Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

ACT 1

A young troll stands in his respiteblock.

It just so happens that today is the day of this young troll's larval awakening, also known as his wriggling day. Though it was five solar sweeps ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!

What will the name of this young troll be?

> Enter name.

Your name is SPRIGG PLANTR.

You have just finished tending to the many PLANTS you grow in your hive, as GARDENING is among your many hobbies and interests. Also among these are TALES OF ADVENTURE, the heroes of which you hope to live up to, tinkering with CONTRAPTIONS of varying usefulness, and MISCHIEF.

You also like to practice shooting your TRUSTY SLINGSHOT when skirmishing with the wildlife that threatens your GARDENS, and you would not be bragging to say that your aim is NOT HALF BAD. You fucking love your slingshot.

Your RESPITEBLOCK is made of the typical GRAY CONCRETE of troll hives, but is unusually quite overgrown with lushly cultivated plants. The floor is littered with open BOOKS and a misplaced CATAPULT. Shelves above a HAMMOCK hold a collection of small humanoid figurines. Your HUSKTOP sits on a desk beneath the room's window, which shows a view of rolling woodlands and rural swamps beneath the night sky.

Your hive gets a bit lonely sometimes, but you have a couple online friends you like to chat with about your TYPICAL MISCHIEF. You often getahead ofyour wrds whentyping as yourthoughts are prtty much alwaysgoing fastr than your fingrs or squawkgapr!

What will you do?

> Sprigg: Inspect minifigures on the wall.

These are your ACTION FIGURES, depicting a number of HEROES OF LEGEND. They are the CROWN JEWELS of your personal collections.

> ===>>>

For instance, this one is the SPITTING IMAGE of GENERAL BOGBREATH as he is historically described to have appeared during the BATTLE OF--

Oh hey, as typical, an impulsive urge to behave sporadically has struck you from nowhere.

> Sprigg: Hiss like a meowbeast and chew up your slingshot.

NO!!! You wouldn’t DREAM of destroying your TRUSTY WEAPON. It’s right up there with your ACTION FIGURES in terms of prized possessions. However, you will consider hissing for strategic purposes at a later time.

> Sprigg: Examine fiddle.

This is your FIDDLE. Your LUSUS used to teach you songs for it by croaking melodically. You also compose your own pieces sometimes. You have been told you are a bit of a PRODIGY on it.

> [S] Sprigg: Play haunting fiddle refrain.

You waste a few minutes playing your fiddle before a notification on your HUSKTOP distracts you.

> Sprigg: Check the computer for messages.

You toss your fiddle to the side and check TROLLIAN on your HUSKTOP. You have several unread messages.

> Sprigg: Open Trollian.

-- tippityAmbush [TA] began trolling adventuringGardener [AG] --
TA: ...hehehe AMBUSH!!!
TA: ...i GOTCHA so GOOD!!!
TA: ...watcha doin sprigg?
TA: ...me and GC have been workin on SOMETHIN COOL i found!
TA: ...i KNOW you think shes WEIRD but man this thing i found is SO COOL!
AG: woahdude hldon iwas playin myfiddl
AG: whatr u wrkinon
TA: ...its a SURPRISE hehehe
AG: ohhhoho boyi meanthat stillsounds cool!
AG: cani have like
AG: a hint r somethin
TA: ...hmmm...
TA: ...yeah i THINK GC would be fine with that!
TA: ...its ummm
TA: ...a GAME!!!
TA: ...found it in this AWESOME RUINS i was EXPLORING!
TA: ...theres ALL these WEIRD factories outside of the valley
TA: ...got all sorts of COMPUTERS and shit way cooler than OURS!
TA: ...oh shit this is WAY more than a HINT ill shut UP
AG: hahaha itsno problm
AG: thatdoes soundfun tho!!
AG: illcheck itout once ufnish it!
TA: ...itll PROBABLY be close to MORNING but like
TA: ...youll HAVE to be inside ANYWAYS then
TA: ...just chill around while we FINISH it dude
AG: awwwwman nowyouve gotme all excited
AG: meannnn >3:(
TA: ...dudeee x;D its gonna be FUN!!!
-- tippityAmbush [TA] ceased trolling adventuringGardener [AG] --

> ===>>>

Mannn you hate having to do stuff with GC, she is SO WEIRD AND CREEPY. You don't have any messages from her right now but your past logs make you shiver just to read back through.

> Read your last messages with GC.

-- grimoireCyanide [GC] began trolling adventuringGardener [AG] --
GC: (Hello, Sprigg.)
GC: (i Know you are Reading thisss.)
AG: ughhhwhat dou want...
GC: (i Have been Watching your activity Indicator hehehe)
GC: (have you Heard from my Moirai1 tonight?)
AG: noactually ithink shes beenout explrin n stuff???
AG: ummm whatve u been upto
GC: (I have seen the Precise Date and Time of your Death in My Mind!)
AG: ohhh uh hahahathat soundsgreat!!!
AG: (3:[ get me out of here.)
GC: (i wi11, Sprigg.)
GC: (I wi111111111111...)
-- grimoireCyanide [GC] ceased trolling adventuringGardener [AG] --
AG: AAGHHH.

> ===>>>

This is EXACTLY why you hate talking to her. Honestly, you're too scared of her for it to even be something of a more pitch leaning. Besides, having TA as her moirail makes her tolerable. Sometimes.

Holy shit you are bored of your block. You wanna do something else.

> Sprigg: Explore your hive.

Your hive has been increasingly overgrown over the last few sweeps.

This has no implication of a state of disrepair; you have cultivated the vines and other plants yourself. Your lusus has produced no complaints since an unfortunate incident when you were about two, involving a HERON LUSUS, a SPEARLIKE BEAK, and a misunderstanding on ACCEPTABLE PREY SOURCES.

> Go downstairs.

You climb out the window onto a branch of the hollow tree your hive is built into, creep down the side of the hive, and crawl inside the mealblock window.

> Examine the inside of the refrigerator.

You open the HUNGER TRUNK. A few sluggish bugs try to crawl away. You pick one up and shove it in your mouth. Damn, you hadn't even realized you were hungry.

> Go outside.

You step outside your hive and walk to the old stone wall at the back edge of your lawnring.

The valley is dark. Wind skims the void between the mountains on the horizon, like the ghost of a frog's song. A familiar note is produced. It's the one Calamity plays to warn of its impending storm.

You are six sweeps old, and have spent each of them longing for something greater than your quiet life in the Alternian farmlands. The forests and swamps of the valley you and your online companions call home hold tales of a great past of Alternia that is long sense lost--much like the lusus absent from your hive. The mountains framing this valley make you feel trapped in your old hive. Home stuck, even. You are sure the lands beyond hold the answers your simple life lacks.

The three moons in the Alternian sky smile three crescents down upon the land, mocking you with an unspoken riddle. It is the riddle of Absence itself, a mystery dispersing altogether. It is the most diabolical riddle of all.

You have a feeling it's going to be a long night.

> Return to your hive.

You enter your hive through the low arch of the back door and climb a ramshackle ladder to the second floor, where your respiteblock awaits. As you enter, you notice new messages from TA have appeared on your husktop screen.

> Open Trollian.

-- tippityAmbush [TA] began trolling adventuringGardener [AG] --
TA: ...heyyy SPRIGG
TA: ...me and GC r JUST about ready to START THIS! x:D
AG: oh thatscool man
AG: i suddenlywanna tidy up my block some tho ill do that realquick
TA: ...WOW for ONCE!!!
AG: iknow man i justgotta yknow
TA: ...ok do it i GUESS but then get READY! x;D
-- adventuringGardener [AG] ceased trolling tippityAmbush [TA] --

You guess you should clean your block OH SHIT WAIT A SUDDEN POV SHIFT

> Be the other girl.

You are suddenly the other girl.

What’s the name of this troublemaker?

> Enter name.

Your name is AIVVEE SUNDEW.

You enjoy AMBUSHING UNSUSPECTING VICTIMS, catching and collecting WEIRD BUGS, discovering INTERESTING LOOT, and PUNCHING AND STABBING. Your blood is TEAL but you think that rules are BORING AND LAME.

You are known to message your friends updates on your escapades out of nowhere ...BUT you just KNOW they’ll always be EXCITED TO HEAR from you!!!

What will you do?

> Examine huge skull.

Oh, this old thing? You don't know what it's from but you found it in the woods one day and decided it was cool as shit so you got your lusus to lug it home for you. She's always bringing home stuff but usually it's less pleasant in nature. Like your best friend's...

Yknow what, nevermind that. Your lusus is KIND OF LAME but you are pretty sure it is MOSTLY AN ACT. Maybe she feels bad about the frog incident. The one you just said you wouldn't talk about. Shit.

Your lusus thinks you shouldn't spend so much time fucking around in dangerous ruins but you think that is boring, so you have gotten pretty damn good at sneaking out. You are pretty sure she is well aware of your adventures, given by her willingness to help you with this giant awesome skull you found.

> Writhe like a narwhal worm and stick your head in your net.

You don't know what a narwhal worm is and you are a bit afraid to ask. Also, your net? Why would you do that? You use this thing to CATCH BUGS. You like to keep the cool ones and pin them in a collection, and eat the tasty ones or share them with Sprigg. He is so awesome it makes you oh hey someone is messaging you.

> Aihvee: Open Trollian.

-- grimoireCyanide [GC] began trolling tippityAmbush [TA] --
GC: (say, Aihvee.)
GC: (you Never did Te11 Me where you Found this Code)
GC: (was it a Dangerous and Scary quest through Horrific Forbidden 1ands?)
TA: ...hahaha KINDA actually!
TA: ...i, uh
TA: ...MAY HAVE gone outside the valley?
GC: (youre Shitting me)
TA: ...nuh uh
GC: (so what is it 1ike? are there tons of Dead bodies?)
TA: ...no mostly just these WEIRD factory things
TA: ...FULL of AWESOME futuristic junk except i guess its ACTUALLY super OLD
TA: ...i dug around and FOUND THIS thing that looked like it could actually RUN on our husktops and well you know the rest!! x:]
GC: (i am Finishing the Compi1ation of The Fi1es right Now)
GC: (you would be Wise to inform Sprigg that is is A1most Time)

> Aihvee: Message Sprigg.

-- tippityAmbush [TA] began pestering adventuringGardener [AG] --
TA: ...pssst what are you DOING
AG: oh hey aihvee
TA: ...me and GC are PROBABLY gonna BOOT THIS THING UP pretty soon
TA: ...SO if you wanna get IN ON IT right away...
TA: ...hang around your COMPUTER maybe!!!
AG: thatsounds supr fun dude!
AG: hey shouldi be wrried that GC is n on ths
TA: x;]
-- tippityAmbush [TA] is now offline! --

hahaha yeah he should definitely be worried

> Be the creepy girl.

Are you sure you want to be grimoireCyanide? She seems quite creepy...

> Be the creepy girl.

You are now the creepy girl.

Your name is probably something EDGY AND UNPRONOUNCEABLE, and is probably as creepy as you are.

What is your name?

> Enter name.

Your name is MADDIE FLOWER.

Your primary passion is CURSES and the DARK MAJICKS in their many forms, even being expressed in your POTIONKIND strife specibus. You also dabble in BAKING though cross-contamination of ingredients can be more than slightly unfortunate.

You are CLEARLY A VIOLETBLOOD. Of course you are not FUCHSIA, you’re no pretty fish princess and you like it that way. You are content ACTING STRANGE and READING BOOKS OF SPELLS, thank you very much.

Somehow you’ve managed to acquire a few friends despite your OFFPUTTING MANNERISMS and chat with them online frequently. You have spent a large part of the night helping your MOIRAIL, AIHVEE SUNDEW, to adapt a MYSTERIOUS VIDEO GAME she discovered to run on your computers.

You speak (In an Eerie Manner That comes across as A Bit Unsett1ing and Offki1ter At Times, particu1arly When Distracted by Spe11craft.)

What will you do?

> Maddie: Examine posters on walls.

Your POSTERS display several of your interests, including music of a GOTH CHARACTER and THE MORTALITY OF ALL LIVING CREATURES IN THE FACE OF THEIR INEVITABLE ENDS. You think that shit is pretty fucking cool even if it creeps other trolls out. You have to be pretty damn weird to creep out other trolls. Your species is a powerful and violent race, even if the Alternian empire is clearly a ruin of what it once was. You document these historical theories in your TOMES OF ARCANE KNOWLEDGE.

> Maddie: Eat your candle and crawl like an indescribable tentacled monster.

Are you attempting to insult your own custodian? Octopi are a perfectly acceptable lusus species for violetbloods, and your father is a perfectly respectable octopus who enjoys a good loaf of sourdough.

Your candle is not meant to be eaten, anyways! It is meant to assist in your MYSTICAL RITUALS! On top of it all, it is currently lit. You may be a bit of a freak, but you aren't fucking stupid. If you wanted to eat something, you would proceed to your mealblock and consume some DELICIOUS FRESH-BAKED GOODS. But you are not hungry, so that does not matter.

> Maddie: Examine tomes of arcane knowledge.

You attempt to open one of the tomes, but all of a sudden the narration yanks you back to being this kid.

> Be Sprigg again.

You are once again Sprigg Plantr. You made it halfway through tidying up your block before getting distracted by one of the books laying out on your floor. Thank the Last Guardian that the narration has returned to you, otherwise you probably would've been engrossed in it until noon.

> Sprigg: Check Trollian.

You have new messages from both grimoireCyanide and tippityAmbush. Which will you read first?

> Check messages from TA.

You shudder. You don't want to deal with Maddie's weird witchy shit right now. You decide to respond to Aihvee first.

> ===>>>

-- tippityAmbush [TA] began pestering adventuringGardener [AG] --
TA: ...HEY SPRIGG whats up
TA: ...you up for some WEIRD WITCHY SHIT with MADDIE?
AG: there r not many things on ths plnet i wld b less up for
TA: ...hehehe sounds GREAT ill tell her to send you THE FILES in just a second hahaha
-- tippityAmbush [TA] is now offline! --

You introduce your forehead to the surface of your desk.

What the hell have you gotten yourself into.

> Sprigg: Compose yourself and reply to Maddie.

-- grimoireCyanide [GC] began trolling adventuringGardener [AG] --
GC: (Sprigg)
GC: (Pssst Spriggg)
GC: (are you Thereee)
GC: (i Know you are Rep1ying to aihvee)
GC: (Spriggg)
AG: AAAUGH im hereimhere dude thts creepy ashell
GC: (hehehe)
GC: (Good)
GC: (Aihvee to1d me to Send You the game if you are Ready)
GC: (and we May All begin to P1ay)
AG: ok chillout n snd me it
GC: (we11, Then)
-- grimoireCyanide [GC] sent adventuringGardener [AG] the file "SGRUB.~ATH"--
GC: (Face your Doom by your Own Hands)
AG: ignorin ur typical ominouscrap im downloadingthat now
AG: :thumbsup:
-- adventuringGardener [AG] ceased trolling grimoireCyanide [GC] --

> Sprigg: Open SGRUB.~ATH.

A window opens on your husktop screen.

> Sprigg: Check Trollian window.

-- grimoireCyanide [GC] began trolling adventuringGardener [AG] --
GC: (excellent. You appear to have Connected Correctly)
AG: nicejob addin credits to urself and aihvee hahaha
AG: whats calamity innovations tho
GC: (no clue actually)
GC: (Doesn't matter. is the client telling you to Press Enter?)
AG: it isactually
GC: (I am Set Up to be your Server player)
GC: (go ahead And press Enter)
AG: yeah ok

> [S] Press Enter.

FLASH + EYESTRAIN WARNING!

>

Chapter Text

> Maddie: Select recoopercoon.

AG: AAHHGH PUT MY BED DOWN
AG: creepy witch girl >3:(
GC: (I am Just getting a hang of These Controls.)

> Maddie: Zoom out.

GC: (Woah, your Hive is Actually super Cool)
GC: (is that A Telescope)
AG: yeah itis actually
AG: wait youcan see myhive rn???
GC: (you're More surprised by That than by me Moving Your Furniture around?)
AG: man dont nitpickwhat surprses me n wht doesnt

> Maddie: Select Sprigg.

You cannot select a PLAYER!

SPRIGG abjures the meddlesome cursor.

> Maddie: Open Phernalia Registry

GC: (say, Sprigg)
GC: (how Much Do you care about Your p1ants?)
AG: quite abit actually
GC: (your B1ock does not have Quite Enough f1oor space to Accommodate the Equipment this game wishes me to Dep1oy)
AG: just putthem somewhere else or something jeez
GC: (very We11)

> Maddie: Deploy Totem Lathe.

MADDIE places the TOTEM LATHE in your respiteblock. Its weight shakes the action figures neatly lined up on the shelves on your wall.

AG: heyCAREFUL WITHTHOSE
GC: (hold On, this is Just the Totem 1athe. There are a Coup1e more things I Need To Do...)

> Sprigg: Examine Totem Lathe

You examine the device. It's some kind of weird looking lathing tool covered in spinny wheel things, with a place to clamp a presumably cylindrical object steady beneath the carving arm. Based on its name, you assume it's meant to carve a totem, whatever that means here. You're pretty proud of yourself for this deduction.

> ===>>>

AG: sowhen can i strt messin around w ur hive n droppingstuff n ur block lol
GC: (You are Currently the C1ient P1ayer. the Code that Aihvee discovered was Sp1it into two Programs, the C1ient and server P1ayer versions. When we Have Finished setting things up I W1ll send You the Other Portion.)
AG: wow that is a convoluted and stupid way to do things
GC: (hey, it wasn't Our Choice. it Wou1d Have been Very hard to adapt it Into a sing1e edition.)
GC: (once we Have deciphered some Aspects of this Game you are free to take Revenge on my Own Hive if you Connect to me. how Does that Sound?)
GC: (on That Note, i have More Items in this "Pherna1ia Registry" to P1ace.)

> Maddie: Deploy Cruxtruder.

GC: (i have P1aced the "cruxtruder" in the b1ock you appear to use as a "study.")
GC: (wou1d you go and see What its Function seems to be?)

> Sprigg: Leave Block.

You step outside your respiteblock and walk down the hallway towards the study.

> Sprigg: Enter Study.

You enter the study block. You don't use this block much but it's currently home to your TELESCOPE and the newly placed CRUXTRUDER. The latter is a bulky device with a tube about a foot in diameter and three feet tall extending from its base, with a crank wheel on the side of the cylinder. Blank LCD screens circle its base like digital clocks, or countdown timers.

GC: (i have One fina1 item To P1ace.)
GC: (you Won't be Ab1e to see this message unti1 you return to your b1ock, but whatever.)

> Maddie: Deploy Alchemiter.

Maddie places the Alchemiter in your downstairs loungeblock. A tremor shakes from the first floor of your hive.

> Sprigg: Ignore shaking hive and look through telescope.

Still in the study, you manage to ignore the latest effects of Maddie dropping large and heavy objects in your hive. You take a glance through your telescope at the night sky. There is nothing unusual or out of place to be seen. Not yet, at least.

> Sprigg: Return to Respiteblock.

GC: (oh Thank the Guardian)
GC: (you can Actua11y see my Messages now)
AG: aghhhh yes i can!
AG: r u gonnasend me theserver filestoo now or justkeep ontoying with me huh
GC: (there is Sti11 more toying to be Done)
AG: if i mssage aihvee willshe b less full of herselfthan u
GC: (i Wou1d Not garuantee It)
GC: (she is Current1y quite Busy setting up my Own Hive)
AG: wait ithought i was gonna get to messwith ur hive
AG: it is rude to steal your pitch friends chance at pettily revenging your shenanigans >3:\
GC: (sorry for 1eading you to Be1ieve that)
GC: (i just Needed to get you to let me do this Stuff)

> Be the creepy girl.

The creepy girl has a name!

> Be Maddie.

You are now Maddie Flower.

You are currently examining the Cruxtruder that Aihvee has just placed in your hive. It appears identical to the one you have placed in Sprigg's study block.

> Maddie: Turn wheel on Cruxtruder.

The top of the tube seems to have the ability to open, but however hard you tug on the wheel, the lid will not budge! You ponder this puzzle momentarily, before procuring a rolling pin from your SYLLADEX and giving the thing a hefty wallop. The lid comes free.

> Maddie: Turn wheel on Cruxtruder.

An orb of brilliant flickering pink light is freed from the inside of the tube. Simultaneously, the screens around the base of the device turn on, displaying a time of "3:33" that immediately begins to count down by seconds.

> Turn wheel again.

A cylinder of FUSCHIA CRUXITE is extruded. You now have ONE (1) CRUXITE DOWEL.

> Maddie: Message Sprigg.

You pull out your PALMHUSK to message Sprigg.

GC: (sprigg, can you Return to the Study and open your Cruxtruder?)
GC: (It seems you Wi11 Need to hit the 1id with a Heavy object)
AG: if youcan see me iam giving youa begrudging thumbs up
-- adventuringGardener [AG] has ceased trolling grimoireCyanide [GC] --

> Maddie: Be Sprigg again.

You are now Sprigg.

> Sprigg: Enter Study.

You leave your respiteblock and return to the study. Feeling a bit excited, you do an unnecessary parkour move through the door, launching a stone payload from your slingshot directly at the lid of the Cruxtruder at full force as you do so. The lid comes loose.

> Sprigg: Turn wheel on Cruxtruder.

You are able to crank the wheel enough to open the lid and release your own flickering KERNELSPRITE. Yours is BLUE in color. It floats about the study agitatedly. You examine the Cruxtruder's changed state. A timer has begun counting down from 3:00.

> Sprigg: Turn wheel again.

You turn the wheel again, extruding ONE (1) CRUXITE DOWEL, blue in color.

> Sprigg: Get Cruxite.

You take the cruxite and return to your respiteblock.

Someone is messaging you.

> Sprigg: Check messages.

-- tippityAmbush [TA] began trolling adventuringGardener [AG] --
TA: ...SPRIGG! when are you gonna start setting things up for me?
AG: ummm imkinda busy here!
AG: cant maddie doit for u?
AG: she hasnt evn sent me the srvr edition or anythng sooo
TA: ...ok ok take your time i guess!!! but i AM pretty sure youre supposed to do this for me!
AG: whatdo you mean "supposed"?
-- tippityAmbush [TA] is now offline! --

> Sprigg: Be Aihvee.

Sprigg cannot be Aihvee because Maddie is too busy being Sprigg!

Begrudgingly, the narration makes the shift anyways.

> ===>>>

You are now AIHVEE, in the middle of setting up Maddie's hive for a game of Sgrub.

> Aihvee: Ask Maddie to send Sprigg the Server Player copy of Sgrub so you can start getting ready too!

You could do that, orrr you could just send him it yourself. You and Maddie both have copies of the files, after all. You reopen Trollian and drop the file in Sprigg's messages.

-- tippityAmbush [TA] sent adventuringGardener [AG] the file "SGRUB (server).~ATH" --
AG: ooohhh
TA: ...i THINK maddie is mostly done setting you up SO you can get started on my hive!!!

> Author: Grow bored of these gamers.

I'm just going to step in here very briefly. I have been writing about these LOSER GAMERS for the past FIVE MONTHS and I cannot take it anymore. I have approximately 30 seconds complete of the 3 minute flash animation that was meant to end this act and let's be real, that might take another 7 months to finish and then we would be in gigapause territory before anything exciting even STARTS to happen. I can't take that. I can't STAND that! One day my animation will grace each of your computer screens with its artistry but NOT TODAY, LOSERS. I think we can all agree that we should just GET ON WITH THE STORY and leave the monotony of Act 1 in the past, you feel me? If all goes well, you won't ever have to hear from this narrative avatar I created soley for this rant ever again! sound good? Ok. I'll just TELL you what's meant to happen, and you can use your powerful Imagination Stat to visualize it yourself. So grab your Imagination Forts and your Sgrub Files and hop on for the ride, sucker.

> Author: Fast forward through the rest of Act 1.

Sprigg, Maddie, and Aihvee begin their session of Sgrub, with Maddie as Sprigg's server player, Sprigg as Aihvee's, and Aihvee as Maddie's. They deploy the appropriate equipment as meteors begin to rain down. Sprigg looks through his telescope to see a particularly threatening meteor approaching him. Sprigg's entry item is a RUBIC'S CUBE which he must solve to enter. Maddie's is a MYSTERIOUS POTION that may or may not be poison that she must take the impulsive step of drinking. Aihvee's is a POT OF TEA that she must allow to steep patiently. Maddie and Aihvee's lusii both die to meteors. Aihvee's HERON LUSUS is prototyped preentry. Sprigg prototypes one of his ACTION FIGURES. Maddie prototypes her LUSUS as well. The three of them all enter simultaneously and find themselves on their PLANETS. Cue the end of the flash. And the audience goes wild.

> BEGIN ACT 2.

Chapter Text

ACT 2

> Sprigg: Realize that you have not been killed by meteors.

You are SPRIGG PLANTR and you have not been killed by meteors! You aren't sure about the rest of the world, or your coplayers, but you are pretty certain that you are solidly alive.

"I think, therefore I am." - Troll René Descartes

> Sprigg: Look for that neon cyan seizureglobe.

Right, you tossed your action figure of the POLYMATH CHAMPION, one of your favorite figures in recent Alternian history, into the flashing seizureglobe, but you have no clue what happened to it while solving the cube puzzle produced by the pre-punched card Maddie gave you. Hold on. Wait. You could've sworn you just heard giggling and a flash of cyan coming from the nutrition block.

> Sprigg: Investigate.

You enter the block.

???SPRITE: < OH CRAP, IM ALIVE >
SPRIGG: i dunno if you tehcnically are but yeah sure
???SPRITE: < UGH, WHAT IS UP WITH THIS TEXT COLOR >
SPRIGG: what do you evn mean by that
SPRIGG: were talkng out loud. what
???SPRITE: < UH, MY SPEECH IS BRIGHT CYAN? THE WORDS THAT I AM SAYING? >
SPRIGG: ok sure whatevr
???SPRITE: < OK THIS IS BETTER. THIS IS WAYYY BETTER! ME LIKEY! >
SPRIGG: sooo youre the polymath champion right. thats pretty cool
SPRIGG: shoullld i call you like polymathchampionsprite or is that too much of a mouthful
SPRIGG: how abouttt
SPRIGG: pollysprite
POLLYSPRITE: < WHAT KIND OF A NAME IS POLLY SUPPOSED TO BE >
SPRIGG: uh idk
POLLYSPRITE: < SO IM A VIDEO GAME NPC NOW, BUT ALSO A FANFIC CHARACTER >
SPRIGG: youre saying words that dont make sense again
POLLYSPRITE: < AW COME ON >
POLLYSPRITE: < NO LEGS??? >
SPRIGG: is there like a precednt for you being held back by a lack of legs because i rlly dont think thatll be an issue for ya
POLLYSPRITE: < DONT QUESTION MY ANNOYANCE, SPRIGG >
SPRIGG: so like what is this place
POLLYSPRITE: < ITS THE LAND OF VALLEYS AND DUNGEONS >
POLLYSPRITE: < YOURE SUPPOSED TO EXPLORE IT AND FIND OUT WHAT YOUR QUEST WILL BE >
SPRIGG: hold on this isnt alternia is it
SPRIGG: cause altrnia definitely got all blown tf up
POLLYSPRITE: < ARE YOU STUPID >
SPRIGG: so i have been told before!
SPRIGG: it is a badge i wear with pride
POLLYSPRITE: < OK. THE GAME YOU WERE PLAYING WITH YOUR FRIENDS >
(SPRIGG: maddie isnt my friend)
(SPRIGG: and maybe also aihvee if i)
POLLYSPRITE: < IF WHAT. IF YOU HAVE RIZZ? YOU HAVE NO RIZZ. >
SPRIGG: what is this "rizz" you speak of
POLLYSPRITE: < IT DOESNT MATTER DUDE. YOU ARE NOW IN THE MEDIUM. ITS LIKE, ANOTHER DIMENSION YOU GO TO PLAY SGRUB. >
SPRIGG: and i get my own planet here??? cool!!!
POLLYSPRITE: < YEAH, AND YOURE SUPPOSED TO WORK WITH YOUR COPLAYERS TO SOLVE THE ULTIMATE RIDDLE >
SPRIGG: whats the ultim
POLLYSPRITE: < ITS A RIDDLE, DUDE. I CANT JUST TELL YOU IT, DUHHH >
SPRIGG: point takn!
POLLYSPRITE: < HOW LONG IS THIS EXPOSITION GONNA TAKE. WHERE WAS I >
POLLYSPRITE: < OH YEAH. EXPLORE YOUR PLANET, LEVEL UP YOUR ECHELADDER, SOLVE THE RIDDLES OF SKAIA, ETC. >
POLLYSPRITE: < I REALLY WANNA GO SEE IF THERES LIKE COOL BONES OR WEAPONS DOWN IN THE DUNGEONS THOUGH SO IM GONNA GO. BYE >
SPRIGG: hold on w
SPRIGG: aaand shes gone
SPRIGG: wow she wld get along with maddie
SPRIGG: why did they think letting someone lead an army at 7 sweeps old would evr be a good idea

> Sprigg: Follow Pollysprite.

You dash after Pollysprite, entering the livingblock just in time to see her phase through the wall above the fireplace and disappear.

SPRIGG: shiiit

The mantlepiece holds a framed photo of your dear, poor, sweet, precious dearly departed Frogpop, may the Last Guardian watch his soul. Above it, the gray brickwork hides a SECRET PASSAGEWAY that leads to the basement of your hive. It's dark and creepy down there, and Maddie has left "gifts" for you there on more than one occassion. Sometimes you think you can still hear daywalkers groaning when you can't sleep during the day.

> [S] Sprigg: Descend.

You take a deep breath, then push the combination into the bricks. With the creaking of stone, the fireplace opens up into a flight of stairs that leads down into the dark. As you begin to proceed into the darkness, you slowly come to realize that the stairs have gone down much further than they should. You walk more cautiously, trying to make out the carvings on the walls of the passageway. Even your nocturnal vision isn't quite equipped to see in this level of absolute darkness, but they seem to be patterns of animal-shaped hieroglyphs repeating again and again. Eventually, you start to see a faint blue glow coming from further down the long, winding flight of stairs. It's Pollysprite, rummaging through a treasure chest in a large stone chamber.

SPRIGG: uhhh hey pollysprite!
POLLYSPRITE: < HI SPRIGG!!! >
SPRIGG: i am guessing thaaat whatevrs in that chest is supposed to be mine right hahaha
POLLYSPRITE: < DUH, YEAH, CANT YOUR GAME GUIDE DO A LITTLE SCOUTING AHEAD? >
POLLYSPRITE: < ITS JUST A FEW BOONIES, SOME GRIST, ALSO THIS SICK FLAIL THAT I AM TOTALLY KEEPING IF YOU DONT MIND >
SPRIGG: boonies? grist? pollysprite. what the hell are you talking about
SPRIGG: and yeah you can keep the flail whatevr
POLLYSPRITE: < OK, SO I AM GONNA HAVE TO BE THE EXPOSITION HERE >
SPRIGG: yes. please do be the exposition. isnt that your entire job
POLLYSPRITE: < LE SIGHHH >
POLLYSPRITE: < I WILL JUST GO BACK OVER WHAT I HAVE ALREADY SAID IN CASE YOU NEED A REFRESHER >
POLLYSPRITE: < AND FOR THE SAKE OF THE READER >
POLLYSPRITE: < PLEASE HOLD ALL QUESTIONS UNTIL THE END! >
POLLYSPRITE: < AHEM! YOU ARE PLAYING THE GAME SGRUB >
POLLYSPRITE: < THE GAME DESTROYED OUR HOME PLANET BY SENDING DOWN A RAIN OF METEORS. HOPE YOURE GOING ALRIGHT WITH THAT >
POLLYSPRITE: < USING THE GAME CONSTRUCTS PLACED IN YOUR HIVE BY YOUR SERVER PLAYER, YOU GAINED ACCESS TO THE MEDIUM, THE PLACE WHERE THE GAME TAKES PLACE >
POLLYSPRITE: < YOU ALSO BECAME THE SERVER PLAYER FOR YOUR OWN SERVER PLAYER'S CLIENT PLAYER, COMPLETING THE CHAIN AND ALLOWING ALL THREE OF YOU TO ENTER SIMULTANEOUSLY >
POLLYSPRITE: < YOU HAD TO SOLVE A PUZZLE CUBE CREATED FROM YOUR CRUXITE DOWEL AND PRE-PUNCHED CARD. WHEN YOU SOLVED THE CUBE, YOU WERE ALLOWED TO ENTER THE MEDIUM >
POLLYSPRITE: < EACH OF THE PLAYERS HAS THEIR OWN LAND WHICH ORBITS SKAIA AT THE HEART OF THE MEDIUM >
POLLYSPRITE: < AT THE VERY CENTER OF SKAIA IS A BATTLEFIELD WHERE THREE ARMIES ARE LOCKED IN AN ETERNAL STALEMATE >
POLLYSPRITE: < BUT WHEN YOU ENTERED YOU CHANGED THAT! >
POLLYSPRITE: < EACH PLAYER PROTOTYPED THEIR KERNELSPRITE BY ADDING AN OBJECT TO IT. THESE PROTOTYPINGS EACH RELEASED THREE KERNELS WHICH TRAVELED THROUGH THE MEDIUM TO THE THREE KINGDOMS THAT ORBIT IT >
POLLYSPRITE: < WITH EACH PROTOTYPING THE BATTLEFIELD CHANGED FORM >
POLLYSPRITE: < NOW THE ARMIES ARE ABLE TO FIGHT AN ACTUAL WAR! >
POLLYSPRITE: < YOUR GOAL IN THIS GAME IS TO HAVE YOUR SERVER PLAYER BUILD YOUR HIVE TALL ENOUGH TO REACH EACH OF THE SEVEN GATES ABOVE IT >
POLLYSPRITE: < BUT BUILDING REQUIRES GRIST WHICH YOU CAN COLLECT BY EXPLORING YOUR LAND AND FIGHTING THE UNDERLINGS >
POLLYSPRITE: < AND BOONIES IS JUST WHAT I LIKE TO CALL BOONDOLLARS WHICH IS THE CURRENCY OF THE MEDIUM INSTEAD OF LIKE CAEGARS OR WHATEVER >
POLLYSPRITE: < I SAY "LIKE TO" AS IF I TALK ABOUT SGRUBAN ECONOMICS REGULARLY WHEN I HAVENT EVEN KNOWN ALL OF THIS INFORMATION LONGER THAN A FEW MINUTES >
POLLYSPRITE: < *NOW*! DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS >
SPRIGG: ok that is a ton of information to take in but uhhh
SPRIGG: nope! can i get that grist though
POLLYSPRITE: < LEARNING FAST! I LIKE IT! >

> Sprigg: Collect grist.

You add 30 units of BUILD GRIST and three units of CHALK GRIST to your GRIST CACHE.

You got 3 BOONDOLLLARS!

You think you might be starting to get the hang of things.

> Sprigg: Be Maddie.

You stop being Sprigg and start being Maddie.

Your client player is nowhere to be seen, nor is his sprite. Not too concerned with this matter, you zoom out your viewport of his hive. You can't see much of his planet, but the surface seems to be a very dense, very thorny forest of low but tangled shrubs. Here and there, small stone structures support passages leading into the ground.

GristTorrent pings you with a notification! Looking at it, you can see that your total grist has just ticked up to a whole 3360 units of BUILD GRIST! Whatever that little twerp is up to hiding away in his hive, it's at least productive. Opening up the build menu of SGRUB, you use the entirety of that grist to add a couple floors to Sprigg's hive. Still a ways to go until the first gate, but whatever. Hopefully he'll get his hands on some more grist soon.

> Maddie: Message your server player.

-- grimoireCyanide [GC] began trolling tippityAmbush [TA] --
GC: (he11o)
TA: ...hi maddie!!!
GC: (did you enter The Medium okay)
TA: ...yes sprigg got me in JUST in time!
TA: ...but my lusus...
TA: ... x:(
GC: (me too, Actua11y.)
GC: (the 1usus, not Entry, a1though you did get me in adaquate1y. <>)
TA: ... (<>!)
GC: (he Insisted on going out to hunt at the 1ast minute)
TA: ...i'm REALLY sorry maddie that must suck
GC: (it isn't Your Fau1t)
GC: (p1ease don't beat Yourse1f up about it)
TA: ...once sprigg builds up my hive enough i am SO coming through the first gate thatll take me to your hive
GC: (thank you)
GC: (were you Ab1e to bring your 1usus With You?)
TA: ...yes!!!
TA: ...i prototyped her before i entered
TA: ...shes squawkin at me RIGHT NOW actually
GC: (typica1 Heronmom.)
TA: ...LITERALLY!
GC: (we11 then, if you are doing we11 and making Progress on the Gates, i think I wi11 1eave to Exp1ore my 1and.)
TA: ...see ya later maddie!!! <>
GC: (see you soon, aihvee.)
GC: (see you Soon.)
TA: ...hehehe!
-- grimoireCyanide [GC] ceased trolling tippityAmbush [TA] --

> [S] Maddie: Exit hive.

You take your first steps out the front door of your hive, and are hit with the smell of damp dirt and mold. As far as you can see, stretching from one horizon to the other, fields of golden grain shift under a pale green sky. Skaia shines like a blueish white sun above. Skullsprite lingers at your side without much to say, other than providing you with the name of your land: the Land of Rot and Wheat.

The name explains the smell, you suppose. You check GristTorrent; there is no new grist to spend. Instead, you decide to explore further.

After perhaps half an hour of walking through the wheat fields, you see a village in the distance, almost blending in with the landscape thanks to its roofs thatched with the same grain that covers the planet.

> Maddie: Enter village.

Purple axolotls bustle around the little streets pushing carts of farm equipment or carrying bushels of grain. Seeing as you're meant to learn your way around your land from your Consorts, as well as buy fraymotifs to use once you're higher level, you go up to the nearest axolotl.

AXOLOTL: Why hello there, stranger in our land!
MADDIE: (he11o.)
AXOLOTL: Anything I can answer for ya quickly? I'd love to talk more but us farmers are all a bit overworked these days!
MADDIE: (hmmm. What's bothering you guys?)
AXOLOTL: Why, it's the Rot! It first popped up halfway across the globe in my home village but I came here to warn them of it!
AXOLOTL: All we axolotls do is farm the land for its wheat to grind flour and bake bread, but the Rot keeps killing off our crops! You can smell it on the air like a sickness.
AXOLOTL: That's because it is a sickness, but for the wheat, not for us.
MADDIE: (i Got that.)
AXOLOTL: Say, they say that one day the Witch will come and do something about the Rot!
AXOLOTL: Personally, I don't buy all that, mostly because they don't say what this witch is supposed to do!
AXOLOTL: Maybe she'll just make everything worse and let the Rot keep spreading, I don't have a clue. I'm just a farmer, what do I know?
AXOLOTL: Well, I really should be on my way but I sure don't mind giving a stranger some tips!
AXOLOTL: After all, I'm not from this part of the land either!
MADDIE: (bye!)

These little guys sure do talk a lot.

You'd like to get a little more information out of them that's actually useful, though.

You approach an axolotl sitting on a little bench outside one of the hay huts. She has a walking stick leaning beside her and looks a bit older than the first.

MADDIE: (hey, Sorry to bother you, but What can you te11 me About the Witch?)
AXOLOTL: Ohoho, interested in those ol' stories, young'un?
AXOLOTL: Well, there's much to be told!
AXOLOTL: If you believe the old tales, which I for one certainly do, long ago, Tartarus was still awake!
AXOLOTL: But then he left a curse over the land, and burrowed deep below the fields to sleep in the heart of the planet. Now we have to contend with the Rot as it poisons our crops!
MADDIE: (and The Witch?)
AXOLOTL: Hold your imps, I'm gettin' there!
AXOLOTL: After Tartarus went to sleep, it was foretold that someday the Witch would arrive and confront him in his lair! Say, I don't think I've seen you around before. Have you heard of any sign of the Witch showing up where you come from?
AXOLOTL: Wait! Silly me, don't answer that. You wouldn't be asking about her if you already knew about her, eh?
MADDIE: (thanks for ta1king!)
(AXOLOTL: Hmm, is it just me or does she not look like an axolotl?)
(AXOLOTL: No, silly me. She has gills on her face, I must just be getting on in my years!)

You smile to yourself as you keep walking through town, both at the adorable little salamanders and your success in learning about your land.

There are still a few things you're wondering about, though. You make your way back towards the edge of town and talk to a heavily built axolotl who looks like some sort of lookout.

MADDIE: (excuse Me, sir)
AXOLOTL: Yes?
MADDIE: (besides the Rot, are you Guys facing any Other Prob1ems? imps, ogres, that Sort of Thing?)
AXOLOTL: Aye, yep. Been seein' underlings out in the fields every now and again. They ain't much trouble to us axolotls.
AXOLOTL: They say they's under orders from Tartarus 'n' the dark planets to keep the Witch outta his lair, though.
AXOLOTL: If you ain't the Witch, they ain't a threat.
MADDIE: (we11, thanks)

That's pretty much all the confirmation you need to hear. You are most certainly the WITCH of DOOM.

You'll come back here once you've got enough Boondollars to buy fraymotifs. For now, you're headed back to your hive. You might just pick a fight on the way there if the opportunity arises.

> Maddie: Head home.

You can see your hive in the distance. Looks like Aihvee's been spending whatever grist Sprigg finds on building up your own hive. It's pretty easy to face towards it and walk that way.

You pause when you think you hear a rustling in the tall grain fields. Suddenly, a QUARTZITE OGRE and two BASALT IMPS burst from the plants!

> Maddie: STRIFE!!!

Three enemies at once is pretty damn rude of Sgrub to throw at you for your first strife in the Medium!

Thank the Last Guardian your strife specibus is loaded and ready to go!

You pull three potions: EXPLODING and 2 ACID.

The QUARTZITE OGRE moves to make its first attack, but it is too slow! You slide between its as it steps over you and slam an EXPLODING POTION beneath its feet.

One of the BASALT IMPS is defeated! It drops 9 BUILD GRIST and 6 SULFUR GRIST!

The QUARTZITE OGRE takes damage!

Before the ogre can recover, you toss an ACID POTION at its head. The mineral representing its game-construct physiology gradually dissolves beneath your chemical spell.

The QUARTZITE OGRE IS DEFEATED! It drops 18 BUILD GRIST, 5 QUARTZ GRIST, and 2 GOLD GRIST!

The remaining imp seems to be panicking at its companions fates. You decide to put it out of its misery with your remaining ACID POTION.

The BASALT IMP is defeated! It drops 6 BUILD GRIST and 4 CHALK GRIST!

> Maddie: Collect spoils.

You gather up the prizes of your battle, and it is efficiently shuttled into GristTorrent.

> Maddie: Head home, for real this time.

You return to your hive, but fail to accomplish much before the narrative switches to the final player yet to be seen in this act!

> Maddie: Be Aihvee.

Currently, Sprigg is being Maddie, but you suppose that Sprigg-being-Maddie can be Aihvee.

> ===>>>

You are now AIHVEE SUNDEW, having freshly entered the Medium!

Right now, you're engaging in some family bonding time with your newly-capable-of-coherent-speech lusus.

HERONMOMSPRITE: squawwwk
HERONMOMSPRITE: squa.squaaawk
AIHVEE: ...whats up mom?
HERONMOMSPRITE: sorry i ate your matesprit's lusus
HERONMOMSPRITE: sad squawk :<
AIHVEE: ...OMG MOM! he is NOT my matesprit!
HERONMOMSPRITE: you did good on the tea btw
HERONMOMSPRITE: like i kept saying you gotta be patient like waiting for a fish to get close enough without seeing your shadow and then you stab it with your beak and swallow it whole
AIHVEE: ...yes mom it's JUST like that
AIHVEE: ...it's nice to talk to you
AIHVEE: ...EVEN if you had to die for it to happen
HERONMOMSPRITE: squawwwk i like that you can actually listen now
HERONMOMSPRITE: you better show those underlings what us sundews are made of
AIHVEE: ...are YOU even technically a sundew
HERONMOMSPRITE: not legally but alternia got crushed with a bunch of firey rocks so i can say whatever i want to my ward. squawk

Before she can start smothering you in feathery hugs again, you hear Trollian informing you of a new message, which makes a fairly staightforward excuse to cut the reunion short and see who is talking to you.

> Aihvee: Check Trollian.

You have 1 unread message from grimoireCyanide.

-- grimoireCyanide [GC] began trolling tippityAmbush [TA] --
GC: (he11o)
TA: ...hi maddie!!!

You then proceed to have the rest of the conversation we already read.

> ===>>>

HERONMOMSPRITE: aihvee
HERONMOMSPRITE: squaaawk ivy
AIHVEE: ...what's up mom?
HERONMOMSPRITE: loads of underlings outside
AIHVEE: ...CRUD
AIHVEE: ...i'll take care of those!

> Aihvee: Look outside.

You peek out your respiteblock window. Sure enough, there are quite a few imps stratching at the walls like daywalkers. You bet you can take them if you can...

> Aihvee: AMBUSH!!!

You leap out the window, butterfly net in hand!

> Aihvee: STRIFE!!!

A SHALE IMP is defeated! It drops 4 BUILD GRIST and 2 TAR GRIST!

A GYPSUM IMP is defeated! It drops 5 BUILD GRIST and 3 SELENITE GRIST!

A SHALE IMP is defeated! It drops 3 BUILD GRIST and 2 TAR GRIST!

A MUD IMP is defeated! It drops 3 BUILD GRIST and 4 GOLD GRIST!

A MUD IMP is defeated! It drops 4 BUILD GRIST and 2 GOLD GRIST!

> Aihvee: Collect spoils.

You collect the imps' remains into your GRIST CACHE, and it is efficiently shuttled into GristTorrent.

> Aihvee: Put that grist to use.

Back in your respiteblock, you return to your husktop and the Sgrub server player application running on it. You really should get to work building Maddie's hive.

> Aihvee: Build.

You spend all your shared BUILD GRIST to improve Maddie's hive and progress her towards her FIRST GATE. Once satisfied, you decide to go exploring.

AIHVEE: ...BYE MOM!
AIHVEE: ...can you take care of any imps that show up while i'm gone?
HERONMOMSPRITE: squawk!

> Aihvee: Explore!

Outside your hive, you find a dry and desolate desert of cracked, dry soil and the occasional shriveled, leafless bush. You can see gently rolling hills, ridges, and impressively eroded formations, including the rim of a large canyon in the distance. Some of the ridges have passages leading into the ground with wooden supports holding up their openings, and you can also see a handful of little towns of wooden buildings. The closest one doesn't seem too far away, and as you walk there, you kill a couple more imps and basilisks.

> Aihvee: Investigate town.

Most of the town--that is to say, the entire thing--is built around one main street with wooden sidewalks and large facades decorating the faces of the buildings. There are a number of Troll Westerns that it reminds you of, though listing their names would take up far too much space. A bright yellow horned toad exits a building through its swinging doors, and you hustle up to him.

AIHVEE: ...EXCUSE ME mr lizard!
HORNED TOAD: Well, ya ain't pullin' the "toad" card on me like them brainless underlin's so I'll humor ya.
HORNED TOAD: What's it yer needin', girl?
AIHVEE: ...i'm not EXACTLY sure where i should START but i was hoping you could tell me, yknow, whats going on around here!
HORNED TOAD: Ya ain't from around here, are ye? We don't take kindly to strangers in these parts...
AIHVEE: ...!
HORNED TOAD: Aye, I don't know why I said that. We ain't got much issue with anyone comin' by these days.
HORNED TOAD: Times are hard, ye see. Just about any ol' lizard in this ol' town would be willin' to give you the scales off their back if ye was willin' to lend a hand.
AIHVEE: ...i'm sorry to hear it!
HORNED TOAD: 'Preciate the sentiment. Now, I'll be headin' back to my home but I'll bet there's plenty o' folks inside that there saloon who'd be happy to tell you just what's been goin' down 'round these parts.
AIHVEE: ...goodbye!

> [S] Aihvee: Enter saloon.

HORNED TOAD: Hey, girl.
AIHVEE: ...me?
HORNED TOAD: Yeah, who else?
HORNED TOAD: Yer new 'round here, ain't ya?
AIHVEE: ...sure am! JUST showed up TODAY!
HORNED TOAD: Well, I ain't certain what you've heard floatin' around but I wouldn't stick around if I was you.
HORNED TOAD: See, ever since Hephaestus started cuttin' off our mines we've hardly had the coin to go around.
HORNED TOAD: Oh, there's plenty a boonies stashed away but they're worthless. We're just after that gold down in the Land, but there ain't no way to mine it.
HORNED TOAD: Sometimes travelers from out yonder bring in a story or two of a brave maiden who takes our riches back from the Land where Hephaestus won't let us go, but if she's real, why ain't they got gold of their own?
HORNED TOAD: They call her the Rogue, they do.

> ===>>>

You go up to another horned toad.

HORNED TOAD: Ye were wondering about the tales of the Rogue, now were ya?
AIHVEE: ...oh YEAH i guess i WAS
HORNED TOAD: See, all that lot, they've stopped waitin' for her to come, or they never thought she was at all.
HORNED TOAD: Me, though, I reckon she's still a-comin' for us.
HORNED TOAD: They say she'll bring riches to us all, and stop Hephaestus from squanderin' it all in his caves.
AIHVEE: ...what's this ROGUE supposed to BE LIKE?
HORNED TOAD: Well, some say she's a horned toad, all armored in scales and red around the eyes.
HORNED TOAD: Ye know we can shoot blood from our eyes, eh?
AIHVEE: ...ok WOW i did NOT know that but i am GLAD i DO.
AIHVEE: ...that is AWESOME.
HORNED TOAD: Oh, it ain't much.
HORNED TOAD: Well, some folks say she's a horned toad, a hero of our people, but I say she's somethin' else entirely.
HORNED TOAD: From one of the three kingdoms in the sky, maybe.
HORNED TOAD: There ain't many other places a person could be from, after all.
HORNED TOAD: Now, where'd ya say ye was from again?
AIHVEE: ...oh, UM! just over the hill off that way!
HORNED TOAD: Yer a curious type, ain't ya.
HORNED TOAD: Well, if ye hear word of the Rogue as ye make yer way about this town, I wouldn't mind if ya stopped back by to pass it on to me.
HORNED TOAD: I'm 'round here just about every night.
AIHVEE: ...i'll TRY to remember!

> Aihvee: Talk to the bartender.

AIHVEE: ...so, what exactly is up with the MINES?
HORNED TOAD: Well, darlin', we used to get down to the deepest parts of 'em with elevators down the mineshafts, but Hephaestus messed 'em up so they stopped workin'. He's much better with 'em machineries than us lizards 'n' there weren't much we could do about the elevators.
HORNED TOAD: When we started tryin' to keep minin' for gold anyhow, he got pretty darned mad 'bout us not stayin' out of his way and collapsed a couple o' mineshafts on our miners' scaly horned heads.
HORNED TOAD: My ol' pops was in one o' those parties, Skaia bless his heart, an' I ain't too keen on advisin' folks to follow his footsteps.
HORNED TOAD: It's a dangerous underworld down there, he used to tell me.
HORNED TOAD: Oh my, I don't need to be dumpin' all this on some visitor.
HORNED TOAD: Should I pour you a drink, dear?
AIHVEE: ...NO thank you, i'm just 5 sweeps and i ain't, I MEAN i'm not real big on the SUGARY ELIXIRS or whatever the purplebloods get up to anyways
HORNED TOAD: Oh no, it's just muddy water.
AIHVEE: ...oh.
AIHVEE: ...i will STILL pass on that.

> Aihvee: Return to your hive.

Yeah, you think it's about time to go home.