Work Text:
Ok so…
✨Headcanons time✨
Tf2 headcanons:
Medic is kind of like the psychopathic mother hen of the team, he will comfort you but rearrange your kneecaps/steal your liver at the slightest chance he gets because he has as much morals as he does ethical medical knowledge
Engineer is chill, kind of like a calm uncle
Spy is the snooty uncle/relative/partner of relative who shows up to family gatherings just to be snobby and posh ig
Scout is the annoying cousin who does NOT shut up and the reason his parents (Spy and Scout’s Mom) drink alcohol in copious amounts.
Pyro is non binary and doesn’t care about pronouns (they don’t realise it though, as it is the late 1960s/early 1970s and LGBTQ folks, while they certainly existed, were sadly discriminated against during this time period)
Medic and Heavy are either best friends or a couple (pretty much the only main tf2 ship IMO)
Miss Pauling is a sleep deprived bean who needs a hug @_@
Pyro and Engie are literally inseparable friends, kinda like the translator and mysterious dynamic? (Pyro’s speech is muffled in this case and Engie translates for them)
Spy and Sniper tolerate each other at best 😅
SOLDIER AND ZHANNA ARE A POWER COUPLEEE 🇺🇸 ❤️ 🇷🇺
Demoman can understand/speak Scottish Gaelic because why not