Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Living with Kerry was no walk in the park. He was messy, loud, and had guys over at all hours. The only reason Johnny kept him around was because he knew if he didn’t, he would find him overdosed in some crack house that his latest boyfriend dragged him to. The dude had no survival instincts. He moved through life from bed to bed in search of cheap drugs and dick. Truly he was living up to the rockerboy lifestyle.

At the very least, Kerry was a good friend - it was nice having someone to get fucked up with, and it was convenient for the band that they could just bounce ideas off each other in the middle of the night without having to drive across the city or call each other and only half get their ideas across. On the rare occasion, when the heating was on the fritz and the cold air blew in through the badly sealed window, Kerry also made for a great heater to cuddle up next to - though Johnny would sooner die than tell anyone about that. 

Tonight was one of those nights. Johnny had taped up a sheet over the one window in the small apartment, but the frosty winter air was still chilling even as he lay curled up in bed. He had been responsible for once and gone straight home after their Samurai gig that night instead of going out on the town with the rest of the band, blaming it on a headache or some shit, but he was really regretting it now. He could use some alcohol to warm up his bones. Alternatively, it would have been great if Kerry hadn't gone out and could curl up next to him. He wasn't sure when that little routine started, but he figured one cold night they were up late writing music together and just...fell into each other and stayed there - he tried not to think about it.

It was about 2am by his body’s estimate, and just as he was about to give up on sleeping and get up, he heard clambering outside his bedroom door. The familiar sound of their front door opening and someone stumbling to catch themself on the wall. Kerry - he was home, and drunk. Johnny half expected to hear some random guy with him, but there was no one else. It was surprising, but he was happy he wasn't going to be kept awake by the sound coming from the other side of his bedroom wall. If he were a lucky man, Kerry would just mosey on over to his own bedroom and pass out in a puddle of his own drool and piss, but that was the thing about Johnny, he could never catch a fucking break. His door quietly opened, letting in the dim light of the hallway, only interrupted by the silhouette of his roommate leaning against the door frame. 

Johnny groaned quietly as he felt the mattress sink next to him, it was fucked up how natural this had become. Johnny wasn’t gay. Dodging Kerry’s advances was an Olympic fucking sport, and he would be set to win the gold if it weren’t for how goddamn good he was at getting to Johnny when he was weak. He always told himself that Kerry was an asshole and a creep for insisting on chasing him, but truthfully he knew if he actually got pissed off and told him to back off, he would. It was a game for Kerry - and for Johnny? Maybe he was in denial about some shit, maybe he just liked fucking with him.

“‘s cold…” Kerry murmured into Johnny’s back, his voice barely audible. He smelled disgusting. Like sex, and alcohol - and not in a good way. It was cheap and it was invading Johnny’s senses. He hated when Kerry spent all night fucking some random guy (or guys) then came home looking like a hot mess. At least when they went out together he could steer him away from the creeps and sleazes that were just gonna use him and leave him. It was clear that he hadn’t been with someone worthwhile if he came home smelling like Dicky Twister's bathroom floor. 

“Go shower. It’ll warm you up, and keep my sheets from smellin’ like some cheap fucking joytoy,'' Johnny huffed as he gently elbowed Kerry’s stomach with his ‘ganic arm.

Kerry was really warm, and he was a good bed mate - slept like a fucking corpse most of the time, and whenever he didn’t, it was just because he was distracted feeling Johnny up. The thought of this cheap whore version of Kerry sleeping all cuddled up to him like they were a married couple with an adultery problem? That made Johnny’s blood boil and no amount of warmth was worth dealing with that shit. He wasn't some bitch Kerry could curl up next to after fucking a random guy.

“Mm...thought you’d be used to the smell...” Kerry hummed, clearly too tired to actually put any venom behind his words. He sat up slightly and placed a soft kiss on Johnny’s cheek, which made him recoil slightly from the brush of his cold nose, and the display of affection. 

“I don’t fuck bitches that smell like cum and cheap vodka.” Johnny batted Kerry away and pushed himself up against the wall his bed was pressed against. “Clean yourself up and maybe I’ll tolerate you trying to get in my pants. Too tired for this shit.”

“Too sober, more like, could change that...” Kerry trailed off as he sat up over the edge of the bed, Johnny could practically hear the gears in his brain whirring. 

“Drop it. Shower.” Johnny grabbed a pillow and threw it halfheartedly at Kerry’s back to punctuate his point.

He heard him chuckle and leave the room, stumbling on his feet as he made his way to the bathroom. All the screamsheets and medias liked to paint Johnny as the out of control hot mess, but they never saw Kerry like this, never saw him sucking dick in an alleyway after a gig for a bump of MD. He was purring with rage as he nestled into his pillow, and felt his thoughts slowly drift away. 

“Move over.” 

Johnny was woken up by Kerry standing over him, hair damp, and wearing a pair of Johnny’s sweats that he clearly just grabbed off his floor. He had such a damn pretty body, and his tattoos and nipple piercing would be the icing on the cake if Johnny was into dudes - which he wasn’t, for the record, he just could appreciate beauty when he saw it. There was a reason Kerry was the front man, and why every guy in NC wanted him, Johnny wasn't blind. He groaned and shifted back to give Kerry room to lay down next to him on the exposed edge of the bed.

“Wearin’ my clothes,” Johnny pointed out tiredly as Kerry got in next to him and immediately slipped his hands around his waist, resting on the small of his back. 

“Figure this is the only way I’m ever gonna get in your pants,” he joked and rested his cheek against Johnny’s warm chest. He must have been cold from getting out of the shower because every inch of his body was pressed up against him. Johnny instinctively went to wrap his arms around him, only for Kerry to jump slightly at the unexpected sensation of freezing cold metal on his bare skin. 

"Ah, Johnny!"

“Fuck, sorry, Ker.” Johnny quickly put his metal arm above the sheets and held his frame through the layers of fabric. It didn’t feel right. He wanted to comfort him, to protect him from the cold- which wasn’t how this was meant to work. Sleeping in the same bed was because Kerry was always warm, which benefited Johnny, not the other way around. He shouldn’t give two shits that he can’t hold Kerry properly in a way that would be beneficial to his comfort. He shouldn’t care. Yet...looking down and seeing his pretty brown eyes looking up at him expectantly…and those pouty fucked-raw lips…he knew he was fucked, ‘cause he did care. He cared a lot. 

There was a moment of calm silence before Kerry reached out a hand and traced where Johnny’s metal arm met his flesh, right by where his black tank hugged his chest. “Must get cold…do you feel it?” 

“Hurts sometimes, nerves are sensitive. Easy to ignore now though. Imagine it’s like one of your piercings, the same kinda feeling, you only notice when it’s extreme. Like if I stuck my arm in a tub of ice or in a furnace.” 

“Don’t make a habit of sticking my dick in a furnace,” Kerry chuckled with a shrug. “But makes sense…would not wanna be fingered by you in a heat wave."

“You-” Johnny stammered slightly, his shock breaking down his usual cool-guy facade for a second. “You have a dick piercing? Painful.”

“Prince Albert, painful as shit, all piercings are,” he laughed. “Couldn't jack it for weeks, but it makes sex fucking awesome now.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Johnny shook his head and settled back down against his pillow. He would be lying if he said the image Kerry had just painted didn’t make his dick twitch a little with excitement, but he could lie to himself and say that was just out of intrigue, not anything suspect. 

“Can show you next time we’re in the dressing room together,” Kerry hummed and stifled a yawn as he tucked his head into Johnny’s chest again, clearly fighting to stay awake. It was a battle they were both slowly losing now that they had warmed up. 

“Any excuse to whip your dick out for me, hm? You’re such a whore.” 
"Just tryin' to satiate your curiosity, girls would go crazy if you pierced your dick..." 
"You including yourself in that?"
"Mhm, course," Kerry hummed in response, his fingers tracing circles idly on Johnny's chest. "Think a nice frenum ladder...or maybe a dydoe? Haven't seen your dick, but I'm sure you've got the anatomy for it."
"Don't know what any of those words were, but I'll pass. If I couldn't use my dick for even a week, it'd be dire."
"Night City would fall," Kerry chuckled and gave a small yawn as he nuzzled into his chest

Moments like these were what made Johnny's heart race. He could deal with Kerry acting like a cat in heat trying to claw his way into his pants, that he was used to. This soft, sweet shit he knew only he saw? It was a mystery that Kerry couldn't hold down a boyfriend if he was this sweet on them. He wasn't even dating him and his heart was doing back flips. Normally people figure out their sexuality when they're hormonal teens, not at twenty. Though, Johnny thought that he had figured out his sexuality during the war: Straight as fuck, so maybe this was a rebirth, maybe changing his whole identity really...changed his whole identity.

Nevertheless, Johnny pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Kerry’s head, taking a second to breathe in the scent of his shampoo - he smelt like himself again, and what a wonderful thing that was. 

“G’night, Ker. Sweet dreams.”

***

It was like Kerry was another person around the rest of the band. It was a few days later, and they were getting ready for their first show of their tour. They being the crew, Johnny, and Kerry, the other members of Samurai were MIA. They all had an issue showing up on time, but Johnny was only ever on time when Kerry dragged him out of the apartment, every other time, he would show up seconds before the first song started.

Johnny was lying down on a shitty stained couch in the back of an appropriately shitty bar in Night City, tuning his guitar while Kerry paced around barking orders at the crew. Something about his guitar needing to be restrung because one of the new guys snapped a string while tuning it, and it was the only guitar he could do this specific song with. All Johnny was paying attention to was how anal he was being about the specific gauge of string, like yeah, it mattered, yeah he also had a preference, but he could back off just a little and trust them to do their jobs - of course, he bit his tongue on that one, he liked his bones where they were, didn't need Kerry rearranging them. 

“Is it their first fucking day?” Kerry practically growled at Johnny as he slammed the dressing room door shut. “How fucking hard is it to tune a basic ass electric? It’s not rocket science."

“Mm, do need to tune that one half a step down for that song…maybe they got confused…or distracted...” Johnny hummed calmly as he plucked down each string of his guitar, then back up with precision. He always found when Kerry got stressed, he became the level headed one, maybe to counteract, or maybe just because seeing him like that made his brain short circuit and go all blurry. “When are the others getting here?”

“I’m not their fucking manager, how the fuck should I know?” Kerry threw his hands up and flopped down onto the couch next to Johnny - who only just moved his legs in time to stop himself from being sat on. He pulled out his phone and flicked through his messages before announcing, “Denny and Henry ‘ill be here in five, Nancy’s caught up with some shit, don't know when she'll get here.”

“Vague and unhelpful.” Johnny put his feet up on Kerry’s lap and sat his guitar down to the side of the couch. “You gotta stop stressing. You’re the lead singer, not the band manager, don’t gotta organize shit or corral anyone, and you definitely don’t needa be yellin’ at the crew.”

“I know, I know…” he huffed as he idly rubbed Johnny’s leather clad calf. “Just…Fuck, Johnny, we’re gonna be stuck on a tour bus for like a whole month and they can’t even show up on time for the first fucking show?” 

“Full disclosure, Ker, if we didn’t live together I wouldn’t be here right now. Shit’s a wash, no one gives a fuck if we show up on time, just that we go out and play.” 
“I give a fuck, Johnny. I actually care about making music, unlike the rest of you assholes.” 

Johnny rolled his eyes and pulled his legs away to sit up on the couch. He moved close to Kerry, sitting sideways so his right knee and shin were fully pressed against him, while the other stayed firmly planted on the ground. 

“Why are you in this band?” Johnny asked bluntly, staring blankly at Kerry through his dark shades. "Why Samurai?"
“Told you, I like making music. Going out there and screaming my lungs out, shredding, it's unbeatable.”
“Try again. You’ve got talent, arguably more than anyone else in Samurai if we’re being honest. Sure, I’m amazing, but stage presence and performance aside, talking just raw skill, you’ve got me beat. So why Samurai? Why not go solo right now?” 

Kerry took a moment, narrowed his eyes at Johnny like it was a test, he didn’t hand out compliments this freely, and not to Kerry. If he was trying to stroke his ego, it was working, but Johnny had something better in mind, something that would circle back to him as all things should. 

“Uh…well…I guess...at the start, I just wanted to make music, and being in a band sounded like a cool way to get my name out there…” He looked to Johnny for validation that what he was saying was satisfactory, but he just raised his eyebrows for him to keep going. “Then…then we got signed, and it was like, fuck people actually like us, y’know? Like we could actually do shit together, make shit together that was worth listening to. And like…sure, once we got signed I could’ve pulled some scummy shit and dipped, God knows I've had offers, but I dunno…when I’m up on stage with you it’s like…it’s unreal. I can’t get that energy, that rush from a solo career.” 

“Impressive.” Johnny squeezed Kerry’s thigh and shot him a proud smirk. “You’re here for me, Denny and Henry are here for each other, me and Nance are here cause of some fucked up political agenda."

"Wait you and Nancy-" Kerry tried to get him to elaborate on the implication that neither of them liked anyone in the band, but Johnny was quick to cut him off, slamming his hand down on his thigh.

"Samurai’s never been about the music. That’s why everyone has shit work ethic, and why you’re the only one that gives a shit, you’re the only one who’s here for the right reasons, Ker-bear."
“Right reasons being making music, or…?”
“Nah, you’re here cause you’ve got a thing for me and that’s always the right reason.” 
“Go to Hell, Johnny,” Kerry laughed. 
"Trust me, already there."

Johnny was just about to lean in and give into the voice in his head that constantly told him to push Kerry’s buttons, get him all worked up right before the show. He always performed best when he was all hot and bothered. It would be so easy to just get up in his face, brush his lips over his skin, make him fucking sweat…what a shame his luck had ran out. The dressing room door clicked open.

“Sorry we’re late!” Denny’s voice came calling as she walked into the room and sat her bag down. She was closely followed by Henry who gave a small two finger salute as he made a beeline for the bathroom, probably to gum or inhale something. “Had to help Henry touch up his hair, and you know how traffic is... Any word from Nancy?”

“Nope.” Johnny shrugged and moved to put some distance between him and Kerry, much to his displeasure. It felt like they were being intruded on even though, in theory, there was nothing happening between them that was worth of intrusion. 

“I’m here, I’m here,” Nancy sounded exasperated when she pushed past Denny to get inside the dressing room. “Don’t ask, you don’t want to know.”
“Assure you, I do.” Johnny leant forward, resting his arms on his knees and peering at her over his shades. 
“Not now you don’t. Don’t need you storming off and getting shot. Be a good boy and focus on the show, not me.” 

Johnny let out a sigh and leaned back into the couch, at least when they were on the road he wouldn’t have to worry about Nancy getting into any trouble - or himself for that matter. All he would have is the normal band drama, and whatever the fuck was happening between him and Kerry. 

***

It wasn’t that this was the best show they had ever done, or that it was the first time Johnny and Kerry stole the show with their looks, and physical touches, and in between song banter…it was just different this time, because Johnny was actually paying attention to how it felt this time. Kerry was right, it was a rush, more so, it was a rush because it was him, not because of the crowd or the music. Playing was great, screaming into the crowd was awesome, but looking over and seeing Kerry smirking at him while belting their lyrics? Unmatched. 

After the show, Johnny convinced Kerry to skip the partying and go straight back to the apartment. As much as they both could benefit with a night out, they had to be awake and up by 8:30 to get on the tour bus. For the first time in months, instead of coming back at entirely different times with complete strangers, Johnny and Kerry walked through their apartment door together. 

“Gonna shower in the morning, I’m fucking beat,” Kerry groaned, toeing off his boots at the door

“Speaking of disaster situations that’ll make this night suck, does it feel colder tonight than any other time this week? Swear it’s warmer outside,” Johnny complained, walking off to his bedroom to get undressed. 

He sat down on the edge of his bed and took off his boots before pulling his shirt off, shivering at the cold air hitting his skin. Night City was in the desert, there was no reason for it to be so frigid. The only window in their apartment was in constant shade from the neighboring scrapers, making the days only slightly warmer than the nights.

Johnny got up to pull his leather pants off, only to see Kerry leaning against the door frame, looking on expectantly. 

“That an invite, rockerboy?” Kerry grinned
“As much of one as you’re gonna get.”

Kerry looked proud of himself as he disappeared to his room to get changed into something more comfortable. Leather is all fun and games until you wake up with sweat pooling everywhere and chaffing balls. Johnny changed into a pair of dark brown sweats and a black tank top, then laid down on his back in bed, processing everything - but also simultaneously trying his best to avoid the elephant in the room. He was getting awfully comfortable around Kerry, and it was dangerously close to the kind of comfort he had reserved for girls like Rogue - an almost courtship. He didn’t want that though. He didn’t want Kerry. He didn’t want to date him, or to fuck him, or anything. He just found comfort in cuddling him, and sometimes thought about kissing him, and sometimes they kissed each other on the cheek or head, but that was  just being nice to each other in a shitty city full of people who weren't nice to each other, it was an act of rebellion.

Always right on cue, Kerry came back in a pair of gray sweats and a loose black Samurai t-shirt. How did he look pretty in literally anything? Johnny pulled the sheets back to expose his chest down to his thighs, and gestured his head for Kerry to come over. He was playing with fucking fire. Kerry seemed to know better and, knowing this was a careful situation, stayed silent. He climbed onto the bed and straddled his hips, planting his hands on the warm expanse of his chest. Pretty. Kerry was so fucking pretty. He never had trouble imagining why people wanted him so badly, it didn’t take a genius to see it, but from this angle…feeling Kerry in his lap…it was the first time he really got why guys were always so reluctant to let him go after they had him. 

Johnny ran his hands up Kerry’s clothed thighs, over his hips, to his perky ass. He grabbed his ass hard and gave a rock of his hips up in perfect timing, just like he would do to a chick. Kerry moaned softly above him, his lips parting as he pushed down against Johnny. 

“Fuck…Johnny…” Kerry leant down and placed gentle kisses along the side of Johnny’s neck, feeling his beard rubbing against the side of his face. 

“Little pent up? Been awhile since you’ve had a dick in you?” Johnny rocked his hips up into Kerry’s ass, feeling his cock harden as it rubbed against him through the thin fabric of their sweatpants. He had never considered fucking anyone in the ass before, let alone a guy, let alone Kerry. He doubted tonight would be the night for that, he needed some warming up to this whole thing, but fuck did this make him want to for the first time in his life. He was employing a lot of cognitive dissonance to pretend Kerry was just another chick, and not his best friend and roommate, who was definitely a dude.

Kerry whined softly, gently, as he practically humped Johnny, he was clearly feeling needy right now. It must have been a lot to finally get his way after fantasizing about it for so long.

“That’s not an answer, princess.” He slapped his ass hard with his ‘ganic hand and Kerry groaned against his neck, his teeth grazing just below his ear. He pulled back to look down at Johnny, his fingers digging into his tank top.

"Johnny! Fuck-- Been days since I've had dick..." he tried again, in his best, most seductively sweet voice. "Need your cock..."

Johnny tugged at Kerry’s waist band until he snapped back to reality and lifted himself up to help get them off. The cold chill in the room didn’t seem to be affecting either of them anymore now that their blood was flowing. 

Johnny’s eyes shamelessly drifted as Kerry busied himself with tearing his shirt off. There was one loud thought in his head: How can a cock be pretty? Johnny wasn’t into dick, he had never seen another guy’s dick in person, but he was never into the thought of them, Kerry was just...every inch of him was breathtaking, and that hoop piercing on his tip...Goddamnit...there was no doubt Kerry could feel how hard Johnny was underneath him. He pulled himself to sit up when Kerry's shirt came off just so he could kiss his chest and avoid looking at his pretty little cock any longer. His hands settled on his lower back as he swiped his tongue over his hard nipple, tonguing at his barbell piercing. He gently bit him, worrying the skin between his teeth.

"Fuck, Johnny~!" Kerry moaned, his hand shooting to grab the back of Johnny's head as he arched his back, pushing his chest into him. "Fucking need you- Fuck me, put your cock in my mouth- Fuck, I'll take just jacking you off, I need--" Kerry’s head fell back with a moan, his grip in his hair loosening. Johnny easily took the opportunity to flip Kerry onto his back on his bed. He looked downright sinful splayed out on his back, his hard cock laying on his stomach, dripping precum around the silver ring. Johnny made a show of pulling off his tank top, and slipped out of his sweatpants, his massive hard cock finally free.

“Holy shit…” Kerry pulled himself up onto his elbows the second Johnny's pants came down. “You weren’t kidding…impressive's an understatement…” 

“Not too bad yourself,” Johnny shrugged nonchalantly, trying his best to remain calm and collected despite all the conflicting thoughts and feelings in his head. He had no idea what he was doing, he was just making all of this up as he went along. It was always so casual and easy with chicks, he didn’t know how to interact around a guy like this. He felt like a fucking virgin, staring down at Kerry through hooded eyes like he knew that he was meant to be taking the reigns, meant to be fucking him hard like he was a cheap whore, just like he liked it, but he couldn't...he didn't know how.

Kerry must have picked up on Johnny's hesitation, how much time had passed for him to notice? He hummed as he ran his hand up Johnny's thigh, his gaze was soft, he held Johnny's 'ganic wrist.

“Here, spit on your hand for me," Kerry suggested, though he could see by Johnny's raised eyebrow that he wasn't buying it. "Trust me?” 

Johnny furrowed his brows together, in a mix of confusion and hesitation. He wasn’t used to being told what to do during sex, but he supposed this was just Kerry very softly telling him exactly what he liked so that if this ever happened again he wouldn’t hesitate. It was strange, but Johnny could swallow his pride for a second, and did what he was asked to do and spat on his palm.

Kerry practically purred in delight then guided his hand to wrap around both of their hard cocks. Thankfully, he didn’t have to be asked what to do from there, and steadily stroked their lengths together. It felt so strange, the drag of another man's dick against his own, Kerry's piercing rubbing against his shaft, it was so weird, but holy fucking shit did it feel so fucking good. Better than jacking off alone at least.

“Per-perfect…fuck, Johnny…your cock…you feel so good…” Kerry moaned as he let himself fall back into the mattress, slowly rocking his hips with every pump until he was practically fucking Johnny’s hand. Johnny groaned and grunted, as his pace quickened. So much for not being into dudes, his heart was racing so fast it could beat right out his chest. 

As he dipped his head to kiss, nip, and bite his exposed neck and chest, Kerry’s hand found its way to the back of Johnny’s head to massage and pull on his roots with little more than pure desperation. He could tell he wanted more, always did, he was insaitable. Kerry was the kind of guy that didn’t consider a night successful unless he was bruised and fucked to the point of passing out. It pained Johnny to know he couldn’t get him what he wanted, at least not right now. One step at a time, nice and slow, if Kerry wasn’t happy with the pace Johnny was letting him in, that was his fucking problem. 

Thing was though, Kerry seemed to be perfectly content, and that was almost worse. He was letting out such cute little soft sounds with every drag of Johnny’s hand, and little gasps when Johnny’s teeth brushed his skin. Those noises…Johnny didn’t even know he was capable of making them. Whenever Kerry had anyone over it sounded like two lions fucking mauling each other, all grunts and cries and aggressive slapping of skin. He wasn’t meant to be this soft. 

“Still-Still with me?” Kerry’s tired voice cut through the fog of his mind, he opened his mouth to say something, but his throat didn’t want to make a sound that wasn't a groan. He settled for nipping at his ear lobe.

“So close, Johnny…gonna cum…fuck…” His voice was so quiet Johnny almost didn’t hear his warning, but his body gave it away - those little frantic thrusts sent a message loud and clear. Johnny dug his teeth into the side of Kerry’s neck, his tongue massaging his soft skin he sucked hard enough to undoubtedly mark him. That was all it took to push Kerry over the edge. He felt his cock tense in his hand and his cum splatter over both of them. It was so sudden without being able to feel the build up himself. He gave a small grunt and pulled back up, placing his fingers on his neck to admire his work.

Kerry’s cock fell from his grip and he continued to pump his dick above him, biting his lip and looking down on his form with the curiosity of a virgin. Fuck. He wasn’t meant to be like this. He should’ve been forcing Kerry to suck him off or some shit, not jacking himself off above him. 

“So fuckin’ hot on your back, gotta be your best angle,” Johnny grunted, panting softly as his head fell back. He didn’t dare look down when he felt Kerry’s hands run up his sides, or felt his lips kissing down his chest to his stomach. 

“Want you to cum on my face...” Kerry purred against his skin, his nose pressed to his pelvic bone. “Gotta be close...c’mon...need it...” 

Johnny shouldn’t have looked down, that image was going to be ingrained in his brain until the day that he died. Kerry’s big blown out eyes gazing up at him through his heavy eyelids, his red lips grazing his skin, the gentle rise and fall of his shoulders…all amplified by Johnny’s cock being dangerously fucking close to his face, it would be so easy to shove in Kerry’s mouth, but fuck, could he even take something that big? Most chicks had trouble with it, then again, Kerry probably got more dick than anyone in Night City…ugh, now was not the time for that thought experiment. Kerry was right, Johnny was close, he could get a blow job another night. 

He tugged on Kerry’s hair with his metal hand to pull him into position. The greedy little slut obeyed perfectly, even opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue. Johnny swore he could hear him whimper in anticipation. There was no hope for him. With a sight like that...Johnny instantly reached his climax. He pumped his cock, milking himself as his hot seed painted Kerry’s beautiful face. That was one thing he was practiced in. He managed to get most of it in his mouth and on his tongue, but he did splatter some across his cheek and chin just for good measure. Fuck, he got it now, this was why guys always used Kerry like a cheap joytoy, he looked so good, he was so good, all fucked out and whimpering over what surmounted to a hand job and getting painted. It was nothing, but he was so easy to please. 

“Fuck, Kerry…” Johnny was breathless as Kerry wiped his face on his hand and made a show out of licking it clean of his cum. He fell back onto Johnny’s bed with a happy sigh. 

“Need a cigarette and a towel,” Kerry hummed nonchalantly and made no effort to get up, or even try to glance around for those things himself. “Pretty good for your first time, gotta admit, though it pains me to.” 

“Careful. Keep talking like that and you’ll get that cigarette put out on your tongue.” It was an empty threat, but it managed to get the message across well enough. It was at least good to know that Kerry was still a god at killing the moment. Johnny gave him a playful slap on the outer thigh as he got up from his bed. He found a towel, most likely dirty but not unusably so, on the floor and threw it to Kerry who effortlessly caught it in one hand and started cleaning himself up. 

“Can I be an asshole and ask one other thing while you’re up?” Kerry asked, his tone saccharine and pleading. 

Johnny sighed from the doorway, leaning against it with a huff as he turned to look at Kerry. “You’re always an asshole. What do you want?” 

“There’s a Samurai hoodie on my bed, can you grab it for me? Already starting to feel the cold. Might freeze up and die.”
“Just wear one of mine.”
“Nah, this one’s sentimental. Accidentally stole it from a groupie couple years back, it’s like three sizes too big, practically fucking swimming in it, so comfy.”

“How do you accidentally steal from- fuck it, don’t wanna know.” Johnny threw his arms up as he left the room. Kerry’s room was a fucking nightmare. Coffee cups, energy drink cans, and take out containers covered his bedside table and shelves. Discarded clothes covered the floor, along with crumbled up pieces of paper and open journals and notepads filled with lyrics and badly drawn guitar tabs. Johnny let out an annoyed groan as he located the oversized hoodie on his unmade bed and made his way back to his bedroom. Kerry was right where he left him, lying on the bed staring off into space and tapping his fingers in a steady beat on his stomach. “Here.” Johnny tossed him the hoodie and grabbed his own discarded clothes from the bedroom floor. 

“Ah, thanks, man.” Kerry sat up to pull the black hoodie over his head. It looked so warm, and he was right, it was way too big for him but that made him look so small…almost cute. Disgusting. 

Once he was back in his sweatpants and tank top, Johnny climbed into bed next to Kerry - who almost immediately curled up into his side. He slotted in there so perfectly, it was like their bodies were made for each other…in a way that was completely not gay of him to notice. Fuck, it was one thing to jack a dude off, it was another thing entirely to cuddle afterwards, he didn’t even want to think about how his body was reacting, how his limbs softened around Kerry’s frame, or how his heart was fluttering, shit he rarely felt like this in those quiet peaceful moments he had with Rogue and she was a fucking dream - more importantly to him right now, she was a chick, Kerry wasn’t. Johnny was straight, that he was sure of, he was just fucking around. 

"Here," Johnny plucked a cigarette out of the carton on his nightstand and handed it to Kerry, along with a lighter, and a makeshift ashtray fashion out of half a soda can. He held his cigarette between his lips as he waited for Kerry.

"Thanks, you're a lifesaver." Kerry flicked the lighter and pulled on the cigarette as he lit it up, gently exhaling as he passed the lighter to Johnny. He followed suit and lit his, then tossed the lighter onto his nightstand haphazardly. He wrapped an arm around Kerry's shoulder to keep him nice and close as they smoked in a comfortable silence. Once they finished their cigs, Johnny offered him some water and they cuddled up to fall asleep.

It was always so easy to fall asleep with Kerry in his arms. Falling asleep to the quiet drum of his heart beating against his chest always made the whole world melt away. It didn’t matter what was going on with the band, or in the world, didn’t matter what his old army bros would think about him, or what his parents would say about it, all that mattered was Kerry, and how fucking perfect he was.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Johnny found himself smoking a cigarette outside Henry’s shitty house out in the Eastern Wastelands on the border of the city as he carried bags and equipment into the tour bus. 

“You allergic to manual labor or some shit?” Nancy asked, seeming to materialize next to him. With her own lit cigarette, she took a drag and leant her back up against the bus. 

“Long night. You gonna tell me about yesterday yet, or are we still being dark and mysterious?” 

“That explains why Kerry’s passed out on the bus. You two need to move out of that apartment, or get the heating fixed.” Her eyes stayed planted firmly ahead, clearly processing. They both had their secrets they were avoiding talking about, it was weird for them not to tell each other everything. Being the original members of Samurai, they bonded over their shared goal of destroying Arasaka and ridding the world of corps and capitalism. Nancy was just a little more…proactive about the cause, and liked pointing Johnny's rage at her enemies. “Might be the last tour we do together. Working on something. Have to leave town."

“Sounds fun. Count me in.” He took a long drag, focusing on the way the smoke filled his lungs instead of the gravity of Nancy’s words. She was his rock. There was no way he would survive without her. On his darkest, coldest nights, she was always there to lend an ear and tell him to pick himself back up.

“No, Johnny,” she was quick to shut him down. “I’ve got help, I’ll…I’ll be fine. Don’t wanna get you caught up in my bullshit.” 

Nancy took a deep breath and put out her cigarette on the side of the bus. She turned to face him with a softness that he rarely saw from her. “Right now, I need you right where you are. Not getting into messy shit for me.” 

“Johnny! Nancy!" Henry's grating voice called out from the bus door. "Hate to break up the girl talk, but we gotta fucking delta, get your asses on the bus!”

“Nance...” Johnny started as he flicked his cigarette butt onto the ground, trying to find the right words to get her to stay.

“I know, Johnny, I know.” She smiled softly and reached out to give his arm a soft pat. “Next time, alright? Someone’s gotta stop Kerry from having a breakdown while I’m gone.” 

When he followed Nancy onto the bus, he instinctively sat down next to Kerry (who was indeed passed out with his head on the small booth table by the couches.) It was hard to make clear the blurred lines between them after how weird things had been the last few days, and especially after how weird things were last night. If they were the only people on the bus, Johnny would wrap an arm around him, hold his close, let him cuddle up to him and keep sleeping, but they weren’t alone. To the rest of the band, Johnny and Kerry were just reluctant roommates that liked putting on a show for the fans because it helped get teenage girls into their music and those were the best people to sell merch to, but didn’t actually like each other all that much, in the same way that Johnny didn’t actually like Henry or Denny all that much. Samurai was a fucking shit show. 

The bus jerked as the driver started pulling out of Henry’s driveway. Kerry groaned as he was very suddenly pushed into Johnny, who, ever the asshole in public, grumpily shoved him back against the window with a rough thud. 

“Asshole,” Kerry huffed angrily and picked himself up from the table, curling up into the window instead. It seemed safer, and it was definitely the right choice, because after that talk with Nancy he was ready to drop kick someone. When he first got to Night City, when he changed from Robert Linder to Johnny fucking Silverhand, he was so full of hate and rage. Nancy saw the potential in him, and helped channel that rage into something that mattered, something that seemed like a worthy cause for both of them. Both of them. Yet here she was, talking about how she was up and leaving, that she was going alone, that everything she had built him up for was for nothing because she could just do it alone, because he had to stay and make sure Kerry didn’t deep throat a fucking revolver, and for some reason that was Johnny’s problem. Ugh, fuck. It was Johnny’s problem. No one else cared for Kerry the way Johnny did. From the moment they met, he knew he had to look out for him. This city was harsh, and mean, and Kerry…soft, sweet Kerry…it would chew him up and spit out his bones the first chance it got. He always told himself that was why he didn’t like him going out on his own all the time, all it would take is the wrong person getting their hands on him to fucking destroy him. How he had made it to 19 was a mystery. 

“Okay, so!” Henry clapped his hands together, ripping Johnny away from his infuriating thoughts. He lifted his gaze from where he had been glaring at Kerry to meet Henry, who had sat down on the other side of the table. “Me and Denny were talking schedule for today. It’s what…10:25? By my estimate we should get to L.A around 1;30 or 2, we can stop for lunch there, stretch our legs, pick up the roadies from their hotel. Then if we’re lucky make San Diego by 4, chill in the hotel, get dinner, sound check and set up at 7, then we’re on at 9. Sound good?” 

“Who died and put the chronically late asshole in charge of the schedule?” Johnny grumbled, sitting back in his seat if only to force more distance between him and Henry. 

“Well, since Ker-bear’s out cold, figure we’d sort shit ourselves instead of waiting for you to wake up enough to be useful. Don’t know what whore you were fucking last night that managed to keep both of you awake, but you gotta pick quieter chicks or get your bed away from that shared wall. Don’t need your dick keeping him up, we kinda need him for the show.”

“I was quiet, he’s just a fucking brat who can’t sleep unless everything’s perfect. Heating’s still busted.” It wasn’t a complete lie, the heating was broken, and Kerry was generally a brat, but there definitely was a reason for Kerry’s tiredness that he couldn’t talk about. 

“Hate to hear it,” he unsympathetically hummed, clearly not caring, and already looking away from Johnny. “Gonna hang with Denny out back, if you need us…um, don’t?” 

Johnny shot him a patronizing thumbs up as he watched him follow Denny to the back of the bus, passed the bunk beds where there was another larger seating area, and conveniently an almost soundproof door that closed them off from the rest of the bus. It was crazy that they thought they were being sly or secretive about their relationship, but Johnny also realized his own hypocrisy. He spared a glance around the bus to make sure he could see that Nancy was in one of the bunks with the soundproof curtain closed.

“Hey…Ker…” Johnny whispered softly as he trailed his metal hand up his spine. They were both still wearing the clothes they had slept in, having not woken up early enough to shower like they wanted to. Kerry looked like he was trying to completely bury himself in his hoodie to avoid their band mates, or maybe just Johnny. Still, he groaned softly and shifted, which was enough of an invite for Johnny to move over until his leg was pressed against his. 

“What d’you want?” Kerry groaned quietly, nuzzling into his hands that were protecting his face from the cold wall of the bus. 

“Just checkin’ in," Johnny made sure to keep his voice down as he spoke, "you not sleep? Thought you were out cold all night.” He checked over his shoulder then with a sigh, then leant over and rested his chin on Kerry’s shoulder. He would excuse it as just wanting to be close enough to talk quietly without anyone overhearing, but he was fooling himself. There was no excuse for having his body pressed that close to another man. It made him feel sick.

“Slept fine once I got to sleep.” Kerry pulled his head away from the window with a confused look and reached for Johnny’s ‘ganic wrist. He almost stopped him, almost pulled away, almost stuck to his guns, but it was too late for that. He guided him to wrap his arm around his waist and when he let go to put his hand back between his face and the window, he actually felt Johnny relax for once that day. “Was the shit before sleeping, and waking up before 9am that’s got me exhausted.” 

“That tired you out?” Johnny asked with surprise, a tinge of pride in his voice. 

“Don’t flatter yourself. I’m easy, and I’ve been trying to get to you for like…four years at least, lotta build up. Woulda tried to get a round two, and three, and five outta ya if it weren’t for the early call time.” 
“Shit, guess we gotta make up for it in San Diego then, won’t we?” 
“Depends if you’ve got any energy left after the concert. Don’t throw your voice out, or get injured...we’re golden.” 
“If I’ve got energy? You’re falling asleep on a tour bus sofa - not even in a bunk. That’s like a recipe for getting fucked with, but you're so tired you don't give a shit,” Johnny scoffed and nuzzled his nose against Kerry’s cheek with a bright grin
“Tryin’ to fall asleep. Some asshole’s keepin’ me awake.” Kerry shrugged Johnny off his shoulder playfully, and taking the hint, he pulled his body away. “Henry and Denny are busy making out, and Nancy’s dealing with her top secret shit. You’re the only one who can fuck with me, and you won’t.”
"When you’re right, you’re right. I’m gonna go claim the other middle bunk and pretend the rest of you fucks don’t exist until we get to L.A.” 

Johnny got up from the sofa, but paused for a moment to look over Kerry, he was right, no one was gonna fuck with him. Even the roadies knew not to fuck with Kerry, that was like an unspoken rule. If anyone did, well, that was an easy way to get Johnny to bash your face in while the others stood by telling you you did it to yourself. The sound of a bunk curtain opening drew Johnny’s attention to the hallway, where he saw Nancy sitting, her legs dangling down from the center middle bunk. 

“Enny for your thoughts?” She asked as she, in a manner that would be awkward for anyone else, stretched her arms out and above her head outside the bunk while remaining perfectly balanced on the edge. 

“Nah…nothing important,” Johnny dismissed. He grabbed his bag from the front lounge area and tossed it onto the middle bunk opposite Nancy. 

“Mm. Know you too well for that to work, Johnny,” she pressed. She reached over next to them and slid the door closed that separated the hall from the front lounge. It wasn’t completely soundproof, but it gave a little bit of privacy that was impossible to get on the road. Kept them safe from Kerry's prying ears, and would hopefully let him get some rest. “I can tell when something’s eating away at you. You’ve been…absent.” 

“My sincerest apologies, but you haven’t exactly been here either.” Johnny’s jaw felt impossibly tense as he unpacked his pillow and set up his bunk. He had a small brown pouch that suctioned to the side of the bunk. He shoved his shades into it along with a bottle of sleep meds, pain killers, and some kind of synth weed vaporizer. 

“Wish I could be here more, tell you more, but you know how this shit is.” There was a moment of silence as Nancy formulated just how she could try and break through. “Is it Rogue again, or one of the other girls? I don’t know why you put yourself through that shit, you could easily settle down with anyone you want if you just committed instead of fucking–” 

Johnny turned on his heels and suddenly his hands were on either side of Nancy’s legs, gripping the edge of the bunk with white knuckles. He was so close she could feel his breath. 

“Ain’t about some chick, Nance. Don’t fucking talk to me about commitment when you can’t even commit to our fucking vision,” Johnny’s words were slick with venom, spoken through clenched teeth. “S’posed to be the two of us fighting the good fight, takin’ down corpo trash together, now you’re up and abandoning us for some shit you can’t even talk about? Fucking bullshit, Nancy. That’s what’s on my fucking mind, that’s what’s fucking bothering me.” 

Nancy’s eyes narrowed at the edges, searching for something in Johnny’s eyes, something he was keeping from her. She knew him longer than anyone else, had met him right when he got to the city after losing his arm in the war, she knew when he was telling the whole truth, just part of it. 

“There’s something else. You're hiding something.”
“So are you,” he challenged, holding her gaze

“Yeah, damn right I am,” Nancy sighed softly. She pulled back from him enough to cross her legs up on the bed. Johnny pulled back as well, his expression softening when her gaze dropped to her lap. “No big gig, no act of defiance against Araska or Militech...meant what I said about it making you angry though.” 

“Nancy…what are you planning?” 

“After the tour’s done, I’m leaving my husband. He’s been...physical with me lately, can’t deal with it anymore. He’s not just gonna let me leave...shit might get rough, gotta do it alone, then delta the fuck out. Didn’t wanna stress any of you out. You’ve got enough to deal with without getting involved in my shit.” 

“Holy shit.” Johnny shook his head in disbelief, letting her words hang there for a moment. “You’re right, fuckin’ pisses me off. Guy like that thinks he can treat anyone like that? Let alone you? Pisses me off…you’re expecting a mess? Let me know what I can do to clean it up. Always in your corner, Nancy, always.” 

“Thanks, Johnny…I’ll...I’ll get through it. Gonna be rough, but I've been through worse.” Nancy took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled, she never was one to let her emotions get the better of her. “Your turn, quid-pro-quo, asshole,” she joked with a shaky laugh. 

"Slept with Kerry last night," He admitted bluntly. There was no point skirting around it. If he had to tell anyone, Nancy was a good person to tell. She never judged him for any of the stupid shit he did. “Been weird before that, he kept being all…Kerry, just kinda gave in to him, let him crawl into my bed like a stray cat.”

"And? Only a matter of time before it happened. You're both young, attractive guys, what's got you so in your head about it?"

Johnny sighed deeply and turned around to lean his back against her side of the bunks while running a hand through his hair. “I'm not gay. Never wanted to sleep with any guy before, but then he was in my lap, kissing my neck, grinding on me, and suppose there’s no fighting biology at that point, right?” 

"Mm, sure, friction's friction, and Kerry's attractive..." She hummed, clearly skirting around something. "Would it be the end of the world if it wasn't just friction though?"
"Don't like what you're implying there, Nance."
"Kerry's bi, y'know, just has a strong preference for guys. You could be bi and have a really strong preference for girls, or maybe you're just into Kerry."

"Maybe." Johnny let out a deep sigh and groaned as he pushed himself off the bunks. "Thanks for the therapy sesh, Nance. Gonna try get some rest. Wake me when we get to L.A.?"

"Course. Rest up, Johnny."

***

Johnny woke up to a rhythmic knock outside his bunk. He groaned and pulled the curtain open, his heart twisted when he saw Kerry standing there wearing jeans and a white shirt - it made him feel comparatively under-dressed in his grubby sweat pants and sweat stained black tank top.

"Stopped for lunch, and t' grab the crew. Others are outside already," there was something off about Kerry's voice. Something was wrong. Good thing that didn't seem like Johnny's fucking problem right now. With a grunt, he pulled himself up and out of the bunk, his bones screaming as he rolled his back.

"You get any sleep?" Johnny asked as he searched his drawer for jeans and his signature Samurai tank, along with his dog tags
"Yeah, back's killing me, but I'll live."

Kerry turned away with a quiet scoff when Johnny pulled shirt off to get changed. Now, that was weird. He normally had to try not to stare at his body, now he was actively avoiding it and sounded annoyed in the process. What the fuck happened between Night City and Los Angeles that made him so fucking pissy?

"Gonna have a smoke. See you out there, Johnny."

When Johnny looked up from pulling his jeans on, Kerry was gone. He tried to peer out the window to see what was happening, but from that angle all he could see was the gas station they were parked out. He exhaled a sigh and put his shades on before stepping out. There were very few things that ever got Kerry pissed off at him, but Johnny had been out cold, there was no way he could've done any of the usual things like fucking a girl in the common area of their apartment, or 'accidentally' starting a riot at a show. He was raking his brain for anything, the only thing it could maybe be was if he had overheard him talking to Nancy, but as fair as he remembered he didn't say anything that could have upset him. From what he recalled, he was actually not as much of an asshole as he wanted to be.

With a sigh, Johnny ran a hand through his hair. His gaze lifted to the group standing outside as his foot hit the parking lot, and...yeah...that...fuck.

Standing outside talking to the small group of roadies, in tight jeans and a black security t-shirt; Hell in heels herself, Rogue Amendiares

Chapter Text

"You know I hate surprises." Johnny took a sip of his coffee and settled back in the uncomfortable booth seat at the shittiest diner in California. Rogue sat opposite to him, her finger tracing the lip of her coffee cup, while the rest of the band (bar Kerry and Nancy who were outside smoking) sat with their new roadies at a large booth on the opposite side of the room. They all understood that the two sort-of-ex lovers needed space, even if that space made Johnny feel like a cornered animal.

This wasn't how this was supposed to go, she wasn't meant to be here. Shit was complicated enough with Kerry, he didn't need more shit on top of it. Especially when that shit clearly made Kerry so miserable.

"If I told you I was hired to run security, you would've cancelled the show," Rogue explained
"I go on tour to get away from the bullshit in Night City, not have it follow me," Johnny practically growled
"Jesus Christ, Johnny," she scoffed. "Can you try not being a dick for two seconds so we can actually talk about this?"
"The fuck is there to talk about?"

Rogue's face contorted with rage, she was about to open her mouth to say something but only sighed. She took a sip of her coffee to calm herself down, giving herself a valuable moment to collect her thoughts. She clearly had something she wanted to get out of this, and arguing wasn't going to get them anywhere.

"Last time I saw you, you were balls deep in some blonde backstage at a gig, high off your ass on black lace."
"Mhm," Johnny agreed nonchalantly, "you shouted something about me bein' a piece of shit and ran off. Tried to follow you, but you were already gone."
"You knew where to find me, if you actually gave a shit. Still waiting on an apology."

"Fuck, Rogue-" Johnny leaned his elbows on the table, ramping up to say some bullshit about how he did care, despite all the evidence to the contrary.

Rogue just held up a hand to stop him from making it worse. 

"How's your new input? What was her name...Katelyn? Katherine?" She hummed, looking off into the distance to try and think
"The girl from the gig? Katya. She's not my new input."
"So you do have a new input?" She asked with a raised eyebrow, like he had just admitted something he shouldn't have

Johnny took a deep breath and looked outside to where Kerry was sitting on a park bench laughing and talking to Nancy. He had a cigarette to his lips and a takeaway coffee cup in his hand. He looked so fucking happy. When their eyes met, his pretty smile softly dropped. He raised his hand in loose, non-committal acknowledgement. He took a drag, and looked back at Nancy. Johnny's eyes returned to Rogue.

"No," he answered definitively. "You know no one could ever replace you."
"Mm. Do I know that?" She asked, "sounds like a really pretty lie."
"I'm sorry, Rogue, I mean it. Never meant to hurt you. I should've gone to Atlantis, should've found you, but when shit gets hard I just run."
"What was hard about loving me?"

Those words made Johnny's heart sink.

"Nothing. It was so fucking easy, that's what made it so fucking hard. Was so scared I was gonna hurt you, felt like whatever I did I was gonna hurt you." Those words came from his heart, but he knew it was a confession made for someone else.

"I love you, Rogue, I mean that." Johnny reached out across the table and laid his hands out flat, palms facing the sky in prayer - or just in surrender. "You're worth the world, and I know I don't deserve a second chance after the shit that I've pulled, but you gotta believe that I've changed. Been through a lot of shit the passed couple days, really made me think about...fuck, about everything. I wanna be with you, Rogue."

It was a pretty lie. Johnny knew being with Rogue wasn't the easy decision now or in the long term - the easy choice would be to tell her to go fuck herself and run of with Kerry, adopt a hypoallergenic dog, and brew their own wine or whatever the fuck queer dudes did. He couldn't do that though, he couldn't be with Kerry, it just wasn't right. He was okay and fine with everyone else being gay and living their own lives, but Johnny Silverhand wasn't gay. He knew in some other universe, some other city, he could be happy with Kerry, but he could be happy with Rogue too. He could learn to be happy with her.

His words hung in the air for what felt like an eternity before Rogue placed her hands in his, in a show of faith - or surrender. They both knew this was a sinking ship, but they were resigned to going down together.

"One last chance. You pull that shit again, and I'll castrate you myself. Got it?"
"Loud and clear, darlin'" he agreed with a wink and a grin.

When they made their way outside after finishing their lunch, Johnny completely avoided looking at Kerry and Nancy. He didn't need to look at them to feel their disappointment. He knew he was letting them down just as much as he was letting himself down. In another life, he wouldn't have his arm around Rogue as they walked back to the bus. In another life, he wouldn't be so scared of hurting Kerry that he avoided him completely. In another life, he would be happy.

"Johnny? You listening to me?" Rogue's voice cut through all the noise in his head. They were standing in the bunk hall, her hand softly in his. She sighed in annoyance and turned to him. "Asked if you mind me taking the bunk above yours? Only other one is the bottom bunk right next to the bathroom, and I don't really want to listen to people piss when I'm trying to sleep."

"Yeah, that's all good. You okay with pulling yourself up there? Don't mind switching with you."
"Aw, what a gentleman," she cooed patronizingly, "I'll be fine. Wouldn't want to get in between you and Kerry."

Ah, of course Kerry took the bunk below him. He always took a bottom bunk so he could just fall into bed when he was tired instead of hoisting himself up onto the middle or top bunk. Being specifically under Johnny? There wasn't a heterosexual explanation for that, but they sometimes liked to hold hands when they couldn't fall asleep, or just wanted to touch each other without getting out of bed. Maybe sharing a bed back home was for more than the warmth, if they were being completely honest with themselves.

Johnny waited for Rogue to get her things sorted before going to the front lounge where everyone was hanging out watching TV and talking. The minute Rogue sat down next to him on the L-shaped couch, Kerry got up and silently walked to the back of the bus. Usually once the roadies were staying on the bus, that's when the fun started, they had a whole tradition of starting a video game tournament and planning a big outing to kick start the tour. Kerry was always into that kind of shit. Apparently not today though.

"What's his problem?" Henry asked with a scoff, looking down the hall to where Kerry had already closed the door to the bunks hall.
"I'll go talk-" Johnny started, only for Nancy to get up and follow after Kerry for him

Great. He had been completely replaced.

"God, what I'd give to be a fly on the wall for that conversation..." Rogue hummed, idly running her hand over Johnny's denim clad thigh. "Trouble in paradise?"

***

The best part of touring was getting off the bus and moving to the hotel room for the night. It wasn't anything fancy, just a queen sized bed in a small hotel room with an alright view of the city, but after being cramped in a bus all day it might as well have been heaven. After throwing his bag on the floor,  Johnny went straight to stretch out on the middle of the bed.

"You hungry?" Rogue asked, coming out of the small bathroom
"Probably just gonna snack during sound test. You?" Johnny asked, his voice sounding tired as he rest his hands behind his head.
"I can eat while you're on stage." She shrugged

Rogue walked over to the bed and effortlessly straddled his hips in a way that seemed all too familiar. He hummed happily as she ran her hands up his chest. She leaned down and softly placed a kiss to her lips. Her lips were soft, she tasted sweet, but it didn't feel the same as it did in the past.

"If we're not getting dinner, we've got three hours to kill..." She hummed, her lips brushing against his
"What you got planned?" He purred, his 'ganic hand running up the back of her thigh to land a hard smack against her ass
"Ah! Fuck, Johnny," she moaned and lifted her head so he could kiss and drag his teeth along her throat. "Wanna put your filthy mouth to use, baby, then bend me over and fuck me."

Johnny didn't need to be asked twice. Sure, his head was swimming with thoughts about his best friend, but Rogue was hot as shit, and he was only human. At least it could be a good distraction.

"Think I can manage that." Johnny punctuate his sentence with a thrust of his hips.

Rogue sat up on his hips and rocked her hips slowly as she pulled her shirt up over her head. Johnny groaned at the sight of her lean, muscular body. She was drop dead fucking gorgeous. He felt her thighs as he leant up and kissed all across her exposed chest. Her fingers ran through his hair and gently massaged his scalp as he bit and sucked bruises into her soft skin. His hands snaked up her back and undid the clasps of her bra, freeing her perky breasts. His mouth dipped to tongue at her nipple, and was rewarded instantly by her nails digging into his scalp.

"Johnny..." she softly moaned and pulled him back away from her. She kissed him passionately then got off him to lay down next to him on the bed, her eyes hooded and waiting.

Johnny immediately took the hint and positioned himself between her legs. He unzipped her jeans and, with her help, slid them down, discarding them on the floor. She moaned sweetly as his metal fingers rubbed the front of her damp panties, her legs spreading for him. He hummed with satisfaction and dipped his head to pepper her stomach and pelvis. At the same time, he hooked a finger in the waistband of her panties and slipped them down. His metal fingers ran up her lips to slide into her as his tongue lapped at her clit, his other arm hooked under her hips to hold her at the perfect angle. This wasn't like that awkward, fumbling experience with Kerry, this was well practiced. It felt like he was a world away. He could literally do it with his eyes closed. It wasn't like Rogue cared though, or even noticed anything was wrong. She moaned wildly as he fingered her and sucked on her clit, his teeth occasionally grazing her sensitive skin.

"Ah, fuck~" She cried above him, rocking her hips against him. He must have zoned out because in moments she was arching her back, screaming out as she reached her climax. So much for her pussy distracting him from Kerry.

Johnny pulled back to kiss her softly, and her whole body moved up to chase him. He felt her hand run down his chest, then grab his hardening bulge.

"Rogue..." Johnny reached a hand between them to unzip his pants, but only pulled them down far enough to take his dick out.
"Need you, Johnny." Rogue's soft hand stroked his length, her breath caught in her throat - she always forgot how fucking big he was
"Fuckin' insatiable, aren't you?" He gave her a proud smirk, and she hummed in agreement, pulling the sweetest sound from her throat

He gave the side of her thigh a firm slap. "Get on your hands and knees."

Rogue happily obeyed his instruction. She rolled over and got on her knees, held herself up with her elbows, and looked back over her arched back in a way that made Johnny's cock ache. He let out a low groan as he dragged his cock over her wet cunt, teasing her entrance.

"P-Please...Johnny..." she begged, leaning back into him. "Need you...please..."

Johnny held her hip firmly with his metal hand as he used his 'ganic one to push his cock into her. She let out a pained moaned from the stretch and buried her head in the pillow beneath her.

"Don't you dare," Johnny warned and leant forward to pull her head up by her hair. "Wanna fucking hear you moan like a good little whore."
"Feels so good...you're so fucking-" Rogue was cut off by a loud moan as he aggressively forced the rest of his length inside of her.

"So fucking tight, baby," he purred and ran a hand up her back gently. "Just a week without me and you're already not used to it, hm? Gotta train you back up, don't we?"
"Mm...yeah...shit..." she panted softly. "'m ready...fuck me, baby..."

Johnny's hands trailed down her sides to grip her hips firmly, pulled his hips back, and slammed back into her, ripping a loud cry from her chest.

The sounds of them moaning, grunting, and their skin slapping together quickly filled the room as he fucked her into the mattress. Undoubtedly permeating through the walls into the hotel rooms and the hallway. She felt so good, and that tight wet heat consuming him was enough to make him forget all about the rest of the shit going on. Right now, all he cared about was getting off, and Rogue was more than suitable for that task.

"Ah~ Right there, fuck~ S-So close, Johnny~" Rogue whined, rocking back on his dick with desperation

Johnny snaked a hand around her waist and trailed down between her thighs. Still fucking her hard, he barely had to rub her clit before he felt her come undone with a cry, her clit throbbing beneath his fingers. The way she clenched unbelievably tight around him made him soon follow her, shooting cum deep inside of her with a loud groan, his head falling back. She let out a grunt when he pulled his cock out of her and got up, shoving himself back into his jeans.

Rogue laid there for a second to catch her breath before getting up and disappearing into the bathroom. She was used to this treatment, as far as she knew Johnny didn't cuddle after sex or do anything that would remotely be perceived as loving and/or affectionate afterwards. He got the job done, then went back to whatever he was doing.

He grabbed his cigarettes from his bag and stepped outside onto the balcony to smoke, looking out across the city. This was going to be a long tour. If Nancy was right and this was the last Samurai tour, it was setting up to be one Hell of a depressing swan song.

Chapter Text

The concert was weird. It felt strange being up there, performing like everything was fine when there was such a bizarre air between Johnny and Kerry. Usually, their chemistry was electric, but with Rogue standing on the sidelines, the vibe was off. He usually spent at least half the show with Kerry glued to his back, abandoning his guitar in favor of singing into Johnny's microphone and breathing down his neck. Tonight? He was firmly behind the mic stand tonight, only venturing to interact with the fans and other band members. He was purposefully ignoring Johnny. It was so blatant there was no way the whole crowd didn't notice the shift.

After the show, Kerry was the first one out of there, and Johnny would have run right after him to figure out what was going on if Rogue hadn't dragged him to hang out with her in the dressing room. It was a post-show ritual that they would get just a little high on synth weed and then have awesome, messy sex before going out with the rest of the band. He wasn't feeling it tonight, though, and for the first time in his life, making out with a hot chick while half high didn't make him primal or feral. He couldn't think straight anymore - literally. He needed air.

Johnny silently walked her back to the hotel room; he didn't want to acknowledge anything happening. He didn't want to admit that he wasn't going into the hotel room with her because he wanted to see Kerry—he didn't want to reveal his intentions for wanting to see him either.

When he got to the bar, Nancy, Henry, and Denny were all dancing and getting wasted. It made him smile seeing them all have fun together; he just wished he could be there dancing with them. He had more important matters to attend to. After ordering some tequila at the bar, he set out on his search. By the time he had finished his drink, he had searched the entire bar, but there was no sign of Kerry anywhere. He eventually gave up and found Nancy sitting at the bar. He signaled the bartender for another drink and sat on the bar stool next to her.

"Hey there, handsome," Nancy jokingly greeted, a playful smirk on her lips as she sipped her beer.
"Hey, Nance," Johnny responded, his tone short and sharp. "You seen Kerry?"

Nancy hummed, thinking for a second as she looked around the bar. He was nowhere to be found. 

"I think I saw him head over to the men's a bit ago. I don't think he's going to want to talk to you right now, though, Johnny."

On cue, as Johnny looked towards the men's bathroom, he saw Kerry leaving. Not only that, they locked eyes just as Kerry wiped the corner of his mouth with his thumb. It was sinful the way it dragged across his red, swollen lips. What a fucking whore.

"Don't give a shit what he wants," Johnny spat, getting up from the bar stool and making a beeline for Kerry.

He didn't even say hi to Kerry as he approached. He couldn't care less about pleasantries right now. He grabbed Kerry's leather jacket and dragged him out into the alleyway, where rain started falling through the canopy of balconies and walkways above them.

"Let go of me, asshole!" Kerry tugged his arm free from Johnny's grasp. "What the fuck are you doing?"
"Saving your dumb ass from going home with some douche bag apparently," Johnny hissed back, leaning against the wall of the bar.
"Oh my God! You're such a fucking hypocrite! Do you even know half the names of the girls you fuck?" He crossed his arms over his chest, trying to fight off the cold. "Why do you even give a shit who I sleep with? Aren't you back with Rogue?"
"I've always given a shit who you sleep with."
"Careful. Don't want me to take that the wrong way." Kerry rolled his eyes as he stepped closer to Johnny to try and get out of the rain.

Johnny knew what it sounded like, he knew exactly what it sounded like, but he would never admit to being jealous or protective over Kerry. That would mean acknowledging that it wasn't just sex between them, that that night wasn't just a once-off mistake.

"I'm not gay, Kerry; I'm not into you like that."
"How are you into me then?" He challenged, now standing close enough that Johnny could see his breath in the air and the rain dripping off his short, fluffy hair.

He must have been staring because Kerry's arm was suddenly against the wall beside his head.

"Just cause you're dating a chick doesn't make you any less of a fag," Kerry hissed, his voice low and calm with rage.

Fuck. That shouldn't have turned him on. Being called that by Kerry shouldn't have turned it on like it did. He was filled with rage, his skin prickled, but at the same time, there was something about the way Kerry's eyes narrowed, his nose wrinkled, and every word was dripping with a venom he usually reserved for cops or corps. It lit a fire inside Johnny, who was grossly misunderstanding his situation.

Without a second of hesitation, he relented. He gripped Kerry's jaw, strong and harsh, and crashed their lips together. It was a moment of pure passion and wanting, but underneath all the primal instinct, it was as close to begging as Johnny could manage. All he wanted was for Kerry to stay. He would do anything to go back to how they were before. He just wanted to hold him in his arms again. Sadly, you could take the man out of Night City, but not Night City out of the man, and even miles away, he knew there were no happy endings, and there would never be one for people like them. He felt Kerry's hand on his chest, and before he could press into him, he realized Kerry was pushing him back. Hard.

"What the fuck's wrong with you!?" Kerry spat, forcing distance between them with the entire length of his arm
"C'mon, Ker, don't act like you're not into that," Johnny huffed defensively, adjusting his shades more as a distraction than out of necessity.

Kerry stood there in stunned silence, looking over Johnny with pure disgust. The air was thick with tension, and neither of them had the hatred for each other to let it come ahead. He wanted to yell back at him, cause a scene, and get physical, but how could he ever hurt Kerry? Or rather, how could he hurt him more than he already had? God, he was a fucking nightmare.

"Figure your shit out, Johnny." Kerry shook his head as he opened the door back into the bar. "I'm done standing around waiting for you."

With that, he was gone. That wasn't how it was meant to happen. Did he expect Kerry to come running back into his arms, especially when he watched how quickly he crawled back to Rogue? Fuck. He wanted to tell him that he had changed, that being back with Rogue, even for just a day, made him realize how much he was into Kerry, and yet...he was still so fucking conflicted. He didn't want to date Kerry, he was still caught up on that whole crisis, but back before he cheated on Rogue, back when shit was happy and felt right, Kerry was still warmer than he was now. They still shared a bed; they still cuddled and were affectionate with each other. Johnny fucked up with sleeping with him, then fucked up with crawling back to Rogue, and now it felt like there was no fixing it.

He didn't bother going back to the bar after that. He knew the whole energy would change, and the others deserved to relax. Johnny walked back to the hotel in the rain, his head swimming with thoughts about himself and Kerry. Even if nothing happened with him, and he irrevocably fucked everything between them, he still had a lot to think about and a lot to figure out about himself. He couldn't just go through life lying to himself - he wasn't that weak. Figuring out how to unpack who he was and what he was conforming to would be his biggest challenge yet. This whole thing would have been much easier if Kerry wasn't so...perfect. Maybe he had taken him for granted. He was always there for him, put up with all his shit, and still cared for him, still wanted him. He would be lying if he said the feeling wasn't mutual.

Johnny rubbed his temple as he got inside the hotel room. His hair was soaked, and his clothes weren't faring much better. He peeled the wet fabric off his skin and slipped into bed with Rogue. She looked so pretty lying there naked, peaceful, and unaware of everything around her and the part she played. He reached out his metal hand and carefully pushed a strand of her dark green hair behind her ear. She groaned softly as her eyes fluttered open.

"Hey..." Johnny whispered. He flicked his tongue over his bottom lip anxiously. "Didn't mean t' wake you."
"Mm, 's fine...was already wake..." Rogue quietly hummed, "You're...wet."
"C'mere." He ran his hand down her back and pulled her in close to him under the thick covers.

It didn't feel the same. Her soft skin, her muscles, her beautiful tits pressed against his chest, it should have been perfect, but it just felt wrong. He wasn't like this with her. He wasn't nice to her. She furrowed her brows as she looked up at him tiredly.

"What's wrong, Johnny?" She asked, always so fucking perceptive
"Nothin', Rogue," he lied, a lot was wrong. "Can't I just be a cuddly drunk for once?"
"You're not like this when you're drunk," she pointed out, clearly more awake now. "Horny, angry...horny...not affectionate..."
"Told you, I'mma changed man."

The silence that filled the room was deafening. He could tell she wasn't buying it for a second. She had heard that time after time, and he never changed. He was never affectionate, never loving, and he didn't cuddle unless he wanted sex.

"Johnny..." she sighed and reached up to caress his cheek. "You'd tell me if something was wrong?"
"M'yeah." He closed his eyes and leaned into her hand. He felt like he was breaking beneath her touch. He wanted to tell her everything, but he couldn't stand hurting her again. "I'll be okay, baby, promise."

Her lips parted to say something, to challenge that blatant lie, but it was late. They were both tired; it had been a long day. Choosing not to make anything worse, she rolled over and hooked his arm around her waist, leaning her back into him. He pressed his face into her shoulder and tightly held her.

***

Johnny woke up feeling like shit. He needed a cigarette. It was midday when he finally pulled himself out of bed. Rogue was nowhere to be seen, and none of her things were lying around. He lazily got dressed, putting on whatever he was wearing the day prior. There was no one he needed to look good for anymore. He grabbed his bag and went downstairs, lighting a cigarette the minute he got out of the hotel lobby. While he smoked, a roadie loaded his bag onto the bus. As soon as Kerry got outside, he walked straight past Johnny and went onto the tour bus, just dropping his bag outside to be loaded. Great. Fucking fantastic. There was no way Samurai was making it out of this tour in one piece.

He ashed his cigarette and put it out on the side of the building before boarding the bus.

"There he is!" Henry announced, coming from the bunk hall to sit on the large front lounge sofa. "Disappeared on us last night. Was your input beggin' for you?"

Johnny would usually punch him in the face for talking like that, calling Rogue his input, and saying she was 'begging' for him. Instead of causing shit with another member of the band, he sat down across from him on the other sofa and crossed a leg over the other.

"Nah, I just didn't want to see your ugly mug," he casually dismissed. "Where is Rogue?"
"Went straight to her bunk," he told him, nodding back toward the bunk hall. "Guessing you two didn't get a lot of sleep last night...glad you learned how to be quiet though. If I have to hear one more girl screaming your name like a whore, I'll flatline out of disgust."
"Speaking of disgust," Kerry's voice came from the front of the bus, "there's a heatwave in Arizona right now."
"Thought you'd love an excuse to walk around half-naked?" Johnny joked
"Uh-huh." He looked at Henry, turning his body away from Johnny. "I don't love the risk of our fans flatlining. Have to make sure we have tons of bottled water and keep an eye on the crowd. I'll talk to Rogue about security before the show; ensure crowd control is locked."

Johnny rolled his eyes and got up from the sofa. Kerry was being such a bitch, but they were going to be stuck on the bus for five and a half hours until they got to Phoenix. If they couldn't coexist, at least there were other places on the bus he could escape to. He grabbed his guitar from where they had random crap stored in the shower (rule number two of the bus: don't use the water. The shower was just there for show.) He sat on the sofa in the back lounge where some of the roadies were hanging out and quietly strummed a song. It was alright having people around constantly - they just learned to tune everyone else out most of the time. 

They parked at a truck stop somewhere along the highway two hours later to refuel. Johnny got up and stretched his back as he walked out to the front lounge to see who (if anyone) was getting out for a break.

"Yeah, man, I need a smoke, or I'm gonna go all cyberpyscho on all of you." He heard Kerry say with a laugh from outside the bus

That was an easy choice then - if he could get Kerry alone, he could apologize for what happened yesterday night. After all, talking to him couldn't possibly make it worse. Right when he got off the bus and went to follow him, he felt someone's arms wrap around his waist - Rogue's arms.

"Think there's a spot around the corner where we can get some privacy," she whispered, nipping at his earlobe enticingly.

His gaze lifted to see Kerry smoking with Henry and the crew. He looked over his shoulder at Johnny and gave him a sad smile, his lips pressed together in a slight pout. His eyes were begging him not to go, to walk over and smoke with them like nothing was wrong - one last chance to do the right thing, and all would be forgiven. Leave Rogue and set yourself free. But there was something else in his eyes that told Johnny he knew how this would go. Kerry wasn't the safe choice, and Johnny was always too much of a fucking coward to go with the dangerous option - or maybe just too fucking smart.

Rogue's fingers enterlaced with his as she guided him around the building, away from anyone's prying eyes and out of view of the highway. She gave him a brief kiss before smoothly dropping to her knees. That night with Kerry had been raw and honest; this was a well-practiced imitation of love and passion. She unzipped his jeans,  pulled his cock out, and softly kissed up his length.

Johnny closed his eyes, let his head fall back against the concrete building, and let his biology take over. It wasn't hard for him to get turned on by someone dropping to their knees and servicing him.

As she took him into her mouth, he couldn't help but let his mind wander. Public sex was great; it made his heart race, but he couldn't help the flash of a memory that overtook his thoughts. Last night, when Kerry came out of the bathroom wiping his mouth, all fucked out and beautiful...God, what Johnny would've given to be that guy fucking his pretty mouth. His hand found Rogue's hair and pushed her down as his hips jerked. She started bobbing her head, unaware that Johnny was miles away.

If Rogue hadn't shown up in Los Angeles, it would be Kerry on his knees right now, choking on his dick. God, he could probably take him better than any girl. He was so well-practiced; he would be amazing. Fuck, he wasn't going to last long if he kept thinking about that - thinking about the tight heat of his beautiful, perfect mouth or the way he looked that night with his face painted with cum...fuck...what he would give to do that again...to grab his hair and fuck his mouth like the pretty little slut he was...

"Kerry..." Johnny moaned quietly as his cock erupted into Rogue's throat. His heart sunk instantly at the realization of what he had just done.

Rogue shoved his hips against the wall and pulled completely away from him, wiping her mouth as his cock fell from her mouth.

"What the fuck did you just say!?" She practically yelled, shooting up onto her feet
"Fuck- Shit. Rogue, I-" he fumbled, tucking himself into his jeans and zipping them back up
"I fucking know you didn't just moan his name while fucking cumming down my throat, Silverhand." She threw her hands to her sides in defeat as she stormed away from him

"It's not like that, I swear, I would never! I haven't fucked around with anyone since you joined the tour." He protested as he followed her out into the open. He was painfully aware that the guys were still outside and were all turning to look at the commotion.

"Wouldn't you? Seems pretty fucking on brand!" She pointed out angrily, "You had plenty of time after the show when I was waiting for you at the hotel. That's your M.O. isn't it? Get me away from you long enough that you can get fucked up and stick your dick in someone else? We've been together for one day, Johnny. One-fucking-day. Couldn't keep it in your pants for that long?"

"Rogue, please," he urged, reaching out to grab her arm. "Let me explain somewhere a little more private?"

She tugged her arm free and crossed her arms over her chest. "Why? Scared he'll overhear you? Hey, Kerry! Wanna come over and explain some shit to me real quick?"

"Holy fuck, you don't know what you're doing." Johnny rubbed his hand over his face. He felt like he couldn't breathe; this was the worst thing that could have happened. Worse than her walking in on him inside some groupie. As if it couldn't get any worse, Kerry sauntered over, confusion evident on his face. He motioned at the others to get back onto the bus.

"Uh, what's up?" Kerry asked, eyes flicking between them nervously
"What happened last night between you two?" She asked with a huff

Johnny could see the tears filling her eyes. She was trying so hard to hold herself together. He was a monster for making a girl that loving and strong cry.

"Nothing happened," Kerry answered calmly; he seemed willing to tell half-lies to protect Johnny but was clearly conflicted about hurting Rogue when she was already so upset. "He came up to me awhile after I got there, and we went and talked in the alleyway for a bit; shit got a little heated, but nothing...nothing like that happened."

"Nothing?" She repeated, raising an eyebrow. "Care to explain why he just moaned your fucking name while I was going down on him?"
"He- Johnny, what the fuck?" He ran a hand through his hair with an exacerbated sigh
"Answer the question. You were visibly upset when I joined the tour, you've both been acting fucking weird, then this happens? One of you tell me what's going on!"
"Yeah, fuck...okay...Johnny? Want me to explain, or...?" 

Johnny threw his arm out lazily to signal Kerry to go ahead. He took a deep breath, preparing for the worst.

"Before the tour, we fucked around a bit. It was amazing, but it was a one-time thing, Rogue. The other night, he ran into me after I fucked a guy in the bathroom, took me outside, and we had a chat about...us, I guess - the tension was high, so if anything's been weird since then, it's just...us figuring out where our friendship is now that we crossed that line. I get why you would think something happened, but I promise, Rogue, I wouldn't hurt you like that."

Rogue bit her lip hard as her pained gaze returned to Johnny's shades. Clearly, she was trying, begging for some explanation that made her happy or made her want to stay. She found nothing in those shades that could make this right. Nothing that could return things to how they were.

"So what, you- You were thinking about him? While- I thought you- Why do you keep fucking doing this to me?" Rogue's voice trembled
"Rogue...please...I'm so fucking sorry, you gotta believe me." He could feel tears in his eyes as he spoke

She let out a pained laugh as a tear fell from her eye, "I don't think you know what you're sorry for anymore, Johnny."

Johnny opened his mouth to defend himself, but he couldn't find a way to fight anymore. There was no running from this.

"When you get back to Night City...don't try and find me. I hope you two are happy."

With that, Rogue walked off into the gas station to arrange transport out of there. There was no chasing after her now. Kerry turned to Johnny with a look of disappointment and shame.

"There goes our head of security," Kerry sighed as he gave Johnny a halfhearted pat on the arm. Then he got onto the bus and left Johnny there.

Johnny had officially fucked up the only two good things he had going for him, all in the span of twenty-four hours.

Chapter Text

They were almost at Phoenix the next time Johnny saw Kerry. It seemed like everyone on the bus was trying to give him space after that glorious shit show Rogue had dragged him into. Johnny was spread out on the L-shaped couch in the front lounge, trying not to let the heat affect him. He was from the South; he was used to hot temperatures. Clearly, not everyone was as resilient as he was, and when he felt Kerry sit down next to him, he noticed that he wasn't wearing a shirt - or much of anything, for that matter. All he had on was a pair of loose, thin black sweatpants, and he obviously wasn't wearing anything underneath.

"Hey, man..." Kerry started before he had a single idea of what he wanted to say.
"Hey, man," Johnny repeated with a bite to his words. "Here to address the elephant in the room, or did the band send you out to make sure I wasn't trying to deep-throat a revolver?"
"Oh, no, no, I know better than to address anything. Value my life too much," he joked with a playful laugh.

The next thing Johnny felt was Kerry's gentle touch, tucking his hair behind his ear so he could see his face more clearly. It was far too affectionate of a display, and it took all his willpower not to flinch away.

"I'm here of my own volition," he said quietly. I hate seeing you like this, Johnny."
"Fuck, Kerry, my sincerest apologies. Don't let me harsh your vibe, dude," he mocked

"You're not harshin' my vibe, dude," he playfully echoed with a soft smile. "The elephant in the room has some silver linings that I'm letting stroke my ego...Speaking of..." Kerry's hand ran slowly up Johnny's thigh, stopping a little too short to elicit anything other than a flutter in his stomach. "Not right now, wrong place, wrong time, but you need anything...I'd be happy to pick up where we left off before the tour..."

"Christ, even now, you're a fucking whore." Johnny rolled his eyes, but when he finally turned to look at him, he wanted to fall right into him and back into their old habits. He knew Kerry well enough that this wasn't a stab in the dark for a rebound to get his rocks off with the hottest rockerboy in N.C. No, Kerry didn't think like that; he was too damn nice to think like that. Johnny could see clearly that Kerry was reaching for whatever he thought Johnny needed to make him feel better; he was trying to fix him.

"Appreciate the offer, but that's not gonna fix shit. Rogue's gone. I fucked up again, and that can't be fixed by sloppy rebound sex with a friend."
"Not about fixing shit." The hand on his thigh snaked around his waist as Kerry (with all the apprehension of someone interacting with a rabid dog) pressed his body against Johnny's side. Even though most of his skin was pushed to his chrome, Kerry felt like a fucking furnace; there was no way this kind of cuddling was for warmth.

"What's it about then?" Johnny asked plainly. "Thought you said you weren't gonna wait around for me to figure my shit out. Thought you were done with me."
"It's what it's always been about," Kerry quietly hummed, tracing circles on his lower back. "Wanna make sure you're getting what you need to be happy."
"Hah, and you think I need to have sex with you to be happy?"

Kerry chuckled softly, and fuck did that make something churn within Johnny. He wasn't used to feeling his emotions; he usually just compartmentalized everything. However, he had been so torn up about Rogue that Kerry's happiness and affection threatened to break down his most robust defenses. Shit, he was actually starting to fall for Kerry - or, more accurately, admitting to himself that he had been falling for quite some time now.

"Look, man, Rogue showing up didn't piss me off because I was scared we wouldn't have sex ever again. It pissed me off because I knew you would go back to her, and that meant someone else would be cuddled up next to you on the couch every night, eating shitty pizza and watching those Bushidō movies you love so much."

That made Johnny pause, his eyebrows furrowing slightly in thought. He always assumed Kerry's cute little crush on him was purely sexual because who the Hell in their right mind wouldn't want to sleep with Johnny Silverhand, lead guitarist and co-founder of Samurai, party animal, sex machine, and a thorn in Arasaka's side? He assumed when Kerry called him a fag, that was just because he hated him for ruining what they had started, but as it turned out, Kerry cared more about what they could be than what they were. He wasn't troubled like Johnny was about returning to how things were before; even now, he saw potential in them that he couldn't- wouldn't let himself see.

"Kerry, I-"
"I know, I know, you're not into me like that, which is why I'm happy to resign myself to a weird friends-with-benefits situationship or whatever. As long as you're in my life, I've got nothing to complain about."

Wow, that was the gayest, sweetest way to put that. Fuck, he found himself once again questioning how any guy would be stupid enough to let Kerry go.

"It's...fuck...can't believe I'm sayin' this," Johnny groaned and took his shades off to rub his face. "It's not that I'm not into you, Kerry. This is just all so new and confusing, and I don't wanna dive in head first and end up hurting you like I hurt Rogue and everyone else."

Kerry's free hand reached up to cup Johnny's face, carefully guiding their eyes to meet. He licked and bit his lip like he was searching for the right words to say, his eyes wide but wanting. The butterflies in Johnny's stomach were quickly turning from a light flutter to a goddamn butterfly hurricane. The longer the silence, the more he felt like opening the tour bus door and throwing himself onto the highway, letting the full force of the road eviscerate him.

"You don't gotta be scared, Johnny..." Kerry's voice was so soft it was almost inaudible. "I don't wanna rush into it and fuck it up either; we can go at whatever pace you need...I'm here for you, always will be, no matter what bullshit you're scared of doing."
"You say that now, but you know the shit I pulled with Rogue," Johnny huffed

Kerry scoffed, "If I catch you fucking a groupie, I'm taking a seat and scrolling that shit."

Part of him knew Kerry was joking, but also a louder, more physical part of him was reeling at the idea of fucking some slut and then looking over to see Kerry with his dick in his hand...that was definitely going to be something he brought up later, he didn't want to ruin the moment they were having by sticking his foot in his mouth. For now, he wrapped his metal arm around Kerry's shoulder and pulled him close. He leaned in and gave him a gentle, loving kiss.

"How's a guy as sweet as you into a guy like me?" Johnny murmured against his lips
"I like my men rough, what can I say?" Kerry hummed sweetly. Maybe I see something in you that you don't. You're not a bad guy, Johnny."
"Think there's a lot of people in N.C. that would disagree with you, Ker."
"What, some suits, cops, and girls you had one-night stands with? Fuck 'em. They don't know you like I do."

There was some truth to that, at least. Kerry spent the most time out of anyone around Johnny, and as good as he was at compartmentalizing, there was no way to hide everything all the time. Normally Johnny would protest and say that Kerry didn't know jack shit about him, but he could get used to having someone in his corner when it felt like the world was rooting for him to get fucked over constantly.

"Look, Johnny," Kerry sighed softly, pulling away. As soon as their skin separated, Johnny mourned the loss of contact, but also Kerry was overheating already, and as hot as he looked all sweaty, it wasn't worth the heat stroke. "Take your time. I know Rogue means a lot to you, and you're reasonably upset about how that all went down, so you have to put yourself first. I'll be here when you need me. Whether that's to cuddle in a cramped bunk, fuck after the show, or chill in a hotel room and watch a shitty movie, whatever you need,, I've got you."
"Thanks, Ker, you're...you're a good friend."
"I know," Kerry said with a smirk.

***

The show in Phoenix went well, all things considered. Sure, they were constantly throwing water bottles into the crowd, and a few people had to be pulled out by medics, but Johnny got to pour water all over hot, sweaty, screaming chicks, and no one died, so he'd chalk that up as a win. He was high on his endorphins when his back hit the couch in the dressing room backstage.

"Fuck, think that was the best show we've had!" Johnny exclaimed, throwing his hands behind his back and swinging a leg over the other
"The best show?" Nancy repeated for clarity as she took her makeup off in the vanity mirror. "We're lucky no one died, Johnny."
"High risk, high reward, we fucking killed it."

Johnny was on cloud 9; the energy coursing through him was electric, and he had to take advantage of his excellent mood before reality inevitably hit him and made him depressed again. The dressing room door opened right on time, and none other than Kerry Eurodyne, Night City's cutest twink, entered.

"Well, well, look what the cat dragged in...c'mere," Johnny purred, beckoning him with his chrome fingers.
"He high?" Kerry asked Nancy as he walked over to the couch
"Nope, just stupid. You're usually too busy sleeping with groupies to see him like this," Nancy explained with a hum, packing her things away. "If you two have made up, though, I'm gonna go find the others and warn them not to come in here."
"Good call," Johnny agreed, his voice hoarse from screaming all night

Kerry smirked happily down at Johnny and waited for Nancy to leave before climbing onto his lap. He was wearing a black tank top, tight jeans, and his signature bandana, and boy, was it a fucking look...his muscles all glistening and on display activated something primal in Johnny - who, due to the heat, was sporting black combat pants, an open black jacket, and nothing else.

Johnny reached for an inhaler on the cluttered coffee table and took a quick puff before handing it off to Kerry. Even without Rogue to keep him company, he still had specific post-show needs.

"What is it?" He asked, inspecting the device
"Black lace."
"Shit, don't think your adrenaline's high enough already, rockerboy?" Kerry teased, then took a puff himself, practically moaning as he felt it in his lungs. He tossed it back on the table and ran his hands up Johnny's bare chest. "Y'know, think I finally wanna address that elephant in the room."

Johnny groaned in annoyance; Kerry knew when to pick his timing. He really didn't want to talk about Rogue when he had just done Black Lace and was prepping to get his rocks off.

"What about it?" He huffed, his hands idly running up Kerry's clothed thighs
"She was right, wasn't she? You were thinking about what it'd be like if I got on my knees for you? If you could fuck my face instead of hers?" Kerry asked. He dipped his head and placed soft, gentle kisses down Johnny's throat, then chest, then lower, and lower, his breath tickling his skin.

"Fuck yeah, 'course I was. If you knew how hot you were with your face all covered in cum, you would've been thinking the same shit." There was a heat traveling south already. The feeling of Kerry's lips trailing down his stomach, teasing the light smattering of hair that peaked over his pants, was enough to drive him insane. That was when Kerry moved to position himself between Johnny's legs - forcing one to the ground, and the other remained squished between him and the back of the couch. He undid his pants slowly.

"Mm, that's what you want?" Kerry asked sweetly as he slipped his pants down, revealing his massive half-hard cock. He usually didn't get going that quick, but the drugs were kicking in. "Wanna fuck my mouth like some back alley joytoy then cum all over my face? Make me your bitch?" 

Johnny's breath hitched when he felt Kerry start to nip at his inner thigh, his hardening cock brushing the side of his face.

"You already are my bitch, just haven't made it official yet." He punctuated his point by reaching down and grabbing Kerry's jaw. He pried his thumb between his teeth and tugged his mouth open. Kerry's tongue flicked over his salty skin, but Johnny wasn't indulging him; he just held his dick and slapped it across his cheek.

Kerry whined and mewed, his mouth instinctively trying to follow his dick. Johnny gave a chesty laugh, looking down at him with that evil grin as he let go of his face and reached for a cigarette and his lighter. He was getting the Silverhand special tonight and could not have been happier. Kerry ran his tongue up his shaft, flicking over the tip as he watched Johnny light up. Without any hesitation, he wrapped his mouth around his tip and worked his legnth in. He choked slightly when his cock hit the back of his throat, and his eyes rolled back for a second, filling with tears in a clear sign that he was about to gag, but he pushed through it.

To Johnny, there was nothing hotter than watching someone experienced in sucking dick struggling to get his whole cock down their throat. It filled him with pride, but he also just fucking loved seeing people in pain, and the tears that ran down Kerry's face as he started bobbing his head were fucking breathtaking. Johnny took a deep drag as he watched those tears trail down.

"Experienced fucking whore, aren't you?" As he exhaled, he gave a strong thrust up of his hips

Kerry's whole body lurched, gagging intensely at the sudden uncontrolled movement, but the minute he pressed his hand on his hip to pull himself up, Johnny's chrome hand was in his hair, holding him nice and still.

"No, you don't," he warned as he watched Kerry force himself to try to breathe with a partially obstructed airway. Once he calmed down and felt his throat relax again, Johnny gave a slightly more gentle rock of his hips as a reward. "Good boy, Kerry."

As Johnny picked up his pace fucking Kerry's throat, he moaned enthusiastically and reached down between his thighs. Jesus Christ, usually everyone else just faked being turned on by giving head. It was an open secret. They didn't enjoy it, but there was jacking off to his throat being abused. Johnny's thrusting got more erratic as he neared his peak, his grip tightening in his hair. He put out his cigarette on the coffee table and dug his other hand into Kerry's hair to fully face fuck him.

Without warning him, he released straight down his throat. Kerry made a slight surprised noise followed by a weak moan as Johnny pulled him off his cock. He swallowed obediently.

"Such a good little whore, Ker," Johnny praised breathlessly while watching Kerry sit back on his knees, still pumping his thick cock. "Love getting used like that, don't you?"
"Mm," Kerry moaned desperately, his head falling back as he aggressively jacked himself off. "Fuck yeah, love choking on your massive fucking cock, Johnny." 
"Cum for me, Ker, like the desperate fucking slut you are."

That was all that was needed to throw Kerry over the edge. With a loud, breathy moan, he erupted all over his hand. Maybe it was the drugs, but something compelled Johnny to reach out for Kerry's hand. He held his intrigued gaze as he licked the cum off his hand. It was salty and sweet, and fuck, it was weird, but he got the appeal.

"Fuck...Johnny..." Kerry panted, "You're so fucking...that was...fuck..."
"Aw, fucked all your brains out?" Johnny teased and leaned in to give him a soft kiss
"Screw you," he laughed and pushed him down onto the couch playfully, following him with his lips.

The rest of the night went by in a drug-fueled, alcohol-induced blur. All Johnny could piece together was making out with Kerry, doing body shots off some hot server, and doing lines with Henry in the bathroom - that was about the only time they ever got along.

***

"Ker, that's my room," Johnny sighed, leaning against the hotel hallway wall as Kerry tapped the keycard on the scanner outside the door.
"I know, swiped your keycard," Kerry hummed mischievously and slipped inside the room. 

Johnny slapped his ass as he followed. He watched Kerry curiously as he flopped down on his back on the cheap hotel bed. Their eyes met, Kerry's playful and wanting; he bit his lip and winked - enough of an invitation as any.

"You're insatiable," Johnny sighed again; he was tired and weighing up his options. Sure, sex was always amazing, but so was being asleep, and unlike Kerry, he was sobering up. He sat down on the edge of the bed and guided Kerry's legs into his lap. He carefully untied his combat boots and slipped them off along with his socks.

"Am I insatiable, or are you just the hottest guy that's ever lived?" Kerry challenged with a hum
"Not mutually exclusive, those two."

Johnny trailed his hands up Kerry's legs and hips, then made quick work of unbuttoning his jeans; working them off with zero cooperation from Kerry was a challenge but one he was fully capable of.

"That's more like it," Kerry purred happily. "Knew you'd come around."

Johnny shook his head with a chuckle and leaned down to kiss Kerry's cheek. "Haven't come around, just don't want you sleeping in your jeans."

Kerry made a disapproving noise as Johnny helped him get his shirt off, followed by all his random accessories that he placed on the nightstand. He yawned as he stretched out on the bed to watch Johnny undress. Fucking perv. He flipped him off briefly before turning around to focus on stripping down. Unlike Kerry, he didn't wear underwear, so he had to grab a pair of sweatpants from his bag to toss on.

When he turned back around to the bed, Kerry was curled up with his eyes closed - there was the crash he was waiting for. He looked cute; even if Johnny was a little annoyed, he came into his room to fall asleep. He was hoping they might stay up and talk for a while. Beggers can't be choosers, though, and this was better than nothing. He was careful not to disturb him as he laid down facing his back and wrapped his limbs around his more petite frame. Kerry murmured something unintelligible under his breath as he sleepily grabbed Johnny's metal arm and held it close to his chest.

"Sweet dreams, Kerry."

***

Johnny didn't know what time it was when he woke up. When he realized what was happening, he was on his knees, retching into the hotel toilet. Vomit shot out of his throat like a fire hose, splattering into the bowl. Fuck, he felt like shit. Kerry wasn't awake yet, so they must not have been asleep for long. He threw up again, then pulled himself up off the bathroom floor, visibly shaking. His head was pounding as he went to grab a glass of cold water and sat down on the edge of the bed. He just couldn't catch a fucking break. Even when he wasn't actively ruining his own life, life still found a way to fuck him. They had 15 hours on a bus ahead of them to get to Nashville, and Johnny needed to be fully rested for that; it would be Hell.

"Johnny...?" He heard Kerry's tired, dazed voice call out. "You alright?"

Johnny didn't respond, his eyes fixed on a spot on the floor ahead of him. He felt like the whole room was spinning - he needed to get his head straight. The mattress dipped next to him as Kerry sat up, getting on his knees next to him, but when he touched Johnny's shoulder, he pulled away roughly.

"Need some air," he grumbled as he rose. He grabbed his cigs from the bedside table and stumbled out of the hotel room. He could hear Kerry following him as he stepped into the elevator, but he didn't have the energy to tell him to fuck off right now. He groaned and leaned his full body weight against the elevator wall, waiting for Kerry, who had quickly thrown on a pair of sweatpants and what looked to be Johnny's Samurai tank.

Kerry reached over and tapped the ground-floor button. He looked concerned as if he had never seen Johnny after a rough night out. He closed his eyes tight and focused on not throwing up as the elevator jolted and moved down. Once the elevator doors opened, Kerry moved to wrap an arm around his waist, supporting him to walk outside. Johnny pushed him away, but Kerry stayed plastered to his side despite his protesting, gripping him tight. He needed the help; there was no way he could have made it outside without Kerry's help, but he was too proud to admit that.

Johnny leaned against the concrete wall of the hotel exterior and slumped down to sit on the pavement, his knees too weak to keep himself up. He took out and lit a cigarette as he watched Kerry pace around before him. He was too anxious for his own good.

"You didn't have to follow me out," Johnny said after a long silence, half his cig already gone.
"Don't do any shit I don't have to, Johnny," Kerry huffed, his stress evident in his voice.
"Why're you out here then?" He asked with a groan, taking a drag and ashing his cigarette. "Need your beauty sleep, don't you?"
"We've got four hours until we have to be up and out of here, and I'm awake now. I'm not losing anything by staying awake; I'll just sleep on the bus."

Johnny took a deep breath and exhaled harshly as he put his cigarette on the wall beside him. "You don't have to try and fix shit all the time, y'know. I'm not going to die because I'm outta your sight for two minutes."

Kerry rolled his eyes and gave Johnny's leg a light kick with his boot to get him to shut up. Too bad Johnny wasn't in the fucking mood for his bullshit.

"Fuck off," Johnny hissed, pulling his leg back.
"I'm not trying to fix shit, asshole," Kerry scoffed. "Just figured you might want some company."
"Gee, how'd you figure that?"

"Because you look like shit, Johnny, and you've pulled a complete 180 from last night, so you're clearly not feeling well. Not gonna sit upstairs while you crawl off and find somewhere to die like a sick fucking cat." Kerry dropped to a squat in front of Johnny and took his pack of cigarettes with little protest from Johnny. "I get you're going through shit right now, and having a bad come down from the cocktail of drugs in your system is probably a shiny fucking turd on the pile of trash you're dealing with, but you don't need to be a dick when I'm the only person trying to make sure you're okay."

Johnny leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees and encroaching on Kerry's personal space as much as possible. He could probably smell his puke breath from how close they were, disgusting.

"Don't need you to make sure I'm okay. Not going to fucking kill myself over some chick."
"She ain't just some chick, though, is she? And that ain't the only thing you're dealing with. I know about Nancy's sitch, Henry's being a fucking nightmare as always, and Denny...fuck, Denny's rant about the lights being the slightly wrong color tonight was enough to make me want to kill myself." Kerry shook his head, "then there's the shit with us, sprinkle in the usual Johnny Silverhand anti-corp, anti-cop, anti-Night-City angst, and you have the perfect cocktail for misery."

Johnny's eyes flicked between Kerry's to try and figure out what his angle was. How did he peg him that easily? Was he that transparent, or were they just so alike that Kerry could say whatever he was pissed about and bank on them having common ground? He huffed and fell back against the wall, his head hitting the concrete.

"Looks like you've got me all figured out."
"Mhm. Not that hard; everyone else has you figured out, too."
"Yet...you're the only one here."
"Yeah, 'cause unlike them, I'm not gonna wait until you're dead to be nice to you."

Johnny gave a small chuckle; he was right about that; they all said they would piss on his grave, but he knew Nancy would be the one arranging his funeral if the time came - and Denny would be criticizing her choice of flowers while Henry did blow off the casket. He wouldn't have it any other way.

"If this is you being nice, remind me not to piss you off."
"Already did piss me off the other night in the alleyway. Would've punched you and spat in your eye if you hadn't've kissed me and thrown me off."
"Aw, I knew you were into it."
"Oh my God, fuck off. Not everyone wants to fuck you all the time."
"Whoa, whoa, weren't you the one begging for my dick three hours ago?"
"Point still stands; I just have moments of weakness."

Kerry got to his feet and gave his foot a nudge, "c'mon, let's get back to bed. If you're nice, I'll let you spoon me."

Johnny rose to his feet with a stretch, "Don't know if I'm gonna get much sleep with my dick pressed against your ass."

Chapter Text

Back on the road, the band were all sitting on the sofas at the front of the bus. Henry and Denny on one side, sitting at opposite ends of the table, her glaring at him. Johnny, Nancy, and Kerry were on the L-shaped sofa on the other side. Johnny had his back to the front of the bus, his legs stretched out, Kerry lying against him, and his head on his chest. While Kerry held his 'ganic arm and placed soft kisses on his wrist, Johnny looked out the window as they drove out of the city. He firmly held his metal arm across Kerry's chest to his shoulder, almost a display of ownership rather than love.

"Jesus Christ, you fuckin' seeing this shit?" Henry scoffed loudly, gesturing over to the pair. From his attitude, he was clearly sober for the first time in days. He was an asshole when he was high, but withdrawal symptoms made him a nightmare.

"Why do you give a shit what they're doing?" Denny asked with an exhausted sigh. She was most likely the reason he was sober right now; she was always trying to fix him.
"They're ruining the sanctity of the bus!" He replied, throwing his arms in the air

Nancy looked up from her phone like a parent sick of her kids fighting. She was sitting by Johnny and Kerry's feet, but she didn't mind their dirty boots touching her leg so long as she could sit as far away from Henry as possible. Nancy turned her head to look at Johnny, who was already looking at her over his shades with dead eyes that showed how exacerbated he was. He would throw Henry through the window if she didn't say anything soon.

Kerry seemed more or less unphased as he guided Johnny's 'ganic hand around his waist. He was too tired (or maybe just too comfortable in his lover's firm embrace) to deal with Henry's bullshit. This was the first time Johnny had been relaxed enough to show affection around the others, and he wouldn't let anyone ruin that for him, especially when the girls were okay with it. 

Nancy gave a deep sigh and tucked her phone into her pocket. "You didn't seem to care about the sanctity of the bus when you and Denny christened the back lounge."
"Don't know what you're talking about, Nancy," Henry shot back
"Right...what were you doing back there that was so private you had to close the door? Bible study?"
"Drop it, Henry." Denny rolled her eyes. Nancy's words made her uncomfortable, but she knew better than to fight with her right now.

"That's fucking different, and you know it," he spat back at Nancy
"Can think of a couple of ways it's different," Johnny chimed in with a shrug, quickly challenging Henry. "Question is, why do you think quietly cuddling a dude and trying to relax ruins the sanctity of the bus, but having sloppy drug-fueled sex with a chick doesn't?"
"Oh my fucking God, you're all disgusting!" Denny groaned as she got up from her seat and stormed off, practically slamming the sliding door behind her as she disappeared into the hall

"That isn't what I'm implying, Silverhand," Henry hissed
"What is the issue then, choom?" Kerry piped up tiredly, his voice hoarse from his crushing hangover
"Issue is he's always got a new input that we gotta deal with! First, it's cuddling, then it's making out, and then a couple of days from now, I'm gonna step on the bus, and he's gonna be fucking railing you on every goddamn surface!"
"And...?" Kerry asked - his disgust with Henry was evident. "You're preachin' to the guy that's lived with him for the past three years; you can deal with a month of potentially seeing his dick. We don't say shit when we can hear you whimpering like a fucking bitch in heat on the rare occasion Denny puts out, so you can mind your fucking biz, asshole."

Johnny squeezed Kerry's shoulder with his metal hand - he was definitely going to be rewarded for putting Henry in his place. He loved whenever he could tell Kerry was trying to hold back his anger. Nothing got him more riled up than that beautiful simmering rage.

"You know, I wasn't planning on fucking Kerry on the bus, but now...which one's your bunk, again?" Johnny asked with a raised brow. "Don't call him my 'new input' like some fucking back alley creep trying to be our third. We're still just friends fucking around, same as always, so keep your scop-filled head out of our shit, or I'll make your miserable, pathetic life somehow worse than it already is. Do you know how easy it is to get a new bass player? Think fans would even notice you're gone or give a single shit when they realize?"

"Johnny," Nancy warned firmly and shoved his boot as she got up to leave. "We're not replacing him, and no one's sleeping with anyone on the bus. Keep it in your pants, all of you. You can tear each other's throats out after the tour."

Henry threw his arms down on the table in defeat and got up to leave the front lounge; he was probably crawling off somewhere to throw a tantrum or trying to find a nice corner to curl up and die. Once they were alone, Johnny's 'ganic hand immediately found its way to Kerry's inner thigh, completely disregarding what Nancy had just said.

"Johnny-" Kerry's hand grabbed his to stop him, but he couldn't help the soft, short whine that left his throat when his fingers dug in
"What?" Johnny purred in his ear, gently nibbling his ear lobe. "Being angry makes me horny, and fuck...the way you laid into that piece of shit..."

Kerry rolled his eyes and turned his head to lean up and kiss him. After a moment, he pulled away entirely to adjust himself. He turned around and knelt between his legs, trailing his hands up his thighs. He looked like he would keep moving down and caress his whole body, but something stopped him. Johnny was smirking at him, but it wasn't that mean smirk that he was known for or that he would expect from how angry he was a moment ago. No, this smirk was...loving. It was pure adoration.

"You good?" Johnny asked, cocking his head to the side, his soft gaze not shifting
"You're so beautiful, y'know that?"

Those words made Johnny's heart do a backflip in his chest. Sure, he was used to people calling him hot and sexy, but beautiful? That was too gentle of a word to describe Johnny Silverhand, yet...it felt so right coming out of Kerry's mouth.

Kerry leaned down and kissed him again. This time, his hands completed their journey up his sides and rested on his chest. He felt Johnny's thigh slip between his legs and pulled back again. He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, but his expression wasn't any less affectionate than when he first looked at Johnny.

"Interesting to see your little authority problem also extends to Nancy."
"Maybe if you weren't so sweet and fuckable, I wouldn't have a problem," Johnny argued playfully.
"No, no, no," Kerry laughed and shook his head. "You're just as much of a whore as I am, Silverhand. If I can keep my dick to myself, so can you."
"Fine, fine," he conceded. He held his arms open and ushered him back into his lap. Kerry happily wrapped his arms around Johnny's waist and cuddled up to his chest as Johnny wrapped his arms around his back and held him close, their legs tangling together.

"The second we're off the bus, I'm blowing your back out, princess." Johnny squeezed him tight and settled in for the rest of the drive.

***

True to his word, Johnny dragged Kerry into the bathroom the second they pulled up to a gas station. They passionately made out as Johnny pushed him into the hard metal sink - there wasn't enough room for them to comfortably fuck around, but that wasn't a priority. The way they kissed wasn't as soft or loving as usual. No, this was all tongues, clashing teeth, grazed lips, and beard burn. Johnny fumbled with Kerry's zipper and tugged his pants halfway down his thighs as he spun him around to face the dirty bathroom mirror. His hands clutching the sink, Kerry pushed his hips back against Johnny, feeling his bulge through his pants.

"Fuck..." Johnny exhaled, palming Kerry's firm ass. He gave him a rough smack as he pushed his pants down and pulled out his hardened cock. His dick dragged against Kerry's ass as he leaned forward to kiss and nip between his shoulder blades. He went to grab the small packet of lube Kerry had thrown onto the sink when they first got into the bathroom, but he loosely grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"Wait..." Kerry trailed off quietly, his voice airy from his nerves. "Shouldn't do this."
"C'mon, Ker. Know you're not above fucking in a grimy bathroom," Johnny huffed, clearly agitated.
"Not that," he sighed softly and raised his gaze to look at Johnny's reflection in the dirty mirror. "Doesn't feel right for your first time fucking me, Johnny."

Johnny groaned and dipped his head to kiss Kerry's shoulders. He couldn't stand looking at his face when he gave him that kicked-puppy look. "How's it any different to some random gonk at a club sticking their dick in you?"

"You know why it's different, asshole." There was no venom in Kerry's words, and he even rocked his hips back into Johnny to feel his dick - a kind of fucked up way for him to say 'it's all good' by making sure his dick stayed hard while they talked.

"Christ, you want me to break out the candles when we get to Nashville? Lay out rose petals and play classical music while I gently make love to you in missionary for ten minutes, then stroke your hair while you fall asleep? Not my style." Johnny's hands dug into Kerry's hips and gave him a rough push against the sink, pinning him there with his body. "Fucking in a shit hole with you bent over screaming? That's more like it."

"Did you fuck Rogue for the first time in a gross bathroom? Might explain a few things, that," Kerry huffed. He was squirming under Johnny but was making no attempt to free himself from where his hips were being slammed into the hard metal edge of the sink.

"Careful," Johnny warned, his voice low. In an all-too-slick motion, his metal hand snapped to grab his throat, forcing him to look at himself in the mirror. His grip wasn't tight enough to hurt Kerry, but it sent a message. A message Kerry seemed to enjoy as there was no denying the way his lips parted and eyes glazed over. He did look fucking pretty with a hand around his neck.

"You gonna be a good little slut and take care of this for me?" Johnny asked with a rock of his hips. He didn't get Kerry's point. This wasn't the same as with Rogue; Johnny and Kerry were friends, friends that fucked, cuddled, and made out, but still just friends. With Rogue, there was a sort of courtship; he had to be soft and romantic with her at the start because how else would he win her over? Kerry didn't need that shit. Regardless, he wasn't about to force him into doing something he didn't want. He wasn't a monster. At least, not in that way.

Kerry nodded with a whine, arching his back against Johnny. Good, he still wanted sex - that meant Johnny hadn't completely misread anything. He pulled away from him and sat down on the toilet seat, pushing his pants down all the way and spreading his legs nice and wide for Kerry - who dropped to his knees effortlessly between them. They both knew they were in a rush to get shit done. They were on a tight schedule, so Johnny didn't mind that Kerry went straight to business with no finesse. He wrapped one hand around his cock, while holding Johnny's thigh for support with the other. He gave shallow bobs of his head, only letting the tip of Johnny's cock hit the back of his throat and go no further. It was okay. He could work with that.

"Good boy," Johnny praised and raised a hand to stroke Kerry's hair. As his fingers dipped to his jaw, Kerry's half-hooded, desperate eyes flicked up to meet his. A moan was ripped from his chest and sent vibrations through Johnny's cock as he gave a quick thrust into his mouth. That was the thing about Kerry; as much as he claimed to be a switch, what he really needed was to be fucked. As instant gratification, Johnny noticed that Kerry had started pumping his cock harder, faster than before. He groaned and tangled his fingers in Kerry's short hair as he gently fucked his mouth. With anyone else, he would be forcing his cock down their throat - Hell, before today, he would be doing the same with Kerry, but he had set a boundary, and as much as Johnny loved pushing those, he didn't feel like getting his dick bit or thrown up on. Two things Kerry would definitely do: he was a spiteful man.

So instead of being a dick, Johnny kept it nice and smooth. Kerry sucked in his cheeks and covered his teeth with his tongue as he let Johnny thrust in and out of his mouth. His breath was slow and steady, giving way for easy, soft moans to effortlessly rise out of his throat. It was sweet. Kerry was sweet. The whole world felt like it was melting away as his brain turned to goo. His grip tightened on Kerry's hair, and he must have realized what that meant as he took control back and bobbed his head quickly, sloppily, like he was fucking desperate for it. Johnny tugged his hair back and grabbed the base of his cock so he could finish directly on the center of Kerry's tongue. He took a moment to remind himself to breathe again as Kerry pulled back, spent cock dropping from his flushed lips.

"C'mon, get up," Johnny softly directed but didn't move. Kerry looked lost but got up anyway, his hand letting go of his throbbing cock. He was happy to jack himself off, he was close enough that it wouldn't matter, but Johnny had other plans. There was a look of realization that came over Kerry as he watched Johnny wrap a hand around his length and gently take him into his mouth. It was apparent that he was inexperienced from the way that he pumped the base of his cock as he tried, against his instincts, to get Kerry's full length down. It didn't matter that his teeth were softly grazing him or that he could feel his tongue struggling to fight his gag reflex; it was all so fucking perfect in its imperfection.

"Fuck...Johnny..." Kerry moaned breathlessly. He reached down to push Johnny's shades onto his head - he needed to look him in the eyes. "Fuck- Close-"

Johnny kept sucking his cock and pumping what wasn't in his mouth, which was as good of permission as he was capable of giving non-verbally. Kerry was fighting for his hips to stay steady as he erupted into his mouth. Thank God he was already close when Johnny started because as good as that was for Kerry, it probably wasn't the most enjoyable for Johnny as far as first times went. They would have to revisit that when they had more time because the image of Johnny Silverhand sucking dick...fuck, that could make empires fall.

"Christ, Johnny...shit..." Kerry exhaled as he pulled out and quickly moved to the side to let Johnny spit into the sink. Which he wasted no time doing. It wasn't that he tasted terrible or that it was the first time he had tasted Kerry; it was just...cum had a way of sticking to your tongue that Johnny wasn't used to or comfortable with just yet. And no way was Kerry going to blame him for that.

"Yeah, yeah, don't get used to it," he dismissed as they both got their pants done up and left the bathroom. Henry was waiting outside the bus for them, clearly ready to start more shit like he was always so eager to do, but Johnny just flipped him off as they got back on board.

"How long we got left?" Kerry asked as he grabbed two water bottles from the small kitchenette fridge and tossed one to Johnny. The hoarseness in his voice gave away what they had just been doing.

"It's been...five hours, ten to go," Nancy answered from the doorway to the bunk hall. "We should be stopping around seven for dinner. If you're hungry, we bought snacks at the gas station, so that should tide everyone over."

Kerry groaned, taking a sip from his water bottle. "Can't wait until we're rich enough to fly around on a private jet."
"If we're that rich, it's gonna be because we've sold out; do you want that?" Nancy rebutted
"We signed with U-M-fucking-G; we already sold out," Johnny huffed from the couch, where he had settled. "Can't do this massive tour without selling your soul to the corporate elite."

Kerry sighed and pushed past Nancy to get to his bunk. "Gonna pass out. If anyone needs me, tell 'em to bug Johnny instead."
"Fuck did I do to deserve that?" Johnny huffed, throwing his arms up

***

Kerry woke up hours later to the sound of his curtain being roughly pulled open. He was about to punch whoever did that until he turned to see Johnny wearing a douchey grin. He was squatting next to Kerry's bottom bunk, leaning his arm up on the space above more to pose than to balance himself as the bus had already stopped moving.

"Sleep well, princess?" He asked in a patronizingly saccharine tone
"Fuck off," Kerry groaned and pulled himself up onto his elbow, "I wouldn't be so exhausted if you hadn't woken me up last night."
"You could've gone to sleep at any point. You chose to stay up and make sure I was okay. Don't blame me for your weakness."
"Carin' about you is weak now?"
"Yeah, story of your fucking life, I know."

Kerry rolled his eyes with a sigh and collapsed onto his side in defeat, only for Johnny to smack his thigh. There was no way he was letting him go back to sleep.

"C'mon. I need a smoke, and you need to eat. There's a burger joint nearby that looks half decent, make it our first date?"

Those words were like a bell ringing in a well-trained dog's ear. Johnny always knew the right thing to say to get what he wanted, and what he really wanted right now was to get food in Kerry's stomach so he wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night to bug him for food like a cat. He had woken up far too many nights in their apartment to Kerry standing in his doorway, trying to figure out if he was asleep so he could ask if he wanted food, only for Johnny to end up ordering and paying for it. 

"Just me and you?" Kerry asked, swinging his legs over the side of the bunk to climb out.
"Just me and you. The others are already out getting pizza or something." Johnny stood back, pressing his back to the opposing bunks to give Kerry room to get up and stretch.

Kerry gave a noncommittal look around his bunk for his wallet, but Johnny just sighed. He knew it was packed away somewhere conveniently not accessible to the two of them right now.

"It's on me. Get moving before I change my mind." Johnny gave his ass a light tap, and in return, Kerry turned to peck his cheek before leading him out of the bus. God, he was so cute he was going to be the fucking death of Johnny. Not Militech, not Arasaka, not some random cop: Kerry fucking Eurodyne would be his downfall. It made him sick to think about how he was rubbing off on him. Just today, they had spent at least an hour cuddling (both of them almost but not entirely falling asleep in each other's arms), sucked each other off, and now they were going on a fucking date. If the soldier he was could see the rocker boy he had become, he wouldn't have ever moved to Night City.

"Where even are we?" Kerry asked when they got off the bus, stifling a small yawn
"Somewhere between Oklahoma and Tennessee, meaning the middle of nowhere."
"Middle-of-nowhere enough that I can hold your hand without you freaking out?" Kerry had a playful tone in his voice; he never understood what Johnny was scared of.
"Yeah, sure," he conceded, holding his metal hand out for Kerry.

Johnny slipped a cigarette between his lips and flicked his lighter, smoking easily as they walked to the burger place he had seen on the drive. Kerry stayed firmly at Johnny's side, cuddled up to his arm like perfect arm candy. It was soft; it was sweet, and it made Johnny's cold heart melt, so naturally, it made him fucking angry. He was so caught up on what would happen if someone saw them like this; what would they say? What would they do if they knew the corpo-hating, anti-fascist, radical liberal, hate-fueled rocker boy had a soft side? And a soft side for a guy, no less. When it was Rogue he was spotted embracing in public; all the fangirls and groupies pissed themselves in excitement, knowing that he had a soft side because they were romanticizing a toxic relationship and getting off on the thought that maybe someone could fix him. Meanwhile, all the fanboys were too distracted by how hot Rogue was to even contemplate the idea of them being affectionate together. To them, she was just something pretty to fuck and show off. There was no telling how they would react.

Kerry was utterly unaffected by all the social Darwinism that came with fame. He was hard as nails—at least, as far as the public knew. Sure, he wasn't as into the messaging behind Samurai, and he meditated and knew how to keep his temper, but there wasn't a fight he got into that he didn't win. Johnny had seen him break more than a few noses in the years they had been friends, and he had been on the receiving end of his anger about three dozen times. The most admirable thing about him, though? How could he be that much of a badass and still not be afraid to sack up with the manliest of guys, knowing how the media would interpret it? He wasn't scared of how he was perceived, ever. He just moved through life living for himself and caring for the people he loved. And God, did Johnny wish he could be that strong.

"This one here." Johnny pulled himself out of his depressing thought train to open the door for Kerry.
"Ooo, fancy. Sure know how to treat a guy," Kerry commented sarcastically with a wide grin, looking around as he found them a booth at the back.

It wasn't a nice place, the place was run down. The booths were a bright yellow leather that was flaking off in places, and the once white tile was so damaged it was almost the same color as the leather. Neither of them would be surprised if there were rats in the kitchen skittering around, but they had eaten at worse places in N.C. Johnny took his seat opposite to Kerry in the booth and slid a menu over to him. 

"Let me guess, fried chicken burger, fries, and a Nicola?" Johnny mused with a hum
"C'mon, man, at least let me look at the menu before deciding to get what I always get," Kerry laughed, "same for you but a cheeseburger instead of chicken?"
"Mhm, like a real red-blooded American," he joked with a wide grin
"And like a real red-blooded American, you're not gonna make it passed 40."
"You're not that lucky," he joked back with a chuckle, only to get lightly kicked in the shin by Kerry
"Contrary to popular belief, I don't actually want you dead. We've gotta be old and washed up together, sipping margaritas poolside in our fuck-off sized mansion, overlooking all of Night City, and talking shit about whatever derivative pop music the masses are in love with. Wouldn't be the same doing it by myself."
"Hah. If I'm ever living in that much meaningless opulence, shoot me."

"Evening, gentleman, what can I get for ya?" The pretty blonde waitress asked as she walked up to their table with a notepad. She was cute, very cute. The short little vintage diner look suited her well, and left little to the imagination...Johnny's eyes were definitely wandering...fuck! Kerry kicked him in the shin hard- a lot harder than before. He was going to have a nasty bruise in the morning. He jumped back a bit into the booth and glared at him angrily behind his shades.

"Heya, we'll get one cheeseburger, fried chicken burger, two Nicolas, and fries for the table." Kerry smiled sweetly up at the waitress then turned to face Johnny. "That all, Johnny?"
"Yup," he grumpily huffed.
"Alright! Let me know if you need anything, I'll be out with those shortly."
"Thanks, doll," Kerry hummed as she walked off, high ponytail swishing.

"Fuck was that for?" Johnny asked through gritted teeth
"You were staring," Kerry replied casually, as if that was enough reason to kick him that hard with his big ass combat boots.
"And? You could have shattered my fucking shin with that kick, asshole."
"You can't praise me for shutting down creeps then get mad at me for holding you to the same standard," he sounded all too pleased with himself. He reached out across the table and held Johnny's hand softly in his. "You'll be alright. Need me to kiss it better?"

Johnny wanted to pull his arm away and tell him to fuck off, but how could he when he was being so...playful and adorable? Being a dick to Kerry sometimes felt like drop kicking a puppy. A week ago, if Kerry had kicked him that hard he would have kicked him right back, or broken his fucking nose. Now though? Now Kerry's positivity and cute little smile were his fucking kryptonite. Ugh. Johnny, despite his best efforts to suppress his gross soft feelings, interlocked his fingers with Kerry's.

"You're so fucking lucky you're cute. If you were anyone else, I would be throwing you through a window right now."
"It's okay, I know half my success in life is just pretty privilege."
"Half?" Johnny raised his eyebrows. "It's gotta be higher than that. Eighty percent at least."
"Oh, fuck off," Kerry laughed.

They reluctantly let go of each others hands once their food got there, and dug in. Was it good food? No. Was it technically edible? Yes, and that was all they needed right now. One day maybe they could be people who ate to enjoy a meal, maybe they could one day afford to go out to a fancy restaurant and eat real food - good food, but tonight wasn't that night. For now, they were perfectly content eating shitty food just to keep their bodies running. As they finished up their meals, Johnny felt a sadness creep in at the realization that now they had to get back onto the bus. They couldn't spend the night curled up watching a movie, or having awesome clumsy sex, or even fall asleep in the same bed. Their moment of respite was over, and they had to go back to their normal, stressful as fuck lives.

Johnny quickly paid, and the second they were out the door, he had his arm wrapped around Kerry's shoulders. They slowly made their way back, not in any rush at all. It was so quiet out there, they were far away from any city noise, truly the middle of nowhere. Nothing made you hate living in Night City more than being away from that noisy, busy Hell hole. It was a rare moment of peace that Johnny wasn't dumb enough to let go to waste. It would seem, neither was Kerry.

"Hold up," Kerry pulled him to stop right outside the bus doors. "Had fun tonight, that was really sweet of you."
"Wouldn't call it sweet, that place was beyond garbage," Johnny dismissed, never the one to take a genuine compliment well.
"It was a sweet gesture, that much you've gotta admit."
"Fine," he exhaled in defeat, "glad you enjoyed yourself."
"That's better."

Kerry slipped his hands to Johnny's waist and gave him a soft, loving kiss, that lasted longer than it should have but also not nearly long enough. Kerry was the one to finally break it, and slotted his hand into Johnny's to pull him into the bus. He hated most of the people he met, and fucked up every friendship he ever had, but Kerry...whatever happened between them, Johnny knew he couldn't let go of him. For better or for worse, he had to keep him in his life forever. He couldn't possibly live without him.

Chapter Text

“So…it’s raining outside,” Kerry said as he came back into the dive bar dripping head to toe. He shook his head like a dog, flicking water across the booth where Nancy and Johnny were sitting. The other two band members were nowhere to be seen, the remaining three of them not caring enough to convince them to go out after the Nashville show. 

“Would feel bad for you, but you’re the one that left us to have a smoke – some people would call that karma...” Nancy trailed off with a hum from where she was sitting across the table from Johnny. She had her feet up on the seat next to him, effectively blocking Kerry from getting back to his seat next to the rocker boy. So, instead, he walked around behind Johnny and wrapped his cold, wet, leather jacket covered arms around his shoulders.

“Argh, Kerry!” Johnny complained, his face scrunching up as Kerry pressed his wet face against his. “You smell like a wet dog.”

“I feel like a wet dog,” he huffed sadly and pressed a kiss to his friend’s cheek. “Can we consider this post-show celebration over? Unless someone pulls out some drugs, or lets me do shots of their tits, I’m fucking beat.” 

“You already took all my lace,” Johnny groaned. He raised a hand to hold Kerry’s arm, but quickly retracted it once he felt his wet leather jacket. 

“Sorry, soldier, but my tits are off limits.” Nancy chugged the rest of her drink and slammed the empty glass down on the table. “Guess we’re calling it then.” 

“Guess so,” Kerry sighed, pulling his arms away from Johnny, who strangely found himself mourning the loss but was more than happy to ignore that bittersweet feeling and push it deep, deep down. 

“Cheer up, Ker-bear, sure we can find something to entertain you. Something that doesn't involve drugs or tits.” 

“Help me get out of these wet clothes?” Kerry hummed softly when they got back to the hotel room. He slipped his leather jacket off and gave Johnny the fakest look of innocence as it gently fell to the ground. 

“Need my help with everything now?” Johnny huffed, but complied. He peeled Kerry’s wet t-shirt off of him. The second it passed over his head, he leaned in and kissed him hungrily. 

“Need your help with something else really important,” he murmured against his lips and undid his own belt. Johnny quickly pushed his hands away and unzipped his jeans. 

“What’s that, Ker?” He reached his hand past the wet fabric of his jeans to palm his cock and Kerry melted into him, a hand spreading across his chest to hold himself steady. That's what Kerry loved most about Johnny, how he just rolled with the punches no matter the circumstances. Johnny had only been with a guy - had only been with Kerry - a handful of times, yet he was so ready to dive head first with all the confidence in the world. It was hot as Hell. 

“ Mm …You know how before the tour you asked if it’d been a while since I last got fucked in the ass?” 

Kerry let out a breathless moan as Johnny squeezed his growing bulge. His head fell to his chest, earning a chuckle when he nuzzled his pec in quiet pleading. 

“Get on the bed, princess .” 

Those simple words made his brain short circuit. He looked up at him with those big brown puppy dog eyes and softly kissed him, only to feel a cold chrome hand wrap around his throat and push him towards the bed. Kerry, ever the whore, instinctively spread his legs for Johnny to kneel between. He wanted nothing more than to be treated like one of Johnny Silverhand's sluts. 

“Shit at following instructions, aren’t you?” Johnny huffed as he tugged Kerry’s jeans off with little fanfare and knelt between his legs. He was definitely right about that being his best angle, his small frame all spread out and wanting— begging to be used.

“Hard to follow instructions when I can’t even think around you.” Kerry put his hands behind his neck as he unhooked his foot from behind Johnny. He pressed it up his thigh to feel his cock through his insanely tight leather pants, taking a mental note of how his jaw tightened as he rubbed his bulge slowly with his foot. “I want to be a good boy for you.” 

“Hah. Really wish I believed you, brat .” He grabbed his ankle and aggressively pulled his leg to his hip as he leant forward to bite at his collar bone. Kerry responded with a pleased moan and a rock of his hips, but was only met by a hand pressing against his stomach to hold him down. “Well, aren’t you a desperate little whore?” 

Johnny’s teeth dragged along Kerry’s soft skin as he moved to bite and suck on the soft flesh of his pecs. He would make a joke about how much he loved his tits, but he was all too distracted by the noises leaving Kerry’s throat as he flicked his tongue over his pierced nipple. He sucked, and bit, and tugged with his teeth all while busying his hands by pulling his briefs down. It took all of Kerry’s brain power to slip his feet out of them. 

He whined and ran his fingers into Johnny’s hair, gently tugging him up. Johnny looked confused, brows slightly knitted together, lips parted ever so slightly. Kerry pushed his sunglasses off his face and tossed them gently onto the bedside table before kissing him passionately. It was desperate, it was longing, but more importantly it caught Johnny off guard enough that he took his hand away from his stomach and gave Kerry the mobility to rock his hips against him – hard cock dragging over soft leather. 

“Use your words, slut ,” Johnny growled against Kerry’s lips and rocked down hard, pushing him into the mattress. 

“You know what I want,” Kerry whined. Quickly that chrome hand was back around his throat, only tighter this time. He moved against him, trying to test him, and was met with a cut off airway and a growl. He never considered that he was into being choked before, but then again, he never had Johnny Silverhand looming over him with his hand tightly wrapped around his throat, pinning him down.  

“The next words out of your mouth better be fuck me, daddy .’” He tightened his grip on his throat.

“Pl–Please..” He managed to choke out as he rocked up. As punishment, Johnny brought his ‘ganic hand down hard across his cheek. “ Daddy… fuck me!” 

“ Good boy ,” Johnny praised despite knowing Kerry was just being facetious. He peppered kisses across his face as his chrome hand slipped from around his throat and smoothed down his chest and stomach. “That wasn’t so hard was it?” 

Kerry pulled himself up onto his elbows as Johnny pulled away from him. He bit his lip softly at the sight of him wrapping a hand around his cock. He ran his thumb over his pierced tip and Kerry groaned, his head falling back. “ John-Johnny…baby… ” 

Johnny chuckled and gave him a gentle kiss on his thigh, only to get up off the bed — which naturally earned the brattiest, most annoyed whine from Kerry. 

“ Ah, ah . I thought you were a good boy?” He asked with a playful smirk

“I said I want to be a good boy,” Kerry corrected. “Hard to be a good boy when daddy’s a fucking cock tease.” 

Johnny laughed at that, walking over to where Kerry’s bag had been thrown into the corner of the room. He heard Kerry flop back down on the mattress with a frustrated sigh as he undid the zip and dug around his friend’s belongings. It only took a moment or two for him to return to the bed. 

“Here, do what you do best – put on a show for me.” Johnny tossed a small bottle to Kerry, who quickly caught it. His heart beat like a hummingbird in his chest as he sat up a little bit. Sure, unlike Johnny, this wasn’t his first rodeo, but fingering himself in front of him was a lot of pressure. 

“ Yes, daddy, ” Kerry replied playfully. He squirted some of the lube onto his fingers and tossed the bottle to the side. As he circled his hole with his middle finger, Johnny pulled his shirt off. His lips parted, moaning softly as while he was working his fingers inside himself, Johnny was busy pulling his leather pants off. He never wore anything underneath his pants, and seeing that beautiful massive cock standing at attention while he stretched himself open was enough to make him start leaking pre-cum. 

“What a beautiful little joytoy…” Johnny hummed. He reached out to trail a hand along Kerry’s leg and stroked his own cock with the other. 

His eyes were transfixed on where Kerry’s knuckles disappeared into his tight, lubed hole, and how his chest rose and fell with every breathy little moan. There was no doubt he had done this a hundred times before, but Johnny couldn’t even begin to imagine how amazing that tight ring of muscle must have felt around his fingers.

“ Johnny… ” Kerry moaned quietly, drawing his friend’s attention back to him. When Johnny looked up at his face though, he noticed that his eyes were closed – he wasn’t moaning for him at all. 

“Touch yourself to the thought of me fucking you so much that you forgot I’m right here?” Johnny asked with a proud smirk. He knelt back between his thighs, running his hands over his legs all the way down to his hips. 

“ You have no idea… ” He sighed sweetly, opening his eyes half way to gaze at the man between his legs. He put his free hand gently over Johnny’s on his hip and (rather reluctantly) pulled his fingers out from his tight hole. “‘m ready, just start slow? Wanna feel every inch of that monster cock.” 

Johnny leant down to softly kiss Kerry as he held his cock against his entrance. Gently, he pressed the tip in, followed by the first inch. He was tempted to just slam into him, be as brutal and unloving as he was with every girl he fucked, but the fingers that gently squeezed his hand as they kissed was a welcome reminder that despite what Johnny wanted to believe, Kerry was different. Kerry wasn’t just some groupie, or random chick, or fuck- Rogue . He was special. He deserved to be treated with care and…with love . At least for now until he inevitably fucked it up.

Kerry’s gentle moaning turned to a pained whine as Johnny worked more of his length into him. Johnny immediately stalled, but was reassured with a gentle kiss and Kerry’s hand trailing up his arm. He felt incredible around him, better than any pussy he had ever experienced. He really got it now. This wasn’t just friction, wasn’t just biology, Johnny was actively fucking a guy and loving every second of it. Those cute little whimpers intertwined with the sluttiest softest moans were better than any song he had ever heard. 

“Shhh…daddy’s got you…” Johnny soothed, pulling back to watch Kerry’s face contort with pleasure as he finally bottomed out. “Good boy.” 

“You’re…feels amazing..so fucking big…I ever said that?” Kerry joked with a rock of his hips, knowing damn well the answer to his question.

“Once or twice.” He pressed his fingertips into his hips for leverage and pulled back, pulling out only to slam back into him. He was so damn tight, and his moans were so amazingly loud - a litany of ‘fuck yes! Right there, Johnny! Harder!’ filling the room as Johnny worked up a steady but brutal pace. It took him a moment to get used to fucking him at the correct angle, so that he was near pulverizing his prostate, but once he got there he knew neither of them were going to last long. He adjusted himself to wrap his arms around Kerry’s thighs, pulling him into his lap as the younger man reached to grab the blankets, pillows, whatever he could get his hands on as he writhed with pleasure. The way his hard pierced cock bounced against his stomach, trailing precum across his soft muscles made Johnny wish he was scrolling a BD – he looked like the literal image of sin.  

“Fuck! Please - Johnny~ Need your–” Kerry moaned loudly, unable to finish his sentence. “Inside me–” 

“Need my cum, whore? Need daddy to breed you?” Johnny finished his sentence for him, and punctuated his question with an aggressive thrust that made Kerry’s back arch. 

“Ple-ase,” Kerry whined, clenching around Johnny as he rocked his hips in time with his thrusts – that had been growing steadily more erratic as he neared his climax. “ Need it~ Fucking knock me up- Please~”

However joking and playful they were being, those words were all the encouragement Johnny needed. He held tight onto Kerry’s thighs to keep him nice and spread open as he fucked him hard and deep. It wasn’t long before he erupted into his tight heat, groaning loudly as he pulled out. 

“Fuck…Kerry…” His eyes were fixed firmly on where he could see his seed spilling out of his abused hole, dripping down his skin so beautifully. He forced himself to look up at his lover with a soft smirk and wrapped his hand around his cock, which had been unfortunately neglected until now. “You’re such a good whore, baby.” 

Kerry reached up to tug Johnny’s chrome arm, tugging him down for a deep kiss as he rocked his hips, fucking into his fist. Johnny bit and nipped at his bottom lip, slipping his tongue into his mouth. It was sloppy, messy, with all of the desperation of a man who just finished, and a man being all consumed by the pressure building inside of him. Within moments, Kerry’s head fell back onto the pillow beneath him and cried out in pleasure. Johnny felt his cock flex in his grip as hot white ropes painted his tan stomach and dripped onto his fist. He wiped his hand shamelessly on Kerry’s thigh and peppered his throat with sweet kisses. 

They stayed like that for a silent moment, Johnny sweetly kissing across his skin while Kerry’s hand ran up and down his back, tiredly feeling his muscles and spine. He knew better than to acknowledge how soft Johnny was being, he knew he was the type to finish and then leave immediately – or kick the girl out. He wasn’t a cuddler. He wasn’t sweet or soft – and Kerry wasn’t dumb enough to make a huge thing about something so rare and pleasant. 

“Should get you cleaned up, huh?” Johnny finally broke the silence. He collapsed on top of Kerry with a soft sigh, his head resting on his chest. He was discovering a lot tonight it seemed, like the reason girls loved using guy’s chests as pillows. He especially understood it when Kerry raised his hand to his hair and gently massaged his scalp. 

“Mm,” Kerry hummed sleepily, “or we could go for round two…”
“Fuck, you really are insatiable,” he chuckled. “Don’t you need your beauty sleep?”
“Sex is good for your skin, there was an Oxford study about it.”

Johnny smiled up at Kerry fondly – how did he get stuck with someone so perfect? More importantly, how did it take him so long to discover that he was so damn perfect? He kissed him softly at first, but Kerry was quick to deepen it, and within a blink of an eye Johnny found himself on his back with Kerry kissing his way down his chest. 

They didn’t get a moment of sleep that night. 

“Don’t need to guess why you two look so tired,” Henry commented from his spot on the couch as Johnny stepped on board the tour bus, followed closely by Kerry. “This a whole thing now? He your new input?”

If Johnny didn’t have his shades on, the look of disgust he was giving Henry would have killed him. He always had something to say and it was going to get him killed one day. Maybe even killed by Johnny if he wasn’t careful. 

“I dunno. You my new input, Kerry?” Johnny punctuated his question by giving Kerry a playful smack on the ass as he pushed past him to walk to the bunks. 

Kerry let out a stifled, but very clearly pained groan. When he turned, Johnny was standing there smirking, clearly proud of how much pain Kerry was in that morning. 

“Firstly,” he gave an exacerbated sigh, “we're not putting labels on anything ‘cause Silverhand doesn't have the best track record.” 

Johnny raised his hands in offense, and Kerry seized the opportunity to wrap his arms around his waist. He sighed and dropped his arm around Kerry's shoulder.

“Secondly, I can barely sit after last night, so if anyone needs me, you better be on your best fucking behavior or I'll throw you all outta this bus. That goes double for you, mister.” Kerry pointed a finger at Johnny as he pulled away from him and continued his original pathing to the back lounge of the bus. 

Johnny watched him leave with a fond smile before his attention was pulled back to Henry and his smile immediately dropped. 

“Dude, nice!” He held his hand up for a high five but was left hanging as Johnny redirected his focus to digging through Kerry's bag, which had been haphazardly tossed onto his bunk. 

“You usin’ again or just bipolar?” Johnny asked, his tone non-committal. 

“Can't I be happy that two of my bros are in a loving, sex filled relationship?” Henry sighed, idly drumming his hands on the table. He watched with a raised brow as Johnny pulled out a packet of lube and tucked it into his back pocket. “Hey, Nancy said no fucking on the bus, if I have to abide by that, so do you.” 

“I'm not your bro,” Johnny dismissed as he walked to the back of the bus and closed the door behind him. 

Kerry was sprawled out on the couch with one foot up on the coffee table watching a music video channel on the small TV. He was taking long drags from a synth cannabis cart and blowing smoke rings above him. Johnny paused for a moment to watch him before he settled down next to him on the couch. His hand immediately found its way up Kerry's leg to gently rub his upper thigh. 

“Thought we weren't allowed to do that here?” Kerry purred with a smile and offered the cart to Johnny, who flicked his eyes up to meet him as he wrapped his lips around the mouth piece to take a long drag

“That's weird,” Johnny exhaled and kissed Kerry's neck. “I don't see any of the girls around to tell us not to. What they don't know won't kill ‘em.” 

Kerry raised his free hand to softly scratch Johnny's beard, definitely not discouraging him from gently nipping at his earlobe. 

“Mm…” he murmured as Johnny’s hand drifted to his bulge. “Can't fuck me, gonna need all day to get over last night.” 

“Your mouth broken too?” 

“Hah.” Kerry tangled his fingers in Johnny's hair to tug him up into a lazy kiss. “I’ll blow you if you put that sinful tongue to good use…” 

Johnny smirked against Kerry’s lips and tugged on his waist band, pulling him down to straddle his hips as he fell back onto the couch. From there, it was a mess of lustful kissing, desperate rutting, and tearing clothes off like they were on fire. Skin rubbing together, hands exploring bodies, lips clashing and tongues exploring, the murmurings of their bandmates from the front of the bus were entirely forgotten to them. There was only one thing on their mind as the bus lurched to pull out of the parking lot. 

“Want you to sit on my face, princess,” Johnny growled hungrily against Kerry’s mouth
“Thought you’d never ask…” 

Kerry gave Johnny one last kiss before he pulled himself up. He grabbed his cart off the coffee table and took one last drag, then turned himself around to straddle Johnny’s chest. He wrapped his fist around the mouth-watering length in front of him as he hovered right above Johnny’s face. Johnny huffed in discontentment and wrapped his arms around Kerry’s thighs to pull him down – when he said sit on my face he meant it, he wasn’t a pussy. Kerry moaned loudly and arched his back like a doll when he felt Johnny’s tongue penetrate his hole. He had almost been too blissed out to remember his part of the bargain, but the rough slap on his thigh was a swift reminder. He bent down to drag his tongue along Johnny’s cock, his bottom lip dragging as he hungrily licked the pre off his tip. 

Johnny’s tongue lapped and massaged Kerry’s tight muscle with a tenderness and desperation that was downright sinful. It was matched tenfold when Kerry took him in his mouth, sucking, and slobbering, and moaning around him as he worked his cock deep into his throat. It wasn’t long before he was rocking his hips down against Johnny’s face – a motion that was returned with Johnny thrusting his hips up against his mouth. Neither of them were going to last long, but Johnny was hellbent on staving off the pooling warmth in his gut until Kerry had had his fun. He deserved it after being railed all night. 

Johnny squeezed Kerry’s thigh wantedly before wrapping his hand around his length. He smeared his pre-cum over his tip with his thumb, and was rewarded by the sweetest little moans as he started pumping his fist in time with the bobbing of Kerry’s head. It wasn’t long at all before he felt the hard cock in his hand tense as Kerry’s hips ground down on him. The second he felt his cum splatter onto his hand and abdomen, he pushed his hips up and released down his lover’s throat. They sat there for a second before Kerry unceremoniously lifted himself up and flopped down on top of him. Johnny was still catching his breath, and closed his eyes as he stroked Kerry’s hair tiredly. 

“That was…” Kerry trailed off, his eyes too gently shutting as he settled in against his chest. “They’re gonna kill us.”

“Let them.”