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Chapter Text

Shin chewed her food with painstaking slowness, each bite causing her stomach to churn as she stared down at the table with vacant eyes. The Medical Droid had told her to eat something; had told her to get something nutritional and then to take the rest of the day to herself. 

She winced against the urge to gag, allowing her fork to drop against the dented metal tray that held the meager meal. She could barely think straight and it didn't help that the remote underground base Hera had them stationed at smelled of dirt and greenery; a scent she was usually unbothered by, although recently, things had seemed to change. It didn't matter that she preferred to remain within the T6 despite being back in her home galaxy, the scent still permeated the atmosphere and it brought her intense discomfort.

With a sigh, she scrubbed at her eyes with the heel of her palm when thoughts of her visit to the Resistance's medical facilities resurfaced. Panic stung the insides of her chest and she shifted in her seat, refusing to look up and around the vacant galley, Ahsoka and Sabine having gone elsewhere for the time being. With a deep breath, she closed her eyes and did her best to steady herself, but found no luck in the endeavor. 

She wished she could just sleep it off, but she knew this situation wasn't going away. She couldn't outrun it or try pushing it under the rug. Either she would have to face it or it would inevitably face her: no way out; no escape. 

After drawing the hood of the cloak Ahsoka had found for her up over her head, she then tugged on the rest of the garment, pulling it tightly around her shoulders, seeking comfort in the soft, worn material. She tried to breathe; to stay calm, but the thoughts in her mind were getting the better of her and it was drawing out the weak points in what had been considered her training. 

The news was shocking all on its own , the repercussions from the implications of her newfound situation would leave deep ridges in the pattern of her life. 

She didn't know how to explain it to anyone, either. Then again, she knew nobody would believe her if she told them that the droid had run five separate scans and every last one of them shone bright with a positive result; a confirmation that there was life within her… 

A child. 

Shin found herself dreading the moment Ahsoka and Sabine returned to the ship. She'd done well enough hiding what few symptoms that had been making themselves known, but now that she was aware of the cause behind her ailments? She wasn't going to be able to hide the way it all made her feel; the tremors in her hands and the fear in her eyes. She wasn't going to be able to shrug it off and convince everyone that she's fine because at the end of the day, she was very far from fine.

It was all so terrifying… 

And she didn't know what to do or how to even begin trying to process all that had been told to her mere hours ago.

She wasn't even sure how the droid’s scans could even be positive. Eight weeks ago she was stranded on Peridea, learning to get along with both Sabine and Ahsoka.

It was impossible, all things considered. The droid was wrong, it had to be… 

and yet something deep in her mind knew that the droid was right. It was a feeling; a paranoid inkling that seemed to coil itself deep in the pit of her stomach and settle there to fester and putrefy because she wasn't sure how to justify it. Too many things were beginning to line up; were beginning to make sense with the diagnosis despite the pure impossibility of it all. 

With her thoughts growing uneasy, she decided she needed to get up and move around, suddenly intensely uncomfortable in her own skin. Without taking a moment to consider her actions, she slid out from behind the round table and gathered up her tray that held the half-eaten rations she'd taken from the base’s small cafeteria, dumped the contents, then dropped the tray into the sonic dishwasher.

Truth be told, nobody needed to understand. It was her problem, after all; her issue to solve. Despite the discomfort at the thought, running was always an option. She didn't like it though... she'd grown fond of the company that surrounded her despite having tried so hard to avoid getting attached to them. In the end, however, she'd failed. 

They didn't need to know that though.

She felt the Force shift when a familiar presence had come near, her mind ripping from her thoughts with painful intensity as the T6’s loading ramp was lowered. She froze, pressing a hand to the durasteel wall to help ground herself as she waited for… Sabine?

Sabine. 

The knot in her stomach tightened, the anxiety she felt urging her to run and hide; to pretend to be asleep so she could avoid any conversation-

The blast doors opened and the Mandalorian entered the space without fanfare. She wore a pair of brown trousers and a dark grey shirt whose sleeves had been cut off, leaving ragged ends and exposed, toned arms. Her skin was unusually pink and despite all that was on Shin's mind, she couldn't help but stare.

That was another thing. 

She wasn't interested in men, at least not in the same way she was interested in Sabine. She wasn't interested in having relations with them like she was with the prospect of having relations with-

Shin sucked in a deep breath and forced the thoughts from her mind, doing all she could to relax as she let her hand fall away from the wall, hoping to seem normal. 

“Oh, hey.” Sabine huffed as she approached the table, dropping a heavy-looking toolbox and a welder’s helmet on the worn surface.

“Where'd you come from?” Shin asked, voice sharp like it always was around Ahsoka's Apprentice. 

“Catching up with Ezra and helping Hera fix some things. She trusts me with a welder.” Sabine sighed as she looked up, pushing a hand through her hair. It had grown shaggy in the months since they'd been stranded and rescued. “How'd your visit to Medical go?” 

It was irritating how nonchalant Sabine was toward her, Shin decided. Her clipped tone and harsh manner no longer seemed to have an effect. 

The question eventually made it past her irritation and Shin couldn't help but straighten. “Fine.” 

Sabine raised an eyebrow. “Did they find anything?” 

“Why does it matter to you?” Shin felt herself sneer, but again, the Mandalorian seemed unphased.

A sigh. 

“You've been sick since before we got back home: I can't help but feel a little bit concerned, especially when you seem healthy enough otherwise. It all feels very unusual.” she shrugged. “But I guess if you're not comfortable talking about it, you don't have to.”

Shin frowned when Sabine turned to flick open the lid to the toolbox. There was no pressure; no one bearing down on her for answers. It wasn't something she was used to and she was having a hard time keeping the emotions out of her eyes. 

“You okay?” Sabine asked into the silence, having glanced over at some point. 

Shin didn't answer. She didn't know how to answer, but she nodded, hoping it would pacify the curiosity even if it was so obviously a lie.

“Well, you know that if there's something seriously wrong, we're all here for you in case you need or want it.” At that, Sabine paused and turned to look more directly at Shin, hands growing still. “You're not… about to die are you?”

Shin scoffed, unable to help the initial reaction or the harsh reply that followed. “I'm not worried about it, so you shouldn't either. Drop it.” She said, hiding her vulnerabilities behind her anger and frustration. She knew that if she didn't, Sabine would pick up on the tender wounds she held within and would question her further.

“Shin.” The Mandalorian’s voice was suddenly hard, harder than anything that was normal for her. The command had the Dark Apprentice straightening, eyes on her immediately. “What did Medical tell you?”

Maybe she could already see through her attempts.

Glancing away, Shin suddenly found herself holding back tears, the weight of the question pressing down on her as it brought her back to her new reality. It didn't last long though, her expression twisting into that of poison, the masseter muscles in her jaw bulging as she clenched her teeth. “Everything's normal for this point in time. I'm not sick and I'm not about to die.” she spoke slowly, each word pronounced with deadly convictions despite the way they trembled. “Now leave me alone about it.”

Unable to bear the situation any longer, she brushed past Sabine and stormed from the room, heading through the pressure door and down the loading ramp…

Or, at least that's what would've happened if Sabine hadn't caught her before she could make her escape, one strong hand wrapped around her bicep. “I'm sorry, Shin… I'm just… I'm worried about you. I didn't mean to pry, I know I said I wouldn't, but…” Sabine let go, a sigh leaving her as she did so.

For reasons unknown, Shin found herself unable to move despite being released, her eyes scanning Sabine's features and finding nothing aside from the truth. Something about that fact seemed to help soothe the chaos within her and she felt some of the tension leave her shoulders. Even when reaching briefly into the Force, she confirmed the lack of falsehoods. It caused… confusion in her.

“Why are you worried about me?” Shin whispered, feeling like she was standing too close and yet also too far. She hadn't moved and neither had Sabine.

The Mandalorian lifted her chin, a proud straightening to her posture as she leaned against the table, hands resting upon the curved edge. She was nearly sitting on it. “Because it would suck if something bad happened to you. You've grown on me a little bit.” She shrugged. “And it's not normal… whatever it is that's going on with you. I mean… it seems like you can't keep anything down and I know you're not sleeping either because I have a hard time with that too. I just find it concerning and the way you're looking at me right now isn't helping.”

Shin had to check herself; had to force her expression to change because the nausea that was growing restless within her seemed to only be growing worse the more Sabine spoke.

“What else have you noticed?” She couldn't help but ask, wanting to know the full extent of how closely Sabine was paying attention.

Appearing slightly surprised by the question, the shorter woman frowned in thought, but nodded. “A lot of things… probably too many. I've been trying to let you have your space. I know all the changes that've happened over the past few months haven't been easy.” She gestured to Shin, then crossed her arms over her chest. “I can't tell what's illness-related in comparison to everything else, if that's what you're asking, unless they're all caused by the same thing. I guess all of it can be stress-induced, though.” 

Feeling self-conscious, Shin tugged on the corners of the cloak she wore, making sure it engulfed the entirety of her person. “You're not wrong… a lot of it is… stress.” She couldn't look Sabine in the eye when she spoke yet another lie, even if it held some semblance of truth. She couldn't help her wince when her stomach flipped.

Growing concerned, Sabine rose to her full height, her hand reaching for Shin's arm like it had before, but stopped, barely touching her this time when she drew near. She was close enough to feel the heat radiating from Shin's bicep, but not close enough to feel the fabric of her cloak. 

“I'm fine.” Shin murmured through clenched teeth as she worked to keep her breathing steady and careful. There wasn't a hint of malice in her tone, the rations sitting too poorly within her to warrant the concealment of her thoughts and emotions. “I, um… I'm going to lay down for a while though.” 

Watching her carefully, Sabine nodded slowly. “Alright… uh, call if you need anything. I'm gonna get cleaned up, but Ahsoka wants me for training later. As always, you're welcome to tag along.” 

With her mind temporarily distracted by the offer, Shin found herself glancing up at the Mandalorian. She nodded once, but couldn't produce more than the expression of the strain that had made its way into the hard lines of her features. Sabine's hand finally pressed against her arm and she found herself relaxing slightly at the touch.

“Thank you.” She sighed. “For the offer.” 

“Yeah, of course. You're one of us now.” Sabine smirked, her fingers tightening in a supportive squeeze before letting go entirely. “Get some rest. I hope you feel better soon.”

Shin stared at her for a long moment, contemplating over the meaningful sentiment before nodding. “Put something on your arms for the flash burns. Wear sleeves next time.”

Sabine smiled at that; a wide and genuine smile. Shin couldn't help but stare at how effortlessly beautiful the Mandalorian could be…

“I promised Hera, I'll promise you the same, now go rest.” Sabine gestured and Shin offered a slight bow along with the nod of acceptance. It was all she left with, because she'd turned to head back into the bunk room without another word.

Chapter Text

“Hey, She's vertical!” Shin heard Sabine say with a smiling voice as she tried rubbing the sleep from her eyes, her footsteps short and clumsy with a lack of coordination.

“Good morning, Shin.” Ahsoka hummed, her tone warm and welcoming.

It took a moment for the words to register within her sleep-fogged mind, but when they did, she stopped. “It's morning?” She hadn't exactly been expecting everyone to be up; her internal sense of time completely gone.

“It is, yes. That being said, come eat breakfast with us.” Ahsoka gestured as Shin pushed a hand through her hair. It had grown in the months since being stranded, leaving centimeters of undyed color on the crown of her head. She would need to cut it soon.

With a sigh, Shin nodded and crossed the distance, wishing she'd let herself lay in bed for a little while to help her mind and body wake up. When she did her best to slide into the rounded bench, the healing muscles under the injuries she'd sustained on Peridea spasmed and she gasped softly, an arm moving to wrap around her torso as she all but dropped into the space next to Sabine.

“It’s fine, I'm fine.” She said quickly, hoping to deter her shipmates from worrying the instant she felt their eyes on her. They all knew about the fatal wound that marked both her stomach and back; about the nomads whose weapons sought to tear and shred rather than slice or cleave. From just above her left kidney to her right hip, her body was nearly separated before it had been tossed into a river of thick, opalescent slime. She could barely remember the rest, her memory vague and insubstantial towards the initial event. Everything else would haunt her for the rest of her days.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, and it pulled her from her thoughts, her gaze shifting to find that it was Sabine, the morning light causing her eyes to seem warmer than usual despite the concern in them.

“I'm alright. I just… didn't stretch at all before getting up.” She nodded, hoping to sound convincing because it was the truth. She let herself lean against the backrest, moving slowly so as to not upset the healing injury.

“Did you have it looked at yesterday? Your wound, I mean.” Sabine asked gently, her hand falling away. 

Yesterday. 

The memories caught up to her, then; of her visit to the Resistance's medical facilities and of everything that had come from that visit. Shin couldn't hide her reaction, the softening of her expression as fear and dread suddenly and aggressively overwhelmed the casual peace she'd been so blissfully enjoying. She clenched her teeth, absently shaking her head.

“No.” she cleared her throat, trying to cover that which she hoped to hide; the inconsistencies that would lead to an investigation for an explanation. 

Despite her efforts, they weren't enough because Sabine had taken notice of her distress; Shin could see it in the expression she wore and in her eyes. “Will you go back?” the Mandalorian asked carefully; treading lightly.

Shin nodded. “I have to.” she shrugged. “I left before the exam was finished.” 

A frown. “Why?” 

After hesitating for what felt like too long, Shin let her shoulders drop with defeat. “Machines.” She answered and was thankful to see the change in Sabine's demeanor as realization dawned on her. While it wasn't the whole truth, Shin had also used the truth to deter the concern: she found droids to be deeply unsettling regardless of how often she had worked with them in the past.

“Shin, I think there are living medical staff here who could help you. Feeling uneasy around droids isn't uncommon.” Ahsoka said calmly as she reached across the table to set a plate laden with food before her. It smelled good. “They might have assigned you a droid for efficiency’s sake. Either that or most living physicians were occupied at the time. To my understanding this base was established for those who need a place to hide or safely recover from their injuries or ailments. That and to train new recruits in a less risky environment.” 

“And if there aren't any living physicians available, I'd be happy to go with you.” Sabine added, a small smile on her lips.

Shin stared at her for a long moment before shaking her head. “I… couldn't ask you to do that.” 

“I'm offering, but if it might make things worse, tell me. I won't insist in that case.” Sabine waved a hand, then gestured. “Eat. You missed dinner last night.” 

“Oh, speaking of dinner, Shin, let me catch you up on everything. There have been a few developments I think you'll be interested in.” Ahsoka chimed in as she carried a plate for herself while balancing two mugs in one hand, a feat which would otherwise be difficult if it weren't for the Force’ assistance.

Straightening, Shin felt her expression darken with concern. The hand that stayed pressed to the healing wound in her torso fell away to help her readjust her posture as she sat further upright. “Bad things?”

“Oh, no. No, nothing too severe.” Ahsoka said as she set the plate down and pushed one of the mugs of tea across the table to Shin, who slowly pulled it closer to her, claiming it as her own. She whispered her thanks and lifted it to take a sip, the soft whirring of the mechanical prosthetic of her left arm and hand filling the small silence as she brought the mug to her lips. 

“Hera has secured long-term lodging for us. At the moment, it's only two rooms, two bunks each, so we'll have to share until more space opens up.” The former Jedi said casually as she settled into her own place across from them, gathering up her fork to begin her meal. It reminded Shin that she needed to eat something whether she liked it or not.

“Have you given any thought to room assignments?” Sabine asked around a mouthful of food, an eyebrow raised in question or suspicion. 

“I have and I've come to a conclusion on the matter.” Ahsoka hummed. “Huyang and myself in one, you and Shin in the other. Hera is working on… using an extension of the truth to help us with the legalities of all that happened on Peridea. Giving the illusion that you both have been under my tutelage for quite some time will possibly improve our chances of receiving a more mild… verdict of criminal offense-”

“Why?” Shin stated, her gaze growing hard. “What will this do to help anything?”

Ahsoka smiled and nodded. “If I can say you've been my apprentice long enough, your part in Thrawn's return is minimized, not that you had much of one to begin with. If you're associated with me, I can vouch for you. That goes for both you and Sabine. Hera will vouch for all of us, of course, but it always helps. The goal now is to convince as many people as possible of our dynamic so what we say appears as the truth. Sharing rooms in an assignment like this simply makes sense with everything considered.”

“I think Shin should be required to join our training sessions.” Sabine announced with a smirk that spelled nothing but mischief.

“With you? I'm not doing that.” Shin replied as she looked over at the Mandalorian, voice flat and nearly spiteful.

“C’mon, why not? It'll be fun.” Sabine reached over and- before Shin could react in any substantial proportion- tucked a strand of mostly-blonde hair behind her ear, then turned away to give her attention back to Ahsoka.

“I will spend time with you both individually or together once we determine who is comfortable with what. For now, we'll be meeting with Hera to see where we'll be staying and to make adjustments as needed.” Ahsoka continued, appearing as though she was resisting the urge to reprimand Sabine for her antics. What caused the hesitation to act on the inclination would forever remain a mystery to Shin, however.

“When are we to meet with General Syndulla?” she asked, hoping the warmth that had risen to her cheeks wasn't as visible as she expected. She could never tell if Sabine was simply trying to get under her skin or if there was anything more to it and that frustrated her. It was most likely nothing more than psychological warfare, though.

“In a little under two hours, so we have time to prepare ourselves for the day.” The Togruta nodded as she took a bite of her food. 

“Oh, that reminds me,” Sabine said rather suddenly. “I found dye yesterday.” 

When both Shin and Ahsoka shared a look of confusion, the Mandalorian continued. “For hair. I was going to ask Shin if she wanted to recolor her hair.”

“I'd rather not look like tropical plumage, but thank you.” Shin replied, her voice edging towards sarcasm.

“Who said anything about loud colors?” Sabine raised an eyebrow. 

“It's you.” 

The grin widened as she gestured to herself with her fork. “Me?” 

Shin huffed a sigh, resisting the urge to roll her eyes before taking another bite of food.

“Okay, fine, understood, but no; I don't have any good colors to my disposal. Just natural tones.” she eyed Shin more carefully then, allowing her gaze to sweep over what felt like everything. “I might have something that could match your natural hair color.”

“I'd rather look completely different.” Shin said reluctantly, unsure about where the conversation was going. With Sabine, she couldn't always tell or predict the way topics evolved or devolved as they spoke. 

“So it's a yes?” Sabine asked, straightening with surprise. 

“No.” 

“Why not?” 

Shin felt her jaw tighten, the pressure on her teeth increasing. The answer was no because she didn't want to indulge the primitive side of her that simply craved Sabine's touch. She couldn't let herself have that. 

… It'd be wrong… 

And in far more ways than one.

“I'm going to cut it.” she said slowly. Even still, her words surprised her. She hadn't quite considered the prospect before; not in recent years, at least. Even Sabine straightened with surprise of her own, clearly not expecting the reply that came.

“Is that so?” There was a hint of suspicion in her tone, but Shin nodded anyway.

“One of the best ways of convincing people you've changed is to show a physical change in addition to everything else. If I look different…” her voice faded as images of herself only months from now flashed through her mind and she shied away from finishing her statement. 

“Shin.” Ahsoka hummed gently. “While your logic is sound, make sure you're not trying to change too quickly. A lot has happened in recent times. Leave yourself room to adjust.” 

All she could do was sigh and stare down at her plate; at the table and the minor scratches that littered the surface. How many people before her sat at this table; in this place? 

“I know.” She said with resignation as she finally looked up to meet Ahsoka's gaze. “But I'm also trying to avoid penalization. I don't want to be locked up somewhere.” 

“You won't.” Ahsoka replied firmly. “I'll be sure of it and so will Hera.”

“And the other friends in high places.” Sabine smirked, then turned to Shin. “We've been through this a ton of times. We always get out mostly unscathed and this time is no different. We're practically professionals at this point.” She said confidently. “Which reminds me, I need to get dressed.”

“Me too.” Shin added rather quickly, hoping to get out of the conversation. It was all starting to be too much this early in the morning. After all, she hadn't been awake for long, having slept for more than twelve hours, which was admittedly unusual. With careful movements, she slid out from behind the table and stood, stepping to the side to leave space for Sabine to do the same. Unwilling to let her hands remain idle, she gathered her plate up along with her fork and mug, bringing them close.

Sabine thanked her and gently touched the middle of her upper back, allowing her hand to trace her movement as she passed by wordlessly, the gesture meant to indicate where she was without saying anything about it. 

Shin watched her leave to clean her dishes and shifted her weight to follow, but the bright blue eyes on her had her hesitating seemingly long before Ahsoka's words followed. 

“Hold on a moment, Shin.”

With hesitation, she turned back to let her gaze meet the older woman's, suddenly feeling uneasy. She retook her seat when Ahsoka gestured for her to do so.

“Have I done something?” She asked, hoping to keep the growing anxiety out of her voice, but she knew she'd failed. Despite Ahsoka's kindness, her knowledge and prowess alone were intimidating. It reminded her of Baylan sometimes, and that was still a sore topic to even so much as think about.

“Not at all. You just seem a little bit distracted this morning and I wanted to ask if you were alright without an audience present.” Ahsoka replied gently as she lifted her mug to her lips and drank. Shin watched her for a moment before allowing her gaze to fall back to the table while she considered her next steps. Part of her wanted to tell Ahsoka everything, but the stronger, more urgent part of her screamed at her to withhold the information just for a little longer. At least… long enough to have a scan done to substantially confirm the medical droid’s tests. That and she didn't want to talk about any of it. Admitting it aloud would help make it real and she knew she wasn't ready for that; perfectly content to remain within the vacuum of the in-between.

“There is… something wrong.” She spoke softly, hoping nobody else would hear. “But I'm not ready to talk about it. I don't… understand yet, though I have a feeling that I might if I could sit with it for some time.”

Concern had Ahsoka straightening, but she showed no more reaction than that, her demeanor calm as still water. “Are you at least safe and healthy?” 

Shin nodded, then shrugged, never glancing up. “As best as I can be.” 

“Good.” Ahsoka hummed, then reached across the table, holding her hand out, palm to the ceiling and fingers outstretched. “I'm here for anything you need, no matter how big or small.”

After a moment of deliberation, Shin found herself reaching too, seeking the comfort of a hand to hold. Warmth bloomed in her chest in response to the contact, unused to the solace of having someone to confide in if needed; someone who she could trust or lean on for support. 

The warmth soured the moment she remembered the things Baylan fought so hard to instill in her; the things that would make her believe that it was necessary to not need anyone in order to be strong. Her fingers tightened around Ahsoka's hand, not wanting to let go but fighting to depart because attachments would only lead to pain and suffering. 

Regardless, it was only a matter of time before these people here with her now would abandon her entirely. 

“Shin.” Ahsoka said gently, waiting for the young woman to finally look up at her and it was only then that she continued. “I'm not going anywhere. You have my word. I know that trust takes time, but allow me to do all I can to help build that bridge with you.”

Startled, Shin felt her eyes widen, but she calmed with the reassurance that perhaps she hadn't been so diligent with controlling the ripples her emotions sent through the Force, initially worried that Ahsoka had been in her mind without notice or warning. A slow nod was all she could manage before she let go, pulling her arm back, nestling her hands together in her lap, folded neatly yet restlessly as she studied the Togruta's familiar features. 

“Thank you… Master Tano.” She said quietly, then watched the smile that spread across Ahsoka's lips at the never-faltering and consistent use of the honorific.

“Always, Shin. Any time.” She gestured. “You're welcome to stay here at the table with me or you don't have to, the choice is yours. I don't want to hold you here for too long though; I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing.” 

Shin nodded, then sighed quietly to herself. She wanted to get up and get ready for the day, but she also didn't want to get in Sabine's way.

Ultimately, she stayed, choosing to finish what remained on her plate because for what felt like the first time in centuries, she could eat without the ever-present discomfort that was the common nausea. The tea Ahsoka had given her also seemed to be helping, the soothing scent of spice proving… beneficial. It wouldn't be surprising if the tea had been chosen as something that could potentially ease her suffering. Either way, she'd finished all that was given to her and the nourishment felt good. It helped ease the shakiness that she didn't realize had since burrowed its way into her bones. It was a small relief.

Once finished, she carefully left the table to clean her dishes, padding through the ship on silent feet. Ahsoka didn't follow her, and it was in the kitchen that she was able to share a private moment with her thoughts just before the loud singing coming from the refresher floated through the air. She couldn't help the slight curve to her lips. Despite the teasing, she'd grown fond of Sabine and her unique personality. The playfulness made her feel like she wasn't seen as an outsider; a stranger , and it had helped her find a reprieve from the heaviness within her current life. 

If only those feelings were purely her own…

Massaging her temple, Shin headed back towards the bunk room to get ready for the day and whatever it might hold. 

Chapter Text

Jacen Syndulla took after his father in just about as many ways as he took after his mother. With all things considered, it was to be expected but Sabine still found herself feeling proud of him. He was a good kid after all; a kid quickly growing into an adult- or maybe that was just her mind playing tricks on her…

Maybe it was because of all the questions he'd assaulted Huyang with very soon after the six of them had converged. Thankfully, the old droid didn't mind, although it was clear Hera had begun to worry that her son's behavior was becoming a bother. Every now and then, she'd look back at them despite her ongoing conversation with Ahsoka. Sabine guessed it was simply a habit formed from raising a kid. Then again, Hera and Kanan had practically raised her too , or at least helped her into adulthood. 

She suddenly felt the all too familiar pinch of guilt that tugged at her ribs. After everything… she had quickly become a recluse, abandoning everyone she loved and cared for and sooner or later, her whole family had drifted apart.

Jacen’s laughter pulled her back to the present, allowing her to bathe in the reunion that was long overdue. Most of her family was here; complete, and in the flesh. She knew should use this opportunity to make amends and build back what was once lost a decade ago, although now that she was nurturing a connection with the Force… 

She felt so different. Would they see her differently now too?

Pushing her thoughts to the side, she turned to her left to look over at Shin who also seemed distant and distracted, silver eyes locked onto the ground that passed under her feet. It was growing ever clearer that whatever was occupying her mind happened to be significantly darker than what Sabine had been entertaining. What those thoughts happened to be of would forever elude her until she was told of them, if that day ever came. It felt unlikely seeing as how private Shin naturally was, but then again, people could change or at least open themselves further upon the structure of trust.

Unable to stop herself, she reached up and laid a hand between Shin's shoulder blades, keeping her touch light and gentle in case it wasn't welcome. On her end though, initiating physical contact with the darker apprentice was becoming something of a self serving habit. She could feel the Force in greater proportions too, sensing so much more through even the smallest form of contact with Shin. It didn't make any sense to her, but it was enough of an excuse to maintain the gesture for as long as Shin would allow it…

Or until the ticking started, which usually didn't take long at all, the rapid rhythm quick to manifest. Sabine wasn't sure what that was either, and while she could make her guesses, she didn't want to accidentally pry into something she shouldn't. In all honesty, the sound reminded her of the hasty mechanical tick of a countdown clock on a detonator, which made her believe that perhaps Shin was missing more than just her left arm. Could the Force even tell her something like that? 

She pulled away slowly, reluctant to sever the contact but did so anyway, hoping to not have overstayed her welcome. She didn't know if it was even welcome in the first place, but she hadn't been brushed off either so she supposed it was alright. What she found the most strange though, was the lack of acknowledgement. Usually whenever Sabine initiated contact, the younger woman would respond in some form or fashion. This time though, she'd barely moved a muscle.

“Shin.” she said quietly, growing concerned. The one in question looked over, gaze dull and full of unamusement.

“What?” The reply was sharp and sat just about as comfortably as a round peg in a square hole. She sounded exactly as inconvenienced as she looked. 

“Just checking on you.” Sabine said pointedly, trying not to match the tone but failing to some small degree.

Appearing as though momentarily contemplating over a response, Shin simply huffed and turned back to staring at the ground, clearly not fond of the idea of conversation.

Unable to resist intentionally not taking the hint, Sabine reached over and threaded her fingers through Shin's, then tightened her hold, locking their hands together. She didn't say a word, wondering how long it would take before there was any sort of protest, but began growing a touch concerned when none came. Shin always reacted to her antics. Always. Regardless, Sabine remained firm as they walked in silence, keeping her eyes forward as she turned her attention back to watching Huyang and Jacen, who remained in entertaining conversation. 

The casual peace didn't last long seeing as the ticking that accompanied the contact was quick to manifest and echo deep within Sabine's mental ears, but she still didn't pull away. She knew Shin might be able to sense her efforts if she gave into the urge to try rooting out the cause of the phantom noise, and that wouldn't be good. Instead she tried listening to the replies Huyang provided to the questions Jacen asked, which were somewhat random in nature. 

Just as she was close to fully distracting herself from the pull towards seeking the answers to the unknown, she felt her arm move without her active intention. Turning, she noticed Shin staring down at their joined hands, a haunted look about her as she appeared to try making sense of how they'd ended up like this, eyes scanning the way Sabine's fingers were locked between her own.

“Why are you touching me?” She asked, voice a monotone. 

Surprised by the choice in words that formed the question, Sabine's eyebrows raised a fraction. “It felt like the right thing to do.” She shrugged, then frowned. “You seem… a little bit off today.”

“I don't need your pity.” Shin grumbled, allowing their hands to fall back to their natural resting state before letting go. 

Sabine made it a point to hold on for a moment longer, but eventually relinquished her grip. “Who said it has anything to do with pity?” she asked, looking over to find that same empty stare returned to watching the ground below. “I'd rather call it curiosity.”

It took a moment for the words to register in Shin's mind, but when they did, she frowned. “What are you doing?” Her tone was dark and unyielding.

It was Sabine's turn to feel confused, but then again, Shin was a confusing person by nature; she figured she ought to be used to it by now. “I was just holding your hand because you look like something very not good is on your mind. Can you blame me for doing my best to offer comfort?”

“Don't waste your energy. It's not worth it.” Shin huffed, turning away slightly. It was enough to push Sabine over the edge though, because she didn't waste any time pulling them both to a stop. 

“What makes you think that?” The words came out much harsher than she had anticipated, the inquiry sounding more like a demand for answers than a genuine question. Shin couldn't look at her, eyes like liquid metal as she fought to keep her emotions in check. 

With a sharp jerk, the dark apprentice shrugged Sabine's hand from her arm. “I'm fine and you're trying to insert yourself into situations that aren't your own. Now leave it. ”

“No.” Sabine replied just as quickly as Shin had finished speaking, turning to face her directly, arms now folded across her chest. “No, I won't.”

“Why?” Shin growled, countenance twisting with anger.

“Reasons.” narrowing her eyes, Sabine stared directly at the taller woman, who scoffed. “But you wouldn't listen to me even if I did tell you what was on my mind; if I told you why.” 

Shin leaned in closer, expression dangerously alight with the challenge. “And if I did?” 

“You'd dismiss it.” Sabine huffed, then pressed her hand flat against Shin's chest, but added no pressure of her own to it. She could feel the dark padawan's steady and strong heart beat beneath her palm and she had to resist allowing herself to linger for too long, even if the gesture was meant to be a warning. She felt Shin lean into it slightly, bright eyes dark with the desire to encourage conflict.

“What's going on over here?” Ahsoka's firm voice cut in, both apprentices turning to find the Togruta approaching them.

“Nothing.” Shin said quietly, drawing back. Her hands instantly found the hem of her black tunic to straighten it.

Ahsoka's gaze turned to Sabine, who hadn't given a reason. The Mandalorian looked up at Shin, then back to her Master before shaking her head. “Just a difference of opinion.” 

The former Jedi didn't buy it for a moment, but anyone could tell she was too focused on too many other things to give much attention to a squabble that didn't feel very serious. With a sigh, she relented. “I need both of you to behave yourselves. We're guests in this facility regardless of who we are to the ones who are in charge. If you need to work out your differences, it's important that you do so, but now is not the time or place. Am I understood?”

“Yes, Master Tano.” Shin was the first to answer, ever respectful and soft-spoken with how she addressed those she deemed her superiors. 

“Mhm.” Sabine nodded, hoping to at least seem a little bit chastised.

“Good. Now come on. We have things to do.” Ahsoka gestured and turned, then walked past Huyang and Jacen to retake her place beside Hera. 

Turning without looking back to check on the dark individual who now stood behind her, Sabine started forward with the rest of their group, trying to ignore the heavy weight of the Force as it pressed down on her. Like most times in recent history, she wasn't sure if Shin was aware she was projecting her emotions outward or even if the other Force sensitives around could experience such a phenomenon in the same way. Regardless, they'd made a scene and the best thing she could do now was try to keep her head down. 

“Sabine?” A young voice asked, breaking her from her thoughts and she looked down to find that Jacen had matched her pace. 

“Yeah?” She couldn't help sounding surprised. She hadn't been expecting to become involved in conversation so soon after the argument. 

“Would you teach me how to draw?” He asked casually and Sabine instantly found herself smiling.

“Of course I can. It's not too hard. I think the hardest part is figuring out how you like to draw. Well, that and technique.” She reached over and scrubbed her hand in his hair, tousling it so it stuck up in every direction. 

“Can Shin come?” He asked, the question finding itself sitting unexpectedly within Sabine's mind. The two had barely interacted with each other.

“I don't see why not. You'll have to ask her though.” She said, then watched as Jacen nodded and turned to look back, then as he slowed so he was soon to be walking next to Shin. She had to suppress her smile at Shin's sudden look of discomfort, wondering if her fellow apprentice had any experience interacting with kids or teenagers or really anyone younger than she was. 

“Shin, would you like to learn how to draw with Sabine and myself?” Jacen asked confidently in a tone not so unlike Hera's. 

Briefly, Shin looked up, their gazes meeting before glancing back down at the boy. Sabine couldn't tell what hidden meaning she was missing, but something was certainly there.

“I'll think about it.” Shin answered eventually, although her voice sounded odd and somewhat strained, which didn't help deter any of the concern Sabine still held for her. 

“Mmh, alright. You should let Sabine know if you decide you want to come or not.” He held out his left hand for her to shake and she stared at it for a moment before deciding to accept the friendly gesture. She hesitated before fully committing to it though, frowning down at the cloth-covered prosthetic when it seemed to either malfunction, cause her pain, or both. She instead sighed quietly to herself when she decided she needed to change tactics, offering her right instead. Jacen smiled when they finally shook hands, although all Sabine could think about was the way the Force felt as it twisted and warped around Shin. She wondered if Jacen could feel it too.

Something ahead of them caught her attention and she turned to find that their party had come to a stop. Upon a brief inspection, she realized that they'd arrived and that Hera was introducing them to where they'd be staying. Sabine quickly found herself smiling at the relatively cozy nature of the corridor that brought them here. It seemed that despite the opposition, the natural vegetation of the forest above had infiltrated the base through either cracks in the stone it had been carved out of or via other means. Lush vines crawled along the walls and Durasteel supports, the lights around them seeming to mimic daytime well enough to encourage healthy growth. 

It was only then that she realized she hadn't been paying attention to how exactly they'd gotten here. Oh well. Maybe Shin knew, but something in her also knew that Shin wasn't exactly living in the present, so she doubted the prospect. She turned back to lay eyes on the dark apprentice, but flinched slightly when she realized that Shin was now standing next to her. How she hadn't noticed, Sabine wasn't sure, but the unamused look she received felt less harsh than she was expecting. 

“Y'know what?” Sabine said quietly, ignoring how Hera had broken off to introduce Ahsoka and Huyang to their quarters. Shin simply raised an eyebrow and she took that as acknowledgement enough. “I don't understand how you're able to be so silent that I can't hear you move.” 

“The Force.” Shin answered bluntly and Sabine straightened, not expecting such a direct and honest answer. “It's a relatively basic concept.” 

“You know just as well as I do how untrained I happen to be. Anything you consider basic is advanced to me.” Sabine said, crossing her arms over her chest as she watched Shin purse her lips.

“Textiles naturally make sound when they move. If you can learn how to restrict that free movement, you'll become significantly less noisy.” Shin raised her eyebrow again. “I’d think that even with the assistance of the Force, you'd still sound like a Wampa crashing through dry leaves.” 

Sabine almost felt her jaw drop in surprise at the mild insult and it took her a second to process what had just been said to her. “Oh is that so?” She replied, a smirk causing her eyes to brighten with mischief. “And if I were to take all of my clothes off and use the Force to make myself quieter, do you still think I'd sound like a Wampa crashing through dry leaves?”

Shin stiffened, eyes widening slightly as she reddened slightly, the soft pink hue making its way across her cheeks. “Why would you want to do that ?” 

“It's a hypothetical.” Sabine said gently, her gaze growing soft at the sight of the blush that had since undoubtedly spread to the tips of Shin's ears.

“Then no , unless your constant need for conversation compels you.” 

She almost snorted at the sophisticated-feeling reply. “Ah, I see. Very astute.” 

Shin simply rolled her eyes and turned her attention to Hera, who was leaning casually against the doorway as she watched her friends inspect the new room they'd been provided. Jacen was by her side again, at some point having moved around them to allow them the privacy to speak. 

It was almost as if Hera could feel the eyes on her, because she turned to them and smiled. “Shin, Sabine. Your turn.” she called after making the assessment that their conversation had faded, then gestured for them to follow. 

Pushing off from the door frame, the Twi’lek moved down the hall aways and unlocked what was to be their room. The entrance slid open with a quiet hiss that Sabine could hear as she and the taller woman beside her drew closer.

“I did my best to find a place with two separate bedrooms, but this is the closest I could manage.”

“Whatever you've set up will be more than enough.” Sabine said confidently before she was anywhere near the entrance. “We got along alright on the T6 and you know the sleeping situation with that.”

“Yes, and you know that I'd much rather you both be comfortable while you're here.” Hera replied pointedly, then looked over at Shin, who’d remained quiet and a few steps behind Sabine. 

“Do you by chance have a map of this base?” Shin asked in a polite manner, shoulders tense and eyes open a touch more than usual. 

“I do, actually. Thank you for reminding me.” Hera said as she reached into a pocket within the jacket she wore to produce several small oval-shaped projectors. She handed one to Shin and one to Sabine, then powered up the one left within her grasp. “In case either of you didn't know, we've settled within a canyon. That being said, this base isn't exactly wide, but it is deep, therefore you'll have to be mindful as to which level you're on.”

“What floor are we on now?” Sabine asked, eyes dancing across the blue-hued projection.

“Twelve, or, eight levels from the surface. Because we are continuing to expand, these numbers are subject to change, but that is a slow process and you'll be made aware well in advance.” 

Glancing over at Shin for a moment and hoping not to have been caught, Sabine felt a question rise up in her mind. “Where's Medical in relation to where we are now?”

“It depends on the unit you're looking for.” Without pause, Hera accessed the map's legend to help her pull up what she wanted to know and soon the results were displayed for anyone to see. “Surgical resides on the first floor, Intensive Care is on the second, the Burns Center is on the third, Maternity: fourth, Infection: fifth…” Hera smiled and waved a hand. “Most of the floors here are practice-specialized and dedicated to something specific. Even if the whole floor isn't being used for medical reasons, the rest of it contains recovery rooms, just like these.” She gestured to the open door that would take them into what would become their living quarters.

Sabine frowned though, an item on all that Hera had listed catching her attention, but she didn't say anything… until Hera noticed and asked.

“Are you… looking for something specific?” 

Shaking her head, Sabine looked up from the map. “Nothing in particular, although… a Maternity unit? I thought all of this was for battle-related recovery.” 

Hera nodded, eyes kind. “You'd be surprised.” 

Just then, Sabine felt a phantom chill run down her spine and a talon-like grip clamp down around her neck. Her frown resurfaced as she made an attempt to decipher the unexpected and unpleasant sensations. It only took the faintest of efforts to understand that whatever she was feeling was residual from the woman beside her. She couldn't help but look over, her gaze slowly and hesitantly crawling up to Shin. 

“Huh. I wouldn't have guessed. Better to be prepared than not.” She said casually, attention still on Shin, who didn't move a muscle; her whole body locked with tension as she stared vacantly at the map in Hera’s hands, obviously hoping to not be noticed. The discomfort didn't fade from Sabine's back or neck, and she was well aware that the afflictions weren't her own doing but rather something Shin was experiencing. With reluctance, she turned back to Hera, who also appeared mildly concerned by the shift in the atmosphere between the three of them. 

“For now though, that's all the questions I have, I think. Shin, is there anything you want to add?” Sabine asked as normally as she could, hoping to conceal her once again growing concern.

Moving as though trying to hide the fact that she'd been startled from her thoughts, Shin simply shook her head. “No, I don't.”

Hera nodded once. “Alright, well if you two need anything, feel free to ask. The codes for your room are attached to the map, so keep them close.”

“Will do. Thank you, Hera.” Sabine said with a nod and a shared look of understanding.

“Of course. Now, you kids be good.” the Twi'lek gestured, bidding them farewell.

“No promises.” Sabine grinned, earning herself a chuckle. 

Without much pause, she took hold of Shin's wrist and guided her through the threshold, allowing the door to slide shut behind them. 

Chapter Text

Sabine didn't hold onto Shin for long after the door had slid shut behind them, knowing and understanding that she ought to provide the space they both needed before it was taken with force. She took a step back and met the wide-eyed stare that was on her, her chest filling with concern as emotions that weren't her own slammed into her with a severity she hadn't experienced before. She rubbed her left collarbone, a gesture made to hopefully help soothe the turmoil, but to no avail. 

“What's going on?” Sabine managed to keep her tone calm and even despite the numerous directions she felt like she was being pulled in. 

Shin's gaze fell to the stone floor, suddenly appearing… guilty? 

Examining the influx of information, Sabine frowned upon discovering that no, it wasn't guilt; it was shame.  

“What do you mean?” Shin asked to the ground, expression assuming the familiar mask of anger, although the effort felt half-hearted. 

“I'm talking about you .” Although she managed to uphold her form of speech, Sabine's concern and impatience were beginning to break through. She took a deep breath and tried to settle her nerves, but it didn't work as well as she'd hoped, feeling anger override her attempts. “I can assume all I want and you can keep whatever you want from me.” She pointed a finger at the woman across from her with as much conviction as she could manage. “I know you don't owe me anything, but if we're to share the same living space, I'd at least like you to be honest with me about whatever it is that's wrong with you.”

Shrinking back at being scolded, Shin turned her head slightly to the side, but still didn't look up. “What do you want me to say?” Her voice was kept dark and quiet, although the weight of her own emotions had already started causing a collapse in her composure. 

Sabine clenched her teeth and sighed, forcing herself to take a moment to develop a reply that wouldn't sound too harsh. “Shin… look, I can feel your emotions without trying to.” She began slowly, pacing herself. “And out there while talking with Hera about the fourth floor, you reacted in a way that concerns me. I try to keep to myself and let you have the privacy that you're owed, but this was bad and I can't ignore it.”

“Well, I'm fine.” Shin snapped, her galvanized gaze appearing liquid in the light that shone through the windows on the other side of the rather spacious room. “And you're right, I don't owe you anything.” she hissed, her own anger flaring. 

Sabine's eyes narrowed as she absently reached up to feel the scar Shin's saber had left behind through the dark blue shirt she was wearing. It pulled from time to time, its healing process not yet complete. “Will you at least talk to me?”

“About what? ” the other apprentice answered sharply, although she was standing unnaturally still, shoulders rigid in a posture Sabine knew meant she wanted conflict.

It was a dare .

Knowing she wasn't going to get anywhere with the way things currently were, Sabine sighed and brushed past Shin to start towards what she soon recognized was the kitchen. It didn't matter what direction she chose, so long as it put some distance between them. Still, she could feel Shin's surprise at the unexpected interruption in their argument as well as the intense gaze that appeared and remained on her back. 

“Where are you going?” The taller of the two said bitterly, lip curled in a half snarl.

“I don't understand why you're so insistent on denying whatever's bothering you.” Sabine answered instead as she strode into the cooking space with purpose. She then began going through all of the hidden cabinets in search of a cup, pressing each and every activation button located above the opening. “I'm trying to be here for you; to show you that I'm concerned for your well-being, that I'm worried, and that I've noticed. I know we started off on opposite sides of the fence, but a lot has happened since then.” It was within the cabinets above that she found a set of dinged metal cups, and upon discovering them, pulled two of them down. “I think that qualifies us to no longer be on opposite sides of the fence.” She finished as she turned to find that Shin had followed her into the kitchen, but that she'd also chosen to keep her distance. 

“While I agree with your last statement, I don't understand why you're so invested in my well-being.” The vestiges of anger remained in Shin's posture and gaze, but her tone was softer than before.

And there was the question Sabine knew she had to answer because it wasn't just her fault for wanting to show care and compassion. Memories of the cool-hued crystals that protruded from every corner of the geode-like cavern flashed through her mind. The image of the iridescent river surfaced, its slow-moving current streaked with red from the injuries Shin had been dealt. She could see it then; the way the dark apprentice looked, bright hair matted with red ichor, eyes half lidded and lacking the brightness of consciousness. Her body had been bound to the river's floor with roots, although she'd been left sitting upright, her head exposed to the noxious air above the surface. 

With a relenting sigh, she pointed to the tall counter that overlooked the kitchen, the two walls creating the valley in which Sabine was standing, each holding plenty of working space and appliances to cook a full meal. “Sit. This is a long story and it has to do with the cave I found you in.” 

Shin straightened, anger evaporating into concern of her own, but she did as she was told and rounded the corner to then sit upon one of the chairs that were tucked up under the countertop. In the meantime, Sabine filled the cups with water from the filtered dispenser embedded in the wall, then crossed the space and set one of them before Shin.

“Did you meet Solivarn?” 

Shin frowned and shook her head, confused. “Who?”

“Uh, the stone being that lived in the cave; y'know, the one with all the purple and blue crystals on the walls and floor.” Sabine leaned against the opposite counter and took a sip of the cool water she'd just poured for herself. “He was made entirely from the same crystals and he didn't have a face.”

Shin let her gaze fall as she tried to find familiarity in what Sabine was talking about. “I don't remember a lot of what happened while I was there. I still don't know exactly what you're talking about but, continue.”

A small nod was Sabine's acknowledgement. “Solivarn didn't speak Basic, so we ended up having to communicate through the impressions of emotion. I can't tell you if it was he who called me to the cave or if it was you, but at this point, it doesn't matter. I would've come either way.” She shrugged, allowing her thumb to explore one of the many small dents in the old cup she held. It looked as though it'd seen the face of battle. “I couldn't understand what he tried to tell me in terms of why you were sitting in the river I found you in or what caused your injuries or even how long you'd been there. I suppose that doesn't matter much either in the grand scheme of things because you're okay now, but still. Anyway, Solivarn’s existence, I think, has something to do with Dathomirian magic. His origins were of that make, or maybe he does embody the form of power Dathomirian witches use. That I don't understand either, but he refused to let you die because he could tell at least one of your parents were from Dathomir or that maybe you come from a prominent Dathomirian family. Maybe you simply looked like someone he knew. Again, we were communicating through emotions so the translation might be a little wrong, I don't know.” She looked up to measure the expression Shin wore, which seemed caught between concern, confusion, and… fear. 

The dark apprentice suddenly seemed deeply focused on the pattern within the material of the countertop. It appeared she was trying to process her reply in a way that wouldn't break her composure or give too much away . “My… mother was a practitioner.” 

Sabine nodded slightly, now knowing at least one of her interpretations were at least a little bit correct. “Then that's the reason Solivarn was afraid to let you die.” She hummed. “He didn't realize it at first, I think, but when he tried to heal you, there wasn't enough of you there to… put back together and he wasn't sure how to reconstruct what was missing either. That's why he asked me if I'd serve as his genetic template and also to offer what I could spare to aid in your recovery. I, of course, agreed and gave him my permission, then he did what he could to fix you. Once he felt it was safe enough to let me leave with you, I did and I brought you back to the T6.” she reached up and ran her fingers through her hair. “Ever since then though, I feel… pulled to you, if that makes sense. What's even weirder is that when I touch you, that never ending battle between the light and dark sides of the Force seem to quiet down. I can feel your emotions whether I want to or not. It's little things like that, and I know it's invasive and intrusive and I'm trying to stop it or at least learn to avoid it, but-” 

Interrupted by stool legs screeching across the floor, Sabine got only the briefest of glances at Shin's expression before she shoved out of her seat and fled in a rush. She barely had time to consider what had caused such a reaction before seeing Shin quickly search, find, and enter the single Refresher on the other end of the apartment and it was at that moment Sabine had recognized the all-too-familiar set of events. Just as expected, she could feel the panicked discomfort that let her know Shin had fled to lose her breakfast. 

She sighed at the sudden and loud silence.

“Idiot.” She mumbled to herself as she pushed off of the counter and set her cup aside.

Looking around, Sabine finally gave herself the opportunity to take in all the room had to offer, which felt… extravagant compared to what she was used to. 

Fluent with gentle curves instead of edges, the space was rather oval shaped, the kitchen being on one of the far ends of the room. Two wide windows were carved into the stone, support beams lining the walls above them to make the cavernous apartment safe to reside. The dark gray Durasteel blended well with the bare stone, the combination feeling rather natural despite being somewhat man-made. Along the wall opposite to her sat two alcoves shuttered with a multitude of stretched fabric panels to help soften the hard nature of everything else. Beyond the short walls that segregated each, Sabine couldn't see past the hanging fabric that covered the unusually wide doorways, but she knew they were sleeping quarters based on their size and general style. In the center of the room sat a long couch and two plush chairs which surrounded a holoprojector for entertainment. 

It was… nice ; certainly big enough for two people to live comfortably and to have their own spaces to do what they pleased. 

In contrast, the awfully painful sounds that had managed to slip past the Refresher door had Sabine's attention right away. It seemed as though she'd subconsciously wandered closer, which she felt wasn't particularly unusual given the circumstances. While she knew that she should keep her distance, the deepening ache in her chest to help; to fix it was growing worse. 

She knew she shouldn't add to the stress that must be lending a hand to the way Shin was feeling now. There was something more going on, but what, she didn't have the slightest of ideas.

Well… she did , but speculation wasn't fact, so she deemed any of her guesses moot until proven otherwise. Either way it was true, she was, of course, feeling overly concerned for Shin's well-being, but it felt wrong to push that on her despite how much she wanted to be there. The unnatural tug was wrong even if it encouraged her based on the sense of rightness it seemed to instill within her. Shin needed space and time to get acclimated and Sabine knew she hadn't been doing a very good job of respecting that. 

Sighing to herself, the Mandalorian forced herself to turn away, allowing the distraction of what lay beyond the windows to take her mind off of all that had transpired. It was only then that she realized there was a small porch attached to their living space, and an entryway that would allow her to get to it. Without hesitation, she reached for the access on the wall to the right of the door and waited for the transparisteel panel to slide away after pressing in the activation button located there. Once opened, she stepped through and walked to the railing, then gasped.

The canyon was deeper than she'd expected. At first, the sight of the sharp drop-off made her stomach flip, but she was quickly able to school her emotions, allowing her composure to slip back into place. Her heart took its time settling down though, but that was to be expected.

Finally calm, Sabine took a look around and soon found herself marveling at the wispy, low hanging clouds that had drifted down from the overcast and humid surface above. The long, spindly, narrow-leaved branches that hung from stocky, silver-barked trees seemed to stick out amongst the mist, painting the walls of the riveen in greens and violets. While it was cool and mostly dry where she stood, she knew the surface climate was much different. 

Checking behind her, Sabine located a chair and sat, taking in the vast picture before her. The white vines that crawled along the rock seemed to be blooming, decorating them with puffs of blue. She chuckled. Their colors reminded her of Ahsoka. 

Ahsoka.  

She hadn't told her master about why she and Shin had severed themselves from their former group, but then again, the Togruta hadn't deemed it necessary to check. At least… that's what Sabine thought. In actuality, she wasn't experienced enough in using the Force to tell. The only person she could detect was Shin. 

Once again, the dark apprentice had ended up back at the forefront of her mind and she sighed as she sat back against the chair, molding herself to its contours. It had been so long since she'd thought so much about one person, those types finding themselves few and far between. The last ten years of her life had been dedicated to mourning the loss of her brother, who was now home and relearning how to socialize with people who weren't the Noti. With that weight finally lifted… Sabine wasn't exactly sure how to change pace either. It left her feeling awkward and somewhat detached from those around her, but she decided she would suck it up and pretend to the best of her ability to be normal .

Subconsciously, she noticed that the ache in her chest had begun to fade and she turned to look through the doorway that she'd left open. Without a second thought, she got up and strode back into the interior of her new home, heading straight for the Refresher. 

Oh, she was far from normal.

“Shin, I'm bringing you water.” She called with a hard cadence of demand rather than one that was a simple offer of information. 

She didn't wait for a reply before heading back into the kitchen to retrieve the cup she'd filled earlier. Once it was in her grasp, she proceeded to dump it out in the sink before refilling it, taking a small sip to make sure it didn't taste odd. Part of her wondered if Shin had sensitivities to dihydrogen monoxide purifiers. Maybe she would ask later.

With purpose, Sabine headed back, only to stop abruptly when the refresher door slid open without warning. 

On the other side stood Shin; tall and looming, her dark clothes contrasting starkly with the paleness that still clung to her like the nausea that remained undealt with. A ghost wrapped in shadow. It was clear she'd forced herself out before she was ready; she didn't look well at all. 

Shin couldn't meet Sabine's gaze, her eyes cast to the floor with intense intention, an air of avoidance about her. With a lack of fanfare, she switched the Refresher’s light off and turned to the side, then wandered into the living space to which she then sank heavily into the couch, allowing her head to lay back against the cushions, a sudden vacancy replacing avoidance as she stared up at the ceiling.

Fighting to free her legs from her surprise, Sabine managed to follow, although she wasn't familiar with this sort of behavior and she suddenly worried that she had finally pushed Shin too far. 

“How long has it been since you and the Dathomirian entity decided to… do what you did?” Shin mumbled, her voice hoarse from the strain it had been under earlier and sharp with irritation. Her body didn't move aside from the heaviness of her breathing, revealing her discomfort. “I'd like to know.”

Both shocked and confused, Sabine initially wasn't sure how to respond, but she forced herself to set the cup down on a nearby end table before she claimed a spot beside the dark apprentice. She was sure to keep her distance, just in case her presence wasn't entirely welcome.

“I'm not sure. Two standard months? Huyang would know; the day I found you was the same day I brought you back.” Sabine leaned into the cushions also, but she made sure to keep her gaze on Shin. “Why?”

Silver eyes slid shut, blocking out the world around her. A blast of swollen, painful emotions then hit Sabine, causing her to straighten with alarm despite how unmoving Shin remained.

“That’s all I needed to know. Thank you.” 

Pursing her lips, the Mandalorian sighed. If Shin didn't want to talk about it, she wouldn't and Sabine had already taken too long to learn that pressing her would only make getting answers take longer. 

“Would you let me go with you to Medical? If you don't want me in the room, that's okay. All you'd have to do is say something.”

A long span of silence stretched between them and Sabine found herself content to let it continue for as long as necessary. Eventually though, Shin answered.

“I would.” 

Relieved, Sabine found a small smile had the corners of her lips pulling upward. “I’m glad. Which floor do you think we ought to go to first? I didn't realize this place was so big.”

Shin fidgeted slightly, but overall, she didn't stray far from her rather slumped posture. With a sigh, she opened her eyes, and it seemed suddenly hard for her to bring herself to reply. Inevitably and reluctantly, she did, and it wasn't something Sabine was expecting to hear:

“The fourth.”

Chapter Text

“Ah, here we go.” The doctor said with a smile as she calibrated and focused the equipment meant to take images of the body's interior. It had already been used to examine the injuries Shin had been dealt, but considering that part of the appointment had ended… it was time for another aspect of it to begin. “Let's take a look.”

“Keep the projection off this time around, if you can.” Sabine requested, her voice gentle in the quiet, darkened space. 

Shin couldn't help but close her eyes for a moment, the attention on her in a situation she presently didn't want to be in. Despite the slight angle, she was mostly laying down, the plush articulated examination bed having been adjusted to allow her torso to remain mostly level while her head and shoulders were propped up enough to allow her to see the holographic projection the machine could produce. 

Her fingers tightened around the underside edges of the bed, steeling herself as she fought for internal balance. “It's a good idea.” She said with resignation as she opened her eyes, instantly finding herself glancing about her surroundings like prey watching for a predator. 

The doctor nodded, the dark blue Lekku that fell behind each of her shoulders moving with her, Shin noticed offhandedly when she looked over. “Not a problem. Would you be comfortable with hearing the findings, or would you rather find them in the copy of your scan?” 

The grip she kept tightened, her prosthetic’s anchor bolt shifting slightly within her bone, causing a sharp lance of pain to jolt through her collarbone and neck. The instability was something they'd learned during the musculoskeletal exam. Her body was rejecting the prosthetic and it would need to be removed soon. She suppressed a wince. “Neither.” 

There was a slight pause as the room filled with silence, her intentions on the matter seemingly clear despite having never considered a decision to keep or not keep the pregnancy. A hand found her own and she looked over at Sabine, who had remained sitting beside her since the beginning of the appointment. 

“Would you mind it if I kept a copy?” 

It was a simple and straightforward question, meant innocently and without assumption. Even still, Shin felt her chest tighten with apprehension. Had Sabine considered the possibility of being the other half of… ? 

She shook her head. “If you want one.” 

A smile of relief spread across the Mandalorian's features, but all it did was make Shin's anxiety worse. 

“I would.” Sabine said, keeping her gaze locked with Shin's for a moment before looking away to give the doctor her attention. “With all of the information you regularly include with a copy.”

The doctor nodded. “That can be arranged, certainly. Give me a few moments here and I'll have one ready for you.” 

Shin felt her expression darken as she watched the Twi'lek woman turn back to the access panel, gloved fingers dancing across the multitude of controls which would allow her to take proper readings. 

Sabine's grip tightened around her hand, causing her to break her glare and pull her attention back to her right. 

“Breathe, Shin.” 

Momentarily confused by the statement, Shin frowned, but it didn't take her long to realize that she did, in fact, need to breathe. With control, she exhaled, bowing her head as she did so, the intensity of her self-consciousness and vulnerability worsening. The machine and its detector prongs above her whirred with its efforts, and the soft yet high pitched noise reminded her just how much she hated anything having to do with medical facilities.

Sabine's thumb brushed over her knuckles, the touch so gentle it had begun to burn. She wasn't used to physical contact much less like this. No cloth served as the divide it usually did.

“Almost done.” The doctor's voice cut through her thoughts and it reminded her to take a breath in. Just like the musculoskeletal exam that had taken place at the beginning of the appointment, it seemed the fetal scan didn't take long at all to complete. “Do either of you have any questions?” 

“I do.” Sabine looked up and over, her thumb growing still. The trail of fire it had left behind remained and it developed to a dull stinging. Shin wondered if it would ever go away. “Is it safe for Shin to continue her training with Ahsoka and myself?”

The doctor nodded once. “Mindfully, yes. Exercise remains important too and if either of you need or want training on how to do so while expecting, come back here and request a class. We have instructors that run multiple sessions every day.” 

“We'll look into it soon. We'll need to break the news to a few people first though, which brings me to my next question: is the baby healthy?” 

Shin felt herself stiffen drastically, the pain in her left shoulder worsening as the bolt shifted again, although this time it felt more like it was trying to pull away from her body entirely. Somewhere in her mind though, she was glad Sabine was asking the questions. 

A smile from the doctor. “I'm glad to report that yes, the baby's doing well. They're a little on the smaller side though, but nothing to worry about. Strong heartbeat and very active.” She turned back to the machine when it signaled the completion of the scan and she reached over to pull a small memory drive from the machine, then set it aside. With the push of a few more buttons, the apparatus drew away, disappearing into the ceiling where it folded itself up until it was called upon again. 

“Active?” Shin asked quietly as she readjusted her clothes, feeling exposed despite not having to remove any of her regular clothing for either scan. With wary eyes, she watched the doctor move out from behind the control panel to hand the copy of the scan to Sabine. The small drive was accepted and immediately clipped to the inside of the external breast pocket belonging to the dark brown canvas jacket she was wearing.

“Mhm. At eight weeks, the baby has already begun to move around despite being so small. Your little one happens to be a little less than one and a half centimeters, or fifteen millimeters, which again, is normal, but a touch on the smaller side. I'll be prescribing nutritional supplements to help both of you get back on track.” 

Despite the casual, pleasant nature of the doctor’s tone, Shin's world stopped, aggressively throwing her forward. Her eyes grew wide and she straightened slightly, drawing up a deep breath in an effort to keep herself composed, but the panic had already set in. She hadn't heard the latter half of what the doctor was telling her, not after learning that not only was the life within her viable but that it was also moving around.

Beside her, she heard Sabine say something although there was too much on her mind to be able to make out what it could've been. She turned away to stare at the edge of the bed and at the hand still wrapped around her own. She could barely feel it. 

Seconds passed; minutes passed; hours before she felt herself regain her foothold upon the land of the present. She could barely breathe, the air having grown toxic to her as her muscles began to spasm, causing tremors to rack her body as though she suffered from hypothermia. There was movement beside her that she couldn't see, sound in the room that she couldn't hear, eyes staying locked to the hand that remained around her own, too terrified to move and yet-

“Shin.” 

Sabine's voice was gentle and careful as it broke through the fog. It reminded her of someone trying to comfort a starving animal.

“Shin, look at me.” 

It was a command. The Mandalorian squeezed her hand and it was enough to get her to finally look up and into those dark brown eyes that held nothing but concern and worry.

Shin knew she looked scared, but she couldn't hide it anymore. There had always been an inkling of doubt that the droid was wrong, but since everything had been confirmed… her future was now so much more unclear than it had ever been before.

“Talk to me?” Sabine asked quietly as she drew her own chair up closer, but she still didn't reach out.

Uncertain of whether or not she could, Shin simply shook her head and let her gaze fall back down to her occupied hand; a coward.  

“I've asked Y'shai to leave for a little while; she's through the doorway behind you. I can leave too if you need a moment to yourself, I don't mind.” 

Closing her eyes, Shin sighed and shook her head once more. To be truthful, this was the longest one-on-one conversation they'd had since leaving their quarters. It was the most Sabine had expressed too; she had barely reacted to learning about Shin's secret, taking it for what it was and pushing for action rather than conversation. 

“I’d like to leave.” Shin said quietly, her voice broken and hollow.

Sabine nodded. “I can arrange that. Let me ask a few more questions and find out where to get your supplements, then we can head out and find something fun to do. Please don't go anywhere. If you do, I'll have to chase you.” A small smile covered the worry but only did so partially.

Without thought, Shin found herself holding tightly to Sabine's hand, her grip increasing with the desperation to not be left alone. Shoving it aside, she forced herself to let go, pulling back and drawing into herself. Her thoughts swirled like a tempestuous sea.

“Everything’s gonna be alright; we'll get it figured out one way or another.” Sabine said gently as she stood. She let her knuckles brush against Shin's bicep before heading towards the back of the room, leaving Shin to sit in the silence with only her thoughts to keep her company.

Chapter Text

Shin stared down at the worn metal tray that sat on the cafeteria table before her, the contents bland and basic. Good for nausea , Sabine had insisted, but it wasn't helping. The strange mingling of scents that wafted through the place was off-putting enough as it was, but that was to be expected for a commons area such as this. 

Absently, she reached up to her left bicep, allowing her fingers to dance across the fabric wrappings which held Bacta patches in place, resisting the urge to scratch at it. The doctor had ordered a droid specializing in prosthetics to visit before she and Sabine had made their exit. It ended with the removal of her left arm, leaving the stump exposed and with it, the bruised and torn flesh the recently dysfunctional mechanical appendage had caused. 

The droid had removed the anchor bolt soon after, a quick yet painful procedure Shin was thankful had ended just about as soon as it had begun. It still hurt, but the Bacta had numbed the sharpness, replacing it with pruritus.

“Hey.” Sabine's voice managed its way into her field of attention and she looked up. The Mandalorian was sitting across from her with a meal not too dissimilar from her own. Solidarity. “Doc said not to scratch.” 

“That's not what I'm doing.” Shin said quietly, although she couldn't help but feel the reply sounded laden with petulance. “It's just… strange.”

Sabine simply nodded, then dipped a piece of hard bread into the soup she'd sat down with, allowing it to soak and soften. “How long have you had it? The cybernetic, I mean.”

Shin hesitated with the reply, unsure of how to answer. In its entirety, it was a long story; one she didn't want to get into at the moment. “Half a decade or so.” 

“Oh, it's not recent.” Sabine said as she watched Shin with a rather open expression. It felt so… casual . “Have you had trouble with the anchor before?”

“No.” 

“Hm. Well, considering it was being rejected by the bone, I'm surprised it hasn't gotten infected. How long have you been dealing with these issues?” Sabine asked just before she took a bite of soup-soaked bread. Shin looked down at her own food and once again considered making an attempt at eating something, then quickly decided against it.

“Peridea.” She answered, then looked back up. “It wasn't caused by the marauders though. Before the cave, they treated me with kindness and open arms for the most part.” 

“Wait, so it happened… after the cave? I mean, you started having issues with it after I'd brought you back to the T6?” 

Shin nodded. “Yes.” She admitted softly, her eyes absently drifting down to the breast pocket of Sabine's jacket; to the one that held the copy of the scan, holding there for a moment before finally coming to land on the seat of one of the other tables beyond their own. 

“Eight weeks ago,” Sabine said softly, seeming to have noticed the quick glance Shin had taken. “After we healed you. Do you think it has anything to do with that?” 

“Sabine.” Shin sighed with quiet exasperation. “I don't really want to talk about anything right now. I appreciate the concern, but I'd rather just focus on… whatever this is.” she gestured to her bowl of soup and hard bread.

“It's lunch.” Sabine said with a frank expression. “And you need to eat at least a little bit before you go for Bacta treatments. Oh, that reminds me,” she held up a finger and reached into her jacket. From a hidden pocket within, she pulled a small packet containing miniscule pellets Shin recognized as the prenatals the doctor had prescribed. Glancing over the instructions that had come with it, the Mandalorian read through everything seemingly twice before opening it. “Take one .” 

Shin couldn't help but frown at her and the open container of pills that was presently being offered to her.

“You need to. The doc said to take one with food.” 

Eyeing the packet warily, Shin felt her chest grow tight. She couldn't understand how Sabine could be so… casual about anything that had occurred in the last two hours. It made her feel sick.

Well, it made her feel worse than she already was, both in the body and the mind.

“Later. I'm not…” her voice broke against her will and she looked down at the table, suddenly finding herself blinking away tears. “Feeling well.” 

“Oh… yeah, okay. No worries.” Sabine said rather quietly as she pulled her hand back to reseal the packet. “Uh, hey, for future reference so I don't spill anything on accident… who else knows? Y'know, about…?”

Exhaling slowly, Shin gathered herself up and did her best to find composure. “Y-you. You're the first and only.” she reached up and pressed a new finger into the corner of each eye to wipe away what tears had formed. She hated the surge of emotions the topic caused, but then again, she hadn't exactly been granted a lot of time to come to terms with the knowledge let alone figure out what to do about it. She was, at the very least, trying to be understanding with herself over it.

Frowning slightly as she tucked the prenatals away, Sabine glanced back up. “Why me and not Ahsoka or Huyang?”

Chewing on the inside of her cheek, Shin tasted blood as she bit down, contemplating telling the truth. She had ultimately decided to go against doing that though; there were still too many unknowns and her decision to tell Sabine about the pregnancy alone had been entirely panic-induced. Even still, Sabine didn't seem aware of her theories and she almost wanted to keep it that way regardless of whether they were true or not. It felt best to keep her in the dark for the time being. 

“We have to live together.” She shifted uncomfortably, feeling her skin begin to crawl the more she pushed herself to speak. “It's not like… the- I… it's-” a shiver ran down her spine and she found herself nervously running the nail of her index finger across a dent in the table. “Time. I don't have time.” Her voice shook as panic took control, squeezing her chest with ice cold and razor sharp talons.

Softening, Sabine reached over and let the tips of her fingers brush against Shin's hand, which had grown still at the feel of the contact. “You have plenty of time, I promise. We can go over that stuff later though. I won't tell anyone either. It'd feel wrong anyways; it's not my place.” 

Looking up, Shin had a hard time maintaining eye contact, but forced herself to do so anyway. “Thank you.” She managed before giving in and allowing her gaze to return to the table below. Her food was getting cold, but it didn't matter, not when Sabine’s hand had slowly come to wrap around her own.

“Are you going to mind it if I insist on helping out?” 

Startled by the question, Shin straightened. “Why would you want to do that?” she spoke with exasperation, sounding as though it was a ridiculous request. It caused Sabine's features to twist in confusion.

“Because I want to?” She began slowly. “I mean, it doesn't matter to me what you end up choosing to do about… everything, but, y'know. I'd still like to help.”

Shin's expression narrowed with suspicion, panic turning to paranoia. “So even if I didn't choose to end things now, you'd still… want to do that?” 

Sabine shrugged. “Yeah, undoubtedly.” She said with a nod, then sobered slightly. “Look, ultimately you have the option over whether to stay with us or not and I just want you to know that all of us would like you to stay. You're not a bad person and you're not bad company either. I'm telling you this because those opinions will stay regardless of whether or not you wanted to… see things through. I know it's a lot to consider, but this is my answer to you when you ask ‘why’.” She smirked, but it held a kindness that felt less like teasing. “And I can't just sit here and let you go through this alone; that's not how I operate.”

Suspicion fleeing, Shin noticed the spiked edges of the walls she'd put up were beginning to erode. Once again, she fought with herself to suppress the emotions the confession had elicited, hoping to hide the tears which threatened to fall. Instead she frowned heavily, confused by Sabine's willingness to just… be there for her. It didn't make any sense. She'd never known anyone to say or do anything like that, ever . 

Not like this.

“You're a freak of nature.” Shin said flatly, although the observation wasn't meant as an insult. It seemed Sabine was aware of this though, because real and true laughter had bubbled out of her almost immediately.

“Chopper seems to think so too. I think you two will get along.”

Once again taken off guard by Sabine's words and reactions, Shin couldn't help but look concerned. “Chopper?” 

“He's Hera's really old C-series Astromech droid. You met him when we first landed, but he's been rather aloof since then. I'm surprised we haven't run into him, but then again, he missed Ezra a great deal, so I can't say I blame either of them for not visiting with us much recently. A lot has happened in the two rotations we've been back home, too. Give it time. We might see them at dinner.” 

For what felt like ages, all Shin could do was nod a few times, but once she managed to gather her thoughts up enough, she made her attempt at not seeming so distant. “I won't be attending that this evening.”

Sabine looked at her with confusion. “Why not? Bacta treatments won't take that long. They shouldn't at least.” 

Shin tightened her grip on the hand that remained around her own. “They'll notice that I'm not right in the head… they'll know…”

“They won't.” Sabine insisted quickly, leaning forward slightly in what seemed like an attempt to recapture Shin's increasingly unfocused gaze. “How could they? If anything, the immediate answer is your arm. ” She watched the dark apprentice for a moment before continuing. “Shin, you're not… it's not obvious unless you let someone spend a lot of time around you and even still, you're only eight weeks along. The symptoms you have aren't immediately attention-grabbing. You have nothing to worry about.” 

Taking a deep breath in, Shin reluctantly nodded, closing her eyes for a moment to steady herself. “But if they do?”

“Then they won't say anything. I grew up around these people. I know how they are and they'd never try to intentionally expose something so private. But look, if you're still not comfortable going, I'm going to insist on bringing back food because you still need to eat, which reminds me, please try to get something in your system before we go find the recovery wing.” Sabine pressed, and Shin exhaled slowly through her nose, relenting. 

“If I get sick, it's on you.” She grumbled and, like always, the Mandalorian grinned.

“That's the spirit.”

“-fuck you.” 

“When, where, and in what position?” Excitement danced in Sabine's eyes at the rapid rapport, and Shin sent her a glare that held no fire, but she couldn't help the blush that pinkened her cheeks and the tips of her ears.

Sabine chuckled. “Gotcha.” She said as her attention shifted to every part of Shin's face, taking in her victory. It didn't last long though, her smile turning into something gentler. “Now eat. Don't forget to soak the bread, otherwise you'll break all your teeth out and that would suck.” 

Shin clenched her teeth and ground them together a few times before nodding, pulling away and breaking their established contact. “Noted, thank you.” 

“Any time.” Sabine waved a hand and went back to her food, leaving the conversation where it was, allowing the silence to fall in its place. 

In the void left behind, Shin followed her orders and did her best to eat her lunch, and as it turned out, getting started was the hardest part.

Chapter Text

Shin was pregnant.

Those were two concepts that Sabine never thought would cross paths, but here she was, staring down at the holographic projection of the fetal scan that had been done earlier in the day. She could only wait for the news to fully sink in for both herself and Shin. It had been less than a day for her not-companion and only a few hours for her, if that. The shock of it all was still so fresh.

The little creature in the center of the capture area displayed within blue holographic light twitched and fidgeted again, the recording on loop. The small being had arms and legs and a massive head with swollen, underdeveloped eyes, all of which were supposed to be normal . Slowly; hesitantly, she reached for what would soon become the figure’s hand although her efforts obscured the image and it flickered around her finger.

With a sigh, Sabine pulled away and shut the projector down, leaning back into the bench she was perched upon. Returning the scan to the breast pocket of her jacket, she lifted her gaze to the massive tank which sat across from her and gently observed its sole occupant with understanding eyes. 

It was probably a blessing that the staff ended up needing to sedate Shin in order to get her to calmly stay within the Bacta tank’s bounds. She'd panicked due to the tight conditions; claustrophobia, the droids had claimed, but Sabine wondered if it was the truth. 

Her attention fell from the black respirator that covered Shin’s face to the wounds that had resulted from being nearly completely ripped in two. They were bad ; bad enough to where even Bacta would have a hard time getting rid of all remaining scars. She just hoped this hastened process of healing wouldn't threaten to cause issues. In fact, she hoped that Shin wouldn't need to return for further treatments at all. It would be for the best, especially since and should she choose to keep the pregnancy, the natural progression of things would soon impact the damaged area. 

Sabine was thankful that the doctor, Y'shai Raeu, she recalled her name being, hadn't mentioned anything along those lines to Shin. Despite the fear and confusion and anger, the dark apprentice had managed to hide it all so well, but it wasn't enough because Sabine could still see through those efforts. Saying something in reference to the natural developments that would soon appear with time held the certain potential to only make it worse. 

The least Sabine felt like she could do was be present for the challenges and changes that would come, although it was still early. Eight weeks , in fact, and based on the random bits of knowledge she'd gathered throughout her life, she knew that it'd be several weeks more before tangible proof would manifest.

Before the baby grew large enough to where the knowledge could no longer be ignored, that is, if Shin chose to keep the child. Something in her hoped that would be the case; that in seven month's time, the loud,  screaming introduction of a new life would make itself known. She couldn't put her finger on why though. It wasn't her place to try influencing such a weighty decision, so she wouldn't.

Sabine let her gaze fall to the floor. How had a child survived through everything that had happened? In general, being nearly severed in two was certainly not good for Shin's health nor the baby’s, so how had something so fragile managed to hold on? A stroke of luck? Truth be told, she wasn't even sure how long Shin had been in such a damaged state. In all reasonable thought, a pregnancy should be impossible.

Shifting in her seat, Sabine sighed as she stretched in small ways. The stress Shin was under had been impacting her too. Her upper back, her shoulders, and her arms had grown sore from the adrenaline, but it was something she was willing to endure. Why exactly she felt that way wasn't something she was able to identify, but she'd already accepted it; the present situation left no room for such a thing. At least, that's how she felt about it, anyways. Ever since she'd been called to the cave, that lingering pull had never faded despite the time that had passed. Even now, as they were separated by Bacta and transparisteel and distance, she could still feel that ever-present magnetism. It's what kept her locked to the bench instead of leaving to catch up with Ahsoka and Hera or Ezra, whom she hadn't seen for what ended up being an entire decade.

Overarchingly, it wasn't something she was upset about though. Being drawn to Shin felt natural; normal; like it should've been there ever since day one. It was strange enough as it was, but the fact that the apparent connection had seemingly grown stronger in the last few hours or so brought to her a new level of concern. She wondered if it was due to the unusual frequency of physical contact they'd shared. It was a question for Ahsoka, although she wasn't sure how to go about bringing it up.

Her hand absently reached for the scan again and for the third time since Shin had been submerged for treatment did she pluck it from its resting place so that she could look over it again. While its record time was no longer than a sixth of an hour, the scan held plenty of footage to keep her attention. 

Like before, she activated the projector then let the image settle and clarify. The same little being reappeared and she pursed her lips at it. 

It was so small; barely more than a bundle of cells, but according to the doctor, it was alive and well. 

Eight weeks old.  

The baby moved suddenly; it's tiny, fingerless hand and arm striking upwards. A stretch? She almost wanted to reach out into the Force with intentions to try seeing for herself even if this recording was taken hours ago. Ultimately, she decided against it. She wouldn't do something like that without Shin's permission, at least on purpose. Her lack of training had already gotten her into trouble, and this was something she never wanted to cross a line with. 

Her mind clung to the concept of the child’s age and it caused her to frown, her gaze drifting off the longer she thought about it. The prospect didn't make any sense, but sense didn't matter when evidence that the child had survived the injury and healing was nestled in the palms of her hands.

Unless… conception had happened after the healing; after cells, organs, and bones had been regrown and realigned.

At first glance, it sounded outrageous; ridiculous , but as Sabine sat with it, the concept felt more likely than it should have. When all was said and done, Solivarn had used her genetic code to help fix the wounds which had taken Shin's life for a span brief enough to bring her back.

Movement caught her eye and her gaze flicked back to the projection of Shin's fetal scan. The baby had moved again and Sabine felt herself soften. Was this child hers? Was she to blame? Was it Solivarn’s? Could it be Solivarn's despite his crystalline nature?

She wouldn't know until she was able to speak with Shin about it, but she could already feel herself beginning to panic in small ways.

A child. 

It was one thing to help out and participate wherever she could, but the dynamic would change entirely if the child was hers.

Cautiously, she looked back up at Shin who remained unconscious and unmoving, hooked to harnesses and breathing tubes and a web of electrodes that constantly monitored her vitals. Clad in nothing aside from the white shorts and chest bindings the staff had put her in before rigging her up, Sabine could see the scars that littered her body. They spoke of a hard and brutal past fraught with danger and uncertainty. A fire at the very least, or maybe chemical burns had something to show for their place in her personal history. Her right arm and upper torso were covered in the unevenness left behind after an event like that. The wounds had been poorly grafted and badly healed, Sabine could see. They were old though, and the skin looked otherwise healthy despite the trauma that had been done to the area. Her right leg looked the same way. 

This was most likely not the first time Shin had needed full-submersion Bacta treatments. 

Her torso, though; that was possibly the worst of it all. Sabine worried just as the doctor had within their private conversation, that the skin would potentially have trouble adjusting to the changes brought on by pregnancy; that the new scar tissue wouldn't have the time to heal properly and thus, would cause complications.

Sabine stood and crossed the distance between her bench and the Bacta pod, approaching without fanfare as she stared up at the figure suspended within. Her hands absently worked to shut the projector down yet again, and soon, it was tucked away, just like before. Her eyes scanned everything about Shin in those initial moments, taking in all that she could as the pull between them grew heavier; more influential the closer they were to each other. 

It made her want to reach out and touch the tank, to reach through the tank if she could and yet she kept an arm’s span between herself and the transparisteel cylinder. The purplish haze from the mix of the Bacta’s typical red hue and the blue lights from above and below painted odd shadows across Shin's features. She looked… thinner than Sabine remembered from their brief interactions before being stranded, and it made sense. Shin had been through a lot since then plus the amount of time it took for her to recover under Huyang’s care was enough for her muscles to begin to atrophy. 

Luckily… hopefully , things would begin to improve. Only time would tell.

“Sabine?” A familiar voice echoed through the large, dark room and she turned to find Ahsoka's familiar silhouette drawing closer. 

“Hey.” She said, trying to keep the surprise out of her voice. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything is now. You're not answering your comms.” 

Immediately frowning, Sabine patted the front of her jacket, then did the same thing to the pockets within her trousers. “I must've forgotten it with the ship this morning…” she mumbled absently before meeting Ahsoka's gaze. “I didn't mean to do that.”

An understanding smile tugged at the corners of her teacher's lips and relief washed over her nearly instantaneously. “We were just worried about you and Shin. You've been gone most of the day.”

“Kriff,” Sabine sighed. “I thought you were gonna tell me there was an emergency.” her thoughts shifted over to the dark apprentice and she knew her expression revealed every emotion she felt towards the matter.

“No emergencies yet, but I feel there's something on the horizon. Thrawn is without his Force-sensitives for the time being, but it'll only be a matter of time before that story changes.” She sighed and glanced up at the Bacta tank which held Baylan's apprentice. “On lighter topics, how's the kid?” 

Sabine almost choked on her own tongue, but managed to hide it well enough, she felt. “Kid?”

“Shin. How's she doing?” 

“Oh.” She said with an anxious smile she hoped would help hide her surprise. “Uh, she's fine, I think. We had a few different scans done and determined her prosthetic needed to be removed, so she'll be without an arm for the time being. Well, at least until it heals and more scans can be done on it. The bath is more for her injuries than her arm, though. The scar tissue isn't stable yet and if she begins training with us, she'll need the treatments to keep them from tearing open. From what the droids say, I think they've decided they want to keep her overnight.”

Ahsoka nodded as she absorbed all of the information Sabine had just given her. “I expected it to be worse, but I'm glad I wasn't right.”

“What? You doubted my healing skills? I’m offended.” Sabine said with a hint of sarcasm and it earned her a soft chuckle.

“I was worried about potential mistakes. A living being is incredibly complicated.” 

The smile faded slightly and Sabine nodded, sobering. “Me too, actually. Everything that happened in that cave was a blur. I have a hard time remembering everything, much less how I helped. To my understanding, I was just the template. I didn't do much of the healing on my own.” 

Ahsoka glanced back up at Shin, who, as per usual, continued to remain unmoving. “And how're you doing with all of that?” 

Sabine couldn't help her frown. “What do you mean?” 

“With processing all that happened that day. Not just the cut and dry of it.” the togruta’s powerful gaze found hers and she shifted slightly, wilting under the scrutiny despite the sincerity.

“Oh.” 

It was already a hard enough thing to talk about when she was glossing over details, but getting into the finer points? Sabine clenched and unclenched her teeth as she crossed her arms over her chest, gaze fixed up on the floor, unsure of how to answer.

“It's uh… I dunno. My memory of it is fading in really odd ways and sharpening in others. All that really matters is that both Shin and I got out of there alive and in one piece though. That's all I'm trying to focus on now.”

“It's still weighing heavily on you though. If you need to talk about it, you know I'm here.” Ahsoka said gently as she reached out to lay a hand on Sabine's shoulder.

“In time.” The Mandalorian answered with a weak, unconvincing smile. “I'm trying not to let it get in the way of my training.”

“I know. You're still doing well, Sabine. Working with the Force is rarely an easy task to learn or perform much less for someone in your position. One step at a time is what we're aiming for.”

An acknowledging look was all Sabine gave before letting out a soft huff of laughter. “One of these days I'll run with the big kids… even though I'm older than them.” She nodded towards Shin.

“Well to be fair,” Ahsoka began as she pulled her hand away. “We don't know exactly how old Shin is.”

“I do.” Sabine answered confidently. “She's twenty-five.”

“Then I stand corrected.” the not-Jedi said, matching the tone of their conversation. “She's younger than I thought. Her mental maturity is deceiving.”

Sabine laughed at that. “Tell me about it.” 

“Deal. Would you take a walk with me? I feel you need to get out of your head a little bit.”

“Lessons?” she almost winced at the thought. 

“No, just casual conversation. C'mon. I'll leave my contact with the staff here in case something happens while we're away.”

An uneasiness had formed in Sabine's chest at the thought of leaving Shin here alone and it was beginning to sink and sit badly in her stomach. She nodded anyway, not wanting to risk revealing the growing attachment she was harboring for the Dark Apprentice. “Right behind you.”

“Good. I have some things I'd like to show you.”

“Oh yeah?”

Ahsoka smiled and nodded. “Yeah.”

And without fanfare, the two left the recovery ward with the promise of conversation and time well spent in the near future. 

Sabine just hoped she wasn't going to slip up about anything sensitive in the meantime… 

Chapter Text

To splinter.

To shatter.

To shred.

To spall.

To tear.

To tatter.

To unmake.

If she closed her eyes long enough, Sabine could still see the bands of age within the solid stone; a naturally faceted crystal of a stunning beauty no other would ever see. 

She could still feel the electricity in the air like protons gathering to fulfill the request of a stepped leader. She would never forget the way her hair stood on end as the being she'd come to know as Solivarn emerged from deep within the cave.

At first, he was massive; a colossal titan which had shed his size to match her own, leaving a pile of sparkling boulders in his wake. He had reduced himself and chosen the stones that would best mimic the shape of her species too, his arms and limbs appearing more as muscles would; each sliver of stone mimicking a more masculine form which flexed and shifted with every movement. 

He was beautiful and terrifying in everything that he was and yet he had been gentle; kind. He knew her fear and sought to adapt himself to it. Perhaps it was out of sympathy, or perhaps not; perhaps it was out of loneliness or something much darker. Maybe one day, he had been a person just like her…

But she would never know.

The way he spoke– the sound he made to communicate was more akin to glass against glass; it was delicate and held a higher pitch than Sabine would've thought. When it was discovered that their capabilities of speech were too different, it was he who suggested a conversation through the Force. Despite knowing better than to accept due to her lack of training, Sabine allowed the contact anyways, her desperation to improve the situation dominating everything else. 

He knew better than anyone that she was afraid; had told her that it was blinding. He'd helped her learn how to project only the emotions necessary for communication and in that span of however long, Sabine had gathered up more information about the Force than she had in years. 

Solivarn's lessons would serve her well one day; she knew they would, but she could tell Ahsoka had sensed a difference in her capabilities once she'd returned to the T6 with Shin. 

Despite the success, however, Sabine found herself regretting the use of her newfound skills to deceive her own master; to hide the truth of all that she'd learned, but at the same time… she wasn't ready to talk about it. Her exchange with Solivarn to help Shin had left her feeling vulnerable and exposed. Every fiber of her being had been opened and examined to then replicate in the body of another. While she'd consented to the procedure, she couldn't help but feel… violated. It was too intimate; far more intimate than anything she'd ever done with anyone. It wasn't what she'd expected. 

Whatever he was, Solivarn had witnessed every aspect of her mind, body, and all that lay in between. He knew her framework and he knew what made her tick.

She was thankful that Shin had no recollection of much after her death, and that included their first few weeks together. Ignorance was bliss and her former adversary had enough to think about as it stood; her life forever changed by the attempts made to save her.

Sabine could almost chuckle at it. In the desperation to spare a life, another had been created entirely without intention. 

There was a definite absurdity that had her feeling skeptical, yet the more she thought about the situation, the more she was certain the child was hers. Solivarn had used her genetic material to mend that which he could not… the prospect was all too likely and she couldn't shake the intuitive knowledge either. 

Shin was pregnant with her child…

The idea was enough to pull her fully from her awkward and uncertain sort of sleep; she'd been dozing more than anything. It made sense for her dreams to follow a path more akin to conscious thought.

Then again, if motherhood was truly in her cards for the very near future, what else could she be thinking about? If Shin's child was also her child…

Pushing the thoughts aside, Sabine focused on sitting further upright, her posture having fallen terribly as she'd sunken down into the chair she'd been napping in. Her bones ached from it, but as she slowly unfolded each limb, it seemed the discomfort wouldn't last for long. 

“I was wondering when you'd wake up.” A familiar voice said in a tone that didn't sound friendly.

Shin.

“What's that supposed to mean?” The Mandalorian challenged, matching the energy in the atmosphere. It caused a slight gap in the timing before any reply came.

“You talk in your sleep.”

Glancing over, Sabine finally met Shin's gaze, the naturally lit recovery room causing her typically stormy grey eyes to appear more blue. “Did you like anything you might've heard?” 

Bristling, Shin relaxed back into the bed she was laying on, the white sheets matching the paleness in her features. She didn't look well, but then again, Sabine didn't get the best of luck towards having time to make her observations as the dark apprentice was already turning back to stare up at the ceiling.

“I think that you're half insane.”

“Generally speaking, I can't disagree with you.” Sabine answered calmly and quickly yet not unkindly; a rapport forming between them. “But tell me why you think so. I'm up for peer review.” 

It was then that Shin readjusted the grip she had on the pillow she was hugging against her chest. Her remaining arm was exposed to the bright sunlight beaming through the broad windows positioned across two adjacent walls. Sabine noticed once again that her skin was riddled with old scars; silvery-pink patterns that stood in high relief compared to the original state of her flesh.

“How long have you been here? In this room, I mean.” Shin asked instead, her gaze remaining fixed to whatever resided above her .

“They pulled you out of the Bacta tank at hour sixteen, had you sanitized, redressed, and brought in here. I was there for all of that and I'm still here, so, a while, I suppose.” She replied with the truth. “How long have you been up?”

It was then that Sabine's attention was drawn to the difficulty Shin had with swallowing back a complex mirage of emotions that could be felt through whatever it was that bound them. The intensity with which she experienced such things seemed to be increasing the further into wakefulness she ventured, but then again, she was still new to the Force.

“A while.” Shin whispered, her voice losing the annoyance it once held in favor of something more vulnerable. It had Sabine straightening with concern.

“What happened?” The Mandalorian demanded without an ounce of anything that could help soften the question. “Shin.” 

Closing her eyes, the other woman simply shook her head, drawing in a deep, steadying breath.

“Alright. I'm getting a doct-”

“Sabine.” Shin huffed shakily as she forced herself to look over when she realized the threat was genuine. “I'm fine.” Her eyes seemed incredibly sad in that moment, and it caused Sabine to take pause. “There’s a lot to think about and I don't exactly know what to do or how to feel. I just… request patience, okay?” 

It was the most forwardly honest Shin had ever been and for a long moment, all Sabine could do was nod as she settled back down into her chair. 

“Yeah… yeah, of course. Always. Has a physician visited, though? Are you all caught up?” 

“The doctor we saw yesterday came in after the machines noticed I was awake.” Shin replied with a sigh of defeat. “Clean bill of health. My arm’s been… uncooperative, though. They don't know how long it'll be before I can be refitted for a prosthetic. The bone’s acting odd.”

“Still?” Sabine frowned. “They mentioned that after you were placed in here, but they thought that maybe the Bacta was interfering. I didn't know that was a thing, but apparently it is.” Her dark expression lightened when an idea popped into her head. “Did Y'shai say anything about when you could leave?”

Shin shrugged to the best of her ability. “Whenever I feel comfortable with doing so. She advised to wait until you woke up though. I don't understand why you haven't gone to visit with Master Tano or your friends…” 

Sabine cracked a small smile. “Lately, I’ve been getting a really bad feeling in my gut when I leave you alone for too long. Ahsoka understands, I think. Maybe Ezra too, I dunno. I'll just say it's a Force thing if they ask.” She let her expression shift along with her posture. “Speaking of which, does Ahsoka know you're up?” 

“I've asked the staff specifically to avoid notifying her.” 

Confusion pulled Sabine's eyebrows back down into a frown. “Why?” 

Another long pause let it be known that the question didn't have an easy answer and for a while, Sabine didn't think Shin was going to respond. As promised, she provided the other woman with the space needed to wrestle out an explanation and eventually, her patience paid off.

“I… think she knows.” Shin spoke softly, her words falling like tattered cloth. A slight tremor ran through her; her arm tightening around the pillow again, hugging it close as though it were shielding her from danger. From somewhere within, Sabine recognized the subtle signs of self-consciousness and discomfort; the growing uneasiness that Shin felt in her own skin. The gravity of recent events were at last beginning to truly sink in and it was subsequently revealing much more than anticipated.

“If you're talking about the little one, I wouldn't be surprised, but… is that a bad thing? It would probably be good, actually, if you told her. That way, she could help adjust your lessons into something that could better suit your needs. I can't see Ahsoka reacting negatively towards any of this stuff either; it's just not in her nature.” she said, then cocked her head to the side as she thought of something. “Are you… thinking about keeping the kid or letting them go soon?” 

Of the Force’s indefinite network of gossamer threads, Sabine only needed one or two to realize the question was a source of heartbreak for Shin. She almost immediately regretted asking such a thing– almost. The amalgamation of emotions that flooded whatever it was linking them told her everything. She couldn't help but stand and drag her chair closer to the edge of the bed, knowing the upcoming conversion wouldn't be easy.

Shin looked at her with a mix of pain, fear, and exhaustion in her eyes; the weight of such a choice had been taking its toll– it had been on her mind since waking and that was something one wouldn't need the Force to know. 

Sabine reached out to very gently lay a hand on the other woman's shoulder, doing all she could to wordlessly show her support. The white fabric of the medical gown Shin was dressed in felt… somewhat stiff and perhaps even rough. Her intuition told her that it was something bothersome and potentially painful to damaged and badly healed flesh. 

“You were the template.” Shin whispered after a long span of silence. The words helped bring Sabine back down into the present. “You said so yourself… I'm not placing blame, but you should have a say.” 

Softening, Sabine pulled back slightly as she studied her former adversary. “Even if I'm the other half of the child's genetic makeup, this is still your decision. Neither of us consented to this outcome, but because it's you who is bearing the weight of all that happened in that cave, you deserve the final say. Like I said, I'm here regardless, and through me, you'll have a huge family to help out too, so if you're worri-”

“I remain firm in this.” Shin spoke up, although she suddenly seemed exasperated by the conversation. “If it were you, what would you choose?”

It didn't take Sabine long at all to know what her answer would be, but Shin needed to see her ponder the question. “If it were me… I'd talk to Ahsoka and ask her to check on the baby to make sure it was normal. Scans are just pictures and the Force could probably provide more information. I can't do this myself yet because I'm still learning and Ahsoka has experience with this sort of thing. If the baby was normal and looking healthy… I’d lean towards keeping the pregnancy and consider other pathways if I wanted or needed to do so.” She offered a small smile of encouragement. “This choice is yours , Shin, but I want you to know that you'll have an absurd amount of support through whatever you decide to do. You're not alone, plain and simple.”

The tears that welled caused Shin's eyes to briefly appear as mirrors would, but she blinked them away so they didn't have the chance to fall. With a deep breath in, she did the best she could to steady herself, although the Force felt chaotic as it moved through and around her. The arm wrapped around the pillow tightened yet again, her fingers curling inward around a soft edge, causing it to collapse. 

“I don't know if I could live with myself if I took the life of my own child.” She said slowly, her gaze fixed to the ceiling. “I don't know if I could ever unsee that sort of blood. I'm not… ready for any of this and I don't really know if I want this, but I don't think I have a choice even if the options are there for me to take from.” she looked over at Sabine then, assessing any potential reaction. “I'm thankful and appreciative, but I… I just… I'm not comfortable with any of this.”

Thoughtfully, the Mandalorian watched the woman across from her, her body mostly still as she considered the reply. “And that's okay. You have time to think all of this over and to talk about it if you need to. It's not like you have to make your final decision tomorrow.” She stated, then let her hand slide down to Shin's bicep, squeezing gently around the slender muscle and bone. The Force swelled at the more substantial contact and the all-too-familiar rhythmic ticking reappeared. Instead of dwelling on it, Sabine pushed it away; this conversation was too important to let herself become distracted.

Shin looked nervous and perhaps even reluctant to speak, but she did so anyway. “How long do I have?”

“I'm not sure how they do things here, but probably about another month. That, I think, is standard.” Sabine replied with a nod, but it earned her a frown.

“Why do you know that?” Shin asked, then her features twisted into something slightly curious. “Do you have any children?”

Sabine smiled and tried not to laugh at the question, but ultimately shook her head. “Nope; none. I'm not typically the dating sort, but I have a habit of finding companionship in those who would make that outcome impossible.” This time, she let out a soft chuckle before sobering at the complicated expression plastered to Shin's countenance. “What about you? Any kids?”

Blinking a few times to pull herself back into the present, Shin shook her head also. “I don't… participate in trying to be close to anyone. My purpose is to survive, not… to procreate .” 

“Y’know, that explains a lot, actually.” Sabine said with an unusual degree of nonchalance as she pulled away to sit back in her chair. Shin frowned, although there wasn't a clear way to tell if it was due to her replying comment or the loss of contact.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

So it was the comment, then.

“You are a very intense person.” The Mandalorian pointed out. “Not that that's a bad thing. I kinda like it, actually; it's easy to rattle your chains.” 

Brows pulling together and upwards, Shin appeared a mix of confused and embarrassed; the slight blush coloring her cheeks didn't help either. “Why?

A contemplative expression replaced the light amusement on Sabine's features. “Because I like it when you're not so stoic all the time; when you're not so unreadable. This thing that's going on between you and I and the Force– this link or whatever you want to call it; through it I know there's a lot more to you than your glare.” she smiled, but it quickly became a smirk. “That and I like it when you turn pink. It's endearing.” 

Shin straightened at having been called out, her flush deepening to the point of reaching her ears. “It's embarrassing.” She mumbled, sounding almost petulant as her gaze drifted to the ceiling. With a sigh, she closed her eyes, pursing her lips slightly as she thought. “The link you're talking about… what is it?”

Suddenly confused, Sabine's visage darkened. “You don't feel it?”

When Shin eventually looked over again, her eyes seemed… clouded. “No. Not in the ways you describe.” Clenching her teeth for a moment, she contemplated the rest of her reply. “I haven't been very open to the Force lately either.” 

“Why not? I've always been under the impression that you use the Force as much as you do your other senses.” Sabine asked, watching the other woman carefully.

Sinking inward, Shin nodded. “Things have been… a lot different since the cave.”

Understanding the true meaning behind the words, Sabine nodded. “You're worried about being able to sense the child?”

Tears welled in Shin's eyes again and she nodded. “I'm not ready for it to be that real yet.” She answered shakily.

Unsure if she should reach out again, Sabine looked on with sympathy. “How long has this been on your mind? How long have you been suspecting this… was a thing? The baby, I mean.” she asked calmly.

A shrug had been her initial reply, but when Shin answered, it wasn't something Sabine was expecting: “I think I've known since the beginning– since I woke up on the ship. I haven't felt right; the Force hasn't felt right…”

“Why didn't you say anything? I- we might've been able to help.” Sabine stressed quietly, her shock mingling with concern. 

“What could've been done?” Shin asked, exasperation making its way into her tone. “Nothing.” she grimaced, a hardness settling over her. “It was too early for scans to detect something anyways.” She mumbled in finality.

“While that may be true, you still could've reached out and we still would've been there.”

“What did you expect me to do, Sabine?” Shin retorted, her voice suddenly cold. “I barely knew any of you and I had a lot of gaps in my memory; I still do. No one should just… tell strangers about their personal problems.” 

For a long moment, Sabine stared at her, their eyes locked as they studied one another. Eventually, she sighed, then nodded, but instead of retreating, she reached over to pat at the breast pocket of her jacket.

“Now is as good of a time as any to start trusting me; us. ” Pulling the small drive and projector, Sabine set it upon the armrest of her chair. “Do you remember this?” she asked as she gestured to it.

A suddenly wide-eyed look of vulnerability passed over Shin's features, but she nodded anyway. “Why?”

“I keep this with me all the time. It took me two seconds to decide I was gonna help you with all of this, but now that I know it's very likely that the child is also mine, the recording on this drive means so much more to me. I'm gonna do whatever's necessary for you to start trusting me because from now on, we'll be very involved in each other's lives.” Sabine said, her tone serious yet not unfriendly. She needed Shin to know she meant it. “For this to work though, it'll take a lot of effort from both of us. Are you okay with that?”

For a short while, Shin appeared lost on how to deal with the emotions the request had brought up and Sabine chose not to point them out by asking. A nod was all she could muster in that moment and it was enough.

“Good, then I think we should start by doing something fun together. First, food. How's that sound?” Sabine asked, then hesitated, suddenly curious. “Are you nauseous?”

“I… don't make me answer that.” Shin sighed, although she appeared to feel uncomfortable about leaving the statement so unresolved.

Sabine's features softened. “Is there anything I can do?”

“No.” Shin replied with a subtle shake of her head, her features pulling into something akin to unease; her gaze distant. “It's… a new normal for now.” 

A sharp shock of pain lanced Sabine's chest and she knew instantly that it was fear. She reached up to massage the center of her sternum, hoping the discomfort would subside although it lingered because it wasn't her fear.

It was Shin's.

“Hey…” she began, unsure of what to say but she was almost thankful that Shin wouldn't look at her. “I… everything’s gonna be alright. I know it sounds like an overused statement, but I mean it; please listen to me on this one.”

Silvery tears filled Shin's eyes as she bit her bottom lip, chewing on it as she worked to absorb the Mandalorian’s attempt at bringing comfort to her. Only a few beats passed before she nodded despite her doubts, and just a few more passed before she began to move, abandoning the pillow she kept pressed to her chest and torso. “I need to… leave here.”

“What's wrong?” Sabine questioned, stiffening with immediate concern.

Despite her surprise when Shin simply shook her head, the Mandalorian was quick to accept the answer. “Let me help you-”

“-I'm fine.”

“Your arm's gone and I know you're not used to it yet.” Sabine countered as she scooted to the edge of her chair. She then stood so she could push it back into its place and the small memory drive containing the video from Shin's scan was at some point tucked back into her jacket's breast pocket too. 

Moving slowly, Shin brought herself upright, her expression betraying the fragility she felt both internally and externally. Sabine was there in an instant, her hands placed carefully around the other woman: one curved along the side of Shin's rib cage and the other on her opposing shoulder. 

“I said I'm fine…” the dark apprentice argued, but didn't make any move to fight against the subtle support Sabine provided. Eventually, she twisted to carry her legs over the edge of the bed, her feet soon planted firmly on the cold tiles below.

“See? Not so bad.” Sabine offered a smile, her hand pausing over the space between Shin's shoulder blades for just a moment before vanishing entirely. It earned her a glare, but there was a softness that usually wasn't present contained within. She sobered, then sighed with a slight nod. “C'mon. Let's get you dressed and then we'll go do something that'll get your mind out of the dark. Makin’ up for yesterday.”

With her gaze fixed to the floor, Shin nodded, although it only allowed her to tip her head forward into a bow of defeat, her hair veiling her features; hiding them from sight. “What do you suggest?”

Brightening with the consideration, Sabine felt herself answer almost too quickly. “We should check in with Ahsoka and the others first. We haven't seen much of them lately; I know they're worried about you and I also know they're probably suspicious about why I haven't been around much either.” 

“Why would they be worried? I'm a stranger.” Shin asked as she pulled her feet upwards, resting her heels upon the metal frame that cradled the bed.

“You returned with us on our ship. You're not a stranger if all passengers know who you are and trust you enough to take you along. Besides, I think Huyang enjoys your company.” Feeling pulled, Sabine reached over and carefully planted her hand between the other woman's shoulder blades again. The Force seemed to almost shimmer with the contact and it was then that Sabine could understand Shin’s behavior with better clarity. 

Sitting up had only made the nausea worse.

Starting with small circles, Sabine rubbed Shin’s back, hoping the gesture would soothe the discomfort. This time, she wasn't surprised when the dark apprentice said nothing about it, the Force telling her enough as it was. “Would you rather go back to our room? I don't like the thought of leaving you, but if it's too severe…”

“No, I…” Shin began, voice shaky despite its low volume. Even though her features were hidden, anyone could tell she was fighting back her own emotions from manifesting in ways that could be read. She drew in a deep breath, then tried to straighten, but stopped as though something pained her. Soon, her remaining arm was wrapped around her waist, fingers digging into her ribcage. 

“Uh, here.” Sabine said, reaching for the small pail she'd just realized was sitting idly on the bedside table, instantly understanding its purpose now that the need had arisen. She brought it over and made an attempt at offering it, but Shin simply shook her head.

“I'm fine, I just- it'll pass.”

“Shin-”

“It's been like this all morning, I can handle it.” the dark apprentice argued, although the tension building in her upper back could be felt through touch. “But thank you.” She added, her voice growing strained.

“Can they give you anything for it? Anything that can help?”

“It's not chronic enough yet.” 

Sabine's eyebrows shot upwards with surprise.

“They don't want me taking… medications unless it's absolutely necessary.” Shin explained, pausing briefly through a wince.

Sabine stared for a long time before ultimately accepting the situation. “What can I do?” She asked quietly, feeling helpless.

“Nothing.” Shin answered, although she didn't sound entirely like she believed herself. Shifting slightly, the dark apprentice glanced up, a frown marking her features as the arm around her waist tightened. “Your communicator is flashing.” she mumbled, changing the subject.

Not having expected the statement, Sabine knew her expression held surprise and confusion. “What?”

“Your communicator.” Shin repeated. “The windowsill.”

Straightening upon realizing that Shin wasn't joking, Sabine was quickly in motion. “Oh, kriff. You're right.” she whispered, hurrying to answer the request for contact. “Huh.” She frowned with continued surprise although she didn't hesitate to activate the small vocal transmitter. “Hey, Hera. What's going on?” she asked with a positive flare to her voice to ward off any potential suspicion that she was displeased to be receiving such communication. 

“Sabine, good morning. I have some news I need to share with you. Are you with Shin?” 

Glancing over with a concerned frown, the Mandalorian made eye contact with the woman in question who simply nodded her consent. “Uh, yeah. Why? Has something happened?”

“There's been some… developments all of us need to discuss. I'd like to see you both down here if possible, but if Shin's not feeling up to it, she should stay behind to take care of herself. Meet us in the War Room, I'll ping it on your map.”

“Who else is going?” Sabine asked with growing concern.

“Ahsoka and Huyang are already with me; Ezra is on his way. If you need help navigating the base, ask around; the people are generally friendly here.”

Nodding to herself, Sabine let out a quiet sigh. “Okay. We'll be there as soon as we can. Do we need to bring anything?”

“Ah, no, just yourselves.”

“Alright. Thanks, Hera. See you in a bit.”

“Lookin’ forward to it. Signing off.”

“Signing off.” Sabine echoed before deactivating her end of correspondence, allowing her hand to drop down into her lap. Before she could take a full moment to absorb everything she'd just learned, beside her, the dark apprentice began to move. Without conscious thought, she reached out and placed a hand on Shin's bicep, stopping her.

“Hey, woah, what are you doing?” 

Shin's features twisted with confusion towards why she was being asked, but she settled back down into her seat anyway. “Did you not hear what we were just told?”

“You're not going. You don't feel well and you should get some rest-”

“I've been resting all morning.”

“So?” 

“I'm fine.” Shin all but growled, her insistence pressing down on the room like a lead blanket. 

“You're not, I can-” Sabine hesitated slightly, wondering if she should finish her sentence, but ultimately, her own sudden frustration won out “Shin, like I told you earlier, I can feel it. I know you're still feeling sick and that you're trying your best to hide it. I know your arm hurts where they had to remove your bone anchor because it's not healing right. I can feel your anxiety and your confusion and your pain. I'm not actively seeking it out; I just know and that ability to know is strengthened when I'm near you or in direct contact with you. It's not impacting me– I'm not experiencing these things, not usually, but I'm very much aware of what's going on, so please just listen to me instead of fighting with me for a change.”

Appearing scolded yet stubbornly defiant, Shin's features were hard; her jaw clenched tightly yet she remained silent.

With a soft sigh, Sabine stood from her place on the edge of the bed, leaned over, then pressed a quick kiss to the side of Shin's forehead before straightening to readjust her clothes. “I'll catch up with you later. If you do decide to leave, make sure to eat something. I'm concerned you're not getting enough.” she said as she turned, her gaze meeting with widened blue eyes and she stopped, a frown pulling her features inward. “What?”

“I just don't understand you.” Shin stated, her tone still hard, although Sabine could tell it wasn't meant to be an insult.

“That's alright. You have all the time in the world; you're stuck with me now.” she smirked. “I'll see you later. Contact me if you need anything.”

Unsure about how to reply, Shin simply nodded, although it was clear she wasn't comfortable with staying behind. 

“Good.” The Mandalorian said as she patted through each of her pockets, checking to make sure she had everything she needed. “Wish me luck– I don't know where I'm going.” She chuckled with a shrug before ultimately making her way from the room, a wave of departure marking the end of her time there. 

As Sabine stepped through the threshold, a knot of unease began to tie itself up within her, but she brushed it aside to focus on her task at hand instead…

It wasn't until she was far from the recovery wing that her unease began to progress into dread.