Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

As Veronica held Betty’s hair back, averting her eyes from the sight of her best friend hunching over a toilet for what felt like the third time this week, she wondered where things had gone wrong. They’d had a plan, go to the same college, stop letting guys like Archie Andrews get between them for no reason, and pursue what they wanted despite what anyone else thought. But it was halfway through sophomore year and Veronica was tired of the party life, something she thought she might never say.

In high school, she was sure everyone had assumed this would be her, in the tightest, sparkliest dress she could find, puking her guts out after too many shots before she’d go back and snag whoever she deemed the cutest guy. And she had done that, approximately once, but it hadn’t felt like she’d wanted it to. If she had it her way, she wouldn’t even be at this party. But Betty had asked, and Veronica could never shake that paranoia that either she wouldn’t be there when Betty truly needed her, or that one night would be all it took to lose her forever.

A year and a half ago, her head in the clouds, Veronica Lodge still believed she could do anything she wanted and get what she wanted. To some that might mean guys or clothes or the answers to next week’s quiz (which, admittedly, wasn’t always untrue), but with senior year coming to a close she’d known all she really wanted was Betty Cooper. It felt a bit like a Hallmark movie at first, a big city girl with the girl next door, but she’d spent too long repressing her feelings to convince herself they weren’t true. Like a true Lodge, she’d had a plan to tell her, all the details perfectly laid out. She’d planned the perfect graduation party for herself, and for the rest of their friends. The music, the food, the lights, all of it set to make a night to remember. And she’d specifically asked Betty to come to hers to get ready and help her set up the last details, all to give her enough time to tell her. Veronica really had meant to tell her.

“I know I said no more redheads, but did you see that guy looking at me?” Betty said, snapping Veronica out of her thoughts.

“What? No, I didn’t see any redheads,” Veronica replied, painfully aware that she’d been too focused on Betty to notice anyone else.

“Well, I’m going to go find him, you don’t have to wait up, Ronnie,” Betty said, bracing her hand on the counter to pull herself up, peering into the mirror to check and make sure her makeup had mostly survived, dabbing at the corners of her eyes with a pinky finger still wet from washing her hands.

“Are you sure? You’re clearly not feeling well–”

“Yes, I’m sure. You don’t have to worry, you’re becoming such a mother hen.” Satisfied with her reflection, she turned to look at Veronica with a smile plastered across her face. “I saw tons of guys looking at you, just pick one of them!”

“Yeah, sure, Betty. Just– call me if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay, okay. See you tomorrow!”

And with that, Betty Cooper opened the bathroom door and disappeared into the crowd of people.

As much as Veronica might have wanted to wallow, she was quickly pulled out of the bathroom by another drunk party goer who was clearly not very pleased by having to wait. She spotted a few of the guys that Betty had been referring to, a guy with dark hair and piercing green eyes from one of her classes, someone else who had asked for her number a few months ago at another party Betty had wanted to go to. But Veronica didn’t feel like flirting with some guy and the most interesting thing about the conversation would be seeing if she could figure out what they’d been drinking before they inevitably tried to kiss her.

Still, she didn’t want to just leave Betty alone, clearly drunk, for some redhead to try and get into her pants, or in this case the light pink, sparkly dress Betty had found at the back of Veronica’s closet and claimed years ago. She milled around the party, picking up a random abandoned cup to look like she already had a drink, she knew well enough to not drink anything she hadn’t poured herself at one of these kinds of things, trying to find Betty, or even someone else she might know, but mostly Betty.

Veronica had other friends at college, better ones than she’d ever had before moving to Riverdale, and she felt more like herself than she ever had. Except for that one thing. Although she still hasn’t ever told anyone about her feelings for Betty, she had hinted at something like it when talking to a few of her friends at the school paper. She’d originally joined with Betty when she was still worried about fitting in, but Betty had dropped after a month and Veronica was still there writing about fashion and the occasional economics column.

It’s nice to not have to always be Veronica Lodge here, even if that’s still the name she goes by. In a lot of ways, she’s still that same girl who first moved to Riverdale and screamed at her parents for ruining her life, buying whatever she possibly could as a way to punish them. But that kind of thing doesn’t feel as satisfying as she thought it did then, and so she’s trying to figure out what that means, to still be herself without turning back into that version of herself. To tell the truth.

She’s almost resolved to either find a friend or leave, curl up with a mug of tea and the ridiculously soft robe that her mother got her for Christmas, and then she spots the redhead. It’s not Archie Andrews, but in the blurry vision of a drunk Betty Cooper, it might as well be. Veronica can admit that he’s cute, but he’s also less remarkable than Archie was, with the crooked slant of his smile and those perpetual freckles. He’s honestly not even much of a redhead, hair too dark, especially in the dim house lights of this party. But he’s kissing Betty, hair clashing with the light pink of her dress and grip far too tight for Veronica’s liking, but no one asked her.

Veronica turns to leave, unsure exactly why it feels like there’s bile rising in the back of her throat when she hasn’t had anything to drink in over an hour. She’s doing her best to find the entrance to this house, now her exit, but there’s so many more people here than when she first arrived. It’s times like these she’s grateful for her aggressive shopping instincts as she not-so-delicately shoulders a few people aside to make her way through the crowd, and towards her escape.

Chapter Text

Veronica didn’t make it far before she quite literally ran into someone, and her face transformed even more into an imperious scowl than it’d been in the moments before. Better she was angry than devastated.

“What the hell?” She said, words dripping with the posh disdain that had been her everyday when she’d first come to Riverdale, and that she’d been trying to leave behind since she left.

“Sorry, Ron, didn’t see you there.” The apology came from a guy in one of her economics classes, not the same one she’d seen earlier, and definitely different. For one, she actually likes Alan, who actually tries to pitch in to group projects despite the fact he’s definitely in the class as one of his prerequisites.

“It’s fine, I was just trying to leave.” She replied, unconsciously straightening up to as tall as she could manage in her heels, although she still had to look up at Alan, although it felt less patronizing than with some men.

“Already? I’ve only been here for a few minutes.” He glanced around as if noticing the crowd for the first time, “It is pretty crowded though.”

Alan was a blond, a nice mix of handsome and pretty with muscular arms that probably meant he could pick Veronica up. He had those wholesome hometown guy vibes, the veritable boy-next-door, smart in his own right even if economics wasn’t his thing. But there was no spark there, not that Alan would have cared since Veronica could tell he had his eye on the lead singer of some on-campus band that she’d been meaning to see for ages.

“Crowded indeed, and I think I saw some people working their way toward conception on that couch over there, so as much as I’d like to stay and chat.”

“Of course, want some help getting through the crowd?”

“If you’re offering.” And she was grateful, two people were better than one, especially when one of them was built like a football player who, incidentally, also knew how to play the banjo. Veronica thought that getting some fresh air and being out of that cramped house would help, but she was still thinking about clashing colors and always, Betty.

“Is everything okay, Veronica?” Alan asked, stopping them both once they were a few feet past the nearest party goers.

“I’m fine, just a little tired of loud noises and the smell of frat boy cologne.”

Alan took a moment to respond, but Veronica had been in enough conversations with her father to know speaking first would just make her statement look weak.

“If you say so. But let me walk you home, yeah?”

“That’s really not necessary, and I’d hate to take you away from all the fun.” The last part was a little bit of a joke, and she was rewarded with him cracking a slight smile.

“Really, I insist. And I think my grandma would come back and haunt me if I didn’t.”

“How chivalrous, I’ll put in a good word to all the grandmothers about your good deeds. Maybe we can find you a nice musician who needs someone to walk her home and carry her stuff after her gigs.”

Veronica didn’t miss the way that Alan’s cheeks turned pink at that, definitely not the telltale flush of alcohol but something else as they walked along the winding sidewalks that led back to the apartment that Betty and Veronica shared.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh come on, this isn’t principles of macroeconomics.”

They both laughed, and for the rest of the walk home, Veronica didn’t think about Betty or redheads. A few minutes later, shoes in hand and her keys in the other, she sent Alan off with a red lipstick kiss on the cheek “for intrigue” and a smile that slipped off her face a moment after the lock clicked.

When Betty and Veronica had committed to the same college at the same time, Betty as an English major and Veronica as an Economics major, they’d planned to live together, despite all the warnings that best friends didn’t always make good roommates. Veronica knew Betty slept like the dead and wouldn’t mind when she stayed up late, and Betty knew Veronica would have plenty of clothes she could borrow. The only thing that had almost made Veronica cancel at the last minute was the plans to tell Betty how she felt right after they graduated, in case it went wrong or their parents had an issue. But she’d never done it, and now they’d moved from freshman dorms to a little apartment where Betty could afford to split the rent evenly with Veronica.

On nights like this, it feels like Veronica lives alone. The one benefit of Betty’s new party girl lifestyle is that she never brings guys back to their place, and Veronica is grateful because she doesn’t think she could stand it, even when the night ends with Betty just making out with a guy in the doorway.

Even if she wasn’t in love with Betty, she thinks that this would feel like losing her best friend regardless. Maybe her head was too far in the clouds when she imagined a college experience with Betty where they actually hung out and didn’t let guys and parties become the majority of what was talked about. It wasn’t all Betty’s fault though because Veronica had been keeping secrets from the beginning.

They hadn’t talked about next year yet, and Veronica couldn’t help but wonder if it was because Betty wasn’t planning for Veronica to be a part of her life when the next semester came along. Or maybe that was the two shots that she’d taken earlier at the party at Betty’s insistence.

After she showered, Veronica still felt too wired to fall asleep, despite putting on her favorite sleepwear. She sighed to herself and sat at her desk, returning to the fashion column she’d been working on for the school paper on her laptop. She hadn’t been able to come up with anything before leaving for the party, but she’d started to have a few ideas. Maybe something about red, and pink, or clashing colors in a couple?

For the next hour, her face was mostly lit by the glow of her laptop screen as she typed, occasionally taking breaks to stretch her fingers and roll her shoulders back, swapping pictures from the vision board she’d send over to the editorial team along with the column. And right before she finally stood up and went to climb in bed, she put all the files into an email to the paper’s editor, and hit send.

Chapter Text

When Veronica wakes up the next morning, stretching languidly in her sheets and enjoying the sliver of light peeking through her curtains, she doesn’t think about the previous night, at least not immediately. She smells coffee brewing in the tiny kitchen, Betty home at last, and she takes the moment to lay there and breathe before she begins the day.

As expected, the only light in the rest of the apartment is from any sunlight that’s coming through the still mostly-closed curtains. Betty is leaning against the counter, a sweatshirt covering everything except the hem of her dress. It’s not something she left the house with. Veronica’s used to it.

“Morning, Betty.” There isn’t any note of anything in her voice, even if a part of her is still a little bit hurt by the way Betty left her, redhead or not.

“It’s too early for that, Veronica.” Betty didn’t turn to look at her, pulling out two mugs from the cabinet and pouring coffee into both, sliding one over toward Veronica to let her doctor it herself. “I’m going to shower.”

And just like that, she was gone again, disappearing into the bathroom with the click of the door and a few moments later, the sound of the shower running. Veronica sighed, going over to open the drawer holding the sugar cubes and depositing one into her mug. So the day began again.

The day passes like most Sunday’s do after a weekend spent partying. Campus is pretty quiet and there’s still a slight chill in the air that means Veronica is alone while she jogs around campus. She has one earbud in with her running playlist going, but she doesn’t really hear it, too lost in her thoughts. She never thought she’d be the type of person to take a Sunday morning jog, but here she is. Veronica didn’t come to college to change as much as Betty did, but it happened all the same.

Her wandering thoughts are interrupted by the piercing ringing of her cellphone coming through the singular earbud and she slows down to a stop, leaning against the column of a light pole as she pulls out her phone. The screen reads ‘Kevin Keller’ and Veronica smiles despite herself. She answers the call.

“I thought you told me never to call you before 10am on Sunday mornings,” she says in greeting, a note of teasing if you knew her well enough to hear it.

“Hello to you too, Veronica Lodge. I’m doing well, thanks for asking.” Kevin replied, the dry tone still indicative of warmth.

“You’re so welcome, you know how much I care about your wellbeing.” Veronica said in reply, and with the conversation underway, she puts her phone back in place and continues on her run, not wanting to stay in one place for too long.

“I’m flattered. How are you, Veronica, really?”

“I’m fine, really,” she puts more emphasis on the last word than necessary, but it’s still slightly uncomfortable when people actually seem interested in her emotional wellbeing.

“And how’s Betty?” That gets a sigh from Veronica, and she can tell Kevin catches it, even without seeing the reaction on his face.

“You don’t have to be so smug about these things, it’s unbecoming.”

“Despite your ability to say things in a haughty tone, I can see right through you.”

The friendship with Kevin was unexpected in some ways, or at least unexpected in how it developed. When she’d first come to Riverdale, it had been about creating the perfect entourage, and Kevin Keller fit that image, a handsome guy with good taste who wouldn’t inevitably try to hit on her. But as she’d changed, so had their friendship, and he was the only friend left from Riverdale that it felt like actually knew her. A little bit too well, if their current conversation indicated anything.

He’d guessed about her feelings for Betty sometime during freshman year, when it had really begun to affect Veronica. Having someone know about what felt like this giant secret without having to tell them was refreshing, and Kevin had the benefit of both understanding her feelings and knowing the history that went along with them better than anyone did here. Honestly, at the end of the day, it was nice to have someone understand the perils of pining after your straight best friend, and sometimes it made the immediacy of it all feel less real.

“You’re rude this early in the morning. I really am fine, stuff is going well. Betty is– the same, honestly. Everything with her feels like a time loop that I keep willingly putting myself through, but I don’t really know how to stop.” Veronica said, the feeling of concrete under her shoes making everything feel a little bit less heavy.

“Well I’m glad you’re doing well.” He sighed on the other end of the line, a sound that Veronica was sure meant she wasn’t going to like what she heard next.

“Have you ever thought that maybe you aren’t actually in love with her anymore, you’re just holding onto the idea of her?”

Veronica almost ran into a wayward freshman who was standing in the middle of the sidewalk, barely sidestepping as she continued her run.

“Is there a particular reason that you called me because I don’t remember asking for a therapist?”

“Look, V, I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life, but I’ve noticed how much Betty has changed too. And I’m not saying that means you have to give up on her, but I don’t think you’re doing yourself any favors here unless the goal is to be a gay cliche.”

“Like you have much room to talk, how’s that guy in your 10am?” Veronica replied, snippier than she meant to.

“Good, actually. We ended up talking after class a few weeks ago and we went out a couple of times last week. He’s actually picking me up in a bit to go to this local market, that’s why I’m up so early. And to answer your deflection question, I called because I was thinking about you. And I saw some of the pictures Betty’s been posting, so.”

“Well– I’m happy for you. That’s good. I hope everything turns out well with that guy.”

“I do too, but it’ll be okay if it doesn’t. I’m not saying you can’t pine or have crushes, but this isn’t Riverdale or the 20th century and I think we’re both capable of finding dates that we actually believe can like us back. You don’t have to give up on Betty, but you also aren’t doing either of you any favors by hanging around her like a lovesick puppy.”

“I’m not Archie.”

“Haha, very funny. But seriously, V, I want what’s best for you and Betty. But maybe that means two separate people. She’s responsible for herself and if that means spiraling out, then there’s only so much you can do. You’re only hot and in college for so long.”

Veronica smiled a little bit at that, although the previous things Kevin had said still stung in ways she didn’t exactly want to confront at the moment.

“Look, I’m doing my best. I promise my entire life isn’t about Betty, I’m just not that interested in the party and dating scene. That’s not my entire life anymore.”

“I get that, but it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Also you need to text back more, and if I can’t berate you about anything else I’ll berate you about that.” Kevin replied, the last words slightly muffled by sounds in the background. “Hey, my date’s here, and I still have to finish getting ready. I’ll talk to you again soon, but actually think about what I said, okay?”

“Yes, okay, I will think about what you said. Enjoy your date and I want details after!”

“Yes ma’am. Love you, V.”

“Love you too, Kev. Bye.”

She heard the call end and a few seconds later her music began to play again. Part of her wanted to continue running, but she’d already done an entire loop of campus and she knew that her legs would be sore if she did another, so she started the trek back to her apartment. Veronica wasn’t sure what she would do when she got there, and she wasn’t sure about what Kevin had said, but she wasn’t sure she could ignore it like she wanted to.

When she let herself back into the apartment, the bathroom light was off and Betty’s door was closed. Veronica made breakfast as quietly as possible after showering, taking it to her room to start work on a project for one of her classes. She heard Betty leave her room several hours later, but by the time she emerged from her own 20 minutes later after finishing the paragraph she was working on, she was gone again.

Maybe Kevin was right, but for now it was a little bit easier to ignore it and let things continue as they had been.

When she went back to her computer, there was a red bubble on her email, and she clicked to see what it was. She was greeted with an email from her editor at the school paper.

“Hey Veronica!
Thanks for getting your column in for tomorrow’s paper. Since we’re on a tighter printing schedule today, I made a few light edits, but I like what you wrote and I went ahead and sent it to the printer for formatting. I’ll send you a copy of what it’ll look like tonight.
Sincerely,
Nancy.”

Veronica remembered exactly what she’d written. And now it was too late to go back. She’d complained about being stuck in a time loop, but maybe this is what would actually break it.