Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You're annoying and weird. I already told you to leave me alone. I can take care of Code, or do you not think I can take care of myself?

"It's not that, Kawaki..."

His sun... His sun was still out.

It was a pretty discouraging situation. Mitsuki was desperate, he was looking for a light to guide him, to nourish him. But Kawaki just seemed to get worse every day.

He wanted to think it was due to his grief. No matter how much time passed, his friend was still reluctant to accept his help. He did not lower his defenses, he did not allow himself to be consoled or loved.

His sun was still sad. How to get him some of the shine back?

No matter how much he was rejected, he was still there. Because he understood it.

Father... It hurts me. It hurts me a lot.

What could this devastating feeling be?

Mitsuki didn't want to have to go through another memory restoration. He had already been saved from one before but... what could be said about this occasion?

He was afraid that would be necessary. He didn't want to erase the memories of him, for anything in the world at all. But even in that he was already failing.

Blurred, choppy fragments of scenes already experienced crossed his mind when he felt most alone after another refusal from Kawaki. They were all about his sun, but for some reason he couldn't see or hear him very well in any of them.

The more he tried to remember, a headache would start that would only increase until he left it alone.

Something similar happened with his dreams, where he seemed to know with certainty who he was hearing and whose face he was seeing. But, however, when he woke up he would have already forgotten that.

He was lost. He had to do something.

Going with his mother, Mitsuki had already gotten the idea that at least one check-up was necessary. Otherwise, he would not be able to support his sun as he should.

He answered his father's questions, with all the frankness that characterized him. It seemed, to outsiders' eyes, like any other therapy session.

"What is happening to me?"

Orochimaru's soft, yet sharp gaze accentuated his features even more behind the exotic purple markings. The Sannin briefly looked at Suigetsu, who was making sure to check the equipment’s quality control and confirm that the results were going well.

"Mitsuki."

She spoke in that usual low and serene voice. Moving towards her son, her aura of pride never left her, he had grown so much already.

They stroked his hair, which was already beginning to increase in length, in a short tilt. Then they stood up straight again, spreading a discreet smile.

"Your heart suffers, dear."

But the boy didn't understand why that didn't seem alarming. Still, he questioned him.

"Should I be… reset?"

Father shook his head.

"Of course not, my son. These heart ailments are normal for a boy your age."

…Normal? Mitsuki didn't understand.

"I don't understand… So, is it okay? Is what I feel normal?"

Orochimaru raised the back of her own pale hand, and brought it against her mouth to hide a couple of soft giggles. Nodding once, slowly.

"Of course. You feel pain because that's what love is like. Although, well, it's actually a complicated topic. Just because it hurts doesn't mean it always has to be that way. You feel this way because you are distressed by not being able to do something for your loved one, right?"

"My loved one…" he murmured. "Kawaki?" Allowing a few seconds to think about it before continuing speaking. "Well, it's true that it happens to me every time I think about him."

Lowering his arm, Orochimaru hugged his forearm as he responded. Tilting his head a little.

"Of course love has many forms, it is not only romantic. Whether it's platonic or fraternal, it can also be that deep... But I think that's something you have to discover on your own, Mitsuki."

The young moon sat up in the examination chair, his haori in his lap. Suigetsu glanced at them with a raised eyebrow. By the time Mitsuki said goodbye moments later, he headed to the Sannin.

"Orochimaru-sama, aren't you planning to tell him about his memories?"

The eternal serpent shook their head with a gentle movement. The silky night hair fell behind her back over the delicate light-colored kimono.

"It will not be necessary. It would be in vain if we did it now, we will have to wait. There is still a lot more to happen… Besides, Mitsuki has to do this alone. When the time is right, the opportunity will come to us to help him get back on the path he chose."

The purple-eyed shinobi simply let out a sigh, placing a hand on his waist. As always, he had the sleeves of his shirt rolled up exposing his forearms.

"You always have your whims, Orochimaru... Ne, regarding the other boy... He's here, Karin distracted Yamato so that he could enter."

The golden eyes were simply adorned now by a slight raise of the eyebrows. Interested, ignoring the first comment; as it was expected.

"Perfect. Let's go with him."

Kawaki… Kawaki…

Is this what I feel… love?

How to know?

It did not make sense. Even after experiencing the blush that Eida's power caused him the first time he saw her, he could not discern if this was the genuine representation of that feeling manufactured by the cyborg's nature.

The days passed, and Mitsuki still didn't find an answer.

Leave. I need to be alone. Go away. 

And the same as always.

No. I don't want to train with you. I have enough things on my mind to attend to. On top of everything, Shikamaru is dealing with training the team we formed.

His sun wanted to do everything alone. He wanted to take charge, fulfill his responsibility without accepting anyone's help. To such a degree was his desire to protect the village, and Mitsuki praised him for it.

He put a hand to his chest, thinking about all this. Could be…?

He returned to his resting position. And at that moment Kawaki arrived, floating and coming down from the sky.

"It was another false alarm. These idiots still can't tell what Code's claw marks are."

The boy murmured in slight annoyance. When had he become so tall? Apparently, Kawaki was growing at too good a rate.

Mitsuki took a few steps, approaching him. This time, instead of being stunned by a half-memory, he simply felt a huge tapping on his chest as he moved forward. But he stopped just inches from him.

To Kawaki's surprise, his silence was unexpected. He didn't say anything else, nor did he dare to harass him with his presence and he let him do it.

Reserved. He needed to be sure.

He remained like this for several days, observing that his same reaction continued. Now, he even blushed slightly.

"Kawaki…"

He had to face it. Hee had to tell his sun.

"Mitsuki."

You've been weird lately.

And it seemed like his sun was realizing it too. 

"I need to talk to you."

And I don't mean weird like you usually are.

It had to be now.

There was something about Kawaki that seemed like a new discovery to him. A different familiarity, as if he knew him but he had forgotten him. Perhaps that was why he was more reluctant to leave him alone now.

"Okay, talk."

"I have to check something."

He had prepared himself. One of his snakes had confirmed that Eida was still at the mall, busy hanging out with her brother. Even about these things he was cautious, he did not need to start an unnecessary rivalry with her.

The gray gaze saw him piercingly. Almost looking at him with disdain, which; however, seemed somewhat forced.

"I hear you."

"Kawaki, I think I've fallen in love with you."

Silence. The wind blew lightly on the balcony.

"And how do you plan to check it?"

Mitsuki was not afraid. Despite the other's defensiveness, he took a step towards him, from whom he was not that far away.

"With a kiss."

Chapter Text

With a kiss.

That's what Mitsuki had said. Kawaki tried to look at him indifferently, but he couldn't hide his surprise. He barely managed to cover a blush with that proposition.

He turned around, looking out from the balcony. His hands resting on the handrail, the wind barely blowing lightly.

“Don't be a pain,” he wanted to look at him with disgust, but he kept thinking. “Eida could see us, you know?”

Silence. Mitsuki looked at him carefully, without saying anything. It seemed as if he was giving him space to reject him completely, or choose a solution to this situation.

And, to his fortune, he found a solution, a way. Not knowing very well, not wanting to think too much about it, he thought. Every afternoon, Kawaki had at least an hour to himself, alone, where he had made Eida promise to leave him completely on his own. No spying, no following him. An hour entirely for himself, for his comfort. Mitsuki was probably suspicious of this arrangement, though it didn’t happen at exactly the same time every day.

“She’s not looking right now.”

To his surprise, the snake boy spoke again after seeing his expression change. Kawaki didn’t know how else to interpret it.

He took a step towards him. Wanting to say something, something hurtful, but instead he moved his hand to the pale-skinned boy’s waist. They moved closer to each other, he saw his reflection in the golden orbs… and the kiss happened.

Kawaki enjoyed it, to his own surprise. But he was forced to run the back of his hand against his mouth when they separated. Enough time to regain control over himself.

“Tomorrow. My room. Four o'clock.”

He didn’t say anything else to him. And he didn’t let more than a second pass before he turned around and prepared to leave in the air. He couldn’t see Mitsuki’s rosy cheeks without it causing something deep inside him. 

Kawaki didn't mention their meeting the next day. But he had it very much in mind, and something told him that Mitsuki did too.

He went far away, taking care of something outside the village again. All to be away from him.

He met Shikamaru some time later, again passing on the council's complaints. That group of old geezers who did nothing but criticize and not lifting a finger.

He returned to the house, and saw Eida afterwards. He consulted her to confirm the day's reports, since he was still distrustful, and only then could he think about taking a break.

“You look tired, Kawaki,” the beautiful cyborg observed with barely noticeable concern. “Have you eaten today?”

Kawaki moved his eyes to the side, his brow furrowed and clearly serious. “If you already know, why do you waste time asking?”

Eida was forced to take a step back, with the disdainfully gesture at her almost-embracing hold. She failed to take his arm, though she didn't let her sadness show either. Instead, she invited him.

“Let's go get something to eat. I want to go out, I feel like eating out.”

As if it wasn't obvious that she was only doing it so he could eat something.

Kawaki accepted without any apparent reaction. This time, he let her take him by the arm.

And he listened, annoyed, as she communicated her brother that they were going out. Those two spent most of their time together. On one hand, that was good; that way he wouldn't be alone with Eida. On the other hand…

“Nice, sister! I was so bored already!”

The little devil had decided to ride on Kawaki's back today. Out of a habit already forged the hard way, he didn't reject the action and instead carried the cyborg child close to him. 

“It was about time you joined us, Kawaki!” He would endure the screaming in his ears for a while.

Crossing the threshold of the entrance with a lax step, bringing a hand to his hair and shaking his already somewhat long locks carelessly. He walked through the living room, only glancing at the clock.

He had arrived alone. The pair of siblings seemed to have earned enough trust to befriend Sarada, Sumire, and even Himawari. While the first two did not matter to him, Kawaki tried not to scold Himawari so much; although that was so difficult.

He knew that the girl wanted to follow in the footsteps of the Seventh, even though Kawaki disapproved and wanted to make her give up on that stupid dream. Ninja were useless. They were not going to be able to deal with Code or what awaited them. He knew it very well.

Instead of going down the stairs to the kitchen, he continued on and went up to his room again. He was certain that no one would bother him until night.

There were only a few minutes left until the agreed time. And Kawaki soon heard a knock on his door, a couple of knocks that were hard to mistake. It was him.

Kawaki answered, opening the door without much preamble. He held it up against the wall, he had nothing to hide.

“Come in.”

To come here for the purpose for which he came here, Mitsuki entered without any major nervousness. He seemed quite calm, and that was something that always bothered Kawaki. That calm temperament that the boy from Otogakure had.

The lock had already clicked, without bothering to lock it from the cylinder of the knob. Kawaki took a few steps towards his bed, with his hands in his pockets. Mitsuki stood there, without moving.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” He asked with natural abruptness.

Mitsuki barely looked at him, and turned his gaze to the side. He seemed to be thinking, or gathering strength. It was a very strange image, unusual to see.

Finally, he took three steps towards him. Kawaki did not move away, and slowly took his hands out of his pockets.

The boy who called himself his moon moved his hands up, letting them rest on the other's shoulders. His face was so calm, almost imperturbable if it weren't for his gaze. That golden color for an instant turned into a revolution, a whirlwind of brightness and a certain embarrassment. Kawaki managed to notice a certain blush, so low, on Mitsuki's cheeks. 

“My heart beats very hard lately, when I'm with you, Kawaki…”

A confession.

Kawaki had already heard something like that, from Eida; perhaps it could be said that it was similar.

“And I have these feelings… Beyond being your moon, of wanting to follow you like the Sun…”

He wanted to interrupt him, it bothered him greatly to hear him say that. He knew, deep down, that his Sun was not him, but the other; Boruto.

Yet, he didn't. Kawaki didn't say anything. There was something attractive, that he simply couldn't get away from. He was expectant. 

Mitsuki took the first step, as expected. But Kawaki followed him.

He kissed the same way, inexperienced but carefully. And when he gained confidence, he pressed his hand against the boy's neck and pressed the opposite lips.

“Always so docile.”

He murmured. At first, Kawaki wanted to speak with disdain, but the emotion of the moment won him over. It was undeniable that he was attracted to him too, at least in that he matched him.

Little by little, he released his grip, and took a half step back. Deep down, he knew that accepting something like that was pointless, that he shouldn't do it. That it was pathetic. But the truth was that, even though he knew that in the end things would go badly; especially for himself, he couldn't help but want to explore it.

“What do you want, Mitsuki?" That's why he couldn't resist the urge to ask, to want to know his motives, his desires. “You know the situation we're in. Do you expect us to just date like that?”

“No.” Mitsuki shook his head, lowering his hand covered in the dark haori; with which he had hidden himself from his blush for a moment. “I know how the situation is. And I don't aspire to a relationship. All I want is… to be by your side and defend Konoha, Kawaki. Just that.”

I don’t ask for much , he seemed to say. And yet, he knew there would be more. That he wanted to cross that line, and get to him as much as he could. Kawaki could sense it. This was a very bad idea. But he didn’t care.

“Just that, huh?”

So, just that.

Kawaki approached slowly. “I’m not going to look for you.” First rule, Kawaki reached out his hands to Mitsuki’s face; cupping his jaw and spreading his thumbs. “And I’m not going to force you into anything. It’s up to you.

“Kawaki…”

It was a sigh. A sigh for him, for only him to hear. And Kawaki rejoiced, acknowledging this feeling he felt now.

He took his face in his hands, and kissed his mouth. Because he felt like it. Because Mitsuki had let him. Because Mitsuki wanted it.

He would never have imagined that he could have this much. If he played the role of that one .

Chapter Text

Strands of pale blue hair against his chin. In his room, just the two of them.

Mitsuki is so comfortably in his lap, and he hugs him; surrounding him but not too tightly. 

Kawaki is at peace.

But how did they get to this moment?

He was looking for him.

After days of doing the same thing a couple of times, of simply meeting and exchanging a kiss or two, Mitsuki suddenly stopped coming back. It wasn't that he ignored him, no, Kawaki knew that the young snake was training hard.

And there he was. In front of him, facing off against a pair of jōnin as training. Mitsuki looked exhausted, but managed to defeat them without much difficulty.

"It's incredible."

To one side of him, among the few spectators, Kawaki saw Chōchō. The Akimichi was eating chips while watching the fight.

"Mitsuki has been working nonstop for two days. And even then, it seems that no one will be able to defeat him anytime soon," she commented to her blond companion. The pair were still unaware of Kawaki's presence.

"I'd be afraid to challenge him even now."

"Oh, but..." Chōchō chimed in again, speaking with sympathy and a sigh. "Poor thing. He should get some rest."

"Oi," Kawaki interrupted, earning stares from two thirds of the Ino-Shika-Chō trio. "How come? Mitsuki hasn't rested at all today?" 

Chōchō gulped in surprise, and squeezed the bag of chips in her hand. She shook her head before answering. "No, Mitsuki hasn't slept at all in TWO days," she emphasized, lifting two of her fingers; almost making a peace sign, for emphasis. She immediately went back to taking a chip, licking the remnants of salt from the tips of them. Then, her brown orbs took on that worried tinge again. "He's been pushing himself too hard."

"But still, look." Inojin called them over to watch the grand finale of the fight. Mitsuki had nimbly caught the pair of superior shinobi, immobilizing their bodies simultaneously with his soft body technique. He truly looked like a snake in action. But it was clear he looked tired. "With that performance, I doubt he'd be exhausted.”

That's because you don't know him well.

With that thought, Kawaki took a couple of steps down the stairs.

"Very well, everyone out. If you have time to spend here, you have time to be outside and take care of the village."

He barely raised his gray eyes to finish shooing everyone else away with a brusque gesture. Everyone began to leave. Except for Mitsuki, who, judging by the way the other had turned toward him, knew had come to speak to him.

"Kawaki…"

Neither of them moved for a moment. And then, Mitsuki was the one who approached. 

How did Mitsuki go to such extremes? It didn't take long for him to reproach him.

“I heard you’ve been working nonstop these days.”

Gaze shifted to the side, the sad tinge evident on his pale face. “I have to get stronger.” Mitsuki has trained with Kawaki before, though not so recently, but he’s aware that the other will need his help if he plans to face Boruto. “Only then I can be by your side.” 

Again with that. Why is it so easy for him to say that kind of thing?

Kawaki felt an internal blush, hard to avoid. It bothered him. Those words bothered him, everything Mitsuki used to say that did something to him inside.

He decided not to speak anymore. Just a grumble. And he took the other teen’s wrist. 

“Kawaki?”

He intended to take him to his apartment, but they ended up agreeing to meet there since Mitsuki still had to clean up. Kawaki did the same and waited for him in his room.

Mitsuki looked refreshed despite still looking exhausted once he saw him standing in the doorway. Kawaki let him in right away and pressed the button on the doorknob.

“How long did you say you sleep, Mitsuki?” 

He vaguely remembered hearing him say that he didn’t need to rest that much, but he didn’t specify how much time.

“An hour is more than enough. Although it may be less, it’s not really that necessary for me—”

Kawaki didn’t let him speak, approaching his bed and interrupting him. “Lie down.” Mitsuki looked at him questioningly. “Lie down. Come on.” he took him by the wrist and pulled him, and made him lie down on the bed so he could rest there. Mitsuki didn’t have time to express his surprise.

“Kawaki.”

It was then that Kawaki himself lay down on the bed as well. Without hesitation, without further delay. He proceeded to arrange Mitsuki on his lap, and force him to sleep. 

“Now sleep.”

“But…”

“Or is it that you want to faint from exhaustion?” So abrupt with his words, but so careful with his hands. Kawaki was practically hugging him, leaving Mitsuki very affected; he was beside himself with surprise. “You're quite foolish if you think you can go all the time without taking a break, Mitsuki.”

“Kawaki…”

And the golden orbs hid behind his eyes. Mitsuki complied with the request. The older teen's concern was such that he had gone to these extremes.

Why on earth had he done this? 

He didn't understand it.

But the idea of hugging Mitsuki like this... 

Kawaki had seen this a few times. Boruto and Mitsuki sleeping together on a few occasions, when the snake boy would spend the night for a sleepover. And countless times Kawaki had felt strange, annoyed, and wishing he could be the one who could... be that close with him. He never understood it.

Mitsuki shifted a little in his lap. His chiseled, pale profile was relaxed, lips barely parted as he exhaled slowly, managing to fall into a soft nap.

And right now... He had craved this intensely. And he was enjoying it.

Dumb. Only you would work tirelessly, at someone else's expense.

Soon enough, this had become a regular occurrence.

The two of them continued seeing each other, and every once in a while, the first thing Kawaki would do before kissing him was this. It was relaxing. Having someone to hug, a warm body close to him that would actively reciprocate.

Mitsuki was always shy, or perhaps very respectful of his boundaries; though Kawaki wouldn't mind if he were less cautious than him. Kawaki was brusque, and did whatever he felt like.

That closeness, that intimacy. That connection felt in the moment, the other's heartbeats... Kawaki would never admit that out loud. And he knew very well that Mitsuki wouldn't dare mention it either; they had that silent agreement not to dwell on details and just enjoy the moment.

With his arms around the other, Kawaki felt... at peace. Unworthy, probably; of course. But once he'd tasted what it was like to be close to Mitsuki, there was no turning back.

Without knowing how long this would last, all he could do was enjoy it until it all fell apart. Because, he knew very well, there was no happy ending for him.

"What is this?"

Kawaki's sense of smell couldn't deceive him. But... was he hallucinating?

Pointing to the bag Mitsuki had just brought, Kawaki looked at him questioningly. The young one with golden eyes was quick to respond.

"I brought food. I heard you haven't eaten all day, and I thought... I'd bring taiyaki."

Taiyaki? Had Mitsuki brought him taiyaki to eat? Mitsuki had gone to the trouble of bringing him some food.

From one moment to the next, he wasn't aware of his actions, Kawaki practically teleported so close to him, almost cornering Mitsuki against the wall. He took his wrist in one hand and raised it to head-to-head level while he closed the distance between their mouths and kissed him urgently.

He didn't know what had come over him, but he'd felt something so heavy in his chest. And he didn't hesitate to transmit that tingling feeling. His reaction was to kiss him, to touch him, to feel him. And that's what he did.

That took Mitsuki by surprise, but he gladly accepted the kiss. If Kawaki was reacting like that… it's because he was happy with his actions, right? He'd brought him something he liked.

Kawaki looked at him with those deep gray eyes, parting his lips again as soon as they broke the kiss. But he didn't say anything. Mitsuki interpreted this as a silent "thank you." 

"I know you like them, so I decided to bring you something to eat."

Mitsuki's torrid blush still graced his face so invitingly. Kawaki didn't know when he grabbed him by the waist, but he squeezed gently before letting go and walking over to the taiyaki bag and satisfying his hunger.