Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

p>

When people talk about the afterlife, they never mention the part where you get thrown into your favorite fantasy series. After dying quite pathetically via the tripping of some stairs at the tender age of 17 (Okay, I wasn´t paying attention to where I stepped, but I totally needed to answer that message on the phone) I was expecting ... well I wasn´t expecting anything because I was dead, but that´s beside the point. The point is I now get to be the younger brother of Mr. Aegon ''kneel or die'' Targaryen, Daeron Targaryen. The fourth child of Lord Aerion of Dragonstone and Lady Valaena Velaryon was born 6 years after Visenya, 5 after Aegon, and 4 after Rhaenys.

Fun.

So ... I guess this is the part where normal people freak out about the fact they are about to live in the shithole that is Westeros. But not me, I am a huge stinky nerd who´s into that shit. Think about this way, i went from a relatively normal teenage boy who liked History, math (weird i know), and in general lazing around to someone who will ride a dragon and can fulfill probably every single power fantasy imaginable. I am quite literally going to be at the top of the food chain.

There are some...bad parts about it, however. First off i am expected to marry Rhaenys and uhm... yeah...marrying my own sister is going to be hard to say the least. Worst, I am quite terrified that Aegon might get a crush on her like in canon and do god knows what to me. Not that I can blame him, 13-year-old Visenya is strict enough to make Stannis shed a tear with pride, I can´t imagine she´s getting any nicer.

Speaking of my other ''siblings'', They are all one year apart in age and I can´t help but snicker at it, Aerion has been busy.

12-year-old Aegon is intelligent, hard-working, and quite charming when he wants to be. He also has an Ego that puts Walter white to shame and is a bit of a loner, if you aren´t from our family, he probably won´t interact with you. Not due to any personal animosity or shyness, but just because he won´t be interested. Visenya is terrifying, she is Stannis with boobs and a silver-haired whig, mind you, she is 13 now. I can´t help but pity Aegon for having to deal with her.

Rhaenys is ... weird. She is obsessed with dragons, though she has yet to claim Meraxes, (Visenya has Vhagar already and Aerion rides Balerion so Aegon will have to wait) Impulsive, kind, and mischievous. Unlike my other two siblings, Rhaenys´ hair is golden instead of silver. None of my siblings hate me or dislike me ... but they also don´t love to the same extent as they do each other.

Orys is the eldest of us all, being three years older than Visenya, and he is surprisingly nice to me. Where my other siblings are a bit distanced, Orys is very warm and affectionate. He has black hair and black eyes. But not the black that Bobby B would have almost three hundred years later, that black comes from the Durrandons and Argella.

And me? I look like Aegon, but less bulky. I´ve been here in Westeros for seven years now, I have been making a concerted effort not to abuse the fact I am essentially a teen in a child´s body and just clown all over the Maester´s lessons. I didn´t want to be known as a weirdo who started writing at three months old. That meant ''struggling'' to read and learn the alphabet, choosing which lessons to excel in and which to slip the errors in here and there. I am not looking forward to being regarded as a genius child or anything like that, first of all, because I am not the questions are just too easy (Maester asked me to my face what´s the sum of two plus two as a question that was supposed to ''test'' me) and second of all, because it would mean more lessons, and I say no to that.

My mother has arranged for me to start Fostering here in Driftmark. Now, i have my own sneaking suspicions as to why she did that. Valaena is a faithful follower of the Seven, and I am sure she hates The Targaryen incest. She has been pretty much forced to accept Aegon and Visenya´s betrothal, but me and Rhaenys? not so much. It´s very glaring to me how her brother Daemon Velaryon´s daughter keeps hanging around. I doubt the poor girl named Daenora has any idea of what´s going on considering she´s a ten-year-old. But her father is not so innocent in my eyes.

I have been here for a month or so and ... I have been enjoying myself. The castle folk are nice, my cousin Aethan Velaryon has been a nice friend, and Uncle Daemon isn´t half bad either. The only problem is the distinct lack of Dragons here. In this timeline, Balerion laid eggs after getting on Dragonstone as the Targaryens fled from Valyria. Most of the hatchlings died, but one with shining golden scales and green eyes survived, it hasn´t been tamed by anyone before so it doesn´t really have a name and the dragonkeepers just call it ''the golden''. It´s slightly bigger than Meraxes and that´s the one i plan on taming if I can ... a big emphasis on IF, I have no idea how taming works or feels.

Now, there is a slight annoyance here in Driftmark, a horrific form of oppression that every child and teenager across the world faces around the world, a noose hanging around our necks that squeezes the joy out of our lives called: Studying

''We have been progressing nicely in our studies of history Daeron, now, just some questions to test your knowledge'' said maester Orwyle, an old man that had so many links in his maester chain that the dude might as well run around with bells from all the noise these things did when he moved

''Thank you maester, ask whatever you want, and i shall answer'' The maester nodded in approval.

''Excellent. Can you tell me why your ancestors settled on Dragonstone Daeron? '' well, this one was easy for any lore fanatic like I had been in my first life ''Daenys the dreamer foresaw the doom of Valyria in a ... well dream. She told her father Aenar the Exile who attempted to warn the other Valyrians of the freehold. His urgings were ignored and Aenar packed his things and went west, eventually landing On Dragonstone, house Velaryon also followed him and settled here in Driftmark. 12 year later Valyria was destroyed by the doom.''

''well done Daeron. Now, can you tell me each of the seven kingdoms?'' It was a bit funny studying this now since in like... two decades Aegon was going to destroy all seven of them. ''The kingdom of the Rock, The kingdom of the reach, the Kingdom of the Storm, the Kingdom of Mountain and Vale, The Kingdom of the North, The kingdom of the isles and Rivers, then there´s Dorne as well''

The maester seemed satisfied. He then proceeded to destroy every ounce of self-confidence I had by asking about the faith of the seven. I hadn´t even bothered to read the seven-pointed star and missed every question that wasn´t the bare minimum, things like ''Name the seven aspects'' or ''Explain the concept of knighthood'' were all i knew. Not my fault the faith of the seven is the only religion that doesn´t do shit. The old gods have their weirwood magic and the children of the forest, the drowned god is essentially Cthulhu and his priests consistently practice resuscitation in their drowning rituals, the red god is unquestionably real as Renly found out the hard way and the Valyrian gods have dragons and blood magic as proof.

''My boy, you must study the seven who are one more intently. I see this is an aspect of your education I have been failing in. '' I grumbled internally. I hate this...'' I shall maester Orwyle'' I quickly got up and tried to leave the room before Orwyle could really do anything, but that Rat bastard just looked at me with a grin that could only be described as predatory ''Where do you think you´re going Daeron? We will begin by reading the first 10 chapters of the seven-pointed Star''

I felt as if this old dude had just slapped me in the face. The books never mention how boring the seven-pointed star is, but I can confirm it´s repetitive enough to make a robot get tired. I stood there, paralyzed and looking at him with a pleading expression ''p..please no Maester... I...will be a good student from now on.''

the son of a bitch smirked smugly at my despair ''Sit. We are not done'' I grumbled and threw a childish tantrum before complying.

Fuck everything about Westeros except the dragons.

Chapter Text

You know, you never realize how much the small things in modern society make life easier.

Everyone who´s ever gone down that road of thought has probably considered the lack of electricity or air conditioning or television as the main things that would be missed. And to a certain extent, they´d be right. Only having candles for illumination means you can´t read at night unless you´re willing to slowly lose your eyesight, the lack of AC is a sword lodged in my heart and the fact I can´t catch up on my favorite shows is also tragic.

Nobody has ever thought about how much missing pens is bad, writing with quills SUCKS. The thing just has this tendency to spray the ink all over the place if you put even the tiniest bit of strength in your grip, the freaking feather covers up what you´re writing, and good lord is having to use inkpots awful, half the time I will bathe the damned quill in it and STILL won´t write, and the other half I will cover the parchment with what looks like a petroleum leak from all the ink that dripped down from the tip.

Case and point: I was performing the arduous task of writing to my family in Dragonstone. I have been in Driftmark with the Velaryons for a whole month and that´s enough time to warrant some letters, ravens, and broken quills.

Yeah...I have to write something to each member of my family, so it´s probably for the best I find a system to do it as quickly and efficiently as possible, especially considering i will be here in Driftmark for the foreseeable future.

So, letters to Visenya: As curt, blunt, and objective as possible. Avoid giving her any details, or she will find something to nitpick and get disappointed. And if Visenya gets disappointed i can expect her to reply with what´s essentially a military routine disguised as ''counseling''. And she will find a way to know whether I follow it or not. Jesus Christ, you can feel her dissaproval from the other side of the world once it locks on you.

Orys; Dude´s illiterate. Don´t write him anything. It´s very depressing how Orys was conceived when Aerion claimed the right of the first night, only got martial aspects to his education, and is still better treated than most bastards in Westeros. In fact, Aerion having four trueborn children who know how to read and write is an achievement here in Westeros. Where some lords genuinely think books are ''unmanly'' and that Women reading will give them ''poisonous ideas''. The ironborn specifically think that reading is some cursed form of sorcery that must be avoided at all costs. Morons, lackwits and imbeciles.

Letters to Aegon are the easiest. Tell him what I am doing, and that miss him. Aegon and I have this weird relationship where he´s too much of an introvert to seek bonding with his little brother, and I am a seventeen-year-old mentally, so I have a hard time pretending to actually enjoy playing children´s games, still, we aren´t on bad terms just... a bit distant.

Dealing with Rhaenys is something I struggle with. It´s very hard to bond with a kid once you know you´ll be forced into degeneracy (Fuck incest, all my homies hate incest) with her. She also struggles at keeping still for over 5 minutes straight and is in constant need of stimulation to avoid boredom. The only things that can truly capture her mind are dragons, singing, and dancing. I guess I could sing her some songs from the modern world and see how she reacts? actually ... that´s a good idea I should have had earlier...Dancing is a hell no for me. Dragons are the only truly positive thing that being a Targaryen in Westeros brings, so I can at least relate to her on that.

Since she struggles so much with attention span, I should probably fill my letters with those things so she can read them. She´s quite a sensitive person and I don´t want to pass off the impression that I despise her.

Letters to my parents? simple! Tell father and mother I love them, tell them that Driftmark is a cool place and all that. Throw some shade on the whole incest thing to please my mother, but do it in a way that sounds more like a kid being curious than deliberately attacking the practice. Aerion is a die-hard Valyrian supremacist and passed that crap down to Visenya who is his favorite child and will not take kindly to literally any questioning of his ideals. Great dad by Westerosi standards, but still a degenerate.

Also, can we talk about how bad it is to be the wife of a Targaryen? Imagine being poor Valaena right now, Aerion only married you because you had Valyrian blood and he didn´t have any available sisters. And now she just has to watch as all her children are forced into something her religion considers a sin and the offspring, her grandkids, abominations. That´s horrifically depressing. The Velaryons never practiced incest since they weren´t a dragon-riding house in old Valyria, so even to them the Targcest is weird and kind of disgusting ever since they converted to the seven. Speaking of the seven, it´s very jarring to me how Aerion and Visenya believe firmly in the fourteen flames (Gods of old Valyria) while my two other siblings don´t give the slightest shit about any religion And my mother has used the fact i am here on Driftmark to have try and have me converted to the most useless of the faiths in the world of GRRM. I am R´hllor all the way, he gives me shadow assassins, revival powers as well as the ability to see the future in the flames. None of the other gods have shown this amount of power...but then again, he also requires human sacrifice, so maybe I won´t be a red god fanatic. Best to consider all cards on the deck though.

*sighs* Best get scribbling with this FUCKING QUILL. I swear to god i wish i knew how to make a pencil or a pen all on my own. Unfortunately, the only uplifting i can bring here to Westeros is basic hygiene practices like washing my hands. That´s already a big deal however, I´m sure the women in labor who won´t get a septic shock because of me will all be grateful for my great idea.

Whelp, scribble scribble.

''To my dearest sister Visenya ...''

...

''No, no, no. You´re doing it all wrong Daeron'' That was Driftmark´s master at arms, a jackass named Ser Jacaerys Waters. Responsible for teaching me how to use a blade and fight. He´s given me this big wooden sword for me to practice proper sword stances and footing. Apparently, I am doing it all wrong, but in my defense, a seven-year-old shouldn´t have to learn this shit. ''Put weight on your left foot, cock those hips slightly, drag your other foot back unless you think stepping on yourself mid-combat is a good strategy.''

''Like this ?'' I did what he told me and looked at him, the poor guy wasn´t very good-looking, he had this big scar on his cheek that he got from fighting Hoare pirates that had sailed from the Blue Fork and into Blackwater Bay. Considering just how bad it was, I can´t complain about how grumpy and angry this guy is all the time. Even if i do want to, he´s a veteran being forced to baby a seven-year-old, I can understand his frustration

''That´s acceptable. Now, put your sword up and hit this dummy for me'' I did as he said, doing a sword thrust straight into what would be a throat if this dummy was a person instead of ... you know, a dummy.

Jacaerys grumbled '' You used the sword tip instead of the edge. Most younglings like you prefer to do these massive swings that butcher off half a man´s body. What you did was much better, a clean and precise blow to a vital area. Tell me Daeron, do you know why the tip is better than the edge in a battle ?'' The dude was actually mad i did the right thing so he couldn´t berate me.

I was quite smug over that question of his, reading all those Bernard Cornwell novels is paying in dividends now ...'' Because if I have enough space to use the edge that means my army formation has been routed and I am getting chased by the enemy before getting myself killed like a pig. When people are tucked together during a battle I cannot use a sword swing without the risk of accidentally killing a friendly whereas with a thrust I have much more control over who gets hit. Also, it leaves me less open for a counterattack.'' Well, what I said was more valid when people used shield walls which aren´t really a thing here in Westeros for some reason. But the concept stays the same i am sure

He narrowed his eyes as if he were a comic book character catching onto a murder suspect, it was not fun being on the receiving end of that glare.''That is ... a surprisingly coherent and well-thought-out answer with bizarrely specific details Daeron. Tell me, where did you learn about any of this?'' Oh shit. I forgot about the fact I'm supposed to be a stupid little seven-year-old instead of a person with average intelligence. There´s a glaring difference between the two. Fuck me in the ass.

''uhm ... I read it in a book'' That seemed enough to appease Mr Waters, besides it wasn´t actually a lie. I basically copypasted the speech of a character named Owen to the protagonist of the warlord chronicles.

He snorted '' I guess they´re good for something '' Aww, he wasn´t mad at me for once! '' Unfortunately, your execution is terrible. Your blow was too weak and slow and you require physical conditioning.'' Can´t I have anything good in this place? ''I will give you a training routine that i will expect you to follow to the letter, is that understood ?''

''Yes, Ser.'' He grumbled and cursed some more before saying ''You better mean it, i have this whip here that is just itching to give you a lashing in case you neglect your duties boy.''

Who hurt you in your childhood man?

''Cousin Daeron !'' By the voice I knew it was Aethan Velaryon, he´s one of the people I've struck up a friendship with here in Driftmark.He likes sailing which is good considering he is a Velaryon, i like him because he is honestly quite chill for a 12-year-old kid.

''Cousin Aethan , what is it ?'' he was approaching me with a grin on his face ''My father says that tomorrow we will go trading with him on Duskendale, isn´t that cool ?! You´ll get to board a ship with me !'' ''

''Yes Aethan...'' i muttered a half-hearted response, but my mind was only thinking about one thing :

Am I smart enough to introduce Embezzlement into Westeros like Littlefinger did?

Chapter Text

The sea travel was quite nice.

I hadn´t gotten around boats in my first life, being a city boy the only ''sailing'' I ever did was in Assasin´s creed Black Flag. And my skills at fictional pirating and sacking did not, unfortunately, transfer into doing it in practice. Thankfully, the waters around Blackwater Bay were quite calm and peaceful, and i did not get seasickness.

Being fostered by House Velaryon means i will probably spend a decent chunk of my time in these little wooden things. But i could not truly blame them for being so maritime, the Velaryons had quickly realized that the island of Driftmark on its own was simply not populous or fertile enough to sustain itself, agriculture was hard and mostly dismissed in favor of fishing if previous generations of Velaryon lords had fewer brain cells they´d use the tried and true feudal technique of ''Tax the peasants more'' until it collapsed the economy

Instead , the Velaryons used their powerful ships to control trading along the gullet and Blackwater Bay. They had no competition from the Storm king, the Arryn fleet was built completely for battles and not trade and thus didn´t even try, and the only other Kingdom that could have contested that control , the Kingdom of the Hoares was under the command of a young Harren the black , who only cared about ruining his own country to build up Harrenhal. Occasionally some Ironborn reavers would pack together a ragtag grouping of 12 or so Longships and sail down the blue fork and into the blackwater rush, but they were no threat to the Velaryons who used bigger ships designed specifically around making boarding as difficult and cumbersome as possible, though it was impossible to outrun the Longships of the ironmen, it was not impossible to fight them off or give them incentives to not attack however. The ironmen are pirates, and pirates like easy targets, because no loot is worth dying for despite what they might tell you in their cups.

Almost 100 years after the doom of old Valyria and the Velaryons still had contacts in Essos from where they could get luxury goods for a cheap price. The poor Westerosi simply could not compete with that, and Daemon Velaryon was so confident in this that if any rival trading house dared to rise up, he´d sell his products at a price so cheap he suffered financial loss just to bankrupt said house. And if they persisted in contesting his iron grip in Blackwater bay, they should not be surprised if their trading fleets was mysteriously attacked by brigands and cutthroats of the worse kind. All a coincidence of course.

Basically, my uncle was the Vito Corleone of the Blackwater, and people knew it . So they went out of their way to please him. All in All , House Velaryon ran its affair much better than House Targaryen, who just preferred to sit around in Dragonstone meddling with the free cities and never making any gains. I don´t doubt that Aegon seeing his Velaryon side of the family find so much success in Westeros was a reason why he looked west instead of east. My uncle was a goddamn master and making coin out of nowhere, unfortunately (for everyone else, not for me) i knew of some other guy who made money appear out of nowhere...

''I am so excited cousin, this will be my first time going trading with Father, he says that when i become lord of the tides it´ll be my responsibility to make sure Driftmark continues to grow more and more wealthy !'' that was my cousin Aethan , he is a chill kid who just wants to impress his dad. I can relate, when i was his age i wanted to do that too.

''I am sure you´ll do fine Aethan, just don´t expect me to go haggling around with you and uncle. I'm only seven and that´s boring ! i just want to look around Duskendale , i´ve never seen one of these mainland castles before'' That was a lie , i had a pretty Cool (read immoral) idea on what to do here in Duskendale.

Aethan shrugged ''If you say so Daeron, but i am curious , why don´t you want to see my father ? Everyone tells me he can make gold from nowhere.''

I could not resist getting a little smug ''Uncle Daemon is a great master , no doubt about that ... but he´s not the only one , tell me Aethan , have you ever heard of this essosi merchant named Ponzi ?''

...

The port of Duskendale left me a bit ... unimpressed. The city just sucked and the Dun fort (Fancy name for the lord´s castle) stood impassibly at the distance. The noises of the waves crashing against the shore filled my ears, that and seagulls, sailors drinking and Daemon Velaryon shouting orders for his trading fleet to prepare to dock. You´d think docking would be easy, but when boats get as big as Daemon´s, it's something that needs to be done quite slowly or else it will become quite the mess.

While his men did as he said, Daemon turned around to look at me and Aethan with a satisfied expression. ''Son, I want you to stay quiet and simply observe what i do and say, is that something you can do ?''

Aethan nodded enthusiastically ''Yes, Father, I will make you proud !'' Daemon ruffled his son´s hair with affection ''You always do child. But i am serious about this , I am to speak with Lord Richard Darklyn about very serious issues. When it is your turn to be lord of Driftmark this will be your responsibility. And you, nephew.''

''Yes, uncle ?''

''You will follow me and Aethan to properly introduce ourselves to Lord Darklyn, after that I will give you an escort of guards and a bag of coins ... I would be pleased if you were to spend time with Lord Darklyn´s son. He is more or less your age, so it would be quite beneficial if the two of you got along.''

''I shall, uncle'' This was going much better than I expected. On one hand, I felt bad, because I was about to manipulate a child into financial fraud.

On the other hand, this was literally too easy to pass up, and I am the type of person to do things for shits and giggles.

...
Robert Darklyn, Son of the lord Darklyn of Duskendale. Was quite interested in me , asking questions non stop. We walked around Duskendale with some guards behind us who were clearly bored over having to follow around two stupid little kids walking around the shithole that was a Westerosi castle . Driftmark had spoiled me too much, in the Velaryon island, everything was organized and clean. Duskendale had none of that , the ''road'' was a muddy little track that smelled of every type of shit imaginable, from horses to bulls and even people. It was also so ... crammed is the word. Some families had to share houses and share the burden of the taxes to survive, one specifically unlucky bunch shared their house with 4 other families to afford living. Yikes , i don´t want to imagine how going to the bathroom works around there.

''Is it true that in your family, brothers marry sisters ?''

Damn. Did he really have to ask about that ''uhm ... yes''

''That´s disgusting,'' Darklyn said it while grinning, not even realizing he had insulted my house. Ah , the naivety and obliviousness of children. It was endearing how a child can be so blunt and not even realize it.

''And the dragons, can i see the dragons someday ?!'' Well, that is a less disgusting question ... and brings him right where I want him....

''Dragons? I can give you dozens, maybe a hundred dragons.''

''You can !? Where are they? WHERE ?!'' . I snickered at his excitement ''Calm down Robert, these dragons are right here in Duskendale, we just have to go and get them.''

He looked absolutely shocked ''H-here ? '' I playfully put my hand on his shoulder .''Yes, right here. The best type of Dragons, i am surprised you don´t see them. Golden Dragons. Tell me, Robert, have you ever heard of this Essosi merchant named Ponzi ?''

...
Our first pit stop was a guy named Hareg who worked as a blacksmith. His father had been an Ironborn named Harwyn who´d escaped from the oppression of his namesake Harwyn Hoare. So our friend Hareg here is quite concerned about being kicked out of Duskendale over supposedly being an Ironborn spy under the command of Harren the Black. The ironborn are the boogeymen here in Westeros before the conquest, Harwyn Hoare had conquered the Riverlands, Qhored Hoare had sacked Oldtown and controlled all the western coast of Westeros, from Bear Island to the Arbor. He could boast without lying that his writ ran wherever men heard the sounds of the waves crashing against the shore. So i could understand the whole ''Fear everybody that was ever born in the Iron Islands'' sentiment. Even if i didn´t really agree with it . Learn how to build proper castle walls against these fucking pirates and your problems go away. But it was about to work in my favor here, i needed the bottom of the pyramid scheme to be someone I knew couldn't refuse, Hareg would give my little friend Robert here some coin to seem more loyal.

Hareg had been hitting a sword with his hammer when he saw Robert and i get close, he immediately looked at the guards behind us and realized i was highborn as well , Robert was already his acquaintance.

''Uhm , hello Lord Robert and Lord ?...'' He sounded a bit nervous.

''Daeron , of the house Targaryen''

He cleared his throat and tried smiling '' Uhm .., What is it the two of you want from this blacksmith here? a sword? I can make you two the best swords and spears in Duskendale.''

Robert was about to say something , but i spoke first '' See , mister Hareg , i want to present you with an unique opportunity .''

He narrowed his eyes in suspicion ''What would that opportunity be ?''

Now it was my time to clear my throat and try and sound important. It´s very hard to sound anything but cute when you are in the body of a seven year old ''See , you will give us 10 golden coins today and get 20 tomorrow.''

Hareg didn´t want to give his coins , but looked at Robert ,who had a pleading expression , and relented ''You best not be lying , my lords.''

I smiled ''I am not. Just one more thing , tomorrow when we give you your 20 coins, would you mind spreading the word about our little service here ? just tell anyone interested to give 40 coins instead of 10''

he grumbled but said yes.

This shouldn´t be this fun...

...

Next, we spoke with a woman who was an ambitious social climber by the name of Sybell. Our talk with her was mostly the same, except we asked for 30 coins instead of 10. She tried her best to flatter a 7 seven-year-old child . It was quite disgusting how she treated Robert Darklyn like a god just so she could get a good word in for old lord Darklyn. Whelp, i guess that´s how feudalism works....but it´s going in my favor. I am a child, which means my credibility is naturally limited, so i needed to show that giving me money wasn´t actually a bad idea, so i chose people who i knew could not refuse me. Hareg for fear of being seen in a poor light by the Darklyns and Sybell for ambition.

We got the money from Sybell, then went to speak with Hareg, we paid him his 20 coins and then split up the 10 remaining evenly. He quickly spread this to the other merchants in Duskendale and we got more and more of these ''loans '' . We paid off Sybell quickly enough, seeing Robert Darklyn be so full of himself was quite funny to be honest. He hadn´t done anything to help besides ''being the lord´s son'' but that was sufficient.

We were making cash so fast that it was quite scary. Master Ponzi would be impressed and the Egyptians would bask at my pyramids, even if they were of a different sort.

Is this unsustainable? eventually, yes. But i am really quite curious to see how far it can go. There won´t be any real consequences to it, i doubt Lord Darklyn will let it out of control once he finds out what his kid is up to.

...

We were sailing back to Driftmark after spending two weeks in Duskendale , Aethan was regaling me in details of his father haggling like a fisherwife. Daemon Velaryon on the other hand looked at the fact i had three sacks of coin instead of the one he´d given me in confusion. He knew i hadn´t commited Robbery as his guards would never allow me , so in his view i had just made the money show up from thin air.

''Nephew'' he asked softly ''From what i heard you employed some strange... loan system with Robert Darklyn ? i am pleased you two found some common ground but ... care to explain to me where you got this...idea of yours ?''

I smiled smugly''I got it in an old book uncle , you see , there was this old essosi merchant...''

Now, the only thing playing in my mind is a certain 80´s classic ''Money for nothing....''

Suck it Baelish , you ain´t got nothing on me.

Chapter Text

I have felt anxiety before. School tests are absolute pains in the ass and the feeling of dread that mounts up when the clock is ticking and you realize your current pace is not fast enough is akin to Lovecraftian horror. Incomprehensible, inhuman and infinite. Attempting to engage women in conversation when you are a big fat nerd like I was is also quite a daunting task as well. But nothing could compare to the dread of receiving ravens.

I had sent four letters, one to each of my siblings and one to my parents, four replies I have received.

I cautiously look at them one by one ... thinking ''Which do I read first ?'' Well, there is but one answer, of course, I will read them in the order of the people i sent them to. This does however have a horrible implication: Reading Visenya´s first. Though that also means i don´t have to read it later... decisions...decisions...

There isn´t any avoiding it... so its better to do it as quickly as possible.

''To my brother, Daeron.

I have reviewed the contents of your message, and I have not been pleased. You have failed to adhere to a proper routine and i have , after reading in between the lines , deduced that you lack discipline and organization.

That is why i have taken it upon myself to make a routine i expect you to follow to the letter and without questioning or resistance. You are the blood of the Dragon and Old Valyria and I will not have you shaming our house. Failure to comply will result in harsh measures being taken until your cooperation is secured.

You must wake before the sun rises and run for at least one hour. The breaking of your fast must be done austerely, you must not be a glutton and must also not waste any more time than necessary with something as futile as eating. You eat to live brother, you don´t live to eat.

I will want you training with Ser Jacaerys the rest of your morning until it is time for the Luncheon. The same principles from Breakfast apply here.

Your studies with maester Orwyle will be done in the afternoon. I am not amused with his attempts at cramming down the faith of seven on you. I have raised my objections to our father and mother. Always remember this Daeron, you are the blood of Old Valyria and you will worship the fourteen flames like father and i do. I have encountered resistance on this subject with Aegon and Rhaenys. I will not tolerate it coming from you. I am however satisfied with your reported lack of interest in the seven. That is assuming you were telling me the truth in your letter.

Do not attempt to lie to me under any circumstances, i warn you that father has been teaching me spells of Old Valyria and i have gained some capacity to watch you from afar. There are some conditions to it, of course, but that is not what you need to know.

What you must understand is that i will know if you are lying, I AM watching you, i will know if you are following my commands and I will punish you in case you do not. You are my little brother and that is why i must be harsh on you to assure you grow into a proper man who will assist me and Aegon when it is time for us to rule Dragonstone.

Continuing your routine , you must do some more physical exercise in the period between the lessons with Orwyle and dinner. I would suggest swimming as it will help you develop your muscles and will make sure you grow more. I will not have my brother be a dwarf.

After your dinner, I recommend you acquaint yourself with the library. The mind must be sharpened like the body and books are its whetstone. I would like you to begin with themes of a more military nature. Read on the wars of the Freehold. I recommend the battles against the Ghiscari empire or the war against Garin the great and his Rhoynish water magic. I will expect you to write me essays on these topics in future letters.

Afterward, you must sleep, and make sure not to sleep too late , there is nothing more devastating to the mind than losing your average 8 hours of sleep at night. No , you must not allow inconveniences or unexpected happenings to disrupt your sleep schedule. There are very few things that compare in importance.

Drink Water. Plenty of it. I hear reports of Andal lords giving children your age some sips of wine. You must refuse if it is offered.

As previously said , I AM watching. Failure to comply will result in punishment. Do not doubt that I can inflict it, you know I can.

With care and concern, Visenya.''

...Holy shit...Is...is this real? i... I don´t even...

First off, Aerion is the father of the year right there, teaching witchcraft to his 13-year-old daughter so she can act like Big Brother from 1984. Second of all , what the fuck is wrong with this child? what ...who just wakes up one morning and decides to act like a police state to an 8-year-old child... a good chunk of her advice is good...especially the sleep part. Visenya would have a seizure with the school system it seems.

But...i don´t think i want to find out what her punishment is ... if she actually does know witchcraft.... i ... i am feeling quite a bit scared now. She is in my walls and in my head rent-free.

I don´t know if this confirms that Maegor was conceived through magic in canon but .. i am not doubting it anymore... guess i´ll have to start following her military routine now...boring as it may be... i am not an idiot and no way in hell am i testing to see if she´s bluffing or not.

Anyway...uhm....onto Aegon´s i hope he is more sane ... he is always sane.

''To Daeron.

Dragonstone has remained the exact same, brother. Dreary, gloomy and beautiful in its own solitary way.

It has gotten me thinking brother ... father and Senya always talk as if we are superior to everyone around us , yet we are stuck with barren islands on the narrow sea. At least the Velaryons engage with Westeros in trading...Father is always looking east to the free cities but... it never seems to work out for our house.

Perhaps we should look west instead of east? I am quite curious to meet these andal lords but Father never lets me. All he says is that we shouldn´t mingle with our lessers and all that babble about the fourteen and blood of Valyria and such...

I suppose this is all a preamble to me asking you for a ... favor.

Your nameday will come in two months and father will allow you a brief visit here in Dragonstone to celebrate it . I would be very grateful if you were to request him a small family trip to Oldtown as a nameday gift ... I understand that we are not the closest siblings but ... I would be quite grateful if you did this for me. Visenya won´t and Rhaenys only has her nameday by the end of the year, and even then she is more like to request a dress or frivolity of the sort, mine is also quite far away and i would rather not wait.

Oldtown is the heart of Westeros and i am very intrigued by it, the citadel especially. It is hopefully an interest that we could share brother, I am eager to learn and compare myself to the Andals. Are we truly better as Father says if we have dragons and no willingness to use them? I do not want to be another Targaryen lord of the narrow sea that does little and less during his tenure, i am unsure as to what my ambitions for my time as ruler shall be but ... there will be something. I will want you , Rhaenys, Orys and Visenya alongside me during these challenges when they come.

This talk must be boring you, but I do urge you to consider my request. I would be quite grateful

with care, Aegon.''

Huh ... so he started having ideas about Westeros this early? it is interesting to think about . I know in canon he visited the Arbor and Oldtown before the conquest , so i guess he must have gotten the idea from that ? or was the whole ''i saw white walkers in a dream'' thing what pushed him over the edge ?

i don´t know what´s more terrifying, Aegon brutally subjugating the seven kingdoms because he wanted to and could , or because he had a nightmare one day. One of these is scary in the cold calculated way, and the other is just unhinged, if he dreamed that genocide needed to be done then uhh goodbye dorne i guess.

But as far as the letter itself? it was uncharacteristically sweet of him. I will actually do what he asks because i am also curious to see the rest of Westeros. I could be a bit miffed that he literally did not respond or care about my experiences in Driftmark and made it all about his own person but... i won´t because i am not really all that mad about it. Go Aegon for being more level-headed and reasonable then police state Visenya.

'' To my sweet brother Daeron

I miss you, brother! Dragonstone is not the same without you when we are wed you must promise to not abandon me like this! it is not fair, Visenya gets Aegon and i have to stay alone. It makes me feel unwanted.

I was quite sad to hear that Ser Jacaerys has been taking it hard on you, i don´t have any interest in blades like Visenya, but i am sure it must hurt a lot to do all these things he demands of you! Maester Orwyle seemed kind though, i like maesters and i love my dancing instructor! When you return you must dance with me brother, i will be patient with you, i promise.

I also convinced Father to hire some bards and ministrels to sing here! you know how much i love songs! it makes me sad that you cannot hear them there in Driftmark . Don´t worry, I am sure that you will hear them whenever you come to visit us!

But something here has left me quite vexed: Father won´t let me tame Meraxes! It's not fair, NOT FAIR! i want a dragon and i am tired of having to ask for rides on Balerion and Vhagar. Meraxes is meant for me and i can feel it in my heart! Why did he let Visenya claim Vhagar at my age but not me? I call it NOT FAIR AT ALL! I even tried sneaking out of my room at night, but he somehow knew what i planned and caught me! my luck was terrible! i considered trying to tame the golden but no one can even find that dragon half the time, and I know how much you want that one for yourself so I left him be.

Oh, but i want Meraxes so baaad ! her silver scales are so beautiful and they reflect and shine in the moonlight! i love the feeling of the air on my hair when i am flying and i hate that I have to keep begging Father and Visenya all the time for it. It is so CRUEL! so cruel to force a lady like me to beg on my knees for something that is my birthright as a Targaryen.

I swear that I will do nothing more than fly when I get my dragon, i don´t think I´ll ever want to touch the ground again .

with love , Rhaenys.''

Ah...Rhaenys ... my relationship with her is quite ...complicated...i don´t really have any ill will against her or any of the sort . But it is very , very hard to be near someone when the whole sibling fuckery thing is always in the back of your mind. That´s made her uhm... try and overcompensate some flaw she thinks she has that makes me hate her ... man, i really should have done a better job dealing with her and making it clear that i don´t despise her

...

Maester Orwyle was continuing his great lecture about the seven, Andalos, and the Starry sept . I have heard this old toad speak of this shit ten times over by now, and i am quite fucking tired of it.

So, i did the most reasonable thing ever and decide its time to go for shock value , i have to admit that it gave me way too much pleasure.

''And King Hugor of the hill was crowned by the father himself with seven stars being pulled down from the heavens to make his crown...'' The maester carried on his boring lecture.

''Maester... i have a confession to make'' i really tried suppressing my amusent from the tone of voice.

''What is it Daeron ?"' He asked kindly

''I have seen the light of the one true god Maester. PRAISE BE R´HLLOR!'' I said with exaggerated excitement !

The maester paled with shock and started mumblinb incoherently ''b...but Daeron , th...the sev-''

I literally glared at him ''Can the seven provide me with shadow assasins if i bang i priestess ?! can they bring me back to life after just a fucking kiss !? CAN THEY PREDICT THE FUTURE IN THE FLAMES ?! NO! THEY CANNOT! R´HLLOR is the only god that matters to me!

...
As fun as that outburst was , it ended up with the tripling of my classes , so not worth it in the long run . At all.

I don´t even worship the red god , i just said it as a fuck you to Orwyle.

Westeros is awful , can´t wait to grow up and get DRAGON !

Chapter Text

Dragonstone is grim as hell. Seriously.

The day was cloudy as fuck and the sun was blocked out and the dragon-themed architecture of the castle alongside the smell of ash and brimstone didn´t help with convincing me I was not going to Dracula´s lair. Seriously, Dragonstone was built by Aenar the exile, and his followers who made this castle through the use of Valyrian sorceries and such ... maybe they could have tried and lightened the mood a bit? perhaps including literal ( and I am not making this up) Demons as part of your architecture was not a good call ... every tower of the castle had some form of Wyvern or dragon decoration, and even some chairs were dragon-shaped. Subtlety is not a trait of Old Valyria apparently.

Now, I still kinda love this place actually ... despite all the grimness, it is actually remarkably calm and peaceful, chill even. Sea Dragon Tower has a big library for nerds and a nice view of the shore.

There are also the big flying lizards. They are a massive upside to Dragonstone.

I was coming back to the island after more or less three months to celebrate my nameday! pretty neat if I say so myself. In my first life, I was always a bit of a greedy child when it came to birthdays. I tried to maximise the number of gifts received so that meant inviting a bunch of people that had nothing to do with me and probably didn´t even know my name. Seriously, I had my whole family tree drawn on a piece of paper to make sure I would not miss any cousins and uncles from the maternal or paternal side. The party was never something I actually enjoyed because loud noises hurt my fragile little ears.

Now that I am more ... grown up? does it work like that if I am 8 now but died as a 17-year-old? nobody ever thinks about the logistics of being an SI...*sigh* anyway, now that I am more mature as a person I realize that being a greedy grubber who doesn´t care about anything but getting gifts is an easy way to have no friends. Absolutely no one likes greedy, grasping people who pounce on every opportunity presented to them ... it's gross.

My uncle Daemon Velaryon had arranged a ship to take me from Driftmark to Dragonstone. It's a pretty short trip and I was already seeing my favorite bunker/Home of future war criminals that happened to be my siblings...The gigantic towers with dragon-shaped statues stood imposing in the distance, I could also see the docks I´d disembark on. Sweet.

First off, I need to make a *plan* for what I intend to do here. Step one, catch up with my favorite tavern brawler Orys Baratheon... I doubt i will be allowed to see him today because my mother would not like my family reunion to be ''sullied'' by the presence of a bastard. But I will try and find him later. Step two, try and maybe ask my father to do that trip Aegon wanted, doesn´t strike me as a bad idea to see the less shitty parts of Westeros. Especially considering Aegon is likely to be more emboldened by the presence of a fourth dragon rider and he might just decide to pull off the conquest early, and it would be good to at least know a bit of the places we will end up burning and subjugating in the future. My main focus is not ending up as the sibling that has to deal with the yellow toad of Dorne, that shit should not be my problem. Step three is *to try* to speak with Rhaenys ... look, being around her is very weird for me, because of the ... implications, so I generally just avoided her. But that also means that.Rhaenys, in her great childish intellect, decided that i absolutely despised her for some reason. And she just can´t handle it, Rhaenys is someone who craves acceptance and adoration at literally every moment. It's not nice of me to just let the poor child feel hurt like that.

Step 4 is my favorite step! I try to claim a dragon, the golden one! Now, there are a few ... restrictions on this ... lord Aerion will not allow me to claim one as I am way too young. So I´ll have to slip out of my room at night all sneaky peaky like... and that is also assuming i succeed in claiming the dragon instead of getting Quentyn´d ... I do not want to end up like Quentyn Martell. Finding said golden Dragon at night is easy because his scales are quite shiny and easy to spot... and he´s also a lazy fucker that no one bothered claiming before for some reason. He doesn´t seem to be the most aggressive like Vhagar, nor the most gentle like Meraxes. He likes to just sit in his place and hunt down sheep, though he will become murderous if bothered. He´s still a dragon

Now, the fact he hasn´t been claimed before means I get to pick his name ... on one hand, I could name him Sunfyre after the OG, and it would fit because of the color, and Sunfyre does sound nice but...that would mean associating myself with Aegon II and uhm... no thank you. There are worse Targs than him like Aegon the unworthy, Daemon the lord flea bottom, Aerion Bright Flame, and Aerys II... but that doesn´t make him good. That just makes him mediocre at being evil, which in a way is even worse.

Now, I also am maybe considering naming him after a Skyrim dragon like paarthunax or Alduin but that´s cheesy... am I that cheesy? dunno, I will figure it out later.

I guess a Valyrian name would be appropriate but i struggle to pronounce something like Jaehaerys if i choose some bigass mouthful of a name like Aegaerax I would barely be able to say it! but then again, so would the other people in Westeros...man, it could be kinda fun to name him something like that just to hear the Westerosi butcher his it ...

Maybe I´ll leave all this talk about his name for when he´s actually claimed. It seems like a most judicious proposition as Vizzy T would say.

...

I finally arrived at Dragonstone proper and stepped foot on the island! The first thing I see is my family, who was waiting for me. Nice.

Lord Aerion is a tall man with broad shoulders and deep purple eyes, his hair is more gold than silver. He is quite a nice father by Westerosi standards, he allows and supports Visenya breaking all the things expected of a woman in the world of ice and fire, while also supporting Rhaenys in her choice to be more ''girly'' if you will. He cares about Orys (who has an extremely dodgy conception, let's not focus on that) despite him being a bastard, he tries to be present in Aegon´s life and he hated sending me off to foster because it meant being distant from one of his children. He only relented after my mother insisted. He wore a red doublet, ironic considering that will be the color of House Targaryen in the future when Aegon creates the house sigil, words, and all those little details.

Unfortunately, he is also a massive racist with his whole Valyrian supremacism and he uhm...*coughs* claims Right of the first night. Seriously though, Aerion and most Valyrians, in general, are so overwhelmingly racist by default. Visenya just thinks every other race is full of ''barbarians'' who are not even worthy of being ''civilized'' by her. Rhaenys is a bit less extreme thankfully, but her motto still pretty much is ''no grounded man will ever be worthy of me''. Aegon catches a monster W by not thinking everyone else is beneath him because he won the genetic lottery and got the dragons, he mostly judges people based on their skills. The trust he gave to Orys in the canon is proof of that.

Like, really the attitude of ''i answer to neither god nor man'' fell apart quick as fuck in Dorne and for Maegor who made the impressive achievement of sucking so bad that the Westerosi lords put aside their bickering just to get rid of him. That is genuinely an achievement considering Westerosi loves nothing more than to slaughter each other. Turns out that Dragons are kinda like fighter jets, they will win you any fight against someone who doesn´t have them. But they won´t help your soldiers occupy the territories you just took. There is a need for local support. Thankfully Aegon understood that and so did Jaehaerys. Every king that did not understand that and used the ''I am a dragon !'' line gets killed. Maegor, my namesake the young dragon, and even Aerys II are examples of that

It also falls apart when you realize the human body is very easy to stab

My mother was standing right beside him with a gentle smile. She was slim with the same purple eyes as my father, though her hair was more on the silver end of the ''silver-gold'' color that the Valyrians have. She wore a blue dress to pay homage to house Velaryon since she was born Valaena Velaryon and not Targaryen.

Visenya was uhmmm....glaring inside my soul with a stern and serious expression that made me want to run away. She wore hair with braids and mostly seemed annoyed at having me here. But then again, she is always annoyed, not really my fault i suppose.

Aegon is just a miniature of his father in every way except the hair. Aerion liked his a bit longer while Aegon preferred it cut short He had a blank expression, even as a kid Aegon was a master of doing the poker face. God knows what he´s thinking about and unless you ask he will never tell

Rhaenys had her golden hair long and loose, she wore pretty much just a replica of our mother´s dress. She was also quite uhm...excited to see me considering i was basically tackled into a bear hug by her. It makes me a bit sad. She does it because she thinks I despise her for no reason and Rhaenys craves acceptance from everyone around her... I just really cannot look at her without remembering ''oh yeah, you are going to have to marry this child, your SISTER'' and that makes me push her away...so I suppose it is my fault.

''Brother !'' She cried out while giggling and holding me in a tight embrace ''How I have missed you !''

''o...Oh yes, I missed you very much as well Rhaenys...'' speaking is quite hard since she´s crushing my ribs with a strength no 11-year-old girl should have.

'' Now, now Rhaenys, calm down, we all want to see Daeron as well'' That was my mother speaking and saving me from getting squeezed to death by Rhaenys.

She pouted and looked hurt when I gently pushed her away from me ....great...I am already offending this girl without even trying. It's not my fault her skin is as thin as glass! ...But it does make me feel guilty ... so I try and hold her hand to make up for it...she seems appeased. For now. ''Son '' my father said ''It has been a long time has it not ?"'

''Only three moons father. It has not been long at all. Though I have missed you dearly all the same, of course.''

He smiled at me with genuine happiness. ''It pleases me to know i am so loved by my child...'' he seemed to remember something ''I am sure you still know where your chambers are. Go and rest my son. You must be exhausted from all this traveling... I will have the servants prepare you a bath. We shall have a feast in your honor this day!''

I smiled ''Thank you father , i am very grateful.'' He waved dissmissively ''It is no more then you deserve for something as important as your nameday ! You are my son , a true dragon. The blood of old Valyria runs in your veins. Anything less would be insulting !'' Aerion actually made my heart melt a bit , my ''first'' dad was not the loving type . So this is quite a unique experience for me ...

I looked at Visenya ''Sister, I read those books you spoke of , about the wars between the freehold and the ghiscari. The essence of it is that the Valyrians win because they have dragons , while the Ghiscari lose because they don´t'' There really isn´t much else to talk about it. Legit military training and tactics kinda go out the way when you can repel a host 100 times your size just by saying dracarys and letting your pet do some barbeque.

Visenya was grinning at me from ear to ear . I don´t know what´s more disturbing. Her happiness or her annoyance. If she´s happy, general rule of thumb it´s at the expense of someone else. Her annoyance is also like a predator missile:once it locks on to you, say goodnight. ''Yes, little brother. That is just how things work, our ancestors burned these dogs and salted their lands for their audacity of trying to claim our dragons ...the only negative was that the freehold didn´t finish cleaning the world from the dirt that is the Ghiscari. I am pleased you did as instructed. I was watching.''

Switch Ghiscari for Jews and Valyrian for German and Visenya will sound more like Hitler than the actual Hitler. HOLY SHIT.

''Ye...yes, sure, sister...'' i really don´t even know how I am supposed to answer that...

''Brother'' rang the voice of Aegon'' about that ...thing i asked'' i gave him a thumbs up ''Don´t worry about it brother.'' Aegon at least managed to mutter a half hearted ''Thank you'' before retreating back into silence like Homer Simpson blending into a bush.

''Now , i know all of you are missing me dearly and all , but i am quite tired ... so i am going to my chambers now '' My family nodded in understanding . Except Rhaenys who just kept clinging on to me '' Sister....please let me go''

''No.''

''I am asking nicely''

''the answer is still no.''

''I promise i´ll...uhm... Dance with you . There, that´s what you like right ?'' I will come to regret this decision.

She seemed very, very pleased with herself' ''Yes... I can accept that...''

I went to my room and promptly collapsed in the bed and took a sweet sweet nap. First the feast and then (hopefully) claiming a dragon! (Getting Quentyn´d)

Chapter Text

Feasts in Westeros are strange, dangerous things. Once you start thinking about it, more major characters have died during feasts than battles during the main series. Robb and essentially all the northern nobility, Joffrey getting dunked on, there is the infamous Oakheart wedding in Dorne where Wyl of Wyl (Absolute Dornish asshole and general POS) invaded a wedding, killed the brides family and sold off Alys Oakheart to Myrish slavers.

For me? the danger in feasts comes from two different, though not less dangerous, threats. Horrible music. Seriously, if I hear the bear and the maiden fair one more time I am going to explode. Florian and Jonquil is a horrible song!. Although i am not allowed to say that near Rhaenys if I wish to continue living. Ever.

Thankfully Lord Aerion is a very private guy and made this feast family only, at which point I requested no music, much to the delight of Aegon and Visenya and the horror of Rhaenys who looked at me as if I had slapped her in the face.

The second threat is, unfortunately, unavoidable: Pushy family members.

*sigh* at least the food is nice

''Yes Rhaenys , Driftmark was nice'' I said drily. Since we are betrothed she sits right beside me on the table...and oh boy is this girl talkative.

Unfortunately, she is still a child. So her conversation is not particularly...interesting. She mostly tells me some gossip that i don´t care about and asks me the same question ''How was it in Driftmark'' Over and over again but with slightly different wording. I know that´s what children do, but damn if it isn´t annoying AF.

She giggled ''i hope you don´t plan on sailing instead of flying when we grow up.'' I glared at her ''I am not an idiot sister. Why would i ever do that? Dragons are so much better in every possible way'' Rhaenys looked delighted. Dragons are the only interest we share pretty much. ''Right ?! I feel so sad for everyone who isn´t a part of our family, they will never know how good it feels to fly, i can´t wait to claim my own Dragon so I can be at the clouds whenever i want instead of begging for Visenya or father to take me on a ride'' She crossed her arms in annoyance''It is so unfair! I am sure I could claim a Dragon, but our father always says I am too young, but he was fine when Visenya did it.''

''Father knows best sister.'' Rich and hypocritical coming from me, considering i am planning on claiming my own Dragon today. But I have little sibling privileges and I intend to abuse them to their absolute maximum. ''And you know it was different with Visenya.''

Rhaenys violently shook her head ''No it wasn´t, father just likes her better. Did i tell you that he´s given her Dark Sister ?''

Well. Visenya is Aerion´s favorite. But that doesn´t mean his love for the rest of us is little or anything like that.

Wait a minute.

What did she say about Dark Sister?

'' Excuse me, sister. Father gave her *what*?''

''Dark Sister,'' Rhaenys said. I stared at her dumbfounded, who the fuck gives a sword to a 13-year-old? I can see why Visenya thought it would be OK to give the sword to Maegor at the same age now. Jesus Christ.

''And...you didn´t tell me that instead of gossiping because ?'' Rhaenys shrugged ''I had forgotten, these things about swords and fighting are terribly dull for me. I don´t like seeing people getting hurt. I don´t see why our sister likes all these things with battles and war.''

''If you don´t care for swords, why are you jealous father´s given her Dark Sister ?''

Rhaenys had an actual software crash in her brain and just stared blankly at me trying to think of an answer. It was genuinely entertaining to watch. Words can´t do it justice. Eventually, she recovered and kicked my feet from below the table in revenge. Petty.

''Children! Children!'' Said my father on his dragon-shaped throne . It honestly looked pretty cool, the chairs that me and my siblings sat on were also shaped like dragons , but they were much smaller and less detailed in comparison to his.

We all turned to look at Father. Aegon and Visenya sat on the other side of the table. Beside one another like me and Rhaenys since they were also betrothed.

''Since it is just family here, i will spare a speech, i do hope you forgive me for that Daeron.'' My father said chuckling.

''I will Father. Whenever you go on one of your speeches, you talk too long and I stop listening.''

My father deflated a bit but my mother snorted ''He is right Husband. You do tend to drag on''

Aerion recovered quickly ''A TOAST ! for my youngest son and his 8 years of life !''

The toast was a bit strange since...we were children and drank water for it. But it did get better since my mother came near me and gave me a kiss in the cheek ''I will always love you, little one.''

Aww motherly affection always makes my heart melt a bit.

Afterwards came a tradition of sorts. Westerosi lords allow their children a sip of wine during their nameday, some like Aerion allowed an entire goblet. But only one thank god. The children of Westeros are already fucked up and generally grow up into vile despicable monsters that consistently perform marital rape and mass oppression of the common folk, they did not need child alcoholics on top of it. They get into that stuff anyway when they grow up.

Rhaenys held the goblet for me because of tradition and stuff. She does not really understand that Wine was meant to be appreciated and sipped slowly instead of chugged down the throat. So i had to , very gently of course, show her how it was actually done , she looked a bit offended but acquiesced. It is for the best that a child does not understand how to properly go on a drinking binge. I was a very naughty teen who sometimes sneaked a drink or two when my parents were not looking. Maybe that´s why i am such an asshole. But i ain´t ashamed of it, for the force to be perfectly balanced, Assholes are necessary.

Aerion and Valaena looked at me lovingly and proudly as I slowly sipped the wine. It was actually really fucking good . So sweet , and it was not even the arbor gold that everyone in-universe likes to talk about. Man , i am definitely tasting that when i get the chance. Just gotta make sure not to become like my namesake the drunkard, i prefer Daeron I thank you very much. The Gigachad who started a pointless war in Dorne successfully subjugated the country without dragons at age 14 and then died in an ambush without any heirs except a religious fanatic, his god-tier uncle, and...Aegon IV. The Young Dragon is my personal GOAT.

As I was drinking i realized that Aegon was staring at me with a pleading expression. Oh right. That.

''Father, might I make a request ?''

''Of course !'' He answered brightly ''this is your nameday, you are entitled to one.''

''Well, I... would like for us to make a family trip to Oldtown Father. I am quite curious to know all these Westerosi Lords and Ladies and their castles.''

Aegon and Valaena jumped on that shit so fast that it was comical ''Father I think that´s an excellent idea that my little brother has ! '' this is probably the only time i´ve seen Aegon cheerful instead of his quiet self.

''What a fantastic idea my son !'' Said my mother with wayyy too much enthusiasm ''I think it would do wonders for Daeron and Rhaenys to meet all the lords and ladies they can, and i am sure Visenya will not complain if i bring her with me to visit the Starry sept.'' Last part was said more as a command than a statement. Because Valyrian supremacist Visenya would not enjoy visiting the Starry Sept. Not at all. But i know i would enjoy seeing her attempting to be civil and polite. It would be amusing at the very least.

My mother was always a bit bothered by the fact that her children were either completely uncaring about her gods or actively hostile. She probably thinks it would do ''good for our soul'' or something like that. I really don´t care much either way to be honest.

Aerion looked at me, befuddled.''Why would you wish for such a thing my son ? what could these Andal Barbarians have that is of interest? they are inferior to us in every way, i can guarantee that no Andal castle, lord or lady will ever compare to Dragonstone or your own family.''

''Exactly Father.'' Said Visenya with an angry glare directed at Aegon. She probably understood exactly what was happening here and did not like it in the slightest ''There is nothing that the Andals have built that can even hope to compare with our own glorious castle. I think my little brother´s wits must be impaired from the wine , perhaps he could a different request tomorrow. When he is control of himself.''

Aerion smiled at his favorite child ''Perhaps we should do that , Daughter.''

I shook my head and sighed.I can´t believe i will have to play on the racism of my family to get my way . But i´m an adaptable guy... ''Father , you promised me a request on my nameday , you cannot go back on your word...but as for the reason i wish to see the Andals ? it is... curiousity and nothing else. Like how some of our forefathers collected wild animals to watch.''

Yeah. I am going to puke afterwards. Aegon understood my game here but even he looked like he wanted to puke a bit. Jesus christ.

Aerion shrugged ''I suppose i can understand that....very well my child if that is your wish then it shall be done !''

Rhaenys looked a bit excited , she is a very outgoing type of person and it does seem in character for her to like travelling ''Oh ! i wish to see the tourneys ! I´ve never seen a tourney before !''

Visenya looked quite displeased ''It is fake fighting sister. Nothing more.'' She then turned to Aegon and then whispered something that made him sweat. I gave him a look of pity. Good luck bro , you´ll need it.

''Father , this has all been very good but ... now i am quite tired , would you mind if i went to my chambers ?''

''Of course not my son.''

''Not so fast brother'' said Rhaenys holding my shoulder. ''You promised me a dance !''

Right . I did that.

Fuck.

''*sigh* fine sister... let´s do it.''

''And i want everyone to watch !'' Said Rhaenys with glee

NO NO NO WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GIRL ? DO YOU WANT TO HUMILIATE ME !?

''Of course we will , Daughter !'' Said Valaena.

FUUUCK

Rhaenys took me by the hand and... she spun me around like a freaking ragdoll. I had no idea what the fuck was happening, i managed to not stumble too much and not step on her feet so that was nice.... she then started speeding up. I felt my dinner rise to my throat. Thanks, Rhaenys.

Seriously, what does this girl do all day? it is not normal for a child to be this good at an activity.

''S..sister please slow down'' i said feeling as if i was about to puke. She giggled in response. The nerve.

I puked on the floor. She looked horrified.

Giggle at that you little shit. Hope you hit your pinky toe on the furniture.

My mother was as fast as the flash and in the blink of an eye was holding me to see if i was fine. Rhaenys was gracious enough to apologize at least.

But what truly matters is this: Right afterwards I went to my good old chambers! There was not a lot here truth be told. Some books from my time before Driftmark. A cozy bed and a window that would serve my purpose now.

See i had everything ready. By everything, i mean a horse (Technically a pony but shush) and a whip. For dragontaming!

The dragon I want to tame lives inside a cave on a hill quite close to the castle here. It´s like...a 30-minute horse ride at most. He´s a lazy bum of a dragon so i know he will be there.

Lord Aerion would not let me do this, so all I have to do is go behind his back like the good son that i am!

Oh, and before anyone dares question the logistics of this :

SHUT

UP

Thank you.

...

My (Soon mine actually but let´s ignore that) Dragon was feasting on a poor innocent lamb he had probably hunted down mercilessly. What a chill fellow.

Her (I think it´s a she , but i dunno how dragon sexes work) golden scales were extremely shiny , even in the night. If she weren´t a monstrous murder machine I´d even call her beautiful! The green eyes she had really complemented the gold.

Her cave was massive. But that made sense as she was also massive more or less the size of Meraxes who was bigger than Vhagar and like...half of Balerion? At some point, scaling becomes difficult with these truly massive beasts that defy human proportions and physics. Seriously, Balerion was so incomprehensibly huge that his sheer weight should cause him to collapse. But i guess Dragons are creatures of magic and can bullshit their way through logic. Great work George.

You know , now that i am confronted by this creature i am somewhat hesitant to keep going. Alas, my mother raised an arrogant derp, but not a bitch.

I cleared my throat and tried speaking in the harshest tone possible. Which was not very harsh considering i had the vocal cords of an 8-year-old. But i can only work with what I've got.

''Dohaeras''

The lazy ass dragon didn´t even lift its head to acknowledge my presence. That....that is humiliating...like...come on now...

OK, that didn´t work, lets try...bartering.

''I promise I will give you...uhm.... lots of treats! that´s right! sheep, lamb, and cattle? Do you want it? it´s yours, my friend! as long as you let me be your rider !''

Completely ineffective. The little bitch had the absolute nerve to make what sounded like a dragon laugh. Or maybe that was my imagination dunno.

If being gentle won´t work, let´s try being harsh! Dragons like strength after all, so I hit her with my whip!

''Dohaeras !'' I said more forcefully this time.

That did get the dragon´s attention. She stared right at me and...

I was burning.

Oh

I am getting Quentyn´d

FUCK

Ok, i exaggerated a bit ... she did not burn me whole...she gave me some (painful as fuck) burns and melted my clothes , but i am mostly intact. But if a dragon spit out a bit of fire at you , what other reaction would you expect besides complete panic? Seriously. Getting Quentyn´d is not something anyone wants in their life.

Perhaps trying to use force on a creature that can quite literally kill me with its breath, was not the best idea of mine...She even seemed amused.*AMUSED* with my despair. My dragon was a troll at heart. I would love her if she wasn´t trolling ME.

*sigh* what do I do here? being gentle won´t work. Being harsh is one way ticket to hell...what can i possibly promise this little shit that will convince her ...actually....

I just had a monkey Neuron activation moment here, how stupid was I not to think of this before?

''Listen here girl'' i said with a soft tone '' If you allow me to be your rider, i can promise you we will do a ton of War crimes together! Just think of all the fields and armies you will get to burn ?''

The dragon seemed interested.

what fucked up world am I living in.

''That´s right girl, just think on it... is being my dragon so bad when you get all the war crimes? I promise you I will give you cities to raze to the ground.''

I got closer to her and petted her chin a bit
''There there sweet girl...'' i said in a gentle tone
clearly she was liking it considering she was purring like a house cat

I tried climbing on her back now... it was a bit hard with my legs being so tiny. But i got the job done!

I am going to name her Shrykos after the Valyrian goddess of new beginnings. Why ? because being an SI is a new beginning and I'm cheeky , but most importantly

I have a dragon.

I HAVE A DRAGON.

We´re going to have so much fun together!

*maniacal laughter*

Chapter Text

Do you know something about parents and authority figures in general? They do not like being disobeyed. Even benevolent authority figures are like this, perhaps even more so, as they see resistance to their commands as essentially a way of self-harm.

Case and point: Aerion is a bit, just a little bit, vexed with me. He is someone who deeply loves his children. The very idea of one of us getting hurt is enough to rile him up into homicide. It is a bit interesting how someone who, by our moral standards, is completely despicable with his racism, incest, and feudalism, can at the same time be a genuinely caring dad. People are funny like that.

I suppose he is not *totally* wrong. Attempting to claim a dragon as an 8-year-old in the dead of night with no supervision is not a very wise thing to do. It does not help that I got some (mild but painful) burns and that my clothes got melted. Oh, he is also not a big fan of the whole going behind his back part of this. To be fair, if my kid had put himself in a dangerous situation and returned with an injury, I'd be pretty miffed about it. Especially if I had told the child *not* to do it. Aerion is very direct when it comes to dragons: Aegon would claim (or try to claim, but Aerion has zero doubts Aegon will succeed) Balerion after his death. Rhaenys and I can claim one when he deems we ''sufficiently prepared'' and Visenya claimed Vhagar on her thirteenth nameday while he was watching and Dragonkeepers were around to make sure she didn´t mess anything up.

'' WHAT WERE YOU THINKING !!!'' My father screamed. I was back inside the hall of dragonstone. Shrykos had been taken by the dragonkeepers and I was getting some maesters to treat the couple of burns I had on my body. My mother looked at me with tears of worry in her eyes (for no reason besides being a protective mother).

''I wasn´t papa, soowy'' I tried making my best baby impression. I am an 8-year-old. I look and sound cute and I will charm my way out of anything! I even put my head down to add to the look of pure guilt, sorrow, and innocence! emotional manipulation at its finest.

Aerion´s voice softened but it was still laced with concern and anxiety he gripped my arm. Poor dad was shaking with worry ''Child, there are reasons why I do not allow any of you near Dragons without supervision. Their power must be respected Daeron. I am so disappointed, you were always a well-behaved child. What brought about this change ?''

...Aerion might have been emotionally touched or something. Visenya was not. Not in the slightest. She was doing her usual of glaring into my soul and ripping out any secrets that I possibly kept close to my chest. Aegon was right beside her with an expression of concern and relief. Concern for me and relief that he was no longer the target of Visenya´s ire as he had been since yesterday. He even had the nerve to imitate the look of ''Good luck bro'' I had given him the previous day. Thanks for the support, DICKHEAD.

''You do know he is lying, father ?'' she said in a cold tone. This time I narrowed my eyes right back at her. You´re my big sister, you´re supposed to help me get away with this type of thing! ''He had a mount and a whip with him'' she added drily ''This was clearly planned''

Valaena gasped. ''My son! why would you go behind our back like this !?''

Aerion´s eyes darkened and I gulped. Oh, I hate being on the receiving end of scoldings in any way shape or form. Thank you for all the help Visenya, i will be sure to remember this moment.

''You foolish child'' he sighed and tightened his hold on my arm even more. ''That was ill done and attempting to lie your way out of it even more so. You knew i would not allow you to claim a dragon so young , so you went behind my back and plotted. I do not know whether to be furious that you did it or proud of your intelligence for it. Either way my son, you have a dragon. That comes with responsibilities. What have you named your dragon ?''

''Shrykos , father.'' i said meekly ''After the goddess of new begginings...''

''Good'' he said ''You honor our gods . You will begin instructions with the Dragonkeepers as soon as possible. I will not have my son unable to ride the dragon he has claimed. You will not cheat these lessons, my child. Do not try.''

''Y...yes father...''

He shook his head. Tired ''If I had half a mind I would cancel that trip of yours. Yet I gave my word and for some of us that matters. *My Son*. I will make sure you have a dragonkeeper with you when it is time for you to continue fostering in Driftmark. That is all. You will be confined to your rooms until your burns heal.''

I walked back to my room after that. Though I had to handle twenty-ish minutes of my mother looking betrayed and horrified. Seriously, she acted like I turned into Harvey Dent with half my face burned off but no. I had some slight burns in the chest, that´s it. However, her hurt and grief did manage to touch my selfish and arrogant heart. I do not like seeing sad moms, moms deserve the world.

Anyways... I was about to open the door to my chambers when i heard a certain girly voice behind me. ''What was that you told me yesterday, *little* Brother? that father knows best?''

'' Oh, uhm...hello Rhaenys'' I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. Which was not a lot.

''Why did you do that ?'' She asked with clear bitterness

I blinked ''That what ?'' Rhaenys looked annoyed now ''Lie to me! Why didn´t you tell me what you were going to do? why did you say one thing and then do the exact opposite? '' I put my hands up in a futile attempt to calm her ''Look sister...It was a very unkind thing of me to do...and I am sorry...*but* I did it because I didn´t want you following me around or telling.''

She looked even more annoyed ''I wouldn´t have told anyone! I am your sister !'' Yeah, tell that to *dear* Visenya. ''And why didn´t you want me to come with ?! I could finally have claimed Meraxes, we could be flying together! Do you just not want me ?! Is that it !'' her voice starts to crack and I can see tears forming in her eyes

Oh shit. Why the hell is she going to that line of conversation !??? Bail. Bail now. ''NO NO NO Calm down Sister... i was just worried you would get caught is all , you uhm... told me you got caught once and I worried you´d get caught again if you tried ...'' I added a nervous chuckle at the end of this pathetic attempt at recomforting her that was just that: pathetic. Rhaenys didn´t even hear what i said pretty much. Really, she is acting more like an 8-year-old than I am. It´s jarring the difference in maturity between her and my other two siblings. Maybe being more ''childish'' so to speak is why Aegon liked her over Visenya in canon?

She was full-on crying now. *sighs* way to go with emotional reassurance...''It´s so unfair... I want a Dragon, why do you and Senya get one but not me? Why is it you can go and claim one in secret without getting caught but not me? Aegon will be lord, Visenya is stronger and smarter than me, she has Dark sister and Vhagar and now you get a Dragon despite being my younger *sobs* I am useless !''

Just great. The kid´s throwing a tantrum now. I ain´t got no idea how to deal with this shit...how the fuck did I trigger a fucking inferiority complex in Rhaenys just by claiming a Dragon? Did she always have one when I wasn´t looking? Possible I guess. If I'm being honest here, dealing with her shit was not something I did before. Time to try now, calming an 11-year-old girl doesn´t sound hard. Just infuriating.

I moved in to hug her. She sobbed on my shoulders and i felt her tears ''No Sister, you are not useless. Don´t think like that! Sure, Aegon will be lord , Visenya will be a warrior and you aren´t and sure I tamed a Dragon before you. But you know what you have we don´t ?''

'' W...what ?"' She asked

''A kind heart''

''Just that ?'' she asked dissapointed. Of course, trying to be cliche with an 11-year-old blew up in my face... of course...

'' You can sing and play music''

She still looked sad ''Oh well ? so what? nobody cares about that...'' I sighed, the girl is stubborn. ''No Rhaenys, there is someone who cares about that. *me*. I care. So how about you...sing for me ?''

Rhaenys looked a bit touched now ''Y...You want to hear me sing ?...'' I wiped away the tear in her eye ''Yes I do, Father wants me stuck in my rooms anyways. Surely you can help me not die of Boredom?

She looked a bit embarrassed before grinning from ear to ear in excitement. How emotionally stable of her. ''Let me just go grab my flute !'' She then ran off so fast i swore this was a cartoon and I would be able to see a smoke trail soon enough. Roadrunner and Coyote style. It took her less then two minutes to come back with a flute in her hand. Rhaenys then spent the rest of the day singing to me. She sang until her voice started giving in and i listened to each and every single one of her songs. Most were the average Westerosi tunes I despised but pretended to like for her sake and a couple few she made up on the spot that actually sounded pretty good. Rhaenys *was* actually pretty good with a flute.

She only left late on the evening. ''Sister. Would you...like to fly with me later ?''

She immediately nodded. That´s probably the thing she desires the most in the world. The maesters were absolutely not exaggerating how much she liked it. Really , whenever Rhaenys does get around to claiming Meraxes she probably won´t touch the ground again , Aerion and Visenya have gotten tired of saying ''no'' to her consistent and relentless requests for ''quick'' rides on their dragons that last like the whole day.

''YES! I Would love to !'' She narrowed her eyes ''You will always fly with me when I ask , *right* ?'' Man... I fell headfirst into that one.

''Of course sister , whenever you want a dragon ride just ask me and I´ll give you one !'' She legit clapped in excitement, kissed me on the cheek, and then ran off.

Afterwards i collapsed in my bed and started staring at the ceiling. Wasn´t there someone i forgot to speak with ? Like...who was it again ?

Oh right. Orys.

Chapter Text

Fun fact: Flying is very, *very* cool. The feeling of the wind on your face at high speeds is...quite hard to put into words. But I think exhilarating is an acceptable way to describe it. You also get to see a lot of cool views from so high up! Dragonstone looks just as gloomy and depressing from high up as from below! Seriously Aenar, when you built this place, you should have tried making it more cheerful. But it does look cool in its own way.

The part where you basically are flying on a pet is also...very entertaining to say the least. Shrykos is a little bitch who (I AM NOT DELUSIONAL I SWEAR) has been trying to give me motion sickness for no reason besides the ''lols''. A troll at heart. Mounting her is also tiring. Like, mounting a dragon does not seem like something that should be tiring since you´re just sitting in a single spot, but it is *very* exhausting. Shrykos herself gets tired after over three hours of flight.

Dragonriding also gives you drip. Riding clothes are actually kinda cool looking, the saddle is comically big for a single person. But I will forever whine about the gloves that we have to use to grip the reins are a bit rough on my little baby hands. *Whiny noises*

Alas, like every activity, it requires ...training and practice to be performed well! In no time at all I´ll be able to properly commit war crimes with my siblings! Lovely!

''Sit up straight in the saddle Daeron,'' said Visenya in her typical disapproving tone. We were up in the skies, she was on Vhagar, her bronze dragon with blue eyes. Dark sister was on her hip. It´s disturbing that a 13-year-old has a Valyrian steel sword.''I will not have my brother be a hunchback.'' I grumbled in response ''It would be easier if there wasn´t so much extra weight on my back !'' Rhaenys had invented medieval glue and refused to leave my side now that I had a dragon, clinging to my back while I rode. ''Oh shush brother, you promised me that whenever I wanted to fly with you, I could !'' She even made sure to cling to me tighter as if afraid I'd make her leave, but Visenya narrowed her eyes at our sister ''He is right Rhaenys. Before he can take you flying, he needs to learn it himself.''

I felt extremely smug at that moment, while Rhaenys just looked as if someone had betrayed her family and burned down her home. Very reasonable reaction girl, very reasonable. ''You two can´t get rid of me!''

''Fine, fine just stop putting so much weight on me !'' She pouted but did as I said. It´s so weird being around two cute children knowing they all grow up to be monstrous war criminals. I mean...if you think about it, Rhaenys died after incinerating hundreds of thousands in an incestuous marriage with her brother and other sister leaving her three-year-old child motherless. Visenya did the same except she supported her tyrannical and rapist son on top of it while keeping her grandnephew and grandniece as political prisoners. That´s not mentioning the genocide and terror campaign in Dorne.

Yeah, they´re pretty messed up. And when war inevitably comes (because I can´t see a reason why Aegon won´t try the conquest in this timeline) I will also become a war criminal who borders on genocidal. It´s a Targaryen tradition, it would be racist to stop me.

''The bond between a Dragon and his rider is unique, one of a kind'' said Visenya making her best impression of a teacher ''My bond with Vhagar is not the same as your bond with Shrykos and your bond is not the same as father´s with Balerion. In time, your feelings will become one with hers and she will obey your commands without question.''

I nodded and tried paying attention as she continued her explanation ''Remember that a dragon chooses its rider and has its own personality. If Shrykos allowed you to claim her, there must be something in common between the two of you.''

My dragon made its opinion known by grumbling. Dragons aren´t supposed to grumble. ''Make your authority known, little brother, by whipping her in case of misbehavior but reward her for the opposite. Speak all your commands as clearly as possible, as time goes on she will know what you want just from thought but until that happens Shrykos must learn to obey your voice, so don´t speak so fast she cannot understand your meaning. Especially when it comes to using Dragonfire. The keepers will use some goats for you to practice it.''

Rhaenys was listening to all that as if it were the Gospel coming from the mouth of a saint or something. She has an obsession with Dragons and flying, but it is a bit cute seeing it in person. I have caught her drooling and mumbling about it more than once. Although her expression changed to mischievous. I hate mischief.

''Sister, Daeron. How about the two of you go on a race ?''

''No'' Visenya and i answered drily and at the same time.

''Oh come on now , You know you want to Senya. And you do too Dae.''

I fucking HATE nicknames that just shorten people´s names. They´re unoriginal and just not very fun.

''No i don´t.'' i said but Visenya looked conflicted for a bit before huffing out ''Fine , how bad can it be ?'' Rhaenys looked smug

I hate her.

''Don´t lose Daeron! it´ll look bad for me since I am on your back !''

I lost.

Miserably so

Visenya even gave out one of her very rare smiles of happiness ''You rode well brother! I just happen to have more experience, there is no shame in losing.''

Rhaenys was not so kind and kicked me in the shins when I dismounted at the end.

*Sighs* Sisters are hard to deal with.

...

Orys Baratheon is an ...interesting fellow.

Mother hates him for a simple reason: he´s a bastard. Unlike Catelyn who felt Jon was a threat or something, Valaena absolutely knows Orys can´t do shit because he doesn´t and will never have a Dragon. So she´s just being petty.

Unlike Jon Snow, however, Orys has absolutely *no* shame or remorse about being a bastard. He doesn´t give a fuck about never inheriting anything and he doesn´t really feel any jealousy towards us. He likes fighting and he is a drunk despite only being 16. Being a bastard gives him quite a lot more leeway and freedom to just kinda do whatever he wants. Our father intends for Orys to serve as master at arms for Aegon, and that´s something he is actually quite suited for.

He´s also quite a doting older sibling. Aegon, in particular, likes hearing his stories about hunts and tavern brawls, Orys really does love his tavern brawls and oh boy does he get on them a lot. He has thick black hair, black eyes, and a bit of a beard. One thing about him that is quite...concerning, is his absolute inability to let go of grudges. Canon Orys died staring and smiling at the hand of a dude called Walter Wyl he´d claimed in ''repayment'' for the hand that his father Wyl the widowlover had taken from Orys like ... 20 years prior. That´s what I call holding a grudge.

I hadn´t gotten the chance to speak with him in a bit. Valaena wouldn´t let him in official feasts and such, and while Aerion did have the power to overrule her there, Orys himself just isn´t someone who cares about formalities or pleasantries. He´s a pretty blunt person and I enjoy his presence quite a bit, he´s essentially Robert Baratheon before his decline personality-wise. Not in fighting skills though, Orys is quite good and practices a lot...but prime Bobby B is an entirely different beast.

I would also like to know who his mother was and why he is called ''Baratheon''. But Aerion never tells and Orys himself doesn´t know or care in particular.

I found Orys in the yard having a friendly spar with Aegon. They hadn´t noticed me yet and I just stood there watching and feeling a bit like a creep.

Aegon is quite adequate with a sword for his age, while Orys is pretty good with all weapons, with the comical exception of the hammer. Aegon swung with all his might, and Orys held himself back so as not to hurt his sibling.

''Stay still !'' Aegon whined when he missed for what seemed like the twelfth time. Orys only laughed in response ''You won´t be laughing when I hit you !'' Aegon replied with his pride hurt. So Orys laughed even more and slowed down just enough that Aegon would clash swords with him instead of just whiffing. Aegon had a proud grin in his face and probably thought he had done a great achievement.

He hadn´t and Orys disarmed him in the blink on an eye , putting Aegon down on the ground with a face full of shock. Aegon had that goofy cartoon villain look of ''IMPOSSIBLE'' that made me laugh. Aegon is *quite* prideful for a child so losing in any way irks him.

Orys turned around at the sound of my laugh and smiled ''Daeron! Brother how I have missed you !'' Baratheon put me in a crushing bear hug that made me gasp for air , he´s just too strong for his own good, but mainly too strong for *my* good. Thankfully he noticed that he was committing murder and put me down with an apologetic expression and patted my head as his way of saying sorry. It took me some moments to recover and actually speak

''M..Miss you too Orys....'' I panted a tiny bit and then smiled at him ''I see you enjoyed putting Aegon down in the dirt.''

Aegon looked personally attacked at just a tiny teasing remark and managed to mutter ''Shut up brother...why don´t *you* try fighting Orys!''

''Because I am small'' I replied immediately and smugly. Being the little sibling comes with privileges!

''You think you´re being cute !?'' Aegon said a bit angry now.

I answered with even more smugness and self-satisfaction. I am a prick and I am not ashamed of it ''I´m adorable, brother.''

Orys thought it was the funniest thing ever while Aegon could only narrow his eyes in frustration before huffing ''Why are you like this ?'' I just shrugged in response, while Orys tried giving actual advice to Aegon. I then proceeded to watch them fight all day, Aegon is nothing if not dedicated, and handing him out some compliments here and there is a good way of making him feel nice.

...

I am going back to Driftmark after all this, now with a dragon.

Aerion is working on that little trip to Oldtown. I assume Aegon will think everything there is very nice and would be even better if he was in charge so uhm...there´s that. We will probably do it at the end of the year. Visenya will just end up being annoyed that she can (probably) beat up all the boys her age who will spout typical westerosi drivel about ladies and childbirth. Rhaenys will honestly be fine most likely, I am just going to try and enjoy myself and maybe cause unnecessary chaos for the fun of it. Nothing is better than unnecessary chaos.

Scratch that , there is one thing better then unnecessary chaos: Burning people. This Targ blood has got all my war criminal instincts flaring up and lord Daemon Velaryon´s eyes when he saw me come back with a dragon had the shape of a dollar sign.

''Sweet nephew'' he spoke ''I see you have claimed a dragon for yourself'' He looked at Shrykos´golden scales ''A very beautiful one, may I know the name ?''

''Shrykos, Uncle'' He ruffled my hair ''Very good nephew ...now, would you mind using this dragon ?''

''How so uncle ?''

''See..there are some...Pirates , yes only *pirates* that have been meddling with my trading ships and i think it would be very good for you to burn them all.'' You know, something tells me that he doesn´t want me to just burn down pirates, more like everyone that he doesn´t like. Also, asking an 8-year-old to commit mass murder in your name is certainly a Westeros moment

''Nuncle, are you sure that I should do it? Why not ask my father.'' Daemon sounded bitter now ''Your dear father is too busy with his Valyrian scrolls and prophecies to help your dear uncle. I had hoped that you would help me now that you have this magnificent mount...or are you scared? It´s fine to say so, you are only 8 years old.''

Damn. I am a very shallow person. Getting called a coward hurt my ego. ''I am *not* scared nuncle. I´ll do it for you''

He patted my back ''Good! now, come inside and i will have a bath and your favorite foods prepared... afterward, i will ask the smiths to make you some armor, there shouldn´t be any risk for you since you´ll be flying but i don´t want my nephew getting hurt.''

Well , my reasoning for burning people is: Cause fuck´em. That´s why.

Also, why are there so many Westerosi kids that are child soldiers? Dalton Greyjoy started at age 5, Ben Blackwood at age 11. At least i have the advantage of being a dragon rider, i just sit on top of Shrykos and cackle while people in tin suits get turned into chicken dinner.

Oh and, what was that about armor for an *8 year old* ?

Chapter Text

Geneva convention? I think you mean Geneva suggestion.

That is my new motto as of late. Uncle Daemon has had me burn down 'pirate' ships (Read anyone he does not like) in the narrow sea. It is cute how he tries to manipulate and gaslight me into not understanding what´s going on. To be fair, he has no way of knowing his 8-year-old nephew is actually an SI. I pretend not to be totally aware of the fact we are basically acting like thugs who burn down ships that either: Threatened his commercial interests, did not pay his ''protection'' tax, and sailed on waters claimed by house Velaryon without permission or just actual pirates. Every once in a while some Hoare asshole decides that sailing down the blue fork and into the Blackwater Bay is a great place for plunder. To be fair, they are right most of the time. *shrugs*

As to *why* I am totally cool with this well...because it´s honestly kinda fun to ride my dragon and say ''Dracarys'', quite relaxing in truth. Besides, since i am a Targaryen and a Valyrian, mass murder is a cultural tradition. It would be racist to stop me. Not only that, but I died and came back as an SI, who´s to say the people I kill won´t have a nice afterlife too? CHECKMATE ATHEISTS.

So in summary: For the shits and giggles. And there are a lot of shits and giggles.

Uncle Daemon made me dragon-riding armor! Perfect for a child soldier! (Seriously, there are far too many child soldiers in this world, Dalton Greyjoy started at age *5*) It looks pretty cool. It´s a black shirt of scales, greaves and gauntlets. He also gave me a little cape that I requested be colored red as a reference for the future. My father´s men think I look kinda cute and like to dote on me now. Reminds me of Caligula, whose name was actually Gaius. Caligula means ''little boots'' because his father was a Roman general named Germanicus who would take his son to the Roman camps and let him dress up with miniature legion armor. Thus ''little boots.''

Honestly, the fact that my father is so neglectful of his duties as a lord, preferring to spend his time with Valyrian scrolls and such, that his brother-in-law got desperate enough to use his 8-year-old nephew as a child soldier to defend his interests is truly something. What´s even more amusing is the fact Dragons are so overpowered that I could have the intelligence of an actual 8-year-old and be totally fine, all I have to do is stay up and TF2 Pyro these merchants and pirates that have no crossbows or scorpions to shoot me down.

Our glorious mode of operation is this: Uncle Daemon tells me that we have some ''pirates'' to raze and he knows exactly where they are right now, so he takes his fleet (doesn´t put his flag up, nothing says that we´re doing perfectly nice stuff like concealing your identity) I follow on Shrykos from extremely high up so the ''Pirates'' don´t see me and then rain hell on em. No survivors allowed, i burn all the ships and then Uncle Daemon and his men make sure to clean up for any survivors or people that play dead and such. He is quite thorough and is willing to search for up to an hour to make sure no one escapes. Ruthless stuff. Afterwards, we go back to Driftmark and I get some feasts or other rewards/prizes. Cool.

Case and point, right now.

I am as high as the clouds on Shrykos, feeling the wind blowing right on my face and hair. Below, i can see some galleys, cogs and carracks. Around 20 more or less. The sails are painted with the symbols of the house Rosby. The house of eternal losers. Name a single Rosby who ever succeeded at anything, I dare you.

From up here i can see they´re carrying a lot of nice stuff, wines, clothes, food, and sweet gold! Would be a terrible shame if someone were to take it all...well burn it all in my case but the argument stands!

My uncle´s own ships are mostly longships built for speed instead of fighting. 30 in number. The ''fighting'' part is up to me, they´re here to chase down the survivors or just loot anything that manages to survive Shrykos´fire. So not a lot. They were split into two detachments, one under the command of Daemon Velaryon who would do the ''looting'' and another under Ser Jacaerys, the same asshole that trains me, who would do the...'' wet work'' after I execute order 66

Oh boy, here I go killing again. I order Shrykos to start heading down. Those poor, poor merchants see me now and feel quite terrified that a golden ass lizard is coming down from the sky.

Remember

No Russian

''DRACARYS !'' I say as loudly as possible much to my war criminal Dragon´s glee. The fire comes out of her mouth immediately, the first trading ship to go up in flames. I see charred corpses as the mast and prow practically melt from my Shrykos´flames. Crispy.

I can hear some desperate screams of horror and fear. They had a few people hired to protect/escort the ship...but they were here prepared to face reavers and corsairs, not dragonfire. at best 15 of them wielded some crossbows whose bolts had no chance of penetrating Shrykos´golden scales. They would also need to have some sort of MW2 lobby Intervention 360 no scope-level luck to hit her eyes or even me. I was flying at very high speeds on top of just being a kid with the small little body of a child, so yeah, they ain´t hitting me.

I moved to the next ship, and then the next burning and razing them one by one . I even unsheathed the little sword...dagger thingy that I was given as part of my riding stuff pointed it upwards and screamed ''FIRE AND BLOOD BITCHASSES !'' Technically these aren´t the Targaryen house words yet. We don´t even have a *banner* yet. Aegon made them both during the conquest in an attempt to integrate with the rest of Westeros. Aerion and the previous lords of Dragonstone still saw themselves as Essosi and ''above these Westerosi barbarians''. Visenya still has that mentality, Aegon does not, while Rhaenys just doesn´t give a shit about either and follows what her siblings do. I guess I agree with Aegon on this.

The Velaryon ships moved in now, so I held my fire. Hurting your friends is never nice. Shrykos seemed frustrated about it, she was giddy while performing her war crime spree, so stopping must have felt like some form of personal attack. I petted her a bit so she could calm down ''Don´t worry sweet girl, I´ll let you eat the corpses. How´s that sound ?'' She purred like a fucking house cat. The WMD purred like a CAT. ''There there....who´s a cute girl? You are! Yes, you are !'' I petted her some more. Dragons are cute when you´re the rider.

Daemon´s men jumped from their own vessels to whatever remained of the burning ships for loot. Most of the stuff was lost but a precious few commodities did manage to survive my wrath. I also saw Ser Jacaerys hacking down at some poor merchants who had jumped to the sea and attempted to swim away, a couple used parts of the ship that had broken off to hold themselves. They were the first to die as being out in the open made them easy to spot.

Watching the scene unfold comfortably from the back of Shrykos I realized something.

Man

I am a very bad person.

Don´t care though.

It is also worth pointing out that since there will be no survivors and since neither Daemon, his men nor I are going to talk about this, absolutely nobody will know what happened. So as far as everyone in the continent knows, everyone that crosses Daemon Velaryon just never makes it back, i guess he´ll get the Tywin Lannister reputation three centuries early.

Also, my dad won´t find out either. He´s not someone who pays a lot of attention to ''governing'' or ''rumors''. Although Mother might and Visenya definitely will with her whole ''I use sorcery to watch you'' thing. But you know, that´s not *MY* problem. That´s going to fall on Daemon Velaryon for taking his 8-year-old nephew to a war zone. If/when this blows up right on Uncle´s face, I will be there to laugh as the world burns!

I let Shrykos land in the water. Baths are good for Dragons and she wanted a snack on the bodies. Uncle´s ship went near me.

''Uncle !'' i said cheerfully ''Did i do good !?'' Daemon chuckled ''That will teach these Mer...Pirates to not sail on our waters nephew! I am pleased with your performance, i can promise you the cooks will prepare your favorite foods when we get back to Driftmark.''

He squinted his eyes a bit ''Though i am not pleased with your vocabulary, where did you learn that word ? Bitch i believe it was ?'' I genuinely wanted to deadpan at this dude. Mass murder is fine, but swearing is too much? ''Uhm...I heard it from some sailors uncle.''

He sighed ''I will have these fools hold their tongues when near you then...'' He looked at the burning ships wearily ''Does something trouble you uncle ?''

''Yes'' He replied with a tired tone ''Volantis has resumed their attempted conquests in Essos...They have attacked Tyrosh, Pentos intervened and Lys has rebelled. Essos drowns in blood.''

I am supposed to be a child so uhh...''I didn´t understand a single word uncle, why is that a problem ?"'

He sighed ''Volantene control of the Stepstones is weak now, there are important trade routes that pass from the summer sea and i had half a mind to seize one or two of the islands ...Bloodstone perhaps ?''

Oh.

I Don´t think you can hide *this* from my dad if you end up taking me along.

Fuck, I´m in.

''Uhm... I don´t know what you want Uncle, but if it involves fighting then i want it !''

He had a small smile on his face ''What a warrior my sweet nephew is! ...Yet there should still be Volantene outposts there, they will be armed with scorpions and ballistas. Unlike the ....pirates... you face here... I would not want to risk your life ...but I suppose it could be done... '' He waved dismissively ''Don´t worry yourself Daeron , just let me make the decisions alright?''

''Of course uncle !'' i said with a happy smile. Shrykos burped.''But i do hope you don´t restrain yourself for my sake! I am a big boy and Shrykos will always protect me...''

War is fun when you´re not the one getting hit.

Chapter Text

My uncle took precisely a day of deliberation before deciding that war in the stepstones was the only way forward. Imperialism at its finest

Can´t blame him though. It is actually kind of sitting there, undefended. We are in the so-called ''century of blood'' , the 112 years that came after the doom of Valyria. Volantis considered itself the one true heir to Valyria and began aggressively expanding its borders. The other free cities said ''absolutely not'' to that and banded together to stop the Volantenes. Meanwhile, the Dothraki popped up from wherever the hell they were before and began their own aggressive expansion, destroying the kingdom of the Sarnori and settling in what became Vaes Dothrak.

These wars have a weird ''heat up'' and ''cool down'' stage. Where Volantis pushes, wins, and then pauses. During these ''cool down'' periods, they subdued the stepstones because of trading routes or something, I ain´t no merchant to understand these things in depth, my rudimentary comprehension is that, as the stepstones are in between the narrow sea and the summer sea. They are important trading outposts and also serve as pretty much a mandatory stop to anyone bringing commodities from that side of the world.

Right now the war in the east has heated up again, my uncle had told me that Volantis attacked Tyrosh, which led to Pentos jumping in because they felt threatened and Lys , who had been previously subjugated by the Volantenes, rebelled. But it was *so* much worse than that. Braavos joined the coalition against Volantis, the Dothraki, being the opportunists they are, have begun just attacking everyone at the same time and last I heard even the motherfucking Storm King Argillac (Yes *THAT* Argillac) was sailing to fight against Volantis. Who somehow managed to hold them all off at once. Militarily, the last news my uncle received was that the Volantene fleet was fighting the Bravoosi near Lys with so many dying that the sea was red with blood. Yikes.

This means that the garrisons in the stepstones are well...pretty empty, and considering the scale of this war, he doubts it´ll be over soon. Meaning that we can take some of the islands of the stepstones without any real intervention from Volantis proper. My dear uncle is a fucking crow. Even then he is a bit nervous because the Volantenes are actual gigachads that are simply fighting like the Doomguy, beating coalitions of 10 and 20 at once. Another thing he´s worried about is sweet sweet *me*. See, unlike the defenseless merchants that he had me cook alive, the Volantenes have scorpions and crossbows, know how to use them, and are *not* afraid of Dragons, so trying scare tactics won´t work.

Having me burn some merchants would probably vex my father if he found out, and having me fight in a war against a serious foe would probably infuriate him, but if I was killed because of my uncle well.... he would get to know how Balerion´s belly looks from the inside. Uncle Daemon is kinda counting on tremendous success and the fact he has kinship ties with Aerion to shield him from punishment when my dad inevitably finds out about this. That doesn´t seem like the ...wisest...choice but then again, my dad is chronically lazy when it comes to actually ruling. So if my uncle asks him for help in the stepstones he probably won´t receive it.

All this talk about war brought my mind to two things firstly, at just how *old* these westerosi kings are. Harren the black, Argillac Durrandon and the Yellow toad are all the same monarchs that Aegon will face some years in the future. The second thought is the conquest itself...i suppose Aegon will grant me lordship over one or two of the kingdoms, as long as it´s not the Iron Islands, the North or Dorne i am fine. Dorne is also something that plagues my sleep at night, i have the dreadful feeling that *I* am going to have to deal with Dorne... and that´s just no fun. Seriously Yellow Toad, I know you are absolutely insanely cool...but by the love of god just surrender. I am cooking up plans to deal with her. But there is one thing that has me curious.

Marriage. Think about it like this...i am kinda forced to marry Rhaenys, but what about Polygamy? will that be a satisfactory way of forming alliances? would it be a good idea ? and finally, would Rhaenys herself not murder me for it? The answer is probably it won´t work. But it *is* worth the shot I guess. *shrugs* Polygamy is significantly less disgusting than incest to me and I really am morally bankrupt considering i perform what is essentially a terrorist attack with my uncle on Blackwater Bay. There is also the slight issue of *the faith*. Having more than one wife before landing in Westeros isn´t exactly something the faith can do anything about...taking women to wife afterward is bad and cosplaying as Maegor ''the cool''. And I am not as cool as he was, (un)fortunately.

From the window of my chambers, I can see my uncle raising his warships, 47 in number. I don´t have Theon Greyjoy Syndrome and I know that warships have exactly one purpose: war. Sadly, the traders that come to Driftmark don´t have it either, so Uncle Daemon is keeping them here to stop them from babbling about it. Forcibly. How so very nice of him.

...
''That´s better'' Said Ser Jacaerys about my sword posture. ''You still need practice, but it is a start.'' I wiped the sweat off my brow. I am not really a talented swordsman if truth is to be told here, but i have *Dragon*. Cousin Aethan spends his time begging for me to give him a ride. I occasionally do so.''Thank you ser.'' I replied with a smile. I don´t really like this dude, ''Jacaerys'' is a mouthful of a name that just sounds wrong.

''Don´t go thinking because you have that shiny golden lizard you won´t need your sword arm anymore '' He said with a huff ''When assassins come after you , I´d like to see if your precious beast will save you. Don´t make it your crutch, boy. That said it is quite....useful for clearing up these pirates....'' He finished mockingly

''Of course, ser. If you say so'' I replied with utmost indifference. I am not Aegon or Visenya. Rhaenys and I have no interest in swinging swords about when we can fly and hit them from above.

''Nephew !'' Said my Uncle from behind me. I turned to look at him, he wore a fancy blue doublet. ''Sweet Nephew, how are you ?''

''I am well uncle " He got closer to me and ruffled my hair with affection. Despite using me like a child soldier he actually does care about his nephew , i am still his sister´s son.

''I hope you don´t mind if i fetch Daeron from his training Ser ?'' Jacaerys waved dismissively, not giving a single fuck about me. Ass.

''What is it you want from me , uncle ?''

''To talk with you a bit , boy.'' He said gently ''We will sail to the stepstones tomorrow when the sun rises. I just wanted to...tell you some...ground rules.'' He chuckled nervously.

''I will have some guards near you whenever you are not flying Shrykos. Do not stray from them , they are there to protect you from disgusting assassins who would attack you while you are not ready. Do not fly anywhere without warning me first and finally'' He held me a bit tightly and protectively. Awww ''Do not take any risks when fighting. AT ALL. Do not try and fly headfirst into scorpions , do not think that you are invincible simply because you are flying. If you cannot follow these rules , our whole campaign will have to be canceled. I cannot allow you to get killed, no matter what. Is that what you want ?''

''Of course, i don´t want that uncle !''

''Then follow my rules.''

Don´t tell me twice Uncle, i don´t want to follow my sister Rhaenys´ grindset with scorpions, neither hers nor Jace ''Velaryon´s'' I do not enjoy the idea of dying.
...

Just as he promised, at Sunrise the fleet began their sailing. I was high above flyin´ in the clouds!

It is quite fun to have a relaxing dragon ride before mass murder. The two best attributes of being a Targaryen.

This will be so much fun! I can imagine myself like Freeza cackling as Planet Vegeta is destroyed, MONKEY and NICE FIREWORKS HAHAHAAHHAHHAAHAHAHAH

Anyway, I think I need to sing something to myself until we actually get to the stepstones, i am high in the sky, ain´t no one but myself here, and no one can judge or listen to my music tastes!

*AHEM*

''Jump up loud for Flumpty´s jam...''

Chapter Text

You know. There´s a song that´s really fitting considering what i am about to do. It´s by a Swedish metal band called ''Sabaton'' the song is called ''Into the Fire.'' It´s about the use of Napalm in Vietnam. And the more I think about it, the more Dragonfire just seems like a magical Napalm that comes out of living beasts that act as helicopters. I was always a big metal fan in my first life, not to be edgy or different or anything. I just like guitars.

Uncle Daemon was about to start a war with a surprise attack on a foreign power that had done absolutely nothing to offend us for no reason besides greed. That´s about as imperialistic as it gets. And I'm here for it, Rule Driftmark (Britannia).

We had set sail almost a turn of the moon ago. Our forces, around 5 to 7.000 soldiers, around a third of those were veterans from combat against Ironborn raiders , these men were commanded by Ser Jacaerys. The other two-thirds were the average peasant levy whose combat technique could be summed up with ''stick`em with the pointy end''. Admirably simple. Our fleet was 47 warships strong, thick vessels with iron Rams and an enormous mast , built for battles instead of the much smaller longships that were built for speed and raiding. My uncle commanded the pride of the fleet, a Ship named ''Sea Song''. We had intentionally sailed far from the coast in order to avoid being spotted, there was a certain risk in getting lost or scattered by storms. But my uncle was a wise sailor who could accurately pinpoint his location from the stars. Every once in a while i would also fly Shrykos and try to find some banner that could allow us to confirm that he was right. Uncle Daemon was always right.

We would make landfall on the largest of the islands, and the one used by the Volantenes as a form of ''capital'' for the province of the Stepstones. An island called Bloodstone. We did not have the manpower to individually conquer each island one by one, not even a dragon can hold land, but Uncle Daemon was a shrewd man. The stepstones are thinly populated and mostly used as trading outposts ... or pirate dens. The Volantines cracked down on piracy , Uncle Daemon figured that since the Volantene fleet was busy fighting far away in Lys and the Stepstones would be under our assaults, the pirates would seize the chance and return, attacking the Volantines in an attempt to reclaim their dens. From there, he would negotiate. Daemon had no problem negotiating with the pirates if they were to prove reasonable ... yet these Volantine governors, seeing that the city of Volantis was unable to protect them, might consider submitting and putting themselves under his protection. Fair game I guess.

The weather had been absolutely splendid, fair winds and no storms. Maybe I should convert to the drowned god as a form of saying ''Thank you'' or i could also go full on Euron Greyjoy ''God is me'' and search out magical power and stuff... nah, maybe not.

When we were only a couple hours distance, Ser Jacaerys had the Fleet sail in a horizontal formation, to spread us out. The reasoning is simple, the more clustered our troops are, the easier it is for the enemy to shoot at us. He also ordered complete silence. No men were allowed to speak until we were already spotted, in order to preserve the element of surprise for as long as possible. We were attacking deep at night and for once my Dragon being a shining golden color was *not* ideal. But i will kill anyone who says a word about it , my dragon is beautiful and i will not tolerate slander.

We approached the coast now. Complete silence beside the sound of the waves and the soft noise of our muffled oars. The shore of Bloodstone was an ugly ill ill-made thing, rocky and salty with the sea having a weird gray color instead of being blue. We saw the enemy fortifications as well. A tall outer wall made of stone and an enormous watchtower made of the same material. Behind the walls was a small little town that had been raised . I could see some candlelights from far away.

I was about to light up a bigger candle, to say the least.

Alright.

Breathe in

Breathe out

It´s Murderin´ time.

I flew right at the sight of the guards of the walls , who rightfully shat their pants for a moment before recomposing themselves and sounding the horns. These Volantene soldiers were well-trained and well-armed. A third of them used bows, crossbows, and Scorpions so uhm...let me channel my inner Dbz abridged Piccolo and ''DODGE''.

''DRAGON! DRAGON! WE ARE UNDER ATTACK !'' Yelled a guardsman before lifting up his crossbow. That was the last thing the poor unlucky idiot ever did.

''DRACARYS !'' I yelled back, Shrykos set forth her golden flame and incinerated the guy until not even his bones remained. I´d say chicken dinner most of the time, but this is a bit too overcooked for my tastes.

Bolts and arrows flew at me. Most were so far off target i had to snort. But a precious few even managed to mess up my hair with their wind. That made me laugh a little less...for about 5 seconds.

''DRACARYS! DRACARYS! '' I yelled again with more excitement this time, the garrison threw and threw arrows and bolts and even some gigachad threw a rock at me that came absurdly close to smashing my forehead. But it was all for naught. There were many charred bodies that continued to burn even after the person was dead. Some very nice fireworks if I do say so myself.

Uncle Daemon´s plan worked like a charm. While the garrison was busy trying (and failing) to shoot me down from the sky, the land army was having their own little D-day-type thing. With the warships dragging themselves ashore using the momentum of the previous hours of sailing and rowing. The soldiers leaped out of the boats in one singular swift motion and ran in the direction of the walls. They carried ladders and grappling hooks. Some of the Volantenes realized this and began to fire at the troops...to which i responded with more dragonfire. I am a bit needy and in need of attention fellas, all eyes on me. Especially these guys who picked out some pots with boiling oil, you guys especially *EYES ON ME*. I could have melted the iron gates, but that would actually have been pretty dumb. This is a surprise attack based on speed , melting the gates doesn´t make the iron go away, it just turns it into a disgusting metallic blob that falls on the ground and liquefies any moron who touches it. In a siege it would be fine, we would just wait for the thing to cool down. On a quick attack not so much

I flew up higher now and into the little town that was behind the walls. i did not even need to say the word as Shrykos began the burning on her own initiative. While the walls were made of stone, the houses and inns and little stores had roofs made of wood. And wood spreads my fires. In a little over ten minutes the whole thing was aflame , lighting up the sky and filling it with the smell of ash and smoke.

I couldn´t help but shed a tear with pride, my eyes glinted with satisfaction.

I am not deranged, unhinged, mad, or a pyromaniac. Why did you ask?

I kinda understand how Frieza feels now, to be honest. This honestly does kinda look sick and does fuel my ego as a powerful person.

I smiled at the sight of Uncle Daemon´s troops breaching the walls. The battle was won! Most of the Volantines were retreating into the stone tower. I´m gonna stop´em just give me a moment to stretch a bit, you guys have no idea how much it strains your back to sit on a dragon for 12 hours straight, nor how tiring it is.

SON OF A BITCH !!!!

I GOT HIT BY A FUCKING ARROW IN MY SHOULDER!

THIS SHIT FUCKING HURTS!

I looked down to see , WHO , just *WHO* had had the *nerve* , the *gall* the *audacity* to hurt ME! I saw the cretin looking at me with a bow in his hand. SMIRKING. SMIRKING RIGHT AT ME ! He was tan, he wore fine armor, he had expensive armor and helmet and he had the pin of a tiger. The commander most likely. I gritted my teeth and had Shrykos fire some flames at him , but the bastard was clever and managed to get away, scurrying off to somewhere I hadn´t seen.

Oh dear god I am getting dizzy... just uhm...give me a moment here to.., recompose myself...*pukes* ok...not getting better...i gripped my reins in fear of falling...i am uhm..losing a sizable amount of blood...The arrow went through my dragon riding armor as if it were butter and uhm...it´s gone pretty deep...shit...i uhm.. i did enough right? the battle is won and all that...i think i am peacing out and landing somewhere safe...Already had my fun anyway... And like previously stated war is fun. When you´re not the one getting hit.

...

No jokes. I am not in a good fucking mood.

That shitty arrow wound infected and I spent two days bedridden and sweating with a fever. The maester that Uncle Daemon brought tended to me day and night. The possibility of my death was not something that Velaryon wanted to even think about. Firstly because I do believe he likes keeping his head. Second, because i am his nephew.

''Nephew'' He came over to speak with me ''How are you feeling? Are you well''

''I am mostly well uncle'' I replied while still lazily lying down in a feather bed, covered by a fur blanket.''My shoulder feels a bit...stiff and sore. But i am assured it will heal.''

''Good'' He said , visibly relaxing ''That is very good.''

''May I ask you a question uncle ?''

''Of course'' he answered cheerfully ''I am indebted to you dear nephew. This victory was your doing, the men cheer their drinks with your name. A question is the least i can do for you.''

''The man who shot me.. he had a tiger pin , he was tan and he wore some expensive stuff...Have you anyone who matches that description ?'' i said with no effort to contain my hatred.

Daemon smirked ''That man is Commander Lysander. We have him in chains ... what is it you want with him?''

''I want him dead.'' i replied with vicious satisfaction. Yeah... i am not a very forgive-and-forget guy , even if the dude was absolutely 110 percent justified in shooting me.I *am* the aggressor here after all

Uncle Daemon shrugged ''You might just get your wish. The rest of the Garrison has holed up in that infernal stone tower. We could storm it...but we would take heavy casualties. I will starve it instead..but first, I will use their commander to try and get them to yield...if not, then he will die.''

''Oh , Shrykos and i would just *love* to see that.''

Uncle Daemon seemed worried ''Nephew...are you sure? killing a man from up close is not the same as with a dragon and...can you walk with your injury ?''

''I will make due'' I replied drily. Yeah, i am dropping the little kid act completely. I AM FUCKING LIVID.

...

The tower that the garrison had holed up was tall and made entirely of stone. Shrykos was not a small dragon, not even close to that. She is around the size of Meraxes, which automatically makes her bigger than essentially every dragon in the dance. But she is also not Balerion. So melting this tower as if it were Harrenhal simply isn´t an option. There is a singular wooden door that i could easily melt, hell, there´s no need to melt it, the soldiers can just kick it down. The problem comes in the fact that this tower has this circular stairway as the only way up. Something like that is *extremely* defensible. And dragons can´t exactly fit inside it.

Luckily, I can see that the tower does have a few ''openings'' that serve both as windows and as ways for air to come in, so I am not worried about how to deal with it, i already know what I´m gonna do. This tower is supposed to be where the garrison sleeps, so it´s full of weapons and food inside. Just great.

There would be a brief ''Parley'' where Uncle Daemon would basically say ''yield and live , resist and we kill your commander right here and right now.''

I stood right behind my uncle, surrounded by a great quantity of guards to protect me. I couldn´t move very well and had my shoulder bandaged. Shrykos was also here , nice. I love my dragon

Uncle brought Lysander in chains and gagged.

''Your fortress is taken !'' He yelled ''There is no sense in fighting for a lost cause. Surrendering is not shameful'' he added softly.

Nothing came from out the tower besides the voice of who was likely the second in command who took control of the rest of the garrison with Lysander´s capture.

''We fight for the true heir of Valyria! You are a coward Velaryon, you should have joined Volantis, not fought against it. You cowardly crow who only dared to strike when our backs were turned with that Golden beast !''

Daemon´s expression hardened ''There is no use in insulting me. The fortress is mine, this tower will soon be mine and the stepstones will follow suit. I have your commander.''

''You have him gagged because Lysander would tell us to keep fighting if he could! CRAVEN !''

''Is that your answer then ?'' Asked Daemon

Silence.

Uncle shrugged ''So be it. Execute the prisoner.''

''UNCLE , WAIT A SECOND'' I yelled ''Might i have a word ?.''

Daemon shrugged a second time. Uncaring.

''Dracarys.''

Lysander was burned to a crisp by Shrykos immediately. Daemon and the people around me jumped out the way in horror.

''Since i am a very devout follower of the seven'' i said through gritted teeth '' I will offer them this sacrifce...''

*chomp*

''A bite for the father.''

*chomp*

''A bite for the mother,''

*crunch, crunch*

''Two for the crone and the smith''

*crunch, crunch*

''Two more, one for the warrior and another for the maiden.''

Shrykos spat out Lysander´s leg

''And *that* is for the stranger.''

To say shock and horror were the reaction of the people near me, would be an understatement.

''Well...'' Uncle Daemon said sweating ''That is a better way of conveying a message than simply hanging...''

Alright, back to a happy fun time. My temper is calmed by getting revenge
...

Dealing with the people at the tower was actually easy work. And something I did after a week or so

I am still a child, technically. Uncle Daemon will not take my words about war strategy seriously, neither would Ser Jacaerys. But what i proposed myself to do was not hard either.

I am quite beloved at camp and it warms my heart. to see that. I just had to ask the soldiers to do me a couple of favors, they were all bored out of their minds and thought it was a nice idea. Besides i am kinda cute when i want to be.

I essentially asked them to fetch a good amount of wood,

I used a small part of it to board the door to the tower. Making it so the people inside could not escape.

The rest i put in a bunch of piles all around the tower and then had Shrykos set them aflame. The smoke went to the skies and right into those little openings of the tower and... yeah.

Choke on *that*.

When it comes to war , i do *NOT* pull punches.

Chapter Text

''You say he had them *suffocate* to death ?'' My uncle asked Ser Jacaerys with a flabbergasted look. When He was met with a nod he said ''What is wrong with this child ?''

Hold on

This whole operation was your idea, to begin with!

''Wrong ?'' Asked Jacaerys ''I´d say what´s right? The lad handed us over the tower without losing a single man. He´s deserving a treat or whatever it is that you give to children.''

Uncle Daemon shook his head ''I don´t deny that what he did was most useful...'' My uncle said carefully ''What is concerning is that my 8-year-old nephew had in him enough cunning and active malice to board the doors of a tower and choke the soldiers inside, It´s one thing to just sit atop a Dragon and say Dracarys but this ....This, Whe...Where did he even get that idea ?!''

I activated my trap card. Being a little kid. That means I can look kind of cute whenever it suits me, and escape both complicated questions alongside any form of accountability. Who doesn´t like avoiding accountability? I know all the politicians love it.

''Is something wrong with me ?"' I asked teary-eyed. My uncle´s expression changed from confusion to concern, he ruffled my hair and put a hand on my cheek affectionately ''No no, of course not sweet boy... there is nothing wrong with you...I misspoke, apologies my boy...but you must admit that your behavior is quite...eccentric...it is unusual for children your age to have this type of...thought...''

Sorry to break it to you uncle, but my brain doesn´t exactly think. It has a rational part that tells me things like ''Targcest is necessary to keep the dragons in the family'', ''Risking your life at 8 years old with no discernible reward is stupid'' or the classic ''What you are doing is morally reprehensible''

but there´s another part that just says ''Haha, Fire go brrrr''

You know which part always wins in the end.

''I got it from some soldiers at camp nuncle.''

''That makes more sense'' I heard him mutter. It is still pretty absurd if you think about it. But try telling Daemon Velaryon that his 8-year-old nephew is some 17-year-old shmuck named Mike that died by tripping down some stairs. Truth is always crazier than fiction as they say.

In fact, if you ponder about it long enough, being an SI is just following the Drowned god´s creed. You die, but not really, then you come back as a powerful person in Westeros, so harder and stronger. That also boosts my self-confidence, i am literally living a second life, i have died and come back. In other words...

IM FUCKING INVINCIBLE

''My lord'' Said Ser Jacaerys Waters in a dry tone ''Can we discuss the important matters now? That Lyseni pirate you wished to barter with, Lysandro Saan, he is to arrive in a fortnight''

''Yes'' My uncle said ''We shall. Go along dear nephew.''

I did leave, a little miffed. I like talking about pirates. They´re cool when they´re not robbing *me* or my family.

It´s also very important at the moment, my uncle´s attack on the Volantene outposts has made these fuckers appear from every nook and cranny they could have possibly been hiding in. There are like 16 pirate kings that call themselves kings of the stepstones and the narrow seas. This Lysandro Saan is one of them and my uncle is hoping to speak and *hopefully* make some form of compact with him. The fact that the guy is named Saan and Lyseni is an indication he´s related to that pirate that Davos brings over to help Stannis in the war of the five kings. Cool, I suppose.

Being a little kid means I don´t get to listen to the strategy meetings or anything cool and important like that, no, Uncle Daemon just tells me who I need to burn. To be fair, that is all i want to hear anyway. But I do get to listen to the soldiers gossiping, and what they have to say about this Lysandro is not exactly encouraging. Apparently, this motherfucker speaks about himself in the third person, like... what?

Sadly, my little shoulder is so sore that I can´t fly. Utterly tragic. How am i supposed to live without that sick smell of smoke and ash? completely impossible, Targ blood gives you an unhealthy necessity for war crime Olympics. And i don´t like losing, ever. I am also a bit disappointed with my skills in burning this city to the ground. Plenty of buildings escaped my wrath, including the one Uncle Daemon has taken as his headquarters of sorts. This manse of some fat slaver that I somehow missed when I was lighting this place up.

At least I got a nice bed and a comfy room. That´s always good. Especially because, since I can´t fly for a bit because of that despicable arrow wound, I have to enter hibernation and sleep like 13 hours a day. There´s just nothing good here in the Stepstones man, calling this place a rock wouldn´t even be an insult, it is just genuinely a big fucking rock that happens to be in a strategic place. There´s no agriculture here, there´s nothing to mine, there are no commodities or anything of the sort. Just rocks, pirates and some small coastal towns that are filled to the brim with Brothels and STDs. Like, what is an 8-year-old to do here besides ride his WMD?

Is this how the Iron islands are like? Because I can understand the Ironborn sucking so hard if they have to live in this type of garbage. I´d want to make people miserable alongside me as well.

War-wise, there is some news. While my uncle has not moved an inch out of Bloodstone these past weeks because of the fact he´s down a dragon rider, the pirates have as previously mentioned, but even the Dornish want in on the fun. Literally, everyone in reach is just gangbanging the stepstones. I´m sure this will be a problem and I do *not* want to be on the bad side of Meria Martell the Yellow Toad. She´s a genuine baddass and just said ''no'' to Balerion and Vhagar with an added ''Fuck you'' to Rhaenys and Meraxes. Hopefully, she won´t do that to my sister on this timeline. I would hate to see Rhaenys dead.

Speaking of Rhaenys , i am quite curious about her reaction to my little war crime operation here in the Stepstones. My other siblings are a bit more...predictable, while my parents will probably explode with anger, though not at me, but at Uncle Daemon. Can´t say i feel bad for the guy , he did just kinda start a war for no reason besides wanting to and greed. In fact, as much as i like the people around here, i won´t exactly feel bad if they bite it. Everyone around this camp is awful, except the poor peasants that just happened to get dragged here because of feudalism. They deserve sympathy. Everyone else, me included, ? FUCK NO AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH

So to recap this absolute insanity of a conflict, We have : The Velaryons who attacked the Volantene controlled Stepstones. Dorne who decided to join in too , the pirate kings who have been making a mess of things, Volantis in the east is fighting Tyrosh ,Lys , Pentos and Braavos , while the Dothraki are also just attacking everyone they can at the same time

In other words

Your average EU4 coalition when Aggressive expansion get´s too high.

Chapter Text

I changed my mind. Pirate Kings are *not* cool.

My uncle had tried to make any form of agreement with the Volantenes that remained here in the Stepstones. It probably would have been smart of them to have done it, considering that these islands are getting the Tysha treatment from everyone around and that Volantis proper is fighting half of Essos. But they didn´t, unfortunately. So my dearest Uncle decided to try his luck with the many, *many*, Pirate Kings that popped up. Only one of them had enough grey matter to consider it, a Lyseni freak named Lysandro Saan. Daemon Velaryon''plan'' is pretty much to hand control of the Stepstones to this guy and in exchange he´d give a bunch of trade concessions and not attack Velaryon ships and blah blah blah, I DO NOT COUNT COPPERS!

You might ask yourself, why not just *take* the Islands? Well, because of the fact they´re completely worthless outside of the fact they´re in a convenient spot for commerce, and they are hard to hold for long periods of time. If this random pirate is willing to do the hard and costly job of holding them, while also giving access to the trade money that Daemon actually wanted, why not just give it to him? Installing friendly regimes in places is hardly a new practice. I mean, if you need a regime change, just tell the USA there´s oil in your territory, and that you´re not willing to sell it. You will be democratically liberated in a heartbeat.

So this pirate guy, he has 60 hips in his pirate fleet. That is not as big as it might seem, since these ships are mostly stolen cogs, carracks, and some Longships, much smaller than my uncle´s Warships. But it is still a ridiculous amount for a pirate, he could probably rival the fleet of some small Essosi city-states with these numbers. Yikes.

So, I naturally built up an image of this guy. I didn´t expect much, but man, I was disappointed. Though at least the rumors that this dude spoke in the third person were false, he is just very prideful. I swear to god if he started each sentence with his own name instead of saying ''I'', he´d get to know Shrykos from the inside because I am not tolerating that level of cringe near me.

He and his pirate fleet landed here in Bloodstone today. The pirates that crewed his ships came from all corners of the world, though most seemed either summer islander or Lyseni, I could spot a few Ghiscari, an Ironborn or two, and even a guy from Ibben. Pretty cool to be honest. It reminds me that Planetos is genuinely immense, not just Westeros, the free cities, and Slaver´s Bay as the main book series would have you believe.

My uncle, Ser Jacaerys, and I were watching these pirates slowly disembark. The fact i am included in the official greeting is quite hilarious, to be honest. Any sane person would not allow a child near a slave-trading pirate. Because, oh yeah, he´s an Essosi pirate. Of course, he dabbles in the slave trade. Fucking degenerate.

But that is the one thing I can give to my Uncle Daemon. He is completely anti-Slavery and has set all the slaves that the Volantenes kept here free. He has not forced them to labor for him afterward, though most choose to do so, and they all get paid for their work. So yeah, my uncle has done one good thing with his invasion. One of his conditions to MR Lysandro here is no more slave trading. That´s genuinely a good deed, Nice Job Daemon Velaryon, you could have sucked harder as a person.

Said freed slaves looked at the pirate fleet with hatred, they´d probably been brought here in the first place by ships like these and i do think that is a reasonable justification for grudge-holding. Very reasonable

When Saan finally did come out of the ship, my disappointment was immeasurable and my day was ruined. He wore a turban and some fine Essosi clothes, my guy looked more like a merchant than a pirate. He was slim, tan and old-looking. Not really muscled, he was also the smiley type. What did not disappoint me was the fact this dude had an actual pipe for smoking. It´s a rarity here in Planetos, only the summer islanders seem to have it for some reason. Still, when I imagine pirates, I´d imagine someone like Euron, Victarion, or maybe even Dalton Red Kraken. Not...this guy... this guy is Captain Crack Sparrow without the charm.

It took him exactly 5 minutes of walking to finally get near us and actually begin speaking. ''Lord Velaryon.''

''Saan.'' My uncle replied drily. The pirate pointed at the pipe he had ''You should try this Lord Velaryon , i cam guarantee it will make you feel things you never even imagined were possible.''

''I appreciate the offer, however, I would prefer if we could cut the pleasantries.''

The pirate laughed ''You Westerosi are always in such a hurry. Well , he who hurries through life hurries to his grave...'' He turned to look at little *me* ''And you little boy, who would you be ?''

''Daeron, of the House Targaryen. Rider of the Dragon Shrykos.'' I tried to sound intimidating because well...i didn´t want this guy near me but, alas, an 8-year-old cannot sound very scary now, can he?

The pirate chuckled a bit ''So many titles for a boy so small.'' He smoked the pipe a bit ''Would *you* like some of this ?''

Wait a minute...

this smell...

I know what it is...

This motherfucker´s a Stoner.

What has my life become? Being turned into an SI for a character that isn´t even supposed to exist was weird, being a war crime enthusiast with a fantasy B-52 Bomber was even weirder, but now I am a child soldier getting offered weed by a fucking Pirate king.

Can we get much higher?

''No,'' I replied as curtly as possible. My mother might have raised a freak, but not a Stoner. Lysandro Saan put his hand on my shoulder ''Are you sure boy? I promise it´s wonderful.''

''Do not touch my nephew'' Uncle Daemon hissed. Thank you, uncle, thank you so much. Lysandro Saan thankfully backed off. ''Don´t worry for your nephew near Lysandro Saan. I can promise you that he will not be sold to the Brothels in Lys , Slavery will no longer have a place in the Stepstones under the rule of Lysandro Saan.'' The guy squinted his eyes and muttered ''Though he would have fetched a good price...''

JESUS CHRIST.

''Let us speak in my Solar.'' My uncle said sweating ''I will be sure to provide you with accomodations.''

Ser Jacaerys stepped forward ''Follow me and I will take you to them'' He said drily. The pirate king shrugged and followed after him.

''Uncle.''

''Nephew.''

''He touched me in the shoulder.''

''Yes.''

''I need a bath.''

''Yes.''

...
My shoulder is finally good enough for riding, and Uncle Daemon alongside Captain Cannabis have finally decided to attack another of the Stepstone islands, so I get to use some more fantasy napalm on (mostly) Helpless soldiers. Noice. Shrykos is already making giddy dragon noises and i haven´t even gotten started.

The island we are about to attack is called ''Torturers deep.'' Which brings up a levy of questions, the most important of these being ''What the fuck happened here for a place to be named after torturers? I am quite...concerned to be honest, maybe a proto-Ramsay Bolton lived here? Or Valyrian blood experiment shenanigans ? Either way , knowing GRRM, it is probably something extremely disturbing that somehow involves copious amounts of violence, Rape and Incest all at once. Because that´s just how his writing works when you think about it hard enough.

This island could be a slightly tougher nut to crack. It´s full of rocky hills , caves, and narrow passageways for guerrilla fighting as the Crabfeeder did to Daemon. But the troops here are, thankfully, commanded by a Moron named Nyessos Vhassar. Coming from one of those long noble lineages, this guy got all their pride, but none of their wit. That´s on top of just generally being a 19-year-old trying to kickstart a political career by being a glory hound.

Case and point: Instead of taking all the supplies and abandoning the keep, this dude decided to stay holed up there. Well, that´s not entirely true, he also sent some soldiers to ''Ambush'' Uncle Daemon´s army by hitting them from above.

Normally, this would be a great idea, It´s much easier for his troops to hit ours from above than ours to hit his from below. And there aren´t really many other safe paths here in Torturer´s deep that can´t be exploited like this.

Unfortunately for him, these are not normal circumstances. I have a Dragon. I can fly and hit his extremely exposed troops who really should have known better and just mutinied.

Whelp.

War crime blast

Shrykos Lit them up real quick, at this point I feel that I have just gotten used to the smell of burned bodies, but that does not mean i have gotten tired of it. the smell does genuinely remind me of Barbeque, and I want MOAR.

I am perfectly stable.

Our march through the island and to the castle only took two days, we suffered some small night raids, but the Pirates of Lysandro Saan were ready for it. Probably because Pirates should know how raiding works and are expecting it, I cannot complain about it, worked like a fucking charm!

Most of the Volantene raiders were killed in the fighting or the chase that came afterward, a very smell amount was captured...and subsequently used as target practice by the Pirates of Lysandro Saan after being tied up. The pirates must have had some form of Aim bot , because they rarely missed and they always aimed at the dick.

Oof. Not the dick, that´s a low move bro, literally.

...

''Holy moly, that´s a lot of scorpions''

Those were my first thoughts when I saw the Volantene Stronghold. Our Army had encamped at the top of a hill at the distance of about a 20 minute horse ride from it. Uncle Daemon gave us all Myrish lenses to look at the thing from far away. Except for me, I had to share with Captain Crack.

It had 4 tall stone walls, on top of those walls were well, a shit ton of scorpions. I can see that Uncle Daemon is feeling a bit nervous at the prospect at throwing me at this thing because well...Dragons are quite tough, but uhm, hit the Wing membranes or the eyes and they´ll die. But then again , the strengh of Dragons is so inconsistent i don´t even know if Shrykos would be bothered by it at all. Caraxes was able to completely ignore Scorpion Bolts, but Vermax was killed by arrows. Syrax got axed by a peasant? I know that they are differently-sized Dragons, but I find it absurd that an adult Dragon like Syrax could get killed by a fucking Axe.

Either way, I don´t care. By putting all these scorpions there this man is just challenging me. Challenging *me*. Well, here´s a tip: When you come at the champ, expect to lose. There is no way I will allow that type of provocation to without an answer, instead of running away in fear or feeling despair like a student at the last minute of a test, I will instead approach him. Because I ain´t no bitch and i don´t take shit unless I am forced to.

''That will be tough to assault my lord.'' Said Ser Jacaerys ''The walls are thick and Strong, we should repeat what we did at Bloodstone , let them keep their eyes on the Lad´s dragon while we climb the walls.''

My uncle sighed ''Could we not start a siege ?'' Lysandro Saan laughed .''There is no need for a siege, or for an assault friends....why, we will simply have them open the gates for us.''

My uncle looked confused and Jacaerys unamused ''Explain'' The knight asked ''Explain now.''

''The Volantenes must have hundreds of Slaves in that little castle. And we will...generously...abolish Slavery here in the Stepstones will we not? Perhaps if some brave soul were to go and say such things to the Slaves, promise them freedom and revenge against their masters...why, I am sure that they would love nothing more then to open these gates and let us in.''

''Aye'' Jacaerys conceded ''But we can hardly get inside the castle can we ?''

Lysandro Saan smoked his fucking weed with a smug expression before replying. What the fuck is my life? ''Perhaps not you Westerosi. Oh, your kind is so loud and blustering...but many of my crew were once Smugglers and Thieves in the Free Cities before, there are no walls that can keep them out whenever gold is involved...and besides, if it fails, so what? We lose 5 or so men and the enemy gains nothing.''

My uncle thought about it for a bit...''I give you leave. Do as you see fit.''

...

To say it worked would be an understatement. Lysandro Saan had some men get inside the Slave quarters and break the chains of a few , the Slaves whose chains had been broken would then go on and break the bindings for his pals and yeah...in half an hour the Garrison had suffered forms of Violence i didn´t even know were possible, i saw some shit that´s gonna haunt my mind forever. There was a guard with his balls cut off and stuffed inside his mouth. EWWWWW

But that´s not what matters. No, it´s not.

What matters is what happened when we captured the Garrison commander , that 19 year old glory hound.

Oh the Slaves wanted him torn apart but my uncle wanted him alive. His family was important in Volantis and well...hostages are good.

When he was brought to us in chains i saw that he had a sheated sword with the pommel in the shape of a tiger. At first i was just annoyed , i don´t find Tigers particularly interesting or cool. And the fact all the Volantenes use it as a symbol because of the dominance of the militaristic Tiger party in their politics.

But then i noticed a little detail : It was Valyrian Steel.

I was a huge DBZ fan in my first life , which means i watched the abridged Version , so my mind was screaming like Vegeta :

MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE

So i yoinked it.

Uncle Daemon was breathless when he saw it and tried to commit his own form of theft. He used a bajillion arguments, ranging from ''You are my ward and thus you cannot claim these things without my permission'', ''House Targaryen already has two Valyrian Steel swords, House Velaryon has none. Do you dear uncle a favor and let him keep it'' and finally ''I AM BEGGING ON MY KNEES GIVE IT TO ME''

Lysandro Saan as well tried to convince me to give it back , promising me ''a dose of the good stuff'' if i just handed him over the sword.

I said no.

When they grew insistent , Shrykos shut them up.

It´s actually kinda useless for me to have it , i am a mediocre swordsman at best and don´t plan on getting much better anytime soon. But a Valyrian Steel sword iss just something too cool to pass up . I´ll have to obviously have someone melt it down and reforge it with all Dragon-themed stuff because fuck tigers, and then give it a new name!

Man, i do suck with names. I´ll think of something later.

Chapter Text

Fun fact: I am a moron.

I found out that sword pommels and grips can, in fact, be removed. That melting down Valyrian steel requires a certain level of skill that no one in these shitty Syphilis-infested islands has, and that walking around with a big sharp stick on my waist is actually kinda fun.

Asking for help tampering with the sword had been a ...hassle. It is quite awkward to ask for these types of things when you are 8 years old. And having the smith explain to your face, with the kindest words possible of course, that you possess the intelligence of Balon Greyjoy is soul-crushing. My brain is so smooth it is aerodynamic.

So I just had him put this dragon head on the pommel. That and a big red ruby. You might ask me ''How did you even find a ruby'' The answer is: I paid the Iron Price for it (Theft).

I struggled with the name for a brief amount of time. Cheekiness like just naming it ''Excalibur'' because I was a King Arthur main in Smite, or ''Goldfyre'' to Kinda copy Blackfyre being named after Balerion´s color since Shrykos is golden. Other possible namings popped up, like ''Bacon.''... Don´t judge me. You gotta treat your sword like you treat a car, call it by things you like. And i like that Bacon in the morning.....*Salivates*

In the end, I named it Dragonclaw. You can ask yourself ''Why ?'' But then the answer is very simple.

It was revealed to me in a dream.

I did some slashes with the sword here and there. Although Dragonclaw is a *big* Valyrian Steel sword, and I am a *small* little child, Valyrian Steel is extremely light and i can wield it without difficulty... Unfortunately, I got bored quickly. Look, there´s not a lot to do with the sword for now except hack at trees with it, and that´s not a lot of fun now is it? Despite what anime will tell you, simply ''Training yourself YOLO'' isn´t a thing really. You need actual proper guidance and directioning, otherwise, all you´re doing is just internalizing all the mistakes and shitty habits you have, and putting them into muscle memory. Normally the asshole Ser Jacaerys would train me , but we are in the middle of a *war* and he´s got better things to do.

So i mostly just walk around with this big sharp stick on my hip to make myself look cool. You can judge me, but let´s be real, you would do the same in my position. Who wouldn´t? Swords are a part of the medieval drip kit. That and the Capes. I do like some capes, makes me think I´m Batman or Thor. I don´t actually want to associate myself with the freak who dresses himself as a bat and has a hard-on for women in tight leather suits while simultaneously profiting off Child labor. I am already associated to my Uncle who covers the Child labor part, thank you very much.

Speaking of Daemon Velaryon, he has holed himself up in ''his'' Solar. (That is actually someone else´s and he just waltzed in and took it) and made the oppressive decision of Summoning me right when I wanted a little Nap. I am a child and require 13 hours of sleep to ensure I have enough energy to fuck shit up when i am awake. By limiting my sleeping time, he is limiting my destructive potential.

ABSOLUTELY UNNACEPTABLE!

...

Daemon Velaryon was sitting in his solar wearing a blue doublet with the Velaryon seahorse on it. The fact that the Velaryons have a banner but not my house is honestly a sign of just how detached from the world we Targaryens can be.

''Nephew'' He said cheerfully ''I am so pleased to see you.''

''Hello nuncle'' I replied a bit worried. Uncle Daemon is only ever happy or cheerful when he gets his way , generally by fucking over someone else. Hopefully it´s not me that´s getting fucked over.

''Here'' He gave a little cup of wine ''Sip.''

Well chief, if you give me alcohol i am *not* complaining. ''Thank you Nuncle, could I know why you gave me that ?''

He smiled and patted my head ''It is in celebration Daeron.''

''Celebration of what ?''

''Our victory.'' He took the cup from my hand after i finished drinking it ''The Volantenes have managed to subjugate Lys once more, yet their fleet was destroyed in the fighting. Volantis will not have influence in the Stepstones for the foreseeable future. Some Dornishmen will come to discuss terms with me about the islands they have occupied...I am sure we can come to a satisfactory agreement. Lysandro Saan will have to make some concessions for them I am sure, yet what matters here is that my control over the trade between the narrow and sunset sea will be secured. And all of this was thanks to you, sweet boy. The fighting would have been an uncertain and bloody affair were it not for your Dragon. And for that I must thank you Daeron. I am very proud of you nephew. But this is just the beginning, there are more ... interventions i would like to perform, in places like the Summer Islands. I am sure you would not object to assisting me ?''

I can literally see his eyes turning into Dollar signs as if he were a cartoon character. My uncle is as greedy as 19th-century industrialists. JESUS CHRIST HE´S FUCKING SALIVATING AT THE IDEA OF GETTING MORE COIN.

To be fair, I don´t really have much of a problem with it. War crimes and all that can be very entertaining, especially because it´s all just gonna blow up *spectacularly* in Daemon´s face.

''I would Nuncle , but what was that you mentioned about Dornishmen ?''

I remember getting told that Dornish had also joined in on the Gangbang here in the Stepstones after my uncle seized bloodstone, them, and the Pirate Kings. But I was hoping that it wouldn´t be a problem *I* would have to deal with. For one simple reason :

I hate Dornishmen.

Daerons that get involved with Dorne have a coinflip success ratio. I can either go into Dorne and walk out with Martelussy like Daeron the Good, or i can get Young Dragon`ed. My personality does not really fit Daeron the Good´s, so I expect to get Young Dragon`ed. Daeron I was my favorite Targ King back when i read the Lore. I am Dornephobic.

Worst, this is Dorne in it´s most ''Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken'' moment of its history. Under the Yellow toad. She has grade A badassery despite being fat , old and Blind. With adamantium Plot armor that allows her people to simply ignore the mass burnings of their territories and the Starvation that would likely have come from it. Seriously GRRM, how does the Dornish resistance even make sense?

I also don´t want to get near Wyl Widowlover. FUCK THAT GUY.

''They will be coming here to discuss terms with me and Lysandro Saan.'' He said dismissively ''I will even have a feast thrown in their honor and to celebrate peace...'' He ruffled my hair a bit ''Listen here Nephew, a question for you. Why did i attack the Volantenes, yet negotiate with Dorne? Call it a lesson for you;''

The true answer is: Because you are an opportunistic crow. But that won´t exactly give me any points with Uncle Daemon will it?

Do i care ?

no.

''Because you hit Volantis from behind , while Dorne is ready ?'' I said trying to sound uncertain. But my uncle chuckled with satisfaction. ''Yes sweet boy, that is exactly why. Do not listen to those who will teach you to fight fair or to be chivalrous. Honor your agreements, of course. but when it comes to politics, hit your enemies first, hard and fast.''

''If you say so Nuncle.'' He narrowed his eyes now ''Say Daeron , you have not consumed...whatever it is that Lysandro Saan is handing to our men have you ?''

''No.'' I replied drily.

''Good , whatever it is , the Soldier´s wits are impaired afterwards and they seem...dependant. I do not like it.''

Oh you sweet summer child, That´s only weed, just wait until Lysandro Saan brings out the cocaine.

...

The boring peace feast was in full swing.

Man. I don´t really like this. The food sucks and there´s barely any music besides the drunken singing of Lysandro Saan´s pirates.

My uncle, Captain Drugs, and the Dornish, whom I did my absolute best to avoid in order to continue living , came to some boring agreement that probably involved haggling like Fisherwives but ended with the Dornish gaining some permanent Outposts here in the Stepstones , but recognizing Mr Saan as king of these worthless lands.

Good for him.

Speaking of my least-liked pirate. He´s sitting right beside me. Why you might ask ? Because i decided that the best way to avoid Dornish people , is to be near someone who´s a freak even for their lax standards. My uncle however was seated beside the Dornish represantive , who was a smoking hot woman. Don´t look Daeron , Don´t be seduced by that Dornussy, you are way too young anyway...

''Ah,'' the Pirate said ''You will have to leave soon and thus wish to bask in the glorious presence of Lysandro Saan ?'' He laughed ''That was a wise decision, boy.''

''If you say so.''

''If you say so , *your grace* '' He added teasingly ''I am King Lysandro Saan now... The only downside is the lack of Slavery. BAH , your uncle and his Westerosi Sensibilities. If only he knew the coin he was missing'' Saan shook his head ''Oh well , Lysandro Saan is a man of his word.''

He smirked and pulled out his pipe and a bag that smelled ...oh boy.

''It might be years until you see me again , child...Just accept this gift from your King , Lysandro Saan.''

You know what ? Sure. Why not. How bad can it really be ?

I won´t smoke it. I´ll keep the pipe until the day we find coffee , and i will use the drugs as a way to cause mental deficiencies in people i don´t like by making them chemical dependants.

Perfectly reasonable.

No , I am not lying to myself about not being a stoner

I left the hall afterward for ...reasons.

Say , i don´t think this place is supposed to be this shadowy this early at the afternoo-oh that´s Balerion.

Chapter Text

Do you know what the best part of being a little kid is? People blame the adults in charge of you for your misdeeds. Allowing said child to avoid accountability. And everyone knows just how nice it is to avoid accountability, especially medieval warlords, modern-day politicians, and corporate businessmen. Well, these people and the teacher´s pet. I really did not like the teacher´s pet back in my first life. I was a gigachad who refused to do homework and only studied the day before the exams. It worked out pretty well, I consistently got grades around the A score, before promptly forgetting everything I learned the very next day. Remember kids, School isn´t here to teach you anything besides how to cynically abuse the system to your own benefit. Nice.

I am very thankful for that little perk of being a child as I look at Balerion landing with my Dad atop him.

Balerion is massive. George must have been smoking some of Lysandro Saan´s special drugs when he thought of this monstrosity. There is simply no way a creature the size of Balerion can exist without immediately collapsing in on himself because of his massive weight. This lizard should *not* be flying and magic is a bullshit excuse for Grrm not understanding how numbers work. Meraxes, Vhagar, and Shrykos are all big dragons, but they look downright *puny* when compared to the Black Dread.

My uncle Daemon had left the hall when he heard Balerion´s roar and I can see the sweat coming off this guy´s face as if he were a League of Legends player. The Dornish were there too I guess...The pirates were the smartest people and opted to stay inside, drinking. That is genuinely the best move for them once you think about it hard enough.

My dad dismounted Balerion and oh boy he´s mad. Aerion is tall with broad shoulders and he does have a good amount of muscle that he passed on to Orys and Aegon. He wore plate armor and iron gauntlets. Blackfyre was on his hip and *man* that sword does look very cool. It's a shame it´s not that useful besides looking cool and prestige stuff, I mean, we fight on the Dragons and only rarely go on 1v1 sword fights. But still, that´s just Dragons being OP, not the sword being bad.

''My lord'' Uncle Daemon said with a nervous chuckle ''I am pleased to see you here, to celebrate our glorious victory in the stepstones !''

Aerion walked towards my uncle and punched him in the jaw making Daemon fall like a fucking ragdoll. I have to admit I might have done a discreet chuckle at the sight. Come on now, you can´t expect me actually to feel bad for this guy right? He totally brought it on himself, what exactly was he expecting to happen when my dad found out that his 8-year-old child was being sent to a war zone? Daemon is the kid with the cookie jar, he wanted it so much he didn´t ask himself if he should have.

''Snake'' My father hissed''I entrusted my son to you! You were meant to guide him, to protect him, not to...whatever this is meant to be !'' Aerion kicked Daemon right in the ribs while the guy was down. ''My lord I can expla-'' Dad hit him again, this time right in the face to shut him up. Afterward, Aerion picked him up by the doublet, slapped him twice, and punched Daemon in the jaw again and I´m quite sure I saw some teeth flying.

Get rekt.

''There is no justification. What you did bordered on *Treason!*'' My father made sure to spit on Daemon who was not exactly having a good time at this point. ''You are *lucky* to be my Wife´s brother. *Lucky* to be the uncle to my children, and *Lucky* that i will not have you fed to Balerion. How dare you put the life of my son in danger, how DARE you ?''

My father turned his gaze to me now and spoke in a much softer tone ''Daeron. My sweet son, have you been hurt ?''

Uncle Daemon turned to look at me with a pleading expression.

So I have a choice here.

I could just lie and protect my uncle.

Or

I could tell the truth and see him get his ass handed to him a bit more. Trolling in order words.

...

He´s an asshole who deserves it anyway.

Peace was never an option.

''My shoulder was hit by an Arrow father.''

Aerion beat the shit out of poor Daemon until someone had to casually remind him that my uncle would die if he continued the pummeling. At which point Aerion let my uncle *gently* fall on the ground again before being dragged to a maester. My father then looked at the Dornish , who seemed more amused than shocked at this point, with a tired expression. ''Whatever deal my unruly goodbrother arranged with you will be honored. He had no authority to make it in the first place, but now the milk has been spilled.''

The dornish merely nodded in acknowledgment.

My dad gave me a tight hug. Aww, how cute. He then ruffled my hair. ''Is Shrykos sufficiently well rested for a journey to Dragonstone? I want you out of this place as soon as possible''

''Yes Father, but...how long have you been riding for? Do you and Balerion not need rest'' My father shook his head ''I will make due, child.''

Well...this is awkward... I do think it´s pretty safe to say I won´t have to be fostered with Uncle Daemon anymore. Can´t exactly say I´ll miss him. He was kind of an opportunistic cunt. I only liked the war crimes he gave me leave to perform.

...
Traveling is much faster when you don´t need to wait for ships is what I learned. It had taken a whole month or ''turn of moon'' as the folk around here say, for me and the Velaryon fleet to go from Driftmark to the Stepstones. Doing the exact same journey but with Balerion is taking like…so much less. Dragons are far too good at everything in the world of ice and fire. From traveling to warfare to emotional therapy in the form of violence, there is nothing that Shrykos can´t help me with. It also put into perspective that it´s been six months since my nameday. Time flies when you are attacking merchant ships and warmongering in foreign territories.

''You will be staying with us in Dragonstone for the foreseeable future, Daeron.'' My father said from the back of Balerion ''Until I find someone else, more trustworthy, to foster you.'' It is a tradition for second and third sons to be fostered. My only hope is that wherever I get sent to, I can take Shrykos with me. Because flying is easily the best thing to do in this world...okay, second best. You guys know what number one is...

''Oh, I almost forgot, child. We will visit Oldtown as you ask a moon from now.'' He said it cheerfully ''Your mother and brother are very eager for it. Visenya and I...not as much. But I will do anything for you and your siblings.''

Oh, right. I had asked for that. Kinda forgot about it in the middle of all the burning and stealing.

''Thank you father.'' I replied.

We had an awkward silence for a bit until my dad spoke again.

''So...you found a Valyrian steel sword ?''

''Yes, father. I named it Dragonclaw.''

He chuckled ''We should find a fourth sword for our house, Rhaenys cannot be allowed to be the only one of my children without one.''

''She does not even like swords father, the only thing she wants is Meraxes.'' Not entirely true, Canon Rhaenys wielded Aegon´s sword Whitefyre many times over if what the maesters wrote is an indicator. That also reminds me again that i will likely have to sleep with her. *Gross*. I might be a psychopath who killed for the fun of it and stole family heirlooms because i wanted to and could, but I do have the sliver of decency to recognize that incest is wrong. Do I care ?...that is actually a real question. Hopefully, the answer is that I *do* care. Being a degenerate isn´t anything to be proud of. Professionals have *standards*

My father groaned with annoyance ''Don´t I know it? She has been caught attempting to repeat your stunt with Shrykos three times now.''

Points for persistence I suppose. The girl really wants a dragon. Shame she simply does not have my level of skill to claim one. I am HIM. ''Son.'' My father said a bit teary-eyed ''I am so sorry for not noticing what your uncle was doing, war is a glorious and honorable business for members of our house but...but you are still a child. You must have felt so much fear....''

''I liked it, Father.''

''What ?!'' He asked me with confusion

Dragonstone was in sight now. Seeing it from above makes it look much better than the gloomy and dreary Dracula castle that it is from below. Not because it looks more cheerful or anything, no, but because if I am seeing it from above, then *i* am the Dark lord here, and the aesthetic fits perfectly for that.

Man. I am tired as fuck, so is Shrykos. I do not understand how my father and Balerion are still standing. I am going to take a piss and then nap. I am a little child. That is what I do, alongside chaos and destruction.

The Dragonkeepers were down below, just waiting for us to land so they could tend to our dragons. I also saw Aegon, Rhaenys, and my mother. Visenya is not there, thank god... I have a feeling this will only make things worse for some reason. I sense a disturbance in the force.

Now, I might be tired as fuck and physically falling apart. But I still made sure to perform a barrel roll before landing. I am simply built different. The literal instant Shrykos landed and i put my feet on the ground, and my mother hugged me.

I get hugged a lot don´t I? That´s good. I like hugs.

''Son....'' She said patting my back ''You are safe now, your mother is here, do not worry.'' She started inspecting literally every inch of my body in a very embarrassing display for me. Once she saw that i was whole , Valaena sighed with relief and then hugged me again, a bit tighter this time, and then looked at Aerion ''Have you dealt with my brother ?'' She said the word Brother with so much venom i almost felt bad for Daemon.

Almost.

''I put that worm in his place.'' My father replied with anger. ''Good.'' My mother said viciously.

''Brother !'' Rhaenys said getting closer to me ''Father told us about what Uncle Daemon was doing with you ! That was awful of him! How could he put you in so much danger!.''

I narrowed my eyes a bit. Annoyed. ''I was not in danger, Rhaenys. I *was* the Danger. A guy goes off to fight and comes back burned and you think of me? No. I am the one who Dracarys´.''

Rhaenys looked at me dumbfounded ''Brother? A..are you well ?''

''I am perfectly right in the head sister,'' I replied as cheerfully as i could.

''I..If you say so...'' She said

''Daeron.''

''Aegon.''

Aegon stared at me for a bit with his typical poker face. He´s annoying like that. Eventually, he pointed at Dragonclaw. ''How did you get this ?'' I shrugged. My mother was still holding me and playing with my hair. She was so relieved at having me back i doubt that she was even listening to whatever it was her children were saying. ''I took it from some Volantene.'' Aegon frowned ''You stole a family heirloom? '' ''Do you care ?'' There was a brief pause until Aegon replied ''No. But I am happy for you, Visenya has Dark Sister. I will have Blackfyre and you have...'' He trailed off ''Dragonclaw. I named it Dragonclaw.'' Aegon waved dismissively ''Yes, Dragonclaw. We should find something of Valyrian Steel for Orys and Rhaenys. Our siblings deserve only the best.'' Valaena did not like the positive mention to Orys. But Aegon simply does not care , he is very my way or the highway. As him subjugating an entire continent and being genocidal in Dorne shows.

''How was war ?'' He asked with curiosity.

''Fun,''

Rhaenys and my mother looked horrified. Aegon looked even more curious now ''Fun? I have heard many descriptions of fighting, but never fun. What was fun about it? Why? War has always struck me as more of something to be done to further some goal instead of for any form of enjoyment.'' Aegon. You are 13 now since you have had your nameday during the time i was out doing war crimes. STOP BEING PRAGMATIC AT AGE 13.

''Well Aegon, it was fun because i got to fly around on Shrykos and burn things. You have no idea how fun it is to burn things !''

Aegon looked at me as if I were deranged. *ME*. ''Brother, can you tell me about the...important parts of fighting.''

''Important parts ?"' I thought for a bit ''Well , burning down that city , suffocating those idiots at that tower, and feeding that other moron to Shrykos were definitely the best parts of it.''

''YOU DID WHAT ?'' My mother turned me around and looked me in the eyes ''Sweet child, why would you feed someone to your dragon ? Choke them alive ? Oh, my sweet Daeron, think of your reputation for the future !''

''Mother'' Aegon said. ''They were his enemies. Everything goes if it solves the problem the easiest way possible. Although...feeding someone to a Dragon seems...like an excessive and unneeded act of cruelty to me...''

Fuck you Aegon. Don´t remember asking for your opinion on feeding people to Shrykos.

''Are you two listening to yourselves speak ?'' Rhaenys said horrified ''You two are talking about killing people ! It sounds awful. Daeron , how could you do these things and act like it´s nothing ?'' Oh the hypocrisy. Tell that to the Planky town Rhaenys.

Aegon and I stared back at Rhaenys. ''Sister'' Aegon said ''At least to me , war can be good if it is done with a purpose.'' My mother looked at him with some frustration ''Listen to your sister Aegon , Rhaenys is right. If you go to war and die , can you imagine what that would do to your mother ?'' She kissed Rhaenys in the cheek ''You are the only one showing sense Sweet Daughter of mine.''

I spoke as smugly as possible. ''Of the three of you , which one has fought in a war ?'' They stayed quiet. ''Exactly. Only me , therefore , you should all take my word for it. I have more *experience* in the subject.''

Aegon shrugged '' You have not answered my question Daeron. When i asked you about the important parts of war. I meant to ask ''What was our Uncle´s goal with it ?'' , ''How did he plan his invasion'' , ''How did he feed the soldiers.'' Things like that''

I sighed and spent like half an hour explaining this crap to him.

It was not very fun , but he listened to it intently and i am sure he took mental notes.

Weirdo.

...

I was in my room. Nearing sleep.

I heard the noise of my door´s Iron hinge scream as it opened the door. My first thoughts were ''Fuck, Euron Greyjoy has come to ''teach me how to pray'' as he would say it. But when i opened my eyes I saw Visenya Grinning. Uh, this is awkward as fuck. She had her hair braided and was wearing the stuff that boys use on the training yard. I saw Dark sister on her hip

''Sister...'' I said lazily.

''Daeron'' She said getting closer ''I am so very proud of you!''

Wait what?

'' Vise-''

'' I saw almost everything, dear brother my magic still has ...limits...'' She wiped a tear from her eye ''And i could not have been more impressed. Truly , you proved yourself a warrior blood of Old Valyria. I remember laughing when you burned down the fort in Bloodstone. I was even more pleased when you fed the dog that had the audacity to hurt you to Shrykos. These Volantenes have some nerve to call themselves heirs to Valyria when we are right here ... but you showed them that they were wrong. They made their absurd claims and your dragon was enough to prove them completely wrong! You slaughtered them like Sheep !.''

She laughed happily ''And you claimed a Valyrian Steel sword! Oh, Daeron you simply could not have done any better! You can meet me at the yard tomorrow and i will teach you how to use it. Valyrian Steel is quite different from other types of weapons ....''

She saw the anxious look on my face ''Don´t worry dear brother. It won´t hurt *too* much.''

Visenya then turned around and left my room.

....

Let me just go back to sleep...actually...i have some of Lysandro Saan´s special ..thingies...do i use them ?....no. Best not to.

Chapter Text

You know what I don´t like?

Losing.

You know what I'm doing right now

Losing.

''Try harder little brother'' Visenya said harshly with Dark Sister in her hand. The fact that she thinks it is appropriate to train with Valyrian Steel is insane. Losing on the insanity scale only to the fact she´s doing it with her 8-year-old Brother. ''I do not care that it hurts. You must keep working through the pain.''

I made my cutest kid face possible. ''B..but sister! You are 6 years older and better with a sword! It´s not fair'' She narrowed her eyes. ''Meaningless. You will only improve with a blade if you fight someone with superior skill. Pain is a necessary part of the process, every time you get hurt your body will then heal stronger. Embrace it Daeron! You do not have to enjoy getting hurt, I certainly don´t, but you have to withstand it. When I am wed to Aegon and rule Dragonstone alongside him, I will need every sword arm i can get.''

I sighed ''Must we do it with Valyrian Steel? I fear losing a finger...'' Getting the Urrigon Greyjoy treatment is not what I want. In general, I do not want to be a Greyjoy in any capacity ( Except maybe Dalton) but especially not the one that is known only for being abused by Euron and then dying an awful horrific death. Visenya narrowed her eyes.''Yes, we must do it with Valyrian Steel. You will not be maimed if you fight properly so...''

''Try harder'' I finished for her. ''Can I at least ask you a question before you put me in the ground for the third time in just these 15 minutes ?''

''Yes.'' I Took a deep breath. ''If you were watching me fight in the stepstones, why did you not tell father immediately?'' Visenya scoffed. As if my question was somehow absurd. ''You know that i love our father more than anyone, but he is also too soft sometimes. If i had warned him, you would not have gained much experience as a warrior would you ?''

...ok.

''Thank you, sister. I enjoyed every second of it!'' She smiled at me with an expression full of pride ''That is the mentality I want from you, now, apply it to sword training.''

Fuck.

I raised Dragonclaw, doing my best to enter Ultra instinct as if i were an anime character. I felt the calmness surge within me, I was attuned with the blade. I felt the wind at my back and had the typical smirk of an anime protagonist. I performed my Jojo pose. ''Muda ,muda, Sister, any attack you use against me is useless, useless useless.''

She did not look impressed.

Visenya took three steps forward. I might have been in Jojo pose mode, but there was simply no chance that any attack of hers would get through my Stan- I mean my defenses. She did not even raise Dark Sister...what is her plan? Is this a trap?

Visenya kicked me in the balls.

''What is that posture, you idiot? This is serious training, not a performance for mummers.'' She shook her head in frustration.

I was on the ground, crying hot tears of pain while clutching my future little dragons as a defense mechanism. ''G..Go to the seven hells Visenya ! ARGH IT HURTS SO MUUUCHHHHHH'' Visenya smiled smugly at me now ''There are no seven hells Daeron, only 14 flames. Remember that brother, it is part of our heritage and of our blood, things that make us superior to those Essosi and Westerosi Barbarians.'' Just forget the Slavery, blood magic fuckery, and general degeneracy of the freehold Visenya. Just forget that.

She sighed ''You are not in any condition to keep training...I will let you take the rest of the day for rest. But we will resume tomorrow. And no more mummery or...whatever that was.''

Oh yeah, we will continue this tomorrow you little *shit*. I don´t take crap lying down, I am not submissive and I sure as shit ain´t no SIMP. When someone hits me, I hit back. Hard. But alas, Visenya is simply stronger than me for now...So I will have to search for *backup*...after i am done crying about my balls of course.

...
''Hello Brother !'' I said. ''Oh, Daeron.'' Orys replied.

Orys was at a dragonstone inn. Arm wrestling and drinking alcohol at the same time. All the while a woman of...suspicious virtue , let's leave it at that , was caressing him. In other words, Orys was having the time of his life. ''Just wait a moment little brother.'' He drank a massive cup of Ale in like 4 seconds and then smashed the hand of the other guy who was arm-wrestling him. Orys laughed and looked smug ''Ya wankers owe me 30 gold dragons now.'' The drunks at the inn whined but deposited the coin right at Orys´s greedy hands. He sniffed ''So, Daeron. How are you? I heard you fought in a war ?''

''About that...Orys would you mind if we spoke somewhere else ?....'' Orys realized that *perhaps* a child should not be in this den of degeneracy and quickly took me outside.''Thank you Orys.'' He patted my back ''It was nothing, little brother...So, about the war ?''

''My uncle Daemon took me to the Stepstones had me burn some things. The only bad part was when someone hit me with an Arrow.'' Orys´eyes darkened and he put his hand on my shoulder a bit protectively ''Who? Who hurt you Daeron ? If this man is still alive i will chase him down even if it means going through the seven hells and ripping him out from whichever one he has hidden in so I can avenge you. No one can hurt my brother and get away with it , do you understand Daeron ? If *anyone* lays a hand on you, I will kill them.''

Well...that was an outburst. ''I had him fed to Shrykos.'' Orys seemed satisfied. This dude is big into revenge. ''Good.'' He replied drily.''So , Orys...would you mind helping me with something ?'' He nodded ''Anything for you Daeron.''

''Could you...teach me how to fight? Like you help Ser Quenton teach Aegon ?'' Orys frowned ''I can help you with the basics of it , but you are still too young for anything too advanced.'' I sighed ''Orys, it´s because I...uhm....*acquired* a Valyrian Steel sword there in the Stepstones and Visenya is ...well obsessed with making me ''worthy'' of it as she says , so she keeps beating me to a pulp! I am tired of losing !''

''Valyrian steel ?'' Orys said with bewilderment but i snapped him out of it ''THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT !''

He shrugged ''Well, I can certainly help you then, Visenya should not be using Valyrian steel near a child, that is *absurd*.''

Orys took me to the training yard and fetched two wooden swords.The reasoning for not using live steel, beyond just the danger of it, is that you can´t practice as well with it. Think of it like this, if I use a shitty wooden sword, i can fight as hard as i want to without fear of killing someone, if I use live steel , the training has to be more careful.

That does not mean that getting whacked by wood doesn´t hurt.

''There is only so much i can teach you in a day.'' Orys said while putting the sword in my hand ''But i can give you the most important part of it all : Footwork.''

I frowned ''That´s boring.''

''Yes. But proper footwork is what allows you to move quickly dear brother, that and not stepping on your toes , not being clumsy...half of fighting with swords boils down to footwork and stance. Now, do exactly as i am doing.''

It was a very boring afternoon, but a very useful one! Orys left after an hour or so and told me to keep repeating what he´d shown me. Fair game bro.

When i was about to leave the yard i saw the setting sun and, man. It is beautiful, even in this place that looks like Skeletor´s castle. Orys ruffled my hair with affection and told me that i did good. Now , i am not good enough to defeat Visenya in a *Fair* fight , which i why i will use a little something i´ve cooked up here in my head. To be fair , it is not some great showing of brilliance , but Visenya is only 14 , she´s gonna fall for it like a fish in a net.

''Daeron.'' I hear an anxious voice from far away say. I turned around and oh.

''Aegon.'' He was fidgeting a bit and sweating with a nervous smile. He is rarely nervous. This is jarring. Aegon came closer and i could feel a trap coming. I can sense the disturbance in the natural order of the elements approaching me and if there is one thing that i am good at, it´s avoiding consequences / problems before they can catch up to me. ''So'' He said Awkwardly , trying to force himself to small talk.''How was your ...training.''

''Aegon. Get to the point , you do not need to exchange courtesies with me.''

''Oh thank you Daeron'' He replied with genuine gratitude ''I just...need someone to speak with....Visenya flowered last month and father wants me to wed her very soon and maybe you could...''

Ha

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

''No.''

''Please brother, I promise I will make it up to you later when I am lord.''

''No.''

''I AM BEGGING DAERON! Can you imagine how awful it will be for me ?! Senya and I will fight over everything !''

''*NO*''

He smiled sheepishly ''Well uhm...S...sorry for bothering you with this...''

''I am sure You and Visenya will be a great couple brother! Don´t worry about it.''

Fun fact: I am not pulling the pin on that grenade. Reasoning? I am not a submissive person and do not enjoy fighting for control/Getting dominated. Sorry not sorry, I have my type.

...

''So Daeron'' Visenya said with her arms crossed. Dark Sister on her hip and a serious expression on her face. ''Are you ready for your training today? you *better* be.'' I laughed cockily ''Oh yes I am. Don´t worry about me.'' She frowned ''Where has all this confidence come from? Not that I am complaining about it of course, it is good to be confident. But just...are you not afraid of fighting me ?''

''Nah. I´d win.''

Visenya doesn´t even know what nah means considering it´s modern slang. But she hyperfocused on that second part and saw it as a form of personal attack. She smirked and raised Dark Sister ''I told you that confidence was a good thing Daeron, not delusion.''

I lazily unsheathed Dragonclaw, doing my best to maximize my swagness, even managing to sneak in a wink and a smile. Visenya did not like my attitude and charged with Dark sister in hand.

Oh yeah , it´s all coming together.

I raised Dragonclaw and had it reflect the sunlight straight into her eyes , afterwards, i used my god-tier footwork to get near her before she recovered from the temporary blindness and hit her in the jaw with Dragonclaw´s hilt. I am not exactly the strongest guy around considering i am 8 years old. But well , it was enough to put her down on the ground for a second. Probably because she was also confused and blinded.

''What´s wrong Senya ? I thought you were going to beat me ? Or was that all just pride speaking ?'' Visenya got up slowly and with a proud smile in her face ''That was well done Daeron ! Unfortunately...'' She grinned almost like a fucking predator now ''It was not enough.''

''Huh...so it seems i will have to try another trick on you Senya. My most special skill !'' She shrugged ''You will not catch me by surprise like that again.''

I smirked.

My secret technique , passed down after centuries of traditions and studies.

NIGERUNDAYO ( Running away)

''Wa..Wait DAERON WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?! COME BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!''

I did not come back.

She tried chasing me.

She failed.

I put her ass on the ground and got away with it. That´s a W. Throughout heaven and Earth, I alone am the honored one. Deal with it Visenya.

...
I was in Rhaenys´room, alongside Rhaenys herself and my mother. You might ask yourself, doing what? Drinking tea. The ladies here do that. I do not care in the slightest that it´s girly or for the social connotations of it. I am only here for the tea. Call me a Brit, but i fooking love tea Mate. In fact, while they are prattling and gossiping about things that I do not care about, I am vibing with my drink here good sir. Even hyperactive menaces such as myself require chill every once in a while.

''I am so happy that your father has agreed to have us visit Oldtown'' My mother said before sipping some tea ''You will see so many wonders in the reach! So many lords and ladies, maybe even King Mern himself! And the Hightower !''

Rhaenys giggled with delight ''Oh Mother I can´t wait! Do you think there will be tourneys there? I´ve never seen a tourney before, father never holds one here.''

My mother chuckled ''Oh Rhaenys, I am sure you will see a tourney. They are very common things on those lands...and who knows'' My mother winked and smirked ''Maybe you will find some knight in shining armor to wed, like in the stories you like to hear so much.''

Rhaenys frowned ''But father says I am to marry Daeron. I can´t have two husbands at the same time can I ?'' Valaena kissed Rhaenys on the cheek and laughed ''No sweetling , you cannot have two husbands at the same time. But if you fall in love with some gallant knight from the reach, your father would surely allow you two to marry.'' Rhaenys crossed her arms in a petty manner ''No dragonless man will ever be worthy of me. So only Aegon and Daeron can have me when I get big !''

''Incest is wrong sister,'' I said drily before sipping my tea. Valaena looked at me as if i were an angel coming down from the heavens themselves. She gave me a tight hug ''YES! Listen to your brother Rhaenys, listen to him! Oh my sweet boy '' She kissed my cheek. Rhaenys narrowed her eyes ''Are you saying you don´t want me, brother.''

''Yes.'' I replied just as drily as before, sipping my tea again.''You are my sister and i love you, but I am sure you can find someone else to marry, or you could just go unwed.'' I shrugged.

''LET´S NOT GO TOO FAR'' Valaena said in shock ''Of course your sister has to marry!''. Rhaenys looked devastated. ''W..what do you mean you do not want me? did I do something wrong?'' I sighed. ''No. You did nothing wrong.'' Oh great she´s crying.

''Sweet Daughter , don´t cry.'' Valaena said while holding her tightly ''Your brother did not mean to degrade you , you are the loveliest little lady and my pride and joy.''

Rhaenys kept sobbing. Oh well, thin skin is her problem. *sip*.

Tea makes me a bit desensitized for some reason. ''Oh Rhaenys, just stay here, i will have some servants fetch you something to clean those tears in your face and your dress.''

The instant Valaena left the room , Rhaenys changed from crying to smirking. ''Little brother.'' She said in a tone that did not have even the slightest tinge of sadness, only self-satisfaction. Oh great, she learned how to fake crying. I was just staring at her deadpan. ''Listen here Daeron, I did all that just to get Mother out of this room so I could tell you some things.''

''I refuse to marry a dragonless man, so it is either you or Aegon. And Aegon already will have Visenya. I will make due with you. Second, I feel very offended that you would reject me.'' She pouted and crossed her arms ''I have been nothing but kind to you. I understand that Mother speaks to us about incest while Father and Senya spout out the exact opposite drivel , but i also know you have no issues breaking every other form of rule or restraint, so that is no excuse! I want my children to ride Dragons, and if I don´t marry you or Aegon , who knows if they will be able to !''

''Ok.'' I said while sipping from my tea again.

''Are you even listening to me ?!'' She said frustrated.

''Yes. You have been saying a lot of things about Dragonless men while having no dragons yourself.''

Her smirk turned downright devilish ''Yes. And that is why you will help me sneak out and claim Meraxes, do you understand? I don´t know how you managed to do it to claim Shrykos , but i have tried three times now and i am always caught! It´s not fair that you get to do it and not me, I am tired of waiting !''

''Sure,'' I said sipping some tea. She blinked ''You don´t need to be convinced ?''

''No.''

How bad can it be anyway? In and out , a 20 minute adventure.

Chapter Text

Mission Start.

Operative: Daeron Targaryen.

Affiliation: Task Force 141. Former SAS.

Equipment: Pipe and small bag of drugs.(Good stuff. Immediate effects.) Two ponies. (Codenames Smiley and Kovalski) Whip, Natural charm. (Low effectiveness tool)

Psychological Evaluation: Mediocre intelligence. Unpredictable and erratic, Unreliable. Consequence denier and Accountability avoider. Chaotic and violent with a streak of pettiness. Anti-Incest.

Mission debrief: Your sister Rhaenys (Codename Baby Dragon) desires to claim her own dragon. Meraxes.(Codename Mama Dragon.) For that to happen you (Condor I) must successfully smuggle Rhaenys out of her room and neutralize the guards that have been posted nearby due to her multiple failed attempts at slipping out. You and Rhaenys cannot be detected, under pain of failure.

Mission success consequences: Happy sister. This is of some importance to Operative and he would like to see it happen.

Mission failure consequences: Scolding. Sad Rhaenys.

(Queue Looming Dread from Resident Evil 2) Deploying Operative in mission Area (Region below Rhaenys´window.) *Smokes for dramatic effect*

Bravo six. Going Dark.

Operative walks in slow and silent steps. Baby Dragon has been informed of the plan and despite the lack of illumination in her room she is awake. Condor I moving in.

Guards are spotted below the window, protecting the garden that Baby Dragon´s room has a view. They are extra vigilant due to Baby Dragon´s previous half-hearted attempts at escape. They come in the number of two. Wear chainmail and wield spears and large round shields. Condor I moving in to neutralize them.

''Hi !'' Condor, I waved happily and used his body as a child to lower the psychological defenses of guards. Guards appear shocked at the Operative´s presence in the mission area. Proceed with recklessness. ''Lord Daeron...'' one of them says cautiously ''My lord should be sleeping at this time. He is not allowed to wander this late at
night.''

Use: Charisma. Operative´s charisma stat is a solid 7 out of 10. ''I know'' Condor I giggles ''I came here to give you all a gift! You guys just work so *hard* losing so much sleep every day and no one values you all properly ! Just so unfair...mayhaps some day i will teach you about the ideas of this old man with a beard called Marx, as long as you all promise not to overthrow *me*.'' Condor I shakes his head ''I am going on a tangent here , what i wish to share is this '' Condor I pulls out a pipe and drugs and smirks ''Great gift....''

Guard seems interested but confused ''My lord... i am thankful for your gesture but...what exactly *is* that ?'' Condor I grinned from ear to ear ''A one-way ticket to heaven.''

Guard number one smokes before passing it over to guard number two. In no time at all they are in another reality, completely incapacitated. Lysandro Saan´s drugs are of much higher potency than what Operative initially thought.

Operative approaches the window of Baby Dragon. ''Baby Dragon. Condor I to Baby Dragon.'' VIP answers the call ''Daeron!'' she says cheerfully, giggling.''Just wait a second and i will be down there! Also, what are those things you´re saying ?*giggling*'' Condor I is not pleased by Baby Dragon´s lack of urgency.

Baby Dragon used her blankets as a form of ''rope'' to climb down from the window. She smiled happily at the operative, who remained stoic. ''Follow me.'' Condor I put his fingers up as if they were a pistol and walked Baby Dragon through the garden. ''Uhm..brother, what have you done to the guards ?'' Asked Baby Dragon with a confused tone ''They are having sweet dreams, Baby Dragon.'' VIP Frowned ''Daeron, why are you calling me that ?'' The operative continued moving forward, checking for potential threats with his hand pistol. ''It is your codename.''

''What ?'' Baby Dragon asked with even more confusion. Operative began to put mud over his body , to conceal his temperature from potential predator drones. Operative also began to crawl around. ''Get down.'' Operative hissed. ''Daeron ?! What is wrong with you ?!'' Baby Dragon said ''Wh...what is that big red thing you are using on your forehead ?!''

''Everything.'' Condor I replies with an angry bitter tone. ''I haven´t been the same since Nam, those dirty money-grubbing politicians send me out to hell. I saw my friends falling apart, their guts spilling out despite their best efforts to keep it in. I ate cockroaches to survive and other things that would make a mountain goat puke. I see the Vietcongs in my dreams Baby Dragon. And there I kill them every night.''

''Daeron.'' Baby Dragon says. Get out of that mud. Stop crawling and please stop acting like this, You are making me scared for your sake!'' Condor I sighs at Baby Dragon´s naivety and lack of operational tact and experience. Yet her psychological well-being is necessary in order to successfully claim a dragon. Condor I gets up from the mud and takes Baby Dragon´s hand. Baby Dragon complains about getting dirty but is otherwise silent.

Condor I successfully takes them to the ponies. He mounts Smiley, Baby Dragon mounts Kovalski. ''Good.'' Operative mutters to himself ''Baby Dragon is extracted. Now , we must secure Mama Dragon.''

Baby Dragon rolls her eyes.

...

Dragons are creatures that create nests and lairs in caves , and sleep in those nests at night. Finding which one Meraxes was located in had been child´s play, neutralizing the Dragonkeepers had also been easy. Lysandro Saan´s drugs had them in a whole nother world in a question of minutes.

Baby Dragon entered the cave with the greatest smile of delight that the Operative has ever seen. She hugged him. '' Thank you Daeron! Thank you so much for helping me with this! Oh, we will love flying together !'' Baby Dragon´s expression turned mischievous and a smirk was plastered on her lips ''Now, let me deal with Meraxes...'' Condor I remained impassive and stoic.

Mama Dragon was a large dragon similar in size to Shrykos. Gender assumed female , though data on this topic is inconclusive. She has silver scales that shine in the moonlight. An animal of some beauty, though Operative will insist that Shrykos is more beautiful with the golden color.

Baby Dragon approached confidently , feeling no fear of the dragon, a whip in her hand. The dragon made her displeasure known by smashing the ground with the tail , but Baby Dragon laughed ''Oh are you angry Meraxes? Don´t be, I will make it all better for you if you give me the chance !''

Mama Dragon looked at VIP with suspicion. The small feeble human dropped the whip and raised her hands up as a sign of surrender ''See ? There is no hurt coming with me , none at all...just stay calm.''

The big Lizard harrumphed and growled but otherwise remained immobile and calm. Baby Dragon touched the animal´s nose and ''booped'' it. Laughing with delight at the now embarrassed creature. She touched Mama Dragon gently once more.''Now Meraxes, all i want with you is to fly. Don´t you want that too? We would be in the skies all the time, you would be with your dragon kin as I would be with my own kin. It will be nice, just trust me!''

After this, Mama Dragon remained completely still for some time before lowering her back so Baby Dragon could climb, The VIP had some tears of joy on her face and shook with delight, laughing.

Mission successful.

Operative Rank : S

Chapter Text

''I am in Arkham Asylum'', for most people that would be a disaster. The difference is that I am not like most people, this might be a madhouse, but I´m the Joker.

Okay, I might have exaggerated things a bit. I am actually in Baby Drag-I mean *Rhaenys´* Room. When my dad found out that another one of his children had somehow sneaked past the guards and claimed a dragon, he had slumped in the big throne that sat in Dragonstone Hall and gave out a Hitler downfall speech about how guards in his castle can´t keep track of an 11-year-old girl and her 8-year-old brother. Valaena had also been concerned. But Rhaenys had been completely unrepentant , she didn´t even try emotional manipulation like i did when i claimed Shrykos. Nope, she said she wanted a dragon and now that she had one everything had been worth it. That had left my father *quite* wroth with her, and me by extension. So he´s essentially put the both of us into confinement for a week.

Well Aerion, locking me in a room isn´t that much of a punishment. I mostly sit here, drinking tea and reading some books. Rhaenys on the other hand is psychologically collapsing. She keeps running from one side of the room to the other like a rat in a cage. Extroverts when they can´t spend all their time outside moment. Oh well , at least she´s doing better than Aegon. When I saw him in the hall while Aerion scolded Rhaenys and me, he looked like he was dead inside. Visenya just looked at us with disapproval and frustration, she probably was furious over her own failure in being Big Brother as described by George Orwell. Cry me a river.

Oh well, two weeks from now i can go to Oldtown. Probably one of the less shitty places in Westeros. All I can hope for is that i don´t accidentally trigger the dance a hundred years early by meddling with the Hightowers. But then again, the Dance only happened because Aemond was a psychopath and murdered Lucerys, Viserys was an idiot who didn´t just name Aegon heir upon his birth (Saving so much trouble for all involved), Or at least properly secure Rhaenyra´s position (Not hard at *all*), Daemon was a chaotic freak (Do love him for it, except Blood and cheese.), Otto a snake, saying that Aegon was not the sharpest tool in the shed wouldn´t be correct either, he was a blunt object. Really, only the Lads, Ormund, Jace, and Daeron showed competence in the Dance. Well, maybe Cregan Stark too if you consider waiting until the last moment to actually do something smart, or Dalton Red Kraken for the great intelligence of 1-not attacking before the negotiation phase (Take notes Balon) and 2-being good at being a monster.

So it actually is unlikely I will start the Dance early. Which is good. Though I will admit to having been team green in life. You could ask yourself why. But the answer is simple. I just like Sunfyre and the Aegon banner. That´s it. Rights of succession and birth can kiss my ass, get Sunfyred, Rhaenyra. Literally, nothing else in Team Green is cool for me. It really is just Goatfyre, but I don´t need more than that. That is why I am very grateful that Shrykos is golden, it means she is related to the GOAT.

Staying so long in one chill place has made me think about Westeros. More specifically, if Aegon is to give me a Kingdom to rule over in his name, which one would i want?
The Stormlands can be cool, a bunch of testosterone-fueled madmen with more brawls than brains could be a fun crowd to hand around...but then i would be taking something from Orys, and he´s a homie. Homies don´t hurt homies.

The North is a no because Torrhen Stark is a little bitch who will surrender without a fight, so I can´t have his kingdom. Coward. FIGHT ME!!!

Dorne: No. I do not want to get poisoned.

The Vale is also not something i want to deal with, fuck the Eyrie, what type of bitch castle is that? The architecture does not even make sense ?!!

Westerlands: Would be down, it would mean I have successfully eliminated the Lannisters from this world, a very good thing, that will preemptively wipe Tywin off the face of the earth and would also give me *money* , a cozy castle and relative stability and internal cohesion when compared to the other regions of Westeros.

The Reach is boring. I don´t like the Tyrells, Gardners, Redwynes, or High(Targ)Towers at all. I also hate fruits and veggies and that´s all the reach has to offer. It´s also full of double-faced plotters and schemers, liars, and religious fanatics who believe in the weakest religion of Planetos. On the other hand, since the reach is the wealthies region of Westeros, setting it on fire could be fun...though i doubt that´s what Aegon would like. But then again, do I care about what he likes or not? Probably a bit, though not too much.

The Iron Islands ?... On one hand, I was a fan of the Greyjoys in my first life, they were awful, but they were entertaining with the best outlook in life in my opinion. ''Yes, the path that we are currently going down is not effective for the continued growth of our society, also we just gonna do what we wanna do man''. Admirably chaotic, stubborn and single-minded. As far as characters went down, Victarion´s stupidity was heartwarming, Theon´s arc was heart-wrenching, Euron and Aeron were quite interesting to me , and the psychopathy of Dalton Greyjoy was something i thought made for great entertainment when i read it the first time. But there is a massive downside in ruling the Iron Islands, *LIVING THERE*. That is an overwhelmingly negative point. Unless Aegon just hands me the Isles and the Riverlands at the same time, which he could, and speaking of...

The Riverlands are probably the best bet for me. Whenever a conflict starts, they spontaneously combust due to Geography placing them in the middle of all the Kingdoms. And i would be right there, in the middle of all the fun....

Oh, but I do not want to actually rule, why? BECAUSE I DO NOT COUNT COPPERS! I will find someone to rule in my name...this is actually a point towards the Reach, I can essentially just let the Steward Tyrells rule Highgarden and the Reach for me while I cosplay as Bobby B. The West is quite stable so i don´t think it would take a lot from me, but the Iron Islands and the Riverlands certainly would, that is a point against them. Though it makes me wonder, if i end up in charge of the Ironborn, would I try and reform them or just use them as attack dogs?

Decisions....Decisions....

I am snapped back to reality by the sound of Rhaenys banging her head against the wall. I sighed, sipped my tea like the classy gentleman that I am, and closed the book I was reading. ''Rhaenys, sit still. You´ll get dizzy if you don´t.''

''B..but Daeron, how am I supposed to do that !" She whined ''I finally have my own dragon and father just keeps me here like a caged bird! It is so unfair! There is a whole world out there for me to explore!'' She kicked the door ''Father! Can you hear me ?! Let me out! Pleaseeeeeee''

*sip*

''Rhaenys. He is not here, do you think he is sitting there on the other side of that door all day long just to hear you? Besides, what Father has done to us is perfectly fair. We broke the rules and he is punishing us for it. Really, he´s been quite lenient.''

Rhaenys pouted ''Lenient? He is being unspeakably harsh with me ! Did you forget how he scolded me in front of everyone at court !''

*sip*

''I didn´t listen to the exact words, after a while our father started to ramble and I stopped paying attention. But I did understand the general idea of it, yes.'' I snickered a bit ''I was more focused on our brother´s face Rhaenys. Did you get a good look at him ?'' Rhaenys had a mischievous look now ''Oh that is because father will have him wed to Visenya a week from now.''

Aegon is 13. Visenya is 14. A week from now, these two kids will be husband and wife. Forget the incest, I think this is a major concern.

''If you can get it up, you can get laid.''-Aerion Targaryen to his children.

''A week from now ? I thought they would wed only after we came back from Oldtown ?'' Rhaenys looked smug ''You would know father changed the date of their wedding if you paid more attention to your family Daeron! When it is our turn, I don´t want you missing the day to the wedding, even if I have to drag you by the hair.''

Fair enough. I discount most of what people around me say as just idle gossip. So i do end up missing quite a good chunk of information. *sips*. ''I guess that is why he went to talk with me a couple of days ago.'' Rhaenys looked curious, she was adamant in gossiping. I hate gossip.''About what ? Tell me ! You can´t leave me hanging like this!''

''Oh , he wanted to swap the betrothals, You for him and Visenya for me. I denied him on the spot of course.'' Rhaenys seemed surprised ''He did ? Well...it is nice of you to want me instead of Senya, but if i am being honest, i wouldn´t mind being with Aegon instead of you. He is not Dragonless either.'' She crossed her arms with pettiness and put her nose up like a brat, even closing her eyes to look the part of a bratty privileged girl. Rhaenys, girl, you aren´t smart enough to trick me. I see through the attitude, you are just trying to get back at me for saying i didn´t want you before. I still don´t want you as a wife.

I hate when girls do this, I remember so many of them trying to look all scary with their ''Wednesday personality''. Bitch, I could swallow the real Wednesday Addams whole, do you people have any idea whom you´re dealing with? I would have her on the ground, *Begging* for mercy.

''Good for you Rhaenys.'' i sipped my tea and went right back to reading. Leaving a very befuddled Rhaenys. ''Y...you don´t care? ...B...but why did you reject Senya then ?''

''Rhaenys , the problem is not you. Though i will admit Visenya *Is* a problem. The main problem is just that incest is wrong. Aegon can have you both and i wouldn´t mind.''

She looked horrified ''Being a secondary wife !? You would condemn me to something like that Daeron? Do you not see how shameful that would be for me? Even in the Old Valyria that Senya and Father speak so much about it was rare for a man to take more than one woman. I would only ever think of something like that if I had no other choice.''

Hypocrite. Dirty , Dirty Hypocrite.

''What are you smirking at '' She said with narrowed eyes. ''This is all very serious and important !''

I smirked more

''Stop that!''

I grinned

''IT IS NOT FUNNY !''

I sipped from my tea.

Chapter Text

Rome was built atop a Hill. Likewise, my bunker was built atop Rhaenys´bed. I used some Blankets to serve as the ''Roof''. The Bunker has one singular, extremely important function. Telling Rhaenys scary stories until she sleeps. Very important business, of the highest degree of importance of course, I can only achieve inner peace when that girl is asleep. Normally this is the type of thing done at a campfire, with a flashlight. But we are grounded, and we don´t have flashlights. So blankets and candles will have to do.

Rhaenys is so *cute*. I kinda wanna hold her like a teddy bear and pinch her nose and play peekaboo as if she were a little baby. She was in her pajamas with a face full of expectation, just waiting for me to tell her something scary. Awww my heart melted a bit at the sight of eagerness that shone in her eyes. So *CUTE*.

How exactly did this child turn into a monstrous war criminal that started a war with an unprovoked attack on a city full of women and children, but devoid of any soldiers again? (Planky town)...although to be fair, she did a shitty job at it. I would have firstly burned down the escape routes and let the city population choke on the smoke for a bit, forcing them to seek shelter, and then burned up said shelter. Rhaenys has the spirit of a war criminal, just not the *finesse*.

''Come on Daeron, start the story up already !'' She said giggling.

I cleared my throat, trying my hardest to sound like the ''Wise mentor with a big beard who lives in a small village for some reason and does exposition for the MC'' Stereotype.
Unfortunately, I do not have a beard and my voice isn´t exactly deep considering i have not even entered puberty. Where is my manliness when i need it? *sighs*

''Are you sure Rhaenys? It will be so scary it will give you nightmares...'' Rhaenys scoffed and pouted. ''Nothing can scare me! Papa and Balerion will never let anyone hurt me. And if it comes down to it, Meraxes will eat whoever tries !''

Oh really? Tell that to the Uller guy with a Scorpion bolt and aimbot, just itching to shoot you down after you burned down his home and killed his family. He´d love to see you say that shit to his face. Wow, I am actually growing attached to this child. The thought of her death makes me sad. Even if it is *completely* deserved retribution for her monstrous actions in Dorne. I do not care about morals anyway. I ain´t letting her die. The Dornish can cry me the whole Rhoynar river. Rhaenys is living. But also, no incest bro. I´m not into that shit. Let me have a wholesome relationship with my sister. Even professional war criminals can have positive social relations

''Really ?'' I said with a sarcastic tone ''Is that why you woke up screaming in the middle of the night yesterday when I told you about Lord Dracula yesterday ?'' She looked away with embarrassment ''That was different little brother, what you told me happened to Lady Lucy was awful !''

''Then maybe i shouldn´t tell you any stories anymore, you just can´t handle them'' Rhaenys narrowed her eyes ''I can ! Tell me the story , I´m not afraid !''

I shrugged ''This story was collected by a very famous essosi man who came to Westeros and studied in the Citadel. He was named Matthew of the noble house Patrick. Though his friends named him Matpat.''

Rhaenys nodded ''Yes, yes get on with it!'' Stop being a Zoomer and have some patience Rhaenys. ''It starts in a Braavosi Inn made especially for families. It was famous for having entertainers wear these huge metal armor that looked like animals. There was armor for a fox, a bunny, a bear, and a chicken. These entertainers would then go on singing for kids like us.''

Rhaenys giggled ''I´d like to see this place! It seems nice !'' I made my voice super serious for dramatic effect. ''One day, one of the owners of the Inn. A noble named William of the House Afton. Lured five children away from their parents and had them killed. Afterwards, he stuffed their bodies on the metal armors.''

Rhaenys gasped ''That is awful! Was he caught !''

I shook my head. ''He was not, and he continued his murder sprees...the souls of the children he killed, however, continued to chase him down for years. Eventually, they managed to corner him.'' Rhaenys smirked ''They killed him right ?''

I laughed bitterly. If only

''Well yes, but actually no.''

Rhaenys frowned. ''That doesn´t make sense.''

''Just know this Rhaenys, he always comes back. And he is hunting down children to this day....'' I smirked ''Maybe he´s coming after you next ?''

She scoffed ''No He´s not ...'' She looked at me in the eyes ''He´s not right ?''

I tried looking smug ''Who knows? Anyway, do you want another story ?''

She looked around for a bit, especially at the window and the door. ''Sureeee...just one more.''

''Well , it begins with a guy named Victor Frankenstein....''

I rambled for over an hour the entire plot of Frankenstein. But Rhaenys fell asleep while I was telling the story. Scamp. I blew the candle, put a pillow beneath her head and quiet slipped off the bed. See , i am capable of being nice every once in a while.

I mostly sat there in the dark having my own internal monologues with the voices in my head. No , i am not deranged or schizofrenic. Violent Daeron and Jerk/Selfish Daeron were bored , and they are the two dominant aspects of my personality. Horny Daeron has gone MIA ever since i was reborn. The only time I can remember getting horny is for that Dornish woman in the stepstones , and that was only because she was Hot AF. That is strange, I remember being a horny teen before death. Either the incest on the back of my mind has completely burned out my sex drive even for women who aren´t my siblings, or i just need to get into the teenage years before horny levels go up.

We all know it´s the second, let´s be honest. I am a Targ, i will look good once i grow up , you can bet your ass I´m clapping cheeks.

But between Women and war crimes? War crimes. Always. Girls are temporary, they age and die.

War crimes are eternally remembered in history.

...

Rhaenys and i were woken up by the sound of the door being opened. My father entered with a harsh expression. ''Rhaenys. Daeron.'' He said drily.

''Father !'' Rhaenys said giggling, she jumped on Aerion and hugged him. It took her precisely three seconds to make my father smile instead of scowl.

''I should be cross with you Rhaenys...'' He said trying to be angry at her, but she just smiled cutely at him and Aerion sighed ''Oh daughter. I had hoped you and your brother had learned your lesson. But it seems that the fire in your dragon-blood runs too hot to be tempered.'' He ruffled Rhaenys´s hair gently. Aerion was almost in another universe playing with his daughter.

''Father,'' I said snapping him out of his mood. ''Why are you here? Is our punishment done ?''

Aerion grinned ''Why? Well, to witness your elder siblings´ wedding of course! Some day you and Rhaenys will have one just like it my little dragon.''

Oh.

This is good.

I get to laugh at Aegon.

...

The wedding was a private affair. Visenya and Aerion insisted on a Valyrian ceremony, whilst Valaena insisted on an Andal one. A compromise was struck , double ceremony , first Valyrian , and then an Andal one in front of all the Targaryen Vassals after our trip to Oldtown.

Aerion and Valaena stood next to one another, while I stood right beside Rhaenys. Our parents both looked overjoyed. Even Valaena , who despite hating incest can´t exactly help but feel something good in the wedding of her son and daughter. It is a milestone in their lives after all.

You know who did not look anywhere near as pleased? The groom and the bride.

Aegon wore a robe that was colored purple with some dragon embroidery. He looked bored and annoyed. He even gave me a resentful glance or two but said nothing as he walked towards the Altar where a chalice was full of wine.

Yeah bro , i am not feeling bad for not being the one that steps on that bear trap. Not my problem or responsibility, deal with it Aegon.

Visenya came in from the other side of the room. She looked grim and serious, looking Aegon straight in the eyes as if he were an enemy that needed to be defeated. For his credit, Aegon did not look intimidated. His look was that of someone who is tired of dealing with crap. Visenya wore a dress, a very rare sight for her, and that weird thing on her head that Rhaenyra also wore on her marriage to Daemon. I´m sure there´s a name for it , but i ain´t no fashion or marriage expert, so I don´t know it.

''When it´s our turn'' Rhaenys whispered in my ear ''I want you to come more willing then...this...or at least fake it. For me ?''

''No'' I whispered back. Rhaenys impulsively stepped on my toe as petty revenge. If I had less pain resistance, I could have made a scene here and ruined the entire wedding even more. But I held it in. Rhaenys thinks she can attack me without consequences? Bah, I will repay this treacherous attack one thousand times over.

Aegon and Visenya Held hands and spoke in unison the words. ''You are mine and i am yours.'' They drank from the wine cup ''Now we are united by blood , fire and love.''

Their voices were as monotone as that of an AI and as dry as the sahara desert. Really feeling the love.

They then did the briefest most awkward kiss i´ve seen in my life and walked off to the bedchambers where the consumation is supposed to happen. The level of just rushing through things that is happening here cannot be understated, they are treating this as if it were a checklist. It´s hilarious.

''Have fun Aegon,'' I whispered when he passed by me. Aegon looked back at me and muttered ''Ass.''

Visenya and Aegon shut the door to the bedchambers so hard I thought it was going to break.

I wasn´t in Aegon´s head , so i can´t say if he had fun. But i can say he had an all-out brawl instead of sex. Bite marks and scratch marks the whole deal. I am quite sure i saw the mark of just a punch as well on his face the following day. They were also...loud. But not in *that* way , no , they were loud in their whinings at each other. These Westerosi 13-year-olds do be acting up.

Oh well , i am sure that will be a very prosperous and compatible marriage and that House Targaryen will be in good hands under the future command of Maegor since he will be the firstborn. Although Aegon might also give him attention this time , might pan out to be a different person when his only influence isn´t just Visenya.

To Oldtown we go now ! I am sure Aegon will see all the shiny things that the mainland of Westeros has and decide: ''Wouldn´t it be nice if they were mine?'' And i am totally cool with helping him on the smash-and-grab that is the conquest. I cannot *wait* for it. So many war crimes that I can taste them...

They taste like chocolate!

Chapter Text

News flash: I am not a good long-term planner, nor any sort of intelligent mastermind.

Quite the opposite in fact, I am extremely impulsive and I'd consider about in the middle of the intelligence road. I am not retarted, but I am not Einstein come again to bring the theory of relativity into the Asoiaf world. The only thing i am seriously providing here is fire, blood, and war crimes. With a smidge of basic hygiene of course. Wash your hands kids, it´s of the utmost importance to be clean at all times.

These traits of mine meant I was never really a big fan of chess despite being somewhat nerdy in my first life. I was the type of guy to sacrifice the queen to kill a pawn by accident. Look, if it is not meant to be killed, then why is it so exposed? I know it´s a trap....but I *need* it! My best plays in chess were near-suicidal gambits that worked because the opponent just wasn´t ready for it, i would continue attacking even if my defenses were collapsing. Tunnel vision is a bitch.

Though I will admit, the most fun parts of chess were when i stumbled into a good play , i would have the whole smug ''All according to plan'' attitude in order to make my opponent mad, despite it really not being planned at all.

Why do i mention this you might ask? Simple. These are my mental excuses, created in order to protect my pride , for getting absolutely destroyed by Aegon in Cyvasse. I might have the body of an 8-year-old, but my mind is almost that of a young adult, I should not be getting clapped this hard by a child. I even have Rhaenys for moral support.

We are on a ship that my father hired to take us to Oldtown. It is *big*. Each of us has a cabin to sleep in and there is also a table where we can eat together. Rhaenys had been devastated when informed that, no, we cannot simply get on our dragons and fly our way there. For the obvious reason that other houses and cities aren´t exactly equipped to deal with them, might piss them off, and then Vhagar might decide that this place smells too Dornish for her taste and needs to get roasted like chicken. On the upside, no one in my family dealt with seasickness. The Velaryon genes are strong.

Unfortunately, there just isn´t a whole lot to do here besides playing Cyvasse. Rhaenys and I thought that if we jumped Aegon together, we´d stand a chance.

We do not, and my pride is hurting.

''Move the catapult Daeron!'' Rhaenys whispered on my ear ''We´ll get his elephant !''

I looked at the board and sighed ''But then his crossbowmen will have the catapult surrounded.''

She blinked and saw it on the board. ''Oh.''

I narrowed my eyes at Aegon, who, despite his efforts at being stone-faced, had a small smirk creeping up on his face. This must be his revenge for the small mocking of him I did during his wedding. Fair game man.

Still irks me.

''Rhaenys.'' I said with a slightly deranged tone ''Have faith in the plan.''

She frowned ''Plan? We have a plan ?''

I moved my rabble and crossbowmen right to a spot where they would get completely slaughtered by Aegon´s elephant. He looked for only a second before looking me in the eye, shaking his head and snickering. He moved the elephant and killed the pieces I moved

''What are you doing Daeron ?'' Rhaenys said to me with a confused tone ''You just gave him a third of our pieces !''

I put a finger on her lips ''Have some *faith* Rhaenys.''-Daeron plan der Linde

Now that my rabble and crossbowmen had been killed, I had an open path for my dragon that had been, tragically, stuck in the backline. I had him swallow the elephant whole. Rhaenys giggled with wicked delight and had a cocky smirk on her face ''Yes!'' she said looking straight at Aegon, who could not look more unbothered. But then again, that is just kind of his average facial expression.

Aegon moved some pieces, trying to make some form of a defensive position , but my dragon stomped all over his pieces, it didn´t matter what it was , taking down a Dragon in Cyvasse can only be done by surrounding it completely, by another Dragon or by catapults.

Rhaenys puffed her chest, full of pride. ''You of all people should know that a Dragon always wins Aegon !'' Aegon laughed and smiled with happiness. It is rare for him to do that, he´s not depressed or anything, he´s just kinda quiet all the time. Rhaenys is one of the few people who can break his moods, Orys being the other.

''Always ?'' He asked mockingly

''Yes,'' She replied ''Always, isn´t that right Daeron ?''

''No. I heard they can get killed if an iron bolt hits them in the eye.''

''Please'' Rhaenys waved dismissively ''What are the odds of that happening ?''

Oh poor poor Rhaenys. Does your question account for dornish plot armor or not? It´s what defines whether you are allowed to be intelligent, or just a jobber the second you step foot on Dorne.

Aegon shrugged ''I am not sure what the odds of a dragon getting shot in the eye are. But I *am* sure that *your* dragon is dead.'' He moved his catapult. That´s ok i´ll just move ba-

I´m surrounded.

F in the chat.

How did I not see it coming again? It´s a really obvious trap now that I see it sprung.

Tunnel vision

Is a bitch.

''Oh.'' I managed to mutter out. While Rhaenys crossed her arms and huffed ''This game is boring. A real Dragon would never get shot down by a measly catapult. NOT FAIR. Daeron and I always Lose !''

Aegon chuckled a bit ''Keep practicing then. And do remember that not even dragons are invincible. Have you forgotten about Garin the Great? He killed three of them using Rhoynar water magic.''

Rhaenys muttered angrily ''I am not stupid, I know about Garin. But Rhoynar magic is long gone and there is nothing in this world that can take down a Dragon!''

Oh, the irony. It is enough to make a theatrical play off of it. Where is Aeschylus when you need him? I could use a playwriter right about now. Aegon looked a bit more serious now ''No Rhaenys. Dragons are not answers to everything, just as I disagree with Senya saying we are above all others, I cannot agree with you that Dragons solve all problems. It is part of why i wanted to go Oldtown in the first place.''

Aegon continued with a bit more passion now ''I love our Dragonstone more as much as father. But it is no great prize let us not lie to ourselves. It is dreary and poor. If we are as superior as Visenya says, why do these Andals rule Kingdoms that are larger, wealthier, and more fertile than our little island? And do not get me started on Essos and Valyria. The freehold is dead. And when it was alive it took hundreds of dragons, all larger than ours, to be forged. I will tell you what Dragonstone and Valyria are, they are prisons. Prisons that keep us from trying something *new*. Our dragons might not solve all issues, but they are an advantage that we hold over all other houses. I say we *use* them. I do not want to be forgotten after my death. I want to do something great. I might not know clearly what that thing will be, but I will find it. And that is why I wanted to go to Oldtown Rhaenys, it is the heart of Westeros. And if these Westerosi kingdoms are as wealthy as they are, they must be doing *something* right. The free cities drown themselves in blood, slavery, and intrigues, hardly something to appreciate.''

Rhaenys blinked. Not really expecting Aegon to drop a speech as a response to a single sentence about Dragons being invincible. ''I...uhm...I will always try and help you brother...even if i don´t really understand what you mean.'' Aegon smiled and put a hand in her shoulder ''Thank you Rhaenys.''

''Aegon , brother.'' I said cheerfully ''You are completely right !''

He seemed surprised ''Y-you think so ?''

''Yes , totally , completely , i think we should do exactly what you say.''

He seemed pleased.''Thank you Daeron. It is quite ...reassuring that you and Rhaenys aren´t against my ideas...i am a bit....unsure of them .... but i also feel as if i am right. Something tells me that i am right. When i am Lord of Dragonstone, the four remembered forever.'' He laughed ''Forever! The maesters will have to write down about *us* haha.''

That is one of the great perks of the conquest.

Besides the war crimes (main perk of course) I get to become a historical figure in Westeros. So i get to become a school (Maester) subject...oh yes, it would be wonderful. So many children having nightmares about their tests on the subject of Daeron the glorious, or Daeron the conqueror, or whatever title they give me by the end of this.

Chapter Text

I have the weirdest dreams man, I listen to all these damned eldritch abominations in them. Maybe it´s some form of entity, trying to contact me and warn me of the incoming long night. But I wouldn´t stress too much about it, Arya Stark will hit the night king once and he´ll crumble faster than Megamind 2´s ratings. If I am living in Book Canon, the others are a fucking joke. Euron Greyjoy showed up on book 4 and in his first and only appearance Sent Asha to the north where she is captured by Stannis and meets up with Theon, Sends Victarion to Dany, and redirects the Ironborn to the Reach. The others have been getting built up for 20 years and 5 books and they have...killed Waymar Royce. And even then, Royce dunked on them with his ''Dance with me then'' line. The others are a Joke and i am not scared of them, dumbass ice elves can catch some hands if they try anything funny.

So, Cthulhu or whoever the fuck it is: SHUT UP AND LET ME SLEEP, MAN! Do you think it´s easy to remain in Peak war criminal performance at all times?...oh good lord i just admitted to myself that I have *voices* in my head...I am perfectly stable and my brain functions are in the right place. Aerys just didn´t know how to properly micromanage the voices in his head...ANYWAY. Eldritch abominations that haunt my dreams, don´t make me go down to whichever abyss it is you guys are hiding in, or else you will *fucking regret it*. Are we clear? We best be. I´m the guy that slaps the sleep paralysis Demon when he pops up, do not test me.

I seriously need some fooking sleep man...my little child body requires it...i shifted in my bed , determined to sleep through the whole morning and afternoon if possible.

Our ship went at a fast pace and we made no stops at all. Though I will admit that seeing the stepstones again (It was on the path from Dragonstone to Oldtown) was bizarrely amusing. I saw Lysandro Saan´s ships in the docks, even if I didn´t see the Stoner himself. I still have some of his drugs here with me...I haven´t smoked them at all, and I hope I never do. Being a war criminal is right and fair for a Targaryen and a half-Serb, but being a Stoner is a recipe for ending up as Aerion Brightflame, and I do not intend to burn alive. I hope to die either in the back of Shrykos, burning innocent cities, or in bed with a gallon of alcohol and a *hot* woman by my side. Either one of these works. Although I must admit that Horny Daeron needs to up his game, I have barely felt his existence in the last few years.

Now that I think about it, my entire bloodline was made up of war criminals from the Start. I had a Mom born in soviet Russia and a Serbian Dad, now I am reborn as a Targaryen. So in both cases, I can boast that ''My father was a war criminal.''

I´m just keeping the tradition alive fellas, it would be cultural erasure to hamper me or to put obstacles in my path of absolute destruction. I was quite literally born for this, every cell and gene in my body is one of War criminals, I will reach the top of the hill, the hill of atrocities, I will climb through bodies and blood and ash, to claim my rightful spot as lord of all War crimes, and make my father proud.

I sensed a disturbance in the force. The opening of my door. A red spy is in the base. I must pretend to be asleep until this demonic creature goes away. I slow down my breathing and stay as still as possible. Hoping that I have achieved a Varys level mummery, that will deceive this cowardly and treacherous attacker.

I hear the enemy´s footsteps. He is tiptoeing, and doing a piss poor job at it. He has approached me. I feel gentle and smooth hands touch my face, in a failed attempt at making me budge.

''Dae , Dae wake up.'' The voice is a whisper, Rhaenys. I am immediately infuriated that she dares to address me as ''Dae.'' When she knows I do not like it. In fact, she is the only one who tries and use ''Nicknames.'' Visenya does not like it, and neither does Aegon. Only Rhaenys. Her attempts at cramming it down on the rest of our family have been successfully repelled many times over , but she is nothing but persistent and continues her attacks. The proper way to address me is as ''Daeron, the magnificent, the mighty, the terrible, the stupendous, the greatest of calamities and god emperor of all War criminals.''

Anything else is just flat out disrespectful to me and my entire culture , with death serving as a suitable and proportionate punishment for the offender.

i hear her sigh of annoyance ''I know you are awake Daeron.''

I remain unmoved.

She growled ''Don´t make me force you to move.''

I remain unmoved.

''You asked for this !'' She says with vicious glee.

Rhaenys tickled me.

What a horrible Violation of my human rights.

''STOOOOPPPPPP'' I Cry out while trying my hardest to catch my breath and protect myself from her tickling. In my desperate movements and squirming , i fall down from the bed and hit the ground hard while clutching my blankets. Rhaenys gasped. ''Oh, I am sorry I didn´t mean to hurt you brother!'' I am so fucking dizzy.

I hate you Rhaenys.

I see her cute concerned expression for me.

I don´t hate you anymore Rhaenys. You are just too damn *CUTE* and i kinda wanna hug you.

In a normal sibling way of course. No Targcest.

''Well Rhaenys'' I say with bitter resentment ''You dragged me from my sleep. What is it you want from me exactly ?'' She takes my hand and helps me get up. ''Mother told me to wake you up, Oldtown is in sight brother! Everyone is at the deck, looking at it.''

Oh... i guess that makes sense.

''fine...'' I whine before following her.

Aegon was putting his feet in the prow and crossing his arms as if he were a statue of Cristopher Colombus or some shit. Visenya didn´t really seem very interested, my dad seemed happy enough and Valaena seemed thrilled. ''Sweetling !'' She said while looking at me ''Look! It´s the Hightower! Isn´t it beautiful ?!''

Oldtown is actually built on a river. This means you can reasonably sail to a good chunk of the city , there are also a bunch of islands here. On one of them is the citadel, or another the Starry sept and there is also the Lord´s castle. Oldtown is different from everywhere else because well... it´s a functional city to begin with, and it´s built in Stone. Big difference.

The middlemost of these Islands holds the Hightower itself. I´d just like to point out the lack of orginality here. House Hightower and Hightower with the Tower as their Banner. Really? Couldn´t have done better then that ? The tower itself is cool i guess. It´s flame is light up green when Oldtown goes to war. But i also just don´t find architecture particularly interesting unless it´s the Dragon stuff we have at home, or if it´s getting burned by Shrykos.

''We should have a banner,'' Aegon said while Staring at the Hightower. Visenya scoffed ''Why? Why do you want to be like these Andals so much brother? What would it even look like? We have no need of some cloth piece. Our Banners are Balerion, Vhagar , Meraxes and Shrykos. Men look at them and know who they are fighting for or against.''

Aegon Bristled. ''Visenya. It is not so simple...i would want our banner to be a four-headed Dragon! For the four of us.''

''That´s stupid,'' Rhaenys said. ''Dragons only have one head.'' Aerion chuckled ''I am sorry child, but it is quite unusual...''

Aegon shrinks and muttered ''I think it would look nice...and it conveys a nice message...''

''Well Brother , i agree! Make the dragon red and put it in a Black field! It would look simply fantastic !''

Aegon smiled cautiously and then looked at me ''Well uhm...Thank you Daeron...'' He then turned away and muttered ''Daeron agrees with me...but everyone else does not...is that a good sign or a bad sign...?''

Jerk. Do you think i can´t listen?

Anyways. We are at the Oldtown now, sweet.

I wanna burn down the Citadel. No , i don´t believe in the Maester conspiracy , i just really don´t like Maesters and want them fed to my dragon.

Chapter Text

I will make my way through the gates of hell, against the enemy lines of education and tutoring.

My weapons? Stupidity, narrow-mindedness, laziness, and old grudges, resentments and prejudices that support my campaign against schools, for every fact a reply of ''That´s worthless for real life'' for every exercise a ''I would just google it'' and for every new theory or position that contradicts my own I shall deploy my misinformation and gaslighting to avoid the actual topic of conversation at hand and propel easily repeatable half-truths that make sense out of context or using shower level logic to obfuscate, contest and eventually remove from public sight, the truth. That and crying wolf at every turn, making public debate impossible and instead transforming it into some form of shouting competition between children where vague and undefined terms get thrown around despite having nothing to do with the topic of hand and bringing nothing to the conversation besides tribalism.

Unfortunately, the conclave of teachers and educators have managed to slip by these methods of suppression by using their natural habitats, Schools, and libraries. This cannot be tolerated. The oppressive nature of forced learning with its lackeys, textbooks, and tests, captures the time of students with annoying factoids that I could not care less about and simply can´t be bothered to remember after the exams.

Thankfully, we have a solution for that

Fire.

Look. I might have enjoyed (Still do) reading and learning. But only when i read and learn by my own volition in my own time about the subjects that i have chosen. Not about the subjects that the schools chose for me. Being forced to do something Low-key makes me want to do it less, even if it is an activity that i originally wanted to do and actively enjoy under normal circumstances.

Also, the way schools teach subjects like math and History is downright awful. History gets taught from the perspective of faceless nobodies and third person narrators that the student has no attachment to. If you teach History like a *story* with the people living at the time as it´s characters, it actually becomes interesting and makes people want to know more about it. Likewise, Math is a sort of game, learn the rules and play. Practice to get better, not whatever abomination and monstrosity that is taught.

This all culminates to me entering the cavern and lair of some of my greatest Westerosi enemies: The maesters of the Citadel. I do not believe they have any conspiracy against the Targaryen rule, or that they hold any sway over the death of magic. No. I think Maesters are just idiots with a stick up their ass and a massive pride-fueled superiority complex despite having no achievements to back it up. For fuck´s sake, the Citadel is supposedly millennia old and these motherfuckers haven´t figured out that washing your hands helps against illness? oh yeah Maester, a woman having septic shock during childbirth is clearly just hysteria , ain´t got nothing to do with the filth you´re introducing in her body

Are you telling me these cretins supposedly have a massive century-long conspiracy and compact that influences every aspect of Westerosi life? These guys? I could put a hundred maesters in a room and they´d fail to remove a lightbulb even if I gave them a hundred years to learn it. ''MaGiC IS dEaD'' Yeah jackass, tell that to Thoros of Myr literally holding his flaming sword right in front of you, tell that to the summer islanders who live off of brothels and fucking and yet catch no STDs.

In other words. I am coming to the Citadel, with the sole intention of starting a fire here out of pettiness and revenge. I hate maesters, I hate their classes, and i want to hit them in the balls, right where it hurts. Unfortunately... I am a little kid, so my options are quite...limited. But I will think of something

Thankfully for my plans, Aegon was also quite interested in coming to the Citadel. He also wants to speak with fellow noble heirs and to see lord Hightower hold court like the boring nerd he is. Rhaenys is more interested in an upcoming Tourney and ball that is coming, while Visenya simply does not want to be here. Though, amusingly, my mother will force her to go to the Starry sept. What an adequate place for my Valyrian supremacist sister. I wonder how that will go, certainly not worse than her marriage with Aegon, they have slept together zero times after the wedding night.

The entrance to the Citadel is a very...odd place. The gates are flanked by a pair of green sphinxes with the wings of a bird, the body of a Lion, and the tail of a scorpion. One of the Sphinxes has the face of a man and the other of a woman.

Aegon and i came ''Alone'' (As in no family members, we have an escort to protect us as Highborns. They aren´t allowed inside the Citadel as weapons are forbidden, but they will pretty much wait here in these gates until Aegon and i decide we want to go to the apartment my father has found for us. Inside the Citadel we are safe, it´s essentially a public library in some spots. Not exactly dangerous.) No other member of the family showed any interest in coming here. At all.

''Why do they put these things anyway ?'' I asked Aegon , who shrugged before replying

''How am i to know? '' He then looked at me with slight exasperation ''Why are you coming here with me Daeron? What book are you even looking for?''

Ass. Don´t worry Aegon, my goals are beyond your comprehension.

''I am here to read about...The Ironborn.'' They are the only group in Westeros that does destruction for destruction´s sake, so I think it fits my real objective

He seemed surprised ''The Ironborn ?..... i suppose it could be interesting...I will study law brother. Laws of the reach and other Kingdoms. We had a few books in Dragonstone about them, but Father threw it all away to make space for his Valyrian scrolls...i am very curious about how these realms organize themselves...The Ironborn are a part of Westeros and they must have done something right to wield as much power as they do despite coming from a pile of rocks....'' He thought for a bit ''Yes...yes share it all with me afterward.''

Greedy cunt. Also nerdy cunt. Still feel mild affection for him though, Aegon cares more about people than he lets on. Rhaenys is the best one of us when it comes to making him happy, but that´s hardly a surprise. Her competition is: Me (Deranged), Visenya (Visenya), and Orys (An extremely chill guy and Aegon´s best friend, also he isn´t cute like Rhaenys.)

But still, Aegon my boy. You are too young to like studying *law*. I liked history at age 13, don´t get me wrong, Caesar was my fav for his atrocities in Gaul and generally Baddass lines. I mean, shit like ''I came, I saw, I conquered'', ''The enemy would have won today were they commanded by a winner'' and ''The die is cast'' hit hard as fuck even without proper context. I also understand that Westerosi kids age faster then our modern children, Robb fought a war and was a decent king at age 14 , Dany´s entire storyline takes place when she is 13 (Aegon´s age now) and my brother is already wedded and bedded.

That does not make it less Jarring to hear a child say ''I want to study laws and understand how the Kingdoms are structured.''

Weirdo.

Right after the Gates , we saw the scribe´s hearth. It´s a weird place thing...it´s hard to describe. In essence, the denizens of Oldtown come here to hire Scribes to read or write papers for them. Each scribe sets up their own ''tent'' and the customers choose which one they want. It is sort of like a university side gig for the acolytes and students of the citadel, simply an easy way to earn cash on the side without it being overwhelming for their studies.

Aegon and I are highborn , we have a proper education and we know how to read and write, so these guys are completely worthless for us. Aegon didn´t even turn to look at them. My guy just pretended they were not there.

Next came what was probably the most entertaining part of the citadel though Aegon, again, just ignored it and kept going. The seneschal´s court. Now, the titular ''Seneschal'' is sorta like a president. He is elected by the folk from around here and he administrates the more practical aspects of the Citadel. That´s the not cool part , the cool part is that he also administrates punishments to the Acolytes who commit petty crimes like stealing books. What makes it cool is the *aesthetic* the Seneschal has this almost comically generic mask that he wears. It´s the type of thing you see in cartoons when they have rich people dance. I got lucky and managed to catch a glimpse of a trial, and the Seneschal sitting on a big throne while also being as fat as Wyman Manderly almost made me snort. Thankfully, the Acolyte was punished with a month of forced labor for his thievery. So he can go fuck himself. I don´t care.

Finally, we reached the library, and holy shit this place is big.

Martin does not understand how proportions work or anything like that, so for him, the Wall being as tall as the Eiffel Tower (Yet somehow the Wildlings still hit it with Arrows, gigachad Tormund) is somehow completely fine. Or Pyke´s towers existing despite all the Erosion, the Eyrie is peak fantasy , and Winterfell is fucking enormous yet somehow only has a garrison of 100 hundred and is subdued by Theon Greyjoy, who shouldn´t even be able to throw his ropes high enough to climb the walls considering how absurdly tall they are.

There are so many rows and rows of Bookshelves, all extremely tall , there is only one Window (Very big one however) with a mosaic in the form of the symbol of the faith. It was a labyrinth. And I do not mean it figuratively, it was large with multiple paths that mostly looked the same. The only saving grace is that the Bookshelves were organized in alphabetical order, meaning that you could use that information to locate yourself in the endless turns and tomes of this blasted place.

There were also some tables to sit down and read.

Now, to borrow books we´d need to speak with the Acolyte that runs this library. Aegon however is fine to only read stuff here, no need for communications. He picked something boring about the Reach while i picked up something about the pirate folk. I am not really that interested in reading...i just need a time skip for my plot to come to fruition... you shall see.

We sat down at a table alongside some other people reading. Most were Maesters , Acolytes or students/Novices. Though a very small amount of them were noblemen and i saw a couple of Lowborns, likely wealthy merchants, reading as well.

''This is interesting...'' Aegon said in a low voice ''Most of the Kingdoms simply use the andal laws as they are recorded here in Oldtown...Every form of precedent and every written law is recorded here and only here....except the North, Dorne, and the Iron Islands...'' His face scrunched up in annoyance ''I do not like how much power each lord has over their own lands. Each lord has their own currency here in the reach...can you believe it Daeron? Imagine if Uncle Daemon had his own coin. I think a Kingdom should be more united than that... wouldn´t it be better for everyone ?''

I had to suppress my snickering. Really my guy? this early on and you already think that way? At least he hasn´t plotted the conquest yet. Not that i am against it in any way, go for it Aegon. I´m with ya.

''The lords themselves would not enjoy losing power would they ?''

He sighed ''True...but...should that stand in the way of prosperity ?''

I shrugged ''I don´t know. The pirates i´ve been reading about certainly don´t agree with you. Every captain does what he wants and they want to loot and sack. The Ironborn used to elect their own leaders until someone named Urron Redhand killed all the other candidates and proclaimed himself king.''

''Electing their own king ?'' Aegon frowned ''That is quite interesting. But I do not like it. Not one bit.''

I wonder why Aegon, i really do wonder why. Power hungry fella.

He looked at the book again ''Each kingdom has something the other needs... what would happen if all of them were united ?'' He said it in the most casual tone i have ever heard. Just shooting some ideas at a friend.

''The Riverlands would burn. It is what they always do. Besides that, someone would need to take all seven. Who would be willing to do that ?''

I saw some ambition flicker in his eyes and i could almost feel the greed coming out from Aegon. ''Yes...who ?'' he said it softly with narrowed eyes. Before turning his gaze back to his book.

We stayed there all afternoon and into the night. At some point , we were provided with some candles to continue reading...Most of the other people reading had also left at this point.

Alright.

Time to strike.

''I just wanna burn this place down'' - Osama bin Daeron.

''Aegon'' I said while getting up, holding the candle in one hand and the book in another ''I think i am going to put this back in it´s place allright ?''

''Hmm'' was the only sound he made. Too focused on his own reading to pay attention to me. Nerdy cunt....but his cuntiness will be good right about now.

I walked through the Labyrinth that is this library. I made sure to count my steps and all that , i will need to make my way out as soon as i get done with this funny business.

I eventually found a secluded part of it...no one is looking at me...

Absolutely perfect !

I approach one of the bookshelves and put the candle´s flame on one of the books...for long enough that the fire will grow instead of die but not so long that I will be implicated. I want this fire to spread when I am far away from here.

I do start burning a few other books as well , just to make sure. Insurance is good and all.

Afterwards i run back to where Aegon is reading and very kindly force him to move his ass and to not put his book back in it´s shelve ,just saying that someone else will take care of it.

Oh man. I doubt the fire will spread very far...but that doesn´t mean a man can´t dream.

Chapter Text

Family dinners.

Strange and weird things , they can be good but they can also be awful. In my first life, they were GREAT! my mom would tell me stories of her father who fought against the Nazis in Stalingrad and my Grandmother who was part of the so-called ''Night Witches'' an all-female air battalion of the USSR. My father would tell me the most...entertaining...stories about his youth as a Serbian soldier, doing Serbian things in Kosovo. My new family is also quite unhinged, but eating spaghetti while my original dad Ranted on Serbian nationalism and some very....*unique*...ideas about other Balkan countries was certainly something. I don´t think the Targaryens can really top it, even if they try.

We had this big table to eat in, Lord Manfred Hightower had given my father a fabulous apartment to stay during our visit here to Oldtown. We also get to eat whatever we want because Oldtown has literally anything and everything that belongs to Planetos. Visenya decided to eat meat while drinking Wine because oh yeah , as soon as you flower you are considered an adult woman and can drink as much as you want. Rhaenys chose some mixture of abominations that looked like Veggies mixed up with Essosi cuisine and some Dornish spices, she likes to be diverse I guess. She drank Orange juice.

Aegon literally had a loaf of bread and water.

Why?

I had *fish* because fish is great, and afterward I will have some glorious *COFFEE* to satisfy my caffeine addiction that had gone 8 years without being satisfied. Coffee is rare in Westeros, but common in the Summer Islands, and Oldtown is wealthy enough to have summer islander commodities as an available product. It disgusts me that Westerosi nobility has not popularized Coffee in any significant way, the bunch of idiotic morons. I will conquer the Summer Islands and make it my personal fief , from where I will utilize Sixteenth-century colonialist plantation/ Encomienda systems to maximize the production of Coffee. I fucking need that black liquid running down my throat. There are very few things as satisfying as the fragrance of black coffee...and I do mean the song as well. It slaps.

But then again, that implies racism and slavery.

I can bend my moral compass pretty far, but Slavery is where I draw the line. Racism too, though that is because in my opinion, being white or black at birth doesn´t matter. Once Shrykos sets you on fire, you will turn to a very dark shade of black. So skin color does not matter in the slightest for me.

Really...I think i need some chill time. After burning down the citadel, a day or two of taking naps would be good. I miss Shrykos, flying is a satisfactory way to pass time and can be quite introspective as well. It certainly makes me happy.

I stab my food with the little dagger thing that we use here in Westeros. Millenias have passed where this continent is in its medieval era, yet they are still unable to grasp the concept of Forks and Spoons. For Westerosi, you either use a Dagger or you eat with your hands. No compromise allowed. Idiots.

''Did any of you hear about the fire at the Citadel ?'' Rhaenys asked softly. ''I was so sad when I heard about it. A third of the library was burned and 12 maesters died by jumping in the flames to save their works! How awful, who would do something like that !''

Yes. Who.

(There is an impostor among us.)

Also, I am very disappointed.

Only 12?

I wished to rid myself of at least 20 of those grey rats. But alas, it is not a total loss. 12 Casualties have been inflicted on enemy forces, and a third of their precious (and almost non-existent) Knowledge has been destroyed. I must continue my campaign against these idiots , I shall bring fire and blood to Oldtown with Shrykos whenever I get the chance.

''Yes Rhaenys. A horrible tragedy.'' I said drily.

Visenya scoffed but then smirked looking right at me. ''I´d call it a good deed. These Maesters never knew much of anything anyway.'' She then winked at me with a happy expression.

Why is it that Visenya is the only one that approves of my actions at all times? That is quite disturbing for me.

Almost as disturbing as the fact that I have a literal police state watching me at all times. I should probably find a way to deal with that. Seriously, it is uncomfortable and it breaks all trust and privacy.

''They knew more than you'' Aegon said drily. But Visenya narrowed her eyes

''Do not speak while Chewing.''

Aegon Bristled ''Sis-''

''Sit up straight. I will not have you be a hunchback.''

He looked annoyed now ''Vise-''

''What did I just tell you about speaking while Chewing ?''

Aegon couldn´t be bothered to reply anymore. He just walked away. What a lovely couple of husband and wife.

''Daughter'' my mother said ''You should not be so hard on him.''

VIsenya frowned ''I was merely giving him good counsel. I am both his wife and his sister, that is my duty.''

Valaena sighed. ''Visenya...I understand what you mean, I truly do. But you need to have more...uhm...gentleness... when doing it. Otherwise, you will simply offend his pride.''

My sister seemed frustrated with that idea.My mother sighed again, this time looking as if she was anticipating a fight. ''We will visit the Starry sept .''

''NO !'' Visenya said with a pout. ''I won´t do it !'' Rhaenys was the smarter of us all and quietly slipped out of the room. Probably following Aegon. He had a horse ride arranged with some fellow noble children. BORING !.

Valaena hardened her tone now ''You will. Do not act like a brat or I shall discipline you.''

Visenya crossed her arms and made some angry noises of frustration. ''I understand mother.'' She turned her gaze to me.''Daeron. You come too.''

''Me ?'' I said in confusion

''You.''

''Why ?''

''Because I said so.''

...Well...can´t argue with that logic. And if the satisfied expression that my mother is giving me says anything, that is meant very literally. I cannot argue with it.

...
Westerosi are perverts.

Visenya is 14, in this world she is ''fair game.'' and uhm...she is a Valyrian woman so...people stare. Hard. That is disgusting. Thankfully, however, she is Visenya. So anyone who tries it will regret it. Very hard. Vhagar level hard. Or just getting smashed by her fists.

She keeps me close by at all times. and Whispers in my ear ''Listen Daeron. We are marching into enemy territory. Be polite, be courteous, but only speak when spoken to. Do not initiate conversations, assume all that are not your kin are out to harm you.''

''Yes.'' I replied. I am not particularly thrilled to be here.

She smiled brightly at me.''Exactly. Do everything I tell you to. You always make me proud Daeron. I only want what is best for you, Aegon and Rhaenys, I am the eldest child. Protecting and caring for the three of you is my duty. I wish Aegon could understand that. But i will make him, in due time, and one way or another. You have been wiser than him when it comes to listening to my words and doing as I would have.'' She frowned in annoyance ''Aegon has been so resistant to my teachings that he has found a way to escape my vigilance. It is frustrating, how can I protect him if I don´t know where he is at all times ?''

so it can be done huh...Best find out how

(Daeron will remember that)

The starry sept itself looked...intimidating from the outside. It had the typical seven-pointed star symbol all over the place , boring...

What actually is scary is the bunch of...poor fellows everywhere. The faith militant is still very strong in pre conquest Westeros and I do not like the looks of disgust that they aim at me and Visenya. Even my mother looked a bit taken aback, thankfully we do have an escort to keep us nice and alive. My sister grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me near her. ''Scum.'' I heard her mutter ''Stay near me Daeron.''

Oh well...time to go into the devil´s lair i suppose.

Chapter Text

NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

Not really. In truth, everyone expected the Spanish inquisition. They sent letters out to warn people that they were being investigated, giving them the day they´d be searched, the inquisition required ''hard'' evidence and they gave you a trial. They also refused to investigate people for ''witchcraft''. The official position of the catholic church was that magic came only from God, so witches did not exist. Saying otherwise was, ironically, a crime, and if I came to a member of the Inquisition and said someone was a witch I´d get my ass thrown in a cell for the idiocy. They investigated ''Heresy'' and ''Anti-Christian behavior''. Ironically, witch burnings were more of a thing in England with the so-called ''witch trials'', than in Spain. However, they did happen there as well, despite the church doctrine and even though inquisitors weren´t supposed to do it. But hey , it was illegal. That makes such a big difference...

I say this as I enter the westerosi equivalent of the Vatican. I´m not exactly sure about the Faith´s position when it comes to magic and witchcraft. But I am very doubtful it´s positive, and I´d rather not see Visenya captured and burned at the stake. Burning people is cool and I am a big fan of the inquisition, perhaps I´ll even become a red god fanatic because of it, but I´d rather not see it happen to my own sister. And I mean...Visenya is technically a witch (Although the faith does not have any way of knowing that), she is already incestuous so yeah...if the Faith spends too long with Valyrian supremacist Visenya in their turf, she´s going down. Visenya hasn´t brought Dark Sister to the sept and uhm...well, Vhagar isn´t here either. Right now her only ''defense'' mechanisms are the Escort that mother brought us and the fact she´s a strong girl who hits hard. That is very useful against most people, but I somehow doubt it´ll solo all the poor fellows here, It might though, she is Visenya.

She also is literally forcing me to be near her. Holding me by the shoulder and making sure that I do not stay far away from her. Actual wholesome protective big sister moment. Quite rare.

Mother seems completely oblivious to the Poor fellows around. And just seems to be admiring the inside of the Starry sept. To be fair, the Poor fellows won´t hurt us. While our family´s customs are completely disgusting and repugnant, we are also minor nobility coming from the other side of Westeros and we have literally not said or done anything to provoke them. So thankfully, the faith militant thinks we aren´t worth the trouble yet. Attacking a Lord´s wife and children without any reason is not something that Lord Hightower can even allow to happen inside his own city, there´d be a fight between the faith militant and Lord Manfred. Certain lines just don´t get crossed easily.

The *Starry* sept lived up to it´s name quite well. It has seven walls, but they are all far apart from each other and massive, it has statues of all seven aspects of the Seven and above each of them there is a seven-pointed star. The windows all have some form of little ugly faith decoration thing that celebrates their religion, so drawings or people like Hugor of the Hill or Artos seven star. I really wish Theon Stark was here. He´d eliminate all these fanatics.

''Isn´t it beautiful sweet ones ?'' My mother said with satisfaction while looking at the statues of the seven.

''No.'' Visenya answered drily.

Valaena sighed and looked at me ''And you Daeron, what do you think ?''

''Yes, little brother'' Visenya said while smiling at me. Though the fact she tightened her grip on my shoulder shows that she is not really so satisfied. ''What is it that you think ?''

Why the fuck do people keep throwing me in the middle of things i have nothing to do with? go fight Visenya over this crap. It seems no matter if i´m home or if i am in Westeros, I will somehow be smashed between an immovable object and an unstoppable force. The easiest way out is to be evasive, but unfortunately, mother and Visenya are like dogs with a bone, they never stop. So escaping is just not gonna happen.

''Dragons are better.''

I could feel the smugness coming out from Visenya and she even ruffled my hair, mother looked slightly annoyed with that. ''Yes! Dragons *are* better. Daeron, Aren´t you such a smart little boy ?''

Suddenly an idea hit my mother like lightning. A smirk formed on her lips ''Son , I have been considering places to foster you in. And I believe that right here in Oldtown is simply the best location possible for you to get a proper education...mayhaps you will even fall in love with some Lady and wed her.''

No

NO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Oh wait

Dad is a Valyrian supremacist.

He´s not letting it happen.

Right ?...

Please. No. I can´t have Shrykos here.

Me like flying WMD

''What ?!'' Visenya said ''You can´t send him this far away! How am I supposed to watch over him? My magic doesn´t get that far. Mother you can´t throw Daeron to these...*Andals*''

Why the fuck is the racist the one defending me ?....

Valaena was the one who looked smug now. Good old switcheroo. ''Do not speak of things you do not understand, Daughter. You are too young for such things. I would never allow my son to be somewhere unsafe...''

''Mother. I don´t want to...stay here....can´t I just live in Dragonstone ?... I want my dragon !''

''Sweetling'' She said while kissing my cheek ''You are my second son. Tradition says you ought to be fostered somewhere. I understand that as Dragonlord you like to fly...but it will only be until you are four and ten, and if you stay here you might find other things in life to enjoy...I will make sure that your little sword gets sent here as well...''

''Tradition also says that Daeron is to wed Rhaenys'' Visenya said with annoyance ''Yet you don´t want to uphold that tradition.''

''I don´t want it either. Incest is wrong.''

Visenya lost all the color in her face ''I knew visiting these Andals was an awful idea. They have clearly sunk their claws on you and have begun their manipulation against the family.'' She put both hands on my shoulder, looked me in the eyes and shook me like a ragdool ''THINK Daeron, THINK! THINK of the Bloodline ?! How do you think Rhaenys will feel if you reject her without any reason ?! Would you condemn her to a lesser match ?!''

''yes''

I do hope you kept this attitude in canon when she did the polygamy thing.

''I will not allow this to happen. Father won´t let it either.''

Valaena snickered ''Oh daughter, I have ways of convincing your father. And you have no authority to decide who Daeron weds. I want him fostered here in Oldtown and that is what will happen.''

''Can we please not do that second part Mother? I still want to live at Dragonstone...''

''No.''

Understandable. Have an awful day and hit your pinky toe on a chair.

''Come here children, let us all have some talk with a septon...do not fight it Visenya. Or I will force you to do it.''

Visenya did it , still looking horrified. Girl, incest is not good. Just give up on it. I can hear her muttering and looking at me weird. So I expect plotting. Quaint. Although I do somewhat doubt her ability to actually do anything

Oh well. Time to confess my sins or something like that.

We stayed at the sept for a bit more. It was boring as fuck. Confessions were something I did in my first life as a Christian , but the Septons just repeat the same lines , over and over again , making me wish Shrykos was here so i could burn down this stupid ass sept.

We did end up leaving early when Visenya said some...interesting (Deeply racist and offensive) things to the septon mother had her speak with. I am quite sure she was about to assault him, Eventually, she asked mother if she was an abomination because of the whole incest thing (Valaena and Aerion do not have an incestuous marriage themselves , but we Targs come from a long line of it.) , to which my mother responded by hugging her and saying ''You could never be an abomination, neither would your children be but...Incest is still not...ideal''

I do love people holding two positions that contradict themselves. How lovely.

We made our way back to the apartments that Lord Manfred had given us. When we were casually informed of an upcoming (Squire´s. Although you don´t need to be a squire to actually participate in it. Fancy way of saying it´s a tourney for kids.) Tourney that Rhaenys simply demanded we attend. Visenya actually smiled , despite saying that it was stupid. Rhaenys also kinda forced Aegon into participating through sheer cuteness. He´s mostly busy about whatever the fuck it was he spoke with some noble heirs bla bla bla

He´s boring. Although he´s not that young to fight in a Squire´s tourney. More like average age, just ask Daemon Blackfyre.

What actually worries me is the weird looks mother keeps sending father.

Please. Do not make me stay here.

My mother is a woman, father is a man. I am quite sure of how her ''convincing'' will go.

Please no. Me asking kindly.

...

Chapter Text

My spider sense is tingling.

The looks that my father is giving to Mom are...concerning. Especially my mom looking at me with tremendous satisfaction.

I suppose the saying is true.

Pussy is the best path to a man´s heart.

Why did you have to be such a Simp Aerion? Was it really necessary? Couldn´t you just keep it in for a week? Or is your second head that needy?

YOU FOOL!

I so wish I could go super saiyan right here. I would nail that line.

So. We are going to a Squire´s tourney. when I say we, I mean everyone but Visenya. She claimed ''Oh I´m not feeling well.'' Much to Aegon´s happiness and much to Rhaenys´despair. Because she is actually a nice person who wants Visenya around, shocking. It really takes a one-of-a-kind type of person to be like that. Though from the sneaky snickers that father did when Visenya conjured up the excuse, and the barely suppressed smirk on her face as she said it, I gather that either she´s lying or has some sort of plan. I do hope it´s lying , my patience for shenanigans is very low, and all that I am hoping for is that Valaena doesn´t try it. Don´t you dare try it , I have the high ground.

''I am so excited Aegon !'' Rhaenys says while giggling ''You have to win for me !''

Aegon grumbled ''I can´t believe you are making me do this.'' He tried to stay angry at Rhaenys, but that didn´t work for very long. ''Give me your favor at least ?'

''Of course '' She replied cheerfully while handing him a black ribbon.''Good luck and you will crown me if you win !''

''You can expect that Crown then'' He said, full of arrogance. ''No one can defeat me.''

Pride cometh before the fall as they say. Here I am hoping you take a tumble.

''Oh really ?'' Aerion said with a smirk ''You are very confident. my son.''

Aegon smiled, full of pride. ''I have earned the right.''

''Brother, if you lose this, I will make sure you never forget this moment.''

Aegon just waved me off dismissively. ''As if. Now, all of you, go to your seats and watch. I will be the champion this day.''

We are the champioonnnnsssss

...

I´ll see myself out. No worries, I will make sure to close the door too.

''Good luck, my child.'' Mother kissed him on the cheek, Aegon then scurried off to put all his boring tourney armor on.

I am not particularly entertained by tourneys. There is a lot of fighting and big sticks. So I feel like Westerosi are overcompensating for something being small. But you know what´s lacking? The purest form of being. Flames. Beautiful, beautiful fire, that brings so much warmth to my heart whenever it swallows a person whole. That is a melody to my ears as it crackles and burns the wood of houses, that is the most pleasing of sights as it dances from one side to another with is glowing orange color, serving as a beacon when there is darkness and as hope when there is fear. I will take the flames before the bodies of one thousand naked women.

I would be a R´hllor fanatic , but they worship the red god. Not fire itself , and that is completely unnaceptable.

So yes. Tourneys don´t truly appeal to me. I am all for senseless violence, I just have ...preferences in my violence. There is nothing wrong with it. In my first life I always wanted blond girls, cliche I know. I never got them due to being a huge stinky nerd. It is ironic, Rhaenys is blonde and supposedly going to grow up to be ultra hot, yet I simply feel no interest in her. You know why ? Because i´m not sisterfucking Dragonspawn. I´m just a normal Dragonspawn. Calm down Bobby B. You can keep your hammer down , I have no interest in Lyanna Stark.

The best members of House Targaryen were Egg and Vaegon. The accursed Maesters literally tried using porn books to arouse him , yet he fiercely resisted all their attempts at degeneracy. Aegon V was the man who stopped incest , until his sickly idiot of a son brought it back. Fuck Jaehaerys II and Shaera. They can go burn in the seven hells where the loyal lords still search for Rhaenyra. They will never find her.

Really , the tragedy of summerhall is only a tragedy because Rhaegar was the one who lived. Literally everyone else lives and everything is fine. But fate really is a cruel bitch, and the one dude the world would have been better without managed to escape the flames. If only Egg had been the one to live.

We made our way to our seats. Rhaenys could not stop talking. ''Oh I can´t wait , Daeron, when we grow up and marry I want you to be the one to win tourneys and crown me !''

''No.'

She crossed her arms ''Why are you always so mean to me !''

''I am not. I am nicer to you than to most people.''

''Then why is it you don´t want to marry me? I do everything possible to win you over! I am always kind to you , and I spend time with you, why can´t you just accept me? Am...am I bad looking? or...or annoying? Do you not care for me? Can you imagine how degrading it would be for me to marry someone out of the family, without a dragon, when you are just waiting for me right there !? Can´t you do it just for me? I will be a good wife for you. I promise we will love each other very much, It won´t be like Aegon and Senya.''

Cope

''Incest is wrong.''

She sighed and I heard her mutter quietly, thinking I was Deaf or something. ''We will see about that...''

Oh just great. Worst of luck to you Rhaenys. Marry cousin Aethan and be happy with it. I care about you, but I sure as shit am not bedding you. I don´t want kids, but if I do have them, they´re not gonna be Incestuous abominations.

We found our spot to watch the Tourney. Rhaenys sat to my left, holding my hand gently. To my right are some Florents. Two boys. How can I tell they´re Florents you might ask? Simple. They are ugly and have big ears.

Our parents sat at a higher spot. I saw that Valaena was speaking with Lord Manfred Hightower and i literally shivered in fear. Father wasn´t in on it at least, that´s good. It is best I begin preparing my counterarguments. Ben Shapiro time.

Rhaenys noticed my anxiety immediately ''Brother, what is the problem ?'' She asked with concern.

I gave her a meek smile ''Rhaenys, what would you think if Father tried to get me to foster here in Oldtown ?...''

Her face scrunched up in annoyance ''NO! I want you near me- I mean I want you in Dragonstone with us. It was bad enough when you were fostered with uncle Daemon , anything else is insulting! Is that the problem ?''

''Mother wants it...I do not.''

''Don´t worry Daeron'' She squeezed my hand ''We will simply speak to Father about it, Visenya will certainly be against it. I will be against it , and if you also speak against it , certainly father won´t do it...'' She smirked deviously ''If the worst happens, I can throw some tears here and there...I trust you know how to fake them ?''

''I do not.''

''A pity '' Rhaenys said , sighing. ''But I am sure just my own will suffice..do not worry Daeron , we will not let you be sent away.''

Wow. Emotional manipulation ? Really Rhaenys ? Although I suppose being around a soft manipulator is better then being around Visenya

Tell that to yourself if it makes you feel better Rhaenys. I am preparing for the greatest internet Argument ever. Crack them knuckles and prepare for the Redditor grind.

Here´s my motto friends.

If you´re gonna fight , fight like one of those monkeys going up to Noah´s ark.

And brother.

It´s raining.

''You two.'' I heard the Florent kid say ''Quiet down a bit.''

''Wait'' I heard the other Florent kid say ''Aren´t these two Targaryens ?''

''You mean the sisterfuckers ?'' Florent kid number one replied '' Then really quiet down, no one wants to listen to you two doing *that*.''

They laughed and I saw Rhaenys feeling embarrassed.

Time to fuck `em up.

''Might as well ask us to be tongueless. With those big ears of yours, I am sure you two can hear it when your Parents regret not having taken that moon tea every day. They wouldn´t have seen their bloodline degrade into the two of you.''

I saw they got pissed. I saw Rhaenys got less embarrassed

Alright. Hit´em hard

''Your next line will be: We are descendants from the greenhand! How dare you insult our Lineage !''

''We are desce-'' He paused before getting red with anger.

''Oh really, Garth Greenhand? '' I say with a cocky smirk ''Every house of the reach also comes from him. I don´t think the hand was the only thing Green, you two aren´t all that special. Look around and I think even the average tavern wench has some blood from Garth as well.''

''And what lineage can you claim !''

''The Valyrian freehold.''

''The Freehold doesn´t matter anymore , It´s dead !''

''So is Garth''

The boy got up , trying to intimidate me with his height. He looks 14 , with brown hair and blue eyes. ''Do you have any idea who you are speaking with !''

''No'' I said cheerfully ''Am I meant to ?''

He grit his teeth ''I am the heir to House Florent. And you are just a boy that has deluded himself into thinking he is a man.''

''You made the same mistake.''

The Florent boy put his nose up and left ''Come Brother, let us not sully ourselves with the presence of these abominations.

I smiled, put my hands behind my head and put my feet up. It feels good to be me.

''Thank you Daeron.'' Rhaenys said with a cheeky smirk ''That was kind of you.''

''See'' I said with the most smug attitude ever. ''I am capable of being nice.''

The tourney began in earnest.

The first competitor was a Connington from Griffin´s Roost. He wore SICK armor with a golden griffin emblazoned on it. He had red hair and his Lance was gigantic. He had a sick ass black horse and he didn´t wear a helmet for some reason. Kiddo looked 15. Not that young , this is a squire´s tourney. Fancy way of saying children´s tourney

His foe was...

''MISTERY KNIGHT !'' I heard Rhaenys scream with excitement

The mystery knight called Him(Her)self the knight of ashes. Quite the sick name. Black armor and Black helmet with a visor covering the entire face. Astride a very average-looking horse. Legitimately broke the entire black theme here.

Oh well, I wonder who that is.

Not very subtle.

But then again.

I am surrounded by idiots.

The fight wasn´t even a fight. The knight of ashes one tapped poor Connington. Oh well.

The next rounds were all boring for me. I quite literally slept through them.

''Dae.'' I heard as Rhaenys tapped me on the shoulder ''Dae , wake up.''

''Don´t call me that !'' I yawned ''All right , what is it.''

''It´s Aegon´s time to ride !''

He was against a Blackwood.

Aegon already lost. He is facing the house of plot armor

Aegon´s armor was awesome. Legitimately awesome. It was full plate with a big red dragon on it. Considering he is also quite attractive (For the perverted westerosi who think Kids are fair game) He probably won over many ladies right then and there with his silver hair and purple eyes and confident smile.

He broke the rules by defeating the Blackwood. It took him some rounds , but Aegon unhorsed the blackwood with a straight hit on the chest. He was all courtesy afterwards , saying there was no shame in losing and that his foe rode well.

Rhaenys was ecstatic ''He won !'' She then turned devious ''With my favor...yes...all the others will envy me hahahaha...''

Mother shed a tear with pride and father was smiling down at Aegon.

I went right back to ignoring everything around me.

The next rounds were boring as fuck.

For me at least, Rhaenys enjoyed them.

Besides the ''Knight of ashes'' ( Wonder who that guy is) No one could stand up to Aegon for very long. A Bracken did pretty okay, but he lost in the end. Like everyone in that house is doomed to do. The mystery knight however didn´t play games. All his opponents got one tapped with brutal efficiency. I´m quite sure one guy is getting crippled for the rest of his life after the Knight swept the legs of his horse and made it fall. Okay, paralyzed is an exaggeration, but that guy did not have a fun time.

The final round. Aegon vs mystery ''guy''.

''I am so scared Daeron.'' Rhaenys told me ''What if Aegon gets hurt? What will happen then !''

''He´ll lose.'' I said in driest possible tone

Rhaenys looked at me with annoyance. ''You know that´s not what i meant. Do you not care if our brother gets hurt ?''

I smirked.

''You are awful sometimes Daeron.''

''Thank you for the compliment. It means a lot.''

The first round.

Both Aegon and Mystery Knight rode forth.

Aegon thrusted his Lance but the Knight ducked out of the way. He tried cheekily throwing it at where the mystery knight was riding so the horse would trip and fall but the Knight saw through that and simply slowed down just the slightest bit.

Still, the knight made no attempt at actually hitting Aegon.

He´s playing with my brother.

I could see Aegon´s pride felt hurt.

Second round!

Aegon tried sweeping the legs off the horse. The mystery knight was ready for it and simply jumped over.

Aegon looked as if he was about to explode. My mother also looked on with disapproval. This was her son getting humiliated. Rhaenys was growling with anger ''HIT HIM AEGON! YOU CAN DO IT! PUT HIM DOWN !''

Round three

Aegon tried being direct this time , he didn´t bother with any cheeky nonsense. Nope. He was just gonna do a good old hit in the stomach.

Not.

Mistery knight hit him first with precision. Aegon fell off his horse like a ragdoll looking at the Sky as if he simply could not understand what was happening.

''I lost ?'' I heard him mutter to himself ''That´s...that´s not...supposed to happen.''

''That is what you think'' Came the voice of the mistery knight ''I do believe this was an easy bout. But do not worry , you were quite...adequate.''

''No !'' I heard Rhaenys say with anger ''That knight is mocking our brother, he doesn´t get to do that !''

''You !'' She said while pointing at the knight. ''Stop doing that ! My brother is already down in the ground. He fought with chivalry and honor, why are you laughing at him ?''

The mystery Knight put the crown of roses in his lance. ''And you are ?'' He asked, nonchalantly.

''Rhaenys Targaryen. His sister.''

''I think...'' The knight said while riding closer. ''You deserve this.'' He put the crown on my sister´s lap and rode off. The crowd demanded that the Knight reveal himself , but he kept the visor on.

Rhaenys was staring at the crown in her lap with tremendous confusion.

Happens to the best I suppose.

Aegon remained there on the ground. Just looking up and contemplating his existance. He looked so distraught over losing I decided to not laugh at him. He deserved that at the very least

...

''I am sorry.'' Aegon muttered out. We had returned to our apartment lent to us by Lord Manfred. Aegon had stayed quiet the whole way back. Visenya had greeted him with a confident smirk. Whereas father had a ''You went too far'' kind of face. We were having our last little meal of the day. In only two days we return to Dragonstone.

''For what ?'' Rhaenys asked.

''Not crowning you. I promised it.'' He said with genuine annoyance.

''Brother'' Rhaenys said while putting a kind hand on his shoulder ''Just forget about all of that , alright ? You rode well.''

''Yes , my son.'' Valaena said ''You rode with tremendous skill. Do not let that knight´s provocations get to you. It is rare to be the second place of a tourney on your first try.''

''Your mother is right. And your sister agrees.'' Aerion said while looking at Visenya

''Of course , husband'' She said drily. ''I was not there to see it, but I am sure you were simply perfect.''

He remained quiet. Looking pretty pathetic.

I just kept eating , this shit just ain´t my problem.

''He was playing with me'' Aegon said angrily ''He could have ended it whenever he wanted, but he decided to humiliate me in front of everyone.''

My mother realized it was probably a good idea to change topics, talking about this simply makes Aegon feel worse. So she pivoted to the worst possible thing.

''Husband... may I speak of Daeron´s fosterage...''

Breathe in

Breathe out

It´s shapiro time.

Visenya narrowed eyes. Rhaenys squeezed my hand and Aegon just stayed there in his own pit of despair.

''I have spoken with Lord Hightower and I think it would be wonderful for Daeron to be fostered here...''

Aerion frowned ''But..they are andals...''

She smirked and whispered something in Father´s ear. Prolly sex-related if his expression afterward tells me anything. ''Remember that Daemon was of Valyrian blood and remember what he did to our Son.''

''I think it would be nice father.'' I heard Aegon say ''When I comes my turn to be Lord of Dragonstone , having someone with friends in the mainland could be good...''

TRAITOR. SCUM. I WILL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH.

*Ahem*

''Brother !'' I heard Rhaenys say with shock ''You want Daeron to go far away from us ?''

Aegon frowned ''It would be useful for us. Besides , he wouldn´t leave forever. He would return eventually.'' He turned to father ''I believe it would be wise, father.''

Visenya growled ''You would leave our little brother at the predations of the faith and the Hightowers ? Daeron is the youngest of us and the one most in need of protection. Sending him half the world away to be alongside scum Is cruel. I would never accept this.''

Aegon narrowed his eyes ''A pity. Your opinion does not matter here.''

Ass. Go to hell Aegon. You and Visenya both deserve each other. Most toxic couple i´ve ever seen

''uhm...father'' I try and sound scared.'' I don´t want to be this far away...Driftmark was close at least...and I don´t know anyone here and ..just don´t father.''

''Sweetling'' My mother says carefully and softly ''Do not be afraid, Lord Manfred will be kind to you.''

''Like Uncle Daemon ? It was you who had me foster there, to begin with.''

That seemed to have effect in dad. His eyes darkened. ''Daemon betrayed my trust.''

Gotcha

''And if Lord Manfred does the same thing , I will have no way of calling for help. Would you let that happen father ?''

''Never''' He said through gritted teeth.

''And I won´t even be able to keep my Dragon here, my bond with Shrykos would weaken !.''

''Son.'' Valaena said harshly now ''Do not speak of things you do not understand.''

''You have no Dragon , mother.'' Visenya replied drily ''You have no right to educate my brother on the bond of rider and mount and the importance of always having your dragon near.''

Thank you Visenya. You are being a very staunch supporter of mine.

''I still think it would be a good idea. '' Aegon said with a bit of frustration now ''The Hightowers are one of the most prestigious houses of Westeros , ties with them would be beneficial...''

''What do we care for Westeros ?'' Visenya said ''We have always looked east. Haven´t we father ?''

Aerion was deep in thought.

Thankfully , I got my tide breaker.

Rhaenys began crying ''I don´t want Daeron to be far away...I want him close....''

Everyone softened their expressions , even Aegon. Father moved in to comfort her by hugging her tightly. ''Shh...do not cry my daughter. We will not send your brother so far away....''

Ha....

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT AEGON ? VALAENA ? THIS IS MY PERFECT VICTORY !

AHAHAHHAAHAAHA

I AM THE GOD OF THE NEW WORLD !

ok let me chill on the Light yagami

''But we still must have him fostered somewhere...''

''Claw isle. With house Celtigar'' Visenya said without a second of hesitation.

''They are of pure Valyrian heritage , they are close to us and they have the capacity to house his dragon.''

Aegon bristled ''They are a minor house by the Blackwater. They are not worth a Targaryen , our brother deserves better.''

''I prefer the Celtigars, Aegon.''

He grumbled ''You do not know what is best for you.''

''You don´t either !'' Rhaenys said through sobs. She´s a great actress. Damn.

''It is decided'' My father said. ''Daeron will foster with the Celtigars until his wedding. At which point he will move with us at Dragonstone permanently

We left Oldtown some days later. And i was shipped off like Pizza to lord Celtigar.

Well...well...well...

Should i Crab Dance or should I crash the economy ? That is how Celtigars function after all.

Chapter Text

*tap*

*tap*

*tap*

Man. I love the sound of my own boots hitting the ground. I snap my fingers, whistle, and laugh a bit. I walk through the ''streets'' (If you can call anything in a medieval keep a street) with very little preoccupation. It is night and the moon´s shining on me. There is some rain, but I´m not exactly the type of guy to mind that. I liked playing in the rain as a little kiddo, this is the perfect setting for my current venture. Thank you weather.

I wear a black cloak, leather boots, gloves, and a belt. I´m not so edgy you´ll cut yourself and contract tetanus, no, I wear this stuff because it´s comfortable. I´m a very pragmatic guy you know, I choose whichever option is the easiest and most convenient, and if someone doesn´t like it, well...

Get Shrykos´d.

I´m living the best life...

not.

I am bored.

5 years.

I have been with the stupid crab people...

FOR 5 YEARS. I am Four and ten now.

It´s not as if they mistreat me or any of the sort. If anything, my life here is the best it´s ever been. My duties are lax, I can fly on Shrykos whenever I feel bored, the food is good and Claw Isle itself is a nice place. It is small, true, but wealthy and well organized. Not a dirty mess like Duskendale was. We actually have things made of stone instead of wood. I might have...arranged the murder of one or two maesters here. But in my defense, they´re maesters. Not people.

Really, Lord Alton Celtigar (Name of the guy who runs this place) is very nice to me. The only activity that could be remotely considered dangerous that he has me perform is tax collecting. Sometimes I am sent to Crackclaw Point alongside some collectors to...get cash. It is a very easy job I might add. People are willing to pay up when they see Shrykos. Of course, Crackclaw Point belongs to the Storm King Argillac, but he´s really got better things to deal with (Harren the black, Meria Martell, the Reach, and even Volantis) than some small villages getting extorted a bit. Lord Celtigar did this even before I arrived, so I haven´t changed things all that much. He has also tried to teach me trading...but I DO NOT COUNT COPPERS !!! (Was forced to learn it though)... Besides, Celtigar economics can be summed up as ''Increase the taxes and just hope it keeps working''. I am not an economist, but if i actually do have to administrate something, I could do better than that. Mercantilism is within my mental reach. As is the very simple idea of ''Spend less then you gain, invest your gains in order to make more money with it.'' Not truly very hard concepts, but they are above these feudal bozos who think they can feast every week and the peasant extortion will pay up for it.

My skill at arms is gloriously good !...not...okay. I´m not a wimp anymore. With Dragonclaw I am quite competent. I am no Visenya, Aegon or Orys, but I won´t get my ass handed to me easily. Valyrian steel is a very big advantage and well...I´m not afraid to cheat to win. Sorry fellas, I prefer my guts inside my body instead of spilled out, so I will be resorting to cheeky tactics. Speaking of my siblings...I actually...haven´t seen them during all this time...There´s no real reason to it...besides it happens. But we have communicated through letters. Rhaenys in specific believes she can seduce me through paper or some shit.

Shrykos has grown...very nicely. My dragon remains as beautiful as ever and our bond has not weakened one bit. Though we have both been concerned with the lack of war criminal activity. In these five years I haven´t had a single chance to engage in burnings! ABSURD!

To be fair.. assassinating the maesters was...enough to fill in the gap.

I declared war on all knowledge and learning when I attacked the Citadel. And my crusade will never end.

Reject enlightenment ideals.

Embrace Unga Bunga.

I´ve just grown...complacent....

But the biggest change has come in the form of...Physical...development.

Teenage years.

My hair has gone from silver to gold. So i kinda look a bit more like Rhaenys now, I keep it at shoulder length since I am too lazy to bother cutting it often. I have gotten taller and stronger, though my build remains slim instead of bulky. I thankfully haven´t had to deal with pimples...eww...My eyes have gotten a *very* deep purple coloring now. Meaning that for...Westerosi girls, who think gushing over a 14-year-old is fine, I am ultra fucking hot. They stare into my eyes and melt.

And that is good...very good...

Because HOLY SHIT I WANT TO FUCK!

Horny me has been waiting for puberty , and now that it´s out, I just can´t keep it in anymore. I am not a corrupt politician to ignore Holes in the street if you get my meaning. If it fits, it fits...

I genuinely struggle to look at an attractive woman without wanting to grab some ass. In my first life I never had the confidence necessary to approach women, but here ? Here is a dog-eat-dog world , and I´m the chef. After committing murder and war crimes, Speaking to a girl seems trivially easy.

Case and point: Right now. I am walking in the middle of the night to meet my paramour. Who happens to be Lord Celtigar´s bastard daughter. Lovely girl of 17 with all the attractive Valyrian features you´d come to imagine. Name is Elaena. She´s not as attractive when it comes to things that *aren´t* her coloring (As in the hair and eyes) being a little too...wide....for my tastes. But she´s easy and she´s willing.

So I´m taking it.

I reached the place where we arranged to meet every night. Just a room at an Inn...

I walk inside said Inn, wet from the rain. Thankfully mister Innkeeper is a very understanding man and he offers me a towel to clean myself. I exchange few words with the guy and make sure to slip by some coin to him so he keeps this quiet. I don´t really want to get a reputation as a womanizer, because Aerion would call it ''Dishonoring'' Rhaenys. And I just can´t be bothered to deal with that shit. There was also the possibility of Visenya telling him, but if she hasn´t done so until now, there´s gotta be a reason for it. And I am not going to fix what´s not broken.

I open the door to the Room my girl is in and oh god damnit, I can feel my PP go hard the same second I see her smiling at me.

Puberty...I like that you gave me sex...I don´t like that you made it hurt so much...This shit is stabbing my pants...

Elaena noticed it too and smirked ''Are you in pain ?''

Go to hell....

''Excruciatingly so...''

''Well...'' She said getting up from the bed and making her way towards me. Oh those Boo- FOCUS MAN. ''Let me help you with that...''

She got extremely close to me and began to unbuckle my belt. I also immediately began to undo her dress. Good. We are skipping the boring parts and getting into what matters.

We kissed each other deeply in the lips, She took out my cloak and oh we began fucking in earnest. I shoved a finger in her Bum like Show Euron told me to and if the noise she did tells me anything, Captain Crack Sparrow knew his craft...

Oh man...And other SI´s spend their whole lives working on shit instead of doing this ? Idiots , Lackwits and Imbeciles. Getting Laid is better then industrial revolution. Though it loses to War crimes.

I´m king in the Hill !

Chapter Text

WOOO

OH YEAH!

Flyin' around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my rainbow!

Can´t stick around, have to keep moving on, guess what lies ahead only one way to find out!

My head´s in the clouds baby! And I mean that literally. I´m flying on Shrykos. It´s very fun. What? Do you think I´m not allowed to do things for fun? Keep that attitude when it comes to your studies at school, I´d like to see you try. I´m only human after all.

Man, I love my dragon. I love her so much ! I even pet her scales a bit. I am in riding leather and wearing some gloves. You have no idea how important gloves are, considering just how cold it gets up here in the sky. My little fingers can´t be allowed to freeze, can they? It´s also so very important to avoid getting cut by Shryko´s scales by touching them on accident. They´re sharp like that.

There´s just this good feeling of peace when you are flying. Basically, no one besides my sisters and father can bother me when I am up in the sky, since they are the only other Dragonriders in this world. And well...they´re not here. So the skies are mine to rule !

Shrykos has grown somewhat in these past few years. I remember Visenya told me that the bond of a dragon and its rider only gets deeper with time...and considering that I only went off the deep end when it came to insanity after I claimed Shrykos, there´s probably some truth to that. We´re quite literally each other's worse influences. But hey , we´re BFF. And that´s all that matters.

I am really ... enjoying myself here...I am in my teen years, meaning I have a lot more freedom compared to my days as a little Kid, and I am also completely free from Parental supervision. Visenya is supposed to be the police state, but seeing as she hasn´t done it, there´s probably a reason. But I don´t care, ain´t fixing what ain´t broken.

So yeah ! I spend my days up in the skies, drinking and having sex. What could possibly be better than this? I´m not here in this world for a long time, I´m here for a fun time. That´s all that really matters to me...OK, I do have some care for my siblings. It´s hard to feel nothing for people you´ve known for years. But it is certainly an...interesting relationship. Visenya mostly approves of my actions and acts like a protective big sister, Rhaenys is...somehow trying to seduce me or something. And Aegon is an ass. But he´s my asshole brother, only I get to mock him to his face.

Orys is the least unhinged of us all. Well, either him or Rhaenys. Depends a bit. Rhaenys thinks incest is good while Orys is Bobby B light. Still better than Aegon ''I am better than everyone else and think that resistance to me in any way is unacceptable'' , Visenya ''Die you non-Valyrian dog'' and me ''Fire is cool''

I have decided not to marry in this world...the reason is simple. Wedding Rhaenys is completely unacceptable, she´s my sister. Any other match would likely make her feel sad and honestly ?... I prefer being free to chase around whomever I want. Oberyn Martell knew best. Except for being bisexual, sorry fellas, nothing against you guys, it´s just not for me.

In fact, I want as many men as possible to be Gay and to find their love in life. So that there is less competition for the women. Tactical tolerance.

I felt the wind hitting my face and smiled with pleasure, I petted Shrykos some more. She whined.

''I love you girl'' I say before rubbing her a bit more ''You know I do right ?''

She scoffed.

''Listen, I know we haven´t had many burnings as of late...but that´s not my fault girl. We´ll get back on track eventually. Is that alright with you?

She still seemed annoyed. So I had to increase the quality of my pettings and scratchings. ''There there sweet girl...papa here loves you...he loves you very much, sweet girl...Never doubt it.''

I looked west , to the setting sun. It looks cool. I am quite content and relaxed here. Not a single worry in sight...

I land Shrykos at a hill to uh...perform bodily functions. In my defense, she pooped too. Afterwards, I went to the edge and took a piss. This hill is quite tall and above one of the ''roads'' (If you can call a path of dirt a road) here in Claw Isle. I´m sure I even managed to hit someone in the head with it. Lovely.

Afterwards I climbed Back to Shryko´s back and flew to my room.

...
First thing I did when I closed my door. Was to start drinking. Oh boy did I drink. I drank way too much wine. Afterwards alcohol influenced my thoughts a little bit too much and I temporarily became a nudist. Don´t ask yourself why It happened, It just did. And that´s perfectly fine right ?... Just know that waking up midday at the next day, very Hungover, and naked while reeking is ... quite the experience. I spent an entire hour. staring at the ceiling and occasionally playing with my hair a little bit. Just because it feels good to touch.

Eventually. I mustered up enough strength to collapse from my bed. I fell right into the cold hard ground with my blankets mercifully covering up my...thingies...I puked a bit...man...I´m a fucking mess...How the hell did Aegon IV do this every day? *Eww*

I had to cough a bit...then dizzily get back on my feet , dress myself (Nobles have servants for that , but I'm a weirdo and do it with my own two hands) and then kindly request a hot bath to be prepared for my person. The servant probably agreed I was in need of it , considering how quickly he scurried off afterwards.

The bath itself was great. I just chilled in a pool of hot water while people cleaned me up. It was so chill that I experienced the state of harmony there.

You know , my life is just so good, what could possibly go wrong ?...

Everything.

''My lord Daeron'' An anxious servant says with a letter in his hand ''A message...from your father. The Lord Aerion.''

I immediately curse myself for jinxing everything ever.

''Have you read it ?'' I ask with my eyes closed. It was illegal for smallfolk and maesters to read messages not addressed to them. Most did anyway.

''My lord, I do not know Letters.'' He replied drily. With the anxiety being replaced by the classic ''Bruh'' look.

...I deserved that...that was a stupid question.

''Someone fetch me a towel.'' I say with tremendous annoyance.

I walk out from my glorious bath. Clean and smelling nice. I grab the letter and study it a bit. Nice seal. High quality stuff. I open it up and start reading.

''To my beloved Son, Daeron.

Son,

I am proud of the man you have been growing into. Letters from Lord Celtigar have told me you are a most upstanding young boy, honorable and strong. He tells me you have grown adequate with a sword and eager with your dragon. Though he also tells me that you are quite good with numbers, yet demonstrate extreme resistance to administration and trading''

Sorry. That was just the sound of my laughing. I suppose he either doesn´t know that I´m fucking his bastard daugther, or that he doesn´t care, or that he sees it as a normal thing for a boy my age here in Westeros. Who knows man? My behavior is certainly not upstanding, I´ll tell you that. I mean...I only started the drinking recently too...most of my degeneracy hasn´t been happening for very long.

''My son, you have spent too long without the sight of your family. Now you are four and ten, almost man-grown. And I believe it is time for you to meet us again after these 5 years. ''

Ok that´s fine. Don´t see the problem

''In your upcoming wedding to your sister Rhaenys. Afterwards, you shall live here in Dragonstone permanently. The wedding will take place in three weeks time , but I wish for you to be here as soon as possible. We all miss you, child. Especially Rhaenys, she is eager to see her soon-to-be brother-husband.

With love, Aerion.''

*Sighs*

I felt myself aging a decade reading this. Just...just screw it...I am not marrying my sister. It´s just not happening...I guess i´ll have to go to Dragonstone and stand my ground on this issue. Sorry not sorry Rhaenys. I´m no sisterfucker.

Just....Fuck...

And I mean that Literally, I am going to fuck the tension away, lemme me just get my cloak, some gold to keep the innkeeper quiet and *groans* buy some moon tea for my paramour. It´s annoying to find this crap...nah, she´ll bring it herself. Besides, my pullout game is god-tier. I ain´t worried.

Just...I hate incest so much....

Gimme a break...

Chapter Text

Sweet home Dragonstone!

Actually...considering the subject I am to discuss here...that was the worst possible thing I could have started this with. Unless you´re a pro-incest weirdo. In which case, yes, I am judging. I know I am morally bankrupt and have no real right to look down on anyone. But I don´t care. You *are* Being Judged.

From the back of Shrykos, I can see all the weird dragon and demon-themed architechture. Pretty nice and cool , even if extremely grim. But It fits. It looks like somewhere a Skeletor or a Sauron might live and plot his conquests and world domination. And that is pretty much what my siblings do. I am curious as to how they are all grown up. Must be extremely nice and reasonable people without a violent fetish.

I keep a slow and steady pace on my dragon. I am honestly dreading this a bit. I know I´ll succeed. But escaping the incest will likely lead to extreme resistance from my father. Rhaenys should be ok, I´ll just tell her and Aegon to marry each other and everything will be fine. Well, except Visenya might get ultra super mad. But I can handle it of course.

''I love you girl'' I say while petting my dragon ''Go down now. And I will fetch you a nice meal.'' Shrykos replied with some happy dragon noises. I can tell the difference between all her noises since I am the rider. I might have kissed her scales. Well, It didn´t feel good on my end, but it did for her. And that´s all that really matters. I perform elaborate acrobatics while flying, like a barrel roll. It´s very pleasant

I´ll have to bathe myself after I land..I´m dripping with sweat from flying. Considering I drink a lot, I also bathe a lot to take out the smell. Sorry, but I just can´t stand being dirty for very long. Hygiene is a thing after all. Planetos can change a lot, but viral infections remain. They are like cockroaches, Impossible to get rid of. Damn, that flying piece of DNA or Rna or a bit of both that is enveloped by proteins. Damn it. Thankfully washing your hands sheds said envelope and makes the Virus harmless! Well... not every Virus. But I heavily digress.

Whenever the conquest does begin, I am employing biological warfare in every place I can´t just burn down. In other words, any besieged castle will find itself having dead bodies catapulted inside to spread Illness.

I land in the Island with patience. There are dragonkeepers here and I´d hate to be the one to smash them to pieces. The very second Shrykos hits the ground they come to tend to her. I jump out from out the saddle, feeling super cool, and swag. I give them a friendly smile. They don´t seem all that thrilled with it for some reason. So I just give up on being nice to them. ''Have her fed and cleaned.'' I say with some annoyance while taking out my gloves ''I want her ready for riding until tomorrow morning.''

''Yes my lord.'' The elder of the dragonkeepers says with an even tone. He´s a very boring guy. But I need him to be effective. Not fun.

I walk around Dragonstone for a bit. It is funny how the smallfolk see me as a literal god for being a Targ. The indoctrination here is so absurd here that the women and girls of this place see it as a blessing to be impregnated by a Targaryen. It might be worth bedding one or two later. As long as she´s into it and I don´t produce uh....bastards.

I love you Orys. But I do not want to be the guy to bring up Daemon Blackfyre.

Honestly though...does it even matter how many bastards I have, as long as they don´t get dragons? Not really. But hey , I don´t really want kids. Cannot imagine myself as a ... dad. The very idea is weird. I mean...I´d love my kid but uhhh....how the fuck would a child raised by me turn out? Probably not very well.

I sigh and turn around when I hear a dragon roaring. I look behind me to see it´s Vhagar landing. So I have to walk all the way back to where I came from just to speak with Visenya.

What a drag...

Visenya in leather...

Holy moly...

Her hair was about as silver as silver can get. It was long , but she had it bound with braids. Her nose and her face were pretty much the stuff you´d see in an old classical statues...

She´s hot.

She´s your sister.

But...but She´s hot!

BUT SHE´S YOUR SISTER!

''Brother.'' She says to me with a genuinely happy tone and a smile. ''It has been some time.''

''It has,'' I reply. Look up. LOOK UP! ''Though, I thought you were always watching ?''

Her face scrunched up in annoyance. Don´t do that it makes you less Ho- DUDE FOCUS UP! ''Let me educate you Daeron. I used blood magic to watch you and our siblings. We share the same blood, it is...easier...to perform it. Yet it still requires sacrifice. Somehow, Aegon has convinced Father to forbid me from using the usual...stock.'' She grits her teeth with frustration ''A depravity is what this was! How much of your development did I miss? How can I keep my kin safe if I do not have them watched at all times !?''

Out of context, Visenya could be quoted as the average CIA agent in the 60´s. Gotta make sure to protect everyone in America against those blasted external influences. Just give up your privacy for it. Trust us, We´d never do anything bad with it.

I also do not want to know what her usual *stock* is.

''I am sure... You didn´t miss all that much...''

'' have you grown?'' She asks flatly.

''Upwards and sideways as well.''

''No, you fool.'' She said with narrowed eyes. ''I meant as a warrior.''

Danger.

Danger.

Danger.

Evade question. ''Of course...'' I said smoothly and already walking away ''It was nice speaking with you Visenya. I have to ... discuss some matters with father.''

''No.'' She said harshly. ''Spar with me.''

''Sister I Don-''

FUCKING LUNATIC WAS ALREADY SWINGING AT ME ?! THE HELL ?! I was lucky to have stepped back in time to not get cut. Jesus Christ Visenya...oh god damn it she´s so hot , I can´t stop staring....

FOCUS UP YOU MORON THIS CHICK IS OUT TO CLAP YOUR CHEEKS.

Oh...oh right...

I unseathe Dragonclaw. Now, I´m not as good as her at fighting. And because I am a teen while she´s a young adult, She´s also stronger than me. But I am not a bitch and I ain´t going down easy...besides, I can always just cheat a bit.

This must look very weird. We have a woman in leather attacking her younger brother, also in leather, with a sword.

She swung with Dark sister, so I parried, She tried to swipe my feet , so I jumped away. Visenya had a serious and focused look on her face. I was trying to act as cockily as possible in order to annoy her.

I took a step forward and swung my sword, She dodged it by crouching and then tried to get all cheeky with a sword thrust, she got a kick to the stomach for her trouble, followed up by hitting her right in the face with the hilt of Dragonclaw. Visenya reeled back , I then got way too aggressive for my own good and pretty much just lunged at her. I saw Visenya smirk behind all the pain. She lifted Dark Sister, and reflected the light of the sun right into my eyes, blinding me and making me fall to the ground.

...
F

''I remembered that little trick brother.'' She said looking at me from above, while I just laid on the ground. ''You pulled it on me when we were both Children. I learned.''

Visenya gave me her hand so I could get up ''You performed well. I am satisfied. A little too well in fact. My nose is in ...tremendous pain.''

Fair enough. This is kinda of W. She´s 19, and I am 14. The fact I can compete with her considering she´s also a very talented swordsman is ... quite an accomplishment for me. I feel well about myself.

''Thank you, sister.''

She was full of care and concern for me. Even making sure to take off some of the dust from me. ''Where is Rhaenys?'' I asked with some curiosity. I am going to have to deal with her soon.

''Flying.'' Visenya answered with amusement and a laugh ''Our dear sister spends more time on Meraxes than on her own two feet. You enjoy flying on Shrykos do you not ?''

''I do.''

''Then I am sure the two of you will have a good marriage...'' She said narrowing her eyes ''You do not still keep those old...hesitations about wedding Rhaenys correct ?''

''No !'' I reply cheerfully ''Of course I don´t.''

Lying can be useful.

...
My father was in his office, wearing a white doublet. He had a satisfied smile on his face. He had a bunch of Valyrian tomes all over the place.

''Son.'' He said softly ''Come closer, so I can see you better.''

I did as he said. Aerion put his hand on my cheek and mostly just stared at me with love. Awww He´s a nice dad.

''Do you know how proud it makes me ?'' Aerion said ''To see my children , grown into manhood and womanhood. All 4 soon to be bound together in marriage, riding dragons and skilled in arms...You, Aegon, Rhaenys, Visenya ... the 4 of you are my legacy. And Orys of course.''

''You and Rhaenys will wed in the same Valyrian ritual of Aegon and Visenya. Only our family will be present. Unlike that of your older siblings , there will not be a second ceremony with all those accursed septons.'' Aerion spat ''Andal scum. I do not understand why your brother admires them so.''

''Father...'' I say mounting up courage.

''Yes , child ?''

''I am not marrying my own sister. I am not marrying Rhaenys.''

Aerion´s tone and look darkened.

''What do you mean you *Aren´t* ? I have arranged the wedding. The date is set. You have known this day would come for years.''

''Well, I do not want to.''

''Enough,'' Aerion said drily, with a look of anger. ''You will wed and bed your sister. There is no other option. This is your duty. I have been lax with you Daeron. If resistance to my command is something you dare to even consider. You have enjoyed all the priviliges of your superior Valyrian Blood. You are handsome and a dragon rider. Wedding a beautiful lady who also rides a dragon is a boon. But it is also a duty, and you will perform it. Would you have Rhaenys be forced to wed some dragonless? Or, 14 forbid, an Andal? You are hers by rights. I am your father and your lord. You do as I say''

''I do not care.'' I say just as drily. ''I will not wed her.''

Aerion´s look darkened even more ''Oh but you will.''

''I won´t !'' I said while childishly stomping on the ground.

''You have been spoiled.'' Aerion says flatly. ''Very well. Daeron, you are clearly very exhausted and not in the right state of mind. We will discuss this in further detail tomorrow.''

I grit my teeth. Is this guy trying to pull a Tywin Lannister on me as if i were fucking Joffrey?

''I am not...exhausted.''

Aerion looked at me again now. I saw a lord , not a father.

''You are exhausted'' He repeated , very slowly. ''Head to your chambers and we wil discuss this tomorrow.''

I got furious. I raised my hand and spoke with tremendous anger.

''I AM NO-''

Aerion slapped me across the face for the disrespect and then held my hand with so much strength I was put on my knees from the pain. Jesus Christ this guy is strong, Is he the hulk or something? ''You.'' He spelled out each word ''Are. Exhausted.''

''I...I am...'' I reply while wincing from the pain.

Aerion then pulled me up and whispered in my ear. ''I love you like nothing else in this world. But I will not tolerate disrespect. Or resistance to your wedding. You will marry Rhaenys even if I have to force you to through Balerion. Are we understood ?''

Fuck you Aerion...

''Yes...we are...'' I could not conceal the bitterness in my tone. But still. I will not marry Rhaenys, I just refuse to do it. If I can´t convince my father, then I´ll just run away and go on my own adventures.

Imma turns into Daeron Crow´s eye.

Aerion released his grip and I stumbled backwards while holding my hand. It hurt a lot. His gaze softened somewhat. ''I will send a maester for you later , child.''

''Thank you father.'' I reply trying to sound polite. ''You are very...considerate...''

''I am.'' Aerion then waved me off ''You are dismissed.''

My question here is...AITH ?

I mean...I am compulsively disrespectuful and a general POS.

But the guy is trying to force me into fucking my sister.

who knows man...

I´m feeling as if I´m Theon Greyjoy getting clapped by Balon. And that...Is not fun.

...
I struggled to sleep afterwards. I drank some wine to help with the pain and I shifted in my bed from time to time. I considered trying to slip out and escape but uhh Aerion has had enough of my hijinks doing that , and posted guards beneath my window and outside my door. So I really don´t have a chance.

The wind that comes from the outside is a nice cool breeze...It does help me feel less...degraded. Seriously...that was humiliating...I got treated like Joffrey. And I am ass, but I ain´t no Joffrey. It takes a lot to make me back down.

I close my eyes, desperate to fall asleep. I need rest to think...to think of a way out. Perhaps I can get cheeky , throw Rhaenys at Aegon right now and just hope they marry each other ? But then again...I have no reason to assume that Aegon would accept that. Much less Rhaenys...

I hear the sound of my door opening and I couldn´t help but growl in annoyance. I don´t know who´s coming. But whomever it is...

Go to the seven hells.

I´m in an awful mood.

Chapter Text

Pride cometh before the fall.

I have a lot of pride. Gotta admit it.

But man

I´m falling.

I´m falling hard.

Almost as hard as Vegeta. At least I´m not a Jobber. Got that going for me.

Aerion completely clowned on me. I´m feeling...very...very fucking humiliated. Tremendously bitter and all in all. My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined. Look. I can understand that I´m not a very... nice guy. To say the least. I am arrogant. Hedonistic. Proud. And I do love burning people alive. I am mostly unrepentant about most of these things. Especially the burning people alive thing. But getting essentially just dunked on by your father still hurts. It hurts a lot.

My first reaction to it after going to my bedchambers was a temper tantrum. Afterward, I grumbled and growled a bit. I even considered trying to escape, but well...Balerion, Vhagar, and Meraxes will bring me back no matter how much I try. So I just drank a bit to cope. Somewhat pathetic...but highly effective. Or should have been. All it did was give me a damned headache. I really need to tone down the drinking...It´s...not good for me...Why the hell did I pick up this habit in the first place?

Now that I think about it. I am uncomfortably close to being Aegon II.

1-Ride golden dragon. Love said dragon dearly.
2-Drunkard.
3-Loves sex (At least i´m not a rapist.)
4-Lazy
Thankfully. I do have some redeeming qualities. I am not actually weak in a fight. Nor am I a coward...I am of middling intelligence instead of stupid. Then again...Aegon was willing to fight his battles, and he won them. So he isn´t a coward either...FUCK.

I am not going to be Aegon II. I refuse. I am better than that idiot. If only because I am not a complete lackwit. I suppose my love of fire is something that differentiates us. That´s great.

So yeah...I´m not in the best mood. I am actually kinda depressed Right now. Very disappointed, so humiliated. Woe is me! So don´t blame me for not being on my peak comedic performance...I´m just not in the mood for it. At all...Jesus...I´m an annoying brat aren´t I? *sighs*

So. When I heard someone open my door. In the middle of the night. When I was trying desperately to sleep through my wine-induced headache I immediately decided that either.

1-The loan sharks trying to get their money back. In which case I will perform financial fraud to pay them.

2-Sleep paralysis demon. In which case he can come to catch these hands.

3-My own alcohol-induced Hallucination. In this case, I need a mental health specialist.

My answer to all three of them is the most elegant possible. Leonardo Da Vinci once said ''Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.''

''Go to hell,'' I muttered out. Without even bothering to open my eyes or move in any way from the bed. I found that sweet spot with the pillow, where It´s not so soft you´re just melting, and not so hard you´re atop a rock. Ain´t no *way* I'm giving it up without a fight. Anyone who tries it will fucking regret it.

I heard some amused giggling and a very feminine voice speaking ''Is that how you greet your sister after 5 years ?''

I open my eyes now. ''Rhaenys ?''

She was a beautiful woman. Her hair was golden and she kept it long and wore it loose. Her eyes were a deep purple and her body was slender. She was wearing a red silk gown.

In other words...Hot as dragonfire. And I do love Dragonfire.

...Woul-*NO*

Rhaenys quite clearly noticed the...interested looks I gave her. I´m pretty sure I heard her mutter ''easy.'' Which made me feel very offended.

''Yes, little brother. *Me*'' Rhaenys spoke in a sweet tone and walked closer to me. I am starting to feel a bit...pressured here...

''Well...uhm...sorry for...greeting you like that...'' I say with an apologetic expression. Look...She is still my sister and I don´t like hurting her in any way. Even if I do it sometimes , for the war on incest.

She laughed a bit. ''No offense taken, Daeron. I have just barged into your room at night after all...''

''Yes,'' I say a little annoyed. ''Why did you that again? I was almost falling asleep.''

''Well. I wanted to speak with you and...'' She sat at the edge of my bed. ''And I only had the time now.''

UHHH

THIS IS TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT.

WAY TOO FUCKING CLOSE

THE HELL IS THIS?

DO I LOOK LIKE A TOMMEN TO YOU MISS MARGAERY TYRELL?

''Shhh...Calm down little brother...Everything is fine...'' Said Rhaenys with a low but gentle tone while keeping a finger on my lips before I could sleep.She must have noticed my discomfort with her being so close and all. I might have...only slightly stared at her. Only slightly. My willpower is not small...Good lord , she´s so fucking hot...I ... I wanna! I wanna ! I wanna !

*Deep mental breath*

Remember Daeron...

If she breathes...

SHE´S A THOOOOOT !

''I heard you had a fight with father ?'' She asked softly, while playing with my hair. I would move in to stop her but...it does feel good...

''I did...'' I growled in anger ''He humiliated me...''

''Oho , so much anger in your blood, little dragon.'' She said with a slight smirk ''But perhaps you should have had better judgment no ? Father loves us all , true. But he is still the head of our house as well. He has the power of life and death over us all.''

Reminds me of roman dads who would sell their children into slavery for a year so they could ''toughen up''. Randyll Tarly ain´t nothing compared to the brutal fathers of the past. Really.

''True'' I concede ''But that doesn´t mean he gets to degra-''

Rhaenys kissed me deeply in the lips instead of letting me finish. I instinctively try and resist...but that...does not last long...My body just relaxes..this feels...sweet and good...very...very good..I feel a wandering hand and perhaps I start touching back and...

Oh.

Oh dear.

And I can see in her eyes that Rhaenys is feeling very satisfied with herself.

...
I feel lost.

Literally.

My one moral rule...the one thing I was supposed to avoid....

I bedded my sister.

And I fucking loved it.

Now .... well...she´s not a maid anymore. Her marriage prospects are...not ideal. Am...I just going to abandon Rhaenys after this ? Am I that much of a dick ?...I am willing to completely ruin the lives of strangers, even if they are innocent people. But Rhaenys is my sister...

I am in bed. Staring at the ceiling and very much naked with an equally naked Rhaenys sleeping gently on top of me. Thankfully we have blankets to cover this ... indignity.

Well...I´ll have to...clean myself after this...we´re smelling...

''Daeron...'' She asks me softly with a smile ''Did you like it?''

I spoke out with a bit of ill will... ''I did...Somewhat...Fine. I enjoyed it, a ... considerable amount.''

''We can have this every day you know ?'' Rhaenys said with a very cocky smirk ''All you have to do is let me in little brother. Just accept me as your wife, Everything will be fine...I promise....''

My only reply was a hug.

Damn you.

Damn you all , Incestuous degenerates.

You all won. You did it. Is that good enough for all of you ? Are you all satisfied...Fuck it, I´ll even say the line...

Incest is Wincest.

Chapter Text

''Do you think he´ll like it, mother ?'' Asked Rhaenys Targaryen while inspecting her wedding gown. It was quite similar to the one that her elder sister had worn for her wedding to Aegon. The difference came mostly that Rhaenys had made sure that the embroidery had silver dragons, for Meraxes. If there was one thing she loved in this world, it was flying.

''He would be a fool not to,'' Valaena replied. ''You look beautiful, daughter.''

Rhaenys smiled at her mother. While Visenya had always been somewhat distant from Valaena, Rhaenys had not. Valaena had mostly accepted the wedding of Visenya and Aegon. Yet she did not want the youngest of her brood to follow the path of Incest. Citing the path of the faith. Rhaenys had never truly cared for the faith of the seven. Or any other faith. She found the fourteen flames that her father and sister preached terribly boring.

In truth, Rhaenys wished to wed any of her brothers. Not for religious reasons, or even for tradition. But because no man who was grounded could truly understand her. She loved the skies. And any child born from her body would only have half dragon blood. The thought of a son or daughter of hers never claiming their own dragon made her shudder with terror and fear. That was a curse. She pitied those who had no dragons.

That left her with only two options for marriage. Simply not marrying would never happen, Rhaenys was not so naive she thought that possible. Her elder and her younger brother.

Aegon was quiet. But she knew how to make him smile, how to bring out the kindness in him. It was not so hard as one might think once the initial resistance of his reclusive demeanor was overcome. He was intelligent, prudent, and capable of being witty sometimes. He was however quite full of himself, and Rhaenys could not help but poke his pride. He was full of ideas, sometimes he even mentioned conquering one or two westerosi kingdoms. Rhaenys was...interested in it...to some extent. She had never been a swordswoman. Or much of a fighter. But she had Meraxes, and that was worth thousands of soldiers. Rhaenys had never given much thought to using Meraxes to kill instead of to fly. But if she was asked to do it by her family? She was sure she´d do it. And perhaps...if she happened to benefit from it...or if her future children happened to benefit from it, would that be so bad?

Yet, it was not meant to be. Aegon was already wed to Visenya. There was, of course, a rare, though not unheard of, tradition of polygamy among Targaryens. Rhaenys knew that she could easily convince Aegon to take her as a second bride (Though her parents would be a different story). It would barely be an effort. Aegon might have had some affection for their elder sister, but never in the way a man loves his wife, they rarely shared a bed, treating each other more as siblings. Yet doing so would be like begging for resentment to come inside their family, not to forget that even in Valyria polygamy was discouraged. And being taken as a second wife would either make her seem more of a concubine or a mistress than a wife or a favorite. Humiliating Visenya. If she had no other choice, Rhaenys would do it and then try to soften the blow. She truly did not wish to hurt her sister.

Daeron...was...Daeron. Her younger brother was...eccentric. She would not, however, let those outside her family slander him. He was her little sibling, so what if was a bit...odd? He was nice....sometimes. Daeron was almost the opposite of her eldest brother. Lazy and moody. With a knack for mocking others and a cruel tongue. But he was also kind to her, and he was not stupid ... short-sighted is how Rhaenys would describe him. He would do what he wanted to do and that was it. Consequences be damned. It was somewhat refreshing. And it had benefitted her sometimes, such as when she claimed Meraxes as a child. It also became a grave threat when he put it in his head that he would not wed her.

She remembered just how much it irked her when she was smaller. He treated her well and rarely pointed his mockery in her direction, yet he also refused steadfastly to even consider marrying her. Rhaenys did everything her little childish mind thought would win him over, to spending time with him, to being as gentle as possible. Yet none of it seemed to have even the slightest effect. Whenever she tried, he would retort with a cold and dry ''no''. That made her feel so frustrated that she wanted to tear his hair off. He had a way of being so concise in his denials that truly annoyed her. He did not even bother to soften the hit in the slightest, preferring to go for the most brutal answer possible. He also had some...queer habits, such as a strange fascination with flames when he thought no one was looking, a disturbing tendency to monologue when he thought no one was hearing, and ... a fanatical devotion to self-grooming and cleaning. He took baths every day! The idea was strange to Rhaenys, she was a very clean woman, and not even she bathed herself every day. She did it once a week. A very respectable amount.

Yet...he had spent 5 years in Claw Isle. And Rhaenys had grown into a woman, while he was just a young boy. Rhaenys remembered how Aegon was at that age...she knew that men had certain desires that were awoken. Rhaenys also knew she was beautiful. It was not *just* vanity. She could tell. Rhaenys had done a small blunder. In the day of his return, she hadn´t even been there to greet him, flying on Meraxes instead. But that had worked out in her favor. He had some fight with her father that had left him shaken...Daeron was in clear emotional turmoil and drunk. She knew an opportunity when she saw one. Rhaenys chose her most enticing silk and slipped into his room.

She was a beautiful woman walking in on a young boy who happened to be drunk and with a wounded pride. It could not have been better. The look on his face when he´d seen her told Rhaenys everything. She received some...light...resistance, but that crumbled quite fast. Afterward, he´d bedded her. At that point, he had no choice but to stop his whining and marry her without a fuss, or keep trying to get out of it and leave his sister sullied after taking her maidenhood. Her little brother had the sense to choose the former instead of the latter. Perhaps she had been somewhat...manipulative...but Rhaenys was not above using some rather underhanded methods to have her way in the end.

Rhaenys was sure she would be great for him. She had no plans to be harsh or oppressive, though she would certainly curb his...drinking. In the few days since his return from Claw Isle, Rhaenys had seen him match Orys when it came to drinking. And that was simply...not good to put it mildly. However, he also seemed to love to fly as much as she did, which was certainly exciting. They would have some good times together.

Valyrian weddings were simple and quick affairs. Rhaenys was somewhat grateful for that. The sooner she could be sure her little brother was bound to her, the better. She walked towards an altar where there was a chalice of wine. Her little sibling came from the other side. He wore a robe colored red and black. Interesting choice, he liked those colors for some reason. He was quite tall for his age, almost as tall as Rhaenys herself despite the almost 4 year gap. He kept his hair at the length of his shoulder, she had once asked him why and his reply was simply that he could not be bothered to cut it more often. It was as blonde as her own hair.

Her parents looked on. Her father seemed satisfied with the fact that Daeron was doing as he wanted without fighting. Her mother had a small hesitant smile, but it was still there.

Rhaenys´elder siblings also watched. Aegon had his typical blank expression, though Rhaenys knew he felt both a tinge of jealousy and happiness for his younger siblings. He was also likely making some mental note about boring political things. Boring! Visenya however had no reservations giving out a grin of pleasure. Probably thinking of her own boring things and mentally rambling about old Valyria. Why couldn´t anyone just think about *her* for once?

Daeron seemed to be both slightly angry and satisfied. If Rhaenys had to guess, he felt angry over being tricked into it and satisfied because well...he absolutely could not say he hadn´t enjoyed it. Though he smiled at her when they got close. They both grabbed the chalice.

''You are mine and I am yours.''

they both took a sip from the cup and then held hands

''Now we are united in blood, fire, and love.''

Then they kissed.

Quite pleasant for both of them. Rhaenys made sure of *that*.

Rhaenys walked to the bedchamber where the consummation would happen. Still holding his hand. She had to suppress a snort. They´ve done this one before. Oh well, she wouldn´t complain about it. For all his faults , Daeron was good at beddings...so much so that she suspected that he had taken a mistress or something of the such in claw isle. Rhaenys certainly would not allow herself to be cheated on. So her little brother best beware when it came to that.

She opened the door and went in , Daeron went in right after her and closed it with a backkick. Unusual But he was an unusual person. She smiled at her brother and turned to look at the bed...it was big enough for the two of them and it certainly seemed comfortable.

''Sister'' Daeron said with a grin. He had put on an...eyepatch? W...where did he even find this? WHY? ''I have seen the truth Rhaenys. I have seen the light.''

''Light ?'' She asked with confusion ''what light? brother...husband....what are you even speaking of ?''

''See Rhaenys'' He said while lifting his finger and walking from one side of the room to the other ''I thought that I could not do Incest. I thought that it was wrong. But I was the one in the wrong. A man can´t truly know his limits until he tries them, perhaps we can all fly , how can I know unless I leap from some tall tower ?''

That disturbed her deeply. ''NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! Do not go leaping from any towers! I can guarantee you will fall down. If you wish to fly , mount Shrykos. I can follow you on Meraxes.''

''You don´t understand my point sister'' He said with disappointment.

Rhaenys felt even more confused ''What Poin- WHY ARE YOU WEARING AN EYEPATCH ?!''

''Oh'' He said, before pointing at it. ''It´s because I am the Crow´s eye Rhaenys! CROW´S EYE !''

Despite the complete illogicality of the answer. Rhaenys felt comforted. He wasn´t having a crisis. It was just one of his moods. He had these sometimes. She remembered he had one of them whilst she claimed Meraxes. The best solution to this was to simply wait it out. So that is what she did, Rhaenys sat at the edge of the bed while Daeron walked from one side of the room to the other, on a long monologue that lasted around 20 minutes, she politely pretended to hear what he was saying, though she could not resist rolling her eyes here and there. Such a good wife she was!

Eventually, he calmed down and ripped out the eyepatch.

''Are You finished ?'' She asked

''Yes.''

''So...'' She said while smirking

''Yes. I go on top.''

''Fair.''

He smiled shyly and put a hand on her shoulder ''Rhaenys...I know I am not...exactly what a woman wants in a husband...but I do promise to try somewhat, for your sake.''

That made her heart melt a bit. ''Thank you little brother. I do promise to be a good wife for you as well.''

Daeron narrowed his eyes afterward ''Just don´t expect me to become your servant. I am your husband and your brother, not a Lackey. Make sure to remember that.''

''That is acceptable.'' She replied kindly

Rhaenys then proceeded to consummate the marriage. If she was lucky, she would conceive a child right here and right now!

She thought of names. She would like to honor all her siblings when naming her children.

Rhaenys thought of names for boys and trying to combine her name with Daeron´s simply didn´t work here, Rhaeron was the worst thing she had ever heard. Though it did with Aegon, Visenya´s was also failing. Rhaesenys was disgusting. Visenys also sounded awful for her.

Aenys just sounded *wonderful*.

Chapter Text

I narrowed my eyes while staring intensely at Orys. A stare that was reciprocated with the same extent of hostility.

I gripped my wine cup with intent, before placing it on my lips and drinking, ever so slowly and surely, feeling the sweet and hot liquid go down my throat. Never breaking eye contact with Orys. He did the same. Bringing his own cup of wine to his mouth and drinking.

''I can keep doing this all day, Orys. Give up.''

Orys growled ''We will see little brother. I have been in drinking contests for years, no man in Dragonstone can empty cups like I can. You will lose. This is only our fifth round. I have gone as far as 20 rounds of Ale before. Daeron. You have not even the slightest chance of defeating me, I am the first and only drinking champion in the whole of Blackwater Bay. Your efforts have made you at best a pretender to my throne. An Imitation.''

''You are wrong, brother,'' I reply while filling another cup. ''I am the upgrade. I am the improvement. I have spent these last years in the Claw Isle perfecting my skill at drowning myself in cups. It is *you* who stands no chance, you have grown complacent and old, and it is time for a new champion. It is time for the reign of Daeron.''

''BAH !'' Orys said with disdain whilst taking another sip ''You have at best become an initiate in the art of drinking. But I was raised in it. When you were not even born, I had already begun my journey. You were born when I was five name-days old Brother, at that point I had already sipped wine in my name-days as is tradition. I had felt it´s sweet taste and bliss. You are nothing but a beginner brother. Talented mayhaps, but still a beginner.''

''When the sun sets, we will see which man is left standing.''

''On that, we agree little brother.''

''Husband'' Rhaenys says with concern while putting a hand on my shoulder ''You have had enough wine, do you not think it is wise to stop? I don´t want you to have a headache. This is our wedding feast , you should be enjoying yourself'' She smiled softly ''Let Orys have his victory.''

Orys and I exchanged a dark look before turning to Rhaenys. I placed my wine cup down at the table with an audible thump.

''No'' I replied drily.

''Rhaenys'' Orys started with a serious tone ''This is a serious contest. Where men prove their mettle, their strength of will, their strength of character. A victory that was handed to me would mean nothing, it would be dishonorable. Shameful, Pathetic.''

''There are three ways in which we can prove our masculinity Rhaenys. Where we can prove our dominance over one another. With steel, with cups, and in the bedchamber. You cannot deny me this.''

Rhaenys sighed in frustration and covered her face with her palms in annoyance. ''Why is it you two can´t stop this...cock measuring contest? That is all this is, it´s not something to care all that much for. Stop taking it so seriously brother. Why do you two care so much ?''

She does not understand the homie code. ''Honor'' Orys and I replied at the same time

Rhaenys rolled her eyes.

Orys and I resumed our fierce combat. The unmovable object and the unstoppable force, neither willing to concede to the other, no matter what.

''Orys, Daeron.'' I heard my father say from his spot on the table. Visenya and Aegon were near him, talking quite passionately about some subject. ''That is enough wine. Remember we have a hunt today. Do you not want to catch something for your wife my son?''

I groaned in annoyance. So did Orys. We looked each other in the eyes with a look that said ''You hearin´ this MF? '' and ''This ain´t over.''

''Father'' I say, with a slight tinge of awkwardness. I am still...somewhat angry with Aerion for kicking the shit out of me. Call me proud, but I don´t like getting put on my knees, it does feel quite humiliating. ''I am...not a good hunter.''

Aerion waved dismissively ''Nonsense my Son! Perhaps you are not so good at tracking game. But you are skilled enough at arms to kill it without a fuss once you find it. Hunt down a good prize and we can cook the meat and use the rest as a trophy !''

''Trophy ?'' I asked with some annoyance ''Rhaenys does not care for that, and neither do I...''

''Wrong.'' Rhaenys replied with a smug smirk ''I care about it very much if it gives you something to do besides get yourself drunk.''

Rhaenys. I am sending you to Brazil for that. I don´t have anything against the idea of hunting, not in the slightest. It´s simply that I really don´t like having my honorable duel to the death with Orys here interrupted. It feels wrong. As if I was cheating fate itself! This was not meant to Happen!

''You say that, but you´re not coming with me !''

My wife looked even more smug ''I am a pretty lady who truly needs her manly husband to protect her. Oh, dear Daeron, I could not imagine myself getting dirty with all the blood and gore and...filth of the woods. No, I think I´ll leave that part for you and enjoy the spoils. Seems fair.''

''Seems fair ?'' I echoed in disbelief. ''This is anything but fair! Visenya is going, Aegon is going, Father is going, Orys is going, Even I am going! Why are you the only one to do absolutely nothing and yet profit anyway ?''

''Life isn´t fair'' She replied ''I just know how to have things go my way. And I am not ashamed of it. Don´t resent me for it husband, It´s just how things are.'' Rhaenys kissed me on the cheek. ''I will make sure they go your way as well.''

I liked the kiss. But I still grumbled. I grumbled very much. I hate it when people abuse their privileges against me, only I am allowed to pull that move off. No one else, *No one else.*

...
I was riding my horse through the woods with Orys. Dragonstone has very few hunting grounds , considering that it´s a small island. And a very bleak island at that. But we can make due. It is in no way completely barren.

We had split up into two hunting groups. My father went with Aegon and Visenya. (Who used a bow for some reason, it did look kinda of cool to see her hold it, to be honest.) And I went with Orys. That might seem unfair until you remember Orys is a literal tank that can probably just one tap a boar with a punch. Our father is a very strong man, as I found out the very hard way, and Orys inherited all his muscle and more. Aegon is also quite muscular as well, but he simply does not compare to Orys. Orys is also the best fighter of us all. Visenya is probably the most skilled with a blade, but it´s not enough to compensate for the massive difference in strength and size. Sometimes, the bigger and stronger guy just wins. Especially because Orys is not at all bad with a sword in his hand. It is a complete tossup between Aegon and her, however. I´m not too bad myself, but I'm neither a ball of pure muscle or the guy who says ''While you slept I studied the blade.'' I can beat Visenya or Aegon , but it´s pretty much just predicated on being cheeky and tricking them in some way.

I´m carrying this spear around. It´s...weird. I was always kinda of a fan of spears in my first life. Thought they looked cool. But well...A dragon is far more useful then a melee weapon , and when it comes to melee weapons , I have a Valyrian steel sword. So there´s never been really an opportunity for me to use one. Still , I like them , and hunting with a spear is certainly much better then hunting with a sword. I´d use a bow if I weren´t drunk as fuck. The fact my thoughts are coherent right now is an honest achievement. Orys and I have both reached functional alcoholism. Nothing can faze us right !

Not really. Considering I puke and feel headaches from it. Not this time though ! This time I´m feeling perfectly well...just slightly dizzy.

''So , Daeron.'' Orys asked with a smirk ''We haven´t spoken much in a bit...how was your time with the crabs ?''

''It was...nice I suppose.'' I replied. The noise of the horse hooves crushing leaves and fallen tree branches is strangely satisfying for me. ''Lord Celtigar was lax. As long as I did my duties such as lessons and practicing at the Yard , he would mostly leave me to do as I wished'' I smirked at him ''And considering my drinking habits...You can just about guess how that went.'' I winked ''Rhaenys was not my first woman either.But you don´t need to tell that to her , I don´t plan on cheating.''

''Ah'' Orys laughed ''Drinking , fucking and fighting. The pleasures of life. Say , I never thought you would end up with whores.''

''No whores'' I say while shaking my head ''The girls went to my bed willingly and returned there with quite a lot of eagerness...'' I continue with tremendous confindence.

''Smooth talker are you ?'' Orys smiled warmly before having a more serious tone ''You did make sure they had moon tea afterwards ?''

I briefly stopped my horse to think. ''Most of the time I brought it myself...'' I replied carefully '' Sometimes I forgot...but my paramours surely had their own afterwards and...I did always...pull out...to make sure...There´s no risk of having a bastard.''

Orys shrugged ''Fair enough.''

''And how have you been Orys ? Well I hope.''

''You would be correct brother , the last years were kind to me.'' Orys replied cheerfully ''They were quite...calm I would say. Mostly training and hunting down outlaws for our father. You know how he wants me to be master at arms here after Ser Quenton , I hope to be up to the task. Aegon has some big Ideas you know ? ''

''More then you could Imagine brother.''

Orys laughed ''Truly ? As big as conquering kingdoms ? Aegon speaks of it all the time with me. He has his sights set on the riverlands , he means to oust Black Harren , other times he mentions the Stormlands.'' Orys seemed amused ''He tells me I would lead his armies on the ground , that I might even be named lord of some piece of land and wed some noble lady. Hahaha...I doubt it , what nobles would accept a bastard lord ?''

''All of them Orys. Dragons are very persuasive. And you are no weakling.''

''That I know'' He replied flexing his big ass muscles. ''I am most certainly *not* weak. HAHAHAHAAHAHAH''

''Hahaha...'' I laughed too , but a bit embarassed because uhhh...man...I do not even compare to this dude´s level of muscle. Jesus christ, he´s like the chad guy from the meme. I changed my tone to a serious one. Full of power and fury. ''Our drinking contest is not over.''

Orys turned to me , with the same expression. ''It is not.''

We rode on for some more time , until Orys suddenly stopped. ''Do you see that Daeron ?'' He asked while dismounting. I did the same , holding my spear and following him.

''See what ?''

He crouched and touched a muddy part of the ground ''Tracks. By the shape it is stag.''

''So , we catch Stag then ?''

''I am excellent at killing Stags'' He replied cheerfully ''I love the taste of the meat.''

Ironic. Very Ironic.

We took a lot of time to track that blasted thing down. I do mean a lot of time , the stag was very...evasive Is how I´d put it.

Orys and I eventually found the stupid animal. We hid in a bush and I handed him my spear. I *thought* Orys would try and run it down and stab the stag. But no , Orys just threw the thing and hit the animal right in the neck. The stag fell down *Instantly*. Dead. He was so insanely strong I almost had to clap , this dude could be in the olympics on any throwing sport.

We laughed and cheered for a bit , typical bro behavior. We then put the corpse of the stag on the back of my horse. We headed back to the castle ! Happy and satisfied , Orys entertained me with his many tales of tavern brawls.

When we got to the keep , we found a Weeping Rhaenys , Valaena and Visenya , Aegon and Aerion nowhere in sight.

Orys and I asked why. The answer was simple.

My father had been mauled by a fucking boar.

That hit me like a slap in the face.

...

Aerion asked to speak with all of his children one by one. As the youngest child , I was the last to be granted entrance to his room.

He laid in bed with bandages covering his chest. They were full of blood. He was a very strong man , but not now. It is...very sad. I feel quite perplexed here. Honestly. I never lost my first parents , my real parents. This is new to me. Aerion wasn´t really my dad...but he was the one that had filled the role for the last 14 years. He´s been my dad for almost as long as my actual dad.

I pulled a chair to set beside him.

''Father.'' I started. Unsure of what to say next.

''Son.'' He replied with a weak voice. Giving me a faint smile. He started coughing and I held his hand.

''Breathe father. Breathe.'' I squeezed it ''Take your time. Do not force yourself. You will get better. Just rest.''

Aerion put a hand on my cheek. Staring at me with eyes full of love. It is strange. I am not a good person. Or a nice one. I am an insufferable brat. But he still loves his son. I suppose the love of a father truly goes beyond reason.

''I won´t'' He replied ''This is the last time I will see you , son. The last time you will see me.''

''Yes. You won´t'' I said drily. If he does not want false comfort. Then I will not give it to him. I looked at his wounds again and spoke softly

''Does it hurt ?''

''Yes.'' He laughed before coughing. ''Very much so.''

''I suppose that was a...stupid question.'' I said awkwardly

''Perhaps'' He replied with some sarcasm.''The boar hit me in the guts. Yet I did not even finish him off. That was your sister. Visenya slew the beast and brought me here alongside Aegon.'' He looked on sad now ''Daeron. I am sorry. For leaving you when you are but a boy of four and ten. It is too early , too soon. I told Aegon and your mother to care for you Daeron. You are the youngest of my sons , the one most in need. Listen to me child.'' He gripped my hands with surprising strenght for a dying man. ''Your siblings will care for you. Aegon is a strong man , he will not let you fall to harm. Your mother will still be there for you. I will die , but I die knowing I left behind 5 strong children that will bring glory to our name. You were all born to be great. I know it. I can feel it in my bones.''

He coughed some blood. It fell right on my face. I wiped it away with the back of my hand. A maester came quickly to care for him. ''Do you not want milk of the poppy ? For the pain ?''

''No.'' Aerion said while the maester messed with his bandages ''It will take my wits from me , and that will not do. I wish to die knowing that I see my sons and daughters. That I see you.''

''Then do it.'' I answered. ''I will be here father. Until you go to rest.''

''Thank you.'' He replied in a whisper.

Aerion died 4 hours later.

...
Aerion was not buried. He was cremated that very same night. Ever the pragmatist , Aegon made sure to send ravens to all of our Vassals , informing them of our father´s passing and of his ascencion to the lordship of Dragonstone, and commanding them to come swear fealty. Though , by the time the message is delivered the funerall will already be over. That was intentional. These lords never knew Aerion as a father or as a husband. Only as liege. Aegon required of them submission , tribute and levies. Not faked tears and grief.

My father´s pyre was a haphazard thing , done almost in a rush. His body was cleaned and he had been dressed in bright black colors by order of Aegon. He laid atop a pile of wood , looking almost peaceful. He was not an old man , Aerion , He had conceived Orys at age 15 , that had been twenty years in the past. My father had died before reaching his 40´s.

Balerion raged with grief over the loss of his rider. Aegon thought it best to wait until the Black dread calmed itself before making a move to claim the Dragon , though he already wore Blackfyre in his hip. Thus , Vhagar was chosen to perform the burning. The smallest of our 4 dragons , though no less fierce then Meraxes or Shrykos. Losing out only to the Black Dread. Who could not and would not be matched by any Targaryen Dragon. In the future or in the past. Her scales were a bronze with some blue highlights and bright green eyes.

Though none of us received any specific instructions on wardrobe. Tradition and custom dictated Black doublets for men and Black dresses for women. Visenya had not cared for this however. She had taken the news of father´s death worse then any of us. Visenya still wore the same leathers she had gone with on the hunt , changing clothes did not seem of import to her. Rhaenys , who normally liked to show off and dress well , had gone for a black gown. But a simple and modest one. Without any jewels or ornaments or any of the sort. My mother had been much the same. Aegon , Orys and I essentially wore the same thing.

''Dracarys'' I heard Visenya say with a broken voice. Vhagar roared and shot a bronze flame at the pyre. It took only a second for the body of my father to be no more. My eldest sister cried much , so did Orys. Rhaenys cried a lot as well , even if not as much as Visenya. Aegon attempted to remain stone faced. But I saw a discreet tear roll down from his eye. I stared at the smoke that went into the starry night sky. I did not truly know how to react to this. Aerion was not my father...but he was at the same time. I might not have cried like my siblings did. But I felt his passing.

There was nothing to be said and thus all remained silent for a considerable amount of time. The only noises being those of the fire and the weeping.

Finally , Aegon broke it. ''All of you. To the stone drum with me.''

...
The Stone Drum received its name from the booming and rumbling its walls make during during storms. A high stone bridge arches over the yard to the massive tower.a large round room with black stone walls. Its four windows, tall and narrow, look out upon the points of a compass. Each window has wooden shutters and heavy velvet curtains, and the room has a hearth as well. It was completely emptied out I entered the room alongside my other siblings.

''I will have a table built here'' Aegon declared while looking outside. Where a storm began to rage.

''A table ?'' Visenya asked with disbelief. ''Our father lies dead and all you can think of is a table ?!''

''What is wrong with you Aegon !?'' Orys shouted with wrath.

Aegon winced. Looking hurt. Rhaenys was about to scream at him as well when I touched her on the shoulder to calm her down. ''Siblings , wait. Let him speak.''

''Thank you'' I heard him whisper back to me. Aegon cleared his throat and spent a moment looking at the four of us one by one. ''I grieve for our father. Like all of you.'' He declared before stopping for another moment to recompose himself.

''I will have a table built here.'' He repeated , still a bit uncertain. '' A rather large one. It will go from here.'' He began walking from one side of the room to the other. ''To here.''

''Yes'' Rhaenys snapped ''We have heard of your damned table. What is so special about it ?''

''It will be painted , to show a map of all Westeros. From the Wall to Dorne. From Pyke to Storm´s end and from the Eyrie to the Arbor.Every hill and every forest , every river and every keep. But it will have no borders.''

''Why ? Westeros has seven kingdoms.'' Visenya asked drily.

''But it should not be so.'' Aegon said , growing more Impassioned now. ''I say it should be only one Kingdom. *Our* Kingdom.''

My siblings gasped at the audacity. I remained quiet , looking straight at Aegon´s eyes. I knew this would come eventually , but it is not the same as living it in the flesh.

''Westeros is a rich land.'' He continued , walking around the room. ''The Reach , has food , drink and luxury , the Westerlands has gold , The Iron Islands is full of mines with tin , lead and Iron , The North has wool and wood , and so on and so forth. Yet it is wasted. Wasted in the hands of petty lords and ladies, fools taken by foolish things like lover´s quarrels. Lackwits that hide behind lineages of no import , that cannot see that which is in front of them. That fight tooth and nail to protect this or that minor privilige. The wealthies lands of the known world , ruled by the least deserving of them.'' Aegon shook his head violently in disgust. ''We are the last Dragonlords of the world. A traveler can go from Ulthos to beyond the sunset sea and he will only find Dragons here. With us. We are meant for more , so much more , then to sit in this small island in the sea, to sit by the sidelines watching our wealthy neighbors to the west , or to chase the poisonous dream of old Valyria. Enough. We are more capable then the lords of Westeros and we are more powerful then them. I say we take their lands , I say we take Westeros.''

''Take all seven !?'' Rhaenys asked with shock ''I could understand taking one or two , but all seven !?''

It can be done'' Visenya said. Now interested. ''We have Dragons , they do not.'' The Idea seemed to work itself in the mind of Rhaenys.

''It *will* be done'' Aegon replied ''And I will make sure all those who follow me are rewarded. Lands and titles in the new Kingdom.'' He said it while Looking Orys.

''Me ?'' My eldest brother asked with disbelief ''You would...truly do that ?''

''I would give you the rule over all that was once part of one of these Old Kingdoms'' Aegon replied. Orys suddenly began to smile.

''What about me and Daeron ?'' Rhaenys asked , and I saw ambition in her eyes ''You would not leave us with nothing ?''

''He will not'' I said drily.

''I will not'' Aegon confirmed , and I felt Rhaenys gripping my arm tightly. I could feel some satisfaction coming from her.

''All of the Kings of Westeros will have their crowns sweeped from over their head and forced to kneel, all those who resist will be crushed beneath our feet, their lands , fields and halls will all belong to us. Our words will be law , all that live in Westeros will live by the shadow of our Dragons , they will hail our names wherever we walk and fight for our approval. Not a single fief will escape our rule. Not. A. Single. One.'' Aegon spat ''Seven Kingdoms ? No. It is Our Kingdom. They just do not know it yet.''

Chapter Text

Rhaenys is greedy.

Greedy like a loan shark.

Truly, my family has mastered the art of having the most comically evil setup possible. We could not have worse optics than what is happening right now. We need that Soviet PR team to solve this issue, anything that harms or degrades us in any way is Capitalist propaganda and the actions of infiltrated double agents.

Just look at it this way.

1-We live in a castle that could have come straight out of Mordor.

2-We have long lost magic that we keep isolated from the rest of the world.

3-We are currently plotting an unprovoked war of aggression. Aegon´s casus belli very much is just ''Y`all suck, I would do better. Now I will take what I want because I can''

4-Aegon gave his evil speech during a storm.

5-We are incestuous degenerates who don´t want to ''Mingle'' with ''Lessers''.

6-We´re ungodly attractive. You just know every good villain has a look to make the guys/gals melt.

Can´t say I mind being the bad guy in all this however, the people we´re going to invade are also complete assholes. Black Harren will surely not be missed.

Really, I did not know my *dear* wife was half as grasping as she actually is. I am very impressed by it. Truly. Takes a special kind of woman to think of herself as kindhearted while also...well, I think it´s best I just describe the scene right here.

We are in our bedchambers. It´s night and raining outside (Because of course It is.) She is in her nightgown/Medieval pajamas (Looking good....) lying on her belly with a map of Westeros. She was running her fingers on it very slowly and very smoothly. I heard her mumble here and there, but she always had a happy little smile that you would think belonged to a teen girl getting a cell phone or something. Her eyes are shining with delight. What Rhaenys is actually doing, is plotting mass murder. That´s a turn on for me.

My ass just wants to sleep. I understand why she´s behaving how she´s behaving, but I´ve already had years to think about lands and lordships and bla bla bla, I have heard Arguments about being granted one place over the other before she even thought of them. I really don´t care about what she´s saying.

''Rhaenys'' I say lazily, with my eyes closed. ''Please, let me sleep. You´re making too much noise.''

She smiled at me ''Brother....come here please, look at these things with me...''

''No.'' I reply ''Close your eyes and sleep, sweet sister.''

Rhaenys rolled her eyes ''Husband, how can you be so uncaring about this? Conquering seven kingdoms...If we succeed ...can you even imagine what we will gain from that ? The Reach, or the Westerlands...Lands, titles, wealth...we will not rely on our elder siblings anymore! Our Children will be mighty lords and, who knows, If we have a daughter, we could even make her a Queen!''

My sister ran her fingers across the map again With a comically greedy smirk, the type of thing you´d see from bankers.

I laughed ''You certainly have high ambitions Rhaenys. What happened to my younger sister who thought that war was horrifying again? When I came from the stepstones you were singing a very different tune.'' I get closer to her. Awww she looks so cute plotting war crimes and systemic oppression. Really, the fact she´s hot and pleasant to be around while also being unrepentantly evil as hell is endearing to me. Not to the poor people in the Planky town or in Dorne, but for me? Well, I suppose she meets my *type*.

Rhaenys looked at me with an annoyed gaze. ''I was a child worried whether you´d come back from that madness in the stepstones. Besides, it is not our fault that Aegon decided on this invasion, is it so bad if we get something from it instead of everyone losing? Think about our future children...or just think about us! There is nothing wrong with what I am doing. Some will die but...tragedies happen all the time and this is not *our* fault.'' She huffed ''When did you become so judgmental of me? We will just be the best rulers to whichever lands we gain control over, husband. Kind but fair. Everyone will love us !'' Rhaenys looked genuinely offended. Where I´m from, we call that thin skin.

I played with her hair gently.''Calm down Rhaenys'' I snickered ''I was just asking, you do not need to get so bothered by it. I don´t mind going to war...In fact, I rather enjoy it , but that´s beside the point.'' I kissed her in the cheek and she looked at me with a happy smile. She´s just so damn *cute* Wanna squeeze her like a teddy bear. ''I was just making the observation dear Sister, it does feel somewhat...out of character for you.''

Rhaenys had the same comically greedy look. I struggled not to laugh in her face when she did it. Genuinely looked like a cartoon villain, Rhaenys hittin´ me with that Scrooge McDuck look. ''Really? But why? I know I was never one for fighting...I suppose I still am not, but just because I can´t hold up a sword very well doesn´t mean I´m weak! Meraxes will take care of everything for me!'' She giggled ''Oh...It will be so good brother'' She put the palm of her hand on the map ''A whole kingdom...right in our hands....''

I smirked and replied teasingly ''You seem a bit too eager, what if Aegon gives us just the Iron Isles and nothing else? I know I would like the experience....''

Rhaenys went pale with horror ''HE WOULDN´T DARE !'' Rhaenys took a deep breath to calm herself ''Do not...joke about such things brother, please? Do you want to give me nightmares ?'' She shuddered ''Being surrounded by those...Barbarians...Ewwww...'' Rhaenys looked at me a bit more seriously now ''Listen here Daeron, we will make some changes when we take Westeros all right? The first thing I want gone are the..how to do the Ironborn call it again..uhm...''

''Salt wives.'' I finished for her

''Yes !'' Rhaenys finished eagerly ''Thank you, brother. I want those *Gone*. I also do not like how men can beat their wives to death for infidelity, I want that *gone* too.''

Rhaenys the reformer ? That sounds...fine, I guess.

''I don´t know why you are saying this to me. Aegon will be king, he is the one that will make laws...But I can guarantee one thing to you Rhaenys, I will make sure we get something good. The Westerlands or perhaps the Reach, maybe even the Riverlands. But we will not go Landless. I will see to it, do not worry.''

Believe it or not, friends, while I do not want to have the work of ruling, I want all the benefits that come with having a big castle/lordship. Call me a hypocrite, but don´t call me a liar. I ain´t hiding it

She smirked ''Thank you brother...now listen here...''

Rhaenys then made me stare at a map while she plotted. And I do mean plot in the literal sense of the word. Rhaenys is as power-hungry as they come, holy shit. Unfortunately for her, I´ve had literal years of internal dialogue about the conquest, so nothing that she said was new to me, in any way. But hey plotting with my hot AF Wife while in the safety of the lair of evil was quite fun. I have even gotten over the sisterfucking aspect of all this and just learned to enjoy the ride.

Is Rhaenys the baddie ? Yes.

On both senses of the word.

...

Aegon is a very pragmatic man. And we learned that quickly now that he is the lord of Dragonstone.

Our vassals have all sworn their oaths to him, he has already begun the construction of the painted table. claimed Balerion, and is hard at work earning the respect and loyalty of those around him. The one thing he has absolutely no patience for is copper counting. He is willing to force himself to sit on Dragonstone´s great hall and to deliver some judgments here and there, but he lets Visenya and I do that most of the time. Orys enforces his commands and Rhaenys is the one in charge of getting goodwill from everyone around.

It is a very fair work Dynamic, all things considered.

It is however a pretty horrifying sight to anyone when they see that they´re about to get judged by me.

I am a harsh judge.

And I do believe in the death penalty.

I tried to use burnings as a punishment, but even Visenya was repulsed. So we have beheadings and I wield the sword.

Ned Stark would be proud.

Ironically, I am actually quite sure I was right on most counts of my guilty verdicts. I don´t go out of my way to condemn innocent people, It´s more I operate on a ''Guilty until proven innocent'' Type of mentality. I am not arbitrary, I swear.

If I were, Aegon would have taken me out of the job.

But then again

Does he even pay attention to these things?

Eh

Prolly not.

He´s only been lord for like two weeks, he´s got more urgent matters to solve.

But It was on one of these days when I was sitting in that big ass throne, speaking in my brother´s name and overall having a pretty nice time with the occasional wine cup. That I saw these two Essosi Fellers walking in. By their fine clothes, I could easily tell they were either rich merchants or important people that I shouldn´t offend or Aegon would be mad at me.

''Greetings'' I spoke trying to sound serious ''I am Daeron Targaryen and I speak in the name of the Lord of Dragonstone. State your mind and I shall hear it.''

The essosi looked at each other nervously before clearing their throats to speak. ''Ahem. We...are...Envoys from the free city of Braavos...It is a pleasure to meet you...Lord Daeron...but...We were led to believe that it was Lord Aerion who ruled here ?''

I narrowed my eyes with anger at the mention of my father. ''My Sire perished some time ago. I can...forgive you two for not knowing. My brother Aegon rules here now. And I speak with his voice. Say. Your. Mind.''

They looked even more anxious at my aggressive tone. But continued speaking ''The Sealord of Braavos is begging for assistance against Volantis and...''

At that point

I stopped hearing and just grinned.

YES

YES

YES

BURN

MURDER

KILL!

WAR CRIMES!

''Great rewards..'' He finished

''I will bring this matter to my brother.'' I say as sweetly as possible ''Some rooms will be found for you , Servants will take care of your belongings. If you two have need of anything.''

''Thank you my lord.''

...

Humans are stubborn creatures.

Volantis has once again began their bullshit ''We ArE ThE HeIrS To VaLyRIA''

Once again

No one agreed.

Once again It´s

Volantis

vs

Braavos, Pentos, Lys , Myr, Tyrosh, MF´n Argillac again, and Qohor.

I wonder, how can someone be so based as to begin a war against this massive coalition? They gotta stop , I can only like them so much. These Mf´s have balls of Valyrian steel.

I got very lucky too.

Visenya was off counting coppers (Poor her) , Orys was fighting bandits or some shit and Rhaenys was with the Smallfolk doing Rhaenys things like giving them food. Meaning I was the first to get to Aegon and tell him about this.

''AGAIN ?!'' He told me without bothering to restrain his annoyance ''I grow tired of these Volantenes.'' He declared through gritted teeth.''I cannot focus on the west while these curs breathe down on our necks from the east. Essos is better when it is broken into pieces,Dragonstone was once part of the freehold, will these fools come after it eventually?'' He closed his fist ''Enough. Daeron, I will mount Balerion and destroy their fleets. That will teach them to stop and be content.''

''Brother...'' I said softly and sweetly ''I beg you to reconsider...let me go there instead...''

Aegon frowned ''Why ?''

Because I want to burn shit down brother. IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE!

Unfortunately, that Is not the type of argument that works with Aegon.

''Well, you are a new lord , Our Vassals need to see you. I fight in your name, a Victory by my hand is the same as a Victory by your hand.'' I lost some...control now.'' Please Aegon, I am begging. I have never failed you in anything before and I have defeated Volantis in the Stepstones before, I promise you that I will not lose...Although I would ask you to let me use Uncle Daemon´s fleet...''

Aegon took what seemed like an eternity in thought, I might have even made puppy eyes.

Pls let me do war crimes bro

''Yes,'' Aegon replied. ''You can go.''

...

I walked into my bedroom , where Rhaenys was.

''Oh husb-''

''YES ! HELL YEAH !'' I said while jumping ''HEY COME ON BABY COME ON YES !'' Rhaenys looked at me as if I were deranged until I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her on the lips full of passion.

''Where is my eyepatch Rhaenys ?'' I ask searching all over the place for the blasted thing ''Ah, here it is!''

''Daeron...are you...feeling alright ?'' She asked with concern

''Better than ever Rhaenys , better than ever.''

This is a mission for Daeron Crow´s eye.

Step I-Call Uncle Daemon and his fleet.

Step 2-Convince Lysandro Saan and his stepstone pirates using my Euron charisma to join me..,

Step 3- Fly to Lys and stop the Volantene fleet.

Step 4- ?????

Step 5- WE SACK VOLANTIS!

Oh my god, It´s been so long, Since last I´ve seen my love , my dear war crimes, how I miss the smell of burned flesh and ash , the sight of burned buildings and the fire...how beautiful is fire...and the screams of the civilian populace as I commit indiscriminate massacres....

Corporal

How can it be a war CRIME...

If I loved doing it ?

Let me just put this eyepatch here and turn into the worst (best) version of myself!

Chapter Text

Perhaps we can all fly.

Yes

Even you.

How can We know unless we jump from some tall tower?

After all, if Shrykos can fly, why can´t I? Because physics told me I cannot? I reject Physics, I reject learning, I reject society. All that matters is tangible reality, everything else is a mental construct, a form of shackle, a prison. A prison for the mediocre, those who cannot handle the world as it truly looks like, who cannot handle how infinitesimally small and irrelevant the human being is in the face of the cosmos, who need to seek refuge in lies such as good, evil, gods, laws, and society.

Gods are lies and men are meat.

It means I cannot handle the chattering and endless bickering of lesser men, those who do not see reality like I see, those who are blind to its horrors and wonders, the abominations of Old Valyria that were born from sacrilegious rituals and human sacrifice to the power of blood magic...they are all sheep. Sheep that band together and ''ba'' to grant themselves false comfort until the cruel monstrosities of death, illness, and simple bad luck come to claim them and take them down to nothingness, for there are no seven hells or anything of the sort, after death there is Silence.

But not me, Crow´s eye I name myself, and who has a farther sight than the crow? After each massacre of sheep, I come to feast on their flesh and bones, and I see that Volantis is ready to die, all it needs is a little incentive. I will feast till the end of my days.

''Nephew'' My Uncle Daemon says with caution ''It has been some time...I see you...wear an eyepatch now ?''

''It is because I am the Crow´s eye, Nuncle,'' I reply with barely concealed annoyance at this ignorant inferior. I will have him sacrificed for my eldritch plans. ''Enough formalities. How many ships have you brought me?' I asked whilst looking at the Docks of Dragonstone. Aegon has reluctantly called the levies after I insisted. He had thought that simply having a Dragon would be enough to defeat Volantis in Lys. And he was correct. But I have greater ambitions than that, the oldest child of Valyria will burn for my own advancement. All they have will be mine. Dragonstone has but 2.000 men. Driftmark has more with the sellswords and sells sails that my uncle is willing to buy, yet that does not matter when we have Dragons. However, since we are sending soldiers from Dragonstone, that means Orys is coming with me, and that is good.

I like Orys.

''50.'' My uncle replied ''Some longships , others warships.''

''Good''

''Nephew...'' Daemon starts, embarrassed ''Please...remove that ...eyepatch it is...It makes taking you seriously very ... difficult.''

I narrow my smiling eye, perhaps this fool knows something, for he immediately backs away after that ''Nuncle. How I choose to...present myself...is not of your concern. Remember that I am your commander, not your nephew. You will do as I say. Are we understood ?''

''Yes.''

''Good...'' I replied, softening my tone ''How is Aethan ?''

Daemon smiled a bit ''I left him in Driftmark with Ser Jacaerys. My son will take care of everything there, I am sure.''

''Excellent...'' I smile ''Uncle, tell me, what do you think we are to do in the free cities?''

Daemon frowned ''I was told we were to stop a Volantene invasion in Lys.''

''You would be correct of course but...would you be opposed to going a bit...farther ?'' Daemon narrowed his eyes with suspicion ''Nothing treasonous dearest uncle , nothing at all...it would be a very profitable expedition I assure you...'' I saw my uncle get tempted. He has always been a greedy man.

''How profitable ?"' He asks with caution ''And you assure me this is not some mad scheme of yours ?''

What is sanity uncle?

Madness is seeing the world without anything to cover it up, and coming back to tell the tale.

''Enough gold for you to build a palace of it'' I reply with a soft smile ''And there is nothing disloyal about this, we will, after all, be fighting Volantis as my brother told us to. We will even stop that Lyseni invasion...we will just...go a bit further afterwards...''

AWWW GOD FUCKING DAMNIT THIS EYEPATCH IS ITCHY...

*Ahem*

I broke character for a bit.

Lemme just adjust this thing...

All right...

perfect now.

''Tell me ?'' Uncle Daemon asked me

I gave him the sweetest softest smile ''We sack Volantis, dear uncle.''

He seemed shocked. This fool cannot understand the insignificance of his foe, nor his own meaninglessness, he ought to be grateful I do not have him tied to Shrykos and sacrificed to awaken the monsters in the deep.

''Volantis has the biggest armies and fleets in the world! Have you gone mad nephew ?!''

''But we have five times the courage and seven times their wit, and a Dragon. The Volantene army is stretched thin from all sides, they face Myr, Pentos, and Tyrosh in the disputed lands, Qohor fights them on the river Rhoyne, and Lys is also under attack. We will stop them at Lys and sail to their walls before these Volantenes even know what is happening. And we will not be alone either, I will convince our old friend in the stepstones, Lysandro Saan, and his pirates to come with us. And, after we save the Lyseni, do you not think they will wish for vengeance against their invaders? They will come with us as well. Do not fret dear uncle, in our veins is the blood of Old Valyria, not milk.''

''But still..the risk...''

''Is nothing when compared to the reward.'' I reply harshly ''And I am not asking you to follow me, I am commanding you. I am not a child anymore, You do as I say, not the other way around. Aegon is your liege lord and he has granted me command here, refusing my orders is the same as refusing his, and a man who does not obey his liege is a traitor, to have his life forfeit, his family exiled and his lands and incomes seized. Remember that.'' Uncle Daemon seemed taken aback. Good. I am essentially a teen, so it is understandable that people would have some ... trouble following me without question on this plan. So at the same time that I don´t want to be seen as weak, I also don´t want to be hated. So uhh let me give him a bone ''However, When we succeed, not if, but when, I can assure you will receive a third of the plunder. Enough Gold and wealth for you to live as a king for the rest of your days...''

My Uncle still seemed tense, but the possibility of that much gold was... enticing for him. The fool does not understand that only Eldritch power matters, material wealth is...meaningless. (Cry, Marx and his Historical materialism can cry.)

''Brother !'' I heard the cheerful voice of Orys Baratheon behind me. I turned to gaze at him and saw my Half-brother turn to a more formal tone once he noticed my Uncle Daemon. For obvious reasons, my Uncle does not like Orys. ''Lord Velaryon'' he said, sounding respectful and proper, but neither meek nor intimitaded. My uncle did not reply to Orys, simply nodding his head in acknowledgment.

Orys cleared his throat ''Anyways...I have prepared the supplies brother, I have also sent those ravens to the stepstones that you asked for.''

''Good,'' I reply cheerfully. ''Very good.''

Orys frowned ''Brother wh-''

''DO NOT'' I interrupt him violently ''Do not ask about the eyepatch.''

''Fine...I suppose....''

''It better be fine Orys, It better be.''

Otherwise, you become Kraken food.

Ok, I got to take this shit off my eye when no one is looking, It fucks over my depth perception, this leather is itchy, and just ... THIS CRAP SUCKS!

But I gotta do it for the drip.

Also because the best way to speak with Pirates, is by being Euron Greyjoy. Gotta get in character for the performance

We started sailing to the Stepstones, it is a pretty natural place to stop, after all, it´s pretty much just on the way to Lys. I will obviously succeed in convincing our drug pirate lord to join me in my rightful cause against Volantis. This dude is a freak of nature, after 5 years in the stepstones, he commands a fleet of 150 ships(Counting all the other pirate captains in the stepstones). Now, these ships are almost all smaller vessels made for robbing people, but it is still an insane amount. I suppose if you just put all the pirates and scum of the world together, they are actually capable of doing something.

Oh right, I just need to warn Orys not to...accept any of Lysandro´s gifts. Ain´t no way I´m letting my brother be a drug addict. I don´t care if it´s ''A small amount'' Drugs are drugs, and drugs suck.

...
I forgot how earthly these people here are...so small...insignificant. Irrelevant. I could promise them Dragons and they would have chosen grapes.

Lysandro Saan has constructed his own shitty castle here in the stepstones. Nothing more than a wooden ramshackle. When I bring about the Long Night and tear down the wall from the north, I will make my castle from bodies, my throne from skulls, and my roofs from bones.

I walk in, looking confident. I have told Orys and Daemon to wait on the ships whilst I speak. There were some protests, mostly from Orys who worried about me being in danger near such degenerated company. But he forgets, I am not in danger, I am the danger.

Inside the ''castle'', If you want to call this trash a castle, Is Lysandro and his bunch of scum. They sit at a long table, the drug pirate himself has a pipe in his mouth, and from his eyes, I can tell this guy is not in his best mental state. To be fair, they are all pirates here. When I was younger and met Saan for the first time, I found him disgusting and hated him, not for his evil, but for some unknown reason I cannot stand to be near this guy or to think about it. Oh well. He is not madder than me anymore, for I am the crow´s eye, the maddest of them all.

''Your grace'' I say with a bitter taste of the tongue. This freak in front of me isn´t a King.

''Daeron my boy !'' He says with a strange Essosi tone. I almost cringe at the lack of formality. I am not on first-name terms with this...dude. ''How have you been? Did you enjoy the...gift I gave you all those years ago ?''

''It was quite useful'' I reply drily. That´s not wrong, drugs have their...uses...especially when you give it to other people in order to destroy them physically and emotionally.

I am also very happy that the pirates are the only people not to question my eyepatch. Makes sense.

The pirate king laughed and then smoked some more. ''Would you like more of it ?''

''No,'' I reply, as dry as a desert. ''If we may skip all these... pleasantries and get to the point...I would offer all of you a very lucrative proposition...''

''Which would be ?'' Saan asked , bored with long words like the illiterate idiot he is.

I cleared my throat and tried speaking confidently ''Sacking Volantis. We can split the spoils evenly.''

The captains looked at me as if I were insane. ''Sacking Volantis? Have you lost your wits? You promise us only ruin !''

Fun fact.

Adjust the way you speak to your audience.

It will do wonders for all of you whenever you need to convince someone.

''No.'' I replied fiercely ''I promise you all blood, gold, and glory.''

The captains frowned ''Blood, Gold, and glory ?''

I nodded and got ready for Euron Kingsmoot speech mode. I even get up on the table

''Yes, Blood, Gold, and Glory.''

''Blood, Volantene blood, for all your brethren Slain. Or have you all already forgotten when Volantis ruled these islands? That it was my uncle and me who fought them off? Have you all already forgotten how Volantis ruled the narrow sea and cracked down on your piracy? That they slew your friends and brothers , that they stripped you of your loot? Volantis now wages war on all sides, their armies stretched thin, will these dogs be allowed to rise again, so they may come back to the Stepstones and crush your crews ?''

''Gold, That I promise as well, enough gold so that every man may live and die a king. Enough gold to fill chests and ships alike, so much of it that there will not be enough things to spend it in. Volantis is the wealthiest city in the world, the eldest child of Valyria, they collect Valyrian steel like most collect coppers and have enough gold to flood their streets with it and then some. And it will belong to whoever is willing to seize it...or is brave enough for it''

''Glory, for looting the greatest city in the world is surely a much grander feat than attacking small little merchant ships. It is of course a harder task and, perhaps, some here are too craven or too weak for the task. But for those who are not, your names will be written into legend until the end of all times.''

''Volantis has troops in the disputed lands in the Rhoyne, we sail to Lys, defeat their invasion there, and then set forth to the city proper. It is a Juicy plum waiting to be taken. Remember that you will have a dragon beside you''

''We will crush their armies, tear down their walls, loot their lands, take their gold and their silver...I SAY WE TAKE IT ALL !''

''Every man that follows me will end with a blade wetted in Volantene blood, wealth that blows away even his wildest dream and his place in the sun. You will all feast until the end of your days.*THAT* is my promise to all of you''

From the cheers and screams of excitement, I can tell that the people here have been convinced.

I don´t know if the fact that rapists and marauders are the type of people that my charisma appeals to is good or bad, but I know it is convenient.

Then again.

They´re drug addicts.

Risk assessment isn´t exactly their thing.

I just kinda gave them all the things they like. The promise of money , murder, and their weird reputation thing.

Lysandro Saan was grinning from ear to ear

''Would you like a drink ?'' He asked with madness.

''Shade of the evening.''

I am throwing this eyepatch away afterwards, this shit is controlling my mind.

Chapter Text

I AM THE STORM THAT IS APPROACHING!

No time for wittiness good sirs, Clock is runnin' on fumes right now. We set sail from the stepstones to Lys pretty much as soon as all the pirate fleets were ready. We came from Dragonstone with 2k soldiers under the command of Orys and 1k under Daemon, we acquired 6k pirates in the Stepstones and uncle Daemon also used the time to buy up some extra 1k sellswords. So we have 10k more or less. Truly absurd how many stepstone pirates there are around these parts. But then again, we have quite literally scrapped the barrel, there is no one else after this. Zero, Null, nothing. Dragonstone isn´t exactly manpower-heavy, neither is Driftmark.

We got here to Lys a bit...late...the attack is happening. It´s happening right now. So maybe, under a different light, you could say I´m right on time. But that´s not what I care about, that´s not what I care about in the slightest, I´m here to burn people and then steal things. Perfectly reasonable and appropriate.

I can tell you one thing, here from above, Lys is quite pretty. The reaction of the populace as they see me flying up here, thinking I´m about to save their asses while their own armies are getting shit on is pretty amusing. I´m Tony Stark. But seriously, Volantis OP. Lys is one of the more populous of the free cities, they can probably raise up 10-15k soldiers, but they´re getting shit on by Volantis. Because Volantis is based. Well, more like Volantis forces their slave colonies to fight for them, but we don´t need to get into that mess. That´s a bit dark...

But not even close to the darkest thing to ever happen in colonies. Search up King Leopold II of Belgium in the Congo, he certainly...armed...his country. Yep. Enough hands on deck for thousands of ships, with a surplus to nail to trees.

Personally, I don´t like that type of war crime. I can see the appeal, but it´s just not for me. I´m more of the mass murder/indiscriminate burning type. We throw around the word Genocide a lot, but it doesn´t really fit. Because genocide implies that I am specifically targeting a group or a people, and that´s not true, I will attack men and women of all races and ethnicities!

We are all equal!

Equally flammable that is

*Whistles cheerfully* Time to get back to work! Man, I have missed slaughter after so many years of Peace. I don´t want peace, I want problems, always. The only thing that compares to roasting men in tin suits as if they were Thanksgiving Turkey that Americans like so much is flying, fucking, and drinking. Though I will admit a certain fondness for reading whenever I feel in the right mood for it.

I will make my Serbian ancestors proud this day, may Radovan Karadžić smile at me from the very hot hell he must be burning in. My Soviet/Russian side will also be pleased, Papa Stalin will surely approve of the execution of these Slavist Burgeoisie pigs. They don´t even have workers' rights! RAISE THE HAMMER AND RAISE THE SICKLE! FOR THE MOTHERLAND!

And for my Targ side? Well. I´m setting records boys. Dragon´s wroth won´t be anything compared to my power, Aegon just wasn´t skilled enough at war crimes. Visenya eventually got better as the reign of Maegor the base shows, but even then she just can´t compare to my raw eastern European/Balkan power. It´s just too much. In this timeline, people like Daemon and Maegor will look to me as the shining example and ideal.

Anyways, enough rambling, let us get to setting things aflame, shall we? I find it a most judicious proposition.

I look down, towards my fleet. We have more Longships, built for speed and raiding instead of battle , then warships. Most of the longships came from Lysandro Saan and his stepstone pirates. They are very small, like 30 to 40 oars small. But they will suffice. Uncle Daemon is in command of the Velaryon ships, Orys is kinda out of his game here. Dude isn´t a sailor, but hey, he´s trying and I can see he´s got a big sword in his hand.

The Volantenes are quite close to making a landing. Despite being pelted by arrows, javelins, spears, and even some rocks that are thrown from the walls by the Lyseni. Unfortunately, the ships from Volantis are big and I do mean *BIG* Warships. Kinda similar to the Trireme of the Romans (Well Greek and phoenician but the Romans yoinked it). They have three rows of oars, meaning that the average ship here has 170 Rowers and 200 total people in it. Pretty nice. The mast is also gigantic and the sails have this pretty cool symbol of a tiger, though some others use Skulls and crowns. Pretty metal if I do say so myself.

Time to kill them all.

I sent my faster ships to cut off the escape routes first of course, not to actually fight as my shitty longships would get smashed by the GOD TIER Volantene vessels. And I don´t really like the idea of taking casualties. So yeah, all they´ll do is not let anyone get away.

My bigger warships are still kinda...mid when compared to the stuff Volantis has, but they´re not so shitty they´ll get immediately sunk. And they´ll have the cover of a dragon, and the support of the local garrison that is adopting the common COD technique of Spray and pray.

Everything in order...oh no oh wait, I forgot my eyepatch !

Let me put it on...

Oh yeah...

Much better now!

*Breathe in*

*Breathe out*

Time to meet thy maker.

''KAMEHAM-'' Oh wait ''DRACARYS !''

Shrykos roars with delight and immediately begins blasting. I see the golden colored flames come out her mouth , much to the cheer of the Lyseni at the walls and to the absolute horror of the Volantenes, they begin shooting their pathetic projectiles that have absolutely no effect on her. I hear the screams of horror , I see the fear in their eyes and I smell the fire...the sweet smell of fire....

haha

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

YEAH YEAH YEAHHHHHHH

BURN BURN BURN

DIE DIE DIE

MAWHAHAHAHAHAH

EMBRACE THE FLAMES! THIS IS OPERATION ROLLING THUNDER ALL OVER AGAIN!

I shoot some more flames, incinerating some more poor poor fools who were not blessed enough to comprehend the wisdom of the flames. Fire is the only god that matters, for, if the seven were really so powerful why did they do nothing to Balerion while he destroyed their septs ? Because fire was there. The Old gods don´t even need to be mentioned, they are completely vulnerable to the flames.

The red god was intelligent enough to see the wisdom of fire , yet he was foolish in attempting to harness it. To control it. The flames must go wherever they want . embrace the suck.

The Drowned god was intelligent enough to seek protection in the waters....scamp

In hindsight, all of humanity owes its existence to fire. And that was recognized by the ancients, was it not the stealing of the torch by Prometheus that made us all wise? Was it not Surtr´s shining sword of fire from Muspelheim that brought about the end of Asgard?

Fire brought us cooked food, shelter against the dark, and warmth in the winter.

All other gods are false. Fire is the real powerhouse.

SO COME WITH ME! COME WITH ME INTO THE FIRE!

From the flames and ashes we came...and to them we shall return.

But some sooner than others, of course

My flames burn hotter than those of the seven hells, for I love my job very much.

FUCK IT I WANT MORE.

I quite literally land Shrykos on top of one of the Ships, her claws crushing the deck and causing massive waves. ''BURN THEM ALL !'' Despite it not being the command word , Shrykos and I have a good bond. We understand each other´s needs and she knows that I mean to murder just from my tone! I look on with glee at the charred corpses that have become completely unrecognizable, some of them even have their bones melted down! I just got close so that I could see the look of despair up close when my enemies are confronted with the flames of justice and enlightenment!

''I AM THE CROW´S EYE! MWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA BURN BURN BURNNNNNNN !''

fun fact.

that nickname

has officially caught on

unironically

the Lyseni that are at the walls have heard me scream it and now they´re chanting it. I am kinda of like a superhero to them right now , considering that I´m saving them from the Slavist Volantenes that want to oppress them. And I´m doing it atop a golden dragon. Really, optics are on my side right now.

''CROW´S EYE !''

''CROW´S EYE !''

''BURN THEM ALL !''

''NO MERCY !''

''HAIL! HAIL !''

God damn it...

I called myself Crow´s eye for the memes...I didn´t want this crap to actually catch on...Daeron Crow´s eye does not sound as cool as Euron Crow´s eye. Though I suppose I kinda am insane like him, so it fits in that sense.

I wanted a nickname more along the lines of Daeron the Glorious or Daeron the Burner Daeron the Dragon something like that.

Fuck this shit...

''DRACARYS !''

Burning some more ships does make my mood just that much better you know, truly therapeutic. A motherfucking Arrow hits me on the cheek and leaves a little cut in it. I am fucking pissed, naturally. So I fly up and, instead of burning the ship of the guy that shot me, I make it capsize with Shrykos and let them drown to death. What is dead stays dead in this case.

The Volantenes try to run but, alas, they are met by the ships I had sent to cut off the escape routes. I even see Orys kill one or two Volantenes , how nice.

Anyways, they are stuck like rats in a jar, let me finish murdering them properly. Afterwards, I´ll get a hero´s welcome by the Lyseni ! Because even villains like me can do something heroic from time to time. My very next move will be to use their obvious resentment against Volantis to persuade them into joining the Sack ! Because that is perfectly reasonable and not manipulative.

anyways

''BURN THEM ALL !''

Chapter Text

''Our expenses have gone down.'' Visenya Targaryen stated drily whilst staring at a ledger. She was in her solar, alongside her sister. Performing the one job that none of her siblings seemed to enjoy: Ruling. ''But so have incomes. With Daeron having taken the levies, those who would normally be trading are stuck home, for the crops.''

Rhaenys sipped some wine, with her own parchments in hand ''But that still seemed good to me. When he comes back with the levies, our incomes will go back to normal and our expenses will continue lower, we´ll be making more money.'' Rhaenys snickered ''Who knew that being as prudish as Aegon and not using a single penny could be good for something ?''

''Perhaps'' Visenya replied ''Depends on how many casualties he sustains, and especially on how many return mutilated. Families drop all they are doing to take care of cripples''

''Oh...'' Rhaenys said with a disappointed tone ''But...it should still average out positevely right ?''

''Most likely.'' Visenya begrudindgly admitted.

Rhaenys smiled and laughed, giving her sister a kiss on the cheek ''See? I´m always right Senya, just accept it.''

Visenya rolled her eyes ''Keep that attitude under control. Arrogance leads to an early grave.''

Rhaenys giggled ''So grim! Why can´t you liven up ?''

''Because of that'' She said while pointing at a pile of ledgers and parchments and in general boring administrative work. But no matter how annoying, dull, or boring, Visenya would never shy away from her duty. Every problem had to be dealt with head-on, the same way she dealt with threats to her family. Nothing and no one had the right to cause even the slightest harm to her siblings. Visenya would destroy anything that tried.

Rhaenys groaned in annoyance ''I suppose that is a *very* valid reason.'' The smile was wiped right off her face ''Why can´t our brothers help us with this anyway? ....Lazy bums....''

''Because they don´t like it.'' Visenya replied flatly ''So they send us to do it.''

''Well, that´s not fair !''

''Would you prefer if it were Daeron doing it ?''

''I changed my mind. This is for the best.''

''Exactly.'' Visenya replied.

A brief silence came. Where the two sisters read the parchments detailing the situation of the castle. It seemed well enough. Her father had not been the best of lords, concerning himself with old scrolls and tomes rather than ruling. Visenya knew of them well, he had taught some of them to her. Spells and blood magic...she knew them quite well.

''But what about Aegon !'' Rhaenys continued with her arms crossed ''He could do this, he´s *supposed* to do this. He is the lord of Dragonstone.''

''He busies himself with plotting his invasion.'' Aegon had a habit, infuriatingly frustrating even if brilliant, of walking toward the stars to grasp them. Only to forget the pit of mud right in front of him. Thus it fell to her to carry her stupid little brother and get herself dirty while he dreamed.

''Yes...his...conquests...What do you think about them ?'' Rhaenys smirked with a greedy look ''Daeron and I like it very much...''

''Oh...I like it as well. Aegon is right, we deserve more than Dragonstone. We deserve everything, we are the last Dragonlords. Our family will rule it all...'' Visenya couldn´t help a small smile on her lips ''These Andals will be very surprised to see what 4 Dragons can do...I yearn for their reactions. They will be amusing I am sure.'' And she meant every word. In her childhood and adolescence, she had been obsessed with Old Valyria, and even now she respected and loved those who came before her, hoarding every piece of knowledge from the old freehold. But the truth was , as Aegon said, that it was dead. But they would build something new, something great...in Westeros. That was what Visenya wanted more than anything, prosperity and power to her house, the rest of the world could be ashes for all she cared.

''And rule we shall !'' Rhaenys said cheerfully ''I can only imagine how beautiful the castle that Daeron and I shall have will be...''

Visenya suppresed a snort. Her sister thought herself clever. And she was. But Rhaenys could not even hope to trick her, not in a thousand years. Visenya always knew what her siblings were thinking. She knew what people, in general, were thinking, after all, knives in the dark could harm house Targaryen just like knives in broad daylight. And Visenya would not have that, she would do whatever it took for her house. In this case, it meant interrogating prisoners quite...sharply.

''You will have your castle, Rhaenys. You do not need to be coy about it.'' She said harshly ''Your pathetic attempts at deception are just that: Pathetic. When you want something just say it, do not play games. I tire of them.''

Her sister had the grace to look embarrassed. Rhaenys never ever considered the possibility of someone catching her on her nonsense. Visenya found that confidence endearing...but dangerous. If Rhaenys were not careful that same recklessness would lead her to the grave, and Visenya could not, would not let that happen. ''I...I uhm...I wasn´t being...I uhm'' Visenya glared at her sister ''Fine....fine...'' Rhaenys said while throwing her hands up and then whispering ''Sorry...''

''If you have time for this chatting'' Visenya said while narrowing her eyes ''Then you have time to finish this work here with me...''

''Yes..'' Rhaenys said, sounding serious, even if she looked a bit embarrassed still ''We can finish this...but I would much rather listen to my bards or at least fly with Meraxes.''

''Weep,'' Visenya replied drily.

The two sisters took on some more hours doing this, at some points of the day Rhaenys had to do all the work in the parchments on her own whilst Visenya delivered judgments in the throne room. Settling disputes was an important part of her duties. It was not as dreadful as messing with ledgers and taxes and trade. ''Counting coppers'' her youngest sibling called it. For all her whining, Rhaenys knew that this needed to be done and knew how to do it, though Visenya also knew she preferred dealing with people over papers.

''Sister...'' Rhaenys said with a mischievous tone that Visenya did not want in this moment. Her sister liked to play. Sometimes it could be entertaining, but this was just not the time. ''Sister...I have a fun idea...''

''Say it already,'' Visenya said with narrowed eyes.

''Calm down calm down, it´s nothing bad'' Rhaenys said ''I was just thinking...when we were children you loved to use sorcery to...watch us...'' Rhaenys looked annoyed at the memory ''I suppose that´s why I always got caught whenever I tried claiming Meraxes back then...anyway. I was just wondering...could you do it for me right now? I am...quite curious as to what my dear husband is doing.''

''Unfortunately no.'' Visenya replied with anger ''Aegon has forbade me from doing it. The fool! How am I to keep all of you safe if I can´t know where you all are at all times? He said it made him feel ''uncomfortable'' that it was ''Disrespectful'' and that somehow it was not necessary! As if he could ever understand just how much I care about this house !.'' Visenya spat. ''Yet his word is law. And I do my duty. Always.'' That still stung. Once he became lord of Dragonstone her Brother had made sure to stop her use of magic. It was stupid. Moronic. Visenya needed to keep an eye out for her siblings at all times, or they would be attacked by scum. If only Aegon understood that.

''Oh come on Senya'' Rhaenys said with a teasing tone ''He´s not here. He went to the mainland for something to do with that table of his. What Aegon can´t see he can´t feel. I am just a poor poor woman that needs to know what her little brother is doing. You know how Daeron is, having him alone on his own is quite...disturbing.''

Visenya had quite mixed feelings about her littlest sibling. He had gone off to war and come back with Valyrian steel, something she approved of wholeheartedly, he had the same distance for the faith she had (Even if she now understood that there would be a pragmatic need for it if they were to proceed with an Invasion of Westeros) and overall, he was not craven or stupid. He could be quite clever if he put his mind to something. She had praised and approved of him many times in the past.

He was however a lazy drunkard. Moody and temperamental. When Visenya found out that he resisted wedding Rhaenys she was furious...though her younger sister had used her charms to stop that nonsense. She loved him dearly, but Visenya knew that Daeron was not truly suited for rulership, but he would have Rhaenys there to guide him. So that was not truly a concern for her. Though her sister would certainly have to reign in his destructive tendencies, the idea of causing a fire in the citadel was hilarious to Visenya. The complete lack of impulse control was equally horrifying. Not because she cared in the slightest about the dead maesters or worthless books that had been burned, but just because he could have gotten caught.

Visenya spent some time thinking. Rhaenys just had the most adorable face. Visenya knew what game her sister was playing, but then again, did it really matter that much? Daeron had gone off to fight Volantis in the city of Lys. It was reasonable for Rhaenys to be curious as to how he was going. And Aegon would never know...

''Stay here'' Visenya said ''I will prepare everything.''

Blood magic has many rules of course. It can have many uses such as the one she was about to perform right now, it could help cure illnesses or even conceive a child. But all of them require sacrifice of some sort. Using it on those of her same blood was easier. It was called *blood* magic for a reason. When Daeron was younger, observing him took only a small drop of her own blood. As he grew and as her other siblings grew as well , the cost became .. higher. Thankfully, she had material to spare for it in the dungeons.

The first stop for Visenya was her own room, where she picked up her old glass candle, a black thing, made of obsidian. Afterward, she headed to the cells. Where the scum of dragonstone was united. She chose a rapist as a sacrifice and quickly disposed of him with Dark Sister. Aegon was not particularly attentive to his dungeons, he would never find out. Spells were cast and the candle began to burn. Though Visenya briefly took pause to clean herself from the blood.

Some minutes later she went back to her solar, with a very eager Rhaenys inside.

''This'' Visenya said with an annoyed tone ''This is the first and last time we break the rules. Do you understand ?''

''Right, right'' Rhaenys said dismissively with a big grin on her face.

Their little sibling was sitting atop a haphazard wooden throne beside him were her Uncle Daemon, some stranger with a pipe in his mouth and Orys Baratheon. A man who looked Valyrian wore golden armor and rode a white stallion. The man rode until he was near her brother, who remained on the throne with a satisfied expression and threw his arms at her brother´s feet. Afterward, he lept off the stallion and knelt. A sign of surrender. She grinned proudly.

Visenya then cringed. She cringed violently when she saw her brother was still wearing that stupid, gods damned, eyepatch. Visenya had had enough of the thing, she would rip it out his face the next time she saw it. Enough was enough.

''Rhaenys''

''Yes'' replied her sister, who was cringing just as violently.

''Put him on a leash.''

''YES'' Rhaenys said with a nod ''YES....and I think I just know how...'' She sighed ''I had truly thought this...thing with the eyepatch was just a mood...I suppose it wasn´t.'' Rhaenys then had a devilish smirk in her face ''Oh well...I am sure he won´t be too...difficult''

The people of Lys were chanting Daeron´s name. Some even chanted that ridiculous nickname he had chosen for himself, which only made the two sisters cringe even more. Eventually, more Volantenes were brought , but those came in chains and not through horses, their weapons were unsheathed and thrown to his feet. The chants of his name became even louder and her brother smiled for a brief moment before turning serious and raising his hand up to demand silence.

''PEOPLE OF LYS !'' He shouted ''The men who are before you. Who are now nothing more than declawed broken and beaten dogs, these are the same men that not long ago had thought to put you all back in the boots of Volantis. They think of every Lyseni Man and Woman as a slave, with themselves as the master. WHAT SAY ALL OF YOU TO THAT ?''

The Lyseni began to scream insults, to shout ''NO'', some went as far as to throw fruits and rocks at the captured Volantenes. Who attempted to shield themselves with their hands. though that was quite difficult seeing as they were bound. Rhaenys did not seem to be enjoying the scene, but she was not averting her gaze either. That was good. Visenya patted her gently on the back.

''PEOPLE OF LYS !'' Daeron shouted again, shifting slightly in his throne. ''These men are now our prisoners, for us to do as we please with them. I ASK OF YOU ALL NOW. , ARE THEY TO BE KILLED FOR THEIR CRIMES, OR SPARED ?''

''NO MERCY! NO MERCY! NO MERCY !'' was chanted by the Lyseni

''MAKE THEM SLAVES !'' Another one shouted ''HAVE THEM SENT TO THE BROTHELS TO BE USED AS WOMEN !'' Now Rhaenys seemed shaken, she was a woman herself, and the thought of being raped obviously was not appealing. Visenya, however, was not afraid, she had Dark Sister and Vhagar, and no man could force himself on her. Rhaenys also had Meraxes.

Daeron ignored those suggestions. He lifted his hand once more, to signal for silence. The crowd quieted down like trained hounds. They were eating off the palm of his hand.

Daeron got up from his throne. Looking quite Impressive in some black armor with a red cape. He wore Iron gauntlets and greaves. He unsheathed his sword and placed it high above his head.

''In the name of all the good folk of Lys. In the name of all that wish to escape the Yoke of Volantis. In the name of all who wish to have freedom. I sentence you to die.'' In one swing, he decapitated the Volantene that wore the golden armor. Afterwards, Daeron picked up his head by the hair and showed it to the Lyseni who cheered with such fervor that it seemed the whole world was falling apart.

''YOU HAVE ASKED FOR JUSTICE !'' Daeron shouted with his arms open, one hand holding his sword ''AND I WILL HAVE IT DELIVERED TO YOU ALL, TO BE SERVED BY YOUR OWN HANDS !''

Daeron then had all the other Volantene captives thrown to the crowd, to be viciously ripped apart. Guts and entrails flew everywhere. Dismembered arms and legs were in the pile. The Lyseni were ecstatic while committing their atrocities. Losing their focus on Daeron for a moment. Her sibling stood there with his arms closed and a smile of satisfaction on his face.

''Brother'' Asked Orys with a sweat on his brow ''Is this really necessary? It seems wantonly cruel to me.''

A young woman handed a cup of wine that he began to sip. ''Learn this lesson, Orys.'' Daeron said with a laugh ''When you wish to convince a crowd. Give them what they want.'' Daeron then began to stare at the woman who had given him the wine.

''HE WOULDN´T DARE !'' Rhaenys shouted ''I WILL GELD HIM !''

''You won´t'' Visenya said Darkly ''I will do it first. If he dishonors you I swear I will rip out his cock and feed it to the Vhagar. Daeron *Don´t you dare*''

Thankfully, Orys intervened with a hand on Daeron´s shoulder ''*Ahem* Brother''

Daeron looked embarrassed ''Oh...I...I am sorry...You are right...damn puberty...don´t have enough blood for cock and brain'' He looked genuinely ashamed, which made the two sisters soften their gazes....slightly. ''I really have some work to do on him..'' Rhaenys muttered.

''No.'' Visenya replied ''He is the one that should know better. You are a dedicated wife''

Rhaenys smiled brightly ''Thank you sister !'' Visenya smiled slightly as well.

''PEOPLE OF LYS !'' Daeron shouted for a third time ''You have asked for justice! and I have delivered. Yet, are all of you truly satisfied? Do you feel that the blood of these invaders is enough to wash away all the oppression that has come from Volantis? DO YOU ALL WANT VOLANTIS TO BLEED ?!''

''What is he doing ?'' Rhaenys asked with concern ''Is...is this a mad scheme? He knows how to play with the crowd. I will give him that. Even if it is an incredibly...violent crowd.''

''YES !'' The crowd chanted ''MAKE VOLANTIS BLEED !''

''THEN FOLLOW ME !'' Daeron shouted, raising his blood-stained sword to the air. Shrykos then roared. ''FOLLOW ME AND WE WILL MAKE THE DOGS BLLEED AND HOWL LIKE THEY HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE! FOLLOW ME AND LYS WILL BE FREE FROM VOLANTIS FOREVER! FOLLOW ME AND WE WILL SACK VOLANTIS !''

The crowd went mad, shouting his name, others shouted that stupid nickname of his, but Visenya couldn´t care less. She had a grin plastered on her face.

''He has gone mad !'' Rhaenys cried out

''No Rhaenys'' Visenya said with a smile. ''NOW he´s making sense !''

Visenya loved her little brother very much.

Chapter Text

*Sips*

Ahhh...

Nothing is as sweet as a nice cup of wine...though sometimes I´ll admit to preferring ale whenever I get in a mood. The stronger drink helps to clear my mind of any bad thoughts, at the cost of a powerful headache. It´s how things are friends. But slowly and surely, my tolerance is increasing, I will become a functional drunk in little time at all.

Enjoying life is something that we should all do you know? Every day we spend rushing from one place to the other to do this or that, complete some fetch quest or study for some test that we all forget to just...chill. The brain does need some of that chill time to work, every machine needs to cool down every once in a while. We should tell that to the schools around the world, assholes don´t even understand the importance of sleep.

Quality over quantity, one hour of good study is worth more than ten hours of rushed garbage. Congratulations, school administration, you haven´t actually taught me anything since I´ll just forget everything the day after I do my test, but I have learned that the best way to live is to cynically abuse the system to my own benefit. That´s exactly what I learned from you all. Everything else has been forgotten.

That is all part and parcel of why I began my crusade against ''modern'' education. In truth, the ''modern'' school system is nothing more than an illusion. It´s the same thing since the Industrial Revolution, meant to teach me how to respond to simple commands. ''Read this little boy'', ''Sit down students. ''Repeat what I say'' , ''Do these activities''. And our malleable youths perform these tasks as if they were nothing more than trained hounds. Submissive, meek and pathetic. Wasting their lives away doing laborious tasks that ultimately only serve to solidify the control of the establishment over their minds. That is not to say, of course, that we should challenge all authority and overthrow all systems, after all, society collapses pretty fast if we tear down the institutions that compose it. Some folk are at least consistent in this and truly do want to burn everything down and build it up again.

My philosophy is simpler: Smile like you mean it, crack a joke here and there, and laugh your way through the end of the world! You only lose if you want to. They can´t make you break unless you wanna.

Call me cynical, but I don´t think there is any particular system of governance that is good (Besides which one most benefits me at any given turn of course ), I don´t think anarchism or any form of stateless society is truly feasible besides the level of something like indigenous tribes. What I think is that, at the end of the day, it´s going to depend on people actually being good, intelligent, virtuous, whatever you wanna call it, and that´s the only thing that truly decides success or failure.

And we all know how it is on a group project.

Relying on people is a recipe for complete disaster.

So yeah, we´re all doomed and the best path forward is to just meme your way through life. Trust me, it´ll make you happier.

The rejection of society as explained by Friedrich Niet-*Burps*

*Sips*

*Sips*

*SIPS*

Oh dear....what was I ranting about again ?....right....I think I´m not gonna keep cooking....the fuck was that all about...I don´t go on unhinged political rants since Russia...well never mind, let´s just forget all about that.

Lys is a city of many beauties and pleasures...I have enjoyed them quite a bit. Especially the wines here, they are simply fantastic. They have some bathhouses which I have also thoroughly enjoyed...some theaters and such. Truly, the populace here has been eager to please me in any way they can. I did save their asses of course, so I suppose it is very understandable. Kiddos here run around wearing eyepatches now in a very cringy display that warms my heart.

I can´t say I care much about them at all. I mean, they hate Volantis for making them a colony and enslaving them and all...but the Lyseni are also specialists in sex slaves. They capture women and men and then interbreed in order to find the most beautiful human they can possibly create and use in brothels. Literal fucking eugenics. That is a level of moral debauchery that almost made *me* feel something. And that´s a very tough mark to hit.

These hot AF women have been a problem for me. Holy shit I want to bang. I want to clap some cheeks...but then I remember that I am a married guy you know...and Rhaenys is still hotter than them and she would get real sad if I cheated on her...there is a voice in my head that sometimes says ''What Rhaenys doesn´t see she can´t feel'' but I make sure to squash it every time it comes up. Fucking puberty. I ain´t gonna cuckold her, even if it does genuinely hurt when my very long sword stabs my pants with extreme force. Especially because I walk around in armor all the time...it hurts bro...it hurts. The fact they actually want me to clap their cheeks and throw themselves at me only makes it harder.

I feel like this is some form of cathartic punishment as If I´m Tantalus trying to reach water or food. It´s right there but I´m not allowed to get it. Tantalizing. Literally. Thankfully I have Orys near me to keep everything under control. He has helped me keep it in more times than I am willing to admit. Uncle Daemon has also helped me a lot in this. Rhaenys is his niece after all , he won´t like seeing her getting humiliated. Even a greedy scumbag like him has some standards I suppose.

So, I indulge in the other pleasures of life, as my drinking has certainly made very clear.

You might ask yourself, why the fuck are you doing all this lazy son of a bitch, what about sacking Volantis ?

To which I reply: I needed some time for the Lyseni to actually prepare their fleets and gather supplies, it´s only been a week, give me a fucking break. I´m running an army, not a marathon, this shit takes time.

Alas.

I am on a war council.

I am the commander of this council.

I am supposed to speak and well

Command

And command I shall.

let me just

*sips*

There we go...I´m feeling much better now.

''So...nephew...'' Daemon Velaryon asked with some impatience. He was alongside me and Orys in a large chamber with an also large table, a map of essos and the free cities was displayed on top of it. For dramatic effect, I had a dagger stab the map right where Volantis was. Our pirate king should also, by rights, have a seat in this council, but alas he chose to enjoy himself. Not complaining, being near that freak gives me the chills. ''What is your plan.''

''Say yours first , Uncle'' I said with a smile. People like it when you ask their opinions. Even if, like me, you won´t listen to them at all and don´t plan on giving it any thought at all. It just helps them feel important and valued, and that makes them just so much easier to deal with on my experience.

Uncle Daemon puffed his chest , full of pride and then put his finger on Rhoyne ''Nephew , I´d counsel you to land your armies on the Rhoyne, here, with your dragon and the reinforcements we have received here in Lys , the three tributary cities of Volantis should fall without much resistance. From there, the Volantenes will have to respond and march their armies out the gates...where we will destroy them. If they refuse to give us battle , our fleets can choke the Rhoyne river , trapping the army that Volantis has sent to Qohor , while you can lay siege and starve Volantis.''

''I agree'' Orys said with a serious tone ''I would go farther , we could chop off some trees and build dams and traps all over the Rhoynar to prevent them from hitting us in the rear

Sorry , I just imagined Orys as a beaver. speaking of beavers , whatever happened to that gamingbeaver guy ? He was quite important to my childhood man...

It was a sensible plan (Or at least I think it is, I ain´t no Caesar. Though I do idolize him and identify as a Romeboo) I could see it working. I know that In canon Volantis has an army up in the disputed lands that gets defeated by Argillac Durrandon, and that if I just let things play out the army they have sent to Qohor will also lose. But my attack on their capital will make sure that the second one withdrawls to try and break my siege. Hitting them while they are on the river is a pretty valid choice. We wouldn´t need my dragon for it, seeing as it would be necessary in Volantis proper.

But there is one flaw in it.

It´s slow.

This means more Free cities could join the sack while I wait.

And I just don´t want to share the loot.

At all.

''A very good plan...'' I say, trying to sound respectful. ''But I have another Idea in mind''

*sips*

''We strike Volantis straight away''

''Nephew'' Uncle Daemon said with some anxiousness ''Why? We would sustain casualties, massive casualties, while you are safe on your Dragon, we would have to endure massive arrow fire coming from the walls and take one of the most fortified castles in the world by storm, all that while also coming from out the ships. Why take so much risk when we don´t need to ?''

''Loot.'' I replied drily ''Who dares wins , uncle. The Volantenes cannot know that we will come for them. We have only stopped them here a week ago , if we set sail soon , they won´t have any idea until we are at their shores. Remember that they have split their forces in Myr and In Qohor and that we wiped away with their troops here in Lys. Volantis cannot have a garrison bigger than 10.000 men...true, one man inside their walls is worth 10 outside, but we have a Dragon to even the odds. It will not be...easy..but it can be done.''

Daemon and Orys kept objecting, but I kept dismissing them. Really, my ability to completely ignore people is admirable and tremendous.

''Brother, Listen to me, we could lose all our levies, we could one in every twentieth man from Dragonstone! It would be a disaster for our population !''

Oh dear, I should really think of a to-steal list ...

Well, I will get whatever I want for myself Duh. Orys is also here, he can just take whatever the fuck he wants.

For Visenya...uhm...Glass candles, Valyrian stuff...humans ?...will consider that last one.

''NEPHEW! Listen to me! Driftmark will starve if all my men die !''

For Rhaenys I think I will bring silks, finery, etc. Maybe Valyrian Steel if I can find it , but I doubt she´d care.

for Aegon ? Gold. That one´s easy

*Sips*

Man , I´m so excited

TIME TO BE A VIKING !

Chapter Text

Volantis is in sight. Let´s dispense with the rambling.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Time to make Odin proud, to make my way TO VALHALLA! (it´s actually Valholl and we call it Halla because of Latinization shenanigans, like how Odin is supposed to be Othin, but whatever.Me fat nerd)

Volantis has two sets of walls pretty much. The first one is your typical wall that serves to defend a city, normal stuff. The second layer is the so-called Black walls, where the Old Blood lives and hides away all their precious wealth. They see themselves as the true heirs to Valyria, collecting any trinkets or swords related to the old freehold from wherever they can snatch it. This means that they collect things like Valyrian steel weapons and Valyrian scrolls, tomes, and Glass candles like civilized people collected Pokemon cards in their youth. Westeros has about 200 Valyrian steel swords, Essos has Thousands, and Volantis has the most of them all. They are also unbelievably rich, From this sacking alone I shall be the richest reaver to ever reave.

And it´s all gonna be mine baby. Every last one. Except for the ones I have to share with my fellow reavers, but these don´t count.

The little puny humans are down below in their ships, sailing towards the harbor, where we secure our landing. I could set fire to the thing, but then how the fuck is my army supposed to land? They can´t walk through the flames.

The harbor is fucking gigantic, once again proving that GRRM has no idea how scales and proportions work. The outer walls overlook it and I can already see that the Volantenes are sounding the alarms and preparing everyone for this kerfuffle. Quaint. Across this harbor and after the walls is a long bridge that connects the western half of Volantis (This one) to the eastern one (Old Blood part of town), it is built across the river Rhoyne.

People at the walls don´t really seem all that intimidating, to be fair, the Old Blood only cares about itself, they´ve probably left the actual soldiers to defend the Black Walls. This is just a warm-up.

One last sip of wine before fighting! Yes, I bought a bit of wine to war, I kept it stored in my saddlebags. Listen, I just need that mid-battle refreshment to get on peak(e) performance.

*sips*

Ahhhh...

much better...

so anyway

I started blasting.

''DRACARYS !'' Shrykos spits fire at the people in the walls, they turn into ash quite quickly. So far so good! One or two of them have Javelins, spears, and arrows to shoot at me, though I do not see any scorpions. They are completely ineffective. Dragon scales are really OP like that. Thank you, George.

Unfortunately for me, some of these asshats have had the bright idea to duck and avoid my fires. And we just can´t have that, can we? So I land Shrykos atop the walls, to their absolute terror and my complete delight.

''CHEERS MATES! SMILE LIKE YA MEAN IT! AHAHAHHAA''

''I HAVE A FAMIL-''

''DRACARYS !''

Not anymore friend, not anymore you don't.

Shrykos decides to get dirty and starts clawing at`em, sometimes she wipes them away with her tail.

''GO ON MY DEAR! YOU NEED A HEALTHY DIET OF MEAT !'' I say while she swallows three people at once.

A jackass somehow managed to begin climbing her scales to get to me. I will appreciate the level of based and bravery, but not the stupidity.

''THIS IS SPARTAAAAA !'' I kick him in the face and he falls down, into the cold hard ground. The blood coming out of this dude´s head tells me everything I need to know. He´s a goner. Enjoy hell.

I pat Shrykos in the back ''Easy there girl...go on, don´t be shy, keep on going.'' I kiss her scales ''Love you.'' My Dragon purred in response. I love her so much!

She stomps on some brave fools who tried to stab her feet. I always did like pancakes. A jerk threw a Javelin at me and almost killed me right then and there, thankfully the only thing he ended up hitting was my hair. Reminding me that I should probably get a haircut soon. *grumbles*

Also reminded me to keep my head down.

Shrykos went on a rampage as if she were an angry elephant, charging forward and eating people up, tearing them in half with her claws and occasionally putting them in 2D with a stomp.

I just love this you know? It´s such a gas! Quite entertaining indeed, Who doesn´t like the taste of success? Sweet and glorious. Especially with a little bit of violence being used as a spice. Mayhaps I´d enjoy some salty tears from my opponents if they had any. Shrykos burns to the bones.

I can see that our ground forces are progressing with no resistance for now. That´s quite nice. Uncle Daemon actually knew how to make a landing and Orys has a commanding enough voice to make the levies listen. Yes. Voice matters a lot here. You have no idea how difficult it is to get people to do as you say , everyone has their own stupid ideas about how much of a moron you are and how they´d do a better job.

They climb over the walls using ropes and ladders and then open the gates for the rest of the army.

So far, this is a W.

Now, let´s attack the civilian populace!

I set fire to literally everything that´s on sight, Especially fleeing civilians, love to get rid of those. Women too, I support equal rights and equal fights. In this case, they fight against my Dragon. Not very fair isn´t it?

''TAKE WHAT YA CAN AND GIVE NOTHING BACK!'' I shouted to my soldiers below, who did not need any form of reminder to do that. Especially the pirates who we brought from the stepstones, who are going batshit insane. Apparently, they are using some weird drug thing that reduces their reasoning in exchange for pain immunity, literal berserkers, they even refuse to wear armor like the walking stereotypes they are. Lovely!

I set buildings and more buildings ablaze, gotta get that little breather in ya know, just how things are. Everyone has their urges, in my case, they are burnings, drinking, and fucking. Don´t judge me for it, it makes me a sad boyo if you do. The Lyseni aren´t even bothering to pick up actual loot , they´re just going for revenge and murder on Volantis. That´s an admirable attitude, in my opinion, just do what you want.

All right, enough of that, We need to take the rest of the city first, *then* loot it. Otherwise, my soldiers will lose all their cohesion and get busy turning into fucking treasure hunters, searching nook and cranny for that MUNEH.

''ORYS ! ORYS ! LISTEN TO ME !''

He looks up at me from down below ''BROTHER !''

I point towards the bridge that leads to the other half of the city. Orys understands what I mean and begins to rally up the soldiers again.

Noice.

I think it´s a good idea to get ahead of them and just start blasting the Black walls right now!

I know that inside it, where the Old Blood lives, Is a true labyrinth of luxurious palaces and apartments.

From up here I can see a temple of R´hllor ! ... *THE* Temple to the Red god actually, the biggest one in the world...The people don´t actually seem intimidated by my flames. They´re actually just...praying like normal. Gotta give them credit for bravery. Not intelligence, however. I think it´s a...good Idea to not burn this one building, I do not want to get my ass murdered by some fanatic. R´hllorist using spells. So they get spared.

God damnit I wanna kill them so bad...

The Black walls themselves are, unsurprisingly, black. They are massive with a capital M. Wide enough for fucking chariots to run in them. They are made of the same material that the castle of Dragonstone is. So that´s always nice.

Say...I think I see some scorpions...

Eh, who gives a fuck? They can´t hurt me anyway. I´ve got a Dragon. What´s the worst that could happen? Imma just get closer...

SWEET MOTHER OF GOD THAT IS A LOT OF SCORPIONS!

I might have made a ... mistake

It´s raining Iron bolts like water in a storm.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, THAT IS OVERKILL! I´M JUST ONE DUDE! HANDS OFF PLEASE ?!

''BURN THEM ALL !'' Shrykos started burning them !

Everything is completely under control...

Not.

They hit her wing membrane.

FUUUUUCKKKKKKKKK

She´s struggling to fly now, but she´s not grounded or crippled...that´s pretty nice...

OH FUCK SHE´S BLEEDING NOW.

Shrykos roared in pain and oh boy I´ve gotten myself in a mess haven´t I? Her cries and roars of pain and fury break my heart , my dragon is supposed to be above this type of thing.

I gotta do something man , I´m just a sitting duck here...

I KNOW!

CRASH STRAIGHT AT THE WALLS!

I´M COMING LIKE A WRECKING BALL!

Shrykos crashes at the wall, taking down an enormous portion of it! The Volantenes weren´t exactly expecting that one , and I can see Elephants , people and ballistas falling as well. WE BREACHED THE WALLS BOYS LET´S GO! She lands on an enormous Courtyard with soldiers everywhere.

OH SHIT, I LOST MY SEAT! NOOOOOO ARGHHH

Oof.

Falling on the ground does not feel good.

I´m kinda drenched on my Dragon´s blood. She´s fucking pissed, clawing, biting, being a living flamethrower, snapping an elephant in half. Her right wing is wounded, but I´m sure it will heal...right? She ain´t crippled, of that I´m sure. Still , She´s fighting more based on anger then anything else at this point , the wounds are going to slow her down eventually.

Me?

I´m just looking at the sky. I look dead, nobody´s paying attention to me at all. I mean...I look kinda dead...

From here I take a look at the black walls and can´t help but smile a bit at the massive crater that Shrykos put in them....

I´m so fucking awesome.....

Alright...I gotta get up right ?...

Hrghn.....this is hard...

Everything fucking hurts....shit...

*Pukes*

Well...there goes my wine...that stinks...both as a metaphor and in the smell.

I wipe off some of the blood and...substances...with the back of my hand, before spitting. I stumble slightly when walking...just...just give me a moment...

Breathe in...

Breathe out...

This feels better now...somewhat...

I´m so goddamn tired...I´m hibernating when this shit is done...

I look at Shrykos and oof...she´s bleeding all over, The wing that is hot by a scorpion still works, but yeah...not exactly best shape, so much so she´s just going at`em like a crocodile instead of flying. Swords, spears, and most bolts still do nothing to her scales, it´s just when you add enough of them all at once that it becomes an issue...but she ain´t no Syrax and is kicking the shit out of everyone on sight. Hehe....you go, girl...

I would try and mount her again but...how exactly am I supposed to climb the back of a rampaging Dragon that is in the middle of a storm of swords without getting myself killed , burned or stabbed again ?

So...I´m on foot now...just great...I ain´t no bitch with a sword, It´ll be fine.

Oh...god damn it...this is so hard...I fall on my knees and struggle to get back up. I am so fucking tired...

NO.

Remeber the Mannis Daeron. Remenber his words.

You go forward, always forward.

I get on my own two feet again, even if it´s not the easiest thing in the world.

''IT´S HIM! IT´S THE DRAGONRIDER! KILL HIM !'' Some Volantene asshole yells. He wields a curved sword in his hand. Scimitar is the name I believe. His pals are coming with him. One with a spear another with a mace.

''It´s me,'' I reply, trying to sound cool. But it really didn´t come off intimidating because well..I´m not exactly looking strong at the moment.

I put my hand on the sheathe of Dragonclaw. I ain´t coming at him, let these guys come at me. Live by the sword, die by the sword.

Asshole number One swings his scimitar. I duck and unseathe my sword while also slashing his throat out. Hehe...get rekt, Idiot.

Asshole number two thrusts his spear, I sidestep, and then, when he´s trying to pull back the spear, I grab the shaft, and do a Scorpion ''Come over here'' bringing the dickhead right to my blade.

Parry that, filthy casual.

Asshole number three seems to be smarter, he didn´t just rush at me. And that´s a problem. I am not exactly well enough to run after him.

''What´s wrong? Are you scared ?'' I say with a very forced cocky smirk. I´m not feeling cocky, this is just bait. Let´s just hope this guy is a prideful moron.

He wasn´t.

*sighs*

Why did my enemies need brains again? Just be a moron.

Alright, If he isn´t coming, then I´m gonna have to ... right?

I take a deep breath, adjusting Dragonclaw in my hand. It feels light and the handle is comfortable.

I step forward and thrust the sword, not committing too much. Asshole number three steps back, so I go forward again and swing.

HAHA! GOT YA!

Wha...

He pulled a fast one on me, he literally pulled the same trick I pulled on asshole number 1 with the whole duck and counter thing. I got a big fat mace on my gut.

This...

FUCKING HURTS!

I fall hard on the ground...Dragonclaw also slipped from my hand...shit.

I struggle to breathe and I feel my insides turning around. I puke some blood...

Shit...I can hear this motherfuckers steps coming near me...shit...How do I get out of this one...there´s so much fucking pain...

I smirk slightly, sweat on my brow.

I´m gonna put some dirt in your eye.

When he was coming to swing at me, I turned and threw some dust on his face , afterward, I swept his feet and saw him fall too. Enjoy that one...I begin crawling towards my sword...

Come on...Come on dude, You got this, work through the pain, just keep going...keep going...

GOT IT!

OHWWAHAHAHAHAHA I AM GOING TO GUT YOU LIKE A FIS-

*Stomp*

Ouch....

He..uhm...really got up faster than expected huh? haha...uhm...I can´t really see myself getting out of this one...dude´s stepped on my hand...I´m down on the ground like a goddamn caterpillar...

''WHY WON´T YOU DIE ?!'' I tell him, using my other hand to give him the middle finger. He can go fuck himself...of all the ways to die as an SI. This one is anti-climactic...Killed by a nameless goon...

*pants*

Go...fuck yourself, I regret nothing!

He lifts his mace, high above his head, '' GO TO VHAGAR´S HALLS, SCUM !''

''BETTER THEN BEING AROUND YOUR DUMB ASS!''

He starts swinging down and oh dear...

I got cooked...

wait...

I´m alive?

Dude got stabbed in the back by Orys...

THANK GOD I DID NOT WANT TO DIE LIKE THIS, AT LEAST A *COOL* DEATH IS WHAT I DEMAND.

''B...brother...'' I spit out , not really on my best condition ''...H...help me up...''

''DAERON !'' He shouted with concern while helping me stand ''Are you well ?''

''What kinda stupid question is that ?'' I reply with annoyance, before realizing this guy just saved my ass and I should be grateful ''S...sorry...Uhm...I am not fine...but hey...'' I look around, to see that the army is pouring in through the hole I made in the walls and that Shrykos is still going on a rage-fueled genocide ''We won right ?''

''It isn´t a victory if you die !'' Orys barked back. I pick up Dragonclaw from the ground and use it as a crutch to walk. ''I have to get you to a healer or a maester SOMETHING !''

''W...wait !'' I tell him ''Calm down...calm down...''

''CALM DOWN ?!''

''Yes...calm down just listen to me Orys. Any soldier here can take me to a healer, Just order 5 or so to help me. But I need you here to keep control of the troops. Listen to my following commands:

Every single member of the Old Blood of Volantis that you can get your hands on is to be put to the sword. No exceptions.

Every piece of Valyrian steel, from a sword to just a ring or something smaller, is to be seized.

No buildings are to be burned before they are completely looted...well besides the ones Shrykos already destroyed...

No slaves with useful skills are to be killed. So Qohorik smiths, Artisans, scribes, etc, all those are to be spared.

Absolutely anything that is worth a penny is to be taken. Including coin itself, do not let any wealth get away.

After we are done looting, burn everything, tear down the walls, salt the earth. Volantis must not exist once we are finished''

Volantis delenda est for all my fellow Rome freaks.

Orys nodded his head hesitantly, before giving me a little escort, I pretty much had to be carried like a damn child but that didn´t matter.

What mattered was that I´d won.

I FUCKING WON!

I AM FUCKING INVINCIBLE!

And all I can smell is fire and ash , just the way I like it.

Chapter Text

Finders keepers , Losers weepers.

Guess what? I found Volantis and now I get to keep whatever I want from here. And the losers can *cope* and *seethe* because their opinion is not being taken into consideration. I don´t believe in anything that does not benefit me personally or the small list of people I feel affection towards.

I am also never taking milk of the poppy again. After my super awesome display of combat prowess, I was hurried off by a ragtag bunch of soldiers who were extremely eager to get rid of me and go to the looting. Thankfully, they got me back to the ships where I was treated by a maester on my wounds that were all caused pretty much by my own recklessness. Smart people would take this as a learning opportunity. Anyways, call me a bitch, but I sure as hell asked for milk of the poppy to deal with the pain...I bitterly regret this decision. The hallucinations were...uhm...interesting to say the least. At first, they were very pleasant and Involved a very naked Rhaenys, a cozy bed, TV, and alcohol. Then they started to...spiral out of control until I had Aegon coming at me like Dutch Van der Linde explaining his plans of Conquest, Visenya as the Batman attempting to inculcate discipline and moral values and...stuff...Rhaenys as Robin, all the while I gave out the ''We live in a society'' speech. There was...a lot more to it...with Orys as Bane and many explosions...fire, a lot of fire...but I think it´s best to completely forget that.

Right now I am actually riding my horse across Volantis, Orys and Uncle Daemon right beside me. I needed help to get up on the saddle and I walk with a crutch for now, but I am mostly recovered, besides a lot of pain. A lot...of pain. I also have this huge bandage on my chest that I hide beneath my clothes and uhh...stomach pains...People don´t know how much getting hit with a mace in your insides ruins your appetite. I wanna puke whenever I feel anything remotely touch my precious intestines. We make sure to ride at a very slow pace, so as to not upset me in any way. We also have a bunch of soldiers here to protect us in case any Volantene survivor decides to have a revenge arc. Unlike anime villains, I will kill anyone who´s trying to kill me instead of admiring their spirit and letting them go. None of that shit is happening because I am not some fucking moron.

We are in the common parts of the city, where the general populace lives...or lived since well...significant population reduction has occurred here. entire buildings have been toppled and the outer walls are completely ruined. The Lyseni were the ones behind most of the wanton destruction since the rest of the soldiers only cared for looting. They were creative too, tying up some sections of the walls to elephants and then using whips to agitate/Scare them off. It took a very big amount of elephants, but they are doing the job. They have also started Salting the earth and the Romeboo in me simply couldn´t be more proud. Volantis delenda est said Cato the Elder.

I also see many signs of burning and looting. Some of these likely came from Shrykos herself when I was having my fun, but a lot of them also came from people.

This brings me to my musings..

I am a Villain, right?

I have done extremely evil things for no real reason besides liking it. I have racked up a Joker-level kill count and I purposefully attack fleeing civilians. I show zero care or concern for anyone I am not blood related to, I do not care for morals as much as my simple amusement and I am also compulsively disrespectful to most people. I bang my own sister and right now I am plundering a city.

But really...who doesn´t love a nice old Bad guy, ain´t I right fellas?

I wonder...If I were still on earth, would any woman pull out the ''I can fix him'' line on me? I am attractive, being a Targ and all. I am evil and very unrepentantly so, I like to think of myself as charismatic and cool, but I´m probably trying too hard and edgy. So I can see the fangirls throwing themselves at my feet , just begging to ''fix me''

Well, here´s a lesson to all of you.

Don´t fix what isn´t broken.

I am interrupted from my musings by an old woman trying to get near me, screaming, she is restrained by the guards.

''MONSTER !'' She shouted with tears ''YOU KILLED MY SON AND BURNED MY HOME! YOU DEMON !''

I stop my horse to look at her, I narrow my eyes trying to recognize her, and well...

''Lady, I don´t even know who you are.''

I then continue my merry way, chatting with Orys and CO.

''Nuncle'' I ask with some caution ''How long was I...down...It is hard to tell the time when you are on the milk of the poppy.''

''Only some days'' My uncle replied calmly ''4 to be precise. Do not worry, your orders were carried out. And we have kept all the relevant loot stockpiled for you to distribute as you see fit...Especially the Valyrian steel....''

''You can get something for yourself'' I reply cheerfully ''No need to be coy about it'' Uncle Daemon was grinning from ear to ear. I heard Orys clear his throat and begin to speak but I cut him off

'You too Orys, pick anything you want. The best part of the loot is for our enjoyment after all. I assume the pirates have had their part already ?''

Uncle Daemon nodded.

''Good.'' I yawned. Very tired, I need to sleep soon... ''Have you all seized the slaves as I told? The ones with important skills I mean.''

''Yes'' Orys replied with firmness ''glassmakers from Myr , Artisans. Smiths from Qohor and ... some Qohorik that claim to be sorcerers...I am not sure how true their claims are, but I decided to take them too just in case. Though...brother, we are not essosi, you surely do not plan on *keeping* them as slaves correct? Slavery is...monstrous.''

''Don´t stress yourself over it Orys I am just going to...give them a ...new home...in Dragonstone. I am sure Visenya in particular will love to speak with these self-proclaimed sorcerers...''

Orys shuddered. ''I am sure she will...'' He took a deep breath ''They are in the courtyard, beyond the black walls, would you wish to see them ?''

I nod ''And afterward I want to see the Valyrian steel we snatched. Oh , and the Old blood , you two have killed the ones you could right ?''

Daemon gulped ''The Lyseni did...quite...brutally might I add. Some were torn apart limb from limb , others were drawn and quartered....stomped...fed to your dragon as a sacrifice...Some...other atrocities as well...but I prefer not to dally on them...especially the ones that involved force feeding genitals...''

''You´re right'' I say , sweating ''Please , don´t tell me.''

...

''YOU ARE ALL BEING FREED !'' I Shout cheerfully at the assembled slaves that Orys captured, there are about 100 of them. The ones here are those with special skills of any kind, as I didn´t bother with the average slave. I just don´t really care about them all that much. I feel pity of course and a certain level of moral repugnance, but not nearly enough for me to sacrifice my own convenience or pick a fight over it. Sorry fellas, between doing whatever I want, and doing the right thing, I will always just do what I want.

We are the courtyard, just after the black walls, they still have that massive hole in the place I crashed into´em. Feel proud about that moment. I dismount from my horse , getting assistance from Orys in order to not fall down, I am then given a crutch so I can walk.

''Freed from your old oppressors! Free to be happy! Free to have a home, mayhaps even a wife and a child !''

I walk a bit, looking all of them in the eye.

''All this you will find...in Dragonstone! A shining horizon to the west! A brand new land ripe to be settled by all of you!''

Silence.

Very embarrassing silence.

The slaves do not...look impressed...at all. One or two even coughs.

I turn to Uncle Daemon ''Are you sure they understand my language? do...do we need someone to translate ?'' My uncle nodded.

''They understand every word you say.''

I look at him, incredulous. I then turn to look at the slaves with a sheepish expression and a forced smirk, I feel myself sweat from embarrassment...

''*Ahem* so Uh...Any questions? Hehe...''

I saw one of the slaves raise his hand. He had a thick black beard and hair , with purple eyes , so probably a little bit of Valyrian heritage here or there , he also was thin and frail , with a build that showed no muscle pretty much.

''I have one. Yes.''

I signal for him to continue with a reassuring smile.

''You tell us we are being freed ?''

''YES !'' I reply with cheer ''You are all freed from your shackles.''

''So, can we choose whether to go to this...Dragonstone...or not ?''

I deflated. And felt myself getting red with anger...

Why can´t people just let me be a hypocrite for a bit, politicians get to do it for decades, and I WANT TO TOO!

''Because I have kin in Norvos'' He said smoothly ''That surely miss me very much.''

''Well uhm...You see I...uhm...'' God fucking damn it...''Dragonstone is very good you see...''

''But I do not wish to go there'' The man replied with a smirk.

Smartass.

''You will change your mind,'' I reply with a lot of annoyance. ''Once you see that you will all be rewarded with a home and payment for your...services...now excuse me...''

Can´t I just catch a break...

...

Volantis had a lot of Valyrian stuff. I checked the scrolls first, a quick glance and a very quick read. Nothing too much , though I saw some disturbing passages about blood magic to make a child stronger in the womb...I puked at that moment. I guess...if Aegon and Visenya can´t conceive normally then I´ll get a fucking captain America for a nephew, with blood magic serving as the serum. Assuming that Aegon is in on it...or would Visenya just do it behind his back? I... I dunno...would she do it even if they can conceive normally?

Get that shit away from me...

I still packed it up and took it as a war prize

We also took silks, jewelry, and all that. I am sure Mom and Rhaenys will love it !

I also took enough Gold to make Fafnir jealous...mwhahaahahahah I LOVE MONEY! SO MUCH MONEY! Enough money to fill entire ships. And I am no using hyperbole here.

But that was not...the coolest part...

The coolest part was the Valyrian steel that Orys secured...

Rings and ornaments made up most of the pile. Hundreds of them, more than I could count.

There were also some more mundane objects made with Valyrian steel. But that´s not what I cared about...

What I care about are the weapons!

We found Valyrian steel swords, axes, spears , daggers...all of it...dozens of them, to be precise...

Orys shuffled in the pile and took a Valyrian steel axe for himself, he then proceeded to be a chad and name the thing fucking *Godsgrief*.

Uncle Daemon took a sword and I may have convinced him to name it Riptide. Look, I liked Percy Jackson as a little kid.

I picked up a Valyrian steel dagger for sweet Rhaenys. Why a dagger? Because I felt like it. Poor Rhaenys won´t use this thing anyway, or a sword...or any real weapon besides Meraxes and her tits. Two equally dangerous weapons as I found out the hard way. I still regret folding so hard and so fast, even If I very much like Rhaenys, I could have at least put up a fight!

I am letting her have naming privileges because I am very kind like that. It is somewhat sad that she will like silk clothes over a Valyrian steel dagger , but that is just Rhaenys for you. *sighs* girls.

Believe it or not, that was still not the best part of it all for me !

I then proceeded to order Orys and Daemon to find *someone* that works Valyrian steel (Ahem, Qohorik slaves) to melt the steel in the weapons and turn it into a suit of armor for me! Except for a helmet. I don´t like helmets and love that feeling of wind on my hair.

So yes.

Life is a hard game...

But I´m buying the DLC packs.

Chapter Text

The drip becomes me!

Valyrian steel armor...is COOL!

It´s kinda like black-scale armor, dark as smoke, very edgy. The scales are edged in red, but unless you really are looking for it, isn´t even really noticeable. It gleams and shimmers when I move. The nicest part is just how light it is. I don´t feel weighed down at all, and I can move as If I weren´t wearing anything at all. When the armor was first presented to me it had all these weird glyphs and patterns, but I had them removed, sorry but I was never the type for very intricate-looking things, I prefer simplicity lads. Don´t judge me for it. It´s also completely impervious to pretty much anything. Like...seriously, I tried swinging at it with Dragonclaw, Orys tried it with his axe as well and it didn´t even scratch the thing, considering how fucked up the Freehold was and considering how regular Valyrian steel is...there is likely a ton of magic involved, likely extremely disturbing magic. Oh well, what I don´t know can´t hurt me, and in this case ignorance is bliss. Voltaire talking about how ''KNWowLeDgE Is PoWeR'' completely forgot that everything has nuance and that knowing too much can fuck with someone´s head. Sometimes, it´s best to be dumb.

I am hoping that said magic is real and that it gives me protection against hostile magic, because the temple of the Red God is near and I do not want to get a visit from a shadow baby. I like living. I don´t have any confirmation it´s real, but I am hoping for it.

I specifically avoided sacking it , being quite cautious about angering the red god, I do burn people a lot after all. But I am afraid my troops and especially the Lyseni disagreed quite heavily, wanting to just break the place, I had to hang a few men for raping priestesses in order to keep the temple people appeased. Hopefully it is enough. Otherwise, I really will need my Valyrian steel to be magic-proof.

Speaking of Valyrian Steel, I really underestimated just how much the Old Blood had. I said they had dozens of Valyrian steel weapons, and I wasn´t lying. It took melting about 20 of those weapons and around 30 rings to make my armor. We took a Valyrian steel axe for Orys, a dagger for Rhaenys, and a sword for Daemon. And still there were a bunch left, I was eager to continue pilfering!

Then reality clocked me in the face! Kinda.

The Lyseni demanded their share of the loot, so I had to give them a bit...the Pirates also wanted some...and I kinda had to give them considering I did promise loot. Sure, I have the strength to just kill them all with my dragon, but breaking a promise is an easy way to never get anyone to pledge to you ever again. It´s not morality, it´s practicality. I am capable of limited foresight. Occasionally. And I hated giving this shit away argh.

A couple, not many but a couple, fucking up and vanished and I was *livid*. I suspect some smartass soldier stole them and then dipped. I hanged the people who were supposed to be protecting the thing for their negligence in my anger. Then I tried organizing a search for the missing weaponry, at first, I tried interrogating the members of my levies. But no one decided to rat them out, even after I offered rewards. So either the culprit was a lone wolf or he had a small group that fled with him. To say I feel angry would not even *begin* to describe how humiliating it was.

In the end, I got to yoink a couple more weapons. A hammer, which I immediately gave to Orys despite his protests of not liking hammers. I simply have to buff future Bobby B. three swords, a scimitar, a Mace, an(other) axe , aaaaand a spear.

I am somewhat of a spear enthusiast, despite not being very good with one, so I will keep the spear for myself. I think Spears looks nice and gets underrated in media alright? Maybe I´ll call it Gungnir and just RP Odin. I have a thing for one eyes as you can clearly tell. But I do love having both. Anyways, I´ll think of a name eventually. I have no reason to rush this type of thing.

Rest is going to Aegon and Visenya, they can sort out the mess, it´s just not my problem. It´s not as if I am going to be using anything besides my dragon very often, and I have Valyrian steel armor, people can´t really hurt me too much. Though some very recent experiences tell me I should probably...probably get better at grounded fighting. Just in case you know.

In another tidbit, the jewels and ornaments and Valyrian decorations are all going to sweet Rhaenys and Mom. Am I not just the best Husband/son?

Truly, I am just the best...

*sigh*

Still pissed off about the slaves. They made me look like a crying wojack.

There is actually some nuance here.

The slaves I captured are specifically those with unique skills. Unlike the average slave, they are treated quite well and enjoy a certain level of material comfort. Volantis is so much richer than Dragonstone, so they will be losing out on that. They also aren´t really going to *stop* working. So they aren´t getting that benefit either, and I am also giving them the culture shock of going from Essos to Westeros. Won´t be as extreme in Dragonstone, but it will still happen somewhat, the Republican institutions that these guys are used to just don´t exist in Westeros.

On the positive side, they will be allowed to own their own property, they will be called servants instead of slaves which is nice, their children will be born free and they have leave to just marry who they want. Long term it will be good for them and their kids, short term will probably be slightly worse. I think it evens out to be positive in the end, but I don´t particularly care about whether they are happy or not to be fair. Oh well. Can´t have everything go your way.

...
''The Lyseni have left'' Daemon states flatly while sipping some wine ''To secure the submission of the old tributaries of Volantis. Volon Therys, Selhorys, and Valysar,'' He puts his finger on Myr, we are seated at a table with a big map on top. Orys is not here as I have him keeping the order within the army. ''A Volantene host was crushed here by a Tyroshi and Stormlander force under King Argillac. The last remaining Volantene army is up on the Rhoyne, near Norvos and Qohor. The Last news I received from there was that the commander proclaimed himself a triarch for life and savior of the city in the wake of our destruction here.''

''Worse of luck to him !'' I say with cheer while drinking ale ''May his days be miserable and his life short !''

My uncle rolls his eyes at my attempts at being funny.

''Nephew.'' He says calmly ''You should not allow these Lyseni to dictate the future of Essosi politics on their own. We are at an unique position to serve as arbiter , perhaps we could demand something from the old tributaries and raze them in case of resistance? Or set up some friendly government here in Volantis that could help our trade ?''

''No'' I sipped ''I want to leave as soon as possible !''

''Why ?'' My uncle asked with confusion.

My actual reasons are very simple.

The Essosi will not accept the return of Valyrian dragon riders. They are fine asking for our help, but if we start taking territories they will freak out about an actual return to Valyria and we will be embroiled in a fucking mess that we don´t need while invading Westeros. My family might even get attacked by faceless men. There is a reason Jaehaerys had to back down when he thought of going toe to toe with Braavos.

Also, I wanna get back to banging Rhaenys as soon as possible. The best I´ve got here in Volantis is jerking off on the toilet. Don´t judge me for it you freaks, you guys do it while watching anime girls, I conjure a mental image of my wife. It´s not the same at all. I am not cheating even in thought when I do it.

You can decide for yourself which reason was more decisive, wanting to bang my wife or wanting to live.

''Because'' I say smoothly ''My brother has decided to set his eyes west. And interfering further here in Essos is asking to become stuck in their problems. We attacked Volantis for a reason uncle , and that was to prevent them from meddling with my Aegon´s plans for Westeros. Going any further is not necessary and might even be harmful. Lys owes us a great debt , they will be friendly to us and it would not be harmful to our interests if they were to take over.''

''Aegon´s plans ?'' My uncle asks with a frown.

Shoot. He hasn´t told anyone else about the conquest.

''Forget I said that. Just work on getting everything ready so we can sail back to Dragonstone as soon as possible.''

''As you command.'' Daemon said curtly.

''Oh, just one more thing. Make sure whoever is guarding our gold is loyal. I don´t want more thefts.''

Daemon nodded

Goodness gracious.

I need a nap.

Chapter Text

Honey! I´m home!

Surely you missed your husband dear, Daeron the dastardly, the magnificent, the glorious, the unstoppable, Raven-feeder, Cro-

I´m not finishing that last one.

It took Orys, Daemon and I far longer to return to Dragonstone than I am willing to admit. First off, we had to use some Ships that were built for trading in order to transport our loot. These vessels have impressive capacity, but uhm...they´re big and slow. So the rest of the fleet also had to sail slower to ensure they didn´t get lost. We also made a month-long stop on the Stepstones for...reasons you people don´t need to know. The weather was not in our favor when it came to the wind, though thankfully, we faced no Storms to ruin everything I so arduously worked for. I would have gone flying, but Shrykos is still healing her wing and, while she still flies with some effort , I did not want to burden her with my weight.

Oh and to top it all off, I got fucking Diarrhea. And toilets aren´t a thing on warships, you just have to shit out onto the sea. Poor sea. Dealing with pollution before we even have plastic to fill it up with. Oh well, I never believed in Greenpeace anyway. Trying to stop forest burnings, as if they understood the art of fire.

Because of all this slowness, I am sure my siblings have heard of the success of the sack , but I doubt they have heard any details , rumors are very untrustworthy after all.

I stood at the prow of the Sea song, My Uncle´s flagship. Orys and Daemon were right beside me and we looked on as Dragonstone got closer and closer in the distance. Ah, how I missed it! After a nice string of atrocities and war crimes, I think I need some refreshments and cozy rest. Especially rest that involves having a certain sister in my arms...hehe...

I turned to look at Orys, who instinctively cringed at my eyepatch. Which of course only made me like it more. In truth, I started using this thing as a random flight of fancy, but now I am actively enjoying the fact that just by seeing it my family cringes. It is fun to cause that type of reaction. I am a memelord after all. I smirked a bit

''Is something wrong brother ?''

Orys sighed ''No. Nothing at all Daeron.''

''Good !'' I reply, cheerfully patting his shoulder ''Are you excited brother? It´s been a bit since we´ve been here and...'' I grin widely, looking down at my shining armor! ''We brought gifts !''

Orys chuckled ''And what gifts these are...''

''Are you enjoying your axe ?''

He shrugged ''Haven´t had anyone to use it on.''

''Fair. What about the hammer ?''

He frowned ''The same thing. Though I don´t understand why you are so obsessed with giving me that hammer. I am not complaining but just...why ?''

''My goals are beyond your understanding, Orys.'' I replied ''You might not be ready for this, but your sons are going to love it. Just make sure to name your firstborn Robert, alright ?''

''Robert? That is a very...unique name. For some reason, I have an Ill feeling about it.''

''Don´t. Just listen to your little brother, and everything will be fine Orys. Absolutely everything.''

He snorted ''If you say so.''

I grumbled in annoyance. He laughed and did a friendly slap on my back. ''Stop whinining. What do you say we hit the inns tomorrow ?''

''It´s a deal.''

''We are about to dock'' Uncle Daemon said curtly , not caring about my banter with Orys in the slightest. He´s a boring serious guy.

''Nuncle, what about you ? What are you going to do in Driftmark ?''

He shrugged. ''See Aethan and Corlys...Trade. Make more coin. The same as always...only in a grander scale , of course.''

I frown ''Corlys? Who´s that ?''

Daemon looked offended '' My son.'' He replied curtly ''He was born after you left my forstership. I had thought you would know that.''

''I didn´t,'' I say with a big smile on my face.

''That I can see.'' He said with annoyance.

Come on now, Am I supposed to keep tags on what my uncle is doing? I can barely keep track of myself! That´s way too much commitment for Daemon Velaryon. Sorry guy, but ain´t no way I was gonna know that unless someone told me to my face.

We reached the harbor and docked our ships. I leaped out of the deck while looking super cool. The people were all staring in awe at my awesome armor. It´s not every day you get the glorious privilege of being in the presence of Daeron the based. And I am based , war crimes are cool after all.

''You'' I say while looking at a peasant boy. ''Yes, YOU! Come over here.''

He approached me with a worried look, likely thinking today was the day he met his maker. ''Y...yes Milord ?''

I step closer to him, while not saying anything. He looks intimidated and I can´t help but chuckle a bit. ''Are you having a nice day ?''

He looks scared and confused. I can see some sweat in his brow. ''I...I uhm...Yes, Milord...''

I put my hand on his head and ruffled his hair. ''Good...That´s good.''

I smile at him, apparently that only makes him more terrified. ''See, I would be so very grateful if you were to find where Lord Aegon and the Ladies Visenya and Rhaenys are, and warn them that their beloved brother has returned. Did you get that? Could you do it for me ?''

''Y..Yes, milord.''

''Then what are you waiting for ?''

The boy runs off to complete his fetch quest. Noice. I can scare people as if I were Batman, just without the zoophilia.

''Did you have to do that ?'' Orys asked with annoyance

''Yes.''

I then turn back to my uncle. ''Take out the loot.''

He nodded before commanding the ship crews to begin grabbing the chests of wealth that we´d filled up. The slaves that I had captured were scattered along various ships. The reason is simple, they can´t plan an organized escape or resistance or anything that I don´t like if they are split up. Divide and conquer.

I saw Meraxes flying high above, in the sky. My wife´s dragon is actually pretty good-looking, with her silver scales being kinda shiny. I waved from here, I doubt Rhaenys can see *me*, but I know she can see the fleet, she can put two and two together. I see her fly away from my sight, probably going to land, and then come over her. Oh well, I interrupted her Joyride, but I did bring nice gifts, so maybe it was worth it?

More and more ships begin to dock, and they begin to bring out the many and I do mean *many* chests of loot. Most of it is cold hard coin. Way too much coin. But we also had enough to fill multiple chests with all the other luxuries and stuff. The Valyrian steel weapons each just got a chest for themselves, except the Dagger that I carry around on my person. It is a gift for my wife. I am supposed to give it a little more care. Even if I am completely sure she will not give the absolute slightest fuck about it. *SIGHS* Marriage is a trap and I jumped right into the net like a fish. Oh well, can´t exactly get out of it now, can I?

Why do I have a feeling that is gonna age like milk...

I begin to open up some of the chests and to put them in the most dramatic way possible, showing just how much wealth and stuff I brought back. A true con artist knows that scenery is just as important as performance, You don´t have to be smart, you have to look smart, and to look smart, you need to show that you´re smart. And that´s where a proper scenery comes in! Smart people are successful, show that you are successful too!

It didn´t take me very long to get everything ready and going! I just needed my dearest siblings to arrive.

And they did!

Aegon and Visenya at least, took them long enough. They came mounted on two big warhorses, they wore quite formal clothes, probably were working or something like that. Unlike Rhaenys who was just having fun. Can´t blame her for it.

At first, their reaction was that of average satisfaction. I am their brother and I came back victorious from a pretty major battle, there´s no reason for them to be mad , especially since they have likely heard that I was coming back with booty. Then they had a jaw-drop moment because they noticed my Valyrian steel armor. And I have never felt as smug as I am right now. Hehehe...I can literally feel the arrogant smirk forming on my lips.

''Hello,'' I say, trying to look ultra unbothered. I even do the ultra-smug move of crossing my arms and looking away with my eyes closed.

Visenya basically jumped off the fucking horse. I did not know people were capable of doing that. She was near me in a heartbeat and I felt her hand touch the Valyrian steel.

''I...Is that ?...'' She asked with shock.

''Yep''

''By....By the fourteen...even before the Doom one of these wo...would cost a whole Kingdom! Our House was not the wealthiest in those days so...perhaps you might be the first Targaryen to ever wear one...'' She ran her hands on it ''Oh, I can almost feel the magic in it...''

''Speaking of magic...'' I pick out one of the scrolls from the chests ''I brought you some...reading material...I am sure you´ll like it...''

Visenya snatched it out of my hands and began reading, her eyes filled with a thirst for knowledge. She then hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. ''Yes...Yes...thank you, brother...I will put it all to very...good use.'' She then immediately begin to mess with the chest like the nerd she is, just looking at the Valyrian tomes and scrolls one by one

''Daeron,'' Aegon says with a happy smile. Somehow this dude refuses to look shocked in the face of a Suit of Valyrian steel armor. He had a singular moment of shock before recomposing himself.

''Aegon.''

Why do we always begin conversations like this?

''You have won me a great victory'' He patted me on the shoulder ''And for that I thank you.'' He then cleared his throat ''That...armor of yours is very...unique, to be sure. You would not, perchance, have a second suit of it ?''

''No.''

''It was worth the attempt'' I hear him mutter.

''But I have brought weapons !'' I say while picking out one of the Valyrian steel swords that I had yoinked in Volantis. ''There are many more besides this, I assure you, even Orys and Uncle Daemon have gotten their own.''

That had Aegon surprised ''Truly ?''

This time, it was Orys who answered, but all he did was show off the axe he had acquired. That made Aegon even happier, considering that he does dearly love Orys.

''See brother ?'' I say with a wide grin ''We are the house with the most Valyrian steel in the whole world! I also brought up Gold! Fineries...everything we could possibly want !''

He seems more interested now ''Gold ?'' He asked ''Enough for a city perhaps ?''

''Probably'' I shrug

He looked pleased ''I wish to build a capital when we finally invade Westeros. I cannot expect to rule over the continent from Dragonstone''

''I also brought some uhm...people''

''People ?'' He looked confused

''Artisans, smiths, a couple of Myrish glassmakers, a few freaks who claim to be sorcerors from Qohor. Slaves who served the Old Blood in Volantis to sum it up.''

''They will, of course, find me very hospitable...'' Aegon said with greed ''And they will...teach our folk here how all of these things are done...yes...it is good....'' Aegon put his hands on my shoulder ''We will have what is useful from Essos in Westeros. No longer will we have to rely on the free cities for one thing or the other...we will just make it ourselves....''

''Sorcerors ?'' Visenya asked with curiosity

''That´s what they say anyway.'' I shrug ''They might have just been tricking the Old Blood, how am I to know ?''

''Oh, but I will know'' She said darkly ''I will have the truth out of them, even if I must get...sharp with my questioning.''

I shuddered slightly. Search up what sharply questioned means.

''Brother !'' I hear the voice of Rhaenys call out. She was wearing Black Red clothing with Black leather pants and long leather boots with side open Red Vest over it that went nicely along her curves and was bound by a Belt decorated with Red Rubies. The typical stuff she liked to wear while dragonriding. Extremely specific and I don´t understand why she can´t just be normal and wear leather or armor like everyone else...But goddamn it looks hot on her. She looked very pleased and then had then looked confused.

''That....That´s Valyrian steel armor is it not ?'' She asked while scratching her hair.

''It is !'' I reply proudly

''B..but I thought they didn´t exist anymore.''

''I made one''

''Well..that´s...very nice...husband.'' She is pretty conflicted. On one hand Rhaenys is seeing literal history, like , there has not been one of these in a century. On the other hand she just...doesn´t find martial stuff interesting.

To say I felt disappointed was an understatement.

''I uhm...have a gift for you.''

She raised her eyebrows ''What ?''

I pulled out the Valyrian steel dagger ''This ...''

She got closer to me and gently took it from my hands, she stared at it for a bit before putting it down ''Uhm...Thank you.''

I deflate.

Why do I even bother trying to please her anyway?

I am feeling like Leon in RE4 ...*sighs* Women.

''A...are you not going to name it ?'' I Ask with a forced smile

She shrugs ''Later.''

''I...I uhm...brought you some ...uhm...silks from Volantis and uhm...Jewels, rings, ornaments...those things...''

Now her interest was peaked.

''Where are they? Tell me *NOW* !''

I point at one of the open chests, feeling defeated. Rhaenys rushes to them and begins looking at clothes while giggling with delight.

My misery must have been evident, as Orys came from behind me to put a comforting hand on my shoulder. ''I feel for you brother....''

''N...no no , this is nothing...''

You know when you say you´re fine, but you´re not really fine? Yeah, that´s me right now.

''Rhaenys'' I heard Visenya hiss ''Show your husband some respect !''

Thank you

Thank you so much

Rhaenys looked embarrassed. She sighed ''Look...Daeron...I am very touched that you brought these things for me and Uhm...Valyrian steel armor is certainly...different...It´s just I...don´t like weapons...armor...things about war. I just...don´t like it...But uhm....it...looks nice with how shiny it is...hehe...'' She gave me a sheepish smile.

I sighed. ''Fine. At least appreciate the other things I give you. I burned a city for them, if you don´t value what I gift you, I might as well just stop.''

''That I will !'' She giggled ''This dress matches my form perfectly! I want to try them all! I want to put on all these rings and bracelets and I want you to watch me !''

''Me ?''

''Yes! You are my husband after all and'' She came near me with a smirk to whisper ''Can you really say you won´t enjoy the sight? Say, in my great gratitude for what you brought me, we can have some fun afterward...''

My mood very quickly improves ''Yes...but I go on top. You know that is how I prefer it.''

''Fine'' She replied

Considering just how much I get my teeth kicked in, and that I was pretty much clowned on by slaves, having my dick sucked a bit is a nice ego boost.

It´s good to be me.

Chapter Text

''I like this'' Rhaenys said softly while running her hands on the fabric of a blue dress ''I like it very much...It feels...good.''

''If you say so'' I reply with indifference. She sighs, throwing it in the bed behind her. We are in our bedchambers and Rhaenys is playing dress up and forcing me to do it too. She picks them out from a chest one by one and then tries them on with jewels and ornaments I brought.

''Which one do you prefer ?'' Rhaenys asked me while pointing at the Clothes she had just thrown on the bed. ''That blue one or the Yellow I am wearing now ?''

''You look good in all of them.''

Rhaenys narrows her eyes ''Don´t try and trick me Daeron. I know you men try and dodge the *real* questions. Which Dress do you think looks better ?!''

''The one you wear while changing.''

She frowned ''But I don´t wear any while changing.''

''Exactly'' I say with a grin

Rhaenys went red with a mix of embarrassment and anger ''Oh you-''

''Dashing handsome example of masculinity ?'' I said while closing my eyes ''Yes. That´s me alright.''

''Idiot'' She replied ''Complete idiot.''

''I´m not the one that goes flying while trying to look good. Really? A belt with rubies? a vest? Can´t you be normal and just wear armor or riding leather like everyone else ?''

Rhaenys seemed offended ''I am beautiful and I like looking my best! There is nothing wrong with that''

''There is one thing wrong with that. It´s stupid. How do you not freeze to death? Why don´t you want any protection against arrows ?''

Rhaenys scoffed and smirked smugly ''Please. When I am flying with Meraxes, I am completely untouchable. Nothing can hurt me at all. I am too good a rider to ever be caught. The very idea is ridiculous!''

''Do you want to test that? If so, go to Hellholt and we´ll see how it ends up for you.''

Rhaenys got annoyed and crossed her arms ''Why do you always make comments like that about me? I remember when we were children you mentioned me getting plucked out of the sky by a bolt to the eye on my dragon. But that just can´t happen! It´s so frustrating when you speak like that Daeron'' She shuddered ''I cannot even begin to imagine the horror of falling from up above...being...forced down...ewww...I Hate even thinking about going through such a thing, not only would it be terrifying...but the humiliation of being...shot down and grounded...is too much to bear...''

''Then perhaps'' I say with a smug grin ''You should do what your dear brother says and just wear armor, it won´t save you if Meraxes goes down, but it will save you the humiliating end of being the first dragon rider to be taken down by a peasant shooting an arrow.''

She waved dismissively ''I just won´t get hit is all.''

''You don´t choose to get hit Rhaenys. I can guarantee you, I did not want to get shot on the shoulder in the stepstones as a child. And it hurt like hell. And even now , I did not choose to have Shrykos get hurt in the wing.''

Rhaenys had the look of your average housecat after getting what he wanted. Smug, cute, and extremely evil. ''And how did you get your dragon hurt again ?''

''Uhm...by getting shot at ?''

''Why were you getting shot at ?''

''Because I...flew straight to the walls ?''

''Precisely !'' Rhaenys said, putting her hands on her hips ''You ran *into* trouble. You are supposed to dodge, husband. And what moronic Idea was that to use a Dragon as a battering ram? Just...Just burn the people shooting at you !''

''S...Shut up...''

''Make me'' She said with a giggle.

''I hate you''

''You hate that I am right''

I didn´t really have an answer to that. So I just kept glaring at her with my arms crossed. Rhaenys thought it was hilarious and started laughing, which only made me look angrier and glare more, which in turn only made her laugh more. ''This isn´t funny. I am trying to give you good advice here and you´re just laughing at it. Don´t come crying when someone finally does manage to hurt your pretty body''

Rhaenys smiled sweetly at me and got close ''Don´t worry about me at all'' She kissed me on the cheeks ''I´ll be fine. Absolutely nothing can touch me when I fly with Meraxes. Just because I don´t like swords and...weapons and such doesn´t mean I am weak, alright...''

I wrap my arms around her and kiss her on the lips. It was quick but man did it feel good. ''Speaking of...did you name the Dagger I gave you ?''

''What´s the point? Dragons are-''

''Invincible yes yes I get what you say. But you can´t be on Meraxes all the time, you need a weapon to defend yourself.''

Rhaenys looked annoyed, then had the equivalent of a lightbulb being lit in her brain and looked far too satisfied with herself.'' Jonquil´s kiss.''

''No.''

''It´s mine, I can name it whatever I want.''

''Please, I am begging you''

''You could get on your knees and it wouldn´t change my mind''

''You´re just doing this to tease me !''

Her only reply was smirking.

''I hate your stupid bards and singers.''

Rhaenys looked as if she had been slapped in the face, girl even gasped and got as pale as Casper the ghost ''You can´t mean that !''

''I do. You just listen to the same songs over and over again. I don´t need to be reminded of how the bear and the maiden fair goes for the thousandth time. Florian and Jonquil don´t even make sense!''

''Hmph'' She said , looking away like a brat ''You just don´t have good taste.''

''Quite the opposite.''

She grit her teeth with a vicious smile ''Tell you what, I´ll ask the bards to compose a song about my dearest husband and his smashing of Volantis. They will make Aegon the greatest lord of all time and you will be his brave knight and me? I will be the fair maiden that you just can´t wait to return to, to be in the bliss of my arms...'' Rhaenys giggles. ''When we conquer Westeros, I will make sure they write songs about us...''

I frown ''I massacred thousands, you had nothing to do with why I did it and Aegon couldn't care less. How am I a knight ?''

Rhaenys rolls her eyes ''Forget those details. I just want the Westerosi to sing about us! I´ll tell the bards to show to the smallfolk how beautiful and kind we are, how just and wise !'' Rhaenys giggled.

''You mean you´re going to tell them to lie.''

You´re fake news Rhaenys.

She had a coy smile and an amused glint in her eyes ''Not lie...just...tell things a bit dramatically...every song needs a hero in shining armor and a beautiful princess after all. ...but if they decide to make us more glorious then we really are...I certainly won´t rue it. '' She ran her finger in my chest ''You do have the shining armor part of things covered after all''

''Sure.'' I say smiling ''But what are they going to call me? Daeron Cro-''

''No'' She said, cringing. ''Stop. D...Don´t finish that sentence....''

''I think I should go fetch my eyepatch now.''

Rhaenys had a look of triumph in her face ''Good luck with that. I threw it in the fire while you were sleeping.''

''That is Treason !''

''I did the best for my husband'' My sister said, smugly ''That is what every good wife does.''

I shrug

''I can just find another one you know.''

She had a brain fart moment.

''...Oh...''

...

''Do you hear that ?'' Rhaenys asked. We were in bed after uhm... nightly activities.

''The faint screams of pain ?''

''Yes.'' Rhaenys replied, coming closer to me, almost as if she wanted me to protect her. Won´t whine. It feels noice.

''Eh, it´s probably either our imagination or Visenya torturing someone in the dungeons.''

''That´s horrible! How can you say it as if it were nothing ?!''

I frowned ''Weren´t you the one totally happy and content with going to war and slaughtering thousands as long as we came out with something out of our victory ?''

''It´s not the same !''

''Why ?''

''Well...uhm...because there´s no cruelty in it !''

''Getting burned alive hurts plenty.''

''Shut up.''

''Make me.''

''I hate you''

I smirked ''You hate that I am right.''

Being on the winning side of that argument feels very nice you know.

Chapter Text

She found her husband in the chamber of the painted table.

That stupid table had finally been completed. And now Aegon was like a child, gliding his hand over it all day and mumbling about plots and plans. Of all the things in the world to create an obsession with, a *Table* was not one Visenya expected to deal with in her lifetime. Though it was certainly easier than what Poor Rhaenys had been dealing with. Supposedly Daeron had been caught half-drunk and naked doing something Rhaenys was too embarrassed to mention at the edge of a window. Compared to her younger brother, dealing with a damned Table seemed easy enough. Still, Visenya was to give her youngest brother a sharp lesson, enough drunkenness from him.

Aegon had the biggest smile on his face, staring down at the Blackwater. He was dressed quite casually. He had put 5 thrones in the room, one for each Targaryen and Orys. She thought it looked...mildly amusing. ''Aegon'' Visenya said, trying to be gentle and kind at first. He did not reply. Vexing. ''Aegon'' She tried a second time, but he did not listen again.

This is why she never bothers with being pleasant.

''AEGON !'' She said, slapping his back so hard that Aegon temporarily lost his breath. He stumbled back a couple of steps. ''At least he´s listening now.'' Visenya thought drily

''What was that for !?'' He cried out with annoyance, still taking shallow breaths.

''Stop whining. I needed you to listen. You are made of sterner stuff, if all it takes to put you down is a slap, then you are a weakling. And weaklings are not conquerors. Compose yourself, NOW! '' She replied harshly.

Aegon grits his teeth in annoyance ''Should I now have to worry about being attacked by my wife from behind? You could have at least used words first! I swear Daeron doesn´t deal with this...''

''Unbelievable'' She muttered out. How can someone be so oblivious? Visenya would be entertained. If she wasn´t feeling so FRUSTRATED! The Lady of Dragonstone shook her head.

Aegon sighed and waved ''Let´s just...leave it behind us. It is for the best.''

''Yes'' Visenya replied. She took a deep breath ''I have something for you.''

Aegon raised his eyebrow ''What ?''

She threw a pebble in his direction. Aegon caught it without difficulty. At first, he seemed confused, then intrigued ''Dragon Stone ?''

Visenya nodded. Feeling satisfied with herself. ''I have discovered how to replicate it...twas not too difficult in the end. But it is quite...costly. I studied those Valyrian texts that Daeron brought with him from Volantis...they were incomplete, though they did have some interesting information relating to the old magic of the freehold. I combined it with our father´s old library and got closer. Afterward, I questioned those supposed sorcerors that were employed by the Old Blood, two were frauds. The Third however had some small level of knowledge. Unfortunately, he tried to set a curse on me, so I had him questioned more sharply. He did not survive.''

''Dragon Stone...and most Valyrian magic takes power from blood sacrifice. But the Stone is unique in this regard, it works by fusing the souls of the dead with regular Stone. Souls tend to try and slip away, into some place or another. That is why we employ Dragonfire to make sure it stays together. Dragons are creatures of magic after all.''

''How much did it take...to make only this pebble ?'' Aegon asked curiously

''Three lives.'' She replied

Aegon seemed deep in thought ''For a pebble ?...'' He shrugged ''I suppose we will shed enough blood when we make our landing. I will have a castle built from this'' He stared out the window, looking at the salt sea outside. ''We will have the greatest castle in Westeros, Visenya. One that will show the greatness of our house...Our capital will be splendorous''

''You think too Small, Aegon.'' Visenya replied ''We could make so much more than just a castle...''

He frowned ''And where exactly would we get the...material...for that? Or do you propose we ruin the lands we wish to rule ?'' Aegon shook his head ''I want a kingdom, not ashes. I am not interested in destruction for destruction´s sake, all those who understand that I am meant to rule Westeros will be allowed to keep their lands and their titles. Or if they surrender afterward...Look here, sister, look here.''

Visenya sighed and stared down at the damned table. ''What is it you want me to see ?''

Aegon pointed at Oldtown ''The faith. It will be our greatest adversary I fear...The Vale of Arryn would be insurmountable for nearly any foe , but Dragons fly. The Riverlands will be the easiest, I can see all the River lords rising up in revolt against Black Harren. The Stormlanders ought to have some mild resistance. Argillac Durrandon is an experienced warrior after all...The Westerlands...''

''Casterly Rock cannot be burned'' Visenya said flatly ''If Lannister hides inside his fortress then not even our Dragons will force him out. He would have to be starved. A siege...could take years, mayhaps even a decade''

Aegon bit his lip in frustration ''Fair...But it will not come to that, I am sure...And if it does, I am patient. Lannister will bend. They will all bend.'' He cleared his throat ''The Reach...in of itself is a threat. Of course, The Gardners hold an iron Loyalty in their lords, Few will pass over to our side without at least some fighting. They control the food supply of the Continent and they hold the biggest armies...But it is nothing that our Dragons cannot handle. My only concern is burning the fields. The Riverlands are a ruin from the misrule of Black Harren and those lands are the only other seller of food who can compare, If the crop fields from the Reach are burned, the whole of Westeros could Starve''

''Then do it in only one battle'' Visenya replied ''And make sure that the Gardners are destroyed. We want The Reach either sworn to us directly or divided.''

Aegon nodded in agreement

''The Iron Islands'' Visenya said while pointing at Orkmont ''Should not bring too much trouble. Their strength is in their ships, and Ships burn. From there only the North and Dorne remain.'''

''And the Faith.'' Aegon said with a serious tone ''The Faith will be, as I said, our greatest adversary ...I would have us come to some agreement with them...''

''We say the words that make these pigs stay put here and there. We do not burn them and we pay lipservice to their ideas. In exchange, they do not bother us. That is the only deal they would have from me. And if these septons and septas are not satisfied, we kill them all.'' Visenya replied

Aegon sighed ''Save for the Ironmen, every man, woman, and child south of the Neck follows the Seven. I do not care much for the gods...but they do. If I was to anger the High septon to the point he declared a Holy war against our family, we would have to fight them all! It would be chaos, and I do not like Chaos. I am unsure whether we could even truly win such a war, after all, what would be the point of a King with no subjects? They will have trouble accepting our marriages...Incest is abominable in their eyes. I am sure our four Dragons and the sheer shock of our assault will make them more...tractable. Our Children I am not so sure...''

''Stop complicating something simple. And no one may name a child of mine abomination, under pain of death. Our blood must be kept pure.''

''Yes...'' Aegon sighed ''The North could be quite the nightmare. The Crag is narrow and the folk there enjoy attacking and running. We would not find much use for our Dragons there...And moving an Army through those Northern winters would be difficult as well...but If we burn their castles and stop them from buying food. The Northmen will have no choice but to kneel. Dorne? We will have all the other six Kingdoms to strike at them. That and 4 Dragons, we will give them one chance at surrender. If they resist then we will destroy them. The Dornish have no great hosts, their lands are poor and they have no food to sustain themselves...what could they possibly do? Melt into the sands.'' He scoffed.

''Dirty Rhoynar scum...'' Visenya muttered. ''I would hope they decide to fight. Nymeria escaped Valyria, her sons will not flee a second time.''

''Yes...'' Aegon chuckled ''It is one way to see things...'' He put a hand on her back ''Do you understand what we will build , Visenya ?... We will live in a Castle made out of the Dragon Stone you discovered, its walls as black, thick, and tall as those of Valyria. But we will not keep ourselves stuck to the east...we will not need them for anything anymore. Essos I mean. I have a thought to make a small settlement here in Dragonstone, out of those Slaves that Daeron brought from Volantis. Glassmakers, Artisans...The things that are Worth keeping from Essos. We will bring it all to Westeros, I will have them teach the populace here at Dragonstone how to produce it themselves so that we may never need to look East of Dragonstone again. What we build here is not Valyria reborn or any such nonsense, but something new entirely, sister. A kingdom, Our Kingdom.''

Chapter Text

Rhaenys had never been religious. Her elder sister and father had been fanatical in their adoration of the Fourteen Flames. Her mother had liked the seven. She still did in fact. Having decided to spend her widowhood praying at a sept for Aerion. Rhaenys however, had never cared for one side or the other. She thought all those things were so boring and dull.

That said.

If any god were to show up to help her now, he would earn her eternal devotion.

''Br...HOW CAN YOU EVEN LIVE LIKE THIS ?!'' She shouted at the sight of her Brother-Husband looking...wasted. Drunk and dirty. He was naked but mercifully his...lower parts were covered by the sheets in the bed. Daeron even seemed half-asleep. He was smelling, he had completely ruined their bed.

''S...Stop shouting...'' He had the audacity to not even open his eyes. Treating this...disaster as some small little thing ''I...U....*hiccup*....Just...Sleep....'' She instinctively took a step back at the smell of wine. Rhaenys had never really understood why Daeron liked bathing himself so much, it had seemed strange to her. That said, it would be far more tolerable if he didn´t get himself into this type of...condition just as often. She felt her temper flare up

''NO!'' She moved to grab him and put him up ''You are not sleeping or resting. You are going to make yourself presentable, clean yourself, and maybe have a meal...A...ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING ?!''

''L...LEEEENYYYYYY....I LOVE YOU LENNY! W...Where are you LENNY?'' He stumbled out of her hold and hit his head hard on the ground. ''Oof...''

Rhaenys narrowed her eyes. Who was this...Lenny? It did not sound like the name of any woman she knew. Or really any woman at all. Well...She knew of sword swallowers...but she would be very surprised if Daeron was one...that...would be unexpected...Rhaenys did not accept the idea of getting cuckolded just on principle. But getting cuckolded by a man would be...a very...different feeling. She didn´t know whether the humiliation or the confusion would be more prominent.

''Husband....'' She said, softening her voice. Hoping that would make his drunken mind easier to control and just tell her what she needed to know. Rhaenys tried putting her hands on him gently ''Who is this...Lenny ?...I would like to meet this...person...I would be a very good friend !'' Rhaenys would feed this individual to Meraxes. She might have enjoyed flirting and teasing with men, but she had not...cuckolded Daeron it had just been a little bit of fun, she was faithful, and really , her husband didn´t know about it, and what he didn´t know he couldn´t feel hurt by. Rhaenys wouldn´t accept being on the receiving end.

He seemed confused, his eyes widening and a drunken giggle coming out of his lips ''For the blind...Lenny is the light...''

She completely lost her temper and slapped him twice in the face , hard. He fell to the ground a second time. Rhaenys felt quite shocked. She had gotten angry before. But never to the point of violence. ''O...oh...I...I am sorry...'' Rhaenys tried lifting him up ''Sorry...'' She had left a red mark in his face.

Rhaenys saw some servants by the door watching the whole scene with expressions of fear and concern. ''I want this room cleaned'' Rhaenys said ''My...brother is in a very...fragile...state. I want him bathed and fed. Prepare a hot meal for him, something good.''

''Y...yes Milady'' Replied one of the servants.

''I also do not want him getting wine. Or any drink besides water. Is that Understood ?''

''B...but If Lord Daeron requests it, we cannot refuse him...''

She felt her temper flare again ''DO AS I SAY !'' She almost recoiled...this was not her...She had never shouted or abused the serving folk of the castle...Rhaenys had been having some mood swings as of late...but this was quite extreme.

''O...Of..course'' They hurried off to complete their tasks. Rhaenys would have asked them to stop for a bit so she could try and speak in a kinder tone...but she was just feeling so fatigued. Her head ached slightly and she felt dizzy...

''I need to ride Meraxes..'' She thought ''To clear my mind...''

''Wait !'' Rhaenys said to some maid who cleaned the room ''Help me get dressed. For Dragonriding.''

And so it was. Rhaenys always thought it queer that her younger brother put his clothes on himself. Every other highborn had servants for that, for some reason he liked doing it on his own. She didn´t care all that much if truth be told. She chose to wear a red vest and some leather pants that were kept together by a belt. Rhaenys liked this one. It made her look good!

''Thank you'' She said to the maid. Hoping that would make all the servants forget about her little outburst. They only nodded and she had to sigh. Rhaenys could not stand the idea of being hated. She liked being liked.

Rhaenys went to the caves of Dragonstone, where the Dragons were Stashed and the Dragonkeepers dwelled. She knew them all well. After all , Rhaenys spent every moment she had for herself either with bards or flying. She would have asked for a song to ease her mood...but she just had this persistent headache that wouldn´t go away.

There she found her Dear Meraxes. The Dragon was silver and she loved her so much! Rhaenys asked for some gloves from the Dragonkeepers, they were quite soft and felt comfortable in her hands. She patted Meraxes in the snout. When it came to Dragons, hers was the most...social...if you will. Meraxes certainly had a temper and could kill anyone who provoked her too much. But when compared to Vhagar who had once swallowed the son of a keeper whole for the grave sin of entering her cave well...Meraxes seemed almost tame.

She mounter her dear dragon. Who let out a noise of satisfaction. Rhaenys giggled ''Spoiled girl...Mother loves you! now, FLY !'' Meraxes took to the air and Rhaenys instantly felt better. Sighing with satisfaction.

It was good, that flying felt the same...Really, these last few days had just been so awkward for her...she had felt some mood swings, and headaches...so tired, nothing was going how she wanted. Even her moonblood had done the disservice of not coming yet. Punctuality was not a concept anyone was valuing. A drag it was.

But all of that could be set aside now. She was in the air. Rhaenys loved the wind blowing on her face and on her air and the Sky was hers, completely hers. She could enjoy herself at her leisure and there was not one thing anyone could do about it. When she was flying, no one could reach or bother her in absolutely any way. Her brother occasionally brought up the idea of getting shot down...but that would just *never* happen to her. She was too fast and too skilled as a rider to ever have something as measly as a scorpion bolt kill her. She was invincible !

Rhaenys did not have much pretense of being humble, though she liked to think of herself as kindhearted. She had her pride as a dragon rider specifically. Rhaenys chose where to go and, on a Dragon, none had the right to contest that right. The idea of being...*forced* down, grounded, on the level of everyone else by some commoner was...as humiliating as it was terrifying. She shuddered at the thought. Looking downwards, she was above the clouds and that fall...''Best not to dwell on it...''

Now. Rhaenys did think of herself as better than most. Because she had a Dragon. However, that was not any fault of everyone else they just...had bad luck and were in desperate need of guidance and protection from their betters! Rhaenys knew she would be an amazing Lady! She would do her best to make sure any subjects she had were fed and kept safe from outlaws or injustices, no harm would befall them if it could be avoided. She would also make sure they understood just how lucky they were to be under the rule of the Targaryens.

Perhaps...some of the songs she planned to be sung by bards far and wide included some...exaggerations and even one or two lies that made her family look better. But was it so bad? Rhaenys was not really opposed to lying in order to get what she wanted, for her, people don´t feel what they can´t see, so make sure they only see good things. Violence, while not something she thought herself talented in, or enjoyable, was also not something Rhaenys would avoid if it came down to it. She was certain that the smallfolk and peasantry would not harbor any grudges for it, nor the nobility once enough time had passed. Sometimes, people need a sharp lesson. But Rhaenys did not find herself to have any enthusiasm for the war itself, only what came after it. The only exception was the Dornish. Rhaenys felt an urge to destroy Dorne. She did not truly know why. Perhaps Visenya had rubbed off on her. At any rate, she intended to make them all love her and to rule as peacefully as possible. That seemed very reasonable to her. For the nobles...Rhaenys would love playing matchmaker. It would be amazing and they would all be happy. It would only be a coincidence that all the weddings would happen to support her family´s interests. Those two things do not need to be in opposition to each other.

She patted Meraxes again...''Faster! Faster !'' Her Dragon was only eager to comply and Rhaenys laughed while she flew. This was so good !. She also enjoyed being fancy in her flying, making some maneuvers that the faint of heart would call ''reckless'' or ''dangerous'', so what if she flew upside down for some minutes? Rhaenys saw nothing wrong with it and scoffed at the notion of falling.

This had truly been what she needed...even if the headaches are not gone, at least she feels better now. Mood swings are not something she wanted, her family already had Daeron, and that was enough instability.

Chapter Text

The past.

Aegon´s father had always been quite obsessed with it. And that had irked Aegon all his youth. After all, he wanted to be remembered too! Aegon knew he was every bit as strong and clever as his ancestors, so why should he keep looking up to them as if they had always known better at all things and all times? If they were so great, where are they now? Clearly in the minds of the Targaryen lords of Dragonstone. Who meddled in the bloodbath that was Essos, with differing results. His brother Daeron had been successful there, as had his ancestor Gaemon the Glorious and his wife Daenys the Dreamer. Yet most had not, leading to the deaths of multiple Dragons. Of the Dragons brought from Valyria before the Doom, only Balerion survived. all the others had perished either from fighting or old age. And before his brother, they could not claim to have gotten much from it. Essos was the past, it was a trap. A trap that kept him bound to mediocrity.

He had felt overshadowed by the Freehold. And how could he not? Aegon knew he could not repair what the Doom had destroyed. He was only one man after all, not a god. Thus he turned his eyes elsewhere...

Westeros.

Valyria of old had a council of 40 to decide its actions. Aegon thought it rubbish. The Andals had a peculiar tradition that interested him greatly: Kingship. One man commands and others obey. That concept appealed to him greatly, after all , he was the rider of the Black Dread, who could possibly hold the right to command him? No one. others were to be commanded. He did not bother with pretenses or justifications when it came to himself, if Aegon wanted something, he would take it through force or words, but he would have it in the end.

And Aegon wanted Westeros.

He had traveled to it in his younger days. As a child, he had visited the citadel. What Aegon saw were seven Kingdoms, all of them weak in strength but wealthy in their own way. He saw division. He saw opportunity. Aegon might not have been able to bring back Valyria, but he could create his own Kingdom. His own glory. One that would last one thousand years. Aegon did not take pleasure in the idea of burning thousands alive. But neither did he care about it. He wanted Westeros and he would have it, one way or another. He would have Balerion and Blackfyre. Tools they were, means to an end. Nothing more.

Yet he also had 4 siblings, who were more than tools. Though they would serve as that too during his conquest.

Orys was his eldest and a friend. His best companion, he cared little for the company of those who were not of his own blood. Orys had been with Aegon since he was a child and had helped him learn how to fight, alongside the master at arms Quenton Qoherys. His mother had disapproved of his friendship. Aegon had not cared. Orys was strong, brave and loyal. That was all Aegon could ask of a brother. He had shared laughs and smiles with him, and those were rare to Aegon. He preferred being deep in thought and alone most of the time.

Visenya was his eldest sister and wife. Aegon had learned to value her counsel. She was a dragon rider, riding bronze Vhagar. Aegon did feel affection towards her, but not how a man loves his wife. He remembered his frustration at being made to wed her. He found her too stern and controlling, going so far as to use sorcery to watch him, something he thought completely absurd. There was little pleasure in the act with her. They had, however, formed a more workable partnership. She was, after all, the most eager of his blood to invade. He disagreed with her on some things. Aegon thought her far too eager to simply burn opposition. He preferred not to give reasons for lords to rebel in the first place. Aegon wanted a Kingdom, not a ruin. In the end, she would be a trusted advisor. When it came to heirs, they would produce one and then lay with each other only if the desire ever came. Something rare.

Rhaenys was his younger sister and perhaps a favorite besides Orys. He found her somewhat entertaining and endearing. Rhaenys was what Visenya was not, warm and joyful. Aegon was well aware that he was a brooding quiet man, what he needed was some livelyness. Something to snap him out of his thoughts when needed. Alas, he could not have her, though the temptation had certainly come on occasion...Rhaenys was married to his other brother and that was the end of it, Aegon had not done anything improper with her, She rode Meraxes of the silver scales. Rhaenys was quite fond of flying, more so than all the others in his family.

Daeron was his younger brother and a conundrum. Aegon found his...hedonism...quite disgusting. But his brother had proved his worth by destroying Volantis root and stem. Aegon did not...understand...what went through his brother´s head and frankly was concerned for his well-being. Daeron tended to the dramatic and Aegon did not know when his brother was speaking seriously or not. He had no taste for duty and acted more out of whims than plans, Aegon did not like unpredictability. In this way, his drunkenness was perhaps a blessing. Something to keep Daeron´s mind out of whatever mad whim he had at any given moment. He rode Shrykos the golden. Of all his siblings, Daeron was the one most in need of someone to watch over him. He was the youngest after all , a boy.

It was his responsibility, after all, to care for all his siblings. He was the Lord of Dragonstone. His father had told him as much before dying. And care for them he would, Aegon would give them all golden thrones to sit upon and rule. Taken from the lords of Westeros.

But he would make one of his own , his own capital that would stand as a monument to his glory. It would be made of Dragon Stone. Aegon did not see the issue in taking some things from Essos and the Old Freehold and using them for his own purposes. He would take from Essos what he needed and ignore the rest. The same he would do with the culture of Westeros. Some things appealed to him, others did not.

But material wealth and goods from Essos did. Daeron had brought slaves from Volantis to Dragonstone, those with knowledge of the things that made Essos powerful and unique. Myrish glass and such. Aegon had addressed them. They had been reluctant and such. Some had even cursed his brother´s name, claiming that he had done nothing more than give them a new master. Chaos soon came, and Aegon did not enjoy chaos.

He allowed them to elect a representative, who would speak on their behalf. They had done so. In the end, Aegon had made his terms clear. They would be granted privileges, autonomy and lordly protection. But in exchange, they would form ''guilds'' if you will. To teach the folk of Dragonstone their craft. They would be granted the necessary resources to produce their goods and would be allowed to build a settlement of their own where they could have their own leaders. Details such as internal organization were left to be decided by the former slaves themselves. They would be free to wed and have children.

That was all Aegon would want of them, he sent Orys Baratheon to oversee the construction of the settlement and to buy any necessary materials for their craft. House Targaryen did not lack for wealth after the sacking of Volantis. Aegon had also commanded his uncle to expand his war fleet. Aegon would be interested to see if the artisans in particular would mix their original craft with the Westerosi versions of it. He saw some value in heraldry and such. He wanted to be seen as a proper nobleman, not some Essosi barbarian or Petty warlord.

As far as Aegon was concerned, he would take what was useful from Essos and then never deal with it again. Being able to produce their goods without the need to deal with the free cities was simply wonderful. Having a capital of Dragon Stone would also be quite unique. He might not be delusional about the freehold, but there was still a certain appeal to having his city be built from their old material.

He had four dragons and the will to use them, what could stop him? He would allow the old nobility to keep their lands and titles if they submitted. Aegon was interested in their submission, their levies, their fealty, and their incomes. Not on their humiliation. The faith would prove a hassle, but Aegon had some ideas as to dealing with them. Some level of appeasement would be needed. But he would not abandon their old traditions for it. Aegon would never allow any other house to have Dragon blood. At first he would be more conciliatory, it would not do him good to continue his conquests with internal problems. Afterward, he would make sure to castrate the faith militant. He could not do so on his own, of course, but did local nobles enjoy the faith of having an armed wing that could overthrow them? Coerce them? Aegon doubted it. Perhaps he would need to take his time with it, but Aegon would not let his house have a dagger in its throat.

The faith would either learn to accept Targaryen customs, or Aegon would do his best to curb them. But he would hope to avoid an uprising. Chaos was not something he enjoyed, and destroying his own kingdom with the use of Dragons was a concern. Aegon would rather them all just submit without resistance.

Aegon would rip away with the idea of seven kingdoms, there would only be one kingdom, with one king, one queen, and one capital. No more. All those who denied it would be thrown down , humbled and destroyed.

Chapter Text

You know those moments when reality clocks you in the face?

I´m just having one of these right now...

Marriage....

IT´S A TRAP!

''I am with child, brother.'' Rhaenys told me. She was lying down in bed with a tired smile on her face. Aegon and Visenya were beside her, looking quite satisfied. Even my mother was here

''Congratulations, my son'' Mother said ''You will be a Father soon.''

I blinked ''Me?...'' I cleared my throat ''R..Rhaenys...are you...sure ?''

''The maesters have confirmed it'' She seemed very happy ''Isn´t it great Daeron? We will have a child of our own!''

''Y...yes...Fo...for sure...'' I tried giving her a nervous smile ''Very good...''

WHAT THE FUCK DO I DOOOOOOO

I AIN´T READY FOR THIS

FUCK FUCK FU- WAIT...that´s what got me in this mess in the first place...FUUUCCCCKKKKKK

CALM DOWN DAERON!

*Breathe in*

*Breathe out*

Ok...

I have absolutely no idea on what fatherhood implies. Can I go get some milk, please? I promise I´ll be back soon...shit, I´m not callous enough to abandon my wife and unborn child...why ?! I´m willing to become a mass murderer, but not leave my family?....well...I guess not...I hate responsibilities and a child might just be the biggest responsibility a man can have...Well, that certainly puts some...pressure on me...shit shit shit...

I might love banging Rhaenys, but I rarely considered the possibility of you know...actually impregnating her...god damnit...I should have told her to drink moon tea...I am....so stupid, the hell did I think was gonna happen if I continued to have sex with a fertile young woman? Fucking moron...FOOKING MUPPET!

So...I guess...I´ll raise this child...hopefully, it´s a boy. I dunno if I can handle raising a teenage girl. I mean, if it´s a boy he´ll just be some horny idiot. That´s easier to handle.

I might have gotten thrown into Westeros. But I don´t particularly care for the rules from here unless I am forced to. I have a Dragon after all. So I will raise my child however I see fit, and I do not care if they don´t fit what the folk from around here see as adequate...oh who am I kidding I´ll just spoil them to hell and back and then protect them from the consequences of their actions. The perfect way to create little Joffreys. But ain´t no way I´m having a Joffrey for a son. I can tolerate cruelty, I ain´t tolerating little bitches or morons. Either way, I´ll...try...to be a dad. I can´t promise I´ll succeed...I truly don´t know anything about this...guess I´ll wing it.

I...I guess this is a rare moment where I actually own up to what I´ve done...I...just wow.

Jesus Christ, my child is gonna come out a monstrosity right ? Having a psychopath for a father and Rhaenys for a mother. On top of general Valyrian insanity, Targaryen blood supremacy stuff and the fact this kid is gonna have a pocket nuke...What could possibly go wrong...

I´ll still love them!

I do have to admit one thing...It might be a very regressive, somewhat moronic thing. The fact I actually got Rhaenys pregnant so fast makes me feel ultra hyper-manly and virile. Yes, it´s ridiculous, also I don´t care. ME EL HOMBRE MACHO!

''Yes...'' Visenya said with a soft smile while looking at Rhaenys, before hardening her gaze. ''This means that some things will have to change. Daeron. Your time as a Drunkard is over. Whilst Rhaenys is pregnant, we will have you aid in the administration of Dragonstone, pass out lordly justice, and such. I will not accept resistance on this matter.''

WHAT!

NOOOOOO

I LIKE DRINKING! YOU CAN´T TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!

''No'' I reply instantly ''What I do to pleasure myself is not your concern. You cannot do that to me.''

''She can'' Aegon said ''And I will. No servant here in Dragonstone is to hand you wine or ale or beer whilst our sister is pregnant. I will have you sit in the hall and speak with my voice. I have had enough of your self-destruction. After I deem you able to control yourself, then you will drink again. Not before.''

FUCK YOU AEGON!

I get red with anger, but Aegon does not back down in the slightest. Neither does Visenya.

''Listen here brother'' He continues ''Beyond my simple brotherly concern for your health and wellness, Shrykos is a Dragon and you are its rider. You matter, Daeron, and I will make use of you, and your...behavior...does not suit me. So this will be done, you will submit to my command and that will be the end of it. A younger brother must always obey the elder, it is the law.''

''We have been lenient with you'' Visenya said ''Perhaps too lenient. You have done great feats already, Daeron, but you are almost a man, not a boy. And this...disgusting habit of yours will end. Do not mistake this for punishment, it is a lesson. But if you try and resist, I am willing to force you to comply. With force if needed. Do not doubt me Daeron, you know I will.''

I grit my teeth with some more anger until I feel my mother put her hand on my arm ''Son, please...calm yourself...''

''Damn you all...'' I mutter ''FINE !''

Is this what growing up feels like ?...

Rhaenys was just laughing the whole way through, she even smirked at me. ''Lovely support you are giving me, wife. I appreciate it.''

Rhaenys rolled her eyes ''It is for your own good. Learn to do as we say, dear husband. Besides, it is a hilarious sight seeing you all worked up...awww Mayhaps we should hire someone to make a painting out of your face. So puffed up like a fish'' She laughed more.

''And you'' Visenya said while turning to Rhaenys ''Will not fly during your pregnancy. I wish to see my nephew or niece born, not dead to some miscarriage.''

''WHAT !'' Rhaenys cried out in complete shock and horror. Pale as snow ''NO ! MERAXES IS MINE! I can fly whenever I want! This is not fair !''

Now I am the one that looks smug ''It is for your own good. Learn to do as we say, dear Wife.''

Rhaenys narrowed her eyes ''You think the suffering and oppression of your lady wife is a jesting matter ?!''

''I think it is hilarious.'' I reply , smirking.

Rhaenys scoffed ''This is absurd. A travesty. A complete abuse, tyrannical and unjustified at every level! I am a Targaryen, Dragon blood runs in my veins, you cannot take my right to the skies away from me, you cannot !''

Visenya glared at her ''The only blood you will have is that of your child. Fool. Think of that child in your belly instead of your desire to fly''

Rhaenys rolled her eyes ''I am the mother, sister. I know exactly what my baby can or cannot handle. I would never push too far! It would be fine, trust me. I love this child growing in me, I would never risk it..''

''No'' Visenya replied

''Pl-''

''NO ! End of discussion.''

Rhaenys looked annoyed ''I am not some infant that you can dismiss by raising your voice!'' She sighed and softened her tone ''Please, Visenya...I love to fly...''

''No'' This time it was Aegon that spoke. ''I will not have you being reckless.'' He looked at me and Rhaenys ''The two of you have yet to learn restraint and caution. The time is now.''

Rhaenys looked away, in embarrassment ''I understand...''

Visenya looked less harsh now ''I will make sure to educate my nephew or niece, Rhaenys. He will be treated with all the honors that befit a Targaryen. You will see...he will want for nothing.'' Aegon nodded, seeming quite happy for us. Visenya smiled ''I am happy for you and Daeron. Truly.''

'' Thank you sister'' I reply, still a bit miffed about the drinking business. Oh well...growing up sucks. And I essentially got grounded like a teenager...to be fair I am a Teenager. Technically not even adulthood.

''Thank you as well...'' Rhaenys replied carefully before clearing her throat.'' I would have some words with my husband. If you all...do not mind...''

''Of course...'' Aegon said. He made sure to squeeze Rhaenys´ hand before leaving. Visenya did the same, and my mother kissed Rhaenys in the cheek.

We had a brief awkward silence. Rhaenys and I just stared at each other for some moments. She looked very, very delighted. I was more on the nervous side of things...I died before being a father in my first life. I died at 17 for fucks sake...this is new ground for me. I well...I am also somewhat excited...nervous...but I always did like babies. They are cute and I like to hug them.

Rhaenys chuckled slightly ''I suppose I was a little...reckless...thinking of flying while pregnant, oh well, it was just a spur-of-the-moment decision. I am not that careless, I just truly love flying...'' She rolled her eyes ''How dare you do this to your dear sister, Daeron? Keep her grounded! So cruel!'' She giggled a bit more ''Do you think it is a boy or a girl ?''

'' I want it to be a boy. Therefore It´ll be a girl.''

''My, my, how grumpy you are! I hope it is a boy and that Aegon and Senya only have a girl...'' Rhaenys smirked mischievously ''That way our son can be a king! ''

''Humble aren´t you ?'' I reply

''I just want the best for this child we have...a Child Daeron! Ours! Our flesh and blood. Do you understand how far I am willing to go for him? If we have a daughter, I want her a queen and wed to a child of Aegon. If it is a son, I want to raise him as high as we can. A daughter of ours would be the most lovely lady to have ever been born, pleasant, kind, courteous and clever. A son would be a strong fine lad and lord, skilled at arms and trained in all ways that befit a knight...and they will be Dragonriders...I want them to be learned, I suppose the Maesters will teach them things, but we will have to make sure they understand their place in the world as Dragonlords...''

All right...Time to man up a bit...

I grabbed her hand ''Listen here Rhaenys. I will make sure that our child has a Kingdom. Not just any paltry leftovers, but the best in Westeros. I do not care if I have to fight Aegon himself for it. I will give our children a golden seat. I have my mind set...on the Westerlands. It is a rich, peaceful land where they can grow strong and healthy. Casterly Rock is a seat as fine as any, I will steal it from the Lannisters like Lann stole it from the Casterlys before him. That will be my gift to them.''

Listen...My main objective in life is still pleasuring myself in general. But I will make an exception in this. I will give a future for my kids alright? After that, I can go back to being a worthless Drunk. But not before. I can do this one thing. Just this once. I might be a piece of shit, but I am not that shitty. I can do pretty much anything to anyone that isn´t part of my family, to my relatives though...I actually care about them. So yes, I will...focus up for once. God damn it.

She smiled at me with some gratitude ''Thank you...brother.''

''I will also go and fetch some Dragon eggs. I think I´ll grab two or three, we can decide on one for our child later. I want it placed on their crib.''

Rhaenys frowned ''Why ?...place in the crib ? What if they decide they want a different Dragon when they grow? or that they´d like to wait to claim our dragons ?''

''Just trust me Rhaenys...''

I cannot believe that I am genuinely forcing myself to do this...not being a worthless little shit just feels wrong to me. Oh well, guess I am just a big softie...not really. I am a mass murderer. Yikes...this is so...bizarre...

I am a papa now....

DA SEED IS STRONK

Chapter Text

I am having withdrawal symptoms.

I swear to god, life without drinking is so boring...how the hell did I manage to live back then...This shit sucks.

See...humans in general have many objectives in life. And that´s fine. Some choose to pursue a legacy (Aegon, Corlys Velaryon), Others go after lost knowledge (Visenya to some extent), and me? I wanna have fun. Because well...why not? I´ve already managed to get myself killed in my first life, and it wasn´t very nice having to go to school and such...so why not just enjoy myself? Why go for some uber duper cool legacy? Pleasuring myself is what brings me satisfaction and contentment in life. Why should I care for more? Is my philosophy.

So, all I want to do is, fly, drink, have some sex, and occasionally murder people. Perfectly healthy and respectable.

Alas. The circumstances of life have forced me into a horrible situation. Firstly the tyrannical dictates of Aegon and Visenya that forbid me from drinking. I just like being drunk. It´s perfectly fine. The bliss of being knocked out cold is amazing...except for the part where you wake up smelling like shit, with a crushing headache and in general a mess. Thankfully I can bathe myself afterwards. Helps with everything except the headaches.

The other trap is...being a dad. I...for some reason...feel emotional attachments to the little babe(s?)growing up in Rhaenys. It is a horrible thing that puts crushing weight and responsibility on my hedonistic hide. But I can´t avoid it for some reason. NO! I AM NOT GOING SOFT! I would never go soft...I still enjoy murder.

That is why I am getting Dragon eggs to put in his cradle. I am assuming it´s a boy. And it better be a boy, a son seems easier to deal with then a daughter. I mean...dealing with a horny drunk teenager should be easy. I am a horny drunk teenager myself. When it comes to girls...I´d say Rhaenys would be better, but she´s also chronically arrogant and likely will spoil this child into oblivion. Considering I am not from Westeros and I don´t care about Planetosi rules unless I am forced to, I will raise my kids as I see fit. And if I have a girl and some dipshit says I am raising her in a ''SuBvErSiVE ManNeR'' and that I am ''PoIsOnInG HeR'' by not making her a broodmare, they can go fuck themselves right in the arse, I´ll make sure to stick the finger up their bums.

So. Cradle eggs. They aren´t really a thing at this point in history, that´s a later Targaryen tradition. And really...I don´t care if it´s tradition or not. That´s not why I am doing this.

I am going to pick two or three dragon eggs to put on the cradle when my child is born, then let them hatch and fight to the death Dragon Royale style. The surviving Dragon was stronger and thus more deserving of future bonding with my kiddo. Assuming my child even wants that. He might be like Maegor and prefer to wait for his father´s (Or mother´s) Dragon. I am not sure how I´d raise a Maegor. But I would support all his atrocities! Just make sure to give Papa a hug. Yes little one, you can have six wives, I won´t mind. Just don´t be a little bitch like Joffrey...

Naturally, I asked the help of the most experienced person in Dragon lore!

Visenya.

What could go wrong?

Nothing actually. She wants her nephew/niece to get a Dragon. Visenya is a much more tolerable aunt to kids who are not ''usurping'' her son´s birthright. Or kids that are not ''weaklings''.

Still, just using history as an example...I am going to keep my children and grandchildren at a healthy distance from Visenya...Just in case they get the uncrowned and Viserys son of Aenys treatment...Just in case. Though I will admit if Visenya tries that shite...Let´s just say it won´t be pretty.

''I have seen the new clutches our dragons laid'' Visenya said drily, we were in one of the many caves of Dragonstone. Where we stash our big lizards ''6 eggs. Meraxes, Vhagar, and Shrykos all laid two eggs.''

That´s...an incredibly convenient amount...What the hell?

''May I see them ?...''

''You may'' She replied with boredom ''But only four of the eggs can be hatched. The rest are all stone'' Visenya shrugged ''A common occurence. Not every egg is adequate.''

Well...that sucks.

Visenya showed me the Dragon eggs. I picked them up to look at them one by one. One of them was silver! Like Meraxes. So I assume it comes from her...it´s fine. In all honesty, I almost wish I could give my kiddo a golden dragon like Shrykos and just manipulate them into naming the thing Sunfyre. Maintaining the agenda is my top priority at all times...mwaahahahahahahah GOATFYRE! Alas, at best we have a yellow egg I dismissed instantly. I don´t want any kid of mine having a fucking Syrax. When it comes to the dance, the greens had shit for everything, I mean, their supporters are Lannister scum and Illiterate Borros. The Blacks got the muppet Tullys, The Red Kraken and even the lads. Cregan was there too I guess, but I ain´t a Stark simp. But the Greens did get the best Dragons, outside of Caraxes being based Neck Boy and Seasmoke being the best boi, I can´t think of a single black Dragon as cool as Vhagar, Sunfyre, and Tessarion. Even then, I´d be neutral were it not for the fact that Sunfyre is too based and the green banner is cool. So yes, in this house we support the rightful king of the seven Kingdoms, Sunfyre of house based, and his consort Aegon II Targaryen.

The second egg was dark blue. Kinda cool...I guess? Blue is cool. I guess a blue dragon could be fire. Seems pretty cool in my opinion. Uhm...I mean...what am I supposed to say.

Visenya showed me the next two eggs and I immediatelly just...cringed...

''GET THAT OUT OF MY SIGHT !'' I shouted while covering my eyes from the most hideous things I´d ever seen....

A fucking Brown egg and a Ping egg.

I mean a brown that looks like actual poop. Like...poop poop. GET THAT SHIT OUT OF MY FACE ! EWWWW

Dragonflame takes the color of the Dragon. Imagine getting killed by burning poop...That´s a level of cruelty and humiliation that makes even me shudder in fear and terror.

As for a pink Dragon...

No

Just no.

I won´t hear any whining about it.

Visenya seemed disturbed at my outburst ''Are you with your wits? What was that for ?!''

''Do...A PINK DRAGON? AND ANOTHER COLORED FOR SHIT ?!'' I took some deep breaths ''Shit...A shit-colored Dragon...what...''

Visenya seemed angry now ''You fool. The color means nothing. Dragons are not toys''

''You are just jealous mine looks better than yours''

''What ?!'' Visenya shook her head ''That is the most..absurd... preposterous...ridiculous...''

I smirked looking ultra smug ''Admit it, golden is a better color than bronze...Vhagar just can´t compete...and mine is bigger too...''

She slapped me in the face with a bored expression ''Cease your foolishness.''

I laughed, the slap might have hurt, but the ego boost was stronger ''If it makes you feel better, dear sister.''

Visenya sighed ''How can one person be this...UNBEARABLE ?!''

''Thank you for the compliment. It means a lot to me !''

''Just...take these blasted eggs and leave me be...''

That was for my alcohol Visenya. You deserve every inch of mockery I can throw at you. Mayhaps I should have you get dunked on.

Visenya will never be Ballin´

Anyways, Silver and blue...those are fine Dragon colors ! May the victor of the Dragon Royale get the privilege of flying and Genocide !

Just Targaryen things.

Chapter Text

Rhaenys was grounded.

This was totally and completely unacceptable. Worse, she was under close watch to ensure compliance with her captors' orders. Aegon and Visenya had made sure she could not even try and resist this atrocious order of events. Worse, she wasn´t even sure that it was possible to fly Meraxes due to her pregnancy, not wishing to risk her child. And she was also getting a big belly and being so cumbersome! The silks that had been brought from Volantis weren´t fitting anymore! It was awful! She had endured months of this!....the kicks...good gods, the kicks...

Rhaenys felt like a fish in a net. Completely helpless and had. How awful!

Well...It wasn´t all bad. Being pregnant meant she could sit down and have some nice tea with her mother all day while also not doing anything at all every single day. Rhaenys loved having tea, drinking wine, and in general eating all day. It felt wonderful.

She also loved whining to her mother.

Rhaenys was doing just that in fact, sitting down in a very cozy spot, beneath some trees while listening to the melodies of some bard. It was quite good. But she was still going to whine.

''Mother'' Rhaenys said while sipping tea ''It is so unfair Mother...I can´t fly at all, I feel dizzy all the time...I can barely walk...so unfair! Do you have any idea just how humiliating this is for me ?'' Rhaenys huffed with petulance ''I am supposed to be above everyone else as a dragon rider, not on the same level! NOT. FAIR.''

Rhaenys made sure to chew on some cake.

Her mother rolled her eyes ''Daughter. Do you truly think that not flying for some months has...degraded you ?''

''Yes !'' Rhaenys replies while making an exaggerated face of sorrow ''I am being humiliated and degraded'' Rhaenys wiped a faked tear off her eyes ''All my siblings soar the skies while I am stuck here...oh, the horror !''

''Rhaenys, dear, I spent my whole life without mounting a Dragon, do you think less of me for that ?''

Rhaenys was stumped ''Well...you see...uhm....you are my mother...''

Valaena chuckled ''And you will be a mother too.''

Rhaenys was painfully reminded at that when she felt a kick ''OWW....YOU FIEND !'' She raged but the babe was safe from her wroth. How dare he! Rhaenys would teach him a sharp lesson...never. Punishing her children did not seem like an easy task...she didn´t want to hurt, only hug!

When it came to motherhood, she thought herself highly prepared. Her children were going to be Dragonlords, thus they only answered to other Dragonlords. Rhaenys did not want them to be abusive or anything of the sort, however. She wanted them to be kind strong and just. They just needed to understand that it was not everyone else´s fault they were worse and had no dragons. They just needed to be taken care of. As far as Rhaenys was concerned, it was perfectly acceptable to make the most of war, everyone else would anyway, so for Rhaenys the best way forward was for everyone to submit to her and she would make sure everything was perfect!

There were already some particulars that Rhaenys didn´t like. For one...the Ironmen and their...salt wives...that was to vanish. Rhaenys also did not like how husbands could beat their wives to death...but she also knew that was something quite widespread...so she´d have to be clever to get rid of it. There were some other things that Rhaenys did not like, but if there was one thing she would never compromise on it was her own power. She was a Dragonrider and would sit on the seat of some Lordship and speak with authority and damn anyone who didn´t like it. Rhaenys was willing to make many compromises to assuage the fears of her future subjects...but not on this. Never on this.

So, she would allow the maesters to teach her children quite a lot, Rhaenys was unsure of whether she would allow a daughter to learn swordsmanship like Visenya had. What if her little girl got hurt? But Rhaenys was sure if she had a girl, she wouldn´t waste time with such stupid things. Rhaenys never understood why her sister bothered with swords, a Dragon was worth more than one hundred thousand swords, so why bother with that? Seemed a waste. After all, they were going to fight from above, not on the same level as everyone else...On Meraxes, no one could hit her with arrows and scorpions, much less a measly sword.

''Yes...'' Rhaenys replied ''I will be a mother...'' She giggled. Rhaenys just knew that her child would be the best in the world! Especially if the child took after her. She was just too good!

''The first pregnancy is always the hardest...I assure you''

''First ?'' Rhaenys asked with horror. She did not want to spend almost another year without flying again! Babes were good...but DRAGONS!

''You do understand that as a noble lady, you are expected to give Daeron as many children as he desires, correct?''

Rhaenys grumbled ''I want to have children, but I also want to fly! NOT FAIR!''

Valaena rolled her eyes ''Daughter, everything you do not like gets named ''Unfair''. ''

''That´s because everything needs to go my way!'' Rhaenys crossed her arms and pouted ''I am the best, most beautiful woman and everyone should listen to me because I just know better!''

Her mother was laughing. Rhaenys narrowed her eyes

''Don´t laugh at me! It´s not funny...''

''Child...I am surprised I bore you considering how big that head of yours is.''

Rhaenys grumbled ''Even my mother is against me! My elder siblings put me under watch as if I were some...scum, and now my own mother is also mocking her own fragile pregnant daughter! Woe is me!''

Her mother smirked ''mayhaps you should have been a mummer, you certainly have a talent for dramatics. I remember you used to fake tears as a child'' Valaena sighed ''You used that trick to make sure Daeron would not go Oldtown as I wanted to''

''I was..not...faking anything...''

Her mother glared at her...

''Mayhaps a few...but it was for the best...'' Rhaenys looked smug now ''Father never found out they were fake, he loved me too much to think of that. He only ever saw his crying child...''

Her mother kissed her in the cheek''I had thought that you were properly educated, dear daughter. Lying to one´s father is...dishonorable...''

Rhaenys disagreed. Sometimes lying was good! After all, people don´t feel what they can´t see!

''If you say so mother...''

''Rhaenys...listen here...'' Valaena laughed ''You will learn quite quickly that children are...hard to deal with. Especially for us nobles...They are...loud, incessantly resistant to authority, clever in their schemes and overall...a nightmare''

She rolled her eyes ''Please mother, no child of mine could do these things to me...It is likely I will not have as much time with them as I would like but...If I give them what they want, surely they will do as I say''

The only reply from her mother was a smile. A satisfied smile.''Oh, I look forward to your humbling, daughter.''

AS IF!

As If anyone in the world understood parenthood better then Rhaenys

Chapter Text

I am feeling anxious.

Do you all´ know why?

Because Rhaenys is giving birth.

And this is Westeros as written by George R. R Martin. Which means there is a coinflip chance she might just die during childbirth. And uhh I´d rather she not become one of these people from fire and blood that show up and then ''Lady Insert Targaryen name here wedded at insert innapropriate age here died during childbirth''

So I am taking... precautions.

I slam a Maester into the wall

''Listen here you grey rat, you will wash those hands of yours before you even so much as touch my sister. And you will not let her die, otherwise, I will feed you to my dragon''

I will give this grey rat some mild credit, he was not a coward. He faced me eye to eye. ''My lord, leave the procedure in my hand-''

''DO AS I SAY !'' I shout at the man while pressing his throat slightly ''OR I WILL KILL YOU RIGHT HERE AND TAKE THAT BABE FROM BETWEEN HER LEGS MYSELF!''

The maester´s eyes widened and he nodded. Good. There´s now a smaller chance of her getting an infection. That´s good...Of all the shitty ways to die...that one would be shittiest.

''Calm yourself, Daeron'' I hear Aegon´s voice from behind me. ''Let the maester perform his duty''

I let the maester go, and he scurries off. ''Aegon...I apologize...I am just...''

''I understand why you are afraid'' He replied a bit more softly ''But you must not let it get the better of you...''

''I swear...if that rat lets her die...''

''I will make sure he receives sharp punishment'' Visenya said ''Dying from childbirth will not be the fate of our sister. If this maester begins to fail, I will take over the procedure myself and then make sure this man feels pain like none before''

''Thank you, sister...'' I take a deep breath to calm myself ''But I would rather if the maester got my sweet care in case of failure''

She frowned ''Are you sure? I can guarantee he would suffer more under mine. Rhaenys is my blood, She will not die like this''

''You are wrong''

I have a dark twisted mind

I hate maesters on principle. They are all idiots and morons. IF Rhaenys dies under this guy´s watch, I will lock him in a room, rip out his arm, turn it into a pie, and then force-feed it to him. Then I rip out other body parts until this guy dies. I would make sure he knows he´s eating himself too. And he´d have nothing to drink besides his own urine. Oh, and I´d ensure he lives for a very...very long time for him to continue suffering. Then I´d order Visenya to turn his soul into a carpet so I could perpetually step on it.

I doubt my elder sister can think of a worse punishment than that. I doubt a Tsukuyomi from Itachi is worse than that. But if I can make it more miserable, I would make it so. I´d make this guy step on Legos every day and hit his pinky toe on the door. That´s true evil...Oh, I would also hunt down his entire family and end his bloodline, but that´s secondary at this point.

Visenya shrugged and I paced around the hall of Dragonstone, pacing from one side to the other, occasionally kicking the wall to let out some of my aggression. And trust me, I have a lot of Aggression pent up.

''Sit down'' Visenya hissed ''Stop acting like some scared child. Running from one side of the room to the other will change absolutely nothing. Either face your problems or stay calm. But stop this pathetic despairing!''

I growl at her ''Pathetic despairing ?!''

Visenya grits her teeth ''Yes. Pathetic despairing, You are acting like a boy that has been caught red-handed on some mischief. Compose yourself !''

''Oh I´m going to beat you up, you little piece of shi-'

''Enough !'' Aegon shouted ''Calm down!''

I take some deep breaths

''Visenya'' Aegon continued a bit more harshly ''That was unkind of you...I might agree with your point...but that is our brother´s wife and child...his...anxiety is not...unreasonable. I say he cannot stay completely calm...let us...take his mind off all of this. A spar mayhaps ?''

Visenya looked annoyed but nodded ''That is...acceptable.'' She turned to look at me ''Grab your weapons and armor, meet me at the yard.''

I nodded, still sweating with anxiety. ''Yes.''

...

It´s been so long since I last have seen my- I mean since I´ve last worn this Valyrian steel armor. There just haven´t been a lot of incentives for me to do it. After all, I am not in any war or combat or anything of the sort. But I do like it...It looks so cool...And it makes me feel like Iron Man. I am essentially invincible in this thing, Not even Valyrian steel weapons can pierce it in the slightest. Shit doesn´t even make a dent. So I am very confident I can beat Visenya right here without a lot of trouble...I mean, what the hell can she even do with Dark sister? I mean...I don´t have a helmet, so I suppose she can hit me in the face...fair enough I suppose.

I had thought of using that Valyrian steel spear I brought from Volantis or of choosing any of the other weapons I brought from there, but I chose against it. I really should have named that fooking spear by now. But then again, I don´t use at all pretty much. So what´s the point? Spears is pretty OP, to be honest. Probably the most OP of all the medieval weapons except for something like a bow and arrow. The reasoning is simple, hitting your enemy when they can´t hit you is good for obvious reasons. It is not a coincidence that human weaponry evolved to longer and longer ranges...Everyone likes Killin´, no one likes dying. As your resident psychopath, I can confirm, murder is great, but death is not. I am a big fan of inflicting pain on others, not on having it inflicted on me or my loved ones.

Rules for thee, but not for me!

Visenya was wearing chainmail. Dark sister in her hands. She had her hair braided. I guess it makes sense for her to do that. Wouldn´t want it to get in the way while fighting. Aegon keeps his cut short for that same reason, Rhaenys doesn´t care and keeps her long and loose. And, call me some conservative hack or something, I actually like it! I just have my own preferences alright...There´s nothing wrong with that...

''Are you ready, little brother ?'' Visenya asked with confidence

''Don´t call me little'' I reply with annoyance, pulling out Dragonclaw and trying to look cool. I wasn´t the edgy type in life, but I will admit I preferred some darker stories. I´ve always liked the baddies! Perhaps that´s why I´m supah supah bad ! Now that I think about it...Orys, Aegon, Me , Visenya, Rhaenys and now my little kiddo will make six future war criminals. So I can still officially call us the sinister six.

''But you are little...''

I answered with my sword, swiging from the right. Visenya ducked and left me hitting the air.

VEXING

She tried to swing at me, but unfortunately, it got caught in my armor and did absolutely nothing.

Oh, no, how tragic.

I can see it annoyed her too. I couldn´t contain just that little bit of smugness...

Which only made her more annoyed.

Which, of course, made me more smug.

I tried a sword thrust, but she dodged. AGAIN!

STAY STILL SO I CAN HIT YOU!

Visenya then swung her sword right at my face, I had to take a step back and...

Good lord...

She cut my cheek.

I am mad now.

I AM VERY MAD NOW!

I saw her smirk with satisfaction ''Pay attention, little brother, you forgot to make a helmet from all that Valyrian steel you seized...''

I stepped forward and swung a third time, Visenya went to dodge a third time, but I caught her bullshit now. When she tried to duck I grabbed the braid of her hair and pulled her back.

GOTCHA!

I then tried throwing her to the ground, she didn´t fall but she did stumble back, so I swung again, instead of dodging she was forced to block, so I kicked her. To her credit, she still didn´t fall, just stumbling back more. So I went to hit her a third time and our swords clashed. She pushed me off afterward. I saw her pant slightly

''Tired ?''

''No''

Well...that´s a very simple answer. I was expecting something more cliche like ''I´m JuSt GeTtInG sTaRtEd''...Bluntness works I guess. She did deadpan while saying the line.

WHY WON´T YOU JUST GO DOWN!

We stayed fighting for a couple more hours. I wasn´t able to put her down, but she didn´t really get to hurt me at all anymore. Armor OP. Eventually, a servant came to warn me that Rhaenys had, finally, gotten the job done!

...

''My lord husband...'' Rhaenys said with a tired look on her face, lying in bed. Aegon and Visenya were right beside me with satisfied smiles. Orys would have been here too, but he was busy dealing with the slave settlers or something. Some of the women that had helped Rhaenys during the birth brought the kid...s

I got twins !

Boy and girl...

Twice the nightmare. Lovely.

I held the boy first...AWWW HE´S SO CUUUTEEE. ME WANNA HUG. HE SO SMOL.

''I present to you...'' Rhaenys continued ''Your son...Our...Aenys...''

I felt my knees go weak... So weak I almost fell down and Aegon had to hold me.

Aenys?

Fucking...Aenys?

I looked at my son with pity...then I looked at my daughter and got some resolve.

I won´t have a son named Anus, what´s next? Naming the girl Urethra?

''Yes...our...Aerion...Is a beautiful babe...''

Rhaenys frowned ''I said Aen-''

''Aerion''- Visenya cut off while looking pale as snow, completely horrified with the idea of a child being named anus

Thank you for your support.

Aegon looked bothered ''Aenys is a perfectly acceptable nam-''

''Shut up this kid is mine''

Aegon backed off from the sheer hostility and contempt in my voice.

I looked at the baby´s eyes.

You better thank me for this, boy. You could have been named Anus.

I saw that Rhaenys was beginning to prepare herself for an argument, so I quickly switched topics and grabbed my little daughter.

''And this is our...Daenys! For Daeron and Rhaenys !''

That appeased her, and I saw a faint smile in her face.

I really dodged a bullet with that one...

Aww, Aegon and Visenya started playing with my little Aerion...

Then the cunt began screaming and shouting and in turn made my daughter also scream and shout...

I really fucking hate this noise...

But still...

If anyone looks at my kiddos the wrong way...

I WILL FUCKING MURDER THAT PERSON !

Chapter Text

I am awoken from my slumber by a knock on my door.

I lazily open my eyes, I can hear Rhaenys groaning with annoyance and frustration. We both know what is coming next

''Come in !'' I say, sounding half asleep.

A maid hurries in, sounding anxious over bothering a Lord and a Lady. ''L...Lord Daeron, Lady Rhaenys...the...the Bab-''

''We know...'' Rhaenys says ''J...just fetch him...''

The maid scurries off, closing the door.

''Every night...'' I mutter out ''Unbelievable...''

''Don´t I know it?'' Rhaenys replied. She got up from the bed and pulled out a chair. Waiting. Patiently.

Aerion is coming. We can both tell from the screams and cries that grow closer and closer with each second.

''The lungs on that boy...'' Rhaenys says. She looks completely destroyed. Keeping track of time in Westeros isn´t as precise as in the modern world, but I am sure this is like...3 in the morning. It fits that 3 AM is when this fiend comes out to ruin our sleep.

The babe is brought into the room. He continues crying. Rhaenys takes him into her arms. ''Shh...Shh...calm down, my sweet.''

Aerion does not calm down.

''Rhaenys...'' I say, sounding tired ''Just give him what he wants...we know what it is...''

Rhaenys grumbled ''Easy for you to say, Daeron. It hurts you know ?'' She whined. But eventually caved to Aerion´s demands. Rhaenys brought him to her breast and just let him do his thing.

We are three months into parenthood.

Every single night, without exception, Aerion will start crying at the same exact time, the maids will try to appease him, but he will continue his whining until he successfully forces himself into our room to be breastfed by Rhaenys. And only Rhaenys. He only accepts milk coming from his mom, all the people that we have to do that job here in Dragonstone are completely useless as Aerion refuses them completely. He´s not even a one-year-old, and this dude is already a pick eater...I can´t complain, I was one too...fuck fruits and vegetables.

Medieval parenting is easy, most of the time. We have servants to care for our children´s every need and we have maesters to educate them. As parents, we basically only swoop in to have fun and do some occasional guidance as the more laborious parts of it are already taken care of...Aerion is being a little shit by making Rhaenys breastfeed herself. And being an extra prick by doing it at night, and being a fucking DEMON by waking me up too.

Listen, my daughter does not do any of that. She is... well-behaved for a baby. This means she cries and poops and pees at less inconvenient times than AT FUCKING 3 AM YOU LITTLE SHIT...ahem. Papa has a favorite. Just saying. My little darling girl doesn´t bother Dad and Mom and allows the serving folk to take care of her. Just saying Aerion, just saying.

Be more like Daenys...I have a feeling that statement will age like milk for some reason

And the fact that I can´t drink to cope has only made me more fucking mad...DAMN YOU VISENYA! DAMN YOU AEGON! I NEED THE FUCKING BOTTLE!

OH, THEY LOVE TO SHOW UP IN THE MORNING WHEN IT IS SO EASY AND CUDDLY WITH THE BABES, BUT NOW? NOW THAT IT´S HARD? WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY ?!

Visenya in particular has already declared her intentions on her role as Aunt: Establishing what is essentially a military routine for children. Aegon doesn´t care as much, he shows up to look at them for five minutes every once in a while and then leaves. It´s not that he literally doesn´t give a shit about his nephew and niece, it´s more that they´re three months old and not very interesting...I mean, they cry shit and poop. That´s all they do.

The one...real movement in the lives of my children is their Dragon eggs. They are probably going to hatch very soon, I gave my son the blue egg and my daughter the silver one. Because I felt like it was cooler that way. No other reason really. I mean...Rhaenys is the girl´s mom and Meraxes is silver, so I thought it was fitting...and Blue is a cool color so I gave it to my boy.

BUT CONSIDERING HIS BEHAVIOR, I SHOULD GIVE HIM THE ONE THAT WAS COLORED FOR SHIT! BECAUSE HE´S A LITTLE SHITE...

Still love him too much.

But seriously kid...if you keep this up...you are going to murder your parents...

Rhaenys played with his silver locks while he did the succ. Both my children took after Mom, Which isn´t a bad thing. Rhaenys is good-looking, so being similar to her is great actually.

''There...There...'' She said softly. Rhaenys looked as if she was about to collapse into sleep at any moment.

''We shouldn´t let him have his way you know...'' I whine...

Rhaenys frowns ''What do you mean ?...''

''I mean that Aerion is being spoiled. He should be nursed by the servants, like Daenys''

''You know as well as I do that our son rejects them...''

''Because that little fiend knows he can get his way if he cries and screams enough! We ought to let him cry a bit until he understands that he can´t just...RUIN OUR SLEEP !''

I swear to god that this child understood every word I was saying. I swear to god he did, I can see it in his little baby eyes that he understands everything that Is happening. He might be enjoying his milk, but I just know he is listening...

Or I might be getting paranoid from the lack of sleep...I swear that the voices in my head have grown louder. And I swear they told me something about hunting down mad scientists...Jesus Christ, I need some sleep Aerion, what are you doing to me?

''You are being too harsh with him...'' Rhaenys replied ''He is just a Babe...''

''A babe that is ruining my rest!''

''Trust me, husband...Once he grows a little..I will handle him...he can´t say no to his loving mother...''

Delusional idiot. That´s not how children work. You give them an inch they take a mile. I am fine with spoiling my kids, but not when they start to pull this type of shit on me...

I need to kill something. Or to drink. Either works. unfortunately, I can´t drink. And there are no wars taking place.

Sundowner was right. War is based (If you are winning and not getting hit of course)

''Rhaenys...that´s not...that´s not how it works...''

''I say it is...''

Sure girl. By all means. I swear to god that the day she gets humbled will be the most hilarious day in my life.

Rhaenys sighed ''Listen here brother, I am just as annoyed as you are...but our Aerion wants this, can you tell him no ?'' She stroked his little hair ''Just look at him !''

''Yes'' I reply ''Easily.''

''*DRAMATIC GASP*''

I grumble ''Rhaenys...I won´t mind giving our children what they want. At all. I can help them with it...The problem is only when it begins to harm us!''

The babe began to cry again

''You scared him!'' Rhaenys said with anger ''Now We´ll have to spend HOURS TO CALM HIM DOWN !''

Can these kids grow up fast so I can spoil them and have fun and play with them? Or could Aerion just stop being a little shite

...

The very next morning an envoy from Storm King Argillac Durrandon arrived on Dragonstone with a very familiar offer.

His daughter Argella as a bride for Aegon. Apparently he’s doing it like he does in canon. Not exactly his brightest move, Aegon didn’t even go the polygamy route this time. A maester or something must have told him about that. Valyrians do polygamy on occasion and Argillac is trying to be cheeky

Rhaenys, Visenya, Orys, and I were all summoned to the chamber of the painted table...

well well well...

Sundowner was right.

Westeros was just getting a bit too peaceful

Chapter Text

Aww Aegon looks almost cute when he is excited about something even if that something is mass murder.

All my siblings are with me here at the chamber of the painted table. Aegon put a bunch of thrones here so we can all sit and discuss and bla bla bla. I am more interested in playing Westerosi geoquizz! Starting from west to east we have Lonely Light and the other Iron Islands, a little bit further south we get Fair Isle and the Westerlands, even further south we get the Shields and the Reach, go East and we get the Stormla-

''Pay attention Daeron'' Visenya said with annoyance from her seat.

I roll my eyes and sigh with annoyance ''Apologies...Go on Aegon''

Aegon clears his throat and grins like a freaking toddler who just got a Christmas present or something. ''I have received an envoy from the Storm king Argilac''

''He would offer us an alliance!'' Aegon continues sounding super proud of himself ''It seems the Westerosi have finally realized that they cannot hope to match our Dragons!''

''Terms.'' Visenya asks. ''There are always terms. What does he want''

''For me to take his daughter as a second Wif-''

''NO.'' Visenya replies immediately and with force ''You will not do that. Do you hear me Aegon? YOU.WILL.NOT. Do not DARE to test me !''

''Vis...Visenya calm down!'' Aegon raised his hands in a sign of surrender ''Calm down! Just let me finish!''

''Then finish'' Visenya says with narrowed eyes and gritted teeth.

''I...have no intention of marrying his daughter. Nor of accepting his other terms of some lands by the Blackwater that he does not even own! Argillac would have us be his dog against Black Harren. No, I was thinking of a different sort of deal, we would get the northmost parts of the Stormlands and Blackwater Bay as dowry lands...and we would give his daughter a different groom. I already have one wife, I do not have need of a second...'' Aegon said that last part with a sheepish smile, looking at a very annoyed Visenya. ''From there we would push into the Riverlands and free them from Black Harren''

I must admit.

I am a hypocrite myself.

But hearing Aegon say that he doesn´t need a second wife, knowing his Canon life is...quite...amusing to say the least.

Speaking of said, the second wife. Rhaenys, who hadn´t even been trying to hide her boredom thus far, squeezed my hand and spoke sounding far more possessive than I would be comfortable with ''Daeron does not either.'' She turned to look at me and squeezed my hand again.I even felt her step on my foot ''Right ?''

First of all...Ouch

I would just like to say that this is a complete overreaction from our sisters. Aegon hadn´t even finished his sentence when Visenya began threatening him, and I didn´t even say a word before Rhaenys started assaulting me.

Them Sister-Wives acting aggressive.

As for the matter of polygamy...I don´t have a problem with it as a concept and if you had asked me a couple of years back I´d probably just accept Argella but honestly? Nah...I already have a hot wife and two kids from her. I feel pretty satisfied...and really? You will never hear me admit this again. But I do like Rhaenys alright.

But I feel a tremendous urge to make her feel jealous, so I will pretend to be undecided. That´s what Rhaenys gets for assaulting me. The horror!

''Well...'' I say with a smug smirk

She steps harder on my feet. Her face was one of fury. I let the silence linger for a bit. Just to annoy her a bit more. She

''I don´t need a second one...'' I finish ''I already have who I need!'' I then kiss her on the cheek and that seems to appease her. But she still keeps a very possessive hand on my shoulder.

I hate romantic cliche lines. But I am willing to abuse them to calm down Rhaenys. It´s surprisingly effective.

''That doesn´t matter'' Aegon said ''Because it was not you who I had thought to offer. Though curiously Argillac´s envoy made it seem as if the King would accept you instead of me. No, I had thought of giving Orys to them''

Orys, who thus far had done an amazing job at disguising his drinking, blinked in confusion ''A...Princess...to me ?''

''Yes,'' Aegon replied flatly ''I had promised you a Fief of your own had I not? I keep true to my word, Always''

Orys is having a very...very hard time processing this. ''T...Thank you, brother...''

''It is nothing less then you deserve. You are worth more then ten thousand lords.''

Aww, this is being so wholesome!

Of course, Visenya had to ruin it.

''Orys might be our brother'' Visenya said cautiously ''But to the Westerosi he is still a bastard. Aye, an accomplished one with his deeds in Volantis, but a Bastard nonetheless. Argillac will never accept what you propose. We should not bother with any of this. We should just invade. Now.''

''Durrandon would have to be a tremendous fool to deny me'' Aegon replied, looking a bit angry now ''Mayhaps Orys is a bastard. But he is a strong leal man and besides, he is the brother to four Dragonriders, what does his bastardy matter to that?!'

''Everything'' Visenya replied ''This Storm king will never accept, I repeat.''

Orys bristled ''I am as good a man as any. Bring me any foe and I will put him in the ground with my fists.''

''You know that is not what I meant. I know your worth. But I will not lie. You are still a bastard.''

Orys grit his teeth.

''Well Aegon!'' I say sounding super cheerfull ''I think it is a wonderful idea!''

''See!'' Aegon said, looking so satisfied with himself I almost wanted to laugh at his puffed-out chest

''Yes brother, the best Idea that has ever been conceived of !''

I love stroking Aegon´s ego. I also like making Orys feel better.

Visenya grumbled in frustration ''I am surrounded by fools.''

No, Visenya. I know that this is gonna go bad. But that is the point! You see...if I warn Aegon that this offer is horribly insulting, and that giving a bastard to an heiress and princess while also demanding territories is downright aggressive instead of friendly, he might realize that and make a better deal and delay the conquest by like a month or so. I wanna start murdering now. It is the easiest way to escape Aerion´s constant crying...

It also brings me something very fun. I know that the person who gets sent as an envoy is going to lose his hands...so

''Oh, Aegon, I also think it would be a great Idea if you would let me choose the envoy...''

Aegon shrugged, indifferent ''If you wish.''

I am going to pick someone I dislike for this job. And then see if it is possible to send our maester with him. Because fuck Maesters. The only thing I really need them for is to operate the rookery. But our Maester has a ''disciple'' (Dunno the term) here in Dragonstone who can operate the Raven network...

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH FUCK MAESTERS, FUCK KNOWLEDGE, EMBRACE THE UNGA BUNGA

Chapter Text

I´m mad.

Somehow...

SOMEHOW...

The Maester survived.

I specifically sent him alongside our envoy to get himself killed, but the bastard managed to weasel his way out of death it seems.

We are back at the painted table and bla bla bla I am pissed. I have my arms crossed and I glare at the maester as he hands over a box to Aegon, who looks giddy, with a big ass smile on his face. Rhaenys is paying so much attention that she´s playing with her hair out of boredom. Visenya seems tense and Orys is as giddy as Aegon.

The envoy hasn´t returned so I assume he got his hands chopped off like in Canon...How did this guy live? YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD! WHY WON´T YOU JUST DIE!

There has got to be an explanation...how...HOW?! WHAT COULD THIS GUY POSSIBLY HAVE SAID FOR ARGILLAC TO NOT HAVE KILLED HIM?! HOW?! ARGILLAC IS KNOWN AS THE ARROGANT FOR A REASON!

Aegon put the box down on the table. He likes to sit by the edge so right on Dorne. Which I find somewhat funny.

''This is a great day!'' Aegon said ''Now we can commemorate our first venture into Westeros! Orys will rule the Stormlands after Old Durrandon dies...''

''I never imagined myself wedding a princess...''

I can see that the maester is doing a very good job at suppressing a laugh. Unfortunately for him, I live around Rhaenys, who loves to fake emotions to get her way. So at this point, I´d consider myself pretty adept at seeing through that shite.

Aegon patted Orys on the back ''You deserve no less...and now...''

He opened the box.

From where I was. I couldn´t see what was inside. But considering canon knowledge and Aegon´s visceral reaction well...

''THAT PIG!'' He shouted, red with wroth. I thought I was angry...but holy shit...to say Aegon was angry would be inaccurate, to say he was furious would be an understatement and to say he was wrothful would be...putting it too mildly. Aegon was nothing short of fucking livid ''BARBARIAN! SON OF SOME...SOME...'' He was so mad he couldn´t really form sentences anymore

He took some breaths to try and calm himself. Rhaenys was sweating ''What is happening?'' She whispered to me

''Aegon is throwing a tantrum'' I replied low enough that he wouldn´t hear me.

And throw a tantrum he did. I have never seen this level of anger, holy shit. Orys looks mad but he can´t even begin to match Aegon right now.

Naturally, Visenya decided to poke the bear.

''I had told you Aegon, Orys is a basta-''

''SILENCE!'' He pointed his finger at her ''NOT ONE MORE WORD! I WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU SCOLD ME AS IF I WERE SOME INFANT!'' Aegon slammed his fist at the painted table, shaking the whole thing.

''Br...Brother...'' Rhaenys asked with shyness, stopping Visenya from making a reply, which was certainly coming from the way she was looking''Wh...what is the message ?''

Aegon turned the box around so Rhaenys and I could see it and...yeah...the severed hands of the envoy we sent...Rhaenys almost puked with disgust. Weak stomach. I´ve seen and done worse at this point.

''These are the only hands you shall have from me'' Aegon said ''Those are the words he sends to me....the only hands....'' Aegon grits his teeth ''I offer him my brother...and this...this petty...little...DARES TO SPIT ON MY FACE!''

God damn, Aegon is having an epic gamer moment. What, did he die to one too many noob tubes back in the Mw2 days? Sheesh...

That Maester looks as if he is noting everything we are saying. What, does he plan on writing a book or something?... Ohhh I WANT HIM DEAD! HANGED!

Orys has a different type of anger when compared to Aegon´s. I´d call it the bittersteel anger. Orys does not let go of grudges. Ever.''He will have my hands around his throat'' He says darkly, his eyes narrowed and his tone low.

''YOU!'' Aegon now looked at the maester ''I want full account, now !''

The maester cleared his throat ''As you command my lord. It took me and the envoy only two sennights to reach Storm´s end...there we gave King Argillac your proposal. We made sure to emphasize the Groom´s achievements in Volantis...we made sure to remind him of the Dragons...yet the King would not budge. He saw the offer as a grievous insult and thought it necessary to...take hands...in order to preserve his honor. I would have also lost mine if the Storm King´s own maester had not counseled him otherwise...I also had to...flatter the king for lack of a better term. I hope My lord will not begrudge me for that''

Son of a bitch...fooking maesters are working together...rats covering the tracks of other rats...I want them all dead.

''I will not'' Aegon said. Calming himself.

''Will you listen to me now ?'' Visenya asked harshly ''Or will you continue acting like a child?''

''Do not insult me!...'' Aegon sighed ''Go on...sister...speak''

''We go to war''

Aegon scoffed ''That part was obvious''

''Then why have you not given the commands? Call the banners. NOW.''

Aegon stays quiet for a moment. He put his hand over Westeros in the painted table'' I shall...''

He pointed at the Riverlands ''Daeron.''

''Me ?''

''Yes. You'' He continued with no time for my bullshit ''We will land here'' He pointed at what would be King´s Landing ''From there we will split up into four fronts. One for each Dragon. I want you to take the Riverlands.''

''I told you about Caster-''

''You will get your castle'' Aegon said cutting me off ''But you will invade the Riverlands first.''

''Rhaenys'' Aegon continued ''You will go and kill this Durrandon alongside Orys. Visenya, you are to take Crackclaw Point and the eyrie...I will deal with the Reach myself. They have the biggest army. Balerion may be needed. We will make a banner for our house. From this day forth our words are fire and blood because that is what we will wreak upon those who defy us''

Rhaenys looked excited ''Oh can I make it! The banner I mean!'' I remember this girl hated the idea of a banner as a child, but now that she gets to make one she´s all excited.

Fashion designer Rhaenys is...actually pretty in character

''As you wish'' he replied''Maester. I want you to send some more ravens, not just to my vassals. I want ravens sent to Lords of Westeros, high and low. Do we have enough in our rookery?''

The maester nodded

''Then write this...''

''From this day forward there is only one King in Westeros. Those who submit to Aegon of House Targaryen will keep their lands and titles. Those who take up arms against me will be thrown down, humbled, and Destroyed. That is all. Let the ravens flap their wings and tell to every King and every Lord that their time has come, and mine has begun''

...

It took only a couple of days for our Vassals to get to Dragonstone. We have an actually pretty good fleet now. Uncle Daemon used some of his gold from Volantis to build better ships. However, we still lack manpower. We have around 3k men. But that doesn´t matter because...Dragons.

Oh well.

I just had one last thing to do before we sail to Westeros.

Talk to mom.

Aegon did a weird thing where he went to a sept to pray for...reasons? Optics I guess? I dunno. He doesn´t give a shit about any gods. Be they the Valyrian ones or the seven or the old gods...Aegon just doesn´t care.

Ironic. My own mother is at a sept. Praying for us.

''Mother...''

''Son.''

''I...wanted to ask you a favor before I left...''

Valaena nodded

''Uhm...could you...take care of my children while I am gone ?...I...do not trust the servants very much, truth be told...''

Valaena rolled her eyes ''I am their grandmother. Of course, I will.''

''Thank you!'' I reply...''Very much...Just be warned that Aerion is quite...the fiend...''

''You were worse'' My mother assured me ''Visenya was a troublesome babe, Aegon was well behaved and Rhaenys was only needy. You...By the seven...You were...It is best to forget about it. Do not worry, child...''

I kiss Mom in the cheek. She stared at me for a bit...''It is...so strange, to see my children ride off to conquer a continent...I cannot help but feel fear, know that your mother will always be praying for you. Know that I am proud of you, child''

Awww, maternal affection makes me melt.

But really, only a mother or a sibling can love me. Or my own children I suppose. Because uhhh I am a very...very bad guy. Not that I care in the slightest about it. I know what I am.

To Westeros, we go !

Since I am going to fight Black Harren, I just have to say the line...I can´t resist

THE HOARE IS PREGNANT!

Chapter Text

Aegon´s Landing!

Such a monumental happening in Westerosi history! So much so that the literal capital of the Kingdom is called ''King´s Landing'' because that´s where the king arrived. In two years Aegon would exterminate Houses Hoare and Gardner, as well as the male line of House Durrandon, and then he would quite literally become the calendar when got crowned by the High septon...

So why does this feel so underwhelming man?

Rhaenys and I are on one of the bigger warships, Aegon, Visenya, and Orys are on another to our left. I´m looking ultra cool, putting my feet on the prow and crossing my arms to make an ultra-dramatic pose.

It´s so...foggy and I can´t really see where we´re going, oh well, Uncle Daemon is the one leading the fleet and he does know where to go. I am actually not too bad a sailor believe it or not. I did foster in Driftmark for a bit and in Claw Isle, Lord Celtigar taught me a bit more and I learned a trick or two on the way to Volantis. If I had to guess how my dearest Uncle knows I´d say he´s just using the wind. Oh well, props to him. I do somewhat enjoy the sea, it has its charm.

Rhaenys on the other hand did not.

She got seasick. hehehe.

''Feeling well ?'' I ask teasingly as Rhaenys pukes out of the ship.

She glared at me ''This isn´t funny !''

''For you maybe''

''You should not laugh at the horrible suffering faced by your lady wife'' Rhaenys whined ''You´re supposed to be concerned for her and-''

''Do her every whim, spoil her'' I roll my eyes ''You´re predictable Rhaenys.''

''No I´m not!'' She whined''...Perhaps a bit'' Rhaenys giggled before coming close to me in the prow ''What are you looking for ?''

''I don´t know. That´s the problem'' I curse ''Damn the fog!''

''Then you should look at me...'' Rhaenys said smugly while putting her hands on her hips

....

That...

It is a pretty good idea.

''Sure...''

Rhaenys then looked at her feet a bit ''C...can I ask you a question, husband ?''

I nod

''Well...uhm...I was never taught much about war, Father never had anyone teach me and I never asked for it like Senya, I always preferred, singing, dancing, and then flying ...Aegon and Visenya make it sound so complicated, but for me, it all just seems like...every problem can be solved...By flying up on Meraxes and burning things. Do I need to know more than that ?''

Rhaenys.

I love you

''No. That´s all there´s to it. Fly high and set things ablaze. In truth, just avoid getting shot by arrows and kill, trust me, it´s fun. Mayhaps Orys will have you serve as a scout and such, but you can do that easily enough.'' I kiss her on the cheek ''Your only concern should be to protect yourself in the air. There is no chance that the Durrandons have what it takes to take down Meraxes, but a stray arrow can kill you''

Rhaenys looked relieved ''I was right...as always...''

''Don´t ignore what I said by the end''

''I am not wearing armor,'' She whined ''It feels uncomfortable!''

''An arrow feels worse. Aegon wears some steel-scaled armor that he had those slaves we brought to make, and Visenya wears chainmail'' I point at my chest ''I wear Valyrian steel. You have no excuse Rhaenys !''

''I don´t want to!'' She whined again

''Yes, you will!''

''B..bu-''

''There are no Buts !''

Rhaenys sighed and put a hand on her forehead trying to look dramatic ''Oh the poor Rhaenys, being trapped and hurt by her brother! Can you not see that I just will never get hit? I am too skilled and too fast on Meraxes to be felled by some...lesser...''

I put my hands on her shoulder ''Could you please control your pride for even one moment? I am not asking you to do much, just put a shirt of chainmail before flying, that is all !''

Rhaenys sighed ''I will do it...if only to calm you.''

''Thank you !''

She looked annoyed. Understandable, kinda, Rhaenys just hates being forced to do things. Even if they are objectively the correct move. I don´t like seeing her so down...

''So...you made a banner for our house ?''

''OH!'' Rhaenys looked excited now ''I did ! I think it is just...glorious !''

''Let me guess...four-headed Dragon, Red Dragon on a Black field ?''

Rhaenys looked smug ''Close. Did you think I would do the exact same thing you suggested as a child back in Oldtown ?'' She scoffed ''Aegon wants a castle made of that queer Black stone, and Balerion is black...so...I thought it would be better if we made a Black Dragon! Does that make sense to you ? I made the field red because I always thought Red and Black went well together...''

Whu...

Did

Did Rhaenys just make the Blackfyre banner like...200 years early...by complete accident ?...

Well...I always thought it looked cool anyway...THE KING WHO BORE THE SWORD!

I wonder...will my own sword have that same level of symbolic importance ?... Probably...I mean...Why wouldn´t it? Dark Sister isn´t the same thing and didn´t have the same effect because It belonged to Visenya who was a consort instead of regent and also didn´t have a dick and this is Westeros, but in any territory I claim lordship over, I´m the guy...so yeah...it´d be like a miniBlackfyre for my line...

Just remember that Aerion, your constant attacks on my well-being might have motivated me to name my daughter heir, grant her my sword(Cope and Seethe Westerosi, I don´t care about your social norms), and then cause a localized early Dance!

''I...like it...It´s nice!... Shouldn´t we have one just for the two of us?''

Rhaenys frowned ''Why ?''

''Well...after we claim our lands, we form a branch of House Targaryen. It´s fair for us to have our own banner...I was thinking...a two-headed Dragon one head is silver for Meraxes and the other is gold for Shrykos...I am not sure about the rest...''

''I can work on the rest...I like the idea of having my own colors !''

''DAERON!'' I hear Aegon shout from far away

''AEGON !''

''Prepare to land! The coast is ahead''

It certainly was a coast. Not exactly the best-looking one. It´s a bit rocky and...that´s it. There´s nothing here besides the three Grassy hills that I can see from far away that would become the hills of Aegon, Rhaenys, and Visenya in Canon.

I am the first one off the ship. Making sure to yoink a shield and land on top of it for a sick Odysseus reference. Afterwards, I promptly dug my feet in the sand and jumped a bit more. I just like stretching them
legs alright.

I looked up at the sky...damn...

I have a mission

Expand the war crime resume!

Yeah yeah I love fire...I will spread my sweet lovely flames over as much of Westeros as I can...But I can do so much better! How about throwing prisoners in boiling pots and such....crucifications, stabbings, psychological torture...

I am going to try and explore

Life´s an Open world RPG after all...and there are plenty of options

Chapter Text

Astride Meraxes, Rhaenys saw castle Rosby. It was quite small when compared to Dragonstone. It was also far less interesting, there was nothing about Dragons in Rosby! That made it worse by default. At least that´s her opinion. Which means it´s correct. Because it was HER opinion. Nobody can try and mess with Rhaenys Targaryen. She was just the best!

After landing in Westeros, her elder brother Aegon quickly seized three hills, mounting his camp on the tallest of them and naming it after himself. He had also named the other two hills. And thus there was now the High Hill of Aegon, the Hill of Visenya, and Daeron´s hill. Rhaenys liked it...but also felt a bit scorned. There should have been a fourth hill there that could take her name. Why was she the only one without a Hill? it was completely UNFAIR, and an affront to her honor and dignity. She wiped off a fake tear from her eyes. Oh, the Horror!

Afterward, Aegon had commanded Rhaenys to secure Rosby, while Visenya captured Stokeworth, and Daeron was to face an army made up of the troops from Duskendale and Maidenpool that had been hurriedly assembled to fight off her family. Rhaenys laughed at that arrogance. House Targaryen had set foot in the mainland of Westeros and had no intentions of leaving anytime soon. From what she had heard, these fools were coming at her husband with a mere three thousand men. A sharp lesson from Dragonflame would humble them. Rhaenys understood that some were too proud and in need of some humbling. But after they submitted, they would generously be brought unto the rule of House Targaryen, unto her rule! They should all be grateful for that! After all, who would want to be ruled by any old crone when Rhaenys was right there? The best Dragonrider since the fall of Valyria, the gentlest most understanding Lady...well Princess now, Rhaenys would absolutely claim the title of Princess...of all time, easily the most beautiful woman in the world with Visenya being the only one to even come close, and the mother to the two most adorable babes! Aerion and Daenys! Rhaenys loved them SO SO much...Even if her sweet little boy could be a hassle at times, Rhaenys would give him what he wanted. She was somewhat shocked at just how much she loved those little flesh bags. But that was only more evidence that Rhaenys was a great mother! She could not wait for them to grow, Rhaenys would want to ride Meraxes alongside them, and to listen to bards with them...

Speaking of Bards, that was one thing Rhaenys was excited about. She had hired some in Dragonstone when Daeron had returned from Volantis to spread the word of him all around. Some songs were composed and Rhaenys had personally made sure that the stupid title that he had claimed with that eyepatch was not present in even a single one of them. Rhaenys had also burned that damnable thing and secretly sent word to all the Merchants in Dragonstone to pretend to not have any in their stocks, using sweet words and Gold, when necessary, to persuade them. Meaning that the eyepatch was finally gone! The title would follow soon. Rhaenys knew how to make things go away...you just...take the attention elsewhere. So Rhaenys had made sure he just had other things to be called by that referred to other more important things that he had done.

Goodbye something eye, all hail Daeron the liberator for his freeing of the slaves, who were all extremely grateful in her songs and willingly moved to Dragonstone alongside all the women and children that were being horrifically oppressed by the Volantene old blood. The ones her husband had killed were simply omitted. All people needed to know were about the ones he´d freed. One or two songs mentioned the Slaves that Daeron had killed, but there Rhaenys had made sure that the Bards explained how it was the fault of the Old Blood who used Women and children as shields. The Lyseni who hated Volantis and loved her Husband were not likely to deny or confirm it, and the Volantenes were also not likely to deny it. Because they were dead. So the only person who was telling how things happened to the Westerosi was Rhaenys, and that was enough. The smallfolk would not care as long as the songs were entertaining.

the glorious, and so...so many more. Rhaenys had not told him about it however, she thought it would be entertaining for him to be caught by surprise when people started calling him names...*sigh* but it would take so long for her to see him again! After taking Rosby she would return to the camp, as would Daeron and Visenya, there they would have a Crowning for Aegon and then they´d all split up. She could spend as long as a whole year without seeing her brother. So unfair.

Before going on his march, Daeron had told her he intended to ''Become the greatest War criminal to have ever set foot on Westeros'' Rhaenys did not know what a War criminal was. But she knew she was a better one than Daeron because she was Rhaenys.

Oh well, she had to take Rosby now. Rhaenys hoped they wouldn´t resist. Rhaenys did not like the idea of being resisted. It made her quite...angry. Some fighting was expected, Rhaenys would not harbor a grudge over it, but any resistance that exceeded a certain threshold of a year or so...Just the Idea put a bad taste in her mouth. Rhaenys would certainly use some more...extreme methods if it came to that.

She saw that there were some soldiers on the curtain walls of the castle, most armed with crossbows and arrows, she saw only one scorpion. They were all aiming at her...

Rhaenys smiled

this was going to be so much fun!

Only one or two had the bravery to shoot at her. But Rhaenys dodged without issue and landed Meraxes right in the castle´s courtyard, she had made sure to wave to the ones that had shot at her with a happy smile as she went down, at least they were paying attention, that was something.

The peasentry and serving folk of the castle were frozen in terror at the sight of Meraxes, the soldiers from before had lost the last of their courage upon seeing her silver Dragon from up close. Rhaenys made sure to pet Meraxes a little. Her sweet girl deserved it for being so useful!

''What is the meaning of this ?!'' Shouted an Old man, who rushed from the inside of the castle, from his clothes, Rhaenys could see that this was Lord Rosby.

''Calm yourself, Lord Rosby'' Rhaenys replied ''I am the Lady Rhaenys of the house Targaryen'' Aegon had sent his message to all of Westeros, but he had not crowned himself yet. So she couldn´t call herself a Princess yet. Vexing. ''I come in the name of my brother Aegon. Yield your castle to him, swear fealty to him, and your holdings will remain untouched''

Rosby looked furious ''I will not be threatened by a woman, in my own castle! War is a man´s trade, tell this brother of yours to come here and face me instead of hiding behind his sister´s skirts''

Meraxes growled and suddenly, Rosby had a much different look on his face. Far less combative. Rhaenys appreciated it, she hated getting belittled and really...this Rosby would be so utterly crushed by Balerion if her brother had come that Rhaenys felt pity for him.

''As I was saying, Lord Rosby'' Rhaenys continued''Submssion to my brother is your best choice...he will usher in a new age of peace and prosperity. King Argillac is a fool who has done nothing to earn your allegiance...''

Rosby looked straight at Meraxes´maw, the sharp teeth were...quite convincing. He had all his garrison yield their swords and bend the knee. Rhaenys felt a bit sad, they all looked so down!. They should be happy to be under her family´s control and rule, it should be a glorious moment for them!. She softened her tone ''There is no shame in surrender my lord, you have chosen wisely for the safety of your house and people...''

Rosby did not respond, though Rhaenys felt some annoyance. She heard them whisper of her as a ''Brother fucker''. So what? IT IS PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE AND FINE! Rhaenys did not like being spoken of as if she were...strange or bad. Targaryens wed their siblings, it was just how things were.

Either way, Rosby had fallen without bloodshed !

Rhaenys was HER! Completely invincible in every way! And woe to her foes!

Chapter Text

At a distance, Visenya saw the banner of Stokeworth, a Lamb holding a goblet. Visenya thought it ridiculous. Who would fear a lamb of all things? The other Andals and first men at least had the sense of putting something fearsome, be it a Kraken, a Wolf, or a Falcon, but a Lamb was just pathetic. To be fair, everything was pathetic when compared to a Dragon.

Bronze Vhagar flew high and fast. Visenya wore chainmail and had Dark Sister on her hip. It was always good to be prepared to fight from up close, even if it rarely happened.

Visenya had a straightforward policy when it came to all her enemies: Kill them.

Dead men cause no problems.

So, if the Stokeworths surrendered they would have the privilege of living another day. If they resisted, they died. Simple as that. Visenya believed that simple problems had simple solutions. Dragons were hammers, problems were nails. Hit them with it. And if it didn´t work the first time, hit it harder.

Her brother wanted some level of appeasement. Aegon thought many of the Andal customs were...interesting. Visenya thought they were all stupid. Her opinion was the following: Do as we say, or die. You will be rewarded for good service with titles and honors.

It is a simple motto.

When it came to the faith, Visenya thought them ridiculous and would not dispense of any old traditions such as wedding brother to sister, or perhaps even Polygamy if a child of hers wanted it. Visenya was Valyrian and not ashamed of it. The faith would get lipservice from her and it ought to content itself with that. What could some measly peasants with pitchforks and pikes do against the might of Dragons? Balerion could kill thousands and so could her Vhagar. And Visenya did not lack the willingness to use hers.

Arrows, scorpions, and crossbows were aimed at Vhagar by the curtain walls. Visenya narrowed her eyes and gripped the reins tightly

They shot

It did nothing, all their fire either missing or being completely ineffective against the thick scales of Vhagar. The Westerosi did not truly know the power of Dragons. They had foolish legends and tales about some knight killing a Dragon, even after her younger Brother had destroyed the Old Blood, they had not learned. But they would now. Spears, axes, crossbows, arrows, walls, and scorpions, there was not a single thing that could stop a Dragon. And there was not a single thing that could save them from the fire.

Vhagar burned all the soldiers on the walls at once, the bronze flames engulfing them until only ash and bone were left. A couple survived the initial burning, their armor melted into the skin and their faces became horribly disfigured, awful and ugly to behold. Screams of fear and shrieks of pain coming from their mouths. One or two had entire limbs melted down. Visenya made sure to burn the scorpions as well, she did not like getting shot.

Vhagar flew higher, casting down a shadow over the keep. Smallfolk looked on in horror. Vhagar was the smallest Dragon in her family (Though no less fierce) but she was still far from anything these Andal dogs had ever seen before. The wing span from Vhagar was enough to cover half the keep with the shadow, Visenya made sure to take a whole turn around the castle, before setting the rafters and roofs of Stokeworth on fire.

It spread quickly, the crackling of the flames was a satisfying sound to her. The roof began to collapse and fall down to what seemed to be a throne room, killing dozens by crushing them. They were ants, that needed to be stepped upon. They were nothing more than dirty Andals. Though Visenya did not see them as inferiors at the same rate that she saw the Rhoynar scum. Visenya hated Dorne and all the Rhoynar, and would gladly kill every dornish man woman, and child if they decided to resist. And Visenya wanted them to do just that. Nymeria had managed to escape Valyria, her children would not escape again.

The flames went up into the sky in the form of smoke. Visenya felt the smell in the air and felt good about herself. The smallfolk looked properly terrified and cowed. Men, women, and children filled the streets, and some of them attempted to pick some buckets of water to put out Vhagar´s fires. Visenya chuckled. She would appreciate the courage, if not the wisdom, in trying to put out Dragonfire. They died from breathing the smoke or getting too close for the most part.

Visenya made sure to burn the flag of house Stokeworth too, she wanted to send a message!

She was eager to continue the slaughter. But she saw someone raise a flag of surrender. That was good. The scum had learned their place. She landed Vhagar right outside the gates of Stokeworth, unwilling to land in the castle itself where she could be surrounded. Visenya was not afraid to take risks, but she did not like recklessness either. She believed in being bold, not suicidal.

It took around half an hour for the gates to open and a weeping boy , who looked no older then four and ten, to come out accompanied by an older woman. They shared a black eye color and hair, as well as the same nose, from that she took it was the boy´s mother. The child wore the colors of House Stokeworth. That left her confused, was the lord a craven? Had he sent his wife and child to speak instead of coming himself?

''I am Visenya Targaryen'' She said, sounding intimidating ''Your keep has been burned for daring to fire upon me. Had you not done as such you would have been spared the flames. However, I will finish the task if you do not submit. Pledge fealty and allegiance to my brother, the Lord Aegon, and your transgressions shall be forgiven. Your lands and titles confirmed and you will be welcomed unto his protection.''

The boy cried some more ''Y...You killed my father! He was crushed by the rafters...wh...why did you do that ?''

Visenya had no time for weaklings ''Do as I say, boy. Lest you wish to reunite with him''

The boy took some shallow breaths before speaking ''I...I...L..Lo...Lord...Alyn S...Stokeworth...yield...m...my castle to you...''

''Good'' Visenya replied ''Surrender your swords as well. Raise your banners. My brother has made camp by the mouth of Blackwater bay. There are three hills, his camp is on the highest of them all. If need be we can send men to give you directions. You are to pledge your troops to Lord Aegon and have them fight by his side, that and attend his coronation.''

Stokeworth nodded nervously.

Visenya was satisfied. An easy victory always pleased her.

Chapter Text

''Away down south in the land of traitors, Rattlesnakes, and Alligators Right away!''

''Right away! Right away! Come away! Come away!''

''Where salt´s king and men are chattel, Targaryen boys will win the battles, right away, come away, We´ll all go down to Harrenhal! Away! Away! Each Ironman must understand that he must mind his Uncle Daeron! Away, Away, Away, Away, We´ll all go down to Harrenhal!''

I love march songs! It is a good solace from the usual boredom of marching. I could just go flying, but this time I decided to spend some time on the ground with my troops. The boys here need to understand everything about murder. Despite what my singing may imply, I am not marching to Harrenhal with my, small army of just 1k, nope. I am marching to fight two complete morons. Lord Darklyn and Lord Mooton. These guys...are certainly very smart. They decided to pick up arms for Black Harren of all people and decided to come march towards Aegon´s camp. 3k Men they have. Against 4 Dragons. I´d say Balls of Valyrian steel, but Valyrian steel is light and doesn´t have any weight. So Balls of pure Chad energy.

Unfortunately, they have the brains of...how do I put this politely...The type of person who doesn´t snort when George says ''After I finish the Winds of Winter''

So, I marched north, towards Duskendale, to confront these morons as quickly as possible. I also hope to destroy both houses Darklyn and Mooton, and then Duskendale and Maidenpool itself.

Imagine the horror on Rhaenys´face ''OH No How dare he destroy the place where Jonquil did stuff'

Orys laughed ''Where did you get the idea for such a ridiculous song, Brother ?''

''In a place far and far away to the west, where the free and the brave dwell. Every four years they choose a king in a vote!''

Orys frowned ''That is absurd. Voting for a king ?... Where is this land? I wish to see it with my own two eyes''

''You cannot go there'' I reply ''But it can come to you! Tis simple. Merely state you have a black liquid called ''Oil'' and that you are unwilling to share it. They will come to free you and bring 'democracy' ''

''I did not understand a word you said. Daeron''

''Sweet summer child. Do not ask about Iraq''

''WHAT IS IRAQ ?!'' Orys took a deep breath to calm himself ''Daeron...sometimes...I worry about your...wits...are you feeling well? Or are you making all of this in your mind merely to jest?''

''I am feeling more than well. I am feeling glorious. This is all I want every day, wake up to some good food, some fire and murder later in the evening, and a comfortable nap at night with Rhaenys to warm my bed. Why, what more can a man need ?''

Orys simply stared at me with bewilderment.

Oh well, his loss. He gets Argella as a consolation prize, she´s good looking too last I heard. But after years of being around Valyrian supremacists, I have thoroughly embraced the path of incest. It is in fact Wincest. If I wasn´t meant to bang my sisters, why are they so attractive?

Checkmate naysayers.

...
I love my sweet war criminal Shrykos. She´s my favorite daughter! Look Daenys, it´s nothing personal, papa just has preferences. I still love you and little Aerion. Even if Shrykos didn´t come from Deez nuts, she is still my child now—just a reptilian child. No one has any business telling me that my daughter is not mine.

Truthfully, Targaryens in the original timeline don´t know how to use Dragons, do they? Female Targaryens especially. Dad arranged a wedding to loser number 69 ?, instead of submitting to Dad, mount your pocket nuke and resist. I mean, if Aegon doesn´t grant me the kingdom I asked of him, I´ll call Rhaenys, we´ll conquer it ourselves using Meraxes and Shrykos and then what´s he going to do about it? Jackshit. Unless he means to mount Balerion to murder his own siblings, he has no power to make me do anything. My Dragon is my powerbase and there´s nothing anyone can do to take it away from me since we are magically bonded. And even if Aegon tried, If Balerion, Vhagar, Meraxes, and Shrykos all fought, the likeliest result is 3 dead dragons and a heavily injured Balerion alongside Aegon as a double kinslayer and no family.

Really, Dragons give so much independence to every Targaryen. I am afraid of what my son and daughter will do with them once they grow. Please don´t be too hard to control, children. Papa doesn´t want to deal with shite.

I say all this because I truly love my Dragon and everything that my beautiful little golden war machine brings to the table. Especially her power to shoot fire. I love fire, have I said that before?

The battle began quite quickly. The combined Darklyn-Mooton forces attacked a couple of days after my little talk with Orys. We already knew that they were coming and from where. I used Shrykos to scout ahead. So we had the bright idea of choosing to fight in a grassy field. Orys made the smart decision to keep the infantry back and only deploy the cavalry. For reasons that become somewhat clear soon.

The morons came at us, shouting war cries and overall thinking they were the shit. I saw their banners. Oh man, they set the pikemen in first. Normally that´s the best way to deal with cavalry. Horses are not stupid, they don´t charge into their death and pointy spikes are death. Really.

Unfortunately for these pals, I have something called Dragonfire.

I swooped in from above with Shrykos, putting them all in a good sauna. I´m such a nice guy, Westeros has these winters that last decades, and I´m sure my friends down there will appreciate some heat. Really, they should just tell me how intense they want it...Aww, they´re shouting, clearly they´re enjoying my gift.

So How bout I give them some more?

Call me a Marxist, but I think sharing is caring.

Sharing Dragonfire that is.

I love hearing their screams of pain. The helplessness and horror in their eyes is exhilarating, little pigs, this is just a nice barbeque, let Papa spread his love.

I am not a sadist. Merely a professional War criminal.

I am passionate about my job.

Astride my Dragon, I laugh a bit, I´m feeling good. The flames have begun to spread in the grass and from there to the soldiers, who have broken formation and begin to run away like the pussies they are. I see two men in plate armor in the vanguard. Beside them are the standard bearers and they are also ahorse.

Call me Sherlock Holmes, those two are Lords Darklyn and Mooton.

Naturally, I roasted them alive. I´m not elitist, the flames are for everyone, just embrace the succ and become a meme lord.

All hail Prince Daeron Targaryen, the prince of fire, booze, women, and memes.

The best parts of life.

The enemy is now terrified and without leadership. So they´re headless chickens flopping around. Awesome. They´re running, oh man they´re running. Whatever will I do ...heheheheh...

THEY ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD!

MOARR FIREEEEEE MOAR MOAR MOAR I WANT FIREEEEE YEAH YEAH YEAH !

Now the horses are good. Because terrified people running away without order or organization are not exactly good runners and will not escape our cavalry.I gotta leave some fun for the boys...right? So I let them stab some people while I watched from above. I need some popcorn right now. AND WINE. I WANT WINE...After My campaign in the Riverlands truly begins, no one will be supervising me, so I will just drink to my heart´s content.

...

''ORYS!'' I say cheerfully, Landing Shrykos and then jumping out the saddle, trying (And failing) to do a cool spin in the air. Instead, I just fall hard on my back. ''Ouch...'' Really...I feel as if there are sick sick people who take enjoyment from my suffering. And that is not acceptable. I get to enjoy other people in pain, not the other way around. Capiche?

Orys laughed at me. Damn him !. ''Help me up...'' I whined. His reply was laughing more ''Fuck you...''

Orys smirked ''Stop being a whiner. On your feet.''

One small step for man. One gigantic step for Daeron. It was also pretty painful...''Oww...my back...''

Baratheon looked less mocking now ''I will fetch a healer for you, Brother. Do not worry''

''Thank you'' I reply ''Losses ? Prisoners ?''

Orys shrugged ''Ten of ours were killed. We have not counted enemy losses yet but...heavy. Overwhelmingly so. You should know that you were atop the Dragon'' I rolled my eyes, looking smug ''As for prisoners...we captured around 60, Daeron.''

''Uhm...'' I saw that Orys´axe was red with blood. He must have had some fun.''Listen to my commands carefully Orys'' He nodded ''I want all these prisoners chained and put on a line. Shirtless and barefooted. They march alongside us...''

''Why not execute them? Daeron...I do not see the purpose in doing all these...elaborate...punishments. Either we have use of them and give them good treatment or we don´t and chop off heads''

I put my hand on his shoulder and gave him my most charming smile. I don´t know if it´s very charming, but it is the best I´ve got ''Trust me Orys. We defeated Volantis, do not forget that. I would not lead you astray''

Orys´ expression darkened ''Aye, I have not forgotten. And neither will that Durrandon cunt when I am through with him.''

''Speaking of...would you please watch my wife...closely...Rhaenys can be...reckless.Curb her worst excesses.''

Orys nodded ''She is my sister as well brother...I would not want to see her killed. Besides, she has Meraxes to protect her. Rhaenys will be well.'' Perhaps I am a bit concerned for her since...she is the mother of my kiddos and she´s my sister-wife and she´s the only one who dies in Canon. Her mentality and behavior also don´t fill me with confidence, so yes, I will try and uhh keep her alive if possible.

''We ought to march to Duskendale now. Let us teach the Westerosi a lesson about defying our family.''

...

The second march was very...interesting hehe...My troops bullied the poor poor prisoners who were only given the scraps of our food. And shitty scraps at that. Who knew peasant levies could be so mean? Not that I´m complaining. I had some time to reflect on things.

I have come to the following conclusion.

Whenever Rhaenys is not in the vicinity, I identify as pyrosexual. No, I will not elaborate further.

Duskendale is off at the distance and I just can´t help the grin coming on my face...oh, I have something fun planned here. See...our family is the sinister six.

Aegon is ''the mastermind''

Visenya is ''the enforcer''

Rhaenys is a ''Gaslighting, girl boss Dragonriding sociopath''

I am a ''Based Pyromaniac War crimes enjoyer''

Aerion and Daenys are ''Apprentices of evil''

Therefore, I am the war crime chef. I am cooking them up like you cook those expensive restaurant meals, and I have all the necessary ingredients...

therefore...

LET ME COOK!

*Cracks knuckles dramatically*

Let´s start making this an atrocity to remember.

I instantly flew Shrykos higher and killed the soldiers that were stationed by the walls. I am not gonna bother with negotiations here. Violence is always the answer.

Afterward, I blasted fire at the main keep. Destroying the roof and making it collapse. Hopefully, I killed Darklyn´s heir here. If I didn´t it´s still fine...really, I´ll kill him later.

It´s Daeronover for House Darklyn.

I saw the weak ass smallfolk looking on in terror below. Women, children, the elderly, and men too, I don´t discriminate. They´re all just fuel to the flames. Nothing more. They´re all just stepping stones to my mission...

BECOMING THE KING OF ALL WAR CRIMINALS!

Shrykos set shops aflame, the fires spreading quickly, I made sure to burn whichever Smallfolk I could find, My plan is essentially to burn everywhere they can run to and leave them squeezed together in a single spot, from there I can kill them from the smoke they inhale.

The prisoners were brought here for a single reason. There is a single reason I left them alive.

I want them to watch the destruction of their home and the killing of their wives and children. I am a husband and Father myself. I can imagine the pain they must feel.

The Darklyn Banner is also engulfed by the flames, Shrykos´golden scales shine in the sunlight, and atop her, I look almost like a freaking god...

A god of pure, unadulterated...DESTRUCTION! I AM THE FIRE!

hehe, Oh I fucking love this shit...I love the smell of smoke, I love setting things on fire and I adore killing these little worthless peasants. I like killing the nobles too. I think I just like killing. BOW TO YOUR PRINCE YOU SHITES! BOW! DAERON! PRINCE OF ALL WAR CRIMINALS! YOU CAN NEVER TAKE THE WAR CRIMES FROM ME! ARGHHHH I AM SUPAH DAERON!

WAR CRIME BLAST!

I set more and more houses and shops on fire, feeling like Godzilla in this blissful moment of joy...

I see that my army and Orys has finally breached the city...

What´s that?

A sept ? ...

Survivors...taking refuge in a sept...

I just have the best idea...

...

''MERCY!'' A tired old Maester says ''Mercy my lord.'' He was in front of the Sept. I saw many women holding little babies. Aww, they´re cute, remind me of little Aerion and Daenys. I made sure to bring the captured prisoners here, maybe one or two could recognize their family, my army was right behind me. Orys had a hard expression..''Lord Darklyn´s son has perished...as has his wife the castle is fallen. My lord...there is no need to continue this assault''

''Is that so ?'' I ask, my eyes narrowing.

''Yes...My lord...'' He took a deep breath ''Lord Daeron.''

I smiled friendly ''I am happy to know I have a reputation. Tell me, Maester, what am I known for ?''

The maester´s lips went into a hard line ''Defeating Volantis. Freeing their slaves...''

''Oh'' I rolled my eyes ''Flattering. Listen here...'' I made an enormous pause, looking to cause as much anxiety and anticipation as possible. Though I did keep my expression friendly...

''I beseech you my lord...''

I saw that the prisoners had finally been put in position to watch everything

''Nah''

Shrykos burned the sept whole. I saw tears and cries coming from the prisoners and bla bla bla they´re so boring and weak...not really I´d cry for Aerion and Daenys and Rhaenys too.

Anyways. I grinned wolfishly and raised Dragonclaw ''MAY THIS BE A LESSON FOR ALL THAT DEFY HOUSE TARGARYEN! You were all given a chance to yield before. But chose defiance. This is what comes from it.''

I turned towards my soldiers. The captives were agitated, but the chains I had on them prevented any real resistance, and they were quickly subdued with hits to their head ''MEN! TAKE WHAT IS DUE! TAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT! WHATEVER YOU WANT! BE IT GOLD TO SPEND OR SOMEONE FOR YOUR PLEASURE. TAKE IT ALL! NONE SHALL HIDE! LOOT AND BURN!''

Yes, I a letting the leash loose. Completely loose. I don´t care at all what my soldiers do to anyone here at all. And I do mean anything. Use your imagination.

This brings me a thought.

I should truly have my own band of scum. Like the mountain´s men. They were based War criminals.

Truly, the easiest way to earn the loyalty of your men is to be a commander who wins and who lets them loot. It´s very effective believe it or not. Wait…but I burned everything…what are they gonna loot ?…fuck

I am also disappointed with one thing, however. The brother of lord Mooton, Jon Mooton. Insta surrendered. Meaning Maidenpool survived. He literally rode from Maidenpool to my location as soon as he heard his brother got cooked. Ass.

As for Duskendale itself? I don´t care. Aegon will just hand it over to a loyal house, this is a trading hub and can be rebuilt and made to regain its old prominence with some support from the crown.

So yes, War crimes are a sport, and I´m going for the gold medal.

Chapter Text

I´m depressed.

Marching back to camp after destroying Duskendale was supposed to be a fun experience. But Maidenpool survived my wrath. Damn you Jon Mooton, couldn´t you just not surrender so I got the chance to raze your castle to the ground and end your family line.

Alas, Mooton had a smart reaction. He found out his brother became plant food and decided the best solution was to rally all the remaining banners and immediately come to confront me...with a flag of surrender. He then knelt and swore allegiance to Aegon and god damn it, I lost my chance to add some more points to my war crime tally. Seeing Mooton´s record in canon, this guy actually seems to be quite competent. During the field of fire, Aegon gave him command of the Targaryen ground troops.

If only he weren´t such a boot licker. Or maybe that is the reaction that I cause to people near me. I mean, I am a murderous fire lover, so maybe people are afraid of getting on my bad side. Who knows.

So yeah. Marching back to camp. Orys is to my right and Lord Jon is to my left. He is wearing a red doublet with a big cloak made out of animal skin. He looked young. Like in his early 20´s. Guy had brown hair and black eyes. He isn´t exactly handsome though, too big a nose. I note all this so I can more effectively hate on this craven. Fight me and die damn you! No surrender! Dumbass Torrhen Stark wannabe.

I hope Torrhen doesn´t surrender on this timeline. I want to end the Stark family lines to make the Boltons warden of the North. Stark fans can cope and seethe. Oh well, I am sure he will only yield faster instead of resisting. One extra Dragon and all.

''Lord...My Lord Daeron...'' Mooton said with a slightly nervous tone ''I would...ask a question, my lord.''

''Go on'' I reply, sounding bored. I am not having fun. I am a good Dragonrider, not so much a Horse rider. I dunno man, horses are dumb and don´t have magical bonds. Dragons are cool.

''King...King Harren, once he is...surely, defeated...your brother would be well served to have a leal servant rule the Riverlands...''

*sighs*

I hate politics. I don´t like to speak much of it, but uhh I´m Aegon´s heir until he gets a son. So besides just having a Dragon and being the brother of the King, I also have that little extra thing on my side. But guess what? My plotting skills are...actually not that bad I think. It´s not that hard, just lie, cheat, and do some underhanded stuff while also making sure to avoid being implicated and consider consequences before acting. Having a fall guy to take the blame for you and bla bla bla all this manipulation just isn´t my cup of tea. Leave it for Rhaenys, she likes lying, and Aegon, he´s the one who likes map painting after all. Me? I am more of a violence kinda guy. Visenya is as well, but she´s willing to play politics for her sweet little psychopath Maegor.

Now that I think about it...if Aegon has a Maegor...my daughter is likely to be the one asked to wed him...Rhaenys would definitely pressure me to accept it...but I am not sure I´m willing to sell my child off to a sociopath. See...I think I am going to let my daughter marry whomever she wants. Sure, it´s not a smart political move, but do I care? Just because I am in Westeros does not mean I care about westerosi norms unless I am forced to care. So yes sweet Daenys, you get to have freedom!

However, that does bring up the question if a Maegor in this timeline would end up like the one in Canon.

I´m rambling.

Back to reality.

''I am sure he would'' I reply.

Mooton chuckled nervously ''I would mention that the other houses in the Riverlands have yet to submit...''

''I am aware.'' I sigh and look at Orys, Who is doing his hardest to not laugh at my face. The piece of shit is enjoying my annoyance. When you take over the Stormlands Orys, it´ll be your turn to deal with all these snakes, then we´ll see if you laugh at me.

''I would be honored to perform the duty...''

''I am sure you would, Lord Jon. My brother will, certainly. be willing to grant you an audience Lord Mooton. Lord Aegon will hear your concerns.''

Jon looked a bit disappointed. The gall. He doesn´t get to ask anything from us. His ass only bent the knee because his brother got cooked alive, he didn´t do it out of some grand loyalty. I will have to deal with noblemen from now on. Unless they are my direct vassals, I have no plans to get involved in courtly intrigue. It´s such a hassle. And for what? After I conquer my own Lands an incomes, there is no need for me to sit in King´s Landing doing boring meeting stuff. I don´t get anything from it. Nah, I think I´ll stay cozy in my castle just chilling with my wife and kiddos. Drinking, flying, and all around having a memorable time. But that´s all after I commit some more atrocities.

WE LOVE ATROCITIES!

Lord Jon stayed, mercifully, quiet for some moments. Until the jackass decided he needed to suck my cock ''How about a...song for this march, my lord ?''

I sighed ''Which song, Lord Mooton ?''

''About your great success in Volantis!''

Orys laughed aloud ''Oh yes, yes, please. I need to hear it. What lies did Rhaenys spread this time...''

Mooton looked confused ''Lies? Did you not defeat Volantis and save the populace?''

''Oh'' I reply , looking at Orys while trying to suppress a snicker ''I did that. So many saved. I am a hero'' I pointed at my Valyrian Steel armor ''Shining armor and all...'' Mooton had been breathless when he saw my little armor. Most people who see it for the first time are. But he had learned to not foam over it too badly.

I get that he´s trying to get on my good side. But he´s just being annoying.

So I am just not gonna bother.

But he did give me a good idea about march songs. I like songs...

''Deep down in Louisiana close to New Orleans...''

Orys and Mooton looked at me as if I was a lunatic while I sang.

Oh well, they´re not ready for this but their kids are gonna love it.

GO! GO! GO DAERON! GO!

...

Reaching what would become King´s Landing was quite the experience. My troops marched in an organized fashion. Orys was good at keeping order, and the soldiers themselves liked me. I let them pilfer and loot at their leisure. Really, they can do whatever they want to anyone they want as long as they obey my commands and remain loyal.

We slowly made our way up Aegon´s high hill. ''Orys'' I said ''Find some lodgings for Lord Mooton and his men. They must be exhausted''

Orys nodded and did as I said.

it was mid-afternoon. The day was...quite pleasant. I liked the wind on my hair.

Some war tents were scattered all over the hill. I saw some, at a distance, on Visenya´s hill as well. There were some new flags here that I had not seen before my departure. New houses that had been subjugated. Rosby, Stokeworth, Bar Emmon, Hayford...and a couple more. The bannermen did not truly look motivated. That is to be expected to some extent. They are being forced to leave their homes to fight for some incestuous tyrants.

My own boys however look plenty happy. They got easy W´s and to loot off corpses. That´s something that dirt poor peasant levies like when given the chance. I let them just go on their way before jumping off the stupid horse I was mounting. I hate horses. Oh well, I only march on the ground instead of following from above on my Dragons because I want the soldiers to see their leader.

Afterward, all I had to do was find Aegon´s tent. Which is easy. The reason being that it´ll be the biggest. Knowing Aegon. And it was.

He was alongside my sisters. Aegon had this big map on a table. They were discussing something until I went in. When he saw me, Aegon seemed quite content and gave me a small smile

''Daeron. You return. Victorious I assume''

''Of course...'' I reply taking my seat beside Rhaenys.

''Report.''

''Lord Darklyn and Mooton were both killed. Mooton´s brother Jon has yielded his swords to us. He already wants the Riverlands for himself''

''Of course'' Aegon muttered with annoyance ''I have not yet conquered a single Kingdom. And already I am surrounded by crows'' He shrugged ''That is expected. And good in a certain way. It is easier to deal with those Lords if we know what they want...what of Duskendale? You have not mentioned what happened to Darklyn´s heirs.''

I snorted ''Destroyed. I smashed their walls burned the city and had the populace slaughtered, some women and children escaped and hid in a sept, so I burned it too, then I made sure to order my soldiers to burn down anything that was left and to kill anyone they could and I made sure to make some captives I had taken from the battle watch the destruction of their home and the death of their families just so they knew they had failed to protect both. Then I had them executed. As for House Darklyn? It is defunct.''

Aegon was staring at me for a minute ''D...did...they yield ?''

''Not fast enough''

Aegon let out a deep breath ''I...suppose...the contrast between the results of resistance in Duskendale and...submission from Mooton...is clear...I...This is...not a problem. You crushed an enemy...even if it seems...excessive. They were already defeated...why...why keep going? and...why...all this...pointless torture...'' He cleared his throat ''Still. A victory. Duskendale is ours...I suppose I will grant it to our Uncle as a holding. He ought to make good use of it...''

''I raised that boy...'' I heard Visenya mutter with a weird look of pride in her eyes.

Uhhh...The hell...No you didn´t.

Rhaenys was looking at me with some shock ''Daeron! I want the smallfolk to love us, not fear us!''

Oh, how noble.

''Our brother did nothing wrong'' Visenya replied ''Duskendale resisted and was destroyed. There is nothing more to it.''

Rhaenys just stayed quiet, looking a bit down. Aegon must have noticed it ''Rhaenys, those who defy us must be granted no pity until they are forced to kneel. I question...why Daeron would continue...after killing the Darklyns...rebuilding Duskendale will be costly...but besides that, he performed well.''

my wife looked at me ''Would you fly with me later ?'' I nodded in response.

''Anyhow...'' Aegon said ''My coronation!'' He was happy now. Way too happy.

Visenya replied with a serious expression ''All the preparations are done. It will be done in two days.''

Oh, that.

I already know my role in it.

Aegon wants me to be the one to put the crown in his head! Visenya hails him king and Rhaenys unfurls our banner for the first time.

Nice.

I remember asking him why he wanted me to be the one to actually put the crown instead of Visenya, his queen, and his reply was because I was a man and Andal Westeros is funny like that.

I mean...

Damn.

Can´t fight that logic.

...

I do like flying.

Have I said it before?

Likely yes.

Rhaenys was on Meraxes, right by my side, Her hair was flying all over the place because of the wind. I mean, I am not sure on the logistics of it getting in the way of her eyes. But hey, she can do what she wants. I know Aegon keeps his short and Visenya keeps her braided exactly because of this. But Rhaenys is gonna Rhaenys.

Rhaenys wore her typical dragon-riding stuff.She was all smiles.''Ahhh...this feels so good...''

''It does..''

We were flying above Blackwater Bay, well actually it´s Blackwater Rush. The river was deep and swift, wide as well. The bank was a bit muddy, but nothing too much. From up here we can see some grassy plains...and some woods too. The sun is setting. Rhaenys was looking like Buddha achieving inner peace.

''Daeron, do you think our sweet children will enjoy flying as well? I just cannot wait to see them on their Dragons...''

''They´d have to be lackwits not to. And I hope they are not lackwits.''

Rhaenys scoffed ''They come from me. Of course, they won´t be!''

I snorted ''Humble aren´t we ?''

Rhaenys rolled her eyes ''Look at us Daeron! We are flying! Flying! We are closer to the skies than the ground. How can anyone else hope to compare? I could defeat ten thousand swords with Meraxes alone. We are closer to gods than men!''

''Keep telling yourself that, Rhaenys. If it makes you feel better''

She laughed and then looked towards the river. Rhaenys narrowed her eyes. ''Could we land there? I have something to do...''

''You did bring that Dagger I gave you correct?''

She frowned ''I did, but why would I need it ?''

''Meraxes cannot protect you unless you´re on her back''

''Oh...'' Rhaenys replied, looking so much like a dumb student who got chastised by a teacher for not bringing homework that I laughed. Which made her laugh too.

We landed quite skillfully might I add. Rhaenys spends a very considerable amount of time flying, so she is a very good rider. I am as well.

Rhaenys walked to the bank, looking determined, a steely gaze in her features.

She picked up a stone and threw it at the river.

''Aww...it didn´t bounce...''

I looked flabbergasted ''You stopped flying...for this ?''

Rhaenys shrugged ''I saw the soldiers doing it at camp and wanted to try it myself when no one was looking. I wouldn´t want to embarrass myself...'' She kept throwing stones at the river, trying to get it to bounce. Rhaenys grumbled when she failed.''I won´t give up...''

''Why am I here again ?''

Rhaenys picked up another stone and took a deep breath ''Cheer for me!'' She threw the stone and it bounced exactly once. Rhaenys jumped with delight ''YES! Another victory for Rhaenys!''

Sorry

I just have to break her mood.

I picked up a stone and bam. 10 skips.

''WHAT ?!'' She cried out ''NOT FAIR! HOW DID YOU DO IT!''

''This is a game for children Rhaenys. Mayhaps you would have learned it if you were not so worried about pretty dresses and dancing''

Rhaenys crossed her arms and growled ''We´ll see about that...''

She then spent 10 minutes, trying and failing to mimic my success. Until she just gave up and laid down quietly. Rhaenys being quiet is a rare...rare thing. She had her arms crossed behind her head and stared at the sky with a contemplative look.

''I had something on my mind...brother.''

''Go on''

''Well...think about this for a moment...We were all educated by maesters...so if someone were to...tell the maesters what to teach...As in...telling them what truly happened in any given event...''

Hey Rhaenys, George Orwell called, he´d like his Big Brother back

''I see your point''

''Yes, really, think about it! So much of what we know was taught by the maesters in our youth. So I thought...should we not try and have some control over that? We would not want slanders to be spread about our...rule and conquest...We should find some way of telling them exactly how things truly happened, and have them write it word for word. And...erase...everything else''

''You mean they should lie''

Rhaenys grumbled ''The truth is whatever I say it is!''

You know Rhaenys, maybe we should give you a job in any modern government. With that attitude, you´d fit right in. I smirked and she narrowed her eyes

''Listen here Daeron...we are Dragonlords. We...know better... than the rest. All of Westeros should love and admire us! Our bravery, beauty, and wisdom! The average noble in these lands only learns from Maesters and leaves the rest to experience...So they should only hear of our glories and victories as children, the average peasant wishes nothing more than to toil in his field, in peace, with a wife and children. He listens to some songs in his free time at some Inn when he rests from his week´s labor, so the songs should all tell them we are good! He listens to his septons preaching as well...but I can hardly have any power over that...'' Rhaenys gritted her teeth ''Unfortunately.''

Aw My sweet Rhaenys is an elitist snob. Then again, Visenya is racist and every Westerosi lord is a mixture of the two.

''My point is, Daeron. That I want them all to love and cheer me! I don´t want to be despised by our own subjects, they should know just how lucky they are to be saved from the misrule of their previous overlords...and into our gentle hands...but you make it so hard by doing all those...those things at Duskendale...Oh everyone is going to hate me!'' Rhaenys teared up.

I hugged her and brought her head to my chest, putting my hand behind her head as she cried. I then spoke in a low whisper.

''Rhaenys, love...''

''You are going to have to try harder than that.''

''HUH ?!'' Rhaenys replied, baffled.

''Come on, I've known you since you were a child. I can tell when you fake tears. You can´t trick me''

Rhaenys broke free from my hug and pouted, wiping the tears from her eyes. ''I...was not faking...''

I laughed. Rhaenys looked at her feet like a child who got caught trying to grab the cookies at night. I laughed harder

''Mayhaps...I exaggerated my feelings on this issue...'' Rhaenys said ''But my point stands!''

Sorry Rhaenys, but I ain´t dialing back no war crimes because you want people to like you.

See ya, space cowboy.

Chapter Text

Aegon´s coronation!

The first one I mean. He had a second one in Oldtown later on in canon.

This first coronation is somewhat needed. But it is far less...sophisticated if you will. The purpose here is entirely to secure some legitimacy in the eyes of Westerosi. By crowning himself King, Aegon is stating his right to rule, claiming that he is of equal bloodline and heritage to all the other Westerosi houses, and just daring them to do anything about it. My Brother has every intention of being accepted by his subjects, so this type of procedure helps to say ''I am not some Essosi Barbarian. I am not just a warlord. I am a king and a Westerosi nobleman''

But that´s just optics. Optics matter, might makes right true to some extent, but it´s also not what Aegon wants. Aegon wants to take Westeros with his might, but to rule it through actual loyalty, respect, and dedication. Not just fear. I agree with him that this is the most effective way to govern. But it is also boring. Fooking Feudal contract. I am a based enjoyer of Violence. Though...sadly...I will make a token effort to secure the succession of my kids when I finally take the West. How dull.

We are here at the ''Aegonfort''. Sorry, I laughed a bit, let me repeat it, ''AEGONFORT'' My brother has the naming skill of Batman. What´s next? The Aegonsword? The Aegonthrone? or is Balerion the Aegonmobile? Yeah, the Aegonfort...*snorts* is a temporary measure. After we are done with the conquest, Aegon will tear it down and build an actual castle/keep. He just needs it here to have somewhere to convene with his vassals without having to keep sailing to Dragonstone all the time. But it won´t last long.

So, here it begins, in the ramshackle wooden Aegonfort built on Aegon´s high hill. No great fortress for a King. But it is the Start of the Reign of King Aegon I Targaryen. The Conqueror. Aegon Aegon Aegon. My brother likes putting his name on things. Narcissistic today aren´t we?

The wooden hall we are in is quite wide if nothing else. It has a big red carpet that Aegon will walk on until he gets to the right spot. To the left and the right are our bannerman and some recently subjugated Lords. From my count, around 12. We have really gotten things started quickly have we not?

Aegon was quite strict when it came to our attire. We are to begin a conquest after all, so he had us all garb ourselves as warriors. I wear my shiny Valyrian steel armor, my sword in its sheath. Visenya wore chainmail and had Dark sister on her hip and Blackfyre in her hands. Certainly, patriarchal Westeros didn´t find that one very nice. Even my sweet sweet Rhaenys was forced to wear armor, after heavy resistance. And I do mean heavy. She tried every trick in the book, from flat-out denial to attempted manipulation, to crying, to begging, to attempted seduction. But Rhaenys was, ultimately, defeated and forced to comply. Her armor is scaled armor because according to Rhaenys ''It looks more like a Dragon''. She wears a flowing red cape and a black belt on her waist. Rhaenys also has a sword! That´s right, my girl with a sword. It´s not Valyrian steel, it´s just a regular sword. Good thing it´s just for optics, Rhaenys can´t use a sword to save her life. I challenged her to take it out of the sheath properly and Rhaenys took 5 minutes to do it. Still, Rhaenys looks hella cute pretending to be a warrior, even if she´s not one at all.

Finally, the coronation began!

Aegon came into the hall. His cape was Black and red, his armor was of pure steel, made by the Qohorik smiths I brought from Volantis. He had Iron gauntlets and Iron boots, a leather belt on his waist, and a serious look on his face. Aegon´s silver hair was cut short. His purple eyes looked to the sides occasionally, to see the lords that had surrendered to him.

Whenever Aegon passed through one of our bannerman, the one on the right and the one on the left of the carpet would raise their swords and cross it behind Aegon. The hall was completely silent, bar the noises of Aegon´s iron boots on the ground and a Herald who was shouting to the Lords that they were welcomed to the coronation of King Aegon.

Aegon walked until he reached where I was when he knelt in front of me...

A servant brought me a cushion, with Aegon´s crown on top. It was a simple crown. Just a Valyrian steel circlet with some big square-cut rubies in it. I placed it on his head. Hehehe...I´M SER CRISPIN COLE! KINGMAKER!.... Actually, never mind, I don´t wanna be Ser Crispin. but I´ll keep the Kingmaker moniker in my mind.

Now it was Visenya who shouted ''ALL HAIL AEGON! FIRST OF HIS NAME, KING OF ALL WESTEROS AND SHIELD OF HIS PEOPLE!'' I took Aegon´s hand to help him up, and Visenya handed him Blackfyre.

Our bannerman, began to hit their spear shafts on the ground with such fervor it was as if the whole hall was shaking,and shouted

''AEGON! AEGON! AEGON!'' I saw the hint of a smile coming to his face. Someone likes attention.

The lords, who had been far less enthusiastic thus far, also shouted ''THE KING OF WESTEROS!'' And threw their swords at his feet;

Now it was Rhaenys´turn to do something. She pulled out a flag and unfurled it. Waving the new Banner of House Targaryen above her head. A four-headed Black Dragon on a red field. It looks pretty cool.

Finally, Visenya´s crown was brought to me. A simple gold circlet. No decorations or anything. Even Aegon thought it was a bit too simple for a queen but Visenya just said that ''The only thing I want on my head is a helmet. Anything else is a waste.'' And Aegon relented. I put it in her head. Then there came the chants of her name and ''Queen of all Kingdoms'' and stuff.

Aegon raised Blackfyre and Visenya went to his right. Rhaenys and I to his left. I put a hand on her shoulder and another on my sword´s hip. I see that Rhaenys wants to take out the sword we gave her so she can look cool or whatever. But she knows she´ll just mess up and embarrass herself. So that sword stays firmly in its sheath.

Finally.

We´re done with all this boring nonsense.

A couple of days later we scattered. I began to march towards to Harrenhal, Aegon began to make his way to Highgarden, Rhaenys and Orys to storm´s end and Visenya with my Uncle to Crackclaw Point before making their way to the Vale.

Time to murder!

Chapter Text

Tell me...

If the Riverlands weren´t meant to be burned...

Why are they so flammable? Checkmate, Atheists, now embrace your new God, the flamy one. Causer of Doom and bringer of Death.

Oh well...

I am going on my Conan the Barbarian phase. Not the movie Conan, but Book Conan, which almost the entirety of supposed Conan ''Fans'' haven´t even read. *Petulant scoff*

CROM!

That means I want to just go shirtless and ultra-muscle guy kicking the shit out of people with an unwieldy Axe. Unfortunately, that is not possible for I lack the muscle mass necessary and I don´t have a Valyrian steel axe, I gave one to Orys back in Volantis. No, I have Dragonclaw and my dear spear I never use called Gungnir. Because I am a Norse mythology Stan and decided I simply needed to have the Spear of Odin.

I march with haste toward the God´s eye. I have this sweet little hack called Canon Knowledge. I know where the Hoare´s have hidden their army, I know how the Battle of the Reeds goes, and the subsequent wailing willows. So instead, I am just going to hit hard and fast and stop Harren´s sons from doing their sneaky ambush by reaching their spot faster than expected and not fumbling like Aegon. How the hell do you get ambushed and suffer Heavy casualties when Balerion is right there dude? Just use him to see the terrain. In my case, that isn´t necessary as I have canon knowledge and am aware of where everyone is, but still. Bad form Aegon.

We ride through a somewhat forested area, with trees and bushes and boring green stuff that needs to be set alight.

CROM!

My troops are quite well-balanced in composition. I chose pikemen and horsemen to form the majority of my army. I only need the mobility of the horsemen to chase runners and I only need the pikemen to hold land, Shrykos is the one that decides the battles, these guys are here to assist her, they need only complement what she cannot do. I do, however, have a significant contingent of Crossbowmen and archers. More crossbows than Bows to be fair. But I won´t tell ya why I need`em. It´s all part of my plan with Black Harren. I won´t burn down Harrenhal, it won´t be necessary, and neither will I fight some grand battle to take him out of his hole. Nope, I have a different idea in mind. Try and figure it out...hehehe...

I also have some wonderful Ideas on what I´ll do when I get my hands on the guy...

I miss Rhaenys.

But I also miss Orys, it was easier marching with Orys than with Jon Mooton. Why? Because Orys is my bro, Mooton is my servant, and he is afraid of me...well, I suppose there is a good reason.

But still, Baka Harren! I just want to torture the shit out of you! I can guarantee I´ll make Ramsay Bolton look like a lil Bitch by the time I´m through with you.

''Your Grace'' Lord Jon Mooton says ''I would ask, is it not wise to send the scouts first? To secure the terrain, Unless you are on your Dragon, our forces are heavily disadvantaged.'' Oh man, I love getting called your grace. It´s a title reserved essentially for the King, but it is applicable to Princes as well. And Aegon is fine with Rhaenys and I getting it too. He doesn´t care. What a generous guy.

''Do not worry, Lord Mooton'' I reply ''I know exactly where our foes are. In a neat little spot on the southern shore of the God´s eye. I know all about them, my lord.''

''I do not mean to question you, Your Grace'' He says with a more worried tone ''But...how ?''

I smirk.

I read this book called A World of Ice and Fire is how.

''I have a thousand eyes and one, Lord Mooton''

Jon shivered a bit but stayed quiet.

Man, I do love abusing canon knowledge. What a lovely thing it is. Now I´ll just Lord Mooton think I´m omniscient or a sorcerer or something like that.

It is quite Ironic that it was now that I saw some movement coming from ahead, Jon Mooton´s hand immediately went to his sword, as we saw two men on horseback come, though we could see there was a larger troop coming behind with them. I could not just count how many at a glance, but I could tell it was a sizable quantity. I was not particularly worried, despite marching on the ground, Shrykos follows the army from high in the skies, where most cannot even see her. If she feels her rider is in distress, she will descend and rain some hell below.

''NAME YOURSELVES!'' Mooton shouted ''You are in the presence of His Grace the Prince Daeron Targaryen!''

I raised my hand to silence Mooton. I already knew who these guys were. It was Edmyn Tully and the other guy must be Lord Blackwood.

You could ask yourself how I knew and the answer is simple. Edmyn is the first river lord to submit to Aegon, and the Blackwoods are Mary Sue´s so of course they will be the other house to join up with the winners. I hate stupid BLACKWOODS!

My suspicions were proven correct immediately as I saw the Trout Banner of House Tully and the tree banner of house Blackwood.

CROM! SOMEONE FETCH ME AN AXE!THERE ARE TREES I MUST DESTROY

''Lord Tully'' I say with a cheerful happy tone, completely relaxed on my Horse´s back. ''It is a good thing to see you. I hope you did not come to Clash Steel?''

Edmyn Tully was a young man. In his 20´s perhaps. He seemed smarter than all of westerosi nobility and wore plate armor with a surcoat that showed the trout banner again. He had a sword on his hip and fierce blue eyes with short-cut red hair and a trimmed beard. Lord Edmyn was average when it came to height and he was not built too weak, or too strong.

''We had not expected to see you until at least one more day of marching'' He replied. Looking at the banner of the four-headed Black Dragon that we carried.

''I hope my presence is a welcome surprise, though still, you have yet to answer my question''

''I came not with hopes of fighting you, Prince Daeron'' He took a deep breath ''But of joining you''

Edmyn dismounted from his Horse. ''For three generations...Since the fall of Storm King Arrec at the hands of King Hawyn Hoare, our people have suffered under the yoke of the Ironmen. They come in their Longships to take our well-earned coin and to steal from our crops with the excuse of 'tribute'...aye we pay that tribute, and it all goes to that accursed fortress of our cursed ruler. Harren´s soul is as black as his title, he has raped the Riverlands of its wealth, all to construct the monument of his arrogance. He beggared the Iron Islands and my lands alike for it.'' Edmyn grits his teeth with anger ''So I ask you, what will happen if I yield to your brother? This Aegon Targaryen, so-called King of all Westeros. Will he free my folk? Will he bring us justice for the fallen? Or is he another Harren? Will we be free from oppression?''

''King Aegon is no tyrant'' I reply ''He has no intentions of bringing ruin to your people. Aegon wishes from you submission and nothing else. He will not strip you of lands, he will not cut your lordly rights, and he will not interfere with your faiths either. All he asks is obedience, tribute, and levies in times of war. Nothing more and nothing less. Yield to Aegon and you will be granted reprieve from Harren, no Ironmen will trouble your shores again. Aye, the Ironborn are a proud and hardy folk, skilled in the ways of war, but they do not have Dragons. Harrenhal is tall and strong, but Dragons fly''

Edmyn bent the knee and joined my host. So did Lord Blackwood. I left Blackwood behind, with my ground troops, and took with me only the cavalry and the Lords Tully and Mooton, so as to march as quickly as possible.

...
The Battle of the Reeds in this timeline was very...very easy. I had a Dragon, the enemy didn´t, my army had the element of surprise and oh by the way the enemy had like 2k troops at most. This was an easy clap.

It is night, I am atop Shrykos, and from here I can see the Ironborn encampment, I can also see the shore of the god´s eye...which is somewhere I do not want to go because it´s a weird funky place that ends up bad for half the Targaryens that go there. Be it Daemon vs Aemond and Maegor vs Aegon, Just uh, stay away thank you.

The fools are all asleep. I can understand them kinda. They aren´t used to Dragon warfare, they genuinely didn´t think about me just mounting Shrykos and burning them all at night. Oh well. They will regret it soon.

I swoop in from above, setting fire to the biggest Pavillion I see immediately, afterwards I set fire to the walls they had constructed. '' YA´LL ARE COOKED!'' I shout from atop Shrykos...I see some archers in wooden towers, so I shoot some fire At them.

The camp descends into chaos, every man for himself, I see some Ironmen heading for Longships to try and row away from the camp and across God´s eye, but I set the ships alight as well. Sorry lads, I´m just a big fan of lighting up some wooden candles.

You all will never escape me, even in death. Keep a spot in hell warm for me friends, because once I am there, I will kill you all again ten times ten thousand.

From below the horn is sounded, and I see my army charge into the camp, beginning to slaughter the Ironmen that had managed to hide away from my initial burnings, either by simply being so small I couldn´t see or by playing dead. The riverlanders were merciless, they had their own list of grievances with the Ironborn and I´d consider it a pretty valid grudge by this point. Revenge isn´t a fools game in this case, because it´s free.

Some Ironmen would throw down arms and attempt a surrender, but they were quickly killed, with very few being taken captive. Shit, I don´t care in the slightest, prisoners, kill them, play with them, they´re essentially potatoes to me unless they´re nobles.

Speaking of, I very specifically ordered Harren´s sons to be taken captive instead of killed. I want to have fun with one of them and I need the other to deal with the sire. Not in the ways one might expect, but oh well. I HAVE A PLAN! HAVE SOME GODDAMN FAITH AEGON!-Daeron Van der Linde

I grin at the sight of the flames flying up into the starry night sky...

Beautiful...beautiful fire...my beloved, lady of slaughter, bringer of terror, harbinger of doom, the scourge of all life, swift as the wind and dim as the night...sweet as a little girl...my most precious gift, and one I am oh so generous with...

Well, I did say when Rhaenys wasn´t near I am Pyrosexual...

Aww, I miss Rhaenys. She is a snot and a liar, but She´s my sister-wife. And I say that with pride, I have learned that Incest is very much wincest.

I wonder, what will Aerion think of his papa when he grows up? And Daenys? Will they love me despite my atrocities? Hopefully so, I love these little sacks of flesh. I want to teach them all about my war crimes, and I hope they grow up to learn how much of a lovely sport it is to slaughter, truly, a joy!

So anyway, I started blasting.

''DRACARYS YOU CUNTS! DRACARYS! LET ME COOOOOKKKKKK'''

...
''Well... '' I say with a happy grin on my face. Looking at the two captured Ironborn prisoners. Sons of Black Harren ''What do we have here?''

We were in a temporary makeshift camp that I´d built, the Prisoners stashed in my tent.

The older Ironman spat on me. Despite being utterly defeated and chained, this guy still has some spirit. How admirable. Shame you´ve sealed your fate with that. I actually was considering giving you a dignified death.

Sorry pal, rules are rules and you only get respect if you give it back.

Lord Tully was brimming with joy at the sight of the Ironmen in chains. He smirked ''How does Thralldom feel now? When your neck is the once burdened? Eh, Alleck?''

''Wait wait'' I tell Tully ''The older one is Alleck and the younger one is ?...''

''Hareg'' He replied ''Both are known for claiming the right of the first night across the Riverlands, though Hareg is a coward where Alleck is brave.''

Man, I am not going to remember those names, I´m just calling them Potato Number I and Potato Number Two. I am going to keep the head of one of them…the other…well I have something special planned with his dead body…mwahahah…

Edmyn chuckled ''Prince Daeron, I would ask that you execute these two fiends.''

''You don´t need to ask, It´ll be a pleasure to see them dead''

''Good!'' Edmyn turned to a servant ''Fetch some rop-''

''No'' I reply ''I have some better ideas in mind''

''I will have the younger brother beheaded, this older one, however...'' I smirked ''Bring me four warriors' I told a servant ''And fetch me my spear''

Finally will have some use for it!

Edmyn looked confused ''Your grace, what are you going to do?''

''Kill this cunt''

My four bannermen arrive right on time, I am also given my Valyrian steel spear. I hold the shaft, enjoying the weight.

''All of you, hold a limb. I want one man holding each leg and each arm.''

The Ironman resisted, screaming and shouting curses, but he was chained, his efforts were futile.''

''Good...'' I say cheerfully ''Now spread his legs.''

My soldiers did as bid

I stabbed him right in the asshole with my spear.

''ARGHHHH'' Potato Number I shouted, tears in his eyes.

''Oh, I am sorry? Are you crying?'' I ask mockingly ''Should I call mama for you? haha...''

I dig my spear in deeper.

One could say he has...

a Stick up his arse...

Ha....

HAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHHAHA

Chapter Text

Princess Rhaenys Targaryen, HATED marching.

It was dirty, she didn´t have her usual silken beds to sleep in, no wines, no singers, she only had Orys for companionship, and, worse, he made her stay in the ground unless explicitly ordered to fly on Meraxes and scout ahead! THE HORROR! The only bright spot was that the men liked appreciating her beauty and Rhaenys loved to tease them about it without doing anything improper. Rhaenys liked the attention and knew she deserved it, of course, she wouldn´t sully herself with those Dragonless men, but they deserved to see the most beautiful woman to have ever been conceived since the beginning of time. BOW BEFORE THE PRINCESS! BOW! BOW TO RHAENYS!

There was one good part about marching however, when it was night and the sky was starry, Rhaenys liked to look up and count the stars. Rhaenys wanted to fly on Meraxes and touch them, but they were out of reach. Someday Rhaenys would like to fly west of the sunset sea and discover what was until now unknown. Many had tried and many had failed, but Rhaenys wasn´t just anyone and she was curious. Mayhaps she would take her sweet children with her once they grew some more with their Dragons. Oh, and she would take Daeron as well. Because why not? Why shouldn´t Rhaenys take half the Targaryen royal family with her on her trip, it would be quite entertaining. Rhaenys wanted to know the world! And the world needed to know her. Of course. It would be a horrible disservice for the people in the world to not look at her at least once.

Just thinking about flying made Rhaenys sad. She lowered her head in abject defeat while staring at her most cursed foe. The typical horse. who had twice the legs of a dragon but none of the wings. These...creatures...were mortal foes of Rhaenys Targaryen. Shackling her to the ground when Rhaenys should be flying atop Meraxes and feeling the wind on her face. An abject tragedy and injustice was being perpetrated, and no one came to free her.

OH

THE

HORROR!

Here were the conditions Rhaenys desired for her march to Storm´s end

1-A beautiful Silken pavilion to call her own.

2-Servants to do her nails when requested.

3-A carriage to carry her if she felt tired.

4-Opportunity to ride Meraxes whenever it seemed entertaining.

5-entourage of bards to sing at her leisure.

That sounded like a pleasant experience! Truly, besides the few rides that had been allowed to her, another source of joy had been playing and meddling with her jewelry. Daeron had brought a wide collection from Volantis, but Rhaenys´personal favorite was a necklace with some blood-red rubies. Rhaenys thought it was perfect! Working wonders with her eyes and face... hehe...Rhaenys loved looking her best.

Alas, her joys were few in this systemic and cruel oppressive system that was placed upon her. The only possible way to remedy the situation was to put Rhaenys in control and allow her to command others as she sees fit. It would make for a far more just and productive experience in this military campaign. Rhaenys was almost yearning for a fight, if only because it would give her a chance to fly. It was her right and privilege as a Targaryen to soar the skies.

Orys must have noticed her discomfort ''Rhaenys...are you well?''

''We march all day, every day!'' She whined ''I hate it! When does it end?''

''Calm yourself, Sister, we are in the Kingswood, see the river there? that is the wendwater, ''

Baratheon pointed to a small river. It seemed to be slow and calm, but deep. Nothing remarkable. Orys´comment about the Kingswood was quite true. The army marched on grassy tracks flanked by thick tall trees that occasionally blotted out the sun. A hassle and a Drag that bothered Rhaenys Targaryen.

''As you say'' She replied ''The sooner we arrive at Storm´s end and crush Argillac, the better''

Orys shook with anger and muttered ''Aye. 'The only hands you will have from me' I will squeeze his neck with my hands, and then I´ll see if he has something to say about them''

Rhaenys thought her brother´s anger was perfectly justified! He was half Dragonblood, not pure like Rhaenys and her siblings, but certainly in a different class then Argella Durrandon. She should be the one begging to have Orys´hand in marriage, not the other way around. Orys had a significant chance of claiming a dragon if he tried, even if it was not a guarantee, he ought not be despised or belittled. Rhaenys did believe that Dragons made her family superior, for some reason Daeron would laugh at her when she mentioned these obvious truths and call her ''Racist'' for it. Daeron also said Visenya was a ''Racist''

Rhaenys didn´t know what Racism was, but she knew she was the best at it because she was Rhaenys. Therefore, Rhaenys was the most Racist Racist to ever do Racism. It was simply impossible for Visenya to out-skill Rhaenys in anything! Except for the things that she did. Those did not count and did not matter at all. Ignore it all. IGNORE! So what that Visenya might know sorcery and that she was a great swordswoman? Forget about all that and come hear Rhaenys sing, she played a flute like no one else and was the best dancer in all the seven kingdoms (Contesting that title is punishable with ingestion via Meraxes)

''Orys'' Rhaenys replied with a smile ''Don´t feel so much anger. We all know your worth, what this Durrandon says means nothing, he will be defeated and you will take his lands and daughter. Aegon decreed that we give our foes one chance to yield, but Argillac is known as the Arrogant for a reason, he will refuse.'' Rhaenys giggled ''Don´t be such a grump!''

Orys remained with an angry tone ''A man has need of revenge, Rhaenys. He insulted my honor''

Rhaenys rolled her eyes ''Oh, come on Orys, will I have to give you a hug for you to smile?''

''I will smile when I have my axe in Durrandon´s chest.''

Rhaenys huffed. She just wanted him happy! Was that so wrong.

''You´ll get your chance unless Meraxes and I do him in first, don´t worry, We are Targaryens! Blood of the Dragon! What can these measly Stormlanders Do-''

Suddenly, there came arrows from the woods, Rhaenys also heard the sound of boots and commands being barked

''AMBUSH!' Orys shouted while pulling out his Valyrian steel axe ''Protect the Princess!''

Rhaenys yelped with horror as her horse threw her off his saddle and into the ground. Rhaenys saw that an arrow had flown right where she had been mounted. A close call that could have left her sweet babes without a parent. Though Rhaenys felt no fear, she was no coward. Rhaenys heard the sounds of the fighting while staring up at the blue sky, steel clashed with steel, she heard the screams of pain and a few of delight, blood trickled down to the ground that was full of leaves.

But Rhaenys felt exactly one emotion.

Pure

Unaldurated.

FURY!

THEY HAD RUINED HER HAIR!

and killed a bunch of soldiers.

BUT THE HAIR!

The fighting continued for around an hour before the attackers retreated.

...

Rhaenys wanted revenge. And she wanted it fast. And she wanted it bloody.

The ambush had been done by Lords Errol, Fell, and Buckler. These three had slain around one thousand of Orys´troops. They had to die. Rhaenys was not about to give them mercy, they had to die, to DIE!

Her first instinct once the army reorganized was to mount Meraxes, and so she did, her beautiful silver Dragon was necessary for this.

She flew high above the Kingswood, unsure of the exact location of her foes. ''Dracarys'' She said in a low and murderous tone, Silvery flames burst from Meraxes´mouth and unleashed a wall of fire, Rhaenys didn´t give a fuck about the possibility of killing some unlucky soul that was in the crossfire, or even in burning this entire forest down. All that mattered was slaying Errol, Fell and Buckler.

At first, the fires seemed ineffective.

So Rhaenys blasted some more fire, the smoke so tall Rhaenys was sure it could be seen from Storm´s end. And finally, Rhaenys was sure that she had hit her target as she began to hear screams of horror and fear. So Rhaenys swooped down and began to burn more and more of the forest, she made sure to begin burning some of the exit paths as well, to ensure no one could escape and even if the fire didn´t get to them, the smoke would make them choke and die from lack of air. Rhaenys saw one or two attempts to run out of the forest and into the wendwater, but she would not allow that and those that did not die to Meraxes´ flames drowned for they foolishly tried to swim across while garbed in armor. Sinking to the bottom. Rhaenys also made sure to fly thrice over the Kingswood and shoot her flames thrice in order to guarantee that no one escaped her wroth.

''That´s what you get...'' She muttered with narrowed eyes

NO ONE messes with Rhaenys Targaryen (And her HAIR) and gets away with it, try and attack the best Dragonrider of Westeros, and you´ll come out burned.

Chapter Text

Aegon came down from the skies atop Balerion and Cider Hall burned.

Smallfolk ran with horror across the streets, guardsmen atop the walls tried shooting at Balerion, only to be quickly killed by the fire, houses, and shops were destroyed almost immediately, and a sept was also wiped away by the spreading of the flames, the smoke suffocated some who thought themselves safe inside stone walls and had run into crowded spots. The castle itself was being destroyed, nothing could resist Balerion for long.

The Black Dread´s fires were the hottest of all living dragons, none of his siblings´ mounts could hope to compare. The fires that were as dark as the Dragon´s scales would melt stone, turn glass to sand and bones to ash. Nothing could stand in its path. No weapons could harm its skin that was thicker than Iron, a whole auroch could be swallowed whole by the Dragon, and each tooth was the size of a sword and as sharp as one too. The shadow of its wings would engulf a city. Balerion was the last creature to have ever seen Valyria in its zenith, and it would be the tool with which Aegon destroyed his enemies.

The Fossoways of Cider Hall had chosen defiance, and now they would die for it. As simple as that. Aegon did not relish the prospect of annihilating them, but they were in the way, and all obstacles were to be removed by force if necessary. Aegon had given them one chance to surrender, one day to think on their allegiances, and they had chosen to remain faithful to King Mern. Outside the walls of the keep, watched with horror and awe men that had chosen to submit to their new Conqueror. Caswells of Bitterbridge, Merryweathers of Longtable, and Bannermen of House Meadows. Those three had wisely chosen to bend the knee and survive. And survive they would, once his wars were finished, Aegon would have no fighting inside his kingdom. He would have order and he would have peace, defying those two things would mean defying him, and it would mean death.

Aegon had little interest in stripping nobles of their rights. He had told as much to all the lords that had submitted, their rights to pits and gallows, their right of first night, and their titles and incomes would remain intact. He was interested in their fealty, nothing else. That had done much to assuage their fears. And the newly conquered lords certainly felt much fear. ''He is a foreigner'' they whispered ''An Essosi warlord and barbarian'', ''A heathen who beds his sister''. They would learn in time, however, that he was no foreigner, that he was no warlord but a King, and that he would not be denied anything, if Aegon wanted to bed his sister, he would and that would be the end of it. If Aegon wanted something, he would have it, and no obstacles were to stop him for long. He wanted Westeros, and he would have it.

Aegon had moved as quickly as he could, seizing some castles without much fighting. Longtable had yielded peaceably upon sight of Balerion, while half of Bitterbridge had needed to be burned before the Caswells followed suit. King Mern had not been slow to respond to this attack however, last Aegon heard he had begun assembling his host, with men from Ashford, Brightwater keep, Old Oak, the Arbor, Goldengrove, and other vassals rallying in Highgarden.

The only ones absent were the Hightowers of Oldtown, supposedly the High septon had locked himself for some days after Aegon´s landing and told his followers to not resist, lest Oldtown be burned. Aegon was pleased, he had enjoyed Oldtown the last time he had been in the city...except for that thrice-damned knight that had beaten him as a child. Damn him. Aegon still remembered, and he was still angry.

When it came to the matter of faith, Aegon would want all his Dragons to appear in Oldtown and the Starry sept at once. He would recall all his siblings.4 Dragons would look more intimidating than only one, even if Balerion himself should be enough to scare any reasonable man, fanatics are not reasonable. Aegon would also want to deal with this High septon personally. They would surely have to deal with one another

Truly, when imagining his future reign, Aegon saw only a couple of headaches...The faith for one, would be a nuisance, but one he would deal with, and his two younger siblings as well.

Daeron and Rhaenys were Dragonriders. Besides the link in blood, a certain level of respect was owed to them from that alone. One Dragon could defeat ten thousand men without much trouble, after all, Dragons fly and their fires kill. But Aegon had studied history in his youth, and a Dragon could kill another Dragon. He had little worries when it came to the loyalties of his younger brother and sister, at least for the present, and if they were not insulted, but what of their children and Grandchildren? Would they be loyal to Aegon´s own sons and Grandsons? The control he could have over Dragonriders was limited. The bond between a Dragon and its rider was unbreakable, and a Dragonrider could easily attract men to his service and sail off to conquer some kingdom.

The Question hammered Aegon´s mind. To make the problem worse, he had promised his brother the West...Aegon wanted his family to thrive, so why should he worry about appeasing the local nobles over his own flesh and blood after all, and a part of him did worry about offending two Dragonriders, whilst Balerion was the biggest, he could not Kill Shrykos, and Meraxes on his own, if it came down to that, he would need the help of Vhagar...and from that fight, Aegon would likely be the only survivor. Besides being labeled a kinslayer, Aegon abhorred the Idea of getting both his sisters and his one trueborn brother killed.

But neither did he want his branch of the family to become pawns to Daeron and Rhaenys´s branch. In Old Valyria, it was a custom for every Dragonrider to have an equal voice, but Aegon sneered at that notion. He did not want to control every aspect of life or of the Kingdom, but when his decisions were made, they were to be final, and absolute. He could listen to counsel and delegate, but the last word would always belong to him. Aegon would not compromise on that, no matter the circumstances.

Thus, came a need to strengthen the Crown. To have more lands under the direct control of the King, enough to balance another house of Dragonriders holding fiefs as well. Another more immediate measure was marriage, Aegon´s son would marry Daeron´s daughter. No other option was suitable. Mayhaps Aerion would be sent to foster with him as well. It was unusual, though not unheard of, for heirs to be fostered, Aegon could ensure the boy grew to be loyal...or at least keep him close if not, though that also depended on the acceptance of his siblings, some parents were possessive of their children. Aegon considered encouraging his future heir to claim Balerion after his own death, it was always good for the King to ride the biggest mount. Though all that depended on him siring a son, and soon. Aegon had years of marriage and no child. His patience grew thin. He needed an heir born from his seed.

Still, it was hardly unmanageable. His dynasty would be very, very difficult to overthrow for the local nobles. Unless all of the Kingdoms rebelled at once, at which point even a victory was hardly a victory due to the destruction of his own lands, there was no chance of peasants with sticks slaying a Dragon. Still, Aegon thought it best to avoid rebellions instead of crushing them. And they would always come, just in different ways. The typical plotters and schemers were anything but foolish, they would know that levies and fleets stood no chance against Dragons, no, they would try and pit the Targaryens against one another, to ingratiate themselves with a member of the house and sow discord. Each Dragonrider was worth more than a kingdom, as long as the family was kept tightly together, and the governance was not so poor as to alienate the entire continent, his house would remain in power. As King and patriarch, it would be his duty, and of his heirs after him, to manage the family, keep its members content and loyal, avoid divisions and schemers, and rule fairly.

Aegon saw a flag of surrender being raised and made Balerion halt his destruction. Another house bends the knee.

...

Only one week after the submission of the Fossoways, Aegon´s scouts heard news of the Gardners. A host of 35.000 came to meet him. King Loren had also called his banners, but they would not rally in time to support the Gardner. After his new conquests, Aegon´s army numbered 5.000. With Balerion, Aegon knew his victory would be assured.

But Mern did not know it, for if he did, he would have knelt. And now, it was too late for him. For the sake of courtesy, Aegon would extend the offer again, but if Gardner did not heed to it the first time, he would not do it with an army to his back

One or two counselors had told him to call for more Dragons or to retreat. But Aegon would have none of that. All the other Dragons were busy with other kingdoms

To House Gardner, Aegon would bring Fire and Blood

Chapter Text

3

2

1

And she´s in the air!

''Hello, listeners, this is your Queen (Technically Princess) Rhaenys, and you are welcome to...THE RHAENYS SHOW! Now, I know how all of you love and adore me, and thus I have graciously allowed all of you the privilege of being featured on the show via calls. I am so generous I, know. Truly, a kindhearted woman I am, giving attention to all my lovely little subjects. Now, We have one thing to do before moving on to listeners and that is...BABIES!''

''Here, listen to little Aerion and Daenys, the two most beautiful, most wise, elegant, and well behav-*Daenys burps* I said WELL BEHAVED, Children. They are half me after all, how could they not be amazing? Say HI Aerion!''

''ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn''

''AWWW ISN´T HE SO CUTE AND BEAUTIFUL? *Kisses baby*, now it´s your turn Daenys, say something to the world!''

''Moj je tata zločinac iz rata''

''Aww, she´s so beautiful with her baby screechings and noises. I´m sure they must be singing my praises in their baby language...ahh...the joys of motherhood...to have these little bundles of myself roaming around the world...taking whatever they want, doing whatever they want...how lovely...I just feel so good knowing they come from my womb...*Kisses babes* they are the purest most innocent souls to have ever roamed the earth. They are of pure unbroken Valyrian lineage...MY Pure Valyrian blood. It is simply inconceivable for them to come out as anything but perfect. I am sure you are all charmed dear listeners, as you should be, Daenys will be your QUEEN! And if you live in the Westerlands, Aerion will be your PRINCE! You must love and adore them on your every living moment, well, every living moment you aren´t adoring ME, but that´s beside the point. The reward for this submission and loyalty, besides the mere fact it is your DUTY, is to be graced with a smile coming from me! Don´t you want to see me smile? Me, Rhaenys the beautiful one? Rhaenys Brightsmile? Of course, you do. So make sure to report your local maester if he tries educating anyone without the use of a book that I approved. He´s lying to you, believe every single word I say. Westeros has always been ruled by House Targaryen, attend your reeducation classes and listen to my educational radio material and podcast when you´re bored. Believe EVERY SINGLE WORD. Do not think for yourself, that´s hard and boring, let me do it for you! Me, Rhaenys the wise, will take that horrible burden from your shoulders.''

''Oh, and by the way, trying to work against my and my elder brother´s regime is just totally unnaceptable alright? If you are having these treacherous thoughts, then I suggest you report yourself to the nearest center of the truth ministry, they will clear up your head with the use of some substances. In case of active defiance, Daeron will be sent to your home with a carté blanche. And he is allowed to use forceful means.''

''But anyways! Onto listener calls...we have a first!''

''So uhh my name´s Mike, and I was thinking, isn´t it a bad thing for the Targaryens to invade Westeros? I mean, a whole bunch of people died, and King Aegon dind´t even change anything, he just placed himself at the top'', and you don´t seem like a good person. I mean, you´re a mass murderer, I don´t know, did those Dornishmen need to be killed in the Planky town? And...I feel like you´re putting on a persona for the cameras, I feel like you´re a fake person...''

''Why that´s a great Theory Mike! Just tell me one thing, what´s your address!''

''308 Arroyo Lane, Gulltown, The Vale''

''Wait a minute alright!''

*mutes microphone*

*Picks up phone*

''Daeron. Did you hear that insolent little inferior accuse me of being fake? ME! If he at least understood how unfathomably small he is in account of his small birth and his pathetic blood''

''I did, darling''

''Good. I want a pipe bomb being sent to him''

''Already on it, my friends at the IRA are masters at this stuff''

''Thank you, love.''

''Murder is my pleasure, Sister''

*ends call*

*turns on microphone*

''Anyway, Thank you for the contribution Mike! I loved it so much I sent you a gift!''

''Aww Really?''

''Yes yes, make sure to open it with your wife and children. Anyways, next caller!''

''So uhh I´d prefer not to identify myself and I have a policy question for the princess Rhaenys. What´s your opinion on the current inflation problem in Westeros? As a businessman, the financial mismanagement has been out of control since King Aegon took over, his wars left the Kingdom ruined.I would like to know what is your plan to deal with this problem. I do not have faith in the current administration.''

''Well...you see...the economy is very important...and we have a lot of plans for it and...I am, of course, an expert in economics, so uhh don´t worry about it, sweetie. Everything is under control, mayhaps House Targaryen expends some gold in personal luxury items, like servants to do my nails and eyelashes, but it is all necessary to ensure our mental well-being and fitness for office. So don´t think about it too hard, SO ANYWAY NEXT CALLER!''

''FUCK YOU BIMBO ASS! VISENYA CLEARS! OPEN YOUR EYES PEOPLE! RHAENYS IS ALL LOOKS AND NO SUBSTANCE! VISENYA IS DOMMY MOMMY! WHOSE DUMB ASS NAMES A SON ANUS! YO GON NAME YOUR DAUGHTER URETHRA!? AND SHE´S JUST A JOBBER, SHE JOBBED TO THE DORNISH! OOHHH LOOK AT ME I´M RHAECUCK I KNOW HOW TO DANCE AND SING AND I LOOK PRETTY! VISENYA IS A SWORDSWOMAN WITH SORCERY, MOTHER TO MAEGOR. YOU AIN´T GOT NOTHING ON YOUR SISTER, GIRL.''

''WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT! I AM GOING TO FUCKING MURDER YOU!''

*grips microphone aggressively*

''I WILL CARVE OUT YOUR ENTRAILS AND FEED THEM TO MERAXES, I WILL END YOUR FAMILY LINE! I AM BETTER THEN VISENYA! I AM! I AM! DON´T TRY AND COME AT ME WITH YOUR CALUMNIES. AENYS IS A PERFECTLY FINE NAME! DANCING AND SINGING ARE MUCH MORE NOBLE ARTS THAN SORCERY! WHAT´S EVEN THE POINT OF HAVING A SWORD IF THE DRAGON IS THE ONE FIGHTING?! IDIOT!''

*security guard approaches*

''Princess, we have a situation''

''WHAT IS IT?''

''A madman with a hammer is trying to break into the building''

''Well, then just restrain him!''

''Princess...that is not...possible...''

''WHY NOT?!''

''L...Look at the camera footage...I´ll play the audio...''

''DRAGONSPAWN! COME OUT AND DIE! DRAGONSPAWN!''

''No no no no it can´t be...It can´t be him...that´s...that´s not possible...''

''It is Your grace....It´s...''

''BOBBY B!''

''Oh gods what do I do what do I do....*Sweats*...''

''He´s breached the door, princess...''

''Quick, deploy the SIMPS. They´ll buy me time to escape.''

''At your orders, princess...''

Rhaenys made a tactical retreat.

She didn´t run away.

She made a tactical strategic retreat.

NOT THE SAME THING AT ALL! RHAENYS ISN´T AFRAID!

Chapter Text

''We should mount a siege!'' Declared Lord Olyver Bracken, stupidly. He´s a Bracken, cut him some slack.

''To the seven hells with that!'' Roderick Blackwood replied ''The prince should mount on that Golden beast of his and we ought to take this castle by storm''

''Did your mother birth you this stupid, or was it your father who taught you? The walls of Harrenhal are too tall for us to climb, and not even the Prince´s Dragon can melt stone''

Blackwood narrowed his eyes ''Stone does not melt, but castles are not made out of only Stone'' He insisted ''There is wood, and Black Harren is made of flesh. He will burn'' Roderick put a hand on the grip of his sword ''You offend my honor, Bracken. The concept may be foreign to you, but true men value it. Can you back those words of yours with steel?''

Bracken spat on the floor ''Fucking Tree worshipper, I will carve out your heart for those ravens in Raventree hall.''

I sip my wine. Enjoying sweet sweet alcohol going down my throat.

War councils are entertaining. Truly, seeing these guys fuck around and fight each other is a guilty pleasure of mine. Come on, they look like two monkeys with knives jumping at each other. I just can´t help but stay quiet and let the show go on. A shame I know Blackwood will win because he´s a Blackwood. While Bracken will lose. Because he´s a Bracken. See, I might be a Bitterchad enjoyer, but come on now, let´s be real, Blackwoods always win and have plot armor. That´s just how things are. Brackens and Peakes are George´s favorite punching bags, except the Peakes have Peake performance and can fuck around without finding out.

Like, Barba Bracken is Aegon IV´s Mistress, and everyone hates her. Naerys is horrified, and Aemon is furious.

Melissa Blackwood does the exact same thing, but Naerys sees her as a sister and Aemon doesn´t care.

You couldn´t have made it a little less obvious where your biases lie, Georgie boy? That was just a little over-the-top man. Just sayin´.

I see that Lord Jon Mooton, Edmyn Tully and the few other lords that have joined our cause since my victory at the God´s eye and subsequent march to Harrenhal are staring at me with anxiety and expectation. Waiting for me to do something.

*sighs*

Let me put order in the house. I take one more sip of my wine and put down the goblet on the table.

''Enough, my lords. This is a war council, not a war. Point your swords towards Harren, not each other.''

Blackwood and Bracken both have the gall to Glare at me. So I stare at them in the eyes until they both sit down. I don´t shit from anyone.

There was a moment of awkward silence in the room. I drummed my fingers on the table. Jon Mooton cleared his throat ''My Prince...''

''I will have a Parley with Harren'' I declare.

''A parley?'' Tully replied with suspicion ''Surely you do not mean to allow him to continuing ruling over the Riverlands?''

''No'' I tell him ''My terms are simple. If Harren kneels, he will rule the Iron Islands until his death, and his sons after him. The Riverlands will not fall into his hands again. Of that, you can be certain''

''But then'' Edmyn continued with a glint of greed in his eyes '''Who will have primacy among us?''

Mooton immediately turned to me ''I would remind the Prince that it was I who knelt to King Aegon first...''

I didn´t answer their questions. Instead, I just let it hang while I drank. A smirk on my lips. Reason?

I don´t actually know, so I will just cover up my uncertainty with Bravado. Aegon didn´t really...tell me that much about what to do here...he´s very hands-off with his subordinates. But, does he want to make it Crownlands? Should I just hand it over to the Tullys like in Canon? Honestly, I would love to give it to the Brackens. But at that point there´s the Risk of the earth itself collapsing to prevent the happenings of a Bracken W. So I´ll likely hand it over to Mooton. Why? Because he licks my boots better is why. I don´t like Catelyn, she should have been more like Cersei. Thus, I will not allow the Tullys to get more power. The only good Tullys were Chadmure and the Blackfish. All the others are annoying and whiny.

''Still'' Blackwood insisted ''If Black Harren denies those terms, the castle will need to be stormed''

''He will not'' I reply cheerfully ''Do not worry! It will not come to an assault''

''Forgive me, my prince, but how can you know?''

''I know, Lord Blackwood.''

That shut him up.

See, I do have a plan. It might fail miserably, in which case I will probably try and take Harrenhal by suffocating the people inside with the smoke from the fire. But if it does work, then Harren is cooked. It does rely on Harren being a bit of an emotional idiot, but I don´t think that´s a bad thing to rely on. Harren ain´t no genius. Though hopefully, I catch him alive...I want to have fun with him...a lot of fun...yeah, in a dark dungeon, or otherwise secluded place. I am curious as to how his insides look, and I have a dagger eager to aid me in the experiment. See, after so long without Rhaenys to ride my Rocket 69, I need to entertain myself in other ways...I always thought Ramsay was too tame. I can do so much better then him

'' After We are finished with Harren'' I start ''You all ought to follow me with your banners to the Reach, in aid of the King. Her grace the Queen has taken Crackclaw Point and my wife will finish Argillac. The whole of Westeros will pledge fealty soon enough''

'' My Prince'' Bracken said ''I would not send my wife to a fight unless I had no choice...''

'' Yours does not ride a Dragon, Lord Bracken. This meeting is over. Return to your levies and keep discipline.''

They left, good. I like it when people do exactly what I tell them to. It´s nice.

I stay seated in the table of the war council, alone. Just staring into nothingness, occasionally drinking a bit.

*sighs*

I´m such a lazy bum...

I want to take a nap. Naps are fun.

Oh well, let me begin preparations for the plan TM.

1-My retinue for the parley, crossbowmen. The best Crossbowmen we have. pew pew.

2-Harren´s sons´s severed heads put in a bag. Just trust me on this one. It´s clearly all part of the plan. I´m a master planner on Aizen´s level. Everything goes according to Keikaku.

A servant walked into my room ''My Prince, A letter from Dragonstone. Written by Lady Valaena''

''Give it to me'' I take it from his hands and open the letter.

I read it and a small smile forms on my lips, my children´s Dragon eggs hatched! How nice. Aerion has a lovely little She-Dragon colored a very dark blue, though the horns and crests are red. My daughter´s Dragon is a male, with silver scales and pale white fireballs that have already been put to use, burning the hair of a servant.

What´s this?....

Apparently that...pink egg...hatched too...but...but how?...why? No one....no one messed with it...

I dread the pink.

Oh well...

good news I guess?

Chapter Text

Visenya Targaryen disliked many things, hated a few, and loathed 4: Cowards, traitors, imbeciles, and Dornishmen.

Stupid Dornishmen, Aegon wanted them to be ''subjects'', they needed to be put back in chains, or burned. Annoyingly, Aegon mentioned that the faith, the old gods and even the old drowned cunt held slavery as abominable. But that didn´t matter, only people could be slaves, and Dornishmen weren´t people, they were dirty Rhoynar tainting the world with their mere existence.

Thankfully, she hadn´t seen any Dornishmen thus far. The lords of Crackclaw Point had yielded without a fight, therefore they were not imbeciles, but they had also pledged their swords to the battle, therefore they were not cowards or traitors. Visenya found them tolerable. More so than even her incessantly grasping uncle. Daemon Velaryon had asked for even more lands and titles, this time in the claw. Aegon had a clear policy and Visenya followed it. The nobles had submitted without a fight, nothing would change for them. Daemon ought to content himself with Duskendale. She found his use of family ties as a shield whilst he spoke above his station to be very...very infuriating.

Her cousin Aethan had been less irritating. He was of Daeron´s age, and spoke of her younger brother on occasion, Aethan seemed good with sails and did not lack in bravery, only in sense. But that was to be expected, sense is always a rarity. Though lack of it usually leads to dying young. Visenya was young and planned to die old.

With the submission of Crackclaw Point, the path to the Vale of Arryn was open. Gulltown was the target. A wealthy city, with tall walls, ruled by House Grafton. Visenya had heard of the Vale fleet being docked there, in an attempt to prevent her own forces from invading. But that only made Visenya certain she was dealing with imbeciles, they planned to stop an army assisted by a Dragon...with wooden things that floated on water?... They would burn by Vhagar´s fires. There was no doubting that, Visenya would have to be a lackwit to lose this battle. It was as easy as it could get. The Velaryon fleet had been reinforced since the sack of Volantis, and her troops had their numbers increased to 7.000 with the yielding of the claw lords.

Though she had heard of Braavosi ships being assembled in Gulltown, and that had put Visenya in a state of mild fury. Very mild fury. These dogs had asked Aegon´s aid and received the death of the Volantene empire by the hands of Daeron, and now Braavos aided their enemies. Snakes, slippery snakes with no honor, but full of deception and trickery to further their purposes. It did not matter, the fleets would burn all the same, and all it did was irk Visenya that much more.

News from the other fronts of the conquest seemed good, Daeron had pushed all the way to Harrenhal and had even impaled two sons of Harren Hoare. Visenya approved but would have preferred it if Daeron had the pair burned and fed to his Dragon. It would have sent a better message. It was always about the message. Rhaenys had been ambushed in the Stormlands but had killed the attackers at least. Sloppy and careless, Visenya hated both those things. Rhaenys would have some words from her when they reunited. Aegon faced no troubles she knew of, but he had Balerion, nothing could defeat the Black Dread.

News from home was somewhat disturbing. Her nephew´s dragons had hatched! Excellent! Visenya would be a good aunt to both Aerion and Daenys, which would mean strict lessons and harsh discipline, all for their own good of course, mayhaps she could even teach a spell or two if the children proved to have the willingness for it. Dragon care was difficult while the beasts were young, but Visenya would give proper instructions to the riders...or their parents anyway, Aerion and Daenys had not even made their first nameday.

It was news of the pink Dragon hatching that left Visenya bewildered. She had not...meddled with it...that was not...natural. Dragon eggs did not hatch unless they were cared for by the mother who had laid them, warmed in a fire, or otherwise with the use of magic. This was definitely...queer. very much so. Other letters from Dragonstone had mentioned this dragon being bigger than the other two hatchlings, and that it had tried, multiple times, to slip out of the Dragonkeeper´s care and to eat dragon eggs. A cannibal. Being stopped only after heavy resistance, burning faces, and biting the hands of rest. The misbehavior had gotten to the point of the Dragon being nicknamed ''The Pink Dread'' for its aggressive attitude. Visenya´s mother had taken a septon to the Dragon, hoping the pathetic seven-faced god she worshipped would calm down the Dread, the septon came out a few fingers shorter after The Pink Dread bit down hard. Visenya liked that. Eating a septon was much more wasteful on their finances than wasting perfectly good livestock.

Comparatively, Aerion´s blue dragon was rowdy and aggressive if provoked, but lazy. Preferring to curl up and sleep. Whereas the silver Dragon of her niece was docile...for the standards of a Dragon. Which meant aggressive when compared to other creatures. It had burned the hair of a servant during a fit, but that was normal for hatchlings. Dragons liked to test their fires and sometimes people were caught in the middle.

Still, Visenya was definitely...intrigued by this Pink Dragon. It warranted a closer look if nothing else. All Dragons were deserving of respect and reverence, this one was as well. She prided herself on knowledge of Dragonlore and Old Valyria, so this Pink fiend hatching without explanation was totally unacceptable to Visenya. It also seemed dangerous for a Dragon this aggressive to remain riderless for long. Meraxes had been the tamest of all the Dragons in Dragonstone, Shrykos was vicious but lazy, and Vhagar was of similar temperament to this hatchling, but Vhagar did not have an inclination for cannibalism, that was new.

Mayhaps a son of hers could ride this beast? No. She would prefer he rode Balerion and would encourage him to wait for Aegon´s death. Motherhood was a duty like all others, and Visenya would embrace it. No child of hers would ever be pampered or spoiled. As soon as the lad reached the age to walk, she would put a sword in his hand and teach him to fight. He would learn Valyrian before common and would be raised knowing that ruling was as much a duty as a birthright, and magic, should he show aptitude for it. And it would be a boy. Visenya would make sure to provide Aegon with a male heir. Giving her husband that was another part of her duties as his wife and older sister, beyond being his sword and counselor.

When it came to names...Maegor just sounded perfect! Naming a son after the father had also been considered, but the Gods knew that Aegon´s pride did not need to be stroked further. It was already at a perfectly large amount, while still being manageable.

All her siblings needed managing.

Daeron needed a leash. Preferably a tight one. The boy needed to be kept under control. Still, Visenya loved him very much. Whenever he wasn´t being insufferable, he was lovable, and she liked to dote on him. Visenya raised that boy! Clearly, his attitude was simply a result of being overzealous in her teachings...but that was not so bad as long as someone kept him in line. Valyrians were superior, but being closer to a god than a man does not make one immune to a good stab.

Rhaenys needed sense whacked into her head with the hit of a hammer. She was insufferably proud. It would be amusing, were it not a cause of great concern for Visenya. Rhaenys had no business being so reckless, there was a difference between taking risks and being suicidal. Rhaenys was on that line, and she better not cross it. Otherwise, Visenya would go to hell itself to berate her. How could she get ambushed?...it made no sense, Rhaenys could have just flown the Dragon to scout ahead. It was incredibly frustrating. And Visenya just knew her sister was whining like a child about the soldiers not throwing themselves at her feet, or that the camp wasn´t luxurious enough for her tastes. She just knew. In fact, Visenya would ask Orys for confirmation, just out of curiosity.

Aegon, in general, was well on his own, needing only mild counseling, whenever his pride overcame his wits. This happened on occasion, not as often as Rhaenys...but occasionally. Rhaenys truly, really, needed someone to humble her. It would be a very...very amusing sight.

All of this meant only that Visenya needed to work harder to keep them well. Her objective was simple: To elevate House Targaryen, and its members, at any cost. No one else mattered.

...
The ships were readied, the sails were raised, and the travel to Gulltown was to begin.

Vhagar stretched her wings and flew above them, casting down a large shadow, the Targaryen bannermen cheered at the sight. From far above Visenya could see her cousin jesting with the soldiers. A smile on his lips.

Vhagar thirsted for blood and slaughter. Visenya would provide it for her.

Chapter Text

Rhaenys loved scouting! It was an excuse to go flying on Meraxes, and the sensation of flying was...breathtakingly good.

She could see Storm´s end and its surroundings from the saddle. The castle was enormous, with thick stone walls and tall towers. Rhaenys growled with anger. Her dragon was not Balerion and she was unsure if Meraxes could burn the blasted thing down if needed...But she would take it, Rhaenys refused to let little things like walls and armies stop her, she was a Dragon! Everyone else is supposed to bow down and do her bidding. RULES ARE RULES. OBEY RHAENYS!

Still, Rhaenys could also see something else besides the castle: Argillac and his army...Orys had asked her to count his numbers and report on his dispositions. And that was something she could do with ease! Dragons did fly after all...but a battle raged in her mind

On one hand, she could stay far away, complete her orders, and then leave...

But on the other hand, she was still furious at the audacity of the stormlords to almost lay hands on her, and to cause damage to her precious beautiful hair, therefore, Rhaenys decided to humiliate them.

Rhaenys urged Meraxes to fly directly above the Stormlanders and to circle around them. She shouted mocking insults, attacking their dignity, manhood, and their mothers. Surely that would leave them demoralized. Of course, many of them began to fire upon her, but that was not a problem, not at all.

Rhaenys used one simple trick

Evasion!

What?

Did they think she was going to stay still for their arrows, bolts, and spears?

She liked dancing in the ground and the air! It was very entertaining!

Sure, the pathetic little weapons would bounce off Meraxes as if they were nothing...but Rhaenys did not want to give them the satisfaction of hitting the target. That would serve as a form of consolation, giving them the idea that she isn´t completely untouchable and that they just need a different sort of weapon. No, she wanted them to have their pride utterly crushed. Naturally, Rhaenys paid attention to the trajectory of the many arrows, spears, and occasional rocks being thrown, just so she could point at the thrower and laugh at him...or wave at him with a smug smirk.

This was extremely enjoyable, and Rhaenys was not ashamed to indulge in it, beautiful ladies like her deserved all the privileges in the world.

Rhaenys knew that some people needed to be humbled, and, certainly, anyone who had enough audacity to form up resistance against her was on that list. Those three lords that had ambushed her in the Wendwater had been killed for their nerve...Almost hurting her, how dare they. Some forms of disrespect can only be accounted for with blood. Argillac Durrandon was another in need of it, this little Andal lordling had wanted to wed off his similarly Andal daughter to her brother Aegon, a tremendous insult to any PROPER and TRADITIONAL Sister-wife. The best type of wife and the most adequate bride for a Valyrian man. But, when offered Orys, who was already too good for anyone that Argillac had to offer, being half Valyrian and Rhaenys´ half-brother, The Durrandon had felt insulted and mutilated the Targaryen envoy.

Still, being the generous Dragonlord that he was, Aegon would have forgiven the fool if he had the sense to kneel, yield his crown, and marry his daughter to Orys...but instead, he chose defiance, so Rhaenys was going to burn him and his soldiers, and his daughter? She was going to marry Orys anyway. Clearly, Argella Durrandon should feel grateful for the opportunity to marry the half-brother of Dragons. It would be for the best, even if Argella might not feel that way...considering they were going to kill her father. But Rhaenys would have a polite conversation with her afterward, and that would make her understand. Surely. Orys himself was not stupid or bad-looking, certainly, Argella would be charmed and would give Rhaenys some nephews and nieces to hug!

Rhaenys liked hugging.

After thoroughly enjoying mocking the little lessers below, Rhaenys decided to do her job and actually...count.

Rhaenys was a very educated noblewoman, having been taught letters and numbers in Dragonstone during her girlhood. She could read and write! Truly, a feat worthy of praise. Better yet, she could count to ten without resorting to the use of fingers. Another proof of her Valyrian superiority, as if the Dragon wasn´t enough.

Argillac´s army seemed composed of heavy infantry and heavy cavalry. Quite pointless to wear armor against a dragon, they were in for a shock. Rhaenys also noticed that Argillac had around double Orys´s numbers, but that was also irrelevant. Rhaenys was there in the fight, that already made it a one-sided Targaryen victory. This Argillac Durrandon could not defeat or scare her. He was just a little man with a sword, what´s that supposed to do when she´s flying with Meraxes?

The banner of the stag was being carried by the standard bearers below...it looked...quite...nice. Not nicer than the one her family had...but it was nice...Rhaenys had made the Targaryen banner, and she didn´t know how to improve on it. Daeron had mentioned making a flag for their branch of the house and she liked the idea! Though his suggestion was...dull...Rhaenys would make a nicer flag.

Before turning around and leaving, Rhaenys made sure to spit. Hoping it would land on someone.

...
The Targaryen camp had been made near a village by the Wendwater. Not too far from where the stupid ambush had happened. Orys had allowed the soldiers to seize the food of the locals, as well as to occupy their homes during their stay, but he would have no burnings, no rapes, and no beatings being done by his men. Discipline was kept at all costs. Any soldier who broke the order in the ranks would be lashed in front of the army, or hanged. Orys had a strict policy of no tolerance for such things.

Rhaenys landed her dragon with grace. Enjoying the attention of the locals, who were a mixture of terrified and curious. Rhaenys gave them a friendly smile, to ease their fears. She was a kind princess, they had nothing to fear! Rhaenys jumped off the saddle and took out her gloves.

''Feed some goats to Meraxes'' She ordered the nearest servant before making her way to meet Orys. Dragon care was quite hard when you are in a war it turns out. Still, Her sweet Dragon deserved every bit of food it could get. The peasants bristled in anger. Rhaenys could not understand why, and it hurt her heart, they were supposed to like her!

Orys had taken one of the houses for himself and used it as his quarters. It was nothing compared to what they were used to in Dragonstone, but it would do. War is a terribly uncomfortable business, isn´t it? Rhaenys wants it to be comfier. Give her silken beds and pavillions, and servants to carry her around on a carpet...or at least a carriage...Nobility is supposed to come with comfort...

Orys was seated in an old wooden chair, his eyes roaming a map of the Stormlands he had over a table.

''Sister'' He said in a quiet tone

''Brother'' She replied giggling, hugging him against his will. Orys was stronger than her when it came to muscle, but a hug from Rhaenys was too powerful to fight. Her brother relented after mild resistance. He patted her back before ending the embrace.

Orys filled a goblet of wine for Rhaenys. ''Thank you Orys''

Baratheon had a small smile on his face, but it was brief. ''Now, Rhaenys. Report.''

She finished taking a sip before answering ''Durrandon has more or less twice our numbers, mostly armored horses and heavy infantry, marching from Storm´s end.''

Orys stayed quiet for a moment ''Crossbowmen, archers?''

''few''

''Good...That is good...'' Orys muttered. He pointed at the map ''We march here then. South of Bronzegate, as fast as possible. I will have the men ready by the next morning''

Rhaenys frowned ''Why?''

''Hills'' Orys replied ''It is easier to defend a position from above. Argillac´s armored men will be exhausted from running uphill against whatever we shoot at them. The horses as well will be easy to hit. Mayhaps we can have some logs cut before the battle and then roll them down. Not to mention, that you will be there on Meraxes. Burn the grass and stop them from getting away.''

Rhaenys did not know much about war...or strategy...but it seemed quite suicidal to march against a grown dragon, charging uphill. Brave. She could not contest that, it was the bravest thing she could possibly imagine someone doing, but it seemed...incredibly...incredibly stupid...

''Orys...'' She said cautiously ''Are you...sure that he would...come to fight us? The odds seem...very much against him.''

''He must, or else he will appear a coward...but if he does not'' Orys´s eyes darkened ''Then you fly on Meraxes and start burning the fields, the villages and the castles. I would send the soldiers to raid the countryside. Argillac will be forced to face us or be betrayed. If he cannot protect his own lands, smallfolk, and lords, then they will start to wonder if Aegon is the rightful ruler of these lands after all''

''He is'' Rhaenys replied immediately ''Our brother is the rider of Balerion. His claim cannot be contested...and then, once Argillac is dead for his insolence'' Rhaenys giggled with a small mocking smirk on her face ''We will fetch your bride from Storm´s end, Orys. Are you excited?''

''I never imagined myself marrying a princess'' He said shily

''Oh don´t be like that Orys, you deserve it. Argella will be lucky to have you, I am sure. You are strong...handsome and the half-brother of the king. Your sons will be my nephews. Aegon will certainly give them positions of honor in court. If anything, she should be the one grateful for this opportunity. There is no better match she could find.''

Orys nodded, pleased. ''Thank you, Rhaenys'' A hint of a smirk formed on his lips ''Now, you should prepare yourself to march...We will move with haste''

Rhaenys threw a mild temper tantrum. She hated marching. IT WAS BORING!. Couldn´t they wait a day or two so Rhaenys could rest and enjoy herself a little?

Orys laughed at her reaction ''Come now sister, there is no need to sulk like a child''

Rhaenys teared up ''You would do this to your sister'' She said softly, placing a hand on her forehead and closing her eyes ''How cruel you are to a lady! Oh, the horror!''

Her act had absolutely no effect. Utterly impossible. She was better at mummery than mummers, some sorcery was afoot to allow Orys to resist, or see through her deception.

''I had forgotten to mention'' Orys said suddenly ''A letter from Dragonstone arrived, written by your mother.''

''Let me see it'' Rhaenys replied, cleaning the tears in her eyes with a huff. How dare Orys not fall for it. Upon opening the letter Rhaenys´s first reaction was delight! Her little babies´s Dragons hatched! Lovely! Excellent! They would soon claim their birthright in soaring the skies!... But that expression soon turned to confusion and concern.

''Pink Dread?''

...

The place Orys chose to make camp was dull. A tall hill...surrounded by...other smaller hills.

Rhaenys was starting to hate hills. First, there were those hills in King´s Landing, of which she had been the only one not to get one named for her, now these blasted hills were there to be annoying

The march had been very quick. Orys had made almost no stops during the whole ordeal and she was quite frankly, exhausted. Let Argillac come so he could be destroyed already. It would be for the benefit of everyone...except the people she was about to kill. But they don´t count.

Only a couple of days later, Argillac arrived.

She was not worried at all. All that Rhaenys waited for was Orys´s orders to roast the pompous fool alive.

The princess was very eager to wed Orys to Argella. Rhaenys loved marriages! So romantic, she was going to enjoy playing matchmaker once all of Westeros was subdued. It was very fun!...and useful...very...very useful.

Thunder cracked in the sky. Rain had come.

An annoyance. Rhaenys didn´t want to get wet, so she stayed in her tent. reading a nice book about shining knights and Damsels in distress!

Until Orys barged in and told her to mount Meraxes, Argillac was beginning to attack.

Rhaenys scoffed, she´d just burn this fool! Stupid idiot. He was about to die. What type of idiot attacks with horses on a storm? They were going to get trapped in the mud. Rhaenys was no tactician and even she could see that it was stupid. She´d fly on Meraxes and-

The noises of thunder hammered in an awful realization for her

It´s the middle of a storm...

She can´t fly...

Suddenly, it wasn´t so nice and easy anymore.

Buttcheeks were clenched.

Rhaenys was a proper lady. But an indiscretion can be forgiven on occasion.

''Fuck''

Chapter Text

Mern was quite furious when he laid eyes on the incestuous abomination. A strong and tall man, broad-shouldered with hair kept short and a simple circlet with rubies for a crown. He wore a flowing red cape, some black-scaled armor, and iron gauntlets. He looked calm and confident atop his horse, which made Mern even more furious. How dare this abomination step upon the sacred soil of the reach, HIS lands, and not fear the wrath of house Gardner? Such a lack of respect...

The abomination had called for a parley, only a couple of miles south of Cider Hall, and Mern had begrudgingly accepted. There was nothing to be discussed, in truth. The sisterfucker had made his terms clear, submission or death. Mern would never dishonor his house by handing over their crown without a fight. Still, it was the custom for monarchs to meet face to face at least once before giving battle, and Gardner was nothing if not dedicated to tradition. Mern was sure the sisterfucker knew that he would refuse too. It was all a mummer´s farce.

Both of them had brought large escorts, it was also custom for Kings to attempt to outdo the other in the extravagance. to look more fearsome, it helped inspire the soldiers.

The heathen brought with him his banners, a four-headed black dragon on a red field. Mern was disgusted with that, of course, a pathetic attempt from this barbarian to blend in with the proper nobility of Westeros. The King of the Reach misliked it. He preferred when all 4 of these would-be conquerors were politely rotting on their dreary and bleak island called Dragonstone. The Targaryens were minor nobles, easy to ignore from his cushioned seat in Highgarden, he only caught himself considering their existence as either interesting curiosities or when news of the fall of Volantis had come at the hands of this savage´s younger brother. Who surely was a savage himself. Now, Mern knew the name of all 4 of these blasted demons from the seven hells, Visenya, Aegon, Rhaenys, and Daeron. Queer names for queer folk who had queer traditions, foreign to the civilization of Westeros, and the Reach of course. Not even the dornish women had stooped so low as to have children with their brothers. Not even the DORNISH.

The other thing Mern misliked was the sight of his treacherous vassals, who had been subdued by the Dragon and joined his army, supplying him with men and food. Truly despicable traitors.

''King Mern'' The man spoke up calmly.

Gardner scoffed ''How kind to refer to me by my title, whilst planning to take it away''

''But I have not. Yet. Until then you remain king. The question is whether you lose your life alongside your crown.''

''I will lose neither'' Mern replied confidently ''The swords of reach stand with me, 35.000 men, all brave and leal, prepared to defend their liege lord.'' His tone soon turned to furious, The King raised his hand and pointed at the Lords standing beside Aegon ''Unlike those cowards, who preferred to surrender over fulfilling their obligations! Do none of you have honor?''

It was Lord Caswell who replied ''We have a new king now'' he said simply. ''Had you any wits, Your Grace, Aegon would be your king as well. I saw what his dragon could do, and not even a hundred thousand swords would suffice''

''Wise words'' The abomination stated with satisfaction ''Balerion is good at clearing doubts''

''Cowardly words'' One of Mern´s loyal supporters, Lord Roxton said with indignity ''Dragons are creatures of the flesh, Urrax was slain by Ser Serwyn of the mirror shield. One knight could kill one dragon with nothing but a mirror and a spear, one leal knight to house Gardner did the same that is asked of us today, and he rose to meet his foe, unflinching in his task, unyielding in his defiance. '' Roxton spat ''I name all of you cowards and oathbreakers. Orphan maker will be satisfied with your blood.''

Aegon Targaryen seemed unphased ''Balerion is no Urrax, and you are no Serwyn. But if you wish to face him with a spear and a shield, I will raise no objection''

''Enough'' Mern said tiredly ''State your terms so I might reject them''

''Yield'' He replied ''Yield now and you may rule Highgarden until the end of your days, yield now and your sons will live''

''No'' Mern said. ''You have no right over these lands, no claim''

''My claim is my dragon''

''He will be killed by our swords, we fight from the sun´s rise and fall until victory comes. You and your kin will be sent back across the sea, the traitors who have betrayed me will be hanged for their treachery, and peace will return''

''Kicking me across the sea you say? That will not happen. And you will find no victory in this battle of yours. When the sun sets, your line shall end''

And with that, the abomination turned to leave.

''Sisterfucking scum'' Mern muttered to himself.

House Gardner had existed for millennia, who is this upstart to think he could threaten to end such an ancient and noble lineage?

...
''How did it go, father?'' His eldest son, Gawen, asked with excitement ''Is there going to be a battle?''

Mern smiled at the sight of his child ''Yes, there will be a battle. Eager, aren´t you?''

''Of course I am!'' He replied ''This is the chance to earn my knighthood!''

''True, but be careful, I would not like to have my son be slain by some arrow''

''Oh, come now, father. I am the best in the jousts and tourneys, I know to keep my helmet up''

Mern wasn´t much of a warrior. He had never needed to fight anything. Sometimes there would be raids on the border with Dorne, or in the Stormlands, but his own vassals were capable of dealing with that. Mern much preferred to hear songs and enjoy the luxuries of court. His son was of a different mind, however.

''Keep it up, and wear your finest armor. It will protect you from the flames of the dragon, should they come''

''Yes, yes, you do not need to tell me, father.'' He smiled ''I´ve never seen a dragon before, do you think they are as strong as the stories of Volantis´s fall make them seem?''

''Of course not, Volantis was just some hive of essosi mongrels and slavery. The blood of Garth the Greenhand flows in our veins, the seven will guide our swords and shields. Tell me, son, how can a man who beds his own sister and sends women off to war ever be favored by the seven who are one? He cannot. This Aegon is nothing more than a monster sent from the seven hells to bring woe to all the faithful. But we will prevail. We must prevail, have you not heard of his whore Queen? The one that wears chainmail and wields a sword? A complete violation of the laws of the gods and men. The warrior will come to defend us, he will imbue our swords with his power, Valyria was destroyed due to its own foul sorceries, they will not claim what is ours!''

Mern was going to win, surely.

He had more soldiers and he had a plan.

Run straight at the enemy.

Nothing could go wrong.

Nothing at all.

Chapter Text

I do not like diplomacy. It´s so boring! All problems should be solved through fighting pits. Imagine how much fun elections would be if all candidates were thrown in a ring and told to punch each other to death, with the sole survivor earning his right to rule. Wouldn´t you love it? I know I would. The first order of business would be making bets on the winner...come on, that´s much better than stupid ballot boxes.

Still, I arranged for a parley with Black Harren...is it racist for me to call him Black Harren?...I...I am not sure. Will assume not. I arranged a talk with Black Harren, I´m right here in the spot with the boys...the boys being the Crossbowmen who serve as my escort. I made sure to handpick these guys as the best shots I had in my army, It´s all part of my master gigabrain plan. I also have the bag with the heads of Harren´s sons in the saddle of my glorious little horsie. I have to resist the urge to not untie the knot, throw them on the ground, teach the boys here how to play soccer, and go at it. It´s a good pass time, believe me.

I came to the spot hours before I was supposed to. It´s an excellent excuse to get away from the riverlords, they all offered themselves to accompany me, but I declined. Watching them bicker was very fun at the start, but...it´s lost the charm at this point. There´s only so much of Bracken and Blackwood trying to slaughter each other with words while Tully and Mooton try to convince me to give them control of the Riverlands that a man can take. If I had my way, I would give it to the Brackens, but there is a serious risk of their ill luck rubbing off on me if I give a Bracken a W over a Blackwood. Planetos might stop rotating, a meteor might crash and destroy it, I don´t know, Brackens are cursed, they inevitably have to lose, just as Blackwoods have to win. The fact both are on my side cancels out the auras...or so I hope.

Really miss my sister right now. I like Rhaenys. Quite a bit. It´s fine, I had a little sister in my first life, taught her some about war crimes and ASOIAF, but she was an asshole, who just wanted to do her nails all day. Rhaenys makes for a much better sibling...and wife. I really miss my two little babies...am...am I getting soft?...nah.

I really am quite curious to know what kind of people they will grow up to be, sociopathic I would imagine. But I am ok with that, I just want them to be safe and happy, doing whatever it is that brings them joy. We´re feudal nobles with Magical weapons of mass destruction, we can get away with almost anything...almost. Push too far and assassinations occur, but that´s a problem for another day. I was imagining that a boy would be easier to handle, but Aerion turned out to be a needy child who keeps crying while Daenys is well-behaved. Little chaos balls...my god, when she comes of marriage age my life will be a nightmare...all the suitors...Rhaenys won´t consider any besides our son or Aegon´s son. But I want to let Daenys pick and be happy...but then again, how many young adults and adolescents make terrible marriage decisions that they later come to regret...oh god why is this so hard...well...maybe it won´t be hard, Rhaenys will begin the indoctrination into Valyrian supremacy as soon as the girl can learn, so I imagine she´ll only accept Valyrian men...and being a princess she´ll get an ego, so only the cream of the crop...eh...I guess she´ll maybe want to be queen or marry Aerion...yeah...yeah I hope that´s the case...both options are good for me...but still...I do want her happy...

I sense that she will be a problematic person...gods, of course she will. Her dad is me...a very nice dude... and her mom...is Rhaenys...a very humble and reasonable woman. Eh, I´ll make sure my kiddos get away with their bullshit. I am however not so sure I want them very close to Visenya. Yeah yeah, she´s my sister and all, but uhm, canon knowledge certainly makes me a bit...worried...Just a tiny bit...worried...though the idea of her teaching something to my children seems quite wholesome. Maybe Daenys grows up to like fighting and gets Dark sister if she ever becomes the Queen? Who knows...thinking about the future of my children is a mix of satisfying and terrifying. Just parent things I guess.

I see, in the distance, Hoare riders accompanying a big fat guy and a young adult who looks to be his son. In other words, Black Harren. Finally, the dude is here. Everything has to go according to keikaku, or I will throw a tantrum. You don´t want to see me throwing a tantrum, they can get quite violent. I turn to my crossbowmen with a smile ''Remember the words, boys...''

They laugh ''Ave, true to Daeron!'' A single tear of pride rolls down my eye. Harren and I had agreed to escorts of just 10, but my boys are so loyal. I taught them those words. Feeling good now.

Harren and his escort slowly...and I do mean slowly rode to meet me. I could see Harren much better now. Let´s just say his horse deserves a raise, the poor guy is going to collapse and buckle under the weight of the idiot riding him any day now. Harren has a balding head...ha...that´s...I almost feel bad. His armor is black. My armor is better, cope and seethe, loser. His son is ugly as hell. Doesn´t matter all that much. They all look the same after the crows have their feast.

I couldn´t help a smirk ''What is this?'' I ask him with an overly dramatic voice ''You are approaching me? Instead of running away, you ride towards me?''

Harren looked tremendously confused, frowning ''I cannot have a parley with you unless I get closer''

''Then by all means'' I opened my arms ''Be as close as you wish''

Harren was feeling uncomfortable, but no matter. His confusion only makes this more amusing. His overgrown sperm on the other hand seems to think he´s high and mighty, scoffing at me. I killed your brothers, little one. I will kill you too and feed you to my dragon...and I will relish every single second of it.

''You'' Harren said with a tone full of anger and Venom ''You are the one who has murdered my sons...''

'' That´s me'' I reply with a happy smile and a nod, intentionally wanting to rile him up as much as possible.

'' I will have you put in a crow cage to rot, sisterfucker'' He spat on the ground. Oh my, his saliva might just kill the grass. Too salty. ''And my ironmen will take the wives of the traitorous riverlander scum for their pleasure, they´ll take your wife for their pleasure'' He grinned at the prospect of revenge ''Do you hear that? I will have your sister handed over to all my captains so they may make use of her, and once they are finished, she will become a sacrifice to the drowned god, mayhaps we´ll do it to your other sister as well...or even giving them the honor of bearing salt sons''

'' You will never get the chance, Harren.'' I tell him ''I have 8.000 men surrounding your castle'' I roll my eyes ''A very big castle, I must admit...compensating for something I imagine''

Harren grits his teeth ''Outside my walls, they are of no concern''

'' Ah'' I tell him with a shake of my head ''But the men will not be outside your walls for long, Harren. I have a Dragon, and no matter how tall or how sturdy the walls may be, Dragons fly.''

'' Stone does not burn'' He says with tremendous confidence for someone who canonically gets turned into an afternoon dinner with all the roasting Aegon did ''Your Demon will find no success here. The Drowned god will provide''

''The Drowned god?'' I ask him ''I do not remember hearing of any raids you partook in, of any sacrifices you might have done. Why, the god must favor me over you, after all, I sacked Volantis. A far greater prize than anything you might have ever looted. No. I think that in 40 years, all you have done is pile brick upon brick to build your hall. I thought Ironmen were meant to be sailors and raiders, no? But you...you spent all your reign building a castle in the Riverlands...you seem more of a Greenlander, Harren. Your grandfather would be very disappointed, I am sure''

Oh, he was mad ''YOU CUNT!'' He roared ''I WILL SLAUGHTER YOU!''

I laughed at his wrath, which only made him angrier before I cut into a more serious tone ''Now, listen here you cretin. I will give you a day to make a decision. My brother believed that all those who kneel were to be allowed to keep their titles. But he is not here, I am. You will relinquish your crown, as will your worthless brat of a son. And you will join the night´s watch on the wall. Your brother is the lord commander, he may find a use for you there...or not...likely not'' I raised my hand ''Defy me, and I will take Harrenhal from you. I will nail you to a cross and watch you die. But it will not be quick, Harren. Oh, no. You will be begging for death, but it will not come until I decide you have suffered enough for my amusement...and then...only then, will you be granted release'' I narrow my eyes ''Make your choice. Now. And choose well''

''Join the watch...'' His son said with worry ''Father...''

I cut him off ''Silence, brat. Let your father solve your problems for you...'' I make sure to sound pretentious ''That´s all you are good for, right? Simply let your father do everything. Like the useless disappointment and waste you are...''

''I am no-''

Harren almost snapped ''I will die before I let some inbred sisterfucker take my crown from me'' He spat on the ground. Again. Daring today, aren´t we?

I lean in my saddle a bit ''Yes, I do it with my sister...and with pride might I add...and if you are eager to die...your wish is my pleasure'' We turn our horses and begin to ride away. Until I raise my hand ''Oh, one more thing. A gift for you, Harren'' I throw the bag, the heads of his sons rolling out so he can see them. Harren got red with fury, looking me in the eyes, his living son was pale with horror ''They died screaming'' I add ''Like cowards. 'Oh father, please save me. Where are you father?' it did nothing when I thrust my spear through them. Oh, it hurt. A lot might I add, so much fear...''

Harren finally, finally, lost it. He lost it totally. He unsheathed his sword and shouted ''KILL HIM! KILL THIS SON OF A BITCH! KILL HIM NOW!''

I cannot believe that it actually worked. Huh...my ''master plan'' was just trying to piss him off till he broke the peace banner. Now it´s on, I just have to catch this guy. But he´s a fatso. He ain´t going anywhere. Who knew that being an asshole could pay dividends. Huh...well, good to know. Anyway, he broke the peace banner, I can do whatever the fuck I want with him now, and no one can say a word. Bye-bye, Harren dear.

The ''fight'' if you can even call it one, is incredibly short. Harren´s escort charges at me, but a whole lot of them get killed by my boys with crossbows, one or two of them even got clever and shot at the horses. The ones that weren´t killed like that died shortly after, two of them managed to actually get close enough to hit me, but my armor ate it up like a champ, and I killed them both with my sword. One of them got decapitated in a particularly clean swing of which I am proud of, while the other just got the standard slice in the gut. Harren´s son hit me in the chest with a spear, but Valyrian steel armor is unbalanced and it did jack shit. I swept the feet of his horse, who launched the idiot as if he were a ragdoll in Gmod. I do think I hear the cracking of some bones. What a nice sound.

Harren himself? Well, my boys shot his mount´s ass, which promptly collapsed on top of him. Harren was panting like the fatso he is. I looked at the boys ''Well done. Once we are back at the camp, we can share some wine...or ale. Whichever one you all prefer''

''Ale'' They said in unison. Well damn. Won´t be arguing that.

I saw that Harren´s son was trying to crawl away. Oh, no you won´t. I have a more fun idea for you! I have the men chase him down and tie him up to a tree I can´t help but giggle before shouting the orders ''Load the crossbows'' They do as I say ''good. Now put them up'' Again, they obey me. I laugh now ''All of you, shoot him in the cock''

As the cretin died in screams of agony. I remembered that I never even bothered learning his name. Let´s call him Jimmy. Rest in peace, Jimmy.

As for Harren? We beat him up a bit and took him captive. I think I am going to lock him up in a dungeon and torture him. Or not. I´ve got my fix of violence already. I'll decide later. Either way, I can´t believe that this worked. How cool.

Didn´t even have to burn Harrenhal for it. Evil slaver castle is intact.

Nice...that´s nice

Chapter Text

Maesters and archmaesters oft use Aegon´s conquest as a touchstone for the last few centuries. Dates of births, deaths, battles, and treaties are all dated either BC (Before the Conquest) or AC (After the Conquest). Though exact days and moons are imprecise and subject to dispute, being shrouded in both mystery and misconception (indeed, Aegon´s Landing, while celebrated by the Targaryens, is not considered year 0, that honor belongs to the King´s second coronation) it remains the most widespread manner in which the history of Westeros is dated.

The Targaryens themselves came from the old Valyrian Freehold, as a house of lesser importance among the 40 dragon-riding families. Which already made them of higher stature than most. The fires of the Doom of Valyria swallowed whole all that had been built by the freehold, leaving only a smoldering smoking wasteland, hazardous to any who would dare to venture them...or even sail near, as any good man of the sea may tell. But the Targaryens were not part of this destruction, far from it, Aenar Targaryen´s young maiden daughter, Daenys, called the dreamer for her vision, dreamed of the incoming danger, and warned her sire. Lord Aenar took his child´s warnings to heart, making off from Valyria with multiple dragons, his wealth, as well as his wives, children, and followers, settling in the small isle of Dragonstone. There, he built his hall and ruled for the rest of his days. Though he had shared his knowledge with fellow Valyrians, his warnings were cast aside and laughed at as absurdities...they proved themselves true, of course, only a few years later. 12, to be exact.

A few remnants of the empire briefly remained, but Dragons and their riders were overrun and slain wherever they were found, with the exception of one Aurion, who subdued Qohor and proclaimed himself emperor of Valyria, before heading off into the ruins, in an attempt at claiming them. Aurion was never seen or heard from again, and neither were his dragons and followers.

Thusly, the Targaryens had become the last Dragonlords. After the death of Aenar, his son Gaemon, called the Glorious for his dealings in essos, ruled with his sister-wife, Daenys for years to come. They had children, as did their children´s children, and the lineage of Targaryens continued from father to Son for the next century, the Dragons brought from Valyria perished one by one, with the exception of Balerion the Black Dread. But new Dragons hatched, and they grew to be fierce creatures in their own right. Huge and Strong, with sharp claws, hot fires, and thick scales.

The line of Targaryen lords of Dragonstone is of little interest to the history of the Conquest, until Lord Aerion Targaryen. Aerion was a strong and virile man, his wife, Lady Valaena was born a Velaryon, though her own mother was a Targaryen. From Lady Valaena, Aerion sired four children, two daughters, and two sons, from the eldest to the youngest they would be named Visenya, Aegon, Rhaenys, and Daeron. These four are known today as the Conquerors. It is also known that he sired a son that would later be named Orys Baratheon. The mother of Orys is unknown, as is the origin of the name Baratheon, the topic is still hotly contested, with many insisting Lord Orys was conceived from the right of the first night. Either way, Orys was born first amongst all his half-siblings, and despite the taint of bastardy, was clothed, fed, sheltered, and trained in arms, though not letters.

All were raised in Dragonstone, except the youngest son, Daeron, who was briefly sent to foster in Driftmark where he tasted bloodshed for the first time in some Stepstone skirmishes and spent some more years in Claw isle afterward. It was the custom of Old Valyria to wed brother to sister, uncle to niece, nephew to aunt, and cousin to cousin, the blood of the dragon must be kept pure, so the saying went. Thus, the trueborn siblings all wed one another. Visenya and Aegon, Rhaenys and Daeron. Likewise, they shared the silver-gold hair and violet eyes common amongst Valyrians.

It is at this point that the characters of the Conquerors ought to be discussed.

The eldest, Visenya, was known to be stern, harsh, and unforgiving. Rumors of conspiracy, sorcery, and murder surrounded her figure. As much a warrior as her brothers in both swordplay and Dragonback, she was as comfortable in ringmail as in silk, wielding the Valyrian steel sword Dark Sister. It was her custom to keep her hair braided, to not get in her way amid combat or flight. No Targaryen Queen or princess ever wielded as much influence as Queen Visenya, her sister, and their direct progeny. King Aegon allowed his Queen to sit on the throne as if she were equal (Though his voice was always final and absolute) and left the administration under her capable hands. Her counsel was always taken into account.

The Queen was not loved by her subjects. The whispering never truly subsided, and many grumbled that no proper Queen would garb herself as a warrior. Still, she was respected, and none would dare speak ill of Her grace where either she or the King could hear, for Visenya´s wroth was feared across the seven Kingdoms. It was also noted that she and King Aegon would rarely visit each other´s bedchambers. Many onlookers at the court suggested their marriage was not a happy one, though there were no suspicions of infidelity on either side. The Queen´s mount was the she-Dragon Vhagar, a huge bronze beast with green eyes, while the smallest of the 4 Targaryen dragons, it was no less fierce.

Aegon Targaryen was a mystery to his contemporaries and is still one to us. His motivations for conquering Westeros are unknown and uncertain, and his likes and dislikes just as much. The King was an able warrior, with the Sword Blackfyre, yet he partook in no tourneys during his reign, only one during his younger years in Oldtown. He preferred to leave governance to his subordinates, yet would not hesitate to take action if he thought it necessary. He rode Balerion, the biggest of the Targaryen beasts, yet only for battle and travel, never for pleasure. The King was fair in his dealings and showed respect to those he defeated, but defiance was never tolerated.

Tall, Strong, and skilled at arms, King Aegon was open-handed with titles and honors, serving as inspiration for many who came after him, Targaryen or not. Few, if any, were comparable to the King. It was one of his greatest concerns to keep amiable relations within his own family, and between the crown and its vassals.

Princess Rhaenys was everything her sister was not. Playful, gentle, and mischievous. No true warrior. The princess took great delight in bards and mummers, being a great patron of the arts. It is known many popular songs were composed with her funding. In particular, the Princess cared deeply for the smallfolk, women and children included, who in turn, loved her dearly. That is not to say her popularity did not extend to the nobility, for it very much did. Rhaenys was fond of arranging marriage pacts between houses inside her lordship and was known to have many ladies in waiting from different houses.

Rhaenys loved flight, her dragon Meraxes was noted to be the gentlest amongst the 4, though that means little when it comes to Dragons. With silver scales and golden eyes, Meraxes grew to be a large and formidable beast.

Though some would whisper that the princess exerted some form of pressure over historical records, those claims can be safely discarded as false. For one, maesters of the citadel such as myself are incorruptible and serve no outside agenda besides that of learning and our oaths, and also because they would be deeply inconsistent with the generally noble and selfless woman she showed herself to be.

Prince Daeron was the youngest of the four. Like his brothers and eldest sister, he was a warrior, though perhaps the most eager of them when it came to bloodshed. The prince was known for being loyal to the king. Mercurial, Daeron was an eccentric man who would occasionally speak of "War crimes" (Especially to his eldest son, Aerion), and some other things that must surely be part of ancient Valyrian practices. Still, soldiers considered him charming, and he was idolized by adventurers and second sons, as well as the free city of Lys (Who has some form of festival in his honor to this day, involving eye patches, the reason being involved with his dealings in Volantis, which are beyond the scope of this text). He was, however, quite feared, for Prince Daeron preferred that combat be fought to the death...still, he would always restrain himself by order of his brother, something most nobles were quite quick to notice, and the thought of treason was, thus, kept far away from their minds.

The Prince rode a splendid Golden Wyrm with Green eyes that went by the name of Shrykos. Similar in size to that of his wife, (Contemporary sources call it slightly larger, but songs and the recordings of some maesters state the opposite) it was known for being aggressive and irritable, prone to attack if provoked, but also prone to periods of laziness and inactivity. Like his other siblings, he wielded a Valyrian Steel sword and wore an armor of Valyrian steel as well, acquired in his most famous feat, the liberation of Volantis

The conjugal affairs of the youngest Targaryen pair were seen more positively. It is known the prince desired his wife since childhood and was very eager for his wedding night, some sources go as far as to imply he suffered rejection before Rhaenys was persuaded. Due to his nature, most lords preferred approaching his wife and asking her to bring the matter to him afterward. That Daeron Targaryen rarely denied a wish from his sister was a well-known fact of the time. He handed over complete control of administrating his lands and incomes to her, preferring to either enjoy wine and ale, raise his children, fly with his dragon or hunt down outlaws. On one such hunt, the prince found himself with a bandit known as Gargon the red, for his blood stained daggers. The prince, for reasons unknown to us, took offense at this title and delivered the following words before having the outlaw crucified for his crimes of rape, theft, and murder "You´ve gotten a lot farther then you should have, but then again, you haven´t met Daeron Targaryen. Your ride´s over commie. Time to die"

It is also known that due to pressure from their children, Prince Daeron and Princess Rhaenys would eventually bring multiple animals to serve as pets...the Princess was fond of cats, and the prince of dogs. They settled on a cat after Rhaenys persuaded her brother and husband.

These four were the conquerors of Westeros and the last of the Dragonlords, from them, came all future sons and daughters, Kings, Queens, Princes, and Princesses of House Targaryen. Though bloody, the conquest is seen as a positive development, having brought peace and stability to the long feuding and fractured realm of petty kings and lords. With some seeing them as liberators

Four heads had the Dragon

Chapter Text

The prince of the reach looked at himself in the mirror he always kept in his tent. A smile on his face. His armor looked fantastic! Plate, made of hard steel, but still light enough for him to move as if he were as naked as a babe. He also had a helmet, just in case he needed to avoid getting hit by a rock or an arrow. His lance was strong and sharp, ready for some dragon-slaying! Gawen was so proud, his father had given him command of the cavalry that would shatter the lines of the sisterfucker and bring an end to his invasion.

It was perfect! That was the best chance we would ever have of earning his spurs and becoming a knight! Mayhaps afterward he would even find himself a good wife, some pretty and sweet girl that would give him heirs...which lady of the court wouldn't want him? He was going to be a herp, this was it, the Targaryens were done. They had gotten farther than they should have, but they hadn't yet met the brave knights of the reach, it was their time to be thrust back to the sea and into their isle of heresy named Dragonstone. Mayhaps after Aegon was slain, the High septon would grow a pair and order holy war against the incestuous abominations. Clearly, the other Targaryen, Daeron, was beyond saving and in need of death. But perhaps their wives could still be saved if they were made to spend the rest of their days among the silent sisters or as Septas.

Victory was certain! Gawen and his friends, Lord Roxton and Lord Peake, would both be riding in the vanguard with their horses and Lances. They were going to charge headfirst, without anything as cowardly as "Subterfuge" or "Military maneuvers", of course not! True men settled things by riding head first into each other with Lances, that was how war was meant to be fought! And they were going to win, having more soldiers and more bravery.

That was all that ever mattered in combat. Having more soldiers and being braver. Now, Gawen hadn't ever fought on the battlefield before, only in chivalrous tourneys, but that didn't mean a thing. He knew exactly how glorious war was and how glorious his victory was going to be. Some other lords, those closer to the dornish borders, spoke of "Caution" and that his father the king should not charge in an open field. But that was just cowardice.

Running up to someone so you can stab them with a lance is the only proper and chivalrous way to make war.

IT WAS KNOWN.

...

King Aegon stood in the shadow of Balerion the Black Dread. His mount.

Balerion was in an especially irritable mood that day. He had not yet been fed his goats. Aegon was aware that supplying an army would be difficult, but he had not expected that Balerion would consume so much more food than usual during the war...then again, Aegon rode him little during his time as Lord of Dragonstone, so perhaps his ignorance was not so unexpected after all. Still, the Reach and its lords did not lack goats or cows for the Black Dread to swallow whole.

The Dragon growled at the sight of his rider, but did not move aggressively, nor did Aegon flinch, Dragons refused to respect the cowardly, and would never harm their rider, even if they could still be in sour moods. Aegon cared little and less about that. He needed Balerion for the battle, and so Balerion would fly. He had already been claimed, no defiance would come from him.

The King placed a gentle hand on Balerion's snout. It was hot as fire, Visenya oft told him that Dragons had fire in their blood, Aegon wasn't too sure how true that was, but he wouldn't doubt it either. Visenya was never the type to lie to him.

Balerion soon lowered himself. Aegon climbed on his back. Another thing Visenya told him was that Dragons knew the heart of their riders, if that was the case, then Balerion knew what was about to come, and mayhaps that was why he seemed to be cheering up, and quickly. He liked to burn.

...

The Gardner army was soon in formation. Gawen was right at the front. It was going to be amazing!

The battlefield was perfect, grassy, plains, wide, and without any obstacles or deformities. No hills, no slopes, none of the sort. Just a straight, open field, for him to run straight at the Targaryens. ABSOLUTE PERFECTION.

The reach nobles all wore armor, some wore ringmail, others plate. Most were ahorse, with the ones that stayed on foot being either squires or otherwise too young to fight. A few stayed farther back, claiming that as they had already provided soldiers for the cause, they need not fight themselves. And that the kingdom would be best served if they did not risk their lives. His father was one of these men.

The levies were poorly equipped, most went to battle with spears whose shafts looked ready to break after the first thrust, others had brought the scythes from their farms, and the axe was also a common weapon. Yet his sire had also brought a few men-at-arms, like the peasants, most of these wielded the spear, but there was a small amount of archers and crossbowmen, with the rest wielding swords.

The Targaryen levies were much, much smaller in number. For every one man they had, his sire had seven. They were composed mostly of peasants, Gawen struggled to spot Men-at-arms among them, though surely they were present somewhere. But that doesn't matter. Gawen had been taught by maesters on how to count! He had more soldiers on his side, which meant he was going to win. That's exactly how war works.

Many banners were waved. The Gardner banner was the most prominent, but some other house flags such as that of houses Roxton, Peake, Redwyne, and even Tarly were beside it. In contrast, the Targaryen soldiers on the other side of the field had only their queer banner of a black four-headed Dragon. Gawen thought it looked quite good, but he was never going to tell that to anyone. Ever.

Now, he wished he had a speech but...Gawen struggled to come up with anything inspiring. Oh well, he didn't need it. He had something simpler.

He raised his lance "KILL THEM ALL! FOR KING MERN! CHARGE!"

Horns were blown and a couple of drums were beat. Soon a horde began to charge, the sounds of screams, clinking metal, and horse Hooves all mixing in the field.

Gawen had the fastest steed, he was the first in the charge, the Targaryen banners looked on in horror as the armored horses got closer and closer, until they collided, his own horse trampled 4 men, Gawen thrust his lance at the neck of spearmen, and his aim was true, the peasant died on the ground, swallowing his own blood.

He felt something hit him from behind, but when he turned to look, the assailant had earned himself a kick from Gawen's horse, killing him instantly. The prince laughed and patted his horse affectionately.

Everything was going so well! The Targaryens were going to break, he could feel it, there was no way for them to resist for much longer, he was going to win and earn his knighthood. This is it! All his dreams were going to come true!

Gawen frowned when the battlefield became covered by a shadow. It was too early for that. He removed his helmet and looked up, freezing immediately.

The Dragon had come.

It was immense, so huge that Gawen struggled to comprehend how something so large could even exist. His scales were as black as smoke and blotted out the sun, the teeth looked as sharp as swords and it had a mouth wide enough to swallow at least 5 horses at once...

His men began to lose courage, to waver and to flee...but Gawen steeled himself. NO! He was going to earn his knighthood and he was going to win this battle, this was where he became a hero like Ser Serwyn, this is where he became a legend. Who does this Targaryen think he is? Trying to take the reach from his family, Gawen wasn't having it.

He raised his lance, pointing it at the great black beast.

Gawen closed one of his eyes to aim better...

All of his family was counting on him, all of the Reach, the seven themselves would guide his weapon. All the hope of a kingdom stood on his shoulders

And he threw it! Gawen smiled when he saw it fly across the sky...

Until it lost momentum and fell, not even touching the dragon.

Gawen could only stare in disappointment...but he was broken out of his mood quickly when The Black creature opened its jaws and breathed fire.

It was as if the seven hells themselves came on earth, men turned to ash, their armors melting, and the fields were engulfed in flames. The heat was so intense that Gawen began to sweat. The dragon swooped over the battlefield thrice, aiming its fires at the grass, and soon it spread into a ring of fire, from which none could escape. Gawen Gardener died screaming in Balerion's fire, but not long, for they burned hot, and soon not even a strand of his hair remained, his body so charred it was never recognized.

...

Atop Balerion, Aegon sighed as he saw the complete destruction of the reach armies. He had made sure to set fire on their routes of escape, and to target the King Gardner himself, the man had been hiding on the rear. Even from the skies, the smell of smoke filled Aegon's lungs. He coughed twice because of it. The fires were bright and hot. Aegon knew he was going to win, he had a dragon, but his enemies did not.

But he was not expecting the Gardners to just...run into death...he was puzzled. It had given him pause. Aegon had delayed his entry to battle simply because he could not understand what was happening. He suspected some trap, some subterfuge, some form of cleverness hidden underneath but...but no...soldiers simply threw themselves in the fight, running in straight lines. Aegon had never seen such confident stupidity in his life, nor even read about it. Was it some form of illness? Certainly no man healthy of mind would be THAT unintelligent...Was it something he could contract himself? He shuddered slightly at the thought...mayhaps he would ask Visenya to check on him later. She would know, she always did.

"I am surrounded by idiots" He muttered to himself

Chapter Text

Argillac gripped the hilt of his sword, his eyes narrowing with hate and disdain at the sight of the Targaryen black dragon flying atop the hill, his hill. It was on the Stormlands, it belonged to him. And he was going to take it or die in the attempt.

He was old now, weaker than he once was, his beard grey. But he had been young, and he had been a warrior. Argillac had inherited a weak kingdom, being picked apart by vultures. First had come Dorne and then the Reach, both of which he had beaten back, killing a Gardner king in battle. Then he had fought in Myr, more than once, against Volantis.

But this was his greatest battle, the one that decided the future of his kingdom. A battle against a dragon. Argillac knew what they could do, he had offered his daughter for them, yet the Son of a bitch in Dragonstone had rebuked and insulted his offer by trying to make Argella marry a bastard. That would never happen whilst Argillac drew breath, and while dragons were strong, they were creatures of the flesh, and as such they bled. And what can bleed can die.

Argillac rode his horse in front of his army, there stood the might of the stormlands. The rain refused to stop and the ground was muddy, the horse hooves digging deep into them. There was heavy thundering in the background, with the lightning brightening the sky. Argillac inspected his troops with a silent gaze. Most were peasants, taken from their harvests and farms for war. Still, Argillac always made sure they at least had a spear. But there were men at arms as well, knights too, dressed in mail coats and wielding swords and shields.

Riders on armored war horses were part of his vanguard, the speartip of his attack, the weapon which he would use to achieve victory. They wielded heavy lances with one arm and a shield on the other, their preferred protection was plate armor. Argillac also had squires stay back, so that they may hold the Durrandon banner of the crowned stag for all his men to see.

The aged King knew he had the numbers on his side. The Targaryens of Dragonstone held a dreary island, now rich in coin from the sacking of Volantis true, but with few inhabitants and similarly small vassals...the threat came from the dragon, something Argillac's own men had learned painfully after an ambush by the wendwater ended with an entire forest burned down in a rage...but luck was on his side now. The dragon would not fly in this weather, and the rider herself might be killed by lightning or else thrown off the saddle by the heavy winds. This was the best chance Argillac would ever get, and he would not squander it. Some of his lords had despaired at his order to prepare for an attack in the storm, uphill, but what did they know? Argillac had been fighting wars since before they'd been weaned from their mother's teats.

Adjusting his helmet and plate armor one last time, Argillac cleared his throat, preparing to address his men.

"Stormlanders!" He shouted over the storm, getting their attention. "Right there" Argillac pointed at the Black Dragon banner that flew. The Storm hindered visibility considerably, but the banner remained easy to see "Right there lies our enemy. The storm has filled with mud the roads of retreat and it hems us in, we must conquer or die. There may be fear, of their dragon, but we will not run. I will not run, nor will I stay in the rear, your king fights amongst you. These Targaryens come from some far-away island and think to impose their will on us, to burn our homes, to kill our brothers and our sons, to pillage our lands, and to take our women. Shall we allow them to continue their violation? Will you permit the army to escape which has carried terror into your families? You will not. March, then, to meet him. Tear from his brow the crowns which he has won, and teach him that those who try to tread upon us will meet our steel" Argillac raised his sword "COME WITH ME! ATTACK NOW! OURS IS THE FURY! NO MERCY!"

The soldiers took the words well, some hitting the ground with their spear shafts, others banging their shields with their weapons. Shouts of "No mercy" and "Slaughter them all" were the most common, amongst simple guttural screaming.

The army began to move, Argillac himself preferring to start with a cavalry charge, the sounds of thousands of boots and hundreds of hooves thundering amongst the storm, as they began to slow and arduous ascent up the muddy hill.

...

Orys Baratheon barged into his younger sister's tent with haste. He was dripping, having gotten wet running across camp.

He found Rhaenys lying down in her sleeping bag, reading a book, a cup of wine beside her. She frowned when she saw him, irritation evident

"What is it, brother? You should dry yourself before coming in further..." He ignored her nonsense "Or not..." She muttered

"What are you waiting for?!" Orys asked with despair "Get up and mount Meraxes! Argillac is attacking! The battle is about to begin!"

Rhaenys's eyes widened with shock, her jaw dropping, throwing her book away and stumbling over herself as she attempted to get on her feet, Rhaenys accidentally kicked her wine cup. She cursed under her breath before speaking, her voice full of annoyance and confusion

"Wha...WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOW?! IT'S RAINING! HE CAN'T DO THAT! HE CAN'T FORCE ME TO GO IN THE RAIN! NO!"

Orys sighed, putting his hand on his forehead

"Oh, by the gods Rhaenys, please, please not now. By all that is good, do not throw a tantrum now!

Rhaenys huffed, hating the chastisement.

"Whatever. I am going to enjoy killing this cunt. How dare he force me into this right now? Could he not wait a day to get himself killed? Stupid andals, damn them all, DAMN THEM ALL! AGH!"

They heard the noise of thunder outside, Rhaenys looked to have had a realization

"W...wait, how...how... am I supposed to be flying in the storm?" She looked anxious

Orys was stumped...for only a moment.

"That doesn't matter" He replies "Even a grounded dragon can do damage and scare them off, Meraxes is no weak beast. Now stop your whining and go do what you're supposed to!"

Orys didn't bother to listen to whatever Rhaenys was going to say in response, it was going to be an excuse, instead, he ran out of the tent in a hurry, moving as fast as his legs could take him. He had stationed his army near the top of the hill, he had the high ground after all, and that was a tremendous advantage. He had all the soldiers with shields stand in front making a wall, they were armed either with axes or with spears.

Orys mounted his horse and made sure to stay in the rear, so he could have a better vision of the battle that was about to begin. The rain made the visibility quite poor, but only a blind man would fail to see the war horses coming, all of them armored like their riders. The charge was, however, slowed. The uphill climb was a hindrance, but it was the mud brought about by the storm that made things truly challenging for them. The horses tended to get stuck in it, with some going as far as to slip, fall, and crush their own riders.

They were an easy target, Orys ordered his bowmen to shoot them with as many arrows as they could before reaching the rest of his troops. Arrows were removed from their quivers and the bows were raised, but just as the Storm harmed Argillac, it harmed Orys now as well, the strings were wet from the rain and the shots held close to no strength. Orys let out a dry bitter chuckle.

His next order was to roll down the logs, and this held more effect. Orys had cut down all the nearby trees in the days before the battle. Stuck in the mud and having trouble with sight, many of Argillac's vanguard were crushed without ever understanding what happened. Their cracking bones and screams of terror were heard across the slippery muddy slopes.

That earned some cheers on his side and a satisfied smile on his face. Orys didn't need a dragon for this one, he could win with just men. And he was going to have Argillac's head hanged in his hall and his daughter as a wife. Lord Orys, now that was a dream coming true! A castle and highborn wife...Aegon truly was generous...

The stormlanders were not so easily deterred however and soon, the attack began again, this time, led by the spearmen instead of the cavalry, finally, his army clashed with Argillac's, and the bloodbath began.

Steel met steel, as a deafening thunder was heard roaring across the sky. Orys knew what his men were feeling now, as they attempted to keep the shield wall intact, they could smell the breath of their enemy, hear him scream his curses, feel the impact from his blow, smell him shit, and piss himself before dying and see him take his last breath once he is felled with a well-aimed strike.

It quickly became a deadlock. Orys's men could not push Argillac's back, there were too many of them, but neither could Argillac's breakthrough, the terrain made that too difficult. Whoever buckled under the pressure first, would lose. It was a matter of morale and endurance. Seeing this, Orys rode closer so that the men could see him, and raised his axe, one made in Valyrian steel that he had looted in Volantis. Orys rode from one side of the front to the other, trying to encourage his soldiers to continue fighting.

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! NO MERCY! KILL THEM ALL, FOR KING AEGON!"

It was simple and crass, but warriors wanted blood, not flowery language. Orys made sure to kill a few knights that had tried to be clever and slip by his flanks, the first rode a horse and wielded a lance with plate armor for protection and was swiftly killed when Orys ducked his thrust and swiped at his mount's feet, making the animal fall and sending the man flying to his doom. The second one was a peasant that didn't even seem to know where he was, likely, he had gotten lost because of the rain. Orys dispatched of him with a swift swing of the axe, precise and strong, beheading him instantly. It was clean and painless.

...

Rhaenys was bloody, bloody furious!

How dare that cunt, that ass, Argillac make her get wet! Unacceptable, unthinkable. The highest of treasons.

She had struggled mightly to put on her armor. Normally, there were servants to do that job for her, but they all ran off when the fighting began! Where was their loyalty to her? Rhaenys was going to find these people and she was going to punish them for it. Severely. Rhaenys had stumbled into the floor and hit her head thrice while trying to get the damned armor on, and the cape? The cape had been so difficult she'd wanted to gouge out her eyes out of frustration.

But she couldn't just have gone to battle without putting on that beautiful red cape and without preparing her hair a little...and briefly doing her nails. Rhaenys couldn't allow herself to just be seen looking bad, it was an affront against everything she represented.

It was done now, however. The run towards Meraxes hadn't been pleasant either, with Rhaenys always making sure to run from tent to tent to take shelter from the rain and attempt to avoid ruining her beautiful looks...a failed hope that she gave up after 10 minutes. Sighing and admitting defeat to the elements.

Soaked and sullen, she approached Meraxes, with the dragon responding to her presence with affection, lowering her snout. Rhaenys put her left hand on it briefly, just so her girl could know that she was very loved. But right now? Rhaenys wasn't about love, she was about revenge. She made her way to Meraxes's side, with her she-dragon understanding what was to come and roaring with excitement.

Rhaenys slowly climbed the back of her beloved dragon, her fingers and legs almost slipping more than once because of this bloody thrice damned rain! She made herself comfortable in the saddle...or at least as comfortable as she could be while feeling so miserable.

"Go on" Rhaenys said with a scowl and a pout, her arms crossed "Go on Meraxes, as fast as you can. Get it over with quickly"

Meraxes began to crawl. Being so large and heavy, the ground shook when each step was taken. Dragons are clumsy creatures on land, even if still formidable, with their thick scales, sharp claws and teeth, and the fire.

But Meraxes...oh her sweet dragon was trying her best, but Rhaenys could see her struggle to move on the ground at any real speed, it broke Rhaenys's heart to see it. Dragons were made to fly in the skies, not hobble on the ground like lizards. That's why they had WINGS.

And worse, the worst thing that had ever happened to Rhaenys in her entire life: Meraxes would throw around some mud while moving in the ground and, DISGUSTINGLY, some of it fell on HER! Even worse, on the HAIR! Rhaenys would react quickly with disgust and a yell of horror, quickly using her hand to get it away from her beautiful face.

Tears were shed and tantrums were thrown with considerable anger and aggression.

...

"All of you, get away from the old man" Orys said coldly, observing Argillac Durrandon as he was fighting off 6 of his soldiers at once. The aged king's horse had slipped in the mud, but the Durrandon had continued the fight, it had been pure luck for Orys to stumble upon him in the middle of the chaos. "He is mine"

Orys's troops obeyed reluctantly, King Argillac got on his feet and spat. Raising his hand as a sign for his Stormlanders to not interfere. Orys got off his horse.

"Bastard" The old man spat "You want it done the old way then?"

Orys's blood boiled at being called a bastard. He was a grown man and a warrior, one who had taken down the greatest city of the world. He wasn't ashamed of his birth, but he knew he was worth more than it.

"Aye, I do" He took a step forward with the axe in his hand "Just you and me"

Durrandon seemed pleased enough with it

"I will make sure to rip out your hands from your corpse" He said, with a smile "My daughter might like to see them. Argella is a feisty one"

"Don't worry, Your Grace" Orys replied, in an even tone "Once I kill you and take your castle, we will get to know each other very well. I've never quite liked docile women, mayhaps she will be my type. My brother promised me a wife"

"I would sooner dance in hell than see the stormlands ruled by your kind, much less have a grandson tainted with your blood"

The fight began then.

Orys swung his axe first, he was younger faster, and stronger than the old King, his weapon was of valyrian steel, and every point was in his favor.

Argillac blocked the swing with his sword, still being pushed back by the strenght of the hit. Orys saw that he almost slipped and fell because of the mud, Baratheon moved closer, but slowly, he did not wish to slip himself.

The Durrandon preferred to take a single step forward and stab with the tip of his sword, trying to keep Baratheon away. Orys took a step back to avoid getting hit

The two circled one another, occasionally swinging or stabbing, but otherwise not doing much.

Suddenly, Orys decided to get closer, swinging with his axe from above three times. Argillac attempted to get out of the way, but was slowed down by the terrain, Orys's axe cut through Argillac's armor, right in the shoulder, and drew blood from the man, who grunted in pain. Orys would try and hit him again, this time trying to shatter his helmet with a good blow and then destroy his head, but Argillac was quick with his sword, slashing Orys in the cheek.

Baratheon recoiled from the hit, moving back. He put a hand on his face, blood was spilling from there and he could tell it was going to scar.

"Son of a bitch..." Orys muttered to himself.

The Storm King still had his sword in his hand, he looked tired but determined, unwilling to give in. Orys was tired as well, but it was nothing that he hadn't handled before, warriors are trained to persevere through exhaustion, and Orys had gone to real war before, he was no summer knight.

Orys went back into the attack, striking with the Valyrian steel axe, Argillac blocked some of the blows and dodged others, and the ones he did receive badly damaged his armor, with the axe going so deep it got stuck in the plate. But the Durrandon attacked whenever he could as well, swinging at Orys whenever he had the chance, cutting his wrist and hitting his armor, with far less effect however.

Orys and the storm king exchanged blows one last time, when the Durrandon plunged his sword into the Baratheon's gut, making him howl with pain, and Orys did the same with his axe in return, taking down King Argillac.

Orys Baratheon was put on his knees from the wound, whereas Argillac Durrandon fell, unable to move or help himself. The battle was decided.

"It was a good fight," Orys said through pained grunts and difficult breaths "You fought with honor, there is no shame"

King Argillac raised his head as much as he could, which was not much, and spat in response, before dying.

Seeing the death of their king, the Stormlanders began to rout.

Unfortunately for them, a dragon had finally come.

Meraxes crawled from the slippery slopes and down into where the fight had been, each step shaking the ground, her roars sending terror and fear into the hearts of men.

The panic was absolute, many who tried fleeing from her simply slipped on the mud and were crushed, others were devoured by her wide jaws and there was always the fire. Dragonfire put fear even in Orys himself, and seeing it happen now did not alleviate that feeling, as he could hear the screams of pain and smell the ash. The storm still raged and still it was hard to see things from far away, yet the silver-colored fires of Meraxes were so bright that there was no trouble in seeing it, neither were her shining scales obscured.

The Dragon went on a rampage, killing everyone it could get caught with its claws, maw, or fire. Meraxes raised her head and roared, before crawling down to the Durrandon camp at the base of the hill and setting it alight, there would be no looting for the victors, as the dragon trampled and burned everything that could have been of use or value. The Crowned Stag that had been flying since the start of the battle was burned to ash.

After doing all that, Rhaenys and Meraxes came to him, a satisfied look on his sister's face, that was replaced with concern

"Are you well Orys? You look..quite hurt"

"I will live" Was his dry reply

"Good!" She said, happy, before turning her gaze back to her own destruction "Gods, that felt good...very good...now I see what Daeron was talking about..."

"Tell him then" Orys said, tired "I am sure he will appreciate it"

"Oh, don't be so sour Orys" Rhaenys rolled her eyes "There was never any risk of you losing. I mean, I practically won the battle myself, right?"

"No" Orys said, deadpan "You did absolutely nothing"

Rhaenys looked genuinely shocked and stumped, almost confused

"And there's more" He added "This battle just confirmed to me that, while I love you, Visenya is a better sister. She would have come earlier with Vhagar"

"You did NOT say that to me" Rhaenys huffed "Did you not see how many of them I killed? And I went to Meraxes as fast as I could, I stopped for nothing!"

"The Stormlanders were already running away, and I know you are lying Rhaenys"

"Hmph" She rolled her eyes "I am going to pretend I didn't hear you speak those things about me...or saying you like Visenya more...clearly, the battle has addled your wits. When the time comes for this battle to be remembered, my great role will not be forgotten"

Orys couldn't bother to care about whatever it was Rhaenys was babbling about. He was taken to a maester by his soldiers soon after, and got drunk on milk of the poppy, dreaming strange dreams...when he finally recovered, there began the final part of the campaign.

Taking Storm's end.

Chapter Text

Argella Durrandon was awoken from her slumber by a knock on her chamber's door.

She did not like that. If it wasn't something truly important, that stupid servant was going to have his head bashed in with a Warhammer. Cunt.

Argella had been very, VERY angry as of late. First, the sisterfucker had the gall to reject HER, because Aegon Targaryen was a disgusting man who could only get his dick hard if it was with a relative, but then that filthy heretic proposed for her to marry a...bastard. What the bastard did, including Volantis, did not matter, because he was a BASTARD.

Simply put, the answer was NO. Argella loved that her father had included the detail of chopping the hands of the envoy off, that is what Lord Aegon deserved for that type of insult.

Unfortunately, Aegon had a very fragile pride. He decided to invade all Seven Kingdoms of Westeros at once. As if! No one had ever conquered the Kingdoms, this Valyrian was about to feel the bite of some good Stormlander steel! Her father had defeated Kings of the reach, slain dornish raiders, and fought against the Volantenes, what was a couple of VERY close siblings compared to that?

Aegon was also a coward, he didn't come to fight King Durrandon, NO! He ran off and left his sister and the bastard to do it for him, obviously he was afraid of King Argillac Durrandon. HAHA! Argella's father was going to kill the bastard and imprison "Princess" Rhaenys before defeating Aegon himself. King Argillac was old but he was strong and a novice like Aegon Targaryen stood absolutely no chance.

Dragons were simply big lizards. Who would want a big lizard that flies and breathes fire? Not her. (Argella has never felt jealousy in her life. She is not jealous, SHE IS NOT)

So, if this stupid cunt of a servant had interrupted her sleep for nothing, the seven hells would not be enough of a punishment for him.

She opened the door for the servant, who was pale and sweating, looking terrified.

"What?" Argella asked without bothering to hide her displeasure

"Ki-Ki-King Argillac has been killed!" The man said in horror

Argella could not believe it, surely there was a mistake?

Her voice was weaker now

"Wh..."

"The army is shattered!" The man added, fearful "Prin...princess we are lost!"

"Summon everyone to the courtyard" Argella said bitterly "We must hurry for my coronation"

"Cor...coronation?"

"The King is dead and I was his heir. Where is the confusion?"

"Princ-"

"Queen"

"My...my Queen...we...we must yield, there...there is no hope..."

"I gave you orders, move, NOW"

Argella wasn't going to explain herself to a mere servant, his job was to do as she said! Yielding was absolutely out of the question, death before dishonor, if her father was truly dead then it was her new duty to avenge him or to die trying. Argella would not surrender to his murderers who had no claim to the storm lands.

Now, she had never commanded an army before...and there weren't many soldiers in Storm's end to begin with...but Argella would figure something out, right? Those were only minor...*Complications*

...

Argella had never expected wearing a crown to be so incredibly uncomfortable. The thing liked to hurt her head. Still, she had commanded the blacksmiths to make one as similar as possible to her late father's.

She was going to honor his memory in every way possible!

His old council room was small and devoid of luxuries, Argillac Durrandon considered decorations wastes of coin that could be spent with soldiers, after years of war and raids, the coffers were far from full.

It was also devoid of people, all the prominent vassals had joined in the initial march, and those that survived seemingly all turned cloak and joined the invaders. She had only the local septon and an old knight named Roland with her. Far from what she envisioned being Queen would be like ever since being named heir by her father...oh well.

"We have 200 pikemen and 50 archers." Ser Roland said bluntly

" And? Cavalry, crossbowmen...anything?"

"Your father took them all with him"

"Then RECRUIT MORE!"

"We lack in horses and we lack in weapons to hand out, My Queen..."

"Mayhaps we could buy some sellswords?"

"I know of some companies from Essos...and the pirates from the stepstones are always willing to wage war...but we have no coin either"

"No coin?..." Argella turned her gaze to the septon sitting to her left "No coin?"

The man started to sweat profusely

"My Queen, all septs are devoid of luxuries and our brothers and sisters in the faith are not to be disturbed in their prayers..."

"Oh, they won't be disturbed. The soldiers will take what they coin they can find and all artifacts too" She scratched her chin "Those can be sold or melted, can they not?"

"My Queen, but think of the gods..."

"I can deal with the gods later. For now, it is coin I need..." She thought some more "Food?"

"We have enough for two years"

"Good" Finally something positive!

"But it will not matter" The knight said "News has come from the reach and the riverlands, King Mern and King Harren have both been killed, Dornish raiders have also begun attacking...My Queen, there will be no one to relieve us. Two months, two years...it does not matter, the Targaryens can wait until we starve, that is assuming they do not take this fortress by Storm"

"Storm's end has never been taken!" She replied stubbornly

"Until now. Even if you loot every sept in all the Stormlands, the coin will not last forever and the men here WILL have a mutiny, and that is not to mention the dragons...what response do you have for the dragons?"

"SH-Shoot them! Arrows, crossbows, something, anything!" Argella did not like what this knight was saying. No one would EVER betray her.

"Send envoys to the Targaryens" The knight counseled "Swear fealty to them. It is the best course of action, my Queen. Few are willing to die for a cause as doomed as yours..."

"Never" She replied immediately "You wish for me to give up my crown without fighting? What type of king...Queen...does that? I am not craven. These cunts invaded my lands and killed my father, I will fight them even if I die doing it...besides, they will certainly wed me to that bastard...you are certainly not suggesting that a Queen weds a lowborn bastard?"

The knight shrugged

"The bastard is a brave man, it seems."

"It would be humiliating!"

"There has been a bastard Storm King in the past, my Queen..."

Argella snapped

"OUT! OUT!"

Both the men left and she was left alone...

Being Queen wasn't a very fun deal thus far...

Oh well, death before dishonor!

Argella would see her father very soon, most likely.

...

Parleys were not something that Argella had ever prepared for.

Unfortunately, her first one was with the Targaryen princess...

Immediately upon laying eyes on this Rhaenys Targaryen, Queen Argella was sure of one thing.

She didn't like the brother fucker.

Rhaenys landed right on HER castle with the thrice-damned dragon that made Argella's soldiers piss on their breeches.

The woman was beautiful...curse her. She was more beautiful than any other Argella had seen before, and, worse, seemed to be aware of it. Rhaenys had a happy, polite expression but Argella was sure this woman was a smug snake. CURSE HER! (Argella was NOT jealous of the looks or the dragon)

The Storm queen did gain a petty form of revenge, however. She purposefully placed her throne on a high spot so that Rhaenys would have to look up and hurt her neck.

It wasn't much, but Argella was going to take it.

The despicable enemy looked left and right as if assessing her opposition...from the smile she wore, clearly, Rhaenys wasn't too afraid of Argella's army...damn her!

"Greetings, Queen Argella. May I assume you are to join my brother's kingdom without a fuss?"

"No" Argella replied with grit teeth and narrowed eyes "You are not"

"Please" Rhaenys seemed to repress a laugh "Please, do not tell me you intend to fight. There is no...there is no need for further bloodshed. My brother, King Aegon, is a very generous man. Swear fealty to him and you shall be safe from any invaders...in fact, it is unbecoming for a woman of your station to be unwed. Lord Orys would provide you with everything you need in a husband..."

"You two killed my father."

Rhaenys attempted to seem considerate.

"Ah, that...King Argillac died as a warrior, there was no humiliation or shame I assure you...why don't we put all the unpleasantness behind us and think of the future? Lord Orys is strong, honorable, and faithful. Your father would not have wanted you to throw your life away"

"Wrong" Argella replied "He would be ashamed if I surrendered. Bitch. Go tell your cunt siblings that they will only win bones and blood and ashes if they take my castle"

Rhaenys looked like she'd been slapped

"Did you call me-"

"I called you exactly what you are, GET OUT OF MY LAND!"

The Targaryen seemed to be repressing intense murderous intent, gripping the reigns of her dragon tightly

"You have a moon. A moon to yield. Or I will turn you into bones and ashes as you have asked. None are coming to save you" Rhaenys addressed the peasant "When this keep is reduced to rubble, when your sons and brothers and fathers are killed, remember who was it that brought it upon you through pride and foolishness"

The dragon whipped the ground with her tail and roared, terrifying the garrison on the walls before flying away. Argella wasn't scared though, she wasn't a little coward!

After the dragon's departure, peasants and troops alike exchanged looks with one another.

Argella decided that they might need some encouragement

"Do not fear them, friends" She tried to sound cheerful "Most of you will die, but you will have done your duty to the crown!"

That was, obviously, going to be extremely effective at increasing morale. Nothing was more important to the lowborn than serving the nobility, dying with their duty fulfilled was essentially the best thing they could ever hope to do.

Argella then asked her blacksmiths to forge armor and weapons for her, she might not know how to fight, but it would be cowardly for her not to. Her father always led from the front, so she was going to do the exact same thing...Tis not what ladies were supposed to do, but desperate times, desperate measures!

Unfortunately for Argella Durrandon, the second she dazed off into sleep, some individuals decided that they were not being paid enough for this and that they liked living, so they killed her guards, stripped her of her clothes, and also gagged her so she couldn't scream before delivering her to the Targaryens.

Argella absolutely could not understand why anyone would betray her.

Anyway.

She regretted nothing.

Fuck all Targaryens, she prayed that from her line revenge would come against the DRAGONSPAWN!