Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

But at no point did I portray you as a monster… so why do you insist on making me one?” Ava cried.

She felt like everything was spinning. She was overwhelmed, stressed, nauseous. Like her entire body was quickly becoming weaker.

“Why do you want to hurt me so badly?” She continued.

Ava couldn’t even say another word. Anger filled her body, but so did anxiety.

She speed-walked out of the building, trying to get to her car as quickly as she could.

However, when she was reached her car and began to unlock it, she felt her whole body collapse onto the concrete, loosing consciousness almost instantly as she hit the ground.
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Connor stood there after Ava left, for what felt like hours.
His mind had been overwhelmed for days. Weeks even.
He didn’t know what to believe.
All he knew he believed was that he needed a goods night rest before a completed surgery the next day.

When Connor made his way out to the carpark, to wait for his car to be brought from the vallet parking, he noticed Ava’s car was still parked there.

He sighed, really not wanting to see Ava for the rest of the night. He intentionally waited to make sure he wouldn’t bump into her on the way out.

Suddenly, in the dark, he noticed a person lying on the concrete, in front of Ava’s car.

He quickly ran over the person, and set his backpack down on the ground next to him as he bent down.

“Ava!” Connor gasped as he realised who the person collapsed on the floor was.

“Ava? Ava! Hey, Ava! Ava, can you hear me?”Connor quickly questioned, concerned.

When he wasn’t getting any sort of response from her, he swiftly, but carefully, picked her up in his arms and carried her into the ED.

As soon as he entered through doors of the ED, Maggie looked up and even had to do a double take to make sure she was seeing right.

“Connor?” Maggie questioned, alarmed.

“It’s Ava. Found her unconscious next to her car” Connor explained.

“You’re going to Bagdad” Maggie told him.

Connor made his way over to Bagdad, with Ava still unconscious in his arms.

He definitely felt even more overwhelmed than earlier.

He focused on putting Ava down onto the bed, and started to hook her up to the machines before Natalie, Will and Ethan ran in to help him.

“What happened?” Ethan asked.

“I don’t know! We were talking and then I found her unconscious next to her car when I was heading out!” Connor explained. He didn’t want to add in all the details about their fight, and Ava’s crying.

“Looks like she’s hit her head pretty hard” Will
stated, assessing her injuries.

“And her blood pressure is pretty low” Natalie added

“I-I don’t even know what exactly happened to her! She seemed find before!” Connor started to panic.

“We need to get her up to CT for a scan of her head” Connor heard Ethan tell one of the nurses.

“It’s okay man, we’ll help her. You should head home and get some rest, you’ve had a long day” Will told him, honestly.

“No, I want to stay and help” Connor told Will.

“Connor-“ Will began to say, but was interrupted by Connor.

“I’m going up with her” Connor told Will, without any hesitation.

Connor was so confused. One minute he was fighting with her, and the next, she was unconscious in a hospital bed.

Everything just happened so quickly.

He was still mad at Ava. Furious, even. But he couldn’t leave her in such condition.

As Connor ran to the elevator to catch up with Ava, he was stopped by Ms Goodwin when stepped out of one of the elevators.

“Dr Rhodes! I heard about Ava, is she alright?” Ms Goodwin asked Connor, putting a hand on his shoulder in comfort.

“We don’t know yet. She hit her head pretty bad. She’s going up for a CT now” Connor explained.

“I’m so sorry to hear about what happened. Maggie rang me as soon as you brought her into the ED” Ms Goodwin said.

“I’m going to go up to CT and check on her” Connor responded, not wanting to miss any important updates about Ava’s condition.

“Please keep me updated, Dr Rhodes” Ms Goodwin stated.

Connor nodded his head and made his way into the next available elevator.

Chapter Text

When Connor got up to the floor Ava was on in the hospital, she was already in for her CT scan.

He wanted to be in there, to see the scans for himself in real time, but he knew he shouldn’t.

He looked around at the quiet and empty waiting area near the room she was in, and took a seat, sighing.

There were a million thoughts going through his mind at once.

He was still so puzzled as to what had happened. He didn’t notice her seeming unwell earlier… he only noticed how upset she was when talking to her.

He just still could not believe Ava. What she had done. What she lied about.

Did he even know the real Ava?

Finally, after Connor felt like he had waited years, Ethan exited the room Ava was in.

“Ethan!” Connor shouted, a little too loudly, getting his attention.

“Ah, Connor. I was just going to come looking for you” Ethan said as he walked over to Connor.

“What’s wrong?” Connor stressed, seeing the look on Ethan’s face.

“We’re taking her in for emergency surgery” Ethan told him, straight up.

“Surgery? Ethan, just tell me what’s going on!” Connor snapped.

“You know I can’t disclose patient information” Ethan said, calmly.

“I’m her emergency contact” Connor blurted out.

Well, at least he was when they were together.

But she wouldn’t have changed her emergency contact within not even a month…

right?

Connor knew Ethan wasn’t meant to just take his word for it, but under the circumstances, he had hoped he would oblige

“I trust you… Ava’s scans show a small
bleed in her brain” Ethan admitted.

“A brain… bleed?” Connor questioned, saying the words as if he didn’t know what a brain bleed was.

“You know how rare it would be to see a patient have a brain bleed after falling onto concrete, from standing flat on the ground” Ethan sighed.

“Yeah, I-I just found her on the ground next to her car. She must have been walking to her car and just collapsed” Connor said.

“Do you know if she has had any prior head injury? Any previous head trauma?” Ethan asked.

“No, she’s never mentioned anything” Connor shook his head.

“Well, we’re gonna do some further testing to make sure she has no further injuries. Then when she wakes up, we’ll send in Dr Reese to see if she’ll open up to her about any previous injury” Ethan explained.

“Wait, do you think she’s been keeping her medical history from me?” Connor quickly inquired.

“I don’t know. There’s nothing in her medical records about previous injuries at all. I just think… maybe if there was a previous head injury, it might not be something she wanted to talk about” Ethan responded.

“But-“ Connor tried to ask another question, but Ethan apologised, saying he had to go.

Connor had so many questions.

And for a few minutes there, he completely forgot he was just angry at Ava an hour ago.

Finally, after many scans later, Ava was admitted. She had yet to wake up.

From what he had heard, the only thing shown on the scans of concern was the bleed, which was contained in surgery.

Chapter Text

Connor waited patiently for days, or tried to wait patiently, as he sat in the chair bedside Ava’s bed.

Of course, he only could visit her and try to be patient after his shifts at work.

He spoke to the nurses and doctors moving and out, but there were no answers about why this all happened.

Dr Abrams went in and out, checking on Ava, but his examination couldn’t be completed until Ava was awake.

Connor’s thoughts scattered back and forth between worry and anger.

His mind would drift off to thoughts of what Ava did, and their fight earlier.

However, when he looked over at Ava, his mind filled with worry and anxiety.

When Ava woke up and he knew she was going to be okay, he wasn’t going to stay.

He cared for Ava, of course, but he couldn’t shake the fact that Ava lied to him countless times.

Right now, his thoughts were bouncing between worry and care for her, and anger, for her.

The things she lied about weren’t little white lies.

They hurt him, emotionally.

He didn’t know if he hated Ava. He hated using the word hate.

But what she had done…

Though, when he found Ava unconscious outside, he couldn’t leave her. No way could he leave her like that, or while she was still unconscious. That would be so cruel. He still did care about her, of course.

All her lies just tore apart his trust in her.

Maybe he didn’t hate Ava?

Chapter Text

On the fourth day since Ava’s incident, Connor was getting seriously worried.

Maggie had convinced him to go home and actually get a good nights sleep, after the second night he slept at the hospital.

But everyday, he went back to the hospital after his shift.

Ava still had not woken up.

Luckily, during surgery, they were able to stop the bleed, and no further bleeding had occurred.

Connor knew brain injuries take time to heal and recover from but the whole situation still stressed him out.

None of them still even knew how or why she obtained a bleed in her brain. It was highly unlikely it happened just from her recent fall.

No other damage showed in her scans, thank goodness.

“Dr Rhodes?” Dr Reese asked, gently knocking on Ava’s room door, which was open.

“Dr Reese! Hi” Connor replied, startled, sitting in the chair beside Ava’s bed.

Dr Reese made her way into the room, closing the door behind her.

She sat down on the chair next to Connor, looking at Ava in silence, before she spoke.

“So, Dr Choi filled me in on the details…” Dr Reese began to say.

“Look, she’s never mentioned any kind of past medical history to me, okay?” Connor said sternly.

“I was actually going to ask how you are doing? With this whole situation?” Dr Reese said, calmly.

Oh. That was definitely not what Connor expected her to ask.

Truthfully, he was just annoyed with the repetitive question, because he felt a bit… guilty?

He felt guilty because he had never really asked Ava about her past. Her home. Her family. Her friends.

“I’m doing okay” Connor answered.

“I know you and Ava are really close” Dr Reese stated.

Okay, clearly she didn’t know about their breakup.

Actually, no one knew, expect them, of course.

it definitely was not the time to tell everyone they broke up and are fighting a lot recently.

“Yeah…” Connor responded, unsure of what to say.

“You know you can always come talk to me or Dr Charles, right?” Dr Reese mentioned.

“I know” Connor mumbled.

Connor was not in the mood to talk. He was tired, grumpy, hungry, worried and stressed.

He felt like he couldn’t think straight.

After their awkward and quick chat, Dr Reese left Connor alone again.

It was just him and his thoughts.

Chapter Text

On the fifth day since the incident, after his 12 hour shift on trauma in the ED, Connor headed up to the ICU to check on Ava.

When he made it to her room and walked inside, he froze.

Ava was awake, sitting up in bed, nodding at Dr Abrams who was clearly doing a neurological exam on her.

He was shocked because he had not idea she was awake. No one had paged him, messaged him, or called him.

As if Dr Abrams could sense Connor was there, he turned around.

“Dr Rhodes, do you mind?” Dr Abrams sighed.

“I-I…” Connor stuttered.

Ava held her gaze down onto the bed, not even looking at Connor, or acknowledging him.

“Dr Rhodes, give me some space so I can finish my exam” Dr Abrams said, annoyed.

Silently, Connor turned around and walked out of the room, over towards the nurses station of the ICU.

“Why did no one alert me that she was awake?” Connor questioned, slightly angry he wasn’t informed.

“We were going to, Dr Rhodes, but we found out you were in surgery and didn’t want to interrupt” The nurse explained.

Connor let his hand drop into his hands on the edge of the nurse’s station.

His brain was overwhelmed with thoughts.

He was so glad you see her awake finally, but she seemed… different, to how he expected to find her when she woke up.

He expected her to be confused, upset, or scared.

But she seemed almost… calm?

Almost as like what had happened was not a big deal.

After fifteen minutes of Connor waiting outside Ava’s room, at the nurses station, Dr Abrams walked out of Ava’s room.

“How is she?” Connor yelled, a little too loudly, to get Dr Abrams attention.

“Well, after your interruption, I was able to get back to my examination. Her condition is okay. She can speak, her memory is a bit foggy but there seems no be no evidence of brain damage at this stage” Dr Abrams concluded.

Connor let out a sigh of relief and felt his entire body relax.

A foggy memory is to be expected after what she went through, but luckily, it seemed like she was going to be okay.

“I’ll take that as a thank you” Dr Abrams stated before walking off.

“Do you want to go see her?” The nurse at the desk asks Connor.

He was torn between two thoughts.

On one hand, he really wanted to go see her and check in.

On the other hand… did she even want to see him? Would she remember their fight?

Dr Abrams did say she had trouble remembering what happened, but did that mean she doesn’t really remember their fight too?

“I’ll go say hello” Connor signed, bracing himself for whatever reaction Ava was going to have.

“How’s Connor holding up?” April asked Will down in the ED.

“He says he’s fine but… he’s really not taking this well” Will confessed.

“Aren’t they together?” Monique input.

“I heard there was a big fight between the two of them!” Doris barged in.

“What?!” April gasped.

“I don’t know exactly what happened but when I was leaving my night shift, the night Ava had her accident actually, I over heard them yelling!” Doris explained.

“Oh gosh” Will sighed.

“Do you think they broke up?” Monique asked.

“They have been at each other’s throats the last few days” April adds.

“We are not gossiping in my ED, are we?” Maggie questioned, sneaking up on them.

“Oh come on, Maggie! You know you love a little bit of gossip!” Doris teased.

“Not in my ED” Maggie stated.

With that, April, Monique and Doris moved away, getting back to work.

Will stood next to Maggie and shook his head.

“Have you heard any update from Connor?” Will asked.

“Last I heard, he was heading up to check on Ava. See if she was awake. He went up to the ICU about 30 minutes ago” Maggie told him.

Chapter Text

When Connor walked into Ava’s room, she looked up at him for a split second, but then her eyes darted back down to her bed.

“Hi” Was all that Connor could say in that moment.

Ava didn’t speak. She didn’t even look up at him.

“Ava… are you feeling okay?” Connor asked softly.

Again, no response.

“Ava I need you to talk to me, I need to make sure you’re okay” Connor calmly told her, but with a slight bit of worry in his voice.

“I’m okay” Ava almost whispered to him.

Connor could tell she was far from ‘okay’.

She didn’t look at him, she looked pale, confused and uncomfortable.

“Ava, do you need me to get one of the nurses? Do you need anything?” Connor asked her.

Ava didn’t respond verbally, she only shook her head no.

“I-I… I was worried about you, Ava” Connor stuttered.

He had never seen Ava this quiet.

“I’ll let you get some rest” Connor spoke, moving over towards the door.

“Oh, and again… i’m really sorry for blaming you for the faulty patch” He said quickly.

It was Ava’s completely confused face that gave it away to him that she didn’t remember what happened.

Not the fight before her collapse, or him blaming her for his father’s faulty patch.

“You should get some rest” Was the last thing Connor said before he walked out of her room and back down to the ED.
—————————————————-
He blamed her for his father’s faulty patch?

Ava was informed that her memory would be a bit foggy, about the day of the accident, however she was puzzled by Connor’s words.

She remembered they were fighting a lot. If his father did come in with problems, would he really have stooped that low to say it was her fault, since she had placed the patch?

Dr Abrams told her when her accident occurred and what happened, but she still couldn’t recall anything from the day he specified.

Dr Abrams assured her it was normal considering what had happened to her, but after hearing Connor’s words, she wanted so badly to remember what exactly happened.

She didn’t want to believe Connor would stoop that low, as to accuse her of misplacing a patch on his father.

Although, with all the accusations he had to say to her, about her and his father, she didn’t know what to think.

The next day, Ava was greeted by a knock on the door and Connor entered her room.

“Ava?” Connor asked, almost like he was questioning if it was really her.

“Hi Connor” Ava responded quietly.

She watched as Connor slowly walked further into her room.

“How are you feeling?” Connor asked, taking a seat in the chair next to her bed.

“I mean, not great” Ava answered him.

“Right, right…” Connor spoke.

Connor just sat there, looking down at the floor, avoiding Ava, even though he was in her room.

“What did you mean last night?” Ava spoke
up, which caught Connor by surprise.

“What I said last night?” Connor asked, clearly confused.

“You said something about blaming me for a faulty patch?” Ava told him, confused herself.

“Oh… Ava look… i’m sorry. I thought you had purposely hindered my father’s surgery” Connor explained to her.

“Oh… right” Ava responded.