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Chapter Text

2 November 2016:

"Ma'am," the loud voice rings in his ears. The one he believes will someday love him lies on the floor in the room he locked out from most of his life. She's the woman he calls mother because, at the end of the day, that's the right thing to call the person who gave birth to you.

As the ambulance called by the maid rushes to that room, Ray stands still, unmoved. He feels nothing, confused, and strangely relieved. If you ask him, he doesn't know what brings him that relief. Is it because the woman who ignored him most of his life is gone? The one who didn't scold him when he made trouble, the one who drank herself into misery – gone.

Ray thinks that if the woman he called mother died, at least she might feel happier knowing that she won't see him anymore. He understands that no one with dreams as big as being an artist would happily let them go after being knocked off from a one-night stand. No one would be happy marrying an absent husband, even if he's a successful businessman.

With these thoughts running through his head, Ray feels a bit dizzy as people hug him, telling him she is loved and they're sorry for his loss. Maybe if Ray could feel happiness, this would be his happiest moment in life.

But when he tries to tell them he's happy, the words won't come out; the sound dies at the end of his throat.

"Oh God, this is the best gift you can give me on my birthday. Thank you so much!" Ray chuckles a bit while thinking, suppressing that overflowing happiness.

5 November 2016:

His father, for the first time in a while, is at home, there for him in the funeral home, there when a psychiatrist tells him why the words won't come out. Maybe this is the happiest he has been – somebody is looking out for him. Not his maid, not the teacher who tolerates him because he has a rich dad, not a friend who's told by their parents to befriend him, but the second person who's been absent most of his life.

The doctor tells him this happens because he is shocked about that woman's death (such a ridiculous reason; he is as happy as he can be), and he has to come often for counseling.

He will, or he will not. The sound doesn't have to come out; he will be happier alone without people to talk to. He's been alone most of his life, so he'll just live the same way the rest of it happily.

20 December 2016:

Today is the start of the Christmas holiday, like any other previous year. Ray doesn't care much, as he doesn't celebrate that kind of thing – no, Ray never celebrates anything.

Today is also 49 days after that woman died. This house feels more empty without the sound that came from that woman's room. The sound he knows played from a turntable gramophone and the music from the '80s.

He misses that sound, also the sound of the whiskey glass being thrown to the wall. Oh, also from that screaming and all-night crying.

He walks to that room, the room he never entered, and the room he never had enough courage to open. The owner died, so it's no one's now but others to own.

He slowly turns the knob, entering the room he's never seen before. Forty-nine days since it's been used but being kept well by the maid; he can tell that nothing has changed since everything reminds him of the woman he calls mother.

He envies the maid – they can come and go as they please to this room to clean when the madam is dead drunk. But he never even dreams of entering once, even though the madam died. It's useless to think now since he will claim everything as his. Of course, including that bottle of dark brown liquid that he can find on the shelf with the glass to drink.

He never drinks something like that, but that woman drinks it often. That's why she died. He reaches for that drink confidently and pours some for himself into the glass.

He drinks it fast and hard enough; he can feel the burn at the end of his throat. He already likes it from the start, detaching him from reality and making him forget everything.

But why, after 49 days that woman died, does the sting in his heart come? After even her ghost is gone, tears swell in his eyes. That night, for the first time in a while, he cried for that woman to sleep.

Chapter Text

28 August 2023 (Ray’s POV):

As he once heard someone say, every person has four lives: one that sows, one that waters, one that reaps and one that consumes. All humans regardless of their status, the rewards and punishments for their previous lives all took place in their next lives.

Ray doesn’t know what life he is in. What he can be sure of is that he lived his previous life badly, as this life looks so much like punishment. Ray doesn’t even bother to learn sign language; not all people understand it, and care to learn for him. After all, no matter what the language is, people won’t understand. For a long time, he stopped borrowing people's ear.

Ray has grown so much since he is in his last year of university. Even though he doesn’t speak, he makes a group of friends that doesn’t mind. He carries a little note everywhere – one that helps him order food, buy expensive clothes, and also to ask for a good dick from a stranger.

Namcheum is that nosy and loud friend who often hangs out with her girlfriend, April. Ray likes April better actually, she is calmer and seems to live in the moment.

Ray ever sleeps with Boston, of course who never. He likes the sex, but they have a silent mutual agreement to never talk about it anymore.

The last one is Mew, he has one little secret with Mew. Ray used to love him, but Mew made it clear a long time ago that they are only friends. Mew is sweet, innocent, lovely. Something that Ray never can be. So, he is just a friend now.

His friend doesn’t know the reason why he doesn’t speak though, no one knows. People assume Ray was born like that and he never corrects them.

He still plays hard, drinks every time he wants to, and sleeps with whoever can give him warmth for the night. But as long as he remembers, it seems like his time has stopped. Everything no longer resonates, and he realizes he is alone after all.

This night like any other night, he came to this bar called Y.O.L.O belonging to one of their seniors in University, P'Yo. Of course like any other night, Ray ended up on the bathroom floor wasted and hugging the toilet bowl.

"Are you okay?"


He heard some familiar voice opening his stall, bringing his attention.

"Where is your friend?"

That Tall man with black leather jacket asks again.

Ray stands up, and doesn't like the interruption. He makes it clear with a frown in his face while trying to slam the bathroom door closed. That guy stopped him, trying to barge in. When that guy comes closer, Ray can see his face clearer. He remembers the singer guy that sings most of the time Ray here. He makes a mental note to complain to P'Yo tomorrow, but is unlikely to remember anything like most of the time.

For now, he will solve this problem by himself like most of the time. He swung his arm trying to make a punch to that singer's face, the face that has been bugging him. 

28 August 2023 (Sand’s POV):

Sand has already finished singing with his band for P’Yo’s bar tonight, P’Yo is his senior from the same University but different major. He likes to sing here, besides he got paid well and people here like his song list.

“Hey where are you going?” His bandmates ask.

“Restroom, I will follow you guys out when I finish. You guys go first.”

Sand walked to the restroom to relieve himself, but instead saw Ray sitting on the floor, hugging the toilet bowl.

Sand knows Ray, who doesn’t. Ray is famous in university, Rich and handsome guy that sleeps around but Can’t speak. It doesn’t matter, Sand doesn’t care so much about other things except people's personality.

"Are you okay?"
Sand asks.

"Where is your friend?"

Ray stands up, frowning as he tries to slam the bathroom door closed, making sure Sand knows he doesn’t like the interruption. Sand extended his hand to stop the door that Ray was about to close, trying to barge in.

Ray swung his arm trying to make a punch to Sand’s face, but to no avail lost his balance. Instinctively, Sand dodged, but upon seeing Ray almost falling, he quickly caught Ray's body. What a good guy he is, almost getting punched by a man that looks like sleeping on his shoulder right now.

“Hey wake up, where is your friend?”

Sand asks, disregarding the fact that no one has searched for Ray since earlier, and Ray can’t answer him.

In a dilemma, Sand decided to escort Ray home. He helped the person that was hugging him right now and bid farewell to his waiting friend. He continued to assist Ray in walking all the way to the parking lot.

There is another problem, Sand doesn’t know where Ray's house is and Ray doesn’t look like he can tell him.

He thinks about it sometimes and he just remembered that Ray is P'Yo's junior on campus. Sand tried several times to call P'Yo to ask for Ray's address or at least get Ray's friend's phone number. However, it seemed Y.O.L.O was very busy that night, and P'Yo didn't answer, no matter how many times she was called. He can’t leave Ray alone.

“I’m only bringing you back home just because I want to help P’Yo, and driving under the influence is a big no under my watch. Even if you don’t seem will be awake soon to drive, What a burden to society.” Sand says to Ray like Ray understands and to make him feel like helping Ray is not something he wanted to.

“You bring your car here right? Give me your key!” Sand says while reaching into the pocket to search for Ray's car key.

Ray obediently gives Sand his car key from his back pocket, and he continues to hug Sand again as if his life depended on it.

Sand can’t help but stare. Ray smiles so much while hugging Sand like he is okay if the world ends tomorrow. That smile that has been bugging him non stop.

Sand struggled to place Ray in the passenger seat because Ray was reluctant to release his embrace. “Be good, I'll bring you home” Sand says, it seems Ray understands him and gives Sand a little groan while releasing his embrace.

Driving back home is hard, Ray won’t let go of Sand while driving, even though he has told Ray many times that it is dangerous, and they're likely to crash if this goes on. Thanks to whoever has power above, he successfully drives back to his apartment in one piece and in time to reach the bathroom so Ray can puke.

Sand helps Ray puke, massaging his back until Ray finishes throwing up. When Ray is done, they fall to sit in the bathroom back to the wall. Ray falls asleep while leaning on Sand's shoulder.

A little book fell from his pocket, Sand wondered what was inside it. Curiosity kills the cat, but what can he do when he gets nine life and the other cat is sleeping soundly on his bathroom floor leaning on him. At least he has to know something about the most popular guy on campus.

‘The most expensive whiskey you have’

‘Show me your new collection’

“Huh, a rich dude” Sand thinks.

‘Wanna drink tonight?’

‘You cute, wanna come back with me?’

“A slut” Sand thinks again.

‘I’m sorry for speeding, but I swear I’m not drunk’

“Burden to society”

He continues flipping through the pages to see a wonky handwriting, Ray must write it when he is drunk.

‘Please don’t leave Ray.’

‘I don’t want to live like this.’

‘If only tomorrow is the end of the world.’

Sand feels wrong reading these notes, he reads something he shouldn’t have. He wonders who Ray shows the note to, if Ray looks like a Sun that is out of reach everyday. Who might see his vulnerable side?

Chapter Text

29 August 2023, 7:00 AM:

As the first morning sunlight filtered through the dusty curtains, Ray slowly blinked his eyes open. The pounding headache and dryness in his mouth were unmistakable signs of a heavy drinking. He groaned as he tried to sit up, only to realize that he wasn't in his own bed. He woke up on the sofa with his phone, jewelry, notes, and a glass of water on the coffee table near. His clothes have been changed by someone, as he is using a comfortable t-shirt with “POOR BOY” written on them and shorts.

Panic surged through him as he glanced around, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings. The room was dimly lit, decorated with some band posters, decorative plants, and many jars of drink neatly arranged in shelves. A faint smell of cigarette smoke lingered in the air, making his stomach churn even more.

Waking up, Ray tries to walk around the room. Trying to find the clue to the place where he actually is.

“You are up? Rich Boy” Someone asked while walking out of the bathroom.

“You were such trouble for me last night,” he added.

Ray tilted his head, showing a puzzled expression. He didn’t realize what happened, but he realized that the person he was talking to was the singer from P’Yo’s Bar. Trying to remember the singer's name, and actually recognise him as the singer often introduces himself at the start of the show.

It didn't take long for other memories of the previous night to flood back into his mind. He had been at the P’Yo’s bar, drowning himself in whiskey like usually he did. He vaguely remembered picking a fight with the bar’s singer, and then... nothing. The rest was a blur.

As usual, Ray doesn’t remember almost everything last night. But he sure as hell the bar’s singer helped him and brought him back to his apartment. He is not angry anymore, thinking clearer as the alcohol from last night seems to have lost its effect on Ray's brain. He grabs his notes, writing something while Sand watches him.

‘Sand right?’

‘Did we have sex?’

‘Do I consent?’

‘You shouldn't do anything with drunk people’

‘But you are hot, so I forgive you’

Sand becomes angrier as Ray flips through the notes, revealing their content to him. One night he helped someone that tried to punch him, and the next morning that same person accused Sand of sleeping with him.

“No, we don’t sleep together. Last night, You were as drunk as a skunk. Without my help you’ll be lying dead in the streets right now. And all I want to sleep peacefully knowing no one is getting hurt by you because of drunk driving. Huh…You can’t even drive actually last night”

‘Do you want to do it now? Masturbating helps with hangovers, actually.’ Ray wrote down, he just wanted to irk the Bar’s singer more actually.

“You've sobered up already. Drink this water and go. I don't want anything to do with you anymore,”

Sand said nonchalantly while handing Ray his clothes and opening the door for him, urging him to leave as soon as possible.

Ray obediently follows Sand's command to drink the water, grinning as he walks toward the door.

‘Are you sure?’

“You shouldn't drink that much, and getting knocked while being drunk is not okay whoever did it to you. Try to value yourself more,”

Sand says while closing the door behind him, kicking Ray out.

29 August 2023, 11:00 PM:

Ray is in P’Yo’s Bars, like he usually did with his friend. He drinks with his friend, being so nosy with a guy that Boston introduces to the group, Top. He doesn’t care, like any other day. Again, in this full table Ray can’t keep up with the talk, as he has to write it down. Like anybody cares, no one asked him how he got home last night. The important thing is that he came to the bar tonight. As the room filled with people, Ray felt lonelier and lonelier, even loneliness turning into something he can see.

The most important thing for him right now isn’t Mew or any of his friends, Ray is actually more focused with the singer that finishes his song and comes down the stage to change turn as it’s dj time. Sand walked to the back of the bar, pocketing out his cigarettes.

Ray follows sand out ignoring his friend calling him out actually curious behind his back, seeing him taking a drag of smoke and blowing them out. He walked closer to Sand, tugging his clothes to attract attention. When Sand notices him, Ray fishes out his notes showing it to Sand.

‘Do you have a lighter?’

“I do, it’s probably yours. I get you knocked out and take it as a payment,” Sand says, crossing his arm.

‘Sorry’ Ray shows another note.

‘I ask Yo about last night’ Ray shows another page to Sand.

“Why do you have to ask her? Don’t I have any credibility?” Sand sounds offended.

‘Sorry’ Ray shows his note from before.

‘And thanks for saving my life’ he flips the page, actually looking remorseful.

“Fine. That’s all I want” Sand gave up, looking at Ray that felt relieved.

Grinning, Ray points at the lighter in Sand hand and cigs in his mouth. Sand understands what Ray means, handing him his lighter.

Looking up with cigs in his mouth, Ray doesn’t take it. He smiles, encouraging Sand to light his cigs with his eyes. Sand had actually found Ray cute for quite some time, noticing his resemblance to a cat with big brown eyes.

Sand can’t help but stare at Ray while lighting his cigarettes, even after Ray blows his smoke out and moves back showing signs that the cigs lit already. Sand stare can’t go unnoticed, Ray can feel Sand eyes on him all over.

He took out his notes, write down something like he usually did.

‘I can’t speak, but I can moan. Wanna test it out?’ showing it to Sand.

Sand actually laughs reading his notes, not a slight of annoyance can be seen, but instead giving what Ray wants, he walks back into the bar smiling. Ray can tell that he did something to Sand, and he feels a little proud making that sullen bar’s singer smile. Nevertheless, Ray is curious.

Chapter Text

30 August 2023, 2:00 AM:

The day Ray comes back from having fun is the day he is depressed the most, since all that laugh and talk is gone, replaced by silence.

‘Please don’t leave Ray.’

‘I don’t want to live like this.’

‘If only tomorrow is the end of the world.’

Is something Ray manages to write in his notes but fails to show others. 

On some random day, with flowing tears and glass in his hands Ray tried to vent his anger, but he only got himself. He can’t get a grip, but He can’t let go. There wasn’t anything to hold onto though. No one understands him, he doesn’t even understand himself, so who will understand Ray? Even himself has become a deadly weapon.

30 August 2023, 8:00 AM:

Ray’s alarm rings, the usual alarm that wakes him up, reminding him of the class he needs to attend that day. The only thing that doesn’t match is Ray doesn’t need to be woken up; he didn’t even go to sleep last night. He gets out of bed, nonetheless, heavily making his way to the bathroom to get ready. Ray is not an honor student, but he tries every day, even when he goes to class sleepy and hungover. He tries in school for his father, despite even after trying all this time the expression his father gives every time he sees him, as if he's already a failure.

30 August 2023, 11:00 AM:

Class finished and Ray is left alone, what can he do. Cheum is going out with April, Boston is hanging around that new guy called Nick, and Mew with his new boyfriend Top. Everyone is having fun and leaving him alone, it’s not new but like every time it happens Ray is still feeling lonely.

“Yeah thanks”

Ray can hear a familiar voice from afar, he found His now favorite bar singer sneaking around taking money from one of his faculty juniors. After the recent accident, Ray can’t help but land his eyes on Sand. Ray follows the taller man out from behind, thinking how cute Sand is walking fast, afraid of being caught doing something naughty.

Ray catches up to Sand to the parking lot, tapping Sand shoulder from behind making Sand turn around. “Running your business inside university walls is against the rules, Mr. SInger.” Ray shows his notes, secretly Ray found it cute how annoyed Sand is reading Ray’s note. Lately everything Sand does is cute and intriguing for him, making Ray want to tease him more.

“You again? Who do you think you are, following me around?”

Looks like Ray annoys Sand for real. It doesn’t make Ray want to back up though, he wants to get closer with Sand.

Ray writes in his notes, and Sand waits patiently for him even though Sand is annoyed. “What do you sell though? Drugs? Or probably yourself?” Ray knows Sand hates something like this, but he’ll do anything as long as he can get Sand's attention.

“Whatever shit I’m selling is my business, don’t you have friends to hang out with? Why keep tracking me”

Ray doesn’t have one, that’s why he is here after all. So, he grabs Sand bag that tries to walk away from Ray, making that bag fall.

“Hey” Sand yells when his bag falls, opening them up to check things up showing some bottled drink.

Ray feels bad and responsible for it, so he writes in his notes.

“Give me your QR code.” Ray shows Sand his notes while giving his phone.

Sand thinks for a moment before giving Ray his QR Code, Ray scans his QR but doesn’t pay yet.

“฿ 8000 and you drink with me?”

“No.” Sand answers quick and short, trying to get away from Ray. Ray doesn’t give up easily though, he always gets what he wants. So he quickly followed the Singer, tugging his jacket. Ray show his phone with new nominal input, ฿ 10000.

Sand acts like he doesn’t care, trying to walk again before he turns his head to see Ray again. “What the hell are you waiting for? Lead the way.”

Ray only smiles, leading the way home.

30 August 2023, 12:30 PM:

Sand and Ray arrive at Ray’s house, a house that big people call it mansion. All his life Sand never had a house this big, or rather he never lived in one at all. The earliest memory he has is living in a 1-bedroom apartment provided by the government. The next time he moves out is to the Gogo bar his mother works at. When he has enough money from working at an early age, he lives in a shared apartment with one of his friends. Having a house this big is something Sand never dreamt of having.

While daydreaming in awe of Ray house, the owner of the house is already beside him holding his hand while leading the way inside. The old woman that he assumes is a maid already opening the main door to the house, Ray passes her without even giving a glance.

“Thank you” Sand said when he walked past the maid, even when he grew up lacking a father figure and mom that work all day. Sand is not someone who lacks manners. The maid looked a little surprised, as she looked like no other person ever thanked her. Ray is no different, he turns around with a little surprised face. Sand doesn’t budge, but gives a questioning look on Ray that takes out his notes from his pocket.

“Thank you” Ray shows the maid his notes, making the maid look like she will cry anytime now. Ray only smiles back to her, making an expression so that he will be praised by Sand. Sand can’t help to reach Ray’s head; the receiver is expectant but Sand flick Ray's forehead and pull Ray's hand to continue walking inside.

Ray leads their way, entering a room that has an island table with a marble countertop adorned with some collection of expensive alcohol. They sit across from each other, with Ray retrieving two whiskey glasses.

Ray tries Sand’s drink with a sip, and an awful taste after while writing something on his notes.

“No good” He shows Sand with a cheeky smile.

"People with good taste like you wouldn't go for what I like," Ray can't help but be annoying when the other person is this cute getting annoyed and all.

"But you seem tasty though," Ray writes down with a smile so captivating Sand can't stop staring.

Observing Sand's reaction, Ray turns his back, gesturing for Sand to follow him to the door near the island table. Inside, it's fully adorned with chandeliers and decorative lights, alongside a massive collection of vinyl records. Something Sand enjoys; he rummages through the music collection and finds one of his favorite bands, Micro.

"You listen to Micro? That's not like you at all," Sand asks, giving a genuine childish smile like he's found a new toy.

"That's my mom's. She's dead, though, so it's mine now," Ray writes, giving Sand his small smile.

"I'm sorry to hear about your mom," Sand says, sitting on the sofa beside Ray.

"How did she die, though?"

"It doesn't matter. Talking about the dead is useless," Ray shows his notes with a rather painful smile on his face.

"Sorry, I'm being nosy," Sand looks like he actually cares for the first time. Ray only shakes his head smiling, Sand hates that smile a lot. Like he's trying to be okay when he's not.

"Where are your friends, though? The ones who always show up at Yo's bar," Sand asks, trying to change the topic. Ray is alone today; their friend is busy with their own life, but Sand doesn't have to know and it's a bother to explain so he only shrugs.

"Hahaha, Now I know. You're a lonely spoiled rich brat, right?" Sand says, laughing, earning a small hit on his head.

"Hey, honestly, you don’t have to pay me. I'll be your friend," Sand says, looking straight into Ray's eyes. Ray gives Sand a small chuckle, something Sand never heard from the boy before him.

"So, tell me, my friend, do you have a type?" Sand is confused reading notes that Ray shows him but answers, nonetheless.

"I don't have a type. Different people have different appearances. If that person and I hit it off, we go on," Sand says nonchalantly, taking a drag of smoke.

"Have you ever been hit on by a guy?" Ray writes down another note, showing it with a sly smile to Sand.

"Of course, I've been hit on by people of all genders. I'm open," Sand answers, making Ray's smile drop.

"Why are you asking, though?" Sand asks.

“Guess” Is the only thing written in Ray’s note.

“I just became your friend, now I’m not only a friend but a sex friend?”

“Fine by me” Ray shows his notes that he just wrote, before Sand can process anything Ray is already kissing him hard, not like Sand decline though.

⚠️21+ ZONE, READ WITH AWARENESS⚠️

They kiss each other seeking dominance, but somehow it feels playful with some bite here and there and laugh in between.

"Ngh…. Ngh…" Ray groaned softly as Sand kissed his body further down, sending shivers down Sand's spine as he heard Ray's voice. Sand's hands had been busy removing all the fabric from Ray's body, getting rid of the annoying barrier between them. Sand's fingers were already deep inside Ray's warm cavity, stretching and thrusting them in and out, coated with lube, ensuring Ray was prepared while not stopping kissing every inch of Ray's body, especially the tattoo on Ray's hip leaving his marks.

Ray's breath caught as Sand suddenly sucked on his neck, the moist, plump sensation elongating to feel his skin. Ray tried to push Sand's body away from him, but it seemed futile as Sand remained unyielding. Perhaps Ray was physically weaker than Sand, or maybe Ray was enjoying it so much but wanted to play hard to get. Whatever it was, it didn't matter as Ray was lost in pleasure, unable to think clearly. Ray bit his lower lip hard, fearing that if he didn't, he'd be left gaping stupid from the stimulation.

Realizing Ray was biting his lip hard, Sand stopped whatever he was doing below. Ray snapped out of his reverie and looked at Sand, who was now holding Ray's lip, releasing it from the grip.

“You said you can moan pretty, moan for me baby.” Sand smirked, seeing how his words affected Ray. Ray actually couldn’t moan. He could only use his mouth to drink, make small whimpers, and suck others' dicks.

Ray pushed Sand from beneath him, a move welcomed by Sand, curious about what the petite cat-like creature would do next. First, Ray kissed Sand's lips passionately and nibbled on Sand's lower lip before moving downwards to remove Sand's pants, which had remained untouched until now. Being the only one naked made Ray feel a bit used, but he never dwelled on it much while being with Sand. Ray kissed something hard and protruding down there before he removed Sand's underwear. Sand, seeing Ray unable to take his eyes off him, tried to burn Ray's image in his memory forever.

Ray began to kiss Sand's penis slowly before taking it entirely into his mouth, ensuring they maintained eye contact. The kiss was slow, but his head moved up and down quickly, making Sand's penis redder and harder.

“I want to cum inside you, stupid,” Sand said before flipping both of them back to their original position. Ray smiled upon hearing Sand's words. After all, that's what he wanted. They kissed each other in this position, and Ray thought that Sand liked kissing more than sex.

“Ray…” Sand spoke after releasing their kissing session, which seemed unstoppable, grinding his hips against Ray's, his erection swollen since the beginning, rubbing against Ray's. Ray nodded softly while gently kissing Sand's lips. Ray couldn’t help but be soft as the person before him looked cute and lost in lust.

“Ray… Ray… Ray…” Ray's name seemed to be the only word Sand could articulate clearly at the moment, as if his brain couldn’t think straight anymore. On the other hand, Ray couldn’t hear his name being called anymore as his hole was irregularly pounded by Sand, especially since Sand's penis had been hitting Ray's prostate. Sand had never engaged in unprotected sex before, even with his previous partners. Somehow, something about Ray made him unable to think clearly.

Sand's eyes glazed deeply into Ray's, making eye contact, both lost in lust. Ray's face was flushed, his pupils dilated so much that his brown eyes turned into dark muddy colors. Sand leaned in to kiss him again, a light peck landing on Ray's lips.

Sand's thick penis inside him felt incredibly satisfying, and Ray closed his eyes, feeling his body molded to fit Sand's. Despite Ray's small stature, he was longer than Sand. But Ray likes Sand's thickness more, enjoying the burning and tingling sensation in his hole.

Sand gasped, his eyes closed, and his head thrown back as he emitted loud moans, occasionally hitting the bottom of Ray as if Ray were just a hole to be used. There is no love after all, all they do is sex not making love.

Ray, unable to hold back, felt himself tightening his hole around Sand's penis, opening his mouth foolishly while closing his eyes. Ray's eyes widened, and his body arched upwards, jerking, trembling intensely.

“Ray…” Sand groaned, his body trembling. He swallowed saliva, slightly choking on it before whimpering, sounding pathetic. It felt so pleasurable being inside Ray's warm hole. Beads of sweat dripped around his temples, and he then leaned in to kiss Ray again as he continued to thrust his hips between Ray's thighs.

Ray responded to Sand's kiss, realizing they had both climaxed and were now fighting for oxygen in Ray's room.

“Once more,” Sand said only one word after catching his breath before he began holding Ray's hips tightly again. Sand thrusts harder and fast, seeking worldly pleasure within Ray's hole. Pushing until his penis was fully engulfed, disappearing inside Ray's body, as if wanting to crush his prostate.

Ray was overwhelmed, his breath rapid, moans escaping his lips. Whether he wanted it or not, he came when Sand thrusts forcefully into his hole, making him cum twice without even touching his penis. Ray's vision almost whitened out, but Sand wasn't finished yet and continued to thrust. Sand kept pushing, unaware of Ray's state, before he thrust his hips in one strong motion, closing his eyes, feeling the pleasure as he came for the second time tonight.

This was all insane. Ray had never cum twice in such close intervals, never had anyone made him feel this good. Ray doesn't know if it is lack of sleep or just because the sex is so intense, but he only smiled in bliss as he looked at Sand before his vision blacked out.

"Wait— Ray?! Ray—"

Chapter Text

⚠️21+ ZONE, READ WITH AWARENESS⚠️
31 August 2023, 07:00 AM:
***
Ray only lives for the twenty-four hours he has now. Tomorrow's problems belong to “Tomorrow Ray.” Living at the age of 22 feels like a dream for Ray; he never thought he would live this long. Even though his time stopped a long time ago, the days still change, and his life is spiraling downward. He wants his life to end right now, hoping his chaotic self disappears instantly. Back when he was a child, his home didn't feel like a home. Little Ray once dreamed of growing up, dreamed of attention, dreamed of love.
***

Chirping sounds can be heard from outside, and sunlight streams through a crack in the blinds. Sand can’t help but open his eyes as the sun's rays shine into them, and a pair of hands wrap around his neck. The weight doesn’t bother him; he had almost forgotten how long it’s been since he felt comfort like this. Not everyone he slept with spent the night.

He tries to move Ray's body slowly, attempting not to wake him up, but Ray is a light sleeper and tightens his grip, hiding his cute face in Sand’s neck.

“What? We did many things last night. I don’t think I can get it up anymore,” Sand says with a hoarse voice, chuckling at how cute Ray looks up at him with those doe eyes, just like last night when Ray was giving him head.

Damn, he said he can’t get it up anymore, but thinking about it makes him want to do more dirty things to Ray.

Sand can see Ray staring at him with a naughty smirk on his face. Ray, seeing Sand's troubled expression, thinks about how cute Sand actually is. He knew from the get-go how cute he was, but this side of cuteness makes Ray hornier. Ray pulls Sand back to the bed, switching positions so that Sand is now beneath him.

“Hahaha, I’m sorry that I said I can’t get it up no more, not thinking you are one of a kind,” Sand says, seeing determination and a naughty smile on Ray’s face.

Ray moves forward to kiss Sand, quickly deepening it. They had done many things last night after Ray woke up to Sand fucking him while he was exhausted. He hadn’t slept like that in a long time, but he even slept through it.

A groan of frustration can be heard from Ray as he holds an empty bottle of lube, evidence that they went at it like animals, fucking all night. Despite Sand cumming in him countless times, Ray is still tight. Sand can’t help but smile at Ray's frustrated expression, wearing his heart on his sleeve. One moment he can see frustration, but soon after, a mischievous grin appears.

Ray reaches behind himself while moving forward to deepen their kiss, making all types of fluids spill out.

“I don’t think you have to prepare that part anymore. I doubt that hole of yours is still tight, and I can get it up one more time,” Sand says between kisses. But Ray doesn’t stop, instead swapping the fluids in his hand.

Ray continues, raising Sand's leg to rest on his shoulder. Sand realizes what Ray plans, and before he can protest, he’s silenced with a kiss as Ray’s fingers are already playing deep inside him.

Sand has never fucked bare with anyone, but Ray showed him his recent clean test results after they finished the last condom last night. How horny he is to fuck bare, even using his own semen to prepare himself.

Sand starts salivating from his mouth thinking about what is coming up, and Ray’s fingers that second ago are inside of him now are inside his mouth. Sand gets the cue and tries to make that long thick finger wetter.

Ray’s dick is shorter than Sand’s, but thicker. Gods know how to compensate this small boy. Thinking about the burn that dick can cause while having a wet finger inside of him, making Sand can’t wait and moving closer. He likes it rough after all.

Seeing Sand in chaos made Ray even more impatient.

“I like it rough and fast.”

Ray lifted his body to the middle of the bed, laying him on his back. Looking at Sand's body, Ray wanted to whistle and utter degrading words to the body he never got tired of seeing all night. His white skin was soft under Ray's touch, turning red under his grip. In conclusion, Sand was not only attractive in the face but also all over his body.

Ray hadn't even touched him properly, but he was already restless. Seeing that, Ray's hard erection became even harder. As Sand said, it seemed Sand couldn’t wake his sleeping penis. But Sand's body couldn’t stop seeking pleasure, which didn’t discourage Ray.

Ray, who initially wanted to immediately dirty Sand, changed his mind. Ray pulled out his finger and began his worship by kissing Sand’s heel and ankle. Sand’s ears turned red, and he couldn’t look Ray directly in the eye. Slowly, his kisses moved up to Sand’s calves and inner thighs. Sand was already overwhelmed with lust, wanting Ray to give attention to the area down there immediately.

“Ray— stop ahh not there, please,” hearing Sand’s whimper, Ray’s desire to hear his name moaned louder burned even more.

With no further preparation other than the one finger that had just entered him, Ray began to penetrate Sand’s hole. Rough, large, and forceful. Something Sand liked, the pain was overridden by his lust.

Sand had lost his mind, especially after seeing his lower half. Only half of Ray was in, and just that half had already driven him crazy. Realizing Sand’s thoughts, Ray leaned forward to devour Sand’s lips that were agape from pleasure.

After kissing and feeling that Sand had calmed down a bit, Ray thrust his body and fully entered Sand. He felt Sand’s body tense beneath him, aware that Sand had cum without a prior erection. Sand’s eyes rolled back, something Sand had never experienced before. With Ray, Sand felt new sensations unlike ever before.

Seeing Sand in chaos didn’t make Ray stop; it made him enjoy it even more.

Sand became weaker, his body not as tense as before, and his grip on Ray’s body loosened, allowing Ray to move in and out as he pleased. Sand’s voice was gone; he could only sob and moan as Ray hit his weakest spot.

Ray reached his climax in Sand's embrace, burying his face in Sand's neck and growling as he felt his fluid fill Sand’s body. At that moment, the reality of Ray cummings inside him flashed in Sand’s mind, making him shudder with an almost entirely pleasant foreign sensation. Sand tightened his hug around Ray's sweaty body.

Ray stole a kiss from Sand's lips before Sand fell asleep. Then, Ray went to the bathroom to fetch a clean towel for Sand, something he had never done before, but only for Sand.

31 August 2023, 2:00 PM:
It’s almost evening after they are done finishing up, getting their hands off each other, and cleaning up the whole mess. They are heading out to make this day more productive, actually Sand has some errand to do but Ray insists that they go together as He doesn’t have anything to do for the day.

“You say you want to follow me, I’m using my bike not sitting as your passenger princess for the day” Sand says after Ray insists with his pout in his face and finger pointing at the car direction.

Ray thinks for a while, and exhales, showing that he gives up and agrees to follow Sand with his bike. He never rode one actually, he even can’t get the helmet thing buckled up. Sand helps him, though a mocking smile can be seen on his face.

“It’s just I want you to buckle me up” Ray shows his notes with a big smile on his face.

“Yeah whatever, hop on” Sand says sitting in his bike while gesturing to Ray to sit at the back of the bike.

“Where?” Ray writes in his notes.

“You’ll find out,” Sand says with a smile, ignoring Ray's confused face.

31 August 2023, 2:30 PM:

“Here, hop down while I park the bike,” Sand says, gesturing to Ray, indicating that they have arrived at the so-called secret place.

The shop is located on the side of the road, a place Ray has never been to and never thought he would visit. A big sign reads "Thrift Shop," and people with styles completely different from his are going in and out.

Sand pulls Ray's hand, guiding him inside the shop.

And while Ray looked around in awe seeing clothes that were not his style, but to be honest this day this kind of clothes remind him of someone. Someone that is standing in front of him right now, with clothes in his hands, smiles a naughty smile to him.

Ray raises his two hands in question, head tilted, and eyes frowning.

“Try this on,” Sand says, handing Ray clothes to be tried on.

Ray cutely shakes his head and folds his hand in front of his chest.

Sand thinks it's cute that Ray acts like that with him, acts like he needs to be taken care of. Something that Sand is good at, and before he realized it, is something that Sand gladly does.

“Aww come on, I like to see you in one sweety” Sand moves forward, closing that distance between them.

That’s something Ray hates about Sand, using a cute nickname calling him when there is something Sand wants. Like trying these clothes, asking Ray to eat breakfast for the first time in a while, asking Ray to let him enter and do it one more time.

But that’s something Ray likes, he feels like he is loved. So that’s why, unconsciously he takes the clothes and walks straight to the changing room.

Staring at his reflection in the mirror, he knows he used to hate it, the scars he made are now covered with kisses. Even though there is no love in it, he knows Sand means it when he is surprised seeing Ray’s body the first time, they did it but doesn't say anything but kisses every inch of Ray’s body. He never stops and does it every time they have sex. That’s all he needs, when all others used to be disgusted and judge him for it. Not that Ray is troubled with other reactions, but how different Sand reacts, how Sand is understood and doesn’t pity him, make Ray happy.

Ray is lost in thought until he hears the curtain rustle open.

Seeing Sand Opening Curtain behind him, staring each other from the curtain. 

Sand slipped from behind. “What took you so long?”

Sand is talking to him, but his eyes are in Ray’s lip, his torso, all over Ray’s body.

“What? Not like you've never seen it before?” Ray shows his notes to Sand, while taking a step closer to Sand.

“Hurry up and get changed, ” Sand’s voice was a low whisper.

“Do you want to do something fun?” Ray shows his notes, and a small vibrator in his other hand with something that looks like a remote.

“Why are you bringing something like that? Get changed.” Sand tries to keep his voice quiet, trying to go unnoticed when they are in a small shop where the cashier guy is sitting near the changing room.

Ray doesn’t say anything but puckered his lips.

Sand honestly is intrigued, but he is also afraid to get caught. 

Ray chuckled and pressed himself against Sand, wrapping his arms around Sand’s slender waist.

“Okay, but it won’t be on me” Sand’s voice was soft and low as he leaned in to whisper in Ray’s ears.

Ray laughs a silent laugh, getting his hand down Sand’s. Teasing something that has been bulging down there since before. Making Sand jolt in his touch.

“Ugh, Ray…” Sand whispers, trying to stay quiet.

Before Sand realizes, Ray’s hand is opening the button on Sand’s pants, and his finger is already under his pants trying to open Sand.

Ray pressed forward and ran his lips along Sand’s neck, trying to distract Sand.

Sand could feel his legs buckle beneath him as tension rose in his belly, his heart almost beating its way out of his chest. Ray's fingers made quick work of Sand’s shaft as Sand’s hand is closing his mouth suppressing his moan. 

“Everything is fine?” They took so long that the store clerk worried.

Ray suddenly stops moving and smiles at Sand.

“Everything's fine, my friend is having trouble changing his clothes” Sand says, before Ray playfully starts to insert the vibrator inside Sand.

“Okay” The store clerk gives a short answer and leaves them alone.

Ray chuckled silently, buttoning Sand’s pants, giving him a quick smack, and kicked Sand out of the changing room before Sand could realize .

Ray quickly changes his clothes and shows Sand how he looks.

Sand doesn’t say anything but take Ray hand to the cashier to pay, it’s not like Ray likes what he is using. But like he can complain anymore to Sand, moreover he has nothing else to focus on.

As they wait in line Ray notices that Sand has gone silent. So he searches the remote from before in his pocket, and turns the vibrator to the highest settings.

Sand quickly grabs and squeezes Ray’s arms, his eyes are glassy staring straight to Ray, and he bites his lips trying to stay silent.

Ray reaches Sand’s mouth trying to make Sand release his bite so Sand doesn't hurt himself.

They wait in line like that for a while in silence until it's their turn, as Ray tries to pay for the clothes he is using and gives the clerk his card.

“Think of it as a gift from me”

Ray gladly accepts it, he will cherish everything Sand gives to him.

31 August 2023, 3:30 PM:

“I followed you the whole day, now it’s your turn,” Ray shows his notes to Sand, and before Sand can open his mouth to complain, Ray shuts him up with a kiss on the cheek. It’s not lustful but intimate enough, something he rarely gets, leaving him stunned.

It’s true that Ray follows him without complaint, even trying clothes that honestly are not Ray’s style but suit him so much. Not to discredit Ray, Ray is actually good in anything or without a thing. So following Ray for once doesn’t hurt, but all he wants right now is go home and play with Ray.

“Turn the toy off please” Sand says as the vibrator from before keeps changing its rhythm and he wants to drive safely.

Ray complies and shows Sand the location, and it doesn’t take long for Sand to process until they arrive at a fancy five-star hotel restaurant. They get seated quickly, even with the crowd and no prior reservation, and manage to get a table near the window. Maybe this is the power of money.

He opens the menu, reading names he has never heard before and seeing prices for food he could never afford.

“It’s on me, alright? Order whatever.” Ray writes in his notes, showing Sand, who looks visibly uncomfortable.

“Okay, fine. A plate of salad and a glass of water, please,” Sand tells the waiter, choosing the cheapest items on the menu, prices he actually will never pay for salad and water.

“Are you on some kind of diet?” Ray writes, asking Sand. After spending the whole night with him, Ray can tell Sand’s body is lean but muscular, not in need of any kind of diet.

Sand shows a complicated expression and nods. Ray understands and writes something else in his notes, showing it to the waitress.

“One of each from the menu, all of them.”

“No, Ray, you can’t do that.” Sand stops Ray and the waitress before they can waste more food. Ray doesn’t like what Sand is, so he reaches the remote from before and turns the toys on.

“Okay, I’ll order what you’re having.” Sand concedes, hoping the waitress will go fast.

Ray smiles and points to something on the menu, gesturing to the waitress to bring two plates.

“This whole building is mine,” Ray writes in his notes. He realizes he’s been using the notes more often than he has in the past year since he lost his voice.

“But I hate it, okay?” Sand says slowly avoiding gaze with Ray, trying not to cum from the sudden stimulation. He already used to have the toy inside him before, but having it on is another thing.

Ray nods with a smile, and Sand takes that as understanding.

Even though Sand looks out of place in this fancy restaurant, his face still makes him stand out among the crowd. Sand doesn’t notice, but the woman at the next table keeps whispering and stealing glances at him. Ray subconsciously wants to tell them that Sand is with him and that they can leave.

He reaches for Sand's hand making circle, who takes it with a confused look. But Sand can’t keep a straight face as Ray’s foot moves up his crotch, adding more stimulation to already stimulated Sand, unconsciously moving forward for more friction.

Seeing Sand’s Making Ray can’t wait anymore, remembering Sand’s stupid face as Ray’s dick rammed inside him.

Ray releases a frustrated groan before pulling Sand out of the restaurant. A confused Sand follows him to the lift, where Ray presses the button for the highest floor in the hotel.

Chapter Text

1 September 2023, 1:12 AM

When people talk about Sand, people talk about someone they actually don’t know well enough. If you think you know him, You won’t know him well, and the one who doesn't won’t even flinch.

On the other hand, Ray acts like a lighting but without a storm. Loud but quiet at the same time, people can’t help but turn their head. He has his own pace, unfazed by others.

As different as it is, they are in the same suite right now. In the highest room, dimly lit by soft light, the lingering steam from a recent shower still wafted thinly in the air, carrying the fresh scent of soap. Sand stood in front of the sink, his still-damp hair dripping water onto his slender shoulders, his skin glistening softly under the yellow glow of the mirror's light.

His hands gripped the edges of the sink, staring at his own reflection in the mirror, hoping to find answers to questions he couldn’t voice. A thin white bath towel wrapped around his lower body, leaving his upper body exposed.

He stepped out and found Ray sitting on the long sofa by the window. A long bathrobe draped over his body, and a crystal glass with a brownish drink on the table remained untouched for the past ten minutes.  

Sand didn’t approach immediately; he stood still, trying to guess what the smaller man was thinking. Ray, noticing his presence, shifted his body slightly, almost imperceptibly. Then he patted the seat beside him, silently inviting him to join.  

Sand gave a small smile, walked over, picked up the glass, and sat beside Ray. No questions were spoken; he remained calm, giving him time. Perhaps for the first time, Sand saw Ray at peace.  

It didn’t take long before Ray pulled out his notebook and wrote slowly, as if carving each word. Occasionally, he paused, asking for time, then flipped the page, changing his mind.  

“Let’s just sleep.”  

Before Sand could react, Ray tilted his head onto his shoulder. Sand stayed silent, observing the shift in their dynamic. Minutes past, and honestly Sand can’t sleep like this. He knows something is wrong with Ray. He waits, and waits, until a silent sobs can be heard from Ray.

Sand quickly turned Ray’s body to face him, his face filled with worry, but not a single word could come out of his mouth. Sand saw a side of Ray he never knew existed, from the notes Sand knew Ray had problems, but he didn’t know how deep they ran.

Honestly, Sand wasn’t the best at offering comforting words, as he didn’t grow up that way. His mother was the only person he had, and what she used to do was hug him at night when they faced difficulties, the way she’d held him through nights when the world felt too big, too cruel. So, Sand could only hug Ray without saying a word. He wondered if Ray had ever had that, if someone ever held him with love.

They stayed silent in that position for a while until Ray broke the embrace. He immediately reached for the sofa, searching for his notes.

“Sorry”

That’s the first genuine Sorry Sand ever got from Ray, but what’s more important is why?

Ray knows Sand has that kind of question, and that’s why he writes more.

“She died this time of the year”

Sand doesn’t know what to say, honestly, He thinks Ray drunk, or he doesn’t know why Ray opens up so suddenly.

“I hate my dad, he cheats, never there for her, and she hate me for that”

  “I hate my dad, never home, always with his mistress.”

Sand stayed silent, not a word came out, but now he understands.

The night is spent in silence, Ray doesn’t tell more, and Sand doesn’t ask more. They reach some understanding at that point.

1 September 2023, 6:02 AM:

The first rays of dawn crept through the blinds, painting the room in soft golds and pinks. Ray was asleep again, his body curled against Sand’s, one hand still clutching the notebook like it was his lifeline. Sand’s arm had gone numb hours ago, but he hadn’t moved, and hadn't wanted to risk waking Ray. He looked peaceful, almost fragile, and Sand felt a strange urge to protect that peace, even if he didn’t fully understand why.

His phone buzzed softly on the table, a message from one of his classmates telling the class starting soon. Sand ignored it. He wasn’t ready to leave this moment, this strange, quiet bubble where Ray wasn’t the loud, reckless storm everyone else saw. Here, he was just… Ray. Broken, maybe, but real.

Ray stirred, his eyes blinking open slowly. He looked at Sand, then at the notebook in his lap, and for a moment, Sand thought he’d reach for it again. Instead, Ray sat up, his movements careful, like he was testing the air between them. He didn’t look back, didn’t write, just looked at Sand with those big, dark eyes that seemed to hold a thousand unsaid things.

Sand broke the silence first, his voice low and rough from lack of sleep. “You okay?”

Ray nodded, just once, then looked away, his gaze drifting to the window where the city was waking up. He reached for his notebook, hesitated, then wrote something short and deliberate. He flipped it toward Sand.

“Stay a little longer?”

Sand read it and felt that warmth in his chest again, sharper this time. He didn’t know what he was signing up for, didn’t know if he could handle the chaos that was Ray. But right now, in this soft morning light, with Ray looking at him like he was the only thing keeping him tethered, Sand couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

“Yeah”

Ray’s lips twitched, not quite a smile but close enough.

“Thank you friend”