Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Astarion looked down at the floor as he heard his parents speaking. He always knew that he was an inconvenience, unwanted by his parents. He would never amount to what they wanted from him.

Just a useless omega.

“He will be sold; it is the only why.” He flinched slightly as his father's hand slammed against the wooden table.

He saw his mother trying to say something before she shut up again. A shiver ran down his spine when he saw his father’s smile.

“I already have a seller for him.” He crouched down before his wife. “It is for the best for the family. We have a proper son, who would bring us honour. That is not the one.” He gently ran his finger down her cheeks, before he turned to leave.

When he got to the door, he turned just enough to say. “Make sure that he is ready before sundown.” The door slammed shut.

Astarion turned to his mother, he wanted to beg her not to let this happen, but the words died in his throat.

“I am so sorry child. I wish I could help, but the best you can do is try to make your alpha happy.” Her voice was soft as she pulled the young elf against her chest. Only thirty, still a child, this wasn’t right.

“Mom…” Astarion hated how his voice quivered as he clung to her—soft sobs wracking his frame.

“It will be fine, darling.” She tried to give him a reassuring smile, but it came out only as a grimace. Both knew that this wasn’t all right. But there was nothing that could do.

She stepped back slightly, her hands still on his shoulder. “Let’s get you ready, alright?” She gently whipped the tears away from his eyes. “You are strong, and you can survive everything life throws at you.”

Astarion just stared at her, shivering. She took his hand, pulling him from the kitchen, ignoring the eyes on them as she took him to the bathroom. A last chance to make sure her child would be safe.

Safe and clean and fed.

Not knowing what life, they are leading him into.

“Do you have something you would like for tonight?” Her voice was back to being light and Astarion knew that she was hiding her fears, trying to over him some comfort.

“Something spicy?” He tilted his head slightly; tears were dried on his cheeks.

“Of course, child. Go and bathe. I will arrange for the food, then get you something for tonight.” She gave him another smile before she turned and disappeared from the hallway.

Astarion just stood there for a few seconds, his body felt like lead, and fear was overwhelming him. He couldn’t help but wonder who his father sold him to. He glanced at the floor; his hands clenched into his pants.

Bath, he needed to bathe. One thing at a time.

His feet dragged slightly as he moved, maybe a warm bath would be able to settle him, maybe his mind was making it worse than it really would be. But at the same time, he also knew his father, he would be sold to the person who would give him the most power.

He shivered as he entered his room, his legs finally giving in under him. He shivered as he just sat on the floor, his eyes darting around the room, knowing that it would be the last time he would be seeing this room.

Fresh tears slipped down.

“Astarion.” He jumped slightly when his mother sat down next to him. Gently pulling him against her.

“It will be fine, little star. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but it will be fine. I promise you that. You will find your happiness.” She gently wiped the tears, trying to keep herself under control. She knew what was going to happen.

He will have the same life as she had. She could only hope, that in time he would be able to get away from him.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” She gently pulled him up.

It didn’t take them to have him cleaned up, freshly dressed and fed. She just held him gently running her fingers through the white locks.

Time was passing slowly and too fast at the same time.

When the call came, it was with a heavy heart that they stood up. She pulled him closer for just a brief moment. Before they made their way to the entrance. She froze when she saw the alpha standing there.

As she bowed slightly before Lord Szarr, Astarion easily followed her lead.  They could hear the two men talking but it was so brief.

“It was nice doing business with you Lord Szarr.” Astarion’s father pushed him to the older alpha, ignoring the stiffness in his child’s movements.

A hand clamped around his wrist and for a brief moment, Astarion could see his future.

Chapter Text

Astarion kept his eyes on the ground as he was dragged to his new home. His body thrummed with tension—pain radiating around his wrist.

He was forced to stop when they finally got to a bedroom.

“Strip.” The voice was cold, Astarion swallowed the fear away. He wanted to say no, but something kept his voice shut away. All he could do was stare at Cazador. Shaking his head slightly.

“Listen, boy, I am not going to speak twice. This is your first and only warning. Do you understand?”  It was clear that it wasn’t a question.

“Yes…” Astarion whispered the word. Taking a slight step backwards. Tears burned his eyes.

“Yes, Alpha, or yes sir. Now strip.” Cazador hissed the words, his eyes alighted with pleasure as he saw the fear in the omega, the way he tried to make himself smaller, but there was nowhere to go.

The silence in the room was strong, as Astarion started to strip. He tried to keep his movements as fluid as possible. But everything was too much.

“Down on your knees.” The command is clear.

Astarion couldn’t help but fall to his knees, his eyes on the floor. There was a part of him that wanted to argue and fight back, but something in his mind was screaming that if he did, there would only be pain.

“Open your mouth.” A hand wrapped in the long white locks roughly pulled his head up. Astarion’s hands went to the wrists, but he knew that there was nothing he would be able to do. Another hard tug, straining his neck he was forced to look into the glaring red eyes.

“This is the second time, I have to speak twice, open your mouth boy.” There was almost anger radiating from the alpha.

A small whimper slipped through Astarion’s lips as he opened his mouth, fear souring his scent.

Fingers pressed into his mouth, working over his teeth. He fell slightly forward as he was suddenly let go. All he could do was keep his eyes on the floor, trying to breathe.

He could hear Cazador undressed, the sound of the clothing as he folded it, walking over to the chair, placing it down, and then walking back. His fingers scratched slightly into his legs as he felt the fear almost overwhelming him.

A second barely passed before he choked on the cock. He desperately clawed at Cazador’s hips, trying to push him away. Spit ran down his lips as he was used. For a second the only thought that ran through his head was that he was only a doll.

Nothing more.

The man groaned above him, ignoring the weak scrambling, easily keeping a tight hold on Astarion’s head. Holding him in place.

Astarion wasn’t sure how long Cazador went for it, before he finally pulled back, watching as Astarion coughed, trying to get his breath back, scrambling back. Trying to put as much space between them as possible.

“Do you think you can get away?” The mocking tone made the hair on Astarion’s back stand on end, he didn’t bother to try and answer.

His eyes followed Cazador as he crouched down in front of him, his touch almost gently as he ran his thumb across Astarion’s cheek. “You are mine, little omega. Mine to do whatever I want to do with you.”

With ease he picks him up, forcing him down onto the bed.

“Please don’t.” The words were a whisper when Cazador pinned Astarion down against the bed.  

The movements were rough as his cheeks were spread; a whimper slipped through his lips as a finger was pressed into him. He tried to pull away, but a hard slap had him stuck. Tears streaming down his cheeks.

“You would do.” His voice was almost amused as he at least worked Astarion open.

Astarion body twitched and spammed as he was pushed into the bed. Crying as pain flew through his limbs.

When the fingers were finally out of his body, he thought for a moment that he could sigh in relief. Only to feel a cock pressing against his hole.

“Please don’t. Stop!” His voice broke as pain surged through him. “Stop, please.” Snot and tears smeared into the blankets. His hands twitched as he tried to pull himself away, only to get pulled back down.

Cazador only sighed as he smacked the boy’s but, enjoyed his screams. He could feel his knot starting to swell, pumping harder into the warm body below him. Enjoying the screams as he forced the knot into the tight heat.

Biting down on the scent gland, forcing him into a one-sided bond.

Astarion choked on spit as he laid still, mind blank as everything came crashing down.  

Shivering as Cazador stroke his body.

“You would be a good omega, won’t you boy?” It was clear that it wasn’t a question. He was being forced to say yes.

“Yes, Alpha.” Astarion’s voice was almost completely hoarse from screaming and crying. His eyes were vacant.

“Good boy.” Cazador smiled as he pressed kisses against the pale neck. Holding the omega close to him as he started up again. Ignoring the way fresh tears streak down the boy’s cheeks. Whispering everything he wanted to do to him.

Astarion finally passed out after the third time, too tired to try and keep up anymore.

Astarion’s eyes flutter open, he tries to sit upright, but all he can do is groan as pain hits him. Muscles screaming in stiffness and pain. His hand went up to the bit mark, a part of him didn’t want to believe it happened.

That it was all a dream, but when he pressed down, pain shot through his neck.

Get out.

It was an overwhelming urge, that he needed to run to get as far away as possible. He forced himself upright, trying to ignore the trembling in his limbs. Get clothes on and then get out of here.

It wasn’t a hard plan. Simple he could do it.

He groaned slightly as he got dressed, having to steady himself every few seconds. He forced the thoughts away, just get out, that is the only thing he needed to do. Everything else came second.

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Astarion pressed himself against the wall, when Cazador walked in, defeat radiating off him in waves.

“Did someone tell you to get dressed?” The words were sneered as Cazador looked down his nose at the omega. He stalked closer, his grip painful around the boy’s cheeks. He didn’t bother to wait for an answer.

“Your only duty is to serve me, if I say jump, you jump. It is your job to be respectful and please the alpha in your life.” Cazador could see the defiance that wanted to rear its head. “Do not even try and escape, you will not get far.” His finger gently traced where the bond mark sat.

To feel all the emotions the omega was feeling, he so enjoyed the pain and fear thrown through the bond.

Astarion’s hands balled into fists as he tried to take a step back.

A smack rang through the room. Astarion’s hand could only go up to his cheek as he stared at the floor, his mind dizzy. A hand grabs his wrist pulling him forward, ignoring how he tried to escape.

The grip tightened around his wrist, making him hiss as he was pulled forward. A small piece still screamed at him to fight back.

“Let me go!” His voice was hoarse, as he tried to pull away from Cazador, he didn’t want this. “Please let me go, Alpha.” Fear filled him as he was trying to get away. Tears burned his eyes as he was pulled from the room.

The only solace he could find was that at least there weren’t any people to see him like this.

All he could do was try and get out of Cazador’s grip, but the older simply kept a painful hold on his wrists, ignoring the blabbering behind him.

When they finally got in front of a room, Cazador was tired of the blabbering, he would need to beat this out of the stupid omega, he couldn’t have him behaving like this in front of guests.

“Keep your mouth shut, you have nothing to say that will change this, you are mine. You will do as I tell you and you will behave.” Cazador easily pressed the omega against the wall, as his hand settled around the thin neck. Just enough pressure to start choking the elf.

Astarion scratched the hand, trying to catch his breath. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. He didn’t want to die today, but he also didn’t want this for his life.

The years passed slowly, Astarion was not even sure how old he was, all he knew these days were pain and starvation. He glanced at the sun, one of the few places he still got some peace. He knew that it wouldn’t be long before Cazador would summon him again.

His arms wrapped around his stomach, and he could only glare at the ground. His mind drifted to what his mother told him, that he only had to endure for a while, that he would find happiness.

Lies,

It was all lies. Cazador would rather have him dead than out of his control. He sank to the floor, pulling his legs up to his chest. A part of him couldn’t help but wonder how much different life could have been if he was an alpha.

“Come, boy. The Lord is waiting for you.” Godfrey slipped into the room. Ignoring the hateful look he got from the omega. He didn’t bother to watch if the boy would follow, knowing that he was for the most part obedient.

Astarion forced himself upright, trying to ignore the stiffness in his legs, the pain radiating from his back, where he was whipped for trying to sneak some food.

He stood still for a few seconds, trying to gather the courage to face his alpha. For a second he couldn’t help but wonder, what he did wrong again.

Chapter Text

Astarion pressed himself closer to the wall, his eyes planted on Cazador, everything in him felt cold. He knew that his time on this earth was finally up, and he wouldn’t have to deal with the torment anymore.

The man crouched down in front of him, his hands fisted into the white locks as he was forced to look into the red eyes. Everything was a haze as he could only tiredly look at Cazador.

He could faintly feel Cazador in the back of his mind, “Do you want to be a vampire child?” Astarion wanted to scream at that, shout from the highest rooftop no, but all that slipped out was a feeble yes. He closed his eyes in defeat as he saw the Alpha crouched down before he bit into his neck.

Everything got dark.

When he opened his eyes again, he could feel that something was different, the starvation was replaced with something else, the urge to feed from humans. Panic overwhelmed him as he tried to get out of the box.

It was as if the walls were closing in on him, fingers screamed in pain as he started to scratch at the wood, he could faintly feel the nails breaking, splintering off. And then he got to the ground part.

It was easier to dig through the ground than the wood and before he knew it, he was outside. Breath hitching on congealed blood choking him as he moved upright.

Defeat fell over him as he could feel the effects of two commands in his brain, both from the same person but at the same time so different.

All he could do was kneel in the dirt as his eyes drifted to the tombstone, thirty-nine. It was only nine years of this hell and now what? There was nowhere to go but where his alpha commanded him to go.

The only way forward is to go back to the place where he was tortured day in and out. He could feel his master in his mind, calling him home.

How his body moved without a command from him, his master wanted him home so be it.

The century passed slowly as Astarion learned to be the best vampire omega he could be, trying to be as obedient as possible to not be sent to the kennels. The only little bit of joy he still found where from the children that his siblings sometimes lured in.

To take care of them. To make sure that Cazador’s wrath doesn’t turn to them. And if that meant he had to spend a few extra days in the kennels so be in, it was the only way he knew how to keep them safe.

Dull red eyes glanced up from where he was sewing to the door, he could hear a fight breaking out. A part of him was curious and he wanted to see who was stupid enough to attack the manor, but at the same time, he barely had the energy to stand.

So, he just sat against the wall, ignoring the trembling in his hands as he worked with a single-minded focus.

If he jumped slightly when the door was slammed open well, he is the only one that will know. Do not look up. A single command that ran through his mind.

“I need a healer in here!” The voice was commanding. Astarion couldn’t help but try and make himself smaller. A whimper slipped through his lips as he could still hear his master's commands in his mind.

The needle and cloth slipped from his fingers as he covered his ears, trying to keep the screaming away. The man at the door had a big presence and it freaked him out. Why couldn’t people just leave him alone?

His hands pressed harder as he heard urgent footsteps coming closer.

Pulling his knees up he tried to hide himself.

Someone crouched down in front of him, he could hear the clinking of bottles and then a soft voice.

“Hey, my name is Aria, may I check you over?” Her voice was soft and warm. She smelled like home in a way he couldn’t quite understand.

Astarion forced himself to look up, this wasn’t right, why would they be helping him? He couldn’t help but shake his head. Fear was almost overwhelming him as his eyes darted between the guard and the healer.

“It is okay to be scared, I know this isn’t a fun experience, but we are here to help. When was the last time you drank?” Her eyes scanned the body in front of her before she shook her head. He was by far the worse shaped than the rest.

His hands clamped around his mouth; this wasn’t safe. Master is going to be so mad. Eyes were wide as tried to keep his thoughts under control to keep the rising panic away.

She leaned slightly back her eyes trained on him Giving him slight space as she pulled bottles from the pack.

“Did you want to be a vampire?” Her voice was gentle as she sat down, knowing that this would take time.

Chapter Text

The silence between them stretched as Astarion kept her under his gaze, unsure what to make of the healer. He could still feel the anger radiating from his master. Everything in him screamed not to engage, even though he wanted to believe they were there to help.

His eyes darted to the guard when he suddenly moved into the room, he strained his senses to try and figure out if someone was coming down the hallway, but it was silent.

Aria glared at the guard before she shook her head in disapproval. The man gave her an apologetic look before he squatted down in front of Astarion. He held his hands out, showing that he wasn’t a threat.

“I am sorry for bothering you guys, I just need to get his name please.” The man made sure to keep his voice as even and calm as possible.

Astarion only shook his head, refusing to speak. Trying to hide again.

Aria sighed softly before she pushed herself upright, her hand delicately around the guard's wrists as she pulled him away. A part of her wanted to ask him why on earth he would try and intervene, but she knew he was only doing his work.

It was a big mission the Harpers undertook, sending out requests for help from a lot of other groups to even try and pull this off.

“We have some people in the front, one of the ladies is asking for an omega by the name of Astarion Ancunin. He is the only omega in this place.” He held his hands up in surrender at the anger radiating from the healer.

“It can wait, at least until I was able to look him over. He is clearly under a lot of stress, and this is something that we will need to deal with patience.” Her voice was soft as she scolded the guard.

“Yes, milady.” He gave her a slight bow ignoring the way she shook her head at his antiques.

Her eyes drifted to the end of the hallway, it almost sounded like the battle was over. More healers would start to move in, to the deeper parts of the mansion.

With a sign she walked back over to Astarion, crouching down, her hands gently as she pulled them away from his legs. He easily went with the movements; she could feel the tremors shaking his limbs.

“Hey there. I know this is scary, but I need to check you over, please. I promise that healing magic won’t hurt, and I won’t attempt anything with a broken bone that needs to be set.” She gave him an encouraging smile.

Astarion bit the inside of his lip, unsure whether he wanted to trust her, he could still feel the faint connection with his master, showing that he was still alive. He would be in hell if Master found out, but he allowed them to help.

“Please don’t. Master will be mad.” The words came out slightly broken, his throat tight.

Aria immediately looked at the guard, the worry clear in her green eyes. Waiting for confirmation.

The man stared out for a second before he replied. “They are in the last part, he is cornered, it will not be long anymore.”

Aria turned her attention back to Astarion. “You can feel him?” There was still so much they were learning about Vampires, but by the day the tomes were starting to fill up.

Red eyes glared at the floor, as his hand went up to his neck without thought. Before his fingers curled into a fist. To tried to try and answer anything. His body was fucked even with the enhanced healing of being a vampire.

Aria saw the defeated look. “Please let me help.” There was something to a plea in her voice, wanting to take away the pain the elf was in.

A small nod was her only answer, but enough that she gathered her magic. Feeling it tingling under her skin she started to give him a one over. Magic washed over him calming the pain for the moment.

She wasn’t certain how long she worked, well worked as well as she could over the clothes. Malnourishment, even with the padding of the clothes, she could feel bones. Bones that were broken time and time again.

With a swift movement, she grabbed her pack, Astarion just watching as she searched for something. When she pulled two bottles, he tilted his head slightly.

“Drink, it will help with the pain” She held it out to him. Knowing that there was a good chance that he would refuse, not trusting her.

A small head shake made her sign, but she didn’t press it.

Both looked up when the door suddenly opened, the guard’s voice was loud as he tried to get the people to leave.

Aria growled slightly before she shifted into her wild shape, the wolf easily stepped in front of Astarion. Protectiveness radiated from her as the Alpha and Omega stepped into the room. She could faintly hear the gasp behind her and then the scent of terror hit her.

“Stop with these dramatics.” The alpha’s voice was cold as he glared at the boy behind the wolf. Completely ignoring her.

“Anarallath.” The omega placed her hand on his chest, giving him a tired look. So many years and she finally can have her baby boy back home, why was he always this bloody stubborn? She could feel her heart breaking when she saw the way Astarion was trying to hide away from them.

“No, there is a clear place in the hierarchy Aravae, he is of no use to the family, especially not in his current state. Why on earth would we allow him back home?” The man growled slightly. “He couldn’t even produce an heir for his alpha in a century. He is defective.” The contempt was clear to hear.

A golden shape engulfed the wolf for a second before Aria was back in her normal form. Anger radiating from her.

“Get out.” The command was clear. Her voice was harder than it was ever in her life. The urge to tear them limb from limb was almost overwhelming, but she pushed the instinct away.

The alpha took a step closer to her, who in the world was she thinking she could speak to them like that? He raised his hand, the intent clear. She waited for the pain to bloom across her cheek when she caught the sight of hazel eyes.

Anarallath turned around to face the person who dared catch his hand. He paled slightly when he realised that he might have bitten off more than he could chew.

“I believe the lady told you to leave, I suggest you do.” His voice was calm, but the threat was clear.

A small nod as his wrist was let go. He glared at the boy in the corner, muttering angrily under his breath, as he walked out, trying to keep his dignity intact.

Aravae gave Astarion one last look, the longing clear in her eyes before she followed. Sadness that she didn’t fight the first time she lost him, and now again. She could feel anger clawing in her chest. But now there was nothing she could do.

A silent promise that she would find him again.

 Astarion could only stare at the floor, he could feel tears staining his cheeks, but he couldn’t find the energy to wipe them away.

His mind for the first time in more than a century blissfully silent, no compulsion keeping him in check, but at the same time, he couldn’t even find the energy to move. His eyes slowly slipped shut as darkness pulled him under.

Chapter Text

Astarion woke up on something soft and warm. All he wanted to do was bask in the heat for a few minutes before his brain kicked in and the memories returned to him.  He sat up, fingers clenching the bedding.

“Breath, you are safe.” The voice was warm and gentle. The bed dipped slightly as the man sat down.

Astarion couldn’t bring himself to look up. Fear was thrumming through him. All he wanted to do was run away and hide. Fingers clenched harder against the material as he tried to pull himself together. Unsure of what he was supposed to make of the people helping him.

Halsin frowned slightly but just sat there patiently as he waited for Astarion to gather his thoughts. He could smell the acid scent of fear surrounding the omega.

The silence was almost overwhelming before Astarion managed to gather the strength to speak. His voice was hoarse. “What do you want with me?” Hoping that it would be something he would be able to do, that it wouldn’t hurt too much.

The man laughed slightly, running his fingers through his hair. “Nothing, well we want you to heal, and I am pretty sure Aria wants to pick your brain about vampires, but nothing. If you want to leave you are welcome, but you are also welcome to stay with us until you are properly healed.”

Astarion bit his lip, unsure what his response should be.

“Listen little Star, this is a lot, give yourself a chance to trance and eat, let us give you one more check-over before you decide.” He smiled slightly, pressing himself upright, giving the younger some space.

Astarion could feel tears burning his eyes, trying to blink them away, but they still escaped. A choice? He wouldn’t even know what to decide if someone paid him.

Halsin turned back to the bed, unsure what was wrong. “What’s wrong?” He crouched down slightly next to the bed. Wishing he could take away the pain he was feeling.

A sniffle as Astarion tried to gather his thoughts. He jumped slightly when warm hands settled over his, finally, he looked up into kind amber eyes. Fresh tears and he leaned slightly forward allowing the other to pull him forward.

“Let it out, Little Star.” Halsin could only run his fingers through the fine locks, gently scratching his scalp. Allowing him to cry into his chest.

He wasn’t sure how long they just sat like that before the small shivers finally stopped. Halsin grabbed the blanket, throwing it around Astarion wrapping him in it. Not pulling away. He was certain that he didn’t have comfort in years.

Astarion jumped slightly when the door opened before he settled down again. Safe, he felt safe in the arms of a stranger.

Aria smiled slightly at the scene, as she put two plates down and a bag from her shoulder thudded to the floor. Her eyes were bright as she bounced on her feet. Halsin could only shake his head slightly, wondering where she gets her energy from, especially after a day like today.

The silence in the room was comfortable, Halsin just holding Astarion as Aria started a fire. Heating the room properly.

She mouthed to Halsin. Is he awake?

A small nod her answer she moved slightly closer, still giving enough space. “Hi Astarion.” Her voice was soft and gentle. She could see the way he stiffened slightly before he turned to face her.

Red eyes met green for a second before Astarion focused on the floor again. He was certain that if he was alive his heart would be pounding out of his chest.

“Are you hungry?” Her hand twitched slightly, knowing that they would need to feed him, but she was pretty sure that they would need to lead this dance.

Astarion was silent, are they trying to trick him? Why would they feed him? Confusion mixed with fear as he tried to figure out what their game was, but his mind came up blank. All he got out was weak: “Yes ma’am.”

Halsin arms tightened when Astarion flinched when Aria just cut her wrist as if it was nothing. Making sure not to make a mess she held it up like an offering.

“Drink.” One word, but it was enough that he leaned forward, his eyes darted to hers for a second, before he took her wrist. Biting down.

All his mind screaming at him to be careful not to hurt her, not to push the boundaries that he still wasn’t sure what it was. So, after a few gulps, he forced himself away. His body shaking slightly begging him to drink more.

But he couldn’t get passed the instinct that he would be in trouble.

“Drink. I will take my wrist away when it gets too much.”  Her voice was firm. Astarion gave her an unsure look before he started to drink again.

He wasn’t sure how long it went on, his mind focused on the fact that for the first time, he didn’t feel like he was going out of his mind with hunger.

When she finally pulled away, pail but a small smile she gave Astarion.

The words slipped out before he could second-guess himself. “Thank you.” Nothing more nothing less than the gratitude he was feeling. How long before the pain started up again, he didn’t know, but for now, he would be thankful for the fact that he could have food.

Chapter Text

Astarion was content where he leaned against Halsin. The alpha looked happy while he was eating.

For a moment he considered asking why they were helping him, but he didn’t want to know, he just wanted to pretend that everything was good. That there was a chance that he would do something, and the pain would come back.

So, it is best to keep quiet.

“Little Star, would you like to take a bath?” Halsin’s voice was low and warm as he glanced down at the sleepy elf against his leg.

 Astarion froze slightly as he glanced up before he forced himself upright, for a moment panic swept through his body. He tried to put his mask up, but he was sure it was a failure. His mind screamed at him to hide, but he couldn’t bring himself to move.

Halsin could see the panic, and then there was nothing. “Nothing will happen Little Elf. It is just a bath, I promise.”

“I will help.” Aria suddenly spoke up, just had a feeling that Astarion would be more comfortable with an omega to help. “I got you some clothes for the evenings and travelling.” She rummaged through the bag she bought with her earlier in the evening.

Pulling out a soft set of clothes, a bar of soap, cloth and some bathing oils.” Her voice was light as she bounded around the room. She smiled slightly before she disappeared into the bathroom. Astarion could hear the water running as he just looked up at Halsin, unsure of what to make of the energy.

Halsin just smiled as he gently ran his fingers through the white locks Astarion started to relax again.

 “Go and enjoy it, Little Elf.” Halsin held him up as Aria poked her head out.

Astarion just gave them another unsure look, before he disappeared into the bathroom, closing the bathroom door behind him. His eyes darted around the small bathroom, his eyes drifting to the door, certain that they would burst into the room.

So, he just stood there, staring at the door. When he was finally sure that it was safe, he quickly got out of his clothes and stepped into the warm water.

A small moan slipped from his lips as the warm water surrounded him, he could feel the heat soaking into the tense muscles. With quick movements he grabbed the soap and cloth, starting to scrub himself clean.

To try and get rid of the phantom hands that always feel like they are there, no matter what he does. The people's blood that he spilled on his master’s command. He wasn’t sure how long he had been sitting there, scrubbing his skin raw.

“Astarion.” The voice was calm and called out to him, making him freeze, before he allowed the small come in to slip out.

Aria peaked around the small opening she made. “Hey, are you okay?”  Barley hid behind the door, but still, Astarion could say he appreciated it, to still give him some form of privacy. Even though she didn’t need to do it.

“Yeah, sorry, got lost in thought, I will be out shortly.” He wanted to hit himself for the wobble in his voice. But it was enough for Aria as she closed the door again.

He shook his head, trying to get rid of the thoughts that were running through his mind. They were nice and he had an unnatural feeling of safety from them. But at the same time, he couldn’t help but wonder how long it would be before they grew tired of him.

And he was certain that it would happen, especially if he couldn’t give them some form of use. He frowned slightly as he started to get dressed. Halsin made it clear that he doesn’t want his body, so then what do they want from him?

Or will he only find out in a few days that it was all a lie? Could they be trusted? Astarion closed his eyes taking a deep breath as he slipped from the bathroom.

For now, he would just follow there lead, maybe they are the key to a happy life. He could only hope.

Chapter Text

Halsin sniffed slightly as the scent of pissed-off omega hit him. He shook his head a little bit. Knowing that it was coming from Aria. It was a bloody special one with enough anger to turn the world on its head.

He sighed before he continued speaking with the Gur leader, she was tired, he could see it in the way she was holding herself. But simultaneously, she was pleased, the children were back where they belonged. Those who were turned, will in a few days be back to normal thanks to the potions.

He excused himself as the scent got strong, following it back into the manor. The place was screaming with pain and heartache. But at the same time darkness and fear. It almost felt unnatural.

He could hear voices speaking from one of the rooms. His nose wrinkled slightly when the scent of fear hit him. The alpha in him screamed for comfort, to take away the pain, but he pushed it to the side. First things first. He needed to know what was going on.

A guard nodded at him, tilting his head slightly as Halsin walked into the room, he frowned at the Alpha who dared to lift his hand at an omega, to ignore the distress that was growing in the room. His grip was slightly harder than it should have been as he gripped the wrist.

His voice was even deeper than normal as he simply said: “I believe the lady told you to leave, I suggest you do”.

The other simply glared at the boy before he nodded and then he was finally out. The omega that was with him was surrounded by sadness as she followed. For a moment he considered stopping her before he decided against it as the elf fell unconscious.

Before he truly knew it, he was helping Aria, getting him into a more comfortable condition, he could faintly hear her muttering under her breath as magic gathered at her fingertips, healing the non-lethal wounds.

Halsin smiled slightly as he placed a hand on her shoulder, bringing her to a stop. A wordless conversation as she moved slightly allowing him to take over.

His magic was bright as it started to fix more of the damage, but he knew that it would take time, even with vampire healing to fix all the damage that happened. “Can you give me the black cloak?” His voice was gentle as he wrapped the omega into a blanket.

Aria handed him the cloak, and between them, they managed to get Astarion completely covered.

“He is coming with us?” Her head tilted slightly as she gave Halsin a quiet look.

“Yes, we can’t just leave him here.” He was also unsure of why he so badly wanted to help, but the instinct part was still screaming at him, that needed to protect him, he shook his head slightly to clear his head.

“Alright, I will see you back at the tavern, he will need some supplies for when he wakes up.” Aria pushed herself upright, her smile bright as she didn’t even bother to wait for a reply before she disappeared from the room.

Halsin could only shake his head as he made his way out of the manor. Making sure that Astarion was properly covered before they hit the sunlight.

The walk was faster than he thought it would be. But it seemed that Aria pulled her magic to make sure the way was clear. He looked down at the bundle in his arms. Frowning slightly as he walked. How could anyone still be so angry when the fear was clear? When they could see the distress still, they continued.

He could only shake his head as he slipped into the Elven song. He ignored the people as he made his way to the room they were renting.

It took some manoeuvring to unlock the room, he easily slipped into the room, once it was open. He placed Astarion onto the bed, making sure that no sunlight reached him before he started to close the curtains. Some sunlight was still coming in, but at least he would be relatively safe if he should wake up before twilight.

He moved around the room, pulling out some extra healing potions if the need arose for them before he settled down close to the bed. Closing his eyes for a few minutes.

This wasn’t what he expected when Aria came to him, letting in hand. Asking to accompany her to Buldar’s Gate. He was hesitant at first, not really in the mood for a wanderlust these days, but there was just something in her eyes that made him agree.

Movement pulled him from the semi-trance he fell into, fear filled the room. He forced himself upright, sitting down as he spoke. “Breath, you are safe.” Making sure to keep his voice as gentle as possible.

He could see the tension running through the body, he was like a tight wounded bow, ready to go off at any second. Halsin made sure to sit in such a way that he could see he wasn’t a treat. That this was relatively safe.

“What do you want with me?” Astarion’s voice was hoarse as if he hadn’t spoken in a long time. 

Halsin laughed slightly, he ran his fingers through his hair. “Nothing, well we want you to heal, and I am pretty sure Aria wants to pick your brain about vampires, but nothing. If you want to leave you are welcome, but you are also welcome to stay with us until you are properly healed.”

He frowned slightly as Astarion bit his lips. His fingers clenched into the bedding as if he was trying to gather his thoughts.

“Listen Little Star, this is a lot, give yourself a chance to trance and eat, let us give you one more check-over before you decide.” Halsin pressed himself upright, deciding it was better to give him some space.

Halsin turned back to the bed when he heard small sniffles. It was clear that he was trying to keep himself quiet. “What’s wrong?” Hoping he could take away his pain, to make it better for him. He gently placed his hands on Astarion’s hoping it would give him some form of comfort.

Red eyes met amber as fresh tears streaked across his cheeks as he leaned forward, looking for something. Halsin didn’t even think as he pulled the Omega against his chest, gently running his fingers through the locks as he spoke. “Let it out, Little Star.”

He wasn’t sure how long they just sat like this, holding him close before the shivers finally stopped. He grabbed at the blanket, wrapping the omega up in it. Hoping that it will help with some heat for the younger.  He just sat there easily holding the younger, wondering if this was enough.

He felt the jump just as the door opened. Before Astarion settled down against him again, his fingers still clenched in his amour.

Aria hummed slightly as she started a fire, heating the room properly. Amber eyes tracked her movements as she turned to face him. Mouthing. Is he awake?  A small nod was her only answer, content with the silence in the room.

“Hi Astarion.” She made sure to keep her voice gently. Halsin froze slightly as he felt Astarion stiffen. Before he turned to face her.

What a fitting name the thought crossed his mind. Truly a star.

“Are you hungry?” He almost hit his head at the question, realising that it would be either one of them that would need to feed him. Not that he minded. So, he simply settled as he let her handle it.

He didn’t react to the fear that started to fill the room again. He wanted to sign a little bit, but he knew that it was completely normal. That everything would seem like someone was waiting for them to hurt him.

But still, Astarion managed to answer her. “Yes ma’am.” He wanted to correct him, but Aria was faster as she simply cut her wrist, making sure to nick the vein as she brought it up to him. Astarion flinched, slightly pressing himself closer to Halsin.

“Drink.”  A one worded command, but it was enough that Astarion leaned forward. Struggling slightly to get his arms out of the blankets, before he took the offered wrist. A small moan slipped through his lips as the blood filled his mouth.

It was clear that he was keeping tight control over himself when he pulled away after a few gulps.

He glanced up to Aria, both knew that it wasn’t enough.

“Drink, I will take my wrist away when it gets too much.” Halsin smiled slightly at the firmness of the words. Between both of their magic, it would be easy enough to feed him on an off-rotation between them.

Astarion was stiff as he started to drink again. Between himself and Aria, they managed to keep her going with spells as he drank.

Halsin smiled slightly when Aria finally pulled away. It was clear that her blood was doing something as a small flush formed on his cheeks. A small thank you slipped from Astarion it was clear that he was grateful.

Chapter Text

Astarion sat up with a start, his eyes scanning the darkening room. Halsin and Aria seemed to be fast asleep in front of the fire.

He forced himself to breathe, to try and get himself under control. Without thought his fist went to his mouth as he bit down—a bad habit but something that always brought his thoughts under control.

His eyes fell closed as his mind wandered. This was a chance to have a different life. To finally be happy. It didn’t feel the same when Cazador bought him. It does feel different, more real. They were nice.

His teeth sank deeper into his fist. That was truthfully even more scary. At least he knew what to expect with Cazador. But what if he did something wrong and suddenly the situation is the same?

And he knew there wasn’t true fully anywhere he would be able to go. Maybe he could work in a brothel, but what is the chance that they would even want him? This was his best shot at something, that he still didn’t know.

A warm hand on his shoulder made him jump slightly, looking up fast, as he hid the hand he had bitten into.

“Hey, are you alright?” Halsin’s voice was warm as he sat down next to Astarion. He had to admit that the omega was good at hiding his scent. He could see the tension running through his frame, but still, his scent didn’t let anything go.

“Yes, Alpha.” There was still a slight meekness to Astarion’s voice as if he was trying to gather his baring. He didn’t know of the memories that plagued his trances. The less ammunition he gives them the better.

“You don’t have to call me alpha, Little Star. Can I see your hand?” Halsin knows that it is something they both will need to repeat until Astarion gets more comfortable with them. Hopefully, with time it will come.

A slight flush formed on Astarion’s cheeks as he finally showed his hand. He frowned slightly at the bite marks; it was deeper than he normally allowed it to go. But it will heal fast enough that he wasn’t really worried about it.

He looked up when something gold caught his attention, memorised as Halsin soothed the open skin with healing magic. When he was done, Astarion hid his hand in his lap. Looking down: “Thank you.” The least he could do for now was show his appreciation for all their help.

“Do you maybe want to go for a walk? I always find it that fresh air clears the head like nothing else.” Halsin held out his hand after he had pushed himself upright.

Astarion glanced to the floor for a second before he took the offered hand. Maybe it would do to get some fresh air. Plus, he felt safe with Halsin, this would be fine?

The walk was quiet as they moved to the roof. Astarion couldn’t bring himself to look up, just allowing Halsin to lead him where he wanted them to go. He could hear some people still talking in the tavern the floor below.

He moved slightly closer as people walked past them. His skin crawled at the thought of being touched.

He wasn’t sure how long they walked before they reached the roof, but when they finally stepped onto the roof, he couldn’t help but take a deep breath in, letting the cool air calm his racing mind. As he took a slight step closer to the ledge, looking up to the stars.

For a moment, he could pretend that everything was okay. He looked back at Halsin, his eyes were so damn friendly and safe.

A soft sob slipped through his lips as he sat down, too tired to try and rationalise with his brain anymore.

“I don’t understand. Why are you helping me?” His voice was weak, red eyes pleading at Halsin, to give him something to work with. Anything but the voices in his mind, telling him to get ready for a new era of pain.

Halsin signed before he sat down next to Astarion. “Most of the other fled into the sun. Burning a few seconds after being hit. The children just huddled to a side, trying to hide away, they are with their parents now. And then there was you. You didn’t run, you didn’t try to hide. You just sat there and continued with your work.

And yes, your parents were there, and I believe the harpers would prefer that we handed you back to them. But there was just something vile about your father. We just knew that life would be even harder if you went back.

So where else will you go? At least with us, we know that you will be safe. Even if it is just temporary.” Halsin shrugged slightly. He could see the way Astarion was struggling to accept his words.

Silence fell over them, Halsin sitting slightly to the side, giving Astarion some space.

Just before the sunlight started to peak over, he gently pulled Astarion upright. “Let’s get some rest, we have a while to travel tonight.” His voice was light as he led them back to their room. Wondering what was going on in Astarion’s head.

Chapter Text

Astarion glanced around the woods, a shiver running down his spine as they walked, he could hear Aria and Halsin speaking about the track time back to some town. Truthfully, the name had already slipped his head, and he didn’t want to bother.

“Are you alright there?” Aria’s voice was warm as they waited for him to catch up.

“Yes, Ma’am.” He gave her a nervous smile. As he moved slightly faster to catch up with them.

“Please, no ma’am, Astarion. Just Aria.” There was a slight twinkle in her eyes. “May I ask you something?”

A small nod was her only answer.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. Did you want to be changed to a vampire?” She tilted her head slightly as they walked slightly in silence.

Astarion wasn’t sure how to answer it. He didn’t want to remember the pain of that time. The fear that he felt that stupid night. “No.” He glanced to the ground, forcing himself to continue. “Cazador pretty much used his alpha command on me to say yes when he asked me if I wanted to change. It should have ended that bloody night, but no, he just had to continue the bloody pain.” He could feel the anger boiling under his skin at the thought.

A sudden hand around his, made him jump slightly as he looked up at green eyes.

“Would you change it?” There was something in her eyes, that made Astarion stand still, unsure of what he should say.

“Yeah, but unfortunately there is nothing that would change.” There was something bitter in his voice. He hated this, he hated how his life had changed, but still, he was here and there was nothing that he could do, to change his life.

So why would he bother to change things?

“If I could go back, maybe I could do something differently, but I highly doubt it, I was pretty close in either case to death when it happened.” Astarion wasn’t sure why the last part slipped out, missing the way Aria and Halsin’s eyes met.

The silence was almost overwhelming, but Astarion was so deep in thought that the barely noticed it.

He wasn't sure how long they had walked before, they stopped at a cave. Astarion tilted his head slightly as he looked at the dark walls, glancing up at the other two, unsure of what to make of the situation.

“We are going to break here for the day, daybreak will happen soon,” Halsin spoke up as they moved deeper into the cave. He smiled slightly at the younger who gave him an unsure look, wondering how they would be able to deal with everything.

“I am going to hunt; will you too be alright?” Halsin continued to speak. Waiting for something from the two omegas.

“Of course. We can set up so long and then we will figure it out from there.” Aria easily speaks up. Bouncing slightly on her heels. Two more days of traveling and they would finally be back home.

It would be good to be home.

Halsin only smiled ruffling her head slightly before he changed into a bear, disappearing into the woods.

Aria turned to Astarion. “I am going to gather firewood; will you start to set up the bed rolls for us please?”  She smiled at him, not bothering to wait for an answer as she also disappeared.

Astarion could only blink at where she was standing, before he shook his head, unsure of what to make of the last few interactions. He sighed slightly as he grabbed the backpacks, taking them deeper into the cave, making sure he was as far away from the cave mouth.

He glanced at Aria’s and Halsin's packs, unsure whether he should get the bed rolls out. His mind wandered for a few seconds, fear that it was a trick, but at the same time, he knew he was screwed as well if he didn’t listen.

It took a few minutes, to get the bed rolls in as comfortable as possible. Before he sat down, his hands clenched into his pants, fear gnawing at his heart.

This was bloody stupid, there was nothing to fear. They are different. They are not Cazador. This is fine. He closed his eyes for a second, trying to push the fear away. This is fine. Just fine. He will survive this.

“I’m back.” Aria easily called out as she slipped into the cave, shaking her head slightly. Her eyes were bright as she moved over to Astarion, dropping down the sticks she bought. “Thank you for the bedrolls.” Her voice was bright as she sat down.

Her hands moved fast building a small fire. When the heat pulled through, she settled down next to Astarion.

“I have to say, it would be good to be back home. I miss the cats.” She kept her voice light as she just stared out to the cave.  There was a tiredness to her, that perked Astarion’s curiosity slightly.

The whole time he knew her, she was always bouncing, as if her body couldn’t handle the energy that she was radiating, but now she looked tired, as if life had tried to pull her down and she clawed her way back.

But he couldn’t bring himself to prob deeper, so he only slightly hummed. If she wanted to continue, she would be able to but, if she didn’t she wouldn’t.

The silence they fell in was almost comfortable.

If Astarion fell asleep against her shoulder, well it would only be between them.

Chapter Text

Everything felt like it was in a blur, as Aria pushed Astarion into a small opening, before she pulled rocks in front of them, hiding him from view. A petrified whimper slipped through his lips as he was squashed into the small opening.

There was nowhere to move. Fear overwhelmed him. He closed his eyes tightly. He shouldn’t have trusted them. Breath, just breath. He could faintly hear voice on the other side, but it was hard to hear what they were speaking about.

Aria tilted her head slightly, as she cast a silencing spell around the rocks. She wanted to kick herself, of course they would have sent someone after Astarion, they don’t want him, but at the same time they don’t want them out of there control.

A curse slipped through her lips as she easily hid the extra bedroll, making it appear that there were only two people in the cave.

A deep breath and an easy smile settled on her face as she watched the guard’s approach. She took a few steps forward as if she wanted to greet them, but at the same time keeping space between them.

“Good morning, sirs. How can I help?” Her voice was easy and bright as they came to a stop in front of her.

“We are looking for a vampire spawn that you housed in Baldur’s Gate.” It was clearly the leader that spoke, giving her a stick eye. Wondering why on earth they would go out of their way to assist a mere spawn.

Her eyes narrowed slightly, before she spoke. “He decided against traveling with us. We last saw him at the tavern.” She swallowed the anger away. There was no reason to try and fight them. It would only lead to more bloodshed.

The man looked her up and down, his eyes shifting to the inside of the cave, two bedrolls and backpacks were on the floor. He glanced at her one last time, before he turned around, he didn’t bother to say anything else.

Aria watched as they rode away, disappearing slowly from her view. A sigh slipped through her lips. That was close.

Astarion bought his hands back when he noticed the rocks being moved. He pressed slightly against it, fresh tears leaving his eyes as more light came in.

“Hey, it is okay.” Aria moved faster getting all the rocks out of the way. The scent of iron hit her nose hard. “It is okay. I am sorry.” She pulled him out of the space, holding him just for a few minutes.

She could clearly feel the shivers that was running through Astarion. “I’m sorry, I should have explained why I am hiding you. There were guards, they were looking for you. I am really sorry.

She gathered her magic, healing the scratched-up fingers. “I can only imagine how distortion that must have been, one moment you were still asleep and the next.” She shrugged, slightly unsure of how to actually put it into words.

“It is alright.” She whispered the last part, holding him slightly closer to her body. Wishing she could change this.

“I disobeyed Cazador once, it was still relatively in the early days after I was changed. He wanted to see how good I was luring people in.” A bitter smile as he thought back to that bloody year.

“He was the sweetest boy I have met in years, and I really didn’t want to bring him back.” He scoffed slightly. “In the end he stilled died, and I was placed into a coven for a year. I thought I was going to lose my mind in there.

Between the hunger and my own thoughts, well it was hell.” He trailed off, too tired to continue. He was almost certain that she would understand what he meant, what the sudden small space did to him.

“I promise that we will never hurt you like that.” Her voice was soft as she gently strokes his hair, it will get better once they are home.

Chapter Text

Aria signed slightly as she slid out from under Astarion, pulling the blanket up around him before moving to the cave's mouth, closing her eyes for a few seconds, as the sunlight caressed her skin.

 The urge to move on, was almost overwhelming, to keep away from here, but there was nothing to continue. They all need rest. It would be fine; all would be fine. She forced the thought forward.

Halsin would be back soon. He would be a little bit more level-headed about this.

Aria wasn’t sure how long she stood in the sun, just waiting. She jumped slightly when Halsin finally joined them again.  Dropping a few rabbits.

“What’s wrong?” He could feel worried radiating from Aria.

“Guards was looking for Astarion.” She was point blank as she leaned slightly to the side. “I managed to hide him in time, but I just have this feeling that we need to get out of here.” She ran her fingers through her hair.

“You think they will come back?” Halsin tilted his head slightly as he moved into the cave. In the short time he knew Aria, he learned to trust her instincts.

“There is a high chance for it, especially since they knew we were the last people with him. I told them that we left him at the tavern, but I don’t know. I just have this feeling that they didn’t believe me.” A sigh slipped through her lips. Tiredness dragging her down.

Halsin was silent for a few seconds, his mind going a mile a minute. “Let’s eat and then we continue with the journey.” He gave her an easy smile.

“What about Astarion?” She couldn’t help but wonder whether Halsin wanted to carry him further, but it didn’t solve the daylight issue.

“We can just wrap him in the blackout blanket again, I will carry him until evening. If we travel through the night, we should reach the village by tomorrow afternoon. I think we will all feel a bit better with friendly faces around us.” Halsin gave her an easy smile

“Alright.” Aria sat down, dragging her dagger out of the pack. Between them, they skinned the rabbits, roasting them over the fire.

The silence that fell over them was easy. Eating, just resting for a little bit.

When they finally finished, Aria, stood up. “I will start clearing up, will you get him ready?” She didn’t bother to wait for an answer as she started to kill the fire.

Halsin couldn't help but just shake his head as he moved to Astarion, gently shaking his shoulder, and waiting for him to come out of his trance.

Not even a second and the vampire was aware and awake. His red eyes were slightly bright the question clear in them.

“We are going to move forward; we are worried about the guards.” Before Astarion could even ask about how he is supposed to move in the sun, Halsin continued. “I can carry you; we have a blackout blanket that will keep you safe from the sun. Are you okay with that?”

Astarion knew that he didn’t have a choice in the matter, he knew that if he was to go with them, he would just have to say yes. So, he could only nod.

Fear bubbled in his stomach as Halsin wrapped him into the blanket, making sure that nothing was peeking out.

“You alright in there?” Halsin could faintly smell the acid scent of fear on the omega. How much fear is the omega that it is starting to show in his scent?

“Yes, alpha.” Astarion’s voice was tight, something in his mind screaming that he needed to run, to hide. But there was nowhere to go. He could only follow them, and this was the only way to follow.

Halsin wished he could see the red eyes. “It is okay to be scared, just give it time, and you will feel safe again.”

Astarion closed his eyes, ignoring the burning, how much he wished that could be true, but all he knew is fear, he wouldn’t know how to deal with being safe even if he tried, but well he isn’t going to say that.

Chapter Text

Halsin and Aria gave a sign of relief when they finally made their way into the house. Aria closed her eyes for a few seconds. The last few days were tiring in a way that didn’t have in a long day. Astarion followed close behind, his eyes drifting around the open room.

It was warm and homey so different from living in Cazador’s palace. He stayed still in the doorway, unsure what they wanted him to do.

Halsin turned to face Astarion as Aria disappeared somewhere. “Welcome home, Little Star. We are going to get a room ready for you. I think for now the best would be to get some rest, when we are awake and functional again, I will show you around where everything is.” Halsin held a handout waiting for Astarion to take it.

Tiredness was pulling Astarion under, so slipping his hands into Halsin was easy, allowing him to lead him deeper into the house.

It wasn’t long before they reached the guest room, Aria, just popping out, a tired smile on her face. “Bed is ready.” She turned to Halsin, “I will be back later. Sleep well.” She didn’t wait for a moment before she disappeared.

Astarion froze slightly. Unsure of what to expect.

With a shake of his head, Halsin led Astarion into the room, letting him stand in the middle as he made his way to the cupboard. “It might be a little bit big, but it is clean.” He pulled out clean clothes, handing them to Astarion.

“My room is just down the hall; I will ensure the curtains are closed. You are more than welcome to walk around the house. The bathroom is next door if you would like to get cleaned.” Halsin gave him a slight smile.

Truth be told the only thing he wanted to do at the moment was turn into a bear, find a nice sunspot and sleep.

“Thank you, I appreciate this.” There was a slight tightness in Astarion’s voice.

Halsin only nodded, closing the door behind him, leaving Astarion alone in the room.

Astarion forced himself to breathe as his knees gave in under him, making him sit on the hard floor. His eyes darted across the room. A small fire was going in the heart, heating the room nicely. The bed looked too comfortable to be true.

He shook his head, the only thing that made sense was the fact that he needed to get dressed in clean clothes. But the bed couldn’t be for him? Trouble, it will only mean trouble in the end he was certain of it.

With quick movements he got out of his travelling clothes, getting dressed in the new ones, before he laid down in front of the heart, enjoying the heat, allowing it to pull him into a trance. Everything was happening too fast, his mind still felt like it was reeling.

Still, the tiredness finally pulled him under into a fitful trance.

Halsin wasn’t sure how long he just laid in the sunspot, the stress finally leaving his body when he felt the shift in the air. He forced himself upright, changing out of his wild shape, before he made his way to check on Astarion.

A small knock and nothing, another knock. Nothing.

Finally, he opened the door a smidge, frowning when he saw Astarion on the floor. Twisting around as if he was trapped in his mind.

He crouched down gently shaking Astarion awake.

Astarion sat up with a start his body shaking as his eyes scanned his surroundings.

“Breath, Little Star. You are alright. He is dead.” Halsin kept his hand on Astarion’s shoulder, keeping him still but not pushing him down.

It took a few minutes before Astarion was able to breathe normally again, to look Halsin in the eyes.

“Let’s get you into bed.” Halsin gently helps the omega up.

Astarion was struggling to get his limbs to move. His hand tightened slightly around’s Halsin hand as he tried to get his limbs to work. Halsin easily picked Astarion up, holding him close as he placed the omega into the bed.

Pulling the covers up and tucking Astarion into the bed. He gently ran his fingers through the white locks.

“Try and sleep, you are safe.” Halsin sat with him until he fell back into a trance.

Closing his eyes for a second, this was going to be an uphill battle.

Chapter Text

Astarion stared at the door, faintly hearing Aria and Halsin speaking from somewhere in the house. A part of him was curious to see the house and explore, but another part screamed at him that he needed just to stay put.

If they wanted to see him, they would come and get him. He shook his head slightly. Halsin did tell him that he was free to explore. He bit the inside of his lip slightly before he forced himself upright walking to the door.

He just stood in front of the door, wondering if it would be fine.

Just go there, if it is wrong, he would be able to deal with the punishment. Maybe it is already wrong to just stay in the room. Then there is also punishment. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

He could feel the tremble in his hands as he pushed the door open. Glad that the house was in a semblance of darkness he took a step forward. Forcing himself to move to the sound of the voices.

It didn’t take him long to find them in the kitchen. “Hi.” His voice was soft as he walked in. He forced himself to meet their eyes.  Even though all he wanted to do was turn tailed and move away.

Halsin’s eyes brightened. “Hey there Little Star. How are you feeling?” His voice was calm as he pushed himself upright.

“Good thank you Alpha.” Astarion tried to smile, feeling unsure of what was expected of him.

“Come sit. We are almost going to eat, we weren’t sure if you would like boar blood, but we extracted it for you.” Halsin pulled a chair out, waiting for Astarion to sit down before he gently pushed him back in.

“It would be perfect, thank you.” Astarion focuses on what Aria is doing as she moves around the kitchen. It looked like she got at least some proper sleep.

It didn’t take long before Aria and Halsin were seated again. A goblet of blood was placed in front of Astarion, and then they both sat down with their plates. A silence fell over them, everyone in their heads.

The only sounds that could be heard were the sound of chewing and drinking.

Astarion drank slowly the blood, just savouring the food. It wasn’t as good as humanoid blood, but it was greatness against the putrid rats he got once in a blue moon. It filled him up, making him feel warm and fuzzy.

When they were finally done, Aria sat forward slightly. Her eyes were bright as she looked at Astarion, the curiosity was clear for anyone to see.

Her voice was warm as she started to speak. “We previously discussed the fact that you never wanted to be a vampire.”

Astarion tensed up as he listened to her speak, wondering where she was going with it.

Aria held up her hand when she noticed the tension strumming around the omega. She could admit that she would also be sceptical.

“I know it is a lot, but there is a potion, that will make it possible. The only problem is it will revert your body to how it was just before you died.” The last part came out slightly faster than she would have liked.

Astarion was silent as he processed her words. His mind going a mile a minute.

“If we do this, and it seems that I won’t make it, promise me you won’t force it?” He wishes that it came out more as a statement, but he would have to trust them. He feared what it could mean for him.

What if they decided that it would be better to keep him in that weakened state, but alive? Just for the hell to start over again? He rather burn himself alive than go through it again.

 “Of course. I promise you, that we will do our best to keep you safe.” Aria gave him an encouraging smile. Before she pushed herself upright. “If you will excuse me, I have a few things that I need to get ready.

Another silence fell over them, Astarion stared at his hands before he stood up. Slowly starting to clear the table. Rinsing the plates before he neatly stacked them, getting ready to wash them. He jumped slightly when a warm hand was suddenly placed on his shoulder.

“Let’s have a seat little one.” Halsin gave him a warm smile gently leading him away to the outside.

Taking a seat under a tree. Astarion fiddled with his clothes, trying to hide his nerves.

“How are you feeling after everything?” Halsin could see the tension strumming through his body even though he was trying very hard to hide his fear.

Astarion was silent for a moment, trying to take stock of how he was feeling, but there was nothing that would come out. Everything sounded mean even to him. And he had nothing but to be grateful for them.

“Even the bad, Little Star. This isn’t an easy time for you.” Halsin wished that he could take some of the pain away, but he knew that there was nothing that he would be able to do. Only time would be able to heal some of the wounds.

“Scared.” The word was so quiet that Halsin had to spit his ears to hear properly. “And it is stupid. I… I am grateful…” He glanced at Halsin, hoping that he didn’t have to continue, but the silence stretched between them. “And you feel safe.” Tears pricked at his eyes at the silent admission.

As if a dam wall broken, Astarion just continued to speak. “And it is stupid to be scared, you and Ma’am have nothing but to be nice to me.” He pulled his knees to his chest. “And it feels like it is only a matter of time before it will be back to before. I don’t deserve this. I will do something that will make you tired of me.” Astarion finally stilled.

His body shook slightly as silent tears were streaming down his cheeks.

“May I?” Halsin moved slightly closer, his arms open.

A small nod was his only answer. Before he gently pulled Astarion onto his lap, easily holding him against his chest, just holding him.

“I know this is scary, but I promise you with time, you will see that there will be clarity.” Halsin smiled gently as the omega in his arms.

The silence was comforting.

Chapter Text

The silence that surrounded them was almost overwhelming. Astarion picked at his pants as he watched Aria, bought out bottles of potions. Maybe this is a bad idea, he closed his eyes. He just started to get used to them and now another change.

Maybe it is something that can wait.

“Are you okay?” Aria’s voice was light as she settled the last bottle onto the table, turning to face Astarion properly.

“Just a bad feeling.” The words came out forced as if it was a sin to admit. Red eyes glared at the floor; he bit his lip as he waited for a response.

“Everything will be alright Astarion. It is scary the unknown is always frightening. But Halsin and I will both be there to ensure you are safe. And I got all sorts of medicines ready that you may need. We will look after you, that I can promise you.” Aria gave him an encouraging smile as she patted the bed, to show that he needed to sit down.

Astarion could feel the stiffness in his limbs as he sat down next to Aria. He kept his eyes on the floor as he felt the bed sink beneath him.

“What can you remember of that night? Aria wished that Astarion would look up, but she knew that it wasn’t going to happen. Immediately Astarion stiffened, his hands pale as they gripped tightened.

“Not all that much. All that stood out from that night.” Astarion fell quiet he couldn’t bring himself to continue. His mind was already hurting. He didn’t want to tell anyone the things that happened.

“Alright, we will prepare for the worst then. I am going to give you a pain and calming potion after you drink the potions. It will help you to deal with your body going back to living. Do you think there is anything else we can do to help you? Maybe a teddy bear something to hold?” Aria tried to think of anything else that might help.

Only a head shake was her answer.

“Are you ready?” Aria moved to grab the potion, handing it to Astarion.

Astarion’s hand shook as he took the potion, before he could second guess himself, he drank it down. Choking slightly on the taste. A second later a second potion was handed to him, blood red he faintly noted.

Iron, he could taste the iron in the potion. He glanced up at Aria, waiting for something to happen, but at least for the moment nothing.

“It will take a few minutes before it starts to kick in. Two more, then I want you to lay down for me please.” Aria handed him the last two, watching as he drank them.

It took a few seconds before Astarion managed to find a semi-comfortable position he settled down, closing his eyes as he waited for something. He could faintly hear Aria move around the room, but he didn’t bother to watch her.

“Fuck.” The word slipped out as pain suddenly hit him like a rock. He grabbed his arm, trying to breathe through the pain.

Aria was next to him when she heard the word. Her hands were cool against the burning skin as she started to check him out.

“You are okay. Just try and breathe for me.” Aria kept her voice calm as she crouched down. She could hear the bones breaking, his breathing spiking as pain overwhelmed him.

Astarion slashed at Aria, as another set of pain spiked, forcing him from the bed. Get away, get away from here. He collapses against the wall, pressing himself closer to the wall. Get away, get away. His eyes closed for a second.

“Little Star, breathe, you are safe.” A new voice made him shudder. “It is a lot I know, but you are safe. I need you to breathe for me.” Halsin. It felt like the voice was coming through a cloud. A whimper slipped through his lips as he was pulled up.

He fell slightly, but the arms around his waist tightened. Holding him up.

“Let’s get you back into the bed.” The voice was warm.

Not safe, not safe. Master will be mad.

“Are you okay?” He could faintly hear the male voice, and then a softer female voice. “Yeah, it is just a scratch.”

“Divide and conquer? Aria asked softly. One will focus on healing while the other focus on keeping him calm.

“Yeah, I am going to lift him, keep your magic centred.” Halsin easily explained. “It will hopefully help keep him calm.” From the amount of pain even with the pain potion it is clear it will be a lot to keep Astarion calm.

Aria easily slipped onto the bed, allowing Astarion to rest his head on her lap. Blue light surrounded her hands as she focused on keeping him calm. She could faintly see Halsin starting to examine Astarion.

Now and then the spike was clear as panic overwhelmed the link. It wasn’t long before the link fell quiet as Astarion lost consciousness.

Chapter Text

Halsin frowned slightly when he checked on Astarion. The elf was burning up. With easy movements he got a cold cloth, laying it down on his head, hoping it would get the fever down.

If it doesn’t go down, he would need to give him another fever potion.  He gently ran his fingers through the white locks. Their only comfort now was the slow unsteady beat of his heart, which showed the potion did its work.

The rest was now up to them, to protect him and get him through this safely. Halsin smiled slightly. Even as injured as he was, he fought back with a furiosity that few people would have expected.

Unfortunately, Aria was the one who had to handle the brunt of it. She is now on the floor with an ice pack on her face.

A few more minutes passed as he rechecked the fever, his frown deepened as he moved to wake him. It took a few seconds before hazy blue eyes met his.

“Hi there, drink this for me please.” Halsin kept his voice steady as he pressed the bottle against Astarion’s mouth, hoping that he would work with him. “Drink.” A command, simple yet effective as he immediately followed the order.

Astarion could only stare at the hazy figure, tiredness or something else was weighing him down. All he wanted to do was go to sleep and never wake up again. Something cool settled against his heated skin making him sign.

“Go back to sleep. Your body needs rest.” Halsin kept his voice soft as he gently tucked the blankets lower, hoping it would help as well.

All Astarion could do was follow the command, at least it was easy with how tired he was feeling.

“Is he okay?” Aria’s voice was soft as she opened the door, giving Halsin a slight smile. The ice pack seemed to do the trick swelling around the eye was already going down.

“He has a very high fever. I just gave him some meds now, so hopefully it will do the trick. If it doesn’t go down unfortunately it will mean a cold bath.” Halsin grimaced slightly at the idea.

“We can also do cold towels before we go for a bath. Might be slightly easier.” Aria pinched her nose slightly. A sign left her lips. “He will need to eat before we give anything else again. I am going to make some soup for him. Call me if you need help.” She gently pats Halsin's arm before she disappears from the room.

Halsin wasn’t sure how long he was reading when there was sniffling from the bed. Astarion fought with the bedding as if he was trying to get away from someone.

“Please Master, no more. I can’t take anymore.” Astarion fell to the floor, scurrying away from Cazador as he came closer, pressing himself against the wall, wishing that it would disappear. He could faintly feel blood dripping down his legs.

Strong hands wrapped around his shoulders, forcing him upright. “Let me go.” He was kicking out, but there was nothing.

“Astarion, breathe, you are safe.” Halsin kept his grip gently as he stilled the younger, he tried to keep the pressure as light as possible, to not send him into a deeper panic attack.

It took a few minutes before Astarion managed to fully wake up. Hands were pressing him down, making the panic spike, but the voice was soft and soothing, He tried to rather focus on the person speaking than the panic.

“There we go, breath for me little one.” Halsin watched as Astarion slowly started to get his breathing under control.

Astarion finally settled beneath the hands. His mind blank as he tried to take stock of his body. All he could feel was pain. No respite from the pain.

“I am going to let you go. You need to be still. You have a few bad breaks that are healing.” Halsin slowly took his hands away, unsure whether Astarion would bolt as soon as he had a chance. But at last, it seemed that he was listing.

“Nightmare?” Halsin moved slightly away giving him some space.

“Yes, Sir.” The words were tired. Astarion shivered slightly. Why does it feel like someone turned down the heat in the room?

“You have a very high fever; we need to cool you down before you can be covered again.” Halsin saw the shivers, moving closer again to feel his head. Still warm but at least not as high as previously. He pulled the covers up, tucking Astarion in properly.

The silence that filled the room was overwhelming as Astarion tried to focus on anything but the pain his body was in. And the eyes on him.

Chapter Text

“Master please, I don’t… I can’t… Alpha please.” Astarion begged as he tried to pull his wrist free from the grip as he was dragged to the ballroom—fresh tears staining his cheeks. “Please Master, I will be good. I promise.” A feeble promise wasn’t a day that he knew whether he was good.

No matter how hard he tried. It was never good enough. The grip tightened around his wrist before he was suddenly dragged into the office, before he could really understand what happened, he was pushed against the table, and his pants torn off his legs.

He fell silent as his Master pushed him forward, firmly against the table. Hoping that if he got what he wanted he wouldn’t be forced in front of the alphas. Forced to take them whether his body could take it or not.

A slap rang out, Astarion twitched against the table, unsure what his master expected of him. The spanking continued until he was crying properly again.

“What am I going to do with you boy? So ungrateful for everything I gave you. For providing for you even when you can’t produce an heir for me. And now you don’t want to entertain my guests?” Another slap contacted the red skin, making him jump.

“Maybe if I remind you to who you belong you will start to listen.” Cazador forced himself into the tight hole, ignoring the way Astarion scrambled to get away from the pain. His body shook as he was forced to still.

“You are mine, little one. You will always be mine, even when you must be a perfect little whore. Do you understand?” A hand settled around his neck, choking him.

Black spots danced in front of his eyes as he was used. Nothing more than a toy. A perfect little doll for the master.

“Wake up, Little Star.” A voice drifted through the nightmare, forcing Astarion to focus on the softness rather than his mind. It took a few more minutes before he was able to completely pull him from the nightmare.

His hands went to his eyes feeling the wetness there. He forced himself to breathe trying to regain control of himself, but it was as if there was nothing to control. He could feel the panic overwhelming him

Halsin frowned slightly before he pulled Astarion’s hand against his chest. “Follow my breathing.” He could clearly see the struggle in Astarion’s eyes as he tried to follow the command.

It took a few minutes before Astarion managed to get his breathing under control. “Sorry. I’m sorry.” The words came out in a mumble. Stuttered air left his lips as he moved to look at the bed, hoping it would hide the fear.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Halsin kept his voice low. Hoping that he wouldn’t spook the younger too much.

Astarion could only shake his head. His hand slightly plays with the bedding. Waiting for the anger to come for taking up the alpha’s time. Too nice, it must be a game they are playing. No one is just nice for the sake of being nice.

“That is alright. Do you think you will be able to eat?” Halsin’s hand twitched, and the urge to comfort was strong, but it was clear to anyone with two eyes that the omega was already stressed no need to make it worse.

Sharp blue eyes met him, for a moment Halsin could see hope before it was gone again.

“It is just soup, but it is all that you would be able to eat until your stomach is used to food again. It is one of Aria’s favourites to make.” Halsin moved to the table picking up a bowl, the soup still fresh from the stasis spell they had it under.

Astarion tilted his head slightly his eyes following Halsin. He froze slightly as the older sat down on the bed, bowl still in hand.

“Are you fine with me feeding you? I can always get Aria as well.” Halsin settled as he looked at Astarion. He smiled slightly as he noticed the way Astarion was eyeing the bowl.

It took a second before Astarion managed to answer, his voice was hoarse from the crying. “You can feed me.” His hand tightened slightly into the bedding before he managed to look up again, forcing himself to relax.

With a few careful manoeuvrings, Halsin started to feed him, he could see that Astarion was trying to keep himself under control. The slight twitching of his hand, as if he wanted to steal the bowl from him.

When they got about halfway through, Astarion had to shake his head, frustrated at the fact that he couldn’t eat anymore. He already felt uncomfortably full of the food.

“It is okay, Little Star. You did well.” Halsin kept the praise easy as he placed the bowl back onto the table, reactivating the spell. He turned to face Astarion again. “Lay back down. You need rest.” He gave him a gentle smile.

A pang of warmth spread through Astarion at the praise. He could feel tiredness pulling him back under, but he couldn’t bring himself to fall back asleep, only looked at Halsin as he settled back down, starting to read again.

Astarion wasn’t sure how long he stared before darkness pulled him back under.

Chapter Text

Aria hummed slightly under her breath; her eyes were bright as she opened the curtains. The week was a bit on the long side, but at least it was finally starting to look up. Astarion finally started to eat. Still just soups and soft foods, but at least he was eating and drinking.

And they managed to break the fever he was running. Coming and going.

Today was the day, he would start to move outside again. Hopeful that it wouldn’t cause a panic attack, but it would do him good to get some fresh air. He couldn’t just stay in the dark room. She dried her hands against her pants as she moved to the room.

Knocking softly, when she heard them come in, she easily slipped in, seeing Halsin reading as Astarion napped. The room was warm, but it was almost stuffy. Her nose wrinkled. It was time to clean the room, and air it out. It was clear that it was needed.

“Everything alright?” Halsin’s voice was soft as he watched her move closer.

“Yeah, it is a nice warm day. Do you think that Astarion would manage to get some fresh air?” Make sure to whisper.

Halsin was silent for a few seconds before he nodded. “He should be fine. I will take him out.” Halsin shook his head at the sudden possessiveness that went through his mind. Pushing the feeling away. The last thing that Astarion needed was someone hovering around him.

“Alright. I will air out here and get clean linen on the bed.” Aria gave him an easy smile. Placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Thank you.” Halsin gave her a tired smile before he pushed himself upright. Stretching out slightly before he moved to Astarion. He gently shook the younger awake. Giving him enough space that he can wake up peacefully.

“HI there.” Halsin watched silently as Astarion whipped at his eyes.

“Hi, Alpha.” The words were slightly slurred his voice filled with sleep. It took a few minutes before he was completely awake. He tried to blink away the tiredness away. His smile was slightly loopy.

“How are you feeling?” Halsin kept his voice low, warmth slipped through.

Astarion was silent for a few seconds, as he took stock of his body, trying to figure out what he was feeling. His arm and legs were itching from the casts he had on. His ribs were tight but overall, there wasn’t much pain, just some irritation.

“Fine, thank you, Alpha.” Astarion looked up into amber eyes, He frowned slightly as he scratched at his arm. It still felt strange to know that he could eat, to live a normal life. To be able to feel his heart beating.

“We are taking you outside today.” Halsin knew that it is easier to just be told what is going to happen, instead of given a choice.

Astarion froze up suddenly, for a moment fear flicked through his eyes before he only nodded. He knew that it would be fine, he could feel his heart, he was alive. But still, a part of him was fear, fear that it was only a fluke, that as soon as his skin touched his skin, he would burn.

“It will be okay Little Star. But you can not stay in the room the whole time, it is also not healthy. You need some fresh air.” Halsin tried to keep it gentle. 

“Yes, Alpha.” Astarion easily answered, he forced the fear away from his mind. They wouldn’t do something that would hurt him, not when they worked so hard to get him healthy. Would they?

“I am going to pick you up.” The small heads-up made Astarion calm, as he kept his eyes on Halsin. A whimper slipped through Astarion’s lips as he was lifted, pain shooting through his legs.

Halsin gently adjusted Astarion, feeling him snuggled against his chest. It didn’t take long before they were outside, Astarion tensed as he waited for the pain to happen, but there was nothing.

With gentle movements, Halsin lowered Astarion onto the blanket. He smiled as Astarion turned to face the sun properly. A small smile on his lips as he felt the heat for the first time in such a long time.

He could feel tears prickling his eyes. This couldn’t be real.

When Halsin stood to move away, Astarion grabbed his hand, his eyes were big. “Please stay.”  His voice wobbled slightly as he let Halsin's hand fall from his grip.

“Of course, Little Star.” Halsin settled down next to Astarion, making sure that he sat so that Astarion could enjoy the sun.

The silence between them stretched before Astarion managed to find his tongue. “Thank you for helping me.” The words were soft, at the most a mere whisper. Halsin smiled slightly.

“It is no problem Little Star.” Halsin closed his eyes for a moment. He could faintly hear the village bustling with people.

Astarion bit his tongue, the urge to make conversation was strong, but he didn’t have anything to speak about, plus with still unsure if questions and normal talking were allowed. It did seem like he was allowed to speak.

Before Astarion could climb too much into his mind, Halsin spoke. “Tell me about yourself.” Halsin gave him an easy smile.

“There isn’t much to tell.” For a moment Astarion wished that he could pull his legs up, to hold them close to his chest, but unfortunately, it wasn’t possible. “I can’t remember much of my life before Cazador.” The last part came out bitter.

Halsin hummed slightly. “That is okay, you still have a long time to make new memories. New experiences, your past doesn’t need to define you.” The words came out easily. Halsin knew how hard it could be. The healing process could never be just linear.

“What about you? What is your story?” Astarion made sure that his voice was as respectful as possible. Hoping that he would be humoured.

“I grew up here in Moonvines. It isn’t very big, but everyone cares about everyone. Most of us who live here are druids, so we move around a lot. I am an archdruid.” Halsin could see the question in Astarion’s eyes. So, he stilled for a second.

“What is an archdruid?” Astarion couldn’t help but feel stupid, knowing that he missed a ton of stuff he needed to learn when he was still under his parents.

“I am a leader of the circle here; it is just extra responsibilities in the circle.” Halsin smiled as he continued. “Every circle has its god they worship, we worship Silvanus. Here and there you will find someone that worships another god or goddess.

Aria for example worship the goddess Mielikki. But they are always welcome in our circles.” Halsin fell silent again. He could see Astarion deep in thought. Before he shook is head.

“Will you tell me more about Silvanus please?” Astarion couldn’t bring himself to say, how long he had begged the gods and goddesses for help, but they never answered. Why would anyone want to worship them?

But those words he kept for himself, listing as Halsin explained how they worship. He could feel his relax under the gentle words. His mind drifted slightly to a better future.

Maybe it would be alright here.

Chapter Text

Astarion leaned slightly back, he closed his eyes, as he forced himself to breathe. The pain was almost overwhelming. His brow furrowed slightly. It was supposed to get better, not worse. A hand that settled on his shoulder made him jump slightly.

Halsin frowned when he saw the tension running through Astarion. “What’s wrong?” He could see the way Astarion clenched his fingers into his pants as if he was trying to keep himself under control.

“Just a bad day.” The words were a mere whisper.

“Are you in pain?” Halsin immediately went to get a pain potion. A small nod was his only answer. “Understandably, your body is still healing, and it is a miserable day, the cold moves into joints.” He gently helps Astarion to drink the potion, allowing him to rest for a moment against his chest.

Astarion leaned back, “What do you mean about the cold?” His voice was hoarse as he hoped the potion would kick in.

“Mother always said that the cold moves into injured joints, especially when something is still healing or not properly healed. I don’t know how true It is, but it is something that I noticed with patients.” Halsin smiled as his mind went back to a memory.

Blue eyes drifted to the window, where the clouds were covering the sun.

“It will more than likely rain today. Aria also sent word that she is staying home today. Is there something you would like to do?” Halsin rambled slightly.

“Don’t know Alpha.” Astarion shrugged slightly. Truth be told he was tired, all he wanted to do was just to get back to sleep, ever since he woke in the morning. All he felt was an almost numbness growing in his heart.

Halsin frowned slightly as he saw the way Astarion made himself small. His body was tense. “Would you like some alone time?” His voice was gentle, he would admit that they were suffocating the omega slightly. Always making sure that one of them was with him.

White hair shifted slightly as Astarion tilted his head. He bit his lip slightly as the words went through his mind. It would be nice to be actually to gather his thoughts, to just have a moment to breathe.

“Please.” The word slipped out before he could stop himself.

“Of course, little one, I will be in the living room, you can just call me if you need me.” Halsin smiled gently as he slipped from the room, leaving Astarion with his thoughts.

Astarion just sat there for a little bit, his eyes trained on the window, watching the clouds darkening as time went on. With a small groan, he forced himself to stand, a pained whimper slipped through his lips as he balanced himself against the wall.

It took more effort to get to the bag, his fingers shook as he pulled it from the table, the weight making him groan from the strain.

 He took a deep breath as he slowly made his way to the heart. Settling down in front of the fire, he pulled out his sewing kit, silently thanking Aria, for getting his stuff out of Caazdor’s palace.

It gave him something   to focus on, even if it took even longer to work, his hand tiring faster as he struggled to keep a hold of the material.

His mind slowly quieted down as he worked, his focus becoming laser-focused.

Astarion jumped when thunder crashed. The material fell to the floor, as he looked to the window. Rain pattered against the window. Wind howling.

“Little Star.” Halsin pressed the door open, biting his lip when he saw Astarion on the floor. He could only shake his head as he saw the work lying next to him. “Can I close the curtain for you?”

Another crash. “Please.” Astarion couldn’t help but keep looking at the storm raging outside. For a moment he felt at peace. The storm almost explained how his emotions felt.

Halsin quickly closed the curtain. “Are you okay?” He saw the small twitches as thunder crashed, making Astarion jump each time.

“Yeah, just not used to storms like these.” He tried to give Halsin an easy smile, but he was certain it came out more like a grimace.

“Would you like to come and sit with me in the living room?” Maybe it would help to distract in another room. “You can bring your sewing with you.” Halsin saw the discreet way Astarion eyed his work.

Astarion was silent for a few seconds. “That would be nice.” He quickly started to gather the materials, placing them back into the bag.

“Alpha.” Astarion whimpered slightly when he was suddenly picked up. Halsin only smiled as he carried him to the living room.

“You know you are not cleared yet for free movement little star. You still have a few weeks to go before the casts would come off. How did you even manage to get your bag?” There was a little bit of a chide in Halsin's voice.

Immediately Astarion could feel his cheeks flush. “I used to wall to keep my balance.” Anger builds in his chest. He wasn’t a child; he couldn’t keep on relying on them. They will get tired of helping him the whole time.

Halsin signed slightly as he gently placed Astarion onto a cushion in front of the fire. “Little Star, please just ask if you want something, it is only for a little bit, then you will be able to move around freely. Just three more weeks.”

Astarion glared at the ground, forcing himself to breathe through the anger that was coursing through his chest. He could only nod, fearing that if he spoke it would lead to a fight.

Finally, Astarion forced himself to look up, when Halsin settled next to him.

“Talk to me, Little Star,” Almost like a command.

Astarion bit his lip, uncertain of what Halsin wanted him to talk about. He could faintly feel angry tears burning his eyes.

“What are you feeling? It would help if you spoke about everything.” Halsin gently pushed him to open up.

He could only shake his head. Feeling his throat closing. His hand went up to his throat as panic settled in, too much. This was too much. Why were they pushing for speaking about that? It wouldn’t change anything.

Warm hands settled around him, as he was pulled into a hug. Halsin just held him, he could faintly hear him telling him to follow his breathing.

Astarion wasn’t certain how long they sat there, before he managed to calm down, finally settling down as the tiredness pulled him under. Halsin could only shake his head as he held Astarion as he fell asleep.

Chapter Text

“Evening.” Halsin smiled as Astarion woke up. He glanced out of the window, where it was still pouring. He could faintly feel a hand grip his chest, as he wiped the sleep from his eyes.

“Hi.” Astarion’s voice was heavy with sleep. Warmth surrounded him, and he could still hear the pouring rain, the patter lulling his mind into a quiet bliss, that he couldn’t help but wonder if he could stay there.

“How are you feeling?” Halsin gently ran his fingers through the white locks, allowing Astarion to snuggle closer. He hummed slightly and gently pushed himself upright, ensuring Astarion was secured.

There was a silence for a moment, before Astarion shrugged slightly, “I’m okay.” His body was blissfully numb, all he wanted to do was go back to sleep.

“Are you hungry?” Halsin settled Astarion on a chair before he took a slight step back, knowing that they hadn’t eaten enough through the day. Still, Astarion shook his head. Not not in the mood to eat.

Halsin frowned slightly, “You need to eat Little Star, do you maybe want to try and eat something a little more solid?”

Astarion tilted his head slightly. He wanted to ask what Halsin had in mind, instead a small yes slipped through his lips. He was ready to kick himself, but he forced the thoughts out of his mind.

“I thought I could make some mash and gravy today.” Halsin pulled a few things out of the cupboard as he placed them on the table.

Halsin could see the way Astarion bit his lip slightly as he looked at the food, unsure of what to make of the potatoes. “We boil some potatoes, and when it is cooked, we just mash it up.” Halsin easily explained as he worked.

From the corner of his eyes, he could see Astarion settled down, just watching him work.

“What were you working on?” Halsin tried to pull Astarion into an easy conversation, hoping that it would get him to relax slightly.

Blue eyes looked up immediately, and Astarion swallowed slightly. “I’m working on a shirt for Aria.” He whispered the last part. Unsure of what Astarion would make of it. He forced himself to continue. “She is fierce, the red and gold would look beautiful on her.”

Halsin smiled slightly. “How did you get started with sewing?” Halsin tried to get the conversation going. Instead, Astarion looked at the floor, biting his lip.

Astarion made sure that Halsin kept his back to him, before he looked back at the floor, forcing himself to speak. “I got to learn when I went to Cazador, he expected perfection.” Astarion fell silent again.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Halsin turned to face Astarion properly, the water boiling in the back.

A shrug was his only answer. He couldn’t help but feel that Halsin was pushing with a reason but he didn’t know why he was pushing this. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, as he tried to gather his thoughts.

He swallowed the bile back as he forced himself to speak. “Master, expected me to know how to sew when I first got there.” A bitter laugh slipped through his lips. “But I was still in the learning phase. He was so angry the first time.” Astarion fell silent unsure of whether he wanted to continue. Half expecting Halsin to push, instead, they sat in silence.

Astarion wasn’t certain how long he just sat in silence before he finally managed to speak again. “He cut my arm, forcing me to sew it shut.” His voice quivered slightly as he looked up. He could feel tears burning his eyes.

“Just to do it again, and again. And when he wasn’t happy with how it looked, he would reopen the wound. The more pain, the more I messed it up.” A silent admission. Astarion tried to force himself, but a warm hand kept him in place.

“Stay, you can cry.” Halsin felt bile in his mouth, wishing he could kill Cazador all over again. Astarion leaned slightly forward, laying down on his arm, hiding his face as the tears started to flow. He could feel Halsin next to him, gently running his fingers through his hair, giving him some comfort.

When Halsin finally moved away to check on the food, Astarion forced himself to look up. He knew that he must look like a hot mess, still, Halsin sat down next to him, giving him space if wanted, but still near enough if he wanted comfort.

The silence was almost overwhelming, but Astarion couldn’t bring himself to say anything else, the urge to just close his eyes and go back to sleep was strong. Just there everything feels a little bit better than being alive.

Chapter Text

Astarion wasn’t certain how long they just sat there, his eyes burning from the tears that fell. A part of his mind screamed at him that he needed to be silent. Tears may fall, but it was best not to make a sound.

A warm hand settled on his shoulder, “You do not need to stifle yourself Little Star, let it out, would you prefer to be on your own for a little bit?” Halsin’s voice was calm as he spoke.

Immediately Astarion shook his head, knowing that if he needed to deal with his thoughts, he might just go mad, at least with Halsin there, if he grew tired, it would be easy to shut him up. A fresh sob slipped through; his hand placed against his lips as if it would keep the sound in.

Halsin frowned slightly. “May I touch you?” Halsin wished that he could take the pain away, but he knew how hard it could be on a bloody good day, to just live. When trauma is still so fresh, to be away from it.

A small nod was his only answer.

With gentle movements, he pulled Astarion into a hug, holding him against his chest. He could feel Astarion stiff as if he was unsure what to make of the hug, a fleeting thought slipped through his mind, that the younger, properly never gotten a proper hug in a long time.

Finally, Astarion settled, wrapping his arms around Halsin.

“I have you, you can cry Little Star. Just let the pain out.” Sometimes a person just needed a good cry to get the feelings out, hopefully, it would help a little bit.

Astarion tried to stifle the crying for a few more minutes before it finally became too much. It was as if a dam wall just broke. Between broken sobs, Astarion just started to speak.

“He hated it when I cried loudly. The silence was always preferred. The more tears there were, the worse the punishment would be. But at the same time, he wanted us to scream for him, but it would also make him angry and then the punishment would start afresh.

He said my screams were the prettiest, what does that even mean?” His voice broke slightly, “Screams are not pretty. It just hurt the ears and throat.” The number of times he lost his voice in punishments was too many to count.

Astarion pulled back slightly, angrily whipping at his eyes, he wasn’t even certain why he was angry. It is different now. He was finally safe, wasn’t he? Halsin didn’t so far get angry with him, he was calm and looked after him.

Made sure that he ate and drank, made sure that the stupid wounds were healing. Make sure that he doesn’t do something stupid, so why does he still feel like he should only wait for the shoe to drop?

At one point, Halsin and Aria would get tired of him and then what? He had no idea how to live a normal life, he had no idea what the future holds and truly it was scary. Wonder the whole time when the next thing would happen.

“Careful.” Halsin easily caught his wrist pulling his hand away from his eyes. “There we go.” He gave Astarion an easy smile as he took a step back, to get a wet cloth. He made sure he moved fast, before he was back, gently cleaning Astarion’s face.

An easy smile as he took a step back. He crouched down slightly to be more eye level with Astarion.

“It is alright to be mad, it is alright to want to scream at the world, to want revenge. But please do not take it out on your body. You deserve to heal, to have a chance at a normal life.” Halsin was slightly stricter than normal.

Astarion glanced down slightly before he forced himself to speak. “I don’t know what a normal life looks like, when I was younger, my parents always wanted to have another alpha son, to make a better standing in life.

They had my life planned before I was even born. Father was so mad the whole time while I was growing up, that I fucked up their plans. What is normal Alpha?” His voice broke slightly as he gave Halsin a begging look.

Halsin was silent for a few seconds as if he was thinking. “Well normal would look different for everyone, someone might be an adventure, to seek the trills of life. Then you will get someone who perforce to foil the day away in the gardens, to enjoy nature.

Someone else would be a parent, maybe married, with a bunch of kids running around the house. For each of those three people, their lives would be different, their normal would be different going from house to house.

The real question is, what would you like your normal to look like?”  Halsin leaned slightly back, giving Astarion some space.

The younger was silent for a few seconds before he finally spoke. “I don’t know, all I was ever told is that I needed to be a good omega, that I needed to give my alpha a litter of pups. I was never able to do that, so I am not even a good omega.” Insecurities leaked through his words.

“Little Star, you need to remember that your body was under a lot of pressure and stress. It makes sense that you couldn’t do it. It was never your fault.” Halsin wished he could drill it into his mind, but he knew that this would take a long time.

“We will be here the whole time Little Star. When you are ready you will find your normal.” Halsin made the promise. And he will make sure that it happens.

Chapter Text

“Hey there.” Aria’s voice was alight with joy as she arranged flowers on the kitchen table. Astarion tilted his head slightly as he shuffled closer. He was silent as he just watched her place the different colour flowers into the vase.

“Do you want to help?” She could see the curiosity blooming in his eyes, and for a moment she couldn’t help but wonder if he ever did stuff like this.

“Yes please.” His voice was soft as he carefully took a step closer, his hand trembled slightly. He could hear her hum something before a chair was pulled closer for him, allowing him to work with her.

“Sit, will you help me arrange them by colour please?” She took a slight step back as she looked deeply at the arrangement she was working on. With deft fingers, she changed the arrangement slightly before she hummed again and moved the vase to the side.

“This is a Rain Lily. They normally grow just after a thunderstorm; they represent that there are still beautiful beginnings even after a harsh thunderstorm. And then we have Daisies for when something new is starting.” Her voice was soft as she explained the flowers he was busy separating.

For the first time since he knew Aria, Astarion could see why she was a druid. She always had the air around her of nobility but for now the way she had a love for nature. He shrugged slightly his shoulders; it didn’t matter.

“What are you going to use the flowers for?” His voice was low as he quickly glanced up before he started the separation again. He had never seen so many flowers in his life. And the scent for a moment he could almost say it felt like he was home.

“It is almost time for an elf to be born, we will celebrate the new life that is coming into the world with a ritual event, give his mother some time to prepare since it would be her first.” Aria easily answered as she looked up. She could easily see the confusion on Astarion’s face, she leaned slightly back.

“Did you ever partake in rituals?” She softened her voice slowly.

Astarion could feel the frustration of the question brought to him. He swallowed the knot that formed in his throat at the thought of how much was stripped away from him.

“No, Dad didn’t want the world to see me when I was younger and well Cazador just allowed me to please people no matter what event he was holding.” He shrugged slightly it doesn’t matter in the long run, still he couldn’t help but feel curious about why they held these events.

“What happens at such a ritual?” He dropped the flower onto the table, facing Aria now properly.

“Well for the most part we will eat and make merry. It gives the mother a chance to ask other people who already have children what to expect and what can go wrong. What to do if something goes wrong what to do.

Remember we elves are pregnant for a year. And we also do not have a lot of elves that do get pregnant, so when someone is going to have the baby, we make sure the village is there for them.” She gave Astarion a gentle smile as he mulled over the words.

Learning for the first time something about his species, his parents never thought they needed to tell him.

They fell into a silence for a while, before Aria suddenly placed a Lily into his hair, making him blink owlish at her.

“There we go, all done.” She gave him an easy smile as she held out her hand.

To think almost a month had passed, yet he was smiling. It warmed her heart.

Chapter Text

Halsin smiled when he walked into the kitchen, the house smelling of flowers as he watched Aria and Astarion talking about the different plants. He took a deep breath as he settled his mind. The full moon was around the corner.

“Halsin. Ready for the weekend?” Aria looked up; her eyes bright as she smiled.

“Always, they are very excited about this. Miriam is just a little bit on her nerves, wondering how it is going to be.” He smiled slightly as he settled beside Astarion, who played somewhat with his fingers.

“Would you like to go with us, Little Star?” Halsin kept his voice even. Knowing that Astarion didn’t mingle with the village, fearful to leave out of the garden.

Astarion bit his lips as he looked at them for a few seconds before he shook his head. He just lifted his arm with the cast as an answer. A part of him felt glad that they wanted him to go with them.

“That is alright, there will always be a next time.” Aria easily answered. “Maybe you will be able to attend the harvest feast that will happen in two moons.”

Astarion pulled back slightly, as he shrugged his shoulder, unsure of what to say. His eyes glanced down to the floor. Swallowing the nerves away. He knew that he was safe with them, still, he couldn’t help but feel nervous about everything.

“What happens at such events?” Astarion’s voice was low as if he wasn’t certain he wanted to know. He couldn’t help but feel like so much was ripped from his life, and it felt like he would never be able to continue with that life.

Halsin easily smiled. “Well here, we celebrate the crops we have harvested for the year, we also have some competitions, this year is a cooking and baking competition that will happen. Last year we had a flower competition to see who could make the beautiful arrangements. There will always be a bonfire, and a lot of dancing.”

“That sounds nice.” Astarion swallowed the bitter feeling away as he looked slightly away. Aria and Halsin shared a look.

“Little Star, what’s wrong?” Halsin gave him a gentle smile, feeling the shifted mood. His voice was gentle as he gave the air a discreet sniff, smelling the despair coming from the omega.

“It just feels like there was so much ripped from my life and the more I see with you guys, I can’t help but feel a little bit jealous.” Astarion forced the words from his mouth, unsure of what to make of the feeling, still, it felt better with it out in the open.

“And that is understandable Little Star, your life is restarting for you, with time you will learn the rituals and events that had happened. And what you don’t understand we are here; we will help you with it.” Halsin crouched down in front of Astarion.

“I know that for now, it feels like hell, but just give it time. Do not let bitterness consume your heart, you still have many centuries in front that you can be excited about.” Halsin gently ran his fingers through the white locks.

Astarion only nodded as he bit his lip, unsure of what to say. Maybe there is some truth in there words.

Chapter Text

Astarion leaned slightly forward, his tongue gently pressed between his lips as he concentrated on finishing the blanket he made. Glad that the stupid casts were finally off.

He jumped slightly when a warm hand was placed on his shoulder before he relaxed again seeing Aria. He turned to face her, holding up the material. “What do you think?” There was a hint of excitement in his voice.

“It is beautiful. Is it for Halsin?” She teased the pale elf, immediately a blush spreading across his face.

Astarion scratched the back of his head slightly, suddenly shy. “Do you think he will like it?” His voice was soft as uncertainty settled in his stomach.

“I’m certain he will love it. Let me help you fold it.” Aria held out her hand, gently pulling him up after he grabbed her hand. With easy movements, they managed to get the blanket folded. And placed back on the bed.

“Aria, how did you end up here?” Astarion turned to face her properly, his eyes bright as Aria just smiled for a second, before she tilted her head, showing that Astarion needed to follow her.

Before long they were outside, sitting under a tree, enjoying the warmth that surrounded them. The silence stretched for a little while before she finally started to speak.

” I was born as an omega for a very influential family, unfortunately, my mother enjoyed sleeping around a little bit too much, father agreed to take care of me. My real father was a dragon-born, and that led me to be a dragon sorceress. For the most part, my magic was almost out of control when I was younger.

It freaked Mother out the most, she had no idea how to help train me. So, they did the most logical thing and sent me to a training camp for sorceress. And truth be told it was fine. I was finally with people that understood me. But the camp could only help us get our powers under some control.

When it was finished, Mother, wanted to marry me off.” She scoffed slightly. “I was around fifty when they decided that was the part forward for me. I ran when I found out. Between my magic and nature, I managed to find my why here.

A couple here took me under their wing. Teaching me how to properly control magic as a druid, and to live my life independently of what others expected from me. With their blessing, I travelled regularly between circles learning from the different druid teachings, but I always come back here.” She leaned back slightly; her eyes held a hint of sadness as she spoke before it was gone again.

“The people here will do anything and everything to make sure the people who live here are happy. I am glad that you are here with us.” Just as fast as the sadness was there the normal happiness was back in her eyes.

Astarion was silent for a little bit. “How are you always so happy?” He pulled his knees to his chest, laying his head sideways as he looked at her.

“I guess for the most part I don’t have something to be sad about, life is good for me. I have a wonderful family and friends. And I do things that I enjoy doing, so I can with all honesty say life is good.” She leaned backwards looking up at the trees.

The silence stretched between them as they just enjoyed the warmth and silence surrounding them. For a moment Astarion could admit that he could enjoy living here with them. It was safe and sound more than he ever knew.