Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Pepper opened her eyes with a gasp.

She pushed herself slowly up. She was laying on a couch, her legs elevated on a pillow and her belt loosened where it was normally cinched tight around her waist. She looked around. To her left, windows let in light. She could see out onto a stone patio, the ocean glistening in the sun just beyond it.

Tony’s Malibu mansion.

“Pep?” Tony’s voice caught her attention and she looked to her right to see Tony a few feet away, eyes wide with worry.

Emotion knotted in her throat. Tony.

“Tony?” the words came out a little raspier than planned. “Did I fall asleep?” her memories of before were vague, unclear. Doctor Strange had told her the immediate memories would return to her slowly. For now, all she remembered was Doctor Strange standing in front of her, expression desolate.

“Be careful, Mrs Stark.”

Pepper had laughed, though it was hardly funny. Unlike Tony, she had never needed that reminder. “I always am.”

Tony shook his head. “No, Pep. You collapsed. JARVIS called me up. You’ve been out for a few minutes. I called 911, they should be here soon.”

911. Tony had called 911. Pepper raised an eyebrow. “Is that what we do when we collapse?” she asked dryly. “I could have sworn we pretend it hadn’t happened and continue on with our lives.”

She slid her legs slowly off the couch. She pressed her hands to the edge of the couch and pushed up as she tried to stand.

Tony was there immediately, catching her when she swayed.

Pepper allowed herself to lean into him, swallowing back another bout of emotion. Tony. His hand was warm against her skin where his hand clasped her arm gently. She could feel the pressure of his other hand on the small of her back.

“No, that’s what I do,” Tony said. “You, Pepper Potts, are entirely too responsible for something like that.”

Pepper found herself smiling. “True.”

“All right, back on the couch,” Tony ordered. He helped her sit back down. His hands fluttered around her for a moment, before he withdrew. “All right, Miss Potts. How much have you been overworking?”

Pepper’s heart twisted. She hadn’t been Miss Potts in fifteen years. Had proudly carried the name of Stark.

“Unlike you, Mr. Stark. I take perfect care of myself.”

Tony raised an eyebrow at that. “Do remember that I just found you collapsed on the ground.”

Pepper shrugged. “It’s possible I forgot to eat breakfast this morning.”

Tony clicked his tongue in concern. “You shouldn’t do that Pepper. You work yourself too hard to be forgetting meals.”

Pepper’s lip twitched up in amusement. God, he was adorable when he was earnest. “It happens, Tony. Though, I could really use a glass of water.”

Tony jumped into action immediately, moving to the kitchen and grabbing a clean cup. He filled it with water from the refrigerator before bringing it back to her.

She sipped at it gratefully. Her mouth was parched, and the water was soothing against her throat.

Tony sat on the couch next to her, watching her carefully.

“Tony, I’m fine. Stop looking at me like I’m about to collapse.”

“Yeah, well, you did collapse. You were out for a good five minutes. I think I’m right to be concerned.”

Pepper leaned her weight against him, his warmth seeping through her thin blouse to warm her. He froze for a moment, but then slowly wrapped an arm around her waist.

She sipped at her water, before putting it down on the table just by the couch next to her blackberry.

They were silent for a few minutes before the doorbell rang. Tony pulled away from her, moving to the front door and opening it to show to EMTs just outside the door.

Pepper sighed at the sight.

Tony let them in.

Pepper sighed. Oh, this would be a pain. She used the distraction, though. She reached for her blackberry where it rested on the table next to the couch and surreptitiously picked it up. She pressed a button and glanced at the date quickly. September 28, 2009. They’d been off by just over a year. She had meant to arrive in 2008, when Tony had started his work as Iron Man.

Doctor Strange had warned her that the spell was imprecise, that there was no guarantee on the timing. That there was no guarantee she would arrive at all.

She’d thought it worth the risk.

It wasn’t as though she’d have survived long regardless. Death had been a certainty, in that distant future.

The EMTs came in quickly, pulling her from her thoughts. Pepper let them go through their questions, allowing them to check her blood pressure, take her blood sugar, and look her over for injury. She was unsurprised when they found nothing. “You may want to get checked out at the hos—”

Pepper interrupted. “No, thank you.”

“Pep, Pepper. You collapsed.” Tony’s brow furrowed with concern. “You should—”

“You, Tony Stark, are not allowed to talk,” Pepper informed him. “I have had to fight you tooth and nail to go to the doctors, and I’ve failed more often than I’ve succeeded. I’m sure that whatever happened was a one off. If it happens again, I’ll get myself checked out. As it is, I’m not concerned.”

Tony pursed his lips. “I don’t suppose you’ll let me pull the ‘I’m technically your boss’ card?” he asked.

Pepper snorted. “Absolutely not.” She turned to the EMTs. “Thank you, gentlemen.”

“Of course.” The lead EMT nodded his head at her and the two left.

Tony still didn’t look pleased. “I can take you to the hospital,” he said. “Really, Pep.”

“No, Tony.” She examined him. The furrow in his brow hadn’t disappeared. “But I would appreciate some food, if we have some.”

Tony jumped into motion, moving to the kitchen.

Pepper watched him. He was so… young.

She closed her eyes and tried to breathe through the emotions in her chest. God, he was so young. So alive.

It’d been 24 years since she’d been here. 25 years since Tony had declared himself Iron Man to the world. 10 years since Tony had died in that role, and Pepper had promised that they’d be all right.

It had been an easier promise to give than to keep. The world had fallen apart. For a decade they’d struggled along, but the hits came faster and harder and then they were facing the end of the world again. And there was no salvation. No one in 14 million shot. There was no hope.

Doctor Strange’s words echoed in her mind. Mrs. Stark, you understand… you understand that you do not have to do this. You will have to face it all again. And there is no guarantee that you will make it through all of it. That he will. That any of us will.”

Pepper had looked him in the eye. “Is there anyone better placed to do this than I am?” she asked. “You say that the world cannot fall to Thanos. That that was the first domino to fall. The beginning of the end.” If Thanos had not come, then Vision would not have died. If Vision hadn’t died, then Maximoff wouldn’t have weakened the threads of reality around their universe. If Maximoff hadn’t weakened those threads, the incursion would never have happened. If the incursion had never happened… well, the list went on. “You said that Tony… That Tony was our best bet when the time came to face Thanos. That if we’d won then… I was by his side for all those years.” She had closed her eyes, hiding the sting of tears. “I’ve lost everyone, Doctor Strange. My husband is dead, my daughter… The world is falling apart. I’m going to put it back together.”

The spell had hurt. It had felt like being ripped apart and sewn back together with a million rusty needles. It had made Extremis feel like nothing.

She supposed it wasn’t a surprise that she’d collapsed.

And now…

Pepper felt so young. She’d been nearing sixty when she’d been sent back, and now she was only 36, still very much in her prime.

Tony appeared back in front of her. Plate of food in hand. “Leftovers,” he admitted as he handed her the plate of Thai. “Give me a little longer and I can make you something fresh. But I thought we should get you started on real food sooner rather than later.”

Pepper took the plate. “Thank you, Tony.”

“Anything for you, Pepper.”

The words were so startlingly earnest. She looked away from Tony and down at the plate of pad thai. She settled the plate on her knees and took a careful bite. Tony sat next to her again. Hovering.

He’d never been very good when someone else was hurt.

Honestly, it served him right. He’d certainly put her through enough worry, even if she only considered what he’d been through to this point.

Of course at this point…

She remembered a future where Tony told her everything. Their marriage hadn’t been perfect. But, god, had they tried. Five years. They hadn’t been easy. In the aftermath of the snap, it was impossible for anything to be easy, but they had been good.

Tony now… Tony hadn’t learned to share his burdens. Hadn’t learned to let people care for him.

“Speaking of doctors,” Pepper said quietly. “Have you seen one?”

Tony froze. “Not sure why I’d see a doctor.” His tone was light and easy. If she didn’t know better, she might have believed it to be genuine nonchalance. He pulled away from her, standing up. “But, looks like you’re doing better. I should get back—”

“Tony.” She kept her voice quiet. “Please don’t walk away from me.”

Tony stopped. His shoulders went tight and stiff, and he didn’t turn back to look at her. But he stopped. Pepper’s heart twisted. There were a lot of things to say about Tony Stark. But he had never been the one to leave first. No, that particular honor had always gone to Pepper.

Though heavens knew that sometimes he’d pushed her to it.

Not this time, though. She was early enough in the timeline that Tony’s most palladium-inspired, self-destructive habits hadn’t come into play yet.

She wouldn’t let them work now, regardless, but she was grateful not to have to maneuver her way through them.

“Tony, look at me, please.”

Tony huffed. He turned towards her.

She was entirely unsurprised to see his ‘nothing’s wrong here’, expression on his face with a touch of ‘you’re overreacting’. “What’s up, Pep?”

She watched him for a long moment. She set her plate onto the table. Slowly, she stood, moving closer.

Tony stiffened a little further, but didn’t move back. Pepper brought her hands up to Tony’s shirt. He was wearing a button up shirt, the arc reactor glowed slightly beneath the dark blue fabric. He must have actually been to a meeting today, not that Pepper remembered. Yet. Doctor Strange had said that it would come back to her, eventually as she established herself in the timeline.

She brought her hands up to the top button and carefully unbuttoned it.

“Pep,” Tony tried half-heartedly. “Finally going after the boss. I thought that was beneath you.”

She ignored him, slowly unbuttoning the next button. She hesitated before the third, giving Tony every opportunity to tell her to stop.

Tony seemed to have given in to the inevitable, however.

The gray veins appeared after the third button. She swallowed roughly. She’d never actually seen it. Tony had been healing by the time she’d learned he’d ever been sick at all, and he hadn’t let her see the aftermath of it.

He’d never been very good about showing vulnerability.

The gray became more defined as she got further down. The skin around the arc reactor looked almost dead.

She wanted to be sick.

God, Tony.

She’d tried, over the years, to forget this period of their history. It’d been ugly. Tony’s recklessness, her own frustration, the sickening knowledge that she’d left him to die alone, even if she hadn’t known that at the time. They’d never truly spoken about it.

Maybe they should have.

She stopped unbuttoning the shirt as the arc reactor was exposed in its full glory. “Tony,” she said quietly. “Have you seen a doctor?”

Tony ran a hand over his face. “I did, actually. He ended the session by asking if I’d be interested in donating my body to science, once it was all over.” Tony’s smile was weak. “You know me and science, not even death is going to stop me from making life changing contributions.”

Pepper pursed her lips. “There are no options?”

Tony sighed. “None.” He examined her. “How did you know?”

Pepper shrugged. She didn’t have a good answer for that, not really. But she’d always been excellent at thinking on her feet. “You’ve been drinking chlorophyll.” That had started early. “I looked into it. It can be used to detox from heavy metals, though there are better options available.” But that would require working with a doctor. “And you’ll remember I replaced your reactor myself. I know just how invasive it is. I might not know what actually runs it, but I can make some educated guesses that it doesn’t mesh well with human biology.”

Tony frowned. “I admit, I didn’t think you’d put it together.”

Pepper laughed. She hadn’t. She hadn’t seen it at all. She’d take the advantage that time travel gave her, though. “Were you ever going to tell me?” she asked.

Tony looked away. She’d already known the answer. She wasn’t surprised that he’d known even this early that he would choose to die alone.

For a genius, he’d always been a little bit of an idiot.

“You’re all I have,” she said quietly. “That’s what I told you.” She still remembered it. That day in Tony’s lab when he’d asked her to go into his offices to find the information on Stane.

Tony’s smile was a little sad. “You deserve more. I should give you more vacation time. Make sure you take those weekends the way you’re supposed to. Maybe—”

“Tony,” Pepper interrupted. “We’re going to find a way to save you.”

“Pep, there is no way.”

She met his gaze firmly. “I refuse to believe that, Tony.” She shook her head, ignoring the slight lightheadedness that came with the movement. “No. I refuse to believe that.” She tilted her jaw defiantly. “And I refuse to let you believe it, either.”

Tony looked almost pitying.

When had he accepted that he was going to die? When had he given up?

Well, not on her watch. She wasn’t sure how she was going to help him discover Starkium, she hadn’t had enough time to think that through. God, there was so much she had to think through.

Tony sighed. “How about you sit back down and eat your pad thai. I’ll make you some more food, just in case. And we’ll talk about this once you’re feeling better.”

Pepper didn’t exactly want to drop the subject this soon, but she had just over half a year to save him, still. She’d take it.

She let Tony lead her back to the couch and hand her her plate.

She took a bite. She hummed at the taste, nutty with a sweet sauce coating the noodles.

Tony moved back to the kitchen, buttoning his shirt back up as he went.

She focused on her food, Tony banging around in the kitchen a comforting background noise.

There hadn’t been much time between the idea to send someone’s soul back in time, choosing her, and the actual spell. Pepper hadn’t been a fan of moving without a plan, but that had simply been the circumstances they had. Which meant she had to plan now.

A question loomed heavy in her mind. Should she tell Tony?

It was… not as easy an answer as she wanted it to be. Tony would believe her, she didn’t doubt that. It didn’t matter if it sounded entirely impossible, if Pepper said it was true, he’d believe her.

But…

She couldn’t tell him this early. That was almost too much time. Especially this Tony who had still been learning caution.

Memories of Ultron made her shiver. She hadn’t been around for the actual encounter, but she’d seen the aftermath, both on a global scale and on how it had affected Tony. They’d been broken up at the time. Had broken up shortly before Ultron and hadn’t gotten back together until after the poorly-named Civil War. But they’d still been friends.

No, Tony couldn’t know this early.

Was she betraying him, though? By not telling him? Especially when she fully planned to… to use him. To use him to save the world?

The thought left her uneasy. But Pepper… she’d always been practical. She’d learned to sideline her feelings to do what needed to be done.

And the thing was, Tony, her Tony, would understand.

She looked back up at Tony who was standing at the stove frowning down at the not-yet boiling pot of water he’d placed there.

She loved him.

She’d always love him.

He was her best friend. Maybe even her soulmate.

She’d been his widow for ten years, twice the length she’d been his wife. She’d raised their child, mostly alone. And god, Morgan had been beautiful and bright and vivacious. Losing her…

Pepper shook the thought away. No.

That…

That wasn’t.

She breathed, focused down on her food again, pulled her thoughts firmly back to the now and the choices she needed to make.

Tony.

Things were never going to be the same between them. Because Pepper couldn’t tell him. Not yet. And she… she couldn’t, just couldn’t, enter a relationship with him under false premises.

She closed her eyes. She didn’t know when the truth would come out. If it ever would. She didn’t know if she’d ever had what she’d once had.

The ache seemed to take up root in her bones.

James had once told her that she wore her grief well. It had felt almost taunting, then. Though she knew he hadn’t meant it that way.

But she could feel herself pulling the grief over her again, like a well-worn jacket.

First things first, she was going to save Tony’s life. Preferably sooner rather than later. She wasn’t going to wait until the final moment to step in. Not like SHIELD had.

Now, where were the plans for that ’74 Stark Industries Expo?

Pepper blinked in surprise at the woman sitting peacefully on her couch when she got home. She took her in carefully. Pale skin, ancient eyes, yellow robes. “You must be the Ancient One,” Pepper said. “Doctor Strange didn’t tell me much, but he mentioned you might make a visit.”

The Ancient One arched a single eyebrow. “I had wondered,” she said. “Who would be so bold as to mess with the strands of time. Somehow I find myself unsurprised. I can only hope he had a worthy reason for it.”

Pepper set her bag to the side, hung up her jacket, and slid her high heels off. Visitor or not, this was her home; she had no intention of being uncomfortable here. She moved to the living room and took a seat on the loveseat across from the Ancient One. She held in a groan of relief at getting off her feet.

“The universe has a very interesting few years ahead of it,” she said, focusing on the implied question. “Perhaps a little too interesting.”

The Ancient One watched her. “You are an unexpected choice, Miss Potts.”

“Most of the best choices were already dead,” Pepper acknowledged. “Some for quite some time, by that point. And Doctor Strange was unable to perform the spell on himself.” Wong might have been able to do it, but his death had been a catalyst for the choice they’d made.

There were certain expectations of the type of person who would travel back in time. Pepper was well aware that she didn’t fit those expectations.

“I see,” the Ancient One said. Her gaze was heavy as she took Pepper in. Pepper met her gaze evenly. “What is your goal, Miss Potts?”

Pepper let out a thoughtful hum. “I’m not here to save the world. That’s not the role I’m meant to play.” At least not in a more super heroic fashion. There were other ways to save the world, and she was far better equipped for those. “But Tony is. I’m going to help him get there.”

“And will you tell him the truth?”

Pepper looked away. Guilt twisted low in her stomach. But she’d already made that choice. “No,” she said quietly. “Tony realized in 2012 that the danger was out there. He’ll realize again. I’m here to help him when that happens.” It still made her feel uneasy, this sense that she would be manipulating Tony.

Tony had carried the weight of the universe on his shoulders for over a decade, though. Had been Atlas and Cassandra in one.

Tony… he wasn’t ready to know.

Pepper wasn’t ready to tell him.

Pepper would have to live with the consequences of what that did to her.

The Ancient One nodded, the movement small and self-contained.

“You walk a dangerous path, Miss Potts.”

For a second time, the loss of Mrs. Stark weighed on her. It had been a part of her identity for fifteen years. The dissonance would fade, she was sure. But… it would take time. “I am well aware,” Pepper said quietly. “But I’ve seen what awaits this world. I don’t plan to fail.”

There were very few things in life that she’d truly failed at. No, Pepper had made a habit of success.

This was a venture on a scale like none other she’d ever embarked on, but Pepper was hardly going to let that stop her.

“Very few do.”

Pepper took a deep breath. “I could use some help.”

“And what is it that you need?” the Ancient One asked, an almost absent curiosity to her voice. “The time for the Mystic Arts to enter the public perception is not yet.”

“I want to be able to protect my mind. Tony’s as well. There are too many things out there that can exert undue influence.” The mind stone and Maximoff came to mind. Neither of which Pepper was eager to let at either her or Tony. No, Pepper needed the confidence of knowing that her mind was her own.

The Ancient One’s gaze went distant. “Give me time. I do believe that is something I can provide.”

Pepper nodded, grateful.

The Ancient One stood. “I wish you luck, Miss Potts. It is not an easy task that you’ve taken upon your shoulders.” The Ancient One examined her for a moment longer. “But I dare say, you’ll be able to bear it.”

Chapter Text

Tony was exhausted.

Most of that he could blame on the palladium, but he was more than willing to throw some of the blame on the meeting he’d just gotten out of.

Why were there so many meetings? And why were they that exhausting?

He pulled off his tie and tossed it to the side. He grinned as U beeped and immediately rolled over to pick it up. She trundled off with it, probably to hide it with the rest of her stash that Tony pretended not to know about.

He’d lost far too many ties to it, though. His own fault, obviously. He’d just prefer not to have a noose around his neck. And that was what the ties felt like.

He unbuttoned the top button and rolled up the sleeves. He could have changed, but he’d just wanted to be in his lab. He knew he’d been spending a perhaps disproportionate amount of time in the lab these days, but it was comfortable here.

Sue Tony, but he wanted to be comfortable.

DUM-E rolled over with his afternoon chlorophyll smoothie. He wrinkled his nose but threw it back. Ugh. Pond scum.

“Tony.” Pepper’s voice echoed through the lab as she stepped in. She paused as she took in the smoothie glass in his hand, lips pursing in that quietly concerned way of hers. “I had the diorama we found for the ’74 Expo brought here. I was hoping you would take a look at it.”

Tony made a face. “I swear, a few months ago you said the Expo was absolutely ridiculous and a waste of time and resources. Now, you’re more invested in it than I am.” He turned to look at her as she moved around the tables towards him.

That wasn’t quite true. Tony was invested in it and far more than he wanted to let anyone know. The Expo felt like Tony’s final legacy, a desperate leap for the future, a reminder to everyone of the wonder that was waiting for them.

The Expo stood as a brief opportunity for him to look and see what might be coming, to imagine how beautiful the world was going to be, even if Tony wasn’t going to be there to see it.

Pepper arched a brow. “I might think it’s ridiculous, but if we’re going to do it, we’re going to do it well. Your name is all over this Expo, which means that we are going to hold it to the highest standards of excellence. We only have a few months until the Expo opens, and the 2010 Stark Expo is going to go flawlessly.”

Tony examined her. Over the last two months, Pepper had been… different. It was subtle, but there. Tony wasn’t sure, but he thought he’d pinpointed it to the day she’d collapsed in his living room.

It left a stir of uneasiness in his chest. Still, Pepper had sworn up and down that she wasn’t sick and that if she did start to feel unwell that she would get herself checked out. Coming from her, Tony actually believed it. Pepper took her health seriously.

Which only made him more worried.

He shook the thoughts away. “Well, if we’re going to meet the Potts’ Standards of Excellence…” He smiled wryly. “I suppose I should come take a look at those plans.”

Pepper nodded. “You said something about honoring the past Stark Expos, I thought we could use the format of the ’74 expo, that being the last one. I thought it would be fitting.”

Not a bad idea, really. Tony liked it. “Ours, of course, is going to blow that one out of the water.” He hummed. “Maybe I should make a flying car,” he said thoughtfully. “I mean, dad was trying to build that back in the 40s and he never quite got it to work. I bet I could.” He eyed the Iron Man armor. Hell, he’d already gotten propulsion down, he could—

“No, Tony,” Pepper said, tone exasperated. “There’s no infrastructure for flying vehicles, and frankly, I don’t trust modern drivers with the ability to fly.”

That… was a good point.

“What if I made myself a flying car. That’d be—”

“You have the suit, Tony. I think that’s enough in the flying department.” Pepper sounded more amused than anything. That was one thing that Tony had noticed in the past two months. While Pepper had always handled his general… everything, well enough, the past two months she had seemed almost… fond. Fond and sad.

Some part of him had considered whether it was the acknowledgment of his upcoming death that had led to the slight change, but… but something about it felt off. Pepper was insistent that they would find a way to save Tony. There was no doubt in her. No preparation for the chance that she was wrong. But Tony wasn’t holding out hope.

He also wasn’t about to bring in a bunch of other people, despite Pepper’s suggestion that maybe a new point of view would help.

Tony was dying; he didn’t need anyone gawking at him the whole time it happened.

He’d never planned on anyone other than JARVIS knowing. Pepper having figured it out had caught him by surprise. Of course, he’d always known that Pepper was bright, but… well, he’d just counted on her not seeing. He knew his masks were impeccable and he’d slowly been forming the mask he’d planned to wear to his dying breath.

The sort of mask that no one would mourn when it was gone.

Tony brushed the thoughts away and back to the conversation at hand. Now wasn’t the time to be maudlin. “Fine,” Tony said, making sure that he sounded appropriately long suffering. “I will resist making a flying car.”

“Your sacrifice is appreciated,” Pepper said dryly. “Now, please come up and take a look at the diorama.”

Tony sighed, but followed Pepper back up the stairs and to the living room. The diorama was larger than he’d expected, leaning against the wall in two pieces, shoved together. He gave it a cursory scan and then hummed. “Looks good, can I—”

Pepper’s hand caught his elbow, stopping him from turning around. “Tony, please.”

Tony sighed. Fine. He’d look. He moved closer, taking it in. Pepper clearly wanted him to actually give an evaluation of the Expo plans. And it was his idea, his legacy. He should probably actually take a look at it properly.

He gave it a more than cursory examination, but everything seemed to be in line. He was more concerned about the science within the Expo rather than the minutiae of where the buildings would be located. Still, he could at least pretend to care. It took him a moment to realize he recognized the diorama. It’d been a long time since he’d seen it though, and those memories were foggy. “You know, my dad had this in the house for at least a year,” Tony said. “I wasn’t allowed to touch.” He sent Pepper a wry grin. “That didn’t always stop me, but in my defense, I was four.”

Pepper laughed. “Tony, you’re almost 40 and it still doesn’t stop you.”

“I am a master of restraint,” Tony told her. He turned back to the diorama. Nostalgia twisted in his chest. His childhood felt distant, unreal. He thought that was probably normal as you got older. Though he was sure that some people would add on that he hadn’t had much of a childhood to start with. Tony ignored the fact that they might have a point there, too.

“What do you see?” Pepper asked quietly.

Just another thing that his father had cared for more than he’d cared for Tony.

He didn’t think that was the answer Pepper was looking for.

“He loved this thing,” Tony said quietly. “He’d spend hours with it. Sometimes he’d just… stare, like he was seeing things no one else did.” He smiled, a little bitter.

Sometimes all Tony had wanted was for his dad to pay him even half as much attention to him as he had to all of the other things that his dad had decided were so important. That had always been a futile hope when it came to his dad, though.

Something bitter twisted in him. “You know, he never told me he loved me?” he asked, not sure where the words were coming from or why he was saying them. He tried not to talk about that, about the gaping emptiness, the constant absence, the ugly disinterest. “Hell, I don’t think he even liked me.” His dad had been cold, calculating, callous. “The happiest day in his life was when he sent me off to boarding school.”

Pepper moved closer; she grasped his hand and squeezed gently. “That’s his loss, Tony.” She let go of his hand.

His skin tingled where she’d touched.

He looked over at her. Sometimes it had felt like they’d danced around each other for years, but recently… Recently he’d gotten a sense of… finality.

The thing was, he thought Pepper might love him. He knew he loved her. But… but he had the strange sense that the door had closed. He didn’t entirely understand, and he wasn’t sure he was prepared to ask. They were closer now than ever—Pepper had looked at him and she had seen; Tony didn’t know what to do with that—and yet…

He didn’t understand, and he didn’t trust his own perceptions of relationships well enough to guess at where the change had come from.

He turned back to the diorama, tried to imagine what his dad saw in those hours in which he’d stare and stare, as though searching for the secrets of the universe. His lip twitched in amusement as he realized that, if one took out some of the extraneous structures it almost…

Hold on a second.

Had his dad actually designed the Expo so that it looked like an atom? He laughed. “Scientist to the last,” he said. “He structured the Expo like an atom. That’s the sort of nerdy thing I would do.”

Pepper inhaled sharply. “Oh?” she asked, voice light. “Which one?”

Tony hummed, examining the diorama with a more critical eye. He frowned. He was pretty good at chemistry, hell, he was better than pretty good, even if it wasn’t his area of interest. He knew his elements, but…

“I need to get these down to the lab,” he said, excitement twisting in his chest. Maybe he was wrong, the extraneous structures could very well be throwing things off, keeping him from seeing it properly. But… but it didn’t look like any element he knew. “Now.” He grabbed the left board, hefting it up. It was cumbersome to carry, but Tony didn’t let that slow him down.

He got it down to the lab quickly, setting it on the table before taking the elevator back up for the second. Pepper had dragged the piece closer to the elevator. Tony grinned at her, taking it from her and bringing it down to join the other one.

Pepper followed him down.

Tony only paid her partial attention. “JARVIS, could you kindly Vac-U-Form a digital wire frame? I need a manipulatable projection.”

There was a brief moment and then, “1974 Stark Expo model scan complete.”

A blue model appeared just over the small scale diorama. Tony lifted it up and moved it over so that it was in an empty space.

“How many buildings are there?”

“Am I to include the Belgium waffle stands?”

Tony rolled his eyes. “That was rhetorical.” Though now he sort of wanted Belgium waffles. “Just show me.” He twisted the model until it was upright in front of him. “What does that look like to you, JARVIS?” Glee twisted in his chest. “Not unlike an atom, right? In which case the nucleus would be here.” He pointed at the unisphere. “Highlight the unisphere. Lose the footpaths. Get rid of them.”

“Tony?” Pepper asked, voice quiet. “What are you looking at?”

Tony grinned at her. “I’m discovering, correction, I’m rediscovering a new element. At least I think so.” He turned back to the model. “All right, J, lose the landscaping, the shrubbery the trees.” He flicked away the extraneous items as they loosened from the model. “Parking lots, exits, entrances. Structure the protons and the neutrons using the pavilions as a framework.” He whistled lowly as it all started coming together. “Dead for almost twenty years and still taking me to school.”

Some of his good humor faded. Because how like his dad. It had always stung, a little bit, that his dad had never shared his science with Tony. His dad had left him a company—which was more than most people could claim—but both of their true loves had been science and… his dad had never left him anything.

Even this had been hidden away. How likely was it that Tony would have ever found it? The Stark Expo had stopped running when Tony was four; if Tony hadn’t been feeling nostalgic, this would have been hidden away forever.

“Tony?” Pepper asked quietly. “You said that there are no elements that could replace the palladium.”

Tony blinked at her. He hadn’t even thought of that, yet. He’d been a little busier being excited about the science—and being bitter, but he wasn’t going to admit to that.

“Well, J, how about it?”

“The proposed element should serve as a viable replacement for palladium,” JARVIS said. Relief swamped him, sharp and unexpected. Tony’s legs almost gave out from underneath him. Pepper’s apparently did give out from underneath her, because she had to catch herself on the nearby table. “Unfortunately, it is impossible to synthesize,” JARVIS finished.

Pepper’s head jerked up. “Impossible to synthesize?” She sounded aghast. “What do you mean, impossible to synth—”

Tony grinned at her. “Come on, Pep. You really think that’s going to stop me?” He glanced around. “Now where did I put that sledgehammer?” he mused out loud.

“Sledgehammer?” Pepper asked, tone baffled. She narrowed his eyes. “Are you about to—?” She let out an exasperated sigh and shook her head. “No, Tony. Make me a list. I’ll have everything we need here by this weekend.”

Tony made a face at her. “I’m pretty sure I have everything I need, here. But some of it is just… unfortunately located in the walls and under the floors and…”

“List, Tony,” she said, her tone making it clear she had no interest in watching him tear apart his basement.

He could do it, though. It’d absolutely work.

Though cleaning up afterward would be an absolute hassle. Pepper might have a point about sourcing the items he needed from somewhere other than his basement infrastructure. “I’ll get you a list,” he agreed. He didn’t need to rush this. He had time.

God, he had time.

And if this worked… he had so much more time than he’d thought he had.

For a moment he couldn’t breathe. He had… he had time.

If this worked… He wasn’t going to die. He wasn’t going to die.

A laugh escaped him, echoing around the lab. It sounded just a little hysterical to his ears, and he hoped it managed to pass mostly as normal to Pepper’s. “I’m going to live,” he said. He could hardly believe the words and he was the one saying them. He looked at Pepper who was smiling at him. There were tears in her eyes. “I’m going to live,” he repeated.

“You are,” Pepper whispered. “You’re going to live, Tony.” She wiped at her eyes, dashing away the tears. “Now, get me that list. I want that poison out of your body as soon as possible.”

So did Tony.

“And you thought that Expo was a bad idea,” he teased. “Turns out it was a brilliant one.”

“And you tried to get out of looking over the Expo plans,” she retorted easily. “You should clearly listen to me more often.”

“Always,” Tony said. “I should always be listening to you more.”

Pepper laughed. “I’ll remind you of that later.”

Tony grinned at her. “We’ll see if I listen.”

She shook her head, but her lips twitched up in amusement. “Don’t spend all day playing with your new element,” she told him. “You need to look over the wind farm contracts.”

Tony sighed. “I just discovered an element, don’t I get a little bit of a break?”

“No,” Pepper said firmly. “And soon you won’t be dying anymore, so that’s not an excuse either.”

Tony made a face at her. “Fine,” he said, a little sullenly. “I’ll be a good CEO and get all my work done. JARVIS will make sure I stay on track.”

“Good,” Pepper said. She straightened her skirt, though Tony didn’t think it’d been wrinkled. “Now, I’ve got work to do.”

Tony watched her go, before turning back to the representation of the element, glowing blue in the air in front of him.

He was going to live.

It didn’t take long, once Tony had everything he needed.

Settling the element into his newly designed arc reactor, and then placing the reactor into his chest left him feeling exultant.

A few feet away Pepper let out a choked sob. Tony glanced at her to see her trying to stifle the tears. Her eyes shone with a joy that was almost incandescent.

Tony’s own joy was bright and brilliant.

He was going to live.

First things first, stop Pepper from crying. He wrinkled his nose and smacked his lips a few times. “Huh. It tastes like coconut.”

Pepper blinked, and then let out a confused laugh. “Coconut?”

“Coconut and metal,” Tony agreed. “But mostly coconut.”

Pepper gave him a look. “We really should run scans on that.” Her voice was still a little watery, but she wasn’t crying anymore. Success. “I don’t want you to save yourself from one heavy metal only to start poisoning yourself with another.”

Tony shrugged. “JARVIS can run diagnostics,” he said. Pepper didn’t look convinced, and he gave her a small smile. “I’ve got a good feeling about this; all the earlier diagnostics were positive. I’m fine.”

Pepper sighed, but she didn’t say anything more about it. “I’ll get a patent application going,” she said. “A new element is going to be excellent publicity. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to make it a part of the Expo.”

The thought twisted in his head. The arc reactor powered by a brand new element. What would it be capable of? The palladium-powered arc reactor had been impressive, could have done amazing things. But this… this could change the world. “Stark Expo, run completely off of arc reactor technology. That’s a good pitch. I mean, we could run a whole lot more than the Expo off of this.” They could do so much. Excitement spun through his chest. “But… but this would be a good starting place, a good demonstration of what the reactor can do.” He grinned at Pepper.  “I like it.”

Pepper’s smile was fond, but it quickly turned serious. “Speaking of demonstrations,” she said, tone serious. “There was something I wanted to talk to you about.”

Tony raised an eyebrow. He forced his thoughts away from the possibilities that this new element had created. “Yeah?”

Pepper pursed his lips. “Hammer has applied for the May demonstration slot for the Stark Expo. He wants to bring in drones.”

Tony made a face. Hammer. God. Hammer really needed to give it a rest. “Bet they don’t even work.” He sighed, ran a hand over his face. “Whatever. Give him a sp—”

“I don’t think we should,” Pepper interrupted.

Tony stared at her, completely taken aback. “I mean, I know I don’t like Hammer, but I’m pretty sure you’re the one who tells me to be above that. We can’t just deny him a spot because he’s a weasel.”

Pepper shook her head. “That’s not what this is about.” Though her lips twitched in a smile that meant that she agreed with him but wasn’t going to say it aloud. “Let Hammer have a position if he wants, but not for this. Tony this is the Stark Expo, what does it say about your stance on weapons if we give a prime time demonstration slot for a weapons manufacturer to demonstrate weapons? Especially after SI’s decision to turn away from the weapons industry? You want the Expo to be about the future you want to see. The future you believe is possible. I don’t think we should give weapons a platform, not here, not now.”

Tony stared at her. Emotion spun in his chest. She understood. She understood the reason, she understood the dream, the vision. Tony… Tony hadn’t expected that. He felt a smile cross his face as warmth filled his chest. “No, you’re right. No weapons. Have we approved any other weapons’ demos?” he asked.

“I’ll take care of it,” Pepper said, voice firm.

Tony grinned. Of course Pepper would take care of it.

The Stark Expo was going to be a year of innovation and revolution, it was going to be a year where they could show the world just what was possible.

Pepper smiled, as though reading his thoughts. “This is just the start, Tony. We’re going to change the world.”

“Yeah,” Tony said, feeling exultant. “We’re going to change the world.”