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Hesitation

Summary:

For sometimes a moment of inaction is the most profound action of all.

Begins during the final battle between Kylo Ren and Rey. What if Rey considers Kylo Ren's offer to teach her? She has no way of knowing that the briefest of hesitation can change everything.

“I could teach you,” Kylo offers, practically pleading. Rey can feel the hunger in his gaze, his lust for power and control all centered around her. A part of her buried deep within screams for her accession. To give into this man who could give her so much.

Notes:

I can't help shipping these two. This pairing demanded to be written so I was forced to oblige. Enjoy my first foray into Star Wars fanfic. This is just a short little thing but if there is interest and inspiration, more may be forthcoming. As always, may the force be with you. ;)

Updated 2019: I am back! Due to Episode 9's imminent release, I have been inspired to return to this piece. I have charted out the entire story, with a new chapter coming within the next day or so. Thank you so much for all of the support, the kudos and reviews this little fic of mine has garnered over the years since I started it -- it really motivated me to return. I hope you all enjoy. <3

Chapter Text

Their lightsabers are locked together, the beams crossing tightly. Rey is hyper-aware of every hiss of the blade, of the heat emanating from the weapons. Kylo Ren pushes his lightsaber harder against her.

Another hiss of the blade.

She stands her ground. Her arms shaking against the strain of holding back his assault.

Rey senses the chasm opening behind her, can hear the roar of the crust as the surface is slowly collapsing into itself.

She looks into Kylo’s eyes. A mistake. His gaze is a conglomeration of battling emotions, simultaneously intriguing and disgusting her. Determination. Anger. Longing. Dispair. Rey is drawn into his eyes, entranced by the enigma that defines him – this conduit of the dark side who appears to feel so much.

And then the unbelievable happens.

“I could teach you,” Kylo offers, practically pleading. He looks at Rey, and she suddenly has the disconcerting feeling that he isn’t seeing her at all – he is seeing through her. For an instant, she believes that he can actually visualize the energy surging around her. The Force that hums around the pair, both nurturing and destructive. She can feel the hunger in his gaze, his lust for power and control all centered on her.

A part of her buried deep within screams for her accession. To give into this man who could give her so much. He could release her from the past, offer a new future. He could grant her the tools to tap into this unadulterated power that surges around and inside her, to teach her to understand her hidden inner strength.

For a brief moment, Rey can clearly see her future if she concedes to Kylo Ren. In her mind’s eye, she sees herself staring into a looking glass. However, she does not recognize the face staring back. A sadistic smirk rests easily upon her lips. Her demeanor exudes confidence, control. Her eyes shine with a triumphant gleam. She is cloaked in black, a lightsaber hanging naturally around her waist. Although not in use, she knows that it burns a fiery red. A bewitching red. A red that she sees reflected in her eyes, a red that echoes within her very soul. A soul that hums in the darkness, that thrives on depravity. She feels a strong grip around her shoulder. Kylo Ren’s gloved hand. His touch makes her darkened soul sing.

“I could show you the ways of the Force.” His mesmerizing words pull Rey from her unexpected illusion. She is back in the present, her reality consisting of the two blades fighting for power. She hesitates, remembering the confidence she had felt in her vision of the possible future. The control. The independence. Her hesitation costs her more than she could ever know.

The enticing seduction of the dark side whispers in her ear. Rey’s grip on the saber slackens almost imperceptibly, her mind whirling – trying to push away the tempting thoughts.

Rey is suddenly resolute. She does not want to live her life in the shadows. Not with this man, not with this monster.

But it is too late. She has hesitated too long on the brink of indecision.

Kylo instantly takes advantage of her loosened grip, using his leverage to fling the lightsaber from her hands. The world seems to move in slow motion as the hilt lands in the snow.

He turns towards her, looking strangely relieved and exultant. “You have much to learn.” He tells her as he swiftly raises his arm. With a quick flick of his wrist and twirl of his fingers, Rey is once again forced into Force-induced unconsciousness.

He reaches out smoothly to break her fall. Kylo pockets his own saber and reaches one outstretched hand towards the lightsaber nestled in the snow, his other arm supporting Rey. This time, the weapon responds – flying into his greedy hand after a short spout of reluctant shaking. He slips this one in alongside his own.

He readjusts his grip on Rey so that he can cradle her in his arms.

Kylo Ren smirks internally, pleased. He has found himself a student.

Chapter 2: Dreams

Notes:

I went to see The Force Awakens a few more times which inspired me to add on to this fic. I love the idea of Rey going to the dark side so I was trying to explore how that might start to happen in this chapter -- lots of manipulation on behalf of Kylo of course. For the sake of the story, the Force can be used to influence dreams. And I love the idea of Rey and Kylo's minds being somehow connected due to what happened during the interrogation so I utilize that idea as well. Enjoy!

Chapter Text

The slight sound of metal scraping against metal fills the room as Rey scratches a small line on the wall -- marking her twenty third day of captivity. Frustrated, she slips the small piece of metal under her mattress. She had broken the piece from the bed frame but it wasn’t good for much more than helping her keep track of the time she has been imprisoned. She lets out a quiet sigh as she runs her hand over the twenty-three little scratches on the paneling.

Her surroundings shouldn’t even be called a room, it is a cell. The lighting is harsh, the furniture sparse, and the size is cramped.

Rey sits down on the uncomfortable bed with her legs crossed beneath her and closes her eyes in a vain attempt to meditate. Unbeknownst to her, her every action is being monitored by a hidden camera in the room.

Kylo Ren frowns behind his mask as he regards the monitor in front of him. In her almost two dozen days on the ship -- she has attempted to escape six times. Rey has been his student for weeks and yet she still insists on acting as a prisoner. If she would only submit to his commands, he would be fine with relocating her to more comfortable chambers. He was genuine with his offer to teach her, and had even received Supreme Leader Snoke’s approval to do so days before.

His fist clenches at his side, exasperated with the current predicament. Kylo Ren is frustrated with Hux’s incessant mocking about how he is still unable to train his “little scavenger pet.”

And now that he has Snoke’s blessing to teach her -- Kylo knows that he cannot fail unless he wishes to face painful consequences.

As he regards Rey on the screen, sitting so placidly on her bed, a scheme begins to form in his mind. He smirks as the first semblances of a plan start to solidify.

-------

The door to her cell opens with a startling hiss. Rey does her very best to appear unconcerned as she rises from her bed to face the new occupant. Her eyes widen slightly when she recognizes Kylo Ren.

She raises her chin resolutely, glaring at the tall masked man.

“Satisfied?” Kylo Ren inquires, his mask making his voice strangely robotic.

Rey refuses to respond, deciding that silence is her best defense. She has spent days arguing with him and the stormtroopers to no avail.

Kylo tilts his head to the side almost inquisitively, although the expressionless facade offered by his mask makes it hard for Rey to determine his actual emotions.

Long after the silence has become unpleasant, he speaks again. “Follow me.” Kylo Ren states, his tone brooking no argument -- not that Rey pays this any mind.

She ignores his order in protest, not moving to accompany him.

“Rey,” His voice is low, a dangerous edge entering it. He extends his gloved hand towards Rey, surprising her. “Come with me calmly or come handcuffed and escorted by stormtroopers -- it is your choice.”

Rey hesitates briefly, weighing both deplorable options.

Wordlessly, she accepts his outstretched hand. Kylo tightens his grip around her smaller appendage before slowly releasing it and dragging his hand up her arm -- encircling it in his inflexible grip.

Kylo Ren leads Rey from the cell, keeping hold of her to ensure that she doesn’t attempt a foolish escape.The pair arrives in front of a nondescript door that Kylo quickly opens after typing in a code on an adjacent keypad.

He leads Rey into the room, the door closing behind them with a distant whoosh.

“What is this?” Rey finally questions, wrenching herself from the man’s grip.

Kylo walks past her, further into the dwelling. He deliberately faces away from the scavenger. “Your new room.” He informs her simply.

She scrutinizes her surroundings, realizing that they are certainly an improvement from her previous cell. Rey is uneasy, trying to figure out why she is being moved here.

“Why?” She asks before she can stop herself.

Kylo Ren removes his mask before he turns to answer her. Rey steadfastly ignores the way her heart beats faster at the sight of his striking face.

“You are my student, Rey.” He says in an unusually gentle voice, which only makes her more wary. “Not my prisoner, although you prefer to see yourself as such. Regardless, my student will no longer live in a cell.”

“I am not your student!” She responds vehemently.

Kylo observes her silently for a moment. Without warning, he raises his hand -- utilizing the Force to hold Rey in place. Her eyes widen in sudden panic as she struggles against the invisible hold.

He walks to Rey unhurriedly, a spark of anger in his eyes. Kylo leans uncomfortably close to her, his lips next to her ear. “You will be.”

-------

Rey wakes up with a gasp, flinging the black blanket off of her body. She scrambles out of the bed, relishing the feel of the cold floor against her bare feet. The startling cold helping her to regain her bearings.

This is both her fifth night in her new room and her fifth night waking from disturbing, tempting dreams.

She paces the room, her mind revisiting the dream.

Rey is surrounded by darkness, unable to see anything.

A deep, menacing voice fills the void. “Rey...stop fighting it...” It whispers around her, startling her to the core. “Embrace the darkness...” The voice continues to beseech her as the setting changes.

“...feel passion…”

She is in a large field. She looks down to see that the grass around her ankles is not a vibrant green but instead a velvety black -- reflecting the sparkles of the stars above. Disturbingly beautiful. She turns around to find herself in Kylo Ren’s arms. He has a firm grip around her waist and his fathomless dark eyes lock onto hers with an intense look of desire that she knows is reflected within her own. He leans towards her as the vision changes.

“...channel your anger Rey…give into your hatred...”

She is holding a red lightsaber in her hands, defending against two masked combatants wielding sabers of blue. She is enraged, indignant. She slashes harshly at her foes -- striking a killing blow to the one nearest her. As her enemy falls, his mask dissolves to reveal the face of Unkar Plutt. She is joyous to have killed him, the horrible man from Jakku who caused her to always be so hungry.

She faces the other foe, raising her lightsaber aggressively. The blue and red blades clash gratingly and Rey struggles to win. Then, Kylo Ren is fighting beside her -- helping her to push back the opponent. Her enemy lands on the ground, the mask vanishes to reveal Finn’s face.

“Kill him, Rey. Kill the traitor!” Kylo commands her. Without a second thought, she raises her lightsaber to comply. As her red blade arcs downward, the world dissolves into darkness again.

Rey slams her palm against the wall, trying to find a way to release her warring emotions. She had been having variations of the same dream each night, and each time she awoke angry, confused, and concerned.

She can still feel the ghost of Kylo’s touch around her waist as well as the comforting weight of the lightsaber in her hand. She hits the wall again.

She hates herself for having these dreams.

Dreams where she revels in the darkness. Dreams where she welcomes the touch of that monster Kylo Ren. Dreams where she loves the power she has over the red lightsaber. Dreams where she is glad to have killed someone. Dreams where she attempts to kill Finn.

She shudders in her dimly lit room -- afraid of the power of the dark side. And afraid of her unspeakable, latent desire to wield it.

-------

In his own chambers, Kylo Ren has a triumphant gleam in his eyes. After all, dream manipulation isn’t an impossible task with the existing connection between his and Rey’s minds. A few covertly placed thoughts and a susceptible sleeping mind was all that he needed.

Kylo is intrigued by her dreams, fascinated with the way her mind transformed his suggestions about the powers of the dark side. He knows that Rey dreams of being in his arms, of fighting at his side, of killing on his command. The initial idea may have been his -- strengthened with the power of the Force -- but the details were all her own.

He is perversely pleased, knowing that he has found the perfect student. Now he must convince Rey to give into the darkness and then together, they shall be unstoppable.