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Language:
English
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Published:
2024-03-10
Updated:
2025-02-15
Words:
2,698
Chapters:
9/?
Comments:
41
Kudos:
38
Bookmarks:
5
Hits:
1,165

Hkibidi Potter (Harry Potter x Skibidi Toilet)

Summary:

best Harry Potter fanfiction you will ever read

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Summary:

chapter 1 ho ho ho

Chapter Text

One day skibidi toilet hopped happily along the sidewalk singing skibidi dop dop dop at the top of his lungs. He was about to go through the wall to the train at kings cross station but he wasn't going to roll through yet because he was 500 hours early. Suddenly his true love crush pookie bear pookins aesthetic berries and cream apple of my eye Harry Potter caught his glistening blue orbs and they stared at each other for 500 hours in awe.

"H-hey uwu" skibidi toilet cackled.

"Whats up my pookie" Harry potter replied, applying lipgloss seductively.

Skibidi toilet realized in a panic that he was late for the train because of his 500 hours of staring so he started hopping quickly into the wall and crashes into the train. the train driver guy farts loudly and starts eating big macs.

skibidi toilet realized that he didn't have a compartment to sit in so he started crying and lip smacking. Then he saw harry potter in a compartment applying 42390848091 layers of foundation so he knocked on the glass door.

"Uwu can i sit here harry potter apple of my eye" Skibidi toilet screeched as he curled his toes seductively.

"ofc my stinky pinky toe" harry replied.

skibidi toilet did the splits aesthetically and jumped into the chair. They were on their way to hogwarts and they were happy.

 

END OF CHAPTER 1

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Summary:

piss

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Skibidi toilet sat awkwardly in the train with harry potter, turning as red as a tomato which is what his face was shaped like. harry potter started dancing and playing pubg in excitement.

"harry potter uwu" skibidi toilet said. then harry potter started screaming because draco malfoy set his hair on fire. then the train teleported to hogwarts.

"ok guys get ur butts out of the train were going to hogwarts" hagrid said holding a lantern.

the toilet and harry potter hopped together out of the train. "omg ship" ronald weasley said as he saw them smooching when they hopped out. skibidi toilet started blushing as yellow as ur pee and twerked in embarrassment.

"omg stahppppp stahppppp" harry potter squeals, clicking his 50 inch long nails together in happiness.

"omg ur just jelous that i get more kills than u in pubg" ronald screeched.

"omg shut up ed sheeran" harry replied, emoting in frustration.

"omg ur so mean harry pookins im just a small bean" ronald weeped.

"omg guys stop fighting over how hot and beautiful i am" skibidi toilet cackled.

"guys just shut up and get in the boat" hagrid said, throwing refrigerators in anger.

"ok fatty" the three 2 year olds screeched in unison. then they all rolled into the boat and headed into hogwarts. they twerked their way into the dining hall and professor mcgonagall strolled in holding the crusty musty dusty husty lusty rusty pusty kusty wusty disgusting delicious grimace ohio skibidi stinky smelly old sorting hat.

"ok you gremlins its time to sort" mcgonagall rolls her eyes and starts shooting basketballs better than lebron james. "first is skibidi toilet get ur butt up here"

skibidi toilet emotes his way up the stairs to the stage and sits on the chair. he farts as mcgonagall puts the hat on his head.

"um ew i think he goes in......." the sorting hat starts.

END OF CHAPTER 2

Notes:

omg omg omg i know right such a scary cliffhanger arent u just on the edge of ur seat

Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"um ew i think he goes in..." the sorting hat starts. everyone is mewing in anticipation as the sorting hat is deciding what house skibidi toilet is in.

"um the one house with the lion" sorting hat said as he started eating mcgonagalls boogers.

"its gryffindor u stupid fat ahh ugly crusty musty dusty kusty gusty husty rusty wusty pusty justy restarted acoustic obese 6000 pound hat" harry said, turning into karen from mean girls.

"ok no one asked" the hat said as he started peeing on skibidi toilet.

"omg harry boo boo you are so hot" skibidi toilet steamed as he started mewing even though he was already looksmaxxing since 2 BC and has a gigachad jawline.

"ok skibidi toilet get ur stinky fat ahh off the chair its time for other people to be sorted" mcgonagall said, letting out a wet, juicy fart.

"erm ok karen no one cares" skibidi toilet cackled and propelled off the chair. harry was also sorted in the lion house but im too lazy to write that.

"omg harry potter we should have a slumber party with skibidi toilet draco malfoy and hagrod" ronald wesley screamed.

"omg yas yas yas lets go" harry said, peeing in rons mouth.

"ok pack ur stuff" skibidi toilet said, rolling toward the gryfindor rooms. "i eat booty"

"same" said hagrid

"poop" said draco

 

END OF CHAPTER 3

Notes:

OK THE NEXT PART WILL BE THE SLUMBER PARTY AND IT WILL BE SO GOOD omg omg omg arent u sooooo excited hohoho

Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Summary:

4th chapter

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"welcome to my dorm pookies" harry says, peeing in excitement.
"bro wtf why does it smell like feet thats kinda sus man" ronald wesley says, starting to sing perfect by ed sheeran and doing heel clicks.
"why does your mom smell like feet" harry sang back, twirling around shrek while twerking.
shrek laughed and sat down and broke a hole in the ground. ronald pooped in shock and harry emoted.
"bro wtf shrek who invited you man" harry cackled, eating ronald wesleys poop while snorting hagrids beard juice
"idk bro but wheres draco i want to smooch his juicy moist lips" shrek whispered creepily into a pillow. Ronald wesly let out a screech as the door banged open and draco walked in dancing the macarena.
"my pooki dookie wookie schmookie darling dearest daddy!" harry screamed and creamed simultaneously.
"wtf bro i thought we were married with 15 kids" skibidi toilet weeped as he started dancing to karma by jojo siwa
"stfu you bald ahh ugly fat obese 600 pound delicious level 100 gyat fattie" harry smirked, lowering his ocean blue orbs at the stinky fat toilet.
"SHUT UP YOU STUPID LUMP OF CRUSTY SOCKS" draco screeched as he sat on harry's foot. harry let out a low scream and fell into ronald wesley's poop
"stfu harry this is boring all ive been doing is eating buckbeak lets just do something" hargid said while mewing and farting.
"me when i fart" harry said
"ok" said draco
"anyways harry truth or dare" ronald asked, wiggling his toes.
"dare"
"eat my feet"
"no"
"ok eat skibidi toilets poop"
"ofc i love stinky, creamy, delicious, smelly, flavorful, sweet, salty, spicy, bitter, savory, lightly dusted with powdered sugar poop" harry said, plunging his tongue deep into the dark brown poop.
"l jawline" draco said.
"stfu draco ive been mewing since 2 BC just because u have skibidi rizz no beaches grimace ohio fat ugly jawline stinky fat obese morbidly obese furry doesnt mean you need to take it out on others" harry cackled.
"ruff" skibidi toilet said, farting enthusiastically
"guys can i join in" mcgonagall said, entering and letting out another wet, juicy, succulent, rich fart because she ate beans
"gawk gawk gawk gawk" harry said, snorting the rich, delicious smell of her fart and watching youtube shorts.
"guys lets sleep" skibidi toilet said, sleeping.
"ok"

"me when i poop"

END OF CHAPTER 4

Notes:

guys give me idears for the next chapter bc idk

Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

it was 3 am and everyone was happy and farting until suddenly dumbedore came in.

"bro wtf are u guys doing bro theres a quidditch game tomorrow" dubbledor said, puking after smelling the succulent, stinky scent of the room. he pulled off his wig and all his white dandruff fell onto the floor like the blizzards in antartatrartarttartartica.

"omg dubbledor ur so annoying we were just about to have an obesity competition" skee bee dee toilet woofed, eating takis and rapping like a british chav

"idc lol ur probably just mad bc im better than you at fortnite" dumbedore emoted in jealousy

"guys its litcherally already 9 am because we've been playing pubg for too long so get ur butt together and go put on pants we have to go play the broomstick game or whatever" draco farted, spanking mcgonagall.

"stfu draco no one cares but like im gonna win bc im the main character and not like other girls" harry smacked and cackled, twerking enthusiastically while drinking his 100000 dollar mocha latte pumpkin spice espresso black iced macchiato acai smoothie strawberry dragonfruit mango refresher from starbucks out of his limited edition diarrhea colored stanley cup.

"gawk gawk gawk gawk" draco replied, peeing into the 100000 dollar mocha latte pumpkin spice espresso black iced macchiato acai smoothie strawberry dragonfruit mango refresher from starbucks in the limited edition diarrhea colored stanley cup and drinking it. anyways 5 minutes later they all got dressed and im too lazy to write that

"guys just go play the broomstick game or whatever" madam cooch said, sitting on ron wesley.

"ok bro"

everyone flew into the air. GAWK GAWK omg who is choking? everyone turns around and harry pot turned as green as ur foot fungus while he was 3 feet in the air. he threw up the golden snitch. he won the game in 1 millisecond!

"omg guys he won the game" hermeoeienene said, chugging 5 gallons of orgain protein shake.

"yay" hargod said, bumping into ron wesley because of his giant obese 10000 pound fat ahh body.

"wa" draoc cried bc he was a sore loser with an l jawline stinky fat obese morbidly obese 10000000 pound ugly skibidi rizz fatty fatso level -1000000000000 gyat

"womp womp lil bro u suck" madam hooch said

"stfu mandam cooch" draco pooped.

"i drink piss"

END OF CHAPTER 5

Notes:

give me more ideas because im lazy thanks

Chapter 6: Chapter 6

Notes:

chapter 6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is the long awaited COMEBACK you have all been waiting for

Chapter Text

"ok so since youre such a beta we should have a pickup line competition" draco said as he started lip biting imediately and edging to kai cenat.
"ok fatty" harry said, swallowing as he sang espresso by sabrina cpartinar
"ok" said hagr9d
then kai cenat apppeared! "OMG its my tru love" draco saidm, immediately combusting into a bunch of pieces.
"shut up you lecvel 0 gyat you have skibidi rizz and are ugl;y af no one wants you you sore loser you will never pull as well as me you caseoh ahh gremlin" kai cenat said, immediate;y roasting the f out of the fatty stinky draoc. draco ran off crying because he is a loser discord mod with l rizz and no aura so literaslly no one loves him.
then they forgor about the pickup line competition and immediately started playing dress to impress on roblox. draco kept wanting to team with kai cenat but luckily kai cenat started peeing immediately whenever he saw drawos hair since its yellow.
everyone farted and then they ate their ipad s because their fattys. the nthey started saying pickup lines. oh also skibidi toilet is there but i forgot to put thast so yea you know now.
"ok start yo ur pickup lines monkeys" said skibeedee toilet.
"ok" said harry
"are you a fart because when i push you out my butthole i become happy"
"omg harry you are soooooo hot and preppy!" skibidi toilet said, blushing as he applied 435083490583045839458304938085934850 layers of rare beaty blush and the one like preppy orange sol d janeiro perfume or simething.
just then caesoh appeared!
"are you a soda because when i slurp you up my mouth starts bubbling and rumbling" said caseoh
"of course youre talking about soda you biggy"
"stfu"
"we can go gyat for gyat we can go rizz for rizz 19 bucks for the fortnite card double pump with the fanum tax i got the aura the ligma the sigma and livvy she say i got rizz"
then harry farted.

END OF CHAPTER 6

Chapter 7: Chapter 7

Notes:

very long chapter

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"OMG guys stfu we are gonna b late for math clas!!!!!" skibidi toielt said as he started reapplying his bright red nailpolish on his 123918239018239819328192310238912381923810239812381238190238109238120 foot long nails.

"are you actually acoustic theres no math class"

"mb bro you didnt have to be that mean to me... i'm just a small bean and not like the other girls" skibidi toilet said, blinking aesthetically./

"oh"

"anyways lets go to potions class bc snape is sauuuurururrrr hot" harry said, clacking his toenails toegther in excitement. then skibidididididid toilet started tweaking becuase hes the overprotective mafia hot ceo wolf jimin jungkook boss coldhearted aetshetic 6 foot nonchalant dreadhead overprotective boyfriend.

"erm what the sigma" said caseoh as he ate 5000 mcburgers because hes fat.

"shut up caesoh ok lets go to snape class now" cackeld harry, turing into jojo siwa and farting so loud even caseoh didnt eat it. anyways they all teleport to snapes cl ass room like in adopt me on roblox.

:"ok class purrr just read the book" snape farted as he started sitting on all the students desks with his massive level 1000000 gyat which made all the students start edging immediately. they sniffed his farts eagerly and started pooping in hopes that snape would eat more beans on toast since there british chavs.

everyone started reading the book that snape gave them but couldnt focus since snape immediately started taking off his pants and dancing around the room in his goofy ahh spongebob underwear.

"chat this is a rare gyat sighting!" said cedric diggory. yeah he exists in this story i bet you never knew that.

"ok hufflepuff more like huskypuffy you fatty time to tone it down on the mcdonadlds you drake fan"

"they not like us they not like us wop wop wop wop" said draco

"guyat" said hagrid

END OF CHAPTER 7

Notes:

give me ideas also what other characters should i add bc these characters are getting lame ngl

Chapter 8: Chapter 8

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"guys... dont tickle me but i havent watched talk tuah yet" draco said.

"tickle me elmo" harry replied while doing his 129810239102398013928 day late math homework

"stfu"

"okay idc but like we should wtach it i just bought some prime"

"bro im not in the mood for talk tuah"

"ok bro lets do makeup and have an aesthetic girls night i brought my james charles makeup pallette!" harry siad pulling out the disgustingly grotesque snotty fart covered slimy spicy sour stinky fat obese morbidly wide horizontally challenged eyeshadow pallette.

"urm ok" draco said, sighing because hes the alpha omega twilight werewolf emo mistreated fat adopted child becomes the lost alpha wolf princess fairy. he immediately started edging because an AVALANCHE of apples started licking his feet.

"h-harry! w-what about me... i'm y-your bae! hmph.... grr!" skibidiidid toilet said, doing the weird anime legs thing because he thinks hes cute when actually no one likes him and all his friends are fake and hes acting cute for attention that he never got from his parents because theyre both too focused on his new baby brother and so he wants attention and only wants to feel loved which is the motive behind all of his embarrasing and lowk cringe actions.

"bro stfu this is why youre the rainbow cuz youre not good enough to be the pot of gold. im gonna literally diddle u!" said harry, interlocking toes with hagrid, who immediately started gooning on the spot!

"guys have u played the new dti update i love dti dti is my bae dti with my baddies"

"no"

"go eat urslef"

"ummmm"

"candlestick"

Notes:

so like

Chapter 9: Chapter 9 (finale? maybe)

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

so basically everyone was happy and stuff for like the whole year. harry potetr almost died during the battle with voldy but its ok cuz at thye end they became friends with the [power of friendship and then they celebrated galentines day and bought eachother dior lipglosses and jellycats and everyone was hap[py. someone buy me a jellycat btw bro i need the little frog or lachlan sad rat or ricky rain frog or cherry blossom brush bunny so bad. ok anyways yeah voldy is like lowkey girlbossing too hard so now the main point of the story is gone, and he turned his death eaters into the cast for the new mean girls movie and it was actuallyu pretty good and everyone watched it together.

then they all became famous! they rented a house and lived with jiafei, beyonce, the hyperpigmentation family, chopped chin, lebron james, and ningning (cuz shes the MAKNAE).

idk if this shoul;d be the end cuz i really need to lock in fr but i may comeback to write more

but yeah keep eating and dont forget to buy that property in egypt so they can give you the property
youre not chopped btw

Notes:

nah why does this have 31 kudos im lowkey famous