Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Remus tucks his notepad safely into his rucksack, glancing around the Vegas visitor’s PT room one last time to confirm he hasn’t forgotten anything.

It looks clear, and he's left it neat and tidy. Thankfully, Remus hasn't needed to use the room much, and it had contained everything he’d needed to tape Logan’s fingers back together. But it felt sterile. He feels a pang of longing for his comfortable office back in Gryffindor, with all of the small tweaks and additions over the years that entirely makes it his.  

Remus slings his backpack on, and sighs. He can acknowledge, privately to himself, that some of the discomfort he's feeling is down to being in Vegas. Being near him. Remus pauses, takes a deep breath and swallows it down.

He leaves those thoughts where they are. It was over, now. They'd all be on the plane back to Gryffindor, tomorrow, and Remus is almost in the clear. At least, until the next time. 

He may not enjoy coming to Vegas, but he certainly found any win against the Golden Knights rather sweet. And Remus had watched him get so frustrated tonight, fail constantly against Blizzard at all turns and smash a stick when his last attempt failed. Remus, although he knew it was petty, had rather enjoyed the show. He always did, but he put in a little extra effort for his congratulations to Kasey on his shut-out. The tall player had seemed quietly pleased, at Remus's soft comments.    

Remus tries to brush off his thoughts, and realises he's been standing silently in the office for the last minute or two. He looks at the clock, and knows Arthur will be wanting to finish up and get the team on the bus. It was getting late. Remus shakes his head, tiredly. He needs to get a move on and get out of the past. 

He checks the room once more for good luck, before shouldering his bag and ducking out the room. Remus swings it shut behind him, the corridor quiet. He's starting to smile as he turns, warmed by the cheerful celebration he can hear from the Lion's locker-room. 

Remus abruptly slams into a solid wall of muscle, bouncing off it to crash into the door behind him. He feels stunned, but automatically opens his mouth to apologise, and then jerks. Remus finally spots exactly who is in front of him. Too late, of course. 

“Hey there, Moony,” Fenrir Greyback grins, leaning in close. Remus jolts back instinctively, but the handle of the door is digging painfully into his spine, and he has exactly nowhere to go. His heart is hammering, and blood rushes in his ears.  

“It's fucking hysterical seeing you in this kit.” Fenrir tugs tauntingly at the Gryffindor staff shirt Remus has on.

And Remus can’t say a word, because his heart is about to erupt out of his throat. Fenrir is here. Right in front of Remus. He hasn’t been this close in years, not since- Remus swallows the saliva that has flooded his mouth. 

Fenrir hasn't been this close since Remus's shoulder. 

Fenrir leans in even more, and a very old and almost childish instinct keeps Remus very, very still.  

The corridor is empty. Remus's team is behind the door though, they’re close. Someone could walk out any second. Fenrir, he can’t- he won’t-, Remus is sure he won't-

“Couldn’t quite get there, could you. Next best thing I guess.” And Fenrir abruptly shoves a hand against the door by Remus's head. 

Remus feels himself flinch, as if in slow motion.

Because Fenrir has cruelly reached out, right over Remus’s bad shoulder. Because of course he fucking has. The flicker of anger, frustration at the utter disregard from Fenrir, is enough to find his tongue again.  

“Fuck off, Fen,” Remus manages, but he can hear how strangled he sounds, and knows the words lack conviction.

Fenrir only laughs, and then actually grips Remus's shoulder.

A wild panic takes over, and Remus won't ever be able to remember the next few seconds. Blind animalistic fear takes over his body, and it's enough to get him free.

Remus comes back to himself, panting, several feet away from Fenrir. He's between Remus and the Lion's locker-room, and he's smirking. He knows exactly what he just did, and-   

Noise abruptly spills into the corridor, and Remus jerks, looking up desperately.  

“Loops?” And James is suddenly there, beyond Fenrir, looking between him and Remus with a bit of concern. "Alright?" 

Fenrir is still facing Remus, and he has a horrible knowing smirk on his face. Remus feels ill, because Fenrir knows that the Lions don't know about their history. The wordless threat, that he might tell them how badly Remus failed, hovers just out of sight.   

Thomas appears just as abruptly in the doorway, and he doesn’t hesitate to come down the corridor to stand beside James. He’s huge, and looming, and Remus is so goddamn grateful that they're there that for a moment, his eyes heat. It makes it so much easier to breath, with the pair of them so close. 

“Fuck off, Greyback, what do you want?” Snaps Thomas, squaring up immediately when Fenrir finally turns away from Remus with a last leer.

Fenrir just raises his hands, shrugging casually. “Just passing through."

Remus swallows, shit, because are they going to believe Fenrir? Are they going to just walk away again and leave them?

James is still looking between him and Remus, carefully. Remus is watching James a little desperately, so he sees the flicker of surprise, at Fenrir's next drawled statement. "Fancied catching up with an old acquaintance, boys. That's all.” And Fenrir held his hands out, palms up, as if asking for understanding.  

Don't believe him, Remus begs, silently.  

"Lions only." James replies, tone hard and unfriendly, watching Fenrir with an unyielding expression on his face. Remus might have sagged in relief, if Fenrir wasn't three feet away. 

Thomas jerks his head. "You heard him," he takes a small step forward, threat clear. "Clear off."  

Fenrir shrugs again, that same fucking habit, but his smirk is particularly nasty when he glances back at Remus. And then he's waving the others off, "Alright, mates." And he turns to face Remus. "So good to see you, Lupin." Fenrir remarks, false with oily intent, and then he's breaching the few steps of shelter that separate them. 

Fenrir reaches out, as if to squeeze his shoulder, and Remus flinches out of the way. He can't stop himself, even with James and Thomas watching, and he feels himself turning to watch Fenrir as he passes by, like a sheep watching a wolf circle. 

"Real good." Fenrir repeats, and then laughs, swaggering away. 

Remus swallows, eyes fixed, until Fenrir rounds the corner and disappears.

“Alright?” Asks James cautiously, stepping forward. Like he often does, he swings an arm around Remus's shoulders, warmly. “What did he want? Was he talking shit?” Thankfully James has come in from Remus's left, and James isn't actually holding his bad shoulder, fingers draped over the front of Remus's chest loosely.

And there’s something so warm about James, so lively and full of kindness, that Remus instinctively relaxes a bit. The familiarity of the move helps too. James does this, not Fenrir. Never Fenrir.  

“'Course." Remus manages, but his throat is still strangled. "Yeah, he was just talking some shit.” He's rather proud that his voice is almost normal, and certainly level enough for James to relax, and lead them down the corridor.  

“Arsehole," James remarks, casually. "Probably here to stir up trouble. He's such a sore loser.” He sounds alright, but as they reach the doorway and James releases him, Remus glances up nervously. Had he seen Remus flinch?  

He finds James watching him, rather carefully. There's a hint of curiosity there, too, when James asks, “What was he saying, about you two being old acquaintances?” 

Remus looks away, back down the corridor. It's an excuse, and it gives him a moment to take a solidifying. “Probably just seen me on the side-lines for a bit." He clears his throat. That didn't make much sense. He had to say something else. "And we, um, we went to the same university.”  

“Did you?” James looks a bit startled, like he might ask more, and Remus can feel his shoulders curling in. But a sudden voice, Sirius, calls to James from the locker-room and he only squeezes Remus’s arm before disappearing through the door.     

Thomas catches Remus though, before he can follow, face oddly serious. “Hey," he checks. "You alright?” And his voice is concerned. Maybe he’s seen something James has missed, a little of the panic that Remus can’t quite hide. His heart is still pounding in his chest, and he's going to have to try, to keep his voice level. 

Remus nods, and lies as best he can. “Of course, yeah.”

Thomas frowns, but nods. He shoots one last look down the corridor, and waits for Remus to pass through the doorway ahead of him. It's nice, having Thomas at his back. And Thomas, rather firmly, 

He sidles up to Moody, who claps his arm gently in welcome. “Sent the boys for you, sorry." He apologised, and Remus thinks rather dizzily, thank you. "Arthur just wanted you to hear the last bit.”

Remus nods, utterly blank. “Thanks, yeah. Sorry," his voice sounds so strained. "I got caught up with something.” 

Moody nods, but shoots him a quick look. "You alright?" He checks, gruffly, and Remus nods automatically.  

"Yeah." Remus swallows. "Thanks." And then, as if he knows Remus needs a rescue, Arthur is raising his hand and the room conveniently falls silent. It's not the only time this evening that Remus has been rescued in the knick of time, but Moody is forced to look away, to give up on questioning Remus.    

“Alright boys, good win tonight. We’ve got our flight out tomorrow morning. Loops is here for any niggles that show up in the morning, and fair enough if you have them." Arthur looks a little grim. "It was a great win, but those boys play rough, so see him if you need to." Remus feels several players glance his way, and he nods vacantly, smiling automatically, until they turn back to Arthur. "We’ll watch tape on the plane. So get some food, get some sleep, and we'll debrief properly tomorrow.” 

Remus beats the team out. He helps with the gear, loading it onto the bus that waits outside the doors and enjoying the burn of the heavy pallets. It helps, to kill off some of the adrenaline still coursing around his chest. And once he’s done, officially off duty, he retreats inside the warmer entry way.

He’s waiting for Greg to arrive. Remus had been delighted, and really rather touched, at the respond he’d had from the three guys he’d gone through his course with that had ended up in Vegas. He’s only managed to successfully catch up with them once or twice, but whenever the Lion’s come through he makes a point of reaching out. 

Remus can’t help the instinct that keeps his back against the wall, that keeps his eyes flicking about constantly, to make sure he’s still alone. He hadn’t wanted to split off from the team, hadn’t wanted to really go too far alone, but he’d forced himself too. Greg was only a few minutes away, and the team would be out shortly anyway, and Remus is fine. He's fine. 

His fingers curl into a fist, and he grips his phone with his other hand in a white-knuckled grip. He's not fine, at all, but he's hoping he will be soon. 

There's a soft click from somewhere nearby, like a door closing, and Remus startles. His eyes scan again for any movement, but the entry hall is quiet and empty. 

His phone suddenly buzzes, and after one last instinctive check, Remus glances down. He scans the group chat, smiling as replies start rapidly popping through.

[#OverdueReunion]

Greg

[8:39pm] Will swing by @Remus and pick you up, be at the stadium in about 10 mins. 

Remus

[8:40pm] Cheers Greg! Will see you soon, just inside the doors. 

Liam

[8:42pm] See you soon boys, will grab us a table, I’m not far away.

Lewis

[8:43pm] Will be a bit late sorry but will be there asap!

Liam

[8:43pm] Raise your hand if you’re surprised Lewis is going to be late.

[8:44pm] Wow. Look at the total absence of hands ...

Remus

[8:45pm] First round on least 30 minutes?

Lewis

[8:45pm] Fuck off @Liam :) why did I miss you @Remus?

Remus laughs once he reads Lewis’s latest message. He scrolls a bit higher, relaxing a little more against his patch of wall, and finds the name of the bar Lewis had suggested. As Remus habitually does, he brings up the menu and almost groans looking at the options. His stomach aches, empty after a long day. He's been a little too anxious today to manage much food, and he's finally starting to switch off. 

There's a sudden bark of laughter, and a break of the peaceful arena as more voices sound. Remus looks up, smiling rather fondly as he hears another laugh. That had sounded like Thomas. Just as he thinks it, Thomas emerges from the corridor with Kasey at his side.  

"Oooh," Thomas calls, and the pair lead the team, both stepping to the side and coming to a halt beside Remus. "You got a hot date, Loops?" 

Remus rolls his eyes, catching the slight smile of amusement on Kasey's face, and snorts. "Afraid not." He smiles though, properly. "Catching up with some university mates, one of them is coming to get me." He glances outside again, but it's just the bus, no waiting Greg.  

Thomas pulls a faux hurt expression onto his face, eyes widening sadly. “And we’re not invited. I see how it is.” He gives Kasey a sad look, who rolls his eyes and glances at Remus.   

"Have a good night." Kasey says, quietly, and Remus nods. 

"Cheers, Kase. You too." 

Thomas raises an eyebrow. "And what about me?"

"Sorry, closed invite only." Remus teases, and Thomas snorts. "Enjoy your sleep, though. I'm genuinely jealous." Remus grins at Thomas. "Not."  

"Rude." Thomas says, grinning widely, and Remus laughs. 

"Stop your teasing." Kasey says, shoving Thomas lightly to get him moving, and Remus waves the pair off, chuckling to himself.

"Have a good night!" Remus calls after them, and Thomas pauses, rather impressively halting Kasey's momentum.  

“Enjoy your night on the town without us.” Thomas calls back, then says more seriously, “Just don't drink too much. It's never fun to be hungover on a plane.” He pulls a sad face, and Remus laughs again, shaking his head. Thomas could make him feel so light, sometimes. 

"Noted." He says, dryly, and watches Kasey manhandle Thomas out towards the bus.  

More of the team emerge, in pairs and threes. Most of them pause to clap his back or fist bump Remus on their way out, but the majority seem rather more tired than Thomas. It was usually the way, though. Thomas seemed to have boundless enthusiasm, and energy. 

“Have fun!” Calls James, beside Finn, who waggles his fingers dramatically in farewell. Logan shoves Finn ahead, and raises his hand with his taped fingers to wave too. 

“Don’t you dare copy him, Tremblay," Remus warns. "I’ve only just taped those back together!” He raises an unimpressed eyebrow, trying to copy Moody, but Logan only laughs before the group move on.

Arthur and Moody appear near the end, most of the team ahead and already climbing onto the bus.  

"Thanks heaps." Remus says, gratefully, slipping his fairly heavy pack off his shoulder. He'd asked Moody before helping with the gear. He pockets his phone and wallet, and passes the bag across. 

“Course." Moody says, gruffly. "Bus leaves at quarter to seven. I’ll drop it in your room.” Moody takes the backpack easily, slinging it over his shoulder beside his own.

“Cheers again.” Remus says, smiling gratefully at Arthur as he wishes Remus a good night, and then the pair move away, in step. 

Sirius and Pascal are the last out, talking quietly together in soft French, but both of them look up at Remus as they pass. Sirius quirks his mouth a little in a half-smile, and Dumo smiles warmly. 

Remus raises a hand in farewell as they move away, but doesn't try to interrupt their conversation.  

The area around Remus is weirdly silent once they’re all on board, and even more so when the bus peels out of it's space a few minutes later.  

Remus is almost always on it, but tonight was the only evening he had to even attempt a catch up. And the game hadn't gone as late as it normally did. The other team has probably already disappeared out the other the main entrance, though. As often happens at away games, mainly because of the Lion's habitually longer cool downs, the lights at the rink were already being switched off, crowds long gone. 

Eventually, gratefully, Remus sees the lights of the truck as it pulls up. There's a familiar blonde figure in the drivers seat, and Remus ducks outside into the cold, hurrying towards the silver car and hopping in. 

“Greg, hey,” Remus realises he's beaming, settling back into the seat comfortably. Greg, just as kind as Remus remembers, leans immediately over the middle console to give Remus a warm hug.

“Remus, my man." Greg pulls back, grinning broadly. "It is damn good to see you.”    

Remus grins around at as the table erupts into more laughter, before he takes a last sip of his drink, and nudges Lewis. "Sorry, mate," and the far taller guy shifts easily out of the way, as Remus climbs from the booth. "Don't drink mine." Remus calls back, and Greg flashes him the same trickster grin he'd worn so often at University. 

"No promises!" He calls back, above the noise of the bar. 

Remus is laughing, as he turns away. The bar is packed, and it’s getting smoky and hot. It seems to be one of the more popular destinations in town, judging by how busy it it, even though it was only early. 

Remus has to slip past a few rather huge guys to get to the loo, and he wonders briefly if they might be hockey players. Remus doesn’t wait to see if he recognises any faces though, and they move out of his way easily enough. None of them are in jerseys that he recognises, which is good, because any hockey players around here are probably part of Fenrir's team.

Remus is heading back to the table when he feels his phone buzz in his back pocket. He realises a second slower than he normally would have that isn’t just a text, and he pulls it out to see [Mum calling], her picture flashing on the screen. 

He's only a few steps from the booth, so looks up and waves the phone at the table. Greg nods an acknowledgement, pretending to reach out and nick the drink Remus had left behind, with a grin.

Remus is still laughing as he turns and heads towards the door that leads into the mostly empty smoking area. The fresh air is a shock, but clears his head a bit. He clicks accept, and brings the phone to his ear. 

"Hey, Mum." Remus says, lowering his voice a bit, though only one table is occupied. It's been claimed by a few young smokers, and Remus heads down the courtyard a bit further, where the area opens out. He leans back against the brick wall, comfortably. “How are you?"  

“How are you, love? What an awesome game!” Hope trills cheerfully.

"Good, thanks." Remus chuckles, because he can hear his Dad and Jules talking loudly together in the background. “Are they reliving James’s last goal?”

Hope laughs, lightly. “Of course they are." She sounds fond. "Your boys did really well, love.”

“They sure did," Remus can hear the pride in his voice. "It was such a great game." Hope hums along, and Remus looks up at a yell, wincing. He shouldn't be too long. "Hey, I’m really sorry Mum, but I’m actually out with Greg and the boys." Remus shifts, easing the brick that was catching at his shoulder blade uncomfortably. "Can I give you guys a bell tomorrow when I’m home?”   

“Oh, Greg from uni?” She asks, and he nods. 

"Yeah, from the course." And before, of course. But it seems better in Remus's mind to tie Greg to PT, rather than before that.  

Her voice goes a bit distant. “Lyall, he’s out with Greg from uni!”

“Nice one!” Comes his Dad’s tinny voice, and Remus laughs again, warmed by more than just the beer, now. His family were precious as hell to him. "That’s so lovely, Remus.” Hope gushes, sounding pleased. 

“Yeah, it's great." And it is, just as easy as it had been years ago. "Nothing much has changed." He hears another yell in the background, and smiles to himself. "Do you reckon I could say a quick hi to Jules, please?" 

“Of course, love. He’s still awake, although he should be in bed!" Hope sounds amused, though. "Jules," she calls. "Your brother wants to say goodnight!" 

Remus doesn't catch his brother's response, too far away, but hums as his Mum continues, "It's so good to hear your voice, love, we’ll chat tomorrow when you’re back." 

"Sounds good, thank you. Have a good night!" He wishes her luck getting Julian into bed, actually, if he was still this excited so late.

"Safe travels, we love you!”

“Thanks for calling Mum, love you.” And then the phone crackles, as it's obviously passed from one hand to the next.

“REMUS!” Shouts Julian, and Remus pulls the phone away from his ear with a chuckle.

“Hey little bro, thanks for deafening me." Remus smiles, hearing him laugh delightedly. "How're you doing? Did you enjoy the game?”

“It was amazing! Will you tell Sirius his second goal was the best one?”

“I sure will, but it'll have to be tomorrow. I wanted to say a quick hi and hear your voice, Jules,” Remus hears his little brother laugh again down the end of the phone, and warmth floods his chest. “But I’m out with some mates from university, so we’ll have to have a proper chat tomorrow, alright?” 

“Sounds great!” And he sounds so happy that it makes Remus smile again. Everything always seems pretty delightful to his nine year old brother. “Dad wants to say hi too, and Mum is saying I should be in bed," he didn't sound particularly interested. "Bye Re, love you!” And then Jules is gone too quickly for Remus to even attempt to reply, and he's too busy laughing anyway. Remus settles more comfortably against his patch of brick wall, waiting for his Dad now, and thinks, so much for a quick phone call. 

“Remus, love, how are you?” His Dad, and Remus can hear the smile in his voice. And then more distantly, “I know Hope, but I just want to say hi!”

“Hey Dad.” Remus is grinning, glancing inside at the writhing mass of people and rather relieved to have a break. The cool air has cleared his head a bit, even with the smoke from nearby. “I'm good yeah, it was a good game. And it's really good to see some of the old crowd.”

“I bet, that’s awesome." His Dad sounds so pleased. "Oh, it was a fab game Re, and I want to hear all about it from your perspective-" his Dad always did that, and Remus's heart thuds with warm affection. "But your mum is signalling that we need to leave you to it, so we’ll have a longer chat tomorrow eh? No game tomorrow?” 

“Nope, no game. Just training in the evening." Remus is a little relieved, actually. "Sounds good Dad, I’ll text you when I'm home.” There's a sudden pause, and Remus frowns slightly, pressing the phone a bit more tightly against his ear. "Hey, Dad?" Remus shifts a little. "Everything alright?”   

“Yes, yes of course.” But there's another slight, rather telling, pause.   

“Dad?”

“Just,” His Dad heaves a loud breath. “I was thinking that it’ll be good, when we hear you’re back in Gryffindor.” 

Remus sighs heavily, tilting his head back and looking at the dark sky. It was clouding over, with no stars to speak off. “Yeah." Remus can't deny that he's looking forward to getting home, too. "I'll be glad to be home." His Dad hums, and it's an invitation. Remus caves, instantly. "It'll be really good to be home." He can hear how gutted he sounds. 

"Has everything been alright, Re?" His Dad is speaking more softly, but abruptly, he sounds far more concerned.

"It's been fine." Remus lies, soothingly. "I haven’t seen him at all apart from when he was on the ice.” He feels a decent twinge of guilt at the lie, but it won't help if his Dad is panicking. “It’s been fine." Remus forces himself to sound steady. "Better than fine, actually, with the team around." He can picture James and Thomas, arrayed against Fenrir, and blinks, drawing his attention back. "And it's been great to see the boys again, as well, like I said." His Dad hums again. "And we’re on the plane tomorrow, so I won’t see him again.”   

"Alright, Re." It's soft, understanding.

“Look, please try not to worry about him, yeah?" Remus wishes his Dad didn't know enough to worry. "I promise it's all over. Okay? So try not to worry, good luck with getting Jules asleep, and we can catch up properly tomorrow." 

“Alright Remus." His Dad gives way, before there's a muffled call from further away that makes Remus smile. "Yes, Hope, I’m saying goodbye now! Let me talk to my son!” And his Dad laughs even as he's saying it, and he can hear Jules saying something too and Remus can’t help but chuckle down the phone, again.

“Alright, I better let you go, Dad. Chat tomorrow.”

“Night, Re, love you.”

“Love you too, night.” And Remus hangs up, moving to slip his phone back into his pocket with a soft grin.  

He realises suddenly that there’s someone beside him, and Remus assumes they must be trying to get past him to get to the other tables down the way. He shifts out of their way, apologetically. "Sorry, mate." And he looks up, before he freezes.  

“I’m not your fucking mate, Lupin.”

Remus’s heart-rate sky rockets, and the lurch of panic hits him so forcefully that he folds backward towards the wall, breathless.

Remus blinks, and there's a sudden twisting fist at his collar, and he's shoved back into the wall with a thud. Oof, and the air is knocked from his chest. 

Fenrir Greyback leans over him, pinning Remus harshly, and Remus can't breathe. “What the fuck were you saying on the phone there? Were you fucking talking about me?” He looks drunk, cheeks flushed and eyes a little unfocused. Remus's mouth opens, but he can't find any words.  

The hand at his neck tightens, and the bricks dig into his back, and Remus can't breathe. 

Normally, Remus can acknowledge that he's shorter than a lot of the Lions team without worrying overly about it. He's stronger than he looks, and solid enough now.

But stood here, pinned uselessly by Fenrir's sheer heavy mass, Remus feels very, very small. 

Fenrir is good at being an enforcer. It's one of his main jobs, on his team. He's intimidating as fuck, twisting glare fixed horribly on Remus, and heavy enough that Remus can't move anywhere. And the panic is building, and building, and Remus can't breathe. 

“Don’t you know this is my fucking bar?” Fenrir snarls, shaking Remus until he rattles back against the harsh brick wall. 

“I’m here with my mates, just-“ Remus almost wishes he never found his voice, because he sounds utterly pathetic. He cuts himself off before he can beg to be released, but Fenrir shakes him again and Remus grunts as his head sparks off the stone. 

“Hey," calls a sudden, uncertain voice. "You guys alright?”

Remus looks up dizzily, no, shit, I need help- but his tongue is twisted with fear, and he can't say a word. Over Fenrir's shoulder, Remus spots two of the guys who had been smoking, now standing, peering at them worriedly. 

“Fuck off!” Fenrir snarls, not even bothering to turn around and glare at them. He's too busy glaring at Remus. Fenrir still has his hood up, and he's in a black jersey, so he'll be anonymous.

Remus swallows, shifting painfully against the wall as the hand at the nape of his neck twists him back. 

“Let him go, eh?” Says the other guy at the table, standing to join his friends and drawing himself up. This guy could easily be a hockey player, with his build, but he only looks barely twenty one. And his worried expression, quick glances at his friends, clearly shows how out of his depth he feels.

One of the other girls at his table hovers, tugging at his shoulder urgently, looking frightened. But to his credit, the boy doesn't give way. He watches Fenrir, and says firmly, "Just leave him alone, go about your night, and everyone wins." He sounds like he's good at winning arguments, but Remus winces, because that comment will undoubtably set Fenrir off, after the evening he'd had.  

“I said, fuck off!” Fenrir barks, turning towards the table. He releases Remus with a last shove and takes a single aggressive towards the table. "Do we have a fucking problem?" And he looks like he's about to lunge at the boy closest. 

Remus grabs for Fenrir's arm, jerking him to a stop because, he had been about to lunge at the boy closest, fucking- And suddenly, utterly panicked that Fenrir is going to attack the other bystanders, Remus finds his voice. “Don’t Fen," he finally sounds firm. "Just fucking leave them!”

Remus is so much more assertive, now that it's someone else in danger. 

It’s always easier when it’s like that, when someone else needs defending.  

It was always easier, as long as it wasn’t himself. 

“Fucking shut your trap,” Fenrir snarls viciously, swinging back around. Remus sees that Fenrir's fist is raised, but only too late. 

Oh, Remus's head slams back into the brick wall hard enough for him to see an odd flash of light. He hears the crack of his head a few seconds late, and he's suddenly so dizzy he tilts sideways. Fenrir's hand is tight at his neck though, pinning him against the wall. 

Things get worse, from there. And it seems to go on for a long, long time. 

There’s a lot of shouting above Remus's head, and then the hand pinning his collar releases him, and Remus collapses limply to the ground in a puddle of clumsy limbs. He sprawls on his side, and then there are voices. 

“Fucking hell," cries a voice, horrified. "Fuck, go and get the bouncer James, Kate, go with him-” orders the voice, and then there are hands on Remus's shoulders. Remus instinctively flinches away from them, but hisses a breath through his clenched teeth as his chest spasms with pain.

"Shit, you're alright-" the boy's panic was clear, but Remus was shuffled gently upright, until he was leaning back against the wall. It makes it easier to breathe, but Remus wheezes, because shit, shit- He can't really see much, the dark courtyard a messy blur.  

“Oi, Kits, get them to ring a fucking ambulance while they're there!” Another voice, on his other side, belonging to a woman this time, footsteps, and Remus blinks dizzily.

Remus squints. He can't really see properly, out of his one eye. Fuck, his whole head is throbbing in pain. 

“Hey, can you hear me?" Someone squeezes his wrist gently, and Remus rolls his head vaguely in her direction. His right eye is fucked, he can't see anything. He thinks it might have swollen shut. "Have you got friends inside? Can we find someone for you?” Even a little blurry, Remus can see how panicked and pale the poor woman looks. 

Remus opens his mouth, and chokes, swallowing blood. His nose pulsates with a hot, red heat. Fuck. Fuck. 

“Merde,” says the young woman, and Remus is gently kept upright, and he realises he was beginning to sag. "What is your name?" 

Remus tries to answer, but he chokes on the iron tasting blood trailing down the back of his throat. The hand gently pets his arm with another soft curse.

Ouch, fuck, his chest hurts. His entire face throbs. His- Remus chokes a bit on another breath, and he's losing track of the voices above his head. 

"Hey, wait, wake up-" 

Remus blinks open his eye again, a little unsure when he’d closed it. 

The tall guy from before, at the table, is crouched right beside him. He looks even younger, now, fear obvious. And his friend is crouched on Remus's right, gently supporting his arm. Her eyes are wide.   

“Qui pouvons-nous demander?” She asks, suddenly, and Remus blinks, unable to translate the words when his head is so dizzy.

She shoots a concerned look at her friend, and tries again in English. “Can we get someone? Are you having friends here?”

Her accent is nice, comforting, because it reminds him of Logan.    

“Greg,” he manages, and swallows more blood. His nose feels broken. 

The girl disappears abruptly, and the boy takes over keeping Remus semi-upright against the wall.

“Fuck, man." He hisses. "That was so awful. Did you know him? What the fuck. He just seemed to come straight for you!” The stranger turns away to grab something. “But look, I found your phone!”

Remus can't really get his fingers or arm to work, so the young guy   helps Remus by tucking the phone back into his pocket.

And Remus manages a weak "-thank you" that slurs at the edges.  

The door slams open behind them.

“What the actual fuck-” Says Greg, loud and hard. The stranger shifts away immediately, expression going a bit panicked as Remus blinks at him.

“The man that did it is gone," he says, hurriedly. "My mates have gone to call the police.” And then he backs away, evidently realising the risk of hovering over a beaten up guy when his three tall and intimidating friends have appeared, and Greg is suddenly crouching in front of Remus.

“Jesus fucking hell, Moony,” and Remus quirks a corner of his lip up, ouch, blinking his one good eye.

And Lewis appears at his other side, and Liam, and both boys look horrified, surrounding Remus easily as they crouch down.

Greg is patting his shoulder gently, asking him questions, but Remus drifts a bit. He’s glad they’re there. He can't really understand what's going on. 

And there are more voices, and a bouncer is there saying something about the police, and Greg is telling him to stay awake, but it only feels like a few seconds later before he can see the lights flashing beyond the fence. And Greg is holding onto his arm, but Remus can't really understand him. 

Remus thinks he starts to lose bigger chunks of time, closing his eyes against the dizziness. 

The next time he blinks his eye open, there’s two police officers talking to Liam and Lewis a few metres away, and Greg is leaning in close to speak to Remus. “The medics are here, Moons, but I’m not going far. I’ll ride with you to the hospital, and Liam has said he'll take my car and give us a lift home later, alright?”

Remus blinks dazedly, but can’t quite find any words. Greg swayed in front of him, oddly, and Remus grunts when his chest catches. 

Greg squeezes his hand once more, soft brown eyes worried as he scans Remus’s face again. "Stay awake, I'm just going-" 

Remus blinks, and he’s gone, and it's Lewis holding him upright. "Easy, mate, Greg is just catching the medics up-" and Remus exhales shallowly, too painful to breathe normally. His lip stings, and it might've made Remus laugh at another time, that he was beaten bloody but his stinging lip still rated. 

“-been really out of it. He’s had a really bad concussion before, back at university.” Greg is somehow standing a few steps away, speaking to two uniformed people. One of whom is carrying a large red medic’s bag.

Remus blinks again, and the pair are kneeling down and smiling at him gently. “Hey, Remus. I’m Kate and this is Ben, we’re the team gonna be looking after you tonight. Can you tell me what hurts?”

And Remus blinks his left eye, his right swollen closed. He tries to raise his hand a little, gesture at his face because ouch, it all hurts.

“Yeah, everything looks pretty sore. I’m so sorry this has happened. Can you speak at all?” Kate is smiling warmly, a gentle hand on his shoulder, and then there’s something being put on his right finger, and something being wrapped around his upper arm. Something starts beeping rapidly. 

Remus tries to mumble something, but between his bloody nose which is really beginning to pound, and his torn lip, he can’t manage much.

She smiles encouragingly, and nods when her partner murmurs a quiet, “SATs about 97%, heart rate is 150.”

“You look like you’re in a lot of pain, Remus." Remus looks at her weakly. "Let us have a good look at you, and we'll figure some things out.” Kate’s voice is kind. And Remus looks blearily beyond her to see Greg watching on closely.

Liam has what looks like a very tight grip on Greg’s shoulder, and Remus remembers then that Greg had sometimes gotten into fights on the ice when they were younger, if someone had come after Remus. His frustrated and angry expression hasn't changed a bit.  

“I’ll get a line in while you do your checks, Kate. Reckon you’ve got anything broken? I’ve got some very sore looking fingers on his left hand, maybe his wrist too.”   

“Maybe nose, looks very swollen. Bad swelling over his right cheek, too. Could be a right orbit here.” Soft fingers gently touch around his face. He hears the scratch of a pen on paper and some crinkling of wrapping from his left, and Remus swallows. 

“Right, Remus, can you tell me where you are?”

Remus swallows, takes a breath, and manages to croak, "Bar." 

"Well done, Remus." Something is happening over on his right side, but he's struggling to track anything. He clings to Kate's kind voice, above everything else. “Do you remember what happened?”

A longer pause, before Remus remembers, and anxiety floods him. "Yeah," he rasps. To his horror, and embarrassment, he hears what might be his heart monitor speed up. Kate glances down, and then back at him kindly. She squeezes his right hand, very gently. "You're okay, Remus. We're going to help you, get you sorted. And the police are here, and your friends, so you're safe." 

Remus blinks slowly, dizziness getting worse. 

"Can you tell me, do you hurt anywhere apart from your face?”

“My,” Remus stumbles a bit over the words but she only waits patiently, hands hovering. "Chest 'nd hand." 

She nods. “Alright, we’ll assess your chest properly in a second. I’ve had a quick listen already. Are you struggling to breath, at all?”

“No.” Remus's throat is sore, though, like something squeezed it. Maybe someone did. Remus drifts a bit more, starting to feel cold as Kate lifts his shirt and starts examining his ribs.

“Got a couple of big bruises here, Ben.” Remus chokes on his next breath when gentle pressure presses against his right side, because ouch.

“Remus,” and something taps the back of his right hand for his attention. He manages to squint. “I’m going to put an IV line in, then we’ll see about some pain relief to get us on our way. Alright?”

“Thanks,” Remus manages, and the man smiles at him kindly. Remus thinks he's already forgotten the paramedic's name. Something cold runs over his hand, and he blinks.

“Okay, sharp scratch,” but Remus barely feels it. He more feels the line as it's threaded, and it’s an uncomfortable sensation in the back of his hand when the tape is pressed down. Remus feels his eyes close again. "Going to give you a starting dose of paracetamol here, Remus, and we'll get you something better on route." 

Remus swallows again, and his throat feels bruised. The noise is beginning to feel more painful than whatever is happening to his hand, the yelling and shouting from the bar spilling out around him.  

“Alright, Remus,” another gentle tap on his hand, “-we’re going to get you on the stretcher. Let us do the work, we’re going to keep you as still as possible.” Remus can’t quite get his eye open.

“Remus?” There's a pause, and then a slightly more firm- “Can you open your eyes for me please, Remus?”

He can’t quite manage it.

The noise is fading. His face feels hot but his chest is starting to feel cold. Something presses on his sternum, and it hurts. He squints, but he can’t lift his head or try to look and see. 

“We need to get moving Ben, I think he’s getting cold and shocky. Glasgow’s dropped to a nine, and he was communicating fine a few minutes ago. Might be a progressive head injury here.” An arm is slipping behind him, something pressing in to hold his head and neck still - and then he feels himself being shifted dizzyingly through space.

And then, somehow, he’s lying down on something firm. Remus briefly hears Greg’s voice, and then lots of other voices ouch, and its painfully bright before he’s outside again. He feels himself start to shiver, which aches. The flashing lights of the ambulance light up through his eyelids. 

Remus loses time.

Remus grunts, moans maybe, as a sudden movement up into space startles him, and then something warm is wrapped over his body, and Remus melts. He's too far gone to react to the rumble of a car starting around him.  

“You’re alright, mate. I’m here.”  

Greg?

Someone taps his hand, gently. “Hey mate, I'm going to give you some better pain relief now, Remus." Remus thinks, please, yes- "It might feel a bit odd, but just stay nice and relaxed for me.” Something moves around him, and Remus thinks, are we driving?

There’s an odd pressure going into the top of his hand, and Remus tries to twitch it away, but it’s pinned gently at his side by something warm. Remus frowns distantly, which hurts.

His fingers felt cold a second ago, but now there’s a weird warmth soaking up his arm. His head wavers oddly, like he's falling, even though he thinks he’s lying down. His next breath is a bit deeper, as finally the band across his chest finally eases. 

“Yeah, there you go. Bet that feels better, hey.”

And it does. Everything sort of, softens, and the sharp jagged flickers of pain sparking his face and chest drift a little further away.   

“Beautiful breaths there my friend, if you keep that up then we’ll be golden.” There’s a gentle tug on his arm, something being wrapped around his bicep. “I'm hooking you up to some monitors, and then you'll feel me checking out your chest. Just let me know if anything hurts, or if you need anything.”   

A warm hand slips under Remus's shirt, something sticky being pressed down on his chest in a few spots, and a few more again. ECG, his medical brain says, distantly. 

Remus is drifting on the decreasing pain, too far gone to ask what's happening. And then there’s beeping again. It’s a little slower than it was, Remus decides. That was, probably good? His clinical thought gets a little muddy, a little confused, and Remus fades again.

Something is readjusted on the end of Remus's finger, oxygenation, his head whispers vaguely, and someone hums beside him.

“Lovely, Remus. You’re doing really nicely on this end. I'm just going to  have a better look at your chest.”

Remus winces a moment later, because fuck.

“Alright, that’s a sore spot." The voice sounds apologetic. "I'm sorry Remus, I'm sorry about that.”

Remus's breath catches a bit in his tight throat, and though the pain is different and a bit distant, it's still breathtaking. Remus hears himself distantly, making an odd whining noise, as his chest pulls again.

“Keep breathing," a little more firmly. "In and out, nice and steady.” Someone squeezes his shoulder gently in reminder.

But Remus can’t, and the air whistles a little through his mouth, and it hurts.

“Alright Remus, you’re alright. That pain relief is still kicking in, hey.”

“Is he okay? What’s going on?”

Greg? 

Remus feels his chest spasm again, and only manages a wheezy breath, whimpering a little on exhale. 

“He’s okay, he’s pretty sore though, and I touched a bad spot." There's something being moved around him, the noise of a cabinet opening, maybe. "Hey Remus, your oxygen sats just dropped a tiny bit and I want to make it as easy as I can for you, so I’m going to put you on an oxygen mask, it’ll feel a bit hard on your face but I'll avoid the sore spots.”

Something lands very gently over his mouth, but somehow nothing touches the really sore parts and the next breath he sucks in is a bit easier.

“You’re doing really well, Remus. Keep breathing, just like that.”

Eventually the pain eases away again, warmth leaching across his chest, and Remus sags back against the bed.  

The pain in his chest is only a memory, now, and his throat and hand feel distant. Remus is warmer, and although his head feels like he’s still swaying, he finally relaxes. He feels safe.  

“Sit forward a bit, if you like. You can talk to him. He’ll still be able to hear you, he’s just drifting a bit.” The male voice is gentle, and very calm.   

“I’m here Moons,” and a warm hand curls around his, gently linking their fingers. “I’ve got your phone, and your wallet. I'm so sorry man, that this happened. You’re gonna be fine though.” And someone is still speaking, but Remus drifts away, before he can hear much of it.

Chapter Text

Sirius waits patiently for his team to assemble in the lobby, predicting that many of them will be yawning as they appear. It's still early enough that the hotel seems weirdly empty, like a movie set.

Sirius drums his leg thoughtfully, thinking back to the play that had been bothering him from the previous night. Arthur had been pleased with the win, and how their defence had stood up against the Knights, but Sirius knew they could do better.  Everyone had seemed tiredly content with their win the night before, and Sirius mostly had been too. Getting an actual decent night sleep had been pretty incredible, too.

Sirius greets James and Kasey when they emerge from the lift, and they move to settle beside him on the couch. "Alright, Cap?" James asks, smiling brightly.

Sirius nods. "Yeah, thanks." He can't quite manage James's level of cheerfulness, but he smiles slightly. "You?" 

"Grand." James says, stretching and yawning. Kasey dips his head slightly when Sirius glances at him, though he looks a little tired. 

It's another peaceful few minutes, James typing on his phone and Sirius mainly enjoying the peace, before more of the team begin to spill out of the elevators and stairs.  

With a burst of sudden noise, the cubs spill out of the lift, Leo laughing as Logan trips out the doors. "Oi!" Logan cries, and Finn is smirking as he follows him out. 

"Morning!" Leo greets, and Sirius sends him a small smile. The team chatters away, but most of them leave Sirius in peace. James is closest, beside him on the couch, and he's talking with Kasey. But there's something in the way James keeps glancing back at Sirius, smirking or smiling at a joke, as if to include Sirius, that warms him. 

Sirius hears a familiar voice, and glances towards reception. He frowns, slightly. Arthur was leaning over the hotel counter, talking intently with the man there. Moody was beside him, face twisted with worry. Abruptly, Moody nods, and turns to stalk towards the lifts. His expression is enough for several of the team to pile out of his way, and Moody doesn't even glance their way as he disappears through the doors. 

Sirius frowns after him, and spots Finn peering after him too. "Far out," Finn says. "Moody looks right hacked off."  

“Why is he being angry?” Kuny asks, shooting a curious look at Sirius, who is still frowning thoughtfully after Moody. 

“No idea.” Comments Nado, stood beside him, and the pair exchange a shrug.

Sirius glances back at Arthur, who finishes his conversation with the reception staff member just then, and nods meaningfully at Sirius.

Sirius clears his throat, and looks up. "Gather up, boys." And Sirius doesn't have to say it loudly, the entire team is stood so close, and they fall quiet instantly. "We've got a quick team meeting,  before we get on the bus." Sirius wonders, rather apprehensively, if Moody's fierce temper might be related to the text he'd gotten from Arthur this morning. 

“What’s up, Cap?” Asks Thomas, perching on the back of the couch behind James and ruffling his hair with a grin. 

“Coach text me this morning to let me know," Sirius responded, calmly. He shrugged. "But I don't know anything more. I'm sure we'll hear soon."  

Some of the team exchange curious looks, and James sends Sirius a slightly confused glance. Sirius twists his mouth slightly, and James frowns, before lifting an eyebrow, eyes flicking away towards the lifts and back. Sirius inclines his head, and-

"Fancy sharing with the class, kids?" Kasey says, rather dryly. Sirius blinks, and James looks startled, then they both realise their conversation was entirely nonverbal. 

"Whoops." James says, with a soft laugh. "We were just wondering if, ah, the Moody-situation might be related." James explains, and Kasey nods. He has a slight furrow in his brow, and his sharp eyes are cautious, like he's expecting bad news. 

Sirius hopes it was nothing. But his gut is tightening, and Moody's unusually obvious anger is fresh in his mind. 

It's only another minute or two, during which Sirius mainly listens to Thomas bicker with James about the importance of ear plugs, before another lift arrives on the ground floor.   

It dings, loud in the suddenly quiet space, and Moody emerges. Sirius frowns, because he's carrying a familiar duffle bag, and backpack. His expression is just as dark as when he'd disappeared. 

"Right," Arthur appears, and Moody stops beside him, two bags carefully placed at his feet. Sirius's stomach tightens, because he recognises them. "Listen up, please." Arthur looks worried, and Sirius straightens. He has a horrible feeling they're about to get some terrible news.  

“Unfortunately," bingo, Sirius thinks, bracing himself. "We've had a phone call this morning.” Arthur takes a deep, steadying breath. “Unfortunately Remus," Sirius blinks. Loops? "-was involved," Arthur pauses, glances at Moody who’s simmering beside him. “Well, Remus was involved in a fight last night at a bar." There's a sudden, wordless cry, from the team. "He's alright," Arthur lifts his hands, soothingly. "And it definitely wasn’t his fault. It sounds like some drunk tool just a swing at him.” 

Moody shifts abruptly, jaw locked, and Sirius numbly thinks, shit. 

There's a long, stunned silence. 

"Is he alright?" James asks suddenly, and Sirius abruptly realises that he's gripping James's shoulder. Probably too tightly. Sirius doesn't actually remember reaching out. He feels a bit like he's been struck, and he's recovering only slowly from the blow. He can't get himself to release James, because it's all that's keeping him steady. James's hand comes up, squeezing his wrist supportively. 

"He's got some injuries, unfortunately." Arthur's voice was tight, and Sirius's chest lurches. "And," he glances at Moody, reaching out to squeeze the dark-faced man's shoulder tightly, just like Sirius was to James. "He spent some of the night in hospital." 

Sirius, abruptly, finds himself standing. James catches his wrist before he can take a single step, and Sirius hovers there uselessly, staring at Arthur. There's a deep, rumbling anger, building in his chest.

Arthur only gives him an understanding look. "I know this is pretty shocking." And Arthur might be speaking to the whole team, but he's looking at Sirius. "But Remus has said he's alright, and that he's been cleared to fly-" it was bad enough that Remus had had to be cleared to fly? "And he's going to be arriving pretty soon."     

“Who the actual hell would go after Loops?” asks Leo, looking horrified.  

“What the fuck happened though?” Asks Thomas harshly at the same moment, and he's standing too, behind the couch. 

“We don’t know yet." Arthur gestures again for calmness, but his jaw is tight. He doesn't call Thomas out on his swearing. "The police are involved, and it's very clear that Remus didn’t start whatever happened.” Arthur swallows. "It sounds like he was just unlucky." 

Sirius felt James squeeze his wrist, and inhaled sharply. The team were grumbling their of course it wasn't his fault, some bastard, some arsehole- almost in sync, because Loops was gentle, kind, and not at all the sort to drop his gloves.  

Sirius had seen Remus frustrated, het up about a game, but never, ever violent. Sirius lets James tug him back down onto the couch, and he slumps, staring down at his hands. He remembers Remus's smile, small and kind, that he'd sent Sirius's way. Remus carefully hadn't interrupted their conversation, Pascal and Sirius, but still kindly said goodnight in his own way. 

“As far as we know, the police are still looking for the guy now.” Arthur said, and Thomas shifted. Kasey was keeping half an eye on Thomas, and he made a low, warning noise. Thomas went still, and his jaw was locked. The entire team was stiff with shock, and growing anger. 

“Is Loops coming down, then?” Logan asks abruptly, glancing at the lifts and shifting back and forth. Finn had a hand on his shoulder. Most of the team were gripping each other, actually. Sirius saw hands on shoulders, saw Leo close beside Finn. 

Arthur shares another quick look with Moody, who’s grim expression somehow darkens a little further. “Actually," Arthur sighs. "Remus was only discharged early this morning.” There was another wave of murmurs. “So he stayed at a friend’s house for a few hours, and he’s said he'll be arriving soon." 

Sirius suddenly realises why Moody has Remus's bags, and swallows. 

Arthur nods at them, evenly. "Remus rang to update us this morning, and he warned me that he looks pretty-" Arthur faltered. "Well, that he looks, ah, rather injured." That could mean anything, and Sirius wishes he could see the carpark from here, because what if Remus was pulling up, and they were all sat in here, useless? James's hand tights on his arm, as if he's heard Sirius's thoughts, or somehow predicted that he might jump back to his feet. 

"But," Arthur goes on, above the murmuring team, who fall silent. Their respect for Arthur is clear, even in a moment like this, they respect him. "Keep in mind that the doctors were happy to clear him, and for him to get on the plane and get home with us.” Arthur nods, tapping his clipboard before it hangs loose again at his side. "We'll get him home." It's firm, and Sirius nods. They will. They'll get Remus home. 

The team is so obviously unsettled, as Arthur and Moody go to away. "We'll load up shortly." Arthur calls, and then their coach is gone, away towards the huddle of remaining staff at the doors. They're probably about to get the same message. Or, Sirius realises, catching some of their sick expressions, they'd already heard it, and Arthur was going back to check in. 

The team is silent. Sirius can feel the tensino against his skin, thick and heavy. He should do something about it, but just, for a moment, Sirius pauses to breathe. 

They all hate seeing their teammates injured. But to a certain degree, it's an acceptable risk. Or rather, a known risk. At least, on the ice.

This assault, on Remus, their PT, Loops, shouldn’t have happened. 

“Merde.” Sirius grinds out, lowly, and James leans in a touch more. Sirius's fingers curl into fists, and hot anger burns in his chest. 

"Shit." James mutters, and looks at Sirius in dread. "That's so fucking awful."

"Yeah." Sirius can hear how strange he sounds, and James shoots him a worried look. "Let's go." And as he stands, Pascal appears beside him, and James sticks close, and the team gather around Sirius, as if seeking comfort.  

Pascal, at least, is there to comfort Sirius. His hand is gentle, when it brushes Sirius's arm, although the older player doesn't say a word. 

"Come on." Sirius calls, forcing himself to straighten and fixing his expression into something calm. "We'll get sorted, and wait for Loops outside." The team seems to settle a bit, some returning to grab bags they'd left behind, and they all move towards the carpark together. "Let's get home." And most of the team nod, and they all follow Sirius out. 

Pascal's hand, against his shoulder, keeps Sirius steady as they go. 

Remus tugs at his borrowed sun glasses, trying to find a spot on his nose that doesn’t hurt. The stupid tape over the bridge of his nose stings, and it's going to suck to pull off in a few days. Only badly bruised, not broken-

Remus gives in, eventually, and reaches up carefully to tug his beanie further down to cover his ears. The light was painful, but the noise of the car and the traffic hurt too. 

Almost all of his outfit is on loan from Greg. He'd kindly washed and dried Remus’s clothes that had been a bit bloodied, and had them waiting in a plastic bag this morning.

Remus hadn’t been able to bother changing, too comfortable in the outfit Greg had helped him into the night before and not willing to risk bumping his face. The oversized Wisconsin hoodie was utterly comfortable in it's familiarity, and had come with a promise that Greg would visit and collect it from him Gryffindor at some point. 

They finally pull up at the hotel, and Greg reaches out to switch his truck off in the pull-in. The bus is already there, sat in front of them. He can see Arthur and Moody stood together outside the lobby door, peering at Greg's truck, and the boys are in the midst of loading their gear onto the bus and milling about in the usual chaos.

The other techs are still working at some of the last minute kit on board, and Remus feels a low throb of guilt hit him that he hasn’t been here to help.  

“Well," Greg tries to smile. "If you ever want to come back to the city after all that,” he grimaces, looking at Remus painfully. He reaches out, squeezes Remus's arm gently. “It was still really great to see you, Remus. I’ve missed you.”

Remus manages a half smile, trying not to pull at his torn lip where the butterfly stitches hold it together. “I’ve missed you too, G. I’m so sorry it happened, that it wrecked our night.”

And Greg immediately leans over, pulling him into a gentle hug. “You don’t need to be sorry. That's actually a banned word.” Remus manages a low laugh, and Greg sits back, smiling. “You’ve not changed, Moony.”

Remus manages another, lopsided, smile. He still can't see much out of his right eye, but the doctors had said, be patient, you've not fractured your orbit, the swelling will take time- and he keeps forgetting, squinting, which pulls painfully at his split eyebrow on that side.  

“Let’s get you loaded up," Greg says, sympathetically. "I reckon you can sleep on the bus and the plane.” He hesitates, scanning Remus again. “Are you sure about not staying? Jenny and I don’t mind at all. You're be really welcome, if you need a few quiet days here to rehab.”

"No, thank you though." Remus carefully doesn’t shake his head, but declines gently. "I just want to get home." Desperately, he desperately wants to get home. "Thank you for everything,  though. You’ve been so great, and Jenny too. Thank her for me?”

"I'll pass it along." Greg smiles gently, before it fades. "And I'm not sure how great I've been, really." He runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. "Bloody useless last night." Greg glances up at Remus's irritated sigh, and rolls his eyes. "Alright, alright. We won't argue again." Greg smiles though, and nods. "Come on, I'll give you a hand." Greg slides out of his door, and makes his way round the car, collecting the plastic bag of clothes on his way. 

Remus touches his throat briefly, with a wince. Talking still hurt. He doesn’t remember that particular moment happening, but the stark ring of bruises that ring his neck suggest Fenrir had thrown him around by his neck more than once.

The hoodie that he’s been loaned is so familiar that, if he didn't know better, he'd think it was his. It’s a little more oversized, though, which is helpful. It hangs loosely over his chest, and it's nice for his bruises but bad because his bruised neck is visible. He flicks the mirror down briefly, as Greg rounds the front of the car, and looks at himself.

His right eye is dark and swollen, and he can barely see more than vague colours out of that eye. The entire right side of his face is darkening into a deep blue, and there’s his torn lip his butterfly taped closed. His nose is swollen, the white tape contrasting to the deep purple bruises that are beginning to spread beneath both his eyes, and he looks such a goddamn mess.

The team is going to freak, he knows. It aches, the thought of their worry. Fuck, he's such an idiot. And everything hurts, and- Remus is so goddamn tired. The codeine he took at Greg’s should be kicking in soon, at least. He stares down at his taped fingers, at the swollen joints, and exhales as slowly as he can. He needs to stay calm, right now. 

He still startles when Greg suddenly appears, opening Remus's door. He reaches out calmly, taking Remus's good hand and easing him up and out of the truck. They pause there for a second, because Remus is practically panting, sparks of pain spasming in his chest. "Alright?" Greg's low voice rumbles through him. 

After a moment, Remus manages a hitching, "Yeah." 

Remus squints at the bus, and he can see most of the team standing about trying to look like they’re not watching. None of them were doing a good job of being subtle, and Remus catches Leo's horrified expression before he looks away. 

Arthur flags him down, moving forward, and Remus raises a hand, wincing when it tugs at his ribs. Bruised, not broken. And his fingers were bruised, not broken, although still taped together tightly. His eye socket was swollen and bruised as fuck, but not broken. His nose had somehow avoided most of the fists, and wasn’t badly broken either.

Maybe Remus actually had been lucky.  

The police had seen him at the hospital, once he was a bit more with it. They’d taken his statement, and it's a bit of a blur, really. 

I don’t remember who it w as. I’m not sure if I knew them or not.

Remus, we need you to be honest with us. One of the witnesses said you knew the man’s name, although they didn’t catch it. If someone’s threatening you, the officer had trailed off, waiting for Remus to fill the silence.

And he'd looked down weakly, but stubbornly shaken his head. No, I don’t remember that. I don’t remember.

Alright. Neither of them believed him, it was obvious. We’ll let you rest. We'll reach out, if we find out anything more.

Thank you.   

And the two officers had exchanged more meaningful looks before leaving him to it. He’d twisted his fingers together, even though it hurt. Why had he lied? Why was he so scared, still, even now, to fucking tell someone?

He’d instinctively messaged his Mum, even though it was late. He said not to panic but he’d had a scuffle at a and had a bruised eye, so had gone to get it checked out. I'm at the hospital, but I'm fine- because all he'd wanted, right then, was his Mum.

And his Mum would understand, how much he hated hospitals, and why. She'd been there, for all of it.

Remus had regretted it almost as soon as he’d sent it, and the panic it caused. Even as late as it was, Hope still tried to ring him back almost immediately.

Remus had wanted the comfort, with the smell of the hospital and the noise and the lights and the pain in his shoulder that the doctors told him wasn’t real, but he hadn't been able to pick up the phone. 

He'd had to decline four facetimes because he could barely speak through the swelling and pain relief, fumbling through a text one handed that said he couldn’t pick up sorry just with the doctors but i'm fine and will touch base in the morning, lots of love to everyone sorry to wake you so late xx

And then she’d text instantly back, okay, we love you, we’re so sorry that happened, ring us anytime but definitely in the morning!!!!!!! It’s fine I was awake!! Love you!!!! xx

Greg had come back to find Remus in a near-panic behind the curtained off room, and hustled him out as quickly as possible, settling Remus into his spare room for a few hours. With the additional injection of pain relief he’d been given at the hospital, and the oral anti-inflammatories easing his discomfort, Remus had fallen asleep – exhausted.

Greg had woken him gently, and Remus had climbed from the bed like a very stiff and injured zombie. 

He'd text his parents this morning to say he’d spent the night at Greg’s, and that he was all cleared to go home. He'd lied, said it wasn’t too major, although he had a decent black eye and that the police were on it. His Mum had come back within seconds, impressive given the slow typing speed she usually texts at. 

So good to hear!!! We are so relieved!! Jules says he wants to see your black eye, we’ll facetime you later, make sure the boys look after you!!

He’d winced, at that. Maybe he shouldn't have downplayed it, so much. But he so desperately wanted to be back in Gryffindor before he told them more, and also to give himself enough time to figure out how much to tell them. He’d sent the first text when he’d been a bit doped, when he’d needed the comfort of his Mum, when the sterile smell of the hospital filling his nose.

He hadn’t decided about Fenrir yet, whether they needed to know, or if that would only make them panic more. They’d tell him to tell the police, maybe even tell them themselves. Maybe he could just pretend temporary memory loss if it all came out anyway.

If it came out.

Shit.

The anxiety at that thought came in an awful overwhelming rush, and he realises it's all tied up together. Everything that had already happened, and last night.  

"Moons?" Greg checks, and Remus blinks.

"Sorry." He manages, wondering how long they've been standing here. "Yeah, let's go. Thanks." Remus tugs at his red beanie self-consciously. It was a random old one Greg had found to help hide some of the bruising around his forehead. Dressed as he was, he looked like he was about to go and support Wisconsin at a hockey match. 

Remus remembers to take the sunglasses off and squints, ouch, because even in the cool morning the light was beginning to grow and it hurts, and turns to abandon them on the seat. Greg supports Remus when he wobbles, and reaches out to close the door softly behind him. 

Remus flinches, even though it isn't loud. Sod it, ouch, his head.  

Remus expects for Greg to say goodbye from there and get back in his car, but all his taller friend does does is set his jaw and loop their arms together.

“G, I’m fine,” and REmus can’t help but soften.

“Nope." Greg denies, and pulls him forward gently. "You and I both know that Hope Lupin will spontaneously appear and boot my arse to the curb, if I don’t see you safely into the hands of your team.”

Remus manages a quiet laugh, because Greg has only met her exactly once but adored and respected her fiercely ever since, and doesn’t resist as Greg tugs him gently towards the bus.

Arthur tries to wave off some of the boys, but nobody really moves anywhere aside from shifting a few token steps further away. They’ve got hoodies and hats and jerseys on, and headphones around their necks or in their hands. They should all be relaxed, the day after an important win, but there’s a line of tension in everyone he can see, and they’re all watching with deep grimaces and worried expressions.  

Remus squints in the weak morning sunlight, just as they reach Arthur and Moody.

“Fuck, son.” Moody spits, face twisting in true concern. He reaches out, very gently touching Remus's arm, before releasing him. Remus can see players peering around the coaches backs, worriedly. Remus avoids meeting their eyes, focusing on Arthur and Moody, tiredly. 

“It looks bad, I know," Remus tries to look calm, but his voice is wrecked, and they can see the bruises. "But I promise I’m alright.” Remus sees Arthur's eyes dart down to his neck, and how he can't seem to look a way, for a moment. 

“I'm so sorry, Remus." Arthur says, eventually, and keeps scanning Remus fretfully. It was unusual for Arthur to call him Remus, instead of Loops, and spoke to his worry. "Have you got a concussion?" He reaches out, squeezing Remus's left shoulder very gently. "Blimey, son." He murmurs, but waits for an answer to his question. 

“Mild one, maybe." Remus rasps, and his throat is getting sore again, with all this talking. "They okayed me flying, though." Moody nods, but hardly looks any less worried. "I’m mainly just bruised.” Remus tries, and Greg shifts a little closer, arm still locked gently around Remus's back. 

“Have they caught the fucker yet?” Moody asks, voice hard.

Remus glances at Greg, consciously turning his head to do it because he’s figured out that moving his eyes sharply in their sockets is dumb right now. Greg grimaces at him, and Remus looks away, back towards Moody. "No." He sounds distant, and tries to focus. "Not yet." He swallows, wishing he'd accepted Greg's offer of a hot drink on the way. "They just reckon it was the wrong place, wrong time." Liar, liar, liar-  

"Well, hopefully they'll find him soon." Arthur says, grimly. "And in the meantime, we'll get you home." The pair watch him carefully for another few moments, with matching concern. Then they glance, almost in sync, to study Greg.

After a moment, Arthur nods, relaxing a touch. He's seen the careful arm that Greg is holding Remus up with, maybe. “Thank you so much for looking after our boy."  

“Of course, yeah." Greg nods, glancing at Remus with obvious worry and warmth. "He’s our boy too.” His attempt at a smile fades into a grimace before it can properly land. “And if we’d done a better job last night, we wouldn’t be in this mess.”  

Remus clicks his tongue softly, and Greg trades a long look with him. They haven't forgotten how to have silent conversations, and barely a tilt of Remus's chin, before Greg gives way, smiling faintly. 

"Alright, Moons." Greg says, softly, just between them. And then he looks back at the coaches. Remus can see the clear admiration in his eyes, though his expression is calm, as he extends a hand out towards Arthur. “Greg Grayson.” 

“Arthur Weasley." Arthur replies simply, shaking his hand, before he blinks suddenly in recognition, glancing at the sweatshirt Remus is in. "Oh, right." He nods. "You played for Wisconsin a few years ago. I remember your name.”   

Greg raises an awkward hand to his neck, briefly, before nodding. “Oh, yeah. A lifetime ago.” Greg's smile falls flat and he shoots an uncertain look at Remus, who can only grimace back in sympathy. They'd dreamed of playing together, one day, for a coach just like Arthur. Maybe even for the Lions.   

“Well," Arthur can clearly tell he's misstepped, and swiftly moves on. "Thank you, for getting Remus back safely to us.” Arthur scans Remus again and nods firmly. “We’ve got him from here.” It's nothing less than a solemn promise.  

Greg nods, giving way. He usual smile reappears, though far less brightly than normal. “No problem. I had to see him to the door and his team, or his Mum might've come and hunted me down.” He turns to Remus then, and Arthur and Moody step away just a fraction more, giving them an illusion of privacy.

“I’ve really missed you, Moony." Greg gazed at him sadly. "Call me anytime, alright?” He pulls Remus into a gentle hug, mindful of his injuries. Remus leans into Greg a little desperately, sadness a heavy weight. One of his oldest friends. Remus hated goodbyes. 

"Yeah, Greg. You too." Remus murmurs, and they pull apart. Greg doesn't go far, though.  

Very carefully, slowly enough to give Remus plenty of warning, Greg leans in to press their foreheads together, gently. 

It's a comforting gesture from a bygone era, back when they were on the ice and had helmets on, celebrating or mourning together after a game. Remus knows that everyone watching won't miss what it means, but today he doesn't care. So, what, maybe they'll think he used to play a bit of hockey. Who cares? Remus closes his eyes, and leans a little more heavily. He needs it. 

"Thanks, Greg." Remus manages, huskily. They pull apart, and Greg's eyes look a little glassy too. "I'll see you next time." And Greg nods, clearing his throat. He reaches out, squeezes Remus's arm once more, and starts to move away with a last wave. He glances at the watching players, flashes them a brighter grin. "Look after our Moony, eh?" He calls, and then turns towards their truck as Arthur waves acknowledgement. 

Quite a few of the team share uncertain looks at the unfamiliar nickname, but Remus isn’t watching to see them.  

“Right, get loaded up, lads!” Moody calls abruptly, and the team seems to jolt into motion, most of them shooting looks at Remus before heading onto the bus. Remus is busy watching Greg climb into his truck, waving at Remus as the ute peels out and away within seconds. 

“Greg Grayson, eh.” Arthur says, appearing at Remus's shoulder. Remus flinches slightly, having missed his appearance because of his swollen right eye.  

“Yeah,” Remus croaks, feeling pretty gutted as Greg’s silver truck disappears down the road.  

“I remember his name.” And that means something, that Arthur did. 

“He was so great." Remus says, weakly, because he had been. Fuck, Greg had been incredible. "He was our-" Remus swallowed. "He was the main defence for Wisconsin, for a bit there.” Remus blinks the memories away, eventually turning to face Arthur, painfully. “He got injured, too." It was simple, all he could manage. "We went through PT training together, in the end.”

"A good friend, then." Arthur says softly, watching Remus nod. Arthur sighs, expression sad. “So, Moony, eh?” His eyes are kind. 

Remus looks away, swallowing against the lump in his throat. “I prefer Loops, these days.” He tries to make his tone light, but he can hear how badly he's failed. The weight of Arthur's gaze is heavy, and Remus forces himself to look and meet his eyes.

Arthur is still watching him sadly. “I’m so sorry this happened, kid. I’m sure they’ll get the guy.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Remus says thickly, trying not to let the fear at the thought overpower him. Liar, liar, liar-

“Let’s get you home.” It's gentle, as is the hand that lands on his back, easing him towards the bus. Most of the team has already disappeared, but James is hovering beside a blank faced Sirius, at the door.  

“Shit, Loops.” James says tightly, and he reaches out a warm hand immediately once he's close, brushing his shoulder warmly. Everyone was, by chance, reaching out for his left shoulder. Remus relaxes a bit, and James releases him. "How're you doing?" James asks, eyeing him. 

Sirius just hovers silently, scanning Remus rapidly, eyes dark. 

“I’m alright.” Remus lies, trying for a smile, and both of them raise an eyebrow and wince, weirdly in sync. 

“Non," Sirius says, softly. "That's painful just watching."

Remus lets his smile fade away, and nods tiredly. "Yeah." He mutters, and fuck, he was exhausted. 

“Allons-y, Loops.” Sirius says, quietly, and nods his head towards the bus. Sirius steps up first, hovering there, and reaches out a large hand expectantly. 

Eyeing the gap between the bus and the concrete, Remus swallows. And he lets himself reach out, Sirius's large hand curling gently around his right, and he helps Remus take the first large step slowly. 

James reaches a gentle hand up on Remus's back, and between them, Remus manages to climb upwards.  

Remus slips into the first empty row he sees, the second one back. Sirius waits for James to settle in at the window, their usual habit, and sits in the aisle seat, swivelling to face him, hand extending as Remus begins to settle. The pair of them are way further forward than they normally chose to be, and Remus is rather touched by their obvious concern.    

Remus stiffly lowers himself into his seat, avoiding glancing down the bus where he can feel a fair few eyes on him. He twists only gingerly, chest twinging. He leans slowly back against the window, pulling his legs slowly up onto the seat, and sags sideways when it's done. He's facing James and Sirius, who he can see both peering at him, worriedly.

Slowly, Remus reaches up to tug his hood up and over his beanie. It gives his eyes a bit more shelter from the too-bright overhead lights, though they're probably only dimly lit.

James leans around Sirius a little more, mouth twisting in an unusually fierce expression. “Have they found the bastard yet? Or should we get hunting?" 

Remus huffs a quiet laugh, squinting. But he finds James’s face set in serious lines, and he realises that may not have been a joke. "Um." He swallows against his dry throat. "I dunno yet, Pots." He croaks, weakly. "Police are on it.”        

He watches Sirius and James exchange a long look, and there’s a whole world of communication in just a few seconds. Just like when they’re on the ice. Remus thinks of Greg, and his throat tightens a fraction more. 

“Fucking hell, Loops.” Thomas appears suddenly, leaning forward from his newly claimed seat behind Sirius. He's moved up the bus, and Remus quirks a lip at him, ignoring the tug of the steri-strips. Thomas pats Remus’s ankle gently. “You okay, man?” It’s soft.

Remus nods slightly, rather gingerly. “Yeah, I’m okay." Nobody looks like they believe him. "Bruised." He admits, with a sigh. "Mainly just knackered, though.” And he is.

Maybe the codeine is finally kicking in, or maybe it's finally feeling safe on the surrounded by everyone, but he’s suddenly blinking a lot more heavily at Thomas. 

“I like your hoodie.” Thomas smiles at him, gently. “You look like you’re just from my team, now, instead of everyone here.” 

Remus huffs a gentle laugh, amused, and quite touched. That was, well. That was pretty nice. But then Remus abruptly remembers that Thomas doesn’t know, of course, that Remus actually used to play for Wisconsin, and he looks away. Liar, liar, liar-

"Was your mate from there?" Thomas asks, and Sirius looks a bit curious too.  

"Yeah." Remus murmurs. They'd both played a few years after Thomas's time, but only just. He wonders vaguely what would have happened if they’d known each other back then, and sighs, trying to prevent a yawn and catching himself in pain when he can't. His jaw aches. 

"Mon fils," and Remus looks up, to find Pascal leaning over the seat, watching him sadly. "I am so sorry this has happened."

"Thanks, Dumo." Remus mumbles, shifting a little. "I'm okay, though." He's not, not really.  

Pascal doesn't even seem to listen, instead twisting to reach for something, and then very slowly, leans over the seat back towards Remus. Remus squints, and sees what he's holding, gratitude filling him.  

Remus is so utterly trusting of Pascal that he doesn't really feel anything, just leans forward when Pascal quietly asks him to, and there's a hand on his wrist, helping him forward.

Remus looks up, and catches Sirius's steady gaze, before Pascal helps ease him back, and Sirius releases him gently. "Thanks." Remus says, blankly, and Sirius inclines his head. 

There's something soft between him and the ledge of the bus window now, and Remus sags back weakly. Oh, a pillow, he remembers seeing it- Pascal has given him- "Thank you." Remus mumbles, hoarsely, and relaxes. 

"Of course, Remus." A very gentle squeeze of his right hand, and Pascal straightens, nodding his head gently. "Have some sleep, mon fils. You need to rest, hmm?"    

Remus manages another nod, and it twinges. He winces, swallows painfully. "Yeah," he mumbles, and someone squeezes his ankle again. His knees are tucked up, so he shouldn't be in the way, but- Remus suddenly blinks, trying to wake up. "Um," he's so confused. "The gear? Is," Remus straightens, wincing again, to squint blearily across the aisle. Sirius is on board the bus, which means, um, something- "Is, is the gear on?"  

"Gears all on." Sirius's low voice is so utterly comforting. "Everyone's on board." Sirius must know, about Remus's habit, to climb on board after all the players, to make sure everyone was there. Sirius was usually with him, actually, Remus sways a little, so, it was so hard to think, of course Sirius would know. "We're all going to have a sleep too, so you're fine." Sirius sounds so reassuring. 

"Remus?" It's low, comforting, and Pascal peers at him. "Everyone is alright, mon fils." It's gentle, like the hand that lands on his good shoulder. Remus blinks at him sadly, as something twinges in his bad shoulder. "You can rest."  

Oh, Remus sighs. "A'right." He mumbles, and his eyes are closing, something soft against his back. "Y'sure?" He can't help but check, with the itching feeling in his chest telling him he's forgotten something important.  

"We're sure." Low and calm from Thomas, now. "Just rest, Loops." And with another gentle squeeze on his ankle, Remus closes his only good eye.

"Yeah." Remus breathes, and everything is fading quickly. His chest is barely aching, now, and his face is only distantly throbbing. He takes the deepest breath he thinks he has all morning, and drifts even more closely towards sleep.  

It suddenly seems to get darker, and the murmuring voices from the rows behind them drop even more, and Remus falls asleep before the bus has even switched on.  

"He's been bloody beaten to a pulp." Logan hisses under his breath, peering forward towards the front of the bus, where they can just catch sight of Remus curled up in his hoodie, long legs tucked up on the seat. Arthur is on the phone, stood at the top of the stairs, and Moody is watching Remus grimly. Everyone is quiet, any whispers mainly about their beaten PT, sat only a few rows ahead of them. 

Leo swallows. "I know, Lo." He murmurs, softly. He reaches out, squeezing Logan's shoulder gently. It doesn't seem to settle him much, but Leo can understand why. Remus's head has slipped down a bit, and all they can really see now is one of his white shoes, just barely sticking into the aisle. But what they had seen, was more than enough. 

Remus was apparently already asleep, Pascal having turned to gesture, finger coming to his lips gently, and the bus had fallen quiet in an instant. Thomas has already ducked forward to speak with the driver, back in his seat now, and the lights had dimmed within moments. Everyone was quiet, although some, like Logan, remained angry. 

Finn, from across the aisle, reached out and gripped Logan's other shoulder. He'd basically kept a hand on Logan since Remus had first emerged from the car, and Leo had helped keep Logan between them.

Remus's tall friend, dark haired and tall, had been openly affectionate with Remus, and Remus with him. But even Leo was simmering a bit, because they'd all seen a happy and an injury-free Remus barely twelve hours before. And now, out of nowhere, this stranger had delivered their much beloved PT back with an almost unrecognisable face. 

"Where the hell was his friend," Logan mutters darkly, "When Remus was busy getting pummelled?" 

"Settle down, Lo." Finn murmurs, in a slightly firmer tone. Logan dips his chin, slightly, but doesn't give way much. Finn sighs. "It sounds like it was just bad luck. And you could see how gutted his mate looked, too." Finn's careful eyes peer ahead, but Remus had gone still.

Asleep, Leo hoped, or at least resting. Remus had looked so young, tired and exhausted, when Sirius and James had guided him onto the bus between them. 

Logan's knee ratchets in place, and Leo trades a quick worried look with Finn. Getting Logan on the plane, worked up like this, might prove difficult. "I know, Lo." Leo murmurs, and drapes his arm around Logan's shoulders. Being trapped on a bus wouldn't be doing much for Logan's head, either, and Pascal was too busy watching Remus to clock Logan's hyperactivity. Pascal could settle Logan down, in a way that very few people could. Finn was second, and Leo thought he was getting better too. 

Leo kept breathing slowly, steadily, and hoped Logan might begin to copy him soon. 

“He just looks so fucking wrecked.” Logan mutters, but finally sinks back into his seat, slumping a little more against Leo.  

"I know, Lo." Finn says, softly, and Leo sees Kasey lean against Finn, a fraction more. It seemed to settle something in Finn, too, having him close. 

"They'll get the guy." Kasey says, quietly, and Leo even finds himself relaxing a touch. Beneath his arm, Logan seems to as well. Leo sends a grateful look at Kasey, who nods his head very slightly. "We'll get him home, and figure out the rest tomorrow." And that was comforting, too.  

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

Something vibrated against his stomach, and then there was movement above him, at his waist, and Remus opens his eye to see someone leaning over him.   

Remus jerks backwards with a noise of panic, adrenaline flooding him, and the blurry figure freezes. "Just me." A familiar voice says, lowly, hands up and extended. Sirius leans back a touch, giving Remus space. "It's just me, Loops. I'm sorry," Sirius is holding a buzzing phone, fished out from his central jersey pocket, and Remus thinks, oh, oh right- before he sags. "Merde, sorry, Loops." Sirius sounds gutted. "I was just going to get your phone for you." He glances at the screen, and Remus stares at him blankly. "It's your Mum," Sirius looks up warningly. "A facetime."  

"Shit." Remus croaks. "Let it ring out." Remus slumps backwards, and Sirius perches back in his seat, facing Remus. Another moment or two of annoying buzzing, and the phone goes quiet. "I forgot to reply." Remus manages, and Sirius nods.   

"Alright." His dark eyes are concerned. "Do you want me to reply, for you?"

Stubbornness flares abruptly to life, a tight knot in his chest. Remus thinks with vague annoyance how weak he'd looked getting onto the bus, in front of everyone, and thinks, you could've shown up a bit sooner-

Remus pauses, because he is maybe speaking to his own head, which, Remus blinks again. Well, it definitely seems bit strange. "Um, thank you." Remus remembers Sirius is waiting for an answer. "But I'll, I can do it." He goes to reach out, and hisses, abruptly remembering his sore fingers. He tucks his left hand back against his chest, and holds out his right instead.  

Sirius looks unsure, but wordlessly passes it back after a moment more of consideration. 

"Thanks." Remus mutters, and peers at the screen, painfully. 

"Wait, Loops," James sounds concerned. "Do they think you might have a concussion? Should you be looking at screens?" James is leaning around Sirius, to ask.  

"No." Remus says, and then blinks. Wait, what had they said? "Oh. Um, maybe a mild one. They weren't sure. They weren't worried, didn't say anything about, like-" his voice is scratchy. "About screens." He doesn't think they did, anyway.  

Thomas leans forward next, offering a drink bottle. Remus blinks at it, until Thomas waggles it gently. "Just water, if you want. For your throat."   

"Oh. Thanks." Remus manages, and has to drop his phone in his lap for a moment, to accept it. He pulls open the lid with clumsy fingers, not wanting to test his vaguely loose feeling teeth. The first sip Remus has would have made him moan, if he didn't have several people watching him so closely.

Remus's sore throat is soothed immediately, although it aches to swallow, and Remus drinks deeply for a few seconds. He stops, but only because he's getting breathless. 

He almost fumbles it, but Thomas leans forward in time, almost kneeling in the aisle, to catch it. "Here anytime you need it, Remus." And Thomas has almost never called him anything other than Loops. Remus blinks at him, hoping his gratitude is obvious.   

"Thanks, man." Remus says, softly, and Thomas nods. Thomas glances at Remus's lap, and says, "You sure about your phone, man? One of us can help, if you want to dictate."  

"I'll," Remus looks down. "I'll have a look first, thanks though." His voice is a bit better, but the base of his throat still aches, and feels swollen. Thomas settles back into his seat, and Remus realises the bus is moving. He peers at the screen again, and winces at the number of missed messages. "Fuck me." Remus mumbles, under his breath, and hears a soft snort. Glancing up, he sees Sirius watching him, vaguely amused. "Sorry." 

"I'd say you've earned it." Sirius comments quietly, and glances at Remus's phone too, before looking at him apologetically. "I'm sorry for making you jump."  

"Not your fault." Remus says, instantly. He opens his mouth to say something else, but his phone buzzes before he can. Another facetime. This time, he hangs up.

[7:18am] [Missed Facetime Call: Mum]

[7:19am] [Missed Facetime Call: Mum]

He squints at the phone, pulling up the rest of his notifications, and winces. Jesus. A few from Lewis, and half a dozen or more from his parents, who were quite clearly panicking. 

Mum

[6.45am] Hi love, just checking in again. Glad you’re better this morning and getting to the airport soon! Can we speak soon? 

[6.50am] Can we speak before you get on the plane? We would love to see you!

[6.55am] Hope you’re alright xx

[7:08am] Sorry Remus for all of the messages but I’m quite worried and we don’t have your flight time! We don’t have Arthur’s number we’ve realised!! I’m going to ring soon, can you text me back please if now isn’t good? We love you!

And, adding to the numerous messages, his Dad had joined in too. 

Dad

[6.48am] Morning Remus, safe travels today. Ring us when you get a chance please! x

[7:15am] Hey love, mum is panicking a bit. Give us a ring asap if you can, or you’ll be getting a phone call from her soon! Lots of love!! x

The words shift and blur a bit on his phone, and Remus blinks down at it rather dully. It seems like an extraordinary effort, to try and craft a response. 

“Besoin d’aide?”  Pascal is leaning forward again, hovering. Remus swallows, struggling to translate the French for a moment. Besoin- "Do you want some help, Remus?" Pascal asks again, more softly, and Remus swallows his pride. 

"Yeah," Remus is embarrassed by how pained he sounds, but he's too exhausted to hide it. "Please. I don't," the bus lurches, and Remus swallows back a wave of nausea. "Don't think I can text, while we’re moving.” And he swallows, almost swaying in his seat, feeling a bit sick as the bus breaks.

“Bien sûr.” 

Remus shifts, settling his legs carefully so he’s facing forward. It's a bit painful, but manageable, and better. It helps with his dizziness a bit, means he can brace his legs against the movement of the bus. Pascal slides in next to him, patting his knee gently. "I will help." He says, and Remus sighs in relief. 

"Thank you." Remus hands him the phone, and sags against the pillow again. “Can you please let them know I’ll ring from the airport? Tell them we’re having like,” he trails off for a moment, trying to think. “Like, a team debrief or something?”

“Oui, go back to sleep for a bit longer, Remus.”

“Thank you.” Remus mumbles, and his eye drifts closed, and he falls asleep within minutes. 

Mum

[7:20am] So sorry for missing your call, we’re having a team debrief on the bus. I'm okay. I’ll ring you from the airport. Love you too.

Dad

[7:22am] Sorry Dad, team debrief on the bus - will speak soon from the airport. I'm okay. Talk soon, love you too. 

James stays beside him as they navigate through the airport. It's loud, his head aches, and he feels very spacey from the meds too. He's a bit separate from everything, and quite reliant on James to find his way. 

He gets through security with James glued to his side, and plenty of odd looks from the security guards. He can hear Pascal and Sirius talking quietly in French, right behind them. It was nice, that they were staying so close too. 

Remus is handed his jumper back by a blank faced security guard, which had been a right treat to try and pull off. James helps him get it back on, just as gently as he'd helped it it on. It still catches his fingers, and his nose, and Remus's eyes water as he straightens back up. James is watching him carefully, holding his arm, "Alright?" 

And Remus nods, about to tell him thanks, when a guy beside them collecting his laptop bumps his elbow in Remus's chest. 

Remus folds, curling forward with a gasp. Sharp pain flares, and he's managed to somehow catch one of the deepest bruises along his ribcage. 

The man turns apologetically, but his eyes widen when he spots Remus's bruises. James waves him off politely, but Sirius steps in next to Remus, and between them, they keep him upright. 

“Easy, Remus," it's low enough that it can only be Sirius. "You’re alright, just take a second.” 

Remus does, and he manages not to cough, and eventually straightens. He's exhausted, breathless. 

Pascal is stood in front of him, hands out and ready, as if to catch him. He nods, when he meets Remus's gaze. "We're almost there, Remus. Nearly to the gate, and then you can rest, eh?" 

Rest sounds quite incredible, right now. James's arm is carefully under one elbow, not brushing his hands, and Sirius has his other arm. Remus is manoeuvred forward between the pair of them, and Remus looks down, trying to watch where his feet are landing. They keep him upright, and do most of the work. 

"Nearly there, Loops." James says bracingly, but Remus is too tired to respond, barely managing to stumble on.

Remus is turned gently, and then lowered onto a seat. James and Sirius don't seem at all bothered by his weight, and only release him when he's secure. Sirius immediately sits beside him, watching him closely, but James disappears. 

Remus, vaguely aware of the looks they're all garnering, tugs his beanie a little further down over his face. 

Arthur and Moody have stayed standing close by too, both of them behind the seats opposite, talking quietly together. Moody is watching Remus whenever he looks up.

“Ça va, Loops?” Asks Logan, abruptly appearing at Remus's right side. He looks worried, and Leo and Finn hover beyond him, just as concerned. 

“Yeah, Tremz.” But he’s not really, and by Logan’s expression, he seems to know it. Pascal arrives, and he slips closer to Logan, draping an easy arm around his shoulders. Something in Logan's face seems to relax, and Remus catches the bouncing knee with a hidden wince. Well, maybe Logan was having a rough day, too. 

With a sigh, Remus looks down at his phone. He hovers his thumb for a moment over his Mum's contact. Shit. Was she going to freak if he didn't facetime? But Remus didn't want to risk Julian catching sight of him. It was a Saturday, so Jules could be floating around. And, aside from Jules, he knew his parents would freak too.  

“Need me to ring them?" Sirius offers, carefully. "I can say you’ve fallen asleep.” 

“Thank you,” but Remus only considers it for a second. “Mum would freak though, thinking I’m dead in a ditch somewhere and it was a big conspiracy or something." Sirius's lip curved up, at Remus's attempt at humour. "And Dad would probably faint full stop, if it was you ringing." Sirius raises an eyebrow, and Remus huffs a small laugh. "He's quite a fan." 

"Oh." Sirius blinks, looking oddly surprised. He looks away, something almost embarrassed crossing his face, before it's gone. "Well, offers there." 

"Thank you." Remus sighs, sending him a quick graceful look. His nose throbbed. "But I better not. I'll just go-" and he shifts as if to stand, but it's Logan this time, who gently catches his arm. 

“Non," and there's definitely something anxious in Logan's face, even though he's trying to smile. "Stay here. Cap will lose his shit, if he loses a team member in this crowd."  

Remus blinks, realising that maybe Sirius wasn't the only one that might lose his shit, because Logan looks worried, but Leo and Finn are hovering, and Sirius has gone stiff, like he might reach out too. Remus thinks, team member, and might have flushed, if he wasn't so tired. 

A soft tick noise, and Sirius quickly retracts his arm. He's reached around Remus to flick Logan's ear, gently. Logan snorts, but he actually seems to relax.  

"Alright." Remus agrees, and looks down. Pascal had done a good job, and he glances at him, carefully turning his head. "Thank you for before, Dumo." 

"I tried to get myself into your persona." Pascal teased gently. Remus smiled slightly, though it tugged at his lip, before looking back at his phone. 

Mum

[7:23am] Okay love, talk soon!!!!

Dad

[7:24am] Great Remus, we’ll talk soon. Mum is a bit freaked out. If you’ve got a shiner might be best just to ring rather than facetime x

It rings for maybe half a second, before his Mum answers. Remus barely able to bring it up to his ear before she's speaking."Remus? Love?” And his mum sounds like she’s been crying, shit.

“Mum, hey,” Remus croaks, and grimaces. Quite abruptly, James reappears in front of him. In one hand he holds out a full, opened drink bottle. In the other, a small mug of fruit tea. Remus accepts the water with a mouthed, thank you, and takes a sip. 

“Lyall, he’s on!”

Remus glances down as James sinks down cross legged, right in front of him, watching closely. He sends James an amused look, hoping it comes through despite the bruises. 

Remus thinks he might've rolled his eyes at the show of protectiveness, if he had the energy. But actually, it was so comforting to have someone on each side, that he can't bother pretending. 

“Remus?” His Dad, puffing, like he's run for the phone. “How are you? What did the doctors say?”

“Hey, yeah, I’m okay.” Remus tries to firm up his voice a little, taking another quick swallow of water. “I’m pretty bruised, honestly, but they were all happy for me to get home.” Well, mostly. 

“That’s such great news,” his dad says, sounding relieved. "We were so sorry to hear." His Dad almost sounds choked, then, and Remus closes his left eye, taking an even breath, to stop the heat that's sprung up around his eyes. 

And then his Mum asks, too quickly, “Any signs of a concussion, love?”

Remus leans forward, elbow on his knee, phone pressing against his ear. Should he lie? 

"Oh, Remus-" he's taken too long, and his Mum sounds like she's crying. "Oh, love, another concussion-" 

"It's not like at University, Mum." Remus interrupts, trying to sound steady. But the truth is, his head is spinning. "They think I've maybe got a really mild one, maybe. They weren't even sure. They just wanted me to get checked out when I get home," his Dad makes a pleased noise, but his Mum is silent. "I promise," Remus lowers his voice, and leaning forward as he is, hopefully Logan and Sirius won't catch what he says next. "I promise it's not like last time, alright? Maybe a mild one. That's it. I swear."  

"Oh, love." His Mum sounds close to crying. "I wish we were there."

Remus swallows against the knot in his throat, not helping the swelling and pain already there. "Yeah." Remus blinks a few times, his eyes stinging. "Yeah, me too."

"What did they say, then? About everything else?" His Dad asks, and he can hear some movement. Remus can picture them in the kitchen, holding one another, and his heart aches at the distance. 

How honest to be? "I've got a broken nose." Because Remus knows, eventually they'll win the Facetime argument, and the bruises under his eyes aren't going to be explained by anything else. "And some sore fingers," that wasn't so bad, maybe. "I'm a bit banged up," Remus feels something nudge his hand, and he looks up in surprise. James is right there, right in front of him, and Remus realises he'd forgotten how close he was. He's probably heard every word. James is extending his hand out for the bottle, and passing him the tea. It's cool, he mouths, and Remus nods gratefully. "Thanks, James."

"Oh," His Mum sounds so pleased. "Are the boys looking after you?"

"Yeah," Remus takes a sip of what turns out to be chamomile tea, and sighs. "Yeah, James got me some tea."

"That's very kind." His Dad sounds pleased, too. "Are they all looking after you?"

"Yeah, they're all here." Remus feels a hand land on his back, gently. He can't even tell if it's Sirius or Logan, but he doesn't much care for the moment. It's comforting, and James is right at his feet, and he's surrounded on all sides. It helps. 

"Tell me exactly what they said, about your concussion." Hope orders, firmly, and Remus rubs his forehead beneath his beanie, painfully. 

For a moment, exhaustion steals his words. But another fortifying sip, and his Mum asking worriedly, "Re? Love?" 

"Sorry," he manages, automatically. The tea has helped his throat, he definitely sounds more normal. "Sorry, I was just having some tea. Yeah, I kind of got the impression they were being cautious, because of the history they have." He remembers to lower his voice, but he can't do much about James.

For a moment, Remus catches James's gaze, and sees the startled surprise there. Remus might wince, if it wasn't going to hurt so much. James has heard him then, about Remus's concussion history. Excellent. He looks away, awkwardly, and tries to focus. "And um," what else to say? "They've recommended a few days at home, to recuperate." 

“Oh, god, Lyall, they’ve given him time off!”

“I can hear him, love. But he sounds alright, doesn’t he. If he’s a bit banged up, they won’t want him at work, that’s all it is.”  

“Oh," Hope fretted. "Oh, love, can't we just facetime you for a few minutes?”

“Maybe not now Mum," Remus said, as firmly as he can manage, with his Mum. "Look, I am pretty bruised up. And I don't want Jules to-" he coughs a bit, and takes another sip of tea. "I don't want Jules to see." His voice is low, firm. "And," the hand on his back presses gently, before relaxing again. But it stays, against his spine. "I think we're about to board, any minute."  

“Oh, love. Okay, I understand.” He can hear the dread in her voice, and she stops arguing about the facetime. 

“We can leave him with his boys, Hope. He sounds alright." His Dad sounds like he's trying very hard to be calm. "Just a bit tired, eh.”

“Yeah, knackered.” Remus folds a little more forward, and James catches his knee, as if to make sure Remus isn't about to tumble over. "Sorry, James." He mutters, but James just shakes his head, keeps a gentle hold. 

“Oh, love, you sound like you need some good nights sleep." A pause, and his Mum proves that once again she has a knack for asking exactly the wrong questions. "Who was it? Have you heard from the police yet?” 

Remus goes still. And the lie rolls of his tongue without making the decision, without hesitation. “Just some random guy at the bar." His voice sounds far away, like through a tunnel. "He came outside, he was pretty drunk or stoned I think.” He hears Hope gasp a bit at the other end of the phone, and realises they might connect the phone call with it happening. “It was quite a bit later," he thinks to add, hoping they won't manage to blame themselves. "Everyone just kept saying, I in the wrong place at the wrong time. I um,” he hesitates, curls forward over his knees and bracing himself there. “I don’t remember it at all well, really. The police are following up, so hopefully they’ll figure it out.” Liar, liar, liar-

Remus's chest hurts, now. Maybe not just from the bruises, either. He takes another gulp of warm tea, pressing the phone to his ear with his shoulder, before leaning forward to pass it to a waiting James. 

"-so terrible, my love-" and Remus misses a bit more of what Lyall is saying. Remus begins to feel a bit dizzy again, exhaustion catching at his thoughts. He carefully lifts his left hand, avoiding stretching his taped fingers, and closes his eyes as he rests his forehead in the palm of his hand. He's at an alright angle for his ribs, and it's better, for a moment, to hide from the light of the airport.  The hand at his back presses again, and stays there, a line of warmth. It helps him breathe. 

“-but where on earth were your university friends?”

“They were around, but it all happened too quickly." Remus says, somehow finding the words, and he can feel how quickly he's running out of energy. "They came as soon as they realised, it wasn’t their fault." The fingers on his back seem to shift, slightly, before settling again. "They didn’t know what was going on, it happened too quickly. But look, main thing is," Remus's head is aching. "I’ll," he stumbles a little, and takes a deep breath. "I'll be fine, once I’m home and can rest a bit.” He takes a breath, tries to make his voice cheerful. “Look, I'm sorry it's such a short call, but I better go. I think they're about to call us, and I need to go to the loo." What was one more lie, after the last twenty four hours? "I'm excited for a nap on the plane." He tries to make it a joke, and Hope does make a sound that's almost a laugh. Mainly a relieved little huff, he thinks. 

“We'll let you go in just a minute, but love, should you be sleeping if you’ve got a concussion?” And Lyall’s voice is concerned, far than Remus has heard in a long time.  

“I promise it's fine, Dad. All the doctors were fine with it, with sleeping and flying and screens." Remus curls a little more. He's almost done. Almost entirely used up. "They just told me to get checked out again tomorrow.”

“Oh, Remus, well, we'll let you go." His Mum sounds a little calmer, though. "We were so upset to hear, it’s such an awful thing.”

“I'll be okay," Remus says, a little blankly again. "The team are all looking after me.” He feels James squeeze his knee, gently. He can't quite find the energy to look up. 

“Of course they are!” and “We knew they would be!” come through immediately, and Remus huffs a quiet breath, almost a chuckle.

“Alright, I better go. I love you guys, and we’ll talk soon."

"Yes, call us soon, love."

"I’ll ring tomorrow." Remus tries. "Think I’m just going to get home and crash.”  

“We'd like to know when you're home, love, please." His Dad is firm.  

“Yeah, yeah okay. I’ll text you when I'm home, or something." Remus sways a little, and James catches his shoulder. "Love you guys," he rasps. "And all my love to Jules.”

They chorus their goodbyes, and Remus fumbles the phone. Someone takes it from his hand, "Hung up." Logan confirms, softly, and Remus nods against his palm. It tugs at his fingers. Fuck, his head is pounding. 

“Easy, Remus." Sirius says, softly. The warm hand rubs his back, and presumably, it belongs to him. "You got him, James?" 

"Yeah." James sounds sure. "Think he's just knackered."

"Yeah." Remus breathes, because he is. "And my head-" he cuts himself off, too late, as his voice cracks. Fuck. 

"Yeah," Sirius sounds so understanding. "It's too loud in here. We'll be on the plane soon, Remus." 

Remus's head swims. 

"Can you have some more water, Loops?" James asks, hopefully, but Remus licks his lip, which stings, and mumbles no.

Christ, the dizziness was getting worse as the noise around them seemed to ratchet up. Can he really get on a plane like this?

“Sit tight with him, Tremz." The hand on his back disappears, but is replaced in seconds. Logan reaches around, very gently, to hold his left shoulder. With James keeping him from folding too much, and Logan keeping him upright, Remus can actually relax a bit.

"Cap?" James asks, and then there's the noise of Sirius standing.

"I'm going to go and source the best noise cancelling headphones we've got. Mine are dying. Got him?"

Remus wishes he could say thank you, but everything is beginning to throb, and he wants more tea, but he feels a bit sick. So he stays there, quiet and miserable. 

“Oui, cap, we’ve got him.” Logan sounds calm, and Sirius must move away. It's barely a second or two before Remus feels someone sit on his left side. 

"Just me, Remus." Pascal murmurs, and his shoulder props Remus up, and he's boxed in on all sides. Remus relaxes a little more. "Rest, mon fils. You're almost there."   

When Remus sinks into his seat on the plane, he’s not quite where he normally would be. The staff often sat at the front, but he's somewhere towards the back, now. But Sirius and Logan had guided him into this row, and Pascal had quietly passed him a pillow. He settles back against the window, like he had on the bus, and sags. "Thanks." He manages, and Sirius nods. 

"Here." He offers the headphones. "Can I connect them to your phone?" 

"I," Remus hesitates. "If someone needs to watch tape," he tries, and Logan rolls his eyes. 

"Here." He passes the cracked phone over, which Remus had forgotten he's been holding onto, towards Sirius. 

"Code?" Sirius asks, looking up. A hint of a teasing look. "Just not sure your face ID will work." 

Remus, somehow, manages a laugh. It's soft, a little choked, but it's real. His stupid smile, stupid, stupid smile- tugs at his torn lip, but he doesn't care. They're on the plane. It's already more quiet. He's so close to being able to sleep. "Kick a guy when he's down." He mutters, and Sirius smirks a bit. 

"Let's try it then, if you don't want me to know your super secret passcode." Sirius holds the phone out before Remus can argue, and Remus squints at the screen. Quite remarkably, it opens. "See?" Sirius chirps, changing his tune, and Logan snorts. "Told you you were fine."

"Ha." Remus sags back a bit, as Sirius taps at the phone for a few seconds. "You're funny. Don't know where you got your med degree, but-" Remus winces, suddenly, not finishing his sentence.

Logan's smile fades immediately, and Sirius's humour drops away. Remus has caught something on his chest, by leaning sideways. Logan disappears for a few seconds, before he reappears, with a large Lion's jersey in hand. Tremblay, on the back. 

"Padding, for your side." Logan suggests, and Remus accepts it, clumsily tucking it down by his side, so he can tilt back against the two seats and relax. 

"Thanks." Remus sighs, and tries not to yawn. 

"Here." Sirius says, and hesitates to hand the headphones over. "Your fingers." He explains quietly, and then reaches out and simply places them over Remus's ears. "No music." Sirius says, but it's so muffled he can barely hear it, and the amount of noise that cuts out is unbelievable. The plane, abruptly, falls silent around him.

Remus wishes he could afford headphones like these, that probably more than half of the players have, but he knows he can't. 

"Thank you." Remus mumbles, and then Logan is pulling out a pair of sunnies, eyebrow raised. "Please." He accepts them, and by tucking them beneath his headphones, he doesn't have to rest them on his nose. The sudden darkness, and lack of noise, makes Remus's brain go, sleep. "Thanks." Remus says, again, and someone pats his knee. It feels like Logan, just a hint of teasing, in the motion. 

Somebody takes his right hand gently, tucking the phone into his palm, and Remus relaxes back. He's actually, somehow, comfortable. For the first time since it happens, Remus isn't aching in any particular spot. 

Remus sighs, and his eyes are already closing, and then he's asleep. 

His headphones are gently lifted away his ears, and the comforting and slightly oppressive silence disappearing.  

“Allons-y, Loops.” A hand presses gently on his shoulder, and Remus squints up. Sirius is hovering in front of him, bag over his shoulder. James is beside him, patiently. 

Sirius reaches out a hand, and it takes Remus an embarrassing amount of time to realise what’s happening. Oh, they've somehow arrived.

Fuck, he aches as soon as moves, and everything hurts again.

He gingerly takes the sunglasses off with a quiet and croaky thanks, and unsteadily finds his feet to step out into the aisle. He sways once he’s standing, and Sirius supports him with a quiet -"merde."  

“Sorry, bit dizzy,” Remus mumbles, and Sirius nods.

“Alright to walk, Remus?” James checks, and Remus nods before he remembers why it's a bad idea. 

“Yeah, yeah.” But he’s a bit breathless, and his free hand comes up to touch his chest.  

“Let’s get you home.” James says, appearing behind him to hook his arm through Remus's left armpit. Sirius takes a hold of his right arm, and they keep him steady as they walk the aisle. Remus needs all the support they quietly offer, though, because his legs feel more than just a bit shaky.

“Merde, Loops. Looking flash.” And they’re somehow in the tunnel, and Logan is there, Leo and Finn peering around his shoulder.

Remus swallows, but he can't quite catch his breath enough to answer. 

“Jesus, Loops.” Thomas is there too, face creased with worry. “Should you be at the hospital?” He glances between Sirius and James. "Should he be at the hospital?

James evidently realises that Remus isn't going anywhere without more help, but when he lifts Remus's arm around his shoulder, Remus yelps. His bruised ribs complain loudly, and James releases him hurriedly. "Shoot," James says, helping him lean against the wall. "Shit, sorry, sorry. Your ribs?" 

 Remus mumbles confirmation and sags against the wall.

“I think the codeine’s worn off.” He says, blankly, and James squeezes his arm.

“Then you’ll take some more before we go another step.” James’s voice is firm. “No point being in pain. Sooner you take it, the better.”

"What's the time?" Remus checks, training somehow coming to life, and winces when Sirius tells him. Whoops. "Shoot." Remus mumbles. "Few hours."

Sirius and James trade what looks like a quick, guilty look, and Remus straightens. "Hey, no, I forgot," Remus says. "That's definitely not your fault." He mutters, and digs in his pocket for the meds.

He’s half worried he might cause a blockage in the tunnel for the team, but the tunnel seems emptier than it should be. Had Sirius and James waited until the plane had emptied off? Thinking back now, Remus hadn’t seen any filled seats, so they must have – but god, his thoughts are like sand at the minute.

James offers a drink bottle, and Remus takes a small swig to down the pills. 

“I’ll drive you, Remus." James says, and Remus is too tired to argue. He walks between James and Sirius, until they emerge into the airport lounge, and then the team are there. 

“Give us a ring once you’ve heard from the doctors tomorrow." Arthur says, concern obvious. Remus thinks he nods, agrees, but then it's Moody standing in front of him. 

“Take care, lad.” And Moody presses a hand against his shoulder, but then it's Pascal, murmuring in French. "Prends soin de toi," and then it's a rapid rotation through the team, until Thomas is drawing him into a gentle hug, and then Logan, and then it's a blur, and Remus limps on, upright only through the constant strength of Sirius and James, who hang onto him. 

Remus blinks, and they're somehow outside. He blinks again, and they're approaching James's car, the lights flashing, and then he's been levered inside, and he remembers meeting Sirius's dark eyes tiredly, and then he's sagging backwards against the seat. 

James is talking, voice low and gentle from nearby, and maybe he's on the phone? The quiet rumble of the car doesn't hurt, but Remus realises that he doesn't remember saying goodnight, or thank you, to Sirius. 

Remus opens his eye for a moment, and watches the building slide past. It's almost instantly dizzying, and he retreats again into darkness, clumsily tugging his hood up. 

"Come on, Remus." James said, and Remus peered at him. James is stood waiting, in the open door. He recognises James's house, and Remus accepts the hand to help him down. James keeps talking, but it could be Spanish for all that Remus can understand it. He's never been so exhausted. 

James helps him up the steps, and then the door is swinging open, and Lily is lit up by the warm golden light behind her. Her eyes are wide, and she looks pale. Her mouth is moving, but Remus isn't catching much. 

Remus blinks, and James is helping him through the door. Again, and they're in the spare room. James lowers him down onto the bed, and Lily is there, stroking his hair back gently. 

Remus is dully surprised that he's here, and not home, but grateful. "Lils." He mumbles, and she kisses his forehead gently, easing him back against several pillows. 

"I'll call your Mum, love, let her know you're here with us." She murmurs, and the light dims. Lily slowly helps him slide the hoodie off, and then she's drawing up the covers. “Rest, Remus, love. I’ll check on you later.” She presses a kiss against his cheek, and he relaxes.

And the lights are out, and he’s comfortable, and then he’s asleep.  

Chapter Text

Remus blinks awake to soft darkness, and realises he's slept through the afternoon and into the night. He's too stiff to turn and look for a clock, or pat about for his phone. His face is aching, fiercely. Maybe that's what woke him up. 

He groans, softly. 

Oh, fuck, he aches.

He feels a bit like he's been in a rough game, pummelled by some idiotically huge giant and then left out on the ice for too long. 

He's fairly confident it's been more than four hours since he took codeine at the airport, but he has some odd memories of familiar voices through the afternoon and evening, so he can't be sure that Lily or James didn't give him more. His medical hindbrain, still somehow rather strong, warns him against risking it. 

So, instead of checking the time or digging for more pain relief, Remus lies there in a distant fuzzy state, and aches. 

Eventually, without realising it's happening, Remus drifts away to sleep.  

A soft knock wakes Remus from a light sleep, and he squints an eye open to discover that soft sunshine has eased it's way gently into his room. He still can't see much more than fuzzy shadows out of his right eye, and his whole face his throbbing lowly in the background. More irritating than that though, is his throat. It's so dry that-

"Remus?" Remus squints again. Shit. The door. Someone had- "Are you up, Re?" And the door creaks open a fraction. Red hair catches his eye first, and then Lily's face creeps in, green eyes concerned. Right, Remus remembers, he's at their house. 

Remus blinks at Lily rather uselessly, and her expression softens even more when she sees him watching her. "Morning, Re." She murmurs, and slips into his room. 

"Lils," he manages, through  it's croaky.

She moves to perch on the bed beside him, with a small smile. Her hand settles gently on his arm, that's resting above the covers. He's still propped up against the pillows, almost exactly where someone had helped him settle last night. Remus was usually a restless sleeper, so it was a little off putting that he hadn't moved an inch overnight. He really must be exhausted. 

"Oh fuck, Remus," Lily scans him, looking a little teary. "Shit, I'm so sorry." 

"M' alright." Remus mumbles, and Lily squeezes his hand gently.

"Yeah," Lily shifts. "You will be soon, Re." Lily shifts. "You're overdue for your pain meds, do you want to take some?"

He nods, immediately, but winces when it pulls at his throat. 

She wordlessly grabs a drink bottle he hadn't even spotted from his bedside table, and passes him two small pills. His left hand is still pulled in protectively, but she drops them into his right palm and he swallows them with a small sip of water. His throat is dry, and sore, but he cautiously takes a few more sips. It helps. Remus sighs, and ignores the tug from his ribs. 

"How are you feeling?" She leans forward, slowly moving to brush his hair back. "Did you sleep?" 

"Think so," Remus says, frowning. "Don't really remember." That was probably good, right?

"We checked on you through the evening." Lily says, softly. "But you were pretty conked out." 

"Yeah." Remus still feels like he is, actually. 

"James found your discharge notes." Lily murmurs, perhaps somehow she's noticed his background headache that seems to be causing some noise sensitivity. His head says, that means something- but Remus can't think of what that might be. "Re?" Lily squeezes his hand again, and Remus blinks at her.   

"Sorry." He manages. "Sorry, what did you say?" It's still croaky. 

"You're fine." She soothes. "You're alright." Remus relaxes a little. "I was just saying that I rang and booked your revisit, at eleven." 

"Oh. Well, thanks." Remus nods, and he'd forgotten that they'd said he'd need one. 

"You can keep sleeping until then, though." Lily smiles at him, but Remus can tell she's still upset. "Are you hungry?" 

"No." Remus feels a bit sick, actually. 

"Nauseous?" Lily looks sympathetic. "I have some meds for that, if you wanted." 

"Yeah?" Remus doesn't normally thinks it's a good idea to take someone else's prescription meds, but the low unease in his stomach was rapidly progressing into true nausea. "Maybe, please. I'll try remember to get some dispensed at the revisit."  

"Of course. I'll get them in a second, I'll just double check if there's a contraindication with your codeine." She pulls out her phone, and scans quickly. Remus closes his eye again, settling back, and Lily keeps a gentle elbow on his leg, beneath the covers. It's a warm point of contact, and Remus feels sleep tugging at him. 

"They're fine to take together." Lily confirms softly, "I'll just go and grab them." 

"Thanks." Remus mumbles, because the nausea hasn't gone anywhere. He hears her footsteps, and then before long, she's back.  

"Under your tongue, it dissolves." 

Remus takes it from her, slips it beneath his tongue, and breathes steadily. He should have remembered, about codeine. It had done it to him last time, too. 

"James has been fielding messages on the group chat." Lily says, softly. Maybe trying to distract him. 

"Yeah?" Remus mumbles, all he can really manage. 

"Yeah. I think we'll be getting some visitors this afternoon, if you're up to it." 

"Sure." The fogginess seems to be rising again. "What time's, um," Remus loses his train of thought, and stumbles to a stop.   

"Eleven." Lily's perfume smells sweet, as she leans in to kiss his forehead. "I'll wake you in plenty of time, Re. Go back to sleep." 

"Kay." Remus suddenly blinks. "Oh," he squints at Lily painfully. "Forgot to message m'rents."  

"It's all sorted. I've been messaging with your Mum, they're all fine." Lily settles him, and Remus relaxes back. "Just let your pain meds kick in, Re, and some more sleep." Another kiss on his forehead, and Remus lets go. 

"Thank you." Remus manages, before he yawns. He grunts lowly when it hurts his neck, and Lily hums softly. 

"You're welcome." A hand runs through his hair, and Remus starts to drift almost immediately. "Just get some rest."

The next time there's a slightly louder knock, Remus is sort of already half-awake. His room is bright, and he's been staring dazedly at the soft yellow curtains for a while. It seems to be moving sometimes, but then he'll blink, and the curtain will be utterly still. 

"Remus?" A low call, and the door creaks open. 

Remus rolls his head leisurely, to find that it's James peering in this time. 

James is dressed casually in Lion's gear, and he smiles warmly when they make eye contact. "Loops, man, how're you feeling?" His voice is pitched low. 

"Yeah," Remus croaks. "Bit better, thank you." He is, actually. Everything is hurting a little less, and it seems like the extra hours sleep have helped. The anti nausea pill has done the trick too.

"Shit, I'm glad. That's so good." James looks pleased, more cheerful, as he comes in and settles on the bed. Remus is vaguely amused to see it's in almost exactly the same spot and pose as Lily, a few hours ago. "The group chat has gone insane, man. And I've had like four phone calls already. I'm pretty sure we're going to start getting walk-ins soon."   

"Jeez," Remus says, rather touched and quite amused, and James laughs. "I was so whacked yesterday, I barely remember it, aside from some pretty decent-" It's the beginnings of a joke, but James's smile drops away abruptly, and Remus stumbles to a stop at the dawning horror on James's face. "What's wrong?" Remus wishes he could raise an eyebrow.  

"You don't remember yesterday?" It's too sharp, fast. 

Remus fumbles, "No, yeah, I do, I just more meant-" 

"But yesterday you said you only maybe had a mild concussion?" James's tone has completely changed, his whole bearing has become tense, and he leans forward urgently. "But if you don't remember yesterday, that's a sign of way more than a mild concussion, Loops." Remus wants to frown, correct his assumption and ease his panic, but he's still a bit bewildered, feeling like he's too slow to catch up or pause the conversation. "Look," James hesitates, "I'm not prying, but I heard what you said on the phone. About, what you said with your previous concussion, at university."

It's a loaded statement, and Remus looks away. He can't help but withdraw, immediately.

James obviously sees it though, because he hurries on. "I'm not, I swear I'm not prying. But if you're struggling to remember-" James is talking faster and faster, and Remus reaches out to grab James's wrist as he finally looks back at his friend.  

"I do remember, Pots, honestly. It was just a joke, I swear," Remus says, earnestly. James settles, a little, but he's still biting his lip. Remus hates how anxious he looks. It makes James looks young.

Remus continues, as soothingly as he can, "I was going to say, I barely remember anything apart from everyone's mother-henning. But I do remember it all, I promise. I was just pretty knackered." Remus hesitates, shoulders curling up. But he owes James this, after the last twenty four hours. Remus sighs, meets James' gaze as steadily as he can. "I did have a bad concussion at university, and, yeah, my parents worry." He tries to look firm. "I wouldn't fuck around with that, Pots. Alright?"   

James relaxes then, properly. He actually sighs, and Remus feels a huge wave of fondness rise up in his chest.

"Okay." James sags a bit in relief. "Phew. Okay, yeah. I know, sorry, I-" 

"Don't apologise for caring man, jeez." Remus attempts a smile. It's a little easier than yesterday. There's a pause, when James looks like he's hesitating over something else, and Remus hastily changes the subject before he can ask more questions about Remus's concussion. "What's the time?"  

"Just before ten." 

"Jesus," Remus jolts a little. "Fuck, alright, I should definitely get up-" but his breath catches, bruising on his chest flaring in complaint, and he groans. Fuck, he's stiffened up.

James hand settles carefully on Remus's arm, and he gently eases him back against the pillows. "You can do whatever you want, man." James sounds coaxing. "But I think you're going to need to let me help. Alright? Just, pause for a second." He smiles. "There's no rush Loops, we can figure it out."  

Remus hesitates, only to remember that he's said much the same to James sometime in the last few games when he'd had a blood injury and needed to take a pause mid-game. Remus sags back, and mock-glares as best he can. "If I could roll my eyes, I'd be doing that right this second."   

James starts to smile, looking lighter. 

"Using my own words against me, that's just-"

"I would've put money on you being a shit patient, actually." James sits back a little, and he's beginning to grin. "Like, that's actually very predictable. I might have to put that on the group chat-" James actually raises his phone like he's going to take a photo, and Remus flicks him in the leg, because he can see the screen is black. 

"Oi, fuck right off." Remus wants to roll his eyes again, and blinks instead. God, how often does he do it?  

"And your language is shocking," James teases. "You hide that pretty well at work, most of the time. What would Moody think?"

Remus flicks him again, because Moody's language is far worse, and James finally settles from teasing with a last grin. "Alright, alright." James looks a little more serious. "So, we've put a chair in the shower for you in the bathroom across the way. Do you reckon that'll be doable?"

"Thank you." Remus sighs. "I reckon that's sensible, honestly." A deeper breath, and he winces for two reasons. The pain, and the fact that he definitely still smells like hospital. "I really, really need a shower."   

James nods, understandingly. "Always makes you feel more human. I'll give you a hand getting up and shit, and I've found some clothes that'll fit alright." 

Remus smiles as best he can. "Thanks, Pots. I really appreciate you and Lils, man."

"We appreciate you too." James says, immediately. "You're staying until you're fine, by the way. Dunno if Lily mentioned that, but you are. And I'm pretty sure you'll want to have a shower before half of our team descends on our fucking house." James blinks. "Oh, and your appointment." 

Remus huffs a quiet laugh, and nods. Our team, James had said, and something warm, calming, sparks to life in his chest. 

And then James hesitates, "Look, Loops," he pauses. "Remus, man, I hope you know, we're here if you want to talk about. Alright? Me and Lils, we kind of just figured you'd want to, like, raise it all when you wanted. But, we're not ignoring it. We're here if you need to talk about it. Yeah?"  

Remus looks down, raising his good hand to his chest and rubbing lightly over his collarbone. Greg's big t-shirt is still comfy and warm, and he focuses on the bold white lettering of Wisconsin written across his chest. It makes him feel solid. "Thanks, James." His voice is a little croaky, and he has to actually blink back some heat from his eyes. 

"'Course, man." James squeezes his wrist again. "Can I help you get up?" 

"Yeah, please." Remus forces himself to accept the help. "I reckon I'll be even more stiff than I was."

"Always the way after a hit, hey." James answers, softly. "Takes a couple days, maybe. No tylenol, yeah?"

"No, won't help the bruising." 

"We'll get you an icepack and stuff for your eye, then." 

"Thanks."

And then they're silent, as James draws the covers back and Remus eases himself sideways. His legs come down off the bed, and he stays there for several breaths. James crouches down at his feet, like an odd echo of the airport, and watches Remus closely. "Okay? Feeling dizzy?"  

"No, just, just sore." Remus pauses, makes sure he's telling the truth. "I'm think I'm okay. Can you help me up, please?"  

James stands immediately, gripping Remus's elbows gently, and draws him up to standing. They pause there, but Remus nods that he's alright, and James keeps a solid hand on him as they make the short walk across the corridor into the bathroom.

There is indeed a plastic chair in the shower, and the shower door has been left open, and all of the shampoos and body-wash have been left in a caddy within easy-reach. Remus can't help but smile to see the care they've taken. "Thanks, James." He murmurs, and James nods. 

"Course, mate." James scans him more carefully. "Need a hand getting changed?" He offers, and Remus hesitates. James quirks a small, knowing smile. "You can give it a go, if you want? I can hang outside for a second, and you can grab me if you need to." 

It's weird, being on this side of things. Quite unsettling, actually. James has nailed it though, given him an out. It's something similar to what Remus would've said, probably.   

Remus gives up on being stubborn. "Maybe my shirt and jumper, please. Reckon my ribs will tug if my arms go up too much."

"Sure." James is casual, as he steps close. "Let me know if something hurts." And Remus quirks his lip again, because that's definitely out of his playbook. There's a small, knowing smile, on James's face. But it helps. And James is gentle as he helps Remus ease the loose t-shirt up. "Alright?" He checks, about half way, and Remus nods wordlessly.  

He avoids looking at himself in the mirror, but he can't hide from James's reaction.

"Jesus fucking hell." James mutters, as he begins to expose more of Remus's chest. 

Remus doesn't meet his gaze, and lifts his arms up as far as they'll go to help James get it off. And then it's over his head, and it barely touches his face because James is being so careful, and then he's free.  

Remus looks down because he can't help it, and his chest is a myriad of blues and purple bruises, the deepest of which is just below where his ribcage ends. His abdomen is bruised too, one in particular curling to stain blue down his right side. Remus still doesn't look in the mirror, or try to twist and see his back. He can feel he's bruised there too. 

"Fucking hell, this guy needs to be in jail." James mutters, and Remus looks up to find James staring at his chest, looking a bit sick.    

"I'm alright, Pots, honestly-" And then Remus sees James freeze, his face going from upset and sharpening into shock.  

Remus frowns at him, and then realises where James's gaze is locked. 

Remus freezes.

One breath, inhale, and out, exhale-

And James's hands come up as if to apologise, but his jaw is half hanging open, and he's about to ask, he's, he's about to ask-

"Get out, please-" Remus manages, through a tight throat, and James tears his gaze away, meets Remus's eyes at last, his own eyes wide and confused. "James-" Remus begs, and James startles. 

"I'm going, I'll-" James spins away, but turns back like he can't help himself. "Your, your shoulder-" 

"Please just get out, Pots-" Remus knows he sounds desperate, but he can't help it. He realises he's pressing backwards, as far as he can go. Remus bumps against the sink, and James's face twists with a new worry. 

"I won't tell anyone. I won't, I won't tell Lily, even," James stumbles over his words, just as he half-trips over the t-shirt on the floor and stumbles, and they both go still again, inhale, and exhale, and they're both just staring at one another. "I won't tell anyone. You know I won't, that's, it'll be like I never saw it. I won't-"

The scar is huge and horrible, winding across the front of his entire shoulder joint. It's far worse on his back though, and Remus is distantly grateful that at least James hadn't seen that.

Remus realises he's covering it, covering his shoulder instinctively with his left hand, even though it pulls at his fingers and his chest. 

"Loops, I promise, I swear-" James breathes it into the silence, and Remus manages a nod. 

"Thanks." Inhale, and- "Can you go now, please, though-" and James's face is horrible to see, but he nods, eyes flicking to Remus's fingers where they're hiding the joint, and then he spins around towards the door and hurries the two steps out. 

The door clicks closed, and Remus numbly crosses the bathroom to flick the lock. He knocks the fan on with an elbow, and then sinks down onto the edge of the bath. And then, Remus cries. 

It stings his face. 

Remus manages the shower through sheer stubbornness. The warm water eases his muscles as much as it stings the bruises, but it's worth it. And after a few minutes, Remus relaxes. He's glad he's sitting down, a little light headed, but he manages to wash his hair and clear the smell of the hospital away. He's left with some lavender scented shampoo which clears his head a little, too. 

Finding the energy to leave the shower is hard, drying off harder still. But he manages it, because he won't let himself call for him.

He finds the clothes James has left for him on the sink, and distant fondness touches him. He wishes James hadn't seen his scar, hadn't seen Remus's reaction to James seeing his scar, but- well, Remus can trust James. His kindness was everywhere, and obvious in the huge oversized Lion's jersey, clean underwear, and some black sweatpants. 

Remus folds into the clothes almost desperately. He desperately feels the need to cover himself up. To re-build some of the walls that've been torn down over the last two days. 

It's doable, because the shower's eased him a lot. And although he struggles with the jersey, it's worth it, and then, finally, he can look at himself in the mirror.  

His face is bruised, swollen across his right cheek and his eye still mostly closed. His eyebrow has a cut just above it. His lip is better, he'd not dunked his whole face in the water so the steri-strip has stayed on. His hair is wet,  and his one open eye doesn't look red or like he's been crying. 

He swallows down his stress, tries to swallow his anxiety. Swallows down the anger at Fenrir, swallows down the fear that it all might come to light. 

And he tries a smile. 

It's pained, and his eye still looks grim. But it's better. 

He swallows everything down and tries to lock it back up where it used to be. 

And then he goes to find Lily and James. 

They're in the living room together, James watching tape with Lily curled up beside him tapping on her phone. They both look up when he comes in, and Remus tries a smile for them. James pauses the game, and he sends a quick look at Lily, who stands immediately. 

"Oh, Remus," Lily says, walks over to him. "Don't worry about putting on a brave face, please. You're allowed to be knackered and sore." And when she draws him into a gentle hug, Remus sighs, feeling all hard work he'd done in the bathroom shatter.

She draws him over to the couch, settling him on the three seater with some pillows to keep him upright, and perches beside him once he's reclining back and his legs are up. "How're you feeling? Could you eat, maybe?"  

She looks so hopeful, that he tries. 

"Maybe something small please, Lils." He pauses, "Did you have my phone please?" He quirked a small smile. "Thanks again for ringing my Mum." 

"Of course." 

"We left it on your bedside table, I'll grab it." James stands and disappears down the corridor, and Lily squeezes his good hand.  

"She'll be wanting another phone call today I bet, but I said we'd let you sleep as long as we could."

"Thank you, Lils." She smiles at him gently. "Was she alright?"

"Worried, but she was okay. Relieved you were here, I think." 

Remus smiles again, but it's crooked and a little more real this time. "I'm happy I'm here too, Lils. Really, thank you."

"Of course." She brushes his hair back gently. "Just relax, Re. I'll get you a smoothie or something light, alright?"

"Thank you."  

James comes back in then, and Lily passes him with a soft look. 

"Thank you." Remus repeats, because that's apparently all he can say at the moment, as James passes over his phone. 

"You're fine. Is it alright if I watch some tape?" 

"Of course, yeah." 

And the noise flicks back on, James reclining with a small notepad that Remus hadn't seen before. James's gaze flicks to Remus every so often, but mostly he seems to focus on the game in front of him. 

Remus opens his phone, blinking at the half a dozen messages sat there. "Jeez," he mutters, and flicks through. 

Talkie

[7:18am] hope you're alright this morning. will swing by later if you're up to it. 

[7:18am] am i the first person to text? it's cause i care the most <3333

Mum

[8:02am] How're you feeling love?? Lily updated us last night thank you said you were there such a relief not at your flat by yourself! Love you xx

Dad  

[8:07am] Hope you're alright Remus. Ring us today? Love you x

Moody

[8:20am] Arthur says you've the rest of the week off. Don't come back to work before you're ready, or I'll send you home. Keep me posted on concussion. 

Arthur

[8:22am] Hope you're less sore this morning. You've the rest of the week off, don't come back before you're ready. Have you heard about concussion and the rest yet? Rest up. - Arthur

Remus straightens a touch then, blinking at the message that's just popped through. 

SB

[10:02am] How are you doing? 

[10:02am] Please tell James he's on dry laps forever if he doesn't update the group chat soon. I'm getting phone calls from everyone because they think he's answering my texts. He's not.   

"Um, Pots," Remus is somehow close to laughing. 

James looks up, and Remus actually chuckles at his rather caught look. 

"Sirius just messaged, he's said something about you not replying on the group chat? I think, I think he's threatening you with laps." 

James's face blanches a bit, and he winces. "Look," and James pauses again. Remus wishes he could raise an interrogatory eyebrow, but James continues before he can. "I just wanted to know what you wanted me to say. And, with before," he hesitates, and Remus's smile fades away. "I just wanted to check. Not go behind your back. Alright? I thought maybe you could read the chat, let me know what you want me to say." 

James passes his own phone over, opened on the group chat, just as another text buzzes through. 

Lions

Knut

[9:42am] reckon we can just show up to drop food round at James's place??

Talkie

[9:43am] I'm tempted to just rock up too. But probably sit tight until we hear. 

Remus sits there and scrolls up, half-smiling helplessly at the dozens of messages going up full of grown ass men worrying about as much as his Mum, and then flicks down on the chat as Talkie texts again. 

Talkie

[9:45am] @cap, any news from @ pots (who's still not answering this chat???)

Cap

[9:45am] not yet. will let you know. 

Remus smiles as best he can, both at James's thoughtfulness and the kindness of everyone. 

It makes him feel quite warm, actually, to be sat here in James's house with a Lion's jersey on, with the group chat being lit up by various concerned friends and- Remus inhales the warmth slowly, uses it to rebuild some of his barriers. All of it just makes him feel a part of the team. It's risky, to luxuriate in it too much, when it's not real. But now, for today, Remus sinks into it. 

He's not, of course, and he glances down at the Lion's jersey he has on, he knows he's not, and it's almost like having the Wisconsin jersey back on, but not quite, and- 

"What do you reckon then?" James asks, and Remus looks up, realising he's zoned out. 

"Sorry," Remus pauses, glances down again. "I don't mind, Pots." He looks up, tries to convey his gratitude. "Thank you, man." 

"Yeah, of course." But James seems to relax a bit.

"You can them know I'm up and I'm fine, and that they can stop mother-henning any day now, because I'm not letting them poach my job." The humour was coming more easily, now. 

James snorts, but accepts his phone back and taps away easily. He's putting his phone down beside him, reaching for the remote, when it starts buzzing. 

James checks it, and huffs a laugh. "Mind if I get this? Cap is calling to check up on you." 

"Of course." Remus says, and he's quite curious actually. Oddly, there's a little flutter in his chest. It's nice that Sirius is calling to check on him. 

"Yo." James answers, smiling wryly almost immediately. Remus can hear the buzz of Sirius's voice, speaking rapidly. "Yeah, hey, I know! I'm sorry, I was-" James is evidently cut off again, and then he laughs, "Okay, I'm sorry, I get it. I-" and then there's evidently more telling off because James rolls his eyes at Remus, who can't help but chuckle quietly to himself. 

There's another few seconds of James listening, with several attempts to interject, each one failing.  Remus knows Sirius isn't actually cross, but can well imagine that he's been fielding phone calls for a bit and it's hard to say exactly why Remus feels like he's maybe blushing.  

"Jeez, talk to him, then!" James cries, and stands to thrust the phone at Remus. 

Remus fumbles it a little, reaching out stupidly with the wrong hand, but he gets it after a moment of awkwardness and then he's lifting the phone up to his ear. "Hello?"

"Loops." And how does it always surprise Remus how deep Sirius's voice is? "How are you doing? I was just telling James off for making me field the group chat, when he's been watching every message come through." There's soft amusement there, and Remus smiles a little helplessly.  

James has gone back to the game, tapping his pen gently on his knee. 

"Loops?" 

Whoops, Remus is definitely a bit spaced. "Sorry, Cap. I'm okay, yeah. Thanks for calling." There's a bit more weight there than Remus would like, and he clears his throat. "I'm fine, Pots and Lily taking good care of me." 

"Glad to hear it." He sounds it, and Remus kind of glows a little, turns his face a bit so James can't see whatever the hell his sappy facial expression is doing. "Sore today?" 

"I'm alright." He is, he's fine. He very carefully doesn't shift like he wants to, at the silence that intrudes for several seconds.    

Then there's a soft huff of a laugh. "Do you ever believe me when I tell you that? Because I'm starting to see why you don't."  

Remus laughs again, a little more audibly. "Usually not. But that's my job." 

"Nicely dodged." Sirius sounds amused. "Still waiting for a proper answer though."

Remus sighs, gives in. "I'm okay. Pretty sore, but, not worse. And my head's alright."

"That's the main thing." A breath. "I'm really sorry that we weren't there, Loops."

Remus blinks, at the aching upset in his voice. And Sirius, did he just- "Wait, wait," Remus tries to sit upright a bit, and James glances at him. "This wasn't anyone's fault, Cap. Definitely not yours. I went out for drinks with mates, it wasn't-" Remus stumbles, a little, "It was just bad luck." It was. 

"I'm still sorry it happened." Sirius sounds it, and Remus is just, jeez. The flutter is definitely back.

"Thank you." Remus shakes his head a little. "But don't be like Greg," Sirius makes a confused noise. "And blame yourself. Alright?"

"Greg's the Wisconsin player?" Sirius sounds a little blank.

For a moment, Remus feels a thrill of nerves. But he wrestles himself back under control, because the chances of Sirius finding Remus's history, even in connection with Greg-Wisconscin-Hockey, are realistically very slim. "Yeah, that's him." 

"Hmm. Alright, then." Sirius pauses, and then shifts the conversation on. "Are you being a good patient? Resting up?" Sirius is trying to sound lighter, maybe.  

"James has already said I'm a pretty shit patient." There's a rather long pause, and Remus half smiles to himself. "You were meant to leap in and defend me, right then." 

Sirius laughs, lowly. "You know I would." You know I would. You know I would. Remus's stomach squirms, and he tries desperately to focus as Sirius went on, "But Loops, I have a funny feeling Pots might be right."  

"Rude." Remus is grinning, somehow. It pulls and it hurts a bit, but he's grinning. God, he feels lighter than he has since getting on the plane to Vegas. "That's rude." 

"Sorry." Sirius doesn't sound it, and the amusement is clear in his voice. There's a pause, and Remus tries to control his facial expression, and then Sirius is asking, more gently,"What did you want me to do about the team?" Sirius's voice is calm. "I get if it's going to be a bit much." Remus takes a deep breath. "I get wanting to hunker down post injury, especially," Sirius hesitates, and Remus closes his eyes briefly. "Especially with how it went down. So I can tell them to keep clear of Pot's place, if you want?"  

"No, you're, thank you." Remus isn't actually sure what he wants. But Sirius is being achingly sweet, and Remus knows, he knows, Sirius is just watching out for someone he sees as on his team. Looking out for someone on their Lion's staff. Because he's not on the team, not really. His fingers curl into the Lion's jersey sleeve, before relaxing. "It'd be good to see some of the guys, I'm," he pauses, "I'm pretty whacked I think, actually, on the codeine." He'd forgotten, that he can be a bit like this. "Just, I've got a revisit but otherwise just going to be napping on the couch, probably. So, yeah. It'd be good to see some of them."

"Okay, then." It's as easy as that. "I'll let them know not to swing round all at once though. And Pots can let us know if you're sleeping." Remus smiles a little again, at the firm instruction there. "Do you need a lift to your appointment?"   

Remus pauses, startled. But he's too slow to answer, and Sirius rushes on, "Sorry, that was stupid." He sounds embarrassed. "James or Lily will take you, of course."

Remus wants to say, no, no I'm just so grateful you'd even think to offer- "I, thank you. But yeah, they probably will." Remus knows he sounds startled. "I'm grateful though. And um, yeah, maybe not everyone round at once." 

"I'll sort it out. Rest up, Loops." 

"Cheers, Cap." 

"See you later." 

And the call ends. 

Remus stares down at the phone for a few seconds, bemused. 

"First time being on the receiving end of Cap's mother-henning?" James sounds amused, and he looks it when Remus looks up with a reluctant smile. 

"He's being so kind." Remus sounds a little dazed. "Says he'll field the group chat. But yeah, we might be getting a few visitors." 

"The boys probably won't stay long, they'll just want to check on you." 

"That's usually my job." Remus can hear how bemused he sounds. 

James shrugs, smiling. "Gotta let us take care of you sometimes too, man."

Remus limps back to the couch, after. James supports him gently, helps get him settled, and Lily appears looking a bit anxious. "How did it go?" She comes over as Remus relaxes back against the pillows with a soft grunt. "How are you feeling?" 

"'M'l'rig't." Remus mumbles, eyes closing, a little breathless at his efforts. 

"Bit of hard work, getting there I think." James says, softly, as he releases Remus gently. "But they were happy enough with him, no concussion. Gave him some anti nausea stuff, some more pain meds, and said he needs to rest up."  

Lily strokes Remus's hair back, and he blinks his eyes open, smiling a little and enjoying the lack of pain, before his eye flutters closed again. "S'ry-" he slurs, "Tired. Gave me 'nother jab, for the 'rays." 

"They did more x-rays?" Lily's voice is sharp with concern, again, which really wasn't the point. 

"Yeah, turns out they didn't get a chance to properly x-ray his hand on the night, because he apparently checked himself out." James drops Remus in it without hesitation, and Lily makes a disapproving huff. "They just wanted to get another view, or something. But it was a bit sore, so they gave him a jab of pain killer."  

"What was it?" Lily's hand is back, and Remus relaxes even more, eyelids heavy. 

"Um, I think they said it was a low dose of peth-um, peth-something? Shit, um, Remus? Did they tell you?"

Remus's eyes flicker open, and he blinks, tries to focus. "Um, maybe?" He can't really remember, but he'd agreed to more pain relief willingly enough, unable to splay his hand the way they wanted him to. He's exhausted, actually, fuck- his eyes close again, and Lily hums anxiously from above him. He wants to reach for her, hold her hand, but he can't quite remember which hand is his bad one.  

"God, he's really whacked. Did they say that was normal?" Another gentle brush of Remus's hair, and he hums.  

"Think so, Lils. I think he's just pretty tired, as well. And maybe not sore now, so, yeah." A warm hand squeezes his hand, and props him up a little better against the side of the couch. "He was mostly awake for the x-rays, and in the car back, but I think that whole visit just tired him out a bit."  

"Poor Remus." Lily hums, and Remus sighs. "I'll get you a blanket, and you can have a sleep. Alright?"

Remus hums a little, but now that they're out of the noisy moving car and he's on the couch, and he's not sore, he's already drifting half way towards sleep. "God, he's half asleep already." It's soft, and true, because he is.  

"Hey Lils," a low voice, and Remus sort of wakes up a little, although he doesn't blink open his eyes. "Sirius is coming round soon, he just text. Do you think that's okay?" 

"How's Remus?" Oh, it's Lily now. She's better at speaking softly. 

"He's still out to it. He's sleeping through the tape though, so maybe he won't even notice."

"I don't think Remus will mind. And maybe it'll help Sirius stop the rest of the team from panicking."

"Good point." James sounds amused. 

Remus yawns, and his face aches a little, but he drifts off easily again to the soft sounds of a hockey game on the television.  

Remus wakes to voices, and stretches a little. He still feels like he's being cradled in a warm bath of relaxation, and he only vaguely remembers the nurse that had come through with the two medications. This one for nausea, the same pill, for beneath his tongue, and this one for some better pain relief -

Remus yawns, and it doesn't hurt much. He rolls his head lazily, and looks around the empty living room. The TV's on, but it's muted, and Remus stares at the screen blankly for a few moments.  

And then, finally, Remus tunes into the conversation he can hear getting closer. 

"He's been napping today, to be honest. Especially after the revisit, when they gave him some more pain meds, but I think he's been alright."

"Good for him to rest up." Footsteps. "I'm glad he's staying with you. He lives alone, right?"

"Yeah. No good being on your own after this sort of shit."  

Remus's eyes widen, and he jerks, and suddenly he's trying to yank himself upright. Oh, fuck, the room sort of sways around him, and Remus kind of tips, but he needs to get up because- 

"For sure." 

Because that was Sirius. That was Sirius Black's voice.  

Remus is teetering towards something kind of half-vertical when he hears footsteps, and he looks up to find James and Sirius appearing in the doorway.

James's eyes widen, spotting his somewhat precarious position leaning out over the edge of the couch.  "Loops, hey man, steady on-" James hurries over, catching his shoulders. Remus sort of slumps against him, and James gently helps him back, dragging the pillows to settle behind him. "You alright?" James scans him. "Where were you going?"   

"Um." Remus squints at him, decides that question isn't easy enough, and then turns his head to look at Sirius. "Hi. Sorry." 

"Hey." Sirius raises an eyebrow. "Why are you sorry?" 

"Um." Remus repeats, and peers at James for help. "Dunno?"  

James lip creeps up, and he shoots Sirius a quick look. There's a wealth of communication there, like always, and Remus misses Greg abruptly, like a limb. "J's like G." He says, sadly, and James looks at him curiously.

"Sorry?" 

"No," Remus frowns at him. "Tha's me." Did he slur? He thinks maybe he slurred. Christ. 

"Still high, then." Sirius says, sounding amused. "That's probably good." 

Remus squints at Sirius, quite clearly stood higher than Remus on the couch. "No?" He tries, and Sirius waves him off.  

"Ignore me." Sirius says, and there's a smile lurking about his mouth. Remus huffs, because he could never. "Sorry for waking you."   

"That's 'right." Remus mumbles, and raises a hand to rub at his eye, which is kind of throbbing distantly. 

James abruptly catches his wrist, and Remus freezes, staring at him sadly. "Hey," it's soft, though, gently. "Sorry, please don't look so sad." James gently tugs at his hand. "I just didn't want you to bump your eye, man. Just cause you're not feeling it now," and Remus remembers, oh, that his eye is still swollen shut. "Doesn't mean that that wouldn't have hurt." 

"Oh." Remus sags back a little, gives it up as a bad job. "Sorry." And his eye closes again. "Might go." He warns, meaning sleep, and James hums, releasing his hand gently back onto his chest.  

"You're fine, man. Sleep. The others aren't coming for a couple of hours." 

"Kay." Remus breathes, and then he's drifting. There's a low rumble of familiar voices that seem to follow him towards the tempting pitch, but in the end, they only seem to help usher him on his way. 

Remus wakes up slowly, and yawns. It pulls a bit at his jaw, but it's not too bad. He stretches out, and his foot bumps something. Something warm. Something warm and moving, actually. Remus squints his eye open, and peers towards the other end of the couch. 

Sirius Black quirks a smile at him, and Remus blinks. "Um, hi." He croaks, and Sirius smiles. 

"Hey." 

Remus looks down to where his socked feet are pressing against Sirius's thigh, and jerks. "Oh, god. Sorry." And he curls his legs up hurriedly, stiffly forcing himself to straighten a bit. "Shoot. Hi. Hey." 

Sirius is still smiling, when he checks. "You're fine. How're you feeling?" 

"Awake?" Remus tries, and then yawns painfully again. "Well, more awake." He squints at Sirius, and then realises James is also watching him, from the other couch. "Hi."

James smiles at him gently. "Hey. Good sleep?"

"Kind of the best." Remus laughs a little, stretching carefully, before settling back against the arm of the couch. "Damn." He squeezes his right hand into a fist, carefully, and then relaxes it. He feels week. "I'd forgotten." He mutters, and sends a vaguely amused look at James. "Sorry."

"You're very apologetic." Sirius comments. He and James trade an amused look. 

"What are you sorry for this time?" 

This time? Remus shrugs a little, and the expected tug from his chest isn't much. "I forgot what I'm like, on opioids." He explains. "When I said yeah, to the nurse."

James snorts a little, but Sirius raises an eyebrow. "Plenty of experience with them, have you?" And it's a joke, but Remus abruptly remembers why he has experience with decent pain meds, and freezes. 

"And anyway," James hastily leans forward. "Don't apologise. You were just kind of sleepy." He smiles kindly, and Remus sends a grateful look his way. "Are you hungry? Lily's worried you haven't eaten in like, two days."

Remus frowns. "Has it been two days?" 

"No, not quite." Sirius answers, still watching Remus with a touch of curiosity. He glances at James too, like he knows he's missed something, but settles back. "The hordes are going to descend on the house soon though, so you might need your strength." 

"Oh." Remus yawns again, tiredly. "Cool." 

A moments pause, and James shifts. "So, food?" 

"Remus?" Calls a voice, and Lily appears, relief flashing obviously across her face. "Oh, shit. It's so good to see you awake." She brushes James's shoulder, smiles at Sirius, and perches beside Remus on the couch. "How're you feeling?" 

"Kind of," Remus raises a hand to rub at his forehead, gently. "Kind of whacked, to be honest."  

"He's better than before, though." James says, gently teasing. 

Lily trades an amused look with James, before scanning Remus a little more carefully. "Are you sore? James said the Docs mentioned you can have codeine on schedule." 

"Yeah," Remus vaguely recalls those instructions. "This is why I write things down. Cause of this." He mumbles, and then blinks. Had he meant to say that out loud?

"Yeah, um, right." Lily looks a little confused, but willingly goes along with his weird rambling. "Right." She takes his hand, squeezing gently. "So, you fancy some food?" 

Remus hesitates, wondering if the nausea was going to make a comeback. But it feels safe enough. "Maybe something small please?" 

"Of course. We'll try some toast, maybe?" Lily suggests, and Remus nods. 

"Thanks, Lils." 

She smiles sweetly at him, and glances at Sirius. "Anything for you, Sirius? Food or drink?" 

"I'm fine, thank you." Sirius declines, smoothly. 

"What about me?" James asks, grinning. 

"Well, given it's your house too," Lily stands, smiling. "And you're an adult, and I'm your partner, not your mother-"  

James stands hastily. "I'll get Loops some food, hey? You finish your emails." And he ducks close to brush her cheek with a gentle kiss when she smiles, before moving towards the kitchen.  

"Thanks, darling." She calls, grinning, and flicks Remus an amused look. "Every time."

"Powerful woman." Remus nods, respectfully, and she flashes him a grin. 

"There you are." She says, warmly, and then her phone chirps, in her hand. She checks it, "I'll just grab this, I'll be free in a few minutes to come and sit with you." 

"Thanks, Lils." Remus says, meaning for more than just that, and she leans down to kiss his forehead again. 

Once she's gone, it's just them. Remus and Sirius. 

"How was your revisit, then?" Sirius asks, and Remus smiles faintly. 

"I don't really remember all of it." He says, and Sirius huffs a quiet laugh. "But aside from getting kind of high, it was pretty uneventful." 

Sirius doesn't look amused though, face rapidly becoming concerned. "Why did they have to x-ray your hand again?" Clearly James has mentioned why Remus needed more pain relief. 

"They didn't get all the views they wanted, apparently, on the night." James reappears just in time to answer that question, drink bottle in one hand and mug in the other. He pulls the table a bit closer, propping them both up. 

"Not broken though?" Sirius checks, thankfully not commenting on the rest as James ducks back towards the kitchen, and Remus shakes his head. 

"Clear. And no concussion. So probably just a day or two off work," Remus shrugs. "And then back on light duties for the rest of the week, or something." 

"We fly out in two days, Loops." Sirius raises a doubtful eyebrow. "I kind of doubt Moody will let you get on the plane with your face that blue, but that's probably his call." 

Remus winces, because, well. Fair. He abruptly remembers the texts he's had through from Moody and Arthur, and sighs. "Yeah, yeah, actually I think they said this week, maybe." It grates at him a little, having to have time off. "Though I hate to miss the game." 

"You'll be there for the next one." Sirius says, quietly, and then looks up as James appears. He settles a plate by Remus's hand. 

"Thanks, man." Remus eyes the toast a little nervously, but shoots James a grateful look. "You're secretly a feeder, huh."

"Not so secretly." Lily reappears, and settles close beside James on the other couch. "All sorted." She says, to James's silent question, and he smiles at her. "And speaking of feeders," Lily leans back against James, crossing her legs comfortably, "Any word on our other visitors? I have a feeling they're going to say we don't have enough food in the fridge."

Sirius smiles a little. "I'm pretty sure Leo's cooking up a bit, and Dumo said he'd pop round with Logan later. No doubt he'll come bearing gifts."  

"And Talkie text me privately too, just some cupcake emojis." James snorts. "I'm really hoping he'll show up in a bloody apron or something."

"God, everyone's fussing." Remus winces, although he's grateful too. Everyone turns to watch him, and only Sirius looks sympathetic. 

"Let us fuss, man." James says, firmly. "You always look after us, and this is just," James scans Remus a little gingerly, like he's worried about what he might find. "This is off-ice, you know? It's going to take a second." 

Remus flushes a little, he gets it, he does, he just- god, he just hates causing worry. Remus nibbles at the toast in distraction, and he can feel the others exchanging looks above his head.  

"Loops." Sirius's gaze is steady, when Remus finally looks up to meet his eyes. "We all just want to do what we can." 

Remus quirks a lip, although it stings. And he relents, gives in. "Yeah." Remus shakes his head. "I'm sorry. I know I'm an ungrateful sod. It's just weird, being on this end of it." He gives James and Lily a shared apologetic look. "And a shitty patient, for sure. This role-reversal is throwing me." Remus runs a hand through his hair, and shifts a little when it tugs at his ribs. "I'll get with the program, Cap, I promise." It's his best smile he can offer, at the moment.   

Sirius quirks a lip slightly, and nods, leaning back. "Good. Because my phone just buzzed in my pocket, and I'd put money on that being Knutty, and probably the rest." Sirius and James exchange a quick look. 

And then they all pause, waiting. 

It's only a few seconds, before there's the predicted knock at the door. 

Sirius checks his phone, and nods with a pleased smile. "Called it." 

"Reckon they just decided to ignore us both, and they're all going to be stood outside right now?" James asks, standing to head to the door. 

Sirius barks a laugh. "I'd put money on it, actually."

Remus is warmed by Lily's warm laughters, and relaxes back as best he can. 

Thomas steals Sirius's spot on the couch when he disappears into the kitchen to help James make room in the fridge. Because half of the team has already rotated through James and Lily's house, and they all bought food with them. 

"Leo," Logan's laughing, "I swear to god, how the fuck did you have time to bring, like, an entire lasagne-"

"Lasagne's filling!" Leo sounds amused, and Remus tilts his head as rapid French starts, and he smiles, able to picture Leo and Logan's mock arguing well-enough. 

Remus tilts his head, hearing a deeper voice start, and then he smiles. Logan and Sirius's rapid back and forth is totally incomprehensible to him, but it's nice to hear them bickering like normal. 

Dumo appears a minute or two later, and slumps into the couch tiredly. "Mon dieu." He smiles at Remus. "They are not living together, and yet they are brothers. To argue over space in the fridge," Pascal shakes his head, and Thomas snorts. And then Pascal looks up to fix Remus with a slightly more careful look. "And how are you, my friend?" 

Remus is really starting to realise how much he shrugs, because he's having to consciously avoid the motion. "I'm a bit tired, but better today. And no concussion. The doctors cleared me earlier, which is good."

"Great news, man." Thomas chimes in, clapping Remus's ankle with a warm hand. "I brought you donuts. I'd just like to say, that's how much I care about you."

Remus laughs, and Thomas grins. "I got you cupcakes, but then I ate a few of them, and I didn't think half a dozen cupcakes was as good as a dozen donuts. You know? Also, these food plans are killing me right now, and I'm living vicariously through you. How much time have you got off?" 

Thomas segues so rapidly into a serious question that Remus almost misses it, and Pascal leans forward. "Yes, Cap is saying this week you are not coming to work. Maybe next week, then?" 

"We'll miss you for the game." Thomas shrugs. "Not to say that you should come though, man." He smiles kindly. "Just that we'll miss you. You should definitely rest up though, you're even more blue today, man."

Remus shrugs. "Always the way with bruises, hey."

Thomas raises an eyebrow. "Any news from the police?"

Remus's heart, rather abruptly, starts to jack-hammer in his chest. "Um, no." His tone is all wrong though, words twisting with something, and Thomas's eyes widen. 

"Fuck, maybe I shouldn't have asked. I'm pretty sure Cap said not to ask." 

"You're fine, Talkie, honestly man. I just, I guess I'm not expecting much news."

"They don't think they'll catch the guy?" Thomas sounds disbelieving. "Christ, mental that's possible today, hey." Thomas shoots him a quick look. "But, hey Loops," he pats Remus's leg again. "I reckon just focus on getting better, man. And whatever comes of that shit, I guess they'll sort it out. Yeah?"

Remus nods. "I kind of don't want to think about it much, really. Figure I'll let them sort it out, as much as they can." God, Remus stares at his hands, bruised and scraped. Would they figure it out?

"Loops, man?" 

"Remus?" Pascal's kind voice permeates Remus's thoughts, and he looks up abruptly. "Shit, sorry guys. I'm spacey as, what were you saying?" 

Thomas quirks a lip, although he's very obviously concerned. "Not much, man. Just about Thursday."

"Oh, yeah," Remus nods as brightly as he can. "Feeling alright for it? Oh, did your fingers give you any trouble after the game before last?" He'd been fine, Remus knows he'd been fine, but-

"All good, thanks." Thomas waggles his fingers madly. "Hey, you want a donut? I'm gonna get you a donut." And with a last finger waggle, Thomas disappears into the chaotic kitchen. 

Pascal stands, comes to settle in his spot. "How are you, Remus?"

"I'm alright, Dumo. Really." Remus sags tiredly. "I don't really know what to say when someone asks me that. I'm okay, I'll be fine, I'm not that badly hurt. I am okay, and I will be fine." Remus sighs, heavily. God, he's morose. It hadn't taken much. A single question from Talkie, which was valid enough to ask. 

Remus looks to the older man, and Pascal raises a gentle eyebrow. "Perhaps try the truth, then, mon fils." It's not the first time Pascal has called him that, but today, when he's feeling like this, and everything is a bit much, it's more than enough to bring a bit of heat to Remus's eyes. 

He rolls his head back, stares up at the ceiling. And under the cover of loud voices in the kitchen, sat here with a kind Pascal, who Remus can still feel is watching him with warm, non-judgemental eyes, Remus swallows. 

"I'm tired, Dumo. I'm a bit tired of it all, really." It's more honest than he meant to be, and it probably doesn't make sense, but Pascal just hums. 

Remus closes his eyes, and feels the warm of Pascal's hand land on his knee. "Then rest, mon fils. Things will get easier, hmm?" 

"Yeah, of course. I'm being-" 

"Ah, ah." Pascal cuts him off, gentle still. "Honesty was what I asked of you." 

Remus goes quiet, eyes closing more desperately against the burning warmth. God, rather abruptly and rather overwhelmingly, he wants to be able to go and hide at home. And he wants his dad. And his mum. And his little brother. "Sorry." He apologises, thickly.

And Pascal hums again. "Do not be sorry for being upset, mon fils. It is a terrible thing to have happened." Remus swallows. "A terrible, unkind thing." Pascal's voice has dropped lower, and Remus hears sudden laughter from the other room. "But you are strong, and your team is here for you. So, you will rest, and get better, and return very soon to be asking us all if we are the ones who are alright."

Remus snorts, a little wetly, and Pascal squeezes his knee warmly.

Remus breaths quietly for a few minutes, and Pascal just sits with him.

And then Pascal sighs, softly. "Rest, Remus. Things will get easier. And until then, Cap will order people around to make himself feel better, and I will sit with you and bring you treats my wife has baked, and Logan will argue with Sirius, Thomas will bribe you with donuts, and everyone will do all they can, to make things just a little brighter for you." Remus smiles, eyes still closed, lids growing rather heavy now. "And things will get easier, and you will let us do all of these silly things for you, because it is your turn now for us to show you the kindness you have always given us. Hmm?" 

Remus hums a little, "Yeah," he mumbles, and Pascal squeezes his knee once more, and then releases him. The voices are all a bit quieter now, from the kitchen. And Remus's eyes are heavy again, and he was asleep for ages, but he's comforted. He feels better, and, Remus yawns, widely, and he shouldn't fall asleep while everyone was here. That was rude. 

He should open his eyes, he-

Footsteps, movement around him. Remus should open his eyes. 

"Sleep, man. Donut will be still here for you later." Thomas's quiet voice, now, and a clink of a plate. "Got him, Dumo?"

"I'm quite happy here, thank you." 

And a warm hand gentle on his arm, before retreating footsteps. 

Sirius leans against the side, and James watches him quietly from his own spot. 

Dumo and Logan had just left, the last of them. James's fridge was stocked now, and Remus was still asleep. 

He'd been talking with Dumo and Talkie, the last Sirius had seen him awake. And then Talkie had come in, loudly claimed a donut, and disappeared. His next reappearance had been only to say goodbye, and to report Remus had fallen asleep again. 

Sirius had checked on him, not quite able to resist. And Dumo had been sat quietly where Sirius had sat earlier, watching something on his phone. Pascal had looked up, met Sirius's gaze quietly. And Sirius had read the protectiveness there, the quiet rage in Pascal's tight jaw, and when Sirius had looked at Remus's bruised face, and tired face, even in sleep, Sirius could only match it. 

And now, stood here with James, Sirius can't quite bring himself to go. 

"Want to stay the night?" James offers, softly, and Sirius can only nod. 

Sirius can't quite articulate why it feels almost impossible to get back in his car, and make drive home. 

They have training early tomorrow, so he wouldn't be in Remus's way. 

But it'd be nice, Sirius thinks, to be in the same house for a bit. 

Remus feels better, he does. 

His fingers are stiff, and his mother had cried when he'd finally relented to a facetime last night, and his face is definitely still bruised, but he's better. 

And desperate to get back to work. 

He's in early. Earlier than anyone else, even with the early morning training that's on today. 

And he fiddles about his office, trying to follow his routine, trying to hide his remaining stiffness. 

And Remus sits at his desk, flicking through the paperwork that's waiting for him. God, it'll take hours. 

He's sorted what he needs to before practice, everything sorted and ready for the team. He'll admit it took a lot more out of him than he'd predicted, carrying various shit and reaching up to hang stuff up for the players, and walking more than he has in a week, so he lets himself retreat to his desk for a hot drink. 

It's still early, and nobody is really about yet. 

And he kind of just recovers from his efforts, and fades into a bit of a fugue. 

Which is why he spills half his mug at the knock on his door, jolting around to find Moody stood in the doorway. "Shit, sorry, didn't realise you were there. Hi." 

Moody raises an eyebrow. "How are you feeling?" Moody's gaze is fixed, firm, unwavering. 

Remus doesn't try to lie, much. "I'm stiff, and a bit tired maybe, and my fingers are still a bit sore for doing much massage, but otherwise I'm good to go. I'm pretty good." Remus smiles winsomely. "Promise."

Moody sort of stares at him, frowns, and walks away. 

Remus sags back into his seat. "Shit." 

Moody hadn't looked in any way fooled. 

It's late, and Remus needs sleep.

As if summoned by that very thought, a voice speaks, breaking the quiet of his office. "Go home, Lupin." Moody says, quietly, and Remus just sags in his chair, and nods. 

It's been a long day, and tomorrow boded to be even longer. 

"Yeah." His voice cracks a bit. "Thanks, Moody." 

"Look after yourself, kid." And he disappears from the doorway. 

Remus grabs his back and emerges to find Sirius waiting in the corridor, fiddling with his keys. He looks up, looking a little unsure. "Can I give you a lift home? James is running a bit late." 

Remus is too exhausted to do more than nod, yawn, and traipse after Sirius.  

"All good, Loops?" Finn asks, as he passes by, fist bumping him gently.

"All good, cheers." Remus responds, automatic by now, and Finn raises his fist in mock-celebration. He doesn't pause, and Remus laughs to himself when he hears Finn chirping Logan as soon as he steps into the locker room.  

Remus watches the chaos through the doorway, smiling absently. 

"Hi Remus, sorry to miss you. I'm going to pretend you're asleep, rather than probably catching up on your emails. I was just calling to check on how you're feeling. Are you sure you don't want to sleep here another few nights? It felt weird not coming to check on you last night, although James is saying I'm being a weirdo. I said he just didn't get our friendship. Call me, love you!"

"All good, Loops?" James asks, swinging through the door, and Remus stands from his seat. 

"Yeah, cheers Pots. How's your wrist feeling today?" 

"Good to have you back, Loops." Arthur claps Remus's shoulder gently. "Any news from the police?"

"They think it's a long shot, the last I heard." Remus smiles painfully. "I think probably I just need to work at moving on. No point waiting for a phone call I really don't think will come."

Arthur watches him, expression sad. "Whatever you need, kid. I was pleased to hear you were cleared for concussion." Remus raises an eyebrow, and Arthur smiles. "Pots knows better than to keep things from his Coach."

Remus shakes his head, smiling. "Would be a bit ungrateful of me to argue with that, Arthur."

"Loops, man, my fingers-" Logan hops off the ice in a rush of motion and energy, and Remus looks up, catching the gloved hand Logan offers. "I fucking caught them again, will you tape them like you did last time, please?"

Remus frowns, tugs the glove off, and examines Logan's proffered hand. "Sit down, Logan." Logan's face creases with impatience, but Arthur just moves away, calling instructions as Finn flies up the ice.

"You're off for a full five. Let me sort you out, Tremz." Logan hesitates as voices rise from the ice, but then he sinks into a seat and acquiesces without any more argument, which is a red flag in Remus's book. 

It's only a minute or two before Remus is happier with him. "We need to tape these up before practice and games for the next bit, Tremz, or this'll keep happening."

"Yeah, Loops-" Logan's already watching the ice, expression hungry. 

"Go on, then. That was only 3 minutes." Remus says, clapping his shoulder, and Logan's standing in a flash. 

"Cheers-" Logan adds, as he hops back onto the ice.  Remus is already looking away, tidying his gear back into his pack, when he realises Logan is still hovering in front of him.

Remus looks up, raises an eyebrow, and Logan quirks an odd smile. "Just thinking how good it is to have you back with us, Loops." And with a sharp push of his skates, he's gone. 

Chapter Text

Remus is almost drunk on the adrenaline, sweating and almost panting as the changing room gets even louder. Logan throws on some music, and everyone starts shouting and talking over his speaker. Their television is broken, and they're missing the post match replay, but Remus couldn't care less. He dries some sweat before it can drip into his eyes, and ducks in his stall to slip into shorts and a jersey. He needs a shower, desperately, but he doesn't think he'll get there any time soon. He's buzzing too much to leave Sirius's side, anyway. Sirius seems to be thinking the same thing.  

“You were so fucking brilliant, mon loup.” Sirius hovers above Remus at his stall, face lit with pride and excitement and maybe more than a little heat. He leans down and forward into Remus’s space, pressing a quick kiss against his neck, hard. Sirius hasn’t stopped saying it since they came off the ice. 

“Get yours, Loops!” Shouts Thomas loudly, cracking a towel in their direction, and the room erupts again. It isn't the first time he's said it, and Remus shakes his head, laughing at the heckles and chirps that come on cue.

Remus’s heart is still pounding, and Sirius's eyes flash with matching excitement above him. Adrenaline makes Remus's heart pound in his chest, and he can’t seem to wind down much.

Shit, he's scored three fucking goals. His first hat trick. He- Sirius leans in and kisses him again, abruptly. "Mon loup-" and then he's pulling back, stealing Remus's sweat towel to rub at his face.  

Remus glows, watching him. Sirius has barely stopped by his own stall, yet. He can't seem to take more than a few steps away, and Remus loves it. 

4-1, and Remus had somehow scored 3 of them. And his family were here, they’d seen it all. Remus glows. He can't stop grinning. His chest pulls when he leans forward, hooking his fingers into the top of Sirius's shorts, and Sirius glances at him again, pulling the towel from his face, grinning. Remus rubs absently at his chest, he'd been slammed hard more than once, but grins easily when Sirius's expression seems to catch. 

Remus draws him back in, soothing the worry away with a slow kiss, and the team howls and whistles once more. Remus smiles against Sirius, and he feels the beginnings of some delicious heat in his belly as Sirius chases his lips.

The door of their locker-room swings open, and Remus glances up from where he’s finally getting ready for his shower. The room hasn't cooled off much, but a few players have already disappeared towards their own rinse off. 

Arthur appears, hesitating oddly in the doorway, even as the team shout their welcome. Finn yells, claps his stall, and Logan copies him just as loudly. Arthur doesn't smile though, and Remus frowns slightly.

He suddenly sees that Sirius has gone a bit tense, too, across the room. 

Arthur waves off Finn, and with an oddly serious face, raises a hand in a familiar gesture for quiet. The room falls silent, and Arthur looks right at Remus, as it does. "Remus," and Remus's stomach lurches at his tone. "Can you join us out here for a moment please? Sirius can come too, of course." 

Arthur hasn’t called him Remus in a while. And Remus hasn’t heard Arthur call Sirius anything other than Cap for a long time. 

Remus feels himself to utterly still, as he spots who is stood just behind Arthur.

Heather has an odd look on her face, and she’s watching him just as closely.

The room drops into strange silence, most of the players looking startled by the odd combination of their coach and team therapist after the buzz of their game, and Logan scrambles for his phone to stop the music with several urgent taps. The beat drops away, and Remus can suddenly hear his heart pounding, rushing in his ears. The silence is loud. 

"Remus?" Arthur calls, again, and Remus startles into motion.  

"Yeah," and Remus can hear how unsure he sounds. "One sec." And he drops his towel back onto the bench, shooting a look at Sirius, who stands from his stall and moves to Remus's side immediately. 

Remus can feel his heart rate suddenly beginning to skyrocket, because there’s something intense on Arthur’s face. Bad news, something bad is about to happen, brace yourself – his head is screaming at him. 

“Want me to come?”  Sirius murmurs softly, as he leans close. His dark eyes shine with concern. He knows something is wrong, too.   

“Yeah, obviously.” Remus’s voice is low, quiet, but tight with nerves. Sirius catches it, of course, and his shoulders raise slightly. Sirius reaches out and squeezes their hands together firmly, before Remus straightens. He releases Sirius's hand through sheer force of will, and can hear Sirius padding close behind him towards the door. 

The entire team looks worried. Finn sends him a bracing smile, and Thomas claps his good shoulder very lightly, as he slips past. Pascal is near the door in a towel, evidently just coming back from the showers, and is watching Remus with furrowed brows. 

The door swings shut behind them, but the music and noise don’t start back up. Remus feels himself look nervously between Heather and Arthur, both of whom are watching Remus carefully, in the oddly empty corridor. Had Arthur cleared the corridor? Was it that bad? Bad news, brace yourself, there's something bad happening-

“We need to have a quick chat, Remus." Arthur watches him steadily, but there's something sad about his mouth. Remus swallows. 

"Alright." His voice doesn't waver, but it's close. 

Heather leans forward slightly. "Alice was thinking she might join us later." Alice? Remus exchanges a quick look with Sirius. Bad, his head is screaming, this is going to be really bad- "But first, we thought we could all go into PT, to chat.” Heather’s voice is calm, but there’s an odd tension in her normally calm face. “Lars has stepped out for us.”

Remus doesn’t move though, and Sirius stays firmly beside him. 

Inhale- “What’s going on?” He knows he sounds curt, but he can't help it. 

“We’ll explain everything in a second, but let’s just step into PT.” Arthur tries, actually taking a half step away down the corridor.  

But something in Remus's chest is splintering, and his head is still blaring an alarm that something awful is about to happen. His breathing accelerates, and he sees Heather’s eyes catch sharply on him before she shoots a meaningful look at Arthur.  

What the hell is going on? Sirius steps even closer, and Remus tenses abruptly, as something occurs to him. “My family?” The question is sharp with panic. If, if something has happened to his parents, if- 

“All three of them are completely fine.” Arthur stresses, immediately, hands motioning for calm. "They're all fine, Remus." Remus scans him, nods, relaxing a fraction. Sirius exhales beside him, so close at his back, and Remus feels his hand touch his waist, squeeze lightly.   

Heather moves, gesturing gently. “They’re just down the corridor in the family room, and we can get them anytime you want us to. We just thought we would all have a chat first, and then, if you still want them-" still? "We’ll get them for you.”  

Remus stares at her, because his brain is scrambling for an explanation, but he's coming up empty.

But with Heather watching him so expectantly, all Remus can do, is nod. It's wooden, and his hand curls out, finding Sirius's fingers waiting. He clamps their palms together, and Remus can't help but think that they're taking him to PT because it's a safe space, for Remus. What blow are they trying to soften? 

Bad news, bad news, bad news-

Arthur leads the way, and Heather smiles faintly at Remus as they pass her. She follows behind Sirius closely, and they all trundle into the large office. Remus inhales the familiar scent of tape, the leather bed, while Heather swings the door shut behind them gently.

“Have a seat if you like, Remus.” Arthur gestures at the desk, the familiar chair sat in front of it, but something in Remus’s head is blaring alarms. He reaches his limit. 

"No." He says, flatly. "I'm fine standing." He looks between them, and he can't help the panic that's beginning to rise in his chest. "What the hell is going on?" Inhale. "Is it the team?" He stares at Arthur, helplessly. "Am I, has the team-" Sirius shifts abruptly, taking half a step in front of him, as if to shield a blow. 

"Remus just scored a hat trick, for this team." And there's something low, warning, in his voice. 

"It's nothing like that, boys." Arthur is soft, gentle. Why? Bad news, bad news, bad news-

"Your place on this team, your team," Arthur inclines his head firmly. "Is absolutely safe.”

Remus slumps a little, relief thrumming through him, and Sirius relaxes a touch too. He's silent, shifting back to Remus's side, and they wait there together, hands tightly linked. 

Sirius might be breathing steadily, but Remus can feel the line of tension in him. And he can feel it in himself, too. Remus’s spare right hand creeps up, rubbing at his sternum, in a very old anxious habit that he can't quite stop. He feels Heather's gaze, and looks at her, almost guilty. It's an old tell. But Heather just smiles faintly at him, that same tinge of sadness around her face as it sits on Arthur. 

“Look," Arthur exhales all at once. This is it, this is it, this is- "I’ve brought Heather with me because I know you guys have got a good relationship, and I thought she might be able to help if I can’t. Alright? Look, Remus, I'm afraid I've had a phone call that we need to talk about.” Arthur pauses, hesitates. “We’ve had a phone call from the league.” Arthur's sad gaze looks familiar, and Remus places it, just before he realises with a swooping drop of his stomach which blow is coming, just before it lands. 

“Fenrir Greyback has just been arrested-”

Remus feels his heart stutter in his chest, at the same moment he feels Sirius tense all at once, like lightning has struck him. 

“-on assault charges.” Arthur pauses. “He’s been arrested for your assault Remus, from last year.”

Liar, liar, liar-

Remus swallows. 

“He’s,” Sirius whips round, stumbling over his words, staring at Remus aghast. “Your assault?" Sirius's horror is so clear. "He was the one who, who fucking-“

Remus trembles in the face of the shock and anger he can feel rising in Sirius.

Liar, liar, liar-

Remus has lied for so long. But now, today, too late, too late, too late- Remus finally reaches for honesty. He lifts his eyes to meet Sirius's wide-eyed gaze, and weakly nods. 

“Calisse,” Sirius hisses, and suddenly presses closer. "Fuck, mon loup-" it's almost a low groan, from Sirius. His forehead presses against Remus, free hand reaching up to his neck. "I'm so fucking sorry." He breathes, "Re, Re," Remus tilts against him, weakly. Liar, liar, liar- and then, they know, they know, they know- and the panic compresses his chest, tightening his spine, and Sirius must sense it, because he somehow presses even closer. “I’m so sorry.” 

“Sirius-“ he whispers, butt has nothing else.

Sirius is one of the few who might realise the extent of this disaster. And he proves that he understands all of it, by whispering, “I’m so sorry that it was him. Oh, Re.”

Liar, liar, liar-

Remus inhales, dizzily, and it's the first time in too long that he manages it. Sirius's arm brackets him, pinning Remus against his shoulder, and it's the only thing that keeps him upright.  

They know, they know, they know theyknowtheyknowtheyknowthey-

It takes too long. It takes too long, to find any sense of balance. Remus tries to pull back, and Sirius makes a soft, worried noise. But Remus persists, because he has to know. He has to know, he has to-

Remus looks up, knowing his eyes will be glassy because they're burning with heat. But Sirius holds him, and Remus finds the strength to meet Arthur's gaze. "How?" It's all he has the energy to ask, and his voice wavers.  

Arthur's face twists with worry, and his expression cracks with something like grief. "Remus." It's a gentle warning. Bad news, bad news, bad news- “I'm afraid a video has been leaked of the assault. One of the people watching took the video, but the police somehow never got ahold of it, before now." Arthur's lip ticks down, slightly, with tension. "They filmed the assault." Your assault, your assault, your assault- "And recently, they saw you playing. And put together who you both were." Arthur runs a hand through his hair, tiredly, and looks at Remus sadly. “I’m so sorry Remus, but the video is out and the news stations have gotten their teeth into it, as of about an hour ago. The police apparently saw what everyone was saying, and they’ve arrested him.” 

Inhale, inh-in- but Remus's next breath stops, and he can't do it. Sirius turns to him abruptly, hearing the catching stutters. "Breathe, mon loup." And he kisses Remus's cheek, staying right there, breathing steadily next to his ear. "Breathe, love, come on-" and Remus can hear the stress, in his voice.  

"Remus." Heather steps forward. “I’d like you to take some deep breaths with me. Just like we’ve practiced.” And she counts for him, and he tries, desperately hard. "In, one, two, three, four." Heather sounds utterly calm. "And hold, one, two, three, four." Sirius is breathing in time with her count, too. "And out, one, two, three, four, five, six." That's the hardest, and Remus wheezes a little, before they start again. It's so difficult. It's so- it's so- "And out," Heather seems to sense his rising panic, talking a little louder. "-three, four, five and six." Remus keeps missing her words, but he tries hard, because he can't fall into it yet. 

They stand there in the heavy quiet, broken only by Heather's counting, and Remus tries his best.  

Sirius is a warm line of comfort along his side, pressing against Remus steadily, their hands still joined and leaning into one another desperately. Sirius is matching Heather’s counting more easily than Remus. It’s habit, for him to listen. They both do, because she’s trained them to, for moments just like this.   

For all that the few minutes of counting help him feel a touch more present, Remus can already feel it isn't going to stave off the panic forever. He knows he needs answers first. “My family?” Remus manages, and Sirius suddenly swaps hands, his right hand coming up instead to rub at Remus’s back and tangling their left hands even more tightly together. 

“Unfortunately," bad news, more bad news, more bad news- "We wanted to wait for you to tell them, on your own terms, of course.” Arthur looks apologetic. “But the TV was on in the family room. The news cycle hit before I even got the phone call, so they’ve seen it.” Arthur lifts his hands helplessly, glancing uncertainly at Heather. It distantly strikes Remus as strange, seeing this usually unflappable man so unsettled.    

Remus sags against Sirius’s warmth, as he processes that. They know, they know, they know- 

Fuck.

"Breathe, Re-" Sirius, whispering, next to his ear. "Just keep breathing, mon loup."   

But Remus's family know, now. And they probably saw some of the assault.

Remus presses the back of his free hand over his eyes, and then shifts, reaching his fingers around his throat so he can be sure there's nothing else there. “I never told them.” Remus chokes, and he heaves another breath. “I never told them it was him, last year," the assault. "I didn’t want them to panic after everything else that already happened with him at university.” Remus realises, very distantly, that his face is wet. He stares up at Sirius, helplessly.

"I know, I know, love." Sirius hums, turning Remus to face him even more, and their foreheads press together again.

"They thought it was an accident, my shoulder." Remus whispers, and Sirius exhales roughly. "They didn't even know, about, about my shoulder-" because that wasn't even all of it, and Sirius makes a confused noise, but Remus can't, he can't really- “They thought it was an accident," Remus whispers. "And they were so angry anyway." Remus feels Sirius wipe away his tears, gently. "So I never told them, about,” and Sirius is nodding, even though he can't possibly know, and just keeps holding him tightly. 

"Mon loup," Sirius whispers. "Just breathe, love. Please, just breathe." 

“I left him behind, I did," Remus is growing frantic. "I tried so hard to leave him behind,” and he almost sobs, and he would be so embarrassed, but he's too far gone. 

Sirius just nods with him, stroking his back, his neck, somehow holding Remus upright. Because Sirius knows, more than a lot of other people. He knows that Greyback had wrecked Remus's shoulder, off the ice. “My family thought it was just the shoulder, that it was an accident. They blamed him anyway, and they didn’t even know-” and Remus can hear that he's repeating himself, but struggles to do anything else, say anything more, because Sirius doesn’t know the rest, either.  

Sirius doesn’t know that Greyback was after Remus almost as soon as they hit the team together, that a huge part of his anxiety disorder grew from his time on Greyback's team. That Greyback has injured Remus and bruised him so many times before, so often, that the habit of keeping everything quiet and hidden grew utterly ingrained. Such a habit in fact, that Remus had lied about his shoulder immediately. Liar, liar, liar-  and then again about his assault, so many years later.

Remus sags forward until his head rests against Sirius’s shoulder, weakly. “I thought it was over. I was so," He sucks in a breath. "I wanted it to be over so much, I couldn’t even tell the police, what the fuck.”    

"I know." Sirius almost croons it, swaying them a little together. "I know, love. I'm here, just breathe-" inhale, shaky, bad, that was bad, exhale- Sirius holds him tightly, not a single flicker of judgement on his face as he presses kisses against Remus’s cheeks. “Re, please slow down." He's so gentle. "It’s going to be okay," liar, liar, liar, he knows you're a liar, he's going to, he's goingto-he'sgoing- Remus can't breathe, at the unfinished thought. His eyes widen with panic, staring at Sirius, and Sirius captures him even closer. "I understand, mon loup, I’m so sorry this is happening.” He presses soft kisses over Remus's lips, cheeks and nose. "I'm here. It's okay." 

Remus nods desperately. He's here, he's still here, he's still-

“It should have been over, Remus." Arthur murmurs tiredly, from behind Sirius. "And I’m so sorry that it wasn’t.” 

Something clangs in Remus’s brain, a few moments late. Something that says, Arthur shouldn’t know that there was anything to be over. Remus doesn't think that thought made any sense, but fuck.

“Remus.” Arthur says softly, taking a half step forward. Remus’s eyes flick back up, cautiously, and Sirius gives barely an inch more of space to turn and watch Arthur too.

“The main reason I got a phone call from the NHL, is because of an allegation a team member has just made against Greyback." Arthur swallows, clears his throat. "This player saw the news, before it even got to us, and went to his coach immediately. An allegation has been made by this player,” and Arthur pulls in a bracing breath, “-that Greyback was being physically violent towards him, physically abusive, since they began playing together. And he's not the only one. A second player has now come forward within the last half an hour. A different team." Arthur swallows. "From Greyback’s team, at university."  

Remus’s heart thuds heavily, thud-thud, thud-thud, in his chest.  

Not the only one, not the only one, not the only-

Remus can't breathe. 

“The press have caught wind of it, and I don’t know exactly how, but,” Arthur seems to brace himself. "With the second player's testimony to this violent, abusive," abusive "-behaviour, from someone used to play with him at university as well," Remus flinches. "The news are reporting that the stories match."

Remus flinches again.

Arthur pauses for a moment, but after glancing at Heather, continues softly. "Things progressed from the start. They became more physical, and eventually it progressed to an actual physical assault which resulted in a very serious injury for the player on his university team.”

Heather takes a deep and loud breath, moving her shoulders, and Remus tries to copy it. Someone who used to play with Greyback at University that was assaulted but isn't Remus so that makes it- "Greg?" Remus asks, numbly, and Sirius flinches, expression becoming one of horror. 

Arthur just watches him sadly, and he clearly remembers meeting Greg. "I don't have any names, Remus." He replies, softly. 

Remus knows that it will be Greg, though. Greg was always far stronger than him. "He'll have seen who did it. That he hurt me, again." Remus says, dazedly. "G, I mean. He was so much braver than me." And he stares up at Sirius helplessly. "I'm so sorry." It's barely a whisper.  

Sirius gazes at him, expression broken. "Please don't be sorry, love." He whispers. "Please." His fingers are so gentle, as he strokes Remus's neck. "None of this is your fault." 

Remus looks up, at Arthur, because there's more coming. His head is screaming at him. His next breath catches. 

“Remus," Arthur looks so horribly understanding, but he doesn't hesitate, and Remus is distantly grateful. "Because of the video that’s just been released, and everything that’s coming out, the news are running that you may have been in the same situation when you played at Wisconsin.” He pauses, takes another deep and obvious breath which Remus tries to mimic again and fails again. “I’m sorry Remus, but there’s already talk that your injury at that time might have been him as well. And, that what happened to these other players, happened to you too.”  

Any vague self control that Remus may have had, just crumbles. He sags, falling into Sirius’s warmth, though one hand instinctively comes up to clasp at his throat between them, because he suddenly can’t get enough air.

They know, they know, they know-

"Mon loup-" Sirius sounds near panic, and then his hands are there, turning Remus, pressing him backwards, until his legs run into the PT bed and Remus feels himself sinks down, chest catching more and more painfully.

"I'm sorry-" he chokes, and Sirius's arms catch him. His head falls into Sirius's neck, and he can't breathe. 

“Mon loup,” Sirius murmurs, lips pressed into his hair again and again. “Breathe, Remus, Re, love, breathe,” but Remus can’t. He doesn’t know that he’ll ever manage it ever again. 

Remus can feel the panic winning. It was always going to. And it doesn’t even need to build at all, because it’s been there all along, just waiting. And now it’s here, overwhelming everything else and the pain in his chest is just staggering.

"Breathe, Re-" 

He can’t breathe.

Inh-al - e- 

He can’t breathe.

"Re, Re-" 

He can’t breathe.

So Remus does what he usually does, in this particular scenario. And it's so awful to think ‘what he usually does’, like this could ever be normal. But after years of struggling, Remus does what he usually does.

He gives in. 

Remus gives in, and sinks beneath the wave of panic as it crests.  

For a long time, there's nothing but white panic.  

Eventually, the white panic fades into cold darkness. 

After a long time, Remus begins to feel his body again. Some of his body, at least.  

His painful throat, his aching chest, comes first. 

A little longer, and Remus can feel his trembling hands pinned against something warm.  

Remus can feel something warm in front of him. Someone, maybe. 

And then a scent, a distant voice, barely even there. But something is beginning to feel more real, some tugging sensation in his chest says, follow this, follow this, follow him- 

And so, stubbornly, Remus tries. 

He keeps falling back into it. He thinks he might be dying, actually, properly dying. This time, this has to be it.   

But eventually, things change. He gradually moves through the white panic, the cold darkness, the painful throat, the aching chest. And then, his fingers, the thread of warmth, the familiar scent, the familiar- follow him, follow him, follow him- 

Eventually, heavy exhaustion catches him. Remus can at last feel something more than vague warmth, though, and he almost luxuriates in it. 

Maybe he passes out. His world is shaking, trembling, around him.

Something warm, maybe like the sun, somehow holds him together. 

So Remus doesn't quite shatter apart. Not this time. Next time, next time, next time- his thoughts chant at him, and Remus closes his eyes against the blank surroundings.  

Not this time, though, and he grabs a hold of the line of warmth around his chest, with both invisible hands, and follows it upwards. 

Eventually, things slow. Ease. End.

Everything does, someone says, and they sound calm. Everything passes, Re, and it's his Mum, sat beside his hospital bed, holding his only good hand. Things will get better, love.  

How do you know? He had been so terrified, utterly ruined, lying there weakly. 

They always do. 

And he'd clung to them, those words, traced them on his heart. Things get better, they always do. Things get better, they always do. Things get better, they always do- 

"I'm here, mon loup." 

His hearing comes back online next. He isn't back, and it's only distant. But Remus can listen. Guess you were right again, Mum. 

“You’re doing so well, mon loup. You’re doing well, we just need to get your breathing slowed down a bit. Listen to mine, alright? Heather is going to count for us.” 

“Heather, fuck-”

“Stay nice and calm for me Sirius, you need to be as calm as you can for him." Something moves, beneath him. "Can you keep talking for me, and keep breathing just like that, nice and exaggerated so he can feel it. You’re doing really well Sirius. And we know he likes to be held during this because we’ve talked about that in the past, so keep him right there and keep talking.” 

“I’m not fucking helping, he isn’t -“

“You are, absolutely you are. Let’s talk about the game. Talk about when he scored, let’s do that. I loved his first goal, what did you think?" 

“You were beautiful tonight love, your game, fuck I’ve never seen you play like that. You’re so quick. I love the way you skate. And you got a hat trick and I am so fucking proud of you. I love you, Re.” 

“I’m going to start counting again, because I think he’s starting to settle down a bit. What are you guys having for tea tonight?”

“I want to get Thai, and I’ll probably convince you by the time we get home love. And your family will be there of course, and Jules will be crowing about your goals,” a pause, something changes. “Yeah love," such relief, there. "Jules will be there, and you’ll sit on the couch together, and I’ll be there and we’ll be all together with your parents, and Jules will be so proud of you.”

“Heather, he’s coming back, I think.”

“Yes, I think he’s coming back to us. Keep going, Sirius.”

“And, mon amour, your mum will probably make us some tea. And I was thinking we’d watch that movie you were telling me about, before Jules goes to bed. Yeah love, well done, I felt you move your fingers, that’s so good, you’re doing really well.”

“He definitely shifted, Heather.” 

“That’s great, Sirius, you’re really helping him. And Remus, you’re doing so well. It’s only been about ten minutes, and that’s fine. That’s okay. It’s just me and Sirius in here, and the door is locked. We’re all going to just take some breaths. So you’re going to feel the air going in, and when it’s in there, let’s start to notice how our chests are expanding-.” 

Remus settles back into his body like an ill fitting but well-worn jumper. It should be familiar and comfortable, but instead it feels itchy and too long and more threadbare than he remembers. His arms feel too long. His legs are hanging over the edge of the PT bed. His neck is tight and sore.

But, his chest hasn’t caved in. His throat is open. He can breathe.

He can breathe.

He can breathe.

He can breathe.

He’s so fucking exhausted, he can’t even enjoy how easy it is.

Remus slowly comes to recognise that it's Sirius stood right between his legs, keeping him vertical, keeping him warm. His strong arms are wrapped around Remus tightly, and his head is cradled gently in the curve of Sirius's neck. 

“That’s so much better, Re. Are you coming back? I’d wait forever for you, you know, but I miss you." A soft kiss, against his cheek. "Heather said you were almost here, and she's usually right, you know.” The teasing is gentle. 

“He is, Sirius. Look at how well he’s doing, he’s matching his breathing to yours. He’s almost here.”

Sirius breaths, steadily, deeply. And Remus finds himself matching it, now that he has more control. He feels Sirius’s breath huff gently against his ear, against his hair, every few seconds. 

His heart is settled back somewhere within in his ribcage. His lungs are finally doing what they need to. His chest loosens a fraction more, as he feels Sirius’s hand slowly stroke up his spine. 

He slumps forward as much as he can, curling into Sirius’s warmth weakly. His hands are shaking, but he manages to raise them up clumsily to wrap around Sirius’s waist.

“Re, oh, I missed you so much.” Sirius sounds like he might cry, and then he's kissing that same spot on Remus's cheek. The easiest spot to reach, with Remus tilted against him like this. 

“You’re doing really well, Remus. Let’s slow our breathing just a bit more.” 

And Heather begins to count gently in the background. 

Remus can feel the warm metal chain that sits around Sirius’s neck, pressing against his forehead. And while he can’t quite speak yet, but he wants to let Sirius know that he’s back, that he's listening. With effort, Remus retracts his right hand, and runs it up Sirius’s chest until he finds the necklace. 

Sirius relaxes, around him. “I know, love. I love you. I missed you, welcome back.”

And they breathe there together, for a long time.

Remus takes a while to come back all the way. And he hates this part, when he’s almost there but knows he can be thrown right back into it if he rushes or something else happens. He's learned in the past, not to be impatient, with this part. 

Heather repeats that it’s just her and Sirius, that the door was locked, that he needed to take his time.  

So he does. He takes his time, like he’s come to realise he needs to over the years. He used to rush, pretend to be fine, and he’d end up back in the midst of panic-attack-part two almost every time.    

Heather leaves them eventually, and he hears the door gently click behind her. She was leaving Sirius and him alone, so she must be confident he’s almost there. Her confidence gives him something to hang onto.   

He finally, finally, feels able to slip back slightly from Sirius without falling apart.

Remus takes a deep breath, and looks up, and Sirius’s soft grey eyes are there to meet his. 

“Hi,” Remus whispers, hands coming up to hang around Sirius’s shoulders gently. 

“Hi, love.” Sirius echoes softly, and the subdued smile he’s wearing spreads into something more real. Sirius's growing relief settles more confidently around him, and his small smile is proud and so fucking gentle.

Remus curls back in, pressing into Sirius’s throat and pulling him forward, tucking his legs around his waist. Sirius comes willingly, easily, as if he’d rather be nowhere else.

There’s nothing Remus wants more right now, than for Sirius to never move again. 

He opens his mouth, and Sirius laughs huskily in his ear. “Don’t apologise mon loup, non, I won’t hear it.” He presses a kiss along Remus’s earlobe.

And Remus manages a wet chuckle into Sirius’s warm neck, it’s rough and awful, but real. 

Remus and Sirius stay there. And eventually, Remus tries to find his words.

“It was like that, for me." He croaks, weakly. "What they said, it’s the truth.” He blinks slowly, exhausted, staring at Sirius's smooth skin on his neck. “Fuck, I can’t believe he did it to other people too.” He feels the tears begin to slide down his cheeks, before Sirius is pulling away just slightly, to smooth them gently away. 

“He’s a bastard.” And Sirius’s gentle voice has gone hard, unforgiving. “And he deserves to be in jail.” Sirius softens again though, as he strokes Remus’s hair. “Re, love, I’m so sorry this is happening. You didn’t deserve to get this splashed everywhere.” 

Remus presses his head against his partner’s chest, and shakes it once. “I was such a coward." Sirius makes a noise, like he disagrees, but doesn't interrupt. "I didn’t even tell the police, I didn’t even know if I would be brave enough to press charges if they caught him." Remus swallows. "And I couldn’t tell my parents. They knew he was involved with my shoulder, but not, not that it was on purpose." 

"I know, love." A gentle croon, from above him.

"Sirius, it's been years-" Remus's voice cracks. "And he's somehow still fucking me over." More tears spill, but he keeps breathing. 

“There isn’t a timeline on trauma, love. We both know that.” Sirius leans down, pressing gentle kisses over Remus’s cheeks and eyes and nose. It somehow makes Remus huff a laugh, and Sirius rocks back with a small smile. “There you are, mon loup." He whispers, and Remus smiles faintly up at him. 

“Hi.”

“Hi.” Sirius gently tilts his chin up, and leans in. 

And they kiss, gently, slowly, like nothing else in the world could ever matter again.

Eventually, there's a soft knock on the door. Quiet enough that they could ignore it, if they wanted. And Sirius would. Remus knows he would ignore the whole world for him, if Remus were to ask. But he sighs, and looks up, wiping his face once more. Sirius doesn't move an inch away. 

“Come in,” Remus croaks.

Heather appears, head poking round the door. “Hi, Remus. Can I come in?”

He nods. She steps in and closes the door, turning to smile at him. “There you are. How are you doing?”

Remus’s emotional state is still wobbly, his chest is sore and he’s never been so properly exhausted. “Better, thanks." He swallows. "I’m sorry for the freak-out.”

“There isn’t any need to apologise. You had a perfectly valid reaction to a seriously traumatic event, which was exacerbated by all of this hitting the public sphere.”

When Remus’s head ducks a bit, perfectly valid reaction- Sirius just crowds in with a small huff, that tells him exactly what Sirius thinks of Remus’s embarrassment.

“If now is an okay time," Heather sounds careful. "I wanted to have a chat about what you wanted to do next.”

Remus nods, eyes dropping back to Sirius’s chest. “Do we need to release, like, a statement?”  

“Not that sort of next, Remus.” And she smiles fondly at him when he looks at her in confusion. “I mean, tonight. The next five or ten minutes, the next hour, and then tonight. You tell me what you need, and I’m going to make it happen for you, okay?”

Remus pauses, startled. What did he need? He starts with the simple things. “My family?”

“They’re doing okay." Heather nods, calmly. "I know it was a shock for them. And the clip that was played was upsetting, but they’re doing okay, they’re just worried for you.”

Remus can imagine.

“Jules?”

“He’s upset because your Mum and Dad are upset. He didn’t get to see much of the clip, definitely less than your parents. Celeste took him out pretty quickly, while your parents had some time.”

Remus nods, swallows.

“They’re getting a lot of support from the others in the family room, and I’ve spoken to them too.” She hesitates minutely. “Remus, I'm afraid the team has also been told about what’s on the news. I’m sorry we didn’t ask you before doing so-“

“It’s fine." Remus rasps, even though it's kind of not. He lowers his head. Maybe it is. Maybe it's fine. "It’s out there now.” Remus runs a shaky hand through his hair. “Fuck, well, it is.” The words firm up a bit. “It’s out there.” Repeating it makes it real. “They would’ve seen it on twitter as soon as they opened their phones.”

Heather nods, looking a bit annoyed as she does.

It's out there, they know, they- Sirius takes a pointedly deeper breath, which Remus copies, automatically.

“That’s great, both of you, keep doing exactly that.”  

They do.  

“I was thinking that first, we need to look at getting you both hydrated, because you both just played a huge game of hockey.” She offers the blue poweraid bottles in her hand gently, and Sirius extends a hand to take them both before passing Remus one.  

Remus finds his fingers are trembling, and he struggles with the lid. He’s embarrassed, but Sirius steals the bottle back without a word and opens it, pressing a kiss to his palm before giving it back.   

Remus takes a sip. The familiar icy taste is enough to get him a bit more present, and his chest seems to expand more easily on his next breath. "Done." Remus says, attempting a weak joke, and Sirius snorts softly. 

"Easy." Sirius murmurs, and Remus's lip curls up a little.

"And," Heather continues after a moment more, "I can imagine you might be pretty sore after that game. So, a proper cool down, maybe. Lars is happy to support you, if you need it. You can stretch out in here, if you like." Remus's brow crinkles, and Heather smiles at him gently. "But I know how important your routine is to you both. So if you want to join the team in the gym, you can. The choice is yours. Okay?”

Remus nods. Following his routine, which he could do in his sleep, sounds comforting right now.

“So, hydration and a proper cool down.” Remus realises she’s repeating herself for his benefit, and he’s relieved despite it making Heather sound a bit silly. “And food after, obviously. And your family want to see you, if that’s what you need. But if not, they’ve had several offers of places to stay already. And Remus,” Heather pauses until Remus meets her eyes. “They’ve explicitly said they want to do whatever you need. If you need space, to talk to them tomorrow and not tonight, they’ve both said that that's what they’ll give you. Okay?”

“Okay.” Remus relaxes a bit. He nods again, feeling something solidify in his chest at the motion. He was okay. He was going to be okay.

“And then, sleep. You’re going to be exhausted. Your body has gone through a lot tonight even before the shock of this, alright?”  

Remus nods again, he can feel it.

“Tomorrow, I thought we could make a plan. You, me, Sirius and Arthur. Alice has offered to be there too, if you think you could manage that, to get her take on things.”

And Remus swallows, but nods a last time.

“The point of that meeting," Heather looks at him firmly. "Will be to figure out what support you need over the next little while, and moving forward. Okay? It isn’t going to be us asking a bunch of invasive questions, it’s going to be figuring out what you need. That’s it.”

“Okay, yeah.” Something else unclenches. "Thank you." 

“And if you wanted your parents there,” but Remus cuts her off with a quick shake of his head. “Okay, that’s absolutely fine, Remus.” She smiles gently, and he believes her. “Beyond that, we’ll need to discuss the police investigation and what statement the NHL is going to put out. There’s a lot of anger that this has happened Remus.”

Remus flinches back a bit, shoulders curling up. Sirius shifts in front of him, defensively, even though it's just Heather. 

“Anger for you, Remus." Heather says, urgently. "Anger for you,” she repeats, firmly. Remus sags a bit, and Sirius relaxes too. “Your fans and the hockey world are absolutely  horrified that this happened. Okay? Everyone seems to be on your side, which is right where they should be, in my opinion. Okay?”

Remus dips his chin, but presses his face briefly back into Sirius’s neck which has become his safe spot. Sirius kisses his ear, which makes him chuckle a bit wetly.  

“Do you understand everything I’ve said?”

“Yeah, yes.” His voice is low. 

“Okay. Do you have any questions? Anything else you need?”

“No. Power aid, shower, cooldown, family, home, sleep, meeting tomorrow, meeting with or about the police after.” Even saying it is exhausting, but he knows by the time he gets there he’ll have had a bit of time to process, to settle back into his body.

“Yes exactly Remus.” She pauses, expression strangely intent when she asks again, “Is there anything else I can do for you? Anything else you need?”    

“Um,” and he hesitates, eyes flickering to Sirius who just meets them steadily. They’ve talked about it, briefly, once before. He tries not to hesitate, but still stumbles over the words. “I don’t want to have another panic attack, not tonight.” The exhaustion is too much. “I’m too tired. I can’t do it,” and Remus can hear that his voice sounds tight, but his head is buzzing even at the thought. “My medication, is that an option?”

She nods, no trace of judgement. A small smile actually springs up on her face, as she nods. “Of course it is, Remus. I’ve actually already got it here, and as per your wishes I was waiting for you to ask for it, rather than for me to offer it.”

“Okay, yeah. I’d like them then.” It’s something he’s forced himself into – that he has to ask for it. He became reliant on it for a time, and had hated it for a while. Now, it’s a useful tool. But he has to ask for it, because then he knows he really wants it. He isn’t sure it makes sense out of his head, but it seems to work.

Heather hadn’t exactly liked it when he’d laid it out for her, but had eventually agreed to the plan they’d put in place.

She smiles at him. “I’m really proud of you for asking for help, Remus. Here.” And she hands over a rattling pottle, and he slips two out before handing it back and she tucks it away immediately. Sirius strokes his back gently.

He swallows them with a quick sip of his drink, and keeps taking small sips for a while afterwards. And then Heather is offering them each a banana, and Sirius bites into his only when Remus does the same.  

“Shall we give those maybe ten minutes to kick in? You can keep doing your four-count breaths in the meantime. And then maybe you can go, have another shower? And start your cool down after?” She offers, repeating herself again.

The repetition is comforting, because everything is a bit slip and slide in his head now. Like water over ice, untrustworthy and an absolute trip hazard.  

“Yeah, yeah. I’m cold, a shower sounds good.”

Sirius huffs, and presses in tighter, wrapping his arms around him like an octopus and tucking Remus’s legs up a little higher over his hips. Remus manages a croaky laugh, and Sirius mutters, “Je suis ta chaleur.”

Remus smiles but shakes his head against his neck, hearing Sirius make an offended noise.

“Tu es mon soleil.” Remus corrects, and Sirius relaxes, humming with pleasure as Remus sits back slightly to press a kiss against his lips. Heather slips out of the room with a chuckle, and they stay there, together.

His heart rate settles, and the panic is further away, now. The tablets have worked, settling the debilitating physical side effects of his anxiety.

For him, they make it so much easier. But, they also make him tired, and he was already knackered. They push down his emotions, which is what he needs, but he doesn’t always like it. Doesn’t like that everything is a bit dull, a bit far away.

Tonight though, that’s a relief.

Heather comes back in quietly, and speaks to Sirius when Remus doesn’t respond to her soft question of how he’s feeling. He’s feeling distant. He’s feeling like if Sirius moves even an inch away, he’ll be left adrift.

“He might be a bit dizzy, Sirius. And he may be a bit quiet. That’s normal. He shouldn’t push it on the cool down. Grab a shower, maybe a short hit on the bike before stretching. Okay?”

“Ouais, I understand.” And a pause, then a kiss on his forehead. “Ready, Re?”

Remus nods, and while he can feel the way his expression is a bit blank, he doesn't have the energy to do much about it. All he can do is follow Sirius, like always.

The locker-room is empty when they pass through to the showers, though there's music from the workout room through the other doorway.

Sirius helps Remus out of his clothes, when he finds his fingers too clumsy for much, before they duck hand in hand towards the showers.

Remus is already stiff and aching, and he rubs at his bad shoulder, scars running beneath his hand, as Sirius reaches around him to switch the water on. 

They stand under the hot stream of water together. Just this side of too hot, and Sirius somehow always knows exactly what he needs.

Remus is bracketed against the wall by Sirius’s arms and body. And he feels safe, occasionally pressing a lazy kiss against Sirius's neck, where he's still hiding. 

Sirius leans down to kiss him gently on his cheek, his neck, his shoulder. Sirius folds in around him until he’s all that Remus knows.  

His medication has definitely kicked in. He feels vague, softer and distant. They stand there for a long time.

“Warm enough?” Sirius leans beside his ear, and Remus tilts their faces together, humming agreement. 

Sirius pulls back to smile down at him, gently. "Okay, Re." Sirius turns the water off and moves to snag them towels. He helps dry Remus, who leans into his hold more heavily. They slip on shorts and Remus collects his Lions sweatshirt, sinking into its comfort.

“Bien?” Sirius catches his arm, when he sways a little. 

“Yeah, yeah. Just, knackered.”

“Presque fini, mon loup.”

Sirius stops at his bag, fetches out his earbuds. He presses on gently into an Remus’s ear, and takes the other for himself. The soft music that starts is there usual cool-down playlist, and it's so comforting, in it's familiarity. Sirius gently pulls Remus towards him. “Presque fini, mon loup.” And Sirius presses a final kiss on his lips, before they move towards the gym.

Logan lowers himself into a stretch, pulling at his quad painfully, as the door swings open. Sirius leads Remus in, hands tangled together, and Logan starts a little. They each have a headphone in, walking right beside one another, and Remus's head is tilting towards Sirius, as he talks softly. Neither of them look at the rest of the team. 

Logan catches himself staring almost immediately and turns his head back to the floor quickly. Finn is beside him, stretching out a little stiffly as well. Leo's also on his mat, not far away from either of them, following their normal routine, nowadays.

Logan glances at Remus again without turning his head, spotting Sirius hover as Remus climbs up onto a bike, before moving to claim the one next to him. Sirius keeps talking softly, until they both begin to bike, and the room hums with soft voices as everyone keeps going with their cool downs. Logan marvels at how beautifully the team is playing at normality, although he can see several gazes flick up and over towards the bikes, most of them are subtle about it. 

Arthur hadn't taken long to come back, after disappearing with an anxious Remus and tense Sirius, to give them an explanation. 

"Fenrir Greyback has just been arrested on assault charges." Arthur's jaw had been so tight. "He assaulted Remus, last year." And Logan had frozen. "We need to give him whatever support he needs. It’s already hit the news," Arthur looks at the blank TV screen, and there's almost gratitude there. "And the tape of the assault has been leaked. Additionally-" and Arthur had clenched his hands into fists tightly, then. "More is starting to come to light about Greyback. Accusations are being made against him, about him getting violent with several teammates over the years. There has been some suggestion of that happening at Wisconsin."

With Loops, he hadn’t needed to say.                         

"It’s a shock, and it’s awful that this has happened with the press. Be there for him." Their coach had been extremely serious, and the entire team had looked hugely unsettled, trading horrified and anxious looks.

James had looked sick, sinking back into his stall with his head in his hands. Finn had sworn viciously at the TV that had broken so inconveniently, Leo crowding him against his stall to talk him down. Logan had mainly stayed collapsed in his stall, stunned. 

It had taken a while, for any of them to get moving.

Most of them had gone on their phones pretty quickly and some of them, mostly Logan, had started to swear under their breath immediately. It hadn’t been a good moment. It had been a fucking awful moment.

Arthur hadn’t told them much about the rumours, but it was easy enough to find out that a few other young players from teams Greyback had been on, were now coming forward. After hearing he’d been arrested, they'd begun to report their own physical assaults. Logan had felt sick then, trying to imagine coming to the ice and meeting that instead of the culmination of his lifelong dream and the support he had.  

None of them had watched the video, aside from the ten seconds they heard with Dumo swearing, the video playing automatically when he’d opened a web page. "Don’t Fen, just fucking leave them!" Remus's tinny voice had barked with authority, and then Dumo had paused the video. Leo had sent a sick look towards Logan, who had only been able to shake his own head in disbelief and anger.

Thomas’s face had grown thunderously dark as he’d stared at Dumo’s phone, and he’d been very still for several moments, before stalking to the gym. Foxy and Timmers had exchanged a single look, and followed him immediately. 

Logan presumes he’d been heading for the boxing bag, because Talkie’s hands had still been taped up when Logan had come through for his own cool-down. 

Fuck. Remus had been so fucked up, when he’d met them at the bus. And he’d somehow known who’d done it the whole time. Logan doesn’t quite get why Loops hadn’t reported it at the time, and he lingers on that disturbing thought for a while.

Every reason he comes up with isn’t good, and he keeps glancing at Remus's back to make sure he's really there, because he feels sick again. Everything seems to point back to the article he’d found almost immediately, which had been titled Hidden bullying and abuse in the NHL? Players starting to speak out after assault comes to light!

Abuse, abuse, abuse, abuse, abuse.

The word blares in Logan's thoughts on repeat, and he can’t stop it.

Logan blinks, spotting the concerned look on Leo's face, who seems to be glancing at the pair frequently as well. Leo just grimaces when he catches Logan's eyes, and half-shrugs, seeming to indicate with a quick tilt of his head that Sirius had things under control. 

Logan's brain doesn't settle though, even as Leo goes back to stretching.

Remus’s face had been weirdly vacant, his eyes a bit unfocused, when he’d followed Sirius into the room. His eyes had been a bit red, but not as bad as Logan had maybe expected. Mainly, Logan just really, really, really, really didn’t like the blank look on Remus’s face. He also didn’t like the rather predatory presence of Sirius, pacing along at his side.

Fuck, Logan chews at his lip. Well, fucking fair enough. Logan can't imagine what he'd be doing, if one of his boys had had anything similar happen at all. 

Logan's thoughts circle about and focus again on Remus’s vacant expression. He wracks his mind for a moment. When had he seen something similar?

Shit, Logan remembers with a wince. Somewhere in middle school, when his friend had had a panic attack because of a maths test they’d both failed, and Logan had felt pretty useless all round. Katie had been a good mate, pretty talented on the ice, too. Logan wonders if she'd kept up with skating? His thoughts drift back to maths, and something in him luxuriates in relief that he'll never have to do another test. Well, actually that wasn’t true at all. Between all the fitness tests they ran-  

A hand on his shoulder, and Logan jerks in surprise. Pascal is leaning over him, face concerned. “Long stretch, eh?" He nudges Logan gently. "Ease up a bit, mon fils.”

Logan, rather abruptly, feels the painful stretch. "Ah-" he hisses, and twists out of his stretch. "Fuck." Logan suddenly spots Finn watching, hand half-outstretched, but evidently Pascal has beaten him to it. Logan winces a bit at the concern flaring in Finn’s eyes. 

"Merci, Dumo." Logan murmurs, and Pascal palms his cheek for a moment. 

"C'est bon, mon fils." Pascal brushes his thumb along Logan's cheek, before ducking down to kiss his forehead. It's more than he might normally do, and Logan leans into him for a moment. Maybe they both need it. Pascal pulls away, scanning him carefully, and Logan nods. 

"Je vais bien." He promises, and Pascal nods, moving back to his own cool down mat. He doesn't go far, Logan notices, and his comforted. 

Logan glances back at the bikes, and Remus is only going slowly. His eyes catch on Pascal, leaning into a stretch, and fuck, he can’t imagine how awful it would be to be on a team where someone was bullying him. Abusing him. Logan is so used to being taken care of here, and he has been from day one. Logan aches for Remus, then.

Logan can feel his thoughts spiralling, and chooses an easier stretch, just in case he loses track once more.   

The team is slow, packing their gear up. Sirius is having is shoulder taped, something niggling a bit. He’d refused to go through to PT and leave Remus, so Lars was taping him up while he sat beside Remus on the bench. He’d pushed Remus into James’s stall beside him with a single look, and James hadn’t even blinked.

Remus has all his things gathered, he hopes, and was just sitting and waiting for Sirius now. Remus can’t bring himself to go to his parents without Sirius there. Something very deep in Remus's chest is telling him to stay as close as he can to Sirius. He listens, and it’s easier.

James had leaned in for a brief hug when he’d passed, but he hadn’t said anything about the stall or anything else. He’d simply grabbed his bag and moved to settle into Remus’s stall. Thomas had pressed in for a brief hug too, but had stayed quiet. The others had sent him nods or small smiles, but everyone just went about their business.

Remus felt utterly safe in this room, surrounded by his team.  

Just then, the door suddenly swings open and the team practically jolts. Kasey is suddenly looming, huge frame blocking the doorway easily, half-squaring up before the door even swings all the way open.

A moment later and Kasey pauses, his shoulders relaxing. He tosses a careful glance back, towards Remus. Remus realises whoever it is is there for him, but he can’t see who it is around Kasey’s height.

Lars steps away from Sirius’s shoulder with a last nod, collecting up his things and moving out the door with a final nod towards Remus. He moves around Kasey carefully, and then ducks out. 

“Re?” Calls an uncertain voice, and Remus blinks. It's Julian.

“Jules?” And Remus's voice is quieter than normal, because he can’t quite find the energy to project his words any more strongly than that.  

Kasey shifts out the way, patting Jules gently on his shoulder with a small nod and letting him pass. Unusually, Julian ignores one of his heroes, completely. Julian slides the door firmly shut behind him with a guilty look, and Remus huffs a soft breath, sharing a vaguely amused look with Sirius.    

The team settles a bit, but Remus thinks it’s telling that despite it only being a nine-year old invading their space, the team hasn’t quite settled down completely. Remus sees Thomas release a huge breath, and slump back into his stall, continuing to roughly pack his gear up. When had he stood up? 

“Re,” and Remus is distracted again, watching Julian approach with a worried look on his face. “Mum said you were upset.” Jules stops by Sirius’s stall, eyes wide and disconcerted as he scans Remus.    

Sirius shoots a concerned look at Remus when he’s silent, but Remus is struggling desperately to figure out what to say in response. After a moment, Sirius stands. Remus just blinks at him for help, and Sirius intervenes easily.

“Hey, petit frére. We’re almost done, and we’ll be out soon." His voice is only ever this shade of gentle with Regulus, Julian or Harry. "We’ll come meet you and your parents soon, ouais? Can you wait with them?”  

Jules is immediately distracted, but his expression twists in abrupt displeasure. “You can’t call me little brother!”

Sirius flinches, slightly, and Remus straightens in shock. "Jules!" He finds the strength to bark, because he can see the hurt curling Sirius's shoulders up, even if he can't see his face from here. 

Julian startles at Remus's firm tone, but peers up at Sirius again, as he slips into French. “Désolé, Julian." Sirius runs a rough hand through his hair. "Of course, I shouldn’t have-“

“No, no!” Julian interrupts, and Remus huffs a frustrated breath. His nine year old brother really wasn't helping, christ. “You can’t call me that,” and Sirius just nods, turns away abruptly and fiddling with something above his stall. He sends a twisted and upset look towards Remus, who gazes helplessly back. Julian continues in a rush, “-not until the twenty-second of February you can’t! It’s bad luck before then, Reg said!”    

Their wedding has just been booked for the twenty second of February.

There’s a moment of silence, and Julian flicks anxiously between Sirius and Remus.

After a moment, Sirius heaves a great deep sigh and closes his eyes briefly. And then he turns, abruptly catching Julian up in a hug, lifting him easily. Jules laughs, and goes willingly, relaxing as he wraps his arms and legs around Sirius tightly. Julian was starting to get to the age where he didn’t always want a hug like this, but he consistently loved hugs from Sirius. 

“Jeez, Jules. You scared me.” Sirius’s voice is quiet. “Thought you didn’t want me for a brother.” He’s trying for a joke, but there’s true relief in his voice which Julian obviously recognises, because he yanks back and stares incredulously.

"What?!" Julian gapes, and then starts patting urgently at Sirius’s face, his arm, his shoulder, his cheek again. “No, no, what? Of course not! What? I can’t wait for you to be my brother! And we get Regulus too? Right? We do right? Of course I can’t wait!” And he looks urgently at Remus too, as if for help in convincing Sirius.

Remus cracks a smile, and he can hear how croaky Sirius’s laugh is as he chuckles. “Yeah, okay Jules. I can’t wait for another little brother too.”  

“Cool,” and Jules laughs, delighted now and smiling sweetly, and Sirius smiles back helplessly.

Julian’s looks at Remus as if to include him, but Remus is exhausted, and he can't find the energy to stand. He can only watch as his little brother’s smile fades immediately off his face. Something stubborn seems to settle over Julian’s uncertain expression, and he struggles free of Sirius, who sets him back on the ground.

James suddenly appears, dropping an arm around Sirius's shoulders. "Your face," he murmurs, and nudges him with a small grin.

Sirius elbows him back, but leans in against James a moment later. “C’est mon nouveau frére, va te faire foutre!” They stay there, James supporting Sirius warmly, and Remus is relieved. He turns back to his little brother, and quirks a small smile. 

Jules hovers just out of Remus’s reach, shifting uneasily back and forth. He doesn't seem to have heard the exchange happening behind him.

Julian peers a little more closely at him, and then suddenly blurts, “You played really well, Re! So you shouldn’t be upset.”

Remus sighs, but manages a faint smile. “Cheers, Jules.”

But his little brother isn’t done. “And, I um, I saw the news before mum broke the TV,” Remus’s eyebrows shoot up. “And, um, I think it's a good thing that man is in prison, because he hurt you, so don’t be upset!” Julian rushes, and then he pauses, anxiously chewing at his lower lip.

Remus realises distantly that most of the team have given up any semblance of pretending they aren’t listening, half of them simply having sat down on their benches and observing Julian and Remus talk. Julian doesn’t notice to notice their silent audience, eyes intent on Remus.   

Remus shakes his head, and huffs a soft breath. He holds out his arms instead of saying a word, and Julian leaps at him immediately. Remus is sitting so it’s a bit more awkward than if he were standing and could scoop his little brother up like normal, but Julian doesn’t seem to care and simply wraps his arms and legs just like he did with Sirius. Remus tucks Julian's head under his chin, and relaxes.

He looks up and catches Sirius’s soft grey eyes watching. And then he leans his cheek against Julian's soft hair, and sighs. “I’ll be alright, Jules." He murmurs. "I just," and Remus hesitates, because he doesn't want to lie. “I think I was upset before, because I was really surprised. I didn’t think that anyone would ever know." They know, they- "I didn't want anyone to know.” His voice is low, but it'll be audible. The team is listening. 

“Oh. But why?” Julian sounds sadly confused, and Remus squeezes him gently.  

Remus closes his eyes, rests his cheek gently on Julian’s head. “I think I was embarrassed. I felt like I should have been stronger, and not let any of it happen, maybe.” Julian hums uncertainly, in his arms. “And maybe I was a bit frightened too," he confides, softly. "Of what would happen if he found out I’d told anyone.”  

Julian sits back abruptly, disbelief warring with shock on his face. “You were afraid?”

“Yeah, Jules." Remus tilts his head tiredly, admits, "I guess I was.”

Julian watches him anxiously, looking a bit stunned that his older brother could be afraid of anything.

“It’s a good thing though,” Julian insists, after a moment, hands hovering over Remus’s chest and tugging at his jumper anxiously. Its more childish behaviour than Remus has seen in at least a few years. It speaks to Julian's distress, and Remus squeezes his waist gently. “Cause he can’t hurt you anymore now that people know, right? The lady on the TV said he’s going to jail.”

Remus’s arms tighten, drawing Julian in a bit closer. His chest is maybe getting ready to catch again, but his little brother sinks in and grips him tightly enough that his rib cage doesn't fracture apart. “Yeah," his voice cracks. "Maybe you’re right, Jules.”

“And, um,” Julian hesitates a bit more, head twisting sideways so his ear presses against Remus’s chest. “On the TV they said he was maybe the guy that stopped you skating before, right?” And Remus’s breath does catch a bit at that, and he sees Sirius shift at their left, but Julian keeps going. “So, now he’s in jail, he can’t stop you from playing ever again, right?”

Remus tries to keep breathing deeply. He gives himself a few seconds, but then he forces himself to look up. He blinks back a few tears, and catches Thomas’s gaze, over Julian’s head. Thomas expression is utterly crestfallen, and Remus swallows at the grief and kindness he can read on his friend’s face.  

Remus feels a tear slip out of his eye then and has to look away, squeezing his eyes shut and tugs Julian back under his chin, burying his face back in Julian’s hair. "Yeah," he croaks. "Maybe you’re right Jules. I think you’re right.” He forces himself to pause, to take a deep breath. It’s a little easier with Julian feeling so small in his arms, because it makes him feel stronger. “When did you get so wise, little brother?”  

Julian sits back with a small smile. “I think I’ve always been wise, actually.”

Remus relaxes his hold a bit, and Julian slumps more easily into his lap, still smiling. He looks pretty pleased with himself. He reaches a hand up and wipes Remus’s tears away gently, like Remus has always done for him.

“Jeez," Remus captures his hands gently, in his own. "You think so? I’d say not so wise to run away from Mum though, yeah?”

Julian winces, and Sirius chuckles softly from above them. Remus smiles at his little brother, his familiar chagrined expression.

“Well, I didn’t.”

Remus raises an unimpressed eyebrow, instincts kicking in, because surely Julian wasn’t going to lie to his face?

“I snuck away from Dad.” Jules admits, and Remus actually laughs. He shoots a look at Sirius, who’s leaning into James and chuckling.   

The room laughs with them, and Julian twists around, startled.

Julian leans in close, maybe only now realising his words aren’t totally private. But he's nine, and he still hasn’t really worked out what an indoor voice is. “Mum and dad were crying. But then Mum broke the TV.” His eyes are wide, “She threw a puck at it when it started showing a video of you and this tall guy, after the lady was talking about it, and she smashed the screen!” He sounds impressed. “And then she cried a lot more, and then everyone was talking and crying a lot. And then someone said you were back with the team, and Mum was apologising for breaking the tv, and Dad was busy too with your coach about your charge or something, so I came to find you because they were being so slow.” 

Charge. His charge? Ah, pressing charges, maybe.

His older brother instinct tells him to ream Julian out for not telling anyone where he was going. But he also knows that if his parents really thought they had lost Julian, the first place they would have looked would be here, and he'd most certainly have heard about it before now. Remus can’t bring himself to tell Jules off, at all. And he sees Sirius’s shrug too, his expression amused and a bit chagrined. They’re both soft on Jules.  

“Everyone’s going to be a bit upset for a bit, I think.” Remus says, slowly. “So do your best to keep making us smile, okay?" Julian smiles at him, and Remus runs a hand gently through his hair, smoothing it back. It was so much longer than it used to be. It made Julian look older. "I think if you stay close, we’ll all be alright.” And Julian willingly comes when Remus tucks him back against his chest.

“I’m sorry he hurt you, Re.” He says, a few seconds later, voice serious.

Remus is utterly beyond words at the kindness within his beautiful kid brother, and instead presses a kiss against Julian’s head.  

“We’re sorry too, mon fils.” Pascal says, steadily. And the rest of the team is watching, most of them nodding. Thomas looks up to meet his gaze, seriously, from his stall.

“You let us know what you need." Thomas smiles, suddenly. "We can break TVs too.”

And when Remus croakily laughs, the team joins him.

Sirius finishes packing up his kit, and some of the team is already heading out. Most of them stop beside Remus and tap their foreheads together, or pull him into a quick hug. Thomas gives him and Jules one big hug with a warm grin, and Finn cries that he feels left out and leaps for them next. Logan fist pumps him gently, unusually quiet, before he leans in to give Remus a tight hug. Leo smiles at him warmly, and then Kasey is there, and then the rest.

Julian starts to have a great time, suddenly remembering he’s surrounded by his heroes.  

Pascal is still packing up, and some of the others are too. But Remus is ready to go home, more than. He feels a bit distant again, slow. 

Sirius notices without him having to say a word, and tugs a willing Julian up onto his back in a piggy back. Julian beams, hanging over his shoulder, laughing whenever Sirius turns.

James comes to offer Remus a hand up, and his expression is steady, watching him. "Alright?" He asks, and Remus is dizzy for a split second, his blood pressure maybe a bit low on his medication, but he nods, when it clears.

"Clear. Thanks, Pots." Remus murmurs, and James nods. Remus is exhausted, and his blood pressure might be low, but he isn't panicking. He isn’t panicking, his heart rate is okay, he can breathe, and all of that is worth a hell of a lot to Remus right now.

“Let’s go, Loops.” James tugs him gently towards the door.

Remus runs a hand uncertainly through his hair as they pause by the door to the family room, seeing Arthur and Alice speaking intently with his parents.

Julian slips down and heads over immediately, and Remus sees his mum’s face relax even from here. She doesn’t stop listening, but tugs Julian to her side and strokes his hair. Julian looks like he can’t quite believe his luck, shooting an ecstatic grin towards Remus that he isn’t being growled at for sneaking off.  

Lyall follows Julian's gaze, and actually gasps when he sees Remus, mouth opening and eyes widening almost comically. If not for the red eyes and obvious tear tracks on his face, Remus might have laughed. Instead, his stomach tightens, and he meets his Father's gaze with guilt. 

“Hope, love,” Lyall manages, and his Mum is turning too, and Arthur and Alice are suddenly retreating, slipping out past Remus hurriedly. The room is otherwise empty, though he’d seen Lily hovering down the corridor with Celeste. James leaves him with another side-ways hug, and Sirius catches Julian up again and ducks out the door. Someone swings it closed, and it's just them.

Remus is abruptly alone with his parents, and they hurry towards him, arms coming up. 

"Oh, Re-" and Lyall crushes him in, pressing a firm kiss against his forehead as Remus ducks in ever closer. Hope winds her arms around his waist, smaller and gentler, but no less steady.

“Oh, love. We’re so sorry.” Lyall breaths, and Remus suddenly can’t help the sob that strangles out of his throat.

"I'm so sorry." He manages. "That I didn't tell you." 

"No, love." Lyall squeezes him. "Never be sorry for that. You've done nothing wrong, Re." His Dad sounds choked with tears. "This is all him. None of it is you. None of it. We love you so much, Re."

Remus's eyes burn, as he hides there between his parents, and relief floods him. They weren't angry. 

“We’ve got you, Re. You’re okay.” Hope murmurs, cupping his neck.

Remus cries into his Dad’s shoulder, as his Mum holds them both.

Things get better. And when Remus steps out onto the ice a few weeks later, he feels safe in the knowledge that Fenrir Greyback will never be allowed back on the ice ever again. It helps that he’ll rot in jail for a fair few years too.

Talkie taps him a puck, grinning, and Remus flicks it back to him with an answering smile.

Things get better.

Finally, finally, Remus can say that he’s left Fenrir Greyback behind him. It's a damn good thought.