Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jim is so fucking fucked. What was he thinking? Barging in on Spock through their joined bathroom. Spock is kissing Uhura, who is only wearing lacy underwear. That’s so hot. Jim stops dead, maybe they didn’t notice. Fuck they are so gorgeous both. Jim has to lean on the door frame, knees weak. Fuck he has to get out of here before Spock kills him. His knees just, he has to feel his knees first. Spock is only wearing his black sleeping pants and looks so fucking fit. Wait a minute, Spock asked him to come here. Well ok, Jim thinks anyone can forget when faced with a beautiful almost naked Uhura. He should just turn around and leave them to it. He firms his knees and straightens up turning back.

“Jim. Stop.” Spock says commandingly. Yeah, yeah, stop looking, get out. “Sorry, I’m going.” He says softly. “No, Jim. Stop, look here.” Spock says softer this time, surprising Jim, actually stopping him. Jim looks over his shoulder. Spock is holding around Uhura, she is leaning against his chest. She is smiling softly. Then she straightens and kisses his chest and gives him a push. Jim is confused, but he knows he should leave and turns to go. A warm hand on his neck stops him dead. Funny, he’s so dead for looking at them. He wants to leave, well not wants to. He hits his head against the door jam.

“Ask him what he felt when he saw us.” Uhura says. Longing, that’s what he really felt. Spocks other hand winds around Jims chest. Spock is close and so warm, and muscles, and the hand on his neck, everything feels so good. Jim can feel how close Spocks mouth is when he asks “longing for what?” Fuck, touch telepath. “Yes. What did you long for when you looked at us?” Jim thinks that it is cheating but he can’t stop his thoughts; joining, being a part of, needing the touch and warmth and wishing for love but not wanting to destroy, intrude, respect. His thoughts stop dead when the hand on his neck slides to the side and a light kiss replaces it. Then the hand turns his head and the kiss lands on his cheek, then on his mouth. First lightly, then devouring, all consuming. He finds himself breathless leaning against the wall. Spock still wrapped around him, his hands underneath Jims shirts. So warm, so good. But what about Uhura? “He is asking about you ashayam.” Spock says aloud and leans his head against Jims.

She is suddenly there, beside them. “Look at me Jim.” She says. Spock leans back to let him do that. Jim doesn’t know when he closed his eyes, and he is not sure if he can meet Uhuras eyes. “Sorry Uhura, I didn’t.” He tries to say. Her soft fingers on his lips stop him and then slides to his jaw turning his head towards her. “Look at me Jim, please.” It’s the soft please that does it. She leans in and kisses him. Kisses him breathless, again. “It’s Nyota. We both want you. We both love you. We’ve been trying to show it the last two weeks, but you don’t seem to get it.” She murmurs against his lips.

Wait what? “You mean the kissing in front of me was. I just. I was happy you felt safe to show your feelings around me.” “And the hugs?” Uhura, no Nyota, asks. “And the touches from Spock?”. “I needed them, wanted them, I just didn’t want to say anything to make you stop.” “Oh darling.” Nyota says and kisses him again.

Spock turns him to face her and plasters himself as a warm, hard muscled wall against his back. Jim can’t help but join in the kiss. Spocks hands under his shirts push up, taking with them his shirts. Jim shivers. Spock kisses the back of his neck. “May I?” He rumbles in Jims ear, continuing to lift the shirts. Yes, anything, Jim thinks. “Anything?” Spock repeats asking after he takes off Jims shirts and leans back against Jim. Nyota leans against him from the front, there is so much skin. “Yes, anything.” Jim gasps. Nyota kisses him hard and deep and fast. “What if we want to have you in our bed, share you, take you and fill you up?” Nyota asks and Jims knees buckle, but he is steadied by warm bodies on both sides. “He likes that idea.” Spock tells Nyota unnecessarily. Just, don’t I can’t, Jim stops the thought, anything is better. “Just what?” Spock asks. Jim closes his eyes. Uhura leans back to allow him to answer. Why does he always have to ruin things? He just doesn’t know if he can survive getting this one time and then be alone again. “When have you ever known us to be casual about anything?” Spock asks. “If you want this, Jim, we will keep you for as long as you’ll let us.” Uhura, no Nyota tells him seriously. Jim lets his head fall back on Spocks shoulder. Of course he wants this, he just doesn’t understand why they would want his broken brain and chaos. But oh he WANTS. “Say it aloud for Nyota.” Spock says stroking Jims torso. “Of course I want it, but why would you?” Nyota kisses his neck. “Because we love you.” She answers. Jim is mortified to note the whine that escapes from him at that. “Just don’t let me go, don’t let me ruin this.” “We won’t, you won’t.” Nyota reassures him.

Somehow Jim ends up totally naked first of the three of them. He is not really sure how, when the other two started with so much less. His skin is never without touch and in his touch deprived state he is drowning. He always thought Spock would be dominating and forceful in bed, even if he is so controlled and kind of mild elsewhere. He is gratified to see that he was correct, mostly. He is also soft, and so fucking perceptive. Jim is not, at least not right now. He is pushed on his back on the bed Nyota on his left, Spock on his right. Both stoking his torso, kissing him overwhelming him. But Jim is never still long or passive. So Jim wants to test a rumour and catches Spocks hand with his, pulling it to his mouth licking Spocks fingers. Seems the rumours are true. Spocks eyes rolls up in his head and a deep groan is pulled from him. Jim grins and then sucks hard on the fingers in his mouth. Spock curses. Jim has never heard the ancient vulcan curseword spocken by a vulcan, but is makes him hot, hotter, whatever. Spock pulls his hand back. “This will be over fast if I let you continue.” Spock tells him. “Can you come from just your fingers being stimulated?” Jim asks curious, sitting up, pulling Spock in for a deep kiss. “I do not know.” Spock answers and Jim takes two seconds before his head clears enough to remember what he asked. “I want to try that sometime, an experiment if you like.” Jim says with a smile. Spock is blushing green and Jim just has to kiss him again. He lets his hands roam over Spocks back ending at his ass, pulling Spock even closer.

“Looking at you two kiss is my new favourite thing.” Nyota declares softly. Jim turns to look at her, Spocks hands still around him. She is watching them sitting on her heels. The idea of her watching the two of them maybe telling them what to do, that would be so hot. But does she just want to see, does she even want him to touch her? “He is uncertain if you want him to touch you.” Spock says softly, holding Jim harder against him. “Love, while I enjoy watching I want everything you are willing to give.” She tells him. Jim will give anything, everything. But is she sure, why would? His thoughts are stopped by a hard demanding kiss. Nyota pulls him to her, holding hard. “Don’t think, just be here, enjoy it. Kiss me, touch me.” She murmurs on his lips before kissing him again.

Her hands are warm on his back, running down to his ass, squeezing his buttocks and pulling him even closer. Spock takes his hands and puts them on her back, telling him to feel her. He roams her back, gliding to her front, tracing up her ribs to her perfect tits. Kisses his way down her neck, strokes his hands over her soft breasts, brushing over her nipples with his thumbs. “Oh, Goddess your hands are a marvel. Wonder how good your smart mouth is.” Jim grins, he will show her. He kisses his way to her breast, licking at her nipple, sucking lightly, kissing his way to the other, giving it the same treatment. As he bends his ass rubs against Spocks hard cock. That feels so good. Spock bends over him. “She likes when you suck harder, and a slight graze of teeth.” Spock tells him in a low voice. It makes Jim shiver, and he does as told. Nyota gasps and holds his head to her breast, and then after a little while she pulls him to the other. Spock keeps distracting him with his hands, stroking his front, over his abdominal muscles, never touching his cock, up to his chest, pinching his nipples between hard warm fingers. Jim gasps, his head coming up and back as his back bows of the sensations landing on Spocks shoulder. Spock kisses his throat and shoulder and keeps pinching and rolling his nipples making Jims brains mush.

Nyota lays down spreading her legs wide, knees up and holds her hands up to him. “Lick her, make her come.” Spock tells Jim when he lies down between her legs. “Fuck.” Jim exclaims. “Yes, would you like me to do that?” Spock asks as he lets his weight settle on top of Jim. His hot naked body on Jim, Nyota under him, Spocks cock rubbing against Jims ass. “Yes.” Jim moans. Spock pushes Jims head down to Nyotas pussy and lifts Jims hips up. “That’s so fucking hot” Jim thinks and licks Nyota. He holds her folds open and pushes his whole face to her moist warmth. Her hands grip his hair and guides to where she wants him, making Jim moan. When he feels Spocks tongue lick over his pucker he looses all concentration. Slick fingers join the hot tongue, making Jim shudder and moan. That is so overwhelming, but yes, fuck yes, Jim manages to think, feeling amusement radiating from Spock. Nyota lets him rest his head against her thigh. Petting his hair while Spock prepares him. It feels so overwhelmingly good. Spocks fingers hot and sure in him. “Now Spock, please!” Jim asks when he can’t take it anymore, he is so fucking ready. He needs Spock in him now. Needs Spock to claim him. “You are mine Jim!” Spock agrees in an almost growling voice and sinks his cock slowly into Jim. Spock only hears a low litany of “fuck, fuck, fuck.” Jim breathing, adjusting. “Sooo good Spock. Move.” Jim finally manages. Spock complies and starts a slow deep rhythm.

After a couple of minutes Jim moves and leans back into Nyotas pussy. “You don’t have to, love, just enjoy.” She tells him. He shakes his head.”want to.” He murmurs against her. Want to be overwhelmed, want to be shown how she likes it. Want to know they know he is not fragile. “Be firm, show him what you like ashayam, he wants it.” Spock tells her. Jim nods. Her hands firm up in his hair. Demanding him to move to her tune. Yes! Jim thinks. “Fingers in me Jim.” She gasps. The pace increases. Jims brain is full of yes, yes, yes. “You are ours Jim.” Spock demands. “Ours to keep, ours to take care of.” Nyota agrees. Jim tips over first. The words being the tipping point. His collapse on her triggers her orgasm. Spock gets in half a dosen thrusts before he follows.

Some time later Jim finds him self being helped to move up the bed, resting his head on Nyotas breast. He can feel Spock cleaning him up with a wet cloth but is too stunned to open his eyes. Spock is a warm wall behind him, Nyota petting his hair. “His mind is full of fluff ashayam.” Spock comments and kisses Jims neck. “You have a way of clearing everything but us out love.” Nyota agrees. They are still softly petting him, like they can’t believe he is here. But surely he should leave them alone, they wouldn’t want him to stay. Jims mind is spinning up again. “You should stay, relax and sleep t’hy’la.” Spock interrupts him. He pulls the covers over them, pressing himself closer to Jim, as if that is even possible, slinging an arm over them both, showing Jim they really want him to stay. Spock kisses his shoulder. “Yes t’hy’la we want you to stay.” Jim breathes out wriggles to get comfortable and lets the delicious lethargy claim him again.

Chapter Text

Jim looses his train of thought when Nyota sits down next to him in the mess hall. He was explaining a theory to Sulu. “Morning Captain.” She says chipper and rests a hand on Jims thigh under the table. 

What is he supposed to do, to say, he doesn’t know the rules. He is going to ruin everything. “Morning.” He doesn’t know if he can say Nyota, or if she will be angry if he says Uhura, so he uses neither. 

They couldn’t want him to be in a everyday relationship right? To show others? He was shit at that, and clingy. They want him in bed, that’s clear, and not just one time, that’s good, he’s good in bed. Now he just has to not ruin it. 

He had hoped to talk to them about it earlier this morning, but Spock had been meditating and Uhura had been about to leave for an early com update meeting when Jim had gotten up. So here he is, no idea of what’s expected of him. He could bullshit himself out of most problems, but not with something this important and new to him.

Uhura squeezes his thigh slightly and drinks her cup of black, thick as tar, coffee. Jim picks up his own coffee, milk no sugar, his throat is suddenly so dry. He almost drops it  when Spock sits down on his left. “Morning Captain.” Jim just nods, desperate to not fuck up, and tries to drink his coffee again. Jim does slosh some coffee when he feels Spocks hand on his left. Two fingers in a barely there motion stroking his first and second finger. He almost whites out from the feeling it wakes in his brain. Well that’s a new thing. Vulcan kiss. Fuck. He is going to fuck everything up. Why didn’t he ask about the rules yesterday. Because they fucked his brains out, thats why.

“They had fresh un-replicated apples today. I brought you one. Your diet could have more fruit.” Spock says and places an apple on his plate. Jim just nods, he has no voice, no words in his head, just static. Uhura and Spock do the Vulcan kiss in his lap for a second, before starting to eat. 

Maybe Jim can eat too. He never leaves anything on his plate. He can’t waste good food. But the apple. He tries to ignore it and eat the part of the sandwich that didn’t touch the apple. Bones is going to kill him. Suddenly Jim can’t take it anymore and gets up. Walks as normally as he can towards the closest head. 

“Who the fuck put an un-replicated apple on Jims plate?” Fuck Bones, that was Bones angry voice. Jim walks faster. He is already throwing up in the toilet when Bones overrides the lock and a second later he feels the sting of the hypo spray on his neck. “That should help. How much did you eat?” Bones voice is warm, worried. Jim tries to not throw up more bile. Bones warm hand stroking his back. “Just breathe, you are ok, you did nothing wrong.” Jim finally leans back, the shot working fast as always. 

Bones helps him up and keeps a hold on his arm, leading him to the medbay. Bones office, not a bed, thank fuck. He hears Bones do a new scan and a new shot stings his neck. He is too tired to complain. “Here.” Jim opens his eyes and looks at the ration bar, it’s been a long time since he needed one of those. Bones wriggles it and puts it on the desk in front of him when Jim makes no move to take it. A bottle of water lands next to it. “Fuck” Jim exclaims. “Yeah, it’s been a while.” Bones comments and sits heavily in his chair. 

“Fuck.” Jim repeats again when he hears Spock asking about him outside the office. It seems fuck is almost all the vocabulary he needs today. Jim gets up and takes the ration bar and water, knows he won’t be allowed out without it. Bones is shaking his head. “Bones, you can tell him.” Jim tries to head him off. “Tell him what?” Bones asks and lifts an eyebrow in his “are you sure” gesture. Jim nods decisively. “Anything, everything. I need to get to the bridge, but tell him and Uhura what they need to know, please.” Then he turns around and leaves, before anyone can stop him. He can hear Bones telling Spock to go into his office, the no nonsense voice, the one even Spock knows not to protest. Good, then he doesn’t have to say anything.

“The Captain, is he well?” Spock asks standing at parade rest as usual. McCoy is so tired of this shit. “The captain is fit for duty.” He answers. “Doctor, can you inform me of what happened in the mess hall?” Spock asks not giving up. McCoy would ask Spock to sit down but knows it’s no use and just sighs sitting down himself anyway. “Normally no, but he asked me to inform you and Uhura about his allergies and dietary needs. So you better listen up and appreciate this. He has never allowed anyone else to know all this. You better not gossip about this. I can make you hurt and no one will be able to prove it is me.” He threatens. “Vulcans do not gossip. My only reason to ask is so that I can help keep the Captain safe.” Spock declares and for once McCoy is inclined to believe someone saying that. And hey, he finally gets to give the lecture he always wanted to give about this. Spock seems to take this seriously, well good, lord knows Jim doesn’t.

“Thank you doctor. With the list of allergies, is it possible for you to send your treatment plan for said allergies and a list of healthy foods that are safe for the Captain to eat?” Spock asks after McCoys lecture winds down. He can see the doctor is surprised by the request. “Fine, I can do that, but remember” “as you know I have an eidetic memory doctor.” Spock interrupts him. “Yes, yes, Vulcans are the best, bloody green blooded hobgoblins. Us humans use the phrase to denote something especially important.” Spock just nods the bastard. “Understand that if this gets back to Starfleet he could loose his commission. The fewer that notice the better.” Spock nods again, but that is not enough for McCoy, not on this, “swear you will not betray Jims trust in you on this. That you will not discuss this with anyone but me or Uhura.” “Yes doctor. Is that all?” Spock asks. “Tell him you aren’t disappointed or angry with him about earlier.” Spock just lifts an eyebrow. “Trust me he needs to hear you say it.” “I will defer to your expertise doctor.” Spock agrees and leaves. McCoy dearly hopes the three of them work their shit out soon one way or the other. This is doing Jims head in with his insecurities that no one notices. 

“Captain, can I talk to you in your ready room?” Spock asks. It took longer than Jim expected. “Not right now Spock” he answers and tries to look intently at the text on his pad. 

The bridge is quiet, too quiet, so Jim looks up. Spock is still standing at parade rest in front of Jim and looks ready to wait there until Jim finishes his current task. Jim sighs, fine, he gets up and shaking his head moves to his ready room. He is still looking at the pad when he hears the door close. 

“I apologise, Captain, I did not know the scope of your dietary needs. I will do better.” Spock states. Jim sighs. “Did he show my whole file?” Because that did not sound like the response to that. “No Captain. Doctor McCoy explained your dietary needs and allergies.” 

Jim logged into his file, decrypted it, and gave the pad to Spock. “Here, read the whole thing. If we, if you, well you are going to need to know this if we keep doing this. Sit down and read the whole thing.” Then he gets up and tries to leave. “Captain, you.” “I’m sure. You and Uhura need to know, I’ll send her in. You can ask questions when you have read it.” Jim interrupts before Spock can say anything else.

“Uhura.” “Yes Captain.” “He needs your expertise on this, go join him.” Jim tells her and points his thumb over his shoulder towards the ready room. “Yes Captain.” 

They get an hour of reading his file, not nearly enough for a file that thick, before all hell breaks loose. Then it’s all hands on deck, battle stations, and chaos for 16 hours

Chapter Text

Jim wakes up suddenly, that was normal. His body feels like it’s been thrown into a meat grinder, and while not normal it’s not unusual either. Well, he had been in the engine room when the blast hit, so it was kind of fitting. 

The ship hums around him, almost back to a normal pitch, but they are not at warp speed. He guesses they had only been able make a short warp to safety after Jim and Scotty fixed the damn problem. 

Someone was holding his hand. That, that was unusual, Bones usually just glowered at him. Jim finally opens his eyes. Bones is indeed glowering at him. “Idiot. You almost died again Jim. You promised not to.” Jim looks around. They are in the single bed medbay, but it has two beds. Someday Bones is going to make good on his threat and put Jims name permanently over the bed. 

Uhura is sleeping on the other bed. Spock is sitting on his other side. Fuck, he is the one holding Jims hand. Spock squeezes gently on it. Worried eyes catching his. “I’m fi” he tries to answer, but his throat is so dry. Spock holds a glass of water with a straw to his lips. Jim drinks. Water hasn’t felt that good in ages. 

“I’m fine, I kept my promise.” He tries again. Bones harumfs “barely. You can do better.” Jim just nods. It wasn’t like he hadn’t done his best, but that was Bones for you, always demanding better. “He did his best. No one could have done better.” Spock comments. 

Bones lifts an eyebrow. Yes, what the fuck, Spock defending him to Bones, and without dry vit comments about it being illogical to do more than his best. 

“How long?” Jim asks. “21 hours.” Bones knows what he asks about. “Fuck.” Bones nods. Well ok then. “He hasn’t left your side since we were safe.” Bones comments and nods at Spock. “Vulcans do not require much sleep when adequately meditating.” It sounds like an ongoing discussion. “I didn’t know touch telepaths meditated while holding someones hand.” Is the sarcastic reply. 

“You should take Uhura to sleep in her own bed.” Jim says, looking at Spock, and thinks; and you too. “Jims right. You should get some sleep. Jim isn’t moving for 24 hours.” That gets McCoy an annoyed look from both of them. “Six hours max Bones.” Jim protests. “12 hours.” Bones counters. “8 hours.” Jim tries. “Fine 8 hours and you eat first, if you try to get up before that I’ll sedate you.” Bones answers looking like he won the argument. “Fine.” Jim agrees. “But only if you get some real sleep in those 8 hours.” Jim continues looking at Spock. Spock is startled. Yeah, no need for sleep right. 

“I’ve slept for, what five hours?” Uhura suddenly asks from her bed. McCoy nods. “I’ll be fine for a couple of hours more. Spock, go sleep, I’ll join you in a while.” She tells Spock. Spock looks wearily at her. After a long while Uhura lifts an eyebrow and Spock sighs. Why did everyone but Jim have such good eyebrow game? “Very well. But you will not move, Jim, before I am back.” Spock demands. “He won’t.” Bones assures him, saving Jim from promising anything. Spock gets up, wobbles and catches his balance again. Then he leans down and kisses Jims forehead. “Be well t’hy’la.” He whispers and leaves. 

Jim is speechless, just looks at Bones, like, did that just happen? “I know.” Bones answers just as incredulous. “He did some kind of Vulcan voodoo to keep you alive while we tried to stop the bleeding.” Bones comments. “It was close, Jim, so fucking close.” 

“How are everyone else? Scotty?” Jim asks suddenly tense, brain finally starting to work. “Minor injuries. Just minor injuries on the rest. Scotty is already back to finish fixing as best he can. Sulu has the con. It’s just you Jim.” Bones sighs. “I’m getting you two something to eat.” Then he leaves them alone. 

Uhura sits in Spocks chair and takes his hand kissing it softly. “We were so scared, Jim, please don’t leave us.” She says softly tears in her eyes. “I will do my best.” Jim promises around the lump suddenly in his throat. “What did he do?” “Spock melded with you, took your pain, kept your heart beating.” She answers. “Oh, Bones must have been livid.” She laughs. “He was cursing the both of you with words I haven’t heard before, in between barking orders of course.” “Wow.” Uhura just nods. With her vocabulary that is impressive indeed. 

Jim feels a bit lost. And that is well done when he is in fact sitting on his own bed. He just doesn’t really know what to do. He has slept for 10 hours after eating and Spock is back on the bridge again. Bones will sedate him if he tries to join him there. 

Uhura is hopefully sleeping again, he should leave her alone anyway, not impose. He is too much work, they will reconsider soon and leave him alone anyway. He should really try to talk to them, it’s just that somehow the words don’t come out when he tries. Not when it’s about relationships and him anyway. 

Jim picks up his pad and sits down in his sofa to read all the reports of the incident. It was worse than he thought, the unread pile long and half of it was new requisitions. He starts in one end, it wouldn’t help to wait. He is halfway through the requisitions and hoping like hell they were allready limping towards the closest starbase, how had no one else gotten seriously injured? Then he feels a warm hand on his neck and Spock sits down next to him. 

“You should not be working.” He says and pulls Jim close. “How are you feeling?” He continues and kisses Jims hair. “Fine. How is my ship?” Jim answers and lets Spock take the pad. “Fine, we will be at starbase 89 in six hours.” Limping indeed. “Why not starbase 24?” Jim asks. “They didn’t have what we needed. 89 was just 3 hours further and will be able to help us better.” Spock explains. “Regulations.” Jim starts fighting a smile. “Yes, but 813,9 says we can use common sense to get us back to speed faster.” Spock answers grumpily, tired, not noticing how his sentences slips to less than formal. Jim laughs softly. He was betting the federations naming practices for starbases made the Vulcans crazy, not enough logic or planning. 

“Will you rest with me?” Spock asks after a little while. “I’ve slept enough for three days.” Jim protests. “I did not say sleep t’hy’la, only rest.” Jim looks at Spock. He looks so tired. “You were supposed to sleep when I was at sickbay. You didn’t did you?” Spock doesn’t answer, and that says a lot. “You should sleep. You will sleep better in your own bed without me.” Jim protests. “No, I will sleep better with my arms around you.” Spock counters. Then he leaves for the bathroom to get ready for bed. 

Jim looses some time in thought, because suddenly Spock is standing close in his soft black thermals. Jim looks up at him. Did he really mean it? Spock holds his hand down to Jim. “Will you join me?” Jim lets himself be pulled up. “Are you sure?” Sure you want me, sure it will help, why would it help? “In addition to wanting you there, I will not be able to get the deep sleep I require for optimal function unless I have you safe in my arms. If we had a permanent bond it would be different, but as it stands now, yes it will help significantly.” Spock tries to explain. Jim shrugs and nods and some of Spocks tension dissipates. Spock leads them through the bathroom to his room. Jim stops “I’ll just.” He points to the bathroom and Spock nods continuing toward the bed. 

When Jim gets back he is unsure. He has his pad in case he can’t sleep. “Do you want me to undress?” He asks. Spock liftes the covers. “Whatever is comfortable for you Jim.” He answers. Uh, ok. Jim removes his outer shirt, the room is warm and Spock is a space heater anyway. Uncertainly he takes off his shoes and trousers, sitting on the bed in boxers and undershirt. Was this ok? Spock pulls Jim closer with hands around his waist. He guesses thats an answer in it self.  “Do you mind if I read?” He asks Spock still a bit uncertain. “No k’diwa, if I can hold you, that will be fine.” Jim startling at the endearment. It takes a little wriggling and adjusting but soon enough Jim is leaning on pillows against the headboard, one arm around Spock, unconsciously playing with Spocks hair the other holding the pad so he can read. Spocks head is on his chest and he is almost purring with his hand under Jims shirt holding him close. 

“Thank Goddess, he is finally sleeping!” Uhura exclaims whispering when she arrives three hours later. “Thank you love.” She continues and kisses Jim on the cheek. He looks at her asking with his eyes. “Thank you for helping him sleep. He tried to sleep earlier but I don’t think he really managed. You being here makes a difference.” She explains, “How long has he slept?” Jim thinks about it. Spock had been restless when he continued to read the reports, but when he finally started to read the book he was in the middle of, Spock had relaxed and fallen into deep sleep. “Two and a half hours maybe, he didn’t really relax before I stopped reading reports.” Nyota sits beside him. “Touch telepath.” She says in a low voice. “He’ll sleep four, maybe five hours combined if you stay there.” She tells him. “Can you stay? Can I get you anything?” Jim nods. “Can you get me a Jim shake number 3 horizontal from the replicator?” He can see the questions, but she just nods and comes back with the shakebag. “Thanks. Bones formulated theese for me. You haven’t had time to read the whole file have you?” He asks. She shakes her head. “I’ll log in for you when you want to continue. I haven’t given you permanent access yet.” “You don’t have to. We filed relationship forms as soon as we could, you should have approval forms in your inbox.” He swallows wrong in surprise, and tries to not cough or choke. Spock moves, but Jim unconsciously calms him down by stroking his back. 

“We should have waited and asked your permission, but we couldn’t face the risk of not being able to stay with you in sickbay.” She explains. He still can’t really wrap his head around them wanting this, him, especially publicly like that. “We told you we wanted to keep you.” Nyota shrugs. “Sure, but you haven’t read the whole file yet, you can’t.” Nyota sits back down next to Jim a warm hand on his cheek. “Nothing in there will make us love you less.” Jim shakes his head slightly, then taps on the pad, a long string of code, activating already filled and saved forms. Nyota watches curiously. Even if he was basically hacking them access, or at least speeding up the process significantly, he had to press “Yes” five different times to show he was absolutely sure about giving them access. 

“Now you have access. Read it before you say that again. You might have to sign an NDA or two before it opens though.” He explains. “Seriously?” She asks. “Yeah, some of it is beyond even admiral clearance levels.” “Ok, now you have me curious. Drink your shake.” She  reminds him and rises to get her pad and sit down with her cup of tea by the table. Her eyebrows rise fast. 

Jim can’t watch this so he logs into his own inbox. “Relationship approved pending your signature.” The title jumps at him in red big letters. “What the fuck. They approved it already.” He exclaims opening the file. There in black and white are the words that will declare all three of them in a committed relationship with each other. The two have even ticked the boxes for sharing medical info and personnel files. “You know they want to keep the vulcans happy. And you are probably on their pre approved list anyway.” Nyota says, her eyes never leaving the pad. 

What pre approved list and why? Jims thoughts are interrupted by an official looking mail from the vulcan consulate. It is a confirmation of the vulcan side of the relationship approval. They use words like courting with the intent to bond, only in Vulcan. He closes the pad. It is too much right now. He wouldn’t sign anything until after they both have read his whole file and discussed it. He is tired again and scoots down the bed curling on his side. Spock moves with him and spooned behind him rumbling happily nuzzling his neck without waking. He might as well sleep a little more, the shitshow would be there when he woke

Chapter Text

They are talking quietly over him when Jim first slides up to wakefulness. “He still doesn’t believe we want to keep him.” Nyota says. “I have named him t’hy’la.” Spock protests. “I know he understands some vulcan.” He continues. “Yes love, but he might not know the extent of our love for him, nor the importance of that title.” Nyota explains. “Then, Ashayam, we will have to do better.” Jim slides back into sleep again, he is warm and safe.

“We should have courted him more.” Spock is saying when he surfaces again. “We tried that.” Nyota counters. “He accepted the first three gifts.” Spock continues. “I don’t think he understood it as courting. I’m not sure if he is able to see himself in that role. I understand better now that I’ve read his whole file. We can’t leave any room for doubt of our motives and goals. Both in words and in action. He is smart, he knows the theory, but we have to convince him that we really want him that way.” Jim tenses. “Then we will. Ah, he is awake again. Good morning t’hy’la.” Spock strokes his hair. “Thank you for staying while I slept.” Spock continues. “When we are properly bonded it will not be so difficult for me, as I will feel that you are safe, even when we are not touching. But last night I needed to feel you to be able to sleep. I apologise for the inconvenience.” “Thats ok Spock, my fault you had missed sleep anyway.” Jim answers. “He actually believes that.” Spock says  surprised looking up at Nyota. “No t’hy’la, it was no fault of yours.” Spock leans over him and kisses him. 

The door pings and interrupts them. McCoy walks in and nods to Uhura, who is sitting on the sofa again. “Thanks for the heads up. How long have they slept?” He goes on to the bed, Jim half panicked that Spock would not like to be seen in bed with him. Spock holds him back and leans over again to kiss him. Kiss him in front of Bones. Jim is dizzy and does not understand anything. 

“Jim has slept five hours, Spock eight.” Uhura answers looking at the time. Bones lifts an eybrow, lifting the scanner and Jim can feel Spock nodding. “Good, almost back to normal. Jim, you need to up your intake of fluids and calories for a couple of days. You know how. And Spock you have to do what ever voodoo you do to balance your neurotransmitters.” Both nod to Bones. “Then you are cleared for light duty. Jim; stop by for a chat and a coffee sometime today.” “Thanks Bones, I will.” Bones nods and leaves. 

Jim sits up, even if Spock is still holding around him. “What time is it?” “Still two hours till alpha shift.” Nyota answers. “Good, I need a shower.” “Can I get you something for breakfast while you do that.” Jim is already up and on his way. “Sure, I’ll have a shake.” “Same as yesterday?” Jim nods. Then he turns towards Spock. “You need to read the rest of the file before you talk to me again. I can’t talk about bonding or anything like that before you know everything.” He says. Spock looks shocked but nods.
When he gets back from the shower an irritatingly fresh and normal looking Spock sits in the chair by the table and is indeed reading his file. Jims shake and a coffee is on the table next to Nyotas breakfast. He sits down there. “Good morning love.” She smiles to Jims surprise. “I’ve read the file. Yes the whole thing, it’s a fucking suspence novel, a long one. And what did I say yesterday?” she asks. “It would not make you love me less.” Jim parrots back. “Exactly and that holds true. Can I kiss you now?” She asks. He is still kind of shocked but he nods, he will take all the kisses he can get. Nyotas smile is blinding and she pulls him into a long and deep kiss. When she leans back she keeps an arm around his back.
“ I didn’t know you could program the replicator to ask if you are vertical or horizontal.” Jim shrugs. “Bones humour.” Like that explains everything. “I see I’m vertical today.” He takes his glass, the only thing different between the options being the vessel it is served in, and drinks it slowly.
Spock hands him his pad, not saying anything. Trust Spock to keep to the letter of his words and to find a loophole. The pad has a text notice; “I expect you will want to read up on ship progress, Captain. We are still in dock, I have lined up the documents for you.” And the documents are in deed organized as if Jim had asked about them verbally. Jim nods his thanks and Spock goes back to reading the file. 

“I’m going to engineering. I have to check that Scotty hasn’t put to practice any more of his trans warp theories. Those request forms I signed yesterday don’t seem as innocent today.” Jim tells them after reading all of it. 

“Ok love, take it easy though. McCoy said light duty.” Nyota reminds him and kisses him as she gets up too. “I’ll be on the bridge. I have to recalibrate some sensor arrays since they have finished changing the parts. Go on, kiss him before you leave or he will pout.” She challenges Jim with a laugh, kisses Spocks cheek, and leaves them. 

Jim looks at Spock. He keeps looking down but his ears are dark green, how adorable. Jim angles Spocks head up for a kiss with a soft touch of his hand on his cheek. “Do you want a kiss?” Spock still doesn’t say anything, but Jim can clearly see the want, so he kisses Spock deeply, warmly, meaningfully and leaves with a smile, with fingers on his slightly swollen lips. It takes a while before Spocks head is clear enough to continue reading the file. 

When Spock finishes the file he has a strong need of meditation. He is furious. How is it possible for one person to experience so much terrible situations and be let down by so many people? What is absolutely certain is that he has to be calm before he meets Jim again. Spock bases this conclusion on two factors. Firstly Jim will read the anger in a second, and secondly the probability of Jim thinking Spock was angry at him is approximately 86,2% The first part Spock knows from before reading the file, the second part is new. So he has to meditate and process the anger before he meets Jim again. Even if he has a strong need to find Jim at once to tell him his file did not alter one iota of Spocks love and respect for the man. If there is any action Spock can take to not negatively impact Jim he will take it.

Jim has finally gotten to Bones office. He knew how seriously Bones wanted a private word with him. A sandwich and a shake stood waiting for him. Jim sits down and looks asking at Bones. “You precognitive now?” Bones laughs and shakes his head. 

“I asked Uhura and Scotty to send me a ping when you left to come here.” “You sneaky old man.” “Hey less of the old!” Bones protests. 

Bones takes his own sandwich and starts to eat, knowing Jim will follow him unconsciously if he doesn’t draw attention to it. Jims recently triggered food allergy with its history of triggering traumatic mental responses makes McCoy thread carefully. They eat in silence for a while. 

“You ok Jim?” Jim nods thoughful. “They didn’t pressure you into anything?”  Bones presses on when Jim doesn’t say anything and because Jim had clearly been uncomfortable about something this morning. Jim looks up surprised. “No!” Bones knows that look. “But what?” 

“I forced them to read my whole file before I talk with them about the relationship again.” It is Bones turn to be surprised. “The whole file? Jim, that thing is massive!” Jim throws his hands up “I know! Ok, I know! But they are talking about bonds and about keeping me, and they don’t know me well enough to want that. There is no point in discussing it before they know everything!” “Fine, fine, if you need that, it’s fine. Send them to me if they have questions you want me to answer. How did you even manage to give them full access so fast?” “I don’t know, Bones, the way I usually do?” Jim answers. “On second thought, the less I know about how the better.” Jim laughs at that. 

Bones looks at him seriously “But Jim, they know you.” Jim shakes his head. Bones wants to shake the kid in front of him but just continues his argumentation “You are not your file! Your experiences leaves marks yes, but Spock and Uhura know who you are now. You should trust that they know what they want.” Jim just continues shaking his head not looking at Bones and reaches for the shake. Bones stops him with a hand on his. 

“Jim look at me.” Jim does. “You have wanted this for so long. Allow yourself to believe in the possibility at last. I have been trying to get you to see that they want the same for at least two months. Can you believe me now?” 

Jim just looks at him, tears in his eyes, almost over flowing. He wants to believe so bad. But he is hopeless ok? Bones just crushes him into one of his all-compassing hugs. They just sit there for a while, Jim not crying, Bones not letting go. 

Suddenly Jim tenses, he recognises that voice. “Where is he?” “You are not going in there without doctor McCoys permission.” They can hear Christine stopping him and Spock continues asking questions. 

“Stay here. I will talk to him.” Jim nods and leans his head back against the wall looking up. Fuck, what did this mean? Why did Spock sound angry? He can hear Bones closing the door behind him. 

“Spock, why are you barging in to my medbay harassing my people?” He asks in a stern voice. “Why is he sad?” Is Spocks reply. Jim hopes Bones sent Christine away. 

“Have you read the whole file?” “Yes.” “So soon, how?, do you actually remember anything of it?” Bones probes. “I took 3,62 hours to read it and two hours to meditate to process it. I remember everything.” Is the reply. 

“Everything?” “Yes Doctor, you know I have as you say; photographic memory.” Fuck Jim had forgotten that. “Remembering everything is not understanding everything. I can” “that is why I did meditate for two hours.” Spock interrupts him. “I am allowed to answer any questions you have.” Bones doesn’t back down. 

“Thank you doctor. I will ask. But first I need to see Jim and reassure him.” “Yeah, about that, how did you know his emotions?” “Uh. We have a preliminary bond established when keeping him alive two days ago.” It is the first time ever Jim has heard Spock stutter and what bond? “Fine, but use your words and listen to him. Bloody vulcan voodoo” “Thank you doctor.” Is the tart reply. 

Jim stands up, so he can move if he needs to. Spock closes the door behind him. Then he just looks at Jim. He doesn’t look angry. “Can I hold you t’hy’la?” He asks softly. “But you know everything now, why would you want to?” “Can I, t’hy’la, please hold you?” Jim nods still uncertain. “I will explain k’diwa, I just need to feel you safe first.” 

Slowly, carefully Spock embraces him. One hand stroking his head, the other holding him close. Spock pulls Jims head so that it rests in the crook of his neck. Hand on his neck, bare skin to bare skin, lets him read Jims confused emotions. 

“I have read and understood, as well as I can from text and pictures, your file. Thank you for sharing it with us. I do not think you do that lightly.” Jim shakes his head minutely,  not really wanting to move from the warm safety of Spocks embrace. “You are indeed safe with us. We love you, and want to bond with you. We want you t’hy’la.” That shakes Jim. Fuck touch telepath. He has to remember that. “Indeed.” Spocks voice makes Jim think he was smiling. 

“You know using that touch telepath thingy is cheating, right?” Jim asks with a smile.  “I have been made aware of this, yes. Cheating is something I learned from a good friend. He calls it levelling the playing field.” Spock answers remembering their first real discussion about cheating and Jim cant help laughing out loud. “Do you mind me reading your thoughts when I touch you t’hy’la? I can shield more.” Jim shakes his head leaning back against Spock. “I don’t mind, it’s relaxing to know I don’t always have to say the words.” “I too find understanding you to be easier if I can get some of your many thoughts and feelings about what we do and say this way. I do have to inform you that even if I will shield should you wish it, my control is not optimal when I touch you.” 

Jim doesn’t know how long they stand there before the door opens again. Spock looks over his shoulder. “It is Nyota.” Jim relaxes again. Nyota  embraces Jim from behind. Kissing his neck, and then kissing Spock. “I told you it wouldn’t change how we feel.” She murmures in his ear. He nods.  

“Well maybe it changes a little.” She continues Jim tensing again despite the familiar teasing tone. “Now we want you even more. Would be even more proud to have you as a bondmate. You have survived so much. You are so smart. You care so much about everyone here. Your aptitude tests are even more amazing than I thought. And knowing that you did not lie about how you learned russian is a bonus.” Jim huffs a small laugh and tries to relax again but he has to say it. “But I am broken. There is so much trouble with me.” They hold him harder, knowing what it cost for him to say it. “That changes nothing.” Spock says. “And we are all a little broken here.” Nyota continues. 

“What did the doctor say to make you sad.” Spock asks after some more cuddles. Jim tenses again. “Did he try to persuade you to not join us?” Spock asks carefully. “No!” Jim exclaims. They wait patiently for him to find his words. “He has been trying to get me to see that you wanted me for the past two months.” “I see. I will have to find a way to thank him.” “Then why were you sad?” Nyota asks. “Because I can’t believe anyone wants a broken toy, not to keep.” “T’hy’la, you are our forever, we will always want to keep you.” “Always love you.” Nyota continues, kissing his neck. “If you can not believe our words, let us show you in practice.” Spock asks. They hold him for a long time. Jim just soaking in the warmth. 

Nyota finally lets out a small laugh. “What?” Jim asks. “McCoy said to tell you; No sex in my office!” Jim has join the laugh at that. “Then let us retire to our quarters and show you our feelings there.” Spock suggests. Jim stands straight again. Then he nods and even Spock almost smiles. 

“You better take good care of him.” McCoy comments when they pass him. “That is the plan.” Spock answers so certainly and calmly. It makes Jim blush. 

Spock stops them at his quarters. Jim huffing and overriding Spocks code in a second. “I have given you both access to my quarters.” Spock comments standing with his hands behind him in a relaxed parade rest. Jim laughs softly. “I know, I removed it from me. Had no reason to have full access. Felt it was good for me to stop and think long enough to put in the override code before barging in.” “I will reinstate it.” Spock answers he walks kind of predatory towards Jim. “You will not remove it again. There is no need for you to think before entering anymore.” He says sternly, embraces Jim and kisses him. “Is there?” He continues when they break for air. Jim has to think before he remembers what they were talking about. “No I guess not.” He answers as Spock turns them around and sits down on his bed, pulling Jim onto his lap. He slides his hands under Jims shirts. “May I?” He asks as before. “If you do the same.” Jim answers with a smile. Spock regroups and pulls off his shirts before continuing with Jims. Nyota sits down to remove her boots and then continues with the mens shoes. “Thank you, ashayam.” Spock says. Then he slips his hands in the back of Jims trousers, ghosting over Jims buttocks making him gasp. Spock pulls Jim closer making their erections grind together. “Fuck.” Jim exclaims. “Yes if that is what you want.” Spock agrees with a glint in his eyes making Jim believe he is laughing. “You are such a facetious little shit.” Jim laughs. “I do not believe any of those words are applicable to me.” Spock answers seriously making Jim laugh harder. Jim throws his arms around Spock hugging him still chuckling, leaning his head on Spocks shoulder. Spock lets himself fall back on the bed and holds Jim to him, just relaxing in Jims happiness

Chapter Text

“Stop, Nyota, something in this is triggering him.” No, no don’t stop, I’m just broken, it’s fine, don’t stop. Jim couldn’t get a word out. “Jim, look at me.” Spock asks, Jim shakes his head. “Ok, love. I will ask one thing at a time, just think the answer.” There was some good things about being with a touch telepath. Yes! Jim thinks, but don’t stop! “We will not stop t’hy’la, but we have to understand first so we do not hurt you. Was it what we did?” Spock asks Jims answer is a clear no “No. Was it the words we said?” Spock continues. Maybe. “That is an unclear answer. A possibility. Wait while I review.” Spock asks and starts to go through the last five minutes again. 

“Was it when I called you a good boy?” Nyota asks quietly memory and intuition melding. The whole man under Spock shudders. The word kicks him into a flashback of his stepfather beating him, leaning over him telling him he would never be good enough, stupid boy! Suddenly the vision changes. Spock is there stopping the beating hand and nerve pinching Frank. How? 

“Come join us, t’hy’la, you are safe, I will explain. Come back to us love.” Jim takes the hand that is offered to lift him up and finds himself surrounded by warmth. Spock is pushing against his psi points. “Are you back love? You are safe.” He can hear Nyota ask. Spocks feelings of immeasurable love are overwhelming in the meld. He can feel Spock slowly start to withdraw. “Don’t go.” Jim asks. Spock pauses. “I apologise for melding without your consent.” He says. Jim can feel the regret and relief in the meld. “You always have my consent to meld. I trust you.” Jim answers, the relief and love overwhelming him again. “I am ending the meld now, t’hy’la, I am not leaving, just including Nyota.” Jim was so alone and cold suddenly. 

“We are here, we love you.” Nyota reassures him, kissing his back, stroking him. “We will not leave you. You are ours. We love you.” Spock continues and kisses Jim softly. Fuck he is so broken. Why did he always cause problems? “You are not a problem. We will simply strike that word from our vocabulary and go on loving you.” Spock explains and kisses him again. 

“Please show me you still want me.” Jim manages to croak aloud. “Please.” “He means it.” Spock confirms. Nyota starts to stroke his back, down to his ass, Spock kisses him firmly again. Jim almost cries in relief. “You are so beautiful Jim love. Innside and out. I want to touch you everywhere, show you how much joy you bring us.” Nyota states and then she proceeds to do just that. Stroking down to his feet. Stroking up again, kissing along the way, his feet, his legs, oh fuck his sensitive back of the knees. She stays there a while, licking, petting. Spock swallows his moans, thrusting his hard cock against Jims hip, kissing Jim furiously. Nyota reaches the inside of his tighs, another hot spot. Jim swears as she jumps over his cock and licks up his stomach, up his ribs. Spock is giving her room, but still staying close, pressed against Jims side. When Nyota licks one of his nipples, Spock sucks the other one in his hot mouth. It feels so overwhelmingly good. Jim looses time as they cover all his skin, one way or another. Nyota is hovering over his hips, kissing him hard, biting his lips. “Want me to ride you, love?” She asks. “Yes!” As he breathes out the plea, she sinks down on his aching neglected cock. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. It feels so good! I won’t last.” Nyota kisses him again. “Thats ok, let me make you come.” She asks. “But you.” “Relax darling, I have two cocks at my disposal don’t worry. I want to make you come now. Come in me now love, so Spock can feel your come in me when he fucks me.” “Oh fuck! You are going to kill me with love, with sex.” Jim moans. “Unlikely.” Spock answers “Now come in our Nyota. Let her feel how good you think she is.” He only gets a drawn out moan as Jim comes. “So good love.” Nyota tells Jim, still rocking softly milking out Jims orgasm. Kissing him softly. She looks at Spock. “Fuck me Spock. Make me come.” It makes him buck against Jims hip. “He is so hard for us.” Jim gasps. Spock turnes his head and kisses him hard. “Yes, you two make me so hot.” “You are always hot Spock. Like literally and figuratively.” Jim gasps as Nyota lifts her hips, letting Jims cock slip out. “Now, Spock, I need you in me.” “Like this is it?” Spock asks and kisses Jim one more time before he moves behind Nyota. “Yes, I want to keep kissing Jim. Fuck me Spock.” “As you wish.” Spock answers kneeling behind her, then, pushing slowly into her. Nyota moans into Jims mouth. “It feels so good. He is so hard.” Jim can feel Spock slowly pulling out and thrusting back in. “She is so wet t’hy’la. Wet from your come and her slick. Can you feel it dripping?” Spock asks, making them both moan again. “If you keep talking like that, I’ll get hard again.” Jim warns them. “Is that a problem?” Spock asks calmly. “I guess not.” Jim answers smiling. “We will take care of you.” Nyota promises and keeps kissing Jim as Spock increases the pace. Just as they come over Jim, the red alert blinks on. 

“Fuck.” His communicator beeps. Jim fumbles for his shirt on the floor and cliks the communicator on. “Yes.” “Captain, you better get up here, two romulan warbirds uncloaking.” “Fuck”. Both Jim and Nyota exclaim. “Captain?” The crewman asks. “Yes,  will be there asap, lieutenant. Keep’em off us. Five minutes or less.” Jim, no the Captain answers. He wipes himself off with a clean wet cloth Nyota gives him and hopps into a clean uniform. “It could be worse.” He says. The two others look at him for a second while he pulls on his boots. “It could have been just before you came.” Then he is running to the bridge to save the day again. 

“Couldn’t reach commander Spock or lieutenant Uhura, Captain.” Lieutenant Loots tells him. “Don’t worry, they know, on their way. Do you have contact?” “Yes sir.” Jim slides into the chair. “Connect. This is Captain Kirk on the Uss Enteprice. What is your purpose here, so far from the neutral zone?” The captains no nonsense command voice asks. He didn’t have time to see the bridge crew react to his earlier statement and both Spock and Uhura are walking calmly by the time they are in shot on the bridge.

Jim is so fucking tired when they are finally back in Spocks quarters. At least the Enterprise is still fully functioning and Jim hadn’t needed to go to medbay this time. They all had taken quick showers and when Jim got out of his there was different fingerfoods on the table. He hasn’t had that in a while. He sits heavily in the sofa. Nyota gives him a big cup of hot cocoa as she sat down next to him. “Thanks.” He murmures. It tastes as good as it smells. Spocks ears turn darker green at Jims appreciative sounds. Jim is too tired to make anything of it but he notices. Maybe the tiredness is the reason his brain doesn’t freeze and he manages to actually get some questions asked.

“Do you really want a public relationship with me?” Jim asks. “I would have thought our relationship approval forms would make that quite clear.” Spock answers. “Theoretically they should, but you read the files. Do you still want to.” “Yes love, we would like a public relationship with you.” Nyota interrupts. 

“Even if it will be a media shitstorm, be like really public?” “Yes Jim, we want even that. Do you not want it?” “I wish it wasn’t a big deal, I’ve been in the public eye since I was born, and I have never liked that.” He pauses “I’ve never been in a real relationship, I don’t know the rules.” “What rules?” Spock asks. “What do I call you? How do I act in public with you? Can I touch you, hold hands, kiss?” The two others look at each other over the table. “On duty we should continue as now I think.” Spock says but he sounds uncertain. “Ok” Jim nods “Off duty; do what feels good to you. We will figure out what feels right together.” “So I can call you my boyfriend?” Jim presses. “You can, I would prefer partner or fiancé.” Jim looks at Nyota. “I would prefer girlfriend, but the others are fine too.” “Do you have preferences Jim?” He shakes his head. He hasn’t even thought about it. “Do I call you Nyota or Uhura publicly offduty?” Jim remembers to ask. “Call me Uhura publicly, first names are for private use in my culture.” She answers. 

“I know you still don’t believe we want you for good. And that is fine, we understand why. Just please allow us to show you that we mean it.” Nyota continues. “And keep hope until  you do believe. Talk to us if you are uncertain. We will never be angry at you for being uncertain or asking questions.” Spock adds. Jim looses his words a bit after that. “Would you like to sign the relationship forms now?” Spock asks softly and hands him a pad. Yes, Jim decides he does want that. He signs the form and sends it to Starfleet before he can think too much. “Thank you k’diwa”

Chapter Text

Jim is pacing. He is so fucking annoyed at the admirality. romulan warbirds had been popping up in unexpected places close to a big starsystem in sector 54. They didn’t know why and Jim wanted to do a survey of the planets to figure it out. The admirality was taking a long time to decide anything. So they were sent on a diplomatic mission while waiting. Ferrying diplomats was a boring job but sending the flagship was a strong signal that the Federation prioritised them. So here they were. Jim usually managed to relax and make the best of every situation. Diplomat ferrying should be low stress. But this time it was like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

Spock was using the extra time in the labs, Nyota was talking to the diplomats about their language. Jim was pacing. He sat down with his pad and started to look into the info they did have on the planet system, again, to see if he had missed something. 

“Good evening t’hy’la.” Spock kisses his hair when he arrives and goes to shower as he usually does. Jim mutters a greeting but keeps on working. When Spock comes out he looks at Jim silently for a while. Jim is reading old rapports and trying to get a kink out of his neck. Spock makes them an evening meal. 

“Will you eat with med k’diwa?” He asks and sits beside Jim. “What, oh.” Jim is brought out of his reading and looks at Spock. “Hi Spock, finally finished in the labs for the evening huh? Anything new?” Spock gives him a cup of hot chocolate, Jims second preference after coffee. “Thanks love.” Jim holds the cup close and breaths in the amazing scent. “You make the best chocolate drinks.” “Indeed. Have you found anything new in the exploration reports?” Spock nods towards the pad. Jim just shakes his head. “I wish they’d tell us something soon.” “Agreed. There is a 68,3% chance they will send someone else if they decide they will follow our recommendations.” “I know, it just bugs me when I can’t solve a puzzle.” “Will you talk it through with me?” “Sure, if you can stand to hear me ramble about it again.” “I will always want to hear your thoughts t’hy’la.” Spock reassures Jim and starts to eat his evening soup. Jim gets his sandwich and starts on what is bugging him the most. 

“I have observed that you are bothered by your neck. Is it painful k’diwa?” Spock asks when they are finished eating. “It’s just a stiff neck, can’t really seem to relax enough.” “Will you allow me to assist? I am proficient in massage.” Jim raises his eyebrows in surprise, then shrugs and nods. “Sure. How do you want me?” Couldn’t hurt right? “Anyway I can get you.” Spock mumbles almost smiling, before he continues “It would be wise to finish your evening ablutions first as you will be tired when I finish.” Jim looks at Spock questioning but when he doesn’t elaborate he just shrugs and does as told.
When he comes out of the bathroom Spock has lowered the lights and lit a candle on their nightstand and is kneeling on the bed. Wow, he looks good in this light. He is wearing his soft sleeping pants, but not the long sleeved t shirt he usually sleeps in. The light from the candle makes the shadows dance on his muscles. “Come here t’hy’la.” Spock asks holding a hand out for him. Jim is naked, he prefers to sleep like that since it gets hot with the room above normal temperature and two hot bodies sharing his bed.
Spock starts by softly stroking Jims back. Jim loves the feeling of warm hands. He sinks deeper into the bed relaxing. Spocks hands leave for a second and come back wet with oil. It doesn’t smell like anything but it is warm and makes Spocks hands glide over Jims back.
“Do you have experience with neuropressure massage k’diwa?” Spock asks him. Jim shakes his head. Only massage he has had is foreplay to sex and this is so much better allready. “It consists of me pressing my fingers to nerve clusters where the muscles are stiff and do not have adequate blood circulation. You can experience a minor level of pain, but it will increase the blood circulation significantly and help to relax the muscles. Would you like to try it k’diwa?” Jim nods, “Sure, sounds good. I trust you.” He answers thinking a little pain is nothing new. “Breathe out when i push down.” Spock instructs. The first pressurepoint hurts a lot, then Jim remembers to breathe out and the tension seems to leak out of him taking the pain with it. After the first the next ones are almost painfree and Jim can feel his shoulder heat up deep in the muscles.
Spock moves and Jim looks at him. Spock straddles Jims hips and asks “is this ok Jim?” “Yeah, feels good.” Jim answers and lays down again. Spocks strong legs pressing close to Jim, it really feels good. The pressure and release evens out his breathing, the warm hands massaging around the area softening everything to jello.
Bones has been telling Jim that he is touch starved. Jim had always called it skin hunger. Just being close, getting hugs or something like that. He has never really had that growing up. And as an adult he didn’t know how to get it without meaningless sex or fights. Spock and Nyota are really good about that though, always being close and asking if they can hug him. Where he has been content with a few back slaps and sitting close with Bones while drinking some evenings and sparring, but now he craves more. He would feel empty without the daily hugs and kisses from his two partners. He will never survive or at least not thrive without them anymore. He is spoiled. His sleeping libido has roared awake too with theese two. He just can’t get enough of them.
Spock is slowly working down Jims back. Jim has neglected his workouts lately, well Spock and Nyota have been working him out lately, Jim smiles at the thought. He should get back to sparring again. He could be parring with Spock again now, when he knows an eventual arousal won’t destroy a friendship. Jim misses sparring with Spock. He is the only one Jim can safely let loose with. He is better than anybody else on the ship even the security department and even if he likes training them he has to be a teacher, can’t just let loose and not think about anything else but the next hit, the next evasion. Spock is amazing and so hot when they spar so controlled and powerful, making Jim work for everything, the endorfins and adrenaline singing in him. Problem is Jim always gets hard from sparring with Spock. 

Spock has reached his hips now. Jim feels like a puddle of jello, so relaxed that he wonders if he will ever be able to move again. Only, he is also hard. Spocks massage is gentler now, stroking firmly but softly on his buttocks. “Spock.” “I know k’diwa.” Jim wants those talented hands in him again. Spock in him. “Will you let me do all the work, let me love you and relax and just take what I give you?” Spock asks and moves further down Jims legs. Kissing the top of his butt. “Yes.” Jim gasps, anything, his arousal kicking up a notch. Spock continues to massage his ass, but it has a new goal. Spock moves again and pushes Jims legs apart. He stars massaging Jims right thigh in long strokes, one hand on his inner thigh, making Jims nerves sing. Jim works to keep relaxed, just feel, breathing deep.
“Good, keep doing that k’diwa.” Spock praises. He eventually moves to the left thigh and Jim is succeeding in just floating in the feeling. It comes as a surprise when Spock moves back to Jims ass. He massages slowly, pulling his cheeks apart, letting go again, letting his oil wet fingers trail in Jims crack, ghosting over his hole. Then he feels Spock move again, laying down between Jims legs, broad shoulders pushing Jims legs even further apart. His hands massaging ass cheeks again, pulling them apart. Suddenly Jim feels Spocks slightly rough tongue at his hole. Warm, so much warmer than even his hands. Jim can’t help gasping from the feeling, but he breathes out relaxing again. As he does that Spock licks him again, and again, slowly increasing the push finally breaching into him.
Every time Jim gasps and tenses from the feeling Spock won’t do anything until he breathes deep relaxing again. Fingers joining the tongue, more oil, more fingers. Finally Spock moves over him and slowly slides his hard cock into Jim. Jim has never felt anything like this. Being so relaxed and so aroused at the same time. He is in a mental zone where he can’t tense up anymore. Everything feels so good, so much. Spock slides gently, slowly, in and out of him, kissing the back of his neck. They just exist in this, what feels like one long moment. Spock moving like waves on the sea, Jim just taking it, existing in this. His orgasm hits Jim like a sledgehammer coming from nowhere sweeping him out of his head all together.
When he can feel himself again Spock is laying half over him one arm drawing light patterns on Jims back. That was amazing love. Jim thinks. “I agree, now sleep t’hy’la.” Spock says aloud continuing to stroke Jims back softly. Jim lets himself sink under again slipping into relaxed deep sleep. 

Chapter Text

Jim catches Spock as he comes in the doors to their quarters. Kissing him deeply and catching his hands weaving their fingers together. Spock makes this gorgeous deep groan kissing him back and letting Jim press him against the wall. Lets him push their bodies together. Jims hands lets go of Spocks and they seek under Spocks uniform shirts seeking hot skin. Spocks senses are overwhelmed with Jims lust, and love, and he can only manage to keep kissing Jim back. “I missed you, I missed you, I missed you.” Jims touches seem to say. “Jim love, let him sit down and eat something first.” Nyota tells them. She is right beside them and neither of them noticed her approach. She gently turns Spocks head to her and kisses him deeply. Jim pulls them over to the couch and they sit down.

Jim and Nyota hand feed Spock fruits and nuts. Spock is so overwhelmed but pleasurably so, so he allows it and lets himself just take everything in. Their hands are so good, sending never ending lust and love through his skin. He does not really notice when the food stops and the touches linger. Mouths used on his hands and neck instead. He does notice when they help remove his clothes. It is a relief. He is so hard and hot the clothes are for once restricting and too hot. “Can we see how far we can push you by focusing on your hands? Please?” Jim asks holding Spock hand in his, intertwining their fingers. The skin between his fingers is extra sensitive. It sings of their love and lust. “Spock love, look at me.” Nyota asks. Spock does not know when he closed them but he obeys. “We want to see how far we can push you with just stimulating your hands and brain. Are you willing to try?” Jim repeats his please. Spock nods almost frantically. “You can ask us to stop at anytime love, but otherwise we decide what to do when.” Nyota clarifies. Spock nods. “You can beg of course.” Jim adds cheekily with a broad smile. Spock looks at him and notices that his beautiful mate is kneeling on the floor as naked as he is. Caressing Spocks right hand with both of his. He is so gorgeous and Spock can feel the pressure in him growing. He feels overloaded with their combined pleasure. His brain collects itself for a second when he catches himself begging to come. He should be afraid of his vulcan nature to just take over and get what he wants by sinking his aching cock into one of his lovely mates, but he isn’t. There is no doubt to his mates full concentration on his best possible pleasure. He lets himself sink into it fully again. It is a glorious overload of their thoughs, sensory overload and an itching need to be touched on the rest of his skin. Jim as always reads it somehow and strokes a hand up his arm, while holding his hand firmly with the other while sucking on his fingers. The hand travels, stroke his body, pinches a nipple, then the other. Strokes his stomach, but does not touch his cock. «Come for us ashayam.» Nyota commands. «I can’t, please touch my cock.» he begs. «Yes you can. Come for us love.» she answers and sucks hard on his fingers. He obeys, and for the first time, while awake, he comes without anything touching his cock.

«Jim, one hand on your cock love, I know you need to come.» Nyotas voice surprises him. Jim hadn’t really thought of his own need to come at all until it was pointed out to him. He looks up at her, his hand automatically obeying her command. She is still wearing her sleep t shirt and lacy knickers. Spock is relaxed, almost goofy, looking leaning his head on her shoulder. His hands still held by their hands, his eyes half shut in enjoyment. «That’s good love, now stroke fast and firm, I want to see you come.» Nyotas voice breaks his train of thought. He obeys, and finds he really is close to coming. «So beautiful darling, come for us.» Nyota commands and two more firm strokes and his body obeys. He has to lean his head on Spocks thigh for a minute as his vision whites out. Spock reclaims his hand and sinks his hand in Jims hair, petting him softly. «Jim, look up.» Spock murmurs softly. Jim turns his head and sees Nyotas body tensing, she has one hand in her knickers and the other is still holding Spocks. Her body tenses and then she is coming beautifully. Oh shit, Jim should have offered to help her with that,he forgot, he is a terrible. «Stop t’hy’la she would have told you if she wanted that. You did exactly what she wanted.» Spock stops his thoughts. Nyota tenses in an after shake and then relaxes. «He is right. You did good Jim.» she murmurs, and pulls her hand out and offers it to his mouth. «Want to clean me up?» and he does, she tastes so good. After a short cleanup they cuddle up in bed, Spock in the middle for once, in stead of Jim. «Thank you, that was wonderful.» Spock says softly and curls his arms tighter around his mates before allowing himself to relax into sleep.