would stain her skirt, but I had a feeling she wouldn’t care.

“You must care about her a lot.” Exactly. That was the fucking problem.

“Yeah. But that isn’t why…” I gestured at myself, hoping she realized I was talking about my complete breakdown. She put a soft hand over mine.

“Why then?” She asked quietly, looking me straight in the eyes. Turns out the ‘bad bitch’ act was mostly for show.

I whispered the words that I knew better than my name.

“It is my lord; O, it is my love!

O that he knew he were!

He speaks, yet he says nothing. What of that?

His eye discourses; I will answer it.

I am too bold, ‘tis not to me he speaks.”

Rosalie swallowed, and hugged me close. “I’m so sorry.” I can hear it permeating her voice. When she draws back, I smile tightly again.

“It’s okay.”

“You know,” she smiles mischievously. “I know the perfect way to get back at him.”

***

That night, I was consumed by the mystery Edward presented. And more than a little obsessed with Edward himself. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

That was the first night I dreamed of Edward Cullen.

Chapter Text

In my dream it was very dark, and what dim light there was seemed to be radiating from Edward’s skin. I couldn’t see his face, just his back as he walked away from me, leaving me in the blackness. No matter how fast I ran, I couldn’t catch up to him; no matter how loud I called, he never turned. I woke shivering in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall asleep again.

After that, he was in my dreams every night, but always on the periphery, never within reach.

The month that followed the accident was uneasy, tense, and Bella.

She was the center of attention. Tyler was following her around, obsessed.

No one seemed confused that Edward managed to save her - no one else had seen him standing so far away, before he was suddenly, impossibly, saving her life. I almost audibly groaned when I realized the cause - no one was as aware of Edward as I always was. Other than Bella. No one watched him the way I did. How pitiful. As much as they’re missing out, I don’t care - anyone going for him will become the center of my hatred.

We (the Cullens and I) sat at the same table as always, talking. It was always slightly awkward - I was the only one who *could* eat, so I felt bad being the only one doing it. But even here, all anyone could talk about was Bella. I was so *sick* of it. Surprisingly, Rosalie was the biggest help. We’d often go off into our own conversation, and was the only one of them who wasn’t *constantly* complimenting Bella.

Biology was torture. He was always staring at her, reminding me every time I looked up that he’d chosen her, not me. Although, they didn’t ever talk, which eased the pain slightly.

Of course, Rosalie managed to find something for us all to talk about one lunch, when I was feeling particularly low.

“So, what *are* we doing about the Spring dance?” she asked.

“We aren’t going. We *never* go.” Emmett said, confused.

“*Usually*, but this year there’s Jacob. Anyway, it might be different. A nice… change.”

Alice smiled. “Sounds fun,”

They looked at Edward, since Emmett and Jasper were automatically coming.

“No, I have other plans,” He said quietly.

“Like?” Rosalie demanded.

“He’s going to offer to take Bella to Seattle.” Alice said.

“Urgh. No fun.” Rosalie groaned, putting a hand over mine.

“It’s fine,” I tell her, quiet enough for none of them to hear.

Unfortunately that meant I’d be subjected to their stinted, longing conversation in Bio.

“Bella?” He asked.

My hands were fists again (like every other Bio lesson) as she looked in his eyes.

“What? Are you speaking to me again?” She complained petulantly. Bitch. At least he spoke to you.

He fought a smile. “No, not really,”

She exhaled slowly, gritting her teeth. “Then what do you want, Edward?”

“I’m sorry. I’m being very rude, I know. But it’s better this way, really.” How I wish that sincerity was directed at me. I wouldn’t *ever* be able to be mad. Unlike a certain someone.

“I don’t know what you mean,”

“It’s better if we’re not friends. Trust me.”

Her eyes narrowed.

“It’s too bad you didn’t figure that out earlier.” She hissed. Suddenly, I was craving popcorn. “You could have saved yourself all this regret.”

“Regret? Regret for what?”

“For not letting that stupid van squish me.” *I* regret it. I regret it an awful lot: Surprise, Sadness, Anger.

“You think I regret saving your life?”

“I *know* you do,” She snapped. Damn.

“You don’t know anything.” He was definitely mad. To be totally honest, kind of a turn-on.

Bella grabbed her books and walked out, making a dramatic sweep out of the room. Or she would have, if she hadn’t tripped. And, of *fucking* course, Edward’s already there, helping her pick them up.

“Thank you.” She said icily.

His eyes narrowed.

“You’re welcome.” he almost growled.

I’d watch the fuck out of this show. (But low-key, aren’t I doing that anyways?)

The rest of the class he was emanating such a malignant aura, I doubt even Alice would be able to talk to him.

After gym, I walked out to find Edward cutting Bella off. I was almost shaking with laughter. He was so *desperate*. It would have been funny if he wasn’t breaking my heart.

As I was running home, my head just kept repeating Edward saying ‘It’s better is we’re not friends’. Consciously, I knew it was because he was a vampire, but still… I hoped.

But then it felt like he had been talking to me. He had to see how absorbed I was by him; he must be so disgusted… so we couldn’t even be friends… because he wasn’t interested in me at all. Of course he wasn’t interested in me, I thought, biting back the ache in my chest. I wasn’t *interesting*. And he was.

Interesting… and brilliant… and mysterious… and perfect… and beautiful… and possibly deadly. To me. (Though if there was any way to go… Just sayin’.)

Well, that was fine. I could leave him alone. I *would* leave him alone. He’d made it pretty clear that was what he wanted. After school finished, i could just live as a lone wolf. It’d be fine.

Dad was watching the game when I got home. I sat next to him, and smiled. After about a minute, he sighed and turned the TV off.

“What do you want?”

“Dad…”

“Yes, Jacob?”

“Um, I wanted to ask if I could go to the Spring Dance on Saturday next week… if that’s okay?”

“Why?”

“I mean, I’ve never gone before, and uhh… I’m still new. I need to get to know some people.” I have never spoken such shit.

“Who with?” Crap.

“Um… I was going with the Cullens,” Bella wasn’t the only one bad at lying. His face darkened.

“Which one?”

“As a big group.” He seemed to doubtfully accept this. However, he still had a problem.

“But they’re vampires.”

“It could be good to get to know them - we’re neighbors after all.”

“They’re evil bloodsuckers, and out natural enemy.”

“They don’t seem *that* bad,”

“Fine. Get betrayed. See if I care.”

“Aww, thanks Dad,” I gave him a huge hug, knowing full well it would piss him off.

The next morning, when I got to the parking lot, Edward was leaning against Bella’s truck. Fuck.

“How do you *do* that?” the dumb bitch demanded, half amazed, half irritated.

“Do what?” He handed her her keys. Huh.

“Appear out of thin air.”

“Bella, it’s not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant.”

Bella scowled. I couldn’t see his face, but I knew that was what she was glaring out. The soft, dewy skin, golden eyes, bronze curls.

“Why the traffic jam last night?” She asked, still looking away. “I thought you were supposed to be pretending I don’t exist, not irritating me to death.”

“That was for Tyler’s sake, not mine. I had to give him his chance.” He snickered. I had to duck behind a building so I didn’t collapse laughing in front of everyone.

“You…” I could hear the rage in Bella’s voice. It only made me laugh harder.

“And I’m not pretending you don’t exist,” he continued.

“So you *are* trying to irritate me to death? Since Tyler’s van didn’t do that job.”

It was like all of the (annoying) playful humor had been sucked out of the air. “Bella you are utterly absurd,” he said, his low voice cold. Why, I simply must agree.

“Wait,” he called. She kept walking, but he caught up quickly, easily keeping pace.

“I’m sorry, that was rude. I’m not saying it isn’t true, but it rude to say it, anyway.” Really helping yourself there mate.

“Why won’t you leave me alone?” She grumbled.

“I wanted to ask you something, but you sidetracked me,” he chuckled nervously. It felt like that point in a panto where they hold up the ‘Awwwww’ sign.

“Do you have multiple personality disorder?” Bella asked. I almost died.

“You’re doing it again.

She sighed. “Fine then. What do you want to ask?”

“I was wondering if, a week from Saturday - you know, the day of the Spring dance -”

“Are you trying to be *funny*?” She interrupted. Oh how I wish he was.

“Will you please allow me to finish.

Bella said nothing, which he took as a yes.

“I heard you say you were going to Seattle that day, and I was wondering if you wanted a rise.”

“What?” Bella asked, confused.

“Do you want a ride to Seattle?”

“With who?” Bloody hell, a little thick that one, isn’t she?

“Myself, obviously.”

“Why?”

“Well, I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks, and, to be honest, I’m not sure your truck can make it.”

“My truck works just fine, thank you very much for your concern.” She started to walk away again.

“But can your truck make it there on one tank of gas?”

“I don’t see how that is any of your business.”

“The wasting of finite resources is everyone’s business.” Fuck. Eco-friendly flirting. I would be swooning so hard. Though, it’s Edward, so I’d be swooning anyways.

“Honestly, Edward.” Anger flooded me as she said his name. “I can’t keep up with you. I thought you didn’t want to be my friend.”

“I said it would be better if we weren’t friends, not that I didn’t want to be.”

“Oh, thanks, now that’s *all* cleared up.” I’ve never heard a word more saturated with sarcasm.

“It would be more… *prudent* for you to not be my friend,” he explained. “But I’m tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella.” Drama Queen much?

“Will you go with me to Seattle?” he asked.

She nodded.

“You really *should* stay away from me,” he warned. “I’ll see you in class.”

He turned and started walking in my vicinity. Time for Rosalie’s plan.

Lifting the unconscious barrier around my mind, I swallowed to sick feeling as I summoned an image of Bella. Pulling her into my house, shoving her on my bed- Edward growled, marching over to me. Really not the time to get turned on. Quickly, I lifted the barrier again.

Ice cold, he plucked one of my wolf hairs from my clothes.

“You have a little something here, *pervert.*” He snarled the last word. Fuck me, he’s hot.

“Least I’m not a filthy bloodsucker,” I smirked.

He blew past me and I grinned. He’d finally noticed me. Is it wrong to feel a sense of victory?

Chapter Text

I made my way to English in a daze. I didn’t even realize when I first walked in that class had already started.

“Thank you for joining us, Mr. Black,” Mr. Mason said disparagingly.

Blood rushed to my cheeks and I hurried to my seat.

Bella had gone to sit with Mike, probably feeling bad about turning him.

The rest of the morning was a blur. It was difficult to believe that I hadn’t just imagined my conversation with Edward, that he’d *spoken* to me. Maybe it was just a very convincing daydream that I’d confused with reality. That seemed more probable than he’d ever pay attention to me.

Disappointment flooded through me as my eyes unerringly focused on the Cullens’ table. Everyone was there - except for Edward. Glancing around, I saw Edward, smiling crookedly, staring at me from an empty table across the cafeteria to where we usually sat. He raised one hand and motioned with an index finger to join him. Then he winked. He fucking winked. My heart fluttered in my chest.

“Maybe he needs help with his Biology homework,” Bella muttered. “I’d better go see what he wants.” That makes more sense.

As I watched her walk away, I felt my heart sink into the floor. I was trembling. I gulped, and almost ran to our table, where Rosalie hugged me hard. “Uh… what’s going on? What’s wrong wolfie?” Alice asked.

Rosalie glanced down at me, but I shook my head, knowing the truth would only hurt them.

I felt Jasper’s gift wash over me, and my shoulders lifted, and I wiped my eyes. I offered him a tight smile.

“Thanks,”

“No problem.”

I wanted to tell them, I really did. But we all know that only Bella can make Edward happy, so they’d just feel my pain as I watched them, watched him, leave me forever. Not like he could leave me - he was never mine to begin with.

Breathing deep, I knew what I needed to do. I let my shields fall, and I saw Bella. In my mind, I walked over and kissed her hard, right in front of him. My hand dropped, touching her hip, and… he noticed.

His smile faded and a hard edge crept into his voice. He glared at me, and let a fang drop for a split second. Fuck.

I yanked my walls up so fast it gave me whiplash. Just that single fang. I could feel him walk up behind me, kissing my neck, then his fangs slowly descend, splitting skin, holding me close until-

“Wolfie… wolfie!” Alice snapped her fingers in front of my face.

“What? Huh? Sorry…” I was shaking. I didn’t know if I was terrified or turned on. Both, maybe.

“Emmett wanted to know if you had a suit for the dance.”

“Oh, sorry, I don’t. I should go buy one…”

Alice’s eyes lit up. “Don’t you dare. I’m getting you one,”

“No, it’s fine. I don’t want to ask too much,”

Jasper smiled at me. “Don’t try to stop her. It’s impossible.”

I laughed, but then stopped - the look everyone but Alice was giving me told me they’d all tried. A lot.

It was then that I realized I had managed to go a full minute without thinking about Edward. Huh. Progress. Reminded, I tuned into their conversation.

“Bitten by a radioactive spider?” Bella asked. All of us at the table started cackling so loud everyone who wasn’t looking at Bella was looking at us.

“That’s not very creative,” he scoffed.

“I’m sorry, that’s all I’ve got,”

“You’re not even close,” he laughed that beautiful, velvety laugh again.

“No spiders?”

“Nope.”

“And radioactivity?”

“None.”

“Dang.”

“Kryptonite doesn’t bother me, either,” I’d be surprised if Bella was cultured to know what kryptonite is.

“I’ll figure it out eventually,” she warned.

“I wish you wouldn’t try.”

“Because… ?”

“What if I’m not a superhero? What if I’m the bad guy?” Ah, shit.

“Oh… I see.”

“Do you?” He sounded worried. He should be.

“You’re dangerous?” I could feel his sadness from here. “But not bad,” Bella whispered. “No. I don’t believe you’re bad.”

“You’re wrong.” Does he want to be caught?

“Hey, wolfie,” Alice called. “We’re all skipping today - they’re doing blood typing. We could go find some ideas for suits.”

“You know what? Sure.”

We got up and walked out normally, before meeting Edward by his Volvo.

“He’s staying,” Rosalie reported to me. I smiled.

“Thanks.”

I forced myself to ignore the glaringly obvious reason *why* he was staying. Bella. I shifted and ran after them, somehow managing to keep pace - they were all wickedly fast.

Their house was beautiful. All glass and wood, completely open space. And I know why - here was where they could be themselves - and *proud*.

Once we got inside, Rosalie pulled a measuring tape from thin air, and started taking sizes. It took a minute and no notes to finish, then she ran off to who knows where, a mischievous grin more characteristic of Alice on her face.

“Hi, I’m Esme,” A beautiful woman with long, glossy black hair stepped out from the kitchen. “I was so excited to find out you were coming - I got to use the kitchen for the first time!”

“Aw, thanks, you didn’t need to do that,”

“It’s no problem, it’s been a pleasure. Why don’t you come and help me,”

“Sure,” I smiled. “Just got to text my Dad,”

“Okay, you do that,”

I sent him a quick explanation, (mentally bracing myself for how angry he’s be later - “A vampire nest?!”) then followed Esme.

“You know, I’ve never spoken to a werewolf before. What’s it like?”

“Being a werewolf?”

“Yeah, like is it fun, super exhilarating… ?“ Her eyes lit up.

“It can be fun, it’s really freeing, and I can always just *feel* that power coursing through my body,” the look in her eyes was so hopeful.

“But there are loads of really annoying parts. The animal nature is bad - the enhanced speed, strength, sense - I always have to tone it down. Then there’s the telepathic connection - we have to share all of our thoughts at all times, a *complete* overshare. The amount of yoga and mindfulness I have to make a barrier is horrendous.”

“That doesn’t sound too different,”

“There’s also a thing called ‘imprinting’. For one person, and *only* that person, we fall completely and totally in love. We would do anything to be and stay close to them. We can’t help it,” I sighed.

Immediately, Esme looked at me, pity in her eyes. “I’m sorry, she must have broken your heart so bad. You must feel broken.” It was like a stab to the chest.

She hugged me and I whispered my thanks.

Alice bounced into the room. “Wolfie, Rosalie’s got your suit!” That’s fucking fast, especially for a house in the middle of nowhere. These rich bitches are on something else.

“Already?”

I followed Alice to a room off the side of a corridor.

Rosalie was sat behind a sewing machine, a perfect and pristine white suit in front of her, with the darkest black shirt I’ve ever seen. It was perfect.

“Oh my god, did you make this? It’s perfect, thanks so much Rosalie!” I had to stop myself from squealing. I wrapped her up in my arms.

Just then, my phone started ringing. I checked the caller ID - my Dad. “Fuck, I’ma have to go. Thanks so much!” I yelled as I tore through the house, leaving the Cullen’s confused behind me as I phased and ran away home.

///

A/N:

I would like to make a special thanks to Crazy Unicorn for being my very first paid patreon member!!!

Becoming a paid member helps with my work so much, as it means I can prioritize making this content over anything else (that I would rather not do) and has the added bonus of motivating me to work even harder to make all of you guys happy!!!

I really hope you enjoy being here in my page, and I hope that you're going to enjoy what's going on in our future!

Chapter Text

As I sat in my room, trying to concentrate on the third act of *Macbeth*, I was really listening for pounding feet. I would have thought after I ran away they would have followed. But they never came. I wasn’t sure how to feel - disappointed they hadn’t cared, or happy because it meant I didn’t have to explain.

I wasn’t looking forward to Friday, and it more than lived up to my non-expectations. Apparently Bella had fainted in Biology, so I had missed at lot. (And a lot more fawning on Bella.) The worst part about Friday was that even though everyone other than Edward was there, none of them spoke to me. I couldn’t keep from looking at their table, where Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper sat talking, heads close together, so quiet *I* could hear a word they were saying.

I did, however, overhear the people at Bella’s table talking about a visit to La Push beach. The perfect olive branch.

Taking a deep breath, I walked over to the Cullen’s table. They immediately stopped talking. “Hey. Um… I’m really sorry about running away yesterday, but I just… couldn’t. My Dad called and well… he isn’t the greatest fan of vampires.”

“It’s fine Jacob,” Rosalie reassured, budging up so I could sit next to her.

“Oh… loads of people here are planning to go to La Push tomorrow, you guys should come.”

“I think you’re forgetting something wolfie - it’s across the border,”

“Well, I *am* a werewolf, so I can grant permission for a cross if I want. And you *should* come. Should be fun,”

Alice glanced at Jasper. “Yeah, sure. Sounds great. We’ll be there,”

I looked to Rosalie. “Make sure to invite Edward. Bella’s going to be there, so…”

She gave me a small, sad smile. “I will.”

The next morning, I was waiting just outside my house when something with short black hair hugged me so hard we fell over.

“Hey, wolfie,” Alice smiled from the grass next to me.

Once everyone got there, other than Edward, of course, we started to make out way to La Push beach. It wasn’t too far, but that wouldn’t have been a problem - not when you can move as fast as we can.

I’d been to the beaches around La Push so many times -Dad couldn’t travel very far cheaply, so we came to La Push as many times as we could.

The water was dark gray, even in the sunlight, white-capped and heaving to the grey, rocky shore. Islands rose out of the steel harbor waters with sheer cliff sides, reaching to uneven summits, and crowned with austere, soaring firs. The beach had only a thin border of actual sand at the water’s edge, after which it grew into millions of large smooth stones that looked uniformly grey from a distance, but close up were every shade a stone could be: terra-cotta, sea green, blue grey, dull gold. The tide line was strewn with huge driftwood trees, bleached bone white in the salty waves, some piled together against the edge of the forest fringe, some lying solitary, just out of reach of the waves.

There was a brisk wind coming off the sea, cool and briny. Pelicans floated on the swells while seagulls and a lone eagle wheeled above them. Clouds were thick above.

I sent a message through the pack mind ‘Vampires on La Push. I invited them.’. The group filled with objections, mainly from Sam, but nevertheless, I blocked them out.

We made our way down the steep rocky path to meet the group of people already there. Mike, Eric, Ben, Connor, Jessica, Angela, Lauren, Lee, and Samantha. And Bella. Edward was sat nearby, awkwardly perched on a log, close enough to speak, but far enough that Bella could ignore him. Which she didn’t.

“I’m the eldest of the family - not by much though. Rosalie’s only a few months younger, then Alice, Emmett, then Jasper.”

“Oh, okay… are they here?”

“They should be soon…” He glanced up and saw me, eyes narrowing. Don’t know what that was for, I thought snarkily, it’s because of me that you can talk to Bella.

I lifted my mental barrier and thought ‘I’d try and be a bit more grateful, blood sucker’. I forced the idea of Bella pressed against one of the trees into my thoughts, and therefore, his.

I hadn’t realized he’d even gotten up until he grabbed my hand, and squeezed hard, almost breaking my bones. “Thanks for inviting me,” he growled through gritted teeth.

I gulped hard, the only thought in my mind ‘he held my hand’. I felt like I was melting. His skin was soft, cool against mine, his grip strong. It felt like he was never going to let go. It felt like I didn’t want him to. And so, of course, he did. I could feel his absence as acutely as I could feel my heart being torn from my chest.

He shot a quizzical look over his shoulder, reminding me I hadn’t put the barrier back up. I did so quickly, before any other thoughts could betray me.

“Hey, Bella, could I talk to you for a minute?”

“Yeah, sure,” she smiled, and I could hear Edward’s growl behind us as I led her away, until they would no longer be able to hear us.

“There’s something you should know about the Cullens,” I whispered.

She arched an eyebrow. You’re not the fucking queen, chill out.

“Why?”

“You want to know how Edward did what he did.” It wasn’t a question.

Her eyes widened. “You know?”

“Yes, but I’m not strictly allowed to tell you,” she looked disappointed. “But I can tell you where to look.”

She was interested again.

“Do you know any of our old stories, about where we came from - the Quileutes, I mean?”

“No, not really.”

“Well, there are lots of legends. Some of them claiming to date back to the Flood - supposedly ancient Quileutes tied their canoes to the tops of the tallest trees on the mountains to survive like Noah and the ark.” I smile, knowing how nonsensical it sounded. “Another legend claims that we descended from wolves - and that the wolves are our brothers still. It’s against tribal law to kill them.

“Then there are the legends about the *cold ones*,” I spoke softer now, trying to keep the Cullens from hearing.

“The cold ones?”

“Yes. There are stories of the cold ones as old as the wolf legends and some are much more recent. According to legend, my own great-grandfather knew some of them. He was the one who made the treaty that kept them off our land.”

“Your great-grandfather?” Bella encouraged.

“He was a tribal elder, like my father. You see, the cold ones are the natural enemies of the wolves that turn into men, like our ancestors. You would call them werewolves.” There was nothing in the treaty about telling humans about *us*.

“Werewolves have enemies?”

“Only one.” I paused, trying to build the atmosphere.

“So you see, the cold ones are traditionally our enemies. But this pack that came to our territory during my great-grandfather’s time was different. They didn’t hunt the way others of their kind did - they weren’t supposed to be dangerous to the tribe. So my great-grandfather made a truce with them. If they would promise to stay off our lands, we wouldn’t expose them to the pale-faces.”

“If they weren’t dangerous, then why…?”

“There’s always a risk for humans to be around the cold ones, even if they’re civilized like this clan was. You never know when they might get too hungry to resist.” I tried to work a tone of menace into my voice.

“What do you mean ‘civilized’?”

“They didn’t hunt humans. They were somehow able to prey on animals instead.”

“So how does it fit in with Edward? Is he a cold one like your great-grandfather met?”

I raised my eyebrows, as much of a confirmation as a ‘yes’.

“There are more of them now, two more, but the rest are the same. In my great-grandfather’s time they already knew of the leader, Carlisle. He’d been here and gone before *your* people had even arrived.”

“And what are they?” Bella asked. “What are the cold ones?”

I smile darkly.

“Blood drinkers,” I replied. “Your people have another name for them.

I could see the wheels turning in her mind. She really was a dumb-ass.

“Vampires,” she whispered.

I gave her a small smile.

I knew why I’d told her, as wrong and fucked-up and against the rules as it was - I *wanted* Bella to be scared. Scared enough to avoid Edward. Scared enough to leave. Scared enough to give me a chance, as small as it would be.

The sound of beach rocks clattering against each other warned us that someone was approaching. The Cullens.

Edward stood next to Bella, looking at her, concern in his eyes. I smiled at him, holding his glare, fighting the fall into his boundless eyes.

I turned to Alice. “Sorry, something must be disagreeing with me, I feel a little sick. I might just head home.”

She looked confused, but I’d already turned, and started the trek back home.

I ignored the echoing sensation of Edward standing, just over my shoulder, close enough that if either of us twitched we would be touching.

I ignored how my shoulders ached for his arms around them.

I ignored the tears welling up straight from my core.

I ignored *him*.

Or, at least, I tried to.

Chapter Text

I climbed through my window and collapsed onto my bed. I groaned and closed my eyes. ‘I can’t do this’, I thought. It hurt too damn bad. A part of me, my wolf, saw him as *mine*, even though I knew he was Bella’s. I needed to move on. And I knew exactly how.

I grabbed scissors and a razor, then a large chunk of my hair, and began to hack away at it. Slowly, the short back and sides emerged. I smiled, even though I’d failed at making Bella scared of him - all I could think was ‘maybe now he’ll notice me.’. What a pitiful motherfucker I am.

I opened my eyes to an unfamiliar place. Aware in some corner of my conscious that I was dreaming, I recognized the green light of the forest. I could hear the waves crashing against the rocks somewhere nearby. And I knew that if I found the ocean, I’d be able to see the sun. I was trying to follow the sound, but then Bella was there, tugging on my hand, pulling me back toward the blackest part of the forest. And I *let* her pull me along, the weak puppy that I was.

Suddenly my stomach contracted, twisted sharply. I yelped, pulling away from her, shaking on the forest floor.

“Jacob!” Bella screamed as I phased. It was like the first time all over again. I felt like I was moving in slow motion, but in reality it was under a second. I felt my hips pop and shift to the side, the bones wrenching apart and together again, into unfamiliar shapes.

My knees fell back, bending the other way, and my jaw clicked out of place, elongating to form a muzzle. New teeth grew and my old ones grew larger, sharper. It was as if I could feel every pore all over my body, as it stretched to grow fur.

My ears dragged themselves atop my head, changing shape completely.

My spine was pulled out of my backside, growing muscle and fur.

But soon enough, unparalleled strength flowed through my limbs, and I felt more powerful than ever.

A triumphant growl tore its way out of my mouth, reverberating through the trees.

Edward stepped out from behind the darkness. I wasn’t surprised. He’d been in my dreams almost every night for weeks now. His skin glowed faintly, like it was made of diamonds, glinting in the non-existent sunlight. His eyes were black and dangerous.

I growled as Bella stepped forwards - real-Edward was hers. Why couldn’t she leave dream-Edward for me?

“Trust me,” Edward almost purred. She took another step.

I launched myself across the space between them, landing on Edward, a paw on his throat.

Shit. His cold blood pooled around my hand, and dripped down his chest.

“No, no, no, no!” This couldn’t be happening.

Glancing up, his smile was serene, happily gazing up at Bella.

I tried to staunch the bleeding, forgetting I had paws, and claws, rather than hands. I’d ended up removing half his stomach. “No…no…”

A hand patted my shoulder. Looking up, I saw my father, a happy look on his face.

“Well done son, you got rid of all the bloodsuckers,”

His smile widened, and he nodded behind me. Worried, I checked over my shoulder, and nausea forced its way up my throat. All of the Cullens were on the floor, drenched in pools of their own blood, arms, legs, heads, missing, all smiling at me, looking straight into my eyes.

Behind them, a pile of bodies, of blood, grew. No. I couldn’t breather. I glanced down, shaking, trying to ground myself. Not a good idea. Blood pooled around my feet, my hands dripping with it.

Fuck. No.

My ears kept ringing, only getting louder, single muscles clenching one at a time, all over my body. I tried to drag air into my lungs. I failed.

I sat straight up when I woke, my heart hammering so loud that Dad could probably hear it on the other side of the house. I took a minute to catch my breath, before forcing myself up to have a cold shower.

Dad had already gone fishing with Charlie, so I had the house to myself. Therefore, I did what all normal teenagers do, and I left.

I wasn’t often that I went into the woods as a human. It was nice enough, I guessed, but nothing could beat the pounding feet, racing through the air as a wolf. But that was what I was trying to escape - the supernatural invasion of my life.

I let myself breathe to the rhythm of the damp earth beneath my bare feet and the sudden cries of the jays. I followed the small trail through the trees, knowing exactly where I was, but *needing* to get lost in the sensation of being lost. I followed the trail deeper and deeper into my pain, allowing my desire for Edward, my hatred toward Bella, the heartbreak from them both, to fill me to the brim, and to spill into the world around me.

Rain began to fall, thundering down around me, and I screamed my anger, my hate, my tears into the air. I stood, the world turning to mud around me, the rain washing away my tears a thousand times over, until all that was left was anger. And then even *that* dissipated.

I fell to my knees, sitting there in the mud, eyes closed, listening to the rain slowing and stopping, before I slowly made my way home.

It was just noon when I got back inside. I showered and changed, resolving to finish my Macbeth paper. I finished quickly enough (I found it easy enough to relate to the themes of madness), so I headed down to the garage. For years, I’ve been trying to get Dad to buy the parts for a new car, but he *always* says no. Nevertheless, I’ve almost completed an engine, and I’m saving for the final few bits. Just need to get my hands on a 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit master cylinder.

Charlie had managed a huge catch, and Dad a smaller, but still excessive one, so we’d be having that for dinner for a few days at least.

I slept dreamlessly that night, exhausted from beginning my day so early, and sleeping so poorly the night before.

I got to school relatively early, but somehow, the Cullens were already there. I jog over to Alice, smiling at her ever-present cheeriness.

“Oh my god, what happened to your hair?” Alice almost screamed.

Rosalie walked over. “I love it.”

“I just… felt like a change,”

I glanced towards Edward, his eyes, as always, focused on Bella. But slowly, his gaze swiveled to see me, and… he didn’t look away. I tried to fight the smile that had decided to play on my face but… no dice. But… is that a blush? Edward dipped his head to shield his face, and I laughed. But then he got up and walked over, eyes on mine the entire time. Well. Fuck me. Please.

“I don’t believe I’ve introduced myself. I’m Edward. It’s lovely to meet you Jake.” My legs weaken at the sound of my name from his soft lips. I usually hate when people call me Jake, but from him? I love it. My mouth’s bone-dry.

“I hope we can put our previous… misunderstandings aside, as it seems apparent that we shall be spending more time with one another.” I nodded slowly, my eyes focused on his lips, higher than mine - he had a good few inches on me.

“Perhaps you can come over tomorrow, you can meet Carlisle,”. After about seven seconds, I realized he wanted an actual answer.

“Uh… yeah- sure,” I choked out.

He offered a genuine smile. “Can’t wait.” With complete honesty, I might have swooned a little. Rosalie grabbed my shoulders to hold me up as he walked away.

“My god. I’ve *never* seen him use that much charm in any single conversation.” She elbowed me. “Must be pretty special.”

I smiled, not having yet regained the ability of speech.

The rest of the day flew by easily. No teachers called on me for anything, and I sat with the Cullens at lunch. Edward was staring at Bella the whole time, which was irritating, but I just kept replaying our conversation earlier in my mind, and I found myself able to somewhat ignore it. When we got out of school, I started to walk home, when I glanced back around, and Edward was smiling at me. My heart felt like it was trying to escape my chest. I checked around me, to make sure I wasn’t mistaken, but there was no-one. I looked back at him, and laughter tinged his lips.

“See you tomorrow,” He whispered, low enough that only I would hear. I smiled back, before jogging away so he couldn’t see the wild blush covering every inch of my body.

When I got home, Dad was on the sofa, watching some sport rerun.

“Hey, Dad, I was going to go round a friend’s house tomorrow evening. That okay?”

“Yeah, when do you think you’ll get back.”

“I’m not sure, but don’t worry about dinner for me,”

“Okay.” He grunted his approval.

I had almost made it to my room when he asked the dreaded question:

“Which friend?”

“Oh, um, the Cullens.”

The mood darkened instantly.

“Fine, but just… be careful. I don’t like them. And you shouldn’t either,”

“Yeah, yeah,” I walked into my room breathing a sigh of relief. Thank goodness.

My heart soared when I saw it was cloudy again today - they could come in!

The rest of the day passed just like yesterday, Edward looking longingly at Bella, Bella looking longingly at Edward. That was about it. But I couldn’t wait for later - she’d be nowhere near, and I’d have Edward all to myself.

Edward drove us all to theirs in his Silver Volvo, all of us finding some miraculous way to fit. Slowly the house came into view and it all became real.

Chapter Text

Esme came outside to greet us with hugs and smiles, and it surprised me how she hugged me with just as much warmth as any of her children.

“Sorry for running last time, just… my Dad…”

“It’s absolutely fine,” she grinned wider. “We don’t have much human food, but there’s some pop tarts if you want them,”

I smiled my thanks.

She patted my shoulders and went to talk to Emmett. Rosalie started to walk over, but Edward tapped my elbow, and guided me away. I threw an (almost) apologetic smile over my shoulder.

He turned to me once we were in a small-ish corridor, far away enough that no one could hear us.

“Figured out why I can’t hear your thoughts?” he asked. Even though we’d discussed it before, it was the first time that he’d asked why *I* could do it.

“So… it’s only a theory but… well, I’m not the only werewolf in Forks. There’s only a few, but I shifted first. I didn’t want to lead a pack, but I am an alpha, so I can’t stay in another. I decided to become a ‘lone wolf’.

Any wolves near enough to each other have a pack-mind - we can all read each others thoughts, even if we’re not in the same pack.

I didn’t want them to hear my thoughts, so I learnt to make psychic barriers to protect them. I’m guessing that’s why I can pick and choose when to let others read my mind,”

Apparently this was the wrong thing to say - his face grew stormy almost instantly.

“You mean you *wanted* me to see those thoughts?” Shit.

I blushed. “I just… I wanted to make you angry,” *I wanted you to notice me*. “I’m sorry,”

My eyes dropped to the floor.

“You bloody well succeeded.” He growled, throwing open a door, storming through, and slamming it in my face. It hurt, but I couldn’t say I was surprised. I tried to think of an explanation - besides me confessing - but it was impossible. No matter what I said, it would only make him angrier.

A few seconds later, the door banged open again, and Edward almost flew to his car. I ran as fast as I could after him.

“Where are you going?” I demanded.

“Bella’s in trouble,”

I threw open the door, and jumped inside as he started the engine.

“What are you doing?” He growled.

“Bella’s my best friend. If she’s in trouble, I’m coming. And are you going to waste time kicking me out of the car, or drive to her?” He groaned, but began to drive. That was just the problem - as much as I hated her for taking my imprint, she was still my friend. An older friend than any of the Cullens. She’s as important to me as much as I despise her. It’s fun trying to balance those.

“What is Bella to you?” He asked quietly, after about five minutes of silence, in which my eyes had barely left him, while his never strayed from the road ahead.

“She’s my friend.” I explained simply.

His tapping fingers indicated this was not enough.

“Our parents were friends when we were young, so we were. We could only see each other when she came for Summer. We tried to stay in touch with letters since she stopped coming, but…”

“What do you want from her?”

“Nothing. We’re just friends. And I don’t *want* to be anything more.” For some reason, I felt it was important he understood this.

“Well then, what are those thoughts about?” He gritted his teeth and growled in a low voice, in a way that I should *not* find sexy.

“I just… I wanted to make you angry,” I blushed hard at this, but thankfully, his eyes remained set on the road.

“Why?” Somehow his voice got even lower. I mean all he had to do was look at me and he’d figure it out.

“I…” I couldn’t tell him.

Edward skidded the car to a stop, threw open the door, and yelled “Get in.” Thank the gods.

Bella clambered in.

Edward spun the car, swerved around the men on the street, and accelerated away, far too quickly to be legal.

“Put your seat belt on,” he said in a cold voice.

I checked and mine was on, but then I realized he was talking to Bella. Of course. Not even five seconds in the car and I was unnoticeable.

“Are you okay?” Bella asked hoarsely.

“No,” he said curtly, his tone livid.

“Bella, you all right?” I asked.

“Yes,” she croaked softly.

“Distract me, please.” Edward asked.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Just prattle about something unimportant until I calm down,”

“Um… I’m going to run over Tyler Crowley tomorrow before school?” I had to muffle my laughter.

“Why?”

“He’s telling everyone that he’s taking my to prom - either he’s insane or he’s still trying to make up for almost killing me last… well, you remember it, ad he thinks *prom* is somehow the correct way to do this. So, I figure, if I endanger his life, then we’re even and he can’t keep trying to make amends. I don’t need enemies and maybe Lauren would back off if he left me alone. I might have to total his Sentra, though. If he doesn’t have a ride he can’t take anyone to prom…” she babbled.

“I heard about that,” he said, calmer now.

“*You* did?” she groaned. “If he’s paralyzed from the neck down, he can’t go to prom either,” she muttered.

Edward sighed.

“Better?” she asked.

“Not really.” He leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling of the car, his face cold.

“What’s wrong?”

“Sometimes I have a problem with my temper Bella,” he whispered. I probably hadn’t helped. “Bu it wouldn’t be helpful for me to turn around and hunt those…” he looked away.

“At least that’s what I’m trying to convince myself.” Honestly, I was there too. I might not have been able to read their minds, but I knew full well what those men were planning.

“Oh,” she paused. “Jessica and Angela will be worried. I was supposed to meet them,”

He started the engine again without another word, turning around smoothly and speeding back toward town.

We were under the streetlights in no time at all, still going too fast, weaving with ease through the cars slowly cruising the boardwalk. He parallel-parked against the curb in a space that should have been far too small for a Volvo.

They stepped out of the car, leaving me alone. The Volvo was sound-proofed, so all I could see was Edward staring at Bella. Groaning, I stepped out of the car as quietly as I could, trying to ignore them going into the restaurant together - it’s only make me more depressed.

So I got into the forest as soon as I could, and started running. Until I left my worries behind. Until I couldn’t think. Until I left *them* behind. I didn’t notice when I phased, only that I had.

Eventually, when I was too tired to move anymore, I slowed, and the thoughts of what I should be doing caught up to me. The Cullens had just seen Edward and I run off, and drive away. They had no idea what was going on. Well, Alice could probably tell them *some* of it, let them know that we were safe, but I should go back.

“Yeah, it’s fine, we’re all okay. Bella was in a little trouble in Port Angeles. Edward took her to a restaurant to get her some food, then took her home.”

Carlisle was about to talk when something launched itself at me, pinning me to the floor. I was Edward. He punched me in the face so hard, I could feel my face bruising already, maybe breaking a cheekbone. And yet all I could do was gaze upwards at him, way too turned-on at the sight of him above me, holding me down, engulfed in his sandalwood scent. He tried to do it again, but Emmett and Jasper grabbed his arms.

He snarled at me as they dragged him off. He turned to face Carlisle.

“He told Bella. He told Bella I’m a *vampire*.” He snarled the last word at me.

Carlisle looked to me.

“Is this true, Jacob?”

“Uh…” All their faces flashed with emotion.

“I think you should leave,” Carlisle said coldly.

I nodded, and forced myself to stand on legs that refused. I almost collapsed, but no one tried to help. Not that they should. Eventually, I made it out the door, and began to make my way home, alone again. All was right in the world again.

Chapter Text

I got home late, having limped the entire way. For a moment, I thought a saw a silver car driving away, but I must have been seeing things.

I opened the door to see Dad glaring at me.

“Where have you been!” It was *not* a question.

“You tell me you’re going out with *vampires*, then you don’t come home on time? Not a call! Not a text! Nothing. I thought you had *died*. I can’t even ask Sam to look for you - you’re on *their* property, and thanks to your stupid mind-shield, they couldn’t even tell whether you were alive!” He yelled. I didn’t have the patience for this.

“You done?” I ask.

“You done! I’m your father, you don’t talk to me like that. And you know what - you’re done. You’re grounded for a month.”

“Dad,” I almost growled. “Did you not thin as to *why* I might be late? *Why* I might not text? Bella was in trouble, and we had to drive to *bloody* Port Angeles to stop her from being fucking gang-raped! Then I’m on my way home and get fucking beaten up? And it’s not like I’ll be spending much time with anyone - all my ‘friends’ hate me now. You happy?” I glare at his stunned face as I walk into my room and slam the door. I’ve never yelled at him before. But it made me feel… strong. And I needed that tonight.

He didn’t deserve it. *I* knew that. He was only worried about me.

Sighing, I got up and walked over to Dad, giving him a tight hug.

I murmur into his shoulder, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. It’s just been…”

“A lot?” he finished. “I know. I’m sorry son,” He patted my back and we broke apart.

“Good night Dad,”

“Night,”

I clambered into bed and tried to clear my swirling, guilt-riddled mind.

About three thing was I absolutely positive: First, Edward was a Cold One. Second, some subconscious part of him hated me. And third, I was impossibly, and insanely in love with him.

Chapter Text

I couldn’t bear going in. I just… couldn’t. Bella would be there, and Edward would be fawning all over her, and none of the Cullens would even look at me becuase they all *hate* me now. And it isn’t like I had the foresight to many any other friends.

Groaning, I turned over, and tried to fall back to sleep.

Chapter Text

I refused to get up until the next evening, and *that* was only because Dad dragged me out of bed with the explanation: “You’re going to see Bella”.

I drove us in a small black car Dad had bought as a replacement for the truck up to Charlie’s.

I got out of the car, and saw Edward. Shit. My heart started beating like crazy, my lips parted, and then I remembered and looked away. By the time I looked back, he was gone.

“Jacob?” Bella asked, squinting.

I grinned at her, ignoring the dead weight inside.

Dad got out of the car, staring at Bella with an intense anxiety.

“Another one corrupted by those vampires,” Dad whispered. If it wasn’t for his despondent tone, and the lack of resentment in his voice, I would have shot a glare. Once we got inside, Dad sat with Charlie to watch the game, while Bella and I started making some food.

“How’ve you been?”

“Good, good,” I nodded. “You?”

“Oh, no. You’re not playing this game with me. I know we haven’t been speaking so much, but I *know* when you’re feeling down. And Edward ran off pretty quickly when he saw you. Did something happen?”

“I… I fucked up. I wasn’t supposed to tell you about them being… “

“Ohhh… Okay. Well it can’t be that bad - it *was* only one person. And I would have figured it out anyway.”

I swallowed. “They have grounds to *execute* me. All they want is for me to leave them be. I should be grateful.”

“Did they *ask* you to leave them *forever*? I’m sure they just want some time. I can talk to Edward if you want,”

“No.” I replied bluntly. All I could think of was *her* arms wrapped around him, him kissing *her* goodnight at the door. I bit my lip so hard that it drew blood.

“What, Jacob?” she said sharply.

“I can’t. I’m sorry.” I started to walk away.

“No, Jacob. You are not walking away. We’re best friends. You *can* tell me what’s going on-”

“No, Bella, I can’t. And are we friends if we haven’t spoken in months? I’ve *always* been the one keeping this relationship going. I’ve just been hanging on, like the fucking puppy dog that I am. So *now* I’m going to leave. And don’t you dare stop me.” She didn’t.

I knew I was only taking my anger out on her, but none of what I was saying was wrong, and I’d felt that way for a while. It was good to get it off my chest. One less problem.

I didn’t bother going to school the next day. Dad didn’t mind after the scene I made at Charlie’s.

The next morning I decided I needed to do *something*. I phased as soon as I got outside, and started running. There really was nothing better than having everything moving past you so quickly that you can’t even see it. (With an exception of Edward’s presence, of course.)

After a few hours of straight running, I collapsed and phased back, panting and exhausted. I fell asleep right there on the forest floor, and I didn’t wake up until it was noon.

///

A/N

I would like to make a special thanks to Grizzlies for being my second paid member!!!

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Chapter Text

Blinking my eyes open, I was sure that I was dreaming. Edward was lying in the sunlight, and my *god*. His skin, white despite the faint flush, sparkled, like a diamond dust coated the surface. He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted chest, his scintillating arms bare. His eyelids glistened in the rays. A statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal.

But, of course, Bella’s presence woke me up. She lay curled up beside him. Of course she was. Wrapped around him like she belonged there.

“I don’t scare you?” he asked playfully.

Shit. I couldn’t let them find out I was here. I needed to leave before he heard my heartbeat.

I got up but only made it one step before Edward cursed.

“Fuck are you doing Jake?” Never heard him swear before. Huh.

I walked over, and saw a very confused look on Bella’s face.

“I was-”

“Not what are you doing *here*, what are you *trying* to do? Why do you keep showing up? What do you want? Why did you tell Bella?” Edward demanded.

I had no idea what to say, but I had to say something, so without thinking I blurted out the truth. “I wanted to make her scared of you.”

“Why? So she’d run into *your* arms? You’re a werewolf, remember,” he scoffed.

“What?” Bella asked, confused.

“*He* likes showing me these ‘dirty thoughts’ about you, to piss me oof. Or so he says,”

Bella turns an accusing eye to me. “Really?

I didn’t answer.

Groaning, she stood, pushing herself up.

“Ow!” she flinched, a thistle in her finger.

“I’m fine,” she declared, pulling it out.

A drop of blood welled on the wound. I saw Edward’s pupils dilate, focused on her. Shit.

“Bella, run!” I yelled, launching myself at him.

After a second, she realized and started running.

Edward writhed underneath me, snapping and snarling and damningly sexy. I wouldn’t be able to keep him here for long, unless I transformed, and I was too scared of hurting him to try that. I had to find a way to get his mind off of it. Off of Bella. He kept looking towards her, and I knew that he wanted to be with her more than anything in the world. But I knew what I wanted more than anything.

Before I could condemn it, I pressed my lips to his. For a moment he fought, but then… he stopped. I kissed him hard, pushing him against the floor. He pushed back. His flailing arms stilled, wrapping around my neck, pulling my closer. He slipped his tongue through my teeth and started exploring my mouth. I reciprocated. He tasted rich and deep, sweet underneath it all. It was delicious. I could feel his lips soft against mine, the sweet smells of the flowers rising around us. Perfect. He flipped us over, so now he was pinning me down, straddling my waist, making me reach up to kiss him. I lost all the breath that remained in my lungs.

And then he pulled away.

“How did you know to do that?” he asked, slightly dazed. I looked back at his lips. Why did he have to stop it? Urgh.

“I… I guessed,” I was still trying to catch my breath, and process what had just happened.

He stretched and stood, before announcing “I should go. Bella needs me to drive her home.” Then he ran.

Shit. Fuck me. I’m too drunk on his taste, his scent, to care that he left me for her again. At least, for now.

Chapter Text

I found myself wandering through the woods, somewhere I didn’t quite recognize, but still felt vaguely familiar. I was far away enough that I couldn’t see any houses, but I could hear the cars going down the road, infrequent as they were.

In a way, this place was like me - completely separate from the civilized world, but close enough to know it, and tamed enough to be walked *all over*.

But it was a cool, quiet night. Calming. I breathed in the woodsy-scented air around me and felt my heart slow.

I should do this more often I decided. Get away from people. From drama. From *them*. *Him*. Damn. Couldn’t even go five fucking minutes without thinking about him. Fucking lovely. Not desperate. *At. All.*

A soft rustling blew through the trees, sounding almost like whispers. Probably some leaves or branches blowing in the wind.

But then I heard it more clearly. Curious, I tried to follow the noise, but I didn’t need to go far until I could hear *exactly* what was being said.

“No, it looks good on you.” A low, velvety, oddly familiar voice, said.

“Thanks,”

“What was all that for?”

“Charlie thinks I’m sneaking out.” Charlie? But that would mean-

“Oh… Why?”

“Apparently, I look a little over excited.”

“You look very warm, actually.”

Shit. Why couldn’t I get away from them for a single *fucking* hour?

But because I’m such a masochist, I try to take a closer look. I jump up to the tree just outside Bella’s window quietly, but Edward was too busy staring at Bella to hear.

My ears stated to ring as I watched him press his lips against her throat, trace a collarbone with his finger.

I jumped down, phasing as I did so, landing on all fours.

I ran the way home, and collapsed in my bed, shaking furiously. I didn’t know if it was because of the cold, having run so far, hate for Bella, the sheer *wanting* for Edward. I forced all the air out of my lungs, the shaking along with it. But I couldn’t help feeling Edward’s phantom limbs holding me tight until I fell asleep. And even then. And somehow, in the lack of him, I felt even colder than I had before.

---

I would like to make a special thanks to Lakes for being my third paid member!!!

Becoming a paid member helps with my work so much, as it means I can prioritize making this content over anything else (that I would rather not do) and has the added bonus of motivating me to work even harder to make all of you guys happy!!!

I really hope you enjoy being here in my page, and I hope that you're going to enjoy what's going on in our future!

Chapter Text

I woke up bleary eyed, blinking in the dimmed light. I stretched and rolled over, refusing to even contemplate getting up.

“Hi.” I yelped, bolting up.

“The. *Fuck*?” I glared at Rosalie, laughing in the corner. “Don’t jump-scare me like that. It’s way too early for that shit.”

“Really. Well, I *was* going to give you a chance at reparations for what you did, but if you aren’t interested…”

“No, no, I’ll do it. I just meant that humans are *not* meant to be awake this early,”

“It’s half-eight,”

“Is it? What were you saying about making up for it?” I asked, my eyes still closed.

“Bella’s coming over today. If you drive Edward’s Volvo to them at Charlie’s house, *and* play nice with *everyone* today, that’s a good first step.” I knew who she meant by ‘everyone’.

“Okay, okay, just *one* minute,”

She threw some freezing water she’d managed to procure onto my face, making me splutter.

“No.”

She threw the keys on the bed and left.

Grinning, I got up, brushed my teeth, and showered. I tried, and failed, to convince myself that I hadn’t decided to wash my face today, or to wear the best outfit I could find for any particular reason. *Definitely* not t impress Edward. Never. I went on autopilot driving to the Cullens’, taking the Volvo to Charlie’s. I yawned as I leant against the silver metalwork, waiting for Edward and Bella to come out.

“I love you.” A whisper wafted from Bella’s window.

“You’re my life now,” Fuck. Twist the knife, anyone?

Steeling myself, I grinned as I interrupted, jumping up to the tree, then through the open window.

“Chop chop lovebirds, they’re waiting,”

“Jacob?” Bella looked bewildered. To be fair, I had just appeared from thin air.

Edward smirked, and looked me dead in the eye. He *knew* I’d hear. Fuck. He was doing what I’d been doing before. Gods.

“Who’s waiting?” Bella asked, finally caught up.

“Oh, hasn’t he popped the question yet?” I paused, letting Bella give a horrified look to Edward. “The Cullens want to meet you.”

Instantly her face relaxed, then tensed up again.

“I… need to go get ready,” she murmured as she left. Edward smirked again, and followed.

Sighing, I jumped back out the window, to go wait by the car again

By the time I could hear them again, I had mentally prepared myself.

“Will you be? Will you really be here?”

“As long as you want me,”

“I’ll always want you. Forever.”

It’d be cheesy if I didn’t feel the same way. The only difference - he liked *her* back.

I decided that the best way to retain mental stability was to wait *inside* the soundproofed car. I clambered onto the backseat, and just sat there, savoring the glorious, glorious silence.

After about five minutes, they made it into the car. Thankfully, they stayed quiet the entire ride there, though I wasn’t sure if they had even noticed my presence.

Edward drove us over the bridge at Calawah River, before turning onto an unpaved road, unmarked and barely visible among the ferns. A near perfect disguise. The forest encroached on both sides, leaving the road ahead only discernible for a few meters as it twisted, like a huge snake, around the ancient trees.

After a few miles, the woods thinnyed, and we emerged into a small clearing. Six huge cedars shaded the whole area, enclosing the house beneath in pure shadow.

“Wow,” Bella gasped.

I couldn’t judge her. The house and the atmosphere was brilliant.

The house was timeless, graceful, and looked a hundred years old, even though I knew it was far older. It was painted a soft, faded white, three stories tall, rectangular and well proportioned. The Volvo was the only car in sight. I could hear the bubbling river close by, hidden in the obscurity of the forest.

“You like it?” Edward smiled. Why couldn’t he look at *me* like that?

“It… has a certain charm.”

I groaned and stepped out of the car. They didn’t even pause their conversation. Why would they? They’re both so *enamored* with each other that they wouldn’t notice if the sun exploded.

They got out the car a minute later, Edward holding Bella’s hand. I ignored the twinge in my hand where his hand would have been if he held mine. They walked in and Bella shook hands with Carlisle and Esme, me standing quiet behind, trying to hide my rage.

Esme smiled when she saw me, and hugged me tight when they had moved on to greet Alice and Jasper.

“Bella, I would like to have a conversation with you in the other room,” Carlisle announced.

Bella started to walk, and Edward followed.

“*Privately*.” he said, giving Edward a sharp look. Edward nodded and stayed behind.

“Is it yours?” I asked Esme, nodding toward the huge grand piano.

“No,” she laughed. “Edward didn’t tell you he was musical?”

“No.” I glanced incredulously at him. He smirked, but I could tell he was feeling prideful. The bastard.

“I should have known, I guess.”

Esme raised her eyebrows, confused.

“Well, *Edward* can do *everything*, right?”

Jasper burst out laughing, and Esme shot a glare at Edward.

“I hope you haven’t been showing off - it’s rude,”

“Just a bit,” he laughed.

“It’s kinda annoying. I should like to find *one* thing he doesn’t excel at.”

“Well, I can’t help you with *that*. Edward, why don’t you play something?”

“You just said showing off was rude,” Arrogant much? But I *needed* to hear him play.

“There are exceptions to every rule,” she admonished.

“I’d like to hear you play.” I admitted, and for some reason, it was enough to convince him. He grabbed my hand, sitting me down on the bench beside him and letting go before my brain got stuck looping ‘He held my hand’ for too long.

His fingers began to flow along the keys, drawing pure beauty out of them. I felt my chin drop, my mouth open in astonishment, and heard Edward chuckle at my reaction.

I glanced at him, and he was gazing at me unabashedly. My heart caught in my chest, my breath in my lungs. He winked. “Do you like it?”

I couldn’t be bothered to fight against the warm fuzzies. I smiled, and it came more easily than any smile before. “I love it, it’s gorgeous.”

He turned back to focus on the keys, and I felt the melody soar and surge around me. I’d never been much of poet, but when engulfed by a melody as perfect as this, even the most arhythmical person would struggle to create anything ugly.

How can I love when I’m afraid to fall?

I have loved you for a thousand years

And I’ll love you for a thousand more

Edward smiled widely at me.

“It’s lovely.” My heart felt like a hummingbird’s - beating 1260 times a minute. I wanted him to play for me. Just me.

“I wrote it for Bella.”

“Do you think she’ll like it?” He asked it so purely and genuinely it would have been beautiful if it didn’t break me. I felt the high of the song come crashing down. My mouth was dry and it felt like every drop of life had been drained from me.

“Yeah,” I choke out. “She’ll love it.”

I got up, and left, desperate to find Rosalie. I couldn’t deal with this anymore.

---

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Chapter Text

By the time I find Rosalie, I’m shaking and swallowing tears.

“Shit, Jacob!” she runs over and hugs me tight. “What the *hell* did that simpering little bitch do *this* time?”

“She’s not *that* bad,” Emmett said. Rosalie glared at him.

“It… wasn’t… her,” I manage through sobs. “It’s *him*.”

Emmett looked at me, confused. Thank the gods - Rosalie obviously hadn’t told him anything.

“What did he do?” Rosalie asked, more concern in her eyes now.

“He played… song… romantic,” I choked, “then… for Bella.” Rosalie’s eyes widened.

“Awww, Jacob…” she squeezed me tighter, stroking my hair.

“I can’t do this anymore,” I admitted. “It hurts too damn much.”

“We all have difficulties. Challenges. It’s what makes us strong, and makes us who we are. Otherwise, we’d be wishy-washy, namby-pamby babies, rather than developed and interesting people.

“Let me tell you a story.

“When I was human, I was the most beautiful girl in the city. And my fiancé was the most eligible bachelor - rich, and I thought, kind. However, one day, I was on the streets at night. He was drunk, with his friends. He came over, and asked for me to take my clothes off. He and his friends worked together trying to get them off. When I tried to run, they hit me. I died that night.

“That night I became a vampire. And I knew what I had to do. I had to deal with a horrible fiancé and all his dirty friends. And I did. I wore the dress I was supposed to wear to our wedding to kill them all.

“It made me who I am, and proved to me that I am more than just a pretty face. I am powerful, and I will fight to get what I want.

“I know it’s hard now, but it *will* pay off. Maybe not in the way you think, but it will.”

“I spent years thinking all I was good for was being looked at. That I’d never be *chosen* for who I am. You’re not just the wolf imprinting on someone. You’re Jacob. That’s *already* enough.”

I smiled at her, tears having slowed to a stop, the lump in my throat melting. I rubbed my red-rimmed eyes.

“Thanks Rosalie. That really helped,”

“Not a problem. I like helping *you*. And you can call me Rose,”

“Still. Thank you so. goddamn. much. Rose. You helped a lot.”

She squeezed tighter, then let go. “Alice is coming,” she whispered.

“There’s going to be a storm tonight,” Alice announced, so excited she was bouncing. “You wanna play?”

“Fuck yeah!” Emmett yelled, glad to be able to understand *this* interaction. He ran out of the room after Alice.

Rosalie laughed, and I glanced at her. “What will we be playing?”

“*You* can watch. And it’s baseball.”

“Vampire baseball? Sounds fun.”

Chapter Text

I raced with Rosalie and Jasper to the clearing - the rest of the Cullens had already left. I ran through the forest like I’d never run before, Jasper hot on my heels, Rosalie miles (literally) ahead of us.

Closing my eyes, I moved through the trees on autopilot - I’d run through so many times I knew it like the flecks in Edward’s eyes.

We arrived at the clearing soon after, to see Alice and Emmett, playing ball, while Carlisle set up bases each a few miles apart.

A loud coughing announced Edward and Bella’s arrival. When they didn’t respond, Rosalie rolled her eyes, scoffing, and strode away. I followed soon after.

Esme looked after me pleadingly, begging me to convince Rosalie to play.

“Come on, they’re only two people out of eleven. It’s fine.”

She groaned. “You sure you’re okay that they’re here?”

“I mean I suffer through it at school fine, and vampire baseball sounds far more distracting than trig.”

“Fine. But don’t expect me to play nice.”

I smirked. “I hope you don’t. It’ll be more fun that way.”

She ran to join them on the field. I turned the other way, and jogged over to Esme and Bella, already deep in conversation.

Once I’d reached them, I sat so I could check what they were doing. Edward was far out in left field, Carlisle stood between the first and second bases, and Alice held the ball, positioned on the spot that must be the pitcher’s mound. Emmett was swinging an aluminum bat: it whistled almost untraceably through the air. Jasper stood several feet behind him, catching for the other team.

“All right,” Esme called out. “Batter up.”

Alice stood straight, unmoving. She held the ball in both hands at her waist, and then, like the strike of a cobra, her right hand flicked out and the ball smacked into Jasper’s hand.

Jasper hurtled the ball back into Alice’s waiting hand. She grinned to herself. And then she threw it again.

This time the bat somehow made it around in time to smash into the ball. The crack of impact was shattering, thundering in an endless echo off the mountains.

The ball shot like a meteor above the field, flying deep into the surrounding forest. Edward was a blur, taking off after it.

Mere moments later, Edward sprang from the fringe of the trees, ball in his upraised hand, his beautiful, bubbling laugh flowing from his wide smile.

The inning continued before my incredulous eyes. It was impossible to keep up with the speed at which the ball flew, the rate at which their bodies raced around the field. How were werewolves even meant to compete with *this*? Emmett’s team had only managed one point - Rosalie managed to flit around the bases after tagging upon one of Emmett’s long flies.

Edward sprinted to Bella, excitement sparkling out of him.

“What do you think?”

“One thing’s for sure, I’ll never be able to sit through dull old major league baseball again,”

“And it sounds like you did so much of that before,” he laughed.

“I am a little disappointed,” she admitted.

“Why?”

“Well, it would be nice if I could find just one thing you didn’t do better than everyone else on the planet.” She’s fucking stealing *my* lines now, the little bitch.

He flashed his special crooked smile, pulling the ground out from under me.

“I’m up,” he said, heading for the plate. Thank the gods. I couldn’t put up with much more of this (his gorgeousness or their ‘love’).

He played intelligently, keeping the ball low, out of the reach of Rosalie’s always ready hand in the out field, gaining two bases like lightning before Emmett could get the ball back in play. Carlisle knocked one so far out of the field - with a boom that gave me shellshock - that he and Edward both made it in. Alice high-fived them both.

The score changed constantly as the game continued, and they razzed each other like any street ball players as they took turns with the lead. Occasionally, Esme would call them to order. The thunder rumbled on, but we stayed dry, like Alice had predicted.

I was watching Edward prepare to catch Carlisle’s ball when Alice gasped. His head shot up to look at her, and after a moment of understanding, he ran over to Bella before anyone could ask Alice what was wrong.

“Alice?” I asked, my voice catching.

“I didn’t see- I couldn’t tell,” she whispered.

Everyone gathered around her.

“What is it, Alice?” Carlisle asked calmly.

“They were travelling much quicker than I thought. I can see I had the perspective wrong before,” she murmured.

Jasper leaned over her, his body language betraying his protectiveness. “What changed?” he asked.

“They heard us playing, and it changed their path,” *I* could feel her guilt, and I wasn’t even the empath. Everyone except Rosalie looked worriedly at Bella. I see how it is.

“How soon?” Carlisle asked Edward.

He closed his eyes, intense concentration crossing his face. Less than five minutes. They’re running - they want to play.” He scowled.

“Can you make it?”

“No, not carrying- “ he cut short. “Besides, the last thing we need is for them to catch the scent and start hunting.

“I could take her. My scent might cover hers, and werewolves are faster.” I offer.

“Doesn’t take care of the scent still here,” Edward said.

“But it does mean that she’d be in less danger right now.” Carlisle condemned. “If you wouldn’t mind, Jacob. And do hurry back.

I nod, before phasing, only realizing that this is the first time any of them have seen me transform from the surprise on their faces. But Edward? Edward smirked, looking down into my wolf eyes.

After they recover, Carlisle helps Bella onto my back. She grabs tufts of fur from my back, pulling it tight. Shit. I’ma come out of this hairless.

“This is so weird,” she muttered. “You’re… furry.”

No shit, I thought.

I turned and ran, straight for Charlie’s house. When we arrived she was slightly shocked, but eventually she clambered down. I watched her walk inside, then headed back.

I got to the clearing quickly - the others hadn’t arrived yet. They’d decided to continue with the game, but I’d be lying if I said that I hadn’t noticed the way Rosalie and Alice positioned themselves closer to me. But Edward zoomed past their guard.

“She all right?”

“Yeah. Watched her go through the front door.”

He nodded. “Thank you,”

I wish it didn’t make me delirious to hear those words.

He gave me his jacket. For a moment I was confused, until I realized. I put it on, the smell of a vampire (hopefully) covering my werewolf scent.

Trying to hide what I was doing, I sniffed it, the smell that was so uniquely *Edward* nearly enough to make my swoon.

“Okay. Stay very still, keep quiet, and don’t move from my side, please.” I smiled up at him.

I turned to face right field, and got ready to phase.

Chapter Text

They emerged as one from the forest edge, ranging a dozen meters apart. The first male into the clearing fell back immediately, allowing the other male to take the front, orienting himself around the tall, dark-haired man in a manner that clearly displayed who led the clan. The third was a woman; from this distance, all I could see of her was that her hair was a startling shade of red.

They closed ranks before they continued cautiously toward Edward’s family, exhibiting the natural respect of a troop of predators as it encounters a larger, unfamiliar group of its own kind.

As they approached, I could see how different they were from the Cullens. Their walk was cat-like, a gait that seemed constantly on the edge of shifting into a crouch. They dressed in the ordinary gear of backpackers: jeans and casual button-down shirts in heavy, weather-proof fabrics. The clothes were frayed, though, with wear, and they were barefoot. Both men had cropped hair, but the woman’s brilliant orange hair was filled with leaves and debris from the woods.

Their sharp eyes carefully took in the more polished, urban stance of Carlisle, who, flanked by Emmett and Jasper, stepped guardedly forward to meet them, they each straightened into a more casual, erect bearing.

The man in the front was easily the most beautiful, his skin olive-toned beneath the typical pallor, his hair a glossy black. He was of a medium build, hard-muscled, of course, but nothing next to Emmett’s brawn. He smiled an easy smile, exposing a flash of gleaming white teeth.

The woman was wilder, her eyes shifting restlessly between the men facing her, and the loose grouping around me, her chaotic hair quivering in the slight breeze. Her posture was distinctly feline. The second male hovered unobtrusively behind them, slighter than the leader, his light brown hair and regular features both non-descript. His gaze, though completely still, seemed the most vigilant.

The most clear difference was the eyes. Not the gold or black I had grown used to, but a sinister burgundy, closer to what my father had told me to expect.

The dark-haired man, still smiling, stepped toward Carlisle.

“We thought we heard a game,” he said in a slight French accent. “I’m Laurent, these are Victoria and James.” He gestured to the other two vampires.

“I’m Carlisle. This is my family: Emmet and Rosalie, Alice and Jasper, Jacob and Edward, and Esme. He pointed us out in groups, deliberately not calling attention to individuals. I realized that he thought I was in as much danger as Bella would have been - so why did he want me to be here? Then it clicked - they were more likely to notice me, and therefore, not Bella. Love that for me.

“Do you have room for a few more players?” Laurent asked.

Carlisle matched Laurent’s friendly tone. “Actually, we were just finishing up. But we would certainly be interested another time. Are you planning to stay in the area long?”

“We’re headed up North, in fact, but we were curious to see who was in the neighborhood. We haven’t run into any company in a long time.”

“No, this region is usually empty except for us and the occasional visitor, like yourselves.”

Somehow, Jasper had managed to transform the tense atmosphere into a casual conversation.

“What’s your hunting range?”

“The Olympic Range here, up and down the Coast Ranges on occasion. We keep up a permanent residence nearby. There’s another permanent settlement like ours up near Denali.” That’s news.

Laurent whistled, slightly stunned. “Permanent? How do you manage that?”

“Why don’t you come back to our home with us and we can talk comfortably? It’s a rather long story.”

“That sounds very interesting and welcome. We’ve been on the hunt all the way down from Ontario, and we haven’t had the chance to clean up in a while.” He explained, clearly conscious of Carlisle’s refined appearance.

“Please don’t take offense, but we’d appreciate it if you’d refrain from hunting in this immediate area. We have to keep inconspicuous, you understand,”

“Of course,” Laurent nodded. “We certainly won’t encroach on your territory. We just ate outside of Seattle anyway,” he laughed. I had to stifle the instinctive snarl.

“We’ll show you the way if you’d like to run with us - Jasper and Alice, you can go with Edward and Jacob to get the Jeep.”

I felt the breeze shift to be blowing from behind me. Shit. It would carry my scent straight to them. It died down quickly, but it was too late. James lurched forward into a crouch, nostrils flaring. Edward bared his teeth, matching the stance, a feral snarl ripping from his throat. Nothing about this one was sexy - chills shot straight through me, from head-to-toe. He was probably scared they’d picked up on Bella.

“What’s this?” Laurent exclaimed, confused.

“He’s with us.” Carlisle told James sternly.

“But he’s a werewolf?” Laurent said, confused.

Edward snarled more, his lip curling. Laurent backed away.

“They were meant to have been wiped out,” Laurent protested, not aggressive, merely astounded.

“Yes.” James stood slowly, but Edward didn’t move a muscle. I wondered whether he was stuck.

“It appears we have a lot to learn about each other.” Laurent said soothingly - trying to diffuse the high tensions.

“Indeed.” Carlisle said in the same tone.

“But we’d like to accept your invitation.” He glanced at me, then back to Carlisle. “And of course, we will not harm the wolf. We won’t hunt in your range, as I said.”

After a moment, Carlisle spoke. “We’ll show you the way. Emmett, Rosalie, Esme?” he called. They gathered, blocking me from sight.

“Let’s go, Jake.” Edward grabbed my arm and pulled me along. I didn’t need asking twice.

Once we got into the trees, he pulled me onto his shoulders. I was about to protest - phasing and having him on my back would have been faster - but he was already running, Alice and Jasper following. It barely took a minute to get to the Jeep. I was the first in, Alice jumping in beside me, Edward reaching across me to strap me in. For that split moment, his curls brushed my face, and I tried to discreetly inhale his unique scent.

I sat as they planned, feeling incredibly out of my depth.

“Bella isn’t in any danger,” Alice said. “They didn’t notice her at all.”

“What if they follow his scent?” Edward demands.

“Werewolf scent is easier to smell - he’ll be able to tell that there’s fresher trails than that. He won’t bother them.”

“What about my Dad?” I asked, suddenly frantic.

“He’ll be fine too.” Alice reassured.

“We don’t even know that they’ll come after me,” I realized.

“They will.” Edward said. “They…” he gulped. “James wants you as a trophy. He thinks you’re the last werewolf.”

“And he’s going to continue to believe that!” I command. “If he goes after anyone else… I need to get out of Forks.”

“I agree,” Jasper said.

Edward shot him a glare.

“It’s the most strategic move.”

“Least casualties, too,” Alice said.

“How likely is it that he’ll get hurt?!” Edward yelled. My heart caught in my chest.

“I… I don’t know. It’s too soon to tell. They don’t have a plan for if you leave yet.”

“That’s. Not. Good. Enough!” Edward barked, fury incarnate.

Jasper growled at him, blazing with anger. Edward answered it with a louder growl.

“Guys. This bark-off isn’t going to help. I’m going to leave Forks. End of.”

We all look to Edward. I’m not sure *why* - he doesn’t own me. Though, I wouldn’t mind.

“It’s too dangerous - I don’t want him somewhere I can’t protect him. Where they could get him.” I blush deeply. I didn’t realize he cared this much.

“Edward, we can keep them here.” Jasper said.

Alice closed her eyes. “I don’t think he’ll attack unless Jacob’s alone.”

“I am like, built to kill vampires. I can handle myself.” The looks everyone gave me told me that was out of the question.

“Fine,” Edward conceded. “We’ll go to the house. Grab some clothes that will fit. Then we’ll go.”

Chapter Text

Edward stepped on it, driving faster than he’s ever driven me before - and that’s saying something. According to Alice’s estimates, the prime time for us to leave would be in 15 minutes. But of course, because the world likes to annoy me, Laurent was there.

When I saw him, I growled, low and deep, surprising everyone, especially me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward smirk.

Laurent held his hands up as I stared him down, my eyes flashing the hazel of my wolf eyes.

“He means no harm.” Carlisle informed us calmly.

I stopped the snarl, but my eyes stayed bright, piercing straight through him. Jasper grinned across at me. I guess it’s working.

“You’re a werewolf,”

“Clearly.” I say as dryly as possible.

“You can’t bring him down. I’ve never seen anything like him in my three hundred years. He’s absolutely lethal. That’s why I joined his coven.”

‘*His* coven,’ I thought, ‘of course. The show of leadership in the clearing was merely that - a show.’

Laurent looked to Carlisle. “Are you sure he’s worth it?”

Edward growled at him, and he jumped.

“Maybe you’ve never seen anything like him before, but no one’s seen a werewolf for a long time. *He* should be scared of *me*.” Edward smiled approvingly, making this whole ordeal worth it.

Carlisle looked gravely at Laurent. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to make a choice.”

Laurent understood. He deliberated for a moment, taking in every face, and finally his eyes swept the bright room.

“I’m intrigued by the life you’ve created here. But I won’t get in the middle of this. I bear none of you any enmity, but I won’t go up against James. I think I will head up North. To that clan in Denali.” He hesitated. “Don’t underestimate James. He’s got a brilliant mind and unparalleled senses. He’s every bit as comfortable in the human world as you seem to be, and he won’t come at you head on… I’m sorry for what’s been unleashed here. Truly sorry.” He bowed his head, but I saw him flicker another puzzled look at me.

“Go in peace,” Carlisle said.

Laurent took another long look around himself, and hurried out the door.

The door hadn’t even closed when Bella ran in.

“What are you doing here?” Edward demanded.

“I heard Jacob was in trouble. I came to help.”

“Bella,” Esme said softly. “This is a vampire. One human doesn’t stand a chance.”

Rosalie laughed. “Come on. Let her help if she wants. Who knows, maybe he’ll switch targets to her. Two birds with one stone.”

“Rosalie!” Esme yelled. “Take that back. Right now.” It was the first time I’d ever heard Esme raise her voice.

“Why should I?” she hissed. “What is she to me? Except a menace - a danger you’ve chosen to inflict on all of us. A monster breaking her best friend’s heart.” she gestured angrily at me. “An ungrateful *bitch*.” She spat the last word, turning on her heel and walking away, Emmett chasing after her.

Bella flinched backwards as if she’s been slapped. (Though, if Rosalie had actually slapped her, she would have flown rather than flinched.) “Jacob, what… what does she mean?”

“What *does* she mean?” Edward rounded on me.

“Don’t we have *slightly* more important issues - like the tracker? We can talk about it later. For now, let’s manage the current issue.”

Edward took a deep breath, and turned to Esme. He didn’t even need to speak. Esme pulled Bella into her arms, dashing up the stairs.

Edward fixed his narrowed eyes on me.

“What was she talking about?”

“It doesn’t matter. There’s more important things.” I dismissed.

“It is important. If you like her, then you’ve lied to me. Then how can I trust you not to hurt my family the second it benefits you?”

“The fuck? No! She’s my best friend! How many times do I have to tell you? I don’t like her!” I yell, slightly grossed out. Bella? No. Didn’t help my mood that he had me backed into a corner. (Figuratively. If he had me in a corner physically, I’d be having a *very* different reaction.)

“Then what did she mean?” He growled.

“You’re *really* fucking dense, especially for a guy who can read minds. Why do I want to make you upset? What do *I* want?” I was yelling at that point. Here’s to hoping Bella didn’t hear. “Who broke my heart?” I was constantly advancing, until I was less than a foot away from him, glaring up into his confused eyes.

“I want *you*, you dumb idiot.” I reached up, cupping his neck, and pull him down to kiss me.

At first, his lips were cold hard stone, unyielding, but then, just as I was about to pull away, an arm wrapped around my waist as he pulled me even closer. He bit my lower lip softly, and I open my mouth willingly. The cold of his tongue against mine, exploring my mouth felt *perfect*, like an oasis in a desert I didn’t realize I was trapped in. Melting into my mouth, cold and sweet. I reciprocated, desperate to go deeper, to find the nuances in how he tasted, and he managed to take control of that too. Slowly, he dragged the cold point of a fang down the length of my tongue—an icy kiss of danger, and I trembled at the feeling. He owned every part of me in that moment. Then he reclaimed my mouth. A small noise escaped from the back of my throat as he did so, and I felt him grin against my mouth as I blushed. Reluctantly, he pulled away, pupils dilated (desire, this time, not for blood), gazing deep into my eyes.

Rosalie wolf-whistled, apparently back from her walk, and Alice gave us a slow clap. Carlisle cleared his throat.

“As enjoyable as you found that, we do have more important issues at hand,”

“What? Huh… ohhh, yeah, the tracker,” Edward stammered. I smirked. *I* did that.

He hesitated for another second, then continued. “Emmett, Carlisle, and I will go to hunt James.” Emmett nodded, pulling a heavy-looking backpack on.

When Bella and Esme came down, Carlisle gave Esme and Alice each a small silver phone.

“Bella, Esme, and Rosalie will take Bella’s truck.” Bella nodded, and glanced at Rosalie, who was glowering at Edward for that decision.

“Alice, and Jasper, you’ll take Jacob in the Mercedes. You’ll need the dark tint in the South.” They nodded.

“Let’s go.” Carlisle said, beckoning Edward, whose eyes had been constantly flickering between Bella and I since she had come down.

He nodded, before turning and leaving, Emmett and Carlisle following. I noticed how he had completely ignored Bella. I guessed he was feeling guilty. I *probably* should… but she’d taken so much from me. Surely I could steal a single kiss from her boyfriend. Plus, there is no way on Earth that I could ever feel regret for *that*.

Tears began to trail down her face. Okay, slight overreaction. Tracker on my tail? Life-threatening vampire conflict? But yeah, *her* tears are the apocalypse.

Esme took her in her arms, holding her tight. As much as I hate her, it eases my pain a little - she’s still my friend. I don’t want to see her crying.

After a moment, Esme’s phone buzzed. She listened for a moment, then spoke.

“Now.” Rosalie stalked out the door, shooting a smirk at me as she did. I take it she approves.

We all listened silently to the truck’s thunderous start, then fade away.

Alice and Jasper waited by their phone. She grabbed it so quickly that she must have grabbed it before it buzzed.

“Edward says that the woman is on Esme’s trail. I’ll get the car.

Jasper and I waited until the Mercedes came, and then we left Forks behind.

Chapter Text

When I woke up I was confused. My thoughts were hazy, still twisted up in dreams and nightmares; it took me longer than it should have to realize where I was.

This room was too bland to belong anywhere but in a hotel. The bedside lamps, bolted to the tables, were a dead giveaway, as were the long drapes made from the same fabric as the bed spread, and the generic water colour prints on the walls.

I tried to summon the memories of how I got here, but nothing came at first.

I *did* remember the sleek black car, the glass in the windows darker than that on a limousine. The engine was almost silent, though we’d raced across the black freeways at more than twice the legal speed.

Sleep had evaded me; my aching eyes strained open even though the night had finally ended and dawn broke over a low peak somewhere in California. They gray light, streaking across the cloudless sky, stung my eyes. But I still couldn’t close them; when I did, the images that flashed all too vividly, like still slides behind my lids were unbearable. Bella’s broken expression, Edward’s brutal snarl, teeth bared, Rosalie’s overbearing pity, the keen-eyes scrutiny of the tracker, and the worst of all, the passion in Edward’s eyes after he kissed me for the first, and *last* time… I couldn’t stand to seen them. So I fought against weariness and the sun rose higher.

I was still awake when we came through a shallow mountain pass and the sun, behind us now, reflected off the tiled rooftops of the Valley of the Sun. I stared blankly at the wide, flat expanse laid out in front of me. Phoenix - the palm trees, the scrubby creosote, the haphazard lines of the intersecting freeways, the green swathes of golf courses and turquoise splotches of swimming pools, all submerged in a thin smog and embraced by the short, rocky ridges that weren’t really big enough to be called mountains.

I remembered the sight, but nothing more. I suppose that must have been when I’d fallen asleep.

I had no memory of this room.

I looked at the digital clock on the nightstand. The red numbers claimed it was one o’clock, but I had no idea whether it meant morning or evening. Not an edge of light escaped the thick curtained, but the room was bright with the light from the lamps.

I rose stiffly, staggering to the window, pulling back the drapes. It was dark outside. One in the morning then. My room looked out on a deserted section of the freeway, and a large car park. I sighed and dropped the curtains.

The door opened slowly, and I tried to keep my guard up, but the best I could do was keep my eyes open. Jasper waved at me to come over.

“Edward called.” Jasper said once the door was closed.

“He did?” I asked, all exhaustion evaporating.

“Just to remind us that you need to eat more frequently than we do.”

I nodded, slightly disappointed. *(But he remembered me! And cared enough to call!)*

I sat on one of the arms of the sofa, beside Alice, and picked at the food, downing a glass of water to wet my parched throat - to think of it, I hadn’t drunk in the past two days.

It was then that I realized - neither Alice nor Jasper had moved since I’d come in. I pushed a tray of food away, my stomach abruptly uneasy.

“What’s wrong, Alice?” I asked.

“Nothing’s wrong,” she said, her eyes wide and honest… I didn’t believe it.

“What do we do now?”

“We wait for Carlisle to call.”

“And shouldn’t he have by now?” I’d guessed right. Alice’s eyes flickered to the phone, and then back to me.

“What does that mean?” I asked, anxiety a vice around my chest. “That he hasn’t called yet?”

“It just means they have nothing to tell us.” Her voice was monotone, and for some reason, air didn’t want to find its way into my lungs.

“Jacob,” Jasper said. “You have nothing to worry about. You are completely safe here.”

“I know that,” I said, hollowly.

“Then why are you frightened?” He asked.

“You heard what Laurent said. He said James was lethal. What if something goes wrong; and they get separated? If something happens to any of them…” I gulped. “If that wild female hurts Esme or Rosalie or Bella… How could I live with myself when it’s my fault? None of you should be risking yourselves for me-”

“Jacob, stop,” he interrupted. “You’re worrying about all the wrong things, Jacob. Trust me on this - none of us are in jeopardy. You are under too much strain as it is; don’t add to it with wholly unnecessary worries. Listen to me!” he yelled, for the first time, as I looked away. “Our family is strong. But we all fear losing you.”

“But why should you-”

This time, Alice spoke. “We haven’t had anyone new in the family for decades. But since the day that we met, I knew that’s what you would become. Every one of us cares about you. None of us would be able to live with ourselves if something happened to you.”

After that, everyone was quiet for a long time. With no warning, Jasper stood, and put his hands on Alice’s shoulders, guiding her to lie down. Curiously, I followed.

He clasped her hands tightly. “What do you see?” he asked. Her eyes were focused on something very far away.

“I see a room. It’s long, and there are mirrors everywhere. The floor is wooden. He’s in the room, and he’s waiting. There’s gold… a gold stripe across the mirrors.”

“Where is the room?”

“I don’t know. Something is missing - another decision hasn’t been made yet.”

“How much time?”

“It’s soon. He’ll be in the mirror room today, or maybe tomorrow. It all depends. He’s waiting for something. And he’s in the dark now.”

Jasper’s voice was calm, methodical, as her questioned her in a practiced way. “What is he doing?”

“There’s someone else. Tied up.”

“Can you see who it is? Or where he is?”

“No, it’s too dark.”

“And the mirror room, what else is there?”

“Just the mirrors, and the gold, it’s a band around the room. There’s the chair and the rope, but the other person’s not there yet. He isn’t watching the chair the way he does in the dark room. This is the room where he waits.” Her eyes drifted, then focused on Jasper’s face.

“There’s nothing else?”

She shook her head. They looked at each other, motionless.

“What does it mean?” I asked.

After a moment, Jasper answered.

“It means that the tracker’s plans have changed. He’s made a decision that will lead him to the mirror room, and the dark room.”

“What do we know?”

“He won’t be in the mountains north of Washington, being hunted. He’ll elude them.”

“Should we call?”

And then the phone rang. Say his name and he shall appear. Alice was across the room in an instant.

“Carlisle.”

After a short rundown of what had happened on both sides, she passed the phone to me.

“Hi?” Edward asked, sounding positively full of anxiety.

“Hey,” I almost whispered.

He exhaled deeply, then the phone went dead. Okay…

When I turned to return the phone to Alice, I realized she was sketching something. Something familiar.

“It’s a ballet studio,” I figured out aloud.

“Do you know this room?” Jasper asked as Alice started drawing it harder, faster.

“It looks like this picture Bella sent me when we were younger. Of a ballet studio she went to. It was a while ago - we must have been around eight or nine.”

“Are you sure it’s the same room?” Jasper asked.

I was certain now. I’d spent hours looking at that picture. “Yes.”

“Would you have any reason to go there now?” Alice asked.

“Not at all. I’ve never even been there before.”

“Do you know where it was?”

I thought back through the letters from Bella that I’d memorized through the years.

“Fifty-Eighth Street and Cactus. Just around the corner from Bella’s mom’s house.”

We sat in silence. Then I realized. “Have we heard from Rosalie?”

“Not yet.” Fear suddenly settled in my bones.

Chapter Text

So I really hope that you’ve enjoyed my work so far.

I have plenty more projects planned (including 3 sequels for this project) - there’s a lot more to come, so keep your eye on this place.

For the months in which these chapters are coming out, there will be a new chapter every week on Wednesday, however, if you simply cannot wait, please head to my patreon, were you can get early access to every single chapter, immediately after purchasing.

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It will take a while to write the next installment in this series, but I’ve already made brilliant headway, so make sure to follow to get the notification when it comes out! (If you want.)

At the moment, I have little planned, as I just got off school, but when I go back, I’m going to be spending two years working harder than ever before (hopefully), so there won’t be as much progress.

I will be trying to finish as much of the series as I can, but writing three books in six weeks is not exactly a feasible task.

What makes it even more difficult is that I will have to get a part time job, to support me through this next step in education, which will take even more time, but this can be avoided if you wish to join my patreon, as if I mange to earn enough, I won’t have to work outside of this - meaning I will have more time to write.

However, I understand you won’t all have money to pay for patreon, and others wonder about the rewards. Overall, you would be able to get early access to all of my projects, as well as being able to make suggestions for new projects that you want to see in the future. Furthermore, at every milestone, starting with 10 paid members, I will add some *spicy* chapters, that everyone can access!

These chapters have already been written and are available on my patreon already, however, as I said, if we get 10 members, I will release chapter 10.5, Jacob's very *spicy* dream about Edward. Once we get to 15, I will release chapter 19.5, another spicy dream sequence.

On my patreon, there is also most of Book 2 being released, so keep an eye out!

I really hope you’ve enjoyed my work. See you soon xxx