Archive of Our Own ^beta

When Riley looks up, a sheepish grin and face flushed with embarrassment, she expects to see Sean grinning behind his camera, teasing and a little shit but in an endearing way, charismatic in a way that riles her up but is also what made her fall for him.

Instead, his face is ashen, eyes wide and distant, as if he’s petrified.

“Sean?” she says, dread pooling in her gut. “Are you okay?”

The camera slips from Sean’s hands and the lens shatters as it hits the floor.

She’s halfway bent, too late to catch it, and she looks up, expecting Sean to be devastated, but he just stares at it, unreacting, like his mind is somewhere far away.

“Sean,” she repeats, taking a step towards him. “You’re scaring me. What’s wrong?” Her fingers barely brush his shoulder before he’s flinching back, his whole body jerking back and hitting the wall, his breath quickening. His eyes dart around, brow furrowed like he doesn’t understand what he’s seeing.

Riley battles between taking a step back or rushing to his side.

“Sean,” she repeats. “Just breathe. Come on. Follow me.”

She tries to guide him through a breathing exercise but it only makes it worse, Sean full on hyperventilating as he slides down the wall, hands in his hair as he pulls his knees to his chest. The only break from his hyperventilating is when he chokes out sobs in between, tears quickly falling down his cheeks.

Riley has no idea what could have possibly triggered this and she’s afraid to know. Quickly, she pulls out her phone and sends a text to Sean’s mom, stepdad and brother hoping one of them can do something. She buttons up her shirt and slowly approaches Sean who has grown even more hysterical pulling at his hair as he buries his face in his knees, trembling so hard that his whole body shakes.

She lowers to his side, sitting next to him, and murmuring as many reassurances as she can that he doesn’t seem to be comprehending.

Riley thanks whatever God up there that she doesn’t believe in that Sean’s mom comes in.

His mom looks as shocked as she is, but some sort of motherly instinct must kick in, because she dives down to her son and pulls him into her arms. His sobs only grow louder, nearing screams, and he clings to her, burying his face in her neck as he cries. 

Patty looks at her with scared questioning in her eyes and Riley shakes her head in response. No. She doesn’t know what’s wrong either. 

Riley doesn’t know how long it takes to settle Sean down. She just knows that’s it’s grueling and ripping her heart apart to see him like this. 

In the end, they aren’t able to do anything to calm Sean down. When his cries start to stutter out, his body goes limp in his mom’s hold, giving out in its exhaustion.

There’s a tense moment of silence where they both just stare at Sean, waiting to see if he’ll wake in distress once again.

Patty looks up at her, half concern and half burning rage. “What. Happened.”

Riley realizes that she thinks she’s the one who caused this. She doesn’t know. Maybe she did. “I— I don’t know.”

Her anger diminished slightly, brows furrowing just like how Sean’s do as she looks down at her son in her lap. “Tell me everything.”

Riley is hesitant at first. She and Sean’s mom are friendly. Friendly in the way that she’s dating her son and they’ve had some dinners and game nights together, but not in the divulging intimate details about their sex lives kind of way. 

Well. She doesn’t think you ever get to that point with a possible in-law.

“I had just got here. We kissed. I had started getting undressed. Sean was taking a picture of me. I looked away and when I looked back up he was… I don’t even know how to explain it. He was just… terrified. I don’t know what could’ve made him so scared. Just seconds before we were kissing and he was smiling and laughing and then—”

“If you touched my son—”

“I didn’t!” Riley cries, everything starting to hit her. “I would never touch Sean in any way he didn’t ask me. Enthusiastic consent. That’s what he always says and that’s what we always stick by. If there’s even a hint of one of us feeling uncomfortable we pause and we talk. So I don’t… unless someone else… and if someone else… I don’t know what… he didn’t tell me—”

Patty shushes her and she stops, takes a deep breath, and looks at her. 

“I believe you,” she says. Her eyes go back to Sean and she brushes his hair from his eyes. “Someone hurt my son. I don’t know who. I don’t know how. But when I find out…”

“Yeah,” Riley breathes. “Yeah.”

.-~*~-.

Riley and Sean’s mom are able to get him in his bed with their combined strength and he still doesn’t wake. Even asleep, his body is tense, occasionally twitching and his eyes are squeezed tight. 

Riley sits beside him, her fingers gently carding through his hair in the fruitless attempts to calm him. 

She and Patty have been quietly trading the meager amount of evidence they could think of to figure out what could have affected Sean this way. So far, they don’t have much.

Everything has been so… normal. Good, even. And so has he. 

Sean’s never been known to be much of a liar. He ruined his mom’s surprise party, his poker face is so bad. She can’t imagine him hiding something as big as whatever it is that hurt him.

They’ve conspired so long that they’ve somehow gotten onto the theory that because of his monetary struggles from pursuing his photography, he’s started selling his body. It’s then when Sean starts to stir awake.

She can tell he’s not fully there yet. He’s never been a fast waker. After a good, long night in bed together, the next morning it takes at least a half hour to get him coherent enough to say real words. 

Sean looks up at her and for a second, he’s just Sean. Her Sean. Normal, happy, okay Sean.

He smiles lazily at her, eyes shamelessly checking her out, head pushing deeper in the pillow as he looks at her.

And then the smile drops. His eyes are wide and he looks… confused. Confused and scared and Riley doesn’t know what to do if his cries start up again.

Patty must see her panic because she turns Sean’s head towards her. “Hi, a stór. You’re alright. You’re okay.”

Sean’s eyes dart between her and his mom, but his eyes still on her. “You’re here.”

“Of course I’m here,” Riley says. “I wouldn’t leave you.”

His breath hitches on a sob. 

Riley’s eyes go wide. Whatever she said was not the right thing to say.

“You’re here,” he repeats. “You’re okay. You’re… you’re okay.”

“Of course I’m okay,” she says, taking his hand in hers, pulling it up to press it against her heart. 

He pulls her in by her wrists and clutches her tight, hands clawing at her back like she’ll disappear if he lets go.

She just holds him back as best she can, rubbing soothing circles in his shoulder blades. 

His breathing finally evens out and she manages to pull back. 

He’s looking at her like he can’t believe she’s there, his eyes too sad and too broken.

“Hi,” she says, smiling at him though all she wants to do is cry.

“Hi,” he responds. His eyes go to the window and he freezes. “What time is it?”

Patty looks at her watch. “It’s almost 7.”

“I have to go to work.” He sits hurriedly and both her and his mom grab him gently by the shoulders.

“Maybe you should call out,” Patty says.

“No. No, I have to go to work,” he says, voice adamant but wavering. He pulls from their grasp and grabs his work jacket from the back of his chair before running out the door, slamming it behind him as he exits.

There’s a moment where they just sit there in silent shock before they realize what just happened and run after him.

Sean is already in his car, pulling out and speeding down the street. 

.-~*~-.

“Bro, did you hit a joint without me?”

Sean looks, well, fucked up.

His eyes are red, his face is flushed and puffy, and his sweaty hair sticks to his forehead, sticking in all directions like he just rolled out of bed.

“No,” Sean says, eyes scanning the area.

“Okay, yeah, that’s not reassuring at all,” Derek says, words drawing out. “Seriously, dude, where’ve you been? Nino was getting all up on my ass about you being a no show and I had to make you up an alibi. You owe me, by the way.”

“Sure,” Sean says, peering into the glass of the restaurant.

“Seriously, what’s up with you? Did you get a bad batch? You’re never this paranoid when you smoke. Please tell me you’re not greening out right now.”

“I didn’t. Smoke.”

Derek holds his hands up in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. You didn’t smoke.” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “You missed it, dude. Found the perfect mark. Couple with kids, nice car, nice ring. Would’ve hit them if I had you to watch the cars.”

Sean’s head snaps to look at him. “They’re already here?”

“Do you… know them?”

Sean shakes his head, over and over and over again so much that Derek is surprised he isn’t making himself dizzy. “It’s too soon. I’m not ready. I’m not ready.”

“Hey, man,” Derek says, patting Sean on the back to which he flinches hard at. “I can handle one night alone. Maybe you should go home. Call your girlfriend or something to help you through it.”

“No!” Sean says, his voice more harsh than Derek’s ever heard her be. “I have to… I have to.” He pauses. “No. What if— what if he came back too?”

“Who?” Derek asks.

Sean is seriously tweaking out and Derek’s starting to get legit concerned when an approaching car revs loudly and Sean suddenly stops. His face is blank, eyes more like a war vet than his best friend.  

Derek can only watch with morbid curiosity, unsure of what to say.

A white Maserati pulls up and Sean morphs into a bright smile. It’s honestly kinda terrifying how he’s just jumping between the different faces like he’s a different person.

A rich asshole exits the car, distracted on the phone, and stops when Sean hands him a valet ticket. The man looks him up and down, disinterested.

“It’s paddle-shift, so don’t go breaking the ears off thinking it’s your granny’s Vauxhall.” 

“Of course, sir,” Sean says.

“Anyone smokes anything near my car, we’ll have a problem. Try not to sweat. You look like you haven’t showered in months. And for God sake don’t park under any fucking trees, huh?” With that, he turns to enter the restaurant, continuing his conversation on the phone.

Derek watches as the facade slips and Sean lets out a shaky breath, his whole body beginning to shake. 

Derek is seriously considering the dude is ODing when Sean takes a steadying breath and gets into the car.

“Hey, man. Maybe I should—”

But Sean doesn’t let him finish. He closes the door, puts in the keys like he’s driven a million Masarati’s, and heads down the street quickly, but not too quickly that the car roars, gone before Derek can even ask “what the fuck?”

.-~*~-.

When the door opens, Katie waits with bated breath as she always does, awaiting her torturer.

So, when a young man she’s never seen before enters, she’s filled with petrification.

It’s not uncommon for Cale to have people over. It is uncommon for them to come see her.

“I’m not here to hurt you,” he says, walking to her with telegraphed steps. He holds something in his hand that she can’t make out in the darkly lit room.

As he approaches, she flinches back from him, whimpers muffled through her gag.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you, Katie.”

If anything, this does the opposite of calming her. He knows her name. He knows who she is.

She readies herself for a blow. For the pain and hurt she has become accustomed to since she was taken.

Instead, she feels the gag being pulled from her mouth nimbly. 

“Who are you?” she whispers. 

“A friend.”

“His friend?” she spits out with trepidation.

His face darkens. “No. He is not my friend.”

And she sees it. The cracks in him that leave him open and bare. This is someone as broken as her. This is someone broken just like her.

“He hurt you too,” she whispers.

“Yes,” he says gravely. “He did. So I’m going to hurt him back.” He is swift as he frees her from the leather trapping her to the chair. “Here’s what you’re going to do. There’s a room down the right of the hall. You’re going to grab the landline off the right bedside table and run. You’re going to call 911 and you’re going to sound as traumatized and terrified as you can. Tell them your name, your full name, and where you used to live. Then, you’re gonna tell them where you are.” He rattles off an address five times. Slowly and carefully so it gets imprinted in her brain. “Tell them that Cale Erendreich kidnapped you and he’s currently at Nino’s. Stay on the phone and keep running. Keep running until you can’t anymore. Keep them updated about where you are as you run. Landmarks, signs, whatever you can, so that they can catch up to you. And when they find you, don’t tell them about me. Say you didn’t see who saved you.”

“Why?” she asks. It’s the first thing she’s said since he began telling her his insane plan.

“I’m not supposed to be here,” is all he says.

“Will I ever see you again?” 

He smiles, a broken kind of smile. “I hope so.” He looks down at his phone. “Now go. He can’t know I’ve been here and you need to run.”

He’s gone before she can process he’s leaving. She runs through the plan in her mind. Phone. Call. Run. Address. Address, address, address. Run. RUN!

.-~*~-.

Sean’s not back and Derek is freaking the fuck out.

Best case scenario: Sean’s high off his fucking rockers and he just needs to sleep it off. Worst case scenario: … he doesn’t know what the worst case scenario is.

When he thinks he’s come up with the worst case scenario, he thinks of an even worse worst case scenario.

Those worst case scenarios suddenly turn into oh my God I’m going to jail case scenarios when the cops start surrounding the place.

One of the cops comes up to him and Derek has already resigned himself to playing it as cool as he can to avoid as much trouble as possible, when they all push past him and enter the restaurant. 

Derek watches with bafflement through the glass as they all surround a table of rich people, who shout and screech at their sudden arrival.

They swarm around the guy who Sean took the car of, cuffing his hands behind his back and pressing his face into the table. 

“It was so easy.”

Derek jumps at Sean’s voice. He turns to look at him and Sean just looks… tired.

“It was so easy. I should’ve done it like this the first time around but I… well. Most people don’t get a second chance, do they?” Sean smiles bitterly to himself, watching the man inside with a look Derek can only describe as murderous which is not a look he likes seeing on his best friend. “By the way. I’m done. I’m done with all of it. I’m not stealing a fucking piece of a gum after this.”

And Derek doesn’t argue because he knows that whatever made Sean like this is reason enough, even if he doesn’t know what it is. 

The police come out and Sean’s face morphs into a feigned curious shock, but Derek can see the hatred seeping out of him as they pass with the guy and shove him in the back of their cruiser.

They take their statements. Derek says what he knows. He saw the guy come in. Didn’t even talk to him.

Sean spins a tale that’s close to the truth. They’re valets. He took the guy’s car to the parking deck down the street. Got caught in some traffic because there’s some sort of show going on at the theatre down the block. Got back when they were already in there.

Derek knows that’s not where he was. For one, the parking deck is the opposite direction from where Sean went. Plus, even if he did go the right direction, it doesn’t take that long to get there and back. 

Sean doesn’t say anything, though. Just keeps up that smile and Derek’s starting to question if Sean’s more of a con man than he’s made him out to be. If Derek’s in deeper than he thought. 

It’s not until the cops are gone and Nino’s closed the restaurant for the night, giving everyone a discount for the trouble and letting the two of them off early, does he see the carefully crafted mask start to crumble.

They make it as far as Sean’s car, just barely getting into his beat up seats and closing the doors before he breaks down.

He’s never seen Sean cry like this. Yeah, sure, he gets blubbery when they’re high and watching a sad movie, but this is… this hurts to watch.

Sean isn’t just crying. He’s screaming and he’s hitting every available surface and himself and pulling at his hair and clawing at his skin and Derek has no fucking idea what to do. 

He goes to find Sean’s girl’s Facebook when he sees that he already has 47 messages in his messages from Sean’s girlfriend, mom, stepdad, and brother all along the lines of “is Sean with you?” and “is Sean okay?”

‘He’s with me,’ he responds to all four. ‘He’s not okay,” he says to his girlfriend and his mom. 

Derek manages to switch Sean to the passenger seat, though not easily with him fighting back, probably not fully aware he’s even doing it, and he drives to Sean’s parent’s place, doing everything he can to block out Sean’s cries and just not crash the car. 

When they arrive, everyone runs to the car, Sean’s mom pulling him into her chest that he almost collapses against, his cries finally petering out. Riley holds him from the other side, clutching him tight as she crumples against his back. 

“Thank you,” Don says. 

Derek doesn’t respond. He doesn’t feel like he deserves to. 

.-~*~-.

They’ve all crowded in the living room, Sean sitting in the middle of the couch between his mom and Riley, wrapped up in a blanket as he sits with his knees to his chest, staring blankly at the TV as he clicks through the channels with no particular rhythm.

He’s been near catatonic since he stopped crying, none of them able to get him to respond, and they’re not sure if it’s an improvement. 

Sean’s family have had plenty of time to speculate but Derek’s still got no fucking idea what’s going on. And apparently neither do they.

The first reaction they get from Sean after nearly an hour of still silence is when he gasps at the sight of a news cast. 

There’s a blonde woman covered in bruises and lacerations wrapped in a shock blanket. “I didn’t get a good look at their face,” she tells the camera. “It was dark and even then, my kidnapper kept me blindfolded most of the time. All I knew is that I heard someone come in and I thought it was him. But then I heard chains being broken and not like the way he would when he was taking them off. It sounded like bolt cutters. And then they got me out of the leather bounds and took off the gag. By the time I took the blindfold off, they were gone. I don’t know who they were, how they found me, or why they saved me, but they did. That’s when I went to find a phone and I called the police.”

“Are you afraid that this person was an accomplice with your captor? That they might come after you next?”

She shakes her head with a smile. “No. I’m not.”

And Sean smiles back at her. 

It’s the first real smile Derek’s seen from him all day and he knows he’s not the only one who’s relieved. 

Derek is sure everyone has the same question as him: who is she and how does she know Sean?

In Sean’s moment of clarity, his mom’s able to get him to sip on two cups of water which makes them feel slightly better that he’s at least not going to pass out again with dehydration.

“Sean?” Patty says softly.

His eyes drift to look at her, too empty, too heavy.

She telegraphs her movements and pushes his hair from his eyes. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m tired,” Sean whispers, and the words mean so much more than just a lack of sleep. It’s the bone deep kind of exhaustion and Derek is wondering if he had a part in it.

“Alright,” she says. “How about we get you to bed?”

“Stay?” Sean says, eyes glued to Riley.

“Of course,” Riley says, smiling sadly.

He holds his hand out and she takes it, squeezing gently before following Sean and his mom. 

.-~*~-.

Sean wakes up three times in the night.

Once in a cold sweat, hyperventilating and shivering.

Another time, screaming until his throat is raw and startling Riley awake.

And the third time, he was silent. Riley hadn’t even realized he had woken up again until her own insomnia pried her eyes open and she saw Sean staring right back at her. 

It’s the first time in this crazy day that she’s able to look at Sean, really look at him, and it rips her heart apart that she’s somehow missed how much pain he’s been in.

Why didn’t he tell her? And what is it that he hasn’t told her?

All day, she’s been reevaluating every recent moment she’s had with him and she can’t remember any sign that he had been feeling this way.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks, voice soft and so achingly him. He traces his thumb gently against her cheek bone.

“You,” she says honestly.

“I don’t like it when you worry about me.”

A harsh half sob, half laugh pushes out of her throat. “I’m always going to worry about you, Sean.”

“You didn’t before.”

“I didn’t know I had to before.”

His eyes go glassy, lips pulling down into a frown. “There was nothing to worry about before.”

She bites back the remark that nearly spills out. “Well, there is now, and I know now, so… so let me in, Sean. Let me help you. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

“I’m not alone.”

She nods, cupping his face in her hands. “No, you’re not. You’ve got me and your family and Derek. I know I wasn’t the biggest fan of him, but he really cares about you.”

Tears begin to pool in his eyes, but he must be too cried out for them to fall. “Derek’s my best friend. I don’t want to live without him.”

“And you won’t,” she says. “He’s not going anywhere either. You haven’t scared him away yet, though I know he wants to talk to you himself.”

He sighs. “Yeah. I guess he would.”

“We’re not just worried, Sean. We’re scared.” His face falls, and she says quickly, “For you, not of you. Whatever happened, it’s really shaken you up. We understand if you can’t talk about it yet, but even if you can’t tell us what it is, just… can you at least tell us how to help you?”

“I don’t know,” he says, the admission barely audible. 

She takes his hand in hers and laces their fingers together. “Then we’ll figure it out together, okay?”

Sean nods. “Okay.”

She nods back. “Okay.” She presses a kiss to his forehead. “Now let’s try to get a little rest.” She pulls his ear to her chest and he lets out a sigh of relief at the sound of her heartbeat. She rubs circles into his shoulder blades. “You’re gonna be okay, Sean.”

.-~*~-.

When Sean comes down for breakfast the next morning, they’re not sure what to expect. 

Sean’s mom was tossing and turning all night, barely holding back the urge to sit by his bedside. Don was conflicted too and a little guilty, worried that his strictness is what kept Sean from opening up to them. Even Rowan was worried. Sean had always been unmovable, rolling with the punches and always coming out unscathed, so to know that something could affect him this much fought against everything he knew about his brother. 

So, when Sean enters, the three of them eating in a tense silence, and he looks not quite rested and not at all like himself, but more stable than he had been, they all let out the breaths they had been holding.

“Morning, Sean,” Don says, breaking the silence.

“G’morning, Dad.” Sean sits down, mulling over the meager spread that sits in the center of sausage, scrambled eggs, and toast. He doesn’t notice as the entire table goes completely still, staring at him with bewilderment. 

Patty clears her throat. “Would you like something to drink? Coffee? Juice?”

A small smile tugs at his lips. “Juice would be nice, thank you.”

“Of course,” she says, going to grab some from the fridge.

Sean scoops some eggs on his plate and grabs two pieces of bread. 

“Not feeling sausage today?” Don asks. “It’s the kind you like. With the fancy breadcrumbs.” 

“Rusk,” Sean corrects absentmindedly. “No, I… I don’t really feel like eating any meat right now.”

Another silence falls over them, implications that they’re not sure they want to explore.

“Heavy on the stomach ‘s all,” Sean says.

“Right,” Don says. “More for us then. Or… or we can save you some for later?”

“You don’t have to,” Sean says. When Sean sees that Don is going to protest, he just shakes his head. “Really. You don’t have to.”

Don nods. “Alright.” He doesn’t go to grab the last sausage, though. It seems everyone but Sean has lost their appetites.

Patty returns to the table with a glass. 

“Thanks, mom,” he says with another smile that makes just a little more tension leave her body.

“So,” Patty says, carefully choosing her words. “What are you planning on doing today?”

Don shoots her look across the table and she shrugs helplessly.

“I don’t know,” he says. “It’s different now. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

What’s different, he doesn’t say.

“Well,” she continues, “Derek said Nino doesn’t need you two tonight—”

Sean shoots up, panic in his eyes. “Nino’s replacing us—”

“No!” she says quickly. “No, no. Nino’s not replacing you. The restaurant is just closed for the day. Even though there were no crimes committed there, the police still want to sweep it for evidence.”

“Always looking in the wrong places,” Sean mutters.

She frowns. “I know you’re protective of Nino, but I’m sure it’ll be alright.”

“They won’t find anything there.”

“I believe you,” she says, holding her hands out placatingly. 

Sean slumps in his chair, nodding to himself. “Right. Yeah. Sorry.”

“No need to be sorry,” she says. 

When his eyes meet hers again, they’re filled with so much grief and guilt it nearly chokes her. There’s something he wants to say, but he holds it back. 

“I wanted to stay in today, if that’s alright.”

“Of course it’s alright,” she says. 

“I mean… in here. With you.”

They all pause.

“Right, of course. That’s no problem at all. It’s the weekend! Weekend are meant to lounge around at home together.”

She says as if that’s something they do often. The older Sean’s gotten, the more rare it’s been to have all four of them together. His disagreements with Don tended to push him away. 

“How’s that sound, Rowan?” she says, turning to her youngest.

“Yeah,” Rowan says. “Yeah. All I was gonna do today was grind XP.”

“I can help?” Sean says. “If… if that’s something you can help with.”

Video games were never Sean’s thing, too absorbed in his photography to care much about anything virtual. ‘The real world’s so much more fascinating than any of those shoddy recreations,’ Sean had once said. Rowan had blew him off, saying that the graphics weren’t the part that people cared about.

Though, now that Rowan thinks about it, he’s not really sure what he cared so much about that he didn’t try to understand what Sean saw in the world. 

He doesn’t know what he cared so much about that made him not care about his brother enough. 

“Yeah,” Rowan says. “We can do story missions. Not a lot of PVP.”

“That’s the stuff I’m bad at?”

Rowan chuckles. “Yeah. That’s the stuff you suck at.” Rowan’s worried that he crossed a line but Sean just laughs. “I can… bring my console in here?” Rowan says, looking at his mom.

She knows how much that means for him to offer, the boy usually holed up in his room more often than not. “That would be nice. I’ve got some cleaning up to do.”

“And I’ve got bills,” Don says, though he doesn’t mention that they’re not due anytime soon, he just wants an excuse to sit at the table near the rest of his family.

And so that’s what they do for their afternoon. 

Sean and Rowan on the couch playing video games, Patty tidying around the house while keeping her sons in sight, and Don sitting at the head of the table, facing the family room, unable to focus on the numbers he sorts through.

There’s a knock on the door and Don takes the opportunity to pull himself away and get a little closer to his sons.

Sean looks content. Exhausted and too sad but content, glancing over at his little brother often, unaware that he’s doing the same. 

When Don answers the door, he’s not surprised to see Derek. If anything, he’s surprised it’s taken him this long to come.

There’s a faint scent of weed on his clothes, but he doesn’t look high. Well, if that’s what he had to do to cope with what happened last night, then he understands. 

“Hey,” Derek says. “Is Sean—”

“Derek!” Sean says, setting his remote down and standing up abruptly, staring at Derek like he’s seen a ghost.

“Hey, man,” Derek says. “I just wanted to… check in on you. Hey, can we talk?” He glances warily at Sean’s family. “Alone?”

Don’s brows raise, looking at Sean, ready to intervene.

“Yeah,” Sean says, swallowing thickly, eyes glued to his friend. “Let’s go up to—”

“Yeah.”

.-~*~-.

Sean closes the door behind the two of them. His bed is made, but the sheets are creased with crinkles.

“Are you okay?” Derek asks, words tumbling out before he can stop them.

Sean smiles, bitter and sad. “No.”

“What happened, man? One second you show up lookin’ like shit and then you steal some rich dude’s car and then that rich dude gets arrested and then you fuckin’ lose it? You gotta be honest with me, dude. What did you get into? Am I— you know I won’t make it in jail. So just, tell me so we can fix this and—”

“It’s been fixed,” Sean cuts him off. “He… it was just him.”

“And who is he? Because I was up watching news reports on this dude and he’s a fuckin’ serial kidnapping murderer, bro. He had some secret murder cabin in the woods and had a whole ass torture chamber in his mansion.”

“He actually had two,” Sean corrects quietly.

Derek just stares. “How did you know this dude, Sean?”

“He… I hit his house,” Sean says. As soon as the words are out, the rest of the confession tumbles out after. “And I found that woman. And she was… she was gagged and chained up and strapped to this chair with leather and she was… she was fucking terrified. I went to get help but he found out I knew about her and he…” He stops, the words slightly stilted. “He threatened my family. He was going to make them lose their jobs. He was going to leak Riley’s nudes and then beat her to a bloody pulp. He was…” He chokes up. “He was gonna kill you, Derek.”

Derek sucks in a sharp breath. 

“But he didn’t,” Sean says. “I didn’t let him. Not this tim— not… I couldn’t. So, I went back to his house and I got that woman out.”

“Why would you— he saw you. He gave you his keys. He must’ve known you would’ve— Sean, he could’ve killed you.”

“No,” Sean says. “He likes to play with you before he kills you. And I… I won.” Sean smiles. “And he lost.”

The words settle heavily between them. 

“What did he do to you, Sean?” Derek breathes.

Sean keeps smiling. “He broke me.” A sob breaks his words. “He broke me. And maybe I won, but I also lost.” Sean takes a breath, eyes closing and a single tear falling down his cheek that he hastily wipes away with his sleeve. “But it’s over now. I… I just want it to be over. But it’s not. It never will be.”

“They arrested him,” Derek says.

“And you know better than anyone how that doesn’t keep people in.”

Derek doesn’t say anything because he knows he’s right. 

“I’m never going to be safe if he’s still out there. None of you are.” Sean meets Derek’s eyes and Derek tries to recognize the eyes that bear into his. “I missed you, Derek.”

“I’m right here,” Derek says. “I always have been.”

“I promise,” Sean says. “I never meant to put you in danger.”

“I put myself in enough danger,” Derek says. “Don’t take all the credit.”

Sean laughs. “I meant it. I’m done.”

“Yeah,” Derek says. “I can see why. Fuck, I think I’m done too. Murder cabin, dude. Murder cabin and torture chamber.”

“Two,” Sean corrects again.

“Two, fuck. And you know that. Fuck, man, did this dude torture you?”

Sean’s lack of a response is response enough.

“Dude. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I couldn’t.”

Derek has a lot of guesses as to why but that doesn’t make him feel better about it. 

“Are you gonna tell them?” His family, his girlfriend, the police, he’s not sure he knows who he means.

“Eventually,” Sean says. “I don’t know if I’m ready.”

“They won’t judge you. “Sean raises a brow and Derek amends, “They won’t judge you for being targeted by a literal torture murder kidnapper.”

“They’ll want to know why and I don’t exactly want to tell them about what we’ve been doing.”

“They might want to know why but you don’t have to tell them. Do you seriously think they’re gonna hear the whole “I was tortured by a kidnapping murderer and they threatened to kill you” and they’re gonna be like “oh, please tell us the intimate details of how you met this dude?””

Sean stares at his hands in his lap. “No.”

“Yeah, no. Because they care about you. And they care enough to know that you’ll tell them what you can and they won’t push for more.”

“What if they want me to testify against him?” 

“Sean, I’m pretty sure they’ve got enough to get this guy put away. Once again. Murder cabin. Two torture chambers.”

“There’s also the giant grave filled with lye and the skeletons of his past victims.”

“...Please tell me you’re joking.”

Silence.

“Holy shit , Sean!”

Sean shrugs. 

“Sean… I say this as your best friend and also as someone who is so not fucking equipped to be your one man confidant. Tell someone about this. Your family, your girlfriend, a fucking therapist, I don’t care. But I don’t know how to help you and I really don’t think I can if I even want to. And it’s not because I don’t care about you, it’s just that I’m already my own kind of fucked up and you need someone who is not as fucked up as me to help you.”

“You really think I should tell them?”

“Dude… yes.”

.-~*~-.

They all stare at Sean, jaws dropped and tears in their eyes.

“Sean…” Riley gasps, hand falling from her mouth to grab his hand. 

Patty grips Don’s arm and his hands are in white knuckled fists, half considering going down to that holding cell to kill the bastard himself. Rowan just stares with horror and shock.

Riley pulls Sean into her embrace and he crumples against her, no tears or cries, just exhaustion making him collapse like a puppet cut from its strings. 

Patty kneels in front of Sean, taking his hands in hers. “My darling boy could’ve been taken from and I didn’t even know it.”

“I’m sorry,” Sean whispers

“Don’t be sorry,” Don says, taking a knee beside Patty, wrapping an arm around her. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“He was going to come after you. He was going to ruin your lives.”

“But he didn’t,” Don says. “And he won’t.”

“He’s still out there. He’s smart. He can get out—”

“He’s dead.”

Everyone’s heads snap to Rowan, who grips his phone.

“What?” Sean breathes.

“Socialite, Cale Erendreich, now confirmed to be Richard Kalkenberg, suspected of the kidnap and murder of women ranging from Phoenix, Memphis, and Denver, now found to have kidnapped Kathleen Hopgood, dead just 24 hours after his arrest,” Rowan reads.

“No,” Sean says. “No, he’s… he’s faking it. He tricked or— or they’re in on it. And now they’re not looking for him so he’s coming—”

“He was shot,” Rowan interrupts. “A lot.”

“What?”

“They don’t know who but there were eight rounds in his chest and five more in his head.” Rowan throws his phone on the ground and covers his face with his hands.

“He could’ve faked it— he… no… he—”

“Sean,” Riley says softly. “He’s dead.”

Sean looks at her with teary eyes. “He’s dead?” He sobs. “He’s dead. He’s dead!” As he devolves into his cries, his mom and Riley dive to hold him while Don goes to Rowan. 

“It’s over,” Sean repeats until the words are incomprehensible. 

Sean tells Riley to go home.

It’s the last thing she wants to do but it’s finals season and if she misses class, it’ll tank her grade. 

So, she relents and leaves, trusting Sean’s family to take care of him.

Patty offers to stay with him in the night but he reassures her that he’ll be okay. Patty knows that he hadn’t slept through the night but she also doesn’t want to take the choice from Sean. So, reluctantly, she pulls him in for one last hug and tells him that he can come to her at any time of the night or call her and she’ll come right to him.

.-~*~-.

Derek doesn’t understand.

Sean… Sean’s been through hell but he never thought he would…

He doesn’t know everything. Just that his mom couldn’t rest without checking on Sean again and found him bleeding out in his bathtub.

It was all bandaged up by the time Derek got there, but by the way it has stained the stark white, Derek knows it had to have been bad. 

His mom is a wreck, face splotchy and puffy from tears, just like how Sean’s gets. Don is stoic but Derek knows it’s because he has to be strong for his wife. Rowan has his knees tucked to his chest, staring blankly at Sean, unshed tears threatening to spill. Riley is just as distraught as Sean’s mom, though much louder, her cries muffled by her hands that cover her mouth. 

And Sean just lies there, the monitors beeping, his body too still.

Sean has always been a ball of energy, bouncing around or fidgeting. He’s not supposed to be this still. He’s not…

It’s been a long night turned morning. 

The first thing the doctors did was take him back, stitching him up and replenishing the blood he lost. 

It took a grueling hour before his family was able to see Sean.

They didn’t think to call Riley or Derek until they showed up to their place and they weren’t home.

Of course, the two came rushing to join them, desperate to see Sean. 

Riley, of course, didn’t handle it well. He’s not sure how she could, how she has at all.

And Derek… he doesn’t know how to feel. 

He always thought that Sean would go out with a bang. Maybe he’d get caught in an epic heist, car chase… no. That’s not what he thought. Because Derek always believed that Sean would get out. He could dream about chasing the high of a good hit with Sean, living on the edge, stealing and never getting caught. But he knew Sean would always be something more. 

Sean had a future. He had a passion, a girl, hope for something other than being stuck with Derek robbing houses for the rest of his life.

Derek always thought he would have to let Sean go, one way or another.

He just never expected it would be like this.

That Sean would take that decision away from him.

Sean finally wakes up and Derek doesn’t know what to make of his expression.

Is he disappointed he didn’t succeed? Is he afraid of how they’ll react? Is he mad? God, he has every right to be pissed. Pissed about the shit hand he was dealt and pissed that no one noticed and pissed that he had to get out of him by himself.

“I’m sorry,” Sean says, and Derek just wants to stop hearing him say it. 

They don’t ask him why. They all know why. There’s no question why and they can’t even argue that it doesn’t make sense. 

That doesn’t make it easier. 

With Sean awake, he’s asked a lot of questions, mostly by nurses and shrinks, and the more he answers, the more tired he looks.

There’s a frazzled nurse that comes into the room, brows pinched. “Excuse me, Mr. Falco. You have a visitor who isn’t on your list?”

“Who?” Sean asks.

“Katie.”

Sean’s face falls. “Let her in.”

Riley’s face is slightly betrayed. She doesn’t recognize the name and, though she hates to even think it, if Sean was able to lie about all of this, what else could he have lied about?

As Katie comes in, Riley quickly realizes that there’s a reason she doesn’t know her.

Katie is as bandaged as Sean, though the bruises that poke through her wraps tell enough. Her face is twisted with fury and pain and she rounds the side of Sean’s bed and slaps him hard.

His parents are immediately on their feet but Sean holds up a hand, stopping them in their tracks.

“How could you?” she seethes. 

“I’m so—”

“I don’t want to hear your apologies. I don’t want to hear whatever bullshit excuse you’re about to make. I don’t want to hear anything because nothing you say will make this better.” Tears start to pool in her eyes. “You can’t leave me. Do you hear me? You can’t fucking leave me. You are the only person on this godforsaken planet who understands what I’ve been through. You cannot leave me!”

“I don’t understand, though. He didn’t—”

“He didn’t, what? Chain you up and whip you like a horse? Didn’t gag you so no one could hear your screams? Didn’t take every bit of your innocence and steal it for himself? Yeah. He didn’t. Which means that if I have to live with it then you do too. I am living in spite. I am living because I can and because he tried to take that from me. So you don’t get to fucking kill yourself the second he’s gone. He’s gone, Sean! He’s fucking gone and you’re gonna take yourself out too? What does that do? What the fuck does that do except give him everything he wants? He tried to take everything from me. He tried to take everything from you! Don’t let him take your fucking life because he’s not fucking worth it.”

“I don’t know how.”

“Well neither do I. But you don’t see me wallowing in a little pity party, slitting my wrists in the bath like a fucking cliche statistic. I’m here. I’m alive. And I’m gonna have to live with this for the rest of my life and I will do everything I can to make you live with it too. You. Are not. Leaving. Me. Alone. I’m not gonna let you.” Her face crumples. “You can’t do that to me. You can’t leave me alone. I can’t do this alone. I can’t— you can’t—”

He pulls her into a hug, an odd angle as she’s half leaning over him, but it doesn’t seem like she cares. “I won’t. I’m sorry. I won’t try again. I won’t leave you.”

“I got out. I got out. We got out. Fuck. We got out.”

“We did. We fucking got out.”

.-~*~-.

Katie didn’t think much past letting Sean have it. 

He asks how she found him. She doesn’t tell him and he doesn’t ask again.

He awkwardly introduces her to his family and they all tiptoe around the whole “escaped from being kidnapped and tortured by the same guy that fucked up their son” thing. 

His girlfriend’s nice. Way too nice for him, from what she’s seen, but maybe that’s what he needs.

His family gives them privacy, figuring they need it, though it also looks like it tears them apart to leave him.

“What did he do to you?” Katie asks. “And don’t lie.”

“If I don’t lie, you won’t believe me.”

“And if you do lie, I won’t believe you either.”

They both glare at each other, but Sean relents first. 

“Are you going to call me crazy?”

“I think we’re both a little crazy at this point.”

“But this is crazy crazy. Like… I don’t even believe it kind of crazy.”

She pauses, searches his face and knows that whatever it is, even if it’s not true, he believes it.

“Spill.”

And he does. Tells her about a first meeting that never happened. About a crazy turn of events where he ruined Sean’s life and his family’s lives and his girlfriend’s life and ended his best friend’s life. Where he moved her to a cabin in the woods and kept her in a cage before holding her at gunpoint and dropping her in a giant grave filled with lye. Where they chased him through the woods after he beat Sean with a shovel and she got to have her own kind of justice. A different justice than one she had here with a pistol snagged from his favorite collection. 

Sean wasn’t lying. It sounds fucking crazy.

But you don’t get as fucked up as they do overnight. 

And there’s no evidence to prove that he had done any of this before. 

And there’s no way for Sean to know that she existed.

So, even though it sounds crazy, like she said, they’re both a little crazy.

Her life has been crazy since she was snagged by him. What’s a little more?

“They were gonna have a trial,” Katie says. “I was gonna have to testify against him.” Sean doesn’t reply, just looks at her, waits for her to continue. “I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t… I couldn’t live knowing that he could walk out there free.”

Sean meets her eye and he must see something in them. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. I should be thanking you.”

“I don’t want to be thanked.”

“Yeah, well, neither do I.”

And suddenly they’re laughing. Laughing and crying until it fucking hurts.

“God. This fucking sucked,” Katie says.

“Yeah. Yeah, it really has.”

“He sucks.”

“God, he sucks so much.”

“Even when he wasn’t torturing me, he was such a fucking creep.”

“The whole reason I tried to rob his house was because he was an asshole.”

“I can’t believe you stole his fucking car.”

“I know!”

“He has cameras everywhere. He’s obsessed with his surveillance. How did he not catch me?”

“I have no idea!”

And they laugh more. Laugh because it’s ridiculous and laugh because it hurts and laugh because it’s better than hurting.

“As much as it sucks for you… I’m glad you did. Because you found me.”

“I tried to go back for you—”

“You did. You literally did, Sean. I’m out because you came back for me.”

“But—”

“But nothing. Do not fucking apologize. Especially about something that happened in an alternate timeline I don’t remember living. All you’re doing is apologizing to the wrong person.” She grabs him by the shoulders. “You saved me. I think you need to start saving yourself now.” She nods her head to the door. “Looks like you’ve got a lot of people who care about you. I’ve just got parents who don’t give a fuck about me and only care about the TV spots I can cash in from my trauma and people who’ve seen my face and want to know my story.”

“It’s not that interesting of a story.”

She barks out a laugh. “It really isn’t. It honestly gets pretty boring after the third day of torture. Yours? Yours is an interesting story. They could make a movie about it or something.”

“It’d be a shit movie.”

“Probably. Because it’s a shit kind of life.”

The laugh once again before it fades out.

“You’re not alone, Katie. You’ve got me now. Fuck your family for not caring about you. Fuck the world who pretending to care. I care about you.” He smirks. “And it’s not just because of that trust fund.”

Her head tilts back with a groan. “Why does everyone have to bring that up? Katie Hopgood, trust fund baby. Like, do you have to introduce me like that before airing out all my shit? At least be like: Katie Hopgood, winner of her third grade spelling bee.”

“You won your third grade spelling bee?” Sean asks incredulously.

“Fuck no. But it’d be a better intro than trust fund kid.” Her face sombers. “You’re lucky. That you’re out of the spotlight. That no one knows about you.”

“Maybe you can join me in being a hermit. I could get a bunk bed.”

“Oh, I’m taking top bunk for sure.”

“I’m serious, though. If you want out of that house, away from the vultures, you’re welcome to stay with me.”

“Your family seems nice but I don’t know if they’re that nice.”

He scoffs with mock offense. “I’ll have you know that I have my own place.”

She raises a brow.

“...that is connected to my family’s property.”

She snorts. “You got hot water?”

“Doesn’t last that long but yeah.”

“Will we split on groceries?”

“I don’t know,” he says, tapping his chin. “With your distinguished trust fund palette, I’m not sure my wallet can handle it.” She smacks him. “But I can compromise.”

“Short showers, half off groceries, and living yards away from your parents? Sounds nice. Much better accommodations than my last place.”

And as they laugh, Katie can actually see a future now that she’s out. And maybe so does Sean.