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Chapter Text

“Currently George is behind you and gaining”

Lewis had felt at peace since arriving at the paddock, there was just something about coming to Brazil that felt at home. There was just a presence at being in Brazil that Lewis loved.

“Tell George Im ready to battle”

He smiled underneath his helmet as he heard Bono chuckle in his ear piece and that he would let the other side know. Lewis always thoroughly enjoyed battling George, it was fun between the two teammates. Soon enough, Lewis could see George had pulled up on his left and given a small wave, they were side by side down the straight but soon enough Lewis was pulling away before they would reach the bend.

Taking a quick look to his left to look upon George and his car, Lewis had noticed George was a lot closer to his car than before.

Suddenly he felt the jolt through the car…

—-----

“Bono has said that Lewis is throwing down battle”

“Challenge accepted”

George could only smile wide as he pushed his car forward so that soon he was side by side with Lewis down the straight, looking to his right, he gave a little wave to Lewis and laughed to himself when his team mate had nodded with a thumbs up.

Up ahead George could make out the bend coming up and he had to push more but he found Lewis was already gaining a little ahead of him.

Taking a breath, he pushed down his foot.

Not noticing his car was sliding closer to Lewis’s car.

Gripping the steering wheel hard as he tried to twist it to keep the car steady when he had felt his left back tire lock up, George watched as his front right tire had clipped against Lewis’s back left tire.

The 44 Mercedes car lifting into the air…

The silver and black car bounced into several rolls against the tarmac of the track and onto the grass before hitting the fence.

George had curved around the bend and looked into his mirror.

A sudden engulf of flames bursting, taking away the sight of the mangle car.

“RED FLAG RED FLAG!”

George had been on autopilot when he brought his car back into the pits and it was only when he had caught sight of the panic and chaos going on in Lewis’s side of the garage did he throw out his steering wheel, not caring for the damages as he quickly pulled himself out of the car and flew into the garage, running straight to Bono and Toto who were crowding the screen.

“Lewis! Lewis! Lewis!”

“LEWIS!”

“WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE MARSHELS!”

All he could do was stand and watch as Bono’s and Toto’s cries were met with silence other than the crackling and hissing of the flames. George felt his heart shattered at it and he crumbled onto the floor, watching as there was a small replay of the crash on the screen before Sky had changed it to the different views of the garages.

“Look!”

There on the screen that was playing a live feed of Lewis’s car only broadcasted to the teams. 

The 44 Mercedes car upside down, mangle beyond repair and flames engulfing every part.

But…

A small glimmer of hope.

Lewis’s yellow helmet coming through the flames, the 7x world champion dragging his body onto the gravel away from the burning car.

Before stopping, laying there completely still before being blocked by the marshals and fire team.

—---

Everything hurt…

His mind, soul and body were screaming out in pain.

The searing flames engulfed his body.

Then for a second he felt at peace, no pain, nothing but soft hands pulling him.

“Racing, competing, it's in my blood, it's part of me, it's part of my life. I have been doing it all my life and it stands above everything else”

He looked up to be greeted with warm brown eyes and a soft Brazilian accent.

Laying on the gravel, he noticed different blurs running towards him but he only had eyes for the man in the red race suit walking away, the man had stopped and turned to give him a smile.

“It is not your time yet, Lewis my friend”

And with that the pain crashed down on him and soon Lewis found himself blacking out from it all.

Chapter Text

The radio channels between all the drivers were the same.

Red Flag Red Flag Red Flag

Nothing else had been said to the other 19 drivers, other than George, the rest of the drivers were closer to the pitlane and had started pulling into the pitlane slowly. Each of the drivers got out of their cars and looked down at the pitlane at each other, wondering what had caused the red flag of the race and who was involved. Turning to their own garages and watching the horrified looks across their teams, that could only mean one thing, this was bad.

Fernando had roughly taken off his helmet and looked over to Max who had parked up behind him. Suddenly George was racing past them looking white as a ghost, both watching the Mercedes driver disappear into a small crowd growing in front of one of the Mercedes garages. 

The 44 number large on the sign above.

It was the sound of a helmet being dropped that tore Fernando’s attention away from the garage. 

He turned to look at Valterri who had been the one to drop his helmet, his eyes widening as he watched on the large screen that stood not far from the pitlane. Footsteps behind him came closer and Fernando turned to look at Max who had walked in front of him, staring at the same screen as Valterri, his expression broken.

Looking up at the screen this time, Fernando could only watch as the replay of Lewis and George’s car side by side for one moment before the 44 car took a slight lead then the sudden flip of the car rolling across the track so harshly that Fernando felt his soul leave his body as the car crashed straight into the fence, his body suddenly aching at the reminder of his own crash once a time ago. 

A sudden burst of orange, yellow and red hues springing from somewhere on the car, the  flames engulfed the car out of view, a reminder to those that had been there in Bahrain Grand Prix 2020.

The presence of others standing near him and Max could be felt as he heard the different gasps.

“No no no no”

Fernando turned his head slightly to look at Charles who was shaking his head, the steady flow of tears rolling down his cheeks, PIerre’s arm thrown around his shoulders pulling the Ferrari driver to his chest, the French driver looking just the same but his voice could not be found.

“Where is the help, why isnt anyone there! Lewis…”

Lando’s voice and words had taken Fernando’s vision back to the screen, the young mclaren driver was right, where was the fire marshal putting the fire out, where was anyone trying to put the car out.

Why was no one there to help Lewis…

Who was still in that burning car.

The vile burn rising in his throat at the thought of his old teammate still sat in that car, the flames burning against the racesuit, melting slowly through to the taste of skin, flesh and flame meeting in a chaotic dance.

For one moment, Fernando felt that his body was going to take off down the pitlane and back onto the track, straight towards that burning car when everyone watching the screen noticed the neon yellow coming through the flames followed by the black race suit slowly moving across the floor.

A gasp escaping his lips as everyone watching the screen watched as Lewis Hamilton had dragged himself out of the flame of his own car.

Then suddenly a white sheet was set up blocking up the view of Lewis, marshalls and fire marshalls, medic staff were now on that track. The screen now changed to different reactions within the different garages, Fernando turned around to look at the other drivers when they heard the siren of an ambulance pass by them with their 7x world champion lying in there, condition unknown.

No one said anything, no one had words for what they had just watched.

It wasn't till someone in the FIA uniform had come over to the huddle of drivers, that Fernando had found his voice.

“Race to restart-”

“If you think I'm going to race, knowing Lewis…. No, I don't think so”

With that, Fernando moved across the pitlane into his garage, ignoring everyone who stared at him as he grabbed his bag.

He only had one destination to go to.

The hospital.

Chapter Text

Sebastian had just left the hen house with the empty feed bucket, carefully he latched the lock close and looked down at his happy plump red hens who were pecking away at the feed on the floor. Brushing his hair back and letting out a content sigh, Sebastian thought about what was next on his work list when he heard the backdoor of his house slam open, he looked over to see Hanna, looking pale as a ghost as she scanned the garden before her eyes landed on him.

“Hanna?”

“Its Lewis”

He watched as the tears ran down her face, dropping the bucket he ran over to the house and placed his hands on her arms, looking down at her, unable to speak but trying to convey the message through his eyes.

What about Lewis?

But all Hanna could do was point to the tv inside their living room before bringing her hand up to her mouth where she tried to hold back the sobs however she was failing. Sebastian moved quickly inside the house and stood before the tv watching an F1 car rolling on its sides before landing in the barrier.

The bright 44 stood very clear on the nose of the car that had tumbled into a roll of the tarmac.

Sebastian felt his insides drop, such a nausea feeling was rising in his throat.

As he watched the car burst into flames, no indication of the driver in the car moving to get out.

Lewis was still in that wreck of a car.

Suddenly the screen had cut away to the team garages and Sebastian felt his knees give away as he sunk to the floor, a strangled sob coming out of his mouth.

The images of the faces of the people at that race began to blur as the tears began to build in his eyes, Sebastian could not bring his hands to wipe them away as he clutched his chest, trying to breath but was struggling. His mind was numb with only one word repeating over and over again.

Lewis Lewis Lewis.

Next thing he was pulled up roughly to his feet and was staring into Hanna’s eyes, no words were communicated and she was pulling out of the house before pushing him into the the passage side of the car, she had shut the door and was in the driver’s seat quickly. Sebastian opened his mouth to say something but Hanna had pulled out of the drive quickly and roughly that he had slammed into the door, rubbing his shoulder, he took this time to wipe his eyes and the sudden pain flaring in his shoulder had finally gotten him to exhale the breath he had been holding on.

“Han-”

“Kimi is getting his jet ready, we are going to Brazil”

“No I-”

“Mark called, He got out”

Finally Hanna had turned to him and he could still see the grief stricken sadness in her but there was a fire burning in them as well.  Sebastian was watching a part of his life suddenly come crashing down and Hanna, his beautiful wife was being his rock, holding him up and getting him through this. There was a tiny bit of guilt gnawing at him as Hanna loved Lewis just as much as he did,

The Vettel’s loved Lewis as if he was part of their family.

“How does Mark know?”

Finding his voice to ask.

“Fernando called Mark, he is on the way to the hospital and told him to call you as he knew one of us would of been watching that race”

Chapter Text

Of course he and Nico had been called to work the sky sports this week in Brazil.

Jenson one second was laughing about the fact he and Lewis had use to challenge each other like that on the track after hearing the messages sent between Lewis and George through there engineers, he had turned to Nico who had been shaking his head with a small smile on his face, this pain Jenson a little as things were a little bit different when it came to being teammates with Lewis for both of them.

He had his back turned to the screen when suddenly there was a loud screeching sound, Jenson knew that sound from years of watching others crashing and himself on a track but what stopped him from turning around to look who the unlucky fellow was who had kissed the wall or something was Nico. 

Who had become white as a ghost, tears running down his face, the microphone that had been in his hand now rolling on the floor.

That could only mean one thing.

Only one person could get a reaction out of Nico like that.

Lewis.

Jenson had clocked the cameraman was getting ready to turn towards Nico, ready to film his friend's emotions as if it was ok.

The ex british driver had never moved so quickly in his life, pushing the camera out of the guy's hand ignoring the foul look and sound he had made towards Jenson, he turned to a monitor watching a repeat of Lewis’s flying into a fence and the sudden flames.

It felt like he had been stabbed in the chest.

The chaos that was happening around could not reach his ears, there was only one goal in his mind when they had been told Lewis was in the ambulance now and on his way to the hospital. Grabbing Nico’s hand, he pulled the German out of the building towards the car park looking for where he had parked his car.

“Jenson…”

This had stopped him and Jenson looked back at Nico who was sobbing heavily, the tears running down his face not stopping and the ex british was sure if he looked in the mirror he would probably look the same. He knew what was going through Nico’s head, that they had lost Lewis Hamilton to the sport, that their ex teammate had left them behind. 

He refused to believe that Lewis would let himself be taken away like that.

Jenson knew Lewis would be fighting.

“No”

He found his car and pushed Nico into the passenger seat before climbing into his seat, pushing his foot on the gas and speeding out away from the track towards the hospital. It hadnt taken him long to get there and probably would fine some speeding tickects sent his way but he did not care right now about the law, he and Nico needed to get to Lewis. Roughly he pulled up on the curb as another car had done the exact thing, Jenson was ready to give this other driver a peace of his mind but stopped at the sight of Fernando throwing himself out of the car still in his race suit.

“Jenson!?”

“Fernando!?”

They both heard another car door slam and the two watched as Nico had rushed straight into the hospital, following after the ex Mercedes driver. Jenson had to stop quickly or he would of knocked straight into Nico who had stopped and Fernando who had stepped next to them taking in the sight.

It was chaos, watching nurses rushing around, people were praying and sobbing but it was the small crowded gurney that had been rolled past by them, Nico had stepped forward and picked up something that had fallen off.

A single neon yellow glove that was burnt and covered in blood.

“LEWIS!”

Chapter Text

‘Coming to you now.  During the Sao Paulo Grand Prix, 7x World Champion, Sir Lewis Hamilton was involved in a collision that has left the Mercedes car rolling straight into a fence with the car catching on fire, on site the driver had managed to crawl away out of the car before medical personnel were on scene. Lewis has currently been transported to Sao Paulo Hospital to be treated. At this time, we are unaware of the injuries that Lewis has sustained from the crash’

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

‘Quickly we need to move fast, on three, one, two , three and lift’

Above the Atlantic ocean was a small black jet moving quickly, cutting through the clouds, determined to reach its destination of Brazil. Kimi had left the cockpit of the jet, closing the door behind him. He walked over to the chairs and took one opposite Sebastion who was staring out the window, wringing his hands together. 

His mind racing, the voices in his head screaming at him. 

Nothing was uttered on the plane.

Only silence.

-

Carmen had been preparing two glasses of squash for her grandchildren, she could hear their excitement along with their mother as they watched Lewis flying on the track, she took hold of the two glasses and walked out of the kitchen straight into the living room when she head the gasp of her daughter, pulling both her children to look away from the tv. 

The two glasses that Carmen had been holding up, had fallen from her hands, smashing into pieces on the impact of the ground.

Watching her only son’s car ram into the barrier.

Reaching her phone, she dialled Linda.

‘Carefully, we need to remove this layer of clothing’

BEEP BEEP BEEP

“Do not remove that bit just yet, quickly pass me some gaze now. He’ll bleed out”

‘“George you need to calm down”

“Yeah, you need to take a seat mate”

“NO. I'm the reason he's in hospital. I'm the reason his car rolled into the fence. God its all my fault”

George was pacing up and down the room, both hands in his hair as he tugged at the brown strands, tears streaming down his cheeks as he tried to breath but was struggling. Lando sat down on the sofa turning his phone over in his hands while Alex had gotten to his feet, pulling the Mercedes driver into his chest. George struggled but finally gave in, bawling his eyes out even more.

Alex was ready to lay into Lando for not helping but the McLaren driver's eyes were glazed over as he stared at the same spot on the wall.

-

Anthony stood by the side lines of the track watching Nicolas driving in his car, with his arms over his chest, he moved closer to the fence, pulling his hood over his head to hide from the rain and the stares he was getting. 

He always got these stares due to who his sons were but something was off.

It wasnt until Linda, his wife raced over holding her phone to her chest, tears running down face.

That look could only mean one thing.

Lewis.

Holding his breath, Anthony guided Linda away back to Nicolas’s tent, heading straight to the person who was connected to his son through a headset.

“Call him in now”

“He hasnt finished his lap-”

“CALL HIM IN NOW”

Taking the phone from Linda, who had collapsed into the chair. Anthony could hear Carmen’s panic cries down the phone, his mind racing. 

It wasnt long before Nicolas was in the tent, ready to question why his lap was cut short but the sight of his mother bawling her eyes out and his father stood still on the phone, tears running down his face.

He could feel the clutch on his heart.

Something had happened to his older brother.

“Mum..”

“Ive got a tear here on his right side rib cage, possible fractures”

BEEP BEEP

“His levels are rising, we need to bring them down now, give me 10cc”

Miles swung forward with his foil, taking three steps back before lunging forward again, the tip of the foil hitting directly on the chest of his opponent in this practice session.  The fencer let out a loud roar before tearing his mask off to reveal his grin, he winked at his opponent before turning to his team mates only to find them concentrating on a phone with grief stricken looks.

“Hey, what's going on? Those are some sour faces”

Alexander looked at the others, in their eyes telling him not to reveal what they were currently looking at on the sports news, taking the phone, he walked over to MIles.

He couldnt do that to Miles.

Deserved to know the truth.

“Its Lewis…”

Looking down at the phone, Miles’s foil slipped out of his grasp.

‘Hold him down, he is going into shock!’

BEEP 

‘Flat lining, bring me the paddles now!’

Fernando was pacing up and down, looking at the others in the waiting area with them, a few of them had prayer beads out and muttering to themselves. The Spaniard felt unnerved watching them, never in this sport had he prayed for anything. 

Nico was sat down in a chair, his face hidden in his hands but by the shaking of his shoulders, he was still crying. 

The bloody glove still in his clutch.

Jenson was crouched by Nico, he had tried to console the german but was failing in doing that, hell he was struggling to keep himself up.

“Lewis always prayed before each race”

Both Nico and Fernando looked to Jenson who was looking straight at an old lady who was muttering prays.

All three tried their hardest to ignore the last part of her prayers.

“May Senna be there to guide him to peace, to rid him of this suffering and pain”

Chapter Text

Pain

Incredible amount of pain was what he could feel.

It was like someone had set him a light but surely enough the pain had started to fade and it felt like he was almost floating in a bubble of sorts.

There were so many voices he could hear mumbling around, one moment there were so many as if they were screaming through a wall to sudden silence and suddenly there were new voices followed by the sounds of beeping, for one sure moment he had thought he had heard Nico screaming his name.

He tried so hard to push himself to open his eyes, the feeling of hands on his body and his reaction was to fight them off then suddenly he felt a jolt through his chest as if someone had struck him with a pole.

The feeling of something pooling in his throat was vile, he was suffocating on it. He was sure the sounds of gasping and gargling were from him.

Again he was struck.

Lewis' eyes flew wide open as he sat gasping for air, pressing a hand on his chest to calm his rapid beating heart. Taking a few breaths, Lewis leant back onto his hand only to feel tarmac on his palm, looking down, he had finally noticed that he was on a track. Slowly getting up, Lewis looked around and noticed the barriers and stands.

He was definitely on track.

But what track?

Placing one foot in front of the other, Lewis began walking down the track as he would on a normal Thursday to get a lay out of the track before free practice the next day. This track had a few curvy corners and Lewis tried to rack through his mind on what track this was. He unclipped his collar to let some air in his race suit and soon he was passing through the start line, yet still he couldnt place the track, there was a haze in his mind as if something was blocking him from remembering.

It wasn't until he hit turn 2 that he realised what track he was at. 

The track was carved in so many curves that it almost reminded him of a rattlesnake curving though the sand ready to strike, turn 3 to turn 6. There was only one track like that.

Suzuka.

Why was he on the Suzuka track?

Lewis had been positive that he had been on another track, pressing his hand over his eyes trying to force himself to remember but nothing came, he let out a groan and opened his eyes as he was approaching turn 7, where he could see a recovery vehicle but that was not what had his eyebrows raised in confusion as he got closer.

No it was the fact someone was sitting on top of the recovery vehicle.

“Now if this isnt a surprise, I dont often get visitors at my track like this”

The soft french accent followed by a smile that could light up a room, it reminded Lewis of a certain ferrari monaquese.

That's when it hit him who was walking towards him with arms open and a soft smile.

“Jules..”

“Hello Lewis”

Chapter Text

There were no words Lewis could bring out of his mouth as he was wrapped in the arms of Jules.

Memories flashed through his mind of heavy rainfall throughout the Suzuka track and daylight fading faster than normal, the call that Adrian’s Sauber had spun out of lap 42, the sight of double yellow flags being waved. The call of another accident on lap 43, the wave of a red flag bringing the race to an end, the information of the driver on lap 43 being rushed off by ambulance, a podium with no celebration.

A driver was placed into a coma with the hope of healing.

9 months later.

Jules Bianchi passed away.

Lewis still couldnt believe what was in front of him.

“Come walk with me”

Jules had pulled back from the hug and started leading Lewis further down the track, it was so peaceful at the track compared to when it was race week at the Suzuka track. It wasn't long before they turned off the track and headed up a hill, sitting by a sakura tree.

“How is Charles doing?”

“You would be so incredibly proud of him, Jules so much. He’s always pushing so hard and doing so well, can be a bit chaotic on the track”

Lewis could not help the smile on his face as he explained all the things Charles was doing in his life, both of them laughing together at the idea of Charles in a banana suit. Talking about how Daniel was still his goofy self even during the whole issues with Mclaren, how Fernando was still on the grid terrorising the younger ones, he left out about himself and Nico, the whole of the 2016 saga but Lewis frowned bringing his knees up to his chest, letting out a sigh, he felt Jules put a hand on his shoulder.

“Its bad isnt it Jules”

“Lewis…”

“I can't remember what happened but I hear the scrape of the car on the fence, the feeling of my body on fire though I can not see anything. Seeing you was the big indicator that somethings gone bad”

Lewis looked at his hands.

His gloves were missing and he could see the tattoos on his hands but for a second if he really looked, his left hand flashed from a normal looking hand to seeing the bright neon of his gloves almost as it was moulded to his skin, an intense heat on it.

Taking a deep breath, he looked at Jules with a small smile.

“Though to be honest, I wasnt exactly thinking you would be the one to greet me”

This had brought a chuckle out of Jules who pulled Lewis to his feet and slowly led them back to the sight of turn 7.

“Well I kinda took over to see you, wanted to catch up and see how everyone was. Call me impatient, Ill probably get told off for it espeicailly from those two”

“Jules-”

Lewis stopped when he was brought into a big hug from Jules and did not hesitate to wrap his arms back around the french driver.

“Dont ever stop fighting Lewis”

He watched Jules pull back with a soft smile before pointing to behind him, Lewis looked confused and turned around, his eyes flew open as he could see the phantom car speeding towards them and could not help but bring his arms up to try and protect himself.

The shock went through his whole core.

Looking to Jules as he was thrown across the track, the french driver moved back to the recovery vehicle, waving with a big smile.

“Your journey hasn't ended yet my friend”

For a second Lewis closed his eyes.

Opening them again, Lewis could only groan as he pushed himself up to find that he was no longer at the Suzuka track but another.

Chapter Text

There was no doubt that the track he was currently walking on was a track that was no longer part of the calendar and to be honest would never be part of it again. It had such a sinister history to it, one of few tracks that would be tainted with such blood.

Nurburgring

He knew the history of the Nurburgring, it was etched into his mind.

Though the stories were grim, the company sat down in the armchair with the fire roaring  behind them with the austrian tone that made it worth remembering it all.

Lewis stopped walking for a second, taking a look around him. The deserted track with its overgrown forests surrounding either side of the track with the graffiti laid out on the floor were no longer there but trimmed back trees, with small wooden fences lining the track on either side and tarmac looking freshly bright. This was the Nurburgring of the past but whose past, there were so many stories running through his mind and the gentle laughter.

How he missed his dear friend so much.

Suddenly there was an intense searing pain running on the left side of his body, Lewis hunched over clutched his right hand over his left, squeezing his eyes shut. There were voices, sharp and loud running in his mind, they were making his ears hurt then suddenly he felt a large gush of wind move right behind him followed by a large crashing noise. Opening his eyes in panic, Lewis looked up and could not see anything that would of made that noise so he moved closer to the wooden fence and soon enough the faint appearance of a car turned over laying in the ditch, a very red car.

This car seemed to scream Ferrari at him and he did not know why.

Just as he ducked underneath the wooden fence to take a closer look at the car, he heard a voice from the trees not far from him.

“Why Hello there”

Looking at the trunk of the tree, he saw no one there and this confused Lewis as he twisted to look around for the voice he was sure he had heard.

“Up here my friend”

Lewis looked up and fair enough there was a man sitting on a branch within the tree, he raised an eyebrow at the man who was slowly climbing down the trees and soon enough was walking towards him with a friendly smile.

“Normally its Thorny on the visit around my part of the track but I always welcome another winner of the British Grand Prix and definitely one who has won it 9 times”

Watching the man remove the leather worn helmut before tucking it underneath his arm then sweeping his hand through his hair then sticking it out for a handshake.

“Peter Collins”

Chapter Text

“You know these kind of things tend to fix bridges that have been burnt by both ends”

Lewis looked at Peter with a raised eyebrow, the pair had moved away from the crash site of Peter and moved further down the track when they had found a bank overlooking a field in the background. At first they had sat in silence because Lewis did not know what to say to this driver, he had only heard a few stories from Niki and Sebastian about Peter and a lot of them involved Mike. The history of Ferrari had never been his thing, more of Sebastian’s but he never let the German know he liked hearing their tale of being teammates, their friendships that had bled into their racing.

At the beginning being teammates at Mercedes had been like that with Nico, so vibrant and full of love however something had changed, they fell out of sync, rather than love as teammates there was hate so bitter and foul.

Their story came to be more like Gilles Villeneuve and Didier Pironi.

“Yeah I dont think so, Nico is not the emotional type”

“The scar on your hip begs differently, if Im not mistaken he threw his chance at winning that karting race, running to your side the moment he saw your kart flip over the barrier”

Lewis’s hand flew to his hip to cover the scar as if Peter coud see it and all the history, he could hear in the back of his mind the frantic call of a young Nico.

“Lewis, Lewis. Oh god please be ok please dont leave me”

“You dont think he would care at all, even now?”

He looked down at his shoes, Lewis didnt think anyone would really care if he had crashed, maybe his family would but the other drivers would of continue driving as if it was nothing had happened. Suddenly he felt hands on his head, looking up shocked, he looked into the concerned eyes of Peter who was frowning.

“My friend they care for you more than you think, especially Nico”

Suddenly there was a bright white flash in front of him and the searing pain he had felt earlier returned ten times. Lewis was sure he was screaming but finally an image was piecing together in front of his eyes. It was a hospital, he was sure of it because of the sterile smell that was drifting into his nose and there were lots of people moving around, at first they were blobs but soon they came into focus. There was commotion in the hallway of a hospital, there was security trying to block a trio from emerging further down the hallway, he could see the operation sign lit up, more doctors running into the room. He focused as hard as he could on the trio who were shouting and soon it was two of them trying to pull back the third person who was screaming.

“Youve got to stop, this is not helping”

That was Fernando in his race suit, he looked pale as a ghost but angry at the same time.

“We need to let them do there jobs”

Jenson with tears running down his face, his pink shirt smeared with what looked like remants of blood.

But it was not them that had taken the breath from his lungs.

Nico trying his hardest to pull away from Jenson and Fernando, pushing against the secrutiy clutching hard to his chest was the bloody glove that had bits of neon peeking through the red.

“LEWIS! LEWIS!”

The raw pain he could feel in Nico’s voice had him pulling back and falling onto his back. He opened his eyes to see a blue sky above him then suddenly Peter looking down at him with a worried look.

“They… there…I…”

“Lewis breath, breath with me, breath Lewis”

Lewis felt himself being pulled up into a sitting position, he could feel his breath coming out in harsh and quick, there was tears running down his face, he was sure that it was Peter’s hands on his shoulders but all he could picture was Nico’s face, the pain and grief emotions flowing from him and this caused more sobs to come out of him, clutching his hands over his head.

“Lewis-”

“Mate what have you done!”

“Ive done nothing, I showed him that they care especially Nico”

“Mate, they are going to kill you when-”

“They wont if you help me now”

“Just dont get pissy at me for this”

Suddenly Lewis felt something collide with his chest, there was the muffle sound of Peter shouting as Lewis gasped for air, he and the second body rolling down the bank into the field. All the pain and grief he had felt had disappeared and he felt his breathing steady to a calm flow though he had to spit out a clump of grass that he managed to find its way into his mouth, he looked up at the top of the bank to see a concerned Peter making his way down so he turned to the person sat next to him.

“He is going to rip me a new one but it worked right”

Lewis couldnt help but chuckle a little.

“Mike right?”

“Yup, the one and only Mike Hawthorn”

Chapter Text

Being tackled by one Mike Hawethorn was not something Lewis ever had on his list of things happening.

Hell there were many things happening that he had never expected to happen.

Going on this almost spiritual adventure meeting other drivers that this sport they loved had taken away in such brutal ways. The race craft always carved their bodies left and right on the track, requiring their blood in some sacrifice way. 

Lewis had a fair few crashes, sure he spun out a few times and hit the barriers.

But he had never had such a bad crash like this before.

Definitely not in a place he called his second home.

Sao Paulo.

“I was racing in Sao Paulo…”

This had stopped the arguing between the two Ferrari drivers who had now turned to look at him but Lewis was looking down at his hands, flexing his fingers then over turning his hands to look at his palms, for one second his left hand there was such an intense pain and he could see his neon glove with his burnt skin molding as one. A small breeze passed behind him but there was an echoing in his ears, the static buzzing as if he was wearing his ear pieces underneath his helmet, connecting him to his team.

‘Lewis! Lewis! Lewis!’

‘LEWIS!’

“The team… I was racing”

The visions of the sky and the ground blurring as one before the bright red and orange colours engulfed him.

 “With George but the cars touched… guess it was me who drew the short straw”

A small chuckle left his lips and Lewis threw himself on his back, reaching his hand out towards the sky. The warm summer breeze felt good against his hand and watching the small white fluffy clouds roll by reminded him of the memory of watching the sky with Nico by his side on some grass hill in Italy right after a karting event, for one moment he could hear the german laughing about something but it was replaced with the sounds of flames rising below him so Lewis pushed himself up to look at Peter and Mike who looked confused at the sound, they had looked at each other before looking around before landing their eyes on Lewis.

“Guess my time with you guys is up”

“Wai-”

Mike had taken a step forward towards Lewis with his hand reaching out but suddenly Lewis was engulfed by a large blazing flame.

“LEWIS!”

Last thing Mike and Peter saw was the small smile on Lewis before he was gone.

The spot now empty, the flames having done nothing to the grass. Mike turned to look at Peter who was shocked, he placed a hand on his friend's shoulder and Peter leaned into his touch but before Mike could say anything to cheer his friend up there was a voice above them on the bank.

“Would you two like to explain why Ive arrived and he isnt here now”

Both the Ferrari boys pulled long faces as they turned around to look up the bank towards the figure who looked down at them with his arms crossed over his chest and not a very impressed look, it wasnt long till the figure slowly made its way down the bank towards them.

“Hey we did nothing wrong”

“Mike shhh”

“But its true Peter-”

“Quiet the pair of you. Ive already dealt that Jules took up some time with him and now the pair of you”

Peter and Mike both watched as the figure crouched down and held his hand over the spot where Lewis had been before the flame had engulfed him then standing up with a heavy sigh leaving his lips.

The question was where had Lewis gone?

Chapter Text

Taking a small breath in, Fernando rubbed both hands over his face before turning to look at the darkening Brazilian sky, the smell of rain on the horizon and deep in his bones, the Spaniard knew it would be a reckoning storm that would be rolling in with those dark clouds. Hopefully not a sign for things to come, they had been moved out of the corridor by security as they were disturbing everyone within the sector and now they were standing outside in a small courtyard within the hospital. Nico was sat down at one of the tables, his head in his hands as his shoulders were shaking and that damn bloody glove still in his grip while Jenson was standing by a vending machine, getting some shit coffee for them. 

Fernando bite down on his lip, trying hard to focus on the pain and rather the echoing voice in his mind.

‘Código vermelho, ele está em flatlining, código vermelho’

The idea of a world without…

Ready to smack his cheek to stop these darkening thoughts, Fernando raised his hand up and clenched it into a fist and was ready to bring it to his cheek but stopped when he heard someone call his name, the spaniard turned to look over his shoulder and let out a shaky sigh when he saw Mark striding over to him, all he could do was throw himself into the ex red bull driver, refusing to let anyone see the tears that began rolling down his face, Fernando felt Mark wrap his arms around him.

“I got you, I got you”

“Mark… did..”

Mark pulled away a little to show Fernando, the three others that were making their way into the courtyard. The Spaniard wiped his face with his hand and watched as Kimi walked over to Jenson while Sebastian had moved over to Nico and Hanna had stopped next to Fernado and Mark. The three of them watched as Nico had raised his head from his hands and looked at Sebastian who had taken a seat next to him, no words were spoken between the two germans then suddenly Nico was wrapping his arms around Sebastian, sobbing into his arms and by the way Sebastian had buried his head into Nico’s shoulder, they could presume he was crying too.

“How is he?”

Fernando looked to Hanna who was still looking at her husband, taking a deep breath in and grabbing Mark’s hand to ground himself.

“He is in operation, we had to be moved, making a scene as they called it”

When he did not say anymore, Hanna had moved over to Sebastian and Nico who had finished their hug and soon Kimi and Jenson joined them with several cups of coffee, Fernando was about to walk over to them when he felt Mark’s hand pull him back a little, the Spaniard looked at him.

“There was something you didn't tell her, something you clearly know and the others dont”

He pulled his hand away from Mark and looked at the small group gathered at the table then in a low tone.

“The scene was Nico trying to get in because more staff were rushing into the room… they were calling code red…”

“Code-”

“He was flatlining Mark”

Mark watched as Fernando had turned away from the group and walked down the corridor that led to the front of the hospital, he knew better to go and follow the Spaniard, knowing Fernando needed some space for a moment. The knowledge they both were now carrying, was like a heavy stone sat in his stomach, Mark knew if he said anything to the others, it would crush Nico, Sebastian and Hanna.

======

Lewis flexed his fingers and could feel the steering wheel underneath his grip, the roar of the engine in his ears, for a second he felt at peace and could not help but smile then he let out a small breath before suddenly he was engulfed in such heat for a second. The sound of his engine had turned to the sound of fire hissing and there was such an awful stench drifting into his nose, he wanted to move but there was something holding him back. For a moment he wondered if this was what Roman had felt like when the ex Haas driver had run straight through the barrier on the Bahrain track.

The second was over and Lewis felt nothing so slowly he opened his eyes and found himself standing in front of a cafe.

“Im telling you now Val, I hate coffee there will be no changing that”

“You will be eating your words Lewis by the end of it”

Lewis turned to look at where he could hear the voices and was greeted by himself wrapped up in so many layers, hands tucked into the puff coat while Valterri stood next to him laughing in his light blue jacket.

He remembered this.

It was 2018, they had been in Finland for something he couldn't remember but he could remember being taken out to this small town cafe by Valterri.  The Finn had done everything to change his mind about coffee, telling Lewis this was the best place for coffee anywhere. He remembered tasting so many coffees that day and for that night they had been sitting outside underneath the stars talking about everything and nothing at the same time, unable to sleep due to all the coffee he had drunk.

It was one of the best memories he had with Valterri and he still today never let him know that the roasted honey flavoured coffee had been his favourite.

Taking a step forward, Lewis reached the hand of the door and pulled it open and stepped through to be greeted with a whole new scene and not the cafe.

Chapter Text

For a second he was blinded by such a bright light, lifting his hand to shield him from the intensity of it, then slowly he opened his coal eyes to another memory.

Of course things were going to go absolute shit, everyone back then had told them from Keke, his dad, their trainers, other drivers etc. That one day becoming teammates in F1 would not be the fireworks they imagined. But he and Nico had just laughed everyone off, they would be different, they would make it work. Together they could accomplish their dreams of being Champions together, under the same team.

Lewis pulled down his cap lower over his face and he sat in a booth hidden out of sight but he could pretty much see most of the bar from where he was sat. He beer was left untouched on the table as he watched a group of guys laughing with one another, clearly trading stories about their day with one another. For a brief moment he was jealous and it made him think of the others on the grid, yeah sure they were all friendly with each other but nothing close that would prompt hanging outside of the track. 

Well just him really.

It was always with Nico but with this year pulling them apart, in turn he realised that he had no one else.

Sebastian hung out with Kimi nowadays, Jenson was spending more time with Nico, the Red bull teams were some weird foursome group that went every together.

Deep in his thought he had not noticed someone walking up to him, it wasn't till there was a shot of tequila being slammed in front of him that woke Lewis from his thoughts, he looked down at the shot and his eyes travelled up the arm to find Fernando.

So much for staying hidden at a local bar than a tourist infested bar.

“Im not-”

“ Rosberg did was shit, low even for me”

“Like you didnt do anything dirty when we were team-”

“Once but that was it, I knew things about you that I could of done but choose not too”

Lewis did not know how to answer back to that and he was waiting for a moment where Fernando would say he was joking and leave but the Spanaird did not, he still had a serious look on his face. It was true during their teammate year, Lewis the ever so bright eyed rookie at the beginning had told Fernando some home close truths as did Fernando. For a moment, they were more than teammates, two souls who knew pain and torture of coming into this world, nothing like the others.

“They said that in this world you couldnt have friends, I wanted to prove that wrong but it just felt like nothing I could do was right. Nico was the one person that hadnt changed… however now its like there is no-”

“Here am I not”

“Fern-”

“Rosberg needs to understand, yes you have three but you not going to roll over and be easy. He bring the fight yes but the right way. Screw Jenson and Sutil. I here, the phrase Mark tell me, I be in corner”

“In my corner”

“Si, now we drink”

A real smile gracing his lips for the first time in such a while, Lewis threw back the shot of tequila. Laughing as the shot glasses between him and Fernando began to grow and soon enough they were both up on the small stage doing a bad impression of karaoke but Lewis did not care, smiling as he looked at Fernando who was wagging his eyebrows at him.

He had someone in his corner no matter what.

Lewis let out a wet laughter, remembering the state they both had found themselves in the morning on some random guy's living room sofa. It had made that year a little bit easier, knowing Fernando had his back.

Suddenly he was being pushed into a door and once through, he stumbled a little trying to catch his balance but had landed on his knees then quickly a small remote controlled car whizzed right past where his hands had been a second ago.

“You getting slow old man”

“Hey dont you be calling me old”

Lewis twisted his controller and watched as his remote controlled car flew past Esteban’s car then could not help himself by turning around to face the Frenchman, wagging his eyebrows then winking which had caused Esteban to splutter a second, trying to come up with some sort of response but all he did was send his poor car straight into a bush.

“Fuck”

Stopping his car, Lewis quickly took off to the bush where he had seen Esteban’s car go into and he crouched down pushing back the branches till he spotted the car and reaching in with his left hand while trying to keep his balance but was not successful and suddenly he felt himself fall forward and next thing he knew he was sliding down a small ditch, now covered in mud.

“LEWIS!”

Groaning as he sat up, Lewis turned to look at the bush he had just fallen through when he could hear loud footsteps and realising what was about to happen but before he could get any words to warn his friend, he watched as Esteban flew through the bush and was for a moment floating in the air with a look that said i did not know there was nothing behind that bush and soon enough he tumbled down the ditch as he did however more coated in mud than Lewis was.

Lewis and Esteban looked at each other then just started laughing before it turned into them flinging small clumps of mud at each then wrestling each other to the ground. 

“I needed this”

Both of them were currently lying down in the mud and somehow Lewis was using Esteban’s arm as a pillow because the Frenchman wanted to star fish out in the mud, he was going to push himself up to look at Esteban to ask more on what he meant by that but the man in questions brought his free hand and held it on Lewis’s hip softly.

“Stay..please”

He could remember this day and the memory still pulled at his heart strings, Lewis took a step forward but was being dragged down through the mud, the last thing he could hear were the soft sobs of Esteban and his own words of comfort. It didnt take long for the mud to turn into water, Lewis pushed against the small currents that were dragging him down and soon enough he broke free of the surface and found himself crawling up some sandy beach, Lewis threw himself back to look up the sky and slowly watched as clouds rolled in quickly and felt the small drops of rain.

“Dont walk away from me Lewis, get back here now”

He just kept walking down the beach, ignoring the calls behind him as he needed to get away. Lewis for a moment could only see red and he was trying so hard to hold back the fury that wanted to be unleashed. There were words that he could never take back if it was all unleashed and Lewis never wanted to be someone like that, he already had regrets in his life with other people but never not once had he any regrets to do with Sebastian.

Letting out a breath, he found something latching onto his wrist and Lewis soon found himself facing Sebastian who looked worried.

Of course the German was worried, Lewis had gone to the bathroom but left the bathroom not long after, walking straight past their table and out of the door ignoring Sebastian’s calls, taking himself away from the small cafe and further down the beach.

Jenson’s message with an instagram video attached to it.

Did you know about this!?

“Lewis talk to me”

“Talk to you!?”

“Yes what-”

“Were you ever gonna let me know or was I gonna find out like the rest of the world”

Sebastian looked confused just a second till he realised what Lewis was talking about. At this point Lewis had ripped his wrist out of Sebastian’s grip and brought his hand to rub his eyes. There was no way he was going to start crying in front of Sebastian and at the fact his friend was going to retire and had not told him in person nor had asked for his opinion on it all. Lewis knew that the German still had it in him to race, that he was just going through a small phase, nothing major like everyone was saying, Sebastian was not finished.

Lewis could only watch as Sebastian had tackled the memory version of him to the floor. At some point he had stood up and moved over to the rocks where he sank down to watch the scene. He remembered this day and for some reason Sebastian liked to bring it up a lot which he would deny some of the events that had happened that day at the beach, the small blush across his cheeks would always be picked up by Hanna who always thought this story was sweet and Sebastian would always try to sit on his lap stating they were always forever entwined together by the stars. 

 Suddenly a strong gush was pulling him away from the scene and smacked straight into the rocks, his vision blackening and then there were a few flashes.

“Lewis I need cover, Charles is flopping so badly”

“Hey I am not, mister I cant get to the top floor of the building without setting of an grenade”

“I did not-”

“So did”

Lewis could not help the laughter spilling from his lips as he listened to the two arguing while he set his guy up by a window, taking out three guys with gun.

Lewis was smiling as he walked down the field, watching as Roscoe was following after Pinon who stopped for the bulldog to catch up before taking off again. He turned to Carlos who was waving his hands around, deep in explanation about something.

Lewis watching Oscar shake his head at Jenson and Lando being absolute goofs down the paddock.

Lewis in the background watching Daniel open up his first pop up shop for Enchante, giving a thumbs up to the Aussie.

Lewis swinging Jack around the garden while he could hear Toto talking to Susie as they laid out the table set up for the evening bbq.

There were so many memories flashing past Lewis, that with a deep furious yell, he ripped himself forward breaking away from all the memories of those he cared for and soon he found himself standing on yet another race track but he didnt care where he was or what past driver might pop out to say hello or give him some sort of lesson about not giving up. His breaths coming out fast, Lewis leaned forward, his hands resting on his knees as the tears began to roll down his face, fast and heavy.

Suddenly he stood up straight and threw his hand to the side.

“ENOUGH!”

Clenching his fists and taking a small breath in, he looked up to the skies.

“If your showing me all these memories then just take me already, I am done, I have had enough, no more… please”

The last part coming out as a whisper.

“Never thought I would see the day Lewis would be giving up so easily without a fight”

Lewis turned around so quickly at hearing the austrian tone from behind him and there was no way he was going to stop his legs from moving. Letting a soft sob come out of his lips, Lewis threw his body into the other person, wrapping his arms around and soon he melted when he felt two arms pull him tight into an embrace. 

“Niki…”

“Hey my boy, its been some time”

All he could do was bury his head into Niki’s shoulder laughing and crying at the same time while the Austrian stroked his back gently, whispering comforting words.