Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Finney Blake had no friends. It wasn’t as good as some movies or TV shows showed. He always had free time. Too much free time.

He had no one to call or text when something insane happened, or maybe even someone that’ll help calm his panic attacks.

His own pathetic excuse of a father wouldn’t even calm his own panic attacks. That same father are the reason for those panic attacks.

Finney was known around the school for being “Finney The Fag.” They weren’t exactly wrong. He did like boys. And girls.

He just randomly decided one afternoon in his room, that he was bisexual.

He saw a video on TikTok, which was a girl and her brother dancing to a song. And that sent Finney into his search, ‘Am I Bisexual?’

Here Finney was now, recovering from a panic attack in a stall. There were dried tear stains on his cheeks, right over a purple mark, from his Father. Nothing out of the ordinary, of course.

His eyes flickered to his phone, where he saw the time. It was about time for school to be over. And Finney hadn’t completed his goal; to talk to someone—that isn’t a teacher.

He then glanced to the stall door, then to the lock. Then back to the door. On the door, it had two phone numbers. They were spread apart. One was wrote with a pink marker, with a message on it.

‘I need friends.’

It was simple, and straight to the point. And Finney related to it. The other phone number didn’t have a message, but a simple smiley face.

Maybe Finney could complete his goal. He unlocked his iPhone with Face ID, and opened his notes app. He wrote the two numbers down, and put his phone in his pocket. He walked out the stall, and went to the sink, to wash his face.

He had anticipation from messaging the numbers, though he planned to do it after school, when he was home. Which was an hour away, since he lived thirty minutes away from school, and it was thirty minutes until school ends.

———

Bruce Yamada had no friends. Sure, he was popular, and known by the whole school, and other popular kids talked to him a lot. But he was lonely. He had no one to use his real humor with. And that was sad, because Bruce thought he was hilarious.

He had moved here in Denver a couple of years ago, and because he was a ‘pretty boy,’ they called him, his school decided Bruce was going to be popular. His younger sister, Amy, had befriended this one girl—Gwen, he remembers—and they have been together almost every day.

Bruce is happy for her, she deserves it. But it doesn’t hurt to be a little jealous. He wanted someone to text whenever he was bored.

He wanted someone to snap his head and turn around to when the teacher would announce that they got to pick their own partners.

Yeah, half of the class would ask to be partners, and yeah, but he didn’t even know their names. He wanted a true friend. A real one.

So here Bruce was, a red pen in hand while standing in a stall of a bathroom. He brought up his hand, and began to write. He wrote his Phone Number, and added a smiley face, just to be friendly.

He sighed. Bruce was really desperate for a friend. A true friend. He once went on a TikTok video, and saw a video that said, “Looking for friends!” And so Bruce gave away his number to them. And they never spoke again. They said hi, and then stopped.

He put the pen into his pocket and exited the stall. He walked out of the boys bathroom, and into his Science Class, then slipped into his seat after he set the Hall pass onto Ms. Claire’s desk, and another student stood up and grabbed it. Then walked out.

“Does anyone know the answer to this question? Mr. Blake, are you paying attention?”

Bruce didn’t know who ‘Mr. Blake’ was, nor did he care. He was just hoping for some guy to see his number and add it to their contacts.

———

Griffin Stagg had no friends. He maybe had spoke two or three words in school per month. Not even Bully’s would target him, because he was forgotten.

Not even teachers would remember him, because he never spoke. He got away with a lot of stuff, because he was invisible, he’d like to say.

If you were to ask anybody in this school who Griffin Stagg was, they would reply with “who?”

For his birthday last month—which the teachers didn’t put it on the announcement, as usual—his mom gifted him a pet kitten, which he named Pearl.

When Griffin was with Pearl, he would talk. She was the number one reason to not commit suicide. He would ramble and rant about homework, while stroking his fingers through the ginger cats hair.

Pearl was a tiny kitten, but she was loving. She was sweet, and nice. And she was the best gift ever from his mom.

His mom was also another reason to not commit suicide. She was the nicest and best mom anyone could ask for. She worked at the Café, and always brought some cookies for Griffin to snack on while she makes them dinner.

So yeah, Griffin had a whopping two reasons to not end it all. But they were enough to make his life sort of good.

Griffin wanted friends. He craved friends. He needed friends. Seriously, it might be his 13th reason why.

Griffin stood in a stall of the bathroom, holding a pink marker from his backpack. His hand rose to the wall, and he began writing his phone number.

He wrote a small message, indicating that this was NOT because he wanted a partner. He wanted a friend. Someone to laugh along with when the teacher showed corny presentations, or to laugh and gasp when they saw a fight.

He saw another number on the wall, but Griffin would never have the guts to text first. So he would now wait until someone who did have the guts, and would befriend him.

———

Finney Blake created a new group chat

Finney Blake added two contacts

Finney Blake changed Finney Blake’s name to ‘Finn’

Finn: hi 😵😵

Unknown: who is this???

Finn: I found both ur contacts on a bathroom stall 🫶🏻🫶🏻

Unknown2: I wrote that last month what took so long??

Unknown changed Unknowns name to ‘Bruce’

Unknown2 changed Unknown2’s name to Griffin

Finn: BRUCE YAMADA WHAT

Griffin: aren’t you popular and shit 😮😮😮

Bruce: yah I’m also rich 🥱🥱🥱🥱🤥

Finn: spare some money for the poor 💖💖

Griffin: aren’t you finney the f-g

Finn: no I’m Finn from adventure time

Bruce: ADVENTURE TIME!!!!! I LOCE ADVENTURE TINE 🫶🏻🫶🏻✨

Finn: I think he likes adventure time

not sure though 🤥🤥

Griffin: what tf is adventure time

Bruce: WHAT WHAT WHAT

YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ADVENTURE TIME IS

Finn: tbh I’ve never watched adventure time 😓😓

Bruce: ok cool that’s changing come to my house both of you right now 🤬🤬🤬

Bruce shared his location

Finn: be there in five gotta make sure my sister is aware that I made my first friend ✌️✌️

Griffin: I’m outside 🙌

Bruce: HELLO THIS KID JUST SPAWNED INTO MY BACKYARD ⁉️⁉️

Finn: LMAO we’re gonna be besties for the restizes 🫶🏻🫶🏻

Chapter Text

Robin Arellano had one friend. And god, Robin was grateful as shit for him. His best friend was Vance Hopper, the toughest kid in school, Robin being second, of course.

Robin and Vance were popular. They got into fights a whole lot, but for good reasons!

For example, Moose—the biggest asshole in school—would call Robin a racial slur, and call him a bunch of other things to get him aggravated. Which causes a fight to break out.

Moose ends up knocked out one way or another, but still gets some pretty good licks in on Robin.

Vance, on the other hand, will straight up murder you if you even look at him the wrong way.

But, he can grow soft spots for people he cares about. Such as, Robin Arellano, and Kelly Hopper—his little sister.

Kelly Hopper is four years old, which makes her eleven years younger than Vance. She has curly hair, and tan skin from their father.

Kelly and Vance’s father wasn’t the greatest person. Recently, he had went drunk driving and got into a car accident and passed.

He and their mom had got into arguments a whole lot, which lead to Vance playing dolls with Kelly, and their mom coming up to comfort them while their dad goes to a bar to get drunk.

Their mother was the greatest. She had long brown straight hair, with bright blue eyes that Kelly and Vance got.

She was pretty much the most perfect mom any would could ask for.

So Vance felt bad as he was getting in her car in the early morning on a Saturday. The plan was, he would drive over to Robins to pick him up, and drive to Vance’s again just so his mom won’t notice.

He put the keys in the key hole thing, grabbed his phone, and typed in Robins address. He set the phone on his lap, so he could glance down at it whenever he didn’t know where to go.

The car started, and he began driving. He listened to the sound of the birds that calmed him down. It was a hot morning, so his window was down as one arm was out.

Then, he was at Robins house. He rolled the window up, and opened the door. He closed it, and walked up to the front entrance.

He took his phone out, and texted Robin he was there. No more than ten seconds, the door was open and Robin Arellano was in front of it, leaning on the doorway.

“Hey hombre. ¿Qué pasa?” Robin smiled as he shut the door quietly as to not disturb his mom.

“Nothing much, now c’mon, I don’t want my mom noticing her cars gone.”

Vance had Spanish class, and it was one of the only ones he payed attention in, because he wanted too understand what Robin was saying. He could understand it, but he could not speak it.

“So paranoid..” Robin chuckled as he sat in the passenger seat.

They rolled their windows down and they blasted their favorite songs. Who would’ve known Vance Hopper and Robin Arellano liked James Marriott?

They were screaming the lyrics, and Vance had almost forgotten about driving. A familiar boy was riding his bike on the street,  and Vance had just hit him.

“Woah, woah, woah!” Robin turned the music down as Vance slammed on the breaks.

The guy—maybe Robins age—was grunting on the side of the road, with his bike on its side next to him.

Robin opened the car door, and rushed to him. “Holy shit, are you okay?”

To which the boy, mumbled a complaint of his head hurting.

“Shit, man,” Vance muttered. “What’s your name?”

“Billy. Billy Showalter,”

Robin thought for moment. He looked confused, and in thought. Then, as if a lightbulb appeared above his head, he spoke.

“Oh, you’re the Paperboy! I knew you were familiar. Uh—I’m Robin, this is Vance,” He exclaimed, pointing to Vance as he said his name.

“Cool, I’m Billy.” He said rubbing his fingers through his hair.

“We know. You okay?” Vance asked in concern as Billy shook his head no.

“Okay. Cool,” Robin panted. “Uh, concussion maybe? Do you know your address?”

“Can’t go home—I didn’t finish delivering papers.”

“No one even reads the newspapers—“

“Vance!”

“—you’ll be fine today:” Vance admits.

Billy sighed as he winced in pain and told them his address. Robin and Vance eyed each other in worry. Robin started picking up Billy and placed him in the back while Vance got in the drivers seat.

“I’ll stay in the back with him.” Robin looks towards Billy, who is passed out on Robins shoulder.

“Er—what if we just killed him?” Vance looks at him in the rearview mirror as he drives.

“Don’t be dramatic.” Robin giggles quietly as he leans back in his seat.

They get to Billy’s house and Vance has him on his shoulder, and Robin goes up to the door.

He takes a shaky breath—it was kinda scary. What if they did kill Billy and they go to jail? What if Billy’s parents just killed them because of what they did to Billy?

He brings up him hand and knocks four times. Then the wooden door is opened, and a tall man is seen.

“Robin Arellano?” He spoke, in a questioning voice. Not a, “Are you Robin Arellano?” voice, but a, “why the fuck is Robin Arellano on my front doorstep?”

“Hi, sir, um,” Robin turned around to see Vance holding Billy on his back. Billy’s dad must’ve seen it too. “Vance over there was driving, and we kinda weren’t paying much attention, and we kinda.. hit him. And we’re seventy percent sure he has a concussion.”

The man’s eyes widened. “Oh, dear. Katelyn! Can you come down? Thank you kids for coming to us, are you two okay?”

“Oh, no, we’re fine! Here, uh, Vance can bring Billy in or something. Or you can just take him.”

“Come on in, Vance.” The man smiled as Katelyn—his mom?—entered downstairs and saw her son on the couch with Vance Hopper next to him.

Robin entered unsurely as he stood next to Vance.

“Oh lord, what happened?” Katelyn gasped and rushed to Billy. Robin explains while Vance is oddly quiet.

“Thank you, boys. Do you need a ride home?”

“Oh, no, Vance has a car,” Robin reassured.

“Really? I thought he was fifteen.” The man—he said his name was Henry—tilted his head in confusion.

Vance and Robin glanced at each other, furrowing eyebrows.

“Uh, he recently turned sixteen actually. And… got his license recently… too.”

“Okay, then. Just done hit anymore kids with your car, then. One second, actually,” Katelyn runs to get a paper and pen and writes down something. She hands it to Robin.

“Billy’s phone number,” She explains, “He needs some friends if you could just… be nice. Or something.”

Robin and Vance thought it was kind of stupid, and embarrassing for Billy, but Billy seemed like a kind kid. Definitely the odd one out compared to Vance and Robin, but they could be friends. They need more friends than each other.

They nod, and Vance places the paper in his pocket and they wave goodbye to sleeping Billy, Katelyn, and Henry.

Vance Hopper created a new group chat

Vance Hopper added Robin Arellano, and one other

Vance Hopper changed Vance Hopper’s name to ‘Vance.’

Robin Arellano changed Robin Arellano’s name to ‘Robin.’

Vance: hi

Robin: hey man !!!! and hi Billy! do u remember getting hit by a car that was us lololol

Unknown: TAHT W AS YIU WTF !1!1!1!??!!?

Unknown changed Unknown’s name to Billy

Billy: this is awesoem im talking to robib arellamo and csnce hoppwr 👏👏👏

Robin: STOP NOT ROBIB 😭😭😭

Vance changed Robin’s name to Robib

Robib: that’s racist 🙁🙁

Billy: wtfffffffffffffffffffff I’m so high on pain killers

Thanks for a concussion btw😾😾

How am I supposed to deliver papers now 😖😖

Robib: with the power of friendship you will deliver our papers

Vance: he’s not twilight sparkle 😒😒

Billy: yes I am?? tf 🙁

Robib: I giggled

Vance: you while writing that: 😐

Billy: wait what tf happened to the rest of my papers

did you eat them

Robib: yeah their in my tummy

Vance: STOP

I hate that word with a passion 🤬🤬

Robib: you hate everything with a passion 😒

Billy: anyways why do you have my number

Vance: ur mom was all like ‘oh, my son doesn’t have friends!!! please be friends with him!!’ And she gave us ur number

Billy: STOP WHAT THATS SO EMBARRASSING 🙁🙁😖😭

Robib: IT WAS SO AWKWARD 😩😩

Billy: what are we

sorry that was a joke

I love saying that

I don’t like you

Robib: that’s racist 😕

Vance: everything is racist to you 😐😐

Chapter Text

Finn, Bruce & Griffin

1:57 a.m.

Finn: I dropped my fucking pancake on the fucking ground what the FUCK

Bruce: Finn it’s two am why are you making fucking pancakes.

Finn: idk why I just subconsciously got up and made my way to the kitchen I just wanted to get cheez its

Griffin: stfu im trying to get my beauty rest 😾😾

Finn: who?

Griffin: me????? tf?

Finn: asked 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Griffin: FUXKJGN CUNT🤬🤬

Bruce: STOP I hear my mom waking up because I laughed

Finn: we should SO just spam ur phone 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Griffin: that’s a great idea !!!

Bruce has notifications silenced

Finn: GOODBYE WE DISNT EVEN START TO SPAM

Griffin: LMAOOO HE KNEW WE WERENT PLAYING

Finn: shit I hear my dad waking up

do I hide or pick the pancake up

ANSWET

Griffin: IDFK HIDE

RUN OUT THE FUCKIN DOOR OR SMTH

Get in a pantry

Finn

please don’t die 😕😕

6:11 a.m.

Griffin: wakey wakey ☺️☺️

It’s the first day of skewl

It soosoosossosssoss 🤬🤬

Bruce: SHUT TF UP I STILL HAVE FOUR MINETES UBTIL I WAKE UO

Finn: I’ve been up y’all my I just finished my pancake

Griffin: that was four hours ago

Finn: I fell asleep when I put it in the thingy

Bruce: omg bro your midnight snack turned into your breakfast

Finn: anyway !! who’s excited for first day of school !1!1

NOT ME ⁉️⁉️⁉️🤣🤣🤣 💯💯💯💯

Griffin: AAAA I don’t wanna leave my cutie pie hunny bear pookie bookie munchkin darling adorable cat alone 😔

[image of Pearl, staring into the camera]

her eyes are telling me to stay home

I can’t fight this anymore

Finn: i can NOT keep defending you bro 😶

Bruce: my sister saw that btw

Griffin: AMY !?! Bruce was up at 2am btw 💯💯

Bruce: GOODNIGHT 😶

Finn: tf u on its 6 am

Bruce: it’s a joke FINNY

finney*

Finn: wow

To think I trusted you 😓

Griffin: guess who just found out your guys schedules and figured out we have four periods all together

Finn: thank??? you??? how??? did you do??? that????

Griffin: by being a FUCKING GOD 💯💯💯

Bruce: okokok awesome that’s cool UNFORTUNATELY we need to be in school in five minutes

Finn: shit wtf

meet at front gate

Bruce pick us up !!!

Finn and two others are offline

Finney sat on the edge of his front doorstep, waiting for Bruce to come pick him up. Gwen had recently ran away from home, and she lives with Amy now, Bruce’s sister.

Only recently did Finney realize that he and Gwen were both best friends with one Yamada sibling.

Griffin lived quite literally right next to Bruce, and Finney lived five minutes away.

Finney got a notification from his phone, and sees Bruce messaged him that Amy and Gwen walked together to school, so it’ll just be him, Griffin, and Bruce.

Finney waits for around three more minutes until a familiar pale yellow car shows up in front of his house. Finney stumbles onto his feet, and runs to the backseat. He slams the door shut, and Bruce puts his foot on the pedal.

“What time?” Finney questions as he goes to the middle of the backseat and then puts his shoulders on the little storage thing between Bruce and Griffin.

“Look at the fucking clock in front of you, dumbass,” Griffin laughed slightly as he was proud of himself for a comeback.

“Damn, it’s not that hard to just tell me it.” Finney rolls his eyes. Then he shoots his eyes to the clock. Seven twenty-nine. Shit, they were supposed to be there at Seven fifteen.

“Oh fuck, Bruce drive faster!” Finney shrieks as he covers his face. Being late on the first day is not something they would recommend. Unless you had a good reason, then you would get detention.

“I’m trying, I didn’t really feel like going to jail today!” Bruce shouts not meaning any harm.

As they pulled into the school driveway, Finney was already climbing out of the car. He slammed the door shut, and Griffin decided to follow him. Before Griffin shut the door, Finney heard Bruce shouting, something like,

“Get your asses back here, I still have to park this car!”

Yeah. That sounds right.

Griffin and Finney giggle to themselves as the run to the front door, clutching onto their backpacks. Bruce had caught up to them, and so all three were now running to their English class.

Finney was just talking with Griffin, not looking straight as he sprinted. Then there was a thud, and footsteps running. Then they stopped. Then they came closer. Those footsteps were Griffin and Bruce, but who had he bumped into?

Finney opens his eyes, and sees that he had bumped into no other then Robin Arellano. Finney’s eyes widen and they shoot to Bruce and Griffins for a second, and Griffin looks like he’s a second from bursting into tears.

“Oh shit, sorry! So, so sorry.” Finney reaches his hand out to help Robin up, and he accepts.

“No worries, man.” Robin shrugged. Finney’s eyes wander to the other two people he was with.

Vance Hopper, which wasn’t unusual, but there was also Billy Showalter, who was the fucking paperboy. No offense, of course, Finney thinks, but why are they hanging out with Billy Showalter? Are they even hanging out? Or was Billy a dumbass like Finney, and bumped into one of them?

He made eye contact with Billy for a second before just sprinting off. His black converse squeaked against the white tiled floor as Finney thought that he should visit him mom.

“Dude, what the fuck was that!? Actually! I can’t—I can’t breathe, I’m out of breath, while laughing and running, I genuinely cannot breathe..” Bruce takes a breathe. He stops running, and it takes five seconds for Griffin and Finney to notice.

They trail back to him, and Griffin and Bruce basically fall on top of each other while they are laughing not-so silently. Finney can’t help but laugh too.

“Can we just skip?” Griffin asked through laughter. Bruce and Finney nod and they decide to go to the back of the school, and sit on the grass.

They sat in a corner of the building, and they had their backpacks and water bottles.

Bruce held his water bottle in hand, and started chugging it. While doing so, he happened to have made eye contact with Griffin, causing him to choke on his water and spit it all over Finney, of course.

“What the fuuuuuck!!!!” Finney shouts as he covers his hands at the freezing cold water. Griffin is laying back on the ground laughing, he might as well die from laughter.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry!!” Bruce chuckles.

———

As the boy files away, and his two friends chase after him, Robin can’t help but stare. That boy was majestic. He had the prettiest brown eyes, that were aesthetically pleasing to look at.

He had curly brown hair, that bounced as he ran, and flowed with the wind.

Vance and Billy must’ve noticed him in his trance, because they started to look at Robin with concern. By they, he means Billy, because Vance was zoning out where the sunshine boy, Bruce was at.

“Was that Bruce Yamada?” Vance asked after a moment of Billy just looking between the two in-love boys.

“Yeah. Who was that one? That bumped into me?”

“I don’t know. But do you know who the shorter one was?” Billy inquires. “Never mind, this is gay as shit.”

“Come on, we’re finding out who they are.” Robin puts his hands on his hips, proudly.

“No the fuck we aren’t, I’m not a damn stalker.” Vance scoffs and crosses his arms.

“I think I just experienced love at first sight.” Robin tilts his head.

“This is corny as shit, come on. Yeah, we’re all gay as shit, we get it.”

“WhatEV-ER!” Robin scoffs and rolls his eyes while looking him up and down.

“Yeah, this kids gay as fuck. Also, the fuck? Bro doesn’t even know his name, yet he’s in love.”

“Bro looked at him for point two seconds and went, “erm, guys! I’m experiencing love at first sight..!”” Billy does his best nerd impression, and pushes up his imaginary glasses while pointing a finger.

Vance covered his mouth as he laughs at Billy’s impression of Robin.

“Oh my goduhhhhh, this is racistuhhhh..” Robin clicks his tongue as he throws his head back.

Chapter Text

Robin, Vance, and Billy 2:17

Robib: this fuckin kid just stole my donut 😡

THAT WAS MINE 🤬🤬

IT WAS STRAWBERRY TOO 😖😖

Billy: sorry that was me 💔💔

Vance: no it wasn’t

Billy: it wasn’t

But I’m craving a donut now 🫶🏻

Robib: get a fuckin donut then 😡😡

also

Robib changed their name to Robin

Robin: awesome 💪💪

Billy: I preferred robib

can I call you Robby

Robin: EW NO IM NOT 60

Vance: your not?

Robin: RACIST 🫵

Billy: OMG ROBIN MY NICKABME IS BILL YOURS IS ROBBY WE CAN BE OLD MEN TG 😇😇😊😙😚😋🙂😎😍😎😍😋❤️💙🤎💕💜💛❤️💝📁📋📗📐🗒️🛍️🎀🎀🪣🧼🪞🪑🪑🪑💷💎⏱️⏳📡

actually bills is my nickname

money 💚💚

Vance: um 💀

Robin: that emoji reminds me of something

Billy: hate you n ur stupid dead dad jokes 🙄🙄

Robin: my dad

oh for fucks sake 😡

anyways

I’m so in love

Billy: with finney, we know

Finney’s actually pretty cool !!!

Robin: who tf is finney

WAIT

IS THAT HSO BAME

Billy: yeah? I thought I told you?

Robin: NO???

HOW DO YOU KBOW HIM

Billy: we got assigned partners

btw he told me he’s sorry for bumping into you

Robin: he’s so sweet 😖😖

I’m planning our marriage

Vance: bro is probably giggling and kicking his feet

Billy: bros already got names for their children

Robin: STFU THIS IS BULLYING

Billy: and pushing me down the stairs at MY HOUSE wasn’t?

Vance: ROBIN WHAT

Billy: still have the scar 🙄

Robin: IT WAS AN ACCODENT

Billy: no it wasnt

Robin: yeah it wasn’t

———

Finney, Bruce, and Griffin 2:16

Griffin: I just stole someone’s donut 🎀

Finney: OMG WHAT FLAVOR ☺️☺️

Griffin: strawberry 😛😛

Finn: nvm you can have it

Bruce: GRIFFIN REMEMBER WHEN I PICKED UP YOUR PENCIL FOR YOU

AND WHEN I HELPED YOU IN ENGLIDH

also griffin your so nice and your such an amazing friend ily <3

also did you know sharing is caring

Griffin: omg wtv

come to the police station

Bruce: WHY

did you kill finney

Finn: yeah 💔💔

Griffin: cmon Bruce ur smarter then this

I’m just near the police station 🙄

Bruce: well I don’t wanna eat a donut in front of a police station

what if they find out you stole it

then we both go to jail 🙁🙁

Griffin: because I stole a donut??

Finn: LMFAO

“short ass bitch goes to prison because he was really fucking hungry and stole someone’s donut”

Bruce: HELP MEEEE 😭

Griffin: sleep with one eye open 🤗

Finn: why did I check to make sure my doors were locked

Griffin: why wouldn’t you

oh hey there’s Bruce!!

Bruce: do u want some of the donut Finn??

Finn: brother EUGHHH 🤢🤢🤮🤮

I hate strawberry’s 😾😾

Bruce: damn ok maybe you should sleep with one eye open

Finn: HELLO NAW THEY GANGING UP ON ME 😮😮

Bruce sent their location

Bruce: come to the police station !!!!! I don’t want our trio to turn into a duo 😔

Griffin: I do

Finn: what

coming my pookie bae 🤗🤗

Bruce: GRIFFIN okay see u soon my bae 🩵

———

Robin, Vance, and Billy 12:21

Billy: help me im popilar in school because I hang out with yoy guys 💔💔

Vance: they so confused why hes hanging iut with us 😭😭

Billy: STOP these popular kids are walking up to me

wish me luck

Robin: oh poor thing

he may not make it back 😔

Vance: nahh we gotta wait for him to come back

I say if he doesn’t respond in five minutes he’s dead and we need to search for him

Robin: good idea 👍

Robin, Vance, and Billy 12:24

Billy: GUAYS HELP ME THESY INCOCYED ME TOG CTHEOR LUNCHC THANEL AND GBEEY EANG ME TO YANG IUT EITH GHEM ANF GO TO THEIR OARTY

Robin: Great

I really understood that well

Vance: cmon now use ur big boy words

Billy: SHUSH MY FINGERS ARE FAT AND IM TRWMBEKIBG

Billy: OK

IM OKAY

SO

ONE TALL DUDE CAME UPT TO ME WND WAS LIKE

“hey man u friends with Vance hopper”

AND I SAIS YEAH AND THEN THEY ALL STARTED CIRCLING ME

I THIINK THEIR A CULT

TEYIBG TO CONVERT ME KR SMTH 😭

THEY WERE ASKING ME TO HANG OUT WITH THEM INSTEAD

AND THEY INVITED ME TO THWIR GROUP

YOU KBOW WHAT I FUVKING FID?

Robin: HELP WAHT??

Billy: I FUXKING RAN

I JIST TOOK OFF

THEY FUCKINT CHASED ME DOWN TOO

IM HIDIDBG

IDK WHERE RHIUGH

Vance: how tf do u not know

Robin: my god bruh send location

Billy has blocked this group, you can no longer interact with him anymore

Vance: I don’t think he wanted to send his location

Robin: IM SHITTING BRICKS VANCE 😭

Robin took a screenshot

Vance: EW why’d u do that 🙁☹️

Robin: BECUASE ITS FUNNY

Billy has unblocked the group

Billy: IM SORRY I PRESSED THE WRONG BUTTON 😔

JELP VSNCE???

Robin: OK NOW SEND UR LOCATION

Vance: bros gonna accidentally send an image of him in a dress next

Billy: STOP IT 😟😟😔

Billy has sent their location

Robin: we’ll be there soon 😭

Vance: fym ‘we’

Robin: I mean WE

you can’t just abandon him !?!?!?

Vance: I’ll fucking abandon him if I want

also I’m like across the school from him!?!

Robin: AND?? YOU HAVE LEGS USE THEM

Vance: OMFG JAUT GO GET HIM I DKNR WANNA

Billy: mom and dad never stop fighting 🥺

———

Finney, Bruce, and Griffin 11:13

Bruce: …finn…

my sweetheart

my love

my pookie

my munchkin

my dearest

Finn: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT MY TEACHER IS GONNA GET MAD AT ME

Bruce: …oh.. 🙁

uhmmmmm you had math last period right 😁

Finn: omfg what do you need help with

Bruce: uhhhhh what’s the answer to 16 😔

Finn: DJDDJSKSKSKKDKV I gotta get my paper out of my backpack one second 😒😒

Bruce: thank you my honey boo boo 🙂🙂

Griffin: while your at it Finn…

Finn: 😐😐

Griffin: what’s 23 🥺🥺

Bruce: how tf are you on 23 😡

Griffin: because I’m BETTER 💯💯

Finn: 72 for bruce, and 9 for Griffin 😵‍💫

OMG WAIT STOP

Bruce: WHAT???

also thank you my pookie bear 🩵🩵

Griffin: fuckin Elsa ass bitch with that teal heart 🥱🥱

Bruce: SHUT

Finn: omfg when I was pulling out the math worksheet the science teacher said to grab textbooks so I looked dumb as shit grabbing a math thing

THEIR CLALING ME DUMB

THE TEACHER LITERALLY CALLED ME OUT AHE WAS LIKE

“finn are you ok? becoz that’s math sweetheart”

THEY ALL ALIGHED AT ME 😔

Bruce: HELPPP ME I WOULD LAUGH TOO

Griffin: l + ratio + dumb as shit + not my problem + idc + kys

Finn: I AHVE U THE ANEWER ???

WHY U MAKING FUN OF ME 😭😭😖

Griffin: skill issue

Bruce: LMFAO GRIFFIN

Chapter Text

Finney, Bruce, and Griffin 1:13

Bruce: wake tf up sleepyheads!!!

BECAUSE WE ARE GOING TO THE MALLLL ‼️‼️

Finn: no tf we are not

what if some popular kid sees u hanging out with us

then ur a loser to them 💯💯

Griffin: finney he’s already a loser 💯💯

Bruce: NO I AM NOT?? I am such a not-loser 😄

Griffin: should we tell him

Bruce: GRIFFIN

Finn: I think he knows

Bruce: I’m outside your house griffin

Griffin: STIP I LOOKED OUTSIDE AND HE WAS JUST STANDING IN FRONT IF HIS CAR

WHERE DID U COME FROM

Finn: hmmm I’m getting flashbacks

Bruce: we’re picking u up next finnegan rose blake

Finn: NOT MY FULL LEGAL NAME???

Griffin: UR FIRST NAME IS FINNEGAN?? THAT IS HILARIOUS IM PISSING

Bruce: stop he literally just got flown into the backseat

He threw his head back a bit to far 😇

Finn: GOODNIGHT BRU

Bruce: wdym FINNEY. WDYM GOODNIGHT. ITS ONE. PM.

Griffin: I’m getting flashbacks

The brown haired boy stood outside of his house, sitting on the steps outside his house. He looked on his maps app, and saw that Bruce was about to pull up.

Google maps didn’t lie, because there was Bruce’s pale Yellow car, with Griffin laying down in the backseat.

“Get in loser, we’re going shopping,” Bruce had his arm out of the window next to him, and was staring at Finney.

“That is SO fetch!” Finney cheered as he walked into the passenger seat.

“On Wednesdays, we wear pink!” Griffin smiled as he sat up, and put his shoulders on each of the seats in front of him.

“Oh my god! You finally watched Mean Girls!” Bruce exclaimed as he looked at the back seat.

“I did! And, I would just like to say, I’m so Karen. I breathe Karen. I literally AM her. Also, I mesmerized every single song in the soundtrack of the musical.” Griffin smirks.

“Really? Oh god, we have GOT to put on Meet The Plastic. Bruce, your Regina, I’m Gretchen, and your Karen, Griffin.” Finney shrieks as he grabs his phone, and connects it to the car, and he puts on Meet The Plastics.

“My name is Regina George,” Bruce sings as he makes a sharp turn. Finney and Griffin hype him up as he sings his part.

“Yes Regina, no Regina,” Finney laughs through his horrible singing, and he has multiple voice cracks during his turn.

“My name is Karen, my hair is shiny,” Griffin pretends to play with his very long hair. Look how long that totally blonde hair is!

They all enjoy themselves, and soon they get into the parking lot of the mall.

“What are we doing first?” Finney looks around as the door behind them closes.

“We’re going shopping, of course. That can be first,” Bruce points at his pinky finger—he counts from his pinky to his thumb—as his goes up.

“Maybe get some food?” Finney suggests and Bruce has two fingers up now.

“And then, we see the new mean girls movie! It’s on in the theatre in two hours, that’s plenty of time.” Griffin adds.

Bruce has three fingers up. Perfect.

First, they go to a jewelry shop. Bruce had the bright idea of getting friendship necklaces, and they were all up to it. But the thing is, they have at least six sets of friendship necklaces they all lost.

So, of course, it wasn’t the best. They weren’t the best at keeping things in the right spot. But it’s okay. They’ll try hard too.

“Y’all are slow,” Bruce insults them as he was farther up in front of them.

“Bro let his inner Texan out.” Griffin mocks him as Bruce gasped.

“Inner Texan!? Do I look Texan?”

Griffin and Finney slowly turn to each other and they burst into laughter.

“This is so homophobic..” Bruce clicks his tongue.

They end up finding a cute pack of friendship necklaces, but they were a six pack. So they had three extra.

They help each other get the necklaces on, with no trouble whatsoever.

(“Ow, Bruce, my beautiful fucking hair!? That hurt goddamnit!” Griffin had shouted when Bruce accidentally got it stuck in his hair.

“Okay…I’m gonna yank it? Okay? Three… two..”

“No the fuck you aren’t—FUCK!”

“Guys, where the fuck did my necklace go?” And they spent ten minutes searching for it.)

———

Robin, Vance, and Billy 1:38

Billy: I feel like the mall today

Vance: you feel like a mall?

Robin: SPIT MY WATER OUT

Billy: DAMN BRU I JUST WANTED TO GO GO THE MALL DIDNT NEED TO FATSHAME ME 😭😭

Vance: I WASNT???

Billy: anyways I do feel like going to the mall SO

Vance: omfg I’ll pick y’all up

Robin: thank you pookie wookie bear 🫶🏽

Vance: never mind drive your own ass I’m picking up Billy u gon walk 😾

Robin: IM SORRY 😿😿

Vance ended up picking Robin up, and they drove to the mall, while NOT hitting the paperboy while he’s delivering papers and give him a concussion.

No. Not again.

So they got into the parking lot, parked next to a pale Yellow car.

“I’m so fucking hungry,” Billy groans as he covers his face and throws his head back.

“Kinda expected Vance to just go, ‘We know,’ or some shit.” Robin put a hand on his hip.

“I would literally never say that! You guys are mis-characterizing me..” Vance scoffs as they begin walking to the McDonald’s in the mall.

“If only you were a character. My life would be so much better.” Robin fake sighs, trying to look like he just said an inspiring quote. Vance hit the back of his head while Billy snickered.

They get to the line, and Billy groans as he crouches down.

Robin leans down and pats Billy’s head, “There, there,”

“I’m gonna fucking explode before we get to the front bruh.” Billy hits Robins hand away.

“Hey, Robin Arellano, right?” There was a new voice, from behind them. It was a girls voice.

Billy went from crouched down, to standing up in few seconds. Vance side-eyed him in response.

The girl had cherry red hair, with a whole lot of hair clips. She had a black dress with spaghetti straps, and black tights underneath with heels. She tucked a piece of her front hair piece behind her ear as she spoke.

“Uh—yeah, I am. Er, who are… you?” Billy and Vance eye each other.

“Oh, I’m Olivia. It’s so nice to meet you, Robin. Could I get your number?” She fakes a seductive voice, just to get Robins attention. Robin realizes he was getting hit on.

“Uhm, sorry. Not interested.”  Robin  scratches behind his neck, as Billy covers his mouth with his hand and looks up to hide his smile. Billy has horrible second hand embarrassment, and this wasn’t helping.

“Are you sure, darling? Not even a little bit?” Billy crouched down a little bit to the ground and faked a complaint about his feet hurting, and he fit the floor with his fist and he quietly laughed.

“Yes. I’m sure. Can you like… not?” Olivia looked Robin up and down and scoffed, and stormed off, mumbling something about stupid boys.

All three of them were laughing now, and Robin was incredibly embarrassed.

“She—she said, are you sure darling?” Billy mocks her and wheezed all m halfway through.

“Dude, that was so embarrassing.” Robin groaned.

“If anyone, she was embarrassing, that voice was so faked.” Vance adds.

They end up mocking Robin and that girl few more times, before they got to the counter.

The three boys get their food—Vance only getting a chocolate milkshake, as he had lunch before the mall.

“Billy, you were not convincing anyone,” Vance rolls his eyes as they were walking.

“Yes I was! I complained my feet hurt, and crouched, then I crouched down.”

“Did you forgot the part where you were laughing, not secret at all by the way, and fucking punched the floor?” Robin sarcastically adds as Billy rolls his eyes.

They continue their conversation, and Vance was not apart of it much. He was tired, and zoning out every point two seconds.

That’s not good. Especially for someone holding a milkshake.

Vance stared at the ground as one foot went in front of the other. He tried to not step on the cracks on the tile floor, and only in the squares.

Then, instead of two feet, there were four. And then the chocolate milkshake in front of him was all over this persons shirt.

Vance looked up from his empty milkshake, to the person in front of him.

Why, of course, it was Finney, the kid Robins crushing on.

The kid also looked up, and since Vance had a resting bitch face, he looked mad. And so this kid was probably scared shitless.

“Holy shit—so sorry! I’m so sorry…” Finney spoke up and shook his hands that were by his sides.

This kid was scared shitless. He had widened eyes, and was sort of trembling. No, he looked ready to just fucking fall the fuck over.

“My fuckin milkshake..”. Vance spoke softly.

“Uh—sorry for your loss..” That’s when Vance noticed his two other friends were with him, because Bruce fucking Yamada just called Finney a dumbass.

“You fucking dumbass, it’s a milkshake,” Bruce crossed his arms and scoffed.

“Bro said sorry for your loss about a milkshake,” Griffin mocked as he and Bruce stared at each other and laughed.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. I wasn’t looking,” Shit, Vance felt bad for this kid. He looked like he was expecting a punch or something.

For some reason, Vance knew it wasnt because he was Vance Hopper. And some other reason instead.

“No really, I’m so sorry,”

“Dude, the milkshake is on your shirt. I should be apologizing,”

That shut Finney up. Vance felt bad. He didn’t want to get this milkshake all over this kid.

“Here, I can help you clean your shirt!” Robin offered, too quickly, and Finney accepted.

“Vance?” Bruce said to him, and Vance’s attention was immediately on Golden Boy Bruce’s eyes.

“I can pay for your milkshake, since it was kinda full. I would’ve wanted it back too.” In his hand, was a ten dollar bill.

“I’m fine, it’s just a milkshake,” Vance argued.

“No. To be honest, I don’t know how you aren’t breaking down because that looked like a good fucking milkshake,” Who knew Bruce Yamada was this funny?

Vance just gave up and followed him while Bruce talked on their way to the McDonald’s line.

———

Finn, Bruce, and Griffin 3:47

Finn: WHAT THE FUCK

I TOLD HIM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS

WHAT IS WRONG WIRH ME

Bruce: NO BECUAES RHAT WAS SO FUNNY IDK HOW VANCE DIDBT PUNCH YOU

Griffin: I WAS IN TEARS BRU

Finn: NO BECUASE I LITERALLY FELT TEARS IN MY EYES

Bruce: wait aren’t you wearing Robins sweatshirt now becuase you said the shirt was too cold to wear

Finn: yeah

also

why is Robin kinda…

Griffin: NAHHH

HE CLEANED UP YOUR SHIRT AND YOU FALLING IN LOVE

Finn: IM NOT FALLING IN LOVE HES JUST KINDA CUTE

ITS A TINY CRUSH

Bruce: bros probably cuddling that hoodie rn

“ITS JUST A TINY CRUSH GUYS”

Griffin: bro WANTS to be that hoodie

Finn: YOU GUYS SUCK

NOT HEARING ME OUT ON HIM 🥺🥺

Griffin: stfu you didn’t hear me out on bill nye the science guy

Bruce: and you didn’t hear me out on rui kamishiro

Finn: reminds me to get back on my mmj grind 💪💪

I’m airi for Halloween guys☺️☺️

Griffin: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Bruce: literalllt NO ONE CARES 💪💪

Finn: damn bru I wish I went in another stall that one day

Finn is muted for three hours

Chapter Text

Robin, Vance, and Billy 3:32 p.m.

Robin: OMG OMG 😻😻

THAT WAS SO SCARY!?!?

Vance: u literally RAISED ur hand

Billy: “I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!!”

Vance: THATS WHAT I THOUGHT

Robin: HES SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO😍😍

AHHH

HES SO PRETTY

LIKE

HIS EYES ARE ADORABLE

HIS HAIR IS SO FLUFFY

I GAVE HIM MY FUCKIN HOODIE

WHAT IF HES WEARING IT RIGHT NOW

OMG????

GUYS

guys

y’all are fake 😶😶

Vance: no I’m actually pretty real

Robin: no your not I’m just a figment of your imagination this whole conversation wasn’t real and even your not real

Billy: BRO IS FUCKING GASLIGHTIBG HELP ME

Robin: Billy this is all a hallucination just to make you feel better about our death

we’re not real,

and your not real.

Vance: NO ONE IS SAFE LMFAO

Billy: BRO IS SENDING ME INTO A EXEESNTAIL CRISIS AT THREE PM

Robin: Billy spell something right (level impossible)

Billy: Robin stop being a dumb fucking bitch (level impossible)

Vance: bro went for the throat

Robin: Billy have a good memory for once (level impossible)

Billy: Robin stop crying yourself to sleep because Finney doesnt like you back (level impossible)

Vance: FOUL

Robin: Billy stop being a fucking whore for newspapers (level impossible)

Billy: Vance stop obsessing over the pinball machine (level impossible)

Robin: Vance stop getting angry for the smallest things (level impossible)

Vance: WTF DID I DO

Billy: we know what you are.

Vance: HELLO??

———

Finney, Bruce, and Griffin 7:13 a.m.

Griffin: help me this fucking abracadabra bitch ass van is stalking me

Finn: l + ratio + skill issue

Griffin: STFU BOY KISSER

Bruce: send ur fucking location??? and like?? don’t?? get kidnapped??

Griffin: maybe finney would stop fucking ATTACKING me for no damn reason if I got kidnapped

Finn: SEND UR LOCATION HOE

Griffin sent their location

Finn: this is why you don’t go on early fucking walks bro

Bruce: I’m coming griffin plz don’t die 💪💪💪

Finn: no plz do

Bruce: STFU WHAT IF HES GETTINF KIDNAPPED RN

HRIFFIN

ANSWT PLZ ‼️🙏🆙🙏🤢😍🙀🥰🆙🙀

Finn: PLED DONT GET KDISNLLRD

FGRIFIB TASGG

Bruce and one other is offline

Griffin had decided it would be perfect for an early walk, for once. He thought it might be good for an exercise.

He had been walking for ten minutes, when he realized a black van had been following him.

So, of course, he texted his friends, and sent his location to them. And so his friends should be here soon.

He had a lump in his throat, and his heart was sinking in his stomach. He was originally walking backwards to his house, but ever since he realized he was being followed, he decided to go a completely different direction.

Then the van stopped, and Griffin stopped accidentally. He realized he did, and then started to speed walk.

“Hey, kid! Come here, wont you?” The man had gotten out of the van.

“Sorry… I was supposed to be him a while ago.” Griffin apologized and walked faster.

“It’s okay, kid. I won’t hurt you. I am a part time magician! I just wanna show you a trick.” He said in a friendly tone, which made Griffin reconsider for a second.

“I guess.” Griffin sighed and walked up a bit closer to the van.

“Come a bit closer, would ya?” He asked, and Griffin took a step back.

“Gotta find the materials,” He went into the back of the van, and grabbed a black balloon, and then there was a sound that Griffin would’ve killed to hear.

“Griffin! Your dad is fucking dead!” Bruce Yamada shouted as he grabbed Griffins hand and ran to where Finney was standing.

Usually, Griffin would’ve made a snarky comment, like, “Bitch, what dad?” But he had turned around and realized that the ballon the man was holding had a sort of spray thing, and he held out his hand like he was gonna grab Griffin.

So instead Griffin played along. Griffin had a special talent, which was fake crying.

He felt the tears come in, and he covered his mouth with his hand and they came down. “He.. died?” He said quietly as they ran behind a building.

Then, Griffin slumped on the wall and started to laugh as he dried the fake tears.

“Bruce, what the fuck!?” Griffin said through laughter.

“I fucking saved your ass, that guy was easily about to kidnap you.” Bruce rolled his eyes.

“Bro we thought you died or something shit!?” Finney started to laugh along with Griffin.

———

Robin, Vance, and Billy 7:23 a.m.

Billy: IM FUCKIBG PISSING???

I WAS DOING MY NEWSPAPERS THING

AND I SEE THIS BLACK VAN THAT SAID ABRACADABRA ON IT

SND I THIBK THAT GRIFFIN GUY WAS GONNA GET KIDNAPPED

SO I WAS GONNA HELP OR SMTH

BUT INSTEAD BRUCE YAMAFA COMES OUT OF NO WHERE

ABD SHOUTS “GRIFFIN YOUR DAD IS DEAD” AND BRINGS GRIFFIN OVER BEHIBD A BULDING WITH FINNEY

THEB THEY WERE LAUGHIBG???

Robin: HELP ME IM SOBBING

also griffin doesn’t have a dad that’s why they were laughing !

Billy: how tf did u know??

Robin: I was stalking Finn’s Facebook and found griffins and Bruce’s and saw their parents and found out that he has no dad 🫶🏻

Vance: wtf am I waking up to

 wtf???

Robin wtf too??

Billy: bros probably knows Finney’s grandparents acsentors

Robin: acsentors?

Billy: idfk leave me alone 🙄

Vance: that griffin kid was gonna get kidnapped??

And you fucking watched bru?

Billy: NO

KINDA

Vance: nahhh

Robin: goodnight guys it’s too early for this

Chapter Text

HI GUYSSSS !! I LOVE YOU ALL SO SO SO MUCH, BUT I WILL BE TAKIBG A SMALL ITSY BITSY BREAK!! I AM CURRENTLY IN A MUSICAL, AND THINGS HAVE BEEN REALLY STRESSFUL N STUFF WITH MY LINES, SO IM TAKING SOME TIME OFF

reminndet, I will NOT be abandoning this story ! I’m simply taking a small break until I’ve like perfected all my dances and lines

Love you all, have a great day/night!!!

Chapter Text

Finn, Bruce, and Griffin 4:25 AM

Finn: griffin

griffin where the fuck are you

It’s been twenty minutes

Bruce has gone through nine crises

GRIFFIN STAGG

Griffin: stfu boy kisser

I slept in

Finn: WE ALL PLANNED TO HAVE ALARMS SET AT EXACTLY 4 AM

WTF DO TOU MEAN YOU SLEPT IN

HOW DO YOU SLEEP THROUGH AB ALARM??

THAT SHIT IS LOUD

Griffin: OMFG STOP ATTACKINF ME

ILL BE THERE SOON UGH

Bruce: wsig whar sre wr dounf

Finn: you’re right next to me you could’ve just asked me

also we were on call for an hour our tf do you not remember

Bruce: FUCJCING FAG JSYSG TELL ME

Griffin: LMFAO

Finn: I know what you are griffin

Bruce: FINNEGAN ROSE BLAKE

Finn: sir yes sir we are trying to climb the tall tree in griffins backyard

Griffin: HELP 😭😭

anyways I’m out here where y’all at

Finn: we hid in a bush because Bruce got paranoid and thought your mom was gonna see us

Griffin: she’s out of town??

Bruce: WHAT IF SHE HAS CAMERAS THAT ARE WATHCING US

Finn: it’s okay it’s ur first time sneaking out 🫶🏻🫶🏻

Finn, Bruce, and Griffin 4:43 AM

Finn: GUYS WHERE TF ARE YOU I JUST FELL OFF THE FUCKING TREE

ARE YOU SMOKING

DID GRIFFINS MOM CATCH YOU

BRUCE

GRIFFIN

HURRY THE FUCK UP

THERE WAS A CRACK

SHIT

Finney, Bruce, and Griffin 6:32 AM

Finn: brucey griffy wanna sign my cast 😻🫶🏻

Bruce: What the fuck

Finn: I broke my arm cus none of you BITCHASS CUNTS helped me

Griffin: I called the ambulance 🙄🙄

Finn: but you aren’t the ambulance -2000 aura points

Bruce: guys I don’t think I like sneaking out

Griffin: its fun only when finney over there doesn’t fall out of the FUCKING TREE

Finn: I DIDNT DO SHIT MAN THE BRANCH CRACKED AND THEN I CRACKED

Griffin: I GOT GROUNDED FOR A WEEK 🤬🤬

Bruce: I GOT GROUNDED FOR TWO WEEKS 🫤🫤

Finn: WOMP WOMP 👎👎👎👎👎👎

Griffin has muted Finn for 24 hours

Bruce: I’m texting on my old ipod rn

idk how it’s working

Griffin: HEJP ME IM ON MY SCHOOL COMPUTER

Bruce has unmuted Finn

Finn: I WILL HUNT YOU DOWB AND KIDNAP YOUR FAMILY ALONG WITH YOU AND FORCE YOU TO WATCH THEM AS I TORTUR THEM AND YIU SLOWLY GO INSANE

———

Robin, Vance, and Billy 12:32 PM

Vance: nobody talk to me they closed the pinball machine today

Robin: HEKL ME IN JUST IMAGINJG THE FEAR IS THE CAHSIERS EYES WHEN YOU WALKED IN

Billy: l + ratio + idc + it’s not that serious bro 😹

Vance: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Billy: 👎👎

Robin: guys did you see finn today???

he had a cast 😿😿

Vance: he’ll live

Billy: who

Robin: stfu ed Sheeran

Billy: I’m dirty blonde

Robin: yeah but

Ed has no gf because sheeran away

get it

Billy: robin what the fuck

Vance: I giggled

Billy: no you didn’t

Vance: I didn’t

Robin: GUYS

GUYS GIYS GUYS

FINNEY IS SOSOSOSOSOSO

Billy: bro has spoke five words to him

Vance: this is favoritism

Robin: well, yes!

Billy: WHAJSJFKFKELALDLFLFLFEII

Vance: BILLY NO

ITS NOT FUNNY

Billy: SHIT FUCK I LAUGHED

IN FRONT OF THE CLASSROOM

THE TEACHER ASKED WHAT WAS FUNNY

NOBODY TALK TO ME GUYS

SHS MAJING BE RESf TH ED COBVERSTAIB

Robin: Billy don’t

Billy listen to me you need to jump out of the window and make sure you don’t survive

Billy Showalter you are FUCKING DEAD TO ME

I WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE

I WILL RIP YOUR THROAT OUT

I WILL REMOVE YOUR ORGANS ONE BY ONE

Vance: BRO??

ITS NOT THAT DEEP

Robin: YES IT FUCKIBG IS

BILLY SHOWALTER

KYS I HATE YOU DIE DIE KYS

Robin, Vance, and Billy 12:39

Billy: Robin Arellano I hope you trip and break all your limbs and your head gets cut off but you have to live through every second of it

Vance: what happened sighs

Robin: bro said sighs 😹

Vance: you cannot be talking at a moment like this

Billy: ROBIN YOU MADE ME READ OUT THE FUCKING LOVE CONFESSION FRK FINNEY SND ALL THOSE DUMB ASS THREATS

I HOPE YOU KILL YOURSELF

I WILL BE SMILING ALL THROUGHOUT YOUR FUNERAL

Robin: BRO THEY RUFKING KNOW MY CURSH

THEIR GONNA TELL FINNEY NOW

BILLY I WILL DO THR GANGDAM STYLE ON YOUR COFFIN

I WILL PLAY HOT TO GO AT YOUR FUNERAL AND DO THE DANCE AS THEY CREMATE YOU

Billy: It’s not that deep??

Robin: you will be deep underground soon enough

Vance: HELLO??

Robin: or did you want to be cremated

I will gladly cremate you alive

I will cremate you while alive

kyskyskyskysksy

Vance: bro 😭

Billy: I’m getting targeted frfr 😾

Robin: Billy I hope a bomb is targeting you

Billy: ROBIN WHAT IS WRONF WITH YOU 💀💀

THIS IS BULLYING

Robin:  no it’s suicidal motivation

Billy: WELL ITS WORKING

Robin: hang yourself🤞

Vance: robin you can’t say that

Chapter Text

Finney was bouncing one leg up and down while he tapped his pen back and forth on the desk. The teacher was rambling on about… actually Finney couldn’t tell you because he wasn’t paying attention at all, and running on three hours of sleep.

There was tap on his shoulder, and Finney just dismissed it as his imagination. Then there was another one, harder. He sighed as he turned around to be face to face with the kid behind him.

The kid—Finney doesn’t know his name—passed him a paper, then looked away and acted like that didn’t happen. Finney raised an eyebrow, then turned around and looked at the note confused.

‘Robin Arellano has a crush on you!!!!!!’

Oh. This kid was just pranking him. Like always.

Finney’s been asked out multiple times, and every single one of them, the person was either dared to do it, or just wanted to poke fun at Finney for believing someone could’ve asked him out.

So, Finney did not believe this at all. The kid probably just wanted him to go up to Robin and embarrass himself.

Finney kinda wished it was true though.

He put the note in his pocket, now one hundred percent sure he wouldn’t be able to focus in any of his classes.

After a couple of periods later, Finney was in Maths class. It had been no longer then ten minutes, when the teachers phone rang.

She picked it up, and then put it down as she looked towards Finney.

“They want you in the principals office, Finney.” She tells him, gesturing to the door.

There was ooos, and other things. One student said, “Finney the Fag is in trouble!” Which led to Finney glaring at them. He picked up his backpack, and walked to the principal’s office.

Was he in trouble? He felt his heart sinking as he thought about what he could’ve possibly done. Did they somehow find his chats with his friends, and they decided to tell his dad or something?

(Speaking of his dad, after getting that broken arm, his dad had put a pretty bad scar on Finney because Terrance didn’t want to spend his money on Finney.)

He started to bite his fingernail, and ripped a part of it off as he approached the office. He sighed, then took the door knob and twisted it.

In the office was Robin Arellano sitting across and to the side of the principal. There was a second chair, which the principal gestured for him to sit.

He sat down, and looked towards Robin. Robin turned his head and they made eye contact for a second, and Robin smiled and did a little wave. Finney smiled too, then they both looked away.

Finney wished he died when he fell off that tree.

He was so confused.

“Hello, Finney. Me and Robin were just talking about his grades,” What does that have to do with him? “And he doesn’t really have the best grades in maths.”

Finney looked towards Robin, and tried not to laugh at the offended look on his face.

“Uh.. cool..?” Finney awkwardly smiled as he considered joining his mom.

The principle chuckled, and spoke again. “We were wondering if you could be his tutor?”

It took so much in Finney to not break the window and jump out of it. Such a shame the office is only on the second floor.

“Oh—uh, yeah! I could.. I could do that!” He gives a thumbs up slightly.

“Okay, perfect. Are afternoons on Wednesdays good?” She questions.

“Yeah. Anytime is good though. I’m no the busiest person,”

So they plan. Robin was suspiciously quiet. Oh, did he forget to mention that today’s a Wednesday?

The principal lets them out, and it’s lunch periods now.

“Uhm… do you wanna walk together?” Robin offers after the door closes.

“Sure! Yeah, I’d love—like too.” He stammers out and they begin to start a conversation.

Finney’s heart was racing, and his face was probably as red as a cherry. It’s okay, because Cherries are his favorite food.

They get to the lunch room, a bit more comfortable talking with each other than ten minutes ago.

“Okay. Bye, Robin,” Finney waves as he begins to walk to his lunch table with his friends.

“Bye, Finn,” Robin looks back as he waves.

Finney could explode.

His smile is wiped off his face righter after he turns around. He was way too close to fainting.

They were a bit early to lunch, so there was few people there. Bruce and Griffin not included.

He walked over to the corner that him, Bruce, and Griffin usually sit in. He slumped to the ground as he put his lunchbox on the ground.

He picked up his phone and began to text his friends.

Finn, Bruce, and Griffin 12:31

Finn: GUYS PLEASE HYRFH THE FUCJ IP TGE CRASXIEST THINBG HKRST HDOENED

Bruce: WE STILL HAVE FOUR MINUTES UNTILL LUNCH STFU BOY KISSER

Griffin: SHYT THE FUCK UP

Finn: how sweet of you guys 💛

Bruce: LMFAOO

Finn: anyways

THE LRINCIPAL CALLED ME TO THE OFFJCE RIGHT??

Bruce: SHE DID??

Finn: YES SHE DID

SHE WANTS ME TO TUTOR ROBIN

Griffin: ACTUALLY???

Finn: YES ACTUALLY

EVERY AFTERNOON IN WEDNESDAYS

Bruce: OMG AND TODAY IS WEENESDAU!

Griffin: tell him that I said Billy is hot 🤤🤤

Finn: GRIFFIN???

Bruce: LMFAO

Finn: can y’all just skip class or something

ask to go to the bathroom

Bruce: Finn we have two minutes left I think you’ll live

Griffin: I was already skipping so On my way!

oh

Bruce: you seem a bit excited to be with Finney

Finn: I will quote that for the rest of my life thank you griffin

Griffin: you’ll forget about it in five minutes

Finn: GET TF OVER HERE

Griffin: BRUCE YOU TOO

Bruce: he let me leave for the bathroom 💪

Finn: YOU DONT NEED TO NARRATE TOUR LIFE HURRY TF UP

Griffin: PISSING 😭

———

Robin, Vance, and Billy 12:30

Robin: y’all

vance why did you have to skip the same day Billy’s not here 🙁

Vance: more like why did Billy get sick the day I skipped

Billy: WTF VANCE 🤬🤬

yeah mb I’ll get sick another day next time

WTF

Robin: guess who got a tutor !!!

Vance: finally ur dumb as shit

Robin: THERES MORE STFU

MY TUTOR IS FINNEY 😻😻😻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Billy: OOOOO DAMN?????

Robin: y’all missed it 😔

We were walking to lunch tg 😻😻

Vance: bro was shaking in his boots

Robin: NO LITERALLY

BUT HES SO CUTE

I LOVE HIM 🤤🤤🤤

Billy: ok man cool tf down

Vance: no this is his moment he needs to shine

Billy: I’m fucking twilight sparkle he can’t out shine me 😡

Vance: fuck I’m so good at pinball guys

I just beat my record 🤗

Robin: man it’s been like a year since we’ve been friends and I still don’t even know how to play pinball

Billy: what tf is pinball 😭😖

Vance: count ur days motherfuckers

Robin: I would never fuck a mother!

Billy: I would 💪💪💪

———

Finney bit on his fingernail anxiously while he stared at the clock in the teachers room. It was about one minute until the bell would ring, and Finney would meet Robin and walk to his house.

He ripped a finger nail off, so he grabbed it from his mouth and dropped it onto the ground. He went back to zoning out while staring at the clock.

Finney flinched slightly as the loud bell overlapped the sound of the teacher explaining something. He shot up, grabbed his bag, and began to run to the spot they agreed on.

Thankfully, he had explained to his friends that he wouldn’t be walking with them today.

He stopped in his tracks, stumbling over his feet but catching himself. He saw Robin, who was also running.

“Finn,” Robin grinned as he stopped his sprinting as well. They walked over to each other.

“Robin, hi!” Finney returned the smile.

“Uh, my house, right?” Finney gives a thumbs up as an answer.

There walk was pretty awkward. It had been two minutes, and Robin began a conversation.

“So, uh. What happened to your arm?” He gestured his finger to the cast that was signed only by Bruce and Griffin.

“It’s a funny story, actually. Me, Bruce, and Griffin were sneaking out at night, because Griffin has the hugest tree in his backyard, so we wanted to climb it,” Finney started to explain, sometimes his mind wandering to a different subject, but he quickly snapped back.

Robin was looking attentively into Finney’s eyes. He could listen to Finney’s voice for ages and not get tired of it.

After Finney was done telling the story, he remembered he had a sharpie in his pocket. He stopped walking, leaving Robin to also stop.

“Wanna sign my cast?” He asked, handing the sharpie to Robin.

“Oh yeah, of course,” He took the sharpie as Finney brought his cast closer to him.

Robin held Finney’s hand—which he totally wasn’t going to tell his friends about later—as he wrote his name in all capital letters.

“Thanks,”

After about ten more minutes of Robin and Finney taking turns to ramble and pining at each other, they arrived at his house.

“¡Mamá! Estoy en casa y traje a un amigo.” He shouted as he opened the door. Finney took off his shoes and set them where Robin had left his shoes.

"¿Vance o Billy?" She shouted back as she walked over to the front door. She noticed the new person and had a surprised look as she looked at him for an answer.

"Este es Finney,” He explained as Finney glanced at him when he heard his name.

"Oh, ¿en el que estás enamorado?" She questioned as Robin nodded with a slight embarrassed smile.

Finney would probably kill to know what she said that made Robin so flustered.

"¿Les gustaría a usted y a su pequeño amante un refrigerio?"

"¡Mamá!" He said defensively even more embarrassed. “Finn, do you want a snack?” He said snapping back to English.

“No thanks,” Finney offered a warm smile as Robin returned it with his own, once again.

"No, gracias mamá. ¡Adiós!" Robin leads Finney to his room as they both sit down on the ground.

“Okay, let’s get started.”

———

It had been only an hour or two before they decided to be done for the day. Robin offered that he could stay a little bit longer, so Finney agreed.

They put on Texas Chainsaw Massacre—even though Finney isn’t fond of horror movies.

They say knee to knee next to each other, which made Finney a bit flushed. They were twenty minutes in the movie, when Finney started to feel his eyelids droop.

He tried to blink back falling asleep, but he was honestly really tired. He let his eyelids cover his vision while his head fell down.

———

It was morning—around the time Finney would wake up for school—when Finney woke up.

Finney opened his eyes slightly and took in his position.

His head was resting on Robins shoulder, as the rest of his body was curled up. They had a soft teal blanket placed neatly over both of them.

He saw his phone in his pocket of his jacket. He grabbed it, and decided.. why not take a picture?

He unlocked his phone, went to his camera app, and snapped a quick picture. He sent it to his group chat, and silenced his notifications. He decided five more minutes is okay.

After around ten minutes, Robin started to shift around. “Finn?”

“Hi,” He answered. Then he started to overthink. What if Robin pushed him away? What if Robin started to shout at him? What if Robin stole his phone and saw the picture? Obviously, that wouldn’t happen.

“Oh, we need to get up for school,” Oh. They both got up and acted as if they weren’t just cuddling each other. Finney wasn’t complaining. He just wanted to kiss Robin really badly.

———

Robin, Vance, and Billy 9:13 PM

[image of Finney, asleep on Robins shoulder. Robin is smiling while covering his mouth.]

Vance: OH???

Billy: OMG!?!?!?!?

Robin, Vance, and Billy 7:10

Robin: hey pookies !!

Vance: OMFG FINALLY U ANSWERED

Billy: how?? Did?? You??? Take??? That??? Photo without having??? An anxiety?? Attack???

Vance: what if he was awake

Robin: HE WASNT TRUST

BE HAPPY FIR ME

Vance: I AM HOPPY FIR YOU

Robin: hoppy 😭

Billy: Vance is a bunny (real) (not clickbait)

Vance: STFU

Robin: he literally was SOSOSOSOSO I love him ‼️‼️

———

Finn, Bruce, and Griffin 6:03

Finn: [image of Finney’s head on Robins shoulder, Finney smiling widely while Robin is sleeping]

Griffin: WHAT THE S CUFJ

Bruce: DINN??

Griffin: dinn 😭

Bruce: STFU

BUT

FINN

OMG?? I ACTUALLY GASPED

Griffin: SAME

MY CAT LOOKEDA R ME LIKE I JUST KILLED HER FMAILY

Bruce: LMFAO

finney did you die

Griffin: knowing him probably

Bruce: yeah :(

Finney, Bruce, and Griffin 9:13

Finn: it’s so sad none of y’all r in my first two periods 😔

Bruce: OMG FIBN

Griffin: we have some questions

Bruce: bro 💀

“I’ve been expecting you”

Griffin: STOP

HOMOPHOBE 🫵🫵

Bruce: NO

Finn: fuckin dumbass’s 🤨

Bruce: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Finn: ok I’m sorry

Griffin: “my dad named me after my great aunt who was a slave”

Bruce: DJFJFJKGKRKSKDKKCKV

Griffin: “Nancy? that’s my moms name!”

Finn: kill your self😇😍😍🥰😘😘🥰😇😇😇😇😇🥰🥰😍😘😇😍😅😊🙃😍

Chapter Text

Finn and Unknown 6:13

Unknown: hielio is this finney 😊

Finn: thumbs up and my thumb is painted pink !!!!!

wait who the fuvk are you

Unknown: it’s Robin!!! I saw one of your friends at the park and thought i should get ur number since ur my tutor hahahahaajaj

Unknown changed Unknown’s name to Robin

Finn: oh em to the fricken gee hi!!!!!!

uh oh my dad needs me one second ahajajajj

Finn, Bruce, and Griffin 6:16

Finn: WHO DID IT

WHICH ONE OF YOU DID IT

Griffin: idk what ur talking about man

Bruce: griffin did you do it

Griffin: yeah lmao 😜

Bruce: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO IT

also what did he do 😇

Griffin: oh so you hate me 😐

Finn: HE GAVE ROBIN MY NUMBER

Bruce: OMG ARE YOU FOR REALZIES??

Finn: I’m SO for realzies 😨

Griffin: omg you should make a new gc with us and Robin

Finn: that’s a great idea and I’m gonna do it RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!

Finn and Robin 6:21

Finn: I’m back pooksies 🥺

my friends want me to put you in a gc with them for absolutely no reason hahahaha

Robin: omg they are so funny I overhear them in class I wanna meet them 😆

Finn: ok!!!!

Finn, Bruce, and Griffin 6:22

Finn: LMAO HE CALLED UOU GUYS FUNNT

Griffin: at least someone cares for us 🥰

Finn: I hope you choke on the next meal you have

Finn created a new group chat

Finn added Bruce

Finn added Griffin

Finn added Robin

Finn, Bruce, Griffin, and Robin 6:23

Finn: what’s up my pooksies 😛😛😜

Bruce: jump

hi Robin!!!!!!

Robin: hiiiii 😇

Griffin: this kid is the second toughest in school???? 😐

Robin: STFU your like four 😡

Finney: he’s 3 don’t misgender him

Robin: shit mb gang

Griffin: I’M JUST A COUPEL MOMTHS YOUNGET THEN YOU????

Finn: ok yeah but you also gay 😂😂😂

Griffin: aren’t you in love with Robin

woah who the shit just said that

Robin: 😨😨😨😨

Finn: who the fuck is Robin 😁

Bruce: Riley it ok I’m joy 😁😁😁😁😁

Griffin: Riley it not ok I’m anger 😡😡😡😡😡

Robin: omg OMG OMG someone else who understands that reference 😍

I said that to Vance once and he was like “who tf is Riley”

Bruce: gasp how dare he 😡😡😡

he’s so hot though so it’s ok

Griffin: that’s pretty gay of you

Finn: remember that one time when you almost got kidnapped

Bruce was just being nice he didn’t want to save you

Bruce: FINN

I NEVER SAID FHAT

I larve you so mich griffy wiffy 😍😍

Robin: oh lmfao I remember Billy telling me and Vance how he saw griffin almost get kidnapped and Bruce coming out of no where and talking about how is dad is dead

Griffin: BILLY WAS THERE OMG???

did he think I was a pretty crier 😊

Bruce: no he said you were ugly as shit

Griffin: be so frfr you weren’t even there 😐

Robin: lmfao he doesn’t even know your name

Griffin: 😨

Finn: TSKE THAT BITCH HAHA

Robin: he does though I was lying 😄

Finn: ffs 😀

Griffin: guys what’s ur favorite emoji mine is 🙁

It’s so silly

🙁🙁🙁

Finn: I think Bruce likes 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

he relates to it so much

Bruce: I DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING

Robin: finney isn’t ur nickname Finney the fsg

Finn: don’t be shy say the full word

Griffin: pretty homophobic of you Robin

Robin: pretty racist of you griffin

Griffin: gay

that’s gay

GAY

UT GAY

UR SO GAY

GAY GAY AGY

Finn: I think bro is having a stroke

Griffin: GAY GAY

Finn: if you say gay then your gay

Griffin: GAY AGAY GAY

SHIT

Bruce: HAH GAY

wait

Finn: LMFAO

Robin: you guys are funny lmfao

Bruce: really..? no one’s actually said that to me before…🥹

Griffin: for a reason

Bruce: literally I’m making out with your mom

Griffin: that’s the weirdest insult someone’s ever said to me

Finn: be fr griffin I heard someone say they’d rather make out with a toilet plunger that was shoved into a cows mouth then talk with you

Griffin: WHAT THE FUCK

WHO SAID THAT

BRUCE

Bruce: FONT ASK KE

ASK FINN

Robin: IM IN TEARS WHY IS IT SO SPECIFIC

ANF WHY DO YOU REMEMBER IT

Finn: it was some kid griffin

Griffin: thank you for specifying that I thought it was a dog who said that 😐

Finn: I hope you drown in your own spit

Bruce: GOODNIGHTTTTT

Robin: goodnight 🤤

omg you guys should totally meet my friends

Griffin: you mean Vance hopper and Billy Showalter 😨

Billy’s fine but Vance is like SCARY

no way bro

Robin: no but he’s actually a big softie when you get to know him

he bought me a pin of a cat :3

Finn: damn frfr? you should totally add us then

Robin: bet one second

Robin created a group chat

Robin added five others

Finn, Bruce, Griffin, Robin, Vance, and Billy 6:48

Billy: why tf am I last in the gc name 😐

Vance: because no one fuckin likes you

wait isn’t this finn and the kid Billy saw almost get kidnapped and Bruce Yamada

Finn: no actually I’m Elon musk and I’m giving everyone except you a free ps5

Vance: womp womp lil bro 👎👎👎

I got my pinball machine 🤞🤞

Griffin: do you make out with it

Billy: WGAT THE FUCK 😭😭😭

Griffin: NO I SAW LIKE KISSY MARKS WITH LIPSTICK ON IT ONCE

Robin: AHY WOULD YOU SAY FHAT

Vance: yes actually it was me because I wear lipstick 😒

Bruce: guys favorite heathers character go

Heather Duke

Finn: Chandler eating up everyone frfr 😜

Griffin: guys it’s jd trust

Robin: VERONICA FRFR!!!

Billy: y’all it’s obviously Duke

Vance: what the fuck is a heathers 💀🙏

McNamara

Chapter Text

Finn, Bruce, Griffin, Robin, Vance, and Billy 9:32

Griffin: are we all bestie for the resties 😊

Vance: no kys

Griffin: you wanna fight blonde bitch 😡

Finn: was gonna say shut up but I just gasped outloud

Robin: SAME

Bruce: GRIFFIN YOU CAN’T SAY THAT

Vance: ok pull up ho

Griffin: No

Vance: fuck you mean No

Griffin: what?

Vance: .

Griffin: I never said anything bro 😐

Billy: BROS GASLIGHTING 😭

Griffin: that’s not even a word dude

like.. gaslighting isn’t real ur just crazy

Vance: why is this kid gaslighting me

Finn: what kid

Vance: literally shoot yourself

Griffin: what does that even mean

who even are you

are you really Vance hopper or are you just lying to yourself?

Vance: bro

Robin: YALL NEED TO SHUT UP THE TEACHER ALMOST CAUGHT GRIFFIN 😨

Griffin: who?

Robin: you?????

Griffin: asked

Finn: oh so you’re just taking my things

Robin: TF

Griffin: no tf I am not?

Billy: guys shut up and pay attention :(

Vance: what if you kill yourself right now

Finn: do you have any other threats…

Vance: do you have any personality…

Bruce: GUYS THE QUEEN JUST DIED

Billy: I’m alive and well idk what ur talking abt 🥱

Vance: suicide

Finn: that’s what my mom did

Vance: ok.

Griffin: bro doesn’t care 😭

Robin: what the skibidi 😨

Bruce: wait Finn griffin remember our friendship necklace and we have three more????

Griffin: I am NAWT sharing a friendship necklace with Vance hopper 😭🙏

Billy: who even are you lil bro

Griffin: be so fr everyone knows you only for delivering newspapers

do you know how lame that is

Billy: at least my teachers know I even exist and don’t skip over my name in attendance

Griffin: at least I didn’t make my first friends because they hit me with a car

Billy: at least I didn’t make friends by writing my number on a bathroom stall

Bruce: how the shit did you know that 😭

Robin: wait a second griffin send a picture of u

Griffin: ermmm ok

[image of griffin]

Robin: you fucking bitch

you stole my donut

Griffin: oh shit that was you 😓

Finn: YOU AND BRUCE SHARED ROBINS DONUT IM CRYINF 😭

Robin: I wanted that donut 🙁

Finn: if it wasn’t strawberry I would’ve ate it

Vance: no one gaf about donuts

Billy: FUDYS HIW DI I YURBE KY KHOEN OFF SIWLNT

TS HEER GONANA GETE MAD AT ENE

Finn: take ur time ☺️

Billy: Who are you boys? This is Ms. Monica, are you friends with Billy Showalter?

Who is, “annoying blonde”?

Finn and three others are offline

Griffin: uh. we don’t know a Billy…

Billy: “This kid almost got kidnapped lolol”

???

you almost got kidnapped?

Griffin: you should give Billy his phone back bye Ms. Monica

Griffin is offline

Billy: GUYS

CODM BACK OLEADE

IM SOERTY

Griffin: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SAVE ME AS THAT

Chapter Text

Finn, Bruce, Griffin, Robin, Vance, and Billy 2:02

Finn: IM LITRERALLY ABOUT TO PISS MYSSLF

Bruce: ON GOD BRO 😭

Griffin: LITERALLT SYING OVER HERE

Robin: oh em to the fricken gee what happened!!!

Finn: THE SUBSITIUE IS SO TALL

LIKE

TALLER THEN THE SCIENEXE TEACHER

Billy: taller than the science teacher? 😨

Bruce: ITS NOT AS FUNNY AS WERE MAKING UT

WE ARE STARING HIM DOWN RIGHT NOW

WHY IS HE LIKE NINE FEET TALL

Griffin: SHIT HE SAW US

SCREAMING

Vance: I have him next period

Bruce: HES SCOLDING FINN BECAUSE FINNEY LAUGHED WHEN HE STARRD AT HIM

HE LOOKS SCARED SHITLESS

Griffin: I’m literally dying

Billy: guys

what do you call a grizzly bear that’s wet

Vance: what

Billy: a drizzly bear

Griffin: BRCUE JUST BURST INTO LAUGHTER

Billy: Vancey are you laughing 🥺

Bruce: GUYS I AHTE THIS SUB

anyway who’s excited for Halloween!!!!!

I’m gonna be Miku 😝

Finn: I’m gonna be airi momoi ☺️☺️

Griffin: Idfk what I’m gonna be

Finn: omg you should be princess peach

griffin come with me after school I know exactly what I’m doing

Griffin: 😐

Billy: oh!!! so actually I was gonna be Daisy!!!!

Robin: matching!!!!!!!

also I’m Leo Valdez :3

Vance: I’m not wearing a costume

Finney: yes you are 😐

Vance: 😐

Finn: ur gonna match with griffin and Billy

Rosalina!!!

Vance: whatever

Bruce: HOW TF DID HE AGREE

Finn: jump jump more more jump!!!!!

Vance: are you trying to tell me to kms

Finn: NO!!!! THE SONG IS ABOUT REACHING YOUR DREAMS!! I THINK!!!

vance do you like omori

Vance: yes

Finn: PERFECT!! IF YOU DONT WANNA MATCH WITH THE DUMBASSES THEN YOU CAN BE AUBREY!!!

Vance: mmk..

Billy: THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME

Griffin: WHAT HE SAID 😡

Finn, Bruce, Griffin, Robin, Vance, Billy 2:11

Griffin: VANCE SHUT THE FUCK UP

Vance: WHAT TF DID I DO

Griffin: you were annoying me today

Vance: I SKIPPED RODAY???

Griffin: and?

Robin: LMFAO

Finn: “bro I don’t got anger issues” bro:

Bruce: wdym griffin doesn’t have anger issues he’s so sweet

Robin:

Finn: WHAY TF GRIFFIN

Billy: IN TEARS

Griffin: that’s not me

Robin: yeah because who else is named griffin that’s short and STOLE MY STRAWBERRY DONUT

Griffin: idk man must sound like a pretty hot person

Billy: yeah dude

Bruce: SHITTING

Vance: reminds me when I saw this girl shit herself in a Walmart

on the floor

Finn: I STOPPED MIDWAY TYPING

ON THE FLOOR

DIS IT LIKE

FALL THROUGH HEF SHORTS

Vance: no bro she had no shorts

Bruce: WGAT FHE FYVK

Griffin: WHY 😭

Billy: IMAGINE NEEDING TO EXPLAIN THAT TK THE EMPLOYEES

I RHINK I WOULD DIE

Robin: HELP THEY JUSR SEE A TRACK OF SHIT ON THE FLOLR TO THE BATHROOM

Bruce: “aw man not again”

Chapter Text

Finn, Bruce, Griffin, Robin, Vance, and Billy 2:02

Finn: IM LITRERALLY ABOUT TO PISS MYSSLF

Bruce: ON GOD BRO 😭

Griffin: LITERALLT SYING OVER HERE

Robin: oh em to the fricken gee what happened!!!

Finn: THE SUBSITIUE IS SO TALL

LIKE

TALLER THEN THE SCIENEXE TEACHER

Billy: taller than the science teacher? 😨

Bruce: ITS NOT AS FUNNY AS WERE MAKING UT

WE ARE STARING HIM DOWN RIGHT NOW

WHY IS HE LIKE NINE FEET TALL

Griffin: SHIT HE SAW US

SCREAMING

Vance: I have him next period

Bruce: HES SCOLDING FINN BECAUSE FINNEY LAUGHED WHEN HE STARRD AT HIM

HE LOOKS SCARED SHITLESS

Griffin: I’m literally dying

Billy: guys

what do you call a grizzly bear that’s wet

Vance: what

Billy: a drizzly bear

Griffin: BRCUE JUST BURST INTO LAUGHTER

Billy: Vancey are you not laughing 🥺

Bruce: GUYS I AHTE THIS SUB

anyway who’s excited for Halloween!!!!!

I’m gonna be Miku 😝

Finn: I’m gonna be airi momoi ☺️☺️

Griffin: Idfk what I’m gonna be

Finn: omg you should be princess peach

griffin come with me after school I know exactly what I’m doing

Griffin: 😐

Billy: oh!!! so actually I was gonna be Daisy!!!!

Robin: matching!!!!!!!

also I’m Leo Valdez :3

Vance: I’m not wearing a costume

Finney: yes you are 😐

Vance: 😐

Finn: ur gonna match with griffin and Billy

Rosalina!!!

Vance: whatever

Bruce: HOW TF DID HE AGREE

Finn: jump jump more more jump!!!!!

Vance: are you trying to tell me to kms

Finn: NO!!!! THE SONG IS ABOUT REACHING YOUR DREAMS!! I THINK!!!

Finn: vance do you like omori

Vance: yes

Finn: PERFECT!! IF YOU DONT WANNA MATCH WITH THE DUMBASSES THEN YOU CAN BE AUBREY!!!

Vance: mmk..

Billy: THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME

Griffin: WHAT HE SAID 😡

Finn, Bruce, Griffin, Robin, Vance, Billy 2:11

Griffin: VANCE SHUT THE FUCK UP

Vance: WHAT TF DID I DO

Griffin: you were annoying me today

Vance: I SKIPPED RODAY???

Griffin: and?

Robin: LMFAO

Finn: “bro I don’t got anger issues” bro:

Bruce: wdym griffin doesn’t have anger issues he’s so sweet

Robin:

Finn: WHAY TF GRIFFIN

Billy: IN TEARS

Griffin: that’s not me

Robin: yeah because who else is named griffin that’s short and STOLE MY STRAWBERRY DONUT

Griffin: idk man must sound like a pretty hot person

Billy: yeah dude

Bruce: SHITTING

Vance: reminds me when I saw this girl shit herself in a Walmart

on the floor

Finn: I STOPPED MIDWAY TYPING

ON THE FLOOR

DIS IT LIKE

FALL THROUGH HEF SHORTS

Vance: no bro she had no shorts

Bruce: WGAT FHE FYVK

Griffin: WHY 😭

Billy: IMAGINE NEEDING TO EXPLAIN THAT TK THE EMPLOYEES

I RHINK I WOULD DIE

Robin: HELP THEY JUSR SEE A TRACK OF SHIT ON THE FLOLR TO THE BATHROOM

Bruce: “aw man not again”

Chapter Text

Chapter 1

Best duo 🫶🏼🫶🏼 (plus griffin) (no hate griffin) (we love griffin) (not really)

Griff is online.

9:14

Griff: I HATE MY TEACJER SO MYCH SHES SI BOZING

Finn: shes si bozing 😭

Bruce: griff we need to talk

Griff: yeah

Griff: OH FYCK YOUR BRUCE NOT MY MOM

Finn: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MISTSKE BRUCE FOR UR MOM??

Griff: I have him saved as mom in my contacts don’t judge 🤬🤬

Bruce: why tf am I saved as mom

Griff: becuz ur the mom of the group??

Finn: yeah mom ur getting old and 4getting to take ur meds

Bruce: Finn you don’t even have a mom 😡

Griff: 😨

Finn: FOUL 😖

Bruce: my bad 😞

Finn: DINT PKAY THE VIJCTIM 😡

Griff: Finn was the victim of finding his mom

Finn has muted Griff for 72 hours

Bruce: 72 HOURS IM CRYOING

Bruce has unmuted Griff

Griff: FINN 🤬

Finn has muted griff for 72 hours

Bruce has unmuted Griff

Griff: guys don’t fight over me I know I’m awesome 🥺

Finn has muted Griff for 166440 hours

Bruce took a screenshot

Bruce: HAHAHSZJA

Bruce: FINNEY THATS 19 YEARS 😭

Finn: I know 🌈🌈🌈💗💗💗🎀🎀🎀💖💖💖❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰

Bruce has unmuted Griff

Griff: GUYSE TGE TTEAHERD SCOLDUBG ME BECUZ I LAUGJED WHSV IT WWA SILSNT

Finn: how did I read that perfectly?

Griff went offline

Bruce: IM CRYING THE TEACHER KEEPS LOOKING AT ME BECAUSE IM LAUGHING

Griff is online

Finn: I THINK THE TRAVHER TOOK HIS PHONE AND IS READING THROUGHTHE CONVERSATION

Bruce: she gon take mine soon 😔

9:50

Griff is online

Griff: GUYS SHE MADE ME READ THE WHOLE TEXT CONVERSATION OUT LOUD IM SO EMBARRASSED

Finn: I FUCKING JNEW UT

Bruce: GRIFFIN MY REPUTATION?? DID WE 4GET THAT??

Griff: nobody cares abt ur reputation 🤬

Bruce has muted Griff for 166440 hours

Finn: ATOP 😭

Bruce has unmuted Griff

Griff: STOP IT WHAT IF I LAUFHED

Bruce: I will pour an entire shampoo bottle in ur eye 💖💖💖🎀🎀🎀🌈🌈🌈❤️❤️❤️🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

Finn: WAIT GRIFF TELL US WHAT HAPPENED

Griff: THEY WEEE LAUHIHG I WAS SO SCARED FOR MY LIFE THE TEACHER IS SI MAD AT ME

Finn: FUCK YOU GRIFFIN 👎👎👎👎

Griff: womp womp 👎👎👎👎

Bruce: be nice griffin

Griff: sorry mom

Bruce: tf did you call me

Griff: mommy brucey

Bruce: ignoring that…

Bruce: griffin i FUCJING HATE YOZ

Griff: WHAT THE FUVK DUD I DO

Bruce: PEIPLE ARW GONNA NRVER SEE ME THE SMAE

Griff: it’s fineeee it wasn’t anything serious 😒

Bruce: I TOKD FINN HR DIFNT HAVE A MOM

Griff: AND?

Bruce: HIS MOM FUCJING COMMITRD SZICIDE 😍

Finn: oh bruce ur fucked 😃

Bruce: FINN UR NOT HELPING

Griff: I’m so smart guys she hasn’t noticed I’m still on my phone

Finn: so are we 😒

Griff: I’m still smarter?? 🫵😹

Finn: swys thi one who fauled the ela twst yederday

Griff: you can’t even fucking spell why did YOU out of all people pass the test

Bruce: he asked me how to spell broccoli yesterday

Griff went offline

Finn: fuck not again

Bruce: seriously dude how the fuck do you not know how to spell broccoli in 8th grade

Finn: DONT FUVKING WIESTION IZ

Griffin is online

Bruce: I bet griffins reading the conversation to the class again were so fucked

Finn: oh shit I forgot we’re gonna get in trouble & not just him

Bruce: shit dude my parents are gonna be pissed

Finn: FUCK PEOPLE WILL KNOW I CNAT SPEKL IN 8 GRADE

Bruce: HAHAHAJ HES PROBABLY SAYING ALL THIS AS THE CONVERSATION CONTINUES 😭

Finn: guys I can spell brocilli I swear

Bruce: hi guys we don’t talk about past events and words I have said 😇

Finn: he made fun of my dead mom

Bruce: stfu 🤬

Finn: hi griffins classmates 💖

Bruce: Hi 👋

Finn: fuck we should stop the teachers are probably gonna see this and we’re gonna get in so much trouble

Bruce: shit dude anyways bye griffins classmates 🥱

Finn and one other went offline

Griff is online

Griff: FUCK YOU ALL I FUCKING HATE YOU BOTH FUCK YOU I HAD TO READ IT AGAIN AND I HAD TO KEEP CONTINUING TO READ IT EVERY MESSAGE YOU BOTH SENT AND I DIDN’T HAVE MY PHONE THE REST OF THE DAY THEN YOU GOT US ALL IN DETENTION FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU 🤬🤬🤬

Finn: AHAHAHAJA IM PISSING DUDE MY DAD DOESNT GIVE A FUCK ABIUT ME IM GOOD

Bruce: my parents grounded me but I still get my phone cuz I’m the fav child 😜

Griff: LUCKY IM TEXTING YIU WITH A FUCKING TV

Finn: A TV!?!? ARE YOUR PARENTS NOT HIME???

Griff: THEIR WORKING PROB OR MAKING CHILDREN IN THE BAKC OF A CAR

Bruce: GRIFFIN.

Griff: sorry mom

Bruce: I’m not your mom.

Finn: is the dad Vance Hopper

Bruce: why would he be the dad??

Griff: don’t act like you stare at him every chance you get

Finn: you are literally frozen in place when we see Vance at the pinball machine

Griff: I have an entire album with pictures of Bruce staring at Vance

Bruce: GYUS TOP WHAT IF HE STEALS MY PHONE AND SEES THIS

Finn: he’s your man he just don’t know it yet

Griff: we can gaslight

Finn: OMG WE CAN FAKE BRUCE BEING MISSING AND WE GO UP TO VAJCE AND WE ASK HIM IF HES SEEN HIM SO HE HAS TI STRAE AT VRUCE

Griff: fake bruce being missing 😭

Bruce: Finn why tf are we planning my disappearance

Griff: bet he don’t even know how to spell disappearance 🫵😹

Finn: so funny 🖕

Bruce has changed the chat name to ‘FINNEY CANT SPELL 🫵😹’

Finn has shared a Spotify link to ‘More More Jump!’

Bruce: giggling

Griff: I have a video of Finney singing more jump more fluently if you want it mom

Finn: HOW THE FUCK

Griff: don’t question it

Bruce: SHARE PLEASE 🙏

Griff: [Video message]

Bruce: FINN WHY IS YOUR SINGING ACT GOOD???

Finn: MORE MORE MORE MORE JUMP!!!!

Griff has changed the chat name to ‘Finn is more more jumps #1 fan’

Finn: that’s right ✌️

Bruce: I saw Finn all perfect more jump more once i was crying in the corner I can’t even do HARD

Finn: bold of you to assume I haven’t all perfected every single mmj song in every single mode

Griff: you fucking what

Finn: [screen recording]

Griff: expected from mmj #1 fan

Bruce: Finn have you touched grass before

Finn: whars that

Griff: he cnat spell grass I doubt he’s touched it

Finn: STFU 🖕🖕

Bruce: this is unacceptable behavior coming from you, #1 mmj fan! Your parents will be getting a long phone call

Griff: did you recite what the teacher said to u

Bruce: it was a traumatic event

Finn: they told me they would call my dad and he literally hung up when she said it was about me

Griff: HAHAHJAJJAJ WHTA HAPPEND NEXT

Finn: she glared at me while I covered my mouth to muffle my giggles. *that was so funny..* I thought in my mind as I glanced away from her, my smile getting wider. She sighed as she put the phone down and jumped from her seat.

Griff: did you drink while you were pregnant with him becuz he’s writing like a watt pad writer

Bruce: clearly ao3 writer

Finn: one of my fanfics got 100000 hits on ao3

Finn: it was a percabeth fanfic

Bruce: wait I might’ve read it can u link it

Griff: guys wtf your all ao3 users

Bruce: stfu fanfiction.net user

Griff: I DONT READ FANFICS

Bruce: admit it griffin Stagg

Griff: fine I’m a proud ao3 user

Bruce: you don’t seem proud

Finn: [link to ao3]

Bruce: OH MY FUCKING HOD THSTA MY FAV PERVABETH DANFIC

Griff: why’d you put effort into it

Bruce: no wonder you were late on that one essay you were to busy writing percabeth fanfics

Finn: If you ever have to read this in front of class please skip over this part

Griffin: I’m gonna say ur ao3 user so they know who you are too

Finn: to your own brother … 💔💔

Bruce: IM NIT YOUR MOM

Finn: oh yeah I forgot my mom died

Griff: finn

Finn: my trauma bitch

Bruce: if u need to vent you can vent to me ❤️❤️

Finn: SEE??? HES LIT MY MOMMY ❤️❤️❤️

Bruce: that’s not what I said …

Griff: Bruce I feel weird and everyone hates me

Bruce: it’s okay griff, I think your special!

Griff took a screenshot

Griff: I’m printing this on a t shirt that says my mommy says I’m special

Finn: can you make a version for me that says Finn instead of griff

Bruce: griffin stagg and finney Blake

Finn: yes ma’am

Griff: *mom

Bruce: I should get a t shirt that says I’m mommy

Finney and two others went offline

9:38 pm

Griff: I’ll see guys tmr with nice clothing as a gift ❤️❤️

Finn: YES!!!

Bruce: Meet each other at griffins house be4 school to wear them!!

Griff: see you guys at 6:30 ❤️❤️

Finn: that’s the time I wake up bro

Bruce: we’re literally gonna have to wake up at the time Billy Showalter wakes up

Griff: wow !!

Bruce: that’s not a good thing

Bruce and two others went offline

4:42 am

Bruce: wake up babygirl 😼

Finn: mom what the fuck

Griff: pedo alert 🫵😨

Bruce: IM TEO YRARS OLFER THEN U

Finn: Bruce Yamada is a pedo ewww

Bruce: IM NOT A FICJING PEFO

Griff: YOI CALLED ME BABYGIRL IM 11 AND UR 15 YOUR BASICALLY AN ADULT 😓

Finn: BRUCE IS A PEDO 😱😱😱

Griff has changed the chat name to ‘Bruce is a pedo 🫵😢’

Bruce has changed the chat name to ‘Bruce is NOT a pedo 🖕🤬’

Griff: anyways GET TF UP AND GET PVER HERE SO I CAN GOVE U UR SHURTS

Griff and two others are offline

Bruce is online

Bruce: guys people are giving weird looks to me

Finn: I’m realizing how funny this actually is 😭