Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1-

Will's P.O.V.

-Thursday-

Nico has been gone for a week. Or, rather, it'll be a week on Saturday, so I have to admit that I'm being a little dramatic with the timeline. The last day I saw him was five days ago, on Sunday when we hung out, played some checkers and seemed to have a nice day, all things considered. Usually, he's gone for a day or two, but it's been too long. I'm not just worried , I'm constantly thinking about it at this point. 

He could be lost, or hurt or scared somewhere alone, thinking maybe someone is going to come find him, and then... what ? We don't? 

It's taking up every waking moment of my thoughts, making it hard to concentrate. I can't not know if he's alive, even. Oh my gods, what if he's not alive ?! 

It's making me randomly start glowing at times, which is amusing to my cabin mates at least. It’s not amusing to me, it’s becoming a serious problem.

I have to do something . I can't just keep obsessively checking his cabin over and over, multiple times a day, expecting him to be back. I usually have to keep doing that when he’s gone because he never tells me when he gets back, but this is driving me insane. 

So, I have my plan. My first order of business is calling Hazel from the locked bathroom in the Apollo Cabin. I need to make sure he's not just chilling out at Camp Jupiter, on Ambassador of Pluto business , whatever that means.

I shine my hand brightly on a prism, causing a rainbow to form. " Oh Iris, goddess of the rainbow, please accept my offering and show me Hazel Levesque !"

Slowly, an image of her appears. She's walking alone along a dirt path, and doesn't seem to notice that I called her. I don't want to scare her, really, but I have no choice.

"Hazel!" I call out, knowing that no matter what, this might startle her.

She jumps and puts a hand over her heart, looking over at me like she’s expecting a fight, or something worse. “ Will ?” She asks, coming a bit closer, “Are you alright? Is Nico alright?”

I frown. That's a very bad sign, considering I'm looking for him and was hoping he was with her. He must not be. Shit .

"I was hoping you could tell me. I haven't seen him since Sunday night."

She curls her hand into a fist, worrying showing in her eyes already. Might I just add: same, I feel it . “Oh, I haven’t seen him either. He might be in the Underworld.” She tries unsurely.

The Underworld !? I'd hope he'd mention that before going. The Underworld is really dangerous, even for someone like him. I guess if he was with his father it might not be as dangerous...? I don't know how that stuff works, it's completely opposite of everything I know, actually. "...Do you have any way of knowing if that's the case?"

“I can check for you, but I don’t know how reliable that is. Can you not call him?” She asks.

"I...did not think to do that, for some reason." I admit to her. It didn’t cross my mind, because I assumed he was seriously injured or dead already. 

“Try it. If it doesn’t work, then that’s where he is. Or he’s dead…in which case, he’d still be in the Underworld…” She trails off.

I feel my eyes somehow get even wider. Can I get more panicked ? Is that possible? I put a hand on my heart, feeling it as it beats faster. I need to get a grip. " Try calling him right now ?"

“I would be able to sense that! He’s not dead.” She reassures me quickly.

He's not dead, she'd know, Will. It’s okay.. . 

"Thank the gods. I'd sure hope you'd let me know if that happened." I manage a hollow laugh.

The idea of not knowing for a few days that he was dead makes me want to start crying right here and now.

“I’m checking.” She says, pausing and focusing.

I go quiet, not sure how it works for her to check and not wanting to interrupt. I just stare at her, unblinking, unmoving, not even breathing as I wait for her response.

“…I’m pretty sure he’s in the underworld?” She says.

I breathe,  moving to clutch the sink tightly. "Okay, good. Thank you. I wish he'd tell me before just leaving ."

“Me too. But he does it all the time.” She sighs deeply, looking over at me again.

"Doesn't it scare you? Like... he could just be hurt somewhere and we couldn't even help."

Am I being too clingy with him? Is it too much for me to ask, considering who he is and the danger he has on his back? He tells me over and over all the time how dangerous it is for him outside of camp, though.

 No, I don't think wanting that basic information for safety reasons is so bad.

“Yes!? I’ve lost him before and he almost died. But he isn’t usually with me, so I always just assume he’s with you.” She explains.

Great, so she’s expecting me to keep him safe and take care of him, and I can’t even keep track of him for a week?

I want to ask her about when he almost died, but I'm not sure if I should, I don’t know if my heart could take it.  "He usually is. He does leave for like, two days at a time semi-regularly, but... it's been too long."

Should we go look for him? Do we go to the Underworld?

Hah . I'd never survive there, that's a horrible idea. A child of Apollo underground, in the creepiest, darkest place ever (Tartarus excluded, that would be even worse)? No thanks.  

“You can go check, if you want.”

"I don't even know how I'd get there!" I complain. “If you tell me how to start, I’d do it. I’ll do whatever I need to .” 

“I’m joking. You’ll just have to wait.”

I search her face warily. Don't cry... it was a joke . I've got a swirl of emotions now. Fear about trying to find him. Anger that he didn't just tell me before he left, and an unmistakable base layer of pure unbridled terror about the possibility of him being dead. "How long will I have to wait without knowing?" I ask after a moment.

“I don’t know. He kind of does what he wants.”

"It's fine for him to do what he wants. It's not fine to  at least not tell one of us where he is."

She nods. “Maybe we need to talk to him about that.”

"I'll talk to him about it if he ever comes back. What do we do if he's not back by next week? Wait forever?"

“Wait…a while.” She decides, as if that means anything at all.

"A while ? How long is a while?" I ask.

What does she mean by that? Another week, a month and a half, two more days ?

“A couple weeks at most. Then I’ll find a way for you to get down there.” 

"...And you'll tell me if he's dead before that?" I ask worriedly.

I'll need to find a fighter to take with me... someone who can help.

“I’ll know if he dies. I’m more afraid he could be hurt.”

I nod gravely. "I'm worried about it, too."

He could be anywhere . There’s no way for me to get to him if Iris messaging him doesn’t work.

“He worries me so much. He always has.” She agrees.

At least she understands, then, it makes me feel less like a psycho. "I...will just keep checking in on his cabin. Can you let me know if he shows up there, please?”

“I will. I don’t have a full grasp on how to do this calling thing, but it’s…okay.”

“Do you have a grasp on it enough to figure it out if you have to?” I ask her. I forget that the Romans don’t usually do that sort of thing, and it’s so weird to me every time.

“I think so. I’m really sorry I don’t have more answers for you, Will. Now you’ve got me worryin’.”

That wasn’t my intention. I really got myself convinced that he would be there… I thought this call would go a lot smoother than this. 

“ Shoot , I didn’t mean to call you and get you freaked out or anything. Maybe you’re right and he’s perfectly fine.” I try comforting her. I do not feel comforted by my lies, and I doubt she does either. 

“He probably is, but he might not be. That’s the hard part of this.” She scowls.

“When he gets back, I’ll make sure he knows that someone has to have an idea of his whereabouts.” I cross my arms over my chest, standing up straight and glaring down at the water.

Is it really just a waiting game now ? Am I just supposed to… try carrying on as normal for a few more days? I was really, really hoping that Nico was just with her.

“Yes… Don’t pick on him too much for it. He’s just not used to having people around who care to know that sort of thing. We came from a different time too.”

“What’s coming from a different time have to do with it?” I ask her.

I try my best to be understanding with this sort of thing. I know that he hasn’t always had someone looking out for him and checking up on him, but he does now. He needs to start acting like there’s actually people who love him. 

Because there are . 

She chuckles. “When I was a kid, I was sheltered, but I still walked around and hiked mountains and glaciers. I just had to be home at a certain time if I wanted to eat, or sleep in my bed. You could always try that with him…a specific time to be home.”

I raise an eyebrow at her, shifting my feet. “You think that would work with him?”

I can’t imagine him ever agreeing to something like that, being home at a specific time . He does what he wants, when he wants to. 

“It might. I don’t know if he lived like that before, or if he’d remember if he did.”

I don’t either, but what other option do I have? All I can do is express my concerns, and then try her idea, I don’t have any of my own. “...There’s not a chance that you’d want to have this conversation with him, is there?” I try desperately. She won’t agree to that, why would she?

“Not the slightest chance.” She confirms. 

Fair enough, I don’t want to, either. “...I’ll be gentle with him about it. Thanks for the help either way, Hazel.”

If I don’t explode from all of this anxiety first, that is. 

“You’re welcome, I guess. Keep me updated if you can.”

“I will. Have a good rest of your day.” I tell her, waving a bit before reaching down and pushing through the water to end the call. I lean against the wall of the bathroom, sighing deeply. 

Where are you, Nico? If he doesn’t end up getting here in… three days , I’m going to find him myself, Underworld be damned .

I get another drachma from my bag, shine light onto my prism and call out to Iris. I really, really need this to work. 

“Oh Iris, goddess of the rainbow, please accept my offering and show me Nico di Angelo .”

The light keeps shining at the sink, and I watch intently. Maybe it’s just taking a second to work…?

I watch the drachma that’s just sitting in the bottom of the sink, before I start crying. He needs to be out there somewhere. He’s got to be just in the Underworld. Calls don’t work there, right? There is no light or regular water.

I’m giving him three days before going out to find him myself, dead or alive .

…

-Sunday-

I've been checking the Hades cabin since Nico never called me back.

And by checking in, I mean I've been going there every chance I've gotten and peeking inside, not to mention that I’ve been spending free time on the porch outside, trying not to disturb his space, but also really, really hoping Nico would come home.If he's not back tomorrow, I'm making up a search team and going to the Underworld to talk to Hades himself.

I can't imagine Chiron letting us go on a quest like that, especially not to the Underworld, it would need to be without permission and help, but I bet I could get Percy or Jason to go with me, someone really powerful like that who could keep me safe but also loves Nico.

If there was a way for me to call on Hades and ask if he'd seen Nico at this point, I would. I thought about trying to call on Dad, but I'm sure he's too busy for that. He usually is, he's the god of everything , practically. 

I convinced myself today that I'm not checking in on the cabin until free time. I can't keep doing this to myself, I’m tired.

So, finally, now that lunch is over, I'm hiking to Cabin 13, my bag slung over my shoulder.

I'm so exhausted, it's been harder and harder to shut my mind up to get to sleep the last few nights.

By the time I get to Nico’s cabin, I'm so convinced he won't be there that I'm half tempted to just turn around and go back to the Apollo cabin. This is stupid... I'm so tired of being so anxious, I need to just check in, then start preparing for my trip. What the Hades do you pack to the Underworld, anyway?! I wonder if Percy still knows how to get to the Underworld?

I take a deep breath, bracing for another empty scene, the already cold cabin even darker without him in it. With that, I push the door open, stepping in and glancing at the bed.

Nico's in it, fast asleep. I don’t know if he got here this morning, or last night, or...?!

I shut the door behind me and stomp up to the end of the bed.

"Nico?! Thank the gods you're okay." I say loudly, wanting to wake him. I need to know he's not hurt, and what the hell has happened .

He startles, sitting up quickly, putting his hand on his hip, where his sword still is. “ What ?!” He asks, before wincing.

" Where have you been ? Are you hurt?" I continue, my heart beating like it's going to pound out of my chest. I trail over him, trying to see any wounds or marks he has.

His wide eyes soften after a moment, but he stays tense. “I mean, yeah? That’s why I was sleeping.”

"...You've been gone for a week, I thought something happened, I tried calling you, but..." I tell him worriedly, reaching out to touch him but he pushes my hand away, fast enough that I can’t read how he’s feeling.

Dammit . I scowl at him again, he’s really going to do all of this and then not let me check on him?

“ Yeah ?” He says again, “I was just in the Underworld.” He mutters as he lays back down, ignoring me.

"I didn't know you'd be gone for so long... I thought something happened." I continue, despite him acting like this conversation is over. I did not worry about this for this long just for him to ignore it .

“Uh huh…?” He grabs a blanket and pulls it over himself, “ Relax .”

" Relax ? Are you kidding me?” I glare at him. As if I could do that after freaking out for a whole week!? “I called Hazel and she didn't know either!"

“Did you expect me to go to California first to tell my sister…?” He scoffs at me. 

"Well, no. But you could have called her, or told me at least. That way someone knew about it. What if you had gotten hurt? We wouldn't have known how to find you."

“I can take care of myself.” 

I remember what Hazel said, about being nice. It's going to make this harder , how am I supposed to be nice about this, when I’m so riled up?

"...Not everyone can take care of themselves all the time." I tell him coolly. "If you could at least let someone know before you leave camp, that would be ideal. I hate not knowing if you're even alive or no t."

“You don’t need to know where I am at all times.”

"I'm not asking for daily updates , Nico. I'm asking for your safety . What would you do if... you came to the Apollo cabin, I wasn't there, and I'd been missing for a week. Oh . And none of my siblings, or literally anyone knew where I went?"

He's got to understand that's terrifying, right?! Is he really trying to say that scenario would be okay?

“I’d assume something happened to you, and you’re probably dead, because you have never done that before. But I’m gone all the time. You know I have other things to do outside of what I do here.”

"I don't care that you have stuff to do outside camp, I just need to know you're not out there waiting for help that wouldn't come ."

“I’m pretty sure that would be in some prophecy somewhere. I’m pretty important.” He points out.

"It might be, it might not be. You're not impenetrable . If anything, you've got a bigger target on your head." I cross my arms over my chest.

“I know I do. I always have.” He mumbles dismissively.

"Then maybe you should let someone , literally anyone , know where you are?!"

“Why?” 

I groan, reaching up to rub my temples, this is giving me a headache, my gods. "So that you don't fucking die ."

“ Oh well .” He pulls the blanket over his head. “I wouldn’t yell at you just for being gone for a few days.”

"You were gone for a week , no one could contact you , we had no idea where you were . I'd sure fucking hope if I did that, that you'd be pissed."

“Don’t use that kind of language with me.” He pushes the blanket off of himself and sits up again.

I watch him, before shaking my head. "You're not listening to me. You're not even trying to listen to me!"

“Why should I?!” He snaps, “I’m tired . You have no idea what I just came from or what’s going on with me…!”

"If only there was a way I could find that out.” Like if I touched him, “Like you talking to me ."

Communication is his issue. I always assumed that it would be with us.

“I’ve been fighting off shit you can’t even imagine. I don’t need to talk to you about it, even if you think I do.”

" Fine . Glad you're back and not dead." I grumble, "I'd like to know next time, not that you care to tell me, or that you’d ever care to listen to a single thing I say.”

“Maybe it would just be easier for you if you’d stop worrying all the time.”

Right. As if I'm going to quit worrying about the person I love 24-7. He really doesn't think that we need open communication? Fine . So be it, I don’t need to talk about anything with him, I’ll talk to someone else.

So I laugh at him, because that’s one of the stupidest things he’s ever said. " Whatever . That's not how it works." 

“ Says you. ” He gestures at me, poking out from under his blanket again. It would be cute if I wasn’t seething right now.

"You can't control that sort of thing. I'd have found a way by now if you could. It's just what loving and caring for a person does to you."

“Don’t love and care for me, then?”

I have to stop myself from laughing again. He's being ridiculous. I knew there would be pushback, but not this much .

"I can't do that either. I wouldn't do that even if I could, because I don’t suck .” I say.

“It’s not because you love and care about me. I love and care about you too, but again, I wouldn’t get mad about this if it were you who was missing . As long as you came back, fine , it’s good.”

"You really wouldn't care?" I narrow my eyes at him. He doesn’t mean that. He can’t, right?

That would mean he doesn’t care if I’m alive or dead, does he realize what he’s saying right now? He doesn’t care where I go, or who I’m with, if I’m hurt… does he even love me?!

“It wouldn’t matter…!” He insists, starting to sound really irritated, “Let me sleep, you idiot.”

"Okay, fine. Go back to bed , I'll talk to you later or something." I decide, spinning on my heels and walking away and to the door.

I hardly hear him as I get to the door. “Yeah, fuck off.” 

I walk out the door and slam it behind me, stalking off toward my cabin to get my prism and some drachmas. I’ll Iris message Hazel and go talk to Chiron again, since I told him Nico was missing in the first place. He didn't really seem like he cared, though, he just said that Nico does this all the time , as if that matters. At least Hazel validated me by also being scared and worried for his life. 

I'll give him some space, if he's going to be like that. There's no reason for me to make him mad, if me being around him is so difficult . If he wants to be like this, I’ll just need to prove him wrong. He’ll realize that he was wrong soon enough, then. 

End

Chapter Text

Chapter 2-

Nico's P.O.V.

-Wednesday-

I shadow-travel into the Apollo cabin, wincing. My hands and knees are all busted up. I’m never going out on my own again. I’m so stupid . 

“Will!” I call out, bracing myself with my sword even though my hands hurt. I need to stay upright somehow. Apparently, I can’t do that.

"Woah, are you okay?" Kayla comes over. Not Will .

“I need a medic.” I explain simply. 

“I can help you!” Chante says, jumping out of her bed and rushing over too. 

“ NO !” I snap at her, glaring, and she stops moving immediately, “ You stay back. I need Will.”

"Um, Will isn't here, Nico. He left yesterday morning...?" Kayla tells me.

“ Left ?! To go where?!” He didn’t tell me he had anywhere he needed to be.

"I'm not sure, I think maybe his mom's...?" She blinks. "He just left me in charge."

“ His mom’s! ? Did something happen?”

She shrugs. "I'm not sure, he didn't seem to be in a particular rush... hey Austin? Did Will tell you why he left?"

“No.” Austin says, not moving from where he is. 

“He said he was going because she’s in New York anyway.” Chante says, “…his mom has a show tonight.”

I’m fuming. How could he do this?! We haven’t talked since our argument, but, still… What if I really needed him?

"Why don't you just let one of us help you out? That looks like it hurts." Kayla says.

“No, stay back…” I say again.

"Okay, okay . I won't make you. I just don't know exactly where Will is, so I can't help you there." She says calmly.

“I need to know exactly where he is.”

"I don't know. Just wherever his mom is staying in New York. Chante, did you know...?" Kayla tries, looking over at her instead.

“I know where she’s performing.” She says hesitantly.

"There you go. That's the best we can do for you."  Kayla tells me.

“Tell me!” I demand. 

“You’re going to shadow-travel there! You’re too tired. You can’t do that. Even I know that.” Chante says.

"If he shadow-travels there without knowing, it'll be worse." Kayla tells her.

“I am going either way, you can either help or make things harder!” I agree. 

Chante takes a step back away from me. “Okay, fine!” She manages, her eyes going wide. She tells me where to go, and I don’t waste another second before shadow-traveling myself there. 

As expected, I collapse immediately. “ Will !” I call out again. 

The acoustic guitar and the woman singing comes to an abrupt stop. I don’t have time to say or do anything else, losing consciousness.

…

I wake up to my lovely boyfriend’s face, glaring down at me like he’s going to kill me. He’s simultaneously wrapping my hands in gauze and giving me that death stare. 

I blink up at him. Fuck… I’m completely exhausted. It sure is a good thing I could find him even though he left me .

"Good, you're awake. I need you to follow my finger with your eyes." He says flatly, before moving his hand up and waving his finger back and forth. "I don't think you hit your head, but I need to check."

“Uhh, what ?” I say.

"Follow my finger with your eyes." He says, moving it back and forth slowly.

I don’t, just glaring back at him. “Why did you…leave me?”

He sighs exasperatedly, putting his hand down and going back to fixing me up. "You said that you wouldn't care if I just left ." He reminds me. I don’t remember saying that to him, that sounds really mean.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t, as long as I didn’t need a medic .”

"...You do realize I'm not the only healer at camp, right?"

“You might as well be! With how useless the rest of them are…those idiots.”

"Hey, those idiots are my siblings. They know about as much as I do." He scolds me.

“No, you’re the head healer , moron.”

He rolls his eyes. "Do you want me to help or not?"

“… Yes please .” I huff. Of course I do, that’s why I’m here.

"Okay. For something like this, they could have helped you. Chante has been doing an awesome job for us." He tells me. "What happened, anyway? Were you running from something?"

“I fell.” I say vaguely, “On rocks.”

"I see that, your knees are pretty messed up. How did you fall?" He asks in his serious doctor voice .

“ …Iwasn’tusingmycrutches .”

"..." He pushes his hair back and taps his ear. "Don't have my hearing aids on, I forgot to charge the batteries."

“Hah, then you can’t complain about what I did.” I decide, as if those are similar. If he doesn’t know, then he won’t scold me, but I did tell him.

"....Did you not use your crutches when you should have?" He realizes.

“I haven’t been all week.”

He sighs. "This is the perfect example of why you should. I'm not in harm's way if I forget to charge my batteries."

“You are if you can’t fucking hear.”

"I can as long as you're not mumbling or talking too fast. Besides, I'm not in danger here." He shakes his head. "They've only got a few more hours they need to be on there anyway."

“ I. Don’t. Want. To. Have. To. Over-enunciate. Everything .”

He glares at me again. "Wasn't exactly expecting you here either. I thought you didn't care."

“I care because I’m hurt.”

"Right. Good to know you care about m e." He shakes his head. "Once you're rested enough, you can o. I've got you bandaged up."

“I shouldn’t be out here. I’m going to attract monsters to you.” I acknowledge, trying to reason with him. I should just go.

"I'm sure you'd be alright, but it's completely understandable if you feel that way." He says, backing up.

“I don’t think you realize how often I get attacked as soon as I go out.” 

It’s ironic that I got hurt by accident, on my own today. That doesn’t usually happen, and if it does, I can manage it on my own, no problem.

"Probably every time?"

“ Every time .” I confirm, “Both of us here together? Dangerous . Very dangerous .”

"Okay. I'm sure you'll be alright for a minute."

“We’re going to die.” I tell him.

He widens his eyes, less angry and more concerned now. "...Do you really think so?"

“I can’t fight right now. You’re stupid and helpless .”

"I'm not fully helpless. Again, as soon as you're up for it, you can head back." He softens a bit. "It's okay."

I take a deep breath, like he does when he’s anxious. Am I anxious? Or just hurt , tired , and fully aware of how dangerous simply existing is for me …?

“I don’t think I will be for a long while, but you can put me somewhere else so you’re safe, at least.”

"I'm not going to do that." He shakes his head. "Try to relax, I do think we'll be alright, I'm not just saying that."

“I’m sorry.”

"In general, or...?"

“Yes!? Or… For this .”

What else do I have to be sorry for? Is he trying to tell me something? Do I generally have to be sorry for existing to him, too?

He pauses, thinking about it as he stares at the ground, before actually responding. "I'm sorry I got petty and left."

“Yeah, you were really acting like a girl there.” I nod once. 

He glares up at me again. He’s a fireball today. "You can't say stuff like that."

“Why not?”

"It's derogatory toward women to say that someone is acting like on e just because you're seeing someone as too emotional or petty ."

“Fine. You were acting like a child of Aphrodite .” Girl or guy, most of them are like that. 

He snorts, looking like he wants to laugh but he doesn't actually do it. "That's how you get zapped down by the goddess of love."

“She might as well zap me down anyway with how shit I am at love.”

"Oh, I wouldn't say you're shit at it . I overreacted, too. I was just so... worried about you before." He admits.

“I was worried about you…today.”

"You were?"

I glare back at him now. He can’t be serious. I wasn’t conscious enough to be fully worried, but I definitely had some level of concern before Chante told me where he was.

“Yes!? You weren’t where you were supposed to be. And you’re not like me. You don’t just disappear .”

"...I know. I needed a break anyway, mom was in town, it was perfect."

“A break from me?” I ask. That makes sense, but I know that is just the start of it. We won’t be together much longer if he needs breaks from me.

"A break from being so anxious I thought I was going to throw up ."

“What made you that anxious?”

"Not knowing if you were okay or not." He clarifies.

“…That made you scared sick ?” I question incredulously. I don’t know if I can believe that I worry him that much. He’s just a big baby.

"Yeah. I... really didn't even know if you were alive. I was terrified." He explains.

“I was…hurt. But alive.”

"How badly?" He starts looking me over again.

“Not as bad as this time. You were worried about me, because you weren’t with me, so you left me?”

"..." He sighs. "I didn't say it made sense. I...was hurt by what you said."

I curl up. “Because I’m a piece of shit.”

"No... You were upset too. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that, we just- We need to figure something out about this."

“Please don’t say you’re done with me.” I mutter.

He softens up his tone, "Honey, I'm not done with you. I just got upset. We can work through this, right?"

I look at him again. He seems worried now, not as mad as he was a minute ago. I’m not sure how he can switch up his demeanor so fast. It almost feels manipulative.

“…I think this is a me issue. I’m so sorry I’m like this. I don’t know if I’ll ever get better, and… Iloveyousomuch .”

He sits down beside me. He is so focused, it makes me feel heard, but I also know that the real reason he’s watching me so intently is so I can literally be heard . "It's okay, I love you too. I just... need to know that you'll try letting someone know when you leave camp, and a rough idea on when you'll be back. It doesn't need to be exact, I just need to know when to send out a search party, y'know?"

“I don’t want to be alone anymore.” I tell him shakily. 

I look around. He brought me to a different room, a small one without any people. Maybe a dressing room…or a big closet.

"You won't have to be ever again." He says firmly. "I love you, I do. I love you a lot and I hate fighting like this."

“Don’t…fight me then.”

"I don't try to. I just get mad sometimes." He sighs, watching me closely.

“Then maybe we just don’t fit together. It makes sense.”

“...! You think one fight determines that?”

“I think,” I pause, thinking it over, “I want you so bad. I want to be close to you and be with you forever, but I don’t want to hurt you or get in the way. I hate that I just show up and need you like this. I need you. You don’t need me. That’s why I’m sorry but I’ll also never understand why you were upset or why you worried.”

He’s silent for a moment, thinking over what I just said. “I think that… How nervous I was is proof of how much I need you. I’ve missed you since last Monday.”

“And then you left.”

“Because you said you didn’t care if I was around . I didn’t think you’d refuse medical care from the others in my cabin.” He tells me. I still don’t think I said that.

“I didn’t trust them. I wanted you, I needed you.” I say again.

“I should have been there. I just… Can you please let me know at least at what time I need to lead an army to come find you before you go for a long time? A day or two is whatever, I trust you.”

“I can’t imagine you leading an army.” I almost laugh at the mere image in my head when I think about that.

“I would if it was what I needed to do to come find you.” He says. “I was about to have Hazel lead me to the Underworld when we assumed that might be where you are. I was going to march right up to your father and demand him to bring you to me .”

“Hazel hasn’t been to the Underworld enough to help you with that…in that way…and she’s usually not supposed to interact with our father.” I tell him.

Don’t make her do that… He’s terrifying. She can’t handle it. 

“She said she'd lead me to the entrance. I’d have been on my own from there, probably.” 

I laugh. “You wouldn’t last a minute. You’d be too scared.”

He’s panicked every time we’ve had to fight anything, and he’s made it clear that I can’t raise the dead without him getting all scared . 

“I’d find a way.” He insists. “I’d go there and figure out how to not explode from panic for you.”

“For me? Romantic .” I try to mock him, but he just goes with it.

“I love you, I’d follow you to Tartarus and back… there’s more proof that we shouldn’t break up. One fight doesn’t mean I don’t love you and want you.”

“Never follow me into Tartarus, I would hate that for you. If you said you were going to, I would personally break up with you and lock you up.”

“...How often do you go to Tartarus…? Also please don’t break up with me and then kidnap me ?” He chuckles nervously.

“I’ve only been there once, for a day or so, and it was more than enough.”

“Then I shouldn’t actually need to follow you. But the point still stands.”

“If anyone would have to go twice, it would be me.” I shiver. I hope not.

I look at my hands, which are wrapped now. I remember losing my senses and collapsing. It’s hard not knowing how long I’m out when that happens, but I didn’t stay conscious for long, and I woke up to a lot of blood. I think I just panicked and overreacted. Just like Will did when I left.

I’m not even that hurt. Even if my skin feels like it’s on fire all across my hands and knees. I’ve experienced much, much worse and this is nothing .

“You won’t, I’m sure. I think you’ll be okay, really.” 

I mess with the bandaging. “I don’t want to be alone again.”

“...Do you want to stay for the concert, or would that be staying too long?” He offers.

“I don’t have any strength to leave yet, I’m sorry.” I tell him. I get it, he doesn’t want me here right now. I can at least stay out of his way, in whatever room this is.

“Don’t be, I don’t want you leaving when you’re too tired, we’re fine back here, Mom’s still rehearsing.” He says to me. 

“Really? I assumed it’s been, like, three days since I was last awake.” I joke. Feels like it, but simultaneously like I only slept for two seconds.

“It has, rehearsal is just crazy.” He grins. “... No , she’ll probably be done in about an hour.”

I must have got here right when she started, then. I hope I didn’t interrupt too much.

“I’ll stay in here, if that’s okay. I’ll go when I can, I’ll just make sure I go straight into my bed when I shadow-travel back. It’s not far.” I’ll sleep for a day or two, at this rate. I’m so frustrated and dead. 

“It’s okay, you don’t need to rush. I’ll be back to camp tomorrow, if you want me back.” He offers. 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” I say, already peeling off some of the bandages on my hand.

“Hey, leave those alone , your hands are ripped up pretty badly.” He tells me. I stop fidgeting and he starts fixing what I did. “Maybe coming back tomorrow would be nice. I didn’t want to go on the road with her much anyway. If I went with her, I would have had to get a bus back from anywhere we ended up, so it wouldn’t have been that ideal anyway. I wasn’t planning on going out of New York unless… well , unless I hadn’t heard from you.”

I sigh deeply, trying to hold still now. It’s almost impossible to. “You assumed I would contact you then?”

“I was hoping you would. A big part of me was scared that you wouldn’t.”

“Here I am.” I mumble. Still a mess, still unable to figure this out. He sounds ready to forget about it all though.

“I’m glad.” He sighs, before just leaning back and laying on the floor beside me. 

"You sure?"

"I am. I was a little annoyed at first, but I'm just glad you're okay, ultimately."

“Gods. Punch me next time.” I’m so irritating. 

" I'd rather die ." He says. "You can relax here, we’re safe for now." He must be saying this because I’m not relaxed at all.

“I’m serious, Will…” I mutter, “…I can tell you’re still mad.”

"It's lingering a little. It's not like I don't want you around."

“How many times do I have to say sorry ?” I ask worriedly, tears filling my eyes. I don’t know if it’s because of how tired I am, how much my whole body hurts, or if it’s just how he’s talking to me. It’s like I’m a little kid. “I’m sorry. I don’t think you’re too sensitive.” I try lying to him instead.

" I am too sensitive . I know you're sorry." He says, sounding worried as he sits back up, watching me closely.

“ What ?!” I ask sharply. I might punch him.

"I forgive you, is what I meant." He says gently. "It's okay because we'll go back to camp and it'll be how it was. You can just let me know when you know you'll be leaving."

I try to ignore that. “You’re coming back right after this?”

"Yes. I'll catch a taxi home in the morning and be back by lunch. If that works okay...?"

“Is it too much trouble if I stay with you and we go back together?” I ask, softening up as much as physically possible for me. I don’t want to seem like a threat or a bother when it comes to this. 

"That's not a problem. My mom did say she wanted to at least say hello to you before you left." He tells me. "We could always hang out in the bus if the concert is not your scene, too.”

“ Bah , fuck. Okay. I’ll stay here. Just…come back for me.”

"I'll come back. I can stay for a while now, too." He offers.

“No, you don’t need to. You can…get out.” I’m going to cry anyway. He shouldn’t see me like that.

"Are you sure?" He asks hesitantly.

“Or…if there’s chairs out there, I can get out too.”

"There are, if you wanted to hear a little bit of the concert before anyone's here, we could go listen." He offers.

I hold my breath for a moment, watching him. He wants me to stay nearby him…? That’s so dangerous. “...I’m going to be completely honest with you, I probably won’t like it. But sure, I’ll do that for you.”

He gets up. “As long as it won’t be a problem for you.”

“It shouldn’t be. Help?” I hold a hand out to him, but I’m not sure if that would work. Him grabbing my hand would probably hurt.

“Here, I don’t want to hurt your hand.” He steps behind me and just picks me up under my arms, lifting me to my feet in front of him.

“ Strong man .” I praise him. It surprises me every time, when he picks me up. 

“Thank you, I try .” He chuckles. 

“You do?” 

Does he work out? I guess he does, at least a little, because he has to stay strong to do all the things he does. 

I remember he has to carry dead and heavily wounded people off of battlefields semi-often and it pretty much shuts me up. Carrying sick people is a major part of his job. I’m nothing compared to some of the people he’s dragged around.

“I do. I have to be strong enough to carry people around if need be.” He reminds me. 

“I just thought about that, sorry. I guess it works out that we’re together still, and you’re willing to do that for me. Thanks.”

Again, I need him. Mentally and physically and emotionally, in every way, I’m desperate to keep him close to me. I’d go insane, metaphorically losing my shit.

“It’s no problem. We’ll work through this like we do everything else.” He tells me. “...do you need someone to lean on? How steady are you?”

“It’s like my whole body is broken.” I answer, “So yes.”

He loops an arm around my waist. “I’ll help you to your seat, then.”

“Thanks.” I tell him.

I need to show him, eventually, how grateful I am for him. I need a big grand gesture, something to apologize and let him know I love him and I need him.

I’ll start thinking of things later.

End