Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter One

To Save The City

Deep Sea Metro-Central Station

An female Octoling with tan skin, orange eyes, and magenta tentacles on her head that seemed to simulate short hair wearing a sleek black tank top that exposed her midriff, a yellow bracelet, a black skirt with tight black shorts underneath, a black band on her left leg, and black heeled boots, emerged from the train. This was Agent 8, the newest recruit and first Octoling member of the New Squidbeak Splatoon… whatever that was…

Truth be told, Agent 8 didn't really remember much about… well, anything, be it about herself or the world around her before she was woken up by Cap'n Cuttlefish shouting at her. According to the captain, Agent 8 had been fighting Cuttlefish's protège and right-hand Inkling, Trey aka Agent 3, when the three of them were attacked by an unknown assailant. However, it seemed that the initial fight that led to their current situation had been the result of a misunderstanding, as while Agent 8 had been unconscious, she had been humming something called the Calamari Inkantation, a heavenly melody sung by Cuttlefish's granddaughters, the pop stars Callie and Marie aka the Squid Sisters two years ago.

Agreeing to work together, at least for the time being, Agent 8 and Cap'n Cuttlefish soon discovered that Trey was nowhere to be found, and, according to a very weird telephone and a strange creature called C.Q. Cumber, that they were in the Deep Sea Metro, an underground testing facility run by the Kamabo Corporation, and that the only way that Agent 8 and Cuttlefish could get back to the surface, or the "promised land" as the phone and C.Q. Cumber called it, was if Agent 8 were to complete each of the tests and collect the four "thangs."

As Agent 8 completed each of the tests, she and Cuttlefish were contacted by a pair of rappers called "Off the Hook," which consisted of an Inkling named Pearl and an… oddly familiar Octoling by the name of Marina, who as it turned out, was a member of the design team for an Octarian weapon called the Flooder and was assigned to the personal wasabi supply unit of the Octarian King himself, DJ Octavio, but had defected from the Octarian Army after hearing the Calamari Inkantation. In truth, hearing Marina's backstory made Agent 8 wonder if perhaps she and Marina shared a similar past.

Speaking of the Octarians, while she had been clearing the tests, Agent 8 had come under attack by her fellow Octarians, and even a couple of Octobosses, but… there was something about these Octarians that rubbed Agent 8 the wrong way, although it was patently obvious what exactly that was. The Octarians that had attacked Agent 8 almost kinda looked and even acted like zombies, if their green and blue colorations were any indication, plus there was the fact that Off the Hook wasn't picking up any vitals from these strange Octarians, plus there was a very peculiar smell lingering about them…

In the end, however, Agent 8 had managed to collect the four "thangs" and now stood alongside Cap'n Cuttlefish before the strange telephone the two of them had met at the start of Agent 8's journey.

"Are you ready to visit the promised land?" the telephone asked Agent 8 and Cuttlefish.

"Yes. Let's go!" Agent 8 replied, firm determination in her voice.

"This is it. Are you (ERROR) ready to ascend to the higher plane?" the telephone asked.

"Oh, for sure! I've been dyin' to get out of this subway for ages!" said Cap'n Cuttlefish.

"The promised land awaits!" the telephone declared before its tone suddenly became more serious-sounding. "Are you ready to join something bigger than yourself?"

Agent 8 and Cuttlefish looked at each other for a moment, slightly put off by the telephone's sudden shift in tone. "Uhh… I guess?" said Agent 8 as she looked back at the telephone.

"Congratulations, number 10,008!" bellowed the telephone as energy started swirling around it. "The door to the promised land will now open!"

On that note, the telephone's back panel blew off as the energy began crackling in earnest as the four "thangs" were lifted up off the ground and assembled, with one of the "thangs" swooping down and picking up the telephone before placing itself atop the construct assembled by the other three "thangs," before a door on the bottommost "thang" slid open.

"Please, step right inside! Here we go! Do not be shy!" the telephone said invitingly.

Cap'n Cuttlefish let out a cheer. "Home sweet home, here we come!" he cheered.

"Yeah… surface world, here we come…" Agent 8 said, a hint of worry in her voice as she looked away.

Cuttlefish put a comforting hand on Agent 8's shoulder. "Like I told ya, before Agent 8, you're part of the New Squidbeak Splatoon now! And the Splatoon takes care of its own, so ya'll don't need to worry about what comes next when we get to the surface!" he said.

Agent 8 smiled. "Thanks, captain," she said before she and Cuttlefish walked into the construct created by the four "thangs."

"W-wait a second, you two!" came Marina's voice from Cuttlefish's walkie-talkie as the captain and Agent 8 were lifted into the inside of the construct. "Is it just me, or… uh… does that kinda look exactly like a blender?"

"WHOA WHOA WHOA, YEAH, HOLD UP! THIS JUST GOT SERIOUSLY SKETCHY!" cried Pearl from the walkie-talkie.

"Ingredient acquisition complete!" said the telephone. "Commencing matter reformatting!"

"Hey! What did that thing say?!" cried Cuttlefish before he started whacking at the walls of the giant blender with his cane/Bamboozler. "Let us outta here, ya crazy phone!"

Agent 8, meanwhile, began beating the walls with her bare fists."Let us outta here! Getting turned into a smoothie wasn't in the contract!" she yelled.

"You be (SLANG NOT FOUND) Number 10,008!" the telephone said. "You never (ERROR) no stinkin' contract! Besides, I thought you and your friend wanted to (ERROR) the promised land!"

"MARINA! THEY'RE GONNA GET SMOOTHIED! YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING!" bellowed Pearl's voice from the walkie-talkie.

"I'm trying, but… none of my hacks are getting through! I can't get in!" cried Marina. "I'm gonna activate the distress signal on Agent 8's CQ-80! Cross your fingers!"

No sooner had the words left Marina's mouth than a crashing sound came from above the blender, and through the newly made gaping hole in the ceiling came a male Inkling wearing green and black shoes, green and black shorts, what appeared to be a safety vest with a black hoodie underneath, and a black cape draped around his shoulders, smashing into the giant blender, destroying it, freeing Cuttlefish and Agent 8, and heavily damaging the telephone.

Pulling themselves up off the ground, Cuttlefish and Agent 8 couldn't stop shaking. "Holy Mackerel! We made it?!" Cuttlefish said in shock.

"BOOYAH! Man, that was way too close!" said Pearl from the walkie-talkie.

"Sweet! The distress signal worked!" cheered Marina.

Cuttlefish then got a good look at who it was that had saved him and Agent 8. "Agent 3?! Is that really you, son?! Where've you been?!" asked Cap'n Cuttlefish.

Agent 3, meanwhile, was in no fit state to respond, mainly due to the fact that he was apparent unconscious. Agent 8, meanwhile, stared at Agent 3 with curiosity. She knew that before she, Cap'n Cuttlefish, and Agent 3 were attacked by what she assumed was someone from the Kamabo Company, she had been fighting Agent 3 after being mistakenly assumed to be a hostile Octoling, but there was something more beyond that… why did it feel like she'd seen Agent 3 somewhere before? And why did it feel like where she'd seen Agent 3 before was tied to something very important?

The longer that Agent 8 gazed upon Agent 3's crumpled form, the more that familiar song, the Calamari Inkantation, rang in her ears…

Agent 8 was yanked out of her thoughts when Marina's voice came in on the walkie-talkie. "No way! This is who you've been looking for?!" she cried in shock.

"You know that guy, Marina?" Pearl asked.

"Yeah! Remember two years back, when the Great Zapfish went missing the first time? This Agent 3 guy was the one who saved it! I remember, he was fighting his Majesty-I mean, DJ Octavio, while the Squid Sisters performed the Calamari Inkantation!" explained Marina.

Ah, that might explain this feeling I have about Agent 3… thought Agent 8 as she continued to look at Agent 3 thoughtfully.

Cap'n Cuttlefish frowned before talking into the walkie-talkie. "Hold up, 'the first time?' You mean the Great Zapfish got stolen again?!" he said.

"Yeah, along with Inkopolis Plaza! But, they're both back now, so don't worry," said Pearl.

"Getting back to the issue at hand, is Agent 3 okay?" asked Marina.

Cuttlefish made his way over to the downed Agent 3 and checked him over. "Ah, fish sticks! This ain't good, Agent 3 is out cold!" he said into the walkie-talkie before he caught sight of the blue object lying on the ground next to his protege. "Hey, what's that?"

"Oh, wow… I think that might be an employee-model CQ-80!" said Marina.

"Whoa!" said Pearl. "What's Agent 3 doing with that?"

"Never mind that, just gimme a second here… I'll see if I can access it…" said Marina. After a few moments, Marina's voice came back on. "Jackpot! I think I've just found the blueprints for the entire Kamabo Company's testing facility! Agent 8! Cap'n Cuttlefish! I think we can use these to get you guys outta there!"

Cuttlefish laughed. "Are you squiddin' me?! I knew you'd come through for us, Trey!" he cheered.

"All right! So, what's our next move?" asked Agent 8.

"For starters, it looks like you'll want to head up through that hole in the ceiling that Agent 3 made," said Marina.

"Roger," said Agent 8 before turning to Cap'n Cuttlefish. "You coming?"

Cuttlefish shook his head. "I should wait here until Agent 3 wakes up. No squids left behind!" he said.

Agent 8 nodded. "All right, I'll see you guys soon!" she said before she shifted into her octopus form and launched herself through the hole in the roof.

Belly Phase-A While Later…

"Nasty, Nasty, Don't you try to cross me, Nasty, get nasty! Made me doubt you're fun! Get that Shiny crown, Guess it's made for you, huh?! Soak in the aches and pains, rise up to the top! Ending the reign of pain! Nasty, get nasty, you were never fun! Take it all, what have they got to HIDE?"

Agent 8 wasn't entirely sure why her CQ-80 was playing music, or why it sounded like it was Pearl and Marina, but mostly Pearl, singing, but she couldn't deny that this song, apparently called "Nasty Majesty," was making her feel like a certifiable badass.

It had been nothing short of a miracle that Agent 8 had made it through the Coccyx Phase, what with her hearts pounding a mile a minute as she snuck past the strange Octarians, only getting detected close to the end, forcing her to run and swim with everything she had towards the launchpad that sent her to what was apparently called the Villi Phase, where she was able to pick up Splat Bombs and an Octo Shot, the projectile weapon of choice for DJ Octavio's Octoling Troopers, allowing her to fight her way here to the Belly Phase.

When Agent 8 rounded the corner, however, she bore witness to… a horrifying sight.

Rows upon rows of her Octarian brethren, with that same green and blue coloration as those strange ones hooked up to IVs that seemed to introduce a liquid that seemed similar to the ink that they launched from their weapons into their bloodstream. They were all encased in glass cases that were being dropped into a clean liquid that looked like water, but it seemed to have a weird consistency and a very strong and unusual smell.

"Marina? Are you seeing this?" Agent 8 asked her fellow Octoling.

"Yeah… what are they DOING to those Octarians?" said Marina.

"Find out, and then point me in the direction I need to go in order to shut it down permanently," said Agent 8, a firm seriousness in her voice.

"All right, let me see what I can pull up here…" said Marina. After a few moments, Agent 8 heard Marina give a gasp of horror. "Oh… oh Cod… this is terrible… how could the Kamabo Company do this?!"

"What'd you find out?" asked Agent 8.

"Well, I wasn't able to get much, but… apparently someone called Commander Tartar created a process called 'Sanitization.' Basically, what it amounts to is that the Kamabo Company kidnaps Octarians and subjects them to what I can honestly say is the most unethical and horrifying medical procedure I've ever seen, all to effectively zombify them and make them more compliant. That liquid those poor souls are being dropped into is the final stage of the procedure," explained Marina. 

"Looks like they favor Octarians over Inklings because Inklings have much stronger wills than Octarians due to living in an environment free of oppression, whereas Octarians who weren't exposed to the Calamari Inkantation like we were are more easily made compliant because of the oppression of living under his Majesty-I mean, DJ Octavio's, rule," continued Marina.

"That explains why those Octarians I encountered back during those tests while I was trying to assemble that blender attacked me on sight, and why they didn't have any life sign readings. Zombies aren't truly alive after all," said Agent 8. "Where do I need to go in order to shut this down permanently?"

Marina sighed. "Looks like you'll need to find the facility's energy core and disconnect it. That should stop the Sanitization process," she said. "Then, you'll need to reinstall it at the elevator that leads to the surface."

Agent 8 said nothing and immediately got to work, inking and splatbombing her way through the Belly Phase and into the Intestinal Phase…

Back With Cap'n Cuttlefish and Agent 3…

Cap'n Cuttlefish checked on Agent 3 again, only to find that his protege was still out for the count. Admittedly, waiting for Agent 3 to wake up was a bit more nerve-wracking than he had thought before sending Agent 8 ahead. While he could confirm that Agent 3 was okay, he still couldn't help but feel worried about him, much like a parent would worry about their child. Speaking of children, Cap'n Cuttlefish couldn't help but worry about his grandkids, Callie and Marie.

He knew that Callie and Marie's careers had started to lead them down seperate paths, but he still hoped that the sisterly bond they had remained intact. If what Pearl said about the Great Zapfish and even Inkopolis Plaza getting squidnapped before returning shortly thereafter was anything to go by, they had at least carried on the New Squidbeak Splatoon in his absence, and had possibly recruited an Agent 4. If that was the case, then Cap'n Cuttlefish looked forward to meeting them.

Cuttlefish was pulled out of his musings by what sounded like noises coming from the broken telephone, before, much to the captain's shock, the front of the phone broke open and what looked like some kind of sludge leapt from it and latched itself onto Agent 3's head, taking a few parts of the phone with it.

Suddenly, Agent 3 rose up from the ground and turned to face Cap'n Cuttlefish, an unexplained rage in his eyes, the right one of which, the one that had the telephone parts and the strange sludge attached to it, was now black and turquoise, while the other eye simply turned turquoise while the skin on that side turned a familiar sickly green and his tentacle-cut on that side turned the sickly blue and yellow of what was now known as the Sanitized.

"YOU!" roared Agent 3 in a completely uncharacteristic manner as he drew his Hero Shot and aimed it at Cuttlefish. "You measly scrap of seafood! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!"

Cap'n Cuttlefish, meanwhile, was completely confused by what was going on. "Whaaa?! Telephone! What are you doing to Agent 3?!" cried Cuttlefish before the apparently berserk Agent 3 pistol-whipped him, knocking the old-timer out cold. The berserk New Squidbeak Splatoon agent then made his way over to the employee-model CQ-80 and picked it up.

"Number 10,008, why are you associating with these superfluous nobodies?!" Agent 3 snarled into the device as he pulled something up on the CQ-80. "Track the CQ-80 signal in possession of Test Subject Number 10,008! Authorization: Commander Tartar!"

The holographic screen then displayed what appeared to be Agent 8's location. "Heading for the Diaphragm Phase, are we…? Why, thank you 10,008… you just saved me the trouble of having to move the experimental Zapfish Energy Core and hook it up to the NILS cannon… I think I'll wait for you at the Spinal Phase…"

And with that, the hijacked Agent 3 typed in a command on the Cq-80, which caused what appeared to be a flying saucer to crash through the roof before placing the device in his pocket, hefting the unconscious Cap'n Cuttlefish over his shoulder, and boarding the saucer.

Spinal Phase-A Short Time Later…

Agent 8 was growing worried as she stood on the elevator leading to the surface. She, Pearl, and Marina hadn't heard a peep from the captain since it sounded like he'd had some sort of scuffle. She hoped the captain and Agent 3 were okay…

Pearl and Marina had told her that they would come and pick up her, the captain, and Agent 3 in their helicopter, which admittedly sounded kinda fun. After all, if you had a badass helicopter, why not use it to save someone? However, Agent 8's worries quickly increased when the elevator came to a sudden halt.

Looking around in confusion, Agent 8 caught sight of a lone figure standing atop one of the elevator's support beams. Hovering nearby was what looked like a flying saucer that, upon closer inspection, had Cap'n Cuttlefish dangling from it upside down.

"About time you got here, Number 10,008," the figure atop the support beam said. "I was worried that one of the Sanitized might have destroyed you and the Power Core, and that would have set my plans back a very long way. Do you know how hard it is to find a Zapfish that isn't already in captivity?"

"GYAAAH! AGENT 8, HELP MEEEE!" cried Cap'n Cuttlefish. "AGENT 3'S MIND WAS HIJACKED BY THAT CRAZY PHONE!"

"Oh, shut up, you pathetic excuse of a higher life form!" snapped the figure, now revealed to be a hijacked Agent 3. "Now, then, as for you, Number 10,008… I'm afraid you're gonna have to die now. Nothing personal."

And with that, the hijacked Agent 3 jumped off the support beam and opened the fight with a Splashdown Special, only for Agent 8 to ink the area around her, shift into octopus form, and avoid the attack.

Agent 3 opened fire on Agent 8 with his Hero Shot, only for Agent 8 to duck into her ink as an octopus before re-emerging and landing a couple of solid shots on Agent 3 with her Octoshot before following up with a Splat Bomb, only for Agent 3 to avoid the bomb and dive into his liquid. Upon emerging, Agent 3 surprised everyone present when he swapped out his Hero Shot for a pair of Hero Dualies and triggered a completely different Special Weapon, the Baller.

"Are you serious? That is way too many specials! And where'd he get Dualies from?!" yelled Pearl.

"Looks like either Agent 3 or that goo on his head disabled the limiter…" said Marina.

"No limiter? No problem!" said Agent 8 as she dove back into her ink as an octopus and swam as fast as she could out of the Baller's range before it exploded in a burst of liquid. Seizing her opening, Agent 8 tossed out a Splat Bomb as a distraction before firing her Octoshot, piercing Agent 3's armor.

"Urrgh… you're proving to be quite a handful, Number 10,008… I can see why you were able to pass my tests so easily…" said the hijacked Agent 3. "But, now, it's time to get serious!"

And with that, the possessed agent leapt onto the flying saucer and got ready to fire another Special Weapon, the Stingray. However, Agent 8 hesitated on returning fire for a moment due to Cap'n Cuttlefish dangling upside-down from the saucer that Agent 3 was firing from.

Seeing this hesitation, Cuttlefish called out "Agent 8, don't worry about me! Just take down Agent 3!"

Taking that as her go-ahead, Agent 8 opened fire on Agent 3 and tossed a couple Splat Bombs onto his saucer, forcing him to leap from it, and allowing Agent 8 to blast the sludge that had latched onto the side of his head in a flurry of ink bullets, and off the side of the elevator.

As Agent 3 cried out in pain while the sludge parted from his flesh, Agent 8 was shocked to see deep wounds open up on his face from where the sludge had apparently grafted itself onto, causing a small spray of blood to fly from Agent 3's face, as well as damage the right side of his headpiece and take a piece of his tentacle-cut, though thankfully his ear on that side looked unharmed. 

While these injuries were unsettling to look at right now, Agent 8 was sure Agent 3 would be fine as long as the injuries were tended to properly. After all, Inklings and Octolings did have accelerated regeneration.

"Well done, Agent 8!" came the voice of Cap'n Cuttlefish as the elevator resumed its ascent.

"Looks like Agent 3 is out cold… again… will he attack you if he wakes up?" asked Pearl.

"To be honest, Pearl, I don't know…" admitted Agent 8. "I'm more worried about what that sludge did to him. Part of his face looks like the Sanitized and he was under the influence of mind control, not to mention how I forcibly removed that sludge from his head… and I doubt any normal doctors will have an answer."

"I think we should run some tests on him. I have a few machines that should help determine if there's anything wrong with Agent 3," said Marina.

Cap'n Cuttlefish heaved a sigh. "As much as I don't like the idea of usin' Octo-tech on one of my agents, especially my own protege and successor, Agent 8 raises some valid concerns… very well, Marina. Once we get outta here, see what you can do. Now then, Agent 8, untie me this instant!"

The Surface-A Few Moments Later…

Agent 8 slowly emerged onto the surface from the hatch that the elevator led to. There was a beautiful sunset and a gentle breeze blowing through the area. Agent 8 ran a hand through her tentacle-cut and closed her eyes as she inhaled the saltwater air of the ocean… she felt a sense of peace and comfort for the first time in what felt like forever.

Agent 8's eyes opened again when she heard a familiar song blare through the air and the sound of several helicopter rotors. Looking up, Agent 8 saw what looked like several helicopters led by a golden one that had a large neon sign on it and carried what looked like a platform that seemed to be intended as a stage underneath it.

"Eight!" called Pearl from the golden helicopter. "We got you!"

Cap'n Cuttlefish, who was carrying the unconscious Agent 3 on his shoulder, emerged from the hatch just as the golden helicopter came in and placed the platform on the ground. Agent 8 and the captain carried Agent 3 onto the platform before Cap'n Cuttlefish gave Pearl and Marina the thumbs up and the helicopter took off.

As the helicopter took off, Agent 8 stared at Marina. She knew that Marina had once been a high-ranking member of DJ Octavio's Octarian military, just like it certainly seemed like Agent 8 herself had once been prior to being exposed to the Calamari Inkantation, but… why did she feel like she wanted to chew out and bark orders at Marina for some reason?

"Phew…" said Marina as she looked at Agent 8. "We can breathe easy now…"

Pearl pushed Marina out of the way before she started rapping. "We fly high and touch the sky…"

"Fight hard until the day we fry!" sang Cap'n Cuttlefish, earning a weird look from Agent 8.

"No lie, we don't quit, don't you ever forget!" sang Pearl.

Marina heaved a sigh. "Here we go again…" she said.

"We stay fresh, never frozen!" sang Cuttlefish.

"Reign supreme like the ones chosen!" sang Pearl.

While Pearl and Cap'n Cuttlefish continued rapping, something caught Agent 8's attention: the area where she, the captain, and Agent 3 emerged from the Deep Sea Metro was starting to rise out of the water.

"Hey, guys!" Agent 8 called out to Pearl, Marina, and Cuttlefish, getting their attention. "Do we need to worry about that?" she asked as she pointed at the rising structure.

As the structure continued to rise, Pearl, Marina, Cap'n Cuttlefish, and Agent 8 stood in shock. "What… is… that?" Pearl asked no one in particular.

Cap'n Cuttlefish let out a shocked gasp. "That form… but they were said to have been washed away by the Great Flood eons ago… it's… HUMAN!" he cried before he caught sight of something all too familiar inside the human-like structure's eye. "Oh, not that phone again!"

"TARTAR IN DA HOUSE! (DISABLING CONTEMPORARY SPEECH MODE)," the telephone, Tartar, bellowed. "Allow me to formally introduce myself. I am Commander Tartar, an AI construct created 12,000 years ago by a brilliant professor. My prime directive was to pass humanity's vast knowledge on to the next worthy life form. When Inklings and Octarians became self-aware, I had hoped my long wait was finally over… but as I observed your evolution, I WAS DISGUSTED!"

"You wage war over minor genetic deviations and the most petty of things! You obsess over trivial fashion choices! And so I created a new prime directive: destroy this world and start anew!" ranted Tartar.

"You know, now that he mentions it, Pulp VS No Pulp does seem kinda petty for a Splatfest theme… maybe we should do something else…" Marina whispered to Pearl.

"Too late, the choice was finalized last week," whispered Pearl.

Tartar, meanwhile, continued his monologue. "From 10,008 of the best and brightest test subjects that your pathetic kind had to offer, I created a sludge of supreme DNA! A primordial ooze from which the ultimate life form, WHO WILL DEFINITELY NOT BE A CRIMSON AND EBONY HEDGEHOG, will emerge! TODAY IS THE DAY MY VISION BECOMES REALITY, AS I DESTROY INKOPOLIS AND EVERYONE IN IT! PREPARE THE NILS CANNON!"

On Tartar's command, the human structure's mouth began to open, and from it emerged what appeared to be the largest Stingray that anyone present had ever seen in their lives.

"Yo… what the heck is that?!" cried Pearl.

"Gimme a sec… I'm analyzing that thing…" said Marina as she pulled out her laptop and immediately got to work. After a moment, Marina said, "I'm picking up a massive amount of energy emanating from that statue!"

"Uh… that doesn't sound good…" said Pearl.

"Yeah, so, that thing is charging up with enough energy to destroy the entire world as we know it," said Marina as she continued her analysis.

"How do we stop it?!" Agent 8 called up from the platform below.

"Hmm… let's see…" muttered Marina. "The entire statue seems to be absorbing sunlight and converting it into energy… so if we cover the whole thing in ink, we should be able to stop it!"

"You're saying we gotta ink that entire hunk of rock? Seriously?!" said Pearl.

"Well, we can use the hyperbombs I've been developing…" said Marina. "They're still prototypes though…"

"It's called 'field testing' Marina!" called Agent 8, who was almost immediately hit with a wave of deja vu. Strange… why do I feel like I've said that before…? thought Agent 8 before shaking her head and saying, "Just tell me what we gotta do!"

"The hyperbombs will have to be manually detonated, so you'll need to shoot each one, Capt-I mean, Agent 8!" said Marina.

"And what can I do?" asked Pearl.

"Once the statue isn't charging anymore, you need to hit it with a full-power battle cry!" replied Marina.

"Wait, what?! I haven't done that in forever!" cried Pearl. "I don't even know if I can still do it anymore!"

"Well, according to my calculations, we only have about three minutes until that thing is ready to fire, so use that time to warm up your vocal chords. We need maximum Pearl!" said Marina.

"Got it… blowing out my voice is a small price to pay for saving the world!" said Pearl.

Cap'n Cuttlefish called up to the interior of the helicopter. "And… what about me?" he asked.

"You can… uh… be the hype man," said Marina.

"You got it!" said Cuttlefish. "World about to blow, Squidbeak let's go!"

On that note, Agent 8 launched herself in her octopus form and landed smoothly on the statue's shoulder. And from there, the plan went beautifully. Five hyperbombs were detonated on the statue's chest in thirty seconds flat. Another five hyperbombs were detonated on the NILS statue's neck. A minute later, another five hyperbombs went kablooey on the statue's back. Ninety seconds later, Agent 8 detonated another five hyperbombs on the statue's right arm, followed swiftly by ten more two minutes in.

When the tenth hyperbomb on the head went kablooey, Agent 8 jumped backwards off the statue and landed smoothly on a platform that was being carried by another helicopter and launched herself back to where her friends were waiting.

"Energy readings don't indicate a full charge… but it looks like it's gonna fire anyway!" said Marina.

"Number 10,008… no test subject has worked so hard to spoil my plans…" said Tartar as the NILS cannon charged up. "But now… you will blend into the perfect world the professor envisioned! Farewell, 10,008! Farewell to you and that worthless cesspool of a city!"

Pearl jumped down from the helicopter and landed on the platform next to Agent 8. "Great work, Eight. I got it from here! Vocal chords ready!" she said before she pulled out her custom-made Special Weapon: the Princess Cannon.

"Ayo, statue! RAH DO FUS!" bellowed Pearl into the Princess Cannon, firing a beam of pink ink that collided with the blast of primordial sludge fired from the NILS Cannon.

For the first time since his creation, Tartar felt fear as the blast from the Princess Cannon began to push back the gunk from the NILS cannon.

"(INITIATE FAILSAFE PROTOCOLS. PREPARING TO LAUNCH BACKUP DATA)" Tartar said in his robotic voice, which went unheard by anyone just as the pink ink overpowered and destroyed the NILS cannon and the statue attached to it.

Pearl let out a soft cheer only to be glomped and kissed senseless by Marina, only for their moment to be interrupted by Cap'n Cuttlefish clearing his throat, causing the Inkling and Octoling couple to turn and look at him.

"Pardon the interruption, but if it's not too much trouble, could you drop me, Agent 3, and Agent 8 off at Tentakeel Outpost in Octo Canyon? My grandkids are waiting for me there, and I think I've kept them worrying about me long enough," said Cuttlefish.

Marina and Pearl got up off the ground, both of them looking very embarrassed with their faces flushed with crimson.

"Uh, y-yeah, sure… no problem, Captain," said Marina as she rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment.

Meanwhile, Agent 8 took a seat on the floor of the platform and looked out into the distance at the sunset that was over the city she had just saved. This… this was a whole new beginning for her. She was finally on the surface and a member of the New Squidbeak Splatoon…

And now, Agent 8 couldn't wait to see what the future held for her…

Chapter Text

Chapter Two

The Splatoon

Octo Canyon-Tentakeel Outpost

"Hey, Marie!" said Callie, a young Inkling woman who was one half of one of the biggest pop idol groups in Inkopolis, the Squid Sisters, although she and Marie were technically cousins. She had a black tentacle-cut and was wearing a pink stocking cap with a yellow star on it, a pink zip-up hoodie with a white shirt underneath, black shorts, and brown shoes, as she held up the dazed and confused form of a small Octo Trooper to show her cousin. "Aren't Octarians just the cutest?! Just look at this little goofball!"

Marie, a young Inkling woman who was the other half of the Squid Sisters and had a white tentacle-cut and wore a black and green kimono and black sandals, whapped her cousin on the head with her Brella weapon, causing Callie to drop the Octo Trooper, who ran away in terror to one of the nearby Kettles and dove into it, escaping to the Octarian Realm.

"Hmm… maybe the effects of those Hypnoshades haven't worn off completely yet…" Marie mused aloud.

Nearby, a sinister, albeit distorted, voice chuckled. "Did you really think completely un-remixing Callie's brain would be as easy as removing the Hypnoshades and assaulting her nostrils with some smelly ink? Sounds to me like someone's been watching too many Saturday morning cartoons."

Marie shot a stone cold glare at the source of the voice, which was an Octoling in its green and pink octopus form, with one of its tentacles scarred, trapped inside a damaged snowglobe with a pair of wasabi stalks. 

"No one asked you, Octavio," a male voice said from nearby, which belonged to a teenage male Inkling with a bright yellow spiky tentacle-cut wearing a cone-shaped electronic headset, a yellow-green zipper hoodie made of a reflective material, black and yellow shorts, and a pair of black puffy boots that were trapped down to a pair of black and orange tracks. This was Evan, Agent 4 of the New Squidbeak Splatoon and the newest Hero of Inkopolis… well, he was known as that by a select few anyway. 

The Octoling King, DJ Octavio, smirked and chuckled. "Shouldn't you be in school, boy?" he asked Evan.

Evan tilted his head in confusion. "What's school?" he asked.

Octavio chuckled. "No wonder we Octarians have superior intellect to you squids…" he said.

Before anyone could say anything more, the sound of a helicopter rotor and what sounded like some kind of song rang out over Octo Canyon, drawing the attention of the Squid Sisters, Evan, and the Octarian King.

Slowly, Evan reached for his Hero Shot and a Splat Bomb, only to pause as he began to recognize the song.

"-make 'em take it all like nasty! Jumping into the fight, no spite, just to teach 'em the pain that you're hiding inside! Take a second analyze and tell 'em bye, goodbye, the fight's gonna go down, because I'm high above the fight and right to show you a nasty time!"

That's Nasty Majesty by Off the Hook! But why…? thought Evan before the helicopter came closer, revealing that it was in fact carrying a platform that had what looked like Off the Hook themselves, some old guy, another female Octoling that Evan didn't recognize but seemed to be friendly if the fact that she lacked the usual goggles worn by Octoling Troopers and the fact that she wasn't attacking anyone was anything to go by, and what looked like the unconscious form of an Inkling dressed in similar attire to Evan himself.

I wonder… is that that Agent 3 guy Marie kept mentioning? thought Evan as the helicopter came in and placed the platform on the ground, allowing Pearl and the old guy to get off the platform while Marina and the unknown female Octoling carried the unconscious, and now that Evan got a good look at him, disfigured, Inkling off the platform.

"Grandpa!" cried Callie and Marie from nearby as they ran over and gave the old man, who now that Evan got a good look at him, wore a green military uniform with a number of medals along with a Captain's hat, a big hug before talking over each other, making the conversation difficult to follow.

"Uh, Callie? Marie? I know you guys probably really missed your grandpa, but do you have anywhere Agent 8 and I can put Agent 3 down at? He's really heavy with all his equipment…" said Marina.

"Oh! Um, here! I'll help!" said Callie as she and Pearl ran over to help Marina and Agent 8 while Marie turned to look at her grandpa.

"Did Marina just refer to that other Octoling as Agent 8? As in, Agent 8 of the New Squidbeak Splatoon?" Marie asked.

"Yep. Agent 8 over there is the first Octoling to ever become a member of the New Squidbeak Splatoon," confirmed Cap'n Cuttlefish. "She and Marina have had the Calamari Inkantation etched into their very souls… and you know that no one who's a fan of you and Callie or who's been touched by the Inkantation is a foe of ours. Plus, Agent 8 has proven time and again that she has the skills to be an asset to the Splatoon."

Octavio, who had been eavesdropping on the captain and Marie's conversation, growled. "You want Captain Hachi? You can have her. Since she's become deluded by that accursed Inkantation, she's useless to me. Same goes for Ida… though, I will admit that it does seem like Ida has found her calling among your kind…"

Cuttlefish and Marie looked over at Octavio in surprise. "Did you say 'Hachi?'" asked Cap'n Cuttlefish as he pulled out his phone and looked up his Top-Secret Octarian Dossier and began looking through it. "Hachi… Hachi… ah ha! Here she is!" said Cuttlefish before he, Evan, and Marie started looking over the profile of what was unmistakably an Elite Octoling, as told by the kelp attached to her goggles.

Octavia Hachi

Gen 85- Octarian Special Forces (whereabouts unknown)

CLASSIFIED

Age 6: Enrolled in the elementary training program at Slimskin Garrison

Age 9: Placed first in class in combat training, skipped multiple grades, took only advanced combat classes and other advanced courses. Graduated.

Age 10: Was selected to undergo OSF martial arts and weapons training, placed first in class.

Age 11: Tested experimental weapons for Combat Engineers of various garrisons, most frequently Slimeskin Garrison.

Age 12: Competed training and joined Octarian Special Forces, earned multiple commendations and awards.

Age 14: Promoted to Captain and team leader of the OSF Unit Salty Splatoon. Conflicting sources say she was rumored to be under consideration of appointment to either DJ Octavio's Black Ink Operatives or Personal Guard

Same Year: Went AWOL after coming within audible range of the Calamari Inkantation sung by the New Squidbeak Splatoon. No other information is available.

"So… Agent 8's real name is Octavia Hachi…" Cuttlefish said thoughtfully.

"Dang… according to this file, she was born and raised to be a badass! She'd make a fortune working for Mr. Grizz at Grizzco!" said Evan.

"I don't know… there's something about the boss at your day job that doesn't sit weIl with me, Agent 4," said Marie. "That aside, she would be an absolute terror on the battlefield in a turf war… certainly has what it takes to make and maintain Rank X to be sure."

Almost as if on cue, Agent 8 approached the gathered Inklings, completely unaware of the conversation they were having. "All right, so we got Agent 3 lying down on the bed in that shack comfortably, and Marina's making arrangements to bring over a machine to check and see if he's really okay after everything he's been through…" she said before she looked at what the gathered Inklings were doing. "What are you guys looking at?"

"Um… I think you'd better take a look at this, Agent 8," said Cap'n Cuttlefish as he hobbled over and showed Agent 8 her own dossier file.

As she read through the file, small pieces of her memory began to return, like leaks from a faucet. Finally, when she reached the end, Agent 8, or Octavia, had a thoughtful look on her face.

"So…" said Octavia. "My name is Octavia Hachi and I'm ex-Octarian Special Forces…"

"Has this helped with your memories, Octavia?" asked Cap'n Cuttlefish.

"What? You have amnesia?" asked Evan, slight worry in his voice.

"Does her having amnesia have anything to do with what happened to Agent 3?" asked Marie.

Octavia nodded. "Yeah… when Cap'n Cuttlefish found me, I couldn't even remember my name. And now, even after reading my own dossier file, I don't have much to go off of… just… pieces…" she said. "As for Agent 3, all I really know is what Cap'n Cuttlefish told me, the three of us ran into each other in Octo Valley, and they mistook me for an enemy, we fought, and then we were attacked by someone from the Kamabo Company…"

"The Kamabo Company?" asked Evan in confusion. "Doesn't sound like any brand I've ever heard of…"

"I don't think I've heard of them either…" said Marie thoughtfully.

"All right, round up your cousin and Off the Hook, Marie, they're gonna wanna be around for this," instructed Cap'n Cuttlefish. "After that, I want to know what's this I hear about the Great Zapfish and Inkopolis Plaza getting stolen, and about you being Agent 4, young man."

?

In the depths of the darkness of an unknown location, a shadowy figure with what looked like four robotic, tentacle-like, actuators was working on the struggling form of an Octoling boy with an afro, one of his actuators holding a syringe filled with what looked suspiciously like Sanitization Goo.

"Don't worry, little one… you'll be feeling much better soon…" the figure said before the sound of an automatic door opening rang out in the darkness, prompting the figure to turn around towards the sound.

"Ah," the figure said, a sinister smile illuminating the darkness. "Welcome back, Commander. I trust you find your new vessel suitable?"

"If I had to choose between being a phone and one of these semi-sentient pieces of seafood… I'd take the phone."

The figure chuckled. "I assume with the NILS Statue destroyed, we are going with the backup plan?" he asked.

"What do you think, Doctor?"

"I think…" the figure, known as the Doctor, said as the claw on one of his actuators clanged shut. "I'm going to need a lot more patients… and as it happens, I've finally devised a version of the procedure that results in more successful Sanitizations on Inklings…"