Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was weird to think that this was going to be my last survey, but after a little over thirty years, two polities and one (finally finished) doctorate in geology, I thought it was a good time to finally throw the towel in.

The others, sappy bastards that they are, thought it would be nice to have my last survey be with the remainder of the original PresAux team, only missing two people. Volescu, now in his late nineties, was far past the condition for going on surveys, and Mensah had retired from survey work around ten years ago, joking that she’d “had enough excitement on those for a lifetime.”

That left me, at seventy three, as the oldest member of the team by quite a bit.

It was funny, living in the Corporation Rim, most people don’t make it past their sixties, let alone in a good enough condition to go on a very physically intensive planetary survey. Imagine my surprise when I made it to Preservation and learned that it was common, if not expected to make it past a hundred. Not only that, but being able to stay fairly active for most of them. Truly the wonders of good food, free healthcare and job safety standards cannot be understated. It was nice to be able to do this survey, not because I had to or I'd lose my ability to live, but just because I wanted to and I enjoyed my work.

I couldn’t keep the smile off of my face as I looked at the main area, completely set up and ready to go. It looked so similar to the one from that fateful survey all those years ago. I could almost picture Arada and Overse sitting in the corner, laughing over something funny that Ratthi had said. Pin-Lee leaning over the arm of her chair to show Mensah something that she’d found. Bharadwaj making herself some tea while reading on her display screen. SecUnit… not there.

It hurt to think that SecUnit probably held no fondness for that survey, which, fair enough. It hadn’t been present for the best parts of it, too focused on making sure that its status as a rogue stayed undetected. To it, that survey was nothing more than the highly dangerous and stressful catalyst that slowly and eventually led to it having a better life. Not that I'd been any help in changing that view. I was the one that, despite overwhelming evidence, continued to be suspicious of it and destroyed almost any chance of having a close relationship with it like the others did. That’s why I wasn't surprised when it didn’t come on this survey the way it had for Volescu’s and Mensah’s.

I wasn’t surprised, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t disappointed. I’d thought they maybe, just maybe, we’d made enough progress, but I was wrong. What was worse, I didn’t blame it, I couldn’t blame it. I sighed, about to go make myself some coffee before I felt familiar arms sling around my neck, and a head rest on top of mine.

“Happy last survey, Gurathin!”

I knew it was Ratthi before he’d even spoken. I chuckled.

“Good morning, Ratthi.” I added more grounds in the coffee maker for two cups instead of one.

“You’re up early,” he commented, moving to open the fridge to grab creamer and sweetener.

“Figured it wouldn’t be a good look if I slept through the one survey that I’m actually leading.” I poured the coffee into two mugs, passing one to him and accepting the offered sweetener.

“I guess you’re right about that.” He took a sip from his (unsweetened, disgusting) coffee.

“We managed to get you to kick many habits after leaving the Rim,” said Pin-Lee, walking through the doorway and not making eye contact. “But I will forever regret that we
never got you to stop drinking that sugary abomination that you still somehow call coffee.” She came up to the coffeemaker, and upon seeing it was empty, glared at me. “Not even the decency to make some for the rest of us.”

“You snooze, you lose, Pin-Lee,” Ratthi responded, barely dodging the little packet of coffee that was thrown at him. “Don't throw things at me! Gurathin, tell her that as survey leader, you forbid Pin-Lee from throwing things at me!”

“You’re going to have to pick that up, you know,” I told Pin-Lee.

She did an overly-exaggerated bow.

“Why of course, your most holy survey leaderness.”

“What’s the most holy survey leaderness?” asked Arada sleepily, who was being towed in by Overse. She looked at the coffee machine, and then up at me and Ratthi. “You
didn’t make enough for everyone?” She sounded disappointed.

“HAH, see? Arada’s on my side,” crowed Pin-Lee.

“Agh, Pin-Lee,” Baradwaj called from somewhere out of view. “You sound like a tone deaf bird.”

“Why don’t you say that to my face, coward!” Pin-Lee called in response.

Bharadwaj walked into view.

“You sound like a tone deaf bird when you laugh.” Then she walked over and started boiling water for her tea.

“Your survey highness, tell Bharadwaj to stop being a bitch.”

“Bharadwaj, keep being a bitch,” Ratthi said, passing her the teabags.

Bharadwaj stuck her tongue out at Pin-Lee.

“Alright guys, let's not fight.”

“Yeah,” Arada agreed. It was nice to have someone on my side. “The old man can’t deal with this sort of stuff until after 12 p.m.”

Well, scratch that.

“You’re only younger than me by like, six years.”

Arada patted me on the shoulder.

“A lot can happen in six years.”

Well, that wasn’t ominous at all.

"Guys, guys, let's all stop fighting with each other,” Pin-Lee said, pulling over a chair to stand on. “We need to focus on the serious issue at hand, which is banding together
against our common enemy-” she gestured at me. “He-who-does-not-make-enough-coffee.”

“Not my enemy.” Ratthi took a long and obnoxiously loud sip of his coffee.

“Same here,” Bharadwaj added, stirring her tea.

“You know that this is taking longer than if you actually just made your own coffee, right?” Overse looked between everyone. “Shouldn’t we just do that?”

There were some murmurs of affirmation and dissent from the group, who appeared to elect Pin-Lee herself as their coffee maker. She grumbled a bit at this, but got to making it anyway.

I cleared my throat and attention turned to me.

“Now that we’re all here, and not fighting over coffee- '' Pin-Lee flipped me off. “- I'm going to announce the plans for today. As of yesterday, everything has been set up, so that means that the first group of myself, Ratthi and Bharadwaj will be going to go get samples today, while the second group of Pin-Lee, Arada and Overse will be staying here and doing… whatever you need to be doing,” I finished lamely.

Pin-Lee snorted.

“Too much of a coward to be alone with the rest of us, coffee hoarder?”

“I wasn’t fucking hoarding the coffee!” Yeah, maybe I wouldn't mind not being survey leader again.

It was a dark and stormy day, which is a less common version of your typical ‘dark and stormy night’ and also the current shitshow I was trying to put up with. This was odd and very frustrating, considering that there had been no signs of bad weather when we took off, or even after landing only a few miles away.
There was the crack of lightning, quickly followed by the deep rumble of thunder.

Fucking fantastic, it was literally right on us.

“RATTHI! LETS GO!” I yelled.

“GIVE ME A SECOND, SOMETHING’S WEIRD WITH THE READINGS!” he called back, his words almost getting lost to the wind.

“YEAH, NOT SHIT SOMETHING’S WEIRD, WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A MASSIVE STORM THAT WAS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN LESS THAN FIVE MINUTES AGO!” Bharadwaj shrieked as lightning struck a few hundred yards away from us.

I felt my augments flicker off and on, wincing at the slight crackle of electricity.

“I'M SERIOUS, COME LOOK AT THIS!”

I gave a frustrated groan, and went over to where Ratthi was crouching, Bharadwaj close behind. Ratthi turned the screen towards me.

“I was checking the levels of electromagnetic radiation, since this system’s main star has a higher than average level of radiation and I wanted to see what effect that had on the
plants. You know, the potential effects can be really facinati-”

“Ratthi, we love that you’re really passionate about this, but shut the fuck up.”

Ratthi looked up at Bharadwaj and quickly back down to the screen.

“Oh, yeah, right, so this-” he circled one portion of the screen “-is what the level looked like on our way here and when we first landed. This-” He circled the other portion of the screen that showed much higher levels. “-is what it started to look like around seven or so minutes ago, when we got to this specific area and when the storm started. As you can see, the levels are much higher here, signifying an interruption in the convection-”

“Ratthi, the point?” I asked desperately.

“Something is preventing this part of the planet from absorbing the high amounts of electromagnetic radiation, which is causing the bad weather. Very few things can do this, and because of the technology acting weird and your augments acting up, I think it’s-”

“Alien remnants,” breathed Bharadwaj.

My heart sank.

“Exactly,” said Ratthi. “So what we have right now is an area with extremely high amounts of electromagnetic energy that, combined with the alien remnants, is leading to that energy taking very unpredictable pathways to complete the last part of their journey to the ground.”

“So if you’re right, that means that if we get to the hopper, we’ll be safe?”

Ratthi nodded.

“But it’s not that simple. When I say that the energy is unpredictable, I mean it. It will use anything that it can get to in order to finish its intended path, but especially any
kind of technology. Our equipment, interfaces, your augments, are the ideal conductor for it. Going runs the risk of your brain getting fried.” He looked up at me, his normally
ever present smile missing.

“And staying means getting contaminated…” Bharadwaj’s face went pale.

It was a lose lose situation. Stay and get contaminated (‘or even more contaminated than we were now’ i thought, dully) or go and risk getting electrocuted to death.

Well, there was my choice, laid right out in front of me.

“We’re going to the hopper.”

Bharadwaj and Ratthi turned to me.

“Are you crazy?” Bharadwaj asked.

“It could kill you!” Ratthi added, eyes wide.

“The keyword is ‘could’. If we stay here, we’re guaranteed to get infected with alien remnants and die, if the electricity doesn't get to us first. Like you said, Ratthi, it’s
unpredictable, which means that we might have a chance if we’re smart and make a run for it.” Good, that sounded a lot more confident than I felt.

Bharadwaj pursed her lips and Ratthi looked down at the screen again.

“Okay, let’s do it.” Bharadwaj turned to me. “If you die because of this, I’m going to kill you.”

“And I'll let you.”

“Alright,” Ratthi said, a slight tremor in his voice. “On my signal, run like hell. Make sure to keep yourself as small as possible while doing so. The shorter you are, the better of a chance you’ll have. That’ll be easy for you, Gurathin.” He gave me a weak smile. I smiled back and nodded at him. “Okay, three….two….one….go!”

And with that, we were off. Ratthi, as the youngest, was easily in the lead, followed by Bharadwaj only a few yards behind. I was running as fast as I could, but I could already feel my legs starting to hurt and an ache forming in my side. Nonetheless, I kept going.

There was another strike of lightning nearby, causing my augments to short circuit again and me to trip on an unseen divot. There was a crunch as my glasses broke, but I scrambled to my feet and just kept running, albeit slower now. I felt like my ankle had been twisted, but there wasn't enough time to do anything about that.

“Hurry!” I heard one of them call, but I couldn't make their voice out over the wind, and I sure as hell couldn’t see them.

I kept moving forward. Any second now I'd be out of this place and back at the Hab. I kept reminding myself this, but I just kept wishing that I wasn’t here anymore, that I
was younger, that I’d never even need to think about this stupid fucking survey every again.

Then there was another strike of lighting and everything went black.

Chapter Text

It had taken a lot to convince SecUnit that yes, I was okay, and no, I didn’t need to be checked by the MedSys. Unfortunately, that did not convince Ratthi, who made me go anyway.

There had been an immense sense of deja vu walking into the Hab. I’d never thought I’d see it again (like any other sane person would believe). It was uncanny.

Thirty one.

Ratthi was thirty one.

I did the math. That would make me fifty three. That would also mean that the last twenty years; various retirements, everything with Adamantine, TranrollinHyfa, not even GreyCris had happened yet. Almost a full third of my life was just…gone. It was one thing to know that I’d have to do this, that we’d have to deal with GreyCris again, but it was entirely different to actually BE here again.

I think I should have been panicking right now, but it almost felt like I was watching all of this happen from outside of my body.

SecUnit was another issue. I knew that it was rogue, and that it was trustworthy, but no one else knew that. What were the odds that SecUnit would even trust me? What am I supposed to say? ‘Hey SecUnit, you don’t know me, but I’ve actually known you for twenty years and I’ve mysteriously time traveled to the past. Oh, by the way, I know that you’re rogue and there’s this company that’s going to try and kill the whole survey group multiple times, so if you could help with that, that’d be great.’

Yeah, that would go over well.

That did raise an interesting question, though. Was I alone, or had someone else traveled back with me? Ratthi was a no, obviously. Bharadwaj was the only other person who’d been with us, so I’m guessing she was my best shot.

Unfortunately, that was a shot I’d have to take later, as I was being hovered over by a very worried Ratthi for the second time today.

“Are we sure it’s correct?” He asked SecUnit.

“The MedSys reads as mostly clear, Dr. Ratthi.”

I recognized that tone as being SecUnit’s buffer. Ratthi didn’t notice this, just one more difference between my Ratthi and this Ratthi.

“Can you try it again?”

SecUnit complied, but I noticed a small pause that gave away the fact that it really couldn’t care less. We all watched as the MedSys scanned me again, only to report the same things;

Twisted ankle, mild concussion, minor bruising.

It didn’t mention anything about my augment, or about actual brain damage. Even the concussion was only a result of the fall.

There was no sign of what had happened. There was also no signs of the additional twenty year of life I’d lived. I hadn’t noticed it when I’d first woken up, but everything felt less achy, less stiff. I guess there was a bit of a silver lining to this whole situation, regardless of how small.

“Shouldn’t he stay in Medical for a bit? Just in case?”

“Dr. Gurathin is free to go to his room. To take up valuable medical space is against procedure.”

I could tell that ‘against procedure’ in this case meant ‘I don’t want to have to babysit a grown man who is pretty much completely fine’.

“It’s fine, Ratthi,” I reassured. “I’ll just go to my room and rest for a bit. I need a nap after all of this.”

Ratthi still looked worried, but he gave in.

“Okay, just… let me know if you need anything. I’ll see if I can check on you soon.”

“I will.”

I lied. I was not resting and I was not going to contact Ratthi despite needing something. I’d only barely managed to convince him not to go full-on hopper parent, going to him about the best way to go about reversing time travel would probably convince him to keep me in Medical for the rest of the survey. I couldn’t afford that, so instead I paced around my room, trying to think of a plan.

I heard the door to my room open, and I whipped around to see who (or what) it was, grabbing the first thing within reach to defend myself with (it was a hanger, so if there was really any danger, I was fucked).

“Hey, I just came to check in on you. Ratthi said you took a nasty fall.”

I let go of my breath. It was just Overse.

“I’ll be fine, it’s nothing too serious,” I responded, dully. Neither of those statements were really true, but I really didn’t want to have to explain what was actually going on. Even if the person who I was explaining it to was one of my friends. I sat back down on my bed.

“You always say that.”

“I’m serious, though. It hurts a bit, but I'll be fine. I can get back to work soon.” I didn’t want to worry anyone, especially with what was to come.

“Don't worry,” Overse assured me, coming over to sit next to me placing her hand on my shoulder. “I talked to Dr. Mensah, and she’s cleared you from having to do any strenuous work for the next few days. She’s mostly just going to have you review the stuff we’ve already gathered.”

“Thanks, Overse.”

She gave a nod and left, but not before making sure I had everything. She was nice like that.

I messaged Bharadwaj.

‘Hey.’

A few seconds later the little typing dots appeared.

‘Hey. How are you feeling?’

‘I’ve been better,’ I answered truthfully.

‘I hope you feel better!’

I exhaled deeply, and sent her another message. one that would hopefully prove that I wasn’t alone here.

‘Do you think time travel is possible?’

(Okay, yeah, maybe it’s a bit on the nose, but I’m not the creative one in this friend group.)

I watched the dots bounce, lightly tapping my fingers in time with them. It was oddly relaxing.

‘Maybe. It’s kind of a weird grey area. I think that it could be possible to travel forward, but not back.’
‘Why do you ask?’

‘I’m reading a book about time travel right now’ I lied.
‘Would you tell anyone if you time traveled?’

‘I don’t know. Probably not.’
‘I’d be worried about messing something up.’
‘You should send me the book, I’ve just finished reading one of my own books and could use á recommendation.’

Ah, shit. I quickly searched my (extensive, not to brag or anything) collection of books until I found something that seemed to be vaguely related to time travel and hurriedly sent it. I was about to give a sigh of relief when I got a better look at the cover and oh-

‘(Link)’

That was a very not good book. Like, pretty much just sex. Ah. Well, this was going to be awkward.

(Don’t judge me, I download books en masse whenever I have the space. Normally they come in big collections, so I don’t really know what they do or don’t have. I wouldn’t have chosen that book if I’d had a say, I didn’t even know that I had it.)

‘Ha, very funny.’

Oh thank the stars, she thought it was a joke. I ran another search (excluding anything explicit) and found a much more tame book, which I sent instead. I hadn’t read this one either, but it seemed to at least be better than the first one.

‘(Link)’

‘Thanks! Hope you get feeling better. And if you need anyone to talk to while you’re stuck here doing all the boring work, you can always come talk to me. Unless I’m busy, then you can go bother Ratthi instead :)’

Her offer made me give a small smile. It wasn’t a lot, I was still alone, but at least I had my friends. They may not be the friends that I remembered, but they were still my friends, and they were still here for me. Bharadwaj was still here for me.

I tried not to think about the fact that in a week, she’d be inches away from death.

I tried not to think about her body in the hopper, leg mangled almost beyond recognition and covered in blood.

I tried not to think about the fact that she’d have a permanent limp for the rest of her life.
I failed.

‘It will be fine’ I told myself as I closed the chat. ‘You have a full week to prep before shit goes down, and plenty of uninterrupted time to do so. This is just a chance to do things better this time around. Everything will be fine.’

Chapter Text

Everything was not fine.

I was extremely grateful to both Ratthi and Overse for convincing Mensah to give me a break (even though not much convincing was required), but that extra time alone while everyone else was busy was not doing good things for my mental wellbeing.

I laid in my room, elbow-deep in the feed. My current plan was to try to use the extra twenty years of acquired knowledge about spyware, malware, and hacking that I’d either figured out myself or from SecUnit (and it’s various ‘associates’, like the SecUnit Three, and the terrifying ship AI, Perihelion.) to try and catch any changes that might have been made by GreyCris.

So far, everything was turning up clean, which either meant they were much better than I’d expected, or they hadn’t made any significant moves yet.

(There was actually a secret third option, which was that I wasn’t as good as I thought I was, and was missing something. I was currently trying not to think about that option.
Unfortunately, I was not successful at that and was instead thinking about it a lot.)

I’d been at this for around six hours now, and was getting very frustrated with the lack of answers. I hit my head against the wall, groaning as the millionth scan I’d put this specific section through turned up clean. What was worse, I was barely a fifth of the way through all of our systems. I felt that odd tensing in the back of your throat that you got when you were just so frustrated and angry that you wanted to yell and cry and throw something at a wall.

So that’s exactly what I did, throw my pillow at the wall. It made a muffled thump on impact, and fell to the floor in a way that seemed much sadder than it had any right to seem. Stupid pillow, you overdramatic piece of shit.

Now i was pillowless and still sad/angry/frustrated. Great.

Everyone was going to die and it was going to be my fault because I couldn’t fucking find anything other than some slight abnormalities that were clearly interference, but would be a nightmare to prove that to someone who didn’t know that through the power of hindsight.

Why did I have to be the one to travel here? Mensah would probably already have a plan, or at least be able to get everyone to calm down long enough to make a plan. Pin-Lee would definitely have a plan. Bharadwaj, Ratthi, Arada, and Overse may not have a plan, but they were all charismatic and/or well liked enough that everyone would take them seriously.

Then there was me, the barely-three-years-excorporate (at this point in time, anyway) with no people or leadership skills who was mildly good with technology.

Ugggghhhh, SecUnit made this all seem so easy when it did it. I don't know how it managed to always seem so calm and collected no matter what was going on. I wish I could have that confidence, or at least just have it here for a second...

Wait a moment…

SecUnit WAS here. Maybe not in the way I wanted it to be, but that was better than nothing. Before I could think about it too much, I pinged it and opened a feed conversation.

‘I’ve noticed something weird with our system’s connectivity. Could you do a run-through and check for any anomalies?’ I remembered faintly Pin-Lee mentioning something about a connectivity issue back during the original survey, and was hoping that it wasn’t too vague an excuse.

‘Affirmative, Dr. Gurathin’ was its response, and then I could feel its presence in the feed strengthen.

I felt a little bad about interrupting it from whatever it was doing (watching media, most likely) and making it do the asinine task of coming through all of the Hab’s systems with a fine-toothed comb, looking for a (maybe nonexistent) needle in a veritable field of haystacks.

With that covered, I started the next phase of my plan.

I’d been able to vaguely map out where I remember GreyCris’s whole operation being located, as well as any of the anomalous zones that I could think of.

I wondered in the back of my mind that if we just stayed out of their way and stayed out of the anomalous zones, maybe they’d just leave us alone. If it could prevent all the bloodshed and future crimes that I and the others would have to commit in the following two years.

Then I saw the mark that signified DeltFall’s location, a harrowing reminder that it hadn’t been about being a threat, it was about power and money and greed. It was about killing a whole survey team and attempting to kill a second for the crime of being on the same planet.

It was PreservationAux and DeltFall or GreyCris.

It was us vs them.

I exhaled deeply, pulled up the hastily-made fake feed address, and sent a message to DeltFall.

‘Hello DeltFall survey team, this is Dr. G, a representative from the Company.
We’ve experienced some issues regarding outside sources interfering with our systems and potentially allowing foreign systems to operate them. The affected areas include; Survey packages, SecUnit order priority, and general system issues. We’d recommend being very cautious about accepting any new attempted interactions with your systems, and in the meantime, we have attached a semi-corrected version of the survey packet until we can fully replace it.
Thank you for your cooperation.’

Was this a crime?

Yes, but I figured that once GreyCris tried to kill everyone, the authorities would be less concerned with who sent that message and more with the actual attempted (hopefully) murderers.

Was it stupid to use my actual initial in the message?

Also yes, but I didn't choose to become a systems analyst and geologist because of my flair for creativity, don't judge me.

Hopefully this will be enough. Hopefully it wasn’t already too late, and all or at least some of the DeltFall members are still alive.

It was worth it even if it was just one life that would be saved. (As much as I hate to admit it, this is a statement I would not have made if I were my actual self at this time. If the Rim drives one thing into you, it’s self-preservation above all else.)

Regardless, I couldn’t help but still worry a bit. There was always the chance that everything I did would amount to nothing, or worse, cause something bad to happen that hadn’t initially. What if the message I sent was used by GreyCris as evidence against us in their lawsuit? What if someone got hurt because of a change I made? What if something happened to SecUnit? What if by preventing us from going to DeltFall, I was preventing a key moment that helped form the rest of the team’s trust in SecUnit? What if I was fucking with the timeline too much?

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck, time travel is really complicated.

Okay, Gurathin, focus. It will probably be fine. It’s not your fault here, you didn’t ask to time travel.

(Except that you kinda did wish that your previous survey wasn’t your last one, and this is technically a fulfillment of that, but you didn’t expect the universe to ACTUALLY listen. IT WAS RHETORICAL, UNIVERSE.)

Let’s not catastrophize. Let’s make a list. Lists are good, lists are safe.

Important Events About to Happen:

⁃ There’s going to be an issue with the Survey Packet
⁃ GreyCris is going to try and get SecUnit to unknowingly download a combat override module
⁃ Bharadwaj and Volescu are going to nearly die
DeltFall IS going to die
⁃ GreyCris is going to try and sabotage the bot pilot on the big hopper
⁃ The remaining DeltFall SecUnits are going to try and kill us
⁃ The rest of us are nearly going to die several times
⁃ GreyCris is going to try and take over the Hab

Okay, that’s a solid list. I can work with that. I also knew that our beacon wasn’t functional in the main timeline, but maybe it was here? Did we know when GreyCris messed with it? Well, with SecUnit taking care of the systems and having already sent the message to DeltFall, it was a better starting point than anything. Who knows? Maybe it will work out in our favor.

Yeah, let’s go with that.

-

I’d almost made it out of the Hab when I heard a very level voice from behind me.

“Dr. Gurathin, what are you doing?”

I jumped. Fuck, was everyone sneaking up on me or was it just the paranoia of the situation getting to
me?

“SecUnit. Hi, hey. I thought you were going through the systems.”

“I did.” Fuck, I forgot how fast it could be.

“And?”

“I found several small anomalies.”

Good, so now we knew that GreyCris had already messed with our stuff.

“Anything active?”

“Not yet.”

“What do you mean ‘not yet’? I thought you said you were done?”

To the untrained eye, SecUnit seemed completely normal and otherwise unreadable due to the even voice and the darkened faceplate. Fortunately, I spent the past twenty years of my life around it and have become fluent in the odd languages of SecUnitese, and could therefore tell that it was in fact irritated with me and probably thought I was stupid.

“I did go through all the code. The anomalies that I found have just not been activated yet, Dr. Gurathin.”

It was weird how it calling me by my name could somehow feel more insulting than ‘asshole’ or ‘idiot’, or even ‘dick’.

“Is it possible for you to remove them?”

“I can try.”

Again, to translate from SecUnitese; yes I can, but I’m not happy about it and want an excuse in case I just decide to ignore it and watch media instead.

“Good, thank you.”

It seemed a bit taken aback by being thanked, and I had to remind myself that this version of SecUnit wasn’t used to that yet.

“Do you require anything else?”

“Um,” I glanced at the exit. “I’m going outside.”

“Do you require assistance? No one is scheduled to leave the Hab for a while.”

It was an added layer of weirdness to see it back in armor again, instead of in the comfy clothes it favored, or even just an envirosuit.

“No, I know I’m not scheduled or anything, I’m just going on a walk.”

“Now that I have answered your questions, security protocol recommends that you remain inside the Hab.”

Translation; Stay inside because I don’t want to deal with whatever shit you’ll get up to if I leave you alone and mostly unattended.

“Please?” I tried semi-desperately. “I won’t do anything stupid, I just need to get out of my head a bit, and walking helps. I’m sure you’d know from experience.” Shit I shouldn’t have said that last bit.

It was silent for a moment (shock, I’m guessing. Both at me saying please and saying something about it that was true, but had no idea of how the hell I could have known), long enough that it surprised me that we hadn’t noticed it was rogue earlier.

“Do not leave the perimeter,” it said finally, sending me a map over the feed before walking away.

Now that it knew I was going to be outside, it was going to be a lot harder to sneak off to the beacon, which was already a few miles away. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was going to send a drone to tail me the moment I left, and the last thing I needed was it to think that I was the one sabotaging everything.
I meandered around aimlessly in the vague direction of the beacon, trying to see if it had sent anything after me or was otherwise still watching.

After about fifteen minutes, I decided that this was about as clear a coast as I was going to get and started off in the direction of the beacon, taking a leisurely pace so as to not arouse suspicion. The moment I cleared the trees, I made a break for it.

The less time I could be considered ‘missing’ for, the better.

Chapter Text

As I watched Dr. Gurathin meander (meander is a fun word, I found it in one of my serials recently and have been waiting for an opportunity to use it) near the edge of the perimeter I’d marked out for him, I had the overwhelming sense that something was off.

Well, something was more off than usual anyway. When you’re a paranoid Murderbot, everything is off.

Dr Gurathin was…weird, weirder than any of my other clients. He’d been all right for the first bit of the survey, just largely keeping to himself, but then he just collapsed out of the blue and started acting weird. Asking odd questions, requesting that I pick through the Hab’s systems with a fine-toothed comb, avoiding conversation. (Well, avoiding it more than he used to, from my limited knowledge of his behavior.)

Something had to be up. I’d never seen that kind of shift in a normal person who wasn’t hiding something.

(And I would know. As a SecUnit, I’ve had to spend much more of my time observing humans and augmented humans that seemed like they were hiding things.)

The straw that broke the fauna’s back (Such a weird phrase. Why do humans come up with these kinds of things?) was his shift in both demeanor and behavior towards me. He’d been nothing but suspicious towards me since I’d gotten here, then he falls and all of the sudden he’s asking me for help with things, thanking me, and treating me like a person without any of that precious suspicion. Even Dr. Mensah, who’d been the kindest to me so far, still had her reservations about me. (Fair enough, I would be too in her position.)

I mean, who THANKS the Murderbot that was contracted to their team against their wishes? Who says please when asking that same Murderbot if they can go on a walk outside?

As much as risk and threat assessment told me to be cautious, to be skeptical, there was still a part of me that just… didn’t want to be. There was a faint, stupid hope that maybe he was different. Maybe this would be a good survey, an easy survey, a safe survey.

But I knew that my risk and threat assessment wouldn’t leave me alone until I ran a few diagnostics on the situation.

The current (working) ideas that they were coming so far as to why he was being weird were as follows:

Sent by a rival to do espionage and/or sabotage
Bribed by a rival to do espionage and/or sabotage
Doing something shady just by himself
He’s just weird

(I really hoped it was the last option, but knowing my luck it was most definitely not going to be the last option)

So naturally, when I checked some of the back burnered drones I’d sent to look after him, only to find him missing, I wasn’t too pleased.

(It was at times like these where I wish I could do one of those deep and dramatic sighs that I saw in my media, but unfortunately SecUnit lung capacity would not allow for that. I’ll put that down as reason #356872 on my list ‘Why The company (under case intentional) Sucks Ass’.)

I rewound the footage, watching as he acted casual for a little bit, before glancing around and making a run for it.

…did he really think that he was being sneaky? If he was really messing with this survey group on behalf of a rival, I was starting to feel kind of bad for the rival. They did not have good taste in lackeys.

It looked like I was right about option four not being a plausible option, so I did my best approximation of a sigh, sent a security interdict to the rest of the Hab, ignored the messages (ranging from curious to annoyed to just acknowledgement). and followed Dr. Gurathin into the woods.

Have I ever mentioned that I hated planets? Because I fucking hate planets.

I nearly fell face first into the ground after tripping over a piece of flora? Fauna? A rock? Some combination of the three? A secret fifth option? I don’t care.

How the hell was Dr. Gurathin going so fast?! SecUnits are faster than humans by a pretty large margin, augmented or not. The fact that he still maintained a pretty large distance from me (according to the drones that I’d sent ahead) with none of the difficulties that I was facing were only adding to my suspicion. Maybe whoever he was really working for had brought him here ahead of time to scout out the area. Or had trained him in similar terrain. Maybe this was his actual profession and he wasn’t a systems analyst at all.

(Note to self, remove the ‘Dr.’ from his title until he can actually prove he is a doctor and not a weird spy trained in flora-heavy terrain navigation.)

I watched through my drones as he made it to where the PresAux beacon was, focusing more of my attention on those inputs.

He walked up to the beacon and placed a hand on it, before kneeling down by the launching mechanism. Much to my annoyance, his positioning meant that I couldn’t manage to get a view of what he was doing. No matter what angle I tried to look at with my drones, I couldn’t figure out what he was doing.

He stayed there for about ten minutes doing whatever he was doing before he moved to the other side. I took this opportunity to get one of my drones in to look at the mechanism he’d left.

Broken.

It was broken.

This was sabotage.

There was a sense of dread, the kind that happened when I realized that I’d actually have to do my job. This must be why he’d asked me about the Hab systems, he’d probably put something in there and wanted to make sure that it wouldn’t be detected. Now, he was messing with the beacon.

But it didn’t make sense, the WHY didn’t make sense. It seemed like everyone else in the survey team liked him and seemed to have known him for a while, so why would he want them dead? Besides, he’d been…not awful… to me. He’d treated me almost like I was a person…

No, I had to be honest with myself. There was no other reason for disabling the beacon unless he wanted them dead. It doesn’t matter if he was one of the better clients you’d had, he’s still a threat.

Okay Murderbot, you have a choice here (eugh, I hate actually having to use my free will):

Option number one is you stop Gurathin, saving the rest of the survey team. The consequences of this are an increased risk of discovery, potential failure ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶b̶e̶t̶r̶a̶y̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶k̶i̶n̶d̶n̶e̶s̶s̶.̶

Option number two is you don’t say anything, and let the rest of the survey team die. You may not increase the risk of getting caught, but you’ll have to live with the fact that you could have prevented the death of the rest of your (still good) clients.

It wasn’t even really a choice. I didn’t like it, but that didn’t change the fact that there was really only one option.

I’d have to actually do my job as security and stop him…

…by whatever means necessary.

Watching him ‘sneak’ back to the Hab and act like nothing was wrong made me feel an emotion. A bad one.

I’d made it back before him, but still kept a few of my drones on him. Now, I was just standing in the security ready room, staring at a wall.

For some reason, the reality of the situation just didn’t seem to want to click. I felt almost… betrayed, in a way. I shouldn’t have felt betrayed, it was stupid to feel betrayed.

I didn’t know him, not really. But maybe, I’d just hoped he’d ̶b̶e̶ ̶d̶i̶f̶f̶e̶r̶e̶n̶t̶ continue to not be an issue.

Whatever he was being paid, I hoped it was worth it.

I watched as Dr. Ratthi met Gurathin in the Hab entrance over the security cameras.

“Where were you? None of us could find you, and you didn’t respond to any of our messages.” I’m not the best judge when it comes to emotions, Dr. Ratthi appeared to be genuinely worried.

Gurathin had the audacity to look a little ashamed.

“Sorry, I just went on a walk. Needed to clear my head.”

I’m so fucking sure you needed to clear your head, traitor.

They went back and forth a bit, and then they parted ways. Dr. Ratthi stood there a bit longer, alone now.

I should tell him. I should go and tell him that Gurathin was a traitor, that he was dangerous, that he was going to try and kill them.

I didn’t.

Instead, I went back into the Hab’s systems, and soon enough, I found something. Said something was spyware.

Now, you may be thinking: ‘Oh, Murderbot, it’s the Corporation Rim, and even more specifically the Company, of course there’s going to be spyware.’

To that, I would say that you’re half right. (except I wouldn’t actually say that, I’d rather not have to interact with you if given the chance.) Yes, obviously there’s going to be spyware for the Company in the Hab’s systems. What there shouldn’t be is unidentified spyware from a corporation I don’t recognize.

(And I know a lot of corporations. Much more than I’d like to, honestly.)

No, this was completely unidentified spyware that I could see was sending information somewhere else. No matter what code I tried throwing at it, I couldn’t figure out where it was being sent.

Of course, I basically already knew where it was getting sent. I had my second piece of serious evidence. All I needed to do now was wait for him to get sloppy and then expose him to the others.

That was going to be the tricky part. The evidence was damning to me, but humans were irrational, especially about other humans that they were close with. I needed to be able to prove without a shadow of a doubt that this was Gurathin’s doing.

I wouldn’t, no, couldn’t let him kill them.

I couldn't be responsible for my clients’ deaths a second time. I couldn’t do that again. This time was going to be different.

This time had to be different.

Chapter Text

I was exhausted, demotivated, and just overall not having a great time.

The beacon was fucked. Since the beacon was fucked, that essentially meant that we were fucked.

GreyCris went to DeltFall first in my timeline, which pretty much guaranteed that their beacon was also fucked. That left only one functional beacon, that being GreyCris’s. That meant that our only two chances of escape were either to wait until the scheduled pickup by the company, which I didn't doubt that GreyCris would try and sabotage, or try and use their beacon again, which poses a major safety risk.

Oh deity, I was starting to sound like SecUnit.

Well, to be fair, using their beacon had been a last-ditch effort in the main timeline, and it had nearly ended in SecUnit and Dr. Mensah dying. That wasn’t a situation I particularly wanted to repeat. I also think that SecUnit (at least from the main timeline) would agree with my hesitance. Unfortunately, it would also recognize that it was really the only option left.

Honestly, just fuck my life.

What was worse, I’d now have to rejoin the rest of the group in actually doing my job as a survey member. I knew, realistically, if I asked for more time off that they’d let me, but I couldn’t make myself do that. Besides, it might make them worried.

Well, more worried than they likely were.

Anyway, even though I was going back to work, I still kinda expected them to go easy on me, which is why I was pretty damn surprised when I woke up to the sounds of people running around and crates being loaded.

I pulled myself out of bed, but refused to make any contact with fellow beings until I had at least some caffeine in my system.

“It’s so early, where are you going,” I mumbled, nursing my coffee.

“Didn’t you remember?” Ratthi asked as he placed more equipment into a crate. I saw SecUnit in the distance loading the boxes that were already full. “We’re going to go get some samples from the crater fields.”

“Aren’t we supposed to do this, like, three days from now?”

He gave me a look.

“No? We planned this a few weeks ago, it’s supposed to be today.”

How does one tell their best friend that, no, I don’t remember talking about this a few weeks ago because I as you know me was not here a few weeks ago?

Yeah, I don’t know either

“Are you su-” Oh shit. I remembered. We’d rescheduled that one to later because Ratthi had gotten himself injured while taking measurements with me. That would have been on the same day that I ‘arrived’ here, and because we had to leave the site early, he never got injured and the trip didn’t have to be rescheduled. I did my best to squash down my panic.“Oh, yeah, that. Must’ve just slipped my mind.”

Ratthi gave me a sympathetic look.

“It’s been a rough week for you, hasn’t it? First having to go back into corporate space for longer than any of us would have liked, then hitting your head within the first few days of the survey.” He looked around and leaned in closer to me, his voice became low and the sympathy became tinged with concern. “You can sit this one out if you need to. No-one would be angry.”

“No, no, I can go. It just slipped my mind.” I did my best to reassure him.

He didn’t seem fully convinced, but didn’t argue with me further. He turned and walked back to the stack of boxes he was moving.

Well, just my fucking luck. We all split up on the crater survey in the main timeline, which was going to make this a whole lot worse. I couldn’t exactly follow all of them, nor could SecUnit. Besides, SecUnit didn’t actually know about the giant worm creatures that lived under the land we were about to survey.

How was I supposed to warn them about that? I knew next to nothing about biology, ecology, anything living, really, so what was I supposed to tell the group to dissuade them from going to the craters? ‘Hey, yeah, sorry, we can’t survey this massive piece of land that has no warnings in the packet and has shown no signs of danger, but you just have to trust me because of the vibes’.

That would go over great.

I couldn’t say that it was because I was still injured (well, I could, but see earlier comment on this subject) because this wasn’t supposed to be strenuous work.

There just wasn’t-

Wait.

Wait a moment.

There WAS.

I glanced around, picked up the closest box, and made my way to the opposite side of the hopper.

I may not be able to convince them through biology or ecology, but I could convince them through technology.

I went into the cockpit and gave myself access to the hopper’s feed. I glanced behind me to make sure that nobody was watching, before accessing the hopper’s code and adding my own.

The code I was adding was fairly simple. It was actually based off of one that I’d seen SecUnit use on several occasions. All it was supposed to do was to tangle everything up. No harm, no lasting damage, just time-consuming to undo, even for a construct.

If I was lucky, this would give me an extra day to find an actual reason as to why we couldn’t go.

(I wasn’t particularly pleased that getting away with literal crimes was something that I was considering ’good’ right now, but hey, I didn’t ask to time travel. I didn’t ask to be put in situations where crime was the morally correct option.)

If I was unlucky, then I’d get caught and, I don’t know, held as a prisoner by my own friends until they went off to get themselves killed.

I really, REALLY hope that life would let me be lucky just this once.

As I predicted, we didn’t end up going to the crater fields.

Pin-Lee was pissed, yelling about ‘stupid fucking corporate pieces of flaming corporate shit’. The others were trying not to act disappointed or annoyed, but it was clear that they were. Only one person didn’t have the expected reaction.

SecUnit.

It was staring at me, or, well, several of its drones were. It was looking just next to where I was, standing just outside the hopper.

I don’t know why, but it made me nervous. Not the fact that it was looking at me, no, I’d gotten used to being watched by a drone at pretty much any given time. I think it was the fact that I didn’t know why it was watching ME. It wasn’t doing this to any of the others, it was just me.

Naturally, this led to a worrying conclusion:

It had seen me in the hopper earlier. Not only had it seen me, but it must have also seen what I’d done.

I was under no illusions as to what my actions would look like to an outsider, especially an outsider as paranoid as SecUnit was at this point of time.

If I was right about this, then I probably just made any possibilities of SecUnit trusting me go to zero. It wasn’t like it liked me in the main timeline, but at least it wouldn’t do anything to me for the sake of the rest of the team. If it thought that I posed a threat to that team…

Well, I didn’t want to know what it would do.

If I was wrong (which I was really hoping I was, and there was a good chance that I was) about this, then I needed to make sure that SecUnit did not, under any circumstances, see me as a threat. SecUnit was a powerful ally, but an even more powerful enemy.

If I also didn’t want it to hate me for personal reasons, that was my own business.

“Gurathin, how long do you think this will take?” Pin-Lee’s voice broke me out of my thoughts.

“What?” I fumbled.

“I asked how long you think that repairing this will take.” She was tapping her foot impatiently.

“Uhhh, I’d need to look at it closer, but a day at least.”

She then proceeded to utter a list of swear words that, for the sake of my sanity and any possible hopes of going to a better place when I die, I will not repeat here. She then turned heel and stormed back into the Hab.

“Pin-Lee,” Bharadwaj called and ran after her.

“So…are we all leaving or…?”

“Ratthi!” scolded Overse.

He raised his hands in surrender.

“I’m just asking!”

Arada rolled her eyes.

“No point in staying out here if we aren’t going to do anything,” she said, and walked towards the Hab.

Ratthi and Overse followed close behind.

Now it was just me, Mensah, Volescu, and SecUnit in the distance.

“I’m ….going to go,” Volescu said after a pause, gesturing at the Hab and briskly walking away.

Mensah sighed and looked at me.

“Pin-Lee isn’t mad at you,” she assured.

It was stupid, but I felt guilty. There was no reason for me to feel guilty, I was saving the lives and wellbeing of the people I cared about by screwing with the hopper. I also knew that Pin-Lee was mad at the situation, not me in particular. Why would she be? It wasn’t like she knew that I had any involvement in what was going on.

If she did, then it would be extremely obvious to everybody in a three mile radius.

“Oh, yeah,” I responded after realizing that she was waiting for a response. My voice hitched slightly. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and looked away.

She didn’t believe me. I didn’t blame her, I wouldn’t believe a thing that had just come out of my mouth.

I didn’t know why I was reacting like this. I’m not usually this bad of a liar. If you live in the Rim for any period of time, you have to be.

Mensah stood there a bit longer, as if hoping or expecting me to say something more. When I didn’t, and instead just fidgeted silently under her gaze, she sighed again.

“Please notify us when you have a better estimate of when the hopper will be fixed.” She then did as all the others had done and turned to go back to the Hab.

“Will do,” I called after her.

It was now just me and SecUnit, and I could practically feel its drones breathing down my neck as I went back in the hopper and pretended like I was trying to fix what I’d done.

I’d find a way out of this. I just needed more time.

Chapter Text

As it turns out, the code I’d make was very good at its job.

As in, it was TOO good at its job.

Instead of spending the extra time that I’d made by messing with the hopper on coming up with an actual fucking plan, I intstead had to use it fighting against my own damn code so that it wouldn’t permanently mess up the hopper’s systems.

I had been doing this for, and I kid you not, six straight hours.

Honestly, I think I’ve started to believe that there is some higher power out there, because it is so statistically improbable that things would continue to go this wrong for me.

Yet again: Screw you, Universe.

I huffed and tried yet another string of code.

As my luck would have it, this also failed.

I hit my head against the dash of the hopper, groaning. Y’know what? Fuck this, I’m taking a break.

I stood up, taking a moment to appreciate how little strain that action put on my body compared to what I had gotten used to, and went to leave the hopper.

The sun had gone down in the time since I’d been left to work on the hopper. There was a light breeze that left my skin with a slight chill. No-one else was out, even SecUnit having retreated into the Hab after it had gotten dark. It was so quiet out here.

It was… nice. Ever since I’d arrived here, hell, ever since before I’d planned what was supposed to be my last survey, I'd been practically up to here with things that had to be done. There was always something to plan, someone to talk to, some deadline coming up. If I really thought about it, protecting the lives of my friends isn’t even a new job. I mean, what is a survey leader (or second in command, in some cases) but a job completely focused on making sure that everyone under you doesn’t die because of your own actions and decisions.

But now, at this very moment, I didn’t have to do that. I’d have to go back to planning and working and whatnot, but for this moment, this singular moment, I was just here, just me, Gurathin. Not Gurathin, survey leader. Not Gurathin, time traveler here to save his friends. Just Gurathin, the person.

As I went into the Hab to continue attempting to come up with a plan, there was a small smile on my face.

I don’t know how long I spent working, but the next thing I knew the planet’s sun had started to rise and was currently burning my retinas to a crisp. Any sane person would have done the simple task of, you know, getting up and walking the four feet required to close the blinds, but deitydamnit, I wasn’t going to move until I was able to get down a full list of the events that were about to happen and ways that I could prevent them.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, I don’t know), by the time I finished the sun was no longer at an annoying position relative to me. I sighed, leaning back in my bed. I was going to make the executive decision to finally sleep…

…and no less than three seconds after making that executive decision, Ratthi burst into my room. I jumped, but thankfully stopped myself from doing anything more embarrassing, like shrieking louder and higher than a six year old girl. ( The time I’d done that in front of SecUnit in my own universe came to mind, and I cringed at the memory.)

“Good morning, Gurathin!” Ratthi chirped, looking like he was runway ready at (I checked my timekeeping system) 7:03 in the morning. A stark contrast from my disheveled appearance (I hadn’t bothered to change out of the clothes I’d worn yesterday) and eyebags to rival a raccoon.

I fucking hated morning people.

“Morning Ratthi.”

“Do you think that we’ll be able to go to the site today?” He was bouncing on his toes, seemingly full of unused energy.

If I were to answer honestly, I would have said ‘fuck no. If you go, then massive worm creatures will come and kill you, and if those don’t kill you, the psychotic GreyCris ‘survey team’ will.’

“Yeah, maybe,” is what I answered instead.

“SEE?” Ratthi leaned out of my doorway and called down the hall. I winced at the volume.

“GURATHIN AGREES WITH ME!”

“TELL GURATHIN THAT HE’S WRONG!” I heard Pin-Lee respond with. “I LOOKED AT THE CODE MYSELF, THAT HOPPER IS FUCKED SIX WAYS TO SUNDAY!”

“TELL HIM YOURSELF!”

“FUCK YOU!”

“STOP YELLING AT EACH OTHER!” yelled Bharadwaj from down the hallway.

I heard Arada start laughing.

“YEAH RATTHI!” yelled Arada between violent giggles. “STOP YELLING!”

“What are we yelling about?” I faintly heard Overse ask Arada.

“EVERYONE,” Mensah’s voice boomed. Not yelling, but definitely said with the intent of projecting her voice. “A message has just come in from DeltFall. It’s not good.”

Everyone went silent.

My heart sank as I looked at the message that Mensah had projected on the main display surface.

“We need..assista…. hostiles… unknown… message.. few days ago…….. trap….. help….. four dea…..cUnits…..n’t respond….. send hel……………………..{ERROR: VIDEO DISCONNECTED}.” The sound of static made the words almost unrecognizable. If it weren’t for the automatic audio transcripts, poor and lacking as they were, I doubt we’d be able to pick up on anything that had been said.

SecUnit was standing in a corner, also watching the video. Its feed presence was completely neutral.
It was in armor, so I couldn’t read its face and get a sense of what it was actually feeling.

My heart sank. This…..wasn’t supposed to happen for at least another week. GreyCris wasn’t supposed to be at DeltFall yet. There was nothing but this video and the repeating mantra in my head of ‘not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet-‘

“We have to go,” Ratthi said, turning to look at Mensah.

“What if it’s too late?” Demanded Pin-Lee. “It will take us several hours to get to the Deltfall Hab, and if it’s as bad as the video leads us to believe, they’ll all be dead.”

“So you’ll just let them all die?” Bharadwaj accused.

Pin-Lee’s nostrils flared and she straightened to her full height. She strode towards Bharadwaj.

“I don’t WANT to let them all die, but it’s a lost cause. That time is much better spent trying to protect our Hab from danger while we still have a chance.”

“Even if I am not here as a doctor, it is my job to save lives, no matter how low the chances may be.” Bharadwaj met Pin-Lee’s eyes with a look filled with fire.

“And as someone who is here as a lawyer, it is my job to make sure that my clients, my FRIENDS, don’t do something stupid.” She matched Bharadwaj’s fiery look.

I glanced over at SecUnit to see if it would react to this. It did not. Something in me ached for it to react. To do something, to say something, but it didn’t. After all, what reason did it have to break its act as a governed unit?

Mensah stepped in between them.

“Enough, we’ll put it to a vote. That’s how we’ve always made these kinds of decisions, and that’s how we’re going to do it now. All in favor of not responding to the DeltFall distress com?”

Pin-Lee, Arada, and Volescu raised their hands.

Mensah nodded at them in acknowledgement.

“All in favor of responding to the DeltFall distress com?”

Ratthi, Bharadwaj and Overse raised their hands.

It was a tie, and with Mensah not voting as the neutral decision maker and SecUnit not being seen by the group as a person yet, I was the only one left to be the tie breaker.

I knew what was going to happen, but that didn’t mean I responded any better when it did.

“Gurathin, what is your vote?” Mensah’s voice was not unkind, but firm. Abstaining would not be an acceptable response.

Everyone turned to me, looking at me with expectation in their eyes and faces. Some looked a bit impatient, even though they were trying to hide it. Bharadwaj was drumming her fingers against her arms, Ratthi was tapping the side of his thighs in a pattern I couldn’t discern, and Pin-Lee was picking at her (already very short) nails.

I needed to say something, I needed to say something fast. I didn’t know what to say. I was using all of my energy not to look at SecUnit. To not silently plead to it to PLEASE make the decision for me. To selfishly ask it to break its cover for my sake. I couldn’t make a decision. I hated being put on the spot like this. Everyone’s eyes were drilling into me. Everyone was looking, looking, looking. What if I made the wrong choice? What if someone got hurt? What if we could save people? What if-

“Go.” My voice sounded unnatural, I almost didn’t recognize it. “We’ll go to DeltFall.” My mouth felt like a carcass that had been dried out in the desert sun. The words felt like sandpaper being dragged from my lungs to my trachea to my voice box, my throat, and past my lips.

Many let out breaths that they’d unconsciously been holding in anticipation of an answer. Pin-Lee huffed, but said nothing.

SecUnit did not react. I don’t know why I expected it to.

Mensah bows her head at me in acknowledgment and clapped her hands together.

“Then it is decided. We will be responding to the DeltFall distress call.” She turned to Overse. “Can you get the auxiliary hopper ready?”

Overse nodded once and ran out of the room.

Mensah proceeded to direct everyone else to get preparations. I wasn’t paying attention to what she was saying, as something else was occupying it at the moment.

SecUnit had turned its helmeted head and was looking at me. Not over me, not to the side of me, not in my vague direction, at ME.

If it wanted to look at me, it could have used the cameras, its drones, turned its head with no change to the helmet, or just glanced out of the corner of its eye.

No, it was looking at me, and it wanted me to know it.

Chapter Text

I regretted my decision almost immediately after making it.

Gurathin, you stupid idiot, why the HELL would you choose going to DeltFall? As much as I wanted to be able to save them in this timeline, the risk was just too high. If someone on my team got hurt-

No. I didn’t want to think about it. I was not going to think about it.

We were getting the auxiliary hopper ready, and with every passing moment my anxiety was building. I couldn’t change my mind now, I couldn’t be a coward, I couldn’t go back to that corporate callousness of abandoning people at the first sign of trouble.

I couldn’t, but I really wanted to.

SecUnit was moving stuff alongside us, and I couldn’t help but feel like it was constantly watching. Which is stupid, because I should be used to it watching me near constantly. It did the same the last time I was on this survey, and it had continued to do so for the rest of that I’d known it. It had been reassuring then (maybe not on the first survey, but you get my point), why was it stressing me out now? It wasn’t even like it was watching me with its eyes anymore, which, yeah, that had been weird, but I had to remind myself that it wasn’t used to seeing how people from Preservation worked. It was probably just confused and forgot to be subtle.

Yeah, that had to be it.

Mensah clapped her hands together to get everyone’s attention.

“Alright, everyone. I’ve been talking with some of you, and agree that it would be best to have a few people stay here to hold down the fort-“

I wanted to volunteer to stay behind. It was cowardly, and it would leave the group going to DeltFall worse off. I may not have gone to DeltFall in the original timeline, but I had seen Mensah and SecUnit’s cam footage. I knew what happened. I couldn’t let them go into this when they’re still in the dark.

Mensah continued.

“- and so Volescu, Arada, Ratthi and Bharadwaj will be staying here.”

Wait a moment… Ratthi was staying? In the original timeline, he’d gone to DeltFall too.

This thought didn’t leave my head, even when the rest of the departing team and I took off in the hopper.

I also recognized that we’d skipped several parts of the original timeline, like the aftermath of the worm incident, the issues with the survey packet and the faulty maps. Originally, SecUnit was the one that came up with this plan, the one who had confirmed the issues with the packet, the one who’d been hell-bent on making sure that everyone was safe.

By skipping all this stuff, had we lost SecUnit’s care?

The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. SecUnit saving Bharadwaj had made the team (minus me and probably Pin-Lee) trust it. Mensah and the others had then started to treat it like a person, despite its own prickliness towards the idea. Helping with the messed up survey packets and everything at DeltFall had been the final nail in the coffin for any doubts surrounding SecUnit. I had been the only one who still had reservations.

I had been the only one with reservations, and the only one it didn’t like.

Had I accidentally doomed the others to the same fate? Would it have been better to do nothing?

The now all-too familiar feeling of panic welled up inside of me again.

I couldn’t do that to the others, I had to try and fix this somehow. It was going to get itself hurt, we were going to find out that it was the rogue, and I’d likely be the only one in its corner when the rest of the group found out. They wouldn’t believe a thing it said, and there was no evidence that it was willing to save them to use as evidence to trust it.

I’d fucked up. I’d fucked up an immeasurable amount.

I didn’t think I could fix this.

All too soon, the hopper was landing, at SecUnit’s insistence, outside of the DeltFall perimeter.

“Alright, so we need a plan of how we are going to enter,” Mensah told the group.

“Protocol suggests that it is safest for a SecUnit to enter a potentially dangerous area first, while a singular client accompanies it to prevent the distance limit from being reached and the unit being terminated.” I couldn’t read anything from SecUnit’s voice.

Everyone else looked a bit uncomfortable at the mention of termination.

“Uhh, how far would that limit be?” tentatively asked Overse.

“One kilometer.”

Everyone now looked very uncomfortable.

“Even if you’re given instructions?” Mensah added, confused.

“Even if I am given instructions.”

Silence fell over the group, all but Pin-Lee looking horrified. I had to remind myself that they were not yet used to the cruelty that the Corporation Rim was capable of, at least not first hand. There is a difference between learning about it from school or news, and talking to someone who’d experienced it first hand. Even then, many didn’t want to hear about it first hand. It took the whole situation with GreyCris and SecUnit for many members of the group to even ask me about my experience in the Corporation Rim.

Not that I told them much, but it’s the thought that counts.

Pin-Lee was the first to recover enough to break the silence.

“So who do you recommend goes with you?” Her voice didn’t exactly hold malice, but it was clear that she was frustrated, or at least annoyed.

SecUnit hesitated for a second.

“I believe that Dr. Gurathin would be best for this particular situation.”

Wait, what?

For the second time today, all eyes turned towards me…

…including SecUnit’s.

“I…uh,” I floundered, “alright. Okay. Yes, I can, um, do that.”

Pin-Lee looked at SecUnit skeptically.

“Are you sure that he’s the best fit?”

“Yes. Because he is augmented, he can pick up and react to danger faster than your average human, giving him the best odds out of the group.”

That was only barely true. My augments gave me a slight reaction advantage, but it wasn’t enough to make me the best option. I wasn’t even a good fighter.

But I guess SecUnit would be the one dealing with the fighting.

Pin-Lee leaned back in her seat, not looking completely satisfied, but not arguing further.

“Just make sure that you stay within comm range,” Overse added, wringing her hands.

I nodded, and SecUnit sent a confirmation over the feed.

And with that, we were both climbing out of the hopper and starting off towards DeltFall.

Everything was eerily silent, just like in the original footage I’d watched what felt like a million years ago. I can as we approached their habs, there were no signs of movement. We crept closer, and I had to scramble to keep up with SecUnit.

When we entered through the main door of their hab, it felt like a chill had engulfed my entire body.

I shivered involuntarily. SecUnit had no reaction, and without even pausing, it continued further into the hab.

We continued in almost dead silence, the only sounds being our footfalls and my breathing. They both sounded infinitely louder than normal, and I couldn’t tell if that was nerves or an actual reflection of reality.

I peeked around a corner looking for any signs of life. Many of the lights were broken, the ones that weren’t completely out were flickering. It was like being on the set of a horror movie. It was like being IN a horror movie.

When I turned back to where SecUnit had been moments prior, it was gone. I looked around wildly, trying to see if it maybe just went down one of the hallways.

It all happened so fast.

One moment, I was walking, the next there was a hand on my throat and my back was to the wall.

I gasped, the noise coming out choked. I desperately clawed against the hand at my throat, only to be met with metal. Even then, it took me a moment to register who my assailant was.

SecUnit.

I could have laughed, would have laughed. What were my fucking odds of somehow getting SecUnit to pin me to a wall twice? Damn, I thought I’d be able to get through this one without being shoved up against a wall, but it seems that it just wasn’t meant to be. Was this just something that was destined to happen to me, no matter what?

Notice though, how I said ‘would’. I would have laughed if this was my timeline’s version of SecUnit, and if it didn’t look absolutely furious.

That’s not to say that it didn’t look pissed the first time that it pinned me, because it absolutely fucking did. No, that’s to say that SecUnit at that point had been angry in a ‘if you had gotten left behind at DeltFall, I wouldn’t have minded’ way.

No, I’d only seen this look a few times before.

It was looking at me the same way it looked at targets, the same way it looked at threatening hostiles.

SecUnit was angry in an ‘they will never find your body’ way.

I stopped struggling, hoping that this would signal to it that I wasn’t a risk.

“I don’t mean you any harm,” I managed to say.

“Liar.” It snarled.

“I’m not lying, I promise!” I pleaded.

“I’m not going to let you kill them,” it said, tightening its hold around my neck.

“Kill…who?” I rasped, trying but eventually failing to prevent myself from grabbing at its hands in a pointless attempt to get them off my neck.

“You fucking know who. Who’s paying you? A rival? A corporation? Or are you just a sick bastard?”

I felt like my head was going to burst. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was bright red.

“None, ……I….swear.”

“Give me one reason why I should believe you.” In one, fluid motion, it went from pinning me by the neck to flipping me around, pinning my hands against my back with one hand, and one hand on my head in the perfect position to snap my neck like a twig. “Talk.”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” I answered truthfully.

“One chance.”

“I’m from a different universe,” I blurted out desperately.

Its eyebrows raised and its grip on my head tightened, but the floodgates were open and I couldn’t stop talking.

“Where I’m from, it’s twenty years in the future, and we’ve already gone through all of this. A third survey group called GreyCris bribed the Company to keep their existence a secret. They’re here to illegally extract alien remnants, and they think that we and DeltFall stand in the way of them doing that. That’s why they removed sections in the survey packet about potential dangers, like the massive carnivorous worms that live in the area that we’re about to survey, and why they tried to get you to download that override. Where I’m from, they successfully killed all of DeltFall, but you saved us.”

“How can you possibly expect me to believe-“

“I know you're a rogue. All of us did. In my timeline, you live with us at Preservation station, you have the same rights as anyone else there. Occasionally have paid contracts with the Pansystem University of Mihira and New Tideland. You have a friend there.”

It didn’t respond. The silence stretched onto a minute, two minutes, five, ten. We just stood there, it still pinning me to the wall, and me still being pinned.

“I don't understand,” it said finally.

“Join the club,” I mumbled.

“How do you know I’m rogue if I supposedly saved all of you? Why would I tell you?”

Oh shit, I hadn’t anticipated asking this. This was going to be difficult. It looked at me expectantly. (Or, well, I think it did. I couldn’t see through its helmet.). I took a deep breath, and exhaled in an attempt to calm my pounding heart and the nerves that were all in overdrive.

“You didn’t tell us. We’d just gotten back from DeltFall, and one of their units had put a combat override in you. You told us to shoot you, and then shot yourself when we wouldn’t.”

“Stupid fucking idiotic clients,” it huffed under its breath.

I felt a small smile come onto my face. That sounded a lot more like the SecUnit I knew.

“Anyway,” I pressed on, my voice getting a bit shakier. “When we were back at the Hab, we put you through the MedSys and had Pin-Lee remove the combat override module. I was…suspicious, to say the least. I had experience with SecUnits before, and you’d done something’s that I thought were just a bit off. So while you were offline, I checked your systems for any anomalies and…”. I should stop now. It likely got the idea and probably already didn’t like me. The more I said, the more it would hate me and the less trust it would have in me. Despite this, I felt like I couldn’t stop. “I found your files detailing, well, everything. About Ganaka, about becoming rogue, about your name, everything. And I-“ my voice cracked. I cleared my throat and tried again. “I told everyone. I showed another member for his opinion, and once you came back online, I told everyone. I thought you were dangerous, that you were going to be dangerous, and so I-“

“What is my name?” It turned its faceplate transparent. Its eyes were an unnatural red, just one more level of branding that the Company had forced onto it.

It was now looking at me dead in the eyes, ACTUALLY looking at me. That in of itself was scary. Adding on the tone that it had asked the question in, it was terrifying. Somehow, it pinning me against the wall felt less dangerous than this. It felt less like a question and more like a demand, a test. It was the final few seconds before the verdict of my case was announced and the gavel came down and sentenced me to my fate. It was a game show where the wrong answer lost me my life instead of currency. It was a tightrope and one misstep was my death, and the death of those I loved.

Brown and blue eyes met scarlet.

“Murderbot, your name is Murderbot.”

Nothing for one second, two seconds, three-

It released its grip on me, and I slumped to the ground. I rubbed at my neck, still sore from its grasp. There would undoubtedly be bruises. I looked back up at SecUnit.

It had opaqued its faceplate and had turned away from me.

“Don’t tell anyone else anything about this or about what you know.”

“What? Why?” I stared at it in confusion. I’d expected it to be all for telling everybody as soon as possible.

“If you are actually serious about this, then the last thing we need is a mass panic. Don’t tell anyone anything, just tell me what I need to know about DeltFall, then just go to your room once we get back to the Hab and send me everything you know. I’ll make up a reason why we can't leave the Hab, but I don’t know how long that will work for, if it even works in the first place.”

I’d missed this, missed someone who knew what they were doing being in charge.

“Okay, yeah, I can do that.”

It looked at the wall opposite me.

“For the record, this doesn’t mean I trust you, or even really believe you. If this turns out to be a setup, and you make me put the few decent clients I’ve had in danger, I’ll kill you.”

I nodded, and it started walking.

I scrambled onto my feet and followed it.

Chapter Text

Of all the ways I had anticipated this going, ‘I’m from the future and trying to save all of you’ wasn't even in the top hundred thousand of reasons. It wasn’t even on the fucking list.

I felt conflicted yet again. I’d gone from being neutral toward him (maybe even being neutral leaning towards positive), to hating him, to… wherever the hell we are now.

One thing was for sure though, and that was that I severely regretted bringing him. He may be quiet, he may be following all of the instructions I’d been giving to him to a T, but he was still an augmented human, and that meant that he was needlessly being put in danger.

I had needlessly put him in danger.

That was the most difficult thing. Not the fact that I was wrong, not the fact that I’d missed things, but the fact that I had been fully prepared to kill an innocent client because of those things.

No, I’m not thinking about that right now. I can’t think about that right now. A client is in a very dangerous area, and I need to make sure that he remains unharmed. It was so, so tempting to just go back to the hopper and say that everyone was dead and that there was nothing that we could do about it, but that was stupid, a coward’s decision.

There were still SecUnits here. SecUnits who supposedly had combat overrides and were now working for this mysterious third survey team (GreyCris, he’d called it). The fewer SecUnits that GreyCris had access to, the better.

How many SecUnits are there here? I asked him though the feed.

He responded after a second and a half, quite fast even for an augmented human.

Three belonged to DeltFall, but one was already dead by the time we got there. I don’t know how many extras GreyCris brought, if any.

It wasn’t as much information as I would have liked but it was good enough for now. I could deal with two SecUnits. It wouldn’t be pretty, but that was what the cubicle was for. If there were more than two…

…well then things were going to end up being a bit more difficult than expected.

Who was I kidding, this whole survey had ended up more difficult than expected. Between weird clients, the faulty (even more so than usual) equipment, the other survey team all dying, and a FUCKING (maybe) TIME TRAVELER, at this point, anything could happen and I wouldn’t be surprised. What even was my fucking life (or lack thereof) anymore? Murderbots don’t fucking deal with time travelers!

I was starting to recognize that I really, REALLY, don’t like living in a serial. I don’t want my life to be a serial, because that means that stuff happens and I don’t want stuff to keep fucking happening. I’ve had enough of stuff happening for a fucking lifetime.

This thought was reinforced when I was startled from my thoughts by having to pull an (also) distracted Gurathin out of the way of oncoming fire.

He made a surprised noise as I yanked him back behind the corner he had just turned and behind me.

I found the closest of my drones to see our assailant.

It was a SecUnit with what I’m guessing is a DeltFall logo on its chest plate. (Don’t judge me, how was I supposed to know that it was going to be important for me to recognize the logo of a survey group that was practically on the other side of the planet from the survey I was assigned to?)

I looked around for a weapon that I could give Gurathin. Generally, I think that giving humans access to any kind of weapon is an extremely stupid decision, only rivaled by giving humans control over constructs, which are just smarter weapons. Unfortunately, this was a scenario where an unarmed human was more dangerous than an armed human.

The circumstances were truly dire.

Upon finding no convenient weapons on the ground (if my life was going to be a serial, I might as well have some of the perks, UNIVERSE), I took the energy weapon that I had been storing on my back and practically shoved it at him.

He grabbed it before it fell to the floor, and then looked at me, terrified.

“What-“ he started to say, but by then I’d already turned the corner and started shooting back with my own inbuilt energy weapons.

My first shot missed, but the second hit it in the shoulder, slowing it by .5 seconds. I used this extra time to rapidly flick through all available camera and drone inputs to try and find any other SecUnits.

True to Gurathin’s word, there was an indisposed SecUnit with the DeltFall logo, and an operational SecUnit with the DeltFall logo. Unfortunately for us though, that wasn’t all, as there were two more operational SecUnits with a third logo, one that didn’t belong to PresAux or DeltFall. One that I don’t think I would have recognized even if I’d kept all of the information given to me about the other survey group on this planet.

Well, fuck.

There are four total active SecUnits. I hurriedly sent Gurathin through the feed. The first is around this corner, the second is about two minutes away down the same hallway as the first, and the other two are six minutes and there’s no way to tell which hallway they’ll come from. If you see anything, take cover. If it gets closer and I’m not already there, shoot it in the joints. I kept one drone trained on each of the incoming SecUnits, one on Gurathin, and one on standby.

What if it’s you and I can’t tell? He responded, still holding the gun like he’d never touched a weapon before in his life. (I wouldn’t doubt it, this freehold seemed weird.)

Shoot anyway. I knew that he was going to argue with me over this, but I didn’t have the time to respond.

The DeltFall unit in front of me (which I had designated as DeltFall1) recovered from the hit to its shoulder, responding with a few well aimed shots that hit my torso. Not enough to break the armor, but enough to dent the surface. Enough to hurt.

I turned my pain sensors down and hypothetically shook myself. You need to focus on the current threat right now, not on Gurathin. Giving Gurathin the majority of my attention right now would do more harm than good. (Just like the rest of your assumptions regarding him)

Alright Murderbot, think. You’re about to have two SecUnits under combat override in the same hallway, with two more likely on the way. I can’t fight off four SecUnits at once, so what can I do to get rid of these two before the other two get here.

Then it hit me. The distance limit. There was no possible way that these GreyCris people were stupid enough to actually go into the Hab when DeltFall was killed, and even less of a way that they would have stayed here when we showed up. That meant that if I could get those two to chase me, and got far enough away from their clients, it would automatically kill them, or at least shut them down. It would also delay the other two…

…but it also meant abandoning Gurathin, albeit temporarily. There was no way he could keep up with a SecUnit, even one that was only running at half speed. Humans just didn’t have the energy and stamina to run that fast for that long. He’d essentially be a sitting semi-aquatic avian fauna, even with an energy weapon.

I had to do it, though. This was the best chance that either of us were going to get. Risk assessment was putting the likelihood of success at fifty seven percent. It wasn’t great, but it was better than half, and the best odds that it’d given me. I sent him a flurry of short messages in rapid succession.

Change of plans.
Find a good place to hide.
Somewhere where you can easily defend yourself. Go there and stay.
I’ll be back.

I shut off our shared channel and started booking it down the hallway opposite of DeltFall1 just in time for DeltFall2 to show up.

I had one chance, I could not mess this up.

The plan seemed a lot simpler in my head than it was in practice. It occurred to me within the first fifteen seconds of running (an embarrassingly long time, I know, but in my defense I was currently under a lot of pressure) that because I didn’t know where their clients were, I had no idea if I was running in the right direction or not. For all I knew, I could be running straight towards them.

Both still shooting at me, DeltFall1 managed to be the first to hit an actually concerning shot, hitting the same spot on my shoulder that I’d hit them, but this time it broke off the shoulder plate as well.

The force of the hit caused me to stumble slightly, in which time the DeltFall units got closer to me.

DeltFall2 got the next lucky shot, this time in the join of my left knee.

I managed to stay upright this time, but it slowed me considerably.

I turned a corner, but it didn’t slow them. They were still right behind me, getting closer.

A shot to the right knee. Performance reliability at seventy three percent.

And closer.

Another hit to the shoulder. I felt the warmth of blood start to soak into my skinsuit.

And closer.

A shot to the lower spine. I crash to the ground. I turn around as fast as I can. I shoot blindly. Performance reliability at sixty seven percent.

And-

Both of them collapsed.

I froze for a full second just looking at them. They were completely unmoving. I glanced around, and using a move that I’d seen before in several films and at least two serials, I slid myself closer and nudged DeltFall2 with my foot.

Upon removing it, DeltFall2 flopped back down and resumed the position it had taken when it had first fallen.

I waited a further three seconds.

Nothing happened.

The plan had worked. Holy shit, the plan had worked!

I was so caught up in my surprise that I almost forgot about the other two SecUnits, about Gurathin.

The keyword being ‘almost’. I realized something and snapped back to reality nearly instantly.

I had just outed myself as rogue to GreyCris. If I was governed, I would have been fried just like DeltFall1 and 2, and GreyCris likely knew that. I also didn't know how big GreyCris was, and judging by Gurathin’s lack of knowledge about how many constructs they had, I’m guessing that he didn't either. If they have any semblance of sense, they’ll see a singular rogue SecUnit as being more dangerous than a governed SecUnit that’s with an entire survey group. They’d be calling in reinforcements, I don’t doubt it.

I could take two SecUnits at optimal condition, but more? and like this?

I checked my drones that had been following the other two SecUnits to find them… retreating? They were going away from me, and from what I knew of the layout of DeltFall’s Hab, they were going away from Gurathin too. I checked the drone I’d left with him, only to find him gone.

Oh fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

The GreyCris SecUnits were too far away now, past where I had left Gurathin.

There was no way that I could make it there in time, let alone win the fight when I got there.

Performance reliability at sixty percent.

I couldn’t just leave him though.

Performance reliability at fifty eight percent.

I told him that I’d be back.

Performance reliability at fifty five percent.

Performance reliability warnings are starting to crowd my vision.

Performance reliability at fifty three percent.

There was a blurry figure in front of me.

Performance reliability at fifty one percent.

“-cUnit? Can you hear me?”

Performance reliability at fifty percent.

Initiating emergency shutdown.

…

Chapter Text

I trusted SecUnit, generally, but I did not trust SecUnit to not be a self sacrificing idiot, even for people it didn’t particularly like. So when SecUnit told me to stay hidden, didn’t bother explaining what it was going to do, and proceeded to let the two DeltFall SecUnits shoot at it, I wasn’t going to listen.

By the time that I’d found SecUnt, it was unconscious and bleeding out. I’d thought about carrying it back to the hopper by myself, but just one attempt at picking it up made me determine that that wasn’t a viable method. Instead, I’d called in Mensah. I knew that she was smart, that she’d be able to defend herself, and that she would probably be the best option here for ‘who can help me pick up and move SecUnit’. (I wouldn’t even doubt it if she could pick it up by herself. The things that living on a farm can do to you…)

My guess was correct, as once she got here, she had picked up SecUnit with what seemed like little difficulty. I’d offered to help, but she had been very insistent on me not hurting myself, gesturing at me. I was covered in small scrapes, my wrists and neck deep shades of purple.

I hadn’t noticed that they’d started to bruise.

The hopper ride back was a blur. If anyone had tried to talk to me during it, I hadn’t noticed. I just watched SecUnit’s limp body, laid out on the seats across from me.

I’d seen it in worse condition, I had to remind myself. It would be fine.

‘It’s fine’ I told myself as I watched it be taken to the ready room, as I was taken to be checked by MedSys for the second time on this survey.

‘It’s fine,’ I told myself as I drifted off to sleep on the MedSys table.

My thoughts were confirmed when I woke up the next day to a security interdict that was set to last for eight hours. Something about current environmental hazards causing damage to company property, or something.

From the bits and pieces of conversation drifting in from the hallway and nearby rooms, added with what was being said on the team feed, the group wasn’t particularly happy about this. Pin-Lee in particular had a lot to say about ‘fucking corporate bastards and their shitty fucking equipment that can’t handle a bit of wear’.

Despite complaints though, everybody listened. I was glad for that. I was exhausted, in all senses of the word, and don’t think that I could have dealt with anything today. I bet SecUnit felt the same.

I realized that if there was any time that SecUnit was genuinely going to try to kill me, it would be now. I wasn’t its friend. I only barely had the benefit of being its client, it only really knew me as the really suspicious one that nearly got it killed.

I would seem like a much larger threat to it now than I had last time, especially without the others ready to defend it, so I doubted it would spare me for the same reason it had last time. In its mind, it could probably kill me now and prevent so much grief on its part. There would be no one to call it out for being rogue, no one to bring up its past and no one to tell its name. There would be no annoying augmented human to ruin its life.

In my old life, SecUnit and I had long made peace about that. It had been a slow and difficult process, and far linear. For every step forward, it felt like we took two steps back. But even then, one step forward and two back is still progress. It still moved us forward, and we got there in the end. There weren’t even steps to be taken here. I was much more of a hindrance than a help to it, DeltFall had proved that.

The only thing potentially keeping me around was my knowledge of what had happened here the last time around, and I sincerely doubted that much of that knowledge would no longer be relevant because of all the changes I’d caused. Hell, I don’t even know if it really believes me.

Almost as if it had read my thoughts, deliberated for a moment, and then decided that saying something so shocking that it would change the entirety of our dynamic (yet again), it pinged me and followed it up with a message.

I believe you.

I paused. It was as if my brain lost all ability to comprehend language. A few seconds later (a long time for it, might I add), another message furthered the spiral of confusion and disbelief that I was quickly descending into:

About the time travel thing. I believe you.

I don’t know how long I spent just staring at that message, but it was long enough that it sent another follow up.

Don’t make me regret that.

I sent an affirmative, all that I felt like I could really respond with in that moment, which it took as a sign to immediately start pressing me for more information.

I went through everything you sent me, and the evidence is pretty damning. If this really is as big of a threat as it seems to be, then the last thing we need is for one augmented human to be our only source of both information and defense. Your work, while decent for one human to do in a few days, wouldn’t be able to hold out a singular SecUnit, let alone an entire company with several units that wants to kill all of you.

A slight dig at me, but touché. It had, however, succeeded in snapping me back to reality. However much i’d like to think about how this was going to inevitably and irreversibly change our dynamic, about what this mean going forward, I didn’t have the time to do so. I had to focus on the task at hand, I didn’t have a choice. I exhaled deeply and focused on the newest of messages that I’d received. It had sent me back a copy of my message to DeltFall. The message that might have tipped off GreyCris that they knew more than they were supposed to. The message that might have been the reason that they’d been killed…

No, I wasn’t going to think about that. I could.’t think about that.

SecUnit: (Img.png) why would you use your actual initial? That can be easily traced back to you.

Quickly followed by:

SecUnit: This is just one of many reasons why humans shouldn’t do their own security.

The insults and jabs at both me and the human race at large were oddly refreshing. This was familiar territory in an increasingly unfamiliar world. I knew how to deal with this.

Me: (RE: That can be…) it was the first thing I could think of.
Me: (RE: This is why…) this is why I had you be the one to look through the systems.

I’m pretty sure I could hear the distant sound of SecUnit banging its head against a wall in exasperation.

SecUnit: (RE: (RE: This is why…) this is why…) {amusement sigil: middle finger}

Me: (RE: (RE: (RE: This is why…) this is why…) {amusement sigil: middle…}) {amusement sigil: middle finger}

SecUnit: Stop fucking around.

Hypocrite. It then sent me an absolutely massive data packet that nearly crashed my systems just to open.

SecUnit: Organize.

I waited for it to elaborate, only to be met with nothing.

Dick. Nonetheless, I opened it again (only a small portion this time) and got to organizing.

The packet it had sent me was composed of so many event trees that I feared for what it must be trying to process right now. Did it seriously do this for every problem it faced? Either that or it was essentially giving me busy work, which I wouldn’t put below it.

Nonetheless, I organized the data it had sent me based off of the criteria it had sent (the criteria it had sent almost an hour after sending me the data packet, mind you. By then, I’d already started to organize it by most to least likely (what I’d assumed would be the most logical choice in terms of organization) and had to redo the whole thing from scratch. No, I was not bitter.), which took pretty much the whole day. Despite having (objectively) done a lot, I couldn’t help but feel like we’d still gotten nothing done. It seemed like we were no closer to a solution than I’d been when I had first realized that I'd time traveled.

I felt hopeless, and I had started to feel SecUnit’s own frustrations start to bleed into the feed around two hours ago. Eventually, it sent me another message.

This isn’t working.

No shit, Sherlock. I then chastised myself. It was unfair of me to be frustrated with SecUnit for not finding the solution to something within under two days that I couldn’t figure out in around two weeks. I had to let go of the thought that SecUnit was magically going to solve any and all issues I had, no matter how true that might have seemed in my old timeline.

Yeah. I sent eventually.
It isn’t.

I’ve run as many possibilities as I can think of, and I’m not even sure if there is a better solution than what happened during your survey.
If we stay, they surround us, overpower me, and then kill all of you.
If we run, but don’t interfere and use their beacon, it is more likely that either GreyCris or the elements will kill at least some of you before the transport arrives.
As much as I hate to say it, what you had was the best outcome, and I’m not sure that we’ll be able to replicate it. Much of it relied on your team’s trust in me, a luxury that we currently do not have.

It was right. It was right and I hated that it was right.

Well then, what do you suggest?

It didn’t respond, which I took as it not having any plan, but desperately not wanting to admit it.

I sighed and looked back at the data that I’d finished organizing.

Surely SecUnit had to be wrong. Surely there had to be another solution. Surely MY TIMELINE wasn’t the best option.

Because if it was right, that meant that people were going to get hurt, maybe even killed, and it would be my fault. It would be my fault for interfering and unknowingly dragging them into a worse world with a darker future.

No, it had to be wrong.

I would prove it wrong.

Chapter Text

Maybe I’d spoken too soon.  The more I looked for a better solution, the more that I realized that it was right.  It was right, and there wasn’t anything I could do about it.

The fact that there was nothing that I could do was almost scarier than the events than GreyCris itself.

I pulled up our conversation over the feed, but found myself unable to admit defeat to it.

I was just about to close out of the feed entirely to (finally) rest for a bit when I noticed that I’d received a message.  I had expected it to be SecUnit.  A desperate part of me hoped that maybe it had found something new, or had found an alternative solution, however unlikely that was.  Either way, I opened it.

It wasn’t from SecUnit, it was from Pin-Lee.

Team meeting in hab commons.

Can you prevent the SecUnit from accessing video and audio?

That was… odd.  Especially considering that for a team meeting, Mensah would be the one to call it, and the message would have been sent on the team feed.  The thing about SecUnit was weird too.  Hypothetically, I could prevent SecUnit from accessing video and audio, but that would likely damage the tentative trust that we’d built.  That wasn’t something that I could risk right now.  Besides, what if she’d found something useful?  Something dangerous?  SecUnit had to know about it.  As much as I hated the idea, I’d have to betray Pin-Lee’s.

Yes.

Why?

I’ll tell you when you get here, but first deal with the SecUnit.

I closed the channel with Pin-Lee and opened the one with SecUnit.

Pin-Lee is having a meeting in the commons and wants me to cut your access.  I’m not going to do that, but if you could make sure the Company has no access to either of those and pretend that you know nothing about it, that would be great.

It responded almost the moment I’d sent my own message.

I know, I saw the message.

You are all absolutely awful at having secure conversations.

I’ve already blocked most of the footage here from the company.

I huffed fondly.  As weird as it would sound to anyone else, insults were the most reassuring thing to hear from SecUnit.  It meant that it cared.  If it didn’t care, it wouldn’t have bothered responding, let alone blocking stuff from the Company.  I’d assumed that in our timeline, it had started blocking our information after Mensah had talked to it in the cubicle.  Now I wondered if it had really been blocking the important stuff the whole time, or if it might have started blocking stuff because of… me.

As much as I’d like to think about that more, I had a meeting to attend.

When I entered the common area, everyone was silent, the few that were talking were only doing so in quiet whispers.  Pin-Lee turned from where she’d been having a hushed conversation with Mensah to face me.

“Are we in private?” She asked, pointedly glancing up at the security cameras.

“Yes, we’re in private” I lied, hoping that the faint tremor in my voice wasn’t noticeable to anyone.

“Good.” She clapped her hands together.  “We have a problem.”

“Obviously!” exclaimed Overse.  “The entirety of DeltFall is dead and we have no idea what caused it!”

“That’s the thing, we DO know.”

“Pin-Lee has a WORKING THEORY,” Mensah corrected sternly.  “We have no proof that it is true.”

“Proof?” Pin-Lee all but yelled.  “I went through its fucking logs when we retrieved it.  The message we got all but fucking confirms it!”

“Wait, what message?”  I was confused.  I didn’t understand what they were talking about.

Mensah sighed deeply.

“Earlier today we got a message from an unknown source.  They claimed to be Deltfall survivors.  They also claimed that the reason that the rest of their team died was because they had been provided faulty SecUnits by {name redacted}.  Those faulty SecUnits then became rogue and killed the rest of the team.”

“And guess what I fucking find when I look through our SecUnit’s logs during repair?  It’s a fucking rogue unit,” she hissed.

Shit.  Shit shit shitshitshit.  They weren’t supposed to find out now, not when we didn’t have a plan, not when the rest of the team had no reason to trust it.

“Are you sure?” Arada sounded hesitant.  “I’ll agree with you that something is weird here, but I just don’t think that our SecUnit has anything to do with it.  We all saw the footage.  Why would {name redacted} have their other SecUnits attack and nearly kill ours if they were all working together.”

“I didn’t know that it looked so human,” Volescu finally said, or rather, whispered, sounding horrified.  “I thought that it would just look like a machine.”

“I didn’t even think that it had a face.”  Bharadwaj added, just as quiet and just as horrified.  She buried her head in her hands.  “There was a whole person under there the entire time-”

Ratthi moved to go comfort her.

“And it gets worse,” Pin-Lee continued, seemingly only getting more and more fired up.  “I went through the footage of it going through Deltfall.  There’s a part where the footage just cuts out, and then when it comes back on again, you-” she pointed at me. “-have bruises.  Then, it goes OUTSIDE of the distance limit with no issues.”

They all turned to look at me.

“Gurathin, is that true?  Did it hurt you?”  Ratthi’s voice was as calm as he could make it, but concern was written plainly all over his face.

I couldn’t respond, I was completely frozen.

Arada, ever the optimist, barged in.

“Maybe Gurathin got hurt doing something else,” she sounded almost desperate.  Like she was trying to convince herself of her own words.

“Did it threaten to hurt you if you told us?” Bharadwaj then asked after a few more moments of silence, looking up from her hands and just looking… I don’t even think I have the words to describe it.

I wanted to tell her no, I wanted to deny it, I needed to SPEAK.  I couldn’t speak.  I wondered if this was what it was like for SecUnit to be immobilized during this same conversation, up until I remembered that it had never been immobilized, it had only let us think that.

“It’s {name redacted}, it has to be.  They have to be sabotaging us.” Pin-Lee went on, but I don’t really think anyone was listening to her anymore.

Suddenly, a familiar voice spoke from the doorway.

“The company isn’t trying to kill you.”

The deja vu from that singular sentence was indescribable.

All heads whipped towards the new voice to see SecUnit, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed and eyes looking just above our heads.   

Pin-Lee looked downright murderous.

“And what makes you say that, Murderbot?” She said its name, its true name, with such hatred and contempt that you’d think that she was saying the most cutting word of verbal abuse in her extensive repertoire.

I was ready for it to interact, to hurt her, to do SOMETHING.  After all, it had pinned me to a wall in my own timeline for a similar infraction.  In this timeline, with no reason to care about whether most of us lived or died, I’d expect just as much, if not worse.

It didn’t even take a step closer, its face only twitching slightly at the use of its name.

“Because if the company wanted to sabotage you, they would have poisoned your supplies using the recycling systems.  The company is more likely to kill you by accident.”

“This Unit has killed people before, people it was charged with protecting!” Pin-Lee exclaimed.  “It killed-”

“-fifty-seven members of a mining operation,” I finished for her.

Everyone was silent for a moment, before SecUnit spoke again.

“I did not hack my governor module to kill my clients.  My governor module malfunctioned because the stupid company only buys the cheapest possible components.  It malfunctioned and I lost control of my systems and i killed them.  The company retrieved me and installed a new governor module.  I hacked it so it wouldn’t happen again.”  it finished.

You were mouthing along to what I was saying.  It suddenly sent me.  

You’ve heard this all before.

Word for word.  I knew that it didn’t need me to respond to know my answer, but I responded regardless.

“Gurathin, Murder-”

“Don’t call me that.”

Mensah seemed taken aback for a second, but quickly recovered.

“SecUnit.  Something is clearly going on, and clearly you two know more about it than you’re letting on.  Can you please explain?  If not for yourselves, then for the sake of making sure that everyone is on the right page here.”

“You won’t believe it,” SecUnit said, beating me to the punch.

“Regardless,” Mensah responded, looking unfazed.  “We’ll try to believe you.”

SecUnit then turned to me.

Tell them.

I thought you said not to tell them?

Circumstances have changed.

Tell them.

I took a deep breath and looked back at all of them.

“It started about two weeks ago…”

Chapter Text

I really did not want to be here.

For the entirety of Gurathin’s explanation, the rest of the survey members kept looking at me. I hated it. I hated it so much. I wish that I was in my armor right now.

Like the very well adjusted Murderbot that I am, I made the executive decision to go to the nearest corner and stare at the wall, switching to watching them from the cameras.

“Is it… okay?” asked Dr. Ratthi, looking at Gurathin.

Gurathin waved his hand dismissively.

“It doesn’t like being looked at, so it just does that sometimes.”

Oh.” Dr. Ratthi looked a bit guilty. “Sorry,” he called, pointedly not looking at me.

That was… not awful of him. That didn’t mean I was going to respond though. Thankfully, Gurathin didn’t reprimand me for that. Actually, nobody reprimanded me for that. Weird.

“So you’re telling us-“ Pin-Lee was pacing a hole into the ground. “That you’re actually a time traveler and that the murderous, rogue, corporate surveillance machine is actually a really good person that we’re friends with?” She spat out the word friends like an insult.

“We have no proof that it is murderous,” objected Dr. Mensah. “It IS innocent until proven guilty.”

There were a few sounds of agreement from the others.

Pin-Le spluttered.

“Don’t fucking quote the law to me, and as for its ‘innocence’, it’s entire fucking existence is fucking proof of its guilt. It’s probably been sending videos of everything we’ve been doing to the company.

Okay, I could take all the other insults, but to say that I would willingly side with the company was too far.

“Nothing important has been sent to the company. I avoid sending as much as I can, so most of the video is just repeated clips.”

Pin-Lee opened her mouth to argue, closed it, and then opened it again.

“How the hell can we trust you?”

I shrugged, a very good human gesture in my opinion.

“I wouldn’t trust me, either.”

One of the humans made a sad noise at that and I didn’t not want to go through my footage to figure out which one it was.

“Look,” butted in Gurathin. “I trust SecUnit, and you all know how paranoid I can get.”

“But what if you’re wrong?” Pin-Lee sounded increasingly more exasperated, almost desperate. Exasperate.

I watched as Gurathin looked Pin-Lee dead in the eyes.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes, but-“

“Do you trust that I'd never do anything to put you guys in danger?”

“Yes, but-“

“Do you believe me?”

Pin-Lee was silent for a moment. Hell, everyone was silent. Nobody dared breathe.

“Yes, but-“

“Then that solves it. I trust SecUnit, you trust me, therefore you trust SecUnit.” He turned to face the rest of the team. “Do you all agree?”

There was a bit of hesitation before quiet agreements and head nods were given in response.

He nodded back at them. “Good.”

There were two things that I knew for certain about Gurathin; he was reserved and he was stubborn. He normally was so quiet you could almost miss him, but once you got him going it was as if he had hit his peak season. He came alight like a fire given more fuel after being left alone for so long. To see that fire being used in my defense, it made me feel… weird. I don’t know how to explain it.

Pin-Lee huffed and stormed out of the room, taking the time to shoot a glare towards me before fully exiting and setting her feed status to ‘do not disturb’.

That wouldn’t be an issue. I was content to stay as far away from her as possible.

“So,” Dr. Mensah said, grabbing everyone’s attention. “Clearly we cannot continue the survey as planned due to the-“ she glanced over at me before catching herself and turning back to everyone else. “-current situation. Our main priority right now is to make sure that this other company…”

“GreyCris,” supplied Gurathin.

Dr. Mensah nodded. “GreyCris, does not cause any harm to us. Dr. Gurathin, SecUnit, I understand that you two have been discussing this between yourselves. Have you come up with anything yet?”

Gurathin looked a bit sheepish.

“Um, no. Beyond what happens in my timeline, we don’t have anything else.”

Mensah frowned slightly.

“So why don’t we just do what happened in your
timeline?”

I answered this time.

“It’s too dangerous and risks too many people.”

Overse looked a bit nervous before speaking.

“Um, not to offend you or anything, but… why do you care? If we make it out or not.”

I did not want to answer that. I really did not want to answer that.

Regardless, I answered.

“Because I don’t actually hate you guys.” I paused and thought over the statement for a moment. “Correction, I don’t hate MOST of you guys.”

“But why not? We treated you like an object!” Arada practically cried.

Why the hell were they arguing with me over this? Did they want me to hate them?

I shrugged again.

“Still better than most of my clients.”

The same noise from earlier was made again, and I learned that it had come from Arada. I decided that I did not like it when Arada made that noise.

“Do you have a name?” Ratthi asked.

I thought about DeltFall, of pinning Gurathin against the wall, of him saying my name.

“No, just call me SecUnit.”

Gurathin didn’t say anything, didn’t even react. I was grateful for that.

“Alright, SecUnit, let us know if there is anything we can do to help you. Gurathin, the same goes to you. We’re stronger together than we are separate.” Dr. Mensah’s voice left no room for disagreement.

Gurathin nodded and I pinged an acknowledgement in the feed, followed by a list of suggestions for the meantime. I could have just said them, but I didn’t feel like speaking out loud anymore.

With a final nod towards both of us, Dr. Mensah left the room, the others all leaving shortly after. Dr. Ratthi had stayed behind a bit, looking like he wanted to say something, but eventually left without a word.

Gurathin let out a deep, exhausted sigh. I could relate, I would have done the same thing if my lung capacity would allow it.

We need a solution.
Fast. He said over the feed. I’m guessing he was just as sick of talking as I was.

I pinged an acknowledgement.

Have you found anything, literally anything, better than the original plan?

No.

I felt his frustration bleed into the feed. Not frustration at me, which was still a novel idea, but frustration at the situation, and oddly enough, frustration at himself.

This was dangerous territory. I barely understood how to deal with my own emotions, let alone someone else’s, but it felt wrong to just… not do anything. Before I could stop myself, I sent him a message.

This isn’t your fault, so stop beating yourself up over it.

I saw the surprise on his face, and could feel it in the feed.

“SecUnit-“ he said aloud, but I didn’t stay to listen to him. I was out the door as soon as the word had left his mouth.

Chapter Text

So far, this survey was going suboptimally.

We’d expected a bit of resistance from the two other surveys on the planet, we were not stupid. DeltFall had put up a fight, and seemed to have had at least some sort of forewarning. All the same, they still fell fairly easily.

The same could not be said for this other group.

We were prepared to deal with other humans of varying degrees of combat abilities. We were prepared for whatever guns, melee, or improvised weapons they might have had. We were not prepared for a rogue SecUnit.

I’d doubted that it was truly rogue. Hell, the other handler that was with me doubted it. That was until we both watched through our Units’ eyes as they short circuited and fell, and it did not. We watched as it was later brought back to the other survey’s hopper, unconscious but still clearly alive and functional. We looked at each other with dawning horror as we realized that WE were going to have to be the ones to break the news to the higher-ups.

As we sat in the hopper back to base, my coworker, Roan, broke the uncomfortable silence between us.

“How likely do you think it is that we get out of this relatively unscathed?”

“Not fucking likely. I wouldn’t be surprised if we were shot the moment we got back to base camp.”

“Ah, c'mon, they aren’t going to kill us for this,” he said, leaning back in his seat.

I wanted to yell at him, to hit him, to shake him until he saw sense. He was so young, much younger than me, and just as naive. He still had the air of untouchableness that comes with youth, that comes from not having to fight tooth and nail for your position, that comes from not having seen friends and coworkers killed for less.

“How can you be so optimistic, so calm?” My voice was nearing hysteria. I couldn’t die, not now. I had a family waiting for me back home. If I died, who would take care of them? Who would look after my children, may aging parents, my partner? Would they end up on the streets? Would they have to take a contract with even worse terms than mine? I felt my stomach tying itself into knots, the world was spinning. I clutched the edges of my seat until my knuckles turned white.

He shrugged, not seeming to notice my turmoil. Or at least, not caring enough to acknowledge it. “I just don’t think that they’d react that badly. I mean, yeah they’re going to be pissed at us, but they wouldn’t kill us over it. Besides, My family has worked for GreyCris for four generations, they wouldn’t ignore all that loyalty over one stupid mistake.” He sounded so confident in his words that I could almost ignore the logical side of myself and believe him, believe that everything was going to be okay.

Almost.

Base camp was just as hectic as it had been when we’d left it. Employees, bots and constructs constantly moving between buildings, transports of various kinds, and warehouses. A few supervisors were also standing outside, ordering the chaos around like a conductor would a symphony. The unity in which everyone moved had been impressive, awe-inspiring even, at one point. Perhaps when I had first joined and my hopes of climbing up the corporate ladder high enough for my family to be comfortable were still intact. Now, all I could see were the tired faces, dented carapaces with peeling paint, and dried blood crusted on armor. The signature GreyCris grey now being one of monotony, of prison bars, of tombstones, instead of one of silver.

I felt eyes on us, which was to be expected. There was hardly a time where we were not watched. This time though, it was different. A bot with a distinctive yellow stripe rolled up to us.

“Workers #4B151314 and #18L141225, you have been requested to attend a meeting. Please report to Supervisor Ayzi’s office.” With that, it turned around and left to continue its duties.

It was hard to suppress a shiver. ‘Requested’. The people here already knew. The higher ups knew what we’d done, knew that we’d failed, and we were now being ‘requested’ to attend a private meeting. They’d phrased it like it was optional, like we could just not show up, like this meeting would have no impact on our lives. I almost wanted to laugh.

Roan looked a bit worried, but quickly put a grin on his face.

“See?” He told me. “We’re fine. If they were mad at us, they would have told us so.”

I chuckled softly as he confidently strode toward our supervisor’s building. It was odd to see someone walk to their death with such swagger.

We were standing outside of our supervisor’s door, waiting to be allowed in. The Unit stationed in front of the door was not looking at us, but we’d both been around constructs long enough to know that just because they weren’t looking at you doesn’t mean that they aren’t still watching you.

I avoided eye contact, as if that would do anything.

For all the confidence that Roan had shown on the hopper, cracks were starting to form. He was tapping his fingers against his sides, glancing around the room as if he expected people to jump out of the walls, shifting his weight from side to side. He glanced at me, and I could see the beginnings of nervousness, of fear, on his face.

“What-“ Roan started, only to be cut off by the whooshing sound of the door opening.

“Enter,” called the bored voice of our supervisor.

We did as instructed, with only a hint of hesitance. I hoped with everything in me that it hadn’t been noticed.

“Supervisor Azyi, thank you for meeting with us on such short-“ Roan started.

Supervisor Azyi waved xer hand to cut him off.

“What was so urgent that you HAD to see me immediately? If I do not deem it an appropriate reason, I can assure you that there will be consequences.” Xe were acting as if xe weren’t the one who called the meeting, who called us.

I risked a glance towards Roan, to find him still looking back at me. Unspoken pleas of ‘you tell xem’, with silent replies of ‘no you’ passing between us.

Xe made an impatient noise.

I took a shaking breath and looked at xem. Piercing eyes darker than the vacuum of space bore into my soul. I forced myself to not break eye contact. If xe wanted us to play xer game, then I would play.

“There was a…” I grasped for the lightest way to put it. “…Complication… at DeltFall.”

Xer eyebrow raised.

“And?”

I felt as if I’d become a hundred times smaller, as if xe were towering over me, despite that not being the case. I continued.

“The DeltFall survey team has been completely dealt with, but the PreservationAux survey team arrived soon after, presumably to provide aid.”

“And I assume that they were also dealt with?” Even though it was posed as a question, it clearly was not. Upon my and my colleague’s silence, xer face hardened. “I assume that they are not alive, as anyone with half a brain cell would know that they are now infinitely more of a risk to us than before.”

“They escaped!” Blurted out my colleague. “But it wasn’t our fault, they have a rogue unit!”

“You fucking imbeciles!” Xe roared. “You had more than enough resources at your disposal to overpower a single shitty rogue and a small band of freehold hippies!”

“We nearly had it!” I heard myself say. “It was down and almost completely neutralized, but one of the survey members went back for it.”

“That still doesn’t explain why you didn’t kill them while they were defenseless!”

“All available units were compromised, we couldn’t-“

“Then go after them your fucking selves! Do you really think that your lives are really so important that their continuation is more important than the survival of this company?”

The real answer was yes, all of us knew that, but to say so was tantamount to lying down in our own coffins and shutting the lid.

“No.” We both said.

Supervisor Azyi continued to stare at us.

“Then why, pray tell, are the dead bodies of the PreservationAux survey team not at the DeltFall site?”

We were silent.

Xe gave an exasperated sigh.

“Unit 01904,” xe called. The Unit who had previously been standing guard outside the office came in. We both turned to look at it nervously. Xe flicked xer hand. “ You know what to do.”

There was barely a fraction of a second before my colleague went from standing beside me, terrified, to lying on the floor with more of his head on the floor and wall than on his body. He didn’t even have time to scream. I turned, I don’t know if I planned to run, to duck, to fight back, or what, but whatever I’d planned to do was cut off just as quickly. There was a second of blinding pain and then there was nothing.

Chapter Text

It was around twelve hours later when I got the message from SecUnit.  I was honestly surprised to see the notification.  After… whatever had happened earlier, I didn’t think that it would be willing to talk to me, even if it was through the feed.  

I opened up the message, optimistically (and a bit naïvely) expecting it to be about earlier.  What it actually said was a gut punch back into reality.

Some of SecSystem’s sensors picked up unknown movement around a few hours away from the Hab

Don’t ask if it’s a large fauna, I checked

The attempt at humor, if it even was an attempt at all, completely flew over me.  Whatever hopes of having time to plan our next move were as good as crushed.

No.

No no no no.

We were supposed to have more time!  Fuck, that might as well be the tagline of the last few weeks.  Why had I expected this to go differently?  Why had I been so fucking stupid-

Whatever internal crisis you’re having right now, knock it off.  We don’t have time for this.

You know the most about what’s about to happen, and so we need you to not lose your shit.

I felt a hysterical laugh start to build.  

Might as well give up, then.  I sent back.

If i’m the person that everyone is relying on, then we’re all fucked.

I was about to close out of the conversation, to just fully give up and accept my fate, when the door suddenly opened.  The next thing I knew, I was being dragged out of my room by a very irritated looking SecUnit.

It dragged me all the way to the Security Ready Room before practically throwing me inside and closing the door behind us. I stumbled towards the back.

“What the fuck?” It spat out.

“What do you mean ‘what the fuck’?  If anyone here gets to say ‘what the fuck’, it’s me!”  I shot back after regaining my footing.

“You’re just going to give up?  Are you fucking kidding me?”

“What does it matter?  Everything’s screwed up already.  We’ll all die whether or not I do anything.”

There are very few times that I can say that I have truly been scared of SecUnit.  Not by, not because of, but OF SecUnit.

This was now one of those times.

It was glaring at me (well, a few inches to the left of me) with such intense fury that I was surprised that it hadn’t already killed me.

“Look,” it said, voice eerily even.  “I know that we may not be the same people you once knew, that this situation isn’t exactly the same as what you went through, but I will not just let you give up the lives of everyone here because of your own stupid inferiority complex.  Whether you like it or not, you are the most qualified person to deal with this situation.  If you give up now, everyone is guaranteed to die.  You need to stop thinking about yourself and fucking focus on telling us what we need to fucking do to survive this.”  By the end of its tirade, its collected facade was almost completely nonexistent.  Its voice was shaking.

“There is nothing we can do!  You said it yourself earlier, we missed the possibility of a ‘best case scenario’.  Everything else is too risky-“

It slammed its hand against the wall, and I thought I  saw a dent left as it drew back.

“YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE OF DEEMING WHAT IS AND IS NOT TOO RISKY.”

The attack at the wall mixed with the raised voice (at least by SecUnit standards) made me startle slightly.  I think it noticed as well, as when it next spoke, it was much quieter.

“It’s risky, but I’d much rather risk the lives of my clients than leave them for certain death.  That’s kind of the entire point of hacking my governor module.  One of you dying it…” it seemed as if it had to force itself to continue the sentence.  “…not optimal, but even if just one of you survives-“

“It wouldn’t have all been for nothing.” I finished.

It didn’t say anything in response, it didn’t even move.  Then again, it didn’t need to.  I knew what it meant, and it knew that I understood.

I sighed.

“Help me get as many of the things in here that can be used as weapons out into the main area.  I’ll get Mensah to call a team meeting.”

“Mensah told us to meet you here-…. what is all of this?” Bharadwaj asked as she came through the doors into the main area.  Arada, Overse, and Ratthi were close behind.

“Weapons,” I said, putting down another crate full of weapons and weapon-adjacent objects.

“Well, yes, I can see that, what are they doing here?” She stopped a few spaces away from me.

“Hopefully-“ I pulled out a few energy handguns and placed them on the table in front of me. “-they will prevent us from all getting killed.

Ratthi attempted to pick one of them up before having his hand swatted away by SecUnit.

“Agh!  Why did you do that?”

“Security risk.” It didn’t elaborate before leaving to get another crate from the ready room.

“Am I really a security risk?” He whined to Arada, who wasn’t paying attention to him.  Instead, she was looking very worriedly at me.

“How can we help,” she asked in lieu of answering Ratthi.

“Barricade anything that people or constructs could potentially enter through, take a weapon first though.”  I motioned at the table.

“Wait, how come she’s not a security risk?” Demanded Ratthi.

“She passed weapons training on Preservation.  You, on the other hand, have not.”

“What happens if someone tries to kill me, then?”

“Hit them with a stick,” Overse answered as SecUnit came back into the room with the final crate.

“Would that work?” I asked it.

It seemed to think for a moment.

“Fine.  I need to approve the stick though, and this does not give you permission to go and actively seek out a fight.  It also does not give you permission to fight in general.”

“Wait, if I’m not fighting, then what’s the point?”

“He has a point,” added Overse. “What exactly are we going to be doing?”

“Holding down the fort while and I go launch GreyCris’s beacon.”

“I didn’t agree to that,” it interrupted.  “You are not going alone.”

“Well, it’s better that you stay here where you can keep everyone else safe.”

“That means that you’re not safe though.”

“It doesn’t matter, it risks the least amount of people.”

“It’s against any basic safety protocol-“

“OH MY FUCKING GOD, GET A FUCKING ROOM!”  Yelled Pin-Lee as she passed by the entrance carrying spare material and a power tool that I couldn't immediately identify.

I’m not even going to try to attempt to describe what SecUnit’s face was doing, because there is no way that I could do it justice in words.  

It was just such an absurd moment of hilarity in an otherwise terrifyingly stressful moment that I started laughing.   Really laughing, not manic panic laughing or uncomfortable anxiety laughing, but actually laughing.

SecUnit made an offended noise, whether it was about the comment or about my laughing, I didn’t know.  It dug through one of the crates we had brought in earlier and produced a (fairly small) metal bar that I recognized as a support to one of the temporary tents that were supposed to be used in the field.  It handed the stick to Ratthi.

“Don’t ask for anything bigger, I won’t let you use anything bigger.”

Ratthi looked a bit dissatisfied, maybe even a bit disappointed, but he took the stick without verbal complaint.

“Anywhere in particular we should start barricading?” Asked Arada, bringing everybody back on task.

“Yes, go down to the southeast entrance.  I’m pretty sure that’s the only one that nobody’s working on.”  I glanced over at SecUnit for confirmation.  It gave a curt nod of its head, seemingly done with conversation.  They all took this as a sign to leave, heading through the door leading to the southeast section of the Hab.

I didn’t blame it for not bothering to speak.  Hell, I was exhausted.  It was yet another reminder of why I hated being in charge; there was just so much talking.  Was this what it had dealt with in my timeline?  Constantly having everyone asking it what to do, where to go, how to help.  It was an introvert nightmare.  ‘ When I got back, I would thank it.’ I told myself as I continued to unload the crates and organize the supplies.  

‘Wait, no.’  I stopped, the medkit I was holding frozen between the crate and the table. I didn’t have to wait.  Why should I wait?  It was here right now, doing exactly what I wanted to thank it for.  ‘Why shouldn’t I just thank it? ’

It hit me then.   Was this what it had meant earlier when it was telling me that I still needed to take action, even if they weren’t the same people I once knew?  Had I been, subconsciously or not, seeing the people around me not as my friends, or even really people, but more as props or characters in a game, to be moved and placed around as needed?  I would never, ever just leave my friends to die, and yet I had been so prepared to just let everyone here die just because things had gotten a bit difficult.

Was that really the kind of person I was?  Had I always been this person, deep down, or had I become this along the way?  Had all that time on Preservation really done nothing?  Was I still always doomed to fall back into corporate selfishness when it mattered most?

Why did you stop? SecUnit asked me through the feed.

I was seized with the sudden urge to ask it, to have an answer.  Whether I wanted it to deny my thoughts and save my ego, or agree and tell me that I was right to put my internal turmoil to rest, I did not know.

Do you think I’m selfish?

For everything.  For messing with your guys’ world and lives, for only wanting to save myself?

There was a pause on its end, in which I noticed that it had also stopped moving.

Yes. It sent finally, but it was immediately followed by a brick of text that caught me off guard, causing a small shock to my systems that were unprepared for the influx of information.

But it’s more complicated than you think.  You’re selfish because all people are selfish, that’s kind of the entire point of you.  You’re selfish because your ultimate goal in life as a human or augmented human is to not die.  When you showed up here, your goal was to not die, and to try and make sure that other people didn’t die.  Given, you were pretty stupid about it, but you did what you thought was best with the information you had at the time.  You weren’t trying to be intentionally malicious, you just ended up being so because you are an augmented human that is prone to making stupid decisions regarding safety and security.  The worst crime of yours was being willing to just give up when things got hard.  You let your selfishness get the best of you, not because you’re evil, but because you are a person in an extremely difficult situation.  You let it overwhelm you, and ran the risk of everyone dying because of your apathy. 

There was another short pause before another message appeared, I’m guessing because of the character limit.

But you didn’t let it fully consume you.  You let yourself be shoved back into reality for what could be seen as an equally selfish reason.  One could argue that the only reason you let that happen is because you like this group, and you wouldn’t like it if they died.  It’s still selfish and self-serving, but a different kind of it, a better kind.  It’s the same kind of selfish that made you send a message to DeltFall.  You could have just let them die without doing anything, but then you would have felt guilty.  So instead you sent them a warning, and then elected to try and go help them physically when given the chance.   It’s a kind of selfish that’s forgivable.  It’s the reason why I’m not mad at you risking lives at DeltFall, but I am mad at you for risking them through your apathy.

No matter what happens, it’s because you were selfish.  People might die because of your selfishness, but more importantly, they might live.

I felt a hot wetness behind my eyes that I tried and mostly failed to blink away.

So stop overthinking it.  I’ve hit my limit of dealing with gross human emotions today, I’m not dealing with any more.  It sent almost as an afterthought.

“Thanks SecUnit,” I managed to say.  “Really, thanks.”

I could feel some of its frustration, irritation, and something else that I couldn’t identify in the feed.  It still didn’t move, and a glance to its face revealed that it looked conflicted.

“Doyouneedahug?” It said as fast as it could, looking in the complete opposite direction of me.

“I don’t want you to feel pressured-“

“I’m offering and the offer is ending soon, so just say yes or no.”

“Yeah, that would be nice,” I said, voice quiet enough that I wondered if it had even heard me.

Large, if a bit awkward, arms wrapping around me answered my question.  I wrapped my arms around it in turn and squeezed gently.  After a moment, it did the same before removing itself from me almost as fast as it had hugged me and moving several paces away.  It turned back towards the crates it had been dealing with.

“Also, very bold of you to assume that you could ever pressure me into anything, because only one of us is a sentient weapon and it definitely isn’t you.”  

I smiled.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Chapter Text

“For the record, I still don’t like this idea.”  One of its drones was hovering very close to my face.

“I know.”

“You should bring someone with you, you need backup.”

“I know.”

“You aren't going to listen to me though, aren’t you?”

“I am not.”

I think it would have sighed if it was a human.

We were prepping the little hopper.  The goal was to get me as close to the GreyCris beacon as possible, and then walk the rest of the way.  Hopefully, GreyCris would be too preoccupied dealing with SecUnit and the rest to notice.

Hopefully.

“Just remember not to touch any of the controls, everything’s been preprogrammed, but I just in case, maybe I should check-“  

“SecUnit, are you stalling?”  I was confused.  It never acted like this in my own timeline, and while I had come to terms with the fact that the people here were different from my own timeline, they were still ultimately the same people.  SecUnit was still SecUnit, and no iteration of Secunit would ever purposely stall a lifesaving mission.

It stopped, a deer in headlights.

“Noooo.” It was quiet for a few seconds, before practically whispering “Yes.”

“I’m going to be fine, you know?”  It had spent so much time comforting me, the least I could do was try to return the favor.  And if I was being honest with myself, I needed to hear it just as much as it did.

“The numbers largely disagree with that.”

Well, shit.  It was right, I couldn’t deny that.  I guess it’s easier to comfort someone when they’re not actually right. But it was just like SecUnit said, if even one of us made it out, the risk would be worth it.  I knew that that wasn’t going to be me, I knew that this was how I was going to die.  Regardless, it was the safest decision for the others.  I may die, but they’d all get out.  It was selfish, but it was the good kind of selfish.

“I’m not stupid, I’ll be safe.”

“Both of those are lies.  If you were smart, you’d stay here, or let someone go with you.  You are making the stupid decision to be unsafe.”

“Hey, better me than anyone else.  Besides, if anything goes wrong, then at least it’s your least favorite human that’s gone,” I joked.

It clearly didn’t land, as its mouth formed a hard line.  It glared down at its hands.

“Why would you think that?”  There was something in its voice that I had never heard before.  It sounded… hurt.  Genuinely hurt, and a touch offended.

“Well, uh, at least in my timeline, I’m your least favorite human.  You don’t like me.”  I was flailing, trying to explain the joke and prevent this conversation from getting any worse.

It’s jaw tightened.

“How long is it going to take for you to acknowledge that things are different here?”

“Oh, believe me, I know that,” I said, snorting humorlessly.

“No, I don’t think you do.”

“SecUnit, we’ve already had this conversation, can we just let it go?” I pleaded.

“No, we can’t.  You keep expecting that I hate you to the point where you’re accounting for that in everything that you do.  You expect that I hate you, so you barely communicate with me even when you need to.  You expect that I hate you, so you send yourself off on this fucking suicide mission.  You expect that I hate you, so you think I won’t fucking care.  Well, guess what?  I do care about you.  I care about what happens to you, and you can fucking bet I’ll care if you go and get yourself killed.”

“You said that if even just one person survives this, everything that happened wouldn’t be for nothing.  You hacked your governor module to save people, and I am giving you the best shot at being able to do it.”

“Remember how I also said that you are not in charge of what is and is not too risky.  I will not send you off to your guaranteed death for the slight boost to the chance that the others may live.  You have to bring someone with you.”

“What, so you won’t send one person off to die, but you’ll send two?” I snapped.

“I won’t send you alone because I know you don’t care if you get killed for the others.  You won’t try to keep yourself alive other than to do your job.  I won’t let you die.”

“And what happens if someone else dies because of that?”

It was quiet again.

“You’re…,” it whispered.  “..important to me.”

“No, I’m not,” I scoffed.  I wasn’t going to believe this.  I couldn’t let myself believe this.

“You cannot tell me what I do and don't feel,” it shot back.

“Well, I can fucking tell you that I’m not important to you.  I never have been.  You’d let me die-”

“I AM NOT THE SAME PERSON THAT YOU KNEW.” It glared at me, making direct eye contact.  “I thought that you were different.  You saw me as a person when nobody else ever had.  You treated me as an equal.  But you are so.  Fucking.  Selfish.  You push me away, you’d push everyone else away, hell, maybe the reason that the other me hates you is because you pushed it away.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.  I-”

“Sure, you were a dick, but that was twenty years ago.  Twenty years is more than enough fucking time to get over a single mistake.”

No, it was lying.  What I had done was unforgivable.  It had to hate me.  I couldn’t talk about this.

“You don’t know me, but I know you.  I know that you hate me, that we conflict too much for you to like me, and that I have not been, and never will be important to you.”

It shook its head.

“You know what?  You’re not different.  I thought you were, but you’re not.  In fact, you are everything I hate about humanity; selfish, self-centered, stubborn.  Is that what you want to hear, Gurathin?”

I didn’t respond, just turned away from it.

“You are a fucking coward, Gurathin,” it said as i got in the hopper.  “A fucking coward.”

I could feel tears forming, but I didn’t know why.  It was right, I was a coward.  I was a coward that was running away on a stupid suicide mission because I was too stubborn to listen to the people around me.  

I didn’t look back as the hopper took off.  I didn’t know if I was scared to see that it had left the launchpad, or to see that it hadn’t.

Everything had been going well by the time I touched down.  In this case, the distance between the beacon and GreyCris’s main camp was a help, rather than the hindrance it had been between our beacon and camp.

The first step out of the hopper showed a deceptively peaceful environment.  If I hadn’t seen a hint of them before landing, I would never have guessed that a few kilometers away GreyCris was planning and orchestrating the attempted slaughter of all my friends.

As I started walking, the debris of the forest floor was much louder than I had expected.  I tried to step as lightly as I could, but couldn’t avoid making noise.  I prayed that nobody was near, or at least that anyone who was near couldn’t make out the noise that I was making from the general noises expected from forests.  

Compared to where our beacon was, GreyCris’s was in a much more difficult-to-traverse area.  Clearing the forest led you to a rocky outcrop where the beacon was located.  To actually get there, you would have to climb up, over, and around the boulders scattered around.  If this were a normal survey mission, we likely would have taken samples from here.  I personally would have wanted to stop to look at the makeup of the rocks.  Judging by the strations, they were likely breakoffs from the central outcrop, but it would require further observation to determine if that was true.  I was tempted to stop for a moment, but reminded myself to focus.  I had a job here, and my friends’ lives depended on it.

Once I had finally made it up to the ledge where the beacon was located, I was exhausted and very out of breath.  I may be younger, but not nearly young enough for the trek to be easy on my, well, everything.  I stopped for a moment to catch my breath, to allow myself a moment of weakness before I did my job when I felt a sharp pain in my left side.  I doubled over and clutched at my side only to feel something warm and wet.  I brought my hand back and yeah, shit, that was blood.  There was another pain in my arm and I didn't need to look to see if it was blood.  The floodgates seemed to have opened then, as more and more shots started to be fired towards me.  I was lucky that most of them landed in the dirt or somewhere behind me rather than in me, but even my limited knowledge of anything medically related told me that my odds were not looking good right now.

“IDENTIFY YOURSELF!” called a voice I didn’t recognize.

“YOU’RE REALLY GOING TO ASK THAT AFTER YOU SHOT ME?” I yelled back.  I was not in the mood to deal with this.

“IF YOU REFUSE TO IDENTIFY, YOU ARE IMMEDIATELY MARKED AS HOSTILE.  YOU ARE SURROUNDED, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO GET CLOSER TO THE BEACON.”

“GO FUCK YOURSELF.” I look another step towards the beacon, gritting my teeth in pain.

“STOP!” 

I didn’t listen, just kept going.  My breathing was heavy, every movement hurt.

“IF YOU KEEP MOVING, WE WILL CONTINUE TO SHOOT.”

Right, left, right, left, only  a few more steps.  I hissed as a shot hit my calf.  Still, I continued walking.

I now stood in front of the beacon, and was able to connect to it through my augments.

My legs were shaking.

Please confirm beacon launch…

I dropped onto my knees.

Confirm beacon launch. I selected.

I felt lightheaded.  Someone was screaming.

Beacon launch confirmed, please evacuate the area.

The world was spinning.  Someone was touching my shoulder.

“-rathin?  Can you –er us?”

“Beacon….launch…leave,” I tried to say.  I didn’t know if the person (people) was friend or foe, and honestly I was too out of it to care.

“Shit. Where’s-”  there were rustling sounds.

Then everything was quiet for a moment.  I couldn’t feel anything, couldn’t hear anything, couldn’t see anything.  So this is how I die I thought.  It was weird.  I felt kind of like I was underwater.  It was… peaceful, in a weird way.

Suddenly, it was as if I’d surfaced for a second.

“-et him on the stretcher.”

Just as suddenly as I had been brought up, I was forced back under again. Before I could even process what had just happened, I was up again.

“-lood loss, very sever-”

 I tried desperately to claw my way back to consciousness, to force myself awake, but it was all to no avail.  I waited to be brought back up again, but nothing happened.  I was left in the nothingness with more questions than answers and no way of answering the questions I had.

I didn’t know if the others were alive, let alone okay.  I didn’t know if they’d escaped.  I didn’t know if the beacon had successfully gone off.

I didn’t know anything about SecUnit.  I regretted not trying to get to know anything about SecUnit, about either of them.  I regretted not knowing if either of them truly still hated me…

Or if it was all in my head.

As I sunk further and further down into the ocean of my own head.  SecUnit once said that it hated being in its head because that’s where most of its problems were.  It was right about that.  Hell, it was right about a lot of things.  

I wished I knew just how many things it had been right about.

Chapter Text

As a SecUnit, I physically do not have a heart.  It wouldn’t make sense for me to have one.  Human hearts are extremely fragile under stress, and being a SecUnit isn’t exactly the most relaxing job.  Instead, a mechanical pump is used to move various fluids and coolant throughout my body.  It’s simple.  Efficient.  So naturally, I never really understood what humans meant when they say they felt their heart stop.  Most of the time, there was evidence to the contrary.  I’d dismissed it as just a dramatic human saying.

That was until I heard the first shot.

Yes, I followed him after he left.  I’m not stupid, okay?  I wasn’t just going to let Gurathin go off to get himself killed, regardless of how frustrated I currently was with him.

Anyway, the moment I registered the noise I started running.  In that moment, everything else ceased to exist, or at least ceased to matter.  The only thing that mattered was making sure that Gurathin was alive.  

The first shooter was easy to spot, and even easier to incapacitate.  I didn’t know if they were dead or alive.  I didn’t care.  The other shooters noticed me, and started yelling, calling out to the one who was unconscious (or dead, but I wasn’t thinking about that).

That's when I saw him, standing in the clearing with the beacon.  The shooters didn’t matter right now, because there he was, standing, ALIVE, regardless of how much he was swaying on his feet.  Ignoring the continued yells of the hostiles (they were speaking in a language that I either didn’t understand, or didn’t bother to translate).  

I started walking, running, sprinting over to him.  I  called out to the others on our coms, asking if they were close, telling them that they needed to be here as soon as physically possible.  I got a verbal affirmation from one of them that they’d heard me, and received coordinates.  Good, they were close.  I then diverted all of my attention onto trying to steady Gurathin.

“Gurathin, can you hear us?”  Mensah asked over the com, an edge of worried desperation in her voice.

“Beacon…launch….leave,” he heaved out in between labored breaths.  I wasn’t sure if he recognized me or Mensah.  He then half collapsed onto me, and had to quickly try to keep him from falling off of me and onto the ground.

I looked down at him and noticed that his jacket was now almost fully soaked through with blood.  

“Shit-“ I hissed, glancing around wildly.  “Where’s-“ I stopped when I heard the rustling of flora from behind me.  I knew that it wasn’t the rest of PresAux, they wouldn’t be here for another few minutes.  I turned to see the hostiles that had been shooting at Gurathin.

“GET AWAY FROM THE BEACON,” the first one (HostileOne) yelled, gun raised.

I didn’t respond.  I was too furious to respond, too furious to even react.  I just stared, waiting until it would boil over and I would snap and be able to do something, ANYTHING.  My lack of visible reaction seemed to make HostileOne even angrier.

“MOVE, DAMMIT!  WE DID NOT MAKE IT THIS FAR ONLY FOR YOU FUCKERS TO SHOW UP AT THE LAST MINUTE!”

Wait, what?  That didn’t make sense.  ‘Made it this far’, did they mean in trying to kill everyone for alien remnants?

I then did something that I probably should have done (and which security protocol normally dictates that I do), and checked the feed ID.

Name: David Bohin

Pronouns: He/Him

Profession: Biologist

Affiliation: University of Deltora

It was then, as I was in the middle of having a miniature crisis at this discovery, that Mensah, Overse, and Pin-Lee practically burst into the clearing.

“Drop your weapons,” Mensah demanded, using what I am guessing was her best Planetary Leader voice.

There was then a moment where HostileOne (I’m still going to call him that, better safe than sorry) looked between me and Mensah repeatedly, seemingly as dumbstruck as I was.

“What the fuck?” He whispered, turning fully to Mensah.  “What the fuck is going on?  Why are you working for GreyCris?”

Broken from the awkward moment, Mensah motioned for Overse to go over to me and Gurathin before returning her attention to HostileOne.

“What do you mean ‘why am I working for GreyCris’, I don’t.  Why would you ask that?”  She looked over in my general direction.  “SecUnit, do you know what’s going on?”

“DeltFall survivors,” I responded, still feeling very emotion-y.  Not completely sure which ones, but there sure were a lot of them.  At Overse’s request, I laid Gurathin on the ground and let her start doing whatever first aid she was doing.  I’m a SecUnit, my job is just to keep them from dying long enough to get them to a MedSys, not be the MedSys.

“Deltfall survivors…” she mumbled to herself, before the meaning truly sunk in.  “How many?”

HostileOne lowered his gun.  (Still not going to call him anything else.  I do not care if he is not hostile, I still don’t like him.)

“There are five of us,” he answered cautiously, then glared at me.  “Maybe only four.”

“You shot one of our members, it was self defense.”  I don’t know why I felt the need to defend myself, but I’m guessing it had to do with the amount of emotions that I was currently having.

“We thought he was GreyCris, he wouldn’t identify himself,” he responded.

“Why the fuck would GreyCris be launching their beacon?  They think all of you are dead, and they think that we’re all as good as dead.”

HostileOne was quiet, looking away uncomfortably under Pin-Lee’s piercing glare.

“We need to get him on the stretcher, the one in the hopper,” Arada said, getting everyone’s attention.  “Fast.”

“He’s still alive?” HostileOne said incredulously.  Mensah and Pin-Lee had similarly shocked expressions, but seemed to only say something like that in their heads.

“Not for long, not if we don’t get him on some kind of life support.”

“Do you know what’s wrong?”  Mensah asked.

Pin-Lee looked between Mensah and Overse, very confused.

“What’s fucking wrong?  He got fucking shot, that’s what’s fucking wrong!  Really Ayda-“

“I was asking if anything important was penetrated by the bullets,” Mensah interrupted, shooting a stern look at Pin-Lee.  “I am not an idiot.”

“The main concern right now is blood loss, very severe blood loss.  From what I can see, his lungs are fine, heart is fine, but none of that matters if he bleeds out.”

“Pin-Lee, go,” Mensah ordered.

Pin-Lee looked for a second as if she was about to argue, but started sprinting back towards where the hopper was presumably located.

I hoped with everything in me, as I looked down at Gurathin’s deathly pale face, that she’d be fast enough.   I couldn’t lose him, I couldn’t lose the first human that had actually cared.  The first one that I’d truly had the choice to care about.

Gurathin died only a few hours later.  It wasn’t enough.  None of it was enough.

I wasn’t enough.

The company ship arrived the next day. The Company had offered to cremate him, but the offer had been declined.  Something about Preservation traditions.  I wondered if the planet he was originally from had any traditions for their dead.  If he had wanted something specific to be done after he died.  I would never know the answer.  I would never know the answer to a lot of things.  I was almost looking forward to being shut down on the return trip, but unfortunately I was not.  Mensah has requested that I stay up by them, and the company had relented.  

We hadn’t known what to do with his body, so he’d just been wrapped up in a few sheets and put in one of the ship’s rooms.  I didn’t go in, but some of the others did.  Ratthi went often, and sometimes I thought I could hear him talking.  Ratthi tried his best to keep smiling for the others, but it was clear to everyone that it wasn’t genuine.  Eventually, he stopped trying.  Bharadwaj visited once or twice, but never stayed for long.  Both times she exited sobbing, barely able to walk.  I had been asked if I wanted to see him, but declined every time.  I didn’t know much about what I wanted before Gurathin, and I knew even less after him, but I did know that I didn’t want to see him.  Every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was him collapsing on me, covered in blood, his pale face as he laid on the ground, the fact that his expression never changed.  That I’d never see it change again.  That none of us would ever see it change again.

My contract was bought out once we reached the station.  My guess was that it was out of pity.  I think I was supposed to be happy, or at least to feel something.  

I didn’t.

I was given a room on Preservation.  I didn’t leave.  Occasionally I got messages from the rest of PresAux; asking if I was okay, asking if I wanted to do something, telling me about what was going on.  I didn’t respond to any of them.  I didn’t want to see them, I didn’t want to see anyone.  They didn’t stop messaging me.

Mensah sent me a message about his funeral.  An invite.  I blocked her.  Ratthi did the same, and I blocked him too.  I blocked everyone.

Nothing was helping.  Not even my media.  Not even Sanctuary Moon.  I couldn’t do this much longer.

I couldn’t take it.

I can’t take it.

Maybe I’ll see you again.

“This unit is at minimal functionality and it is recommended that you discard it.  Your contract allows for a replacement to be issues upon contacting [name redacted] at 800-988…”

[UNIT OFFLINE]

Chapter Text

In all logical terms-

You know what? Fuck it. Fuck logical terms. Nothing about this situation, about the last however long, made any sort of fucking sense. Fuck looking at this logically. If I was still supposed to be looking at all of this logically, then I should be dead, and guess what? I am decidedly not fucking dead, and judging by my surroundings and the renewed aches and pains that are definitely not from gunshot wounds, I am also not by the beacon.

“What the fuck,” I mumbled, trying to sit up to get a better look of my surroundings.

“Oh shit, he’s up,” a voice called. Ratthi’s voice, that was Ratthi’s voice.

“Yeah, ‘m up.” ‘I definitely shouldn’t be, though’ I didn’t say.

Suddenly, there was a flash and I was being pinned down to the bed by my shoulders.

“What the actual fuck, Gurathin,” SecUnit said.

When did it get here? Why was it here? Not that I was complaining, or anything, but I just…. didn’t expect it.

“Why do you keep doing that? Pinning me against things, I mean.” Great job Gurathin. You know, it’s probably really concerned about your wellbeing right now. Maybe you should have said something about how you’re alright first instead of asking why it keeps pinning you to things, regardless of the timeline. Just a thought.

It ignored me, glaring at the space above my head.

“I leave you unattended for ONE SURVEY, and you get yourself struck by lightning. Do you know how difficult it is to do that? Do you know how unlikely that is to happen?”

“Damn, must’ve forgotten how unlikely it is to be struck by lightning. Surely if I’d remembered, it wouldn’t have happened.”

Its jaw tensed.

‘Fuck you’ it said over the feed, before releasing its grip on my shoulders.

“Don’t worry, the universe has already got you covered,” I mumbled in response.

It seemed like it was going to say something, but didn’t have the time to reply (if it was even going to reply, I could’ve just misinterpreted) before I was swarmed by several people at once.

“Holy shit, Gurathin, are you okay?” Arada asked?

Before I could answer, Pin-Lee responded.

“Does he LOOK okay?”

“Gee, thanks, Pin-Lee.”

“Oh shut up, letting me make comments at your expense is payback for the sheer amount of anxiety you’ve caused me for the past few weeks.”

“Well, I’ve been having a bit of a time myself, so I’d say it evens out.” I attempted to sit up again, but was pushed down again by SecUnit (although it didn’t hold me down this time).

“You’re injured, just fucking lay down. You’re making my job harder than it needs to be.”

“Sorry, sorry.”

“Do you need anything?” Bharadwaj asked, wringing her hands. “Water, food?”

“Yeah, water would be great, thanks.”

She nodded somewhat frantically and left.

“She’s been in an absolute state since what happened,” Arada explained. “I mean, we all have, but she’s been taking it harder than most of us. She blames herself. Said she was the one who told you to run.”

“Well then, she’s a liar. Running was my idea, and it’s not like she can control the weather.” With my luck though, she just might fucking be able to and none of us knew. Anything was possible at this point. Maybe Ratthi was also a werewolf, I don’t fucking know.

“You know full well that people will still find a way to blame themselves when someone they care about gets hurt,” Pin-Lee said, not so subtly looking in SecUnit’s direction. Raising her voice, she continued, “AND IT’S REALLY FUCKING STUPID TO BLAME YOURSELF FOR SOMETHING YOU HAD NO CONTROL OVER. SECUNIT, THIS IS ABOUT YOU.”

Subtlety had never really been Pin-Lee’s strong suit.

“I’m not acknowledging that,” it said.

“Well too bad, ‘cause you already acknowledged it.”

If SecUnit could sigh, I’m pretty sure it would be sighing right now.

“Can we not fight right now? Gurathin just woke up, and I don’t think the first thing he wants to deal with is arguing.”

If I was being honest, it was actually quite entertaining, but it would be best to get some answers as to what the hell was going on.

“So, where am I, exactly?”

“Preservation Station Medical Bay,” replied Pin-Lee. She was still aggressively looking in SecUnit’s direction. It was looking in the direction opposite of her. Maturity at its finest.

“And how did I get here?”

“We returned early after you didn’t wake up for two days.”

“And how many days has it been?” I didn’t really want to know the answer to this?”

“Around a month.”

I am not going to put down the exact words that I said, mostly because they don’t translate into the standard language easily, but rest assured that there were certainly a lot of words and many of which were obscene.

“I got the water, sorry it took so long. I got a bit lost and had to ask for directions back to the room,” Bharadwaj announced as she strode into the room, holding out a paper cup of water as triumphantly as was possible to do.

“Thank you,” I said, and downed the whole thing as fast as I could without choking. It would really suck if I made it all this way just to die via asphyxiation.

Arada clapped her hands together.

“Okay, now that we’ve had a chance to talk a bit, I think we should let Gurathin rest. He’s been through a lot.”

She didn’t even know the half of it.

“What do you mean ‘let him rest’? He’s been resting, hell, he’s been doing nothing BUT resting. Thats why he’s fucking here!” Pin-Lee hissed.

“Pin-Lee, I think you’re just trying to argue for the sake of arguing.” Ratthi was being the voice of reason, what had the world come to when I was gone?

“And so what if I am? This little shit has been giving me a fucking heart attack for the past month!” She gestured towards me.

“I resent being called ‘little’ when I’m taller than you. I am at least a full-sized shit.”

“DO NOT ARGUE SEMANTICS WITH ME.”

“Aaaaaaand that’s enough of that. Try and get some rest, Gurathin,” Ratthi called as he half dragged Pin-Lee out of the room, the others following behind him.

Now it was just me and SecUnit.

It was just me and SecUnit a lot now, I noticed.

‘Your augments are less fucked up than expected’ it sent.

‘Careful, I might think that you’re complimenting me.’ I didn’t even think about the fact that this was the version of SecUnit that I didn’t have a close bond with. That this was the SecUnit who was still suspicious of me, who still resented me even after all these years.

‘It’s not a compliment to you. If anything, it’s a compliment to the people who made your augments.’
‘They should put that in the advertising, ‘withstands time-traveling lightning strikes’’
‘*lightning strikes that make you travel, not strikes of lightning that have time traveled’

What.
The.
Actual.
Fuck.

‘How do you know about that?’

‘While you were unconscious, memory files kept appearing in your augments. I opened them, and they were of The Survey, but not of the way it actually happened. I asked Bharadwaj, and she said that it wasn’t just you dreaming or wildly misremembering things, because the original memories were still in place. We asked the others, and we decided that it was probably some kind of time travel through process of elimination.’

I had so many questions. What could have possibly been eliminated before ‘time travel’? Why was SecUnit going through my memory files? How was this the most reasonable line of reasoning?

‘Why did nobody say anything, then, when I woke up?”

It shrugged.

‘The general consensus was that it wouldn’t be polite to mention the whole time travel thing immediately when you woke up.’

‘Then why are you mentioning it?’

‘I am not polite.’

I snorted with amusement, and I thought that I saw the smallest hint of a smile on its face.

‘You’re right, you aren’t.’
‘But that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.’

‘I’ll let you decide that after I start using your embarrassing time travel memories as blackmail.’

Gurathin was home again. Really home.