Chapter 1: tHe CrEaTion oF thE heLL hoLe
Summary:
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA has changed Sawamura Daichi's name to Daddy
Sugamama: Kinky
Chapter Text
Sunday 24th, 1:01pm.
Sawamura Daichi added Sugawara Koushi and 12 others to the chat.
Sawamura Daichi renamed the chat to 'Karasuno'
Sawamura Daichi: Good evening everyone. Coach Ukai said it would be a good idea to create a groupchat so if club meetings or practises are moved, cancelled or times change, Kiyoko-san won't have to message everyone individually.
Ennoshita Chikara: Why.
Kinoshita Hisashi: This is going to end so badly.
Sugawara Koushi: Nothing volleyball related is going to be said here and I can't wait.
Azumane Asahi: I'm scared.
Ennoshita Chikara: You're always scared.
Sugawara Koushi: Wuss.
Azumane Asahi: Thanks.
Ennoshita Chikara has changed Azumane Asahi's name to Wuss
Noyaaa has changed their name to ROLLINGTHUNDAAA
Ryuuu has changed Ennoshita Chikara's name to enNOSHITa
Kinoshita Hisashi: Bitch I wanted that name
Ryuuu has changed Kinoshita Hisashi's name to SickOfThisBullShitA
SickOfThisBullShitA: I'll allow it
Tsukishima Kei has left the group
Yamaguchi Tadashi has added Tsukishima Kei to the group
Tsukishima Kei: No.
Tsukishima Kei has left the group
Yamaguchi Tadashi has added Tsukishima Kei to the group
Yamaguchi Tadashi: Yes
Tsukishima Kei: Traitor
Sugawara Koushi has changed their name to Sugar
Sugar: No leaving.
Narita Kazuhito: Yeah. If we're stuck in this hell hole, so are you.
Tsukishima Kei has renamed the group 'Hell Hole'
Tsukishima Kei: There.
Ryuuu: HEY! THIS ISN'T HELL!!
Tsukishima Kei: Yes it is.
EnNOSHITa: Yes it is.
Narita Kazuhito: Yes it is.
SickOfThisBullShitA: Yes it is.
Wuss: It can be.
Sugar: It can be and I love it.
Ryuuu: Y'all have boring ass names.
Narita Kazuhito: lol 'yall'
Sugar: Lmfao I read that as 'y'all have boring asses'
SickOfThisBullShitA: I mean...
Sugar: BITCH WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA: Oop Moms mad
Ryuuu has changed Sugar's name to Sugamama
Ryuuu: Perfect
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA: But srsly y'alls names are plain
Narita Kazuhito: 'yall'
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA has changed Narita Kazuhito's name to Naruto
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA has changed Tsukishima Kei's name to SaltyAssBitch
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA has changed Yamaguchi Tadashi's name to Pure
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA has changed Hinata Shouyo's name to Orange
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA has changed Kageyama Tobio's name to HeLikesMilkkk
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA has changed Sawamura Daichi's name to Daddy
Sugamama: Kinky
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA has changed Kiyoko Shimizu's name to ABSOLUTEGODDESS
ABSOLUTEGODDESS: ...thanks?
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA: OMG OMG
Ryuuu: KIYOKOOOOO
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA: KIYOOKOOOOOO
Ryuuu: SHE HAS GRACED US WITH HER PRESENCE
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA: IM BLESSED
Ryuuu: WE'VE BEEN BLESSED
Sugamama: Kiyoko. Run.
ABSOLUTEGODDESS: don't have to tell me twice.
ABSOLUTEGODDESS is offline
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA: why.
Ryuuu: Suga.
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA: We trusted you.
Ryuuu: :(
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA: :(
Notes:
leave a comment? they make me happy :D
Chapter 2: Midlife(?) crisis turned into Tsukishima getting rejected
Summary:
Orange: WHAT
Naruto: WOAH
Notes:
:)))
Chapter Text
Hell Hole
2:47am
Orange: Why.
SaltyAssBitch: ???
enNOSHITa: is tangerine having a midlife crisis??
Pure: Midlife? Is Sho living until 32?
SaltyAssBitch: Hopefully he doesn't make it that long.
Orange: :<
Pure: Tsukki! :O
enNOSHITa: anyways orange, why are u having a crisis?
Orange: ....
Orange: idk
Pure: ...what
Orange: I forgot.
SaltyAssBitch: ofc you did.
Sugamama is online
Sugamama: why r u all awake?
SaltyAssBitch: Insomnia
Pure: Tsukki was awake :)
Naruto: Aww
SaltyAssBitch: shush
enNOSHITa: we could ask you the same thing, Suga.
Sugamama: hw all nighter.
Naruto: makes sense
enNOSHITa: tangerine was having a crisis.
enNOSHITa: he forgot what abt tho.
Sugamama: sounds like him.
Orange: >:[
Naruto: Can we all take a moment to acknowledge that Yamaguchi Tadashi is fucking up his sleep schedule for Tsukishima?
enNOSHITa: :O
enNOSHITa: tru love
Sugamama: I wouldn't even do that for Dai
Sugamama: Well, it depends
Naruto took a screenshot of the chat
Sugamama: traitor
enNOSHITa: le gasp
SaltyAssBitch: no stealing my language bitch
Orange: what
Naruto: what
Pure: Tsukki's half french ^~^
Orange: WHAT
Naruto: WOAH
Sugamama: my lil' french crow
Pure: petit corbeau français
Orange: ???
SaltyAssBitch: 'little french crow' in French
Naruto: When did Yama learn french?
Pure: You pick up some when your best friend for years speaks french as their native.
enNOSHITa: ...best friend?
Pure: yeah! Tsukki's my best friend! ^v^
Private chat between NoShit and Glasses
2:51
NoShit: eek
NoShit: that's gotta hurt
Glasses: shush
Hell Hole
2:53am
Daddy is online
Sugamama: oh no.
Naruto: we woke dad up
Daddy: GO TO BED!!
enNOSHITa: yes dad.
enNOSHITa is offline
Naruto is offline
Sugamama is offline
Pure is offline
Orange is offline
Daddy: ...Tsukishima?
SaltyAssBitch: insomnia :D
Daddy: go to sleep
SaltyAssBitch: wow, such great advice.
Daddy: ...
SaltyAssBitch: yes captain
SaltyAssBitch is offline
Daddy is offline
Chapter 3: That time Tsukishima referenced Heartstopper
Summary:
SickOfThisBullShitA: WHAT
enNOSHITa: YOU'RE WHAT
Sugamama: REALLY
Chapter Text
Hell Hole
6:56
HeLikesMilkkk: I've missed a lot
Wuss: Yeah
SickOfThisBullShitA: since when was glasses french??
SaltyAssBitch: ..since, my birth??
Sugamama: ...did you just referance Heartstopper? :O
SaltyAssBitch: Tadashi and Hitoka made me watch it.
Sugamama: YES
Ryuuuu: well done!!!
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA: did u guys not know Stingyshima was french?
Yachi: yeah, i thought it was obvious..
HeLikesMilkkk: you did know?
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA: i'm bestest bros with his bro in law
Yachi: And I'm his cousin, so..
SickOfThisBullShitA: WHAT
enNOSHITa: YOU'RE WHAT
Sugamama: REALLY
Yachi: unfortunately
SaltyAssBitch: unfortunately
enNOSHITa: okay, i see it now
Notes:
i understand i've been begging...but let me know what you think? <3
Chapter 4: The time Suga set up Tsukiyama
Summary:
Assahi: FINALLY
Assahi: THEY WERE ALMOST AS OBLIVIOUS AS KAGEHINA
Chapter Text
Private chat between suGaR and TsUkKi
3:14pm
TsUkKi: can I ask a question?
suGaR: yh, whats up
TsUkKi: how did you confess to Daichi-san?
suGaR: ....
suGaR: is this abt Yamaguchi?
TsUkKi: maybe.
suGaR: well, basically
suGaR: oop someone else is texting me brb
TsUkKi: ...
Private chat between SUGAAAA and YAMAAAA
3:16pm
YAMAAAA: can I ask you a question? :)
SUGAAAA: yeah, ofc
YAMAAAA: how did you confess your feelings to Daichi? *o*
SUGAAAA: is this for a bitchy blond middle-blocker?
YAMAAAA: ....yeah
SUGAAAA: don't worry abt the method.
SUGAAAA: I have a feeling he likes you too ;)
YAMAAAA: how do you know?
SUGAAAA: i know everything.
Private chat between FrenchFry and Yam
4:01pm
FrenchFry: do you want to come over? I want to talk to you, in person
Yam: Sure Tsukki ^o^
Private chat between Thing 1 and Thing 2
5:54pm
Thing 2: AKDGEUAGIANGWOMABXPIE
Thing 2: HITOKA!!
Thing 1: keyboard smash
Thing 1: what happened?
Thing 2: GUESS WHO HAS A BOYFRIEND??
Thing 1: OMG WHO
Thing 2: ..tsukki
Thing 1: oh.
Thing 2: CAUSE ITS ME!!!!
Thing 1: AHHH TADASHIIIII!!!!!!!
Thing 1: TELL ME EVERYTHING!
The three amigos
6:09pm
Kou-Kou-puffs: guess who helped get Tsukkiyama together? :D
Assahi: FINALY
Deadchi: THANK FUCK
Assahi: THEY WERE ALMOST AS OBLIVIOUS AS KAGEHINA
Notes:
live laugh love the third years
Chapter 5: In which Tsukki is exposed, and is maybe dying because of Hitoka and Kiyoko, and is very pissed about it.
Summary:
SaltyAssBitch: YOU'RE SUCH A BITCH OML
SaltyAssBitch: I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE HUNG OUT W U
Notes:
Yes, this mentions periods. If you are funny abt that (idk why you would be, but yh) then by all means skip this chapter, but there is some deep Kei lore dropped lmao
Also TW implied past child neglect
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Hell Hole
11:47am
SaltyAssBitch: YOU'RE SUCH A BITCH OML
SaltyAssBitch: I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE HUNG OUT W U
enNOSHITa: excuse me?
SaltyAssBitch: shit wrong chat
SaltyAssBitch is offline
SickOfThisBullShitA: I need the details.
Sugamama: Now.
Pure: He was talking to Hitoka :)
Sugamama: *gasp*
enNOSHITa: family drama!
SickOfThisBullShitA: even better:
Naruto: TSUKISHIMA FAMILY DRAMA!!
Wuss: we really shouldn't get involved.
ABSOLUTEGODDESS: I know what happened?
Wuss: ...
Wuss: i'm curious now.
Wuss: what happened?
SickOfThisBullShitA: lmao
enNOSHITa: how do you know?
ABSOLUTEGODDESS: cause he was yelling at me too :)
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA: i'm gonna kill him.
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA is offline
Pure: I'm gonna go warn Tsukki o.o
Pure is offline
Sugamama: Okay seriously, Shimizu.
Sugamama: What happened?
ABSOLUTEGODDESS: ....i'm not sure if he'll want me talking abt it...
Pure is online
Pure: he says he doesn't really care
Pure: he's too busy raging at Hitoka rn anyway
ABSOLUTEGODDESS: alr
ABSOLUTEGODDESS: so, I was hanging out w the two of them, and me and Yachan both had our monthly thing, and cause Tsukishima was with us, he synced and got his today
enNOSHITa: bluetooth has connected successfully
SaltyAssBitch is online
SaltyAssBitch: OVER A WEEK EARLY
SaltyAssBitch: OVER. A. WEEK.
SaltyAssBitch: I'm gonna kill you both.
Pure: I'll be at yours in 10 xx
Pure is offline
enNOSHITa: couple goals fr
SickOfThisBullShitA: how the fuck did Tsukishima get him as a best friend??
SaltyAssBitch: boyfriend*
SickOfThisBullShitA: what
SaltyAssBitch: he's my boyfriend
Naruto: TSUKIYAMA CANON
Ryuuu: no breaking the fourth wall
SaltyAssBitch: ...I think the lack of sleep and cramps are getting to my head or smth cause wtf just happened
Pure is online
Pure: have you taken any painkillers today?
SaltyAssBitch: ...
SaltyAssBitch: no.
Pure: and you wonder why you feel like shit.
Pure: you need to start taking care of yourself istg
Pure: you worry me sometimes
SaltyAssBitch: i'm shit at taking care of myself because i never was
Yachi: Kei we talked abt this.
SaltyAssBitch: oh i'm sorry, i didn't realise poking fun at myself was illegal.
Yachi: IT ISNT FUCKING FUNNY, KEI
SaltyAssBitch: ...
SaltyAssBitch: sorry
enNOSHITa: you guys realise this is a GROUP chat, right?
SaltyAssBitch: shit
SaltyAssBitch has deleted 4 messages
Yachi has deleted 2 messages
Pure: open the door
Pure: i'm outside!
SaltyAssBitch: there's a spare key under a rock somewhere
SaltyAssBitch: i'm too scared to get up
SaltyAssBitch: i'm wearing light grey clothes.
SaltyAssBitch: why
Yachi: dummy
SaltyAssBitch: i have to sneeze and I might cry
Yachi: mood
Yachi: praying 4 u Kei
Notes:
Sorry for the Tsukki angst, buttttt there will be a bit more implied next chapter
yay
Chapter 6: Never leave sharp objects near a sleep deprived Tsukishima. Also he got adopted. Also angst.
Summary:
Sugamama: PUT DOWN THE SCISSORS AND PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON YOU ARE NOT DOING A DIY TOP SURGERY
SaltyAssBitch: HOW DID YOU KNOW
Sugamama: I KNOW EVERYTHING
Daddy: GO TO BED ISTG
Notes:
again, TW for slightly implied child neglect/abuse
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Hell Hole
3:58am
SaltyAssBitch: if i diy a top surgery on myself, can they just finish it in hospital?
SaltyAssBitch: cause the sleep deprivation is kicking in and im fucking tempted
Sugamama: put the scissors/kitchen knife down, put your shirt on, and go to bed.
SaltyAssBitch: how did you know-
Sugamama: I know all.
Daddy: now go to bed.
Daddy: have you even slept yet tonight?
SaltyAssBitch: no :D
Daddy: you can skip morning practice if you need to, just get some goddamned rest, Tsukishima
SaltyAssBitch: alr
SaltyAssBitch: thanks captain
Sugamama: PUT DOWN THE SCISSORS AND PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON YOU ARE NOT DOING A DIY TOP SURGERY
SaltyAssBitch: HOW DID YOU KNOW
Sugamama: I KNOW EVERYTHING
Daddy: GO TO BED ISTG
Hell hole
7:02am
Sugamama: @SaltyAssBitch
Sugamama: What time did you fall asleep??
SaltyAssBitch is online
SaltyAssBitch: ...about 5am
Sugamama: ...
Daddy: I'll bring extra coffee
SaltyAssBitch: thanks
Daddy is offline
Sugamama is offline
SaltyAssBitch: ik the whole 'Dadchi' thing is a joke, but he's a better dad than my actual dad
Pure: ....I think you just got adopted
SaltyAssBitch is offline
Pure is offline
Private chat between Kou <3 and Dai <3
7:07am
Kou <3: did you see the convo between Yamaguchi and Tsukishima?
Dai <3: I'm both honoured and concerned about Tsukishima
Kou <3: same
Hell hole
11:37am
Ryuuu: AHAHA
Ryuuu: IM CACKLING
Ryuuu: I NEVER THOUGHT ID SEE THE DAY
Daddy is online
Daddy: aren't you in a lesson right now?
Ryuuu: well,
Ryuuu: i went to the toilet, and as i was walking back to class
Ryuuu: I walked passed Keis classroom
Ryuuu: and his teacher was SCREAMING at him whilst he tried not to laugh
Ryuuu: It was acc so funny
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA is online
ROLLINGTHUNDAAA: GUESS WHAT
ROLLINGTHUNDAA: nvm Ryu already said :(
Daddy: ....
Daddy: @SaltyAssBitch
SaltyAssBitch is online
Daddy: is this true?
SaltyAssBitch: how was i supposed to know sensei knew 'you're such a bitch istg' in french?
Daddy: Tsukishima
Daddy: please tell me you didn't insult them straight to their face in French
SaltyAssBitch: what? of course not!
Daddy: oh, good
SaltyAssBitch: i waited until her back was turned first, obviously
Daddy: ...
Daddy: why do i even try anymore?
SaltyAssBitch: you sound like my parents :D
Daddy: oh.
Ryuuu: kei, we talked abt this 😭
SaltyAssBitch: shit i gtg
SaltyAssBitch is offline
Hell Hole
4:56pm
Sugamama: @SaltyAssBitch where were you??
Sugamama: You didn't turn up to practice.
SaltyAssBitch is online
SaltyAssBitch is offline
Sugamama: ...okay then
Hell Hole
7:09pm
SaltyAssBitch: red
SaltyAssBitch is offline
enNOSHITa: ???
Ryuuu: oh no
Pure: shit shit shit
Notes:
:D
Chapter 7: Red
Summary:
hello my pookie wookie smookie bears (im sorry)
Chapter Text
Hello
:D
I'm Kai, your fabulous (i hope) author!
I have a QUICK thing to say.
OKAY NEW NOTICE
it's the fifth of July, 2024 as i write this, and closing whenever I post the second, I am taking requests for the second chatfic.
This will be a three part series (unless I'm persuaded for more (i am very easily persuaded)), this fic, Red (WHICH I AM WRITINNG I SWEAR) and then that next chatfic.
So, down to business. If you want to put through a request for one of the options listed below, then comment or message me on Tumblr! (Tumblr messages will be much easier for me)
- Character display name/name changes
- Scenes/character interactions
- Entire chapters/chapter briefs (i don't have many ideas and I want it to be longish)
- Idk just requests lmao
Ofc super long elaborate ones may be hard for me to manage/might take longer, but I will try my best! And Red is still to be finished and posted so that may change up a fewww things (maybe idk)
REQUESTS DONT CLOSE OKAY LOVE YOU BYE
Notes:
HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY LOVES
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